#I have horrible time management
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i find it INCREDIBLY funny that my ref for this is just,, him being lame and fucked the hell up
#wip saturday because i have horrible time management#god i need to ride his face so hard i bleach his beard ginger#my wee little guy from fortnite !!!#forgive me for any mistakes this is my first time drawing this man EVER HELP#invincible#invincible amazon#nolan grayson#omniman#omni man
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'Not even Hell will stop the Wrath of a retired Angel'
My hc is that Hell decided to yoink themselves one (1) retired demon to extract information or enact whatever revenge they seem fit for the whole bathtub debacle. What they hadn't account for was that a certain Angel, who is know to be quite territorial about the things he loves, would do anything to find their husband after weeks of missed calls.
Well, once he does which might have included summoning and trapping a very frightened and confused demon and pressing them very politely for information (after Heaven was useless as always), he comes up with a plan.
One might say Aziraphale was quite disgruntled, positively seething, maybe even willing to give smiting a try after finding out demons had abducted their partner.
So, filled with the wrath of God and being judt enough of a bastard to be worth knowing he decided the best course of actions is, of course, passive agressive diplomacy. I mean the demons don't know that he isn't actually immune to Hellfire and noone would be stupid enough to try the main entrance, so noone would actually expect an Angel to just waltz into the place like they own it.
Those demons certainly aren't immune to an Angel's Divine Intervention (of the lethal variety) and Aziraphale be damned if he didn't at least try and get their partner out of this in the most idiotically genius way.
#laufxson#crowley#good omens#good omens s2#aziraphale#fanart#this consists mostly off aziraphale looking unhinged and calmly telling them to release crowley#he's smiling the entire time#beelzebub isn't quite sure what's happening rn#they had a horrible day as usual and suddenly there's THE ANGEL infront of them#the angel's vibes are NOT it and feel quite murderous if given the chance#hastur fears he's going to get divinely deleted if he tries to leave again#ten minutes later a confused and disheveled looking crowley is thrown into his Angel's arms#aziraphale still won't tell them days after how he managed to free them#'i just told them very politely of the misunderstanding on their part and they conceded to having made a slight error of judgment'#'now don't fret over it my dear. i doubt it will ever happen again'
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i think itzy should be allowed to shoot people
#every week it���s the same discourse direct your hatred to JYPE#also every time i talk about itzy ppl bring up how i hated sneakers and boys like you#yes i did#i strongly disliked those songs that never meant that i hated itzy though#+ i think that those were their only questionable releases#and my opinion is also irrelevant cause sneakers was a big hit in korea so let’s calm it down#i’m moreso confused about all the ppl on twitter who keep acting like itzy’s releases since then have been consistently horrible#likeeeeee#cheshire was soooo good and even born to be and untouchable#yeah div 2 manage them like shit but just support them instead of making all those cryptic posts#j.txt
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day 192
a break from artfight for some good news! i have finally scheduled a surgical consult to have my enemy (read: uterus) removed. this is a bit of a scarier prospect than my breast reduction was, but i think it will be an equally impactful quality of life improvement when all is said and done!!
anyway those of yall who have been here since the beginning may remember me posting through that whole process so i figure why stop now.
#day 192#year 5#it me#cw gore#cw blood#cw... anthropomorphic uterus?????#hysterectomy#anyway much like the tit surgery this is both gender affirming and ALSO fixing a health problem that has been gnawing at me for years#never been confirmed but we suspect i have pcos and the usual medication regimen for that hasnt been managing things very well#SO suffice it to say my periods are logistically and mentally extremely fucking difficult to manage#always have been but since my thyroid problems began about a decade ago they've become horrible AND unpredictable#frankly im fuckin sick of it and going on T for the 6 months i did gave me SUCH a nice break from it all#that as things have started back up it has been made EXTREMELY clear what a huge burden i have been dealing with this whole time#basically i dont want to go back on T right now im happy where im at. BUT. the thought of having to have periods like this#for like 20-30 more years is rapidly becoming un fucking bearable#SO. we yoink that thang asunder
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I'm calling this video "everything is shit but it's okay because we have each other."
#they talked about a lot of heavy shit in this episode but still managed to be joyful#and that's a gift#to have that person in your life who makes all the horrible shit okay even just for a moment#wanted to show all the positivity because it was so amazing to watch#theyre talking about a very difficult time in their lives but managing it through making each other laugh#the brians#supportive besties#trixie mattel#trixie and katya#katya zamolodchikova#katya#katya zamo#the bald and the beautiful#cj post#i made this instead of reading a book#you can thank my highly spiked anxiety for these videos btw#we love a diversionary project that takes over my brain
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what if i put my life in your hands? what if i took your life in mine?
#okay look there's a reason i've been obsessed with this scene for 21 slutty slutty years#imagine for a second you're yue#your master—whom you loved more than your own existence—decided his work was finished and didn't need you anymore#and he pushed you into the dark where you slept for centuries until a little girl woke you up by sheer dumb luck#you now are trapped in this horrible new era where everything is too loud and too fast and too bright#you're also trapped in a body that isn't yours jockeying for room with a completely separate soul that you don't know or particularly like#and you're draining your meager stores of magic to the dregs in order to keep the two of you alive#under the surface of tsukishiro yukito you're drowning—and the both of you are fading away entirely#and then this boy#pulls you to the surface of yourself#and says with his whole heart 'i won't let you disappear'#he smiles at you and teases you and then pours his not inconsiderable power into you#and you take and you take and you take and he never says stop#he never says only a little but no more#he holds you close and lets you sup on the very marrow of his magic until there's nothing left and he's simply an ordinary human#and for the first time in centuries—perhaps ever—you feel full#when you finally step away and ease his unconscious body onto the bed as gently as you can manage#you murmur that you ought to thank him#but it's such an inadequate way to convey your gratitude#how do you give thanks for what you've made him lose?#you put your life in his hands and he cradled it as if it were precious... and then he gave you his own in return#in the world before this one you would have been as good as wed#you thumb the swell of his cheek and allow yourself one last look at your would-be husband#and then turn around to face the threat behind the door#as it creaks open to reveal a little body wracked with sobs you think you would face anything that would dare come for him or his sister#not because it is your duty as the guardian of the cards#but because you love them#touya/yue#ccs#yue
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Heartbroken reminder that Egwene is 17 when she gets taken by the Seanchan, spends two months in captivity being tortured, used as a weapon and dehumanized. When she gets back to the Tower, she immediately passes a test that's not at all traumatic, nearly gets killed by a Grey Man and is sent on a secret mission to hunt murderers completely unsupervised. During this period of wandering, lacking direction, she naturally gets angrier and erratic, but Nyn and Elayne mostly treat it as childish rebellion against Nyn's authority, with Elayne slapping Egwene because she was mean to Nyn. When the girls eventually get captured because they are not equipped at all to hunt the Black Ajah, Egwene becomes so terrified of being taken again that she keeps on resisting the sisters long past it is sensible, earning a brutal beating from the sisters who throw her back into a cell, beaten to a pulp, with no hope for help this time.
Clearly, Egwene has no PTSD whatsoever.
#egwene al'vere#The wheel of time#Wot book spoilers#The Great Hunt#The Dragon Reborn#Remblai#wot book journey#I think about it all the time#About how early in the books she gets to experience something so horribly traumatic and to receive little support afterwards#None from the Tower#None from her mentors#And little from her friends because they have their own stuff going#And even if the books don't give as much room to Egwene's trauma as Rand's it's always here#Her prime reaction to someone trying to subdue her will be extremely violent#She would rather die than let that happen again#It's beyond me how she managed to rebuild herself after this and mostly on her own#The Wise Ones helped tremendously here#Because she had a strict routine#She was far away from everything and everyone that could remind her of what happened#Being a Dreamwalker has also little to do with the OP so it allowed her to regain control without interacting with the OP#I love her arc from very early on tbh#It's not about Egwene being unbreakable#It's about Egwene living with a pain that could destroy her#That's something she shares with Rand as well
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Sometimes I think to myself "actually maybe I'm exaggerating the terror I felt from being stalked", but then I remember that the person in question followed me and waited for me outside my school every day, tracked me down on every website I'd spent even the slightest time on, left physical letters in my mailbox, sent creepy as hell novel length messages on a near daily basis on FB. And then when I was living abroad and I answered the phone I told the caller to text me cause I couldn't hear, after which I had to read "I was saying that you would probably be VERY scared if you knew who's calling... hehe" with my own damn fucking eyes...
And then I'm like yknow what nevermind!!!! the fact that I'm still terrified of being perceived and seen in public not just IRL but also FFXIV might be understandable actually!!!
#im not saying its what caused my psychotic breakdown cause there were many factors#but needless to say it played a HUGE part especially surrounding the debilitating paranoia i was left with for years#i should mention that i only learned LAST YEAR that this person supposedly gave up according to them#by an old mutual classmate (the only one im still in contact with sadly because this person destroyed all the connections i held dear)#(we were classmates for years and this fucked me up cause we were friends for years before it all went down)#but yeah so last year they gave up apparently and it started 2012.#id managed to evade their notice online since 2019 when they last contacted me on facebook and i assumed id simply shook them off#given the habits i developed as a result of it that still affect me in ways i hate#but yeah its only been about a year of feeling relatively safe for the first time since 2012... and even then only relatively#cause i have no idea how permanent that is. and i dont dare to fully relax knowing what the person is capable of in terms of violence#hysterically tumblr is one of the very places online where they never found me it seems#but yeah. apparently they can just move on and here i am meanwhile still feeling the effects#such as feeling like im drenched in ice even in fucking *ffxiv* just because someones targeting or emoting at me#even though its never actually a problem! its a normal thing! and yet that brief moment of dread and fear seems to stick#IDK WHY IM RANTING ABOUT THIS I WAS JUST REMINDED AND. AURGH#awful. horrible. hopefully itll be fine forevermore and that ill be able to relax one day#silvi talks
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i might just lay down and die just found out my ra for this year is someone my roommate used to be friends with til she posted a jews r the new nazis "becoming what you once hated- ironic" on her story and a whole thing supporting oct 7. like not even a post just her own heartfelt thoughts about how awesome it was.
#i never even saw the post bc i had unfollowed her by that time#i heard abt it from this crazy zionist i know who said she posted hitler was right#& i knew they're a liar so i asked for screenshots & they kept avoiding me#so for literal months i was in this horrible limbo every time i saw this girl i was like she *could* be a literal nazi.#but she could also just be a regular terrible person who said something shitty but not THAT#& that was horrifying the one time i was alone in an elevator w her i was not managing#finally someone else showed me the screenshot so i know exactly what it said#which like. really isnt much better. but hey#anyways idk who to email abt this bc i cant be alone in a room w her#& i dont think anything ever happened i dont think anyone said anything to her. shes on the board of a club#with another insane girl btw but im not even gonna get into that.#oh and shes living two doors down from me#oy. i need new friends terribly#& my friends from my first month of college also have their best friend living on this floor i hope they never set foot in it tho#if i see theater kids on a bad day its over#sigh#delete later
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Breaking news: Neighborhood dog enjoys a peaceful summer night's sleep under the stars <3
Snoopy #15
16/10/2024
#peanuts#snoopy#art#15#doghouse#it's not summer for me i just miss summertime as always#i love making art that looks like shit. straight up horrible.#<- that's not sarcasm#it is an important part of the art ecosystem. plus i had fun and was myself!#none of those stars are passable LMAO#this has been another 'thank god this blog isn't called onegoodsnoopyaday' type of night#snoopy homework can be kind of annoying bc every day it's like this Task that i have to do but at the same time#it's very freeing to have an 'oh this is bad but i'll have another chance at making a better drawing tomorrow' mindset every single day#(and then i rarely actually do a better one lol) (i have poor time management skills) (so it's usually a rush job at the end of the day)#but the important thing is that every tomorrow is always an OPPORTUNITY for improvement even if i do not take the opportunity
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Kinda gets me when people age them down in AUs and stuff because to me those characters wouldn't be half as interesting if Chilchuck, Senshi and Mithrun were the tallman equivalent of in their twenties
#just something about having a lot of history you know#like. chills is divorced or thereabouts. senshi spent like 30 years living in dungeon wilderness. mithrun knows kabru's mom#none of this would be possible if they were 20-somethings#dungeon meshi spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#somewhat i guess#like. yeah kabru and laios and falin (and marci for an elf) are really young BUT have a lot of life exp#but like. the fact that so much happened to them while they are so young is TRAUMA. its BAD#meanwhile chilchuck had like. a pretty average life for a halffoot his age. maybe even successful from a professional standpoint#senshi didnt have an average life but had the time to accumulate an amount of knowledge no 20something could have#and of course mithruns whole life story is like. slowed down because hes an elf#but even then i think its really important to show that it might take several years to start recuperating from a traumatic event#like its what makes his character such an interesting commentary on disability and depression#when you're 25 bouncing back is easier. when you're 40? 50? showing that theres hope#even when you've lost your whole youth to your pain... thats a whole other thing#sorry i started writing serious commentary in the tags#chills#captain mithrun#senshi#even in senshis character up to a point. he spent more years out of society than in it#and YET! even he manages to find a place. somewhat#like. they are all here to show that life goes on even after horrible or simply sad shit happens to you#they are survivors!!!! thats important
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I caved and made them real. Obverse me losing more and more motivation to draw as I made each of these back to back lol
#keese draws#oc art#oc#pmd#pokemon#pokemon mystery dungeon#pmd oc#these guys are inspired by my usual pokerogue team#oh also imagine a question mark after every he/him I have the trans woman beam pointed at all of them#these are just initial concepts for the actual characters themselves now that I’ve developed the world a lil bit#but yeah these 4 were childhood friends who wanted to be in an exploration team together but had to split up for years#tart and quart both had to move away and cart ended up leaving his hometown to try and become a real adventure a few months later#cart and bart remained in contact for a few years before cart got caught up in some crime circles#he was incredibly trusting when he was younger so he got taken advantage of and ended up digging himself a deeper hole in an attempt to be#manipulative back and eventually he got scared enough that he tried to reach out to a guild and acted as a spy for them in turn for them#eventually helping to clear his name and allowing him membership#there were parts of the deal that were unfair and kind of shady but he was desperate enough to pretend he didn’t notice#after he joined he started immediately putting out listings for new team members and he fully planned on being super picky#but when two of his childhood friends applied he was over the moon about it#and immediately accepted both of them#now quart also applied because he had recently ran away from his old life and was desperate to have a new one#and he missed his old friends deeply so when he saw one of them actually managed to start building the team they all wanted to make he was#quick to apply even if he was rusty as hell on normal non contest combat#cart didn’t recognize him at first and mostly only let him have a trial run because he thought it was funny that an eevee of all things was#applying for a high level exploration team and he fully planned on telling quart off immediately afterwards#this ofc made quart very upset and angry but he didn’t try to clairify who he was because he just assumed that time had made cart into an#asshole which isn’t wrong per say but quart didn’t realize cart didn’t recognize him#it was a rough trial expedition but cart found himself actually quite impressed with quart’s slight of paw skills and his impressive biting#speed so he decided to give quart a real chance instead of a mocking one#eventually quart laughs for the first time around him and that makes cart realize who he is and that makes him feel horrible
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i have so many art ideas but no TIMEEEE 😭😭😭😭😭
#user: gossippool 😝#i don't even have that many courses to take this semester i am just horrible at time management#and also a lot of self-imposed deadlines bc i love myself
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what’s there not to understand about hypomania? you know when you get overtired, and like a toddler, you get all hyperactive and also want to cry or do Every Fun Thing you can think of and it actually becomes harder to sleep? like as a result of too much overwhelm or being so emotionally exhausted that’s how your body makes you able to cope, the aftereffects of too much adrenaline? just imagine being stuck like that. and every day it triggers itself more, overload of emotional whiplash and energy and you’ve lost all ability to think rationally and you can do anything at this point, because why not? you’ve got nothing left in you to hold back on any idea that could be exciting and stop you from falling into the void where the wiredness you feel has nothing to latch onto to burn off that nervous energy in a positive way, emotionally. for days or weeks or months on end. you don’t need to have ever experienced this fully to extrapolate and be like. yeah. I can see how it would suck eventually to get stuck like that
#at this point I’m begging people to see the overlap with adhd too bc anecdotally it seems like everyone I know also has that#and the overlap with bpd and hpd but I think the main difference is. being stuck in that high energy state. even when the energy turns sad#and bitter and hopeless. it’s essentially just overstimulation from your own brain. gets stuck overstimulating itself to cope maybe?#like i know people say it’s not triggered by life events but they sometimes can trigger it. but imho depression is gonna trigger it too#eventually. anything where everything is Too Much can start the positive feedback loop that’s almost impossible to turn off#which if you don’t know what a positive feedback loop is. means smth triggers smth which goes back and triggers its original trigger#thus getting bigger and bigger in magnitude. it’s like the chicken and the egg. egg makes chicken and chicken makes egg. more egg more#chicken and more chicken more egg. as opposed to a negative feedback loop which by the time there gets enough of smth it stops triggering#making more of it. your body relies on negative feedback loops for smth called homeostasis which is basically keeping everything stable#so obv positive feedback loops are gonna do the opposite of stable. in this case for your energy and your mood#most people are able to sleep better when they’re tired. my hypothesis of hypomania is when being tired makes you less able to rest#and that obviously spirals in on itself. mania would just be an extension of that I guess? but in some people it does happen really fast so#I get the narrative that it’s a chemical imbalance bc it is. but the specific imbalance being the tendency to a positive feedback loop make#more sense to me too. and can be why predictability and external cycles to ground yourself to are so important#there’s also never a 0% chance of you ever having a manic episode btw. anyones brain can theoretically get into this loop it’s just that if#you’re genetically predisposed to bipolar you’re much more likely to! and that’s okay. you can manage it with meds and lifestyle#but it makes sense why lowering stress (which can trigger this cycle) is such an important part of treatment and management#anyway. hopefully I’m not like. horribly horribly wrong or smth. in the end I can only speak for my experience so lmk if I’m missing smth#bipolar awareness#bipolar 2#hypomania#personal mental health tag#neurodivergence#would you believe I was reminiscing about a concert I went to once. and it made me think of all this
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awesome when. you're procrastinating but for some reason you can't do the mindless enjoyable activities you want to do that would take your mind off whatever's causing anxiety because you have to do another activity (like khm meet up with a friend) so you get the worst of both worlds bc work isn't getting done and you're also anxious🩷
#cause. yesterday and today are my free days and listen‚ this friend cancelled last time and she's rarely free and our schedules haven't#matched up for like months !!! so i shouldn't put this off#but now my free days are “wasted” Without actually wasting time like i want to do 😔#honestly to be entirely honest i really really want to finish this fanfic. it's all i want i cannot emphasize enough how little of a shit i#give about this degree but i need to be done. with this#and i don't even have time to do this . bc i'm horrible at managing time and bc when it's not coming‚ i can't force it#like you can't squeeze sentences out if you're having a shit day and encountering mental blocks and all that. i mean i can't#so. i can't exactly schedule any kind of creativity?? since it's so elusive. does that make sense#if only i was still an unemployed good for nothing layabout💔 then i'd have so much time for stupid shit..#kata.txt
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people love to use ffxiii’s messy development as a reason to completely shit on the game but honestly the fact they managed to sneak in so many little details in the gameplay in a way that reflects the characters and story despite all the miscommunication between the dev sections is just impressive to me
#was xiii horribly planned out and missed out on a lot of important feedback because of the poor time management? absolutely#does that mean you cant be impressed with what the game achieved regardless of whether you liked it or not? fuck no#also the fact theres next to no bugs (not counting the pc port because... yeah) is amazing all things considered#and the graphics still hold up to this day#the linearity is everyones main issue with the game but look at x dude#x was linear as hell too but it makes sense bc yuna had a pilgrimage to follow#just as how it makes sense for the xiii cast to not have time to stop and explore cocoon while they were being hunted by the government#thats why you have so much more freedom to explore when youre on pulse#theres not even anything objectively wrong with having a game be linear in the first place#and the people complaining about the story being ''incoherent'' are just... wrong?#they give you enough hints within the dialogue to piece the story together yourself while also not leaning on exposition dumps to tell it#and if you cant do that then the datalogs are right THERE#games have relied on ''notes'' to tell parts of their story for ages now and i dont understand why its suddenly bad when xiii does it#i dont like sitting through exposition dumps and i like being able to analyse and theorize about a plot WHILE im experiencing it#and a lot of other people feel the same way so its not an objectively bad aspect of the game's storytelling#you just need to pay attention and be patient and wait for the story to unfold#i went off the rails but ANYWAY#aki stfu#final fantasy xiii
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