#I have horrible humor

[spring-gogurt98]

I CANT STOP LAUGHING AT THIS

[cloverthemonke]

i had to

I love pintrest memes

[guinevereslancelot]

it's a beautiful day at the roman senate and you are a horrible goose

[fixyourwritinghabits]

Good news, heard back from my agent! She had many lovely and encouraging things to say!

Bad news, I have one more round of edits to do, so the inside of my brain will now resemble this gif instead of being helpful. Fun!

[hyasynth77]

i still giggle about the piss water bath bomb

my bath bomb turned my bath piss yellow and Im insulted :(

[shitty-proendo-blackout-posts]

Being an introject is so silly

[letter-to-kylux]

How did Hux react the first time he saw Kylo's face?

[ghostorbz]

I can't with this game bro

[mewos-laptop]

Actually no my plurality doesn't distress me at all, and I will never stop joking abt it bc this fucking disorder is OBJECTIVELY fucking hilarious to us /pos

Oh no ! I can't deal with This Thing, I need THREE FICTIONAL MOTHERFUCKERS AND A GOD IN MY BRAIN TO DEAL WITH IT FOR ME ??????? 🤨🤨

[tubbytarchia]

Sosig talking brining up ranchers STAY AWAY FROM THEM GET A JOB

LITERALLY GET AWAY FROM THEMMMM GET A JOBBBB can Sosig's entire character stop being "haha gay people !" and "reference !" sorry

[crimeronan]

shitpost about the worst timeline to offset that angst post: hunter does his usual thing of assuming everyone in the entire world is out to get luz & so he figures that her Clearly Being A Wreck must be her mom's fault. and not, yknow, that she's been grieving him for months.

so while he's very softly very kindly taking care of her matted hair and hugging her and rubbing her back and whatnot, he's also eventually like, "......do you want me to kill your mom for you? because it seems like she sucks and i will totally kill your mom for you."

past versions of this have involved luz yelling at him. but in this particular one he's being so earnest and she's so content that she's just like "you are so sweet. also i think our upbringing may have been deranged."

[slyvester101]

I've been bombarded with clips and scenes of Inside out 2 and now my brain won't stop thinking about what if the reds and blues also have that. Now can you imagine the funny conflict and chaos within Wash's mind as he realises he is in love with Lavernius fucking Tucker? the emotions are probably yelling at each other and I just wanna see ur take on this gsudhdisn

Y’know, wasn’t quite sure where I’d take this prompt, but I like it.

Here you go buddy

—

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??”

Joy doesn’t even flinch as Anger raises the room’s temperature by ten degrees. “It’s not that bad–”

Anger whirls around from the control panel, cheeks burning with what could be fury but Joy is pretty sure is just embarrassment. “NOT THAT BAD?! NOT THAT BAD!??! I DON’T THINK WE COULD’VE CHOSE WORSE!!”

“I like him.”

Anger stills as he turns much slower to where Fear is shuffling next to him. His purple companion is staring at the screen, eyes wide and hopeful as he watches Tucker laugh with his cadets.

His back may be turned, but Fear recognizes the way Tucker’s shoulders square up, the way his chin will tilt back to check over his shoulder to make sure Wash is still there. Still okay.

It’s what Wash does when he’s trying to make sure everyone is safe. That everyone stays safe.

Fear leans in to rest his head on the panel and just… watch.

Anger takes a moment to observe before protesting. “WHY?? He’s an insufferable ASSHOLE! We shouldn’t even give him the time of day!”

Joy huffs, crossing his arms and pouting. “Look at him! He’s super sweet! He cares a lot about us and he knows how to make Fear feel safe! We should give this a chance!”

“Plus, he’s like. SUPER hot.”

“Disgust!” Anger screeches as he turns to face the other emotion currently lounging on the sofa, eyes watching Tucker with a very different intent than Fear.

He shrugs, not even glancing at Anger. “What? It’s true.”

Anger rubs between his eyes, trying to keep a headache from forming. Does no one else see a problem with this? With- with— liking someone like Tucker?

“Sadness, back me up. This is a HORRIBLE idea.” He expects Sadness to jump in right away, always the pragmatic one out of everybody, always the one to keep Wash grounded, to push him to be better (greif is one hell of a motivator).

Something in him wavers when there’s no response.

“Sadness?” He turns to face his second in command and finds him looking softly at the screen too. He at least has the gull to look sheepish about it.

Anger whispers in horror at the implication. “No.”

“I think he’s good for us.”

“No.”

Sadness gives a small, sad smile as he faces Anger, something rare and precious that all the other emotions have learned to cherish. Anger can feel himself slipping. “He makes us happy. You can’t deny that.”

“I– Well– Yes, but he also pisses us off! And he’s annoying and doesn’t know when to shut up and is always coming after us when we’re in danger and nagging us to take better care of ourselves—” Anger stops between pacing steps, realization dropping on him like a ton of bricks.

Shit.

“Shit.”

Joy starts whooping before sing-songing to Anger. “You like him.”

“Shut up.”

Anger watches with no amusement as Joy jumps all around the control center, shouting like he could be heard through Wash’s head. “You like him, you like him, you like him—”

Anger concedes, folding his arms and crouching into himself. “Ugh! Okay! Fine! I like him! He’s… annoyingly considerate.”

Fear sighs with hearts in his eyes. “And devoted.”

“Maybe.”

Joy smirks. “And funny.”

“Don’t push it.”

Disgust hums. “And smoking hot.”

“Enough!” Anger can feel himself burning up, and not from rage for once.

Sadness tilts his head at him, something almost bright shining in him as he looks to Anger. “So…?”

Anger sighs.

They were fucking doomed from the start, weren’t they?

“We like him.”

“WOOOOO.” Joy bursts, running circles around the room while swinging his other emotions around in excitement. It’d been a while since Joy had a reason to be… happy.

Anger accepts his fate of being swung around and jumped on as Joy celebrates the new found feelings.

“Um, Anger?”

“What, Fear?”

“What do we do now?”

Anger blinks and raises a brow at him. “What.”

Fear rubs his hands together, looking way more nervous than he did a moment ago. “Are we gonna ask him out or… I don’t know… tell him?”

Oh. Right. That part. “Uh–”

Sadness, ever the saving grace, interrupts with a hand to Fear’s shoulder. “One thing at a time.”

Joy bounces in, climbing on top of Anger’s shoulders with a grin. “Yeah! We can’t get ahead of ourselves! We have to celebrate the fact that we got Anger to admit he thinks Tucker’s cute before we start Operation: Tap That.”

“I didn’t say that! And we are not calling it that!”

“But you meant it!”

Disgust joins in, grinning as well, to Anger’s dismay. “I’m with Joy, we are SO calling it that.”

Even Sadness gets in on it, giving another small smile before whispering just loud enough for Anger to hear. “Guess Tucker’s rubbed off on us in more ways than one.”

“AGH!!”

[kairithemang0]

Curt would've saved Owen if Owen fell on his stomach, he can't let his man's ass die </3

[toribookworm22]

I just realized something.

One of my professors told the class that it's usually not advised to start a writing piece with a line of dialogue. And his reasoning was because we haven't met the character yet.

Okay. I didn't really get it.

He went on to continue that people will have been thinking about people in their own lives or other characters or something and not having met this new character, they may misconstrue the voice.

Okay. But I still didn't get it.

Then I realized today-- literally a few minutes ago-- why he said this. And why it doesn't make any sense to me.

If the first line is dialogue, the reader hasn't met the character. And if they haven't met the character, they don't know who they are and therefore can't guess how they'll talk. And if so, they'll attach a voice to the character that is probably incorrect because

MOST PEOPLE HEAR WHAT THEY READ.

(Not me forgetting that I'm in the minority that doesn't hear the characters unless I voice them out loud. Next they're gonna tell me they actually see them!... wait... damn it. Be right back. Gotta go describe them in physical detail because readers can actually see them.)

[asterbats]

i think for the shitty scorpion family, their entire dynamic is definitely toxic (heh) but also neither dusk nor bruno is an inherently terrible person? its just that they’re a) horrible together longterm as they are and b) people who should not have had kids.

[visciously-face-fckd-by-a-cactus]

the sheer emotional whiplash I'm experiencing rn-

bc on the one hand, this shit is the scariest and most absolutely hellish thing i can really imagine rn.

like.

they are slowly suffocating in a bolted metal chamber under the ocean with fewer people than you can count on a hand, all while ankle deep in human waste, likely resorting to cannibalism, being forced to listen to "my heart with go on" on loop, unable to contact the surface, and knowing their fate is entirely their own.

and at the same time, these fucking shit stains spent more money on a twisted excuse to capitalize a horrific tragedy for the sake of their own entertainment than it would probably take to rescue and integrate the hundreds of refugees currently drowning at sea. they are at the mercy of their own hubris and the egotistical belief that money and status defies physics. their blinding faith in their own name and coin is the only thing to blame for their shared coffin.

they are scum of the earth, the root of the problem, a laughingstock of the worst of our capitalist society.

and yet--- they are people.

they are human beings, dying in one of the worst ways imaginable, and to feel anything but sympathy for them feels like such an unbelievable failure of my own person.

but also i want to laugh in their faces as they sink in the murky depths.

but no one deserves this- if anyone does though, it would be them.