#I have been wanting to learn it on my Piano!
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The Rush
Hey yall! Finally, I have something for y’all! Thanks for being patient, I really hope y’all like this story.
Summary: Annette wasn’t even originally invited to this party. Or. Number one rule when Richter’s around? Do not touch Annette.
This is obviously a bit AU. Annette and Richter are in their early twenties and Edouard hasn’t been turned yet. And also, don’t talk to me about clothing accuracy, I am here to provide smut not history lessons
All mistakes are my own
Read fic on A03 here
Warnings: Explicit smut, swearing, mild violence
Originally, Annette hadn’t been invited to the Aristocratic Ball and she was fine with that; truly she was. She could stay behind and train with Juste, practice magic with Maria, or something. But Richter was going and when he found out she wasn’t he’d given Edouard, who’d been invited to sing, his best puppy dog eyes and that’s how Annette found herself standing at the mouth of a grand ballroom in the most expensive dress she’ll probably ever wear.
Blush pink with lacey off shoulder sleeves and a corset that shimmered when she moved, Annette feels spectacularly out of place. The skirt billowed out around her, throwing her off her center balance and forcing her to murmur apologies any time she tried to get past people.
Annette wants to hate it.
But she’s caught Richter staring at her four times since they’ve arrived, and she is learning that there’s not much else she wants more than his attention.
Whenever Richter is looking at her, Annette feels like she can do anything. He believes in her in a way thats so breathtakingly new and refreshing if she thinks about it too long her head begins to spin.
Her thoughts have just started drifting towards all the times Richter has caught her looking at him when someone behind her clears their throat politely.
Annette turns, expecting Richter’s handsome face but instead she’s met with the sight of a tall blond man holding out a glass of champagne to her.
“A lady as beautiful as yourself should never be without a drink in hand.” He says offering her a charming smile.
Annette blinks twice, momentarily unsure what accepting this man’s drink will mean for her in terms of how the rest of the night goes. She flickers her gaze from the glass to his face two more times before she reaches out and delicately takes the drink.
“Thank you, sir.”
She barely stops herself from making a face as the term of authoritarian rolls off her tongue and the smell of unaltered cotton laps at the back of her nose. Annette takes a few sips of the alcohol to try and wash it away.
“It’s no trouble at all, I’m Thomas Bloodworth, I had to come make your acquaintance as it’s not often I find myself in the company of such a beautiful creature.”
Annette pressed her lip together tightly to hide the snarl that nearly catapults itself onto her face. She tilts the glass back to her lips, letting her eyes search the crowd over the rim.
Where was Richter?
“Are you here alone?”
She looks at the blonde—Thomas— and shakes her head, nodding towards Edouard who stands next to the grand piano, discussing something with the pianist.
“No, I’m a friend of tonight’s entertainment.” She explains calmly.
“Oh really,” His face lights up and he steps closer to her, leaning down into her space. “My brother is the pianist, maybe the four of us could take a trip down to the pub later this evening.”
Annette smiles, trying to subtly shuffle away as she says, “I’m sure my friend will be quite tired once he’s finished singing.”
Thomas takes her excuse in stride, another charming smile spreading across his face and Annette feels annoyance flicker in her chest.
“It’ll be my treat, my brother has a good set up going on with one of the bar keeps, there won’t be a tab.”
“That’s very kind of you to offer,” Annette says flashing a smile as she steps back several inches. “I’m not much for pubs—“
A look of irritation runs through Thomas’s entire body and he snatches hold of her wrist, jostling her to the point some of the champagne sloshes onto the front of her dress.
“Good thing I’m not asking then, isnt it?” He says darkly; his fingers squeezing tightly. “Aren’t you people supposed to do as you’re told?”
Annette grits her teeth, rage erupting in her stomach and barreling up her throat. Her magic sparks in her fingertips and she sucks in a deep breath to begin cursing the man to hell when a new hand slides across her stomach and catches hold of Thomas’s arm.
Annette feels something brush against her back, large and solid. She doesn’t need to turn around to know that Richter has finally gotten to her and the fury she felt moments ago is nothing compared to rage that wavers from him.
“Get your fucking hands off of her.”
Richter’s voice is murderous. His tone draining all the color from Thomas’s face as he attempts to pull his arm out of Richter’s iron grip, releasing Annette as his panic steady grows.
“Now see here, I was only asking if she’d want to go somewhere more accepting of fancy dressed whores.” Thomas huffs, still struggling to break free from Richter. “It’s not like it matters who lays her down, I’m sure we’d all get a turn.”
Annette winces, not because his words hurt her but she knows they’ll send Richter into a rage. She leans back into his chest completely and though Richter accommodates her immediately, he doesn’t take his eyes off Thomas.
“Richter—“ Annette begins only to be cut off by a loud room echoing—
CRACK!
Thomas and Annette both look down at the same time, Richter’s hand has finally squeezed at just the right angle with just the right amount of pressure; and Thomas’s forearm snaps in half like a twig.
Thomas opens his mouth, probably to start screaming but Annette’s hand flies up to her own lips and she hisses, “Shhh!”
Her magic silences him, stitching his mouth closed with invisible string. His eyes widen, practically popping out of his head as he looks at her and Richter in fear. He turns from them quickly, shoving and shouldering his way through the crowds of people; stumbling up the entry way steps and out of sight.
Annette lets out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding, surprise coursing through her when Richter wraps his arm around her, the hand he used to break Thomas’s arm now rests gently on her stomach.
She looks around, several of the people in close vicinity to them are staring in horror; their mouths agape. Annette shrinks back against Richter even more, an uncomfortable knot forming in her throat.
“Come on,” He flexes his fingers that are resting on her stomach, voice still rough with anger.
“Where are we—?”
Richter doesn’t let her finish, he takes her hand with the one not on her belly and begins guiding her through the crowds. They pass Edouard, who nods in understanding when Richter doesn’t even stop to explain and Annette chooses not to protest when they turn corner after corner and somehow end up in a garden.
The cool breeze of the night air clears the fuzziness in Annette’s head, they walk until the noise of the ballroom is far in the distance and the crickets are their new orchestra. She stays quiet as she walks with Richter, tucked into his side as he stews in his anger.
Eventually they find a bench in front of a tiny pond and Richter leads her over to it without hesitation. They sit together, Richter finally letting Annette out of his personal space; though once she’s settled on the stone bench, he presses his knee to hers despite the layers of her skirt between them.
“Richter….” She says softly, trying to catch his eye.
“I’m sorry.” He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “I saw him grab you and then all that shit starting spewing from his mouth, I couldn’t stop myself.”
Annette smiles softly, reaching over and taking his hand closet to her; squeezing it with both of hers.
“Thank you for defending me.” She says sincerely. “You’ll never know how much it means to me.”
“Always,” Richter replies turning his whole body towards her. His face is flushed with desperate determination and something that Annette can’t quite place. “I’ll defend you until the end of time, Annette.”
She lets her head fall back to laugh slightly. “That’s a long promise, Richter.”
“And you’re worth every single second.” He says with a firm nod.
Annette clicks her tongue, looking around the garden to avoid the intensity of Richter’s gaze. The pond they’ve sat in front of is still, save for a frog that floats on a lily pad watching them. She can feel Richter watching her, his eyes practically burning through her soul and Annette’s heart begins to thump loudly in her chest.
“He didn’t hurt you, did he?” Richter asks quietly, his hand turning over in hers so he can grip her forearm gently and inspect her wrist.
“No, I was just surprised and I froze.” Annette explains, though she doesn’t stop him as he turns her arm different ways and holds it closer to his face. “His insults were mediocre at best.”
“I should have made him apologize.” Richter grumbles darkly.
“Richter,” Annette chides, biting her lip to keep from smiling. “He wasn’t worth it.”
“But you are,” Richter emphasizes, a hint of frustration in his tone. “Annette no one should ever speak to you like that, I won’t allow them to.”
She doesn’t know what’s changed in Richter in the last hour or so but Annette’s stomach flips with excitement every time they meet eyes. There’s a wildness to him right now, a need in his eyes that begs Annette to understand what he’s trying to silently tell her.
He returns his attention to her wrist, gently prodding a few places with two fingers. When she doesn’t indicate that any of them are painful, Richter lifts her arm to his mouth and kisses the skin of her inner wrist twice.
Annette bites her lip, turning her body towards him. Only to grimace a bit when the wet spot of her corset rubs uncomfortably against her skin. Richter’s eyes flicker down to the stain, air blowing through his nose in an aggressive huff.
“I’m sorry about your dress,” he says remorsefully, lowering their joined hands back down to her lap. “I should have gotten to you sooner, before he had the chance to touch you.”
He sighs, then smiles and says. “You still look gorgeous tonight.”
Annette’s face warms, a smile tugging at her lips. “Thank you Richter,” She looks him over once, mouth running dry at the way his biceps stretch the sleeves of his suit jacket. “You clean up nicely too.”
Slowly, Annette raises Richter’s hand that she’s clutching with both of hers. She presses the back against her cheek, nuzzling her nose and lips to the rough skin for a moment and smiling at Richter’s sharp intake of breath.
“Annette.”
She looks up at him through her lashes, unwilling to lift her face away from its contact with his skin. They stare at each other, Richter’s mouth slightly open in what Annette thinks might be awe.
Tentatively, he turns his hand in her grip, opening his palm so he can cup her face. His thumb traces long paths from under her eye and down the bridge of her nose twice, when she smiles at him and it’s clear she’s not going to stop him; Richter pulls Annette into a kiss.
Her stomach does another flip, Annette’s hands fisting in the lapels of his jacket as she kisses him back with everything she’s got. She’s been waiting for this, she realizes, for weeks.
Richter wraps his free arm around her waist and tugs her so close there’s less space between their torsos than there is between her and the corset she’s in. He bites at her bottom lip, a stream of words tumbling out of his mouth between kisses.
“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, Annette.” His tongue sweeps across her bottom lip. “No one compares to you and they never will. You’re everything I could ever want.”
She whimpers, fire burning in her veins and heating her skin while her hands raking through Richter’s hair to find a good handful to twist her fingers in. His hand on her face smooths down her neck, over her collarbone and across the corset; Richter breaks the kiss to glance between when his fingers met the closures of her wide skirt.
“We need more room.” He says, his voice sounding hoarse.
Annette gets the hint, and she agrees, her mind already having thought about getting rid of the contraption long before they sat on this bench. She nudges his hand out of the way, working the clasps open with an expert flick of her fingers.
“Help me stand?” She asks Richter, gathering some of the skirt and pre lifting it so she won’t be unceremoniously dragged to the ground when it falls.
Richter grips her by the shoulders, standing with her when Annette gives him the go head. His rough hands on her bare skin makes Annette’s legs shake and she bites her lip hard to focus on the task at hand. The under wiring of the fabric hits the ground with a thump and Annette lets the skirt itself follow not too long after. She steps out of the mess, feeling exposed but free in her long breeches and corset. She looks up to meet Richter’s eyes, struck by how deeply he is looking at her and everything around them fades away.
His eyes are blown wide, the bright blue seemingly on fire as they run along her body and back up to her face. Richter licks his bottom lip, squeezes her shoulders and kisses her again; his tongue hot and demanding as they stumble back to the bench and Richter sits, pulling Annette into his lap.
“Richter.”
He grins, his lips molded against hers so tightly that him smiling forced her to do the same. Annette shifts, letting her knees straddle his hips and her arms wrap around his neck.
Dropping her full weight into his lap, Annette shudders at how solid Richter is and how safe she feels when he spreads both hands along her body to keep her close.
Her lungs scream for air, the burning in them reminding her that while kissing Richter is life changing and she hopes to be doing it a lot more; there won’t be a life to change if she doesn’t take a breath.
Annette breaks the kiss, moaning when Richter’s mouth immediately chases after hers and his fingers tighten on her waist to keep her from getting too far.
Her name ghosts across his lips, his head falling forward a bit and while Annette greedily breathes deep; Richter plants soft kisses along her collarbone. His nose cold when it brushed along the base of her throat.
“Richter.” She whimpers, his lips finding a particularly sensitive spot in the space where her neck and shoulder meet. The sensation sends bolts of lightning straight to her hips, to her core; making her buck in search of friction.
“I’m here, Annette.” He murmurs into her skin, his fingers pressing into her shoulder blades as if she’s a bowl of liquid gold to be savored. “I’m here and I’ll never let anyone hurt you.”
She preens, scratching at his scalp and grinding her hips down; pleased with herself when Richter shudders.
He squeezes her sides against, kissing the tip of her nose. “I have an idea.”
Annette tilts her head curiously, seeing mischief flash across Richter’s pretty face. He lifts her with ease, moving her to sit astride his thigh and Annette’s brain goes blank when the pressure of his bulky thigh between her legs is exactly what she’d been seeking out since they first embraced. She wants to sob, she wants to scream and—
“Is that better baby?” Richter asks so low that Annette almost doesn’t hear him.
Her lower back tingles, choking a moan out of her heaving chest; her breasts threatening to spill from the top of the corset at any second.
Richter smiles at her, his eyes intently watched face as one hand grips her ass and the other plants on hip. He kisses the corner of her mouth, only pulling back enough to brush their noses together and then at the same moment, rocks her hips down on his tensed thigh.
The sound Annette makes isn’t human, it falls into Richter’s ears like the first time an Angel’s voice was heard and the air around them heats up to an almost unbearable point.
He moves her hips twice more, a grin tugging on his lips when the third thrust is made by her and her alone. Her hands scratch her the back of his neck, eyes fluttering with each roll of her hips.
“R-Richter…” her bottom lip trembles.
“You’re doing great, Annette.” He encouraged, leaning forward and placing sweet kisses across her heaving cleavage. “Take what you need, baby.”
Despite the heat that spreads through her face, Annette doesn’t need to be told twice. Her hips pick up the rhythm they nearly lost, rolling and grinding against Richter’s thigh.
It’s not long before Annette’s panting, practically bouncing on him to keep applying pressure on her soaking clit; her undergarment has long since acquired a wet spot but she can’t be bothered to care.
Richter’s hands return her hips, helping her by tugging, pushing and dragging her hips back and forth on his thigh. He bows his head, groaning as he bites and suckles at the way her corset presents her bosom to him, the ample flesh jiggling with every movement.
Annette can’t hear much beyond the sound of her own whines and Richter’s grunts that seem to coincide with each curl of her hips. Her head falls forward, her arms cradling Richter to her chest and her gaze drifts down to where her knee rubs at Richter’s cock through his suit pants.
Biting her lip, Annette whimpers at the thought that her grinding against Richter’s thigh has gotten him to this point. It’s one of the last coherent thoughts she has as Richter’s hands on her hips change the rhythm in which she grinds on his thighs and stars explode in Annette’s eyes.
“You’re doing so good Annette.” Richter mumbles, placing wet kisses to her neck. “Doing so good for me, pretty girl.”
Her orgasm sneaks up on her, she suspects Richter’s endless terms of endearment have more to do with it than he realizes but she can only open her mouth to shout an intelligible mess of curses as she clenches her thighs and cums. A sob of desperation clawing out of her as her cunt pulses around nothing, her ears ringing violently.
Richter holds onto her, moving his lips across whatever parts of her sweaty skin he can reach.
She feels him shake against her, the hardness hidden by the dark fabric of his pants silently promising that there can be more if she wishes it.
And she does.
“Richter,” Her voice is breathless and light, twinkling out of her mouth as she lets her head fall back and shakes with aftershocks.
He bites her collarbone, one hand skimming down her back.
“Still trust me?” He asks.
Annette nods, biting her lip as she holds his gaze. “Of course I trust you, Richter.”
He grins, lifting her from his thigh but instead of rearranging her into his lap, Richter gets to his feet. He holds her by the waist, the toes of her fancy shoes inches from the ground as if she weights no more than a gathers basket of apples.
Annette looks up at him, her eyebrows raising when he sets her feet to the ground slowly and then turns her by her shoulders, bringing her back to his front.
She glances down, the edge stone bench brushes just above her knee and a new wave of heat starts to rebuild in her lower belly.
Richter wraps one arm across her ribs, pinning her back against him while his other hand tilts her head to the side and his lips find hers. His hand at her hip tucks two fingers in front of her breeches where they’re tied closed with string.
He hesitates for a second, breaking their kiss to stare at her, his blue eyes gazing at her with such pure revere that Annette wants to hide away from him but never let him look at anything other than her again.
“Here,” she says softly.
Her hips push up against his, her ass rubbing seductively against his still clothed cock as she bends at the waist until the tips of her fingers come in contact with the cold stone of the bench.
Richter’s hand grip her hips, his thumbs massaging the skin between the corset and undergarment. Steadying herself, Annette quickly unties the string of the breeches and lets them fall down to her ankles.
Above her, Richter groans.
“Annette, you’re going to be the end of me.” He hisses.
She looks over her shoulder at him, smiling prettily as she teases,
“We better hurry up then, you’re not allowed to die until you’ve been inside me.”
Richter splays one hand on her lower back, fingers hooking in the ribbons of the corset while his other hand pops the button on his dress pants and tugs down the zipper.
Annette pushes her hips back impatiently, a voice in her mind reminding her the party will over soon and the garden more than likely be flooded with inebriated people. She wants to be long gone and in Richter’s bed by then.
“I need you Richter,” she whines, bringing herself back to the present and looking at him again.
He rolls his hips into hers again, this time though all the barriers have finally been removed and the hot, soft skin of his cock bumping against her soaked pussy nearly buckles Annette’s knees.
She closes her eyes when she finally feels the mushroom head searching for her entrance, Annette twists her hips up and back; a shout falling from her mouth when Richter’s cock slides into her in one long stroke.
Stars burst behind her eyelids, her fingers curling around the hard stone edge of the bench as she pushes her hips up higher in an attempt to take Richter even deeper.
“Fuck, baby.” He breathes. “You’re so—so tight.”
Annette shakes, clenching around his thick girth as she begs,
“Please Richter, please move.”
He chuckles, breath labored as he fights to hold onto his last bit of sanity. His fingers tighten in the laced up ribbon, his own personal pair or reigns and his feet nudge her legs wider.
“You’re ready pretty girl?” Richter asks, and without waiting for to answer he drags his cock back until only the tip is left inside of her.
He pauses, just long enough for her to suck in a breath of protest at his snail like pace before yanking on the ribbons at her back and slamming deep down into her.
His pace is punishing.
His hips pounding bruises into her, watching in lustful awe as her ass bounces and jiggles with each of his thrusts, her pussy coating his cock with her essence as he fucks into her like a man dying of thirst.
The sound of their skin slapping together fills the garden, over powering the crickets and falling into harmony with Annette’s moans of mind numbing pleasure. Her tone climber higher and higher until she suddenly shrieks, her back arching hard and her cunt spasming around him.
“Richter! Richter! RICHTER!”
Her nails scratch at the bench and he pulls her up, wrapping one arm over her shoulders to keep her back to his chest as he fucks her through her orgasm.
“You take my cock so well, Annette.” He growls into her head. “You were made for me.”
“Yes. Yours! I’m yours Richter!” She sobs, her head lulling back against his shoulders.
He pumps into her until the last very possible moment, holding his breath as he wrings two more moans from her before jerking his hips back far enough to pull out of her.
Annette’s hand smacks his own away as she takes hold of his glistening cock and twists her hand from the head to the base.
She kisses his chin, her teeth nipping at it when she murmurs,
“I really wanna see you cum, Richter.” The tip of her tongue glides across his lip. “Please cum for me Richter.”
The coil in his lower spine finally snaps. He pulses in her hands grunting as ropes of cum spurt from him and land on her thigh and hip.
“Oh fuck, Annette.” Richter groans, pulling her into a rough kiss thats all tongue and teeth.
They slump against each other, Richter holding the majority of Annette’s weight as they both try to return their breathing to normal. They’re slow to pull apart, but the distant sounds of the party expanding eventually forces them clean up and redress as best they can.
Richter gives Annette his suit jacket, buttoning it closed for her after she rights her undergarments and the skirt though she chooses to leave the wiring where it lay in the pebbled ground.
They hold hands and occasionally kiss as they walk back through the garden, around the side of the massive mansion and down the long gravel pathway.
Edouard is waiting for them, just outside the gate and he only smiles knowingly when he assures them he hasn’t been there long and that the party still has hours to go.
“I knew after you got Richter to calm down you’d both be ready to go home.” Edouard explains with a shrug.
Annette makes sure to squeeze his hand in thanks on the journey back to Tera’s.
The End
🫣you made it to the end lol I hope y’all enjoyed this one for real, let me know what you think please like and reblog!
#richette#richter x annette#richette fanfic#richette smut#smut#richter belmont#annette castlevania#annette#castlevania: nocturne#castlevania#castlevania nocturne#smut one of two#evie’s stories#my writing
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We're almost Home!
Aahh I am so relieved! This was more of a Messy sketch and such, but I am Happy to have been able to draw something I can be proud of! I am a bit frustrated with the grass, but I'm super Glad I managed to finish this!!
I am very Excited for the March 1st update!! So much more inspiration.. colours.. just.. AAH!! Yay yay!!!! :o)
#my art#Lalalaaa#I am listening to The Minecraft OST right now!#Dry hands makes me cry a lot#A very good song though!!#I have been wanting to learn it on my Piano!#I may just do that..#Have a great day everybody!!#March 1st!!#AAHHH!!!#It will be March the 2nd for me... BUT OH YAY!!#welcome home#wally darling#welcome home arg#wally darling fanart#wally welcome home#welcome home fanart
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Actually so tired that people mainly focus on the bdsm when they talk about La Pianiste when we literally have this dynamic right here. Like, that's insane.
What if you were a little girl in her 40's who couldn't grow up because of your mother-wife who made you sleep in her bed and forced you to repress every sexual desires and thoughts of becoming your own person just to keep you close to her ? What if you fought back and yearned for dangerous things out of her reach ? But also, what if you let her because it's all you've ever known and been taught to want ?
#these two are so entangled with each other and in the roles they play#(mother and daughter. husband and wife. prodigal or ungrateful daughter. adoring or mocking mother)#that they cannot handle it when something else is thrown into the mix#There's no space left because they fill all the roles in each other's lives.#but at the same time they never give the other exactly what she wants#The fights never last. Erika will never live up to her mother's ambitions. And her mother will never give her any form of affection which#might satiate her hunger for love. And so on.#They are deeply imperfect- Love and Despise each other but they could never bear the thought of being separated#When I read the part in the book where Erika talks to Walter for the first time and all she wants is to go back into her mother's womb...#you can't make that shi up#when people talk about toxic yuri that's what they could mean but unfortunately we live in a society#gradually learning to accept the person I'm becoming who would've been burned at the stake by my younger self <3#been having so much thoughts about this film once again. And I know that nothing written here is new but I'm a little sad no one really#talks about this relationship online since it's really the heart of the story for me#Of course everything happening with Walter is important. But none of that would be there without the mother-daughter situation#la pianiste#the piano teacher#haneke#sheep stuffs#isabelle huppert#also I'd kinda get it if it was another film and it made people too uncomfortable to talk about it. but I mean this is literally La Pianist#*
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Y'all I might.ask my mom to let me take piano lessons....
#piano is my favorite instrument next to violin and ukelele and I've always wanted to learn to play!!#only thing is I'm terrified of asking my mom for things..especially if it involves me going out somewhere#I'm scared she won't let me but I won't know until I ask!!!!#I would ask to do something sporty like tennis or something but yk.braces.. if I get a ball in the face it's over for my brackets#AND MY STAMP CARDDD :((((#no but srsly I am super interested in piano and have been since I was around 9#if I could learn how to play it'd be a dream come true!! :D#so I'll work up the courage and ask her!! eventually!! >:D
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love watching russ's videos from his studio over and over and over just to see how his hands move on the guitar as he plays it
#me#i'll have one some day#a guitar#but wouldn't mind a russ too#also love watching his piano videos from his house over and over and over just to watch how his hands move on the piano#i'll have one of those some day too#a keyboard at least#it can take me the rest of my life to learn to play#i don't even care#i just want one to start the process#i did actually start the process when i was a kid but it's been on pause for like nearly 30 years#that's TOO LONG
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@ my moots (or anyone who sees this)
Do you play any musical instruments and if yes, which one(s)? I'm curious Tell me in the tags, asks or replies!
#I have been playing piano for a long time and I still do#then cello for four years but it wasn't really my thing#I can also play guitar a little but only basic chords to sing along#and I have started learning alto sax recently (but I still have to figure out what exactly I want to do with it)#And then there's kazoo recorder and my voice which is fun and doesn't take a lot of energy#misha talks#music
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🎶✨️when you get this, put 5 songs you actually listen to, then publish. Send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers🎶✨️
5 songs is too little give me a CHALLENGE/j
#had i not done one from every artist/band. this would've been JUST chonny jash probably#if so it'll be like#contempt. hidden in the sand. art. all of TTHD power hour#been listening to HitS a fair bit lately. maybe cos i just learned it on piano but idk#KJ try not to mention chonny jash challenge [impossible]#oh also have slowly been listening to more of will wood#i listened to a handful of songs forever ago & im just getting back into it + with more songs#moss post#anyways listen to Identity Thief is a bop#Michael is a small artist but makes good tunes#if anyone wants i can list my favorites but he's neat#[song also is SO a soul song. soul & whole specifically. been meaning to draw a thing with the song about soul actually]#okay moss rant over
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the main problem is there are too many great books, movies, video games, comics, TV shows, music, sports, languages, musical instruments, crafts, and various hobbies that I could get into and I want to get into all of them. the human lifespan is only about 80 years unfortunately AND I'm prone to both accidents and lapses in resolve
#it's like oh I want to get back into running. baseball. weightlifting. climbing. kickboxing.#pick up the flute again. pick up piano again. I've had 3 tap dance classes that I have not cashed in for over a year.#been meaning to brush up on my spanish. oh yeah I think it'd be cool to learn german/arabic/portuguese/tagalog/japanese/ASL.#been meaning to draw. been meaning to write music. kinda want to start a band. play electric guitar. drums#make comics. start painting. hike on the regular. snorkel. sew. woodwork.#go fuckin bird watching.#bro everything is so cool how am I supposed to choose?
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some exciting preset names on my keyboard
#OMG havent posted abt this yet. FINALLY brought my beautiful keyboard home i have missed her so much#havent sat down and learned a full song because i jumped right in with wanting to learn thunder road#very difficult when it has been probably over two years since i properly played any piano lol#BUT im having so much fun
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when you make a decision to change something for the better in your life but you still have to keep living as is for a bit 💥💥💥💥💥💥
#i speak#ive been thinking about stopping classical piano lessons for a while now and i finally made up my mind. i just dont have the time#and it feels nice but its also kind of scary bc i havent had a break from it for longer than two months since i was 3. lmao#but what finally got me to make up my mind is the decision to start jazz piano lessons instead. which i have wanted to learn for years#since i have the technique it wont be like learning an instrument from scratch but i will be basically a beginner again. which is less of a-#-time commitment#but ill still be playing and FINALLY will learn to improvise :)#its a relief to have decided this but unfortunately i still have two performances i have to do this week 😭#hence. this post
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the music for the colgera battle is quite delightful (wow i just need to say i like it. goodness) its a shame i couldnt really properly hear it while actually playing on account of having to sit right next to a loud ac but listening to it fully the other day was nice. took me a few weeks but i can appreciate it now - and listen ... im a simple guy, the rito village theme being incorporated into a section of it is just wow :-( ....... big leitmotif fan. walking into zoras domain is going to kill me
#music is the only thing important to me actually.#when i played botw i spent a lot of time dilly dallying as one could say. basically just splorin. and riding my horse around in literal#circles#it took me years to do more than 2 of the divine beasts ... LOL.#anyway. in botw i always did mipha first but as of late noted to myself that when i replay botw sometime in the future im going to head for#vah medoh first .... revalis gale is my best friend#i sort of took that over to totk and after a few days i was like okay im going to rito village im curious#i think im going to have very fond memories of that in the future. i really enjoyed doing all of that :-)#i want to say - totk very much so has had the ability to give me new ''wow'' moments that i had in botw#and gosh .... thinking about how ive played these two games at very different points in my life ... ahhh#in my totk playing i have been very much spacing out the main objective stuff. i did get around to rito village somewhat quickly#like perhaps a few days after i got the game (finished the tutorial area on the first night and just went to towns and explored yadada#for a few days after that#and then i did gerudo town a little while after that#so far i have not ventured to goron city or zoras domain. ive explored a little bit in each of those regions but have not yet gone and#committed. although goron city is next#ohh i did a labyrinth the other day. wicked fucked up man they put half this shit in the sky also randomly The hands were there#scary. no more elaboration#back to music. i learned to play miphas melody on piano a few years back#i really need to get back to piano ... learning to duet kass' theme with my sibling but ive been slacking on my half#hyrule warriors age of calamity was insane purely for hearing a version of miphas theme but for battle#like duude. are you hearing this? dude........#just remembered sidon. dont even get me started .......... sniffle#so crazy when there is music
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fun fact about me, I have a full drum kit and an electric guitar (neither of which I can play) and a very fancy keyboard that I can play, technically, but the only song I still remember is the Star Wars Theme
#cookie speaks#i think i have na acoustic guitar somewhere still too#i never learned to play#my parents made me learn piano instead#they said it was easier to learn to read music then I could learn guitar easier#those two things#are not the same#watching KP really makes me want to learn guitar again tho lol#another fun fact is that i was writing music long before I ever got piano lessons#but obvs didn't know how to write/read sheet music#so my 9yr old adhd ass#came up with my own language for writing music#i still crack up when i find old notebooks with it#i miss making music#it's been many a year and sometimes i think about getting back into it#maybe once nursing school is done i'll pick up an instrument again#im garbage with lyrics but my composition is passable
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I love music so much and it’s such a huge part of my life I wish I were better at creating and playing it
I can sing on tune and can kind of sort of play the piano (awful technique and it takes me forever to learn anything, but I can read sheet music) but I have never been able to compose a melody of my own. I can write poetry and fiction pretty dang well, but song lyrics are tough for me.
I’ve been trying to practice more of these skills, but it’s hard to know where to start with a lot of them, ESPECIALLY composition.
#woof#im here because i don't want to grade#I'm half way through learning Wander My Friends on the piano which is exciting! It's been about a decade since I played with any consistncy#but I'm finding it so rewarding? I never thought I'd pick up piano again but#i've been literally clapping and laughing while alone when i learn a difficult part#or the song starts to come together#it still sounds rough but im proud#i still have the rest of the battlestar song book to go through#and a star trek one!#it includes Faith of the Heart so watch out everyone
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my dad just played a bit of Nothing Else Matters just now on guitar he's so cool
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#heyy i am shy with music with my dad ngl. he's the guy who really got me into music after all#on our trip like a couple of weeks ago tho? he now knows my top 3 favs are the 1975 and hozier and mcr ^___^#today apparently his coworker was like hey anyone wna come with to mcr concert! and i got rlly excited and like damn but it was in aus so..#and then mom asked if that was a kdrama LMFAOOO and then dad said no theyre emo band..... hes not wrong but i tried to say theyre punk rock#he said No They're Emo LMFAOOOOO i suppose he's not wrong. anyway#idk i really want to learn guitar uh it's good i have my dad who can possibly help out but id rather he not tbh!#+ also uhh we were walking around the other day talking about courses and he was like maybe music (for non-quota course but idk anymore lol#it's complicated) but he was like. music nah bcs you guys arent really musically inclined/talented (?) i forgor anyway a bit taken aback but#hes right unfortunately...? used to play piano as kids. doesnt feel like long ago but it was ages ago#and then i wanted a guitar and we got one but since then i've learned only like 2 chords and it's been over a year now i think. or almost.#idk anymore tbh! time crazy but anyway i will do my best fr. with everything. gah#i'll be honest i kinda really do want to pursue music actually but i'm terrified and confused? uhh complicated complicated complicated frfr#its an acoustic guitar btw. might have been easier if it were electric bcs damn its hard for me to place my fingers right#+ i think theyre cooler but not the point! if i do learn the guitar dad said we cld maybe buy an electric one or a bass so... ^___^#anyway i think mom is warming up to cats and we might convince her more soon to. yk. allow us to adopt#not buy! i want to adopt. i love cats they deserve everything but i also really love dogs sobbing but moms scared so its fine#i forgot my other thought oh my god goodbye#oh. right! violin! lune likes the violin and considering we now know its our moms fav instrument we may convince her to let lune learn ?!
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mfw in hindsight there obviously was something Wrong With Me when i was growing up but i didn't think of it as a possiblity whatsoever because of environmental circumstances & I Am Just Lazy And Useless And Doing Fuck All By Nature & I Thought I Fixed My Biggest Issues By Therapy Already And I Didn't Think I Could Have Any More
but then said behaviours continue even in better environments and you're suddenly out of uni wondering what the actual fuck is up and it's into the downward spiral to wonderland from there
i'm the frog being dissected in biology class. i'm the dissector at the same time. i peel out an overgrown lump out my dissected frog ass and see that in fact i do have Behaviours. now i have to find the origins of this behaviour & unfortunately the best i can do is speculate. which sucks because i need to 100% know what's caused by what else in order to understand it and deal with it better
(blingee sparkle gif effects) Unfortunately Nothing Is Ever Certain With Comorbidity, Baby! Nor Is It Certain It Is Comorbidity To Begin With (This Is The Impostorism Talking)
on one hand, learning frog anatomy by poking its ass & getting to know myself better to deal with it. cool, i guess. on the other.
god. why.
#im the loadbearer of frog shit#alright mrs. i lay on the floor 5-30 min after full-time school obligations because I Am Too Tired To Do Anything Else#alright mrs. i wanna learn piano. gets a piano and then doesn't out of anxiety of other people around#alright mrs. i wanna do x y z & the entire alphabet. but you'll do it only when a certain time hits. or you're mentally somewhere else.#and then you don't anyway. and then you wait and wait and then suddenly it's been over a decade?????#alright mrs. i always do my obligations and schoolwork Out Of Anxiety For Negative Consequences And Not Because I Like Anything#alright mrs. I Only Immediately Do Things That Are Obligations But I Hate Being Told What To Do And Having No Freedom Of Choice#alright mrs. I Have art WIPs for 6 Years Untouched. ''i should finish this'' annual revision. still doesn't do it#alright mrs. I Have Energy For Fucking Nothing And Am Stressed 24/7 When Committing To Anything I Don't Like Especially Full-Time#alright mrs. I Have More Free Time And I Still Don't Do Shit Except Engage With My Hobbies Sometimes Unless I Am Really Into It#alright mrs. Saving Up For Sims 4 Selling My Beloved LPS Collection & Then Not Playing It For Years#alright mrs. I Read Other People's Analogies Of Their Feelings And You Don't Understand Whatsoever Until You Put It In Your Own Words#alright mrs. I Want To Do Things But I Just Don't Because I Don't Know I Just Don't. EXHAUSTING. UTTERLY EXHAUSTING#alright mrs. I Wanted To Do My Flight Rising Shit Today But I Spend It On Late Breakfast. Shower. Hygiene. Browsing Reddit For Research For#uhm. i don't know How Many Hours but it's Hours Alright. and then it was dinner time. And Here We Are#fucking fuck ign violence everywhere hatred malice shooting eyelaser beams#sy.txt
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lowkey feel awful like a puddle of bile like a half wet rag on the floor however someone very talented just complimented my dumbass trumpet impression and it was really nice and im reminding myself that its a good day even if its dark now and that one hour is hardly too long to wait for nice things to happen and that i made one friend today and had a wonderful time with another so its really ok and all good and beautiful
#boink#affirmations affirmations affirmations affirmations#reminding myself of all the good things that happened today#reminding myself that i have friends and they enjoy my company#im not alone#they tell me so and they tell me often and they show it now more than ever before in my life#and im so lucky for that#im so lucky for so many reasons#and i can feel thin and worn out but still know that life is worth it#so i am reminding myself that#with lots of little reasons#i made a friend#they came over and said hi because they said i looked cool#i give good energy#i learned three new songs on piano today#indigo girls songs and i sang them with my whole heart and my whole body#i hung out with my friend for two hours#he was happy to see me and we laughed a lot#i had been sad because i invited him to a show and he couldnt go#but today he said to let him know when the next show is if i still wanted to take him#that made me very happy#tonight i get to see my friends again and have rehearsal#tomorrow i get to go home and see my sibling perform#i get to go to therapy with good news#i get to tell her i did the thing i was scared of and asked my friend to hang out#and it went so nicely#it was so hard but im so happy i did#so many good things#my friends#im lucky
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