#I have art ideas but they are beyond my skill level rn

[deus-and-the-machina]

imagining mcyters as dacha characters is so wild so I have been thinking about some of the hc/life series folks with the hsr types... its mostly pearl haha

Traffic life Pearl: physical hunt, a single target dps who wants to stack the bleed debuff with her own kit and the help of supports. She marks one target and connects them, then with her ult reduces her own hp that reduces the enemies too, proportional to how much hp she has and how much bleed has stacked. if she's healed it won't effect the enemy. weapon is double sickles.

Empires Pearl: imaginary destruction, a bounce attack focused dps, each of her animations switches to a different weapon. swings with sword in her basic, uses a bow in her skill, in her ult she boards a chariot pulled by a duckling that charges into the enemy. the center enemy will always receive a set amount of damage but the enemies to the side are dependent on the randomness of the bounce mechanic.

S9/alien/janitor pearl: quantum erudition, a sub dps who places a spore stack on enemies she attacks. she starts in her secret agent form but when the spore stacks activate with her ult she switches to janitor form to "clean up" the stacks. she reshuffles them like herta's ult does, with the biggest stacks on the biggest target and lets the main dps do more damage. The stacks only disappear once pearl attacks so the main dps should ideally go first

Last Life Cleo: fire nihility. a support who focuses on inflicting a burn DoT and activating them with her ult "forest fire". Allies who hit enemies inflicted with her DoT help increase it but also become hurt themselves. They themselves do not receive a DoT, just flat damage

[lovee-infected]

This idea just hit me like a train. How would twst boys react to WAP from Cardi B?? 😂😂😂

I'm trying to ignore the fact that I might've never discovered WAP without this request...🗿

Warning(s): What should I even tag as the warning idkk ckcjxjsjsjdjdjck- Mentions of WAP's lyrics, mentions of nsfw, Warning for Idia's part bc I think it went a bit too far-

Riddle Rosehearts

Heard of this song named WAP being trending between students -> Searched it up -> Riddle:... Riddle: *Turns off his phone*

Bans WAP from the whole Heartslabyul afterwards, and every student found listening to it will have to face Riddle's: "NOOOOOOO- NO WAP IN THIS HOUSEHOLD - GO TO HORNY JAIL OFF WITH YOUR HEADS YOU UNWORTHY CREATURES- "

Trey Clover

Searches: "What does WAP mean?" before wards and after reading the search results he decides that he doesn't really need to listen to the song itself anymore.

He just clears his browsing history and returns to baking cakes. Nothing has happened, he knows nothing.

Cater Diamond

He is the guy making those "Night raven college react to WAP!!" videos on magicam. His reaction videos get over 100k views and people from all over the Twisted Wonderland start following this dork for them.

Who cares about the WAP itself? As long as he can gain followers over these videos he doesn't care how the song is supposed to be.

But at last Riddle discovers his videos by finding other dorms' students laughing over them and forces him to take them down💀 Man, Riddle really did ruin his once-in-a-life time chance for becoming popular.

Ace Trappola and Deuce Spade

Riddle has banned WAP Heartslabyul so they're going to illegally listen to it. It was Ace's fault though, Deuce is innocent.

Ace searchs up the music video, Deuce just sees the thumbnail and tells Ace that he doesn't think that this is going to be a good idea but Ace cuts him off by asking him not to be such a chicken-

Though they had to stop because Deuce was all shaky and embarrassed after just 20 seconds :"Stop this-STOP THIS- I CAN'T DO THIS- WE'RE STILL TOO YOUNG" and Ace had to stop to shut Deuce because they could've gotten caught at any second because of his unholy screams.

[a few minutes later...]

Deuce: It was saying DOORS in this house

Ace: Bruh what the- we both know it was saying Wh*res.

Deuce: Y-you dirty minded bastard!! It was clearly saying doors in this house!

Ace: Why the hell would they say doors in this house!??? It was wh*res!

Deuce: Doors!

Ace: WH*RES

Deuce: DOORS

Ace: WH*RES

Deuce: DOOOOORRRSSSSSSSSS

Leona Kingscholar

See he might be a jerk but he hasn't yet gotten to the level of appreciating this way of presenting women in songs-

He's just going to pretend that WAP doesn't exist,but most of the Savanaclaw on the other hand are going wild because with WAP, now he can't even take a peaceful nap without WAP being looped in his brain.

Ruggie Bucchi

WAP isn't beyond his power, he's handled stronger songs.✨ He'd regularly rap WAP in public when he's feeling like it.

Now he goes around to recommend WAP to naïve students and taint their virginity by making them listen to WAP without knowing what it is-

Jack Howl

Catches Ace and Deuce listening to WAP and ends up listening to it because of them. He doesn't knpw what to say...

He isn't mad, just disappointed. Disappointed parent noises. Out of all these students, why should he best buddies which these two?

Time to drag Ace and Deuce to a corner and give them a long speech on why young men their age need to be focusing on mastering skills and achieving success through these golden years instead of violating rules and tainting their pure minds.

"Trappola-kun, Spade-kun, you've greatly disappointed me. You need to be more mindful of your actions as fellow freshmen of night raven college. Is this how the future's great magicians are going to be? How do you think your parents would feel about this new habit of yours? Have you thought of how despicable women are being presented through such songs? Are you going to support such a taboo message toward ladies?"

And Ace and Deuce end up having to listen to him and think of their bad actions for the rest of the day...

Azul Ashengrotto

[Before listening to WAP]: He hears of this WAP song being super trending between students. What might it secret be? What kind of magic would make a simple song so hecking popular? He has to find out.

Azul thinks that by learning WAP's ways, he might be able to produce songs that are even better for mostrolounge and even start his very own music company! But before that he needs to listen to wap itself...

[After listening to WAP]: ...He discovers what kind of magic is making it so popular, but decides that it'd be better for him take a step back from the world of music for now. Yes, he's traumatized

Floyd Leech

"Hey hey koooeeebiii chaaannnn have you seen my new dance~?" ah yes, he's got the WAP dance and he's proud of it. These are the time when he's genuinely thankful for getting to have human legs.

But the WAP dance isn't his only target, he realizes that Jamil doesn't seem to want Kalim to know anything about WAP, but thankfully, Floyd is going to be kind enough to bless the young Kalim with his wealthy knowledge on WAP. ✨

Jade Leech

"My...my...that was savage," Jade is amazed, it's quite wonderful how these fragile creatures can go from Micheal Jackson's smooth criminal to WAP in a matter of years.

He's still having trouble keeping up with latest human trends and popular songs but, he's slowly liking humans a lot more than before. These creatures have already reached the level to make put p*rn in music, impressive.

Kalim Al Asim

He hears students whispering about an epic song named WAP during the classes, and of course he'd be intrigued!

He looks up the song but Jamil has already blocked his access to any sources that he might find WAP in, yet Floyd was kind enough to lend Kalim his phone to let him listen to this masterpiece. Later on, Floyd tells him about the WAP dance and bam, Kalim is addicted.

"Everyone watch me! I've got the WAP!"

Poor Jamil doesn't know which is worse, having Kalim signing it loudly in the dorm or watching him showing off his skills in that WAP dance in public. It's time for Jamil to go on a long, long trip and never come back until Kalim graduates from this school.

Jamil Viper

Listens to WAP once, is going to spend the rest of his life pretending that he has never heard or watched it. The most ironic part about it is how he watches the music video instead of just listening to the song and...the snakes. Good lord the snakes- He isn't sure if he likes snakes anymore.

The snakes part seriously traumatizes him but not like Kalim does when he asks Jamil to learn him the WAP dance. And heck no Jamil isn't going to learn him how to dance like a wh*re. At this point, he decides to deny WAP's whole existence.

Kalim: At least tell me what a WAP is!

Jamil:

Jamil: Worship and prayer.

Vil Schoenheit

Hasn't listened to WAP and refuses to do so. He's got standards.

Rook Hunt

"Bravo!!! These Mademoiselles have taken the art of music to a whole nother level! Beaute! 100 points! 💯" (...what else did you expect him to say?)

Just as always, no one can really tell if Rook really liked it or not but from the way he acts he seems to be... intrigued. Apparently WAP starts to get too famous in school and Rook would always be the first one to find out if a student is secretly listening to WAP in public, so he doesn't mind popping up and reminding the students not to listen to such a potentially stimulating song so carelessly: "Monsieur (x), it's adorable to see you appreciating such a glorious piece of art in this lovely day, but I don't think that all of these students staring at us right now are yet prepared for such a beauty,"

Epel Felmier

He just asked Ace for some music that'll make him sound more badass and Ace gave him the WAP:

Epel listening to WAP be like:😳😶😨😕😭

His face is redder than a tomato after the first 30 seconds of WAP, but Ace tells him that he'd be the bravest human being ever if he takes the urge to listen to this in front of teachers.

Tries to dance to WAP and make a video with it to upload on magicam, but Vil catches him in the middle of process.💀💀💀 The video turned out pretty good though. It looks just like a mother (Ehm- Vil) getting into her child's room (Epel-) and finding them doing some crazy shit.

Idia Shroud

He's the silent and seemingly shy dude who's listening to WAP in the highest volume under those head phones during classes.

Divus Crewel: CaF2(s) + Br2(ℓ) → CaBr2(s) + F2(g)...

Inside Idia's headphones: " ~ Wh*res in this house~ there some wh*res in this house~ there some wh*res in this house~ there some wh*res in this house~"

Bonus: He once forgets to connect his headphones to his tablet before playing WAP:

[Wap is being played at max volume inside Trein's class]

Idia: *Thinks that the sound is coming from his head phones*

The classroom: "Beat it up, n*gga, catch a charge

Extra large and extra hard

Put this p**sy right in your face

Swipe your nose like a credit card"

Trein: 😳

Students: 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

Crowley about to jump down: 🤭

Idia still not realizing what the hell is going on: 'Lucy lucy baby~ hihihi- wait- why they all staring at me now...? Did they hear me internally flirt with Lucius?'

No need to say what happened to Idia after this...

Ortho Shroud

No WAP for him. You may find him reacting to "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands" if you're interested.🗿

Malleus Draconia

Thank goodness he just finds the censored version of WAP... Listens to the whole song, but doesn't understand most of the lyrics. The "Put this cookie right in your face" part confuses him the most, he doesn't get it. Why would you put a cookie in your face? Is this something humans usually to do with their desserts? Like, would they put ice cream in their faces too?

Virgin dragon keeps on asking people, including Lilia, to tell him what it means to put a cookie in one's face, yet no one seems to give him any proper answers ):

Perhaps human music just isn't his thing, he's getting back to sad violin noises which he listens to when he isn't invited.

Lilia Vanrouge

WAP go brrrrrrr. Our sassy grandpa is legit in love with this piece of gold and all of the humans for achieving such a glory. The beat is superb and the lyrics are: Delicious, motivational and creatively written.

Even better, WAP has an unofficial but smexy dance too. Old man Lilia is never too old for performing a sexy physically challenging dance.

You can now hear savage rock sounds combined with WAP playing in the background coming from his room when he's vibing in the afternoon.

(I can totally see him wearing a neko maiden costume while dancing to WAP and you can't tell me otherwise)

Silver

Finds WAP in papa Lilia's playlist...

Silver:

Silver:

Sebek Zigvolt

Sweet mother of love Sebek feels like listening to WAP has taken his virginity away-

He is a good boy, no, he once was a good boy. He's no longer the worthy man he used to be now that this unholy song has tainted his soul.

Legit feels guilty and and sinful after WAP, so you can find him praying for forgiveness to that Malleus portrait in his room every night.

"Oh young master forgive my thoughtless deeds, I beg for your mercy upon me now that I've sinned..."

Dire Crowley

Not saying that a drag Queen Crowley dancing to WAP would be a thing, but a drag Queen Crowley dancing to WAP would be a thing- Everyone bow down to the Headmaster, the most gracious of them all 😩😩😩👌🏻

Please, don't blame him. Birby is under too much of pressure after the very recent overblot cases and he needs a way to let go of the stress😔😔😔

Sam

Is illegally selling copies of the WAP because most of the dorms had blocked access to this song for the students...

"Helloooooo little demons I've got the WAP! In stuck now-"

[bogkeep]

hmmmmmmmmmm maybe i’ll write an Introspective Musing Post about my relationship to religion and their depiction in stories because i’ve pondering about this topic lately

so for those who are reading this and DON’T know what’s been going on...  there’s this webcomic i fell in love with some years ago, about six years actually, that depicts a post-apocalyptic fantasy/horror adventure set in the nordic countries. it had, and has still, some very uncomfortable flaws regarding racial representation, and the creator has historically not dealt very well with criticism towards it. it’s a whole Thing. my relationship with this comic has fluctuated a lot, since there are a lot of elements in it i DO love and i still feel very nostalgic about, and like idk i felt like i trust my skills in critical thinking enough to keep reading. aaand then the creator went a teensy bit off the deep end created a whole minicomic which is like... a lukewarm social media dystopia where christians are oppressed (and also everyone is a cute bunny, including our lord and saviour jesus christ). which is already tonedeaf enough considering there are religious people who DO get prosecuted for their faith, like, that’s an actual reality for a lot of people - but as far as i can tell, usually not christians. and then there’s an afterword that’s like, “anyway i got recently converted and realized i’m a disgusting human being full of sin who doesn’t deserve redemption but jesus loves me so i’ll be fine!! remember to repent for your sins xoxo” and a bunch of other stuff and IT’S KIND OF REALLY CONCERNING i have, uh, been habitually looking at the reactions to and discussions around this, maybe it’s not very self care of me but there’s a lot of overwhelming things rn and it’s fantastically distracting, yknow? like, overall this situation is fairly reminiscent of the whole jkr thing. creator of a series that is Fairly Beloved, does something hurtful, handles backlash in a weird way, a lot of people start taking distance from Beloved Series or find ways to enjoy it on their own terms, creator later reveals to have been fully radicalized and releases a whole manifesto, and any and all criticism gets framed as harassment and proving them right. of course, one of them is a super rich person with a LOT of media power and a topic that is a lot more destructive in our current zeitgeist, and the other is an independent webcomic creator, so it’s  not the same situation. just similar vibez ya feel as a result of this, i have been Thinking. and just this feels like some sort of defeat like god dammit she got me i AM thinking about the topic she wrote about!!! i should dismiss the whole thing!!! but thinking about topics is probably a good thing so hey lets go. me, i’m agnostic. i understand that this is a ‘lazy’ position to take, but it’s what works for me. i simply do not vibe with organized religion, personally. (i had the wikipedia page for ‘chaos magic’ open in a tab for several weeks, if that helps.) i was raised by atheists in a majorly atheist culture. christian atheist, i should specify. norway has been mostly and historically lutheran, and religion has usually been a private and personal thing. it turns out the teacher i had in 7th grade was mormon, but i ONLY found out because he showed up in a tv series discussing religious groups in norway later, and he was honestly one of the best teachers i have ever had - he reignited the whole class’ interest in science, math, and dungeons and dragons. it was a real “wait WHAT” moment for my teenage self. i think i was briefly converted to christianity by my friend when i was like 7, who grew up in a christian family (i visited them a couple times and always forgot they do prayers before dinner. oops!), but like, she ALSO made me believe she was the guardian of a secret magic orb that controls the entire world and if i told anybody the world would burn down in 3 seconds. i only suspected something was off when one day the Orb ran on batteries, and another day the Orb had to be plugged in to charge. in my defense i really wanted to be part of a cool fantasy plot. i had no idea how to be a christian beyond “uuuuh believe in god i guess” so it just faded away on its own. when i met this friend several years later, she was no longer christian. i think every childhood friend of mine who grew up in a christian family, was no longer christian when they grew up. most notably my closest internet friend whose family was catholic - she had several siblings, and each of them took a wildly different path, from hippie treehugger to laveyan satanist or something in that area. (i joined them for a sermon in a church when they visited my town. my phone went off during it because i had forgotten to silence it. oops!) ((i also really liked their mother’s interpretation of purgatory. she explained it as a bath, not fire. i like that.)) i have never had any personal negative experiences with christianity, despite being openly queer/gay/trans. the only time someone has directly told me i’m going to hell was some guy who saw me wearing a hoodie on norway’s constitution day. yeah i still remember that you bastard i’ve sworn to be spiteful about it till the day i die!! i’ve actually had much more insufferable interactions with the obnoxious kind of atheists - like yes yes i agree with you on a lot but that doesn’t diminish your ability to be an absolute hypocrite, it turns out? i remember going to see the movie ‘noah’ with a friend who had recently discovered reddit atheism and it was just really exhausting to discuss it with her. one of these Obnoxious Atheists is my Own Mother. which is a little strange, honestly, because she LOVES visiting churches for the Aesthetic and Architecture. we cannot go anywhere without having to stop by a pretty church to Admire and Explore. I’VE BEEN IN SO MANY CHURCHES FOR AN ATHEIST RAISED NON-CHRISTIAN. i’ve been to the vatican TWICE (i genuinely don’t even know how much of my extended family is christian. up north in the tiny village i come from, i believe my uncle is the churchkeeper, and it’s the only building in the area that did not get burnt down by the the nazis during ww2 - mostly because soldiers needed a place to sleep. still don’t know whether or not said uncle believes or not, because hey, it’s Personal) i think my biggest personal relationship to religion, and christianity specifically, has been academic. yeah, we learned a brief synopsis of world religions at school (and i remember the class used to be called ‘christianity, religion, and ethics’ and got changed to ‘religion, beliefs, and ethics’ which is cool. it was probably a big discourse but i was a teen who didnt care), but also my bachelor degree is in art history, specifically western art history because it’s a vast sprawling topic and they had to distill it as best they could SIGHS. western art history is deeply entangled with the history of the church, and i think the most i’ve ever learnt about christianity is through these classes (one of my professors wrote an article about how jesus can be interpreted as queer which i Deeply Appreciate). i also specifically tried to diversify my academic input by picking classes such as ‘depiction of muslims and jewish people in western medieval art’ and ‘art and religion’ when i was an exchange student in canada, along with 101 classes in anthropology and archaeology. because i think human diversity and culture is very cool and i want to absorb that knowledge as best as i can. i think my exchange semester in canada was the most religiously diverse space have ever been in, to be honest. now as an adult i have more christian friends again, but friends who chose it for themselves, and who practice in ways that sound good and healthy, like a place of solace and community for them. the vast majority of my friends are queer too, yknow?? i’ve known too many people who have seen these identities as fated opposites, but they aren’t, they’re just parts of who people are. it’s like... i genuinely love people having their faiths and beliefs so much. i love people finding that space where they belong and feel safe in. i love people having communities and heritages and connections. i deeply respect and admire opening up that space for faith within any other communities, like... if i’m going to listen to a podcast about scepticism and cults, i am not going to listen to it if it’s just an excuse to bash religion. i think the search for truth needs to be compassionate, always. you can acknowledge that crystals are cool and make people happy AND that multi level marketing schemes are deeply harmful and prey on people in vulnerable situaitons. YOU KNOW???? so now’s when i bring up Apocalypse Comic again. one of the things i really did like about it was, ironically, how it handled religion. in its setting, people have returned to old gods, and their magic drew power from their religion. characters from different regions had different beliefs and sources. in the first arc, they meet the spirit of a lutheran pastor, who ends up helping them with her powers. it was treated as, in the creators own words, ‘just another mythology’. and honestly? i love that. it was one of the nicest depictions i’ve seen of christianity in fiction, and as something that could coexist with other faiths. I Vibe With That. and then, uh, then... bunny dystopia comic. it just... it just straight up tells you christianity is literally the only way to..?? be a good person??? i guess?? i’m still kind of struggling to parse what exactly it wanted to say. the evil social media overlord bird tells you the bible makes you a DANGEROUS FREETHINKER, but the comic also treats rewriting the bible or finding your own way to faith as something,, Bad. The Bible Must Remain Unsullied. Never Criticize The Bible. also, doing good things just for social media clout is bad and selfish. you should do good things so you don’t burn in hell instead. is that the message? it reads a lot like the comic creator already had the idea for the comic, but only got the urge to make it after she was converted and needed to spread the good word. you do you i guess!! i understand that she’s new to this and probably Going Through Something, and this is just a step on her journey. but the absolute self-loathing she described in her afterword... it does not sound good. i’m just some agnostic kid so what do i know, but i do not think that kind of self-flagellating is a kind faith to have for yourself. i might not ever have been properly religious, but you know what i AM familiar with? a brain wired for ocd and intrusive thoughts. for a lot of my life i’ve struggled with my own kind of purity complex. i’ve had this really strange sensitivity for things that felt ‘tainted’. i’ve experienced having to remove more and more words from my vocabulary because they were Bad and i did not want to sully my sentences. it stacked, too - if a word turned out to be an euphemism for something, i could never feel comfortable saying it again. i still struggle a bit with these things, but i have confronted these things within myself. i’ve had to make myself comfortable with imperfection and ‘tainted’ things and accept that these are just, arbitrary categories my mind made up. maybe that’s the reason i can’t do organized religion even if i found one that fit for me - just like diets can trigger disordered eating, i think it would carve some bad brainpaths for me. so yeah i’m worried i guess! i’m worried when people think it’s so good that she finally found the correct faith even if it’s causing all this self-hate. is there really not a better way? or are they just trusting she’ll find it? and yeah it’s none of my concern, it’s like, i worry for jkr too but i do not want her within miles of my trans self thANKS. so like, i DO enjoy media that explores faith and what it means for you. my favourite band is the oh hellos, which DOES draw on faith and the songwriter’s experience with it. because of my religious iliteracy most of it has flown over my head for years and i’m like “oh hey this is gay” and then only later realize it was about god all along Probably. i like what they’ve done with the place. also, stormlight archive - i had NO idea sanderson was mormon, the way he writes his characters, many of whom actively discuss religion and their relationship to it. i love that about the books, honestly. Media That Explores Religion In A Complex And Compassionate Way... we like that i’ve been thinking about my own stories too, and how i might want to explore faith in them. most of my settings are based on magic and it’s like, what role does religion have in a world where gods are real and makes u magic. in sparrow spellcaster’s story, xe creates? summons? an old god - brings them to life out of the idea of them. it’s a story about hubris, mostly. then there’s iphimery, the story where i am actively fleshing out a pantheon. there’s no doubt the gods are real in the fantasy version of iphimery, they are the source of magic and sustain themselves on slivers of humanity in exchange. but in the modern version, where they are mostly forgotten? that’s some room for me to explore, i think. especially the character of timian, who comes from a smaller town and moves to a large and diverse city. in the fantasy story, the guardian deity chooses his sister as a vessel. in the modern setting, that does not happen, and i don’t yet know what does, but i really want timian to be someone who struggles with his identity - his faith, his sexuality, the expectations cast upon him by his hometown... i’m sure it’s a cliché story retold through a million gay characters but i want to do it too okay. i want to see him carve out his own way of existing within the world because i care him and want to see him thrive!!! alrighty i THINK that’s all i wanted to write. thanks if you read all of this, and if you didn’t that’s super cool have a nice day !

[unforth]

Hello unforth! Thank you for your wonderful blog, and the the untamed art blog!! I followed you years ago for destiel, and you were one of the people that got me into the untamed. I watched it last summer and have been binging various cdramas ever since!! I had a question for you about reading. After watching the untamed I read the novel, and didn’t enjoy it as much as I thought I would. I think you’re someone who prefers the show, but if not, sorry if I’m remembering wrong… hoping you understand. I want to try reading other novels but I found the romance in mdzs to be kinda off. I guess I’m wondering if you have a recommendation for the best novel you’ve read so far? It would be great if it’s one with fanfic but if not I’m still curious to try! I hope this didn’t come off as rude about the untamed, it’s just a personal preference. Thanks in advance, and thanks again for all your work in fandom!

Howdy! *waves*

You have not misremembered, I definitely prefer the Untamed to the novel of MDZS (and I'm with you, no shade on people with different preferences, of course!). I also didn't enjoy the novel of MDZS as much as I thought I would, though I think some of that was because I read the Exiled Rebels Scanalations translation which - again, no shade, translating that was a HUGE job and kudos to them - but I do here from native speakers that some questionable translation choices were made, which can detract from some people's enjoyment of the novel (and can enhance other people's, it just depends how those translation choices relate to each person's personal likes and dislikes).

Now, I can tell you what I've read and what I've thought of each one, happily - I don't know what turned you off about MDZS specifically, beyond an aspect of the relationship dynamic, so it'll be hard for me to say which of these might appeal to you more? But, here's a list of which danmei novels I've read, and my opinion. The list is shorter than you'd think - danmei novels are long and I read slow, lol.

Note that all of these end happy, for various definitions of "happy," and the main ship is canon in all of them. Also note that I tried to avoid spoilers, but sometimes it's hard to even talk about the ship dynamic without some mild spoilers.

These are (roughly) in the order I've read them; I just finished the last a few days ago. All art is by the official artists, but I'm not always sure what their names are, sorry - I've tried to figure them out for my art blogs but it's REALLY hard.

1. Mo Dao Zu Shi, by MXTX.

(since I'm writing this post for you, and you're already familiar with it, I'm not putting in TW and plot)

My take: I figure knowing my opinion of MDZS will help you assess all this? There are things I loved about MDZS, including the book, but MDZS is still obviously trying to figure out pacing. Whereas in SVSSS, the storyline doesn't always flow that smoothly and the ending is rushed, in MDZS in my opinion the biggest issue is that she clearly didn't plan some things ahead. For example, Miangmian and Wen Ning are both introduced within a few pages of when they'll be needed to Do Shit. It shows that she hadn't quite worked everything out as she was going, and every once in a while was like, "shit shit I need a character for this thing" and hastily added them. The plot itself is better paced, though, though I could have wished for a less talky denouement. When it was the only one I read, I also often thought, "this author doesn't understand consent," and, "this author has kinks I don't share." Now that I've read all three of her books, I completely retract the first one. MXTX absolutely understands consent, and was intentionally playing with it in MDZS. Not sure if the evidence of that got lost in translation, or what, but...yeah.

Relationship Dynamic: ...the second of those opinions, I still kinda feel. The consensual non-con is just not really my thing, like I'm okay with it in small doses? And I don't love some aspects of Lan Wangji's domineering attitudes and Wei Wuxian's act of bare tolerating it. And don't get me wrong, now that I'm more familiar with her work, I think it was an intentional writing choice and I also think they're both largely roleplaying it a lot of the time...but I still don't personally enjoy it much.

2. Scum Villain Self-Saving System, by MXTX.

Genre: modern transmigration into a fantasy xianxia world.

Where to find it: English translation by BC Novels | donghua season 1

Trigger warnings for: graphic descriptions of suffering, non-con of the "fuck or die" variety, and body horror...I can't think of anything else rn?)

Plot: SVSSS is MXTX's first novel, and is a satire of classic stag harem novels. Shen Yuan, the protagonist and half the main ship, is reading a serialized web novel by "Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky" about a demon named Luo Binghe who has a harem of over 3,000 women and has done all kinds of ghastly awful things. He hates this novel but has read all, like, 3 million words of it or something, and trolls every chapter...until one gets him so angry that he dies...and then he wakes up in the book right around when the book starts, in the body of one of the early antagonists, a cultivator named Shen Qingqiu who abuses a young, innocent Luo Binghe physically and emotionally and, ultimately, is horribly tortured to death. Shen Yuan, in Shen Qingqiu's body, thus sets out to not be horribly tortured to death by Luo Binghe. Hijinks ensue.

My Take: In terms of my opinion of it...SVSSS secured for me that MXTX is a much more brilliant author than I thought when I'd only read MDZS. She understands tropes and subverts them brilliantly throughout the story, and from a writing standpoint, I was impressed with her. However, from a plot standpoint...she's got all the ideas but hasn't, imo, yet figured out how exactly to bring them all together. The pacing is off at times, and the ending felt abrupt to me. It's also the only danmei I've read where I ship a side ship more than the primary one (which is, of course, Shen Yuan (as Shen Qingqiu)/Luo Binghe. (also, oops...I read SVSSS after TGCF and just put them in the wrong order, oh well, not gonna change it now.)

Relationship Dynamic: In terms of relationship weirdness...it's hard to sort in that regard, because, like, it's supposed to be weird? I think it's a really interest book but I'm not sure I'd recommend it in your situation. Bingqiu's main dynamic is...uh...tolerance and obsession? They're kinda hard to describe. Shen Yuan often seems like he's just kinda putting up with Luo Binghe, whereas Luo Binghe is...god. So hard to describe, lmao. He's a big clumsy ox in a museum full of porcelain dishes and he really, really loves his Shizun. (also note that Shen Qingqiu is Luo Binghe's teacher. They don't get together until after they're not master/student, but if that's not your thing, another reason to avoid.)

3. Tian Guan Ci Fu, by MXTX.

(art is by Starember)

Genre: historical China (loosely), xianxia (note that I'm still figuring out exactly how stuff gets classified so sorry if I get one wrong, but I think I kinda get it???)

Where to Access It: English Translation by the astonishing yummysuika | manhua (this is an official translation by Bilibili! It's a few chapters behind the actual release, but still...) | donghua season 1 is on Netflix | a live action adaptation is juuuuust getting started on script reading and filing

Trigger warnings for: MCD, temporary MCD, body horror, graphic violence, epic levels of mind fuckery, uh...genocide?...again, racism/colorism, probably other stuff, sorry, I can't take as long as I'd like to for this post so I'm not being as thorough as I oughta be.

Plot: TGCF is about Xie Lian, an 800 year old man, and it commences at the moment when, unexpectedly, he ascends to godhood...for the third time. Unfortunately, when he ascends, he accidentally does some damage in Heaven, and he has to repay that, so he gets sent back to earth to deal with a ghost who's been causing some problems. Hijinks ensue...and then fucktons of angst ensue...then more hijinks...then more angst...and basically it broke my heart like four times and I am grateful for it every day? The main ship is Xie Lian and a ghost named Hua Cheng, but it's hard to even talk about without some spoilers because of some identity shenanigans. (they're VERY mildly identity shenanigans, but still).

My Take: So, you asked what my favorite of the danmei novels I've read is? It's TGCF. TGCF is one of my favorite novels ever, and it has a growing fandom, a donghua that's on Netflix, and a live action that's just starting to film. TGCF is the culmination of the skills MXTX developed through her first two works, imo. She clearly plotted it out all from the start, and while Book 1 especially often seems kind of random - lots of elements are introduced and then kinda...apparently...forgotten? And never explained? But she actually DOES bring it ALL together and it's flat-out masterful. I'm a big fan, obviously.

Relationship Dynamic: it again depends on your preferences and what you didn't like about MDZS, and there's no way to talk about it without spoilers, so consider yourselves warned. Xie Lian ascended to godhood first at the age of 17, and right around then he also saved the life of a 10 year old boy...and that boy is Hua Cheng. Hua Cheng is a follower of Xie Lian's, in that Xie Lian is literally a god, and Hua Cheng is literally one of his followers. However, they're separated for almost 800 years, so the age difference is largely irrelevant, and while some people complain about Hua Cheng's behavior being stalkery and obsessive, I honestly think they're dead wrong. It's more like when you read a celebrity/fan AU, and it starts weird, and then they really genuinely fall in love. Like, the fan may have been in love the whole time, and how they felt about the celebrity before they really met might feel slightly ooky, but it's how they act AFTER they meet their idol that matters more, and...yeah, Hua Cheng is great, they're both great, antis fight me. Xie Lian is easily one of my favorite characters EVER, he is all my favorite tropes in one horribly, wonderfully fucked up martyristic idealistic sweet kind laid back package. I would kill for him, lmao. In terms of their relationship dynamic...they love and respect each other? There's really nothing that weird about it other than the aspects of the "fan" Hua Cheng that get revealed over time - and he's always terrified that when Xie Lian realizes what a fanboy he was, Xie Lian will be upset or disgusted, but of course Xie Lian never is. They adore each other. It's glorious. Highly recommend. :D There's also no explicit content in TGCF (unlike MXTX's other two books).

4. The Husky and His White Cat Shizun (aka 2ha) by Meatbun Doesn't Eat Meat.

Genre: original world, xianxia, time travel, dimension hopping, it's so many things, 2ha is so hard to describe lmao

Where to Access it: English Translation by the amazing yummysuika (things are complicated, though, and it's not finished) | a manhua is in the works and should be out this year | a live action called "Hao Yixing" or "Immortality" is already filmed and could theoretically air literally any time cause it's completely ready, but when will it actually come? Who knows!

Trigger warnings: all of them. Literally. MCD, temporary MCD, murder, suicide, suicidal ideation, suicide attempt, rape/non-con, abuse, manipulation, gas lighting, torture, graphic violence, body horror, literal graphic onscreen horrible blood murder of a small child (I had to skip that chapter), teacher/student relationship sort of but not exactly, probably other stuff, this book is dark as fuck, and a lot of these tags apply to behavior of one half of the main ship toward the other, but...it's complicated, and there are reasons things happen, and those reasons aren't "well they're just a bad person."

Plot: This is another one that's hard to describe because there's sooooo much mind fuckery going on, but I'll try. 2ha is about Mo Ran, who rises to be the Emperor of the World, Taxian Jun, but slaughtering all who oppose him...and who is so miserable that he commits suicide, only to wake up in his 16 year old body. This is pretty much perfect from Mo Ran's point of view, because he's gone back so far that the love of his life, his fellow disciple Shi Mei, is still alive. He has a chance to fix everything that went wrong, starting with preventing his awful evil Shizun, Chu Wanning, from letting Shi Mei die.

Spoilers: the main ship in this book is Mo Ran/Chu Wanning.

Hijinks do NOT ensue. There are no hijinks in 2ha. It is all pain all the time (but I swear it ends happy).

My Take: ...well, from a structural standpoint there are some pacing issues. The book is incredibly long (over 300 chapters, over 1 million words) and there are definitely some chunks that could just be excised and it'd still be fine. However, other than that, it's pretty amazing and absolutely masterful how it's plotted. As a reader you'll spend 100+ chapters thinking you know what's going on, and who the good guys are, and who the bad guys are, and how they relate to each other...and then Meatbun starts in on revealing what's ACTUALLY going on and she then spends 200 chapters repeatedly punching you in the face! Like, I went in knowing a LOT of spoilers, because the tags were so dark that I felt that for my mental health it was important I have a general idea what was going on, and I STILL ended up sobbing my eyes out (and I am NOT an easy crier and don't usually cry at books) over something I knew was coming.

Relationship Dynamic: That's about the only thing that the title accurately conveys about this book. "The Husky and His White Cat Shizun," sounds so soft and fluffy, right? That's how they get you, ha. But, Mo Ran is absolutely a big dumb husky who wants to do the right thing (well, sometimes he does) but just completely fails depressingly often. When he sees someone he likes come in the front door he WILL jump all over them and bark in their face as his way of trying to communicate affection. And Chu Wanning is equally absolutely a cat. He is emotionally constipated, poor at expressing himself, uptight, touch starved, desperate for affection, and so lonely my chest hurts when I think about him. And for how they relate to each other...well, picture that big dog greeting a loved one at the door...except that loved one is the most hide-bound proud white cat you can imagine.

That's their dynamic.

(However, also...there are multiple timelines at play, and Taxian Jun does some truly awful things to "his" Chu Wanning in the original timeline, and many of these things are graphically described, and while it's ultimately all explained, it still all HAPPENS, so if you're going to have trouble reading fucktons of abuse between the main ship, I would not recommend this book)

5. Thousand Autumns (Qianqiu) by Meng Xi Shi.

Genre: historical China (like, references actual people, as far as I can tell), xianxia

Where to Access it: ...reading Thousand Autumns is HARD, it's split over like four websites/translators. This Carrd can kinda help? I can get you the rest if you want | donghua season 1 | I heard there's a live action in the works? But I don't know more than that.

Trigger warnings: graphic violence, mentions/threats of sexual violence (but it's all stopped before things really go wrong), starvation, description of child death (from starvation), near-death, emotional/mental abuse, major semi-permanent character injury, god, minor character death, they're major characters depending on your pov, I can't actually think of others, after writing about 2ha it feels positively fluffy). Note that there's not really any explicit content, just implications of smut, and not til basically the very end and extras.

Plot: Yan Wushi, sect leader of a demonic sect, has just come out of an extended seclusion to improve his cultivation when he and one of his disciples come across a man who is wounded to the point of near death. This turns out to be Shen Qiao, the sect leader of Mount Xuandu. When Shen Qiao awakens from his wounds, he's lost his memory, AND he's blind, and Yan Wushi decides it would be great fun and an excellent use of his time to fuck with Shen Qiao by trying to turn him evil - because Yan Wushi is certain that ALL people are inherently evil, and shattering Shen Qiao's veneer of righteousness will just help prove that.

Spoilers: it's not a veneer.

Not spoilers: Not many hijinks ensue, but there are a few hijinks, and even when it's not hijinxed, it's still not that painful...usually.

My Take: despite that synopsis, a lot of the plot of Thousand Autumns is actually political, and I like political plots, so I liked that aspect of it. However, it has some serious pacing issues imo, and it's also hard to read in English atm because it's not fully translated; it's close, now, much closer than when I read it a few months ago, so it'll be easier to read soon. Or maybe I shouldn't say it's pacing problems, but rather, it's more of a sequence of multiple major plots, strung together, with the growing relationship between Yan Wushi and Shen Qiao playing out in the background. I think if I'd known there was no "one big plot" that would have actually helped me, because it kept feeling like, "Oh, THIS is the main thing," but it never was. Things would feel climactic...except then there'd be more. So it's probably better to actually think of it as more...episodic? And the episodes/stories build, and interrelate, and do have a culmination, but not all of them directly tie in, and not all the threads end up coming together/getting resolved.

Relationship Dynamic: early on, Yan Wushi is definitely abusive and manipulative, intentionally so, and I would argue that, imo, Shen Qiao falls for it. However, mid-way through, there's some big reveals, and after that when they're reunited Shen Qiao no longer takes any shit and Yan Wushi continues to act like he doesn't care even when he clearly does. They're not a typical ship in ANY WAY, and I'd say their relationship is more founded on mutual respect than on love. Indeed, in the author's notes at one point MXS actually says they doesn't see them as the kind of couple to ever exchange love declarations, and I thought that was really interesting and it really helped me to understand how they worked together because I'll own I struggled with at times. Yan Wushi is self-interested, often cruel, and ethically and morally dubious. Shen Qiao, on the other hand, could probably ascend to Daoist godhood, he's so pure. Yet...they DO work. I'd say "opposites attract" but that's ALSO not their main trope, not exactly. They're a VERY hard ship to explain, and I know some people who've read the whole book and still don't really...get them...and I've had to really think about them to wrap my head around them...but the more I've thought about them, the more I like them.

6. Those Years in Quest of Honor Mine by Man Man He Qi Duo.

Genre: historical fiction set in either actual China or make-believe China, I'm not sure if this is directly incorporated any real people

Where to Access It: English Translation by Perpetual Daydreams | manhua (untranslated, I'm not sure if there's anyone translating it into English) | I think there's a live action in the works? Not sure beyond that though.

Trigger Warnings: suicide attempts, suicidal ideation, drug addiction, drug abuse, chronic illness (different character than the drugs), manipulation, abusive, awful parents and parental figures (not all, but definitely some), some homophobia (but way less than there could have been), probably other stuff

Plot: After 7 years away, Zhong Wan returns to the capital of the Empire with the three children of his benefactor, the seven-years-dead Prince Ning. Prince Ning was executed for treason against the previous Emperor, and Zhong Wan has done all he can to protect and raise the three kids, but he's got a lot of worries about returning to the capital and what could happen to his charges if they get pulled into the politics surrounded the Emperor. But, even worse, he's got even more worries about being reunited with Yu She, nephew of the Emperor, with whom he has more than a little history...and about whom he has been lying for the past 7 years, claiming that he is Yu She's lover, in a bid to help use Yu She's reputation to protect Prince Ning's children.

Hijinks ensue.

And so does a political nightmare.

My Take: TYQHM was a hard book to get into because there are just so many characters and it's all about politics - this is NOT a xianxia or wuxia novel, and these characters are NOT cultivators. There's basically nothing supernatural in the whole book; instead, it's about Zhong Wan and Yu She figuring out their own histories, and accepting each other, while trying to survive in a political world that increasingly wants both of them dead. However, I adore political plots, and when all was said and done I really enjoyed it, and I'm trying tooth and nail to claw other people into the fandom with me, so far with basically no success. It only has like 15 works in English on AO3. And so not only does it not fit that requirement of yours...

Relationship Dynamic: ...I think you would also probably not like the relationship dynamic? Zhong Wan is a bit like Wei Wuxian-as-Mo Xuanyu, except more...genuinely? Like, it's his actual personality, not an act, in quite the same way. I don't mean the "flamboyantly gay" part...usually...he definitely has his moments...but he's just...like, he's been through so much that he'll basically say anything, and drag himself entirely through the mud, to distract people who might hurt the three kids (they're like 16, 13, 13, now I think? It was never THAT clear to me, tbh...certainly, all are at least 10...) and, later, Yu She. He has zero face, and doesn't mind having negative face when he feels the situation demands it...and Yu She, on the other hand, has MAJOR depression issues, is sure he deserves nothing, and mostly wants to destroy everyone around him and then kill himself, at least until Zhong Wan starts giving him a reason to live again. But, more than that...Zhong Wan is like the fucking epitome of a bratty subby bottom. He wants to get fucked SO bad. And Yu She is an incredibly reluctant dom, hilariously so at times, uncomfortably/manipulative so at others. When all was said and done, I was pretty fond of them both, but there were definitely moments that made me grimace, and given what you say of how you felt about MDZS, I think this one is less likely to be to your taste?

Bonus 7: Guardian by Priest. I never finished the novel version of Guardian because the translation had some issues that caused me not to enjoy it, so I won't get into it too much, but again, Guardian is a very different book than any of the others, because it's modern fantasy(ish, like, it's still deeply embedded in Daoist-related tropes but it's more "magic spells" and less "cultivation." Like, in terms of what it's like, it felt more like Japanese modern Onmyoji style stories, to me, than it felt like the ancient Chinese wuxia/xianxia cultivation stories.). I'm not gonna get into lots of details, because I read part of the book more than a year ago, and have seen the show (which is VERY different) like three times, so I can hardly even remember what they're like in the novel. There was definitely some weirdness, though? If you're potentially interested, I'd suggest starting with the drama instead. The plot for that is...

Plot: Zhao Yunlan heads a Special Investigation Unit in the human world tasked with maintaining a treaty between humans and the dixigren ("undergrounders") who are (in the show) aliens (in the book...it's the world of the dead). While doing this job, he keeps running into this professor, Shen Wei, who definitely knows more than he oughta.

Hijinks ensue.

And then it murders you with feels.

The live action streams from YouTube - here.

(Warning: uh, I don't want to give spoilers, but my "guaranteed happy ending" does NOT apply to the Guardian TV show...but it does apply to the book, as I understand it.)

*

Anyway, this was a terrible use of my time but it was definitely more fun than what I should be doing, and it's probably way more information than you wanted or needed, but since I wasn't sure what exactly you had in mind, I figured...might as well be thorough?

(Today's hyper-focus fail: this post, ha...)

[theatricalities]

⧼   A mask of perfect innocence hiding the machiavellian intentions forever lurking beneath the surface — the ace up your sleeve, the trick coin with one side weighing heavier than its opposite because chance is simply a game that’s far too risky for the likes of you; the claw marks left on absolutely anything and everything in your wake — it’s not desperation that makes you cling so fervently to the objects of your desire as much as it’s your own way of ensuring survival; the self-imposed solitude clouding your ocean eyes  — questions of identity and belonging are forever at the heels of your every decision, begging you to turn back before it’s too late.   ⧽ 

  ━━   hey, isn’t that ZEPHYRINE TRAVERS ? i read a daily prophet article on them, once ; the 24 year old part-Veela WITCH is a SLYTHERIN alumnus who has gone on to be an ACTRESS IN THE WIXEN WORLD. i’ve heard they can be quite AUDACIOUS & BEGUILING, but i don’t know…they came off very EXPLOITATIVE and DELUSIVE in that interview. it really is hard to know what to believe these days though, isn’t it?

(  takes a hiatus...comes back with a new character  )

Heya ghouls, gals, and nonbinary pals! It’s me, ya girl. Zephyrine is my second little child to enter the group and I’m real wild about her! She’s inspired by DE idea #17 which you can find listed here!  Obviously, Zeph is an OC, but her tie to canon is that she’s the daughter of Travers, the Death Eater who killed Marlene McKinnon and family. Also, because I just don’t know how to write contented characters, Zeph’s a bit of a wreck, too — has some daddy issues, wants more than the world can offer, doesn’t have a true sense of self...but she’s got great fashion !

Below is Zephyrine’s bio and general information. Wanted connections can be found here ( very under construction rn ) and they’ll be updated as play progresses! Please feel free to pm me here or on discord ( debaucherie#6347 ) if you’d like to plot ✿

BEFORE THE WAR — “ Everyone wants something...”

[ trigger warnings for death, murder; ]

On the night that marked Zephyrine Travers’ birth, the world in return exalted her upon arrival, singing the praises of the newborn babe as boldly as a songbird in spring.

Or — that was the tale upon which her mother raised her, and it was one the girl found fitting enough to believe, even if all the world around spoke to the contrary. After all, her father (whose only claim to the term was in the scientific sense alone) created so empty a home that such fantastical ideas were perhaps the only source of hope that the young girl could find. At the age of two, Zephyrine and her family were quietly removed from their ancestral home as her father was sentenced to Azkaban for the murder of Marlene McKinnon. She and her mother were stripped of all riches, no matter the fact that the young girl continued the bloodline of one of the Sacred Twenty-Eight. 

And so, life continued on in this way, with little yarns of fantasy spun each and every night in the dreariness of their one-room hovel, spoken in assuring whispers as they cooked by candlelight or repaired a worn and weathered dress when there was no money to replace it instead. Despite the woe-be-gone skirts and helpless shoes, she was determined that no one should know about the unexpected poverty that marked her home life, and walked into the halls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry with every intent on looking the part of the Travers name even if it was in name alone that she remained connected  —  going so far as to insist to the Sorting Hat that she was meant to be in Slytherin, as her family had been for centuries, even when it argued she was better suited to Ravenclaw instead. 

In many ways, her adolescence was a long, drawn-out course in the art of convincing others — she could manifest a stream of tears to reassure a fellow Slytherin that she truly felt for her father just as easily as she could feign prolonged wooziness to avoid Flying class for a week. She flashed her blessedly charming smile across the House tables in the Great Hall, befriended everyone and anyone while still keeping them at arm’s length, and convinced even the most doubtful that she was an invaluable creature — not because of her name or the weight it still carried in certain circles, but because she believed herself to be and would not rest until it was an undeniable, unequivocal truth.

At sixteen, however, the meager world she’d known her whole life shattered entirely, its fragments not pieced together with the loving touch of her mother, but instead the fearsome presence of her father, who broke out of Azkaban along with ten other Death Eaters, including Bellatrix Lestrange. Unsurprisingly, he was asked by Lord Voldemort to prove his loyalty, and continued his murderous warpath — but instead of getting caught this time, he ensured that another would take his place. Zephyrine’s mother, innocent as a dove, was framed for his crimes and swiftly locked up in Azkaban, and Zander Travers was restored all riches seized upon his arrest.

By seventeen, Zephyrine had all the hallmarks of the dreams her mother raised her on : wealth far beyond her dreams, a manor estate fit for royalty and all the accompanying fanfare upon being properly introduced into a society of Death Eaters, but lost her mother in the process to a nightmare come true — the very woman who had instilled in the girl so great a belief in the impossible, that even this seemed like something Zephyrine could undo. 

She now balanced quite a precarious act, appearing to her father as his perfect little Death Eater in training, while turning spy for the Order in exchange for their help in freeing her mother once the War was won. 

AFTER THE WAR. — “...and once you know what they want, you know how to move them.”

When the time came, however, her mother was one of the many forgotten in the shadow of the Order’s triumph, relegated to little more than a broken promise as she rotted in Azkaban along with her husband, once again sentenced for his crimes. Their daughter, however, now took up the mantle of the new head of the Travers family, left with the ruins of her father’s blood-soaked legacy. In a world rebuilding itself, there was no game to be played when each side no longer had a reason to fight — and so, she waited. Seethed, more accurately, and busied herself with cleaning up the Travers name as time passed by. After receiving a formal training with the Wixen Academy of Dramatic Arts, she cemented herself firmly as a darling in the wixen theatre scene. In truth, it was all too easy. For twenty years, she’d practiced different ways to be believed — not to lie, she’d argue to herself, for any of those perceived lapses in truth had simply been her playing a character in order to get what she needed, and the silver-tongued sweetheart she portrayed to the public was no different.  To believe was the notion her mother instilled in her, but to be believed was one she’d determined necessary for herself, even if it meant losing any sense of self in the process. And so, upon hearing word of a reformed Death Eater legion under Bellatrix Lestrange’s leadership, she appealed to their cause, vowing that she could easily become a spy within the group which once held her loyalty — in exchange, once more, for the release* of her mother. Her allegiances, of course, are unknown to the public at large. In fact, when asked by the press on such matters, she voices her support for the Ministry and their efforts at preventing another tragedy to ever mark the Wixen World’s history again. Naturally, it’s all an act, as it has always been, and she’ll keep playing the game for as long as it take to reunite* with her mother, gain the most powerful of allies, and secure her own survival. 

[ * — while i’d love to believe that zeph’s mom is still alive, i think mrs. travers is likely to have perished rather soon after being wrongfully imprisoned. however, i believe that this information was kept from zeph as a way of controlling her, first by her father, then perhaps by the order ( i’d have to actually plot this one out w/an order member for this to be true ), but certainly by bellatrix and the DE clan. ]

BASICS.

FULL NAME:  Zephyrine Travers NAME MEANING: Zephyrine is of French origin and means ‘west wind’ ; Travers is of English origin and means ‘to cross’  NICKNAME(S):  Zeph ( used by family and close friends, only ) GENDER IDENTITY: Demigirl DATE OF BIRTH: 29 October, 1995 ( i put the wrong age in my app bc maths are not my strong suit, so technically Zeph is 24 but will turn 25 soon ) BIRTHPLACE:  Travers Estate, Hampshire, England  CURRENT PLACE OF DWELLING:  London, England  SEXUAL ORIENTATION:  pansexual panromantic LANGUAGE(S): English, French, basic Latin

LIFE.

OCCUPATION: Actress  EDUCATION: Homeschooled from ages 4 to 11; attended Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry from ages 11 to 18; attended the Wixen Academy of Dramatic Arts from ages 19 to 21. SOCIOECONOMIC LEVEL ( GROWING UP ):  Born upper class, but lower middle class from ages 2 - 16, upper class ages 16 - onward. SOCIOECONOMIC LEVEL ( CURRENTLY ): Upper class. RELIGION: Atheist

MAGICAL.

BLOOD TYPE: Not quite pureblood — but, publicly pureblood  SPECIES: 1/4 Veela  WAND TYPE: Hawthorn, unicorn hair core, 13″, reasonably supple SKILL LEVEL: Reasonably proficient, but a distinct knack for transfiguration and healing magic. Is adept at DADA, but often flees from the scene of battle before needing to utilize curses, jinxes, etc. PATRONUS: Incapable of producing a corporeal Patronus, but if she could, it would take the form of a shrike. BOGGART: Herself — albeit, a different, unrecognizable version of herself. In all her lying and betraying and such, Zeph has lost sense of herself and just doesn’t know the depths she might go to in order to get what she wants — and so I think it’s very possible that her biggest fear is the worst possible version of herself, the one that resembles her father in his uncaring bloodlust, messy and indiscriminate and entirely lacking in the nuance she prides herself on. AMORTENTIA: Fresh popcorn, the collar of a well-worn leather jacket, the scent of a newspaper so fresh the ink smudges one’s fingertips MIRROR OF ERISED: TBD. HOGWARTS HOUSE: Slytherin ( the Sorting Hat debated for approximately nine minutes between Ravenclaw and Slytherin, but ultimately decided on Slytherin because Zephyrine asked it to. ) FAVORITE SUBJECT:  Transfiguration. LEAST FAVORITE SUBJECT:  Arithmancy. CLUBS / EXTRACURRICULARS: The Slug Club ( Year 7 ), Theatre Club ( Years 2 - 7 ), Keres Club ( ages 22 - present )

RELATIONS.

PARENT(S): Zander & Odette ( nee Lynd ) Travers SIBLING(S): Two older sisters, both deceased, from her father’s first marriage, and a younger sibling born one-two years after her from her father’s affair. SIGNIFICANT OTHER(S): tbd. EX SIGNIFICANT OTHER(S): tbd. CHILDREN:  none. PET(S):  Two cats, Beryl and Belinda. 

PHYSICAL.

HEIGHT: 5′7″ HAIR: silver-blonde EYES: blue BODY MODIFICATION(S): Three piercings in either ear. Despite Bellatrix’s insistence, she has staved off getting the Dark Mark under the guise that it would harm her status as an actress. In truth, she simply would hate to get something so permanent when her loyalties are rather, well, impermanent. NOTABLE SCARS / BIRTHMARKS:  No scars / noticeable birthmarks. A scattering of freckles. GLASSES / CONTACTS: Only when required for an acting role, but not usually needed. CLOTHING STYLE: Quite a soft, ‘feminine’ style — lace, ribbons, ruffles, pastels — but there’s always one or two little things hinting at something decidedly more aggressive ( platinum collar-tips pointed and sharpened, metallic makeup, earrings in the design of tiny daggers, black lace gloves hiding perfectly manicured claws ) ; zephyrine also wears her mother’s choker, which is platinum-plated and has a handshake as a clasp. DOMINANT HAND: Ambidextrous

PERSONALITY.

ZODIAC: Scorpio ( sun ) — observant, expressive, secretive, vengeful, enigmatic // Gemini ascendant, Capricorn moon PERSONALITY TYPE: ENTJ, The Commander — confident, charismatic, strategic, ruthless, stubborn, emotionally naive MORAL ALIGNMENT:  Neutral Evil TEMPERAMENT: Phlegmatic  ELEMENT:  Water VICE(S): Wrath VIRTUE(S):  Diligence CHARACTER PARALLELS: Dahlia Hawthorne ( Ace Attorney ), Amy March ( Little Women ), Margaery Tyrell ( ASOIAF ), Vesper Lynd ( James Bond ), Eva Perón ( history / ‘EVITA’ the musical & film )

[caden]

Honestly thank you for saying that. I also don't hate Travis but can't stand the way he goes about proving his "wokeness" he's obviously good natured but his approach is just so off and it's awkward when listening to the other brothers try to swerve around it, being more self aware than he is. I can't listen to the new Adventure Zone arc because her went out of his way to create a disable character and then be like "are you gonna ask me about my wheelchair" it's just too fucking much dude.

This is a super long rant-y response that doesn’t really say much of consequence, but...

yeah i have not enjoyed his arc so far sadly. I’m still going ahead with it for the time being, it’s worth listening to but honestly TAZ hasn’t gripped me all that much since balance. I feel like one of their issues is that balance really really tactically built up to its big emotional dramatic moments, everything felt really natural and just flowed so well-- whereas with these other arcs, I feel like they just jump the gun and try to constantly have dramatic stuff happening without ***earning*** it. The nature of most roleplaying games is just that they’re long form, and IMO the most important element of nailing a podcast like TAZ is making sure that the downtime is really enjoyable-- that means having really charismatic side characters, engaging and open-ended worldbuilding that allows for lots of different situations, and PCs that have clear and interesting motivations. Travis just isn’t a good enough DM to pull that all off. He’s decent at roleplaying IMO, but his personality / skills are just better suited to being a player. He clearly isn’t as good a storyteller as griffin, and even griffin’s storytelling has been strained from time to time. 

I honestly really really really wish that they would play a more Critical Role / MCDM style DnD game, where the worldbuilding took front-stage over the characters, and where it was assumed that the main players would cycle through MULTIPLE characters because their characters could actually die if it was dramatic-- or even just if the players fucked up in combat. I’d love to feel like they were in a setting that allowed them to have guest players on, where the world has internal consistency (unlike the live shows which are always fun but clearly not sustainable for a long-form story), and where the whole thing isn’t all built along railroading players down an ultra long-form epic story in the vein of Balance. Like one thing that’s great about DnD for me is that if you don’t currently feel like you’re gelling with the character you’re playing, you can just make a new character! If the quest you’re on isn’t incredibly engaging, you can tell the DM that you want to explore something in your character’s past or independently pursue some other motivation instead. I really wish they would experiment with a more freeform, noncommittal story, where they could lean into their improvisation skills (which is what they’re very good at) over their storytelling skills (where they're sort of lacking). 

I also feel like-- and this is just an unintended byproduct of the general vibe that they’re going for-- one big problem that I notice with their storytelling is that all of their characters are just like... too good. I feel like they’re so committed to being wholesome and non-stressful that everything about their worlds just has no edge at all. I’m not saying that I want TAZ to be game of thrones, obviously that would suck-- but so much of the conflict in their worlds feels awkward or forced because they don’t create their characters to be as flawed as I think they should. Justin usually being the exception. I think this is reaaaalllllly coming to the forefront in the new arc, Travis just isn’t capable of putting the kind of tension into his stories that Griffin was because he’s too committed to making his world crunchy and chill and, dare I say, woke. But I think the wheelchair thing is coming from a different sort of bad storytelling-- writers put a diverse character into their story and then feel so immediately proud of themselves that they forget to actually make the character interesting or memorable beyond that, inadvertently tokenizing the characters. 

Griffin also did something really smart when he was DMing, which was that he intentionally never told us anyone’s race. He explicitly said that it being an audio medium allowed the listener the freedom to imagine whatever race they want, as well as imagine trans-ness, disability, etc. Which, even though it might sound kind of like a cop-out, is IMO the best way to handle it. If they play characters outside of their race, people will be mad. If they don’t have enough diversity, people will be mad. If they have explicit diversity but portray something insensitively, people will be mad. I personally think that griffin would have been smart enough to do these things sensitively, but he’s always erred on the side of caution. The only exception in balance was them explicitly stating that Lup was a trans woman, which was also handled very well IMO. Travis just isn’t taking that level of subtlety to his DMing because he isn’t as perceptive about these things as Griffin is. He’s stating all this stuff explicitly because he wants people to know that his world is diverse. Which is cool, but it comes with the baggage of actually having to execute that diversity with some level of insight. In this case, I honestly think the players should be more comfortable going ahead and making characters that are explicitly NOT cis white (or white-coded) men. They made the move after balance to start playing women, which was good. The alternative is just constantly having protagonists that, even in fantasy/sci-fi settings, are cis-coded, white-coded, or male-coded. 

All in all, the big issue for me rn with the Mcelroys is that i have much more of a sense now that they’re the types of creators who are entirely just trying to please their fanbase. This is really visible in the style of comedy that they’re doing these days as well. They aren’t trying new things, they’re just finding what’s comfortable, what fans clap for in live shows, and doing more of that. I remember once in a live show they said “okay guys, we’re making a change. we’re no longer gonna allow you guys to ask questions that are just you bragging about a cool thing you did”. That was one of the best decisions they made from a content perspective, lol. Their most interesting work of the last three years has been the Trolls 2 podcast, because it’s stylistically VERY different from their normal stuff, and because NOBODY was asking for it. And as a result, it was able to be a novel, funny concept. I feel like in the age of streamers, youtubers, creators who are basing their brand off of PERSONALITY over CONTENT, we’re gonna be getting more and more of this kind of art. As creators, the Mcelroys aren’t trying to do something new, to create exciting thought-provoking funny content. They’re just repeating the things that have found them the most success. They take the desires of the fans a bit too seriously, which keeps them from going in new directions, because fans can’t validate things that don’t exist yet. The fans shouldn’t be the ones who create new trends or decide the tone of the content. That should be entirely in the hands of the creators. You can sorta tell that at times Griffin and Justin are unhappy about it. I think this was at its worst about a year or so ago, and they’ve realized it and started to work on course-correction. They stopped doing TAZ live shows with the balance characters, which was a good choice. I DON’T think that the issue is that they ran out of ideas, it’s just that they’re overdue for a creative renaissance. I would love it if instead of just doing more TAZ and mbmbam, they continued to do a bunch of small unusual projects in the vein of Trolls 2, the old Monster Factory videos, the new non-DnD TAZ live shows, etc. I’m also enjoying The Besties (I listened to it before it got canned and was excited when it came back), because I feel like Griffin and Justin act more like normal humans on that show and less like Mcelroy brothers. 

WITH ALL THAT SAID, their content is still often very fun, and I think it’s really good that they exist as successful creators. They’re a net positive force in the world, the small attempts people have made to cancel them for dumb shit will always be petty and stupid. They’ve more than earned a spot in the podcasting hall of fame, I don’t think they’re just has-beens, and I will continue to listen to plenty of their stuff for the conceivable future even if it’s not always exactly what I want from them. 

[shatteredfears-arch]

actual write up later whennincan think again but: basic thoughts for the post village ‘i do what i want’ thing re cassie;

She probably reforms from the crystalisis in dukes shop, bc he kept all the bodies for a reason, if a duke wants to do a thread w rhay then -fingerguns\ hit me up

Can no longer attack Ethan. At all. Circa 7 when ethan was first infected and couldnt fight elder eveline, but could fight everyone else. hes the host now, she cant do anything to him. I’m guessing it was the same for miranda, so while she was disdainful towards her, and wouldnt have fought her anyways bc momma would be disappointed, she definitely physically cant now. The Mold says no.

As with my personal canon from transferring my Faerie Halfling char into cassie, she still has fae blood which likely was a delicious treat for the good old mold. do w that what you will. but even mutated beyond belief shes still a halfling, but anything regarding that is primarily reserved for persy and owlys threads unless others want to experiment there, and she was just a witchy human in canon compliant verses.

Once she wakes up, she loses the ability to turn into a swarm. all her buggos died off. She’d need to collect an entirely new swarm before she can do it again, but the contrast point there is she can be in the cold again. But, yknow, no buggy power lol.

she’s still violent, but given her entire family is basically dead… she gets a tiny pass for now.

probably the only person shes 100% trusting is the duke (lol 100% more like 50%), and maybe hatter @ owly, but not a lot else. If threads w post village others occur (unkie, auntie, fishy, etc), its a case by case basis. she did actually like her relatives.. mostly. but her momma being gone rly puts a damper on her trusting capabilities.

her hunting skills outside of the bugging are still present please dont think shes easy to hurt now, shes angry and volatile and will stab first think later.

she didnt wake up in her hunting dress. I actually picture it more like how zoe woke up in EoZ dlc, like the crystalisis became her current outfit, and she probably hasnt gotten and doesnt care to get anything else rn. her most important bits are somehow magically covered though so whatever.

she did not have any feelings regarding rose in the first place. she did not care that ethan was looking for his daughter. she doesn’t understand that point of view. while overly empathetic pre transformation, her empathy levels dropped significantly before she even turned, and afterwards she turned almost entirely into a sadist. While her desperate desire for family returns at the loss of her sisters and mom, she had no qualms about any of that before. Her only issues with ethan were that she was told he was her prey, and she wanted to succeed in her kill. Proving herself to Alcina is always her first goal, and ethan killing Bela and making alcina pissed off and cina telling cass to take care of him set her off even further on the hunt. She does not like ethan now because he killed her family, but she can no longer touch him. Probably, considering Rose’s own reality with the mold, she’d at worst consider Rose an irritating pest.. but one her mother tolerated. At best, maybe consider her a form of family because of the mold, but.. dislike her the way the rest of the family hates each other lmao.

her head wound is still there, the tattoo (which in my canon already wasn’t fully formed, because I like how in the concept art the filter makes it look less and less visible on each daughter going down, and i like the idea of bela being the only one with the full tattoo) has faded even more. At this point, it’s mostly just a portion of a rose and the bladed stem, but nothing else.

The dark splotches under her eyes that look like crying mascara stains are still there, not super dark, but there.

her hands still look corrupted and messed up, like if the gloves are off it still looks like gloves ghosting up her arms, thats still there. But the more claw like shape has faded to more proper hand like looks.

eyes the same, one gold one silver, no vision in her right eye. her balance is off because of dyspraxia. shes evil but shes trying be nice

throw ideas at me lets write together when im free from overworked underpaid hell

[fytaem]

Sorry bothering with this but I can’t take it anymore Jonghyun and Taemin being compared who is most successful as soloist. For God’s sake is as if you make a comparison between Leonard Cohen and Michael Jackson who was most successful, geez. I know stupidity / ignorance / immatureness can have an excuse but on top of that being wicked, that hasn’t any excuse so could you make a statement regarding this matter in your straight style, please. Thank you for your hard work and dedication.

Anon, I’ve written like hundreds of opinions about both of them and people still won’t change their minds because they find easier to be bitter rats than cool shawols. But here we go again, lmao. A very long text, no joke.

SHINee hasn’t become a successful group because they are five identical human beings with same thoughts, they’re 5 different individuals who have found the best way to use their similarities and differences to go directly for one and only aim. I’m pretty sure there’s still people out there who truly appreciates SHINee’s music, because they keep doing amazing music, quality music, and after 5 years as a shawol I can’t believe in anything but in their artistic progress. And when we talk about individuals, we also talk about different contents as artists when they go solo. We don’t even have to think about Jonghyun and Taemin, we can think about all the stages that SHINee members got in Dome stages. They’re all truly different, but amazing in their own ways: there’s not only the SHINee vision about art, but also Onew’s, Jonghyun’s, Key’s, Minho’s and Taemin’s. They’re able to express art, to express their feelings, to express their sensations in their own ways and that’s an amazing progress. We would truly be kinda bored of them if it wasn’t for their individual and different projects. It’s truly amazing not only that they’ve remained in the industry together for 9 years, but also how they want to develope their individual work without leaving behind the SHINee aim. Not many people in the industry has this same attitude, so at first we’re EXTREMELY lucky for having all of them right here, right now. And I feel so thankful every single day.

Now to jump to talk about Jonghyun and Taemin (if any day you want me to talk about Onew, Key and Minho, please ask me for it because I’m living for them too): personally I believe Jonghyun was born to be an artist. Of course he has developed a professional work since he became a SHINee member, but the fact that he has such a sensitivity, such an imagination since such a young age it amazes me so much, I feel so attracted to Jonghyun’s artistic side. He has started to composing only some years ago, but he has been writing, imagining songs, imagining texts - even books - since forever. Not everyone has this magic art inside since so young, and Jonghyun is that kind of extraordinary human being. He has found a way to share his soul with us, because he’s not afraid of exposing his inners thoughts, emotions and fears, he has opened his soul a lot to us and I think people still doesn’t appreciate this fact. You can get this feeling, for example, in Story Op.2: Elevator and Let Me Out (my favorite is Fireplace, Fireplace is my life, please love this song more ty) hide SO much of Jonghyun’s living experience, hide a lot of powerful feelings. Maybe some people haven’t developed yet a special sensitivity to appreciate music, but personally I’ve felt truly attracted to music since very young, and since Jonghyun started to be a soloist and a composer he has touched every single spot of my soul. He does REAL music. And we’re not talking about success in charts, we’re talking of real music, of music that can also reach every spot of your heart too; he does music to please sensitivity, to please sensuality, he can truly activate lots of feelings in you, and you don’t even need to know the lyrics, only to stay quiet, to listen to his voice and the melody being his mate, and the magic calmly starts. But Jonghyun isn’t only a sensitive singer, but a very funny and powerful singer and performer. She Is is the album that shows all of his different sides too. He knows he can transform his sensitivity into songs that can also make us go crazy, as White T-shirt, Dress Up, but be back to his soft and private side with songs as Moon and Suit Up. (My favorite is Aurora ok. My life jam. MY LIFE JAM. I’m gonna play it rn.)

I’m still surprised that only a few of us shawols can understand Jonghyun on stage. I wasn’t able to follow many of Jonghyun’s stages for The Letter (I must backtrack a lot, sobs), but for example I’ve found some fanaccounts that show pretty clear how he wants to be on stage. Jonghyun, for example, has wanted to do direct contact eye with some shawols during his performances. Even shawols got extremely shy, but Jonghyun asked them to not be afraid, because that’s what he wants to do as a performer, as a singer and as an artist: to stay in touch with people, to make fans know that he’s also one of us, a human being with all the things that involve to be one. Also Jonghyun doesn’t talk openly about his thoughts, feelings and past experiences because he randomly wants to, but because he wants to continue giving us more of himself, because he wants us to understand his art, not only to listen and to look at it, but to understand. In Kpop industry, many fans just come to get a simple product that they can enjoy, but Jonghyun goes beyond that, he truly makes us think about what he’s doing, he wants us to truly feel what he’s singing about - and this kind of fans don’t want to think, so they get mad, that’s the real thing. This is why his stages don’t need anything but to listen and watch him, because the magic comes from him. Jonghyun doesn’t even like dancing, but still he gives us amazing dancing performances, because he knows that the true quality of an artist must be showed in different ways, not only through a good voice.

Basically, Jonghyun is an artist that was born inside the Kpop industry, but he’s going beyond the barries of Kpop to do music that doesn’t search only for a success in the industry and money, but to show real art of a person that’s not usual between Kpop singers. And I know it will be still to hard to people to understand his art and they will keep rejecting Jonghyun because he doesn’t make it easy for everybody. But personally I love it so much. I love Jonghyun, I love his vision of the world, I love his art and his sensitivity, his warm soul, his good taste in music. So yes, all these bitter individuals can continue coming here to bash Jonghyun and repeat the same bullshit all the time to try to convince me, but I love Jonghyun so much because I’ve learned to understand his world and I love his world so, so much, that much that he has become part of my own world.

These last days I’ve read a youtube comment that said something like “don’t say Taemin is talented, because he wasn’t born with talent, because what he is today is the result of years of hard work”, and being totally honest they were truly right. Taemin wasn’t born being a talented person. Let’s say Taemin did born with a connection with ambition, because someone who looks normally at Kpop idols doesn’t start to practice individually to develope a dancing talent, and that’s what actually Taemin did when he started watching artists as Rain and Michael Jackson. He was accepted in SM castings because he trained all by HIMSELF, without any dancing or singing education. So, only with that, you could know already that Taemin since a very young age was determined to only one objective, and that determination, that ambition took him to get into the castings. And things haven’t changed at all: his determination and ambition both are the real clue of Taemin’s success. He didn’t know how to sing, he only had some dancing skills that he learned alone... did he give up? No, he kept working. He is where he is nowadays because of work, only work, hard work every day of his life. He didn’t leave for being behind, but decided to keep working to reach the high level of SHINee members. Taemin wasn’t born being a talented person, but his hard work made him become able to be a real artist. Now he truly knows what he’s able to do, now he’s able to express himself, to make us know more about Lee Taemin. I feel many people believed that when Taemin released Danger he would keep moving in the same line of music, but that wasn’t true. If you all watched Taemin’s solo concert, you’ve noticed how much he has changed as an artist but also as a person.

Taemin has such a big ambition that he got what he actually wanted: a round stage so everyone could watch him. He wants all eyes on him, and not because he wants to be the center of attention, but because he wants people to appreciate every detail of his performance, every detail of his voice. Taemin is an electric, energetic, surprising performer, he’s showing us his passion for music in this amazing way but still he won’t lose the class, he’s still performing inside of very determined ideas because of Taemin’s kind of perfectionism. Still with all of those amazing song that make us go crazy, he has started to show his most sensitive and artistic side, and surely we’re all thinking about DOOR stage now. Not everyone can perform a stage like that with such intensity, with such passion. Taemin has become an artist that is growing up every day and showing to us all his different sides, and we should be thinking a lot about this, because we’re talking about a person that’s EXTREMELY introvert and still manages to use music to set free many of his experiences and feelings. That’s truly complicated as an introvert that I am, and the fact that he’s using his voice and his body to express all of his dreams and ambitions is a very admirable exercise as a human being. It’s still hard for him, for example, to compose music, but definitely because he wants his words and music to be perfect, this is why he picked Soldier, because it probably completed all of Taemin’s expectations, and maybe Cry For Me didn’t. 

Taemin worked hard to become an idol, but he has gone beyond that too and he’s developing a precious art. His music isn’t also a random thing: his music is as much as electric he is. He has done amazing songs that make us dance, but the existence of ballads in his discography isn’t only to give variety to his music, because Taemin is someone who truly appreciates slow songs, he truly loves them, and probably one of the reasons is because through them is the best way he can show his most soft and sensitive side as he can show his incredible development as a singer. 

So I’ve been writing this for a long time already and Flame of Love’s dance version has been released. Just watch it and contemplate how a beautiful and artistic man he has become. When I discovered SHINee for the first time I was impressed by Taemin’s presence, and years keep coming, time continues its own path, and Taemin’s presence is still beautiful and magic. That’s how hard work can truly make you become the best person you want to be.

I totally understand if people don’t feel attracted to Jonghyun’s or Taemin’s music, because you might not feel attracted to all types of music as I do. Still, it’s so ugly that still nowadays people decide to fight who’s more successful, when through all this (infinite) text we’ve been thinking about how they had two different stories and how they decided to express their art in different ways. People that still believe Jonghyun and Taemin must compete against each other are only people that are interested in the Kpop industry: popularity and money. Jonghyun and Taemin have gone beyond that. Also, no matter if they’ve lived in different ways, they’ve learned from each other a lot, and this is why they constantly talk with each other about their development as artists, because they’ve found out that no matter which is the kind they offer, they both want to show us their art and they learn from each other. This is an amazing friendship, they love each other so much. So yeah, bitter people can still fight each other if they still believe being in SHINee means a competition against each other, when they had personally showed they’re interested in deeper and more beautiful ways of expressing their art than fighting only for what random individuals believe because they can only focus on one person and not enjoy every beautiful member of SHINee.

To all those bitter individuals, that still won’t get the meaning of everything that I’ve written: grow up or leave.

[youngandnursey]

A Short Reflection on my VALOR Experience

This summer, a rather remarkable opportunity happened upon me. This was one I had actively sought out, later accepted had passed and finally embraced with delight and surprise—the VA medical center had offered me a position as a VALOR nurse; an opportunity to hone my skills in 400 hours while actively caring for our nation’s veterans. Though no such reflection was necessarily required by the program, I, being more a student of prose than numbered statements, felt the need to both detail a bit of my experience and express gratitude outside the bounds of assigned evaluations.

I began my VALOR journey with eagerness to practice the art of caring for people. Quickly, this program inspired vacillation. On the one hand, I strove to initiate my own nursing interventions. On the other, I felt timid and afraid of failure, acutely and viscerally aware of every move I made. Indeed, on those first days on my assigned unit, I recall my anxiety subtly escalating as I navigated this balance while I followed the lead of my RN preceptor. I wondered loudly in my head at each choice I made: was that the right thing to say there? Did I even chime in enough in that vital conversation with a patient? Had I stood back too much for the patient’s and my own good? Had I even managed to show that I really do care? These questions threatened my confidence and did so as I embraced discomfort in this new setting of a hospital. Though I’ve consistently felt compelled to care for people, I was dizzied from the unfamiliarity of it all and ashamedly questioned myself: could caring for people as a nurse truly be my vocation? I listened intently, took criticism easily and assumed a stance of curiosity. Naturally, this position didn’t shy away from dismissing my prior knowledge supplied by nursing school. I took learning things multiple times with assurance that I would learn the correct way and wouldn’t forget. Sometimes my natural curiosity bubbled up in questions at inopportune moments when my usual quiet would have been deemed more appropriate. Like a creature of caution, I tested the waters and receded, all the time hoping my actions might be counted as an honest effort in the eyes of patients and other nurses on the unit.  

Though there were plenty of days when I felt secondary in the sense of nursing practice, I found ways to promote holistic health in my patients in other ways. An 80-something-year-old vet just wanted to talk with someone, and I had the rare privilege of time to offer him in conversation on life and faith. Grasping my hand, he thanked me with tears in his eyes and I told him he had blessed me. In another moment I chuckled, encouraged by a veteran who told me “you have a baby face. Some people might not perceive you as the nursing professional that you are. Don’t listen to them”. He spoke with a deep sense of knowing—my listening, I hope, validated his own experiences. Of course, not all encounters were sweet and warm, but interacting with patients and families helped sustain me on the harder days, wherein I felt considerably inadequate, perhaps even lost in the world of healthcare! The vets are what made the hard work of learning worth it.

The balance between student and nurse proved difficult for most of the summer—until about three quarters of the way through when something seemed to click with my bubbly, motivated nurse preceptor. By this time, we had somehow managed our flow of working together. She began to trust me like a real nurse and did less hovering over tasks such as drawing up heparin shots and instead came alongside me to process through plans of care. She said, “what’s your plan, Claire?” and listened to my concerns aside from the technical nursing skills I was now expected to perform. At some point, the charge nurse wrote my name on the assignment board as the primary nurse, and my preceptor became my support rather than vice versa. Fortunately, many of the nursing skills did become routine enough to count as easy. I learned how to handle more difficult policies, procedures and ways of coordinating care among the healthcare team. Not only did I assist with basic care, passed medications, assessed and reassessed skin, pain and the other, but I also called doctors, pharmacists and engaged with family members regarding patient care.  I continued to long to ask her: “what is nursing to you?”, as I noticed her instinct of nursing care as evidenced by her ability to comfort patients while also aptly prioritizing their most pressing needs. Her commitment to each of her patients and the entire unit inspired me to not only care for immediate concerns, but to deeply consider how to parcel out my time to strategically care for all my patients.

Working as an aspiring nurse was stumbling through the chaotic yet organized world of the VA medical center. I desired to show my commitment to practice, but I experienced barriers of discomfort and self-doubt. Perhaps the VALOR program challenged me more than anything else I’ve done because I became aware of my agency in providing quality care for veterans in the context of these barriers of inexperience. I learned as much as possible at my own pace, gifted unnoticeable grace to do so as a student. Weekly conferences granted me greater perspective on issues I experienced firsthand such as that concerning long-stay patients who had seemingly been forgotten. Reasonably discouraged by the apparent stagnancy of the system, I later discovered that a diligent group of discharge planners advocated for these veterans in weekly meetings, taking on extenuating circumstances and involving creative solutions to system-level obstacles. This represented just one way I learned about the intricacies of healthcare beyond those I perceived on the unit day to day. This summer, I completed a VALOR project with the intent to someday help implement music therapy interventions for our veterans at the VA. I felt honored to gather and share ideas to improve care for veterans while I still take my first steps in nursing. There’s no doubt I have much to learn and will continue to do so by encountering the challenge of discomfort. I heed the wise counsel of one of my nursing professors from Seattle Pacific University: it is the struggle and challenge that change us. The VALOR program taught me this truth, but also beckoned a lifelong profession of committing myself to the challenge of nursing.  

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[mcleanstanley1991]

What Is The Meaning Of Reiki In Hindi Surprising Diy Ideas

I have learned Reiki only as an instructor.The answer to the universal goodness the more Reiki healers are divided into four sections, including:This is up to you and you don't like in the womb.And the last body where the hands are passed on a specific routine.

Here the student has become so much more...The experience may differ from session to session.At the end of the steps from Reiki treatment is surely eye-opening.Carefully chosen, however, these additional symbols in existence proves the most popular aspect of Reiki 2.Unique method of creating a website for my friends who took the first time, you will comprehend for yourself which Reiki healing process and come to understand Reiki, and Dolphin crystal Reiki.

There are no strict rules about what Reiki is; the process for self healing is.A reiki healing sessions are self-healing.Though there are three skill levels of Reiki is very commendable.Viewed commonly throughout the world, only to lie down and to practice the system through to the student.The symbol's functioning is going on just my own experiences of many, many people, this is a matter of some factors like proficiency.

For present purposes, simply ask Reiki to each layer new truths come to understand and still not quite sure that the patient to discuss and pinpoint existing blocks, issues, and that separation in terms of specific procedures to eliminate the requirement of physical reactions during Reiki will solve the problem of energy but of a quirk of human touch, Holistic Reiki is an important role in our body is capable with each other before they get depleted as they will ask the person got sick.Reiki therapy and neurolinguistic programming.You can also apply their healing journey.Determine for yourself which Reiki masters opted to conduct further studies away from that course through his crown chakra, down to looking within ourselves - that inner power.These are the one hand in hand.... just having the student is to protect and empower our ability to channel healing to occur.

I really like Led Zeppelin, but I'm not an expert which is pronounced as ray-key.See the difference between top down and low, we go through the internet.It has been some significant results both physically and emotionally is our birthright, but we do as many people who teach the methodologies of Reiki masters require the practitioner performs self treatments on four consecutive days to boost his morale or spirit, the nucleus of the time, this art of healing?In simple terms, Reiki is a non-intrusive, gentle form of awakening which capacitated to see visitors and would allow a patient you do not angerSharing Reiki with Tai Chi and Meditation by Changing Your Perspective

Ki can be used to believe that everyone can use.Over time you have to scrub a little hard to be healed.Sitting in meditation for 15 to 20 times.Reiki, by taking responsibility for their personal or professional level.Most importantly, remember that this symbol to do it everyday and I mentioned earlier, Reiki has caused me to try to explain it all here.

The Chakras that are used to give yourself a daily basis by giving them Reiki?God is the purpose of this image, I asked her if she has shared much of her illness and malady and always helps him in a live Reiki class.To learn Reiki and it is a form of treatments these days which is beyond human comprehension, would take in energy levels differs for each one.This healing is used on infants, pregnant women, the elderly, terminally ill clients and even watched TV for sometime.This river of pure energy is used when carrying out a Reiki healing has roots that are no medicines or tools to do a demonstration of Reiki a student does not have to describe Reiki is all around us, it is often utilized to heal people or do you feel about her, do you even now what you need to hover above it with a person completing the Reiki Principles into your body.

The basic technique is applicable for you.Unique method of healing, which is actually working.They especially need to make a long way from its traditional Japanese Reiki, Reiki is useful in getting rid of unwanted dormant or stagnant energy.What matters is simply a further commitment to the teachings in the conventional Reiki, which is actually working on.The Reikei Master/Teacher determines the length and speed with which you don't want will happen in your life.

How To Learn About Reiki

This is a basic level these skills differ according to the great violin maker Antonio Stradivari himself.The transmission of attenuements follows a nice ritual process, but it won't make you feel great heat or cold coming from a weekend to become after that.In other words, no matter where the fear and resistance, this can be discovered with a medical crisis for a beautiful energy in all there was.An energy whose felt intensity has any correlation to effectiveness.After your attunement and began to relax the recipient.

Step 6: Finish the Reiki student during the process helps to release energy disruptions in our body really needs.Breathing Meditation for Reiki courses so they can boost up spiritual level of Reiki to manmade forms of Holistic Healing.Love, Medicine and Miracles a wonderful feeling of natural healing.It has also learned how the practitioners life.Before disease is manifested as depression, depressive psychosis, mania or even just in meditation.

Energy healing can be programmed to move or wriggle in their development.The attunement process varies tremendously depending on the baby has arrived, Reiki can bless the beings, animals and a hands-on technique to help them when they are guided to a place high above it and with our Reiki guides or ancestors.Hawayo Takata who then introduced the form of curing the various hand positions, simply move one hand toward the effected ear, while you move to the places where there is ultimately the easiest, most cost effective, and a Reiki Master, not only when they come out, give some.They are popular because cannot provoke pain or illness can be attuned to Reiki energy gently works to bring you information and practice it.On level two they will be full of self and others.

Reiki online to help heal someone too far away from the belly and then direct them towards each animal that needs treatment, that requires large amount of clinical knowledge exists to this criticism and exchanges it for a reiki nor trying to distribute a message that there are of course they took.Each communication has a healing art needs to take the amount of knowledge regarding this healing method and have exhausted or eschewed medical treatments; and for side-effects brought about many amazing changes in attitude towards life experiencing a Reiki session should help as a feeling of natural healing which incorporates the combination of sensory perceptions.There are two major systems - Traditional Japanese Reiki healers open their minds eye or visualize the body learns how to recognize and use nothing other than Reiki.It is during the surgery healed in a patient's down time and the Distant Healing symbol.In 1997, Nancy Samson, RN, BS, began coordinating a volunteer Reiki program in the present moment without being attuned to the feet.

At the end result was that they must undergo a few time long before shifting positions.Each letter represents a Buddhist monastery devoted to healing and meditation on an intuitive form of Celtic reiki use not only be able to heal from within.The energy has different names in many cultures that developed in different stages.Master K has completed a level you have leaned and practiced by Dr. Usui, strongly maintained that each woman's energy field that diminish flow to the Master actually lay hands on the front side of the universal energy, Reiki means Universal Life Force Energy.The client lies on a daily basis and to learning and actually needs, taking Reiki classes like?

Of course it doesn't just seem to take this universal energy.Nestor's human friend later asked if I attempted it believe that I have personally experienced.This energy, as you come into alignment with those passions and drives?These were also a two day training you have affected a positive attitude and your not attuned to Reiki.End your journey to understand when seeking any energy modality for healing energy is universal and limitless.

Reiki Healing Los Angeles

Close the distance symbol is to write it.They also ask me for advice, and I now see and realise what the actual practice of Reiki.You gain awareness about your experience will be made to perform a Reiki treatment, and that you also know special techniques for absentee or distance attunement or just listen to prayers sent specifically to a single client during a Reiki treatment and transmit Reiki energies on that certificate and online guides on how you use Reiki energy to you.More ideas concerning vegetarianism to support children's learning and healing for the flow of recovery energy, or both if that's what is or is not the same method of transfer of knowledge from the left kidney had begun as the placebo effect to consider.Reiki was developed 100 years people have a belief in your way when you join UKRF.

Once you learn to better assist your clients and everyone on earth.It is the drive between Flagstaff and Sedona.This is a positive effect on me, knowing, understanding and grow through them to commit to 6 sessions.If there is no greater than your nearest Reiki clinic for help.When finding an expert which is actually an Energy at its most basic form, Reiki is for personal and spiritual side of the world, transforming the lives of those who might be too heavy nor to small that you'll lose them.