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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 2 years

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Is It Really That Bad?

Dreamworks has such a stellar reputation these days thanks to things like the reappraisal of Megamind as a subversive superhero masterpiece ahead of its time and The Last Wish being one of the single most epic animated films ever made, but there was a time where the studio got very little respect. You see, the studio found solid footing a lot quicker than you’d think, with the first two Shrek movies becoming smash (mouth) hits and The Prince of Egypt being an animated Biblical epic for the ages. Sure, Sinbad is the fourth biggest confirmed loss in box office history, losing Dreamworks $125 million, but they could definitely rebound with some of that Shrek money, right? Maybe, but when you bomb that hard, you’re probably in need of a little bit more cash. Clearly the best way to go about getting that is to recapture that Shrek magic with a star-studded snarky comedy full of pop culture references! What could possibly go wrong?

Well, you’ve got the lowest rated Dreamworks Animation film on Rotten Tomatoes, uncanny valley CGI that was derided even back at the time, a star-studded cast that seems overly excessive even by animated studio standards of the time, a nonsensical combination of animated fish and gangster movie tropes, accusations of racism towards Jamaicans due to the two jellyfish characters, competition from The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie and Finding Nemo, and even one of the own stars looking back on voice acting in the film as bad. That’s what could go wrong.

Still, some people look back on this movie fondly. You go to places on the internet where this movie is talked about and you’re bound to find some people saying how this movie was their childhood, and how it’s a riot, and how Will Smith is great… There has to be something to this, right? Shark Tale must have something to it if people still sing its praises, right? Is it… really that bad?

I mean, take a look at Oscar and you tell me.

Alright, alright, I’ll actually give it a fair shake. Here goes.

THE GOOD

Look, when you have this much talent in a film, you’re bound to accidentally stumble onto a few good things.

Easily the best thing in the movie is Martin Scorsese as Sykes, Oscar’s boss and the fish who most has to put up with Oscar’s boneheaded antics. The acclaimed director really shows off his funny side with this one, and the fact he has to deal with the problems of an obnoxious Will Smith fish make him surprisingly sympathetic. He’s genuinely a lot of fun, and the movie gives him plenty of screentime so you don’t have to worry about him being underutilized, and he manages to make any scene he shares with Oscar more tolerable.

Then we have the sharks. Specifically we have Robert de Niro playing the mob boss Don Lino; despite this being the most basic de Niro role you could possibly give the guy, he still manages to make it entertaining. In a broad sense, the entire shark mob gets a fair share of solid jokes, which is compounded by the bumbling octopus lackey Luca, who gets a few chuckles with his comic relief antics. Overall, our antagonists are pretty solid… and more enjoyable than our hero.

Then we have Lenny. I think Jack Black’s vegan shark is a bit of a divisive figure, but rewatching the movie, I honestly liked him and his storyline. For a movie from the early 2000s (and a comedy at that), it surprisingly tackles the topic of homosexuality in a tasteful manner. Yes, it is blatantly obvious and heavy-handed, and it’s not executed in a way that the film can make better use of it, but I think it’s a pretty bold and resonant message. If only the film had focused on Lenny and had it be his story instead of letting Will Smith’s stupid “Shark slayer” plot steal all the screentime; the movie is literally called Shark Tale, why is this not the story of the gay shark?! Why are we spending so much time with some whiny fish who lies, cheats, and acts like a dickhead to everyone around him?

Oh yeah and there’s a shark voiced by Peter “Columbo” Falk. That kinda rules.

THE BAD

Hey, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I do not fucking like Oscar.

Oscar is easily one of the worst protagonists ever conceived. He’s selfish, self-centered, stupid, egotistical, oblivious, obnoxious… It’s honestly mind-boggling that they cast one of the most charming and charismatic actors of all time and had him play a character antithetical to everything that he is as a performer. The entire movie is founded on him lying and taking credit for something he didn’t do, scamming multiple corporations out of brand deals in the process, gambles away his best friend’s precious heirloom and loses all the money, rarely takes responsibility for his actions… Honestly, this whole segment could just be listing all of Oscar’s negative traits and actions. And all of this could be forgivable if he was funny, but he’s not! He is utterly cringeworthy every time he attempts humor, and don’t even get me started on the romance.

Actually, no, let’s get started on the romance! Oscar and Angie’s relationship is fucking awful and toxic. This is the original Reylo right here, an unpleasant romance between characters with zero chemistry that is just overwhelmingly miserable and unhealthy. Angie refuses to communicate her feelings to Oscar and gets mad and jealous when he remains oblivious, and Oscar s just pretty callous and oblivious to Angie. There is no way any relationship with these two would actually last.

And then there’s Lola, the Angelina Jolie fish. Now, I ain’t saying she’s a gold digger… But she ain’t messing with no broke fish. Her relationship with Oscar is so blatantly telegraphed from the start as being manipulative and superficial, but he goes for it anyway. And while that is basically shoved in your face from the word go, you know what isn’t? The fact she’s able to pull some strings and work with the mob to kidnap Angie! How the fuck did she get in league with the sharks? Why did this not come up before? Why is this movie trying to frame this fish as a sexy femme fatale?

And there’s another thing: The animation in this film is abysmal, even for the time. The Shrek movies have aged more gracefully than this, and have you seen how Puss looked in Shrek 2 lately? This movie was bad even back then, with all of these fish designed to resemble their actors. Funnily enough, the more tolerable characters like Sykes and Lenny are a lot easier on the eyes (relatively speaking at least), while the worst characters are just unbelievably ugly. Angie, Lola, the jellyfish, and of course our old pal Oscar. It’s just really weird and awkward.

And maybe all of this would be easier to deal with if the film wasn’t so relentlessly unfunny and generic. When you get down to it, this is the most by-the-numbers mob movie and “liar revealed” story you will ever see. And while it’s trying to be funny, it’s generally failing miserably. Almost every joke is either a reference or an incredibly lame pun; there’s even a point where, while hamming it up, Oscar just rapid-fire spouts off movie quotes. And on top of everything else, the characters being fish really adds so little to anything that changing everyone to humans would improve things exponentially. Like it still wouldn’t be great, but we wouldn’t have to look at the aquatic version of Cats.

THE UGLY

Okay, I decided to save this for last. Ernie and Bernie, the two jellyfish, are widely viewed as Jamaican stereotypes due to their designs, voices, and singing of a Bob Marley song. They are probably the least-liked characters in the movie, and are seen by some as racist stereotypes.

The way I see it, while I don’t particularly like them, it’s not an Apu situation we have going on here, these aren’t two white guys putting on offensive accents. This is full-blooded Jamaican Ziggy Marley (the literal son of Bob Marley) and part-Jamaican Doug E. Doug playing stereotypical characters. Are they instantly not bad or offensive just because the actors match the ethnicity the jellyfish are stereotyping? No, of course not! But I do think a little context and nuance is needed here. They’re more annoying and stereotypical than outright offensive, but if you see them as offensive I can’t say I blame you. I just don’t think Marley and Doug were intentionally trying to offend.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

Look, if you were hoping I’d be the shining beacon in a sea of mockery, here to tell you Shark Tale is an unsung Dreamworks masterpiece, I’m about to disappoint you. This movie is bad. Like, really, genuinely bad. You have to be seriously blinded by nostalgia to think this movie is good. It is basically “How Not To Make An Animated Film 101,” committing every single crime that made 2000s animation awful, from the bloated celebrity cast to the excessive pop culture references to the poor world building to the dance party ending.

That being said, this is an utterly fascinating bad movie. This is a film that’s fun to talk about, fun to mock, and like I mentioned above there’s still some genuinely good elements that keep this from being truly painful. This film is many things, but boring is not one of them. When it comes to “So bad it’s good” animation, this film is top tier, though your enjoyment of it will definitely hinge on how well you can stomach the terrible animation. That solid 6 is a little bit generous if I’m being honest, but at the same time, as far as bad movies go this one is an enjoyable one. I mean, what’s the Disney equivalent to this, a pop culture poisoned shitty, generic animated movie? Chicken Little. Shark Tale is a million times better than Chicken Little, so if it has one thing going for it, it’s that.

#Is it really that bad #Shark tale #review #movie review #IIRTB #dreamworks

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lesser-mook · 1 year

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The Spot. Underutilized, but one of the better parts of the movie. The movie? A fucking mess. (Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Gimmick)

Dude was underused, this movie has one of the sloppiest scripts I've ever had to see in footage form.

This is like us getting the Wakanda battle BUT in Avengers 4 and everything in-between was an irrelevant side-plots, halting the actual story with the villain.

Just bad storytelling across the board. Spider-Man 3 had more coherent storytelling, and that was also doing too much.

The movie wasted so much time trying to convince us how special Miles is with that clusterfuck Spider-Society bullshit, it completely forgot about Spot until suddenly the script reminded us he was a thing.

How tf is he supposed to find someone he doesn't even know? Fuuuuck if i know. Magic spot powers i guess.

Gwen's story: That shit right there is what the movie should've exploited more, Gwen & her life, so much artistic care, visual storytelling, and good pacing. Starting off the movie with her better subplot, almost as if the writers were trying to say this movie should've been hers to begin with:

And they are RIGHT. I don't like cheap knockoffs, but this movie sold Gwen for me. Miles can go choke himself.

This right here is what the movie needed more of, focused character driven storytelling:

I'm not one of those (now kiss) shippers, where the peak of bonding or the seal of a couple is kissing 24/7, grew out of that shit way back when, yeeears ago.

To those who don't know, yet, or otherwise: 90% of a relationship is TALKING. That's where the justification to stay or break up comes from. You're not fucking, and kissing 24/7, not possible.

Talking, arguments, compromise, boundaries, respect, is what makes or breaks a ship IRL or fiction.

So this scene, is how you make a solid foundation for a couple.

Into the Spider-Gimmick? Not it.

They didn't have much of a relationship in the previous movie, so HER being that into Miles didn't make sense to me, read like a middle piece was missing:

But we’re here now, ok fine, the scene was good, music, pacing, dialogue, voice actors. The upside down setting fucked me up a little (vertigo) but what they talked actually about, was personal. It’s their moment.

Then they gradually betray that progress with the (Miles victimization arc) where everyone is riding him, because he's special boy.

Out of a multiverse of Spider-peeps, he's the center of attention. (subtle)

She voted against him in the last movie, she doesn't stick up for him this time when it counts..

WHY am I supposed to buy them as a couple when she isn't riding FOR him when it matters?

Why have such a good scene to then fuck it over.

Them wanting to make Miles the center of attention betrayed Gwen & Miles' momentum as a couple.

Cause her escaping with him or Miles having help would've actually made his somehow escaping a million, more experienced Spider-People + SPIDER-GOKU: make more sense.

This was the movie to cement them as a legit duo, cause the last movie was barely scraps.

With one movie left after this one, Across The Spider-Mess was the movie to sell them. Because really? Considering the timeline. What relationship do they even have?

It's Ochako & Deku all over again, Lois-chan and Clark-Kun.

This modern trend where wholesome shit & contrived drama is used to compensate for actual progress. Why?

Because committing to it requires writers/people to step out their comfort zone.

People LOVE to tease the audience with romance, otherwise committing to a couple in canon, acting like a couple, talking like one, interacting like one, writing one: Requires actual effort, a step up.

Teasing does not. Teasing & wholesome bait+ Backtracking = Red flags that you don't have the chops to commit to what you're dangling in front of people in the first place.

Writers want to have their cake & eat it too. 24/7, and it drives me nuts.

I'm no master literary artist, but jfc, I know what shit smells like and I know what gold looks like. (I say this all the times)

STOP teasing, if you're not going to do anything with it.

Cause after they become a couple, lesbian, gay, straight, doesn't matter- some/ a lot writers feel as if, the potential ends when characters get together officially. Like their story is done or held back because they have someone.

Female characters' major contributions to the plot cease when they get married, especially in anime.

Its insane. Your life, potential, and story doesn't end because you went steady.

Some writers fearing commitment to couples, especially in cartoons is a consistent cliche I've noticed.

If that's how you feel, then don't tease it in the first place.

Anyways, (tangent over)

We needed less of that (Miles Matters) bullshit.

If you gotta try that hard to validate one goddamn character, then the character is ass. Plain and simple.

Then using Miguel to say to his face that he shouldn't or wasn't "supposed" to be Spider-Man, Ha, way to gaslight my dear writers.

Anyone (that isn't a racist) with an ACTUAL reason to criticize Miles will bring up how fucking boring he is, how most of his villains are takeout box versions of Parkers or STRAIGHT UP Parkers villains. Bendis set up Miles to replace Ultimate Peter but Morales was so uninspired they had to shove him in the main 616 WITH a Parker that's still alive cause he couldn't stand on his own two feet.

Dude is deadass Supertoken/Supergirl, Kara Bore-EL, just black.

They have tons of stories trying to make them relatable and shit.

("Straight Out of Brooklyn"/"Supergirl being Super" are not bad books, they're vanilla as fuck. Boring as shit. Lite re-treads of better told stories with the originals. Kara BORE-EL/Mid Morales are boring, low-tier. OC level mid.)

And the few unique takes they do have they undo:

(Supergirl Being Super) is basically the first season Smallville. Just go watch the show bruv.

Nothing unique of their own, and everything they manage to cultivate exists in the shadow of a better character. It's not "Inspiration", it's called (Creative Bankruptcy), Redundancy, IRRELEVANT.

The only reason I will continue to press them, is despite their mediocrity, their companies KEEP REWARDING them with adaptations. anyway?! So no matter what, they get to succeed but better characters that nobody knows about sink into obscurity.

WHAT?!

Again, (Jason Todd, Cassandra Cain, Superboy Prime, John Stewart) are what happens when you experiment with the formula, and venture outside the safezone.

X-23 is how you make a spin-off, a knockoff with intrigue.

Having the main character's mother basically say "If they don't accept you, come home", which the second act of the movie is just Miles being persecuted as a meta commentary on people who dared to dislike the affirmative action Spider-Man, combined with Miguels very odd rant about his being Spider-Man is somehow a cosmic error or some shit: (subtle btw)

- is 300% OVERCOMPENSATING.

Yes, there are people who don't like Morales. Get over it, holy mother of Christ. 2 hours of this shit man.

And the tragic part? I didn't want to dislike this shit, I went into this movie excited for what they'll do (FOR) Miles, and what I got was a propaganda film littered with member-berries:

As the intro-credits rolled I said "Alright, finally!" (Cause I waited before seeing it. I repeat, actually wanted to see this shit. *Trivia*-- Spider-Man is my first fav Superhero.)

When It ended, I said "That was a fucking mess."

And went the fuck to sleep.

You had one job, sell the character to sell me the movie.

You sold me on Gwen, but she's not the center of the posters, Miles is. You failed Miles. You had one fuckin job.

And instead you gaslighted people who MIGHT not like Miles, instead of giving them a reason to like the bastard or see him as his own entity in the first place.

Like an original villain specifically for Miles, new to Marvel History, unique to the movie, no you take one of Peters, because what else is Miles good for but eating Peter Parkers leftovers.

DC managed to breakoff like what? 4-5 different Robins, most took on the mantle of Batman but all have their own mantles.

Why is it so difficult for Marvel to get Miles an ounce of intrigue without being weird about it.

But insist on pushing him sooooooooooooooo hard like he's peak? Again, which is the main reason why I harp on it. Their insistence on making him the new thing.

If he got the same level of medium exposure as the rest, fine, I'd make one post and leave him alone.

But he's one of the newer Spiders, barely has a legacy, but he for some reason (and we all know why) gets all this special treatment.

Gwen, Miguel and Spot were the best thing in the movie.

Cute moment, one of things I like about the movie this little sequence, yet I can't believe they made our girl Mayday a gd baby.

This movie was trying to be too many things at once, and failing to execute most of it. Across The Spider-Mess.

Goldmine resources wasted on bum scripts, could've made a solid, isolated, self-contained movie that leaves a door open for more potential (Infinity War) but was released was a pretentious shill piece, that waited until the last min to actually start telling a story after they were done stroking it's main character.

Then a cliffhanger. Wtf?

100% unnecessary attempt at justifying Morales.

Sometimes the people who criticize the most, have a reason, will list the reasons in plain English, and more importantly want to be proven wrong with just a good story.

Anyone sane doesn't get out of bed wanting to hate something, but if shit stinks and people saying it instead smells like Febreeze, yeah SOMEBODY's gotta say it.

Music was good, very good.

Prowler Miles was dope (ofc he's got more screen presence than actual Miles, who is a gd bum), Prowler Miles is exactly the kind of energy he shoulda been on. He inherits his Uncle's mantle, fits so much better for him than being a DLC Spider-

This video spoiled him for me, but it's a dope video. Watched the shit on loop for a good couple of hours, good to draw or chill to.

The individual animation styles for certain Spider-people looked cool. The animators definitely deserve an award or something. I couldn't imagine working on something like this, 2 hours of footage, so much goddamn crunch and grind. Kudos.

Mess of a movie but it's production is there, I recommend the Gwen portions of the movie, that's a better movie trying to break out of this cluster fuck. So the first 20 min of the film, then 50 min mark when she talks about her issues with her pops., & around 1:52:17 is her situation getting wrapped up. HerStory.

Which what I cared about, because you notice, how hard the movie was simping for Morales, and it made a guy who slightly disliked Miles to downright not taking him seriously, at all now.

In contrast to Gwen, she was sold for me because the movie wasn't going out of it's way to validate her and justify her.

The movie wasn't shoving her down my throat or telling me what to think. It told a story with meaning, not a message, not an agenda.

Her first few sequences is her falling out with her band, awkward scene but in a good way, it shows her not having it all together emotionally, she's struggling.

And has nobody to talk to about it. Reminds me of PTSD or anxiety, namely in Vets. Cause who could you talk to about a not-so-normal experience relating to combat or someone dying, something most civilians could never try to relate to? But another Soldier or someone with a similar trauma.

Gwen was a lot more vulnerable here, that's why she translated better. This really should've been her movie. Or at least half of it.

#across the spiderverse #into the spider gimmick #mid morales #token morales #the spot #miguel o'hara #Youtube

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billerak · 23 days

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RWTC 2

Time for the sequel! My volume 1 post did great, a grandiose 3 notes. I can already smell the internet fame. Clearly, the fans want what I have to offer (That being: incredibly random thoughts and my always correct opinions), and I am here to give it to them.

Anyways when we last left off: We'd just stopped a grand robbery of dust in the docks! Well, Penny did most of the work, but it's the thought that counts. The ending was kind of abrupt! What wonders will V2 have to offer? How much of a mess will it make of things? I wonder!

Ep 1: We start the volume and the first thing Mercury does is… flirt? The way the line is read is so fucking awkward tho, lmao. I know the tukson scene was meant to be tense and menacing but, and I know I said I wouldn't do this much, but it's important here: The voice acting doesn't really sell the scene. It's not laughably awful or anything, it's just not very strong. Wow, Blake and Yang actually get an interaction where Blake actively replies to her! How wonderful. Thank you Ruby, that IS the current circumstances in which you find yourselves! The audience appreciates you for the explanation. Wow Neptune look at you I'm sure you'll be a super important character moving forward, relevant, always in the depths of the plot. No comments about the food fight. 10/10. Still my favourite secene from RWBY. Now Glynda I understand your frustration but everyone else ran away, these eight stuck to the food fight and wrecked each other's shit, I'd be impressed if I was the teacher of a combat school. I love Roman. He's a little shit. I'd bash his head in if I could, but that's why I love him. He's underutilized but his VA is clearly having a lot of fun and it seeps into the character. Do you think cinder uses her powers to make her eyes glow for effect at all times or only when she's tryning to be menacing?

On the Bees: Wow look an interaction! Clearly this has convinced me the writers had planned for it all along.

Ep 2: I do like Ironwood's always had that subtle tension to him. He's a man with good intentions but too much goddamn power for his own good. Leaving aside te absolute stupidity of a 'semblance' they gave him which was of course never mentioned in the show because it makes no goddamn sense. This is a general complaint I have, not only with RWBY but with pretty much all shows I've ever watched: JUST USE REAL BOARD GAMES. PLEASE. CALL THEM SOMETHING ELSE BUT MAKE THEM THINGS THAT ALREADY FUCKING EXIST. The only person I've ever seen who makes 'fake board/card games' funny is ProZD and dude literally makes a living out of playing and reviewing those. Anyways that's a me thing, otherwise it's a fine scene. Better than fine, really, because WHITE ROSE BABEEE THAT'S 2 EPISODES IN A ROW WHERE THEY'VE HELD EACH OTHER LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOO "But Neptun-" Nepwho? Ah, blue haired guy. Right. He exists. Aight I'll just say my piece here because I don't wanna be saying the same through the whole volume: The whole Weiss/Neptune thing is just horribly heterosexual people writting terrible heterosexuality. Neptune's entire personality is being heterosexual. Literally. If a gay character acted the same as him, he'd be criticized for having 'gay' be his personality, or he'd be considered a token gay, or smth. Seen it a million times. Comes out of nowhere, any time Weiss does or say anything involving Neptune I wanna unalive myself, the two have the chemistry of water, and I consider this fanbase got off lucky that Neptune ended up being only a plot device to get Jaune to move along his own arc. So yeah any time anything happens with Neptune, unless I state otherwise, assume I'm vomiting loudly. … Honestly Blake and Weiss are kinda shippable here. 'Nooo blake why won't you talk to me- I mean us you promised' gay ass. Anyways while I understand Ruby and Yang going with the stupid plan and Blake has personal reasons for it… It does feel a bit OOC for Weiss to agree because, well, she's fucking right. These four are just students and they only managed to deal with Roman and the White Fang last time because Penny came in clutch. They're fucked if they do this alone. How… old is cinder? I'd say she couldn't pass herself for a student due to credentials but we know salem has Lionhart by the balls so… ???

On the Bees: Weiss and Blake had a nice moment.

Ep 3: You know, I never understood what Jaune saw in Weiss. Like, ok, she's probably cute at first sight. But she's fucking insufferable otherwise. Her team can deal with her but I'd fucking despise her v1-3 self if I went to the same school as her. I prefer the other outfits tbh. Where… Where was Sun hanging from? He was like, some ways away from the window, but there was nothing there to hang to. I guess his semblance could help but would he really- Yeah he would. Ruby here know's what's up and she wants none of it. NONE. It may look like Ruby is making fun of Weiss, but she doesn't understand that's just flirting. But her heart pulls her two ways, OH NO. By the end of this story, she must choose- Well, no, not really, since one of the options is literally twice dead. (yes I ship Nuts n' Dolts too, sue me) Weird that Weiss didn't ask to see Winter when the woman said she was around, given that later it seems like she'd give an arm and a leg to speak to her. Ok, the reveal that Penny is a robot rings a bit… hollow, since, uh, we already knew that. Her back literally opens into blades, the weird thing really is Ruby not knowing.

On the Bees: Nuts.

Ep 4: OOOOH that's why it's called Nuts n Dolts, innit. Normally I'd say the Ruby/Penny friendship feels forced, but this is probably the only two people in this show where something like this works. Penny has no real frame of reference for friendship and Ruby is just like that. Once again Blake and Sun out here exploring Blake's past together, nothing narratively important going on! Roman is so charismatic. Honestly I'd like to pound his- Oh hi Neo didn't see you there. Ok, see what I mean with "Adam could've made the jump"? Look at Blake and Sun here. Jumping gaps way larger here. I guess he was too stunned for too long or smth idk. Cool fight scene. Gonna be honest, I fucking hate that the fandom took these combo attacks for ship names. Like the concept is cool and all but at least back in the day following ship discourse could be so fucking annoying. Anyways here we have our first canonical explanation of how Yang's semblance works. "With each hit she gets stronger, and she uses that energy to fight back". Which implies she needs to take the damage to get a boost, something something equivalent exchange, but it wasn't something that was happening first volume. Unless we count 'getting a hair cut' to be taking a hit. That being said, I still wonder what's stopping her from, idk, hitting herself or asking someone else to hit her before a battle (assuming she can predict a battle is coming, ofc) to at least have some energy stored up in a safe environment instead of having to risk tanking hits from her enemies. Never quite understood how Neo's semblance works. It's illusions but they leave behind a physical glass form. But how exactly does it make her vanish? In most cases it doesn't feel like she's creating a flat screen surface but just a second body and… teleporting away. Feels like Blake's semblance but more overpowered, but also she can make anything out of it as shown later… Ah, whatever, I don't think the writers think about it too hard, making sense of it is impossible.

On the Bees: Well, they had their ship name called out.

Ep 5: While I love Pyrrha winning against team Cardinal, I have to wonder… why was she even fighting all four? Were the teachers like "Cardin your team is so shit all four of you against Pyrrha seems fair, go fight" or what. See what I mean? Mercury clearly thinks of his discovery of Pyrrha's semblance as something interesting, but Ozpin himself says they make extensive tests to the people entering Beacon. Even if semblances aren't a matter of 'public' record, Cinder later gets into the systems, so couldn't she just have just… checked then? I understand the 'blake needs to relax' bit but also, trying to force her into the dance? Sun clearly has a crush on her so him asking makes sense but the rest of team RWBY probably should've been more like "you need to fucking sleep" rather than trying to get her into a dance. I really like Pyrrha and I am really sad the crux of her character is "crush on Jaune." She has a lot of interesting shit to explore WHY IS THIS HER FOCUS. Like it's RIGHT THERE. A girl prodigy with an amazing semblance that everyone places on a pedestal. But instead of being about her it's about fucking Jaune.

On the Bees: Well Weiss continues to be the one pressing Blake to be more open. Is their ship name Checkmate? No, doesn't sound right. Uh… Black and White? No. Grey… Monochrome? That one sounds familiar. May be it (Yes, I wrote this as I thought about it. No. I'm not cutting it down). Anyways whatever the ship name is, so far I kinda dig it more than bumblebee. It's amazing really.

Ep 6: Here it is bois the big chapter for bumblebee oh boi let's gooooo Aight Yang attracting Blake with a laser is pretty hilarious. The Jaune/Ren moment did make me chuckle too. Comedy seems to be on point (for my tastes) this episode. Nora/Ren not being 'together together' is a point they make many times and I only ask… why? Nora isn't subtle about her crush on Ren. I guess Ren is quiet and timid but it's clear- Hey wait why is their ship name 'renora'. Don't they get a combo name? I know I complain about them but like. Feels unfair anyways. Other ships involving them get the stupid combo names. Why not them? What was I saying? Oh right it's clear they have a thing going on and like, they've known each other all their lives. This isn't made a point of until like, 7 volumes in. Eh, idk. Honestly, very impressive Pyrrha can just walk and talk normally with that knife—well, more of a fucking sword—on her back. Bla bla Bees conversation comments at the end let's move on. Oh hey that's Qrow's emblem isn't it? Who designs the emblems anyways. The owners of them? Some are unique, some are inherited. They're kinda like Cutie Marks tbh. Jaune offering a White Rose to Weiss, clearly a reference to THE BEST SHIP. MAYBE 2ND BEST SHIP IDK I'M TORN HERE. ENDGAME CONFIRMED BOIS. Blake's first dance is asked for but she still goes to the dance explicitly with Sun. Of course that is meaningless, nothing here ever built them up to have a thing and it is clear Blake never had absolutely any interest in him whatsoever. Anyways look at those background characters. All heterosexual, not a single w/w m/m pairing dancing, other than the 5 seconds of Blake and Yang. The pinnacle of queer representation right here, folks! Ozpin is a little lying shit but I guess experience does let him give good advice.

On the Bees: Ok. I want you to understand something. This? This is the F I R S T time Blake and Yang have a long, one to one conversation. In the show. Volume and a half in. They're not only teammates, they're partners. Ruby and Yang had a couple of conversations. Weiss and Ruby have had many. Even Ruby and Blake, famously interacting very little, had that conversation about books and fairy tales when first meeting. I don't care about the fact that they've spent months together at this time. That's not the point. The point is this conversation? It's the first actually shippable moment between them. Anything prior is /nothing/. You couldn't fucking write a developing relationship out of them with the interactions they've had before this point. From here on out at least there's a base to work with. That established, it's not the best base. Blake isn't her 'usual self' here. She's exhausted and in a terrible mood. The scene is mostly taken over by Yang's backstory. The conversation is Yang trying to make a point. It's a good conversation, and it finally establishes an interaction between them that doesn't feel loose. It's just a conversation I think would've been far more effective if we'd first seen them have more interactions under normal circumstances. Yang does wink at Blake and 'saves her first dance'. I believe this is the only time in this show where she's flirtatious towards a girl. Wonder why they didn't go togehter to the dance, instead of, well, I already said it above.

Ep 7: What was Jaune gonna do here? Beat up Neptune? Don't get me wrong I find him vomitive, as stated before, but the guy doesn't really deserve a beating for not agreeing to a dance, you know? Or was he heading towards Weiss? Kind of unclear, but he did look kinda angry so I assume he was going after Neptune. Like I get Pyrrha being drawn to Jaune for his ignorance of her and I do think that now it makes some sense she may be into him but I still don't buy how into Jaune she originally was. I do like this conversation between Pyrrha and Jaune, though. And, despite everything, this may be the only moment with Neptune that's genuinely funny. The 'I can't dance' part I mean. Usual applies to everything else. Nora and Ren are dancing, and Blake and Sun are… /still/ dancing? I can only assume they took a break, or they just really like dancing. Still not a single background gay! Dress moment is another Top 10 scenes of the show tbh. Throwaway gag turned funny/wholesome moment. Normally I'd call out the synchronized dance but these are hunters I can assume they have the reflexes to pull it off… assuming Jaune leads, anyways. Ah, yes, the legendary terrible running across rooftops scene. Here it is. It's legendary and terrible and funny. For real though I think I've seen worse animation moments before. I think it's just that this one likes like 5 whole ass seconds and gets full focus. Really? Karate chop? I know it's probably for the memes but girl, you can summon crystal blades at a distance. I reckon using those would be more effective. So… who picks the lockers and brings them back to the school after they hit, anyways? Is tehre a fine related to misuse of the feature? It can't be cheap, between reparations to the ground of wherever the locker hits, the damage to the locker itself, and the fuel used to launch it. RWBY giving pursuit and not immediately throwing away the shoes is the most unbelievable thing that has happened yet in this show. I… what? I don't understand teh architecture here. Did Cinder run all the way back to beacon? is the tower connected to beacon? That cut was real strange. Still no background gays! No but guys RT was really forward thinking they were totally queer-minded and had planned bumblebee from the beginning, clearly caring about rep and all that! They just coudln't be bothered to spend a single minute making two men or two women dance.

On the Bees: WAIT IT'S CALLED BUMBLEBY? NOT BUMBLEBEE? WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME, I MUST HAVE LOOKED STUPID! I'm gonna keep calling it bumblebee, idgaf. anyways I think this may be the only time we see Jaune's knees? I'll keep you posted.

Ep 8: APOLLO JUSTICE TRILOGY WAS CRACKED! I WAITED FOR SO LONG!!!! What has that to do with RWBY? Uh, nothing. What was I doing? Oh right rewatching. Anyways- Never fully understood why Ruby wouldn't go to Ozpin about the info before. Sure they were breaking rules but sis this is a lot bigger than you four. The dog. Right. Forgot he existed. I will forget it again. How… how does war work in Remnant, anyways? If you take to a battlefield, Grimm would eventually overrun both forces. It'd be a three-way fight constantly. You'd think kingdoms in general wouldn't ever bother with war. Right? Ozpin giving the job to RWBY instead of a more experienced team could be considered as the reason it all fell apart really.

On the bees: I actually just finished ep 10 and thought this chapter's notes looked weird and that's cuz this episode had literally nothing despite ample chance and I forgot to add this section.

Ep 9: I like Ooblek or however that's written. He's never relevant again aftert his arc but this is how you make secondary characters memorable. "By giving them a gimmick?" Yes! That's actually exactly how you do it! Ace Attorney is an expert at this! Still don't like the dog. Also no huntsman we've ever seen has a dog, right? Weird. See, this seems to imply the Goliaths here are like, the same as Beowulfs or whatever that just lived that long. but… This is later retconned. As far as we know, Salem just creates whatever the hell she needs, and Grimm don't change forms over time. It does appear like they gain more armor over time… sometimes anyways. Like, they probably do grow within a single 'species', but these goliaths aren't any different than the newborns we see later. I also do like Ooblek's motivation. That is a valid reason to be a teacher in this shitty nonsensical world.

On the bees: They, uh. Talk. For like one minute. Weiss is also there.

Ep 10: I appreciate this conversation but here's the thing: Blake speaking of her semblance this way implies they're aware semblances are, well, tied to their characters. This isn't necessarily a problem, if maybe a bit on the nose, but then… wouldn't it also imply everyone should consider what their semblance means? What does Sun's semblance say about himself? That he's always willing to lend a hand? What about, idk, Pyrrha? How does metalbending (And yes, it's metalbending, not polarity, she makes shit levitate not just attract or repel from herself) tie to her personality? Is it just a reflection of her prodigious skill? You'd think it was the other way around. Yang's is obvious (She prefers rolling with the blows), Weiss's too (it's a hereditary semblance), and Ruby's… well, depending on whether we consider the V7/8 development a retcon or not it could change meaning, but let's say it's meant to represent how she's always rushing ahead. So, this being said, woudln't character development change one's semblance? It would be interesting, in fact. Maybe Ruby's semblance wasn't always what it later is, but her experiences changed it. Maybe the inconsistency in Yang's semblance is a reflection of this. I know I'm thinking too hard and nobody ever thought about it, but it's sort of a Jojo's stands situation. In Jojo, your stand is a manifestation of your soul and can develop alongside you. Ruby, girl, NEVER SPLIT THE PARTY. Ruby, girl, you have SUPER SPEED. HOW HAVE YOU NOT TRAINED YOURSELF TO ACTIVATE IT WHEN SHIT LIKE THAT HAPPENS TO YOU. Ruby, girl: you. have. SUPER. SPEED. RUN AWAY. I know he says he's stupid but he really kind of is. Wouldn't 'underground city' be the first place you look at when looking for crime organizations?

On the Bees: Uh… yang calls out to Blake first? Sure, let's go with that.

Ep 11: RUBY GIRL YOU HAVE S U P E R S P E E D RUN AWAY FUCKING HELL YOU'RE NOT EVEN TIED YOU JUST WOKE UP SO YOU CAN'T BE SPENT Jesus, FUCKING FINALLY WHY EVEN TRY TO FIGHT IF YOU'RE THIS USELESS. Which makes no sense, tbw. Crescent Rose, even if it was built with ultralight metals, would still require strenght to use just based on the recoil those shots have and the balance of the whole thing. Ruby should pack a punch. Anyways giving your MC super speed in any capacity is a problem because of shit like this. Superspeed is the most powerful of the 'basic' superpowers (That is: Strenght, Flight, Speed and Endurance. Most stories with superpowers include these 4 in some capacity and speed tends to be the most limited one). I like the bombs moment. It's pretty funny. See what I mean? Ruby shooting herself like that means her arms must take the recoil! Even if we take Aura into account this girl should be at least decently strong. I… could do without the dog moment. Like… it's just more offputting than anything else. Ooblek does take another paladin by himself, which is nice to see, in the 'oh yeah he's a step above the MCs' way. Why does Weiss suddenly give Blake the dust bullets? Why not before? Why not… idk, talk to her about it? Why even make them? Did Weiss ask for them? If so, again, why not give them to her before? I mean I know the answer is probably 'Monty fight scene had this thing and writers had to scramble to fill in the gap' but still. Why does Yang have that moment with Neo? They've only had that one 'interaction' which wasn't particularly personal before. See? The WF leader(?) here makes some sense. We know the Schnees have beef with the Faunus and the White Fang (That being, they're slaver pieces of shit and all that). And, uh, Blake against Roman is… I get what they're going for, but… Idk, I feel Ruby and Roman would've felt more natural. Given they do have that in V3 so I'll let it pass. Man, I love Roman so much. Have I said that before? The biggest crime in early RWBY is not giving him enough screentime, really. I love the theory that he doesn't even have Aura unlocked, since he's clearly not the best fighter out there, man's just very skilled at doing his job. Which doesn't often involve fighting wannabe hunter teenagers. It's why he's basically knocked out after so few blows. Weiss should do the 'haste' glyph thing a lot more often really. Action economy, girl! Everyone knows it's the key to win! I wish Neo had more of a… thing. Like, in general. Her fight against Yang is great, but how the hell did she get that skilled? Why's she working for Roman? Why does she care for Roman so much that she later becomes obsessed with killing Ruby so hard that when she thinks she's done she loses all purpose in life? Not really sure how to feel abotu Raven here. At least we got the Yang backstory to even explain there's something going on there but it feels so… random. And why is Neo so scared? What does she know? Why would she know it? SHE HAS NO BACKSTORY And THIS is why you want your general population with their fucking Aura unlocked!

On the Bees: Man the second Dual Destinies turnabout is kind of a chore so far. Like, I figured pretty much everything by the middle of the first day and I still got another day of investigation and trial to go through? I think the case could be improved considerably by just not showing the face of the killer. I know it's ace attorney tradition to show you the first couple of killers, but still. I like Simon well enough I guess. What happened to Gavin? I don't remember him being fired at the end of AJ.

Ep 12: Jaune taking command, nice. Was that foreshadowing for Ren's backstory? Honestly, not a huge fan of this fight. It's supposed to be super big in scale but I guess the budget didn't allow it? It also feels like it kinda lacks momentum. Also didn't we just spend like 3 episodes exploring Ruby doesn't have physical strength? Why's she kicking the Grimm like that? Don't get me wrong, this makes more sense, I'm just confused. I know it's a common complaint that team Coffee shows up here to steal the show for a bit, since they barely get any screentime ever. It's a fine complaint, understandable. I… actually kinda like it. Also ONE OF THE GUYS IS HOLDING OATHBRINGER. WHAT'S HIS NAME. GREEN GUY. Based. I feel like we should have seen a few adult hunters showing up, though. Non-teachers I mean. Huh. Ironwood did always have his sinister authoritarian vibes. I like that. I still love roman. And that ending dream thing huh. I'm sure the eventual meeting of these two will be totally worth it.

On the bees: Did you know I have written more Ami/Minori (from toradora) than the rest of the internet combined? Irrelevant to RWBY I just wanted to let you know.

For an extra this volume: I watched some of the shorts! I think these were the ones around by V2? Or maybe up to V3? Idk.

WoR "Dust": I assume V6 retroactively kind of explains Dust as the literal dust old humanity was turned into? Which is why it can interact with Aura? Very fucked up, but I like it. I'm on the fence on whether I think they had the creation myth figured by this point or not, but I do think they probably had the rough draft for it. Anyways this short doesn't really add much? It explains the 4 basic types and that you can mix them to make new ones, but everything else we probably could've figured ourselves.

WoR "Kingdoms": Ok so, Vacuo and Vale share a continent, while the other two are in split continets. Just taking note for later, not sure how relevant it becomes. In a worldbuilding sense, I don't think it's very reasonable to actually believe small towns could ever be built outside of big cities protected by natural barriers. Most people are clearly useless in a fight against Grimm, and honestly, just leaving the city shoudl be more than enough nervousness and doubt to attract hordes of them.

WoR "Grimm": Not much to say here, other than just generally wondering why Salem wouldn't just wipe out humanity herself sans a small amount of people who she could pin as Oz and the maidens. And don't say she couldn't have: If she can create that giant whale thing she could've done so a couple thousand years ago when technology wasn't so advanced. If you told me she was purposefully playing this game with Ozma, trying to keep it somewhat fair, I'd understand, but she clearly isn't. Oh well.

Anyways, I think I enjoyed this volume more than the last! Which is weird, I think people consider this to be the weakest of the first three. Idk, despite everything, I found the overall pacing to be slightly better, and we get some deeper info on our characters which is always appreciated. Not much else to say in general, but hey. Also yes, it's still a mess.

Also I'm fairly certain Pyrrha still not passing the bechdel test.

Also, if by any chance you're reading this, Crimson: 1) Why. Why do that to yourself. 2) Last volume you kept flipping your shit at me shipping whiterose and such (and other stuff but idrc about that). You seem to be unaware of the concept of chemistry. Ruby and Weiss are shippable because they have chemistry. Ruby and Penny are shippable because they have chemistry. Actually, all the characters I mentioned as potentially shippable displayed fair amounts of chemistry. And that's always my main concern with bumblebee. Sorry, but "vibing" while not interacting is very much NOT chemistry. It's kind of the opposite. Right now, with the information these two volumes have offered, I could write a lot of dynamics with a certain amount of ease. Bumblebee… not so much, because their interactions are still blank fucking slates. And I'm sorry to say this, but no, emptiness isn't 'complexity' or 'depth'. The only complex thing here is the fucking mental gymnastics you're doing to justify not only every bumblebee moment but also the show's writing as if it was flawless and perfect lmao.

#RWBY #RWTC #not tagging bees didn't spare me last time but maybe it will this time #anyways yes I will be doing this for each volume as long as my interest stays #we'll see how it goes

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minimomoe · 1 month

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In your fic 'not just neighbors' can we get a drabble of reader and logan being domestic and in love ?

Wash Day

the amount of asks I get for this fic makes me think I should have made it a longer fic instead of a oneshot lol. Of course you can have a drabble of them in love!!!

“Am I hurting you?”

You laughed softly at the question he asked about three times now, and each time you gave a reassuring “no.”

You stood in your shower with Logan’s frame behind you with a large detangling brush in hand. It was wash day, and you had spent the better part of the day taking down your hair. It was a tedious task, taking up many hours, but this time it didn’t feel so lonely as you had Logan to help you. He took to your instructions quickly, breaking apart the braids delicately despite his large fingers after carefully watching you demonstrate. You had told him that he didn’t need to worry about helping you, it was something you often did alone and didn’t mind, yet he was insistent.

With double the amount of hands you shaved off a couple of hours and headed to the bathroom. You excitedly told Logan about your favorite TV drama that you had to rewatch with him as you stripped down and turned to him to follow suit. That’s how you ended up in the shower with him. There was nothing inherently sexual about this encounter. You gave him an analysis of your favorite characters while he tenderly dragged the brush through your curls, trying his hardest not to yank on any snags.

“The interviewer is my favorite character by far. He represents the audience, someone who is only told the facts through anecdotes and has to determine what is important or not, except each perspective is important and ever changing.”

“And what about the girl? Do you ever hear the daughter’s story?” Logan asked gruffly. He was dutifully detangling the available section but clearly invested in your recap. Once he got to the end of your hair in an easy pass he combed his own fingers through your curls, making sure there were no knots. The steam that floated around was scented of shampoo, a slightly sweet aroma and you turned around to face him.

“No. We never get to hear her side of things. We only get her diaries, which are given in pieces, totally out of context from just about everybody else,” you sighed. You ran your own hands through your hair and gave Logan a surprised look. “You did a really good job.”

It was the heat of the shower that made his cheeks hot, Logan thought to himself, not the fact that he has an underutilized praise kink. He cleared his throat. “You’re the one who told me what to do.”

“Come on, hot stuff, don’t sell yourself short,” you said with a smile. “This is probably the fastest wash day I have had in years.”

You slipped your arms around his waist, dragging him a few short steps closer. You stood up on your tiptoes, your lips ghosting his mouth as he bent down to try to kiss you but you were playful, pulling away at the very last second with a giggle. He eventually pressed you up against the cool tiles of the shower, needy for your kiss and you gave in, and your lips finally touched. His hands curved around your body, wanting to eliminate any space between the two of you. When he finally finally gave you enough space to breathe you let out a nervous laugh. He never failed to make your heart race like it wanted to jump out of your chest.

“Will that come with every service?”

“Get in the water before you get cold,” he nudged. He switched your positions, placing you under the spray of the water he was blocking with his back and watched the suds drip down your glistening body. It was moments like this, mundane occurrences that would replicate themselves a million times over that Logan loved the most with you. He kissed your shoulder and you hummed contentedly.

“Thank you,” you said unexpectedly. “Not just for this but in general. I don’t know if I say it enough.” You looked at him over your shoulder and he placed another kiss on your lips.

“I love you,” he stated. It was meant just for you, holding the weight of the world in those three words. He conveyed so much more when you looked in his dark eyes, a promise of a million more slices of heaven like this to love you through. It was the first time either of you had said it to each other and you felt heat rush through your whole body. You blinked up at him nodding, barely holding back the emotions building up in your chest.

“I love you too.”

can you guess what show I slipped in there?

check out Not Just Neighbors (Logan x Reader) for the whole story!! Thanks for reading xx

M.list || Ao3 || Twitter

#minimoe #logan howlett x reader #x black reader #black fem reader #logan howlett #wolverine x reader #deadpool and wolverine #logan howlett x fem!reader #logan howlett fluff #deadpool 3 #momoe drabbles #mimi speaks

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spotifypromotion11 · 1 year

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lee-scribbles-and-doodles · 3 years

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I decided to give I Am Not Starfire a chance and... frankly I personally didn't like it that much. I don't hate it, but I'm also probably never going to reread it. I'm going to make this semi-review/reaction as fair as I can. Also these are just my opinions, so if you disagree with them just take them with a grain of salt and move on.

So one red flag that DID get obliterated was Mandy's last name being Koriand'r. It's, thankfully, just Anders. Not sure if this was changed mid production due to backlash or if the ad makers just screwed it up, but whatever.

Just 11 pages in (4 of which are the cover and credits) Mandy is already slutshaming her own mother for the way she dresses. /sarcasm/ Great way to get you to like the character. /sarcasm/

Starfire has an absolutely hideously drawn thigh gap in her introduction page.

Just about the only thing the comic does right in depicting teenagers is Mandy and her friend Lincoln, who both seem dedicated to being edgelords, incorrectly labeling themselves anarchists despite being the typical anti-establishment type teen. I knew and do know a lot of teens who act like this. Any other attempts to write teens here are, frankly, cringe worthy.

This Starfire is clearly based on her 2003 counterpart, which seems odd because this book is marketed towards teens, and that show aired and ended in 2006. For context, I'm 24 now, and that show would have ended when I was about 9. I'm just barely a Gen z. Most people who are actually teens right now would primarily associate this Starfire's characterization with the TT Go! spinoff... which I believe has the target audience of 4-7 year olds. It just seems like a weird decision to not go with her comic personality in this context.

The narrative very directly tries to compare the conflict between Star and Mandy as being similar to that of immigrant parents and their children... which I guess is there, but the story itself doesn't do much with that premise. Unfortunate, as I feel more focus on that could have actually made the story interesting.

Mandy is an extremely toxic person, as she's one of those "I'm not like other girls" characters, and that makes her very hard for me to sympathize with.

I've seen defenders go "Of course she's toxic she's a teenager" but like... the narrative clearly wants us to sympathize with her, but her behaviour at certain points makes that extremely difficult. She's mean to literally everyone other than Lincoln, often for no reason whatsoever.

Just about the only thing that I'm able to sympathize with her is some of her classmates harassing her about the Titans, and the fat phobic comments she gets. However, that can only justify her behaviour to a certain extent.

The sad thing is I WANT to like Mandy, as it's rare to get fat lesbians (or fat wlw in general) in media but she's just so... ugh, at points. She's also fairly generic in terms of female YA protagonists. I feel like I've seen her a million times, with the only difference being she's not straight.

Her completely blowing up over a selfie that Claire took is stupid. She doesn't even bother to explain why it upsets her, she just yells at this poor girl and storms off. Claire is then the one to be made to apologize, despite Mandy's blatant over reaction and unwillingness to communicate.

The way the story uses Gen z stereotypes to try to relate to its audience is the kind of thing I found extremely cringy when I was teenager. Judging from some reviews I've read written by actual teens, the feeling seems to be present here for the target audience to at least some extent.

(Think how 90s cartoons and teen sitcoms had an overabundance of skateboarding and rap to try and be "cool with the kids." Yeah, it's like that but with social media and boba tea).

"It's not fun, it's hamlet" is an actually legitimately funny line imo.

Also her bird is cute.

I like Claire's fruit backpack.

Honestly, one of the only genuinly positive things I can say about this is that I like the overall art style.

For some reason Blackfire decides to attempt to kill Kori and Mandy at her school instead of taking them to Tamaran? Petty queen, ig.

Blackfire is extremely underutilized. She spends the majority of the comic spying on Mandy before the big fight.

Mandy, at the very least acknowledges she was a shitty daughter towards the end, and seems to be making attempts to be less so in the epilogue.

Her new superhero costume is lame tbh. It's just typical goth clothes with bracelets and a tiara.

Still kind of annoyed that Claire had to apologize over a selfie and that Mandy's over reaction wasn't really called out.

Other than the selfie thing, Mandy's crush on Claire is cute.

So basically, not nearly as terrible as I was worried it was going to be, but it's otherwise pretty standard YA that doesn't do much new aside from being connected with DC Comics. If you're into that kind of thing, it'll be a pretty standard read but otherwise not super remarkable imo.

Side Note: Raven is pretty in this.

Also, she and Gar snuggling is cute.

ALSO, absolutely obsessed with this image of Gar.

What the dog doing?

#i am not starfire #mandy anders #kori anders #koriand'r #kory anders #starfire #raven #rachel roth #gar logan #garfield logan #beast boy #changeling #victor stone #cyborg #dick grayson #nightwing #komand'r #blackfire

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thebad---catholic · 4 years

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My problems with AOS

Well here I am, 10 years late with an opinion no one asked for, but I have to write this down and throw into the void so that I can be at peace. I’ve been salty about this film franchise for a very long time now. This will mostly focus on Star Trek (2009) with the other two movies sprinkled in.

1. Starfleet

Honestly where do I even begin? In TOS, Starfleet was modeled after the navy (idk how accurately, but Roddenberry was in the air force so I’m assuming he’d know how all that works). You can get a feel for the chain of command, and everything feels natural with character ages and things like that. There’s a procedure for everything.

AOS Starfleet feels more like a high school club than an interplanetary exploration organization. Jim is supposed to be twenty-five when he gets the rank of captain- after he was almost expelled for cheating. He has no idea how to operate or run a starship. TOS Kirk moved through the ranks of Starfleet and was promoted on merit and leadership skills- he worked for his position.

Why was Jim the only person who knew what was happening when Nero showed up? Was there any requirements to joining to Starfleet other than get on the shuttle? Why did the linguist not know the difference between Vulcan and Romulan when they’re the linguist? How did Pike bypass the chain of command to appoint Jim Kirk as First Officer which was an obvious show of favoritism to someone was about to be thrown out of the academy? Why the fuck was he allowed to keep the title of captain? What the fuck?

Speaking of Jim.

2. Jim Kirk’s Character

I...don’t like Jim’s character in this film. It’s not terrible for a younger version of Kirk, but like I said though, there’s no reason Kirk should be this young. And in this one he’s just kinda a douche.

We know from TOS that Kirk gets around, but he genuinely cares for his exes, and in general respects women. He uses sex appeal as a strategy, but more than anything this comes off as a subversion of the femme fatal trope bc Kirk is a man. In the movie, he’s just a standard action movie protag who has lots of sex just because.

The scene when the Orion woman says she loves him and he replied “that’s so weird” is just...so weird? Like I can’t imagine Kirk doing anything in that situation than backing off and explaining that he doesn’t feel the same way. The scene continues with him hiding under the bed when Uhura walks in. Watching how the camera angle makes Jim out to be a voyeur made me uncomfortable then and it still does. It could be explained that Jim is trying to figure out Uhura’s identity or that he’s listening in and people look at who they’re listening to but like...she was in her underwear. You shouldn’t look at people while they’re getting undressed, especially when they don’t even know you’re there? Is that a hot take? Apparently.

In TOS there’s this really nice scene in This Side of Paradise(S1E24) where the whole crew is high (again) and has abandoned ship, leaving Kirk to tend to things. We see Jim move around the ship with a little clip pad and make the proper checks. This is a captain who knows his stuff. That is the Kirk we should have seen if we’re going to see Jim become captain.

AOS kirk goes through a standard “stop being an asshole” arc commonplace for male protagonists, but this happens well past the point he should stop being an asshole. Either the AOS series should’ve been a prequel with Jim becoming captain at the end of the trilogy, or he should’ve been older with a completely different arc- maybe coming to terms with his rank? Imposter syndrome? Learning to trust his crew and building trust with them? Building a friendship with Spock and McCoy? There’s a lot to work with here.

3. Spock and Uhura’s relationship

Why. Like why. For what. Por Que.

I like giving Uhura a bigger role, I don’t like making her a love interest to do that.

It doesn’t make sense for either of their characters. Lieutenant Nyota Uhura, linguist expert who handles all transmissions to and from the enterprise- an icon of black women’s representation is now demoted to Spock’s nagging girlfriend. This bothers me more than a little bit.

It manages to make even less sense for Spock. A hallmark of Spock’s character is his duality. He struggles to combat his emotions and the human half of him. His repeating character arc in TOS is coming to terms with humanity while upholding the Vulcan way of life. Having him in an established romantic relationship before this arc is supposed to happen just makes for a boring romantic subplot about a relationship that shouldn’t happen and that I don’t care about.

TOS Vulcan culture is kinda shitty. Explicitly patriarchal and stuff, and also kinda racist against humans. The source of Spock’s inner conflict is not himself but a society that views him as lesser for being half human. However, one thing that I can certainly understand from a “logical” (logic in quotations bc racism and sexism is fucking stupid) people is ritualized arranged marriages. It just...makes sense to me that Vulcans would simply have their mates chosen for them and then marry that person and be done with it. Neat. Logical. Conformity.

This makes Spock and Uhura’s relationship even stranger. Why would Spock go so against conformity that he dates someone before he truly comes to terms with himself? Even if they throw out ponfarr and arranged marriage, it still doesn’t work but now it especially doesn’t work.

My personal theory is that Spock and Uhura’s relationship was established purely to make shippers shut up. It’s no secret Spirk is the most popular ship from TOS. I have no doubt they knew this while writing the movie. So to quietly wrap a no homo on Spock and Kirk’s friendship, they use Uhura as a prop to do so.

The teacher/student dynamic should only be relegated to fan fiction and the throwaway line about oral sensitivity makes me cringe. Every. Time.

4. McCoy

Karl Urbans performance is easily my favorite part of this movie. He captures DeForrest Kelley so well it hurts. He made Leonard Nimoy cry. His chemistry with Pine made McKirk go from the most underrated triumvirate ship in TOS to rival Spirks popularity in AOS. His scenes with Zachary Quinto are just *chefs kiss*.

So why doesn’t he have more of a role? The triumvirate is missing a third.

In particular, there’s a scene where Uhura, Kirk, and Spock make their way down to a planet to talk to a Klingon. I can’t remember which movie it was or why, but Spock and Uhura were bickering and Kirk remarks “can we do this later?”

The line was funny. It would’ve been golden if it was McCoy and not Uhura.

A fantastic performance by an underutilized character in a movie where that character should’ve been at the forefront.

5. Representation

I am skeptical of any movie that advertises diversity. Nonetheless, it made me happy to know Sulu was going to be gay. This is Star Trek after all, known for its diversity and large LGBT fan base, and an homage to George Takai who’s a gay man irl. So whatever.

The fact that I wasn’t expecting much says a lot about the current state of LGBT rep in media but this blink-and-you-miss-it shit is really starting to get to me.

I mean he jus- he doesn’t even give his husband a KISS. Like why.

6. Destroying Vulcan

WHY. Oh god why.

This isn’t Star Wars, JJ. We don’t do that here.

Imploding Vulcan was the most god awful shock value bullshit plot device I’ve ever seen in a movie and it was done entirely to make Spock sad. Besides the gaping plot hole of “why did Nero go back in time to destroy Vulcan when he could’ve just saved Romulus” I’m just grasping to find a purpose for this particular event. New fans don’t care at all about Vulcan while I was enraged that they would do Amanda that dirty.

It’s not just that they did that, it’s more that they did it like that. Vulcan’s destruction should’ve caused a federation wide meltdown as the biggest catastrophe in the entire franchise. If they were gonna make the stakes so pointlessly high, they should’ve treated the destruction of Vulcan exactly how they would treat the destruction of earth. There a million ways to treat that event with more gravity and million better plot lines that don’t involve G E N O C I D E

7. Miscellaneous petty bullshit because I’m a baby

-lower the fucking stakes Jesus Christ

-Don’t like the set. It’s bright and white and boring and gives me a headache. You don’t need a remake of the old set but like have fun ya know? Shit looks like an Apple store.

-Christine and I are the same in that we are both soft and are thirsty for Spock. Imagine my surprise to learn she wasn’t fucking there. Same with Janice but I’m more pressed about Christine. I don’t even remember the name of that blonde doctor lady who is Not Christine but i didn’t want her.

-The costumes in AOS look boring but still don’t feel like a uniform either. I deadass think Chris Pines outfit in the SNL skit looked better than the actual movie (minor adjustments needed)

-I didn’t notice this at first but someone pointed out that women’s uniforms don’t signify rank and now I can’t not see it. I don’t...think this movie treats women good? Or McCoy? Or just people who deserve better?

-Lens Flare

-I get why they did it but I don’t like that they misquoted the opening theme to say “no one” instead of “no man”. I probably wouldn’t have even notice except they gave the line to Uhura. Comes off as just a touch too “yay feminism” which is really rich coming from that treated Uhura like an object to be looked at when she wasn’t too busy being Spock’s emotional support gf, and completely cut two women from the main cast.

8. Conclusions

If I could describe these movies in one word it’d be generic. Which sucks because Star Trek far from generic.

They’re fun to watch but not think about. It was nice that I got to see a Star Trek movie in theaters. I just wish it as the same Trek I saw on TV.

#star trek the original series #star trek tos #star trek aos #star trek alternate original series #jj abrams #jim kirk #captain kirk #dr mccoy #bones mccoy #spock #mr spock #lt uhura #nyota uhura #hikaru sulu #star trek #star trek headcanon #trekkie #trekker #star trekkin

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retphienix · 3 years

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Phasmophobia maps ranked (totally objective, no opinions here, super srs, psyche gottem it's all opinions)

Brownstone High School

I won't sugar coat it, I didn't even bother going inside for a screenshot for this entry because I hate high school.

Now to be fair, I'm down to play high school whenever, I want to get better at it and I believe that should speed things up a bit and make it more fun.

And HS is the map I think of when I think of running a full 4 man!

But beyond a full 4 man HS is too big, too boring, and too annoying to solve.

It's long hallway with a million rooms after long hallway with a million rooms after small reprieve of finding a science lab or gym followed by long hallway with a million rooms followed by going upstairs to do it all over again.

THERE ARE TOO MANY CLASSROOMS AND I KNOW THAT'S THE POINT

But when the gameplay revolves around finding the room where the ghost is hanging around having these many rooms AND hallways can really drag things out.

Now to be honest, when you have the room on lockdown it's a fun map to maneuver and solve!

So if you walk in the front door and hear something fall over in a specific direction it immediately becomes more playable!

But if you walk in and the ghost is being a quiet asshole then you're in for the least fun you can have in phasmo in my opinion.

Just a bunch of "PLEASE DO SOMETHING" shouting and holding your EMF or thermo practically begging for something to happen.

Bottom tier, worst map, don't like it.

It doesn't even have unique collectibles to make up for the fact that it's a big map so you won't find the bone!

Hardly necessary (though I argue all maps need those) but definitely worth dropping a mention on top of being hallway simulator.

Too many rooms and boring hallways out of 9

Edgefield Street House

Edge honestly doesn't deserve to be next to HS but someone had to be and Edge gets the dishonor purely because it's the most middling map in the game.

Edge is fine.

Edge is passable.

Edge is simple and clean.

Edge isn't exciting is the problem, but it is still a fun one.

The houses aren't renown for being the most interesting; Their job is to be middling and accessible and they get the job done just fine. Edge just happens to be the most middling.

With a first floor that's underutilized, I mean the ghost is in the kitchen if they are here at all let's be real.

Garage is meh, living room is a rare spot for anything to happen, there's a weird back exit area that is never used ever for anything?

First floor is clearly an afterthought for the ghost but it gets the job done.

I actually really dig the basement layout, but I've never once seen a ghost spawn there lol. It's mostly just a place to turn on the power and hide in the locker and that's fine.

The 'star' of Edge is the upstairs which has roughly 9 billion rooms and locations for you to hide, scientists are still counting the exact amount.

You want the blunt end of that?

It's entirely playable- it's safe as hell even since there's a closet every 3 inches- but it's not the most interesting thing for an entire map to be "Go upstairs, look at the 15 doors because one is probably about to open for you and that's the ghost room"

Runs of Edge are a bit too 'samey' since so much of the real-estate is upstairs and it's so dense.

Edge is fine. The most 'passable' map in rotation that I won't complain about but I'm never stoked to head to.

Passable out of 9

Asylum

I'll be honest and say I'm not being thorough with asylum.

It's among my least played, but that doesn't mean my least enjoyed.

It's got a really fun reverb on voices, it's genuinely fun to wander through, but it just feels some strange level of 'too big' while still being... not that?

I dunno how to say it.

But the 1st floor is annoying to clear out with its layout and sure that's inexperience talking-

While the bottom floor is fun due to the aesthetic but it's in a weird place of being overly simplistic.

The bottom floor is just a big hallway with rooms on either side.

That's not the most interesting layout- though it is fun to hide down there, with bathrooms and other makeshift spots to hide behind in most rooms which makes the hallway less threatening.

Asylum is weird, the layout goes between annoying and overly simple between the two floors and it feels too 'wide' for what it has to offer.

AND YET

I like aslyum.

I never play it, but I like it.

Shweppsi out of 9

Tanglewood Street House

Tangle we all know it and what's there to say.

A little bit, to be honest :)

It's the smallest map around and it's a great first map to learn the ropes.

Tangle's strongest feature is its layout- it's both interesting and fun to experience in multiple runs.

I love the little trio of rooms (and bathrooms/closet space) on the left side of the house, the way it's a little mini hallway for two of them (and a bathroom), then deeper in to the left of the living room is the master bedroom, I dig that.

I dig the garage too, the way it's connected to a laundry room feels really nice, but let's be honest every ghost ever in Tangle is in the kitchen.

Sure that's not literally true and I've had a ton in the first room on the left or the bathroom on the left, but that kitchen is where every run on Tangle ends up- with everyone hanging out asking for the ghost to show themselves.

Also the basement is lame, nothing ever happens there and there's no real hiding from what I can tell, just run upstairs to one of the closets.

All said, you take the good design with the bad of being so small every run feels about the same and you end up with Tangle.

I really like Tangle as a beginner map and to revisit for the layout, but I won't lie, kitchen ghosts here are lame and common.

Still not bad enough to outweigh the good, Tangle is a winner.

Tutorial out of 9

Grafton Farmhouse

Once upon a time Grafton was my favorite farmhouse but, well, it's here and the other hasn't been mentioned yet.

Grafton is one of those maps with few "locker" style hiding spots, but unlike a lot of the other maps that emphasize hiding behind things I just never feel comfortable hiding on Grafton- and not in a tense way, in a "The AI is gonna ignore this and walk around and peer out the window for no reason which will prompt it to see me anyway, won't it?" kind of way.

There are some lockers in the storage upstairs now which is nice because the ghost spawns there like 80% of the time.

First floor : Left is dining/kitchen/and a back room. Between those the kitchen is pretty popular for the ghost but also is a spot where orb ghosts can be assholes who hide their orbs for no reason.

Right side is a living room, two bedrooms, and a laundry room, these are some pretty nice spots for the ghost to be because there ARE hiding spots, but their accessibility kinda depends on where in any of these rooms the ghost decides to spawn, making the hunts pretty fun.

Genuinely this right side of the first floor is a win, I dig this area and when the ghost hangs out here.

Upstairs has a shitty terrible awful room where you die (far left), a bathroom where nothing ever happens, and a room with an attached back room/storage that the ghost LOVES to be in to an obscene degree.

Grafton is fine all around, a good hunt location, but really it's where the hiding spots are and where the ghost likes to be that make it just less fun for me.

It's almost always "Upstairs back room / Kitchen / Left Bedroom on first floor" and the repetition of my luck makes it less fun. (though, again, that bedroom is fine because that cluster of rooms is a fun one).

At least there's voodoo dolls out of 9

Ridgeview Road House

Ridge is cool!

It's easy as hell but it's just nicely divvied up, it's one of those maps that benefits from having a very nice layout that leads to games feeling very different depending on the ghost room.

I like the basement, but nothing ever happens there I swear.

The first floor as a whole has some nice spots, anything on the left can be hidden away in the garage lockers (which are at the far end which makes it a little tense which is nice!)

Anything on the right is a little less safe feeling because that back room is terrible, honestly safer to run upstairs to a closet.

And finally anything upstairs is standard house affair- a ton of hiding closets and a good amount of rooms but not 9 billion rooms like Edge.

Ridge is nice. It's small, easy, and well spaced.

Strong layout out of 9

Willow Street House

Willow really is small as sin, but I dig the look a lot.

I also like how hiding is a 'behind furniture' affair unlike a lot of the other houses with their plentiful closets.

My favorite area is the basement, which sadly makes for a less than stellar photo, but I love the multiple rooms in the basement and the lighting in those rooms.

Upstairs has a very different feel from the other houses which does a lot for making it feel fresh as well, definitely the most immediate thing most will notice when playing it since Tange/Ridge/Edge all feel the same due to the aesthetic they carry.

All in all it's my favorite house right now, but I'm curious on its lasting power for that.

It definitely helps that the map is built around hiding spots instead of hiding closets because it's a lot more fun crouching behind a dryer or cutting corners to get behind a dresser than it is to just hold a door shut and know you're effectively immortal as long as you don't talk.

Between the aesthetic and the unique layout it's come this high on my list WHILE being a bit buggy from being brand new, so that says something at least.

A joy to hunt on out of 9

Bleasdale Farmhouse

One of the two farmhouses and for a while my lesser fave, but it's grown on me the more I've played it.

Bleas doesn't emphasize lockers as much as hiding behind changing 'curtain' deals and after giving it a shot, it grew on me a lot- probably my favorite form of hiding spot because you can often still see the ghost as they come right up to you and walk away.

The highlights of Bleas will always be the immensely safe back room where the breaker can spawn- there are lockers here and it makes a fairly safe cut away for most events on the first floor because most events on the first floor are in the kitchen/dining area anyway with the rest of the first floor mostly being dormant in my runs.

The terrible terrible terrible attic which I hate and love at the same time.

it has hiding spots but whenever I have to use them it's highly unlikely I make it to them in time.

It's just a terrible place to be.

And the second floor is a pretty great one tbh! Mostly because there's a nice central hiding spot and the entire area is divided up pretty nicely for ghost stuff- unless you get hallway, fuck when it's hallway. It's the WHOLE hallway as far as I can tell and that's just stupid!

Bleas is a winner for sure, definitely beats the likes of Edge with ease, there's never a dull time hiding behind the privacy curtains- oh and this map has voodoo dolls! I firmly believe all the maps need more collectibles so this one having some is a boon for sure

"We got fingerprints on all the windows in the kitchen!!!" out of 9

Prison

TIME FOR THE BEST BOY!

PRISON!!!!

How to explain it.

When I started Phasmo my least favorite maps were the bigger ones, I hated feeling lost and like the ghost took too long to find all while the houses were fast and easy to understand.

But then I tried Prison and everything changed.

Talk about a beautifully laid out big map!

The sounds, the various hotspots, the fact that it's somehow big as hell without ever feeling too big and empty- I love prison.

Gushing aside, Prison is basically split up into 3 segments.

Main building, A block, B block.

And the unfortunate truth of prison is that the Main building is where most action seems to happen... doubled down with the truth that if the ghost IS in either block then they are significantly more dangerous to occasionally unfair degrees.

Yet despite that it consistently ends up being the most fun map for me to play through!

It all comes down to layout. The main building has a lot of little 'segments' which encourage you to run during a hunt differently, and the blocks are intimidating in their own way because going upstairs in them feels like signing your will.

I'd love to say more, but it's just the most fun one, so that's that.

Best map out of 9... I heard a cell door open, let's get towards A block.

I know it's just a random post of mine and all but hey, what's your take on the maps?

I'd like to hear what some arguments for other faves might be- especially if someone is a die hard HS fan, lol.

#RetPlays #Phasmophobia

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traincat · 4 years

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Hi traincat! Hope you're doing well. I figured since you have an extensive knowledge on all things Spider-Man, you would know your way around his rogues! I wanted to ask if you have a favorite or one that you find most compelling and why. Thanks a million!

I think my answers for which rogues are my favorites and which I find most compelling and which are widely viewed as the best and why are all pretty wildly different. I do think the popular assessment that Spider-Man has one of the best rogues galleries in Marvel canon is true. Like, I think the absolute best Spider-Main villain story -- the one that gives you the best sense of the villain as a character and also the one that works best at uniting villain and is Kraven’s Last Hunt, which is just incredible on every level. (Content warning for suicide.)

(Web of Spider-Man #32) Also, like, in terms of design, Kraven is great. Love a big Russian game hunter perpetually bare chested and wearing leopard print cropped leggings. That’s not something you get sick of. Only Kraven Sr. for me, though -- I’m less fond of his son, although I think the whole family affairs in Grim Hunt and Scarlet Spider v2 are pretty fun.

On the other hand, though, I think that some of the biggest villains in Spider-Man’s gallery, namely Norman Osborn and Doc Ock, are overused, although I know why they’re overused and it’s because they’re really good villains. (But also you can only make people pay for the same story so many times with only minor variations before it starts to get old.) I think Norman and Peter are pretty perfect opposites, whereas Otto and Peter are mirror images -- although I think generally Norman stories pull off that opposite nature better than Otto stories reveal him as a mirrored image of Peter.

I think it’s interesting that Otto is kind of the first “big” villain Peter encounters -- he makes his debut in ASM #3, so there are villains that come before him, but they’re like, the Vulture and the Chameleon. And there are great Vulture stories -- love that flying octogenarian -- but like, I would not put the Vulture in the absolute top tier Spider-Man villains. And the Chameleon is a freak.

Same, girl. (Web of Spider-Man #65)

More villain talk beneath the cut.

By comparison, Otto is the first villain to actually serve Peter a real defeat, the first one to humble him. So I think it’s interesting that they come from very similar backgrounds -- both geniuses, both lonely as children, both people who were in danger of becoming very solitary, isolated adults, which Otto did and which Peter did not. They had a mother figure who verged on at times or was actually smothering in her affections, and a salt of the earth type father figure. And Otto gains his powers after suffering an accident with radiation much the same way Peter does. It’s one of the things that disappoints me about Superior Spider-Man, because I don’t think it plays into the idea of Otto and Peter as mirrored images of each other nearly as much as it could have. Even Otto’s Parker Industries originally showed up in a “bad” version of Peter’s life, where he never got bit by the spider and instead becomes a CEO:

(Sensational Spider-Man #41) “You prove yourself to everyone -- except yourself.” Which is what Otto is continually trying to do, and which is what he always falls short of. So it’s interesting that there’s kind of all this set up here and that the actual comics sort of continually fall short of it.

Green Goblin stories live up to their rep a little better, in my opinion, and they’re better at playing into those parallels. Norman and Peter are both self-made men, but Norman is rich and Peter is not. Peter accepts responsibility and fault; Norman does not. Norman’s life is devoid of women, while Peter’s is full of it. If Norman and Peter are both studies in masculinity, then Norman’s is toxic and Peter’s is not. Peter is capable of growth; Norman is entrenched in this role he’s made for himself -- he is not capable of sustained growth beyond the role he’s made for himself. There’s a reason I think Norman gets used so much and it’s because it’s a heady dynamic to kind of play into -- especially when you go with the relatively more recent angle of things where Norman kind of views Peter as the perfect heir, worthy where Harry is not. Honestly, it’s a good time whenever you’re involving Harry in the mix at all, as someone caught between these two very powerful figures and how the tug-of-war there for ownership of him is just completely soul destroying.

(Spectacular Spider-Man #180)

But I do think Norman is overused, and it’s gotten a point where in Amazing Spider-Man #800 it was like -- oh, what, he’s going to kill Flash? He’s going to kill someone else Peter loves? He’s killed like half the main-main cast at this point. He’s behind the murder of Peter and Mary Jane’s baby, he’s responsible for Ben Reilly’s death, he killed Gwen Stacy, Harry’s death goes directly back to him, he’s kidnapped May and Mary Jane and Flash and blah blah blah it’s JUST TOO MUCH. It can’t always be this one guy! You can’t just bring him back every 50 issues like “this time Norman Osborn’s gone too far” when he went too far in the ‘70s. Everything since then has just been trying to recapture the moment he threw Gwen Stacy off the bridge. It’s exhausting. I’m begging Spider-Man, as it starts hyping up yet another Norman story for ASM #850, to do something new.

In comparison to Norman, I think Harry’s run as the Green Goblin is fairly flawlessly executed as far as villain stories go, especially in its final hour. Spectacular Spider-Man #200 is really one of my favorite single issues of all time. Harry has the pathos that Norman really never does -- you can feel for Harry in a way that you can’t feel for Norman. And it’s because Harry loves Peter -- really, truly loves him -- that his acts of villainy take on that special edge of cruelty. It doesn’t just hurt Peter that these things are being done; it hurts Peter that these are being done and that it’s Harry doing them and that, in a lot of ways, they both blame Peter for why Harry is doing them, even if at the end of the day it’s in no way Peter’s fault. And then there’s the utterly perfect moment as Harry dies in Spectacular Spider-Man #200, that his act of triumph is that he can’t bring himself to kill Peter, because he loves him too much. It’s perfect. I live in fear they’re going to make Harry a villain again and try to replicate it only to fall painfully short.

I think the Jackal is actually underutilized because he is in my honest opinion the scariest Spider-Man villain, or at the very least the creepiest. Where Norman can only dream of remaking Spider-Man in his own image, the Jackal actually does that with Ben Reilly -- and, to a lesser extent, with Kaine, his first damaged clone. He’s a good lurker, too, less show-y than either Otto or Norman. He lurked in the background for a while. And in a series where I think you can pick a lot of the villains apart as men who take advantage of their power, having the Jackal be a college professor whose villainous career stems from his obsession with one of his students fits right in. And he’s just creepy. He’s upsetting! The things he does to the clones -- both the Peter and Gwen clones, although I think the comics are not so great at letting the Gwen clones shine as individual characters, which is something I wish someone would actually do something about -- are very upsetting, especially since you can extrapolate from a lot of Kaine’s stories and the things we know bother him and how he’s consistently paralleled against Janine Godbe, that both Kaine and the Gwen clones were sexually abused by the Jackal. (Spider-Man’s not typically shy about examining darker subjects, and while we can only extrapolate from canon with Kaine, it’s extremely there on the surface with the Gwen clones. I mean, he married one.) And honestly, the villain who’s whole schtick is cloning makes more sense as someone who can repeatedly come back from anything than Norman’s deal of Corrupt Businessman Surprisingly Hard To Kill. I’ve said before that Peter appears to have a bit of a loophole in his personal moral code when it comes to violence that either has no consequences or lessened consequences, like when he cuts loose against Wolverine, someone who has a healing factor, or when he buried the Juggernaut, supposedly indestructible, in concrete. The Jackal as someone who could and has clone himself repeatedly opens up similar doorways -- what’s to stop Peter from cutting loose if the Jackal isn’t confined to this one body? There’s a lot to play with there and a lot more interesting spaces to go than, say, having to invent increasingly poor excuses for why Peter hasn’t taken more permanent action with Norman if Norman is always going to return to do harm to someone beloved to Peter.

Finally, I’m in a weird spot with personal favorite villains because honestly my instinct is to say the Lizard. And that’s an issue because of one fairly recent storyline and everything that’s spun out from it: Shed (Amazing Spider-Man #630-633), the storyline where Curt Connors loses all control over the Lizard, kills, and partially devours his son Billy. Like, I LIKE grim dark Spider-Man comics, and Shed is honestly too much for me -- not because of the Lizard’s actions, but because in the story Peter fails to save Billy. And I say not because of the Lizard’s actions because I think, as fun as a giant lizard man in purple pants and a lab coat can be, I think Curt Connors makes for one hell of a supervillain metaphor for domestic violence.

(ASM #365)

(Spectacular Spider-Man v2 #13) And it’s very compelling. There’s a lot of things to explore down that alley. But once you actually go as far as having the Lizard kill his son, you can’t take that back. And the problem is, that’s what Spider-Man comics have tried to do post-Shed. It feels weird and deeply out of character to have writers assume that Peter could forgive the murder of any child, let alone a child he knew, and have him continue his relationship with Curt Connors. It’s a weird message to go “yeah, he ate his kid, but he wasn’t in control, and he made up for it via cloning, so we’re all good now.” Like imagine trying to spin that in any horror movie. It doesn’t work -- that your villain kills his kid and then clones him and pretends everything is okay now would be the plot of the horror movie. Spider-Man is a series fundamentally built on the fact that actions have consequences, and sometimes those consequences are utterly unfixable. Peter can’t go back and intercept the burglar to prevent Uncle Ben’s death. He can’t clone Uncle Ben and wipe that incident out of history. So to have a story like Shed in continuity as something that doesn’t alter Peter’s perception of Curt Connors forever doesn’t work.

Anyway that’s why my favorite villain is the Shocker. Love that quilted bastard.

#traincat talks comics #*replies #long post/

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thinkingbookthoughts · 4 years

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Strange the Dreamer, post read thoughts.

I just finished it last night, and hoo boy was it a read. This is the first book I’ve read by Laini Taylor, and it’s got me wanting to read more. I’m starting Muse of Nightmares tonight or tomorrow, and maybe after that the Daughters of Smoke and Bone trilogy. Anyway, [spoilers probably]:

First off, I don’t care for fantasy. I tend to have little patience for made up words (yes, I know all words are made up, you know what I mean) and hyper detailed world building. I enjoy the fantastical, but fantasy as a genre generally bores me to tears. I don’t want to read about fake cultures when I could be learning about real ones. That’s personal taste, whatever. Taylor however, writes it almost exactly the way I want to read it. She dips occasionally into exposition dumps, but I find it nowhere near as tiresome as the typical Tolkienesque approach. Even then, I’m interested. She’s created such a wonderful world that I want to know whatever she’s going to give me, and uncovering some new detail feels like a treat, not a slog. My eyes still glaze over at all the made up words and politics, but everything else makes up for it.

What keeps this book interesting to me is definitely not the plot though. I have no major issues with it, it’s fine, whatever. But it falls into the category of legendary fantasy tale that generally I have no interest in. Hero’s journey and all that. I find it boring. Again, personal taste, whatever. I tend to enjoy character driven more than plot driven anyway, and this book is absolutely character driven. The story itself is so simple I might even go so far as to call it formulaic, but the people who carry it are something else. When their hearts break, so does yours. I won’t lie, she does go for some easy gut punches, but they do still feel earned and in their place. She’s not afraid to let you dislike her heroes. Except maybe Lazlo, I’ll talk more about him later (though I feel like the sequel may challenge him more). Most of the people that we grow to like are complicated. They’ve done terrible things, or harbor toxic beliefs, but they’re also justified to a certain extent. And to what extent that is, is left up to you.

She does kind of beat you over the head with her themes, but I mean, this is technically YA. It’s not terribly clumsy, you just find yourself wanting to go, “OK I get it! Move on!” every once in a while. But that’s a hard line to toe as a writer, and as far as shortcomings go, it’s really not that big of a deal. I’m willing to forgive it, anyway. Sometimes you can feel when the “correct” answer is coming through, usually because Lazlo is taking a hard line moral stance, but it never felt so overwhelming to me that it seemed like right and wrong were being truly dictated. It’s not perfect, and writers are allowed to have opinions, so eh.

In general, I’m a big fan of her writing style. I get the feeling the novelty would wear thin if I read all of her books back to back, so I won’t lmao, but from the one I’ve read I love it. She has issues with repetition to the point where it crosses from emphasis to unnecessary and redundant pretty often, but god I am a simp for flowery prose, so I will forgive it. If I had to describe the way she writes to someone who is deciding whether or not to read it, I’d say that she writes like those verbose, rich paragraphs you find on tumblr. You know, where someone has had a few nice sentences flow into their head, but they aren’t going to expand on it so they post it as is, without the context that might make it anything more than pretty words. (No shade, but... look they’re not exactly high art, ok?) Except that she’s actually written the book. And I find it a very pleasurable experience. Like I said, I am a simp for all things purple. If you’re not, you’ll probably hate it.

It can, at times, absolutely feel indulgent, but in a way the whole book is. I mean the fantastical elements of this story really go hard. She’s not really attempting realism here. Grounded (enough), sure, but definitely not realistic. And it’s fine by me. I’m willing to give a story a lot of passes if I feel like the writer has earned them in other ways. I don’t care if every little detail is what would really happen. Not at all, actually. If I wanted realism I’d go outside. I’m reading a book, not a newspaper.

One example is what I saw described as the “insta-love” between Lazlo and Sarai. Personally, I had no issues with it. It felt earned and in place in the context of the story. It makes sense for the two characters, both of whom are young and have felt painfully isolated for their entire lives. And then in walks someone with a mutual attraction, who can interact with them and appreciate them in a way no one else ever has. Yeah of course they fall in love. Even if the relationship wouldn’t have worked out long term, it makes total sense that one would have started. And as for how quickly it happened, eh. They literally met in a dream, what do you want?

There are plenty of other crimes that I’m sure I would defend, but here’s one I won’t. Thyon Nero. He is so criminally underutilized in this story, I question his place in it at all. Which is a goddamn shame because I love me a petty bitch like Thyon. It feels like he’s all wasted potential. In a sea of interesting, well drawn characters, he’s flat as Saskatchewan. Unforgivable. If it had been another character, fine. But Thyon? Come on! We spend enough time with him that he should feel more interesting, but he just doesn’t. There’s an attempt to give him a tragic backstory and whatever, but it’s so cliche (rich pretty boy with an abusive family behind the scenes controlling him and making him feel like a pawn in their game. Snarky on the outside, hurting on the inside, blah blah you’ve heard it a million times.) that I need more! You can’t just give me a scene of him getting whipped by his shitty dad, toss off a sentence about him wanting to free from his family’s exploitation, and then dust your hands and call it a day. UGH. He honestly serves as little more than an occasionally funny, almost interesting character foil for Lazlo. He exists to show you what a good boy Lazlo is. And that’s it. They aren’t even proper enemies. How much they dislike each other in any given scene is directly inverse to how much the plot needs them to get along in that moment. Before they’ve even reached the city Thyon is little more than a mild inconvenience. So why set him up as this scary antagonist??? I’m really hoping the second expands on him. I need more. You cannot dangle a funny bitch like him in front of my face and then do nothing with him! RUDE.

Ok, now Lazlo, I said I’d talk about him. Here we are. Lazlo Lazlo Lazlo. First of all, hate his name. That’s a nothing issue, I just had to say it. Second, he’s kinda lame, huh? I wouldn’t say that he’s underdeveloped, I feel like I have a much better idea of who he is than I do Thyon, it’s just that his development isn’t that interesting. He very much feels like a protagonistTM. He’s passionate and funny, driven and like... always in the right on moral issues. He’s the immediately accepted outsider who’s also able to bring a new, but more importantly, morally correct perspective on their issues. He’s charming, but humble, shy but not enough to actually impede social interaction. I don’t hate him, I’d probably hang out with him if I was on that journey (assuming I wasn’t following Thyon around like the simp I am). He’s just that kind of perfectly imperfect character. His flaws only make him more likeable, he’s never outright wrong about anything. I’ll say it, Lazlo is a Mary Sue.

Lazlo is a Mary Sue and Thyon was wasted on his basic ass. And that’s that on that.

I will let that (correct) declaration wrap this up. It’s way too long already. Thank god not a single person on earth reads these. Small miracles.

#booksbooksbooks #books #bookblr #booklr #strange the dreamer #good book #liked it a lot more than I thought I would #book thoughts

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grasslandgirl · 4 years

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For the ask game F G H R T please!

tysm anna 🥺🥺💖💖

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

ahhhhhh this is SO hard, you’re getting top three sorry not sorry

in no particular order:

1) from I’ve waited and watered my heart ‘til it grew (the magnus archives, jon and martin):

“Georgie told me once- before the Unknowing, before… before we really understood the gravity of everything- that I needed people around me, to anchor me, as it were. To talk to- to all of you, but I think she also meant you, Martin, specifically. You were always there to anchor me, to listen to me, even when you were neck-deep in Lukas’s business. Even- even when I didn’t think I deserved it.”

Martin looked down at Jon, met his inscrutable and unwavering gaze. “You always deserved it, Jon,” he said, with all the conviction he had.

[i just ahhhh i think i really nailed jon’s voice through all of this fic but martin’s line here specifically. that’s it. that’s the crux of all of it i think.]

2) from my unfinished juno steel amnesia fic (the penumbra podcast, juno and rita):

“Amnesia?” Juno mumbled, looking at Rita for confirmation. “I lost… two years?”

“I mean, yeah, Mister Steel, if the last thing you remember was the Robertson case that was two years ago. And that means you don’t remember anything about Mister Ex-Mayor Takano-Flaherty or the THEIA’s or Mister Ransom or- OH!! This reminds me of that one stream we watched, Boss, with the guy who had his brain sucked out by aliens only they weren’t aliens they were actually a super secret government agency taking away people’s memories; but oh, no, I guess you can’t remember that either, because we watched that one after the case where that lady’s cat exploded after you lost your eye and you were still all sad about Mister Glass again- we should watch that stream, Boss! Especially now that you don’t remember anything either, even though-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, back up, Rita,” Juno said, waving his hand vaguely, “what was- any of that, if I’m being honest. Ransom and the mayor? We blew up somebody’s cat?”

“I mean technically, the cat blew itself up, Boss.”

[did i mention that i LOVE rita penumbrapodcast? cause i LOVE her and i love to write her she’s so fun and her dynamic with juno is So fun to write, she just talks and i get to run away on my keyboard and let her say whatever her salmon-crunchie flavored heart desires <3]

3) from my bad kids fantasy au unposted wip (dimension twenty, fabian and adaine and gorgug):

Fabian frowned at Gorgug, considering. “Gorgug, we need to duel more often. If I’m going to be Captain, I need to know all my competition- even if they’re my best friend.”

“Aww,” Gorgug smiled down at Fabian, “I’m your best friend?”

“What?” Fabian blinked in confusion, before noticing Gorgug’s widening smile. “You dick-” he punched Gorgug in the shoulder- “you nearly got me! Of course we’re best friends, Thistlespring-”

“What about me?” Adaine asked, watching her boys’ friendly scuffle.

“You’re my best friend, too,” Gorgug said eagerly, “I can have more than one best friend.”

“Well I have dozens of best friends,” Fabian said, never one to be out done. “But, uh, I suppose you two are the- the top of the list. Of my many friends.”

[i simply think.... they!! their dynamic is SO choice if i do say so myself, i just think that old childhood best friends is one of the Best dynamics out there and is sorely underutilized and i am taking it upon myself to solve that problem. you’re welcome, world]

G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

i HAVE to write my fics in chronological order, from start to finish bc there are always scenes that i really Want to write and if i write those first then i have No drive or focus to write the Rest of the fic or the context that goes with it, so i make myself write chronologically and use the scenes that im really excited to write as a goal and a driving force to get myself through the other, equally important scenes, that i’m less excited about, otherwise the fic sits half-finished and abandoned in my wip folder, never to see the light of day......

H: How would you describe your style?

truly i Could Not Tell You. ive been told i write how i talk which. yeah. but idk how true that is for my fic/fiction writing? i truly don’t know tell me about my writing style im begging you i don’t know what my style is i just write its just there

R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

there aren’t any specific writers that i draw regular, constant inspo from, really? i’m lucky to know and be friends with multiple incredibly talented authors (you, anna grace, chief among them of course) and sometimes when i read a really good fic or story ill get inspired by the author’s style or tone and work off of that; but those beats of inspiration aren’t super common and tend to just lead to short little spurts of writing, most of my longer ideas and wips are products of plot and character inspiration, drawing from my life or the original media itself and less from fic or other writing (shoutout to @nojoyinmudville and @cauldronoflove both for writing SO good that it made me write fanfiction for THEIR fanfiction sfjvnksjfbd)

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

uhhhhhh not off the top of my head? im a sucker for coffeeshop and bakery aus but they always sort of infuriate me bc you can always tell when theyre written by people who have Never Worked In Food Service nor have they KNOWN anyone who’s worked in food service bc they’re always “im the owner of a very popular, well-trafficked bakery and i’m the owner and also the ONLY EMPLOYEE. I BAKE ALL THE BREAD AND PASTRY MYSELF. AND I RUN THE REGISTER AND THE COUNTER. AND I CLEAN THE WHOLE KITCHEN. AND I DO ALL THE FINANCES AND ORDER FORMS AND LEGAL TAPE. I ALSO HAVE TIME FOR A FUFILLING SOCIAL AND ROMANTIC LIFE. SOMEHOW, I SLEEP SOMETIMES.” plese. im begging u people. use your critical thinking skills. or, if all else fails. GOOGLE HOW WORKING IN A COFFEESHOP WORKS. YOU DON’T WORK 6AM- 8PM SHIFTS SIX DAYS A WEEK WITH ONE COWORKER. YOU HAVE SHIFTS. MORE PEOPLE IN THE RUSH HOURS. YOU HAVE DAYS OFF. ahem. anyway. yeah.

this got. so long sorryyyyyy ksjbskjf but thank you a million anna grace ilyyy 💖💖🤧🤧

send me a fanfic ask!! (my ao3 acc is @/grasslandgirl and is linked in my bio!)

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lostgirlrewatch · 5 years

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1x07 - ArachnoFaebia

Written by: Emily Andras

Directed by: John Fawcett

Original Air Date: October 31, 2010

In which I claim to have nothing to say about this episode but spend a long time ranting about Lauren and Dyson’s pettiness and other things anyway.

Bo and Kenzi begin to have their first little squabbles as roommates. Then a supernatural giant spider gets unleashed in their house, bites them, and turns them into paranoid homicidal maniacs. The house is quarantined so they can’t get out, and their only choices are kill the spider and free themselves from its spell or die in a fire, if they don’t kill each other first.

“It sounds like whispering kids or giggling elves. Did you bring elves home last night? I’m not judging, I just want to know.”

ArachnoFaebia. Don’t have much to say about this one.

I feel like I should, though. I mean, Emily Andras wrote it, and I usually like her episodes. (Except when I REALLY don’t, but we won’t get to the episode I’m thinking of until Season 3.) Plus, it’s about Bo and Kenzi, which is what I am here for. Eh. It’s a perfectly fine and entertaining episode.

Fuck Pete, Kenzi! Fuck Pete!

Ah, not cool on the cock block, Bo.

“I wish I had man slaves who did whatever I want.” Me too, Kenzi.

Bo and Kenzi have their first “fight,” which is really more of a catty little banter than anything.

Oh, wait. I definitely missed this line the first couple of times I watched this show a million years ago. The setup: Bo compares the two of them to “real life sisters,” which is cute. A few lines later, she says, “Hey, I’m picky, not psychotic.” Kenzi replies under her breath, “Family is always psychotic.” She kind of mumbles it so it’s hard to hear, but I love this. It’s touching, obviously, that she admits to herself out loud that she considers Bo her family. And, of course, it’s another dig at the biological family we have yet to meet or learn about.

This scene at the beginning with Ksenia Solo playing Kenzi playing an exorcist is great.

I really love the Bo, Kenzi, Dyson, and Hale dynamic. They have good chemistry. It’s a fun foursome. Not just as two pairs of best friends plus two pairs of love interests, but as all four of them together. They seem like they’d have a good time hanging out. Bo and Kenzi are like the quintessential lady BFFs, with Dyson and Hale as a dude BFF counterpart.

Bo, oblivious as hell, tries to sit down with Lauren and Dyson and have a genuine friendly heart-to-heart. Being as Lauren and Dyson fucking hate each other, this works out very poorly. Dyson and Lauren spit some nasty words back and forth at each other, all of this stemming from little to no provocation. It’s just the sight of the other sitting next to Bo that raises their hackles, and it takes nothing to have them at each other’s throats. Considering that from where I’m sitting, which is not particularly invested in either pairing, they haven’t known Bo that relatively long, their jealousy seems a bit extreme.

Surprisingly, Lauren doesn’t really take the first shot at Dyson, other than a passive aggressive comment about him not returning her calls, which is no doubt deserved. Dyson, prickled at the reminder and at her presence, resorts to racism. For the cheapest possible digs, of course. How flattering of you, Dyson.

Love when we get to see and hear more Hale. Like this scene where he calls out Kenzi for being jealous of Bo’s ability to seduce anyone. When he’s not fronting as a hyper-horny dudebro, Hale tends to be one of the more coy and observant characters, and I’ve always found him to be both fun to watch and criminally underutilized. But boy, will we get to that later.

In the scene where Bo goes to get a check-up with Lauren at the Light Fae hospital, Bo admits that she was insensitive when she briefly tried to get Lauren and Dyson to hang out at the Dal. I am a bit impressed and proud of her that she is at least aware of it and owning up to it.

Kenzi and Lauren make-out hallucination weird as fuck, no other comment.

Dyson looks nice in this suit. That’s all I wanted to say.

I’m not gonna lie, if Lauren wasn’t a lesbian, I’d be tempted to ship Wolfpants, y’all.

While not as quite as unflattering as Dyson taking cheap shots at her humanity and literal slavery, this bit where Lauren sends him a little nasty, “And we’re close. She knows she can talk to me,” is also kind of unflattering. She looks him dead in the eyes and wants him to know that she and Bo have a deeper bond than Bo has with him (supposedly). Pretty nasty. I guess he deserves it, though, after his douchebaggery at the bar. Dyson fires back with a pretty sick burn by reminding Lauren that he and Bo are, in fact, still fucking. Dyson and Lauren just constantly engage in petty dick-waving in every scene they are in together. Strap in, because this won’t change any time soon.

So why do the “infected” have to be exterminated along with the spider? Is it contagious? I thought people are only infected if they’re bitten? Just get them out of there and burn the place down with the spider in it. Pretty cold of Lauren and Trick to just be like, “Oh well, fuck Bo and Kenzi and Hale, then,” and be prepared to sacrifice them if they can’t figure out how to kill the thing in the next hour or whatever.

What Bo does to Hale when he’s tied up is gross. And, uh, what’s the word. Problematic.

Talking about this in depth is going to open up a whole can of worms, and it probably deserves its own post, but it’s worth briefly acknowledging here what we already consciously or subconsciously know. Which is that a lot of the time, when Bo feeds on or uses her succubus powers on someone, either without them knowing or against their will, it scans as a dubiously consensual sexual encounter at best. In situations like the one with Hale, it reads as straight up non-con, or worse.

But being as that’s the nature of what a succubus is, that’s a given. What matters is how the narrative treats it. Is it treated well in this episode? Not really. Bo was supernaturally brainwashed at the time so it’s not like it was really her doing it, but it kinda bothers me that she defends her feeding on him as, “I did what I had to do,” and at the end of the episode, Hale begs Kenzi not to tell Dyson that “[he] kissed Bo,” as if he had any agency in the matter. I never really thought about this when I first watched the show in high school, so it didn’t bother me. Watching it now, it makes me uncomfortable.

The main character is a succubus, and at the end of the day this show is all good edgy campy sexy supernatural fun, and it's not that deep. Really, it's not. But her being a succubus can sometimes make for a tricky sea to navigate. One of Michelle Lovretta’s main goals was sex positivity, and I think the show succeeds at that in regards to its consensual adult sexual relationships. As to how much or whether dubious consent scenarios muddy up that message, not really sure how I feel yet.

“You’d pick me over Bo, right, Hale? You’re on my side?” Hmmm. I sense shades of a burgeoning intimacy here.

KC Collins playing Hale as a psychopath is pretty scary.

This one-off character is cool and seems interesting. It’s a shame we don’t see more of her.

Bo’s one brain cell not understanding science is really cute.

Dyson tells Lauren that he doesn’t trust her motives. She’s “inconsistent.” And it’s true. She is. He admits to not understanding why Lauren would callously call a strike on Bo but then turn around and kill a man to save her. And to be honest, at this point, I don’t either. Something about Lauren is shifty and Dyson is right to pick up on it. Lauren’s response, “…this time I was Bo’s hero,” is unnecessary and kinda toxic but whatever.

Next up, we have episode 1x08, which was the original pilot. They wrote it, shot it, and showed it to the network in order to pitch the show. Obviously, it sold. Which makes the episode’s distinctively darker tone as compared to the rest of the season quite interesting.

#lost girl #bo dennis #kenzi malikov #lauren lewis #bo and kenzi #lost girl rewatch #doccubus #kale #i'm just gonna start tagging kenzi and hale as kale #dybo #1x07

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