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pandulce135 · 1 year ago

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The Fivefold Trap (TMNT 2012 Reader Insert)

Note: This is such a wannabe song fic lmao. Straight up, this is an idea I had for my OC Toru for the 2012 version of her (cuz I have a version for 2003 and 2018, too). Like, if I were to write a whole fic, this would be a highlight on Toru's home life and honestly, it wouldn't be seen by the turtles until they go to space because of that holograph room. This idea has been plaguing my brain for months and honestly? It's for the angst. The other versions of her are much more lighthearted. 2012 Toru is just not having a good time.

The songs used in this fic are: Pieces by Sum 41, Perfect by Simple Plan, Spaceship by Art Sorority, A Better Son/Daughter by Rilo Kiley

Word count: 4.2k

Warnings: troubled home life, strained relationship with parents, self deprecation, drug use, mention of thoughts of suicide, child neglect and emotional abuse, psychological abuse and trauma, experiment, not proofread (lmk if I need to add anything!)

~~~~~

You were awake, you knew it, so why couldn’t you see anything? You felt your eyelashes make contact with something- were you wearing a mask? How did you get here? Why were you so achy? You had no recollection of getting here- wherever you were.

The last thing you remember was sitting on the rooftop of your apartment building. There was no one up there, no one around. You were trying to get a breath of fresh air and relax while you strummed on your ukulele. It was after seeing the Hamato sons at their Lair. You strummed chords at random, coming up with a tune in your head. Your hands on the strings were illuminated only by the lights of the city and shining moon above you.

The boys had gotten into an argument when you excused yourself from the Lair. You had told Donnie to text you and reminded him that he’s doing great under all the pressure his brothers and father are placing on him. He had left at the same time you did, explaining that April called him. He had given you a quick ride back to the surface in one of his armored go carts before continuing his drive to his own destination.

You didn’t get the chance to play your ukulele long. You remember feeling a presence behind you and stopped playing, your fingers freezing over the strings abruptly. There wasn’t enough time for you to turn around before a sharp pain hit your head.

That’s what happens when you let your guard down.

You groaned as you sat up, still unable to see what’s around you. The ground was cold and smooth with a glossy finish. This wasn’t a cellar, by any means. There was a smell in the air, however. A cleaning product, Lysol?

To your left, you heard two different voices.

“You’re sure it will work?” A feminine voice. Karai.

“You shouldn’t doubt my skill. I know exactly what I am doing.” An arrogant voice. Male. Baxter Stockman. He usually speaks like this when he’s talking about science, so you’ve seen. What exactly is he…?

“They’re awake too soon. Hit it.”

“Wait-” You tried reaching out, tried saying something to stop them when music began playing from whatever contraption was on your head. You placed your hands on it, hearing a sad guitar begin to play. Your fingertips were met with cold, heavy duty steel that seemed to stay on your head no matter how hard you pried.

Before you, a crying young teen sat just as you recognized the song and the person.

“I tried to be perfect But nothing was worth it I don’t believe that makes me real

I thought it’d be easy But no one believes me I meant all the things that I said

If you believe it’s in my soul I’d say all the words that I know Just to see if it would show That I’m trying to let you know

That I’m better off on my own.”

You looked at the younger version of yourself. Curled up, sobbing with headphones blaring music to try and calm down. You liked listening to this music because it allowed you feel seen and heard- like someone finally understands.

There were a lot of things that led to these thoughts of isolation and beliefs of not being good enough: degrading parents who expected their only child to be a spitting image of them, being average when they demanded perfection, ultimately having such low confidence because of their words.

Worthless.

Even when you did your best, it just wasn’t enough. Maybe you were better off on your own.

You sat there staring at your crying form for three minutes before the image in your head changed and you were now in your kitchen. A new song began to play in your ears and your parents had just gotten home from a long time of being at their out of state lab- almost a month.

Not even five minutes into them being home and they’re yelling at your preteen self. You had forgotten about this. It had probably been pushed to the back of your mind, shoved away so you could continue moving along. You had gotten a few B’s on your last group of tests. They threatened to take away the electronics in the apartment, they wanted to make it so the only thing you would do was study, not even be a kid.

��We raised you to be smart and capable. Not average!” Your father shouted down at you with a vein threatening to burst at his temple. “You’re supposed to be like us: smart, capable, you’re an idiot!”

“Hey, dad, look at me Think back and talk to me Did I grow up according to plan?”

“Spending all your time playing that stupid ukulele, watching those stupid videos on the computer. You need to study. B’s are for average children. You’re supposed to be better than this!”

“And do you think I’m wasting my time Doing things I wanna do But it hurts when you disapprove all along.”

Your mother towered over your quaking form. You were trying to hold it together, trying to remain strong until you can hide away in your room to let it all out.

“We’ve worked hard to keep a roof over your head, to give you the best education we can afford and you do nothing but disappoint us. Go to your room!”

Grades were all that mattered to them. They still are. Even when they tasked you with saving the world.

“Nothing’s gonna change the things that you said And nothing’s gonna make this right again Please don’t turn your back I can’t believe it’s hard just to talk to you But you don’t understand.

‘Cuz we’ve lost it all Nothing lasts forever I’m sorry I can’t be perfect.”

“I did my best,” you had muttered. Your hands were fists at your sides, trying to keep your voice steady. Trying to stay strong for just a few more minutes.

“And it’s just too late And we can’t go back I’m sorry I can’t be-”

“-perfect.” You had said the last line of that song before you turned to go to your room. You had slammed the door shut and locked it before letting your emotions out. You had forgotten all of that.

You stood up to follow your younger self through the memory and into their room. You moved your hand to the doorknob to enter only for it to phase through the door. You let out a small gasp but jumped as a voice came over an intercom.

“Greetings turtles… and Y/N. It’s time for us to play a game.” Karai’s voice came over the intercom. So the boys were here, too! Good, good. At least you’re not alone in this. “Each of you have been placed inside a room with a unique trap. Oh, we all had input. Isn’t that right Xever?”

Xever’s voice was a bit muffled, he obviously was standing further away from the microphone. “I helped design yours personally, Raphael. Everyone loves baked turtle.”

“Raphael, you’re inside the first trap, aptly called the Hot Head. Can you figure a way out?” Karai’s voice was menacing over the intercom. Her attention shifted. “Hello, Leonardo. Welcome to the Courage Slayer. To save your brothers and Y/N, you’ll have to face ninja blades as skilled as your own, which isn’t all that formidable. So I cranked up the speed to 100.”

Your eyes widened but were still only able to take in the darkness inside the metal helmet mask you wore.

“Donatello, are you smart enough to beat the Brain Boggler? Connect he pieces as they appear on the game grid. Make a mistake and you get zapped. Get zapped enough times, and then you’ll truly know what it feels like to be brain fried.”

“Next, we have the Flush-O-Matic. Once the tanks are full, the flush valve will open and dump mutagen all over you poor, little Michelangelo.” There was a moment where you knew Mikey was talking back to your captors, probably something about the name.

“Last, but certainly not least, Y/N. On your head is Memory Activator Helmet. You already know how it works. It’s able to see memories you’ve subconsciously pushed away. With the help of music, you’re able to see those memories right before your eyes. You will always be the least favorite only child in the eyes of your parents.” Karai let out a laugh. “We wanted to see you break before we break you. Good luck, Turtles, and good riddance.”

It was like a Saw movie. Traumas you had already lived through began to bubble up to the surface as another song began to play, just a guitar, and a new scene appeared before your eyes.

You were staring out of your window. It was three in the morning. There was a handwritten note on your desk.

“Get-get, get inside your spaceship You don’t have a car, but you don’t have to take this You’ll jet up out the city like your favorite authors Look up at the stars, look up at the stars

You’re on a fast track living from a backpack Leaving all the sad-sack suckers in the dust behind you This is how you roll, permanent vacation You put in your time, now you’re out of patience.”

Your behavior at school had begun to get worse. You were isolating yourself from your peers, others were beginning to start rumors. In their eyes, you were a weirdo, a product of an experiment gone wrong thanks to your parents. The career of ‘scientist’ mixed in with a social outcast of a child really gave your parents a certain reputation.

“You can really go, no one’s gonna stop you You can really go, no one’s gonna stop you You can really go, but now you’re getting caught up in it Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute!”

You watched as you looked out the window, contemplating, thinking, wondering. Your younger counterpart’s eyebrows were furrowed, obviously deep in thought. Little you glanced at the note they had written minutes prior. Looking into those tear stained, tired eyes, you yourself began crying. It hit you like a truck, this memory. Your chest hurt and you clutched at the shirt that you wore as you stepped back. A hard wall collided with your back and helmet as you watched yourself ask if they’re ready.

“Think about your friends, think about your other friends Thinking ‘bout you when they can, probably wondering what happened to you Can’t return their calls, skipping every breakfast You tried to be a writer but instead you only fact check.”

That’s when you threw yourself at the other you. You where shocked when your arms wrapped around their body rather than go through them, but held on nonetheless. You sobbed into the shoulder of the you from before you met the turtles, and began training with Splinter, and studying with April and Casey even though you went to different schools, sat there.

“It gets better, I promise,” you let out in a hoarse voice, hardly above a whisper. “You have six new friends, you have a sensei, and you have a second home. Don’t give in just yet, please!” You held onto yourself, crying. Eventually, their head was on your shoulder, sobbing. Is this how it happened?

There had been a feeling of warmth that encased you, and then there was a nice voice mixed in with the bad ones, telling you to keep going, telling you to not give up. A fire in you ignited that night that burned bright, angry, and proud.

“Keep going and do not falter.”

You didn’t even notice the song fade out, you only heard your sobbing.

Karai had watched the whole thing from the observation deck screens where she could see the others as well. This was a little experiment that Karai had Stockman doing, and it also incorporated a type of torture, less physical, more psychological. She laughed, watching you stand frozen before backing up, clutching your chest. But then you did something that made her confused. You leapt out with your arms out.

“What are they doing?” Karai asked the scientist that stood to her side. Stockman looked from you to Karai to the screen that showed them what you were seeing. Upon seeing, his eyes widened and he began to stammer.

“This wasn’t anticipated! It’s very interesting.” Stockman pulled on the monitor to show Karai the screen. “They appear to be hugging the version of them from their memory.”

“Interesting.” Karai stared at the screen, holding her chin in thought. “Stockman, can you ruin a memory?”

He stammered. “What do you mean?”

“The memory they’re in, can you make it worse?” Karai clarified, still eyeing your form on the monitor as you began to calm down from your crying. She rolled her eyes at the sight. “So emotional…”

“From what I have currently, I cannot.” He answered, straightforward and simple. “But,” he pressed a button on the console he stood before, prompting another song to play and a new memory to appear in your head, “we can make them remember the worst of the worst.”

The version of you that you were hugging fazed out and you fell forward. Your hands made contact with the cold floor to keep you from face planting. You felt your gut begin to twist and swirl, a newfound nervousness taking hold. The sights and scenes began anew.

You stood over yourself laying in bed it was the morning after a particularly terrible fight you had with your parents. This one was the most recent memory, only taking place a few months ago. You hardly got any sleep and the bags under your eyes showed for it. In your hand was a small device resembling a USB drive. It wasn’t for memory storage, though.

You remember how your world seemed to spin that day and you just laid in bed, avoiding your parents. You didn’t have to wait long though, they were out of town for the next month in their lab the following day.

“Sometimes, in the morning I am petrified and can’t move Awake but cannot open my eyes

And the weight is crushing down on my lungs I know I can’t breathe I hope someone will save me this time.”

You watched as the version of you in bed lifted the small device to their lips and breathed in a heavy breath. You sat there for a moment, letting the chemicals mix with your insides before breathing out, a cloud of smoke escaping through your lips.

You weren’t addicted by any means, no. It was just an opportunity to stay loose, so you took it and ran. It was an effort to remain calm in a stormy apartment.

At this point, you had known the turtles for a bit, but they didn’t know about your home life and you still won’t plan on telling them. However, you’re sure Master Splinter had realized something was amiss. The way you held yourself and avoided much conversation of your parents probably helped him piece that one together.

You let out a gasp when the scene changed but the song stayed the same. They’re really aiming for torture, aren’t they?

“Then you hang up the phone and feel badly for upsetting things Crawl back into bed to dream of a time When your heart was open wide, and you love things just because Like the sick and the dying.”

You were looking at a child version of you, probably five, so happy, so smiley. Your parents loved you then and you had felt that warmth until you reached middle school.

You missed the way they looked at you like you were the light of their lives, like you belonged with them. Your existence made them proud to call you theirs.

It all changed when they began taking longer leaves to their lab. They cracked down on you, made you feel worse and worse about being average.

“And sometimes, when you’re on, you’re really fucking on And your friends, they sing along and they love you.”

You thought back to the four turtles, April, Casey, Master Splinter. They gave you love your parents never did. They are proud of you. They don’t see you as merely average, but an outstanding fighter with a brilliant mind.

There was an ache beginning to form in your skull. Your head was hurting. All of these memories being pulled out, sobbing for so long, thinking of your past and present life. The scene changed to another more recent memory.

“But the lows are so extreme, that the good seems so fucking cheap And it teases you for weeks in its absence.”

You hadn’t gone to visit the turtles in a few days, you didn’t even text them. You were losing your mind trying to study for an intense exam coming up. Notes were littered on the kitchen table and your laptop played notes videos that taught you nothing. The fear of failure continued to push you, though, even if that meant ghosting the turtles for a few days.

But they came to check up on you.

“But you’ll fight, you’ll make it through You’ll be better and you’ll be smarter and more grown up And a better daughter or son And a real good friend.”

The four climbed in through your window and you calmed down. Donnie recognized the work and walked you through it, Leo made you some tea and listened to your ranting, Mikey allowed for a few minutes of mindless distraction, and Raph encouraged you to release some stress through some playful sparing on the roof.

Oh, how you appreciated them.

You put your foot down that day. You vowed to yourself that you’ll be by their side no matter what, facing who knows what challenges. You may have your own ups and downs, but these were friends you were not willing to give up so easily, not like you had allowed with your peers in the past.

You may be below average in the eyes of your parents, but you have a new family. A better family. The turtles, Master Splinter, April, and Casey.

“And your ship may be coming in You’re weak, but not giving in And you’ll fight it, you go out fighting all of them.”

You heard a click. Maybe you were going crazy? Then a hissing. Then a voice came over the intercom.

“Stop fighting it, Y/N. It’ll be a lot easier for all of us if you just let it happen,” Stockman’s voice rang through your ears. What was he talking about? It was then that you noticed that the memory before you was glitching and there was no music playing. “Whatever you’re doing, stop it.”

You moved without thinking, standing up straight and squaring your shoulders. With trembling fingers, you moved your hands up to the metal contraption that was holding you hostage with your own memories and traumas.

“What are you doing? Stop it!” Stockman shouted over the intercom. This would ruin his ‘research,’ effectively destroying his work on this matter.

“You really had me in the first half, not gonna lie.” You pulled the helmet off of your head and blinked as light flooded into your vision. You turned to face a camera in the corner of the room. “But you underestimate me. I’m strong, Stockman. I survive.” With that, you smashed the helmet against a nearby wall with as much force as you could muster up. Upon impact, it shattered onto the floor. The mechanical bits were now loose and visible, but you continued to stomp on it, making sure it still wasn’t usable.

“No! No my work,” Stockman cried out, mourning the loss of his invention that left you way more messed up than you already were.

But yet now there was a sense of strength and belonging. You were where you needed to be.

You looked around the room you were in, trying to find a way out, and then you spotted a door hidden in the corner on the other side of the room. You took off in a sprint and were able to make it out of the room and were surprised when you found yourself in a sewer. You were less surprised to hear fighting down one end. You followed the sound.

“Surrender, my daughter,” Splinter’s voice echoed through the tunnel you were running through. “You are defeated. My sons and Y/N are free.” His voice made you pick up your pace and soon enough, you were watching him face off with a giant white mutated snake- Karai.

Splinter’s words seemed to anger Karai and she let out a growl. “I’ll never surrender to you!” She shouted, her voice echoing off of the dark walls that surrounded them. She charged at him. “Never!”

It was easy enough for Splinter to overpower his daughter and throw her to the ground, but you knew that mentally, it was a difficult task for him.

“Miwa.” Splinter tried to reason with her, only to earn a hiss before she jumped off of the platform in the middle of the opening and into the water below.

That water was the only thing keeping you away from Splinter and April, who were both still on the platform. You looked around, trying to find a way to cross to the platform as Splinter began chanting. It was easy to recognize that he was trying to call upon the ancient scrolls, but you couldn’t tell which one. When Karai reappeared behind him, he was able to dodge her attack and planted his own.

“I love you, Miwa.”

It was easy to remember your place in all of this now. You were a sidekick, helping the turtles until all of this was over. You were never a part of their family, they already had one. A stray tear fell down your cheek and landed on the rusty metal tunnel.

You let yourself watch as Karai fell into the water, you were too far to help her. April had to hold Splinter back as he tried to lunge over the the side for his daughter.

That’s when you all heard Tigerclaw’s voice from above. “Your victory has come at a price, Yoshi-san.” In his hands was a rifle that he pointed at Splinter. You all heard it begin to power up and you could have kicked yourself for not looking for any weapons before making your way over here.

However, a sword sliced at his gun, sending it flying towards the floor. Everyone’s gaze followed where the sword came from only to see the turtles jumping down from the ceiling.

“Sensei!”

“April!”

Once they had landed, Tigerclaw flew away, an evil laugh echoing off the walls of the tunnel he flew into.

”Where’s Y/N?” Leo asked, looking around the expanse of the area. That’s when you called out.

“Over here!” It didn’t escape you how your voice pitched up in the middle of your call and took a deep breath. You eyed your surroundings and pinpointed a few pipes you could use to make your way over to them.

When you landed, Splinter spoke up. “I trust that you are all unharmed.”

Physically? Yes. Mentally? Psychologically? You turned away from the group so they wouldn’t see the tears threatening to escape once more.

“Sensei?”

“What happened?”

Donnie and Leo both asked.

Splinter moved to steady himself, using the edge of the console to assist him. “She forced me into combat, but the Healing Hands I used on her were meant to help her, not harm her.” You felt the air in the room grow thicker. “I fear that we will never see Miwa again.”

Leo moved to stand behind Splinter. “Never give up hope.” He placed his large three fingered hand onto his father’s shoulder. “That was the greatest lesson you taught me as a kid, Sensei.” That prompted Splinter to turn around and look at everyone before him.

You couldn’t bring yourself to look back. The strain of having your memories pulled out of the darkest shadows of your mind to shine at the forefront still weighed you down.

Splinter stood up, placing an arm around Leo’s shoulder. “Come, let us go home.”

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immortalarizona · 1 year ago

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“Can it be that it was all so simple then, or has time rewritten every line?

If we had the chance to do it all again, tell me—would we? Could we?”

— Barbara Streisand, “The Way We Were”

the Magic Trio, the loves of my lives <3

art I did for my MCU fic Carpe Diem, a time travel fix-it set in my own alternate timeline starring none other than my favorite disasters, Wanda, Stephen, and Loki!! once my ao3 is up, I’ll link to the fic on here. more rambling about the costume designs under the cut if you’re interested :]

for Wanda, I went with a design that combines elements I liked from her WandaVision costume with the absolutely stunning Russell Dauterman 2021 comics redesign, plus a bit of my own flair (my friends know I will go feral for Wanda in a ponytail). I plan to do a whole post showcasing this design more in the near future, so stay tuned!! for her facial features, I envision my Wanda being portrayed by the Spanish Roma actress Alba Flores, because oh my word sheeeee <3

for Stephen, I went with a lot of the structure from his Multiverse of Madness design, just simplified for my sanity and with the saturation upped by quite a bit. also, I brought back the gloves, both for thematic and character reasons (I have a whole 1.5k-word character study about Stephen and his gloves that I may post here at some point, lol).

for Loki, I incorporated a lot of vaguely Norse elements because ✨ vibes ✨. (example: all the braids in hir hair, what you can see of hir belt, etc.) fun fact about the design of hir vambraces, I wanted it to echo the look of Thor’s helmet, hence the vaguely wing-looking design you can sort of see. the horn design is somewhere between Ragnarok Loki and President Loki, but I think I’ve arrived at something that works!!

edit: I was looking through one of my old sketchbooks and it turns out I was fiddling with a completely different design related to plot elements I hadn’t yet determined at the time I drew this?? sooo we’ll see if I end up keeping the vaguely Norse costume around lol.

also this isn’t related to the costume design but fun fact about that design in the background, it’s actually taken from that one art of Scarlet Witch from the Darkhold. this was not a random choice, though it would be spoilers for me to reveal why just yet :]

#ari does art #marvel #magic trio #scarlet witch #doctor strange #loki #please bear with me while I slowly comb through my MASSIVE collection of old-ish art and decide what deserves to be posted on here #carpe diem #art #alba flores as wanda maximoff #earth-19384 #artists on tumblr

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mothwingwritings · 1 year ago

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I hope I’m not the only one here on your blog just for the Tokyo revengers content because I never watched Baki should i thought??

I have been very Baki focused as of late, huh? ^^; You are def not the only TokRev fan though, I assure you! My first really sizable chunk of followers came from my Taiju fic, and though I have been slacking a bit on posting anything TokRev related, I promise you much more is planned/being written currentl. A large chunk of bigger fics I am working on are actually mostly TokRev, I just wanted a lil break and so I focused on smaller stuff for a bit, and pretty much all of that happened to be Baki.

Now, as for if you should watch Baki…

Short answer: Yes! :D

Thoughtful answer: I think Baki is a very interesting take on the fighting genre, and I do highly recommend it. The saga of the Hanma family is as engrossing as it is entertaining, and there is a colorful cast of characters that support the series that you can’t help but love, hate, or love to hate. I have been kind of waiting for a Baki renaissance for a while now-I feel like other than in Japan, it really isn’t a super popular series and that’s a bit of a shame because it truly is an entertaining watch/read. The Netflix adaptation I think has helped the series a lot (and we are all grateful for it, to see our lovely boys animated so beautifully :)) and put it on the map for newer audiences to enjoy, but I definitely recommend the manga too. It’s a pretty fast read because a large chunk of it is action, but it’s pretty cool to see how Itagaki’s art has changed over the years and also how he has grown and changed as a story teller. Earlier Baki is much different than newer Baki, and some of the characters feel a bit foreign when you go back and reread some of the earlier stuff after being immersed in the newer content.

Baki also has some very bizarre and downright comical aspects as well that kind of put it on par with JJBA while making it very charming. The mangaka def adds some quirky flairs to his story telling, which while sometimes I can get a little annoyed/bored/confused with them, I feel like overall they make the experience of watching/reading the series its own unique and fun experience.

And if you love delinquents, Kaoru Hanayama is like… one of the best and coolest delinquents. If you put that man in Toman he would be running the whole gang within days and 90% of the bullshit everyone had to go through in Tokrev probs would have been resolved fairly quickly, if it even happened at all. This man would grind Kisaki to paste in the blink of an eye and I would pay to see it happen. :)

THAT ALL BEING SAID: Not everyone likes Baki, and that’s fine too. I know personally a lot of people are turned off by the art/how the characters look and honestly… That’s valid lol. I remember I once showed my friend a picture of Biscuit and her direct response was “Why does he look like he’s made out of balloons, like a clown constructed him?” LOOOL and often times if my friends mention weird body proportions in comics/manga someone inevitable asks when I am gonna chime in with a Baki manga panel. ^^; Most of the rest of my friends don’t really have any desire to partake in it though, and a few that have just really weren’t in to it. It’s very heavy on fighting and martial arts, and though the fighting is rather fantastical in a lot of cases, it (usually) doesn’t have supernatural elements or magic involved. So if that seems kind of bleh to you, you may want to avoid it.

Horny answer: Incredibly sexy men who are at least half naked a large majority of the time beating the shit out of each other is very fun, nice, and fulfilling to watch. :)

So I say give it a try if you are interested at all. At the very least, some of the fics on here may make a little more sense.

REGARDLESS THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE!!! Please stay tuned for more TokRev in the future, I have at least one more alphabet ask that is for a Tokrev chara so that may be the first thing I post, but bigger stuff is coming soon too~ <3

#I miss my delinquent boys #there are so many of them I want to write for and so many ideas i have begun uwuuugh #also dont feel bad-as far as minorities go I know there is at least ONE person who followed me after i posted my Zenos fic #who was solely here for FFXIV content #if you are still out there and see this... I love you and you are free to hit me up and tell me about your WOL at any time #<3 #anyway thank you for the ask!#if you do watch/read Baki let me know what you think of it! :3 #mothresponse

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diaryofserafina · 4 months ago

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Life Among the Pirates

Ahoy, magical friends! 🌟

Life on a pirate ship is nothing short of exhilarating. The crew is a ragtag group of adventurers, each with their own story and skills. As I get to know them better, I’m learning that there’s more to these pirates than meets the eye.

First, there’s Captain Talion, of course. He’s a complex mix of charm, mystery, and a hint of danger. Despite our complicated past, I can see why the crew respects him. He’s a natural leader, always calm under pressure, and his strategic mind is constantly at work, planning our next move.

Then there’s Jax, the ship’s quartermaster. With his imposing figure and stern demeanor, he ensures that everything on the ship runs smoothly. He’s the one who makes sure we have enough supplies and that everyone pulls their weight. Despite his gruff exterior, Jax has a soft spot for Guran and often sneaks him treats.

Kara is the ship’s navigator, a brilliant mage with a knack for reading the stars and predicting weather patterns. Her maps and charts are works of art, and she’s always eager to share her knowledge of the skies. She’s also a skilled healer, often tending to the crew’s injuries with her gentle touch and magical herbs.

Finn, the ship’s cook, keeps us all well-fed with his culinary creations. He’s a master of improvisation, making delicious meals out of whatever we have on board. His kitchen is his domain, and woe to anyone who dares to enter without his permission. Finn’s hearty laughter and endless supply of stories keep our spirits high during long journeys.

Riko, the lookout, has the sharpest eyes on the ship. From his perch high in the crow’s nest, he can spot trouble long before it reaches us. Riko’s quick reflexes and keen instincts have saved us more than once from unexpected dangers. He’s also a bit of a prankster, always ready with a playful tease or a lighthearted joke.

And then there’s Lila, the ship’s bosun, responsible for the maintenance and repair of the ship. Her hands are always busy with ropes, sails, and tools, ensuring that the ship stays in top condition. Lila’s expertise is unmatched, and she’s often found working late into the night, her lantern casting a warm glow over her work.

As for me, I’m still finding my place among this motley crew. I’ve shared a bit of my magic, helping to enhance the ship’s defenses and even conjuring a few helpful spells for daily tasks. The crew is slowly warming up to me, and I’m starting to feel like part of the family.

Living among pirates is teaching me a lot about resilience, resourcefulness, and camaraderie. These people may be rough around the edges, but they have hearts of gold and a fierce loyalty to one another.

The adventures we’ve had so far are just the beginning. With this crew by my side, I’m excited to see where the winds take us next. Stay tuned for more tales from the skies of Miovs. Until next time, keep your wands ready and your hearts open! 🌟

Remember, adventure is out there waiting for you. Sometimes, the best stories are the ones you live yourself. Stay tuned for more enchanting tales and magical experiences. In Miovs, magic is everywhere – you just have to know where to look!

#fantasy #fantasyworld #magicaladventures #author #fantasyblogger #magical world #fantasy world #fantasy lover #wizardlife #adventure

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time-lapse-games · 1 year ago

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Where everything started... (this time, with shadows!)

Hello everyone! I think it's time to tell you what's going on behind the scenes… first of all, don't worry! The game IT'S NOT on hiatus! I'm sorry for my absence from socal medias, but I kept working. Between August, September and October I did a lot of things (for example, a little vacation to see my family, and helping my friend @wisteriasakana with her beautiful Three Yellow Quartzes. I did the sound design!).

But I indeed changed my plans. Sooo, without further ado: I decided to divide the game (The ash black cat and the happy ogre) in chapters. It's simply too long and I'm working on it alone. So, sadly, I won't be able to publish it for this Halloween. The main reason behind this is that I wasn't fully satisfied with it; I wanted to add a LOT of things (revamp all the old art, make a graphical overhaul, adding a custom menu, making a better and solid gameplay on the first floor) but I didn't have the time to work on "extra" things. Only to barely finish it. So, I decided to love myself and the game more, and take my time.

… that said, I made another game (Every thought flies) in the meanwhile. With the same characters, some months prior the main story. It will act as a prologue for the other game, a sort of Chapter 0. Actually I finished it, and now it's in the betatesting/translation phase! This should be ready for the first half of November, so please, stay tuned for the release! So, Chapter 0 is coming, but what about the first? Maaaybe January. If everything works out. Thank you for the patience. (Just to be clear, I'm not starting from zero. I'm just reworking, expanding and adding things…) In my next post I'll talk a little about Every thought flies, I think we need an official presentation… To the next time!

#the ash black cat and the happy ogre #rpg maker #indie game #game dev #rpg horror #rpgmaker #rpg maker vx ace #horror rpg

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cerastes · 2 years ago

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Deirdre being a bnnuy obviously could has some animalistic features but for the most part youd likely attribute any features gained to like speed or agility, though I think you went more with making her a powerhouse though that's beside the point.

Our lovely archbishop though has a very obvious animalistic feature ie the tail, now I'm an absolute fucking sucker for those kinds of features(you can do so much emoting and fun tricks with those bad boys) and I was curious if you had any plans or thoughts of incorporating that with anything she does or if it's more just a baller aesthetic.

Loving the two you've made so far look forward to more of this world, as you add more I'd love to see a master post tag sorta deal if its not too much effort on your end.

I've always thought that animalistic features can make a killer aesthetic, but I've also always wanted to not really necessarily lean into these features being decisive in what to expect, necessarily, from a character off the bat. There is such a thing as stylistic expectation (ice powers people having white or blue hair, fire powers people usually being very loud and energetic, etc), but beyond that... No, not beyond, necessarily, rather, in balance with that, I think have you take some time and make a character feel like a person beyond their immediately discernible characteristics if you really want interesting characters.

So, for example, if I have the Country of Bunny People, I don't want them conforming to an easily-slotted-to-bunnies assumption because I feel like that can become an easy out that can negatively impact your worldbuilding when relied upon too much. I don't mind giving them some characteristics like that (they are culturally good foragers because IRL bunnies are good foragers, for example, an aspect which you can then tie to their backstory, such as The Bunny Country having gone through a long time of poverty in which foraging became an important skill) but otherwise I think prioritizing these attributes as an aesthetic to work with rather than being necessarily informative of their character in major ways is the best way to go.

Deirdre's case has to do with her partial inspiration, which her Gladiator ring name, Caerbannog, might have hinted towards: The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog, also known as the Vorpal Bunny. Her being a strong physical powerhouse is more informed by this as well as her "wild rage with focused purpose" behavior and other things we'll explore in due time. I do think personality or demeanor is better informative of abilities and attributes, whether it means going along with that or subverting these expectations, but that's my personal preference.

With Seirian, well, I don't wanna give away too much because I do have some ideas with her and her features that I think would lose impact if I just discussed them here as opposed to seeing them in action when I finish writing this. Stay Tuned! (It Will Involve The Tail, Obviously, Heehee).

Thank you very much! It means a lot to me to hear you're enjoying my stuff, haha, I do plan on commissioning more arts of the characters from this story (and this world) in due time, my money is Being Directed Towards Something Else for now, Please Wait Warmly. I'll use the "Ivarea" tag as a sort of catch-all master tag for now, for the existing posts (that I can find) and for any future asks or posts regarding these characters and this world.

#Ivarea

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fuwapower-prettycure · 1 year ago

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Fuwa Power Catchphrases

So you know catchphrases? MECHOKKU, ARIENAI, ETC. Well, the FuwaPow girls have those too! I didn’t realize they’d been cut from their character bios when I rewrote them. They were one of the first things I thought of when creating my cures!

Maika: “I’m over the moon!”

Maika is very energetic and loves to exaggerate. I don’t plan on explicitly stating it in the series, but she is neurodivergent and gets super excited about her favorite things. I imagine that whenever she says her catchphrase, she’s doing a little happy stim with it. To make it better, her surname ‘Mochizuki’ means full moon! It ties together perfectly

Kirari: “It’s super shining!”

Kirari is somewhat of a local celebrity in Fuwayama because of her local idol status. With her bright personality and love of all things shiny, it’s a given that her catchphrase is what it is. It’s also alliterative, which makes my brain happy. She uses this phrase all the time, even when she isn’t preforming. Her name means sparkling, so there’s significance there too!

Kotomi: “Of course I knew that!”

As FuwaPow's resident tsundere big sister, Kotomi is a bit of a know-it-all. She prides herself on her knowledge and embodies the phrase, 'because I said so.' Although she started out using this phrase around only her siblings, once joining the team, she found herself saying it more and more; Which may or may not be because of her childish pink and yellow partners. There are times when she's surprised by a revelation and—in an attempt to keep her pride intact—blurts her catchphrase out with crossed arms and a bright red blush.

Sara: “Leave it to Sara!”

Being the mom friend is a tough job, but Sara never backs down from a challenge! She's always willing to lend a hand and even take over if she sees a friend struggling. Her position as Community Club President means she has plenty of experience with communicating and problem-solving. So when times get tough, Sara will step in to save the day!

Hotaru: “Wicked.”

To avoid spoilers, I won't say much. The only thing you need to know is: Maika taught her this word. Nobody knows why, but it was love at first word with Hotaru and 'Wicked.'

I'm sorry for the lack of updates recently! My first semester of college is flying by, but that means I have a LOT to do. I've been doing some redraws, and the main cast is getting a bit of an art style update! I'm so excited to share my improvement with y'all; So stay tuned!

#precure #magical girl #precure fanseries #pretty cure #pretty cure fanseries #fancure #magical girl oc #oc writing #anime oc #oc #original character #own character #own characters

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papillon82fluttersby · 1 year ago

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Famous Five Art Nostalgia #21 – Part 1

Introductory post

Masterpost

🙊📓🕰️ Five Are Together Again – Le Club des Cinq en embuscade

Original publication date: 1963 (UK), 1967 (France)

(Original cover art by Jeanne Hives, 1967)

We’re coming to the last book of the original series, can you believe it? (But this isn’t yet the end of this series of posts, stay tuned!)

Truth to tell, this is hardly the most exciting book plot-wise, despite the tantalising French title: “Famous Five Set an Ambush”!

Plot summary (adapted from Wikipedia):

The children are supposed to be staying at Kirrin Cottage, but as soon as George's parents' maid Joanna catches scarlet fever, the Five are sent to live with an old friend, called Tinker, and his famous scientist father, Professor Hayling, who first appeared two volumes ago in Five Go to Demon's Rocks.

Due to Professor Hayling’s low tolerance for rowdiness, Jenny [Jeanne] the housemaid suggests for the children to camp in a field behind the house.

(Tinker has not lost his annoying habit of imitating cars and motorbikes…)

(…but can also be endearing such as when he starts dancing with Jenny in excitement over her wonderful idea)

When they children get there, they see that several caravans from a travelling circus have started to settle in. Tinker gets very angry but it turns out that the circus has permission to use this field. The kids pitch their tents in a corner of the field some way from the caravans.

(Tinker is angry at the circus folk for intruding on his land, even more so when his pet monkey Mischief [Berlingot] starts fraternizing with the ‘enemy’!)

The children get to see the circus folks’ rehearsing, then have supper with them. Tink runs his mouth and blabs about his father’s secret work, which is kept in a tower next to the house.

(After smoothing things over, the children get on friendlier terms with the circus folk)

During the night, Jenny gets a scare when she sees a silhouette climbing up the tower, which seems crazy because the tower is vertical with no handholds or possible way to climb.

(Who’s climbing up the tower???)

But it was indeed a thief, as Professor Hayling discovers the next morning that several secret papers have been stolen. The Five decide to investigate around the circus, and they also make plans to hide the remaining precious papers on Kirrin Island, Professor Hayling being too forgetful to find a good hiding place for the papers himself.

(During their investigations at the circus, the Five get to see some performers rehearsing, including a contortionist that Anne finds very creepy, yikes!)

At night, George takes her boat to Kirrin Island to hide the remaining papers. But while still on the shore, she sees a light shining on the island, and suspects that the thieves are lying in wait to get hold of the papers. So she decides to hide the papers on the shore before rowing to the island. George does find two men on the island, one of them Mr Wooh [M. Karkos] from the circus and the other a crook who asked Mr Wooh to steal the papers for him. George escapes, unmoors their boat and strands them on the island.

The children call the police in the morning, and Tinker figures out that Charlie the chimp was the mysterious climber who stole things in the tower at Mr Wooh’s behest.

~~~~~~

Cover art through the ages:

(Disclaimer: This is not an exhaustive list; sometimes the dates are difficult to pinpoint; and I have purposefully not included editions that re-used similar cover art, with differences only in layout and font style.)

(Original cover art by Jeanne Hives, Hachette, 1967 – very graphic!)

(Jean Sidobre, Galaxie collection, Hachette, 1972 - prepare to see a lot of lying-in-wait in all the following covers)

(Jean Sidobre, Hachette, 1974)

(J.P. Morvan, France Loisirs, 1975)

(Nice group shot! Jean Sidobre, Vermeille collection, Hachette, 1974)

(Jean Sidobre, Hachette, 1978)

(Umberto Nonna, Edito Service, 1981)

("I spy with my little eye," Timmy seems to say - Yves Beaujard, Hachette, 1988)

(Charlie and Mischief are sharing the spotlight in this one! Paul Gillon, France Loisirs, 1995)

(Frédéric Rébéna, Hachette, 2010)

(Auren, Hachette, 2021)

~~~~~~

Thanks for reading!

#papillon82 reads #famous five art nostalgia #famous five #le club des cinq #illustrations #jeanne hives #enid blyton

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shinmiyovvi · 1 year ago

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Hello hello! Poppin in to see how you're doing!

I've been a bit absent so I've come to wrack your brain, any new updates or projects you'd want to share about??

I hope you're doing well Shin!

Hello, Spengs, hope you're doing well too 💖 This is gonna be a long read so buckle up

I did some think thonkin for a while even if my brain was already wracked when school started last week (Senior year was now being an ass on me for a freshman as myself) but anyways, enough of that. Let's jump in to what I have in mind for my projects and updates

Update: Barely hanging while trying to run this abomination of a blog with changing the blog's color, header, and tumblr website's theme while dealing with school and trying to brace myself this Saturday for my birthday as I try to accept that I am now getting older 🫠 (Also forgive me for throwing a bunch of MW content if you ever come acrossed with it)

Art Projects: Now, I am atleast trying my hardest to bring myself to draw my Cod MW oc Noemi in which I haven't quite made a proper reference sheet for her. Now that MW3 2023 was announced and will be releasing on November(?), I need to work on her new design for the sequel. I have made her MW2 2022 design and not with her MW1 2019 which is I am planning to do. Her info was still on a wip and the shipping was somehow changed? To tell you what, Noemi is turning into an oc/self insert and I am not complaining about it. Going to CoD Zombies, you thought those reference sheets of my ocs are final? No, and I hate it 🙃. There is just so many ideas of changing their outfits and I rarely even draw the Ultimis versions of them and also my other oc crew Salvatorix. I even have a lot of changes for my self insert design as well and need to work on it as soon as Christmas break comes or in Summer. I also need to add some casual outfits for my ocs for easy drawing cause I know sometimes whenever we had an art trade together, I feel like the designs are getting the best of us so I am hoping to draw their casuals to give ourselves a slack. But if you're still fine with their usual outfits then that's fine by me 💖. I'm still working on with my ocs' infos and also the Ultimis voice claims so stay tuned if I ever find a gap to my time to work on it. I will also make some references for the fic I am working on which is an oc x canon one. Lastly, I need to draw my SoE oc cause I haven't even talked or posted something about her for months now.

Fanfiction Projects: I still have 3 fics that are discontinued or still ongoing but ran out of ideas.And now we have 2 new additional fics. I've answered this from an ask from a friend of mine but I'll tell you as well. Under the Red Moon and Echoes of a Certain Past are two fics that I've planned. Under the Red Moon is an old au concept for the Primis crew but I changed the idea and use it for the lore change of the Vampire Knight and Noble Prince Au from before. Basically the story will be an oc x canon one since it focuses on Primis Nikolai and Primis Val. Echoes of a Certain Past is a fic that will be containing the past of my ocs, from Primis to Ultimis as the story will be divided into two parts, separating the two from each other. In the story, the story will be divided into four parts for each oc, starting from Val to Dragomir. If you want to know where to read them, these two stories will be posted here, Ao3, and in Wattpad but I'm still undecided to post in Wattpad since I've already made their cover pages of the two stories but let's see how these two will unfold. I may be a bit rusty when it comes to writing but I will try my best to make you all entertain as I will also try to research more and more about my ocs so atleast I could add up the historical vibes of it even if there will be also inaccuracies so please bear with me on this.

#asks #ask answered #so many plans and it pops up into my head in the worse time possible :'>#I may not guarantee you that there are parts of these projects will happen actually

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galaxylover06 · 2 years ago

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Hi! I absolutely ADORE your art style. Your wholesome Shadow art is so cute and fun!! And the way you draw Tikal is gorgeous. I saw a post you made back in June of a ghost Tikal design you made for a sonic au you have. If you’re still working on that au, I would love to hear more about it! :D

Hello! Firstly, thank you! I've been just loving making all the wholesome Shadow art, there's never enough of it!

-----💫

I am still definitely working on my AU, (which I think I'm definitely gonna call "Reverent Heart" I thought alot about it and I think that's what I'm going with, we'll see) a lot has changed sense that Tikal piece however, I do wish I could go into good detail on the AU but in terms of writing and story I'm still working on it all, BUT I do have key points and things I wanna focus on, so I'll dive a little into that!

-----💫

Of course, this AU centers around Shadow and Tikal, in terms of story I have A LOT on Shadow I wanna cover so I'd call him my little main, my protagonist so to speak, I got some deep, emotional stuff I wanna do with him.

HOWEVER I still definitely wanna REALLY explore Tikals character, I feel like many writers don't attempt to dive into her backstory and explore her dark origins so I can't wait till I can really get around to writing it!!

-----💫

While my AU is meant to be super close to the canon, I guess there could be a couple things that are technically very different, but more in the way of "this is how interpret this" from the canon, only time will tell

-----💫

Also just low-key there's probably gonna be a STUPID amount of couples in this, like my intentions are to explore a good story but I'm also a feral shipper and am genuinely curious on everyone's dynamic and how they function as a couple and teammates in battle (as goofy as that is)

-----💫

I can't say production is fast at the moment, I'm taking my time, a rushed story is gonna get me no where so I'm just rolling with it.

-----🌟

Tldr: story is still in production, my plan is to explore the characters and world of the sonic universe with my own interpretation of it all! And see how everyone's dynamics work and grow!

-----💫

Sorry for the long ramble, not sure if this is exactly what you wanted to hear but it's what I got (oh and more Tikal art is on the way so stay tuned for that)

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trackernivrig · 1 year ago

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Neon Genesis Evangelion, Bocchi the Rock, Iron Blooded Orphans

I just bought some new ones from Target, and they're only my favorite because they're new and don't have holes lol

Yes

I normally wear a dress shirt or polo shirt, but I do have a suit. I've been looking for an excuse to wear it but I haven't had any events or anything that require anything that formal. I'll probably use it when I interview for my first (non-minimum wage) job.

I like omelets the best.

Usually random pieces of paper I've folded up. Despite owning tons of bookmarks from Middle School that I took from the library.

Black/White. I almost always wear sweatshirts and most of them are black, and then if we count undershirts, most of those are white. I also have a ton of random T-Shirts but there's no consistent color theme.

I like to "collect" random wires and stuff. 3/6 of the drawers in my dresser are filled with random wires and assorted computer things. I also have a drawer for manuals and stuff, as well as random stuff I don't want to throw away. The last one is for clothes but I never use it because I'm too lazy to fold anything.

Playing nostalgic music tends to calm me down, and honestly I don't really think about smells too much.

Not sure if I've ever done one so I don't have a preference.

I don't but I definitely would see better with glasses. I went to the eye doctor and the prescription they gave me indicates no need for them.

Both of my best friends rant about stuff they're passionate about. A lot of people tend to tune out that kind of stuff, but I love to hear what they have to say. Most of the time anyway lol.

Pen. My handwriting is absolute garbage, so I really should use a pencil, but I prefer pens. Mechanical pencils are also nice, but since running out of lead, I haven't really used mine in a while. (also I do some really basic penspinning which is hard with a pencil lol)

I know this is a stupid answer, but my houses lol. My parents have split custody of me (I'm 20 now, but still live with them), and both of their houses are very welcoming to me. I really appreciate that honestly. Also the college I go to is pretty nice and I like being there.

If I had plants they'd die immediately, so I definitely would not be giving them names lol

I like all of them, but I prefer the newer ones since they feel better, and are more my size. That being said, there's 3 that I have as souvenirs. One from a college I went to back in high school for science Olympiad, one I got from my mom from her college (at the time I was planning to go there due to an employee family discount I now realize I do not qualify for), and one from my father as a souvenir from when he went to Turks and Caicos. Those ones have some sentimental value to them, but all of them are comfortable.

A new PC case and SSD. I'm going to get a PSU as well, but I wanted to put the parts I have together in the new case first.

Honestly, I think the moon landing would be really cool to have lived during. There's probably more but that's the first that came to mind.

It's funny, as a kid I alternated between a ninja and a Star Wars character every year lol. There were a few different ones like a Harry Potter one, and some scary ones, but those were the vast majority. As a teenager I also wore a Roy Mustang and Bleach Soul Reaper costume. I think the Roy Mustang one is my favorite, but I lost the stars that are supposed to be on the shoulders and that has annoyed me to no end (also the state alchemist pocket watch I have has the roman numeral IIII which REALLY gets on my nerves).

I SUCK at basic math. You tell me to do some addition, multiplication, etc in my head and 9 times out of 10 I'm thinking about it for like 30 seconds. But ironically I really enjoy math. Out of the classes I've taken so far, Calculus 3 has been my favorite, but I enjoy all of it. I'm decent at pretty much all of it as well (except calc 2 I stay away from that lol).

I don't look at historical art too much, but I enjoy seeing the different styles of art and seeing how different artists show different things more than I like one specific type. If I HAD to choose an artist though I'm 100% going with Bob Ross, the guy is an actual legend.

Hot. I don't drink coffee too much, but I really dislike cold coffee, and I love tea, but only hot tea. Other drinks like water I obviously like cold, but if we're talking about tea/coffee it's definitely hot.

I don't really sing in the shower that much. I only really do that in the car when I'm by myself and I sing whatever song is playing. Unfortunately that doesn't happen often since most of the songs I listen to are in Japanese and I don't know the lyrics lol.

No. Anybody who has been driving for under 30 years is not a good driver in my eyes. We're all just passable. You need experience to be good, and I feel like that doesn't come until you've been driving for A WHILE. That being said, I do try my absolute hardest to be a SAFE driver.

I do not, and I'm not really interested in either.

Most complicated thing I can cook is probably scrambled eggs lol. I could probably try to cook other things if I want, but it's much easier to just go grab something from subway or make a sandwich, and I value that convenience over the taste I would get from practicing how to cook (also I definitely have a stomach issue which makes me unable to eat without feeling terrible, so I don't want to waste my time cooking something I'm not going to eat).

I've got only 2 keys, my car key, and my car door key. For some reason neither of my parents ever gave me a house key so I don't have one lol. I don't have anything on them, but I do have this cool belt clip that has an LED in it.

I can't swim, and I'm not a fan of swimming. The water is always cold, and when you get out, the air is always cold. On top of that, I feel like there's not much I'd do other than just kinda sit around so I don't see any point to it.

Legos are awesome, and my brother has a ton of Lego Star Wars sets he got recently and displayed in his room. They all look super cool, and I can't just choose one that is my favorite because they all look awesome.

My closet right now currently has a ton of clothes on the floor, 2 printers (neither of which work), 2 monitors, and an old windows XP computer that the hard drive is corrupted. There's also a ton of random shirts on hangers. So yeah, not the most organized lol.

I use Youtube to listen to all my music, and the most recent music thing in my history is this: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyfmTCda7Tk) I haven't watched Gundam Seed, I just like piano and found the guy from his Long Forgotten Cloistered Sleep cover (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYvFFGxMd7Y)

I'm happy with my current hair color (dark brown), so I probably wouldn't die my hair. I feel like vibrant colors would look really weird on me, and I don't really want any other hair color.

Headphones. They're so much better. Earbuds are great for travel though.

Yes. It's not that hard, if you don't know you should figure it out.

I used to have a TON of stuffed animals as a kid. So many that we had to use like 5 garbage bags to get them all together. I believe they're still in the garage attic at my father's house. I don't really have a favorite, but I recently found one that wasn't put in the garbage bag that I've had for a very long time. It's a small cat one that meows when you squeeze it. It's super old though so it doesn't meow anymore.

I played a decent amount of Rock Band, so I'd say I'd probably be decent at Guitar Hero as well. I suck at pretty much everything else, but they're fun

I don't cook, as I explained in one of the other questions, but if I did I'd find it super annoying if people were in the kitchen while I was using it. Especially at my father's house where the kitchen is only wide enough for one person at a time.

38. One anime I watched that none of my friends ever watched was Basilisk. It was very good, and I recommend it if you haven't seen it. For music it would probably be Gloryhammer, but I don't listen to very much of their stuff, I normally hear them due to the Youtube algorithm when I listen to Powerwolf and Sabaton, both of which my friends know about.

39. Today was Father's day and we went to my grandfather's house for dinner. I actually am really disappointed because my stomach was acting up almost the entire time, so I was just laying down by myself for most of it. I did enjoy talking to people that came into the room I was in though.

40. Evergreen trees are cool because they look good all year round.

41. I was going to check but I can't figure out where I put it. It's some random old spice one. I just grab a random one when I run out.

42. I have Fate/GO, Magic the Gathering, and Chess. Chess is my favorite to play when I'm alone, Magic is my favorite to play with my brother (he's the only one that'll play with me lol), and for some reason I mostly play Fate/GO. I REALLY want a particular servant but I've got to wait until he's a pickup summon so the % chance to get him goes up.

43. Lights on. Still fall asleep though lol

44. I usually just put it in my pocket, then put it somewhere else and forget about it. If I find it later I'll throw it in the bag with the rest of my money.

45. No absolutely not. I'm trying to work on it. Last semester I actually payed attention to how my professors drew letters and tried relearning some stuff. I now write my a's and u's differently, and they're much more legible. There's probably a couple more but none that I can think of right now.

46. My friends normally recommend me shows to watch, and while my watch list is ever growing, the shows I do end up watching always turn out to be good. I honestly can't think of a time I had a friend recommend something I didn't like.

47. I like walks, but I don't go on them very often. I stay at home pretty much forever unless I have to get something to eat, or have something I have to do.

48. No, I never thought about that lol. I do have a favorite cup for tea though. I bought the trash taste mug, and I really like it. I don't want it to break though so I haven't used it in a while.

49. Stay inside and play some games. Bad weather means my friends are probably going to be inside too. I like to play stuff with them or watch TV-Shows/movies.

50. Absolute pitch black, fan on for white noise, and my cat is laying down next to me and not trying to lick my hair or something (this never happens he always leaves when I try to sleep).

Not sure why I answered all of those, I guess I was bored lol

50 Questions Just Because

What are three shows in your watchlist that you’ve been meaning to get to?

Describe your favorite pair of socks

Do you like smoothies?

What do you wear when you have to dress nicely?

How do you like your eggs?

What do you use to keep your place when you’re reading a book?

What color dominates your closet?

Do you collect anything? If so, what?

What sounds or scents calm you down?

What’s your favorite kind of uquiz question? (Lyric, color, aesthetic, etc)

Do you wear glasses or contacts?

What’s something about your best friend that you love?

Do you prefer to write in pen or pencil?

What are some places where you feel most at home?

Do you have any houseplants? Do any of them have names?

Describe your favorite hoodie. How long have you had it? What makes it unique?

What’s the last thing you ordered online?

What’s one historical event that you would have liked to have witnessed?

What’s your favorite Halloween costume from when you were a kid?

What kind of math are you best at?

What’s your favorite period in art history, your favorite famous work and/or your favorite style of art? If you don’t know any that’s ok!

Iced or hot drinks?

Which songs do you like to sing in the shower?

Are you a good driver?

Do you have any piercings or tattoos? Are there any that you want?

Can you cook or bake? If so, what are some of your specialties?

Do you have any keychains on your home or car keys? Describe them!

Can you swim very well? Do you like swimming?

Did you play with Legos as a kid? What was your favorite set?

Is your closet organized? If so, how?

What’s the last music video you watched?

If you could dye your hair any color, regardless of how you think it would look, what color would you choose?

Headphones or earbuds?

Can you read analog clocks?

Describe your favorite stuffed animal, either now or from when you were a kid.

What’s an arcade or table game (air hockey, ping pong, etc) that you’re really good at?

Do you mind if others are in the kitchen when you’re cooking or baking?

What’s one show you watch or musician you listen to that your friends know nothing about?

What was the best part of your day today?

What’s your favorite kind of tree?

What scent is your deodorant?

Do you have any games on your phone? If so, which one(s) is/are your favorite?

Do you shower with the lights on or off?

What do you do with spare change?

Do you have good handwriting?

What’s the last thing a friend recommended to you that you looked into and actually liked?

Do you like to go on walks?

Do you have a favorite plate or bowl?

What’s your favorite thing to do when it’s raining?

Describe your perfect sleeping conditions

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twistednuns · 2 months ago

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August 2024

Munich Micro Burn. First and foremost, learning my lesson: EMBRACE THE CHAOS. After all the planning and hustling and stressful weeks, nothing really worked out. First I was pissed, then I cried myself into a tiny nervous breakdown and eventually I just accepted it and went with the flow, enjoying myself. I didn't even do any workshops myself and completely gave up control. Acid Friday was magical on the dancefloor with my kaleidoscope and prism glasses. I went on a little trip through the universe and ended up in a cuddle puddle with Luna, Patri and David. Rainmaker massaged me. I was so happy to be reunited with Luki and loved hanging out with him in the pool or cuddle space. He shared a baritone sax fantasy with me. I also connected with Makelove (playing bingo) and Marjolien (following a black cat together, then I drew one of her heart notes - "there is no right or wrong"). I got buffed. And drank a lot of cherry slushie. Played with the ball pool equipment in the pool. And started a mud wrestling event. I reunited with Frank after months of hardly any contact. I made a delicious batch of creamy coconut porridge. I performed in the Consent Cabaret and initiated the Sonic Sound Experiment with C. (humming and tuning in together with an electric toothbrush). I happily ate Pombären in my tent and wrote down everything I wanted to get rid of into the old book we'd burn in Katharina's and Alex's temple on Saturday. I played on the swing and enjoyed watching my boyfriend's DJ sets. The opening ceremony was cute this year, too. We all got little keys and symbols for our archetypes.

A personal little decompression with C. I don't even know what we did all those days. All I know is that we started watching Twin Peaks.

Holding Charlie in baby pose. He even snuggled up to my chest.

Homemade pizza.

Getting a cheep red dress that is so comfy I wanna live in it for the whole summer.

Devouring a whole, moist mozzarella ball. Alone time. Dopamine mode with strange food, gaming, even smoking a few cigarettes. I don't really like myself when I'm like that though. I appreciate a pinch of control in my life.

Board game night with Margit and Ansgar. Having three kids around was a little too much though. Spiel des Wissens nostalgia.

Swimming in Klostersee during Golden Hour after L.'s sport event. Going to the other side of the lake. Watching the dragonflies (thinking of my mum whenever I see one after Ash's comment) and water lilies.

Test-driving e-bikes.

Cuddling with L. and C. on the sofa. With lots of blankets and pillows.

Having Kanako, Uli, Gyan and Jana over for a campfire BBQ and stargazing. Kanako shared a lot of stories and the next day we sat around in the kiddie pool together.

Riding the rollercoasters, water slide and boat swing with C. and L. at the amusement park. More cherry slushie. Discovering the Nordic theme world with obvious Midsommar vibes. There was a triangular church and eerie music playing. Inside the church you could ride around a tree in walnut halves and shoot at creepy little animals. Lian was super scared of the buffalos with the giant horns. In the evening, we drive through a medieval village and had delicious pizza and ice-cream. C. researched its history and came up with stories about witch trials.

Flutschfinger popsicles. So fruity.

Getting to know Christian's parents. They're pretty much exactly as he described them. It's creepy to see how he changes his personality completely when he's around them.

Getting to know Maike and Simon. Such wonderfully open, engaged, intelligent, easy-going people. She used to be a feminist porn director and now works as an art teacher. He used to be a climate activist and cuts movies. I loved their home (the green bathroom with yellow and pastel pink accents looked delicious), the conversations, dinners with their friends and daughters. We stayed in Ala's room. Of course I connected with her. Little girls always find me.

Mediterana Therme in Bergisch Gladbach. I've never visited a more beautiful spa. I especially enjoyed the Indian and Persian saunas, pools and courtyards. There were events every 30 minutes and there was so much art around. No kids allowed either. What a fantastic experience.

Richard Seewald's Surrealist painting Katze mit Salamander (I didn't even find the original - I bought the postcard in the gift shop before I even bought an entrance ticket). Walking through Museum Ludwig with Christian, calming down after a sensitive mood with tears and overwhelm in the morning. Taking photos in a far-off corner of the photography exhibition. Being inspired by the Surrealist paintings. I probably liked Ursula's Dunkle Messe best.

Only touching, no talking during the train ride. Earplugs. C. already knows when I need them and offers them to me.

A tiny corner of Cologne (my first time there): lighting a candle in the cathedral. Gift shopping on our way to Brüsseler Platz (I bought a glass straw, a Hamsa bookmark made from brass and a postcard as a thank you note for Maike and Simon). Balinese food. Chocolate coconut popcorn. Going home early, enjoying the night outside on the terrace after everybody had already gone to bed.

Cute children's books in Ava's room (one about a little girl going on a nightly stroll through the city with her dad because she's afraid of the dark) and in the museum shop.

Staying with Ludo in Eibelstadt. He let us stay there the first night even though he wasn't there. On our way back to Munich we stopped by again and went to his cabin in the hills behind the river with him, his partner Sophia and his son. He built everything himself! Such a cozy and cool place. We had a decadent barbecue and hopped into the warm jacuzzi after the boys had gone to bed. I performed a witchy little ritual on C. in the morning. Then we went to Ludo's other property to visit the old building there. Lost places.

Bubblegum pink nails.

C. sending kiss emojis and 111(1) reminders.

Guessing correctly which year a movie came out.

Late summer/early fall vibes. I can already feel a slight urge to bake zucchini cake and pumpkin quiche, watch whimsical autumn movies, read gothic novels. I started reading the first Practical Magic book and even found a copy of the Book of Shadows on the street in Leipzig. And when I bought a drink at Marie's Hoffest, the bartender girl tattooed a little magic wand on my wrist! It's the season of the witch!

Going to Leipzig for my Gestalt therapy training. Meeting my group. Observing my process. I'm very happy with my decision to ditch my yoga module and do this instead. I got the feeling that my empathy and intuition is very well-suited for the position of a therapist. I even managed to make someone cry because I helped him realize an important need in one of my first training sessions.

Learning about my role as a leader / how I want to be lead in an exercise with Tillmann.

Going into plough pose to help my back pain. Deep stretches. Recovery measures after hours on those tiny meditation pillows.

All the mirroring and the little insights it produces: that I'm hardly able to sit with a feeling. I always want to move on, find solutions, go deeper. Movement comes easy, stillness is hard. Which is quite fitting to someone's recent observation about me: I tend to avoid stillness and rest. / I can't feel myself very well. Which is why I push my boundaries. I don't even notice them until it's too late and at that point I draw a very strict line and establish tight boundaries. Too tight, of course. But I need to protect myself because I haven't taken good care of my needs before. / I can't tolerate weakness very well. Not in me, not in others. I want to learn how to lean into my own fragility more and allow it to come to the surface from time to time.

Listening to NOUK and Anna's beautiful voice. I adored her edgy haircut and the long white dress she was wearing.

Sitting outside on the balcony with Franzi and Marie, talking in the dark. / Drinking beer outside Marcus's camper van after class on Saturday.

(Vintage) shopping. I got a cheap yellow plastic ring, a wooden ring holder, a hair clip, and a funny postcard for C.

I got a copy of Psychologie Heute for the train and was surprised to find articles about the topics most relevant to me now: Gestalt Therapy, eating disorders, and especially boundaries.

C. picked me up from the train in Munich. It was lovely to see him but felt a little unfamiliar at first. On the way home he filled me in on his exciting weekend. We had a chat with his neighbors who gave us fresh produce from the garden and plum cake - which was fantastic because the fridge was empty so now we were able to make a big pot of creamy lemon-zucchini pasta. I loved touching each other's warm, naked skin. Reconnecting, tuning in. Going through an elaborate pop-up book together.

Hearing about C.'s very cinematic dream in the morning. Toasted bread with butter and honey for breakfast. Encouragement to become some sort of touch therapist. Apparently I've got magic hands.

Learning about Ursula Schultze-Blum and her fascinating Surrealist art.

Two harmonious, beautiful days at C.'s place. Journalling, drawing, making a shadow frame for the Hilma Af Klint altar piece. Visiting Tobi one evening, creating visions for the cabin and the forest lot. Pizza and a long evening walk with Marcus. Caring for the scared little red cat they caught to bring him to the vet. Watching a spider catch a fly, devouring it violently. Embracing my crazy urges. Eating scrambled eggs on cheese toast. Watching The Broken Circle Breakdown together, researching Bluegrass bands in Munich. Singing together. C. said I should find a Bluegrass band and sing with them instead of my gospel choir.

A summer afternoon outside. Ripping out vines, picking blackberries behind the vegetable garden. Memories of the brambles we had behind our house when I was young. Huge tomatoes, an abundance of beautiful butterflies everywhere. Biting into a ripe plum; vowing to make zucchini cake and plum dumplings when we get back from France.

C. carrying my backpack for me, entertaining me during the wait at the train station. Waving cheerfully after the train doors had closed and I was about to leave.

Drawing the Page of Fire, Playfulness - along with Adventure (Page of Rainbows). Writing about it. And the dream I had about feeling unwanted and criticized at home, trying to leave in overwhelm and chaos. And then there was C., smiling at me, embracing me, not even aware of the perceived hostility.

Emotional release on a physical level. This is new for me. I felt so nervous, was hardly able to hold the feeling in my body. It was unbearable. I ate some granola with almond milk and an apple. Lay down. And then my jaw started shaking uncontrollably. I was crying, grasping for air. I already felt better afterwards.

A hard massage from Pani. Coming back into my body.

Starting our roadtrip with a deep talk about having children. Visiting Kerem (I loved learning about his travels and diving, playing and drawing with his daughter, confusing the cat, looking at his design furniture), Makelove (our afternoon by the river was gorgeous; eggs and mayonnaise, land art, insightful conversations, learning something new about him), and Marjolien (eating salad on her balcony, learning about her passion for constellation work, her love for Tobi). Then we drove all the way over the San Bernardino pass. Enjoyed the view of the austere landscape and even saw a true cowboy up there. Dinner in Torino. Well-deserved sleep.

Making an excellent 90s Ethno-pop playlist on our way over the mountains between Italy and France. And the view from the top! What a lovely road we took.

Try not / to expect / anything - in this way / everything / will open up / to you (Buddhist teaching)

Arriving at Villa Josalie. Buying the most delicious snacks at the French supermarket. The friends dropping in one by one. Drinking wine and eating cheese outside, watching fireworks together.

#personal #present perfect #things i love #2024 #august 2024 #august

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