#I have ADHD because I was born with it and also had too much red 40 as a kid | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

alertarchitect · 11 days

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I... Think I'm experiencing one of those moments of wistful nostalgia that leads to the road of constantly missing and wishing for "the good ol' days," even though I know that line of thinking is what leads to a lot of the "look at how great the US was before black people could vote! Hell, before women could vote!!" nonsense conservative reactionaries spout, but... There's just something weird about feeling something and not realizing what it is until you've almost gone through it completely. Especially since there's this weird sense of mourning tied to it, which you'll understand in a bit if you choose to read on. I'll put a full explanation of what I mean below the cut so my nonsense rambling won't fuck with your tumblr scrolling. CW, I'm going to be talking about Rooster Teeth, which involves some of the controversies that came up towards the end of its lifespan, so if that stuff (including discussions of homophobia, grooming, and abuses of power for sexual favors) triggers your trauma response and/or you were a victim of certain parties who were fired from the company for good reason in the last few years of RT (if you know, you know, and if you don't, well I'll get into it under the cut), feel free to skip this for your own safety.

So, I was a Rooster Teeth fan in one way or another for a very long time. I first watched Red vs. Blue when I was, admittedly, far too young to do so (I was born in 2000, and I was watching it on YouTube on the first iPod touch I owned that had the YouTube app back when the icon for YouTube was still meant to look like an old CRT TV... Yeah, far too young for that show lmao), around 2010-ish got into Achievement Hunter thanks to the Halo Reach Fails of the Weak series, which lead to their Minecraft series, then I had a massive hyperfixation on RWBY (though I didn't realize it was a hyperfixation due to being very uneducated on the ADHD I knew I had because I was a kid, was scared out of agreeing to get medicated by my mother when I was diagnosed at around 6-7 years old if I'm remembering the time frame correctly, and was taught the idea that you "grow out of" being neurodivergent) for the first 4-5 seasons or so. I was even a Rooster Teeth FIRST member for years when I started working.

Now, obviously, I took a bit of a step back from watching them around 2020 or so when the controversy around Ryan Haywood being a grooming creep who allegedly succeeded at having physical relations with minors (while married with kids btw) using the power dynamic of them being AH fans as an entry point to conversation and a way to coerce them came to light - and I ended up staying with watching RT in general, though I was far more into Achievement Hunter in particular at the time, because I felt they had shown that the people around Ryan didn't know he was a piece of shit and genuinely felt disgusted, betrayed, and overall appalled at what they learned about him. I also ended up maintaining my FIRST subscription, which was yearly anyway so I couldn't have really paused it at the time since they already had my money, but I decided to stay with supporting them because I liked the content and getting the early videos, exclusive series, and other stuff through the app and website.

Fast forward to late 2022. Now, at this time, I was dealing with the massively first-world problem of liking the content RT was producing, though not as much as I used to because things had changed a lot and I missed a lot of the "IRL fucking around in our offices" stuff that seemed to have gone completely by the wayside by that point, but I was also up-to-date on all of the stuff on their site that I cared about watching and so I started watching more stuff on YouTube again since, once I had started paying for FIRST, I had basically made RT into my primary content source to get my money's worth out of it. I listened to a lot of the podcasts that were kinda branched out from the AH space, such as Off Topic, Face Jam, and F**kFace (no, I'm not self-censoring, that is how the name of that podcast was stylized), the exclusive stuff related to those shows offered through the subscription, basically all AH content, and more.

I was basically current with all of it, because earlier in 2020 I was kinda in friend-group-limbo, where I was finally trying to find groups of friends away from just being in groups that I was introduced to by my sister where everyone just knew me as her younger sibling, and it was only around early 2022 that I actually started getting into the consistent friend groups I have now that I would consider some of the people I'm closest to in my life, including the group that I met my boyfriend in - partially thanks to a somewhat-depression-fuelled obsession with Destiny 2 that started shortly after the release of the expansion The Witch Queen. Due to my mostly-friendless life before then, not really knowing anyone IRL outside of family, the one friend group I thought I'd be able to stay in (a FFXIV FC I stumbled my way into) turning out to be fairly transphobic leading to me just straight-up ghosting them and quitting that game, and all of this being around the time that I finally quit League of Legends - which was both a toxic presence in my life that I was no longer enjoying but was also the main avenue I had for meeting and hanging out with friends - I ended up spending most of my free time thanks to the pandemic on a few, specific things. Those being 1) Zelda BotW on the Switch I purchased with my first-ever tax return since I had only started working in 2019, 2) my mostly fruitless-at-the-time pursuit of finding people who actually liked and knew me for me, not just my association with my sister, and 3) watching lots, and I mean LOTS, of videos on Rooster Teeth.

Seriously, through both of my failed attempts to go to college, the COVID-19 lockdowns, multiple personal events that led to me being pushed out of former friend groups not-so-subtly by my sister as I was trying to be a part of her groups a lot thanks to me not really knowing how to find people to interact with IRL or online for a variety of reasons, losing multiple good jobs that paid me much more than I get at this shitty retail job thanks to my own inability to handle having a full-time job without being constantly late to shifts and shit (seriously, working full-time hours makes me feel like absolute shit and I don't know if I'd ever be able to actually handle going back to a full-time job, which is why I really want to try and set things up to start streaming and turn that into something to supplement my part-time work enough to be able to live off of it and get away from my mother who is... not great), and multiple short-lived relationships that I still mourned over fairly heavily (to be fair, I had figured out I was pansexual, but I only realized in the past couple of months thanks to my BF that I'm demiromantic... plus I just didn't find any potential partners who understood my troubles with not being able to constantly message back and forth 24/7)... Watching a bunch of Rooster Teeth content was my comfort space, even when I didn't actually have my own space due to cramped living conditions for about a year at one point. It was what greeted me at the end of a long day of work, what got a chuckle or two out of me at my most depressed, what really defined (to me) some of the humor I love to this day of just friends fucking around and doing bits, I could forget some of the serious shit in the world that was going on for just a short time with the nonsensical stuff that just went into straight-up weird territory that really started rearing its head with the Morning Show Show (but was very visible with stuff like Last Laugh), and more. So I watched it all, voraciously, insatiably. I was caught up on everything until early 2022, when I started getting into Destiny 2 and actually, y'know, having friends again, so I missed a video here or there I'd catch up on later, usually as something to listen to as I went to sleep.

Then Kdin Jenzen made her post detailing all of the horrifically homophobic and transphobic bullshit she dealt with during her time working there, none of which I knew about because it had happened during times I was either too young to fully remember or during times I wasn't really watching RT. A "nickname" used for years (during which time people knew she was queer, btw, though she hadn't come out as trans yet and idk if even she realized that specific detail at the time) that was born from the f-slur. Horrific crunch that basically everyone in the company was subject to, constantly, which didn't change even after she was hospitalized with fucking pneumonia. She wasn't getting credited for videos she worked on. Then, she came out as trans, and the treatment got worse, where she'd deal with the same levels of overwork and crunch time while getting isolated off in a corner to do her work because "people had no idea how to deal with a trans woman," only there to do far too much work while simultaneously getting pulled out like a trophy as if to say "See? We're inclusive!!!" despite her horrible treatment and isolation.

In short, even though there were "a handful of good people" as she put it (with who being apparent by who she gave positive responses to at the time when they publicly apologized for their past behavior - some noting they had done so privately in the past and felt a public apology was still in order - with others being given rather harsh ones, including Geoff Ramsey, a founder whom she called out for never using the power he had as a founder of the company and as someone very high up in the company to do anything to stop the bullshit she and so many others dealt with at RT over the years), the company itself was absolute dogshit. So, I did what anyone should do in that situation - I felt absolutely sick to my stomach because I felt as if I, a queer person, had been duped for years on end by an inclusive PR image, set my FIRST subscription to never renew again, couldn't even stomach watching what they released during the time I could still watch ad-free until my subscription expired, pulled all of my RT merch out of my closet (all of which I ended up donating to a local Goodwill except for one shirt, though there's another one I regret getting rid of now), and proceeded to unfollow a lot of the RT people I had been following for years at that point en masse, with the exceptions of those Kdin personally responded well to.

Fast forward to now. I'm going to assume we all know that Rooster Teeth started the process of being fully shut down by Warner Media earlier this year, partially due to low revenue, partially because I don't think Warner could stomach having anything media-related they own have content anywhere that wasn't on HBO Max. As of now, the website is basically fully non-functioning, with just a farewell video and a simple goodbye message iirc. The only way to get many videos that were FIRST-member exclusive over the years is via the Internet Archive, and with recent rulings, that may very well be in jeopardy if the people who end up with the various RT IPs decide to have them pulled for one reason or another. Yet, because of a tangent in a conversation I had with my boyfriend after playing some Warframe, I started wondering what had happened to the various people and channels I used to follow...

So I went down a bit of a rabbit hole. I'm even following some of the ones that were decent people at a bad company that have gone independent, sometimes buying the old RT IPs they were associated with, now... but something just feels off. I felt empty. And now... I realize what's going on. I'm feeling this sense of nostalgia for a specific period of time in the history of Rooster Teeth's content production, during which I may have been at one of the lowest points of my life, but those videos were a massive source of solace during. I'm also grieving over the loss of a fucking company that I didn't even really care about anymore, but in some part of my mind I kind of did because of how formative some of the videos it produced were to me. I'm watching the post-mortem of a company that helped define so much of what we know as the modern internet thanks to its start as one of the last vestiges of the old internet before everything became overly monetized and corporate, for better or for worse - months after everyone else that still cared has already processed it.

I'm grieving over the final, 100% irreversible end of one of the last things that - again, for better or for worse - was a constant source of being able to see something new that fit within formats I was used to seeing since I was a kid.

If I wanted to see an actual let's play that had more than the bare minimum of editing done for a VoD that isn't just constant, over-the-top bullshit, had actual interaction between the people in it that showed they were at least work friends, that had all of the POVs in one video instead of needing to hop to 17 different VoD channels to see everything... Those videos were what I would turn to, more often than not. Like I said, new videos but in formats I loved. Now... even though I haven't watched anything like the old AH videos in almost 2 years since Kdin's post, I'm feeling this... Gap. A void. If I want to watch gameplay, chances are it'll be a VoD of someone I like watching, yes, but something like that lightning-in-a-bottle of the old AH stuff where everyone was in a room together and you didn't have to watch multiple VoDs to see everything you wanted to see... I genuinely don't know if that really exists anywhere anymore.

And thus, I grieve a part of my childhood and young adulthood that is gone forever. Sure, I can buy an external SSD and put copies of all of the old videos I liked on there for me to watch whenever I want, such as RvB or a bunch of the old AH stuff (I could probably even find the FIRST stuff that was never on YouTube if I really tried), it doesn't change the fact that, though some vestiges of what once was will live on through different podcasts and channels made by the few decent people that were left in the ashes of the dumpster fire that was Rooster Teeth, new stuff made like that is, quite possibly, gone forever unless someone were to get enough money scraped together to be able to try and do something like it again - and it's unlikely it'd make enough back to be around for long in the modern age of content creation and consumption. Hell, to my (fairly limited, admittedly) knowledge, even before RT was shut down, the main channel they owned that I'm nostalgic for now was essentially shut down - Achievement Hunter was retired and the people that remained made something called DogBark.

It's a part of the unending march of time - things come and go, no matter how much of a constant they may seem in the background of your life, even if you aren't engaging with them how you used to. But even knowing that... This one's hurting a bit as I finally process it. Especially as I take the time to write a post about it to be able to get these thoughts out of my head and off of my chest without directly weighing down those around me with my glum rambling about a shit company I didn't even watch anymore going under. It just feels... wrong, in some way. Hell, I'm anticapitalist as shit, but because of how formative those videos were to me for so long, I'm mourning the shutdown of a shitty fucking company that was a WARNER MEDIA SUBSIDIARY!!!

The human mind is a hell of a thing to have to deal with sometimes, huh...

#nostalgia #rooster teeth #rooster teeth shutdown #processing something way after it happens isn't fun #but hey it's happening and I'm dealing with it now I guess #didn't even realize how much this COULD possibly affect me until tonight as I write this at...#5 in the morning holy shit I've been banging away at this aimless ramble for 2 hours wtf #Anyway gonna schedule this one for a more reasonable time because I weirdly want people to see it and I don't really know why #but time to sleep for a good while... though maybe not too long because I'm going to need to get my sleep back on track #for a 9 hour shift at the store I work at this Wednesday #which is now tomorrow I guess

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skyland2703 · 9 months

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Everyone’s making OC kiddos for their characters so imma do it too— this is so CRINGE omfg PLEASE don’t @ me

Full blame to @lordkingsmith and a lil bit to @augment-techs and @azurezfiction

Amelia and Javi’s kids:

Adelyn Garcia

(Yes that’s Emma Roberts from scream4—)

Addy was an accident— neither of them knew what to do— yes they were together, but they weren’t sure they were ready. They had decided almost for an abortion, but Amelia changed mind last minute, when she saw the way Javi smiled at her, when he told her that no matter what her choice, he was going to support her anyway— she knew she wanted him forever. She knew she wanted kids with him.

At twenty years old, Adelyn can be a little hot headed, can also be a little very irresponsible, but has a good heart. Following in Javi’s steps, to become a musician, Javi and Adelyn often do duets together. A lot of her personality comes from Javi— especially her love for marshmallows and anything sweet. When she was a kid, she and Javi would sneak into the kitchen at midnight and drain all the snacks, and Amelia would throw a tantrum in the morning with a “WHICH ONE OF YOU WAS IT—“

As she grows up… Adelyn starts becoming… not too fond of her mom. For reasons. At sixteen, she dropped Jones from her last name. I still need to fish this out a bit more, but she and Amelia used to be close, but something happened, after which they just grew distant, and she moved out. Amelia still cries about this every night. Javi doesn’t know how to fix it.

Amelia’s Rafkonian powers get split between the kids, so Adeline gets the antlers, physically, she looks like Amelia, but personality vise, she’s a mini Javi— only a little more emo XD She’s quirky, usually happy, but the second you infuriate her, she WILL destroy you. Sharp tongue and all. Eight piercings and two tattoos, she’s sexy, smart, and everyone wants to be her, or be with her. Possibly a red ranger…?

Next up we have:

Hazel Garcia-Jones

Three years younger to Adelyn, this boy is chaos. He’s gay, he’s emo, he’s rebellious, and he listens to everything his mama says. He’s got the mind reading powers, he can hold someone’s hand, and know all secrets— and it’s even better than the other rafkonians, because no antlers pop up every time he tries to read someone~ He hates his eyebrows. Nobody can sleep secrets from him. He got them from his dad. Only pierced ears, scared of getting tattoos, but loves his twink form. Keeps his hair long and curly, most of the time.

He’s not a musical prodigy…. Which was much to Javi’s disappointment— but Javi didn’t wanna be a repeat of his relationship with his dad, so he was all supportive and sweet when he told him Hazel wanted to be an artist. Has ADHD as bad as his dad’s, and can hyperfixate on a painting he likes for several hours, without food or water. Amelia is usually there to point out that he needs to eat, and stuff— just the way she does, with Javi. She loves her boys, more than anything in the universe.

He likes reading books. You can find him curled up in a corner in the public library devouring books after books after books. He’s horrible at maths, but his language and depth in perception is beyond

Not a ranger, per se. He was given an offer, but he turned it down on account of ill health.

More pics of the sibs:

And a few dark!headcanons:

Hazel is not too physically fit, and has a weak body. Sure he’s pretty, but the internals are a mess. He frequently collapses, coughing out blood, and has an immunity of a rabbit. When he was born, he was kept in an incubation chamber for almost three months, and the doctors weren’t sure he’d be able to make it. He does though. He’s a gamer and an artist, spends most of his time locked in— still coughs up blood sometimes, still has to undergo minor surgeries to keep himself alive, but he’s making it through.

Adelyn tries to commit suicide three times between the ages of twenty two to twenty five. I’m still a little at blanks with this part of the story, but it’s gotta do with something along the “I hate my mom” storyline. Hazel found her on the bathroom floor, once, panicked, and called every single ambulance he knew of, along with mom and dad. Once, she was found by her partner— Ollie and Aiyon’s kid (still need to fish out their personality)— and the third time, she was just lucky some neighbours saw her jumping off the building. She’ll never tell Javi why she did it, of course. Amelia knows deep down it’s because of her.

Damn wtf is wrong with me WHY DO I THINK OF THIS KINDA STUFF—

Anyway thank you for reading!!!

#hazel’s fc is Ander Marrius btw #I’m writing this rn because I can’t fucking stay up till midnight if I don’t think of Javelia or smth—#gosh exams should never fall on birthdays #power rangers #power rangers dino fury #amelia jones #javi garcia #javi x Amelia #Javelia #power rangers cosmic fury

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jes12321 · 2 years

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Scooby Doo Redesign

Because I cannot stop thinking about it.

[art credits at bottom]

Fred Jones

💙 Frederick Steven Jones

💙 19 years old

💙 he/him

💙 Currently identifies as bisexual, but he’s still figuring it out.

💙 Autism

💙 Caucasian (like, the whitest boy to ever white)

💙 Adopted by a middle class family as a baby. Considers his birth parents the biggest mystery yet.

💙 Mom friend of The Gang. He has a satchel that’s really just a mom purse that he takes on all the mysteries. It has baby wipes in it.

💙 Is the one who got the whole Gang to really start hanging out. He dragged them along on their first mystery. Apparently almost dying is a big bonding experience.

💙 Owns the Mystery Machine. He bought it at a junk yard and fixed it up himself. It was a labor of love and he cares about it more than anything in the world (except maybe his friends)

💙 Hyperfixates on mystery and/or traps.

Shaggy Rogers

💚 Norville Dennis Rogers

💚 20 years old

💚 he/him or they/them

💚 Pansexual demiboy

💚 Anxiety, ADHD

💚 Black/African-American

💚 Born into a new-money, rich family. They were very supportive of Shaggy when he told them he didn’t want to take over the family business.

💚 He is usually either stress eating for has the munchies.

💚 Scooby Doo is his support animal. He doesn’t do the best job (considering) but it’s the thought that counts and Scoob would never leave Shaggy hanging.

💚 Got the name “Shaggy” In kindergarten because he refused to let the barber cut his hair all year.

💚 Has a prescription for medical marijuana. Uses it liberally.

Velma Dinkley

🧡 Velma Ruth Dinkley

🧡 18 years old (baby of The Gang)

🧡 she/her or they/them

🧡 Lesbian

🧡 Autism

🧡 Jewish-Mexican

🧡 Both of her parents are Jewish-Mexican as well. They own a small tourist shop in their town and live comfortably enough to be considered middle-class.

🧡 Has literally the worst vision ever. Lenses so thick she has to get a special coating on them so they aren’t so heavy.

🧡 Doesn’t necessarily believe in God or religion, but still practices because it was mostly how she bonded with her parents as a kid.

🧡 Skipped a grade in elementary school. She could have skipped another, but her parents didn’t want her to be with kids that much older than her.

🧡 Hyperfixates on different science fields and history. Comes in handy a lot during mysteries.

Daphne Blake

💜 Daphne Ann Chun Blake

💜 19 years old

💜 she/her

💜 Bisexual transgender

💜 ADHD

💜 Korean-Scottish

💜 Born into an old-money, rich family. Her parents have very high expectations of her and often compare her to her older sisters.

💜 Her mother is Scottish and her father is Korean. He took her last name when they married, but Daphne and all her sisters have the second middle name “Chun” because that was his family name. Somehow Daphne and all her sisters got their mom’s red hair.

💜 When she came out as trans to her parents, they were actually really supportive because they had always wanted all daughters.

💜 Jack of all trades. Her parents made her do everything they could think of to make her “well-rounded” which just ended with her having a lot of random skills.

💜 Has difficulty sticking to one thing for too long before getting bored of it. The mysteries keep her on her toes.

Other info

❤️ The Gang met in a history class they all had together. Shaggy was a senior and needed to retake the class to graduate. The rest of the gang were juniors.

❤️ They are all in a polyamorous relationship with each other. I might make a chart later. Who knows?

❤️ Scooby talks. There is no explanation. No one questions it.

❤️ They are a family. This is very important. They all care about each other.

Art Credits

Also show support on their website:

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yannysifgen · 1 year

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Hiya! :-D I've been meaning to reach out w some questions and finally decided to commit!!! ;v;

Idk if it's stated anywhere, but I'm curious what inspired the concept of the game? And what made you choose Lucien as his name bc it fits him so well <3

I'm also really curious abt the original plot of Rosalind's Lie, how much of in-game lore do we get to see? Or is it only mentioned in passing here and there? Just the idea of a game's storyline (RL) inside another game's storyline (IITAOAYD) intrigues me a lot

Sorry for the long ask ;v;!

Hii!! Thanks so much for reaching out! If you think your ask is long then wait till you read this answer haha... But on that note it's totally fine, I absolutely love reading any and all ramblings because I'm a rambler myself (it's the adhd) and like to consume new knowledge, even if I can't actually retain all of it :') (btw I love Mychael and can't wait to see what you do with the rest of the game aaa)

Honestly, the idea just kinda came out of nowhere one day (my brain does that) because of the recent(?) boom in yandere games, I was thinking what kind of yandere I might make and just thought of a concept where mc might be isekai'd into the yan's garden and he kind of immediately gets attached because they're 'untainted' by the world and other people and wants to keep it that way.

I should mention that I'm a fan of isekai genre in general because it's such a self-indulgent escape from our boring mundane lives, a kind of fresh start that a lot of people wish they had access to. Ironically though, I prefer the isekais that are more focused on living a new life as opposed to getting op powers and making waves in the world

Back to the topic, didn't really think too seriously on it till I saw the yanjam announcement and decided why not. Then I decided to add the reincarnation/otome isekai tropes into the mix to make it more interesting, except that mc is themselves and not another character. So stories like "My next life as a Villainess: All roads lead to doom!" and "Death is the only ending for the Villainess" (I promise it's two different things) come to mind for inspirations.

The game will lightly parody these popular tropes, which is why if Lucien looks like every other 'Duke of the North' with his red eyes and black hair(but less buff as I'd like because drawing men is an ongoing struggle for me) then it's on purpose. His name....... well it's honestly embarrassing but it really just comes from angel/demon inspo while talking it out with a friend, since Dukes are mostly portrayed as 'monsters' in comparison to the angelic Prince or so, when in reality it's the other way around. So its kinda like Lucifer...Lucien... yeah, not very creative but I also wanted a name that could be turned into a cute nickname(Lucy) so I decided to roll with it.

Since I gave such a specific name like "Rosalind's Lie" for the og game, I do intend to flesh out the story at some point, though for now I only have rough concepts because I'm terrible at planning lore I'm so sorry. But that somehow didn't stop me from being ambitious with it because I'm weird like that. Anyways, Rosalind's Lie is named so because the titular character Rosalind kicks off her relationships with the eligible bachelors through lies. As for why, it's because she was born in the slums and orphaned at a young age, and had only herself to rely on to survive. Thanks to that she's very street-smart and cunning, and by chance she caught the attention of a kind Baron who decides to adopt her. He was nice enough, but not very smart or ambitious, which she felt was a waste, so she decides to make her own fortune in life and marry rich - she's really more like a villainess than a heroine lol but basically she encapsulates both roles. Her "lie" in Lucien's route is basically her nicking his brooch during a ball and pretending she found it and returns it to him, which prompts him to invite her for lunch or something as thanks. And then she plans various other small schemes because he's notoriously hard to get a hold of but eventually starts liking him for real.

I'm actually not sure how much of the og lore I'll involve in yanduke, other than mc occasionally making some callbacks when they're reminded of something, because mc is isekai'd before the plot of the game starts this time, which is ofc heavily derailed and non-existent by then thanks to our yan.

Sorry for the late reply, I actually had to knock around the old noggin to articulate an answer, but again, questions like these are always welcome because it actually helps me formulate some plot points too!

#yd ask #yanny talks #yd lucien #isekai'd into the arms of a yandere duke #yd #yandere #yandere vn #so sorry for my ramblings my brain is a mess and I can't help it #im honestly not organized enough to create a whole ass game but I still enjoy doing it!!#if you're into isekai pls give ascendance of a bookworm/honzuki no gekokujou a try its so good the worldbuilding is something I aspire to #but also its not at all romance focused so lol

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peccaberry · 1 year

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tell me at length about your fave character(s) and why they're so blorbo to you

Rei is legally my emotional support Blorbo at this point so I'm gonna use this to talk about him for a sec ❤️

The version of Rei I vibe with most is the one that's more or less an OC I made for my fanfiction stuff! I consiter everything that happens in Legends of Arceus to be canon to him and I kind of just made up everything else other than that.

God idk where to start so I'll just list a bunch of Rei facts and shit in a sort of list order

BEHOLD, THE REI INFO DUMP:

-Rei's full name is Rei Akabane and was born in Johto to a Johtoan father and a Unovan mother. The last name Akabane loosely translates to "red feather" and is also the name of a train station in Japan!

-Rei looks a lot like his dad while his little sister looks a lot like his mom. Rei's hair has never lain flat in his entire life and it's definitely his dad's fault.

-Rei's mom is a Pokemon Trainer with a dream of eventually becoming a fire type gym leader. She is incredibly skilled and spent her younger years training by batting on the Battle Subway in Unova.

-Rei's Dad is a mild mannered engineer with a good sense of humor and a kind disposition. He met Rei's mom when he was on a work trip to Unova to help do work on the Battle Subway. He saw a crazy fire lady absolutely tearing through her battles while laughing manically and fell in love immediately. They got married a few years later and moved to Johto where Rei was born.

-Rei had a very good childhood with parents and a sister who loved him very much. When Rei was younger he didn't understand that he wasn't also the dad of his new baby sister and insisted that he was because he loved her just as much as dad. They grew up to squabble like any siblings would but were also pretty close with each other.

-Rei grew up around fire type Pokemon because of his mom and has a soft spot for them because of it. He chose Cyndaquil as his starter Pokemon because of this and still likes to wear the associated fancy kimono as his non-work clothes.

-Rei knew he was gay before he was taken by Arceus but was only out to his online friends. He really enjoyed being a part of the online LGBT community and it helped him gain a lot of confidence in himself. He was considering coming out to his parents but was taken before he could make that decision. He feels sad that he never got the chance to know how they would have responded but thinks it would have been positive.

-Rei and his family moved to Jubilife Town ~ a year before he was sent to Hisui for his Dad's job. He hadn't really made any particularly close friends there but was hopeful about the way his life was going.

-Rei's favorite hobbies are soccer and music. He took piano lessons from a young age and learned Ukulele as a fun thing to do with his dad when he was a bit older. He's pretty talented and has a good singing voice. He plays soccer for his school's team and that's where most of his friends were met.

-Rei's dream job is being a pokemon ranger and he's still big mad that it's no longer possible. He had applied to get in to the school but was taken before he found out if he had been accepted into the next semester. Justice for my boy, he could have done it.

-Rei was put in anger management therapy when he was younger because he kept getting into fights. He had a really good therapist and usually manages to keep things under control. He has an incredibly kind heart and it helps him to think about the consequences of his actions on other people and situations around him.

-Rei is really sarcastic and goofy and likes to have fun. He tries not to take things too seriously and likes to act like a moron but it is just an act. He's very much not stupid and has pretty high emotional intelligence.

-Rei struggles to sit down and read because he has both ADHD and Dyslexia. He gets around this with audiobooks but hasn't been able to listen to any since being sent to Hisui and it bums him out.

-Rei did passably in school but was nowhere near a star pupil. He did the best he could but school is not set up for people like him unfortunately. He's clever, but not in the way a school curriculum is set up to measure.

-Rei's "type" is honestly just exactly the kind of person Volo is. He fell in love so hard and fast he might as well have been competing in the homosexuality Olympics. The fact Volo never noticed is honestly really impressive on his part, the Arceus blinders were real. Rei managed to put his life back together after Volo betrayed him but never felt like he got any real closure for his feelings.

-Rei knows how to skateboard and used it pretty regularly just to get around. He can do a few simpler tricks but nothing too fancy.

-Rei's favorite kind of music is 2000s pop but he's the kind of guy who will go for any genre as long as he vibes with the song being played. He doesn't care if people think the songs are cringe, they're *his* cringe and he lives for it.

-Rei has high platonic attraction to woman and they tend to adopt him pretty quick because he's kind and never hits on them. He comes across as a guy who just genuinely wants to be their friend and hang out and it's part of why Akari got so attached to him.

#peccaspeaks #achillies come down fanfiction #ask #pokemon rei #rei pokemon #pokemon legends of arceus #pokemon #pokemon legends rei

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metamorph6se · 7 months

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INTRODUCING: The Eras Legacy, by Taylor Swift

first and foremost, hi! i've been playing this legacy on my own by now, and actually lost what i had of the first generation because i changed saves, but i thought i should stop being a ghost here and actually post something and interact!

like i said, i lost a lot of stuff so i'll work with what i have now and explain later what i don't.

FEARLESS: Juliet McGrath

❝ in your life you'll do things greater than dating a boy on the football team, i didn't know it at fifteen ❞

straight, esfj

was the youngest child of four before her mom died, when she was just a toddler. her dad became obsessed with work after and she and her brothers were basically raised by her big sister

was kicked out after she became pregnant at fifteen by her boyfriend and next door neighbour, jesse mcgrath. she was welcome in by her big sister, abgail, who moved out for college and stayed there for the whole duration of the pregnancy, with she and her boyfriend still finishing high school,

the triplets were born and jesse worked long hours as an athlete to provide for her and the kids. after they have grown a little, she hired a nanny so she could finish university, but dropped out to pursue her career as a singer

she became a global star, moved out to del sol valley where she currently resides. she and her husband are known for their big parties and the love they have for the triplets, even if some feel as like she has a favorite daughter...

LOVE STORY: Jesse McGrath

❝ marry me, juliet, you'll never have to be alone. i love you and that's all i really know ❞

straight, esfp

was a football player most of his life, retired recently and is now a businessman.

did what he had to do to support his wife and is very devoted to her, but still feels like he was too young to marry. maybe that's why he has some issues regarding fidelity, even if he never acts on his desires.

favors johanna a lot because he feels like juliet doesn't like her as much as her other children, and as she is also an athlete, she is the one he connects with the most

likes dogs a lot

DEAR JOHN: Johanna McGrath

❝ dear John, I see it all now that you're gone. don't you think I was too young to be messed with? ❞

doesn't labels herself yet, enfj

has bpd and had several behavioral issues when she was younger, so now everyone around her has that impression that she's a super mean and agressive person, when she's not

has a lot of anger issues and a strained relationship with her sister emma because of that, culminating to the point where she destroyed emma's school project. she fought a lot with violet when they were younger too, even if now their relationship is okay

obssessed with ballet and becoming a prestigious ballerina ever since she was little, and will go to any lenghts to fulfill that goal

has a boyfriend that she loves a lot, alexander zhang. they met a party that he was invited because he's the brother of her best friend, beatrice. he was talking with her sister emma when they met, she doesn't know that he's in love with her sister, though.

INNOCENT: Violet McGrath

❝ i hope you remember today is never too late to be brand new ❞

lesbian, non binary, uses they/them pronouns

discovered themself as a pre-teen and came out, their family was very supportive, especially their sister, emma. that's why they support emma so much even when she's wrong: because emma was always there for them.

they're autistic and struggles a lot with communication and making friends. their special interests are science and pokemon.

is in love with nani kealoha and doesn't know how to tell her yet

SPEAK NOW: Emma McGrath

❝ please don't be in love with someone else, please don't have somebody waiting on you ❞

bisexual, enfp

has adhd and hiperfixates a lot on fantasy books. she dreams since whe was little of becoming a famous author. some of her favorites include red, white and royal blue, they both die at the end and the song of achilles

currently works as an influencer as a part-time job

met her best friend, alexander zhang, during a party the triplets threw when their parents were away. they were smoking weed together and laughing and she never felt that way for no one else, but she was not prepared for a relationship with anyone. that's why she introduces him to her sister, and they start hanging out, but it's nothing serious at first

during a halloween party that's thrown by her parents, she and alexander decide to go as tuxedo kamen and sailor moon together, he approaches her and they hook up. after that, he tells her that he and her sister just became boyfriend and girlfriend, and she almost throws up because she had just betrayed her sisters.

she decides to not tell her because she doesn't want to jeopardize even more her relationship with her sister when she didn't mean any harm by what she did. now she feels that she's catching feelings by alexander, and doesn't know what to do because he feels the same for her, and is only with her sister because he can't get with her.

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priceofblindeye · 3 years

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The Riddler is an Alt Right terrorist!

POST SUMMARY AT THE VERY END for those who don't want to read all of this! Alt right terrorism is so deep rooted in white supremacy, racism, sexism, homophobia, and anything and everything that "endangers their traditional values", this entire claim is INCREDIBLY far off. Now that i've said that, I can reassure you guys that this is not going to be a post justifying Edward Nashtons behavior. This will also not be a post claiming that he is an alt right terrorist. I'm going to be discussing some information about Edward Nashton, quoting Matt Reeves, and explaining the depths of this character that must have been missed by the average viewer. Recently, on Tiktok, I've become more and more aware of judgement towards the people who claim they relate to the new Riddler. There's a lot of shame pushed onto those who could possibly empathize with this character. There are frequent comparisons to the very typical "joker guy" meme that blew up after a lot of toxic masculine batman fans had adopted the persona of the Joker and used their mental health issues as excuses for harmful behaviors. While I can already see a lot of romanticized red flags of Edward Nashton (stalking, non-con, dead dove fics, etc) this does not mean that Edward Nashton is canonically the scum of all characters and therefore means whoever likes him, is too. Maybe you guys should get some therapy though.. Let me start off by saying that Edward Nashton/The Riddler in the Batman 2022 is literally intended to be the opposite of the Batman. For those who don't know.. Edward Nashton was born into a family of lower class, this was only implied later on when he lives in an orphanage, because he was unfamiliar with the idea of having so much wealth. In the book, "Before the Batman", we learn that Edward Nashton used to look up to the Waynes, but eventually was very envious of them. He had to constantly walk by the portrait of Thomas, Martha, and Bruce. Wealthy people who'd never experienced any of the hardships he'd already faced by the age of no older than 12 years old. In the movie, we learn that the orphanage was overcrowded, thirty kids to a single room. This shouldn't be a surprise with how many men, women, and adults are likely murdered or die of poverty, illness, and neglect. When Edward mentions that in the winter it got so cold, the babies would die? How did this happen? The movie talks about how the Renewal fund was basically going to help support the city and those that need financial assistance. It could pay for Orphans schooling, the bills to maintain the orphanage, food and supplies, and even extra activities like giving those kids a genuine childhood. Yet all of the Mob, the GCPD, everyone took advantage of it. When Thomas Wayne died, the GCPD and Falcone took control and kept the money for themselves, because the money they made from illegal drug trade wasn't satisfying enough. When the Waynes had died, everyone forgot about the Renewal Funds purpose and the promise that Thomas Wayne intended to fulfill.. This made everyone blind to the reality that it was being misused. "At least the money makes it go down easy." For finances, Edward as a teenager had to bike all through Gotham City delivering food just to make money to support himself and go to college. Edward Nashton is HEAVILY autsitic/adhd implied. In "Before the Batman" it was confirmed Edward Nashton did not do well in school yet he was very smart. Most typically, people with learning disabilities like ADHD are very smart but do not do well in school because the american education system caters to neurotypical kids. This is why he turns to puzzles. Quoted by Paul Dano in one of his interviews, that the only validation and success he ever got was through solving things like riddles and puzzles. "The Riddler is a person who is fed up, he's done. He's probably blamed himself for a lot of the failings in his life. He sees that maybe it wasn't all his fault." Edward Nashton went to college, while Bruce Wayne traveled the world, going to college after college for a short amount of time

learning different things. This fueled Edwards hatred for Bruce, because he

had the wealth to just throw away to pay for full tuition, just to not stay for the entirety of them. Edward then moved on to begin working as a forensics accountant. For those who don't know, this job was taken on by Edward because he viewed it as solving a mystery. The job of a forensics accountant is to look into fraudulent charges, and other illegal acts involving money. This job was likely how he became more aware of the abuse of the Renewal Fund and followed the breadcrumb trails that unmasked what was really happening in the city. All this being said, there's no possible way you could say that you wouldn't be incredibly pissed at least, that your entire life was been screwed over because of some greedy adults who wanted the money that was meant for you and a lot of other kids. Especially not when you've witnessed this greed literally take the lives of kids who never had a chance given to them. There's a lot of trauma and mental illnesses that could be developed just looking at the surface level of the shit that Edward Nashton had to go through growing up. This in particular, fueled Edward Nashtons motives. The motives that prove he is not an alt right terrorist. Edward Nashton is the embodiment of a revenge arc similar to Cruella, Glass, or Terminal, but he goes too far and puts innocent lives in danger. The story of a person growing up in miserable conditions because of money, or lack of, because of rich mens greed, (implied) ableism, untreated mental illness, and the affects of trauma gained at a young age is absolutely a story that i'd expect people to enjoy and relate to. The line is drawn however, when Edward Nashton intends to kill Bella Real, and flood the city. This is the terrorism that is very much a toxic part of the character that is not okay to be romanticized. This is what a majority of people who call Edward Nashton an incel, or alt right terrorist seems to fear will be praised and romanticized. What he does is not racially motivated at all, nor is it ever meant to be an act on enforcing white supremacy ideology. Edward displays the ideology of a Left Extremist. This dramatically changes the character and affects what community he draws in. Edward Nashton appeals to the community most likely because majority know he's the product of a very damaging childhood. Especially in a time where money and the accumulation of wealth being hoarded by corrupt individuals has been so incredibly prominent and a leading cause of struggle in our real world. Allowing a very neurodivergent, queer implied character to be admired and embraced by a community cannot be harmful so long as there is no erasure of the wrongs he has done, just as embracing Darth Vader, Arthur Fleck, or Loki as a beloved villain. All of these villains have varying levels of realism to their methods and attacks they've done as the villains of their stories, just as Edward Nashton does. So where do these fans get the idea that Edward is an Alt right terrorist? Edward Nashton is a white, cisgender man. Because they see someone in a messy, small apartment who's mentally unwell, and using the internet to connect with other civilians to organize criminal activity, these fans might likely take those traits that we as a society see come from racist, privileged white men most often, and focus on those rather than the overall picture. However, there seem to be some misconceptions about him that should be addressed. 1. He is not from a privileged background, and he is implied to be disabled. Take with that what you will. I'll be making a MASSIVE post about my psychological analysis of Edward Nashton later. 2. I believe that because of the consistency that men are often excused after reacting or behaving violently over any small inconvenience in their life, this is what people are afraid of and therefore automatically view him the same as many of the men they've personally witnessed behave in such a way. What people are missing, is this behavior that Edward has shown is the product of enduring traumatizing hardships his entire life. The fear

that

men will completely misinterpret the character is valid. Any misinterpretation of the character at all is a valid reason of concern. 3. Edward Nashton has looked at and admired Batman, a vigilante who gets praise to some degree by brutally beating and attacking criminals. He's using fear to scare people out of the toxic, damaging, and ruthless methods they've picked up to survive living in Gotham City, a city that is not taken care of by the higher ups and political figures. The city that is run by a crime boss! Edward Nashton saw someone doing this, and was influenced by what he viewed as a hero, to go a step further and target the real problem. At the end of the day, Bruce Wayne was only hurting people who'd been given no other choice. Like Selina says, Bruce must have come from a wealthy background to believe that some people CHOSE to live a life of crime. He wasn't fixing the issue. Edward targeted the real criminals, gathered evidence, and then went a couple steps further than the Batman. That doesn't justify his actions, but it does show how much Bruce didn't know. After all, the biggest message from the movie was"don't idolize someone until you truly know and understand them." That being said, WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE ENJOY THE VILLAINS? Usually the people who enjoy villains are labelled as Villain Apologists! What is a villain apologist? A villain apologist is someone who excuses horrible behavior that villainous characters have done. In all honesty, fans of villainous characters are commonly mistaken as villain apologists. Most cases of villain apologists i’ve witnessed revolve around the Joker of all villains. He’s done almost every possible thing a bad guy could do, and a lot of very disgusting people often time idolize him. There's a real psychological study that I'm going to copy paste, and summarize, done by Science Connected Magazine that I think should be read! People care about their self-image and tend to see themselves in a positive way. Moreover, they try to avoid any negative associations that would damage their self-image. In this case, the researchers explored whether people favored villains as a safe way to explore darker traits or actions without fear of judgment. For example, Harry Potter quickly denied any similarity in personality traits with Lord Voldemort when Voldemort said that he and Harry were very much alike. In fact, people try to avoid any information that would jeopardize their positive image of themselves. But would it feel as threatening to be compared to a villain in a different universe, such as Magneto from X-Men?

The researchers predicted that story villains would provide an outlet to explore a darker version of themselves that would be immoral to act out in real life.

Fictional stories of villains may provide a safe haven for you to explore a darker side of your personality. This sense of safety may come from the fact that there is a psychological distancing between you and the villain. While you may fantasize about killing your bullies, you know you aren’t a murderer like the Joker. To test this idea, the researchers looked at whether people were still interested in villains when their sense of safety was threatened.

In a low-threat scenario, each participant was asked to rate their interest in a movie in a hypothetical situation where they would be watching it alone. The researchers compared their responses to their answers regarding a high-threat scenario; participants rated their interest in seeing the movie on a first date rather than alone. The researchers predicted that the context of watching the movie on a date would influence their choices in the next activity.

Next, the participants received a text message from a “close friend” with a screenshot of a movie and a message comparing the person with the movie villain. Afterward, the participants rated their interest in watching the movie with someone. The study revealed that the perceived higher threat of a first date made people less likely to choose the movie if the villain reminded someone else of them. Interestingly, people were more inclined to choose a movie that had a villain with a similar personality to their own if they were going to watch the movie by themselves. This study adds to earlier findings that people feel safe exploring villains that remind them of themselves, as long as it can be done privately." In summary, The Riddler and majority of villains will be looked at and likely empathized with because of the person looking at them! If a friend was connecting with Loki because of a terrible relationship with their family, their connection doesn't mean they'd stab their brother, betray you any chance they get, or try to destroy a whole planet. Look at it from a more empathetic stand point, as cringey as it may be for someone to really dislike a character. There should be no shame put on anyone who likes Edward Nashton or finds him fascinating. If someones love for the character concerns you, all you need to do is ask them how they view the character. If they praise his terrorist motives, then clearly they're someone to worry about. It's 2022, and we're just beginning to see the end of a pandemic that has torn down our mental health with a lot of traumatizing events. Many of us no longer have the ability to mask the traits of mental health issues, disabilities, and some have even discovered personality disorders. Connecting with a fictional character shouldn't be something that's frowned upon, unless that character was a literal n*zi, r*pist, or predator. If someone does not desire to associate with you because of the characters you enjoy, they're not worth keeping around. if you truly cannot accept that someone likes a character, then there's no need to enforce others to hold the same ideals, or make humiliating, shameful posts on social media normalizing bullying behavior. I've gone on long enough about this, and realized I have many articles I'm going to have to write to ensure this one isn't too long and spirals off on a bunch of different topics. SUMMARY!: Edward Nashton is a left extremist. He's incredibly traumatized, which explains why people may relate to him. Most typically, people who relate to villains with tragic backstories will relate due to their ability to see themselves, and to blur or ignore the evil behaviors the characters exhibit from pushing them away from the character or finding that their connection is worrisome, because it should be a given that the person would not mirror the characters toxic traits. It's best to acknowledge the flaws of a character, and to not erase them. Call someone out if they are showing toxic signs of connecting with a character. (Claiming they ARE the character, using the character to excuse harmful behavior, etc.) Thanks for coming to my TED Talk!

#edward nashton cosplay #battinson #paul dano #the batman #paul dano riddler #edward nashton #the riddler #edward nashton x reader #edward nygma #riddler #the batman 2022 #trigger warning #villain apologist #villain lover #villains #psychology

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becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys · 2 years

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Hello, multiply disabled person here, and I have a lot of thoughts about your werewolves! To start with: anything that magically cures a disability, even temporarily, is immediately sketch and makes me personally uncomfortable. This is because a lot of disabled folk don't *want* to be cured. I'm autistic with chronic pain. I have ADHD and learning disabilities. I'm three anxiety disorders in a trench coat.All of these are tied up in my nervous system in one way or another. I'd love to be without my chronic pain and anxiety, but never at the expense of my autism or my ADHD, because those two are absolutely central to my identity as a person. I don't want them cured. (And there's growing evidence that fibromyalgia and ADHD may be linked somehow--literally the best treatment for my fibro is my ADHD medication--so the chances of curing that hecking with my neurotype is HIGH.) But if you mess around with changing up my nervous system at all, chances are you'd mess around with those. Possibly in unpredictable ways. So if I were a werewolf, and growing a whole new wolfy nervous system when I shifted was gonna impact anything with my disabilities, I... would not want to shift. I'd hate it. I don't want to do that. But if I had any CHOICE in the matter, if I could keep my neurotype and selectively reduce or eliminate my pain? Yeah, sure, that could be okay? Maybe it's a bit like the trans werewolves, where what you *want* and how you see yourself impacts the results? Also consider the inverse of phantom limb syndrome if you go with "in wolf form, you grow back limbs you've lost." Someone's so used to *not* having an arm or a leg that they keep forgetting they have it now and it makes them clumsy. And what about folk who were born with an atypical assortment of limbs? They've never known themselves any different. Would they WANT to be a wolf with the full number of legs and such? What about people who were born without an entire sense? Will they suddenly obtain that sense as a wolf? Would they even be able to process it? (If I'm remembering correctly, there have been studies on this, and most Deaf and Blind folk who later in life get medical interventions to give them a lil bit of the sense they've never had actually don't enjoy it.) So basically what I'm saying is... you may have to consider each kind of disability in turn, find out what the community of folks with that disability feel about their disability and if they'd like a fix for it or not, and if yes, if that fix is a *medical intervention* or *social change.* Because a lot of us actually really don't want our disabilities to be cured or fixed or magically handwaved away. A lot of us don't even consider ourselves disabled by the medical model of disability. Don't try to fix what isn't broken. We hate when you do that. And if you do alleviate some disabilities in wolf form, be very, very careful about how the person in question feels about it. If they end up always wanting to stay in wolf form because they hate their disabled human life so much? That's overdone, offensive, and harmful to the disability community. Stay far, far away from that. Our lives are full and rich and absolutely worth living, and so many narratives out there paint us as tragic and pitiful and it makes me so mad.

Yes, you're absolutely right - there won't be a one-size-fits-all answer here, because disabilities cover such an absurdly broad spectrum.

Love some of these points, too, like being clumsy when suddenly having extra limbs that you're used to not having and the like. That is a very fun concept to play with in this setting.

Thank you so much for this! Super useful, especially the red flags to avoid.

#blood and silver #disabilities #long post #asks

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pan-fangirl-345 · 3 years

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For You, And You, And You

Summary: As if falling in love with three people who are already in a relationship isn't bad enough, you start coughing up flowers a few months after you figure it out. Now you have a decision to make, but you don't think it's really much of a decision anymore.

TW: Blood, vomit, unrequited love (not really unrequited), angst, hurt (there is comfort!), swearing, mentions of overstimulation (not the s*xy kind), and mentions of panic attacks. These sound bad, but there is a happy ending, I promise.

A/N: I know that I have other things that I need to be working on, but this has been running around my head all day and it seems like a good idea.

Side notes: Sign language usage, hard of hearing Bakugou, ADHD Kaminari

If I have forgotten anything, please let me know!

YOU WATCHED AS Bakugou corralled Kaminari and Kirishima towards his room so that they could study together, laughing when Kaminari threw you a look that practically screamed, 'SOS'.

"What are you laughin' at, Princess?" Bakugou snapped, glaring at you. "You're comin' with us!"

"All my homework is done," you informed him, glancing at them over the top of your book. "I don't need-"

"You're coming," Bakugou repeated, grabbing his blond boyfriend by the collar of his shirt when he tried to escape, practically dragging him.

You stood, knowing full well that Bakugou was not above dropping his boyfriends in his room and coming back for you the way he had for Kaminari.

"Fine," you grumbled, stretching with a sigh when multiple parts of your body cracked and popped. "Just let me grab my things."

Five minutes later you were leaning against the wall of Bakugou's room, right next to the door.

You were, according the Bakugou, guarding the door in case his boyfriends tried to escape for whatever reason, but you were pretty sure that he knew that you were sitting there so you could make a quick getaway.

You didn't mind studying with Bakugou and the boys, but it was awkward for you, given the circumstances.

Bakugou, Kirishima, and Kaminari had been dating since the break before your second year of high school. Halfway through second year and they had settled into a rhythm of sorts after many failed attempts and a lot of backtracking.

It wasn't their relationship that made you uncomfortable though, it was the fact that you spent so much time with them.

Normally, spending time with them would be an honor, but being in love with them made things complicated.

Especially when they seemed hellbent on spending as much time with you as possible.

You propped your book up on your knees, finding your spot before you pulled your headphones on.

They were low enough that you could still hear the boys talking, in case they needed to get a hold of you for some reason, but still loud enough that you could hear the beat and the lyrics.

Two taps on your shoulder had you looking up.

Bakugou tapped his ears twice.

It had been a code you had worked out.

Because of your quirk, you sometimes needed to keep your headphones on as training, and when they boys tapped you twice and then tapped their ears they were asking if you needed them on or if you could take them off.

Good thing about being friends with Bakugou was that he taught you sign language, so you had a way to communicate with the three of them if you needed to keep your headphones on.

"What's up?" you asked softly- just in case Kaminari was still sensitive- as you pulled your headphones down around your neck.

Kaminari had fried himself during training earlier that day, and his senses became sensitive after he regained himself, not that anyone had figured it out until recently because he refused to be any kind of burden.

"Can you help Dunce Face?"

"Always," you said, scooting over to see what Kaminari was working on, careful to avoid contact. "Hey, Kami, what do you need help with?"

When he pointed you in the right direction, you started working with him once you made sure Kirishima was understanding what he was working on too.

Bakugou tended to work by himself and then check on the others when he needed a break or once he was done with his own homework.

There were times when he would help them if they asked, but Kirishima and Kaminari were both stubborn and thought that they shouldn't need the help, so they tended to wait until Bakugou took a break.

It was one of the reasons Bakugou kept you around when they had these study sessions.

You were almost always available when they needed the help and he couldn't break his own concentration.

You checked on Kirishima once Kaminari was on track again.

He had been making leaps and bounds when it came to his classes after these study sessions had started being a regular thing. Kaminari had too, simply because Bakugou kept them on track and he was able to teach them in a way that they would remember and could understand.

They still weren't high in the class rankings because according to Kaminari and Kirishima, "Todoroki, Bakubabe, Midoriya, Iida, Momo, and you are all some kind of mutant geniuses," but they were doing better than Mineta and Aoyama were.

Bakugou had earbuds in, and he was nodding his head along softly to whatever he was listening to.

You had made a collaborative playlist with everyone in your class except for Mineta, and they always added their favorite songs, or ones they thought you might like to it occasionally.

You now had a playlist over 60 hours long, and you were constantly being surprised by who added what. Not only had it been a good way to get to know your classmates, it had also been a good way to irritated everyone when you blasted it through the dorms.

You had separate playlists with Tokoyami, Bakugou, Kirishima, Kaminari, Midoriya, Jirou, Mina, Uraraka, and Shinso.

They were the ones that listened to music the most, and their interests aligned with yours more than you thought they would.

Shinso, who was going to be replacing Mineta- much to everyone's relief- was someone you had come to know through Kaminari, and you had never regretted a thing.

Kaminari tapping on your shoulder brought you back to the present, and you turned your attention to him, explaining a concept he didn't quite understand yet.

Bakugou was at his desk, and Kaminari was spread over his boyfriend's bed, while Kirishima sat near the head of the bed, leaning against it as he worked.

When Bakugou stood from his desk with a stretch, you finished up your explanation, making sure Kaminari understood.

You scooted back over to your spot when Bakugou sat down near his boyfriends.

You shut your book, leaning your head back against the wall as you listened to one of your favorite songs.

When the song was over, you glanced at the boys.

They seemed fine, so you stood and exited while they were distracted.

You shut Bakugou's door quietly, heading for your own room.

A tickle in the back of your throat had you pausing to cough into your hand and clearing your throat a couple of times.

You knew that if Bakugou thought you were even the slightest bit sick he would kill you, and harshly nurse you back to health with a lot of yelling and cooking.

You really hoped it was just a small cough.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NOT JUST A SMALL COUGH, you thought-panicked- as you stared at the three different flower petals in your hand.

Your cough had gotten worse over the last couple of weeks, but no one else seemed to have noticed, not even Bakugou, who was known for knowing when someone was sick even before they did.

You had heard of this.

Hanahaki, a disease born from unrequited love. A disease that would grow inside your lungs until a) you confessed and the feelings were reciprocated, b) you got the surgery that would take away the flowers and the feelings you had for the person(s), or c) you didn't get the surgery and the flowers slowly started to block your airway and injure your lungs and throat until you choked to death or died of malnutrition and dehydration from the damage to your throat.

A) seemed like the best option, but there was little chance of that happening.

You sighed, tucking the petals away in your suit pocket.

You knew you would have to tell someone about the problem soon, especially if they started to injure your lungs, which they likely would.

But for now, it would be your dirty little secret.

You had been going to the library after training, checking out books on flowers, trying to figure out what kind of flowers you were coughing up, since it might tell you who you were in love with.

You had a feeling, but you really hoped that you were wrong.

With further investigation, you found that you weren't wrong at all, quite the opposite in fact.

All three petals, despite being different colors were sunflower petals.

The red ones symbolized energy and passion, and while that one could have been for all of the boys, you knew that petal meant one of the people you were in love with was Bakugou.

Normally, people associated red with Kirishima, and while that was also true, you had a gut feeling that the red petals were for Bakugou.

The orange ones must have been for Kaminari then. They symbolized high spirits and happiness, and while Kaminari had his bad days, he could make you feel better even when he was having one of his bad days, and you loved him for it.

Which left the yellow ones for Kirishima. Goodness, truth, and endurance were definitely something you associated with Kirishima, and the brightness of the petal was a reminder as well.

You let out a shuddering sigh when the realization set in that you either had to confess and hope for the best, or get a surgery that would erase your love for them permanently.

"There you are Princess," Bakugou snarled softly and your jerked upright at the sight of all three of them standing there, looking worried.

"Hey, what's wrong?" you asked.

"You aren't in my room, for one thing," Bakugou said, eyes roving over your little workspace. "Taking an interest in botany?"

"Sort of," you said. "Someone's been leaving me flower petals, so I was wondering if there was a specific reason."

You had prepared the lie in case of something like this, you were just hoping that Bakugou bought it.

"Is that so?" he inquired, eyes sharp as they took you in.

Kaminari and Kirishima locked gazes over Bakugou's shoulder, some expression crossing both of their faces for a few moments before they went back to normal.

"So what are they?" Kaminari asked.

"Red, orange, and yellow sunflowers," you admitted.

You gave the boys a run-down of what they meant, but you noticed that Kirishima and Kaminari continued to share looks with each other, while Bakugou seemed to be scrutinizing your every move and word.

"I'm sorry that I missed your study session," you said after a few minutes.

"Don't worry about it," Kaminari said. "It's not like we're forcing you to go. We understand that you have other interests sometimes."

You noticed that he used the words 'we' and 'we're' and you wondered if that meant just him and Kirishima, or if that extended to Bakugou too.

"Still, I should have-"

"It's in the past," Bakugou interrupted. "Just make sure that you're at the next one."

"I promise I'll be there," you told them, smiling brightly, ignoring the urge to cough out more petals.

The amount of petals that you were coughing up continued to rise every week, and it was getting harder and harder to hide as time went on.

You knew that pretty soon, you would start coughing up full flowers instead of just petals, and that was what scared you the most.

You knew that you would have to go to the doctor soon, just to see how long you had before you were in serious danger, but you wanted to hold on for a little bit longer.

You wanted to hold onto the feeling of being with them for just a little while longer, before all that was left was the memory.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

YOU SHOULD HAVE ACCOUNTED for Aizawa though.

Despite his normally disinterested nature, he had grown attached to your class in the time he had you.

You may have been problem children, but your class were his problem children, and he had made a habit of checking in on all of you at least once a week.

"Who is it?" he asked as soon as you sat down across from him.

He had called you into an empty classroom, and you knew what he was asking as soon as he said it.

You pulled the petals out of your pocket- cleaned and pressed, because what were you, an animal?- and said, "Take a wild guess."

"I thought I raised you better than this, (Y/L/N). No loud blonds and no problem children, but two of those three are all both of those things, and the other might as well be!"

"I know, but the heart wants what it wants," you murmured, taking the petals back.

"What are you going to do?" he asked.

"I have a doctor's appointment on Monday, after class, so that I can see how long I have," you confessed. "After that, well, I guess the only option I have is to schedule the surgery. It's my best chance, even if it's gonna put me out of commission for a while, and there's a chance that it'll come back, everything considered."

"Have you tried telling them?" Aizawa asked.

"No," you admitted, shaking your head softly. "I don't want to burden them with this, and they want to be heroes, they would try to save me even though there's nothing they can do for me."

Aizawa nodded his understanding, but then sighed.

"In between your appointment and the surgery, if you need someone to talk to, Present Mic would be your best bet. He's gone through this before, and he's honestly better at talking with people about their feelings than I am."

"What happened?"

"In his scenario, he didn't need the surgery. I didn't need it in mine either."

Aizawa fished a ring on a chain out from under his capture scarf, and gave you a small smile.

You couldn't help the smile that spread across your own lips as you realized what this meant.

"I'm glad," you said honestly. "For the both of you."

"I want you to at least try to tell them," Aizawa said. "It couldn't hurt."

"I respect the hell out of you, Aizawa-sensei, and the same goes for Mic-sensei, but I'm going to have to say 'oh fuck no' to this one," you told him. "I really don't think that's a great idea."

"Well, I can't force you to do anything, but I really think that they at least deserve to know."

"I've started writing in journals," you admitted, pausing to cough petals into your hands before you continued. "I'll have someone give them out when before I get the surgery. Midoriya probably, he seems like the most trustworthy. Todoroki is another option. I want someone who isn't going to look through them."

Aizawa nodded, but he looked sad.

He laid his hand on your head, and it was comforting.

"I was hoping none of you would have this problem," he admitted softly. "I remember how horrible it was."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm just surprised that it was you, and a little disappointed."

"I'm sorry," you said again and Aizawa shook his head, removing his hand.

"You have nothing to apologize for, (Y/L/N), this kind of thing can never really be helped."

"I'm still sorry to have burdened you with this knowledge though. This kind of goes without saying, but . . . can you keep this on the downlow? I don't really want anyone fussing over it. The other teachers are fine, and they probably need to know, but I really don't want anyone other than that knowing."

"Are your parents aware of what's happening?" Aizawa asked.

"I told my mom, and she told Dad. He threatened to come, but I told him that it wouldn't do anything other than make things worse. They know about the appointment and the surgery since I'm a minor and I still need my parents for certain things regarding insurance and the like."

Aizawa nodded again, standing.

"You're free to go, and I promise to do what I can," he told you.

"Thank you Aizawa-sensi," you said, shaking the hand that he offered you.

"You don't have to thank me for this," Aizawa told you, looking for all the world like he would do anything to make the situation better.

"Still, thank you," you said.

He nodded, and you could feel his eyes on you as you walked away down the hall.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I heard that you have a doctor's appointment later," Bakugou said when you walked into his room for the usual study session.

"Yeah, I've been feeling a little bit off lately, and I was need of a physical soon anyway," you said.

"Are you okay?" Kaminari asked, taking your face in his hands to look you over for a moment.

"Kami," you murmured, putting your hands on his. "I'm fine. Just weirdly achy, it's nothing, I promise."

"It's enough that you're going to the doctor," Kirishima argued.

"You boys worry too much," you teased.

Your heart clenched at the sight and knowledge that they were worried about you. They worried about everybody, but this was a new level that you had unlocked recently.

"You're getting paler, and you've been coughing a lot lately," Kaminari argued.

"And you're getting slower during training. You took a hit from Racoon Eyes that you should've been able to dodge," Bakugou chimed in.

Damn, they really must've been worried about you if Bakugou was joining in.

"It's a cold," you said, exasperated. "It'll be gone in a few weeks."

"But-"

"Drop it," you snarled.

Kirishima and Kaminari flinched, going quiet, but Bakugou's eyes narrowed and he took a step towards you.

"I'm sorry," you murmured, curling in on yourself, immediately regretting the outburst, "but you guys are making a huge thing out of nothing. So I haven't been feeling so hot lately, but there's not a lot you can do. Besides, like I said, I'll be fine in a few weeks. At the worst it's a virus that I have to fight off on my own."

Bakugou's eyes narrowed further, and you could still see the hurt behind Kaminari and Kirishima's eyes.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you," you told Kirishima and Kaminari. "I get bitchy when I don't feel great. That's not an excuse though. I shouldn't have taken it out on you. Come here."

Both boys moved to hug you, and you smiled at them.

"You want in Bakugou?" you asked when you noticed he was still watching you.

His face flushed pink and he snarled, "Not a fuckin' chance."

"Come on Bakubabe," Kirishima teased, opening his arms, and Kaminari followed suit.

"I have no idea why I'm in love with you fuckers," he muttered, but he walked over and let his boyfriends bring him into your little hugging circle.

"Thank you, guys, for being worried about me, but if there were something really wrong, I would let you know," you promised, hating the way the lie felt on your tongue and the way your eyes stung with unshed tears.

You let yourself soak in their warmth for a little while, tucking that feeling away, making yourself memorize the way it felt, before you let them go.

They weren't yours, you reminded yourself. They weren't your boyfriends, as much as you wished that they were.

"Let's get this show on the road," you told them, smiling brightly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Miss (Y/L/N)," the doctor said when he stepped into the room.

"That's me," you told him.

"So I understand that you're here because you've recently gotten Hanahaki, is that correct?"

"Yes."

"And, please correct me if I'm wrong," the doctor said with a wince, "but you've been coughing up three different colored petals?"

"Yes, one for color for one person," you agreed.

"Well, that's a problem," the doctor said, going over whatever was on his clipboard.

"Why?"

If this guy was going to be one of those assholes that had a problem with you loving more than one person, you were going to-

"When someone is coughing up flowers for more than one person, that dramatically decreases their time frame," the doctor said. "Loving one person means it's easier to avoid them until a decision has been reached about what they want to do. Two people is harder, but doable. Three people is hard, and given your current schooling situation . . . I'm sorry to say that my hopes aren't high."

You took a deep breath, or tried to, and let yourself take a moment to despair what was coming next, to think of worst case scenario before you steeled yourself.

"So what do we do?" you asked.

"Well, we have to do some tests on your lungs," the doctor said, "maybe a scan of some sort. I will also need to know the nature of your relationship with the people you are growing the flowers for, and their relationship with each other. It may affect the plant growth, and could sway any decision you make on your treatment plan."

"I'm getting the surgery," you told the doctor. "I made that decision before I even made the appointment. I've made the decision that I'm going to be selfish about this. I'm in the hero course. I'm going to graduate, and I'm going to help the people that need it. Not even Bakugou goading me into anything is going to get me to change my mind about this."

"Bakugou," the doctor mused, "is that . . . ."

"One of the guys I'm growing my flowers for? Yeah, he is. The other two are his boyfriends. I have a fucked up taste in partners apparently," you joked.

"Ah, you're one of those patients," the doctor said.

"Hmm?"

"You make jokes to help cope, and to try and put someone else at ease. You don't have to do that here. I am a Hanahaki specialist, I see a lot of people like you."

"Okay," you murmured.

After testing your lungs, and doing some scans, the doctor took you back to the original room.

"So, given the fact that you live in close proximity, and you have to spend a lot of time with all three of the various reasons, plus estimated rate of growth and your training routine . . . I'd say you have about a month left before you start heading towards red territory, meaning you have about a month before it starts becoming exceedingly life threatening."

"If I go into the red area," you began, "how likely is it that the surgery is going to be successful?"

"Depends on how far into the red you go," the doctor said. "Until about the halfway point, there are still high chances that it will be successful and that you will make a full recovery. Any further than that and the chances start decreasing dramatically."

You nodded, taking all the information in, processing it, tucking it away, applying it to situations that might happen.

"I can practically hear the gears turning in your brain," the doctor told you, giving you a small smirk.

"Sorry, habit," you said with a wince.

"You're taking this extremely well," he noted.

"I'm in Class 2-A," you told the doctor. "I've dealt with some bad people. Things like this don't faze me for long anymore."

"Fair enough," the doctor replied. "There's not a whole lot we can do for Hanahaki, even this early, so you just have to live with it until you set a surgery date."

"I have a vacation coming up," you admitted. "I'm assuming I have to go somewhere else for the actual surgery?"

"That's correct," the doctor said. "We aren't equipped for that here, we're just the starting point."

"Okay."

"I can give you the number for the hospital you can go to to get the surgery, and you can set everything up there or give them a phone call."

You nodded, taking the piece of paper the doctor handed you.

"I noticed that you came alone," the doctor said.

"Yes, I thought it might be easier this way. My parents aren't taking this well and the only people I felt comfortable bringing with me for this kind of thing are going to make it worse if I spend time with them, so my best bet was to come alone."

"I see," the doctor murmured. "Do your parents know that you're getting the surgery?"

"I told them, they know," you said.

"How did they take that?"

"Mom cried a lot, and Dad got mad and stormed away. They have mixed feelings about the whole thing. On the one hand, they're happy that I fell in love, they have reservations about it being who it is, but they could get over that, and they're upset that I have the disease in the first place. There's also the fact that getting the surgery has so many major side effects and they're skeptical. In the end though, they know that it's my decision, and I think Aizawa-sensei might commit murder if they don't let me make my own decision, and he made that very clear to me."

"So you have a support system?"

"Yes, quite a big one everything considered."

"Then you're free to go, but please give me a call if something changes."

"Thank you."

He nodded, sending you on your way.

When you got back to campus, the boys were there waiting for you.

You smiled when you spotted them, jogging over.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the end, your routine with the boys didn't really change. You still trained with them, still studied with them, but when they started asking you to join them places, you refused.

First of all, you weren't going intrude on their time together.

Secondly, as much as you would have loved to spend time with them, the plant growth was something you had to take into consideration.

You had started journaling for them more, the red one was for Bakugou, the orange one was for Kaminari, and the yellow one was for Kirishima.

You had decided that Tokoyami was your best bet for getting the journals to the boys before your surgery. He likely wouldn't snoop, and he could be trusted to get the journals to the boys when he was supposed to, not before when they had a chance to try and stop you from doing what needed to be done.

You had yet to talk to the boys about the side effects that the surgery might have on your mindset towards them, but you figured you still had time to find a way to broach the subject with them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER.

You were pushing it with your training as it was, and while you were getting stronger, your lungs were getting weaker and weaker as the flowers got bigger and bigger.

"You're pushing your luck," Aizawa said, frowning down at you.

"I'm fine," you growled. "Put me in the fucking brackets. I'm getting the surgery next week, I want to get in as much training as possible before I'm put on leave."

He frowned, and he was glaring at you enough that anyone else might've backed down, but you were going to hold your ground on this one. There was absolutely no way you were missing this opportunity because your body decided that it was going to be a bitch.

"Fine," he grumbled. "Bakugou, you're going up against (Y/L/N)."

"Bring it on Princess."

"Don't hold back Blasty," you teased.

"Do I ever?" he replied.

"No," you said. And that's one of the reasons I love you.

When you both climbed into the ring, you knew it would be a good fight. You had so much stored frustration that you could take out on Bakugou without fear of harming him.

Without use of your quirks, it was almost a fair fight.

As soon as Aizawa yelled, "Start!" you were flying at each other.

Blow and block, block and blow.

It was like a dance, and things were going well for the both of you, but then Bakugou got in an unblocked blow to your stomach.

Had that been with the added force of his quirk, you would've been on the other side of Gym Gamma, but without his explosions, it just made you roll to just inside the boundaries.

You struggled to pull yourself up in between the coughing, but you were having a rough time with it.

You managed to push yourself up with your arms, but you still couldn't breathe.

You couldn't hold back the torrent of flowers that spewed from your mouth from the force of the blow. You hadn't been coughing, so there was quite a build-up in your lungs, throat, and mouth.

Bakugou launched himself, seeing an opening, but a hand held out by you had him stopping.

"Is she puking?"

"Is she alright?"

"What's going on?"

You heard Kaminari and Kirishima rushing to your sides as Aizawa ended the fight, but you waved away their help.

You were still coughing, but you managed to push yourself to your feet, though you swayed dangerously into Kaminari's side.

You were panting by the time the flow of flowers and petals stopped, and you were leaning heavily on Kaminari.

"(Y/L/N), get to Recovery Girl," Aizawa ordered.

"No, I'm okay, I can still-"

"Go!" he ordered.

"I'm fine," you argued.

"Fine?" Kirishima whispered harshly. When you turned his eyes were dark and he looked like he might burst into tears. "Fine?" he asked, voice rising. "Fine? (Y/F/N), you just threw up like, fourteen full-sized fucking sunflowers! Not to mention the number of petals too! That's not fucking fine! That's having stage three fucking Hanahaki!"

Everyone in Gym Gamma stopped at that and swiveled their heads to look at you.

You blinked as Kirishima continued his little tangent. He was swearing almost as much as Bakugou, which had you worried.

"You should have told us," Kaminari murmured, voice tight with restraint. "Why didn't you tell us?"

He was crying, you realized when you turned your head to look at him. There were tears streaming down his face, and he looked devastated.

Bakugou was eerily silent, and when you turned your attention to him, you winced.

"It's not your fault," you told him.

You hated that pinched look on his face, warring between guilt, worry, and something you hadn't quite figured out yet.

Kaminari wrapped an arm around your waist, lifting your arm over his shoulder so that he could support you.

"Bakugou, listen to me," you ordered, clearing your throat a few times. "Katsuki," you demanded when he just looked at you with those glassy eyes and pinched face. "This is not your fault."

He nodded, dazed, clearly not comprehending what you were telling him.

"Problem children two through four are free to go. Get her to Recovery Girl," Aizawa ordered. "And don't bother coming back to class today."

Kirishima took you from Kaminari, carrying you bridal style, and you leaned into him gratefully, letting your body relax, sucking in as much air as you could.

"Why didn't you tell us? We could've-"

"Could've what, Denki?" you asked quietly, letting exhaustion take over. "What could you have done? My body has decided that it's going to grow flowers to try and get my love interests to notice me that way. It's growing flowers for emotionally unavailable people and there's nothing I can do except get the surgery."

"You still could have told us!" Kaminari cried, sniffling and furiously wiping his eyes. "We could've taken you to your appointments and tried to talk some sense into whoever it was and-"

He broke off into sobs and you reached out to lay a hand on his head.

"Come on Kami, if anyone should be crying right now, it's me," you said, having to take more breaths to get through the sentence.

"We should have- no- I should have noticed," Kirishima said softly.

"I didn't want you guys to notice because I knew you would worry about me. I didn't want you guys to have to worry about me. Besides, I had my decision made by the time I coughed up the first full flower. I'm going to be selfish and get the flowers removed so that I can keep saving people."

"It's our job to worry about you, (Y/F/N)," Kaminari sobbed. "We're your friends, we love you, we want to know about this kind of thing even if it's not killing you from the inside out."

"Sparky's right," Bakugou grunted.

Your head lolled to look at him, and he looked some kind of devastated.

"Never thought I'd hear you say that," you said breathlessly, giving a small chuckle.

"You should've told us."

"Next time I'll let you know," you told them, closing your eyes as you leaned your head on Kirishima's shoulder.

As soon as Kaminari opened the door to Recovery Girl's office another fit started.

"Get her on the bed and give her a bucket," she ordered. "Unfortunately, I can't do anything for this. And in her current state, a kiss isn't going to do much. I'm sorry dear."

"It's alright," you choked out, coughing more flowers into the bucket Bakugou handed you.

Kirishima patted your back softly while Kaminari held your hair back.

"Who is it?" Bakugou demanded.

"Babe, now is not the time-"

"Who is it?" he asked again, much slower and softer.

"There's no point," you told him when the overflow of flowers stopped.

The boys helped you get comfortable and you closed your eyes, wishing the bed would eat you.

"They don't need me, they don't want me."

"Have you even tried confessing?" Bakugou snapped.

You realized with a small start that he was desperate and snapping because of it. He was mad because he felt helpless and he didn't know how to handle it.

"There's no point. Three different colored flowers."

"Three different people," Kaminari realized.

"It doesn't matter if two of them love me, if the third doesn't that means that their flowers will still grow. It might give me some time, but the end result is still the same."

It was quiet for a few minutes and you relaxed into the bed, trying your best to breathe through the flowers.

"(Y/L/N)," Bakugou eventually remarked.

"What's up Blasty?" you asked.

"I'm going to ask you a question," he announced, and you cracked an eye open to glance at him, only to find realization breaking over his face. "And you know I'll know if you're lying when you answer."

"Give it your best shot Blasty," you told him, closing your eyes again.

"It's us, isn't it?" he demanded.

"Ding ding ding," you sang exhaustedly, "we have a winner."

"Wait, what?" Kaminari asked.

"The flowers that I'm growing inside my lungs, they're for the three of you. Like I said earlier, emotionally unavailable."

It was quiet again before Kirishima whispered, "So . . . we did this to you? We did this?"

"No," you snapped, sitting up to glare at him. "This is not your faults. None of this is because of anything any of you did. Hanahaki is a result of a gene mutation."

"Can you . . . explain more in depth, please?" Kaminari asked.

"A long time ago, there was this clan of people who could control plants with their emotions. It wasn't a quirk, since they didn't exist back then, but it was more of a connection with the earth or something. Anyway, rage, anger, love, hate, it all fueled their powers over nature."

"Great, plant manipulation," Bakugou grumbled.

"Then they started marrying outside the clan and all that jazz. It's a recessive gene, but it was a big clan. Anyway, a lot of people have the gene, but they don't have the right circumstances to make anything happen because of it. Because it's a recessive gene, both parents need to have it before it becomes much of a threat. Only a few unlucky bastards will ever even have a chance of getting Hanahaki. There are other less deadly variants though, but Hanahaki itself is rather rare.

"Because of the gene, when my feelings got as intense as they did, it started growing the flowers for you. The way Recovery Girl explained it, my body grew them to try and convince you guys of my feelings or something. It's hard to explain when I don't completely understand what this is either. But in short, the flowers are for you and they'll only go away when you all love me romantically or I get the surgery and forget about you."

"So you're one of the unlucky fuckers that has both recessive genes?" Bakugou asked.

"You win again Blasty. Normally, when it's only one person, it doesn't progress as fast as mine did. They can be easily avoided and it can take years for it to get this far."

"But there are three of us," Kaminari jumped in. "And we all have to live together and train. You couldn't really avoid us, meaning it got worse faster than normal."

You nodded, swallowing harshly.

"I'm sorry," you whispered. "I didn't expect it to get this far, and I certainly didn't want you finding out about it until after the surgery."

"But, now we can help!" Kirishima cried.

"No, Kiri, you can't," you told him. "I'm sure you've heard, but Hanahaki is only cured when the feelings are returned. Even if you wanted to help me like that, it wouldn't work. Besides, I would never ask that of you, of any of you."

"But-But that means that you have to get the surgery and forget about us."

You opened your eyes and cupped his cheek softly.

"You'll make friends with me again," you assured him. "Even if it seems like I don't want you to. Even if my attitude towards you guys changes, I'm sure you'll somehow find a way to draw me back in."

"There has to be something we can do," Kirishima whimpered, eyes welling with tears. "We love you, we can't lose you like this."

"It's okay," you murmured.

"It's not!" Kirishima cried, sobbing.

"Hang on," Kaminari said, getting that considering look on his face. "What if we said we wanted the flowers?"

"Huh? You lost me," you admitted.

"You said that your body was growing these flowers for us, right?" Kaminari asked, then continued when you nodded. "Well, I want mine. I want to take all the flowers that you're growing for me."

You were about to tell him that that wasn't how it worked, but the flowers in your chest decided that now was the perfect time to eject themselves from your body.

You coughed and choked as a torrent of orange petals erupted from your lungs.

Just as one wave ended, another began.

Tears stung your eyes and your throat felt like it was being ripped apart from the inside out, and your chest was constricting so much you thought you might pass out.

Suddenly, something much bigger was being pushed out of your lungs and up your windpipe.

Bakugou was shouting for Recovery Girl and the other two were panicking and trying to assist.

There must've been a stem this time, you thought deliriously.

You couldn't get enough air in.

Just as your vision started to go fuzzy around the edges, someone was easing the flower out of your throat.

You hacked and coughed and sobbed as leaves and roots tore up your throat, but then there was air in your lungs and you could breath better than before.

You choked on the amount of air flowing into your lungs again and slumped over the side of the bed, panting.

You spit blood into the bucket by your bed.

"Um . . . this definitely isn't natural," Kirishima whimpered after everyone realized that you weren't dead and that you were no longer in danger of choking on another plant.

You managed to crack your eyes open enough to see that Kirishima was holding a sunflower plant almost as tall as he was.

The base was stocky and thick, with a wide system of roots.

It branched off into at least six different stems, each with an orange sunflower at the top.

You forced yourself to swallow and managed to croak out, "Kami said," before your voice gave out.

"That's right!" Kirishima cried. "Kami told her that he wanted all of the flowers that she was growing for him."

"I didn't think it would actually work though!" Kaminari cried.

Bakugou settled you back against the pillows of the bed, brushing hair away from your face as the world stopped spinning around you.

"Can we try it too?" Kirishima asked.

You knew that the question should've been directed at Recovery Girl, but he was looking at you.

You mimed writing something and Recovery Girl handed you a paper and a pen.

Maybe later, you wrote, I think if we tried it now I would die. I was barely able to stay conscious this time. More back to back and there might be permanent damage to my throat and/or lungs.

Kirishima nodded, but there was something shining in his eyes that made you wonder what he was thinking.

Think a kiss would help now? you scribbled out, showing it to Recovery Girl.

She gave you one, and you relaxed into the pillows, letting the boys ask her questions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

YOU FELT BETTER WHEN you woke up, though not by much.

Bakugou was asleep by the side of your bed, arms crossed under his head. His arms were pillowed by your thighs and you wondered how long he had been there.

You shifted a little, reaching a hand out to run your fingers through his hair.

"Hey Princess," Bakugou murmured, shifting to look at you, grinning softly.

"What time is it?" you croaked, wincing at the sound of your own voice.

"Little after five in the morning," he admitted, sitting up. "That one kiss took a lot out of you. Eiji and Denks went to bed at about one. I couldn't sleep so I thought I would stay down here in case anything happened."

"You mean you had a nightmare and instead of waking them up you came down here to feel useful in some way."

He didn't say anything but the blush on his cheeks gave him away.

"You didn't have to stay you know," you told him. "Just because of the whole Hanahaki thing-"

"It's not because of the fucking feeling flowers," he grunted. "I would've done this whether it was my fucking fault or not."

"I already told you guys," you snapped, "this is not your fault. You couldn't've stopped this."

"We should've told you sooner," he whispered.

"Should've told me what sooner?" you asked. "If you guys aren't comfortable being around because I'm in love with you, then you don't have to stick around."

"No, it's not that," Bakugou told you.

"What Katsuki is tryin' to say," Kaminari slurred, stumbling in, looking more exhausted than you, "is that we love you too. And we had been talking about asking you to join us."

"We were talking about approaching you about being our girlfriend, but then you suddenly started not wanting to go places with us and we were worried that we were making you uncomfortable," Kirishima added, rushing to make sure that Kaminari didn't crash into your bed.

Kaminari forwent the chair at the side of your bed and instead climbed onto the bed next to you.

Kirishima rolled his eyes fondly, sitting next to Bakugou.

"Yeah, what they said," Bakugou grumbled.

"You guys don't have to force yourselves to try and care about me like that," you said, frowning. "It doesn't do anybody any good and hurts everybody involved."

"How can we show you that we care about you like that?" Kirishima asked. "Please (Y/F/N)."

"Do I really seem like the kind of guy to lie about his feelings like this?" Bakugou interrupted. "And do you really think I would let these morons do something like this?"

"Kind of," you admitted. "You all care about people enough to try and do that. Besides, I thought you were all gay."

"Demi," Bakugou grunted.

"Pan!" Kirishima chirped.

"Bi, obviously," Kaminari murmured from where he was burrowing into your side.

You blinked, processing this new information.

You were about to respond but Recovery Girl waddled in.

"How are you feeling, hun?" she asked.

"About as good as can be expected I suppose," you said.

"I contacted the doctor that you originally spoke to and he said that the only way the flowers would've come out of your lungs would be because the person you were in love with said that they wanted them and because they were in love with you when they said it.

"That being said, these other two want to give it a try. We would need a small space between flowers of course, since they did a lot of damage to you on the way out, because of how far along you are, but it should work, if you're up for trusting them."

You glanced between the boys and sighed.

"Alright, let's give this a shot," you agreed. "I still have the surgery scheduled, so if it doesn't work I can still go in."

"It'll work. And when it does, will you believe us?" Kirishima asked.

"It'd be hard not to," you told him, "the facts are right there."

"Good. We can start whenever you're ready," Recovery Girl told you.

"Let's start now, I want this over with as soon as possible," you said.

"Understood," she agreed, grabbing three pairs of medical gloves, handing them to the boys. "You boys might need these."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roughly nine hours later and you were panting as Kaminari gently lowered you onto the pillows of your bed.

"How are you feeling?" Recovery Girl asked.

Like I just threw up my intestines, but they were covered in thorns, you scribbled out. But I can breathe if that's what you meant.

"A few kisses and you'll be well on your way," she said, not seeming to mind your snark.

Bakugou snorted and Kaminari looked like he was trying not to laugh.

"Do you want us to stay?" Kirishima asked.

You can if you want to, but I'm not going to force you to stay if you don't want to.

"Do you want us to stay?" Bakugou asked, exasperated.

You hesitated for nearly a minute before you glanced down at your lap, nodding.

But you can go back to class if you want to. I know you guys have been here for forever and that you have classes to catch up with, you scribbled out quickly.

"We ain't goin' anyway Princess," Bakugou said, flopping down into one of the chairs next to the bed.

"Besides, Aizawa gave us a pass this morning," Kaminari added.

"You want us to stay and we'll stay," Kirishima told you.

You were in the middle of writing something but Bakugou snatched the pad out of your hands.

"Just accept that you're stuck with us darlin'," Kirishima said, tossing it over his shoulder.

Kaminari hummed his agreement, crossing his arms over your legs so that he could lay his head on them.

"When this is all over, and you're good to go again, we're taking you out, for real this time," Bakugou told you, mimicking his blond boyfriend and the position you had found him in early this morning.

Kirishima followed suit and you ruffled their hair before you nodded to Recovery Girl, who have you two kisses.

You were out like a light.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Darlin'," Eiji called over the din of the party that was going on around you. "Your mom wants to see our party trick!"

You laughed, handing the cookie platter to your little cousin, who giggled, trying to look inconspicuous.

You weaved through the people mulling around and found all three of your boyfriends talking with your family.

"Are we going to have to do this at your parents' house too, Katsuki?" you inquired, hands on your hips.

"Probably, the hag loves this stuff," he muttered, but his tone was fond.

"What are we doing at Katsuki's?" Denki asked, moving to drape himself over your back.

"Our party trick," you said and he laughed.

"I don't see a problem with it," Denki chuckled. "I think it's pretty hot."

"It is, but that doesn't mean that he should have to do it every time we go somewhere," you argued.

"I don't mind darlin', really, I think it's kind of fun," Eiji said, grinning.

"I find it humiliating," Katsuki grumbled.

"That's because you can't lift Eiji yet," you teased.

Katsuki's palms crackled but his eyes were soft when he looked at you.

"Are we doing this or what?" Denki asked.

Denki, Katsuki, and you all walked over to Eiji.

Katsuki was on Eiji's left while you and Denki were on the right.

Eiji then scooped all three of you up in his arms and your family cheered.

You giggled, wrapping your arm around Eiji's neck to stabilize yourself.

When he set you all down your little cousins, and even some of the older ones, were begging him to see how many he could lift at the same time.

"Why don't we try it next time?" you suggested, getting pouts and cries of injustice. "Think of it this way, the next time we see you all, he'll be even stronger and he'll be able to lift more of you than he can now!"

That soothed them for the moment, but some of the older ones glared at you, seeing through your compromise.

"You just want to keep him all to yourself!" one of them said as the others dispersed.

"But he's my boyfriend," you argued, "so I know him better than you do."

"But you have two others!" your little cousin retorted. "It's not fair."

Denki was crying from laughing so hard in the background, leaning on a chuckling Katsuki.

"They're definitely related to you, darlin'," Eiji teased, wrapping an arm around your waist and kissing you softly.

Your little cousin whined in disgust and disappeared into the fray and you sighed in relief.

"You must remember what that was like when you were little, (Y/F/N)," your mother teased. "You were the same way."

"I was not!" you cried, cheeks heating up. "I only argued because people kept telling me 'that's just the way it is' and I wanted a real reason why."

"Aw, imagine how cute little Lightning Bug was," Denki cried and you glared at him.

Soon all three boyfriends were on you about it and you groaned.

"You're all so mean!" you whined.

"But you love us for it," Bakugou argued.

"I hate it when you're right," you muttered, sending them laughing.

It had taken a lot to get to this point, but it was worth it, you decided. They would always be worth it.

#bakukirikami #kamikiribaku #kiribakukami #bakukamikiri #kirikamibaku #bakugou x reader #kirishima x reader #kaminari x reader #katsuki x reader #eijirou x reader #denki x reader #bakukirikami x reader #poly #hanahaki au #hanahaki disease

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burnedbyshoto · 4 years

Text

seven

Rich and powerful men can marry seven different women in a wild attempt to produce the perfect heir. Todoroki Enji is one of these powerful men, and you’re his seventh bride.

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pairing: todoroki enji (endeavor) x fem!reader

warnings: edo period!endeavor (king henry viii inspo), forced marriage, alcohol consumption, 18+, smut, non-con, dub-con, size difference, breeding kink, rough-sex, pain, degradation, & mind break

word count: 5,750

a/n: fuck that family who started the fire in socal. my campus is literally raining ashes up in oregon. im so tired. two exams monday. im going to be going on meds for anxiety and adhd soon, so thats new. uh,,, this is like LOL its a bit bad,,, but I really, really lust over asshole enji who only wants to breed bitches and thats it. this is for the bnharem fantasy au collab, i wan’t that creative sorry see ya later skaters.

PLEASE CAREFULLY READ THE WARNINGS. PLEASE CAREFULLY READ THE WARNINGS. PLEASE CAREFULLY READ THE WARNINGS.

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One.

Fate: Spared.

Two.

Fate: Executed.

Three.

Fate: Died during childbirth.

Four.

Fate: Spared.

Five.

Fate: Executed.

Six.

Fate: Executed.

Seven.

Fate: Unknown.

Silks and expensive cloth held a scent that was irreplicable.

The smooth smell of the layers upon layers of fabric wrapped around your body did nothing to quench the building layer of ice in your stomach.

You were scared.

Rightfully so.

Six women came before you, and if you wanted to live, you would have to do better than them.

Marrying the Todoroki Clan head was something that most women could only dream of accomplishing in this day and age. The Todoroki’s, after all, are strong, rich, powerful, undefeated. They held the real power in this age, more influential and notable than the emperor that repeatedly begged the family for support, be it in power, strength, or money.

But, it was also known knowledge that the man who sat at the head of the clan, who held the power of the Todoroki name and future, was a man not to be trifled with.

Todoroki Enji was an endeavor of a man.

There had always been whispers about the head of the family, how he stood eight feet tall, and how his body was not lean like most warriors, but thick and savagely sturdy. His hair was red, blessed by the sun some claimed, or cursed by the devil others alleged. His temper and barbaric nature on the battlefield were, of course, rumored by the people on your lands, who had been indebted by the Todoroki Clan because of their protection and profits.

Todoroki Enji was not a man to be trifled with.

Especially not if the rumors were true.

He was painted as a demon by everyone. Still, Enji was no demon, he was human, and if he was to allow the Todoroki Clan's legacy to continue, he needed an heir… but since he was human, he was aging.

Six women.

You knew that it was six women because you had been alive to experience five of them.

You remember the newly married couple being paraded through the streets.

Todoroki Enji remained hidden within his vehicle's confines while his new wife, doe-eyed, smiling, effervescent, would greet the gathered crowds. You often wondered what they thought when you would conjure in respect for the man who ensured your childhood and adolescence were not corrupted by thieves and horror.

You wondered what she thought when promising the village elders that she would produce a strong, male heir. You raised an eyebrow at the thought that maybe, just maybe they believed that they would be different -- be able to birth a strong, capable male heir.

Six wives.

Twenty children.

Two weak, sickly boys.

A whole clan of girls.

Were they idiotic, blind, or batshit insane to ever believe that they would be different?

You undoubtedly didn’t know.

Three of the six had been executed.

Three of six had been proud to state they would produce a strong male Todoroki heir, noting that his two sons -- Touya and Natsuo -- would be removed from the family as soon as their strong son was born.

One of those three birthed a weak, sickly baby boy. She passed in childbirth and took him with her one day after.

Another of those three birthed four girls, two sets of twins because, of course, they were given two chances. She was executed on treason.

The final of those three had simply pissed him off; rumor had it. Her pussy was too tight, unwilling to sheath the thick massive cock that belonged to him… no point in breaking something that wouldn’t bend when there was more pussy out there (you remember she had been ugly too).

But what you didn’t expect was for his clan members to come through your village's streets with an announcement in hand.

Of the six women before you, three had held significant political power -- the three that survived.

Of the remaining three, there was a poet, the other a woman soldier of his, and the last being a clan member.

You had never known what the decision process was, not even a little bit, so when men dressed in dark robes with the Todoroki sigil and katana’s strapped to their sides infiltrated your village, you were on edge.

“All women who are fertile and beautiful, line up, and no, we don’t care if you’re married,” was the short, almost taunting order, and you had never felt sicker.

You were among the seventy females in your village that matched the requirement they demanded.

Your sight was almost glued to the floor as they walked through you all, your fists grabbing your light blue kimono as the men groped the women in line, teasing the breasts of the pregnant women, rutting their poorly concealed cocks through the valley of asses, shoving between some girls thighs with loopy, proud smiles on their faces, beating any man who attempted to protect any one of their honors.

But you were towards the end of the line, standing where they decided to save for last, and you were helpless to it all. You watched knowing that of the sixty-something women ahead of you, none of them remained.

The whimpers, cries, and whines grew louder by your ear, your spine rigid and sore with its tightness as the girl beside you dropped to the floor in her fear. You couldn’t bother looking at her as the parting of their robes seemed to be akin to gunpowder going off in your ears. The horrified squeal on her tongue being silenced when a cock slammed through her lips, the tears pouring down her face useless, if anything, only encouraging their roughhousing.

Your lip curled at the sound of her pathetic whining, the incessant need of her to tell them that she was not okay with this was nails on an iron plate. It annoyed you, it pissed you off.

“Look at this one,” the snickering laughter of a man breathed by your ear, instantly stilling and freezing the anger that was once radiating like fire from your chest. “She doesn’t look ashamed… she looks like she’s jealous. Maybe these common bitches do have someone good enough for Boss.”

Spluttering gasps and hiccuping cries came from the ground, and you couldn’t even bother glancing at the woman you had known all your life laying on the floor, kimono ripped open, and white, sticky cum dripping from her mouth.

“Well, there’s nothing like taking her out for a test run,” came a sleazy smile, and when two hands gripped at your clothed breasts, you didn’t so much as raise a brow at their perverted actions.

You had won in the end against them. Each perverted, twisted intention they placed against you, dirt crusted fingernails digging into your arms, purpling, throbbing cocks pressed into your backside… it hadn’t mattered.

You didn’t budge.

You didn’t cry.

You didn’t make a noise.

A simple smirk remaining on their faces at your inevitable victory against the other women in your village -- against the crying, cum stuffed women who stared at your victorious and stubborn form without a clue on how you managed.

And where did that land you?

In a room with only one window too high up for an average person to reach, white silks and fabrics adorning your body, and ceremonial ornaments in your hair.

Six women came before you, but today, you would become the seventh.

With you, there would be seven women to have wed Todoroki Enji, but you weren’t scared because you feared the fate of the six before you. No, you were much better than them; you already knew that for a fact.

The anxiety that coursed through your veins created that ice pit in your stomach came from one place and one place only.

Your cunt already sobbed at the thought of even attempting at taking his thick, veiny cock you knew was the size of your thigh later tonight.

A virgin like you had no chance of survival.

The doors to your room soon slammed open, and your back stiffened at the sight of a familiar face of an escort you had. His eyes didn’t meet yours; they were focused at the wall, his face tense and tight.

“It’s best we leave now, y/l/n, Todoroki-sama doesn’t like waiting.”

The weight of the white silk on your body felt like a brick when you stood up from your position, and you wondered if the sweat from your pits and palms would damage the kimono -- if it was noticeable. But you had a duty, and as number seven, you had no motive to be executed before even getting the chance to prove yourself.

You knew how wishes worked; the secret was in being silent about your desire… never reveal what your wish was, or the world wouldn’t grant it.

Or at least, that’s what you told yourself every time you heard the all too familiar words of: “I’ll produce a fine Todoroki heir,” through the lips of the dead and the divorced. They had spoken it to the universe, acknowledged what they needed, and the cruel world failed them each and every time.

You were so wrapped up in your thoughts, so consumed by the idea of what would happen tonight, you hardly realized that with the heaving puffing breathes you took to keep up with the man’s ridiculous strides, that you had made it to the shrine that you had been brought to wed.

But you couldn’t even take in the beauty of the shrine to your left because you were more interested in who was standing in the pathway towards the shrine.

Todoroki Enji.

He stood on the stone-paved path, his bulky, beefy arms folded across his chest, the fabric of his kimono taut and tight against his flexed muscle, and a sour frown on his face. It was as the rumors had spoken, you realized when you stopped mere strides away from your future husband, he was a man that looked both godly and cursed.

Bright red hair glistened like copper pans under the sunlight, waving and flickering like a raging fire with every small burst of wind. He stood at almost eight feet high, maybe eight feet, you had no idea. All you knew is that as your feet stumbled when getting near to this man, you were dwarfed, feeling like a child next to their father as you gazed up at his unmoving, scarred face. His eyes didn’t look down at you, but even you could see the clear, sharp blue in them, and for the first time, you questioned reality.

Was this man truly human? Was he genuinely Japanese?

Seeing him before you made your knees buckle in fear, arousal, and anticipation.

You wanted to see what had made the sixth scream to stop.

You wanted to see just what he was hiding behind the ridiculously tight fitted kimono, but your thoughts were yanked away when his hand -- no doubt bigger than your head -- pressed to space between your shoulder blades and pushed you.

“We’re on a tight schedule,” he merely growled, his eyes burning at something a million miles away, and with a small, pitiful whimper, you allowed him to lead the way.

The wedding ceremony was… odd, to say the least.

While you had never been married, you had attended a few weddings within your lifetime already, and never once had it felt so disturbing dead and raw as it had today. This Shinto ceremony, typically doused with symbolism and motifs for the greatest possible outcome for the union between you and Todoroki Enji, was stripped from the shrine walls, leaving the walls barren and cold as both he and the priest proceeded through the ceremony at breakneck speed.

It wasn’t something Enji wanted; you realized that clearly the moment he refused to meet your gaze; his blue eyes remaining on the priest.

Everything the both of you performed together was done haphazardly, the lack of symbols you had always wished to see in your wedding ceremony forgotten, undoubtedly seen as a farce by a man like Todoroki Enji, but still, your heart ached.

You hadn’t noticed when the ceremony had ended; Enji never once allowing you to move, or do anything for that matter, by yourself. There was no use in fighting against a man who’s entire hand fit around your forearm, his thumb even resting against his fingernail -- oh yes, this man was huge.

There was no telling when he paraded you through the streets of his territory, allowing you to numbly speak to the village elders, to allow your parents to press their sweaty palms to your cheeks because god, please, please survive this, their touch practically sobbed. You smiled at them, eyes numb with the reality of what this was going to be for you, but the cheerful tone on your tongue remained optimistic and bright with every passing word.

The scornful thoughts of the sixth woman being too weak to handle Enji had dissipated, and you wondered just what the other five did to survive what you knew was a massive fucking cock hidden beneath the shrowds of his black kimono.

You would survive, you would survive, you would survive.

But far before you were ready to, you arrived back at the Todoroki front, the wooden estate standing sturdy and strong, the air of power and aura almost tangible. The samurai and clansmen who had undoubtedly awaited for you and your now-husband (that was still odd to think about) to return. Pairs of warm, weathered hands helped you from the carriage, and without so much of a whisper of thanks, they escorted you away, heads bowed at the mercy of their leader.

Once more, you were abandoned in your room.

The window no longer allowed the streaming setting sunlight in, your room was in the eastern part of the estate, and with the nighttime coming, the setting sun was merely a memory to you.

And in that room, the tiny, unspacious room that seemed much more for a prisoner than the seventh wife of Todoroki Enji, you tried not to cry.

The door slamming open hours after you had fallen asleep had taken you by surprise.

Enji had left you to your own entertainment, and long after you were served dinner, and informed that no, Todoroki-sama would not be visiting you right now because he was busy, you had sat on the bed in your silks and robes, numbly looking at the star-filled sky. Sleep was the only thing you could do, and with the last servant visit being past midnight, you took to sleep.

Except that you forgot a sparing, important detail.

This was Todoroki Enji’s world, and you were merely his legal fuckhole.

The heavy footsteps of Enji entering the room echoed in your ear, and the door closed behind him, solidifying the end of the beginning of what you once knew.

“Seven,” he growled into the night, and your spine snapped straight.

He loomed above you, the tatami mat suddenly feeling like a brick wall against your side, and you swallowed pathetically at the way his deep, raspy voice sent shivers down your spine.

This had been the first time you had heard him speak, all other forms of communication between him and the priest and he and his clan members had been nonverbal, solely told through those piercing blue eyes that only let you dream of what he sounded like -- of what he was demanding. But you lay confused, your eyebrows scrunched at just why he had called out the number seven?

Seven what?

You twisted where you lay, your eyes meeting his own, and despite the lack of light in the room, you could see the cold, distant glint in his eyes.

“Oh good,” he mocked, his voice low and dangerous, eyes squinted in his apparent lack of approval. “You can hear.”

“S-Seven what?” you stammer, your elbow pressing into the mat, pushing you up so that you could look at your husband, uncertainty and discomfort scorching every nerve in your body.

You didn’t know what to do.

Then, it hit you. The bitter, numbing smell of alcohol coated in a fine layer around his skin, the small puffs of angry air from his mouth letting you know that your husband was inebriated, and your throat clenched when he began to dismantle his kimono.

“T-This isn’t a good idea!” you stammer, the white silk robes you were still dressed in because they refused to allow you a set of sleeping clothes because the marriage needed to be consummated, felt stiff and not protective enough. “You won’t produce a proper heir if you’re intoxicated.”

Enji raised an eyebrow at you, and your thudding heart failed to cease as his robes hit the floor with an unceremonious thud.

Whiskey dick wasn’t something foreign to you; the countless men you had sucked off in your time, the numerous sex stories you had been shared with always had some instance of a man getting drunk and being able to get their cock hard, but this…?

If this was Enji’s whiskey dick, you weren’t sure what to expect of his sober cock.

His cock was already hard, the veins in his cock large, plentiful, and bulging in many areas. It was thick, without a doubt thick enough where it would take both your hands to circle around his cock, and it was long, the swollen weeping tip leaking against his abdomen. His cock was magnificent yet deadly, and your pussy spasmed in fear of having that monster all twelve plus inches shoved into your virgin cunt.

“The fuck are you doing, seven?” Enji snarled, his powerful naked legs moving toward you, his feet pressing into the mat, and his hand reaching out to you. “I didn’t marry you for you to just stare at my fucking cock like some piss-shit baby.”

There was no time to panic, protest, or even prepare yourself for the sudden sharp, dull ache in your jaw when he pressed his monster cock past your chapped, chewed lips.

Immediately, it was overwhelming.

The engorging cock had barely passed your lips, but you were already gagging against the unwelcomed size, the horrid ache sending spilling tears down your cheeks, doing nothing but annoying the man before you. His hands gripped your hair, his eyes not even bothering to look at you as he fucked your mouth.

“Stop fucking resisting,” Enji snarled, his hips coming to meet your mouth in a vicious, unpleasant snap, the head of his cock pressing down your clenched throat, and so much of his cock still remaining far from your mouth. “Take my cock like the fucking whore I know you are, seven.”

You gasp for air, but with his cock ramming further and further down your throat, the scalding heat emitting from his skin burning your throat, making you gag and choke around him in your fear. You couldn’t breathe, you realized in a panic, and your eyes widened in fear, drool and spit spilling down your chin pathetically as Enji hums contently.

“Don’t feel so scared, seven,” Enji cruelly smirked up at the ceiling, his hips lazily, sloppily, yet powerfully delivering his cock into your bulging throat. “I heard what you did to my men, how you let them fuck you however they saw fit, how you scoffed and scowled at the other pathetic weak bitches who couldn’t handle a little groping… I thought you would like this? What is it? Never had a real fucking cock before? A little whore like yourself only gotten shitty little cocks?”

Wordlessly, you begged to be shown mercy, your vision blackening as he choked out all forms of oxygen, his war weathered body unbothered by your clawing fingers on his thighs. No, you were too weak for it to hurt him.

His hands left your hair, and you collapsed back onto the bed, gasping for air, choking, and coughing for oxygen that only burned all through your system, sitting unpleasantly in your lungs while tears and saliva mixed on your throat.

“Where the fuck are do you think you’re going, seven?” Enji barked, his body suddenly looming over yours, and you felt trapped, unable to move as the mountain of a man trapped you between his sturdy arms and legs. His cock, warm and sticky with your spit and his precum, sat heavily on your stomach, the size difference between the two of you even more pronounced when the tip of his cock rested at the bottom of your ribcage. “All you did was lube up my cock for your stupid, tight pussy. Don’t think I was satisfied with that childish blowjob -- next time, if you want to cry, make sure it’s loud enough that I feel it against my cock.”

You pathetically moan at his words, the tears still falling from your eyes because your throat and jaw hurt. It hurt, it hurt, it hurt.

“Please,” you gasped as his cinder hot hands pressed to your breasts against your kimono, he quickly enveloped your tender flesh in his hands despite the fabric. “Please, no more.”

“I don’t remember this marriage being about you,” he mocked, and with no more of a glinting snarl of his mouth, he tore the kimono straight off your body. The horrified scream that left your lips was silenced by the echoing slap across your face.

Pain blistered at the side of your face, and the resulting tears couldn’t be felt against your numbed skin as Enji continued his conquest, his fingers pulling and ripping any and all fabric pressed against your body.

“Get away!” you weakly whimpered, body trembling and twisting as you attempted to escape the man looming above you, finally ridding you of all dresses, hands pressing to the back of your thighs to push you into a position that he liked. “Leave me alone, leave me alone…”

There was no fire in your words, nothing but the aching fear and undeniable terror.

But the words did nothing to Enji, who continued to move you so that your tight, virgin cunt lined up with his throbbing, red cockhead. Even like this, your face was pressed into his chest. His body unworldly larger than yours, incredibly goliath compared to you.

“You know, seven, if you keep trying to escape me and you keep trying to save yourself, then why are you so fucking wet with everything I’ve done?” he growls down at you, his piercing blue eyes staring straight through you, the tears falling down your face doing nothing but encouraging him because he was right… your cunt, just like his cock, was wet, dripping with the undeniable pleasure of this all. There was a fire, a shameful fire, in your pussy, throbbing in time with the stinging pulse in your face that begged for Enji’s cock despite it all. “You fucking tiny little slut… I can feel just how my actions -- how my words -- affect you, getting you off like a bitch in heat! Your efforts to hide it are pathetic, fucking useless.”

Pain.

If you thought you knew what pain was before right now, you had to be wrong.

Enji’s girth was overwhelming, nearly splitting your shuddering tight walls while he buried his cock entirely within you. Nausea builds in the back of your throat, a soundless shriek breaking past your bleeding lips, your hips bucking in their relentless attempt to adjust to the way that he was splitting your walls in two, and your face flushed in pain and lust press into his chest, the only part of him you could touch.

Fuck, fuck, “fuck!” you cried, fat and painful tears pushing past your eyes, dripping down the apples of your cheeks while Enji sighed at the feeling of your hot cunt against his cock, blood seeping out of your pussy in such a pretty way he couldn’t help but smile.

“You’ve got a really tight cunt,” he observes, his hips slamming against you without warning, his mind only caring about him, setting off another round of painful screams while he situates within you. “Mhm, this is nice. A tight, young pussy always means a good womb, you’ll give me the heir I need… I’ll make sure to fuck you full of my cum.”

His hips then begin to thrust upward into you, the tip of his cock unable to reach the beginnings of your walls that he seemed to attempt to get to with each powerful blow. But it was his girth that had your body tensed, back arched in pain, eyes clenched in nothing but pain.

Pain.

“Hey.” SLAP. Your head snapped to the side, a burning, stinging pain on your cheek, alerting you that your eyes were closed. Your piqued breathing spluttered and so spaced between it was as if you were having some sort of asthma attack. Enji looked down at you, blue eyes burning demonly down at you (you wondered if this was the same look those who survived to see him on the battlefield claimed he had), his lips curled into an unapproving snarl while his hands pushed at the bottom of your knees. You pressed further into the tatami, the angle of penetration only furthering with your desperate screams to be gentler. “Shut the hell up, you’re annoying me with all this fucking screaming. Don’t waste my time.”

You whimper loudly, the feeling of his forcibly moving hips not becoming any easier on you, no longer a wave of intensive horrifying pain, but still a throbbing pain than had your fingernails cutting into his skin. “You have to be gentler! Be gentler, please be gentler! You’re so much bigger than me!!! My pussy can’t… my pussy can’t handle this!”

The fabric of the kimono under your body seared with heat when Enji shoved you further onto the mat, your legs twitching almost pathetically around his waist while your sight nearly blackened with his next action. He slammed your knees into the mat, increasing the angle of his penetration by a tenfold, sending you into another round of howling pain and pleasure as his cock slammed into your cervix -- bruising and scalding your puffy, sensitive walls with every powerful thrust. With his drilling hips and snarling speed, your screams and shouts of pain and pleasure and fear were cut off by an enormous fist around your neck, and his voice echoed from above you.

“Didn’t your dad teach you fucking whore to be quiet, seven?” Enji hisses, his thick hand clenching around your neck. Oxygen refused to flow to your lung, you went light-headed and limp, choking noises emitting from you while he continued to slam his cock in you, your clenching and splitting walls unable to keep up with the speed of the esteemed nobleman of Japan. “You’re my breeding whore, do you understand? You have no value to me except to be breed, to be full of my cum, to carry my child. You are nothing more than an object. Do. You. understand?”

Your head throbbed, the blood forcibly kept in your head, and the lack of oxygen made your world spin.

“Y-Yes!” you choke on your tongue.

“Repeat it!”

“I’m your breeding whore! Fill me with your cum, I wanna… fuck, I w-wanna carry your children! I’m your object, I’m yours, I’m yours, I’m yours!”

“There we go,” Enji sighs contently, his broad chest pressing your thighs further into the bed, cutting off what limited oxygen you had left, and increasing the jabbing pleasure within you by a tenfold.

“Shit, such a filthy fucking cunt you have,” he groans, your walls spasming against him with his wild, obscene thrusts. He moves his hands further up your legs so that they press against your knees, your legs then wrap around his body, shaking as he makes no effort to slow in his advances, your finger drawing blood from where they raked down his back because he was burning an outline of your body into the mat. Your strangled scream goes unnoticed by Enji, a desperate plea for him to be softer.

But he wasn’t someone who cared.

You were only here to be bred, to give him a son, the strongest son the entire country of Japan -- nay, the world -- has ever seen.

Pathetically, your hips attempt to rise up to meet him, a prayer that it would ease this brutal force he was using. It was too much -- his cock easily overpowering your throbbing cunt.

The sounds of his cock slamming into your sopping pussy created loud wet noises that made you cry in embarrassment. Your face felt like it was seconds from popping out, Enji’s weight crushing you on top of the abhorrent position he was fucking you in, but he found it as an excuse to speed up. His rugged grunts are warnings in your ears as his cock finally hits your cervix with consistency that makes you wail. The stretch he gave you was boggling, and you were progressively less cognitive aware as he drilled in harder. His slams were so hard that the sound of his thighs hitting your ass let out a continuous and loud slap.

His fingers gouge into your skin, and you cry his name like a hopeful prayer as he is fueled by your appraisal, your breath hot and sticky between the valley of his chest. Your tongue pressing against his skin akin to some infant looking to suck their mothers tit.

The force in which Enji slammed his hips to meet yours. Above your ear, the growling pants that mocked you for enjoying this demeaned you for thinking you were anything more than his breeding whore sent a liquid fire that could never match the heat of a conflagration to your core. When your head smashed against the mat because you could no longer keep your head up.

“That’s fucking right,” he laughs, drool pouring past your lips with your mindless babble, your eyes fluttering closed. Pleasure drowned in pain sobs expelled from your lips, invigorating something powerful within the entire family who watches on with impatient stares at the sight of your squeezing cunt around Eniji’s cock. “Take my fucking cock, bitch, don’t fucking pass out yet, we’re far from over.”

Enji was raw power, destruction, and strength. He pistoled into your sobbing core with the intent of getting his sperm into your cunt, to get his sperm that would get him a son into you, other than that, he was uncaring, unmotivated by your pathetic whining and crying. Your thrashing and wailing do not stop Enji, nor do they lessen the pace and the force he’s settled in as the floor begins to creak with every powerful thrust.

“I needa — holy shit, r-right there! M-More, more, more, more--”

“What? Do you need to come already, seven?” Enji mocks you pushing up off you so his back is curved, and your body so small underneath him. “Do you really think I’ll let you cum before me?”

Your eyes can no longer stay open as the only noises leaving your mouth are whines and begs for more. You forcibly clench around him to stir a reaction from him, but all he does is snarl quietly as he continues his rutting force. The pounding is rhythmic. His balls bruising your ass where he hits you. The feeling of Enji’s cock entering and leaving you draws your eyes to the back of your head as you pathetically whimper his name, his thighs hitting your ass at bruising force, only adding to your pleasure.

Each powerful snap of his hips sending your back arching to the heavens, the balls of your feet digging bruisingly into his back. In and out he goes, your cunt nothing more than a cocksleeve for him, and your wanton screams and mewls taking him further and further.

Enji all but laughs into your ear, his hand moving from pressing onto the tatami mat and pushing into your opened mouth, pressing onto your tongue. “Suck my fingers like a good whore, show me that you’re not gonna disappoint me. Suck my fingers.” you sob in the thought, not because you’re fearful of disappointing the man, but because the feeling of his fingers in your mouth makes your cunt throb ludicrously, your tongue desperately wrapping around the appendages, pushing through the space of his fingers. “I’m going to fill you up so good, breeding whore. You’ll be leaking my cum for days. I’m going to make sure you carry the Todoroki gene, and I hope that it’s my son you carry.”

The words incite clenching heat in your core, your lips unable to form anything but a weak, pitiful moan because the thought of being filled to the max with Todoroki cum makes your mind spin. More, you want to milk them all dry. You want nothing more than that. With a ragged breath, a consecutive full thrust that sends his cock slamming against your cervix, Enji cums fully within you. His load is long and heavy, your belly feeling like it’s bulging when he finally emerges from your cunt. His once hard cock limping in his hands while you lay there defeated, his and your intermixed cum spilling from your pulsing cunt.

Your mouth opened, sobbing at his absence, a need for him to return despite your core's undeniable tremor and ache. He’s off your body as well, and oxygen floods your lungs in dizzying and shallow pants, your vision fuzzies out, and you stare almost brokenly at the window painted with the rising morning sun.

Your room was in the east wing, after all.

You didn’t even protest when he pressed a smooth wooden plug into your cunt to “ensure you were bred to succession.”

He would soon leave your room, stumbling out with a drunken hiccup, leaving you to lay on a once white kimono… a once white kimono drenched in cum, blood, sweat, and tears.

You wouldn’t know until two weeks later, but Todoroki Enji had succeeded in breeding you, and you would eventually lay in a birthing room with blood and sweat and tears soaking your skin as a silent baby boy was placed in your arms.

“And what will his name be?” the midwife asked, her eyes wide with joy for you and Enji.

“...Shouto.”

#endeavor x reader #todoroki enji x reader #endeavor smut #bnha #bnha x reader #mha

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