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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 4 years ago

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Psycho Analysis: Spider-Man Movie Villains

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Spider-Man, Spider-Man, he does whatever a spider can. And what do spiders seem really good at? Amassing huge quantities of hatred and animosity! True to the wily arachnids that inspired him, Spider-Man has quite the impressive gallery of foes, one that I might say rivals Batman as the greatest in comic book history with how colorful, crazy, and creative they are. Even villains derivative of one another, like Hobgoblin and Green Goblin or Carnage and Venom, manage to carve out unique niches that help make them fun and memorable.

And thankfully, these qualities usually translated pretty well to film! I’ve talked about how good Mysterio, Vulture, Kingpin, and Prowler are before, so now it’s time to cover the others all in one fell swoop! From the Raimi trilogy, we have Green Goblin, Doctor Octopus, Harry Osborn, Sandman, and Eddie Brock/Venom; from the Andrew Garfield duology, we have Lizard, Electro, Rhino, and Harry Osborn again; and leftover from Into the Spider-Verse we have Olivia Octavius, Tombstone, Scorpion, and that film’s brief take on Green Goblin! Oh, and why not throw in Riot from Venom while we’re at it, because he sucks way too much to get his own Psycho Analysis.

Motivation/Goals: A lot of villains are motivated by the classic motivation: revenge. All of the Green Goblins manage to have this as a main part of their actions, making them remarkably consistent and very easy to discuss. The Norman of the Raimi films wants to take out his anger at being frozen out of his own company, and his son wants revenge for his death, while the Harry of the Garfield films wants his vengeance because Spider-Man wouldn’t help cure him of his otherwise incurable disaease that would kill him (a fact made worse because Spider-Man is his actual best friend, Peter Parker, who is coldly condemning his pal to death). The only one who doesn’t really fit is the Spider-Verse take on Green Goblin, and that’s more because he has extremely limited screentime and spends all of it fighting Peter and being scary as hell.

Eddie Brock/Venom is a very interesting case as both halves of the character are motivated by different reasons. The symbiote half is, of course, motivated by the fact that Peter has tried to rid himself of it via using a church bell to kill it. Eddie, on the other hand, has the most absolutely hilarious motivation ever: He wants Peter Parker to die because Peter exposed him for submitting fraudulent pictures to J. Jonah Jameson. Eddie literally breached journalistic ethics but apparently Peter’s to blame for exposing his literal, actual crime! And he prays to God for Peter to die! This version of Eddie is cartoonishly hilarious.Finally, we have Max Dillon, AKA Electro, who is lashing out at a world that did nothing but belittle and demean him, giving him a far more sympathetic motive for revenge.

Kurt Connors is an interesting halfway point between the Doc Ocks and the villains above, because he is not really evil and his whole transformation came about for altruistic scientific reasons, as he tested his serum on himself because they were going to test it out on the public without consent. While the serum drives him mad, he initially only goes after those who were going to use his formula with people as guinea pigs.

Interestingly, the two Doc Ocks contrast each other. While both of them are doing evil deeds for scientific reasons, Otto Octavius is being forced by his tentacles and genuinely wishes to make the world a better place otherwise. Olivia, on the other hand, is a gleeful sadist who doesn’t care who she hurts as long as she can get some sort of scientific knowledge from it.

Sandman is interesting case because his motivations are entirely sympathetic and despite being the man who killed Uncle Ben, it was entirely accidental and he always regretted it. He only ever wanted to get money to save his daughter. It’s really hard not to sympathize with a guy who turned to desperate measures because the American health care system sucks even in a universe where a dude dressed in a bright red suit swings around New York.

Then there are all the rest. Aleksei Systevich, AKA Rhino, is just a criminal, and has barely any screentime to establish a motivation beyond that. This is especially hilarious because the ads really hyped this guy up, only for him to get maybe five minutes of screentime, with most of it at the very end of the movie before the credits (we don’t even get to see his final battle). Tombstone and Scorpion are basically just lackeys for Kingpin, with little established beyond that. Scorpion almost shows up entirely out of nowhere, just popping in for the fight at Aunt May’s house and then the final battle. And then there’s Riot, who just wants to start a symbiote apocalypse on Earth.

Performance: Willem Dafoe, Alfred Molina, and Thomas Haden Church as Green Goblin, Doctor Octopus, and Sandman in the Raimi trilogy are, in a word, iconic. Dafoe brings a gleeful, cackling hamminess to the Goblin that perfectly suits him and manages to steal every single with how delightfully, cartoonishly evil he is combined with some hilariously chummy moments with Spider-Man. Molina as Ock goes in the opposite direction of hamminess, where instead of making Octavius cartoonishly evil, he gives him this air of gravitas to the point where he somehow manages to make this villain with giant metal tentacles that are controlling his mind come off as sophisticated and serious as Hannibal Lecter. Church meanwhile just looks eerily perfect as Sandman, as if he were ripped straight from the comics and put onscreen, and then of course there’s how well he manages to sell the emotional moments of the character.

The Harrys are a rather mixed bag, sad to say. James Franco and Dennis DeHaan aren’t really bad actors, but they unfortunately have the problem of living in the shadow of the actor who played their dad (Franco) or being in a really awful movie with a terrible script (DeHaan). Franco at least makes up for this by being hilariously, cartoonishly evil to the extent of his dad in the third Raimi film, but DeHaan unfortunately falls rather flat. Topher Grace as Venom is a choice that seems baffling until you realize Raimi cast an actor like this on purpose because he hates Venom so much he didn’t want to give him any dignity.

Jamie Foxx as Electro seems odd at first, but I feel it’s actually a great casting choice, and despite how unbelievably stupid the script is, he’s actually able to do a fairly good job. If his character was in a better movie, he’d probably get a lot less flak (and he’ll be getting his chance soon enough, apparently). Overall, he’s the best part of the Garfield films. Rhys Ifans and Paul Giamatti as Lizard and Rhino are serviceable, but neither film they’re in really gives them much to work with. Giamatti at least gets to steal the show with his brief scenes by being an absolute ham, but Ifans is sadly a bit forgettable in his role (though not for lack of trying on his part).

Now onto the Spider-Verse ensemble! Considering how I gushed over her delightful performance as the Wicked Witch of Westview in WandaVision as well as the fact she is solely responsible for me resurrecting this series from its long hiatus, it should come as no shock at all that Kathryn Hahn as Olivia Octavius is just perfect. Controversial opinion, I know, might get some flak for this hot take. Jorma Taccone as Green Goblin, Joaquin Cosio as Scorpion, and Marvin Jones III as Tombstone all do well for what they’re given, but it’s clear most of the love among Kingpin’s henchmen was given to her (and Prowler, but he got his own review where I talked about how great he is).

Oh, right, Riot. I forgot about him. Riz Ahmed, who plays the human villain Carlton Drake I forgot to mention because he’s incredibly boring, is a really good (and sexy) actor. Unfortunately, he doesn’t get to be quite as good and sexy as an actor like him should be in his dual role. In an interesting subversion of how things usually go, he ends up being rather bland compared to the hammy, bonkers hero. This was Tom Hardy’s show, and no one was stealing it from him.

Final Fate: The Raimi films were all made during a time when, if your name wasn’t Magneto and you were a superhero movie villain, you were dying, a trend I’m certainly glad is finally starting to die off. Thankfully, Green Goblin manages to stick around and posthumously influence Harry, so in his case it’s not so bad. Harry and Doc Ock both manage to overcome the darkness in their hearts at the end and sacrifice their lives to help save the day, while Eddie dies after becoming such a simp for the symbiote he leaps into it while Peter is blowing it up. With Sandman, Peter actually has a touching reconciliation with Sandman at the end, forgiving him for the death of Uncle Ben before Sandman dissolves into dust and floats away on the breeze. And no, this is his power, not Thanos’ snap reaching across time, space, and dimensions; Sandman actually gets out of these films alive.

The other villains actually get off easier, as most of them go to jail. From the Amazing Spider-Man films, DeHaan’s Goblin and Rhys Ifan’s Lizard both end up in prison, and it’s safe to assume that the villains of Spider-Verse are going to jail alongside Kingpin. Octavius was hit by a bus, sure, but considering how popular she ended up being it would be really dumb to have that actually kill her. With Electro and Rhino though, it’s really ambiguous, the former because he’s made of electricity and the way he was defeated means it is possible he survived, and the latter because we never actually see the outcome of his battle with Spider-Man. If the film they were in was actually good and warranted sequels, we may have found out what their true fates were, but at the very least Electro is moving over to the MCU alongside Molina’s Doc Ock.

Oh, right, forgot Riot again. He dies.

Best Scene/Best Quote: I’m combining these this time just to make it easier on me, because in at least in a couple cases the two are the same.

Green Goblin has a lot to choose from, to the point where it’s easy to cop out and just say every scene he’s in is amazing. I’ve always been fond of his chummy chat with Spider-Man on the rooftop, or the scene where he terrifies Aunt May, or the scene where he attacks the parade and vaporizes the board of directors with pumpkin bombs.

Dock Ock is easy: the train battle. This might be one of the best action scenes in any superhero movie ever, and since he’s the villain in it, it almost goes without saying..There’s a reason this scene is singled out so often.

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Eddie Brock and DeHaan Goblin actually have their best scenes also be their best lines. Eddie praying for God to kill Peter Parker and DeHaan!Harry screaming “YOU’RE A FRAUD, SPIDER-MAN!” after Spidey refuses to give him a life-saving blood transfusion are just so absolutely hilarious and memorable that you can’t hate them.

Aside from the powerful forgiveness moment at the film’s end, I think it’s really indisputable that the best scene from Sandman, and perhaps the Raimi trilogy as a whole, is the scene of Sandman’s creation. Words really can’t do it justice, so just watch:

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Electro’s best moment isn’t even actually part of the movie, unless you want to count his rendition of “The Itsy-Bitsy Spider.” No, his is from a Tumblr post, proving definitively that Electro’s power can not be contained.

For Olivia, I’d say either of the reveals for her are great. You can go with the twist that she’s the Doc Ock of Miles’ universe, or the twist that she might have fucked Aunt May. Either way, you can’t really go wrong.

The rest of the villains… yeah, I’ve got nothing. At least with Rhino you can say his entire time on screen was fun, but the rest? Nope. They’re kind of just there.

Final Thoughts & Score:

Green Goblin

Where to begin with this guy? He is everything I look for in a great villain: he’s hammy and cartoonish, he can be terrifying and threatening when he wants to be, he has a ridiculous yet memorable costume, every word out of his mouth is hilarious and memorable, and he’s played by an amazing actor. It’s hard to dispute that Doc Ock is the best villain in Raimi’s trilogy, but Goblin is definitely the most fun. If you thought he’d get less than a 10/10, you thought wrong.

Doctor Octopus

Aside from Green Goblin, Doc Ock is Spidey’s most iconic and memorable foe, nd this adaptation of him does not disappoint. By making him a more tragic and somewhat anti-villainous figure and putting him in the hands of someone as awesome and talented as Alfred Molina, they managed to make such a cartoonish villain retain that comic book silliness while still being a legitimately imposing antagonist. I suppose it helps that a director who knows how to balance silly and serous like Raimi helps. It’s absolutely not a shock that the MCU wants to bring Molina back, because really, I can’t see anyone making the dubious doctor nearly as cool as the 10/10 performance Molina gave.

Harry Osborn

Franco’s Harry has an interesting arc, but one that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense under scrutiny. Frankly, his descent into villain is handled well but when he actually gets to be a villain in the third film, things fall apart.. But at any rate, he gets to be cartoonishly hilarious while he pettily ruins Peter’s life, so I think a 3/10 is warranted just for how goofy he is.

Eddie Brock/Venom

For the longest time, I hated Eddie Brock, but loved the Venom symbiote for its fantastic design… A design hampered by the fact Topher Grace keeps sticking his face through the symbiote and talking in his normal voice. But then one day I remembered Eddie literally prays to God for Peter Parker to die, and I realize that as crappy as this version of Venom is, he’s undoubtedly hilarious. A 3/10 mainly because of how hilariously bad he is, though the design of the symbiote is unironically great. Shame Grace kept sticking his face through and that Raimi hates the character.

Sandman

Sandman is a villain who deserved a better movie. Sure, Spider-Man 3 is fun and funny, but a character with this much depth and emotional weight deserved a film of the caliber of Spider-Man 2. At any rate, he adds a bit of class and dignity to the proceedings, and Thomas Haden Church really nails it. He’s a 9/10 for sure.

Lizard

Lizard is just a very boring villain, which is a shame because Lizard is not a boring villain in the comics and other media like the cartoons. I don’t really know if he was the best choice for Spider-Man’s first outing; I’ll at least give him that he’s a more inspired choice than doing the Green Goblin again, but that doesn’t score him higher than a 4/10. As boring as he ends up being, that library fight was pretty cool and had a great Stan Lee cameo, so I can’t say he’s the bottom of the barrel.

Electro

Electro is a villain who desperately deserved a better movie. While his backstory as a nerdy fanboy who got kicked around by the world is nothing new, or fresh, or original, Jamie Foxx manages to make the character work fairly well even though almost everything around him is unbelievably stupid. The fact he managed to make “Don’t you know? I’m Electro” sound cool and badass is a testament to his skill, and thankfully he’s coming back in the MCU in some way, so I guess Electro’s power can not be contained to a single movie. Still, this iteration only manages to get to a 6/10, because while all the elements of greatness are there, he’s hampered by the abysmal writing.

Rhino

Paul Giamatti certainly looks like he’s having a blast here. His attitude is almost infectious, but alas, his time is too brief to bring any great joy, and his jarring appearance out of nowhere at the end of the film certainly do him no favors. Still, Giamatti keeps Rhino from sinking any lower than a 5/10.

Harry Osborn

This Harry is just a joke. His arc makes no sense, his actions are unbelievable, and he ends up looking like a really poor Warwick Davis Leprechaun cosplayer. The only thing of note about him is that he’s a Harry who becomes the Green Goblin before his father, something that doesn’t happen very often, and that’s not enough to score this loser higher than a 2/10. Not even killing Gwen Stacy makes him any more impressive, and that’s a real shame.

Olivia Octavius

Olivia Octavius is widely beloved by just about everyone who sees the film.. myself included. This is just a really fun, clever twist on Doctor Octopus, and it’s the sort of character you really hope gets a Harley Quinn-level break into becoming an iconic character across multiple forms of media. Kathryn Hahn’s fun performance and the wonderful design and fight sequences really make Olivia a 9/10.

Tombstone

Tombstone is a villain you might actually forget is in the movie, which is a damn shame. He’s an albino black man, a badass bodyguard, and has a striking design, but he gets a single line of dialogue and is tasked with bodyguarding a man who not only has cyborgs under his employ, but who murdered Spider-Man with his bare hands. Tombstone ultimately feels really superfluous, which is a shame because around the same time Into the Spider-Verse came out he had a very memorable and well-liked appearance in the Spider-Man video game. It’s a real shame but I gotta give this version of Tombstone a 2/10.

Scorpion

Scorpion has a lot of problems of Tombstone above, but he makes up for a lot of his flaws by having a really cool and striking design. Does it really make him a great villain? No. He’s not particularly well-characterized and he’s really just there to look cool and give Olivia backup. He’s a 4/10 at best, saved from being lower only by his awesome look. Looking cool really can get you far in some cases.

Green Goblin

Out of all the really minor villains in Spider-Verse, this version of Norman might be the best. His role is tiny, only appearing during the scene where the Peter Parker of Miles’ universe gets killed, but his battle with Spider-Man is what sets the entire plot in motion. His cool and terrifying design definitely help make him stand out enough to earn at least a 6/10.

Riot & Carlton Drake

Look, there’s a reason I kept forgetting these guys. They’re not memorable in the slightest. Venom may be a fantastic work of art, but that’s because Tom Hardy kills it in his dual role as Eddie Brock and the Venom symbiote. Drake is just a boring corporate villain, the kind I hate talking about and the kind I’d only ever even bother mentioning in a review like this. And Riot is just a generic Big Gray CGI Monster for the hero to have a final battle with. Neither of these two are particularly interesting, and neither deserves more than a 2/10.

That’s it, right? There can’t be any more villains, I must have covered them all. Well, not quite. There’s one more character who is most certainly an antagonist and who I really, really want to talk about. And you’re absolutely not going to believe who it is.

You ready?

Psycho Analysis: Emo Peter

“Now wait,” you may be asking, “Emo Peter? Really? How does he count as a villain?” Well, as Schafrillas pointed out in his video on Spider-Man 3, Emo Peter is actually the antagonist for much of the second act. Peter, influenced by the symbiote, becomes a raging jackass and hurts and alienates everyone around him by being a colossal douchebag, not to mention how violent he gets as Spider-Man. This is very much an extreme case of the hero’s greatest enemy being themselves, because literally, Peter’s enemy in the chunk of the movie with Emo Peter is his own overinflated ego

Motivation/Goals: I mean, at the end of the day, it’s still Peter. He still wants to do the typical Peter Parker stuff, he’s just a jackass while he does it.

Performance: It’s Tobey Maguire busting loose and getting to act like an absolute doofus. There is literally nothing about this that isn’t amazing and I’m sorry if you can’t see it.

Final Fate: Peter eventually comes to realize that maybe the symbiote making him act like an egomaniacal tool is not a good thing, and so rebels against it, ultimately leading him to the roof of a church where Eddie Brock is praying for him to die and, well, the rest is history.

Best Scene:

Best Dance Move:

Final Thoughts & Score: Emo Peter has gotten a bad reputation over the years, but Schafrillas’ video really made me rethink why. As he puts it, Emo Peter comes off not as someone cool, but as what a loser thinks a cool person would be (which makes him still a loser). It seems fairly likely that the audience isn’t supposed to be rooting for Emo Peter or finding him cool, but instead finding him insufferable, ridiculous, and funny. We’re supposed to be laughing at Peter’s egomania, at his absurd and hammy showboating, not cheering him on and desiring to emulate him.

And that ultimately makes it more satisfying when Peter overcomes his ego and decides to rid himself of the symbiote. It might seem like I’m giving Spider-Man 3 a lot of credit here, but even Sam Raimi half-assing a movie wouldn’t leave things completely devoid of underlying brilliance. Emo Peter isn’t a villain in the sense that he’s some superpowered antagonist, he’s a physical representation of the negative impacts of fame and ego on Peter. This is Peter letting go of what makes him a hero and just reveling in being an absolute jerkwad to everyone around him.

I love the memes as much as everyone else of course, but Emo Peter is also a pretty clever symbolic foe. But even though I’m giving him an 8/10, we all know the real reason why he’s scoring so high:

Ok, but that’s it now, right? No more Spider-Man villains? Well, maybe for now. But don’t forget:

There’s gonna be Carnage.

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superbatbigbang · 5 years ago

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The Superbat Big Bang 2019 Masterlist

We’ve officially come to the end of the 2019 edition of the bang. What a fantastic turnout we had: 27 teams posted, and all of our teams that went into art claims made it across the finish line. Our participants put in an amazing effort this year–I hope you’ll join us in giving everyone a hardy round of congratulations.

Click through and/or scroll down to see all of the work posted during the 2019 bang.

Week One

June 29th Detachment bonehandledknife, Sdiosb, SDeeyS (NSFW profile) Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, 29k, Explicit (DCU) Bruce is politely poked in the cheek by a flying dick one night. Hijinks, and more worldbuilding than you can shake a dick at, ensue. fic on Ao3 | art by sdiosb | art by SDeeyS (NSFW) | masterpost — June 30th Again I Go Unnoticed Sam4265, TKodami Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, Lex Luthor/Bruce Wayne, 42k, Explicit (Smallville) Bruce Wayne moved to Smallville when he was eight years old, beginning a friendship with Clark Kent that would come to define the world. But for now they’re just teenagers in love with all the wrong people, running in circles until they finally find their way to each other. fic on Ao3 | art on Ao3 | masterpost — July 2nd The Incandescent Rose truc, lesbidar Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, Terry McGinnis/Dana Tan, 9k, Teen and Up (Batman Beyond) Terry McGinnis (the new Batman) impulsively asks marriage proposal advice from his mentor and grumpy father figure Bruce Wayne. When the older man describes a proposal in which he had been yelled at and abandoned, Terry can’t help investigate the matter by seeing some of Bruce’s most knowledgeable friends and family members. This search prompts someone else into action. fic on Ao3 | art on Ao3 | masterpost — July 4th Flowers in the Dustbin G.G. Kinko (Cheese_kun), magpiebee, SDeeyS Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, 9.6k, Explicit (No Specific Continuity) Bruce, now in his early sixties and married for nearly twenty years, was caught off guard by a sudden thought that he suddenly hated the sight of Clark. In an attempt to salvage a marriage that was threatening to fall apart due to Bruce’s sudden indifference, he booked a vacation to remake the bond…from one landmark to the next. fic on Ao3 | art by magpiebee | art by SDeeyS | masterpost — July 5th Mercy for a dreamer Dino_Cattivo, Jayjayverse Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, 25k, Not Rated (No Specific Continuity) Clark is happily married to Bruce. But his husband starts acting strange and Clark gets suspicious. At first Clark suspect Bruce of cheating but there is something bigger at work here affecting everyone around him. And Clark is set on finding out what it is. And with every piece of the puzzle he finds the situation just gets more confusing. Clark just wish he could wake up from all of this and go back to the times before everything fell apart. fic on Ao3 | art on tumblr | masterpost —

Week Two

July 7th The Game of Love Kaizokuhime, lovelastart Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, 12k, Explicit (Alternate Universe) In WayneTech VR Augmented Gaming, a guild of superheroes has arisen who volunteer to help police that reality. One of these superheroes, Superman, has had a crush on his fellow member, Batman, for many years, but thus far has had little success on asking him out, even as fellow guildmembers. How will their relationship progress? And how intimate can they truly become without knowing the other’s identity offline? fic on Ao3 | art on tumblr | masterpost — July 12th Recontre Icedlemon, Ms. 3, Santheum Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, 13k, Teen and Up (DCU, Alternate Universe) Life has a way of bringing people together, even if they’re from different planets. fic on Ao3 | art by Ms. 3 | art by Santheum masterpost — July 13th The Opposite of Love Butterflyslinky, mirybdraws Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent/Lois Lane, Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne, 10k, Explicit (Alternate Universe) Twenty years ago, Batman and Superman formed a bond to stop an alien threat. Now that Bruce wants to get married for real, he and Clark will have to travel to an alien planet to break that bond. fic on Ao3 | art on tumblr | masterpost —

Week Three

July 14th Clark Kent, of Krypton TerresDeBrume, stuvyx Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, 98k, Mature (DCU, Alternate Universe) Batman crashes on Krypton a few days before the Turn of the Year celebrations and Kal-El’s life takes a sharp turn to the left, on a path that will ultimately lead him to becoming Clark Kent. fic on Ao3 | art on tumblr | masterpost — July 15th Through a Glass Darkly susiecarter, lesbidar, Santheum Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, 111k, Explicit (DCEU) Post-BvS AU: Batman killed Superman—and then Metropolis was wrecked by Doomsday, not long before Steppenwolf arrived and conquered the world with innumerable swarms of parademons. Bruce’s nightmare has come true, in every way but one: what’s left of humanity is fighting to survive in a hostile wasteland as Steppenwolf manipulates the power of a pair of mother boxes to gradually reshape the planet to serve his needs. But rumors of a threat that could be greater still are finally forcing Bruce to consider taking truly drastic steps. Like bringing Superman back from the dead. fic on Ao3 | art by lesbidar | art by santheum | masterpost — July 16th Bodyguard missigma, Ischa Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne/Female OC, 12k, Explicit (pre-New52 Comics) Today, it is not Batman who is under attack, but Bruce Wayne. Mired in a court battle, he fights to keep his company out of bankruptcy and himself out of jail. But that fight is quickly forgotten as he barely survives an assassination attempt. Clark rushes to his side in Gotham City. With the help of Dick Grayson, he comes to the terrifying conclusion that not only is someone trying to ruin Bruce Wayne, but that person must know his true identity. To protect Bruce, Clark appoints himself as his bodyguard. Despite Bruce’s protests, he accompanies him as Bruce attempts to rebuild his tattered reputation with a new business deal. fic on Ao3 | art on tumblr | masterpost — July 18th Alternative Beginnings Ischa and Icalynn, with-your-poncho-on Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, 25k, Explicit (Alternate Universe) In which Clark’s parents sell the farm and join the circus to keep Clark safe and Dick and Clark grow up as brothers. When Clark is sixteen he falls in love with the very handsome Thomas Kane–but as suddenly as Kane joins the circus he disappears, leaving Clark without a word and brokenhearted. Five years later they meet again in Gotham on the day Dick’s parents die. Clark, feeling guilty about letting the Graysons die and determined to not fail Dick, leaves the circus to get Dick back–and get some answers from Bruce Wayne. But of course Bruce Wayne isn’t the only one with secrets. Meanwhile Dick is out for revenge. He wants the man who killed his parents: Tony Zucco. Dick’s and the Batman’s paths are about to cross. fic on Ao3 | art on Ao3 | masterpost — July 19th I Would Go In Chains (Just To Set You Free) BatsAreFluffy, adumbtree-draws Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, 23k, Teen and Up (No Specific Continuity) After an offworld mission goes horribly awry, Clark begins to wonder if the past is really behind him and Bruce. And what better way to deal with the issues than with planetary peace talks, forced transformations, and a psychic bond that doesn’t allow for lying? fic on Ao3 | art on tumblr | masterpost — July 19th I’ve Seen Your Flag On The Marble Arch minT (justiceleague), mirybdraws, Dino_Cattivo Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, Diana Prince/Lois Lane, Past Clark Kent/Diana Prince, 18k, Mature (Animated Movie Verse) He draws Clark to sitting position and pulls him close, hands on either side of his head. He feels the rise and fall of Clark’s chest against his body, and he doesn’t let go because he needs to feel it, to be sure. There’s a crackle over their comms, and Barry’s voice cuts through the noise around them, jarring. “Holy shit, are Batman and Superman hugging?” A reimagining of the events of - and preceding - the Death of Superman, if Clark had fallen for Bruce instead of Lois. fic on Ao3 | art by mirybdraws | art by Dino_Cattivo | masterpost —

July 20th Faal Dovahkiinro Wund dippkip, liodain Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, 19k, Teen and Up (Alternate Universe) Ever since that fateful day in Helgen, it seemed Clark’s life in Skyrim was doomed to be anything but simple. Dubbed “Dragonborn” but offered little guidance, Clark must muddle his way across the unpleasantly cold countryside with only his reticent friend Bruce for company. Together they will hunt down a serial killer, save a young boy’s life, and kill a few dragons along the way - all in a day’s work for the Dovahkiin. fic on Ao3 | art on Ao3 | masterpost —

Week Four

July 22nd A Knight’s Heart LilisBooks, carry-on-my-wayward-artblog, boomdeyadah Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne; Lex Luthor/Clark Kent (one sided), 15k, Mature (Alternate Universe) King Bruce is fighting a war he has no desire to be in whatsoever, especially since the war cost him more than he could’ve ever thought, just before it all began. Clark is just a knight fighting for what he has lead to believe is right, unsure of the reasons behind the war King Luthor has against all kingdoms. Is when these two men met that their beliefs are shaken to their core and the connection they share is more than it first leads the eye. This is a tale of knights and Kings, of war within kingdoms and a search for truth and justice with a tad of love along the way. fic on Ao3 | art by carry-on-my-wayward-artblog | art by boomdeyadah | masterpost — July 23rd A Beautiful Lie Killer_Rabbit_of_Caerbannog, JolBalrok Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, minor Clark Kent/Diana, minor Clark Kent/Lois Lane 16k, Explicit (DCEU with nods to Injustice) ‘Pet Sematary’ Barry had said, and Clark wonders if he’d somehow been right about that and he’d come back to life… wrong. False memories tangle with whispers in his head, a future Darkseid promises him, and through it all Clark tries to remember that in this world, his world, he doesn’t know what Bruce Wayne’s kisses taste like. fic on Ao3 | art on tumblr | masterpost — July 24th Supplicant Holdt & spacewolfcub, Ms. 3 Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, Pamela Isley/Bruce WayneBruce Wayne/Other(s)Clark Kent/Other(s), 51k, Explicit (DCEU Alternate Universe) The training and scars of Nanda Parbat run deep— Bruce has always fought the demons that make him want to stalk the night and rend pain unto the deserving. After a decade of trying to stay afloat, using BDSM as both punishment and moral compass, he turns to The Agency. Through them, he finds Mistress Ivy, whose Services help him keep ahead of the encroaching darkness… until he finds his lifeline gone without warning when Ivy’s extreme methods and poison play are revealed and she is exiled. The Agency has a reputation to uphold, secretive as they are. For years, they’ve offered him a chance at salvation—for a price. It is no different now and Bruce grasps desperately at their offer. Can the Service Provider known as Mr. S, the so-called “SuperDom,” help him rein in the Bat? fic on Ao3 | art on Ao3 | masterpost — July 25th The Words We Never Said Mechformers, susscx Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, 13k, Explicit (DCEU) Bruce is done pining. It is time to move on, time to heal and live out the rest of his life away from the man of steel. But what is two lovesick puppies to do, when they both need each other, as they need air to live? Misunderstandings are bound to happen, feelings trampled and cast aside as the two greatest men alive try to figure out the ancient wonders of confessions. fic on Ao3 | art on tumblr | masterpost — July 26th The Shape of my Heart Brenda, Selofain, carry-on-my-wayward-artblog (CrocInCros) Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, 27k, Explicit (DCEU) Bruce is impossible, stubborn, willfully self-destructive, and so self-sacrificing it's a wonder he hasn't suffocated under the weight of it. And Clark is stupidly, dizzyingly, crazy about him. Or, post-Justice League, five things Clark learns about Bruce that make him go all heart-eyes, and the time he finally does something about it. fic on Ao3 | art by Selofain | art by carry-on-my-wayward-artblog | masterpost — July 30th The Greatest Way lesbidar, haljords (barrybinary), androbeaurepaire Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, 17k, Teen an Up It’s Diana that ascertains their problem. She has an uncanny way of discovering truths that are best kept buried. After a year together, Bruce and Clark are having troubles. To save their relationship, they agree to answer a series of questions designed to foster emotional intimacy. It goes about as well as you’d expect. fic on Ao3 | art by haljords | art by androbeaurepaire | masterpost —

Amnesty

July 31st No More Heroes (In a World so Cold) ComposerofDiscord, SDeeyS Hernan Guerra/Kirk Langstrom, Pre Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, 27k, Teen and Up (DCAU/Justice League: Gods & Monsters) Clark and Bruce are visited by an Amanda Waller from another world. She asks for their help with her Superman, Hernan Guerra, who has gone rogue. Clark accepts, and Bruce goes with him When they arrive, Clark wishes to see who Hernan is and what he has done, while Bruce investigates the day Hernan went berserk. With what Bruce has gathered from his investigation and what Clark has seen of Hernan, they must decide who they can trust in the GnM universe: Waller or Hernan, or is there something much larger at play? fic & art on Ao3 | masterpost — August 1st A Golden Bell Hung in My Heart cattyk8 Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, 9k, Explicit (DCAU and DCEU Mashup) After finding themselves transported to Faerie, Superman and Batman must navigate an enchanted forest in order to get themselves back to their own plane of existence. Which would be easy enough—they’re not the World’s Finest for no reason, after all—if not for the fact that they’ve been cornered by a unicorn attracted by Superman’s virginity. Of course, who better to pop the Man of Steel’s cherry than Gotham’s Dark Knight? fic & banner on Ao3 masterpost — August 3rd that dwell in dust flirtygaybrit, g.g. kinko, TKodami Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, 53k, Mature (DCEU) Things are different after Clark Kent returns to the world: tainted things are made beautiful once more, a long-dormant seed begins to grow, and eventually, nature reclaims its own. Or: Clark plants a garden, Victor keeps a terrible secret, and Bruce faces the consequences of bringing someone back from the dead. fic on Ao3 | art by TKodami | art by G.G. Kinko | masterpost — August 4th Extra Art for The Game (of Love) lovelastart Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, art only art of game characters | flying dance — August 4th Catch a Falling Star architeuthis, G.G. Kinko, mashimero Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, 22k, Explicit (DCEU) Bruce is in the middle of a stakeout when Clark returns from an offworld mission, full of ideas. fic on Ao3 | art by G.G Kinko | art by mashimero | masterpost — August 4th On The Cusp vesper_house, milki3way Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, Diana Prince/Lois Lane, 47k, Explicit (DCEU Alternate Universe) Clark’s life isn’t what he imagined it would be. Instead of having a flourishing journalism career, he makes coffe at the Typewriter - coffee shop owned by Lois, his old crush who’s currently dating Diana. He’s lonely, he’s broke, and the only thing that makes him happy is his charity work. However, it takes just one day to turn everything round. Internet fame, investigations, billionaires with secret identities and homeless cats follow through. fic on Ao3 | art on tumblr | masterpost — August 5th Rewrite the Stars crypt_mirror, albilibertea Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, ~20k, Explicit (DCEU Alternate Universe) Clark Kent the Superman, Bruce Wayne the Dark Knight, their soul marks fated them to be together. But fate and destiny seem to have other plans. Even as they play their part, they pay the price. Could they ever rewrite the stars? fic on Ao3 | art on Ao3 | masterpost —

Inktober & Art Prompt Challenge

alienswearglasses (ComposerofDiscord) | When All I Wanted Was You: Day 12, Restraint ariesnohope | Week Six: Snow Day carry-on-my-wayward-artblog | morning kiss, kryptonian styled batsuit, Couch Cuddle, Kidnapped!, Day Four: Rescue, Day Eight: Rainbows, Disco! dino_cattivo | Day One: Capes, Day Four: Rescue, Day Five: Space, Day Eight: Rainbows, Day Nine: Sun, Day Ten: Watchtower, Day 11: Feat of Strength, Day 13: New Costume, Day 15: Interrupted, Day 16: Bat Gadgets, Day 17: Kryptonite, Day 18: Blindfolds, Day 20: Last Son of Krypton, Day 22: Tentacles, Day 23: Flying Together, Day 25: On a Farm, Day 26: Tender Embrace, Day 29: Inopportune Robin, Day 30: Low Effort Joke, Day 31: Soft Vore kaizokunohime | Day One: Capes, Day Two: Masks, Day Four: Rescue lovelastart | stabbed, Day Two: Masks ms. three | superbat practice, Day One: Capes, Day Two: Masks, Day Three: Costume Switch, Day 12: Restraint sdeeys | Good Morning Kiss+Manly beard, Day Six: Teamwork, Suit Porn + Swing Dance, Day Three: Costume Swap, Day 12: Restraint, Day 31: Soft Vore steals-thyme | Week One: beards (manly), Week Two: Kidnapped! sunaddicted | Day One: Capes, Day Three: Costume Switch, Day Five: Space, Day Six: Teamwork, Day Seven: Alleyway, Day Nine: Sun, Day 12: Restraints, Day 13: New Costumes, Day 14: Notebook Doodle, Day 15: Interrupted, Day 16: Bat Gadgets, Day 17: Kryptonite, Day 18: Blindfolds, Day 19: Bad Disguises, Day 20: Last Son of Krypton, Day 21: The Dark Knight, Day 22: Tentacles, Day 23: Flying Together, Day 24: A Stately Manor, Day 25: On a Farm, Day 26: Tender Embrace, Day 27: :peach emoji:, Day 28: NSFW Bars in unlikely places, Day 29: Inopportune Robin, Day 30: Low Effort Joke, Day 31: Light Vore

And that is it for the 2019 Superbat Big Bang! Please be sure to drop our authors and artists kudos, likes, and reblogs and let them know how much you enjoyed their hard work!

#superbat #superbat big bang #sbb2019 #clark x bruce #hernan x kirk #masterlist #sbb 2019

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hellyeahheroes · 5 years ago

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Post-OMD/Slott’s unused Spidey characters: Alpha a.k.a Andrew Maguire

So there was an ask about Alpha and it was about what happened to him, and yeah, it was just as @filipfatalattractionrblog, otherwise known as the admin, said, Slott got tired of him and dumped him on someone else where they got written into obscurity. And that is like a thing Slott or the writers of Post Brand New Day did constantly. He did it with Cindy Moon, he did it with a bunch of Spider-verse characters, he did it with Yuri Watanabe, he did it with Mr. Negative, Screwball, he did it with the entirety of Parker Industries and Horizon Labs. He even did it with Superior Spider-man. The moment Brand New Day started, Spider-man was tossed around a bunch of writers where they all started trying to race to create the next MJ love interest replacement. So there are even more characters that Slott didn’t create that are very under utilized. Not to mention characters created prior to One More Day/Brand New Day didn’t have much fucking screen time during this and thus did not receive any development. So characters like Liz Allen, Phillip Chang, Betty Brant, Flash Thompson(although he got to be Agent Venom), Randy Robertson, Glory Grant, Mary Jane Watson until fans complained, and even Aunt May which made the whole One More Day deal redundant.

Old school Spider-man constantly hung out with his clique. Post One More Day Spider-man didn’t seem to have many friends outside of his Spider-man persona. And the partnerships that he did make didn’t last.

So, this is where I will go back and detail those lost characters starting with Andy because he is the most egregious. Then I speculate if they can come back, what role should they have.

I fucking hate Andrew Maguire. And apparently, I am supposed to hate him according to Slott, but I believe that is a cop out. He wanted this character to work. Regardless, Andrew Maguire serves as the Peter Parker without any of the selflessness and virtue. “So...Eddie Brock?” No, not as cool as Eddie or as well written.

And subtlety is not a thing for Slott. If you noticed, the character is named after the two Spider-man actors at the time, Toby Maguire and Andrew Garfield. People say it is a tribute, I personally think he was mocking them. My opinion, but you already know that.As you can see that the origin is pretty much a This Loser Is You trope which is weird because it’s insulting for fans of Spider-man, a character that is renown for being a superhero with everyman problems, to have a character who exists to say Peter is exceptional and you are not.

Andy goes on a Field Trip to Horizon Labs and meets Peter Parker who is about to unleash his newest discovery, Parker Particles. Which by the way, feels like an accomplishment for Peter, but Slott just had to twist the knife on that and have Reed casually say that he discovered it first and decided to leave Pandora’s Box be. Fuck Reed Richards. Anyways, as expected, Parker’s experiment went to shit and Andy decides to to perform his one solo act.

And Alpha is born.

Okay well, first, Horizon had to settle with Maguire’s parents to avoid lawsuits and Any became the mascot for Horizon labs and then Alpha is born. So they do a check on his powers to see what the kid’s got.

He has the strength to lift a ton which is weaker than any Spider-man, he is bulletproof, has enhanced speed,has energy projection. So if you are following those useless ass stat charts on Marvel wiki, his chart would be...

Intelligence: 2 Normal

Strength: 4 One Ton is his max

Speed: 3 It just says enhanced speed so I am going to assume he can’t break the sound barrier

Durability 5 Bulletproof

Energy Projection: 5 Long Range single energy type blasts

Fighting Ability 2 Normal

What we have here is a powerhouse. Oh and he has a caveat. He can only use one power at a time at the moment. And he is only growing more powerful because Mr. Fantastic points out, Andy is embedded with Parker Particles which are tied to the expansion of the universe. His powers are only going to grow. So Mr. Fantastic decides to place Andy Maguire under Peter Parker’s care. Thus making Alpha Spider-man’s sidekick.

Alpha because no one else in the world has self-control without an Uncle Ben dying decides to market himself as the next best superhero. He gets marketing deal with Horizon to market their inventions, and he also becomes a pop sensation and media darling. Gets the girl that he was pawning after, Chrissy Chen, who I do like btw. I mean he is living the life, amigo.

His new girlfriend even makes him a fan page.

And this is where there is some credence to the idea that Andy was meant to be hated because the comment section tears him apart with meta commentary. He is called a poochie which is a synonym for Scrappy, a term tor fan hated characters. Which, again, what is the point of a character that we, the fans, are meant to hate? It is counter intuitive and a waste of time. I mean people like Golden Booster, Slott. I just don’t get why bother with this? Of course, Andy’s set up in his origin follows the same beats as Slott’s other creation, Cindy Moon, who he wanted to be liked and cried racism when fans hated her as well.

This is endemic to Slott’s run as a whole. He doesn’t get Spider-man. He wanted to create Iron Man instead of making Spider-man stories. And when he introduces new characters, he doesn’t properly want to build them. Like Kamala Khan had 3 issues of character development before she became a superhero. Her origin was fleshed out. Miles had 5 issues and 14 issues to have a proper origin. Andy literally has just 1 issue that can’t even be considered an origin. It is not his origin story. It is just another problem for Peter to solve and that was the problem with Cindy Moon. She wasn’t a character but a replacement to Felicia Hardy who Slott went and tarnished to begin with.

So Alpha gets annoyed with those comments and decides to prove the haters wrong. Peter has been keeping track of Alpha the entire time so he intercepts him before he does anything wrong. Spider-man takes him under his wing and makes him his side-kick.

First, no. Spider-man has turned down sidekicks from Black Cat without super powers, Ollie Osnick, Sally Avril, and a few others. Miles’ isn’t his sidekick, student, or anything. Miles is his own hero who Peter feels responsible for and he sort of hangs out with.Spider-man doesn’t do sidekicks nor would he take them on if offered. He barely does team-ups and only out of propriety and necessity. So him donning Andy as such is out of character and kind against theme.

Second, the dialogue here does not match Peter’s tone.He is too sarcastic and cavalier about things. Peter is one of the most restrained heroes in Marvel in terms of his power usage. He knows what Andy is capable of. He wouldn’t be so casual. He would be on him like white on rice. He knows the seriousness of Andy’s situation. If he teaching Andy, he would refrain from fighting unless he has to. Peter was a teacher. He should know how teenagers are because he has dealt with them. It is like....okay.

Anyways, Andy being the ambitious little scamp decides to take over and do his own thing.

Okay, this is when I kind of knew that Slott would be an okay Fantastic Four writer.And he doesn’t waste any time reminding people that he is the most powerful hero of all time.

Ben is beside himself because the little shit used his catchphrase in public, Johnny is ribbing on Spidey because he created a monster, Sue is trying to keep the peace, and Reed is annoyed because of Parker’s terrible decision of telling a teenager that he is the most powerful being in the universe.

Reed tries again, and reminds Peter that Alpha is his responsibility. He has to essentially babysit Alpha for free. Meanwhile Alpha is letting his newfound success go to his head. He decides to two-time the girl that he was pining for...or he only liked because he felt that she was the best that he can get. You see, Andy is the guy who thinks as people as material to gain. He doesn’t mind using them, but once he outgrows them, he dumps them.

It is like Slott just wants to create the biggest asshole in Spider-man. And I guess that’s okay, but again, to what end? Is Andi going to be a bad guy? No. Is he going to be a reoccurring character? No. So why bother creating him if other writers won’t bother and fans hate him?

After this, Miles Warren aka the Jackal captures Andy easily and Peter has to find the little fuck because he is ,”Peter Parker’s responsibility.” Yeah, I am tired of that too.The Jackal wants to clone Alpha and repopulate the world with his own Alpha Males. No I am not kidding, that is what he calls them. Anyways, Peter tries to stop him but not before Miles Warren congratulates him of “out mad sciencing” him and creating Alpha.

....I am already bored with this comic so I will speed it up. Jackal unleashes the clones, clones don’t have the Alpha powers because the power is not tied to Alpha’s genetics, Alpha breaks free of the harnesses and kills all of the clones, and saves himself sort of. Well not before saying even more alarming shit.

This is it. This is where he will learn, right? This is where Alpha makes a turn and become the little scamp that we hope for.

Well...can’t say that I am surprised.

Peter gets fed up and conspires to take his power away from Alpha because the kid just can’t be trusted with them anymore. He is far too dangerous and honestly, Peter was right, but he was wrong the rest of the time.

Here is the thing: Alpha should have never been given these powers and allowed to keep them in any capacity.Peter should have suggested of taking them away from the very beginning and so should’ve Reed Richards and every hero who tested Andy. And I get it, it’s a little hypocritical of a blog about teenaged superheroes to say this, but there is a difference between the teens we usually cover and characters like Alpha. Alpha is in it for the glory and fame. He never has a redeeming moment. He is never humbled and is too self-centered to be humbled.Making him the strongest teen ever without proper guidance and knowing his parents were trying to mooch off of him and didn’t give a shit how much it effected his son, and only cared because of a profit margin should have been a dead giveaway. Someone should have spoken to his therapists or teachers and figured what kind of kid Andy was. It shouldn’t have taken issues of Spider-man testing it out because it was a bad idea from the start.

Alpha continues to use his power irresponsibly until the Avengers demand that Spider-man call him in to deal with Terminus. Alpha does so as he travels from Japan to Manhattan to deal a huge blow.

So good news is that Alpha got stronger. Bad news is that Alpha took out all of the airplane controllers in the vicinity so all planes are about to crash all over the New York area. So think 9/11 except on 30 buildings or so. The Avengers go into scramble mode and try to immediately rescue the civilians which by the way was the first rule Spider-man told Alpha. Guess who isn’t trying to save any civilians?

So Alpha utterly failed this day. He made a bad situation worse and it shouldn’t have taken this to finally bench Alpha. The moment he disobeyed Peter, was the moment he should have been stripped of his power. I am being serious. But whatever, Alpha gets stripped by Spider-man.

So Alpha got powered down and is normal again.

But wait, there is more. Otto took over Peter’s body and preceded to give Andy his power back, but only a little of it this time. Andy moves to Pittsburgh, his parents divorced, and becomes the new hero of the Burgh. But he accidentally kills someone using his Alpha power, his power has been shown to be cancerous and he unknowingly gave his mom cancer and he doesn’t know it, the person he supposedly killed comes back and becomes this huge cancerous alpha powered villain named Zeta, Alpha stopped Zeta, and then another criminal blackmailed him to stop Andy from fighting crime or he will kill his whole family. And that was it for Alpha.

Can this character be redeemed?

Yes.

Honestly, Alpha was saved in his mini in my opinion. I know, I didn’t post any pictures because that mini looked like shit. Again, however, the story wasn’t bad and did redeem him a little. He should have been in Miles Morales spot when it came to Marvel’s PS4. He was more suited for it and most of Marvel’s PS4 was Slott’s Spider-man run anyways. It had Yuri, Screwball, Mr. Negative, a sympathetic Doc Ock, and shit. All of these are hallmarks of Slott’s writing.

What would I do to introduce him back to the Marvel fold?

First, Alpha isn’t Godly anymore. He is like a low rent Nova. That stat chart that you saw in the beginning is where he is at now. So as long as he stays at that level, we are good. Second, his new predicament of being blackmailed by a criminal creates an interesting scenario. I would think a criminal would love having a bad guy under his thumb. So I suspect this bad guy, Boss Jimmy Cohen might think of expanding with his brand new super pet.Let’s say Alpha becomes his own enforcer and forces him to. Alpha’s mom dies of the cancer that he accidentally gave him and becomes Zeta 2.0.

So Andy after dealing with a ton of despair decides to come back and help Boss Cohen expand his empire in New York. He starts in Brooklyn, and you know where I am going with this. Andy meets Miles, Spider-man II. I am against having Miles inherent Peter’s characters, but Andy is basically an unused character. He might as well go somewhere so why not with Miles Morales who is getting an expanding list of rogues anyways. A reluctant fallen hero would be an interesting addition.

As for Chrissy Chen, I don’t like wasting characters at all, especially one that is just off the edge of Spider-man mythos. Chrissy still goes to Midtown High. And so does Lana Baumgartner. Instead of creating another character, just have her be Lana’s confidant just like Miles has with Ganke.

And that is all folks. Now I will be doing a bit more on the forgotten characters of Post OMD Spider-man. A lot of them aren’t teens, so I will cover them on my other blog. I hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading.

@ubernegro

#alpha #andrew maguire #spider-man #peter parker #dan slott #marvel #Marvel Comics #long post

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sansy-fresh · 5 years ago

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I know I said I wasn’t going to post anything, but I lied

some Pre-Atypical nonsense, Atypical Verse belongs to @itsladykit!

Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Suicidal Idealization, Hopeful Ending, Not Canon to Series

ao3 link

The dragon had been on his scent for a few weeks now, Edge always careful to cover his tracks as well as he was able. It wasn’t going to be long now that Twisted would find him, which was what the Plan was for. The Plan would take him away, far away, and then he could do what he needed to do. All he needed to do tonight was be at the docks by nightfall and the captain, who’d already been paid off for his silence if a certain gilded skeleton came asking after him, would let him board and, in the end, do nothing to stop the Plan.

The wind blew his coat around his legs as Edge strode down the cobblestone street, intent on stopping at some inn or bar to indulge in one last meal before it was time to board. It was nearing nightfall, the boat set to leave when the church bell tolled for the tenth hour, and as much as he was looking forward to eating a hardy meal his soul cried out for something more substantial. He viciously ignored it’s call, ignored the way his fangs ached at each person that passed, his magic detecting their souls without his permission.

Really, the state of his mind, after starving himself for weeks, months even, had it been that long? Would be a good enough excuse as to why he didn’t notice the monster following him right away. They were too far down the road to discern what kind of monster they were, nor what they wore, the darkness shrouding all but the fact that, as he turned down a narrow alley just to test, the footsteps followed right behind.

Surely this monster must be stupid, a true and utter incompetent fool to think attacking and otherwise molesting Edge would be a good idea. He’d held himself tall, fangs and claws on moderate display as he moved with grace down the streets of this quiet, sleepy village, and only the bravest among their citizens had the gall to ask him where he hailed from. Each time he answered only “The East.” which was enough of an answer to explain his own inherent strangeness, to their simple minds.

But no, this monster must have been a fool, since they didn’t even stop to notice that Edge had gone into a blocked off alleyway, the only exit the way they’d come from. Stopping just as he reached the end, Edge turned, noting the way his stalker had stopped a few feet away, the shadows still restricting his ability to really see who it might be. Well, at least until two glimmering golden eyelights flashed on in the darkness, the lights thinned to draconic slits.

“What’re ya doin’ out so late, there, precious?”

Edge shuddered at the pure fury in Twist’s voice, his bones clenching up even as he let his own eyelights flash a bright crimson. He was not going back without a fight, he would finish his Plan and everything would be better.

“Does it matter? I certainly don’t remember inviting you on my journey.” Taking a step forward, Edge clenched his fists. “Go home, Twisted. There is nothing for you here.”

Twist seemed to take a deep breath, smoke curling out through his nostrils as his sockets closed. “See, tha’s where yer wrong, darlin’. There is somethin’ here fer me.” His sockets popped back open, subsonic rumble making the air around them ripple. “There’s you.”

Edge took a step back, fear stabbing his soul, but he was powerless to do anything as Twist lunged forward, scooping him up and taking to the skies. He did his best to kick and flail, biting and scratching the strong arms that held him to a nearly scorching hot chest, the back of his mind intently aware that if he fell from this height his Plan would succeed. Unfortunately, before he could loosen the dragon’s near iron grip, he dropped the few feet left to the ground as Twist rapidly descended.

Rolling to his feet, Edge summoned an attack to his hand, unwilling to let this go without leaving at least a few marks on his would be captor, though Twist only stared back at him with an eerie grin. Trees surrounded them, the grass soft underfoot. Edge had no idea where they were, and to his complete unsurprise, he didn’t much care.

“How ‘bout this, sweetheart. We ‘ave a good, dirty fight, and you win? I’ll leave ya alone.” To die was left unsaid, but the fact that the subtext was there at all stung at Edge’s soul.

“And if you win?” He had to ask. He knew what the deal would be already, knew the stakes of his Plan, but he had to ask.

Twist’s grin twisted into something feral. “Well, fer starters you’ll let me feed ya.”

Edge’s mouth turned in a grimace, though he’d expected that. “What else?”

“You’ll let me bring ya home.”

Clutching the jagged bone tightly, Edge snarled. “I have no home.” If he thought it would hurt Twist, or make him leave, he was wrong, as the stupid dragon just grinned and tilted his head. Edge answered by lunging forward, stabbing with his knife at Twist’s damaged socket. Two iron wrought hands gripped his wrists, turning him around and bringing him back to Twist’s chest, crossing them behind his back in such a way that if he moved, he’d dislocate something.

It didn’t stop him from snarling, kicking back with his boot until he hit something solid, Twist grunting even as he threw himself backwards, taking a flailing Edge with him. As they hit the ground, Edge was disoriented enough that he couldn’t fight off the two legs that wrapped around his own, nor the hand that brought his high above his head in a hold that he wasn’t going to escape from unless he broke his own wrists.

The remaining hand dipped beneath his blouse, Edge crying out as sharp fingers took gentle hold of his soul, Love/Stability/Care/Safety pouring into its aching depths. Tears began to stream from his eyes as Twist brought his soul to his mouth, kissing it tenderly before giving Edge a Look.

“I think I won that ‘un, what about you?” His voice was cheeky, almost too happy for what it was he’d “won”. Edge’s skull flopped back to rest on Twisted’s chest, his soul still crying out for something he didn’t want to give it.

“Le’s go home, darlin’. Le’s go home where I c’n take care a ya.”

Well. He didn’t really have a choice, did he. But, as Twist went to return his soul, careful and easy, he was reminded that Twist really did care… for some odd reason. He could do this, at least for a while. At least until Twist didn’t care anymore. It shouldn’t take long. Edge sighed to himself, resigned to a few more years of being the thing he hated most.

At least he wouldn’t be alone for it.

#fresh writes #gift writing #fanfic of a fanfic #Atypical Fanfic #twistededgelord #angst #hurt/comfort #read the tags

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makistar2018 · 5 years ago

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Taylor Swift on Sexism, Scrutiny, and Standing Up for Herself

AUGUST 8, 2019 By ABBY AGUIRRE Photographed by INEZ AND VINOODH

Cover Look Taylor Swift wears a Louis Vuitton jumpsuit. Rings by Cartier and Bvlgari. To get this look, try: Dream Urban Cover in Classic Ivory, Fit Me Blush in Pink, Tattoostudio Sharpenable Gel Pencil Longwear Eyeliner Makeup in Deep Onyx, The Colossal Mascara, Brow Ultra Slim in Blonde, and Shine Compulsion by Color Sensational Lipstick in Undressed Pink. All by Maybelline New York. Hair, Christiaan; makeup, Fulvia Farolfi. Fashion Editor: Tonne Goodman

Photographed by Inez & Vinoodh, Vogue, September 2019

IT’S A SUNDAY AFTERNOON in Tribeca, and I’m in Taylor Swift’s loft, inside a former printing house that she has restored and fortified into a sanctuary of brick, velvet, and mahogany. The space is warm and cozy and vaguely literary—later, when we pass through her bedroom en route to her garden, 10 percent of my brain will believe her wardrobe might open up to Narnia. Barefoot in a wine-colored floral top and matching flowy pants, Swift is typing passwords into a laptop to show me the video for “You Need to Calm Down,” eight days before she unleashes it on the world.

I have a sliver of an idea what to expect. A few weeks earlier, I spent a day at the video shoot, in a dusty field-slash-junkyard north of Los Angeles. Swift had made it a sort of Big Gay Candy Mountain trailer park, a Technicolor happy place. The cast and crew wore heart-shaped sunglasses—living, breathing lovey-eyes emoji—and a mailbox warned, LOVE LETTERS ONLY.

Swift and a stream of costars filmed six scenes over about a dozen hours. The singer-songwriter Hayley Kiyoko, known to her fans as “Lesbian Jesus,” shot arrows at a bull’s-eye. The YouTube comedian-chef Hannah Hart danced alongside Dexter Mayfield, the plus-size male model and self-described “big boy in heels.” The Olympic figure skater Adam Rippon served up icy red snow cones. Swift and her close friend Todrick Hall, of Kinky Boots and RuPaul’s Drag Race, sipped tea with the cast of Queer Eye.

Speak Now “Rights are being stripped from basically everyone who isn’t a straight white cisgender male,” Swift says. Celine coat. Dior shoes. Fashion Editor: Tonne Goodman. Photographed by Inez & Vinoodh, Vogue, September 2019

The mood was joyous and laid-back. But by the end of the day, I wasn’t sure what the vignettes would add up to. There were shoot days and cameos I wouldn’t observe. For security reasons, the song was never played aloud. (The cast wore ear buds.) Even the hero shot, in which Swift and Hall sauntered arm in arm through the dreamscape at golden hour, was filmed in near-total silence.

For weeks afterward, I tried to sleuth out a theory. I started casually. There was a “5” on the bull’s-eye, so I did a quick search to figure out what that number might mean. Immediately I was in over my head.

Swift has a thing for symbols. I knew she had been embedding secret messages in liner notes and deploying metaphors as refrains since her self-titled debut in 2006—long before her megafame made her into a symbol of pop supremacy. But I hadn’t understood how coded and byzantine her body of work has become; I hadn’t learned, as Swift’s fans have, to see hidden meanings everywhere. For instance: In the 2017 video for “Look What You Made Me Do,” a headstone in a graveyard scene reads NILS SJOBERG, the pseudonym Swift used as her writing credit on Rihanna’s hit “This Is What You Came For,” a Swedish-sounding nod to that country’s pop wizards.

After an excessive amount of ad hoc scholarship—a friend joked that I could have learned Mandarin in the time I spent trying to unpack Swift’s oeuvre—I was no closer to a theory. Pop music has become so layered and meta, but the Taylor Swift Universe stands apart. Apprehending it is like grasping quantum physics.

My first indication of what her new album, Lover, would be about came just after midnight on June 1, the beginning of Pride Month, when Swift introduced a petition in support of the federal Equality Act. This legislation would amend the Civil Rights Act to outlaw discrimination based on gender identity and sexual orientation. (It has passed the House, but prospects in Mitch McConnell’s Senate are unclear.) Swift also posted a letter to Senator Lamar Alexander, Republican of Tennessee, asking him to vote yes. The request, on her personal letterhead (born in 1989. LOVES CATS.), denounced President Trump for not supporting the Equality Act. “I personally reject the president’s stance,” Swift wrote.

Back in the kitchen, Swift hits play. “The first verse is about trolls and cancel culture,” she says. “The second verse is about homophobes and the people picketing outside our concerts. The third verse is about successful women being pitted against each other.”

The video is, for erudite Swifties, a rich text. I had followed enough clues to correctly guess some of the other cameos—Ellen DeGeneres, RuPaul, Katy Perry. I felt the satisfaction of a gamer who successfully levels up—achievement unlocked!The video’s final frame sends viewers to Swift’s change.org petition in support of the Equality Act, which has acquired more than 400,000 signatures—including those of Cory Booker, Elizabeth Warren, Beto O’Rourke, and Kirsten Gillibrand—or four times the number required to elicit an official response from the White House.

“MAYBE A YEAR OR TWO AGO, Todrick and I are in the car, and he asked me, What would you do if your son was gay?”

We are upstairs in Swift’s secret garden, comfortably ensconced in a human-scale basket that is sort of shaped like a cocoon. Swift has brought up an ornate charcuterie board and is happily slathering triple-cream Brie onto sea-salt crackers. “The fact that he had to ask me . . . shocked me and made me realize that I had not made my position clear enough or loud enough,” she says. “If my son was gay, he’d be gay. I don’t understand the question.”

I have pressed Swift on this topic, and her answers have been direct, not performative or scripted. I do sense that she enjoys talking to me about as much as she’d enjoy a root canal—but she’s unfailingly polite, and when we turn to music, her face will light up and she will add little melodic phrases to her speech, clearly her preferred language.

Balancing Act Later this year, Swift will appear in the film adaptation of Cats—as the flirtatious Bombalurina. Givenchy dress. Bracelets by John Hardy, David Yurman, and Hoorsenbuhs. Photographed by Inez & Vinoodh, Vogue, September 2019

“If he was thinking that, I can’t imagine what my fans in the LGBTQ community might be thinking,” she goes on. “It was kind of devastating to realize that I hadn’t been publicly clear about that.”

I understand why she was surprised; she has been sending pro-LGBTQ signals since at least 2011. Many have been subtle, but none insignificant—especially for a young country star coming out of Nashville.

In the video for her single “Mean” (from 2010’s Speak Now), we see a boy in a school locker room wearing a lavender sweater and bow tie, surrounded by football players. In “Welcome to New York,” the first track on 1989, she sings, “And you can want who you want. Boys and boys and girls and girls.” Two years later, she donated to a fund for the newly created Stonewall National Monument and presented Ruby Rose with a GLAAD Media Award. Every night of last year’s Reputation tour, she dedicated the song “Dress” to Loie Fuller, the openly gay pioneer of modern dance and theatrical lighting who captured the imagination of fin-de-siècle Paris.

Swift, who has been criticized for keeping her politics to herself, first took an explicit stance a month before the 2018 midterms. On Instagram, she endorsed Democrats for the Tennessee Legislature and called out the Republican running for Senate, Marsha Blackburn. “She believes businesses have a right to refuse service to gay couples,” Swift wrote. “She also believes they should not have the right to marry. These are not MY Tennessee values.”

Swift says the post was partly to help young fans understand that if they wanted to vote, they had to register. To tell them, as she puts it, “Hey, just so you know, you can’t just roll up.” Some 65,000 new voters registered in the first 24 hours after her post, according to Vote.org.

Trump came to Blackburn’s defense the following day. “She’s a tremendous woman,” he told reporters. “I’m sure Taylor Swift doesn’t know anything about her. Let’s say I like Taylor’s music about 25 percent less now, OK?”

In April, spurred by a raft of anti-LGBTQ bills in Tennessee, Swift donated $113,000 to the Tennessee Equality Project, which advocates for LGBTQ rights. “Horrendous,” she says of the legislation. “They don’t call it ‘Slate of Hate’ for nothing.” Swift especially liked that the Tennessee Equality Project had organized a petition of faith leaders in opposition. “I loved how smart it was to come at it from a religious perspective.”

Meanwhile, the “Calm Down” video provoked a Colorado pastor to call Swift “a sinner in desperate need of a savior” and warn that “God will cut her down.” It also revived heated debate within LGBTQ communities about the politics of allyship and corporatization of Pride. Some critics argued Swift’s pro-LGBTQ imagery and lyrics were overdue and out of the blue—a reaction the new Swift scholar in me found bewildering. Had they not been paying attention?

Nor did it strike me as out of character for Swift to leverage her power for a cause. She pulled her catalog from Spotify in 2014 over questions of artist compensation. She stared down Apple in 2015, when the company said it would not pay artists during the launch of its music service. (Apple reversed itself immediately.) As a condition of her record deal with Universal Music Group last year, the company promised that it would distribute proceeds from any sale of its Spotify shares to all of its artists. And this summer, Swift furiously called out Scott Borchetta, founder of Big Machine Label Group, for selling her master recordings to the music manager Scooter Braun. (When I ask Swift if she tried to get her masters from Big Machine, her whole body slumps with a palpable heaviness. “It was either investing in my past or my and other artists’ future, and I chose the future,” she says of the deal she struck with Universal.)

Swift’s blunt testimony during her 2017 sexual-assault case against a radio DJ—months before the #MeToo reckoning blew open—felt deeply political to me and, I imagine, many other women. Swift accused the DJ, David Mueller, of groping her under her skirt at a photo session in 2013. Her camp reported the incident to his employer, who fired him. Mueller denied the allegation, sued Swift for $3 million, and his case was thrown out. Swift countersued for a symbolic $1 and won.

Watch Taylor Swift Take Over Go Ask Anna:

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In a Colorado courtroom, Swift described the incident: “He stayed latched onto my bare ass cheek” as photos were being snapped. Asked why photos of the front of her skirt didn’t show this, she said, “Because my ass is located at the back of my body.” Asked if she felt bad about the DJ’s losing his job, she said, “I’m not going to let you or your client make me feel in any way that this is my fault. Here we are years later, and I’m being blamed for the unfortunate events of his life that are the product of his decisions—not mine.”

When Time included Swift on the cover of its “Silence Breakers” issue that year, the magazine asked how she felt during the testimony. “I was angry,” she said. “In that moment, I decided to forgo any courtroom formalities and just answer the questions the way it happened...I’m told it was the most amount of times the word ass has ever been said in Colorado Federal Court.”

Mueller has since paid Swift the dollar—with a Sacagawea coin. “He was trolling me, implying that I was self-righteous and hell-bent on angry, vengeful feminism. That’s what I’m inferring from him giving me a Sacagawea coin,” Swift says. “Hey, maybe he was trying to do it in honor of a powerful Native American woman. I didn’t ask.” Where is the coin now? “My lawyer has it.”

I ask her, why get louder about LGBTQ rights now? “Rights are being stripped from basically everyone who isn’t a straight white cisgender male,” she says. “I didn’t realize until recently that I could advocate for a community that I’m not a part of. It’s hard to know how to do that without being so fearful of making a mistake that you just freeze. Because my mistakes are very loud. When I make a mistake, it echoes through the canyons of the world. It’s clickbait, and it’s a part of my life story, and it’s a part of my career arc.”

I’d argue that no heterosexual woman can listen to “You Need to Calm Down” and hear only a gay anthem. “Calm down” is what controlling men tell women who are angry, contrary, or “hysterical,” or, let’s say, fearing for their physical safety. It is what Panic! at the Disco singer Brendon Urie says to Swift in the beginning of the “ME!” music video, prompting her to scream, “Je suis calme!”

I cannot believe it is a coincidence that Swift, a numbers geek with an affinity for dates, dropped the single—whose slow, incessant bass is likely to be bumping in stadiums across the world in 2020 if she goes on tour—on June 14, a certain president’s birthday.

IT'S ENLIGHTENING to read 13 years of Taylor Swift coverage—all the big reviews, all the big profiles—in one sitting. You notice things.

How quickly Swift went from a “prodigy” (The New Yorker) and a “songwriting savant” (Rolling Stone) to a tabloid fixture, for instance. Or how suspect her ambition is made to seem once she acquires real power.

Other plot points simply look different in the light of #MeToo. It is hard to imagine that Swift’s songs about her exes would be reviewed as sensationally today. I wonder if, in 2019, any man would dare grab the microphone out of a young woman’s hands at an awards show. I stared into space for a good long while when I was reminded that Pitchfork did not review Taylor Swift’s 1989 but did review Ryan Adams’s cover album of Taylor Swift’s 1989.

I ask Swift if she had always been aware of sexism. “I think about this a lot,” she says. “When I was a teenager, I would hear people talk about sexism in the music industry, and I’d be like, I don’t see it. I don’t understand. Then I realized that was because I was a kid. Men in the industry saw me as a kid. I was a lanky, scrawny, overexcited young girl who reminded them more of their little niece or their daughter than a successful woman in business or a colleague. The second I became a woman, in people’s perception, was when I started seeing it.

“It’s fine to infantilize a girl’s success and say, How cute that she’s having some hit songs,” she goes on. “How cute that she’s writing songs. But the second it becomes formidable? As soon as I started playing stadiums—when I started to look like a woman—that wasn’t as cool anymore. It was when I started to have songs from Red come out and cross over, like ‘I Knew You Were Trouble’ and ‘We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.’ ”

Those songs are also more assertive than the ones that came before, I say. “Yeah, the angle was different when I started saying, I knew you were trouble when you walked in. Basically, you emotionally manipulated me and I didn’t love it. That wasn’t fun for me.”

I have to wonder if having her songwriting overlooked as her hits were picked apart and scrutinized wasn’t the biggest bummer of all. Swift: “I wanted to say to people, You realize writing songs is an art and a craft and not, like, an easy thing to do? Or to do well? People would act like it was a weapon I was using. Like a cheap dirty trick. Be careful, bro, she’ll write a song about you. Don’t stand near her. First of all, that’s not how it works. Second of all, find me a time when they say that about a male artist: Be careful, girl, he’ll use his experience with you to get—God forbid—inspiration to make art.”

Without question the tenor of the Taylor Swift Narrative changed most dramatically in July 2016, when Kim Kardashian West called her a “snake” on Twitter, and released video clips of Swift and Kanye West discussing the lyrics to his song “Famous.” (No need to rehash the details here. Suffice it to say that Swift’s version of events hasn’t changed: She knew about some of the lyrics but not others; specifically, the words that bitch.) The posts sparked several hashtags, including #TaylorSwiftIsASnake and #TaylorSwiftIsCanceled, which quickly escalated into a months-long campaign to “cancel” Swift.

To this day Swift doesn’t think people grasp the repercussions of that term. “A mass public shaming, with millions of people saying you are quote-unquote canceled, is a very isolating experience,” she says. “I don’t think there are that many people who can actually understand what it’s like to have millions of people hate you very loudly.” She adds: “When you say someone is canceled, it’s not a TV show. It’s a human being. You’re sending mass amounts of messaging to this person to either shut up, disappear, or it could also be perceived as, Kill yourself.”

An overhaul was in order. “I realized I needed to restructure my life because it felt completely out of control,” Swift says. “I knew immediately I needed to make music about it because I knew it was the only way I could survive it. It was the only way I could preserve my mental health and also tell the story of what it’s like to go through something so humiliating.”

State of Grace Dior bodysuit and skirt. Photographed by Inez & Vinoodh, Vogue, September 2019

I get a sense of the whiplash Swift experienced when I notice that, a few months into this ordeal, while she was writing the songs that would become her album Reputation—and fighting off Mueller’s lawsuit—a portion of the media and internet began demanding to know why she hadn’t un-canceled herself long enough to take a position in the presidential election.

On that: “Unfortunately in the 2016 election you had a political opponent who was weaponizing the idea of the celebrity endorsement. He was going around saying, I’m a man of the people. I’m for you. I care about you. I just knew I wasn’t going to help. Also, you know, the summer before that election, all people were saying was She’s calculated. She’s manipulative. She’s not what she seems. She’s a snake. She’s a liar. These are the same exact insults people were hurling at Hillary. Would I be an endorsement or would I be a liability? Look, snakes of a feather flock together. Look, the two lying women. The two nasty women. Literally millions of people were telling me to disappear. So I disappeared. In many senses.”

Swift previewed Reputation in August 2017 with “Look What You Made Me Do.” The single came with a lyric video whose central image was an ouroboros—a snake swallowing its own tail, an ancient symbol for continual renewal. Swift wiped her social-media feeds clean and began posting video snippets of a slithering snake. The song was pure bombast and high camp. (Lest there be any doubt, the chorus was an interpolation of a ’90s camp classic, Right Said Fred’s “I’m Too Sexy.”) Nonetheless, most critics read it as a grenade lobbed in the general direction of Calabasas.

One longtime Nashville critic, Brian Mansfield, had a more plausible take: She was writing sarcastically as the “Taylor Swift” portrayed in the media in a bid for privacy. “Yeah, this is the character you created for me, let me just hide behind it,” she says now of the persona she created. “I always used this metaphor when I was younger. I’d say that with every reinvention, I never wanted to tear down my house. ’Cause I built this house. This house being, metaphorically, my body of work, my songwriting, my music, my catalog, my library. I just wanted to redecorate. I think a lot of people, with Reputation, would have perceived that I had torn down the house. Actually, I just built a bunker around it.”

IN MARCH, the snakes started to morph into butterflies, the vampire color palette into Easter pastels. When a superbloom of wildflowers lured a mesmerizing deluge of Painted Lady butterflies to Los Angeles, Swift marked it with an Instagram post. She attended the iHeartRadio Music Awards that night in a sequin romper and stilettos with shimmery wings attached.

Swift announced the single “ME!” a month later, with a large butterfly mural in Nashville. In the music video for the (conspicuously) bubblegum song, a hissing pastel-pink snake explodes into a kaleidoscope of butterflies. One flutters by the window of an apartment, where Swift is arguing in French with Urie. A record player is playing in the background. “It’s an old-timey, 1940s-sounding instrumental version of ‘You Need to Calm Down,’ ’’ Swift says. Later, in the “Calm Down” video, Swift wears a (fake) back tattoo of a snake swarmed by butterflies.

We are only two songs in, people. Lover, to be released on August 23, will have a total of 18 songs. “I was compiling ideas for a very long time,” Swift says. “When I started writing, I couldn’t stop.” (We can assume the British actor Joe Alwyn, with whom Swift has been in a relationship for nearly three years, provided some of the inspiration.)

Swift thinks Lover might be her favorite album yet. “There are so many ways in which this album feels like a new beginning,” she says. “This album is really a love letter to love, in all of its maddening, passionate, exciting, enchanting, horrific, tragic, wonderful glory.”

In Focus Swift’s new 18-track album, Lover, will be released August 23. Hermès shirt. Chanel pants. Maximum Henry belt. Photographed by Inez & Vinoodh, Vogue, September 2019

I have to ask Swift, given how genuinely at peace she seems, if part of her isn’t thankful, if not for the Great Cancellation of 2016, then for the person she now is—knowing who her friends are, knowing what’s what. “When you’re going through loss or embarrassment or shame, it’s a grieving process with so many micro emotions in a day. One of the reasons why I didn’t do interviews for Reputationwas that I couldn’t figure out how I felt hour to hour. Sometimes I felt like: All these things taught me something that I never could have learned in a way that didn’t hurt as much. Five minutes later, I’d feel like: That was horrible. Why did that have to happen? What am I supposed to take from this other than mass amounts of humiliation? And then five minutes later I’d think: I think I might be happier than I’ve ever been.”

She goes on: “It’s so strange trying to be self-aware when you’ve been cast as this always smiling, always happy ‘America’s sweetheart’ thing, and then having that taken away and realizing that it’s actually a great thing that it was taken away, because that’s extremely limiting.” Swift leans back in the cocoon and smiles: “We’re not going to go straight to gratitude with it. Ever. But we’re going to find positive aspects to it. We’re never going to write a thank-you note.”

Though people will take the Perry-Swift burger-and-fries embrace in the “You Need to Calm Down” video as a press release that the two have mended fences, Swift says it’s actually a comment on how the media pits female pop stars against one another. After Perry sent Swift an (actual) olive branch last year, Swift asked her to be in the video: “She wrote back, This makes me so emotional. I’m so up for this. I want us to be that example. But let’s spend some time together. Because I want it to be real. So she came over and we talked for hours.

“We decided the metaphor for what happens in the media,” Swift explains, “is they pick two people and it’s like they’re pouring gasoline all over the floor. All that needs to happen is one false move, one false word, one misunderstanding, and a match is lit and dropped. That’s what happened with us. It was: Who’s better? Katy or Taylor? Katy or Taylor? Katy or Taylor? Katy or Taylor? The tension is so high that it becomes impossible for you to not think that the other person has something against you."

Meanwhile, the protesters in the video reference a real-life religious group that pickets outside Swift’s concerts, not the white working class in general, as some have assumed. “So many artists have them at their shows, and it’s such a confounding, confusing, infuriating thing to have outside of joyful concerts,” she tells me. “Obviously I don’t want to mention the actual entity, because they would get excited about that. Giving them press is not on my list of priorities.”

At one point, Swift asks if I would like to hear two other songs off the new album. (Duh.) First she plays “Lover,” the title track, coproduced by Jack Antonoff. “This has one of my favorite bridges,” she says. “I love a bridge, and I was really able to go to Bridge City.” It’s a romantic, haunting, waltzy, singer-songwritery nugget: classic Swift. “My heart’s been borrowed and yours has been blue,” she sings. “All’s well that ends well to end up with you.”

Next, Swift cues up a track that “plays with the idea of perception.” She has often wondered how she would be written and spoken about if she were a man, “so I wrote a song called ‘The Man.’ ” It’s a thought experiment of sorts: “If I had made all the same choices, all the same mistakes, all the same accomplishments, how would it read?” Seconds later, Swift’s earpods are pumping a synth-pop earworm into my head: “I’d be a fearless leader. I’d be an alpha type. When everyone believes ya: What’s that like?”

Swift wrote the first two singles with Joel Little, best known as one of Lorde’s go-to producers. (“From a pop-songwriting point of view, she’s the pinnacle,” Little says of Swift.) The album is likely to include more marquee names. A portrait of the Dixie Chicks in the background of the “ME!” video almost certainly portends a collaboration. If fans are correctly reading a button affixed to her denim jacket in a recent magazine cover, we can expect one with Drake, too.

Eyes On Her Designer Stella McCartney on her friendship with Swift: “In London we’ll go on walks and talk about everything—life and love.” Stella McCartney coat. In this story: hair, Christiaan; makeup, Fulvia Farolfi. Photographed by Inez & Vinoodh, Vogue, September 2019

She recently announced a fashion collection with Stella McCartney to coincide with Lover. “We met at one of her shows,” says McCartney, “and then we had a girls’ night and kind of jumped straight in. In London we’ll go on walks and talk about everything—life and love.” (Swift has no further fashion ambitions at the moment. “I really love my job right now,” she tells me. “My focus is on music.”) Oh, and that “5” on the bullseye? Track five is called “The Archer.”

Yet something tells me the most illuminating clue for reading both Lover and Reputation may be Loie Fuller, the dancer to whom Swift paid homage on tour. As Swift noted on a Jumbotron, Fuller “fought for artists to own their work.” Fuller also used swirling fabric and colored lights to metamorphose onstage, playing a “hide-and-seek illusionist game” with her audience, as one writer has put it. She became a muse to the Symbolists in Paris, where Jean Cocteau wrote that she created “the phantom of an era.” The effect, said the poet Stéphane Mallarmé, was a “dizziness of soul made visible by an artifice.” Fuller’s most famous piece was “Serpentine Dance.” Another was “Butterfly Dance.”

SWIFT HAS HAD almost no downtime since late 2017, but what little she does have is divided among New York, Nashville, Los Angeles, and Rhode Island, where she keeps homes—plus London. In an essay earlier this year, she revealed that her mother, Andrea Swift, is fighting cancer for a second time. “There was a relapse that happened,” Swift says, declining to go into detail. “It’s something that my family is going through.”

Later this year, she will star in a film adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Catsas Bombalurina, the flirtatious red cat. “They made us the size of cats by making the furniture bigger,” she says. “You’d be standing there and you could barely reach the seat of a chair. It was phenomenal. It made you feel like a little kid.”

But first, she will spend much of the summer holding “secret sessions”—a tradition wherein Swift invites hundreds of fans to her various homes to preview her new music. “They’ve never given me a reason to stop doing it,” she says. “Not a single one.”

Speaking of: Inquiring fans will want to know if Swift dropped any more clues about how to decode Lover during this interview. For you I reviewed the audio again, and there were a few things that made my newly acquired Swifty sense tingle.

At one point she compared superstardom in the digital age to life in a dollhouse, one where voyeurs “can ‘ship’ you with who they want to ‘ship’ you with, and they can ‘favorite’ friends that you have, and they can know where you are all the time.” The metaphor was precise and vivid and, well, a little too intricately rendered to be off the cuff. (Also, the “ME!” lyric: “Baby doll, when it comes to a lover. I promise that you’ll never find another like me.”)

Then there was the balloon—a giant gold balloon in the shape of a numeral seven that happened to float by while we were on her roof, on this, the occasion of her seventh album. “Is it an L’?” I say. “No, because look, the string is hanging from the bottom,” she says.

It might seem an obvious symbolic gesture, deployed for this interview, except for how impossible that seems. Swift let me control the timing of nearly everything. Moreover, the gold seven wasn’t floating up from the sidewalk below. It was already high in the sky, drifting slowly toward us from down the street. She would have had to control the wind, or at least to have studied it. Would Taylor Swift really go to such elaborate lengths for her fans? This much I know: Yes, she would.

Taylor Swift Talks Googling Herself, Which Celebrity's Closet She'd Raid, and the Bravest Thing She's Ever Done:

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Vogue

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live-at-the-rainbow · 6 years ago

Text

Saturday night's the night I like

Pairings: Ben Hardy x fem!reader, Taron Egerton x reader (platonic)

Summary: Ben gets a little jealous. 2k words.

You had worked with Taron before on Kingsman and had become quite good friends. You hadn’t seen him in a while because you were both off working on different projects, him on Rocketman and you on Bohemian Rhapsody. That is, of course, where you met Ben and hit it off near immediately; and though normally you avoided dating coworkers, Ben and you made it only a month and a half into production before you ended up in each other’s arms and have been inseparable since. It was good though, it wasn’t weird and the rest of the cast was very supportive, a little too much in fact. They were more than pleased when you shyly announced your coupling and you heard more than a few grumbles of finally or about time. Since then it had been a whirlwind of filming, press tours, premieres, and award shows. Your new little group becoming like a family as you spent so much time together, but you still kept in touch with Taron especially when he called you to excitedly gush about working with Elton again.

Now you were hurriedly slipping on your heels as Ben stood in the door frame of your bedroom, he is teasing you that the event you are getting ready for will be over by the time you finish. When you look up he is smiling at you, the event doesn’t start for another hour so you shoot him a mocking glare. Nevertheless, you grab your bag and stand moving to scurry past him, but he stalls you once you reach him with a hand of each side of your waist. He hums as he looks into your eyes, lowering his face to press his lips against yours. As he does so he slides his arms further around you and pulls your body flush against his. You break apart soon enough and you sigh resting your arms around his neck, but when he leans back in you pull your face away.

“I thought we were going to be so late, hmm?” You question him and he only groans in response dropping his head into the crook of your neck.

“Let’s just stay here, sod the whole thing, have I told you how good you look?” He says against your neck, placing a kiss on your collar.

“Yes, a few times.” He is still kissing your neck and showing zero signs of stopping, not that you necessarily want him too, but you take his face in your hands and bring him up to meet your gaze. You press another kiss against his lips, “we’ll finish this later, promise.” He grins at you and with one more stolen peck he agrees, breaking from you to reach for your coat.

By the time you get to the event it has nearly began, throughout the car ride you have been texting away with Taron and chattering on with Ben. You know Taron is going to be there and are excited both to see him and to introduce Ben, you have a hefty feeling that they will get along splendidly. The actual event itself doesn’t last very long, a quick ceremony for some production company, the real meat of the evening was in the after party. It takes over the top two floors of a luxurious penthouse with a flowing bar and spacious dance floor. Ben has brought you a drink and the two of you mill about speaking to some attendees about Bohemian Rhapsody. It’s very crowded so when you first feel a hand against your back you assume it is just someone trying to pass by.

“Well look who decided to turn up,” the familiar voice causes you to swivel around to find Taron behind you with a large grin on his face. You cheer, throwing your arms around him and he crushes you in a hug, “there she is!” You laugh and pull away, clapping a hand onto his shoulder and looking at him.

“Look at you mate! Looking fancy in your sharp suit,” he bats a hand at you and dramatically dips his head.

“Oh stop it,” he says in a put on voice but laughs along with you.

“Though I was expecting the Elton kit, where’s all the feathers and jewels?” He teases you back, telling you it’s at the dry-cleaners. He adds on that you look beautiful as well and you thank him before turning slightly back to where Ben is stood watching the exchange. You grab his hand tugging him forward slightly and turn back to Taron with a large smile as you introduce the two.

“Taron, this is Ben,” you say gesturing between them, “Ben, Taron.” They reach out to shake hands, each giving a hello. They had both heard about the other from you, you had told Ben all about working with Taron and had told Taron about your new movie and relationship. You quickly jump back into the conversation to catch up on everything that has happened since you’ve last seen each other. The banter flows as usual, even Ben is involved as you joke around about all the shenanigans that were had by the BoRhap cast. You feel like things are going really well, which fills your heart, you are also a few drinks in which means your bladder is filled as well. You excuse yourself to go to the restroom, but when you come back you find that the conversation has stalled, Ben has his phone out and Taron looks away from him out over the crowd, you can’t help but pout a little as you return. Taron catches your eye and leans in to speak over the loud music they have started to play.

“I’ve got to see go see someone I’ll catch you later, yeah?” You nod and he throws Ben a cheers mate as he leaves to move through the crowd. You turn back to Ben still frowning a bit as he puts away his phone, but carry on with your night.

It has been about an hour since and the two of you find yourselves nearing the edge of the bar, with you swaying lightly to the music and Ben chuckling at you. You spot Taron nearby and call out to him, he smiles and makes his way over, you don’t miss how Ben’s expression falls slightly. The three of you resume the conversation you had been having earlier, however Ben is a bit quieter. When a familiar song starts over the speakers you squeal and jump a bit, both Taron and you launching into the first verse of Saturday Night’s Alright For Fighting.

“Come on!” He tugs you with him out onto the dance floor, you call out a hurried be right back! to Ben as you weave through to the middle of the crowd. The two of you jump and dance around like a pair of fools, belting the lyrics at the top of your lungs, several people around you joining in on the mirth. You stay out there for quite a few songs laughing and egging each other on, you’re also a little out of breath so you motion to Taron.

“I’m gonna go grab Ben, see if he wants to dance.” He gives you a thumbs up and continues to do some horrible dance move from the ‘80s. Weaving back through the crowd you spot Ben closer to the edge of the dance floor, but as you approach you notice he looks a bit sullen. He still smiles when he sees you but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. You grab his hand and pull him to you, “come dance with me.” His eyes move past you for a moment then drop to the ground and he shakes his head a little.

“Nah, you look like you’re already having a good time.” There isn’t any malice in his voice but you can tell he is upset.

“What’s wrong?” You question him but he isn’t budging so you grab him and pull him off onto a terrace. The music isn’t as loud here and it’s mostly empty due to the frigid temperature. “Ben?” He looks up and his cheeks have gone a bit red, which normally happens when he is worked up about something.

“It’s just- I don’t-” he huffs and you raise your eyebrows at him, waiting for some sort of explanation. “I just didn’t expect you to get on so well with him.” He mumbles it so you don’t even register at first what he has said.

“With Taron? Well, yeah, we are good friends, I’ve told you this Ben.” He is shaking his head a little more.

“I know, but I didn’t think you’d be so close with him and kinda...touchy?” Even as he says it he knows it is just his own insecurity and hates that you look a little disappointed.

“That’s because we haven’t seen each other in such a long time.” You can’t help but sound defensive, Taron is your friend and you aren’t going to hide that. Ben is already scrambling to correct himself.

“I know I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that,” he puts his hands on the sides of your arms and looks down at you, “I just got a little in my head because it reminded me of us before we got together.” You sigh and place your hands on either side of his face.

“You know I love you,” he interrupts you with a quick kiss and an I know, “I don’t want you to feel upset or left out. Taron’s my mate but you are my love, okay? I do miss Taron and was excited to see him tonight but I also was really excited for you two to meet because you are important to me and I want all my friends to love you too.” You give a slight shrug and your hands drop to Ben’s neck, pulling his forehead to yours. “I was hoping you’d get along, you like the same football team.” You added as an afterthought and Ben chuckles leaning down into a kiss before returning his forehead to press against yours.

“Thank you, I love you too.” It’s whispered, his eyes are closed and he feels his anxiety drain from his body.

As the wind picks up and the sweat you had worked up from dancing vanishes you were reminded of the chilly weather and the warm party just a few feet from you. Ben notices the chill that passed through you and pulls you into him wrapping his arms around you and rubbing his hands over your sides.

“We should head back in before you freeze.” He suggests and you hum into his warm embrace.

“Will you dance with me if we go back in?” You ask and he smiles kissing the top of your head.

“Course.”

Back on the busy dance floor the two of you find Taron who whoops at your return, you sling an arm around Ben’s neck as you return to jumping along with the music. You end up dancing for nearly the rest of the night both with Ben and Taron, the two even shared a dance when Sugarhill Gang’s Apache played over the speakers. As the night ended and you made your way out you were more than delighted to find the boys in an animated conversation and you parted with plans to get together for a karaoke night soon. Waving goodbye to Taron you wrapped your arm around Ben’s and rested your head on his shoulder as you walked back to the waiting car. You couldn’t help but smile deeply as Ben looked down at you and brought his lips to yours. When he draws back he smirks suggestively but his voice is soft.

“Didn’t we leave something unfinished at home?”

AN: Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think.

#ben hardy x reader #ben hardy/reader #ben hardy #bohemian rhapsody #borhap #taron egerton #queen band #roger taylor #x-men apocalypse #x reader #queen #taron egerton x reader #rocketman #kingsman #ben hardy x fem!reader

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so-shiny-so-chrome · 6 years ago

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Witness: KirkyPet

Creator name (AO3): KirkyPet

Creator name (Tumblr): kirkypet

Link to creator works: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KirkyPet/works

Q: Why the Mad Max Fandom?

A: I was actually quite fixated on Fury Road after watching it on DVD. I didn’t expect to particularly like it - I’d never seen the previous Mad Max movies (I finally have!) - but I was transfixed. And I didn’t particularly ship Furiosa and Max until the haemothorax/transfusion scene (although then I very much did). There were just so many layers of detail and backstory there waiting to be explored, because so little was actually said or explained. It’s like a neutron star of fic-fodder. And I didn’t discover ao3 til summer 2016 so I spent a full year wandering around like a lost soul. So, yeah. Quite a huge deal for me really.

Q: What do you think are some defining aspects of your work? Do you have a style? Recurrent themes?

A: Music. Minor characters looking on and commenting on the protagonists (big fan of Thomas Hardy’s more comedic efforts, where this happens a lot). Reasonably happy endings.

Q: Which of your works was the most fun to create? The most difficult? Which is your most popular? Most successful? Your favourite overall?

A: Maybe the small town modern AU (Ordinary People), because it was a nice change from the Wasteland setting. I’m not very Wasteland-minded at all. But the Bladerunner AU (Do Androids Dream etc) and the new Firefly AU are lots of fun because the two sets of movie worlds mesh together way better than I’d expected.

The most difficult? - My Wasteland headcanon stuff. It’s too fluffy and not remotely violent which doesn’t really ring true. I’m very aware that my Furiosa is hardly ever violent, or my Max particularly mad. But that’s the great thing about fanfiction - the infinite versions of characters and scenarios. Surprisingly the Blues Brothers AU is quite tricky. I can’t quite make Jake Blues and Furiosa the same person. But it’s an excuse to listen to great tunes. And Jessie will make a comeback in that one though (she’s not dead, I should make that clear).

On the old kudos-to-hits ratio, the Firefly AU is taking off surprisingly well, but it’s quite smut-focused so that might well account for it ;) early days yet. Bladerunner AU is doing well for a multi-chapter. Up Around The Bend (an oldie, the escape from the Citadel) is hanging in there.

Most successful? I’m happy enough with all of them, except maybe I Kissed A Girl. Please don’t read that. Favourite overall - It’s a toss-up between Ordinary People (a chance to explore my headcanon in a modern small town setting) and the Bladerunner AU (it makes me weep).

Q: How do you like your wasteland? Gritty? Hopeful? Campy? Soft? Why?

A: Hopeful and silly and everyone has access to a record player somehow. This is why I stick to writing AUs these days. But I’ll happily read all of the above!!! And entirely intend to!

Q: Walk us through your creative process from idea to finished product. What's your prefered environment for creating? How do you get through rough patches?

A: Watch a film, browse tumblr, listen to music, get an idea. Have a good think about it, think about it some more, find a starting point, write it down, go from there. Maybe stick a draft on tumblr if I’m not sure if it’s going to fly. Write it anyway.

For OCs, figure out what someone looks like. That’s weirdly essential for me. Zal (Furiosa’s Dad) is Ed Harris, Young Val (Furiosa and Max’s grownup daughter) is Alicia Vikander and Toots (rescued-kid-turned-Wasteland-son-in-law) is Didier Drogba (bit of a blast from the past but hey). I was getting nowhere with Blues Mothers Jessie until I recast her as Sofia Boutella (because if Max is getting a generational update, she needs one too). And Firefly AU’s Mister Jobassa is Jakob Oftebro. All very pretty people, but what are you gonna do? But they’re only these people in MY head - they can be whoever the reader wants them to be. Oh, and Pin from Ordinary People was 100% an actual real tour guide I met on holiday once.

Preferred environment? Usually while half asleep in bed, or walking, or In the gym, or watching tv - world building seems to be something that happens away from the keyboard. Writing itself is exclusively on my phone so can and does happen anywhere at all. Rough patches are usually caused by guilt that I’m not spending enough time on the day job :P

Q: What (if any) music do you listen to for help getting those creative juices flowing?

A: I listen to music all the time anyway, mainly upbeat pre-90s tunes. Disco, funk, ska, motown, anything like that. And it always find its way into the writing. Sometimes artificially (where I’m on a song-lyrics-as-title theme - it took ages for some of the Wasteland fics) but most times it can help shape the story in a BIG way. I can’t listen to certain songs now without reliving a chapter or a whole fic - Dionne Warwick’s Do You Know The Way To San José is Bladerunner!Furiosa’s Green Place song, and Ash’s Angel Interceptor is StarTrek!Max’s flying music - it’s noisy enough but also speaks to me about a longing to not be alone in the universe. Concrete and Clay is smalltown!Max’s bittersweet lament for Jessie and Twistin’ The Night Away is the final party scene in Cheedo’s update of The Rivals. Some fics wouldn’t have been written at all if it wasn’t for a particular song. The Black Keys’ Heavy Soul was my original Wasteland Furiosa/Max ship theme back in 2015, before I’d even heard of ao3 - that’s the closest I’ve come to a song fic. Caleb was only Caleb because of a line in Symarip’s Skinhead Moonstomp, and I was so desperate to write a fic with Leo Sayer’s You Make Me Feel Like Dancing In it that it was the final excuse for a whole modern mirrorverse to my Wasteland headcanon series. Bet you’re sorry you asked now. But I’ll have to go and put together a Kirkyverse OST list.

Q: What is your biggest challenge as a creator?

A: To put the damn thing down and walk away. To not assume it’s awful if I don’t get a kudos in the first thirty hits. Thumb cramp from phone-typing.

Q: How have you grown as a creator through your participation in the Mad Max Fandom? How has your work changed? Have you learned anything about yourself?

A: I didn’t write at all before the Mad Max fandom. Apart from a ghost story when I was about seven (it did win a prize tbh) and a truly god awful Stephen King rip-off when I was fourteen (which makes me nauseous from embarrassment when I think of it). So a fair bit, it’d probably be fair to say. It would be impossible not to, you know, from zero :) My work has changed from spinoffs of inspirational fics (thanks Squid!) to ‘well, I suppose I’ve got a head canon, let’s see if I can make this work’ to ‘goddammit I’ll finish this if it kills me’. Then I missed my exit on the Roundabout of Fic Endings and had to go round again in a modern AU mirror verse. Now it’s all movie mashups, which is lots of fun and probably never-ending. During which time I have learned that crossovers are my favourite to write. And that writing fanfic is probably not a temporary fad :)

Q: Which character do you relate to the most, and how does that affect your approach to that character? Is someone else your favourite to portray? How has your understanding of these characters grown through portraying them?

A: I don’t really have a favourite tbh. They’re all their own people and do their own thing. Writing them is very dependent on their environment, and it’s often surprising how they behave and where they end up. It feels a bit like they’re on Whose Line Is It Anyway?

Q: Do you ever self-insert, even accidentally?

A: Hah yes. The first one was Zephyr the annoying visitor in Witches and Ogres. Young Val’s social awkwardness in As was very much on loan from me.

Q: Do you have any favourite relationships to portray? What interests you about them?Furiosa and Max are pretty much always there - sometimes it’s probably platonic, and sometimes there’s a third person involved (nothing posted yet but but but). It depends on the fic.

Q: Do you prefer to create in one defined chronology or do your works stand alone? Why or why not?

A: One big long chronology for the headcanon series (childhood to old age), then a whole bunch of little universes for everything else.

Q: To break or not to break canon? Why?

A: Not to break, as much as I can. But it depends.

Q: Share some headcanons.

A: Furiosa was never actually a wife - she was captured but dodged the whole Vault experience. Max is the original Max, of Jessie and Sprog fame. Toecutter was Joe’s younger self - he scooted around on motorbikes and raised hell before deciding to settle down and take the Citadel. AU Toast and Dag are twins (from a shady mob family). Furiosa’s Dad is a friendly Wasteland bandit.

Q: If you work with OCs walk us through your process for creating them. Who are some of your favourites?

A: They’re supplementary characters who make the plots fit together, and sources of conflict or humour (usually both). I think I like Ordinary People’s Alexa and Mallory best. Although the Irish War Boy crew in Beyond the Pale were fun to write. Ace’s trio of love interests (Brick, Big Dave and Caleb/Pin) are a consistent theme. Sometimes I steal characters from other sources (stand up Christopher Brookmyre) when it’s convenient.

Q: What sparks your many wonderful AUs?

A: Movies, tv, gifs, tumblr prompts and general chitchat (thankyou btw!!!)

Q: A lot of your fics are light-hearted and hopeful, which is great to see for the apocalyptic Mad Max world. Your thoughts on that? What is it about the characters that inspires you to reframe them?

A: I just really like comedy and am committed to winkling it into every fictional scenario whether it’s appropriate or not. Glad people don’t hate it!

Q: Who are some works by other creators inside and outside of the fandom that have influenced your work?

A: Well, it was Squid’s ( @sacrificethemtothesquid )Length and Breadth of Fury Road that got me out of the starting blocks! Christopher Brookmyre’s The Sacred Art of Stealing was a big influence on my headcanon series, as was a particular Coronation Street storyline from some years back :)

Q: Tell us about a current WIP or planned project.

A: Blues Brothers AU series (Sweet Home Chicago) -Wasteland Star Trek First Contact AU (Angel Interceptor) -Firefly AU (Our Mister Jobassa) -His Dark Materials AU (unnamed as yet, just brewing in my head, hope it just stays there for the meantime) -Will combine all the headcanon works into one long fic sometime. That’s everything from Witches and Ogres through to Ordinary People. Probably be called ‘All the Things that I’ve Done’ (basically the two lives of Furiosa: Wasteland and mirrorverse).

Thank you @kirkypet

#Mad Max Fandom Creator Spotlight #Mad Max Fandom Spotlight #mad max fanfic #mad max fanfic author spotlight #fury road fandom #fury road fanfic #kirkypet

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that-shamrock-vibe · 6 years ago

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Movie Review: Venom (Spoilers)

Spoiler Warning: I am posting this review a week after the film is released worldwide, so if you haven’t yet seen the movie don’t read on.

Critics vs Consumer:

Alright, so I touched upon this briefly in my non-spoiler review, but I am actually quite disgusted at these critics and alleged “fake reviews” that are determined to tear this movie down until everyone hates it. I get that Venom comes out at the same time as Lady Gaga’s A Star is Born, but both are completely different movies in terms of genre and story so there shouldn’t be any type of competition.

As I mentioned the comparisons to both Jim Carrey’s Liar Liar and Halle Berry’s Catwoman are absurd. First of all the movie is carried mostly by Tom Hardy’s acting which both the aforementioned movies failed on and also, while I understand the one scene in this movie at the restaurant could be compared to Catwoman, it’s not in any way as random or senseless, in fact it is quite funny and organic to the story.

I also do not see why the public puts so much stock in what critics have to say about movies, they are just people who happen to have most likely studied movies. The main point of movies are to entertain and that opinion belongs to the individual not to a few snide individuals.

Characters:

As always my plan is to go into a character analysis of all the main players based on my fondness for them and also what they contributed.

Eddie Brock/Venom:

Tom Hardy was a fantastic choice for this role; not only did I find Eddie relatable as a reporter, studying media myself I do feel were I to pursue journalism this is how I would tackle it, but also just Hardy’s personality in general resonated so well here.

It was great to see Hardy in a movie as himself for a change rather than having some sort of mask obscuring his face...mostly obviously, but also Hardy proved apt at action sequences. I genuinely yelped with joy at the scene when he’s originally escaping the Life Foundation with the symbiote and yes while the hallway fight scene was very strategic in its editing so you couldn’t tell if it was Hardy or a stunt double jumping off the wall, it was still brilliant and I haven’t seen a comic-book movie do a continuing hallway scene like that since Iron Man 2 with Black Widow. Atomic Blonde is still the best when it comes to continuing hallway fights.

Eddie’s life in the beginning of the movie was also rather organic from having a fiancée to formerly being a reporter at the Daily Globe which are both comics-accurate, although I am surprised by the number of people that believe Eddie has worked for the Daily Bugle and I put that down to the 90s animated series which, for simplicity I am guessing, had Peter and Eddie working in the same place so that Eddie getting fired would spur his vendetta against Peter.

Speaking of the animated series, yes this does compare somewhat to the animated series with how the character of Venom behaves however I still rate Hardy’s version of the character higher than both that version and definitely Topher Grace’s interpretation. In fact if this version of Venom was in Spider-Man 3, it may have saved the movie.

Now I mentioned comedy, and from the minute Venom started talking as a disembodied voice, I was sold on the comedy; it is somewhat in poor taste to make a villain who is known to eat people a comedic character but this is where I think the movie could have excelled if the writing and directing was better.

I would have loved more exposition into the symbiotes; we had brief descriptions of their biology and behaviour from both Carlton Drake and Dora Skirth on separate occasions, however I would have loved them to explore an adaptive personality of the symbiotes. For instance, it would have made perfect sense for Venom and Eddie to pick-up and mimic traits of the other; Eddie became comfortable with Venom eating people towards the end, so if the movie had explored the fact that Venom’s language and personality switch was a result of being bonded with Eddie, because he did touch upon that towards the end when Eddie asked Venom why he decided to save the planet and Venom responded “Because of you” but they didn’t fully develop the symbiotic bond enough on an emotional level to warrant that one moment paying off to mainstream audiences. I could be spitballing ideas completely in the dark but I do believe that was the intention of the symbiote-human bond.

Having said that, this was a completely comic-book accurate portrayal of Venom, from the look to the personality. I loved during the scene where the SWAT team is cornering Eddie and he and Venom mimic the SWAT team’s actions of “Mask! Copy!”. Originally when I saw that in a promo clip I did not understand why they said that but now seeing the whole scene it does make sense and is very funny.

My favourite scene is possibly when Eddie first becomes aware of Venom and he makes the elaborate assumption that he has a brain tumour, it’s just the delivery of the line which made it so funny. But that whole motorcycle chase was brilliant and demonstrated Venom’s power wonderfully, even healing Eddie’s broken leg when taking over his body fully.

Also I loved how much of a wingman Venom was to Eddie because it did make sense the symbiote would want Eddie to be happy because it keeps him as a symbiote happy; happy host happy parasite, but Venom being the one who prompted Eddie to apologize and attempt to get back with Anne was a very friendly thing to do in exchange for obviously inhabiting his body.

Another great moment with the two is when Venom tried getting Eddie to jump out the window of his old work building and then in the next scene Eddie is waiting by the lift and all Venom can say is “Pussy” was hilarious.

The one thing that doesn’t make sense to me is the lack of explanation in Venom seemingly leaving Eddie after destroying the rocket containing Riot, but then in the next scene he and Venom are reunited with no explanation. It is simply Venom saying goodbye in one scene and then supposedly a day or two later they’re back in business...no explanation is given!

Anne Weying:

Michelle Williams could have very easily just been the stereotypical MJ damsel character in this movie, fortunately she was far from being a damsel. Deciding to essentially start off the movie by breaking up the main character and their love interest was an interesting move because it led to a continuation of Eddie pining after her and eventually at least being on a civil level.

I think her reaction to meeting Venom was quite genuine, freaking out at the site of Venom about to eat that guard and then Eddie taking control to try and explain was a very realistic moment. Being able to be at least friends with Eddie allowed for her to care about him without obvious romantic entanglement getting in the way. Although the fact that Venom then tried to harm Dr. Dan partially because it feels Eddie and Anne should be together made things slightly complicated.

During that hospital scene when the symbiote is forced to leave Eddie’s body and inhabits a dog in order to try and reconnect with Eddie was also interesting, not only because Anne proved herself a very capable woman with her ability to “handle weird shit” but also the fact she identified Venom had merged with the dog and the two, I am guessing, decided to merge to save their mutual friend was also rather savvy of a character pegged as the stereotypical love interest.

Speaking of She-Venom, this is possibly the scene that has caused the most uproar with this movie which, in my opinion is slightly unjustified but also understandable as it goes back to that lack of symbiote exposition. As I said, if the writers had made it so it was explained that Venom had grown to care about what happens to Eddie and looking out for his wellbeing or that it had felt what Anne feels for Eddie which led to that kiss then it would have made a lot more sense, and in my opinion took away from what was an awesome moment in the first appearance in film or television of She-Venom.

Also Michelle Williams played a blinder in an interview when stating that she was “ready to play She-Venom” but not specifically stating that part of her character would appear in this movie.

I do hope, if there is a sequel, that Eddie and Anne do end up back together because not only do I believe their chemistry but also Dr. Dan just didn’t do much for me.

Carlton Drake/Riot:

In terms of this being a “dated” comic-book movie, the villain was definitely a large part of that. Riz Ahmed very much gave a Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor or Julian McMahon as Doctor Doom type of villain as Carlton Drake. That’s not necersarrily a bad thing and both those villains had their pluses but it was just another businessman in a suit at the end of the day.

I did like the running like of “Have a nice life” first used by Drake to Eddie as a precursor to him destroying Brock’s career to the point he couldn’t even use his name in print anymore. Then at the end of the movie when Venom says the same to Riot just before the rocket explodes with him in it it further supports my annoyance of wishing the movie definitively explored the fact the symbiote and host were becoming more like each other.

Speaking of Riot, while I liked the character and the fact he was essentially a living weapon, I do think it was a missed opportunity not to make Scream the main villain symbiote. Not only is she an agent of the Life Foundation in the comics but her host Donna Diego was already in the movie as that homeless woman Eddie was friends with. Also it would have been nice to have a female villain in the Spider-verse as so far we’ve only ever seen male villains in any Spider-Man movie.

But also on Riot’s origin, the fact it took him so long to get from Malaysia to San Francisco with no exposition as to whether or not he’s been learning about Earth and instead just going from person to person, starting off with “Jameson” by the way which is a brilliant Easter-Egg for John Jameson III who is the son of famous Daily Bugle editor J. Jonah Jameson Jr, but not even showing us the fact he knew his kin were at the Life Foundation which is why he went there and chose Drake as his host. It just screams (ironically) missed opportunity.

Once symbiosis was achieved though, it did seem like Riot as a character was in control and Drake was just the vehicle being used. I do think, while Drake wanted Venom back under his control it was the fact Riot who demanded Venom to return to the homeworld that made it seem like Riot was the true villain of the movie.

I am actually glad they killed both Drake and Riot at the end of the movie, usually in Marvel movies it does annoy me they can’t keep a villain longer than a movie but both Drake and Riot had served their purpose so it was time for them to go.

Dora Skirth:

This role was interesting because, at first, her role plays a lot like Nebula in the first Guardians of the Galaxy in that she is the somewhat loyal right-hand of the main villain, there Ronan here Drake. However the fact they did not show any true villainous qualities in Dr. Skirth’s character and instead just made her a scientist who knows when she oversteps natural boundaries was a very fleshed out character.

It is also interesting that most of the background characters in this movie are created for the movie yet still managed to make an impression. I do feel her character was very believable in terms of working for the villain but trying to go behind his back to the movie’s hero is a real-life thing of working for someone you know is corrupt but being too scared of what may happen if they find out you’re trying to stitch them up.

Dr. Dan Lewis:

Alright so I have made it sound like I am not a fan of this character but that is only really in relation to him getting in the way of Eddie and Anne. I know in the comics the two are exes but I wanted to see more of them together in the movie.

I will say I did like that, once he got his head around the situation, he was ready to fight the symbiote by using the MRI machine. Granted it was not in a concealed room and Venom escaped through the air vent but it was still a very cool scene watching Eddie and Venom be separated.

I know he is still with Anne at the end of the movie but especially after that kiss between Eddie/Venom/Anne you would think she would have at least told him because in his defense he does seem like a cool guy, he’s okay with Eddie as Anne’s ex still hanging around so he may be understanding of the situation?

Mrs. Chen:

I just wanted to give a quick shoutout to my favourite minor character Mrs. Chen who owned the bodega Eddie frequented. Not only did she remind me of Delmar who owns the grocers in Spider-Man: Homecoming in terms of how the movie’s main character interacted with them, but also she was not shy to say her piece.

I also liked the fact that, even though we knew it was coming from the trailers, that scene of Eddie/Venom eating that thug at the end was foreshadowed towards the start of the film.

Ensemble:

Then in terms of the others, really there’s only the Life Foundation’s head of security and Donna Diego but while they both made an impression they didn’t take away from the main characters, if anything they aided them which is the right role to be in.

Post-Credits:

So there are two end-credits scenes that play after the most god-awful rap by Eminem I’ve ever heard, the first is relevant to the movie and the second is the big waste of time they make you sit through the entirety of the credits for. I have issues with both but for different reasons.

The mid-credits scene shows Eddie arriving at San Quentin Prison for an interview, the best thing about this is San Quentin Prison is the same prison Scott Lang was released from in the first Ant-Man movie. But he is there to do an interview with none other than Cletus Kassidy who in the comics is the first host of Carnage.

Now I had named who I thought would be great for this role during my fan-casting frenzy for Sony’s Universe of Marvel Character...but with the three suggestions I put forward, none of them were Woody Harrelson. I am not happy with this reveal, yes I knew Harrelson was cast in the movie but had no idea it was in this role. Not only is Harrelson 16 years older than Hardy so playing Carnage who is supposedly Venom’s “son” seems weird, but also that blood red wig, while fitting for the character, looked ridiculous on Woody Harrelson. I still think they should have gone with Will Poulter, but hopefully Woody Harrelson will surprise me in the sequel, I do still like the actor I just don’t think he’s the right fit.

The very end-credits scene is a promo for Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse which has no relevance to this movie what so ever other than the fact they’re both Spider-Man related. I just think this was a bad PR stunt to have a movie that is already being hated by some people immediately followed by an upcoming movie debuting Miles Morales...why not just have a trailer at the start of the movie? It still looked good and showed how Miles Morales meets Peter Parker but I do not understand why they showed it.

Overall I have to say this was a good Venom movie but not a great one and also I do think the 90s/naughties comparisons are apt as the movie does have that feel, but that isn’t a bad thing when you’re talking about a PG-13/12a rated movie about a supervillain who is known to eat people. Give it the higher rating and you may get what you want.

So that’s my spoiler review of Venom, again sorry for the delay but I am still curious how you guys feel about the movie. I am aware this movie has divided a lot of people but I for one would welcome more of Tom Hardy and this movie. Post your comments and check out more Marvel Movie Reviews as well as other Movie Reviews and posts.

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jondalars · 6 years ago

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movies, tv shows, and books of 2019

((as before, * is a rewatch/reread; currently watching; can’t get through))

The Man in High Castle (s1)

Uprooted by Naomi Novik

Derry Girls (s1, s2)

A Series of Unfortunate Events (s3)

Zone One by Colson Whitehead

The Good Place (s3, s4)

A Simple Favor (2018)

You (s1 & *, s2)

The Woman in White by Wilkie Collins

Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik

No County for Old Men by Cormac McCarthy

The Other Boleyn Girl (2008) *

The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story (s2)

Nox by Anne Carson

FYRE: The Greatest Party That Never Happened (2019)

Picnic at Hanging Rock (s1)

Law & Order: SVU (s1, s6, s7, s19)

The Word by Irving Wallace

Abducted in Plain Sight (2017)

The Magicians (s4)

Roswell, New Mexico (s1)

Super Sad True Love Story by Gary Shteyngart

Sharks in the Rivers by Ada Limon

Antigone by Sophokles trans. Anne Carson

Dangerous Beauty (1998)

Swiss Army Man (2016) *

Bright Dead Things by Ada Limon

Then We Came to the End by Joshua Ferris

Velvet Buzzsaw (2019)

The Lobster (2015) *

Damsel (2018)

Eros: The Bittersweet by Anne Carson

Surrogates (2009)

The Umbrella Academy (s1 & *)

Maine (2018)

The Bear and the Nightingale by Katherine Arden

Misfits (s1*, s2*)

The Favourite (2018)

Mary Queen of Scots (2018)

We the Living by Ayn Rand

The Inbetweeners (s1*, s2*, s3*)

Persuasion (2007)

Persuasion (1995)

Plainwater: Essays and Poetry by Anne Carson

My Best Friend’s Wedding (1997) *

Troubling a Star by Madeleine L’Engle

Queer Eye (s3, s4)

Inherent Vice (2014)

Schitt’s Creek (s1, s2, s3, s4, s5)

Dead in a Week (Or Your Money Back) (2018)

Short Term 12 (2013) *

Saint Joan of Arc by Vita Sackville-West

Manchester by the Sea (2016) *

Isn’t It Romantic (2019)

Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead *

Love & Friendship (2016) *

Mother! (2017)

Colette (2018)

Anthem by Ayn Rand

The OA (s1*, s2)

Frostbite by Richelle Mead *

Game of Thones (s8)

The Case Against Adnan Syed (s1)

The Odyssey by Homer trans. Emily Wilson

Sula / Song of Solomon / Tar Baby by Toni Morrison

The Kings of Summer (2013)

Cherrybomb (2009)

Zimna wojna (2018)

Shadow Kiss by Richelle Mead *

Roswell (s1*, s2*)

Homecoming (2019)

Taylor Swift: Reputation Stadium Tour (2018)

Gerald’s Game (2017)

Blood Promise by Richelle Mead *

Wine Country 2019

Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile (2019)

mid90s (2018)

The Yellow Handkerchief (2008)

Beautiful Boy (2018)

Zombieland (2009) *

What If (2013) *

Death at a Funeral (2007)

The Society (s1)

The End of the F***ing World (s1*, s2)

Pride and Prejudice (1980)

The Crystal Castle by Mary Stewart

Fleabag (s1 & *, s2 & **)

Train to Busan (2016) *

The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood *

John Wick (2014)

John Wick Chapter 2 (2017)

Spirit Bound by Richelle Mead *

Chernobyl (s1)

What We Do in the Shadows (s1)

Game Over, Man (2018)

Young Adult (2011) *

Welcome to the Rileys (2010) *

Nausea by Jean-Paul Sartre

Dead to Me (s1)

Always be my Maybe (2019)

When They See Us (s1)

The Perfection (2018)

Good Omens (s1)

Chasing Happiness (2019)

Black Mirror (s5)

What a Girl Wants (2003) *

Ali Wong: Baby Cobra (2016)

Ali Wong: Hard Knock Wife (2018)

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson (s1 & *)

The Americans (s1, s2, s3, s4, s5, s6)

Murder Mystery (2019)

Somewhere in Time (1980)

Killing Eve (s2)

The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood *

Semiosis by Sue Burke

District 9 (2009) *

Oprah Winfrey Presents: When They See Us Now (2019)

The Sixth Extinction: An Unnatural History by Elizabeth Kolbert

The Box (2009)

Russian Doll (s1)

The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand

Knowing (2009)

The Hate U Give (2018)

The Case of the General’s Thumb by Andrey Kurkov

The Power by Naomi Alderman

Minority Report (2002) *

Bad Times at the El Royale (2018)

Airplane! (1980) *

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)

Swiped (2018)

Scare Tactics (s4)

The Week Of (2018)

The New Romantic (2018)

The Immortalists by Chloe Benjamin

The Kissing Booth (2018)

The Name of the Star by Maureen Johnson

Dark (s1*, s2)

Love, Rosie (2014) *

Suite Francaise (2014) *

P.S. I Love You (2007)

The Jane Austen Book Club (2007)

5 to 7 (2014)

Man Up (2015) *

The Clapper (2017)

Laggies (2014)

Penelope (2006) *

Little Italy (2018)

The Brothers Bloom (2008) *

Secret Obsession (2019)

What Happened to Monday (2017)

Full Fathom Five by Max Gladstone

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson

Battlestar Galactica (s1*, s2*, s3*)

A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess *

Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger *

What the Living Do by Marie Howe *

The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera *

Vile Bodies by Evelyn Waugh

Players by Don DeLillo

The Spy Who Dumped Me (2018)

Crashing (s1 & *)

Booksmart (2019)

Us (2019)

John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum (2019)

High Life (2019)

Stalker (1979)

The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater *

Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison

Skins (s1*, s2*, s3*, s4*, s5*, s6, s7*)

Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore by Robin Sloan

Plus One (2019)

Compliance (2012)

Love Alarm (s1)

Suicide Room (2011)

The Dream Thieves by Maggie Stiefvater *

A Failed Performance: Short Plays & Scenes by Daniil Kharms trans. C Dylan Bassett and Emma Winsor Wood

The Boys (s1 & *)

Cassandra: A Novel and Four Essays by Christa Wolf

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society (2018)

Woman on the Edge of Time by Marge Piercy

Well-Intended Love (s1)

Blue Lily, Lily Blue by Maggie Stiefvater *

1983 (s1)

Abyss (s1)

Twilight by Stephenie Meyer *

The Goldfinch (2019)

We Have Always Lived in the Castle (2019)

The I-Land (s1)

The Good Earth by Pearl S Buck

Hemlock Grove (s1*, s2*, s3)

Midsommar (2019)

Warm Bodies (2013) *

Submarine (2010) *

The Raven King by Maggie Stiefvater *

Tess of the d’Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy *

Black Light by Kimberly King Parsons

When Death Takes Something from You Give It Back: Carl's Book by Naja Marie Aidt

The Memory Police by Yoko Ogawa

We Cast a Shadow by Maurice Carlos Ruffin

After (2019)

Unbelievable (s1)

Sanditon (s1)

American Spy by Lauren Wilkinson

Some Freaks (2016)

The Last Czars (s1)

I Am Not an Easy Man (2018)

The Politician (s1)

Austenland (2013) *

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen *

Tall Girl (2019)

Superbad (2007) *

When We First Met (2018) *

Newness (2017)

Persuasion by Jane Austen *

Jenny Slate: Stage Fright (2019)

Charmed (s1*, s2*)

New Moon by Stephenie Meyer *

Will and Testament by Vigdis Hjorth

Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez *

The King (2019)

The Crow (1994)

American History X (1998)

Brothers (2009) *

Let It Snow (2019)

Fire in Paradise (2019)

The Knight Before Christmas (2019)

The Great British Baking Show (s7)

Golden State by Ben H. Winters

A Doll’s House by Henrik Ibsen

Jiro Dreams of Sushi (2011)

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte *

Dangerous Liaisons (1988)

His Dark Materials (s1)

Les affames (2017)

The Cell (2000)

Voices from Chernobyl: The Oral History of a Nuclear Disaster by Svetlana Alexievich

Boy Erased (2018)

Die Velle (2008)

Harold and Maude (1971) *

Late Night (2019)

The Report (2019)

Annihilation (2018) *

A Bigger Splash (2015)

Like Crazy (2011) *

A Dangerous Method (2011)

Severance by Ling Ma

Parasite (2019)

Illness as Metaphor by Susan Sontag

Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes

American Psycho (2000) *

Marriage Story (2019)

The Moviegoer by Walker Percy

Bojack Horseman (s6)

Knives Out (2019)

Miss Stevens (2016) *

Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand

Reading Lolita in Tehran: A Memoir in Books by Azar Nafisi

Ночной Дозор (2004)

My Suicide (2009)

The Witcher (s1)

Life with Jeeves by P.G. Wodehouse

Strip Search (2004)

The Miseducation of Cameron Post (2018)

Look Away (2019)

Sucker Punch (2011)

Galaxy Quest (1999) *

Mystery Men (1999) *

Russian Ark (2002)

One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn *

The Dirt (2019)

Eugene Onegin by Alexander Pushkin

Almost Famous (2000) *

Rocket Science (2007)

#here we go again #2019 #personal #the word... lmao why do i do this to myself #him saying ilu after 1 day????? hahaaa #rly liked maine #we the living... f*ck #if youre still alive and if you dont forget!!!!#i like.. sort of think ive read troubling a star before cause it was just barely familiar somehow but it mustve been like over 15 years ago #if ever so.. no asterisk for it i guess #geralds game was actually scary lmao and now its 11 pm and i gotta somehow sleep to go to work tomorrow??#s2 of fleabag !!!!!! woof #lmao the week of rly made me cry??? yoinks #no clue what is ever happening in dark but.. i like it #little italy was SO MUCH WORSE than i thought i was gonna be #like not even enjoyable...#listen.... sr was not good but that kiss?? lmaoo woooooooof #well intended love is... so much lmao but im loving it #don quixote is sooo long #say what you want about ayn rand but uhhhh her men are v sexy

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straydog733 · 6 years ago

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Watching Resolution: “Period. End of Sentence”, “Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse” and “Isn’t It Romantic”

6. A documentary: Period. End of Sentence. (2018)

4. An animated film: Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse (2018)

12. A film released in 2019: Isn’t It Romantic (2019)

List Progress: 5/12

I have been on a movie binge recently, maybe the Oscars got into my head, so here is a mass of mini-reviews for movies I have seen in the last week.

Period. End of Sentence. (2018)

Between a pun-title and a topic that I am very interested in, Period. End of Sentence. caught my eye even before it won the Academy Award for “Best Short Documentary” this year. At twenty-five minutes, this film scratches the surface of the taboo around menstruation in India. It tells the story of a group of women that are manufacturing affordable disposable pads and selling them in areas that are otherwise underserved in terms of menstrual care, as well as discussing the deep shame associated with menstruation and how it can be a barrier for young women’s educations. By necessity at this length, there is not a huge amount of depth, but what is there feels richly displayed. It didn’t shake my world, but I was glad to see these Indian women getting to tell their stories of how their own communities are helping themselves and each other. A nice solid documentary about a solid topic.

Would I Recommend It: Yes.

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)

Ooooooh man this movie is good. This film definitely lived up to the hype (and the Oscar) in my mind. I saw it on a Thursday matinee with two other people in the audience, but this display of beautiful animation should definitely be seen on the big screen if possible. These are some stunning stylized visuals to pair with a great story that shows a lot of respect and love for the legacy it represents.

The last Marvel Cinematic Universe movie I saw was Guardians of the Galaxy in 2014. (In other Marvel products, I also saw Venom last year, but that was largely because of a Tom Hardy crush.) My point is, I have long since become numb to live actions superhero movies that throw giant CGI fights together with flimsy premises and no real eye to making the images on the screen beautiful or composed. I know I have probably missed some great movies in that time, but I just got burned out on it. Into the Spider-Verse, in contrast, feels like there was not just time, but care and love put into every frame on screen. There was a feeling that this was a story someone had to tell, that there was a passion to put this together in the best way possible.

I don’t feel like I can say much that hasn’t been said elsewhere, but I would highly recommend anyone with an even passing interest to see this movie while it is still in theaters post-Oscar. It will be worth your time.

Would I Recommend It: Spider-yes.

Isn’t It Romantic (2019)

Effective parodies are hard. Effective deconstructions are hard. At the best, you bring insight into something, and make a piece that both the fans and the critics of the original can enjoy. At the worst, you recreate the original while blowing a raspberry. Isn’t It Romantic falls kind of in the middle of these two extremes, and ends up merely okay as a result.

Rebel Wilson plays a bitter woman in a job where she’s ignored, and she hates romantic comedies with their trite tropes and happy endings. After hitting her head in the subway, she wakes up in a world that seems to work entirely on those rom-com tropes: her apartment is resplendent for her income, New York City smells like lavender and sunshine instead of piss, emergency room doctors are hot and flirtatious, and meet-cutes are waiting around every corner. The aspects on the periphery of the concept are the ones that I enjoy the most, the aesthetic and acting choices and the like. It’s the main core of the plot, her coming to realize her Work Friend Guy is actually her Meant To Be Love, that falls a lot flatter for me. Yes, it’s a parody, but the movie also recreates these type of plots beat-for-beat, so there’s not much more for me to enjoy about seeing a trope I already don’t like repackaged. At the end of the day, Isn’t It Romantic has a lot to say about the trappings and decorations of romantic comedies, but doesn’t actually have much insight into the meat of the genre.

Would I Recommend It: Ehhhh, if you feel like it, there’s nothing actively bad, but not my cup of tea.

#straydog's watching resolution #spiderman: into the spiderverse #period. end of sentence.#isn't it romantic

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awfully-sadistic · 6 years ago

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Wanted

As usual, taking some liberties with my interpretation of characters. I hope it’s okay even if some of the details are... bent... to fit what I am trying to convey.

It was a funny thing to be thrust into the spotlight. You’re so popular, you’re suddenly wanted everywhere.

No. Wait. Let me take that back; It’s honesty horrible.

I am Spider-Noir. Peter Parker to those who know my identity which, let me tell you, has been an awful lot of people lately. That part doesn’t bother me. People I know and care for knowing who I am? Those very same people that understand the responsibility I have to shoulder? They’re great for the support.

What worries me are the avid fans I seem to be accumulating. But that’s not a new thing in New Senzannini. Superheroes and yes, even villains, have their own... fanbase.

I don’t understand it and I don’t think I ever will. I’m just regular ol’ Peter Parker. I grew up during the Great Depression and true to its name, everything about it was as depressing. That time period is a dark place and I cannot understand why anyone seems to glorify anything from that era and before that. But there’s probably a reason.

I recently saw a movie depicting myself and it was almost surreal. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed it. It was light-hearted, funny, and even had a nice message.

But me? I don’t get nice messages. The last “message” I got was my Uncle Ben, his mutilated body almost unrecognizable to me, tortured to death just for standing up for what he believed in.

I was almost a joke. Rubik cubes? Egg creams? Nicholas Cage? I don’t even sound like that.

Rubik cubes were something new. Never seen a nifty little toy like that before because, hello, it’s the Great Depression. What else am I going to do for entertainment? And egg creams are occasionally good just like how Dot Dreadful seems to enjoy her chocolate milk. She doesn’t drink it all the time, right? It’s a nice treat. I also enjoy a nice treat. And if I’m not careful, Spider-Noir is going to be synonymous with these things just like Wade Wilson and chimichangas, whatever those are. People take that way too far, Gwen has said the phenomenon was a meme. I was a meme.

Do you know what I like to do in my spare time? I like to head down to Felicia Hardy’s place and have myself a whiskey so I can get through another day. From there, I study my notes, my next plan of action. I like to find how I can nail the bastards that killed my uncle. But taking down crooks who work in an even more crooked government is hard work. Almost impossible.

I don’t think people really know me. I am not just “punching nazis” in my time. I was angry. I still am. People believe I see in black and white but I see in color. It’s like Noir has to be black and white but let me tell you that the world is not that simple.

However, despite not being in that era anymore, I’ve seen a lot of stuff happen. And a lot of stuff has happened to me. It’s hard to work out that anger, this... sadness. Ironically, this depression.

Wanted? This stardom has thrust me into something I don’t want. It’s put me in an awkward light where the only one I do want is slowly wanting nothing to do with me.

It’s horrible. It’s a curse. I didn’t ask for this but I’m dealing with it in the one way I know how: terribly.

“Damn, I don’t see you in here often, Pete. What have you done?”

Spider-Noir looked up, confused. He had been here for a couple of hours and Logan had been here right alongside with him. It was the curse of being popular. “Here” was the infamous Corner--which was a room itself since Dot couldn’t literally put faces to corners; there were only four of them and there were a lot of people who belonged in this room.

But it wasn’t Noir that had been addressed. The other Peter Parker took a seat next to himself, leaning heavily against his brethren with a forlorn sigh.

“I didn’t do anything,” the other Peter spoke up. The 616 version. He continued, “Wade did and once Dot finds that out, she’s going to come get me.”

Logan scoffed, “You sound like a princess waiting to be rescued.”

“Yeah, well, if it’s Dot, I don’t mind. Besides, who do you think is going to suffer when Wade’s put into this room?”

Logan dropped his cigar on himself and released a string of curses as the hot ash splattered on the front of his shirt. It didn’t burn him. The prospect of being stuck in a room with Wade never bode well for anyone. Peter grinned, looking quite pleased with himself before turning his attention to Noir.

“Hey Twin, are you still in here for being popular?”

“Yep.”

“Don’t worry, it’ll die down eventually. I had to do my own stint in here when my movies popped up. Or whenever comic Peter decided to do something stupid--and he did a lot of stupid things. Did you know comic Peter has a sister?”

“Did you know I had an uncle?”

Peter looked horrified before he replied, “You have a sick sense of humor.”

“I get it from you.”

The both of them looked at each other and then laughed. Logan groaned from the background. If there was anything worse than one Peter, it was two who thought they were funny.

“Why don’t you two get a room?”

“Technically, we’re already in one.” Peter quipped.

“And we outnumber you.” Noir tacked on.

Logan’s claws came out with a SNIKT and both Peters quieted down immediately. After a while of silence and because neither Peters could stay quiet for too long, Noir spoke up.

“So, what did that red guy do?”

Peter’s expression grew deadpanned. Both Peter and Noir looked alike; messy brown hair, hazel eyes, all the way down to the bone structure. Except 616 Peter was a little scruffy and Noir wore round, circular glasses which made him look even nerdier than usual. And they looked nothing like the adaptation in the Spider-Verse movie meaning Peter’s nose wasn’t broken and Noir wasn’t as Nicholas Cage-y. That was just another liberty, obviously. Noir was just a moodier, more reckless version of 616 Peter but just as sarcastic and lacked the self-esteem. So, as one can imagine, they got along... very well. So it was like looking in a mirror for Noir as he watched himself twist expressions while trying to recall the incident.

“Johnny thinks I stood him up and I didn’t get the chance to explain that it was Wade who prevented me from meeting him. I mean, I didn’t push to explain myself. But I wouldn’t leave Johnny standing in front of the Haus for three hours without a good reason! But Dot found out because word spread that he had been just standing there and comic Peter had been doing a greeeeeat job on making us look like a jackass. So, I guess she went to ask and got that story out of him. It certainly made me look bad.”

“I’m surprised Storm waited that long.” Noir said.

“You know, me too.” Peter grumbled, looking awfully guilty. He felt incredibly bad for having Johnny wait that long. That was his best friend after all and Johnny did so much for him. “Before I knew it, Dot was texting me to go wait in the Corner. Knowing what that was all about, I just went because I figured it would be better if it came out that Wade was the real reason I didn’t show up. Then Dot will feel really bad for me and...” Peter trailed off and it went unsaid that Dot would have showered him with affection for the misunderstanding. It wasn’t Dot’s fault that this was a thing, either. Sometimes scenarios played out like this so others would cheat their way to earning brownie points or even a chance to be treated especially well by her. She was wanted by every damn person in the Haus so one would have to play dirty to be treated special.

Peter’s plan was perhaps a little harebrained apparent by the sad shake of the Wolverine’s head in the background, having to listen to this. Noir, however, was 100% behind this plan.

“You should act super dejected, too.”

“Ohhh, twin! That’s a good one.”

“I bet she goes crazy with the puppy dog look.”

“Yeah, that’s also great. Keep it coming...” Peter said while jotting down the suggestions in his notepad. Once he saw that Cap had one, all of a sudden Peter Parker did, too. And it helped a lot when he wrote down jokes he thought of and usually quipped when he was alone and no one else was listening. His notepad even had a title: For a Rainy Day.

“Don’t want to guilt trip her that much, though. She’ll start to get suspicious if you lay it on thick.” Noir continued, looking over Peter’s notebook. It shouldn’t be said that Noir even had his own. But he usually cited “private eye business” despite Jessica Jones stating she never had one for hers.

“How about you two knuckleheads write in how stupid this all sounds.”

Peter stopped writing and the both of them eerily turned their heads towards Logan. He didn’t want to admit it but even that put him off a little.

“...What?” he asked, gruffly.

“Sorry we’re not all born with your amazing rough exterior, commanding presence, and stunted emotional depth. Some of us have to work harder than others.” Peter pointed out with his pen. Noir was nodding in support.

Logan rolled his eyes and went back to scrolling through his phone from his stretched out position in a hammock before he really was tempted to slice and dice everyone’s favorite quippy nerd. He’d just tone out the two dorks in the corner while he let this happen to him.

Peter looked over at Noir at this point, asking, “When are you going to use those puppy eyes on Dot? You’ve been in this corner since ...well, since everyone started to pit the two of us together.”

Noir shrugged; he wanted it to seem nonchalant since he wasn’t too bothered by the fact that he was in the Corner. It was peaceful than the alternative. But the fact that he was in the Corner because Dot’s image of him was slowly souring seemingly killed him inside. His brows furrowed in the middle, scrunching up the Parker expression with a contemplative look. “I thought I’d let her come to terms with it in her own way. If I try to force her, I think she’ll end up hating me even more.”

Peter tsk’ed, holding up a finger as he slung his other arm around his twin. “Lemme tell you something, uh, me. God, this is so weird when I’m not talking to my younger self...”

“It’s even weird you have a younger self.”

“I mean, there’s a lot of us so maybe it’s not that weird after all?”

“You have a point, me.”

“Thanks, me. You’re as smart as you are handsome.”

“If you two don’t fucking knock it off, I’m going to knock the both of ya heads off and place ‘em on the other’s body.”

Both Peters ignored Logan and Peter B. continued his train of thought. “If you play the nice guy role here, you’re really going to come in last.” Noir looked skeptical before Peter added, “I’m serious! I was nice when I came here. But now look at me,” he exclaims while holding up his notebook. “There are tons of schemes in here. Schemes!”

“You’re... still nice, Pete.” Noir told himself.

“...I don’t know about that, I think I have a little bit of a bad boy streak in me.” Peter said sulkily.

Logan scoffed from his spot. “Noir’s more edgy than you are.”

Noir looked happy about that. Peter, not so much.

“Neither are compliments,” Logan tacked on like an anvil that fell on Noir’s head. “You’re both still fuckin’ nerds.”

“Ouch,” Noir started.

“Our feelings.” Peter finished.

Logan finally shifted in his hammock, placing his long, sturdy legs over the side. His large upper-half sat crouched and he remained there, perched, while he stared over both Spider-Men. “For fuck’s sake.” he finally muttered like a disappointed parent. “You don’t need schemes. You’re a goddamn hero.”

“Wade plays dirty, Lo.”

“Don’t I know it. Just cut through him a couple of times,” Logan said, giving advice that both Peters would not have taken. It was only Wolverine advice Logan would ever use. “That’ll shut him up.”

“...That’s...” Noir struggled to find the right words.

“Pretty mean.” Peter supplied.

“I thought you were a bad boy, Pete.”

“...I can be,” he argued. “When I feel like it.”

“Sure.” Logan said in a way that made Peter bristle.

He sat up a little straighter and his tone pitched a slight whine. “I can be! Logan. Look at me. Hey, Logan.”

Logan was in the middle of lighting another cigar when he finally looked at Peter. Then, he pointed his cigar at the webslinger. “If you have to beg me to prove your point, you’re probably not cut out for this bad boy role.”

Noir gave Peter a pat on the back. “That’s alright, me. I can be edgy enough for the both of us.” There was a slight pause before Noir asked, “That’s a good thing, right? Edgy? That means what I think it means?”

“Yes.” / “No.” Peter and Logan said at the same time. The two merely stared at each other for a while before Peter spoke up again, giving Noir another nod. “Yes, yes it does. Logan doesn’t want to admit that he gave you a compliment because he’s out of touch with his feelings.”

Logan grunted. “Watch it, bub.”

“Thanks, Logan.”

“Whatever.” The Wolverine figured it was easier to go back to ignoring the two instead of trying to keep up with their strange, delusional conversation. If Peter and Noir wanted to believe they were as bad as they thought, he’d let them. It’d be amusing when they’d come to find out otherwise.

“You should try a stronger hand with her,” Peter said, bringing the conversation back to its heart. “You know as well as I do that she likes to be forced, sometimes.” Peter looked mildly embarrassed about that tidbit and a finger came up to bashfully scratch at the rough stubble covering his jawline. “Even I admit to getting a little forceful because... it’s really hard sharing her attention. I’ve had her webbed to the bed once because she was going out to see Otto... and you know about my webbing. She didn’t get out of it for hours. She was understandably not happy about that but... she didn’t see Otto, did she?”

Noir’s gaze widened from behind round glasses. “Maybe I ought to write that down, too.”

Peter laughed, “...Believe me, you’ll just act on it.”

“It’s okay to do these things?”

Peter looked conflicted. He obviously knew right from wrong and from the way he’s staunchly lived his life before, this was pretty hard to answer because then he’d end up sounding like a hypocrite. “...I mean, no... it’s not right but... it’s Dot. Rhyme or reason just doesn’t... apply here. I’ve found myself doing things I’ve never thought I’d do. Change my mind on things I never thought I’d budge on. It’s... different here.”

There was a moment of silence as the two Peters thought this over. Both so alike yet raised in different times and environments and backgrounds. If Peter could start toeing the line between his beliefs just for Dot, Noir thought he would also find himself doing the same. She certainly does make one question a lot. He never put much stock in changing out of love, or rather, he never understood that sentiment. How did the saying even go? Love changes people? Yeah. That. He was certain Peter would have felt the same before Dot. But now? Noir’s sure Peter has done some strange things out of desperation in her name and he couldn’t blame him. He also felt tempted to cross that line if only to step out of this Corner business, grab Dot by the shoulders and shake her, make her understand. Make her love him. Make her want him.

He shook his head free of these thoughts, for now. Instead, he replied with, “I think I understand.”

Peter gave Noir a supportive pat on the back. “Good. This has been a nice talk, huh?”

Noir gave Peter a genuine smile, “Yeah.”

The door opened and everyone’s eyes shifted at the movement. Dot slowly poked her head inside, looking a little sheepish. “Um...” she gazed at the faces, surprised to actually see anyone besides Peter in the room. “...Wait, what are you guys doing in here? I only sent Peter to the Corner today...”

Noir spoke up with a clearing of his throat, sounding like the usual Peter awkwardness. “I’m staying in the Corner until my popularity winds down.” He didn’t want to chance anything tipping the delicate balance where he might find himself thrown outside the Haus along with the riff raff at the front gates, still trying to get inside.

Dot looked taken aback. Slowly, the rest of her came into view as she started to walk in and settled the door closed behind her with a soft click.

“Noir...” she floundered for a bit because while there was the very real disturbance of his popularity spiraling out of hand, she knew he really had no hand in that. A major factor of the whole problem was seeing other people compare both Noir and Peter and yet, tear down Peter while hoisting Noir on a pedestal. It hurt to see that especially since she loved Peter in all of his incarnations, but she couldn’t help having a strong reaction to it. But she didn’t hate Noir. She felt bad, looking a little perturbed at the initiative he had shown by putting himself in the corner. “Love,” she put delicately with the emphasis on the term of endearment. She noted the way Noir seemed to sit up straighter at it. “I’m not punishing you over anything. I’m... I may be a little vocal about how everyone’s treating you and Peter but... that doesn’t mean I’m upset with you. It was never meant to be taken seriously, I’m sorry--”

“No, don’t do that.” Noir stood up and seemingly crossed the expanse of the Corner in one long stride. It took Dot wholly off-guard that she gently bumped into the door. Even Peter looked surprised, looking at the spot where Noir had been to where he was now.

“Do you have super spider speed, too, or what?” he asked, perplexed. Much like most of his quips, it went unheard. “Because that’s not fair.”

“Don’t... don’t do that.” Noir had all of Dot’s attention standing in her personal space, hesitant at first but finally taking her hands in his and giving them a squeeze that matched the almost pleading tone in his voice.

Dot swallowed dryly, having to crane her head back to get a better look at him. For some reason, Noir was taller than Peter? He was at least a head taller than his “twin” and boasted broader shoulders and a more thicker physique that she had assumed was mostly the trench coat. But he didn’t have one on. Noir dressed like he was still in the 1930′s when he went without his trench coat and Spider-costume. Right now, he was in a white button-up dress shirt, a vest, and slacks. It certainly catered to that nerdy aspect all Peter Parkers were known for. And Peter seemingly came in all shapes and sizes--if Peter Porker wasn’t proof enough. This was just the first time Dot had the thought force itself to the forefront of her mind.

“D-Do what?” Dot asked. She tried to seem unfazed by the close proximity but this was still Peter. It seemed in any incarnation, he was able to fluster her (even) sometimes.

“Apologize,” Noir frowned, unaware of the affect he had on her. This meant he still stood in her space, still held onto her hand afraid that she might pull it away at any second; his grip tightened that he hadn’t noticed. But Dot had. “It’s not your fault. I understand. I get upset hearing about people pit Peter and myself against each other, too.”

“Yeah, what’s up with that?” Peter asked from the background.

“If I could, I would have all of them stop. The last thing I want is Peter to get a bad reputation from all this.”

“Eh, I’m used to it.”

“So, I understand your feelings. I have them, too. That’s why I’m putting myself in the Corner so you don’t have to. So you can have the time you need to heal from all this booshwash and when you can decide when it’s okay to move on.”

“Whoa, your age is showing, Noir.”

Despite Peter’s commentary, Dot stared up at Noir, her heart squeezing at the desperate look on his face. She saw Peter but it was like she was seeing Noir for the first time. Like the shatter of glass, the illusion she had of him, the impression that had been circulating around nearly every social media outlet cracked. That wasn’t Noir. Noir was here, with her. Noir was her good boy, just like Peter was.

She smiled, no, beamed, at him gently pulling one of her hands away from his hands just so she can stretch up and rest it on his cheek. She noticed the way he responded immediately, closing his eyes and resting against the palm of her hand. “Thank you for explaining this to me, sweetheart. Now that I know what you’re doing, I want to reassure you that you don’t have to. I think... this just took me by surprise. Everyone always has something to say about Peter, I should be used to it--”

“Honestly, me too.”

Dot stopped talking and finally gave Peter her attention. “Honey. I swear to god.” but she was laughing. She hadn’t missed his commentary but she couldn’t NOT acknowledge it anymore. She returned her attention to Noir who had his eyes open again, searching Dot’s face as if trying to guess what she was going to say next. She picked up her smile and continued.

“I should be used to it and sometimes I even anticipate it but since I love Peter--since I love all of you guys--so much, I don’t know how to handle it ...better, sometimes. I ignore it, I push it away. I don’t want to have anything to do with it until I feel it’s safe for me to come back and pick up the pieces after everyone’s finished... abusing it. But what I should have been doing is protecting it.”

Noir had a soft expression on his face. There was no mistaking that he was his own person who had his own experiences and hardships even if he shared some of Peter’s features. It was actually tough to imagine this Noir the same as the one that has been circulating around.

“No one blames you for coping how you must. I’m sure it’s hard to have to be subjected to people’s opinions about us. It’s rough listening to people say Peter is a bad person or isn’t as good as the other Spider-people when... most of us share the same traits with him. It’s kind of insulting to us at the same time.”

“I know, love.” Dot reassured. “It’s nice that you guys stick together.” If she hadn’t seen both Noir and Peter hanging out as much as they did and be as supportive to each other versus what everyone says about the two, things probably would have turned out differently. Luckily, she wasn’t at that point where she had to push anyone away.

“But you don’t have to go to the Corner to ...punish yourself. Honestly, this place is for things people have done wrong, things that have already happened by your own hand. I put popular people in here more like a joke--” she paused as she realized something again. “Yeah, um, Logan. Why are you in here?”

Everyone shifted their gaze to Logan now. He had been trying to look as if he wasn’t paying attention. But now that the attention was on him, it was obvious he had been.

“Wait, he’s not supposed to be in here?” Peter asked. Dot shook her head and once again, there was another lapse of silence.

“What? Can’t I just be in here?” he asked with a gruff tone reminiscent of the gruff exterior he always boasted.

Dot perked an eyebrow.

“...I might have done something.”

Dot sighed heavily. Peter and Noir all of a sudden looked really interested. The big bad Wolverine was admitting he did something wrong? AND voluntarily checked himself into the Corner? Wooooow. Peter couldn’t keep the gleeful look off his face.

“What’d you do, Logan?” Peter asked, cozying up to the grouchy looking mutant. There was no regard for his safety as if Logan won’t push him off the hammock at any second.

“Nunya damn business.”

“Logan...” Dot warned using her disappointed Mom tone. She had dropped her hand but part of her refused to let go of Noir’s. Either for herself or Noir, she didn’t quite know but she was content on allowing herself to think she was doing it for him. To reassure him. But truthfully, it was reassuring to her as well.

“Babe.”

“Nah uh, don’t babe me. What did you do?”

Logan mumbled something as he looked away. Things that no one in the room caught... maybe perhaps Peter because he started to laugh, immediately.

“Oh! Man! I bet he looks ridiculous!”

“What?” Dot asked with a squinting gaze. “What did he say?”

Peter was too busy in semi-hysterics to even try to answer. Noir didn’t hear either but he might not have heard anything even if Logan had spoken clearly. Dot was willingly holding onto his hand and he was content to focus on that much. Logan, however, finally turned around to speak up.

“...I said I yanked Scott’s glasses off his head. He’s wanderin’ ‘round the Haus without ‘em on.”

Dot took a sharp intake of breath knowing she was going to have to deal with that. Helping Scott wasn’t the problem... not that there was a problem with Scott. The fact that as soon as he realized it was her, she was going to have a very separate “problem” on her hands. He was... awfully possessive and obsessively so. As soon as she snapped those red visors on his face again, he was going to be glued to her side. For now, she focused on the reason why Logan decided to act out.

“...Why?”

“Why not?”

“Golden,” Peter grinned, wiping his eyes. “Oh man. I wish I could see that.”

“Well, you might get your wish.” Dot sighed out. “Where are they, Logan?”

“Where are what? His glasses?”

“...Yes, love. His glasses.”

“...I’unno. Flung ‘em somewhere.”

Dot rubbed a hand over her face. She had an inkling it wasn’t going to be that easy as just handing them back to Scott. She knew Logan must have done something petty about it. She turned to Peter and Noir. “I was actually coming in to release you, Peter. Wade confessed. But now, can you help me find his glasses? Logan’s not leaving the Corner for the rest of the night.”

“Can I at least have my beer?”

“I don’t know Logan, can you?” Dot snapped back without much of a thought. She instantly regretted it as soon as she saw the darkening look on his face. “Y-You’re in trouble. You shouldn’t get anything.”

“Yeah, I came in here as a courtesy.”

Peter gasped, “You’re trying to earn brownie points with her too! What was all that “you’re a hero” business earlier then?!”

This time Logan did shove Peter off the hammock with one hand pushed at his face. Peter hit the ground all limbs and flailing with a semi-startled yelp. Dot didn’t even want to ask. Instead, she turned up to Noir.

“I guess it’s just going to be us then.”

Noir smiled and actually looked at ease for the first time... in a very long time, actually. “That’s perfectly fine. We can treat it like a case and retrace Logan’s steps.”

Dot looked interested in that. “Yeah? That sounds fun! I’m going to go borrow Jessica’s notebook--”

“Wait, she has a notebook?” Noir asked.

Dot nodded, wide-eyed. “Uh huh! She just got one and it’s nice and big.”

Both Noir and Peter looked offended, “She got a bigger notebook than us?!” they both said, weirding out Logan and making Dot double-take at the synchronicity.

“Can you guys not do that again?” Logan grumbled, laying back down in his hammock again. He put his arm over his face and figured he might as well catch up on some sleep. Peter was scrambling up to his feet, coming to stand besides both himself and Dot.

“We have to get bigger notebooks, too.”

Noir nodded in agreement but Dot looked skeptical.

“Why?”

“Because, sweetheart, it’s... just... it’s important.”

Again, Dot looked skeptical. “...because Jessica has a bigger notebook?”

Noir replied honestly, “Yes.”

Peter, however, replied differently.

“That’s definitely not the reason--Noir, you can’t just--You have to... Man, we have to work on that. You have to play it cool.”

Dot poked Peter in the chest. “I know for a fact you can’t keep anything cool. Remember that time Johnny told you a secret and what was the first thing you did?”

“...Told you?”

“Uh huh. Mr. Play-It-Cool.”

“But there’s no secrets between us,” Peter grinned, pressing his cheek against Dot’s and snaking an arm around her small, tiny tucked in waist. Dot was laughing as his gesture soon turned into affectionate nuzzles and small, butterfly kisses. Dot turned away because they tickled, still smiling, before her gaze landed on Noir.

“S-Stop taking notes!”

“...But Peter’s really cool right now.”

Peter straightened, his tone incredulous. “Really?!”

Dot rolled her eyes and the gesture seemed to match Logan’s groan in the background. She couldn’t help but give a little humorous laugh at the scene.

“Okay, Logan. When we find the glasses, you can come out.” She couldn’t help the good mood she found herself in and figured she might as well continue making it a good day. She watched as the larger man slowly started to stir again until he faced her and the Peters.

“In that case, I’ll help you find ‘em.”

“Then it looks like we’re on the case.” Noir stated.

“Yeah. Don’t say that.” Logan grunted as he finally stood up and straightened to his full height. His huge, bulky body was amplified by the imposing height he boasted as he stood towering over the three. He might be a Wolverine but he honestly reflected the scary big bad wolf tropes in fairy tales; he was all bark and bite. Dot found herself shrinking back and had the inward thought that Logan would have to put himself in the Corner considering she couldn’t quite commit to enforcing the act herself.

She also couldn’t tell Logan that he still had to serve out his time in the Corner for what he did to Scott so she “allowed” him to help. As the four of them piled out of the Corner, the door clicked shut behind them. For as much as she said she put people in the Corner and the fact that there was even a room designated for this, she really was glad when there wasn’t anyone in it.

It gave her a lot of comfort to know the room was almost always empty and that her loved ones were here, quite literally beside her.

#{{ original drabbles: dot's feb prompts

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smeemyselfandi · 6 years ago

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1. Isle of Dogs-Great animation, great characters and a great story. Just great great great.

2. Eighth Grade-One of the realest coming of age movies I have ever seen. I hated watching it cause it reminded me of my childhood which makes it great.

3. Hereditary-This isn't all the way horror but it's great when it's not horror and when it is

. 4. Roma-Great camera work. Some people say not much story but I felt for the characters more then most movies.

5. Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse-Great animation and the villians and spiders were all very fun.

6. Burning-A unpredictable thriller that kept me on the edge of my seat till the very end.

7. Won't You Be My Neighbor- Great tribute film for Mr. Rogers.

8. Avengers: Infinity War- The first half was kinda blah but the 2nd half was exciting and fun.

9. First Man- I wasn't feeling this movie all that much at the start but that ending man. Wow.

10. A Star is Born- Good acting and good story but felt a bit rushed at the start then slow around the end.

11. Sorry To Bother You- One of the weirdest movies I've seen but entertaining and a bit sad when you think about it.

12. Searching-I was expecting more emotion especially because of the that opening scene but it was still a fun mystery movie.

13. Annihilation- Yes the bear scene was great but the rest of the movie was good as well!

14. Suspiria- Just weird. I mean I loved some of it and also kinda was bored through some but still a good movie.

15. The Favourite- I was so ready to love this movie and while I still think it's good I was kinda disappointed in it.

16. Blackkklansman- Fun little detective movie. Nothing special but still fun.

17. Incredibles 2- I like this better than the first one and I didn't really care for the first one. This one had funner scenes and animation was much better.

18. Black Panther- The action scenes was fun and the characters were good but some of the choices they made in this movie was questionable.

19. Widows- Expected better considering who directed it and wrote it but it's still a fun action movie with some nice twists and turns.

20. Deadpool 2- All the characters were fun and entertaining except Deadpool. I found him kinda annoying.

21. Love, Simon- Nice movie that may help people come out which is a good thing.

22. The Tale- This was difficult movie to watch but important and I'm glad I watched it.

23. The Little Stranger- It's slow but interesting and haunting. I enjoyed it.

24. Boy Erased- Good acting but the editing was kinda weird.

25. Crazy Rich Asians- Just a feel good fun movie. You really root for the main character.

26. If Beale Street Could Talk- The main actress acting was pretty bad but besides that this movie was beautiful.

27. Mid90s- I mean this movie is the 90's but nothing else was special about it.

28. A Quiet Place- Can we stop pretending like this movie is some masterpiece? It's a fun horror movie that's all.

29. Can You Ever Forgive Me-Richard Grant was so good in this. So glad he got nominated.

30. Upgrade- The better venom movie but still isn't great.

31. Bohemian Rhapsody-The last scene makes up for the problems with the movie.

32. Green Book-This movie is cliche and so oscar baitey but the performances were great.

33. WildLife- Kinda boring but it's still pretty good. Parents need to get their crap together.

34. Suicide Squad: Hell To Pay- The best suicide Squad movie even though the storyline is pretty silly.

35. Aquaman- This movie was really fun! But it just kept going and going and going and goinggggggggggg

36. Andre The Giant- I liked it but I wish they would be truthful especially Hogan.

37. Robin Williams: Come Inside my Mind- Nice doc of Robin but nothing special.

38. Batman: Gotham by Gaslight- An interesting take for the Batman story that I kinda enjoyed.

39. Tag- I like this better than game night cause it was more fun and felt more real. Still not perfect thoug.

40. Game Night- It was good but not as funny as people say.

41. Paterno- Good acting by pachino and glad this story was told in movie form.

42. Christopher Robin-This movie was fine but expected more of a drama but it's more like a comedy except some parts.

43. The Death of Superman- Basically one big fight scene that was fun to watch.

44. Vice- Christian Bale acted his butt off but that's probably the only good thing about this film.

45. Ready Player One- It's a fun little movie with a god awful villian.

46. Mandy- It's pretty to look at but not much substance besides that.

47. Ant-Man and The Wasp- It's fine nothing special. Some fun gags and a neat villian.

48. Sicario: Day of the Soldado- The 2nd half of this film is a mess but still good acting and action scenes.

49. Beautiful Boy- This movie should have been way better than it was. It had good acting but the editing and directing was not so good.

50. Halloween- So many dumb moments in this movie. There were some great moments but I really hated the dumb moments.

51. Ralph Breaks the Internet- The first Wreck It Ralph had heart but this one was just a mess. It's like they only cared about making dumb jokes and memes and Gal Gadot was terrible in this.

52. Bipolar Rock 'N Roller- An okay doc but kinda forgettable. I'm glad they made it I just wish it was more interesting.

53. Blockers- It was kinda funny but just a forgettable comedy.

54. Batman Ninja-I didn't realize how dumb this movie was going to be. Still good animation though.

55. Pacific Rim: Uprising- If you liked the first one well this one takes a big crap on it but it does have some fun scenes.

56. To All The Boys I've Loved Before- Just a generic teen rom com. Nothing special what so ever.

57. Venom- Tom Hardy was fun and this was more venom than Spider-Man 3 venom but man it gets really bad at the end.

58. Farenheight 451- This movie tried really hard to pander to teens and it's just not good.

59. The House that Jack Built- This movie is not as smart as it think it is.

60. Rampage- I just wanted a dumb monster movie instead they try too hard to make a story. It's not terrible but not good.

61. The Strangers: Prey at Night- That one scene at the pool was soooooo good but everything else was pretty bad.

62. The Nun- How can you make such a scary character so boring and forgettable.

#Moviesof2018 Worstmovie Bestmovie

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