#I hate that I’m on my own all the time and yes my friends are being incredibly helpful and generous but it isn’t that
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Feel the Pulse Beat: Intro
Pairing: Old Money!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader
Summary: Bucky didn't want to go to Tony's club, but he'll be glad he did by the end of the night.
Word Count: Almost 2.3k
Warnings: Swearing, frenemy behavior, family issues, bit of world building, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?)
A/N: Oh, look, lovelies! A new AU no one asked for. ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @saradika-graphics . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
“Why am I even here?” Bucky asked, eying the neon sign for Extremis. The one and only Tony Stark owned the club. A mix of people in clothes that ranged from expensive suits to revealing dresses stood in line with the hopes of getting in. “Because I have a car I could be working on as we speak.”
He could fit in at clubs, but he’d take greasing up his hands over dressing up any day. With cars, he didn’t have to pretend to be anything other than himself. There was no need to impress people who didn’t care about him beyond his name or fortune.
Steve, his best friend, sighed. “Because we promised Tony we’d show up. He’s our friend.”
“You promised, not me. He’s more your friend than mine and he acts like I wronged him in another life or something,” Bucky said. Tony didn't outright hate him, but didn’t seem to care for him and loved to give him a hard time. “I doubt he’ll notice if I skip this.”
“He will notice and he’s not that bad,” Steve said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I swear, between Tony and Sam, it’s like you go out of your way to not be friends with our friends.”
Bucky didn’t comment on Sam for the time being. “Not that bad? Tony has the biggest ego in the city. I’m surprised he didn’t call the place 'Anthony’s' or plaster his name all over the building,” he said, tilting his head. “Given the outside, it wouldn't surprise me if the inside was just as bad.”
Steve snorted, used to his humor after all these years. “You’re in a mood,” he said. Bucky didn’t deny it. “Let me guess: another argument with your dad?”
Bucky hesitated. “What else is new?” He wished he could clock the guy, but he was his old man.
George Barnes couldn’t wrap his mind around why his son preferred cars to the boardroom and networking. Or why he chose to “destroy” his body with tattoos. Or why he wasn't dating an elitist. It was like he couldn’t stand that Bucky wasn't just another version of him. Thank God for his mom who encouraged him to forge his own path and respected his choices.
And, yes, she occasionally allowed him access to the family funds if he wanted or needed them because she adored him.
“I'm sorry,” Steve said, clapping him on the shoulder.
They had grown up together, which meant they either witnessed or heard the ups and downs of their families. Steve wasn’t just his best friend, he was like a brother to him. He knew how his dad could get. And his dad was a good man most days, but he could also be a real pain in the ass.
“Don’t be. Not your fault,” he replied, looking at the sign again. “Never is.”
“It may not be my fault, but it doesn't mean I don’t care,” he said. He was lucky to have a friend like him. “Come on.”
Bucky felt eyes on them as they bypassed the line and approached the man at the door. Even if their names weren't on the list, the confidence he and his best friend carried would've been enough to pique the security’s curiosity. They also had enough money in their pockets to not necessarily flaunt their wealth, but to show that they had it. The same applied to their suits.
“Steve Rogers,” his best friend stated with just the right touch of pride. It was a fine line to walk between confidence and arrogance and he did it well. “And Bucky Barnes.”
“You’re on the list, but those aren’t the names the boss gave me and he won't let you in without them,” he said, crossing his arms over his broad chest.
“Aww, that’s too bad.” Bucky shrugged. It was the kind of shit Tony liked to pull and he wasn't in the mood to play. “Let’s go, punk.”
Steve held out an arm to stop him. “Just wait, jerk,” he said, shaking his head as he looked at the bouncer. “Golden Boy and Tinman?”
The bouncer to his credit looked thoroughly unimpressed instead of amused when he stepped aside to let them in. Bucky grit his teeth anyway, anger coursing through his veins. “That fucking-”
“Hey. It’s just Tony being Tony.” Steve trying to placate him wasn't working. “It’s better than Cyborg, right?”
Tinman. Cyborg. Tony tried to say the nicknames were because his left sleeve looked like a metal arm, but the man said in passing once that he was cold. Heartless. Just because Bucky didn’t show his emotions to people he didn't care for didn’t mean he didn’t have them.
“Tony being Tony doesn’t give him a pass to be a dick, Golden Boy,” he said, holding up a finger. “One hour. You get one fucking hour.”
“Please, don’t call me that,” Steve begged. The man with a heart of gold to match his hair and a pair of fists ready to strike for anyone who needed defending. Everyone in their circle looked to him as a man who always tried to do the right thing. “And fine. One hour.”
As they walked further into the club, vibrant energy surrounded them. Red and yellow lights cast a warm glow to create a welcoming ambience, while plush seats and sleek decor added a touch of glamor and sultriness. The bar, illuminated and inviting, beckoned patrons to select their drinks. The music was perfectly balanced, not too loud or overwhelming, allowing for easy conversation amidst the lively atmosphere.
Bucky didn’t want to give Tony too much credit and make his head swell more, but it was a nice place.
“So, where are we sitting?” He asked.
As if on cue, a woman in a smart black dress approached. Not a single hair out of place. “Pepper, good to see you,” Steve smiled at her. Bucky recognized her now. Tony’s personal assistant, had been for years. She did her job well and the man’s schedule and life would fall apart if he didn’t have her around.
“Good to see you, too. And you two are the first to arrive,” she smiled. “Right this way, please.”
Bucky looked around again as Pepper led them to a quiet VIP area flanked by a couple of guards. The space was just as bright as the main room, but above the center table hung a large, modern crystal chandelier: a focal point that hinted at the Stark fortune. The small stage set up at the back of the room surprised him. Was it for performers or merely for show?
“About time you showed up,” a voice interrupted his thoughts. Tony Stark, the man himself, sat in the middle of a sofa with a glass of whiskey in hand. With his three piece suit and perfectly trimmed dark goatee, he looked very much like the king of one of his many castles. Even had on a pair of his signature sunglasses because who didn't like wearing sunglasses indoors? “Or did it take you old men a while to figure out the names? Told Sy not to let you in without them.”
An apologetic look crossed Pepper’s face. “For the record, I told him not to do that,” she said, gesturing for them to sit. Bucky opted to sit in a chair that he didn't want to admit was extremely comfortable. “But he never listens to me.”
“You still love me,” Tony called after her as she left the area. “No hard feelings about the nicknames, right? It’s all in good fun.”
Bucky huffed as Steve took a seat beside Tony, effectively dividing them. “First the nicknames, and now you call us old men? You look older than we do,” Bucky said, pointing to Tony’s hair. “In fact, I think I see some gray you missed on your dye job.”
As Bucky got older, he had come to love the gray in his own beard and hair. It was a good look. Maybe the right girl would appreciate it.
Tony rolled his eyes. “Barnes. Always a pleasure.”
“Stark,” he said, baring his teeth in a wolfish grin. “Never a pleasure.”
“Cut it out,” Steve chastised, giving Bucky an exasperated look, which only earned him a shrug in response. Did he expect him to play nice when he didn't want to be there? “Tony, the place looks great.”
“Of course it does, Rogers. Did you expect anything less? Though it’s always nice to get a compliment from you.” Tony set his drink down and tapped the screen of his phone, causing the red and yellow lights to switch to blue and white. “That’s your cue, Barnes.”
“Nice lights,” he mumbled, leaning his chin on his hand. One hour…
Tony scoffed. “Would it kill you to give a real compliment, or are you holding back because I own it?”
Bucky narrowed his eyes. “Does my opinion even matter? You already think it’s perfect. I’m sure everyone else has kissed your ass about it, and I don’t feel like chapping my lips.”
Tony sat up straighter. “If I really wanted my ass kissed, I’d call your little sister,” he sneered, nudging Steve’s arm. “She’s free, right?”
“Tony, stop.” Steve warned when Bucky's jaw clenched.
“What?” Tony smirked more. “I heard she just got out of a relationship and maybe I can help her get over that broken heart.”
Bucky almost got out of his seat. Becca was a sweetheart and Tony didn't deserve to breathe the same air as her. “You even think about touching her, I’ll break your fucking-”
“Hey! That’s enough.” Steve sounded pissed off enough that they shut up. “Tony, he’s not trying to be a dick. He just wanted to work on a car tonight. Doesn't mean you need to bring his sister into it,” Steve said to Tony in a calmer tone, giving Bucky another look. “And you know he wouldn't fool around with Becca. You’re letting your fight with your dad get to you.”
Bucky slowly exhaled. “I know.” He felt a pinch of guilt. He had let his dad sour his mood and dismissed Tony’s club when Tony was at least nice enough to extend an invitation. It also wasn't fair to make Steve play referee when he deserved a fun night. “And I think we’re all varying degrees of dicks here.”
Unexpected respect and understanding filled Tony’s eyes, replacing his usual disdain. “Rather tinker with something than hang out here? I get it. And asshole fathers, I get that, too,” he said, downing the remainder of his glass. Bucky had nearly forgotten that Tony had issues with his own dad. “But let’s be serious, we all know I’m the biggest dick here.”
That brought a chuckle out of all three of them. It was the closest thing to an apology. “I would drink to that if I had one,” Bucky joked.
Tony tapped the screen of his phone again in a short pattern and the middle of the table rose up to reveal a decanter and empty glasses. “Top shelf and on the house even though you can afford it.”
“We’re still going to tip. You can give it to the staff working tonight,” Steve offered, pouring each of them a glass and passing one over. “And now that we’ve gotten some of the unpleasantness out of the way, can we get on with the evening? Please?”
The men nodded, but Bucky still needed more than one stiff drink to get him through the hour. At least Tony brought out the good stuff for them to indulge. “I have to ask, where are the rest of your friends?” He expected the VIP section to be overflowing with his usual crowd instead of being nearly empty.
“On their way,” Tony said, waving a hand toward the stage. “I wanted you two to get a private show with my new star because I have a feeling you’ll appreciate her talent more than the others. And when I say this one is special, I mean it. Voice and body of an angel. Or a siren. Whatever you’re into.”
Bucky and Steve exchanged a look. A new star? That was why he wanted them to stop by? “Have you slept with her?” Steve asked pointedly. Bucky almost asked the same question. Tony had a reputation for a reason and being a member of his staff wouldn’t stop him from trying.
“Nope. Not this one. Not for lack of trying,” Tony said, checking the time before the lights dimmed. “She told me to ‘kindly fuck off’ when I hit on her and I gave her a raise because why the hell not?”
Bucky’s eyebrows shot up. “She turned you down? I like her already,” He smirked, instantly intrigued by this mystery woman who didn't fall for Tony’s charms like so many others. “I may even have to buy her a drink.”
“Just wait ‘til you hear her sing, Tinman,” Tony said, resting back against the sofa. “Even you will love her.”
A spotlight illuminated the stage when soft music began to play. The curtain opened wide enough for a stunning figure in a long red dress to step through. Bucky leaned forward in his chair, captivated by your beauty. His heart raced, and his throat went dry as your gaze met his. He tightened his grip on the glass, nearly downing it in one gulp as you moved toward the microphone, but couldn't look away as you smiled.
Where the hell did Tony find someone so enchanting?
Bucky waited with bated breath before you began to sing. One note. That was all it took. He was lost. Gone.
Yours.
Oh, I just had to end the intro there. 😇 I wonder what our reader is like and what she'll think of Bucky. @targaryenvampireslayer @yenzys-lucky-charm @ghotifishreads @tavners @holacia3 a certain edit may come into play later... 😏 Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
#navybrat writes#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x f!reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes au#bucky fanfic#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky imagine#bucky x reader#bucky x female reader#bucky x you#james buchanan barnes#james bucky barnes#james bucky buchanan barnes#the winter soldier#the winter soldier x reader#sebastian stan#sebastian stan x reader#x reader#feel the pulse beat#sebastian stan characters#bucky fic#bucky barnes fic
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◁ || ▷
Theo: What if they hate me?
Gabriel: Then I guess we’ll die-
Theo: Now why would you say that?
Gabriel: I’m joking. You’ll be okay! Swear, they’re like the most unserious people ever.
Theo: Are you joking? They look pretty serious. I’m freaking intimidated!
Gabriel: What can I say? My friends are pretty cool. Ares is a cutie. Gum is well, Gum.
Gum: What am I?
Gabriel: NOTHIN!
Gum: Hmm… I’m watching you. Hi, you must be Theo!
Theo: Nice to meet you guys.
Ares: Dude, I feel like you picked the wrong place to get to know your friend.
Gabriel: It’s perfect!
Ares: It’s loud. I mean, can you hear us alright?
Theo: Honestly, not really but it’s FINE! I’ve never been to a bar like this.
Gum: Cherry’s great. Lots of great memories. Ah.
Gabriel: By memories, she means all the girls she kissed.
Gum: Seriously?
Gabriel: [ chuckles ] What?
Gum: You’re buying the first round of drinks for that.
Gabriel: Fine!
Ares: [ signs ] You alright?
Theo: [ mouths ] You know how to sign?
Ares: [ outloud ] My parents had me learn a language in school. God, I still can’t believe him-
Theo: It’s alright! I’m allowed to enjoy this!
Ares: Shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-
Theo: [ laughs ] I know what you meant. Love this song by the way!
Gum: Me too! Come on, let’s all go dance!
-
Carlos: Gabriel! How’ve you been, man?
Gabriel: Doin’ good, you?
Carlos: Awesome! Garret and I are buying a home.
Gabriel: Holy shit man, congrats! You still gonna be around?
Carlos: Yep! So what can I get you?
Gabriel: Hmm. Four shots of Patron, please?
Carlos: I gotchu.
Gabriel: At a bar with no drink?
?: Oh! Yeah, uh, that’s a bit weird, isn’t it?
Carlos: Be nice, she’s one of my regulars.
Gabriel: I will! Just curious. Are you here alone?
?: [ abruptly ] Yes. Why?
Gabriel: Seems lonesome. No offense to Carlos keepin’ ya company here.
Carlos: Dude!
Gabriel: I’ve never seen you around.
?: I usually stay hidden.
Gabriel: Ah, so you like to observe. Being a wallflower’s cool and all but you could always experience something new.
?: What do you have in mind?
Gabriel: A few ideas of the fun sort. Interested?
?: Kali. My name is Kali.
-
Gum: Y-you didn’t!
Gabriel: I did!
Gum: Oh my god, I can’t with you.
Gabriel: [ giggles ] Well I had a great time.
Theo: Wow. They’re pretty wasted.
Ares: Oh, this is nothing, you should have seen them on this guy’s twenty-first birthday.
Theo: I can imagine.
Ares: Gabriel tells me you’re new to San My, have you always been a fan of the city?
Theo: I’ve always been curious. I love getting to know people but the people back home, well, you can only get to know so much when your town is pretty small.
Ares: That’s so fascinating though, I feel like my life has been surrounded by plenty of people.
Theo: Is that so?
Ares: Mhm, my family is really big into the music industry so we’ve gotten to know a lot of artists.
Theo: That’s so cool!
Ares: Yeah. What do you do Theo?
Theo: I am a dancer. Nothing wild. I’m just an extra in Cirque Felicity at the casino. I teach classes part time at this studio.
Ares: Holy shit. Anything specific you specialize in?
Theo: Ballet. I’d love to do a serious show but I highly doubt I’d be casted in anything.
Ares: Why not?
Theo: There’s… Just a particular build people have in mind when it comes to who plays what.
Ares: Hmm, well the city’s great for advocating change. My bet is you could choreograph your own show.
Theo: That’s not a bad idea.
-
Theo: It was nice talking to you Ares.
Ares: Likewise, Theo. Night.
#i am like this close 🤏 to going back to a widescreen ratio... hmm especially for more dialogue heavy scenes#hmm some inchresting looks happening here#hi kali welcome i missed u in ts3#welcome to november#tessellate#tessellate: theo#tessellate: gabriel#tessellate: ares#tessellate: gum#tessellate: kali#ts4#simblr#show us your story
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Okay I want to put all of my current predictions out here (these are subject to change, of course):
• I think this show is going to get a little more colorful or a little bit more gay with each show because I think she’s running out the clock.
• I am CLOWNING for an eventual pronoun change during surprise songs.
• I think Karlie will probably show up again. And if she shows up for the rep announcement I will die dead.
• I’m also clowning for a rainbow variation of every outfit or perhaps a debutation variation if she plans to drop them together. Maybe a karma outfit. Idk. I don’t really know what is coming next in regard to music or if there will be anything (what if she just went black out for a year and then dropped rep next December 😂).
• I’m split because I think she’s either going to continue this Travis stunt until the Super Bowl or she’ll break up with him while on tour (if it’s real that’s totally fine but the way this relationship has been crammed down our throats gives me the ick so bad). I have no idea how that breakup will go down especially since they’ve made an entire Christmas movie about this relationship.
• I’m still assuming we’ll get a proposal / breakup.
Overall, I don’t think Taylor Swift would pander to this side of the fandom the way she has if she didn’t have a plan to blow everything up. I assume she’s a good person. I assume she’s supportive of the fans who see her. I’ve been in this fandom long enough to know what it looks like when she’s in the closet and when she isn’t. The closet isn’t even glass anymore. The closet is just invisible at this point so if she’s just a straight girl who loves rainbows, she’s absolutely diabolical in the very worst ways.
And before anyone comes for me, yes she can be bi or pan or whatever she wants to be. I don’t care about muses or labels. I notice patterns and I can’t help but connect the dots. I see bi and lesbian dresses and her calling attention to them so that’s where my focus is. I care about freedom for her (whatever that looks like) and I also think some clarity about who she actually is will help a lot of us decide if we want to keep supporting her and giving her our money. I’m placing my bet on her being who I think she is so I’m here to support her until the end of this roller coaster ride.
I will make a post on the final day of this tour but I just want to say this: I have had the TIME OF MY LIFE in this labyrinth. I have made lifelong friends because of this side of the fandom. Thank you to ALL of my friends on here who have followed me and commented on my posts and said such kind things. Thank you to everyone who has messaged me their insights and theories. And finally, thank you to my fans who have messaged me your homophobic, brain-rotted hate comments. Good luck in the aftermath!
And to Taylor (if you ever see this), thank you for keeping my mind so stimulated. I will probably never get dementia because of you. You have been so good for my brain health. Thank you for teaching me about my own history as a queer girlie. Thank you for helping me heal my relationship with my neurodivergent self. Thank you for being the “mother” who saw me when my own mother just talks about how gross and wrong gay people are. Thank you for being kind and strong and brave in the face of shame and fear and danger. Thank you for leading a revolution of New Romantics! No one does it like you, girl. I love you so much. I hope you got a giggle over the chaos and the wrong predictions. I hope this tour brought you joy and hope and peace and healing. I know I haven’t always seen eye to eye with some of your choices, but I do respect you and I do hope the rest of your life is sunshine and rainbows and you get to hug your mom forever and take really long naps with your person after all of this is over. Long live 💜
Update: I do think the election plays a big role in how loud she can be. @casuallycruel131313 pointed this out, too. We’ll get way more once Kamala has been elected! I think Canada shows will be wildddd.
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Words Better Left Unread, or Is It? ~ Part IV ☆
Part I
Part II
Part III
“I’m sorry.”
Macaque stood frozen, his heart pounding in disbelief. The words hung in the air, heavy and charged with meaning. Did Wukong truly apologize to him? For a fleeting moment, he questioned whether his six ears had deceived him, but deep down, he knew that wasn’t the case. Sun Wukong—legendary Monkey King, the Great Sage Equal to Heaven—had spoken those words. Just as he had said them quickly, they lingered in Macaque’s mind, echoing with unforeseen weight.
Macaque wrestled with the moment, recalling everything that had led them here. The battles fought, the grievances exchanged, and the fleeting moments of camaraderie all tumbled through his thoughts like a chaotic storm. Wukong, with his fiery spirit and unrelenting pride, had rarely backed down or offered such vulnerability. And yet here he was, in an unexpected display of humility, reaching across the vast expanse of their tumultuous history.
Macque’s heart fluttered, teetering between skepticism and a flicker of hope. Could this really be a turning point? Could forgiveness pave the way for something new? There, in the tension of that quiet moment, a fragile possibility began to unfold before him, hinting at a future neither of them had dared to imagine.
“What?” That was the only thing Macaque could say. Wukong was scared and nervous, and he said that so suddenly that he didn't even think of it. Wukong himself was still processing that he said he was sorry so quickly. But Wukong repeated the very same words, not one but three times.
“I am sorry. I'm so sorry. I should've never struck you; I'm sorry.” Sun Wukong seemed like he would break into a frantic ramble as Macaque saw how Wukong was shaking. “The crown was even tightening, and I didn't stop. I didn't feel it; rage came over me, and I did something that haunts me to this day. I'm sorry I'm-” Macaque heard enough.
“Stop.”
Wukong froze, finally looking back at Macaque and what he saw; he felt like his heart stopped. Macaque took off his glamor. Wukong felt like he deserved it. Of course, Macaque would do this, but if it were what was needed to earn forgiveness, even if he didn't deserve it, then he would. But what he heard next from Macaque confused him.
“Take off your glamor. I know you have them. Don't hide it from me.”
Wukong hesitated but reluctantly took off his glamours, his red eyes and golden iris showing through the dark dojo. Then Macaque spoke.
“We both went through things. We both made mistakes. Yes, I lost my life, and yes, I hated you for that. I don't know if I can fully forgive you yet, I lost sight that I could never regain. But so did you. I can still see Louzi's furnace and the way it affected you. I can still see what that dumb monk did to you.” Macaque paused before he continued, although he was partially shaking, just as Wukong was. “But that's why I tried to hurt them, the pilgrims. They were hurting you, that dumb monk was hurting you, and you promised you wouldn't leave. So I thought I could find a way to help you out. I misunderstood. But you didn't talk. I lost my life over something so-”
Wukong cut him off. “You didn't just lose your life; I took it! Macaque, I didn't even. I didn't even stop. I was so blinded by rage that I took my own best friend's life. I never forgave myself, but I don't understand what you're saying that I also went through things. Macaque, you lost your life! You went to the Diyu because of me!”
“I'm saying we both made mistakes! And I was bitter. I wanted to get back at you for what you did, but that kid made me realize some things. Yes, I can't fully forgive you yet. . .but I will allow us to try. To give you time to earn my forgiveness.”
Wukong had slight tears in his eyes, just as Macaque did. He was sad that he had not earned Macaque's forgiveness well fully at least, but he was glad to gain some at least and to be allowed to try and earn it.
Wukong took a breather before he decided to take up the guts to ask. “Macaque. You said that I can try and earn your forgiveness. Can you stay on Flower Fruit Mountain like before, you know. . .th-the monkeys miss you and it would help with the forg-forgiveness bit and-”
Macaque stopped him understanding, a little scared but he nodded agreeing. Then Wukong decided to at least try to uplift the moment. “Th-that's good. Unless you'd rather stay in a crappy neighborhood like this.” Macaque gave a light half-hearted chuckle. “Maybe you're right but I get to come here whenever I want.”
Wukogn couldn't help it but some tears fell as Macaque only gave a small smile. Just enough to tell Wukong, we'll get there eventually. As Wukong opened the door Mk was crying emotionally. “It's about time you guys are trying to gain your friendship back. I have to call Mei to tell her you guys are trying to get along.” Macaque and Wukong chuckled. Macaque through his slight tears as Wukong was through small tears down his cheeks.
#lego monkie kid#lmk macaque#lmk#6 eared macaque#lmk six eared macaque#lmk fanfic#lmk fanfiction#lego monkie kid fanfic
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I’m open 2 criticism totally, but this argument doesn’t make sense. Yeah, you can have your own perspective, and view the game differently, but you can’t take every single thing in OMORI at face value. There are always things that need a little more creative thinking, because that’s the point of a game. Taking everything straightforwardly and not thinking about it deeper is just going 2 lose you in this rabbit hole of emotions that eventually ends up in you hating on the game with no real reason.
Some points of yours don’t make sense 2 me, and sure you can say again that I just ‘like 2 view it differently’ or that ‘I don’t want 2 listen 2 opinion,’ however, your points are extremely contradictory, and the majority of your arguments are based off of pure bias. You could argue I’m the same way, but truthfully, I do have my own criticisms of OMORI, but you can’t simply look over everything in OMORI as bad because you simply don’t like the creator, and you can’t use other people’s analysis’s and reviews as some sort of leverage to your argument. Also, using obvious jokes from those videos 2 prove your point that it’s not reliable is a little dramatic.
In a reply, you stated that Mari was blocking Sunny’s way, and yelling at him. Seeing as you agree that she was in fact blocking his way, meaning he couldn’t ‘retreat’ 2 his room, so what other then pushing her away could Sunny do? I think it’s a little ridiculous 2 be so contradictory and hateful in every single interaction you have. Coming from someone that says they want 2 discuss and have proper arguments, this seems rather pointless and unethical.
Also, yes, blocking someone’s way is getting physical. How would you block somebody’s way without contact?
Secondly, pretty sure in one of the books of the lost library it states that he couldn’t watch cartoons with his friends anymore because rehearsals were taking up all his time.
—And no, this doesn’t make him a stubborn and selfish guy, it means he’s twelve. He’s a child, and because you refuse 2 recognise his age, it just means your argument has no base. Age does matter, it really does especially in this situation, and also how it came to be. If Sunny was more mature, and could express his indifference towards his personal time being taken away via rehearsals, then none of this would’ve happened.
He’s twelve. This decision is clearly implying his lack of experience, because he’s still immature, given his age. He could not think ahead of time, nor did he have the experience, 2 think of whether or not he was able 2 handle the responsibility and routine of constant rehearsals.
And, yes, Sunny may not be perfect, but that is what humans are, unless you are somehow. Everybody in the group (Aubrey, Basil, Hero, Sunny, Mari, Kel) have made mistakes. Because they are all imperfect, and that’s what the point is.
+ You used a screenshot of one of your own essays, that’s a perspective that is irrelevant 2 OMORI.
Also, of course OMORI has different endings. It’s a video game, if you played a game that had only one ending no matter your choice, it’d be more of a movie then a video game.
You also stated Sunny isn’t a good guy because helping people in FARAWAY is optional, and you can only do that because you, the player, choose for him 2 do it. That’s a baseless argument as well, because as stated previously, there are choices in OMORI, and depending on your choices it can change your ending. Sure, maybe helping the residents in FARAWAY might not change your ending, but it is something you can do, because every ending/quest that you’re able 2 do in the game, is something that SUNNY would do. So yes, he would help others, because it’s something that he would do.
You can hate SUNNY as much as you want, but at least make your arguments coherent and logical instead of dishing out insults and close-minded nonsense.
Alrighty, so since the user I reblogged earlier apparently doesn't want to engage in any conversation with the people they're lambasting, I'm making my reblog a separate post. I'm nothing if not willing to talk :)
learning to forgive yourself even after seeing the full weight of the consequences of your actions, and realizing that you can still be loved and relearn how to love despite everything
1) "forgive yourself" I am not Sunny, and Sunny is not me.
2) Why should I be inclined to forgive an unlikeable asshole who killed his own sister because he's too self-centered to consider her feelings, lied about it to his friends, did next to nothing to show he cares about them during the game's events (the only time he tries doing anything for anyone is when he stops Basil's suicide attempt, and even then he contemplated ditching him again as a legitimate option) and then left them after revealing he lied to them for the last 4 years while bitching about how hard it is for him to live with the guilt?
Why should I root for him? I'd love to hear a reason other than "He has trauma!" or "He's the protagonist!" or "His love for his friends is shown via the dream world he has in his head!" or an ad hominem attack.
overcoming grief and realizing the world still moves on, with or without you, whether or not you think it's fair or if you blame yourself
OMORI isn't a game about overcoming the grief of a loss. It is a game about a character who's grapping with the well-earned guilt for taking another person's life and then lying about it. Those are quite different things.
Such an argument would've been applicable had Mari actually turned out to have killed herself.
You still have responsibility over your actions, and everything you do still matters,
Which is why the gang's reactions to what Sunny's done didn't matter enough for the game to show them, I suppose.
You still can change people's lives for the better or worse even if you think you aren't worth a second thought.
Sunny changed his friends' lives for the worse. And then he left.
I really enjoy this game can you tell.
Good for you! Doesn't mean others can't point out the main character is a nasty piece of shit and the writing has more holes in it than Swiss cheese, though.
I do think some people need to retake basic literature classes or touch grass perhaps
How classy. Is it because "some people" are not reading the game the way you want them to? :)
Look. You're well within your right to shove your fingers into your ears and go "lalalala I'm not listening!" when someone tries to explain their point of view to you and you don't like it. But you can't criticize people for different opinions when you refuse to listen to any explanations.
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That moment when you’re writing something quite positive as a totally informal manga reaction, skipping over one single small visual detail because it was both so insignificant you didn’t even notice it at first, and it would also contextually be so heavily overshadowed by something far more important everywhere around it, only to log on somewhere one fateful day and see that it is precisely said detail which has become gospel, despite the fact that it makes rather little sense in canon.
Ah well, I say as if I were to let it go, knowing very well the tags will be another literary work again.
#I’m not going to rant about it BUT#yes this is about the flashbacks in the last Fifteen manga chapter#specifically that one panel of Paul and Arthur looking rather…close#I don’t even want to bother saying much because of everything surrounding it and how much it wouldn’t matter one way or the other#though I’m very confused as to why it’s Paul reaching out to Arthur and not the opposite#only one of the two canonically hated the other at the time and I’m not sure if he’d want to be anyhow physically intimate yk#unless it’s a visual representation of how Arthur was thinking about their relationship the whole time given the following panel#but yeah I’m not going to look into this because it’s not worth my energy#I’ve already said I’m not opposed to the manga flashbacks at all and I believe they speak for me here#I won’t be stopping anyone from fishing out Rimlaine stuff in the middle of a flashback literally about#how Arthur was actually alone in thinking about them as close friends the whole time#so long as all that outside context is right on display for anyone to see and make up their own mind I’ll let it go#because I’d just be repeating what’s right there already#bungou stray dogs#bsd fifteen#bsd arthur rimbaud#randou#bsd paul verlaine#bsd manga#asachuu#text post
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cried for an hour, read some of my depression poetry from fall semester, my mother called, now back to packing up my entire apartment
#I hate having to do all of this on my own#I hate that I’m on my own all the time and yes my friends are being incredibly helpful and generous but it isn’t that#it’s knowing that I always was alone in this place and moving to a place where I’ll likely be just as lonely all over again#and also there’s something uniquely devastating about packing up an entire life that’s solely mine#I hate that all of these boxes don’t mean anything to anyone else#I want someone else to have a stupid Christmas ornament in this box that they specifically look forward to putting up each year you know?#and I want someone’s mugs and books and magnets and mixed with mine#literally the dumbest shit to complain about in the whole world but I guess I’m breaking down tonight sure why not#my stuff#molly moves next week
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Ten thousand TRILLION percent yes T. Be a real human Social Media is not even ‘real’ nor is it everyone’s outlet, the be all and end all for where feelings and opinions live and die be your own human have your values live true to them fuck everyone with two thumbs and a social media account who can’t mind their own business. She’s a wonderful person with a ginormous heart and strong values she does not ever have to justify or be a spokesperson for every single cause on this planet. Being real and actioning real change and conversations off line is is important do people really think saying the same sentence as everyone else on social media is actually going to single handedly change anything NO it takes actual physical action and using your brain not your thumbs on Twitter. These platforms are built precisely for hiding your true self and being fake there is next to no sincerity in simply typing the same words everyone else is just to seem empathetic.. it’s not.
45:00 onwards
#@everyone haraasing her behind a phone screen for not speaking out abt Ukraine#she sent a freaking hand written not and her barbie to a lil Ukrainian (I’m guessing refugee) for Xmas#it would be devestatin for her and so many athletes she knows#she has friends and relationship with people on both/all sides of that conflict#uggggg yes T thankyou for being a real human and having human feelings and responses to these matters#T shows her love and compassion through actual human interaction and is not a Twitter mouth piece#fuck I hate people#not her. she’s wonderful and a precious bby angel#she’s such an old soul I love she values actually human connection and hasn’t become fake arse socialite#a rant abt social media#fuck Elon#nothing to do with this interview just fuck Elon#but making it about her own IG account is not gonna stop poots or stop violence against black people#*poots = Putin#also would this wan pls stop talking abt ‘YANNICK’#*woman#t isn’t spending the whole time talking abt Morgan or Scott..#ugh people don’t know how to have conversations#this is a once sided convo T is doing all the work here#yes my princess#I’m legit so grateful T doesn’t give two shits about people on social media
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basketballer!Gojo who knew you from college. You often showed up to his games with your friend (who liked Suguru) and just, in the most uncreepy way possible , stare at him.
basketballer!Gojo who stayed in contact with you even when he went pro. The blinding lights of fame didn’t blur his deep attraction and fondness of you. Even on his least busiest day, which was still pretty busy, he made time for you.
‘Morning, my love…your smile lightens the world and my heart, love G.S’
You smile at the note that was amongst the several bouquets of red roses, your fave.
basketballer!Gojo who made sure he returned to you every night. Unlike his teammates, he wasn’t the type to go clubbing or anything similar. He was just a guy, obsessed with playing basketball and his girlfriend.
“Fuckin’ love you, Y/N…” He breathes into your ear. After a very deserved win, he made sure to let you know how much he appreciated your support. A string of whimpers left your mouth as his dick slid in and out of you. “Always so good for me, baby..”
basketballer!Gojo who, for some reason, gets a little jealous when you steal some of his spotlight. Maybe it was just an ego thing. He was fine at first when it came to you being called ‘WAG of the season’ after sporting some cute outfits. But then when magazines and publishers hit you up, something shifted.
It was no longer Satoru Gojo and his girlfriend. But now Y/N L/N and…what’s-his-face..?
basketballer!Gojo who you no longer recognised after a heated argument.
“You know, this is so predictable. I supported you since we were in college and the one time something good goes for me, you bitch and complain!”, you yell him, your index finger was firm against his chest. “It pisses me off, Gojo. I’m done.”
He scoffs, “I just think it’s too much. The red carpets and shit, I don’t get it.”
“You don’t get it because you’re used to me being just your stay at home girlfriend. Things change!” You release your own scoff to his response.
“Maybe I liked it that way because you had time for me-”
“But you never had time for me!”
basketballer!Gojo who has no comment to reporters when asked about the ‘break up rumours ‘with long term girlfriend, Y/N. But behind the scenes, he’s yearning for your forgiveness. He’s constantly at Suguru and your best friend’s house, hoping he’ll bump into you but you were never there.
it wasn’t until the season’s final where Satoru’s team were up against the undefeated (3 years in a row) champions. He was definitely shitting himself. As team captain, he was physically present, but not mentally.
But when he walked out and saw you in the crowd wearing his jersey, he suddenly felt calm. Were you attracting all the cameras? Yes. Were you dragging attention away from the game? At times, yes. But did he mind? No. For you were there for him. Even when you hated his guts.
basketballer!Gojo who fucks you like it’s his last night with you after his team won the finals. You can’t even remember how many times you’ve came but Satoru wasn’t gonna let you go.
“Toru-hnnnggghhh..! It’s too much!” You cry out real tears as he fucks up into you. He bites your shoulder, he wanted to be so close to you after so many separated nights.
“I’ve missed this body, I’ve missed you so much, baby. You have no clue…” He growls.
basketballer!Gojo who has the biggest grin on his face when paparazzi swarm him, asking about his engagement with Y/N. Truth be told, he hasn’t stopped smiling since he popped the question.
“Satoru, what’s next for you and Y/N?” A reporter asked.
“Babies. Lot’s of ‘em.” He smugly replies.
You’ll defo punish him for that comment.
#szasfuckingwife#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#gojo x reader#gojo satoru#gojo smut#jjk gojo#gojo satoru fanart#gojo satoru x reader#jujutsu gojo#gojo fluff#gojo saturo#gojou satoru x reader#gojo x you#gojo x y/n
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THERES SO MUCH I WABT TO SAY ABOUT THIS /POS
rant in the tags
nevermind I reached the tag limit. sigh. ok well there’s more I could say but in conclusion GOOD I LIKE THIS AU👍👍
Overdue info dump/reference sheet on my stupid fartsy pantsy lotf au (I call it ‘Lord of the Flies if William Golding Locked the Fuck in’ or, ‘Locked In Au’ for short 🤗) please be nice to me
Misc infodump that’s more to do with world building/designs ⬇️
Designs:
Not everything is particularly “set in stone”, these are kinda rough designs I’ve been working on. They might change in the future- might not. But that’s okay! I tried to make them distinct and more realistic, unfortunately my art style comes from drawing anime characters all my life so that didn’t really work out. Please think that Jack is ugly… my friend says that I made everyone conventionally attractive and I did not mean to- please think Maurice and Jack are ugly I’m begging. Also I’m aware Piggy is a bit thinner than he’s meant to be… I’m working on it. Hopefully the more I draw him, the more weight accurate he’ll be.
Also I’m keeping the heights in inches. Fuck you, I love my country 🇲🇾🇲🇾🇲🇾🇲🇾🇲🇾🇲🇾🦅🦅🦅🦅💥💥💥💥
World Building:
This is an au where their little plane didn’t crash and they took a trip to America for a choir show! Other kids besides the choir got to go on for good behavior/good grades. That’s where they all met and they all became friends :3 I am very boring, and enjoy slices of lives. I only wish for them to have a simple life living in late 1950s Britain and going to boarding school with each other.
I’ll post more about them, if you have any questions please use my ask box! I love looking through it
Bye bye
#‘share the same bed’ oh they’re so roommates. they complain about sharing a room all the time even though one of them signed up for it#on the rooming sign up sheets#i love you bitter Ralph#RAAJ THATS SO COOL#Simon praying with his rosary and Roger stopping himself from asking him to be more quiet#Roger would purposefully blow smoke on people. knowing they hate it just for the reaction#that’s like a third of the reason he smokes#‘5’4. pathetic’ ☹️#im. im a five four man.#5’6 if I wear my shoes though so HAH!! NORMAL HEIGHT☝️#it’s ok piggy I still love you 😞😞#‘thinks Jacks opinion is better since he likes boys’ IM GONNA CRY#is Maurice the type to find out your gay and go ‘but you don’t like ME right. because I’m a guy. right’#because he thinks it’s different if you’re gay#also piggy def puts all his pride into student council#it’s like his one way of proving himself#and also letting out his resentment and frustration about his own personal lack of control/respect in life#yes I am projecting#also Sam n Eric being slightly different is more accurate than you think!!#it’s because of epigenetics:3#your DNA is quite literally influenced by everything in your environment. Even your mental state#so it makes sense they’d become slightly different as they different experiences#my best friends are identical twins and they still have many physical differences:D#also also. don’t worry I think Jack is a little skrunkly#you didn’t make him too conventially attractive or anything#Simon being a gay ally is so real#and aro ace Simon?!? HELL YEAH#jack being the vice president and always trying to usurp Ralph for it#Ralph not caring. just ‘shut up I’m trying to work’#doesn’t think anything will happen until suddenly it’s election week and Jack has plastered promo posters of himself in the hallway
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Friends don’t do what we do
Jason Todd x fem!reader
Warnings: none
Authors note: this is my first time ever doing something like this, I’m not a writer by conventional means but I could not leave you all hanging after blowing up my blurb
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
“That’s a nice jacket.” Your greedy gaze takes in the leather comfortably draping his body.
He eyes you carefully, “Thanks.”
“You got candy in there?” You grin up at him.
“Sweetheart, ask for what you really want.” You hate the way he’s able to coax you into yourself, grounding you with the idea that he’s not like eveyone else. He doesn’t flinch at your forwardness.
“Can I…explore your pockets a bit..?”
You aren’t snoopy by nature (yes you are) , but the desire to more about him drew you into asking this absurd question.
He leans closer to you on the couch, offering his pocket. He carefully takes in the details of your face. You’d wilt under anyone else’s scrutiny, but his attention lacks judgment.
Tentatively you reach in.
He feels your hand digging around. This is the only way he can stomach letting you touch him, between a layer of thick fabric…it feels nice.
“Massive pockets. You carry your bike in here?”
Your heart leaps at the way his laugh softens his voice, “Yeah sweets sometimes I put ‘er in there.”
Your hand wraps around cool metal, heavy in your palm as you lift it into the light of the room.
A pocket knife.
“Oh.” Your eyes gleam dangerously, “You stab someone with this before?” You pop open the blade, checking for blood, before he gently confiscates it, clicking it closed.
“A stab from this’d be a paper cut.” He lifts it away from your reaching hands.
“Then what do you have it for?” He gives you a wry smile, “Has no one taught you anything about—” he pulls his hand away as you reach for it, “—survival?”
“Mmm…not really, no.” You quip. Whether or not it’s sarcasm, he mentally adds to the list of things he needs to teach you.
You reach in again, pulling out a folded piece of paper, you carefully un-crumple it, glancing up at him briefly, waiting to see if he stops you. He only holds your gaze. “Nothing juicy huh?” Your eyes scan a grocery list.
Oh Ho Ho. “Pomegranates?”
“They’re in season…” he murmurs as you read on.
“You put C4 on your grocery list?”
His brows scrunch confusedly, your gasp interrupts his rebuttal, “Chloroform?!” He rips the paper out of your hands, and double checks the list. Bread, chips, peanut butter, mozzarella, eggs, etc.
He sighs, “You don’t buy chloroform at the grocery store, you make it.”
“How?” He gives you a disapproving look, you return it with a grin of your own as you reach in again.
“Shiny…” The three bullets are weighty, all smooth, and cold in your palm.
You let him confiscate those, reveling in his gentleness, and the contrast of his warm, rough fingers. His nearly somber expression catches you off guard, like a cold breeze through a sweater meant to keep you warm. The bullets are a heavier weight, in his hand.
“You’re worse than a crow.” He mutters.
You reach in again, “…my hair tie.”
“Mh.” His noncommittal answer soothes your poorly concealed nerves. What needn’t be said, or brought to the light; whatever this was between you.
He confiscates yet another item from your palm, pulling it on his wrist. “This is mine too.”
#jason todd x reader#red hood x reader#I wrote this!! wow like this is actually a first#Jason Todd fluff#dc fanfic#dc fanfiction
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I'll wait for your love - 18+
See part 1 | See Part 2 | Part 3 of We can't be friends (wait for your love)
The only thing you’re sure of is that you don’t want things to go back to the way they were and Spencer agrees that change may be for the best.
Spencer Reid X Fem! Reader
DISCLAIMER This story is NSFW and contains graphic depictions + detailed descriptions of adult content. It is intended for mature audiences only, minors do not interact! You are responsible for the content you consume. Make sure to read all necessary warnings. Please remember this is a work of fiction; if you don’t like it, don’t read.
WARNINGS: Panic attack mentioned, slight PTSD depictions, case details (barely) mentioned, alcohol mentioned like once. Smut (not the focus at all): making out, nipple play, clitoral stimulation, praise, use of pet names (angel, pretty girl, etc). Proceed at your own risk.
Word count: 10.4K See notes at end for authors note & spoilers.
Avoiding Spencer wasn’t overly difficult on the flight back to D.C. You weren’t entirely sure how to face him after he risked his life for you, so you just pretended to be asleep the whole time. You even took a separate jeep from the tarmac to avoid a car ride back with him, and almost made a clean getaway to your car in the parking lot when Hotch stopped you.
“I’m sorry to hold you back, but I do need the Anchorage report on my desk before tomorrow morning. It can’t be put off any longer.”
He looked extremely apologetic and you understood. You’re grateful he gave you as much time as he has. That’s how you ended up stuck at work til the later hours of the evening. Besides the few workaholics, security guards and janitors roaming around the corridors, the only other person there with you is Spencer, oddly. Even Hotch has gone home. You’ve spent more time stalking the doctor work through the pile of case files on his desk than you have writing in the one on yours. Only when you're caught do you look away.
“Everything okay?” The innocent curiosity in his big eyes further reddens the hot embarrassment in your cheeks.
“Fine.” You mutter, dipping your head back down to the open page.
You’re never going to get this damn file done if you can’t get him out of your head, and him being barely three feet away from you doesn’t help. It’s very difficult for you to get your words from pen to paper. Anchorage wasn’t haunting you like it did at first. It was a traumatic event, yes, but alone isn’t the cause of this…block. Obviously the reality that you’re leaving is starting to dawn on you. Somehow your mind has linked this case with your departure and finishing this report makes it more official than your actual resignation.
Plus, as much as you definitely hate Spencer, you do did care for him. The shock of him almost getting himself killed in front of you is another thing occupying your mind. It’s barely been twenty four hours since then, it’s still fresh. You can see him stand and grab his satchel in your peripheral vision, he’s preparing to leave. There are a lot of memories attached to that brown leather bag.
Things he would carry in there for you when you forgot your own bag.
You don’t make it obvious that you’re watching him gather his things in small glances.
He bought extra hair clips for you to keep in there because you would often forget those too.
It’s over now. No point in dwelling on it. You shake your head once he’s out of sight, trying to force him out of your thoughts. Now that he’s gone you’re hoping to actually be able to get some work done.
He taught you chess with the mini chess set he keeps in there. You discovered that you actually quite liked chess and would ask to play with him all the time. It was also his ‘secret’ weapon to help you calm down.
You roll your eyes to push back the tears from the memories that refuse to stop playing. This can wait until you get home, it’s not important.
It wasn’t the chess set that helped you feel calm. Spencer could win chess against you in just a few moves, but he would deliberately stretch out the game so you could have room to breathe. The longer the game, the more time you had to spend focused on the moves and slow down your thoughts. You could open up at your own pace. He would let you feel in control.
It doesn’t matter if he’s near you or not, Spencer has a way of invading your headspace wherever he is. Your train of thoughts is interrupted with a light thud on your right. You covertly roll the tears away again and turn to examine the source of the noise. A mug of coffee placed on your desk by
“Spencer?” You sputter breathlessly.
“Sorry. I know you told me to stop. This is the last time I promise.”
You don’t fully comprehend what he’s going on about, not expecting him to be here at all.
“I thought you left.”
“I did– was. I was leaving, but I thought I’d make you some coffee before I go. Since you’ve been here a while.” He awkwardly explains.
You steadily direct your attention back to the mug, reeling in what was happening.
“Before you get mad, this really is just a cup of coffee from a colleague who thought it might help keep you energised if you’re planning to stay late. There’s no ulterior motive…”
He continues rambling but you’re not mentally present to hear any of it.
He made you coffee.
Even though you’ve been nothing short of an absolute bitch. Granted he was a bitch first, but the point is that he’s still thinking of your well being regardless. You can’t hide your tears from him this time. It’s the soft buzz of your name that draws you back to him.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you! I’ll take the coffee–”
His panicked sentiment is cut short when you jump out of your seat and shove past him. The breakdown you’ve been avoiding hits you like a ton of bricks. You run into the nearest empty office and he runs after you, making it past the door before you can lock him out.
“Spencer p–please get out! I’m fine.” You’re pacing in the same spot, fanning away the stream falling down your cheeks, hyperventilating.
He doesn’t respond to you, instead cautiously taking your hand in his. You’re in too frenzied a state to care. He guides you to sit on the couch against the wall and you blindly go along with it, still trying to get yourself together.
You want to stop the tears, but you can’t do that until you get your breathing under control. He slowly wraps his arms around you and you slump into him, head buried in his chest. You should try to fight it, you should push him away, but you can’t. Right now, surrounded by his scent, held in his arms, you don’t want to move. It’s not something you can properly explain, but the feeling is so comforting that nothing else matters. All you know is that you’re safe and that’s enough for you to allow yourself to finally break down.
The first few sobs are loud, like there’s not enough air in the world to stabilise your lungs. They fizzle out into silent whimpers and you grasp onto the fabric of his sweater, balling it in your fist, just letting yourself feel. Spencer still hasn’t said a word. His right hand is rubbing circles on your back and his left hand is gently scratching just above the nape of your neck.
You stay like that for a while, even after you’ve stopped crying. It’s been so long since you’ve been in this little bubble with him and you don’t want it to end. You pull away when you feel the strap of his satchel across his stomach as your hand drops to his lap. He visually follows every move you make.
“You’re still wearing your bag.” You sniffle, leaning back.
“I am.” He whispers, understanding that you no longer want to be touched.
He stays in his original position; facing you, but now with one arm resting on top of the backrest and the other idly in his lap. You’ve moved so that now you're facing ahead with your back leaning against the cushions, pulling your knees into your chest. You had never found comfort in silence until the first time you experienced it with Spencer. Staying huddled, you divert your eyes towards him. There’s a distinct wet patch on his shirt. It’s less visible on his sweater-vest, but it’s there.
“Your shirt’s wet now.” It’s almost impossible to make out what you’re saying with your mouth muffled against your arm, but of course, Spencer manages anyway.
“It’ll dry.” He smiles, tone delicate.
“But– germs.” You choke a little due to your previous crying.
“It can be washed.” He’s using his comforting voice again.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
The silence resumes. Neither of you dares to move, trying to freeze this moment. It’s obvious that you didn’t grasp how badly you craved each other’s presence.
“D–do…” The initial sound grabs Spencer’s full attention again. You take a deep breath, hoping he wants to stay here as much as you do. “Do you still carry that little chess set with you?”
A small, airy chuckle comes out from him.
“Would you like to play?”
“Please.”
He creates some more space between you and begins to set up the board once he’s pulled it out of his satchel. You move to accommodate the set up, now facing him with your legs crossed on the couch and shoes abandoned on the floor. You wait for him to make the first move. After the opening moves the game doesn’t seem to get any harder and you know he’s throwing the game. You’re okay at chess, but he’s obviously a lot better.
“You’re going easy on me.” You mumble.
“Because you’re not even trying.” He replies blithely.
“Why are you doing this?”
“Like I said, you’re making it too easy.” He gently teases.
“Not that. Helping me. You hate me, remember?” You say it like it’s the most casual thing in the world.
“I don’t hate you.”
“You literally told me that you hate me.” You chuckle, numb to the hurt that sentence once brought you.
“So did you.” He counters in defence, trailing your hand as it carelessly moves your queen to her demise.
“I was angry.”
“So was I.” He spared your queen, in turn leaving his king vulnerable.
“It doesn’t matter now…” You don’t finish the rest of your sentence but Spencer still hears it.
You’re leaving soon anyway.
“It matters to me.” If he left something unsaid you choose to ignore it.
“You’re letting me win.” You whisper, feeling the urge to cry some more, but there’s no tears left.
He doesn’t make a move, bringing the game to a halt. He’s waiting for you to meet his eyes. You know what he’s going to say.
“Spencer, don't.” You beseech.
“Why?” If you looked at him instead of the board you’d see the way his eyes are pleading at you.
“There’s no point.” This time it’s your voice that cracks.
You're looking everywhere else and it makes you too aware of your surroundings. Like how the couch is lined up directly under a window that anyone could peek into.
“Leaving is not the only option.” He solicits.
He regards your discomfort and closes the blinds from where he’s sitting, pulling you back into the privacy of your bubble.
“There’s nothing that you can say to make things go back to how they were.” You bite the inside of your cheek, fiddling with a random pawn.
It’s not a proper two way conversation. You’re talking to yourself just as much as Spencer’s talking to you. You’re both trying to convince you of what you’re saying.
“Things don’t have to go back to how they were.” The squeaks in his soothing tone are starting to melt any resolve you have left.
“There’s no reason for me to stay.” You oppose, trying to make any argument stick.
“I can think of more reasons for you to stay than for you to go.”
There’s an underlying tension bubbling. Neither of you notice it over your desperate tug of war.
“I don’t think there’s anything that you can say to get me to stay.” Another baseless sentence meant more for you than for him.
“Give me one chance. One chance to convince you.” He can see your internal struggle at his request and he throws out one final plea to sway you. “For nothing more than closure.”
Closure.
You’ve spent months in turmoil over the hows and the what ifs, trying to conjure answers to questions that wouldn’t stop pestering you. You couldn’t turn him down even if you wanted to.
“Closure?” You repeat, eyes finally latching onto his.
“Closure.” He whispers back in reassurance.
“Even if you can’t convince me?” You caution, not wanting to give him false hope.
He doesn’t say anything, thinking over the scenario in his head. He simply nods and you mimic the action, blinking away the blur in your vision and dragging around chess pieces. It takes Spencer a second to figure out that you were moving them back to their default places.
“Okay new game.” You announce.
Spencer blinks in confusion, waiting for you to elaborate.
“I can ask you any question I want and you have to answer honestly. If by the end of the game I’m not convinced to stay, you back off for the remainder of my time here.” You pause for him to interject, but he doesn’t. “That means we stay away from each other, only talking when needed for work. Even then as cordially and professionally as possible. No more trying to make casual conversation or bringing me coffee or anything like that.”
“Till the end of the game?” He studies you.
“Yup.” You smack your lips together. “Til one of us checkmates the other.”
“This means you’ll actually give me a fair shot?”
“Between the two of us, I’m not the one known for cheating at games.” You jab, trying to ease the tension you could definitely feel now.
“I meant a fair shot at convincing you. As in you’ll seriously take what I have to say into account.” He discards your attempt.
“No, I know. The opportunity was just too good to pass up.”
He can tell you’re trying to hold back a laugh from the small smile on your lips. It’s as adorable to him now as it was the first time he saw it.
“Any rules before we start?” He asks, unable to hide his own smile.
“Only that we have to be honest.” You answer, immediately dropping your smile.
“Okay.” He agrees, smiling slightly wider.
“Okay.” You nod again.
When he finally makes the first move it hits you that you don’t actually know where to start. Theoretically, you know what you want to ask, but don’t know how to ask. You don’t know if you should jump straight into the questions or start with some ice breakers. Nothing is said for about four to five moves when Spencer pauses the game.
“Are you going to ask any questions or have you decided that you just want to play one last game for your closure?”
“Huh?” You snap your vision away from the board. “Oh, sorry. I was thinking.”
“Do you want to return to the game after thinking of a few questions to ask?” He raises his brow and relaxes his jaw.
“No, no, we don’t need to do that. Let’s keep playing, the questions will come to me.” You brush off his suggestion and motion for him to continue with his turn. He doesn’t.
“What?” Your voice raises and you scrunch your nose from perplexity.
“Sorry, it’s just that you’ve put us on a time limit and this is how you’re using our time?” He airs, failing to conceal his amusement.
“Well excuse me if I don’t exactly have a list of questions ready to go for you.” You narrow your eyes in annoyance.
“Why would you suggest this if you don’t have any questions?” He tries to hold back his laugh and ends up snorting as a result.
“I have questions!” You jabber, unable to maintain your annoyance. “I don’t know what– where do I even start?”
“Start with whichever one comes to you first.” He shrugs, finally making his move.
A lot of things come to mind when you think about it. The thing that screams the loudest twitches a nerve and you become instantly irate.
“Okay.” You nod, tone harsh and flat. “Let’s start with whatever the fuck possessed you on the last case. What was your thought process when you put your life in danger like that?”
He almost gets whiplash from the change in mood, his face literally reads ‘are you serious?’.
“He was going to shoot you.” He states like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
“I was wearing a vest, I would’ve been fine.” You contend.
“I wasn’t willing to take that risk.”
“Risk?! You literally put yourself in danger for no reason!”
“I think it was a pretty good reason actually!”
“Spencer that was–” You stop yourself with a grumble, inhaling deeply.
“It was instinctual, okay?” He softly explains. “I saw him aim the gun at you and I just reacted.”
“Well it was a stupid reaction!” You whine.
“I’m not going to apologise for it.”
The glare you give is piercing, you bite the inside of your cheek to hold your tongue before you say something you can’t take back. Spencer throws his head back and sighs.
“But I will promise not to do it again.” He adds, not fully intending to keep it.
This was slowly turning into another argument, both of you shooting back too fast with your responses. You aren’t in the mood for another argument. So you redirect your attention to the game.
“Check.” You mumble, buying yourself time to think of another question. “Why are you here so late anyway?”
“I wanted to finish some work before tomorrow morning.” He replies, moving his king to safety.
“Yeah, what’s up with that? You could’ve done those tomorrow as well.” Your voice softens out of curiosity.
“I wanted to get them finished in case there were more tomorrow.” It’s not his best excuse. You don’t know what he means by that. He doesn’t know what he means by that. He’s lying to you.
You scoff, poking your tongue against your cheek. “Wow. You really can’t not cheat during a game, can you?”
“Right, sorry.” Spencer clears his throat after the initial confusion clears. Complete honesty, it was your only rule. “I wanted to be here.”
“For…” You egg on, purposely rolling your ‘r’s to prompt him.
“I wanted to make sure that you were okay.” He admits, looking away from you.
“Why?” You’re genuinely puzzled at the admission. “You’re the one who almost died. I mean, it was stupid and your fault, but still. If anything I should be checking up on you.”
“Check.” That’s the only response he gives you. He hopes that you don’t push further, but he knows that you will.
His lack of response only forces you to think about the possible reasons by yourself, using context clues to figure it out. You are a profiler, after all.
“Is this because of the panic attack?” You note how his jaw twitches when he swallows at the mention. “It is! You seriously chose to spend your night stuck at the office because of that?”
“What else was I supposed to do? It’s not like you would talk to me, you literally refused to even look at me!” He gripes.
“Spencer I think anyone would panic if they got tackled to the ground by a six foot man without warning. I’m fine.” You giggle.
“What happened to complete honesty?” It’s his turn to glare at you.
“I am being honest!” You protest.
“Lying by omission is not being honest.” He rolls his eyes.
“Okay Mr. know-it-all, what am I lying about?” You challenge.
“Seriously? You don’t remember?” His approach is doubtful and he just stares at your dazed expression.
“Fucking spit it out already, Spence!”
Any sarcasm he had geared up for a response dissipates at your use of his nickname. He’s heard it plenty in the last few months, but not from you. For a moment things feel like they never changed. It stings in a bittersweet kind of way.
“You sc–screamed– uh–” He clears his throat and rapidly blinks, his nose twitches in the process. “During that panic attack, you repeatedly asked me to stay with you. Y–you, uh– you said you didn’t think you could li–”
“Stop. Stop. Stop talking.” Your voice quavers and you hold your hand up, ears burning up. “I don’t wanna know.”
You don’t know why it makes your heart race the way it does, you don’t even remember it. He waits a while before speaking up again, wanting to be careful about how he goes about the topic without you shutting down.
“May I ask you a question?” He voices professionally, trying to make the conversation less personal so you don’t feel cornered.
You nod, moving your king out of check.
“Is there anybody you will talk to about Anchorage? Without pushing them away?” He keeps the game going as he speaks to provide you with a distraction.
“Woah– Anchorage? Where is that coming from?” You titter.
“I want you to remember that we promised to be honest and I won’t push if you ask me to stop, but I know for a fact that you aren’t okay.” He waits for you to stop him but you don’t, even though you know roughly what he’s going to say. “Panic attacks aside, your avoidant behaviour around the topic, inability to focus, being easily startled, you’re showing signs of PTSD.”
“Spence, c’mon. I don’t need to talk to anyone. I already passed the psych evals.” You attempt to make light of the situation with carefully chosen words so you’re not lying. It was a futile attempt, you know he’s not willing to budge when he doesn’t give you anything more than a blank stare.
“Why does this matter so much to you?” You sigh in defeat. “Whatever happened…that’s a part of the job, you know that.”
“I also know, first hand, that it takes over your life. You can’t run from it, no matter how much you try to.” His tone is soft as he speaks, yet you feel like he’s accusing you.
“I am not running! Why would you say I’m running?” You object with a high voice, shrugging your shoulders. “And it’s not taking over my life. Also, check.”
“Because that’s what you do when you don’t want to deal with something.” He states point blank.
“Woah– so– that was entirely unnecessary.” You stammer, unable to deny it.
“I’m not criticising you. I just happen to know you and I know that you have a tendency to run from your problems. And it is taking over your life.”
“You’re profiling!” You gasp.
“You know that it’s not something we can just turn off! No matter how much we pretend like we can.” He waves his hands defensively.
You can’t argue with that, your lips twisting to the side.
“You want me to be honest?” You murmur sheepishly.
“Always. Please.” He responds gently, wanting you to be as comfortable as possible.
“I don’t want to talk about it. I spend a good chunk of my day actively avoiding thinking about it, but somehow I always end up thinking about it anyway. At times it’s like I can almost feel…” You breathe in instinctively. “This is the first time in months I’ve been able to do anything without it lingering in the back of my mind. Can we please talk about it another time? I would rather talk about other things…”
Another time.
“...right now.”
You’ve implied that there will be another time to talk and he definitely caught it, even if he pretends that he hasn’t. You don’t even know if what you said is true, you got too comfortable with the familiarity of his friendship. It was something you said out of habit from back when you two actually were friends. Not even a full hour's worth of conversation with him and he’s already worming his way back in.
“Um–” You drag yourself further back on the couch, creating more physical distance.
“That’s okay. We don’t have to talk about it at all.” Spencer senses your urgency to leave the situation and jumps into damage control. “It’s your turn.”
“No, um, I should– I should go. Thanks for doing thi– helping me.” You turn away from him, aiming for your shoes and ready to bolt.
“The game’s not over.” He points out.
“Yes it is.” You declare, still in the process of putting on your shoes.
“You said til checkmate.” He huffs, shifting out of his seated position.
“I forfeit!” You throw your arms out in a shrugging manner, standing up after him.
“I can’t believe this. You’re going back on your word!” He doesn’t even raise his voice. He’s just hurt.
“What’s the point, Spencer? Closure doesn’t mean anything, I’m still leaving! You can’t magically change my mind!” You yell, getting louder with each sentence.
“I disagree. I think that you’re running again!” He blocks your way and yells back, maintaining his volume throughout.
“Maybe you should think less!” You suggest, still yelling. Sarcasm is your defence mechanism when you have no actual defence.
“You know what else I think?” He continues, emphasising the word ‘think’ every time he says it out of spite. “I think that you agreed to this thinking I won’t be able to convince you, but I am!”
“I don’t care what you–”
“I think you don’t want to finish the game that you started, because you’re afraid to ask the harder questions!”
“Stop.” You command, but it doesn’t deter him.
“I think that you’re scared to hear my answers because then it all becomes too real for you–”
“Stop!” The words almost get stuck in your throat, but you choke them out. “You’re wrong.”
“If I’m wrong then prove it. To both of us.” He sits back down and motions to the board. “Ask the real questions.”
“I don’t need to prove anything, you’re wrong.” You uphold.
“So leave.” He challenges, knowing that you won’t be able to.
If you truly believed that he’s wrong you wouldn’t feel the need to prove it, but you do and he knows that. You walk back over to the couch, head nodding from irritation, tongue poking your cheek. You kick your shoes off with a bit of force and return to your earlier position across from him.
“Your move.” He reminds you as you settle in.
You don’t reply yet, but move your rook to set him up for the next move.
“Check.” He smugly states.
“Who was she?”
You don’t move, examining him close for any change in his behaviour. He obviously didn't anticipate that question first, snapping his sights back on you.
“Sorry?”
“The woman who greeted me at your door. That night at your apartment.”
“Charlotte.” He replies, holding your gaze to show you he’s got nothing to hide. “We met at the library a week before.”
“Are you guys together?” You break away first, diverting your eyes to the chess board and trying to seem unfazed when moving your knight.
“No, God, no.” He denies immediately.
“I don’t know, she seemed pretty cosy for someone you met a week prior.” You don’t mean to sound as snide as you come across.
“No, it wasn’t like that at all.” He shakes his head.
“You sure? Because I’m pretty sure I saw her mark you up with a kiss on your cheek before disappearing.” You don’t look at him, examining a captured pawn as you wait for him to make his move.
“Mark me up?” He cognizes it instantly. “Are you…jealous?”
“What? No!” You vehemently deny, your voice rising in several pitches.
“You are!” His eyes widen.
“I am not jealous.”
His jaw slacks and he lets out an amused scoff. He doesn’t say anything, making you feel the need to fill the silence.
“I only bring it up because…I know you have a thing with…germs.” Your words falter because of your own uncertainty and you want to dissolve into the fucking floor.
Spencer tries to suppress a smile by poking his tongue out slightly. If the atmosphere was lighter he’d tease you about it, but he doesn’t want to make you take off again. Still, he feels the need to clarify the events of the night.
“I don’t know why she kissed my cheek, it was completely random.” He takes his time saying it, still fighting a smile.
You swallow nervously and purse your lips to the side in response. One question answered and you only have new ones in its place. Did she stay the night? Did she sleep on the couch or on his bed? Did he see her again?
“I drove her home right after you left.” He can almost hear your thoughts.
“Was it a date?” You softly gulp again, unsure if you even have a right to know.
“Yes.” He hesitates.
“Oh.”
“I wanted to try out casual dating for once.” He chagrins. “I honestly don’t know how you did it, it’s not even fun.”
“No it’s not.” You chuckle dryly. “So no second date, I presume?”
“Definitely not. I was just stressed the whole time.” He chuckles with you.
“Take a shot of tequila before you go next time, it helps settle the nerves.” You joke, jumping to give him advice you hope he doesn’t take. You can’t help it, it’s what you’ve always done. Even if it goes against what you desire.
“While moderate consumption of tequila can help relax the nervous system, I will not be turning to alcohol for stress relief.”
“Then blast classical music while you get ready and give yourself a pep talk out loud, it’s actually really efficient–”
“There won’t be a next time. For a really long time, if ever.” He interjects, miffed at your insistence.
“You willingly plan on committing to lifelong celibacy?” You exclaim with a puzzled look. “Why?!”
Spencer laughs at how raw your reaction is. He didn’t plan on giving out any more details but, with that prompt he decides that it’s now or never.
“I don’t think any future dates will appreciate me picturing someone else in their place the whole time.”
Oh.
Both of you lock eyes at the same time. This is not a road you’re prepared to go back down, even if that’s literally the whole point of this conversation. You’re too stunned to reply and Spencer uses this as an opportunity to be elaborate. He doesn’t want any misunderstandings this time.
“I couldn’t stop pictur–”
“Shut up.” You blurt out the sentence in almost one word.
Your heart’s racing like you’re standing on the edge of a cliff. You’re flustered, every part of your body is heated from how terrified you are.
“Y–you don’t have t–t…you don’t owe m–me an explanation.” You try to elaborate, contradicting yourself and stumbling on your words.
“I want to.” He reads that you’re apprehensive but pushes regardless.
“Please don’t.” The tears that you thought had dried out were building again.
“Why ask if you won’t let me answer?”
You don’t have anything to say to that. Did you want answers? Yes. Still, you didn’t expect how hard they’d be to hear. He whispers your name and you scramble to think of your next move, and not in chess. You’re unable to even think about the game right now. You want to bolt, but you can’t even get yourself to move. So you deflect.
“Because it doesn’t matter.”
“I disagree.” Although his tone is subdued, the pace of his wording is faster. “I think it does matter and that’s why you’re afraid to hear it.”
He’s right but you can’t bring yourself to agree. This is only going to over-complicate an already complicated situation.
“It’s not enough.” Your voice cracks.
“How can it be if you won’t even give it a fair shot?”
“Fair?”
It comes out louder than you intended. His words trigger resentment within you and you snap.
“Nothing about any of this is fair! I mean, fucking hell, Spencer, four years. That’s how long we’ve been friends. I mean I’ve shared shit that I thought I would be taking to the fucking grave with you! You were my best friend for four fucking years and all it took was like, five seconds?”
You sob, softer than when you were first crying, but the frustration is clear. He reaches out to touch your hand, but you push his hand away.
“No!” You choke, sobbing harder when you try to compile your thoughts. “Five seconds to destroy all of it! It makes me wonder if everything we shared, our friendship, was it ever even that strong?”
Your anger simmers to sadness, as evident with how your yelling fades into whispering in the last sentence.
“I can’t even tell you when exactly those five seconds were. I mean, I know…but…I don’t. Where did it go wrong, Spence?”
“I don’t know.” Is all he can say after a beat of silence.
He knows exactly where it went wrong.
“Yeah, me neither!” You sniffle, immediately wiping a single tear that manages to escape. “So again, it doesn’t matter.”
“When you took it back.”
“What?”
“That’s where everything changed for me. You showed up at my apartment drunk, after your date with Nathan. Your exact words were ‘I mean as an amazing friend’.” His voice strains like he’s forcing himself to speak.
Your gaze falls, eyes darting everywhere as you try to jog your memory beyond the one sentence you remember.
“I don’t understand.” You croak.
“You know, if I wasn’t who I am, maybe you could love me the way I love you.” He chuckles bitterly, fighting back tears of his own. “That was– that was, uh, what you said before you took it back.”
“Spence, please…” You whine without sound, tilting your head back and chewing on your lip as a final attempt to stay composed.
“No, you wanted to know where it went wrong.” He laughs falsely to downplay his tears. “You can say it doesn’t matter all you want, but the fact is, it does matter. It matters to me and I won’t let you run from it anymore.”
You can’t look at him. Not with tears free falling down your face. You cup your hands together in your lap, pressing your fingers and nails together.
“You told me that I couldn’t love you.” You struggle to sound your words.
“I’m an idiot.” Another chuckle, but he sounds defeated. “When you said that, all I could think about was how badly I wanted to say that I do love you.”
You tearfully laugh at this admission.
“I only took it back because of what you said. I panicked. I thought I’d ruined things…which I guess, I still did.” Another laugh from you.
Spencer responds with the same regretful sound.
The irony spurs another fit of giggles amongst you, this one slightly longer and infinitely more rueful than the last. You look anywhere but at each other until it grows quieter.
“If you loved me, why the fuck would you tell me that I couldn’t love you?” You sound just as, if not more, defeated than him.
“Love.” Spencer corrects without missing a beat.
Your brows twitch up and your heart jumps.
“I was so hung up on every single part of your sentence that I didn’t know what to say first.” He proceeds to answer you without leaving much room to process what he said. “I wanted to tell you that I do love you. I love you as you are. Not as somebody else.”
“But you didn’t say any of that.” You ignore all his admissions, not fully comprehending.
“Like I said, I’m an idiot. I was in so much disbelief and that was the first thing that came out of my mouth.” He sullenly huffs.
You don’t reply, sniffling with your head down.
“For like a second, I had everything I wanted. Then you took it back and it was like my whole world had been ripped out from under me. In those five seconds, you’d given me a taste of what I’d spent four years convincing myself I couldn’t have and I just– I couldn’t go back after that.” He adds after a stillness.
After a short while, your focus shifts from your hands to the board in front of you. The game’s been long forgotten. You’re immersed in the conversation, in spite of how strenuous it is.
“I understand why you were distant, even mean, at first.” You snivel. “But after a while you just became downright cruel.”
Spencer doesn’t shy away from your gaze when you do look at him. His skin is as drenched from crying as yours is.
“I mean ‘I don’t want to see your face’? I know that I don’t really have a leg to stand on anymore, but, what the fuck Spencer?”
He doesn’t cringe any less with every reminder. He’s truly regretted the words since they left his mouth.
“I wanted to hurt you.” He reveals. “I thought you were being deliberately cruel and I wanted you to feel exactly how I was feeling.”
“Deliberately?”
He nods, hanging his head.
“I thought that you knew how I felt and were just trying to be funny or something.”
“Well I didn’t. I wasn’t.” You cut him off with a constricted voice.
“Even if you did, it’s not an excuse.” His eyes are glistening from the outpour of tears, but he still lifts his sights back to you. “I’m sorry.”
You don’t know how to acknowledge his apology at all. You’re not even angry anymore, all you feel is sorrow and regret for the way everything happened. An entire friendship down the drain due to an unfortunate set of circumstances.
“This is so fucked up.” You say with another mordant laugh. “All of this could have been avoided if we just talked about it.”
It stung less when you had somebody to blame for it. Your vision blurs and you make no effort to clear it, letting yourself cry openly.
“We’re talking about it now?” It’s almost a squeak, the way it’s spoken.
“Yeah, but,” your shoulders slump, defeatedly, and you have to pause to control your sob, “what good does it do now? I’ve already lost the best thing that’s ever happened to me in the most pathetic way possible.”
“I’m right here.” He counters in such a small voice that it gives your goosebumps.
“Spencer, too many things have been said…”
“When you first joined the team, I instantly knew I liked you.”
He chews on his lip and darts his eyes around while he contemplates if he wants to continue.
“I thought it was because of your kind nature. You were so sweet to everybody.” He decides he does, but his voice shakes throughout. “You have this gift…you make people feel so good about themselves. Whenever you spoke to me, I felt like the most important person in the world. It was impossible not to like you.”
You want to pretend like you don’t know where he’s going with this. You want to stop him, but your voice is stuck in your throat.
“It wasn’t until you bought me coffee for the first time that I realised just how much I liked you.” He chuckles again, as he reminisces in the memory. “You didn’t even get my order right until the fourth time, but it was still my favourite cup of the day.”
“You make me sound like a saint.” You finally choke out, attempting to play down the confession so it doesn’t crush your heart. “The only reason I even started bringing you coffee is because you learned how I like my coffee first.”
“Not a saint, an angel. I’ve fallen so deeply in love with you that there are times where it genuinely feels like I’m in the presence of an angel.”
It’s stated with such sincerity that it knocks the wind out of your pipes. Your eyes are widened and you’re biting your tongue with your mouth closed, staring at him with your chin tucked. He seems so confident, even with the glistening from previous tears in his eyes.
“I wanted to be in your life in any way you would have me. Even when it meant that I had to accept you with other people. And it was bearable, until…” His reminiscence only ends at the memory of the night that changed everything. “Like I said, I couldn’t go back.”
The last part fades into another whisper, only then do you find the courage to speak up.
“Exactly.” You stick to your denial. “It can’t go back to how it was before.”
Your heart is so sure of what it wants, but your head is blinded by fear. You’re at a crossroads, except one path, the path that leads to everything you long for, is clouded with a fog of uncertainty. The other path is so painfully clear, you can practically see what’s on the other side. A fresh start, where the risk of fucking up further doesn’t exist. What you don’t see is Spencer.
“Good. I don’t want it to go back to how it was.”
Spencer’s waiting for you to enter the fog. He’s going to be there holding your hand every step of the way.
“I’ve already handed in my resignation.”
“That matters less than everything you’ve claimed doesn’t matter.” He leans in, intensifying his eye contact.
“I’m pretty sure Hotch is really close to confirming my replacement.” You comment half-heartedly.
You’re trying anything to dissuade both him and yourself from acknowledging the obvious, but he doesn’t plan on letting you avoid it.
“I love you.” He whispers softly.
“Spencer…” You begin when he takes hold of your hands and whatever you had to say disappears from your tongue.
“I love you. With every atom that makes up my body.” He repeats himself with further elaboration to instil it in your mind.
“I’m scared.” You whisper back with a sob, finally accepting it.
“Why?” His voice can’t be any softer, but it still cracks a little.
“Because, you can’t guarantee that it’s going to end well.” You allow your vulnerability to peek through. “And that’s going to hurt more. I’d rather leave now than fall deeper.”
Although you didn’t say it back, it’s an indirect admission that you love him too. And it’s enough for him to fight harder.
“I know that my credibility isn’t the greatest,” he coaxes a small, sad scoff out of you, “but I truly believe that this, us, we’ll work. Because I know that I’m going to do everything I can to make this work.”
He feels bolder when you don’t pull away from his touch, folding your fingers into your palms and cupping over them. You observe the sight as it unfolds in lieu of a verbal response.
“I’ve spent four years judging any man that comes into your life, wishing I was in their place, swearing I would treat you better than all of them.”
Spencer feels the need to fill in the silence and he lets honesty guide his confession. He leans in further as if he’s indulging his deepest secret.
“Four years wasted wondering what could be, cursing out those idiots, but taking no action to make it happen. And that makes me the biggest idiot out of all of them.”
When he speaks like this, with his big, imploring eyes and prayerful tone, it melts your heart to a point where it almost hurts. The more he talks, the more you begin to lean in, opening yourself up to him.
“It took losing you to realise how badly I fucked up and for that I will never forgive myself. I know that I have no right to ask you to waste any more time on me…”
There’s no more resistance against the pull you both physically feel to each other.
“...but I’m begging you for a chance to do today what I should have done way before yesterday.”
Your faces grow closer by the second, you can feel each other's breaths against skin.
“And I’m going to spend every tomorrow proving what I said today.”
The likelihood of him changing your mind with one conversation wasn’t very high, both you and Spencer knew this when you got into it. You’re not entirely surprised when he somehow manages to overcome those odds too. You take the step to close the gap and lightly press your lips to his.
It starts off soft, there’s no lust, no ulterior motive behind it. It’s a simple confirmation that you’re both present and this is real. Spencer doesn’t shy away from the kiss, not that you’d call this a kiss. It feels more intimate, more unguarded.
Spencer pulls you onto his lap as he shifts and leans back against the backrest to allow more room for you. You wrap your arms around him and the kiss deepens. In the midst of you straddling him, he slides the entire chess board off the couch and the pieces scatter on the floor. It’s only when you feel that the kiss can’t bring you any closer to him does the lust emerge. It fuels a desire to prove that you both whole-heartedly belong to each other.
There’s no pinpointing when the switch happens. All you know is that the feeling of his lips against yours is no longer enough. You cup his jaw in your hands, swiping your tongue on his lower lip and it causes his grip on your waist to tighten. He parts his lips for you and it starts what you can only call a dance with your tongues.
Your breathing grows hotter, your hips subconsciously grind against him. There’s a prominent bulge that brushes against your heat and you whine into his mouth. Spencer grunts your name in response and then abruptly pulls away.
“Wait, wait, wait, slow down.” He breathlessly whispers against your lips.
“What?” You whisper back with concern. “What’s wrong?”
“Are you sure you want to do this?” He gazes into your eyes, afraid that you might regret this later.
“I’ve never been more sure, actually.” You’re confident at first but the look in his eyes makes you pull back further. “Unless…you’re not sure?”
“No, don’t misunderstand me. I want you.” His tone rises just above the previous whisper with his clarification. “It’s just that the last thing I want to do is take advantage of you when our emotions are running high.”
“Four years, Spencer.” You lean in again, just brushing your lips against his. “The only reason you should be making me wait is if you’re not sure.”
He shuts that idea down by crashing his lips on yours. The kiss is so hungry, so desperate, it’s everything both of you have longed for and denied yourselves everytime you’ve been in each other's presence. It doesn’t take long for hands to start to roam. He traces the curve from your waist to your hips, stopping just at the hem of your shirt, tugging it like he’s asking for permission.
You rush to undo your buttons and he meets you halfway, starting at the bottom. His fingers brush against yours as you two reach the final button and you pull the fabric off yourself. You do the same with his shirt, lips remaining locked, except for the small gasps of air you take in between. It requires a bit more manoeuvring with him, but you’re both soon shirtless.
His mouth travels to your jaw and you shut your eyes from pleasure as he continues down to your neck. The stubble on his chin tickles your skin. You cup it, gently pushing him away with a giggle.
“Forget to pack a razor in your bag, Dr. Reid?” Your voice is teasing, more playful than seductive.
He chuckles, airily, hiding his groan. He knows you’re being sarcastic, but the use of his title, with your voice in this context, catches him off guard. You moan as you feel his growing bulge against your heat when his arms tighten around your waist, pulling you into his kiss. You swiftly undo the clasp of your bra, but before you can take it off, Spencer grabs you from just below the hips and lifts you up off him, gently laying you down on the seat of the couch.
There’s no room for hesitation as his lips find your neck again and he nips at the skin. Every suckle earns him short gasps and the grip in his hair tightens as he travels lower. He stops just above your breast, pulling himself up to sit on his knees. You stare up at him with a heated gaze, the nail of your thumb resting between your teeth with your lips parted to make up for the loss of his lips.
He reaches for your bra strap and begins pulling slowly, searching your eyes for any signs of you withdrawing consent. All he sees is how beautifully they sparkle when you give him a light nod. It’s been too long since he’s seen the stars that you hold in your eyes, stars he accustomed himself to before he even got to properly know you.
Gazing into his eyes, you’ve never felt more sure, more safe. You trust him implicitly and you’ve never wanted anything more. His constant need to make sure you're comfortable sends shivers down to your core. He slides the garment off you and Spencer’s beyond grateful that he’s already on his knees, knowing that if he was standing he’d fall to them because of the sight below him.
His eyes don’t falter once, he’s trying to permanently etch this moment into his brain. He hovers his fingers above your body, thumb brushing against your hardened nipple and you softly whine. He looks awestruck, almost like he doesn’t believe what’s happening. You can’t help but wonder if he thinks your boobs look weird.
“Beautiful.” The words fall out of his mouth in a whisper, as if on cue. He’s really just thinking out loud.
Before you can respond he lowers down and plants a small peck to your sensitive nub before taking it into his mouth. You gasp again, head lolling back in pleasure. One of your hands goes for his hair, while the other clings to his hand that’s already holding yours. He switches between sucking, pulling and squeezing; rolling it between his tongue and uses his teeth to squeeze ever so slightly.
“S–spencer.” A strangled moan falls from your lips.
You tug his hair, whining and moaning as your hips roll against the strain in his pants. When your motions become continuous, he lets out his own strained groan and is forced to release your nipple with a small ‘pop’.
“Angel, I really need you to stop doing that.” He murmurs in your ear with a gentle, gravelly tone.
As soon as the nickname reaches your ears your hips involuntarily buck up again, making his hips automatically push down against yours. His cock presses against your core and you both moan, his head falling against your shoulder.
“Spence, more.” You quietly whine in against his ear. “I need more.”
“More?” He echoes back, turning his head so that your lips brush past each other when speaking.
“Mhm.” You nod weakly as he brushes a strand of hair out of your face and weakly connects his lips with yours.
Even when he’s got you vulnerable and at your most compromised, he’s still as gentle as ever. You don’t feel him undo your pants or sneak his hand in them, but you definitely feel him press the pads of his fingers against your clothed clit. Air escapes through your nose in a huff of surprise and you hum in his mouth, hips jolting at his touch. He can feel your slickness through your underwear.
“Oh, my pretty girl.” He sighs, breaking the kiss and directing his whispers in your ear again. “All wet for me?”
“Please..” Even with your broken whimper you beg him for more.
“Like this?” His deft fingers swipe your panties to the side, fingers landing directly on the clit this time.
They feel cold at first. The contrast against your heated body makes you squirm and you groan in a soft, high pitch.
“What are you feeling right now?” He pries a verbal response from you, circling your bud lightly. “Tell me.”
“Good.” You sigh, eyes shut as you try to savour the pleasure.
“Good?” His voice is still soft against your ear.
“Mhm.” You nod, one arm draping against his shoulder and the other hand running along his scruffy jaw. “So good.”
“And this?” He adds pressure to his movements. “Does this feel good?”
Your hips buck again and he feels rewarded when you moan. There’s no doubt that the sound of your voice is his favourite. He especially loves it when it’s directed at him. Whether that be in the form of a laugh or your sweet moans. It makes him somewhat dizzy. His lips attach to the skin just under your jaw in an attempt to coax more.
It’s very effective. Fingers working your bundle of nerves, circling and flicking while changing the pressure, and mouth kissing and sucking near your pulse. It makes your back arch, hand gripping his shoulder so you don’t float away. He’s careful not to leave any purple traces of him on your neck, mindful of you being bombarded with questions from your colleagues.
“I love how reactive you are, Angel. You sound divine– fuck.” He can’t help the grunt that escapes him. “You are divine.”
His touch alone is enough to make you feel electric, but the sweet nothings he’s whispering in your ear will be what send you over the edge. It’s a foreign feeling, being reminded that he values you for more than just your body. Just under an hour ago you had incredibly high walls built around you and none of them are left standing as you exposed under him.
Spencer’s not the first man to touch you, but he is the first that loves you. It’s something you’re not at all used to and it feels as overwhelming as it does good. It transcends the want, no, the need for the man on top of you beyond lust or love. You plan to show him just how strong that need is tonight.
The carpeted floor is littered with your clothes, carelessly thrown around and tiny chess pieces scattered around the abandoned chess board. Spencer’s comfortably lying on the couch, facing the ceiling and you’re lying directly on top of him with your face buried in his neck.
You run your fingers back and forth along his jaw, scratching his beard in slow streaks. He’s enveloped you in his arms, one around your lower back and the other playing with your hair. It doesn’t feel as peaceful as it seems, both of you are afraid of being the first to speak. You know you can’t stay like this forever and you decide to bite the bullet.
“Spencer?”
You only get silence from his end. You know he’s awake because his motions in your hair don’t stop. You push yourself up to face him, trying to study his face. The sudden movement brings him back from wherever he was zoned out to.
“Hm?” His features jump.
Does he regret it?
“What’s wrong?” Your voice shakes from worry. “You have this look on your face.”
“Nothing’s wrong. I’m just thinking.”
“About…?”
“How bad we are at communicating.” He chuckles. “It’s concerning when you think about how all we ever do is talk.”
Hearing this makes you snort and you fall into him again. It sends both of you into a short fit of laughter.
“Oh that’s promising for the success of this relationship.” You giggle, sarcasm evident.
Hearing relationship makes Spencer inhale sharply.
“So you’re staying?”
“Well obviously, Dingbat.” You scoff playfully at the question and shift upright, straddling him. “But we really do need to get better at the communication thing for this to work.”
Spencer mounts his weight on his hands by either side of him and pushes himself up to you, stealing a deep kiss.
“Yes, we absolutely do.” He whispers, breaking away for only a second.
The kisses fizzle in you a plethora of smaller kisses.
“Spencer, I’m– serious.” You voice in between, loosely draping your arms on his shoulders.
“I am too.” He says in a hushed tone as he pulls away.
“I want to take it– this,” you motion between the two of you with your finger, “us, slow. Not four years slow, but, like, by a couple of months at the very least.”
“Okay.” He agrees, his eyes scouring your face with complete adoration. It’s not ideal, but he understands where you’re coming from.
“That means that we start again. Romantically. We have to talk about a lot of things first.”
He shifts his body out from under you, resting his back properly against the couch and pulls you back into his lap in one swift motion. Both of his hands graze from your shoulder to your wrist.
“How about…you come over this weekend,” He suggests, wrapping his arms around your waist for a hug, “we’ll do snacks, a movie, maybe an actual game of chess.”
“That sounds like a date.” You wrap your arms around his neck to return the gesture and lean your forehead against his.
“It’s not a date. Not yet, anyways.” He whispers. “I’m asking you to come over this weekend so we can talk about things properly, because frankly, I don’t think either of us is in the right headspace for it right now.”
“Should I be offended at that?” You giggle, not entirely sure what he’s alluding to.
“No!” He snorts with a high tone. “Dopamine aside, our Norepinephrine and Serotonin levels are too high right now for us to have a proper conversation about this.”
“I’m not saying that you’re wrong, because you’re not, but I also think you’re just using science to try and confuse me, so that I agree to wherever this speech is heading.”
“It’s times like this where your attentiveness puts me at a disadvantage, because this tactic has a hundred percent success rate on everybody else.” He grins and you chuckle, both leaning in for another kiss.
“Can we hold off on starting over? Just for tonight.” He reluctantly voices, not wanting to push any boundaries.
You draw back and raise your eyebrows with your eyes widened.
“Spence, I have waited for years for this. You’re insane if you think I’m giving that up without relishing in it for at least a night. We’re not starting over until we’re both officially back on the clock.”
“Okay.” He heaves from relief, leaning in for another kiss, but quickly withdraws with a new question. “Don’t you think the team’s going to be suspicious when we’re not fighting tomorrow?”
“Forget them, what am I gonna say to Hotch when I ask to withdraw my resignation?” You huff out a tiny groan. “He’s gonna hate me for all this paperwork.”
Paperwork reminds you why you’re here to begin with. You audibly gasp, jumping off Spencer and scrambling to put your clothes back on.
“Fuck! Spencer, get dressed!”
Spencer doesn’t share your panic, but adheres to your demand. You mutter a continuous line of obscenities as you throw on your clothes and when you don’t seem to be getting calmer, he intervenes.
“Hey, hey, hey!” He coos as he steps towards you, still undressed on the upper-half. “What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong is that we’ve been here for hours!” You shriek, now fully dressed.
You push past Spencer and grab his shirt, deciding that he was too slow on his own. He lets you dress him as he probes further.
“That’s okay. No one’s going to notice this late.”
“No– Spence–” You sigh, throwing your head back. “In less than four hours, Hotch is going to walk into his office expecting the Anchorage report on his desk. I’ve barely been able to get half of it done in weeks, how am I going to finish it in four hours?”
You shake your head and begin working on his buttons. He grabs your wrists, urging you to look at him.
“You’ll have it done in less than one. I’ll help you!” His voice is light, airy, soft and accompanied with a chuckle.
“Spencer, you’ve already been here later than you need to be. It’s okay–”
“Let me help you.” He resorts to pleading, releasing your wrists and cupping your face.
You don’t have it in you to argue, his eyes staring back at you with sincerity. He wants to help. There’s no point in pushing him away, because as scared as you are about being too vulnerable with your trauma from that case, you trust him wholeheartedly. You know he won’t push for more than what you choose to share right now.
“Okay.” You nod and smile into the kiss he leans in for after the confirmation.
“Okay. Now, you go and start some coffee.” he instructs softly with a wide grin, waving to the scattered chess ensemble. “ I’m going to clean up here and join you.”
“I love you!” You lean for another kiss and hushedly exclaim as you break away, receding towards the door.
It’s Spencer’s turn to lose his breath. He’s affirmed his love for you countless times tonight and this is the first time you’ve verbally reciprocated it. He knows that it won’t be the last time either. That, to him, makes him the luckiest man in the world. He stops you from going any further by your arm and gently yanks you in his direction, crashing his lips with yours.
“I love you too.” He whispers after the kiss, letting you go.
Heat rises in your face again and you struggle to hide a huge dopey smile, one that Spencer has too. You’re floating on cloud nine, finally out of the blurry hurricane you’ve endured for months. There’s still a lot of things that you need to work out, but the thought of them doesn’t make you feel dread like it once did.
"One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is Love." - Socrates
Spoilers: Yapperoni (so much dialog in this chapter), BAU! Reader, enemies (kinda) to lovers, hurt, comfort, love confessions (they might be a little too sappy, idk, I was sleep deprived), the praise made me giddy at some point, smut but I edge you by not writing out everything, happy ending.
AN - I have a little tiny fear that people (me) will nawt (I don’t) fuck with this monstrosity, but out of all my drafts, this felt like the most natural course of action. I thought it would be really fun to go from friends to enemies to lovers. Now, literally nobody talk to me about writing fics after this. Uni’s started, so I’ll be very inconsistent for a bit. Casual reminder: I am not Spencer Reid. I don’t have an IQ of 187. Any facts I make him spew could very well be bull-shit and he only spews them for the purpose of the story. I also have no knowledge of how the FBI works and lack a ton of common sense. A lot of things were made up for the purpose of this story.
A comment today keeps semicolon away (from showing up to your house and eating all your snacks).
Thank you for reading!
#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fandom#ssa spencer reid#bau team#spencer reid fic#spencer reid angst#angst fic#criminal minds angst#spencer reid x fem!reader#fem!reader#dr spencer reid#spencer reid smut#criminal minds smut#smut#smut fic#the smut doesn't occur all the way#; fics
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Treat You Better - Lando x Fem reader
Summary: Y/n broke up with Lando a while ago. One night she overhears a conversation that makes her want to protect him.
Warnings: Slightly suggestive, bad words, alcohol consumption.
Word Count: 16K
Notes: Nosey me really wants to know what happened at that nightclub. I hope you like it, and as always, feedback and requests are very welcome.
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You hated this situation, you felt so bad for Lando. You couldn't shake away the memory of the model walking in that bathroom with her friend talking about how Lando was going to be the best way to help her career, and that she just had to deal with all the F1 bullshit, his and his friends' childish behavior for a couple of months to get enough contracts, and then she'll try to find true love. Honestly, you couldn't believe someone like her could love anyone but herself.
“I think you should warn him”
“I don’t know. If he still hates me as much as he did when I left, he’s going to think I’m doing it out of spite, or that I want him back”
“And you don’t?” Your bff looked at you with a knowing look.
“Off topic” You took a sip from your wine glass.
“Fine. But don't you think it is super weird? What were the odds of you and her being in London, at the same restaurant, inside the same bathroom as she decided to spill her stupid plan?"
"I must be paying some freaking karma" You sighted drifting into your own thoughts,
"Ok, enough about this, are you ready for tomorrow?"
"Are you seriously making me go?"
"Of course! Y/N, you need something to keep your mind off things and I don't want to go on my own, I barely know the guy"
Ellie had met a DJ through Tinder and he had invited her to a private party he was playing at, in one of the Monaco nightclubs.
As much as you wanted to stay back and melt into the anxiety the situation had put you in for the last month, you agreed because that was the best friend thing to do.
_________________________
You got to the nightclub, it was a launch party for a cosmetic brand. As you were led to the DJ booth, memories rushed back. You had joined Lando for a couple of nights during his DJ era. Fuck, you had missed this, and you missed him. You needed to keep those thoughts away and an open bar seemed like a good solution... or so you thought.
It had been a few hours and a considerable number of drinks when Ellie grabbed your hand and pulled you to talk to your ear, a strange choice since the music wasn't even that loud, it was one of those parties where influencers and models try to get contracts and to get known by PRs.
"Please, promise me we're not leaving"
"What?"
"Please, promise me. I'm having a good time" She pulled the puppy eyes trick, but what was she talking about?
"Ellie, how drunk are you?"
"Look over there" she discretely signaled to a table towards the exit.
What was she doing there? Was Lando there too? You almost panicked, but he couldn't be. He had raced in Baku that same day. Yes, you still knew his calendar by heart. Usually, he would fly back home the next day. This explained why she was throwing herself at some guy on her table.
"Fuck"
"You promised"
"I didn't"
"Please"
You knew this was a bad idea, you already dreaded the girl, and seeing her hump all over some guy, as Lando was away, made your blood boil. You tried to stay and keep her off your mind but it was impossible, there was no amount of alcohol in this world that could make this situation bearable.
"I'm going home"
"Y/n, please"
"If I have to see her dry-hump another guy for two more seconds I might actually punch her"
"Don't go! C'mon"
"Elle..."
"Fine, let me know when you're home"
You hugged your friend goodbye and rushed towards the exit. On your way out her voice caught your ear, that voice you couldn't keep out of your head. Clearly, you had offended the gods.
"Oh no! I'm single at the moment. I'm sooo tired of dating man-childs, like, they're fun but it's so exhausting trying to have a conversation when all they can talk about is themselves and how cool their little toys are"
Before your brain could catch up with your body, you were already making a beeline toward her.
"Hi, sorry, can I steal her for a second?" You faked a smile to the PR as you grabbed Mila by the arm and pulled her toward a dark corner of the club.
"What the fuck? Let me go!" She tried to shake your hand away when she recognized you. You finally let go of her and stood cornering her against the dark wall.
"Listen to me, you're going to stop this nonsense about Lando"
"Why? Does your career need a boost and you want him back?"
"At least I have a career people can talk about, and not just who's going between my legs"
"Fuck you" She tried walking away but you blocked her path.
"No, you're going to listen to me, you little shit. You and your stupid friends can think whatever you want about Lando, but I won't let you damage his image just so you can have your five minutes"
"I don't know what you're talking about" Her shit-eating grin seemed even worse to your alcohol intoxicated eyes.
"Really? So it wasn't you who told one of your friends that you just had to deal with this F1 bullshit for a little while to get enough contracts?" Her breath hitched for a second but then the smug face returned.
"Please" she rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. You wanted to punch her stupid grin away.
"Last warning, either you stop this nonsense, or everybody will know what a shitty person you are"
"Honey, no one's going to believe you, they will just think you're a jealous, bitter, ex-girlfriend"
"Are you sure? Have you seen the comments?" You pulled your phone from your bag waving it in her face " You don't seem to have the crowd on your side. So, listen, "honey", you want to date him, be my guest, but stop talking shit about him, he doesn't deserve it"
"Fuck you" She pushed you to the side and walked back to her table. You turned around and people were staring at you, also a few phones were pointing your way. Fuck, this was going to be all over the place.
_____________________________
You were still shaking when you got home. You hadn't been this angry at someone in a long time.
You took a cold shower to ease the heat inside you, took a sweatshirt from your closet, and went to bed.
_____________________________
"I'm surprised you didn't punch her in the face, you're such a grown-up" Ellie sat by your side on the couch.
"I wanted to, bad. But I'm not jail material. What about you? I was expecting Mr. Dj to be here this morning"
"We went to his house"
"And?"
"It was nice and all but you know I don't sleep out-"
A hard knock on the door caused a stinging pain in your head. Stupid open bar.
"I'll get that" Ellie walked to the door as you laid your head back on the couch and closed your eyes trying to ease the hangover pain.
"Please tell me Mr. Dj sent coffee"
"I guess you're in for disappointment" His voice made your heart stop.
You took a deep breath before opening your eyes and leaning back up to look at him.
"Can you give us a minute, Ellie?" He spoke before you could say a word. Your best friend who looked as shocked as you, turned your way. You nodded yes.
"I'll be over there. Nice to see you Lan" She walked to her bedroom and mouthed "Tell him" as she passed you.
"Care to explain?" You could hear a slight hint of anger in his voice, and like the psycho you were, it was making your heart rush. You were always playfully pushing his buttons to anger him enough that it would lead to rough sex, but sex was not the final outcome this time. So you had to take another deep breath to ease the heat inside.
"Y/n?" His saying your name did not make things easier. The space around you started to feel smaller by the second. You stood up and walked towards the kitchen.
"Coffee?" Your voice hoarse, as if you had been screaming for hours.
For a second his mind drifted off topic, your outfit being nothing but an oversized sweatshirt caught him off balance, even more when he realized it was one of his. A buzzing on his phone brought him back to reality and the name on the screen back to the topic.
Mila Where are you, baby?
"No thanks, I'm not here for coffee, I'm here to find out what the heck happened last night?" He followed you but kept a safe distance.
You started working the coffee machine, a cheap way to escape his presence, as a fight took place in your mind, should you tell him? Was he going to believe you?
"Y/N, I don't have all day, why did you attack Mila?"
"I didn't attack her" You finally spoke.
"That's not what the media says, and what the video shows"
"There's a video? You can't be safe anywhere" You joked.
"I'm being serious" He finally walked up to you taking the empty mug from your hand. "What the fuck was that? just because you don't have anyone in your life, it doesn't mean you have to ruin my relationship with Mila"
Low blow, Norris.
"Relationship?! Please, Lando" You spat before you could process the words.
"What? Just because you didn't want a relationship with me it doesn't mean other people won't want it either"
"What made you think I didn't want a relationship with you?"
"Umm, the fact that you ran away in the middle of the fucking night after ONE fight, ghosted me for two weeks, and just sent an "I can't do this anymore" text before blocking me from every single place? I'm not stupid"
"It wasn't just one fight. We had been fighting so much for the last month, and that last time the only difference was the volume"
"But that happens, just because we love each other it doesn't mean everything is going to be sweets and roses"
The word love sent lighting throughout your body.
"Lan, I didn't leave because of those fights. I left because you weren't happy with me, with us" Your eyes started watering, leaving him had been one of the toughest decisions.
"What?"
"You were lying to me, you were hiding. Does that seem like a happy relationship?" He stared at you confused "I knew about your nightclub and dinner escapades when I wasn't going to the GP's. I never minded you going to those things without me, I don't know why you started lying about them?" You could see it on his face he knew he had screwed up.
"But I never cheated or anything, I promise"
"I know, but it felt as if I was keeping you from doing stuff you wanted and that you felt the need to hide from me" You felt like he was being forced to be with you, like you were keeping him from things he liked.
"Y/n, I was so fucking happy with you, I just...I wasn't thinking. I saw how others got in trouble for going out alone and thought, I... I fucked up" He walked closer toward you and shily played with the hem of your sweatshirt.
"Lan -" His phone rang in his hand, Mila's name on the screen shattering the moment completely. You sighed and stepped back "Just be careful, ok?"
"Careful?"
"She might not be what you think she is"
"What are you talking about?"
You bit your lip still unsure about spilling it all out.
"Y/N"
"I heard her at Scully's a month ago. She was with some friends, I was in the restroom when she got in and I heard her tell her friend that she just needed to deal with F1 for a while to get enough contracts" You kept the details to yourself, they felt unnecessary.
He looked hurt but not surprised.
"I'm sorry" You whispered.
"Is that why you were fighting yesterday?"
"Yeah, basically" You weren't sure if telling him the "attack" had also been fueled by seeing her dry-hump two different guys was good, it seemed he had received the message.
"Why would you care?" He softly asked, his green eyes fixed on yours.
"Lan" You turned back to the coffee machine, the noise grounding you and keeping your mind from drifting into the romantic scenarios it was dying to go to.
"Tell me" He took a step closer. You could feel his body heat radiate towards you.
"Just" You knew where this was leading, what he wanted to hear, but you weren't sure you wanted to say those words.
"Bull" His hand landed on your hip. The electricity from his touch made you jump.
"Lando, stop it please" You stepped to the side escaping his touch.
"No" He took you firmly by the waist and turned you around, trapping you against the counter. "Why would you do that?"
"What do you want to hear?"
"Just tell me why did you do that?"
"Please just leave it" You closed your eyes and threw your head back, this situation and the awful hangover were killing you physically and mentally. But all Lando could see was your neck, it was almost begging him to kiss it, but he fought the urge, he needed you to accept you wanted him too.
"No, I don't want to" His voice was almost childlike.
"God Lando, damn it! I did it because I couldn't stand her talking shit about you. Yes, you can be stubborn, annoying, and sometimes such a child that I want to kill you, but you're also a loving, caring, responsible, smart and such a wonderful human being you don't deserve someone treating you like that. Happy?!"
"Yes" He pulled you from your waist and joined your lips.
His flesh touching yours felt like a breath of fresh air. You couldn't fight it anymore, and as much as you wanted to deny it, you loved him, you loved him deeply.
Your hands found their place behind his neck, softly playing with his curls.
His hands traveled down from your waist to your thighs, caressing them and indulging in the warmth of your skin. He then squeezed your ass and pulled you to carry you to the sofa.
He sat on it as you straddle him. He gave one last peck to your lips and started kissing down your chin, reaching that sensitive spot on your neck right below your ear as his arms pressed you harder against his body. Making you moan at the feeling of the bulging sweats under you.
"I've missed you, don't leave me, please" He whispered softly against your skin.
His phone buzzed again inside his pocket.
"Lan, wait" You pushed his head away from your body.
"What?"
"You're with Mila"
A breathy laugh made his chest bounce.
"C'mon, we were just fooling around"
"Does she know that?"
"Now you care about her?"
"It's not her. But I can't be a hypocrite. I don't want the bad karma"
"Fine" He took the phone from his pocket and dialed. After a couple of rings, you heard that damn voice coming from the speaker.
"Baby, I've been calling you for hours, where are you? Lucia and I are waiting for you to go to the marina, I promised her we would tan on the yacht today"
"Mila, we're done"
The line went silent for a few seconds. You could almost picture the shocked face on the other side of the phone.
"What?" Her voice was a thousand octaves higher.
"What you heard. Go find someone else to leach from. See ya" He hung up with the biggest grin.
"Happy?" He said as he turned off his phone and placed it to the side.
"She's going to kill you"
"Good thing I have my own personal bodyguard" He buried his face on your chest, inhaling your scent, he had missed so much.
"Oh, now I'm your bodyguard?"
"Yup, fuck Jlo's bodyguard, now I have the hottest one"
"You're such an idiot"
"As long as I'm your idiot I don't care about anything else"
You pulled him to kiss again. His hands sneaked under the sweatshirt, caressing the soft skin inside it.
"Nice outfit by the way" Hi said against your lips.
You turned to look down at it and then realized you were wearing one of the sweatshirts you had stolen from him. You had worn it nonstop for weeks after the breakup until his scent had faded.
"I'm sorry I stole it"
"It looks way better on you"
He pulled you back to resume your makeout, as your hands played with the curls at the back of his head.
"You've been awfully quiet over here..." Ellie said out loud walking the hallway. "I just want to make sure you've not killed each oth-" She stared at the scene with a terrified look on her face.
"Please tell me you weren't having sex on the sofa"
"You're about a year too late"
"Ew, please tell me that's a lie. I really, really like that sofa and I don't want to have to burn it" She stared at you, disgust all over her face.
"He's joking" You punched his side playfully.
"Promise?" she asked
"Promise"
"Ok. And, as much as I'm happy you two are back together, please take it to the bedroom and give me five so I can be far far away before you start your unholy activities"
"Three is the most we can give you" Lando stood from the sofa carrying you.
"Two" he said kissing your neck and walking toward your bedroom.
"Nooo, c'mon, stop it" Ellie rushed to her room "Just let me get dressed and I'll be out of here, please!"
"You're mean" You smiled against his lips.
"And you're mine" Hi bit your lower lip closing your door with his foot.
"Send me a message when you're done and I can return"
"See you next week!" Lando yelled back. He returned his lips to your neck, removing the only piece of clothing covering you.
"Very funny!" Was the last thing you heard before the front door slammed.
As much as it sounded like a joke, Lando was determined to make up for lost time.
Tag List: @wtrmlnsgr94, @ricsaigaslec, @ironmaiden1313, @formulas-bitch,
#f1 fiction#f1 imagine#lando norris imagine#lando norris x reader#f1 x reader#lando x y/n#f1 x y/n#lando norris fluff#f1 smut#lando norris smut
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hi i’m going feral over the dynamic w uraume, reader, and sukuna. uraume hating reader but they can’t lie and say the way she looks at now BOTH sukuna and uraume as if he were the night sky but they were thd stars in it… still, they say they don’t like her at all! annoying as she is.
even if she’s left alone with them while sukuna is out. and especially if she’s needy and wow sukuna isn’t here to fix it. ugh, uraume HATES her. totally for sure, no lie at all.
sorry it’s just such an AWOOOOBARKBARKHOOWWWLL dynamic </3
[cws] fem reader. brief mention of sukuna treating his workers poorly lmao. poly. this mainly focuses on uraume/reader.
Uraume hates you, sparingly.
There are days where they grow so annoyed by you that they fear they may have to bind their hands to keep from squeezing at your throat. But there are also days where they find their interest mildly piqued by you, and can therefore tolerate you more than usual — today is one of those days.
They stand quite a distance away as they watch you cling onto Sukuna, your face twisted into one of despair as you beg him not to make you leave (ever the drama queen). He pays you no mind, one arm keeping you from falling over yourself while the other three pack your clothes away into a trunk.
“Ryo, I don’t want to go!” Ryo. Tuh. The first time you had uttered that shortening of his name, Uraume had prepared themself to finally see you be disciplined. It was terrible enough that you referred to him as just Sukuna, but to forego that as well and address him by such a casual title?
They had been sure that you’d be sporting a bruised face for a few days, or perhaps cradling a broken limb if the master was feeling particularly slighted, but instead, Lord Sukuna had only regarded you with low, hooded eyes and a ghost of a smile.
“Your wants are of no concern to me.” Sukuna says, and Uraume vividly remembers him asking them just the other day if you ‘wanted’ for anything.
Uraume was woken by a dark presence weighing heavy on their chest, and their eyes quickly open to see Sukuna looming over them, his own eyes narrowed into slits.
“Yes, my Lord?” There’s a slight waver in their voice.
“That woman…does she want for anything?” Uraume glances to the large, open window in their room, the sun still hidden away, and then slowly turns back to the curse.
“I don’t think I understand.”
“The date of her birth is approaching.” Uraume has enough sense not to gape. The King of Curses planning on getting a birthday gift for a human of all things — how absurd! “She claims not to want anything, but you know how women are.”
Uraume blinks at the pensive look that suddenly takes over his face, one hand raising to rub at his chin. After a beat of silence, Sukuna focuses his gaze back on Uraume.
“If you have no use for your tongue, then I’ll gladly take it.”
“Forgive me, Lord Sukuna, I was just recalling what she had mentioned in passing the other day.” He silently urges them to continue. “She frequently reminisces about the fountain in her village and how she wishes she could visit it again - I assume it holds some sort of sentimental value in it.”
Both parties are well aware that the fountain has long since been destroyed; the stone holding it together having been smashed the night Sukuna single-handedly pillaged the small village, and the water, once so crystal clear your face could be reflected in it, had been stained a deep, dark red with the blood of your friends and family.
“Shit.” Sukuna seems a touch distressed, and Uraume balks. It earns them a stinging on their chest, their sleep clothes staining red before their skin quickly heals itself. “Fix your face.”
“Forgive me, Lord Sukuna.”
He ponders for a moment. “I’ll have a fountain erected in the courtyard. I’ll send her away while it’s being built - you’ll accompany her.”
Shit.
Construction was set to start today, hence why you were being driven out of the palace, and Uraume had been tasked with taking you away to a neighboring village until the fountain was completed.
Before, Uraume would have been ashamed of themself for seemingly falling so low in Sukuna’s graces that they had been demoted to a mere pet sitter, but the Lord saw you as so much more. He trusted no one with you, and had killed plenty a servants for so much as letting their gaze linger on you a bit too long, but here he was trusting you, arguably his most prized possession, in their care.
It spoke volumes of how much trust Sukuna put into them, hence Uraume’s agreeable mood.
“You’re sending me off to my death, aren’t you?” You blanche, eyes darting between the two people in your room, and Uraume gives nothing away as they watch you with a neutral expression. “They’re going to cook me, aren’t they?” You let out a harrowing moan, even going so far as to drop your head into your hands, and Sukuna regards you with a painfully patient look.
“You would have done well in the story telling business - you’re highly dramatic.” You go limp, one of Sukuna’s arms quickly snatching you up, and another one comes down to snag ahold of your chin and turn your face up to him, large fingers squishing your cheeks together. “Enough with the theatrics, woman. You’re not being killed just yet.”
“Just yet?”
“The two of you are going on a trip. It’ll be no longer than two weeks.”
“A trip to where? The afterli—!” Sukuna spins you out of his arms, and Uraume acts quickly, their own arms shooting out to steady you. “Ryomen!”
“You may leave, Uraume.”
“Yes, my Lord.”
~
Uraume had been attempting to pacify you ever since the two of you had finally reached your designation: an inn a bit of ways into the countryside.
You had annoyingly cried a good ways of the journey over, only stopping when you had fallen asleep on Uraume’s shoulder, and when you had awoken, you had stayed quiet as you sulked to yourself.
Dramatic.
The two of you were now in the bath, Uraume’s hand gently moving the soapy cloth up and down the expanse of your back. You were still quiet, something completely uncharacteristic of your usual self. Even when Sukuna left the palace for weeks at a time you didn’t act like this. Perhaps you really did believe that he sent you away to be killed…
A part of them wanted to pick at you for their own amusement, but another part of them was slightly…worried. A very minuscule part. A displeased you would inevitably lead to a displeased Sukuna, and Uraume simply refused to let that happen.
“Lord Sukuna’s business will likely be finished before two weeks.” Knowing his master, the man would ensure the workers hands didn’t stop moving until their fingers were worked to the bone - the project would surely take no longer than a week, at the latest.
You give no indication to having heard them, and Uraume rinses the soap from your skin, silently acknowledging just how soft and supple the flesh is. “Have you decided what you’ll have for dinner?”
“You mean my last meal?” You quip, and Uraume grasps the wooden bucket filled with water at their feet. “You have some nerve, Uraume. Bathing me and plumping me up before you drive the knife in. Just know that—ah!” You splutter as a wave of water comes crashing down against your head, and they reach around you to dab at your eyes with a dry cloth.
“I think a hearty soup would do you well. I noticed that your voice sounds a bit scratchier than usual. I suspect you’ll come down with a cold in a few days.” Uraume turns you so you’re facing them, and they pause when they notice the tears gathering in your eyes.
“Did he grow bored of me?” Your voice cracks, and Uraume tilts their head. Humans and their needless worries.
“You are a very silly girl.” You sniff. “We both know very well what has become of the people that bored Lord Sukuna.” Their hands move on instinct, thumbs flicking away the tears that slipped free. “Do you really believe that I would be treating you so kindly if my master had signed off on your death?”
“You dumped water on my head.”
“Lukewarm water. It could have been boiling.”
You laugh, a soft, breathy sound, and Uraume isn’t pleased to admit that they can see the appeal that Sukuna sees in you.
“Let’s quickly finish so you can eat.”
~
“Is it any better?” Uraume questions, careful of their strength as they push their fingers into the plush flesh of your waist. You had found yourself tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep, and once questioned, you had complained about a stiffness in your shoulders and lower back, prompting them to undo your robe and attempt to work the kinks out…kinks that they had yet to find.
“Mm-nn,” you sigh, cheek resting on the pillow as your lashes flutter, and they add a bit more pressure, oiled hands sliding up the sides of your waist, fingers brushing against the sides of your breasts, before they’re pushing down between your shoulder blades. “It’s…it’s lower now.”
“Lower?” They let their hands slip further down, thumbs pushing into your lower back and moving in wide, slow circles. They can feel you wiggling underneath them from where they straddle your bare behind, and Uraume focuses their ministrations in that area. “I suppose you are a bit tense - is this better?”
“L-Lower.”
Their brows furrow as they shuffle back so they’re sat atop the backs of your thighs, only for understanding to settle on their features at the slick sheen between your inner thighs. Uraume hums, a single finger moving to trace down your slit. You gasp, butt jutting out, and they tsk with a shake of their head.
“What a roundabout way to say you want me to pleasure you.” You hide your face into the blankets, and they allow their finger to push past wet, puffy lips to get to your clit. “Lord Sukuna instructed me to give you everything that you desired, and if sex is what you desire from me, then you will have it. There’s no need to beat around the bush.”
After Sukuna had first demanded that Uraume ‘teach you how to take him’, he had also given them the task of satisfying you whenever he was not around. You had only come to them twice so far - once at the end of your monthly cycle, a time where you could frequently be found moaning in Sukuna’s lap and pawing at his chest, and twice when Sukuna had ‘punished’ you by refusing to mate with you, forcing you to come to Uraume as a last, desperate resort.
You don’t answer them with words but moans, short breathless sounds that leave you with every swipe of their finger against your clit. Their free hand moves to a plump cheek, and they spread you open, eyes taking in the way your drooling hole clenches around nothing and oozes slick.
Their finger moves from your clit to your hole, and they add in another finger before slowly pushing in, silently marveling at the way your walls greedily suck them in, a low squelch sounding as your arousal bubbles up around the digits.
“Uraume,” you gasp, voice heavy with desire, and there’s a stirring in their groin that they pointedly ignore. They pull their fingers back until they slip out of you and spread them apart, your slick webbing between the two digits, and then they’re plunging them right back in. “Uraume!”
“Does this please you?” Their voice is breathier, heavier, and your ass ripples with the force from their hand hitting against you. “Or would you prefer something else? Perhaps my mouth?”
You moan out something indiscernible, but Uraume decides to take it as an enthusiastic yes, a decision that they refuse to dwell on as they push your thighs apart and lay on their stomach in between them, thumbs keeping your lips spread as they lick a long stripe up your cunt.
You gasp and twitch, and they let you move as you see fit, simply adjusting their position to keep up with you. Their tongue flattens over your bud, nose nuzzled against your clenching hole, and the scent of you nearly overwhelms them.
They venture up a tad, tongue now thrusting into you, and the heat of your pussy is enough to make beads of sweat trickle down their nose to mix in with your essence. They push in deep, tongue rubbing against your walls and curling up before withdrawing, pools of your slick collected and messily gulped down.
Uraume now understands why they so frequently catch Sukuna with his head buried between your thighs, hands keeping you pinned as he feasts on your cunt. Their master has never once eaten a meal they’ve cooked for him with such hunger and passion, and Uraume hates to admit that nothing they make could ever amount to the taste of you.
Their hands move to lock around your hips, your movements preventing them from mouthing at you the way they desperately need to, and they pay no heed to the way you sob into the sheets, pussy tightening around their tongue as you come with a breathless shriek of their name.
You relax in their hold, and they let their tongue slip from inside you, the muscle once again parting your folds to give slow, gentle licks to your twitching clit. You weakly call their name, and they pull away from you with a wet, messy kiss to the sensitive bud, hands going back to massaging into your skin as they struggle to calm their racing pulse.
Your soft snores filter into their ears a few moments later, and they observe you as they’re smacked with a new revelation.
Uraume doesn’t hate you, not one bit.
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Gossip in town
Steve Harrington x fem!reader
Summary: You and Steve love a good gossip. There's some joy in talking about other people's misery to distract from yourself from your own miserable dating life, right? Besides, that's what friends do. Right? 'Cause that's what you are. Friends.
CW/Disclaimer: Uhhhh some s m u t. Other than that just romance, banter, cute shit. Maybe the cute shit deserves a warning too.
Author's note: We love to say that Steve enjoys to gossip, so I figured I'd drabble something out. Turned a little longer than planned!
Words: 4983
“You need to make him stop coming in here, he’s ruining our brand!”
As you heard Romaine, your colleague, complain, a smile plays on your lips. That could only mean one person.
Steve.
Romaine glared at him from behind the table she was folding clothes at and he raised his brow with little interest. His sailor outfit was a stark contrast to the high-end fashion you sold in the store you worked at and you thought it was the funniest thing ever. The first week, Steve had been too embarrassed to even leave the ice cream parlor. By now, he couldn’t give two fucks. And knowing Romaine hated it only made him come by twice as often.
“Y/N, Y/N!”
His impatient calls made you giggle and you revealed yourself from around the corner to put yourself into his field of vision. He gave a nod of recognition and then started to approach you with big steps.
“I’m taking my break,” Romaine announced, in an attempt to keep you from going anywhere. One person always needed to be in the store, and it was just you two that day. Steve knew about this rule by now, so he rolled his eyes, grabbed your wrist and pulled you towards the fitting rooms.
“Still technically in the store,” he mumbled, flashing you a grin as he took note that none of the fitting rooms were being used. With one smooth move, he pulled back a curtain, nudged you inside, followed and closed the curtain again behind him. He was a little out of breath, either from excitement or because he fucking jogged to your side of the mall. Must have been a sight for sore eyes.
“You were fucking right,” he hissed, not wasting a second as he spilled the tea. You covered your mouth to prevent a gasp and he pulled your hand away as he nodded. He needed not to tell you what, or who it was about. It had been the main topic of your latest gossip, so it was obvious he was talking about Ben Swimmer, one of his old classmates. Steve rested his palm flat on the wall behind you, kind of locking you into the corner of the fitting room.
“Yes, yes keep that mouth open, cause there’s more.”
His excitement was mixed with disgust, given by his expression. His fingers tapped a rhythm on the wall. You swallowed. Not sure if that had to do with the story at all, as you looked up at him.
“No… What is it?!” you asked impatiently. Steve smirked, loving to keep you on edge, and leaned a little closer because that’s what you do when you gossip.
“He wasn’t just cheating on Tessa with Vivian, but also with Brenda…”
“No…” you whispered, giving him a look of disbelief, mouth in fact still agape. Steve cocked his hip to the other side and nodded several times in a quick motion.
“Oh yes. He came into Scoops with her just now, in broad fucking daylight. And guess who also popped up at the mall?”
“Tessa. Of fucking course.”
Steve nodded.
“Tessa. So they’re sitting there eating their ice cream with two spoons, all gooey and sickeningly adorable if he hadn’t been a dick… when Ben sees Tessa, but she hasn’t seen him yet. So I’m watching, right, and suddenly Ben looks at me and tells me to let him go out the back with Brenda.”
“Oh now he wants to talk to you. Dick.”
Steve clapped his thigh with his free hand and made a gesture.
“Right?! So I said that was against company policy and that I unfortunately couldn’t help him. And then I walked forward and accidentally knocked a chair over,” he grinned as he replayed it in his head, “gathered a bit of attention, so weird,” his eyes widened as he spoke, “Tessa’s attention too. You should’ve seen it. I wish you could’ve seen it.”
His sigh filled the small space as he leaned his head back against the thin wall of the fitting room. He knitted his brows together and dropped his hand from the wall to your shoulder, closing his eyes momentarily as he let his brain catch up with his mouth. He seemed a little lost in thought, with his hand gently massaging your shoulder and his chin tipped up towards the ceiling. He didn’t move his head as he looked down at you and you wondered if he had any idea what he looked like right now. Somehow all the adorable-ness his outfit gave him was taken away and replaced for something else by just that one glance along the bridge of his nose.
“Was she mad?” you asked.
“Oh, she was seething. Shouted all sorts of shit at him. I had a lot of cleaning to do after she threw her milkshake in his face, but it was worth it. According to Ben I’m dead by the way. So now you know who to name as a prime suspect, should I ever disappear.”
“He better not.”
Steve shrugged.
“Would be worth it.”
—
The bell above the door of Family Video clanged as you rushed in. Robin lifted her head but was clearly still counting some tapes in her head as she gave you a vague greeting and immediately focused back on her task at hand. Steve on the other hand, immediately poked his head above an aisle and approached you even before you could reach the counter.
“Jake’s gonna ask Trisha to marry him after graduation.”
You gasped and immediately punched his chest, causing him to “oomph” and giving you a look of disbelief. Before he could ask why you punched him, you gave him the answer.
“I came all the way here to tell you that! How’d you even find out?!”
Steve grinned and grabbed the hand you punched him with as he noticed you were subconsciously rubbing your fingers over your knuckles.
“Overheard Brenda and Kate talk about it here earlier,” he said with a nod towards the romcom aisle.
“Ugh,” you groaned, “for once I thought I would have something good to tell you…”
Your pout deepened as you crossed your arms, shaking off his touch. Steve simply replaced it by putting his hand on top of your folded arms, his fingers walking a path from your elbow towards your wrist.
“You did! I just knew it already,” Steve said with a chuckle. He watched you pout for a little longer as his fingers played with the hair tie on your wrist absentmindedly. You were too focused to keep up the play that you didn’t notice his hesitation.
“Hey, wanna watch a movie tonight?”
Just then, as if on cue, Robin poked her head above the horror aisle.
“Yes!”
Steve glanced backwards and smiled softly at Robin, though as he nodded his expression looked a little off. He was chewing on the inside of his cheek until he saw you nod and released some of the tension he was subconsciously holding.
“Yeah let’s. Which movie?”
Steve shrugged. He hadn’t really thought of that. By now he had watched too many to count and there were only so many times you could watch the same movie in a week. He picked up the hair tie between his fingers and let it snap back on your wrist as he bit back a smile. You glared at him playfully, looking for something you could do in return. For a moment, he watched you in stunned silence as you brought your hand up to his neck, trailing your fingers through until you reached the back and yanked at it. Steve gasped and grabbed your hand, twisting you around until he had both your hands behind your back, his chin tucked into your shoulder.
“Caught you.”
As you relaxed in his arms, his breath tickled your neck. Somehow, neither of you had noticed Robin rounding the aisle and as she stopped in front of you, an impatient huff left her lips.
“Well? What movie, guys?” Steve froze around you for a moment and you slowly felt his grip loosening until he stepped aside to check out some of the movies they had.
“Uh…”
You held onto your own arms, realizing your cheeks were heating up and you took a quick few steps towards the door.
“I’ll let it be a surprise, see you tonight! Your place, I assume?” you asked Steve without looking at him.
“Yeah, sure.”
You left and Steve busied himself browsing through the movies with his fingers without remembering any of them.
“You seemed disappointed when I joined movie night.”
Steve gave her a harmless glare.
“Huh? No I wasn’t.”
Robin gave him an empathic smile.
“If you say so.”
Steve shook his head with a laugh.
“We’re just friends, Rob. It’s not like that.”
—
3 years later
It was a Saturday night and you sat on the couch in Steve’s apartment, where you spent so much time you should honestly start paying rent. Not to mention all the products that you had in his bathroom, and the spare set of clothes in his closet. It was a little much, but your home was cramped, and it had been hard to find a place of your own that you could actually afford.
Steve had found a part time job as a basketball coach and filled the rest of his time either with you, Robin, the kids or his failed dates.
But mostly you.
“Do we really have to watch this romantic piece of bullshit?” Steve groaned, flipping over the tape in his hand. It looked small when he held it, somehow.
“Hey now,” you shushed him, “just because Jillian didn’t let you get into her pants doesn’t mean romance is a no go now. Besides, it’s my day to pick.”
You got up to put the tape in and when you sat back, his arm was already waiting for you. His blunt fingernails teased your shoulder as you settled against him.
“She would’ve let me, I was so sure of it. But after she came back from the bathroom she suddenly acted so fucking weird…” Steve mumbled as he thought back on it.
“Maybe she suddenly got her period?” you opted. That surely was something that could make you want to flee out of nowhere. Steve rolled his eyes.
“So? There are pads and tampons,” Steve sighed. They were yours, or so Steve had said when you had asked why there were pads and tampons in a little basket in his bathroom. So you didn’t have to bring your own all the time, had been his reasoning. It was sweet.
“Yeah, well, I don’t know.” “Or maybe she thought you had a girlfriend you were cheating on,” you offered gently. Steve groaned and leaned his head all the way back on the headrest.
“Robin said the same. But if I had had a female roommate no one would bat an eye, so what’s the big deal you’ve got some of your stuff in here?”
“Well, because you don’t have a roommate, I guess?” you suggested with a shrug. His fingers lay flat on your shoulder now, giving it a light squeeze on occasion as he was thinking.
“Whatever. I don’t want a girl that can’t communicate anyway. Like, remember that whole ordeal with Nigel and Yessica? All that drama when it could’ve been solved if they had just asked each other rather than leaving it up to the town’s gossip?”
“Yeah, well… at least it gives us something to discuss.”
Steve nodded, but it seemed that he already was too lost in his own thoughts.
“I want someone who’s straight forward. Honest but kind. Funny. Warm. Also witty, sarcastic… just someone I can spend all day with without being bored. Where I can fully be myself without worrying about anything,” Steve mumbled.
“They’re out there, Steve, I’m sure of it.”
He glanced at you, face a little too close for comfort.
“What about you, then? When was the last time you dated?”
“Uh… Rick.”
Steve scowled.
“Rick.”
“He was fine.”
He rolled his eyes.
“Oh please. If you told me he had bodies buried in his garden I’d believe you.”
This time you rolled your eyes, sitting up a little so he had to remove his arm.
“Yeah, of course you would, because you hated him for no fucking reason.”
Steve’s lips thinned a little but he gave you your space. Leaned back a little, though he kept his thigh against yours.
“I had many valid reasons. For one: He sucks.”
You laughed dryly and shook your head.
“That’s an opinion, not a reason. You basically chased him away.”
“For the better! You know I’m right.”
“If it were up to you, none of the guys are a good fit for me.”
Steve watched as you got up from the couch to grab a beer and wordlessly asked for one too. You sat down on the far end of the couch, away from Steve. He took a sip without removing his gaze from you and lifted one leg on the couch so he could turn to face you.
“Because they’re not.”
“So it’s me.”
Steve frowned and shook his head. Somehow he had shifted closer on the couch without you noticing. His knee touched your thigh.
“What? No. It’s all of them.”
“My standards are just too high, I guess.”
Steve shook his head, his hand finding your knee.
“Shut up, they’re not. You deserve someone who actually appreciates you. All of you.”
A silent implication there, considering he knew all about your dating life. After Rick, you hadn’t even bothered. You dated them only to numb the pain of listening to Steve’s date stories. And since for some reason Robin refused to listen to them, you were the designated person to tell.
Thanks, Robin.
“Yeah, well, so do you.”
He gazed into your eyes, his face so much closer than you had anticipated when his finger lifted your chin gently.
“I appreciate all of you,” he said softly. You watched him silently as you connected the dots of his earlier spoken words to his current ones. His thumb caressed your cheek as he chewed on the inside of his cheek.
“You’re… we’re friends,” you said softly, too scared to trust what his words implied.
“Can’t we be more?” Steve asked, his voice soft as silk.
“Can we?” you whispered.
Steve nodded, his gaze dropping to your lips as he leaned in closer.
“Yeah.”
He cupped your jaw a little stronger as he kissed you, as if he was scared you’d slip from his fingers the moment his lips brushed yours. You leaned forward, his hand resting on his chest. He let out a sweet sound when your fingers happened to brush his nipple and you used that leverage to swing your leg over his lap. His hands found your waist easily as he teared away his lips from yours to explore your neck.
“Ah, Steve,” you whispered, encouraging him to continue. You let your hands roam over his chest until that wasn’t enough and you let them dip under the hem of his shirt. He broke his attack on your neck to look at you hungrily as he lifted his arms above his head to take off his shirt, followed by a hesitant brush of his fingers along yours. With a nod, you gave him the permission to take it off and the look of appreciation at the sight made you feel warm inside. His hands found your waist again as he buried his face in your chest, licking the crevice of your boobs all the way up to your neck.
You felt how hard he was when you shifted your lips and a groan left him.
“Steve… when you said, more, what did you mean?” you asked softly.
Steve leaned back to look at you, eyes searching your face with urgency.
“I— Like, everything? Sorry— Did I… is it too much? Am I too much?” he rambled, a sudden nervosity taking over his system as his hands dropped from your body.
“No! No, Steve, you’re never too much, silly,” you told him quickly, smoothing out the frown in his forehead with your thumb. “I just wanted to make sure this isn’t like a… friends with benefits thing, for you,” you grunted out, cheeks heating up.
Steve let out a relieved sigh and his hands found your waist again, gently digging into your pliant skin.
“I’ve been your friend with benefits for all I can remember. Your kindness, sarcasm, wit, humor, honesty… all of that and more I have benefitted from for the longest time. I just… I’d want, like, to be your boyfriend with benefits. To have it all but to have all of you as well. Want you to be mine, Y/N. Mine only,” he told you sincerely. His eyes slowly turned a little mischievous as your smile relaxed and he moved his hands up to squeeze your boobs as he bit down on his bottom lip with a smile.
“And if that means I also get to, kiss you and stuff, all the better,” he said with a cheeky grin.
“And stuff, huh?” you mumbled affectionately, your thumbs finding his nipples to rub slow circles. Steve’s eyes rolled back and he nodded as he bit back a groan.
“Uh-huh,” he sighed, “god, keep doing that.” A beat. “Please.”
You smirked and rolled your hips slowly against his.
“So polite,” you murmured as your lips found his neck.
“I - ah - would like to say I was raised that way but I guess I’ve just always had it in me,” he said with a chuckle while his hands toyed with the sweatpants resting on your hips still. You laughed softly and hummed in agreement.
“It’s a little too hot for these sweats, don’t you agree?” he asked then, a finger teasing along the waistband.
“Yours too.”
“Can I keep my socks on?”
You leaned back and gave him a glare as he burst out laughing.
“See?! Rick was not fine at all.”
“Shut up. What about Layla with her “call them mommy milkers” spiel?”
Steve bit his lip with a smile.
“That never happened, actually. Tried to make you jealous and failed.”
“You thought that would make me jealous? It just made me reconsider my crush on you.”
“Ouch?”
“Just not big on the whole mommy thing.”
“Yeah, well, me neither.”
Steve kissed your collar bone and let his hands slide down your back to grab two handfuls of your ass. You let out a sweet noise, edging him on.
“Back to point one…”
“Back to Rick with his Star Wars socks during sex…”
He pushed you against him, rolling his hips just in time. Not even Rick with his socks on could ruin this feeling for you. Steve moaned softly into your neck as he found just the right angle for the best amount of friction.
“He came within a minute.”
“Assumed as much. Could tell you were lying your tits off when you said it was somewhere between two and five minutes. As if anyone times that.”
“You said you could last fifteen.”
“Cause I can!”
“So you timed it,” you told him dryly.
Steve rolled his eyes and pushed down your sweats, making you get up to take them off so he could do the same.
“I can last as long as you need,” he promised you, “and look, my socks are off.”
“Still wearing too much clothes,” you mumbled as you snapped the waistband of his boxers. Steve laughed and turned you around so your back was facing the couch. His lips traveled down your chest as he unclasped your bra with one hand, not wasting a second to circle his tongue around one of your nipples as his fingers squeezed the other not too gently, eliciting a yelp from you. You yanked at his hair and he laughed breathily around your nipple.
“Like it when you do that,” he admitted. “Nearly had me chub up when you did it that one time.”
He didn’t need to tell you which time. It had been the one and only time you both had let it come a little too close for comfort. At least, too close to keep up the pretense that you weren’t into each other.
“Could tell. Your cheeks turned pink.”
Steve’s lips explored your stomach while his hands squeezed and fondled your curves. He hooked his fingers around your underwear and easily pulled them down while his lips followed the fabric until there was nothing covering your pussy. He barely let you step out of them before he pushed you down on the couch and lifted your legs over his shoulders. He took his sweet time kissing up your thighs, though you could feel through the tremble of his fingers that he was as impatient and nervous as you were. You had been watching him worship your thighs with his eyes closed, but the moment his lips wrapped around your clit he gazed up at you through his lashes.
“Steve…”
He grinned against your skin and slowly licked a stripe along your swollen lips, gathering juices to slicken up your clit with. Your hand was back in his hair before you knew it, his head bobbing as he started to eat you out hungrily. Noisily. Hands digging into the plush of your thighs as he opened them wider for better access. That fucker knew he was good at this.
Your hips bucked up to grind against him in tune with your moans and he strengthened his grip to keep in control of the pace, which he then brutally slowed down. You were about to complain when suddenly he went to town on you at full speed, his nose hitting your clit just right. The grip on his hair was none too gentle and you felt his warm moans vibrating against you. His tongue lapped at you impatiently, eyes focused on your flushed expression. He relished in the feeling of your thighs tightening around his face when you came all over his tongue.
He bullied your clit a little longer, smirking against your thigh before kissing it as you pinched his cheek to stop him. When he got back on his feet, you noticed his boxers had disappeared without you noticing. His cock was hard, the head slick from precome.
Wordlessly, you shifted on the couch and grasped his thighs to pull him close. He cupped your cheek, unable to hold back a moan as you wrapped your lips around the head and sucked none too gently. Soon enough, his hand was holding your hair in a makeshift ponytail despite letting you decide on the pace. You loved taking control. When you looked up as you bobbed your head noisily, he threw his head back with a groan. He needed to look away if he wanted this to last longer than a goddamn minute. You smirked around his cock and picked up the pace, relentlessly taking more and more of his length until your nose brushed the coarse hair above his base.
“Jesus Christ, Y/N…”
He couldn’t help himself, his grip tightened on your hair and you felt him quickly thrust his hips. You let him and absently realized this was the first time you enjoyed the salty taste of his come in the back of your throat. He broke it off halfway, giving your cheek a sweet caress before turning around to grab a condom that he apparently stored in the drawer of the coffee table. You impatiently slapped his ass, making him yelp and accidentally tearing the first condom.
“Menace, that was a perfectly fine condom,” he complained with his back to you, and you could tell he was smiling. You shrugged and leaned forward giving the spot you slapped a kiss instead. And then a nibble.
“Your ass looks biteable, y’know that?” you mumbled, kneading his ass with a longing sigh as you remembered all the times his ass had looked so good in his jeans.
Steve laughed.
“Yeah, well, so does yours.”
He turned around, condom wrapped and ready, though Steve seemed to hesitate.
“Second thoughts?” you asked, unable to filter your worries.
Steve scoffed and shook his head.
“Of course not, silly. I just— Come on.”
He grabbed your hand to pull you up and started guiding you to the bedroom.
“Want you to be comfortable,” he explained, and if that didn’t make you melt…
He propped up some pillows just perfectly and made sure you were comfortable before he positioned himself above you.
“You’re so beautiful,” he said softly, leaning down to kiss the part of your body that covered the heart that carried so much love for him. His hand slipped between you two, playing with you some more so he was certain you’d feel good once he’d go inside. He kissed you deeply, slowly, really taking his time compared to your first kiss. You both loved kissing. It was one of the many things you had shared complaints about when your dates weren’t into it as much. You had lost count how many times you had mentioned you could kiss for hours, secretly thinking of the other person.
Steve gazed into your eyes as he pushed inside slowly, his breath hitching as the sensations overtook his body. He moved without a rush, relishing being able to watch your expression as he fucked into you. His moans escaped from his lips whenever your lips weren’t against his to silence them. His tongue darted out to lick your ear and a gasp left you as he moved down and bit your neck. Your nails scratched his back as his thrusts became harder, your moans no longer contained by the press of your lips. You wrapped your legs around his hips, allowing him to fuck deeper. Sweat dripped from his forehead, mixing with yours as droplets found a way into your hairline.
“Y/N… baby, fuck…”
Slow, hard thrusts helped him ride out his orgasm while his hand flicking over your clit got you clenching around his cock until you knocked over the edge. The muscles in his arms were shaking as he kept himself from collapsing on top of you, so you poked his side to make him collapse anyway.
“Oof,” you groaned, followed by a laugh.
“I was trying not to crush you,” Steve mumbled into your neck, humming pleasantly as he inhaled your shampoo.
“Maybe I wanted you to crush me. Needed some pain to know if this was all real.”
“Sure hope it’s real. Never came this hard.”
You snorted.
“It didn’t take fifteen minutes, though,” you told him, even though you had no idea.
“I told you I’d last as long as you needed me and uh, by the way you tried to clench my dick off I think I did just fine,” he responded cockily through a giggle.
“Touché,” you mumbled.
“Mmmm.”
Steve gave you a kiss, slowly, sweetly. He rested his head next to yours, slowly moving his body off of you in favor to pull your leg over his waist as he cuddled you close.
“Would it be too soon to tell you that I love you?” Steve asked, looking at you with what you could only describe as love in his eyes.
“Normally that’s a definite red flag, even you said so,” you said teasingly as you combed your fingers through his damp chest hair. “But if I said I love you too, then that would make two red flags, and two negatives is a positive, right?”
Steve shrugged, a smile spreading on his face.
“I’m sure there’s an argument against that, but I was never good at math anyway.”
“Me neither.”
Steve smiled and put his hand on top of yours.
“I love you.”
You leaned in for a soft kiss.
“I love you too.”
He watched you quietly, content and happy. At least, until a frown formed on his forehead and he cursed softly.
“What is it?”
“I lost the bet.”
You pushed lightly against his chest.
“This better not be one of those movie plots where you pretend to fall in love with someone for a bet and then supposedly actually fall for them and shit,” you tell him with narrowed eyes, although you knew Steve would never do that.
Steve laughed and shook his head.
“Nah, Robin bet me that I’d sleep with you the moment we’d confess our feelings to each other, and yes I say each other because she was convinced you liked me too and I did not believe her. So I said bet, because I thought this,” he said as he gestured between you both, “was never gonna happen. So… yeah. Well. No regrets, though, obviously,” he mumbled, stealing another kiss.
“What did you bet for?”
“Taking her shift every Saturday, even if that means a double shift for me,” Steve groaned, “and you know what she said? She said: ‘It will be for the better, because I know you two. I don’t wanna be around when you fuck like rabbits in the adult section.’ as if we’d ever—”
You gave him a look.
“Okay, she was probably right but still! Ruthless, that one.”
“She’s gonna be soooo smug…” you mumbled.
“Yeah, it’s gonna be hell.”
“I’ll just ravish you on a random Tuesday to torment her,” you shrugged and Steve laughed.
“I like the sound of that.”
“Thought you would.”
His hand wandered over your thigh and he smirked slowly.
“Wanna take a shower? There’s a girl who left basically all her toiletries here so I’m sure there’s something you can use.”
“How convenient.”
“Very.”
Steve’s gaze was absolutely smitten, and you were pretty sure your expression matched his perfectly.
FIN
If you enjoyed reading this, please know that comments and reblogs are highly appreciated :) Likes are lovely but sadly do nothing to spread the fics around! Help your favorite writers (not saying me - in general) out like that so you can continue to enjoy consuming the free work they put out, it's a win-win.
#steve harrington#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x fem!reader#steve harrington fanfics#stranger things fanfics#joe keery
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Sylus SFW/NSFW Headcanon/s
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A/n: I genuinely couldn’t resist. I’m sorry. This is also my first time writing headcanons that are NSFW! I hope you like it! And I based Sylus on that anonymous man that Rafayel was talking to, while it’s definitely inaccurate, I didn’t know where to base him from aside from the leaked trailer, I hope you like this one!
Masterlist
Pairing: Sylus x AFAB Reader
Warning: NSFW Up ahead! This is for 18+ readers. Stockholm Syndrome, TOXIC! Obsessive love, unhealthy relationship. Degradation
Tell me if I left a warning out, I’ll update this immediately.
Credits: The line dividers are from Kaomoji; the art is from Love and Deepspace ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
SFW: ✧ He’s the kind of person who won't hold back. After you were handed to him like a free meal, he decided that whatever you discussed with Xavier and Rafayel would fail, and he’d ensure it. Even if the plan was to infiltrate Onychinus, he would absolutely make sure it failed.
✧ When Rafayel handed you over to him, he was so elated that he ordered his men to take you to his home as soon as you were drugged, where you’ll be kept trapped. Unlike the other male leads, he isn't upfront but rather lurks in the shadows, stalking your every move.
✧ Even though he acknowledges your capability and doesn’t see you as a weakling, he will ensure you remain completely obedient to him. If you try to escape, he will isolate you further, providing only food and water to keep you alive. In his view, isolation is the most effective method of punishment, especially if it means breaking your spirit to force your obedience.
✧ He despises you. He hates how you make him feel like he's dependent on your presence, while you, on the other hand, don’t even know him, to himself, you were his whole world. Sylus won’t tell you how easy it is for you to have him under your thumb.
✧ You may hate him for your own reasons, and he can see it in your eyes. Yes, he might have been responsible for the explosion that took your childhood friend and grandmother, but it wasn’t entirely intentional. He didn’t expect you to come home so early that day; it was a miscalculation on his part. He won’t tell you that though, he likes seeing you so focused on him with an emotion you would never feel for the other men in your life. The hatred fuels him.
✧ Now while he’s lenient with you growling and squirming like a mutt, if you try to bite and hurt him back, he’s going to make sure to put a collar around your neck, you’re being a bad pet. He’ll make sure that you drop that disobedience before he’s forced to make it leak out of you instead.
✧ If you start to relax, or simply get tired of trying to escape, he will reward you by letting you go out with him. However, if you try to speak or ask for help, the collar around your neck will inject you with drugs that will turn your brain to mush, ensuring you won’t betray him in public. Not that anyone would dare to save you; he’s confident a few people recognize him.
✧ Oh, don’t take him as someone reckless though, he takes extra measures to prevent you from acting out. Once he implements those safety measures, he’ll be happy to buy you outfits that fit his aesthetic, or anything you’d like really. Sometimes he’ll be nice to you, only sometimes.
✧ I think it’s obvious how he shows his hatred and love for you in these headcanons, he’s going to make sure to tear down that confidence you have, he’ll break you. One of his methods would be to have you be eaten by guilt till you start blaming yourself instead of him. He’s good with his words, he wouldn’t be gaining such loyal followers without it. ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
NSFW:
✧ BRAT TAMER TO THE FULLEST, he wouldn’t let you act out at all, if you tried, he’s gonna have you bent over the wall while he smacks your ass, making sure his handprint stays marked there. Till you can’t sit down comfortably, actually he won’t even let you test if you can sit down properly, cause he’ll have you sitting on his lap, it can be during a meeting with his trusted companions, imagine a console table with almost 10 people along with him in front, while people are discussing their plans, you can’t even hear it properly cause of how deep his fingers are pumping in and out, his thumb pressing on your clit. If you let out a yelp he'd chuckle before nipping on your ear.
“Quiet, you’re distracting them” he’d murmur while squeezing your waist as a warning.
✧ While he gives off a vibe of being a dominant top if you want to ride him, he’ll let you, however with the condition that you make him cum before you do, which fails! Cause he has a pretty good endurance, you poor girl. Once he wins, he’ll flip you down, pinning your arms up while spreading your legs further, hand pressing on your soft tummy.
“Can’t even ride properly huh? You want me to do all the work pretty girl?"
✧ HATE SEX is one of his favorites, once you get the privilege to go out, if he ever sees you try to speak to another man aside from the bodyguards, he sent to watch over you while he’s busy, he’s going to use that as a reason to leave multiple marks on your body, specifically your neck. You can’t even hide it, along with the bite marks on your thighs. Oh right, not like anyone can see it, you’re forbidden from going out till he milks you of every orgasm he can pull out of you for the next few days.
✧ The type to finger you while you’re in public, if you’re wearing something short, like a skirt, he’ll lift it up, sliding his hand underneath your panty before fingering you. Make sure you don't make too much noise now, or people will notice, slut.
✧ He’s messy, the type to eat you out like a man starved, watch him suck on your clit while he pushes his fingers on your sweet spot, he had his arms wrapped around your thighs just so you don’t try to run away from his skillful tongue, the type of man to make you squirt and once he does he gets drunks over your taste, pulling away a bit just to look at you,
“One more, I know you can take it” he’d say before giving your puffy clit a kiss."
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace sylus#sylus x reader#lads sylus#sylus smut#i'm in love with him please help#l&ds x reader#l&ds
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