#I hate tagging anything on any website what do I even tag this as

[polymathial]

Small analysis on the “true” names of the characters The Doctor & The Master:

Recently I saw a post about how Theta means death, and I thought why the hell not look up what Koschei means (outside of the villain archetype) and he means deathless. It had me thinking - these names that the fandom seems to have chosen from hints and archetypes are scarily accurate.

Theta; the meaning of death, the hero where we are constantly shown as the hero, is a morally gray character. They are never at the hands of death, they are death’s hands. They never welcome death, and may never die. But they welcome upon the deaths of others even unintentionally. To the point where they murder another child to protect their other half.

Koschei; the deathless, the villain which the hero can never rid of. They have “died” several times, and we are led to believe they’re really dead every time. But like a cancer that our hero can’t get rid of, they come back again and again. They are the hands of the universe, driven with a madness so pure sometimes it can be seen as beautiful.

These two are unable to be without each other, The Doctor, our Theta, cannot exist without the Master, our Koschei. To exist without the deathless brings the universe pure fury and destruction. They are two sides of the same coin, and I wonder if the fandom is even aware of how these names represent their characters so well.

[genderqueerdykes]

honestly, as a trans woman who's running a fairly 'popular' or whatever queer blog, i've noticed so much shit in the past 2 years and i'm just gonna lay it out for y'all. it's a new year. it's 2025. i do NOT wanna carry any more of this bullshit forward. i'm calling everything for what it is. if this pisses you off, unfollow or block and move on.

as someone else put it in the tags on one of my other posts:

i am sick and tired of not talking about extremely important queer conversation topics for the sake of "keeping the peace".

this is not giving trans women and transfemmes a better quality of life to attack literally every every and all trans men for being trans men. it's making people fucking scared shitless of us. i hope people realize this isn't helping improve the opinion other people have on trans women and transfemmes. it's making people absolutely fucking terrified to even exist around us, because we've gotten to the point where we're attacking literally everyone and anyone who says something we don't like. people are fucking terrified of talking around transfemmes and trans women and it's time we broke the silence on that.

other transfemmes and trans women: do you seriously, really want other trans people to be scared to death of you? do you really want other trans people to be absolutely fucking terrified to speak around you because they're scared of getting fucking yelled at? do you really want other trans people to be utterly terrified to speak up about their own trans issues for fear of being told they hate you? do you really want other people around you to feel utterly terrified to talk about anything queer related at all for fear of being corrected, looked down upon, or verbally harassed?

i am just completely done with this environment we've fostered where basically everyone is on pins and goddamn needles holding themselves back from having real, genuine, impactful, substantial conversations about gender because they're absolutely scared shitless of being called transmisogynistic and publicly cancelled and harassed at all times for saying something as simple as "trans men don't have it easy" or talking about how AFAB people can also be trans. it really does not take much at all to set people off on this website and start accusing people of being transmisogynists left right and center.

i'm not participating in this weird mind game anymore. i do not like how this is being used to control the narrative on transness and trans experiences.

i am done with having to walk on eggshells in every. single. conversation. we have about gender.

i am done with acting like talking about transmasculinity and transmanhood is somehow magically attacking and silencing trans women and transfemmes.

i am done with people having to tack on massive disclaimers saying that they're not attacking trans women and transfemmes just for talking about their experiences on just about every post people write about gender.

i feel like every conversation about gender on here has to be so fucking sterile and calculated and meticulously planned out and stripped of most of its contents in order to not immediately get slammed with a "oh so you hate trans women" or a "oh so you're transmisogynstic." it's fine to point out genuine transmisogyny, i'm not gonna say you have to put up with it when it's real, but can we acknowledge that people are leveraging the fear other people have of being called transmisogynistic to shut people up?

at this point it's being used as a scare tactic and i'm so over it. i loathe how accusing people of being transmisogynistic is a default insult. trans men can't make a post about transmasculinity without someone getting pissed off and calling them transmisogynistic. trans men can't talk about a goddamn thing without being told to shut up, for some reason? why is this happening? like literally why are you doing this? trans men can't talk about ANYTHING at this point. like they needed to be able to coin words for the specific types of oppression they face so they could talk about it, and instead they just get fucking yelled at and told they're being copycats and that the violence they faced wasn't real? what the actual hell is this accomplishing?

why are we acting like we own oppression and no one else can even come close to understanding what its like? come on now, we don't own the goddamn concept of oppression. we also don't own transness. i am sick to death of this idea that transfemininity and trans womanhood are the only "real" ways to be trans. we do not own the concept of transness. it's not just about us. "trans rights" applies to more than just us. it can't be about us all the time. WE are the ones being self centered right now. WE are the ones who are forcing the conversation to be about us in situations where it's completely and totally inappropriate.

we need to say it for what it is: we're fostering an environment where, at this point, only trans women and transfemmes are allowed to talk about anything queer related at this point. like can we call it for what it is? for some reason, trans men and transmascs aren't allowed to talk about trans manhood or transmasculinity at all. ever. they're not allowed to say a fucking peep. they have to shut up and listen to a trans woman explain it to them, because for some reason, the trans woman knows trans manhood better than the trans man. this is out of fucking control, we should not have trans women explaining trans manhood to other people unless they are also a trans man. this is just unacceptable. transfems attack transmascs who speak for transfems, and yet this is seen as good and the norm?

you are not cool if you hate trans men and misgender them on purpose. this isn't feminist. this isn't progressive. you're not getting back at the patriarchy- most trans men do not benefit from patriarchy and never will- you would understand this if you listened to them. instead of talking over and for trans men, and listening to people who talk over and for trans men, if you listened to trans men, the source, you'd understand that no, transmasculine lives are NOT easy and no, trans men do not instantly benefit from patriarchal society if at all, ever. if you listened you'd understand that T doesn't make people aggressive and hostile and evil. if you listened you'd understand that there are a lot of wonderful, loving trans men out there are who are not transmisogynistic just by virtue of existing.

nobody is saying that we want to you prioritize men over trans women when we talk about trans men's rights. we're not saying that we need to talk about men all the time and never talk about women, and that men are the only ones allowed to talk, now. we really have to let multiple people participate in conversations. we can't keep doing this thing where One Gender Has To Be Superior Over another. that's gender essentialism. why must you keep yourself trapped inside the binary like that? why are you so desperate to stay stuck inside of the machine that's trying to destroy you?

challenging someone else's transphobia is not being transphobic. challenging someone else's behavior is not hating them or their gender. criticism is not an attack on trans womanhood and transfemininity. transfemmes are trans women are not immune to criticism and we need to stop acting like we are. we're not. we've created an echo chamber where only trans women and transfemmes are allowed to talk right now and it's not transmisogynistic to point that out, because it's literally happening before our eyes.

if we're demanding that other people treat us better, why are we treating other people like shit in the process to get it?

stop silencing other people talking about other trans experiences. transfemininity and trans womanhood are not the only ways to be trans. stop forcing yourself into conversations you don't belong in. if you don't want trans men do that, don't do it as a trans woman. don't barge into conversations you have literally 0 stock in just to be rude and mean and make the conversation about trans women instead. let other people talk. this has gone on for way too long.

let. other. trans. people. talk. we shouldn't have let it get this bad. but i'm not letting it stay this bad. if you want to accuse people having genuine conversations about transness of being transmisogynistic just because they're not a trans woman, then feel free, i'm not gonna stop you, but i'm not listening to you. i don't care anymore. i'm sick to death of not being able to have REAL conversations on here because some people don't like being reminded that they are not the only people who suffer under cisheteronormative patriarchy. if you can't accept that you are not the only one who suffers under patriarchy and that men need to be liberated from patriarchy as well, then i'm not interested in having a conversation with you to begin with.

seriously, if any of this bothers you, please just block me. i'm not participating in these dumb ass little mind games anymore. i do not give a singular shit about offending people who think this behavior is okay. i spent way too long being afraid to speak up about real world issues because of shitty internet trolls. i don't give a fuck if someone you don't like speaking about their experiences hurts your feelings- you are the problem here.

this is affecting real people in real time and i care about that. i care about people, not stupid ideologies and fighting over who is or isn't "really trans". i care about people, not fighting over labels. open your mind and understand that is is about real ass people, and not just ideologies. trans men and mascs are real ass people. they're not antagonists made specifically to attack and piss off transfemmes and trans women. enough of this.

[pieandflannel]

Hi! Wanted to ask you if you can write a Dean/Soldier Boy/ Russell story where reader is a type 1 diabetic, a bit on the plus size maybe has a love-hate relationship with food. It can be however you want, that if you are comfortable writing this. It’s just there’s not much representation of type 1 diabetics out here and yeah. Thank you! Hope you have a great day or night!!

⋆˙ ⋆⭒ dating them as a type 1 diabetic reader

pairing: dean winchester/soldier boy/russell shaw x gn!reader

cw: fluff.ᐟ type 1 diabetic reader.ᐟ body insecurity.ᐟ slight mention of intercourse.ᐟ

julia yaps: hiii thank you for my first request! i was so excited! sorry it took a while! honestly i had to research a bit as I wasn’t very educated about this topic, i apologise if something is incorrect, i tried my best to make a cute lil headcanon for the diabetic community. <3

────────── 🍬 ──────────

⟢ dean winchester

after finding out about your condition, dean would first research the hell out of every website he can find to educate himself.

then, he’d start checking up on you like a puppy, especially during hunts or cases that involve hiking, chasing, fighting monsters, or anything that could mess with your blood glucose.

when you’re having some alone time with him, dean would pepper you with soft kisses in the places you feel most insecure about, taking his time on your inner thighs and cute belly—all to remind you that he finds you beautiful, no matter how much you weigh.

he even has a secret stash of sweets in the impala that not even he dares to touch. it’s strictly for you, and he makes that very clear. he once even scolded sam for taking a bounty bar. yes, sam is a bounty type of person.

────────── ୨ৎ ──────────

⟢ soldier boy (ben)

when ben finds out about your condition, he makes sure you have the best healthcare possible, no matter the cost. to him, his baby is priceless, and you always come first. he doesn’t really know any other way to help you other than pay for whatever you need.

not being the most tech-savvy, he gets hughie to sit down at the laptop and help him research more about diabetes. after all, he’s basically a grandpa when it comes to technology.

despite not being a fan of owning pets, other than fish, he even offers to get you a service dog if it would help.

whenever he notices you quietly sighing at yourself in the mirror, he walks up behind you, wraps you in a tight back hug, and whispers how sexy he finds you, making sure you know just how attractive you are in his eyes.

────────── ୨ৎ ──────────

⟢ russell shaw

russell is honestly such a sweetheart. after you open up about your condition, he comes back from the store with a whole bag of sweets and treats. “i didn’t know what you usually eat, so i just grabbed a bit of everything.”

he always keeps a pack of your favorite soft drinks in the fridge in case of an emergency.

he openly asks you questions about your condition to educate himself on the topic, genuinely listening and taking in the information.

whenever you’re on a restaurant date, he notices your subtle sigh as you eye the items you shouldn’t have on the menu. as a small gesture of his love and support, he ends up ordering the same thing as you so you don’t feel left out.

thank you so much for reading! feedback and reblogs are always deeply appreciated <3

no tags today!

𑁥౿ check out my masterlist for other works!

♡ see this post to be added to the taglist!

© pieandflannel – do not plagiarise or repost any of my work!

© reserved for photo/gif owners!

[trainsinanime]

Is there a specific scientific term for what I'll call "harm construction", meaning "thinking of ways that something harms someone in order to condemn it"? There must be, right? I see it all the time and it's not new. Let me give some examples in random order.

One of the first cases where I really remember it was at least a decade ago, an online article by a British newspaper, about how an online store had put a pole dancing pole in their toys section. A bit of an embarrassing mistake but nothing more.

However, that article provided several quotes from a British couple who said they were very worried, because their kid could have seen that. It seems pretty clear that their kid did not, in fact, actually see it, but the newspaper treated their concern as if it was a genuine thing to worry about. It was utterly ridiculous.

A more recent example is a call-out ask I received a few months ago and, of course, immediately deleted, but it's still been living rent-free in my head since then, because it was so horribly bad. I'll not repeat the exact wording, but they were annoyed that their victim blog (which I don't follow and haven't for years, if ever, and they don't follow me) was annoying and sometimes said mean things. They very ineptly tried to explain that this might have been part of the reasons why someone else, completely unrelated, sent out hate messages to yet another person. That was the harm that was so big that it supposedly justified a targeted harassment campaign. (If you're the person who wrote that call-out ask, please rethink your life. You were only increasing the hate in the world, not making anything better. I suspect the sender wasn't anyone who actually follows me, but just in case).

The biggest and most prominent example of harm construction right now is of course all about trans people, bathrooms and school sports. Conservatives and TERFs alike need a reason to oppose the existence of trans people beyond "I personally find them weird", because saying that out loud gets them correctly branded as bigots. How do you turn "let's be really mean to a marginalised group" into a progressive cause? By saying that the existence of this group causes harm. The problem with that is that trans people existing does not actually cause any harm, it's literally fine.

So in an effort to construct harm after all, they have searched far and wide for something that trans people could even theoretically damage, and the only things they managed to come up with are "there might be someone with unexpected genitals behind that bathroom stall door" and "the sanctity of gender-segregated sports". If it weren't for their cultural and political power then it would almost be funny how little potential harm they managed to find and how much they have to amplify it. They're just another couple in the newspaper worried that their kid might potentially see a website.

If you look for it, harm construction is everywhere, because we all sort of agree on a surface level that dividing people into "normal, acceptable" and "weird, must be punished" isn't nice, but the instinct to punish people for being "weird" is still alive and well and many people refuse to question it.

At a completely different end, anytime someone uses the word "normalisation" about a fanfic on Ao3, that's another example. We all know making blorbos do weird things doesn't actually hurt anybody (assuming proper tagging and so on), but we still want to punish people who do it wrong. So we construct harm, by arguing that seeing something on Ao3 might "normalise" the thing and make it more likely that someone will do it in real life.

These examples are very different, at very different ends of almost all scales of power and cultural influence and meaning, but the core idea is always the same. So, yeah. There must be a better term for this.

[daylighted]

kill ur self

hi! this is my first time logging on in two weeks, just to check up on things as i said i would before i fully disappeared. one week into my absence, you decide to send an exact verbatim cause for the reason i left in the first place.

tw for discussions of suicide

last year and this year, i tried to kill myself twice. four times in total. i've gotten everything i could ever want and had it all taken away from me and had nothing countless times in between and during these dark periods of my life.

never once, ever, until seven months ago when i joined this website, have i been told to do this. and in seven months, i've gotten it four times. if i had a quarter for each time, i'd have a dollar, when i shouldn't have even one. no one should.

i bring all of this up to remind so many of you of something that shouldn't even be needing to be said. no one owes you anything. not the celebrity you wish to behave like the version of them that you have in your mind. not your coworker, or peer, or even your best friend. definitely not the real person behind the computer screen of someone who, at the very least, you choose to keep up with. whether following or being a casual viewer in the orbit of the person you message.

i am twenty three years old. i have a bunch of puppies and i want a bunch more. i write a lot of the time, and read sometimes. these are all of the facts that you know for certain about me, and that is it. you do not know the struggles that i go through and neither do i know yours, though i assume you have plenty with the casualty you and so many others have with telling strangers on the internet behind an anonymous tag to end their lives.

what would you have done if i had killed myself over this message? if everything i've gone through so far, testing my strength, was completely tipped over the edge with this message? what if someone else you told to kill themselves' lives did? would it not weigh on you that your cruelty to someone that you don't even really know besides your own perception, was so affected by your blatant disdain for human empathy and kindness, that they ended their life? would you not feel guilty that you wallow in your misery and get to live on but that person that you hurt didn't?

i literally do not care what any of you think about me or my decisions. i truly do not. the thing that hurts me the most in any sort of death threat or hateful message i receive is the way that it is done so callously.

people are told to get thicker skins instead of instilling a sense of empathy and love in the ones who grow up to make monstrous and hurtful decisions. when did it become so normalized for people to want to hurt others; an action that doesn't even bring the person peace afterwards? even if you have the intention of lashing out to disregard your own hatred, that is never the case.

i truly hope you find peace within yourself. everyone manages their hurt and their pain differently, but it is not an excuse to use it as a weapon. and it is certainly not your right or your authority to dictate the fate of the people you yourself surround yourself with.

[olderthannetfic]

Hi, I sent you these asks around six months ago, and now that I’ve stumbled across your blog again, I have a few things I want to say.

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/762407704596709376/do-you-have-any-idea-where-one-might-post-smut

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/762779259041398784/ive-been-sending-that-ask-to-anyone-and-everyone

First of all I just want to say that it was incredibly rude of me to ask you about this, or anyone i was reaching out to here on Tumblr tbh. I still have my issues with AO3’s content, but honestly I think my personal opinions on AO3 are beside the point. I wasn’t aware you worked on AO3 when I sent that ask, but I was looking for people who posted about AO3 to ask, which. I don’t really know what I expected. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.

As for finding a different site to engage with my fandoms on, I never did. I tried neocities for a while. I spent about 2 ish months figuring out how to get the website to work how I wanted it to. I got all my fics on their own pages, with a (really janky tbh) “tagging” system with pages for all my multi chapter fics, all my oneshots, etc. I was really proud of it!

And then I had no fandom, because Wattpad was the only place where I talked to people about my fandoms. And without anywhere else to advertise my neocities, nobody was ever gonna find it. And it destroyed my enjoyment of writing altogether. I held on for a few months, writing things even if it felt pointless and I really didn’t want to tbh. I never enjoyed writing to nobody like this to begin with. But I made myself keep going anyway until I couldn’t stand looking at the words I wrote. And then I’d “post” it, and nobody would read it anyway, and I sure as fuck wasn’t going to look at it anymore to read it again myself. So it was basically like before with my google drive, but a google drive I spent 2 months troubleshooting and setting up myself, and with confirmation that no, even if it is visible now, nobody wants to see it anyway. And I did this for months. Just me, screaming into the little void I made for myself. Every time I’d post something to nobody, it made me hate the whole process a little more. And I STILL had no community, even a small one, which is what I wanted to find in the first place.

I’ve since deleted both my neocities, and every fanfic I’ve ever written. Not only have I not found what I was looking for, I’ve made writing unenjoyable for myself now too. You were all right and I failed spectacularly, just like you said I would. I now have no community, none of my old writings, and I’ve killed my muse.

You were right. But now I don’t have anything to share anyway, and honestly? I really, really, really don’t want to write anymore, and now I don’t have anything old I could even try AO3 with. So I think the part of my life when I wrote things is just over now. You were all right and I was an idiot, and now I’m an idiot with one less hobby that used to make me happy. And now I’m completely giving up, like some other people said I would too.

I’m sorry I was rude to you, you didn’t deserve that. I just wanted you to know you were right.

--

The muse will resurface eventually. Having long periods of I Will Never Write Again is pretty common, but they generally end.

[bakugosbratx]

hear me out…a fic where fem reader doesnt mind getting kidnapped by katsuki, and katsukis just like “🤯🤯🤯????!?!”

TW: Yandere themes, yelling, anger, cursing, Stockholm syndrome, implied abuse, etc.

Tags: @peachyquing @milkthistletea @bakugous-trauma @gazelle-des-pres @thisbicc @sickchildren @bakugousbrat @vinny-likes-to-play21 @ssplague @ebiharachan @fransuki @angie-1306 @rainne-cloud

“What the hell?!” Katsuki exclaims in frustration as you sit there, full of glee, munching on your rice. It’s been almost two weeks since Katsuki was thoughtful enough to bring you to his quarters against your will. But there’s just one issue.

You don’t seem to mind it.

You did not argue, you did not put up a fight. Hell, you did not even attempt to escape. You obeyed his commands — for the most part — and are very grateful for anything he does for you.

This infuriated Katsuki.

Sure, in all honesty, this is the best case scenario. You are complying with his wishes, but that is not what he wanted. You are not challenging him. He does not even have to break you down. And that was the most fun part about this experience.

And you just stole that away from him.

How dare you, Y/N? Do you think you are better than him? More clever than Katsuki could ever be? Is that what all this boils down to?

Before you could take another bite of your rice, Katsuki’s large calloused palm swipes the bowl out of your grasp, sending it flying across the room along with the remnants of your meal. You tilted your head in confusion as you gazed at him.

“I wasn’t finished with that.” You huffed, a childish pout forming on your features. Katsuki, on the other hand, did not seem to mind nor care.

“I don’t give a damn about your rice.” Katsuki growled, his palms sparking ever so slightly with each haggard breath he takes.

You did not even flinch.

“Why?” Katsuki finally asked after a long moment of silence. You arched a brow. “Why..?” You trailed off in confusion. Katsuki became even more agitated and picked you up to hold you to his level. His nails dug into your skin, his grip like a vice that you could not breakfree.

That is, if you wanted to.

You did not even react.

“Don’t play stupid with me, Y/N! Why won’t you fight back? Why do you obey my every command? Why don’t you fuckin’ hate me?!” Katsuki barked, shaking you. You could not help but giggle.

“Oh, Suki. Why would I try to run when this is the best life I’ve ever had?” You smiled as if it was obvious. “You feed me, keep me company, give me a nice place to live. I would be stupid to give this up. If anything, I should be thanking you.”

Katsuki studied you, trying to find any deceit dancing in the depths of your pupils. But he could find none. Which only made him even more angry.

“Well, quit fuckin’ doin’ that. It’s so damn annoying.” Katsuki grumbled before setting you back down, harshly. He stormed off to his office to cool down. You were not sure what to make of this exchange but you cleaned up the mess of the rice before going back to enjoying your favorite anime.

©bakugosbratx

All Rights Reserved — I don’t give anyone permission to repost, distribute, copy or re-use my works in any way. Especially not on other websites such as Tik Tok, Ao3, Wattpad, etc.

[yurunivo]

Sypnosis: In which, you show your husband the fanfics and ai bots of himself

TW: fluff, implied suggestive at the end, MDNI just in case, very poor writing, basic plot, english is not my first language

Characters: Pro player!Itoshi Rin x fem!reader

It was no secret that your husband, THE Itoshi Rin loves to spoil you, considering that you are his wife, but sometimes you like to think that your privellages might have been too much. Especially since you used your phone that he bought you for some really weird reasons.

Currently, you were just watching edits of your husband. It was really obnoxious that most of the sounds were phonk edits, but you didn't really care. Who wouldn't want to see their husband's pretty face anyway?

However, there was one thing that was nagging your brain for the past few hours. You couldn't really check by then, since you were doing chores but now seemed like the perfect time to check.

You went on to google and searched up ao3, a devious idea coming to mind. Searching the two words 'Itoshi' and then 'Rin' caused you to get so many pages in his tag. So many works in his name as you began to scroll. You went past the smut, too embarrassed to even click on them and looked at the tags of the others.

"Hiori Yo/Itoshi Rin, Isagi Yoichi/Itoshi Rin, even Shidou Ryusei/Itoshi Rin! Gosh, how many fanfics are there? There's even x reader fanfics!" You laughed to yourself. It was really funny reading all the fics. Most of them were created when you and Rin were in the dating stage, when fans believed that their delusions were true and that you and Rin had a chance to break up. Now there's barely any of those, just a few fanfics of you and Rin, which you adored (you didn't read the few smut fics in your tag).

You thought of more ways to annoy him, all ideas slipping out as you groaned in frustration.

'What about the ai bots?' You thought. You quickly went out of the website, frantically typing character.ai with a few typos and misspellings. Signing in to the website, you again wrote your husband's name. Hundreds, if not thousands of bots came out as your mouth came wide open. You giggled to yourself. Clicking on a random bot, you thought of his reaction to these when he comes back home.

Rin hated having to work with his 'teammates'.

The entire day, everyone was just running around, not doing anything and just being lukewarm bastards (or so he thinks). Right now, he was driving, just eager to meet you back home (he was never going to admit that). He was going to be mad if you weren't available.

He arrived at his destination, parking the car in his garage. Getting out of the car, he immediately walked to the front door, too tired of everything and everyone. He rang the bell as you quickly went to open the door. His gaze softened at seeing you, kissing your forehead as you welcomed him.

It was a very basic evening, there was only a bit of talking and you two ate dinner at that time. After dinner was a horror movie watching time, which was just you clutching onto him at all the scary parts. He didn't really mind, it was just a little difficult to focus.

Two hours of a horror movie later you and Rin were both in bed. You got into your pajamas while he was already in bed with his boxers. You hadn't forgotten about the things online in one bit. Taking your phone, you got into bed with him.

"Rinnie, can I show you something?" You said, getting closer to him, clutching your phone in hand and trying your best to not burst into laughter.

He subtly nodded, his attention all on you now. You went to your character ai tab, searching his name as he narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

"What are you doing?" He asked, very skeptical. You just smiled, pressing the search button and revealing all the bots on one page. You started to click on some of them, reading the messages out loud. You didnt really see his face, too busy just embarrassing him with the ai. Although, it was quite easy to tell that his face was red, considering that he was awfully quiet and was trying to take away your phone.

"Oh and there's more!" You said enthusiastically, already hearing his groan from embarrassment.

"Please stop," he begged. It's the first time he did in your relationship as a married couple, causing you to be a bit shocked, but you still didn't give in. In fact, it gave you more motivation to go further.

"Nope!" You said with a smile. "Look! There's so many of you and Isagi!" Now you could practically feel the anger radiating out of him. You knew that you were walking on thin ice, but it was very unlikely that anything was going to happen.

"There's also a few of you and me-" before you could finish that sentence, he took your phone away. He got off from the bed and stood up as you went after him, jumping at your phone as you couldn't reach. He clicked at one fanfic as he skimmed through the entire one shot. You didn't know that he clicked on a smut.

His ears turned red as he read that explicit fic while you were still reaching for your phone. He left your phone on your bedside table after finishing it. You immediately went to get it but he grabbed your waist and gently put you on the bed. He got your phone again and opened it to show the tab that he was reading from.

"Is this what you read that often?" He sounded disappointed. You couldn't even focus by the second paragraph, eyes diverting anywhere but the bright screen.

"No! I just did this to annoy you, I don't actually read it!" You frantically explained, not wanting him to get the wrong idea. Some part of you realized that you were fucked, big time. But the other part was still hoping that there was still a way out of your predicament.

He hummed, tossing the phone away.

"If that's the case, then I'm sure that it won't be a problem that I take some 'pointers' from this on you right?" He held your chin gently, forcing you to look at him as you gulped.

Shit

You truly fucked up badly.

Idk where I got this motivation from

[ms-demeanor]

since twitter has become actively hostile to its users, so they came to tumblr, and reddit has become actively hostile to its users, so they came to tumblr, what do we do now that tumblr is becoming (more) actively hostile to its users? i’ve been here for over a decade so i know tumblr users are the type to cling on despite everything and revel in undoing every change, but i’m so tired of the way this website breaks the way it fundamentally works in order to appeal to new users. the twitterfication of the site seems so much worse than when people jumped ship after the porn ban, and even then, only small communities (and twitter) cropped up as solutions. you might not be the person to ask for a definitive answer, but i figured a tech blog might be interested in considering - what do we do when there’s nowhere left to go?

Okay so, I mean this very seriously: how has tumblr meaningfully become like twitter?

I don't personally find the sidebar view obnoxious and it seems to me like just another layout change that's pretty typical to tumblr. New users are getting signed up with a bit more emphasis on algorithmic feeds, but that is still very easy to change (MUCH easier than on any other social platform) and the algorithm has been there for everyone for quite a while, we just typically don't notice it because a lot of long-term tumblr users don't go into the "for you" feed.

I don't think that tumblr *has* fundamentally broken the way that it works to appeal to new users. My dash now is still very much like my dash in 2019, and still very much like my dash in 2018 (though much less pornographic). Reblogs are still reblogs, likes are still likes. Replies, for all that they seem like they've been around forever, are new and good and I think they work well. I'm irritated that the notes menu doesn't have a "view all" option but I think that's a worthwhile tradeoff for an easy way to see tags.

I *do not* understand why tumblr has broken linking back to previous reblogs but I don't think that's out of an effort to act like twitter; it is a bizarre choice that I dislike and don't understand but I also don't think that it has fundamentally changed the way the site works and i mean you've been around long enough that I'm sure you've had the same experience I have of going into the notes of a post and randomly clicking until you found a version that you wanted to reblog without a bunch of bullshit at the bottom. Tumblr has always kind of sucked, this change DOES suck but it doesn't suck in a way that is particularly novel or insurmountable. (For instance, I think this change sucks MUCH LESS than when they made posts with links invisible to the search, that is something that is genuinely bad that has been long lasting but doesn't get brought up much in lists of the ways that tumblr has gone wrong)

Tumblr *is* changing, but I think it is changing more incrementally and less terribly than other parts of the internet. I also hate the floating clown, the login walls, the dash-only view for blogs (you can't archive it and I HATE that), and - to an extent - the new lightbox on mobile. And I dislike that less than I thought I would but I don't think it's a fundamental change that necessarily impacts my interactions with the site - it *adds* a feature that I don't care for but it doesn't *break* anything that I require to have a good time on tumblr - in that way I think of it very much like Live. People hate Live so much and I find that perplexing because it is so easy to simply ignore it.

But that's not really your question; that's just some stuff I want people to think about because as much as tumblr has changed in the last two years it is nowhere near as fucked up as the recent things that twitter and reddit have pulled.

So, as to your question: where do we go?

Well. Not to be an extremely old person on the internet, but damned if I don't miss email lists. And forums. God I miss forums. Neither of those things has all the bonuses of platforms like twitter or reddit or tumblr or facebook, but they were great ways to hang out with people you liked on the internet.

The internet is changing. I can feel it, you can feel it, I'm pretty sure we're all like cattle in a field lifting our noses and hearing some distant rumbling and becoming slowly aware that it's almost time to run. There's a coming stampede and it isn't here yet but you know it's on its way. You're not imagining that, that's how things feel right now and there are a shitload of things contributing to it.

Things like SESTA/FOSTA and KOSA (which has not passed yet but is a big red flag waving on the horizon) have been eroding away the way that users on various platforms can function. Some platforms have consolidated in ways that harm users; some new platforms have popped up and shaken up the map of the internet; some platforms are being torn apart brick by brick by owners who don't care about the users. It kind of seems like people are actually looking up and realizing that advertising is A) bad and B) doesn't actually work and I think we're running straight toward another advertising-based crash like we saw in 2017. It feels like all the desperate things that tumblr is doing is just rearranging deck chairs on the titanic as the internet as a whole starts to sink into the ocean.

Honestly, I don't think it's that bad. I think it *feels* bad, but I think we're looking at a slow whimpering death of the platforms, not a bang. I think tumblr is going to hang on at least for a few years and I think it's going to end up like livejournal and myspace, which both still exist as websites that are recognizable as updated versions of the sites they were in 2004-2010. The thing that I think would really, honestly hurt tumblr in a fundamental way is if it moved to a more algorithmic and data-sales based model of advertising, and I think that's still pretty distant. I think Automattic is aware that killing the chronological feed would be the one unforgivable sin that would cause a mass exodus and a final crash, and I think when we see that, when we can't just scroll through the feed and see what our friends did that day in order of when they did it, that's when the party is over here.

But that's still not answering your question.

So, where do we go? What do we do? Well, for now, I'd say it's a good time to get contact info for your friends across various platforms. Get email addresses, get phone numbers.

Now is also the time for you to set up a personal website. NeoCities is currently the best place to do this, though it takes a lot more effort than just starting a blog on tumblr. I think that various oldschool blogging sites like Wordpress and Blogger/Blogspot/whatever the hell the google one is are a better place to have your emergency backup than a more platform-y platform if you aren't up to doing something with NeoCities.

If you've got the ability to do so and a group of people who are interested in the same core subject, set up a forum. There's a decent amount of off-the-shelf forum software out there and a text-and-small-images forum isn't prohibitively expensive, but it's never going to be huge and you're never going to have the kind of spread and virality and random connections that you would on a platform with millions or billions of users.

If you can't set up a forum, setting up or joining a discord server for your friends is a decent enough option at the moment, and may be a very good option for people who are looking to keep their interactions more private.

But yeah i think right now is a great time for people to start setting up their own personal websites, to start visiting actual webpages again, to start bookmarking their friends' websites, and to start collecting contact info that isn't tied to platforms.

[waves-against-a-cliff]

Gaz's Routine Part 2

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Summary - Gaz goes through his routine before he leaves for deployment once again Tags - Fluff, angst, smut, blowjob

Part One

The text comes in the middle of the night as it always does. It wakes the both of you up and as you sit up, rubbing at your eyes and asking, “What is it?” You both already know what it is. The dreaded texts after weeks of domestic bliss, the short sentence telling a date and time with nothing else. Nothing else but the knowledge that he’ll be gone again for weeks, perhaps even months doing what needs to be done to keep the world safe. The knowledge he was saving lives and keeping the world safe didn’t make it any easier.

The process is slow even if there’s only a day's worth of time before he has to leave again. Before he walks out the door in his fatigues with a kiss on his lips. You blink and clear the thoughts from your head, you turn your attention to Kyle who is sure to be just as upset about this as you are. He loves his job, he loves the men he works with but he hates leaving you, you know this. You know this because he’s expressed this time and time again whenever the text is sent.

“Baby,” you whisper and wrap your arms around his body as he stares down at his phone with annoyance in his eyes and an upset expression on his face. “It’s fine, we both know that it always comes,” you whisper and Kyle sighs, resting his own warm hand on top of yours. The simple gesture speaks louder than words. It tells you that he knows but that doesn’t mean he has to like it. “How long do you have?” You ask, voice heavy with tiredness and sleep. You hoped it would be a week and not a day. Those were always the worst ones.

“Two days,” he rumbles his reply, squeezing your hand when he feels you stiffen up behind him. “Think they have an appointment open?” He asks and you shrug.

“I could check their website,” you suggest, already about to detach from him before he stops you.

“Check later. I just want to lay in bed with you for now.”

When the two of you woke up in the morning, limbs tangled, it had a somber atmosphere. As you check the website of the black hairstylist Kyle goes to he makes a basic breakfast of eggs and toast. “She’s got one free tomorrow at 10:30 am,” you say between mouthfuls of egg and toast. For as long as you’ve known Kyle he’s always gone to the same stylist and you knew if you called her she would make room for him one way or another. You think Kyle knows that too which is why he insists on checking the website first before anything else.

“How’s breakfast?” Kyle asks with an amused smile as he stares down at the nearly spotless plate. You swallow the last of the toast with a mouthful of water and don’t miss when his eyes trail the little drip that escapes your mouth.

“Delicious as always baby, how am I going to survive without your cooking?” You ask dramatically, putting the back of your hand to your forehead. You can’t help the smile that breaks out across your face when you hear him snort laugh.

The day passes faster than you want. It feels like you blinked and suddenly the two of you are getting ready to bed, sharing the bathroom to complete your separate skin care routines. “Do you have enough for deployment?” You ask, referring to his skin treatment. When you met him he’d had perfect skin then too but had confided at some point that he had suffered with eczema.

He thinks about it for a moment, pausing in his movements before he nods, “I should have enough, I’ll check tomorrow before my hair appointment.”

“I promise I’ll convince her to teach me how to do your locs,” you say and he gives you a crooked smile.

“You say that every time,”

“And every time I ask she says no. This’ll be the one, I’m sure of it,” you say with determination which makes him smile a little wider.

The two of you curl up into bed together, both of your bonnets on and the lamps dimmed low as he picks up the book he’s been reading. He opens his arms, a silent gesture you understand and take advantage of immediately. Laying yourself on his chest, curling around him like a cat as he cages you in with his arms so he can read. You read alongside him until you fall asleep on his chest.

The next morning the two of you move as slowly as possible without risking being late for the appointment. You kiss his cheek as he gets ready to walk out the door. “I shouldn’t be too long. Hope this money isn’t going to waste because Shepard makes me shave my hair,” your nose wrinkles at the mention of this Shepard man again. You don’t know much about him but you dislike him on principle.

“Be safe, have fun, don’t die,” you say in rapid succession, earning you another chuckle as he leaves but not without stealing a quick kiss. When he returns, his hair is done up in locs. When he returns the day is spent much the same as the previous except one last step at bedtime where he packs his things and leaves out his fatigues to wear tomorrow. The uniform mocks you as you crawl into bed and into his arms.

The next day at the door you pepper his face in kisses and then finally kiss his lips when he sets down his keys. “You look handsome baby,” you purr as you trail the kisses to his jaw and down the column of his throat.

He hums, “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you sigh, breathing in his scent before lowering to your knees and staring up at him. “Can I?”

He smirks, tucks your hair behind your ear and nods. You unbuckle his belt and unbutton his pants slowly, watching as he grows harder within the confines of his jeans. “All that for me?” You ask innocently, fiddling with his zipper. He nods, a groan leaving his lips when you palm his hard cock.

As slowly as you undid his pants, you pull them and his boxers down just far enough that his erect cock is freed. You lick your lips at the sight of precum already beginning to drool from the tip of his uncut cock. The sight of him never fails to make your mouth water. You take him into your hand and stroke him once, twice and then three times until you hear that delicious whimper escape him and his hand hit the front door for support as his knees buckle just a little.

You kiss the tip, licking the salty precum from your lips before licking him from shaft to tip. His hand finds your hair and pulls it back into a ponytail so it doesn’t get in your face. “Always a gentleman,” you murmur against his cock between kitten licks of his tip. You glance up through your lashes to find his eyes already closed and his other hand balled into a fist.

Finally, taking mercy on your boyfriend, you take him into your mouth fully, allowing your tongue to cradle the underside of his sensitive cock. You begin to bob your head slowly, licking and sucking as broken moans and whimpers escape the man above you. “Not- not going to last long if you keep doing that,” he chokes out as you use your hand to jerk off the length not in your mouth. You hum, your only way of responding as you continue doing what you’re doing. “Fuck baby-” he whines and you pull off his cock immediately earning you a loud whine.

“Shh,” you say as you pump his throbbing cock slowly with one hand. “Want to give you something you’ll think of while you’re gone.”

“Evil,” he mutters, which makes you giggle before you take him back in your mouth, the salt of his precum on your tongue again. Hollowing your cheeks you move your head up and down, taking more of him each time until your nose is buried in his curls and Kyle is shaking above you. Curling in on himself as his balls draw tight and he cums down your throat with only minor swallowing on your part.

As you stand up your knees pop and ache but the expression on Kyle’s face is completely worth it as you help tuck him into his boxers and tug up his pants. He finally regains control enough to buckle his own belt. “I got to go,” he whispers before he kisses you one last time, his face close enough to yours that you can feel the heat radiating off him.

“I’ll be waiting for you, promise. I love you,” you say.

“I love you too,” and then he leaves, leaving you alone in the flat's living room with the taste of his cum still on your tongue.

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[streamafterlaughter]

Soundtrack to Disaster

Chapter XVIII: At The End of a Dead-End Street

masterlist | playlist | pinboard | prev. | read on ao3 | read bee's diary

songs for this chapter: let’s start degeneracy by microwave, love is embarrassing by olivia rodrigo, end of beginning by djo, dead horse by hayley williams, stone by born without bones 

chapter tags: angst, hurt/slight comfort, confrontations, drinking, smoking, just a whole lotta drama! happyISH note to end, but don't get too comfortable!  | fic tags: angst, hurt/(eventual) comfort, (eventual) smut, slow burn, enemies to friends to lovers, Eddie Munson x Fem!OC!Reader, Modern AU | REMINDER: THIS FIC IS RATED EXPLICIT. 18+ mdni.

a/n: i debated on putting a djo song in this fic for awhile and i think it’s just necessary atp. Also this song works for the theme so, continuity and realism be damned! In this universe steve and joe both exist. Because i said so. 

DISCLAIMER: I do not consent to having my work fed to AI engines, or reposted in any way, shape, or form on other websites. Unless otherwise stated, my tumblr and ao3 are the only accounts that feature and contain this work, and any replication was done without my consent. Please let me know if you see my work elsewhere Reblog to support the author!

taglist (open!): @children-of-the-grave @five-bi-five @kellsck @faggotinie @xplrnowornever @taccobelle @micheledawn1975 @mewchiili @dreamerjj @losingmygrasponreality @munsonburn3r @justalotoffanfiction @bl0ssomanddie @eddiesgirl1944 @longlivedelusion 

--

It’s been almost four days, and you’ve been left on read for three of them. Luckily, Steve and Robin couldn’t hold a grudge after you kicked them out of the bar, so you’ve found yourself over, far too early for their party. 

“So,” You flop down next to Robin on her couch, crossing your legs underneath you. She sips her matcha latte, waiting for you to continue. “How are you doing?” 

“Oh, me? I’m great. My best friend disappeared for like four days with the boy she claims to hate leaving me to wonder if she’s been murdered! But I'm fantastic!”

“Robin. You have my location. I was at home, or working.”

“All alone, I’m sure.” She’s teasing, but you can sense an edge of bitterness.  

“Don’t tell me you’re suddenly mad at me for hanging out with Eddie.” You can’t possibly take upsetting another friend right now. 

“What? No, of course not! I love that you guys are talking again, it makes my life a lot easier knowing you’re hanging out with someone that clearly cares about you. Almost as much as me.” She winks, and you giggle with her. “Who’s mad at you for hanging out with Eddie?”

“Chris was. Or, he was mad at Eddie for hanging out with me. Maybe both? I dunno. Just, not really sure what I’m supposed to do about that.”

“Who says you have to do anything?”

“What do you mean?”

“Bee, no matter what you do, someone, somewhere is gonna be unhappy about it. Might as well do what makes you happiest.” She scoots closer, leaning her head on your shoulder. “You hanging out with Eddie means Steve is gonna owe me fifty bucks in about a month’s time. Don’t tell him I told you that, though.”

“You made a bet?!” You pull away from her to look her in the eye, to make sure she’s not kidding. 

“Oh, like. In high school. When you stopped talking, I bet you’d be friends again one day. Steve was pretty sure you’d never be able to forgive him.” 

“Does Steve really think I’m that stubborn?”

She shrugs. “There’s a lot he knows that I don’t. I didn’t meet you until our sophomore year, and I didn’t even talk to Steve until we were seniors and he’d graduated. Turns out I still know you better, though.” She grins smugly, and it makes you beam. 

“You are my best friend, Rob. Seriously, never forget that.”

“Couldn’t if I tried. Now, full disclosure, there’s a B side to our bet.”

“Oh?”

“We made an addendum, if you will. When Eddie showed up at Chris’s party.”

“And what was that addendum?” You can feel your face getting hot. 

“When you two start dating.”

You blink at her. “Excuse me? When?”

“We also have money on which of you will initiate the first kiss.”

“Robin!”

“Bee, please. You cannot be that blind!”

This isn’t happening. “I have no clue what the hell you’re talking about.”

She raises her hands in surrender, despite your pleas for her to continue. “Never mind. I’m sorry, that’s not fair. I shouldn’t be making bets on my friend’s personal life.”

“No, you really shouldn’t!” You sip your coffee grumpily, turning back to the New Girl episode you’d started mere minutes earlier. 

“You guys are kinda like Nick and Jess.” Robin muses. 

“Shut. Up. You know what? You don’t even have to worry about it. I told him I didn’t want to be friends anymore.”

Her laugh ceases abruptly, eyes widening as she registers the weight of what you said. “What? Why?”

But before you can answer, Steve comes out of the kitchen, purple and orange paper streamers taped to his fingers. “Hello? Would you two stop yapping and help me with the decorations?” causing you and Robin to burst into giggles. 

—

Steve’s Halloween parties are known in town for being the spot that weekend. If you don’t at least make an appearance, it’s not worth mentioning what you did do. 

You haven’t been to one since high school. You didn’t have the energy, and it wasn’t worth the trouble to pretend. But for some reason, you feel obligated this time. So you dawn the jade green dress a second time since purchasing it, heart feeling heavy in your chest. 

“Dude, you look insanely hot.” Robin gushes, helping you tie the corset. “Eddie’s gonna die.” You frown, meeting her eyes in the mirror. “What, you think because you texted him that he’ll give up on you? You’re funny. And way too naive for your own good.” She knots the ribbons of the corset before stepping back. “Tada!”

You do look insanely hot, you can’t argue that. The dress seems to float as you walk, twirling around you in a way you can only describe as romantic. You’ve dawned a pair of elf ears you’d found at the Spirit Halloween in town, and a pair of strappy sandals you’d thrifted last summer. 

“The problem is I still don’t know how I upset him. I was supposed to be the one throwing a temper tantrum!” It’s silly, you know that, but you’re so tired of being the last one allowed to feel a certain way. “It shouldn’t have even been a big deal.”

“Did you mean it?” Robin asks, adjusting her own costume of Natasha Lyonne's character in But I’m A Cheerleader, complete with fluffy hair secured with a headband. 

It’s a loaded question. “To an extent,” You shrug, gently spreading pink glitter across your cheeks. “I probably could have explained myself a little.”

“Okay, so tell him what you meant. That boy would die for you, whether you wanna believe it or not, I’m sure he’d be willing to listen.”

“Rob, I don’t need that pressure. I don’t owe him anything after the shit he and my brother pulled. The fact that I gave him a chance at all is a feat.” You spin to look at your best friend, who’s already examining you with a pair of sad, bet losing eyes. “I’ll pay you out whatever you lose to Steve, if it will get you to stop pouting at me.” You cross your arms over your chest, and she mirrors you.

“It’s not the money I’m upset about, though that for sure doesn’t alleviate the sting. I was rooting for you guys. I still am! Even if, at least right now, that seems a little delusional. I have faith.” She smiles smugly at you, and before you can retort there’s a knock on her bedroom door.

“Ladies! Party starts in thirty, which means I need your help curating the playlist, like, now!” Steve calls from the other side, and you chuckle. 

“Yes, Mom! Be right there!” You yank the doorknob and step into what you’ve lovingly called the Harrington Haunt. The walls are plastered with cheap store bought decorations: caution tape, sticky window hangings meant to look like bloody hands, things that definitely won’t hold up past tonight. Every flat surface holds a bowl full of a different snack: kettle corn, M&Ms, pretzels, Steve has it all. You make your way over to where he stands, hand on his hip while the other scrolls through his music library for songs appropriate for the evening. He’s dressed like John Lennon, with circular glasses and a black turtleneck. 

“Gimme that.” You quip, snatching his phone from his hand. “Worry not about your playlist curation, Stevie. I’m here to rescue you.” Mostly, you just want to make sure there’s a healthy mix of pop for the locals in with the weird shit you’ll likely sneak in. 

“Thanks, Bee, however will I repay you?” Steve rolls his eyes, but he nudges you to show he’s only kidding, that he does truly appreciate the help.

“Keep Munson far, far away from me tonight, and we’ll call it even.”

Steve frowns, clocking Robin’s look behind you. You don’t bother arguing, you’re sure they’re going to do nothing of the sort. Looks like it will be up to you to maintain sanity tonight, without the help of your matchmaking duo.

–

By 9:30, the apartment is filled with your friends, acquaintances, and people you’ve probably met before but can't place. Music floods through the speakers, one of your personal favorite songs that the general audience seem to be enjoying. So far, you’ve been lucky enough not to see Eddie, unsure at this point if he’s even here. He wouldn’t pass up such a valuable opportunity to sell his product, though, so you assume he’ll be here soon if he hasn’t shown up already.

“Bee?” The question comes from over your shoulder, and you turn around to meet the eyes of none other than Scotty. “Shit, that is you!” Without warning, he pulls you into an unreciprocated hug, pinning your arms to their sides. He’s dressed as a pirate, complete with a stuffed parrot on his shoulder, and a tattered eye patch over his left eye. He smells like booze, and you flinch when he rubs your back. 

“Scott. Hi.” A polite response, but not one that opens the door to further conversation. 

“Listen, since I’ve got you,” He starts, completely disregarding your visible discomfort. “I wanna apologize for standing you up. That was really lame of me, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. I feel horrible.” His voice is even, like he’s rehearsed these lines to spit back at you.

You shake your head. “No big deal, man. I forgive you.” Mostly, you just don’t feel like causing another scene with him.

“You wanna dance?” The song is faster, and you weigh the risk of dancing with him in your head. “Okay, sure. Yeah, let’s dance.” He beams, taking your hand in his and leading you to a space in the den where guests are gyrating, grinding on each other as the rhythm shakes the walls.

He’s a perfect gentleman, surprisingly enough. He doesn’t get on top of you, only holds you by the waist as you turn your back to him, a more PG version of what your fellow party goers are doing. “You look good, by the way. Great costume.”

“Thanks, made it myself.” You smile politely as you sway your hips, doing your best not to grind into him too much, not wanting to give him the wrong idea. “Lovin’ the pirate, too.”

“Ha, thanks. Had the shirt already, figured I would build off that.” 

The conversation doesn’t stray from small talk, much to your relief. When the song ends, he leads you back to the couches, flopping down next to you. You’re still talking when the air around you shifts, someone moving too close into the already crowded space.

“You are fucking unbelievable.” His words raise the hairs on your neck, and Scotty jolts from his seat on the couch. You dare to look up at him, and immediately regret it. His curly locks have disappeared, hidden under a slicked platinum wig. He’s done Spike insane justice, down to the chain around his neck and his nails painted black. He looks hot. You can feel yourself blushing. 

“It doesn’t concern you, man.” Scotty puffs out his chest, attempting to make himself look bigger. “We’re just havin’ a friendly conversation.”

“Yeah, while your girlfriend sits on the other side of the room crying because she thinks you’re cheating on her.” Eddie nods, gesturing to the melancholy girl leaning against the kitchen counter, red solo cup in her grip. Her makeup is running, and you catch her eyes glaring at you before she quickly darts them to the floor. 

“You have a girlfriend?” You look back to Scott. “Why the fuck did you ask me to dance?”

“Yeah, Scotty? Why’d you ask her to dance?” Eddie echos, head tilted with mock curiosity.

“It wasn’t anything like that! I just wanted to, y’know, apologize for that date.”

“Uh huh. Then why is your girl crying like you kicked her puppy?” Eddie challenges, and your heart stings. You’d never wish that kind of pain on someone, much less volunteer to be the cause of it. 

“I- uh,” Scotty stutters.

“Uh, uh, uh. That’s what I thought. Now, get the fuck outta here and go beg for her forgiveness before I smash your face in again.”

Scotty opens his mouth to speak, but catches your eye first and you shake your head. “Trust me, he’s not kidding. I’d go while I still can.”

He gives you a curt wave, scurrying away from Eddie and back to his– probably now ex-girlfriend– leaving Eddie the room to take his spot. 

“What, didn’t get enough of making me miserable at the bar? Gonna ruin my night here, too?”

Eddie only snickers, running his hand through the plastic hair of his wig. “Guess so. Look, I wanna talk to you.”

“Funny, because I really have no desire to speak to you.” Not a true statement, not even close, but he can't know that. “Especially not with so many witnesses.”

“You ashamed of me suddenly?”

“Can’t be ashamed of something I have no involvement with.” You deadpan, staring uncomfortably into his eyes. He skipped the contacts to match Spike’s ice blue eyes, instead looking back with his own chocolate brown ones that always make you softer. 

“Okay, somewhere private then?”

“Not tonight, please. I just wanna have a good time with my friends, I really don’t need you spouting off some bullshit about why I had no right to be upset with you.”

He shakes his head. “Whoa, no, that’s not at all what I was gonna say. You really think I’m that much of an asshole?”

You shrug. “I don’t really think anything. I don’t know you that well, Eddie.”

Your words tug a pout from his lips. “You know me better than anyone else does.”

“Nah, that’s Chris, and believe it or not we don’t share a brain.”

“Chris only knows what I tell him. You know me like the back of your own hand, even if you don’t realize it. You know the things no one else does.”

It makes you angry, the way he’s talking to you. Standing from the couch, you turn back to look at him. “I used to know you, sure. I knew you when we were kids, but you haven’t been that guy in years. This Eddie, the one in front of me, is not the one I called my best friend.” It hurts to say, hurts worse to watch his face fall as he hears you, really listens to what you’re saying. 

“So, that’s it then? You’re just giving up?”

You pretend you can’t hear him, refusing to look back as you walk across the room, the music now a loud buzzing in your brain. 

When Robin catches you by your still sore hand, you flinch. “Hey,” She’s cautious, letting go and watching as you massage your knuckles. “How did that go?” She nods to where Eddie is, sipping his beer on the couch as a girl in a rather revealing nurse costume sits on the arm next to him. 

“About how you’d expect.”

“So, he’s pretending nothing happened?”

You shrug. “He asked to talk somewhere private.”

“And you said no?” 

You nod, and she backhands your arm. “Ow! What was that shit for?”

“You need to talk to him, like, now.”

“Or what, Rob?”

“I don’t know exactly, I just know he’s a lot more fragile than he leads on.”

You look at him again, and the girl has migrated into his lap. “Yeah, he seems really worked up over it.” 

“He’s still a man, Bee. Sometimes they have a funny way of coping with heartbreak.” You can barely hear her, still watching the pair of them, both so beautiful in low light as she whispers something into his ear, making him laugh. Your chest tightens. 

“Yeah, okay, whatever! Can you get me another drink, please?”

“Anything for you, darlin’.” She yanks open the cooler next to her and pulls out a cider, but doesn’t hand it to you yet. “Just, please promise me you aren’t gonna let this ruin your night.”

Sighing, you make a move for the drink but she yanks it out of your reach before you can grab it. “Okay! Fine, I will not let Eddie Munson’s bullshit ruin my night.”

“Good girl,” she hands you the can, “now drink up! I signed us up for karaoke.”

“You what?!”

–

“Alright, my friends!” Steve takes the mic from its stand next to the TV, putting on his best host voice. “We’re about to begin the torture that is late night karaoke. Luckily, it’s Friday night, and most of my neighbors are in this room anyway, so please feel free to suck as badly as you want! First up, we have Robin, who is performing Love Is Embarrassing by Olivia Rodrigo!” With a sweeping gesture, he welcomes Robin to the front of the room and hands the mic off. She stands there, shy suddenly, grasping it in both of her hands as the music starts. Luckily, she’s quick to melt into the music, dancing to the beat until her cue to sing appears on screen behind her. 

To show your support, you sing along with her from the side of the crowd, bopping along with a group of girls that seem far too into Robin’s legs to be paying any attention to her voice. 

She finishes, and receives a polite applause from the people still watching while others run to put their names on the list. A few more people go first, singing their drunk little hearts out to pop anthems, one obscure enough metal song, and Steve’s eerily close version of Djo’s End of Beginning before once again taking the mic to announce the next performer. 

“Now, this one is one of my personal favorites. She doesn’t come to these parties often, but when she does you know you’re in for a treat! Please join me in welcoming my best friend Bee, and her rendition of Dead Horse by Hayley Williams!” He beckons you with his hand to the front, waving you forward like he’s bending the wind. You groan as Robin shakes you by the shoulders, trudging to the front of his living room like you have weights tied to your ankles. Steve presses the button to start the song, and you close your eyes to center yourself. You’re feeling relatively buzzed, safe enough to perform in front of these other drunk people, but when you open your eyes you’re immediately greeted with the one reason you didn’t want to be the center of attention.

Eddie has moved from his spot on the couch, no longer attached to the sexy nurse, now standing in the corner sipping what has to be his fifth beer while Gareth nods to the music beside him. He’s focusing on you, eyes unmoving as you sway along to the intro of the song. You challenge him, forcing yourself to look directly at him as you sing, 

“Every mornin’ I wake up from a dream of you holding me

Underwater.

Is that a dream or a memory?

Held my breath for a decade, dyed my hair blue to match my lips.

Cool of me to try,

Pretty cool, I’m still alive.”

You start to groove, losing yourself in the words of your favorite artist. By the end, you’re full on dancing, having grabbed Robin by the hand and yanking her into your orbit to dance with you, and she does. For three minutes, you’re having fun with your friends, Steve joining you in the “Ya, ya, ya, ya”s at the end of the song. When you finish, you take both of their hands and force them to bow with you, and the room floods with whistles and cheers. When you find the spot where Eddie was standing, Gareth is standing there clapping for you, but his taller friend is nowhere to be found.

“Okay, it looks like we have a new sign up!” Steve brings your attention back to him. He’s holding the sign up sheet that’s just been handed to him. “Oh, you guys are in for it now. Everyone, help me welcome one of the most talented musicians I know up here, and the kid you all wish you were nice to in high school, Eddie Munson!” The applause is scattered, hesitant, and you groan as he takes center floor. He’s removed the wig, his unruly curls tied in a low ponytail on his neck, still decked in the trench coat and combat boots. 

“Thanks, Stevie. No originals tonight, we charge extra for that. Instead, I’d like to sing a cover of one of my favorite songs, and something vastly different from what you’re probably expecting.” The song begins, and you can immediately recognize where this is going. You can’t help but watch, though, despite desperately wishing you’d left the room. 

“You’re cold,

Like a stone,

How did you get that way?

How did you get that way?” 

The song builds, and Eddie grows with it, voice becoming hoarse as the singing becomes more desperate. It’s a song you know, a favorite of yours even, and you don’t remember telling Eddie that. He’s singing to you, and anyone with eyes has noticed the way his eyes bore into you. 

“This is bullshit.” You mumble, not meaning for Robin and Steve to hear, and make your exit onto the back porch while Eddie still sings, 

“There doesn’t have to be a problem

For you to call me, for you to talk to me…”

–

You’re smoking a second cigarette when the screen door slides open behind you. “Got a light?” 

You refuse to turn around, instead thrusting your lighter out behind you for him to take. He does, and you hear it flick a few times before he lights his own cigarette and hands it back to you. “You got some pipes on you. How come I never knew that?” Eddie steps to lean on the railing, and you move just far enough away so his shoulder doesn’t brush yours. “Woulda asked you to sing back up for me years ago.” You can’t help the scoff that comes out in response. “What makes you think I’d want to do that?”

“Nothing, doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have tried to convince you. You’re good, Bee. I mean it.”

“Yeah, when I’m drunk, maybe. Only time you’ll ever see me singing for other people.”

He chuckles, taking another drag from his cigarette and ashing it over the ground. “You got a minute to indulge me in conversation? Or are you still avoiding me like I sent your brother to prison?” He has the balls to giggle as he asks it.

“You’re something else, you know that?”

“I’ve been told. Is that a yes?”

“Not really! Why would you wanna talk now? Aren’t you drunk?”

He nods. “Obviously. That’s what it takes to get more than a glare from you. I just wanna apologize for the night at the bar. I know what I said wasn’t cool, I just… figured you could use a break, I guess.”

You take a beat to collect your thoughts the best you can, stalling as you bring the cigarette back up to your lips. Finally, you respond, “You were being a dick.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?” He tries to meet your eyes, but you stare straight ahead into the night. “What happened to your hand?” He nods at the hand closest to him, bruises yellowing as they heal.

“Punched a wall.”

“The wall deserve it?” He nudges your arm with his. 

“No, it was just all I had available.”

“Right. You picture me instead?”

No. You just needed to feel something physical, instead of the ache in your heart. “Would that shut you up?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Then no, honestly. Just… needed to distract myself.”

“Bee,” He lowers his voice, like he’s afraid of being overheard. “Please, tell me what’s going on. I wanna help.”

“Eddie, leave it alone. There is nothing you can do to fix the way I feel. It’s been this way for as long as you and Chris have been friends. You guys have been a team since we were kids, since Chris dropped me and took you under his wing in my place because I was just his little sister. You both replaced me with each other, and clearly those years away haven’t changed that. I’m still Chris’s 'little sister,' a nuisance you’re forced to entertain until you just can’t put up with me anymore. Right? I’m right, aren’t I?”

Your question is met first with silence, Eddie tossing the butt of his cigarette into the lawn below before he turns his body to face you. “You could not be more wrong.”

“Enlighten me, then! What makes me so repulsive to you that, even after everything, you can’t just be on my side?”

“I am on your side!”

“No, you’re not! You’re hanging out with me out of pity, or fucking guilt. You have no actual desire to be my friend, you want to clean your slate so you and Chris can get back to doing whatever it is you guys do without me.” The cracks in your voice as you speak piss you off, and you have to swat at the tears forming in your eyes before they fall. “I don’t want your pity. I don’t need you walking on eggshells around me because you can’t accept what you did. I have every right to hate you, and I don’t know what it’s gonna take for you to understand that.”

“Just tell me you hate me, then.” 

You force yourself to look at him, meeting his own tear-filled eyes with yours. “I can’t. I don’t know why, but I still want you in my life. Even after everything. I just want you to want that, too.” 

He doesn’t say anything, but takes your hurt hand in his own rough one, thumb stroking calming circles over the space between your thumb and pointer finger. “I don’t know how to do this. I’m not usually the type to fight for someone. I’m used to people leaving. I don’t really… know how to ask you to stay.” He’s talking to your entwined hands, not able to bring his eyes up. “I probably don’t deserve it. But I do know, more than anything, that I want you in my life. However much you’ll allow.”

And how are you supposed to say no to that? He brings your knuckles to his lips, placing a tender kiss on the worst of your bruises. “But, if you say the word, I’ll go. I won’t beg, I won’t make it any harder than it has to be. Just tell me now, to my face, that you don’t want me.”

You don’t. Whether it’s the liquor, the weed, or just pure adrenaline, you’re not sure, but you let it take over, stepping towards Eddie as he releases your hand, and wrap your arms around his neck. He hesitantly places his own on your waist and you fall into his grip, burying your head in the crook of his neck as he wraps his arms around you fully, tightly, like he’s scared you’ll disappear. 

“Please don’t. I don’t think I can handle you leaving again. Just give me some time.”

Eddie rubs your back soothingly, and you let the tears fall silently, though he can probably feel your ragged breaths. “‘M not goin’ anywhere, sweetheart.” 

–

The rest of the party is spent in better spirits. You converse with old friends over drinks, shouting to accommodate for the loud music still flooding the house. Eddie is practically glued to you, arm around your shoulders as you talk with your hands to someone you used to have class with. 

“So, how long have you guys been dating? I know you were friends in high school, but I didn’t think you were together!” Her name is Suzie, or something. You had biology with her your freshman year, and she remembers Eddie from his general reputation.

“Oh, we’re not together.” You stifle an awkward laugh, and pretend to miss the way Eddie’s face falls the tiniest bit. “Just uh, friends.”

“Oh. Sorry, I didn’t mean to assume anything. You guys just seem so inseparable.”

“You’d be surprised.” Eddie quips, and maybe-Suzie makes an “Ah,” noise, like she’s been there before. 

“Alright, everyone. That time of night has come,” Steve has taken it upon himself to kick his guests out. “You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here! It was lovely seeing you all, but get to goin’! Really not in the mood to hear shit from the landlord about cars parked on the lawn. If you do not have a safe ride home, please come talk to me so we can get you set up with an Uber!” He flings his door open, and wishes everyone a good night as they file out. Your old classmate gives you a wave, and makes her own way to the door.

“Be honest, you have any idea who that was?” You turn to ask Eddie.

He shakes his head. “Not a clue. Made me wanna pretend we were dating just to make it interesting.”

You frown at him. “Don’t push it, Munson.”

He raises his hands up in surrender, and you already miss the warmth of his arm around you. “Sorry, sorry. No pushing.” 

“Hey, love birds!” Robin shouts from the living room, and you groan as Eddie beams at her. “Clean up crew starts in fifteen minutes, so get your shit in order before then, yeah?”

“Sir yes sir!” You mock, and Eddie throws his elbow out to salute her. She snorts, rolling her eyes before saying, “It is unbelievable how stupid both of you are.”

You think you know what she’s implying, but one look at Eddie shows he has no clue. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Don’t worry about it. She just says shit.” You will yourself to move, pushing up from the couch before offering Eddie your hand. “C’mon, let’s go put this disaster back together, huh?”

And he takes your hand, using it as leverage to get off the couch. “Lead the way.”

[genderqueerdykes]

The whole "transandrophobia debate" is so tiring. I've been here long enough to have seen people not just say the same exact shit about aromantic and ace people, or even bi people, but transmen and mascs themselves. Like, not only have we figuratively been here, with people using the exact same talking points against aros, aces, bis, nonbinary people, literally just people using neopronouns, etc. etc. but we've also LITERALLY been here before.

It's especially frustrating because it was only a few years back that conversations finally opened up to address the damage people like Calvin Garrah and Blair White have done internally to the trans community; and now we get to log onto tumblr-dot-com and watch people get called "whiny afab trans people" and "they-fab" AGAIN.

I'm just so tired of people who do not know queer history, especially not the shit that has happened on this website alone in the past 15 years, picking a new letter of the acronym that is acceptable to bully, walking into the tags that group made for themselves to discuss their own issues, and telling them they're wrong and disgusting for "taking up space" in the queer community.

huge round of applause for this ask, seriously. thank you so fucking much. thank you for taking the time to write this up and send it. i hope you're having a wonderful day. sorry for the long ass text dump, but you brought up so many good points that i want to touch on

Like, not only have we figuratively been here, with people using the exact same talking points against aros, aces, bis, nonbinary people, literally just people using neopronouns, etc. etc. but we've also LITERALLY been here before.

EXACTLY this. it's literally the exact. same. bullshit. that people have pulled in the past. i cannot stress enough about how the anti transmasc rhetoric right now is exactly like the anti ace and anti aro bullshit we had going on 5 - 10 years ago. it was seriously bad and it's the exact same as this is now. people were so obsessed with hating aromantics and asexuals in the exact same fashion. nearly every other post had aros or aces as the butt of the joke. people were just constantly making posts making fun of sex repulsed aces. telling us that we're "not really queer" and that we're just "taking up space and resources". it was literally the NORM to bully aromantic and ace people on here for YEARS. it was like EVERYONE had a shitty opinion about aromanticism and asexuality and they NEEDED you to hear it. it was relentless. it was inescapable. it's still happening, but it used to be even worse because people were just obsessed with waking up and mocking aros and aces on this hellsite.

and now people are doing the exact. same. thing. to trans men and transmascs. the new punching bag has been chosen and its transmascs and men. and people will do ANYTHING to make them the butt of the joke, no matter WHAT the conversation is. tiktoks and instagram reels and twitter and tumblr posts talking about how people gladly misgender transmascs and tell them they're "confused girls" and "delusional tomboys". i cannot stress that it is the exact same intensity and level of hostility as what you pointed out. it's the same. it's not to say that this didn't happen before.

like anon pointed out, people were treating trans men and mascs like shit back THEN too. back then, they were getting mocked for being "uwu soft deer prince boys" and white boys with fluffy hair and shit like that. they were getting told that T would make them aggressive and ugly and that they'd instantly go bald. people would literally torment guys who wanted to take T. people were so mean about T back then, not like it's gotten any better. people would yell at transmascs and go "TESTOSTERONE WON'T MAKE YOU INTO AN ANIME TWINK!!!!" and other weird ass shit. people were still treating trans men and mascs this way 10 years ago, it's just gotten worse and worse and worse.

honestly i'm SO sick of people calling AFAB people "whiny". i'm SO sick of it. i'm intersex, i'm not AFAB, and I'M tired of seeing people treat each other like this. it's not cool to hate on AFAB people! it's not cool to make fun of AFAB trans people! it's not cool to refuse to say trans man and say "AFAB trans person" instead! it's not cool to be an asshole!!!!!!!!!!! i'm gonna say it:

if you perceive an AFAB trans person or """"THEY-FAB""" talking about their issues in a serious manner as "whining," you are being misogynistic as fuck. if you think that people assigned female at birth are inherently whiny literally just for TALKING, you are being misogynistic as HELL. the fact that word that these people default to is "whiny" speaks a lot. like that specific word is crucial because it tells you literally every single thing they think about AFAB people. it's so misogynistic it makes me literally see red. they are stuck on the fact that that person is AFAB, and because that involves the concept of "female", it means that that person is inherently whiny, stupid, and annoying. this is sexism. this is misogyny. it's NOT progressive, and it becomes transandrophobia really quickly! which is a real thing that you need to care about!

if you've lived a transmasculine or trans man life, you know that transandrophobia is real. that's why i've never understood the "Transandrophobia isn't real" thing because. if it's mostly trans women and transfemmes who aren't also trans men telling you that transandrophobia isn't real... how the hell would they even know that? like ask yourself how the hell would a transfeminine trans woman know what it's like to live as a trans man? it's not comparable to when that woman was a cis man. cis manhood and trans manhood are not the same thing at all in terms of how we're treated societally. you can't compare the way cis men are treated to the way trans men are treated, they're not the same.

if they're not transmasculine, and they're not a trans man... how the hell would they know how people treat transmascs and trans men? i mean seriously think about it. why would you listen to someone other than a trans man about the experiences trans men face. what the hell? like seriously why are we encouraging trans women and transfemmes to talk about the transmasculine experience if they haven't lived it? why are we encouraging trans women and femmes to TALK OVER trans men and mascs? why are we encouraging trans women and transfemmes to speak as experts on a life they literally do not lead? why are we encouraging people who literally don't know what it's like to talk about the experience like they live it every day? this makes no fucking sense.

nobody encourages you to listen to trans men talking about trans women and their experiences and life like they've been there personally. nobody encourages you to listen to trans men explain OTHER PEOPLE'S struggles and identities FOR them. i don't like that we've created a narrative where AMAB trans women and transfemmes are the only ones who are "right" about things and thus the only ones we should listen to, and the only ones who have the right to talk. trans women and transfemmes have so much to offer our community, and we do need to listen. we do need to care about our transfeminine sisters. we do need to listen to what it's like to be a trans woman. trans women and transfemmes can be wildly intelligent, insightful, caring, compassionate and wonderful people, and can know and learn a lot about life, but that doesn't mean that we know every single experience out there firsthand. i don't like the idea that people think that trans women and transfemmes know EVERYTHING about queerness and should be your ONLY resource on it.

i don't like that. it creates an echo chamber.

why can't we let trans men, transmascs, and AFAB trans people speak for themselves? like seriously: why? what's the reason? literally what is the reason because i can't find it. there's literally no good reason to tell someone to shut up just because they're AFAB. have we forgotten the concepts of sexism and bioessentialism?

imagine if people went around saying "whiny they-mabs".

imagine if people were on here saying "whiny AMAB trans people".

the queer community seems to go through cycles where people pick a handful of identities to use as a punching bag and a scapegoat. that's all this is. people want to scapegoat trans men, transmascs, and AFAB trans people into being the "bad actors" that they can blame for all of their problems and "everything that's wrong with the queer community". they want to blame all of their problems on us because facing their problems head on is hard and scary. they want to blame us for everything wrong in the community instead of lifting a finger to improve it. they want to make trans men look like evil, shitty assholes to try to make trans women look better by proxy and it just. isn't. working.

like, as a trans woman, i'm honestly just fucking over the "only listen to trans women/transfemmes" shit because it feels like virtue signalling and an attempt to suck up to us for brownie points. it's really not flattering at all. it's honestly insulting. we're not the monolith of the queer community. we are manipulated, abused, and oppressed, but that doesn't mean you have to shut other people up when they talk about their own oppression. i have to be real with you, so much of this behavior just comes across as people parroting something just so they can be accepted into a group, to belong somewhere. it feels like a lot of insecure people who just want a pat on the back for saying something easy. it feels like people genuinely don't give a shit about what we have to say and are more concerned with showing off "how much they care" about our struggles. you know... virtue signalling. it feels disingenuous and like it's being done for display purposes only.

it also seems like a lot of people just join the queer community because they view it as the Catty Petty Bitch Drama Community. like some people latch on to that really bitchy catty sassy gay man stereotype and think that's all there is to queerness. they think all it is is bullying other people and telling them what to do and being mean for how they dress, act, present and feel. they want someone to bully. they want someone they perceive as weaker than them to harass. they want to join the community so they can pick a "team" to fight against all the other "teams". people want to turn it into an us vs. them within the community itself, and i have no fucking idea why.

if you are frustrated with cisheteronormative society and how it treats you, don't punch laterally. don't punch down on someone who's on your own team. you don't need to hurt other queer people, we aren't the ones who hurt you. you'll feel like an empty husk for the rest of your life if all you do is chase catharsis, as it is fleeting, not fulfilling.

[shininglightmentalhealthevent]

Welcome to the Shining Light Writing Event!

!Sign-up link!

Schedule and other details / explanation below (Note: This is not for any specific fandom, but writing about a fandom is allowed (hence tags))

!! Warning: This event / blog talks about, references, and deals with many sensitive mental health topics, which may be triggering to some people. Interact at your own risk. Any issues that arise from this point on are on you !!

What is this event? This is an online writing event focused on different types of mental health issues/illnesses/conditions, and how styles of writing can be used to help improve & bring awareness to them!

Who can sign up, & what are you looking for? There will not be applications, instead there are open sign ups that will close once an undecided number of people have filled it out. Anyone who is 16 or older and who writes in any style is welcome to join! Poetry, short story, anything. The word range for a typical style writing piece is 300 to 3,000 words. You can focus on an original character, fandom character, or real person in your life.

When are things happening? The Discord server will open at the end of February, and a PDF of the compiled works will be released Mid-May. See the schedule graphic above for more dates, and the schedule channel in the Discord has even more specific info.

Where is it being held? There is a Discord server, the link to which will be shared in an email.

Who is running it? @th3-dark-abyss is the head mod and organizer of this event! There is a team of five other mods helping, who will be credited as well.

Why is this event a thing anyway? Abyss (that's me) is working on their Girl Scout Gold Award! It's the highest award that a scout their age can earn; it requires 80+ service hours towards a project of their choosing that has a lasting, positive impact on a community. There have been a few hurdles, but I'm pushing through and I'd really love if you applied and/or shared the posts wherever you can!

Some Rules / Guidelines ~ We will be dealing with many sensitive topics that are very real issues. Please be kind and considerate. ~ Participating in this event is for over 16 years old only. If you are younger than 16, your sign up will be deleted immediately. (Under 16s feel free to reblog and interact though, at your own risk.) ~ Discrimination or hate of any kind will not be tolerated. ~ The point of this is to spread awareness through writing, to show how creative writing can help improve mental health and well-being, and to convey different people's unique experiences. It is not to stereotype, villainize, or put issues in boxes. ~ Do not make assumptions or state things as facts when they are not. ~ Do not discount others and their experiences just because you aren't familiar. ~ The askbox is open if you have any other questions or comments!

---

If you are having a mental health crisis and need help, contact 988 (National Mental Health Hotline). Here is a website with some help hotlines if you need to reach out for help. (I am in the US, so this is likely for my area. If this doesn't have one, let me know and I will help you find a line for your area.)

You are not alone ❤️

---

Keep your eyes out for the sign-up form, and please enjoy!!

[the-bar-sinister]

I really genuinely hate the present state of fandoms right now. I hate the way people tag nonsense so I can't find fanart from fanfic from memes. I hate that I can't go into any of the character tags without having a really bad time because people will tag anything with the character's name regardless of relevancy. And Tumblr has zero interest in organizing posts in any meaningful order so you can never find what you actually want. Heaven forbid this site use a real search system with some sort of flare or whatever. None of the other social media sites are any better. Discord is only good if you already know people and even then it's pretty cliquey. I genuinely do not know how anyone enjoys themselves in fandom spaces anymore. I hate that I have to keep blocking people and it doesn't help. I once blocked someone, and they didn't realize it because they had multiple accounts. I did not know that either. So we were both really surprised when they tried to interact with my fanfic and they couldn't and they managed to circumvent around it anyway. It was an extremely awkward day for me. Something is extremely unhealthy about the current state of things and I don't know what it is. We weren't ever really 'nice' to each other in fandom spaces, but dammit it wasn't this

It's because we all used to have separate spaces (forums and websites) divided by topic but now we all have to share one space.

The "i love character x" posts are mixed in with the "i hate character x" posts and the fanart posts are mixed in with the memes and the people who are making serious meta posts about the show are mixed in with the people who are shipping everything.

We used to be divided by topic. On forums, things used to be divided even more narrowly. You'd go to the "show x" forum, and if you wanted to completely ignore the memes, you could because they were in the memes category. And if you wanted to completely ignore the fanfic, you could because it was all in the fanfic category.

But now it's all just soup.

[adventuringblind]

Don't Lie to Me, Darling

Oscar Piastri x Reader

Genre: Ghoulverse smut,

Summary: Its nerve wracking being a virgin, even more so when your boyfriend is a ghoul and could eat you if he wanted. She tries to lie to him about it and Oscar takes that personally.

Warnings: Corruption, overstimulation, talks of eating people, minor blood, restraint via Oscar's tail, PinV, monster fucking (technically speaking)

Notes: This... is unholy. Bless whoever requested this!!!

Side Note: You can explore the ghoulverse by searching the ghoulverse tag or a specific driver by driversname.ghoulverse the tag

Masterlist // Request Form // My Website // buy me a Ko-Fi

It's not like she was expecting to feel aroused from something as small as Oscar's tongue. Which, objectively speaking, is longer than any human tongue. Short for a ghoul, however.

She's been watching him lick his lips in concentration while playing COD for an hour now. It's driving her insane with need.

A need she doesn't know what to do with. She's never done this before. Acting on her sexual needs is a foreign concept.

Oscar keeps eyeing her suggestively and shifting around on the couch. He's purposely making his lap inviting and she hates it. Is this an invitation? She can't tell and doesn't want to embarrass herself either, so she refrains.

Oscar puts the controller down and stares at her. Eyes dark, intense, and staring into her soul. "Darling, anything you want to tell me?"

"I'm fine, Osc, really." She throws him a smile, but Oscar only furrows his eyebrows. He crawls over her body, pushing her onto her back.

"Are you sure about that?" She nods, blushing furiously. "Nice try love but Lying gets you nowhere. I can smell the slick leaking from you. I can see you staring at me from over there."

She can't breathe. The air from her lungs is stripped away as Oscar runs his tongue across her neck. She whimpers underneath him. Unsure of what too do in the scenario.

"I can smell your fear."

"I've - I've never done this before..."

Oscar gets off the couch and hoists her up with no effort. He carries her to his bedroom and tosses her onto the bed. It's annoying how effortless it is for him.

He crawls over her and licks another stripe from her shoulder to her ear. "Tell me to stop and I will, but darling-" Oscar presses his nose to her the nape of her neck and inhales. "You smell so good."

She writhes beneath him. Her body aches for him. "Need you, please."

The verbal confirmation gives Oscar the room he needs to let go of whatever was holding him back. He rips he clothes off her body. Too impatient to undress her sanely.

His lips find hers while he does so. His tongue forces its way into her mouth, long enough to reach the back of her throat. She's choking on it, unable to breathe anything else but Oscar.

He only pulls back when he's got her in just her under garments. Oscar's dark eyes trail her body. He looks like he might literally eat her. The fear only stays for a second when gentle and nimble fingers unclasp her bra and toss it away. "Fucking hell love, how did I get so lucky? You are the prettiest thing I've ever seen." Oscar moans in a breathless manner that makes her own breath catch in her throat.

Oscar notices her mild apprehension. The fear tinging her addictive scent confuses him. "Do you want to stop?"

His gentleness nearly makes her cry. The rapid shake of denial, however, makes her dizzy. "But can you - maybe..." She fiddles with the hem of his shirt. He throws her a playful smirk. Skilled hands manage to get his shirt around his horns and is thrown onto the floor.

She ogles his body. To distracted by his toned abdomen and skin dotted with the constellation of moles to notice the fact she's drooling.

"Oh love, I'm going to ruin you. Make you mine and make sure everybody knows it." She squeaks at him and tries to cover the blush spreading across her cheeks. Oscar pins her before her hands can even touch her face. He tuts at her disapprovingly. "I want to see how good I make you feel."

Oscar kisses his way down her body, biting occasionally to mark her untouched skin. He licks over her clothed heat and pulls another embarrassing whine from her.

How he, once again, literally rips her panties with merely his teeth, alludes her. She doesn't have time to think about it. Not when his tongue is finally where she needs it to be.

Oscar dips his abnormally long tongue into her. Her back arches as the muscle travels deeper than any human could go, lapping at her from the inside. She grips the sheets underneath her as her buries himself inside of her cunt.

The noise is obscene. She's not sure how long she is going to last like this. Not with his tongue flicking her g-spot and nose smothering her clit. He's inhaling her, the wild way he grips at her thighs and drags her ever close can attest to that.

She's toeing the line between coherency and giving into whatever this feeling is. As her release gets closer, the only thought she can piece together is his name. Until finally, he has her screaming it.

Jumping to the other side of that line feels too easy as she loses herself to the intense pleasure. Her spin arches off the bed as Oscar demolishes her from the inside. His tail wrapping around her waist to pull her back down and hold her where he wants her.

He, ever so slowly, retracts himself from her. Licking his mess clean as he goes. She tastes so good like this that Oscar could die a sated ghoul.

But god, does he want to taste her for real. "Do you trust me darling? Will you be good for me? Let me make you feel good?"

She strings together pleads between his name being chanted. Oscar takes the que that she's still coming down from her previous high. He makes his way up to her hips. Sharp, elongated canines slip into the supple flesh.

The initial sting causes her to shriek. It's gone a mere second later and is replaced by the wonderful sensation of Oscar licking at the would he'd put there.

A massive show of trust on her end that doesn't go unnoticed by Oscar. That being said, she wants more and the Aussie, intent on not actually hurting her, tightens the grip he has on her with his tail.

This shouldn't make her feel as good as it is, but Oscar is going feral with whatever he can get of her. Her hands, the part Oscar is not restraining, instinctively grab at the rough surface of her horns.

She feels like the two of them in their own world. With the way Oscar is pressed against her with lust filled dark eyes and vibrating. "Shit, love, you taste heavenly."

Oscar, on the verge of losing all his sanity, switches their bodies around so he can straddle her. The devastated tears and whined please escape her like Oscar is going to just leave her with nothing. He kisses the tears away, her desperate eyes bore into her soul, reading every little twitch her body makes. "I know, darling. I'll give you what you need."

He keeps a hand on her as he rids himself of the rest of his clothes. And - christ - There is that tinge of fear again. The fact Oscar looks scarily... large? She's nothing to compare it to aside from maybe some sketchy porn.

"Do you want to stop? We don't have to go any farther." Always so considerate. Frankly, she'd rather him just decide for her and take the stress of thing away. In her uncoherent state of mind and willing Oscar to just touch her in some way, she mumbles out a verbal response.

The tearing of a package can be heard from somewhere in the room. Dread, arousal, and Oscar's name are the only things filling her mind as she stares at him.

Until he's back over the top of her.

Until he's lining up to take her.

Until... Until... "Do you want this?"

She settles for throwing herself upwards, meeting his lips with her own. She's wrapped up in his arms enough for him to steadily, and with complete control over, get inside her body.

The tears of pain are nothing compared to the other whirlwind of emotions. The closeness of Oscar as he takes her, slowly at first. Then he's toppling over her again and snapping his hips at an angle that has her body going staticky.

He licks and sucks at the sensitive spot on her clavicle. But he doesn't bite down, not yet.

Its rhythmic and calculated despite the fact he is growling in her ear. She adds animalistic to the list.

"All mine~" Is said against the all-important spot on her neck. "Gonna claim you, mark you up."

The line between anything remotely a sane thought and the overwhelming pleasure is becoming progressively blurred. She can only see, hear, feel, and taste, nothing except Oscar. Everything is him and it's all consuming.

"Osc - I'm-" The feeling she's only ever brought herself is seconds away from dragging her under.

"Shh darling, you're so good. Let go for me, yeah?"

Despite Oscar's growls growing in volume, he doesn't falter. Which makes her feel a bit silly considering she is a mess in his arms. Her fingernails claw at his skin. She is wailing his name because it's the only thing her mind can muster up at the moment.

The layer of sweat and Oscar's breathe hitting her skin is the first thing to register. He's stopped moving, fingers caressing her trembling body with car.

"Did I - was that... good?" Oscar can smell the hits of insecurity. A scent he doesn't want to ever smell on her again.

"Perfect. Heaven. Amazing. I'm ruined for life and addicted to you alone - I could go on for ages, but we might want to consider cleaning up."

She hums, still latched onto him. "Did you mean what you said?"

"Every last word."

"Even the part about - marking me?" The last part comes out as a squeak.

"Love, I would do anything you asked. If you want it, I'm here. But I'm not leaving unless you tell me to." Oscar holds her closer. His nose once again finding his favorite spot in the crook of her neck. "For now, though, did you enjoy yourself? I didn't hurt you at all, did I?"

"The scary human eating ghoul who is caressing me like I'm a porcelain doll after making me cry for him, is asking if I'm okay?" She pulls his head up to make him see how elated she is at the moment. "Best possible way to lose my virginity."

"Can't say I'm sad you lost it since it's mine now."

"All yours~"

[love-toxin]

https://www.tumblr.com/love-toxin/781145448004059136/ellie-i-just-need-to-let-you-know-how-well-you?source=share

Who else is up there with the creep factor? Tsung is top of course

But I can imagine Makoi sending his boys off to trail his new interest and jerking off to the pictures. Same with Ken, creating a special personal medical file for his darling, with samples of their blood, skin, hair, pictures of them unconscious, maybe a used needle. Or maybe that's more our beloved cannibal doctor.

Just who else can be slimy and creepy?

HEHE!!!

You might not think of them off the bat, but Umi can be super duper creepy....just not in person. They have dozens of burner accounts online and will spend hours of their free time stalking you over the internet, from scrolling through your social media pages to sifting through your web activity to figure out what websites you like to visit and where you have accounts made. Eventually it can get to the point that they manage to get ahold of your passwords and email addresses and it's all over from there--they'll take up space right next to you without you even knowing it, and ensure that they read over every chat message you've ever sent and check out every dirty website you've ever visited. They'll even start deleting emails and messages from people they deem unworthy to talk to you, and god help those who send you hate anonymously or even cyberbully you. Umi can be so much more threatening than a few mean messages, especially when they forward your harassers some pictures of their own houses and the address of their workplace. They might be cute and seem perfect on stream, but they're ten times as creepy when they're in a hoodie at their computer in the dark, scanning the pictures you post for any hints of someone else in your life that might take you from them.

Ingrid will masturbate to just about anything you leave laying behind, but he's especially fond of your clothes. This behaviour isn't exclusive to when you're in a relationship or you even know Ingrid beforehand, because he'll start doing it before you ever even pay him any attention if he notices you first. This does unfortunately extend to your pillows and plushies but he feels particularly guilty about that, and in stalking you he'll try to figure out which ones are the most special or comforting so he doesn't ruin those ones. It's difficult, but he tries! He's a rabid clothes thief but he at least tries to return them before you notice him taking the next ones, although he doesn't always return them clean. Despite it being horrendously creepy, he likes watching you leave the house in an outfit he used to bring himself pleasure, knowing fully well that you're oblivious to the scent and sweat of him that's rubbing up against your skin with every step.

(cws: light predatory lesbian/nc kink)

Jiyu is one of those people who is so outgoing that she sort of adopts you as her friend without your say-so, but it just devolves quicker and quicker into her swallowing up all your time and attention. You'll go from meeting her to chatting a bit to her showing up at your house unannounced, blowing up your phone, and tugging you along to outings if not insisting on tagging along to yours. But she's so nice, friendly, and generous that she almost nicely bullies you into accepting her invasion into your life, because it's hard to say no to her when she compliments you so often and seems to uphold you as the perfect friend, and the perfect person in general. She's like a lovebomber without the mean side of manipulation; but that's the whole problem, because she genuinely believes you're the most wonderful person in the world to the point that she doesn't think anybody else can compare. That's when her creepy side really comes out--she still calls herself your "friend", but she crawls into bed with you during sleepovers and spoons you like she can't get close enough. She shares everything from cutlery to water bottles and jokes about indirect kisses, and if you're ♀️ female-presenting, it's so much worse because she hammers in the "we're both girls!" excuse whenever she gets way too passionate with you. Unfortunately for you, it really turns her on to test how far she can go and see if she can pressure you into more under the guise of 'friendly experimentation'. In fact, it easily escalates into her becoming more and more intimate with you especially if you try to insist that you're just friends or you're not into girls like that, because Jiyu is insistent on finding a way to be the closest to you. No boyfriends, no friends, no family can ever match her affection for you, or else she'll just have to make sure they don't get near you at all.

Hyun-jin sneaks into your house while you're sleeping and sets up cameras to watch you. He's so skilled at it that you'll probably never notice, mostly because he's done it many times before and knows the best places to hide them that you'll never suspect. The others he's done it to weren't for personal reasons but business ones--there's always a good reason to place a camera and record a rival's activities--but rather than stream it on the dark web or sell the password to an invested buyer, these are all for himself. He has the livestream on constantly so he can check on you whenever he feels like it, and likes to go to bed at the same time as you when he can so he can fall asleep to the sound of you breathing. It helps him see the most private side of you there is so he can know you better than you even know yourself, and even in your embarrassing moments he just giggles and thinks it's adorable. But if you ever get a partner or have someone over to hang out in your room, then things might get a little....dicey. And very, very bloody.

If he's interacted with you over the internet before he's met you in real life, Conrad will put together a sort of life-size doll of you--mostly of pillows, clothes, and some shapewear to make it more similar to your figure--so he can have sex with it. It's not really a delusion thing, he knows it's a doll, and he doesn't really treat it as if it's you by talking to it or propping it up to eat dinner with him or anything. But it's definitely a tool to satisfy his more carnal desires when he needs them satiated. He doesn't really get too lonely out in the rural country because he's used to it, it's been his entire life, but he does get insatiably horny when he knows his perfect person is out there but he can't have them just yet. And he's pretty brutal with the doll version of you, sometimes in ways that unnerves even himself. It doesn't really do the job for him to hump it after a bit and he's gotta cave, so he might end up purchasing a sex toy from the market in the city so it feels more real to stick it inside. He would never tell you he has it for fear of scaring you away from ever visiting him, but he definitely puts the poor thing through the ringer if you ever say something even mildly suggestive to him in the heat of the moment. And if he asks you the seemingly innocent question of what kind of perfume/spray/cologne you use, just know that it's not just for him to have a sweet reminder of you in his daily life. It's definitely to spray on the clothes he's gonna fuck you in in real life one day.