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zer0pm · 2 years ago

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Imagine Luis hugging you closely as you two navigate through the darkness of Castle Salazar. But not just because he didn’t want to lose track of you…

“Luis, what the hell are you doing?”

“One would think someone as intelligent as you would be able to tell when they’re being embraced. And by such a dashing man, I might add.”

You roll your eyes and proceed to bend your elbow back with swift force. Although you couldn’t see behind you, the contact with leather and the sound of him cursing in his native tongue was a sure satisfactory sign that you landed a perfect hit. He didn’t let go of you completely, but he did loosen his grip so that he wasn’t completely pressed against your behind. His closeness caused your cheeks to burn and you were thankful that it was dark.

The two of you found yourselves wandering warily inside the castle, having been forced to evade Saddler’s plaga-infected cultists once again. Their pursuit chased you inside a series of rooms devoid of light save for a few torches dimly lit with strange purple flames. As the torches were steadfastly stuck on the walls, it would have been difficult to navigate through the area without a reliable source of light on hand. Thankfully, on one of the side tables, you found a lantern already lit. This one burned a distinctive, eerie blue flame and like a moth, you were drawn to it, picking it up gingerly in your hand. It offered little in terms of illumination, but it was enough to help you get a grasp of your surroundings.

By then, your Spanish companion took it upon himself to attach his body to yours. His excuse, he didn’t want to lose you amidst the darkness despite the lantern offering enough light to allow some distance. He didn’t relent even as you shared this fact, creating the excuse that he didn’t want to take the chance especially as monsters could be lurking about anywhere and wanted to be ready to leap to your protection. While he had a point, if you had to guess, it was more likely that the notorious flirt just wanted to be close to you. For the moment, you let it go and moved on to lead you both through the abyss. Upon further inspection, you discovered that the two of you are in a library of sorts. One of many, as Luis candidly pointed out.

“And vastly interconnecting,” he added. In the darkness, his lips thinned into a pensive line before curving to that of delighted realization. “Actually, this place looks familiar. There should be a few hidden rooms somewhere around here. ¡Rápido! Look for a grandfather clock.”

He advises to act quickly yet the man still has his arms wrapped around your waist, restricting your movements. “You know, it’s hard to look for anything let alone move at the pace we’re going what with you holding onto me like this.”

“Hm?” The man hummed, intrigue rumbling in this throat. “How should I hold you, then?”

You scoff. This man is incorrigible. Yet as insufferable as Luis is most of the time, he is also undeniably charming. If you weren’t struggling to stay alive, you’d enjoy private moments like these with him.

As if reading your thoughts, he spoke up. “You know, if not for the certainty of danger lurking in quite literally every corner of this terrible place, this would be a rather romantic setting. Don’t you think?”

“What are you on about this time?”

“C’mon, just think.” The dark-haired man steps around to snake his arm around your shoulders and reposition his tall frame against your side. It was easier to walk this way for certain, but now you can see each other’s faces. You hope he can’t see how flushed your cheeks are. “You, me, and a single candle light. All that’s missing is fine dining with some wine and this would make a most promising night worth remembering.”

“I have a feeling that this whole journey is going to be memorable whether we like it or not,” you sigh. “So what, then? Like a date?”

Luis shrugs, “If that is what you would like it to be.”

Why can’t this guy ever be straight with you? As flirty and playful as he can be with his teasing, there are far too few instances where you can tell he’s being genuine. This is not one of those instances. And over such an intimate topic. You decided to bite the bullet and prod further.

“What would you want it to be, Luis?”

He pauses, clearly not expecting you to turn it around on him. The man twists his head to look into your eyes thoughtfully, the blue flame reflecting off his brilliant silver hues. There was a glint in his gaze that bordered on something hopeful and you wondered if you returned it. As if in doing so, it would drive from him the answer you wanted him to say. However, his lips didn’t move and although the words danced upon the tip of your tongue, you bit them back out of pride. Luis catches how your jaw moved when you clenched your teeth and opened his mouth to break the silence.

Clank!

You both freeze in place.

“What’s that sound?”

“No se-”

Clunk! Shhft!

That sounded alarmingly close. You flash the lantern towards one of the countless bookshelves and through the thin openings, you see movement on the other side. Its figure is hard to discern but the way that the light reflects off its body, you deduce that they are covered in some type of metal armor. You and Luis aren’t alone anymore. Luis squeezes your shoulder and when you turn to face him, he had his pointed finger pressed against his lips. Nodding, you two kept walking as quietly as possible while also keeping a low head and an eye on the mysterious figure walking about. It didn’t seem to notice you and you thought you were in the clear until you heard another set of heavy steel footsteps thumping on the side.

The steps grew faster towards you and out of panic, you flash the lantern that way to see what was coming. The light reveals an animated suit of armor running at you with a sword raised high. You were about to run for it until you felt a familiar hand upon your waist, keeping you in place. You struggled against Luis’ hold, stricken with horror. Just as you were about to scream at him to let you go, he takes a firm grasp of your hand that held the lantern and lifts both of your hands upward towards the armor. Your eyes flinch to a tight close, shoulders tense of what you assumed to be your impending doom…

But the steps have stopped, the limbs of the armor come to a screeching halt and you open your eyes to see this new, terrifying enemy completely stationary, as if frozen on the spot.

“Huh. That’s new.” Luis comments with intrigue evident in this voice. “A mutated variant capable of using non-organic hosts. Salazar has been busy.”

So many questions flooded into your mind but your anger took over your voice. You glare at him over your shoulder, miffed over how calm he is given that he nearly gave you a heart attack. “How about a little warning next time?”

Shhft! Shfft! Shhft!

That’s definitely not good. It sounded like you two are surrounded and while the castle is huge, the rooms in the library are packed tight with shelves and thin aisles. A step in the wrong direction would spell your end.

Luis speaks up, “I have an idea. Do you trust me?”

Did you have a choice? The man practically drags you by the arm, managing to sneak you both behind the cover of a book-filled aisle. The tall, thick volumes block the lantern’s light from the plagas’ view. Leading you both into a crouch, he guides you through the library. You could do nothing but follow, keeping a careful ear to the movement around you. After several careful turns, you enter another dark room and stop right before a grandfather clock. Luis takes the lantern from your hand and a rare, serious expression settles on his rugged features.

He whispers, “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”

“Wait, what are you-”

He dashes off before you can finish your sentence. How a man can move that fast and not make a sound is beyond your comprehension. Completely alert, you watch his retreating form go down what looked like a long corridor. In the darkness, only the light illuminated his shape, making him appear like a shadow. You couldn’t see what he was doing but before you could ponder further, the walls seemed to shift in the distance, consuming the light and leaving your sight with only the only void.

Panic fills you like insects crawling into your pounding heart. Terror pricks upon your spine in chilling shudders. What did Luis do? Where did Luis go? Did Luis leave you?

You thought about calling out to him but the familiar sound of steel-capped footfalls fills your ears. You back yourself into the wall, making yourself as small as possible and hold you breath, daring not to make a single sound. The armored plaga are so close, the sharp clangs of metal echo off the walls in rhythm of your blood pumping. You thought for certain that it was over when one dreadful step resounded against the floorboard right beside you but a harsh thud in the distance catches the attention of the overgrown parasites. The plaga rush towards the noise and you listen carefully for their footsteps to echo further in the distance before sighing softly in relief.

Believing it would be best not to linger in this spot longer than necessary, you were about to shift to a stand until something firm gripped onto your shoulder. You nearly gasped aloud in shock, but your mouth is covered by what felt like a warm hand.

“Calma, calma.”

Luis’ thick accent reaches your ears in a soft, soothing whisper and you immediately relax under his touch. Remembering yourself, you slap his hand away and admonish him through clenched teeth.

“Luis, what the hell?!”

“No time for questions. Follow me.”

You hear him shuffle before you, the lack of light making it very difficult to make out what he was doing. After a minute, you hear the soft click of a mechanism and the low dragging of something heavy scuffing against the wooden floor. The hand on your shoulder swiftly slides down to grip your arm and you’re once again dragged through the darkness. The rush of your pace was short lived as Luis lets go of you. His body heat retreats from you and you nearly reached out for him, but your hand stops midair when you hear him tinkering offside and the familiar mechanism shifts gears. He must have led you both to one of the hidden rooms he mentioned before and just closed the entrance behind you.

“There. We’re safe. For the time being,” the Spaniard says.

You take in some much needed breath at his words. Once you have completely relaxed and was certain that you were not in immediate danger, you steal a moment to absorb your new surroundings and come to a familiar conclusion- it was dark as hell!

As you were about to ask what the next part of Luis’ genius plan was now that you have successfully evaded your armored pursuers, a soft click echoes off the wooden walls. Your curious eyes catch a small flame burning a ways from you, the warm light casting a warm glow against a familiar figure. It was Luis. With a lighter in hand.

You blink. “Have you had that this entire time?”

The man was hunched over one of the lower shelves of a large bookcase, tossing aside several books over his shoulders without a care for the amount of noise he made with his rummaging.

“Hey, are you listening to me?” you said as you beelined to his side. “What are you doing now, Luis?”

He responds without looking at you, “Un momento. It should be… ¡Oye! Found it!”

His hand lifts from the recesses of the shelf, revealing a rectangular tin container.

You blink, “It’s a box.”

It was Luis’ turn to roll his eyes. “Not just any box. Suppressants. This should help our two American friends with their parasite problem.”

His words perk you up to attention immediately. “That’s great! We should tell Leon and Ashley right away.” Your hand moves towards the communicator you keep on your person. However, again, Luis’ voice stops you.

“Not yet.”

You quirk your brow at him inquisitively. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

The dark-haired man shakes his head. “Nada. Rest assured, we’ll break the good news. But first, ¿por qué no nos tomamos un descanso?”

He wants to take a break? When you uncovered such a critical find?

You countered, “You really think now is the time for a breather?”

He responds with a shrug, “Now would probably be the only time, my friend. This room is completely safe, I promise. And I have every intention of savoring the moment it has to offer. You’re free to join me.”

The finality in his words truly left you with no room to argue. And boy, did you want to argue. But the ache in your muscles begged for rest and truthfully, the idea grew more tempting by the second.

Eventually, you cave. “Five minutes. And we keep going.”

Luis grins, “I can work with that. Next time will be longer.”

With that, his lighter closes with another metal click, killing the only light in the room and effectively rendering your sense of sight useless once more. You didn’t realize he moved until you felt his warmth breath fanning against your face, your nostrils taking in his musk.

“And for the record,” his voice comes off low and deep. “Me encantaría salir contigo.”

Before you could ask him to repeat himself as you didn’t quite catch that last part, he silences you with his lips pressed against yours, warm hands returning to your waist and pulling you close.

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intersex-support · 5 months ago

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I've always suspected I was intersex since I was young and heard of it, now that I'm older and I'm getting close to a diagnosis of PCOS, I got checked for high testosterone I have high testosterone, even after everything; I still feel so hesitant to call myself intersex. I just want advice about this? It's been hard for me to accept this despite all the traits I show. I feel so hesitant to use intersex terms, to call myself intersex. Advice?

Hi anon.

You're definitely not alone in struggling to accept your intersex identity and feeling conflicted about what it means for you. When I first got diagnosed with my intersex variation, I felt really overwhelmed and emotional. Even though I was already a little bit familiar with what intersex meant, realizing that it applied to me, and that I was actually intersex, brought up all these other questions and insecurities about my gender, my childhood, other parts of my identity. And so, so many of my intersex friends have had similar experiences.

I think something that makes it really hard to accept yourself as intersex is the amount of systemic discrimination we face. We grow up in a world founded around compulsory dyadism--the way that the (mythical) sex binary is forced onto everyone, and how people who deviate from the sex binary are erased, "fixed," and have our intersex traits eradicated. When we grow up in a society where every form only has an "m" and "f" box, where there's all this shame surrounding things like body hair, micropenises, etc, where we're told that intersex is incredibly "rare"--it's so hard to feel like we can actually exist as intersex! Our society makes it feel like it isn't even possible in the first place, and then also places all these dehumanizing and pathologizing stereotypes on us once we do find out we are intersex.

But the truth is, of course we're allowed to exist as intersex, and we aren't rare! One thing that's really beautiful to me about the intersex community is that we have so much variety, in terms of our different diagnoses and life experiences. There truly is not one singular universal intersex experience. There's not a "right" or "wrong" way to be intersex. There's as many different intersex experiences as there are intersex people. You know that you have intersex traits, you have test results, you are the expert on your body. You are intersex enough, and your experiences are a meaningful and valuable part of the intersex community.

It's definitely a journey to embrace your intersex identity, and it's not something you need to rush before you're ready. I'll share some things that really helped me when I was in that process, and other intersex followers, feel free to add on things that helped you!

Learning more about intersex history, culture, and politics. It was super meaningful for me to understand that there is an intersex community and that we do have this in depth history, that we're not alone and that people have been intersex for years and years! You can check out this post for a bunch of resources about intersex community, videos, art, articles, etc. It helped me a lot to find people experiencing intersex joy and understanding that as a possibility.

Practicing calling myself intersex in welcoming spaces. At first, I was only out as intersex online in an anonymous blog, because that felt like a safer way to practice referring to myself as intersex without having to come out to people yet.

Joining in intersex community spaces and lurking! I wasn't necessarily ready to start talking about my experiences right away, but meeting other intersex people who welcomed me was super important. If you're under 30, @interactyouth has a discord server. Interconnect also has a discord server and online support group meetings for people of all ages. @intersexbookclub is a super great community that has a discord server and regular book club meetings to discuss books.

Taking it slow and practicing self care. Discovering that you're intersex can be such an emotional experience. For me, journaling is a way that I really like to help process my thoughts and take care of myself. It can sometimes be helpful to incorporate whatever self care looks like for you.

Overall, know that you are intersex, you are allowed to call yourself intersex, and you are not an imposter here. You belong here, and there's a whole community that has your back.

Welcome to the intersex community. I'm glad you're here 💜💜💜

#asks #actuallyintersex #actually intersex #intersex

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folliesandfolderols · 10 months ago

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Writing prompts days 24, 25, 26

(Once again combined because work murders my ability to have a word count and be a functional human being.)

From this prompt list. I set a goal of writing at least 150 words per day in 2024, which sounds pretty pathetic but if you take into account the fact that I haven’t written any fiction since 2019 it felt like a feasible target. And then somehow it turned into “I’m going to write a single interconnected story utilizing all of these prompts” which ?????, what can I say, I am incredibly foolish and there's no limit to my capacity for self-deceit.

read from the beginning here

Days 22 & 23 here

~~~

149. “I don’t care, I just need these clothes off so I can fully feel you against me.”

~~~

For all his half-serious warnings about Oracle watching them both, Tim almost couldn't keep his hands to himself for the rest of the night. It was as if he were possessed by the need to grab onto Damian and hold tight, whereas Damian apparently had no problem making responsible choices with his own hands. And mouth. And everything else.

The third time Tim leaned down from a higher vantage point to kiss the top of his head, Damian grumbled, "If you're going to do that, we would do better to head back to your apartment now, because I will be of no use to the city at this rate." Despite the complaint, the corners of his mouth kept pulling up in a smile he immediately tried to wipe from his face. "You are distracting."

Tim grinned down at him from the fire escape where he hung suspended by his knees. "Think of it as a training exercise. After all, you never know when you might have to fight Killer Croc when you'd rather focus on a date with a new significant other." The thought made him feel vaguely uncomfortable. Probably because he wasn't used to the idea of Damian being romantically interested in anyone. It would take a while to adjust to the youngest of them having grown-up relationships.

Ugh. He shouldn't have eaten dinner before he came out because now hanging around upside down was nauseating him.

He straightened up and started climbing away from Damian. "Well?" he tossed over his shoulder. "Are you going to join me up there? Or do you want to be unprepared some night in the future?"

"The fact that you are questioning my preparedness makes me wonder if you suffered a head injury before joining me," Damian shot back, but Tim heard the whir of his grapple gun passing him to hook onto the roof ledge all the same.

No matter what distraction Damian claimed, Tim couldn't help but notice that they made a good fighting team. When he was younger, Damian would have charged in as if he were unaccompanied, desperate for glory and to prove Tim's inferior birth. Now, after a decade of rigorous intervention by Dick and even sometimes Bruce, he still charged in without hesitation, but he worked in tandem with Tim, staying aware of where they both were in a fight and covering Tim's back when necessary. He even managed to spit out a "thank you" once when Tim came to his aid.

Altogether, they managed to interfere with five muggings, rout a few robbers, give lollipops to a couple of kids playing on a fire escape before helping them get back in the apartment they'd locked themselves out of, find the kids' mother and give her a WE HR department card so she could stop working night shift at the shit diner down the corner, and rescue one terrified cat from a telephone pole before it was time to turn in for the night. Tim hadn't had so much fun on patrol in a while. He made a mental note to add the possibility of more frequent pair-ups into the scheduling algorithm for those who might want them.

"Are you going back to the Cave first?" he asked Damian once they'd restrained their final criminal for the night and dumped him outside the nearest GCPD substation. They stood on a couple of gargoyles grimacing from the bank across the street, keeping a desultory eye on the guy and timing how long it took for someone to notice he was on the doorstep.

Damian hesitated. "Would it be all right if I didn't?"

Tim angled his body to hide his mouth from the cameras in the area, then noticed one of Babs's aerial drones buzzing behind Damian. He sank to a crouch as if peering at the cops hauling their newest arrest to his feet at the door and cupped his hand over his mouth. Oh, wow, would you look at that amazing sight, unbelievable. "You wanna just shower at my place? Won't Bruce have questions about all the times you've been spending the night?"

Damian shrugged. "If he does, I'll continue to profess our dedication to the weapons smuggling case. He can't deny that we've been making progress on it."

Tim smiled behind his palm. "Come over now, then."

He beat Damian back to the Nest by a few minutes—not enough to do more than take off his domino and pry off his gloves and boots in the foyer before he heard a soft knock. He dropped the latter onto the floor and swung the door open. "I left it unlocked for you."

Damian shrugged. He'd removed his domino, but otherwise was in his full gear. "I don't wish to assume I can invade your space without an explicit invitation."

Tim pulled him inside by the front of his tunic and locked the door behind him, then reset the alarm system. "Consider it issued."

Damian's hands came up to grasp his shoulders as soon as Tim turned back to face him. "May I kiss you?" His expression was as remote as if he were asking the time.

Tim meant to answer, but got distracted for a second staring up into Damian's eyes, trying to read whatever he was hiding behind the dispassion. God, he was so attractive. Just really, really beautiful, aesthetically speaking. Tim wanted to lay him out like a buffet.

A tiny shift in the muscles around Damian's mouth signaled a suppressed smile. "Drake. I'm fairly certain you meant to answer the question I asked."

"Oh?" Tim asked distractedly, then, "oh! Yes, yeah, of course, please do kiss me."

Damian lowered his face to Tim's, and Tim practically melted at the warm, careful press of his lips. Damian wasn't tentative, per se, but he was exploratory, each movement of his mouth testing Tim's response. If I do this, will you like it? This? Let me in, please.

Tim kissed him back, dizzy with the unaccustomed physical comfort of someone else’s care. His hands slid up to cup Damian's neck, feeling the frantic pulse beneath his fingertips. Damian shifted his grip to Tim's hips and dragged him flush against his front. Their body armor kept Tim from feeling much more than the rise and fall of Damian's chest against his torso, and his cup was already starting to chafe. He pulled back just enough to speak, but Damian made the tiniest sound of protest so he had to keep kissing him between words. "Let's—" kiss "—go back—" kiss "to my room." kiss kiss kiss

"I have not yet showered," Damian replied. "Nor taken off my boots, for that matter."

Tim tried to kiss his neck and grimaced when he got a faceful of Kevlar instead as Damian shifted. "I don’t care, I just need these clothes off so I can fully feel you against me. We can shower together."

Now it was Damian's turn to say, "Oh. That would be . . . acceptable."

Tim couldn't repress a grin. "I'm glad you agree."

Day twenty-seven here

#damitim #tim and damian and 150 prompts #folliefic #like i know what you want

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sadfruittheatre · 2 years ago

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Name: Aneas

Age: Over 5000 (equivalent to a 15-year-old)

Gender: Nonbinary (he/they)

Species: Shinjin/Core Person (I lovingly call them fruitboys)

Height: 4’

Likes: gardening, sewing, cooking, romance novels, and corny jokes

Dislikes: himself, silence, people who are rude to/about his wife, aphids, and high shelves

Fears: fucking up his job and also that one day his plants will suddenly become sentient and start revealing everything he’s ever told them, or alternately start judging him or telling him they hate him

Personality: Aneas is generally very shy, reserved, and nervous. He doesn’t like to stand out, and he doesn’t even think he should. That said, he always tries to be amicable and kind, and if you get to know him, he’ll talk your ear off about the things he’s interested in. He’s a hopeless romantic and catches feelings easily— so easily, in fact, that he is already married (to someone his own age, don’t worry), and takes his duties as a husband very seriously.

However, he also struggles with a lot of internal darkness. He’s severely depressed, which can often manifest as anger, bitterness, and thoughts of violence. Said violent thoughts are especially likely to become violent actions if you upset his wife in any way, shape, or form. His self-esteem is incredibly low and he’s often prone to jealousy and projecting his own insecurities onto others. He hates this part of himself and trying to be a good person in spite of his darker impulses only adds to the imposter syndrome he already feels.

Background: Aneas is from Universe 5, one of the four universes (out of twelve) that isn’t some degree of a dumpster fire, and for the most part, has lived a pretty average life. He was an average kid, with average skills and an average amount of friends. And that was perfectly fine by him, until his friend Bragi suddenly had a lot less time to hang out thanks to all the special classes he was in. He was worried that this development would potentially spell out the end of their friend group, so he decided that he would try to study and train hard so he could bridge that gap between them.

However, not everyone is born with natural talent. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t catch up. He couldn’t even come close to catching up. The repeated failed efforts had done a number on his self-esteem, and in an unfortunate case of projection, he was sure his friend thought he was as stupid and useless as he did, so eventually, he just sort of gave up. Not just on this, but everything. He sort of just coasted by until one day, it was announced that there would be a lottery held to find the next West Kai.

Aneas entered his name into the drawing on a dare and lo and behold, it was the first time he’d won a drawing for anything. He was entirely too young and entirely too unqualified, but the lottery had spoken. And so, armed with some basic training from the other Kais, he made his new home on a tiny planet somewhere in the Other World where he would watch over his quadrant of the universe and try to figure out what in the hell he was doing.

His mental health was already bad enough, and none of this was helping much, but in a desperate attempt to keep himself from spiraling any further, he took up gardening. It took a lot of trial and error, but it proved to be something he was really good at. It wasn’t long before most of his little planet was filled with plants, all with their own names and personalities and meticulously interconnected lore. Was he going a little crazy? Probably. But talking to an audience that could never possibly judge him for his darkest thoughts wound up being incredibly therapeutic.

However, his life would change dramatically once again when he was more or less voluntold to be a parole officer for a high profile prisoner of the Time Patrol because no one else wanted to do it. Coulie, the apprentice of the Demon King’s sister, Towa, was someone with a lot of blood on her hands thanks to her incredibly dubious science experiments, and now she was at his front door. The initial encounter was tense and awkward, but they quickly found some common ground in their loneliness and talking about these more difficult feelings with the plants they worked with all day, and both of them sort of ended up forgetting why they had to meet like this to begin with.

After awhile, Coulie expressed the desire to stay with him once her parole was up, and so, being that they were already raising a beautiful plant named Eugene together, Aneas, sufferer of terminal Shoujo Bitch Disease, saw only one course of action: marriage. It was some wishful thinking that got entirely out of hand, but after a lot of miscommunication and one of Eugene’s leaves blowing in the air, Coulie reciprocated and the two were wed.

However, their peaceful wedded bliss can’t last forever, as their pasts tend to keep coming back to haunt them in various ways, from Aneas’s childhood friends, to Coulie’s former cohort and prince of the Demon Realm, Fu. Not to mention all the gods and demons alike who are more than a little baffled by U5’s baby West Kai marrying U7’s baby demon war criminal.

Will they ever know peace? Will it all come crashing down in divorce? Find out on the next episode of SAD FRUIT THEATRE!

#intro #aneas #spoiler they are probably never getting divorced we can't separate them

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themerelypersonal · 25 days ago

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it's all so quarky

I was reading today in this book about Zen how the present troubles or ceaseless thoughts help us to in our spiritual practice. It reminds me of this verse in the bible I return to often which is James 1:2-4 which says, "2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

I love finding my way back to the teachings of the Bible paired with Zen Buddhism and other spiritual ideas I find interesting. I have returned to the great god or really the universe and it has brought me back into its loving embrace. I am full of joy that I can be in communion again with the great universe as woo woo as that sounds. I thought that everything I had learned the first 25 years of my life had been moot but I am overjoyed to find its relevance in my life and to see those same verses I loved through fresh eyes.

In this book on Zen Buddhism, it talked about this concept of "shoshin" which is this idea of the "beginner's mind." It gave this example of reading a passage of a book that you find particularly interesting and it touches you. You read it once, and find it profound and can't stop thinking about it. Perhaps you ponder that idea while buttering toast, shaving your legs, and even into the next morning's cup of coffee. However, say, following that cup of coffee, you read that passage three more times, or four-- are you still holding onto its meaning? Are you finding you are just reading it for readings sake? Shoshin is approaching things through fresh eyes. Each moment, you have just left the womb and its uncomfortable. You must be reborn constantly. It's quite beautiful. I remember when Ezra was a baby and how he would be fascinated by a clock hanging on a wall. He would stare at it and smile and I would suddenly look at that clock with a new perspective. This little ticking handle on its face with symbols around it like a roulette. This simple wonderful mundane thing. It forever changed the way I saw clocks and other things. Suddenly, a cold water bottle was life changing. The feeling of my bare feet on morning grass earlier was as fulfilling as a shower and feeling the sun against my cheeks made me feel like I had been kissed by god. This new perspective in the last few months has been wonderful. Cheers to the season of the cocoon.

There was this other concept in today's reading of that book that I found really interesting and will add it to my unfolding essay on the present moment which is about the passage of time. This human called Dogen-zenjo said of time that it goes from the present to the past. How interesting and ridiculous and strange! I have been thinking about it all day, all through my evening climb, with me while I shaved my toes which I can barely reach now, and up unto this present moment that finds my fingers hitting the keyboard like a piano. I just looked up this Dogen-zenjo character and actually find that he believed that time was non-linear and that this present moment has inside of it all of time. He did not see any difference between the past, present, and future. Well which is it? Did he believe time unfolded from the present to the past or that the present is and will always be. Perhaps both? I know that Zen speaks of dualism. Boy, my head hurts. I'll be mediating for this till the end of time, pun intended.

The "present moment" has been this pesky thing for me the last few months. I can't get over it! It's the most absurd fun thing I've ever contemplated besides maybe gravity. Time! I remember reading in Carlo Rovelli's book on time earlier in the year or maybe last year about how time and heat are interconnected and without heat, there would be no ticking of time. Should I say, instead, I must be in the present heat environment? Its all so interesting to ponder. I've been listening, slowly, to this book on Thermodynamics. Its been a field of study I have neglected and I'm curious to know what I learn next.

gahhh, you are a quarky god.

SRV

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thebutterflyeffectarchives · 25 days ago

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it's all so quarky

gahhh, you are a quarky god.

SRV

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mercerislandbooks · 2 years ago

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A Conversation with Erica Bauermeister

I’ve been a fan of local author Erica Bauermeister for years, from The School of Essential Ingredients, to The Scent Keeper, to House Lessons. But when I first sank into the pages of an early copy of No Two Persons, I knew I was in for a singular reading experience. Releasing on May 2nd, No Two Persons is the story of a novel and the people it impacts. Topping my personal “Best Books of 2023″ (and a perfect Mother’s Day gift!), I’m so happy to give you all a sneak preview of this amazing book in a conversation with Erica Bauermeister herself:

Lori: Welcome Erica! It’s such a pleasure to speak with you about your fabulous new book. But before we start chatting about No Two Persons, I wondered if you have fun memories of Island Books to share, in this, our 50th anniversary year?

Erica: I remember the first time I went to Island Books. I was on a tight schedule, there to sign books, but I found myself instinctively slowing down, looking around. You know that feeling when you enter a bookstore and you just know this is the kind of place where you’ll find a book you’ll love but hadn’t known existed? It’s such a rare feeling. Is it how carefully the inventory is curated? How well the staff knows the books? The way the customers seem to have taken the place into their hearts? All I know is that Island Books is one of those rare stores.

L: I love those places and I feel very lucky that I get to work at Island Books every day. Now, onto No Two Persons! I was so taken by the structure — it's markedly different from your other books. What was your inspiration?

E: I have long been fascinated by the power and potential of interconnected short stories. Each story is its own separate world, and yet together they create something greater. In a way, most of my novels have been some variation of interconnected short stories, but you’re completely right; No Two Persons is different. The connections in No Two Persons are both gossamer and profound at the same time. Most of the characters will never meet each other, and yet they are connected in ways they will never know, as well as by the act of reading itself.

The inspiration for No Two Persons came from meeting with book clubs, actually. It fascinated me, how the various members could interpret the same story in such different ways. I loved the way the book created a safe place for people to talk about those differences of opinion, and I thought how good it would be if we as a society could remember how wonderful differences can be, and how important it is to learn from each other.

The idea sat in my mind for years, and then, not too long before the pandemic started, that idea evolved into a structure—one fictional book, nine readers. Ten changed lives. Then my job was to find the characters and figure out how the book, Theo, would affect each of them.

L: You managed it beautifully! I found myself looking for those “gossamer” connections, as you said, and discovering them was so satisfying. What was your favorite part to write? And on the flip side, what was the hardest part to write?

E: My characters usually start with a single image and then grow into fully-developed human beings. Sometimes that process is easy and organic, and sometimes it takes more time. Ironically, or perhaps not, my favorite part to write was also the hardest — William’s story. I could feel that he would add an important element to the book, but I didn’t know what it was. What would Theo mean to him, a grieving man who didn’t like fiction? Why would he read it? What would it teach him? I worked for months on his story, trying it from one angle and then another. And when I finally understood the answer, it felt both unexpected and preordained, which is just how I wanted it to feel.

L: I had to take a break after reading William’s section because I was so emotionally invested in him and his journey. Which, for a reader that usually can’t turn the pages fast enough, means it really impacted me. Is there a particular character you identify with more?

E: I agree with the authors who say all of our characters are us, and none of them are. I’ve never been an artist or a free diver. I’ve never fenced or lived in New York or been an audiobook narrator or a homeless teenager. And yet, there are emotional aspects of each of these characters — an insecurity, a love, a moment of insight — that are the parts of me. I never set out to write about those things, and I'm generally surprised when they show up in the stories—often because of what I learn myself in the process. But perhaps that is the point of writing, as well as reading? To learn what we didn’t know we needed to learn?

L: Yes. So many moments in No Two Persons articulated something deeply personal and unspoken in me until you put words to it. I love that the writing of it brought you to a similar self-recognition or self-knowledge. The ending was absolutely masterful. How hard was that? Did you have it in mind from the beginning or did it come organically as you wrote?

E: Ah, the ending. I didn’t know what it would be for the longest time — and that was terrifying. But then one morning I was lying in bed, half asleep, and the idea floated into my imagination, and I thought Yes. That’s it. And as a writer, that's when you thank whatever busy little part of your subconscious sent the image your way, forgo your coffee, and start writing.

L: I thought it was perfection — an ending that has you turning back to the beginning again. Thank you so much, Erica, it was a delight to chat with you!

To celebrate the publication of No Two Persons, Island Books will be hosting Erica Bauermeister in person, at 6:30pm on Wednesday May 17th. Please join us to hear Erica speak and get your own copy of No Two Persons. Mark your calendars now -- it’s going to be a wonderful evening and we’d love to see you!

— Lori

#island books #lori robinson #erica bauermeister #no two persons #mothers day book box #author event #event

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princeanxious · 5 years ago

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I love your dragon au, may I have some headcanons?

Uh sure! You weren’t ship specific so i’ll try and be a lil broad and touch on a few for all of em! (Theyre all interconnected in a way but often spend much of their time together apart from the others bc thats how dragons be, even if these dragons are much more social than the average dragon)

Demus- Dragon Remus x Prince(ess) Janus

- Janus is ftm trans! His parents were never supportive and actively tried to hide that from that kingdom at every turn, so, he may have secretly gotten a certain mage’s help “cursing” him with snake/dragon scales & additional certain masculine attributes so that he’d be sent away and get time to live his life without royal duties breathing down his neck. Even if he’d have to live the rest of his life as a prince locked away in a tower.

-Remus is a Dragon that’s known to be very curious, driven to hoard things that intruige him. He lives in a castle he and his brother Roman overtook years ago, and they guard it and their hoards within it well. However, one day a nearby kingdom reached out to them with an offer: if they guard and protect Prince Janus while the kingdom scrambles to figure out what to do, the dragons will recieve offerings to add to their hoards along with provided meals and the means to provide for Janus. All the kingdom requests is to keep Janus safe and happy.

-and of course, they agree to. And Remus falls head over tail inlove in a matter of days. Janus follows soon after he finds that Remus is completely unbothered and supportive of Janus’s transition.

-Janus and Roman also get along super well, tho not in a romantic sense, especially after Roman learns of Janus’s love for plays and acting skills. Roman also gifts a few intricate outfits to Janus from his Hoard of beauty and passion bc they fit the short prince quite well, and because Janus wasn’t given anything to wear from his kingdom aside from tailored princess dresses(which he doesn’t usually mind the skirts portions now w/ his new body but somedays the disphoria would spike back out if he looked in the mirror while wearing one). Roman also helped cut Janus’s hair, and both dragons would growl threateningly at any kingdom official who dared look at Janus’s attire change questioningly. If anyone asked, it was because it made Janus happy and feel safe, and that was their job, was it not?

-Janus loves his new Dragon Boyfriend and his new Dragon brother-in-law(technically?) and this result just solidifies his confidence in the decision he made to get here. Roman and Remus know about the secret behind the curse and what Janus did to get here, they think he’s super fcking clever bc of it. And, Ro and Re swear on their hoards that they’ll never spill the secret if Dee doesn’t want them to, one because the Kingdom would then have a lead on trying to Reverse the Curse, and two, because it would put the life of the mage who was asked to do it in danger, and three, because their dragons and dragons are very very good at protecting what they love.

Logince- Dragon Roman x Knight Logan

-Logan is a prince to a neighboring kingdom, and he was betrothed to Janus in an arranged marraige sort of settup. Niether of them loved the other like that, but they were best friends and Logan respected(and defended) Janus being trans. So when he finds out something happened to Janus, he’s alarmed and upset that he wasn’t informed sooner. Then he finds out Janus is being guarded by dragons, of all things! And well, he needs to make sure Janus us safe, and find out whats wrong, what happened? And no one stops him from traveling out to the castle that houses the dragons to find out. The least he can do is make sure Janus is okay and respected by the dragons, but like hell is he going to wait for Janus’s scrabling kingdom to catch up.

The first thing he’s greeted by is a tall red scaled dragon, and he’s immediately on guard. The dragon grins and drops into a defense position. They don’t ask the other questions, which Janus will give both of them shit for later, but both parties are fueled by challenge and protective goals. And they launch into battle without a word.

-Roman is immediately intruiged and excited to find how Logan matches him in a fight, actually standing a pretty solid chance despite his weight and height. Logan is a skilled swords man, the best in his kingdom, its a shame his only downfall is that Roman has twice the height on him and more than twice the muscles, figuratively and literally. But even then Logan isn’t deterred and is capable of flipping the dragon onto his back which is p hot roman cant lie, so its a p even scuffle bc Romans highly entertained w/ this mysterious attacker.

-they kinda get caught up in the scuffle for a good while till Remus comes out to investigate and Logan disengages and dashes into the forest bc he’s smart enough to know he can’t really win the fight w/ one dragon, two is a death sentence.

-roman spends the whole night heated and excited as he rambles about the gorgeous short knight who nearly kicked his ass. Logan spends the whole night rethinking his strategy and trying not to get distracted by the memory of the infuriatingly hot smirk the dragon kept aiming at him.

-they scuffle twice more, filled with witty remarks and snarky quips that progressively get more flirty before they think to speak about /why/ Logan wants into the castle b4 the truth comes out.

-both are a little sheepish when Janus finds out just who Roman’s been waxing poetic about kicking his butt in an even match and spend a good 20 minutes scolding their gay af selves. Then Logan gets updated on the whole situation, including his not so subtle transition and his new dragon bf. Logan gets the dragon’s permission to visit so long as he keeps things a secret, and he scoffs that they’d think he’d even dare to try to ruin his best friends happiness.

-niether of them really knows when their little rivalry picked back up, but Roman and Logan spend their time together bickering and taunting eachother while playing a semi-unbalanced game of cat and mouse. Logan’s not allowed into the castle w/o playing their game first, and he honestly doesn’t mind. Their interactions get way more flirty and theyre just gay disasters that take way to long to admit their developing feelings till it all kinda rushes out the moment Roman pins Logan to a wall and Logan reaponds by locking his legs around the other, daring to keep him there.

-yeah they express their feelings to eachother in many ways that day. And Logan ends up secretly(to his kingdom at least) dating Roman, and Roman gets a prince bf of his own. They still taunt and play their game of cat and mouse tho, now its just accompanied by a ton more kissing.

Moxiety- Dragon Patton x Mage Virgil

-Virgil is the mage that helped Janus transition in secret, they’d been friends for a long while and meeting in secret to plan it. Virgil’s a pretty powerful mage and talented at what he does, and Janus’s trasition was a spell he cast himself, and its irreversable(on purpose, by Janus’s request/demand)

-Virgil travels alot now adays, never staying in one public place too long in fear of Janus’s knights suspecting him and capturing him. He knew the risk and was willing to pay the price to make Janus happy. He knows he must lay low for a while, and hes not very open about being a mage in fear of that being found out.

-well, one day he finds himself in a town not so open to the idea of magic in general. Its one slip up hes not sure he regrets to heal an injured child, but he finds him self tied to a wooden stake that same day, surrounded by a village chanting about how all magic is evil.

-and then a dragon swoops over and snags him from the fire as it ignites, just barely sinking his clothing before hes up in the sky. He promply blacks out from shock.

-and when he wakes up, he finds himself tucked carefully into a hammock with a soft blanket. The room he’s in is filled with an interesting assortment of things, haphazardly placed enough to register as a hoard than any other kind of room in this tower. That and the dragon that rescued him is resting nearby, his blue scaled wing outstretched and draped over Virgil protectively is kind of a dead giveaway too.

-Virgil would learn later that Patton had been following him, lead by how his hoarding instincts weirdly worked. He’d be thankful then, that they saved his life, despite the fact that he now technically counted to Patton’s instincts as part of his hoard. Patton was adamant that he’d been trying to rid himself of the attachment before, but once Virgil was in danger his insticts had been set aside to save the poor human. He couldn’t help that touching Virgil just solidified his instincts’s claim.

-Patton lets Virgil know he’s welcomed to leave any time he wants to, that they were safely away from the dangerous village now. Virgil finds he doesn’t want to leave just yet, and they settle on becoming friends.

-Patton is friends with Roman and Remus, and often visits them when he’s feeling too lonely. He’s plenty friendly with Janus and Logan at this point, being a much softer natured dragon than the twin dragons.

-the group finds it very, very coincidental and very ironic the first time Patton brings Virgil with him to hang out.

-their love story is a bit slower, but lets just say one day months down the line, Virgil pulls Patton into a really shy kiss and Patton all but startles Virgil with the happy purr that bursts from the back of his throat. Its not to much longer after that that theyre relationship is fully established.

#find more abt the other side of this au on my nsfs blog ;)#or send asks too. either way i rly do love this au #fantasy dragon au #sanders sides #virgil sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #deceit sanders #remus sanders gif #janus sanders #luka writes #logince #demus #moxiety

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skywatch3rs · 4 years ago

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A Sunday mushing adventure

One of the first questions I got from friends about being at a folkehøgskole was what we do on a day off. Often I'll take the opportunity to sleep in; living with a chronic illness means I need to make the most of the time I can rest. However, sometimes I use a free day to go on an adventure!

*** Sunday 17.1.21 – Sledding with Mailin

Sunday is always a free day, so we get to do whatever we want! Normally I have a long lie in, but one of my friends isn’t feeling well, so I’m taking his feeding shift today, so I’m up at 9 to get dressed and head to the dog yard. It’s a balmy -4ºC today, so I’m just wearing one layer of wool underwear under my thick hiking pants and wool sweater, snow boots, hat and gloves. Now that it’s too cold to leave water in the bowls all day, we feed the dogs a soup in the morning to make sure they stay hydrated enough; equal amounts of meat and kibble, mixed in with lots of warm water and left to soak for about 15 minutes while we scoop poop. Tequila and Tibia both pick the kibble out of their soup and then tip their bowls over, and spend the rest of the morning licking at the snow where the meat water spilled over (weirdos). Ami doesn’t like her soup, but happily chews on a ‘meatsicle’– the disk of now-frozen soup that was accidentally left in her bowl overnight.

After plenty of cuddles, the three of us who fed today head back to our dorms to change out of our “dog clothes” before breakfast. I realise this is possibly only the second time ever that I’ve been to breakfast on a Sunday! It’s 2 hours later than on a weekday, at 10am, and I am normally always either already out doing something or still asleep, depending on the weekend.

Today I’m heading over to my friend Mailin’s to run dogs with her at 11, so I change back into my dog clothes, putting on an extra layer of wool. Between the wind and the fact you’re mostly either sitting as a passenger or standing quite still on the runners, it’s always colder when you’re out mushing. For Christmas I got myself a new pair of felted wool boots and overshoes to wear when I mush, because my old snow boots weren’t warm enough for my feet– I have terrible circulation– so I’m excited to try them out for the first time! Mailin is a friend of a friend, and has become an unofficial mentor to me in the past few months. She’s a seasoned musher who lives directly across the road from the school, and most weekends and some weekday afternoons I go over to train the dogs with her. All of last semester we were using either her car or ATV because there wasn’t enough snow, so today is going to be my first sled trip with her! I’m also taking with me several bottles of coca cola and some chocolate, as a thank you for the four bags of mushing gear that no longer fits her that she gave me last week. There were some real gems in there, and I know she won’t accept any money for them, so payment in sugar it is.

Geizzi in her tshirt being used as a chin-rest by Uvja

This morning Mailin wants to take out the puppies on a run; she has 5 pups who are 10 months old now, so they can run shorter distances than the adult dogs. We harness up pups Rajapää and Sorbme along with adult dogs Geizzi, Uvja, Timo, Hulda and Lelu, and Mailin show’s me how to tie a slipknot– her way of securing the sled to a post before we start. At school we use a different system involving pulling a short, thick stick out of two interconnected loops, and I have to say I prefer the slipknot method. One of the incredibly valuable things about training with Mailin has been seeing alternative ways of doing things with the dogs, as it means I have some familiarity wider variety of techniques. Mailin trains her dogs to stay quiet while we harness them up, which means things take a little longer, as every time one of the puppies starts barking, we stop what we’re doing and wait for them to stop again before we continue. Once all the dogs have their harnesses on, we start bringing them up to the line, and that’s when the full force of excited barking is allowed to start. Even after 5 months of mushing, that sound still fills me with a rush of joy and adrenaline.

I settle myself in the sled– I’ve only driven one three times before, so I assume I’ll be a passenger today, though Mailin has said I might be able to drive in the future, which is an absolute honour, considering the standard she has for her dogs, and the trust involved. She pulls the rope to undo the slipknot, and we’re off! I always love training with her dogs, but it is vastly different being a passenger in the sled than sitting in her car with her as we trained the dogs last year. The trail out of her dog yard is bumpy and windy, including a part where we both have to lean as hard as we can to the left, to try not to tip the sled into a ditch as we go up a slope; she wanted to fill it in earlier in the season, but there hasn’t been enough snow to do so. We make it through the bend, and suddenly we are out on the frozen river which marks the border between Norway and Russia. The sun came back yesterday; it rose above the horizon for the first time since November, putting an end to ‘mørketid’ (dark time), and Mailin tells me it’s traditional to make a wish when you see the sun again for the first time. I wish I’d known that yesterday, I would have wished for more snow!

The stunning view from the sled, out on the Pasvik river

Mushing is always beautiful, but today is particularly gorgeous: the dogs running smoothly out on the frozen river, with the most spectacular sunrise/set happening in front of us. I honestly can’t believe this is my life now. Then, as if I wasn’t already feeling like the luckiest person in the world, Mailin asks me if I want to mush. I’m incredulous– she trusts me with this already?! But the trail is smooth and mostly straight, so it’s great for a relative beginner like me. I jump out of the sled, hop on the runners, and off we go again. Immediately, I’m struck by how much better my new boots are than my old ones: they’re wider, so I have more surface area to grip the runners, and thinner and more flexible in the soles, so I can feel what’s under my feet better. My toes stay toasty warm the whole four hours I’m out with Mailin, which is a record.

We mush down the river, past the house of the friend who introduced us, Anne. If I wasn’t terrified of letting go of the sled, I would have taken a picture to send to her, but I settle for just telling her later. Soon, we get to the point where we need to turn the team, which is where things get difficult. I assume Mailin will want to take over again, but she lets me keep driving. We are trying to get the dogs to turn to the left and loop around so we can go back, but our leaders, Geizzi and Uvja, are not having it. Tiny superstar Geizzi pushes Uvja over to the left when Mailin gives her ‘haw’ command, but Uvja just runs over to the next parallel trail, so I have to break, stop the team, and give the command again. We repeat this several times, until eventually Geizzi drags the team around by turning to the right– not what we wanted them to do, but at least we managed to turn the dogs finally! I then add to the slight chaos by not turning the sled fast enough– Mailin’s sled is longer than the ones we use at school– so I crash us into a tussock, and flip the sled for the first time. I’m mortified, both because I have tipped Mailin onto the ice, and because I instinctively let go of the sled when it tipped, something you should never ever do; if you’re alone and you let go, the team will just run off without you. Luckily everyone is fine, and Mailin doesn’t mind: “every musher tips the sled sometimes!”. I’m glad she is nonchalant about this, because a few kilometres later, as we head back towards her dog yard, I tip the sled again into the ditch she navigated so smoothly on the way out. Nevertheless, we make it back to the dog yard in one piece, and Mailin asks me if I want to go out again. I still have 2 hours until dinner, so obviously the answer is yes!

We unhook the dogs, take the two puppies out of their harnesses, and then harness up Roavvi and Koru. The third pup, Biekhan, and adults Toivo, Vandre and Storm had dog chiropractic sessions yesterday (yes, that is a thing!), so they aren’t going to run today, and neither is Ella, who is in heat. I wolf down a square of peanut butter flapjack and half a bottle of soda, then hop back into the sled to head back out onto the river. We take the same route out of the dog yard, and Mailin shows me up again by navigating the ditch perfectly, but she does have more than a decade of experience on me, so I don’t take it too hard. One we make it out onto the river, we turn left instead of right, taking the trail up towards where the river gets narrower, hugging the Norwegian edge of the ice. Just after the 5km turning point, Mailin lets me switch places and drive again, which results in me accidentally letting the team start before I have given them the command to; not a great habit for them to get into, but it is so beautiful out on the river that neither of us can be too annoyed. Mailin takes some pictures of me grinning like a loon while driving, and then I complete the hat trick of sled tips with a third and final plunge into that damned ditch. I really need to practice not letting go when I fall, which means I have to tip the sled more to practice, so at least today was a useful lesson in that!

For some reason, Mailin insisted on hiding under the sled bag while taking a photo of me driving the team

Back at the dog yard, we unharness the puppies, and move the adults back to their houses for a brief snack break of some tasty frozen horse meat. Mailin is going to take the adults out again for another 30km or so after she has a quick lunch, to try and get them up to about 60km today. If she was racing this year she would be doing 300km over the weekend, but with so many young dogs, and no Finnmarksløpet ambitions until 2022, a short 60km is just fine for today. After giving the dogs one last cuddle, we head into the garage for Mailin to find her old mountain skis, which I’m going to borrow for the next couple of months, since skis are so expensive to buy new, and she doesn’t use hers very often. Norwegians don’t really do politeness in the same way Brits do, so I try to reel in my instinct to offer profuse thanks, and just say one short sincere thank you instead.

Skis in hand, I walk back across the road to school, change back into normal clothes, and head to dinner. We have 4 meals a day at school: breakfast, lunch at 11:30, middag (a hot dinner) at 3pm, and kveldsmat (supper) at 7:30. I got used to it last semester, but now that I’ve been back in the UK for Christmas, it feels weird to be eating the biggest meal of the day in the middle of the afternoon. Food at school can be a bit hit and miss, but today it is finbif, one of my favourites! I have kitchen duty this week, so after dinner I head into the kitchen to help with the dishes, which takes me right back to working as a waitress. Finally I have a couple of hours of down time before I need to feed the dogs in the evening, so I re-shave my undercut, shower, call my grandma, and chill out with a book for a bit. Then it’s back to the dog yard, where we feed with just meat in the evening. It snows a little bit, which is sorely needed, as it’s been a bad winter so far. I go back to my dorm, change, head to dinner, do my kitchen duty, and collapse into bed to watch the US men’s nationals figure skating with a couple of friends before I head to sleep, ready for my first normal school day back after Christmas tomorrow!

#fhsliv #folkehøgskole #folk high school #finnmark #norway #dog sledding #mushing #photography #pasvik folkehøgskole #pasvik fhs

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lazyyogi · 5 years ago

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Why is your blog called the 'Lazy Yogi'? Are you lazy?

What the name “Lazy Yogi” means to me has evolved over the years.

When I first started this blog, I was 22 years old and still in college. My father had died the year before I went to college and I was wondering what it all meant–Life, the Universe, and Everything. This eventually led me to the practice of meditation and the spiritual path.

At that time, I was still getting the lay of the land. I would see other spiritual people traveling to exotic places all over the world in order to have unique experiences. I saw people going on extended retreats and getting yoga certifications. And I saw people going to the Amazon to take ayahuasca or shrooming in the desert.

As I started to find my own path and practice, I realized that all of that wasn’t strictly necessary. It can be fun and it can be what we need at that time but really all you need is a little space and a little time to mediate. You need receptivity but also discipline. You need to be able to relax and smile but also open your heart and be present.

And so I felt I was a lazy yogi.

I graduated college in 2011 and then I was living at home without any prospects for career or direction in life. All my friends had moved on to high-powered jobs living in New York City. My girlfriend at that time had also broken up with me and she too was getting her life started in NYC. I felt lonely, confused, and aimless.

But my spiritual practice kept me oriented. At this time, I was reflecting a lot on society and my place in it. I realized how society only really “sees” you if you add some sort of value to it. In the US, that value is mostly defined as productivity. Yet here I was, leeching off my family and just being a lazy ass.

This was actually one of the most valuable periods of my life. A quote by Gangaji sums it up well, “To be truly happy you must recognize who you are with nothing.”

At that time, I was doing an unpaid internship in the movie industry, meditating an hour a day, and veritably consuming every book on spirituality that I could find. My suffering was immense but it was the perfect amount of suffering. It was strong enough to push me inward and yet not so strong that I gave into despair and hopelessness.

Between the books The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, The Places That Scare You by Pema Chodron, and some other goodies, as well as the grace and guidance of my guru and my meditation practice, I eventually found a droplet of peace amidst all that confusion.

Then the name the “Lazy Yogi” took on a more ironic meaning. We are not here because we need to be productive–although productivity in society is one particularly reliable way to survive. Put simply, we are here because the Earth allowed it–or more poetically, because the Earth wanted us here.

“When we walk like we are rushing, we print anxiety and sorrow on the earth. We have to walk in a way that we only print peace and serenity on the earth. Be aware of the contact between your feet and the earth. Walk as if you are kissing the earth with your feet.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

This was the new meaning of laziness to me. I didn’t need a job to know myself, I didn’t need a social scene in order to find a sense of interconnectivity, and I didn’t need a future or a past to orient my present. Just like someone lazing about on the beach. That was my way of contributing, by not printing my own fear and confusion onto the Earth around me.

As some of you might know, there came a point in which I reconsidered my life and the direction I wanted to take. I then decided to go back to school to become a doctor. It’s funny to write about that now because I will be graduating medical school this coming May. It has been a long journey! I made that decision 7 years ago. And this journey is really only just beginning.

Throughout the hardships and insecurities of premedical education and then medical education, the “Lazy Yogi” took on another meaning. I was busy. Busier than I had ever been at any point in my life. And as a result, I learned my limits and how to gently–or sometimes not so gently–grow beyond those limits.

At the same time, I continued my meditation practice and my spiritual way. The “Lazy” took on an inner meaning. That no matter how busy we might be outwardly in the world, it is important–essential, even–to remain inwardly at ease. I don’t always manage this but I do my best. For example, I have a nine hour board exam this Thursday. I have been waiting to hear back about interviews for residencies, which will decide where I live for the next 5 years. And I’ve been struggling a bit in my personal life as well.

So while that inner “Lazy” might not feel so relaxed right now, I know not to give up and leave it behind. I know “this too shall pass” and I just do what I can.

I wish I could write on this blog more, that I had more time and energy and inspiration for it. I know that so long as Tumblr exists, I will keep doing so as often as I can. I really love sharing meditation and spirituality with everyone, I love the people I get to meet and speak to on here, and the new influences I come across along the way. We’ll see how the future plays out! But somewhere, I’ll always be trying to share this stuff because I can’t think of anything more important or relevant to the human condition.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk. :P

Namaste

#me

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current-mcr-news · 5 years ago

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Carry The Fire Podcast with Gerard Way: Full Transcription

Welcome to Carry The Fire, a podcast where we explore the big questions of life through the lens of the good, the true, and the beautiful. I’m your host, Dustin Kensrue, and my hope is that through these conversations with people of diverse and divergent backgrounds and beliefs, we can glimpse the world anew through each other's unique perspectives.

Gerard: Fiction is something to a degree that you'll hide behind in a way, and it allows you to expose yourself… I always saw the characters that I've played as some aspect of myself turned up to 12... Overall, I considered The Black Parade to be a death fantasy… death and rock and roll were kind of intertwined… Every time you get onstage you have to be prepared to die.

Dustin: Hey everybody. It is episode five of Carry The Fire podcast. Today we are joined by Gerard Way who is the singer of the band My Chemical Romance as well as also having released some killer music on his own. He has spent the last few years though, spending most of his time writing comics, including the very popular Umbrella Academy comics which have recently been adapted into a great show on Netflix. In our conversation, we talk about creating worlds and inhabiting characters, we talk about the beauty and the difficulty of creative collaboration, the complexity of trying to incorporate time-travel into a story, and we also get into Gerard’s spirituality a bit, and I want to give a brief heads up for some of you regarding that.

Gerard is going to talk a bit about magick and witchcraft. While I’m no expert on either, I do know enough to know that these words in this context probably don’t mean what most of you think they do. Some of you might not bat an eye hearing them but a lot of you probably came up inside a worldview where someone who was interested in these things was considered very evil. Gerard is very far from that. If I can try to provide a new framework for you it would be this: Generally, modern practices of magick and witchcraft, while being diverse in form, incorporate various insights and rituals from animistic pagan and folk religion, as well as incorporating some psychological intuitions from different fields and traditions. Practitioners generally tend to be very concerned with the earth and our connection with it. While this is not my spiritual tradition or practice, I recognize that we all have things to learn from each other. I think especially the ideas in these traditions about finding our place within the natural world are a helpful corrective to a lot of the western traditions’ tendency to want to dominate over nature, rather than seeing ourselves as a part of an interconnected web of being. I had no idea we’d be talking about any of this going into this conversation, but in the spirit of this podcast, I was so excited to hear from another unique perspective on the good, the true, and the beautiful, and I hope you will be too. Let’s get into it.

Dustin: Thank you so much for doing this.

Gerard: No problem.

D: It's super good to see you.

G: You too!

D: I'm trying to think of the last time we even saw each other and I- it was probably on tour.

G: Was it on the arena tour?

D: That's what I'm thinking.

G: It's been a long time.

D: And we were playing a bunch of World of Warcraft.

G: Yeah! That's my strongest memory. I have a lot of great memories of you guys, obviously, but the one that sticks out in my head the most is when we're all playing Warcraft in this big room and you had to go onstage, and you literally had your rig hooked up, you had your in-ears, they weren't in yet, but you were wired up, and I believe you even had a guitar, and you were still playing. You went literally from the keyboard from the computer right on stage.

D: Dude, I got way too addicted to that game. It's your guys' fault.

G: It was our fault, yeah!

D: Oh dude, it was so fun. It was probably like, what? Eight or nine of us playing in a room.

G: Yeah!

D: I don't know if it was the tour after that or two, and I had started just dreaming in Warcraft, and I went onstage one day and I was onstage and I had this moment where I was like, "I'm done! I can't," because I had tried to wean a little bit and it wasn't working, so I was like, "I gotta go cold turkey."

G: Yeah.

D: And I got offstage and I gave someone the Warcraft and I said, "Don't give this back to me. I'm done. I deleted it." Yeah. Which is funny because I seriously hadn't played video games since then until I just bought my kids a Switch.

G: Okay!

D: And they're playing Zelda.

G: Zelda, yeah.

D: And I decided to treat myself.

G: Nice, nice.

D: That's why I got a Switch for the road because Zelda's the best.

G: Yeah, I play Zelda with my daughter and it's so big though. We're having a really hard time getting a handle on the game because it's so vast.

D: Yeah, it is crazy.

G: I had to quit Warcraft too. I had to go cold turkey because it was still in my life when I wanted to write The Umbrella Academy.

D: Oh.

G: And I actually had this- I was at the crossroads and I had this moment where I was like, "I can either play Warcraft or I could write this comic."

D: It's a time sink.

G: Totally.

D: That game especially.

G: Yeah.

D: The social aspect, it just ends up being enormous.

G: Yeah yeah, so that was it. I quit and never looked back.

D: So, I was gonna ask you, prompted you earlier to think about it. What was something that gave you a feeling of wonder as a kid?

G: Okay so, I have a couple really obvious-

D: Or multiple things.

G: Multiple things, yeah, I have a couple real obvious answers.

D: That's alright.

G: And I know this is such an obvious one but Star Wars was really big. It just was and I know it was for millions of people. Once I saw that, it was like the first movie my parents ever took me to see and I was really young, but the thing back then was they were running these in theaters for like three years.

D: Oh really? I don't think I realized that.

G: Yeah. So Star Wars had come out and then they just kept running it until The Empire came out. I must've been two or something and they brought me to the theater.

D: Oh wow! I think I remember, I think my first memory of going to a movie was seeing- Was Jedi '84?

G: '83, yeah. I think it was '83.

D: So I remember going to see that, standing in line with my dad.

G: Me too!

D: That's the first, I don't know, there's just those moments where you have those- I remember listening to certain records in my dad's car.

G: Yeah.

D: And he'd turn it up loud.

G: Yep. That's one of my favorite memories of my dad is him picking me up from school early and then taking me to go see Jedi.

D: Oh that's cool.

G: Yeah, we waited in big lines that wrapped around. Even back then, there were a couple people ordering pizza. That's one of my favorite memories of being with my dad.

D: That's super cool. What about Star Wars specifically created that wonder? Was it the world?

G: The world, I think. It was the world, the scope, just this world you wanted to live in, that you wish existed and there was only three movies back then, so your brain would kinda fill in the gaps like, "What is it like? What are their supermarkets like?" And your brain would kinda- and later, that would come into play when I would RPGs, which is another thing I'll bring up in a minute. There was a time where I was in college, or right before college, where we were playing a Star Wars RPG that I was running, and it's just such a rich world.

D: Like a tabletop one?

G: Tabletop, yeah. And it was a really great game and it was super epic because the one thing about it was everybody already had a sense of that world in their head.

D: Yeah, you don't have to build that already.

G: Yeah, you didn't have to build.

D: You just add onto it.

G: Yeah yeah, so they all knew the world so when you would describe something, everybody had a vivid picture in their head, and then anything you hadn't seen before, you would just describe, but people had a point of reference so they would know.

D: That's pretty cool.

G: But yeah, Star Wars was like the first one and I was just obsessed with that for my whole childhood, playing with the action figures with Mikey, and we had our own sarlacc pit which was a dirt pit, and stuff like that. And then the other thing that was really important to me were tabletop RPGs. So, I was in the 3rd grade at a new school, but I still hung out with my best friend who was still at the old school. Anyway, basically he had an older brother- his friend had an older brother in college and he was way into D&D and he would run D&D for us, and we're all 3rd graders. That was a major moment for me.

D: That's pretty cool.

G: Yeah, it was. And to have a college-aged Dungeon Master who knew the game inside out was a really amazing way to play.

D: That's pretty cool.

G: Yeah. And that really opened up a big world for me. So then I would go on to- so I never stopped playing since the 3rd grade and then I took a try at being a Dungeon Master, and even just from playing and Dungeon Mastering, I learned how to tell stories, and I was really into that. You'd learn things even about leadership if you go to become the party leader, or if you're the DM, you learn how to keep people engaged. You learn how to keep momentum, things moving.

D: That's interesting. I feel like that's something that maybe a lot of storytellers are not paying as much attention to as they used to. There's the book I brought you, it's called Invisible Ink.

G: Oh, cool!

D: This guy, Brian McDonald, who's kind of like a story guru. He consults at Pixar all the time, teaches screenwriting, he's very cool. But he grew up watching a bunch of the classic movie directors coming up in the '60s and '70s or whatever, and they all had this vision of what stories were and really paid attention to how- they thought about how the audience would react, imagined them in the theater, or whatever. And then, something he was talking about is he just feels it's dropped off, that interplay of trying to connect and let that influence how you're actually creating the story.

G: Yeah. I'm excited to read that. I'm a big fan of structure and I'm a big fan of outlines.

D: Okay.

G: Yeah.

D: You'll like this.

G: Yeah! Good! I'm a big fan of those things because the way I see it, if you know your whole story, and I always feel like you don't need to know all the details, you don't need to know all of it, but you should know kind of- you should have some kind of outline or a structure, and then you get to have fun because you do know the beats you need to hit, but all the spaces in between, you get to fill that in.

D: I think it's rare that anyone doesn't do that and does it well. Stephen King's maybe the only one that I can think of that just doesn't write that way, and somehow he just has internalized it or something, and it ends up working itself out.

G: Yeah.

D: That's cool, man. So would you say those kinds of things, these imaginary worlds, these built worlds, are the things that still bring you the most wonder and joy in a sense?

G: Yeah! And it's something that I wanted to do when I grew up. I wanted to build my own worlds that people could share and be a part of, and that was something I did all throughout the band was just kinda- and building all these different worlds and the people that inhabit those worlds and the details down to the stickers on the Trans Am for Danger Days, those were all planned out. So my favorite thing to do is world building. And I've done it for projects that haven't come to fruition as well. Like I was working on this sci-fi TV show for a while and I just went deep, and I just came up with- with my friend Jon Rivera, we just came up with this whole world. So world building is something I'm a big fan of. And it's something I've noticed people talk about when they're talking about either my work with Umbrella Academy or My Chemical Romance, is the world building aspect, so. World building as a job title isn't a job, but I think it's- that element is, I feel like, one of my strengths.

D: Yeah. As far as the world building, I feel like you've not only built those worlds, but with MCR, you lead in inhabiting them in a way.

G: Yeah.

D: It's fun to watch. It's scary for me a little bit, watching it. Is it scary for you or is it safe for you? To be in that character.

G: That's a good question. I think there's a bit of safety that comes with being a character, and obviously, I was looking up to my heroes when I was constructing that. I was looking at David Bowie, especially around Black Parade, that's when I was like, "I'm gonna be a character." Early Black Parade stuff was like, I had written this line out that basically said, "What if Death had a rock band?" It obviously changed from that and we all became Death in a way, the whole band, but there was a safety with inhabiting a character, and the character I was during Black Parade was fun because I think in an entertaining way or a positive way, there was this level of disdain that you would have for you audience as playing as The Black Parade. But it was, to me, a healthy kind, because you were just playing really. And I thought that was a fun aspect of that character. But then there's a lot of you in the character and it's kind of- I always saw the characters that I've played as some aspect of myself turned up to 12. It's interesting when I would meet people afterwards and stuff, they would be like, "I didn't think you were gonna be so normal when I met you," just because the way I would act onstage. And I met a lot of kids who were like, "I thought you were gonna be such a jerk."

D: That's funny.

G: Because I would play one, you know. And it was just part of the drama for me.

D: Yeah. That's cool. Have you read any Ursula K. Le Guin?

G: I love her! I just reread Earthsea, the first one.

D: I haven't read it. I've heard it's amazing.

G: Yeah, it is.

D: I just got into- I read The Left Hand Of Darkness.

G: Oh, I've not finished that, but I loved what I've read.

D: It is a very slow book, in a sense. It's not exciting, in a sense, but it's got this patient movement and by the end, I was just floored by it. It was fantastic.

G: I have to finish that one. I love her and her work, especially Left Hand Of Darkness, it does have a patient movement, I think that's the best way to describe it. And I've also loved the way that she talks about storytelling in writing, and one thing I've read from her recently that really stuck with me, this is a quote of hers, and I'm paraphrasing it, I don't know if I'm getting this exact, but she basically said, "Not every story needs to have a message. It could just be the act of telling a story. You don't have to lecture your readership or your audience, or hit them over the head with this big message. It doesn't have to have one."

D: Which is interesting because I feel like she is a very message orientated writer in a certain way, but maybe that's coming in in a very natural sense.

G: Yeah.

D: [C.S.] Lewis talked about that too, where he was like, "The last thing you wanna do is write this thing that's just trying to tell something." He's like, "Whatever truth that you actually believe, those things are coming out if you just write."

G: If you just write, I agree with that.

D: Like Narnia, apparently, started from- he had a picture in his head of a faun in a snowstorm holding a parcel with an umbrella. That's the whole world built out of that, and he loved that image, and his love for it blossomed into something.

G: Yeah! That's awesome!

D: It's super cool. So, the beginning, in the intro of Left Hand Of Darkness, Le Guin says, "I am an artist, and therefore a liar. Distrust everything I say. I am telling the truth. The only truth I can understand or express is, logically defined, a lie. Psychologically defined, a symbol. Aesthetically defined, a metaphor." So even when you're making music, you were talking about you're making these fictions, you're lying as it were. I was watching something the other day, you said something like, "Sometimes fiction is closer to fact," or something in that range. Is that accurate of how you feel creating, that sometimes by- you're getting at a deeper truth by telling a fiction?

G: Yeah yeah. That could happen, and I think it's kinda magical when it does happen. Black Parade especially is filled with a lot of metaphors and maybe the fiction is something to a degree that you'll hide behind in a way, and it allows you to expose yourself. Because exposing yourself is really hard and one of the- just allowing yourself to be vulnerable is really hard and one of the things that Rob Cavallo said to me when he was producing Black Parade was, "Making a record, a great record, is you're almost pulling open your insides and you're pulling all your guts out," and things like that, and it's a brutal process because of that, but I think I did that on that record a lot. There's a lot of self loathing and there's the Catholic guilt I grew up with appears in stuff like Mama and House of Wolves, how you think you're destined for Hell and things like that, but it's cool, yeah. Fiction gives you a way to express these things and make yourself vulnerable and open yourself up and that's the way I like to use it, and then sometimes, there's stuff that's just straight fiction or fantasy. Overall, I considered Black Parade to be a death fantasy. A rock and roll death fantasy because I thought death and rock and roll were kind of intertwined in a way, because I think Mick Jagger had said once, "Every time you get onstage you have to be prepared to die."

D: That's amazing.

G: Yeah! So, it was this rock and roll death fantasy, Black Parade.

D: That's cool. I have the worst memory. So, I was preparing for this and somebody was like, "Hey, ask Gerard if he really wrote the treatment for the Image Of The Invisible video," and I was like, "Holy shit!" I totally forgot that-

G: Oh my god!

D: That you did that.

G: Oh my god! That was so fun too! I totally forgot! I gotta rewatch that.

D: What's funny too is I watching your videos and I was like, "This is so cool, these characters. We've never really done anything like that. I guess Image Of The Invisible is kinda like that," but didn't even make the connection, but it's totally that way because you were building that world!

G: That was so much fun.

D: And I got to live in it and it was cool.

G: That's cool. Yeah, I was really honored that you asked me to conceptualize a video for you guys.

D: It was fun. I don't think we've ever had another one where it was such- well, definitely not such a developed story.

G: Right. Didn't we do something too where we had lights on their helmets?

D: Yeah.

G: Their eyes were supposed to be lights or something?

D: Yeah, maybe it was like a single eye was a red laser-y light.

G: Yeah. That was cool. I'm gonna rewatch that when we're done.

D: So you grew up with the Catholic guilt, you said. Did you ever feel like you inhabited that world, or was it something being kind of thrust on you that you didn't- I mean, it's hard as a kid.

G: Right.

D: You don't even know, but I'm curious about that and then where you'd feel like your kind of big frame worldview is now on like, "What are we all doing on this rock?"

G: Right, right. My family, my parents, they weren't super religious. I come from this Italian Catholic background though so it was the kind of thing, my grandmother would go to church sometimes, but never would push us to really go. But for Christmas or something, my mom would go with her. But I think they thought, my parents thought, "This is the right thing to do. We should raise our child with believing in God and raise them Catholic because we're good. Even though we're not always there, we're good Catholics." So, they kind of put me on that path and I think the first thing I learned from being Catholic, or just religion in general, maybe it's somewhat at times specific to Catholicism, is this fear. And this fear of Hell, that's they really instilled in us. I think I was in the 1st grade or something, really young, and there was this thing that would happen where they would talk about death and Hell and all that stuff, and there was this period which, because of these classes, these after school classes, I would have these bouts of just crying. I guess I was coming to terms with the fact that my parents wouldn't be there forever or I would lose them and they would die. But then the additional fear of, "Well, if they behave bad, they'll go to Hell, and I'll go to Hell too," and so, there was this period where it was really upsetting for me, and I channeled that. I tapped into that stuff on a couple records, and on Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge, I borrowed a lot of Catholic imagery, and that second video for Helena being in a church, and things like that. So I kinda started- and in some of our merch designs too. I remember we had one with a cathedral and a rosary and all this stuff, and then that would come to a head in the song Mama on Black Parade but, yeah, my journey in terms of spirituality and where I came with that. Obviously, at some point, I was confirmed in the 5th grade, so I did that. But then after that, my parents didn't have any more requirements out of me, because it was all about baptism, communion, and confirmation. And if you did those three things, you were good, then you could go as you wanted. So they never pushed me to go. And then, over the years, obviously I got into punk rock and I didn't believe in God for the longest time, and then I just started to really need spirituality in my life as I got older. And I'm more of the sense where I believe in there being some- I don't know if it's a God, but I do believe there's something.

D: Something, yeah.

G: Yeah. There's something out there, there's some kind of reason. I also believe we come from- because we do, we come from star stuff.

D: Yeah.

G: We come from the universe. We're birthed from the universe. I'm a believer in the fact that the universe is chaos and born out of chaos and it's uncontrollable, and there's kind of no rhyme or reason to anything, and tragedies and accidents and bad things happen and good things happen, and it's really just chaos being this constant true thing in the universe, and I came to those discoveries through my study of magick, occultism, and things like that, which I was inspired to do by my friend Grant Morrison. He's kind of like a big brother to me, mentor, he's really supportive and he's very into magick. And so I became interested and he's given me some lessons, and I actually wanted to do a podcast one day with him where I literally just sit down with him and have him talk about magick, because the way he describes it is, you would almost need it to be recorded to fully explore all the theories and things like that. So, I started to need magick, high magick, chaos magick, and eventually witchcraft, and witchcraft is something I felt more comfortable with because I always felt like, when I was reading about chaos magick, it felt like it was about making the universe bend to your will, whereas I was looking for something more that you were in service to the universe.

D: Interesting.

G: I think I got this from reading Crowley's book on magick, but basically, I don't know exactly what he said, but basically reality is your perspective. And that was kinda one of the key points of magick, your brain builds your reality.

D: Yeah.

G: And I thought that was a really great take away from all that. So, yeah, I've been interested in spirituality and things like that and studying shamanism, and all that stuff. We, with our daughter, we didn't raise her with religion, but we, Lindsey, my wife, is really spiritual too. Not like a practicing witch or anything, but she's just naturally adept at those kind of things. She's really in tune with nature, she knows a ton about herbology, a lot of the founding cornerstones of witchcraft is just kinda part of her life. And so, we do raise Bandit with- Lindsey teaches her all about herbs and plants and we have a witch's garden, and communicating with nature and trees and animals and things like that. So we're teaching our daughter that there is a kind of magick to life and magick does exist. It's not Harry Potter magic, but you know.

D: A lot of that seems like it's about an embodiment, a connectedness to everything, to other people.

G: Yeah, connectedness, for sure, yeah. And just teaching her that she's connected to the universe. And if she grows up and wants a different kind of religion, that's great too, and I know I explored those. I was looking for a religion in art school, because I had a class where we had to study all the religions, or most of them. And I kept going from each one and I was like, "I like bits of this one, but I don't like that." I couldn't find one that I landed on until I got later in life into more spiritual things like magick and witchcraft.

D: Cool. So with something like witchcraft, which for a lot of people are gonna hear it and have not at all the idea that you're talking about I think, so something like the idea of goodness in that, where does that derive from? Is that coming from the inter-connectedness? It seems like there's a moral view to it rather than morality being a decree maybe. It's something that arises out of those connections?

G: Right right, yeah! I think the positivity in it, to me, and here's the thing. I don't consider myself a practicing witch or anything like that, I just read a ton of this stuff. And that's one of the things they kinda warn you about with magick and everything, you could read all the books you want and some people spend their whole life reading books and never practice, but the thing they tell you to do is practice. And I think yeah, the goodness comes from being in service to the earth. Being connected to that and also, what I've learned about witchcraft, or at least the kind of witchcraft that I like, is it's very gray. It's not black magick, it's not totally white magick, it's just understanding that the universe and all things in it are very gray, there's no black and white to everything. And I've really liked that the most, because I get older- when I was younger, I was very black and white about a lot of things. Especially in the earlier days of My Chemical Romance, everything was really military and rigid, and black and white, and this is right and this is wrong. You kind of get older and you start to realize, "No, things aren't that simple. Not everybody's all good or all bad. There's a grayness there."

D: Which, I think, I have a song of the latest Thrice record called The Grey and it's dealing with that idea of deconstructing the black and the white, and I think the biggest danger there is the idea that even if there was straight black, straight white, you are betting a lot on your ability to discern it at any given moment.

G: You are.

D: And then if you are actually holding to it, and you're basically betting on your ability to discern this thing and now it's of the most ultimate consequence and you filter out everything that doesn't fit into that, which is basically a bunch of yourself and a bunch of everyone around you.

G: Yeah, exactly, yeah.

[ad break]

D: So I have a couple questions I’ll pepper in here from some of the Patrons. James Corvit said, “What is the purest form of goodness you’ve experienced as a human being, and how do you explain it?”

G: Purest form of goodness.

D: I don’t know, it’s deep.

G: Yeah.

D: I don’t know if that’s from someone or just internally.

G: The purest form of goodness. It’s a tough question but it’s a great question. I think the purest form of goodness is forgiveness. Or that would be something I would say is a very strong form of goodness. Even when you see people that the most terrible things happen to them, like a serial killer murders their loved one and then some of these people, not all of them, and I don’t blame the ones that don’t find forgiveness, but some of them find forgiveness and are able to forgive people for the most atrocious things, and so that feels like a really powerful form of goodness.

D: Yeah, I feel like in the middle of me deconstructing a lot of that stuff, something I was like- the idea of grace and forgiveness is something that goes deep there and I’m not willing to let go of that. Over the centuries, there’s been countless efforts to define beauty. Aristotle defines beauty as having “order, symmetry, and definiteness.”

G: Hm.

D: But it’s always struck me as a fairly anemic version of beauty. And then I saw on the cover of the My Chem single Sing, there’s a question on there that says, “Would you destroy something perfect in order to make it beautiful?”

G: Right.

D: This makes me think that you probably also take issue with that definition a bit. I wanted to ask, is there something about brokenness that’s near the heart of beauty for you?

G: Absolutely, yeah. And that, I was trying to remember that phrase a couple months ago too, that was on the cover saying, yeah, “Would you destroy something perfect to make it beautiful?” And yeah, I think beauty is way more complex than symmetry and I think there is a brokenness to beauty. I think, you look at a lot of musicians, you could arguably say from a certain perspective, if you subscribe to symmetry and things like that, a lot of musicians or front-people, men and women in bands, some of them you could say they’re not traditionally beautiful, or not what you would think is beautiful, but something about their vulnerability or their confidence and things like that, make them beautiful. And that’s in any case, even non-musicians. Like people that just go to work in the world and have normal jobs, there is something about beauty that is much deeper than just what you see visually.

D: One of the Patrons was saying that, “My Chem’s music reinforced to me and my friends that being an outcast was okay.” Was that something that you wanted people to feel? What were things growing up that made you feel like it was okay to be an outcast or a misfit?

G: I think by the time I was definitely not in elementary school- well, I didn’t have to struggle with being an outcast in elementary school. I actually went to a really cool school, it was just a normal public school, but the one thing I thought looking back that was very interesting about those years is we all got along, we were all friends, even the weirdest kids, and a lot of kids would just have these parties back then and everyone was invited. And then my first real experience with being an outsider was going to middle school, and then so, you aren’t all friends anymore, and there’s all divisions and cliques and things like that, and then I found myself to be one of these outcasts, one of these weird kids that listened to heavy metal and wore flannels. There were only a handful of us in the school that were like that. But it wasn’t until high school where I fully embraced being an outcast. The first year, freshman year was really hard because I was really an outcast and I didn’t even know where to sit at the lunch tables, because I didn’t fit in with any of these groups. And it turns out I ended up sitting with a table of metalheads because they saw me sitting by myself and they were like, “Why don’t you sit with us?” And that’s where I would learn about certain bands that they were into, like Murphy’s Law and the kind of things they were listening to back then. But it was important for me to have something that spoke to outsiders with My Chemical Romance because when I was that age, there wasn’t anything that really spoke to me like that. Or there wasn’t something so specific to being an outcast. There was lots of stuff that if you were an outcast you listened to like The Cure or The Smiths, so of course, I found all those bands. But there was nothing specifically geared to somebody that feels invisible or is an outcast or rejected and things like that, so when we started My Chem, it felt very much like we were channeling the energy of being an outcast onto whoever listened to us. And in the early days, it wasn’t a lot of kids. I mean, there weren't any kids that really listened to us. It was kinda older punk rockers, it was very interesting in the beginning. And of those older punk rockers, a lot of them were actually outcasts as well.

D: Yeah.

G: Within a scene so. And maybe they weren’t even full-on punk rockers, they were just a guy with a leather jacket at a bar who just saw something in us.

D: Yeah. That’s cool. The Patron Jonathan Clark is asking, “Do you have any rituals or practices that you do to find your center, wait for yes, get connected, see the good, the true, the beautiful in others, or let go a bit?” Basically he’s kinda asking if you have any meditative, mindfulness, something to practice.

G: Right right. I really enjoy T.M., Transcendental Meditation. Actually, I’m in an interesting spot with this though.

D: That’s where you’re chanting.

G: A mantra, yeah. You have a mantra and you kind of just repeat it in your head. It helps you, basically when you’re doing it, it releases negative energy and tension and things like that, and it’s very good. But sometimes, at least in my experience, and this is why I’ve kinda paused my practice at the moment, sometimes it could release trauma and things like that, and sometimes you end up reliving that and it makes it- and granted, your body is letting go of it, but sometimes it’s hard and I found when it would get its most intense, I would catastrophize things in my head and be- so I would be focusing on the mantra, but then things would happen like I would be thinking about the worst things that could happen to my family or my loved one, or something bad happening to them or getting hurt.

D: Is that something that happens to you? Do you tend to catastrophize in general?

G: Sometimes. I do tend to catastrophize sometimes, and it’s something I work on in therapy. I’m a big believer in talk therapy and, I don’t try to push medication on anybody, but I always just share my experience, and that it’s helped me.

D: Yeah.

G: I was somebody who was extremely imbalanced all through the years of My Chemical Romance, and go through these extreme highs and crushing lows where I wouldn’t get out of bed for like three months, but then I would be in a manic phase, and I would be up until 4am working on zines all of the sudden, and I would say to Lindsey, “I don’t need to sleep. Why do people sleep? I don’t get it.” So there was a lot of that, and then Lindsey found me a therapist and we did a lot of really hard work and I faced myself a lot, I looked inward. And at the same time, before we were able- before we explored and did the work, we stabilized my brain chemistry. That was the key. Once we were able to stabilize my brain chemistry-

D: You were able to actually…

G: Do the work, yeah. So, I am a big believer in T.M., it’s just that sometimes I struggle with it, but I know all I have to do is check in with the T.M. center and explain what I’m going through, and actually my therapist had found me this woman who’s one of the heads of, I’m not sure if it’s the David Lynch Foundation or something else, she actually said, “You should come in, I’ll talk to you, I’ll walk you through the trauma stuff and all the hard stuff.” But I’m a big believer in it because when it was cooking, and there were two months this year where it was totally changing my life until some of the negative came out. It was, I was a more productive, more focused, calmer, more engaged, more present. I’m a believer in it and a big believer in therapy and just having somebody to talk to.

D: Yeah. That’s awesome. On the drive up, I was thinking about Umbrella Academy and I really love it in general. I remember getting the comic when it came out. The show turned out so great. Are you really happy with it?

G: Yeah yeah! I’m totally happy. At the end of the day, it was somebody else’s vision and I was able to let go of that. I think I needed to. When the process first started in making it a TV show.

D: That’s gotta be hard.

G: It’s hard.

D: That’s your baby.

G: Yeah yeah! But I was really upfront when I was talking. I went in to meet with UCP and Dawn and the people there. I was with Dark Horse and they said, “What is your goal?” And I said, “My goal is to make great comics because I already went through a whole big thing with Universal trying to make this a movie and it just drained me.”

D: Oh okay.

G: And it was full of really difficult things, it took up a lot of my time, and disappointments, and I really turned my focus back to comics because I was like, that’s where you’re in charge. Nobody can- you have an editor, obviously, if you have a great editor, you’re doing great work together and you’re making changes, but it doesn’t feel like something creative is being ruled by committee, and that’s what it feels like in Hollywood. I was really upfront with Dawn and I said, “I want to make great comics so you guys have good material to make a good show.” I ended up being more involved than that. The extent of my involvement is giving notes, especially about things like wardrobe, costumes, the look and feel of the world, the fact that it’s kind of an alternate reality, and I give notes on scripts and I give notes on edits and things like that, so I am involved for sure. But I was able to realize this is somebody else’s baby and I’m happy with the results for sure. My whole thing is the proof is in the fact that everybody loves it.

D: I like Klaus a lot and I can’t remember, because I read the comics so long ago, how true to the book that character is.

G: Right.

D: Do you feel like it’s capturing what you were trying to get out with it? G: It is capturing, yeah. It’s capturing, to me, what Robert who plays Klaus, he’s capturing this kind of sadness and tragedy to the character. Also obviously, the humor. In the comic, Klaus is a little bit more of what I call a dry goth. He’s very nihilistic in some ways.

D: Not quite as whimsical, maybe.

G: Yeah, not quite as whimsical as what Robert ended up doing. But the way Robert approached the character really ended up working and he adds a lot of humanity to the character, that maybe there’s not so much of it, or you don’t see it very often in the comic with Klaus. Klaus just does bad things and makes bad decisions and obviously, a lot of that is coming from a place of trauma that he experienced as a child, and in the show, it’s cool because the drug use is there to help him quiet the voices in his head. They explored that a lot deeper and I thought that that was really cool.

D: Is that less of a focus in the comic?

G: A little bit. I never really explored the fact that he’s constantly seeing and hearing and talking to ghosts, and so these drugs kind of quiet his mind. I’d never explored that really deeply.

D: Which is cool because you, it’s another evidence of you’re building a world and someone else was living in it, and then they were like, “Well yeah.”

G: Yeah!

D: “Of course he’s like that,” and you’re like, “Well dang.”

G: Yeah! That’s a cool thing. They’re able to point at things you weren’t seeing because sometimes when I’m doing stuff like creating a world like Umbrella Academy, a lot of it is running off the subconscious. A lot of it is, some things you don’t realize you’re putting in there. And when they look at making a TV show or a movie, they really kinda deconstruct it and look at it and say, “Well, this makes sense because of this.”

D: Some of the beauty with the comic is that the concise kind of form makes it to where you don’t always have to trace down all of these rabbit trails, but when you're trying to blow it up into something else, you’ve gotta figure out how to make sense of it all.

G: Mhm. And to bring it back to the question of a sense of wonder. That was the other thing I thought about this morning when you asked me the question was, “what do I get a sense of wonder from,” and comics were a big one. Because to me- and then I would later reinforce these feelings when I started making them and writing them. You could do anything in them and that’s really what’s beautiful about them. I also love the mechanics of them, because there’s definitely things you could do in comics that you can’t do in film and TV and I love that. So I’ve really learned to embrace the medium when I’m writing them. I think I’m writing comics that are definitely comics, and they’re not just a TV show playing out in a comic.

D: Yeah. How much do you draw your own stuff just to get your ideas going? Or is it more conceptual?

G: Quite a bit. No, I do- well especially for something like, less so on Doom Patrol but Umbrella Academy, Gabriel Ba, the artist and I have this really cool relationship and I think the ideas kinda need to start with me, and I’ll do a sketch and then Gabriel will completely reinterpret that and kinda make it much cooler and much better.

D: That's because that’s your complete world from scratch, whereas with Doom Patrol you’re reinventing something?

G: In the beginning, Umbrella was definitely my complete world from scratch and I had this idea, but Gabriel, especially even in the early days, he helped build that world. I was able to give him a couple references and I’m like, “I don’t know, maybe it’s the ‘60s, maybe it’s the ‘70s. People are dressed like the ‘60s and cars look like they’re from the ‘60s, but there's modern things too.” And he loves drawing architecture, which you don’t find a lot of in comics. A lot of people try to stay away from the buildings in the background and the architecture, but he embraces the architecture so he really built that world with me in the beginning. But we still have our process and the process usually, not always but usually is, especially if it’s a villain or something like that, I’ll do some kind of sketch, even if it’s bad, and then Gabriel will take that and make it something.

D: That’s cool. Collaboration is terrifying and super fun when it’s working.

G: Yeah! When it’s working, it’s amazing, yeah. I love collaborating, and I’ve learned to really embrace it over the years. Delegating and collaborating were two skills I really needed to get really good at, and I think I got better at collaborating after the band. Although, we were pretty good about collaborating in the band, I just got better at it though.

D: Yeah. It’s definitely for Thrice, the most fun but also the hardest thing for sure, and it causes the most tension.

G: Right. Yeah, for sure.

D: Just because you care.

G: Because you care, yeah! You care, and sometimes you do see or hear a complete vision so you want that realized.

D: I think that’s the hardest part. You’re like, “I see all this,” and you’re like, “Okay but there’s three other people.”

G: Yeah!

D: Every single time that I’m set on something, and then everyone else is like, “Dude, no,” every time by the end, I’m like, “Wait, what was I stuck on?”

G: Yeah.

D: It didn’t matter anymore.

G: Yeah!

D: It’s totally a psychological issue at that point.

G: It is!

D: “It has to be this way.” No, it could be a million ways and they’re all different and cool.

G: Yeah. And that’s what I learned too when collaborating on music, is exactly what you just said. You don’t even remember what you were hung up on.

D: Totally.

G: Because it’s just much better after everybody's worked on it.

D: It’s very similar to being super upset about something in the moment and you’re just not thinking clear, and you sleep and you wake up and you’re like, “I was real upset about that. It doesn't seem like a big deal anymore.”

G: Yeah.

D: Time travel is a big thing in Umbrella Academy.

G: Yeah.

D: Which it’s notoriously troublesome to write stories with time travel.

G: Yeah.

D: And not have it just fall apart. If you’re trying to get a specific future, you have to have a bunch of people constantly fixing these things.

G: Right right!

D: I like that way of interpreting because usually it’s, “Oh, we fixed this one thing,” and you expect it to just keep going straight, but no way.

G: Right. I really like that the show took that from the comic and really explored it. All these people making these little corrections, sometimes they’re violent corrections, but sometimes they’re very simple. But time travel is such a pain in the ass. I did not envy them when they were starting to do the writer’s room for Umbrella Academy.

D: They try to make it all work.

G: Try to make it all work. And they’d have to put up these big timeline boards and be like, “Alright, this happens this year,” and that’s what I was doing when I was writing the second volume, Dallas, because there’s not much- I don’t think there’s any real time travel, besides Number 5 coming back, there’s no real time travel in volume one, Apocalypse Suite. But Dallas is all about it, so that was the hardest volume I’ve ever had to write, because time travel is just, it’s so hard.

D: Are there any stories that you like that you feel do it really well?

G: I don’t know if I’ve read enough time travel stories. I mean, I thought Back To The Future did it really well.

D: But then I always get stuck on the idea that you have to, there’s an endless cycle of Martys that have to go back.

G: Oh right!

D: And keep- my brain breaks when I try to be like, “But what if he doesn’t? Then none of it works anymore?” It all breaks.

G: Yeah, it can break very easily, and I think almost every time travel story has the possibility of completely breaking, or at least in some person’s mind out there, it is broken.

D: Yeah.

G: So sometimes you have to take time travel stories almost at face value and be like, “Alright, this works.”

D: Yeah, you can’t- well I think part of that is on the writer or whoever’s making it to address and deflect. The Brian McDonald guy I was telling you about, he talks about that somewhere where he’s like, “You gotta spot the problem and then you just need to have some character address it, and then sweep it away,” just so that it helps whoever’s watching or whatever, it helps them be like, “Oh yeah, what about this?” And then, “Oh, they thought about it.”

G: Yep.

D: And it’s not like it’s making it perfect, right? But it gives you permission to let it go, I think.

G: Yeah yeah. And you do have to address these concerns. I realized my answer might have been possibly a little lazy about taking things at face value, but one of the things I had to do in Dallas was address every concern that I thought the reader would have.

D: Which is great. When you do the addressing, it lets the reader or the watcher or whatever, it lets them let it go and enjoy the story.

G: Yeah, exactly. I’m about to start volume four of Umbrella Academy and I’m really happy because I don’t think it’s gonna have any time travel in it, so I think we’re a little bit away from more time travel in Umbrella Academy.

D: Alright, this is a question from Mike Morale, he says, “In his recent arc, Cliff Steele aka Robotman, regains his humanity, at least in outward form. But on Gerard’s latest, ahem, cliffhanger, Steele burns it all up after facing the painful inhumanity of someone with power to hurt him. I suppose my question is, how do we protect the precious beauty of our humanity while remaining vulnerable to those who have meaning in our lives?”

G: Oh wow. How do we protect that humanity? Well that’s a big question, because especially with given how the world is now and the toxicity out there online and things like that, how do you protect your humanity? Because toxicity, like the kind that Cliff experiences when he goes to visit his mother in that nursing home, it’s a very real thing and it’s something you have to deal with. I don’t know how you hold onto your humanity, it’s hard sometimes.

D: While being vulnerable too.

G: While being vulnerable, yeah exactly.

D: Which I guess is almost synonymous to holding onto your humanity.

G: Yeah.

D: Because you could close off but that’s not good.

G: Yeah exactly. I know this isn’t the healthier, great answer, but I think one of the things I did was to kind of remove myself from certain social medias. But it wasn't unhealthy because what I did was I decided to look inward at that point. Instead of, and I could tell you as many harsh people are on the internet, I was much harsher on myself. I looked in and I asked myself tough questions, I really asked myself what’s right and wrong. I think about these things deeply when I’m writing, but holding onto your humanity is very hard. And Cliff, obviously, he doesn’t hold on to that humanity, and he goes back into his cage because that makes sense to Cliff.

D: His follow up question was, “And does skin make the man, or can metal reflect who we really are just as well?”

G: I believe metal can reflect who we are just as well. I think Cliff Steele is very much Cliff whether he’s a human or a robot. He’s still Cliff and I think that’s one of the things that’s great about the character and why he’s so fun to write because no matter what, he’s still Cliff.

D: I wonder if there's anything you’ve been listening to, watching, reading, that you think people should check out?

G: Let’s see. What have I been reading recently? Well, this is old but I just decided to reread Lord Of The Rings from start to finish, and I made it through the books rather quickly and they’re just such a joy to read. They’re so relaxing, but there is a real build up to Lord Of The Rings. It gets so dark at one point, and horrific, but there’s a calm and a peace to reading it. And the way Tolkien writes, you’re just thinking about the greenery and the trees and the rivers and all of those things, and so it’s a real relaxing read for as much as it ramps up. I have a hard time watching TV. I feel really trapped when I’m watching it so I tend not to watch it at all, which is interesting about having a TV show. I bring a different perspective when I’m giving notes because I don’t watch a lot of TV. And more or less the only TV I watch is edits of Umbrella Academy. But every once in a while, Lindsey will rope me into a show that she feels like I absolutely have to watch, and she did that with Breaking Bad, and I’m really grateful she did. She literally rewatched the whole thing with me, made me watch it, and it’s still one of the best I’ve ever seen. And then she got me into Cobra Kai, have you seen that?

D: No, is it good?

G: I think it’s really good, yeah. Especially the first season is really amazing.

D: I had huge doubts about if that would be good at all.

G: Yeah, watch the first season and one of the things that actually helped hook me into the show is the episodes are a half hour, so it was really cool. I didn’t feel as much of a prisoner of the television when I was watching them, because you can watch a half hour and be done.

D: But books don’t make you feel that way? They expand.

G: Books are my favorite thing, yeah. Books are- you know how a lot of people will use a television to kind of tune out and shut off and relax? I use books to do that, so there’s piles of books next to my bed.

D: Thanks so much for sitting down. It’s been so good to talk to you.

G: You too! It’s been a long time. I miss you.

#gerard way #dustin kensrue #carry the fire podcast #full transcription

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aion-rsa · 4 years ago

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To Sleep In A Sea of Stars and the Importance of Optimism in Sci-Fi

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To Sleep in a Sea of Stars is Christopher Paolini’s first foray into science-fiction, and the first of potentially many stories in the Fractalverse. The story follows xenobiologist Kira Nav��rez as a chance encounter with an ancient, alien artifact propels her into an epic space adventure across the vast expanse of the galaxy, in a fight for the fate of humanity. We talk to the author about the writing process, his sci-fi influences, favorite shared universes, and writing hopeful science fiction.

Note: This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Den of Geek: What is it about science fiction that made you want to create within that framework?

Christopher Paolini: I grew up reading as much science fiction as fantasy. So for me, it was a very natural transition. My dad was and is a huge science fiction fan. My mom was a fantasy reader, so I kind of got both genres from them. And I just love the possibilities of science fiction, and I love how a lot of science fiction talks about the future of humanity, especially as we may be moving off this planet and exploring the rest of the universe. And I was also wanting a change from fantasy after working on The Inheritance Cycle for about 12 years, from 15 to 26/27. That’s a large chunk of one’s life to be put into one project. So yeah, science fiction felt like a very natural fit.

Which came first for you, did you already have an idea that you wanted to write in science-fiction? Or did you have the idea of a whole story in one book, then decide that science fiction would fit with that idea in mind?

I had the idea for the story first and the idea first came about in 2006, 2007. At the time, I wasn’t sure if it was going to be a self contained story or series, but very early on, I decided that yes, it was going to be a one book story. That became increasingly important to me the longer I worked on The Inheritance Cycle, because I didn’t finish that series until the end of 2011, and then I was touring for it mid to late 2012. So when thinking about what I wanted to do next, was like, “Well, I’d rather write a self contained story and then move onto something new.” And also I wanted to get that experience for readers of not having to wait for years and years for the next volume. The ironic thing is that it actually didn’t really take me any less time to write To Sleep than if I had broken it up and just done two or three novels.

Were there any things that you maybe didn’t want to get rid of or cut to make the story fit into one tome that you had to get rid of? If so, how did you deal with that?

No, I told the story of what I wanted to tell. I actually had a unique experience with editing with this book where my editors at Tor, along with the other changes I was making, general revisions and copy edits… They actually had me add about 30,000 words of material to the book as I was revising, which I’ve never had that experience before. So no, everything I wanted to put in the story is in the story. It’s a book that is stuffed to the gills with stuff, and hopefully readers will enjoy all of that stuff. With that said, there is lots of material within the universe and within that setting that I want to write about and have plans for that isn’t in this book. But this book itself has what it needs to have.

Do you have plans for, not necessarily a sequel, but other stories that take place within the same connected universe?

Absolutely. I mean, if people… At least in the hardcover edition of the book, they’ll see there’s the logo for the Fractalverse, not only embossed the cover, but also printed on an inside page and the Fractalverse is a setting that I’ve been working on for quite a long time. The idea is that any stories that I want to tell that aren’t explicitly fantasy can fit within the Fractalverse. So it includes the real world, the far future, the distant past. And even though some of those stories might seem a little disconnected, they will all tie together in the end.

What do you think makes a really good connected or extended shared universe?

Part of it would be theme and tone. I think about Star Wars or Star Trek or Babylon 5 or any of these big franchises, and usually there’s a certain feel associated with that franchise. You know that when you’re going to go watch a James Bond film, for example, or you’re going to go watch a Star Trek film or show, you’re going to get a certain something. So I think theme and tone is a big thing. I’m kind of in the same camp as Sanderson for this one, finding ways to tie in characters, or thematic things, or world events so that things really are interconnected on a deep level. It may not make much of a difference for any one individual story, but when you step back and look at the whole edit sets, you can see how all the pieces fit together.

What are some of your favorite extended universes, across all mediums?

The Cosmere by Sanderson would certainly be up there. Also the Dark Tower series by Stephen King, and how that ties into his other works. I’m not actually a fan of horror. I think that there are enough difficult things in the world already, without putting more of that in my head, but I really appreciate how the Dark Tower sort of ties together his other books, characters cross pollinate between his various stories. I think that’s pretty cool.

If you could choose any character from To Sleep in a Sea of Stars to put into another universe that you didn’t create, which character would you put into that universe and why?

My answer probably won’t surprise you. Gregorovich.

And what universe would you put him in?

Oh geez. Almost anything, almost anything. I would love to see him in… Actually, this would make him deeply unhappy, but the way it tickles my storytelling brain, I would love to see him in Battlestar Galactica and see him grappling with divisions between the humans and the Cylons, and him being sort of an inter median between human and cyborg or even full on Android.

Were there any tropes or things you wanted to explicitly avoid in your writing for To Sleep in a Sea of Stars?

My general approach was to try to treat every character with dignity and respect the same way I would want to be treated or anyone else would want to be treated, to not make a big deal about people being the other, even if sometimes they feel like they’re the other. And also, the thing is, I’m sure there’s still going to be prejudice and discrimination and all sorts of other issues in the future. I mean, humans are humans, that’s unfortunately not going to go away. But there’s no reason to highlight that or make it a major point of your main story or character, unless that’s something you want to grapple with in a deep examination of “how can we do better?”

I wanted to know about the rules you set for To Sleep in a Sea of Stars where: you wanted it to be realistic science, you wanted it to not completely break physics, and you wanted to disallow time travel. What was the reason and the thought process behind that?

The main point for me was that I didn’t want my spaceships to be time machines. Because if you look at the physics of a lot of faster than light travel in a lot of popular franchises, the math says that the spaceships really should be capable of time travel, which, if your story’s not about time travel, having your most popular transportation method allowing for that kind of wrecks your story. So I really, really wanted to avoid that. I really wanted a technical answer that I could wrap my brain around, which would give me a really solid footing for whatever I want to write in the Fractalverse.

What was the process of figuring out how to both be very technical, but also making it where a lay person could just read To Sleep in a A Sea of Stars and actually be able to follow along?

Well, that was very important to me. Having written fantasy, I definitely ran into challenges of info dumping and, and not wanting to info dump, and how do you convey large amounts of information to your readers in a palatable fashion? I definitely learned things when working on The Inheritance Cycle and I tried to apply them in this book. So the goal was to naturally introduce readers to this universe without overloading them with technical information. If readers want that technical information it’s in the appendices at the back of the book. So in some ways it’s almost like science is to science fiction is what magic is to fantasy, it defines the rules of what is possible in that universe. And it’s important for me as the author to know all those rules, but I don’t have to dump out those on the reader all at once.

Were there any habits that you had to break in the transition from writing a fantasy series, then going into a completely different genre and a different world?

Absolutely tons. First of all, I had an established approach style in a society that I had been working with for so long that it was really second nature. So I had to work very hard to come up with a cleaner, more modern style for To Sleep in a Sea of Stars, which I enjoyed. It actually gave me a lot more freedom in terms of the tools I had to write the book. And then also just the pacing of the book is different because To Sleep is a complete story from start to finish. That was actually a little surprising to me, because when you write a series, you really get to know the characters in a way that you just can’t in one book, because you have thousands of pages to live with them. So the pacing was different and that was also a challenge to get used to. On top of that, the fact that a spaceship does not go in faster in an emergency, unlike horses or people, where if you need to get from point A to point B faster, you can just sort of spur the horses on a little more. You can run, you can push yourself harder. Spaceships don’t really do that. Machines don’t really do that. So that put some restrictions on the logistics of moving my characters around, it was a fun restriction.

Are there any common threads between your other series and this new one?

There is a fairly significant easter egg from The Inheritance Cycle in this book that I’ll leave for readers to discover. And then there are my usual obsessions as a writer on display. For example, I find myself continually drawn towards stories of personal transformation, both physical and mental, and that’s on full display here. And a lot of questions of how the individual relates to society. What is your responsibility to people in general if society stopped caring about you as a person? Despite the fact that it’s science fiction, there is a very real ethic and physics to the story, as it proceeds, that people who are fans of that in my fantasy novels will find the same here and will enjoy that also.

If you had to choose for To Sleep in a Sea of Stars to be respectfully adapted into either of the following, a TV mini series, a standalone film, or a AAA game title, which would you choose and why?

I don’t know if it’s one film, but my gut says, a film. Simply because I would love for people to experience the story in one go, that was my whole reason for putting it into one book. I mean, a miniseries or TV show could do a wonderful job of it. But the pacing is different in a TV show and the beats and the emotions are different. So yeah, my gut reaction would be a film.

What are some of your favorite stories specifically set in space across all mediums— book, TV, film, comics, video games?

Well, video games. It would be the Mass Effect series, specifically if you’re playing with Commander Shepard, who is voiced by the amazing Jennifer Hale, who we were fortunate to get to read the audiobook. And she did an absolutely fantastic job with that. The Halo series, Babylon 5, Battlestar Galactica, old school Star Trek, the Hyperion series by Dan Simmons. Dune by Frank Herbert, including the David Lynch film, which I have a soft spot in my heart for. Wild Seed by Octavia Butler. I know that’s science fiction, that’s not in space. I think those would be some of the big ones. Oh, a lot of Iain Banks’ sci-fi novels.

What job do you think you would have, in the To Sleep in a Sea of Stars universe?

Well, given that the To Sleep in a Sea of Stars universe includes the real universe, I have a feeling I’d have the exact job I have now, writing epic stories that people would hopefully enjoy.

If you could bring one thing from the To Sleep in a Sea of Stars universe into our real modern day, present day, what would it be and why?

If I had to pick one piece of human technology to bring, it would actually be the fusion drives from the spaceship, because that would allow us to access the rest of the solar system in a way that we can’t, and really start spreading. I mean, the solar system we have is huge. So that alone would really provide an enormous boost for us as a species.

If you had to convey what To Sleep in a Sea of Stars is about to someone or something that doesn’t communicate with language as we understand it, what vibes would you want to give off or what feeling would you try to express?

I love this question. Oh, I’m so glad you asked that. I would want to convey the same feeling that inspired me to write this book in the first place. And it would be a feeling of… A tingle down your spine, of awe and wonder, both horrible and beautiful at our place within the universe. At the fact that the universe even exists and that we exist, in a bittersweet ache, that things are never perfect, but we still have accomplished all we can. And there’s hope for the future.

That’s a really hard thing to combine into one word or one sentence. But I literally wrote this entire book to try and convey that feeling and hopefully to convey it in the very last scene, in the very last line of the book.

This is a really good time for this book, I was surprised at how delicate and hopeful it was.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

I want to write optimistic fiction, ultimately. I never wanted to leave my readers depressed when they finish one of my books. I’ve heard so many people over the years where Eragon got them into reading, or one of the books helped them, helped a person through a difficult time in their life. And it makes me think that, well, if they’d read the wrong book and the wrong time, it might’ve made life a lot harder for them. So I think it will be unlikely that you’ll ever catch me writing a grim dark fantasy or science fiction.

To Sleep in a Sea of Stars is out now.

The post To Sleep In A Sea of Stars and the Importance of Optimism in Sci-Fi appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3c5gh1e

#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

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lilyginnyblackv2 · 6 years ago

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Since this reboot is more closely following the manga than the 2001 anime did, I knew this scene and line was going to be included, but it still makes me so happy to see things like this. While Takaya-sensei likely didn’t have any element of the story mapped out from the start (no author/creator really does), her way of introducing the Zodiac members was always really nicely done in the manga. She made their introductions seem very natural. There was never a feeling in the series that we were being introduced to these new characters just because, there was always some kind of connection or tie that was made first, whether through the narrative or through other character interactions. And this screenshot above is such a good example of this. In the original 2001 version of the anime, they left Haru out of the New Year’s episode and reserved all of his character introduction to the next episode. By structuring the episodes like that, it comes off more “Monster of the Week-ish” ...except, I guess you would call it “Zodiac of the Week-ish.” It doesn’t feel as natural and adds a more formulaic layer to the introduction and inclusion of the Zodiac members.

But by keeping to the natural approach that Takaya-sensei used in the manga (and even adding onto this with some certain scenes, cameos, and moments in Episode 7 - in particular) it gives the series a more realistic approach. Just take this one moment as an example, by having this scene with Haru and that line about how he had been looking forward to a last fight for the year - it gives him an actual, clear motive for seeking out Kyo, Yuki, and Tohru in the next episode. We see him receiving info., commenting on that new info. that he received, and then we will see him acting on it in the next episode to come. This moment will makes next week’s episode flow better and feel very natural. And this approach as a whole makes the characters and plot of Fruits Basket feel more interconnected. It also gives the watchers plenty of re-watch value. Especially the total newcomers to the series.

So seeing this this short moment in the newest episode just made me very pleased and happy! :D

#Fruits Basket #Furuba #Natsuki Takaya #writing #Fruits Basket manga spoilers #Fruits Basket spoilers #Furuba spoilers #FB spoilers #Hatsuharu Sohma #shigure sohma #Hatori Sohma

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twilightofthe · 5 years ago

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fanfic asks!! really late!!: a, b, c (walk the family line), d, j, n, r

Hello you!!! Thanks so much for the ask, so sorry I couldn’t get to it sooner!! Ask questions are from this writing ask game

A: Of the fanfic you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?

Oooof ok, time to pick my favorite child!!! Lol but really, all of my current fics up are just so different, ya know? I put a little bit of myself into all of them, and I’m so happy to see how they all turn out! I think I’ll always have a soft spot for And The Void Answered Back just because it’s the first fic I ever finished, but I really like all of them equally!!!!

B: What was the first fandom you read fic in? Which was the first you wrote fic for?

Answered here

C: How did you come up with the title to Walk The (family) Line?

Ok, so for context, this is the series name of my Force Ghost SW Sequels Reaction Trilogy, with one fic for each movie in the trilogy. I knew I wanted a title that would emphasize my point in all of this, that was to connect Anakin Skywalker and the rest of the Skywalker saga more fully to the events of the Sequels to make them really feel like one connected saga, which I honestly didn’t feel like the movies had done a very good job of (still don’t, honestly). Was playing around with different overarching titles and things to do with family lines and the phrase “Walk The Line” popped into my head, and after googling its meaning, found it was almost exactly what I was looking for, and adding in the tiny little emphasis on (family) really sealed it for me!

D: What’s the most personal fanfic you’ve written?

That’s a tie between ATVAB and Pas de Deux, honestly. Void started off as just a oneshot I wrote during a boring class of Force ghosts rambling at Luke on the island because I had missed them in TLJ and figured I might as well publish it because it wasn’t half bad. But then I kept writing them, because I hadn’t realized just how much I had missed Anakin and the other ghosts in the Sequel Trilogy until I was knee-deep in the TFA script and trying to add the ghosts in anywhere. I know Disney is trying to distance itself from the Skywalkers so they can play all by themselves in their newly-purchased sandbox, but honestly, that’s always been what Star Wars has been about for me, what made me fall in love with it, the antics of this one stupid overdramatic family, and writing a catharsis fic that injected what I loved back into a trilogy I found myself falling gradually more and more out of love with was really important for me.

Pas de Deux I originally wrote because I wanted to explore the concept of Ahsoka knowing Jar’Kai and why. I am by no means trying to police people’s headcanons, y’all can think whatever you want, I am not judging. But. I always found that when people would just casually toss out “oh it was ever so obvious that OBI WAN taught Ahsoka Jar’Kai because he’s really good at it”, it just rubbed me the wrong way because to me it sounded like “Anakin is incompetent at everything and needs his Master-- who is better than him at everything --to do everything for him up and including teach his student the most major part of her training”. The thing is, even tho I know that in this particular instance people didn’t mean it like that, it sadly is a really popular opinion held in this fandom that Anakin is stupid and useless and can’t do anything for himself without Obi Wan doing it for him or doing it better (don’t get me wrong, I know some people JOKE about this, I jokingly say it myself, and I know some of my mutuals joke about it too, this isn’t directed at y’all, but like some people wholeheartedly believe it unironically and use it as an excuse to bash my boi).

For the Jar’Kai thing, I knew I was thinking irrationally-- heck, I remember thinking myself whenever I saw Obes dual wield that he probably taught Ahsoka --and remember at one point being like “jeez, paranoid much? I’m sounding just like Anakin when I think this,” and that was what really hit the nail on the head for me and I realized what was making me so upset. I projected onto this mess a little too much, and now whenever ppl called him dumb or incompetent, I was accidentally taking it too personally. Then I thought further that, “you know what? Anakin’s insecure, he’s probably had those exact same thoughts himself”, and that started me on writing a fic that explored my own anxieties as much as Anakin’s while I tried to tackle a way that could involve Obi Wan in Ahsoka’s training that didn’t make Anakin out to be incompetent/incapable. So yea, a LOT of Anakin’s vulnerabilities and worries mentally in the fic is a spiral I’ve gone down very many times myself, those were my anxieties, and also just my desire to have someone like Obi Wan in my life to help me with stuff too lol, so that’s pretty personal for me.

J: What’s your favorite fanfic trope? Have you written it?

Favorite trope, eh? That’s tough, there’s so many!!!! I guess I love hyper-competence, seeing my faves be reeeeally good at what they do and others appreciating them for it. I’ve definitely written this.

I like mutual protectiveness, seeing characters going full force defensive, would face a whole army to protect someone they love romantically/familially/platonically, because fuck you you aren’t hurting a hair on their head while I’m around. I’ve written a little bit of this too.

I like dashing romantic gestures right out of a fairytale because I’m a little girl with a princess complex at heart and I’m still waiting for my wayward knight. I’ve written some of this, could always write more.

I like dying dramatically together/shared fates, just the idea of two souls intertwined and interconnected that always find their way back to each other and die together. I don’t think I’ve written this.

I like playful banter, obviously, it makes my heart happy. I’ve written this, want to write more.

N: Any fic ideas brewing that you’d care to share?

Answered here

R: Which writers (fanfic or otherwise) do you consider the biggest influence on you and your writing?

Answered here

Thank you so so much for asking again, friendo!!!! I had a lot of fun with these!!!!!!!!!!

#ask #asks #morai musings #bpdanakins

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suzubelle-chan · 6 years ago

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A Cass/Ralnor Childhood Romance Au: Someday, Someplace Prologue

Hello there! First off huge shout out to @s-kinnaly, @ridersoftheapocalypse, @mrneighbourlove for creating these characters and letting me use them for this story! The title says everything you need to know-this will be a fic about Cass and Ralnor, falling in love when they are kids and watching that love and the two of them change and grow over the years. There won’t be any monsters or Big Bad to slay, but there will some angst and drama later on. Right now, however, the fic will be like 85-90% fluff. I’ll warn you when the time comes, but that won’t be for long while-given how I write. Sorry, just wanted to get this out of the way first. Now onto the fic.

Someday, Someplace Prologue A Prince’s Day, A Merchant’s Night

The royal family of Hyrule was having a wonderful lunch together, sitting around a low table as they ate and talked. Until Zelda opened her mouth and said, “Alright children let’s go over your lessons for the rest of the day.”

The room filled with groans in high pitched tones.

"Aw, Mama do we have to?" Covarog asked.

“Can’t we stay with you and Papa and Tebanam?” Kanisa asked, clinging to her father’s side.

“While I do wish we could spend more time together, you do need to go to your lessons," Ganondorf stated, stroking her head.

“Are you sure we can’t stay with you a little longer?” Ralnor asked.

“I’m sorry dears, lessons come first,” Zelda responded.

“Then can we at least take Teb with us? He’s probably really lonely…” Orana stated.

Said four-year-old was currently grabbing bits of rice and stuffing into his mouth, at the mention of his name he stopped and looked at his sister, let out a squeak.

“Teb is a little too little to go to lessons yet. Next year he will and you can help him.” Zelda replied.

The princess pouted and crossed her arms.

“Now back to your lessons,” Zelda stated, wiping her mouth with a handkerchief. “We have Science with Ms. Isley.”

“Yes!” Orana and Ralnor cheered.

“Combat Practice with Klinge.” Zelda continued.

“Yay!” All of the children exclaimed.

“And finally, your etiquette lessons with Mr. Corum.”

Now all the children groaned.

“Why Mama why?” Covarog moaned.

“Do we have to? He’s the worst!” Kanisa argued.

“His lessons are terrible!” Ralnor offered.

The queen sighed, “I know that Mr. Corum lessons may not be a fun class.”

“Mama, they are the opposite of fun. Like the opposite side of the world to fun.” Orana stated.

“Plus, he always makes us sit up so straight my back hurts,” Covarog whined.

“Well maybe if you always sat up straight it wouldn’t always feel so bad,” Zelda commented.

The children huffed all together in response.

“Trust me dears, I had to go through the same lessons when I was your age. It is important as royalty that we have the best manners so no one thinks we are rude. Once you learn all you need to know, then it will be easier and you won’t have any lessons like this,” Zelda replied.

Ralnor glanced at his father, now holding Tebanam trying to wipe the corners of his mouth, and stated, “Papa didn’t have to go through these lessons when he was little and he’s royalty.”

The king smiled, gazing at his son affectionately but when he caught his wife glaring, he stopped. “Well that is true, but I wasn’t born a royal. So, when I married your mother, she gave me all kinds of lessons about manners.”

“Were they boring?” Covarog asked.

“The absolute most boring things I sat through. But now I’m on the other side and no longer have to do those lessons.” He patted the children’s heads. “You will be too. Just smile, do as your teacher asked, practiced and soon no more manner lessons.”

All the children listened, wide-eyed. "Really?"

“Yes, but that won’t be today. So, get to your lessons. At least the sooner you get to lessons, the sooner they will be over.” The king stated. “Now off you go. Your escort is waiting for you outside the room.

“Okay!” They all cheered and gave their parents one hug before heading out.

“Why is it they always listen to you?” Zelda wondered.

Ganondorf beamed, puffing out his chest. “I just know what to say.”

“Besides lying about those lessons,” she mentioned.

“You did teach how to use silverware a couple of times. Longest dinners of my life. Of any life really. Same thing.”

Zelda rolled her eyes, "Yes dear. Of course, they were."

The children’s eyes followed as Professor Isley as walked in front of their desks, her green robes pooling around her body. Her emerald eyes shone brightly as she continued on her lesson. She flicked off one of her red curls from her face as she asked, “Okay, Prince Covarog please tell me about the food chain.” A young woman asked, a piece of chalk in

Covarog stared at Professor Isley. “Um…the food chain is who-eats-who in nature. Plants are eaten by animals and other animals eat them.”

“A rather good summarization, but I would like more details. Would anyone else like to expand on Covarog’s explanation?”

“Well the animals that eat other animals are called predators and the animals that get eaten are called prey,” Kanisa commented.

“That’s very good, your highness. Does anyone else have anything to add?”

Ralnor raised his hand and Isley called on him, “Plants in a food chain are also called producers because they can make their food from sunlight and water. Animals are consumers because they need to eat others for food.”

“Excellent as always Ralnor! Just what I was looking for!” The woman gushed.

“Thank you, ma’am.” The boy smiled.

The woman flipped over her chalkboard, now displaying a large number of animals and plants, connected to each other by a series of arrows. “Now food webs are an interconnected food chain. Take a good look at the chart and tell me what that means.”

The children stared. Covarog tilted and scratched his head. Orana’s head bobbed up and down. Kanisa continued to stare with a frown. Ralnor looked all over the board and then shot up his hand.

The teacher nodded and the boy spoke, “It means that some animals are eaten by more than one kind of animals. Like in the chart, bunnies are eaten by snakes and foxes.”

“Very good Ralnor.”

“But then why are all the arrows pointing up?” Covarog asked. “Shouldn’t they be pointing down to show who eats who?”

“Very good observation your highness. Does anybody have any ideas?”

Ralnor once again raised his hand and the professor called on him. “It’s because it shows how energy flows from producers to consumers and from one consumer to another.”

“Excellent!”

Orana sighed, “This class is sad.”

“What makes it say that?” the teacher asked.

“Well look at those poor birdies and bunnies! They get eaten up by so many other animals!”

“While it is sad that some animals are eaten, it is a part of life. If there were no predators, then all the birds and bunnies would eat all their food, and then they would get hungry. This way this keeps balance. And don’t worry, there will always be more birdies and bunnies then predators.”

“Why is that?” Orana asked.

“It’s just how nature balances out to make sure there are still animals,” responded Isley.

“What about plants? Will there always be plants?” Ralnor asked.

“Why yes,” the teacher smiled. “As long as they have soil and water, plants will always survive. Why do you ask?”

“Well birds and bunnies can run away from predators, but plants can’t move. They are just stuck in the ground by their roots. I just really like plants and I would hate to see them all go.”

Isley smiled, “You truly possess a wonderful mind. While it is true that many plants are defenseless to being eaten, there are some plants have defenses that stop animals from eating them.”

“There are plants can defend themselves?” Ralnor asked, incuriously.

"Yes, some plants will have certain attributes that make animals wary or incapable of eating them. Some plants produce spikes that hurt whoever tries to eat them."

“Is that why the roses in the garden have thorns?” Kanisa asked.

“Or why cacti have their sharp spines?” Orana asked.

“Indeed. Other plants produce liquids that will make animals sick or even kill them if they eat them. Those are known as poisonous plants.”

The prince let out a soft, “Whoa…”

“Whoa indeed. So, it very important to not eat any unfamiliar plants-whether they are berries, roots, or leaves unless an expert tells you it’s okay.

Orana raised her hand and asked, “Is it possible that broccoli is poisonous?”

“No why do you ask?” the teacher replied.

“Because it tastes so bad. How can something like that not make you sick?”

The whole classroom giggled.

“While some plants don’t have the best tastes, they are not poisonous.”

“Mama didn’t pay you to say that, did she?” Ralnor asked.

The teacher laughed again, wiping a tear from your eye. “No again. You little smart-alec you. Now it’s time for all of you to head to your other lessons.”

“Okay,” the children grabbed their books and papers.

Ralnor walked over to the teacher and tugged at her skirt. "Excuse me, Ms. Isley, could you teach us more about poisonous plants?”

“We’ll have to see, but I am very pleased about your curiosity. Never lose that." She stated, tapping his mind.

The boy stared a bit, eyes wide, a bit confused.

“Hey Ralnor, let’s go!” Covarog called out.

“Okay! Goodbye Ms. Isley,” the boy stated and ran off after his brother.

The children took several steps outside the classroom before Covarog paused. “Wait we forgot Del!”

The rest of the pack stopped a few steps before him.

“Who?” Orana asked.

“Our guard for the day, you know, the guy that follows us around the castle for our lessons,” the eldest prince explained.

“Oh yeah!” Orana said.

“Actually, I kind of forget about them after a while,” Ralnor admitted. “So, where is he?”

Kanisa dashed over to the room, peaked inside and giggled, “Found him.”

The rest of the children followed and started to laugh at the sight. Dell sat there at the back of the class in a chair, his tongue hanging out and head tilted, perched on his hand. His eyes followed the teacher as she rubbed to board clean.

Covarog walked over to the knight and knocked on his leg, “Mr. Dell, it’s time to go.”

The soldier didn’t even notice, just sighing and switching hands.

The rest of the siblings joined their brother, gathering around the man. “Oh boy, this one has got it bad,” Kanisa commented.

“I don’t know how we are going to get him out of it," Orana said.

“Me neither, but I do know one thing,” Ralnor said as he looked away from the man.

“What?” Covarog asked.

“Duck!” he hollered and lowered himself.

His siblings turned their heads and quickly ducked too. However, the knight just stared affectionately unaware until it was too late. A chalk eraser smacked him right in the head, causing him to fall over. After a few moments of watching the stars above his head, he quickly dashed off.

The children rose and stared at their teacher, some of her red locks out of the bun, arm stretched out in front of her.

“Sorry,” Ralnor stated.

“It’s not your fault, young prince,” The woman sighed, pulling her locks back into her bun. “Just once I wish your father would find one guard that wouldn’t drool over me.”

“It’ll get better once Ima comes back from her vacation,” Kanisa said.

The teacher sighed, “I do hope she comes back soon. Now I think it’s best for you to go to your next lesson. Especially, since your guard has probably already left the building.”

The kids agreed and left the room. As they walked out, Ralnor commented, “We lose a lot of guards this way.

Now outside, each with a wooden stool, the children waited. They all stood as straight as they could for the guard before them. As all as their papa, Klinge strolled back and forth, his armor gleaming in the sun. He watched with discerning eyes.

“So, tell me, children, what is one of the most important rules in fighting?" the guard asked.

"Keep your stance wide, body lowered," Covarog answered.

"Always protect your face," Ralnor replied.

“Strength comes from the breath not the muscles,” Orana declared.

“Um… That strength isn’t all that matters in a fight. If you just take a second look, then maybe you see there’s another way,” Kanisa squeaked out.

“All good ideas children,” he stated. “Why did you remember those lessons in particular?”

The children blinked for a bit. Ralnor answered first, “Because you said that if we get hit in the face, then we could be knock out and our opponent could really hurt us.”

“Excellent memory, young one.” The knight commented. “Now how about the rest of you?”

“I remember how you said that you have to keep breathing or else your muscles get tired more quickly and you lose strength,” Orana declared. “So, then you can’t hit your opponents hard.

Covarog replied, “I thought of it because if you stand like that, it’s harder for your opponent to knock us off your feet. It’s hard to fight while on the ground.”

Kanisa messed with her feet, “Um…you said that you didn’t have to be the strongest to win the fight. Sometimes thinking how you would hit your opponent could important as how hard you hit them. I really liked it that thought so I remembered it.”

The Darknut hummed, “All good answers. Now onto the lesson,” the man turned away from the children. The princes and princesses waited for the next words, but he remained silent. The heirs just stared at his back.

“Um…Uncle Klinge?” Kanisa squeaked out.

The man roared and swung his blade at the children. Covarog and Orana braced themselves with their swords, close to them. Ralnor held the blade out in his outstretched arms. Kanisa held her blade with only one hand and shielded her face with the other.

Klinge just stopped a few inches away from the wood. Then he set the sword on his shoulder. “Pretty good response. But you will need to work on your guarding skills.”

“What?” Ralnor asked.

“Uncle Klinge you really scared us!” Kanisa stated, hands on hips as she stomped.

“Ha! I wasn’t scared!” Orana stated.

"Your knees are shaking," Covarog mentioned.

Orana pouted and gave her older brother a light punch.

“What was that for?” Ralnor asked.

"When learning how to fight, you must learn how to protect yourself from any attacks," Klinge stated. “You could be attacked at any time. You must be prepared to defend yourselves. Covarog, Orana, good response. Just need to work angling your weapons for utmost protection. Ralnor you need to keep your weapon close to you for best defense. Kanisa you need to make sure to actually defend yourself. We will keep doing this until you have a proper defensive stance.” He then let out another roar.

After about two hours, the Darknut let down his sword, “Alright, that’s enough for today. Remember children that you need to always be alert. Always ready to strike.”

“Yes sir,” the kids agreed. Sweat covered all over their bodies, but their smiles streached across their faces. Klinge’s lessons were one of the toughest they had, but they were always exciting.

“Especially you Kanisa.”

The youngest princess flinched and nodded. "Yes, sir."

The man sighed, kneeling to the ground and patted her head. “Child, please know that I am tough on you only because I want to make sure that you are ready to fight.”

“I don’t really want to fight people…” the princess replied.

“I know, you don’t. But doesn’t mean there will not people or monster that want to fight you. And they won’t take no for answer.” The knight stood up tall. “I wish I could protect you, all of you, all the time. But I can’t. So, I want to make sure you can defend yourself.”

“I understand Uncle Klinge. I’m sorry I’m so scared,” Kanisa replied.

“It’s alright. It’s only natural to feel that way when attacked. However, you can’t let your emotions control you in a fight. I know you will be a great fighter someday.”

Kanisa let out a small smile before looking down at the ground again.

Covarog stood there for a moment and suggested, “Maybe there’s a different way to test our reflexes?”

“What?” Klinge asked.

“You want to be able to hit anyone that comes at us in any direction, right? So, what if there’s a way to do that without you scaring us so much?” Covarog offered.

"That is an interesting thought…What do you suggest prince?"

“Um…honestly that’s as far as I got,” The eldest admitted.

Ralnor glanced and asked, “How about you throw something at us, and we try to avoid it?”

“What?” Orana asked.

“Well I mean, if you could throw something at us, from all around, then we would get better at blocking something all around. I don’t know what, but I think that might work.” Ralnor offered.

“That sounds great!” Covarog stated.

“That does sound like a rather interesting concept.” The Darknut admitted. “But I’m not sure what we could use.”

“How about balls? I mean if they are small and not that hard.” Orana offered.

“That’s perfect!” Ralnor exclaimed. “Plus, we could try to hit the balls with our swords so we can better at those too.”

“That would be an ideal object,” the knight agreed. He then looked at Kanisa, “What do you think?”

The princess glanced up in her thoughts before replying, “It doesn’t sound so bad. As long as the balls are not too hard.”

“I’ll see what I can do, however, I may throw them as hard as you can," the dark nut stated. "You have to prepare for all kinds of attacks."

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Orana stated.

“Why not?” Klinge suggested.

“Well if you hit us, you’d break a bone. And if you miss us, you’d break a window or wall or something. Do you really want Mama and Papa to yell at you for that?”

The children chuckled and after a few moments, the knight joined. “I suppose you are right. I’ll try going easy on you for now.”

"Thank you, Uncle Klinge," Kanisa smiled. And wrapped her arms around as much of the man as she could. Her siblings joined in and the knight returned the embrace.

“Alright children, now time for you to go to your next lesson,” Klinge commented.

All of the kids groaned.

“No Uncle Klinge can’t we stay with you?” Kanisa pleaded.

“We…wanna do more training!” Ralnor declared.

“Come on, just a few more minutes?” Covarog questioned.

All of the children’s eyes grew extremely wide, like a bunch of puppies looking up at hopeful owners.

The man rubbed his chin, “I’m assuming that this next lesson is with Mr. Corum.”

Orana groaned, “Yes! He is the worst!”

“While I do agree that Corum can be disagreeable, it is important for you to learn your manners too.”

“Even more important to defend ourselves?” Ralnor pondered, a light tone to his voice.

The knight smirked, “I see what you are doing and they are of equal importance. You have great intelligence Ralnor, you need to learn to use it all situations. Not just trying to flattering your teachers. Now children go.”

The children let out one last sigh and hug before heading to the last class.

When they approached an oak door, a sense of dread filled the air. Covarog swallowed. Ralnor glared. Kanisa shivered and Orana placed an arm around her, despite her shaking hands.

“It’s only for a few hours. Then we won’t have to see him for a few days.” Covarog stated.

"You always say that," Orana said.

“But it’s true.” The eldest prince stated.

“Remember what Mama said about meanies, just smile and agree until they leave?” Kanisa suggested.

"Good idea," Ralnor stated.

"But I bet he'll find something wrong with those too," Orana stated.

“Well, we can’t wait out here forever. He’ll yell at us for being late.” Covarog stated and knocked on the door, "It's us, Mr. Corum. We are here for our lesson.”

“Come on,” a deep voice boomed.

The eldest opened the door, revealing a short man with a thick black mustache and pointed ears waiting in front of a desk. His black robes swished as he walked to the kids. He stopped right before them, pointing his ruler right at Covarog's nose. “None of you are on time,” he declared.

Ralnor glanced over his brother’s shoulders to the grandfather that ticked and tocked loud enough for the children to hear. “But sir we are two minutes early,” he argued.

“You must be on time, your highnesses. If you are late, you will appear sloppy to your hosts. If you are early then you are inconveniencing them by not giving them enough time. Now come, we are discussing ball etiquette today.

The children glanced at each, exasperated. Mr. Corum’s lessons were always long. This one would probably the longest yet.

After an eternity or about two hours, the children had droned into their heads all about proper attire, table manners, and almost everything and anything nobody really wanted to know about balls.

“Now as the ball commences, what will you be doing?” Corum asked, pointing at the crown prince with a ruler.

“I will be mingling with nobles and dancing with the young ladies?” the prince answered.

“While your confidence makes me worry about this kingdom, your answer is correct.”

The prince crouched down in his seat.

“Sit up straight!” He bellowed, rapping the desk with his ruler.

All of the children jumped as they sat up straighter than ever.

“Now as you hopefully know there are several dances performed in succession at the ball....”

Ralnor scratched feverously at his notes trying to get as much down. The teacher stopped for a moment and the boy took a moment to breathe. He glanced away for a moment to see what made the teacher stopped. His heart stopped when he saw Kanisa’s hand raised, shaking but her eyes looked determined.

Corum raised his brow. “Finally, some willing participation from you. What is it you would like to say, young lady?"

“I was wondering, if it would be alright, I dance for people at the ball?” the princess wondered.

“What?” the teacher asked.

“Papa told me that when Gerudo have guests, especially foreign ones, often a princess would dance for them. I mean, it won't happen until I'm all grown up, but do you think it would be alright?" Kanisa wondered.

The man sneered, “While I do appreciate you trying to be involved, your…dancing would never be suitable for a ball.”

“Not even if I practiced really hard?” she asked, eyes watering.

“It is not your technique the people would find vulgar, it is the dancing yourself. Twirling around in revealing clothing, it is unseemly for a Hylian princess. Everyone would laugh at you and your family. It would be best to keep your Gerudo customs as far away from the court as you can.”

Kanisa eyes now filled with tears, but she looked up at the teacher, “Alright sire. Thank you for answering my question.

“Yes, well back to the lesson,” the man stated and turned his back on his students.

Orana stood there, mouth opened wide. Covarog glared at him, fists clenched. For a moment, it looked like they would yell at their teacher. With a screech on the tile, one chair parted as its owner stood up. But no one could believe who it was. Ralnor, completely red in the face, hollered, “Why can’t she dance?”

The man turned around, “What?”

The boy stomped, “Kanisa said the Gerudo used to this for all foreign visitors. That includes Hylians too. And they liked it then. Why wouldn’t they like it now?”

“Because that kind of dancing is not proper for a Hylian princess, as I’ve said.” The teacher reiterated.

“But Kanisa is also a Gerudo princess too. So, shouldn’t she also follow Gerudo traditions too? Why should act like she’s not Gerudo when she is?”

“Ralnor I always thought you were the most…civil of your siblings. Please don’t break that thought.”

“I don’t care about what you think about me! You shouldn’t be mean to my little sister, or anyone because they are Gerudo.”

The man squared his shoulders and pointed at the prince, “You boy, should be a good prince and be quiet and content that you have the life you have. As nothing more than a second-born prince, you won’t be much use to the kingdom so at least learn to behave as to not embarrass Hyrule.

The boy slumped his shoulders, dropping his jaw. He squeaked out a soft, “What?”

"Hey, you can't talk to my little brother that way!" Covarog roared

“Stop picking on my family!’ Orana bellowed.

“Now see here you-” The man retorted before loud gonging cut him off. Everyone glanced to see the clock tower, longhand at twelve. He let out a huff, “Well looks like class is over for the day. But don’t think I won’t remember this. I’ll alert your parents of this unruly behavior. And you will receive extra homework, not only do I want a three-page paper on the dos and don’ts of proper ball behavior, I want a four-page paper of what one should expect at a ball's meal, along with complete coverage of manners of the ball, which utensil to use when, how to excuse yourself, proper points of discussion and more.”

“Aw!” the children grumbled.

“Silence. Or else I’ll give you an extra assignment on the proper dress and I will want to you detail every piece down to the stitching on the socks and every button. Now out!”

The children quickly scurried out of the room. The man turned his back out of the room, grumbling. Orana made a quick trip back and stuck her tongue, complete with raspberry sound. However, Ralnor pulled her out of the doorway before the man whipped around to see an empty frame.

Once they made their way to their parent’s office, Zelda stood there before her desk giving one of her famous glares to the children, arms crossed. Ganondorf knelt to the side with Tebanam as he played with some blocks in the corner. Zelda started, “While I do know that you don’t care much for Mr. Corum’s lessons, your behavior today was inexcusable. Disrupting a lesson, talking back to a teacher, I know you are all young but you really need to learn how to behave.”

Ganondorf walked over and placed his hand on her shoulder, “Now dear. It’s true its not their favorite class, but our children wouldn’t do anything like this without reason. The rest of the tutors give glowing praises about the children’s actions” he gave a quick glance at Orana, “Most of the time.”

“Hey!” Orana shouted.

There was a slight giggle in the room but Zelda’s glare stopped it.

“It wouldn’t be like them if all of them were acted up. There has to be a reason. Let the children speak,” Ganondorf explained.

Ralnor took a deep breath and opened his mouth but Kanisa declared, “It’s all my fault!”

Everyone stared at the little princess. “Kanisa?” Zelda asked.

“I asked Mr. Corum if I could dance at the ball when I’m older Gerudo style like Papa said his daughters used to for his guests. But Mr. Corum said it wouldn't be appropriate for a Hylian princess. I accepted it, but Ralnor didn’t and got mad at him. And the two of them started fighting. And then Covarog and Cass got mad and yelled too. And that’s when Corum got angry and gave us homework. It’s all my fault, I should never have asked my question. I’m sorry.”

"No!" Ralnor yelled. "I'm the one who got into a fight with Mr. Corum. I couldn't understand why he didn't want Kanisa to dance Gerudo style because she was a Hylian princess. I mean she's a Gerudo princess too, and Corum is supposed to teach us all about traditions, right? Why shouldn’t she dance like a Gerudo if she’s Gerudo too.”

“And when Ralnor asked these questions,” Covarog interjected, “He said some weird things to Ralnor, so I got mad.”

“So, did I-we couldn’t take what he said anymore!” Orana declared.

“Wait wait wait a moment-what did Corum say to you Ralnor?” the mother asked.

Ralnor took a deep breath and answered, “Well he said I was nothing more than a second-born prince, that I won’t be useful to Hyrule, and I should work hard to not embarrass it.” He looked up to his parents, his big teal eyes wider than ever and asked, “What did he mean?

Zelda knelt down and hugged him tightly for a moment before looking him in the eye. “Ralnor none of that is true. Well, you are second born prince. But you are more than that. You are smart, kind, curious, and your papa and I love you so very much. We wouldn’t change”

The boy returned the hug and then let go. He smiled for a moment, “But what about me being useful?”

“Uh well…you see…” Zelda started.

Now Ganondorf joined his wife on his knees, now taking his hands. “My son,” he started. "What Corum say is true to a point. Because Covarog will be king, lots of people will want to talk with him: the nobles, foreign visitors, the commoners. So much that they might ignore you in order to be with him. And there will be a time when Mama and I will be focused on your brother so we can teach him how to be king.” He squeezed the little hands, “However, let me tell you this, your mama is right. We love you just as much as we love Covarog. Perhaps the court may not see it, but the people who truly love you will and love you for it.”

Ralnor stared wide-eyed at his papa, “Uh…”

The king smiled, “It is alright you don’t understand now. Just know that Mama, Papa, Ima, Klinge, and your siblings love you and that’s all that matters.”

“Okay,” the boy said brightly. He hugged his father who eagerly returned the embrace. Zelda, Covarog, Orana, and Kanisa joined in. Tebanam noticed the group and wrapped as much as his little arm could on the family group.

Zelda broke up the hug, stood up and cleared her throat, “Well now that I understand why you acted up in class. This time it’s excusable, but I do hope you will try to refrain from yelling at your teachers from now on.”

“Yes mama,” Covarog, Ralnor, and Kanisa agreed.

“Unless they start it?” Orana asked.

Zelda put her hands on her hips, “Under any circumstances, young lady.”

Orana nervously smiled, “Okay mama.”

“And now that’s settled,” Ganondorf stated as he rose up, “We can start discussing important things.”

“Like what?” Ralnor asked.

“Like which stalls you really want to see when we go out tomorrow to look over preparations for Daourfel,” Ganondorf announced.

The children cheered and squealed. Tebanam clapped his hands and yelled along with his siblings.

“I wanna look at the animal stalls!” Orana declared.

“Can we please go to the book stalls?” Ralnor said.

“Please? Please? Please, Papa, we've got to see books!” Kanisa asked.

“Toys too please!” Covarog asked.

“Toys please!” Tebanam repeated.

“Alright! Alright!” the king chuckled. “We will talk about it and make a plan. Now go and wash up for dinner.”

The kids scrambled over to the washroom, Kanisa leading Tebanam by holding his hand. Just as Ganondorf was about to follow, Zelda caught him by the hand. She leaned into his large figure, wrapping her arms around as much of his waist as she could. “Thank you. You really do know what to say to make the kids feel better.”

“I do my best.” He stated, wrapping an arm around his wife. “You too said the truth. I just hope that when the time comes, he really understands what I am saying.”

“It’s just a matter of time before he grasps it. He’s a smart kid. They all are,” Zelda stated.

“That they get from you dear,” Ganondorf beamed.

“Flatterer,” she smirked.

The king bent leaned into each other when there was a loud splash and a series of "Uh-ohs.” And the parents sighed.

“Never a calm moment with the children around,” Zelda sighed.

“At least it’s not dull,” he stated.

The parents smiled at each other, gave a quick laugh, and rushed to settle an overflow of soap, water spilled all over the floor, and several wet children.

After everything was settled in the bathroom, the royal family ate dinner, planning their next day. Then it was time for bed. But just as Ralnor pulled the sheets over himself, he sat up and he asked, “What will I be when I grow up?”

Zelda and Ganondorf turned towards their son. “What dear?” the mother asked.

"Well, I'm not going to be the king like you said. So, what will I be?”

"You'll be a prince, you will always be a prince," Zelda replied. “You can help your brother run the kingdom, go on trips, help him with the plans all kinds of things.”

“And you can be something else,” Ganondorf interjected. “Rinku is a princess and she goes out on adventures and fights monsters. You can travel all you want or stay at home, just do what you like.”

“What I like?” the prince asked

“Exactly-you can write books since you love to read. Or you can travel around learning about all the different plants in the world.” The king commented.

“Can I learn about the poisonous plants in the world too?” the prince asked.

Zelda winched a bit, “Where…did you learn about them from?”

“Ms. Isley told us in class about plants that defend themselves by making liquid so that when animals eat them, they can get sick or even die. Doesn’t that sound amazing?” The boy said awestruck.

“Ah yes, but those are very dangerous Ralnor. You have to be really careful or else you could get hurt too,” Zelda warned.

“I will be Mama, I promise,” Ralnor said.

Ganondorf sat down on the bed, creaking and slumping underneath his weight, “You know, Ralnor. I wager no matter what you choose. I know you are going to be great at it, even famous for it.”

“Really?” the boy smiled, pushing himself up.

“Yep, I bet someday there will be a day where there’ll be a crowd cheering your name.” The king picked up the boy, holding him up in the air. “I can just hear them now! ‘Ralnor!’ ‘Ralnor!’” he chanted as he bobbed the boy, now laughing.

“Ganondorf, it's bedtime," Zelda warned lightly. “No sense in winding him up.”

“Yes. Right.” The king slipped the boy back into the sheets and gave him a kiss on the head. “Goodnight Ralnor. I love you.”

"I love you too Papa. I love you, Mama. Night."

“Goodnight my love.” The queen cooed and kissed him on the forehead, patted his head.

The parents watched as their boy slowly dropped into his dreams. The king noticed the forlorn look in his wife’s eyes. “What?”

Zelda lamented, “It’s just…while I don’t have as many memories as you, I once do recall having an older brother. We got along well until my father confided in me about my relation to the goddess and how it would be my duty to keep the Triforce safe. When my father died and my brother assumed the throne, he wanted to know where it was, but I was hesitant to tell him. He persisted, even hiring a magician to torture me. Out of anger at my resistance, he cursed me into a deep sleep. The next thing, I know the hero was standing by my bed, smiling. That’s really all I remember from that life. I don’t recall if my brother and I ever made up or even met again, given how long I was asleep. I know that the duties between our sons won’t be like this, but I can imagine how Ralnor may become envious of the power and influence Covarog will have someday.”

Ganondorf let out a snort, “Well at least you didn’t have mothers, aunts, sisters, and cousins try to dump all political responsibility from the trade, guard, to visiting on you the moment you became of age so they could have fun. And while I did have a first-born daughter that eventually took my place, none of their sisters were pressured to be as like them.” He turned his wife towards him, hands in hers. “I know this uncertain ground for us, but I’m sure that we can raise Ralnor with all the love and attention he'll need. Eventually, he'll find something that will capture his attention, like Orana with animals or Kanisa with music, and any envy he'll have for his brother will fade in favor for passion in life pursuit.”

Zelda sighed and smiled, “Again you know what to say. Thank you so much, dear." She stood on her tip toes and reached around her husband’s neck. He eagerly bent down to close the distance and they kissed. After the embrace, the queen glanced between her husband and child.

“What?”

“Is just that…poisonous plants? That is what he finds interesting? I always wondered what side effects marrying a demon king could have and now I think I’m seeing the side effects.”

“Well I think I’ve seen some books on the subject in the library, so he can’t be the only one. Besides, I can’t take full responsibility here, there are some pretty shady teaching in Sheikah training."

Ralnor continued to sleep, oblivious to his parents’ chuckles and quips. Instead, he stood, as tall and big as his papa, in front of a huge crowd, spreading as far as he could see. And just like his papa said, they were all cheering his name. And Ralnor loved every moment of it.

Several miles away from the castle, a guard in armor yawned as he glanced at the papers in front of him. He glanced at the man in front of him. A short chubby, black-haired Hylian, dressed in a nice clean shirt, a leather vest embroidered with golden vines, and pants with boots. And then he glanced at the line of four carts trailing out behind this first man. “Seems like everything is in order,” he mumbled.

The merchant smiled, “Great! Thank you, sir, and hope you can get some sleep soon.” The man bowed and jumped up back into the cart behind him. He cracked the reins and his two horses pulled the cart slowly away.

The guard idly watched the next three carts: the first a thin man with blonde hair who smiled broadly, the second man muscular with brown hair who gave a nod, and finally a red-haired who barely looked older than a teenager who glanced but quickly turned back to the road in front of him. “Just a normal caravan,” the knight thought and headed into the station when the last cart caught his eye. Rather the large robed figure sitting at its bench, face obscured their hood, even in the low burning lamplight. The robe even covered their hands “Oi who are you?” he yelled out.

The figure flinched, halting the cart. “Me sir?” A deep woman’s voice answered.

“What are you hiding underneath that hood? Let me see.” The man stepped forward and started to reach for the fabric. The woman turned her head but didn't object or run.

“Hey why are you touching my sister!” the man leading the group hollered, just before the guard reached the hood.

“Sister?” the knight stated, glancing between the two. “What-”

“She’s got burns on her face! Check the papers, she’s with me!”

The knight grumbled, taking back his hand. He started to shift through the papers until he stopped at one. He squinted and read, “O-ko-wi?”

“Ukuri,” the woman replied. “Exotic name from an exotic mother.”

“See? Now let her go!” he hollered.

“Okay…okay yeesh! Sorry if hoods are suspicious!” the knight hollered and waved them away.

The woman sighed and cracked her reigns. For a while the group just traveled, the wheels squeaking and a few horses’ huffing the only sounds between the group. However, the first man turned around just in time for the lamp at the station to go dark. He called out, “Hey Ukuri! It’s safe now!”

The whole group let out a huge sigh. The woman flipped her hood back, revealing her brown skin, yellow eyes and a short crop of red hair. "Thanks, Mabal. You saved my life back there.”

“Finally go out with me on a date and we’ll call ourselves even,” the man yelled. Even with the distance, Ukuri could see the cheeky grin on the man’s face.

The blonde commented, "And afterward, the rest of us will have to pitch in for the doctor’s bills after she drives you crazy.”

"I agree with Jabok," the brunette laughed. “However, I think that the bills will be to fix his legs.”

"Well if she keeps turning me down, Kino, I'll end up at the doctor's with a broken heart!" Mabal exclaimed.

The three men laughed their heads off. The fourth man continued to shake and stare ahead.

Ukuri called out, “Hey Lobo, there’s nothing to be afraid of. I’m in now so relax.

The redhead sighed, "Sorry ma'am. I just didn't want anything to happen to you or Cass."

The woman smiled, “Aw! Aren’t you sweet? Good to see a few months on the road, you haven’t been completely corrupted.”

“Give us some more time!” Mabal called out. “You’ve been cuddling him under your wing, you’d think you were the boy’s mother. Speaking of kids, how’s our little mascot?”

"Well, she's…” Ukuri started as she turned to her cart. However, she spotted at the very end, a small red bump peeked out from underneath the tarp.

The Gerudo woman gave out a small chuckle. She turned away, and stated loudly, “Don’t worry. Cass is fast asleep like she should be since we have a big day setting up our booth tomorrow and not staying up late. And if she isn’t, she’s got to beat to all the rugs for everyone when we hit the road again.”

There was a small gasp and the bump retreated underneath the trap, slithering around. The sound of snoring quickly filled the air. However, just as the bump reached the end of the cart, right behind the woman, she pulled it up reveal a Gerudo girl, dressed in white pajamas on her hands and knees right above a small pile of furs.

“Whoopsie…” the girl let out with an awkward grin. “So…rug duty in like two months??”

“No…but don’t tempt me,” the woman scolded lightly. She offered a hand and the girl took it, helping herself up and into the seat.

“Sorry, mommy. I couldn’t sleep. I mean, we are here! In Hyrule!” Cass stated, arms out wide.

“So, what were you expecting staying up late-dragons and fairies flying overhead?” Kino asked.

"No…but that would be really cool," Cass admitted.

“True, especially with the profits we could make on all those scales," Mabal answered. “However, I think that Hyrule can be just like any other country we’ve been too. It’s got grass, trees, roads-nice ones I’ve got to admit, and plenty of customers.”

“Are you sure sir? I’ve heard stories,” Lobo started.

"About the golden goddess, the demon king, and the Hero of Time? Please, you think we'd be that lucky to be born in such a time?" Jabok commented.

“More like unlucky,” Ukuri huffed. She sighed then said loudly. “Let’s just keep our noses clean and our hands off the barmaids and this venture should be a nice profit for all of us.”

“We will if you will!” Jabok declared.

The whole group burst into laughter, clutching their sides and wiping some tears falling tears. The men soon continued on various conversations, mainly talking about various goods and hopeful customers.

As she tried to follow the talks, Cass leaned into her mother. She clung onto the woman’s body. She asked, looking down, “Do you think we’ll be safe here?”

The woman pulled the child closer, keeping her large hand on her shoulder. “We will be. Just keep smiling and keep out of trouble and we should be okay.” Ukuri moved Cass’s head to so she could look the child in the eye. “Okay?” The woman smiled.

Cass smiled and nodded, “Okay.”

Ukuri rubbed Cass’s head, “Come on, be confident! We’ve got the caravan and you’ve got me. And You’ll always have me, monkey.”

Cass yawned, rubbing her eyes. Ukuri moved the child so now she lay on her lap. “Sleep tight kiddo, we’ve got a long day tomorrow. Love you.”

“Love you too, mommy,” the little girl mumbled before snuggling into her mother’s thighs. After the child’s breathing slowed, Ukuri gazed turned to the horizon, a town with a large castle silhouetted by the moonlight, slowly coming into view. “We’ll be okay,” she mumbled to herself. She brushed the girl’s hair. “We’ll be okay.”

Thanks for reading! Here’s a link to the first chapter: Chapter 1: Marketplace

#fanfiction #my writing #zelgan #legend of zelda #zelda #ganondorf #ralnor #cass #covarog #orana #kanisa #tebanam #klinge #childhood romance au #casnor #please comment if you can #i'd love some questions too

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