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bookwyrminspiration · 6 months ago

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Hello Quil!

I am here to finally tell you about the book I mentioned before that I think you might like. I have essentially needed to obsess over this book for months because I have to write a very long essay about it, so I have a lot of thoughts and hopefully you will enjoy some of them.

The book is The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K Le Guin. You might have heard of it before, or maybe even read it, since I saw you reblogging a post about Le Guin a few months ago, but since you have not brought it up I’m just going to tell you about it and hope you will be interested! :)

To start, the book has this really interesting format where most of the chapters are the story narrated by the main characters, but every so often they’ll be a folktale from one of the cultures which relates to the story in an interesting way and really shows off the world building.

As for the plot, the book is about this guy called Genly Ai who’s a representative of “the Ekumen”, which is kind of like the UN but for space, and he’s trying to get these people on a planet called Gethen to join so they can all benefit from trade.

Two important things about Gethen:

It’s super cold there. A ton of the world is just ice sheets, and then there’s a small inhabitable section of land. This actually has some cool effects on their culture, like the fact that a ton of people use sledges, or that there’s literally dozens and dozens of words for different types and textures of snow (I thought you would like that part when I read it)

Almost everyone who lives there is androgynous. They don’t really have concepts of “opposite” sexes or genders except for animals, which are sexually dimorphic. So basically everyone is intersex and non-binary, which is pretty forward-thinking for a book written in 1969.

The gender thing is pretty interesting, but my favorite parts of the book were the politics and the interpersonal relationships. I don’t want to spoil too much of the book if you haven’t read it, but there’s a lot of interesting political intrigue bits and towards the end two characters form a really close relationship which was fascinating to read about.

Also this book just has really good world building. With the descriptions they gave I felt like it could actually be an alien world with its own culture and ways of life. All of the places had pretty awesome names, too.

I think one of my favorite parts about this book is the narration, though, because the way the narrator talks about stuff is actually kind of funny, without really trying to be? Like there’s this one point where he’s running away from a burning village but talks about it so nonchalantly that it took me a whole page to realize he was actually running away from a burning village? He’s also a really bad judge of character but you don’t realize this until like halfway through the book, at which point it sort of becomes dramatic irony and I found it kind of entertaining?

Also this book uses the misunderstanding trope in a way that actually makes a lot of sense and it’s very cathartic when the characters finally understand each other, so that’s awesome.

Anyway, I’ve been talking about this book for a while and I should probably wrap up but I guess I’ve just had a lot of thoughts, which makes sense given that I’ve had to think about a book that I actually love for months for a school assignment. I hope you read this book and enjoy it!

I’m doing well (just helped to crowdsource a speech and I’m now on a not-field-trip and listening to random acoustic performances.) I hope you’re having a good day too!

- Amethyst

Hello Amethyst!! This is actually a little wild, because while I haven’t read the book myself, I have already (fairly recently) received an incredibly enthusiastic endorsement for the book from a classmate and I’ve read a short story set in its world about kemmer (i forget how to spell it). My fantasy class read it for gender week!

I’m always a sucker for worldbuilding, though. love hard/high fantasy. the more complex and confusing, the more I fall in love. i want to know the methods and frequency of food transportation across and between countries <33

I gotta admit though, I do think when I get around to it that the planet being named Gethen will throw me off for a little bit. I’ll just keep thinking of a cryptic blond guy in spandex jogger shorts. but!! you’re absolutely right I do love the language detail! reminds me of a project i did once that (anecdotally) showed how the vocabulary of a language reflects its location/culture.

okay, I went to find the title of the piece I read. it’s called “coming of age in karhide” by sov thade tage em ereb, of rer, in karhide, on gethen. so I am familiar, at least through that, of kinda how the gender and sex work on gethen! though I didn’t understand that in karhide on gethen part of the subtitle until now, since I didn’t know gethen was a planet. and I agree it’s quite fascinating. apparently the inspiration for creating the system was because le guin wanted to be able to write the sentence “the king was pregnant.” and while there are easier ways to get there (transgenderism), she did achieve that.

political intrigue!! love when we get to explore the political systems of the fantasy cultures and they have impact on the story. though sometimes it can get overbearing. there’s a balance, as with everything. side note: love the incorporation of politics in the lady trend memoirs. they’re tied to everything because the structure of the world shapes how you can act and move in it, but it doesn’t overtake the mc’s passions and focuses.

and of course the funny narrator is always a bonus. especially when its done well. i read a book the other day called the similars that had a pretty classic teenage nihilism kind of humor, and it wasn’t great (the book as a whole, but I knew that going in), but it was startling in a fun way to get to like page two and see, “Grasping for some semblance of order, I began naming my different moods. For example: ‘A Zombie Just Ate My Body,’ which is like being frostbitten and stun-gunner and about 94 percent dead inside. At least that one is bearable, unlike ‘Get That Serrated Knife Out Of My Chest,’ which is as painful as it sounds.”

ough the misunderstanding/miscommunication trope, the bane of my existence. it can be done really well, it just can also be done really really bad and when it’s bad? infuriating. being misunderstood/misjudged is one of my least favorite things irl. i don’t know why, it just sets off this like visceral frustration and need to correct it

anyway! i fully intend to read this book someday! I actually had meant to pick it up a few months ago, but it wasn’t where it should’ve been at the bookstore, and I was sneaking in a trip between other things to pick up a specific book for my dad’s birthday, so I didn’t have time to stop and look more thoroughly unfortunately.

i’m glad you’re doing well! i’m like a week late on this one, but i’m also alright--officially done with the semester. which is nice because no more schoolwork for a while. but also weird because I. am a very well trained worker who now needs to figure out what to do with myself in the absence of assignments. i’ve just been reading so far, but i’ll have to figure something out or i’ll lose my mind a little :)

#submission #quil's queries #amethyst nonsie #long post #the left hand of darkness #my instructor for that fantasy class is lovely however during gender week she was like man #i'm really surprised you guys aren't talking more about this not having a gender and switching sexes thing!#this fucking with gender!#and I said. [name] this is just a typical tuesday for us (class was actually on tuesdays)#like look around half the class is visibly queer. genderfuckery is just how we live #(she was not at all malicious or anything about it. just was a little oh yeah I guess so moment for her I think)#anyway

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total-serene560 · 1 year ago

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❤️ 🎁💡for the writer asks <3

❤️: oh man, across ALL my WIPs?? And just one line? That's a really hard decision tbh. I'd probably say this one from ASE:

The ground started rumbling as his eyes finally focused on the yellow road paint that cut a straight line between his hands, bisecting his body into left and right segments as he tried to make sense of the fact that his hands looked perfectly fine.

🎁: Okay, since I did ASE for WIP wednesday (and I really don’t want to spoil anything on accident, as much as I know people would probably love that) I'm gonna post one of my FAVORITE non-ST wips I've been working on since 2022 (it's a rewrite/rework of a Fallout 4 fic I wrote when I was 19-20):

(This entire scene is actually one of the best things I’ve ever written, imo.)

💡: I have approximately 3 WIPs I am actively working on/outlining at the moment. Outside of that, there's probably a good 30 of them that will probably never see the light of day, but we’ll see. And just because I feel like writing a lot tonight, I’ll give some more info on those active WIPs!

The three active WIPs are:

a strange education (reach out and touch me): My most active project atm, angsty mystery horror time travel with romantic elements set in a post-ST season 3 AU. Probably the most original idea for a fic I’ve ever had and I’m obsessed with it. Mike dies in 1987, but finds himself suddenly waking up in the middle of a highway in 1990.

I can't keep myself together: In the outlining stages bc I keep changing my mind on important plot points, it's an idea I've had since last year too. It's a bit similar to yours in some ways actually (deals with addiction, reconnection, is set in the early 2000’s). Post-after ST ends (so definitely not gonna be canon compliant with ST5). Mike moves back in with his mom after getting out of rehab after almost drinking himself to death during the week of his dad’s funeral, and is forced to deal head on with a past he’s been running away from for years when he finds out that Will also moved back to Hawkins to take care of Joyce, who had a recent lung cancer diagnosis.

Unnamed Fallout Story (title in the works): this one has been fully outlined and has about 47,000 words (11 chapters) fully written for it that I need to edit. I did it for nanowrimo last year, it’s a rewrite/rework of my 2020 fic Source Decay (which I actively want to delete sometimes bc I don’t like the flow and everyone is out of character. It was my first time back in the game in a LONG time so it was BAD, I didn’t even have an outline 😭). It’s set in Fallout 4, canon-divergent. Piper helps an injured woman to a doctor and gets involved in much more than she bargained for when she gets curious to find out the whole story of where she came from and why.

#ask game #my asks #my posts

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williamransom · 6 years ago

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i have been wanting to change my url and i know to what (on my other blog), and yet i cannot seem to do it. i am just too anxious.

i am worried people will stop liking me/get mad at me.

it is dumb. i guess i am just worried about people judging me for liking that character which is so stupid. i mean yes he seems to be pretty well hated within fandom, but at the same time there is nothing wrong with me liking him. that isn’t the sort of thing that makes me terrible.

even if the character were a terrible irredeemable asshole i would still be allowed to like him and have his name as a url, bc it is a fictional character and there is nothing wrong with liking one. But that isn’t even the case (i mean some people act like that, and in general he is not liked for many reasons one of which is that he and especially his anger and weird moods are exhausting.) but it is not like i am going around saying he is perfect and has no flaws, and also being angry and somewhat emotionally unstable are not things that mean someone is “bad” (i mean it can exhibit in ways that are bad and people are capable of doing shitty things, which is bad, but simply being angry or unstable is not something that makes someone bad or mean)

anyways i am so so anxious about people hating me for this and it is so stupid. i shouldn’t have to worry that everyone will suddenly stop liking me bc of which fictional characters i like/care about (especially in a series where uhm... pretty much everyone does some awful and questionable things that we are supposed to see as cool and healthy, instead of utterly horrible)

anyway the point of this ramble is that i should just change my url and make all the posts that i want about how much i like william as a character and sympathise with him, and i shouldn’t have to feel bad about it

#like i know that my issue w it specifically is bc some complaints are about how priviliged/spoilt he is #(and like the spoiled is bs. yes he grew up v spoiled the first five/six years. this is a plot point. it had a negative effect on him at tha #t time but it stopped and he definitely no longer comes across as spoiled)#but yes he is without a doubt the most priviliged person in the entire series and i still find it amusing on a level #when he was freaking out about his dumb mistake having ruined his military career #(bc first of all you can do literally anything you want without a problem. anything. any country you want to go to. any profession you #want to follow. probably pretty much any woman you want to marry (at least before he finds out he is a bastard).#second of all especially in the military you should have zero problems. comissions tend to be bought and you are so so rich.#and your step family has so much influence. buddy you are literally used at some point bc of who your dad is and the fact that #john knows a lot of people and is v well liked and respected #also your uncle literally has his own regiment #they both know so many people and have so much influence #your entire step family is military and so is almost everyone they know #like he would have to fuck up really bad to ruin his chances there #so he definitely is super privileged but i don't really see how that makes him a bad/uninteresting character?#or how that means i am not allowed to like him #which is basically what i struggle with #which i am aware is dumb but anxiety is a thing #anyways sorry this got long #but pushing myself to post things like this is important #bc the amount of shame i feel is ridiculous

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braiawrites · 4 years ago

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Lost & Found - Chapter 3

Summary: A messenger fills Jude and Madoc in on important news. Jude and the cat pay a visit to the palace. || Inspired by this prompt by @newblood-freya

Words: 3188

Rating: T

Warnings: Brief description of a murder in the first section.

Links:

Fic Masterlist

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER FOUR

Prompt by newblood-freya

Read it on AO3

Writing Masterlist

Send me an ask!

A/N: So I thought writing a multi-chapter would be much easier once I had a solid plot laid out but when I tell you I was dragging words out by my teeth—yeah, I'm not super happy with this chapter but it's here and technically I had it finished in time, just not posted so uh. Good for me? Yeah I'll shut up now, here's chapter 3.

***

Dead. One of the princes was dead.

Jude stood stock still for a long moment, the shock on her face palpable as the words echoed in her mind.

Prince Dain was dead. Did that mean Cardan was, too?

Finally, she swallowed and took a shaky breath. “Prince Dain is dead?"

“Did you not know?” Madoc’s voice was heavy, his eyes sharp.

“No,” Jude gasped. “No, I–no. I thought this was about Cardan. I thought—I don’t know what, exactly, but not this.”

Madoc ran a large hand over his jaw, and then—

“Sit.” He gestured to one of the chairs set along the wall. “You might as well stay to hear the rest.”

She nodded numbly, hesitating before turning to the chair. The cat was standing next to her, black fur fluffed up and small body trembling, his eyes fixed on her foster father. He seemed as horrified as she felt.

“Your guest can stay as well,” Madoc said, tilting his head curiously at the cat. “We will talk about keeping pets later.”

With a nod, she scooped him up as she moved to sit down, tucking the trembling form into herself. She wanted to murmur comforts into his soft black fluff—as much for him as for herself, she suspected—but with Madoc and the messenger looking on, she settled for soothingly stroking the length of his back.

Madoc turned his attention to the messenger boy. “Report,” he instructed, like the boy were one of his soldiers.

He certainly reacted like one, his spine straightening and his chin lifting as he snapped his liquid gaze up to Madoc’s.

Jude didn’t blame him. The old redcap could have that effect.

“Prince Dain never returned to his quarters yesterday,” the imp said. “He was found by a librarian this evening in the royal lineage section, propped against the shelf and—” the imp paused, looking slightly sick, “and with his throat slit.”

“Any other injuries?” Madoc’s voice was cool and steady, as though he were asking about the weather, not the murder of a prince.

“I didn’t—I don’t know, sir. I didn’t see the body.”

At the general’s displeased grunt, the boy rushed to add, “But—at the time of my departure, they were just going to fetch a royal physician. They’ll have the report by now, I’m sure.”

“Hmph,” Madoc responded. “I’ll just have to go and find out for myself. Dismissed.”

As the imp bowed and turned to leave, Jude found herself blurting, “Wait!” the word coming out before she had a chance to think better of it.

The imp halted, glancing first at Madoc, who shrugged, and then at her.

“What about Prince Cardan?” she asked. “Has there been any news of him?”

The cat on her lap stirred slightly, his paws kneading into her legs at the mention of the disfavoured prince’s name.

“Not to my knowledge,” the boy said, shaking his head, and Jude felt her heart drop.

She nodded her thanks as the messenger bowed again and left, not trusting herself to speak through the tightening of her throat or the worry washing through her. For all he’d done to her, for all that he was her worst enemy, she never would have wished him dead.

Madoc’s commanding rumble broke through her fear. “Go and have the stablehands prepare me a mount,” he said. His eyes glared into hers as he repeated, “One mount.”

“I’m not—” Jude started, her fists clenching, but she swallowed her protest. There was no point in saying anything—he’d already made it clear that he wouldn’t allow her to come.

“Fine,” she said instead, and gathered her cat up as she left.

~ ~ ~

Jude did not go to the stables, but instead marched straight to her room, the heels of her boots clicking on the wooden floors. She caught a servant along the way to demand a mount be made ready for Madoc, and then set about preparing for her own trip to the palace.

As she strapped her sword belt to her waist and hid daggers under her sleeves, she kept glancing sidelong at the little cat pacing her floor. His tail lashed viciously with each step, his eyes bright. He must sense her own agitation.

“I’m sorry,” she told him. “I’m just worried. But I’m not staying home until Madoc brings word. For all I know, he’ll leave out all of the most important details to keep me from getting involved.” She scowled. “I’m not a child anymore. And I’m going to find out what happened to Cardan.”

The cat meowed and when she glanced over he met her eyes full on with his own amber bright glare. She could have sworn he’d sounded annoyed as she glared back at him, trying not to let her unnerve show. It wasn’t natural how human he seemed sometimes.

With a deep, steadying breath, she strapped the last sheath to her thigh and double checked the blade before sliding it into place.

She glanced at her cat again. “Are you coming?”

He mewed and clambered up her clothes, his claws pricking her skin.

“I swear you do that on purpose,” she grumbled as she checked out her window.

In the distance, Madoc was galloping astride a dark horse, almost at the edge of the Milkwood. By the time she had a mount saddled, he would be too far ahead to notice her.

With the cat slunk over her shoulders like a warm scarf, she made her way down to the stables and chose a light-footed creature reminiscent of a reindeer with glassy eyes and long fangs on either side of its mouth.

She made good time through the woods, her mount swift and smooth as it dodged trees and leapt fallen logs. The cat perched on the saddle before her, little face upturned in the wind, eyes slitted in pleasure, and Jude would have joined him had there not been a knot in her stomach at the possibility of Cardan being dead.

When the palace of Elfhame came into view, she pulled her mount to a stop and left it to graze out of view. Though it would have been quicker, coming careening up to the castle on the back of a fanged reindeer would be far from inconspicuous.

She continued on foot, the cat riding on her shoulders once again until they neared the base of the hill where the entrance was hidden by humming magic.

Two guards stood watch today, a precaution to keep unwanted visitors out after the news of Prince Dain’s murder. She had planned to enter quietly, but that may be impossible now.

As Jude drew closer, the guards moved in unison, drawing their weapons.

“What business do you have at the palace?" the taller of the two asked.

Jude lifted her chin and squared her shoulders. “I’m here with General Madoc,” she declared, to which the shorter guard snickered.

“Sure you are, mortal.”

The taller one shook her head. “The general specifically stated that he came alone.”

Jude fought the urge to clench her fists as the guards remained unmoving. “I need to see him,” she tried, “it’s important.”

“There’s nothing we can do about that,” the short guard drawled. “No one’s allowed in or out without explicit orders.”

The taller one shrugged apologetically. “Sorry. We can take a message, if you like.”

Jude shook her head, already turning away with a mumbled excuse, when her cat leapt off her shoulder and disappeared into the hill.

“Hey!” she called after him, moving to follow, but the guards stepped in front of her.

“You can’t go in.”

“But my cat—”

“You live in the general’s household?” the taller guard asked.

“Yes.”

“We’ll make sure the cat gets sent back with him if we see it again.”

She ground her teeth but nodded. “Fine. Guess I’m leaving then.”

“Guess you are,” the shorter guard challenged.

She fought the urge to say something smart back, or draw her sword on him, and instead walked around the hill.

“Where are you going now?” one of the guards called.

Nosy, she thought, but yelled back, “Visiting a friend,” and rounded the base of the hill until she was out of their view.

There had to be another way in, and so long as there was one, she would find it. She paced a half circle around the side of the hill opposite the guards, searching for another illusioned entrance or tunnel, a servants’ door—nothing.

Jude was just about to give up when she heard a triumphant, “Mrrrow!” from somewhere above. It was her cat, his little black head poking out an open window halfway up the hill.

“You genius little kitty!” she praised him, jogging up the sloping earth and climbing through the round window. As she eased the wood-bordered glass pane shut again, she whispered, “I didn’t even know these opened.”

The cat purred, looking decidedly smug, and Jude marvelled again at his strangeness.

“You don’t happen to know the way to the dungeons too, do you?” she asked, half jokingly.

He chirped and wound around her leg before trotting out of the room.

~ ~ ~

Jude entered the dungeons on quiet feet, trailing after the little black cat. The moment his paws touched the cold stone he yelped and leapt back onto her shoulders, his claws digging in.

“Spoiled rotten,” she accused him. “You have twice as many legs as me, you know. If anything you should be the one doing the carrying.”

She could have sworn he stuck his tongue out at her in response, or maybe it was just a coincidence, so she blew in his face.

The dungeon was mostly empty, with the few cells that were filled being deeper down. She supposed crimes weren’t oft committed in a land were a forceful promise was binding. Or, Jude thought as her eyes caught on an executioner’s sword mounted on the wall, maybe there was a darker reason.

She tried not to shiver in the damp air as she stalked past rows of cells, her eyes scanning the shadows for a pixie girl in a gown fit for a revel.

When at last she stopped before a small figure in a dirty gown, the cat sprung from her shoulders to stand, hissing and hackles raised, before the bars.

Behind the bars, the pixie sat up from where she was lounging on her straw palette, a laugh spilling from her lips, bitter and grating to Jude’s ears.

“Well, hello again,” the prisoner smirked, ruby red eyes flashing in the low light. “It looks like you came back to find me. You miss me that much?”

Jude tried to hide the confusion swirling inside her as she picked up her yowling cat. “We’ve never met,” she stated, to which the pixie laughed again.

“Not everything’s about you, love.” Her eyes locked on the cat as she jerked her chin at it. “Cat bring you here?”

Jude frowned. “Leave him out of it.”

“Alright, if you insist,” she shrugged. “So what do you want? Because as much as I’d like to think you came just to visit, I find it hard to believe you would appreciate my company so much—especially since we’ve never met.”

Jude shifted. She hadn’t thought about what she was going to actually say once she got here—ask nicely for the return of the prince? Grab the prisoner through the bars and shake her? Instead, Jude steeled herself and dove straight in, barrelling through both tact and diplomacy in one fell swoop.

“I have questions.”

“And what makes you think I have answers?”

“I already know you’re connected to Cardan’s disappearance,” she said, stepping closer, “and you’re going to tell me where he is.”

“Oh?” Red brows lifted over honey gold skin as the prisoner regarded Jude with some interest. “Am I now?”

“Yes, you are.” Jude ground the words out through gritted teeth, resisting the urge to lay her hand on her sword hilt as the pixie seemingly considered her options. Finally, she leaned back on her straw palette like it was the most comfortable bed in the world.

“No.” Her tone was flat, void of emotion, but there was a flicker of something—anger? Regret?—behind her eyes.

“I’m not asking,” Jude said, meeting the pixie’s glare.

“Oh, but I think you are. What else are you going to do? Threaten me? I’m already behind bars, darling, and you snuck in here. As soon as I called for a guard, you’d have to run, or risk being caught.”

Jude thought about bluffing or lying her way out of the trap, but curiosity got the better of her.

“How did you know I snuck in?”

“I didn’t, for sure, until just now,” the pixie responded, and Jude cursed herself for her stupidity. “I’d guessed it, because you have no uniform and no keys, and because no one ever enters from that direction.” She gestured down the hall where Jude had come from minutes prior. “And because the castle already came to see me today.”

At Jude’s frown, the girl elaborated with a roll of her eyes.

“They come down here every single day to ask me if I’m ready to tell them what I did with our dearest Prince Cardan, and every single day I tell them no, I’m not ready, I’m still literally unable to talk about anything I’ve done EVEN IF I WANTED TO, because I’m under a damn OATH!”

She threw her hands up in frustration before covering her face with her arms, huffing a sigh before continuing. “And then they walk away and tell me well then, no food until you’re ready to talk, and I always scream my worst insults at them as they leave, which I have to admit makes me feel just a teeny bit better.”

She sat up and met Jude’s eyes with a shrug. “I mean, it’s not nice of me, but I think I deserve it after all this.” She gestured to the mildew damp walls and bounced a bit on the creaky bed.

A pang of sympathy wormed its way into Jude’s heart, but she shut it out.

“How are you not dead?” she asked. “You have to have said something or you’d have starved by now.”

The girl laughed again. “Oh, but that’s the beauty of it! See, this cell is enchanted specially by High King Eldred himself.” Her eyes flashed and her smile faltered, so momentarily Jude could almost have been convinced it didn’t happen. Almost.

“Once you step inside, you can feel as hungry or as thirsty as you like, but you’ll never die from it. It’s a special kind of torture,” the pixie grimaced.

Jude swallowed the pity rising in her throat and lifted her chin. “Well, you probably deserved it. You’re a murderer afterall.”

“I—” the girl began to protest, but she stopped before she could say anymore. A moment passed before she coughed.

“Like I said, I can’t tell you anything about what I’ve done, but I can tell you that if I had been given a choice, I wouldn’t have gone after Cardan.”

“And Dain?”

“Dain?” the pixie echoed. “What about him?”

“They found him murdered this evening. Did you go after him?”

“What?” If the look of utter shock on the pixie’s face hadn’t convinced Jude, her next words did: “I didn’t kill Dain. You know I can’t lie, so you believe me, right? You know I’m telling the truth.”

Slowly, Jude nodded. “I believe you.”

“Listen: I can’t tell you what I did to Cardan, or why, or who I work for, but I can tell you this,” the pixie said, moving to stand by the bars.

“Desires sometimes take unexpected forms, but chasing them does no good when they’re already within your grasp. Cardan is closer than you think, but there is a power that will always hunger, and if you don’t stop it soon, it’ll devour not only your prince, but the rest of Faerie as well.”

Silence fell over the jail like a blanket, disturbed only by the drip, drip, drip of water.

Finally, the prisoner raised red brows. “So?”

“Thank you so much, that was so helpful and I now know everything,” Jude declared flatly.

The pixie girl sighed and propped her fists on the soiled waist of her gown. “You can be sarcastic all you want, babe, but I swear, that was as much as I can tell you—you know, binding oath and all? I mean, have you not been listening this entire conversation?”

The cat on her shoulder mewed and Jude glared at him sidelong.

“Whose side are you on?” she huffed, to which he meowed again and lashed his tail.

“Alright, fine.” Jude pressed her lips into a thin line as she turned back to face the girl in the cell. “I’ll figure it out myself.”

With the cat on her shoulder, Jude stalked out of the palace the same way she’d come in.

~ ~ ~

Cardan sat on the windowsill of Jude’s room, watching as the sun began to creep above the horizon, painting the sky in the golden light of dawn. Behind him, Jude was deep in slumber, snoring softly into her pillow, but with everything that had happened today, he couldn’t sleep.

Dain was gone and the palace was in shambles—he’d seen as much when he’d slipped inside. Guards had been everywhere, servants carrying cleaning supplies milled about, and curious courtiers had drifted through the halls, trying to catch a glimpse of what had happened.

When he’d passed by the library, Cardan had paused, resisting the urge to enter. When he breathed in, he’d nearly vomited.

Scents were much stronger to his cat nose, and through the must of old books and scrolls, beneath the scent of centuries of dust, he had smelled the cooling blood of his brother as it seeped into the carpets. It had taken all his willpower not to collapse in his sorrow.

The blankets rustled from inside the room and Jude’s groggy voice reached his ears.

“Kitty? What’re you doin’?”

He glanced at her over his shoulder and gave her a soft mrrm of amusement. Her hair was escaping its braid and dried drool had left a trail down her cheek.

“Come here, kitty,” she crooned, patting the blankets, and Cardan complied, slinking across the room to curl up in the curve of her arm.

Jude’s fingers played in the fluff around his neck and he couldn’t help but purr into the silence. He’d always been disgusted by how much he craved her touch, but he’d discovered of late that her fingers scratching his jaw or playing with his fur was one of his favourite things. He blamed Pellia’s cat curse.

They stayed that way for a long while, Jude stroking his fluff and his purrs warming the ever-lightening room.

When he twisted his face up to look at her, she brushed a kiss to his nose before settling into her pillows and pulling him closer. If cats could blush, he would have been bright pink.

“Sleep tight, kitty,” Jude whispered. “You’re safe here.”

And Cardan knew she was right.

***

A/N: Hello, loves! Thanks for reading and I hope you liked it!! I'm sorry this was a bit late, as I said earlier I struggled with this chapter so much. Thank you all so much for your support though, reading your lovely comments was a big motivation to get this chapter written, and I can say with absolute certainty that I would have given up long ago if it weren't for your kind feedback. I'm sending lots of love to all of you!

(PS: Please let me know if you’d like to be added to or removed from my tag list!)

Tagging: @stardustsroses @nahthanks @jurdanhell @my-one-true-l @thefolkofthefic @greenbriarxrose @bookavert @queen-of-demons-and-hell @theviolettulip @lysandra-ghost-leopard @playlistmusings @localgoof @garnet-babe @iamaprincessallgirlsare

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vampiricfruitcake · 14 days ago

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I finished it a couple of days ago, and played the born from a wish sub scenario too. I'll have a long more in depth opinion under cut (not entirely spoiler free) ->

In the end i kind of regret having action on easy, because it was super easy. Then again I'm there for the plot and don't like struggling to move along, only exception being puzzles, they don't stress me out the way battling in survival horror games does.

Playing the game I didn't very much like the amount of broken doors, dead ends etc. I know there always is some and it's fine. But there's a line between enough and just way too much. After ~13 hours I learned that L2 moves the camera so that resolved my issues with not seeing anything. However I was already nearing the final bosses at that point but hey, next run I'll be able to see!

I did very much enjoy the variety of puzzles in the game. Nothing groundbreaking but a couple of them did catch me by surprise. Like the amount of locks on the box in the hospital... The prisoner/hanged men puzzle was fun too.

Was going to say that i also liked how the game didn't much rely on jumpscares - and i mean it could be so much worse - but there were some that almost caused my heart to jump out my throat. I guess that's on me for getting scared so easily. Most of the times i could see/feel things coming and had a few seconds to prepare. Mostly walking through the game also helped. I think I ran only if i already knew the way, and was sure that nothing would jump at me along it :D

I played Silent Hill 3 & 4 using a walkthrough, to check ahead so I won't scare so easily, so I'm proud to say that I played this one blind. In the sense of enemies and items, i did check a couple of times that i won't lock myself out on anything important.

The plot I enjoyed the most, being the story driven person that I am. I'm so happy I wasn't spoiled about the true fate of Mary, or mostly anything about the plot. I didn't initially even know the premise was that Mary was dead :D so that was my first "OH" moment in the game. The freaking opening scene. On the top of my head I don't have any complaints about the plot. It was horrible and sad but understandable. Kind of a Bloodborne thematic, where people are the actual evil and torment themselves and others. Though that's been the drill with all the titles of SH. Either way it's a point of view I enjoy exploring because it's true. In all the fantasticness the issues dealt with in the games are very realistic and for that reason touching deep. Comparing the plot with for example SH3 it's interesting how different stories can be written about the same setting. SH3 being a story of a cult and godly themes and SH2 being basically a murder investigation and dealing with human emotions. Very down to earth.

Oh and I got the In water ending, so my opinions are based on that. I'll play through again to get the others later.

The born from a wish sub scenario was a very short but interesting glimpse inside the other side - Maria's existence and headspace. And a tiny bit of Silent Hill itself. It does help flesh out Maria's character more as an actual being. In the main game she does feel a bit hollow when we can't really hear her side of things.

Overall I very much enjoyed the game and will do a ng+ soon. I can't put the titles 2,3,4 into a ranking yet. They all had different things and frankly a completely different setup. I'll have to replay them all to visit other endings. (And I'm aware SH1 relates to SH3 and it's on my to do list - just haven't been able to put myself through it yet. The controls were horrid.)

Been (finally) playing og silent hill 2 after playing 3 and 4 last year. What chronology ... But I've been enjoying it so far. Keeping action as easy but doing riddles on normal, so far haven't been stuck on any of them. I'm wondering if the hard ones would be more my level but eh, maybe later. Just finished the prison/catacombs section and I'm excited to march on

#silent hill #silent hill 2 #review #games #personal

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matthewtkachuk · 4 years ago

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how to be a heartbreaker: rule two - rafe cameron

Rafe Cameron’s privileged upbringing has let him get away with far too much, for far too long. Between his tormenting of the pogues, running his mouth without consequence, and arrogant attitude, it’s time someone knocked him down a peg. Breaking his bones didn’t work, but maybe you can break his heart.

co-authored with my love, freya @rekrappeter

pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader, unrequited!JJ x reader

warnings: angst, starting a relationship under false pretences, drinking and drug use

word count: 5.2k (sorry not sorry there’s a lot of plot here my dudes)

a/n: here’s rule two, let us now what you think!! low key we finished writing this badboy this morning (freya’s evening lol)

“Okay, that seems relatively easy…” you hummed, your elbows rested on your knees as you held onto every word JJ spoke. An underlying unsureness hung over your voice, and judging the expressions on Kiara and Pope’s face, you knew you weren’t alone in thinking that this wouldn’t work. John B backed everything that JJ said up with an example, somethings made sense but the majority of what they brought up was lightyears away from real life. They were living in their own fantasy world.

“And that’s just rule one,” JJ announced, causing you to cover a groan with a fake cough, “It’s almost the most important rule, you have to make a good impression. You need to be seductive, sexy-”

Kie interrupted JJ, “What’s the most important rule?”

“Rule number five,” he smirked.

If you weren’t confused beforehand, you definitely were now. “Which is?”

“We’ll get to that one later, be patient.” You huffed at JJ’s dismissal.

Pope stood up from the couch, stretching his arms above his head. “Are you actually going to take part in this?” His eyes were focused on you, ignoring JJ’s arguments.

You shrugged your shoulders, feeling the heavy stare of your friends on you. “What do I have to lose?” JJ praised you for your answer, earning a glare from Pope but that didn’t shut him up. “Pope, it’ll be exciting. It’ll be something for us all to do together and focus on.”

“We’re not the ones that are going to have to be alone with Rafe Cameron,” your friend muttered, you gave him a soft smile, appreciating how caring he was towards you. Despite always being associated with JJ and being his best friend, you and Pope had a relationship like none of the other pogues. He wasn’t just one of your closest friends, you would classify him as a ‘brother from another mother’. He cared immensely about you, and you cared for him just as much. You both pushed each other to thrive and be the best possible version of you, he had your back through thick and thin.

He was also the only one that knew about your hidden feelings towards JJ. He picked up on them one night, when you were giggling at a stupid joke the blonde had said and how the carefree and outgoing version of you disappeared when you noticed JJ getting intimate with some random girl later on that night. But he promised to keep it a secret, and so he did, he constantly supported you and let you rant and rave about it whenever you needed to. He was a breath of fresh air.

“Rafe Cameron never did anything to me personally, he leaves me alone when y’all aren’t with me,” you said, leaning back on the couch.

“Can we stop calling him Rafe Cameron? We only know one Rafe,” Kie chuckled, running her fingers through her tangled dark hair.

“Can we move on please? It’s getting late,” JJ informed the group, everyone’s attention leaving you and turning to the tall boy.

“You’d make a great teacher, JJ,” you hummed, your heart jumping at the smirk he sent you.

“Rule number two: have fun, but be the first to run.”

Three days pass by since you spoke to Rafe at the boneyard and if it weren’t for JJ pestering you every chance he got about it, you wouldn’t have noticed how many days went by. But your best friend was adamant on putting this plan into motion quickly, you tried to argue with him that you didn’t want to come across as desperate but he wouldn’t listen. The ending events of that night were history; you woke up the next morning and JJ acted like nothing happened, treating you how he usually would.

There was no point in arguing with him or holding a grudge, it was something you were used to at this stage in your friendship. JJ Maybank never did know how to express his feelings properly, unless it was with his fist. When you fought, he would mutter a quick apology and move on from it, never dwelling on the aftermath his words or actions made you feel. You pushed those feelings to the back of your mind, putting a smile on your face and moving on. It’s what you were best at.

A quick knock on the changing room door interrupted your thoughts, rolling your eyes as JJ opened the door anyways, not even waiting for you to answer. “Please tell me what’s the point in knocking?” you snapped playfully, buttoning up your white blouse, ignoring the flushed feeling you felt when his eyes lingered on your exposed breast.

JJ shrugged, throwing his bowtie at you and leaning against the wall, he waited patiently for you to finish getting ready. He was dressed similarly to you; your work outfits clashing except instead of the black, tight skirt you were wearing, his legs were covered with crinkled slacks. You were the one that managed to get JJ a job at the island club, your boss was reluctant to hire a known thief but you pleaded and begged, promising to keep him in line. So far, JJ has behaved himself, only missing one or two shifts.

When you finished getting ready, ensuring that your makeup was touched up and your hair was neat, you picked JJ’s bowtie off the floor and gestured to him to come over to you. You lifted it over his head, ignoring the butterflies that swarmed your stomach when he stepped into your personal space and placed his hands on your hips. “Tell me why I took this extra shift,” you cried, trying to separate your mind from your body.

JJ’s blue eyes scanned your face and you avoided looking into them, your focus solely on your fingers trying the material around his neck. “Because we need the money, plus you love working shifts with me.” JJ grinned exposing his slightly crooked teeth.

You pucker your lips, pretending to be deep in thought, “You’re right, I do need the money.”

JJ swatted your hands away from him, turning to look in the floor length mirror in the female changing room. You couldn’t help but look at your figures next to one another, you suited each other. JJ’s eyes connected with yours through the mirror, “I also peeked at the guest list, we’ll be able to work on the plan tonight.”

“Rafe will be here?” you asked.

“Rafe and his goons, so if I’m missing for more than ten minutes, come look for me.” He winked, running his fingers through his blonde locks to try tame it to some extent.

“JJ,” you sighed, reaching for his arm but he took a step back, out of your reach.

“I’m kidding,” he chuckled, but the smile on his face didn’t reach his eyes, “I’ll be fine, I can handle myself.”

“But it’s always three on one, and it never works in your benefit.”

This time JJ did smile, his blue eyes twinkling and he stepped closer to you, placing his hands on either of your shoulders. “But we have a secret weapon this time around, they’re not going to see this coming, y/n.” JJ referring to you as his secret weapon sent an unwanted chill through your skin, making you look away from his intense eyes. “Come on, let’s get the party started.”

Precariously balancing four whiskey neat on a flimsy tray while also balancing on your unsteady feet strapped into four inch heels was not an easy feat. It was even more difficult when coupled with the harassment you received as a pogue in kook territory. The only thing that kept the polite smile on your face as you suffered through backhanded compliment after backhanded compliment was the knowledge that a sweet payday was waiting for you at the end of the shift. You hated the Island Club and every stupid, perfect, spoiled person in it, but you made more in one shift than you did your other two jobs combined.

The spoiled Island Club member you hated the most though, hands down, was Rafe Cameron. Despite never targeting you personally, you couldn’t forgive the numerous times your boys had suffered at the hands of Rafe and his cronies. Unfortunately, you also found him attractive, discreetly staring at the way his golf shirt accentuated the muscles in his arms, and the way his tight pants accentuated his ass, every time you passed by. Some baser instinct within you had you considering what it would be like to squeeze his ass, and the distracting, intrusive thought made you miss the step leading to the greens. Your heart fell into your throat as you felt yourself lose your balance, your other hand rising to attempt to steady the tray but it was hopeless as you started to tumble to the ground. As you braced for impact, the tray was lifted from your arms and a steadying hand on your waist kept you from eating dirt.

Your heart pounding in your chest, you looked up to thank your rescuer, the words dying on your lips before you could utter them as Rafe Cameron himself stood there staring back at you. For a moment you were lost in his blue orbs, every intrusive thought you had washing over you until his mouth opened and he spoke, “You alright there?”

Staring at him for a moment longer, you blinked twice and shook your head in confirmation, “Yeah, thanks for that.” You smoothed down the front of your shirt, Rafe’s eyes following the movement of your hands, before you reached for your tray again, “Sorry, duty calls.”

As you went to move past him, heart pounding in your throat, he called out, “Wait,”. You spun around to stare at him, confusion in your eyes. He scanned the crowd for a split second, his eyes landing on your figure again. “Do you maybe want to get out of here?”

Scoffing, you roll your eyes, “I’m working Rafe, I can’t just ‘get out of here’. I really need this job.”

Rafe closed the gap between your bodies, leaving just inches keeping you apart. He reached for the tray in your grasp, taking it and turning his back to you. “Hey, you,” he called to someone dressed in the exact same clothes as you, “Take this to table number…” He glanced over his shoulder at you, waiting for you to finish his sentence.

“Five,” you mumbled, shrugging your shoulders and shooting an apologetic smile to your colleague.

“Perfect, now you’re free,” Rafe smirked, dismissing the girl.

“No, Rafe, now I’m not free. I have other tables to serve.”

Rafe exhaled loudly, his chest heaving, “Look, y/n, I know people, I can keep you out of trouble.”

“Yeah, and how do you propose to do that?”

Rafe sent you a cheeky grin, spreading his arms out wide as if he was going to hug you but his thumbs turned inwards, pointing to themselves, “I’m a Cameron.”

Chewing on the inside of your cheek, you thought over his words. The Camerons did practically own the club, and the stupid outfit you were wearing was beginning to feel tight and uncomfortable. Not to mention, it was exactly the kind of opportunity that JJ had been hounding you to take in order to further the plan. Plus, the little voice in your head whispered, maybe taking off with Rafe would stir up some reaction from JJ, maybe the one you’ve been searching for.

Looking up at him, you shrugged with one shoulder and replied, “alright.”

“Alright?” He asked, a little shocked as he clearly expected to have to fight you a little harder. Truthfully, he wouldn’t have been able to convince you at all if it wasn’t for the plan. Despite your intrusive thoughts, and boy were they intrusive, you didn’t have a particular want or need to spend any time alone with the privileged kook.

“Alright,” you repeated, “What’s the plan?”

“Get out of that stupid waiter get up, and I’ll tell you,” he laughed, causing you to glare at him. He wasn’t wrong though, the outfit was stupid and you hated wearing it, but dresscode was dresscode. You quickly snuck back inside and changed back into your short little jean shorts and top, quickly running past JJ’s confused facial expression. You returned to Rafe, satisfied when you saw the way his eyes trailed your body taking in the change of clothes.

“Have you ever been to a driving range?” He smirked when you looked at him like he had suddenly grown a second head.

“Do I look like the type of person who goes to a driving range?” You asked drily, causing his smirk to widen. He grabbed your hand and all but dragged you to another part of the club, where an out of use driving range sat.

“Are we going to get in trouble for using this?” You asked nervously, all thoughts of Camerons and bets aside you did actually need this job.

“Don’t you trust me?” He asked, rolling his eyes when you gave him a look that screamed ‘hell no’, “Okay well, trust me this once, we’re fine.”

Your eyes land on the golf bag with his initials embroidered on the front and you look at him confusedly, “Did you plan this?”

“Did I plan on sneaking away to use the driving range? Yes. Did I plan on you joining me? No, never in my wildest dreams would I think that you would be here right now with me.” He admits.

Remembering the bet, you smile flirtatiously at him and remark, “So you have wild dreams about me?”

His split second hesitation before rolling his eyes and telling you off has you wondering what role you played when you starred in his dreams. Gulping, you turn back toward him and clear your throat, “So we’re here to what exactly? Hit balls around all day, real fun.” you state sarcastically.

“You can go back to your shitty bowtie and silver tray if you want,” he offered back sassily, causing you to bite your lip. JJ would be pissed if you let this opportunity go to waste. But little did you know, JJ was going to be pissed either way

“Alright, let’s hit some balls I guess,” you replied back half-heartedly and motioning to the golf bag, “I don’t even know what each of these clubs are for,”

“Watch and learn,” Rafe smirked, running his hands through his perfectly slicked back hair, allowing for some hairs to become loose. He reached for the largest club in the bag, ripping the glove off and stepping up to the box. He placed a ball on the standing tee, doing his rituals before swinging and belting the ball nearly two hundred yards.

“Am I supposed to be impressed?” You asked, a single eyebrow raised.

“Here, you give it a go then,” Rafe replied, handing you the driver. You gladly accepted, an aura of confidence washing over you as you recited exactly what he did, he placed the ball on the tee for you and stepped back, allowing you to prep.

You felt his stare on your ass as you lined up the club to take a swing, causing you to pause your motions and glare at him over your shoulder. “Stop staring at my ass, Cameron.”

“Caught you staring at mine first, babe.” He smirked, and you felt the colour drain from your face at the knowledge that you got caught.

Swallowing nervously, you quipped back, “Yeah well I was just wondering why you bought your pants a size too small, thought they were going to split at the seams.”

He threw his head back and laughed, genuinely laughed, the sound booming around you. You couldn’t help but join in, soft giggles mixing with the timbre of his voice. As his laughter faded, he stared at you intensely, calling your bluff, “that’s not why you were staring, and we both know it.”

Coughing slightly to hide your reaction, you turned back toward the little ball on the tee and took a swing, missing by a long shot. “Shit, that’s harder than it looks,” you admit, having wrongly assumed golf to be a simple game of hitting balls with sticks.

Rafe chuckles shaking his head at your poor stature, and you suddenly feel a presence behind you, jumping slightly as his hands rest on your forearms. “Trick is to keep your eyes on the ball, okay?” he hums into your ear, the sensation running down your spine. You nod, swallowing back the lump in your throat, eyes focusing on the ball. He places his arms on your wrist, bringing your arms up, “now keep your front arm straight, tilt your wrist, like this,” he gestures the club up, “and then just swing, keep that arm straight,” he reminds you.

You glance over your shoulder, your orbs connecting with his blue ones that were glistening under the afternoon sun, you offer a small smile and feel yourself getting lost in them, “eyes on the ball,” he reminded you, smirking.

“Is this just a way to get close to my ass?” you retaliate, sucking in your bottom lip to hide the smirk that wanted to erupt on your face.

“This is just me helping a shit golfer,” he replied, stepping back and out of your swinging range. “Try again,” he urged you. He watched you take another shot, cringing when you miss it again. “Keep your eyes on the ball, front arm straight,” he repeated.

“Okay, okay, I got this,” you mumbled mostly to yourself but Rafe nodded at you, hyping you up silently. You focused on the little white ball, following the steps that Rafe told you before swinging the club and successfully hitting the ball, you watched it bounce along the grass about fifty yards in front of you. “Yes!” You cheered, grinning at Rafe.

Rafe placed another ball on the tee, urging you to go again and you did, each swing getting better and each time the ball went further. “But how come it isn’t coming off the ground like yours?” You pouted, leaning on the club and looking at him.

“Come back to me when you’ve been playing golf for ten years,” he smirked, taking the driver off you and replaced it with a five iron. You watched him hit ball after ball, and you wouldn’t admit it but you were impressed, especially at his back muscles that flexed with every shot he took. You made small talk in between the shots, filling the silences which surprisingly weren’t awkward, you expected them to be uncomfortable and that you’d be pulling blood out of a stone to find something in common but the conversation flowed easily.

It was your turn to take a swing again, and you decided you weren’t going to walk away from the driving range without hitting it at least one hundred yards. You reached for the driver again, stepping up to the tee with a face of determination. “See you, you are going through the air this time,” you muttered to the ball, Rafe had to bite on his bottom lip to stop from tumbling over with laughter. You grasped the handle tight, swinging the club with all the strength you had in you and the sound of the ball hitting the face of the club echoed around the empty driving range.

You watched open-mouthed as the ball soared across the air, pass the fifty marker, pass the one hundred marker and landed midway, bouncing until it halted just by the two hundred yard marker. You gasped, dropping the club, and tossing yourself into Rafe’s arms in your excitement. He grunted softly, clearly not expecting it, stumbling back slightly as his hands gripped your hips. “I did it!” you cheered, “I fuckin’ did it!”

Rafe doesn’t protest with having you in his arms, he matches your excitement but he notices the thrill vanish from your eyes as you scramble out of his grasp, “sorry about that,” you mumble, hiding the embarrassment.

“Nah, don’t worry about it,” he mumbles back, and you think you see a flash of disappointment behind his blue eyes but it’s gone as quick as it arrived.

“Uhm, anyway,” you wrack your brain for something to say to ease the awkwardness that had come between you for the first time that afternoon, an image of the chalkboard that JJ brought into the chateau living room crosses your mind, making you remember rule number two, “I better actually head back,” you mumbled.

“So soon?” Rafe can’t stop the words from slipping past his lips, and he cringes inwardly at sounding so desperate wanting you to stay. He doesn’t even know where this sudden interest for you came from, of course he knew who you were and he had spoken to you during some events, but he never paid little mind to you until last week. When he and Kelce were joking about drunk one night, you came up in conversation.

Kelce spoke vulgarly about you, painting pictures in Rafe’s mind and it was like after that night, he saw you everywhere he went. He paid more attention to you, he resisted the urge to go and talk to you in the street, and when he caught you staring at him at the boneyard, he made the decision to approach you. It wasn’t like him to turn to a pogue of all people, but there was something about you that drew him in.

“I had fun today, but like I’m sure you should be getting back to the event, your dad’s probably looking for you,” you said, leaning against the railing that separates the tee boxes.

“Nah, as long as Sarah’s around, he doesn’t have a lot to do with me,” He pauses seeing your face fall the slightest bit, “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“I dunno, like that,” he shrugs, running a hand through his hair again.

“Okay, sorry” you reply defensively, not sure what his problem is, “I won’t look at you at all then.”

He laughs at that, a smirk gracing his face once again, “Sure, I’d like to see you try. You can’t help but look.”

You scoff, “Oh yeah, I just can’t help myself. Oh my god, Rafe Cameron you’re sooo hot,”

“Relax, babe, you don’t have to throw yourself at me,” He laughed.

“Shut up!” You gasp, pushing yourself off the railing, stalking over to him and smacking his hard chest.

“Wait,” he muttered, grasping at your wrist, stopping you from stepping away from him. His tongue runs across his bottom lip and you hated yourself for allowing your eyes to follow the pink tip. You looked up to his eyes, watching the smirk flicker across his face. The rule flashes through your mind again, and you know you should be running, but... something about the look in his eye as he leans in has you locked in place waiting for his mouth to meet yours. His hand comes up to cup your face, and you suck in a breath, holding it as his thumb gently brushes under your eye before he pulls away from you entirely. “Eyelash,” he mutters quietly and you feel your heart reactivate again.

“R-right,” you stutter, moving to step back from him. Maybe this was a bad idea agreeing with this stupid plan that JJ and John B claimed they put so much thought into it, maybe they underestimated the effect that Rafe would have on you. You most definitely did.

Something else was still bothering you, though. “I have to ask,” you took in a deep breath, suddenly nervous of what you were asking, especially considering the fact that you were just about to let Rafe Cameron kiss you, “Why take an interest in me now?”

“Why have you suddenly taken an interest in me?” Rafe countered, causing you to gulp. “Two weeks ago you wouldn’t take a second glance at me.”

Glancing up at Rafe, you plastered a cunning smile on your lips and shrugged your shoulder, “I asked you first.”

“We’re not in kindergarten, y/n, those rules don’t apply here.”

“Who said I wasn’t taking a second glance when you weren’t looking.”

“I knew you liked my ass,”

You roll your eyes, “Well it’s not your humble personality. Now answer my question.”

“Thought it would piss Maybank off,” he shrugs nonchalantly, but you can tell he’s trying to appear that way. Besides, JJ isn’t even here right now and you tell him so. He just shrugs again.

“What don’t you want to tell me?” You asked, hoping you weren’t projecting your own nerves.

Rafe sucked in a deep breath, running his hand over his face as if he was trying to make you forget about everything, but when your eyes gave him a pointed look, he let all walls crash around him. “Honestly, y/n, I don’t know why. I-I just see you on the beach, you’re always laughing, always smiling, nothing ever seems to bother you and it’s what I need. I need someone to make me feel happy again, make me feel alive.”

You listened intently to his words, holding onto every gasp of breath he realised, the aching in your heart making your palms sweat. “A-and that person is me?” your voice was merely a whisper, your mouth gaping open at the honesty in Rafe Cameron’s voice.

“I don’t know if it is, but what I do know is that I had a good time today, and wouldn’t be opposed to doing it again,”

Your heart aches in your chest for someone you once considered an enemy. He wasn’t a friend now, but something had changed in the dynamic somewhere between him saving you from an embarrassing fall and showing you the right way to swing a golf club. You couldn’t help but think to yourself that Rafe Cameron might not actually be that bad, and you might have actually enjoyed yourself this afternoon. Against all odds, spending the afternoon ditching not only your shift and JJ in order to ‘hit balls around’ as you so eloquently put it earlier had been a lot more fun than you gave Rafe credit for.

Your nose scrunches up as you consider your thoughts, what is wrong with you? He is the enemy. One afternoon where he’s not being a complete dick and you forget the bruised and battered state of your best friends only a few days ago? The vulgar words that dripped so easily from his mouth like venom, where he had treated you like some possession to be won, all for the sake of getting a rise out of JJ?

Biting your lip and swallowing, you tell him briefly, “I have to go,” before fleeing back to the club. You hear him calling out to you from behind, but you keep your head down and make the trip back, trying to slip into the Club undetected.

“And where have you been?” JJ is standing on the other side of the door you’ve just successfully snuck through. You gasp, hand flying up to cover your now fast beating heart.

“Jesus, J. You scared the shit out of me,” you harshly whisper, “I was with Rafe working on your big plan.”

“You could have warned me, I had to cover for you!” JJ snapped. “Rafe said he would handle it,” you tell him.

Rolling his eyes and throwing his hands up in the air in exasperation, he turns on you, “Oh Rafe said?”

“Yes, Rafe said,” you repeat, “What’s crawled up your ass, I’m working on your stupid plan.”

You couldn’t help but feel angry towards your best friend, and you weren’t sure if it was because he was getting annoyed with you or if it was what Rafe had disclosed to you previously, but there was definitely an underlying feeling of frustration.

“What’s crawled up my ass is you left me hanging, we’re meant to be in this together.”

“No, JJ, I’m the one doing it all. You came up with some rules, I’m the one that’s putting my feelings on the line,” you snapped, watching his face contort to confusion.

“Your feelings? What feelings?” He’s taken aback by your words, head jutting as if you had just slapped him across the face.

“You know what, it doesn’t even matter. I’ll keep playing this stupid game for you, but don’t come and attack me just because you had to wash a few extra dishes.” Frustration seeps from your voice, unsure of why exactly he’s coming at you sideways. This was his plan, and you’re just doing your part to make it happen. At least, that’s what you told yourself this afternoon with Rafe had been for.

“I-I wasn’t attacking you, y/n, I was worried about you,” his voice softened, you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the way his bottom lip jutted out, he knew you had a weakness for his puppy dog face. But with the simmering of frustration and anger growing within you, you wouldn’t back down right now.

“Well it didn’t feel like that.” You tell him harshly, hoping you’re properly conveying the swirling mix of negative emotions you’re currently experiencing.

Truthfully, JJ isn’t mad about washing a few extra dishes. He batted his eyelashes at your coworker who was more than happy to take on his dishwashing duties. He was mad that you weren’t keeping him in the loop, the two of you told each other everything. Well, everything except your feelings for him. He knew you found him attractive, and he honestly did love you with his whole heart. It just probably wasn’t the way you really wanted him to. JJ was mad because the girl he thought he had on lock, the one that would always be there waiting for him, just told him that her feelings were on the line for a plan to take down his most hated adversary.

JJ sighed, pushing away all his bravado and looking intently at you, “I’m sorry I made you feel that way, I’m sorry I make you feel a lot of things, but please just keep me in the loop, I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“JJ, I feel like we’re going around in circles at this point, and if I’m being honest, the only person hurting me right now is you,” you ignored the painful look on JJ’s face and continue, “Every evening you have to apologise for something, whether it’s something you say or something you do, we argue, we make up and then it happens again-”

“It’s not every evening,” you groan at his interruption, throwing your hands in the air.

“If you’re not ready to have a serious conversation, I’m not ready to continue speaking with you.” You tell him harshly and push past him, ignoring his weak attempts to get you to stop.

“Wait, you’re still coming over to John B’s tonight, right?” he asks, and you turn and glare at him over your shoulder.

Maybe Pope was right, this was a bad, bad idea and you had no idea what you were getting yourself into.

Tag list:

htbah taglist (link to add yourself to the google form on the series masterlist!):

@solllaris @drewswannabegirl @starrystarkey93 @httpstarkey @sweetlysilent @drewstarkey @dontjinx-it @ultranikilove @spencereidbasis @meaganjm @starlightstarkey @thortheestallion @jiaraendgame @idocarealot-not @tempestuousjj @pink-meringues @dpaccione @arianabrashierstuff @softstarkey @loveylangdon @xenagzb @teenwaywardasgardian @prejudic3 @nxsmss @canibeoneofthepogues @nqbmf @outerbanksbro @obx-direction-sos @digniteas @annedub @colorful-queen-of-the-roses @yesp0ny @loveniallandharryonedirection @fantasticpsychicfanfish @girls-breaking-hearts @beautyandthebleh @casper17 @parkershoco @unfortunatekiwitrash @loverofmineluke @slutforjjmaybank @skiesofthesketchy @sugarcoatedcalum @amorisxx

(the rest of the taglist will be in a reblog to hopefully not piss tumblr off this time!!)

#rafe obx #rafe x you #rafe x reader #rafe x y/n #rafe imagine #rafe fanfiction #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron series #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron #rafe cameron angst #freyby writes #diverdcwn writes #htbah

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cafeinthemoon · 4 years ago

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Headcanons for Founders trio with an s/o who's a bookworm 📚

I don’t know if this has been done before but I myself am a bookworm and when this idea came, it was funny to imagine how each of the founders would react to having a partner who’s passionate about books

Ps: I’m sorry that I’m not capable of writing a short list of headcanons okay I really try but I can’t sorry

Fandom: Naruto | Founders trio

Symbols: 💗 | ◼ | ▶▶

Hashirama

First of all, I don’t see him as a book lover, but neither he’s book hater. He’s just the average person who can live in peace with the fact that there are books in this world without being too attached or disgusted by them

This is bc he probably has some trauma from reading caused by the huge piles of paper he has to deal in his office (he tries to avoid them by procrastinating and then begs for his brother’s help)

But he has a genuine interest in your passion bc well, he loves you, which means he loves almost everything about you and believes that understanding this hobby is a way to understand you as a person

And bc of that he always goes with you when you say you want to go to the library or the bookstore

Hashirama is the guy who’s capable of getting excited with your enthusiasm though he’s not really into the same stuff as you

So he will have so much fun following you around those corridors and shelves full of books

And will analyze every book cover you show him aka agree with all of your reviews on the covers bc he trusts your capacity of analyzing things

He will also hear when you talk about your favorite plots, characters, writing styles and quotes

If you get indecisive between one book and other you certainly will he will try to help you make up your mind by telling you that “this one’s cover is prettier than the other’s” or “I think this one will have more exciting adventures”

He will be content whether you choose this book or the other, and will laugh if you decide to get them both

Plus: Hashirama is good at spoiling his s/o so he will insist on buying any book you lay your eyes on to the point you’ll have to argue for him to let you pay for your own books

And when it’s time to go home, he will help you with the piles of books you borrowed from the library or bought from your favorite bookstore (with a significative % of discount ofc)

So we can agree that despite not having a great love for books, Hashirama will be the most fun company for a bookworm like you 💕

But this doesn’t extend to the occasions when you recommend something for him to read

He always promises he will read that book soon but you know he’s going to forget that the book exists right after you leave it with him and will only remember it when you ask it back 😐

Tobirama

Now, with this guy things are way different

Bc if you think of yourself as a bookworm, Tobirama says GET READY TO KNOW WHAT REALLY MEANS TO BE A BOOKWORM

Seriously, he has been reading since he can remember. It’s a part of him as much as the shinobi life

He reads absolutely anything. Politics? Yes. History? Ofc. Poetry? Same. Cookbook? He had already gave it a try. And do not let him start with Science 🔍

And he has a prodigious memory for what he reads, so he’s capable of spotting any book he has in his personal library with his eyes closed, so that even if you remember only one quote from the book, he will find it for you

The best part of this is that you can talk about anything about any book bc Tobirama probably has read it and will understand your point, and if he hadn’t read it yet, it’s just a question of time until he adds it to his collection

Or he will make comparisons between this book and others that are similar to it that he already has and that’s what he does to understand the whole point

The connection that comes from this is something unique. Your love for him grows as much as your love for the books you read

But everything has its dark side, and in this case it’s called COMPETITION

I’m sorry to give you such sad news, but Tobirama is that person who can turn the most innocent hobby into a competition if he feels threatened thinks you’re becoming more experienced than him in it. So expect to see him become a bit petty

He will not start a proper fight but you will sense that he’s getting into discussions about trivial details more often. He doesn’t need an invitation: if you say something that he mildly disagrees, he will discuss it until he convinces you of his pov (or you say you give up)

If you’re really into discussions and such, you might enjoy it like a sport. However, if you don’t like conflicts, I feel sorry for you lmao

If it extends for too long, it will become a reason for a serious fight, because he will get to the point of saying that “you need to refine your taste for books a little” or that “you should slow your pace in order to pay more attention to what you’re reading and have a better understanding of the book’s subject”

If things get to this point the only person who will be able to help you to make amends is Hashirama. But I hope it never happens

Now, the biggest advantage of being Tobirama’s s/o and loving books is that you almost never need to buy books, bc he’s the owner of the greatest library in the village (he has all the books you won’t find in the public library)

Ofc you manage to buy some, but you don’t use to do book hauls because you don’t wanna end up broken he always gets the books you want

That doesn’t mean you two don’t spend time out on bookstores and get back home late sometimes ❤

Madara

Can’t believe I couldn’t find that gif of him reading a book with his Sharingan

I don’t know but Madara and books in the same sentence sounds peculiar to me lol

I think his attitude towards books is similar to Hashirama’s in some points, except that he promptly recognizes the importance of books as knowledge and intelectual development’s tools. But in general terms he’s not the most passionate person about them

The thing is that he prefers activities outside the house, that push him to the limits of his body. You know, with this man it is about the PHYSICAL

So things like staying indoors, enjoying a good book doesn’t have appeal to him. You might love it, but to him it sounds a bit tedious

But he respects and admires this preference of yours. It’s good to see his s/o engaging in a healthy and safe activity

Sometimes, when he gets home, he might ask casually what you are reading this time, but this is not to be understood as an invitation to a long talk. He just came home, he’s tired and the last thing he wants is to hear about things in which he’s not quite interested, so it’s better just to say the book’s title or the genre

If he’s in a good mood, he will sit by your side and watch you while you read. Getting close to you and observe what you’re doing is a habit of him no matter what task you’re performing, but seeing you immersed in something you’re passionate about is different

He likes to pay attention to the way your eyes go through the lines, your lips move to repeat the characters’ sentences, your expression changing to follow your emotions and the delicate manners with which your fingers touch the pages

If you stop reading to look at him, he won’t even try to disguise 😁

And if you ask him what is it, he will just smug and continue to stare at you

Observing you is like a hobby to him, it’s his way to get in touch with you

Now, talking about your readings is something complicated when you have a partner like Madara

I believe the best way to talk about books with him is doing it indirectly. For example, instead of saying things like “I’ve read it in a book that if you…”, just say “Maybe it’s just the case that they will…”. Just bring out the idea itself and leave the source aside

He knows that you probably found it in one of your books, but he will not be bothered. Instead, he will praise the fact that your readings turn you into a smart and observing person, with a deep understanding of the world and its people

As you can imagine, going with you to buy books is to him what going with a s/o to buy shoes is to other men. Yes, he is that guy that tries to make you walk in another direction so that you won’t pass in front of a bookstore or the village’s library bc he knows that once you step into these places, you won’t leave so soon

Bc of this you use to go alone to do your book hauls or to ask your friends to go with you. Sometimes you wish you could make Madara change his mind, for you love his company, but you’re ok knowing that it’s not going to happen and try to concentrate on being in good terms with him ❤

#naruto headcanons #founders trio #hashirama #hashirama headcanons #tobirama #tobirama headcanons #madara #madara headcanons #konoha #bookworm #book lover

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moosoobi · 4 years ago

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Confessions

In the night: Chapter 2

T.Jeff- Hamilton: the musical

Y/N can’t hold all her secrets. She’s tired of hiding. The people deserve the truth. Here’s her confession: the one she should’ve told us long ago

I started to write this chapter the day after I finished chapter 1, yet before the first chapter was even published (time management queen). As I’m typing this message, I’m currently distracting myself from finals LMAO. Anyway, I wanted to finish this chapter as soon as possible to give some explanation of the events in the previous chapter, so I hope I do exactly that. I’m still manifesting that I articulate through this story smoothly, please give me feedback <3

MC (aka Y/N’s) POV

Modern au

Word Count: 5.4k

A few unrealistic realities, but I’m working with what I got

This chapter will most likely answer many questions about chapter 1

THIS CHAPTER OCCURS AT THE SAME TIME AS CHAPTER 1! all events in this chapter line up with the events of chapter 1

Disclaimers:

TW: violence, abuse, mentions of blood, themes of injury, itty bitty angst?

photo not mine <3

If you have any questions/concerns about this story, DONT BE SHY TO ASK ME! This is my first time writing a whole series, so I apologize if the plot gets confusing.

-Now Playing: Broken Clocks by SZA-

Where to start…

My attention was taken from Professor Washington’s lecture the moment I felt a pair of eyes attempting to pierce a hole in the back of my head. As I look back, I realize that it’s no one other than Thomas Jefferson, the spoiled francophile, or so people like the whisper, but gossip’s not my thing.

Upon being called out by Professor Washington, I couldn’t hold in my giggle as Thomas’s head ducks down in embarrassment. I suppose he sure knows how to lighten the demeanor in the lecture hall; It was a nice excuse to take my eyes off of Washington’s low-quality power-point presentation, but I appreciate that the man is trying.

This class feels like it’ll last forever, and I contemplate if I could just perish in my seat at this very instant, yet Thomas’s presence seems to make it worthwhile. I don’t know him that much, or maybe at all for that matter, but since he’s been seen with a Schuyler, the locals around here can’t seem to keep their mouths shut about him.

From what I’ve heard, he’s another silver-spoon raised boy representing Virginia up here in New York. A few scholarships here and there, as well as a trip to France for a semester. I don’t see what all the fuss is about; He seems like a pretty cool person, probably has an exciting life, and isn’t throwing away his shot. It’s odd, even with parents to piggyback off of, Thomas is very similar to a certain orphan I know.

“Class is dismissed” Is all I heard from Professor Washington’s mouth before that obnoxious but relieving bell sounds off.

Desperate to get out of this class, I hurry to put my stationery items into my burgundy-magenta backpack. You’d think after those turbulent years of high school that college would motivate me for fancier bags, but I can’t say no to my favorite color. It’s simple, won’t bring attention to my presence, unlike every other decision I’ve made in my life.

After I finally finished packing up, I can’t wait to take a breath of the fresh, polluted air of New York City. I quickly spotted my roommate's car within the crowd of vehicles next to the sidewalk. He’s on time, as always, to pick me up from class, and I’m grateful that he sacrifices his time for me, but it’s not like he had a choice. I toss my bag into the trunk, surely crinkling a few important papers. Upon reaching the door of his expensive car, my roommate greets me with joy to see me.

“How was class, Cherie?”

Lafayette, my roommate, shoots a smile at me, his white teeth are almost blinding, but he always says I’m exaggerating.

“Boring as always, but I’m still here, sadly” I say as I hop into the front seat of Lafayette’s car. He pouts in my direction

“Ahh, c’mon, don’t be like that.” Once he acknowledges the buckling of my seatbelt, he begins to power up the car. “C’est la vie, Y/N” I roll my eyes, my hatred for him grows just a little more every time he says that.

“Can we get McDonald’s?” I attempt to change the subject, earning a small chuckle from him. He prepares to drive off “You know I can't say no to you and your American junk food”

And so we begin to drive off

Lafayette and I indeed have a bit of history together. After I got mistakenly involved with Alexander and his clique, Lafayette was the next best (or worse) person to walk into my life. He’s sweet, charming, probably all the things Americans are not; the gentleman hails from France. Yet he’s so much more than that.

Ever since I caught his eye at that obnoxious high school party, he and I hit the ground running. Disclosing the events which took place in his-

our bedroom won’t solve the problem, but the stubble on his jaw and the way he holds the steering wheel with one hand nearing my thigh reminds me of the unresolved sexual tension between the both of us.

I’ve only been living in his apartment for a few months, an idea he proposed when I mentioned my dreadful rent. A nice view, nice coffee maker, and nice bedsheets were more than enough to convince me, but I know there’s more to that “nice” list that I shouldn’t disclose.

Though I know his intentions were good, I’m sure he invited me into his abode to protect me from Alex.

Since I began to band with Alex and his gang, Alexander’s been strict about getting me home on time. It wasn’t only because I was a helpless high school student, but also to prevent me from ratting him and his group out to the authorities.

Upon joining Alex's posse, a strict curfew has been placed on me, only to ensure I stay safe at night, or perhaps to make sure I don’t betray them.

Moving in with Lafayette made following this time limitation easier for me, especially since he volunteers to drive me home or takes a stand for me. If the unfortunate event of my arrival past my ‘bedtime’ timer occurs, Alexander ensures I pay the price.

Speaking of arrivals, Lafayette passes me a box of hot, salty fries and a smile spreads across my face. His eyes visibly soften as my entire demeanor changes.

“Have I ever told you that you’re the best person ever?” I spilled my thoughts while stuffing my mouth with fries. He lightly chuckles, watching me.

“Maybe a couple of times..” He prepares to drive off again “...too many times, actually.” he shot a wink at me.

Blood didn’t have any time to rush to my cheeks before I could slap the side of his shoulder, causing him to whine in discomfort. I sigh before returning my focus to the steaming fries in front of me. The tension grows, and so does the silence between us. Eager to break the tension, I propose an idea.

“Let’s go home?” we turn to each other at the same time

“Oui.”

---

I enter Professor Washington’s lecture hall and my attention is driven to the two curly-headed Virginians. I watch in secondhand embarrassment as Thomas Jefferson and his friend playfully argue in front of the entire class, seemingly a heated debate of the greatness of Mac and Cheese. One argues on behalf of the gooey pasta, while the other simultaneously retorts with a mix of “you’re so stupid” and “God help me”.

Feeling a rush of confidence and suaveness, my brain urges my body to intervene in their conversation. Maybe it was to make new friends, or perhaps to stop the class from staring at their dumb dispute, but I swiftly walk over to them. The next few words to come out of my mouth fell into place oh-so-perfectly.

“Hey, can I sit here?”

Upon sitting in between the two Virginians, they introduce themselves. The calmer, self-collected man among the two introduced himself as James Madison, while the bolder, upbeat man introduced himself as no other than Thomas Jefferson. Both of them seemed happy that I interrupted and decided to reach out to them, maybe one was a tad more excited than the other.

And ever since then, Professor Washington can’t seem to split up our trio. From childish jokes and a few inappropriate inferences, Thomas and James make great company. The idiotic smile that spreads across Thomas’s face whenever he’s capable of making James and I break our silence during class would become more annoying than Lafayette saying “C’est la vie” whenever I make a poor life decision.

Nevertheless, Thomas and James dangerously remind me of Alexander and his goons. The abundant amount of self-praise and cocky remarks said by both Thomas and Alexander is almost astronomical. In the case of Thomas and Alexander’s meeting, I’m sure they’d be the best of friends. But likewise, I could also envision the two attempting to tear each other's heads off, the chaotic clashing of two powerful minds.

They always know what to say and when to say it. I’ve never met anyone as clever as Thomas and James, and they’re even worse when they’re together.

“‘ ‘s Adams here today? Washington told me to turn in my papers t’ him.” Thomas whispers as he eases into his chair, Washington’s booming voice seems to become background noise to us

“Is he ever?” I reply, attempting not to giggle at my own response “I haven’t seen him since Washington initially introduced him to the class.”

“Maybe he’s jus’ sick or somethin’. Kinda reminds me of you, James'' His head of curls turns to stare down James, in which James replies by rolling his eyes

“He can stay home, he does the same amount of work there anyways.” James cleverly retorted.

And that seemed to be our last straw before bursting out in laughter. Thomas’s body flung forward as he laughed his head off, James ducking his head to hide his glee behind his laptop, and I quickly slap a hand over my mouth to prevent anyone around us from drawing suspicion. But apparently, Washington wasn’t having our disguises.

“Can the three of you even tell me what I just said?” Washington turns around from the board to scan the crowd, his eagle eyes find us quickly

The silence was all we could emit, and soon enough, He turned back to his lesson. I sigh with relief; the last thing I need is to get kicked out of a class I don’t even pay for.

…

...

“Washington sure got a shiny ass head. D’you think he uses shampoo and conditioner?” Whispered Thomas as he leans over to me

And just like that, we’re faced with the same struggle all over again.

—-

Lafayette adjusted the hot pan, erupting a few sizzles. The wall clock ticked, the hour arm froze pointing to the “11” written in roman numerals. Lafayette and I decided to agree on a home-cooked meal, and although it’s too late for an average dinner, yet too early to be defined as a midnight snack, I’m sure Lafayette’s cooking will satisfy me for the night.

“Y/NN, would you prefer salt on your omelet? Or did you decide to be healthy tonight?” He said holding a salt shaker in the air to steal my focus from the swirling red liquid in my glass.

My head lifts to meet his eyes. I tilt my head, the wine causing me to ponder for a little longer than I should’ve. He continues to stare at me, holding in a laugh, before I force myself to nod.

“Yeah.. a little won’t hurt” I hear him chuckle at my drunken dialect, but I know the French man isn’t about to lecture me about English “Your wish is my command.”

I watch as he conducts the kitchen perfectly. He knows where everything is, exactly what to add into the sizzling pan, maybe even the exact second to take the meal off the flame.

“I thought you weren’t a fan of monarchy?” the sarcasm was evident in my tone “but I appreciate the submission” I shot him a playful wink, to which he responds with a pompous smirk

A few sips of wine later, I recognize notification that has been staring back at me for hours.

1 Message from Thomas

A text from Thomas? And I’m barely seeing this now? I silently scold myself for giving into the wine before opening the message.

“Thomas: Hey this is Thomas from class, wanna come study with us at the library sometime?”

My eyes become glued to my phone. It was certainly necessary for me to reread Thomas’s text, I was unsure if the alcohol was beginning to make me see odd things, but I assured myself I was correct.

I could feel the blush spread across my face. Maybe it’s just the wine taking control, or maybe it’s the butterflies in my stomach forming every time I reread his message. A harmless invite, perhaps evoked from Thomas due to James stroking his ego, but I know James’ wouldn’t promote such a bold, straight-forward message. Though Thomas is known for his meticulous confidence and certainty, a message this simple could be notably deceiving.

But a little socializing won’t damage my self-respect. “Be bold, Y/N” is what I used to tell myself at the beginning of the semester, and what do I have to lose? I begin to type my reply.

“Y/N: yeah I’m down :) just send a time and place and I’ll be on my way”

Sent.

My introspection was soon interrupted by the screeching plate being slid in my direction by Lafayette, the steam circulating the meal

“Y/N, Mangeons.” My head comes up from my phone, my eyes meet his eyes momentarily.

“Thanks, Laf.” I reply before taking a fork from him and digging into the steaming meal ahead of me. Lafayette’s cooking never disappoints. Ever.

My body couldn’t help but pick up my phone every few minutes to respond to Thomas’s messages, Though they were just the details of the hangout-offer he previously proposed, I felt enclosed in my little bubble while texting him. Those few moments of interaction with him somehow made my day better. I’m sure even Lafayette could see my radiating energy, but I’m not sure how he took it.

We’re technically not a couple; a few hookups and moving in together don't make us an official couple, right?

“Merci, Laffy.” I watched as he visibly cringed at my poor attempt at french. “Let’s just stick to our mother tongues, angel.” He retorted. I laughed it off, yet inside his reply left a scratch on my pride.

---

Another class of absolute foolery and childish inferences, and I can’t help but laugh as Thomas, James, and I exit the lecture hall. The New-York cold hits us harshly, but being about a month into this semester, students already know what to expect.

It was indeed embarrassing, running to Lafayette’s car to remind him of your library study session.

“Alright, I’ll pick you up before your curfew, okay?” He asked with one hand on the wheel. His faux-leather jacket contorting around his toned arms made it difficult not to remember the moments they shared around midnight. The imagery of their candle-lit room appearing in her head as he sat at the wheel stopped her from replying for a moment.

“Y-Yeah sounds great. You’re the best, you know that?” She thanked him for sacrificing his time to make sure she arrives home on time.

“You remind me all the time.” He sneaks in a small wink between his sentences “I’ll see you tonight, Cherie”

Y/N smiled before turning around to prance over to her friends. Y/N heard the faint sounds of Lafayette driving off, sighing in relief

After briefly explaining my situation to the boys, we quickly head over to the library.

A woman in a coral-pink blazer and pants set is waiting impatiently at a table she rented out just for us. “What in the world took you guys so long?” She pressured for an answer

“C’mon Angie, that wasn’t even ten minutes.” Thomas rolled his eyes before removing his backpack and opening a chair for Y/N. Real smooth, Thomas, I can’t lie. He looked over to me, seeing stars in my eyes as I realize I’m standing next to the oldest Schuyler.

“You’re-” She interrupted me with a smile, sticking out her hand to shake mine

“Angelica Schuyler. And you?” I swear her name sounds familiar. I’m sure I’ve heard it around but I just can't place it. I do see her on my social media feed from time to time, and I must admit, she looks even more heavenly in person.

“Y/N L/N.” My hand meets hers in a firm handshake.

“Nice to meet you.”

—-

At first, I thought nothing of it.

Though Lafayette’s text at 7:30 (on the dot) did push me out of my zone, I did appreciate his promise to me.

Thomas on the other hand seemed disturbed by my sudden leave, but it’s not like he’d understand. Alexander would literally kill me if I were home late.

But Thomas and I would continue to hang out. His evening texts would slowly become a weekly routine. Whether it was a scary movie or an ice cream date for just the two of us, he always found a way to spend time with me.

“Don’t tell me that mint chocolate chip is actually your favorite flavor, darlin’.” He adjusted his position on the park bench and raised an eyebrow, his gaze focused on the green ice cream atop my ice cream cone “You might make me regret takin’ you out tonight” he chuckled and I couldn’t help but smile

“You know you love me” I jokingly retorted, scooping part of my ice cream with my tongue, and relaxing against the bench.

It’s very rare to get to relax like this. Not only am I a fully-fledged college student, but also one of Alexander’s goons. The weekends are merely just ‘weekdays: the sequel’, but add forbidden literature and alcohol to that equation.

I look back up to Thomas, seeing his disgusted face. “Wait.. are you actually against mint chocolate chip ice cream?” I cocked an eyebrow towards him

He shrugged before chuckling “I recall telling you of my unfortunate arguments while visiting England..”

“..so what does mint chocolate chip ice cream have to do with your political upheavals in a foreign country?”

He smirked in an ‘all knowing’ manner. “Well, Darlin, if you did your research—“

“—You’ve got to be kidding me—“I start to wonder why I even asked

“—you’d learn that the monstrosity in your ice cream cone, mint chocolate chip, originated in England.” He completed his statement with triumph “Ever since my disagreements in England, I swore to despise such a concoction until the day I die.”

I looked at him like he was crazy. “I can’t believe you did your research on English creations. You’re so dramatic sometimes” I respond

“Hey, I wouldn’t be a Jefferson if I wasn’t.” He stared back to his cone, the mesmerizing ice cream almost reflecting himself back at him.

We shared silence for a moment. Words were unnecessary when we were together.

“I suppose..” Jefferson started “...I might be able to tolerate mint chocolate chip ice cream, but only for you, though.” He turned towards my direction

My eyes soon met his. “Well, I’m honored to be your exemption, Jefferson.” I smile with triumph, recognizing my effect on him.

He swiftly takes my hand, his skin feels burning compared to mine. Our eyes remain connected as he dips his head down to kiss the back of my hand. I attempt to hide the fact that my heart stopped beating for a moment, but the breath hitching in my throat wouldn’t help me at all.

“Let’s drop the formalities, Darlin, you can call me Thomas now.” My hand remained between his. I try my best to keep my hand still, wanting to marinate in this moment forever.

A new feeling courses through my body. Something unfamiliar. Perhaps it’s the charm of a Southern Gentleman. Maybe the feeling of being treated right for the first time, something I’ve never experienced from anyone.

What have I ever done to deserve this chivalrous kindness?

‘What a gentleman’ I repeat to myself in my mind. What makes him so different from the others?

From a simple kiss, I suddenly crave more.

More than the unresolved sexual tension between Lafayette and I.

More than I was ever granted the opportunity to.

Maybe ‘more’ is what I deserve.

My mind bleeds with the thought of Lafayette, but Thomas seems like he has so much more to offer. What if I do deserve to be happy? I may not have earned it, but who gets to declare my right to happiness? I was once happy with Lafayette, but the times have changed

He’s just not him. He’s just not Thomas.

---

But no matter how much I enjoyed spending time with Jefferson himself, I was always the first one to leave. I had to.

I remember the way his smile would fall at the sound of Lafayette’s car horn.

The way his jaw tenses whenever my phone vibrates across the table

Whenever Lafayette came to pick me up, I also can’t help but feel a part of my soul crack within me.

“I’ll see you this weekend?” He kisses the back of my hand once more in an attempt to savor this moment, continuing to maintain eye contact.

“I’ll try, Thomas. Not sure if I’m busy.” I sigh with fatigue. “But I’ll let you know.”

“Alright. Get home safe, darlin’” I hear him stand from the park bench as I wander to Lafayette’s car, his eyes following my figure.

I hop into Lafayette’s car before taking one last glance in Thomas’s direction, watching as his figure begins to walk in the opposite direction that our car was heading.

“Ahh, Y/N. Don’t tell me you’re cheating on me” his sarcastic tone wouldn’t pierce deep enough.

I speak without thinking. “I do recall you claiming that you and I were never a couple, remember Laf?” My change in demeanor was certain to shut him up. And he did.

He’s just not him. He’s just not Thomas.

I remained turned away from Lafayette as we drove through the city. The memories built between Lafayette and I constantly falls like a house of cards, but I prefer to avoid the subject.

Lafayette felt otherwise, yet respected my choice.

He was the first to speak.

“Alexander needs me for a transport this weekend.” He stated, “I’m not sure when I’ll get back, so it’s very important that you get back from whatever plans you have before your curfew.” He takes a glance over to me and briefly meets my eyes

“Don’t test the waters, Y/N.”

Ah yes, the monthly literature transportation of Alexander’s gang.

The Notorious Sons of Liberty.

A popular group roaming the streets of New York. But instead ironically of selling drugs or performing homicide, they produce and sell illegal, banned literature and disperse them to the highest bidders.

How else do you think I pay for college?

Although gang violence isn’t really their thing, that doesn’t mean they’re not in possession of such weaponry and devices. I’ve never seen anyone take literature as seriously as they do.

They’re also known for their bold publicity stunts, which are indeed fun to watch from a nearby coffee shop. Watching Alexander, Lafayette, and some other friends, John and Herc, run from the authorities on a Sunday afternoon, accidentally laughing at the sight of John tripping over his own feet, Lafayette mouthing ‘help us out’ in my direction. Very entertaining.

On the contrary, their security on me has become tighter and tighter. I know they worry for the gang’s reputation over my safety, but it feels nice to imagine having a battalion of book-worm gang members watching over you.

“I know, I know. You guys can stop treating me like a kid” I attempt to contain a giggle to portray my seriousness.

He takes a glance at me before returning his attention to the road. “You cannot say that until you have another way home other than me.” He sighed rather loudly

“Be careful, or I might do just that, Lafayette.”

---

I sipped on wine and ate cheese at Thomas’s place without a care in the world on a Saturday night. Of course, I had to accept Thomas’s offer, I never knew how to say no to him.

Jefferson has sure been taking his sweet time to put a title on us. Now, I’m no philosopher when it comes to dating, but Ice cream at the park, fancy dinners, and wine and cheese sure sound romantic.

My night was going well. All until the 7:30 alarm on my phone rang, and before I knew it, everything began to go downhill

[events of chapter 1]

And next thing I knew, the cold New York air slapped my face, following the harsh slam of the apartment door.

As my adrenaline began to settle down, panic rushed through my body.

Fuck. At this rate, I won’t be home until after my curfew. Although my immediate instinct was to sprint my way home, those thoughts were quickly followed by the idea of passing out within five minutes. My apartment isn’t too far, but being fueled by wine and cheese doesn’t sound like the best idea.

“Don’t test the waters, Y/N” echoed throughout my head.

I begin to walk down the street before whipping out my phone to contact an Uber.

The small talk produced between my driver and I worked a bit to calm myself down, but that would all change the moment I walked through my apartment door.

Once I turn back around from locking the door, I’m met with exactly what I didn’t want to see at this very moment.

Lafayette stood staring at me, his lips pursed with anxiousness, recognizing my significantly late arrival.

Hercules, another good friend I’ve met through the sons of liberty, stood beside Lafayette. His mouth hung open in shock as he also recognized my mistake.

John, the group’s smallest yet mightiest, leaned against the wall, perhaps planning my fate right in front of me

And none other than Alexander Hamilton himself, sipping scotch on my couch, similarly to how I was not too long ago at Thomas’s place. The glare on his face quickly reminded me that I was in big trouble.

“Y/N, I thought I told you—“ Lafayette began but was quickly interrupted

“You’re late.” He swirled his drink before standing up. The clock ticked, and the hour hand notably passed the 8:30 symbol. I was not getting out of this one.

Although I feared for the following moments, I attempted to contain my emotions within myself. I kept my straight face for the time being. I could feel everyone’s eyes on me.

“I’m well aware.” That came out of my mouth a little too harsh for my liking

“May I remind you that being out past your curfew could severely damage our image.”

I saw John look over to Alex from the corner of my eye. The air became thinner if that were even possible, and I refused to meet his eyes.

“And I do recall reminding you of your consequences.” He walked towards me and I felt my heart froze. “Having you out so late could raise some suspicions among our competitors, L/N.”

I couldn’t find the right words and resort to nodding instead

“I always fucking told you—“ he harshly slammed his drink onto the table beside him “—not to test the waters—”

“—I-I know—“

“So why the fuck are you stumbling in here past your curfew?”

At this very moment, I wondered if I had pulled the last straw.

I couldn’t speak. God forbid I spat out the wrong words. Contained within my thoughts, I didn’t acknowledge Alexander closing the distance between us.

“Ow!--” I watched as Alex shoved me to the wall, the moment playing in slow motion in my head.

Lafayette’s throat grew dry “Hey, Alex, Calm dow-”

He was interrupted by the sound of Alexander harshly slapping me across the face. My hands quickly went to soothe what felt like fire burning my cheek.

“We do so much for you, Y/N.” Alex growled

The sharp pain in my side grew, almost echoing throughout my body. I could feel my body giving up on itself. I mean, this wouldn’t be the first time Alex has acted like this.

Occasionally, Alex would stop by Lafayette and I’s apartment just to ensure I was home before my curfew, and he wasn’t the most forgiving.

--He owns an apartment key and has every single one of his gang member’s location tracked on his phone. Sometimes I wondered what was so special about us to have to keep all of us in check 24/7--

One time Hercules and I went shopping a little too late after sunset, part of me felt like a reckless teenager, probably because I was. I still remember Alexander’s face when I entered my own apartment, he looks identical every time.

In an attempt to shelter me, my body curled into itself against the wall. I shrunk to the floor, feeling his shadow intensely stand above me.

“Arghh!—“ the sound spilled out of me when I felt Alexander’s shin connect with my rib cage.

My lungs felt punctured under the pressure.

My arms felt like they could give out any second.

Part of me had wished I’d stay at Thomas’s place tonight, even if it meant telling him the truth.

What a predicament I’ve gotten myself into.

I looked up, wondering if my torment was over until I was met with a —Crack— Alexander’s knee encountered my face.

It was only a moment before I could hear the shuffling of the others’ shoes. I prayed they were coming to help me out.

Alexander lifted his glass of alcohol, previously forgotten, and hauled it towards me

Crash!

The piercing shards of glass combining with the stinging alcohol were the last thing I needed on a Saturday night. I didn’t notice the tears falling from my eyes until now, and the way my heart felt like it was just on a rollercoaster.

I kept my head low, watching blood drip down my face and onto the floor below me. And apparently, I wasn’t the only one to notice.

“Alex! What the fuck?!” I heard Laurens yell

“Are you trying to kill her?!?” I recognized Lafayette’s scream

Before Alex was able to make another blow, Lauren and Lafayette were quick to hold him back, attempting to calm him down.

Hercules swiftly knelt beside me, the guilt was obvious in his gaze. I hated the pity in each of their glances towards me. He attempted to wipe away the blood from my forehead with a paper towel.

Alexander fought back against the two, trying his best to prove his point. There’s the Hamilton we all know, unwilling to stand down no matter the cost.

Hercules turned back to me, his words were ready to leave his mouth from the moment we reconnected eyes.

“Y/N..” He pulled me up and shoved me out of my apartment door. “..Run.” I almost stumbled into a nearby pole, but I began running, if running in my condition was possible, back to Thomas’s place.

—-

[events of chapter 1]

The next thing I knew, I woke up in Thomas’s bed beside him. I took a moment to soak in the feeling of his satin sheets. Part of me can’t recall the events before I passed out in front of Thomas’s apartment, or maybe my mind refuses to remember them.

The sun hasn’t risen yet.

I turn to my side and reach for my phone, wincing from the pressure applied to my rib cage.

The bright light of my phone hitting my eyes felt like I was transported to another dimension.

54 notifications:

12 calls from Lafayette 🥐

24 texts from Lafayette 🥐

1 text from Alexander 💡

3 calls from Mariah 💋

14 texts from Mariah 💋

“oh fuck..” I sigh, wondering how things will play out.

Out of curiosity, I open the message from Alexander. Perhaps it’s an apology? Maybe a reminder?

Alexander 💡: I know where you are, Y/N. Don’t drag your friend into this. Because I can.

Where I am? I ask myself

My heart dropped, remembering that Alexander tracks my location 24/7. He knows where I am at this very second.

By escaping to Thomas’s apartment, I’ve just dragged him into this mess I’ve made. If my worlds collide, it would all be because I ran to this exact apartment.

Panic once again rushed through my body.

I need to get out of here. I need to leave.

I slip out from under the sheets and grab my belongings. Unprepared for what’s to come, I steal one of Thomas’s jackets from his cluttered desk chair. I’ll give it back eventually, I thought to myself.

After I put on my shoes I take one last glance toward Thomas.

He seems so peaceful when he’s asleep, tangled in his blanket, not to mention his name-brand Mac and cheese pajama pants.

I’m sorry if I drag you into this, Thomas, you just wouldn’t understand.

Taglist <3: @kenmacrumbs @strayblades @laic2299 @ohsoverykeri

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cosmiciaria · 4 years ago

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Assasin’s Creed III Remaster review - Spoilers! - Long post!

I wanted to keep this spoiler free, but as this game is such a narrative experience, I don't think I'll be able to. I'll try to keep them at minimum, but be warned: there are major spoilers ahead. By the way, this game is almost a decade old, so y'all had plenty of time to get spoiled beforehand. And if you're reading this, it's because you like this game and you probably know how it ends.

Review under the cut because this is way too long.

As always, I express my feelings and impressions regarding my experience with a game – I write it because I like writing reviews instead of, I don't know, recording a video for YouTube. I'm not a YouTuber and I feel safer behind a keyboard where people don't point out about my weird accent (the accent every Hispanic person has when they speak English). Since the pandemic started, I found refuge and comfort in AC games, with Syndicate being my first contact with the franchise, and Unity solidifying my love for it. I found strength and weaknesses in all the installments I've played, which are almost all of them by now (excluding the first AC with Altaïr, the new saga with Origins, Odyssey and Valhalla, and Rogue). I've also platinumed three of those games I've played, and I'm on my way to platinum this one, so I think I can speak from a deep fan standpoint by now.

Since Syndicate, I studied from up close each of the protagonists of the mainline games. I felt drawn to Arno because he looked like one of my oc's (and his girlfriend looked like my oc's girlfriend as well); I wanted to learn about Ezio because he's a fan favorite; I wasn't at all impressed by Edward but ended up growing fond of him; I respect Altaïr for what he means to the Brotherhood; but I can safely say, that I haven't felt as attracted to a main AC protagonist as I felt with Connor.

From the moment I knew he was a native American (such a bold choice, it seemed for me) I felt instant attraction – but not the, idk, physical (he's a cutie I give it to you), but because of what he could bring about as a main character. A perspective we don't usually get to see, and personally, as I'm not American, a point of view to educate me on a different side of history. I wanted to see what they could do with him as the star of the game, I wanted to play with him and understand how someone like him could rise up and become a protagonist of such a well known and beloved saga of games. I applaud this decision from Ubisoft, whether they did it because they wanted to look progressive or not, I don't care, I'll always cherish that the protagonist of a famous videogame is a Mohawk. And with the American Revolution as the main stage, no less. Such an important scenario to strengthen the virtue of independence, patriotism and love for a country, going hand in hand with a character that represents America even more than the Founding Fathers.

(Also I'm a Hamilton Fan Trademark so I couldn't stop singing random parts of songs while playing this game, it was a nightmare every time Lafayette appeared on screen because I JUST HAD TO start mumbling Guns and Ships)

I lunged blindly into this game – I'd only spoiled myself the very ending because I played Black Flag before – so imagine my surprise when I first saw Haytham, Connor's father, as the main protagonist.

So here's the deal. Let's clear this out of the way.

I thoroughly enjoyed the game. It was what I expected and more.

But.

Yes, there's always a but in AC games, you know the drill.

As I kept playing with Haytham, charming though he was, I kept thinking to myself "ok but when does Connor come into play". I also already knew Haytham was a Templar, so the end of the first few sequences didn't catch me by surprise – actually, what caught me by surprise was that there was no mention of Assassins or Templars during the "prologue" with Haytham, instead you're left to believe they're all Assassins until he prays to the Father of Understanding and you realize with a gasp "oH NoO!".

You play with Haytham the first three sequences. One of these have the most memories out all of the sequences more or less. This whole thing can take up to three to five hours depending on how much time you wish to put into exploring or completing the optional objectives. And still no signs of Connor.

Connor does come eventually – as a child – by sequence 4. It's not until the end of sequence 5 that you get to play as (almost) adult Assassin Connor, so maybe five or six or even seven hours into the game and you're barely starting.

I know what they did here. I understand. And this is what I meant when I said they were going for a 'narrative experience'. To make you play as Haytham before, to lure you into a false sense of safety believing he was an Assassin working for a just cause, to make you feel invested in his relationship with Ziio – only to discover he's one of the bad guys, that will eventually give birth to our true hero of the game – it sediments everything perfectly. It tells you everything you need to know to understand these characters and their motivations. I can see where they're going and some of it can be quite predictable, but it was done right. On the narrative aspect at least.

I got used to Haytham by the time we switch to Connor, we're used to his cloak and his three pointed hat – his accent, his sassiness, his everything. You grow fond of him and you think, hey, maybe it isn't so bad to not play as Connor, I can roll with this – until the sudden change happens. The game completed its purpose: let you know and care for Haytham, only to strip him away from your hands and bring you the real protagonist with an interesting background that didn't need to be told, but it was instead shown to us players. What a better way to tell a story.

But the problem is – most of Haytham's memories are fillers. For starters, the very first memory where you appear in the opera house (similar to that one at the end of Black Flag… mmm) serves as a tutorial for climbing and killing with the hidden blade. Then the whole memory on the ship to Boston – completely expendable and removable, the story doesn't suffer from it. All the memories used with Haytham as tutorials – how to shield from an open line of fire, how to use ranged weapons, how to sneak and find stores and viewpoints, how to use horses and walk on snow, fricking Ben Franklin – everything, everything could've blended in better. You could still tell the story you wanted in only one sequence playing with Haytham, and end it the way it does end in sequence 3, without avoiding any important detail to frame Connor's backstory as well – but instead, this part with Haytham does feel like it overstays its welcome, and by the end you're just hoping it ends soon, it drags on for too long, and there's no real sense of thread pulling the strings together here, everything just kind of 'happens'.

But the never-ending prologue doesn't end there (badam tum tsss), because Connor still isn't an Assassin. Connor is not Connor actually, as I had been led to believe prior to playing this game: his real name is Ratonhnhaké:ton, which I wish it was used more often than it was. Ratonhnhaké:ton is like four or five years old when you first play with him, and his village is assaulted by what we assume are Charles Lee's men, a Templar and companion to Haytham. Ratonhnhaké:ton swears revenge upon these putrid British invaders and he grows up resenting the death of his mother, who died in the fire provoked by these Templars.

Not even knowing what a Templar or an Assassin is, Ratonhnhaké:ton is sent by one of "the spirit guides" (actually, Juno, one of the Precursor people) to seek the Brotherhood. When he's around 14, he sets out of his village into the wide world and finds Achilles, who will become his Assassin mentor – that is, after completing a set of tasks that yet again seem to go on forever. Ratonhnhaké:ton turns into Connor to cover his true origins, a name I thought it was random, but by the end I realized how wrong I was.

It isn't until Connor turns 17 that he becomes a fully-fledged Assassin – and you might think, well, Ezio became an Assassin at the same age – yes, but it didn't take him five sequences to reach there. I can't believe I'm defending Ezio.

It's not that I didn't enjoy playing as Connor when he was a kid, no, and I also don't think that part of the game should be skipped since it shows his people, family and friends – maybe comprised, yes, into only one sequence – the real problem here is the fact that first you need to play what could be considered the longest prologue ever, even longer than Kingdom Hearts 2's one, and you're teased with grasping the real protagonist but no, because there's still more 'prologue' to cover with Connor's rise to the Brotherhood. The real, real story, begins in sequence 6, and even then you still have a lot of tutorials to listen from the NPC on duty.

And if you do the maths – you're halfway through the game – halfway! – and you're just starting. The game has twelve sequences and the meat of the plot is on the last six. Then, why did I play all the previous parts?

For the 'narrative experience' thing I talked about. They wanted to lay the groundwork for a better, compelling storytelling, and I can appreciate it, but not when it hinders the pace of the game this way.

That is, certainly, my biggest issue with the game. The pace. If you're going to give me such a slow start, introducing characters non-stop, and only give me resolutions, discoveries and action packed sequences on the later half, then the story isn't balanced at all – I understand that at some points you need to slow down and sink in what's going on; you can't also introduce ten characters in one cutscene because that's just bad story telling – but the memories of this game are clearly not well organized and weren't thought with the player in mind, but rather with the story in mind. To think that the first mission you do as a full Assassin is to receive more and more tutorials on how the fast travel points work and how you can lower your notoriety (as far as gameplay goes in this mission, it's only walking around at a slug's pace to follow the NPC giving you instructions) it does feel like a slap in the face after all the things and hours and effort you put into it to finally reaching this point (which, I remind you, it's by sequence six!).

It's at this point where I can't blame people for not following through with this game. I have plenty of friends who abandoned it even before reaching this part. And I found myself having trouble to return to it: I only wanted to go back to it because I knew I had to like Connor, I knew he wouldn't disappoint me as a character.

Boy, was I RIGHT!

Now, to be honest, I may be biased, like I said: I was instantly attracted to Connor due to his backstory and I wished to see what he could bring to the table. And I have to say, he didn't disappoint me at all.

Maybe you know or maybe you don't, but up until this point, my fave Assassin was Arno: he showed weaknesses and he suffered the consequences of his actions, to the point of no return, that rendered him vulnerable and a mere human being. And I love me a good vulnerable character who knows their limits and strives to get out of that pit. I love me a good, compelling character that has growth and agency and isn't made of cardboard or has a one-dimensional personality. And Connor delivered on this front.

Connor might very well be my new fave Assassin. I'm sorry, Arno. I still love you babe. But Connor… I never found myself rooting for a character more than I did with him. I wanted him to succeed, I wanted his people to be saved, I wanted to see his ideals become a reality – and he's got so much agency, he's a storm when he comes into a scene, his naivety mixed with the brutality of his killings, the simplicity of his reasonings – he's an idealist, and he fights for it, whether we like it or not, and that devotion to his own creed is at least respectable, let alone admirable. He's never downplayed for his upbringing or his ethnicity, he works among the most notorious people as if he was another one of them, he's well respected in his community, he shows kindness and always offers a helping hand to those in need, but never doubts to plunge his blade into this opponent's throats, fearlessly, he doesn't mind telling George Friking Washington to shut the hell up and not follow him because he'll kill him (there's such a pleasure in a native reprimanding enslaver Washington) – he's, simply put, a great hero.

I've seen many complain that he's boring, or that the actor who played him, Noah Watts, delivered lines in an emotionless way – the only thing that could make him 'boring' is the fact that he's not a lady's man like Ezio was, and to my eyes that's a plus. He speaks slowly and modulates well in English because that's not his mother tongue, and I can appreciate when a company puts these little details, like his way of speaking changing throughout the game as he gained more confidence with this new language he was learning to use. As non-English native speaker, I certainly can commune with the feeling of adapting my tongue and my brain to a new language, and I also know that I speak weirdly to those who are native, maybe I don't have the same intonations, and maybe I sound emotionless as well, who knows, but I can't think of a better portrayal of a non-English character speaking English in videogames than this one. They remained faithful to his culture, and even though I noticed Noah didn't speak Mohawk as fluently as English, I can still feel pleased with the fact that Connor speaks in his mother tongue in all of the scenes he interacts with Mohawks (that's something they did better here than in Unity, where not a single character has even a French accent. I switched the language spoken to French in my subsequent playthroughs, much to my disappointment, because I really liked the Canadian actors). I know subtitles may seem threatening to some, but I wish they did this more often: deliver more lines in the original language of each of the protagonists. It shows care and respect. And I think this game excels at respect.

So, yes, I liked Ratonhnhaké:ton, as you can see. Maybe a lot. Too much.

I also really, really enjoyed his relationship with Haytham.

When Haytham appears back in to the fray it's when the plot picks up. Their interactions are gold: I love the rivalry, I love that Haytham is constantly testing his son, and I love the tiny bits that may show or make us believe that Haytham has a soft spot for him – I love that we never truly know what's going on through Haytham's mind, why does he do the things he does – but what I enjoyed the most about these two fighting together is the fact that they represent opposing forces, a clash of interest, and they bring back the concept of the blurred line between the Templars and the Assassins, their different methods. Haytham represents the collectiveness of the Templars, through him we learn of what they truly uphold as right and just, and behind some of his reasonings you can see sense and understanding – you comprehend his goals, you get to know your enemy, your antagonist, which is something, for instance, the Ezio trilogy lacks (because Templars bad bad pium pium die Templar bad guy) and Unity and Rogue tried to do but ultimately ended wasting its potential. I never understood Templars more than I did through Haytham, and sometimes I found myself nodding at some of his statement, like 'hey… huh… he's not that wrong about this…'. But still, we're led to believe that the good guys, the Assassins, are never wrong, so we pull through with Connor – only to realize that yes, Haytham was right in many aspects, and yes, Haytham has lied to us and he needs to be stopped.

It's here when my love for Connor reached its ultimate stage: when he denies both his father (Templars) and Washington (for whom the Assassins were working). It's here where you see the true agency of this character. It's not black or white, as Ezio's games were; it's not that he was expelled against his will from the Brotherhood like in Unity; it's not that because of a clash of interest now he resorted to the Templars, like in Rogue; no, it's the philosophy of the very first AC game with Altaïr: Templars and Assassins are one and the same, they only differ in their methods, and when Connor comes to this realization, his struggle is visible and he puts his people first. Like always.

He remains true to his personality. He's grown, he's seen the truth, but he must make a decision. And after all, we're here because we want to see him protect his people. That's his real main driving force and we root for him because of it.

Now, I've spoken a lot about our main character. But, what about the secondary ones?

Achilles, Connor's mentor, hides more than he's willing to share – but slowly his backstory unfolds. In his homestead, Davenport, you're able to build a community with different townsfolk that you can invite to live with you through special sidequests, which combine plot and gameplay seamlessly. Through the homestead missions, you get to know Achilles and the other inhabitants and you see them thrive and grow into a tight-knit community close as family. I daresay that these missions were my favorite out of the whole game, and seeing the town grow not only in NPC's walking around but also in sounds, steps, people working and laughing and dogs barking and kids playing, gave me all the fuzzy and cozy feelings of a warm blanket in winter. Most of Connor's innocence and kindness is shown through these missions, and there are also some really good jewels hidden there, like the quest that asks you to guide the pigs back inside – damn. This game gave me very good laughs.

On a gameplay level, this game is light years away from its predecessors – the parkour alone has been revamped and revitalized, making it more fluid. Free running now isn't a chore anymore. Now you can hunt, which is a great part of Connor's backstory and culture, so it's good to see they blend gameplay with plot like this. There's a crafting system that took me ages to understand, but thankfully I got the hang of it. The combat is pretty much the same (counter kills always for the win) and the difficulty remains quite easy, as the games that came before. I wasn't looking for a challenge so I'm fine with it. Now, if you're looking for a challenge… the optional objectives got it covered for you. Because, good lord, they made these stupid main missions so much unnecessarily HARDER and IMPOSSIBLE to complete without having three or four ragequits and sometimes you have to restart up to ten times. To be honest, I never found myself more enraged with the optional objectives than I was with these missions, and I thought Unity's optional constraints were stupid ass complicated, I was wrong. This game. Must be. The most. Annoying. Piece of videogame. To platinum.

Apart from the 'oh I want to die optional objectives' thing, you have naval missions – which, yes, you guessed it, take place on a ship – I guess they were testing the mechanics for a (not so far away) future pirate game, because I can see the seeds of what later Black Flag came to be. It's serviceable and it fulfills its purpose, but as I don't like ships much, I left it on hold for the endgame.

If you don’t dig the naval missions nor the main missions, there’s plenty to do in this game: you have the aforementioned homstead missions, the club challenges (which can take... quite a while), the underground fast travel points (a nice change of pace, though you can easily grow tired of them), the liberation missions, which will see you help liberate a city from Templar control and recruiting a new Assassin apprentice, much like in Brotherhood and Revelations; taking Forts, hunting like there’s no tomorrow, courier, delivering items and message delivery missions, a ton of collectibles, etc, etc.

You might realize I stopped talking about the plot by the time I reached sequence 6 – yes, it's because I'm a little upset with it.

I said that we're here because we want to see Connor protect his people and triumph against the Templars. Yes. We receive that, yes. Amidst. A thousand. History. Lessons.

In my Ezio's Collection review, I complained that in Revelations we were shoved history in the face – I hadn't still finished AC3, because then I would've mentioned something about it. Connor comes across all the important figures of the American Revolution in such a contrived way – he acts as a guardian angel of this revolution, aiding each of the emblematic characters that took part in. I can roll with it in my suspension of disbelief (how come this one person was present at every major event, you know), what I can't roll with is the fact that he was present at the Declaration of Independence – this is some Ken Follett level of bs of probability of something happening to a character. Besides, it's always latent though never truly explicitly addressed, but Connor's skintone was something that should've deterred him from even speaking to someone like Washington – let alone, be present at the moment they signed the Declaration. He does mention at some point that freedom and this new nation was only for white men, and that he acknowledged that slaves deserved as much freedom as everyone else was fighting for; I'm glad he addressed the elephant in the room, though I'm also glad they didn't make the whole thing about it, because normalizing a character like this as a main protagonist was the main idea, I think, when they chose a Mohawk to represent the American Revolution. Still, that someone like him was able to achieve all he achieved in a plot like this, it only means he has some kind of Main Protagonist Shield, otherwise I doubt this could've served as a realistic story for anyone else in the same situation as him. It's, uh, a little hard to believe, that's all. Whereas I can see Arno existing within the historical frame of the French Revolution, without being the one that let the guillotine fall on King Louis' head, this one was a little more far-fetched.

I haven't touched upon the Desmond part – the present day of this game is more, uh… present than ever. And I loved it! I loved it because it delved deep into the Precursor's lore, and also it fleshed out Desmond's relationship with his father, and we actually do shit with Desmond – though that part of the Brazilian stadium, huh, for a company that paid too much attention and consulted with experts on the Mohawks, they clearly left Brazil out of their investigations. I forgive them, they tried.

The music… didn't have as much personality as other installments, it was kind of there, and right now I can't evoke a single theme except for the main menu one, so there you go, it's quite forgettable for my taste, sadly.

I forgot to mention that: this game looks gorgeous. I played the Remastered version of the game, and sometimes it looked like it was done for the PS4 instead of being a remaster (it does look better than Black Flag which came afterwards!). Lighting is magical, the trees breathe life into the screen, the water effects are crystal and realistic; many times I felt like was horse-riding in a Last of Us game (yes, I just compared Ubisoft to Naughty Dog, don't hit me). Davenport Homestead is my favorite location, now more than ever, because it's not only beautiful, but it also means home.

This game accompanied me in a very important moment of my life: I sprained my ankle and I spent a week in bed recovering, while also pondering about my job and the prospects of my future; I took many decisions while playing regarding what I want for my life. I cried at the end because I realized I had become too attached to the characters and because I was so sad to see Connor keep losing things. It all comes full circle by the end. It's a very mature ending, maybe a little unfulfilling, but reality is often disappointing and not everything needs a happily ever after.

All in all, my major complaint goes to the structure of the game and the poor organization they gave to it (AND THE OPTIONAL OBJECTIVES DAAJKSDAD). But Connor as a character in itself made it all worthwhile for me. And I'll always cherish him. I know he won't resonate with everyone, but he resonated with me.

#videogame review #review #assasins creed iii #ac3 #aciii #connor kenway #ratonhnhaké:ton #ubisoft #haytham kenway #assassins creed #assassins creed 3

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chronicas · 4 years ago

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Wanted to infodump about the symbolism of Array of Cicadas more so I’m making a separate post.

Symbolism plays a big part of my art, even if a lot of my designs are more simplistic. However, Nora is a very symbolic character, her role in the story is one that represents great change, transmutation. The main theme of Array of Cicadas is change and transformation. My main influence stems from being trans and having to deal with the consequences of change.

Nothing stays the same forever, sometimes you become someone new, sometimes the people you love exit your life. Ultimately, that’s what AoC is about The cicada itself, is a symbol of transformation and change.

Akira is a character who is going through a lot of hardships at the start of the story. She’s dealing with grief and she’s struggling with connecting to her family and people around her. In this sense, Akira is me, she’s my struggles and my pain, but she’s also my hope.

Devan is the change in Akira’s life, he’s the positive change. He represents all my friends and also a piece of myself I lost a long time ago. He’s also one of the younger characters in AoC, which is to say, he’s the future. Akira might be the protagonist, but really the thing that helps her the most, is helping Devan grow into the real hero.

Colors play a big part in AoC also, there’s two colors in particular that I use in almost all the designs. Red is the most common color in all of my art, red and black are the colors of the Izebellian Emperor, they’re also the colors of the Machine God. Red is the primary color in Akira’s design. It represents a lot of things for me, but the primary meaning in AoC is pain. Pain that someone is feeling, pain that is inflicted on others. Of course, it also sticks with it’s usual theme of anger.

Akira’s anger is more subtle, it’s in her fighting and in her mannerisms. It’s an anger that’s hard to direct at anyone because it stems from her struggles and grief. Her pain is similar, it’s mostly pain that can’t go away, it’s prominent in her design because it’s something she has to live with. Grief especially isn’t something that goes away. Her story is more focused on how to live with that pain more than it is to get rid of it.

Leo’s red is more subtle in his design. He has lots of other colors and is less monochromatic than most of the main cast. Leo’s had it pretty good, his family always lived comfortably and he didn’t have too many hardships. His anger and his pain are both for his friends. Leo is very empathetic, he takes on a lot of the pain that Caz and Devan aren’t able to deal with. Leo is an adult, while Caz and Devan are both kids, he feels the responsibility to take care of them.

Izebel’s red is simple, she was created from anger, like, almost literally. She’s been forced to shoulder the burden of Circe’s rage since she was born. Her own pain is buried deep under mounds of denial, she doesn’t want to face things that are hurting her so she lashes out at others instead. Izebel doesn’t get a confrontation until much later on, so her story is focused more on her antagonist role than anything.

Vonstantine only has a little bit of red in her design, most of the colors in her palette are cool colors, contrasted only by one article of clothing. Which is, literally, not a part of her. She doesn’t have any reason to be as angry as she is, her actions aren’t justified. Vonstantine isn’t quote unquote “irredeemable”, she’s just spoiled. She’s used to getting things her way and she’s mad that things aren’t working out for her. She represents pretty much everything all the other antagonists aren’t. She wants power and pretty much doesn’t care about anything else. She was raised with legends about her ancestors and created a false image of Karma in her mind that she aspired to be like. She’s honestly one of the most two dimensional characters I’ve ever made. Which is on purpose of course, although a big theme of AoC is change and redemption, I also wanted to acknowledge that some people don’t change and stick to one mindset their whole lives.

Karma’s red is [REDACTED]... a uh, major plot point. I can’t really go into detail about it.

Teal is the other most prominent color. The main color palette of AoC is plum, teal, yellow, and lavender. (Like just look at my theme over on @noxsylvania if you wanna see the EXACT colors I always use) Each of them have their own meaning. They’re associated with four things that will come up a lot in the lore of AoC. Teal is The Cicada, Lavender is The Sky, Plum is The Chasm, and Yellow is The Eyes.

Teal, the color of The Cicada, has the same meaning as the cicada itself, change and transformation. It also represents growth.

Devan is like Akira design wise, pretty monochromatic. His teal is of course representative of his role as a force of change in Akira’s life, but also represents his growth and the change he goes through throughout the story.

Vonstantine’s teal actually represents... negative change. She’s going to get worse ON PURPOSE. For her, it’s more of a desire for change, but because of the kind of person she is, it’s unlikely she’d actually accept the change that she needs to make.

Caz is like Leo in that she’s much more colorful. The teal in her design is more of an accent than a prominent color in her design. For Caz, this color represents her growth and recovery from her grief.

Yellow represents power. It mostly comes in the form of gold. It accents a good amount of characters designs. Like Akira and Vonstantine. Only a few characters have it as a prominent part of their design.

Leo has a lot of yellow in his design that’s more representative of his... i don’t know a better way to phrase it other than “political” or social power. Leo as a member of the Lenoir family, holds a lot of high status. However, it’s not resemble as gold on his design because Leo is VERY humble, it’s more of just something that is a part of his life and he’s more casual about it.

Azar’s design is completely yellow and other warm colors. He’s basically a physical manifestation of power and cool magic shit. He’s the spirit of a warrior that lived like 300 years ago and lives inside a super magical ass sword. Him representing power should be self explanatory.

Lavender represents peace and Plum represents death. There’s not any characters with lavender in their design that show up before Cryptadia, so I’ll skip over it. Plum is an undertone in Akira’s design as well as Karma’s (temporarily).

For Akira, it directly and 100% represents Takara’s death. For Karma, it’s representative of fucking... all the regicide she’s committed. I mean, she’s called the Regicidal Regent. It’s kinda her thing. However, as I mentioned, for Karma it’s temporary, the cloak she wears throughout the story is ditched the second you face off against her during her boss fight. This represents a few things.

Every single Gjalleon wears a hood or something else that obscures their face. This doesn’t always have a deep meaning and is just a fun thing about their character design. Devan’s hood has the most symbolic significance. Devan doesn’t like being a Gjalleon and tends to hide this fact from everyone, the Gjalleon’s descend from the Dragon God, Gjalleon as well as Karma, who was SUPER infamous because she [REDACTED]. As a result of [REDACTED], the Gjalleon’s became pretty hated by most people. Vonstantine used this to make people respect her through fear. Devan could care less about the Gjalleon family and hasn’t even MET anyone else in the Gjalleon family besides his dad. So he wears a hood to hide his obviously Gjalleon features and only goes by his mother’s surname. His hoodie is ALSO his comfort jacket!!! VERY IMPORTANT DETAIL!! The hood doesn’t symbolize much for Vonstantine other than it being the soul source of red in her design, when she takes it off to fight Devan, it’s her removing her visage, that her anger everything else was just a lie to get what she wanted. For Karma, it’s the soul source of plum in her design, it basically represents malice. Removing it symbolizes that she has no malicious intent towards the gang, mainly because she sees them all as children.

Most other colors I use follow pretty normal symbolism and not every character with these colors has it in their design for a specific reason. For Morah, red just looks good on her.

Anyways if anyone wants, I will go into the symbolism of the Cryptadia cast also.

#IM SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG IT WASNT SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS!!!#long post #infodump #shut up kellington #array of cicadas

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chaoticspacefam · 4 years ago

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2020 In Review: Wordcount Tag

I was tagged for this by @actualanxiousswampwitch , thank you! I’m not sure who’s already done or been tagged for this cause I am, once again, late to the party LOL but I shall (no pressure and sorry if you’ve already done it!) tag: @rainofaugustsith , @darth-bagel , @thatmmolesbian , @thelastenvoyyy and anybody else who wants to do this. Yes, I promise I mean you!

Words: 45,314

Published: 0 (I’m not counting the couple of Six Sentence tags I’ve gotten, they’re snippets of an unfinished piece & are included below instead :), or roleplay replies, cause that feels like cheating lol.) I actually wrote a lot more than I thought I had, this is a rough guesstimate as well, as my oneshot WIPs tend to be all over the place across something like 6 different documents, some of which have existed since 2018, so I had to guess at how far up to count from the end for some of them, but I think it’s a fair guesstimate XD I also have included lore/worldbuilding docs in this because that was a 3-month long Lockdown 1.0 Boredom/”Canon is a trash fire so I’m ignoring that and making up my own lore” passion project and I’m goddamn proud of how much I wrote for that. It’s the most I’ve written in one stretch (think I finished it over a span of 3 nights or so, once I’d done all the research and made all the notes ofc ^^)

Not Published: 45,314

The Breakdown:

swtor - 45,314

for creeping shadows (my main longfic/part one of the subterfugeverse series) - 1,553 - Aria, stop being difficult! *shakes fists* XD

oneshots - 16,223

lore/worldbuilding (for subterfugeverse naturally) - 23,001 (is this ALL tomato alien lore? pretty much, yes, yes it is :’D ~400 words is “the WIP reworked timeline to correlate my worldbuilding with the canon timeline that was released”, but 98% is just...me thinking way too much about Purebloods and how they deserved way better goddamn lore. I blame @fluffynexu ‘s amazing tomato worldbuilding posts, reading them when I went looking for “canon” lore one day for the rp is what got me started down that rabbithole (it’s awesome and if you haven’t already you should totally go check hers out too :DD), I had a “fuck you then canon I’ll do it myself too >:L” moment and once I started I couldn’t stop until I’d crapped out literally over 20k words on the subject *whispering* thank you LOL)

zephyrverse au bonus oneshots - 4,537 (stuff I wrote to fill in time gaps or “just cause I had a plot bunny”, relating to mine and k-christine’s zephyrverse au rp. None of these will likely be posted publicly, but they still deserve to be counted as words I wrote this year :’D

As you can see, most of my “muse” this year came from sporadic oneshots :’D The Ahaszaai twins also properly plot-bunnied their way into my brain in late 2019 and haven’t stopped making a nuisance of themselves the whole fucking year. Every time I tried to carry on with a chapter, one of the two of them would pop up like “Nooo write about ME! pay attention to ME!” - Yes, Ni’kasi, I will get to you this year, I promise XD

New Things I Tried:

Just Writing. Not worrying about whether “it wasn’t part of the next chapter” or “it comes from a part in the story that I’m nowhere near close to posting yet”. If I felt like writing something, or for a specific pairing/feeling/scene, whatever. I wrote until I ran outta muse juice. Yeah, it meant I didn’t technically “finish” anything this year BUT - the important thing is I wrote stuff. and that’s all that really matters, eh? :’D

Polyam ships! May not seem like a big deal but I spent a long time talking myself out of them because of internalised toxic monogamy and finally saying “you know what, fuck it! I can ship three or more people together and it can still be a perfectly wholesome, healthy and loving relationship and that’s okay” was a BIG thing for me this year.

Dialogue Scripts: which I didn’t count as wordcount because really it’s just word vomit of general tone/inflection and dialogue that I came up with right before falling asleep which I didn’t want to lose. Basically, if an exchange or a particularly punchy or moving line of dialogue popped into my brain but I wasn’t ready to write the whole scene that it fit into out, but didn’t want to forget the line(s). I wrote it out in movie script/script-style roleplay fashion e.g. Character’s Name: (emotion, hand gestures etc.) [Dialogue here] and so on. I know this is probably a well known trick of the trade, but I never took it seriously until this year. Seriously, do it. It’s great.

Favorite Thing I Wrote:

Hmmm, a snippet for Andronikos/Ni’kasi that I started this week which isn’t posted yet (saving it for this week’s Six Sentence Sunday so look out for it! :D) was pretty fun to work on, I love their dynamic and Kas is suprisingly fun to write for.

Also the Aria/Vano proposal scene that I posted a snippet for the week before last. I’m having great fun with that scene, and I really enjoy putting a non-serious spin on the classic “proposal scene” tropes. Can’t wait to finish it, though it may be a while before the full one goes up on AO3, as it depends whether it ends up fitting in as part of the mainfic or as an additional oneshot

And I have a D’leah/Kissai oneshot that I need to give another once-over before I finally yeet it onto AO3 and Tumblr for you guys to see :’D

Favorite Fic I Read:

@sleepswithvillains Eleanora/Quinn fic, Helplessly Hoping. I’m horribly behind on chapters and I gotta catch up and read the finale this week, but it’s been a helluva great ride and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the story! <3

Also The Invitation collab with @tishinada featuring Zas and Fiona had me squealing, I can’t wait to catch up on HH and see more of these two, they’re adorable ;-; @a-muirehen ‘s Relu/Merkara series of course! I’m a complete sucker for (friends to lovers to in Ariano’s case but yea pfpfpf) enemies to lovers ships and these two are just so good, I am on the edge of my seat every time we get a new snippet for them, ngl (grimace emoji) @darth-bagel ‘s Sylvas/Graz’zt and Sylvas/Liz/Rilfaen snippets which they’ve been spoiling me with on Discord @mercurypilgrim ‘s Ven’fir/Quinn AU oneshots, Cloudbank (Western was a particular favourite, but all are very good!) and of course @rainofaugustsith ‘s Lana/Viri updates are always fantastic, some personal favourites from this year were Almost There & Memory of Healing :3 (I totally still go back to read Commander & Advisor too sometimes, getting to see Viri be a little diabolical and messing with “MiNiSTeR LoRMaN!” was and still is my favourite thing XD)

If I’ve left you out I’m sorry!! These were the ones that stuck out in my memory, but I’ve loved everyone’s writing this year, it’s been great :3

Writing Goals:

to actually finish and post chapter 8 & 9 of Creeping Shadows. Then we’ll get to the meat and potatoes of the story and maybe Aria will stop being a brat and fighting me every time I try to stick to a semi-regular update schedule Get off my butt, finalise the name and get started on Ni’kasi’s part of the Subterfugeverse story. Maybe run the updates in-tandem with Creeping Shadows but idk if I want to wait till after CS is done before I start posting Kas’s side, or do them side-by-side yet, we’ll see ;) Keep writing! I know better than to pressure myself by setting a specific word count goal, that’s never worked well in the past

At least 2 chapters of each of the works mentioned above would be great though, more would be better! We’ll see how I go

Words of Thanks:

honestly, to everybody in the fandom I’ve met this year. Anybody that I follow, thank you for being there and engaging with me and/or posting amazing content for me to look at! I came over from deviantART where the SWTOR fandom is incredibly small and generally quite inactive and the contrast since moving over here has been incredibly uplifting. I very nearly cancelled Creeping Shadows and stopped posting fic for my SWTORverse altogether because I got next to no engagement on dA and it was very disheartening to the point where I felt I could enjoy the game and the rp partners I had, but the solo projects I’d put so much thought, time and love into already weren’t worth continuing. You guys took that spark and kept it going and I really don’t have enough words to say how grateful I am for that. Even if I haven’t published much this year, making posts on this tumblr, interacting with everyone and working on lore, plot points and so on for Subterfugeverse has kept me going through the Hellish Year of Nightmares that was 2020 <3

to the amazing new friends I’ve made in this past year, who have listened to me ramble about headcanons, character backstories, writing snippets (and rambled/sent some back), keep being awesome: @walk-ng-d-saster , @darth-bagel , @kyber-heart , @deepseacritter , @thedinalixlegacy to further friends and meme tag buddies, I get so excited every time I see a mention for a new meme or ask game in my inbox, so thank you!! : @mimabeann , @palepinkycat , @a-master-procrastinator , @raven-of-domain-kwaad , @actualanxiousswampwitch , @thatmmolesbian , @a-muirehen to my regular commentors/rebloggers/likers/askbox lurkers, I see every one of you and every time your users pop up I grin like a kid in a toy shop: @starlightjedi , @sparkles-and-rust , @wilvarin-chan , @sunsetofdoom , @ask-an-andalite , @thelastenvoyyy . @lyrishadow and more because Tumblr only goes so far back and I have the memory of Swiss Cheese. If you regularly comment, like, reblog, or anything, from me, know that I see you, and I love and appreciate you for it! <3

I couldn’t possibly remember to tag everyone and I promise if I missed you out it’s not because I hate you! Anxiety just sometimes be a bitch and I don’t wanna look like a clown calling someone a “friend” if I’m not explicitly sure we are, in fact, friends. I think you’re all awesome and I’m so glad to have moved over here and met you all <3

#long post #wordcount year review tag #elven's writing: stats #repost bc i goofed some links woops sorry everyone #^^;#will i eventually post any of this stuff? yes!#i will. i just...don't know *when* the time will be right for most of it hahaha #the only bits i won't post are the zephyrverse-specific oneshots cause i just don't feel like i want to #but everything else will (eventually) in some capacity be thrown into the void for all of you to read #shameless friend appreciation post #shameless mutual and follower appreciation post #<3 #swtor sort of

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myonmukyuu · 4 years ago

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hot milk tea, thoughts and feelings

I’ve only mentioned it briefly, but I’ve said that I’ll be taking a break from my SetsuAyu series - mainly because of my uni workload though.

But for now, I have a lot of thoughts about the entire thing as a project as well as myself as an artist. So I figured that I’d write a reflection of sorts (warning: it gets kind of personal).

Can you believe it’s been 3-4 months since the series started? I can’t, and I’ve been the one drawing all of these!! If you’ve been reading my work, I’ll say it over and over but I really appreciate it!!! Like I’m dead serious!!! Completely!! Utterly!! Without a doubt!!! I love all of you!!!

When I posted that first comic, I didn’t think it’d get the positive reception that it did get. Like, I’ve been producing basically entirely Muse content for years and suddenly decided to tap into Nijigaku? You could argue that it didn’t get that much attention, but either way, the attention it did get surprised me. I was so happy that people were engaged (and it still makes me stupidly happy, like on a level where I’m almost embarrassed to admit HAHA)

Recently I’ve just uploaded the bonus for the 3rd update which wraps up that part, and it really just clicked - that I really have invested soooo much time into this series. 36 pages now! And we’re only 3/10 main updates in!! I have so much passion for this - like a fire that can’t be put out. Every single update has something that I want to communicate/show so I always feel fired up. Heck, if you’ve spoken to me during the process you’d catch me always saying “I’m excited for the next one!!!” while working on it LMAO. It’s been my longest string of non-stop work. Usually I feel burned out more quickly but I was always so excited that I couldn’t stop! You’d find that I’m usually in a state of conflict bc I alwaaaays want to talk about it but at the same time I don’t want to spoil anything. (THE NEXT UPDATE JUICY)

I think it’s a clear reminder of why I draw actually. The answer between each artist always differs, but I think it’s something important to be aware of. And well, for me? I’ve realised I’m a passion-monster. Passion keeps my blood pumping 100%. As a result... you could say I might be a more selfish kind of artist. Maybe it’s burn-out from running all those ask-blogs/RP when I was like 13-16, but I’ve realised that I’m having the most fun drawing what I genuinely love. It’s kind of why you’d rarely see me do requests and why I no longer do commissions. That isn’t to say that I hate drawing for other people. It can be fulfilling! But it’s more like - I barely have the time to draw for myself, so drawing for others is kind of a lower priority in general. It’s also why I’ve decided against studying graphic design when I graduated highschool. It’s just not happening as a career.

When I ask myself, “what kind of artist do I want to be?” I always think “Somebody who marches to her own beat and works hard to make content that she loves.” It’s also why I never delete anything - even my oldest art that makes me cringe. Because the me from 5 years ago put her love into that too. It’s really cheesy sounding but that’s how I see it LMFAO. I couldn’t do that to her. And also, just because I don’t like something anymore, it doesn’t mean that no one else does. So I’ll continue to never delete my old work. As a bonus, we get to see how far I’ve come too~.

I feel a little vulnerable admitting something like this and I’m pretty sure I’ve only told like 4 humans, but I think my #1 goal as an artist is that I want people to be able to look at my work (that I actually put my heart into) and think “this person loves this” or “this person works hard”. If you can do that, and sincerely feel the feelings I put into my comic, then I’ve already reached my goal. Can people tell how much I love these characters? The series? The concept? Can people tell how much work I’ve been putting into these updates? Can people tell when I’m having fun? It’s something I think about a lot. The idea of that people might think so makes me tear up HAHA - I get really sappy thinking about these kinds of things. And well, if people can’t tell then I’m not working hard enough!

That isn’t to say that I’m always putting my life-blood into everything I make. I’m mainly referring to the stuff where I do. I think it’s pretty clear when I’m pumping a lot of love into something. In general though, there’s always an intention for me to like communicate some idea or feeling and doing something like that requires maybe a bit of love~.

I feel like that as a character, Setsuna really resonates with me a lot. In personality? Not at all LMFAOOOO (she’s such a nice girl!!). More because of her ideals and principles. After typing like everything that I did up until this point, I bet you can guess why. I’ll keep it short and simple though, since this post is getting stupidly long.

Basically, I really resonate with her drive and passion as both an artist, and just in general actually? I’m a believer in that if you’re passionate about something, you can spread that passion. That’s the mentality I have with my art. If my love shows, then maybe other people will understand why I’ve come to love something. And maybe they’ll come to love it too. If I’m having fun, maybe they will have fun too! Very cheesy, I know, but that’s just how I roll!!!

Like rare pair? New fandom? Still applies. It might take awhile, but eventually either the people who love that thing will find me, or I’ll help people come to love something new (or at least see where it’s coming from lolol)!

And as Setsu says:

You tell ‘em girl !!! That devotion is my driving force!!

Of course I know this is idealistic, but I think that’s fine. It’s no bother to me if someone feels indifferent/ negative towards my work because that’s just natural.

I think it’s a form of communication and that’s what drives my art. I’ve been intending on writing a guide/ or talking about my art process for comics for some time now and I think that’d be the first thing I’d mention? I’m always trying to communicate some sort of feeling/tone/idea and that comes from a place of love y’know.

I feel like I’m saying “love” and “passion” a lot - you can really tell I’m vibing with Setsuna huh LMAO. There are other reasons I vibe with her too, but I won’t touch on that.

Coming back to my SetsuAyu series. You can tell why I’m so happy about it right? The story, the pairing dynamic, I feel like that people are understanding what I’m trying to communicate - that people are receiving my feelings of love for it and that makes me smile so widely. I really put a lot into it!!

This series is the first large project I’ve ever taken you see and I’m so so happy that I’ve been able to get this far! It really means a lot to me. But it wasn’t actually the first comic series I’ve tried to do. I actually had a Muse long-running comic planned years ago - a Dancing Stars on Me! AU but it never came to life. I think it was my lack of confidence that held me back. It might be weird of me to pat myself on the back, but I’m proud that I managed to get going this time!! I’ve actually written the SetsuAyu series in a way that for the first half, I could drop the series if I really wanted to at any point (each part is pretty independent, and that description I always copy-and-paste is all the explanation you really need), but now I know for sure that I don’t want to drop it! I wanna keep going!! Even if it gets tough. Although it might be a little early for me to make such bold declarations, I’m only 3/10 through LOOOL. But that’s just the way I feel right now!

I know it’s irrational and it’s something I’d rather not admit, but an anxiety that’s always looming over me is the idea that I’m not working hard enough - or that people think I’m not? Each comic update...takes like a month right? And a month is a long time. There’s this part of me that is convinced that people think I’m lazy for working so slowly. And I know it’s not true!! It doesn’t make sense for it to be!!! But like I said it’s irrational.

I’m really proud of this comic y’know. It’s a really big commitment and I’m proud of myself for being able to commit. I work full time 9-5, and I also am in my final year at university. I’m... kind of busy lol. So the huge factor in that month-long update turnaround is just that I don’t have the time to always be drawing. But I try to draw as much as I can! If you have me on discord you might notice me work on it for like 2-5 hours, almost daily before I go to bed (1am). Of course I’m not only drawing, but after I get everything plotted out sometimes that’s all I do. This comic is super time-consuming LMAO - and I try my best to work on it a little at a time.

So yeah, the entire month of comic-production is me drawing every almost every night.

Yeah it, - it’s kind of exhausting. Even though I’m itching to work on my next update, I’ve decided to take a break for uni crunch which is why I say the next one might be two months. It’s really odd though. The other night I was in bed feeling restless. It was so weird not drawing till 1am that I felt like I needed to be doing something. This comic series might have weird effects on my habits...

It makes me anxious thinking that it’d be so long till next update. But I’ll do my best to push that aside ! Hopefully I can get uni done and dusted ASAP! I want them to date dammit...

I've decided that I want to see this series through to the end. It’ll probably be May next year when that happens though LMAO! Please bear with my slow turnaround time. It’s only been 3 updates, but I can already see that I’m improving with each one. With each update I feel like I really learn from the previous and I always feel this sense of excitement with trying out new techniques and trying to create different feelings. I really want to see how the last updates will look compared to the first! Technically we’re 3/10 (10 is an epilogue), but after 6 I actually stop doing bonuses? So teeechnically I’m like 40% of the way through~.

It might be a little over-ambitious, but I kind of want to print it out and make a hard-copy when I’m done. I’m not sure about what the demand would be if I were to sell it, but I definitely want to print it for myself first and foremost (after touching up the earlier updates of course LOL). It’d be like a physical representation of my achievement. I hope I can make it there.

Anyways, I’ve rambled for far too long. I’m not sure why I suddenly felt like talking about uh, everything but yeaaaah. If you’ve read this far, kudos to you! You now have a window into my soul that I’m still not sure if I’m comfortable with revealing (but I’m comfortable enough because I’m posting this so...)!

After reading all of this, can you tell why I always get so so happy after each update? It’s the fruition of what’s usually 2-3 weeks of non-stop hard work! Seeing people connect with it always sends me to another realm of bliss and I always feel soft like putty LOL.

#myon speaks #HOLY MOLY #ITS 2K WORDS #no pressure for anyone to read all of this #its just me rambling into the air~#if you've been keeping up with my series: i just want to say thank you #this series is really important to me (i explain why in the post im not aboutta start rambling again)

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monysmediareview · 4 years ago

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Juliet, a novel by Ann Fortier Review

This time I have a review for a one-off book rather than a series for you guys and it may have actually reached the top of my list for favorite books ever. Juliet, a novel by Anne Fortier was so incredibly good I worry I’ll never be able to fully describe the way it made me feel reading it. I read this book incredibly slow because the idea of finishing it made me so upset; I didn’t want it to end but also found myself thinking about it constantly.

The Shakespeare of it All

When I found this book at goodwill, I figured I’d grab it just to see what it was. Having a degree in theatre and having studied Shakespeare in Europe, I even work for a Shakespeare specific theatre; I figured it would at the very least be interesting. And I was right, but for the wrong reasons. Shakespeare is barely mentioned as the book is actually about the true story of Romeo & Juliet.

If you don’t already know, Shakespeare stole the story of Romeo & Juliet from an Italian poet who wrote the story in the early to mid 1500’s. That story may have also been stolen from another author from France, and maybe even someone else before that. Thanks to the lack of records or copyright laws, there’s not really a way to be sure but we do know that Shakespeare was not the first, only the most famous. And to be fair, his story is much more intense since it takes place over the course of less than a week while the original plot takes months. There are a few other differences between the two but the gist of it is, two star crossed lovers separated by family feuds and ending in tragedy. And this book takes us through all of that drama and gives us a beautiful and dramatic ending to it all.

The Real Story

Some of the things I loved about this book were actually the historical events and characters. The three families in the story, the Tolomeis, the Salimbenis, and the Marescottis were apparently all real families that had feuds and stories fairly similar to what happened in this book. Fortier wrote in her authors note that she did take some liberties with the history for the sake of the story but that she tried to be faithful to them. I do highly suggest reading her author’s note if you get the book because for me, it made it that much more special.

I think that her ability to blend the past and present was well executed and emotional in ways I wasn’t expecting. I really felt the connection between the Romeo and Giulietta of 1340 and the Romeo and Guiletta of the early 2000’s. Her ability to connect these people not only by blood but by fate and destiny and emotion and passion is unmatched and she managed to do it in roughly 500 pages.

Divine Intervention

I am normally not a fan of books with religious undertones, especially without some kind of supernatural explanation to it but in Juliet it really didn’t strike me as prevalent even though it was. The Virgin Mother and the “curse on both your houses” are two huge driving forces behind this story. Both felt like completely natural pieces of the puzzle rather than an overbearing push for Catholic guilt which could have easily been the case in a story set in Italy spanning 600 years with generational family drama. There was a real feeling of the Virgin Mother being the overseer of the fate of these people and bringing them together, to righting the wrongs done in the past. In a lot of other books this might have felt preach-y or overbearing but it actually made fate feel real.

Love Story

I’m a sucker for a good romance book; I will read love story after love story after love story, but even I can get tired of the same plot over and over again. Sometimes the misogyny gets tiring and I want these female led stories to be about more than finding a man to complete them and this book gave me exactly that.

The story starts and ends with Julie Jacobs’ family. She needs to learn about her family, about her history, where she’s really from. I got so sucked into her journey of self discovery that I kind of forgot it was a love story for a while. And that kind of messed me up when we got there because I had missed a lot of the chemistry build up that I had to think back about to even realize it was there. I was so focused on her learning about her father and visiting banks and libraries that I nearly missed her falling completely in love. But in the end it was one of the most passionate and tumultuous love stories, because when you’re Romeo & Juliet, how could you have anything else?

My Personal Opinion on R&J

Following that I want to talk quickly about Romeo & Juliet. If you’ve taken a Shakespeare class or even just a high school English class at some point you’ve probably talked about this. Sometimes it gets glossed over because it’s one of the well known stories and they don’t usually waste time on it but I’m going to.

Classes like this tend to brush these lovers off as horny teenagers who are in lust and get married so they can bone each other but I think that’s a sad approach. I’ll even admit that was my view on it for a while, but not now. It’s a love story. It’s the love story. So to read an in depth story like this that doesn’t diminish the real feelings they had for each other was very pleasing. I might write a whole thing about some of my Shakespeare opinions one day but for now I will leave you with this:

To thine own self be true. Shakespeare is theatre. It isn’t mean to be read, it’s meant to be staged. And the beauty of theatre is that every single production of every play is different (at least it’s supposed to be. Some directors have yet to learn this, but I digress). This means that everyone interprets things differently, so while I think Romeo & Juliet are the ultimate lovers, you might think they were just horny teenagers. And that’s okay.

Generational Drama

Generational stories like this hold a special place in my heart. I’m not sure what it is exactly, but the idea of fate and family and stories that span hundreds of years just really get me. I won’t go on about this too much because I’ve already mentioned it a few times but I love the redemption that Romeo and Guilietta get through their ancestors, even if it was 600 years later. I love that their love lasted generations and the thought of how the spirits of the original couple feel looking at themselves, their ancestors, finally bringing their families together chokes me up a little if I’m being honest.

Alessandro

I was really not counting on Alessandro being such an important piece of this story, but his evolution as a character was a fucking ride. Going from a security guard/driver, to basically an undercover cop, to potential lover, to fake identity, to actual lover, to liar and cheat, to being framed and actually being a lover and savior was intense. Ideal. I loved and hated him through the whole thing but I was very happy with where he ended up.

Symbolism

There is so much symbolism in this book. The gems being the color of their eyes, the golden statues, the paintings, the maestros. All of it. It can be found on almost every page. But there were a few that really stood out to me.

The cencio and dagger constantly popping up as important of the story for Giulietta was not lost on me. I’m still tossing around what I think it really means, actually, but where I stand now is the idea of an official marriage and what makes it official in the eyes of the Virgin Mother. Romeo and Giulietta weren’t considered actually married because they never consummated and it didn’t happen on the cencio if it had. So for it to have been hidden in Julie’s bed after that weird secret ceremony with Alessandro, was interesting because they also weren’t really married. Not the way we think of now. It just shows that marriage isn’t defined by sex (which I think futher proves my point that this was never just about horny teenagers. As well as the entirety of this book), or by words. Marriage is defined by love and commitment.

And then there’s the River Diana. Another thing I haven’t quite landed on a full meaning for, but I know what it made me feel. It’s hard to put into words, but the first word that came to mind was literally symbolism. This story, this curse, killed Diana, Julie’s mother. And now Julie made it to the statue, and she found her Romeo and in the moment that she almost dies it’s by drowning in the River Diana. This whole time she was drowning in what her mother started for her and it’s Alessandro that pulls her out and saves her from it. Being with him is what keeps her alive, from being swept away by this curse the way her mother was. So maybe it’s symbolic of the end. Of not falling into the same pattern or being swept into the same current.

Plot Twists

This story never went where I thought it was going to go. I don’t actually want to talk about the plot twists too much because I want people reading this to be as surprised as I was. Not like I didn’t spoil things before but there are still quite a few things I didn’t mention that really fucked me up if I’m being honest.

If you’re a fan of plot twists, please read this book.

Ye Olde Slow as Hell Language

I don’t want to scare anyone off here - most of the book is in modern language and even the parts that take us back to 1300 aren’t that bad. But they are far more detailed and can sometimes just feel really slow. But all of the information is really important so I wouldn’t skip it. But the language and the flow of the story really slows things down in these parts and it’s what made me take so long to finish this book. Well that and the fact that I just wouldn’t know what to do with myself if I finished it too soon.

However, I will give the author credit for having parallel story lines set so far apart. She really pulled it off and made the entire thing just so magical. By the time they died, I didn’t want to leave that world. I wanted to stay and watch them be happy but then I got to go back to Julie and watch her get her happily ever after

Janet’s Character Development

Right off the bat we’re supposed to hate Janet. And we do. She’s awful and when she shows back up we kind of hate her even more because of what she’s been doing. I didn’t feel sorry for her in the slightest. Up until the last few chapters of the book, these twin sisters felt very estranged so to go from that to them being a fantastic duo that you root for was a twist I wasn’t ready for but whole heartedly welcomed. It was a nice change of pace to see a female character arc into a better person instead of someone who got increasingly bitter. Still not a huge fan of the character but she ended up being kind of important and at least it passed the Betchdel test, right?

In Conclusion

I think this might be my favorite book now. High recommend.

#monyreview #media review #book revie #romeo and juliet #r+j #juliet #ann fortier #books #book tumblr #best seller #romance #historical fiction #modern au

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freykitten · 4 years ago

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Frey’s fic recs list!

I realised there’s a dry spell happening in my fic reccommendations tag (”can i interest you in this masterpiece”, perhaps with a question mark at the end idk anymore), and we’re off season, so appreciating the writers creating content now is very important, so here’s a very incomplete list of season 12 (with a smidge of CDR) fics I’m obsessed with.

It’s absolutely not all the fics I would happily rant about to everyone who listened - it’s very on top of my head - but almost all authors I mentioned have more RPDR works, so check that out and browse the tags of ships you’re interested in (that’s how I found a big part of those gems). Oh, and comment, even if it’s just keysmash or screaming. It means the world, trust me on that.

“we didn’t start the fire” by @pink-grapefruit-cafe - lesbian AU, multichap, in progress (Jankie, Ninex, Trixya + I’m hoping for Kamasia)

When I think of this story, I start smiling and bounce with excitement, because it’s just that freaking fantastic. I’m still in awe with how well Charl is executing this concept, and I stopped expecting anything less than splendind from her even before I got to know her. How does she know so much about firefighters? I’m guessing a lot of detailed research came into outlining this story and I have the most respect for that. But the plot! Okay, so it’s a firefighter AU. I can’t tell you too much not to spoil anything important, but it starts with a bang to your own head, and then it doesn’t slow down. We get to explore characters one by one, but through the lense of relationships and dynamic, and it’s done in such a smart way. I promise you’ll be hooked one paragraph in, and by the end of the first chapter- you’ll be addicted.

“A Goode Idea“ by @goodemornting - lesbian AU, one shot (Crygi)

I had and incredible pleasure of betaing it, but I’m not biased at all what I say this fic is hilarious. It’s fantastically written and had me surprised at every turn. I had the most fun reading it each time. The idea is, well, absurd. Like, literally. Crystal gets her hand stuck in a vending machine on her way to a blind date. But our girl is not a quitter, oh no, but the machine is runway commentary on Drag Race and Crystal’s hand is jokes about Michelle’s breasts. Just... can’t let it go. Thankfully, there comes salvation in a form of Gigi Goode, who’s been stood up on a blind date. Are you, like, connecting the dots here? Because they’re not. At all. This fic is prime entertainment, give it a read.

“I Remember“ by @imposterzoe - one shot (Jiji)

MY HEART WAS RIPPED OUT, SET ON FIRE, AND STEPPED ON, BUT NOT IN ATTEMPT TO PUT OUT THE FLAME. I thought about this fic and, jesus, it still hurts. It’s a great angst, truly a great one. It’s all loneliness and heartbreak and yearning that makes the lungs burn. “dear god he needed a hug. But the one person he would accept it from was in another man's arms, on the other side of the country.” - I can’t get this line out of my head and I don’t regret it - it’s a very good one, but it just hurts a lot. Incredible, incredible work.

One Direction (to your heart) by @opalescent-cheetah - lesbian AU, multichap, in progress (Jaida/Crystal)

Back to the fun stuff! IT’S A SOULMATES AU. I’M WEAK FOR SOULMATES AUs. And you might not understand my love for that trope (it’s legit my favourite one ever), but you will understand my love for that story as soon as you start it. It’s a fun spin on the soulmate tottoos trope - you’re not born with it, but once you get your first tattoo, it’s mirrored on your soulmate’s skin. And Jaida really doesn’t get the appeal of having the universe decide for you about who you’re going to love - she prefers to make that decision for herself, so when arabic letters spelling “One Direction” appear on her chest, it’s less than ideal. But she doesn’t think too much about it. That, or the fact her new coworker insists of blasting 1D songs all day long. She might not enjoy Crystal’s taste in music, but she sure enjoys her company. A lot. A whole lot.

I almost forgot to mention it, but the fact each chapter has a seperate illustration drawn for it? And they’re all so pretty? Wonderful.

Signed, Sealed, Delivered by @missjanjie - lesbian AU, multichap, in progress (Sportsdoll, Crygi)

I promised myself one rec for one author and with Joley it was the most difficult to stick to that rule (and we’ve had Charlotte on this list, and I’m whipped with everything she writes, so visualise the struggle here). But I chose this one, because it’s just!!! so good!!! Jan is a simple collage student with typical collage student problems. You know, exams, boring readings, pining for your French pen pal, morning lectures, handing in assignments on time. Crystal is her roommate, and has typical roommate problems: sharing chores, remembering which sweets are whose, and telling your secret crush you have to pretend to be in love, because your roommate decided to invite her French pen pal to your wedding, so now you have to stage everything. That’s a normal Tuesday evening for them. And an awesome story for you to follow.

“small wonder“ by wildewoman_22 - lesbian AU, one shot (Jankie)

This list is supposed to be fics that live rent-free in my head, so this one should have been put as the first one. It made me sob. It’s so unimaginably beautiful (I’m already getting tears in my eyes and I’m not even talking about the plot, oh my god). Jackie and Jan decide to have a baby, and it’s the most raw, magnificent, but also heartwarming portrayal of pregnancy and different ways to understand motherhood I’ve read. So absolutely beautiful and filled with love. Just, a masterpiece. So mindblowing.

“Some Things Are Bound To Be” by @dollalpaca - lesbian AU, multichap, in progress (Kyara)

In Polish we have that saying, “to approach something like dog would a hedgehog”, and to say that was me with that fic is like not saying anything. I love Zyanny and I’m always going to be proud of the things she creates - be it a fic, a moodboard, or a bullet journal - but I didn’t really watch CDR, and the bit I have seen didn’t convince me. So it took me a while to get to that fic. But when I did. Jesus, the only advantage of catching up on it late was the fact I didn’t have to wait for updates, because it’s so good I’d go crazy, like I am now. Kyne is an accountant in a big company, all she wants is to do her job and mind her own business. Really. Give her her papers and peace. That’s all she’s asking for. So of course she’ll get something else - a rumour she’s dating the daughter of the company’s boss. But Kiara is hot and nice and seeing her laugh makes Kyne’s heart do stupid things, so what the hell. One thing she doesn’t know is Kiara’s past, and that might complicate a few things. I don’t know Kiara’s past either and Zyan won’t tell me and I’m going crazy here. Come join me in my misery - the way her characters are written makes it all worth it.

“countless chances” by @essenceofhall - lesbian AU, one shot (Crygi)

IT’S A HARLEY QUINN/POISON IVY AU, PEOPLE. And it’s blowing my mind. The characterisation in that fic is immaculate - it’s like original personalities of Ivy and Harley were mixed with something very, very original, and it’s owned - done so surely and with so much craftmanship - they feel organic as Crystal and Gigi. This fic is the best way of creating an AU based on existing characters I’ve read, and with a lot of certainty I can say that it will remain as the best one. It’s pure brilliance. I am blown away. Impressed beyond the point of expression.

“Blue Neighborhood” by @imalwaysaslutfordrag - lesbian AU, a series of astounding one shots, in progress

I won’t write too much about this, because I probably could whip out a separate post about BN and it would be just as long. It’s one of the best stories I’ve read in my entire life, and I don’t mean just fics, I mean all literature. Every aspect I could talk about is entrancing. Phenomenal work that deserves all the praise.

#that got... long #whoops #don't regret a thing #besides not addin 50000 works more into that #can i interest you in this masterpiece?#so there is a question mark after all #support your writers please <3 #frey rambles

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