#I had less than 4 hours of sleep last night maybe that’s why this is so rambly but also

[eredins-a-king-aint-he]

Quick question: who the fuck has the energy and vitriol left over at the end of the day to send shitty anon asks on tunglr dot com?? Have you SEEN the state of the world rn??? Even if you’re already an asshole and don’t give a rat’s left nut about the terrifying equality issues happening at the moment, the cost of living these days is fucking insane!! Inflation is out-the-wazoo bonkers but wages haven’t budged a fucking inch. How can anyone afford to spend extra energy being a dick to internet strangers when there’s genuinely life-affecting stuff to be focusing on?? Like bro???

[wintersoldiersoul]

Drowning

A/N: Not sure how I feel about this one but I'm currently going through this situation with my boyfriend and I thought that writing about it might help me feel better. Haven't gotten to the part where I talk to him about it but maybe this will inspire me.

It was late. Too late. You should be sleeping but it was impossible with your mind racing. You and Bucky had been together for almost a year now but you never really felt secure in your relationship with him. Maybe it was the way that your last boyfriend had broken up with you out of nowhere. You wish you knew why, but you always felt like Bucky was going to run. 

As much as you loved him, you also wanted more from him. More reassurance. More romance. More small gestures to show you that he cared. And you couldn’t blame him for not giving them to you when you hadn’t asked but as much as you preached the importance of communication to your friends, you were a hypocrite. You could never apply that to your own relationship.

Everytime you tried to express your feelings, you couldn’t do it. What if I’m right? What if I tell him that I’m afraid he’s gonna leave and he finally takes it as his chance to do so? You would think. Or what if I plant the idea in his head? 

All of this was made harder by the fact that you were younger than him. While he was established with a career, living on his own, you had just graduated college and were back living with your parents. Finding a job felt nearly impossible despite the countless resumes and cover letters that you sent out every single day. Your brain constantly flashed back to a conversation you had in May, where you asked him if you would stay together when you moved back home. Your hometown was less than an hour from where Bucky lived in Brooklyn, so in your mind it was a no brainer. But when your question opened up a conversation that blindsided you.

Bucky explained that he was ready to be settled down. You were shocked when he had said the words, “Sometimes it feels like we have an expiration date.”

The next morning he said he was being ridiculous. That he loved you and of course the two of you would figure it out. But ever since then, you hadn’t been able to relax. Even now, a month into you living back at home you still couldn’t shake the feeling that he was going to change his mind. You saw him just as often as you had when you were still living in the city. You didn’t mind taking the train to go see him 3 or 4 times a week. But the stress and anxiety was weighing on you. Combined with adjusting to post-grad life, you were not doing well. 

You had never felt so lonely in your life. All of your college friends had also moved back to their hometowns while most of your friends from high school were still dispersed around the country. The job search left you feeling defeated every single day. And the lack of things to do and structure made life feel meaningless. It was safe to say that you had hit a low point. 

But you wanted to hide it all from Bucky. Because what if you brought up how hard it was to find a job and he realized that this wasn’t going to work? What if you told him how lonely you were and he was offended that he wasn’t enough? He knew that you struggled with anxiety and he was no stranger to mental health issues of his own but you just found it impossible to open up to him about all of this.

So there you were, in the midst of another sleepless night overthinking everything. Laptop opened, frantically searching on LinkedIn for jobs in the hopes that one thing just might work out. You read back your text messages from the past few days. Does he seem distant, or is my stupid brain playing tricks on me? As your spiral continued, you could feel a panic attack brewing. You tried your best to focus on your breathing but it became impossible. You just wanted to talk to Bucky. You needed to talk to Bucky. 

Fuck it, you thought. Losing him would be horrible, but so is living in this fear. Through your tears and shaking hands, you typed a message.

Y/N: Are you awake?

You shook your legs and bit your nails as you stared at the screen waiting for those three dots to show up.

Bucky: Yeah.

You took a deep breath as you sent the next message, trying to not go crazy over the dry single word he had responded with.

Y/N: Can I call you?

You desperately wished you could be with him right now to have this conversation. To analyze his body language in person. But you weren’t with him and you wouldn’t see him til the end of the week and you needed to get this out. Now.

Bucky: It’s late. I’m trying to get some sleep. 

You knew work had been kicking his ass lately. He was putting in insane hours, usually waking up at 6 and not finishing up til midnight. You knew he needed to rest and you almost responded back saying nevermind, and goodnight. But no. You needed to be a little selfish or you would crumble. Tonight felt like a turning point. Or a breaking point.

Y/N: Please Bucky. I really need to talk to you.

Bucky: Ok

Pressing dial on his name, you felt your heart rate increase even more. You tried to take deep breaths to calm your tears but it didn’t help. You were practically sobbing by the time he answered the call. “Bucky…” you said into the phone. 

At hearing your voice, Bucky was alert. He could tell that something was wrong. You had never cried in front of him. “Y/N? Baby, what's wrong? What's going on?” His desire for sleep was completely gone. All he cared about was you. He knew that he wasn’t the best boyfriend. He knew he could treat you better. But the years of trauma he had experienced made it hard for him to be vulnerable with anyone. He loved you so much that it hurt him and he hated himself that he couldn’t fully give himself to you. 

“Bucky, I’m not okay. I’m really really not okay,” you practically hyperventilated. “I don’t know what to do. I can’t keep living like this. I can’t.”

“Shhh, can you take some deep breaths for me?” He said calmly. “I need you to calm down and tell me what's going on.” He listened quietly as he heard you breathe deeply.

“Bucky, I’m terrified,” you finally spoke after a couple of minutes. “I don’t feel secure in our relationship. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells constantly because I’m petrified that you’re gonna leave. That one day you’re just gonna decide that you’re done with me because I’m too young and I live with my parents and I don’t have a job. And trying to find a job has really been taking a toll on me. I’m trying so fucking hard but it feels impossible. It’s so defeating waking up every single day to an email inbox full of rejections and I feel worthless and stupid. I’m not doing well not being in college anymore. I don’t have any structure to my days and life feels really fucking pointless right now. I’m so lonely. Fuck, I’m so lonely, Buck.” You took a pause, bracing yourself for his response. 

“Baby, why haven’t you brought this up sooner? Why haven’t you told me any of this?” There was genuine shock in his voice. 

“Because!” You cried. “I don’t want to remind you about how hard it is to find a job right now. I don’t want you to think about the fact that I live with my parents now while you have your own independent life. I never want to remind you of it because I don’t want you to change your mind and leave. And I don’t want you to think that you’re not enough for me because I’m lonely. I love you so much but I just… I really fucking miss my friends.” 

“Y/N, I need you to listen to me. Like, really listen to me. I am well aware of your situation. I know it’s hard to find a job right now. I’m not gonna leave you, okay? I’m committed to this. To you.”

You sniffled. “But you said that you wanted to be settled down. That we might have an expiration date.”

He sighed. “I’m sorry for that. I never should have said those things. When we had that conversation I was tired and not thinking clearly. And I spent that whole night wide awake thinking about how stupid I was and how stupid I would be to let you go because you need some time to find your footing after college. I hate that those words affected you so much. I’m so sorry.”

You talked to him for a while longer, pouring out all of your insecurities that you’d been holding back. After a while, the conversation started to shift to more normal things.

“Baby,” Bucky yawned. “I love you so much but I gotta go to bed. And tomorrow after work I’ll come see you, okay?”

“Okay. I love you too.”

Your worries wouldn’t fade overnight. You wouldn’t suddenly be able to get a job. Your friends wouldn’t all come back to you. College was over and life was drastically different. But at least now Bucky knew. And he wasn’t going to leave.

[digitaldiarystuff]

Age Doesn’t Matter (or does it?) Pt. 2

summary: You meet a boy at a club on a night out but realize he looks younger than he says he is

pairing: Pablo Gavi x Y/N

genre: fluff/ smut

————

You woke up with a massive hangover and for a second forgot about last night. That was until you picked up your phone to a hundred messages from Pablo, Pablo Gavi.

They started with a slight denial.

“What makes you think that??”

Then got a little freaked out.

“Did someone tell you that?”

And then came the confession.

“Yeah, I am.”

But it didn’t stop there.

“Okay yes I lied but you would never talked to me if you knew, I could sense your panic while asking my age and I freaked out I’m sorry but I didn’t want to blow my chance.”

“Did I blow my chance?”

Then he got agitated.

“Are you going to leave me on delivered for ever?”

“Why aren’t you saying something?”

“Are you asleep?”

You were in shock for most of the texts but him asking if you’re sleeping via text got to you and you started cracking up. He was a little too needy and now that you know you have a 4 year age gap and he’s a football star you just couldn’t continue this. However, his infatuation with you kind of made your heart flutter, he was too sweet and persistent for his own good. One text won’t hurt, you thought.

“Yes, I’m asleep at the moment.” you said and got a response in less than a minute.

“Ha ha very funny, have I told you I have a thing for funny girls?”

“You apparently also have a thing for older girls?” you teased. His age was still a problem.

“Maybe I have a thing for you.” and when you didn’t answer “Look I really am sorry I was just afraid you wouldn’t want anything to do with me if you knew my age.” and another “You know billions of people in relationships have age gaps and they all get along well.”

“Are you only this talkative when you’re sober or did I drink too much last night?”

“Okay I understand I’m not on your best side right now but I’m free tonight if you want to meet and I can show you why age doesn’t matter.”

Your mind went blank for a second and you remembered how his hands and lips made you feel last night, you hadn’t been intimate with anyone for a really long time and to be fair, Pablo looked far more attractive than any guy around you and his text just rose your heartbeat but your obsession with his age was nagging your brain constantly.

“I’m busy” you said terrified about his effect on you.

“Tomorrow?”

“Can’t”

“The day after?”

“Can’t”

He sent a frowny face emoji and you thought it was the end of the conversation. It made you a little sad but you wouldn’t admit it but a few minutes later you got another text.

“What are you doing now?”

You stupidly thought this was just an ice breaker and said you were at home not doing anything.

“Then send me your address” he texted and you realized he wouldn’t give up easily. You mentally slapped yourself but gave him the address anyway. He said he’d be at yours in half an hour which was too little in your opinion, your home was a mess and so were you.

After taking a quick shower you weighed your options about outfits, it should be put together but not too fancy or he’d think you wanted to look good for him, which you did.

Finally you decided on biker shorts and an oversized crewneck. And you also applied some concealer under your eyes and started putting the dishes in your dishwasher and even stuffed all your clothes lying around your room to your closet hoping he wouldn’t snoop in there. Thank god your roommate was at work and you didn’t have to worry about her. As you were finishing up cleaning around the doorbell rang and you took a breath and saw Pablo on the side, your drunk mind didn’t play any games to you and he still was gorgeous. His hair was wet and he had a duffle bag on his shoulder smiling widely at you.

“Hi” he said timidly.

“Hi, come in” you said and let him in. “Were you at training?” you asked given his outfit and bag. He sat down on one side your L shaped sofa and you sat on the opposite side.

“Yeah, I came straight out of practice.”

“So when you texted me”

“Yes I was still on the pitch.” he said giggling.

You loved how much effort he put into just texting you but also hated how it made you feel butterflies in your stomach.

“Would you like to drink anything?” you asked whilst getting up.

“Just water would be fine.” he shrugged and you got 2 bottles giving him one. You hated how your eyes diverted to his biceps while he was grabbing it. He really made this hard for you.

You both took sips and didn’t talk for a moment.

“Look Pablo, I” he cut you off with a kiss. His hands found your cheeks and you reciprocated after a second placing yours on his chest. He backed down after a moment to seize your reaction. But he saw you, eyes closed and enjoying yourself so he kissed you again. This time he was much more confident in his moves, he grabbed your waist and made you straddle him like you weighed nothing, getting you more aroused. Your legs were on both his sides as you never broke the kiss. He then started kissing your chin and neck making his way around your body and you used this opportunity to get rid of his shirt.

His hands held your lower back and you involuntarily rolled your hips against him invitingly. His eyes rolled back for a second and said “Can I?” and you just nodded. He took your hoodie off and saw you weren’t wearing any bra underneath.

“I see you’ve prepared for me.” he cockily smirked and you rolled your eyes but his confidence made you want him even more. He hungrily attacked your breasts with his mouth while you were rocking your hips and pulling the hair on the nape of his neck. You could feel his bulge underneath you growing every second. He then made you lay down on the couch and went for your leggings, looking to your eyes for permission.

“Please” you said in a small voice and were shocked about how needy you were. This was new to you.

He smiled and rolled your leggings down your legs. Suddenly you felt overly exposed and reality hit for a second until he saw you were wearing a burgundy lacy thong, he smiled but kept his mouth shut. You could practically see the lust in his eyes and that made all insecurities disappear. He started toying with the hem of your underwear and you were barely able to wait.

“C’mon Pablo I need you to show me age doesn’t matter.” you whined hoping to get some action and it seemed like it worked. He didn’t even took your thong off just shoved it aside and started to pepper some kisses around your core. He also started to rub your inner thighs and when you were about to complain again, he shushed you with a lick across your folds and all your words disappeared immediately. You forgot how to breathe for a second but Pablo kept on going and going until you were arching your back and screaming his name. After you came, he wanted to give you a moment to catch your breath but he was about to explode if he stopped now. He was a goner as soon as he heard his name roll over your tongue as high pitched moans. He freed his member and started running his hands over it a few times before reaching out his pocket and pulling a condom out, you rolled your eyes again but he smirked and said “I was hoping you’d want me as much as I want you”

He put it on your entrance and checked if you’re okay with this but all you could muster was a nod. You were still seeing clouds because of the orgasm he gave you mere seconds ago. He coated himself with your juices and pushed it in. You yelped at the feeling but he wasn’t going to give you time to adjust as he started thrusting with all his power. All the practice he goes through daily made his stamina another level and his movements never slowed down only sped up and after a while you both became undone.

Both of you were still trying to catch your breaths, his head was on your chest and his arms around your waist. He looked up at you and you melted, he looked like an angel even though he did some devilish stuff to you minutes ago, his eyes were the best brown you’ve ever seen with hints of honey and his post hair sex was even more appealing than his regular hair.

You didn’t say anything but he still understood what you wanted to say and kissed your lips, not like the previous ones fueled by lust, just adoration and you smiled into the kiss realizing maybe age really didn’t matter.

————

note: okokok just hear me out, this is the first time i’m ever trying to write smut and i don’t even know what to think but i hope you enjoy it, lmk if you have any ideas

[cre8inghavoc]

What are Friends For?

PT. 4

Status: ongoing!!

Updates: no set date.

WC: 2462

Pairing: megumi fushiguro x FEM!reader

Genre/Warnings:[18+] Characters are aged up. This story contains toxic boyfriend, cursing, name calling, self-doubt/hate, angst, breaking up, post-breakup, alcohol, drunk moments, new friends, dating!au, college!au, no curses!au, dark humour, dark jokes. SMAU.

Recap: 

"I should go, you need to rest," he says softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

"No..." you murmur, pleadingly.

"Please stay..." your voice trails off, barely audible.

"I think you're too drunk, angel," he responds, his tone tinged with uncertainty and a hint of amusement.

"Please..." you urge once more. 

He knows deep down that you're not in the right state of mind to make decisions, but he’s also aware that being alone in your current state isn't safe.

"Okay..." he relents, his voice softening as he gazes at you with a mixture of concern and admiration.

"I'll stay..."

You wake up, squinting at the digital numbers on your nightstand: 3:21 am.

You massage your temples to ease the lingering headache. The alcohol from last night still has its grip on you, but it's not too bad. Surprising how much of a lightweight you've become after a year of sobriety.

Turning over, you realize you're alone in bed and take a moment to evaluate the situation. How did you even end up back in your room? Maybe Maki helped you, but then again, she’d usually change you into your pajamas. Wait... why are you wearing a sweater over your dress… that sweater is not yours?

A familiar scent fills the air, bringing a rush of memories flooding back. Oh no... could he still be here? Did he leave while you were asleep? Did you make things awkward? Wait... Weren't you two just about to... you know, kis-

Ding Dong

The sudden ring of the doorbell jolts you upright in bed, snapping you out of your overthinking spiral. Who could possibly be at the door at this hour? Was it him? No, that wouldn't make sense. Why would he leave only to come back? Unless he came for his sweater, but then he wouldn't be able to lock the door behind him. Or maybe it was your friends, checking in on you. Shaking off your worries, you make your way downstairs.

As you approach the door, all thoughts of him leaving disappear when you see a tall boy with messy black hair, dressed in a black t-shirt and sweatpants, standing inside. But something catches you off guard... he's talking to someone. Intrigued, you move closer, only to be met with a sight that makes your heart plummet: your ex.

Your stomach churns at the sight of him. What on earth was he doing here? Didn't you make it crystal clear that it was over between you two?

You step towards the stranger you had only just met yesterday, still unaware of his name. For now, you mentally dub him Mystery Boy. You're about to step in front of him to confront your ex, but he stops you. His hand extends, motioning for you to stay put, though he doesn't even glance in your direction. It's as if he sensed your intentions before you even made a move, positioning himself in front of you as if to shield you from harm.

"Who the hell are you? And what are you doing in my girlfriend's house?" he shouts angrily.

The “mystery boy” remains unfazed, his tone devoid of any urgency or concern. "Ex-girlfriend," he corrects, almost casually.

Recognition flickers across your ex's face. "Oh, it's you. The guy from yesterday," he sneers.

"Wow, y/n. I always knew you were a fucking slut. Less than 24 hours and you're already sleeping with this dude. Pathetic."

You feel a surge of anger at his words.

"Hypocrite," the mystery boy retorted, his voice cutting through the tension.

"The hell did you just say?" Your ex's eyes narrow dangerously.

"You're a hypocrite, do you feel proud saying insults like that? You're the one who cheated on her with girls you probably met within 10 minutes. But go ahead, keep projecting your insecurities. It only shows how ignorant and shallow you truly are."  he asserts, his voice steady despite the rising tension.

You stare at him, taken aback by his unexpected defence. How could someone speak so calmly in the face of such aggression? He may appear indifferent, but his actions speak otherwise. He wouldn't have intervened if he truly didn't care. But why? What's his motive? Why is he still helping you, repeatedly?

"You belong to me. You'll come back to me, or else I'll make your life a living hell, you hear me?" Your ex's angry words pierce the air before he storms off, leaving a trail of tension in his wake.

Your mystery boy closes the front door and turns to you, his expression unchanged.

"Are you okay?" he asks in that same unflappable tone.

"Why did you do that?" you inquire, curiosity lacing your words.

"Do what?" he replies, his tone tinged with confusion.

"You know what..." you trail off, frustration seeping into your voice.

"Why are you defending me? This is the second time," you press, a hint of anger in your tone.

"You're welcome?" he responds, seeming puzzled by your reaction.

"No, I mean yes! Thank you! I didn't mean to sound ungrateful. I just..." you pause, releasing a frustrated sigh. "Why? Why are you helping me? You don't even know me, and I still don't know your name!"

"Fushiguro," he says again, his tone still nonchalant.

"What?" you ask, baffled by his response.

"Megumi Fushiguro. My name," he states calmly.

"Oh..." you respond, absorbing his name in the quiet of the room.

Silence envelops the space for a few moments before you gather the courage to speak again.

"Megumi... Why are you hel-" you begin, but he cuts you off before you can finish your sentence.

"I don't think anyone deserves to be treated like they're worthless, especially someone who is kind, respectful, and selfless," he interrupts, his tone firm.

"But how do you even know I am those things... you don't really know me," you counter, feeling a mix of embarrassment and curiosity.

"You're right, I don't know you. But I've always been good at observing people, and just within 24 hours of meeting you, I already have a sense of the type of person you are," he replies confidently.

A rush of heat floods your cheeks, causing you to blush profusely. Why does the room suddenly feel so warm? His words may not be much, but they have an intense effect on you. You can't help but smile at his sincerity, his gaze, his... oh no. "WAIT! WHAT. No No No No No No No. Stop it, Y/n! What the hell are you thinking? You basically just met the guy! Stop it. Oh my god- WHY is my heart beating so fast? CAN IT STOP!" You mentally scold yourself, overwhelmed by the rush of confusing emotions flooding your brain, leaving you feeling anxious and flustered.

"Angel!" Megumi's voice breaks through your internal chaos, his hand resting gently on your shoulder to grab your attention, having repeated your name three times before.

"Huh? What happened?" you ask, bewildered by the sudden change in atmosphere.

He chuckles softly to himself. "I asked if you feel safe staying here still."

"Oh... um..." you stammer, feeling a wave of shyness wash over you.

"To be honest... not really. I didn't expect him to come here again, especially this late... I'm kind of scared that he might return. He has a way of being persistent, and I fear he won't stop until he gets what he wants," you admit, meeting his gaze with uncertainty.

"Well, that settles it," he declares, taking hold of your wrist gently and leading you out of your house.

"Wait- what are you doing?!" you protest, confusion evident in your voice.

He guides you to his car and opens the door for you. As you settle into the passenger seat, he closes the door gently before getting into the driver's seat and starting the engine.

"Megumi... where are we going?" you inquire, taken aback by his sudden actions.

"We're going to my place. It's clearly not safe for you to stay here, at least not right now. And I won't always be here to protect you, so it's better if we go to my place. He won't be able to find you there," he explains matter-of-factly.

Again, he delivers this statement with such casualness! You can't help but wonder if that's just his nature.

"I- oh... okay. But... my clothes?" you realize, concern lacing your words.

"Oh... you can borrow mine for tonight," he offers without hesitation.

As you pull up to Megumi's house, you're struck by its size and convenient location. Settled near various amenities like grocery stores, schools, and malls, the neighbourhood exudes a sense of comfort and accessibility. The houses, including Megumi's, are impressive, each having its own unique charm.

Megumi steps out of the car and swiftly opens the door for you before you even have the chance to do it yourself. "What a gentleman," you think to yourself, appreciating the small gesture of respect. Stepping inside, you're greeted by photo frames showcasing Megumi and two other individuals. His friends, perhaps? Megumi guides you through the house, giving you a quick tour of the living room on the left and the kitchen to the right, before leading you upstairs.

As you follow, you notice four rooms lining the hallway, one of which is slightly open, offering a glimpse inside. "You have siblings?" you ask, curiosity.

"Mmm?" Megumi turns to you, following your gaze to the partially open door of one of his roommates' rooms. "Oh, no. I have two roommates who also happen to be my best friends," he explains. "Speaking of which, they might be returning from the club soon, so don't be startled if you see two or more people coming in," he adds with a chuckle.

"Two or more? I thought you only had two roommates," you question, puzzled by his statement.

"Well, they went to meet up with some other friends at the club, and one of them mentioned they might crash here tonight, so it's going to be a full house," he clarifies.

You nod in understanding as you both enter his room. He flicks on the light, revealing a sleek black and grey theme that somehow doesn't surprise you. And then, resting on his bed, you spot the two dogs that accompanied him on your fateful encounter, the same dogs that were there when Megumi helped rescue you from your toxic ex.

"Omg hi babies!!!!" you exclaim excitedly as you rush to Megumi's bed and gently pet his dogs. They respond with equal enthusiasm, licking your hand as if they've known you forever. Megumi watches with amusement, noting how quickly his dogs have taken to you. It's a sight he hasn't witnessed before; usually, it takes them at least three weeks to warm up to new people, even with his own roommates.

"They like you," he remarks with a chuckle, appreciating the sight of you smiling.

"Of course they do!!! Why wouldn't they?" you reply, your excitement palpable.

"Aren't you two such good boys! Wait, they're boys right??" you ask, turning to Megumi for confirmation.

"Yes, both boys," he confirms, a small smile playing on his lips as he leans against the door frame, arms crossed.

"I'll leave you in here. You can wear whatever you want from my closet, I'll sleep on the couch," he announces, preparing to leave the room.

"Wait! Megumi..." you interject, stopping him in his tracks.

He turns around to face you, waiting for you to speak.

"I'm not really tired anymore... you think we can watch a movie or something?" you ask hopefully.

A smile spreads across his face as he nods in agreement, then exits the room, giving you privacy to change.

You take your time selecting an outfit from Megumi's closet, settling on a cozy dark blue sweater and some slightly oversized sweatpants. With a bit of adjustment, they fit you comfortably. Once dressed, you head downstairs to find Megumi already setting up a movie and placing down popcorn.

"Omggg I love popcorn," you exclaim, unable to contain your excitement as you settle down on the couch beside him, perhaps a little closer than strictly necessary... Maybe it was intentional...

You tuck your phone away after reassuring your worried friends with a quick message, informing them that you're fine and simply spending the night at a friend's house.

"You ready? Hope you don't get too scared from horror movies," Megumi asks, glancing at you with a hint of amusement.

"Are you kidding? I love them!!! I mean, they can be scary, but I'll manage," you reply with a giggle.

He nods and starts the movie, and before you know it, you're engrossed in the suspenseful plot unfolding on the screen. Twenty minutes in, you suddenly realize that you're leaning into Megumi, his arms comfortably wrapping around your shoulders and drawing you closer to him. When did this happen?! How did you not notice sooner? You make a conscious effort to stay still, hoping he doesn't realize the position you've unwittingly found yourself in, secretly relishing the closeness. Being near him makes you feel... safe? Yeah, safe.

Lost in the movie, neither of you notices the front door opening until the lights flicker on in the living room, prompting you and Megumi to quickly turn and see his roommates entering the room.

"MEGUMI?!" his roommates exclaim in shock, their voices echoing through the sudden stillness.

As the shock settles over the room, you and Megumi exchange bewildered glances, realizing the compromising position you were just in. With faces burning red, you quickly move away from each other, both of you visibly flustered. Megumi scratches the back of his neck in embarrassment, his nonchalant demeanour momentarily shaken.

"What are you doing here?" you manage to ask, genuinely shocked and confused by the unexpected reunion.

"No... What are you doing here??" Yuta questions, his confusion mirroring yours.

"I- uh..." you falter, struggling to find an explanation.

"This is the friend you were talking about? You both look more than just friends to me..." Toge observes, his words hanging in the air like an accusation.

"Is this an interrogation?!" you snap back, feeling defensive under their scrutiny.

"Megumi? Why the hell didn't you tell us you had a girlfriend?" Yuji demands, his tone incredulous.

"Not my girlfriend," Megumi states casually, unfazed by the interrogation.

Goddamn, how is he still so nonchalant right now?! You can't help but wonder, feeling a mix of frustration and admiration for his composure.

"Sure doesn't seem like it," Nobara retorts, her annoyance palpable.

"Shut up," Megumi responds curtly, shutting down any further discussion.

Maki, growing impatient with the back and forth, cuts through the tension. "Y/n... What happened?"

You sigh, feeling the weight of their gazes on you. "I- it's a long story... I'll just tell you guys tomorrow when you're all sober."

"Okay... how do you know Megu-" Maki starts to ask before you interject.

"He was the one walking his dog when he saw my ex and I... you know," you explain, your voice trailing off.

"No way. That was him?" Maki's eyes widen in shock as realization dawns on her.

Confusion ripples through the group as they exchange glances, processing the revelation. Then, Maki's words sink in.

"The one that saved her from her toxic ex," she clarifies, her tone tinged with awe.

teehee guyssss this is getting silly :P

im sorry this is a lil short and took so long to writeeee ive been so busy.

but so happy to finally post this :)

also sorry if this a bit rushed

TAGLIST <3

@nikkimvriee , @xbarrjallenx , @atinymonbebestay , @1l-ynn , @chilichopsticks , @dr-fluff-meow, , lostfracturess , maya-maya-56

[star-centric]

Knock, Knock

PAIRING: Adam Barrett/Frank x Gender Neutral!Reader

SUMMARY: You’re more than pissed when Frank shows up at your door step in the middle of the night, but something seems different about this visit than the previous ones. All you want is sleep- but the former detective is on a mission and doesn’t plan on leaving until he gets what he came for.

NOTE: LISTENNNNNNN- this movie has me in a chokehold BAD. Take this random (and very self-indulgent) idea that came out of nowhere but has been in my head for the last 4+ months (and I also think this may be the longest fic I’ve ever written??) Graphics by @/firefly-graphics- enjoy!!

CW: heavy suggestive themes (still not nsfw- but it’s mentioned that you and Frank used to be fwb), SPOILERS FOR THE FINAL ACT OF THE MOVIE, blood, violence, language (Frank has a potty mouth), hints of possessiveness from Frank, Reader knows his real name but Frank will still be called Frank for the sake of plot purposes (minus one time)

There’s two knocks to your front door.

A quick check on your phone shows that it’s way after midnight. Your mind is still trying to wake up when you stomp towards the door, irritation growing when there’s three more persistent knocks. You practically rip the door open, curses already lined up on your tongue-

You’re stumped when you see that it’s Frank.

The man still had his hand up mid knock, the little shock lining his face soon morphing into his usual stiff expression. “Took you long enough.”

“It’s 1 in the morning, what do you expect?” You don’t bother hiding your bitterness, eyes narrowed and hand already in position to slam the door shut in his face. But you couldn’t hide your curiosity as to why he’s here to begin with.

The last you’ve seen Frank was months ago, when you were working with him on an undercover job. He was as much as a prick then than he is now, but somehow, you grew to find him tolerable as time passed. Maybe it was because of how confident he was, never doubting himself and having a level head in the face of danger. Combine that and what how attractive he was, and you could see why you put up with him.

But you fell out of contact with him afterwards, the little messages shared between you both falling silent. You’ve thought it was for the best anyways. It was just an (occasional) hookup after all. But seeing him on your doorstep still has you shaken that he came to you.

Frank is quick to bite back at your snark with his own, “Well that’s never stopped you before.” He places his palm on the door- no doubt trying to stop you from your previous plan. He acts like he’s confused before he leans forward, whispering, “As a matter of fact, I don’t think that’s stopped you at all. Especially when you were looking for a quick fu-“

“Do you need something? Cause if you don’t, you can leave.” You interrupt him. It was no secret that you both have hooked up more than once, but you weren’t going to walk down memory lane with him about it. You don’t have to play his games- you have to get up in less than 6 hours, and you rather not have to deal with Frank being an asshole on your off time.

“As a matter of fact, I do.”

A beat of silence passed, you guarding the door with your arms crossed while Frank stood with his hands in his pockets. “So what is it?”

He gestures to the door, “What- you’re not gonna let me in?”

A petty part of you didn’t want to, instead wanting to leave him to waste his time like he was doing yours. “What’s the difference between saying it here and inside?”

“That I’m not a fucking dog for one.”

“Hm…I’m not convinced.”

Frank rolls his eyes and sighs. The flash of frustration that crosses his face is satisfying. “Look- I need to talk to you and it’s important okay? I don’t have time to waste- so can I come in or what?”

This is one of the few moments that seemed genuine coming from him, his eyes betraying his sincerity despite the displeasure dripping from his voice.

You begrudgingly step aside, heaving a sigh of your own and telling him to come in. Frank mutters something under his breath while you lock the door behind him.

“You haven’t changed much.”

“I can say the same about you.” You remark, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. “Only difference is that now you’re a real criminal instead of pretending to be one like before.”

Peeking into Frank’s files wasn’t difficult, no matter how much he tried to keep it hidden. Working in intel has its perks- seeing the once decorated detective fall into the life of crime was a little jarring, but a tiny part of you wasn’t surprised. He seemed like he played the undercover role a bit too well at time.

But he’s been off the grid for months afterwards- it was hard even for you to find a trace of the former detective (which you never did).

“What, you missed me that bad that you had to be nosy?”

“You had to know that I was gonna snoop around- it’s my job literally. And you’re the one that came to me, so you’re the one that misses me, Adam.”

Frank stepped close to you, enough that you could smell the same cologne that would be left your sheets. “You still got a mouth on you- always got something to fuckin’ say.”

His hand crawled up your neck as he spoke, a chill going down your spine. The icy touch from his hand did nothing to cool you, which was growing hotter as his fingers trailed along your skin. Frank lightly squeezed your throat, a deep jolt striking in the pit of your stomach. He leaned in closer, his lips hovering over yours.

You could pull away, tell him to forget about whatever he needed help with, kick him out and tell him to go to Hell all in one. Frank is an asshole, one that you shouldn’t be entertaining and one that you definitely shouldn’t be pining over.

Yet whatever rebuttal you had died down when you lurched forward, connecting your lips with his.

You could tell he was caught off guard when you felt his body tense up. But he soon began to relax into the kiss.

Frank has never been one to not be in control, and he was proving that now. His tongue swiped at the bottom of your lip and you didn’t hesitate to lower it. There was a battle for dominance that you would always lose against him to. He didn’t give you a chance to catch your breath- it was a battle of dominance that you would always lose to.

You didn’t realize that you made your way to the bedroom until your back hit the sheets, Frank hovering above you, his glasses already abandoned. He never broke away from you, lips traveling down your neck while his hands trailed your body, dipping lower and lower.

It was getting harder to fight your moans, not wanting to give Frank the satisfaction. The bites on your neck were sending pleasurable chills down your spine. You were sure that you’ll have marks in the morning (nothing new) but you don’t remember him being so rough-

“Ow!”

You hissed, gripping Frank’s shoulders and pushing him away. A sharp pain left your neck throbbing. You brought your fingers to it, seeing spots of crimson decorating the tips. It snapped you out of your haze, both of you sitting up.

“Jesus Frank!” You sat up, concern etched on your face. You tapped your fingers against your neck again, feeling the blood come down to your collarbone, not noticing his eyes following the trail.

You wiped at your neck, more of the crimson leaving a mark. You’re kicking yourself for inviting him in- nothing ever came good from getting involved with Frank (the sex would be the only bonus, but even then that high was just temporary). You went to grab a first aid kit, grumbling under your breath how he was able to nick you so easily when he grabbed at your wrist.

Frank didn’t pay you any mind, instead bringing your fingers- stained with your drying blood- up to his lips. He moaned, lightly dragging his tongue across your fingertips. You snatched your hand away, scooting away from him while your stomach twisted into knots.

But Frank didn’t seem deterred by your horror. He groaned, licking his lips and savoring the taste.

Frank had his kinks, but this one was new. And the look in his eyes terrified you.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” You curled your body away from his.

He didn’t answer you right away, which filled you with unease.

“Ya know, I tried to be patient with you, I really did, but after tasting that- fuck it. I don’t think I can wait any longer.”

The world spun and you found yourself pinned down on the bed again.

A scream was caught in your throat when you locked eyes with Frank- or what was suppose to be Frank.

Large, sharp protruding teeth met your sight. This had to be some sort of joke, right? A very hyper realistic dream from all of the late hours you’ve been pulling on the job.

But no matter how hard you blinked, Frank was still there on top of you, his cold hands constraining you to the bed, claws digging into your wrists.

“If you could see the look on your face.” He chuckled.

A million thoughts are running through your mind, breath catching when Frank drags a claw along your aching neck, you hissing in pain.

“I can hear your heart beating so fast from here,” he bent down, smelling and then grinning into your throat. “And I can smell it- your fear. You’re scared shitless aren’t you?” He asked, but you both already knew the answer.

You flinched, trying to hold in a whimper when he brought his tongue out again, tracing the congealed blood alongside your neck.

“What are you?” You croaked out.

“Isn’t it obvious sweetheart?” He tapped your temple with his sharpened nail. “Use that little brain of yours like you’re used to. I’m a vampire- and you got Lambert to thank for that.”

You were never a huge believer in the supernatural. Werewolves, ghosts, vampires- they couldn’t exist. It shouldn’t. Yet here Frank stood, making a quick believer out of you.

“What do you want from me?”

“Those fuckers back at the mansion gave me a good idea that I should get my own little puppet- and I decided that it should be you.”

The pit in your stomach deepened.

You didn’t know what that would mean for you, and you didn’t want to find out. You needed to break free from this monster. You snapped out of your thoughts when Frank let out a laugh.

“I can see those gears turning in your head- you really think I’m giving you a choice?” He flashed a wolffish smile filled with teeth. “You don’t have a fuckin’ chance.”

As much as your fear was threatening to consume you, you didn’t want to give up. Death would be better than becoming a pawn for this beast.

“Fuck you.” You gritted out.

He grinned once more, making a show of licking his teeth.

“I’m gonna have fun making you mine.”

You kept struggling to get out of his hold, kneeing him in his groin hard as you rolled off the bed. You heard him curse as you made a beeline to the door, only to get yanked back by Frank.

“Really? That’s all you got?” He sounded less than amused. “Gotta do better than that.”

He sent you flying in the air, a choked gasp escaping you as your body collided with the wall. The move left you dizzy as Frank blocked the door, your steps a bit wobbly- then through your fear you remembered.

You dug through the drawer for your gun. It was a small, police-issued handgun. You never thought that you would have to use it, so you didn’t have a lot of ammo to spare. If you could just get one good shot on Frank, then this nightmare could be over. Even if he wasn’t dead, you could get away.

You didn’t have a concrete plan.

Your hands shook as you loaded it, and even more when you aimed it at him.

Frank opened his mouth, ready to mock you some more when you pulled the trigger.

The shot rung in your ears as you saw him stumble back, crimson flowing down his forehead. He fell back on the floor, and the breath you didn’t know you were holding was shakily released.

You’ve never had to kill someone before- always trained to do everything behind the scenes. But with Frank, he needed to die. It was clear that you wouldn’t be left unscathed if you hadn’t shot.

Your skin crawled at the thought of going near his body, but you needed to make sure that he was dead. Another headshot would put you more at ease before you escaped for good-

“Shit- you’re a better shot than I remember.”

Your knees felt weak and your stomach dropped as Frank sat up, wiping the trail of blood from his forehead, any trace of the injury gone. No blood, no bullet wound, nothing. Like he wasn’t ever shot to begin with.

Uncontrollable shivers ran throughout your body as Frank made his way towards you. You aimed your gun and shot more rounds into him, but he didn’t even seem phased.

Your breathing grew heavy as the gun clicked empty.

“That’s enough of that-“ he grabbed the gun, tearing it from your hands and flinging you along with the weapon across the room. Your head and back crashed against the vanity, breaking the mirror into pieces in mere seconds.

Your vision was blurring as the glass came down, some pieces slicing your skin. Frank came to stand over you, tsking as he picked up a shard.

You tried to crawl to the gun, pieces of glass burying themselves in your hands and knees. Before you could utter a word, a searing, white hot pain shot through you. You didn’t realize how loud you were screeching until he ripped the shard out of your side, stained with crimson.

He flipped and crouched over you, nodding his head and admiring his work. “It was fun while it lasted, but it’s about time I get what I came for.”

You wheezed, weakly trying to push him away as he kept you pinned down with one hand. Your back was drenched from sweat and blood pooling out of your side.

Everything felt so foggy- you felt numb, and the longer you laid on the floor, the more your eyes were fighting to stay open. You wanted to sleep, still holding onto the childlike belief that this was just a bad dream.

But that thought was shattered when Frank pulled you up and bit you.

The pain was excruciating. A scream ripped out of you, trying to claw, push- everything in your power to break free. But you were physically drained, forced to hear the disgusting slurping of your own blood.

Your mind was cloudy as what felt like minutes went by. Frank finally pulled away, dropping you back on the floor unceremoniously. You lifted your trembling hand to your neck, while Frank watched on with a bloodied smirk.

The broken reflection from the shards on the floor showed you how gnarly the bite looked. Your skin was starting to bruise, deep shades already forming on your skin. Your stomach was turning more when Frank started to chuckle.

You were scared to ask him what he’s laughing for, whatever reasoning bound to fill you with more misery.

You stared on in horror when the bite disappeared.

“What did you do to me?” You whispered, wiping your finger over where the bite was. The area throbbed, but nothing was there. The bruising remained, but the teeth marks were gone.

Your wide eyes locked with his, your voice rising, “What did you to me?!”

“Exactly what I told you. Making you my puppet.”

You were on the brink of hyperventilating, ready to curse and cry out all at once when you suddenly stopped. Any words that would have been said were caught in your throat. The words you tried to force came out choked, only wheezes and short breaths escaping.

“Now that’s more like it.” Tears were forming in your eyes, but you still couldn’t cry out. Your mind was racing, heart about to beat out of your chest when everything went blank.

The horror marking your face was gone, hands falling to your side as you kneeled. Frank stood over you, nudging your form.

You didn’t even budge.

“That fuckin’ freak was onto something when she turned that kid into her puppet.” He grabbed at your face, you still motionless.

Tears streaked down your cheeks, Frank mockingly cooing at you. “It’s too late for tears now.” He bent down to your neck, leaning in close. You couldn’t even flinch.

“Tell me- who do you belong to?”

You had no control over yourself anymore. You were just a passenger in your own body, watching helplessly as words you didn’t choose to say came out.

“I belong to you Frank.”

“Say it again.” He growled.

“I belong to you, Frank.” Your monotone voice filled the room.

He nodded his head once more, commanding you to stand up, which you did without dispute. “If you behave, I’ll think about fully turnin’ you when we get home. Didn’t want to do it too early- I want to make sure I can savor all the fun I can have with you.” He spoke nonchalantly, adjusting his glasses.“But it’s not like you have a choice either way.”

You just stood there blankly, silent tears rolling down your cheek.

Frank ordered you to grab your keys, saying that you had a few stops to make before he could make his decision.

“But for now- let’s start having some real fun.”

[itsaspectrumcomic]

On anon bc identifiable info - advice/thoughts? - This is really long, I'm sorry D: I'm a rambler and all the info is important (to me)

I've always had problems with stuff (according to my mom, "things have always been harder for [me] than everyone else") like I'm always the last one out the door, I lose things a lot (like hats and pencils and water bottles) because I set them down and don't realize, I have a lot of trouble doing textbook homework/notes bc I have trouble focusing

And I have a lot of trouble with social stuff, I never have a lot of friends, I can't keep friends for more than like four years, I feel really disconnected with people and people generally initially like me but like me significantly less after interacting with me a bit

I read a lot, and when I was a kid I would lose all sense of reality outside the book until someone touched me or I finished the book, but I've had a harder and harder time reading anything but fanfic as I've gotten older, and I have a lot of trouble reading very technical/instructions/nonfiction stuff

I have pretty bad insomnia, and spent ~2 years when I was 10-13 ish sleeping ~3-4 hrs/night weekdays and ~12 hrs/night weekends, I have a really hard time getting to sleep specifically - and (tmi maybe tw eating) I've had chronic minor eating issues and constipation (chronic minor dehydration, losing ~ 10 lbs over summers from not eating, etc. like I'm not dying or anything but this will probably eventually cause wear damage)

---

But I'm also a very good student, very smart, generally very good at what I choose to do, I just became a National Merit semifinalist, like, I'm doing "fine". I'm not dying, I'm not failing classes or anything, I've struggled since second semester year before last with getting things done, but I have like a 3.7 gpa rn (I could have a 4 if I tried harder (while I am capable of trying harder, it would destroy me))

I was in Gifted + Talented in elementary school, I'm an honors/ap student (my G+T teacher told my mom that the "gifted" basically means "neurodivergent")

---

I didn't get help for anything until last year, when I kinda fell off (as much as you can fall off while getting a 3.7 gpa ig) and got assessed for insomnia, which I got help with pretty easily (apart for waiting times) which was amazing. Almost went too well iykwim

And I was looking into why I was having such a hard time with everything (social, focus, sleep, schoolwork,etc) and I resonated a lot with autism and some of the feeling very disconnected from society/ other people but I was like eeeh, I'm a teen and idk I'm not, like, having it that bad, so I was looking into more quantitative solid stuff and I took the AQ + CAT-Q + stuff which still have very subjective questions but I tried to be honest and I got 32 (AQ) and 139 (CAT-Q) and 157 (RAADS-R) but like idk I could be biased or misunderstanding or idk

I mentioned feeling like I had more, underlying issues to the doctor I'm seeing for the insomnia and she was basically like "I work with autistic kids - you're not autistic" which like on one hand, you're the expert and I've only really interacted with the internet so idk but on the other, you've spent all of two hours with me, mostly asking me direct questions about my sleep or talking to my mother, like, ofc you haven't seen anything of me. Did I make too much fake eye contact with you?? (BTW if you dislike eye contact for any reason, which I always have, look at noses (my mother taught me this one) or hair (my personal fav) bc it looks like you're looking at the face, but you aren't!!)

this is getting very long winded, I'm sorry if you choose to read all this but thank you it means a lot to me to get someone who knows something's thoughts on this

So I was like "I am having other problems" and she was like "I suspect you may have inattentive type adhd" and I was initially like what?? but I'm not hyperactive. Can't have adhd. What. But I've been kinda thinking about it and lurking at the edge of adhd communities and googling stuff (google is not helpful) and maybe? idk

SO to get to my point/question

I'm very smart. (not tryna be conceited it's just I am) I'm not currently *dying* struggling, though I am having trouble staying on top of classwork

I'm a girl

I live in the USA

I'm pretty good at acting normal, I have a couple friends (one has diagnosed adhd, one has diagnosed autism, one I'm not sure, one I think? could be neurotypical? but she's also like really not idk) (I (only?) have four friends (which is a lot, for me))

I don't know if I'm "adhd enough" (or "autistic enough" if I was right initially) ((or both idk)) to get a diagnosis. I have hypermobility that causes issues with my joints and has led to me not exercising enough and having to quit violin but I'm not hypermobile "enough" to get a diagnosis or help for it (which sucks because it's literally affecting my quality of life, like, I could be an amazing musician if I didn't have this. D: )

If I try, will I get a diagnosis, or will I be "adhd, but not enough"? Should I continue to spend (my parent's insurance) money on this if it probably won't go anywhere? I'm currently 17, starting my senior year of high school. Will things get disrupted in transition to college? If I go abroad for college?

Also, will I crash and burn in college without my mother's considerable support? (tw eating again) I have always had a really hard time getting and preparing and eating food, and without her/structure idk how much I will eat. I loose weight over the summer bc we don't eat as a family much. when I'm on my own, will I struggle even more? Especially trying to juggle food and school and living independently? What about after college? My uncle was fine until he graduated college and now he's alone and a misogynist and mormon and lives with my grandma and seems kinda really miserable except way more hate-filled - am I doomed to the same path?

anyways this is really dark I'm sorry

specific questions for you are:

should I pursue ADHD diagnosis? Autism?

is there anything specific I should mention/not mention/think about?

is there anything you think I (+ people in similar situations) should research, any specific sites/books/communities you think would be valuable?

would therapy help with anything? social, focus, etc. (I have not had a chance, and I have been noncommittal at mentions bc. i strongly dislike people, and talking to people, and emotions ): )

are things in general going to get better, or worse? please be honest, not reassuring

If you decide to answer this, partially or completely, thank you, it means a lot to me to get someone else's thoughts on this, if not, I completely understand, either way, I hope you have a good day :)

Hello! A lot of what you wrote feels very familiar to my own experience - I was also considered a good student but found things increasingly difficult to cope with, struggled socially, lost and forgot stuff, couldn't focus etc. You're definitely not alone in feeling this way!

You are not doomed and you are not your uncle. Things can always get better, even when you're at your lowest. You never know what will happen next - you could make a friend, you could discover a new passion, you could be offered a cool opportunity, you could get the chance to pet a really friendly dog. Life isn't a straight line - you might be struggling for a bit, and then some nice stuff will happen, and then you might go through a rough patch again, but then things will improve again and you might feel better than you did before.

For eating when you go to college - identify the foods you generally find easy to make and eat and make sure you have a supply avaliable for when you're struggling. For me, that's pasta (you can get dry pasta which lasts ages in the cupboard, but you could also try fresh ravioli which has stuff inside like spinach or tomato or cheese so it's a bit more varied), crackers, bananas, and breakfast bars. That way if you can't make a proper meal, you at least eat something. Also try to carry a water bottle with you everywhere (if you struggle to drink water you could try flavoured water or juice.) If you forget about needing to eat you could set alarms to remind yourself.

Side note: did you know that hypermobility and autism very often occur together?

Onto your questions:

should I pursue ADHD diagnosis? Autism?

It's definitely worth looking into - I can't guarantee you'll get a diagnosis because it really depends on the person/people assessing you and some are more biased than others (if you're able to choose, look for people who say they specialise in diagnosing women and girls or have positive reviews from people in that demographic). Personally I found it helped a lot with getting accommodations, people understanding me, and understanding myself (even before the diagnosis was official). I will say it's usually quite a long process so be prepared for that.

Btw, you can definitely have ADHD without being hyperactive - that's the inattentive type which is more about trouble focusing.

is there anything specific I should mention/not mention/think about?

Honestly a lot of what you've written will probably come up in an assessment! I had to fill out a form with info about my experiences as a child and the traits I have now, as did my mum. If you're high masking (basically when you try to act 'normal' and hide your neurodivergent traits) do your best not to mask so the assessor gets to see you as you really are.

is there anything you think I (+ people in similar situations) should research, any specific sites/books/communities you think would be valuable?

Untypical by Pete Wharmby is an excellent book if you want to learn more about autistic experiences. The author is autistic himself and has an engaging writing style.

How to ADHD is a YouTube channel that focuses on coping techiques for ADHD and is informative as well.

I've found the autism communities on Reddit to be welcoming and supportive - you might like r/AutismInWomen which is inclusive and accepting of self diagnosis and those who are questioning.

You could also follow some of these people on instagram:

morgaanfoley - posts about her experiences as an autistic person

_ellawillis - posts about autism and ADHD and their daily life

candy.courn - posts about autism and disability as well as how that intersects with their experience as an asian person. Also has the most beautifully pink house

colourblind_zebra - makes cute and colourful art about chronic illness and neurodiversity

elliemidds - posts about autism and adhd and runs a community called We are Unmasked (weareumasked on insta)

itsemilykaty - posts about autism, mental health, and her book Girl Unmasked (which I haven't read yet but is supposed to be very good!)

Side note: I also have an instagram if you'd like to follow :) I'm itsaspectrumcomic there as well!

would therapy help with anything? social, focus, etc. (I have not had a chance, and I have been noncommittal at mentions bc. i strongly dislike people, and talking to people, and emotions ): )

Therapy can help a lot - with the right therapist! Look for people who specialise in neurodivergence, particularly in girls. The best ones are on the spectrum themselves :) It's OK if you don't click with the first one you try. You can 'shop around' until you find someone you're comfortable with (which I know can be exhausting but it's worth it when you find the right one).

are things in general going to get better, or worse? please be honest, not reassuring

Like I said before, things will get better, and then you might struggle for a while, and then things get better again. It comes in waves, at least for me. I know when you're having a hard time it can feel like it's going to last forever, but I promise it won't. There are always bright spots.

[damagedintellect]

Skk Brainrot

💌 A Walk in Each Other’s Shoes: Chapter 3  💌  

Summary:  “They’ve been like this since returning from their mission following up with the defection of several gifted members. From what Chuuya or rather “Dazai” said a new organization was behind said defections, Sonrisa, created a machine to essentially “steal” abilities-” Chuuya dropped from the ceiling in front of Hirotsu finishing the report “But it didn’t work how they originally designed it and now me and Chuuya switched bodies!” his smile was wide, almost creepily so. Chuuya doesn’t smile often and especially not like that. Without a doubt, it was Dazai in Chuuya’s body.

Notes:  The bodyswap AU no one asked for, Dazai I gift you with emotions, I wanted to play with the hc that “No Longer Human” nullifies more than abilities

💌 Word count: 1,970 💌  <= Previous Chapter | 4 coming soon

In the other room Dazai was having a hard time staying awake. Food, a shower, the long exhausting training montage heck even the slug’s comfortable pajamas were lulling him into this sleepytime junction. It's not like he needed to wait for Chuuya. He knows the other will rewrap the bandages just fine but it's still gnawing at the back of his mind. Although he's starting to wonder, has Chuuya’s couch always been this cozy? Dazai stretched, yawning as he sprawled out over the full surface area, something he couldn’t do before. It felt like the cushions were cradling him in just the right way so that he could pass out without any effort at all. Normally his chronic insomnia would kick in and he'd lay there staring at the ceiling for hours until he took the pills Mori gave him. It frustrated him knowing that Mori took extra measures to prevent him from being able to overdose on them. Which is why Dazai has always treated them as a last ditch effort. Right now however Dazai thinks this is the first time he's going to fall asleep without copious amounts of effort on his part. A soft smile graced his lips as his eyes slipped shut.

Chuuya didn’t take very long showers so color him surprised that in the span of maybe ten minutes tops Dazai had managed to pass out on the couch. That's gotta be a record for the mackerel. Chuuya’s never seen himself look so peaceful before. It's bizarre to know that this is Dazai in his body. He frowns, if Dazai wasn’t awake then that means he rewrapped most of the bandages for nothing. 

“Tsk”

Chuuya fluffed his freshly blow dried hair as he grabbed a blanket and draped it over him. At least he didn't have to hear Dazai nag him that he couldn't sleep and that the only way to remedy it was for Chuuya to tell him a bedtime story. He only fell for that bullshit once and it was more out of habit than anything else. It's not his fault he used to do that back in the sheep for some of their younger members. Dazai teased him about it for a week even though he was the one who fucken asked!

Chuuya turned off the lights and flopped down on his own bed. His body was tired but his mind was so awake. Which was unlike him. Typically Chuuya could fall asleep any time anywhere. He rolled over to his side and groaned. 

“Don't tell me this is curtsy of one of Dazai’s bodily quirks.”

He mumbled in frustration as he got out of bed. Sometimes Chuuya will fall asleep listening to music. If he plays some it might help. He turned the volume down low and crawled back under the covers, closing his eyes. The last thing he needs is for Dazai to wake up complaining about the music. He tries to focus on the melody while imagining laying in an open field. The warmth of the sun, a nice breeze, just the quiet serenity of being at peace. Chuuya frowns, it isn't working. He smothers himself with his pillow. It was going to be a long night.

___

The feeling of weightlessness and floating in a dark expanse. It reminded Dazai of the first time he jumped in the river except it was less cold and wet. There was no uncomfortable pressure pulling air from his lungs but somehow he could still hear his muffled screaming. Slowly he opened his eyes only to be met with the ceiling fan not more than a foot from his face. In a panic he was dropped from a decent height as he woke up and registered what had been happening. 

He whimpered on the floor groggily as he regained his composure. The dull ache of falling was only second to whatever that incessant noise was. Rubbing his lower back, Dazai finally realized what the familiar sound was and stumbled to Chuuya’s room. As he swung the door open he was met with the sound of his own voice screaming. It was sincerely grating on the ears and at this volume it really was going to wake up the whole neighborhood. Now you’re not supposed to wake people up from nightmares but at this moment in time Dazai didn’t give a shit, he wanted to go back to sleep. Plus it was his body he could do whatever he wanted to it. 

Chuuya seemed to be twisting and turning in the center of the bed. It took Dazai a moment staring at his own face before he jumped into action. For a split second part of him thought this was a dream where he is outside of his body watching himself having a nightmare. He nearly forgot about their little switch despite being woken up because he was using Chuuya’s ability by accident. He wasn't sure how to go about waking his counterpart. Dazai tried to grab his shoulder but was easily pushed away, almost thrown off the side of the bed. To be fair he had to lean pretty far over to reach the other. The bed frame was raised fairly high considering Chuuya’s height and it didn’t help that his bed was a big luxury mattress so the center was much further than normal. With all of Chuuya’s thrashing about Dazai decided to crawl on top of him to shake him awake.

“Hey. Chuuya it's just a dream, you're gonna wake the whole neig-”

Chuuya’s eyes snapped open as he bolted upright eyes frantically darting around the room before scowling at Dazai being mere inches apart. He didn't say anything, still trying to process the visions his subconscious tailor made for him. He layed back down covering his face, annoyed. Just when he finally drifted to sleep he was awoken harshly by his own corrupted thoughts, and Dazai.

“Get off.” Chuuya demanded. Dazai compiled but opted to sit next to him pulling his knees to his chest. The former brunette made no effort to leave or get off the bed. They both looked at each other for a moment before Chuuya huffed again.

“Now get out.”

Chuuya continued to glare at him when he didn’t move. It was bad enough he had to be shaken awake, he didn't need Dazai’s pity too. There was an awkward pause between the two as Dazai mulled over how to bring up the theory in his mind.

“You know, I memorized your files back at the lab. I didn't think it was possible but science was able to do this,” he gestured to each other. “So I'm not really that surprised anymore.”

Chuuya raised an eyebrow as he crossed his arms. “What’s your point?”

“N somehow figured out how to revoke your capacity for dreaming. Naturally your brain would have a backlog to process, especially now that you have a vessel that has the capability.” Dazai pulled back the blanket enough to shimmy his way in, making himself at home beside Chuuya. Dazai already thought the couch was comfy but he was not prepared for the heavenly feeling of Chuuya’s bed. He practically melted into sleep again had it not been to the tension that lingered over the elephant in the room.

“Oi, I said get out!” Chuuya sat up about to push him away but Dazai sighed. “I don't like it either but unless you want to get your dick stuck in the ceiling fan you have to at least be within arms reach.”

Chuuya raised an eyebrow. “You were sleep floating? I haven’t done that since I first joined the sheep.” 

Dazai stiffened. Well that seemed to tank his self esteem. He was only as good as a seven year old, and here he thought he had natural talent considering the given circumstances. While he never properly studied physics in school it wasn’t that hard to understand. That’s disappointing, but not more disappointing than being stark awake now. They both took a long pause, it was starting to make Dazai uncomfortable. Chuuya was being too quiet, what happened to trying to kick him out? Dazai cleared his throat. “So how’d you stop the sleep floating?”

“Like hell if I know! I guess I just learned how to use my ability.” Chuuya grumbled, turning around. The warmth coming off of Dazai was oddly comforting especially since he was still shaken up. Chuuya has figured out that Dazai’s ability doesn’t completely nullify his emotions otherwise he wouldn’t be so on edge at the moment, it just dampens them severely. In a way he’s almost glad the other stayed. Although he didn’t want to talk about it in its entirety, but an eye for an eye. Chuuya hummed to himself. 

“Are all dreams like that?”

“Not particularly, but I don’t know what happened.” Dazai turned his head to look back at Chuuya. “You wanna talk about it?”

“Absolutely not, I just want to go back to sleep.”

“Fair enough.” 

They fell silent after that, letting the faint piano fill the dead air. Once again Dazai felt like he was floating but this time it was because Chuuya’s bed felt like sleeping on a cloud. The soft music was starting to lull him back to sleep with ease. He yawned loudly, spreading his limbs out. Dazai was on the cusp of sleep when he heard Chuuya grumble “Your body sucks.” When Chuuya didn’t get a response he turned around to see his counterpart had already fallen asleep.

“You gotta be fucken kidding me.” Still no response, Dazai was out like a light. Chuuya huffed watching his chest rise and fall. He still wasn’t used to the fact that he was able to stare at his own face in the candid. On impulse he reached out to poke his cheek, surprisingly squishy. He retracted his hand as Dazai’s face twitched, his mouth fell open slightly as he turned toward where Chuuya’s finger was. A few strands of red hair fell with the movement. Chuuya couldn’t help but marvel at his face. He didn’t know how to describe what he was feeling. His hands itched for some reason and he was starting to have heart palpitations and the longer he observed his face the warmer he felt his cheeks get. Chuuya took a deep breath and turned around. That was weird, he doesn’t remember feeling this sensation earlier. Was it residual tremors from the nightmare? It’s not impossible but he doubts it. Without any information he can’t exactly deduce what the strange echo is supposed to be so he shrugs and tries to go back to sleep.

He tries to slow his heart rate down and steady his breathing. Once again attempting to quiet his mind and clear his thoughts. It seemed to be working until he felt the blanket being gently pulled off his body. His eyes snap open to see Dazai starting to float up, taking the blanket with him. Not good. Luckily he was still within arm's distance and as Chuuya grabbed the other’s hand he flopped back down on the bed starfishing out into Chuuya’s personal space. The former redhead rolled his eyes. He didn’t bother pushing Dazai’s leg away nor did he let go of his hand. If he didn’t want Dazai floating away again they would need to be touching anyway so what’s the point. 

Coincidentally the warmth radiating off of his body was strangely soothing and after a few minutes he could feel his eyes getting heavy. Chuuya exhales, repositioning himself to absorb as much warmth as possible. His body was finally relaxing enough to drift back to sleep after being stark away for what felt like hours. Eventually the soft music faded away from his focus as he finally nodded off.

[kikiyoomis]

kissed me breathless

how many drinks has it been? seven? eight? maybe nine?

it may be even more, you've certainly stopped counting after a couple of drinking games that had you too competitive to focus on anything else. everything's a blur, you don't remember who you came here with nor remember the reason why you're here at this house party.

it's early in the morning, possibly 3 or 4 am. the moon is high in the sky and the number of people at the party has significantly decreased since you've arrived. you feel like it's also time for you to leave, to finally go home and reduce the pains of an oncoming hangover but you're unable to bring yourself to.

you're instead threading your fingers through dark, messy curls, tugging it ever so slightly as he continues to kiss you like it was his last time. it probably will be his last time. and so you kiss the stranger back.

he's tall, handsome, and a good kisser on top of that. he's doing everything right. kissing with the right amount of pressure, holding your face tenderly while pulling you in for another round. the kisses are slow, sensual and despite the fact that the both of you are drunk, it was the most romantic make out session of your life. it's clear that he doesn't want to let you go, and you don't wanna go either.

you're not quite sure how you got into this situation. was it the countless shots of liquid courage? this was something sober you wouldn't have ever done. but after hours of doing nothing but make out with this stranger, it has been the most enchanting thing you've done tonight and you don't regret it at all.

"i can't get enough of you," he says, breaking away slightly to catch his breath. you take this chance to really take a look at his face. it's slightly sweaty from kissing you but you find him extremely attractive. the two moles above his eyebrow steals your attention, preventing you from looking away. and his voice was deep and quiet, saying things only for you to hear.

he leans in for another kiss, this one lighter and more cautious than the previous ones. it makes you yearn for more.

and so you kiss him back with more intensity.

i want you, your kisses seem to say.

and he understands it completely, matching your speed and pressure as his other hand slides towards the small of your back to pull you in closer for a deeper kiss.

with your heart pounding, you gather the courage to finally ask the stranger for his name. you don't want to leave this night without knowing the stranger that left you so breathless.

"sakusa," he says, and after a brief pause he adds on, "kiyoomi."

with a smile, you whisper his name back to him. repeatedly saying it between each peck you leave on his lips. it was like the more you said it, the less likely you were to forget it.

"hey, you have to tell me your name too," he says, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. and so you tell him your name.

by now the party is nearly at a standstill, the only people left were those passed out drunk, those waiting for a ride home and the small group of friends still talking and laughing about something that had happened.

sakusa takes a step back, leaving you afraid of him leaving. you knew it would happen soon but "soon" didn't actually prepare you enough for when it was actually going to happen.

"the party is pretty much over," he says to you. you nod in agreement, looking around at your surroundings.

"i don't want you to go," you blurt out honestly. an instance of regret washes over you for saying something so bold and blunt without thinking. but if he leaves, what if this was truly the last time you see him?

"well, i dont plan on sleeping here. it's a one way ticket for various illnesses to enter my body since the end state of this party is so disgusting. i already shouldn't have come here to begin with, my head hurts from all the alcohol miya had me drink," sakusa says in a matter of fact tone, different from the tone he used when he was kissing you.

your heart drops, thinking that this was his moment of clarity and that he regrets the time he has spent with you. you wish it wasn't this way.

he pulls a mask from out of his pocket, looping one end around an ear. "however, my place has a bed fit for two. this party might be done for the night but if you want, ours can end a little later," he says with a grin before covering it with the mask.

you smile at the opportunity, and happily accept it. this was not going to be your last time seeing sakusa.

[elly99]

Golden Hour

Part 4 of 5. Check here for more details.

"Wake up!"

Your phone screamed a recording from one of her Phoning lives. There was no better way to be woken up than by one of her morning calls. It helped you miss her less. And it made you love her more.

You'd been looking forward to this day all week. She was finally coming home. You barely slept last night. All you could think about was her. And that was still the case as you scrambled to get ready, the adrenaline keeping you going, despite running on only three hours of sleep. It was time to make her breakfast like you promised.

You had just begun preparations when you heard the bell ring. Your heart nearly jumped out of your chest. You were not expecting her this early. You could not have run to the door any faster, but she knew your code and was already in the hallway.

"Good morning, bunny!" Her eyes light up when she sees you and she immediately runs to you with arms outstretched. She gives you the tightest bear hug and you feel all your anxiety squeezed out of you. All you worries fly out the door she just came through. She was home and nobody could be happier than you.

Except maybe her. "I missed you so much," she whines, still hugging you tight. "I missed this."

"I missed you, too, Min. So much." You finally take a step back to appreciate how beautiful she was. Not that you were surprised. "Babe, you look amazing! I love your highlights!"

"Aw, thank you! And you look adorable, baby! Did you just get out of bed? Your hair looks funny again," she says giggling.

"Yeah, you got here so early! I've only just started on breakfast."

"Sorry, I just missed you too much. Had to get here as soon as I could." She gives you a quick peck on the lips.

Then you realize you owe her something. You cup her face with your hands and give her a gentle kiss in return, closing your eyes and letting time slow down. "I love you, baby."

"I love you, too. Thought you forgot about that one."

"Luckily you reminded me," you wink and spot her blushing a little. "Wanna sit down? I'll just finish prepping breakfast."

"No. I'm going to keep hugging you and you can't stop me."

Not that you'd ever try to stop her hugging you from behind while you prepare food.

"What are you making?" she asks into your back.

"French toast! I also got you some vanilla ice cream and watermelon for later if you want."

"Oh my gosh, really?" She tightens her hold on you.

"Of course, babe. I know you love those."

"I love you more~!"

You almost drop the bread on the ground.

It takes a bit longer to prepare a meal with a clingy bear on your back, so breakfast turns into brunch. But it didn't matter, because with her here, you felt you had all the time in the world.

At the table you both talk about your week, feed each other, laugh together, and you realize you want nothing but this in your future. You just wanted her in your life forever. To see her smile everyday. To make her happy every chance you could.

Even as you put the dishes away, she back hugs you. Even doing the most mundane things, she manages to make you feel like you're in a dream. Despite being fresh out of bed, she tells you you're beautiful. And despite you knowing it already, she never fails to remind you that she loves you.

"Wait on the couch, baby. Let me just get something."

She comes running back carrying your stuffed bunny in one hand and her hair brush in the other.

"Oh, hey! It's Tokki!"

"Take good care of him, ok?"

"Of course I will!" you exclaim, holding the toy close. "I just realized we never named the bear I got you."

She starts brushing your hair. "Oh, I named it after you. I just forgot to tell you. I hug it to sleep every night," she says calmly.

But you were anything but calm after that. "Why are you so sweet, Minji-yah~?" you squeal.

She mouths the words, "I love you," then gets off the couch and hooks up her phone into your stereo system.

"Minji baby," you call. "I have a problem. Can you help me?" you ask, pouting.

She looks up from her phone, flipping her hair slightly, and smiles at you. "Come here," she says gently, beckoning you over. "Come dance with me." Ethereal piano starts playing.

I was all alone with the love of my life She's got glitter for skin, my radiant beam in the night I don't need no light to see you shine

You feel butterflies throughout your whole body. You quickly stand up and practically run into her arms. She holds you by the waist, pulling you close, and in a soft whisper she asks, "What's the matter, baby?"

Completely red in the cheeks with how tender she's being right now, you lock your hands around her and answer shyly, "I'm a little obsessed with you."

"I see," she says, grinning. "Ok, don't worry. Dr. Kim will help you." She leads the dance, pulling you gently back and forth. "What are your symptoms?"

"Um. I miss you all the time. I keep thinking about you. About hugging you. Kissing you. Listening to your voice and your laugh. Watching you play with your hair. Seeing you smile. I didn't get much sleep last night cuz I was so excited to see you again."

"Hmm. It doesn't seem like a huge problem to me," she teases. "It just sounds like you're in love."

You laugh softly. "I guess I am."

You slow down time In your golden hour

"I've been listening to this song a lot, actually. How did you know?"

"Well, in my professional opinion, it seems we're soulmates. I can read your mind."

"Oh, yeah? What am I thinking about now then?"

"Me. Hehe." She gives you a cheeky smile.

"I mean, yeah, but that's obvious. What exactly am I thinking?"

"Mmm, you're wondering whether or not I'm obsessed with you, too."

Goosebumps. "How did you know?"

"Like I said, I can read your mind. Don't you trust Dr. Kim?"

"With my life," you reassure and pull her in for a kiss. "So, are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Don't make me say it again, bro."

"I don't know what you're talking about," she smiles and kisses you back.

You fight the urge to just melt into her arms and instead try to give her your best puppy dog eyes. "Are you obsessed with me, too?"

She stays silent for a while and looks straight at you. Then with a soft smile she nods cutely and pulls you in for a hug. "I'm in love with you."

Can you even imagine falling like I did for the love of my life? She's got glow on her face, a glorious look in her eyes My angel of light

As the song fades out, your small steps come to a stop. Standing still in each other's arms, you bask in the lingering warmth of your first slow dance together.

"Why haven't we done this before?" you ask. "I loved it. I love when you take the lead."

"I'm glad! I really did want to dance with you. Been thinking about it for a while now."

"You were totally trying to rizz me up, weren't you?"

She laughs. "No~! Why would I need to do that, silly bunny? You're already mine," she says with a smirk on her pretty little face.

Who needs makeup when Kim Minji can make the brightest colors appear on your cheeks with just a few words?

Satisfied with her knockout blow, she lowers her arms from around you and takes hold of your hands. "You wanna cuddle and nap, baby? Since you said you didn't get much sleep last night. Doctor's recommendation!"

"I'd love that. Will you be the big or little spoon?"

"Neither. We're the same height, bro."

"You know what I mean!"

She lifts your hands up and plants a kiss on each of them. "I'll be the big spoon so you can sleep."

How was anyone allowed to be this perfect?

Now in her arms, on your bed, windows glowing in the afternoon sun, it was almost the exact same situation you found yourself in a week ago, when you pondered satellite metaphors. But this time around, in her golden hour, your thoughts were at peace. Cozy under the blanket with just her, you left no space for any unrest. You melt into her embrace and quickly let sleep take over.

You wake up to the sunset streaming through your window. You hear her gentle snoring and didn't want to wake her, but you realize that you'd both slept through dinner time. So you slowly get up from her embrace to sit beside her. She looked so pretty sleeping peacefully like this. You couldn't help but play with her hair. You knew she loved when you did. Sure enough, your gentle touch wakes her from her slumber.

"Hey, baby bear. We overslept. It's past dinner time."

"Let's order some food then. What do you wanna eat?"

"You choose! I made brunch, so it's your turn."

"Ok, I'll try to find something interesting," she says, already scrolling through her phone. "Can you spoon me in the meantime? My turn to be little spoon."

She didn't even have to ask. You gently lift her up so you can wrap one arm around her and pull her close.

"And keep playing with my hair, please," she says adorably and smiles when you oblige. "I love when you do that."

It was so soft. Just like everything else about her. Just like your heart for her.

Cuddling in comforting silence, waiting for your food to arrive, she asks, "Have you still been worrying about us?"

"A little."

"But why, my love? You know I love you, right? No matter what."

Your lips curl into a smile. "I know," you say as you kiss her cheek.

"So don't worry. I'm not going anywhere," she whispers and smiles back at you encouragingly.

"I just worry about people finding out. Like, I'm always so scared and I wish I didn't have to be. I know you just like staying home on your off days, and I love resting at home with you, too. But it just makes me sad every time I think about something couples do and realize we can't."

"Like what, baby?"

"Um, like, traveling. I've been thinking about going to Spain with you and seeing all the places where you shot your music videos. Or, like, dressing up nice to go on fancy dates with you. Like to that museum you visited with the members! Or even just going to the cinema and cuddling in the dark while watching a movie."

"We can do that last one at home, silly," she giggles. "And we can try to do more of those things, too! We just need to be careful."

"Aren't you scared?"

"I am. But then I remember I have you and I know everything will be ok. You're all I need."

All you can do is smile and hug her tighter. You, too, had everything you needed right here in your arms.

"You've been thinking about a lot, haven't you?"

"Of course! Haven't you?"

She pauses. "Honestly, I just think about being with you and that makes me happy."

You felt an arrow shoot straight through your chest. Speechless, you bury your face in her neck, smiling profusely.

"I know what you mean, though, baby. I want all of those things, too."

She gently takes your hands and holds on tight, like she'd never let go.

"The right time will come eventually. Then we won't have to hide anymore."

You had never believed in palm reading, but looking at the way your fingers interlocked in the golden light, the way your hands fit perfectly in hers, your future never seemed clearer. It was her. It would always be her.

"Just wait for me, ok?"

"Of course, baby," you reply softly. You didn't care that it was impossible to pull her closer to you. You tried anyway. "Always."

It would be hard, but you'd wait an eternity for her.

"I'm in love with you, Min."

It would be hard, but it didn't matter. Because you were all alone with the love of your life.

[noralia20]

I still love you (J.P)

Summary: James left due to the war without any hints or warning. But when he comes back, he's scared that the love of his life moved on. His fear come true when he spots you and Amos Diggory with a little boy at a park. Will James Potter find the guts to talk to you again?

Warnings: none really

Disclaimer: I do not own any of those pictures, found them on pinterest

Word count : 4,631

He left. Why you did not know before a long time.

It was less than a year after graduating Hogwarts. You and James, after already three years of relation decided to take a small house in the suburbs of London. You guys met on the train in second year. He had never heard of you but you surely heard of him. It clicked immedialtly with the marauders, and you were also the one who discovered first about Remus' "furry little problem" as James likes to call it. You helped him through anything. You even became an animagus.

James fell utterly and hopelessly in love with you, as you did too. However, it took you guys 4 years to make out the courage to confess. "The four longest years of my life" as Sirius wouldn't stop saying. You couldn't blame him, the poor guy had to see you gush on one another and make him lose his earing by listening to your nonstop description of the other. But that's another story.

You and James were talking a lot about marriage as you one day promised to marry as soon as dropping out of school. But war caught up to your plans and you were now very occupied with the Order.

It was a Friday night, a full moon night to be exact. James forbade you to come with the guys since they were out of wolfsbane. You swore you had a pare bottle in the cabinet but when you went to look for it, it was effectively gone. You knew James and his overprotective side and decided not to argue with him about it. That night he looked awfully quiet.

Y/N: James... You are awfully quiet.

James: Nothing to worry about love. *gets up* I'll take my leave.

He went towards the door, and you followed him. You stopped directly in front of the doorstep while he turned around a the bottom of the doorsteps. He looked even more handsome in the shining light of the twilight. Oh, how much would you give to marry that man right now... He looked at you intensely, with love, passion and somewhat a hint of sadness. You frowned at this last thought. And he noticed, of course he did. He smiles through the unexplained worry painted on his face.

James: 'Be back before you can say "blueberry pie". *turns around*

Y/N: Blueberry pie.

You rushed it out and he didn't have the time to take a step before turning back around. Something inside of you didn't want to let him go. Why does this whole situation seemed like a goodbye, he would only be gone for the night.

James: *smiles* Maybe not that fast... But pretty fast. Okay?

Y/N: Okay.

James: Bye.

You didn't have the time to answer that he already apparated somewhere, probably to Moony's house.

That night you didn't manage to sleep properly until pas 2 am. You had this feeling in your gut that wouldn't go away.

And that felling didn't get better the next day. You waited hours for James to pass the door, waiting to be stitched up. But it never came. Finally, you decided to go to Moony's house. You apparated around 7 pm. The house seemed empty, but you still went towards the door. You had called home, but nobody answered, maybe the boys fell asleep from exhaustion because of the night prior. You knocked not even once that the door pushed open. Revealing a cold and empty house. You checked if you were at the good address, you were. You rushed throughout the house and called for your friends. You tried to call, Lily, Marlene even Alice wouldn't respond to your calls. You went to each of their house, everything was the same. Empty, cold with nobody around. Where were they, they didn't leave anything, not a hint. You had only one place to go to, the old house the black. You arrived at 12 Grimmauld place and recited the spell normally used. You waited, nothing worked. You tried, again and again. Soon falling to your knees from exhaustion, sobbing in your hands. You knew what that meant. You friends were gone, they left you, the Order left you, the love of your life left you. The only people you trusted and loved with all your soul just left without a word, a hint... You were what you feared the most: alone, again...

You obviously realised it was all planned. For the past few days, the interaction with your friends were short. You thought it was for security. But the look that James had the day before told everything, they all planned to leave you, and they succeeded. Why did they leave, you didn't know. And wouldn't for a very long time. That night you cried your whole soul, hugging one of James' favourite shirt to your chest. His smell was the only thing you had left of him, as well as some photos. And promised one thing, you wouldn't fall in love anymore. If you were going to fall in love, you were going with him. Only, James Fleamont Potter.

~2 years later~

You were now 20 and still no sign of live of your dearest friends. With time, you came to the assumption you weren't made to fight by their side. So, you did your research, you arrested a few death eaters, created an orphanage for the children of our dear passed wizards and witches. You offered them what you didn't have since he left: a home. In their eyes you could sometimes see the look of your friends. You still lived in that house James and you bought. You still loved him. How could you not, he was the man made for you. Maybe he was dead, maybe all of them were. That thought kept you awake at night. The mornings your stomach would twist at the new listing of the war victims. You knew that muggles were also being more attacked, so you raised a barrier around your neighbourhood and the orphanage. It was taking a lot of energy but you knew he would have done the same. You lived and became a better person thinking what he would do.

Right now, you were in your office at the orphanage, looking at some photos taken by and of your friends.

You would have given everything for just one day, one day back at Hogwarts. You looked at the photo, smiling at your friends' antics. Suddenly, a knock was heard on your door and a small head peered out.

Y/N: Mary? What is it?

She nervously smiled; she made you sometimes think of Remus.

Mary: There's a lady asking for you outside.

Y/N: Oh, then I should get that. *standing up* Thank you for warning hun, you can go back to what you were doing.

You exited the office, walking towards the entrance, swaying in between children as they saluted you. You smiled in response but your mind was somewhere else, who might that lady be? Just as you were to enter the room the mysterious lady was in, you heard a loud bang.

Y/N: Oh my! Danny! Are you alright?! I already told you not to fly on a broom inside.

Daniel: It's okay Miss Y/N. No mischief made.

"It's okay N/N. No mischief made."

Your eyes widen, the flashback hitting you hard. He said that one day after he ran away on his broom after some prank, crashing in the Gryffindor common room. "James" you whispered.

?: I was about to say the same.

That voice, no it can't be.

Y/N: Lils?

You turned around to see a red head, smiling at you. She looked tired but in a good health. You wanted to yank your arms around her but some invisible force was stopping you from it.

Lily: Hello Y/N.

Y/N: W-What. H-How-

Lily: I'm here for that. But could we talk somewhere more, private.

You guided her through the halls, back to your office. You sat down and offered her a cup of tea. You made like you used to do in Hogwarts.

Lily: You didn't change I see, still 2 sugars and-

Y/N: -One tablespoon of cream. Yeah. So what about you?

She sighed deeply.

Lily: you know, the war the Order...

Y/N: Actually, I wouldn't know because you left me. Without a goodbye, a hint, no you just erased every trace of your existence in my life.

Anger was fuelling inside of you. You wanted answers, you deserved them.

Lily: N/N, you have every right to be angry right now but-

Y/N: Hell, yeah, I do. You come back after two years just saying hi and expect like nothing happened. You know I thought I knew you Evans but clearly I don't.

She winced at the use of that name, and you turned to refill your cup.

Lily: I'm here to tell you that the war has came to an end.

You stopped in your track, no more war, peace, over, no more fear. You turned to her and she nodded, telling me she was saying the absolute truth. Like a wave of relief, your spell of protection broke and you fell to your knees. Lily rushed to your side. She told you everything. When James realised hard times were coming, he wanted nothing but to put you away from danger. And the only way was getting you away from them. So for months he argued with his friends until they accepted his request. The night of the full moon, there was still wolfsbane, James took it from the cabinet, so it was obviously not there when you searched for it. At the same time, evry house of the people you knew was being emptied. When James left you that night, he apparated at Grimmauld place. Lily said she had never seen him so expressionless, so quiet, so pale. He didn't say anything the whole day after that. He didn't do anything but stare blankly at the wall before him. he knew that with one word we would all go back and explain it to you, but he knew he couldn't. Nothing happened until you apparated in front of the place, trying to open it with the usual spell. When you broke down on the floor, James heart ripped apart and he fell on his knees at the same time you did. Never they saw him cry and scream so much. Sirius and Remus had to drag him to his room. James was never the same after that. Only the passion of seeing you one day kept him alive.

Lily: We all decided it was wiser to cut every information about your current life so we wouldn't be tempted. That is until today. Last night, James managed to kill Voldemort. I'm not suppose to be here, we promised ourself that we would wait until the announce of the end of the war would be pronounced. That is after all the death eaters will be arrested. But I couldn't wait, I searched for you, and I'm here to apologise. From all of us.

Y/N: ...Okay, that's a lot to take in... But I do forgive you. I want the other to come and see me if they want to earn my forgiveness.

She looked at you and directly nodded. She embraced you in a tight hug and noticed a photo behind your back. It was one of you and Amos Diggory, you got close when your friends got away and he was sometimes helping you at the orphanage. You absolutely loved his son, Cedric and his spouse. But that, Lily didn't know.

Lily: I have to go before I get caught.

Y/N: I'll help you find your way out.

Lily: Don't worry, I'll find it myself.

On her way to leave, she noticed a ring on your finger. Were you married? What would James say.

Lily's pov

I arrived at Grimmauld place and tried to make my way back to my room. But I was stopped by five guys and two girls, waiting for me in the living room. Shoot busted.

Remus: And where were you young lad?

Lily: I was... grocery shopping.

Marlene: Weird, because I don't see any grocery with you.

Lily: That's because they were out of everything. Sirius: Out of everything ?

Alice: Now come on Lils, the truth please. Where were you?

Lily: Ugh, just don't be mad. I-I was... with N/N.

Even though, she only said it barely above a whiper, they all heard it. James who has been awfully quiet till then, like usual now, was up on his feet. He rushed towards me before anybody could.

James: When, how, is she okay?

Lily: Okay, all of you sit down, I'll tell you.

They all sat down in the living room and I took a big breath.

Lily: She's fine, she's perfectly fine. Still with her tea with two sugars and one tablespoon.

They all smiled remembering the morning at Hogwarts, with you "Y/N tea" as you liked to call it.

Lily: She's the headmaster of an orphanage of deceased wizards and wiches. She's very loving, I can see it in her eyes. She makes me thing about Professor McGonagall when she was with you four boys. She was angry when she saw me, however when she learned that the war was no longer, she collapsed.

I saw James' body tense up and I turned to him.

Lily: Not because she was in a bad health but rather because of shock and relief. At the same time, she released a protection spell, you know that weird spell we haven't been able to identify who it was from, well from her. I explained what happened two years ago. And-

Tears of emotion started to build up in my eyes. Marlene soothed me with rubbing a hand on my back.

Lily: And she forgave me. She said she'll do the same with you if you come to apologise directly to her.

They all looked at each other, tears glistening.

James: Lils, did she tell you anything about me?

I came to the realisation that I had to tell James what I saw.

Lily: James... I think Y/N is married...

James pov

Lily: James... I think Y/N is married...

The words kept spinning, weird the world too. Suddenly I felt Pads' hand on my shoulder. I saw him mouthing my name but no sound came to my ears.

Remus: -mes... -ames... James!

I snapped my head towards moony, I don't know how but I was back on the couch.

Marlene: He's in shock.

Remus: James, can you hear me?

James: Y-yea, moony I can. No need to shout.

Padfoot: You scared us there, pal.

James: She's married...

Lily: James-

James: I have to see her.

Remus: James I don't think that's a good idea.

James: Lily, tell me where is she?

I took her by her frail shoulders.

Lily: I-

James: Where in the bloody hell is she?!

She flinched at the raise of my voice. She looked at my eyes, looking any signs of reason inside of me.

Lily: *sighed* XXXX.

James: Thanks, Lils.

I kissed her cheek and directed outside.

Lily: But I still don't think that's-

She didn't the chance to finish that I was already gone.

Nobody's pov

Marlene: He'll never listen, will he?

Sirius: That's James we're talking about. What were you expecting.

Lily: But I never said I was sure! I just saw a ring on her finger and a photo of her hugging Amos-

Frank: Amos? As in Amos Diggory?

Lily: Well, yes...

Frank: He had a crush on her during fourth year, but I didn't see it going that far...

Remus: Now's not the time for that, we have to get James before he does something really stupid. You stay here, Wormtail, Padfoot, let's go.

With that, they all apparated near the orphanage.

James: She's not here, where the hell is she?

Sirius: Wow, easy Prongs.

Remus: Maybe she's back at yours and her appartement, Lily told me she did not change.

James: She didn't?

He shook his head. Before they could protest, James was already gone, and they followed.

They all appeared next to the small house. James hurried himself to look through the windows. Everything was pitch black, nobody home. Where were you? Did some death eaters catch you? He was pulled away from his thoughts when he heard some giggling. He transformed into his animagus form, Sirius and Peter did the same while Remus hid behind a bush. They all walk slowly to the source of the sound, they had to go through a group of trees, a little forest. When they emerged out of it, what they saw broke James' heart. Here you were, in the small park you and James dreamed of playing with your children there. Except that you were with the one and only: Amos Diggory. Laughing with a ring on your finger.

But that wasn't the only thing. You were laughing with a little boy, not older than two. He looked very much like you, same eyes, same smile. You were married and with a child. You made James' worst fear come true, you moved on and realised your dreams, without him.

Y/N: Cedric! Come back here, you little munchkin!

Cedric? So that was the name of your son? He couldn't hate the child, after all he was half part of you. He heard Padfoot whimper, signalling him it was better to go. They changed back and without a word being said got back to Grimmauld place. As soon as they got there, James went up the stairs locking himself in his room, his friends calling after him. but what could they do, they all saw the same thing, you were happy, with someone else.

This situation lasted three months, James wouldn't go out of his room except to shower and go to the bathroom. His life was definitely over. By trying to protect what was the most important to him, he lost it anyway. And the worst part was that when he would go out, he would hear about how his other half is so happy.

On the other side, everyone went one by one to apologise. They did not stumble upon the fact that you were married, as your relationship was a bit fragile with all those years missing. But with time it got back like it was before. Except for one thing, James never came, and you didn't know why. War was over, he could go back to you. So, what was stopping him? Maybe he moved on, realised you weren't good enough for him. You didn't dare to ask your friends about it, until one day.

You were all at the orphanage, one night when all the kids were asleep. You were drinking fire whiskey while going through some album of you guys early years at Hogwarts. It had come an occurrence for them to pass by the orohanage, no much that the kids started to call them: Auntie Lily, Uncle Moony, Dadfoot...

Sirius: Oh, my lord, I remember that day. You turned Prongs' hair green just before a big game for revenge about one of your favourite sweater being ruined by his pranks.

Silence was made at the mention of Prongs' name. Marlene cleared her throat, closing the album in her hands.

Marlene: What about you N/N? when are you going to show us some pictures of the wedding?

Y/N: T-The wedding?

Marlene: Oh don't act fool now N/N. We all already know.

Y/N: What are you talk-

Lily: Ouh, ouh, yes. And I want photos from the day Cedric was born, with al the pregnancy. Who's his godparents by the way.

Sirius: I bet it's me, right N/N?

Remus: It would certainly be me.

You watched in horror as they argued about Cedric's godparents. You were his godmother, what were they on about?

Y/N: OoOkay, guys, GUYS. *all stopped* I don't understand a word you're saying.

Lily: Sorry, we just want to see some pictures of your wedding and your married life with Amos and your son.

Y/N: My son? Wedding? I'm not married nor that I gave birth to a child.

Sirius: Then what's with the ring, and your relationship with Diggory.

Y/N: That's my mother's ring, I just wear it that way so men would stop to flirt around me. And Amos is just a friend, he helped me build this orphanage. Wait did you really think I married him ? And gave birth to Cedric? Come on, he was born when we were still back at Hogwarts! I'm only his godmother.

Their faces went pale, they all understood and made a big mistake. They broke the heart of their deer friend without meaning to. They all looked at each other and nodded.

Remus: I'm sorry N/N, but we have to go, we'll see you tomorrow. Promise.

Y/N:Oh, okay, just be careful on your way back.

They all got home and as soon as they entered the house, the boys were rushing up the stairs, screaming for James.

Marauders: James! Prongs! JAMES!

He was in his bed and woke up in a startle.

James: What, what?

Sirius: She's not married mate.

James: What? *not fully awake* Remus: James Fleamont Potter, listen to us. Y/n is not married nor had Amos' child. We were all wrong.

That time James understood and got up quickly on his feet.

James: WHAT?!

Peter: Please don't make us repeat.

James: So, she never was married. Did she say anything else? Like about waiting for me.

Remus: Uhm, we didn't ask her.

Sirius: We rushed here to tell you.

His shoulders slumped down, how was he sure that you still loved him. you didn't ask about him which was quite fair since he was the one who left. He sat down on the bed and suddenly felt like that teenage boy again. Unsure about the fact that you share his feelings, only now, his friends weren't sure as well.

Sirius: What are you still doing here? Go, go talk to her!

James: I'm not sure Pads, what if she doesn't love me anymore?

Remus: Are you mad, of course she does!

James: Who told you that? How does she react at the mention of my name?

He was right, you always were silent.

Peter: That's normal, you left her and never came to apologise.

James: Exactly Wormtail, That's normal that she doesn't feel the same way anymore.

Sirius: Well then go find out! Are you a Gryffindor or not?

James: No... She doesn't love me anymore. She probably hates me and I don't want to hear it from her.

Remus: Hates you? James, what is wrong with you?! we came here to finally tell you that the woman you love has not moved and you don't pull out the guts to see her.

James: Nothing's wrong, just leave it!

They all decided to leave him alone. For two more weeks, James didn't move much, debating on the fact that you weren't in love with him anymore. he also accepted that you were better off without him because the only thing he managed to do was hurt you, when he swore he wouldn't. While you waited, every hour, every second of everyday, you waited for him to go past the doorstep. But he didn't. you didn't lose, you always had his favourite tea at the ready and waited patiently, like Rapunzel in her tour. That went on like that, the guys telling him to go, James refusing, you wanting, until one day.

James missed you, the photos he had of you weren't enough, but he didn't have the courage to risk and stalk you from outside the orphanage. So, he called home. He did that three times, always hanging up when you responded. The sound of your voice made his heart thump hard in his chest. The fourth time, he called and after three rings, he heard your familiar voice.

"If you're calling for Amos, please be aware that I don't date him. If this is Tuesday night, I'm with the marauders. If you got something to sell, I'm not buying, tuff luck. Anyone else leave a message after the beep. Oh and PS: if this is James Potter, I still love you."

He dropped the phone, ending the call. He couldn't believe what he had heard. You still love him? how? His eyes squeeze sht. He sits on the floor and suddenly jumps up. You still love him, what was he doing here. In an instant, he was rolling donw the stairs. They all looked at him weirdly and were surprised when he disappeared.

He arrived at you house, it was night, and you were here. He banged on your door, he heard a familiar shuffling. You opened the door and air was taken out of his lungs. Still as beautiful as ever, you wore a surprised expression that soon changed into a loving smile.

Y/N: Hello, James.

James: You still love me?

You hummed in question; he repeated pointing toward the phone behind you. you chuckled and without turning back at him you said.

Y/N: Oh, so you heard it, I guessed the one calling was you. Well, yes I still love-

Next thing you knew, James' caught your lips, kissing you passionately.

The world started to spin around you, into this never-ending waltz of love. He was the sun; you were the moon. You were the snitch; he was the seeker. You were Y/N and James and nothing sounded more perfect. You passed you hand through his messy curls, memorising everything as if when the kiss ended, he would disappear.

You gasped for air, looked at each other's eyes. By now, you had spent years memorising every little detail on his face. It was almost like nothing happened, like he was only gone for grocery shopping. But no, he came back after two years. You saving children and him saving the world.

Y/N: Wow...

James: Couldn't say any better... I'm sorry. *tears up*

Y/N: Oh, James... I would have done the same.

You looked at him, and he leaned for yet another kiss. He flinched when he felt you flick his forehead.

James: Hey!

Y/N: That's for coming so late. And don't make that face! What are you going to do about it Pottah?

James: Oh, you're so on missy.

Y/N: Yeah, yeah, keep talking, I'm going inside, it's freezing. Be free to join me... but if you enter, be aware that you're never leaving.

James: I count just on that, I'll have time to think about a little revenge for that flick.

You were already inside, standing in the doorway, you turned and smiled.

Y/N: The rest of our lives.

He grinned just thinking about it, entering the house he planned on building a future with you in. he took you in his arms and rested his forehead on yours.

James: For the rest of our lives, and much, much after.

Thaaat's it. Hope you enjoyed, especially for two specific girls. See you next time, loves <3

XOXO

[malii-the-bonehead]

The Other Woman pt4

Slow burn

Summary: Chris, a popular hockey player at school where Y/n went, found himself falling for the beautiful, shy girl. As time went on he found out who Y/n truly was as a person and ultimately, he had to make the choice, his girlfriend, or the other woman.

Part 4

Chris ended up never texting me last night. He probably fell asleep. I don’t blame him. I wish I was sleeping early last night. I’m worried about whether he'll pass his calculus exam. He didn’t text this morning either.

I wasn’t worried. I mean we only texted once I’m not attached or anything. 

And not to mention how distracted I am with work. Maybe it is better that he didn't pull my focus away from the important things. 

“Good morning,” my mom stumbled into the kitchen

“Good morning mom,” I responded. She rubbed her eyes and sat at the island in our kitchen. “How’d you sleep?”

“Fine, I guess. I have a throbbing headache though,” She rubbed her temples with both hands, shutting her eyes and sighing. 

I walked over to the medicine cabinet and grabbed some advil. I filled a glass with some tap water and gave the pills and water to her. She mumbled a quiet “thank you” when she grabbed the water from my hand. I put the pills on the counter and grabbed my bag off the chair next to her.

“I’m about to leave for school. Do you need anything before I go?” 

She replied, “When you get out of school can you go to the store and buy me some new socks? I can’t seem to find any.”

“Yeah, mom I’ll get you some. But just so you know they have some clean socks in the basket on the dryer.” I kissed the top of her head, spinning around and heading towards the front door. 

“Thank you, Y/n. I love you, be safe.”

I looked back at her. “I love you too, mom.” 

I opened the front door, stepping outside into the cool air. 

–

I'm sitting in the parking lot, waiting for the first school bell to ring. I decided I’d smoke the rest of my joint before going into the building. It wasn’t much, just a little less than half. I’m not super lightweight with weed, thankfully. 

The clock on my car hit 6:50, meaning it was time to go inside before the late bell rings. I grabbed my stuff from the backseat and shut off my car, locking it and walking into the school building.

To be honest, I’ve been thinking about Chris most of the morning. I really hope he does well on his calculus test today.

Time for gym class. The most dreaded class of the day. But, at least I didn’t have to do it sober, right?

–

First and second hour seemed to pass by really quickly. It is now third hour and I’m sitting at my desk. I have so many butterflies in my stomach. I feel like I’m going to throw up, like something is going to happen. I don’t know why I feel like this. I might be hungry.. Or nervous. My high wore off midway through the second period meaning I was now sober again. A few people told me I needed perfume this morning. I hope I masked the smell well. I didn’t need anyone knowing I did such crazy activities in my down time. 

I looked up from my phone, seeing Chris walk in the room. His hair was a mess and his eyes looked droopy like he didn’t get enough sleep last night. He looked at me. I slightly smiled at him, pulling my headphones down to my shoulders. He trudged slowly over to my desk, rubbing his eyes with his fingers before blinking down at me. 

“Good morning, Christopher.” Something in my stomach just turned. I did feel nervous. But not just nervous, nervous to be around him. 

“Good morning,” he grunted out. He sat down on top of my desk, pushing his hair out of his eyes.

“Did you get to study for your calculus test?” I asked him cautiously. I didn’t know how tired Chris would react, if he would be cranky or calm. 

“I did. All night, actually. I was going to text you but I figured you’d be exhausted. You needed the rest.”

He cared about how much I rested? So he didn’t call me, not because he was asleep but because he didn’t want to bother me. 

“Oh, silly I didn’t mind. Honestly, I was worried about whether you had been able to study.” I picked at my thumb nail, feeling his gaze on me. “How did that go by the way?”

“I think I got it all crammed into my head. I don’t get most of it but I know the basics. I’m so tired though. I slept through first and second hour.” He let out a light chuckle. A chuckle that made my insides tingle. 

“I can tell, your hair is a mess.” I brought my hand up to his head, carefully fixing his hair. His face went bright pink and he looked away from me. 

“Yeah, it’s tough to sleep with your head on a desk.” If Chris wasn’t next to me I probably wouldn’t have heard him. 

“Trust me, I know. I used to sleep in my classes a lot last year.” He turned to look at me, his face back to its original color. He was really pretty in this lighting. Classroom lighting isn’t the best, but somehow he makes it work. 

“Y/n,” he looked at me with a puzzled expression. I looked up at him, nodding my head slightly. “Do you smell weed in here?”

I shut my eyes. Shit, it’s still lingering on my clothes.

I quickly opened my eyes and reached into my bag, grabbing perfume for the fourth time today. 

“Sorry.” I stated to no one in particular. I sprayed my jacket with the perfume before placing it back into my bag. 

He had slightly wide eyes when I looked back at him.

“You smoke?” Chris was now staring at me waiting for my answer. 

“Um, every now and then I do. Is that a problem?” It didn’t come out as rude or harsh but more like a genuine question. He quickly shook his head.

“No, not at all. I just- You don’t seem like the type, you know?” I giggled quietly.

“Thanks?” I replied. The bell rang as he opened his mouth to speak. A man walked into the class. A man who’s not our teacher. Chris looked dead into my eyes and mumbled a quiet, “I’ll see you in a few,” before getting up from the top of my desk and moving to his in the back. 

“As you can see, your teacher isn’t here today. I won't be a substitute. I have a paper I will put on this desk. You all need to come look at the room you need to go to for this class period. As far as I know, your teacher will be back on Monday. Don’t push, shove, or act like wild animals when you come up here to check the paper. When you find your name and room number, sign your initials and go to that class. You don’t go to your assigned class and you will be marked as skipped, everyone understands?” The teacher looked around the class, making sure everyone knew what he was explaining. He nodded his head to himself,  “Good, you may go check your rooms.”

I got up, slowly walking to the paper on the empty desk in the front of the class. I waited for a few people before grabbing the paper, finding my name and room number. 

“What room did you get?” I felt Chris’s presence was too close to me. I turned my head slightly to see him practically leaning over me. I felt my legs start to give out a little bit, but I stood strong.

“I have to go to room 962. Yours says 240. Do you want me to sign your name for you?” I looked back at him once again, showing him the paper.

“Yes, thank you. It sucks that we have to go across the school from each other. Would you mind if I walked you there?” My eyes opened slightly. I quickly shifted, turning to face him.

“No, you don’t have to do that. I have to walk up 2 flights of stairs. Don’t waste energy you don’t have, Chris.” He looked kind of sad when I said that. 

“Trust me, I’ll be fine. Just let me walk you this one time?” I sighed. The paper was now out of my hand and on the desk. Chris was bent over the desk, signing my initials first, then his own. I rolled my eyes, went back to my desk, and grabbed my things. Chris did the same thing before we both walked out of the double doors to exit the class. 

Walking seemed like it took forever. Those stairs killed me, and Chris hasn’t said much to me. We walked close, but not too close. When we arrived at my class, I thanked him for walking me.

“Thank you, Chris. I’m sorry you had to walk me all the way over here,”

“No, don’t worry, I don't mind. I guess I should start going back down, huh?” He chuckled a little, pulling his hair out of his eyes once again. Then, he suddenly had a look on his face like he was the smartest man in the world.  “Hey, why don’t you text me?”

I smiled up at him. “Sure, Chris, I’ll text you.”

He smiled back before slowly turning around and walking to his class, across the school. I blew the hair out of my face before walking into the classroom and finding an empty desk at the back. 

–

It’s been about 30 minutes since I’ve been in class with no one I know. I had put my music on and started reading before I remembered to text Chris. I pulled out my phone and put my book away on the desk in front of me.

Hey, Chris. I pressed send. Before I could even put my phone down, I felt it vibrate in my hand. I looked down at it, reading the new message that popped up on my phone. 

Hola Y/n. He waited a second before sending another text. Sorry, I’m in a Spanish class right now. I smiled down at my phone. 

You’re silly. I’m in an art class. I don’t know anyone here. I found myself waiting for his next response. I know he read it, read receipts were on. I saw the message bubble pop up. It was an image.

I know a few people here. Class is boring as hell though. I smiled again, pressing on the picture and finding Madi and his brother Matt in the picture as well as someone I didn’t recognize.

Lucky, I’m all by myself. But I don’t mind it. Now, I can read in peace:) He responded fast.

I like how you just read all the time. Not many people do. It’s cool. What are you reading by the way?

I looked at the book, now closed, on my desk. I took a picture and sent it to him. 

Is that the giant book you carry everywhere with you? I didn’t know you were into poetry. I felt heat rush to my face. He noticed the book because I carried it around. He looked at me enough to realize that it was in my hand all the time. The message bubble popped up again. I sat and waited for his text to be sent.  A thing of beauty is a joy forever. Its loveliness increases, it will never. Pass into nothingness, but still will keep. A bower quiet for us, and a sleep. I looked down at the poem he sent. A poem by John Keats from 1956. A poem I was fond of. How’d he know that?

Did you google that? He took a second to respond. 

No, it may not seem like it, but I actually enjoy poetry. Reading isn’t my thing but I have a soft spot for anything poetic. 

He’s poetic, I thought to myself. I shook my head to myself softly.

Yeah, I didn’t take you as the type to like that kind of stuff. But it’s really nice to know, Chris. He sent a smiley face. I placed my phone down, thinking the conversation was over. Then, I felt my phone vibrate again on the desk. I picked it up and read the message. 

So, are you free tonight? I shut my eyes. I was off work Fridays and Sundays. I typed a quick message.

Yes, why?

Wanna hang out? I could still use some help on my calculus even though my test is next hour. Just to prepare me for the next one, yk? I felt my stomach turn a little. 

Sure, Chris. That sounds perfect. And just to let you know, I don’t have work on Fridays and Sundays. Sundays I'm usually pretty busy though. I pressed send waiting, once again. 

Ok, good. What time do you think we should do this? And where? Depending if my mom was home and how clean the house was, then definitely not my house. I didn’t want him to see how we lived. I mean we have a decent house, but it for sure isn’t a big beautiful house. 

I sent him a response after pondering for a while. I have to run to the store after school so probably not until later in the day. 5 maybe? And you can pick the place to meet at.

I made sure to put meet at so he didn’t suggest mine, or his house. 

5 is good. And how about we meet at the cafe near the library. That was a perfect answer, Chris. I needed a new book anyways so after I help him, I can go get the few books I need. 

Perfect. I’ll see you there. Or do you want me to pick you up? 

No no don't worry about that. I’ll get Matt to bring me. 

Chris and I sent a few texts back and forth. The bell rang, signaling the 4th hour was about to start. I sent him a quick, good luck on your calculus test, Chris. Just do your best and don’t stress over it. I picked up my things and made my way to my next class.

[rimunagenius]

Lucky

Pairing: Will ‘Ironhead’ Miller x F!reader , Benny Miller x Frankie Morales x Santiago Garcia x F!reader

Warning: angst! , mentions of divorce (reader and ex husband (Garrett) yes i did this on purpose) , foul language (like very derogatory terms used against reader) , and overload of Will x reader fluff!

Word count: 4.1k words!!

Summary: You found out your husband cheated, abandoned you and your guys’ baby for your bestfriend. Your best boys are their to comfort you through the nasty breakup.

Note: I absolutely loved the idea of the reader having a baby and being a single mom (mainly bc i’m not a fan of together parents [based from my experience]) because i would be able give most of the men in the movie a good ending they didn’t get other than Frankie. Frankie got his baby and the others just exist and the ending leaves very little to the imagination so i like the found family dynamic (BUT THIS IS STILL BEFORE THE EVENTS THAT OCCURED IN COLOMBIA). I also really want to explore the reader and Wills relationship further maybe? Idk lmk what you guys think.

***

Numb.

That’s how you would describe the pain you felt—couldn’t feel, as you lie on the floor of your bathroom. Your chest felt like a ton of bricks had been piled on, one after another and the weight was ruthless as you tried to intake a breath.

You didn’t know what you did, why it happened, or what went wrong that caused the feelings to change. Why her? What did she have that you didn’t?

You ran through every scenario in your head, replaying every moment and words exchanged with him. What made him so unhappy in this relationship. You had a baby with him for god sakes. It didn’t change the fact that he left both of you. You and Tatum. Your 7 month old baby.

You don’t know when you ended up on the floor, when you decided that it was all too much that you took solace in the one area you haven’t cleaned in 2 weeks. It was gross. You were gross—felt gross. You couldn’t remember anything that happened in the last 72 hours other than getting up to feed your baby and go to the bathroom on a continuous cycle. You had ignored everyone’s calls. Either sending them straight to voicemail or just listening to the phone ring.

Frankie called and asked why you, your husband—soon to be ex husband, and Tatum missed the cookout Friday night. Benny calling because you missed his fight, the one you promised you’d make this time, the one they had the celebratory cookout for. Santi had the same reason as Frankie. Everyone was worried sick. You haven’t responded to any text and calls and that was unlikely behavior on your part.

Will didn’t know what to do. He had called and texted, a numerous amount of times. He even showed up to your house, knocking and waiting by the door for almost an hour when the guys called him and said you hadn’t responded to them either.

Will was your best friend. You’ve known him just as long as Benny. The Millers being your bestfriends since you were kids. They introduced you to their friends once they all decided to leave the Army. You soon became apart of their found family.

But Will, your the closest to. You were the same age, leaving an age gap to the youngest Miller, that’s why you got along and closer to Will; but you didn’t love and adore Benny any less. As all the guys’ failed attempts at trying to figure out what was going on, you just repeated the same endless cycle.

Get up. Feed the baby. Change the baby. Bathe the baby. Go to the bathroom. Put baby to sleep. Wallow in self pitty. Go to sleep. Get up. Feed the baby. Change the baby. Bathe the baby. Go to the bathroom. Put baby to sleep. Wallow in self pitty. Go to sleep. All day for the last three days.

So you lay there, on the bathroom floor, Tatum asleep in her bouncer right next to you. You brought her in here when you had to leave the room to vomit as you couldn’t handle being you. You being so sick of yourself since it was was easy for him, your husband of 4 years, boyfriend of 6, to leave—cheat on you like all those memories, the baby you both made together, was nothing.

You decided to jump in the shower, not having showered in days. The warm water felt good on your skin, refreshing. All you could do was stand there. Enjoy the water washing away the sweat, tears, touch of everything you’ve experienced in the last 2 weeks. Washing away his touch. The lingering cheek kiss, side waist hug as he was leaving for ‘lunch with his boss’ so they could ‘talk about a promotion.’

You bet sex with Samantha, talking about him leaving to move in and to continue having a relationship while breaking the heart of the one they both were supposed to love most was fan-fucking-tastic.

As you finished washing your hair and body, even shaving your legs because you needed to feel clean, new, Tatum cried. Hopping out you wrapped your towel around yourself and bent down to place her pacifier back in her mouth. Her cries dying slowly and her eyes lulled to a close again.

Picking up the bouncer you walked back to your room, and put on your sleep shorts and oversized T shirt and took Tatum to the living room. Setting her in her bassinet that you bought last week for the living room, you grabbed the throw blanket that was on the couch and cover your legs as the TV played ‘Love Island’.

Wow, great choice for a time like this. God really loves me today, doesn’t he? You couldn’t help but let the tears that were in a relentless battle with your self control, roll down your face. It was just so hard to let go of all the memories. The years that you spent loving the man that you thought was the love of your life, but ended up being the love of your ex bestfriends’.

Brushing your hair behind your ears, a knock at your door interrupted your tears. Sighing, grateful you had closed the blinds and your car had been parked in the garage, so it wasn’t noticeable that you were home, you sat and waiting for whoever thought you were home, would give up and go home. You should’ve known better.

After ten minutes, the knocking continued and you growing annoyed, got up to answer. Your wet hair, dampening your shirt as you totally disregarded putting it up. “What the fuck, man.” You said as you approached the door, hoping whoever was there, heard.

You have a shocked look across your face as you find Frankie standing at your door, flowers and chocolates in hand. You sigh, a sad smile reaching your lips as you reach up to hug your best friend. “Hi, Frankie.” Tears fell down your face and Frankie was already worried but seeing the disheveled look you had and the sadness in your usually happy-lit eyes, his smile and emotions dropped. Seeing you sad made him sad.

He hugged you back, tighter and just held you. Didn’t ask any questions. As you let go you took the flowers and allowed him inside, but as you were shutting the door, three more people came barreling towards you.

“Wait, we’re here too.” Benny.

“Wait don’t close it, cariño.” Santi.

“We came too.” Will.

You fought the tears as you tried to smile as your boys flowed through the door as you let them. “Just be quiet, Tatum hasn’t been sleeping well.” As if on cue, Tatum started crying. That’s when you snapped. All the small tears and sniffles turned into loud sobs as the cycle began all over again.

You shut and locked the door before pushing past the guys, who all watched you in sadness as you couldn’t stop sobbing as you picked up your daughter and just held her as you wished she would just stay asleep. “Lemme take her from you. Uncle Benny has missed his partner in crime.” Benny walked over, taking off his hat and setting it on the coffee table, and swooped Tatum out of your arms.

You sighed as you sat on the couch and rested your head in your hands. It was so overwhelming, all of it.

“What happened, cariño.” Santi asked as he sat in the love seat in your living room. His question only prompted more tears and cries. You couldn’t hold it in anymore. You spent the last three days numb because you had to be strong for Tatum. You couldn’t let yourself spiral. Now that the guys were here, you couldn’t help it.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay, sweetheart. Just breathe.” Will kneeled infront of you, removing your hands from your face, replacing one with a hand of his own against one of your cheeks.

“He left.” Was all you could say. Croak, actually. You couldn’t speak as more sobs threatened to tear from your throat.

“Who? Garret?” Frankie asked, already having a strong idea as to what went down. He never liked Garret, never trusted him either. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t already mad.

“Yeah. He went out for lunch ‘with his boss to talk about some promotion at the firm’, but he actually met up with Samantha.” You wiped the tears from your eyes. Meaning to put air quotes around the words, confirming Frankie’s suspicions. You sniffled, grimacing at the sound as you were super congested from the crying you’ve been doing for the last 72 hours. It was fucken awful.

“That fucken bastard.” Benny and Santiago said together.

“He was a piece of shit, anyways.” Will mumbled as he pulled your head into his shoulder as he hugged you, remaining on his knees infront of you.

“I never liked him. Just thought i’d say that up front right now.” Frankie raised his hand.

“He didn’t even come back. He hasn’t come back and I sure as hell hope he doesn’t for the sake of him wanting to keep his manhood.” You sighed into Wills shoulder, eliciting a chuckled from the guys, including you. Surprisingly. “I found out by Samanthas roommate Nina, who by the way knew they had been fucking for 2 months now. She only told me because her and Sam got into an argument about the rent like a week ago. Samantha has been texting me non-stop about how sorry she is but he hasn’t messaged me once.” You pulled away from Will and looked at all the guys in the room. You were so grateful for these men. Your safe place, your support system, your home when yours didn’t feel like it anymore.

“Good. Cause if he calls, he’s not gonna hear the end of it from the Millers, and won’t be able to cheat on anyone when me and Frankie are done with him. Shit, he won’t be alive once the Millers jump in.” Santiago said as he turned his attention to the TV, noticing the Love Island playing. Turning the TV off immediately, not thinking it suit the moment.

You smiled softly, your sad smile returning as you wiped the stray tears. “Hi, baby! How’s my favorite niece!” You heard Benny as he was suddenly made aware of Tatums awake state as she grabbed at his stubble. She loved touching all the guys facial hair. You never understood it but whenever one of them was holding her, her hand was always on their face.

“Hey, dickhead! She’s not the only niece you have.” Frankie reminded Benny of his own kid, earning a groan from Benny.

“Dude she’s not even born yet. When she is, they’ll both be my favorite princesses in the world. Fun Uncle Benny is gonna be their favorite.”

Frankie nodded his head, rolling his eyes at Benny’s save. The room went silent as your phone rang, and the picture and called ID was on display to everyone.

“Fuck no.” Benny immediately said. “Shit! Aw damn! Jeez, sorry.” He immediately apologized for his language. Aware how you felt about the guys cursing around Tatum.

“Don’t answer it.” Will said, as you picked up your phone. All the guys protested but you didn’t care. You answered.

“What?” Your sadness immediately being replaced by anger and betrayal as he just now decided to call.

“What the fuck is your problem!? Your ignoring Sammy? She didn’t do anything to you.” Garret yelled over the phone at you.

What a fucken idiot.

“Im sorry, WHAT!? Your going to call me to bitch and moan about how im ignoring the woman you cheated on me with!? Your unbelievable.” You got up, all the men stood up with you.

“Im unbelievable!? Your just a self centered bitch who didn’t see that I was unhappy in our marriage! Jesus Christ! You were so fucking boring,” Garret said your name with such distaste and anger. It shocked you. Suddenly you didn’t feel mad, you felt sad and worthless again. The boys didn’t waste no time in jumping in.

“Hey, man. Watch your damn mouth.” Will said from next to you. The calmness in his voice was scary. It always was. The way he stayed calm during duress situations was scarier than him yelling.

“Mhnmhn.” Frankie shook his head from where he was standing.

“Earmuffs Tatum. Im gonna fucking kill him.” Benny whispered looking up. No matter how little Benny was, growing up, he protected you—tried to, whenever someone gave you a hard time. He’s done it all his life, and this time was no different. Even with your daughter in his arms.

“Dear god.” Santi rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“Oh, what? You have your little bitch dogs with you. I bet your banging all of them, you fucken slut. You always had the hots for Will. Your a whore. This is why I cheated in the first place.” Garret yelled through the phone, Samantha being heard laughing in the back.

“Get your head out of your ass and put your bitch in check. They’re here because they’re helping me take care of your daughter. You know, the one you decided to abandon the minute you fucked another woman?” You cried into the phone. You couldn’t even be angry. All you felt was sadness. Everything hurt. It hurt to cry, to speak, to breathe.

“Look, im sorry. You gotta understand that I wasn’t happy anymore. I’m sorry, baby.”

“You do not get to ‘baby’ me. Your a sad excuse for a man Garret. Jesus.” You decided you didn’t want to just rip at him, you needed to get a rip at Sammy. “Sammy, don’t be sad when you wake up one day when you don’t see Garret in bed with you. He’ll probably get bored of you too, and fuck your roommate. Hell, he’ll fuck the whole complex.” You heard a distant ‘Fuck you’ before you let more tears fall.

“Baby, im sorry.”

“Garret, stop calling me that. We’re done. You don’t get to be nice and ‘baby’ your way out of this. You just finished calling me a slut and a whore!”

“But you get to invite all your men over!? How could you do that to me?”

“How could you cheat on me with my bestfriend!?” You choked back a sob, Will wrapping his arms around your neck from behind, kissing the top of your head.

Garret said your name, just above a whisper. “I never meant to hurt you.”

Your voice soft, tired, of speaking when all you want to do is cry. You did just that, cry as you got your final words out. “It doesn’t really matter, Garret. Cause in the end it all hurts the same. I’m done. I’m done with you, your little whore and your not coming back home. Expect divorce papers at the door of your house—oh, im sorry, your mistress’ house, in two weeks. Fuck you, man!”

“Can I atleast get my-“ You didn’t give him to finish his sentence as you hung up, unleashing all your pent up rage, sadness and overall overexertion. You turned your body into Wills, allowing him to hug you as you cry into his favorite hoodie. He doesn’t even care that his forearms of his sleeves are getting damp from your still undried hair, and his chest growin damp from your tears.

Benny, Frankie, and Santiago all joined in on the hug as you just cried. They knew there was nothing they could say or do but just hold you while you let it all out.

These were your guys, and nothing would change the way you would always be grateful to them.

Your boys, your safe place, your support system, your home when yours didn’t feel like home anymore.

***

Will had made dinner for all you guys. You all sat at the table and ate together, Benny not letting go of Tatum once. She already had her uncle wrapped around her finger.

For the most part you guys ate quietly, and just talked about what you missed the last three days before apologizing that you had missed it all. None of them held it against you, understandably so. They talked about their work and what they’ve been up to and what they have going on, not touching on your situation any longer than they had to. You didn’t want ‘im sorry’s you just wanted to hang out with your friends. You didn’t want to feel sad anymore.

Not long after you all ate, you went and laid on the couch in bewteeen Will and Benny. You were leaning on Benny, curled into his side while Frankie sat on the other side of him and Will by your feet. You don’t remember much of what you were watching as you were in and out of sleep. Sleep that you haven’t been able to properly get as it was just you and Tatum. An insomniac baby is bound to catch up to you later. All you knew you had put on your favorite rom com but just didn’t remember exactly what part you were watching.

It wasn’t long before the built, muscled, and toned side of Bennys frame, turned into the soft cuddly teddy bear that was his personality. Long before you could fight the sleep until the guys left, your eyes closed and you fell asleep.

You had convinced the guys to watch your favorite rom-com. It only took you begging them quietly as Tatum fell asleep after you fed her, not wanting to wake her, and dropping the ‘hey, I just asked for a divorce against my cheating husband’ card and it was hard for them to say no to you.

Benny and Will knew that you falling asleep to this movie wasn’t uncommon. You did when it first came out when you were in middle school. The movies nights they let you pick and you’d pick this movie falling asleep around the same time, everytime. How to lose a guy in 10 days just gave you the comfort you needed whenever you felt sad or whenever you just felt like falling hopelessly inlove with the perfect love story.

“Never fails.” Benny chuckled softly, noticing your soft snores into his side.

All the guys looked over to see you knocked out, curled into a tiny ball, wrapped in the small throw blanket. This was a calming and reassuring view for all of them. They’ve never seen you like this before. Sure they have been there ever since they met you and all the old boyfriends who didn’t deserve you, but the way you were today. Sad, betrayed, and angry…was something they hope to never see again.

They love the happy you. The you that jumped up and down whenever you met them at the terminal when they were back on leave. The you that laughed at the most unfunniest jokes because everyone deserves to feel special. The you that your smile brightens up the whole damn room and any of their bad days.

They saw you finally at peace, the most peaceful you of the day. Getting the rest you deserved they all felt successful in their efforts to cheer you up any way they could.

Frankie was the first to get up, putting his hat on. “I gotta head out, my girl is waiting for me.” He hugged all his friends goodnight, stopping at you to give you a kiss on our head. Santiago got up, being that Frankie was his ride. Santiago did the same.

Benny was harder to get up. He didn’t want to disturb the little sleep you have been able to get in the last couple of days, but again, Frankie was his ride. He grabbed a throw pillow next to him, and swiftly and stealthly switched it under your head. Your soft stirring causing all the men to stop breathing and moving, not wanting to disturb you.

Once the coast was clear Benny said bye to his brother and kissed your head softly. He walked over to Tatum and kissed her soft brown hair, covering her better with her blanket.

Will decided to stay the night with you. You had agreed when you sat down to pick the movie while the other guys cleaned up the kitchen after dinner. He offered to help you with his goddaughter so you can get whatever you needed done, out of the way. You appreciated the offer and agreed with open arms to let him stay. Him saying he’ll figure the ride out tomorrow, or whenever you didn’t need his help anymore.

The guys exited the front door, the sound of the truck starting soon disappearing as they pulled out and drove away.

No matter how much Will denied it to everyone, he was a sucker for the cheesy romance movies. He wouldn’t admit it, especially to you. These were your favorite and it was his duty as your bestfriend to deny he likes whatever you like. ‘It’s because im a boy’ he always told you. You thought he was so full of shit. He sat there for twenty minutes watching the movie he’s seen over a thousand times in his lifetime. It seemed to be working whatever magic it had on you and made him so tired. You guys both seemed to swap your liveliness.

Your sleepy state didn’t last long as you opened your eyes and let them wander around the room, as much as you could see, to find the house empty but Will and Tatum.

You sat up, and yawned. “How long was I asleep for?” You look at Will, hopeful that it was enough.

“Like, thirty minutes.” He rubbed his eyes as he yawned. His yawn being a little too loud as it woke Tatum.

You were moving the blanket off of you, getting up to get your daughter when Will beat you to it. “I got her. Sit back down, sweetheart.” You nodded softly your eyes still heavy from being tired.

“When did the guys leave?” You frowned having missed them on their way out. You didn’t say thank you.

“Like twenty minutes ago,” Hey, babygirl. C’mon. I got you.” Will bent over the bassinet, looking at Tatum. He cradled her in his arms. He watched as Tatums cries soon turned into whimpers which then turned into soft cooing. He smiled at her before another yawn escaped his lips.

The movie was still playing quietly, the end almost nearing. The soft background noise pulling you into your sleepy state yet again. You closed your eyes, shoving your arms and legs under the blanket forming a small ball again. The couch dipped next to you as Will filled the space, holding your baby girl.

You didn’t think twice before moving your body the other direction, to face Will before moving closer to his side. He knew what you wanted and he lifted his arm so you can get comfortable against him.

He threw his head back, finally closing his eyes as one arm held Tatum and the other held you against his chest. You couldn’t have been more grateful for this man. You loved him with every bone in your body. You were so glad that you were able to call him your bestfriend. You can count on him when the world let you down again and again.

You looked up at him, touching the side of his face. On contact, he moved his head in your direction, smiling softly as he was met with your eyes, full of happiness again. “Will?”

“Yeah, baby?” Your breath hitched at the nickname he hasn’t used for you in years. Atleast before you met Garrett. You hoped it wasn’t noticeable. Will picked up on everything, very observant, damn you Army.

“Thank you. Your too good to us.” You whispered, looking away from his face, nestling into the crook of his neck as you watched your daughter peacefully sleep in your bestfriends arms.

“Anytime, sweetheart. Anything for my two favorite girls.” He kissed your head, resting his head back on the couch, a small smile on his face as he closed his eyes.

“I love you.” You whispered, closing your eyes too.

“I love you.”

All you could think about was how lucky you and Tatum had been to have a man like this in your life. A man who will move heaven and earth if you asked. How lucky you were to have men as good friends as the guys were to you. You couldn’t ask for a better family to help you raise your baby.

You and Tatum were so lucky.

You were both happy.

***

A/n: I would absolutely love to turn Tatum and the guys relationship into a full series of one-shots. Like little moments as she grows up. I want to create a father-daughter dynamic with Tatum and Will because like i said i want to explore Will x F!reader more!! Maybe along the lines of them growing closer as Tatum grows up because as they figure the whole parenting thing out together, they also find themselves and figure out their relationship as well.

Let me know what you think!!! It would be greatly appreciated!!

[meteorshcts]

plotted starter for @churchflower & @sentmail

It wasn't easy to get into Midgar, especially when you were half starved, sporting a few bullet wounds, and dragging your semi-conscious, mako addicted best friend with you. But with such a big city, there were always people entering and exiting, in ways that were legal and not so legal. It was just a matter of slipping through the cracks.

Zack chose the sewers to wade through, even though it was a terrible idea in the condition he was in. He had tied off all his wounds with the last of the bandages he had stolen somewhere around Junon when they had passed through, but the less than clean environment was certain to be a detriment to his health. Not to mention Cloud's health – the poor kid was barely a slip of a thing to start with, and now he was all skin and bones. This couldn't be good for either of them.

But it allowed him to slip unnoticed into the city. He'd need new boots after this, and maybe new pants. But for now, the smell of sewer clinging to him just made strangers steer their way around him. No one questioned why he was dragging his companion; it was late enough at night that he just pretended they were drunk, and no one said a word.

They made their way through Sector 4's residential area, and then into Sector 5. Zack was bristling with excitement. He hadn't seen Aerith in, what, five years now? The excitement was immediately tinged with nervousness. It had been a long time. Would she even still remember him? Not to mention, he was here to ask for a pretty big favor.

Aerith had always been something of a healer, Zack knew, and he had hoped she'd be able to do something to help Cloud. It was a big ask, especially for a guy who had disappeared for five years.

But he didn't have much of a choice. He didn't have a lot of allies, and all of them that he had were in Midgar. Kunsel had never given up on him, but Zack had seen the danger in contacting him or anyone else in Shinra. Where else could he even go from here?

It was early morning already, the sun just beginning to peak over the edges of the city, when the old church finally came into view. It looked exactly like he remembered it, patched roof and sagging door frame and all. It was such a feeling of relief to find that something had stayed the same that he could have wept. Aerith wouldn't be there this early, but neither would anyone else, probably.

“You see that, Cloud? This here's Sector 5, my old stomping grounds,” he commented, unable to keep the grin off his face.

His arm was numb from dragging Cloud along with him, and his senses were dulled with lack of sleep. But they would be able to rest soon. First they would nap in the relative safety of the church, then they would see Aerith, and Zack would buy them all breakfast with the last of the gil he had earned in the farms outside Junon, working as a farmhand.

The doors opened with a shove, a little harder to shove than they had been before – maybe he could oil the hinges to help out Aerith tomorrow – and the air smelled of the lilies that grew within. It was such a sweet, nostalgic scent that again Zack found tears in his eyes threatening, but he just swallowed them back and glanced around.

Everything looked the same. There were more lilies growing, he thought, and the pews had been pushed back a little bit. The sun was beginning to peak in through the roof, although the patch of light that reached within hadn't hit the flowers yet. The only thing missing, of course, was the pretty gardener who tended the flowers.

“Here we are, Cloud. We can take it easy here for a few hours before Aerith gets here, okay? I don't know about you, but I could sure use a nap!” Zack said cheerfully, dragging Cloud up through the center of the church.

Cloud, of course, didn't reply further than a quiet moan. The noises were new, and, Zack thought, probably a good sign.

He arranged Cloud on the floor near the first pew in the church, and then he lay down next to him, sword easily within reach, just in case it wasn't Aerith who came through that door first. He was fairly certain they hadn't been seen or followed, but you could never be sure.

He tucked his hands behind his head and couldn't contain his smile as he closed his eyes and thought of all the things he was going to say to Aerith.

[blingblong55]

Fire Away -141+Ale+Rudy

This was based on a request.

Gn!Reader, Platonic!relationship

It had been 4 days since you last slept. Trauma, stress, work, and life had finally caught up to you. You always kept the traumatic scenes tucked in the back of your head. Stress was common in your line of work, but this time it was all different. Your life, that you paused to serve your country for finally brought its worries to you. It all started 96 hours ago, when Price had let you know that an old colleague of yours, who you served knew since the naval academy had passed away.

You two saw things no one should see, 13 confirmed kills, 34 injured, that was the number of people that held on to your already long chains of regret. "think we'll make it to Switzerland?" a place you both wanted to live in, a farm, and a place far away from the horrors of the world. "maybe." you said as the night fell.

Ever since the news you kept yourself occupied. Paperwork, work out, eat, work out, paperwork and then pretend to sleep.

Your body gave up, but you pushed the limits. When price invited you to the weekly sparring event, you knew best and said yes. You never missed it. And sure as hell needed to prove you were still fine.

Soap was against Alejandro, when you were next price was still picking your opponent. You went up to the mat, your head aching more than before. Your eyes couldn't focus on the figure in front of you. This was it, you thought. Soon dizziness arrived. You played it cool. Until you collapsed on the floor.

Price:

The minute he saw the signs he knew what was wrong. He had done the same thing when he was younger, still does.

He knew that taking you to the infirmary wasn't going to do much. So he took you back to your room.

You soon were placed in bed, he told the rest to leave you two alone.

He placed you in his arms, and he laid there, waiting for you to say something.

"I can't sleep,,and I'm not sure I feel bad about it.." You soon broke in tears.

He hummed a lullaby for you. "it'll all be over soon"

Reassured you, it was time to let go of all worries.

He'd trace your face with his finger, so slow that it was soon making your close your eyes.

He kept humming, rocking you both, back and forth, so slow, so comfortable. So secure.

Soon you closed your eyes, your body warm, your mind free of crime.

So safe, so calm, it's so him.

It's us, you thought.

Alejandro:

He ran to you, not letting anyone go near you.

Carried you to bed, he understood how difficult news like that were. So as he laid you in bed, he stayed.

cradled you in his arms. "tienes que descansar mi amor" he softly uttered.

"I don't want to." Your hands placed on his chest. "qué sucedió?"

For hours you talked, he listened, at times he would comment, but only when it was appropriate.

When you finished talking he started to caress all of you.

His hands traveled to from your face then found its way on to your back, where he drew circles.

"Desde el cielo todo es más bonito, Déjame llevarte a las estrellas, otra vez, Como la noche de ayer" his voice low as he sang.

He looked down at you, what a site, he thought.

Kissed your forehead multiple times.

Covered you in his blanket, never moved, he knew you comfortable and thats all that mattered.

It was heaven.

It was a place of safety, a place where you were free.

In a land of cold nights, he was your blanket.

Gaz:

It scared him how you collapsed. He hadn't talked to you ever since the news, mainly because he wanted to give you space.

He saw how pale your skin looked, how dark the eyeballs under your eyes were.

He carried you to your room, didn't let anyone else carry you.

When you eventually told him why you weren't sleeping he listened. And although at first he didn't understand most stories, he let you know he was all ears.

"I'm here, for anything, I won't ever find you less of a human because anything you did to survive."

You cried and stared at the ceiling, he would just rub your back.

Once he knew you were ready to sleep, he laid down with you. Just you and me, he assured you.

He cuddled you. Turned on the telly and put on the history channel, you had mentioned it always made you sleepy.

And as your eyes became heavy, his hold on you became softer. He placed his legs over yours, one arm wrapped around your waist.

"You sleep and I'll be here love. I won't go away."

His free hand tracing you lashes and eyebrows. So slow, so innocent. He starred at you, and promised to always be your shoulder to cry on.

So delicate and pure.

So beautiful.

Soap:

He was definitely scared. Not once did it ever occur you were torturing yourself like this.

His arms wrapped around your body, hiding your weak self under him, he knew you hated when others saw this side of you.

When you reached his room, which was closer, you asked him "please don't hate me" to which he responded, "how can I hate you, when I adore everything about you."

He like Gaz listened and tried to understand all of it.

when he heard your soft sniffles he hugged you so tight. Then he kissed the top of your forehead. "you need sleep" "I know, I'm just scared of closing my eyes"

He laid there, for hours. And when he noticed how you were drifting to sleep, he started to massage your head.

He pulled you close to his chest. Let you wrap your arms around him. "don't let go" your voice vibrated against his chest.

"Never" he answered.

You drifted to sleep, feeling safe in his arms.

Heaven on earth while on his arms.

A safe place, he was your Switzerland.

Rudy:

When I tell you he ran to you, he RAN.

Alejandro was trying to take care of the situation, but Rudy was thinking with his heart. He knew what was wrong, from the start.

So, he took all of the precautions and took you to his room, he had water, food, and his pillow and blankets ready.

You hesitated and just stood up, but he quickly stood by your side, his hand on your back.

"tienes que descansar" his eyes never leaving yours, always looking for an answer, for something that can be his leverage. "I'm not tired Rudy." your soft voice, breaking his heart.

"Entonces háblame, que pasó?" "nada" but he knew you better than he knew himself, "I'm all ears." his smile never leaving his lips, it was his comforting smile. The same one he gave you every time you felt upset.

"Nothing can hurt you, not while we are here, together."

he was like an angel, your angel.

Your silence spoke more than words as your tears fell from your eyes.

He took you back to bed and cuddled with you. Your cry soon left, and was slowly being replaced by soft snores.

He was your favorite form of life, your sun, the moon than shined bright on your dark nights.

He was the cardigan and you the cold skin.

Ghost:

this man knew exactly what was wrong, he didn't judge you of course, and when he saw you collapse to the floor, he rushed to your side.

Others panicked, and he did too, for the first time in a long time, he panicked. He not once left your side.

Your room was his first choice, but since it was the one place you stopped feeling comfortable enough to sleep at, he walked to his room.

There you stood while he grabbed his most comfortable clothes for you, he was panicking afraid he might not find something good enough.

"Simon?" you made him stop, he quickly turned to you. "yes?" he shied his nervousness away. "Lay down for me yeah?" You obeyed, but as he finally found some clothes, your silent cry made him walk to you. "What happened to your friend isn't on you." he sat next to you, placing you head on his thighs. "But what if he died because of all we did?" your voice shaking, his heart aching.

"You were a soldier then, today you are a human," he tried finishing his words, but he rather not.

he tried telling his corny jokes, some were so bad it made you laugh.

As the fuzzy feeling in your chest left, the soothing words that left his lips slowly made you yawn. "Thank you Simon."

"And I will steady your hand, When you're losing your grip, And even if I don't understand, You can talk to me, Fire away, Fire away, Fire away" his humus and soft voice put you to sleep,

"see you in the mornin', r/n" he kissed your forehead.

An ocean breeze, a warm hug on the cold spring nights. He was the the man that scared your other feelings away.

For better or worst, he was your Ghost, the best of any out there.

Tags: @anonymuslydumb

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!

[ranchracoon]

Ch. 4 Visitors

Exhaustion finally put you into a deep cold until something cold and hard hit you; you shot out of bed with your hands on your head as you yowled in pain. When you opened your eyes, Angie stood there with her fists on her hips and a scowl that would make the paint peel off in fright. You glanced over to your door to find that she had scooted the desk enough for her to slip through, and somehow you didn't wake to it. Her presence for once towered over you, and you slinked into the bed while pulling up the covers in an attempt to hide yourself. She yanked them off then smacked you again in the thigh with a large, metal, soup spoon. You yelped loudly and placed one hand over the red welt now appearing on your thigh.

"It's nearly 10 o' clock! Get up you lazy sack of potatoes. What are you still doing in bed? Why do you have your desk behind the door? Trying to get out of chores eh?" Her screechy voice hurt your head more.

"I didn't sleep well last night, I thought I heard something out in the hall and I panicked." You lied.

"I don't care. Get up! We have a lot of work to do." She ordered.

"Don't we always?" You remarked.

She had started to hobble away when she shot you a deathly look, "Lady Dimitrescu and her daughters are arriving today. They'll be here in a few hours! Now get up before I hit you again."

When Angie slithered out of the room, and you sighed in relief that she didn't know about last night; or she did and was waiting to kill you after you helped.  After you changed as fast as you could, you pushed the desk back to its original spot then freshened up in the bathroom. The cold tap water startled you awake enough to put on your game face and act like nothing happened. Downstairs Angie was furiously sweeping the main entrance, it was always clean from lack of use but you decided to not push your luck today. Instead of asking, you went straight for the supply closet, grabbed the mop, and followed over where Angie swept with it. The two of you worked in silence, aside from the occasional grunt or hacking cough from the old woman. Every so often you would glance up at her to read her expression for any sign of knowledge to last night, but per usual she was unreadable.

That didn't shake the feeling of uneasiness, not the same kind that you felt before with Salvatore, but anxious none-the-less. You told yourself it was only your paranoia. If you were going to get in trouble, surely something would have happened by now. The familiar ding of the workshop echoed into the hallway, Angie and you both looked up simultaneously in confusion; it wasn't time for lunch yet, and you presumed that Angie already served them breakfast. You hid the gulp that you wanted to take, maybe they were calling you. You started to put down the mop but Angie halted you and went instead, now your heart started to race again: this was it. She would find out about last night and you would be served up in her mysterious stew.

You quickly finished your mop job then returned it to the supply closet just as the elevator clanked to a stop on the top floor. You ran to the door and fiddled with your fingers nervously, it was better if you went out quickly rather than making her find you to drag it out. Angie waddled out with a parcel in her arms, she raised an eyebrow at you then continued to walk past in silence. Your brow furrowed but you followed her and watched as she set the parcel down on the coffee table then proceeded to motion for you to follow. She stopped at the elevator again and turned to you.

"They'll be here any minute now. I need you to go down and prepare tea, some food, and also serve the lord some lunch. I will finish up here."

Her voice was suspiciously calm, you narrowed your eyes but did as you were told. The anxiety in your chest roared with life, your heart beat fast enough it vibrated your chest, and everything felt tight on you. At least you would be doing something that always calmed you down and made you feel comfortable. In the kitchen you sported your usual apron over your clothes, rolled up your sleeves, and got to work.

You concentrated solely on the task at hand, hardly paying attention to your surroundings. Today you'll make whatever tea you found in the cabinet, the label too faded to read, and sandwiches. Simple. Easy.  The distraction of your mind being occupied dissipated when the hairs on the back of your neck stood up. You hovered over the cutting board as still as a statue. Footsteps.

A lump formed in your throat as every possible scenario played in your mind, many of them ended with you dead but it was all a matter of how much fight you put up. Your knuckles turned white and the knife shook from how tightly you gripped it for dear life. The footsteps stopped just outside the kitchen, and you felt eyes burning into you; your heartbeat drowned out any other noise in your ears as a droplet of sweat formed on your forehead. You took a deep breath, these footsteps were light, and had you not been in the middle of transitioning you might not have heard them at all. Angie's were loud, and her voice would have given her away far before her steps ever could.

"I'm sorry for spying. It's just...I haven't heard music that beautiful in a very long time....my mother used to play before she passed. It won't happen again. I'm sorry."

There was silence, you waited for anything: a breath, a voice, steps, something. The kettle for the tea hissed and screamed, it startled you and the knife in your hand dropped onto the cutting board with a clank. You grabbed the kettle off the stove and faintly heard the same footsteps leave, slowly you turned around to the open archway that led to the hallway. Before you could think about it further the bell to the front door rang. Quickly you gathered the lord's lunch and steadily walked to their door then placed it in front of it. You hesitated for a moment, listening, but nothing could be heard so you sighed to yourself and returned to prepping the tea and finger foods. That was by far the oddest encounter you've had thus far.

The tray was heavy with the water from the kettle, it took every bit of muscle to balance while you bumped the elevator door button then waddled inside. Now came the tricky part, hitting the doors open. You balanced carefully when the elevator stopped abruptly then looked around before deciding to kick the side panel with your less-strong foot. The doors clanged and jolted open, you scurried out to the main room to set the tray next to the parcel on the coffee table. Your eyes wandered up to the four women that entered, the three you recognized from when you and Angie went into town; the fourth woman you didn't recognize but it took all your willpower not to drop your jaw. Your eyes widened a little when, whom you presumed was their mother, elegantly strolled into the manor: this proved it, there was something in the water in this village that made every woman gorgeous and tall. You peeked at Angie as thoughts crossed your mind about what she might have looked liked younger, but it was hard to imagine her as anything other than old and hunched over. Instead, you focused on the goddess in front of you and her equally regal looking daughters.

The mother delicately removed her black, wide brimmed hat that exposed perfect black curls underneath. She hung the hat on a coat hanger next to the door, then turned for one of her daughters to remove the thin shawl over her shoulders. She wore a form fitting cream colored dress that exposed her shoulders, with black gloves, a belt that accentuated her hips, pearls around her neck, and three black roses pinned just above her bosom. The next girl behind her was an exact replica as far as mannerism goes, she moved gracefully, her head held high and her back straight.

This girl removed the black cloak from around her, the other two did the same with theirs. The blond one who was first wore a simple short black dress that had a low V with a black corset. The brunette wore shorts with a black button up with the top few buttons undone and her sleeves rolled to her elbows. Finally the red haired girl wore frayed blue shorts, with a red shirt and all three still had a black rose pinned to them.

As they approached you, you bowed respectfully then motioned for them to take a seat. The woman in front of you, their mother, caught your eye when you looked up. Her crimson lips curled into a smile that returned that warm feeling in your chest, the same one when Mother Miranda smiled at you.

"Hello there, you must be the Y/N that Mother Miranda spoke of. I am Alcina Dimitrescu, and these are my daughters." She motioned to the three girls.

"Bela." The blond nodded her head in your direction.

"Cassandra." The brunette crossed her arms across her chest and only gave you a side eye.

"And lastly, Daniela." The red head waved at you.

"Pleasure to meet you all. Tea?" You offered.

"Yes please." Lady Dimitrescu responded.

All of them sat around the coffee table, Angie sat last at the head of the table in a red lounge chair. They thanked you for the tea and cut sandwiches to snack on, and when you finished pouring their tea you stood off to the side.

"So Angie, is everything ready?" Alcina asked.

"Yes. Your outfits for the festival are all packed and ready to go, I'll have Y/N bring them up before you leave. The package on the table are gifts for your daughters."

Daniela dove for the package with a wild giggle. You tilted your head as the three of them, including Bela, excitedly rushed out to the back. The sound of their giggles faded as they got further from the manor. You returned your gaze to Angie and Alcina who silently chuckled.

"My girls always love their gifts, the Benevientos have always crafted the most beautiful clothes, and toys. No matter how old my girls are, they always seem to revert back to children when they hear they have a gift." Alcina said with a smile.

That answered your question about what the lord did, and would explain why their clothes always looked professionally made. You leaned over and poured her more tea, offered anything she might want to add then stood back upright. You cleared your throat to gather their attention.

"Will anyone else be joining us?" You asked.

The lady cocked an eyebrow in your direction before she covered her mouth to let out a reserved laugh. She settled herself and cleared her throat before soothing it with a sip of tea.

"Oh dear you're precious. No. No one else is joining us."

"There's no, Mr or Mrs Dimitrescu?" You pondered.

Now both her and Angie roared in laughter which make the tips of your ears burn. Your entire face turned red and hot as you tucked yourself into your shoulders. The two women's laughter died down after a moment. Alcina sipped her tea once more before turning her expression seeious.

"Are you offering to fill that position?" She teased.

Your entire body boiled with how hot it suddenly became. You tugged at the collar of your shirt and stutter to try and think of a reponse. She merely chuckled in response.

"That being said, I am on the search for a future daughter-in-law." Her eyes locked with yours.

Her eyes were the softest green that existed, they looked closer to gold in the sunlight that poured in from the windows. You cleared your throat again, this time from nervousness as you fidgeted with your clothes. If their laughter at your flustered state wasn't enough, you looked over your shoulder toward the hallway leading to the elevator, as if something was there. You shook your head and turned back to Alcina who only gave you another hearty laugh and smile.

"You're very adorable dear, and so much fun to tease." She took a sip of her tea.

You furrowed your brow in frustration to cover your embarrassment, Alcina smiled at you and motioned toward the empty couch across from her. After you took a seat you fidgeted with the bottom of your shirt as you thought about her daughters. As if she could sense your confusion, Alcina cleared her throat and placed her cup down.

"Mother Miranda found my daughters. Someone had left them abandoned as infants in the woods like a box of kittens. I am unable to have children of my own, so of course I took them in without hesitation. They have been, and always will be, my daughters." Her voice was soft, but toward the end her voice strained to hold back her obvious pride.

"I'm sorry I didn't-" You started.

"Don't worry about it. You're foreign and I'm sure things work differently where you're from. It took some time for the villagers to accept it too, but Mother Miranda has brought a lot of change for the better."

There was a brief silence before the girls returned with wide smiles on their faces. Bela sat next to her mother, Daniela sat next to you, and Cassandra stood against the mantel.

"Do you like your gifts?" Angie asked.

"Oh yes!" Answered Daniela immediately.

"I got a lovely new figurine to add to my collection." Bela said proudly.

"I got a new whittling set and some new layouts that I can carve, along with some new paints." Added Cassandra.

"My gift was the best of all!" Daniela reached behind her and held up a wooden boomerang, "I need to practice throwing it but boy does it fly!"

Alcina groaned and pinched her nose with her finger and thumb, "if you break anything inside so help me Daniela I will send you to boarding school."

Daniela giggled softly and leaned over to you, "jokes on her. I'd enjoy myself regardless."

You gave her a small smile and chuckled. Cassandra scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"What would your girlfriend think Dani? Or is it boyfriend this week?" She snarked.

"Why just one? Why not both?" She quipped.

You watched the two of them bicker back and forth while simultaneously tried to listen into the conversation between Bela, Alcina, and Angie. They kept mentioning this festival coming up, and you remembered Salvator asked you to go. You got Bela's attention by leaning over the coffee table.

"What's this summer festival you keep talking about?"

The three daughters perked up in excitement.

"We host a festival for each passing season to bring forth prosperity and good fortune for the next season. The summer festival is mainly for kids because there's a lot of games and prizes, but in the evening is when we'll be there." Bela said.

"Mother always sings in the evening, and that's when there's dancing." Beamed Daniela.

"And alcohol." Snickered Cassandra, "this will be the first year we can actually partake in the tastings. Of course, we'll be bringing some of our season's best wine."

"Are you coming?" Daniela directed the question toward you.

You looked at her surprised, the first you heard of it was from Salvatore and that put any desire to go down the drain. As fun as it sounded, you weren't much for alcohol and didn't know a thing about dancing; you also didn't want to run into Salvatore. Instead of verbally answering, you shrugged your shoulders.

"Oh you have to come! It'll be your first one ever. You'll love it!" Daniela pleaded.

"We'll see." You answered.

All of you talked until the clock chimed four times, Angie stood up abruptly and apologized for keeping them so late. It was odd to see Angie in such a polite manner, maybe she was replaced with her clone. Even when she ordered you to go downstairs and retrieve the clothing items for Alcina she said it politely. You went down into the basement and found a large box in front of the workshop. The entire time you felt another presence, but when you looked around there was no one, it didn't give you goosebumps like the time before; this feeling was more like when you see a spider in your room, then look away for a second and it's gone.

You brought the box up carefully, although it was the size of you and felt as though it weighed as much too. After much difficulty you got it outside and stared at the four horses that snorted in your presence. It was over a mile from the manor to the village, and you presumed it was another few miles to their castle. One of the horses had a small cart attached to it which you secured the box to and shook slightly to ensure it wouldn't slip out.

"That's not going anywhere." You said proudly as you tapped it twice.

When all was said and done, you returned to the double doors and held them open for the women.

"Thank you for having us Angie, tell Beneviento thank you for us and we look forward to the new clothing. It was a pleasure to meet you Y/N, we hope to see you at the festival." Alcina said softly.

You smiled and waved to all of them, the three daughters waved back except Daniela who hugged you. The motion took you by surprise but you returned the hug anyway and relaxed at the physical touch. Everything melted away for a few seconds, it was enough to calm you when Daniela pulled away and waved goodbye. You were exhausted, physically and emotionally. As soon as the doors shut Angie whipped around to face you.

"Clean this up and get started on dinner." She ordered.

'And she's back.' You thought.

You sighed heavily and picked up the cups, plates, kettle, and tray. It was nice to talk to someone other than yourself and Angie, and that put you in a much better mood. Back in the kitchen, and after collecting the empty tray from in front of the lord's bedroom, you hummed the tune from last night to yourself. You didn't know how the rest of the song went so you made up what sounded good to you; you were content with what you were doing, and oblivious to your audience member.

Continue Reading

[dearjjunie]

always (kang taehyun x gn!reader)

wc: 901

genre: angst, fluff, right person wrong time au

warnings: hint towards sex in the beginning (literally the tiniest hint), a lot of late night/early morning emotions put into this :,)

a/n: this is my first time in years writing a fic so i apologize in advance ! but i will be working hard to improve my writing in hopes to make you guys happy ! (even tho this may be angsty oops.) pls remember to like and reblog if you enjoy <3 mwah

he looks down at you laying against his chest, you look so peaceful he couldn’t even think about waking you up right now. moving your hair from covering your face as he kisses the top of your head “you deserve more than this” he whispers softly into the night as you shuffle and pull him closer, if he had it his way he would stay in this place forever. holding you close, saying sweet nothings knowing you won’t hear him or remember, but keeping hope that maybe his words will become a part of your dreams, that maybe it’ll be different next time. slipping away as quietly as he can to make sure you’re asleep, looking back one last time before he closes the door.

it always ended like this, with you waking up alone in a bed with memories of him still there. the slight dip and creases in the sheets that he left behind, the faint smell of his cologne still in the air, the tooth brush he left behind knowing that even after the cycle of push and pull continues, he’ll always be back.

it would start with a text, claiming it would be different, he changed, telling you he wanted you truly and only you. only to be left with nothing but the remains of his presence that he left behind, no matter how hard you try to stay away you come running back just as fast as he does. but you weren’t innocent at all, it was equal fault if not the universe itself for making soulmates meet at the wrong time.

maybe one day you can both get it right.

that’s the day you decided to make it work.

a few months later you’re laying in bed with your mind racing, endless thoughts of him, your future, anything and everything going around your head, things have been so good, the only thing you need is him. you groan as you fail to doze off again, not finding a comfortable sleeping position anywhere. ‘fuck it’ you say as you reach for your phone on the bedside table, praying to the universe this time will be different.

yn

why is sleep so uncomfortable

delivered 4:38 am

taehyun

why are u awake . it’s 4 am

delivered 4:40 am

yn

i could ask u the same lmao

delivered 4:41 am

taehyun?

delivered 4:42 am

do you wanna meet at our spot?

delivered 4:44 am

i cant stop thinking about you

delivered 4:44 am

taehyun

i’ll be there in a bit just wait for me at the tree

delivered 4:53 am

slipping on some comfy warm clothes and shoes, you start your way towards the tree that has become your designated meeting spot to get away from the world.

after a short walk you arrive, sitting on the ground with your back against the tree and pulling your knees closer to your body, you sigh and take in the view around you, checking your phone for the time that stares back at you. 5:12. less than half an hour before blue hour, the magical hour as everyone calls it. you wish with everything in you that was true, you needed something to work out right.

hearing footsteps and raising your head up, noticing the blue-haired male also in comfy clothes standing a few feet away from you, he walks over and grabs your hand to pull you up, with no words spoken you both start walking up the hill to your spot.

once you got to the top you sit on the hill with him following your actions, your eyes gazing over the city below. all those people with such different lives, everyone being different but always the same.

you feel his eyes on you, looking towards him as you tear up “i’m tired of this game, i want you. only you.” looking into those brown eyes full of stars as you admit what you’ve been holding in for so long.

he turns his body towards you and motions you to do the same, grabbing your face with both hands as he wipes your tears with his thumb. “it’s always been you, only you.” you let out a sob as you cling onto him, wondering how things got so complicated so quick, why it took so long for the emotions overwhelming you to break free.

he pets your hair as you pull away, looking deep into his eyes for any signs of hesitation, any sign that this was like the other times, only to find nothing but love and adoration. “i’m sorry i took so long, but i know what i want. you.” he whispers to you with sincerity.

you look over to the city again, seeing the blue hue over the scene in front of you, looking down at your phone as you get a notification, with him curiously doing the same as the time turns right in front of you. 5:53. you look back up at each other “i need us to be real this time” is all you’re able to get out before he’s softly pressing his lips against yours, this kiss is different from past ones, used to the rough lust-filled kisses. breaking away from the gentle kiss, you look into his eyes and smile for the first time that day “then let’s be real” he smiles and leans in for another kiss. today was the day you were both determined to stay.