#I had a dream about you by richard siken

[hppymnday]

I couldn’t sleep so I was scrolling around and found this…

and wrote this… (very rushed, once again not proofread, very messy blurb)

In the dead of night, when Gotham was the quietest it could be, and if he was lucky enough to slip into a nightmare-less sleep, his fantasies would take hold. Silly little moments his mind conjured, most if not all of them about you. Perusing a corner store for snacks with you, on the bus whispering to each other about something. He could never quite remember the entirety of the illusion when he awoke. Only a brief clip of it and the fading feeling of safety would stay with him.

Safety, the thought always made him scoff. There was no such thing as safe in Gotham, he knew that. The familiar sound of punches being thrown in a dark alley and gory news stories taught him better. An almost constant sense of discomfort had a funny way of crawling into his life.

Was it so wrong for these dreams to give him a brief moment of peace? A break from the endless sounds of the city and his own smothering thoughts. A gift he would’ve prayed for at an earlier point in his life. Why was it that after every time he opened his eyes in the morning and savored the remnants of you, he would feel guilty? Perverted almost, as if he’d been dreaming more.. vulgar senecios with you.

Yet these moments were perhaps even more unobtainable than those. They were sweet, sickly sweet, and offered a kinder version of his life he knew he didn’t deserve. Warm skin, gentle smiles, he wouldn’t flinch when you touched him in these dreams. He could hold your hand, you’d let him, slightly swinging them as you walk along. Or at least that’s what he thinks he’d do, his own imagination filling in the blanks of what he doesn’t remember.

He has a favorite. One where he stayed in bed for hours after waking up, desperately clawing at the sheets and his hair, trying to go back to that perfect mirage.

You two were in his apartment only cleaner, lighter in every sense of the words. There were no ledgers left on the floor or scratch of rats in the walls. And he felt as if he could finally breathe, there was no yelling, no one telling him what to do.

He was reading something, you were too. Sitting side by side, backs against the wall, legs touching under the covers. Something happens and the books disappear and the rest of the room dissolves into nothing as you settle your head in his lap. And he brushes the hair out of your face, you smile.

Then he wakes up.

Whenever he thinks about these fantasies during the day he gets nauseous. Heavy breathing accompanied by the repeated phrase of “I shouldn’t” makes him spiral.

“You should be ashamed,”

“Why? For wanting to feel safe?”

And because he knows that yes, he should be, he swallows and forgets about the weight of you resting on him.

[derangedrhythms]

In these dreams it's always you:

Richard Siken, Crush; from ‘I Had a Dream About You'

[thensson]

[ziggystqrdust]

i had a dream about you // alucinatio by alexmeg

“He stares at the ceiling, blinking blankly every now and then, until his eyes close and he falls asleep.”

hey so what the fuck

bonus

caption translation: “you’re an angst enjoyer”

video translation: “that feeling like where it hurts so much but it feels good, you know that feeling when “aww im so sad cuz they didnt end up together😞” but its also satisfying in a way that they didnt end up together😁”

[asoftepiloguemylove]

if someday the moon calls you by your name don't be surprised / because every night i tell her about you

Richard Siken I Had A Dream About You / Vance Joy Mess Is Mine / Alessia Di Cersare The Side Effects of Eating Too Many Clementines / Frank O'Hara Biotherm / pinterest / pinterest / Tyler Knott Gregson Chasers of the Light: Poems from the Typewriter Series / Amrita Pritam Pinjar: The Skeleton & Other Stories / Ron Hicks Twilight Conversation / Joseph Marius Jean Avy Bal Blanc / Natalie Diaz Postcolonial Love Poem / Shahrazad al-Khalij

[phosphenemoth]

"In these dreams it's always you:

The boy in the sweatshirt, the boy on the bridge, the boy who always keeps me from jumping off the bridge.

Oh the things we invent when we are scared,

And want to be rescued"

[mayasaura]

thinking about that quote that's like "oh, the things we invent when we are scared and want to be rescued" wrt the kiriona & phyrra & nona thing; kiriona wants so badly for someone to save her, so she lashes out at phyrra and nona when they're not the people she wanted to show up

I think. It might be worse. Because yes, she wanted Harrow to save her from her tower, and she HATES that she got Nona instead, but also. She's been wanting so badly for someone to save her for such a long time and

Pyrrha kind of is who she wanted to show up. She's just twenty years too late.

[malaisequotes]

“I said my arms are very long and your head’s on fire. I said kiss me here and here and here and you did. Then you wanted pasta, so we trampled out into the tomatoes and rolled around to make the sauce. You were very beautiful.”

I Had a Dream About You by Richard Siken

[uaravsh]

"In the dream I don't tell anyone, you put your head in my lap."

- Richard Siken, I Had a Dream About You (@uaravsh)

[octoberdead]

[newvision]

that’s what I’m fucking talking about

[willtasker]

I Had a Dream About You by Richard Siken

All the cows were falling out of the sky and landing in the mud. You were drinking sangria and I was throwing oranges at you.

But it didn’t matter. I said my arms are very long and your head’s on fire

I said kiss me here and here and here

And you did

Then you wanted pasta

So we trampled out into the tomatoes and rolled around to make the sauce

You were very beautiful

We were in the Safeway parking lot. I couldn’t find my cigarettes

You said Hurry up! but I was worried there would be a holdup

And we would be stuck in a hostage situation, hiding behind

The frozen meats, with nothing to smoke for hours

You said Don’t be silly

So I followed you into the store

We were thumping the melons when I heard somebody say Nobody move!

I leaned over and whispered in your ear I told you so

There was a show on the television about buried treasure. You were trying to convince me that we should buy shovels

And go out into the yard and I was trying to convince you that I was a vampire

On the way to the hardware store I kept biting your arm

And you said if I really was a vampire I would be biting your neck

So I started biting your neck

And you said Cut it out!

And you bought me an ice cream, and then we saw the UFO

These are the dreams we should be having. I shouldn’t have to

Clean them up like this

You were lying in the middle of the empty highway

The sky was red and the sand was red and you were wearing a brown coat

There were flecks of foam in the corners of your mouth

The birds were watching you

Your eyes were closed and you were listening to the road and I could hear your breathing, I could hear your heart beating. I carried you to the car and drove you home but you weren’t making any sense

I took a shower and tried to catch my breath

You were lying on top of the bedspread

In boxer shorts, watching cartoons and laughing but not making any sound. Your skin looked blue in the television light

Your teeth looked yellow. Still wet, I lay down next to you. Your arms, your legs, your naked chest

Your ribs delineated like a junkyard dogs. There’s nowhere to go, I thought. There’s nowhere to go

You were sitting in a bathtub at the hospital and you were crying

You said it hurt

I mean the buildings that were not the hospital

I shouldn’t have mentioned the hospital

I don’t think I can take this much longer

In the dream I don’t tell anyone, you put your head in my lap. Let’s say you’re driving down the road with your eyes closed

But my eyes are also closed

You’re by the side of the road

You’re by the side of the road and you’re doing all the talking

While I stare at my shoes. They’re nice shoes, brown and comfortable, and I like your voice

In the dream I don’t tell anyone, I’m afraid to wake you up

In these dreams it’s always you:

The boy in the sweatshirt

The boy on the bridge, the boy who always keeps me

From jumping off the bridge

Oh, the things we invent when we are scared and want to be rescued

Your jeep. Your teeth. The coffee that you bought me. The sandwich cut in half on the plate

I woke up and ate ice cream in the dark

Hunched over on the wooden chair in the kitchen

Listening to the rain

I borrowed your shoes and didn’t put them away

You were crying and eating rice

The surface of the water was still and bright

Your feet were burning so I put my hands on them, but my hands

Were burning too

You had a bottle of pills but I wouldn’t let you swallow them. You said Will you love me even more when Im dead?

And I said No, and I threw the pills on the sand

Look at them, you said. They look like emeralds

I put you in the cage with the ocelots. I was trying to fatten you up

With sausage and bacon

Somehow you escaped and climbed up the branches of a pear tree. I chopped it down but there was no one in it

I went to the riverbed to wait for you to show up. You didn't show up

I kept waiting

[wastealien]

i had a dream about you by richard siken

dana scully and fox mulder

[0girlblog0]

you can’t convince me adrianne lenker hasn’t read this poem

[weidli]

screaming crying throwing up thinking about how im freien fall is a ghost story in every way that matters

[eternallynamelessvoid]

One day I hope I’m just vapor in the clouds in the never-ending water cycle. I’d actually have purpose then.

I wish I had wings.

Really I just wish I could run.