#I guess with all the feelz

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

hello hi

okaaay so idk if this is discussed before, but i was wondering. if ipk didnt air on star(i so wish it wasnt :') and rather on ott with no restrictions, how many times would asr and khushi ended up kissing(lips no pecks)/making out etc?

Hello hello,

You know IPK benefits from being a slow burn. It's somehow far more electric when they don't kiss, but you can see in their eyes that the lines have crossed in their minds.

OTT actually delivers romance rather poorly cause they're unable to build romance, the feelz, the slow burn.

Also them kissing means they're actively actually taking a step they can't step back from. You can hide the feelings in your eyes - but not behave as if you haven't kissed someone on the lips.

But yeah, given OTT probably would've kissed a hundred times and Arnav would have completed his what the-

Best,

Jalebi

[daryl-dixon-daydreams]

Words: 3,476 Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader Warnings: mentions of past injury, nothing else really! (oh always language I guess? because of who I am as a person haha) Summary: The reader insists on leaving Hilltop and Daryl insists on helping her despite her annoyance. A/N: Guyyyysssss, the dynamic that is growing between these two... #FEELZ #OOF

“I ain’t askin’ ya to stay,” Daryl drawled quietly, walking beside you across the grassy open space in front of the manor. “ ‘M just sayin’—gimme ten minutes to get some supplies together for ya. It’d make all of us feel better.”

“I don’t need your supplies,” you retorted, staring straight ahead. Daryl was annoyingly persistent.

“It ain’t about—” he let out an exasperated sigh. “It ain’t about what ya need. We’re all worried. I know ya think we only care ‘bout findin’ out about them skin freaks from ya, but it’s not just that. Enid is sick over the fact that yer gonna walk outta here against medical advice. And honestly, so am I. How ya gonna even run out there? How ya gonna fight in the shape yer in if ya run into trouble?”

You finally looked at him and his blue eyes were intense. “There are ways around fighting,” you said.

His jaw tensed. “Like livin’ in the damn trees?”

“Walkers don’t look up. And neither do most people.”

He sighed heavily, his hands clenching into fists anxiously and then releasing again. “Ya ain’t even got any arrows left. At least let me get ya some more so ya can protect yerself. I just gotta run over to the armory. It’ll take five minutes.”

You fiddled with the strap of your empty quiver. It was disturbingly light without the usual weight of your ammo. You conceded. “Fine. I’ll be by the gate. Five minutes.”

Daryl looked immensely relieved. “Alrigh’. I’ll be right back.” He strode away hurriedly and you watched until his broad shoulders and the distinctive wing design disappeared around the corner of a building. You stood still for a moment until you could feel the eyes of nearly everyone in sight landing on you and sticking. Your anxiety began to rise and you gulped at the tightness in your throat. Your palms tickled. Your heart thumped.

You cast your gaze upwards and saw Achilles wheeling gracefully overhead, his tail fanned out against the sky revealing the characteristic the wedge shape of ravens. You felt a little calmer with your eyes on him and forced in a long slow breath. Then, you adjusted your pack and headed toward the gate.

You stopped at the wall and leaned against it, ignoring the curious looks from the guards up on the platform as best you could. Despite the mildness of the day, you clutched your cloak around yourself. You waited.

You didn’t have a watch, so you couldn’t say for sure how many minutes it’d been when Daryl came hurrying down the slope toward you. Dog was now at his side and—wait—

You straightened up immediately, your brow furrowing low. “Five minutes so you can grab me supplies?” Your expression was decidedly skeptical.

He shrugged. “I did,” he said, holding out a bundle of arrows.

You snatched them from him, perhaps a bit aggravated. Your narrowed gaze on him was sharp. “Going somewhere?” you said, cocking an eyebrow at him. Daryl had a pack on his back, his crossbow over his shoulder, and was wearing an extra layer he certainly didn’t have on when he went to retrieve the arrows for you.

“Turns out we’re headin’ the same way for a bit,” he drawled, undeterred by the harshness of your gaze.

“You don’t know where I’m heading,” you retorted. Achilles let out a few sharp clicks with his bill and settled down on your shoulder. The rush of air from his wings blew across your cheek. Dog tilted his head and whined, looking up at the bird.

Daryl scratched anxiously at a non-existent itch on the back of his head. “I mean, if ya wanna get technical ‘bout it,” he said.

Your eyes narrowed further. “You’re gonna follow me?” you asked, incredulous. “Seriously?”

He gulped. “If I gotta track ya, I will. S’just for a couple days, so ‘m nearby just in case. Until, ya know, yer a bit less—”

“Less what?” you snapped. “Useless?”

Now his brow furrowed to match yours. “Nah. Hurt. I doubt ya’ve ever been useless.”

Your nostrils flared as you stepped toward him, Achilles fluttering a little to stay perched on your shoulder. “I don’t need your fucking babysitting and the first chance I get, I’m gonna lose you.”

“Ya can try,” Daryl said, determined. He sighed heavily. “ ‘M sorry, okay? I can’t just—just let ya wander off in the shape yer in to get killed by fuckin’ walkers or some of them skins. I owe ya a debt for savin’ me and Dog and—”

You pointed at him, almost shoving your finger into the center of his chest. The color in your cheeks rose. “You don’t owe me a damn thing and I certainly don’t owe you anything either.”

“Tha’s what ya think.”

You let out a frustrated growl and tossed your hands up, pacing away. Achilles took off again with a high whistle and gurgling sound. “Your doctors seem to think they saved my life, so doesn’t that make us even?” He shrugged again. “I guess not to me.”

The muscle in your jaw tensed as you stared at him. He was infuriating. “Just stay the fuck out of my way…”

Daryl ducked your gaze and patted Dog before whistling to the guards above and signaling for them to open the gate.

You stifled a grimace as you adjusted your pack and strode out, with him and Dog on your heels.

It had to be close to thirty minutes before either of you spoke a word. Daryl was walking just slightly behind you now as you moved beneath the canopy of old oaks and pines. You hesitated at a small creek and bent to look at a scraping in the muddy banks, touching the marks with outstretched fingertips, chewing on the inside of your cheek thoughtfully as you examined it.

Daryl knelt down beside you, also studying the sign. “Walker,” he drawled.

You stood and rolled your eyes. “Or Shepherd. They mimic their movements.” You clutched a hand over the wound in your side as you climbed to your feet. Daryl’s fingers alighted softly beneath your elbow for a moment in an attempt to help you to your feet, but you quickly startled away, recoiling and looking at him with surprise. Your eyes were wide and almost fearful.

He stepped back, eyeing you nervously. “Sorry,” he said in a low voice. “I was just tryin’ to help ya—”

“Well, don’t,” you said severely. “I didn’t ask for your help.”

Daryl frowned and a shadow seemed to settle over his eyes as he studied your reaction. “Sorry,” he murmured again. He heard a raven croak overhead and knew Achilles was flying low over the trees.

You sighed, some of the tension leaving you, and shook your head, resuming your previous pace and stepping carefully rock to rock over the stream. Daryl followed while Dog happily splashed through to the other side, stopping and nosing around in the long sedges clinging onto the bank. “Don’t you have better things to do than follow a stranger through the woods? Like interrogating Lydia? Or preparing your community for when Alpha and her assholes show up?”

“I ain’t the leader there. Tara can handle it,” he replied, his eyes flickering over the surrounding woods. He was on edge. He sincerely hoped he could keep you from anything strenuous for a couple days. He had no problem with you being pissed off at him if it kept you from seriously hurting yourself further. He knew he could never forgive himself if something like that happened, though he wasn’t quite sure why. Maybe it was just the debt he felt he owed, but that didn’t seem to entirely explain it. You were essentially a stranger, but there was something about you… He felt drawn as if by a magnetic pull. Perhaps it was just the strangeness of the life you were living or maybe the mystery you seemed to intentionally wrap around yourself like a quilt, carefully guarding yourself. He felt like he was grasping for any little puzzle piece to help him construct a clearer picture of who you were.

There was a thick silence for a few moments, but when you next spoke your voice was softer, less exasperated. “Lydia—what will happen to her?” you asked suddenly.

Daryl hazarded a careful glance at you as he came to your side. You’d slowed a little to speak to him. He shook his head. “I dunno. That all depends a lot on her, on what happens next with these Whisperers. She may end up stayin’ in that cell a long time. Or, if some things change, she could be one of us,” he said.

“Just like that?” you said. “From one of them to one of you?” Your tone was cynical.

“I ain’t sayin’ it’d be easy or—or simple,” he drawled. “But, yeah. Maybe. She’s just a kid. Like ya said.”

Another sigh escaped you and he caught the slight shake of your head. You started forward again and this time Daryl kept pace beside you instead of lagging slightly behind. “And who was that in the other cell? Your son?” you asked.

Daryl let out a scoff and shook his head. “Nah... But he’s been a royal pain in my ass so far,” he growled.

“So, who is he then?”

“He’s—my best friend’s son. He’s family. ‘M watchin’ after him for a bit while he gets some trainin’ at Hilltop.”

“No, you’re not,” you laughed wryly. “Not anymore you aren’t.”

He shot you a sideways glance, and some part of you was satisfied to see that he looked a touch annoyed. “He’s locked up. What’s he gonna do?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know. Give away all your community secrets to Lydia? After all, they looked about the same age and he certainly seemed concerned about what I was doing there talking to her. Teenage hormones being what they are—”

Daryl stopped dead and you slowed and turned to look at him. “What?”

His bright blue eyes were narrowed. “I know what yer doin’. It ain’t gonna work.”

“What?” you said again. “I’m not doing anything!”

“Uh huh,” he growled, starting forward again.

You laughed dryly and shrugged. “Seems like I hit a nerve…” you murmured.

Just then there was a burst of noise overhead and you looked up to see Achilles dropping back down through the canopy toward you. He let out a raucous series of caws and hovered a few feet above you, something clutched in his foot. Daryl watched curiously as you extended a hand and the bird dropped something into your palm.

Your expression tightened as you examined it. “Thanks, buddy,” you said to the bird. With your other hand, you dug into a pocket and withdrew some crimson berries you presented to him in your palm. He quickly gulped them down and flew off again, rising gracefully and twisting through the branches overhead with ease.

Dog was prancing anxiously on his front paws, sniffing eagerly at what was in your hand.

“What is that?” Daryl asked, moving closer.

You opened your hand and there was a partially bloody and clearly decomposing ear. “Achilles says there are four of the walking dead nearby,” you said softly. “He looks out for them. And for people.”

“Damn. That’s a pretty fuckin’ good lookout ya’ve got. Wish mine had wings,” he said, grabbing hold of Dog’s collar and holding him back from attempting to eat the ear out of your palm. You tossed it to the ground, however, and he got a hold of it anyway.

You tilted your head to the left. “They’re this way,” you said, starting off in that direction silently, your bow at your side.

“Shouldn’t we be going a different way then?” Daryl asked.

You looked back at him and shook your head. “No. You can if you want. I plan on putting them down.”

Daryl swore under his breath. “Ya’ve got a serious knife wound and ya wanna go lookin’ for a fight?”

“Like I said before, it doesn’t have to be a fight. Just stay quiet and hidden until the right time.” You crouched low and moved through some denser undergrowth despite the way your body ached and every movement tugged at the stitches on your side. Daryl followed, ignoring the sharp teeth of briars poking into his skin and grabbing at his clothes. In less than a minute, the two of you began to hear the familiar shuffling of staggered steps and low growls of the undead wandering toward you.

Daryl sat up on his knees and peered over your shoulder. He could easily see the shapes of them approaching. He waited. He noticed your fingers smoothing over your bowstring. Another moment and you gracefully pulled an arrow from the quiver on your back and moved to nock it onto the string.

When you stood, he stood. Before you could even bend your bow, there was a snap sound and the rush of air past your face as a bolt flew directly past you and buried itself into the center of the forehead. The figured dropped like a lead anchor.

A metallic swish came next and Daryl’s knife tumbled through the air and took out the second one. He stepped slightly in front of you and whistled to Dog, who took off after the third and took it down easily. By then Daryl had another bolt loaded onto his crossbow and he shot the fourth.

You’d hardly gotten an arrow onto your string before the onslaught. He looked back at you over his shoulder and easily read the annoyance painting your features. “Seriously?” you said tersely.

He shrugged and went to collect his knife and bolts. “Ya could rip a stitch again,” he said. Dog stood panting over the bodies.

Achilles let out a hoarse croak and fluttered down to land on your shoulder. You stroked his back and scratched under his chin as you wandered toward the downed undead. “Check for masks,” you said softly, watching as Daryl retrieved and sheathed his knife. His matching one was still at your hip. He’d insisted on you keeping it since yours had been lost in the woods during the fight against Alpha. The fact that he’d split a matching set, obviously religiously maintained, had struck you.

You lifted a foot to kick one of the bodies over and Daryl stopped you. “Whoa, hey!” he barked at you. “Lemme do that. Ya tryin’ to hurt yerself?” he growled. You rolled your eyes but stepped back. He heaved them over, one by one, and checked for masks.

“No Shepherds,” you said as he examined the last one.

“Not here anyway,” Daryl drawled, his blue eyes darting over the surrounding woods. He began patting down the clothing on the bodies, something you often did as well. Sometimes you’d recover ammo or other useful things out of the pockets.

Still slightly annoyed by his interference, you nudged Achilles who flew up off you shoulder. You whistled a single note that started low and then rose to a higher pitch. The raven croaked and descended silently toward Daryl before plucking out a strand of his wavy brown hair and then taking off again.

“Ow! Goddamn!” He jolted to his feet and looked back at you, shocked. “Did’ya tell him to do that?”

You smiled back at him vaguely and held out a hand which Achilles dropped the strand into. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Uh huh…” He glared, but couldn’t quite stop the tiniest smile from curving his lips as he shook his head at you.

“Anything good?” you asked, looking back at the bodies.

“Nah,” he said, setting a bolt back into the flight groove of his crossbow. He fixed his blue eyes on you when he straightened up again and they met your gaze and held it. You noticed then just how blue they were and felt an uncharacteristic wash of uncertainty trickle over you. “Ya really ain’t gonna tell me yer name? I mean, I feel like since yer bird just ripped out some of my hair maybe—”

You cut him off by laughing and it surprised both of you. “Alright. That’s fair. It’s Y/N.”

Daryl nodded. “Alrigh’. Y/N.”

Something about hearing him say your name produced an unusual fluttering in the middle of your chest, and you realized your body and you realized how long it’d been since you’d heard anyone speak it. You ducked his eyes and sighed. “Alright. Probably should keep moving,” you said, replacing the arrow still in your hand back in your quiver and moving around Daryl and past the walkers strewn on the forest floor. You sunk your fingers into Dog’s thick fur and gave him a few scratches as you passed him and the Malinois let out a happy noise and began walking at your side.

“Tha’s funny,” Daryl said, starting after you.

“Hmm?”

“Dog usually prefers me over ev’rybody,” he drawled.

You glanced back at him and then down at Dog beside you. “Oh. Sorry. Are your feelings hurt?”

Daryl could hear a slight touch of jest in your voice again. He liked it. It eased his worries over your condition somewhat. “Maybe a little bit,” he said.

There was another minute or so of silence before you broke it again. “I have to ask you,” you began, “what exactly is your plan here?” You were slightly out of breath and paused partially up a steep hill to look back at him. You were sore and your stamina was nowhere near normal. You could tell you wouldn’t be able to go much further that day.

“What plan?” Daryl responded.

“You’re really going to follow me for… days?”

Daryl shrugged. “Somebody should be around. Just in case.”

You sighed, starting at him and shaking your head. “There’s no way I can convince you to just leave and go back to your community?”

He shook his head. “Nope.”

“I’m fine, Daryl.” “Yeah, well I’ll know that ‘cuz I’mma be around. Yer stubborn, but so am I.”

“Yeah, I’m gathering that,” you breathed. You shut your eyes for a moment and pulled in some deep breaths.

“…Ya okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah…” you said quickly. “Just a little tired. And sore,” you added with a laugh, one hand coming to rest over the bandaged wound on your side.

He nodded. “I wasn’t kiddin’ when I said ya lost a ton of blood. It was—scary…” he drawled. “Ya wanna take a rest?”

You shook your head, your eyes moving over the trees around the two of you. “No. This area isn’t safe.”

Daryl’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

You shook your head. “It’s just not. But—I don’t think I can go too much farther today and we should be tucked away somewhere before it gets dark. I don’t think I’m climbing anything without a ladder today and we won’t make it to—anyway... I know a place that isn’t much farther that should be safe.”

Daryl was surprised that you had now seemed to accept that he’d be tagging along. You started forward again and he trailed behind you, catching glimpses of Achilles dropping below the canopy every now and again. Dog trotted between you and Daryl now, sniffing here and there and occasionally breaking off to one side or the other. It was almost like a relaxing walk through the woods…

Eventually, you came to a dead stop and Daryl looked over your shoulder to see a small cabin that seemed to have been nearly consumed by the vegetation and wild growth around it. He glanced sideways at you and was startled by how pale you looked.

“Y/N,” he said gently so you’d look at him. “You okay?”

You nodded, but he wasn’t entirely convinced. “This is our stop for the night.”

“Alrigh’. I’ll make sure it’s clear.” He whistled to Dog and this time you didn’t argue. You were exhausted. And part of you was glad to see the wings on Daryl’s back that were becoming almost familiar.

[blueboyinthestars]

𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎

Hello! I'm Hamato Leonardo, the eldest of my brothers!

I am a minor, so i ask you to please not be weird!!!

any pronouns are okay, although recently i've been preferring he/him

Tags!!!

#leorambles

#🍊<3 mikey<3

#zenny<3 zen<3

#💣 <3 raph<3

#elltalks anything by me that was deemed out of character or is something that seems odd for me I guess.

#📋🖥 <3 donnie<3

#💀💣<3 Casey!! IXBSKANA >////<

#🧪👶<3 april<3333

#💙🎵 Music!!!

#❤️💜🐢 @purpleshellhaver

#❤️💥 raphie<33

#LILJELLY!! @purpleshellhaver AGAIN bc I love my Lil bro sm and I also can't take away their matching tag with his twin so he get two!!.

Let me know if either of you two don't want to be tagged!!

#sleepyleo💙 posts made when sleepy!!

MY FAMILY <3

@raphzilla

@antonios-pizza-number1-fan

@smartpurpleturtle

@z3n-ster

@caseyjones2012 MY MANS ILY SM IFNSKABZ

@apriloneill (totally not my favorite rn...)

@jellynardo SO cool but SOOOO british.

@doctordelicate-touch you remind of an orange sweater. Your awesome.

@straighteal my baby bro<33

@blueeedevilll SILLY!?!??!!?

Tello, I already tagged not gonna make them suffer three times!!!

DNI if you support t-cest/pro-shipping, Wilbur Soot, Dream, Melanie, or being a shitty person!! TY<33

I also have an account over on spacehey under the same user that is being set up, and am connected to @blueboyinspace

Banner made by @w1ll0zfak3

(Now some other important stuff)

I'm a sys.?

I now have discord! Not comfortable with dms until I get to know you tho.

I don't entirely understand this all and how i feelz but people's identity change all the time,

[theromanticrationalist]

Catching up on Young Sheldon. . .

I can't believe Young Sheldon is almost over and Sheldon shall be leaving us for good! 😩 I just hope this finale with George's death and us seeing Sheldon and Amy as an "old married couple" will be worth all this pain!! I am hyping myself up for feeling A WHOLE LOT OF FEELZ. I AM NOT READY.

I was already getting pretty emotional in the A Fancy Article and A Scholarship for a Baby episode. Firstly my heart was aching for my poor baby who was under so much stress to choose which school he would be attending! I was feeling his distress at feeling pressure from all sides (especially since in retrospect we know the decision was genuinely a major life crossroads for him), and I was hating how everyone was manipulating him! It always upsets me a lot when people take advantage of Sheldon because of his naiveté or how his idiosyncrasies make him an easy target. I can definitely relate to some of that, having a similar naiveté as Sheldon and inability to read social behaviors, particularly of those closest to me (weirdly). I think I have gotten better, but mainly I feel like I've just gotten more insecure and socially awkward, but oh well. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

At any rate, I get so upset seeing Sheldon having to struggle with things in a way most people do not and having literally no one understand or acknowledge what he is going through. It might not be scenarios that seem important or vexing for others, but they genuinely and sincerely are for Sheldon, and that is valid. So many people think Sheldon is egotistical, and he definitely can be self-focused and arrogant many times, but come on! This boy is his only advocate! "Well, no one cares that you care," Missy said to Sheldon in episode 10. "I'm someone. And I care that I care. And I care that I care that I care!" To me pretty much sums him up perfectly! Sheldon isn't egotistical, he just knows how to self-advocate (which is actually very difficult for a lot of people) in a world that is difficult for him to navigate! Anyway, thankfully though, my heart was warmed by Dr. Linkletter and Sturgis finally coming around, turning against the awful and shameless President Hagemeyer, and doing right by our Sheldon. Dr. Linkletter loves the annoying little string bean after all! (Like anyone seriously couldn't!) I was very moved by their encouragement of Sheldon, that he had outgrown them, surpassed them, and was going to do great things in theoretical physics and advance science in ways that they never could! It was very touching. My little baby bean is all grown up, and off to destroy maths! 😭 But of course. . . that reveal of Sheldon choosing MIT! 😂😂😂 OMG! That was TOO PERFECT. I was DYING. I absolutely LOVED that twist! Sheldon Cooper is such a stink'in brat! This WHOLE time he was giving Howard (and others) a hard time about MIT, acting like it was a crap institution and that every other university is so far above it - and the only reason he himself did not go there was because of the weather! It was literally HIS FIRST CHOICE. OMG SHELDON LEE COOPER!! 🤣🤣🤣 And I loved how Sheldon Prime was just like "Wait for it. . ." like it was all self-evident his being justified in dissing MIT in the end. It is SO ON BRAND for Sheldon I couldn't take it! Probably the best story twist of this season!

It also made me want to scream because of George travelling with Sheldon to see him off on this new life adventure, and saying how proud he was of him. It is a beautiful parallel to earlier in Season 3 when George took Sheldon to visit Caltech to listen to a lecture by Stephen Hawking, and saying he believed Sheldon would fit right in there. To know that this is probably going to be the last moment that Sheldon and his father have together, and how fitting it should be his father to be the one to see him off, makes me just want to sob my heart out! UUUUUUUUUGH. 😭😭😭 Sheldon and his daddy! THIS ISN'T FAIR!! 😫😫😫😩😩😩💔💔💔 Final random thoughts: - I guess Sturgis and Connie aren't going to get back together. I'm really bummed about that. They were so perfect! No offense to Dale, but Sturgis is kind of the best. IT SHOULD BE STURGIS AND CECE HAVING CUTE GRANDPA AND GRAND BABY MOMENTS TOGETHER! - I go back and forth between being excited for the Georgie and Mandy's first marriage show, to being absolutely devastated that not only will Sheldon not be in it but neither will Missy! - to thinking it might actually be pretty cute. Ugh. I guess I will watch it, but I really don't know how they are going to make a whole show on the concept. I guess we will see! - I am noticing that Sheldon's "brain itch" and focus on organizing and optimizing spaces is developing right when the most change is happening in his family and within himself (puberty). Of course he was always this way, but he didn't used to care about the state of things outside of his own room or his own bubble, e.g. school/dorm/his computer. Now he is trying to order things beyond his immediate needs, and I think that is interesting! These are coping mechanisms and ways he can make himself feel secure and in control. Once again no one around him is taking note of this!!

Look at him! Look at this baby becoming a lawyer in 24 hours to help out his MeeMaw! My heart genuinely broke when Sheldon looked at his MeeMaw with the purest, most guileless, baby kitten eyes saying he didn't want to see her go to jail. DUDE. If I were Connie, I would shape up right then and there!

My Favorite Sheldon Cooper Quotes: Sheldon: "I finished organizing the religious items! I separated them by New Testament hokum, Old Testament hokum, and general nonsense!" Mary: "Also Sheldon couldn't sleep knowing that the room was only half-organized." Sheldon: "It's true! It was like my brain was itchy and I couldn't scratch it! Very irritating!" Mary: "It was. Very." Connie: "Well, I thank you both, but I should be doing this myself." Mary: "Yes, you should, but we are already here." Sheldon: "Great! I'm going to start with the books! I invented my own Dewey Decimal System, but instead of decimals I use fractions!" (The utter pure joy Sheldon gets from organizing things and inventing his own ways of doing it is the most precious thing. Be your truest self, baby!!" Sheldon Prime: "I'm not proud of this, but that night I relieved myself in Billy Spark's chicken coop. Until my wife, those hens were the only females I exposed myself to. . .I guess I could have left that part out. Oh well." (Me screaming and hollering and throwing popcorn at my screen!!)

[onthewaytosomewhere]

WIP Word Search

alright so I think I did this some time in the last couple weeks but these words had me curious so - why not - right?!

thanks for the tag @kiwiana-writes (all of your words made me so darn excited for what you have coming)

i didn't think i was honestly gonna have any of them but i had some bits for 2 of them and 2 of these were definitely written sometime in the last like 48 hours so guess it was like fate lol - my words this time were: land, answer, spare, funeral, value -

land: from - hockey player alex bookstore owner henry just need to fuck it out maybe i dunno

He must have missed the end of the conversation because he’s brought out of his moment of self-contemplation by Bea’s hand landing on his arm, “I’ll let you get back to what you were doing, Hen,” Before he can respond, she is already scurrying off back to the office, sending Henry a quick wink that he almost missed.

answer: from Alex side of college au

He decides to answer honestly, “I’m not sure, but I hope so. I just hafta get past the point where I’m afraid to say anything for fear of screwing up whatever friendship we have going now.”

and 2 from obligatory college au - henry! - alex has feelz wake da f up (these are from 2 of my fave pieces of dialogue from this fic - so far at least)

“The cart before the horse? You are such a dork. It is so damn adorable. To answer your question, maybe it’s more about breaking the tension that has been around for so long that it probably has its own zip code now. A zip code is – “

&

Henry smiles at the memory of those kisses, “I’m not answering that a gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell.”

spare: nope - not at this point

funeral: nowhere to be found

value: nada, nada, limonada

i've seen this floating aroud so much I'm not even sure who hasn't done this anymore so open tag to anyone who hasn't or just maybe wants to again (lol)

words for ya: what, love, this, maybe

[spartanguard]

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by my bestiest @optomisticgirl <3

how many works do you have on ao3?

55

what's your total ao3 word count?

647,844

what fandoms do you write for?

Just Once Upon a Time (although, technically, I have written one that incorporated enough of The Picture of Dorian Gray that it's listed in my fandoms)

what are your top five fics by kudos?

Something In The Water, Sick of Love, A Tall Tail, A Rose in the Deeps of my Heart, and To Trust Someone Else [kind of bummed that my fave got bumped out of my top 5!]

do you respond to comments? why or why not?

Not on AO3, because I'm weird and like to keep that comment count representative of actual comments. But I try to on tumblr to make sure people know I've seen and appreciate their response!

what's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I guess it depends on definition of angsty...I've definitely had some dramatic scenes close to the end (especially Sons of Love and Death and Even Death Won't Part Us Now), but I can't NOT have a happy ending. I guess the end of (Love Will See Us Through These) Dark Days is pretty bittersweet...but it's inspired by The Hunger Games so that was inevitable ;)

what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Just about everything, haha. I love having lots of drama along the way, but if it doesn't have a happy end, what's the point?

do you get hate on fics?

Only once; someone got mad because I included KnightRook in We Cannot Choose Our Fate rather than a CS baby. They apparently forgot the 'back' button on their browser was a thing.

do you write smut? if so, what kind?

Hell yeah. The more magic, the better. (also: the wetter, the better. put them together and you get mermaid smut. yes.) But mainly, I just like to do really feelz-y stuff.

do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

Not really, but not because I don't like them or anything--I've just never really been inspired to (although there's an idea in the back of my mind involving a Community/OUAT crossover).

have you ever had a fic stolen?

thankfully, no. That crosses all kinds of lines.

have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I'm aware of.

have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not in the traditional sense, but I've definitely borrowed from some of thesschesthair's stream of consciousness before (particularly for Savage Garden.)

what's your all-time favourite ship?

Captain Swan, easily.

what's the wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

As far as things I started publishing...Untitled Monster Loving Fic is probably the only one. I have an idea for how I want it to go, but I kept getting stuck rewriting Killian's backstory so it's just been chilling.

what are your writing strengths?

Hmmm...Dialogue, maybe? That's at least what comes to me easiest. I've been told my worldbuilding is good but it could be better.

what are your writing weaknesses?

Probably descriptions. I can see things vividly in my head but that doesn't always make its way to the page (or, on the other side of that, I sometimes worry I'm too thorough in that regard and the details bog down the flow).

thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for fic?

Only if it's a language you're at least conversational in. Otherwise, be prepared to be called out by a native speaker.

first fandom you wrote for?

I want to say I started a Sabrina, the Teenage Witch story when I was a kid, but never finished it. OUAT is the first one I've ever published anything for.

favourite fic you've ever written?

Either Savage Garden or Sons of Love and Death. But I've put a lot of me into all my stories so it's hard to pick!

tagging: everyone that B tagged, @cocohook38, @kmomof4, and whoever wants to do this!

[ofieugogyshz]

😜🏅☀️ for the fanfic ask game <3

😜 Describe a current WIP without using character names. (Points if your followers guess who the fic is for.)

hold up i have to have wips that aren't about me and lance for this to work here-- for some reason my dumb ass went "ah, yes, a selfship- specific meme" and didn't fucking READ the preface right.

(i mean, i do have some, but almost no one here would know the original context. almost. ) (as in, they aren't selfship related fics)

🏅 What is the fic you’re most proud of?

so many but i think this one comes to mind most easily bc it was one that i spent literal days on and had the most help with @mochavaporeon , for both shenanigans and editing. (also it was a snowball. a really BIG snowball)

ALSO, it was the longest thing i had ever written for one story, so it has that achievement on top of it.

☀️ Has anyone ever left you a comment that made your day? What did it say?

anytime someone has Teh Feelz during their liveblog reaction of my fics. i absolutely live off your their that pain. my favorite was this one person who got to read all my qb fics, and you could basically FEEL them writhing in their feelz over the shit she did in fics. fucking. 👌 delicious shit. chef's kiss. (i do not recall their url offhand and i haven't been able to talk to them in literally or almost a decade? :( )

[alternia-confessions]

lmao? okay ii guezz ii can zpiill. the guy gettiing all the zhiiz done iiz a lowblood whiich iiz rlly funny to me. doiin hiighly iillegal treazon ztuff whiile beiing liike one angry viiolet from beiing culled at all tiimez. iitz liike a power thiing. pumpiin iillegal hiighbloodz iinto iimzelf to feel ztronger. zaiid he wanted to iignore the cazte zyztem and rule hiimzelf. ziigh. iif only ii could report thiiz guy wiithout gettiing otherz iin trouble. the zciientiizt behiind thiiz iiz a geniiuz who dezervez to further theiir ztudiiez. worzt part iiz that ii would be culled liike eiight tiimez over becauze ii helped them iin such a way that the world blazphemy can’t even cover. even wiith all the blood criimez iid be the mozt fucked. not even wiilliing to detaiil iit wiith all my cyber zecuriity becauze iitz that fuckiin bad. unlezz ii got liike a phone not made by a Troll and chiilled iin zpace to zubmiit iit maybe.

lmao iit all feelz zo comiical of courze iim The dramatiic hiighblood makiing thiiz about me. anywayz lowblood iillegal blood miixiing criimez okay? thaz juzt an affront agaiinzt nature. ii

um

ok briiefly iithought iiwaz piitch for them becauze of that but iitwaz baziic moraliity they triied to pazz off az me beiing a cazteiizt azzhole. ii get iit man The cazte diiferencez and all but YOUR BLOOD MAN YOU DONT RUIIN IIT LIIKE THAT OH MY GOG II DONT CARE THAT YOURE A LOWBLOOD THATZ YOUR NATURAL HATCHED BLOOD BROTHER THE MEZZIAHZ DONT WANT NO FAKE ZHIIT PLEAZE JUZT LET IIT BE II KNOW THIIZ ZYZTEM IIZ FUCKED BUT PLAYIIN IIN IITZ FAVOR WONT FIIX IIT. YOURE JUZT A WIIGGLER PLEAZE

zorry lol anywayz uhhh niice weather huh

•

Question: lmao? okay i guess i can spill. the guy getting all the shit done is a lowblood which is rlly funny to me. doing highly illegal treason stuff while being like one angry violet from being culled at all times. its like a power thing. pumping illegal highbloods into himself to feel stronger. said he wanted to ignore the caste system and rule himself. sigh. if only i could report this guy without getting others in trouble. the scientist behind this is a genius who deserves to further their studies. worst part is that i would be culled like eight times over because i helped them in such a way that the world blasphemy can’t even cover. even with all the blood crimes id be the most fucked. not even willing to detail it with all my cyber security because its that fucking bad. unless i got like a phone not made by a Troll and chilled in space to submit it maybe.

lmao it all feels so comical of course im The dramatic highblood making thiz about me. anyways lowblood illegal blood mixing crimes okay? thats just an affront against nature. i

um

ok briefly i thought i was pitch for them becaue of that but it was basic morality they tried to pass off as me being a casteist asshole. i get it man The caste differences and all but YOUR BLOOD MAN YOU DONT RUIN IT LIKE THAT OH MY GOG I DONT CARE THAT YOURE A LOWBLOOD THATS YOUR NATURAL HATCHED BLOOD BROTHER THE MESSIAHS DONT WANT NO FAKE SHIT PLEASE JUST LET IT BE I KNOW THIS SYSTEM IS FUCKED BUT PLAYING IN ITS FAVOR WONT FIX IT. YOURE JUST A WIGGLER PLEASE

sorry lol anyways uhhh nice weather huh

[tales-from-nocturnaliss]

A post about... autism

With the rise of the pornbot wave, I considered closing down my Tumblr. After all, I don't use it, except to stalk artists who create amazing BotW fanarts, and I can't seem to connect to any other writers, somehow.

I wondered just now if I could possibly have a use for it after all. I like for all of my socials to have a reason to exist; for example, my fb page is about writing and I post writing-related memes; pillowfort, I write about a whole slew of topics and it's become my homebase. Tumblr... is Tumblr. From my end of its world, I feel like it's a sterile place without community.

And then, I dunno, it feels like a lightbulb went off in my head:

Hey, what if I use my Tumblr to actually talk about something discovered recently about myself that, maybe, could help other people while helping me to connect to people like me?

What if I use this Tumblr to talk about autism?

I was diagnosed a couple of weeks ago, after a couple of years of grueling search due to a severe decline in health. In short: no one found anything wrong with me. Until I talked to a close friend about autism, with her thinking she had it. The ball rolled real fast in my head. From these first inner whispers round August to testing in November, January brought a conclusion: yep, I am in fact autistic.

I'm apparently the unusual sort (according to my results, at least!) who has real high executive and cognitive functions and a deep understanding of emotions - because, hey, I made it my obsession. That and writing tragedy and death. I live for the feels.

Slowly, I'm absorbing this fact as part of my identity, without making it the whole of it (I hate when people do that, with anything). Coming to terms with the fact it explains the little things that my brain can't cope with - putting my hands on dirty dishes, dealing with sharp, sudden noises, complex gender identities (to name but these!) - while also telling myself: sure, autism explains, but you're not your autism. I'm still an adorable trilingual Belgian writer of 42 who breathes Dark fantasy and writes feelz. That, is me.

But I do notice, more and more, how the people I best connect with... are fellow creative autists/neurodivergents. There's just a mutual understanding that exists by default and doesn't demand nor require explanation. It feels... relaxing.

And so, here's one more voice on the spectrum! I have no idea how much I'll use Tumblr from here on out, but hey. I'm not worrying about that right now. Not when a friend of mine passed away to cancer last week and, this week, another one tried to slash open his arm.

Did I mention I write openly and honestly about basically every type of topic? I guess I don't need to tell fellow autists. You know how it feels like to just... (over)share.

Now, I need to go back to my actual writings. But this felt good to write. Bottle to the sea!

[nelsonbeauchejason]

Wtf: diss aint blox & cert knot COD|WOW

…I mean, Kant u feelz tha Thundur

I love that Tom Sturridge saw the Sandman comics and was like "okay but actually what you can't see from here is that Dream is constantly on the verge of tears." He was like "you forgot to draw that part but it's okay, I've got it" and then proceeded to make the wettest most miserable version of Morpheus to ever exist.

[chloeworships]

I hesitated GREATLY before dropping this word. I didn’t re-record it. It took all my strength from me 😪 It was that intense for me. I need a few days of rest babes.

With that said I felt soooooooooo strongly the love and your pain 🩸

I want you to know that the most important part of this message is the COVENANT aka the PROMISE God made to you… to love and restore you and to give you peace. He’s not backing down from that promise.

I forgot to mention this message is also (once again) for someone who was “trapped” aka imprisoned. You yellow canaries. See the script below:

This love and friendship and gift of restoration is not just double but triple. Seeing Drake 3x was confirmation.

The Lord also sent me this to say that I should bless everyone who he says this message is for. I received a few names. I will tag them at the end. If your name isn’t mentioned it doesn’t mean this isn’t for you. God will confirm this PLUS I hesitated cause I saw some people are SUPER BIG MAD about your incoming triple portion. Why? Guess you’re a triple threat haha. SN. I should become a rapper 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I told my son my new rap name was going to be Drake and he bussed out laughing telling me I was plagiarizing and everyone would be mad at me 😫🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

It’s interesting the LORD showed me the gloves 🧤 AND in this message the hand ✋🏾

The colour reminded me of the jeweller Tiffany’s which is confirmation of this blessing of abundance. I do have another message regarding this so stay tuned.

I wanted to mention these ties, these bonds of love are UNBREAKABLE 🪢 It’s interesting because when the man’s hand was underneath mine near my stomach I immediately thought of this scripture below:

It also reminded me of Adam and Isaac who both were ready for a wife 💍🩵 I know this is something someone is longing for and this promise will be kept.

I also believe a reconciliation will be taking place for someone 🔜🪢 🔜

Some may not have seen your worth and some may have tried to break you but babyyyyyyyyyy, God is about to show them why he chose you and why you’re unbreakable. What didn’t kill your trained you to be a warrior.

You deserve what’s coming next and I am THRILLED for you.

A TRIPLE portion for your shame

Someone reading this is going to be a champion 🏆

Congratulations 🥳 and praise God.

Now imagine seeing this man 3x standing with his hands on his pocket. It was like this.

The Love is real babes 🩵😭

PS. I also heard “Build a Super Team” 😯

PPS. I have a confession to make, everytime I see PJ I am reminded of my favourite cousin who was killed. He looks exactly like him it’s frightening 🫣🤯😅 and it hurts like hell hence why later when speaking on this, it further messed me up.

Because my cousin is not here, I will pass on the blessing and love I had for him to PJ. I can’t bless my favourite male cousin so I will bless him instead whose life was STOLEN. Jacob took both Joseph’s sons as his own and he blessed them. I have been instructed by the LORD to do the same (I got a new cousin adopted into the family) 🤣

✨May the LORD bless him (and YOU) with everything you could ever want, including a long and healthy life to see your children and grandchildren grow up to inherit your LEGACY while building theirs. It’s going to be EPIC 😎

Congratulations PJ 🏀 God’s timing is perfect. I didn’t know until last night this message included PJ 🥰😍🥰😍

Love your ppl while they are still here.

I also heard “there will be no peace for the wicked” NONE… more on this later when I feelz better.

Oh I forgot to share these

Here is the article about HOW SERIOUS God takes his oaths, bonds and vows. Remember this before you decide to break one.

https://www.bibletools.org/index.cfm/fuseaction/Topical.show/RTD/cgg/ID/19685/Hand-Under-Patriarchs-Thigh.htm

UPDATE:

After I wrote this I had a vision of PJ with olive oil being poured all over him from head to toe and then I heard 🏺

“A new King”

I am screaminggggggggggggggg 🥰🥰🥰 THAT WAS QUICK GOD!!! But for PJ, it’s long overdue! It is evident the LORD has anointed him as he did David, a shepherd boy, to become King 🤴🏽 This is MAJOR

Somebody coming for LeBron’s throne? Hahaha 😂

They did y’all wrong babes but God gon do you RIGHT‼️

So ummmm hold up… do I get to be apart of this Super Team? 🤔😂😂😂 I will be waiting for my contract and my signing bonus 💰🤑🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

OH MY GOSH why did I have a vision of a Father Goat dancing uphill and all his baby goats were dancing and following right behind him. If this isn’t confirmation idk what is!!! haha 😂 God is HILARIOUS yall.

PPPS: Thank you babes for your love and support. I appreciate you especially to the athletes who have been with me from the JUMP (see what I did there 😅)

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

hey jalebi, it's nura!

despite your recommendation i ended up watching EJ bc i was SO curious to see just how bad it was and yeah.. what even was that lol. im glad that those involved in making the show had fun reuniting but that def didn't feel like IPK, more like a parody. i don't think ill have any trouble forgetting about this and not considering it canon lol

the rewind commentary (or at least whatever clips i could find on youtube) was so sweet tho, loved getting more insight into arnav's mind and feelings. as an introvert myself, i will always be able to understand how difficult it can be for someone like arnav to verbalize his feelings, especially in retrospect when you are filled with remorse for your actions. but on the flip side, it was lovely to see him also talk about all these moments and recognize that he was in love all along (which we knew all along but it's nice to hear it from him too) 🥰

now im rewatching clips here and there of IPK again and i think i know which might be my fav scene. it's during ep 182 (i think) when arnav is helping khushi with food the afternoon of akash and payal's wedding and the neighbourhood thinks he's a waiter. that whole sequence where he's just flirting with her with the bowls in the plate and him saying she can thank him later.. like i can't get that out of my head 😵‍💫 we don't get to see playful arnav too often (esp in the first half of the show) but this was def one of those moments that gave ME butterflies in MY stomach lol 🤭 like yeah we get more heated scenes than this but idk im stumped as to why i like this scene so much. am i crazy or is this a scene the fandom generally likes as well?

alsoooo i was wondering if you're cool with me DMing you instead of always sending an ask so that i don't have to send you such long asks and we can have an actual convo. if not this is cool too, no worries!

- nura 💙

Hey Nura <3

Haha I guess I made you curious enough with the amount of bad rep for it eh, lol. Regarding Rewind, true, we have to imagine we're getting a very deep look into Arnav's mind and I can see that perhaps after six/seven years he's gotten slightly bit more chatty about his feelz! Also, I loved it because it really felt like post therapy Arnav!

OMG THE FANDOM LOVES THE MORNING OF AKASH PAYAL'S WEDDING. It is soooooo damn beautiful. I really wanted more of those feelz T_T It's soooo precious.

Oh I love everything! Feel free to DM, send an ask, anything!

Take care and thank you so much for sharing your feelz <3

Love,

Jalebi

[ask-the-shorty-squad]

I bet Teru is all like "This the best you got? Wow you've really run outta ideas" ...

Hehehe hahaha!! Oh just wait until 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 secret, Teruteru! It's oh so delicious! And no its not that you ate your Mama..!! They all know that already!! Hehehahahaha!!!!

Oh, and if you Fail to guess correctly.. And I'll 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 when you fail. I'll kill the person who has that secret!!

Hurry hurry!! Choose choose choose!!!! Whos it gonna be?? Whos it gonna be??

"Someone here has an Admiration for Yayoi" and it isnt Kiyo..

Ah!! Maybe its Nagito!!!

I doubt its me. I do Admire Yayoi. But everyone already knows that.

I think it's a trick question. Yayoi is Loveable definitely. But Admireable.. Only Kiyo and Nagito would Admire him..

No hard feelz Yaoii! I dont mean it in a bad way!!

...This is quite troublesome.. Perhaps I came back at a wrong time..

I'm so confused. Who else would have an admiration for me?

[william-afton-positivity]

Bc like-

[sindumpster]

Hey brain,

I know you like getting your jollies from being a spiteful and petty asshole and love dragging me along for the ride but I’d really like to draw some vore rn so if you don’t mind shutting the fuck up for the next 3-6 hours that would be lovely, thanks~

[shannaraisles]

In Marcher Fields - Chapter 16

Poppy Hawke was never the daughter her mother wanted, the sister her twin preferred, the hero Kirkwall desired. They do not see the woman who stands between them and the chaos that threatens. No one takes the time to look, until she crosses the path of a certain Knight-Captain with demons of his own to battle …

[Read on AO3]

9:41 Dragon, Late Kingsway

"Head's up, Curly, little Hawke's on a mission."

Cullen looked up from his desk, raising a brow at Varric's unusual greeting. Little Hawke ... damn, that brother of hers. He sighed, leaning his weight onto one hand against the cluttered surface in front of him.

"Why didn't you tell me you knew where she was?"

Varric actually seemed surprised by the question. And why shouldn't he be? The frustrated lover would have cornered him within a day of knowing he had sent word to Poppy of their predicament. The concerned commander should have demanded answers shortly after she'd arrived. But this man, this version of Cullen Rutherford, seemed entirely new to him, an unsuspected weariness and pain that had taken weeks to come to light. The dwarf shrugged.

"She asked me not to," he said simply. "Hawke's my friend. Before all this, you were just a suit of armor she stuck to when she needed you. After that changed, well ... it didn't seem right to open old wounds."

Cullen sighed, nodding slowly. "Thank you." He tapped his fingers on the desk. "I don't agree, but I appreciate your reasoning. Where is she now?"

Varric looked awkward for a moment. "Went straight on to the Approach with the Warden," he said swiftly. "Alex is picking up supplies here before he heads out to meet them ahead of Xena."

"She didn't come back with him?"

Cullen felt that like an icy pick in his heart. Was she avoiding him? Was his presence so abhorrent to her now that even being in the same fortress was a torture she could not tolerate? Was he the greatest mistake of her lifetime, a mistake she could not even pretend to be friendly with?

"You know Poppy," Varric was saying. "Duty first, even if it hurts. Kind of like you these days."

The knowing look in the dwarf's eyes was deeply irritating, urging a scowl to make itself known on Cullen's face. He straightened, raising a hand to point at the rogue.

"Don't even think about it, dwarf," he warned. "I do not need your input into my personal life."

"Yeah, you need it about as much as Bianca needs a sheath," was Varric's response, rolling his eyes at the scolding tone. "Look, the Seeker's right. Inquisition needs Hawke - not as a leader, but she's a force in the world whether she likes it or not. I'm thinking you need to sort out what the problem is here."

"There is no problem," Cullen said from between gritted teeth. The last thing he needed was to be lectured by a storyteller who had woven the tragedy of Poppy's life in Kirkwall into a bestselling novel that had lined his own pockets with pure gold. She was so much more than the hero described in those pages, that two-dimensional parody of the woman he loved and who now no longer wanted to be near him.

"She hurts. She thinks and remembers and it hurts so much to think that memory will never be repeated for her. Elderflower and oakmoss, leather and metal, the rough tug of curls through her fingers; peace and safety in his arms, a place to be herself and no one else, the warmth of being loved for no other reason. He doesn't want me here. He's moved on and I am all alone."

Cullen frowned, dragging his eyes from Varric to stare at Cole. The boy wasn't supposed to come into his office - he'd already spoken to Xena about making sure the boy stayed out. There was too much in his heart and mind that he did not want spoken aloud. But ... that hadn't been his heart or mind, had it? Was Cole reading Poppy for him, even from so far away?

"She never said goodbye," the boy said quietly. "She never stopped loving."

"She -" Cullen stopped himself. No, she never did say goodbye, did she? His heart flared with an old familiar pain, the pain of her absence all the more acute because she could have been here if she had wished it. He shook his head, clearing his throat. "Thank you, Cole. But ... no more, please."

"I want to help," Cole murmured, wandering over to stand near Varric. "Why won't they let me help?"

Varric smiled ruefully. "Some things people have to work out for themselves, kid," he told the spirit-boy. "Let it go, all right? This isn't something you can fix."

"He worries and frets and never lets her see it," the boy said then. "Years and years of watching and worrying. He wants to fix it, too."

"Then maybe he should be allowed to try," Varric told him gently, seeming to understand who Cole was talking about. "We probably shouldn't be here when he does."

"He's here."

Cullen looked up sharply. He'd been trying to ignore their presence, but that had a slightly ominous feel to it. Cole's eyes had turned toward the southern door of the office ... Which opened to admit Alex Hawke, stern-faced and pinched from the cold of the mountain air.

"Interrupting, am I?" Poppy's twin asked diffidently.

I really need to keep some of these doors locked, Cullen grumbled in the privacy of his own mind, straightening from his lean as Varric grinned and ambled out through a different door with Cole in tow, leaving him to the tender mercies of his former lover's brother. The brother who had scarred his face just for thinking about loving her, and never truly approved of the liaison in the first place. Not to mention the brother who had torn her apart in more ways than one over the years, in not tracking her down sooner, in reveling in their mother's limited affection, in blaming her for the deaths of their family. No, there was far more to dislike about Alex Hawke than could ever be negated by his few finer points.

"Apparently not," he said, rather proud of himself for not instantly moving from irritated to angry just at the sight of the man. "What do you want, Hawke?"

"Actually, I want you," Alex informed him, moving toward the desk. "Specifically, to stop being a bloody gentleman and shag Poppy until she's happy again. Think you can manage that?"

Cullen actually felt his mouth drop open. "Excuse me?"

"Right, now I have your attention ..."

Alex drew himself up, broad shoulders tense for a moment, and Cullen braced himself for the punch he was pretty sure was coming. But Alex let out a low sigh, and his expression changed. The stern arrogance faded, leaving behind the face of a man who had seen and experienced too much, who could not change the course of the world for so many millions of strangers, but could change it for the one person in this world he loved above all others.

"She loves you," he said simply, holding up a hand as Cullen's mouth opened to object. "No, just ... just listen. She tore herself apart, leaving Kirkwall. She cried every night for two months. She says your name in her sleep. When we ran, she stopped living. In the last two weeks, I have seen my sister again for the first time in four years - I've seen her laugh, I've seen her close to tears, I've seen her connecting with people the way she used to. Now you could say it's because of Varric, but that's not the truth. She's never been without Varric, not really. Letters are enough to keep a person alive in your heart and mind. Poppy's alive again because of you, and if you don't pull your head out of your arse and convince her she's what you want, I really will break your head."

"If she -"

Again, Alex's hand rose to cut him off. "She's not here right now because one of us had to go with Alistair, and I wanted to be the one who stopped in Skyhold," he said firmly. "Because I wanted to have this conversation with you. We've never liked each other, and I doubt we're going to start now. She needs you, Cullen."

"She never lost me." It took a moment to realize he had said that aloud. Cullen shook his head wearily. "I don't know how to set aside four years of distance, Alex. I want to ... Maker's breath, I never want to be apart from her again. But we have both changed in that time, grown, altered. How can you be so sure that she would thrive if I were back in her life?"

"Because you love her."

That was it. That was the entirety of Alex Hawke's argument. No waxing poetic about what Cullen could bring to his sister's life, or what she could bring to his. Just the truth as he saw it, plain and simple. A truth that was, amazingly, absolutely spot on without needing any fabricated detail.

Cullen sighed, wishing he had a solid chair in his office. He was feeling the definite need to sit down, the complexities of the situation weighing heavily on him.

"I do," he admitted quietly. "I never stopped loving her. But why would you tell me this?"

The silence in the tower seemed to grow oppressive as Alex glanced away.

"The world is changing," he said eventually. "We came out of Kirkwall without close loss, after losing so much while we were there. By rights, one of us should have died in that fight at the Gallows, but neither one of us did. But this fight that's looming ... it feels final. Poppy's given everything, time and time again, for complete strangers, people who only know her as a symbol or a character in a book. And the world needs her. But if she's going to keep going, she needs someone who will love her, care for her, be her calm in the storm. The time is coming when she'll have to make a decision, and I do not intend to let her make it. I need to know you'll be there to hold her together and get her through, because I don't think I'll be walking away from that decision."

Cullen held his gaze for a long moment. He couldn't argue, not really. He, too, could feel the tug of events, recognize that they were walking a very dark path. He knew as well as Alex did that friends would be lost along the way. The thought of Poppy becoming a casualty of this conflict, when she had survived so long and endured so much ... it was a physical pain that throbbed at the center of his being. The thought of her having to endure the loss of her brother without someone to be her shelter from the storm stung. He had been that shelter, more than once. He knew her at her most vulnerable, at her most hurt. He knew her. And despite all the worries in his mind, the doubts and insecurities, he knew she still loved him, just as he still loved her.

Alex was right - the world needed Poppy Hawke. Cullen needed Poppy Hawke. But Poppy Hawke needed to be loved, cared for, looked after. She needed someone who loved Poppy above all else. And just maybe that someone was him.

"Don't throw your life away," he said quietly, almost smiling at the shocked glance Alex shot his way. "We may never be friends, Alex, but Poppy loves you. Losing you would tear her apart."

"But you can put her back together again," Alex pointed out. "You've done it before. I've seen it, don't forget. I need your promise, Cullen. I need to know you're going to close the rift between the two of you sooner rather than later."

"I can't make any promises on her behalf." Cullen sighed, tilting his head back for just a moment before returning his gaze to Alex. "If she'll have me, I will never leave her side again."

Alex considered him for what seemed a long time, slowly nodding in solemn agreement. He held out his hand, which Cullen took with a relieved nod of his own.

"The usual conditions apply," Alex commented. "Pain and anguish if you hurt her, all that nonsense."

"Noted."

Alex pulled back, still nodding absently before he pulled himself together. "Right. Well ... things to do."

He left by the door he had entered through, letting it fall back more quietly than it often did, leaving Cullen with his thoughts.

Poppy.

She wasn't avoiding him. She would have been here if Alex had not insisted on it being otherwise. She was walking into danger yet again for the benefit of thousands who would never know her for the woman she was. The good woman who tore herself apart in a dozen small ways just to make the world a better place. The woman who had found her way into his heart and stitched herself there so tightly not even he knew where he began and she ended. He couldn't deny it now, even if he had wanted to. Cole had confirmed it; Alex was certain. Poppy still loved him. Poppy still needed him.

And this time, he wasn't going to let anything get in the way.