#stop fixating and dO THE THING
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Being someone who read Under The Red Hood and came out with the firm belief that, for Jason, it's not about killing Joker, it's about Jason wanting proof Batman would choose him over the Joker (bc shelia chose the joker). Makes seeing any other media where it's all about just wanting the Joker dead is a teeny bit frustrating. to be honest
Jason could've killed the Joker himself, really, really easily. Jason kidnaps the Joker before the confrontation. I can't open my comic for a reference right now, but it felt like he had the Joker for quite a bit before the confrontation. He had him. He beat him up with a crowbar. He had every single opportunity to kill the Joker himself, but he didn't because that wasn't his goal. Make no mistake, he did plan for the Joker to be dead by the end of it, but do you see what im trying to say here
Edit: If I knew this post was gonna get 1000+ notes I would've tried to word it better or something, this was a rant I made on the way to the grocery store š
It's not about making Batman kill either. When Batman says he won't kill, Jason adjusts and goes, 'Let ME kill the Joker or kill me to stop me' instead. The test is all about Batman choosing him. The whole final confrontation is Jason's first death again. The parent, The Joker, and the explosives. It even ends with Jason unable to move as a bomb goes off right next to him again because the parent didn't choose Jason. And instead tried finding an option that'd benefit them and (consequencely) letting the Joker walk, again, lol, lmao <-in agony
#the final confrontation was basically his first death again#and YES he Does want the Joker dead#and it would've been really really nice if Batman was the one who did it#but when batman made it clear he wouldn't kill the joker. Jason easily switched to saying āLET me kill the jokerā to accommodate#because he Wanted batman to pass his test#he gave a test to dick too. and technically tim but it wasnt the family test it was a different one so it doesnt rly count#AFTER utrh and the reveal and the batarang you can go hog wild about it. i care less about it then#granted i do believe they make jason more scared of the joker after it at some point#i guess because hes a bit too willing to kill the joker and ive heard jason wasnt meant to live after utrh#my watsonian explain for that is he was so fixated on his plan he cpuld override his fear. or maybe the pit. either work#i prefer the fixation bc i dont like the explanation that the pit was the /only/ reason he could get all plan together and done#BUT THATS UNRELATED!!!#dc stop putting the joker in jason stories im begging you please please please. lock him in a vault for the next 20 years or something#it Cpuld be good and i understand. but also. after so long of people that dont know or go for jasons need for family and parents#that love him and he can trust#the joker starts to feel like?? hm. words. a cop out? oh haha its that guy that killed him woagh hes here#i bet you dont even know that jaybin got beat until unconsciousness by an angry mob#while asking batman to save him only for batman to have to walk away#anwya. where was i going with this#i think i got off topic#jason todd#dc comics#batman#ADDED AN EDIT. SORRY. this post has been haunting me it keeps me awake. what if people misunderstand#they cant read my tags where i ramble more depth. thisbis the only option#EDIT EDIT: hiii#removed the sentence abt jason having the joker for several days bc i misremembered some things#go read its-your-mind 's addition instead also#ok no more i wont edit this post anymore i promise
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. Ignore how inconsistent is I started it last night at 5am. Itās 4am right now and idgafffff I just needed to get the idea out of my head
#pleeease help me#my fave thing to do when I canāt stop thinking is to make it about my hyper fixation#I actually debated on posting this too cause itās kinda personal and very loose#this is for the five underthello fans out there#black butler#kuroshitsuji#black butler fanart#undertaker black butler#undertaker#othello black butler#underthello#my eyes were unfocused n my brain was turned off for this
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Any idea how more power solves the problem of being a good person?
With more POWER, you can protect your teammates. With more POWER, you can defeat the Aberrant criminals who kill and extort and farm children for Rapture. With more POWER, you can avenge Jaeil. With the right kind of POWER, you could reform the Aberrant Corps from a killer, his killer, into a true hand of justice. You could impose Goodness across the entire world. With enough POWER, you wouldn't even need violence to do it.
And on the smaller scale... POWER can erase your mistakes. Good? You could be perfect.
#oh sayeon...#my own thoughts on the matter are 1: i didn't actually like that line lol#it was too on the nose#i forgive it because of the great character moment afterwards... but only just.#2: i think sayeon sees power/her own powerlessness as a barrier to being a good person in practice#she can't do most of the things she believes are good as a relatively powerless corps trainee#pretty much all she could do was confront aberrant criminals and now juni is telling her she's too weak to do that#& if she tries people will die because of her#damn this is becoming an essay. so becoming strong enough to protect good people and stop bad ones is sayeon's immediate āPower = Goodā#and climbing the corps ranks to use the power she'll have at the top for good (lol. lmao even) is her long-term one.#double feature bc climbing the ranks requires power#3. BUT. rereading and she is HARDCORE fixated on jaeil. rn that logic is being co-opted into post hoc justification for her revenge mission#and then of course 4. her self esteem and using her power to wipe out any mistakes. but that requires further research#sayeon lee#hand jumper#asks
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snape deserved everything he got and worse. he was an incel creep and james was ALWAYS the better person by far.
gonna say something real crazy here, buck wild, just balls to the wall insane ā but what if they were both bad? what if itās bad to join a fascist hate movement and be mean to children as a fully grown adult and teacher, but itās also bad to bully someone and threaten to take off their underwear in front of a crowd? and itās bad to try to manipulate a girl into going out with you by saying youāll stop bullying her friend if she accepts? what if that part when james says he doesnāt like snape because of āthe fact that he existsā is in there for a reason? i know this is a really bonkers take, just cuckoo crazypants, to imagine that two people can be bad at the same time. and itās probably even crazier to suggest that it actually doesnāt even matter who is better than who, and that this whole argument is a pointless endeavor, and that trying to play judge jury and executioner with fictional characters is an unproductive and frankly dumb way to engage with media
#sorry for really going in on you anon but jfc please open your mind to the possibility#that itās fine and even good and interesting for characters to do bad things#stop fixating on what you think these fictional characters ādeservedā and start thinking about whether their actions make the story better#i promise youāll have a better time#asks#my posts#hp#severus snape#james potter#pro snape#<- so dumb to put that. iām āproā both characters because i think theyāre INTERESTING not because i think their actions are justified!#actually iām starting a new tag for this#the great snape debate
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oh yeah thatās fine yup this is fine THIS IS FINE!
NO ITS NOT, IM NOT FINE, NOTHING IS FINE, NOT AT ALL, HELP~š
(disclaimer: i know smoking is bad for you. 100% i get it. iām not glamorizing it. neither of us are.)
#but seriously (and itās very likely just my fucking oral fixation) heās fuckingāUGH#donāt smoke kids itās bad for you#āhe needs to stop being hot even when heās doing unhealthy things.#heās just so pretty with something in his moāwhoops#uhhhh#welp#so anyway#franks hands and his mouth huh?#yk i had made it out of my dumpster fire earlier this evening#but iāve just had to roll right back in thanks to you#frnkiebby#bucciaratibugs#frank iero#mcr#frnkiero#mcrmy#frnkie#mcr5#my chemical romance#my chem#ilhsm
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talked w/ a friend about this and wanted to post something similar yesterday after a convo i saw also
about people criticizing ttcc / ttcc fans for just... being cog fans? being cog centric? usually coming from people who only like the toons.
and everyone likes what they like! it's okay! but saying that people who like the cogs are horrible and support the bad things they do, is just blatantly wrong. i thought we knew that enjoying villainous and morally Bad / grey characters is... okay? it doesn't mean you support what they do. it's interesting to explore these topics.
i've seen many people just... paint anyone who likes the cogs as horrible because they're "apologists of x and y" and... i dunno. rubs me the wrong way! you do have a point and recognize the cogs do bad things, but liking them as characters means nothing about who you are as a person.
and this is not to say that people who are in toontown for the toons are bad. hell! they are right this IS toontown. i may be on the cog liker side but i like the toons! maybe ocs more than the npcs - mostly because i like my friends and the sheer creativity the toons can bring out!!
SO what i wanna say... i dunno. let's not point fingers...? let's have fun in a goofy cartoon game together??? also complaining about people liking VILLAIN ROBOTS on TUMBLR is kind of funny to me. do you realize where you are. but then again a lot of this i see on discord and in-game as well since i avoid things on tumblr... i am a sensitive little fella i avoid misty fight bc of One Really mean "Critic" guy i saw there and i have been shivering in my bootsies since. so you get me
but like yes ttcc is more cog centric but... that's okay? things could be written better and i still wanna speak on it, and i do thing the toons deserve attention and better writing... but the fact it focuses on the cogs isn't... bad? if you don't like how con centric it is you can go play ttr...? god forbid people have fun and explore the villain's side of things...? i'm not saying either toontown server is better or worse than the other... and everyone can like their own things!!
but like... people will just like the cogs and that's okay and it doesn't make you bad. let's all be friends okay? both sides may be going at each other's necks in-game and the cogs in fact do horrible things - but it's what makes them fun, and it gives the toons things to do in the game!! but we don't gotta !!!!!!!! i may be really sarcastic and sometimes mean in private but like that's me just privately sassing, deep down i think people should just... y'know..? enjoy things.
so yea that's the guzma / cathal thought of today. toon people cog people both people are all awesome as fuck and you keep doing what you're doing i love you toontown isn't toontown without you
#anyways omg god forbid ppl are cog kissers on the robot kissing website /silly#but like!! tt/r may not be for everyone and tt/cc may not be for everyone and THATS OK!! ur not gonna like everything!!#like i accepted tt/r isnt for me but its mostly bc they dont show cog health specifically and i struggle with these things but !! i#heard they are updating that so i might be able to play without getting bored / frustrated again ^^ i havent played properly in yeaaaars#i will still prefer clash bc fixation and?? i LIKE ROBOBTS....!#but tewtow is tewtow its all swag. the least toony thing u can do is bully someone for Liking Robobt. be niceys#like ya i admit im not perfect i also dont like people andhave so much one sided beef and i am sensitive to so many things and i complain#in private but at the end of the day its to make myself feel better and i KNOW to not engage and look away and work on feeling better#bc this stuff does Heehoo upset me bc Mental Health Probulem. but i know everyone should and can do their own thing and have fun#i may complain about (redacted ship) all the time and i dont get it at all but...? bro... just have fun... be free. im not here to stop you#im just not gonna interact as i should. good for both of us! joyous world! happy that ur happy!!!!#why complain abt ppl just Enjoying Cogs like that though................................................ do you not like fun#this is not at anyone specific#my friend did show me tags of a post anonymously#and i vague a person whos name i dont know ingame like A YEAR AGO#and a convo what happened in a server a while back. but its not anyone specific i just wanted to like. speak my thoughts#lets be frense... and if not thats okay lets not argue either then we all stay in our lanes
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listen i know that the star rail girls suffer from "same character design" but i got mildly obsessed with a bit of ruan mei's design because of one particular detail and that is:
it's this particular bit where the DNA strands are joined together by the plum blossom she's named after.
in order for DNA to be replicated, it has to be unwound by a protein called helicase which then allows for the reading of the DNA to create the new strands. I felt like it was fitting that like the plum blossom unraveling the DNA in her design, she's also trying to unravel the truths of the world and get to its essence.
#was it actually intentional? who knows! but i do like the thought alskdjfahl#like idk#helicase is the first step on DNA replication - it unwinds/unzips the DNA so that another protein can read each nucleotide and produce a ne#strand#in a similar fashion ruan mei does the same trying to unravel what makes an aeon or life or etc and tries to reproduce it#utterly fails but YOU KNOW YOU GET THE POINT#anyways i like ruan mei but i think she does the same thing that a certain other scientist does for me#where im holding my head in my hands like mAAM WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING STOPPPPPP STOP GIRL STOPPPPPPP#snow plays hsr#anyways i finished the first new trailblazer continuance (finally) and i have cats :) weeeeeeee#ruan mei#ngl i wonder just how many geneticist jokes are in ruan mei's design/abilities/etc#i would crunch on them if possible but alskjdfhal i probably shouldnt fixate#hsr#im just tagging these two for myself but its fine
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More 5M(+P) doodle dumping
#5miinust#stop saying things like OMG DO PEOPLE DO FANART OF THEM its already as embarrassing as it is#I donāt pick my fixations
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How its been going if I'm being quite honest
#Sorry this is ooc it's just how I'm feeling#My brain went 'oh? You're in the middle of the worst week of your life? Here's a random character to fixate on until things calm down š'#I'm back at the apartment btw#Severe thunderstorms here so they kept us in the air for an extra hour#But yeah I'm sorry I've been inactive and not chatty lately. Just going through a lot right now and it's taking its toll#I'm doing what I can just to keep myself from falling to pieces#On the brightside the paper work went through so she will be seeing the specialists on Monday if all goes well#On the downside I just can't stop crying#I can barely walk as soon as I got in I just collapsed#I barely slept all weekend#This is the first shower I'm taking since Thursday night#Haven't brushed my teeth either#I know I smell like shit I just couldn't be bothered#My hair was matted to my head#I felt bad for everyone at the airport but I just couldn't bear to be away from her longer than absolutely necessary#Cruddy rambles
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see neftoon zamora is a weird book with an ending that kind of undermines a lot of the ideas presented in the book, but i love it a lot and i feel like a lot of people were turned off by it because they find it odd that mike made himself the main character and i just have to sayā¦ theyāre notā¦ their spā¦ one of their main special interests is not mike nesmithās entire fucking pastā¦ they just think of him as the random monkee guy who invented mtvā¦ so they donāt get itā¦ they donāt get it like i doā¦
#the monkees#mike nesmith#the long sandy hair of neftoon zamora#not to say that isnāt a weird girl thing of him to do putting himself as the main character#also nez is such a fucking loser in that book itās so silly#neffie the trans goddess queen totes him around like a little dog while chatting with harouk and they have to stop him from walking into a#pole or something#he made himself a loser#but likeā¦ itās a very victorian thing to just stick yourself as the main character. i kind of dig it. heās exploring himself and his place#in the world/order of things. fine.#but people just donāt get it like i do lol because i see mike giving out snippets of his teenage years and eat that shit up i get so excite#mike and his big tall buff motorcycle riding girlfriend who is so so gender but also so so lack of gender#adventures of three queer people#iām crazy because today i wrote down a whole thing about how neffie and fucking star catcher from g3 of my little pony are similar#my two big fixations right now are neftoon zamora and g3 my little pony i donāt know why#itās such a useless comparison but apparently my fixations are centering around transgender demigod-like women who are a bit superpowered#and tote around a random layman that they see a lot of potential and talent in and show them the wider ways of the universe and#their own selves#okay iāll shut up now
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Coughs. Afternoon yall
#trips while standing completely still and falls on my face#i have got to stop drawing things i can't post. i haven't posted for so long. UGHHHHH#i do need to do work still also but like whatever#hope yallre well. i feel like another cereal fixation is happening to me rn i don't wanna eat anything else LOL#txt
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L'Lapin dƩchu
Akihiko in the style of Cabanelās LāAngeĀ dĆ©chu has been in the back of my mind for so long and i fianlly did it :ā)
#junjou romantica#Akihiko Usami#usami akihiko#happy birthday usagi ily#i dappled with the idea of making all the angels misaki#but i feel this is better as a representation of usagi before misaki's influence so they're all suzuki-san#i put this idea off for a long time because im not a painter lol#as soon as i stopped fretting over that fact and just decided to do my own thing it was fun#sorry i've been mia i was fixated on other stuff!#art
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I hate when I get into these phases when once I process through one thing causing me anxiety there's another thing right behind it
#we've moved on to ye olde ''what if i have repressed memories and horrible things have happened that I don't remember''#which...#like...#to some degree you have to go with a schrodinger answer. like... it's inherently not true#but the weird part is that I have weird anxiety when I think about certain family members bc of this#but when I'm actually around them it's no more uncomfortable than any family member you're not around often#so I'm like OH NO WHAT IF SAID FAMILY MEMBER WHO I HAVEN'T SEEN IN YEARS DID SOMETHING TO ME#BUT I REPRESSED IT#and like... a what if is just a what if. do I believe it? no. do I fixate on it and get wildly afraid? sometimes#also it's not even consistent sometimes I'm like ah yes family member I haven't seen in ages I wonder what he's up to#and then other times it's like I'VE HEARD SO MANY STORIES OF FAMILY MEMBERS RAPING THEIR NIECES AND STUFF#WHAT IF THAT HAPPENED TO ME#actually I feel like watching law and order SVU made a lot of these anxieties worse like that's part of why I stopped watching it#bc it exacerbates a lot of anxiety my mind tries to throw at me#anyway I do not actually think any family member has done anything and I don't actually believe I have repressed memories#or else I would have probably brought it up to my parents. I'm still like ''ooogh anxiety monster what if?'' about it tho#which is why we have philippians 4:8!! is is true? categorically due to being a ''what if'' anxiety ā nope!! okiedoke moving on#k I just needed to talk through this I'm done now#*I'm barely any more uncomfortable than with any family member I haven't seen in a long time#(tbf I'm generally less comfortable with my dad's family bc 1) no female relatives other than grandma and 2) I see them way less often)
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people who are extremely emotionally repressed and incapable of expressing their feelings are most of the time only capable of feeling and expressing anger, irritation and bitterness. and they HATE seeing people who openly express all of their feelings and emotions, and are emotionally intelligent enough to understand the complexity of emotions. they absolutely hate them and it evokes such irritation and anger within them, because even if they dont understand it themselves, they are envious of ppl who dont take emotions so seriously or see it is being weak.
#i think a lot of times people get angry with me for openly being able to express my thoughts and feelings#they dont understand that when i vent about something it allows me to release the pain and severity of it a little bit#while they walk around holding that anger that turns into poison and hurts them everyday#somehow it is my fault for not being ashamed and feeling like i have to hide my#thought and feelings deep inside#the way they do.#and that for me feelings and thoughts arent written in stone#it doesnt scare me to face my dark and unsavory thoughts#they arent all i am#but somehow they get angry seeing someone dare to express everything#but its totally ok for them to fixate their anger on a total stranger that doesnt even care to take their existence into consideration while#expressing their feelings and thoughts ie they arent even abt them#idk i just cannot for the life of my understand that mindset#if you see someone vent about their experiences and thoughts and feelings#and get so angry you feel like punishing them or harrassing them#there is like something deeply wrong with u emotionally#it is just so frustrating to have to be bothered by those ppl so often#because i will NEVER shut up#i will never cower. i believe in total freedom of expressing things#even if i have to be burdened and bothered by stupid ppl trying to sew my lips shut and cut my tongue out i'll never stop#it isnt my responsibility that they cannot cope with someone just saying shit#it's just sad that this will def ensure that i'll keep have my accounts shut down on any platform š#bc we dont live in a society where freedom of speech is a thing#and it will also make me very very very lonely bc not many ppl can handle someone who speaks openly#(plus im not a degenerate which many loud ppl are so i cant fit it w thm sadly)#but i've trid to keep it all inside and nod and smile but that just makes me....#have very very many homooo... ;))) cidal thoughts haha#cant live like that i'll explode#at least im glad i have my mom tbh#like very glad. she understands almost everything i say. im more extreme than her but she gets many things i say that others wouldnt
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tonight I go to bed grateful not to be in my bnha phase right now
#pickle pontificates#oh boy. i see stuff starting to blow up over there right now#i have many feelings and thoughts about that series and the amount of good it did for me cannot be underestimated#but i was starting to get a bit frustrated with it around when the war arc started#and i sort of fizzled out in interest#and i stopped keeping up with the manga around the traitor reveal i think#it's bittersweet because on the one hand i cannot say enough about the good it did me#it influenced my real life and studies and hobbies in kind of a big way#but on the other hand i don't feel great about the direction it went#and I'm glad I didn't have to be disillusioned while i was in the middle of fangirling and fixating and whatever else#I'd also rather not be involved in whatever discourse I keep catching whiffs of#seeing that was always the most exhausting part of trying to scavenge the fandom and i am too tired for that#yeah. i guess I'm just glad i got to spend time with it when i did and also that I'm doing other stuff now#watch me talk about media like it's my ex rofl#not entirely wrong though... pretty sure I have seriously and directly compared reading dungeon meshi to falling in love on here#and that's been the case with other things. i fall fast and i fall hard and then we have a passionate affair for a few months to a year#and then we amicably agree to be friends with benefits forever and I move on to the next one#(at least with stuff I really like)#bnha is more of an ex that I had a great time with who taught me a lot but I'm kinda only stalking them on social media once in a while#and they're sorta expressing some mildly concerning political opinions that I probably should've seen coming#but they really weren't that much of a problem back then so it's not like i could've really done anything about it#(this is totally different from the way i do relationships irl which is that i don't and haven't ever)
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I'm dedicating this post to update how much of my book I've written because while my internal locus of control has been popping off lately, I could also benefit from external motivation.
As of rn, I am on pg 169 (nice)/ chapter 35. I've been working on it for over a year so this isn't a nanowrimo thing though I wanted to do that but forgot like a GIT. But it sort of also is nanowrimo because I've been writing everyday for November so š¤·š»
Update 11.25.23: pg175 almost done with part 1/3 and oh god I don't want to say goodbye to my blorbos š„¹
#book writing#nanowrimo#I'm trying to finish it by christmas which is in 30 days and that's irrational I know but I'm irrational#I am going to make my delusions a reality wahoo!#I'm going to do bad things to my characters and not a soul can stop me š#If I write 8 pgs a day I can write 240 by christmas day if I don't stop to breath#this is almost easy for me because I don't have a social life so I can just hyperfixate#oh wait no I'm doing the hyperfixation thing again noo#usually my fixations last about a week or two so if I last more then two weeks we know I'm actually just losing it#š« š„¹šŗššŗšš¤§š¤§š¤ #I do not have an outline! Yayyy!#can i get a wahoo#CAN I GET A YEEHAW
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