#I guess my point is just that people don’t fall into that kind of dynamic by chance or choice

[mylowmilo]

It’s difficult to relinquish responsibility for things that really shouldn’t be your responsibility when the people around you refuse to pick up any slack. It sucks to have situations where you know it shouldn’t fall to you to do x task, but it needs to be done, and the people who SHOULD do it will not do it, and someone/something you care about will suffer as a result.

[essycogany]

Rare But Not So Rare Sonic Moments

Sonic Swooning Over Amy

So, Sonic’s been kind of the driving force of Sonamy recently. Let’s analyze that.

I’ll show Sonic having feelings for Amy in almost every media aside from Fleetway and the two cartoons she isn’t in. I’ll also present the “whys” in more detail then just “Amy calmed down.” While that’s part of it, I’d like to add my own can of worms. And possible headcanons too. Bear in mind I never grew up with Sonic, so forgive my mixed opinions.

While I love Amy having a crush on Sonic like the energetic sugarplum she is, nowadays Sonic’s oddly been the drive of their dynamic. Any examples of it beforehand? Let’s look outside of the games first.

Sonic X

This Sonic takes more time to himself. He’s introverted, so his feelings for her isn’t displayed as obviously as the others. In fact, most people think he didn’t like her in this show because of how much he runs away. He even manipulated her by flirting in one episode. In my opinion this show has Sonic running away from Amy more often than not. Hot take: Sonic and Amy never had a real conversation either. They don’t…talk like they do now. Unless you count,

“Oh, Sonic I love you!” “Ah! C’mon, Amy. Knock it off!” No, it wasn’t constant but still common.

From my point of view, the conversations were short lived to none existent. It was the same in the earlier games too. Compared to how they talked to other characters or now, you might be able to notice. At least until Sonic And The Black Night were he talks to both The Lady Of The Lake and Amy. The two would also have visual gags of Sonic getting aggressively hugged by Amy. Or Amy falling on her face while trying. Aside from one moment in Sonic Riders where Sonic put Amy in danger, it wasn’t good or bad. Just cartoony for lack of a better term.

Maybe I’m just insane. You decided.

Anyhow, their dynamic in X is clearly built on actions. Like Amy giving Sonic a seashell bracelet and Sonic giving her a rose. Those little things. While I do prefer them being able to hold longer conversations, I don’t mind how X handles them. But let’s get to Sonic’s crush. I assume in Sonic X Sonic is conflicted. He’ll run away from Amy or try to pull from her on most occasions and others Sonic would constantly hold onto her when he doesn’t have to. For a long period on time no less. Amy’s the same way. One moment she’d be head over heels and other she’s bashful. Goes to show how young they were I guess. I have no clue as to why Sonic liked her back because there wasn’t much to go off of. Except the bracelet moment or her general kindness like feeding him one time. She was a bit much to him and most characters back then.

It’s possible Sonic just liked her and that was it, but I’d imagine due to all of the hand holding and small reciprocated gestures were enough to convey something was there. Straight forward and simple like the show itself. I headcanon this Sonamy being where the boyfriend gets dragged into a relationship and is fine with it. This version of Sonic’s attraction seems to be chaotic pink hedgehogs apparently.

Sonic Boom

Should I even explain it? Might as well because not only do I have something different to say, but these two haven’t been brought up much. Sonic and Amy’s romance mostly is played for laughs. Not saying their love for each other means less because of that, but the humor is the main reason they exist. Much like why in the main canon they started out the way they did. Regardless, I’ll dive deeper into Boom!Sonic’s affection for Amy to the best of my ability.

Boom!Sonic is egotistical, so whenever he thinks Amy’s crushing on someone else, it bothers him. Apparently he’s the only one she’s allowed to like. No “Radical Speedsters” or “Celebrities” can take her attention away from him. Like in Sonic X he tries to keep his crush to a minimum. Even though both him and Amy are terrible at it.

The moment in “Fortress Of Squalitude” a episode where everyone is a bit rude to Amy, close to the end Sonic says, “We may have a hard time saying it Amy. But…well you know.” Then she responds with, “Yeah, I know.” It’s such a sweet moment. Not as powerful as most moments with them but for Boom it’s very nice. Sonic and the others still value her as part of the team, but it’s Sonic who expresses it out loud. Goes to show how much he cares about her for even attempting to open up in this instance. Didn’t even have to finish the sentence. Amy understood perfectly. I also noticed how much he tries his best to impress her. When he needs to return her book back, finds her hammer in Archie, (Vector did it in the show and Sonic got jealous) shows off randomly or dreams about her, and stopped racing to get her some eggs in one episode.

The funny thing about this Sonic is how much of a people pleaser he can be. Especially since the towns people are very spoiled and ungrateful. He wants to be needed and that’s possibly why he goes out of his way to do special things for Amy like go out on picnics, implied dates, and comforts her. She’s very take charge in Boom and Sonic has no problem calling her out when he needs to. Much like Amy in the show and games. Sonic will even put effort into doing things he doesn’t feel like doing for her. How honorable of him. Sure, sometimes he tries to make her jealous and isn’t perfect, but he tries. I believe Sonic likes Amy because again like Sonic X Boom isn’t canon, so more outright reciprocated feelings are allowed in this case. Not to mention the dude likes being shipped with her in the show. Which is a win in my book.

Sonic enjoys bugging Amy much like a playful boyfriend. He probably admires her leadership, but I’m saying this by observation. It could be for anything. Maybe he thinks she’s cute when she’s mad and finds her temper amusing. It could also be for her stubbornness. Some people like each other because of how much they can relate to their partner and in Sonic Boom’s case they’re two cuts of the same cloth. Although still different, due to the show’s theme, they carry the same condescending, slightly self centered, hotheaded, stubborn, and humorous traits. But they’re still good hedgehogs with a heart of gold and usually makes reasonable decisions. Not to mention they’re both equally shy about their crushes. In Sonic Boom, Sonic and Amy is that married couple who doesn’t get along much, but when they do you’ll understand why they stay together.

Reboot Archie Sonic

I haven’t read the comics (unless you count watching a few dubs and internet reviews) but I’ll give my limited thoughts. Luckily there’s not much to say. Although most people believe it was unintentional, I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch that someone from Archie thought it was a fun idea to have Sonic crush on somone in this reboot. Maybe it’s unintentional but it doesn’t seem that way.

I’m basically using this part of the post to ramble about how Reboot Archie’s Sonic still manages to be a casanova. He’s like a mixture of his old self and how he is in the games. That’s also why he acts the way he does around Amy. Could it also possibly mean he’s meant to like her canonically too? Reboot Archie did have to follow a more accurate way of writing Sonic after all. Anyways, let’s run down the list of Game!Sonic if he was allowed to be down bad for Amy like they’re already dating. Which is how I view this continuity. It’s basically if Boom and X had a weird fusion and this version of Sonic’s crush was the result. Except here he manages to be more bold and upfront. He knows what he’s doing. Here’s a run down.

First of all, THIS. No joke, more of these interactions would send me to the moon. I would explain why but the panel speaks for itself.

Sonic says, “I was worried about you.” Which he hasn’t admitted to her before this to my knowledge. He states this by giving her a side hug. Along with other out of nowhere physical affection and flirting. Not to single out Sonally fans. Sonic and Sally clearly have a close connection people appreciate and I respect that. In any case, Sonic and Amy in Reboot Archie also matches energies so much. They’re both clearly running off the same brain cell. You’d think they were together. They’d be a chaotic couple that’ll do the most outlandish things and somehow manage to survive them. After willfully risking their lives they’d do it again because being normal and safe is boring. I promise you, this version of Sonamy would be a huge force to be reckoned with.

-I’d also like to mention my friend Salty showed an example of Sonic being jealous of Knuckles coming with Amy on a mission and it’s brilliant. Dude gets all bratty about it too. Archie!Sonic does not play around. The post in question.

Sonic Prime

Already talked about this in another post, but I want to mention it again. Prime!Sonic is the most sensitive version of the character, so it’s no surprise he displays his admiration for Amy freely and out loud.

This moment says enough on its own. Sonic’s like this throughout the entirety of Prime and even changes the tone of his voice when speaking to or about her. It’s so authentic and adorable and makes him stand out against other variants.

Amy’s crush on Sonic in Prime is up to interpretation, but I don’t think she likes him in that way personally. Like other characters, Amy tends to be done with Sonic’s childishness. Guess she thinks he’s probably too immature to be boyfriend material whether she has feelings or not. Sonic on the other hand, acts how you wouldn’t expect. I personally see him as his own interpretation, so I’m fine with it. If he wants to have goo-goo eyes for Amy in Prime, it’s cool.

Prime!Sonic has it bad and I wouldn’t be shocked if he’d be the one wanting to go out on dates. Maybe he’d cook dinner for her sense he cooks in the show. I’d imagine Amy declining at first, but does it after his constant begging. They’d be swapped version of most emotional to least emotional. Prime!Amy would be a girlfriend who feels more like a parent than a partner.

Unleashed/Black Night

No one can bring up Sonic Unleashed without the lovely Amy meeting the Werehog scene. I love how Sonic didn’t like Amy hugging him, but right after she left he solemnly mopes around for probably the first and last time. He’s never in any game slowly moped around disappointedly before. Proving he only has certain reactions when it comes to Amy Rose. At least in some continuities. Unleashed gives you a choice to go on a date with Amy or not. Then the next game Sonic Team followed through with it, but ended up having Amy mad at Sonic for missing it. At least Sonic tried. Not to mention his reaction to The Lady Of The Lake and him flirting is fun to watch.

See how Sonic still likes her back but it isn’t because she’s “calmed down?” She’s still the same excitable love strucked Amy. There must be something more to it. Other than the obvious answer with Sonic Team wanting to do something with the pear. I have no idea why but having multiple hints even in the past must’ve been done for the fun of it. “We created this love interest but then railed back to Sonic not reciprocating her feeling. But we still want to market them as a couple in some way.” This franchise never cease to confuse me.

Amy encouraging Sonic in one of the cutscenes could’ve been where he started liking her back. Not in the way he does now, but he admired her none stop compassion and might’ve wanted to return the favor. “Eh, she’s sweet. Maybe a date won’t be so bad.” The fact he went out of his way to get her a chilidog and flirted with a different version of her should tell you enough. Of course it would take a while before anything else happened. 

IDW/Sonic Frontiers

Yeah, after issue 2, Sonic’s never felt the need to run from Amy. From the comics to Sonic Frontiers there’s a lot of moments of Sonic being somewhat emotionally candid. Not by much, but close. I believe Amy’s the reason for that in a way. Sonic’s not afraid to hang out with her anymore. He even hugs her back on some occasions. “Ames” was a nickname from fanfics and Boom which became canon over time and he occasionally calls her that.

Sonic wishes to share an umbrella and spend more time with her. He also gets excited to see her more often. It’s like Reboot Archie but slightly toned down. At least up until the hard to trigger lines from Sonic Frontiers. The same game where he outright admits to being worried about Amy and smiles back at her with a Coco looking between the two. Then he supports Amy’s decision to leave etc. We all know where we are now.

Crazy how the more you look into this franchise the more tiny details you notice. It’s also crazy how much Sonic’s been into the love interest he originally was already supposed to love. To me, Sonic had a crush on Amy in Unleashed but fell in love with her in IDW. What makes Sonamy gripping though is how unique it is compared to most romantic relationships. Leaves it to be more entertaining whenever something unexpected happenes. It keeps you engaged.

Why Sonic Crushes On Amy?

1. Amy doesn’t want to slow him down. Obviously because of IDW issue 2’s love confession with Amy saying “I can’t change you. I don’t want to change you.” Amy joins Sonic and he includes her more often because of that. His speed is no match for her persistence anyways.

2. She shows compassion and love for those around her. Not just to Sonic, but everyone. She’s the definition of soft hearted. Even for people Sonic and his friends would be weary about. Think about now in the recent comics and games where Sonic’s trying it out. I do think it should be more of Amy’s thing then Sonic’s but it just goes to show how much she probably inspired him. Who knows? Even in the past he had respect Amy for her tenderheartedness.

3. Amy’s energy matches Sonic’s. Though sometimes she can be overly enthusiastic compared to him. Even before now, Amy’s always been adventurous and that’s probably something Sonic liked from the start. Not in a romantic way, but in a respectful way. If he were to have a partner he’d need someone to keep him grounded and be on the same level. No exceptions.

4. Her loyalty. No matter what Sonic does (including times she disagrees) she’s one of Sonic’s most loyalist companions. Obviously other characters are too, but Amy has her being a long time childhood friend/Sonic 06 and Unleashed going for her. 06 for trusting Sonic over Silver and Unleashed for still loving Sonic despite his transformation. Heck, before she knew who the Werehog was she wasn’t disgusted. Amy’s commendable for that.

From all these points here physical attraction isn’t included. What I like about both characters is their crushes don’t stem to how they look. Though it is worth mentioning Sonic has called Amy “Radiant” in TMOSTH, but that’s probably the closest we’ll ever get to an outright physical compliment. From Sonic at least.

- Side note thanks to @saltynsassy31 again, Sonic and Amy’s dynamic can be summed up as not a relationship but rather a situationship. Yes, it’s a real word. What does it mean? Basically two friends who has crushes on each other but doesn’t do anything about it. Just a fun detail for you guys.

Why Did Sonic Run From Amy In The Past?

I’ll make this quick, but the reason Sonic ran from Amy wasn’t because he didn’t like her. On the contrary. Sonic always could’ve ran at his normal speed to get away from her. Sonic’s the fastest thing alive. Why would he let someone he “didn’t like” catch up to him? I personally think he enjoyed the thrill of the chase. It’s why I believe he misses it nowadays. Though I do understand Sonic didn’t often treat Amy like a friend. Not in a way I can understand at least. Not that I think their relationship was bad, but from what I’ve seen, it was more told then shown due to Sonic and the gang not including her on missions. Amy normally had to catch up with them which was a running gag. Especially in SA2. It might be why some prefere her in stuff like Reboot Archie, Boom, IDW, and Frontiers. Because Amy’s friends includes her on adventures now. At least in my opinion. Correct me if I missed anything.

Final Headcanon

Since Sonic in the games has been the one to push the Sonic side of Sonamy much more then Amy does for herself, I’d like to think in most cases (especially as their dynamic grows) Sonic would start carrying other versions of him traits like trying to mess with her.

He’d want to get her to chase him more often and Amy would probably ask once or twice, “What’s going on and why are you acting weird?” He’d definitely play it off as him fooling around. Sonic doesn’t know much about romance, but he does know what Amy likes. Maybe he’d ask her out or go on a bunch of traveling missions. Anything to get her to pay attention to him again. After all, there’s been examples of the guy feeling ignored by her in and out of canon. It’s possible.

-There’s also a consistent detail where Sonic’s finally ready to open up but has to deal with Amy doing her own thing. Or when he’s face with different variants of her, he’s flirtatious with them. For the fastest thing alive, he has terrible timing when it comes to making his mind up.

Conclusion

Welp, there you have it, darlings. Examples of Sonic crushing on Amy more than some would think. It’s a Sonic character analysis and Sonamy post all in one. I know there’s more, but I think this gathers examples from the actual content.

Stay Creative! 💜

[maudie-duan]

Summary: What happens when the man you've loved since childhood decides he's ready to settle down, but it turns out you are no longer his forever. How would you cope with the sudden engagement? For Blair, it's a hard pill to swallow, knowing that the beautiful girl smiling in all his pictures will get her forever. I guess it's a blue Christmas this year.

A/N: I have to make a confession: I hate Christmas music, but the first time I heard Sabrina Carpenter's 'Cindy Lou Who' I knew this was my kind of Christmas song. I love a sad song, and this song feeds my "angsty soul," So please give it a listen before you read. This whole story is my interpretation of the song. Hope you like it. Happy Holidays enjoy!!!!

Requests: Here

Word Count: 6K

Warning: Mentions of Sex, Strong Angst and Langue, Family Dynamics, Mentions of Pregnancy, Heartbreak.

I don’t think sneaking my ex-boyfriend out of my parent’s house is the best look for anyone on Christmas morning, but technically, it’s still Christmas Eve if you haven’t gone to sleep yet, right?

To be fair, he was the one knocking on my window, stumbling his way to my bed. Casually, bringing up the past, circling back to things I thought I had already unpacked with my best friend after I scrolled his girlfriend’s social media, backtracking five years, to be honest, she had me broader line obsessed.

He made his way to my bed and in between my legs, touching place and sharing space in the best way we knew how, and that’s the funny thing about having history with someone—sometimes it makes it harder to say no when it’s knowingly what you want the second they step foot into a place that once served as a sanctuary to you both—a garden where words weaved trust, that turned into secrets, carving out a space of our very own; a world that we created and while he wasn’t my first kiss he was everything else.

I’ve lost track of how many times our words of forever were passed between our mouths, tangled in shared breaths of “I swear until the day I die, I’m yours.” When you’re young, you believe it because it’s all you have—and we took that with us when we thought we were ready for the world—two foolish kids on an endeavor to forge these grown-up dreams of a grand gesture without a second thought, only relying on the word “love,” like love could weather any storm.

The hardest lesson we learned was that love isn’t always enough. Sometimes, you can love someone with all your being and forget that they’re not a possession—but a person. Was that our mistake? I don’t know, but we wanted to be our own people at some point and find ourselves outside of only identifying as “we.” 

Let me tell you, that’s a hard pill to swallow, and from time to time, I still find myself choking on it, especially when it is obvious we still click—we didn’t need sex to know that we still worked, fit together like a puzzle that had been forgotten, and dusted off, only to find that you still had every single piece. Still, when Harry tried to kiss me goodbye, I pulled away.

“Hey—what is it…tell me?” he asks

“Nothing…it’s just late. You know how my mom is about Christmas morning.” I lie because the reality of his leaving is starting to sink in. I’m not ready for him to leave, but we both knew that there would be an ending to this.

He laughs, attempting to shrug his jacket on, and I glimpse the joy of the familiar memory dance across his features, “Yeah, she can be kind of crazy, right?”

“Yeah—but not any crazier than your mom,” I laugh. 

“Hey now—actually…you know they kind of feed off each others crazy…” He says, fighting to find the sleeve of his jacket, and when I reach to help, something falls from his pocket, a loud thud clashing against the hardwood floor. I look down, thinking he knocked something off my shelf, but then I see it.

We both stare at the ground, a small box lying in the space between us, “You shouldn’t have…” I declare, bending down—Looking back now, I don’t know what I was thinking—You know this tends to happen when you rely on your wit to get you out of awkward situations. I thought it would be cute and clever. I would open the box, and it wouldn’t be exactly what I knew it was—a ring, but not just any ring—the ring.

“Hey—hey—hey…give me that,” He jokes, trying to turn it into a game, but I’m in too deep to give it up. I can only focus on getting a peek at the ring, which is now a broken promise, and right this second, I’m desperate enough to open this box—basque in the feeling of the “what if” this was mine.

I turn away, shoving his hand out of the way, compulsively straining to get a look at this ring, immediately getting aggressive when he tries to reach over my shoulder. “Stop Harry—” I urge.

“Come on, Blair—this isn’t funny…” He says, unamused, but he’s too late, and as I shove my elbow into his ribs, the box is flipping open, the glint of the diamond catching the light of the moon shining through the window. He stops then because what’s the use, right? Here it is—the ring—perfect, everything I would have wanted. It’s almost like a slap in the face, like he looked back on one of the many pictures I sent over the years, thinking one day this would be me. 

The ring is stunningly beautiful. There is so little light yet it’s drawn to every facet; immaculate, precise cuts creating the perfect sparkle. There is nothing humble about it, but nothing seems to be humble about him anymore, including his life choices—and here I am, holding my breath, afraid to move, listening to his flustered exhale when I slam the box closed, a loud clap shut. 

Without a word, I nudge him away from me, “Blair, listen—I was going to tell you…”

“When—? Before or after we had sex, Harry…Is that what this was?” I yell.

He panics and cups a hand over my mouth. It’s not hard, but it annoys the hell out of me, and I wrench his arm away, forcing him toward the window, “Don’t you fucking do that—you don’t get to do that—”

“I’m sorry—but seriously, Blair, let’s not wake your family,”

I let out a dry laugh, “Oh—trust me, they would understand—” I seeth.

“Oh, for fucks sake, Blair, that’s not fair—I don’t know what this was…I just really wanted to see you—” he says, raking a hand through his hair, a deep crease forming between his brows, and he licks his lips, running a hand down his face as he turns away.

“What do you want me to do? This is the way it’s supposed to work out. You know my family …I don’t really have a say. You know that—”

“Please—Harry—you’re almost 30 years old. You don’t think you have any say in your life?”

He turns around, a condescending laugh filling the space, “You of all people should understand…”

“Well—I thought I did…but I don’t think I do anymore. It just doesn’t make sense…none of this seems to make sense anymore. I don’t understand how we could be perfectly fine one day, and as soon as your dad put you on the path to be a partner at his firm—which we both knew would happen—” I start.

He shakes his head, pinching his lower lip between his thumb and index finger, contemplating my words, “Help me make it; make sense. When we knew all along what the path was going to be. Were did “WE” get lost because I did nothing but support you, and then you went away on that trip with your family—”

“And you’re on about this again…” he interrupts, words cutting like knives because this was the theme of some of our biggest arguments.

I’m shaking my head this time, confusion inching through my brain, straining to grasp for details I thought I packed away. “Now that’s not fair…” I force, my throat burning with the effort of biting back tears. 

“Listen—this is my fault—” he says, reaching for the box, “I shouldn’t have come. I knew this would be a bad idea, but I just—”

I grasp onto the box, wanting to catch his eyes. I want to see the regret, “Tell me, does it hurt you, hurting me…I could have waited for your mom’s Facebook post…I know she’s over the moon with her…just fucking smitten that’s she’s everything and more—”

“I should go,” he says, his eyes darting to the window before he slides the box into his pocket. He opens the window, and the cold breeze flits into the dark room, reminding me of how little I have on. My eyes float to the bed, already mourning us like a fading memory—disappointment crawling up my spine, the sick twist of regret already tearing at my emotions as tears fill my eyes.

“Yeah, this was a bad idea…” I tell him, choking on the words, and I can feel my body starting to tremble. I want him gone, forever, to leave and be with his girlfriend, who will get him in the daylight. Who will kiss the mouth of the man I love for the rest of her life—and I’m sick—sick with the thought of them—and damn—This was easier when there was distance when I could pretend he didn’t exist.

“I’m sorry, bee—” He whispers, a slight trimmer in his voice as he reaches out to me, and let him because if this is all that is left. I want that last kiss. I want a kiss from the lips that were once mine, but when he pulls me in, I reach for his face, and he interjects, grasping my hands in his, denying me my one last wish.

“Harry…” I whisper, hot tears burning my eyes, “It’s just you and me right now…” I plead because he has that look of goodbye in his eyes; the reality setting in, like me standing here in his old tee-shirt, is too real for him—The cold draft of the air brings the world in with it. Yes, I feel it too, but his hands are so warm, his face is so sweet and kind, and I know what he’s about to do.

“Bee—” He tries, swallowing hard, like the words are stuck in his throat, tears drawing in his eyes, and he rubs his lips together, shaking his head as his eyes dart to our hands, and I grip his hands harder because he���s going to leave—he’s going to leave, and I’m never going to get his back; This man—the love of my life. There’s never a time he hasn’t had me, and he’s going to leave, he’s going to move on, and he will still have me because I could never let him go.

And when the tears spill over and fall down his cheeks, my body aches with a longing that’s so deep in my bone it hurts—my love for him hurts so fucking bad that I don’t think I’ll ever not love him or not want to be with him. He’s standing here breaking my heart all over again, and I still love him. I still want him always and forever like he fucking promised me because he did promise, and now she gets him; she gets to have my always and forever.

Now he’s pulling away, and I won’t let him go; I can’t let him go. “Bee…please…” he begs softly.

“I love you,” I cry out, “I love you so much, H—” and he pulls me into his body, letting me sob into his chest, my hot breath seeping into his body, and I breathe him in, trying to memorize our scent, but it there like muscle memory something I could never forget.

“You know I love you, Bee…” he breathes, pressing a warm kiss to the top of my head, “You know I will always love you, but you know that we can never do this again…”

His words slice through my pain, filling me with rage, and he’s right. We can’t do this ever again; he doesn’t get to have me like this and go back to her—and I’m so fucking mad at myself for falling into his trap because I’ve been so good. I can’t even remember the last time I talked to him. He knew what would happen when he knocked on my window, and I was so stupid to let him—yet here he is still wielding his power. 

“You have to go,” I tell him, trying to force myself from his arms, and Harry’s grip tightens.

“I’m sorry, Bee—”

“No—this was wrong—this was all wrong, and you shouldn’t have done this…we shouldn’t have done this—”

I push him toward the window, angry adrenaline a trimmer in my fingertips when I bring a shaky hand up to tuck my hair behind my ear, “You did this to us…” I tell him.

“I’m—” he starts, and I know he’s just going to try and apologize, but that will never be enough, not when I know what happens next—and what? Did he use me? Did he feel sad and come looking for my sympathy?

“Leave—” I spit.

“Bee…come on—”

“Leave!” I say louder, loud enough to send an echo through the room. He stiffens, his panic reaching his face, and I cross my arms over my chest.

“Fine—” he hisses, his hair falling into his face as he bends his body halfway through the window. Harry doesn’t even look back; he doesn’t even give me a tiny morsel of hope, and I don’t know what I was expecting. Then Harry is out the window, and I slam it shut, swiping the curtains closed.

“Merry fucking Christmas, you Asshole…” I breathe, falling onto the bed to cry. 

…

Here’s the thing about Christmas in my house: we wake up and celebrate, and nothing else is allowed. It’s the one time of the year when my mom is allowed to live in the delusion that everything is merry and bright. There’s no space to be sad. She’s up with the rising sun, her hair perfectly manicured, her make-up set for pictures, wrapped in a festive robe she just “rolled out of bed” in, and then she’s on to two more outfit changes. 

So this morning, when I woke, ready to welcome her joyful cheer, I was surprised to see none. I found her standing at the sink, my dad leaning against the counter like I had just interrupted a fight, maybe some disagreement they didn’t want me part of. My first thought was that they knew. They saw Harry leaving, or maybe my voice had carried, and they heard me arguing with him.

It was like being a teenager all over again as I walked toward the coffee maker to pour myself a cup. Without fail, the clink of the dish against the stone countertop ricochets through the thick silence in the room, making me jumpy; the slurp of the pour is interrupted when my mom speaks. “All I’m going to say is let’s get through this day. I don’t want to talk about it. We can call all touch base once everyone is gone—Bee, will you stay longer this time or not?” 

I’m in the midst of taking a sip, and the hot liquid hits my top lip, burning me as my eyes move from my dad to my mom in question, confused by whatever this is that I walked in on, “I wasn’t sure if I wanted to stay longer…I have a project—”

“Can you—?” she asks flatly like you better say “yes.” 

I look to my dad, who raises his brows, eyes widening, and he blows out a breath, his lip puffing as he brings his coffee to his mouth, “Fine.” I answer because it doesn’t seem like there’s any other option.

And that was it—She switched up her mood as quickly as the conversation ended. I stood there sipping my coffee, mentally preparing, and that’s how we carried on, pushing it under the rug.

It started with presents, each gift given its proper praise, mom all smiles, dad snapping pictures, my sister nudging my shoulder as a constant reminder to keep up the show, and it was perfect—it was— but every time the camera flashed. I could feel myself drifting to the thought of all the pictures that would greet me when I opened my phone—How her red lips and long dark hair would steal my breath, her beauty outshining us all. 

She became the jealous quake in my bones at the thought of Harry down on one knee, entrancing my thoughts, repeatedly threatening to pull me out of the moment—and now my mom is shouting from across the room, bidding for my attention, as I try and swallow the persistent lump burning a hole in my throat, making every word a battle of will to say the most straight-forward sentence—and it wasn’t fair; It wasn’t fair that I got to sit with it all day—a reel of memories cascading through my mind, always the slightest reminder to remind me of the past.

The smallest gestures, a deep-seeded pain strangling my insides; all my dad had to do was glance down at his watch. The watch Harry gave him when he turned forty or every time my mom tucked her behind her ear, I caught sight of the diamond earrings he got her and his mom, making them both laugh the last Christmas we all shared because that was our thing—it almost doesn’t seem real that our moms used to be best friends, nowadays it feels like a lifetime since they even shared one word, my mom growing bitter the day Harry broke my heart.

A sudden breakup can wreck anyone, and inherently, our families became the collateral damage, causing a complicated ripple through our families, a rigid divide that none of us knew how to address, let alone manage any semblance of a relationship; maybe that was our fault. I couldn’t be his friend. It hurt too much to try and mask my feelings, to manipulate them into something they weren’t, like right now—how I’m torturing myself, scrolling through social media, almost hoping I’ll see the pictures I know his mom will post. Perhaps it will be what I need; to rip the bandaid off, the right push I need to fucking move on because I don’t know how much longer I can live in the misery of what was and wasn’t.

Dissasoiating—the word of the day—a single word that could describe my whole day because somehow it’s dinner, and I’m sitting around the table trying to piece together the lapse in time I’ve lost. All it takes is one look at my mom to straighten up and be present. I don’t even know what they’re talking about, nor do I care, but when my cousin Jenny asks me to pass the potatoes, and the light captures the glint of her new engagement ring, my stomach drops, the hideous ache of jealousy climbing up my spine, and I’m sick again, my stomach turning at the thought, that maybe he’s already done it, maybe he’s asked her and she’s wearing his ring on her finger, and they’re sitting around the table; and every time she takes a bite it reflects the light from the chandler, everyone smiling because what a happy time, what a perfect day; what a bright fucking future they have.

This time, I can’t control it; it’s all too much, and I’m scraping the chair back, politely excusing myself, then bounding to the upstairs bathroom, yanking my phone from my pocket—and without a passing thought, I’m doing it—I’m calling Harry—by the first ring, I’m in panic mode, pacing back and forth, willing myself to end the call, trying to keep the phone from sliding down my sweaty palm.

I’m all adrenaline as I force the phone against my ear, the ring getting louder, and each time it rings, a gnarled knot of guilt builds in the depth of my belly. I keep looking to the toilet on the verge of falling to my knees and heaving anything that made its way to my stomach—then Harry forwards the fucking call to voicemail, and tears are spilling over my lids, my whole body hot, like maybe I’ll combust right here, explode with the fury of heat rising in my body.

I’m surprising myself when I press his name again, bringing the phone back to my ear, and I hold my breath, waiting for the first ring. It rings and then rings again, and by the third ring, I think I might get through—and it’s all a joke because yeah fucking right—By the fifth ring, I’m second-guessing myself again, shame eating away at my flesh, and then he’s forwarding the call again—my shame flying out the window.

Okay, yes, maybe this is the part where I tell you I should be embarrassed—but fuck it, I’m calling again, losing myself a little more each time he forwards my call. By the 8th call, I’m tormenting myself, a pitiful excuse of a human on the ground so caught up in my own grief that I don’t even hear my sister knocking on the door. The knock sounds, making my heart leap in my chest, the fear of being caught ripping through like an earth quack, and I’m up, catching sight of my reflection in the mirror, not even recognizing the person looking back at me. 

I haven’t felt this desperate since we broke up, like an anxious tick buzzing under my skin. The humiliation of it all is a time bomb, counting down the seconds until it ignites inside me—and I’m there. I ignore the steady stream of knocks and crouch down like the monster I’ve become because I can’t look at myself and do what I know I’m about to do—it’s my one last stance, and I shoot Harry a text:

“Your a fucking coward!” I send and then realize I used the wrong fucking “your,” and my pride won’t let me go out like this. I send a quick “you’re” to fix my mistake and watch the screen, knowing he is now more aware of his than before. When the line changes from “delivered” to “read,” I watch the tiny dots collect in the corner of the screen, awaiting his reply—they appear and disappear several times until it finally stops altogether, and he leaves me on read.

Just as I’m about to send “fuck you!” my sister opens the door, pushing the bobby pin she used to pick the lock back into her hair, and closes the door behind her. “Dude, whatever is going on right now—you need to get it together—it’s one fucking day, okay…that’s all mom asks for, and she’s down there growing impatient. So seriously…if you’re up here freaking out about another dude you met on a dating app—like this isn’t the time—”

“I had sex with Harry—” I confess right then and there because I know this will be the only thing that will make her understand.

“No—” she says, pulling a handful of toilet paper from the roll, “We’re not doing this right now…” She wipes the tears from my face and forces me out of the bathroom and into my room.

“You have two minutes to get your shit together. I need Mom to be in a good mood today…listen, I have big shit going on too, but you don’t see me up here crying—” and she’s right. I saw her pregnancy test in our shared bathroom trash. She must have been panicked when she half-assed her wrapping job on her test. I know I taught her better than that, but this was what I needed to pull myself back up.

I came down the stairs with a smile. Everyone in the sitting room was having coffee and dessert; this was the last stretch. This is all we had left, and then I can check my phone that my sister made me leave upstairs—and so I would drone on keeping up with conversations, tossing out witty remakes, bringing laughter and joy to everyone around, and when my mom sent me a genuine smile, I felt myself smiling back, enjoying the company of my family; and when dad slipped me the “good” eggnog I realized that there’s nothing better at taking the edge off then alcohol.

Four eggnogs in on an empty stomach, and I was working the room, exaggerating about my life and all the projects I’ve taken on at work, dodging questions about my dating life, and when my grandma brought up Harry four times, dammit, I didn’t even flinch, I just kept the conversation moving, filter out the emotions coursing through me like a breeze on a sunny day, right before a summer storm sets in. I even kept it cute and classy when cousin Jen took her engagement ring on a tour around the room, gutting me like a fish when she said, “I never thought I would get married before you…you know…like you and Harry were like “it” you know—” and I’m smiling again, getting a nod of approval from mom when she hears me congratulate Jen again, admiring her beautiful ring.

By eggnog five, I’m switching to “what he’s having,” I shout to my dad as I watched him pour, maybe whisky over the rocks, a shallow pour, but it packed a punch. I knew it was time to dial it back when I found myself leaning over Jenny, who was flipping between her social platforms, landing on Facebook, where I know for a fact Harry’s mom would be posting, taking care to tag everyone in each photo—which brings me back to the time when dear ole’ cousin Jenny started following Harry. It was Christmas break, we had just turned fifteen, and I could tell she had a crush on him. She spent all Christmas break following us around, cornering him anytime she could get him alone; I had to share my bed with her that Christmas, and I remember how miserable I was without the gift of Harry crawling through my window on Christmas Eve.

It’s wild to think of how feeble my grasp on time was when we were young, how a couple of weeks could feel like an eternity; it’s been less than a day since I saw him last. How am I supposed to go a lifetime of never hearing his voice again, to look into those green eyes that have seen me through so many changes, not to feel those hands that have cradled me like a child, held me like a lover, squeezing and pulling me into shapes that fit him; arms that carried and lifted me to heights that I could never have reached on my own—and maybe I speaking figuratively because no one has carried me at my worst or lifted me at my best until I was the best version of myself, but isn’t funny how the people that bring out our best know exactly how to rally the worst parts of us.

Mom taps her dessert spoon to her glass, grabbing everyone’s attention. It’s time for her big send-off speech. My eyes dart to my sister leaning against the fireplace, rolling her eyes, “I just want to start by saying I’m so thrilled that you’ve all chosen to spend this joyous holiday with us…you all know this is my absolute favorite holiday and every year I look forward to spending it with each and every one of you—” she tells us raising her glass, and everyone knows what’s coming next and as she starts her final lines— the same lines she uses every year—my sister sends me a wink mouthing the lines in unison with our mother.

“There’s no time like Christmas to let you know how appreciated you are. I feel honored to call you family…” and her hook, line, and sinker is, “May the light of Christmas warm your hearts this holiday season and remember love is the true spirit of Christmas—” 

My throat burns as she finishes, “And always know how much I love you and always will…so before I start getting too emotional, I better cut myself off—” she laughs, wiping a tear from her eye, and as much as I hate how crazy she gets about Christmas, she really is amazing at being so selfless; to give everyone such a beautiful day, and I’m so grateful for her and my family, and then the doorbell rings taken everyone by surprise. We all freeze, eyes moving around the room because we’re all here, and no one is expecting anyone.

“Fred—” my mom calls to my dad. “Are we expecting anyone else?” 

My dad’s reaction is slow, but he launches himself from the chair and excuses himself. When he comes back, he looks bewildered, half-tipsy as he shrugs his shoulder to tell us no one was there—and that was that. No one blinked an eye—yet my first thought was Harry, and I felt myself slipping because the whole day had passed; certainly, theirs was over by now, and the thought had me breaking my own heart, picturing her in his old bed, the whole family tucked away in their rooms, still riding out the high of such a magically joyful day.

And she’ll kiss his lip and say, “I love you.” He’ll lay her down in the bed I gave myself to him in, and he’ll make love to her like he loved me last night, and there is no end; there’s no end to the torture of it all because how can one person fuse themselves to every fiber of my being—and more importantly how could I still allow it?

As the last guest passed our threshold, Mom, being the gracious host she was, sent them off with candies and cookies, and I stood there wishing I was more like her, like my sister, who could always pretend, who knew how to wear “the smile” like a badge of honor. I wondered why this all had to be so hard. Why is love all or nothing? Why can’t we flip a switch and “poof,” it’s gone?

I watched my mom close the door, my siblings dispersing, and my dad already making his way back to his chair, but my mom just stood there. She let out a heavy sigh, her once perfect posture decompressing as she held on to the doorknob, “Oh Bee—” she said, eventually turning around to face me, and suddenly it looked like the weight of the day had finally caught up to her beautiful features, now tired—a mournful pinch between her brows, pursuing her lip while her eyes roamed my face. I’m trying my hardest to keep it together because there is something about that look a mom can give, that “I can fix everything with a hug” look.

“Do you need anything…I didn’t sleep very well last night. I was thinking of calling it early. if that’s okay?” I ask

“Oh honey, don’t worry about it…it’s been a long day for everyone,” she states, unbuttoning the first two buttons of her silk blouse, that mournful look still lacing her features.

“Let’s just deal with the clean up tomorrow…sound good, baby?” she tells me, slinging an arm around my shoulder, “I know today was hard for you…Thank you for being such a good sport. I’m so proud of the way you handled yourself. You did a beautiful job, sweetie.”  Her words catch me off guard, and I turn to face her, my throat burning at the thought that she knows everything.

I swallow hard, opening my mouth to let out the words building up, but I can only manage a small whimper. “Listen, honey,” Mom starts, and I’m already a puddle in her arms, wanting my mommy to make it all better.

“I’m not going to lie and say it gets better, but one day, it’s not going to hurt as bad as it hurts right now, and eventually, when you find someone new—” 

I gasped out a sob then, her words hitting every sore spot on my body, “Shhh—Shh—I know baby, I know—but listen,” She said, cradling my face in her hands, “I know that this isn’t what you want to hear—”

“But one day you will find someone new, and they’ll be just enough to get you over that last slump of pain, and maybe if you’re lucky enough…which I know you are…Harry will become a pleasant memory of the past, baby, because both of you were so lucky to have what you had. Not everyone will get to say they had a love like the two of you shared, and that is so so special, honey, so special—”

The tears are rolling down my cheeks faster than my mom can swipe them away, and it’s taking every ounce of strength I have to keep myself upright, “I love him so much—” I push past the sob, shuttering through me.

“I know, honey, I know—one of the hardest lessons we can learn is to let the people we love go, let them go so they can be free, and if it’s meant to be, they’ll come back—”

“I can’t, Mom, I can’t do it,” I cry, trying to bury my face into her shoulder, but she has a firm grip on it. Blair Marie, you are so strong, honey, and we are all here for you. You can do this, okay?” she says, nodding her head up and down.

“Okay?” She asks again, and I nod in agreement, “Listen—between you and me, we’re going to have our hands full anyway, right? Don’t think I don’t know about your sister—she’s next.”

I’m stunned into silence. “Yeah, I know. That’s how I felt at first. Honey, I love you. I am here for you. Now go get some rest…” she says, pushing me toward the stairs.

“Oh—and hopefully, we aren’t expecting any unexpected guests this evening….”

I shake my head, “I—” 

“Yeah, slamming your window at the crack of dawn is a dead give away—”

Somehow, she manages to get a smile out of me, and I roll my eyes, ready to make my way up the stairs, “Hey, Mom, thank you for making today so beautiful…it really was beautiful.” I tell her.

“Oh—! And Mom, thank you for those kind words. I love you.” she smiles, placing a hand over her heart, and we share a look of knowing—and without a doubt, that woman managed to lift my spirits—again. She’s too good at that; she is father fucking Christmas.

And while my heart still felt heavy, I felt like I could get through this night. I would march into my room, head straight for my phone, and turn it off; there would be no doomsday scrolling. I would take a shower, hell maybe even take a hot bath to rid myself of this day—Maybe I would even start packing away everything in my childhood room that reminded me of him, set myself up for the next year, and seriously, it was amazing how quickly the motivation surged up my chest; almost bursting at the seams with the very thought of it.

So by the time I turned my knob, I was ready, so fucking ready—But as the door clicked open, a cold chill grazed over my wrist. All I saw was my curtains billowing back and forth with the breeze flowing in and out of my window, and I rushed over to shut the damn window because I didn’t remember opening it, but maybe my sister opened it while I was fixing my make up earlier and that’s when I hear it:

“Bee—” 

I slam the window shut, panic rushing through me, every limb of my body shaking with it as I turn toward the sound. And there he is, the love of my life, sitting on the edge of my bed, hunched over with his face buried in his hands, and when he looks up. I can tell he’s been crying, and he pulls a small box from his pocket and places it on the nightstand, right next to the very same box that held his future, and all he says is, “I couldn’t do it—”

[hyperactivewhore]

Hey! I hope your having a wonderful day <3

I was curious to see how you feel about those stories where the OC is significantly more powerful than the Mikaelson Family? Like the ones where people just add the OC as a Scarlet Witch. I honestly don’t think any of the Mikaelsons would react very well to having someone significantly more powerful than them in their vicinity. As shown in quite a few episodes. Let alone one of them being romantically involved.

Hi! I'm fine, how about you?

I'm not gonna lie, these kind of stories are hard to read most of the time, especially because the powers these ocs have are practically never executed well. Why do they have that magic, who gave it to them, how do they even manage to live having that much amount of power? If people are so desperate to have their ocs be the next Wanda Maximoff, at least try better. Make their parents a god or goddess, perhaps both, someone like Thor, Loki, Freyja, especially considering the Mikaelson worshipped the Norse deities.

I honestly don't see any of them reacting well at all, especially Klaus and Kol. For a thousand years, they believed themselves to be the most strongest beings on earth and often were proud of it, knowing it meant they were "untouchable" and the few who dared to go after them were easily dealt with (excluding Mikael). We've all seen how they reacted to their parents, Bonnie, Dahlia, Inadu, Lucien, and all the people who came close to killing them, so imagining them having to deal with someone who is in Wanda level, who can warp reality and create life from nothing would be an interesting dynamic.

Trying to kill this kind of ooc would nearly be impossible, but knowing how prideful the Mikaelson are this would not stop them at all. I can see Elijah trying to negotiate some kind of truce should the need arise, and I can easily see as well Klaus and Kol trying to seduce her/him to put themselves in their good side if they've run out of chances, but this would likely be the last option considering how much it would eat them inside to have to "yield" to someone who tried killing them/is more powerful than them.

However, Kol was also absolutely terrified of Silas, to the point where he tried to kill his sister to stop her from waking him up, so it's hard to determine with him. It's very likely in my opinion, that he sided with this ooc if he got something from it, some sort of protection or escape from his family - but this alliance would prove to be very short, as all the Mikaelson are cockroaches who can never be truly away from each other.

Rebekah, on the other hand, is a hard guess for me too, considering how short her time on both shows was. Someone more powerful than her family, than her brother, who often abused her? Depending on which Rebekah we're talking about, I can see her trying to charm her way into this ooc's heart to have a defense against Klaus. But TO Rebekah would without a doubt stand with her family against anyone.

Any Mikaelson falling in love with this person, however, is unlikely to happen in my opinion. As I said before, I can see them - all of them, to be honest - making this person fall in love with them to have her/him "under control" or to have a secret weapon, but love is a very different thing from manipulation or lust. I can easily see them developing a toxic relationship that lasts through centuries if they do happen to fall in love, and being some sort of "frenemies" with the Mikaelson, but all of this is hypothetical, of course.

Thanks for the ask!

[dangan-stuck]

We're here, dammit. This is DanganStuck, and these are the V3 character casts!

SPOILER ALERT. This whole thing contains major spoilers for V3! 

So, this all started when we found a dead body in the Lab… 

Sorry, it’s an inside joke!

Hello, I guess? I don’t know what I’m doing, but here I am, telling you about the Danganronpa x Homestuck AU crossover.

I’m developing this project (?) with [ @happy6machine , @julia-bunncat ] and with the help of some other cool guys as a support team. Lots of headcanon material has accumulated, and progress in the development of the au has simply... stalled, and I thought I’d try to share it >_< because I haven’t seen anyone else doing something like this so extensively!

I’ll start with V3 (my current fandom fixation) and castes, I guess!! The choice for some characters was pretty obvious and straightforward (ex: olive cast for Ryoma and Tenko, purple for Kokichi, indigo for Gonta and etc.), others were more unusual options (violet for Kaito, whaat?), but I swear I have an explanation behind them :Ъ

But first, I’d like to make a small remark: We hadn’t set a specific lore for the whole thing. Sometimes we experimented with transforming characters into trolls during gameplay to see how it would work, leaving the game plot, killings, interactions and so on untouched. Other times, we made up certain plot snippets and events as if they all lived on Alternia. Occasionally, we’ve stayed in the session area (which we’ll discuss further), prescribing classpects, castes, quadrants, and so forth—all these options were considered.

Now back to the castes, let's go in order:

• Himiko is the weakest, slowest, and laziest member of the V3 cast. She isn't very bright, or at least she's too caught up in fantasies. She's also, well, red. I didn't see the point in making up something special for her, so I just put her in the rust caste. It also makes the dynamic between her and some of the other characters very intriguing, which I'll discuss later. Her desire to perform tricks can be interpreted as 'service/entertainment for the people', literally a jester for the public, which suits the lower castes. But what are the tricks? Well, rust and psychic powers, right? :D So Himiko has psychic powers, though not very powerful ones... And still calls it magic, of course.

• Kaede was a… difficult case. OK, my excuse: I wanted to include a representative of every caste (except Fuchsia) at least once, and Kaede got caught in the hot seat. But she's bronze for more than just that reason!  There's a joke that I'll tell you about some other time, because I want to hold its punch for a while. As it is, we're hooked on the scene in the first chapter where Kaede immediately falls on her knees in front of Miu (instinct of subordination??). Also, the music is associated with birds, and all animals are associated with the bronze caste. Of course, Kaede is extremely... feisty and enthusiastic for such a caste, but luckily she has many highblood friends—including Kaito, who stood up for her in-game, and if they were trolls, it would work perfectly ;)

• /heavy sigh/ Keebo.

I originally drew this art [link] when my friends and I were just starting to get through V3, and I just liked the sort of black dynamic between the three of them. I didn't think much about the castes at the time, but ironically they haven't changed.

There are some problems with Keebo, because he's obviously a robot, and I want to keep him as a robot in this AU. The most realistic option is that Keebo is a prototype for a new kind of drone to be used on spaceships. After all, he is an advanced AI imitating a troll, so it makes sense to give him some blood color. Gold blood is often associated with the "trolls are used as batteries on ships” theme, and Keebo was literally created to maintain ships. It's... a bit of a stretch, really, but that's all we have for now. I think the lore will be expanded upon in the future.

• Korekiyo. Giving him gold blood was sort of a joke at first, playing on the fact that Korekiyo, like Sollux, has a point that grants him duality—his sister. However, as we fleshed out the lore, the choice felt increasingly fitting. I'll be writing separate posts, probably more than one, to outline his lore because, folks, this is FIRE. I never particularly liked Kork in the game, but now- hell, I LOVE him. Have pity on the poor boi; he's suffered a lot.

• Ryoma and Tenko. Since they both get the olive caste on the same principle, I will combine them. Guys, It's literally a catboy and a catgirl; what other questions could there be?

Okay, technically, Tenko also receives olive blood because she is combative and strong, which are characteristics of this caste. She generally looks like a cat herself ([EN] we’re referring to her fangs and headband with ears in the beta design, her collar with the bell and some of her facial expressions on the sprites), and her temper matches her caste. I'm not sure how to adapt her hatred of men to Homestuck... yet. Maybe she'll hate highbloods instead? That's something to think about.

Ryoma, for his part, with his whole cat theme (his Lusus is a cat, of course), the resemblance of cat ears on his hat, and his tendency to stare into space—he's a good fit too. And despite his small size, he is quite strong.

• Maki. And that's where the problems and doubts begin to unfold. We were deciding whether to make her olive or maybe jade, given her backstory. After all, she disguises herself as a caretaker in canon, and you wouldn't expect a girl from an orphanage to turn out to be a professional assassin. On the other hand, you might expect that from an olive caste troll. Actually, there are indeed olive assassins. But several factors convinced me to give her this particular caste:

- Maki herself is like a wild cat. Her killer stare, mouth shape, quick reactions, strength, agility, grace.

- raising jade trolls as ''assassins'' sounds not only ideologically dubious (after all, the jade caste has a special place in troll society), but also illogical. Jade's killing instinct is probably suppressed, otherwise there would be complete bloodbath in the brooding caves, they wouldn't get along with each other, they wouldn't be able to take care of wigglers.

- yeah, we've sort of canonised Maki being raised by a group of trolls to be an assassin. And raising an olive for that purpose is a perfectly reasonable idea, given their natural abilities.

- the idea for the jade caste came from the fact that children are attracted to Maki. However, Maki gets surprised by this fact every time. She calls it silly, paradoxical, and strange. Well, it wouldn't be strange at all if wigglers were attracted to a jade blood troll; that's natural. But the fact that they are attracted to an olive one should come as a surprise, even to Maki herself.

• Kirumi. Wasn’t overthinking it. The caste is given to her at the same time because of the method of exclusion (others don't really fit) and because of her calmness, composure, and desire to care for others. Kirumi can also be very, very dangerous, just like the jades in canon ;)

• Rantaro. Anybody ordered male jade? I love them personally, despite knowing they're very rare. Well, that choice is pretty obvious: Rantaro is filled with the desire to care for and protect his younger siblings. Where else could he end up but in the jade caste? He's also just a handsome guy with the cutest face, and he's GREEN, dammit! I made my choice immediately. And there's already a story about him! It's small, but we're definitely going to expand it.

• Shuichi. Do I have to explain anything??? Well, in case someone doesn't know, teal caste and detective work are two sides of the same (hee hee) coin, there was simply no other way.

• Angie. Blue caste. Uuuh, yeah, the elimination method again, I suppose? At first, I considered gold blood to maintain the original palette, but Angie has a blue caste psycho vibe to me. Damn, she's brainwashed half the class at some point! What else could it be but minor mind control? Also, Angie is quite bossy, feels at ease, and has the markings of a dominant personality (oh, the Love Hotel scene...). Blue caste suits her.

• Tsumugi. So, okay, given all her statements about her being "plain" and "nonexistent," it would seem that she should have been given low blood. But listen to this: she BULLIES MIU!

...okay, this might not be entirely obvious, but Tsumugi often makes all sorts of sarcastic comments about the other characters, most of which you can only notice if you replay V3 with knowledge of the plot. Her tweaks towards Miu are more noticeable, though, and considering that Miu herself is an indigo blood, it goes down well. Tsumugi is high-blooded enough to tease the indigo troll, saying things like, "Hey, why is it that as soon as someone starts talking back to you, you immediately turn into such a wimp?" She's also high-blooded enough to ignore Kaede when she tries to talk to her at the beginning of the game. Her blue caste might be the reason the killing game worked out at all, considering how many mistakes Tsumugi made. Who knows, maybe she also created Flashback Lights with her psychic powers...

And... eh. I confess. I wanted to keep her in blue colors, in addition to all the above reasons, so I didn't really consider any other castes.

• Miu. Indigo caste, wow! Well, considering her behavior and the fact that no one had ever punched her through the entire game, it’s CLEARLY obvious. Only a high-blooded troll, a really high-blooded troll, could afford to be so rude to those much lower down. The funny thing is that she targeted low and mid-bloods more often: Kaede, Shuichi, sometimes Himiko, Korekiyo, and Keebo. She didn’t bother, or almost didn’t, with Gonta, Kaito, and even COOPERATED with Kokichi—as if she had to, as if she were afraid of crossing the paths of those above her in caste. Also, Miu said she liked it when Kaede and Shuichi knelt before her...

You might ask—why not purple caste? Still, Miu’s strange behavior is a bit like that of a purple-blooded schizo, isn't it? Well... Firstly, there's nothing to suggest that Miu belongs to this weird purple cult. Secondly, Miu’s odd behavior when someone insults her gives us an interesting, almost Equius-like, God forgive me, “I'm superior to you, but I want to obey; it's SO WRONG but so arousing” conflict.

• Gonta. There was no reason to even try. I did have a stray thought, due to Gonta's nature and his connection to bugs, to place him in the bronze caste, but...no. Given his immense power and his lack of insanity like that of the purple-blooded trolls, you can't put him anywhere other than the indigo caste. Plus, he's from a noble family himself. And this ALSO creates a cool dynamic and adds interesting lore aspects to Homestuck!Gonta that I like VERY much and will definitely cover in other posts!!!!

• Kokichi. Oooh reeeally, who'd have thought? Of course he's purple-blooded! It's not that simple, though. Kokichi is definitely not a crazy purple cultist like most members of the purple caste. We are going to be talking about that separately, and believe me, I will give this guy a lot of lore, because I freaking love him. There isn't much else to say–no other blood color suits him better.

• AND HERE WE ARE: VIOLET-BLOODED KAITO, WAT???? Okay, let me explain!

1. I have a headcanon that violet-bloods are not as obsessed with the hemospectrum as land trolls. This is due to the fact that they are mostly isolated, living in the sea. In that environment, there are only fuchsia caste above them, and no one below them Occasionally, rare purple-bloods get caught on the shores, but EVEN then, their status isn't significantly lower. They don't live in a society where lower-bloods are constantly stigmatized and killed for no reason. They simply don't have any possibilities to "grow" those oppressive, rigid attitudes. Eridan shows this well: no matter how much he talks about hating land dwellers, he always interacts with other trolls on almost equal footing—for example, by hitting on everyone and asking Karkat for advice.

2. Kaito has strong leadership skills and a desire to guide, mentor, and support others. He stands up for Kaede, takes Shuichi under his wing, and protects Maki. This demonstrates the attitude of a strong leader willing to take responsibility. It seems very reasonable for an intelligent, thoughtful violet who knows that he is in a position of authority and must be relied upon. He can't afford to appear weak. No wonder he hasn't told anyone about his illness...

3. He conquered the sea... AND CAME TO LAND!!! All these stories about Kaito in Homestuck could become TRUE if he really is a troll with access to EVERYTHING. Fight a pirate king? Hell yeah! And he WANTS to go into space! Maybe not to enslave worlds, but to get off the planet and pilot a ship—why not? He has nothing to fear, unlike many other trolls, as he'd literally be in charge, with only the Empress above him. But back to his travels: tired of his life at sea, Kaito could just go and explore the land, and nothing can stop him. No other troll but a sea troll could afford to do that (although land trolls shouldn't go to sea).

4. Kaito is daring. And combative. He is pretty much the only one in the class who has no problem expressing his displeasure to Kokichi (a purple blood!) regularly and hitting him. Kaito is generally capable of aggression (I shudder to think how Shuichi must have felt when he was punched—minus another protagonist?) and emotion, which is also characteristic of the highblood. Even when he tries to stop Kokichi at the end, he's probably the only one who can do so after Gonta and Miu was killed.

5. COLOUR SCHEME. Let's just leave him with a beautiful violet. Especially as a highblood, he has every right to dress up. Even a star coat :з

Aaand yeah that's it! It has been a bit of a journey, hasn't it? Gosh, I'm really embarrassed. If you made it to the end, I love you guys so much!!!! I hope you enjoyed it!!! I'll develop this thread if there's minimal feedback and people are interested. And, uh, if you have any questions or anything, go for it. Questions help develop this whole thing.

TRANSLATION PREPARED BY MY FAVORITE WONDERFUL FRIENDS SUNSHINES I LOVE YOU WITHOUT YOU THIS WOULD NOT BE POSSIBLE THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU <33333

[fallenrocket]

I feel a little apprehensive putting this into words. I guess I'll just start by saying that this is 100% IMHO. I know a lot of people are celebrating "Rogue" and really love the Doctor/Rogue dynamic--I'm not contradicting them or trying to downplay the significance of seeing the Doctor in a same-sex romance, especially after the show seemed to hold back with the Doctor and Yaz. I get that this episode is a big ol' "happy Pride to us!" moment for a lot of fans, and they have every right to feel that way. I just want to talk about why I, an aroace who views the Doctor as aspec, had a hard time fully embracing it.

From the moment I heard chatter that Fifteen was going to be drawn more to men than women, I was fine with it. As I've said before, one of the fun things about Doctor Who aspec headcanons is that each regeneration feels ace in different ways. Most of the new Who Doctors are some flavor of romantic, and plenty of them have been neutral or receptive to men flirting with them. It's all good. I just hoped that an m/m-leaning Doctor still felt ace to me, the way that m/f- and f/f-leaning Doctors have. I was hoping not to get, "The Doctor is gay now, and he's DTF!"

In my view, when the Doctor is drawn to someone, it's always primarily about who they are and what they do, not what they look like. The Doctor does use words like "beautiful," "gorgeous," and "sexy," but they're far more likely to use them in reference to a machine/creature/constellation than to a person. The Doctor forges deep soul connections in their romances while also giving just as much weight and respect to their platonic connections (love you forever, Fifteen and Ruby!) The Doctor's version of "flirting" is usually just being themselves, which people can't help falling in love with, and they're often slow to realize other people are flirting with them. Different Doctors have different reactions to kissing, but 1) they're often the one being kissed, not the other way around, and 2) they often find themselves surprised by kisses. When it comes to sexual references/propositions, their responses usually range from uncomfortable to confused to "does not register at all that there is something sexual here."

Nine when Jackie gives him the old "there's a strange man in my bedroom, anything could happen": ...No.

Ten when Lilith tries to seduce him: Now, that’s one form of magic that’s definitely not going to work on me.

Eleven when Craig says to give him a shout if he needs privacy with a girlfriend or boyfriend: Oh, I will! I’ll shout. Yes, something like, “I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS!!”

Twelve when River points out that he has no idea whether or not she looks "amazing": Well, you, you’ve moved your hair about, haven’t you?

Thirteen when Yaz's mum asks if they're dating: ...I don’t think so. Are we?

Now, I get that the show doesn't owe me an aspec Doctor, but what it's given me so far has pretty much always fit into that headcanon nicely. I love that this show is led by a brilliant, imaginative, compassionate hero who has boundless love for their friends and doesn't really care about sex.

That's the energy I was hoping for with Fifteen, and "Rogue" doesn't really deliver it for me. I'm not saying that an aspec person can't respond to Rogue the way the Doctor does, but to me, it just feels off compared to how the Doctor usually is in romantic situations.

When Rogue invites him for a walk outside and the Doctor remarks, "Fast mover," before following him--would any other Doctor take that as a proposition?

Just generally leading with the physical--handsome strangers, commenting on how good Rogue looks in his jacket, "you're hot" on the psychic paper. Again, I've seen the Doctor fall for people based on their bravery, their kindness, their intelligence, their skill in a crisis, etc. They usually are hot, in the way that most people on TV are, but that's not why the Doctor likes them. And with Rogue, that seems to be the very first thing the Doctor notices about him. What qualities of his is the Doctor drawn to?

The Doctor taking more of a lead when it comes to overt flirtation--given that Rogue is kind of a brusque, prickly loner, he likely wasn't going to start it off, but it feels weird to me to see the Doctor take the reins on a romance that isn't some kind of pretense (a la Ten proposing to Queen Elizabeth because he's trying to prove she's really a Zygon.)

I'm not about to say this episode is blatantly sexualized or "think of the children!" or anything like that. And honestly, Fifteen's portrayal here isn't drastically far off from previous characterizations of the Doctor. But there are just lots of little things that, if I was writing it, I'd have nudged slightly to put the Doctor's reactions to Rogue more in line with how they reacted to Rose/Reinette/River/etc.

***

I'd open with the Doctor curious about Rogue as someone who clearly isn't from that time/place, drawn more to the mystery than anything else. When Rogue is dour in response, the Doctor teases him--he's at a party, he's in a playful mood, and he wants the guy to lighten up.

They go outside--maybe together, maybe separately--but they both come across the duchess's shoe, shortly followed by the duchess herself. Rogue makes a clever observation or asks an Excellent Question that piques the Doctor's interest, but then he's disappointed when Rogue pulls the gun on him. Something along the lines of, "Bounty hunter? Just when I thought I met someone interesting," or, "I thought you were clever! How can you find so much evidence and follow it to exactly the wrong conclusion?"

Still, the Doctor's annoyed, not worried. He's confident that he can either convince Rogue he's wrong or get away, so he keeps up the teasing. But when Rogue takes him back to his ship, the Doctor quickly picks up on the fact that it's made to be flown with two. He's becoming slightly more worried about his own predicament, but he also wonders what pain Rogue is trying to conceal, and the little surprising touches around the ship--the DnD dice, the music--are piquing his interest again.

The Doctor uses the scanner to prove he's not a Childur, and Rogue realizes he only wants to capture the right person. The Doctor starts to think maybe there's hope for this guy yet. They go to the TARDIS and have basically the same conversation: "Pure Imagination," the pitch to travel with the Doctor (with added emphasis on there being better possibilities out there than bounty hunting,) and the two of them opening up about continuing on after loss. It's in this scene that Rogue really starts to feel drawn to the Doctor. He considers a kiss, but the Doctor is distracted by reprogramming the triform and misses signals that are visible from space.

Back at the ball, the Doctor and Ruby reconnect and catch each other up. Somewhere in there, they have a brief side exchange about Rogue. Ruby makes a comment about his good looks, and the Doctor says something like, "Is he? Now I know he's a bounty hunter, but he wants to do the right thing here. And no one who listens to Kylie could be all bad!" He spitballs a few "scandalous" ideas before realizing that him and Rogue dancing would be the juiciest. Fewer pregnant pauses and smoldering looks here, maybe some awkwardness like, "We could--I mean, if you wanted to--just to draw her out, mind..."

It's during the dance that the Doctor really starts to twig that he might be catching feelings, even as he stays focused on the task at hand. And it's not until Rogue pulls the proposal move that it occurs to the Doctor that Rogue might possibly be catching feelings for him too.

Climax mostly plays out the same way. Again, less of a pregnant pause with the kiss. Lean into the Doctor's distress over Ruby--maybe Rogue says something like, "Shh, it's okay," before going in for the kiss. The Doctor's face registers surprise, then he kind of melts into it, then before he knows it, Rogue has swapped places with Ruby and is telling the Doctor to find him. And then he's gone.

And this has nothing to do with ace stuff, but I'd set the last scene between the Doctor and Ruby in the TARDIS, with Ruby walking in to find the Doctor aggravated that he's tried numerous options and can't lock onto a way to track Rogue. He tries to play it off--"It was always a longshot, endless dimensions out there. Where to next, huh?"--and Ruby shuts him up and encourages him to let himself feel this loss.

***

But I dunno. Equality doesn't equal equity. Maybe if the Doctor's romance with Rogue had a similarly light touch as some of their m/f connections, people would be arguing that it wasn't really a romance. That the Doctor "clearly" wasn't into Rogue like Rogue was into him, or that the show was pulling its punches with a "sanitized" m/m romance. I can't speak to that experience, and maybe my version wouldn't come off well for reasons I can't see.

And like I said, if you love the Doctor/Rogue, that's great. I'm glad that you got an episode like this during Pride, and I know I can't blame a show for not following my headcanon. I went into "Rogue" apprehensive but hoping I'd love it, and these are just my thoughts and reactions to the episode.

[chevelleneech]

Now there's the whole issue with peopleg giving AYS bad ratings on purpose. It just makes me so sad, how Jimin and Jungkook can never be enjoyed as a duo the way the rest are in BTS. And then Taekookers (and some ARMYs) have the audacity to say the company uses Jikook for fanservice because they make money off of them as a duo very easily, and I'm just like "where??". For who are they doing all this when a majority of the fandom are Taekookers and ARMYs who prefer Taekook together the most? We see it with the views all the time.

I don't know when people are gonna open their eyes. It's not HYBE's fault that Jikook have the kind of dynamic they do that they (the antis) obviously notice but hate for some reason.

Poor Jimin and Jungkook. I feel so sorry for them for real. I don't even want people to see what I see in them as someone who ships them, I really just dream about ARMY reacting to them the way they react to Vmin, Minimoni, Sope, Vhope, Taejin and literally any other duo in BTS. I just wanna come across a Jikook video and not come across weird, delusional and mean comments about them all the time that dismiss them having anything that goes beyond a co-worker relationship.

Do you think it hurts them to see how much the fandom hates seeing them together, or used to at one point?

My main takeaway, that proves these reviews are being left by people who are Tkk shippers and nothing else, is how hard they are trying to word things so they sound like unbiased, casual dislikes.

I’d usually say they don’t view the members are real people, but using things such as, “the script”, “the protagonist”, “falling flat”, “forced acting” makes it clear they actually do, and are aware that they have to twist things into fiction to come across as more “honest”.

They have to use words and phrases that don’t ping as being unnecessarily hateful, but to do that, they have to paint AYS as a scripted/forced project. Because how do you unbiasedly say, about a band you supposedly love and understand do skinship with each other in general, “I don’t like that these two members specifically are interacting.” without it coming across as you being hateful of those two members specifically? You can’t.

They can’t give real Anders to how or why JM and JK seem scripted, because doing that requires listing all the things they do and why it is fake, without also presenting a case for why it’s fake for other members including Tae and Wooga. Because doing that would also require proving Jimin and JK’s actions have been fake this entire time, which is delusional. No one is going to believe that 10+ year long best friends are doing scripted friendship shit now, but weren’t in the last. Not will anyone believe for a second that two people would fake being best friends for TEN YEARS. No paycheck is worth that, when it’s not an actual fictional tv show or movie.

As for whether not Jimin and Jungkook see it and are affected? I don’t know. I’d hope not, but they have access to the same internet as the rest of us, and have proven time again they know what’s going on in Armyland. So I would say yes, they do know there’s a certain faction of this fandom who hates them being a Them, and they likely do also know how little is done on the overall fandom to stop it.

Does it affect them? My guess is no. They’ve been a Them for a long time now, be-it platonic or romantic, and they haven’t changed their behavior. They know people think they’re dating, they continue to act like they’re dating. They know people don’t like seeing them together. They continue to be seen together. They know people think their friendship is forced by the company. They continue to call each other best friends.

So my take away is, if they do care what people think, they have worked very hard on making sure it doesn’t change their thoughts and feelings for each other, whatever they may be.

All that said, it is incredibly fucked up that Jimin and Jungkook being friends is disliked as much as it is. They don’t do anything but love on each other and love on the other members, yet one stupid group of fans are loud enough to put such a damper on that. Those people need help.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

I’m like a toddler and vampire fic is my new shiny toy. So 🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸

And then the usual ;) 🌊🌊🌊🌌🌌🌌🚨🚨🚨📚📚📚🦮🦮🦮and uuuuh I think the last one was this?? 🔮🔮🔮

SO HAPPY YOU ARE LOVING LONG DEATH!

Here are 15 fresh sentences for 🩸:

---

Obviously, the main hope is that one of these days they’ll just find Eddie at the marina. Just wandering about, or something. It’s a possibility, albeit a slim one. The real value of regular marina trips is the intel. A currency more valuable than money, at this point. 

They always stop at Kurt’s first. Kurt lives on a houseboat - the youngest son of a wealthy, old-money type family - and didn’t end up leaving when vampire activity kind of took over the marina. He makes a decent side hustling smuggling things in and out; people, blood, you name it. And, importantly, he loves Sophia. 

Buck is always impressed with the way Sophia can seem to play to any audience. For someone very pragmatic and even in her day-to-day life, she can don a mask and give a performance better than Buck could ever hope. Lying has made him turn inward; bottle himself up and become hard to avoid spilling over with truth. Sophia makes an art of it. She’s far more than half the reason they have any connections at all. Buck would be lost without her. 

---

9 for 🌊:

---

Buck watches Genevieve and Christopher interact with a plain joy on his face that takes Eddie by surprise. Then he remembers that Buck is just getting to know his niece over the past year, and from their day at the beach together, it seems like he’s working pretty hard to do so. And this little girl has gone through a lot. Seeing her happy just makes Buck happy. And that makes Eddie fall for him even more. 

After dinner the adults have a glass of wine on Buck’s back porch, overlooking the ocean, while Chris and Genevieve play video games inside. At one point, Buck gets up to grab everyone a refill, leaving Eddie and Maddie alone for a brief moment. 

Maddie doesn’t waste any time. 

“You’re good for him,” she says, practically the second the door closes behind Buck. 

---

9 for 🌌:

@steadfastsaturnsrings

---

“It’s really bizarre,” Chris says. “You were there, and Buck was there, and for some reason Ana was there, too.” 

Fuck.

“Ana, huh?” Eddie asks. 

“Yeah. And it started, like, when we were in a house with Ana, then we were driving, I think to find Buck? I don’t know. I don’t remember all of it.”

---

9 for 🚨:

---

The other half of him wants to put everything on the line, risk it all, and wake Buck up in a way he’s not likely to forget. He remembers the feeling of Buck’s lips on his head last night. The desperate fear and relief when they found each other underwater. He’s starting to think the thing he wants would be wanted in return. 

Eddie is stuck in the throes of decision paralysis. Well, decision paralysis and another urgent sensation. God, he’s so screwed. There’s no coming back from this, is there? Even if he gets up and walks away from this, uh, opportunity, how can they both pretend that last night didn’t change the dynamic between them?

---

9 for 📚:

---

 “Guess I forgot to mention.”

“Ah, he’s being polite,” Anil makes a dismissive waving gesture. “Ravi and I aren’t close anymore.”

Anymore? What anymore can he be referring to? Maybe they were close as toddlers, but somehow, Ravi doubts even that. 

The rest of the 118 exchange uncomfortable glances. 

“Well,” Chim tries weakly. “There’s something to be said for reconnecting.”

---

9 for 🦮:

---

“I’m just not sure.” Buck admits after a moment of thought. “There’s gotta be people with, uh, disabilities in the department that really need that help. Right?”

“Um…” Fionn trails off, sounding somehow confused with Buck’s reply. He doesn’t know what part of it was confusing. “Well, can you think about it? Maybe meet the dog? We were quite set on you.” 

---

3 for 🔮:

You're actually getting the first non-outline words of the fic here haha.

---

Bobby knows that part of the problem is that he has let this quiet go on for far too long. Quiet - not silence. They are speaking. He’s still speaking to everyone from the 118. Eddie and Chim mostly. Ravi and Hen less. Buck… Hardly at all.  Bobby should have been the one to change that, before the quiet turned to gunpowder and someone lit a match. But he didn’t, and so here they are. 

[injaws]

d'pharaoh woon-a-tai, twenty-three, he/they   ⟡   —   is that BRIAR SUTTON i just saw walking around kilmer’s cove? i heard they’re a RESIDENT who’s been here for TWENTY-ONE YEARS. it slipped my mind, since they just tend to hang out at THE BOARDWALK. at face value, they’re said to be CHARMING and PLAYFUL, but i don’t know… some people have said they can be quite IMMATURE and AIMLESS. just don’t get on their bad side, i guess! don’t tell them i told you this, but i’ve heard they DO believe in all the ghost stories around town. who knows what the future holds for them! 

BASICS:

full name: briar sutton nickname(s): bri, b  age: twenty-three  gender: non-binary pronouns: he/they  sexuality: slut date & place of birth: december 04 in toronto, canada  occupation: piercing apprentice at eternal ink & part-time student at makah community college  faceclaim: d'pharaoh woon-a-tai notable characteristics: shaggy hair down to his shoulders, baggy shirts and even baggier jeans, a plethora of piercings (his ears, their tongue, his eyebrow, their bottom lip), a helluva puppy dog face, skin that's way too clear for the amount of junk he eats, constant need for movement (drumming on desks, tapping his foot -- shoutout adhd) traits: charming, juvenile, mischievous, playful, so unserious holy shit, aimless similar to: rodrick heffley (diary of a wimpy kid), percy jackson (percy jackson & the olympians), yu nishinoya (haikyuu), kurt wagner (x-men), naruto uzumaki (naruto) aesthetics: skateboarding down the beach boardwalk, a bag full of spray paint, grinning after you've gotten a bloody nose, torn up vans, high-top converse

BULLET POINTS — TW POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION, DRUG USE, DEALING, & GENERALLY ROUGH FAMILY DYNAMICS

– born to a single mother in toronto, canada, briar never knew his father. he was the product of a frat-party-fueled one night stand months before, and their mother wanted nothing to do with the man after that. a woman who believed she could take on the world, she thought she could handle a baby, too – even at the ripe age of 20. – what she couldn't have expected was the postpartum depression that would wrack her body when briar was born. she managed to push through, but it wasn't easy. he was colicky, then he was needy, then so hyperactive she couldn't catch up with them. this was around the first time she'd realized she'd bitten off more than she could chew (and around the time briar would tell you she began to resent them, if you asked) – constantly exhausted and barely out of the throes of mental illness, briar's mother knew she couldn't do this alone anymore. finally, she took up her family's offer to help raise briar, and moved them both to kilmer at age two – and god, did it take a village to raise them. briar never did particularly well in school; not for lack of smarts, because he had plenty. but he didn't learn the way other kids did, and no one was willing to stop and figure out why. they fell behind quickly, and in order to keep him from falling through the cracks, constant tutoring sessions began to replace the sports he'd liked to do, all for what he deemed useless because he just didn't get it.  – briar became kind of a "lost cause" to schools quickly, but never to his mother. she moved him from school to school, whenever he'd get in trouble at one – he'll tell you this only made the resentment worse. – briar falls into the wrong crowd fast. feeling outcast by the authority figures at his school, he finds his own community. late nights skating, tagging, and doing some type of drug are frequent. so are the pained looks from their mother when they come home as the sun rises once again. – they move out of their mother's house at age 17 after a blowout fight. they were going nowhere fast, she worked so hard for him and he's throwing it away. his grandparents, his aunts & uncles all tried to get him to stay, but he couldn't do it. – briar couch surfs for a while before crashing with his older cousin & their boyfriend, two of his best friends. he had no clue what he was going to do, but the couple struck a deal; he stays in school and actually tries to do the work, and he can stay with them. so, he finished up high school (c's get degrees – or diplomas – friends!). now, he's got a job at the skate shop on the boardwalk and is part-time in school...doing something. 

HEADCANONS:

– part time weed dealer, too but it’s to raise money ‼️‼️ at the end of the day, briar tells himself he can't keep disappointing everyone in their life. even if they dig their hole deeper. – kind of Known throughout the town as a “mina's burnout kid”, a “lost cause”, or “misunderstood”, depending on who you ask – also known as a sweet kid, because they were still helping little old ladies cross the street and carry in their groceries even though he was probably high while doing it – he's a ridiculous flirt. owns several pieces of merchandise with "i <3 milfs" on it. really annoying. – WHACKED with a case of severe adhd that does in fact affect every area of their life. diagnosed like as of four years ago. don't talk to them. they're medicated. (muns interpretation of this is based off of my own but pls let me know if anything i'm saying sounds wrong or fucked up etc etc)  – loves spray-painting & tagging. adrenaline junkie. his tag is "makwa", which means bear (specifically the black bear) in the ojibwe language. it was the nickname his mother and relatives called them growing up. tags rich houses and big company buildings often -- "eat the rich" in a person – always doing something with their limbs; tapping their fingers, bouncing their leg, fiddling with their hair. like the energizer bunny on crack – practices "california sobriety". is high often, says it calms him (someone take that shit away from him thanks) – doesn't really like alcohol, though, because he "doesn't like how it makes him feel" – will drink ten virgin pina coladas in one sitting, though – doesn't drive, prefers to just skate everywhere or take the bus. economic king – will never cut his hair beyond a trim. either wears it down or up in some kind of ponytail/bun combo. braids are rare; he enjoys wearing them, but doesn't love the work of doing them – very close with his grandparents (especially his grandmother) still. calls her at least three or four times a week. many of his fondest memories are connected to her. – talks to his mom maybe once a month. neither of them want to unpack what happened. – almost always able to talk his way out of anything. boyishly charming to an annoying degree. – enjoys an occasional crop top.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

– guh. check back l8r  

[cloud-somersault]

I get where you are taking the story with Macaque's confession but can you please not make it an abusive power struggle. with wukong desperately wanting love or affection and his partner holding it over his head like a treat? I'm so sick of seeing that kind of "romance" in shadowpeach fics now a days. It's so cruel.

I think this is going to be the last question I answer on this blog for the foreseeable future or else I’m just going to keep getting stupid shit like this in my box. Once again, I never asked for criticism, and I said as much, nicely, last time. But since you felt the need to come here to my blog and state what you want to have happen? In my story? Nah. No more being nice. I’m gonna sit you the fuck down.

First off, this story isn’t being written for you; it’s being written for me. I am doing whatever the hell I want to do in my own fucking story. I am so sick and tired of people coming in here complaining and whining and being rude and inconsiderate to a stranger. I don’t fucking know any of you people; do you think it’s just okay to go up to someone and say shit like this? When they’ve already written free content for you?

You’re being entitled. Stop it. Don’t send this kind of stuff to any other writer or artist on any platform. You want to have shadowpeach behave a certain way? You want to see more of a certain dynamic? Then write it yourself and stop making your preferences my problem.

What the masses do is not in my control and, frankly, not my fucking concern. I have enough understanding to know people are going to write what they want, however they want it. I’m not gonna like everything they do or agree with it, but that’s how it is. They have that freedom, just like you have the freedom to sit down and type out a story yourself.

And you think that dynamic is cruel. Again, those are your preferences. And don’t come in here asking for the fic to be a certain way and say you understand where I’m taking the story when you clearly don’t.

From this ask, I’m guessing you didn’t read chapter 12, because if you did, you wouldn’t have sent this. Or you read it and chose to ignore half the content, I guess. Either way, how many times, in that chapter alone did Macaque shower Wukong with affection? He initiated that first kiss. He initiated more kisses three fucking times.

Wukong deadass asked Macaque for kisses, and Macaque instantly gave him kisses. He literally saves Wukong from falling when the tree breaks and makes that his first priority. He constantly remarks on how beautiful Wukong is, how warm he is, how he can’t live without him, how Wukong belongs to him.

Macaque wants affection just as badly from Wukong. He literally tells Wukong he’s enthused to just fucking kiss and bite him. In every other paragraph, Macaque is talking about how badly he wants more. But Macaque’s holding affection over Wukong's head like a treat? The entire point of chapter 11 was them coming to an understanding and setting off on this new path their relationship is going together. What are you reading?? Because it sure as shit ain't the epilogue.

Like, what is this take? I am so confused how you ended up here. You are missing fundamental elements and aspects in this story because you're projecting onto Wukong or whoever and feel the need to defend him when he doesn’t need your defense. He’s gotten plenty of affection and he’s going to get so much more. Don’t act like you know where I’m going with this story. The only person who knows is me.

And even if I did write that — that’s my fucking choice. I can do what I want.

You, and everyone else I guess who shoots criticism my way, is forgetting the entire premise of this AU: Wukong killed Macaque. So if Macaque wants to take things slow or doesn’t want to give out affection sometimes, that’s his fucking choice. Also! There doesn’t have to be a murder for him to want that. That’s just a relationship thing. People want what they want when they want it. And Macaque isn’t forcing Wukong to stay in this situation, Wukong wants this. He loves Macaque. He wants to be with him.

The story isn’t even over. They just kissed, and you’re shooting this ask my way? Thinking it’ll change something? If anything, it makes me want to write this power struggle dynamic because you think it’s okay to push your opinion on others.

I’m not changing this story to suit you or anyone else’s wants or needs. No one is forcing you to read this. If you don’t like where it’s heading, stop fucking reading it.

[cephydeluxe]

Ohhh I got some asks for the v/mc/rika polycule!! 🤓

1. Do you have any songs/music you like to associate with them? A playlist maybe? 👀 Or just a couple of songs or something, I'm a music nerd, hehe

2. How would you describe their affection towards one another? Are they rough with each other? Gentle? Or do they differ in how they give their affection to each other? I guess case and point is: who's the one coming out covered in bite marks, pfft

3. Are there any feelings of jealousy involved between them? It'll probably be easy to imagine v getting the short end of the stick, but, uh.... he's kind of canonically a freak. So it's highly debatable if he would even get hurt or upset by anything, really. Man's a weird one, and we love him for it. But what about Rika or MC? Do either of them have to deal with feelings of envy or insecurity? Rika's a highly anxious and insecure individual, while MC will have to deal with V's and Rika's mutual obsession with one another. It's an interesting dynamic! I wanna read up on how you see it for them, for better and for worse <3

OMGOMGOMG ‼️‼️‼️ tytyty for asking, I love their dynamic sm,,,, this will be very, extremely, audaciously long lol (u have opened the autism pandora box) it’s all under the read more

TW: unhealthy relationship dynamics, mentions of trauma and mental illness, physical, emotional, and mental abuse (the unholy triforce 😭), also sexual themes too (you know a ships good when you gotta bring out the long ass list of triggers JHASGJDS)

1. MUSIC

I have like a hundred playlists for these freaks and they’re all have a thousand songs in them that VAGUELY remind me of them, so, I’ll give you my top 5 :)

1.

This song is THE QUINTESSENTIAL Rika song, 100%, no doubt. Rika’s jealousy and envy of V’s “light” compared to her “darkness” is at the heart of what killed their relationship and plays a huge role in the creation of the mint eye. V certainly isn’t nowhere near as vain as Julius Caesar, but Rika couldn’t fit the role of Brutus here any better than she already does🥺🥺🥺.

“That the people would see me too as a poet, and not just the muse” is such a good line for rika’s thoughts and feelings on their relationship augh, she sees v’s ability to love her, to “save” her, and constantly compares it to her hatred of everyone in her past who mistreated and abused her, and wonders “why can’t I have the ability to love others? why am I in agony even now in this relationship? why can’t I be the savior and not just v’s muse?”

Totally encapsulates Rika’s slow mental decline as V keeps enabling her, it stoked her “devil” and it starts to create a vicious cycle of “heap on the love, get jealous of v’s light, become resentful and aggressive as an unhealthy coping mechanism, “test v’s love” (hurt him), remorse, hate herself, resolve to be “cured” by the light, repeat”. She has no idea what romantic love actually looks like, so she gets it confused with obsessive hatred.

^^^this is totally the scene where she stabs him LMAOSDHSJJHD

“I don’t want what you have, I want to be you” it’s such a good line, it’s Rika 100%,,,,, augh 🥺🥺🥺

2.

This song makes me froth at the mouth soooo bad thinking about V/MC affair hijinks (I’m delusional), but I think the general vibe fits with Rika feeling scorned and cheated at the end of V route. Like instead of fabricating a woman up, she lured MC to mint eye which set up the events that led V and MC to fall in love (kinda), smh she set herself up 😒

3.

Casual/Deep story V vibes at their finest,,,,, imagining V wandering alone through his old, and frighteningly chilly, house, the one he built with Rika to be the foundation for their new happy life,,,, trying to remember her face after finally losing his vision completely and having spent so long apart from her,,, while questioning the nature of their relationship for it to end like this,,,, calling out her name in hope she’ll come back and the past 2 years will have been a dream,,,,, hell yeagh (hooked up 2 life support)

4.

All of kikuo’s songs remind me of mint eye, but hole dwelling is Rika/MC vibes 100%.(could also be ray tbh BUT THIS AINT ABOUT HIM ‼️) Rika tries to convince MC to stay with her by appealing to the hurt, scared, and confused childlike side of her similar to the way the song does. “The outside world just wants to hurt people like us anyway, but don’t worry, I’m always here for you, I understand you. There’s no need to change, it’s uncomfortable and scary, just stay in this place I built for you and me.” MC fuckin HATES this shit, but being in a place like mint eye wears down on you, so mc will occasionally (and very begrudgingly) lean on Rika for support. It’s very sweet (delusional).

5.

Ok this oldie sticks out jahshj (I’m a fnv freakazoid) but it’s totally MC singing about V 🥹💕. I wouldn’t say it was “love at first sight”,,,,, but it was totally “attraction at first sight” lmao (big difference). Their attraction was really quick to spark, they had a lot of things in common and similar views (not so much in other things LOL) like their love for art in all forms, their introverted nature, their mutual appreciation for all things romantic (aka, their both in love with falling in love), and their similar martyr complex lolololol. MC singing this while spending a sleepless night tending to a sickly drugged V, while lamenting her newfound budding feelings for him,,,(cephy stop obsessing over romance as a tragedy challenge: impossible)

Some honorable mentions

(^^^ V would never describe his relationship with Rika so cruelly, EVER,,,,, but the vibe of love performed as art for others instead of something to build with someone you care about,,, it’s immaculate)

11. AFFECTION

Their dynamic can be confusing, but don’t worry, you can’t possibly be more confused than they are, and they’re IN IT lol. Generally their dynamic is, the “ring leader” (Rika) and her two adoring affectionate “lovers” (V and MC) (more like playthings tbh). They have a whole web of dynamics though, ray made a chart to keep track of it all so when inevitably Rika has a meltdown over a perceived slight and needs him to vent to, he can keep track of what’s what (kinda)(poor guy).

Rika/MC affection: USUALLY MC does NOT want anything to do with Rika,,, but V can be super suffocating,,,, and Rika is extremely persistent with getting MC’s attention, and the line between hate and love can be extremely thin (especially in their case). MC tends to relent when rika’s upset though, she doesn’t like seeing her cry (she tries to convince herself lol) and will comfort Rika when she does. MC generally follows Rika’s led in moments like this (overstepping her bounds, even accidentally, is a recipe for disaster). Rika knows this, and will take full advantage, cue 7 hour cuddling session that takes up MC’s whole day, even if she had something planned with V 🤭🤭🤭 Rika is also wayyyy more happily (and sexually) affectionate with MC than with V lol (cause she’s closeted lesbian- wHO SAID THAT) Mutual biting, but the one biting is usually Rika.

V/MC affection: my sweet lovers,,,,, they are much too sweet to each other considering the circumstances,,, V (despite his relationship with Rika) has never felt so genuinely attracted to another person before, it’s always been a conscious choice he’s made for the sake of his art, his love, his obsession, his guilt, his light. So when his feelings for MC spring up outta nowhere, he has a kinda catholic reaction to them ahdghshgd. “Good heavens, what is this feeling??? For a woman I met a week ago, no less….. What a sad excuse for a man I am, how could I love anyone else besides Rika….i should stop…(proceeds to call MC for the 50th time that day just to hear her voice)” and MC,,,, MC has never had a more embarrassing crush on a guy, ever HEHEHE she doesn’t know how to cope with his flustering when she reaches for his hand, his old timey romantic gestures (getting her flowers and walking with her on the side farthest from the road)(throwing his coat on a puddle for her to walk on HSHSDJ). He can be a lil too much at times, (which sometimes frustrates her, she feels smothered at times, and it’s her first relationship (good lord) and she’s not a well adjusted person either) but they both have this really cute, almost innocent, puppy love thing going on, it’s cute 🥰, it’s also the only kind of real affection v gets lol (poor guy). MC has a bad case of “cute-aggression” that gets exasperated by V’s smothering, so it’s usually her giving out the bites hjajhd V takes anything she gives him, he’s so touch starved. Rika usually butts in on their time together, but more on that later.

V/Rika affection(or lack thereof) : these two,,,, the apocalyptic disaster couple themselves,,,,, well for starters Rika keeps him at a looooong distance, in most cases. The reason (at least she believes) they broke up in the first place is because rika’s devil was being burned by V’s love, BUT she admits herself that she “needs” v’s light to fuel her darkness. V also feels an obligation to shine his light on her, the initial obsession and intrigue long dead by now, but he still genuinely cares about Rika’s wellbeing, very much so. They “love” and “need” each other like a sick person needs their meds, but the sick person doesn’t feel affectionate towards their medication, right? No real heart-warming connection towards their pill bottle, it’s just something they need to live. In fact, wouldn’t they feel resentful of their medicine?? Having to constantly depend on it for survival, all the while dealing with side effects when they would rather do anything else?? Yeah that’s their relationship lol,,,,,(somebody get a therapist on speed dial) There’s Biting here too, but it’s all Rika, and not at all playful as her bites with MC, and her bites are nowhere near as passionate like the ones MC gives him.

111. JEALOUSY AND INSECURITY

Oooh lord 😭😭😭 Rika’s practically made of it, V unfortunately enables it, and MC cannot stomach it (except when she gets jealous too). Most of their fights (that practically rival ancient Chinese civil wars in casualties) stem from someone (usually Rika, never V) feeling jealous or insecure. It’s a miracle this poly trio even happened. It’s a complete scientific mystery as to how the poly trio is still going.

Rika’s jealousy and insecurity: I could write a detailed analysis on rika’s insecurity that would rival the Lord of the Rings in length and it still wouldn’t convey just how bad she’s got it, so I’ll try and give the cliff notes instead. She feels she “needs” to be loved in order to be validated as a living being, worthy of living happily. So when she feels “left out” (not the center of attention for 2 seconds) she spirals, thinking she’s being left alone just like so many times before in childhood, just like a defective doll her adopted parents didn’t want, and that maybe they were right, she couldn’t possibly deserve love. Panicking, she usually interrupts whatever V and MC have going on, and insists on reassurance of their love for her, and if she feels she’s being slighted, she’ll fly into a rage, handing out punishments and tests of love, but you can tell she’s biased cause MC’s “punishment” is being confined to Rika’s comfy bedroom for a week and V’s punishment is being locked in the dungeon for 3 weeks 😭😭😭😒😒😒 Usually best case scenario is

V/MC enjoying a moment together alone cuddling

Rika immediately being alerted via her sixth sense

Rika barging in like “make room bitches”

Rika settling smack dab between them lol

MC’s jealous and insecurity: She HATES Rika’s jealous fits so fuckin much lmaoooo 🤭. She convinces herself she would never get jealous ever…… which is an outright LIE it just manifests differently and less often. She hates V’s tendency to distance himself from her to appease Rika, it makes her insecurity flare badly, cue her starting a spat with Rika, and hoping V will take her side. It’s stupid, petty, and downright goofy behavior honestly, but it’s her first relationship (good lord) and she’s got the worst fucking partners ever 🫠🫠🫠 how else is a sheltered neurodivergent girl in her early 20s to cope.

V’s (non existent) jealousy and insecurity: As you have correctly guessed,,,,,, V is definitely not a jealous man HJDDSJSJSF 😂😂😂😂 He is weirdly secure in the relationship, due to Rika’s dependence on his “light” and though his relationship with MC is very new, he feels the tight bond (trauma bond lol) they have and doesn’t worry about whether or not she’ll leave him, also due in part to the fact he doesn’t worry about them not returning his affections, he’s more worried about whether or not he deserves to love or be loved in the first place. If he found out one of them saw someone else outside the trio, he wouldn’t be upset besides somehow twisting the event into somehow being his fault like “if my light was strong enough they wouldn’t have had to go somewhere else for it, was I neglecting them??? 😢😢😢”(poor guy) This trait of his tends to set the other two off, as they mistake his laidback “I’m cool with everything” security as aloofness, and spiral into their insecurity 😑😑😑 it also has the hilarious (debatable) effect of usually ending spats between Rika and MC.

*Rika and MC arguing over something* “V!! What do you think?? Whose side are you on!?”

V:*deep breath* I think you’re both right. 😇😇😇

“Are you fucking kidding me-“ “SEE I TOLD YOU, isn’t he infuriating????” “V just pick a side!!!” “THATS WHAT IM SAYING!!” “Ugh you’re so right-“

(queue lesbianism, hilarity ensues)

They’re a complete disaster together, but you’d have to have the strength of fucking Zeus to separate them, it’s ludicrous.

[breakerwhiskey]

217 - TWO HUNDRED SEVENTEEN

Please visit breakerwhiskey.com for more information or to send a message to Whiskey's radio. Breaker Whiskey is an Atypical Artists production created by Lauren Shippen. If you'd like to support the show, please visit patreon.com/breakerwhiskey.

Transcript under the cut. For more episodes, click here.

[click, static]

Breaker, breaker, this is Whiskey Alpha Romeo calling out for anyone else who might be out there.

[click, static]

Maybe my mistake this whole time was not staying in the Northeast—everything is so close here, and now that I know why—or at least, I have an idea why certain people are here and others aren’t—it stands to reason that most of the people who’d be in this place would be in the Northeast. That’s where most of my life was centered and…

Well, I guess there’s no point in using any callsign or code name. If I have other enemies out there beside Junior…well, I’m not sure who they’d be and I’m not sure how it gets worse, so…

[click, static]

Breaker, breaker, Channel 19, this is Abi Rogers driving through New England, looking for other survivors.

[click, static]

Maybe it’s strange to use that word. What did we survive? The last seven years living on our own I guess. Survivors of my mistake.

In any case, I’m zig-zagging as I move up north, just to be safe, and I’m going to be on this channel all day on the off chance I come into someone’s radius. A long shot, I know, but I’ve been feeling more optimistic lately.

It’s odd, isn’t it? Not too long ago, I came face to face with a man who wanted to kill me and then one of my mysterious fair weather friends tried to repeat that particularly unpleasant encounter. By all accounts, I should be feeling the most downtrodden and scared that I’ve felt since I got arrested.

But finding an old friend, someone I truly never thought I would see again…it’s like air in my lungs. Despite being alone, Donnie really is so much the same person he was when we first met. It’s like a warm cup of coffee, talking to him, hearing his ridiculous stories, being teased by him. It’s easy to fall back into the regular patterns.

The other day I said he thought I was softer than I was, but what he actually said was “you seem sadder than you were, Abi”. Which I guess I can’t fault him for noticing. Even with how happy I was to see him, there’s still this cloud…

I don’t know if I realized how much it had sunk into who I am. Loneliness isn’t new for me, hardship, fear—while there have been new kinds of challenges these last seven years, the fundamentals of who I am haven’t encountered anything they can’t bear.

I have been missing people more than I thought I would. As in—if you’d told me a decade ago that I’d be stuck in a place without strangers, a place where I just had to focus on living, and I could technically do whatever I want, I’m not sure I would’ve seen that as a bad deal. But the reality…well, being with Don has just put into stark focus just how much I miss talking to people. Being in New York reminded me just how much I loved getting lost in a crowd.

So there was bound to be some change in demeanor, I think that’s pretty normal. I have no idea how Donnie was able to stay sane by himself all these years, how he was able to stay so much the same.

I think being around Harry has been making me sad for a really long time. It’s a funny thing, that. When I first told Donnie that that’s where I’ve been—that Harry and I have been hiding out—he made a joke that I’d won the top prize in this shitty world. That he often felt like locking the two of us in a room until we could work things out.

I had no idea—that our…dynamic was so apparent to other people. But according to him, it was a point of discussion amongst the other three. Which is absolutely mortifying and also, strangely validating. So he was plenty happy for me that I’d finally been given the time and space to knock down whatever wall was holding us back. He couldn’t comprehend why, over six years, we never managed to do it.

And, of course, I can’t really tell him why, can I. I didn’t understand why myself until the months before I left, didn’t understand why Harry kept herself at arm’s length, I took her coldness for disinterest, not guilt. So I just told Donnie that we’re both too stubborn to make the first step. After all, that’s not exactly wrong.

(sigh) I don’t know, maybe it’ll be different this time. Maybe now that everything’s out in the open, now that we know why we’re here, that it was my fault, now that we’ve got a little bit of the gang back together…

I’m not saying I’m over it. I’m not saying forgiveness is that easy, but maybe…maybe we can move forward.

Either way, I don’t feel sad anymore. Not like I have been. The loneliness that I felt with Harry, that got worse these past months as I’ve driven all around this country, that was at it’s most engulfing when I found Leann…it’s like that weight has been lifted off of me. Moving forward shouldn’t be so hard now that I’m not dragging it.

[click, static]

[x-on-the-calendar-business]

ryan ross iceberg (tier 7)

tier 1, tier 2, tier 3, tier 4, tier 5, tier 6, tier 8

deep waters:

light up skechers fancam:

this is a fancam made by twitter user fleetwood_wac. the background song is skechers by dripreport, and i think it was a tiktok song? (i don’t have tiktok) in 2020/2021, it became famous on ryan ross stan twitter. i don’t think the original tweet is still up, but aryn has it in this reply.

side note, if you weren’t on ryan ross stan twitter in 2020, you were sorely missing out.

go figure. to late honey:

this is a quote from one of ryan’s livejournal posts from july 3, 2005. it’s SO iconic.

zrosswald:

this refers to ryan/z berg/alex greenwald. i think it’s meant to refer more to their friendship; the golden trio, if you will. however, i’m sure there are people who genuinely ship them all together, just like rydan.

they have been a tight group for a while, as z and alex both played with the young veins some. also, ryan and alex made appearances at z’s prom events.

eta: as i suspected, this is definitely a real ship.

here's a tumblr post explaining the ship dynamics a bit more. this blog has a lot of zrosswald content if you're interested!

kale:

on thanksgiving of 2011, ryan tweeted this:

in 2021, it became a meme in the ryan stan twitter community, and people tagged gordan ramsay in the tweet, asking his opinion on ryan’s cooking.

first male model for mac:

the story goes that in the fever era, the makeup company mac offered ryan a spot to be their first male model. unfortunately, he declined. according to the comments on a livejournal post i found, ryan discussed this in a 2006 spin magazine interview [i]. there were scans of the interview, but sadly, they’re not available, like most pictures on lj. it hasn’t been archived either.

the same commenter says that article doesn’t specifically mention mac, though. mac did offer ryan free products, but he doesn’t say if he accepted them [i].

so, it’s unsure if ryan was offered to be mac’s male model (unless there’s another source i’ve missed) or another brand’s. either way he turned it down. my guess is that the mac idea came from the fact that he used mac’s products back then.

beef with pete wentz:

after the split, brendon got pete in the divorce.

in a MTV interview that ryan did in 2009, it says “…he wishes Urie and Smith well and still considers them both to be his friends…The same cannot be said, however, about his former boss -- Decaydance Records honcho/ Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wentz -- who seems to have clearly aligned himself with the Urie/Smith camp following the split" [ii].

in the same interview, ryan specifically says:

"I haven't spoken to him in a while, since this happened. I guess I've been meaning to call him back. He called me, but I've missed a lot of phone calls this week," Ross said. "We're not sure [whether Ross' and Walker's new band will be on Wentz's Decaydance Records]. I'll have to talk to him, but obviously from what's happening online, I think he's ... he's written a lot about them. I don't know if they're working together on their stuff. I'm not really sure, but it's been awhile since we've spoken. It's strange. It's kind of weird" [ii].

the author of the article speculates that ryan and pete’s friendship is over [ii]. i can’t find the source for this, nor can i remember what the specific comments were, but i swear that pete did make some shady comments about ryan at one point.

however, it does seem that their relationship is not on negative terms currently. in 2016, pete tweeted this and this about ryan [iii] [iv]. also, this year (2023), pete mentioned ryan in a video fall out boy posted of pete reviewing his old fashion! you can watch it here:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Fall Out Boy (@falloutboy)

i’m also going to link an article i found that chronicles ryan and pete’s entire relationship, which is an interesting read (although i get the feeling they’re a little biased against ryan…).

ryan’s pet turtles:

i can’t find the post or comment, but on a lj post, ryan commented “this reminds me of when my dad ran over my pet turtles with the lawn mower. thanks.”

“i went to high school with ryan:”

i have two sources for this, and i’m not sure of which one is the original. however, this one is the one i remember seeing first (around 2014).

on tumblr, someone sent in an ask saying essentially the same thing, also in 2014.

i know that both are referring to the same thing; i’m just not sure if the first pic is based on the ask, or if the ask is based on the image. either way, the sentiment is the same.

honestly, i don’t think this story is true. still funny nonetheless

hot girls eating pizza:

this is another one i cannot find a source for anywhere (not even a tweet mentioning it), even though i was able to in the past. i apologize.

but i’m pretty sure that what this is about is a tweet/social media post in which he referred to hot girls eating pizza.

if anyone has a source or more information on this one though, please let me know!!

(i was going to dm the creator of one of the icebergs i referenced to ask her, but twitter won’t allow me to send dms to someone who doesn’t follow me unless i pay for twitter blue. i’m committed to explaining this iceberg but not enough to give elon musk my money i fear)

sent to an island:

in an alternative press interview from 2018, z said that on christmas eve, she shipped ryan off to an island to clear his head. ryan says, “true story” [v].

kate moss playboy:

in the following picture from ryan’s instagram, you can see a kate moss playboy on the table.

hentai:

in the fever era, panic did interviews for a japanese magazine. someone ran ryan’s portion through an image translation, and it brought back something about hentai.

eta: update, twitter user givememallce bought the actual magazine from japan and provided us with translations of this image and the questions the band was answering! they also included the answers from the rest of the band if you're curious about those [vi]. so the biggest shoutout to them and their service.

fake wedding with z:

in 2009, ryan and z pretended to be married. ryan tweeted a picture of z with a wedding ring, called her his wife, and also tweeted a quote of her calling him “the best husband ever” [vii].

later, he tweeted that his wife left in the middle of the night. he then had a revelation:

the best part is that all of these events took place within a single day.

here’s the masterpost with all the details:

not actually 5’11:

this is a conspiracy that ryan is lying about his height.

one piece of evidence was that brendon is 5’9, meaning ryan would be 2 inches taller than him. however, in a lot of photos they look to be relatively the same height.

the other piece is that multiple fans who have met ryan said that compared to their own heights, he can’t be 5’11. i don’t have specific sources of people saying that, but i know it was discourse on twitter at one point.

next is the final entry in the iceberg, where we get into the most obscure stuff the iceberg has to offer and finish this thing up.

tier 8

references:

[i] https://bandfandom-ref.livejournal.com/133181.html

[ii] https://www.mtv.com/news/1fedpk/exclusive-ryan-ross-talks-about-leaving-panic-at-the-disco

[iii] https://twitter.com/petewentz/status/794988164901261312

[iv] https://twitter.com/petewentz/status/795025751930114048

[v] https://www.altpress.com/ryan-ross-z-berg-the-bad-list/

[vi] https://twitter.com/GIVEMEMALlCE/status/1695649402663363028

[vii] https://pathetic-at-the-disco.tumblr.com/post/180912208431/ryan-ross-and-z-bergs-wedding-masterpost

[jesstasticvoyage]

Opinions on these DJATS ships?: (book and show) Karengraham, Daisybilly,Edmila, Warrenlisa. Also, Rod Reyes is an underrated DJATS character and I loved his ending.

Oh boy… 😂 weeeeeeell. My memory isn’t the best and my opinions between book and show ships tend to blur. Except for Edmila since that one didn’t exist in the book.

Karengraham - I felt that they were always meant to be a fling as soon as you realized Karen and Graham had different views on the future. Don’t get me wrong, I loved their dynamic and thought they had great chemistry but Graham wanted someone to settle down and have a family with which didn’t match what Karen wanted out of life.

DaisyBilly- this is such a complicated mess. Personally, after everything Billy went through with his father issues, lack of self control, low confidence, you name it. He needed to spend more time with recovery and see a therapist. To me, Daisy turned into a new kind of drug for him that he clearly couldn’t get enough of. Now, this is where it gets messy because I am in the camp (as unpopular as this is) that believes he was in love with two different women at the same time. I also think that even though the book never came out and acknowledged it that, to me, he did cheat on Camila with Daisy. The reactions were far too dramatic for it to be a near kiss (in the book) and a parking lot kiss (in the show). I wish the show and book went into more about how long and what happened after Camila passed away for Billy to see Daisy. And, I don’t know if this is because I’m getting older or what, but I do feel that if I was in Camila’s place I would want to encourage my husband to seek happiness and not let it die with me. Again, this is so complicated and one of those discussions that can go on and on. There’s a lot of emotions and history and unknowns here. Plus the cheating on both Billy and Camilas part further complicates it. When he was WITH Camila physically and emotionally it made me warm and fuzzy inside. They worked well together and were really lovey dovey in their scenes. Just watching them together is a guaranteed smile from me. When he was with Daisy you can see just how charged and alive he is creatively and that creativity was his passion. Daisy shared that same passion with him, which I also enjoyed seeing play out. I felt very much like Billy (reading and watching every thing unfold) and couldn’t decide which path to choose. Which made the whole experience enjoyable as I usually have a clear cut choice when I watch love triangles. But I know I’m alone in this camp.

EdMila- I know Eddie tends to be the least favorite character, and I didn’t like him in the book, but in the show you can actually see he was in love with Camila. And I feel Camila knew this and used him. It wasn’t a shining moment in her life and as someone who watched her parents marriage fall apart before my eyes (when I was a kid) I can see why she did what she did. Doesn’t make it right as she and Billy should have ended things before it reached that point. Divorce wasn’t unheard of during that time but hell, Camila did warn Billy their relationship would be over if he loves Daisy. But sometimes severing a relationship gets harder to do especially when children are involved. (I see this with the domestic abuse cases through my job)

WarrenLisa - They were perfect for each other. I wish the show talked more about them seeing each other and for how long like the book did.

SimoneBernie - I wanted more of them!! God, they were the only healthy relationship in the whole show. It makes me mad a lot of people found their episode boring when it was the one of my favorites!

Rod Reyes - 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 I wanted him to find love on the show but I guess they didn’t have time to incorporate that. There really should have been at least 2 more episodes since there was SO much that could have been added.

[dotspoetrycorner]

Rise of the Pink Ladies Cynthia x OC Part 7

Chapter 7: Frosty Palace

Ella’s POV

After ditching the pep rally I went to the frosty palace. I didn’t know where else to go, my parents expected me to be at the school and I couldn’t explain to the why I left. So here I am in the almost empty diner, drinking a milkshake and rethinking all my choices. 

I know Susan’s just upset and is looking for any reason to be more upset, but how can you publicly humiliate someone like that? But what else can I do, they are the only way to get though the year.

The pep rally must be over because the diner starting filling with people, I really just wanted to go home at this point, so I quickly finished my drink and left. I had just managed to weave my way through all the people and cars when I ran into someone. They were running and the impact was hard, making me fall flat on the ground. 

“Watch where you’re-“ I started to yell but then I looked up and saw Cynthia. “Oh- I’m so sorry!” She said frantically, trying to help me up. “Why are you in such a rush?” I asked. “Im just trying to get home.” She replied. “Me too. Rough night?” She nodded, “Yeah. After what happened at the pep rally, I-“ “what happened at the pep rally? I left early.” I guess something pretty big. “The t-birds said they would let me join them if I came up with a plan to get back at those stupid socs for embarrassing Richie… no offense, but your friends are awful.” She explained. “I don’t even know if they’re my friends anymore. Not after they wanted to embarrass Jane like that.” 

After walking for a while I realized Cynthia and I should have parted ways by this point, she’s walking in the opposite direction from her house. “You don’t go this way.” “I’m walking you home” She replied. “You really don’t have to-“ “I’m walking you home.” Alright then. We just kept walking in silence. It’s so weird, we used to be able to talk for hours, talk about anything and everything, and now we’re struggling to find even one thing to talk about. 

Cynthia was the first to speak, “so… are you caught up on the English assignment?” I just looked at her, that was the best she could come up with? She continued, “Look, I’m strapped for conversation here and you like books.” I laughed, “After Of Mice and Men, Animal Farm, and The Catcher in the Rye, Little Women is an amazing change. I’m on my third re-read.” I glanced over at Cynthia, she was just staring at me, smiling. “What?” I asked, “Nothing. That’s just very you.” I looked down, it’s weird, our dynamic is the same as it used to be but now I get this weird feeling when she’s around. She spoke again, “I didn’t mind it at first, I actually kind of liked it. Jo was cool, then she got into all that love crap, I couldn’t get through it.” 

That conversation broke the ice and we were back to exactly how I remember us being. But eventually we arrived at my house. “This is me. Thank you, you turned my really bad night into a pretty okay one.” I said and hugged Cynthia. She tensed up for a second then hugged back. That feeling came back. I told her goodnight then started walking up my driveway, hearing a soft “goodnight” as I walked into my house.

I was greeted by my mom. “Was that Cynthia out there?” She asked. “Yes” I replied. “I didn’t know you two were still friends.” “I’m really tired. Im going to sleep, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” I said, quickly walking up the stairs. Its not that I didn’t want to tell me mom what had happened that night, but it’s a long story and she just wouldn’t understand. 

lying in bed I couldn’t sleep, all I could do is think. I couldn’t be friends with Cynthia again and keep my other friends, and they have been really rude the past couple of days, and Cynthia and I have always been great friends for one another. But Susan, Dot, Rosemary, and Pearl have been with me through the past 6 years, through everything. I don’t know what to do.

[veryace-ficrecs]

Co-parents buddie fic recs

This list will include all ratings and tags, so read at your own discretion! :)

this is the family (i found, i made) by sarcastic_fina - Rated G

Buck grinned as he led Christopher to the bus, where a harried looking woman with a clipboard took a glance at Chris before ticking off a box on her paperwork. Her attention then redirected to Buck. "Mr. Diaz? I don't think we've met. I'm Christopher's Art teacher." "Mrs. Conrad." Buck pointed at her knowingly. "I'm a fan. Your homework assignments are my favorite. Mostly because I can do them." She laughed. "Glad to hear it. But I didn't think we'd be seeing you. Chris mentioned his dad would be at work today." "Oh, that's—" "Daddy is working," Christopher informed her. "This is Buck. He's my other dad." Or, Christopher refers to Buck as his dad for the first time, and Buck has feelings.

#LAFDads by ipretendtobesane - Rated G

@coolestttchris he/him my dads are dumb but I love them a lot :) (but don’t tell them i said that) or, chris gets a tiktok, buck and eddie go viral

(Un)Complicated Words by holyfudgemonkeys (erraticallyinspired) - Rated T

Buck knows what it's like to be young and awkward, so he doesn't bring attention to it. --- Or 5 times Christopher calls Buck 'Dad' and 1 time Buck realizes it's intentional.

the wood marked for your fire by hattalove - Rated T

“Chim. Weird question?” Chimney’s chair creaks. Buck cranes his head over the back of the couch and watches him straighten up, pop his back, close the folder. “You only ever ask me weird questions,” he says, and then crosses the loft to sit in one of the armchairs. He levels Buck with a look that’s way too knowing for the amount of words they’ve exchanged. “What’s up?” He takes a breath. “What does it feel like to be a dad?”  in which buck is used to wanting things he's not allowed to have; it's just that he never thought being a father would be one of them.

Christopher's Other Daddy by rant_girl - Rated T

What if Eddie and Ana's first meeting had gone a little differently? Set right after they have finished discussing Christopher and before Eddie leaves the classroom.

5+1 Times People Call Them a Family by sunshinedrift - Not Rated

5 times someone points out that Eddie, Buck, and Christopher make an adorable family and 1 time where they say they are family.

when things fall into place by woodchoc_magnum - Rated M

In which Eddie asks Buck to move in with them during lockdown to help look after Christopher, which leads to certain unresolved feelings being resolved.

when you want by likeshipsonthesea - Rated T

Summary

As Eddie pulls into their neighborhood, Christopher breaks the quiet to say, “Hey Dad?” “Hmm?” “How come Siena calls Buck your husband?” *~*~* or, Christopher's instructor from the horse therapy place assumes Buck is Eddie's husband, Eddie doesn't correct her, and when Christopher asks why, it prompts what might be Eddie's most interesting session with Frank yet.

Five times Buck is Eddie’s co-parent + One time he is Eddie’s everything by Finduilas - Rated

Kind of exactly what it says on the tin? A mix of this Tumblr prompt: Buddie platonic co-parenting to very slow burn to something more fic....? I think it’s an interesting dynamic for them to both be accepting platonic co-parents.... which they realized together through talking about it and then very slowly edge into other things without the pining/unrequited love concept... like they discuss things together and then they’re like “well yeah I guess we could try going one step further” bc they know no matter what they will always be friends - and me yelling at @stellarm that I needed fic where Eddie wants Buck to be Christopher's legal guardian before they're even together.

Actually, Truly by MilenaDaniels - Rated T

Summary

Isabel calls to tell them Eddie's been shot on a Thursday afternoon and by lunch on Friday Helena and Ramon are landing at LAX. When they land, they learn Eddie's already home recovering and has been for two weeks. ---- Or, Helena (and Ramon) tries to find a way back into Eddie's life and doesn't know what to make of finding Buck around every corner she turns.

Finding Home by S_lycopersicum - Rated T

"Buck!" Eddie yelled as he turned his key in the loft door and dumped his suitcase inside. He immediately got a startled "Eddie?" in response, and thank God for that because if Buck had been out running errands it would have been the last damn straw. But he was here, where Eddie needed him to be, and pounding down the stairs from the stupid platform thing he had instead of a normal bedroom. "Is everything OK?" "No! You won't answer your goddamn phone and my house is full of bees."

Something so Magic about You by Distressed_Ladybug15 - Rated T

Eddie probably looked really stupid right now. “Buck-switched it?” Bobby nodded. “Yeah, he’s taking a nap in the bunks right now.” He looked over at Eddie and tilted his head. “What’s so special about tonight?” Eddie blinked, “Um- It’s Chris’ science fair.” He looked out the window and over at the people talking by the kitchen. “Didn’t Buck work a 24-hour, and then cover Alvez for overtime?” Bobby nodded. “Has he left the station in two days?” Bobby blew out a breath of air and shook his head. “I had him do the coffee run, you know, change of scenery. I also made him take a nap which is probably the only reason he’s sleeping right now. I have Johnson babysitting him, to make sure he actually sleeps.” Eddie rubbed his face with his hands and sighed heavily. “That’s just so…” He lets out a strangled laugh. “Buck.” Bobby supplied. “You should talk to him.” He muttered as more of an afterthought. “About which thing?” Eddie gave Bobby a look and Bobby gave a look right back. About the fact that he needs to take better care of himself or the fact, you’re in love with him.

some of it's just transcendental by fallingthorns - Rated T

Buck smiles as Eddie leans in and presses a soft kiss to his lips, and Buck feels himself grinning further against his mouth and kissing back before Eddie pulls away, too soon and with that same soft smile on his lips. He eases the bags fully out of Buck’s arms and turns to head into the kitchen, and Buck watches him go with such a fond smile that he feels like he’s going to explode. And then he freezes and stares at Eddie’s retreating form, his heart constricting in his chest as his brain struggles to catch up with the events of the last twenty seconds. Because kissing? Is not something they have ever done before.

drench yourself in words unspoken by foxwatson - Rated T

Romance is a lot easier to write about than it is to put into practice, and Eddie is the world’s most ridiculous living example of that. He can practically hear the kind of jokes that Shannon would make about it, if he ever told her about the books but - he didn’t. And somehow, probably just because he didn’t start writing until after they weren’t living together anymore, she never found out. There’s actually only a handful of people in the world who know that Eddie is a writer - and more specifically, that he’s E. Diaz, one of the bestselling romance authors on the market. or - the one where everything in canon is the same, except eddie diaz is secretly a bestselling romance author, and nobody knows. Yet.

with you is where i wanna be (take me home) by honestlydarkprincess - Rated T

“C’mon, Buck. Let’s go.” Eddie said, coming up behind him and clapping him on the back. Buck cracked one eye open and turned to look at his best friend. “Huh?” “You’re coming home with me,” Eddie replied, not even looking at Buck as he opened his own locker and started pulling out things to shove into his duffle bag. “You have spare clothes and everything else you need to spend the night already at the house. I’ll bring you back here tomorrow so you can get your car.” Buck hummed in answer, too tired to come up with words for a proper reply. Or, the one in which Buck is too exhausted to drive himself home so Eddie takes him back to his place. Includes Buckley-Diaz family fluff, pining, and sleepy cuddles.

your touch brought forth an incandescent glow by eddiesdiaz - Rated T

They don’t make a big deal of telling everyone the news — aside from Christopher, which Buck had been endearingly nervous about — because honestly, fundamentally, nothing changes. Everyone already knows, really, so Buck and Eddie don’t feel like they need to broadcast it. They do their best to keep it professional at the station, for the most part, but sometimes their small but intimate touches seep into the work day without them even consciously realizing it. (Or, Buck and Eddie share soft touches at work, and the team notices and comes to conclusions.)

all that we need by not1_2write - Rated M

When Buck buys a Powerball lottery ticket he doesn't think much beyond his need for change to air up his tire. He forgets all about the ticket until word spreads that the winning ticket was sold in LA and hasn't been claimed yet and pretty much dismisses it. After all, there's no way he won the lottery. Turns out no, he really did win the Powerball, to the tune of 295 million dollars and just in time for Christmas. He's going to make sure the 118 has the best Christmas of their lives. And just maybe he'll have a good one too.