#I guess I'm just 'getting old'
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Sometimes I feel so out of touch with online communities
#I was scrolling through the BC tag and I just... failed to connect with a good number of the memes#Like I don't mind them but they don't make me laugh either#I guess I'm just 'getting old'#Out of touch#But it's fine#I don't need to understand the mainstream way of doing things to enjoy myself#People enjoy a good show whether it's a coronation or an execution#And the best I can give is a poetry recital#(that's a reference to an irl convo but I felt it fits here too)#personal#Me just wondering about the world
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Interesting how one sad worm almost turned the world upside down
#dragon age#veilguard spoilers#solas#lavellan#aideen lavellan#solavellan#i guess?#fen'harel#*sigh*#I don't want to think deeply about veilguard#I just take the few things I liked and treat the rest as uh weird fanfiction#I don't even want to break it down any longer because it makes me sad#maybe I'm also a sad worm like Solas#I went back to the old Dragon Age games to get a feel for something 😭#ik i'm being dramatic but uhh the game was very mid for me#too many plot holes and simplifications and...okay I'll shut up now#I'll just enjoy what I liked#my art
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I may be reaching corn plate levels here but I do like thinking about the music player in Silco's office.
Silco turning The Last Drop into a nightclub coincides with the general consensus that Young Silco was one for dancing his heart out.
Yet it's hard for me to picture Present Silco having much joy left in him to dance.
But maybe some nights when the horrors are quiet enough he clicks it on and allows himself to let loose for a moment before it all gets a bit too nostalgic. Especially when dancing alone.
#arcane#silco#young silco#zaundads#if you squint but who are we kidding#he'll always remember dancing with vander#he just slotted in so well#listen i bake for a living#my mind wanders to them a LOT#i guess i'm never gonna get over#the dramatic contrast between young and old silco#glitteryrainboys bestie at arms once pointed out#how he just doesnt look like he's enjoying any of this#and i havent been able to stop thinking about it tbh#it all stems back to the night by the river#down down down by the ri*gunshot*
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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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Kira has a nightmare, one night when she's staying at the O'Brien's. Miles and Keiko, sleeping in the other room, don't hear her get up - but Molly does.
And Molly, being clever and kind, knows exactly what to do when someone has a nightmare. (Or, at least, she knows what her parents always do for her.) So she sits Kira down and brings her a glass of warm milk, and sits by her side as she drinks it.
Then, she takes Kira by the hand and leads her - to her parents bedroom. "I always sleep with mommy and daddy after a nightmare," she explains, when Kira stops outside the door. "It helps! Mommy chases the scary things away. And Daddy is warm."
"Molly," Kira says quietly, a little embarrassed, "I don't think your parents want me in their bed. Even if I did have a nightmare."
"No, they won't mind!" Molly assures.
Then, of course, Miles wakes up.
"Molly?" he asks, voice rough with sleep. "Did you have a nightmare?"
"No, but Miss Kira did!"
And now Keiko's awake, too, sitting up and saying, "Nerys? Are you alright?"
Mortified, Kira says, "Yes, I'm fine, I was just - on my way back to bed. Molly brought me here. I'm - sorry for waking you. I'll just be-"
"You can stay, if you want," Miles offers.
Kira doesn't quite think she heard him right. "What?"
"You can sleep here, if you think it might help," Keiko says.
"Or even if you don't!" Miles adds.
Kira opens her mouth, then closes it again. "I, uh-"
Keiko gets up, and takes Kira, gently, by the hand. Her palm is soft, Kira can't help but notice.
"Brr, it's freezing out here!" Keiko says, tugging Kira along. "You'd better get in before you catch your death of cold. Miles is practically a furnace, so you'll be nice and warm with us."
"And, Molly, you'd best go back to bed, too. You've got school in the morning," Miles says, as Keiko bundles Kira into the bed between them.
As Molly makes her way out, Keiko swings a lazy arm over Kira's back. "Sleep," she hums. "We'll be here in the morning."
Kira, feeling warm and cared for and more than a little overwhelmed, does.
#tbh molly may be a bit too old for this to be fully in character at this point#UNLESS she knows Exactly what she's doing and is simply Plotting to get her parents to kiss their crush#also i don't remember if molly is still saying 'mommy' and 'daddy' at that point? we might just not see her talk much at all#i think molly's like. um. 9? maybe? at that point which means that i'm for sure writing her too young#or maybe not. idk. i don't know enough about kids to write them well lmao. i'm tryin my best. what are “children”.#does this count as a ficlet? maybe. idk. it's not my real writing style but i guess it's still a ficlet.#anyways this is a free fic idea if anyone wants to do it more justice#since i don't think i'll ever flesh it out and save it from my Lazy Tumblr Post writing style#star trek#ds9#star trek deep space nine#kira nerys#keiko o'brien#miles o'brien#molly o'brien#the o'brien polycule#kira x miles x keiko#is there a good tag for this ship? an accepted ship name? tell me if it exists because i do not know it
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i rewatched the persona 3 stage plays and i'm insane about shinjiham all over again. what do you MEAN she had a dream where she talked to him before the final battle and they promised to see each other again? what do you MEAN he speaks the last words in the whole entire play, "I'm here, Kotone. Just like we promised," implying that it was a SHARED dream???
oh and don't even FUCKING get me started on this
#shinjiham#persona 3#shinjiro aragaki#kotone shiomi#persona 3 the weird masquerade#persona#foolmoon#did i really forget to tag foolmoon? i'm a dumbass#the way he fucking looks at her i can't 😭😭#bitch he reached out to her and she grasped his hand and then i 😭#ray fujita & kana asumi amazing fucking job i'm sobbing#also ray fujita fine as hell!!! they could not have cast shinjiro any better#sorry persona 3 just makes me go crazy#mine#persona 3 spoilers#i guess??? portable is 15 years old but i guess people are getting into p3re so. there#RAAAGH THEY DRIVE ME CRAZYYYYY#ok sorry. normal again#FUCK why didn't i post this on october 4th#shinjiro posting#update: now with better quality!#i have another post captioning what they said but like just Look At Them
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[CN] Li Zeyan’s Candlelight Date (Eng Translation)
⌚Warning⌚ This post contains detailed spoilers for a date, 烛火之约, that is yet to be released on the global server! ♡
[Translation Under the Cut]
•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•
【Subbed Video】
youtube
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【Chapter 1】
After being stuck in traffic for over forty minutes on the way to the airport, I slam on the brakes once again, staring in despair at the unmoving stream of cars ahead.
The weather outside is gloomy, the sky overcast with heavy dark clouds, and the wind howls through the crevices of the car windows.
Even though the evening has barely fallen, the sky is already darkened completely.
MC: Feels like it’s gonna be pouring hard...
MC: I don’t know if Li Zeyan’s flight has been affected.
Just as I am about to look up the flight information, his call comes in.
LZY: I’ve arrived.
MC: That’s great! It looks like there’s gonna be a heavy downpour outside, so thank goodness you landed on time.
MC: On the downside, though, I’m stuck in traffic...
LZY: Given the weather, I could guess that already.
LZY: Don’t rush, safety first. Turn on your headlights and take your time.
MC: Don’t worry, I promise to follow the traffic rules~ So, I must apologize to CEO Li and ask him to wait for me a little longer~
LZY: No worries, I’ll just take this time to think about what to make for Pudding.
The day Li Zeyan is returning from his business trip also happens to be Pudding’s birthday, and we’ve planned to have a small celebration at home.
As I picture Li Zeyan making a birthday cake for the little kitten, the corners of my lips involuntarily curl upwards.
MC: Pudding’s parents are so thoughtful! The little birthday boy is blessed with the luck of tasty treats today.
MC: Rest assured, I’ll definitely get you to Pudding safely and in one piece.
LZY: With a certain someone “braving the wind and waves” to come pick me up, I’m already luckier than those who can’t get a cab.
MC: Hehe, this time it’s my turn to be the prince who cuts their way through thorns and thistles to rescue the sleeping princess!
LZY: Well, it seems like I’ll have to wait a hundred years then.
MC: ...you just told me to take my time.
A soft chuckle transmits from the other end of the phone, and carried by the car’s stereo, it spreads through the entire space, giving me the illusion as if he is right next to me.
LZY: It’s not contradictory.
LZY: Even if it takes you a hundred years, I’ll still wait.
–
──────
[Tidbits]: This conversation here is a reference to one of Li Zeyan’s earliest ASMRs, “Sleeping Beauty,” where LZY said in response to MC’s question that if he were the prince, he wouldn’t let the girl he loves wait a hundred years. Whereas, in the reverse scenario here, he tells you that if he were the sleeping princess and you the prince, he would gladly wait a hundred years (இдஇ; ) though, for a man who literally did wait 17+10000(*n) years for you— a hundred years is, well, still unbearable to think about ahah (ノಥ益ಥ)
–
•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•
【Chapter 2】
I park the car near the exit, and as soon as I look up, I see Li Zeyan walking towards me, dragging his suitcase.
I immediately push open the car door and run up to him, throwing myself into his arms as hard as I can. Both his hands are occupied by luggage, and I collide against him so hard that he staggers back a few steps.
His familiar scent wraps around me securely, instantly dispelling all the tension and fatigue from the road. I nuzzle against his chest contentedly, earning a soft chuckle from above my head.
LZY: Why the lack of courtesy right off the bat?
MC: I haven’t seen you for days, and I’ve made our big busy person wait so long. I can’t afford to be polite anymore.
Li Zeyan smiles, lets go of the luggage, and draws me into his arms, lowering himself to rest his head on my shoulder.
A soft sigh sounds next to my ear, and I sense how exhausted he is. I put aside my playful thoughts and stroke the back of his head.
MC: I hoped you could get some rest after getting off the plane, but I didn’t expect this weather…
MC: I’ll head out earlier next time!
LZY: You already got here much faster than I expected.
LZY: Let’s go, there’s a birthday boy waiting at home. It’s raining hard outside; I’ll drive on the way back.
┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✄ ┈┈┈┈┈┈
As we head home, rain begins pouring down in torrents. Even with the wipers operating at their highest speed, the visibility only clears for a fleeting moment.
Through the impenetrable curtain of rain, the emergency lights of nearby vehicles flicker faintly. The water pooling on the ground reflects the surroundings like mirrors, and the streets have transformed into an utterly bizarre kaleidoscopic labyrinth.
I hold up my phone to record the scene outside the window when suddenly, a blinding flash of lightning splits the sky not far away, followed by a rolling thunder approaching from the distance, pressing closer and closer.
I can’t help but shrink my neck and set my phone down.
MC: This weather is just ridiculous… I’m sure today’s Moments posts are gonna be flooded with candid shots of the rainstorm.
LZY: A certain someone has made significant strides.
LZY: A few years back, you would get so nervous in this kind of weather that you’d grab onto other people’s clothes. Now, you'd just make a fuss about it on Moments.
MC: Huh? When did I grab onto your clothes?
I turn my head to look at him with a puzzled expression. Li Zeyan glances at me, and before he can even speak, a smile creeps onto the corners of his lips.
LZY: That time when you asked me if I dared to like you.
I freeze for a second, the familiar feeling of nervousness and anticipation surging to the forefront of my mind.
Memories flood back along with the warmth of my cheeks, as I’m reminded of a similar night in the past mirroring this raging storm.
The pitch-black darkness that descended after the power outage was so thick that one wouldn’t even be able to make out their own hand in front of them. I felt like danger, and the unknown would swallow me whole at any moment. But he was there with me, accompanying me for what felt like an eternity on that apocalyptic night.
Back then, I felt like I couldn’t handle it on my own, so I wanted to cling to a straw, to hold onto this steady and exceptionally gentle person beside me.
Snapping out of the reminiscence, I clear my throat to dispel my embarrassment.
MC: Y-You don’t need to remember such things so clearly!
MC: But come to think of it, ever since I met you, I don’t seem to have gotten rained on much.
MC: Even if I forget my umbrella or can’t catch a ride, you always manage to “scoop” me up right on time.
LZY: So, as a result, a certain someone has developed the bad habit of not checking the weather forecast before going out?
MC: …It clearly taught me the good habit of how to “scoop” people up in crucial moments!
The car stops at the intersection, waiting for the traffic light. Li Zeyan casts a glance my way, his lips curving into a smile as he strokes my head.
LZY: Given that the person “scooping” me up is also the one I want to see, it does feel pretty good.
His warm palm rests on my head for a moment before sliding down to my cheek with yearning. A small sense of satisfaction leaps in my heart, and I smile, poking his cheek.
MC: I think I can understand why the prince braves countless perils to reach the princess.
MC: For this moment right now, I’m willing to endure any hardship~
–
──────
[Tidbits]: The call-back of the apocalyptic night is from one of Li Zeyan’s earliest dates, “Doomsday Date,” where MC asks him if he’d dare to like her and if he’d dare to be by her side even if doomsday arrived – and the rest, as they say, is history, quite literally in this case ahah~ (இдஇ; )
–
•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•
【Chapter 3】
“Bzzz!”
As I step through the doorway and flip the switch for the pendant lamp, to my surprise, the light flickers and then abruptly goes out.
The inside of the house is instantly taken over by the dimness from outside the windows. Pudding, who was originally crouching at the door to welcome us, lets out a yelp and scurries under the table.
My mind automatically starts concocting a horror movie scenario, and I immediately step back a few paces.
MC: What did the power suddenly go out? It was perfectly fine before I left...
My words are barely out of my mouth when a series of extremely bright streaks of lightning flash outside the window.
The howling gale rattles the window frames, while the water pipes exposed to the downpour on the side of the building, pelted by large raindrops, are making peculiar noises.
The continuous flashes of lightning project the wildly swaying shadows of the trees onto the floor, making the storm outside seem even more terrifying.
Li Zeyan sighs and steps forward, taking hold of my hand that is frozen in mid-air.
LZY: Are there any spare lights or flashlights in the house?
MC: Yes, there are, in my room...
While saying this, I clutch Li Zeyan’s arm and carefully start walking towards my room. A hand reaches out and pulls me into a familiar embrace.
LZY: Wasn’t a certain someone “scooping people up” pretty amazingly just now? Why are you so nervous now that we’re home?
MC: ...I guess I’ve been overdoing it with the horror movies lately, and the after-effects are still a bit strong.
I laugh awkwardly and, relying on the dim light of the flashlight, dig out a large, bulging bag from the storage box.
MC: Rechargeable desk lamps, some decorative fairy lights, and lanterns.
MC: They should work if we plug them into the power bank.
LZY: ...That’s it?
MC: They can provide light and serve as tools to set the ambiance. Isn’t that wonderful?
Li Zeyan turns on a palm-sized rechargeable desk lamp and releases a small sigh.
LZY: In that case, the gift I brought you can also be included to make up the difference.
MC: Huh? What gift?
Li Zeyan rummages through his suitcase, takes out an exquisitely wrapped box, and gestures for me to open it.
I lean in closer and find a very charming candle holder with a glass cover nestled inside.
MC: It’s so beautiful! As expected, CEO Li’s eye for things can never go wrong.
LZY: Simultaneously doing the job of adding flowers to the brocade and delivering charcoal in snowy weather一 it definitely seems to be maximizing its value.
LZY: Come on, let’s go and light up all the lamps that we can use first.
┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✄ ┈┈┈┈┈┈
With me “lending a hand” by holding the flashlight through the entire process, dinner and Pudding’s salmon cake are soon prepared.
Pudding, who had been hiding in the corner this entire time, also forgets his fear under the temptation of delectable food and begins prancing around again.
After eating and drinking to our fill, I sit on the carpet with another small blanket, light a scented candle, and carefully set it in the candle holder Li Zeyan gifted me.
Li Zeyan then casually plops down at the foot of the bed where I’m leaning, naturally stretching out his arm for me to use as a pillow.
I look at Pudding grooming his fur not far away and can’t help but sigh with emotion.
MC: Time sure flies! Pudding has grown another year older. I wonder what progress he’ll make this year.
LZY: He wasn’t very brave when he was younger, but now he, too, looks after the house on his own and appears to be fairly calm and composed.
MC: Why did you use “too“? I suspect you’re insinuating something about someone else.
LZY: Just stating facts.
LZY: The way a certain someone acted when she walked into the house earlier didn’t exactly resemble the “prince“ who came to pick me up.
I glance again at the flashes of lightning and thunder rolling outside again, scratching my cheek awkwardly.
MC: The house just went dark all of a sudden; I wasn’t mentally prepared.
LZY: What about now?
LZY: Are you still scared?
I turned sideways to watch him. The dancing candlelight paints his side profile in a warm glow, and the subtle fragrance of the scented candle melds into his calm gaze, making me gradually relax.
I hug his arm and pull him into my arms, beaming a wide smile at him.
MC: I have my “fragrant princess“ in my arms now, and I fear neither getting swept by wind nor being battered by rain any longer. [3]
LZY: Are we sure about who’s in whose arms?
MC: Does it really make a difference who’s in whose arms?
Li Zeyan gives me a look that says “whatever you say,” and I smile victoriously at having my way before turning to glance at the pitch-black darkness outside the window.
The small lights in the room are mirrored on the glass, reminiscent of stars, blurring into a cluster of halos by the unrelenting rain.
Serenity and turmoil are separated by only a wall. I grasp his wrist and tilt my head, pillowing into his palm and nuzzling against it.
MC: Luckily, you came back today. Otherwise, I would have definitely dragged you into “simmering a pot of telephone congee” with me all night long. [4]
LZY: That wouldn’t have been too bad either.
MC: Well, that’s true, but it would have made me seem like I haven’t grown at all...
I raise my head and look into his slightly puzzled gaze, feeling a little embarrassed as I lower my voice.
MC: I’m clearly not a child anymore, and many of the things I used to fear shouldn’t be a big deal now.
MC: Yet when running into situations where I’m not entirely confident, I can’t help feeling a little afraid.
MC: For instance, a pitch-dark empty house, not being able to find the kitten, and a thunderstorm that I don’t know when will end.
MC: I still can’t seem to be like you, to be able to keep myself from thinking the worst regardless of the kind of situation I’m confronted with...
I soliloquize in a whispered tone, and the palm I’m resting my head on suddenly moves. I look up, and my fingers are immediately swept up in a reassuring warmth.
Li Zeyan is pillowing himself on my bolster, covered by a blanket that is clearly not big enough for him, creating for a rather comical scene. Yet, I find myself solely captivated by his extraordinarily serious gaze.
He quietly watches me like this for some time before finally opening his mouth to respond.
LZY: Then just be afraid.
MC: ...Huh?
LZY: Building courage doesn’t mean you should be absolutely fearless.
LZY: If you have no reaction to the unknown and uncontrollable, that, on the contrary, is dangerous.
LZY: For a dummy, knowing how to dodge in the right direction at a critical moment is also progress.
He strokes the back of my hand meaningfully, and I clasp his fingers even more tightly in tacit understanding.
In moments of fear and anxiety, I always want to hold onto something, to reassure myself that I’m not facing it alone.
And this man in front of me, as fortune would have it, always happens to be within my reach, catching my insecurities and leading me along slowly.
I think back to the first time I “grabbed onto” him, the gentleness in his tone that I had rarely seen, and I can’t help but laugh.
MC: Well then, it seems I’ve been making progress since the first time I grabbed onto your clothes.
LZY: Mm-hmm, it hasn’t been easy.
MC: But I can only advance a little bit at a time. I’ve kept you waiting for so long.
The corners of his lips curl up slightly, and his eyes, sparkling with a smile, gently embrace me.
LZY: This isn’t work; nobody is asking anything from you.
LZY: If you’re afraid, just light up a lamp.
–
──────
[Tidbits]
[3] LI ZEYAN WRITERS!!! CRIES AT THE SACRIFICE I HAD TO MAKE AND HOW THE BEAUTY OF THE WORDPLAY JUST GETS LOST IN TRANSLATION HERE 😭 anywho, as you might’ve already noticed, “rescuing the sleeping princess“ theme and the “seeming“ role reversal has been one of the running themes of this date. The term used here is 软香 (lit. meaning soft fragrance), which is usually used to refer to the delicate scent of a woman or a woman in general and, in the context of the times, a palace beauty. The full term MC uses here is 软香在怀 (lit. meaning having ‘soft fragrance’ in one’s arms), which also conveys a deep emotional closeness, a sense of security and comfort as scent is something very sensitive. What the writing does here is kill three birds with one stone— (i) conveying MC’s “prince and princess role reversal“ quip, while also delivering the emotions of the candlelight monologue two sentences prior, i.e., (ii) the fragrance melding into his calm gaze, the vivid imagery of her sensitivity to his presence itself, (iii) the reassuring effect of his being.
[4] I’m gonna cry; this is such an adorable expression haha 😭 the term MC uses here is “煲电话粥,” which really does mean “simmering telephone congee.” The idea of it is to have a marathon phone call with sb, but it’s more intimate— similar to how simmering sth can take a long time and porridge essentially is a comfort food 😂
–
•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•
【Chapter 4】
The night is dark, and the rain seems to have weakened a bit. I hug the blanket and squeeze onto the small bed with Li Zeyan. No matter in which position we lay down, most of our bodies are pressed against each other.
I watch the person beside me becoming a part of the scene I’ve been familiar with since my childhood days, and for a long time, I find myself unwilling to close my eyes.
MC: It feels so surreal to have you and Pudding together at my place.
MC: It’s like having guests at home, but at the same time, it feels like welcoming new members to the family.
LZY: So, which one do you hope I am?
MC: I’ve long regarded you as the latter in my heart, obviously.
MC: However, this situation makes me seem like I’m not being a gracious host...
MC: Having to deal with the bad weather is one thing, but who knew the electricity in the house would be unstable at a critical moment, and now my bed isn’t big enough either.
I look up at the small pink pillow under Li Zeyan’s head and sigh softly. Li Zeyan, however, just smiles calmly and brushes aside the hair falling over my face.
MC: Be careful when you roll over. If you’re afraid of falling off, just hug me a little tighter~
LZY: [i’m cRY at how he just plays along with you haha] It’s certainly something to be afraid of.
Li Zeyan says this as he gets up to turn off the lights, and the room is plunged into darkness once again.
I reach out my arms towards him and am immediately swept back into his arms.
MC: Thank you, CEO Li~ How about I repay you with a goodnight kiss?
LZY: That’s it?
MC: Then what else do you want?
I blink my eyes at him, and suddenly, he lifts his hand to cover my sight.
A soft warmth captures my lips, swallowing my confusion.
He holds me too tightly in the square of his arms, and his broad palm accidentally presses on my nose, causing my already erratic breathing to become even more difficult to maintain.
I punch him indignantly, and Li Zeyan finally moves his hand away, his fingers cradling my face.
LZY: Didn’t you say you wanted to repay me?
MC: T-This isn’t what I had in mind!
LZY: Is this not good?
His warm finger pads caress the side of my face in a back-and-forth motion, leaving me with no refuge to escape but to gaze into his smiling eyes.
LZY: Instead of letting your imagination run wild every time you’re scared, why not think about something that can put your mind at ease?
LZY: For example, me.
LZY: So, consider this as collecting a tip in advance to cover your memories.
A soft chuckle drifts from above me, and he lifts my face again. With the last hint of light also overlaid, I close my eyes, welcoming this novel memory pertaining to the night’s darkness.
┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✄ ┈┈┈┈┈┈
The next morning, the sky finally clears up.
The entire city looks as if it has taken a bath. Under the early morning sunlight, there are glittering lights refracted by water droplets everywhere.
I summon every bit of my self-control and more to extract myself from Li Zeyan’s warm embrace and rise early to make breakfast.
Originally, I planned to have him take the day off and recover from jet lag, but as soon as he gets out of bed, he receives a call from LFG, saying there is an urgent matter that needs to be dealt with in person.
I watch as a certain someone at the dining table finishes his breakfast with a sullen look on his face and can’t help but burst into laughter.
MC: Who knew even CEO Li could show such a “rebellious” expression about having to work overtime.
LZY: ...It’s just that I haven’t gotten over the jet lag yet.
MC: Who told you not to sleep obediently last night?
I stand up with a laugh before he can glare at me and push his suitcase to the door for him. Li Zeyan dons his coat, seems to hesitate for a moment, and then turns back to look at me.
MC: What’s wrong?
LZY: Nothing.
MC: It doesn’t seem like you’ve left anything behind, have you?
I look around to check while speaking, but I realize that Li Zeyan has kept his gaze trained on me, with no intention of searching for anything.
I blink my eyes, and an adorable guess bubbles up in my heart.
MC: Could it be that... CEO Li is unwilling to leave?
Li Zeyan grips the handle of the suitcase, averts his eyes, and smiles.
LZY: Let Pudding stay at your place for one more day.
MC: No worries, we’ll get along perfectly.
He doesn’t give a direct answer to my question, so I take it as his tacit assent and continue along with his words.
LZY: He ate quite a lot last night, so feed him less cat food today.
MC: Understood~
LZY: Be careful with the electricity today, and if you run into any issues, reach out to me right away.
MC: Uh-huh, anything else you want to remind me of?
I stare at him, smiling giddily. Li Zeyan opens his mouth, but in the end, he just displays a helpless expression and says nothing.
The rare instance of not being able to find the words to say, the rare moments of being dumbstruck and not knowing how to reply, the rare scenario of dragging his feet about going to work...
All of this shows that he is really unwilling to leave.
I smile even happier and tiptoe up to lock my arms around his neck.
Li Zeyan seems a bit puzzled, but he promptly supports my waist and arches an eyebrow, waiting for me to continue.
MC: Hehe, consider this as a tip you’re paying in advance.
MC: This way, whenever you feel overwhelmed in the future, you will think of only me.
I mimic his words from last night, and even reach up to muss his hair.
LZY: Little copycat.
Li Zeyan seems to want to resist this “childish” act subconsciously, but his arms betray his honest feelings and draw me in even tighter.
He looks at me with a silly smile on my face, about to say something when I suddenly feel a tickle on my ankle, as if something furry is rubbing against it.
Just as I’m about to look down, my face is pinched by someone.
I’m compelled to raise my head and see the sunlight falling on Li Zeyan.
The locks of hair hanging over his forehead and eyelashes are all bathed in dazzling, golden-bright luster. He reminds one of a big cat who has just woken up, making people irresistibly want to get closer to him.
And he does exactly as I wished, taking the initiative to bring this warmth to me.
The distance between us is reduced to zero, and I naturally close my eyes, welcoming this kiss infused with the warmth of the sunlight.
Even if a person grows accustomed to the humidity of this city, they will still rejoice when the sky clears and the sunshine beams down.
Even for those who can see the person they love every day and kiss them whenever they want, they will still find that any small separation feels too long.
The meow of the kitten rises from our feet, as if it also wants to participate in this wordless goodbye. I gently bite Li Zeyan’s lips, and he, rather reluctantly, pulls back just a bit.
MC: Mr. Customer, you’re being too generous with your tip.
With his eyes cast down, he continues to gaze at me, his breath still lingering at the edge of my lips.
LZY: Because I’ve already fulfilled the conditions you set.
LZY: Now that I’ve paid double the tip, I’m asking for an upgrade on the terms.
He raises an eyebrow, as if he is genuinely negotiating with me.
At such proximity, my mind is already a muddled mess, yet I still manage to capture the answer he desires from the look of yearning in his eyes.
I strive to muster my willpower, rise on tiptoe, and kiss his lips again.
MC: Then you must work diligently and clock out early...
MC: And who knows, perhaps I’ll suddenly appear when you’re missing me?
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#i'm just laughing at how paper thought- “hey you know we haven't shown the heroine's place in Li Zeyan's dating verse since December 2021–#– let's acknowledge it still exISTs i guess” LMAO 😂#i actually love how the date mentions MC's old apartment is special to her b/c it holds memories of her childhood- 🥺#also all the nods to why the thunderstorm actually makes MC jittery still. THE LIGHTNING INCIDENT & REASON FOR THEIR CHILDHOOD SEPARATION😭#all the callbacks!! A DOING THE DEED SCENE IN A SR DATE!! POUTY LI ZEYAN. OWH TO GET TO LIVE THE DAY WHEN LI ZEYAN DOESN'T WANT TO WORK 😂#OOFF SO MUCH COMFORT AND WARMTH!! i'll prolly just make a thread on twitter later to talk about the details i wanna talk about haha#also BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAYYY PUDDING BBY!! 🥳 you really do have the best parents in the world haha 💗#mlqc victor#mlqc li zeyan#mlqc#mr love victor#mr love queen's choice#恋与制作人#李泽言#love and producer#mlqc cn#mlqc spoilers#mlqc translations#Youtube
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I think the world is so wonderful... (Patreon)
#My art#Handplates#UT#Papyrus#I have not been able to get this idea out of my head for like - days now lol#It's only solidified the more I read! Heck!!#I dunno if I was necessarily hoping that reading further would point me in another direction but no now this is one of his songs lol#I really like Rugrats Theory actually :) The song of course it's lovely but I even have some nostalgia for the creepypasta haha#Been a while since I read it tho so that's probably just the soft haze of memory talking lol#But the song is still great! I'm partial to the English cover but I like the original as well :)#There are just so many fun lyrics! Especially for Papyrus specifically#''Everything I've been told I believe and yet people that I love just leave'' Gasterrr#''I think I'm old enough to understand so there's no reason to hide from me'' Sanssssssss#Once I returned to the scene of Sans trying to lie to him I just fjdslahfd these lyrics would Not leave me alone lol#I'm also Extremely partial to the second verse surrounding blindness and willful ignorance - his vision problems literal and metaphorical!#I wasn't planning to start a Handplates playlist but I guess by this point it's kinda too late haha#I also tried a different style of shading for this one ♪ Trying to style match a bit hehe#It's fun! Scratchy - tho some of that is from still using my usual brushes lol#I was Very inspired by watching the comic creation playlist - so cool! Very fun to watch and pick up ideas hehe#I knew I forgot something lol dang it - forgot the dash between WDG-2#S'what I get for using pre-plates references :P#For just a quick little thing I'm fairly pleased overall tho :)
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Apparently, in the novel Style is already very much in love with Fadel when Kant tells him the truth (I haven't read it, though, so I could be misinformed, and apologies if I am), and I 100% get why that is appealing to a lot of people, I do!
But, damn, I LOVE that Style is on the cusp of feelings, finds out the truth, and then continues to fall headfirst in love with Fadel, despite (because???) of it. That is so my thing. That he knows this terrible truth, that he feels both scared and safe by turns with him, and he wants to know him anyway. He wants Fadel to lay himself bare for him. He wants to be his 100%. He wants to fall in love with him
And that is so beautiful to me
(I know the script isn't based on the novel btw, but reading about it spurred this post)
#the heart killers#the heart killers the series#the heart killers novel spoilers#fadelstyle#if we get lovers on the run with them i'm going to explode into tiny droplets of happiness#(i'm wondering if that's what'll be happening with the old house/bath scene or if that's just... something else)#thk*#lazzarella watches tv#and states the obvious#most of the stuff i've seen ppl talk about from the novel that are different to the show aren't overly appealing to me tbh#but ofc reading what other ppl recount of something is VERY different than experiencing it yourself#and I can’t fairly compare the novel to the series although I guess I’m kind of doing that in my post (unfairly maybe 😂)
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when i'm writing something meta-y i like to look at what other people are saying to see if i'm forgetting a detail or something but that's impossible when it comes to joffrey because every single post is like "no he didn't even suspect for one moment that he was a bastard" oh so his clear switch up from "my uncle jaime" to "YOUR BROTHER JAIME" despite him constantly referring to tyrion, stannis, and renly as simply "uncle" means nothing of course "oh he isn't deep at all he's a cartoon villain" so the story cersei tells about robert almost killing him is completely irrelevant than, right right "joffrey isn't capable of love he's nothing but a sociopath" he literally calls out for his mommy every time he needs something my GOD
#joffrey baratheon#is this how the crispin stans feel.#a series where every character is complex but the 13 year old who seems both resentful and loving towards his parents is where we draw the#line. also. sociopath is not a diagnosis. it's not a real thing. it's a stupid ableist term used to dismiss the very real empathy issues#that many people - NOT JUST PEOPLE WITH APD OR NPD BTW - struggle with. not everyone w empathy problems turns into a murderer#i would hazard a guess that MOST people with empathy problems don't turn into murderers and some even adjust to life if given therapy#I'M NOT MAD. WELL I'M A LITTLE MAD.#people will tag with anti tags for everyone BUT him. i go into the joffrey tag an dit's just 'wow he sucks huh' never heard that before!!#getting on my soap box
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I'm bored so here's some shots of Uryu from Bleach TYBW Cour 3 OP
#bleach anime#bleach tybw#bleach#uryu ishida#uryuu ishida#he stares ✨ menacingly ✨#well unfortunately my hope for old bands coming back for cour 3 op doesn't come true but this one is not so bad I guess#if we really will get his vollstandig in cour 3 I'M GONNA CRYING SCREAMING AND THROWING UP /pos#lmao I just realize uryu here is basically the blue eyes staring straight on your soul meme but his are a bit darker 😂
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okay ill bite why do u hate kaoru sakuraba sidem aside from the fact that they went from hokuto as a main blue to downgrade to kaoru. to make it less awkward that I’m asking abt sidem on ur osomatsu side blog, what sidem idols would u assign to each matsu ?
i think sideM should collab w osomatsu-san and put them all in Beit so they can all get JOBS!!!!!!
anyways i hate kaoru from idolmaster sideM. i need all my osomatsu-san side blog followers to know that i hate this man. "i need a lot of money fast to pursue an extremely niche medical research track, which is why i quit my stable and high paying job as a surgeon to become an idol while having no soft skills, physical strength or stamina, or interest in getting along with people" are you Stupid??
he's not even using his idol clout to spread awareness of the rare disease he's trying to cure (like SEM does) so it can secure funding, he sees it 100% as a job and refuses to have fun, he is actively unpleasant and uncooperative in every interaction with his coworkers because he's trying to "rise to the top". it seems like the only thing he has going for him are his looks and that he kind of liked to sing when he was a kid. why not become a model at that point when you have the personality of a wet tree trunk. or better yet why not STAY A FUCKING DOCTOR!!!!!
also, i don't like meganes, so write that down.
#context for oomfiematsus: idolmaster sideM's gimmick is that all the idols were other things before becoming idols#Beit is the unit whose gimmick is that all their members have part time jobs (baito)#others are like. lawyer -> idol; pilot -> idol; pianist -> idol; rakugoka -> idol; etc#finding out the backstories/previous lives of these idols is like the main appeal of this branch#a lot of times it's like trauma and stuff that causes them to switch careers. like there's a pair of twins who were former soccer pros#but one suffers a career-ending injury and it's sad. and theyre like well we were pretty good at PR and stuff though so let's be idols#(the other twin follows him because yknow twinsies <3 cant be apart)#and this guy is in the main unit so you meet him and he's just a fucking dick the whole time and he just seems to fucking hate being an ido#so the whole time youre like what's this guy's deal#(note i experienced this through the anime cuz all the games are EOS lol)#and then like 3/4ths into the anime in you finally get his backstory#and it's that his sister died of a very rare disease so he needs money to fund research to find the cure but no one will fund it#but instead of staying a doctor he decides the best way to do this is to BECOME AN IDOL?!!!?!?#like sure i bet the top idols do make more than an average surgeon? but it's like do you want a .01% chance to make a $2 million salary#or an 100% chance to make a $300k salary BECAUSE YOURE ALREADY A SURGEON!!!!#and it'd be another thing if he was like. kinda having fun with it. kinda being jovial#like there's literally another guy in the teacher unit who became an idol for the exact same reason (heard it was lucrative)#but then after he finds out being an idol actually isnt all that much cash#so he just decides to have fun being an idol instead!!!!#this guy NEVER GETS THERE. he's always a SERIOUS RUDE STICK IN THE MUD who is NEVER FUN TO BE AROUND BECAUSE HE'S LIKE#I'm Here For Work. I'm Here To Be The Best Idol. I Don't Want To Make Friends#LIKE GET REEEEEEEEEEEEEEAL DUDE YOUR COWORKERS ARE 10 YEAR OLDS IN ANIMAL COSTUMES AND 30 YEAR OLD MEN IN PINK TIGHTS.#anyways everyone likes him i guess he's supposed to be the “cold guy eventually opens his heart” kind of guy but he has always just come of#as very annoying to me. and also DUMB AS FUCK i cannot stress enough how STUPID OF A CAREER CHOICE THIS WAS#so i cant take him seriously when they try to play him up as this cool all-knowing guy when he's the STUPIDEST PERSON AT THIS COMPANY#INCLUDING THE 9 YEAR OLDS
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first world problem to end all first world problems i've got a brand new phone (because my old one will kill itself if i dare update it so it's on ios 15.1 and half of my apps no longer work) but the idea of setting it up is so daunting it's been like a week and i'm still using the old one. i think phil would appreciate this issue i'm having, he would understand
#the way i didn't want to buy it cause i was like no i have more dan and phil things to spend my money on#but no this really can't go on any longer nothing works#how do some people get a new phone every year that sounds horrible#i mean i guess they just transfer everything from the old one but then lowkey whats the point in getting a new phone#wait omg i just realised i'll finally be able to see emojis again....#i don't see shit these days everyone's using new ones and i'm like ok epic square you've got there
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My toxic masc trait is having a really hard time putting my emotions into words unless they are somewhat aggressive ones and i have been slowly trying to express my affection for people into words more but at the end of the day I'll always be somebody who expresses my love more with actions then anything else, and normally I wouldn't make a dumb ass tumblr post about my feel feels either cuz like who cares but I need to know if other masc and butches or like anybody else have experienced this too where, people just WONT GET IT? like I'll try to SHOW someone I love them in every physical way I know how and then they will be like "how was I supposed to know how you feel, you never said anything" crushing my heart into a million pieces, like a punch in the gut, i was trying to show you but i guess you just like didn't notice or my actions didn't mean as much to you as they do me, it's fine I'm fine
#civetspeaks#i was just thinking about at work today#sorry for how many times i use the word “like”#my old friend group would imply that showing your affection without words was like not a valid way of expressing your feelings for somebody#and would act like if you aren't straight up telling somebody you care 4 them in bold font like a robot then it doesn't count#idk i find it hard to put into words cuz#they would get mad at me like i was expecting people to read my mind but NO I WAS JUST#I WAS HOPING YOU NOTICED THE THINGS the things i did 4 you praying you knew how much of myself i was giving u that's allllll#but it's FINE#it also leads to these moments where i am brave and emotionally vulnerable with people and its really intiment 4 me but the other person#like doesn't see it that way because they are used to that i guess and so then you jsut feel stupid because it means more 2 you then it does#them#ANYWAYS I'M NORMAL I'M SO NORMAL#nobody gets me no one understands i am shadow the hedgehog#is this even slightly coherent
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i think solavellan appeals to me as an aromantic person because i tend to be drawn to more fantastical, larger than life love stories that aren't realistic. lavellan falls in love with her own god without knowing it. that's so cool. they don't get a traditional happy ending where they settle down somewhere in the status quo. they do get a bittersweet kind of happy ending with a million possibilities. they go together to an impossible place where time doesn't exist and yeah it might all go horribly but i find it so appealing.
#i mean to be fair they techinally settle down to defend the status quo but whatever#can you tell that i'm also a child of divorce#hated those happy endings even as a child#the ones where the hero gets the girl and they live happily ever after#never believed in those#9-year-old me was like “well that won't last”#idk why i feel the need to defend myself for liking solavellan#i guess it's just shipping culture in general#solavellan#dragon age#dai#datv#veilguard spoilers
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My favourite fantasy lately is Kuya kidnapping Eiden and bringing him to a house in the woods to punish him for endangering himself during some adventure. Kuya keeps Eiden in bondage and constantly on edge, teasing and denying him. And Eiden just takes it without asking to be let out, allowing Kuya to vent his fear and frustration, because he's nice like that.
But, at some point, even the strongest little soldiers break, and just when Eiden is about to shatter from all the stress and Kuya's oppressive anxiety, Quincy comes for the rescue. He's the only one who managed to find that little wooden shack in the middle of nowhere (you know, because Kuya's allowed him to), and he comes in and persuades Kuya to relent.
Kuya hasn't even given Eiden any dick in all the (three? four?) days they've been at it, so serious he was about the discipline aspect!
Eiden cries when Kuya finally fucks him, and Quincy makes him spill
this just reminds me of Billowing Wildfire Kuya R2 where eiden saID sO HImself
i would not be surprised if kuya went full speed into an evil edging hostage situation because he doesn't know how to process eiden's mortality
#feesh answer#i don't think even I'M that evil#i wouldn't edge eiden for DAYS...#then again i don't have the lifespan of an ancient fox yokai. i think.#so time passing for kuya must feel very different#(eiden being magically edged in the other room) kuya while doing his nails: huh. has it been 20 minutes already?#IT HAS BEEN 2 DAYS. KUYA LET HIM SPLORT#is there any way the clan members would NOT freak out after seeing eiden disappear for 3-4 days?#by the 1st night of MissingEiden#at least 3 of his wives would be on high alert LOL#unfortunately kuya rly does have those ridiculous powers#if he didn't wanna be found then none of the others would be able to get to him#i guess that's when quincy and rei are hired to sniff him out#rei's prob more lax like. what? the grand idiot's been gone for a day? so what. he's prob just fucking his way thru the clan#and one by one they all go 'he's not with me'#maybe by the 3rd day due to the delay in manual mail delivery#they get the scroll back from dante like 'no eiden is not with me'#and that's when everyone FLIPS OUT and the search goes into high gear#no. no actually i feel like they would all have figured out where eiden was within a day#that many brains.... surely they would be able to tell#or quincy would tattle. very matter of factly.#as in. yeah. i can sense it. old fox is squirreling away somewhere with the little devil#sigh. kuya if you keep this up they're all gonna put u thru mandated fox therapy or smth#you cannot do this every time you get separation anxiety#wait how tf do you spell the kuyaei shipname. is it just kuyaei. kuyei? kyuei? friggni vowels man#nu carnival kuya
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