#I went back to the old Dragon Age games to get a feel for something 😭

[elvyn]

Interesting how one sad worm almost turned the world upside down

[vaguely-concerned]

I was just ambushed within the turbulent halls of my own mind by some headcanons about rye ingellvar's childhood that did 15000000 points of psychic damage to me and my heart personally and also made me almost sure of how I want to play it all at the end (very very differently from how I imagined going in!). some 'oh holy fuck this changes everything' rocking my own world bullshit going on in my neurons right now I'm reeling

[flowersforthemachines]

Some facts about Harding gathered from the banters

I went through all companion banters on DanaDuchy's channel after playing the game to write down all facts about companions/the world that I haven't seen brought up anywhere in the game as a writing reference (and for funsies).

Note: This list may not be exhaustive. I might have missed some something or didn't write it down because I considered it common knowledge. If you have anything to add, please DM me or send an ask! (do specify what banter the information is coming from, though)

Note 2: Posts from this series (mostly) don't include information from banters specific to quests or between companions and faction members. I plan to do another playthrough to capture more of those and will add any relevant info to the character posts.

Other characters' posts: Bellara, Davrin, Lucanis, Emmrich, Neve, Taash. I'm also planning a post about just the Lighthouse some time later

Family and past:

Harding's parents split up a few years ago. Her father lives in Amaranthine. She's okay with that and thinks her parents are happier apart

Harding’s mother never taught her how to cook, she's entirely self-taught

Harding carries around the first letter her Mother sent her after joining the Inquisition

Harding doesn't have siblings 

Harding had a mabari named Contessa who passed away from old age

(If in romance) Taash offers Harding to get a mabari together

Time with the Inquisition:

Back in Skyhold, Solas once told Harding he was sorry dwarves couldn’t dream

Harding thinks that if she had never joined the Inquisition, she probably would’ve got married and tended to goats

Harding volunteered for the Inquisition because their soldiers kept scaring the sheep because they all had super old maps. And because she didn't want to spend the rest of her life watching sheep

General: 

Harding likes sandwiches, they are one of her favourite foods 

Harding finds Treviso very beautiful (who doesn’t) 

Harding would bring a bow, clean socks and a spoon to a deserted island

Harding likes books about blood and gore

Harding doesn't like killing, but she doesn't feel bad about it. She compares it to farmers having to kill wild animals that get too close to their land, as sometimes a quick kill can prevent more suffering (i.e. if a wolf gets inside your sheepfold, your own animals will die in pain)

She says that this kind of mindset is the reason why a lot of Inquisition scouts came from farmers, as they need to kill people when necessary (even if those people aren’t their enemies personally), but don’t go out looking for it

Harding likes almonds. They are crunchy :) 

Harding is fascinated by Minrathous’s nightlife 

Harding doesn't drink alcohol 

Harding really likes puns

Harding has fought a Stormrider dragon before 

Harding has a detailed and decorated scrapbook with her kills (with doodles. Including a cute giant spider)

Harding never visited Nevarra before the Veilguard, though she had heard of Cumberland’s Summer Exhibition. Emmrich disregards it as just a market with a horse show 

Dwarves and magic:

Harding finds herself more hungry than usual since getting hew new powers

Neve and Emmrich hypothesise that Harding developing Titan powers may have increased her lifespan (or even granted her eternal life) 

Harding describes using her magic as “touching something vast and eternal, a well, deep inside”. Lucanis says that it sounds similar to him using his demon powers

Relationships with companions:

Bellara, Neve and Taash call her “Lace”. Davrin and Lucanis call her “Harding”

Emmrich calls her "Harding" most of the time, though he calls her "Lace" on two occasions (in a banter about Emmrook, and the one where he talks about seeing her aura differently after he becomes a Lich)

Harding grows special plants for Davrin to help him mask the griffon smell in his room

Harding grows truffles for Assan

Harding lets Assan sleep on her

To Lich!Emmrich, Harding appears different from other dwarves. She has a special aura (but it comes and goes)

Harding buys an enchanted barbed arrow to take out Lucanis/Spite if push comes to shove. She later tries to give it to Lucanis and apologises, but he insists she keeps it as a sign of his trust

Harding finds Teia intimidating because she is “polished” (Lucanis disagrees but notes she keeps good track of all utensils Viago poisoned at the table) 

Teia called Harding fearless in a conversation with Lucanis

Harding invites Neve to her house in Ferelden after Neve's apartment in Minrathous burns down, in case she wants to get away from the Lighthouse 

Harding is very excited about Neve taking over the Threads (“Do they have to kiss your hand?”) and wishes she were a crime boss

Harding once dreamt of Neve stealing her strawberry tarts

Harding starts humming Taash’s name to herself after they get together

About gifts from Taash: 

Harding doesn’t use the archery bracer because it feels so special she’s afraid it could get lost or get dirty

She also doesn’t wear the hairpin because she’s afraid to lose it

Taash got the cheese in Minrathous

Conclusion: get Harding cheese, it’s the only thing she isn’t afraid to actually use

Garden and plants: 

It's enough to mention a plant for it to start growing in Harding’s garden

The Fade plants normally don’t need tending. However, they may begin to wilt if that’s what you expect them to do 

Smuggler’s Rose clouds the person’s mind if you are wearing it like perfume, letting you pickpocket other people more easily

Sage bane mixed with troll moss can be used to treat toenail fungus

[mourn-and-watch]

in all seriousness, dragon age being almost officially dead to me is, like, whatever. i'm used to hanging out in dead fandoms because i'm usually extremely late to the party so i think i'll manage. i was excited for veilguard but even if it was bad bad for me (which it wasn't. i have my problems with it but they didn't ruin the franchise for me) i would also manage because dragon age to me always was extremely flawed but had an enormous potential for fan content. at some point i started to treat it like my favourite fantasy playground where i can smash pre-existing barbie dolls with the ones i made myself. all my barbie dolls are in place and i still can do whatever i want (and i plan to continue to do so) and, i guess, i shouldn't be upset.

i am upset, however. for all the devs affected by laid-offs, but especially the writers. these people created dragon age as we know it, and it's been a messy series in every aspect, including the writing, it's been insensitive at times, at times dumb and undercooked, but there was always an immense amount of potential that's been inspiring fans for years, and also a feeling that all, or at least the most of it was created with genuine passion. and realizing that there is no one left from the team that made dragon age what it is, every installment of it, is just. genuinely sad. and it's not a theseus ship dilemma, because it's not like they were slowly replaced one by one. they were just fired. this ship is destined to sink, it's falling apart in front of our eyes because neither ea nor bioware cares about writing. not many companies do nowadays, to be honest. and it's kinda devastating. grifters will celebrate that like a "downfall of woke slop", but they'll get only more ai slop instead, lol, because good writing doesn't guarantee good sells. best selling games of 2024 are shooters and sports games. and elden ring which is a nice exception, but an exception nevertheless.

i don't think mass effect will save bioware at this point. even if it's an absolute banger it still has to meet ea's expectations. which are unrealistic, to say the least. also people who wrote characters like mordin, tali, legion, thane, garrus and liara are all gone. either they left themselves or were laid off. like, if you want "old bioware magic" to return, there is none. the same people who wrote your favourite characters and storylines in da/me were also working on veilguard. i may be wrong, but somehow i think they didn't all lose their ability to write here because they went woke or whatever. i think the inconsistent quality of datv writing that can only be described as 'we're so back/it's so over' pic is a consequence of multiple rewrites, constant director changes and shitty decisions, both internal and coming from bioware/ea higher-ups. i also may be wrong, but it wouldn't be such a big problem if writing wasn't at the bottom of priority list.

if i recall correctly, when gaider left willingly, he highlighted that bioware didn't treat its writers seriously at that point. and i'd say that tracks. like, from countless veilguard rewrites and scrapped ideas to lay-offs of every single studio veteran.

idk what else there is to say. i'll cheer for every studio that value its writers and i hope all ex-bioware devs will be able to do something new and exciting. i also doubt bioware is the last studio that will experience such a decline in the years to come. the narrative of this shitshow will also be twisted into 'go woke go broke' and it already slightly draws me insane. fuck ea fuck bioware fuck grifters. also i beg everyone to start appreciating writing as a craft because otherwise it's only going to get worse!

[lavellaned]

Actually I think one of the reasons why this game is so awful to get through is how it treats abuse, abusers, and abuse victims.

Under cut due to length of rambling:

First of all, Morrigan. Abused as a child by her mother, Flemeth aka Mythal, learned about the world and how to interact with it in a skewed way. Was treated in a way that no child should be by anyone let alone their parent.

Fast forward to Inquisition, particularly a worldstate in which Kieran is alive. The scene in the fade where Morrigan confronts Flemythal is one of the most important and special scenes in all of dragon age to me.

Growing up through abuse as a child you never think "I don't deserve this", you mainly think things like "Why is this happening to me?" and "Bad things happen to me." You know that these things are bad and make you feel bad, but when your baseline for how you should experience the world is abusive, you don't have the point of reference to think otherwise. And then you grow up. You look back on the abuse through the eyes of the child who experienced it but also through the detached, adult view that you currently have and have to reconcile the two. It's not easier nor pleasant. Getting to the age your abuser was/getting into the position of power your abuser had over you is difficult. Being at that stage and picturing yourself doing what was done to you to someone else is fucking sickening, and then you start to realize "I wasn't the problem, it WASN'T my fault, YOU are the one that's fucked up." But a lot of people can't and therefore the cycle of abuse continues.

But Morrigan does. She straight up tells her abuser "I will not be the mother you were to me." To have a character who survived childhood abuse be able to reach a point in their life where they can take back their personhood from their abuser is pretty damn important, actually. To this day I get weepy just thinking about it.

And then fucking veilguard happened.

Not only does it not matter if Kieran is alive or if Morrigan drank from the well (something that would BIND HER SPIRIT TO HER ABUSER), but Morrigan straight up let Mythal hitch a ride in her. The very thing that Morrigan tried to prevent ever since the first goddamn game? And we're all just supposed to accept and be ok with this?

The only way I can see this not being a complete character assassination of Morrigan is if Mythal just straight up possessed her unwillingly/killed her. Have Mythal use Morrigan as a information receptacle for new players, but also use old players' already-implemented relationship with her as a way to manipulate them. Either way, shit sucks.

Then there's the Crows. You know, the guild who takes children from brothels, orphanages, the streets and puts them through Hunger Games levels of training in which they either die or survive to become a slave assassin for the rest of their life. Not in veilguard. We're all just one big happy family. We rule Antiva, yippee!

Finally, there's Solas. One could argue his entire existence is the product of abuse, and everything that has happened in Thedas is because of it. I think framing his regrets as physical manifestations that want to kill him is a really interesting narrative choice. Unlocking the regret murals was one of the very few parts of this game that invoked a strong emotional response from me, not just because I'm an unapologetic Solas Enjoyer but because the implications are heartbreaking.

And then the game has you sit through the most fucking unbearable CBT group therapy session to talk about them with some of the most annoying damn people in Thedas who treat the literal apocalyptic levels of abuse Solas went through for millennia as something like a joke? And we the player are not given the option to challenge this? This game makes the point to force the player to agree with the flippant attitudes brought up from this.

Then brings up the final scene with Solas. Do I think the meeting with Mythal and Solas was handled well? Yes and no, but that's for another time. Solas is so far in the trenches of the trauma of abuse that he will not stop until his abuser pretty much tells him "I'm done abusing you." I think this was good and bad, again another time.

The way Solas interacts with his abuser is the direct flipside of how Morrigan does. You see more than one way someone can heal/not heal from it.

Morrigan, someone with arguable little power in the world, stands up against her abuser unflinchingly.

Solas, described through history as a GOD, someone with unfathomable amounts of knowledge and power, cowers and offers his abuser a literal weapon to kill him with, unprompted.

If this was a good game, it would be about regret but also about survivor's guilt, something that those who survived abuse have to deal with for the rest of their lives. But it's not, because it's a a bad game.

[pearlcrumbs]

Modern!Targaryen Sibling HCs (Rhaenyra, Aegon, Helaena, and Aemond)

Daeron isn't part of this cause its show based and thus far does not exist in my pea brain. But when he finally does appear I will add him yup yup. Also this is not incestuous at all so. I also hold authority over this as someone with a lot of dysfunctional siblings (Whom I adore). Rhaenyra's kids are obviously next and then I really wanna do the Dragon Twins! Also Gwayne and Alicent

Rhaenyra, as being so much older than her siblings has only child syndrome (Not in a selfish way, just how she is. Dad’s favorite fr) 

Rhaenyra is definitely closest with Helaena (That's her baby sister, Rhaenyra would scorch the earth for her) 

Rhaenyra and Aemond are the only ones who can speak High Valyrian fluently (They use it to secretly talk shit about everyone else) they also both have a deep love for the histories, I know they bond over that 

Helaena has assigned each of her siblings a bug and she's definitely gifted them all something related to it (Maybe she even pinned a few specimen for them) 

Aegon looks up to Rhaenyra a lot (I like the idea of him admiring her, especially when he was younger) 

Aemond is not a hugger (He’ll accept them from his sisters but would stab Aegon) 

Rhaenyra babysat them a lot when they were younger (I want to say that's how they got close at all) 

One year for Halloween they went as the Cullens (Nyra as Rosalie, Helaena as Alice, Aemond as Jasper, and Aegon as Emmett. I don't want to elaborate) 

Rhaenyra liked to show up to school events for them when they were younger

When Rhaenyra had kids, all three of the younger ones pitched in to get a gift for the baby (It was different for all of them for sure) 

If the show relationship between Alicent/Rhaenyra is still a thing, Rhaenyra definitely pulls the “I fucked your mom” card (Usually as a trump card to get her siblings to chill out) 

Aemond is the only reason Aegon passed school at all (Aemond never lets him live it down) 

I think Aegon is really into birthdays and likes to celebrate his siblings (Even if they don't find it necessary)

No family dinner is complete without some stupid squabble 

Aemond is undefeated in Super Smash Bros 

Aegon and Rhaenyra like to go clubbing together, wing man each other 

I fear they’re all four elemental signs and their siblingship is well balanced that way (I think Rhaenyra is an Earth sign, Aemond is a fire sign, Aegon is a water sign, and Helaena is an air sign. Though some feel interchangeable) 

None of them are above physical violence (Helaena will hurt them but they collective refuse to hit her back) 

When he was younger (A teenager) Aegon would sneak to Rhaenyra’s house when he got in trouble at home. She’d scold him a bit I’m sure, comfort him and let him stay for the night (Then make sure he made it home in the morning) 

Little Aemond has been mistaken for Rhaenyra’s son before 

When Helaena was old enough, her and Rhaenyra got matching tattoos (I imagine something elegant and botanical)

Rhaenyra and Aegon are dirty gossipy bitches (The other two often get roped into it)

Helaena is Aemond's bestfriend (I fear I dont make the rules)

When Aemond lost his eye, Aegon and Helaena basically lived at his bedside in the hospital. Helaena made him his first eyepatch, Aegon made sure to keep him entertained and brought him his favorite books and game consoles from home (Rhaenyra visited when she could)

Aemond definitely got bullied a lot after the incident and Aegon often got in troubler for fighting the bullies

Helaena and Aegon are almost twins (Being the closest in age) and Helaena is really good at clocking when hes upset.

[master-of-the-elements]

OC Tag Game

Thank you for tagging me, @gayspacepiratesss and @thatgaymerguyb. I actually did some research for this game.

I’m sure a lot of people I know have already been tagged, so if you have already my bad. @gaudebo, @koda-ishere, @taashyvashedan, @iamthelordofcheese, @megaeratheefury and anyone else who wants to play, if they want.

GENERAL

Name: Amir Mercar

Alias(es): Rook, Weather Witch/ Tempest Witch

Gender: Male

Age: 28

Place of birth: Unknown. Found outside Ventus; Birth Parents are Rivaini.

Spoken languages: Tevene, Trade/Common,

Sexual orientation: Pan/Bisexual

Occupation: Artist- Painter

FAVOURITE

Colour: Gold & Teal

Entertainment: Amir loves attending art galleries, the theatre and museums as well as shopping in the markets and walks through gardens.

Pastime: Painting, Gardening, and Reading

Food: Seafood - Fried fish, Grilled Skewered Squid, Crustacean Pasta; Dessert- Cupcakes, "Poison Stings", Coffee Ice

Drink: Verimensis tea, Cioccolata calda

Books: Books about primal and elemental magic, Mystery Books, and Romance (don't tell anyone)

HAVE THEY

Passed university: Yes. He was considered a prodigy in primal and elemental magic.

Had sex: Yes. He's had two relationships and one fling prior to Davrin.

Had sex in public: Nope and he doesn't plan on it.

Gotten tattoos: Yes, several. The primary set of tattoos that he has, that cover his chest, shoulders, upper back, arms, hips, and legs were done on a rebellious whim. He wanted to express his artistry and feel beautiful. They were done by an old art merchant he considers a friend and mentor, who, unbeknownst to Amir, secretly enchanted them. He got his secondary back tattoos after he joined the Shadow Dragons.

Gotten piercings: Not yet.

Gotten scarred: Yes. He has lightning scars from storm spell that went awry during the Nessus job. He also has a scar on his nose from stopping Solas' ritual.

Had a broken heart: Yes, from his second relationship (they died).

Been in love: Yes, twice. His second relationship and Davrin.

ARE THEY

A cuddler: Yes, very much so. Touch is one of his love languages.

Scared easily: Not usually, but he does get grossed out easily (he's a city mage).

Jealous easily: I wouldn't say easily but yes. His first relationship ended in infidelity and so he can be a tad insecure (though he tries to hide it).

Trustworthy: He can be a bit of gossiper, but yes he is. He knows when something should be kept a secret.

FAMILY

Sibling(s): Yes, a younger brother, Lucius. Three years after he was adopted by the Mercars, they had a son (biologically).

Parents: Charon Mercar is his adoptive father and he also has an adoptive mother, Calista. Birth mother - deceased. Birth father- 🤫🙃

Children: No. Unless you count Assan.

Pets: He's a plant dad.

[lkblackham]

Warning: this is an angst post about Dragon Age, EA, and the state of the corporate-driven art world in general. I totally get it if you're really over this. I am right there with you. But if you DO read, thanks. You're a peach and I love you.

To begin:

It looks like Dragon Age is done. BioWare has made it clear that the last patch is where they're leaving it. EA was disappointed with the player count, and I'm betting they're not going to greenlight a new entry in the series anytime soon. And that honestly breaks my battered 32-year-old fantasy artist heart.

So imma angst about it for a second because this is now a Dragon Age page and it's all I talk about on here, because honestly where else am I gonna angst about this.

As much as I gush about Veilguard on here, I am actually well aware of its flaws. Believe me, I *know* it's not perfect. When I got the art book, I saw just HOW FRIGGIN MUCH the team had planned for DA4 - and how much they had to cut to finish it, after 10 YEARS of development. I know about the absolute *hell* it went through, the massive number of team members that were fired or left the studio before it was finished, the ridiculous expectations and demands EA executives made that caused the studio to scrap everything and start over several times.

Knowing this, it's incredible that Veilguard is at least *intact* and *playable* and still has that Dragon Age personality (at least to me, personally - I understand why some people do not feel the same way, and that's perfectly valid) (and by valid I do not include the 'anti-woke' brigade, you can fuck right off my page if you're here for some strange reason).

THAT is what I gush about - that feeling is still there, even when it's not perfect and had a very troubled development.

This series has meant so much to me over the decades, and remains my favorite fantasy series, period, overall. It's my comfort place (rather weirdly, considering the blood, gore, and brood mothers) and also served as something of a social simulator for me when I was really young and had social anxiety so bad I literally couldn't say hi to people I knew in public. I was convinced I would do it wrong. So having these pre-constructed interactions with fictional characters that I could go back and redo if I wanted was really therapeutic.

I mean, I did go to actual therapy and take medication as well, but you know, this stuff is important, too.

The example I will always cite (and probably have already on this page but whatever) is Sten. Sten, in Origins, is the huge stoic badass warrior archetype, and I was constantly trying to earn his approval in the game. But I kept FAILING. He kept UN-HEARTING me. And I couldn't figure out why! I was saying all the nice dialogue options! I was agreeing with him on stuff! So what would it take to get some approval from this asshole?

I finally caved and looked up a guide. And I was floored to discover that, actually, Sten approves of you *when you stand up to him*. He wants you to have a backbone, even if it means disagreeing with him. He respects a strong leader who stands up for what they believe in, not a yes man trying to get him to like them.

This concept, the idea that even a *fictional character* like this could exist, was absolutely amazing to me. It sounds really dumb, but seriously, it actually shifted my thinking about how I talk to people and what they expect of me. It was a small shift, but it's still stuck with me all these years later. It's a testament to the power of stories, and how the interactive nature of games can tell stories in a way no other medium can.

I've had many other experiences with other games and books and movies and TV series like that since. But because of that effect it had at that time in my life, Dragon Age has a special place in my heart no other series does.

But... That's not the only reason I'm sad about the outcome with Veilguard. It's really only half the reason, actually.

The other half is my anger at the game development machine as a whole. We all know it. We've all watched it churn and grind several studios into pulp. We've seen big time studio execs - most of whom, these days, haven't ever actually worked in game design and probably don't even play games themselves - treat designers like garbage they can just throw away when they're done with them, or they don't perform their perceived function the way the execs want them to. (I know it's not just execs that do this, but they're certainly the central problem). These people are in charge, but they aren't artists or storytellers. They see things in terms of products and consumers, monetization schemes, player counts. They don't see the value in what they sell, beyond how much money they bring in.

There is a necessary place for people like this in any business, certainly, but they should never, ever, EVER be the ones in charge. If the past three decades have taught me anything, it is this. These people care about how much wealth they can hoard, and nothing else. We now live in a world where creativity is manufactured by an algorithm, because these people don't want to pay actual humans to do it. The value of artists and what they make is reduced purely to profit.

Don't get me wrong, as an artist myself I do like being able to make money. I certainly like being able to do what I do for a living. But I don't do it *just* to earn money. If that were the case, I would have just stuck with my job chopping vegetables at that deli in my hometown that paid way better and gave me health insurance (not that that's a shameful profession - I seriously would have stuck to that job if I had actual business brains). I do art because it's what I love and what I live for. Hell, I am making NO money from my art right now, but I still make it. Even when my projects fail, I still think they're important, and are worth investing in. I go back to those projects, get feedback, see what I can do better, and try again. I grow, and do better, and give those stories a chance to grow as well.

And that's what's missing from not only the games industry, but most creative industries now, at least on the market end: that understanding of art's inherent worth. That willingness to try again, and improve. Giving things a chance to grow, beyond just player counts and profit numbers.

That was what made Baldur's Gate 3 such a phenomenal success, from which (I think) competing studies took the wrong lesson. Larian worked on the game as a labor of love (as well as a labor of money) interacting with the people playing it, taking feedback, and incorporating their own passion for the project over and over again. They went the extra 1000 miles. They let the game grow and do better.

I'm not saying that Veilguard should have done that BG3 did. What I am saying is that it should have been given more of a chance to grow. As it is, right now, there is still potential to do better. But.... it's not getting that chance. It's the first Dragon Age game that isn't getting any DLC, no extra content, no other chances to expand upon the story. And, it looks like, the series as a whole might not be getting any more chances at all. Maybe I'm wrong - I might just be coming over all bitter and cynical (as only an unemployed artist with mountains of student debt can). I understand that BioWare might just be done with it after a friggin decade. But... it just feels unfair. And sad. At least for me.

It is just a game, at the end of the day. There will be other games, other products to consume. But. This product meant a lot to me. Art, of all kinds, means so much to me. And seeing the way art of any kind is treated now, but especially things like this... It hurts. A lot. And it keeps happening.

So. In order to combat that, lest I fall down a despair hole and never come out: I'm going to keep filling in holes. I'm going to make my OWN personal DLC.( Or, um. Just 'C', I guess.) Even if I can't code and model, I can write and draw and comic. I have my own stories in my own self indulgent fantasy worlds to tell, but I'm also going to keep adding to Dragon Age, at least in my own canon. Even if it doesn't mean anything to anyone else, it'll mean a lot to me. And I hope I'll get to see other people continue to make their own DA art and stories, as well as worlds of their own making. We need art - ALL art - right now, more than ever. Seriously.

As Andrew Wincott, the actor behind Raphael in Baldur's Gate 3, said: "Keep being creative. Keep making these worlds, and maybe one day we'll learn to protect the one we're in."

And that's me, angsted out. Thanks so much for reading. If you've made it this far, I have a gift for you:

It's Varric's chest hair. One of my criticisms for Veilguard is that there is not nearly enough chest hair on anyone but particularly not on Varric, which I think might be an actual crime.

[cpattersonevans]

A Love Letter to My Inquisitor

As my first ever post, I felt compelled to write a love letter of sorts to my Inquisitor Lavellan. I have been playing RPGs for a long time, but have never been very good at the 'role playing' aspect. Until recently I had always played Dragon Age as a female human, struggling to make decisions that I would not make in real life. Prior to the announcement of Veilguard I had not played a DA game in probably 6 or 7 years, but to reacquaint myself with the world I decided to replay them (starting at DA2 because my computer hates DAO). This time, I was determined to play as an elf for the first time ever in Inquisition...and romance Solas for the first time ever. I enjoyed the Solas romance. I knew going in that it would not be a happy ending, but I knew nothing of how it would actually develop. I absolutely loved this playthrough. So much so, that right after I finished it the first time all the way through to the end of Trespasser, I restarted a new game to play as Lavellan again, willingly choosing to slog through each collection quest (maybe I'd finally find that one last mosaic piece - I did not). Not because I wanted to relive the romance, but because I missed HER.

In Inquisition, my Lavellan was cold and stoic at first, angry at those who blame her for something she knows nothing about...she literally woke up like this. However, she starts to show her true self to those who slowly go from mere acquaintance to respected friend. She was somewhat tactless and blunt, not having much experience interacting with the human world. She was reluctant to accept the position as leader, always asserting that she is NOT the Herald of Andraste. Seriously, how many times does she have to say this! She continues to express her anger and reluctance when the title of Inquisitor is thrust upon her. She never wanted this! She gets shit done, always focused on the task at hand. She hopes that once she fixes everything, she can go back to her old life. Oh how she was mistaken. As time went on she leaned more into her Dalish identity and enjoyed making decisions in favor of the elves (bye bye Celene). She realized that, although she never wanted to be Inquisitor, she may be able to take advantage of this opportunity for the betterment of her people. Dorian, Cassandra, Varric and Iron Bull became her besties (Sera never stopped thinking she was too elfy). As for the romance. She (me) was not attracted to Solas at first, I still found myself very much liking Cullen (had romanced him and Blackwall previously as female human). I even laughed that Cullen is probably the one people would tell her she should be with, but Solas ended up being the one she was fated to be with. Over the course of the game she realized her attraction towards him was growing. The more conversations they had, the more missions they found themselves in relying on each other to survive, they slowly grew closer and fell in love. Plus...that voice. This relationship was different than any I'd experienced in a game before. It felt like, for them, more was expressed in what wasn't said...or how it was said. I could feel the passion between them. When the break up came, she was ANGRY. I will take any chance I get to yell at Solas in Elven. But, she had a mission to complete. She was fine.

Then Trespasser came. Two years later and still the leader of a massive political organization. How did she get here? She never wanted this. She could still care less about politics. Everyone, please stop asking her about Solas. She doesn't want to talk about it. She is fine. Except...she's not. The closer they get to Solas, the more those repressed feelings come to the surface. Solas was HeLpInG us with the Qunari all along! Face palm. I hated this delulu response, but had to do it. When they finally meet face to face, turns out she's still ANGRY. Cue more angry yelling in Elven. HE SHOULD HAVE TRUSTED HER. Not understanding the full extent of his plans, she offers to help. He won't let her. She vows to save him, this isn't the only way. Bye bye hand. Angry Inquisition book drop. Bye bye Inquisition. She never wanted this.

Now comes Veilguard. I will preface that I have not read any fanfiction. I have only been a solavellan for about 4 or 5 months, so I understand this influences my perspective on how things play out in Veilguard. I had no headcannon. I had no expectations for both the Inquisitor's reappearance and the possibilities of closure. I, of course, hoped her and Solas would reunite, but also knew there was a very strong chance one or the other (or both) could die by the end of the game, because Dragon Age.

I actually liked how Lavellan was portrayed. I don't think it's fair to judge how she has lived for the past 10 years based on the few moments we have with her in the game. I don't think she sounds pathetic or sad. To me she sounds, wise, mature, and like someone who has just seen too much shit. Her voice was filled with sorrow. She has had 10 years to ponder everything that happened during Inquisition, replay every moment, every conversation had with Solas. At first she was so so angry, but over time that anger turned into understanding, then forgiveness. This is not to say that the anger is gone completely, sometimes anger reappears when we least expect it, as it often does when we mourn what was lost, but it does not drive her. Over time, she learns how to manage it, to navigate it, to accept it so that each time it hurts a little less. This is the closest they've been to catching Solas. She finds a memory statue of his. She can feel him, feel that it has something to do with him. It is after this that all those feelings, emotions, start flooding back to her. She never stopped loving him. However, the world has gone to shit. She never wanted this, but knows her title, her position, still carries some weight. She steps up to lead once more in the South. To be the person that people need her to be. She doesn't fully express her feelings about Solas until after she hears about the events that occurred in Arlathan, that he helped save Dalish elves from Elgar'nan. Hope returns, maybe, just maybe, the Solas she knew is still in there somewhere, but...she has a world to save first.

The atonement ending is a great ending. I had no expectations, but I wasn't expecting this. I don't think a game ending as ever made me cry so much. It was very cathartic. Maybe because I had played all of these games back to back then straight into Veilguard, so emotions were high.

Lavellan was never going to turn Solas from his path on her own. Her appeals to him didn't work in Trespasser, why would that be any different now? But she vowed to save him from himself, and those that knew him from the Inquisition truly believed he wanted to be stopped. That it was his pride, himself, getting in his own way. She had to try, but this time she has back up. Solas is released from his duty, he is free. She reassures him that there is another path forward, together. Sure, she could have walked in there, spewing more angry Elven at him, but she is not the same Lavellan she was 10 years ago. She is wiser more mature. This does not mean that this anger won't come up later, but she understands that this is NOT the time for that. It's not about her in this moment, it's about him. It's about saving the world. She accepts her fate. Before joining the fight in the North, she made sure all of her duties were appropriately delegated in the South. When her best friend asks her if she will be leaving again after all of this is over, her reply - "something like that." She knew. She joins her vhenan in the Fade to heal both each other and the blight. I do believe that the Fade prison will not be as bad with them together. She will help him confront his regrets and one day they will be able to leave just like Rook did (Rook's regrets honestly pale in comparison, so it will take him more time), but they will have calmed the blight in the process. Someday they will be able to travel the Fade freely and visit old friends, both spirit and corporeal.

She left the world she knew, left behind the title of Inquisitor. She never wanted this. In Trespasser, Cassandra tells her "Being Inquisitor has brought you good things. Many good things. But only a few have been by your choice. Take what happiness you can from those, and do not let them go." And she doesn't.

This turned into a long post, but all this to say...Lavellan holds a special place with me - for not only being a wonderful, bad ass, protagonist, but for finally allowing me to fully embrace the world of role playing games. I have had an amazing time going on this journey with her, one I will surely repeat many times. I love her.

[ajramseyart]

I played Dragon Age Veilguard...twice

First! Fuck Solas!! For real though, great character.

Second Davrin and Emmrich won my heart this round.

I'm going to ramble about this game for a min. I have played all the games since the very beginning way back 15 years ago. Was part of the fandom and made sooooo much fanart. So much. So deal with it for a min.

Spoilers below

I wish I romanced Emmrich second though because the whole lich thing was something I didnt want. I went through the whole rest of his quest thinking bioware was going to make me romance a skeleton and I didnt want that...also the age gap thing took me out as well after making an older Rook. It made me feel like my character was 20 years old, especially with the option to tell this 50+ year old man that my Rook is a virgin.............Anyway I really loved his character and story, he is my very close second fav to Davrin.

Davrin was sweet and really loved his quest. It really fit in well with the grey warden story and overall story. He ended up being my fav companion this time around.

Grey Wardens impressed me. I went into this game wanting nothing to do with the Wardens. Been there, done that. Probably boring like they were in inquisition and DA2. Boy was I wrong. I really enjoyed the Wardens. I played a warden my second play through and having characters say its nice to have a warden around much better with two wardens...and it just hit me in the feels. It made me yearn for origins again. Loved the whole dark age Romanesque-ish aesthetic. It just felt really really good. It felt like home.

Main quest was really good this time around. Gameplay was good. Loved playing reaper. That third act was something I have been waiting for in an rpg.

I wish Rook wasn't so agreeable and nice. Its okay for "friends" and "found family" to have to conflict and drama and not also agree on everything. It really made me miss Vivienne and Wynne.

In my second play through I picked all the stern and aggressive options just to add some grit to Rooks personality.

I felt like the only Inquisitor that mattered was an inquisitor that romanced Solas. The only question that mattered was if you romanced Solas...which really sucked. I purposely did default inquisitor on my second play through just so I could trick solas into the fade without her in front of her.

I was really hoping that my inquisitor would show up at the end and kill him. It was on my bingo card but no...

I really wish they didnt add the inquisitor. But thats just one girls opinion. Key word here, opinion.

I called the Varric thing early on after getting Lucanis. So happy I didnt romance that guy. Once I saw he was possessed, I said no. Fool me once bioware.

Any way the Varric thing was really sad, I cried. It hit hard even though I knew the entire game he was dead..its a common trope.

It was a fun game, pretty game. Not the best dragon age game. The most memorable thing about this game for me will be the main quest and normally its the characters and I just feel like the characters got the shaft. I really wish I could have interacted with them more. They had a lot of quests which is great but having the option to click on them just to say hi would have done wonders.

I will not be making fan art this time around. I just have no urge or inspiration to make any.

[nerd-fandom-drabbles]

Paper Trail

Description: Lucanis wrestles with the possibility of betrayal as he delves into the mysteries surrounding his capture and subsequent disappearance. With Rook by his side, they piece together what few clues they have.

2461 Words

Characters: Lucanis Dellamorte and femme, elven Rook

Pairings: Lucanis x Rook, hint of potential Teia x Viago

Genre: Mystery???? Hurt and comfort.

Content Warnings: I'd rate this T for teen. Mostly for a few dirty words in English and Spanish and some adult themes. Adult themes: mentions of violence, betrayal, suspicion, sex. Spite being less of a physical gremlin and more of a voice in Lucanis's mind.

WARNING: Spoilers for all released Dragon Age: The Veilguard gameplay footage as of 10/26/24, The Wigmaker Job, and Eight Little Talons. Not necessary to have read the Tevinter Nights stories, though. I probably over-exposit for clarity.

Note: Probably will be OOC once the game comes out. Story details will probably be totally wrong, too.

Note 2: This is a part 1 of ???? If anyone actually reads it I might feel cute and write more.

Lucanis Dellamorte was tiring of sifting through papers. Although normally he was happy to compile and review intelligence dossiers or post-op status reports, today, he faced another beast entirely.

He sat at an old oak desk in Emmrich's library facing off against a tall stack of envelopes, the newest of which were freshly delivered. The twine bindings and wax seals all broken, their contents had been dumped out and arranged in some vague groupings for analysis. He had read through them all at least once already, but felt like he was missing something obvious. Exhaustion aside, he wasn't ready to stop digging for clues just yet.

He let out a big sigh.

His positioning in the room wasn't ideal and he knew he struggled to concentrate because of it. He would have preferred to be sitting with his back to a wall, as would be usual for him, but that wasn't currently possible due to the layout of Emmrich's furniture. It was already kind enough of Emmrich to let him use his space without a condition of said use being a complete reorganization of the room. So, he was instead situated as close to the door as he could be, relying on the sounds of footsteps, gait recognition, and the wide oak door's creaks to give away any potential intruders.

As a result, when he heard those familiar, soft-heeled footsteps make their way to the door, he already knew what to expect. Still, she opened the door ever-so-slowly and crossed the room quietly, maybe on tip-toes. Probably trying to surprise him.

“Boo!” she whispered, wrapping her arms around him and kissing his cheek, “Did I get you?”

“Ah, yes, mi amor.” He responded flatly, and softly stroked her arm, “You got me.”

“Lies,” she whispered in his ear, “What are you up to?”

“Tying together loose ends... or trying to, anyway.”

“Loose ends?” she asked and pulled away from him. He instantly missed her warmth.

She leaned against the desk now, pawing at his papers inquisitively.

“Old ship records. You're looking for details of your capture?”

“You know the one,” He leaned back in his chair, and met her eyes, now giving her his full attention.

And indeed she did. A year before they had met, Lucanis had been the target of a devastating kidnapping plot on his return voyage to Antiva from Tevinter. Venatori had surrounded and overrun his vessel, and with nowhere to escape, he was captured. He had spent nearly a year in their custody, subject to endless torture and experimentation in retaliation for the assassinations that earned him his moniker: “The Demon of Vyrantium.”

By the time Rook and Neve found him in his underwater prison, he had been saddled with more than a few extra demons of his own. One of them more literal than any of them could have expected.

She swallowed, “Hmm.”

“Months ago, when we were in Vyrantium looking for Zara, I went seeking the manifest of my ship from that night.”

“Alone? I would have come with you.”

“I... didn't entirely trust you yet.”

She wasn't hurt by this. Knowing everything he had been through, his caution was more than warranted. Still, she wished she could have joined him.

“Anyway, with the ship's captain having been killed in the attack, I went to the local port authority and asked for a copy of any documents. They said the ship I was on was with an independent trading company, and they'd inquire to the local merchant's guild.”

“And it took this long for them to get back to you?”

“It seems that particular ship had an incomplete record. It took months of back and forth between the three of us to confirm that some parts of the manifest simply did not exist.”

“Convenient.”

He shot her a knowing look of agreement. He gestured to the mountain of papers and envelopes on his desk, “This is the result of those exchanges.”

Her heart skipped a beat as his glance returned to her. The quiet intensity in his eyes never ceased to strike her.

“I've been scouring for clues, but... nothing stands out,” he said, rubbing his beard and leaning over his papers, “Any thoroughly incriminating evidence must have been among the redactions.”

“Still, there might be something they missed. Even a fake name or suspicious piece of cargo might be of interest to us,” Rook replied, and when Lucanis nodded, she then continued, “Have you shared this with Neve, yet? Following this sort of paper trail is her bread and butter.”

“Ah no, not yet,” Lucanis swallowed, “I wanted to reach a conclusion on my own before getting a second opinion.”

Rook sighed. She knew the real reason was that he was still sorting out who among the Veilguard he could trust. She had earned his good opinion through ceaseless dedication, honesty, and an uncanny ability to help him through his arguments with Spite. The hot, soul-bearing sex had probably helped, as well. The others on the Veilguard team, however, had presumably not been so lucky.

“Well, there is one thing. Something I expected to see that, conspicuously, wasn't there.”

“What?”

“I don't want to say. Not yet. Not until I'm sure.”

She sighed. This was a lot. “You know, your grandmother suspected that you were betrayed. By an ally.”

He stared blankly, “She said that? To you? When?”

“When Neve and I first met with Crows regarding your whereabouts. Before we met.” Rook fiddled with one of the pens on his desk, “She said it was why she didn't tell anyone about the fake body at your wake. She didn't know who to trust.”

“Mi amor. That is an important detail,” His forehead creased with frustration and he rubbed his furrowed brow, “Why didn't you mention it earlier?”

“I planned to tell you eventually, but I knew the rest of the Crows were looking into it and would report to you if they found anything. Besides, I didn’t want to add to your worries if there wasn’t anything you could do in the meantime.” She shook her head, “You had enough on your plate.”

“That is for me to decide, Rook. I know you were trying to protect me. But that was for me to decide.”

“I'm sorry. I... should have told you sooner.”

“I'm a big boy. Don't leave me in the dark.”

He could feel Spite weaving a sickly web in the back of his mind. She hides. She lies. And you think she loves you? He fought against the thoughts, knowing Spite's only interest was in isolating him further.

He met her pleading eyes and sighed; he was utterly unable to stay angry at her. “That changes things. She may have kept records of her thoughts on the matter somewhere... But where?”

The obvious place to look would be their ancestral home, however, this was Caterina they were talking about. She had kept a million secrets, and probably had a million different places to stash them. Plus, if Caterina had been correct, and the traitor was a close ally, it's possible they may have already been beaten to the punch, with any evidence destroyed or altered... But even if so, it was another lead.

He wondered briefly if she might have kept a safety deposit box in a bank vault somewhere. As next of kin, he would be able to get his hands on it, but anyone else would likely have more trouble. Anyone else except...

He thought for a moment, and then asked, “Who else knows about that little tidbit?”

“Uh, just those of us who were in the room, I assume.” She counted on her fingers, “Teia, Viago, Neve, and your cousin.”

“Illario?” He paled and she nodded, “Shit.”

“Why, what's wrong?” She paused in her tracks, blood running cool in her veins, “You suspect him.”

“He was supposed to be on that ship with me, but ran off on a 'job' last minute. If he bought a ticket, his name would have been on the manifest next to mine, but it wasn't. The page was ripped out.” He growled, “I know. Convenient.”

“Your own cousin? Luca, but why would he-?” She stopped, her mouth becoming dry, “Oh.”

“Oh?”

More secrets. Spite hissed.

“I've been... spending some casual friend time with Teia.”

He raised an eyebrow. This was news to him. Not good or bad. Just... news.

“What? She's fun! And I think when she and Viago finally hook up, they'll be great for double dates.”

He cracked the slightest hint of a smile. He actually liked that idea, even if the chances were slim. Those two were utterly hopeless.

“Anyway, she told me about your rivalry.”

“Rivalry? What rivalry? There is no rivalry.” At least, no more than any other set of boy-cousins around a similar age.

“She also told me you'd say that,” she chuckled dryly, “That Illario was always comparing himself to you but you always brushed it off.”

“What? No, that's a misreading of the situation,” he shook his head, “No, I was just older, and so he followed me around like a puppy.”

“Vhenan, I love you. But you are literally brushing it off right now,” he let out an annoyed little groan, and she continued, “You were Caterina's favorite. Everyone thinks you should be the heir. He's barely even a contender. He's jealous.”

He blinked. He had considered Illario a suspect, but hadn't been able to pin down a compelling motive. There had been conflicts in their past, over everything from jobs to girls, sure, but enough to collaborate with their enemies to take down family?

And jealousy? What even was a little jealousy among relatives, anyway? He was jealous of Illario's even bronze skin, ease with women, and ceaseless, grating charm, but he would never wish him harm over it. They were different, yes, but that was what made their friendship work.

Still, he was pulled back to the Wigmaker job. That entire night, Illario had seemed preoccupied with the possibility that Lucanis would be selected by Caterina to take on the role of First Talon in her stead. In fact, Illario had asked on one - no - two separate occasions, what Lucanis would do if she tapped him. In response, Lucanis had been honest and told him that he had no desire for the role, and would prefer Illario have it for himself. But he'd also been honest that Caterina could force him into it if she wanted to, and that they would need a plan to convince her to name Illario instead. And at the time, Lucanis had assumed that was enough to sate him.

But maybe he'd gotten impatient. Maybe he was more ambitious than Lucanis had given him credit for? Maybe he wanted his dear cousin out of the picture entirely?

Fuck off, Spite. I feel you in there. The entity merely cackled and retreated to the deeper parts of his sub-conscious, done stoking his fire, for now.

Truthfully, Illario was only a somewhat skilled stealth infiltrator, but he certainly had enough skill to break into a lightly-guarded private shipyard and alter the records unseen. If the Venatori had reached out to him and made him an offer... maybe let him in on the plan to get rid of their Demon problem...

The simmering in Lucanis's blood turned to a boil. That made motive, means, and opportunity. He gripped the armrests of his chair so hard he thought they might break. After a few tense moments, he bit his thumb and muttered under his breath, “Ay, ese mierdito. Imbécil. ¡Bastardo, coño!” He clenched his fist.

The air in the library was thick with silence. It wasn't a huge outburst; he'd hardly moved, but still, Rook was surprised. She didn't have to speak Antivan to know that he was angrier than she'd ever seen him. This was highly unusual, to say the least, and she wasn't sure what to do. It was far more common for her to have to pry his feelings out of him, or ply him with alcohol or affection to get him to emote at all. And even then, even with Spite's chiding haunting his waking thoughts, she'd never seen him so volatile. And yes, the circumstances were dire, but there were still so many unknowns.

“Luca, please. We don't know it was him.” She firmly placed her hand on the table and leaned towards him, “Besides, doesn't this all feel a little too easy? Anyone – anyone – could have requested copies of these documents. They're public record. Whoever did this knew we would get them eventually.”

“So?”

“So... The page was removed. His name might have been on it, but we can't know now. This could all be a frame job to tear you two apart when you need each other.”

He blinked hard, breathing heavy, slowly coming down from his rage.

“You're right. You're right. Thank you.” He took her hand and gave it a little kiss, “I'm sorry I-”

“We need more information,” she interrupted his apology. It wasn't necessary. Not from him. Not now. His rage, though perhaps momentarily misdirected, was perfectly valid in her eyes. And she knew that when the time was right, it would be useful.

He gave her hand a little rub with his thumb and then let it go. He took a deep breath. He fastened the nearest group of papers with a paper clip and set them down on the desk in a neat stack. He took another deep breath, firmly gripping the desk's edge. He needed to set aside his feelings and think clearly. Think. After a moment, he looked up at her.

“Let's set up a meeting with Teia and Viago. You, me and Neve. If we meet at Caterina's, we can kill two birds with one stone: go through her effects to see if we can dig up anything, and get a status report on anything they've uncovered through their investigations.”

“That's a good plan, Luca.”

He nodded. To anyone else, his expression might look neutral, but Rook knew him well enough by now to see the distress clearly on his face. Something about where he held his tension, probably. To be surrounded by so many enemies, and not know who to trust? Her heart sank for him. No wonder it had taken so long for him to open up to her.

“I hate seeing you like this, vhenan.” She reached out and placed a tender hand on his jaw. “Come.”

She pulled him into a warm embrace, and he melted into her, nuzzling into her neck as she snaked her arms around to stroke his hair and lower back.

“We will find who did this. I promise you."

[chaifootsteps]

Hi Chai,

Since I know you are not a transmisogynist, what are some of your favorite transfem characters or characters you hc as transfem?

Btw this is the Malva anon again, I've been sending asks more than once but I realized I may be a regular asker now lol

GL with Bluesky

*Rubs hands eagerly*. Gladly! Let's talk about some ladies!

Rachel Bighead from Rocko's Modern Life

My friend and I were watching this in VC the other night and Rachel's probably my favorite example of how to "trans" a character, especially one that's been around for a long time, right. Nothing about it feels shoehorned or asspulled or like it was done to appease a board somewhere. Ralph's defining characteristic throughout Rocko's original run was being absolutely miserable all the time, no matter how much success in life he achieved, and so when we learn that he went off soul searching and discovered Rachel was the answer? It made perfect, beautiful sense.

Rachel's just...amazing. She's dry as ever, but unflappably confident. She's Ralph at perfect peace, and the journey we see the Bighead family go on? Bev's immediate acceptance, Ed's tearful epiphany that that little tadpole who damaged his retina is still right in front of him, and the three of them hugging? God, this part of the special was so good. Rachel's so good.

Also, I ship her with Rocko like whoa.

2. Grell Sutcliffe from Black Butler

I freaking love Grell. She's absolutely nuts, has an awesome design and a kickass weapon, and was surprisingly poignant and not-meanspirited considering the time period the show came out in. I love how the English dub has her give a kind of orgasmic bird squawk every time something goes right for her. 10/10, would support every last one of her woman's wrongs.

(Incidentally, Grell's one of the reasons it annoys me when people call me transmysogynist based off my opinions on Arcee, because let me tell you, I did my tour of duty back during the Grell Wars.)

3. Jerry/Daphne from Some Like it Hot

First of all, this movie's amazing and if you haven't watched it and don't know the very famous ending, go remedy that right now. And then chase it with this fic. I'll wait.

I'm firmly in the camp that believes Jerry/Daphne is genderfluid, and holy cow, is this a lovely little story of self-discovery and falling in love. It's just so special to me. It makes me smile like a damn fool every single time.

4. Fem!Shep from Mass Effect

Okay, this one's kind of cheating because Shepards are customizable and can be anything you want, but I loved the idea from the get-go. That's in part because fem!Shep's model still moves like male!Shep, and it's especially noticeable when she sits, but it also just kind of feels fitting with a lot of the dialogue options. In conclusion, my Shepard was great and I need to replay that game with Legendary Edition because I miss her deeply.

5. Maevaris Tilani from Dragon Age

Mae's wonderful on so many levels and she's a character I'm very excited to meet face-to-face in Veilguard. She's stunning, an absolute powerhouse, she's good friends with my my beloved Dorian, and her relationship with her late chubs hubby was beautiful. I'm pretty sure she's not going to be romanceable, but if she was, I think my Rook would be doomed.

6. Hana from Tokyo Godfathers

This movie's a treasure and so is Hana. I like that she's old, she's stubbly, she doesn't pass flawlessly, but by god, if anyone deserves to be a mom, it's her.

7. Angel from Rent

Another genderfluid character! At least, that's my best guess. I've always loved that we have no fucking clue exactly what flavor of genderqueer Angel is, that not even the cast seems unanimous on it.

I loved Rent when I was younger, thought it was so deep and profound, and it's kinda not but Angel was easily my favorite character. Still is.

8. The Laughing Cow and the Lactaid Cow

They're cows that don't have udders and they're gay and in love, I don't make the rules.

9. Anode and Lug

Transfem lesbian bots from RiD's (the comic run IDW Arcee is from) much more competently written sister series, they're a demonstration of how to do it right. I like that one transitioned medically and the other didn't. Anode features very prominently in my Arcee fix-it fic and I grew very attached to her while writing it.

10. Marco from Star vs. the Forces of Evil

I'm gonna level with you, I never actually watched this show. But I was very invested in this one back in the day and disappointed when it never came true.

Honorable mention: Art the Clown from Terrifier

While I don't exactly headcanon Art as transfem, there's a fic on ao3 that explored the idea and I kind of dug it. I could see Art much younger, with many possible futures laid out, and that being one of them. I think if something fundamental hadn't broken in his soul/brain, he would have been either trans or a fruity old drag queen, happy as a clam.

Mind you, this is all fanon talk. My jaw would hit the floor with horror if this became canon and Art would go straight on the pile of characters I get yelled at for "misgendering" because if I refuse to swallow rotten food.

[catofadifferentcolor]

Terrible Fic Idea #91: Modern Girl in Thedas, but make it DA2

In honor of DA:V coming out next month I've been replaying DA:I. This is something of a trial because, having just finished a Hogwarts Legacy replay, it's easy to tell that this game is 10 years old - that, and I loved how focused and intimate DA2 feels. Yes, it has world-spanning implications, but it's really all about this guy trying to do his best by his friends and his family. I love it, and DA:I never inspired the same kind of feels.

All of which is a long way of saying: I got to thinking about that most famous of tropes, Modern Girl in Thedas, and I thought about how would I handle it?

Or: What if the MGiT were to appear in Kirkwall shortly before the Fifth Blight?

aka the Thedas is Not Enough fic

Just imagine it:

Rather than a true self-insert, I see this more as modern woman meets Thedas, with a middle-aged fan of the Dragon Age series waking up in the body of an unnamed background character in a Hightown estate sometime in early 9:30 following a severe illness. The keyword here is fan - the SI has played the games, read the fic, and glanced at the wiki, but couldn't write out a clear timeline or recall most codex entries.

The SI eventually learns that she's woken up in the body of Sofia Vidal, the 15-year-old daughter of the richest merchant in Kirkwall. Their family has a virtual monopoly on cloth trade on the northern cost of the Waking Sea and has distant ties to Orlesian Nobility as well as the Amells. Their Hightown estate abuts the future Hawke Estate, and if the term robber baron existed in Thedas it would probably apply to here them.

Now, going from the body of a middle-aged engineer from the modern world into the body of a teenager in a Medieval fantasy world is difficult... but luckily no one seems to notice, because it seems doubtful that anyone has ever noticed Sofia Vidal in her life, her family included. She was mousy and shy and easily startled and apparently an endless disappointment to the family for being more fond of books than hunting or fighting.

Because, as Sofia soon discovers, the Vidal family has aspirations. They can read the writing on the wall with regards to the current Viscount and are willing to go to any end to have their family be named the viscountcy.

To which end: Sofia is the youngest of seven children. Three died in the cradle or soon after. Her oldest brother - Gaspare, her senior by nearly twenty years - spends most of his time in Orlais with his titled wife, running the family business interests there. Their other two living siblings are mages, with Amalia sent to the Kirkwall Circle while her twin Agnese went to the Circle at Dairsmuid. It had been their father's hope that, should they not be able to secure the viscountcy themselves, one of his children could marry into the line... but Sofia is so unlikely to catch anyone's eye that her father despairs of her ever marrying at all.

All of which brings us back to the events of DA2.

Sofia may not know much, but she knows that the Blight is coming. She also knows that the conditions in Darktown are horrendous and only about to get worse as refugees flood the cities, so she buys a book on healing, collects some herbs, and sets up shop on the opposite side of Darktown from where Anders had his clinic. It's better than sitting around the estate all day and makes her feel like her transmigration has a purpose.

The events of canon proceed apace...

...which is something of a surprise, because for a long while it's quite easy for Sofia to forget that she's in a video game world at all. That is, until Anders appears at her door looking to swap healing recipes, trade potions, and - eventually - share a drink at the end of the day.

It's through Anders that she meets Garrett Hawke - a cheerfully sarcastic force mage of breathtaking power. He's the sort of powerful it would be easy to fear if he wasn't so affable and in control of his gifts. The idea that he could probably take over Kirkwall through sheer power of his magic and personality alone never seems to occur to him - which is good, because he could probably be DA's answer to Alexander the Great if he cared to try.

Sofia doesn't join the Kirkwall crew, however. She does her healing, gleefully watches their antics from the sidelines, and occasionally joins them for a drink at the Hanged Man.

Though she is the first to welcome the Hawkes to Hightown at the end of Act I, becoming quite close with Leandra. (For many years Leandra will harbor the hope that Sofia and her son will marry and give her many grandchildren to dote over, but neither are inclined that way. Especially after it's revealed they're third cousins.)

Sofia turns 19 in 9:34, the year Hawke becomes Champion.

It's also the year Sofia is introduced to Sebastian Vael, being dragged out of bed in the middle of the night to attend the prince, who is bleeding out in the foyer of Hawke's home following the events of Repentance. It's not the first time this has happened - Sofia's bedroom is infinitely closer than Ander's clinic - but it is perhaps the most embarrassing.

Embarrassing, because she prefers not to be introduced to royalty in her nightclothes. Sofia has standards - not many, mind, but she has them.

Luckily for her, Sebastian is far too out of it to recall what she was wearing. But he can't help but develop a crush on the kind healer who so diligently tended his wounds - one who also ministers to the poor and downtrodden, though she could easily choose to live a life of luxury.

What follows falls somewhere between the canon friend and rival romances. We get a Sebastian who wants to regain Starkhaven because Sofia deserves no less than a Prince but who has the calm and pro-mage sympathies of the friendship route.

But that of course takes time, because Sofia's not convinced at first that Sebastian's crush has nothing to do with seeing her in her nightclothes. (Nor, for that matter, does she particularly care for the idea of a chaste marriage or an aggressively anti-mage spouse. She'd not been a particular fan of Sebastian in the game, but hadn't hated him either.)

Canon proceeds apace. Hawke becomes Champion, Kirkwall is left without a viscount, and Sofia's father tries to marry her off to however looks most likely to succeed Dumar this week.

As the chaos mounts, the soft, slow romance between Sofia and Sebastian is a breath of fresh air. On Sebastian's part, it grows from a seed of fondness - and, yes, lust - to genuine affection as he gets to know Sofia. For her part, by the time Sofia realizes she cares for Sebastian she's already in deep. Its friendship turned to love, which is the best and strongest.

They wed in a small ceremony in 9:36, only telling Sofia's father after the fact. As Sebastian has to leave the Chantry to do so, they're forced to camp out at Hawke's estate for several weeks before finding a small place of their own. This is awkward - mostly because the Vidal estate right next door and Sofia's father is a pompous ass on the best of days.

As the calendar turns to 9:37, matters reach their tipping point. Anders blows up the Kirkwall Chantry and Hawke is forced to kill him in hopes of restoring order. This fails and events of the endgame play out with Hawke siding with the mages.

Hawke goes on the run, helping mages across the Free Marches get to safety.

Sebastian makes good on his promise of taking back Starkhaven for Sofia, making her a princess in truth. The city becomes a sanctuary district for many of the mages in northern Thedas, much as Redcliffe was for the mages in the south. This doesn't prevent the events of DA:I, but halves the numbers of conscripts available for Alexius to conscript later. They send forces to help Kirkwall rebuild... but the city is still lawless and in turmoil when the Conclave occurs in 9:40.

Per Sofia's urging, Sebastian helps the Inquisition in its early days... though she does make it clear that she thinks the Inquisition's only aim should be to close the Breach.

But for the most part Sebastian and Sofia end up living fairly happily in Starkhaven. They have a larger family than Sofia ever imagined herself wanting - 5 kids, but magical epidurals are a wonderful thing. It's not a utopia, but it's the best that can be expected given the politics of the time. Their eldest succeeds their father as Prince of Starkhaven while their next oldest, not to be outdone, eventually gets themselves named Viscount of Kirkwall - just as the Vidal family had always dreamed.

Bonuses include:

Sofia becoming deeply, deeply over-invested in the relationship between Hawke and Fenris. So much so that for a while Sebastian thinks she's interested in one or the other or both and resolves to let her pursue her happiness without any interference from him, only to have it knocked into his head by a third-party that Sofia doesn't want be with them, she wants them to be with each other. This should be played for maximum humor and confusion.

An exceptionally complicated relationship with the Chantry. Sebastian is very much a committed Andrastian, whereas Sofia was agnostic at best in the modern world. Are demons and magic and the Breech proof that the Maker exists? Should she follow the rituals of the religion for Sebastian's sake or be honest about her beliefs? Can she open her mind enough to give Andrastianism an honest try? &c.

Sofia coming to view Leandra as second mother. Though she tries her best to prevent the events of All That Remains, she's not a fighter. All she's able to do is injure Quentin and alert Hawke to the problem sooner; Leandra still dies, but it's before Quentin is able to reanimate his perfect bride.

An engineer being forced to come to terms with magic. It makes the transition to a world at Middle Ages level of scientific advancement easier than it otherwise would be (magically running water!) but still makes Sofia's basic knowledge of germ theory a great leap forward in her Darktown clinic; and

Sofia gaining a reputation for being a great storyteller by blatantly stealing stories from the modern world to entertain children at her clinic. Varric eventually "borrows" some of these ideas and ends up writing the DA version of Harry Potter set in a fictional Circle in the years leading up to the mage rebellion.

And that is surprisingly more than I had. To be frank, the Sebastian romance snuck up on me because it's not one I usually go for, but the muse wants what it wants. As always, feel free to adopt this bun - just link back if you do anything with it.

More DA Ideas | More SI Ideas | More Terrible Fic Ideas

[katkrisis]

Beneath Bonds and Blades

Chapter Five: Fear and Spite

Spite grumbled in exasperation and took another half step closer to her. When he breathed, Rook could feel the metal of the buttons on Lucanis’s vest graze against her crossed arms. He stood there for a brief moment in silence, his eyes staring into hers in an attempt to intimidate her, but Rook still didn’t move. Suddenly, the corner of his lip pulled up into a smirk and she heard him let out an eerie chuckle as he leaned away.

 “You’re different. Than others. You’re not… Afraid.”

“Should I be?”

“He is.”

Summary:

After plans to stop the Dread Wolf from tearing down the Veil go sideways, Antivan Crow Rook De Riva meets Lucanis Dellamorte, the Demon of Vyrantium, for the first time and requests his help to fight the gods that threaten to destroy their world. Rook quickly learns that underneath the stories of the contracts and assassinations is something else entirely. 

“Beneath Bonds and Blades” is an expanded retelling of Rook and Lucanis’s romance from the game Dragon Age: The Veilguard.

Prologue | Previous Chapter

Read on AO3

Author Note: Since I’m following the timeline of the game, I will be using she/her pronouns for Taash in this chapter. I will use they/them when referring to Taash after they come out to Rook later on.

It had been almost two weeks since the dragons attacked Treviso and Minrathous and Rook had done her best not to dwell on what had already happened. However, when it was late and she was alone, her remorse came back to haunt her. The deep echoing calls of the sea life outside her window would warp into sounds of leather wings or distant screeching. When she closed her eyes, she could see the blight in Ashur’s eyes making them appear red and raw and the veins around them almost black. She would awake with a start, a throbbing behind her eyes and the hair on the back of her neck standing on end. Sometimes she’d see Solas’s silhouette against the light of the aquarium out of the corner of her eye, but he always disappeared the moment she turned her head to look.

Rook did what she could during her waking hours to focus on what needed to be done. A few days ago, Harding had received word about the dragon hunter she had inquired about in Rivain and Rook had joined her in the recruiting mission. Rivain was across Rialto Bay, just a quick boat ride away from Treviso, and Rook had been there once before on a contract. She remembered it being uncomfortably hot and she had been reluctant to return but she was left with no other choice. They needed a dragon hunter. 

When they arrived at the Hall of Valor, Harding introduced Rook to Isabela, an old friend of Varric’s from his days with the Champion of Kirkwall. Isabela was a tall, older woman with dark hair and copper skin. She wore a pirate hat and was adorned with gold jewelry, looking almost exactly how Rook thought the leader of the Lords of Fortune would. She’d heard so many tales of Isabela from Varric and Rook had wanted to stay and hear some of them from the woman herself, but she and Harding had a job to do.

Her next trip would be to the Grand Necropolis in Nevarra City. Bellara had been in contact with a Fade expert there by the name of Professor Emmrich Volkarin and he had agreed to meet with them in a couple of days. Rook had never been to Nevarra but she’d heard stories from Crows who had. She wasn’t quite sure how she felt about the Grand Necropolis and the Mortalitasi who resided there. She was worried she might not get along with the Professor. After all, her livelihood depended on ending lives and a necromancer could bring those lives back. Sort of. In her mind, it was unnatural.

However, before she went to Nevarra, Rook was needed back home. She had received word about Venatori who may have infiltrated the Crow ranks and her help had been requested in finding them. She’d made plans to return early the next morning and had gone to ask Lucanis if he wanted to join her, but he hadn’t been in the pantry. Outside in the courtyard, Davrin was attempting to train Assan despite the griffin’s loud objections. She asked him if he’d seen Lucanis and he hadn’t.

After giving up on her search for the other Crow, she began making her way up the stairs in the library when she heard loud voices echoing up from the eluvian room below. Rook frowned. She didn’t realize anyone was going out for the day and for a brief moment she paused to listen. Maybe Lucanis had gone back to Treviso and was just returning. The next voice she heard was deep and angry and caused her to let out her breath in a huff before turning on her heel to quickly descend back down the stairs.

Taash was the dragon hunter who Harding had found. Rook wasn’t sure how old Taash was but she couldn't be much older than her early twenties. She was blunt and spoke her mind, which Rook found shocking at first since not many Antivans were as straight-forward, yet she’d quickly come to appreciate it. Rook also saw a bit of herself in Taash when they first met and she jumped in to face a group of Antaam without a second thought. At that moment, she began to understand why Viago had been so frustrated with her when she had done the same a year ago.

Rook opened the doors to the eluvian room and was met with the blue glow coming from the large mirror at the end of the raised walkway. Standing in front of the mirror was Taash with her feet planted firmly on the ground. Between them was Lucanis. He didn’t turn to look at her when she entered and Taash kept her eyes focused on him. Lucanis was normally tense around the Lighthouse but from the way his spine was ramrod straight and his shoulders were squared, Rook knew that there was something else going on. She took a quiet step into the room, keeping the palm of her hand on the door to make sure it closed softly to avoid startling anyone in what already seemed like a tense situation.

“You better let Lucanis go! I’ll hurt both of you if I have to,” Taash growled, her voice faltering just a little at the end and her hands curling into fists at her sides. That’s when Rook realized that Lucanis’s rigidity was likely Spite’s doing. Spirits were allegedly more common in Rivain so it made sense why Taash wasn’t hesitating to stand up to Spite, despite potentially being uncertain. Some of the others, like Harding who stood not far from the door, were more wary. Rook didn’t know what stories Taash may have already heard about Lucanis and Spite.

“Back, demon!” Harding said when Lucanis shuffled toward Taash before throwing up her arms in frustration when he ignored her. “Isn’t standing up to them supposed to work?”

“Lucanis’s situation is… a little different,” Rook explained as she approached. “The rules that normally apply for possessed mages may not work on him.”

“Rook! Thank goodness. It’s the demon! It’s taken over Lucanis. He’s trying to leave!” Harding exclaimed and turned slightly to face her without turning her back on Lucanis. She looked relieved to see Rook but that relief quickly turned back into panic.

Rook watched as Lucanis peered over his shoulder before facing her. His eyes were glowing a strange purple shade and he had an odd, almost twisted expression on his face that seemed to shift into something unfamiliar as his unsettling eyes scanned over her. She thought that if Spite was to take over Lucanis, he would’ve looked less like the assassin. Ever since arriving in Minrathous to stop Solas’s ritual, Rook had seen more demons than she thought she’d see in a lifetime. None of them had seemed human. Was it because they were demons who escaped from the Fade and not abominations?

Despite knowing that Lucanis was possessed, there had been little that Rook had seen or heard to suggest that he actually was. The only physical manifestations she’d witnessed from Spite were his wings when they fought and when he’d hurt Lucanis his first day at the Lighthouse. Occasionally she would catch Lucanis muttering incoherently or shooting quick glances to empty spaces but Rook had only assumed that it had to do with the demon after she’d caught him doing it in the Ossuary.

“Smells like… jam,” he snarled to Harding after inhaling deeply before turning his attention to Taash. “... And brimstone!” 

“Rook, do something!” Harding pleaded.

Rook kept her arms low but motioned behind her toward the door. “You and Taash can go. I’ll talk with him.”

Taash opened her mouth to protest but Rook stopped her with a shake of her head and the Qunari quickly shut it with an audible snap of her teeth. Taash made her way cautiously past Lucanis to Harding, placing her hand on the back of the dwarf’s shoulder to lead her out of the room. Rook’s eyes focused back on Lucanis once Taash and Harding were behind her and she waited for the door to close.

Before Rook could speak, Lucanis began to saunter toward her. The way he moved wasn’t quite fluid. Each step seemed forced and tense, his boots occasionally dragging on the floor. The corners of Lucanis’s mouth curved up into a smile… or would it be Spite’s? He was the one in control, after all.

“Spite, stop.” Rook said sternly, narrowing her eyes and crossing her arms. “I’m not going to let you take Lucanis through the eluvian.”

 “I could. You won’t… Hurt him.” Spite didn’t have Lucanis’s Antivan accent and Rook wasn’t sure if she should be surprised by that. His voice was deep and mocking, and when he spoke, the words came out strained and gravely like he struggled to speak. 

 “I don’t have to hurt him to stop you.”

“I thought Rook. Was Fun.” Spite practically pouted in a ridiculing way.

Rook raised an eyebrow at him. “I doubt whatever you have planned is “fun”. At least not for Lucanis. Where are you trying to take him? Off a cliff somewhere?”

“No,” Spite sneered, his upper lip jerking upward like he was offended. “Out. I want. Out”

“I gathered that. But it doesn’t answer my question.”

Spite made a low noise in frustration and took a quick step forward, moving more quickly than Rook thought he could. He was uncomfortably close now but Rook held her ground. “Out. Of this. Prison!”

“If you haven’t noticed, you’re not in the Ossuary anymore,” Rook said, lifting one arm to gesture around them vaguely before crossing it with the other again. The light that reflected on the walls from the water below the walkway didn’t exactly prove her point, she thought afterward.

Spite grumbled in exasperation and took another half step closer to her. When he breathed, Rook could feel the metal of the buttons on Lucanis’s vest graze against her crossed arms. He stood there for a brief moment in silence, his eyes staring into hers in an attempt to intimidate her, but Rook still didn’t move. Suddenly, the corner of his lip pulled up into a smirk and she heard him let out an eerie chuckle as he leaned away.

“You’re different. Than others. You’re not… Afraid.”

“Should I be?”

“He is.”

“Lucanis?” 

Spite hummed in affirmation and he cocked his head to the side as he took a section of Rook’s hair off her shoulder. She clicked her tongue in annoyance. If she tried to smack his hand away, she was certain he’d only retaliate and she wanted to get through this without things escalating. Her eyes narrowed, watching cautiously as Spite brought her hair close to his face and rubbed the strands between his fingers and thumb. She thought she heard him mutter something about chocolate. Was he… smelling her hair?

“He’s afraid of the demon possessing him? I can’t imagine why,” Rook said sarcastically.

“He wasn’t. Before. Fear is new.” Spite watched as her hair slid through his fingers.

Rook scoffed. “He was imprisoned before. The only people he risked hurting were his captors. Now there are people around him that he doesn’t want you to harm.”

“Lucanis fears. For some. More than others. Family. Friends…” Spite’s lips pulled back into an uneasy smile and he dropped her hair back to her shoulder before tucking it behind her ear. The feel of Lucanis’s fingers brushing against her ear made her freeze. “... Rook.” 

Rook felt her heart thud hard once against her ribs at the sound of her name and she swallowed as Spite dragged Lucanis’s fingertips along her jaw then dropped his hand. She needed to remember who she was speaking with. Spite was a demon. He would say whatever he thought Rook wanted to hear if he believed it would earn him his freedom. Rook knew she shouldn’t take it to mean much. However, Spite singling her out from the others, all while his indigo eyes stared into hers while his fingers brushed against her skin, made something in her chest flutter.

Spite moved, his shoulder brushing against hers as he began to walk around her slowly. She followed him with her eyes until she could no longer see him. He trailed his fingers against her back, just below where her hair fell. Rook did her best not to flinch though her hand, hidden beneath her crossed arms, twitched and she clenched her jaw. 

“What do you want, Spite?” Rook asked as she calmly took a step away and turned to face him.

 “I want.” Spite matched her step to closing the distance between them again. “Out.” 

“You are out,” Rook sighed and dropped her arms to her sides. They were going in circles.

“No!” Spite snapped. “No. You need. To talk. To Lucanis! He doesn’t listen! I just. Want out. Of this prison!”

“What makes you think he’ll listen to me?”

“He always. Listens. To Rook! For Rook! He –” Spite suddenly stumbled back a few steps and made a strange gurgling sound. His hands flew up to his head and tangled tightly into his hair. “NO!”

As Spite thrashed around, Rook was worried that he might take a wrong step and tumble over the edge of the bridge into the water below. Luckily, it didn’t last long. He eventually stopped and slowly lowered his arms. Lucanis blinked a few times at his hands, turning them over and flexing his fingers. 

“How did…? Rook…?” He lifted his head and looked at Rook, his eyes back to their usual dark brown and his eyebrows creased together in confusion. He relaxed as realization came over him and he lowered his gaze again. “Ah…”

“Spite tried to take you through the eluvian,” she explained, pointing toward the large mirror behind him.

“I need a coffee…” Lucanis said after he let out a long, heavy sigh. His hand reached up to rub the back of his neck as he began to turn his back to Rook to head for the door. 

“Wait,” she said quickly and reached out to grab the sleeve of his shirt to stop him. “You can’t just caffeinate yourself out of this. What's going on?”

“It's harder for Spite to take control if I'm awake. So… I try to stay awake,” he replied with a shrug. Suddenly it made sense why he always seemed so tired, despite how much time he kept himself locked away in his room. He was trying to keep Spite under control. 

His first day at the Lighthouse, Lucanis had explained to them about Spite and what he knew of their situation. It made Neve and Bellara nervous. Rook had been nervous too, not of Spite himself, but of what Spite might do to Lucanis. That was the first time he talked about Spite’s ability to control him while he slept. And it wasn’t the last. Rook felt awful. She had greatly underestimated just how much sleep Lucanis had been getting since he arrived. Maybe if she had realized it sooner, she could have helped find a way for Lucanis to get some sleep while keeping Spite under control. 

  The more she thought about it, the more she began to realize that Lucanis had probably already requested help, just not from her. He’d been talking to Bellara and Neve that first day about Spite, and Rook had seen Lucanis and Neve talking quietly together several times since then. Had Lucanis requested Neve’s help? Neve was a mage and had more knowledge about demons and possessions while Rook knew next to nothing on the subject. It made sense to go to Neve… but it still made her feel agitated.

She loosened her grip on his sleeve but he didn’t pull his arm away. “How long has it been since you last slept?”

“Maybe an hour or two a couple of days ago…? Luckily, it seems Spite decided to behave himself.”

“You can’t just force yourself to stay awake. I’m sure there’s something else we can do. We–”

“I'm fine, Rook,” he said tensely, still refusing to look at her. He sounded exhausted and disheartened. “I’m sorry. I didn't want you to see this. ”

It was bound to happen eventually, she thought, especially if his only line of defense was to stay awake. She wanted to support him but she was worried he would mistake anything she said as pity. Her eyes fell down to her fingers curled around the sleeve of his shirt before she reluctantly let go and took a step back to put some distance between them.

“Look, Lucanis… I…” she started, unsure of what she was about to say, but it didn’t matter. Lucanis interrupted her before she could finish.

“It won’t happen again,” he said, quickly glancing at Rook out of the corner of his eye before making his way out of the eluvian room. She watched him disappear behind the heavy door then until it closed, echoing hollowly around her.

[mrs-gauche]

Vows & Vengeance Episode 1

ALRIGHT GUYS! As always, I'm super late to the party (although for once, I actually have a good reason, which is that I'm currently kinda in the middle of renovating my place lol), and while I first listened to the episode on Thursday, I just wanted to let it sink in a bit and listen to it again a few times, to really appreciate all the details. :D So here are a trillion few notes on the first episode (spoiler, I loved it! <3333) and I hope this doesn't sound too jumbled, I haven't had a lot of sleep lately. 😂😂💀💀

- Ok, so my first reaction to the ending was basically: "OH MY GOD NOTHING CAN EVER GO RIGHT", "DAMN THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY" and sobbing for Elio, I guess. lol

- My general thoughts: I loved it!! ❤️❤️❤️ I felt like it was gripping and immersive from the beginning, but also genuinely funny and moving at times! I think this first episode did a good job of setting up the plot, the pacing was good and I'm already invested in the new characters! The sound design and voice acting was top notch (albeit maybe a bit over the top and a little cheesy in a couple of scenes lol) and I absolutely LOVED the little nuggets of the Veilguard soundtrack we got throughout (Zimmer and Balfe confirmed!!). There are a few tiny nitpicks, but overall this was fantastic and correct me if I'm wrong, but I've never heard of a game being marketed with an audio drama before? 😂 But looking at Dragon Age's amazing voice cast (and the fact that they all made us develop a voice kink lmao), this makes so much sense and I need like a hundred more of these in the future. lol

Notes on the episode itself:

- The narrator reminds me so much of the ones in these old anime dubs. I was expecting him to be like "LAST TIME ON DRAGONBALL Z". He got lost in the wrong dragon franchise. lol Really cool voice though!

- I LOOVE how it starts off with a minute of just the ambient sounds, chatters and music of the tavern, to really get that immersion, as if you just walked into this place yourself. - That new rendition of "Oh Grey Warden" hit me in the feels ngl.. ;-;

- Nadia just walking it and poisoning Olen to get answers was such a badass introduction to our main character! - I like how the narrative is neatly tied together by making this a retelling of what happened, starting off with loads of questions and by the end we're back in the present again.

- Nadia and Elio are so sweet nawww <3333 - Those sounds of Elio waking Nadia up were straight up ASMR. lol - The tune that's playing in the back here is sooo nice, I wonder if it's part of the new Love theme or something. 🥹❤️

- A sort of forbidden love between Liberati and Altus, oh this better end f*cking well!! 💀💀💀 - Well, that birthday got cancelled REAL fast. lol - I get Nadia's outbreak, but DAMN, she went OFF on him from like 0 to 100 in a heartbeat. lmao I guess something was bottling up for quite some time. - "I'm sorry" Oh no. I notice a certain pattern. *sob* - Again, that track that's playing here, wooow. Goosebumps! It's a super tragic rendition of the main theme. I just know this one's gonna hit so hard whenever that plays in Veilguard. 😭

- I wonder if the docks here are the same we've seen in screenshots. :3 - The soundtrack that's playing here reminds me SO MUCH of Unravel (one of my favorite tracks in recent years! <3333) - I like Nadia and Vik's dynamic. Super authentic. :D

- Nadia's reaction to the gold and then "TRIPLE the bag for delivery??" Yeah, Solas truly is the richest apostate hobo in all of Thedas. Those vaults from Trespasser come in handy now. Good thing the currency of old Elvhenan is apparently still valid. lol - Solas' quest of collecting every ancient powerful artifact continues. - Isn't this like the second time now that Solas indirectly hired someone to break into the Archives? lol They really need to improve that security. (Watch there being a quest in Veilguard where you have to break in there again, but it's impossible due to the amounts of guards now and Solas is like "Yeah, that might be my fault, sorry." lol)

- Super random thought, but judging by the sound design, there's gotta be lots of chickens running around in the streets of Minrathous. lol - NEVE!! <3333 (I'm sorry to anyone who had the wildest conspiracy theories about that teaser image and was expecting someone else. lmao) - So, wait. Does that mean Solas also anticipated Neve to talk to Elio? Or maybe someone else was supposed to do that but Neve got there first? lol

- Nadia and Vik have got to be the noisiest thieves I've ever heard. LMAO HOW did you manage to steal anything until now?? 💀💀💀 - I love how you keep hearing Vik laughing in the distance while distracting the guards. lol

- I wonder if all the turmoil could have been avoided if they just informed Elio about his ancestor's connection to the Eye and the Venatori from the get go. I guess he needed that push of knowing to never be able to return to his life in Tevinter to go along with it, but.. *sigh* poor Elio. - "I trust you." UHGGHH We were on the right track there. 😭😭 - That music AGAIN?? Chilllls!! - Nadia just casually destroying hundreds of years worth of relics. Love it. lol - "FLAME BLAST!!" Oh, this is so anime. lmaoo - Elio going from "WE'RE NOT DOING THIS" to fully enjoying beating up templars and go full criminal in a matter of seconds as soon as he sees his girl in her element. He loves her so much. <33

- "Who's the hat?" lol - That groan after the Dread Wolf name drop? Yeah, that was actually me. lmao - So, I assume this also ties in with Neve already knowing about Solas and his shenanigans in Minrathous when she met Varric in The Missing. Maybe it was this very incident that Neve was talking about? - Noooo, Vik!! 😭😭 (I knew you for like five minutes, but you made in impact. lol) - Sooo... I take it these "assassins" were actually Venatori, since they were the ones going after the Eye in the first place? Or am I stupid now? - "The eye went boom!" Love that delivery. lol - "She's trying to freeze the bay!" Yeah, Neve just DID that. What a boss. - "An elf with a fancy tongue." Oh, I know who THAT is. lmao

- "Me and you." 😭😭😭😭 You two are killing me. - That motif AGAIN. 😭😭😭😭😭 - Oh, for fuck's SAKE. Solas really always has the best flippin timing. They're all sweet and loving and here goes our disaster man "I'm about to ruin this couple's day so good." 💀💀💀 It's her BIRTHDAY, dammit!! - "Ominous looking chap in the road" lmao All I could think of there was THIS (for anyone who gets the reference LMAO)

- How is it that I knew he would appear in this episode from the teaser, and yet I still freaked out so hard. lmaoo After such a long time, it's like any second of new Solas content makes my heart skip a beat (or several). 😭😭 I still can't believe we're getting all this. 🥹

- Look, I may be a Solasmancer and have my biases, but godDAMN.. GDL is so good. HE IS SO GOOD. That Welsh accent. That rolling lilt. A voice like velvet that can be both so smooth and so sharp. There is just something about his performance that has you on the edge of your seat every time he's talking and I looove these little moments when you can so clearly hear that cheeky little smile in his voice. 💜

And it's so nice to hear him talk so calmly (well, at first at least lol) and kinda playful again, opposed to how super anxious he sounds at the beginning of Veilguard. 🥺 It's kinda interesting to compare this performance with DAI now, because now he's fully embracing the Dread Wolf role, and I keep thinking this is him after being isolated for the past ten years. ;-;

- Anway, so Nadia "unknowingly employed by the Dread Wolf" gets her pay from Richie Rich and girl, that would've been the moment to LEAVE. *sob* - "What other choice do we have?" Well, I dunno, RUN?? lmao - *chuckles* "I will demonstrate." Alright, I'm dead. Why did you say it like THAT? T_____T - Hearing Solas talk in elven after so long.. Dead again. Overkill. And yes, he's saying the exact same thing he said to Sera once. No, we don't know what it means. lol Maybe Sera IS actually an ancient magical artifact and he tried to trigger.. something. lol - That whole flippin dialogue. Solas please stop talking like an old witch trying to lure her prey into her lair. 💀 - "I do not play games." *screaming* - Honestly, I was like "NOOO WHY would you GO with himmm" but then I remembered, SHIT I WOULD FOLLOW HIM ANYWHERE. Hell, I *HAVE* followed him anywhere. To Hell and back. 💀💀💀💀💀 - Solas' persuasion game is at maximum at all times.

- "Energy is neither dark nor light." Speak for yourself, Trickster God of In Between. - "It is the Fade. The Veil is fragile here."

- Solas finally gets to answer questions again, but Nadia is rude about it. 😂 Solas slightly approves AND disapproves. lol - "Kindly remove your blade from my neck."

- Those damn Venatori at it AGAIN with their hunt for magical McGuffins. After TN and the Missing, I'm starting to believe that is all Solas did in the last ten years, snatching one deadly toy out of the their hands after another. lmao - "And it is up to me to ensure we arrive at the best possible outcome." Oh, we're so doomed. - "You're sharper than you let on." Here we go again with the backhanded compliments. lol Ohhh, how I missed it.

"Some people confuse a reckoning as an ending." "I seek... regeneration."

Holy shit. The voice. The long pause. The delivery of that last line. Shivers down my spine. It feels eerie. Like he sounds.. desperate.. and maybe a little.. insane? lmao (That's how you start to talk if you've been separated from your soulmate for ten years 💔💔💔)

Ok look, I've seen a TON of people thinking that, because of the way he says this and him using the word "reckoning" ("For a reckoning that will shake the very heavens"), this HAS to be whatever part he took of Mythal speaking now that has taken over his mind or something. But.. I don't think so? lol

I honestly think this is just Solas who, after a thousand years of preparing to "heal" the world again that he broke, even after admitting to himself that this world and its people are in fact real and he has to destroy it, is SO close to getting there now and there's NO ONE who could possibly understand him or how he truly feels or what any of this or the Blights/Titans/spirits/gods/Veil even truly ARE, so no WONDER he sounds a little f*cking unhinged. 💀💀💀

The choice of words is very interesting though.. "Regeneration" is not something he has ever used, BUT it immediately made me think of the line "But still, some hope remains for restoration" in Trespasser. This is what google tells me:

Regeneration represents a form of upgrade from restoration. If restoration means “to make something well again,” regeneration, for some authors, means “to make it better” than a (supposed) origin condition.

Regeneration: "a renewal or restoration of a body, bodily part, or biological system (such as a forest) after injury or as a normal process/ or a spiritual renewal or revival"

You know.. if I read "restoration of a bodily part or biological system", you know what's the first thing that comes to my mind yet AGAIN.

Look, that Titan's body is SPLIT IN HALF and we know that this was kinda the catalyst for everything Solas did back then, so... I'll just leave that here and listen to rest of the episode now. lmaoo

- "And the eye will make us fix that?" "More or less." dksdjjgdkfvlf THE SMILE IN HIS VOICE. What does that even MEAN? What do you MEEEAN, SIR?? I would've RUN out of that cave SO flippin FAST. - "And you're sure this is safe?" "As safe as we make it." *literally two minutes later* "SOLAS, SOMETHING IS WROOONG!!" This is a goddamn comedy show. lmaoo - "Silence, please." lol at him still being polite. - "This is all to be expected!" *five seconds later* "WE MUST FLEE!" I BUST out laughing. WHY are you such a DISASTER. Nothing EVER goes right and yet you always keep trying, you fool, omg!! - I don't think we have ever heard Solas so distressed. lol Like, not even when Wisdom died or at the beginning of Veilguard. - "Take my hand!" I would've never thought to hear THAT Trespasser line repeated under those circumstances, but here we are. lmaooo - We know Solas is a hopeless romantic, so for him to see that sweet couple torn apart because of him, and him still trying to save Nadia, I'm not ok. - Solas being responsible for Elio getting banished to the Fade and him being trapped there not long after.. Do you believe in karma? 😂 - "I'M SORRY!" WHY DOES IT ALWAYS END WITH HIM SAYING THAT. 😭

- So.. uh... what even WAS the plan, exactly? lol Like, what was supposed to happen?? Maybe they should've asked a few more questions after all. 💀 - That following scene with Nadia all alone. I got chills again. That hit different. ;-;

- "Where can I find this wolf??" Oh, she is about to hunt him down. 😶 "...I'll be back." Nadia in full Terminator mode now. 😂 - How are she and Elio connected now though? How can she hear him? 🥺 And I can't help but think about whoever was left in the Fade in DAI again, too. 😭😭😭 - Not the credits making me almost sob AGAIN because of the music. 😭 It is so so good.

So there we are. Everything went wrong, a couple is doomed and Solas is sorry. So, nothing changed. LMAO Everything as usual. 💀💀💀 Solas, I swear, if you don't get these two back together again and pay Lavellan a visit afterwards, my Rook might rethink listening to your advice in Veilguard. lmao

I can't wait for that next episode! This was so much fun and an amazing start, and I'm so excited to hear all the other companions! :D ❤️❤️❤️

[feralcatalyst]

Do you have any tips for drawing?

Never stop. Just keep drawing. No matter what your evil brainworms whisper in your ear, no matter what the public or the internet says about it, no matter what you do, do not stop. Take breaks, of course, stretch and refresh yourself with water, but never GIVE UP on drawing. The more you do it, the more you study and watch and learn and the more time you spend actually drawing, the more progress you will make. Hitting a wall? Does what you draw look bad to you? That's GREAT!!! Study what you made, and figure out WHAT and WHY it looks bad to you. Are the eyes wonky? Get to the grindstone and study different styles of eyes, from toony, to realistic, find something that looks and feels good to you, and practice practice practice. Is the hand looking off? Look at your own hand! Look at hands other people have drawn, study and watch and learn and replicate, even tracing and reference is okay so long as credit is given when and where necessary! As long as you are taking steps to learn what you are doing *wrong* then eventually you will find solutions and ways to make them look right! It may take you days, weeks, months, even years, but if you never give up, you will eventually continue improving. My personal art history below the cut for context, I hope it helps and brings some form of inspiration to everyone, even non-artists trying to learn or get into hobbies or new skills <3

I've been drawing ever since I could hold a pencil, so let's say since I was about 2. No one taught me how to draw, as I aged I started to notice that things were 'wrong' with my art and I would work to fix them. I realized very early that most animals don't have 4 legs on one side, so I'd draw two legs and add the "missing" two behind them, I saw the sun did NOT in fact wear sunglasses or have a face so I stopped with that childhood trope, I drew and drew and drew the things I loved the things I wanted the things I found beautiful cool or mysterious. (Dragons and yoshi's...) I was easily the best artist in my elementary school and I won some award for a recycling calendar our whole grade submitted art to.

I started growing up into a cringe teen that loved wolves and anime and emo skater aesthetic. My focus went from free-handing art to learning to do "real" practiced and professional style art, IE sketching the drawing in pencil and then lining it in ink, and then coloring it with colored pencils. I got my first drawing tablet around 13, when i was also old enough to join deviantart. I made fanart for everyone that reached out to talk to me, I drew characters I wasn't used to drawing, I wanted to make people happy so I drew and drew and drew for my friends and artists I looked up to. I started drawing fanart of my favorite tv shows, I dabbled more and more into digital art and I was BAD but I kept at it. I didn't let my mediocrity stop me. I knew I would never get better if I didn't at least TRY. There are no failures in art, only happy accidents. The only time you 'fail' is when you refuse to stop trying. But you can pick the hobby/job/skill back up whenever you ARE ready to try again. It's never lost to you.

Then I got into a car accident at 16. I had a concussion and a traumatic brain injury. I was injured severely enough that I had to relearn how to do… Well almost everything. I had trouble walking, speaking, playing games, and worst of all for me at least, drawing. I couldn't do it anymore. The wires in my brain weren't bridging the right connections anymore, trying to draw was like trying to speak a different language and no matter how hard I tried everything I had in me was just…. gone. I had to start from scratch, a blank slate but this time I had everything going against me, a brain that struggled to remember retain information and learn, and a body that struggled to move and react as I intended. I was so depressed, it took almost a year to get back on some semblance of improvement, and just as I stubbornly refused to stop drawing, I stubbornly forged my path forward. I got into a new fandom, started seriously practicing the human form since before then I'd only focused on animals and fantasy creatures. Yeah I sucked, my anatomy was shit, my understanding of the body the facial expressions perspective it was all off. But I kept doing it.

I started drawing smut when I was 18, it helped me immensely in practicing how bodies could interact, what made poses or people feel rough or stiff, I studied porn and cgi and famous smut artists, i took time to learn what I liked about it, what was right but looked wrong, what was wrong but looked right, how light and textures were supposed to look, I had no obligation to improve I just wanted to. I had striven to keep going and make small steps in the right direction, taking time to study all my old pieces and figure out WHY they were bad, all the things that were WRONG, how how I could edit or fix the issues to a point where I would deem it acceptable. I never deleted any 'finished' works. I can still access my art from when I was a cringe tween, I can see my mistakes from every year I was active on the internet. I also did my best to not self deprecate, I would objectively critique my abilities and pieces and not take any feedback negatively no matter how harsh or scathing it may be. If someone had a strong enough opinion to voice it then I should have a strong enough backbone to listen and hear them out.

I started taking commissions once I felt comfortable in myself and my abilities. I never turned a commission idea down (Unless it was genuinely unethical) and used every opportunity to give MY BEST to my clients. Even if it was content I did not enjoy or characters with complicated designs or anatomy, I vowed to TRY and give my best and if I didn't know how to do or convey something I studied whatever it was until I felt confident enough in my understanding and embraced the challenges as they came. Study, learn, draw, reflect, redraw, rinse and repeat. Never give up. Try new styles. Try new mediums. Just keep trying! Do and do and do and see and watch and study and keep going.