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lovelessrage · 9 months ago

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Loveless: A Loveless Review

[Plain Text: Loveless: A Loveless Review]

Trigger Warnings For: Discussion of sex, sex negativity, platonormativity, arophobic tropes, and anti-loveless rhetoric

Disclaimer/Disclosure: I couldn’t finish this book. This will factor heavily into the review, as it has to do with how some scenes, details, and the writing quality were just very hard to sit with and continue. I got about 50% through, so I didn’t just skim pages and get back to you on it.

You might guess I don’t think of this book highly if I had to put it down and stop reading. This would be correct. However, I have more in depth thoughts than that. If you like this book and don’t want to read negative things about it, that's fine, but I implore you to read it anyway. A lot of the problems in this book are present in a lot of creations I see and can be a valuable teaching lesson; loveless people aren’t out to ruin your fun because biases got questioned.

Alright. Enough disclaimers. Review under the cut.

The Bingo Card: Surprisingly, Not A Strikeout

People who have been following me for a while may remember I mentioned I went into reading this book with a bingo card in hand: Loveless and Tired Bingo, a sheet made by yours truly. I did not get Bingo with this book! I did, however, fill 17 spaces out of 25; it just didn’t happen to line up, not because the book passed with flying colors. We’ll return to the Bingo Card at the end of this post to see what it looked like. But, letting you know, that’s a rate of 68% of all squares ticked on Loveless and Tired Bingo. Not looking so hot.

Let’s start with the meat of the post so nobody has to read it all if they just wanted my representation opinions. Other things like writing will be shuffled down for your convenience.

Edit: Past Scowl is a liar and a fraud and did not have maims glasses on, and misread the bingo card! I did get Bingo. Oops. Point still stands because the data is the same, I just gave this book a sliver more credit than it deserved for not getting one.

Platonormativity, Envy, and The Loneliness Whirlpool

If this book had a full course meal, normativity would ironically be a key ingredient in every plate on the menu. Loveless has a platonormativity problem that confronts you from page 1, more realistically before that; the blurb!

[Text ID: From the marvelous author of Heartstopper comes an exceptional YA novel about discovering that it's okay if you don't have sexual or romantic feelings for anyone... since there are plenty of other ways to find love and connection. /End ID]

I promise not all my complaints will be raving about one sentence, but this kinda encapsulates the entirety of my problem with Loveless: Georgia Warr is not supported in her own novel. Loveless is a deeply insecure book that many can relate to, but, really… does it alleviate that insecurity, or just cover it up? There’s an unspoken “but” to every part of Loveless’ philosophy about aspec people [especially aroaces], where they must have platonic love to make them whole, to “fix” and “redeem” their lacking attractions. This has always bothered me, and it’s not an uncommon opinion in the community, unfortunately.

Aroaces aren’t allowed to simply “be” – they must be more. They must be so platonically invested you forget they’re aroace, because they have all this other type of love to give the world. It’s reflective of a view on a community sourced from hurt and exclusion, of someone trying to rebuild their worth on a new forefront. It doesn’t make it less of what it is, though: it’s a “yes they’re valid, but” statement that serves as the backbone for far too many aspec-focused media.

Georgia is a deeply unsure character, and there’s nothing wrong with her being this way; she’s a fictional character made to represent a journey of acceptance, not a real person with the ability to inflict harm on other real people. She does reflect the author’s biases in many ways and many points on the same token, though, acting as a mouthpiece. This often comes in Georgia’s insistence her friendships are simply stronger than other relationship types, as well as her reflexive tendencies to judge the friendless.

One of my many, many hurdles in this book had to do with Rooney [someone save her and half the cast from this novel, please], when the group realizes she’s only a socialite, not really a long-term relationship holder, and the entire room devolves into silent judgment. Georgia does not defend her newfound friend, simply noting she thought differently of her. What about Rooney not having many friends changes her outgoing personality? It doesn’t. It’s simply the fact that Rooney being friendless makes her weird, as with many things Rooney is unfairly demonized for in this novel.

The emphasis on friends doesn’t end here, and persists through the entire novel, practically. It is the main focus, when it isn’t talking about Georgia’s disinterests, and her friend circle is very important to her. All of this is fine. What isn’t fine is the expectation and casual enforcement of friendship being all you have, so you must seize it; this book, even though I wouldn’t recommend it, is often given as The Book on being aroace, but I wouldn’t agree [you’re free to tell me I can’t have an opinion on that if I’m not aroace, but at least read on before deciding anything, alright, official hear me out warning]. One, not all aroaces are alloplatonic, and two, this:

Why Is This Book Written Like A Workplace Safety Seminar

It’s a very… cookie-cutter way to be aroace, and cookie cutter aroaces exist in real life! The rep should exist, no doubt, and shouldn’t be taken away from anyone. It’s not my problem per se that the book is semi-stereotypical. What my problem is has to do with something I see a lot.

The book falls into many of the pitfalls of what I’m dubbing “the pamphlet effect”: when a novel, show, etc. continuously needs to halt the plot to remind the audience this character is different, and explains this to you in a way that resembles an educational pamphlet at a pride event. Georgia Warr feels like an example given to explain a concept more than a person, and I feel bad for her because of how little this book engages with her actual character when it shines through. I understand the book is primarily centered on her journey through the spectrum, but very little is given to make Georgia’s experience unique outside of one scene off the top of my head. Her interests, hobbies, and unique feelings only seem to play a role when it comes time to be an author mouthpiece on slutshaming for fun and sport; only one scene, the forced kiss with Jason when rehearsing the play, really blends her life experiences with her aroace experiences.

Georgia feels designed to be an everywoman, and it was very disappointing to say the least. Very little of the book actually feels like I’m with her, or learning about her unique take on being aroace as a theatre fan or young adult figuring things out; it just feels like Georgia [and the reader] are being dragged through the Cliff’s Notes version of what it is to discover being aroace, rather than a look at how a character like this might feel differently than others on a fuller, whole scale. She’s a hole that can fit most shapes into it, which makes her broadly relatable, but not as fun or engaging to read about if you don’t fit precisely in the demographic Georgia is for; even if you do, is there much to engage with beyond “I’m like that too!”?

This isn’t just a Georgia problem, either, as many, many characters in this book are walking stereotypes or very flat. But, we’ll get into that later [if you want to get into it now, skip to Writing Problems, Oh My!].

The Fingering In The Room: Loveless’ Weird Ideas About Sex

Alright, if you’re sex repulsed and braved the storm to get some insight, this next paragraph is just complete confusion about this book’s sex scenes and talking about some of the details within. If you want to skip that, skip the next paragraph.

Why is everybody fingering each other? Fingering is fine and it feels good, but it is basically the only sexual act this book knows outside of making out with tongue. Someone having sex in Loveless? They better have clipped their nails because at least two are going in. It feels like a point of research that was skipped because it was unimportant, which. Pretty much, yes. But when you’re someone who pays very close attention to sex scenes because you’re of the opinion they can have artistic value, as well as conveying the author’s views on sexuality, I come away with “is fingering what Oseman thinks young adults do?”. Anyways. Something I noticed.

[Okay sex repulsed people, you’re good. No in depth descriptions beyond this point, just the word “sex”.]

I should’ve titled this section “In Defense of Rooney Bach” because oh this poor girl. Oh you are just there to be gawked at.

First off, let’s begin in a good place: this book always has to clarify it isn’t slutshaming its characters, followed by slutshaming its characters. Rooney is, for the uninitiated, very sexually active. Georgia’s envy often leads to a judgemental, close minded view of Rooney that often pins her sex life as “too much” – something many sexually active women get villainized for. It strikes me immediately how Rooney is constantly picked on for her sexuality as a woman in ways no male characters who aren’t asexual either are treated. None of the men she flirts with or spends time with are reprimanded or “held to account” by the book; Rooney alone is breaking the rules. Rooney’s descriptions are often bookended with a disclaimer that she isn’t being called a slut, she’s just like one, which… This is slutshaming. You can’t just say you aren’t doing it to not be doing it.

Rooney is also a victim of a very arophobic trope, and one that is also misogynistic: the Broken Woman. Why is Rooney sexually active? A rough breakup that broke her heart and makes her fear intimacy on account of potentially being wrong again. Sure, sex feels good, but explicit focus is made on the fact she is only not engaging with romance because she tried and it didn’t work. For a few chapters, admittedly I was hoping for a book where an aroace and aroallo can get past some differences and expand each other's worldviews; what I got was Georgia thinking pretty poorly of Rooney through unaddressed envy and sex negativity, and Rooney being made to only like hookups because she’s messed up. Because of course a woman could only enjoy that if she had a negative experience that forced her on the path!

Also, another scene I didn’t like was Georgia and Pip watching Rooney have sex while she is completely unaware of their presence? Jason leaves as soon as he notices, but the two of them watch before Pip makes a comment on how disgusting it is and Georgia agrees. I’m shocked at how little this is brought up as being violating or creepy.

If it was a better book, I would have expected it to result in some kind of furthered conversation about boundaries; it could've been a place for Georgia to start establishing what she likes and dislikes, starting with Rooney preferably keeping her out of her sex life when she’s able. Instead, this event gets brought up solely for jokes, and for a motivation for Pip to start hating Rooney, despite her insistence it wasn't because of the hookup and she isn’t slutshaming. Always a great sign when that needs to be clarified. This is a PSA for everyone: you should not need to clarify you aren’t trying to slutshame. If you feel the need to do so, you are probably being sex negative.

This book isn’t very fond of sexually active people, nor is it kind to characters that are. I can understand why being asexual and sex repulsed is representation people would want, but I also think there’s many, many ways to write it without making it an exercise in shame.

Ironically Kinda Arophobic In Some Parts

This is a short section of a thing I noticed, hated, and had as a contributing factor for my ending early: this book loves aphobic tropes. There’s already the trope against aroallos of not needing romance because of being broken into only liking sex, but also the problem with Pip and Rooney.

I’m a lesbian, for clarification, and I’m saying from experience that I hate the archetype of the angry, jealous lesbian. It’s everywhere. It’s in this book. Pip, upon even the idea of being rejected, starts berating and demeaning the girl who turned her down, even if she was only turned down in her head. The book passes it off as a lighthearted, funny story that Pip got so mad at an ex-crush she was suspended for throwing an apple at their head. Why do I bring this up?

Is it not ringing any bells that this is arophobic? That a character so hostile to romantic rejection is treated as a joke? Many, many aros, and queer people in general, have experienced violence for turning down someone. It’s a serious issue for aros and a real fear in rejecting someone. I found it incredibly hard to read and sit through as everybody passes off Pip’s tendencies to do this to the women that reject her as a silly, funny Pip moment and not a major issue for the aspec community. I don’t care if it’s enemies to lovers, because it doesn’t really feel good to read at all. The only tension is built off the back of something I’ve experienced in real life and many others have as well.

Lovelessness: The Insecurity Unaddressed

This book, despite its title, is obviously about a loving character. Many people might not see this as a problem: first off, loveless doesn’t always mean the same thing, and second, many aroaces express feeling loveless when coming to terms with their identity. Here’s my rebuttal.

One: Georgia fits no definitions of the label. She subscribes to none of the beliefs. She loves her friends actively and sees their relationship as more than romance or sex, as something greater to her.

Second, this is because anti-loveless rhetoric is everywhere and all over this book. Not once is it suggested Georgia could live as loveless, or truly be without love. In the end, she is surrounded by it, simply learning to accept friendship instead. The way her insecurity isn’t met with “you’re complete as you are”, and instead with “you can still be complete if you simply fill the void with friends”, is anti-loveless. Nobody is allowed to be whole on their own without a subplot where their doubts are reinforced or they’re explicitly made to be broken inside.

This is shockingly common, and always sad every time I see it. Many aspects fear being loveless, as if it is a curse or blight they must cleanse. This book is one example out of many, but it doesn’t make it less hurtful when a book that runs against everything your community stands for [self-acceptance and the optionality of love] bears your name regardless. It is a book for people who are afraid of loneliness, and it answers their insecurities with “you’re right. You do need other people. You just need to find a way to still find and have a life partner!”. This is damaging to loveless people, especially those questioning an aplatonic identity.

Again, it’s not unique to Loveless. But, it’s reflective of a broader issue of aplatonics who may be seeking community constantly being presented with “you ARE broken, but friendship can fix you!”, a “solution” many can’t use, and often leads to even more self-hatred.

That’s about it from the aspec side of things. If you got this far, congrats! The rest is opinions on the writing, and the bingo card finale. You can drop off here if that’s all you came for.

Writing Problems, Oh My!

This is veering into heavy personal opinion, so, I will remind you: I don’t usually like YA, but YA can be a very good genre! I do not think this book is a good representation of what good YA looks like.

The writing quality is one of the hardest things to get past, because of a major problem I observed: Oseman is better at comics. This isn’t so much a vilification as a recommendation that it would’ve been much better suited for a different type of media. This kind of “media dysphoria” is present in many of the ways the book operates: many scenes would flow perfectly well in a visual piece. Georgia’s inner monologue has a tendency to jump suddenly into scenes and interrupt the action in a way that would be perfectly natural as a narration bubble put over a drawing of the scene around her. There are entire pages of just… text messages that would be much better suited to a visual medium where you could make these dialogue bits look much more interesting through different shots, or drawing what the background would look like on a screen [The Girl from the Sea does this well, for example].

There’s also the fact I cannot place in my mind if I'm too old for this novel. A lot of the jokes boil down to “hah! Sex!” in a way that instantly alienates me from the writing. The jokes can be pretty juvenile and repetitive, and serve to be the equivalent of a comedian saying “eh? Get it? That was a joke.” six times.

This isn’t to mention the fact many of these characters are complete cardboard. Sorry. Jason does not need to exist. When he appears in a scene, he is ignored or completely leaves it on his own. He really only serves to drive Georgia’s character forward, rather than have one of his own. I found myself forgetting he was present in a scene at all until he spoke again and reminded me of his existence. The book would practically be unchanged if Georgia temporarily dated Pip and Jason was never a factor, plus or minus the Shakespeare Soc plot.

Many interesting characters suffer from severe Pamphlet Effect syndrome. Most of the girls do. In a better novel, they would be more in depth, but Loveless doesn’t really afford them this luxury. I need to take the girls very far away from this novel, okay. I need someone to write a version of Loveless where they have personalities. There’s crumbs there. Please, someone make a loaf of bread out of it. They deserve it.

Another thing, but minor: the breakneck pacing at some points followed by slow slogs of not a lot happening contributes to the reading issues. You may thing something would be dwelled on, just for it to go flying away into the sunset as 3 more things happen and then one problem lasts for 2 chapters. I found it very hard to catch up with Loveless, while other parts I felt like I was constantly waiting for it to catch up with me instead.

The Final Frontier: The Bingo Card Returns

And without further ado, the Loveless and Tired Bingo Card for Loveless by Alice Oseman! Completed with help from other readers braver than I.

[Image ID: A bingo card made from a basic template. It has no title, and all the text is black on a white background. Some squares are marked with a blue X, while others are marked with a red scribble. The marked squares are: “Not prioritizing friendship treated as freak behaviour”, “Jab at loveless sex thrown in”, “Something about not being like THOSE people”, “Universal type of love is laid on thick”, “The answer to all your problems is finding some pals”, “Found family ending”, “Platonic-romantic binary”, “Love still treated as universal [free]”, “Friendship is more wholesome or pure”, “Amatonormativity BAD [platonormativity is my bestie]”, “Platonic love being more powerful or sumn”, “You still love your friends though, right?”, “Friendship saves the day”, “Still thinks you need dedicated people to survive”, “Being alone treated as worst thing in the world”, and “Friendships are more stable than partnerships anyways”. The unmarked, blank squares are: “Something about "players" and pickup artists where no commitment is villainized”, “Character fears being loveless and is kinda aplphobic about it”, “Aspec double standards [one is normal, one is weird]”, “You still love your FAMILY, right???”, “QPRs mentioned by no nuance given to their diversity”, “Friendship forced upon a character against their will”, “Comment about some people being inhuman gets brushed past”, and “Simply prioritise your family instead!!” /End ID]

Would I recommend this book? Uh. No! Well. Yes, but not as a good book for aspecs. I’d recommend it solely to read it yourself and form your own opinions. But, no, I would not recommend it to any aspecs I know, especially not loveless ones, aplatonic ones, aroallos, or if they're an aroace looking for support.

Ah, Loveless, how you vexx me. Never again. See you in the next, much shorter post.

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sgiandubh · 1 month ago

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My curious and random thought: Why ask about Shat and why now? It’s ancient fandom history. Is it only because Star Trek has been an iconic IP at the comic cons, or could there be some clean up planned to close out the last 11 years. And if so what other interesting nuggets might be next.

Dear Ancient Fandom History,

What a #silly, #silly way to minimize/discount something so tragically wrong and so embarrassing to many luminaries across the street! What this sad, cheap troll did to many people is borderline mystifying, if you ignore (I said that before, I will probably say it again) that his leverage was based on the fact this was an almost exclusively feminine fandom and an ageing one, at that. It is my understanding, after reading what happened then, that nobody managed or even wanted to properly put him in his place. His empty threats (and, as a legal specialist, I know what I am saying) terrified and even traumatized many, but also served other trolls, who wanted to either portray themselves as victims, or invincible.

People who were embroiled and/or affected by this had no idea things could go that far in a fandom, an environment that seems absolutely benign (and a bit #silly, too, to be honest) to a perfect outsider. That made the shockwave even more violent .***, Shatner and the gossip press are all guilty and/or tainted by this. They tacitly tolerated, even condoned this troll's abuse of an entire fandom. Why? Because it was convenient, at the time and, on the long run, because OL's PR repeatedly proved itself to be tone-deaf and blatantly incompetent when it comes to crisis management.

Sock puppetry is a fraud (see US courts' jurisprudence, such as United States v. Drew, People v. Golb, etc). Doxing people is a crime, still insufficiently sanctioned by the US legislation (the Interstate Communications Statute and the Interstate Stalking Statute), unlike South Korea or (soon to be) Australia, just to take two random examples. The reasons why they still happen probably are public complacency and lack of proper information, spare the sketchy legislation, allowing many loops.

There were consequences to this. People were hurt, dishonored, despised and shunned. And for what? A not so uncommon love story? This is so wrong, in so many ways, I could be only glad, Anon that some light has been finally shed on this heavy, toxic garbage. Kudos to S for being brave enough to open up Pandora's box. I have to say I was surprised: makes his honesty even more valued.

Why now? Because we are slowly reaching the end, when nothing else matters, as Metallica once famously sang (still one of my favorite ballads, mind you). Will there be more interesting nuggets? Logically yes, but at this point in time, my guess is as good as anyone else's.

Not even sorry for this very long answer. I tend to get very invested in this, reminds me of a former professional life of mine. Happy days.

youtube

[Later edit]: forgot to answer your first question. If you think these discussion topics are not discussed before recording and vetted, you are naive, Anon. Very interesting, huh? There was nothing organic in that episode. Nothing.

#anon #fandom #shitshow #trolling #Internet abuse #legal #Happy Sad Confused 10th Anniversary Live

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hsr-texts · 1 year ago

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find your cinderella

꒰‧₊˚✩彡‧꒱ ┊ ━━━━ prologue

꒰⸝⸝₊ʚ♡ɞ ┊ streamer!reader x mystery hsr character ꒱

꒰⸝⸝₊ʚ♡ɞ ┊ otome event ꒱

꒰ ☰ WORD COUNT ┊1.4k ꒱

꒰ ☰ DESCRIPTION ┊ ━━ When you do an unboxing livestream for your subsribers, you find an invite to an exclusive event called the "Find Your Cinderella" masquerade gala where you are guaranteed to find your supposed true love, as a rather enthusiastic manager told you. ꒱

꒰ ☰ NOTES ┊HIII omg you guys THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE SUPPORT!! Getting 1k followers is so crazy for me because I've never had a blog be received with this much love and support before so I've decided to make an extra special otome game style fanfic! ꒱

“Guys, look! The package just came in!”

You rushed into your studio, holding a sizable metal box. Inscribed on the sides was a logo of two masks, resembling a certain Aeon. Placing it down on the floor, you gave a sigh of relief. “Aeons, that was heavy!”

Your eyes glanced at the live chat and saw all the messages, curious about the package.

“Seems like you guys are more excited than I am,” You couldn’t help a small chuckle leaving your lips. “It took me quite a lot to get a hold of this limited edition package from LumiPro. Like, do you guys know how much it cost?”

A few comments popped up trying to guess the price.

You shook your head. “100,000 credits.”

The chat then flooded with shocked emotes and comments. It was more than a fair reaction. You found yourself silently thanking the stars that your current occupation as a streamer granted you a steady income. Otherwise, you probably would’ve had to eat the same type of cup noodles for months.

“Anyway!” You clasped your hands together. “Let’s open it up already! I’m dying to see what’s inside. What could possibly warrant such a steep price?”

Your index finger pressed on the button at the top and heard a voice.

“Vocal identification. Please state your name.”

You uttered your name. It was a good thing you added an auto-censor to your setup so that any sensitive information that could get you doxxed would be redacted in the stream. You didn’t want stalkers showing up at your home after all.

“Permission granted.”

Faint clicks of metal against metal could be heard as the mechanisms worked to unlock the box. A hissing noise came from it as the lid opened. You watched, feeling anticipation and eagerness bubble within your chest.

A hologram was projected from the box, showing a person wearing professional attire. They smiled.

“Thank you for purchasing from Luminous Productions. We’ve curated a package that we believe would be of most use to you. For further questions, you may contact support on our site. We hope you enjoy it to the fullest.”

You took a peek and gasped at the sight. “Guys, oh my god, they just gave me a new PC!”

They must’ve done their research because you did mention in your stream a month ago that you were looking for a better PC.

The chat seemed to be as excited as you were, knowing this meant you’d be able to go back to your regular streaming schedule.

You could tell this was a real high end PC after seeing the graphics card and CPU model. Not only that, but it came with a new headset, keyboard, and mouse. You took out the stuff and gently placed them on the floor, letting the viewers see it.

After noticing that there was more in the package, you rummaged around for the other objects. Your hand made contact with some sort of fabric so you pulled it out.

Your eyes widened as you realised that it was a fancy outfit. Upon looking, you could estimate that it was your size too. Was this tailor made?

“Holy shit…”

It seemed like it was for a real special occasion, not even just your run-of-the-mill party that regular people go to. This outfit would probably fit right in with a red carpet event for rich folks or celebrities. Well— One may say, “Hey, aren’t you a celebrity too?” but you weren’t cocky enough to claim the same status as those with inter-galactic levels of fame.

A slip of paper fell out of the outfit’s pocket and you turned to see what it was.

You squinted in confusion. A ticket…? After picking up, you couldn’t help but notice the holographic shine to it first. How pretty.

“Find Your Cinderella Masquerade Event?” You mumbled in confusion. Who was Sugo? You couldn’t recall knowing anyone that went by that name.

Suddenly, the screen flickered for a moment and a new window popped up next to your stream.

A person showed up, wearing what you could only describe as a pink clown outfit that somehow combines cuteness and gaudiness in one. They grinned at you with amusement.

“Heya to all those viewers watching at home!” Even the way they spoke seemed to have a theatrical ring to it. By the way the chat was going insane, the people watching the stream could also see them.

“My name is Sugo and I’m the event organiser of the Find Your Cinderella Gala, or the FYC Gala for short,” they introduced themselves with a flourish. “Pleasure to meet you.”

“Uh… hi?” You didn’t know how to respond. This was quite a bizarre experience to have someone hijack your stream to introduce themselves. Was this legal…?

They chuckled. “Yeah, sorry for the sudden appearance but I figured that it would shake things up a little. I’m sure your dear fans appreciate having two exciting things happening at the same time. You can bet that this’ll go viral too~”

“Right… So what exactly is this Find Your Cinderella Gala?”

“Glad you asked, dear anomaly!” They beamed. Eh? Why were they calling you anomaly?

“See, I’m doing a collaborative project with LumiPro. I proposed to them a large-scale event with celebrities from all over the galaxy, which would be broadcast to every streaming platform out there. The premise is simple, all attendees are there to find their one and only, their true love, their Cinderella, you get the idea.”

“So it’s a speed dating event for rich people?” Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. It sounded like a stupid idea. And yet, a part of you was intrigued.

“Right on the money! What a clever streamer, it’s no wonder you got such high compatibility ratings with the other attendees~”

“A what?”

Their eyes gleamed with amusement. “So, we didn’t just pick the celebrities at random. I bet you’re wondering why a small time streamer is getting an invite to such an exclusive event, right?” They tilted their head, leaning on their desk.

You nodded slowly. It was still a mystery to you why you’d be invited when there are far more famous people in the galaxy.

“Behind the scenes, we’ve been developing an advanced algorithm that can find your best match in a group. How it works is that we pick a participant, feed it available information on said participant, then it calculates how well the person would get along with those within the group,” they explained, “What’s interesting for your case is that your average compatibility score with the group is 90%. Most folks that got tested only came up with a 60% average compatibility rating.”

You raised an eyebrow at this in skepticism. “Don’t you think that’s just a bug or something?”

They shrugged. “It could be, but we’ve done several tests and it always came out the same. We were hoping to add you in to act as an outlier to our pool of data.”

“So I’m just a guinea pig for your weird little experiment?” You gave them an unamused look.

“It’s just to see if your results were really true or if it was just a mistake on the algorithm’s part.” They shrugged. “I’m sure it’ll be a fun time for you regardless of my motives. A win win for all parties involved, don’t you just love that kind of thing?”

“I guess but doesn’t this come with strings attached?”

Sugo whined. “Ughhh, you’re gonna make this way less fun if you go in already knowing what you’re getting!”

“What kind of sane person would do something without knowing the full details?!”

A groan came from them. “Booo, that’s so boring! Life needs a special surprise factor that keeps things fun and interesting.”

They sighed after. “But fine. If you’re so skeptical, then I can throw in a 500,000 credit compensation if you end up not enjoying it. So even if you do lose, you still gain something!”

You stayed silent, trying to figure out if this was really worth the trouble of dressing up and going to a party.

“Anyway, that’s all the information I’m contractually allowed to give out. It’s your choice whether you want to go or not.”

“Can I have some time to decide this?” You asked them.

Sugo nodded, smiling in amusement. “Of course! It’s not good for a show to spend too much time on exposition, after all. Let’s give the player some time to shine, hm?”

“I have no idea what you’re saying.”

They giggled, ignoring what you said. “Bye bye! I’ll see you at the gala!”

Their window disappeared, leaving you with your viewers again.

You sighed. What a strange person. Did you really wanna go? It’s not like you had much to lose. Plus, you would be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t want to find out what that compatibility rating was all about.

“What do you think, chat? Should I go?” You turned to the screen, waiting for their input.

#honkai star rail #hsr #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #jing yuan x reader #dan heng x reader #gepard x reader #sampo x reader #blade x reader #welt x reader

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unboundprompts · 10 months ago

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hi! do you have any prompts on a character feeling betrayed by someone they thought they could rely on? and what’s worse is that they only found out about it through the person they despise

Prompts for Hero being Told by Villain that they've been Betrayed by their Friend

-> feel free to edit and adjust pronouns as you see fit.

"Poor, poor Hero," the villain sneered, walking circles around them with their hands folded behind their back. "How does it feel to know you've been housing a traitor?"

The hero's brows furrowed, their heart hammering in their chest. "A traitor?" Hero echoed. "What traitor?"

Villain stopped pacing, gaze snapping over to Hero with a newfound light. "They haven't told you."

It was not a question, a theory, nor a guess. It was a fact. A fact that Hero did not know. Not knowing what Villain meant made their stomach churn with uncertainty.

"You might want to have a conversation with [Name]" Villain told them simply, smile curling their lips upwards so Hero could see their teeth. "Ask them what they've been up to the past few weeks."

-----------

Hero felt like they couldn't breathe. Their skin was hot, their clothes too tight. It felt like the room was closing in around them.

Their closest friend put a gentle hand on their shoulder and they whispered soft reassurances to them, trying to get them to control their breaths and fill their lungs with air. One look at them was enough to replace the fear and uncertainty with a slow-burning rage. Hero pulled away from them, staring daggers that were they real, they would be pricked with the intent to kill.

"You betrayed me," Hero spat. "How could you?!"

-----------

Hero wanted to cry. They wanted to lay down on the floor in a pitiful heap and sob until they couldn't force out anymore tears. They felt utterly broken.

But Hero couldn't cry. Not now. Not after Villain had just told them that their closest companion had been lying to their face for weeks now. Hero had to stay calm. Had to confront their friend about all the abominable things they had done. Had to tell them that they never want to see them again. Only until [Name] felt the same despair that Hero does, would Hero allow themselves to mourn the loss of their friend.

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#writing prompts #dialogue prompt #creative writing #writeblr #otp prompts #prompt list #story prompt #hero and villain prompts #argument prompts #angst prompts #ask box prompts

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simpjaes · 11 months ago

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just logged on during my study break to see you want jake hard thoughts. i sent an ask like two days ago but i guess it never went through or you haven’t seen it yet. it was about a jayke love triangle (not the one you’re writing just a hypothetical).

but jake has been so fine lately it makes me want to die. like i just know he sees all the ppl on twitter thirsting and edits going viral tiktok and that it BOOSTS his ego. he’s been acting crazy these days, like the flirting and telling engenes he only says absurd stuff to see other engenes jealous. that is a WHORE, your honor.

anyways i can see a fwb!jake type of scenario where he’s always fucking around with other girls because you guys aren’t exclusive. when you decide you wanna play that game and fuck his best buddy jay he’s fuming. he’s jealous as fuck.

so what i’m saying is… jealous sex with jake where he creampies you and reveals his breeding kink. and lots of cumplay because imo…all of hyung lines loved cumplay.

- 💗

i don't remember getting a jayke love triangle ask that I haven't already answered, so it may not have gone through. I definitely would have answered it by now if it was in my inbox bc i am currently feral for them.

Saying that Jake is the type to fuck other girls openly bc the two of you aren't exclusive is one thing, mostly because he wants to see your reaction of wanting him, but having Jake get fuckin' PISSED that you're fucking his best friend? even though he fucked like five of your friends?

even better. I love a toxic man in fiction.

the sex tho, man. i feel like he's the type to make it real dirty, and be real mean about it til he notices that you were just trying to make him jealous and that it worked. and that somehow pisses him off more.

one, that he fell for it, and two, that you did it in retaliation over your own jealousy. and then he'd be like "what? so you want to keep me?" and "you wanna trap me, baby?" then proceed to start pumping his cum into you <3 only to pull out half way, and jerk the rest of it off still into you, before pushing in deep one last time with a lil chuckle of "i'm keeping you then too."

cue jay in his room super confused as to why his own best friend won't talk to him anymore and you never callhim back

sdkfjhsdkjfsd

#ask #💗 anon #jake smut #jay smut #enhypen smut #hardthots

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gymleaderdakota · 1 year ago

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Northwest and Pines

Fandom: Gravity Falls

Quick A/n: So There is no such thing as Dipper Northwest this is just an idea I had one day. Also if you are trying to gate keep as a fan, I started watching when I was 9 when it first came out and when it ended when I was 13, it also my favorite show to this day so don’t come at me. Either way I hope you enjoy this fic! Edit: I also bought the exclusive Barnes & Nobels Book of Bill with the poster. So yeah.

Pair: Dipper Northwest x Gender neutral reader

Tw: Dipper's real name, not edited, and yelling.

Key: (Y/n)-Your name

(Y/n)'s POV

"I guess I'm kinda difficult." Dipper spoke as I smiled. "You could say that." I told him with a small giggle. "Maybe I could make it up to you Pines." He spoke as I looked away and laughed ruffling my hair. "How so Northwest?" I asked as he smiled softly. "Let me take you on a date." He spoke. "Is Dipper Northwest asking me on a date?" I asked with a smirk. "I told you not to call me that! My name is Mason!" He exclaimed angrily as I chuckled at his flushed state.

"Either way isn't scandalous to ask out a commoner as a rich man yourself?" I asked and he looked away. "Money makes problems go away." He said as I smiled. "Holy shit you like me?" I asked as he let out a groan. "No I do not." He told me. "Well, I tolerate you. I'll go on this date under one condition." I told him with a smirk. "What $1000 bucks, a pony, a rare fish, fancy chopsticks, a quail-" "No wait what are fancy chopsticks?" I asked.

"Doesn't matter what do you want Pines?" He asked as I smiled. "You have to kiss me on said date, deal?" I asked and he sighed. "Well, why didn't you just say that at the beginning?" He asked and I blushed. "What do you-" He interrupted me by kissing me. Mason Northwest just kissed me. I blushed and he smiled when we pulled away. "I think I'll risk the scandal of kissing a commoner." He whispered in my ear and I hugged him. "Okay." I spoke. "Maybe I do more than tolerate you." I told him still red. "I like you (Y/n) Pines." He whispered and hugged me back.

"SEE YOU DO LIKE A COMMONER!" I yelled. "(Y/n) who's at the door?" My sister Pacifica asked. "Oh no one!" I yelled back. Dipper looked amused. "So I'm no one now?" He asked and I growled. "You are the one who left his comfy mansion to talk to me." I told him and he shooed away flys coming too close to him. "I know don't remind me." He spoke. "Oh please you just like me too much." I said. He grabbed my hands and brought out chests touching. "So what if I do?" He asked. "Mason Northwest." I spoke and he smiled. "(Y/n) Pines." He spoke. "Pick me up at 7:30, be on time." I told him and I shut the door and saw my twin sister Pacifica. "Did you just get a date with Mason Pines?" She asked and I smiled nervously. "Maybe."

A/n: So my bf did break up with me and now I am tired and I had this in my drafts I hope you enjoyed it as much as enjoyed finishing it. I will update next month as well, but as always if you have any requests at all please request! It would mean a lot. Comment if you do have requests or send an ask! I love you all!

#dipper pines x reader #dipper pines #gravity falls dipper #gravity falls #gravity falls x reader #Dipper northwest #Dipper Northwest x reader #gravity falls au #Dipper x gn reader #x reader #x gn reader #x gender neutral reader #Northwest au

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celerydays · 1 year ago

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could you walk us through what notebooks & journals & pens /etc you use - they look so good!

I would be SO happy to, you have no idea!!

Alright, let's fucking GOOOO~

Starting off with my current "workhorse" pens - I have like *checks notes* 36 fountain pens and a bit too many inked up atm, but these are just the ones I'm currently reaching for or have inked up more often than not:

TWSBI Go (F): Kinda ugly! But also kinda cute! It's cheap and works great (I friggin love TWSBI pens tbh) and it has a little hole on the cap where you can attach a lanyard or charms, like I did! Makes it cuter imo and it's kind of my emotional support pen these days.

Opus88 Pocket (EF): This 2022 edition has a little Moon tarot design on the cap so it's pretty much the pen I use exclusively for my witchy/tarot practice journals! A lil bummed the cap doesn't post, especially since its a shorter pocket-sized pen, but not a deal breaker and I still love it.

Pilot Custom 823 (F): My grail pen that I've literally coveted for years and just recently acquired at the DC Pen Show this weekend! It's only been a day but I think it could potentially become my favorite pen. Ever.

Pilot Prera (CM): This is my third Prera lol. I just think they're great and really underrated pens! Also a recent acquisition from the DC Pen Show and this cursive M nib is suuuuper fun to write with.

Pilot Vanishing Point (EF): My favorite pen for planning! Super fine-tipped for writing task lists and schedules and love that it's so convenient/quick-draw with the click mechanism.

(I'm totally a Pilot pen ho, can you tell? asdjflaglsg)

Journals/Planners/Notebooks under cut–

Sterling Ink B6 Common Planner: For a good chunk of this year, I was in this planner because I honestly love the size and all the layouts. Super practical and flexible as a system. 10/10 would go back. I've used it to plan, as a reading journal, as a tarot log...

But I get the itch to move around so it's been sitting a little unused since like June, oop.

Leuchtturm A6: I started craving something tiny and minimal so I've been bullet journaling in this pocket notebook for the last month or two and I'm really enjoying it!

Standard-sized Tomoe River Paper notebook: This is pretty consistent in that I don't change up the system itself, but I'm in and out of it for memory keeping/scrapbook journaling! It's almost always a Tomoe River paper notebook of SOME kind that I usually buy in A5 size to go to FedEx and get it cut down to standard. Though I'm thinking of getting a blank Midori MD A5 to have cut down next time - I've been liking the freedom of blank pages for journaling instead of anything lined or gridded.

I really need to catch up with it tbh, but I love sitting in an explosion of printed photos, stickers, and washi and going ham with the pages.

(I do have a flip through of my January-March 2022 pages on YouTube)

Midori MD Cotton B6 Slim: I also have this sketchbook that sorta turned into a visual sketch diary of sorts. I fell off a while ago but want to get back into it because it's super fun to work in and to look back on!

Wide-sized Cosmo Air Light notebook & A5 Filofax Malden: These are my tarot/witchy journals. Grimoires I guess? One is for journaling and all my messier notes while the other is more for reference and ease of organization.

A5 Leuchtturm: I didn't know if I should include this guy, but I've been writing it in a lot recently so I guess I will lol. This is like truuuly a miscellaneous™ notebook.

I got this A5 notebook back in 2017 to use as my very first bullet journal, then found out that this size is personally waaaay too big for me to use as a bullet journal so I hopped off of it pretty quick. It now sits on my desk because since it's mostly blank I'll just pick it up to use it to write literally A N Y T H I N G.

Most recently, I wrote like 5 pages in one night on notes for a fanfiction piece I was working on (I'm not a writer, this fic is never gonna see the light of day by anyone but me lololol. Hyperfixation is so wild; I've put 80k+ words within just 10 days into it so far and it's been hella therapeutic.)

That's all, I think!?

It's funny because I actually have a NEW notebook arriving tomorrow that I'm going to try out as a bujo/commonplace/omni journal of sorts?? I might write an update post after I've set that up and see how I like it <3

#journal #journaling #bullet journal #memory keeping #notebooks #fountain pen #grimoire #sketchbook #commonplace book #tarot journal #cel journals #anon #ask #celerydays

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tyttetardis · 10 months ago

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Donmar Welcome Event 16th Jan 2024

Also went to a member's welcome event that the Donmar had, which was basically an hour where they served something to drink and told us a bit more about the theatre and the upcoming shows.

The invitation did say they'd have an exclusive tour of the place - on and off the stage - which I'd been quite excited about - but that didn't actually happen :(

Still, it was rather interesting! Learned a few things about Macbeth as well :)

Apparently, the stage stains very easily - which is why I'm baffled at how easy it apparently is to clean, but guess they must have some really lovely red dye that isn't as stainful as pretty much anything else that's dyed red. It also scratches easily - the movement on the stage can easily create little creases where the blood can get stuck.

I'd only seen the bloodbath on the floor once, so hadn't noticed, but was told that it comes up through the floor - probably why it differs so wildly each night how and where David is covered in it!

(As an aside to that - on the first night there wasn't a bloodbath - he was struck with the knife and there was a bit of blood on his shirt instead - now there's no blood at the wound)

Someone asked them about filming productions (not specifically about Macbeth - and they didn't say anything about it) and they told us about the process of deciding whether to record a production or not as it's a very costly affair to do so - which is why it's not something they just automatically do for everything.

They said that either the NT will ask them if they record a show - which means they do everything, and therefore is obviously the much cheaper option for themselves. The NT will let them know what benefits there might be in it for them - but as far as I understood they won't really earn much if anything from it.

So, the second option is for themselves to invest in filming a production by bringing in a third-party filming company that they pay for themselves. It's obviously a much more expensive way of doing it - but they'd also get more money back from it if it sells well in cinemas or online. Obviously, they have gone with the second option - so hopefully that's because they think it has really good marketing potential!

They mentioned that they are always very aware of the fact that not as many people get to see their performances as would probably like to see them - so it's always part of their considerations whether to film it or not when they create a new production.

One of them joked that they could probably keep up a production like Macbeth for three years and still sell-out - but that the theatre is known for putting on about 6 productions each year, so there's a limit to how long their runs can be - plus there's also the availability of actors to consider.

Someone asked if actors (I assume meaning, big name actors) takes a pay-cut to work with them - and yes, they do. Everyone is paid the theatre-standard no matter who they are. The only extra benefit they might offer big names is a taxi to get to the theatre and to escape back home afterwards.

Ah, yeah, think that was about it - everything else was more or less just about the upcoming productions, memberships, and other general things :)

Edit: Oh, forgot to mention that their focus will always be on the production as it's on, then on any potential transfers and then on releasing it for cinema/online - so if they filmed something it wouldn't be released until the live show is done - and sounded like they wouldn't necessarily say anything about it having been recorded (or not) until then as well. So don't think we will hear anything about the plan for it until the show is over.

#Macbeth #Donmar Warehouse #David Tennant #Cush Jumbo #This is just from memory - so yeah free paraphrasing.#Actually the part about the blood I was just lucky to hear 😅#as Silvia was talking to the two ladies standing next to me while I was nodding along and smiling 🙈#but not feeling competent enough to actually join in on the conversation 😬#She also mentioned how desperate understudies were for a chance to perform - which is of course very understandable!#but I was just thinking that if I were an understudy #I'm not sure I'd want to go on stage in DT's place 🙈#especially not for a short super popular run like this 🫣

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ohmystaxk · 1 year ago

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Goodbye, My Dear Stranger (6)*

[PREVIOUS] | [NEXT]

Pairing(s): (Jake Lockley x Reader, Steven Grant x Reader) (Marc Spector x Reader later on) [Pre-Moon Knight show]

Chapter Character(s): Steven Grant, Jake Lockley

Content/Tags: SMUT +18, morally grey main character, one sided non-exclusive relationship, Steven just being the nicest man in the world and the horniest, Consensual Voyeurism (wink wink), fingering, oral (f!receiving), dry-humping, cum eating, PinV, praise kink, dirty talk, jealous talk, too many pet names, hair pulling, biting, Jake being a munch BELIEVERS RISE.

Word Count: 6.8k

Summary: Wanting to take things slow with Steven, you find your mind going back to Jake, good thing is all in your head, right?

Guess who is back from the dead? YEAH, me bitches! I am so sorry for disappearing for so long, writers block is a bitch, but I needed to deliver this as soon as I could. So, ofc, this has not been edited so I apologize for any errors u might find, ENJOY AND HAPPY HALLOWEEN WEEK!

Your skin feels hot, a thin layer of sweat forms as your head falls back, eyes rolled back as your mouth hangs open. You let out a breathy gasp, your stomach tightening as you feel your heartbeat faster. It’s exhilarating, the warmth of his breath against your pelvis as his mouth is enclosed around your clit, tongue licking slowly, taking his time as he did so. His grip on your thighs is strong, bruising them as your back arches, air leaving your lungs as you start to feel the rise of your orgasm.

You looked back down with heavy eyes as you locked them with him. A dark gaze looks at you from between your legs, his curls soft when your hand runs through them, moving his hair away. The action makes him bite your inner thigh, a yelp falls from your lips, he smirks as he kisses the teeth marks.

You just had to answer the phone, didn’t you?

Turns out the café would be back in business two days after your last encounter with Jake. You had gotten the morning shift that week, working through your day with a smile for the customers, preparing and serving them. The ride back was long, or at least that’s how it felt. Lids heavy as you unlock the entrance to the complex, the lift opening to reveal one of your neighbors walking off. All you could think of while at work was to get back to your flat, lay down on your comfy bed and fall asleep for a little. That would’ve been ideal, but as soon as you walked through the door your phone rang.

It was Steven. His voice chimed from the other side, surely with a smile on his face. You closed the door behind you.

‘Hi, love, you on your way home?’ Steven asked, you nodded to yourself.

‘Already am. Just got here actually.’ You sighed as you walked past the living room window, dropping your bag on the couch.

‘Oh really? Yep, just saw you walk by.’ He let out a small laugh, you turn to see him getting closer to his window.

You send him a quick wave before heading to the fridge.

‘Worked early today?’ You ask him, inside the fridge was your beloved wine bottle, you took it and closed the door with your hip.

‘Yeah, actually made it in time, can you believe that?’ You laugh, shaking your head.

‘Hardly.’ You tease, ‘What did Donna say?’

You poured yourself a glass, taking a quick sip from the bottle before placing it down.

‘Well, the only reason I made it in time was because I woke up thinking I was already late. So Donna was very surprised when she saw me walk in thirty minutes early. She even looked worried, I had no clue she could even show any other emotion.’

‘Geez, thirty!? No wonder she did, I would be too, thinking something must have happened.’

Steven laughs on the other end, then he goes quiet for a second. You wait, hoping for him to speak but, there is something about the silence that makes you worry.

‘You still there?’ You ask softly, not wanting to startle him if anything.

A small mhm comes from the other line, you tilt your head to the side, he sounds unsure.

‘Can you go towards the window?’ Steven asked.

‘Sure, just give me a sec.’ You left your glass on the table and walked towards your living room, the curtain was halfway open, allowing some sunlight to peek through.

You pushed the fabric to the side; it was then you smiled. Across from you was Steven, a smile on his lips as he waved at you once more from his window.

‘Wanted to stop by and say hi at the shop, but you know, Donna.’ He scoffed, his voice sounded slower, with weight to it.

Even from a distance the dark circles around his eyes were darker. ‘You look tired Steven. Have you rested?’

‘I have just not been sleeping too well in the last two days, that’s all.’ You frowned but decided not to push it.

‘Try and rest for a little, it helps me whenever I feel stressed.’ Steven shook his head.

‘Can I tell you something?’ He asks, you nod.

‘Of course.’

‘I know I told you about my punctuality issues, but there’s sort of a reason why.’ Steven sighs, you start to worry. ‘I have these terrible nightmares; they feel almost too real. Sometimes I wake up in pain, perhaps I toss around too much. So, I sort of, try not to go to sleep.’

You feel your chest heavier with his words, the implication that Steven purposely avoided sleeping given his nightmares and the physical strain it put on his body was evident.

‘Have you tried talking with a specialist? Not sleeping for long periods of time can affect you, Steven.’ You see him shake his head.

‘Haven’t. I should though, really should.’

‘If it helps, I can research with you, find a good one that can help you.’ You reassure him, trying to let him know you want to help.

‘You don’t have to do that.’ He looks up, meeting your gaze with sad eyes.

‘I want to, Steven.’

‘I’m sorry for calling, I wanted to hear your voice. Is silly, I know.’ You looked down, a soft smile appeared on your lips.

‘Is not silly, Steven. It’s nice to hear that actually.’ You confessed and looked up.

It was hard to fully make out Steven’s eyes, but you saw him sigh, tilting his head to the side to once again look up at you.

‘It is rather nice, I think, talking to each other like this. Wouldn't you think?’

‘Yeah, but if I’m honest, it also makes me think of a prison visit.’ Your words cause Steven to laugh wholeheartedly.

‘That is also a perspective. But I do have a nice view and can see the whole world. I don't think an inmate can say the same, can they?’

‘Not much of a view Steven, my flat blocks any view.’ You saw him shaking his head.

‘Still a good view, I can see you.’ Steven then seems to turn around for a brief second before he turns to look back at you. ‘I really wonder, what made you like doing this?’

‘Like what?’ You asked and Steven gestures to you and him, then at his surroundings.

‘Watching. What caught your attention?’

It was your turn to sigh. You had not expected Steven to forget about the subject, but you didn’t have an answer in mind, a well thought out explanation in your logic and in your possible irrationality.

‘I can tell you; I could probably lie as well.’ You looked at him with a small smile before you looked down, your fingers reaching for the window, your nails drawing shapes on it. ‘It’s stupid, Steven.’

‘You can tell me.’ He responded immediately; his voice was soft, warm.

‘I’ve lived here for almost a year now. The Green Wall is the only place I feel safe, is what I know, is where my only friends are. I followed the same routine for the past year, over and over again.’ You said, you couldn’t hear Steven on the phone, and neither could you see him as you continued staring down.

‘Then one night there was this light across my window starting to turn on during midnight. I saw a shadow pace about, then it would stay still for hours as it sat down to read, it was like watching a ghost, except, it made me feel accompanied. So, I no longer saw the ghost as a lonely soul, but as something I could share my late nights with even if the ghost was not aware.’

Ten seconds passed in silence after you spoke, you feared looking up, not knowing if Steven was even standing there anymore.

‘You thought of me as a ghost?’ Steven asked with genuine curiosity. You laugh.

‘That’s your big takeaway?’ You looked up, finding him leaning his forehead on the window, with his eyes closed and a smile on his lips.

‘One of them. When I saw you at the gift shop, it wasn’t the first time. I knew you looked familiar when you approached to talk to me, but it wasn’t until the next day that it dawned on me. I had seen you all the time on the bus, glance your way more than once, my eyes always following the same path towards you. I’ve always thought you were beautiful.’

You felt breathless, his words careful and sincere. Then he looks at you, his hand on the window, you feel your chest heavy.

‘I wish I knew what you saw.’ He says with a quick laugh, and you feel your cheeks warm.

‘You could.’ You say immediately as you see him tilt his head.

‘Watch you? I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable.’ He sounds worried.

‘You won’t, I will admit that it makes me curious to know what it is like to be on the other end. If you don’t feel uncomfortable then it’s okay. You asked what got me to do it in the first place, I guess it’s easier to find out for yourself.’

‘That sounds easier than it probably is.’ He nervously laughs, and you shake your head.

This man was surprising you, the way he doesn’t even bat an eye does make you wonder what he might truly hide behind those doe eyes of his.

The door shut slowly behind Steven; his body heavy as he moved through the clutter of his flat. He flipped the kitchen switch; light quickly illuminated his space and sighed. He had forgotten to clean the dishes before he left, having already been too late to even do so. He could clean them in the morning, he thought. Right now, what he needed was to lay down, just for a minute or two. Water droplet created a path as the man walked around, tossing his jacket on a chair without care. He dropped his bag on the table, bringing his right hand to his face and dragging it down as he rolled his eyes.

Rain had caught up to him on his way to the bus stop, leaving him all drenched on his way home. It was so late already, the cold of the night sure to do its job if he didn’t shower before bed.

His hair was wet, sticking to his forehead as he removed his shirt. His left hand quickly ran through his hair and scratched the back of his neck. Then he let his hands drop without care, hitting his thighs from weight with a thud.

It had been a long day, Donna had forced him to work an extra shift given the fact he had shown up late once again. Of course his once in a lifetime trick of showing up early didn’t work this time. His sleep schedule had already been a mess, but he had surprisingly woken up only to find himself having the biggest headache of his life, the pain not even allowing him to focus through the day.

He knew his body craved his bed and a soft pillow under his head, but he knew better. Even the thought of falling asleep made his body go rigid, his muscles ached.

Steven made his way towards his couch, dropping himself on the cushions, he took off his shoes and socks. The hardwood floor was cold on his skin, making him shiver. He was about to rest on the couch when in the corner of his eye a light flicker. He looked towards it and realized it was coming from your flat.

He stood there, your blinds were drawn, so it allowed him to see inside your flat, so he stood in the middle of his flat watching as you walked by. His heart jumped, a quick rising as he then saw you return back into view, your back facing him as you seem to head to your kitchen.

It was then he remembered your voice from two days ago, ‘I guess it’s easier to find out for yourself.’

Steven barely realized what he was doing when he had already made his way back to the kitchen and killed the light. The flat was dark now, the only light coming from the window thanks to the moonlight. He slowly walked closer to this one, creeping in the dark of his own home, slow quiet steps as if you were to hear them.

When he was closed enough, he saw you as you drank a glass of what looked to be wine, a very full glass. He frowned, he caught his hand trying to reach for his phone, but quickly stopped. Of course he could call you, ask how you were doing, hear your voice, but he wanted to see if he could know what was wrong just by his own means.

You had told him you had watched him during his many sleepless nights, having accompanied him even during his worst nights unbeknownst to you. You had found comfort through that, maybe he could do the same. Perhaps he would understand you, he wanted to understand, seek for that same comfort you found in him.

But as he continued to watch, he felt his heart pumping loudly. You had disappeared for a minute before you returned, seemingly in different clothes, you were wearing a tank top with what he could make out to be shorts. Steven gulped as he watched you take one more sip of the wine, making your way towards your window.

He felt his heart race, have you noticed him standing there? No, there was no way, it was too dark. Oh no, your flat was higher than his, you could see far more into his flat then he could yours. He had already failed at his poor attempt.

But you sat down by the window, grabbing a book and opening it. Steven was stunned, had you not caught him?

Steven watched you, leaning himself against one of the supports that were around his flat. He crossed his arms as he rubbed his chin, his eyes taking in his view. You sat with both your legs on the loveseat, one leg closer to your chest. Your eyes running through the words in the book, one hand still holding the glass as you tilted your head to the side.

You seemed relaxed, he noticed. He subconsciously smiled at this, his heart calming down at the sight of you enjoying yourself. Then, he found his eyes traveling from your face, back to that glass, to your hand holding the book. They looked soft, they were, he remembered.

He gulped again, his heartbeat deciding to pick up again, your legs looked so soft. He could almost feel his fingers squeezing them. Steven then remembers your voice as he pushed his fingers inside you, how sweet it sounded, how breathless you were as you clung to him. How soft and perfect your breast felt on his hands, how fucking much he wanted to touch them again. How pretty you looked as you brushed his hair, how tender you were as you kissed him.

Before he realized, he was already hard. He tried to push the thoughts away, he blames his headache for even thinking of you while in such an inappropriate time. You take another sip of the wine and immediately remembers your lips around his cock.

“Bloody hell.” He lets out, closing his eyes, his head falling back against the wood. “The hell is wrong with you?”

His thoughts betray him once more as he sees you stare up at him through your lashes and he groans. Hitting his head against the wood purposely this time. Steven shakes his head, he didn’t understand why his mind decided to show you in such a way. Of course there was nothing wrong with you, he simply didn’t know why it had decided to show him that part of you.

This was supposed to be him trying to understand you, not him getting hot and heavy at the sight of you just doing something so mundane.

He would need to relieve himself tonight, of course, in the privacy of his shower.

Ring.

His eyes opened wide.

Steven fished around his pockets until he found his phone, the screen lit up, your name was displayed.

‘Incoming Call: Dove 🕊️’

Steven stares at the screen, then looks back towards the windows, there you were with your phone by your ear, waiting for Steven to answer you. He looked back again at his phone, his finger just hoovering the answer icon. You were reaching out to him, wanting something, yet, Steven just had to let his mind wander too far from sanity, his thoughts flashing more of those images of you on your bed. He couldn’t do it, talk to you and pretend everything was alright.

“Just got to wait it out, that’s it.” He says to himself, before he lets the call reach his voicemail.

You stared at your phone; you had tried calling Steven 30 minutes ago, but it sent you to voicemail. There was no light on in his flat, so perhaps he was still at the Museum, or on his way home. Yeah, it had to be that. A sigh escapes you as you glance at your glass, you drink every drop in one go before you stand up from the couch. Today had not been a good day at work, some group of older women decided to pay a visit right before closing, only to ask for things you could not make or even sell, then proceeded to ask for them again but talk to you like you were some sort of idiot. Since they could not have things go their way, they started being absolute cunts, a nightmare. You were grateful Rose had not given a fuck and straight up kicked them out, you knew if the incident were to be brought up to the owner's attention, they would understand, which is why you were thankful for your job.

You walked back to the kitchen where the wine bottle stood, there was still some in it, but not for a full glass. You brought the bottle to your lips and drank it. Your muscles were tight around your shoulders, the alcohol not yet doing the trick. Soft droplets started to fall, bringing your attention to the window. The rain was calming down, you were glad you remembered to bring your umbrella to work this time.

It was then you remembered last time, how it had been Jake who swept in and drove you home. Truthfully, as much as you wanted to pretend you had entirely forgotten about Jake, you couldn’t. Sometimes, on those sleepless nights, your mind would think of your night with Steven, but it would be Jake instead. You felt guilty, the sexual frustration ate at you slowly, but you also couldn’t sleep with Steven knowing damn well you would think of Jake.

You sighed. There was a store not too far from your flat you could walk to, restocking a brand new bottle of wine sounded like the perfect thing to do, well, maybe two bottles. And while you are at it, use the time to cool your head. Yeah, that was a nice plan.

Quickly you walked to your room, looking through your wardrobe for a jacket until you found one.

Before you knew it, you were already one block away from the store. Your umbrella in one hand as the other was in your pocket, keeping it warm. The rain was softer now, yet the cold was unforgiving as you felt your jaw tense. You had opted to still go out with your shorts, tank top, and only your jacket to keep you warm, deeming the trip to be a quick one. When you left your flat you had gotten a text from Steven, telling you he had been in the shower and was gonna try to go to bed. You even had the impulse to ask for a pic, of course, you didn’t.

You groaned, something felt like you were about to start your period thanks to how ‘needy’ you were feeling. Or so you wanted to believe.

Suddenly you felt your phone vibrate on your back pocket, you reached for it and looked at the screen.

Unknown. Hesitating for a couple of seconds, you then tap the answer icon, bringing your phone to your ear.

‘Hello?’ You say.

‘Oh, so it is you.’ You feel your blood run cold, stopping in your tracks. ‘I thought you had given me the wrong number, well you sort of did, one of the numbers was wrong.’

Jake’s voice was deep, raspier than you remember. Your heart started beating like crazy, your grip on the phone tightened.

‘I did?’ You say softly, blinking as you try continuing your walk.

‘Sure did. Your fours looked like nines.’ He says a little annoyed, and you can’t help the laugh that escapes you.

‘Sorry about that, I was in a hurry when I did that, remember?’ You dig, getting a scoff from Jake in return.

‘How could I forget, I was called a dick for it.’ Maybe it was the wine in your system, the late night air, or hearing Jake’s voice so close to your ear that got you feeling ballsy.

‘Aww, never been told that before? Was I your first?’ To your tease, Jake laughs, just a deep-dark laugh, your bones shake as you try walking some more.

‘Been called worst sweetheart, and I sure as hell can take your worst.’

‘Don’t make promises you can’t keep. If I remember correctly, I gave you my number once you knew how to act like a grown up.’ You could see the store now, but you stopped dead in your tracks.

There you saw the back of a white limousine with ‘SPKTR’ as the plate, one you knew too well by now. On the right side of this one, you saw a man with an Flat hat, and soft dark curls. Jake was standing with his right side facing you, smoking outside the store.

‘Only children apologize through the phone. I wanna see you.’ You could hear his voice faintly.

He hadn’t seen you, all you had to do was to just turn around and walk away. But you stalled for too long, keeping yourself so quiet it seemed to worry Jake. He drops his cigarette, and looks at his phone, making sure the call was still going. But you tap the screen and end the call, this seems to confuse Jake, he furrowed his brows.

“I guess there is not a better time than the present.” Your voice surprises Jake, his eyes wide in alert, quickly relaxing once he sees you next to him.

“Gotta put a bell on ya’.” He says as he looks at you, really taking you in. His eyes going further down, he raises an eyebrow, not too happy to see your outfit. “You trying to catch a cold or something? What are you doing out this late?”

You roll your eyes. “What are you? My father? I came to buy some wine.”

Jake scoffs, clicking his tongue.

“Long day, huh? Hop in, I’ll get the bottle for ya.” He reaches the car door, opening this one. He gestures for you to get in.

“I can get it myself, Jake.” You tried telling him but he was already walking into the shop.

“Red or White?” He stopped to look at you and ask, you sighed.

“Both.”

After a couple of minutes of waiting inside the car, the door finally opened. Jake got in and placed the wine bottles between you and him, shutting the door. You had already started the car, allowing for this one to heat on.

“Thanks, how much was it?”

“None of that, take them as part of my apology.” You look away and out the window. Jake put on his seatbelt, then he cleared his throat. “Gonna say what got you so stressed out?”

“Old ladies who wanted things their way. Too many demands that were impossible to meet.” At the memory you sighed, closing your eyes.

“Want to head home?” His voice was hard to decipher, you turn to look at him.

Strong nose, clean shave, thick full lips. His eyes were looking straight ahead, the cap casting shadows on them.

“Are you free right now?” Your question makes him look at you, brown eyes even darker.

“Got an opening just for you.” He grins, you roll your eyes. “Where do you want to go? Your wish is my command, sugar.”

You looked away from him, staring at the windshield. The rain hadn’t stopped, nor did it seem it would any time soon.

“Can you drive us around?” Your voice came out softly.

“Sure can.” Jake shifts the gear and the car starts moving.

The two of you drive in silence for almost 15 minutes, you steal a couple of glances every so often. His features looked rougher than those of Steven, your eyes then fell on his hands; concealed under his leather gloves.

You imagined how the material would feel on your skin. The texture would probably be soft from all the use.

It was then you reached for one of the bottles, grabbing it blindly from the paper bag. Suddenly Jake reached into his jacket, pulling out something and handing it to you. You grabbed it confused, it was a swiss army knife.

“Don’t think you can open that with your mouth.” He says plainly and you laugh.

“You would be surprised.” You tease and quickly find the wine opener amongst the many gadgets. “Where exactly are we driving? Or is it just a mindless route?”

Jake clears his throat, adjusting himself on his seat. “Have anywhere in specific?”

“No, just wondering.” Pop. The cork popped, you quickly took a swing from the bottle.

The bittersweetness of the wine immediately hits your system, a sigh of relief leaves you.

“It’s not just those old ladies that have you like this, is it?” Jake asks, you let the bottle rest by your thigh.

“Good observation, Lockley. But you don’t want to hear about it.” You take another sip.

“Sugar, I could have you talk my ear off all night.” The pet name didn’t go unnoticed.

Once more, you let the bottle rest on your thigh, but this time, you turn to face him. Eying his side profile as he drove, there was a glint in his eyes that told you he was enjoying this, more like he was enjoying messing with you. He was getting too comfortable, acting like things were good once again.

“I’ve been debating whether or not I should sleep with Steven again.” The car almost makes a full stop. He tenses at your words. “What? Thought I could talk your ear off.”

Jake pulls over, you feel your blood pumping fast as the car comes to a full stop. There he sits in silence, hands gripping tightly at the steering wheel, he finally sighs.

“What do you want me to do?” The question confuses you. His voice came out deep, raspier. “Want me to get on my knees to beg for your forgiveness? Say the word and I will. I know what you think. That Steven is all sweet and nice, a perfect little boy. You wanna bring him home to mama? Go ahead. But we both know he can’t give you what I can.”

His sudden outburst surprises you, not once did he look you in the eye. Your eyes widen, breath catching on your throat.

“And what exactly is it that you can give me?” You tried to look unaffected, but the liquor was already making your body buzz, warming your skin.

Jake turns to look at you, eyes blow out as his lids are heavy.

“Hop in the back and I’ll show ya’.” His words are laced with lust, you feel your body respond to the insinuation, your falls pulsing with an unspoken promise.

You stare at him, his eyes shifting from yours to your lips, creating a path. “What if I don’t?”

“Tell me to fuck off and I’ll take you home sweetheart.” Unconsciously, you lick your lips, attracting all of his attention to them.

“Is this the other part of your apology?” You tease, causing him to chuckle.

“If you want it to be, it will make a hell of an apology that’s for sure.” He responded.

You take a deep breath. It wasn’t like you and Steven were together, there was never a talk about being exclusive, if anything you and Steven were becoming friends who started under different circumstances. You simply wanted to lay off some steam, all you had been thinking for the past week had been Jake and Steven.

“Better make it worth it then, Lockley.” At that Jake wolfishly grins, turning the engine off.

“Mejor de lo que esperas, ya verás.” He opens his door; you quickly place the wine bottle on a cup holder before opening your door as well. (Better than what you expect, you'll see.)

You quickly get out, soft rain falls on you as you walk towards the back of the limo, it was already getting late, the street was dead at this point. You open the door and step in, sitting down on the comfy seat. Jake closed the door behind him, quickly turning around, his right hand coming towards you as his lips clashed against yours. Immediately the kiss was returned with the same passion, your hands coming to pull the hat off and dropping it on the floor of the limo. Your hands found his hair, gripping it between your fingers as you let out a moan.

Jake pulls away, looking at you. “I’m gonna eat you up, sugar.” His voice came out hoarse. He starts kissing you again, but begins to kiss your jaw, slowly kissing your neck biting at the flesh.

“Got tired of sweetheart? Or simply wanted to try something new?” You say breathlessly. You feel him smile against your neck.

“Can’t a man say things as he sees them? You are addictive, I already can’t get enough of you.” Jake pulls down the zipper of your jacket, tearing it off you.

One of his hands takes claim at the back of your neck, the other on your waist. Quickly, Jake pulls you towards his lap making you straddle him. He bites at your collarbone, the hand on your waist squeezes the flesh there, before sneaking below the hem of your shirt. The leather was cold against your skin, but soft.

You pull on his hair, a breathy whine leaves your lips when he bites you one more time. His other hand squeezes your ass before he smacks it, making you jump.

“What sweetheart? You want gentle? Wrong fucking address baby.”

With his two hands, he grips your hips, pushing you down. It’s then you feel him, hard as he makes you grind against him. He pulls away, resting against the seat as he looks between the two of you. You moan at the friction, breath hitching.

“Jake.” His name leaves your lips, he grins proudly at you.

“Come on, move those hips a little. Show me just how much you need me.” He shifts his hips up, making you hold back a moan. “If you do a good job, I’ll eat you out, just like you deserved.”

You start grinding against him, moving your hips in slow motions as Jake continues to guide your hips. His jaw tenses, with heavy lids he watches you move, a wicked smile on his lips as he does.

He rubs circles on your hip bone with his thumbs, applying small pressure that is almost uncomfortable. Your hands find his jacket, gripping it tightly as you start feeling your body growing hot, heart quickening as your wall flutters against nothing. Your head falls back, trying to grind faster against Jake groin, you are so close you can almost feel heaven, but he stops you from doing so.

“Someone’s needy.” He says, his voice so deep you shake. Jake stops your movements all together.

“Jake please!” You whine. “Please, I’m so close.” You grab his face, leaning in and kissing his lips. “Please.”

“Fuck, never knew I would like to hear you beg this badly.” Suddenly, Jake hugs you, bringing the two of you to the floor of the limo, laying you down slowly.

He pulls away and sits on his heels. Jake tears his jacket off, revealing a white button up shirt underneath. He then grabs his black tie, losing it before pulling it off with both hands with little care. He unbuttons the sleeves of the shirt, rolling the sleeves up to his elbows taking his time as he looks at you, eyes traveling down your figure.

“You’re such a fucking tease.” You spat, eyes his body just the same.

Jake tilts his head to the side with a shrug.

“Just trying to enjoy the view, is not everyday I get to see you like this, do I?”

You roll your eyes, laughing.

“Never knew this was the only way to make you talk this much.” You tease, but are quickly silenced when Jake’s gloved hands make their way to the elastic of your shorts.

You lift your hips, letting him pull them off you leaving you in only your panties. When they were off, he whistled, running his gloved hands up your things, squeezing the flesh as he went. His eyes were heavy, a glint of something on them as he admired your thighs. You watched him lick his lips, the wetness it left on them making you squeeze your legs.

Jake then seems to look beyond you, gaze lost for a second. He seems to space out, the subtle change making you reach for his hand, squeezing it gently.

“You alright?” You ask but the question didn’t seem to reach him. You tried sitting down, your hands going up to his forearms and massaging the skin.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, Jake opened his eyes. His eyes made your body tense, he frowned deeply and his jaw tightened before he crashed your lips hard, the motion making you yelp. He pushed you back on the floor of the limo, the kiss becoming more heated, his grip on you possessive.

“Time’s runnin’ out.” He groans, his hands take your knees, spreading them apart to position himself between you. He starts to lower himself, getting closer to your pelvis.

Jake pushes your panties to the side, immediately going in and licking your clit. You moan, one of your hands flying to his head, grabbing a hand full of his curls. Your skin feels hot, a thin layer of sweat forms as your head falls back, the windshields are foggy as the two of you are surrounded by your breaths, your eyes rolled back as your mouth hangs open. You let out a breathy gasp, your stomach tightening as you feel your heart beat faster.

It’s exhilarating, the warmth of his breath against you as his mouth is enclosed around your clit, tongue licking quick little circles. His grip on your thighs is strong, bruising them as your back arches, air leaving your lungs as you start to feel the rise of your orgasm start again.

You looked back down with heavy eyes as you locked them with him. A dark gaze looks at you from between your legs, his curls soft when your hand runs through them, moving his hair away from his forehead. The action makes him bite your inner thigh, a yelp falls from your lips, he smirks as he kisses the teeth marks.

“You taste like heaven, my pretty little angel.” He places one more kiss. “So fucking wet, all of this for me.”

He pulls away and sits on his heels, hands going to his belt to undo it. He gets his jeans unbutton, pulling his zipper down. Jake hovers over you, leaning on one forearm as you hear him pulling himself from his briefs.

“Open your legs wider, sugar.” You do as he says, feeling the head of his cock brush against your clit, making your body jolt.

His hand grips your thigh, bringing it to wrap against his back. Jake kisses your lips as he pushes himself in you, the stretch making you grip his shoulders tightly. You gasp against his lips.

“Jake, fuck.” You shut your eyes as your head falls back, Jake’s nose brushes your ear.

“I’m gonna need you to work with me. I’m on the clock, next time I’ll take my sweet time with you.” The promise of a next time makes your walls flutter, making Jake let out a breathy laugh. “Yeah, you like the sound of that? I’ll fuck you nice and good, make you forget all about Steven with my cock sweetheart.”

“Don’t talk about him.” You moan as you feel his cock pulsate inside you. His pace is starting to speed up.

“Why not? Afraid I’m right?” He thrust hard at that, the hand on your thigh squeezing hard. “Sweetheart, fuck him as much as you want. We both know you’ll come begging for me when I’m done with you.” His thrusts are faster, deeper and harsher. You can feel the limo start to shake at the same rhythm. He starts hitting the spot that makes your body tingle, your eyes roll as you feel your orgasm start to build up.

Your hand flies to his hair, fisting the strands between your fingers as your breath hitches, mouth open wide as you pull Jake’s hair. He thrust faster, the limo shaking as he did, the motion making him go deeper as you feel your walls tighten around him. The sound of skin hitting skin, jagged breaths, moans and whines filled the vehicle. You arched your back, eyes shut tight as you pull even harder on Jake’s hair.

“I’m coming.” Your voice comes out hoarse, throat dry from all the breathing. “Jake.”

“Hazlo.” He says against your ear. “You deserve it, you take me so fucking well. Me vuelves loco, muñeca.” (Do it. You drive me crazy, doll.)

You feel your lower stomach tighten before you feel your high hit you. Your body tensed, shaking from the stimulation as you came around Jake’s cock, screaming his name breathlessly. While you felt it pulsating, Jake’s pace became messy trying to work with your fucked out state.

“Perfecto, justo así.” Jake’s face comes into view, one of his gloved hands comes to your jaw, making you look straight into his eyes, his mouth is now a thin line as he frowns in pure pleasure, a moan comes from the back of his throat. “Mira qué maravilla, tan perfecta. Estas hecha para mí.” (Perfect, just like that. Look how wonderful, so perfect. You are made for me.)

Then he pulls out quickly making you moan at the sudden emptiness. You remove your grip from Jake, allowing him to sit on his heels once more. It’s then you see him pump his cock at a fast pace, eyes not leaving yours as he comes, his spend landing on your belly.

His frame shakes slightly, body slouching forward as he takes deep breaths, both of his palms on either side of your waist. His curls flow down, you bring your hand towards them, pushing them aside, you can feel the sweat at the root of his scalp. When you do that, he looks up at you, his features slightly softer and you feel your chest tighten.

He looked just like Steven for a brief second, for a second you thought your mind was trying to play a mean little joke with you. You tried seating down as Jake pulled away from your touch, putting his cock back inside his briefs and started to zip down his jeans.

“How was that for an apology?” He teases, buckling his belt.

“Not bad, but you do need to stop bringing Steven into things.” You reach for your shorts and put them on.

“You started it, I just went along.” Jake fixes his curls, pushing his hair back before putting his cap on. You look at him, ready to defend yourself, but you stare instead.

With only his white dress shirt sleeves rolled up, his black gloves, cap and black tie undone makes you want to burn the image into your brain. Store it for another of your restless nights.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” He chuckles, grabbing his jacket from the floor and opening the door. “Vamos, que te tengo que llevar a casa, muñeca.” (Come on, got to take you home, doll.)

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