#I gotta go find a cobbler

[silverspleen]

@arcanacheque F!! F!! 84F I fucked up!!

@mad-rieux I really REALLY need some sort of chaos cosplay next but the pipe dream is a nid fursuit. There's actually a covid surge at work so I'll be masking bc it's likely happening irl too. I keep thinking that maybe I should write "Not Today Nurgle" on it for funsies.

@opttwoodrow Imperial Commissar, am trash and wearing a big scary coat and boots truly does wonders for the self esteem and posture. I have some old professionally done pics from a different con on my blog somewhere I can bring back! I look gently scary because I'm slightly taller than average but I'm usually in high social mode so when people actually talk to me I'm like *high pitched ultra bubbly feminine voice* "Thank you for the compliment~~~ UWU <3 <3 "

Unless you yell some sort of 40k thing at me on the escalator then I'm legally ok to scream THE EMPEROR PROTECTS back at you in a scary voice or nooooo :( if you yell some chaos tomfoolery.

[artistmarchalius]

Cockney Rhyming Slang Phrases Part 2

In a previous post I went into Cockney rhyming slang history and gave some tips on how to use it.

This is the second post in a series where I’ll give you some commonly used Cockney rhyming slang phrases, phrases that I find funny, as well as some phrases that I think would be useful for Spider-Verse fic writers specifically. Part 1 of this series can be found here.

So let’s get started on Part 2!

C-D

China Plate - Mate

E.g. “How are you, me old China?” Or “I’m meeting me old China at the pub later.”

Cobblers Awls - Balls

E.g. “Ooh! Got him right in the cobblers!”

It can also be used to mean “Nonsense”. E.g. “What a load of cobblers!” is another way of saying “What a load of nonsense!”

Cream Crackered - Knackered

E.g. “Sorry mate, I’m creamed!” Or “I’m cream crackered!”

Custard and Jelly - Telly (Television)

E.g. “Shh! I’m watching the custard.”

Daisy Roots - Boots

E.g. “Hang on, I need to put my daisies on!”

Dicky Bird - Word

E.g. “Not a dicky bird, mate.”

Another example of where you usually use the whole phrase. Also, “word” can also mean “a brief chat”. E.g. “Can I have a dicky bird?”

Dog and Bone - Phone

E.g. “You know what, give me a call on the old dog and bone and we’ll sort it out then.”

Duck and Dive - Skive

E.g. “Let’s duck!” Or “I gotta duck.”

Skive means to avoid work, usually by leaving early, similar to what Americans might call “playing hooky”.

Dustbin Lid - Kid

E.g. “How’s the dustbin lid?”

As mentioned in Part 1, it’s good to keep in mind that there can be multiple Cockney rhyming slang phrases for the same word, as well as multiple Cockney rhyming slang phrases that start with the same word. For more information, see Part 1.

As always, I’m not an expert; a true Cockney would know far more than I do. I just want to share the knowledge that I have. I hope someone will find this helpful, informative, or entertaining at the very least.

I’ve got more Cockney rhyming slang phrases coming, but if there’s any other areas of British slang you’d like me to go into, let me know and I’ll see what I can do!

Happy writing and happy speaking!

My other British slang posts: Cockney Rhyming Slang, Cockney Rhyming Slang Phrases Part 1, British Police Slang, Terms of Endearment, Innit VS In’t - a PSA

[elinorasims]

Build | Strangerville | Ziggy's Diner

Lot Info

Type | Restaurant Lot Size | 30x20 World | Strangerville Value | 94,857 Baths | 3 CC | No Packs | Unrestricted Ziggy's Diner is a classicly retro mashup of Googie and passenger train inspired styles situated in Strangerville Plaza.

Ziggy's is a compact restaurant and bar combo with a Strangerville twist: classic red booths and an elongated mid-century modern bar layout meets sci-fi inspired and 50's-kitsch inspired cluttered decor..

It's giving the diner from the movie 'Paul'. I hope. lol

Ziggy's has a fully customised menu featuring some Mountain States inspired comfort dishes and some American classics (full menu below the cut).

DOWNLOAD >>

Interior Tour

Bar

Staff Areas

Floor Plan

| hi my loves

hopefully you like this one- it was super fun to build and I'm finding my feet a bit more building for this save, i think!

it's been playtested (briefly lol) and should be fully functional and a smooth enough restaurant experience for your sims to enjoy.

i love Paul so much aha we watched it this past weekend and i was immediately like 'yup. gotta go do a strangerville build now.'

| dag dag fn. <3

Ziggy's Diner Menu

Drinks water ; lemonade ; milk ; orange juice ; coffee ; cream cola ; fizzy fruity drink ; pitch black ; root beer float ; soda ; tang and zing ; boiler room ; eapa ; juice on the rocks ; wrench ; galactic vita-water ; silent film ; sour punch ; sunset valley ; alien juice ; cupid juice ; space energy drink ; jet juice

Appetisers chips and salsa ; mac and cheese ; bowl of olives ; bread roll ; french fries ; whole wheat bread ; popcorn shrimp ; garden salad ; cheesy bread ; grilled plantains ; seafood chowder ; soft shell crab cake ; empanadas ; watermelon salad

Mains mac and cheese ; chicken nuggets ; popcorn shrimp ; baked potato ; hot dog ; lobster roll ; veggie burger ; chicken and waffles ; fried chicken sliders ; mushroom waffles ; sausage and peppers ; scrambled eggs with bacon ; seafood chowder ; tofu dog ; fish tacos ; hamburger ; fried fish ; pancakes ; aubergine Parmesan ; sweet corn pizza ; mushroom steak ; french toast ; vegetable chilli ; egg white omelette ; mushroom soup ; bbq ribs plate ; blackened bass ; gumbo ; steak

Dessert neapolitan ice cream ; rainbow sorbet ; vanilla ice cream ; alien fruit tart ; cream filled donut ; cream snack cake ; honey cake ; plain waffles ; rainbow brownies ; hamburger cake ; chocolate chip cookie ; apple pie ; banana cream pie ; pumpkin pie ; simcity cheesecake ; fruit cobbler

[ladygojooo]

Neither Did I, My Dear (Nanami x Reader)

Synopsis: Five years - the amount of time you've been single, in university over in the States, and out of Japan. The amount of time you had to get over your ex.

Somehow, it wasn't enough.

Pairing: Kento Nanami x reader

WC: 2.3k

Content: exes to lovers, alternate universe - no powers, spiraling thoughts, hurt/comfort, angst, angst to fluff, fluffy ending, reconciliation (possibly OOC Nanami)

A/N: I tried, guys, I really did, but no guarantees that Kento is in character. I'm hoping that the more I write JJK fanfics, the easier it'll become to slip into their skins (metaphorically, lol). AO3 link here.

After five years in America, you’d forgotten how light Japan got in the springtime.

You didn’t really know how to put it, exactly, but it’s like you could see the sunbeams between the buildings and trees. You saw all the pastels and lighter colors of passerbys, the bright colors of the stands, the cherry blossoms - all of it was something you lost when you moved overseas for university. America had its vibrancy, sure, but it often was overwhelmingly grey. 

Even the peaches were softer and sweeter back in your home country. You smiled at the man running the stand, dropping the money into his hand and walking away with your find. Maybe you could make a nice peach cobbler, that was always your favorite dessert to eat when in the States.

Or, you thought as you were pushed and watched your peaches go flying into the air, maybe it would be better to force the person who ruined the peaches to pay for a new round.

“My apologies,” a baritone voice said, “I didn’t see you there.”

You looked up in spite of the unpleasant leap in your stomach to find him there.

Kento Nanami.

Valedictorian. Salaryman. Wannabe emo.

…and ex-boyfriend.

“It’s no problem,” you said, keeping your head down and gathering your peaches. “I’m not the best at watching my surroundings.”

He stayed quiet for a few moments, and for a brief second, you thought he’d move on and continue walking to wherever he had to go.

It wouldn’t be the first time.

But, much to your chagrin, your name came forth from his lips, and all hope of walking away from this encounter without further interaction was dashed spectacularly.

“Nanami, hey.” Your smile felt more like a grimace, but you’d practiced in front of a mirror long enough to know that it would look fine. “How- how’ve you been?”

“I’ve been well.” He bent down and picked up the last peach, putting it in the bag from whence it came. “I’ve been working for the past few years. It’s monotonous work at its finest, but there’s not much to complain about.”

“I’m glad work isn’t too much for you,” you said, keeping the strained smile on your face. “I know you worked hard to get to where you’re at.”

You both stood, letting the noise of the people moving around you fill the void that was your history.

He looked good. The lanky frame he had in high school had properly filled out, his hair had been cut and made him look professional, and the sunglasses - well, the sunglasses simply added onto the charm.

Not that there was any charm anymore. No. No, absolutely not. None.

“Would you-”

“I’ve gotta-”

You both stopped, caught off guard by speaking at the same time. “You first,” you insisted.

Nanami nodded in thanks. “Would you like to get coffee sometime? I’d like to catch up with you, if you’re willing.”

Your heart screamed in dread and delight at the proposition. It was everything you’d hoped for since he’d told you that the relationship was over, sure, but-

You’d spent five years trying to find some semblance of normal in the wake of the damage he left behind. Would intentionally meeting up with him undo all of that hard fought progress?

“I-” You cut yourself off and sighed. Who were you kidding? You still couldn’t say no to him, not even after all this time apart. “I’m free next Saturday.”

~~~

After exchanging numbers, texting back and forth sporadically, and figuring out a coffee shop which you both wanted to go to, you finally made it to the following Saturday.

You felt like you were going to puke.

Your nerves felt two seconds away from lighting on fire, which was a stark contrast to your deep and even breaths.

You felt like you were going to puke.

You leaned forward, your forehead touching the top of the steering wheel. Your eyes closed as you breathed yet again. How was this going to go? How could you stand in front of Nanami - purposefully - and not lose all the progress you made in moving on? Have you even moved on?

You felt like you were going to- 

“Alright, that’s enough, out of the car,” you told yourself, forcibly yanking your mind out of a downward spiral. You told Nanami you’d be here, and so help you if you skipped out of it because you were afraid of some stupid feelings that should have died a long time ago.

The shop bell chimed brightly as you walked in. It was a quaint little place, one recommended by Nanami himself, and one that you were quite taken by. Maybe you’d swing by here another time by yourself to enjoy it without the dread of talking to your ex hanging over you.

Speaking of, you heard him call your name from off to your right. Situated in the corner away from the other patrons was Nanami, two cups of coffee in front of him.

You waved, and as you drew close to the table, you spoke. “Hey, thank you for getting us a spot. I hope I didn’t keep you too long.”

“No worries. I wanted to make sure we had a spot that wasn’t in the midst of the shop. If I recall correctly, I know we both value peace and quiet.”

You were able to blame the way your eyes darted away from his on hanging your backpack on the back of your seat. It had been over five years since you last had any meaningful conversation with him, how in the world did he still remember that about you?

“I appreciate it, Nanami, thank you.” You smiled politely at him, hoping against hope that you weren’t blushing. “And thank you for the coffee. You didn’t have to do that.”

“Nonsense, I was the one to initiate this outing. It’s only fair that I cover the cost.”

You nodded once and took a sip. Your eyebrows raised in surprise. “Is this a muddy mocha?”

“Yes. It’s still your favorite type of coffee, correct?”

You didn’t have an excuse to break eye contact, but your eyes still glanced down at the table for a moment. Goodness, you hoped your polite poker face extended to blushing as well. “It is, yeah.”

“Good,” he said. You looked up at him through your lashes again, catching the way the side of his mouth ticked up the tiniest bit. You answered his grin with one of your own.

~~~

Much to your surprise, you two had fallen right into conversation like no time had passed. Tales about university, dead end jobs, and daily life were exchanged freely. You got to tell him about your friend group over in America, and Nanami got to disclose all the details about what his friend group in Japan was up to (you dutifully ignored the pang in your heart as you remembered that they weren’t your friends anymore).

“And that’s,” he said chuckling, head tilted back ever so slightly, “how Haibara ended up getting the number of a convict.”

“Oh my gosh,” you laughed, hand covering your mouth so as not to disturb the rest of the cafe with how loud you were. “If you would have told me that sweet, innocent Yu would one day get the contact information for a lady who’s been arrested multiple times for public drunkenness, I wouldn’t have believed it.”

“I still don’t.” Nanami’s voice sounded warm and inviting, just like-

Your laughter turned to sniffles and cries in an instant, and for the life of you, you couldn’t understand why you couldn’t just remain happy. Why did you always have to do this to yourself?

You heard Nanami shift in his seat. “Are you okay?”

His question, so full of concern for your wellbeing, only pushed you closer to tears. You stood abruptly, gathering your cup and your backpack in a few seconds.

“This was a bad idea, I- I’m sorry, Nanami, I have to go,” you whispered, hand still over your mouth and half over your face as you tried to conceal your sudden shift in mood. You hurried over to the trash can by the front door and threw away the empty cup.

“Wait-”

His voice cut off as you pushed open the door, fleeing as quickly as you could.

You idiot, you knew that coming out was a bad idea, but noooo, you just had to go ahead and screw yourself over. All that progress, and for what? An outing you deluded yourself into thinking was a date?

“Stop.”

You didn’t have time to wipe your tears from your face as Nanami cornered you against the wall. The alleyway in which you two stood was abandoned, just like it was the day he broke up with you.

“It isn’t like you to burst into tears like that,” Nanami said, eyes creased with worry. “Please tell me what’s going on.”

“Let me go, Nanami,” you whispered, your head turned to the side so you didn’t look at him.

“Not when you’re upset like this.”

You laughed bitterly. “What makes you think you have the right to try to soothe me? Why start now?” Silence answered you, and you couldn’t help the splinter of your heart. “Just let me go, please.”

“Let me make this right,” he murmured, drawing closer. You shook your head.

“You can’t.”

Only a few seconds of silence passed before you felt his fingers gently take hold of your jaw and turn your head toward him. Two more tears dropped down your cheeks when your eyes met his. He wiped them away and settled his thumb along your cheek, letting it glide back and forth.

“I-” He sighed raggedly. “It hurts me more than ever to see you in pain. What did I do, and how can I fix it?”

You laughed around a sob stuck in your throat and tilted your head back, moving out of his grasp. His hand landed on your neck instead. Your eyes closed.

“For a moment,” you mumbled, “for a moment, I felt normal again. We used to do this all the time, back when we were in school, and for a second, it-”

You paused and breathed before you started crying harder. You already hated that there were tears streaming down your face, but the prospect of breaking down further terrified you. This was the same man who walked away after shattering your heart. You didn’t want to be vulnerable in front of him again.

“Kento,” you whimpered, body betraying you as more tears slipped down your face, “for the first time in five years, everything felt bright again. I felt at peace for the first time in so long, only to remember that this is going to end. We’ll both leave the coffee shop and go back to our regular lives, and that’s ok - it is - but-”

“Breathe, darling,” he said as he rubbed his hands up and down your arms. It had always been a tried-and-true method that he used back in high school to calm you down, but after so long of not having him, it only made you fully burst into tears.

“It’s been five years, Kento, why do you still hold my heart captive?”

You couldn’t see the look of devastated longing on his face through your tears, but you could feel him guide you into his arms again. You felt his warmth and strength hold you as you fell apart for the first time in a long while. You felt him rock you back and forth as your tears soaked into his shirt.

You felt whole again in the arms of the man who broke your heart, and you hated it just as much as you loved him.

Only when your cries turned into the occasional sniffle did he speak again.

“I suppose we’ve both been holding each other captive, then.”

You couldn’t understand what he was talking about. “What?”

Kento shifted, drawing you the tiniest bit closer. His breath was warm where it fanned against the crown of your head. “I’ll be honest - I asked you out today to see if there was a chance you’d allow me to date you again. Ending our relationship was the worst decision I’ve made.”

You pulled away from his chest to look at him, hoping that your face didn’t appear pathetically hopeful. “What?”

His hand came once more to rest on your cheek, eyes flitting between yours. “My heart has always been yours, I just didn’t realize it until you disappeared the week after everything ended.”

“Kento…”

“Please, sweetheart,” he whispered, touching his forehead to yours, “let me win your heart over once again. Let me be yours.”

With his plea came two distinct paths.

The first? You could keep the walls you’d painstakingly built, back away from Nanami, and walk away. The path of your future would be blank and wide open, and you could mold it any which way you wanted. You could pursue further education, found a charity, rescue a dog or two - any and all of it, it was open to you.

And it seemed terribly unappealing.

The second? 

Well, you could lean forward and feel the warmth of his lips once more. You could spend more nights together, making dinner and watching tv before leaving for your apartment. You could hold his hand, exchange warm glances, and pepper his face with kisses. You could one day have and hold him, until death did you both part.

And so you leaned forward ever so slightly, bridging the chasm that stood between the both of you.

His lips, slightly chapped though they were, felt so much like home that it took an embarrassing amount of strength to keep standing and not fall completely into him. Kento’s hands found their way to your waist, pulling you impossibly closer as he reciprocated.

“I never stopped loving you,” was the first thing out of your mouth when you pulled away. 

He chuckled, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“Neither did I, my dear.”

[hippolotamus]

🪩🪩☀️☀️

I know you can do 20 sentences, my love, you've got this!

As you wish, Sir

�� - Mirrorball || prev snippet || master list

The stinging bite of jealousy settles in Eddie’s chest, curling up like a wild creature behind his ribs. He only hates himself a little for it. Honestly, he shouldn’t even be thinking about who else gets to see Arsen’s* body. Who might call him over for a lap dance or to a private room. Eddie saw what he came for and got his fix. Now he can drive to Athena’s and ignore Bobby’s curious looks while he stress eats his now weekly peach cobbler. He begins pushing his chair away from the table when a familiar voice stops him. “Leaving already, handsome? Here I thought we could play a little longer.” Time feels almost suspended, syrupy and slow as Eddie turns towards the sound. He finds himself eye level with a sparse thatch of hair peeking out from an electric blue waistband. His gaze travels up, up, up to an equally brilliant blue.

*if you're new here Arsen = Buck's stage name

☀️ - Weather and Time || prev snippet || master list

That night, after Where the Wild Things Are, The Giving Tree, one too many Five-Minute stories, a cup of water (and a trip to the bathroom), Christopher finally agrees to sleep. Or at least to Eddie kissing him goodnight and leaving the room. He flicks on the planet themed night light before softly closing the door behind him.   His body begs him to stay in the hallway and sag against the wall. To slowly slide to the floor, rest his elbows on his knees and hold his head in his hands. But there’s perfectly chilled beer in the fridge and a Rangers game that should just be starting.  He sprawls on the sofa, one hand cradling the back of his head while the other holds his drink. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” he mutters as soon as the game coverage starts and he remembers the Rangers are playing the Arizona Diamondbacks tonight. Because of course they are. Why would it possibly be any other team?

also going to use this as my mumbledy sentences Sunday/Last Line Tag

tagged by @loveyouanyway @missmagooglie @actuallyitsellie @jesuisici33 @tizniz

@thekristen999 @lemonzestywrites @elvensorceress @daffi-990 @loserdiaz

@spotsandsocks @wikiangela @diazsdimples @bidisasterevankinard

@shipperqueen6 (tagging y'all back for next time)

it's late so np tagging for the next tag day @stereopticons @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @filet-o-feelings @queerbuckleys

@bi-buckrights @chaosandwolves @epicbuddieficrecs @eowon @fortheloveofbuddie

@bucksbiawakening @giddyupbuck @saybiwithme @honestlydarkprincess @hoodie-buck

@indestructibleheart @ladydorian05 @monsterrae1 @spaceprincessem @statueinthestone

@steadfastsaturnsrings @the-likesofus @theotherbuckley @theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming @thewolvesof1998

@watchyourbuck @weewootruck @wildlife4life @your-catfish-friend @underwaterninja13

@kitteneddiediaz and anyone else who wants to 😘

[ebonyslasher]

What’s going on Sis! I have a little request!

Female Slashers Being Invited to their black! S/O family Cookout!

Please? For the culture! And thank you ❤️

Hey sis! I'll definitely do that for you and the culture 💕

Female slashers being invited to their black!S/O's family cookout:

Although there's a bunch of human food, and she can't eat any blood: it smells delicious. She'll nibble on some before she hits her limit. Too much human food can make her barf. And she doesn't want to be disrespectful.

Plus the food was DIVINE. Oh, that sweet red velvet and that mac and cheese~. Now y'all know white people love some cheese!

Might want to watch your hornier cousins around her. Can't have them going missing.....

Will she dance? Sure. It won't be on beat sometimes but she looks great doing it!

Most of the family likes her, except a few. Your conservative aunties/grandma turn up their nose at the way she dresses and parades around. You tell her not to mind them.

She's pretty chill, although the temptation of eating your horny ass cousins is high. Y'all might have to leave a little early.

Oh wait, a smoke break? Excuse me, a trip to the corner store. Yeah let's go and get some snacks rq

Very excited to meet your extended family.

Overwhelmed by 2 things: either or both by A. how big your family is or B. how outgoing they are.

Thankfully, they figure out fast that she is shy. So most back off and leave it to just and introduction. A few try to get her out of her shell. "Ay girl, you don't have to be so shy!" "We wont bite ya!"

She thinks they are wonderful and she loves how hospitable they are towards her.

You'll find her either sticking right beside you or by your other very shy cousins hanging out around the house.

Dancing? OH NOOOOOOOOOOOO. Maybe next time?

The food? Delectable. Carrie stares at the desserts very longingly. But, she'll need to wait until she finishes her main food! That's what she was taught. But one problem is...if she makes it there.

"Oh, y/n I'm so sleepy." The itis done got to her.

She goes to find a room but there's a bunch of toddlers drooling on the bed. It's such a cute scene, but not what she needs. She goes to try to find another unoccupied room.

Lady Dimitrescu:

"Dear...why are we going so late? They said it'll start at 2:00 pm."

"Lady D...START isthe key word here. It's a suggestion anyway."

She thinks you want to be fashionably late but nooooo. The food won't be done by then. And most of the family damn sure wont be there. We play on CP time honey.

Y'all get there via her monster transformation, since her big tall ass can't fit in a regular car.

And you did warn her ahead of time that she will get comments about how tall she is. Especially from your one cousin that couldn't keep their mouth shu-

"Damn cuz you aint tell me you gotta AMAZONIAN." Lord here they go. Other than the occasional, "Damn, she big!," Lady D mostly deals with stares the whole time.

And of course that one uncle and cousin dup have to ask, "She give you dat snu snu?," trying to play with you. You try not to laugh but it's a little funny.

Out of respect of your family, she doesn't bludgeon your very thirsty uncle.

The food smells appetizing, but she will have to pass. It'll fuck up her stomach, unless it's a very bloody piece of meat. The desserts are what she can eat. She adores the peach cobbler and the key lime pie.

She tries to dance but she accidentally knocks a few people over with her hips. Oh well!

Dre:

She knows what time it is. They said 1:30 pm? Y'all not going until 3:30.

Scarfs down the food, it's scary. Some of your family are looking at her like she crazy. And she is.

"Damn, the food ain't going nowhere!!"

She knows that!!! But it's just too damn good!

Dancing? Eh, if she's in the mood. If your family has been really nice she might. She will request a Queen Ni'jah song.

Speaking of that, she will be adamant on asking your cousins if they fuck with her. You already told them ahead of time to just say yes.

She hangs out in the corner, strategically placing herself by the food.

She'll play some games, surprisingly good at spades. Her favorite part is slamming the cards on the table. Basically this video.

[contentment-of-cats]

*up for air*

Bills paid to $0. Medical expenses handled. Uber funds topped up. Insurance paid to the end of the year. Donut-hole fund for 2025 (!!!) on a prepaid card.

Work is more work when one person's fired and their work is split between me and someone else, but all her quarterly stuff is finally in. Boss has said he will rehire her if the accountant doesn't find embezzlement and she can complete rehab.

I was going to make apple pie, but the filling got detoured into topping vanilla ice cream, filling turnovers, made into a cobbler, and became an experimental fried pie a la Popeye's. Gotta love that cinnamon/sugar/fried dough crunch and the lava-hot filling.

Finally had to turn on the heat. Kitties no longer have to battle for position since I gave up on gas heat and just use space heaters.

Remission is close but far away, as tenuous as a dream. A year I never expected to see is coming to a close. I am grateful to have had it.

[streamdotpng]

Coffee Enid [#4] 👍🥐

Enid was absolutely swamped with helping Yoko at the bakery, the numerous "meetings" they all had together about the business, and continuing to gain funds to pay off the stand. It was stressful owning a business, but Enid enjoyed the trials and successes everytime dhe got to unlock the shop, and prep for the day it was like a soothing routine for her!

She loved it, however, she hoped people wouldn't notice she was slightly late opening the shop.

The day went on with Enid making various cups of coffee and handing out different pastries and sandwiches to her customers, soaking up the smiles and joyful vibes that ran through.

Just when she thanked her sixth customer of the day, she appeared. To which Enid leaned upon the counter smirking.

"Hello, small, dark, and handsome. What can I get you today?"

Wednesday glared that causing the wolf to chuckle.

"Yes, you can. By explaining why you are two hours-thirty-six minutes, and forty seconds late on opening your establishment. You are always punctual, what happened?" The goth stared deep within her soul awaiting an answer.

Enid only leaned back rubbing the back of her neck nervously. "Just things is all."

"Things? Shall I kill things if that meant it would cause a genuine smile on your face?"

"What? How did you- have you been watching me this whole time??"

"That's for me to know, and you to never find out."

Enid stared at the short woman in front of her - a grin forming on her lips. "You're weird as shit."

"The feeling is mutual, now answer my question or I'll find out on my own."

"Okay, Ms. Detective - I'm not talking since you wanna be like that," Enid crossed her arms and turned her head, not noticing the challenging glint in the goth's eyes. "I don't mic business with pleasure."

"So be it."

Enid giggled as she rested her hands on the counter. "Now you answer my previous question."

The goth smirked, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "No. You figure it out."

Enid grinned as she winked at the woman before going into the back to wash her hands, then begin making the woman her order.

A large quad over ice, a BLT sandwhich with spicy mayo, and a new item on the menu; mini black berry cobbler.

Enid placed the order in the bag and handed it to her.

The goth gave a confused glance at her then the register, then back to her directly in her eyes.

"Aren't you gonna give me mt total?"

"Mm, no. Gotta make sure my stalker detective is fed for her investigation."

The goth growled placing her bag lightly on the counter and fished for her wallet.

"No! Don't you dare, take it and leaves."

"Ludicrous, I am paying."

"Take. The. Food."

"No."

"Dammit woman take it!"

"No!"

"If you put that hundred dollar on this counter I will throw you out of here."

"Is that a threat or a promise?"

Enid glared at the woman before walking around the counter and grabbing the woman as if she weighed nothing, gripping her collar and carrying her out of the shop before setting the dazed woman on the ground and returning from inside with her order and her dollar.

"Have a good day kitten!" Enid said waving at the shocked goth while she returned inside her shop.

The wolf laughed as she watched the dumbfounded woman leave with a deathly vengeance.

She was cute. Hopefully, she'll come back again soon.

Omygod, Enid got the backbone to flirt with Wednesday, good for her. Small short and handsome, you bet Wednesday was screaming in her head and it's why she glared

Then Wednesday got scruffed so easily, that's gonna haunt her nightmares for DAYSS

I feel like Enid would pause when she'd realize that she touched a customer. ".. Can I get sued for this?"

[bharv]

Answering my own reading questions!

because I can! feel free to do these as asks or just fill them out I'm a nosy bitch.

How many BG3 fics did you subscribe to or bookmark on A03 in 2023?

22 bookmarks and 9 new authors subbed to! There's been so much great stuff out there.

Did you have a favourite canon character to read?

I love a good Gale fic, but actually it's default Durge, if that counts. If not, Gortash.

Do you have a favourite OC of somebody else's that you fell in love with this year?

Oof, a tough one but I've gotta say that I love @mordymord's Labrys and @popiellart's Wormwood like AIR. Both have some similar traits in a lot of ways, being lean, clever demigods, but both are also so distinct. I don't think I've read any other characters like them. There's SO many good Durges but I fell for both of these fic-first.

Which fic that you've read has been the most popular?

Probably @aliquistis' excellent Gale/Tav fic Witch Ways, which has one of my other favourite OCs. Echo is excellent, and the fic is SO well done. No wonder it has 25k hits!

Which fic has been your hidden gem that you think deserves a wider readership?

I can't choose one, so have three: I'm coming around all of your houses with print outs of Intimate Connection by @plethomacademia because it deserves a HUGE readership. I think Concentration (a moment's silence) by @smoreofbabylon (and all of 'smore's fics) are just excellent. And please, read @des-no9 the one who bleeds, it's fucking beautiful.

Was there a fic you read that was completely out of your comfort zone, but you absolutely loved?

Loook I'm not a monsterfucker but. Also! I'd say that Subjugation by @say-lene is not my usual dynamic but I ADORED it. And I loved Voyeur which again was not something I'd ordinarily reach for but I think @rowanisawriter is SUCH a talented writer, I gobble up everything.

Is there a piece of description from a fic that you particularly loved?

this from FIRE WALK WITH ME by @todderwodders

Enver suspects his parents do not fully appreciate that she is a middleman. Her eyes, wine dark as they were, and her fine, perfectly kept curls may be charming, but there is an air of servant that comes clear as she speaks in winding language that seems intent on sewing confusion. No patriar or lord would sit down to a cobbler’s dinner. No patriar or lord would deny themselves a drink, or read paperwork aloud to lay people. This wine dark woman is a warlock, and he roughly knows the vague mechanics of warlocks in the makings of a deal with someone of more importance and as a result benefiting in magic and boons. That she should be as she is makes a kind of sense, then. That interests him, draws him in, even as his mother has that glazed look she always gets when she only half cares to listen to what people say to her. She has counted and recounted coin, measuring and remeasuring where it is all meant to go on her abacus. Sometimes he suspects her mind wanders without permission if she is not kept busy. Often, she comes back to the present sharply, eager to needle endlessly over past slights or gossip, over the current conversation. He wants to explain things to her in a clearer way that she will listen to, to ask questions of this dedicated warlock where she numbly nods along. 

Is there a piece of dialogue from a fic that has stayed with you?

Listen I sometimes find myself doing everyday life things and stopping and thinking about this exchange from The Dark Urge sleeps alone by @popiellart

"You remind me of my sister."

"What's a sister?" Lae'zel demands breathily, and drops her hips down, spearing herself on him without hesitation, drawing a desirous, possessive growl from his draconic muzzle.

His eyes, half-lidded with hunger, have that foggy, far-away look that vexes others, but she doesn't mind.

He is living, yawning death on the battlefield, his scales turning regal crimson whenever he's bathed in blood, and when he violently grips her and slams her down on the crumbling altar, bruising her back and cracking this font of worship to some dusty, dead god with the roaring fire of their living, he is a dragon red enough for her.

"I don't know," he admits, finally. "Something sharp, I think."

What was your overall most read type of fic in 2023? Were there tropes you particularly loved? A pairing that you adored?

Dark as shit Dark Urge fic. GOD the fandom has just taken all of the little strands given by Larian and run with them. The endless invention, expression, interpretation of the fans has been extraordinary. I love you guys. Never change. Keep weird.

What would you like to read in 2024 if you could wave a wand and get exactly what you wanted?

More Jaheira/Halsin. Just ANYTHING I am desperate for more of this.

Something with Wyll/Karlach which is very, very sexy and very queer. Top Karlach! More t4t!

More Gale/Lae'zel that reaaaally leans into her alien qualities honestly. I love this ship and might start writing it.

Filthy, filthy Ketheric stuff. FUCK THAT MAN TO DUST.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #211

I had work today from 9am until 1pm. All things considered, I was fairly well-slept.

One thing I forgot to mention yesterday is that after my adulting and errands, I decided to get myself some prizes. One of the prizes was a neck pillow, to try to make sleep a little less painful. The other one was a sleep mask so that I might be able to nap a little better during the day if I gotta. And I got a unicorn hat for Br. I also got a very pretty bow; I'll show it to you:

...I like it!!! It matches my sweater!!! So I wore it to work today, even though my work outfit is all black. Even the apron is black. But the bow allowed for a visible splash of color. My socks give me a splash of color underneath all the black, but no one can see it because they are in my shoes, and that's kinda sad.

...Wait!!! I forgot!!! I have a camera!!! I can fix that!!! One sec!!!

These are my socks today. No, I don't wear matching socks; I find mismatched ones to be a bit more interesting because then I can have more colors!!!

Hey, Sephiroth? Do you wear colorful socks under all that black? I wonder.

I remembered to drink water and eat food before my work shift (yay!). Today, I made a hotdog for breakfast! I put the sauteed onions, peppers, and mushrooms that I made the other day on it, and then I put on the leftover Frito cheese from that picnic we had with R. And it was an AMAZING hotdog!!! But I got a little too excited after it came out of the microwave, and I bit into it a little too soon, and I ended up burning my tongue. 😭 So that's gonna be very annoying for the next couple of days, at least. Oh well.

Hey, Sephiroth? Have you ever gotten so excited to eat some tasty thing that you bit into it a little too soon? In my world, it's a fairly common thing to burn your tongue on hot pizza and the like, but anything will do it if it's too hot. What sorts of foods do you get so excited over that it's difficult to wait until it's cool enough to eat?

When I came back home, I worked more on the music box. I tried putting together an un-transposed version of the song onto the digital music box paper, and actually, I like this one a little better than the transposed version, so tomorrow, when my brain is less fried, this will be the version of it that I stick back into LMMS.

It rained a lot today. It is a warm, heavy, and very lovely sort of rain. The air smells wonderful for it, and I wish that I could sit with you in an enclosed porch, listening to it and breathing in the smell while holding mugs of hot tea. I can't do that though, so instead I got a couple of short videos for you:

Sephiroth, do you like the sound and the smell of the rain? If it's a warm rain, do you like the way it feels on your hair and skin? I like the rain, as long as I don't have to be in it when it's cold. Today I wanted to go dance in it, but instead I had to buckle down and focus because I really wanna get this music box done...

At some point, J and I went over to Br's house. As you might expect, I worked more on the music box. Br made burgers and shared them with us! She also made a fruit cobbler out of oatmeal:

It was absolutely delectable! But since I burned my tongue this morning, the acids in the fruit irritated it a lot. That's okay though; I ate it anyway, and it was so good!

The flowers that Br planted are in bloom. I took a couple of pictures of them while it was raining; I thought the sparkly water drops on the leaves were very pretty:

...I am back home now. And golly, I'm very tired. Still, I wanted to write to you about this very ordinary day I've had. I know you said you wanted a normal life, and... after a long struggle, I finally have one, so I wanted to show you what it's like.

Sephiroth, you can have a normal, ordinary life if you make choices that are consistent with a normal, ordinary life. I'm trying to show you how to make those choices. I come from abuse and suffering, but still, I can love the rain, and I can love the flowers, and I can love the people around me, and I can love you enough to create another music box. I can eat tasty things and get overexcited, fail to delay gratification, deal with an annoying problem as a result. It's an ordinary life full of ordinary things and spectacularly beautiful things, and everything in between.

You can have it. All you have to do is walk towards it. I'll be waiting for you when you do.

Hey, Sephiroth? I'm gonna stop writing and go to bed now. My body is very tired from being on my feet for a long time, and my mind is tired from putting black dots on a white background with crisscrossing lines and note labels.

I hope... someday... maybe... you can tell me what things are like for you, over there where you are. I know it's impossible, but... still, I'll hope for it. Why not.

I love you. Please stay safe out there in the world. I'll write again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

[acefms]

MEET ADDISON !

if you’re hearing DANCING QUEEN by ABBA playing, you have to know ADDISON GAGLIARDI (SHE/HER; CIS FEMALE) is near by! the 26 year old SINGER/SONGWRITER has been in denver for, like, 6 YEARS (on/off). they’re known to be quite FANCIFUL, but being AMBITIOUS seems to balance that out. or maybe it’s the fact that they resemble MADELAINE PETSCH. personally, i’d love to know more about them seeing as how they’ve got those SCRIBBLING DOWN LYRICS ON ANYTHING SHE CAN FIND, DANCING ON TABLES, ECHOING LAUGHTER, FALLING IN AND OUT OF LOVE TOO QUICKLY, SMILE AS BRIGHT AS THE SUN, FOREVER CHASING A DREAM vibes. and maybe i’ll get my chance if i hang out around the RINO DISTRICT long enough!

NAME: addison ‘addie’ gagliardi

AGE: twenty-six

HOMETOWN: memphis, tennessee

BIRTHDAY: july 1st

ZODIAC: cancer

GENDER: female she/her

SEXUALITY: bicurious

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single. this week, at least.

OCCUPATION: singer/songwriter barista when money is low

[ tw: none? for once. who am I ? .]

• Addison grew up with a single mother, Bianca, and the two were as close as could be. Of course, Addison spent many nights wondering about her father and there was always a sense of missing out, but it was hard to miss someone you never truly had. And her mother was more than enough. Supportive of every dream, big or small.

• And dreams she had, always, from a very young age. They ranged from normal to downright outrageous, but the one that always stuck was to be a singer. Addison was practically singing before she even spoke. Always ready to put in a musical performance at the drop of a hat no matter the time or place.

• Addison was somewhat popular in high school but she was often made fun of for having such big aspirations. However, she never let anyone bring her down. And it was in her late teens that she really started to keep her mother on her toes, between first crushes and sneaking out with the latest cowboy who made her heart flutter. But she always found herself so easily bored and I’m search of something new.

• Despite staying in one place for the majority of her life. Addison was always struck with wanderlust, and so after she and her mother moved to Denver six years ago, Addison would often pack a bag and take off on a whim, exploring as much of the world as she could and learning new ways of life/finding muse for the songs that she writes.

HEADCANNONS

• If she doesn’t tell you what she’s thinking, her face will most certainly tell you. She is very expressive and doesn’t hold much back. Best to be honest, right ?

• Is super good at impressions. Like so good !

• Song lyrics written on anything and everything ? Yes. On her skin, on napkins, on your muses belongings ? Like I’m so sorry but I couldn’t let it go out of my head without writing it down.

• Her music style is very country/pop ! She can play both guitar and piano very well.

• worked at the green thumb cafe until about a year ago when the music thing took off a little bit. didn’t do a whole lot of serving tbh, her heads too far in the clouds.

• says honey way too much, does not mean it to be condescending at all. she also lives by the Dolly Parton quote “if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.”

• a natural flirt, she doesn’t even mean it half the time, and will be confused at when someone thinks she’s coming onto them.

• sunshine and a wild child rolled into one. forever chasing a thrill/dream. just wants to live an exciting life tbh.

• peach flavoured things are her absolute fave. peach ring gummies, peach tea, peach cobbler, peach popsicles. all the peach. also owns multiple articles of clothing with peaches on them.

• she owns way too many cowboy hats/boots. you can take the girl out of Tennessee but you can’t take the Tennessee out of the girl.

more tba.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

Best friend - Either from childhood or from when she moved to Denver. Someone who indulges all of her dreams and vice versa. They have so much fun together ! A lot of laughter but sometimes they make room for a few tears.

Ex boyfriend - Chaotic, probably. Very on/off whirlwind of emotions type thing. The main muse behind all of her greatest breakup/gooey songs. We’re not good for one another but there might just always be a pull/chance type vibe.

You annoy me but I think I also kind of like it — we butt heads constantly but I maybe also think about kissing you sometimes kind of thing please and thank you. Challenge her please, she loves it really.

First f/f experience - truly an awakening. she still very much loves the boys, but girls ? girls are amazing too.

anything, everything.

[thinkatoryprocess]

Okay and idea for an eventual Ruby Chambers interaction with the Gemstones after they find out Ruby’s parents are “old as fuck”. Judy: Well then it’s not that sad right, if he dies? I’d he’s super old.

Ruby: Your dad’s pretty old. Want me to shoot him in the head in front of you. See if you cry?

Judy: Holy fucking fuck.

Jesse:…..(laughing): Man I like your girlfriend Gideon. Come on let’s get something to eat.

Gideon: She’s not really my…I mean we just met earlier today. It’s too soon for labels…

Judy: She is a psychopath! She just threatened to shoot Daddy in the head!

Jesse: Okay now be fair that was really more of a hypothetical that you pushed her into. Saying she wouldn’t be sad about her daddy dying just cuz he’s old. That’s some cold shit sis. Plus you threaten to shoot people in the head all the time. You put a gun to Kelvin’s temple the other day for eating the last of the cobbler.

Judy: A) I called dibs and B) it wasn’t loaded so who gives a shit.

Amber: I’m just gonna go inside if anyone wants to join me. Honey imma let you and Judy finish up this little…let’s call it a discussion. Ruby it’s a pleasure to meet you but maybe leave the murder threats out her and not bring them inside to Sunday lunch.

Ruby: Yes ma’am. Sorry ma’am. (Gideon and Ruby head inside).

Jesse: Look at her calling you ma’am. Someone was raised with manners not like Pontius’ bitch ex.

Amber: Yeah she seems real sweet and gotta say I love that hair.

Judy: You’re only saying that cause your hair’s red you narcissist!

Jesse (fully ignoring Judy): Yeah we gotta help him lock this down. I love that boy but he’s got no game. His last ex fucking blackmailed us and left us tied up overnight. What was his name again? Scooter?

Amber: Skeeter I think.

Jesse: Either way he sucked balls and I’m glad he’s dead. Ruby is a definite step up. And I’m not just saying that because she’s a woman. If she were a beautiful red headed man putting Judy in her place I would feel the same.

BJ: Well we can’t assume Ruby identifies as a woman. They could be male identified or non binary.

Jesse: Okay I have had to piss for like twenty minutes now. I’m going inside.

No notes just LMAO, everyone intrigued by this arc should see this.

[sevenciircles]

Earlier Than Expected

Millie was five years old and she was ready for her first ever Wrath Wrangle!

She had awoken that day with the sun, having gone to bed early at her parent's insistence. It was a big day today, it was her first time being able to compete in the Wrath Wrangle! She had watched it for years, leaning forward on the stands and cheering for her favorites, and now she'd get to participate with the big kids!

Well, she'd be in the 5-10 year old age bracket, but she was still a big kid! She'd been practicing for months now, and Millie was fully confident she was ready! She had all her moves perfected, and she had trained with her Daddy to be the toughest, roughest imp she could! She had to make not only her parents proud, but her siblings too! She would be the first to participate in a Wrath Wrangle, and the young imp knew that she could do something memorable.

She had flitted around that morning, barely paying attention to her parents as she zoomed around the house. She had so much energy! Of course she did! This was the Wrath Wrangle! Imps came from all over the Ring to their section of Wrath for a big fighting tournament! And there were all sorts of game booths and food too! She loved this festival almost as much as the Harvest Jamboree, but she had to be 18 to participate in those events. She would all old by then!

Millie was talking a mile a minute as her Mama brushed and braided her hair, rambling on about this and that and how she would wipe the floor with everyone!

She only stopped when her Daddy walked in and kneeled in front of her. Her shining eyes laid on him, a proud grin on her face.

"Daddy, Daddy! Today I'm gonna bring home that medal! When I win, can we have peach cobbler? OOOO! Or chocolate cake? I'm gonna punch, kick, and tackle the others like- HI-YA!" Millie mimed a punch, causing her Mama to let go of her hair and pull the excitable imp back.

Millie hissed in pain, but quickly got over it. Nothing could bring her down!

"Now pumpkin, I know you're excited, but you gotta be realistic! I think you'll kick some ass for sure, but baby girl your young. You're gonna be up against the real big kids, it's okay if you don't last a round or two. The important thing is that your tryin' Mildred." He said, chuckling and clapping Millie on the back.

She frowned briefly, crossing her arms.

"But I WILL win Daddy! I'm the baddest bitch in the Ring!" Millie cheered, and her Mama delivered a quick smack to her with the flat end of her brush.

"Language, young lady! Remember what I said?" Her Mama scolded, and Millie rolled her eyes.

"Only outside and out of earshot. What you don't know won't hurt ya." Millie recited, feeling her Mama finish the braid.

"And there! My little angel of doom is all ready to go!" Her Mama cooed, and Millie felt the braid. She hugged her Mama tightly, or as tightly as she could, and giggled.

"Thanks Ma!" Millie then turned to her Dad.

"I know where the med tent is, and I know how to take a hit! I'm gonna be golden! Now can we goooooooo already! My event starts in 30!" Millie begged, and her Dad sighed fondly before nodding.

Millie yelled in excitement, going around the couch to the cribs and beds and kissing her siblings and wishing them goodbye. The Wrath Wrangle Festival was only about ten minutes up the road by truck, but she acted like she was leaving them forever.

"Come on, come on, come on, let's gooooooo!" Millie grabbed her Dad's hand, dragging him out the door. Unaware he was letting himself be dragged, she smiled. Boy she was strong!

The ride to the festival was filled with chatter, mainly from Millie as she told him all about what she was going to do. Her Daddy would chime in here or there, remind her of some safety rules, and laugh at his daughter's spirit.

Finally, at long last, they arrived at the site of the festival. Millie hopped out of the truck as soon as it was parked on a random patch of dirt, and ran forward before finding herself being scooped up by her Dad.

Millie didn't mind, and her head was on a swivel as she looked around. There were tons of booths, games, and prizes! And as she craned her neck over the heads of the crowd, she could see the muddy ring where the Wrath Wrangle would take place.

Her Daddy finally let her go, allowing her to run off ahead while he went to sign her in.

Millie zoomed in and out of the crowd, eager and ready to get into that ring! She was so excited, this was gonna be great, she couldn't wait-

OOMPH!

Millie collided with something and she fell over on her butt. It shocked her more than hurt her, but she recovered quickly and opened her eyes to see an imp around her age with white hair and six white freckles.

He stared at her, nervous, so Millie gave a big smile and brushed herself off. She stood up, offering a hand to the boy.

"Sorry about that! I'm just so excited! It's the Wrath Wrangle after all, and I'm participatin'!" Millie said proudly, as the boy stared at her for a second longer before hesitantly taking her hand and helping her pull him up.

Right away, Millie dedicated a lack of roughness on his hands. No callouses. Either he wore gloves all the time or he didn't work, Millie observed.

"That's cool..." The boy said, in a low voice. Still, he was smiling. And Millie could tell he was excited.

"Right? My name's Mildred! But the only people who call me that are my Mama and Daddy." Millie introduced, letting got of his hand.

"I'm..." The boy hesitated. "My Dad said not to tell my name to strangers." He said, fidgeting with his tail.

Millie cocked her head, confused. That was weird, but she didn't think more about it.

"Okay! Are you playin' in the Wrangle? Where are ya from? I ain't never seen you around at any other things." Millie asked curiously, surely she would have remembered the soft spoken boy.

"I'm actually not from here. Well, I am. I was born here, but I live in Greed. My mommy is though, we go on vacation to Wrath every so often." The boy said, becoming slightly more cheerful when talking about his Mama.

Millie's eyes widened in shock, her smile stretching.

"Your from another ring? That's so cool! What's it like? I've only ever been here!" Millie asked, getting closer to the boy as he flushed. That was funny, it wasn't hot out!

"Um..."

Millie then noticed something out of place among the reds and tans of Wrath. Green. Green and blue. She looked behind him and saw for the first time two muscular shark demons, watching them.

Her eyes narrowed, looking to the boy.

"There's these two men followin' you! My Daddy will know how to take care of them. He's the strongest ever!" Millie said, trying to reassure the boy.

However, he only cracked a smile and giggled.

"Those are my friends!" The boy replied, and Millie relaxed. "Dad has them follow me to keep me safe." He said it like it was obvious.

That made sense! They must be even shyer than the boy to not participate. He must be so cool, making friends with adults!

"Oh! Well-" She then heard an announcement blaring over a grainy loudspeaker. It was time for her event!

Millie's eyes widened, and she turned to the boy grinning in anticipation.

"It's time! It's time! It's time!" She yelled, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the ring as he yelped.

Millie forgot she was dragging the poor boy along until she dropped his hand, turning back around.

"I have to go now! I'll be back after I win this thing! Meet me here! Are you gonna watch in the stands?" Millie asked hurriedly, seeing her competition hop over the fence and go to the center.

The boy nodded, and shyly looked towards the stands. Millie's eyes followed, and noticed a large crowd of shark demons surrounding a couple of imps. One was smoking a cigar with weird green smoke, and the other was waving to the boy.

That must be his family!

"Good luck, Millie!" The boy said, giving her a smile before running off.

Millie watched him run for a second, before climbing over the fence and hopping down into the mud. It was nice to meet him, but Millie had to focus now!

She ran to the center of the ring, noticing a lot of the competition was taller and bigger than her. She puffed up her chest and stood taller to make herself look bigger, but it did little difference.

The announcer looked them all over, and she noticed his eyes seemed to linger on her a little longer before he moved on.

"I'm gonna go over the rules one more time. You'll fight one on one in rounds, and the winner advances. The two winners will fight in the final round. Names will be called randomly. There's no weapons, and try to avoid breaking major bones. A small penalty will be deducted otherwise."

Millie had studied these rules, she had listened to them for years. She had trained for them.

"Alright, everyone face the crowd now."

Millie turned around, facing the crowd who began cheering and hollering.

She caught her Daddy in the crowd, hooting and yelling with the rest of them. Millie waved at him, but also turned slightly to the only section not yelling. The shark demons.

They looked cautious, and the male imp looked bored. The woman looked nicer, clapping happily and the boy sat on her lap, clapping too.

"Welcome y'all to the Wrath Wrangle Festival! For our first event, we have the little tykes' rumble! Let's give a shout to our lil upstarts!"

It went agonizingly slow after that.

She had watched two fights, sitting on the bench with the other kids as they awaited their turn. The fighting was vicious, it was dirty, it was tough. Millie couldn't wait!

Eventually, the loser was dragged out and the winner went to get water.

"For our next matchup, Danny Craw and Millie Mason!" The announcer yelled, and Millie hopped up along with a kid who looked about nine or so. He had some bulk on him, but was taller.

She wasn't worried.

As she got into position, she looked into his eyes and grinned.

He was going down.

Millie ended up beating Danny.

And everyone else.

As each fight of hers continued, the crowd grew louder and louder whenever she was announced. She felt so happy, and every time she looked at her Daddy he seemed so proud! She was going to have peach cobbler tonight for sure!

"For our first semi-final match, let's have our surprising little firecracker Millie Mason and our returning champ, Jenna Hales!" The announcer boomed, and Millie stood up.

She had been injured during the tournament, of course.

She was bruised and beaten, her leg felt funny and her side hurt. She was slightly dizzy, but Millie knew that even if she wasn't in perfect shape, victory was hers! She had beaten everyone else, returning champion or not, Jenna would be a piece of cake!

The bell dinged.

Millie didn't exactly remember what happened next, but after feeling a few punches and doling out some of her own she heard screams from the crowd and the world went black.

Millie woke up, a throbbing pulse coming from her skull. She winced, trying to open her eyes before closing them again.

She could feel tears leaking out of her eyes. She hadn't ever been in this much pain!

Her arm felt like it was split in too, her face ached, and it hurt with every breath she took.

"Now now, take your time pumpkin. You took a beatin' out there." Came the voice of her Daddy, and Millie felt the tears roll out more steadily as she sniffed.

Finally opening her eyes, she saw her Daddy there. She realized she was laying on a cot, her arm and leg were wrapped up. She had ice on her eye and a cloth was being held to her lip.

Every second she was awake, it hurt more. Her bottom lip quivered, and she cried openly. That only made her side hurt more, which made her cry more. It was an ugly circle.

"Da-daddy! It hurtssssss!" Millie wailed, and she could feel him holding her hand. She wanted a hug, but she knew that it would hurt more.

"Shhh, I know baby girl, I know. They're bringin' in some medicine and a more professional doc. Normally they don't do that, but for you kid, they are. You really made everyone impressed." Her Daddy said, a smile on his face.

Millie's lip wobbled, she hadn't even considered that she had lost.

"So... so I didn't win? Aren't you sad?" Millie asked, feeling on the verge of sobbing again when her Dad began gently stroking her head.

"Pumpkin, I couldn't be prouder of you. All those folks out there felt the same. No one has ever seen a kid your size and age make it so far before."

Millie found that she didn't care about everyone else.

All that mattered was that her Daddy was proud of her.

Through the tears, she tried to smile.

It would all be okay, if her Daddy was proud of her.

Still, the pain was overwhelming and she felt herself gasping, tears coming out of her eyes again.

"I'm gonna go track down that doctor, or at least see if we can get some medicine. Those fuckin' bastards takin' too long..." Her Daddy grumbled, leaving the tent.

She was alone for the moment.

Millie tried to hold back her cries, but the tears just kept coming.

She closed her eyes, trying to take deep breaths, only to realize that hurt even more.

And then she heard footsteps.

Millie cracked an eye open, thinking it was her Dad with either the doctor or the medicine, but it wasn't either of those things.

It was the boy she had met earlier.

He stood with his hands behind his back, fidgeting.

"I-I know your probably in pain." The boy said, stepping closer.

Millie could have let out a laugh if she felt better.

"So I'll try to be fast. But you were really brave. Like a story book I read! Your super strong, I wish I was." The boy looked down again, before revealing what was behind his back.

A single red rose.

"I asked my mommy if we could get it. She said that it'd make you feel better. Does it make you feel better?" The boy asked, and Millie opened both of her eyes to see the other imp looking at her with hope.

And while her pain didn't lessen, as she carefully took the rose from his hands and smelled it, she did feel better.

Millie mustered a smile, a weak and watery one, but a smile.

"I do feel better, thanks!" Millie said as cheerfully as she could, but it came out as more of a grimace. "And hey, if you're ever in Wrath again, let's play! You can tell me about Greed and I can teach you about fighting."

That took a lot out of the little girl, and she found herself holding back tears stronger than ever.

"Okay! I wanna play with you. When you're better." The boy said, and he paused. He looked like he was about to say something else, but Millie heard a faint call that sounded a lot like 'rocks', and the boy jumped.

"I have to go, goodbye!" The boy scurried out of the tent with one final wave.

Millie stared at his retreating form as she held the rose to her chest. She felt her eyelids drooping, what little energy she had spent.

What an odd imp...

When Joe came into see his daughter with the better doctor, the first aid attendant, and a bunch of medicine he was sure he'd be working off for a while, he saw his little baby girl looking pale as a sheet on the cot.

But the bright red rose stood out.

Joe wondered if he should be worried, but then dismissed it. His little pumpkin spice had a fan, he was sure it wasn't anything to be concerned about.

[meanwhileinstasiville]

My life now is a little bit like the old days of telephone service; everything that I do, metaphorically, with regard to sustainance is like a collect call that's long distance. All the costs going into it seem covered from somewhere but also with no service in sight anywhere down the road.

This is for my grandpa who lived his whole life as an act of charity (seriously, could have attained diamond body; took a shower and hair being an impurity, all fell out at once). I'll never get there but here goes.

Renting is how you get out of feast or famine living; anything you'd be doing with disposable income whether it's fun, sexy stuff, so-called retail therapy, hold off on it. Spend every single penny that you can, overpaying your rent. Rent increases feel like they're broad siding you? You're doing it wrong. When you're about six months or so out ahead of the rent, start buffering on something else. Buy your own insurance. Pay down your student loans. Renegotiate a car payment to a higher monthly on a shorter term. System's set up that way. Even "redlining" can't get at you if you're close to your means. Credit doesn't factor into it because you by all accounts shouldn't even be thinking about that yet.

What you will find (cobbler's children have no shoes since I sleep outside) is that lump sum down payments you can now carefully make within reason, those six months expenses that you have socked (buffering) away, translates into a for-the-sake-of-argument car payment that's fifty bucks per month or something.

My grandpa was everything from "wind your reels by hand because fish know (that you don't respect them)"

To "piss and vinegar" (my tools are rusted, what do you do about that? "Stinks. Take better care of your tools"

How to file tumblers down in a lock to defeat a government trained locksmith.

Listened to religious music that was like three hundred years old. ("Sounds like they really believe in sumpin") Dad's not religious! Either of my aunts would say. And that's true because his whole life was charity and left no damage nor permanent marks. No heroism. No praise. No accolades. Come in and go out with nothing. Absolutely nothing to show for your life. He didn't get to english until he was on his third language, dropped out of school in elementary school to help feed the family; he could solve those "nobody will ever guess this" old time puzzles with a stern look and "no, it's *this*!" And he was right.

"Gotta know what's goin on fore you can fix it"

"Dad said..." neither of my aunts could ever make sense of what he was saying (think grandpa sam reaches in thunderheart). Nothing my dad could do was ever good enough; wasn't the quality, was what his motivation was.

(And this financial advice isn't from grandpa; it's from my mom's history as basically a federal accountant; she had a house when she was twenty or something and paid for a muscle car with cash, system is set up to work a certain way that you can get things done *with a bare minimum of self discipline*)

She only really wanted to sew; didn't care what it was or who it was for and grandpa thought the world of that (and her).

[hippolotamus]

Gotta go with my man Eddie’s favourite -> peach cobbler

Oh annnnnd … lap 👀

Oh, Daffi, I cannot imagine where I might find such words! 😅 oh wait, yes I can! Both can be found in watch my shattered edges glisten 🪩

Eddie’s beloved peach cobbler 🍑

Now he can drive to Athena’s and ignore Bobby’s curious looks while he stress eats his weekly peach cobbler.

Lap

He guesses that’s the intended effect, meant to keep him from realizing that six-foot-something of dirty blond hair and blue eyes and pure fucking sex on legs was about to drop into his lap, straddling his thighs.

[getthebutters]

The Best Lube For Anal (2023)

Let’s face it, finding the perfect lube for anal is… difficult. Well at least it was until you came here! Cause I’m gonna give you a run down all your options and tell you which one is gonna make back door entry as fun as humanly possible.

Let’s start with your options:

Water-Based like Astroglide. Safe with all condom and sex toy materials. Duration rated 5/10. Which speaks for itself. Slickness 8/10, which is why people still use it.

Silicone-based like Sliquid or Gun Oil. Safe with all condom materials and most sex toy materials. Some blends of silicone can react with silicone toys. Duration rated 10/10. Slickness rated 6/10. Which is why I hate it.

Oil-based like Palm Grease. Safe with condom materials and most body safe materials. Works with: Silicone, glass, wood, ceramic, leather, PVC, sil-a-gel, lamb skin, polyurethane. Duration rated 9/10. Slickness 9/10

Hybrid Based like The Butters: Lube Aloe X Shea Duration rated 10/10. Slickness 10/10

Now after listening to that, you probably think the answer is clear. But, if that was true, we could wrap things up here! How boring, our lube is the best, go buy it. Boo. Tomato, tomato, tomato.

The whole truth is that depending on your circumstances, any of them could be the best. Like I hate most water based and all silicone lubes currently. But if I just gotta make some peach cobbler and all I got is silicone. Welp, pass on over here. Obviously, you’re not always gonna be desperate, though. So, when you have all options, what’s truly the best? Well that still depends.

Are you using latex condoms. If so, grab you some water-based lube. There’s no better option for your butt when using a latex condom. If not then, let’s get the Oil-BASED or OIL-WATER HYBRID AND GET FUCKING!

Years back, when I was just a sex blogger, I was asked what’s the best lube for anal. Even back then, I championed Boy Butter (water/oil based) as the worthiest choice. Since then, things have changed dramatically. The once formidable king of the hill has been supplanted by a pair of all natural, 100% vegan, long-lasting, pH balancing, wonder twins: The Butters Lube Aloe X Shea & Palm Grease!

Yes, I make The Butters and that means I’m incredibly biased. Still, it was after 7 years testing lubes professionally, I decided to make something better for a couple reasons: silicone isn’t slippery enough, water-based always dry out. They’re both expensive and you have to use a lot. Plus, even though I did enjoy non-Butters oil-based lubes the best, every single one had a bunch of emulsifiers and water in them. So, they’re not a lubricating as it could be. Now, 14 years in, not much has changed in the industry – even though we’ve seen many competitors pop up and disappear.

That leaves The Butters: Lube. With its great conductivity, perfect balance of slick versus tactile, tear prevention, tissue softening, extra-long endurance and versatility for even kinkier play!

Those other lubes have some catching up to do. Even still, let me give you some more details about why The Butters is the reigning best in ass.

 Price:

An 8oz tub of The Butters: Lube cost just $29 shipped. That’s 2 months’ worth of daily butt stuff for just $14.50/mo. or $0.48 per pounding. The best anal of your life costs less than standard Netflix. Even if you want the CBD versions, the cost isn’t that much more but you will get access to a world of orgasm inducing benefits. 

Quality:

I’m not super homo-pathic or whatever, but I like to keep things as simple as possible. That’s partially why I got fed up paying the high prices for other lubes. If I’m paying that much, I deserve better quality.

Take Boy Butter for example, theirs is only partly natural and the ingredients are kind of confusing. Let’s compare the first 3 ingredients:

Boy Butter - Partially Hydrogenated Vegetables Oils, Glycerin, Polysorbate 60

The Butters: Lube – Aloe X Shea - Shea Butter, Palm Oil, Coconut Oil

Palm Grease – Palm Oil, Soybean Oil, Grapeseed oil

I think you get the point.

 Endurance:

Boy Butter’s endurance could be a lot better. Now, this isn’t a knock against Boy Butter alone. In fact, almost all lubes don’t last as long as I want them to. That’s why I make sure The Butters will stay slippery through before work quickies and midafternoon marathons. I’ve even got video evidence to prove it.

 Overall Performance:

Endurance isn’t the only goal for lube performance, it should also help you feel more connected with your partner. With its unique collection of oils, The Butters melts just below body temp – meaning it’s creamy texture melts quickly to a thin, tactile yet slippery coating. That coating doesn’t mean you have to worry about an oily or sticky build up because your body can absorb and use every ingredient in The Butters.

 Made for your body:

Being able to absorb The Butters is crucial to it working so well. The ingredients all have unique properties that make them suited for use in lube. Most notably, though, soybean oil’s skin healing, grapeseed’s anti-inflammatory, and shea’s conditioning work together to prevent tears in the anus and heal the ones that do happen quicker. They work by simply making the anal tissue softer, stronger, and more flexible.

Palm Grease, on the other hand, melts above body temp. It has more of a thick, plush, juicy feel. It completely coats your insides for a deliciously buttery butt hole.  Either way, not only will those insides be ready to for action, but they’ll also feel better than ever. Soft, plush, buttery insides are the best. The Butters will help yours stay that way.

 Fisting:

One of my favorite activities, even though I don’t do it nearly often enough. In the past, I’ve resorted to using Crisco to avoid spending a fortune on traditional lubes for fisting fun. It’s definitely a classic. But it’s also goopy, takes forever to melt or wash away. Luckily, The Butters Lube & Palm Grease are thick enough to survive elbow deep fun time. Plus, The Butters blend with your natural lubrication, which will only make things easier and more fun.

 Possible Negatives:

Even though it's really great for anal, it's not so great with latex condoms. Sadly, non-latex condoms are harder to find in stores and some don't like ordering online. It's not too much hassle but it can be it can be a hurdle for many valid reasons.

Luckily, there's a whole wide world of magnum non-latex condoms available at Lucky Bloke including the female/internal condoms I've raved about. They didn't pay me to say/link that, I just like their shop and management from our work in the past. Also, I think you might find a preference for non-latex condoms. The ones I've used always seem to hug my dick a little better.