#I gotta go find a cobbler

[silverspleen]

@arcanacheque F!! F!! 84F I fucked up!!

@mad-rieux I really REALLY need some sort of chaos cosplay next but the pipe dream is a nid fursuit. There's actually a covid surge at work so I'll be masking bc it's likely happening irl too. I keep thinking that maybe I should write "Not Today Nurgle" on it for funsies.

@opttwoodrow Imperial Commissar, am trash and wearing a big scary coat and boots truly does wonders for the self esteem and posture. I have some old professionally done pics from a different con on my blog somewhere I can bring back! I look gently scary because I'm slightly taller than average but I'm usually in high social mode so when people actually talk to me I'm like *high pitched ultra bubbly feminine voice* "Thank you for the compliment~~~ UWU <3 <3 "

Unless you yell some sort of 40k thing at me on the escalator then I'm legally ok to scream THE EMPEROR PROTECTS back at you in a scary voice or nooooo :( if you yell some chaos tomfoolery.

[artistmarchalius]

Cockney Rhyming Slang Phrases Part 2

In a previous post I went into Cockney rhyming slang history and gave some tips on how to use it.

This is the second post in a series where I’ll give you some commonly used Cockney rhyming slang phrases, phrases that I find funny, as well as some phrases that I think would be useful for Spider-Verse fic writers specifically. Part 1 of this series can be found here.

So let’s get started on Part 2!

C-D

China Plate - Mate

E.g. “How are you, me old China?” Or “I’m meeting me old China at the pub later.”

Cobblers Awls - Balls

E.g. “Ooh! Got him right in the cobblers!”

It can also be used to mean “Nonsense”. E.g. “What a load of cobblers!” is another way of saying “What a load of nonsense!”

Cream Crackered - Knackered

E.g. “Sorry mate, I’m creamed!” Or “I’m cream crackered!”

Custard and Jelly - Telly (Television)

E.g. “Shh! I’m watching the custard.”

Daisy Roots - Boots

E.g. “Hang on, I need to put my daisies on!”

Dicky Bird - Word

E.g. “Not a dicky bird, mate.”

Another example of where you usually use the whole phrase. Also, “word” can also mean “a brief chat”. E.g. “Can I have a dicky bird?”

Dog and Bone - Phone

E.g. “You know what, give me a call on the old dog and bone and we’ll sort it out then.”

Duck and Dive - Skive

E.g. “Let’s duck!” Or “I gotta duck.”

Skive means to avoid work, usually by leaving early, similar to what Americans might call “playing hooky”.

Dustbin Lid - Kid

E.g. “How’s the dustbin lid?”

As mentioned in Part 1, it’s good to keep in mind that there can be multiple Cockney rhyming slang phrases for the same word, as well as multiple Cockney rhyming slang phrases that start with the same word. For more information, see Part 1.

As always, I’m not an expert; a true Cockney would know far more than I do. I just want to share the knowledge that I have. I hope someone will find this helpful, informative, or entertaining at the very least.

I’ve got more Cockney rhyming slang phrases coming, but if there’s any other areas of British slang you’d like me to go into, let me know and I’ll see what I can do!

Happy writing and happy speaking!

My other British slang posts: Cockney Rhyming Slang, Cockney Rhyming Slang Phrases Part 1, British Police Slang, Terms of Endearment, Innit VS In’t - a PSA

[hippolotamus]

🪩🪩☀️☀️

I know you can do 20 sentences, my love, you've got this!

As you wish, Sir

🪩 - Mirrorball || prev snippet || master list

The stinging bite of jealousy settles in Eddie’s chest, curling up like a wild creature behind his ribs. He only hates himself a little for it. Honestly, he shouldn’t even be thinking about who else gets to see Arsen’s* body. Who might call him over for a lap dance or to a private room. Eddie saw what he came for and got his fix. Now he can drive to Athena’s and ignore Bobby’s curious looks while he stress eats his now weekly peach cobbler. He begins pushing his chair away from the table when a familiar voice stops him. “Leaving already, handsome? Here I thought we could play a little longer.” Time feels almost suspended, syrupy and slow as Eddie turns towards the sound. He finds himself eye level with a sparse thatch of hair peeking out from an electric blue waistband. His gaze travels up, up, up to an equally brilliant blue.

*if you're new here Arsen = Buck's stage name

☀️ - Weather and Time || prev snippet || master list

That night, after Where the Wild Things Are, The Giving Tree, one too many Five-Minute stories, a cup of water (and a trip to the bathroom), Christopher finally agrees to sleep. Or at least to Eddie kissing him goodnight and leaving the room. He flicks on the planet themed night light before softly closing the door behind him.   His body begs him to stay in the hallway and sag against the wall. To slowly slide to the floor, rest his elbows on his knees and hold his head in his hands. But there’s perfectly chilled beer in the fridge and a Rangers game that should just be starting.  He sprawls on the sofa, one hand cradling the back of his head while the other holds his drink. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” he mutters as soon as the game coverage starts and he remembers the Rangers are playing the Arizona Diamondbacks tonight. Because of course they are. Why would it possibly be any other team?

also going to use this as my mumbledy sentences Sunday/Last Line Tag

tagged by @loveyouanyway @missmagooglie @actuallyitsellie @jesuisici33 @tizniz

@thekristen999 @lemonzestywrites @elvensorceress @daffi-990 @loserdiaz

@spotsandsocks @wikiangela @diazsdimples @bidisasterevankinard

@shipperqueen6 (tagging y'all back for next time)

it's late so np tagging for the next tag day @stereopticons @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @filet-o-feelings @queerbuckleys

@bi-buckrights @chaosandwolves @epicbuddieficrecs @eowon @fortheloveofbuddie

@bucksbiawakening @giddyupbuck @saybiwithme @honestlydarkprincess @hoodie-buck

@indestructibleheart @ladydorian05 @monsterrae1 @spaceprincessem @statueinthestone

@steadfastsaturnsrings @the-likesofus @theotherbuckley @theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming @thewolvesof1998

@watchyourbuck @weewootruck @wildlife4life @your-catfish-friend @underwaterninja13

@kitteneddiediaz and anyone else who wants to 😘

[ebonyslasher]

What’s going on Sis! I have a little request!

Female Slashers Being Invited to their black! S/O family Cookout!

Please? For the culture! And thank you ❤️

Hey sis! I'll definitely do that for you and the culture 💕

Female slashers being invited to their black!S/O's family cookout:

Although there's a bunch of human food, and she can't eat any blood: it smells delicious. She'll nibble on some before she hits her limit. Too much human food can make her barf. And she doesn't want to be disrespectful.

Plus the food was DIVINE. Oh, that sweet red velvet and that mac and cheese~. Now y'all know white people love some cheese!

Might want to watch your hornier cousins around her. Can't have them going missing.....

Will she dance? Sure. It won't be on beat sometimes but she looks great doing it!

Most of the family likes her, except a few. Your conservative aunties/grandma turn up their nose at the way she dresses and parades around. You tell her not to mind them.

She's pretty chill, although the temptation of eating your horny ass cousins is high. Y'all might have to leave a little early.

Oh wait, a smoke break? Excuse me, a trip to the corner store. Yeah let's go and get some snacks rq

Very excited to meet your extended family.

Overwhelmed by 2 things: either or both by A. how big your family is or B. how outgoing they are.

Thankfully, they figure out fast that she is shy. So most back off and leave it to just and introduction. A few try to get her out of her shell. "Ay girl, you don't have to be so shy!" "We wont bite ya!"

She thinks they are wonderful and she loves how hospitable they are towards her.

You'll find her either sticking right beside you or by your other very shy cousins hanging out around the house.

Dancing? OH NOOOOOOOOOOOO. Maybe next time?

The food? Delectable. Carrie stares at the desserts very longingly. But, she'll need to wait until she finishes her main food! That's what she was taught. But one problem is...if she makes it there.

"Oh, y/n I'm so sleepy." The itis done got to her.

She goes to find a room but there's a bunch of toddlers drooling on the bed. It's such a cute scene, but not what she needs. She goes to try to find another unoccupied room.

Lady Dimitrescu:

"Dear...why are we going so late? They said it'll start at 2:00 pm."

"Lady D...START isthe key word here. It's a suggestion anyway."

She thinks you want to be fashionably late but nooooo. The food won't be done by then. And most of the family damn sure wont be there. We play on CP time honey.

Y'all get there via her monster transformation, since her big tall ass can't fit in a regular car.

And you did warn her ahead of time that she will get comments about how tall she is. Especially from your one cousin that couldn't keep their mouth shu-

"Damn cuz you aint tell me you gotta AMAZONIAN." Lord here they go. Other than the occasional, "Damn, she big!," Lady D mostly deals with stares the whole time.

And of course that one uncle and cousin dup have to ask, "She give you dat snu snu?," trying to play with you. You try not to laugh but it's a little funny.

Out of respect of your family, she doesn't bludgeon your very thirsty uncle.

The food smells appetizing, but she will have to pass. It'll fuck up her stomach, unless it's a very bloody piece of meat. The desserts are what she can eat. She adores the peach cobbler and the key lime pie.

She tries to dance but she accidentally knocks a few people over with her hips. Oh well!

Dre:

She knows what time it is. They said 1:30 pm? Y'all not going until 3:30.

Scarfs down the food, it's scary. Some of your family are looking at her like she crazy. And she is.

"Damn, the food ain't going nowhere!!"

She knows that!!! But it's just too damn good!

Dancing? Eh, if she's in the mood. If your family has been really nice she might. She will request a Queen Ni'jah song.

Speaking of that, she will be adamant on asking your cousins if they fuck with her. You already told them ahead of time to just say yes.

She hangs out in the corner, strategically placing herself by the food.

She'll play some games, surprisingly good at spades. Her favorite part is slamming the cards on the table. Basically this video.

[streaminn]

Coffee Enid [#4] 👍🥐

Enid was absolutely swamped with helping Yoko at the bakery, the numerous "meetings" they all had together about the business, and continuing to gain funds to pay off the stand. It was stressful owning a business, but Enid enjoyed the trials and successes everytime dhe got to unlock the shop, and prep for the day it was like a soothing routine for her!

She loved it, however, she hoped people wouldn't notice she was slightly late opening the shop.

The day went on with Enid making various cups of coffee and handing out different pastries and sandwiches to her customers, soaking up the smiles and joyful vibes that ran through.

Just when she thanked her sixth customer of the day, she appeared. To which Enid leaned upon the counter smirking.

"Hello, small, dark, and handsome. What can I get you today?"

Wednesday glared that causing the wolf to chuckle.

"Yes, you can. By explaining why you are two hours-thirty-six minutes, and forty seconds late on opening your establishment. You are always punctual, what happened?" The goth stared deep within her soul awaiting an answer.

Enid only leaned back rubbing the back of her neck nervously. "Just things is all."

"Things? Shall I kill things if that meant it would cause a genuine smile on your face?"

"What? How did you- have you been watching me this whole time??"

"That's for me to know, and you to never find out."

Enid stared at the short woman in front of her - a grin forming on her lips. "You're weird as shit."

"The feeling is mutual, now answer my question or I'll find out on my own."

"Okay, Ms. Detective - I'm not talking since you wanna be like that," Enid crossed her arms and turned her head, not noticing the challenging glint in the goth's eyes. "I don't mic business with pleasure."

"So be it."

Enid giggled as she rested her hands on the counter. "Now you answer my previous question."

The goth smirked, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "No. You figure it out."

Enid grinned as she winked at the woman before going into the back to wash her hands, then begin making the woman her order.

A large quad over ice, a BLT sandwhich with spicy mayo, and a new item on the menu; mini black berry cobbler.

Enid placed the order in the bag and handed it to her.

The goth gave a confused glance at her then the register, then back to her directly in her eyes.

"Aren't you gonna give me mt total?"

"Mm, no. Gotta make sure my stalker detective is fed for her investigation."

The goth growled placing her bag lightly on the counter and fished for her wallet.

"No! Don't you dare, take it and leaves."

"Ludicrous, I am paying."

"Take. The. Food."

"No."

"Dammit woman take it!"

"No!"

"If you put that hundred dollar on this counter I will throw you out of here."

"Is that a threat or a promise?"

Enid glared at the woman before walking around the counter and grabbing the woman as if she weighed nothing, gripping her collar and carrying her out of the shop before setting the dazed woman on the ground and returning from inside with her order and her dollar.

"Have a good day kitten!" Enid said waving at the shocked goth while she returned inside her shop.

The wolf laughed as she watched the dumbfounded woman leave with a deathly vengeance.

She was cute. Hopefully, she'll come back again soon.

Omygod, Enid got the backbone to flirt with Wednesday, good for her. Small short and handsome, you bet Wednesday was screaming in her head and it's why she glared

Then Wednesday got scruffed so easily, that's gonna haunt her nightmares for DAYSS

I feel like Enid would pause when she'd realize that she touched a customer. ".. Can I get sued for this?"

[mightymizora]

Answering my own reading questions!

because I can! feel free to do these as asks or just fill them out I'm a nosy bitch.

How many BG3 fics did you subscribe to or bookmark on A03 in 2023?

22 bookmarks and 9 new authors subbed to! There's been so much great stuff out there.

Did you have a favourite canon character to read?

I love a good Gale fic, but actually it's default Durge, if that counts. If not, Gortash.

Do you have a favourite OC of somebody else's that you fell in love with this year?

Oof, a tough one but I've gotta say that I love @mordymord's Labrys and @popiellart's Wormwood like AIR. Both have some similar traits in a lot of ways, being lean, clever demigods, but both are also so distinct. I don't think I've read any other characters like them. There's SO many good Durges but I fell for both of these fic-first.

Which fic that you've read has been the most popular?

Probably @aliquistis' excellent Gale/Tav fic Witch Ways, which has one of my other favourite OCs. Echo is excellent, and the fic is SO well done. No wonder it has 25k hits!

Which fic has been your hidden gem that you think deserves a wider readership?

I can't choose one, so have three: I'm coming around all of your houses with print outs of Intimate Connection by @plethomacademia because it deserves a HUGE readership. I think Concentration (a moment's silence) by @smoreofbabylon (and all of 'smore's fics) are just excellent. And please, read @des-no9 the one who bleeds, it's fucking beautiful.

Was there a fic you read that was completely out of your comfort zone, but you absolutely loved?

Loook I'm not a monsterfucker but. Also! I'd say that Subjugation by @say-lene is not my usual dynamic but I ADORED it. And I loved Voyeur which again was not something I'd ordinarily reach for but I think @rowanisawriter is SUCH a talented writer, I gobble up everything.

Is there a piece of description from a fic that you particularly loved?

this from FIRE WALK WITH ME by @todderwodders

Enver suspects his parents do not fully appreciate that she is a middleman. Her eyes, wine dark as they were, and her fine, perfectly kept curls may be charming, but there is an air of servant that comes clear as she speaks in winding language that seems intent on sewing confusion. No patriar or lord would sit down to a cobbler’s dinner. No patriar or lord would deny themselves a drink, or read paperwork aloud to lay people. This wine dark woman is a warlock, and he roughly knows the vague mechanics of warlocks in the makings of a deal with someone of more importance and as a result benefiting in magic and boons. That she should be as she is makes a kind of sense, then. That interests him, draws him in, even as his mother has that glazed look she always gets when she only half cares to listen to what people say to her. She has counted and recounted coin, measuring and remeasuring where it is all meant to go on her abacus. Sometimes he suspects her mind wanders without permission if she is not kept busy. Often, she comes back to the present sharply, eager to needle endlessly over past slights or gossip, over the current conversation. He wants to explain things to her in a clearer way that she will listen to, to ask questions of this dedicated warlock where she numbly nods along. 

Is there a piece of dialogue from a fic that has stayed with you?

Listen I sometimes find myself doing everyday life things and stopping and thinking about this exchange from The Dark Urge sleeps alone by @popiellart

"You remind me of my sister."

"What's a sister?" Lae'zel demands breathily, and drops her hips down, spearing herself on him without hesitation, drawing a desirous, possessive growl from his draconic muzzle.

His eyes, half-lidded with hunger, have that foggy, far-away look that vexes others, but she doesn't mind.

He is living, yawning death on the battlefield, his scales turning regal crimson whenever he's bathed in blood, and when he violently grips her and slams her down on the crumbling altar, bruising her back and cracking this font of worship to some dusty, dead god with the roaring fire of their living, he is a dragon red enough for her.

"I don't know," he admits, finally. "Something sharp, I think."

What was your overall most read type of fic in 2023? Were there tropes you particularly loved? A pairing that you adored?

Dark as shit Dark Urge fic. GOD the fandom has just taken all of the little strands given by Larian and run with them. The endless invention, expression, interpretation of the fans has been extraordinary. I love you guys. Never change. Keep weird.

What would you like to read in 2024 if you could wave a wand and get exactly what you wanted?

More Jaheira/Halsin. Just ANYTHING I am desperate for more of this.

Something with Wyll/Karlach which is very, very sexy and very queer. Top Karlach! More t4t!

More Gale/Lae'zel that reaaaally leans into her alien qualities honestly. I love this ship and might start writing it.

Filthy, filthy Ketheric stuff. FUCK THAT MAN TO DUST.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #211

I had work today from 9am until 1pm. All things considered, I was fairly well-slept.

One thing I forgot to mention yesterday is that after my adulting and errands, I decided to get myself some prizes. One of the prizes was a neck pillow, to try to make sleep a little less painful. The other one was a sleep mask so that I might be able to nap a little better during the day if I gotta. And I got a unicorn hat for Br. I also got a very pretty bow; I'll show it to you:

...I like it!!! It matches my sweater!!! So I wore it to work today, even though my work outfit is all black. Even the apron is black. But the bow allowed for a visible splash of color. My socks give me a splash of color underneath all the black, but no one can see it because they are in my shoes, and that's kinda sad.

...Wait!!! I forgot!!! I have a camera!!! I can fix that!!! One sec!!!

These are my socks today. No, I don't wear matching socks; I find mismatched ones to be a bit more interesting because then I can have more colors!!!

Hey, Sephiroth? Do you wear colorful socks under all that black? I wonder.

I remembered to drink water and eat food before my work shift (yay!). Today, I made a hotdog for breakfast! I put the sauteed onions, peppers, and mushrooms that I made the other day on it, and then I put on the leftover Frito cheese from that picnic we had with R. And it was an AMAZING hotdog!!! But I got a little too excited after it came out of the microwave, and I bit into it a little too soon, and I ended up burning my tongue. 😭 So that's gonna be very annoying for the next couple of days, at least. Oh well.

Hey, Sephiroth? Have you ever gotten so excited to eat some tasty thing that you bit into it a little too soon? In my world, it's a fairly common thing to burn your tongue on hot pizza and the like, but anything will do it if it's too hot. What sorts of foods do you get so excited over that it's difficult to wait until it's cool enough to eat?

When I came back home, I worked more on the music box. I tried putting together an un-transposed version of the song onto the digital music box paper, and actually, I like this one a little better than the transposed version, so tomorrow, when my brain is less fried, this will be the version of it that I stick back into LMMS.

It rained a lot today. It is a warm, heavy, and very lovely sort of rain. The air smells wonderful for it, and I wish that I could sit with you in an enclosed porch, listening to it and breathing in the smell while holding mugs of hot tea. I can't do that though, so instead I got a couple of short videos for you:

Sephiroth, do you like the sound and the smell of the rain? If it's a warm rain, do you like the way it feels on your hair and skin? I like the rain, as long as I don't have to be in it when it's cold. Today I wanted to go dance in it, but instead I had to buckle down and focus because I really wanna get this music box done...

At some point, J and I went over to Br's house. As you might expect, I worked more on the music box. Br made burgers and shared them with us! She also made a fruit cobbler out of oatmeal:

It was absolutely delectable! But since I burned my tongue this morning, the acids in the fruit irritated it a lot. That's okay though; I ate it anyway, and it was so good!

The flowers that Br planted are in bloom. I took a couple of pictures of them while it was raining; I thought the sparkly water drops on the leaves were very pretty:

...I am back home now. And golly, I'm very tired. Still, I wanted to write to you about this very ordinary day I've had. I know you said you wanted a normal life, and... after a long struggle, I finally have one, so I wanted to show you what it's like.

Sephiroth, you can have a normal, ordinary life if you make choices that are consistent with a normal, ordinary life. I'm trying to show you how to make those choices. I come from abuse and suffering, but still, I can love the rain, and I can love the flowers, and I can love the people around me, and I can love you enough to create another music box. I can eat tasty things and get overexcited, fail to delay gratification, deal with an annoying problem as a result. It's an ordinary life full of ordinary things and spectacularly beautiful things, and everything in between.

You can have it. All you have to do is walk towards it. I'll be waiting for you when you do.

Hey, Sephiroth? I'm gonna stop writing and go to bed now. My body is very tired from being on my feet for a long time, and my mind is tired from putting black dots on a white background with crisscrossing lines and note labels.

I hope... someday... maybe... you can tell me what things are like for you, over there where you are. I know it's impossible, but... still, I'll hope for it. Why not.

I love you. Please stay safe out there in the world. I'll write again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

[acefms]

MEET ADDISON !

if you’re hearing DANCING QUEEN by ABBA playing, you have to know ADDISON GAGLIARDI (SHE/HER; CIS FEMALE) is near by! the 26 year old SINGER/SONGWRITER has been in denver for, like, 6 YEARS (on/off). they’re known to be quite FANCIFUL, but being AMBITIOUS seems to balance that out. or maybe it’s the fact that they resemble MADELAINE PETSCH. personally, i’d love to know more about them seeing as how they’ve got those SCRIBBLING DOWN LYRICS ON ANYTHING SHE CAN FIND, DANCING ON TABLES, ECHOING LAUGHTER, FALLING IN AND OUT OF LOVE TOO QUICKLY, SMILE AS BRIGHT AS THE SUN, FOREVER CHASING A DREAM vibes. and maybe i’ll get my chance if i hang out around the RINO DISTRICT long enough!

NAME: addison ‘addie’ gagliardi

AGE: twenty-six

HOMETOWN: memphis, tennessee

BIRTHDAY: july 1st

ZODIAC: cancer

GENDER: female she/her

SEXUALITY: bicurious

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single. this week, at least.

OCCUPATION: singer/songwriter barista when money is low

[ tw: none? for once. who am I ? .]

• Addison grew up with a single mother, Bianca, and the two were as close as could be. Of course, Addison spent many nights wondering about her father and there was always a sense of missing out, but it was hard to miss someone you never truly had. And her mother was more than enough. Supportive of every dream, big or small.

• And dreams she had, always, from a very young age. They ranged from normal to downright outrageous, but the one that always stuck was to be a singer. Addison was practically singing before she even spoke. Always ready to put in a musical performance at the drop of a hat no matter the time or place.

• Addison was somewhat popular in high school but she was often made fun of for having such big aspirations. However, she never let anyone bring her down. And it was in her late teens that she really started to keep her mother on her toes, between first crushes and sneaking out with the latest cowboy who made her heart flutter. But she always found herself so easily bored and I’m search of something new.

• Despite staying in one place for the majority of her life. Addison was always struck with wanderlust, and so after she and her mother moved to Denver six years ago, Addison would often pack a bag and take off on a whim, exploring as much of the world as she could and learning new ways of life/finding muse for the songs that she writes.

HEADCANNONS

• If she doesn’t tell you what she’s thinking, her face will most certainly tell you. She is very expressive and doesn’t hold much back. Best to be honest, right ?

• Is super good at impressions. Like so good !

• Song lyrics written on anything and everything ? Yes. On her skin, on napkins, on your muses belongings ? Like I’m so sorry but I couldn’t let it go out of my head without writing it down.

• Her music style is very country/pop ! She can play both guitar and piano very well.

• worked at the green thumb cafe until about a year ago when the music thing took off a little bit. didn’t do a whole lot of serving tbh, her heads too far in the clouds.

• says honey way too much, does not mean it to be condescending at all. she also lives by the Dolly Parton quote “if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.”

• a natural flirt, she doesn’t even mean it half the time, and will be confused at when someone thinks she’s coming onto them.

• sunshine and a wild child rolled into one. forever chasing a thrill/dream. just wants to live an exciting life tbh.

• peach flavoured things are her absolute fave. peach ring gummies, peach tea, peach cobbler, peach popsicles. all the peach. also owns multiple articles of clothing with peaches on them.

• she owns way too many cowboy hats/boots. you can take the girl out of Tennessee but you can’t take the Tennessee out of the girl.

more tba.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

Best friend - Either from childhood or from when she moved to Denver. Someone who indulges all of her dreams and vice versa. They have so much fun together ! A lot of laughter but sometimes they make room for a few tears.

Ex boyfriend - Chaotic, probably. Very on/off whirlwind of emotions type thing. The main muse behind all of her greatest breakup/gooey songs. We’re not good for one another but there might just always be a pull/chance type vibe.

You annoy me but I think I also kind of like it — we butt heads constantly but I maybe also think about kissing you sometimes kind of thing please and thank you. Challenge her please, she loves it really.

First f/f experience - truly an awakening. she still very much loves the boys, but girls ? girls are amazing too.

anything, everything.

[thinkatoryprocess]

Okay and idea for an eventual Ruby Chambers interaction with the Gemstones after they find out Ruby’s parents are “old as fuck”. Judy: Well then it’s not that sad right, if he dies? I’d he’s super old.

Ruby: Your dad’s pretty old. Want me to shoot him in the head in front of you. See if you cry?

Judy: Holy fucking fuck.

Jesse:…..(laughing): Man I like your girlfriend Gideon. Come on let’s get something to eat.

Gideon: She’s not really my…I mean we just met earlier today. It’s too soon for labels…

Judy: She is a psychopath! She just threatened to shoot Daddy in the head!

Jesse: Okay now be fair that was really more of a hypothetical that you pushed her into. Saying she wouldn’t be sad about her daddy dying just cuz he’s old. That’s some cold shit sis. Plus you threaten to shoot people in the head all the time. You put a gun to Kelvin’s temple the other day for eating the last of the cobbler.

Judy: A) I called dibs and B) it wasn’t loaded so who gives a shit.

Amber: I’m just gonna go inside if anyone wants to join me. Honey imma let you and Judy finish up this little…let’s call it a discussion. Ruby it’s a pleasure to meet you but maybe leave the murder threats out her and not bring them inside to Sunday lunch.

Ruby: Yes ma’am. Sorry ma’am. (Gideon and Ruby head inside).

Jesse: Look at her calling you ma’am. Someone was raised with manners not like Pontius’ bitch ex.

Amber: Yeah she seems real sweet and gotta say I love that hair.

Judy: You’re only saying that cause your hair’s red you narcissist!

Jesse (fully ignoring Judy): Yeah we gotta help him lock this down. I love that boy but he’s got no game. His last ex fucking blackmailed us and left us tied up overnight. What was his name again? Scooter?

Amber: Skeeter I think.

Jesse: Either way he sucked balls and I’m glad he’s dead. Ruby is a definite step up. And I’m not just saying that because she’s a woman. If she were a beautiful red headed man putting Judy in her place I would feel the same.

BJ: Well we can’t assume Ruby identifies as a woman. They could be male identified or non binary.

Jesse: Okay I have had to piss for like twenty minutes now. I’m going inside.

No notes just LMAO, everyone intrigued by this arc should see this.

[sevenciircles]

Earlier Than Expected

Millie was five years old and she was ready for her first ever Wrath Wrangle!

She had awoken that day with the sun, having gone to bed early at her parent's insistence. It was a big day today, it was her first time being able to compete in the Wrath Wrangle! She had watched it for years, leaning forward on the stands and cheering for her favorites, and now she'd get to participate with the big kids!

Well, she'd be in the 5-10 year old age bracket, but she was still a big kid! She'd been practicing for months now, and Millie was fully confident she was ready! She had all her moves perfected, and she had trained with her Daddy to be the toughest, roughest imp she could! She had to make not only her parents proud, but her siblings too! She would be the first to participate in a Wrath Wrangle, and the young imp knew that she could do something memorable.

She had flitted around that morning, barely paying attention to her parents as she zoomed around the house. She had so much energy! Of course she did! This was the Wrath Wrangle! Imps came from all over the Ring to their section of Wrath for a big fighting tournament! And there were all sorts of game booths and food too! She loved this festival almost as much as the Harvest Jamboree, but she had to be 18 to participate in those events. She would all old by then!

Millie was talking a mile a minute as her Mama brushed and braided her hair, rambling on about this and that and how she would wipe the floor with everyone!

She only stopped when her Daddy walked in and kneeled in front of her. Her shining eyes laid on him, a proud grin on her face.

"Daddy, Daddy! Today I'm gonna bring home that medal! When I win, can we have peach cobbler? OOOO! Or chocolate cake? I'm gonna punch, kick, and tackle the others like- HI-YA!" Millie mimed a punch, causing her Mama to let go of her hair and pull the excitable imp back.

Millie hissed in pain, but quickly got over it. Nothing could bring her down!

"Now pumpkin, I know you're excited, but you gotta be realistic! I think you'll kick some ass for sure, but baby girl your young. You're gonna be up against the real big kids, it's okay if you don't last a round or two. The important thing is that your tryin' Mildred." He said, chuckling and clapping Millie on the back.

She frowned briefly, crossing her arms.

"But I WILL win Daddy! I'm the baddest bitch in the Ring!" Millie cheered, and her Mama delivered a quick smack to her with the flat end of her brush.

"Language, young lady! Remember what I said?" Her Mama scolded, and Millie rolled her eyes.

"Only outside and out of earshot. What you don't know won't hurt ya." Millie recited, feeling her Mama finish the braid.

"And there! My little angel of doom is all ready to go!" Her Mama cooed, and Millie felt the braid. She hugged her Mama tightly, or as tightly as she could, and giggled.

"Thanks Ma!" Millie then turned to her Dad.

"I know where the med tent is, and I know how to take a hit! I'm gonna be golden! Now can we goooooooo already! My event starts in 30!" Millie begged, and her Dad sighed fondly before nodding.

Millie yelled in excitement, going around the couch to the cribs and beds and kissing her siblings and wishing them goodbye. The Wrath Wrangle Festival was only about ten minutes up the road by truck, but she acted like she was leaving them forever.

"Come on, come on, come on, let's gooooooo!" Millie grabbed her Dad's hand, dragging him out the door. Unaware he was letting himself be dragged, she smiled. Boy she was strong!

The ride to the festival was filled with chatter, mainly from Millie as she told him all about what she was going to do. Her Daddy would chime in here or there, remind her of some safety rules, and laugh at his daughter's spirit.

Finally, at long last, they arrived at the site of the festival. Millie hopped out of the truck as soon as it was parked on a random patch of dirt, and ran forward before finding herself being scooped up by her Dad.

Millie didn't mind, and her head was on a swivel as she looked around. There were tons of booths, games, and prizes! And as she craned her neck over the heads of the crowd, she could see the muddy ring where the Wrath Wrangle would take place.

Her Daddy finally let her go, allowing her to run off ahead while he went to sign her in.

Millie zoomed in and out of the crowd, eager and ready to get into that ring! She was so excited, this was gonna be great, she couldn't wait-

OOMPH!

Millie collided with something and she fell over on her butt. It shocked her more than hurt her, but she recovered quickly and opened her eyes to see an imp around her age with white hair and six white freckles.

He stared at her, nervous, so Millie gave a big smile and brushed herself off. She stood up, offering a hand to the boy.

"Sorry about that! I'm just so excited! It's the Wrath Wrangle after all, and I'm participatin'!" Millie said proudly, as the boy stared at her for a second longer before hesitantly taking her hand and helping her pull him up.

Right away, Millie dedicated a lack of roughness on his hands. No callouses. Either he wore gloves all the time or he didn't work, Millie observed.

"That's cool..." The boy said, in a low voice. Still, he was smiling. And Millie could tell he was excited.

"Right? My name's Mildred! But the only people who call me that are my Mama and Daddy." Millie introduced, letting got of his hand.

"I'm..." The boy hesitated. "My Dad said not to tell my name to strangers." He said, fidgeting with his tail.

Millie cocked her head, confused. That was weird, but she didn't think more about it.

"Okay! Are you playin' in the Wrangle? Where are ya from? I ain't never seen you around at any other things." Millie asked curiously, surely she would have remembered the soft spoken boy.

"I'm actually not from here. Well, I am. I was born here, but I live in Greed. My mommy is though, we go on vacation to Wrath every so often." The boy said, becoming slightly more cheerful when talking about his Mama.

Millie's eyes widened in shock, her smile stretching.

"Your from another ring? That's so cool! What's it like? I've only ever been here!" Millie asked, getting closer to the boy as he flushed. That was funny, it wasn't hot out!

"Um..."

Millie then noticed something out of place among the reds and tans of Wrath. Green. Green and blue. She looked behind him and saw for the first time two muscular shark demons, watching them.

Her eyes narrowed, looking to the boy.

"There's these two men followin' you! My Daddy will know how to take care of them. He's the strongest ever!" Millie said, trying to reassure the boy.

However, he only cracked a smile and giggled.

"Those are my friends!" The boy replied, and Millie relaxed. "Dad has them follow me to keep me safe." He said it like it was obvious.

That made sense! They must be even shyer than the boy to not participate. He must be so cool, making friends with adults!

"Oh! Well-" She then heard an announcement blaring over a grainy loudspeaker. It was time for her event!

Millie's eyes widened, and she turned to the boy grinning in anticipation.

"It's time! It's time! It's time!" She yelled, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the ring as he yelped.

Millie forgot she was dragging the poor boy along until she dropped his hand, turning back around.

"I have to go now! I'll be back after I win this thing! Meet me here! Are you gonna watch in the stands?" Millie asked hurriedly, seeing her competition hop over the fence and go to the center.

The boy nodded, and shyly looked towards the stands. Millie's eyes followed, and noticed a large crowd of shark demons surrounding a couple of imps. One was smoking a cigar with weird green smoke, and the other was waving to the boy.

That must be his family!

"Good luck, Millie!" The boy said, giving her a smile before running off.

Millie watched him run for a second, before climbing over the fence and hopping down into the mud. It was nice to meet him, but Millie had to focus now!

She ran to the center of the ring, noticing a lot of the competition was taller and bigger than her. She puffed up her chest and stood taller to make herself look bigger, but it did little difference.

The announcer looked them all over, and she noticed his eyes seemed to linger on her a little longer before he moved on.

"I'm gonna go over the rules one more time. You'll fight one on one in rounds, and the winner advances. The two winners will fight in the final round. Names will be called randomly. There's no weapons, and try to avoid breaking major bones. A small penalty will be deducted otherwise."

Millie had studied these rules, she had listened to them for years. She had trained for them.

"Alright, everyone face the crowd now."

Millie turned around, facing the crowd who began cheering and hollering.

She caught her Daddy in the crowd, hooting and yelling with the rest of them. Millie waved at him, but also turned slightly to the only section not yelling. The shark demons.

They looked cautious, and the male imp looked bored. The woman looked nicer, clapping happily and the boy sat on her lap, clapping too.

"Welcome y'all to the Wrath Wrangle Festival! For our first event, we have the little tykes' rumble! Let's give a shout to our lil upstarts!"

It went agonizingly slow after that.

She had watched two fights, sitting on the bench with the other kids as they awaited their turn. The fighting was vicious, it was dirty, it was tough. Millie couldn't wait!

Eventually, the loser was dragged out and the winner went to get water.

"For our next matchup, Danny Craw and Millie Mason!" The announcer yelled, and Millie hopped up along with a kid who looked about nine or so. He had some bulk on him, but was taller.

She wasn't worried.

As she got into position, she looked into his eyes and grinned.

He was going down.

Millie ended up beating Danny.

And everyone else.

As each fight of hers continued, the crowd grew louder and louder whenever she was announced. She felt so happy, and every time she looked at her Daddy he seemed so proud! She was going to have peach cobbler tonight for sure!

"For our first semi-final match, let's have our surprising little firecracker Millie Mason and our returning champ, Jenna Hales!" The announcer boomed, and Millie stood up.

She had been injured during the tournament, of course.

She was bruised and beaten, her leg felt funny and her side hurt. She was slightly dizzy, but Millie knew that even if she wasn't in perfect shape, victory was hers! She had beaten everyone else, returning champion or not, Jenna would be a piece of cake!

The bell dinged.

Millie didn't exactly remember what happened next, but after feeling a few punches and doling out some of her own she heard screams from the crowd and the world went black.

Millie woke up, a throbbing pulse coming from her skull. She winced, trying to open her eyes before closing them again.

She could feel tears leaking out of her eyes. She hadn't ever been in this much pain!

Her arm felt like it was split in too, her face ached, and it hurt with every breath she took.

"Now now, take your time pumpkin. You took a beatin' out there." Came the voice of her Daddy, and Millie felt the tears roll out more steadily as she sniffed.

Finally opening her eyes, she saw her Daddy there. She realized she was laying on a cot, her arm and leg were wrapped up. She had ice on her eye and a cloth was being held to her lip.

Every second she was awake, it hurt more. Her bottom lip quivered, and she cried openly. That only made her side hurt more, which made her cry more. It was an ugly circle.

"Da-daddy! It hurtssssss!" Millie wailed, and she could feel him holding her hand. She wanted a hug, but she knew that it would hurt more.

"Shhh, I know baby girl, I know. They're bringin' in some medicine and a more professional doc. Normally they don't do that, but for you kid, they are. You really made everyone impressed." Her Daddy said, a smile on his face.

Millie's lip wobbled, she hadn't even considered that she had lost.

"So... so I didn't win? Aren't you sad?" Millie asked, feeling on the verge of sobbing again when her Dad began gently stroking her head.

"Pumpkin, I couldn't be prouder of you. All those folks out there felt the same. No one has ever seen a kid your size and age make it so far before."

Millie found that she didn't care about everyone else.

All that mattered was that her Daddy was proud of her.

Through the tears, she tried to smile.

It would all be okay, if her Daddy was proud of her.

Still, the pain was overwhelming and she felt herself gasping, tears coming out of her eyes again.

"I'm gonna go track down that doctor, or at least see if we can get some medicine. Those fuckin' bastards takin' too long..." Her Daddy grumbled, leaving the tent.

She was alone for the moment.

Millie tried to hold back her cries, but the tears just kept coming.

She closed her eyes, trying to take deep breaths, only to realize that hurt even more.

And then she heard footsteps.

Millie cracked an eye open, thinking it was her Dad with either the doctor or the medicine, but it wasn't either of those things.

It was the boy she had met earlier.

He stood with his hands behind his back, fidgeting.

"I-I know your probably in pain." The boy said, stepping closer.

Millie could have let out a laugh if she felt better.

"So I'll try to be fast. But you were really brave. Like a story book I read! Your super strong, I wish I was." The boy looked down again, before revealing what was behind his back.

A single red rose.

"I asked my mommy if we could get it. She said that it'd make you feel better. Does it make you feel better?" The boy asked, and Millie opened both of her eyes to see the other imp looking at her with hope.

And while her pain didn't lessen, as she carefully took the rose from his hands and smelled it, she did feel better.

Millie mustered a smile, a weak and watery one, but a smile.

"I do feel better, thanks!" Millie said as cheerfully as she could, but it came out as more of a grimace. "And hey, if you're ever in Wrath again, let's play! You can tell me about Greed and I can teach you about fighting."

That took a lot out of the little girl, and she found herself holding back tears stronger than ever.

"Okay! I wanna play with you. When you're better." The boy said, and he paused. He looked like he was about to say something else, but Millie heard a faint call that sounded a lot like 'rocks', and the boy jumped.

"I have to go, goodbye!" The boy scurried out of the tent with one final wave.

Millie stared at his retreating form as she held the rose to her chest. She felt her eyelids drooping, what little energy she had spent.

What an odd imp...

When Joe came into see his daughter with the better doctor, the first aid attendant, and a bunch of medicine he was sure he'd be working off for a while, he saw his little baby girl looking pale as a sheet on the cot.

But the bright red rose stood out.

Joe wondered if he should be worried, but then dismissed it. His little pumpkin spice had a fan, he was sure it wasn't anything to be concerned about.

[getthebutters]

The Best Lube For Anal (2023)

Let’s face it, finding the perfect lube for anal is… difficult. Well at least it was until you came here! Cause I’m gonna give you a run down all your options and tell you which one is gonna make back door entry as fun as humanly possible.

Let’s start with your options:

Water-Based like Astroglide. Safe with all condom and sex toy materials. Duration rated 5/10. Which speaks for itself. Slickness 8/10, which is why people still use it.

Silicone-based like Sliquid or Gun Oil. Safe with all condom materials and most sex toy materials. Some blends of silicone can react with silicone toys. Duration rated 10/10. Slickness rated 6/10. Which is why I hate it.

Oil-based like Palm Grease. Safe with condom materials and most body safe materials. Works with: Silicone, glass, wood, ceramic, leather, PVC, sil-a-gel, lamb skin, polyurethane. Duration rated 9/10. Slickness 9/10

Hybrid Based like The Butters: Lube Aloe X Shea Duration rated 10/10. Slickness 10/10

Now after listening to that, you probably think the answer is clear. But, if that was true, we could wrap things up here! How boring, our lube is the best, go buy it. Boo. Tomato, tomato, tomato.

The whole truth is that depending on your circumstances, any of them could be the best. Like I hate most water based and all silicone lubes currently. But if I just gotta make some peach cobbler and all I got is silicone. Welp, pass on over here. Obviously, you’re not always gonna be desperate, though. So, when you have all options, what’s truly the best? Well that still depends.

Are you using latex condoms. If so, grab you some water-based lube. There’s no better option for your butt when using a latex condom. If not then, let’s get the Oil-BASED or OIL-WATER HYBRID AND GET FUCKING!

Years back, when I was just a sex blogger, I was asked what’s the best lube for anal. Even back then, I championed Boy Butter (water/oil based) as the worthiest choice. Since then, things have changed dramatically. The once formidable king of the hill has been supplanted by a pair of all natural, 100% vegan, long-lasting, pH balancing, wonder twins: The Butters Lube Aloe X Shea & Palm Grease!

Yes, I make The Butters and that means I’m incredibly biased. Still, it was after 7 years testing lubes professionally, I decided to make something better for a couple reasons: silicone isn’t slippery enough, water-based always dry out. They’re both expensive and you have to use a lot. Plus, even though I did enjoy non-Butters oil-based lubes the best, every single one had a bunch of emulsifiers and water in them. So, they’re not a lubricating as it could be. Now, 14 years in, not much has changed in the industry – even though we’ve seen many competitors pop up and disappear.

That leaves The Butters: Lube. With its great conductivity, perfect balance of slick versus tactile, tear prevention, tissue softening, extra-long endurance and versatility for even kinkier play!

Those other lubes have some catching up to do. Even still, let me give you some more details about why The Butters is the reigning best in ass.

 Price:

An 8oz tub of The Butters: Lube cost just $29 shipped. That’s 2 months’ worth of daily butt stuff for just $14.50/mo. or $0.48 per pounding. The best anal of your life costs less than standard Netflix. Even if you want the CBD versions, the cost isn’t that much more but you will get access to a world of orgasm inducing benefits. 

Quality:

I’m not super homo-pathic or whatever, but I like to keep things as simple as possible. That’s partially why I got fed up paying the high prices for other lubes. If I’m paying that much, I deserve better quality.

Take Boy Butter for example, theirs is only partly natural and the ingredients are kind of confusing. Let’s compare the first 3 ingredients:

Boy Butter - Partially Hydrogenated Vegetables Oils, Glycerin, Polysorbate 60

The Butters: Lube – Aloe X Shea - Shea Butter, Palm Oil, Coconut Oil

Palm Grease – Palm Oil, Soybean Oil, Grapeseed oil

I think you get the point.

 Endurance:

Boy Butter’s endurance could be a lot better. Now, this isn’t a knock against Boy Butter alone. In fact, almost all lubes don’t last as long as I want them to. That’s why I make sure The Butters will stay slippery through before work quickies and midafternoon marathons. I’ve even got video evidence to prove it.

 Overall Performance:

Endurance isn’t the only goal for lube performance, it should also help you feel more connected with your partner. With its unique collection of oils, The Butters melts just below body temp – meaning it’s creamy texture melts quickly to a thin, tactile yet slippery coating. That coating doesn’t mean you have to worry about an oily or sticky build up because your body can absorb and use every ingredient in The Butters.

 Made for your body:

Being able to absorb The Butters is crucial to it working so well. The ingredients all have unique properties that make them suited for use in lube. Most notably, though, soybean oil’s skin healing, grapeseed’s anti-inflammatory, and shea’s conditioning work together to prevent tears in the anus and heal the ones that do happen quicker. They work by simply making the anal tissue softer, stronger, and more flexible.

Palm Grease, on the other hand, melts above body temp. It has more of a thick, plush, juicy feel. It completely coats your insides for a deliciously buttery butt hole.  Either way, not only will those insides be ready to for action, but they’ll also feel better than ever. Soft, plush, buttery insides are the best. The Butters will help yours stay that way.

 Fisting:

One of my favorite activities, even though I don’t do it nearly often enough. In the past, I’ve resorted to using Crisco to avoid spending a fortune on traditional lubes for fisting fun. It’s definitely a classic. But it’s also goopy, takes forever to melt or wash away. Luckily, The Butters Lube & Palm Grease are thick enough to survive elbow deep fun time. Plus, The Butters blend with your natural lubrication, which will only make things easier and more fun.

 Possible Negatives:

Even though it's really great for anal, it's not so great with latex condoms. Sadly, non-latex condoms are harder to find in stores and some don't like ordering online. It's not too much hassle but it can be it can be a hurdle for many valid reasons.

Luckily, there's a whole wide world of magnum non-latex condoms available at Lucky Bloke including the female/internal condoms I've raved about. They didn't pay me to say/link that, I just like their shop and management from our work in the past. Also, I think you might find a preference for non-latex condoms. The ones I've used always seem to hug my dick a little better.

[nebulablakemurphy]

Total Eclipse Of The Heart (Part 2)

Jacob Black x Fem!VampireSwan!Reader

Summary: Jacob Black, alpha of his pack, would never fall in love with a bloodsucker, much less imprint on one. The problem is that Y/N Swan was human…until she wasn’t anymore.

Prologue | Part One

“Hey stranger.” Bella greets her sister, in the hallway after biology class.

“Hey,” Y/N bumps her shoulder gently.

Bella rocks forward with the force of it. Rubbing the skin to soothe it, “ow.”

“Sorry.” Y/N apologizes, looking away awkwardly.

“It’s fine um…you must be like super ripped.”

“I think I’m just used to being surrounded by guys,” Y/N tries to talk her away out of it.

“Right,” Bella nods, not sure she’s buying it. “Gotta toughen up I guess.”

“And also check that the toilet seat is down.” Y/N smiles. “I learned the hard way.”

“Thanks for the heads up.” Bella laughs, nearly tripping over her own feet as they continue down the hall. “So um…I was actually hoping I could ask you something.”

“Yeah?”

“I see you hang around the Cullens.”

“They’re very nice.” The Y/H/C chokes out.

Bella shakes her head, “I just had class with Edward. What’s his deal?”

“Edward is,” Y/N pauses, searching for the right words. “Did something happen?”

“He stared at me for forty five minutes and then tried to transfer out of the class.” Bella frowns at the memory.

Y/N’s brows pull together, “really?”

“Do you think you could talk to him? Otherwise I will, he’s my lab partner and it’s really uncomfortable.” Bella presses the issue farther.

“I’m sure it’s nothing. I’ll talk to him.” Y/N shifts her books between arms, out of habit.

“Thanks.” Bella watches her intently, “so do you have plans for tonight?”

“Dad normally takes me down to the diner for peach cobbler on Fridays.” Y/N tells her, “I’m surprised he didn’t invite you.”

“He did. I just didn’t know if maybe you and Jacob-“

“He might show up later,” the vampire admits, embarrassment creeping up her throat.

“Jake’s pretty intense nowadays.” Bella chews her bottom lip.

“He’s got a lot on his mind,” Y/N shrugs.

“Is everything ok?” Maybe she is about to spill the beans.

“You know how boyfriends can be.”

“Actually I don’t,” Bella squints at her, “that’s one thing that I don’t have to worry about.”

“You’re a free bird. That’s pretty cool too.

“Nobody to hover over me,” Bella agrees.

“I can hover,” Y/N offers, “if it’ll make you feel better.”

Bella groans, “please don’t.”

“I’ll see you at dinner then?”

“I’ll see you.”

———————————————————————

“Edward, my friend. I need to have a word with you.” Y/N finds him, just about to escape into the driver’s seat of his Volvo.

“What for?” He grumbles, ever the tortured soul.

“Bella said you stared at her.” The Y/H/C informs him, rocking back on her heels.

“She’s new,” as if Y/N needs reminding, “everyone stares.”

“For an entire biology class?”

Edward leans in, his words only for her ears. “Something could’ve happened. But it didn’t.”

“What could’ve happened?” Y/N demands.

“I’ve never wanted a human’s blood so badly in all my years.”

“So the solution to that was really intense eye contact?” Y/N tries to make sense of it.

“I had to remind myself…I needed to see her as a person.” Edward closes his eyes against the unwanted thoughts. “I know it sounds odd.”

“Ok a year ago my boyfriend turned into a large dog for the first time, chopped off the hair he’s been growing since we were kids and imprinted on me.”

“Imprinted?” Edward tests out the word.

“It’s a whole wolf thing,” Y/N waves a dismissive hand. “Then I became a blood drinking demon with a body temp of negative ten; and sometimes when we touch it makes a sizzling noise.”

Edward’s brow furrows farther. “Really?”

“Like a frying pan.” She adds, “point being, nothing is odd to me anymore. My only question is what are you going to do about it?”

“Every other class is full that period. My only option is to hunt more frequently.” Edward elaborates, clearly having put thought into it. “You can apologize on my behalf. I’ll do so myself as well.”

Y/N nods, “just steer clear of strangeness around Bella. She’s already starting to get suspicious.”

“She told you that?”

“She didn’t have to,” Y/N shakes her head. “I know her.”

“When you tap into my ability…are you able to read her mind?” Edward wonders, eyes dark and intense.

“No.” Y/N realizes, “why?”

Edward purses his lips, “I can’t either.”

“Because of her blood?” Maybe it’s a vampire thing.

“I don’t think so. But I couldn’t be sure until I asked you.” Edward cocks his head to the side.

“You could’ve just read my thoughts.” Y/N points out, taping a finger against the strap of her backpack.

“You told me to stop.”

“What, now you listen to me?” She scoffs, that’s never stopped him before.

Edward chuckles. “You should step back a bit.”

“Why?” The newborn asks.

“Mike, Eric, and the others are taking bets on whether or not your going to kiss me.” He arches a full brow.

“Ew,” Y/N pulls away.

“Don’t worry,” Edward’s tongue darts across his lips, “you’re not my type.”

———————————————————————

“So Bells, you survived your first week in Forks. How’s school treating ya?” Charlie asks, taking a bite out of his burger.

“Honestly,” she pauses to consider, “not too bad. Everyone is very welcoming.”

“Good,” their father nods, “sure it helped having Y/N there to show you around.”

“Yeah,” Bella’s eyes land on her sister. “It’s been awesome.”

“Do you need anything else? Supply wise? I could take you into town this weekend.”

“I’m good.” Bella assures the chief, around a mouthful of fries. “Thank you, for everything.”

“Alright,” Charlie stares down at his plate. “How about you Y/N?”

“You spoil me Dad.” She narrows her eyes at him, picking at the food on her plate. It tastes like shit and whatever she eats she has to throw up. Normally she can sneak some to Jacob, but tonight she’s not so lucky.

“You’re mine to spoil.” Her father points his fork at her. “Only got a few years left, Jake’s chomping at the bit.”

Y/N rolls her eyes, “stop.”

“Surprised he’s not here yet.” Charlie turns his attention to the diner entrance, half expecting to find him there.

“He got tied up with something,” Y/N explains, scratching her head for show. “School project I think. I’ll be sure to let him know he was missed.”

———————————————————————

That night Jacob calls instead of visiting. Y/N can feel that something is off.

“Jacob.” She answers after the first ring.

“Hey, honey,” he breathes. “It’s good to hear your voice.”

“Is something wrong?” She wonders, heart in her throat.

“Up in Mason county, there’s been some activity.” Jake informs her. “People are talking bears, some kind of animal.”

“You disagree?” He must or he wouldn’t be there.

“Not sure yet,” he mulls it over again. “I brought Sam with me to check it out.”

“So what now?” Y/N demands, staring longingly out her bedroom window as she eases it shut.

“Now we wait, stake out the area.” The wolf is all business.

“Should I come to Mason?” Y/N offers, she has nothing better to do. “Do you need back up?”

“No, you sit tight.”

“I could sit on you.” It’s a terrible joke, but Jacob’s laugh fills the line and she doesn’t care.

“I miss you,” he whispers.

“I miss you too,” Y/N debates heading to Mason county anyway.

“Tell me about school,” Jacob replies. Anything to keep her on the line. “How was your day? What did I miss?”

“Not much since I seen you yesterday,” Y/N snarks, no heat behind her words. “But Edward’s got something going on with Bella.”

“Am I supposed to know what that means? Or do you wanna give me some context here?” Leaves crackle beneath the sole of his shoe.

“How much time do you have?” Y/N sighs, toying with the dreamcatcher that hangs from her bedpost. Jake gave it to her, so it stays although she no longer has any use for it.

“As much as you need.” For her there’s always time.

———————————————————————

A couple days later Bella brings up Edward again. Only now for an entirely different reason.

He saved her life by stopping a van from crushing her. He stopped it with his bare hand.

“Bella, are you ok? Let’s get you to my car. I’ll drive you to the hospital.” Y/N says, putting an arm around her sister and leading her away from the crowd that had formed around the two vehicles.

“How’d Edward do that?” Bella stammers, her thoughts jumbled.

“Do what?” Y/N keeps her focus on the pavement.

“He stopped the van.” Bella is not about to let this go.

“You hit your head,” Y/N brushes a bit of hair behind her sister’s ear.

“I know what I saw.” The brunette snaps, climbing into the passenger seat.

“I’ll call Dad,” Y/N attempts to redirect the conversation. “Tell him to meet us at the hospital.”

“It would be humanly impossible for him to get there that fast, he was clear across the parking lot.” Bella mutters mostly to herself as Y/N fills their father in on the incident.

“Just…put the seat back and relax.” Y/N hangs up a moment later, stuffing the device into her back pocket.

“You know something,” Bella accuses. “I can see it in your eyes, you get skittish whenever I bring it up. But I know you know. And I think it has something to do with whatever happened to you a month ago.”

“Edward didn’t make me sick.”

“Maybe you were never sick,” Bella challenges.

Y/N keeps her eyes set on the road.

“You don’t have to tell me, but I wish you’d toss me a bone here.” Bella will take any information she can get.

“If I could I would.” It would be so much easier.

“Is it like a cult or something?” Why else would she have a gag order?

“Not a cult.” Y/N corrects her, “got any other theories?”

“Still working on it.” Bella replies with fierce determination.

———————————————————————

The animal attacks move closer to town. Y/N’s been keeping a close eye on her sister. Strangely enough Edward is too. She has a sneaking suspicion it’s because Edward can’t read Bella’s mind.

That weekend Bella heads into Port Angeles with Angela and Jessica from school. Y/N doesn’t want to overstep, but she does need a dress for prom. Perfect opportunity to stay close.

“You call this subtle?” Jacob chuckles, watching his girlfriend weave through traffic on the freeway, to keep Jessica’s car within sight line.

“What?” Y/N frowns, “you need a tux, I need a dress. Port Angeles has both.”

“I meant the car, baby.” Jacob motions out the front windshield. “We’re all going to the same place. Let her breathe.” He places a hand on her thigh, squeezing lightly.

Y/N eases off the gas, letting the car cruise at a relaxed pace. “Sorry.”

“What color are we thinking for a dress?” Jake asks, hoping to distract her. “Because I’m picturing you in a hot little red number.”

She swats at him, “shut up.”

“Rude.” He flicks her in retaliation, eyes lingering on the single charm bracelet that lies against her wrist. “I’m adding to that soon.”

“Jake,” she murmurs, “I have enough. You really don’t have to-“

“I want to,” Jacob argues.

“It’s too much,” Y/N protests halfheartedly, “and I’m unskilled at crafting. Otherwise you’d be showered with gifts, daily.”

“I don’t need gifts,” Jacob is more than content, “being with you is enough.”

“Baby-“

“It’s different for you. I know your feelings for me aren’t as…intense.” Jacob doesn’t mind. “But when I imprinted-“

Y/N remembers.

Jacob hadn’t seen her in days, since the first time he turned. From a boy, into a man, into a wolf…an alpha.

He knows what he has to do. He has to keep her safe. Even if that means that he can never see her again.

When Y/N finally tracks him down Jacob is prepared. Having practiced the monologue over and over in his head.

Jacob knows that the words will burn his throat. He knows that his heart will break.

“Jake, what the hell is going on?” The Y/H/C is fuming.

“Y/N-“ his eyes find hers and time stops. His mouth hangs open and he falls to his knees at her feet.

A thousand images of her flood his mind. And if there was ever a doubt, he now knows she is his. Made for him and he for her.

“Hey,” Y/N bends down. Brown eyes full of tears as she cups his face.

Jacob nuzzles against the palm of her hand and then plants countless kisses there. “It’s you.”

Y/N nods. “I’m here, I’m right here.”

“I need you,” Jacob all but sobs, “I love you.”

“I love you so much.” She assures him. “And I’m gonna be here, with you, through whatever is going on. I just need you to talk to me.”

At this Jacob loses any composure he’d been holding onto, crying his relief and frustration and overwhelming sadness into the crook of her neck.

It’s a day neither of them will soon forget. Things got better after that, after they had each other.

But Jacob’s wrong. She needs him to know that. “I’m like crazy in love with you. I may not have imprinted, but what I feel for you is very intense.”

Jacob grins so wide it could split his face. “I just meant that,” how can he even explain it? “Being away from you feels like I’ll never see the sun again.”

Guilt twists like a knife in her belly. “You’ll have to stay close to me then.”

“That’s the plan.” It always has been.

“Can I ask you something?” Y/N wonders, having finally mustered up the courage.

“Anything,” Jacob replies.

“You told me once that you thought Quilutes are designed to imprint on those most likely to pass down the wolf gene.”

“In a nutshell.” He nods, toying with the seam of her jeans. “But it’s more than that.”

“Vampires can’t have babies.” Y/N wishes it wasn’t true, “so in theory couldn’t you imprint on someone else?”

“Doesn’t work that way, it’s for life.” Jacob dismisses the idea. “Besides I’m not entirely sure I buy the no kids thing. Sam has a theory.”

“You told Sam about my…fertility issues?”

Jacob turns his gaze out the window, “our issues.”

Y/N blinks at him. “Do you want kids?”

“I want everything with you.” Jacob thought he’d made that perfectly clear.

Y/N’s mouth falls open. “I-“ she freezes, unable to form a coherent thought.

“You don’t have to say it back.”

He does so much for her, and asks for so little in return. “What’s the theory?”

“You really wanna know?” It sounds ridiculous out loud.

“Please,” she insists. Hanging on his every word.

“Well, the main reason vampires can’t have kids is because their bodies can’t change to accommodate a baby.” Jacob has thought about it forward, backward and sideways.

“Right,” Y/N nods, skeptically.

“What if the fetus could stay small enough that you wouldn’t have to grow?”

“You lost me,” she attempts to make sense of it.

“Wolves change when they sense vampires in the area.” Jacob knows it’s crazy, but their lives are nothing short of crazy.

“Mhm,” the Y/H/C hums.

“So if a wolf was inside a vampire-“

“You think I can have puppies?” Y/N runs a hand over her forehead.

“In theory,” Jacob clarifies. Hoping he hasn’t scared her off.

“By that logic we should definitely be using protection.”

Jacob’s expression is unreadable. “I guess so.”

“Unless you want to test it?” Y/N is open to it, the idea of children. Jacob’s children.

“Not right this second,” Jake huffs a laugh. “I’d like to graduate first, have our own place, make you Mrs. Black. Only if you want to,” he adds.

“I don’t want to disappoint you.” Y/N confesses, “if I can’t give you a litter.”

“I’m happy with just us, I always will be. All I’m saying is that we have options. If and when you want to, there are things we can try.” He lifts her hand to his lips.

The vampire melts, her gaze finding his.

“Eyes on the road,” Jacob chastises.

Part 3

[hippolotamus]

Gotta go with my man Eddie’s favourite -> peach cobbler

Oh annnnnd … lap 👀

Oh, Daffi, I cannot imagine where I might find such words! 😅 oh wait, yes I can! Both can be found in watch my shattered edges glisten 🪩

Eddie’s beloved peach cobbler 🍑

Now he can drive to Athena’s and ignore Bobby’s curious looks while he stress eats his weekly peach cobbler.

Lap

He guesses that’s the intended effect, meant to keep him from realizing that six-foot-something of dirty blond hair and blue eyes and pure fucking sex on legs was about to drop into his lap, straddling his thighs.

[brattyfics]

Like That

Pairing: Rio x Black!Reader

Summary: You and Rio get to know each other better. Loosely based on ‘Like That’ by Doja Cat. 

Warnings: Smut.

Word Count: 3.5K

Installments: Say So | Like That | Talk Dirty

And baby, I want it, and I'll just be honest 'Cause I just can't front when I look at you

About six weeks have passed since Rio declared himself your man, and you quickly learned he took the title very seriously.

He was busier than usual with ‘flipping his game,’ and you were busy preparing to transition your shop, but you saw each other often despite time constraints. You agreed date nights at least once a week were a must, but when you couldn’t see each other, Rio made sure to end nights with a phone call. Virtually falling asleep next to him gave you butterflies, reminding you just how exciting new relationships could be. It took prodding, but he told you made-up bedtime stories and the boring details of his day. In return, you shared things about yourself— childhood memories, the crazy things your mom did to embarrass you. He was sweet and attentive, and you found it refreshing to be with someone who was just as infatuated with you.

On your second date, he took you to his favorite restaurant, a fancy sushi place with expensive rolls. He taught you to hold chopsticks the wrong way the way he did and even fed you across the small table, a couple of unfortunate rolls falling apart due to his prodding. You tried your best to hide your amusement at the pensive look on his face. For whatever reason, Rio thought of himself as a sushi connoisseur, but it was clear to you that he was still learning.

“You’re no better than me!” He admonished when he noticed the way you held your chopsticks. Like his technique, it was incorrect, but it worked for you— sort of. “I never said I was.” You couldn’t keep the amusement off your face any longer. “You’re the one who comes here weekly. I thought you were a professional, and we’re in the same boat.” He folded his arms on top of the table as he insisted you were wrong, but secretly he found your teasing endearing. Later that night, he called and gave you a cheesy line about loving to see you smile.

The following week, you had lunch at a mom-and-pop soul food restaurant that served the best cornbread and peach cobbler in the city. The owners, an adorable older couple, Donna and Gene, and servers alike stopped by your table to meet Rio. Donna gushed over Rio, showering him with compliments and extra cornbread. “Girl, he is cute!” She told you, failing miserably at whispering. He smirked as you rolled your eyes, but he handled the attention well, being friendly and personable even when Gene kept going on and on about changes to the menu, one chef to another.

A few days later, he called you up randomly and asked you to get ready and ride with him somewhere. “What should I wear?” You asked, hoping for a hint. You could hear him smile as he said, “It doesn’t even matter, ma. You always look good.” The occasion had turned out to be ‘Foodtruck Friday.’ Barbecue, kebab, taco, ice cream, and other miscellaneous food trucks were parked in a spacious lot in Downtown Detroit. You settled at a picnic table and shared several plates of food as you discussed the possibility of your own mobile ‘Mad Batter’ shop somewhere down the line. It got you thinking about the future.

“Where do you see yourself in five years?” You asked the dreaded question in between bites of a colorful Korean fusion taco. He stiffened as he considered the answer. “What is this, a job interview?” Sometimes you saw peeks of bossman Rio rather than the Christopher Castillo you were getting to know. It happened seemingly out of nowhere when you asked questions he felt were invasive.

You looked up from the panko-fried shrimp, red cabbage, shredded carrots, and tasty orange sauce wrapped up in a flour tortilla with a frown. You had two choices: respond in the way he had or make light of the situation. So, you said, “Kinda. You’re auditioning for a spot on my roster, so...”

He stopped chewing the half-eaten dumpling and swallowed hard. “That’s not funny.”

“You better start taking the interviewing part of the audition more seriously then.” You wiped your fingers on a napkin, and he gathered your hand in his own, wearing a look you couldn’t decipher. “You got it, ma.”

You played a game of mini-golf at the local arcade. Rio stood tall behind you, holding you by your hips as he corrected your stance. You purposefully arched your back, brushing against him just slightly. “Like this?” You looked over your shoulder with the most innocent look you could muster, but his eyes were glued to your ass. “Yeah, just like that.” He answered in a low tone without looking up. You giggled as you took your swing, adding a wiggle for his benefit. You pretended to care about the ball as it glided across the bright green tarp towards the hole. “How was that?” You chirped, looking down the lane.

“I can’t even lie. I don’t care about the game right now. I just wanna watch you.” Your aim was terrible, and the ball never went in the hole without several attempts, but he insisted you finish playing the course. You teased him about it for days after despite his claim that he actually enjoyed the game because it was one of Marcus’ favorites.

“Stop lying! You just wanted an excuse to openly watch my ass.”

“Why you always gotta call me out?”

You shopped a cozy health and wellness store with hundreds of cool little trinkets for sale. Neither of you had been there before, so you took your time exploring, stealing unexpected kisses from the other. Rio took full advantage of the size of the store, pulling you by the hand and holding you close to his side.

He frowned at the large collection of shiny crystals. “A rock, really? What does anybody need with a rock?”

“It’s not a rock!” You hissed, head whipping around as you hoped the owner didn’t hear him.

“What is it then? It looks like a rock to me.” He picked one up, turning it over in his hands.

“It’s a crystal!”

“What’s the difference?”

“It has healing properties...” Rio snorted but strung his arm across your shoulder and listened intently as you read the info cards to him. When it was all said and done, he bought an aventurine stone to apologize to the owner for prosperity, well-being, and good luck.

The next day, he disappeared with no warning. You had been worried sick until Mick let you know he was busy handling something. It would have only taken a minute to tell you that, so you were (understandably) pissed. He showed up at the shop several days later like nothing had ever happened. “What’s up, mama?” The greeting that usually melted you grated on your nerves. All of your feelings about the situation bubbled up to the surface. It was hard to find the right words— you were still getting to know each other, so how mad could you be? At the same time, how little did he think of you to not say anything? Finally, you settled on, “I can’t do the disappearing act.”

Rio wasn’t used to answering to anyone, not even his child’s mother, about his whereabouts, but he put his palms up in surrender when he saw the serious expression you wore.

“You’re right, mama. That’s my bad. It won’t happen again.”

And it hadn’t.

But knowing ahead of time only made it a tiny bit easier, especially when he didn’t have a set return date. You were going on day seven (the longest you had gone without seeing him since you started dating) when he called to say he made it home and wanted to see you. Your heavy heart swelled with relief. You missed him way more than you probably should have, so you insisted on a night in at your place, wanting him to feel relaxed and at home instead of on guard somewhere public.

It had been a long six weeks without sex while he romanced you with delicious food and beautiful words. It wasn’t an easy task, but you knew as soon as sex was thrown in the mix, you would be done for, either destined to be his or ruined by him. It was a scary thought, but distance had indeed made the heart grow fonder, and you cared about him enough to take a chance.

He was set to arrive within the hour, but you were still unsure of what to wear, frantically rummaging through the dresser for something cute and comfortable. You let out a frustrated groan when your phone started to ring, thinking Rio might have come early, but when you look down at your phone, you see your best friend’s name and face. You swipe quickly, accepting the FaceTime call. “Hey, girl!”

“Hey, stranger!” You pick up the phone, so you can look at her. “Really?”

“Yes, really.” She replies with just as much sass. “I haven’t talked to you in what— two weeks?”

“We talk—“

“—text.”

“Okay, fine. Text. We text every day. What are you talking about?”

“That’s not the same.” She insists even as you remind her of the ridiculous amount of time you spend trading memes and food pictures with her.

“Anyway, what are you doing?”

“I’m trying to decide what I’m going to wear between this, this, or this.” You move the camera around, showing her the different options. A black-and-white tank and short set with ‘Being cute is not a crime’ in a cute font. A fuzzy grey sweatsuit set with hearts, or a simple cream hoodie with matching shorts.

“Um, what’s the occasion?” You giggle at the look on her face, knowing she thinks none of the above are appropriate for wearing outside of the house.

“Movie night in.”

“You need help picking an outfit for movie night with yourself?” Her face scrunches up in confusion. “Wait, is it movie night with yourself?” You try to be casual about it, shrugging your shoulders in response. As usual, she sees through your bullshit and goes straight into an interrogation. “Oh, bitch. You been holding out on me!” She asks you five questions in a row without stopping to breathe before settling on one. “Who?”

You gnaw on your bottom lip. “...Rio.”

“Rio?” She frowns. “Like the guy we work for, Rio? With the eyebrows and the neck tattoo, Rio?”

“Yes, that Rio.”

“Wow.” You wince but decide it’s best to get it over with. “What? I know you, so I know there’s more where that came from.”

“I don’t know what to say! From what I can tell, he’s a decent dude, I guess, but you know what he does. You definitely know what we do for him! You don’t think that could be a problem?”

“It’s messy, for sure, and I can admit that, but I’ve been thinking about getting out anyway...” She nods. “Then, I guess there’s nothing else for me to say about that. You’re both grown, and you know what you’re doing.” She was your best friend, which meant she’d always give her honest opinion, but wouldn’t berate you about your choices. Just like that, you return to your regular discussion topics, everything from warehouse gossip (yes, even in the business of crime, there’s a rumor mill) to new music releases. Before you knew it, forty minutes had passed, and Rio was calling your phone. You promised to call her more often before hanging up.

You sing your ‘hello’ into the phone, hoping Rio can’t detect the shakiness in your voice as you clumsily pull on your bottoms.

“Hey, mama. You about ready? I know you’re sensitive about your space and all that.” He was referring to the fact that he had never been past the doorway of your home. Your home was your sacred place, so you were extra careful about who came in and what energy they brought. It was always nerve-wracking to let somebody into the space that you cherished so much.

“Yeah.” He picks up on the hesitancy in your voice. “Are you sure?” You nod your head as if he can see you before telling him yes with a giggle. “Alright, well, I’m outside. Can I come in?” You bite your lip, butterflies fluttering in your tummy. “Yeah, I’ll come unlock the door.” He whispers his thanks, and you take a moment to force yourself to relax. When you meet him at the door, you do so with an open mind and heart, taking in his appearance with a goofy grin on your face. As usual, he’s dressed in all black, wearing a well-fitted t-shirt and sweatpants. He’s casual but still so high quality and attractive.

“Hi.” You breathe out like a dork when you realize you’re staring. It helps that he seems just as mesmerized, stepping forward to envelop you in a tight, warm hug. He sways you from side to side before pulling back, his hands resting heavily on the top of your ass. He settles for a quick peck on the lips because he has something to say. “You’re as pretty as ever, darlin’.” He says earnestly, shaking his head as he steps back to look you over once more.

“Kiss me again.” His hands cup your ass as you devour each other in the open doorway. You forget your surroundings. “Damn, ma. Can I at least get inside before you jump my bones? I don’t mind giving your neighbors a show if that’s your thing, but…” You turn to hide your embarrassment, leaving him to close the door behind you as you gesture around the room as if you’re in an episode of MTV Cribs. “... here’s the living room. The kitchen’s through the arch. The bathroom’s over there...” He follows you with his red as you point.

“And the bedroom?”

You snort. “The tour stops here for now. Sit down.” Your tone leaves no room for argument. He settles into the soft couch while you grab the snack tray from the kitchen. Homemade popcorn, chocolate-covered pretzels, and dried fruit gummies are on the menu.

“All this for me?” His arms snake around your waist so that you can curl up into his side. “What we watching?” You grab the remote. “I saw a trailer this week that caught my attention. I’ll play it for you.” He didn’t care what you watched as long as he got to be close to you, so it didn’t take long for you to get the movie started. He stole glances at you when his knuckles brushed against your bare knees under the blanket. You’re embarrassed at how wet the small action makes you, so you stretch out across the couch and place your bare feet in his lap, silently planning your revenge. The movie may as well not be playing because you couldn’t be less interested in the plot as you lightly stroke him through his sweatpants with the balls of your feet.

“Ma...” He warns, watching you in the low lighting. He’s come to learn you like to tease, but he doesn’t think he can take it, not tonight. “Hmm?” You hum innocently, loving the strained look on your face. He doesn’t move even as you sit up on your haunches and kiss him. It’s slow and long in the best way. He pulls you to sit in his lap. His hands roam your body as you grind down onto him, relishing in the feeling of the soft skin on your tummy. He sighs into your mouth as one hand finds your bare breasts.

He pulls away to talk shit. “No bra? You just knew I was gonna put out, huh?” He pushes the cotton material up so he can see you properly. “Perfect.” He murmurs into your skin. You let him kiss and lick and suck on your nipples until the pressure you feel below is too much to handle. You’re a quivering mess when he finally helps you pull the cotton material up and over your head. It lands on top of the television behind you, but neither of you notice.

You nudge him until he removes his own shirt, and then he lifts his hips to help you when you begin tugging on his sweats. They puddle at his feet while you spread your legs wide, desperate to get your hands on him. “I could cry right now.” You admit honestly when you finally see him, biting your lip. He arches a brow. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing, darlin’?” His hips jerk when you take him into your hands, the cold temperature surprising him.

“It’s definitely a good thing.” You whisper excitedly, staring with wonder as he hardens in your hands. He barks out a laugh, stunned by your ability to make him laugh, even with his dick in your hands. “That’s really nice, ma. I feel real special.” Your eyes meet, and silent promises of all the filthy things you’re going to do to each other are exchanged. “You should. I’m about to change your life.” He throbs in your hands, loving that you find small ways to challenge him.

“Come on. Let’s go to bed.” He wraps his arms around you in preparation to get up, but you stop him with a shake of your head. “I don’t wanna.”

“No? What you wanna do then?”

You answer him by slipping to your knees. You spit on his dick, stroking him up and down slowly. He watches you closely as you lower your mouth, wrapping your lips around the tip. It takes a lot of restraint, but he lets you do your thing, slowly working him deeper into your throat. He closes his eyes as he concentrates on lasting, but he can’t turn his ears off, the obscene smacks painting a vivid picture for him. When you swipe your tongue across his balls, he moves to stop you, grabbing your shoulders. Fire dances in your eyes as you realize you got him where you want him. “I don’t wanna.” You repeat.

“You are a brat.”

You release him with a pop. “The biggest.” You admit, swallowing him once more. He groans, thinking he can’t believe you’re the same sweet girl who bakes in a frilly pink apron and begs him to tell her bedtime stories.

“I want you to fuck me now.” He stops you before you can bend over the couch. “Slow down. I want you on your back, darlin.”

You throw his earlier words back at him. “That’s nice. I feel really special.”

“You should.” He mocks you, instructing you to hold your legs wide. He wastes no time licking and sucking you as enthusiastically as you had done him. “You’re so pretty. I could eat this pretty pussy forever.” He compliments as you squirm in his hold. “You’d let me, huh?” You shake your head frantically. “No! You’d drive..me crazy!” Payback is a mother, especially when Rio’s the one dishing it out. “Wait, wait—“You whimper, clawing at his shoulders.

“What?” He cajoles. He almost wants to laugh at the distressed look on your face. “I want you.” You pout, trying to sweet-talk him.

“You have me.”

“Not like this. Inside.”

“Yeah? You sure?”

“Mhm.” You swallow, watching as he fumbles around with his pants searching for a condom. He opens the golden foil packet with expert fingers, positioning himself in between your spread legs. “You don’t have any pointers for me now?” He drags his tip up and down your slit, slowly pushing his way further. Teasing. You shake your head. “No. Just fuck me.”

“That ain’t polite. You gotta say please, mama.” You scowled, but he didn’t budge. “Please.” You pleaded with the sweetest tone you could muster, sighing as he gave in. You cursed at the stretch, him at the way you squeezed him. “You feel…” He couldn’t find the words, so he buried his face in your neck, trying to gain some composure. You caressed the back of his neck sweetly. “You feel good too, baby.”

His hips stuttered forward, and you gasped as he worked himself deeper. You grasp his shoulders tightly, your nails embedding themselves into the soft skin.

“Yes!” You squeal.

“Like that?” He grits out, struggling to keep his rhythm.

“Yes, just like that!” You cry, moaning as he pounds up into you. His lips find yours again, and it’s bliss. Then before you can stop yourself, you’re calling him Daddy like it’s his given name. He groans into your sweaty neck like he’s in pain.

“You’re so nasty.” Overwhelmed and breathless, you whine your protest, “You’re nasty. Look at what you’re doing to me.” His eyes shift to where you’re connected. You’re creaming all over him and leaking down onto the couch, but you can’t bring yourself to care about anything other than coming. You do just that, mewling as you make an even bigger mess between your legs. He whispers filthy things into your ear as he finishes, grunting at the way you seem to be sucking him in even deeper.

“That was—“

“—unreal.”

“Yeah.”

Neither of you can bring yourself to move. Your sweat-covered skin sticks together. You swipe your hand against your forehead while he pants.

“I wanted to ride you at least once tonight, but after that, I’ll be lucky to make it to bed.”

GENERAL TAGLIST

@woahitslucyylu @briannab1234 @sheeshgivemeabreak @breakingnewsin-no-oneasked @angelreyesgirl @blessedboo @glimmerglittergirl @apantherinmypastlife @brownsugarcoffy @marvelmaree @starrynite7114 @scuzmunkie @thewarriorprincessxo @sadeyesgf @pearlkitten33 @imanerdychubbyqueen @literaturefeen @ourlittlesecretsoveragain @everyhowlmarksthedead @yourwonkywriter @trulysuccubus @sparklemichele @luckyharley1903

RIO TAGLIST

@xsweetdellzx​

[buttterknifeee]

Do you think that some villain in Gotham would help a tourist who stopped him to ask for information? if the answer is yes, which villains would do that?

YES OMG OK HERES A LIST OF PEOPLE THAT WOULD DEFINITELY HELP A TOURIST AND WHAT WOULD HAPPEN ALSO TOURISTS HAVE GOT TO STOP GOING INTO DARK ALLEYWAYS LIKE THE DUMBASSES THEY ARE

Harley Quinn

You see her run towards you, being chased by two police officers

but you’re pretty desperate so you yell “EXCUSE ME MISS BUT DO YOU HAVE THE DIRECTIONS TO THE NEAREST GAS STATION???”

She skids to a stop right in front of you and whistles. Two hyenas jump out and start attacking the police officers behind her as she puts an arm around you and starts pointing to markers on your map

“Ok listen you take a right here a left here and go straight for a quarter mile and boom you’re there mk kid gotta blast byeeee”

She runs away, hyenas following her, leaving you standing next to the police officers, groaning on the floor.

Cat Woman

She sees you from the roof of a building

“You lost”

Ohmygosh i- uh yeah”

“I’ll give you directions, for a price of course”

So basically she robs you

She gets your rings and a watch, but hey at least you know where the nearest bed and breakfast is

She also pickpocketed 20 bucks from your wallet, which you find out later

The Riddler

out of all the information you retained about gotham, it was that you could find out anything from the Riddler by putting the word “riddle” in your sentence

You see the green suited man in the middle of the alley, beginning his whole “riddle me this” monologue

“No you riddle ME this ok? Wheres the best place to stay in Gotham for 5 nights?”

“Pft- this is EASY you fool!!! The Hyatt offers a discount for first time visitors-”

“Great! Thanks!” You say, walking in the other direction

Calendar Man

you notice pieces of paper floating down around you, and upon further inspection, you realize that they’re calendar dates, to which you look up to see a man standing in the middle of the alleyway

“its national peach cobbler day. Maybe ill cobble you in the face if you don’t give me your wallet”

“Oh yeah that reminds me! Where’s the best place to get some peach cobblers?”

“Oh, you know, Marie Calendar”

“Cool thanks!” You say as you see a random vigilante jump in and kick him in the face

[hummingbird-of-light]

Semper Meus

Part 3

Scotty

When the doorbell rang, he couldn't help but swear in Gaelic. Leah was already here! And he wasn't finished yet.

Scotty quickly pulled over the best white shirt he could find, then searched for a good pair of jeans. He wanted to make a good first impression on his sister-in-law.

He could hear Leonard and Leah laughing and talking in the living room. Damn it, he had to hurry!

As soon as he was dressed up, he ran to the door and nearly tripped when he reached the living room.

'Great first impression. Being clumsy,' his mind scolded him, but Leah just chuckled.

"Hey, hey. It's just me. Not Angelina Jolie."

Leonard rolled his eyes.

"Gotta agree with you there. You're worlds apart."

"Hey! I'm gorgeous!" Leah punched her brother in his side before she walked over to Scotty and pulled him into a hug.

"Hello Scotty. It's nice to finally meet you. Like... for real."

Over the last month they had video called each other quite often, planning Leah's stay at Leonard's place. No... their place. This was their home.

"Aye, it's great to meet ye too, lass. And... ye do look gorgeous, indeed."

Scott eyed their visitor from head to toe. She really was a beautiful woman.

Leah wrapped an arm around his shoulder and turned to Leonard.

"See Lenny boy? This gentleman knows how to treat a woman." She turned her head back to Scotty. "You sure you're into men? I mean... I'm still single."

Scotty blushed slightly at this comment. Never before had someone flirted with him like this. Or at least it had been ages ago.

"But wait! There's still a brother to claim, isn't there?"

"Leah, let it go. No one's gonna hook up with you," Leonard teased his big sister who sighed theatrically.

"Well, not everyone can be as lucky as you."

She finally let go of Scotty and looked around the house.

"This place is a lot better than the last one you had. Where can I unpack my things?"

Leonard joined his sister and placed an arm around her, guiding her towards the guest room.

"This will be your room, Lee."

He glanced over his shoulder and mouthed a quick 'sorry' to his fiancé, but Scotty just waved it off.

Leah would definitely bring some life into their home.

Part 4

McCoy

McCoy was enjoying breakfast before work with Scotty the next morning when Leah walked into the kitchen.

“Morning Lenny Boy,” she said as she walked behind him and tousled his hair.

“Stop it,” McCoy responded.

“I saved ye a plate,” Scotty said. He got up and walked over to retrieve it.

“Oh,” Leah said in surprise. “I normally just have some toast.”

Scotty sat the plate in front of her and went back to his seat. McCoy watched his sister begin to eat.

“Scotty you made this?” Leah asked.

Scotty nodded.

“Of course you did, it’s delicious. Lenny could never make something this good.”

“Hey!” McCoy cried. “I make Nana’s cobbler better than you ever will!”

“Ok, I’ll give you that one,” Leah conceded. “Len,” she said after another moment, “does he make you breakfast every morning?”

“Most mornings,” McCoy nodded.

Leah raised her eyebrows and looked at Scotty. McCoy saw the color beginning on his fiancé’s face as he shrugged.

“I like to,” Scotty said.

“Dang Len, you lucked out,” Leah said returning to eating.

“Yeah,” McCoy said and he smiled at Scotty, “I did.”

“Leah, did you have plans today?” Scotty asked.

“Just relax. Maybe nose around and find out all the secrets around here.”

“What?” Scotty looked taken aback.

“She’s joking leannan,” McCoy said to him. He gave a stern glance at his sister to warn her not to joke like that.

“Yeah, just a joke,” Leah said. “Sorry.” She looked back at McCoy questioningly.

It was quiet a moment before Leah spoke again.

“What on earth did you just call him?” she asked, looking at McCoy.

McCoy grinned at Scotty. “Ooo, so this is how it must have felt for you at home. Tha gaol agam ort.”

Scotty grinned back and repeated the words.

Leah looked between them. “Nevermind, I don’t want to know.”

“Good. I’ve got to finish getting ready for work.” McCoy pushed back and took his dishes to the sink.

“I’ll do the dishes,” Leah offered.

“No, lass—” Scotty began, but Leah cut him off.

“You made breakfast; I can clean up. Don’t worry about it.”

“Oh let her,” McCoy said as he leaned down to kiss Scotty. “You’ve got to get moving too unless you want Keenser to leave you behind.”