#I got two cents to spare

[jthepearlord]

On a lukewarm take.

I'll tell you right now, most adult mainstream media is not more "subtle" in is subtext than children's mainstream media.

Why is that? Children's entertainment can't get away with a lot of literal imagery.

Like queer rep, ND rep, and or most political issues.

So it requires the use of symbolism and subtext to get through it to it's audience with enough deniability to not upset the status quo.

Symbolism I've found to be much more powerful in a lot of all ages media than in adult and YA entertainment.

That is to say, all media should be consumed with our own biases in mind.

Instead of saying, X was bad and irredimible, people should be asking themselves, "why does this character make me FEEL this way about them, how much of that is intentional and how much of it is my own interpretation, why Y character forgave them so easily, what reasons do they have".

I consume all sorts of media, and most adult media I enjoy is adult media produced by artists mostly known for children's entertainment, they more often understand nuance and earnestness that a lot of newer adult guested media does not.

Do you think kid shows are black and white? Boy, I have bad news about cop thrillers.

I jest tho it's easier to extrapolate character from simplicity and earnestness than from media that is constantly embarrassed of being "too weird and unserious".

Some people consume only adult media, (not cartoon adult media like, just in general mainstream media) and have the media literacy of a fish.

I do think is important to watch everything you find mildly interesting, wether or not it's withing your preferred générés, demographics, and styles.

But I find it iffy to imply that all ages media is mostly not nuanced, because "they have to appeal to children black and white mentality" when that's just a big misconception.

Any weird vibes check my tags

[satoruhour]

LAUNDRY DAY

a/n: I AM ALLIVEEEEEEE 🔥🔥🔥🔥 sorry i had a crazy week! can be read as a standalone piece but based off gojo’s roommate au of here and here / tagging @jabamin @hyomagiri @utahimeow @lov3rbody ☆

wc: 4k

warnings: sub!gojo that turns into dom!gojo, fem!reader, fantasising? gojo is a pervert too, mentions of semi-public sex, implied somnophilia, panty sniffing, pillow / dry humping, m! masturbation, oral (m receiving), deep-throating, praise, pet names, unprotected sex, multiple rounds, creampie / breeding kink, n*sfw under the cut

living with you was hard. brushing his teeth with you was hard. being around you — hard. both figuratively and—

there’s a loud sigh from you.

clearly tired from the day’s activities of ushering in freshman after freshman, you lugged your body into the bathroom. the same rehearsed words have been leaving your mouth as your cheeks hurt more and more by the hour, only to repeat it all over again the next day.

“you look like shit,” it’s muffled by the way the toothbrush is stuffed into his mouth, foam peeking out from the corners of his mouth and you’re trying not to tell your roommate (and boyfriend) to shut up — you didn’t have the energy to do, much less say anything and you certainly didn’t have time for your lover’s clever quips so late in the night.

it didn’t help that you recently had an argument too; well, trivial to him but much more major to you. it was a matter of getting gojo to keep his laundry properly and to clean up after himself once he’s gotten himself comfortable in the relationship. it’s not like he doesn’t want to — he was cleaning up in the first place to impress you — but now since he’s got you, it’s like he simply expects you to act as his little wife when it was a shared space. the exact argument you used against him.

“satoru— this is a shared apartment! you can’t just leave tteokbokki cups lying around with the gochujang sauce still inside! it’s going to attract cockroaches and ants!” you gesture wildly, the sheer amount of trash lying around making you even sicker than you thought possible. getting paid to usher in freshmen and then coming home to this? it felt like every cent of your hard work had gone to waste.

there’s only a grin on his face, “you’re so attractive when you’re mad, baby.”

that was another thing: the lack of seriousness that gojo possessed at times, simply talking to piss you off, simply living to be the bane of your existence. “and you’re fucking unbelievable, gojo satoru. clean up— or don’t,” you made sure to lace that last word with venom, “i don’t care.”

that seemed enough for gojo to snap out of his stupor, “no, no— princess, fuck, i’m s—” his brows furrow when he briefly spots the thickening glaze of your eyes, possibly filling with tears before you’re marching into your room to slam the door and he swears to himself. satoru had never felt embarrassment and shame and sadness like that day; having just taken a shower but his skin was sweaty and uncomfortable and his heart sat right at his feet.

gojo swears he never wants to hear you say his full name ever again.

since then, it’s been a little tense between the two of you. geto had noticed it on movie night, shoko realised you haven’t been looking at your phone as often. hell, even prof. yaga had to tell you that you were distracted way too much lately, and it’s only been two days.

satoru tried to possibly take back what he said with whatever powers he didn’t possess, but he only gets another sigh from you as you squeeze the toothpaste out and start brushing your teeth, not even sparing him one glance in the mirror.

and yet while he was the first one to start his nightly routine, he’s left to be the last again from the way he’s unable to stop staring at you, a recurring trait of his whenever you were in the same room with him. it’s a testament of how attracted he was to you — at how his shirt slips off your shoulder from how big it was because even when you were mad at him, you forgot about that little detail. gojo’s eyes trail from your exposed shoulder to your legs and back up again to your fatigued face. he skims over the shape of your eyes and down to your nose and he thinks he’s the luckiest man to be brushing his teeth beside you now, blessed with seeing such an intimate side of you even if it’s as simple as this.

until gojo’s eyes fall upon your mouth as your toothbrush is doing its job of perfect innocence, cleaning some teeth, scraping off the bacteria on your tongue, except when you’re switching it from side to side all your roommate can think about if it was his dick instead. and the thought leaves him as fast it comes.

all you do is shoot him a weird look through the mirror when gojo exclaims like he was a vampire whose skin burned under the bathroom lighting, and he regains composure with ease.

“i’m fine! fine. doing a-okay.” satoru speaks through the foam and it’s spraying everywhere and you’re too tired to care before you hear another gulp when you move your toothbrush again, “sorry! sorry— continue please.”

gojo is starstruck for an entirely different reason, now, watching the toothbrush making bulges at the side of your mouth as it moves in and out and he’s left to fantasise about the many, many times you’ve gotten him in you and the warmth of everything. he can feel himself get hard under his sweatpants when you start brushing your tongue and you gag and he wants to die standing in this 30 square foot bathroom because the last thing he wants to do is sexualise something perfectly mundane.

gojo isn’t like that (well, most of the time. can’t blame him for finding you smokin’ hot).

“what the fuck is your problem?” you’re speaking through your foamy mouth now, spitting it out and proceeding to clean up with no clue of what you do to him. satoru on the other hand — terribly excited that you’d even open your mouth to talk to him after two days of endless silent treatment. 

“nothing, baby. it’s nothing, i promise.” you can’t lie at the way your heart jumps at the familiarity of it all, of being in such proximity to your lover, doing domestic things like these and the ‘baby’ and yet your pride is holding you back on everything.

you go straight to sleep, too, not wanting to entertain anything related to gojo satoru and you feel just a little bad when he looks at you with those baby blues and a sweet pout on his face. he looked especially pathetic in the bathroom, like a deer caught in headlights at just the presence of you and you want nothing more to apologise. it’s never that easy, though; you needed a promise, you needed the reassurance that he wouldn’t be leaving you to clean up after him again.

all these worries are willed away when you finally fall into slumber in your own room, body craving the warmth of satoru unknowingly. you had stolen a pillow the day before and it’s been the sole source of his scent, the only thing to keep your mind sane.

gojo’s heart drops again upon seeing you already deep in sleep, thinking he had a chance to catch you before you did, but the needines for you never goes down even now. he cannot take his mind off the way you’d run your hands through his hair or tangle your legs with his, satoru’s limbs recall the memory of you playing with his fingers and how you like to curl your arms around his neck. 48 hours is enough for him to go insane, and also maybe at how your leg was propped up on his missing pillow, hugging it so tight to your chest. you hadn’t bothered to wear pants either, so all he can see is the shape of your cunt under.

he stalks into the room and kneels in front of you, finger so tempted to run along your folds and make you wet, staring a whole minute and weighing his options until decides he doesn’t deserve it, turning away and closing your door softly.

“going now, satoru.” it’s soft when you mumble it, not even wanting him to hear before you’re stopped. you’re donning the uni orientation shirt and eyebags, a soggy sandwich from yesterday staining your bag with its smell. “what?”

“made you somethin’,” gojo’s cute like this with a frilly apron and hair band, still managing to tower over you despite the adorable get-up he’s got on, “it’s a bento.”

and you wish you could just melt the pride that runs through your bones and kiss him all over, and you break just a little. a small smile and you walk up to him, grabbing the lunchbox and pecking him softly on the cheek, turning away fast enough to not catch his fangirl moment — because you knew you wouldn’t be able to make it on time if you did.

“we still have to talk later when i come back, okay?” you call out as you put on your shoes and you steal one last glance at him, “and today’s laundry day. you know what t—”

“yes ma’am!” gojo salutes and you roll your eyes with a small smile, locking the door behind you with heat on your cheeks and the pounding of your heart. it was difficult not to break when it came to satoru, when he’s trying so hard to win back your words and love, and so tonight you’ve decided after the tiring week is when you’d finally stop running away over such a small matter.

although, gojo got caught up in something way beyond your expectations even if he had his initial intentions (which involved ordering your favourite takeout and kneeling at the front door in apology). 

your roommate lays around for a bit before grabbing some lunch and heading to the back room, a little extension attached to the kitchen with a tune on his lips. it’s clear he’s a little driven by your little innocent peck, a sign that maybe you weren’t so mad any more. for the next hour, satoru is contently doing the laundry with a smile, until—

the panties you threw in before showering must have fallen to the bottom of the pile, the same one he saw you wear last night and he thinks maybe the low humming buzz he heard last night wasn’t his imagination because when he picks it up he can smell your arousal. there’s a stain from the previous night and another pool of juices from this morning and he now knows that it wasn’t the kettle.

“dirty girl,” he grins, “both yesterday and this morning?” he’s thought about this for the longest time, always holding himself back because you found him weird enough even before you were dating, always letting you do your own separate load for your undergarments. but since you’ve gotten together, you were more comfortable, throwing it into the same laundry basket — the compulsion has never been this strong before.

gojo puts it up to his nose and smells like the pervert he is, among other times: teasing you with a hand down your pants when the two were over at your dorm, fucking you in the kitchen as they focused on the movie, pounding into you with the windows open, and he almost ascends at the scent of your pussy juices. there’s a spark that goes down right to his core and he palms his bulge unconsciously, coming to his senses when the washing machine beeps.

he impatiently puts in the settings and leaves, heading straight for your room and is hit with all reminders of you. the perfume you used this morning and the body wash you share with him, walking almost under a trance to your bed where he moans at the softness of the sheets as he falls face first. it doesn’t take him much to scoot to your pillows, but the need for you is just too much.

gojo grinds his cock into the bed, whining softly as he whiffs up your natural body smell, hips moving on their own accord as he manoeuvres a pillow between his legs. he humps it like a dog, groaning and moaning and the strain on his dick is just too much, balling up the undies in his hand and his body tenses at the friction. 

“baby . . f-fuck—” satoru’s voice is high-pitched and choked, all the thoughts of you culminating into one big ball of desperation for you and he cums in his pants, tainting the fabric a darker colour than before. but he’s not done — his hips still move against the pillow, thrusting into the fluff as he rides out his orgasm, moans muffled by the pillow. “miss you . .”

gojo misses you more than anything, feeling so much distance even within the house that he flips over — by now the sun shines its golden rays a little less. the afternoon is winding down into a cool evening — and pulls at the waistband of his pants. he’s still sensitive, wrapping a hand around his hard cock and pumping and the sound that leaves his mouth is borderline slutty. with another smell of your cunt, he strokes his dick, using his cum as lube.

“oh . . r-right there— mhnng . .” satoru’s hips buck into his hand, squeezing and thumbing at his cock before unbundling your panties and wrapping them around his shaft. the sight drives him insane. sure, it’s one of your more everyday underwear, neutral in both design and colour but he can feel the fabric get wetter and wetter from how much cum he’s pushed out earlier and that’s enough to keep his hand pumping. “s-sweetness, cummin—”

gojo’s head makes a dent in your other pillow from how hard he was pushing it, back arching at how the warmth in his hand will never compare to your mouth or pussy. he can already feel his second orgasm approaching, your room filled with the squelch of his cock and his sounds and he shoots his load with a drawn out moan all over your panties and his stomach. his cum is always so much, dripping down his pelvis and onto his hand and also . . yours?

your boyfriend lets out the girliest scream you’ve ever had the pleasure of hearing, scrambling up to the headboard when he sees you hovering over his body. he accidentally kicks your chest in the process and you have to clutch it with a small “ow”, although a small smile is still present on your face.

“having fun?”

“dude, what the fuck?” 

your smile drops, “dude?”

gojo suddenly has his hands moving frantically, “nonono— no, sorry, i meant baby!”

you sigh, sitting back down on your heels as you take in the sight: his still hard cock and the sweat lining his body. his bangs are wet and your eyes flit down to your soiled underwear.

“uh . . i was just borrowing it,” gojo nervously chuckles, handing the cum-filled panty to you and your brows furrow.

“darling, you can’t just give someone back their clothes with your come on it.”

and your boyfriend pouts again, “i really am sorry. and for everything else, too. for not cleaning up and for being a general bum,” this is why you also (sometimes) favoured his unseriousness when you were talking about difficult things. the amount of times you had succumbed to his touches and kisses when you were mad at him was much better than your pride. gojo brings you onto his lap like his dick wasn’t just out, and you relish in the closeness you’ve missed.

“i need you to show me you mean it, ’toru,” he lights up at the nickname he loves just as you point a finger in his face, “aht! calm down. don’t think we’re all buddy-buddy again.”

“i will try,” gojo is smooth, taking your hand into his while the other brushes the hair away from your eyes. you lean into the touch, “and i will try until you see my efforts.”

you smile at his honesty, “and i’m sorry for ignoring you as well. it was childish of me.”

gojo hums, bringing your face in to plant a kiss to your lips, “i missed you like crazy, princess.”

you laugh, “yeah i can tell, i miss you too.” you gesture to all of him and he whines softly at the joke, squeezing your waist.

“you’re not weirded out?”

his breath hitches when you move down his body and situate yourself between them, finger tracing his tip and teasing him, “why would i be? i’ve literally fucked myself wearing your shirt.”

gojo gulps loudly, “you did w-what?”

“i’m just better at not getting caught.” all words are taken from his lips then, when your mouth engulfs him and the feeling of it is just pure insanity. gojo pants and his thighs tense, a hand gathering your hair into a ponytail to keep it from interfering. his eyes fixate on the way your suck him off, recalling the last time he’s watched you do that was in a damn bathroom. 

“y-your mouth—” satoru swears under his breath when you swirl your tongue around his shaft, the tip of his cock making bulges on the side of your mouth and it only leaves him calling out your name time after time.

“y’know,” you gargle on him, slurping up his cum, “i know what you were thinking starin’ at me last night.”

gojo snaps his fingers and mumbles out a shaky damn, because he can always be read like an open book. he just didn’t know he was that obvious.

“looked cute staring,” you mutter around him, “like a little puppy.”

you slap his thick length on your tongue, moaning when you feel just how heavy it is, “you just wanted this so bad, didn’t you?”

gojo whines at your words, nodding, and you go back to the abuse on his dick, bobbing your head up and down as your hand plays with his balls. the other moves over his torso, at the porcelain skin there and you can feel his stomach heaving at your ministrations.

“are you close, baby?” you ask mindlessly, the lewd sounds of his fat cock in your mouth sending sensations right down to your sex as well. you never really listen to his answer, taking a deep breath and sucking in your cheeks and soon you’re deep throating your lover.

“mh— mmf . .” sounds deep from your throat as your nose buries itself in his pubes, and satoru struggles to hold your tantalising stare. he can feel his tip hit the back of your throat and his moans are quick and high-pitched.

“cumming— ’m cumming,” before you come off and you go back to your pace and gojo’s small moans descend into longer ones at the feeling. his eyes roll back right into his skull as he twitches in your mouth and soon he’s spilling right into your throat and tongue.

“baby—” satoru’s eyes are squeezed tightly shut, “s-shit . .” and the sheer amount of cum always takes you off guard, sputtering over it when you drag your lips off of him. your boyfriend’s eyes are hooded and darkened, looking at how the strings of his semen droop from your mouth and connect right to his weeping tip.

“eugh, eat more veggies, ’toru. you’re bitter as fuck.” you say with a giggle, swallowing nonetheless as you wipe a hand across your mouth, “thanks for the meal.”

his spirit has certainly ascended, chest heaving and legs jelly from that mind-blowing orgasm. even he takes solace on the headboard, looking down at you with tired eyes.

“but i’m not done,” you truly weren’t, driving satoru to the brink after you’ve milked him to his limit, and yet he wouldn’t have it any other way as he thrusts into you, having had a new burst of energy after seeing your confidence wane once you’ve gotten his dick in you.

it was cute — your words breaking up and staggering as you sink down for the first time after two days, reduced merely to whines as you ride him. gojo lets you have your fun for a bit before he properly flips you over, pressing down on your lower back.

“fuck yourself onto me, baby,” he can tell you’ve missed him too by how you squeeze around him, a sly grin on his face when your hips push back onto him. he sees the tight hold you have on the silk sheets and the soft whimpers leaving your mouth. “good girl . . juuust like that.”

you’re jerking forward when he slaps your ass, letting it ripple from the force of both of his hand and your hips. but he takes over soon enough, grabbing both your arms and pulling you gently off that you’re hanging limply. and even while he does that, he’s still focused on the way your lips spread to accommodate him together with a ring of white at the base of his cock.

“that feel good? huh?” gojo mumbles, loving the way you arch your back and your head lols forward, just letting him do whatever he wants to you. you’re too far gone to even quell the ache in your thighs, too distracted by the wetness of your pussy.

“feel s— s’good, satoru—!” you moan out and like always satoru is indecisive in everything, now tugging you up to rest chest to back. “g’na cum!”

your legs spread more and more as your lover keeps you tightly pressed against him, an arm around your neck and the other, waist. wordlessly, he guides your face to the side, meeting your mouth in a sloppy, drooling kiss and his hips stutter at the way you mewl into his mouth.

“that right, princess?” he asks into your lips, relishing in your face contorting in pleasure. eyes reaching heaven and your mouth parted cutely even more when he props a leg up and his cockhead presses against your cervix ever so lightly.

“y—yeah . .” it’s a mix between a whine and a moan before the only rub of your clit from satoru’s hand sends you reeling and you’re trembling in his hold. you can feel your juices coat his length just as he cums as well, too obsessed with the way your cunt feels aeons better than his pathetic hand. he litters your skin with groans of his own, continue to fuck his cum back into you as you milk him dry with ropes and ropes of semen painting your womb white.

“good little girl,” he hums, and you sigh at the feeling of him cumming again, sensing him removing himself with you with an obscene pop! and you want to continue. you’re already moving your hips yet again, begging with small please’s but the happy-go-lucky song of the dryer interrupts the both of you. you scowl.

gojo laughs into your neck, and you’re left grumbling as he sets you down gently, letting you catch your breath before he presses a kiss to your sweaty cheek.

“i’ll handle it, baby,” satoru made a promise to you and he’ll keep it. he hurriedly pulls his sweatpants over his bottom half, “you just rest up.”

it’s not even two minutes later that you already miss him, trotting over to the laundry room in nothing but his shirt and you just watch as he removes the clothes with a certain tranquillity and delicateness that you’d like to see this sight more often and all you can muster in the moment is your arms around his middle.

and the sweetness of the moment is immediately ruined by gojo, “let’s fuck here. whaddya say?” 

your roommate and lover can only grin when you turn him around to smack him (“it’s!” slap “not!” slap “sanitary!” slap “here!” slap), finally happy everything’s back to normal. satoru simply presses a kiss to your temple.

[paceprompting]

Need a Ride?

written for ‘snowfall’ wc: 1000 # | steddie | rated: g | cw: non archive warnings apply | tags: alternate first meeting, pre-season four, feat. steve harrington's beemer

@steddieholidaydrabbles

He was sending his van right to the dump this time. He meant it.

Stupid engine he’d had to drop all his profits on for the third time crapping out right in the middle of the road. Leaving him to hoof it back to the gas station and hope that Wayne was home from his shift to get the call.

And of course, the snow season had to start today.

Head ducked against the wind, with only his battle vest and leather jacket against the bracing cold and snowflakes that stung his cheeks and nose where it wasn’t covered by his hair. He was just glad that there were streetlights so he wasn’t veering off into nowhere in the dark.

He could barely feel his fingers in his pockets by the time he made it to the station. He was still shivering, so he wasn’t quite at the point of hypothermia, but even dialing the numbers on the pay phone was a bit of a feat in itself.

Eddie put his back to the wind as the phone rang. And rang. Eventually, it rang out.

Wayne must have picked up a double shift. Not unusual, especially this time of year. Honestly, Eddie should have guessed that in the first place and called the plant instead of the trailer.

And he didn’t have enough change for another call. Guess he shouldn’t have stopped to buy that pack of cigarettes. That he’d already opened and smoked one from before his shitty van broke down.

“Fuck,” Eddie hissed, smacking the receiver into the hook.

He could trudge back to the van and settle in for the night. But without heat, he’d be just as well off trying to walk home in the wind and snow. And he wasn’t going to be getting sympathy with how he was dressed for spare change, much less did he have anything to deal to someone who would give him the time of day.

If he didn’t figure this out quick, he was going to get arrested for loitering.

Although…

“Munson?”

He perked up despite himself, recognizing the voice. Even if it wasn’t exactly someone he was elated to have run into at a pretty low point in his day.

Standing there under cover from the wind, the snow fell gently onto Steve Harrington. Of course it did. Settled on his hair and his jacket like powdered sugar on an overly-sweet dessert.

He wasn’t getting gas, pulled over and stood with the driver’s door open. One hand braced on the door and the other on the hood of his car, Steve stared curiously at Eddie. He was actually dressed for the weather, a puffy white and pale blue-striped monstrosity with fur around the hood.

Steve glanced at the rest of the gas station, noticing that his was the only car around.

“What are you doing here?”

Eddie stayed beside the payphone, in the wind and snow, but the farthest he could be from Steve. He’d dealt to him a few times, just weed, really, and only knew Steve by reputation. Last he’d heard, Steve had just dumped his two lackeys, Tommy and Carol and had slung ice cream at the Starcourt Mall until it burst into flames.

Why Harrington could care about him, Eddie had no idea.

“Van broke down,” he answered shortly, shoving his hands in his pockets even though the leather was nearly as cold as the wind. He gave a strained smile. “Stuck here.”

“Phone busted?”

“Out of money.” Eddie cocked his head, feeling bold. “Got fifty cents?”

It’d be enough for another call to the trailer and one to Wayne’s work for safety.

Steve raised both brows, and Eddie blanched. He and Steve were practically strangers, and he’d immediately hit Steve up for money. Even if he was known as the rich kid with parties every week because his parents were never home—Eddie was so far off his radar, he might as well have been gum under his shoe.

“I could give you a ride,” Steve said instead. “Forest Hills, right?”

A ride in the Steve Harrington’s Beemer. Sleek and maroon and drool-worthy.

The girls at school that would have literally slit his throat to be in Eddie’s place.

Eddie’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head, but he managed to find words and point back at the payphone with his thumb.

“I really just need to call my uncle. He’ll come get me.”

Steve leveled a gaze at him. “And you’ll spend an hour in the snow waiting. I’m not going to leave you out here to freeze.”

Eddie sucked his teeth, staring Steve down. He hated to give Steve the point of being right, but he was starting to lose feeling in his hands and his cheeks were stinging from the wind across his face.

He sighed, wetting his bottom lip. Or tried to, since the wet from his tongue only made his face freeze more.

“Fine,” he said, ducking his head as he trudged toward the Beemer. He didn’t dare stop to double-check with Steve, wincing as he pulled his hand from his pocket to open the door and slide inside.

The inside was immediately ten times warmer, blasting from the fans and Eddie nearly moaned. Until Steve’s door slammed closed and suddenly Eddie was inside Steve Harrington’s car. With Steve Harrington.

“You good, Munson?”

He was staring, he realized only after Steve spoke. If Steve wasn’t apprehensive about letting the school freak into his car, he was sure to be when Eddie acted as though he’d been raised far from civilization.

He forced a hard swallow. “Just surprised this isn’t all some trick. My type doesn’t exactly mesh with your type.”

Steve gave this chuckle, like an inside joke only he had any idea of.

“Right,” he said softly, and Eddie definitely felt as though he was way out of the loop on a new kind of Steve Harrington.

A kind he had a single car ride to figure out.

Part Two

[moonsgemini]

cinnamon girl - rafe cameron

summary: hating rafe cameron was easy to do when you were both teenagers, but after years a part and time spent thinking about one another one thing leads to another. Secret rendezvous between kook prince and kook princess ensue, finding any spare minute to be with each other without the judgey eyes of outer banks.

warnings: 18+, minors dni, fem reader, she/her, p in v, praise kink, semi public sex (a bunch of people are downstairs), fingering, oral f receiving, dirty talk, sneaking around, secret relationship, cussing, alcohol, enemies to lovers kinda

wc: 3.5k

an: another smutty smut. I have had this in my drafts for a bit & I just needed to finish it. It started out as being inspired by cinnamon girl by lana but I like don’t know what happened. also two posts in one day ???? who am I.

masterlist

In high school when y/n read Romeo and Juliet she fell in love with the tragic romance. She was astounded that love could be so intense and passionate. So much so that they were sneaking around behind everyone’s backs and the miscommunication ultimately leading to their deaths.

When she was sixteen she met Rafe Cameron. When her father introduced her to the tall blonde she didn’t think he would eventually be her Romeo. Especially not since he didn’t even smile or show the slightest interest in her. Their fathers had recently worked on a business deal together and had got along so well they wanted their families to get together.

She knew who he was and what he was like. Rumors run rampant on the figure eight. He constantly had snarky comments and remarks to make at her. Whether it be about her outfit, her likes, and especially about the boys she dated. y/n would be talking to Sarah about the boy she just went on a date with and Rafe would butt in with his two cents. He was a year older than her and he always made sure to act like he knew better because he was older.

“Fabian? You do know he like has dated half the cheer and volleyball teams,” Rafe scoffed as he stood in front of her and Sarah who were sat on the pool chairs outside. He had overheard y/n talking about the new guy she was seeing and Rafe couldn’t believe who the guy was. He also couldn’t believe she was dating at all.

Y/n looked at him with a glare, “I don’t remember asking for your input.”

“You could really use it though. Seems like you’re pretty fucking clueless at the fact that you’re a lot better than that asshole,” He rolled his eyes annoyed at the fact she couldn’t see how this escapade will end in heart break. He was only looking out for her so he doesn’t understand why she was so annoyed.

She chuckled bitterly, “Yeah like you care, besides I can find out for myself Rafe. I don’t need you telling me what’s good for me or not.”

Rafe rolled his eye because to him he did know what was good for her and Fabian was not. “Well when he ends up hurting you I’ll be ready to tell you I told you so,” He smirked taking a sip of his beer and walking away.

Sarah scoffed muttering, “Hate him.”

Y/n sighed watching him walk away and talk to her dad, “Couldn’t agree with you more.”

The first few years she knew Rafe she hated him. As much as you could hate him. He had always been extremely handsome, something she definitely noticed, and as he got older he became even hotter. In front of her parents he was charming and they interpreted his cocky demeanor as confidence. Whenever she complained about the Cameron boy being a prick they said they liked that Rafe knew what he wanted and always went for it, something that y/n could learn from him.

After she went away to college these family dinners became much smaller with only the parents and younger siblings. The kids having grown up and gone their own ways. Rafe was always on the mainland taking care of his dad’s business. Sarah had gone off to college so it was practically an empty nest. Occasionally during holiday breaks Sarah and y/n would join them for game night or dinner but Rafe still wasn’t around much.

She couldn’t lie and say he didn’t swim in her thoughts every now and then. Okay maybe more often then she’d like. Especially when he’d post on instagram and his bright smile would infect her mind on the nights she couldn’t fall asleep. She wondered if he ever thought about her but she doubted it since they never liked each other.

Rafe thought about her every day. Whenever he’d see her dad he’d find a way to bring her into conversation. He knew she was coming back soon and he made a note in his calendar to free his schedule on family dinner day because he wanted to see her. He needed to see her. Even if she probably didn’t want to see him because he remembers her hatred for him when they were teenagers. It makes a smirk appear on his lips as he thought about y/n rolling her eyes and sending witty comebacks his way.

-

It was winter break of her junior year of college when she made if back to the outer banks.

Y/n was surprised to see him drinking a glass of scotch with her dad and Ward as she walked downstairs. Her family was hosting dinner that time. Her first thought when she spotted hime was person he was even more handsome. His boyish look almost completely gone now that he was a man. She noticed he had been working out because his chest and shoulders seemed broader. Could have even gotten taller?

“Hey there she is,” Ward said as she made it all the way down the steps.

She smiled politely and joked, “Here I am, hope you didn’t miss me too much.”

Rafe smirked taking a sip from his glass. After Ward asked her more questions about college and the internship she was starting on the mainland that following summer. She could feel Rafe’s eyes on her as she talked to his dad. Seeing him had felt different that time. There was something different in the air.

During dinner they both stole glances at each other. Sometimes when she’d catch him staring at her he wouldn’t look away. Locking his eyes with her smirking and sipping on his second glass of scotch. His long fingers wrapped around the glass grabbed her attention. She watched his adams apple bob as he swallowed. No guys she knew in college drank scotch, because none of them were men like him.

He couldn’t believe how much more beautiful she had gotten in the last three years. She was a woman now and she held herself with so much more confidence than when she was seventeen. Rafe liked that.

“Oh honey give Rafe a tour of the new wine cellar. It is so magnificent our architect is amazing, maybe you’ll like him for a new Cameron employee,” Y/n’s mom said to the young adults who had been eye fucking for the last forty minutes. Y/n’s mom had been feeling her second glass of wine now which led to her being all giddy and generous. It’s always what her mom did. So whenever they went to charity events her mom just needed a glass of wine to sign a check for $10,000.

She was also an avid wine collector so for the last year they had been building a wine cellar under the house. It turned out beautiful. All wood and the lighting was moody. There were racks of wines all around the room and a few in the middle creating ailse. There were also a few big wooden support beams.

“Sure mom. Follow me,” Y/n said nodding her head towards the back. He smirked standing up and following her a few paces behind so he could stare at her back side. She led him out to the side of the house where the entrance was. If her mom knew what she ultimately helped happen she’d kill the both of them. Mostly for committing such a sin next to her most prized possessions.

Ten minutes into the tour Rafe had y/n pinned against one of those wooden beams. Her legs wrapped around his waist with her hands in his hair tugging whenever he’d hit that spot she could never reach on her own. No college guy she had been with was ever able to hit that spot either. Their breaths mixed together as their faces were close together, y/n’s skirt bunched around her waist. One of his hands was under her shirt tweaking her nipple.

His dick inside of her smoothly sliding in and out as he fucked her. Rafe knew he would never forget this moment. Never forget just how wet she had been, all the noises she was making sounding heavenly.

The first time was erotic. Years of built up sexual tension was finally getting released and it felt so good. His hands, his lips, his body felt better than she could ever have imagined.

When they were done Rafe kissed her, lips slotting naturally with her like they always belonged there. She was worried it was a one time thing but he wasn’t acting like it. That bubble of anxiety in her chest popping as he continued to be sweet to her. He had slowly pulled out and set her down gently. Tugging her skirt back down and helping her step into her panties he had tugged off in a frenzy. He fixed himself as she fixed her hair and makeup.

“That’s not the last time that’s gonna happen,” He said breaking the silence, “I like you too much to let you go.”

-

Since the first night they hooked up they have been sneaking around behind their families backs seeing each other. Rafe flew and road tripped to her apartment more times that winter and spring than he can count. When she came back for the summer he was practically living at her house. He’d sneak in at night like they were teenagers and he’d sleep over or stay up talking with her until she fell asleep then he’d sneak out. Or sometimes (a lot of times) they’d be doing something else that involved rafe’s mouth on her.

When y/n got her internship he’d meet her for lunch. They’d hangout in secluded areas on the beach and whenever they wanted to have a nice date night they’d stay a few cities over for the weekend to be alone and be a couple in public. For her birthday Rafe took her to the Amalfi coast for a few days where they spent most of the time on a boat, in a pool, or in bed having amazing sex. Y/n told her parents she was going to the lake for the weekend where she’d barely have service. Somehow they believed it.

They kept it a secret not because their families would be upset. It’s the opposite actually, they’d be too excited. Then there would be all this pressure on their relationship. The mom’s and Ward would be urging Rafe to propose because their families merging would make them look incredibly good and powerful in the developing industry. They’d want a huge wedding with a bunch of people they don’t know. There’d start to be talk about grand babies. All of figure eight would be talking about the kook prince and princess dating and on their way to live off their trusts. It would just be too much.

It was the last dinner party of the summer and Y/n was giddy. She hadn’t seen Rafe in two weeks because he had gone away on a business trip with his dad and then she had gone on to see her grandparents in New York. It was the most time they had spent a part in the last four months.

Tonight would be the last night they see each other for another couple weeks while y/n moves into her senior year apartment and settles into school. Rafe knew how important school was to her so he wanted to give her space to settle which she was grateful for because pre law was not easy. It would also be too suspicious if he randomly showed up to help while her parents are there.

This was a big dinner party so it was perfect. Y/n’s parents were hosting so it was all perfect. Every big family on Figure Eight, even the ones who only summer there, was at her house. The house was filled with many distractions since her mother also loved collecting art. No one would see them sneak upstairs to her room, especially with all the wine that’s being consumed.

Rafe had been dreaming about touching her since he last saw her. Oh and when he saw her he didn’t even waste a moment. As soon as he saw an opportunity to drag her upstairs to her bedroom he did. It was when appetizers were brought out and everyone had gathered outside. Y/n smirked the whole time knowing he wanted her as bad as she wanted him. Her short dress definitely did the job it was supposed to when she spotted his hard on when he first grabbed her.

His eagerness showing when he practically slammed her against the inside of the bedroom door. His lips on hers with fervor. They moved expertly against each other. Immediately finding their rhythm, no matter how many times they have each other it’s never enough.

His hands sliding down her waist and slowly going under her sundress. That’s when he feels nothing. She wasn’t wearing any panties. He instantly got harder and groaned into her mouth.

“You’re so fucking sexy,” He mumbled as he began trailing kisses down her neck.

Her hands tugged at his hair, “I missed you Rafey,” she whined not even feeling the slightest bit embarrassed about her eagerness. She had missed him so much.

He began walking her towards the bed. His lips still latching onto any exposed skin on her chest. They kicked their shoes off in the process, Rafe undid a few more buttons of his shirt. His tanned broad chest making her breathing uneven. When her knees hit the end of the bed she sat back crawling backwards towards the pillows. He followed her his knees spreading her legs.

“I missed you baby,” He gently cupped her face and stroked her cheek softly, “I can’t wait to make you cum.”

The soft gesture with the dirty words made her cheeks feel hot. That devilish smirk appearing on Rafe’s face like he knew that would happen. And that’s because he did know. Rafe knew her body and he knows just what to do to make her squirm. He looked too hot for her to even care how dirty he sounded. Sometimes she’d shy away but other times it made her putty in his hands. Y/n reached forward kissing him not so gently. They’d have time for the lovey dovey stuff later.

He began kissing down her body. Her chin then her neck, paying attention to that spot that made her hips jerk up for relief. His hand were gliding up her legs pushing her dress up around her waist in the process.

Rafe kissed her shoulders as he pushed her straps down in a teasing manor. He kissed her collarbones then her chest. Finally moving to her stomach and her pelvic bone. Oh had he missed this. His hands moved to her knees spreading her legs wider.

Y/n’s hands were in his hair already tugging. Giving an even harder tug when he reach forward giving her a teasing lick. She had to cover her mouth with one hand to not be loud.

Rafe wanted to tease her but he just couldn’t resist. He dove right in. His tongue finding her clit immediately, moving his tongue in circles. He alternated between that and licking down her slit. Tongue teasing her entrance. It was all so euphoric.

Her back arched off her bed. Y/n tried her best to keep quiet but a few moans slipped out. She hoped the chatter and music playing downstairs was enough to cover her noises. Rafe hummed against her core making the feeling even more intense.

“Oh god Rafey,” She sighed dreamily, “I missed your mouth. Know just what to do.”

He lives for the praise. It boosted his ego and encouraged him to do better and outdo himself. Hearing her breathy wins and moans muffled by her own hand were making him impossibly hard.

As he sucked and licked her clit he reached around and abruptly slipped a finger into her wet center. Her thighs practically suffocating him as he moved in and out of her touching that perfect spot inside of her. He always made her cum and he always did it fast. Before she met Rafe she had only ever finished with her own hand or vibrator.

“I’m gonna cum!” She whisper shouted.

Rafe moaned, “Cum for me baby.”

It felt like electricity was going through her body as she came. His movements relentless until he knew she was satisfied. He began to slow down as she came down, leaving her with one final lick. He kissed the inside of her thighs softly before crawling up to her again. She pulled him forward needing his lips on hers. She moaned at her taste on his tongue.

“I need to be inside you,” Rafe groaned as he felt one of her hands reach down and palm him through his pants.

“Please fuck me,” She batted her eyelashes at him knowing it always got her what she wanted.

He groaned again before sitting back on his feet so he can unbutton the rest of his shirt. Y/n sat up pulling her dress all the way off. Rafe made quick work of his pants pulling them down his legs.

His member slapped against his stomach, her mouth watering at the sight. Rafe was created with care, everything about him was perfect to her. He grabbed his length pumping it a few times before he rubbed his tip through her folds. Spreading her wetness around, his eyes rolled back at the feeling.

“Oh please please put it in,” She whined, “I need you so bad Rafey.”

“Baby your wish is my command,” He smirked and thrusted into her slowly pushing in inch by inch.

“Yes yes yes yes,” She chanted in pure bliss. Y/n didn’t care how desperate she sounded.

Rafe sighed as he began moving slowly. She was so tight and warm, even better than he remembered. He knew he wasn’t going to last long but he would make sure she came again before he did at all. He hit that spot inside of her that made her eye’s roll back and toes curl.

“Taking me so good my love,” Rafe encouraged as he picked up speed.

He grabbed one of her boobs and brushed his thumb over her hardened nipple. He leaned down and placed the other one in his mouth sucking and licking gently. All of the stimulation had her body feeling like it was on fire. He released it with a pop and went back to capture her lips in his. Y/n’a hands gripped his hair and clawed his back

“I’m gonna cum babe,” She moaned, “Yes right there, oh oh god.”

“Yeah baby cum for me,” He sighed, “Fuck I’m gonna cum too.”

Her eyes rolled back at his words, “Please cum in me, fill me up please please,” she blubbered feeling overwhelmed by the orgasm that was about to take over her body. The sounds of his deck sliding in and out of her wet pussy made him reach the edge. Everything about her was so sexy from the noises she made to the way she looked sprawled out below him.

Her words made him pick up his pace pounding into her. He felt her clench around him knowing she was coming. She moaned and scratched his back as she came. Biting her lip to not let anymore loud noises slip out of her. He came inside of her with a groan. Rafe continued to pump in and out of her slowing down as he came down from his high.

He swore he could cum again just looking at her all fucked out. Her hair all over the place, lipstick smudged and probably all over his face.

After a few minutes of catching their breaths Rafe pulled out gently. A whine leaving her lips at the empty feeling. Rafe got up going to her bathroom to get a towel to clean her up. When he came back he dabbed her center cleaning up.

“I missed you so much Rafe,” Y/n said breaking the silence.

He leaned forward kissing her knee, “I missed you more my love.”

“You think anyone heard?”

He shrugged, “Don’t think so. If they did then oops.”

She laughed, “Don’t say that Rafe, then we will get caught.”

He smirked as he laid next to her again opening his arms as an invitation that she gladly took. Resting her head on his chest and he leg wrapped around his waist. One of his hands stroking her hair and the other rubbing up and down her body slowly feeling all her exposed skin.

“Lets lay a few minutes then get back to hearing my dad talk about business for hours,” Y/n said savoring the feeling of laying with him.

“I love you,” He kissed the crown of her head a few times.

She smiled, “I love you. Sneak over tonight?” She asked looking up at him hopefully.

“Read my mind,” He smirked.

[louisferrignojr]

i have all sorts of criticisms for 911 as a show overall, for the 8x06 bucktommy storyline specifically, and for tim minear as a writer and showrunner. all valid criticisms and things I'm allowed to do as a queer viewer, because it relates to the writing choices, regardless whether they are influenced by external factors such as actor availability, budgets, or network demands and restrictions.

but you won't see me turning on oliver stark like a fucking rabid delusional buddie shipper.

using my logic and basic knowledge about the world of television, i can't put any blame on him for this shitfest. you won't see me coming up with ridiculous theories that he hates lou (#1 buddie talking point since the beginning) or that he got tim to write the episode this way (he's just a bloody actor ffs), that he hasn't done enough to champion the ship (you want him to be a bucktommy warrior?), because guess what?

say he promoted the relationship on his personal instagram, say he hyped it up more in interviews, say he interacted with shippers online or showcased more bucktommy fanworks... and the pair broke up in 8x06? because he doesn't write the show? you could then argue oliver engaged in queerbaiting, because the show did not deliver the queer content he promoted.

and isn't that what he was accused of anyway, before he deleted his twitter? doesn't it make sense that he might want to be careful about this?

and given the harassment he's had to endure from buddie shippers, i find it perfectly acceptable to answer buddie questions diplomatically because we know what those people are fucking capable of. it makes sense to me that he doesn't want to anger them.

at the end of the day, i'm not defending him. i've said before i'm deeply disappointed with his comments in the TVline interview and the way he doubled down in that instagram post. he has lost my respect and i no longer think he's a good ally to bisexual people specifically, because when you are playing a bisexual character, you have the bare minimum obligation to listen when real bisexual people are telling you that you fucked up. yes, i would like to see him acknowledge his wrongdoing and show that he understands the issue and why the things he said were biphobic. no matter how badly he fucked up, he should be allowed to reflect and make amends... because he's a human being and that's what the weewoo show is about. redemption arcs and second chances all around, folks.

but - he's literally just an actor and a celebrity. i expect nothing. i'm not holding out hope. i spare him no mind. i don't hate him and i'm not angry with him because i never idolised him. because i don't know him beyond the persona he shows the world. no one does. we can infer things based on what we see and hear, but there's really no way to know how much of that is his authentic self.

anyway. just my two cents 🫶

[magnoliasforyourmedic]

I was in my foxhole on my machine gun about twenty feet away. The krauts really gave us a laddering that time, and guys were running over from other companies hollering, "We need medics, get some medics!" We told them, "Jesus Christ, we ain't got no medics to spare!" When Joe Toye got hit and then Bill, Hank Hanson told me and Ed Joint to run to the other woods and try and get another medic. I said, "Hank, they're coming over to us trying to get medics!" The only medic around was Roe. He was running around trying to take care of everybody, and he got right in there with Bill and Joe to try and stop the bleeding. They were both in bad, bad shape. I didn't think they were going to make it. None of us did. If you saw them, you wouldn't have given two cents for them. Their legs were hanging off them. I can't describe it. They were in bad shape. But they were calm.

— Babe Heffron on the artillery barrage that wounded Bill Guarnere and Joe Toye in the book he wrote with Guarnere, Brothers in Battle, Best of Friends

[luvendiary]

of moons and crowns / r. lupin

remus lupin x reader; royal!au

part 2

a/n: hiiii! i've been mia for a bit now. life's been pretty hectic. i've had this one on the drafts for a really long time, so in my spare time i've been slowly adding to it, and i think i got carried away. there's a part 2 in the works, so let me know if you'd like to see that. also i'm really sorry for all the requests i haven't put out. there's some that i have already started. i'll try my best to get to them. but honestly, i try to work on what inspires me rather than the order in which they were sent since i can't dedicate a lot of time to this anymore because of college. as always, let me know what you think. also, i think this is the first marauders fic i publish!

summary: the life of a servant in the palace was hectic. the life of a servant in the palace who so happened to get along with the princes, was even more so.

It wasn’t everyday that a royal ball was announced. Especially not one where the three crowns would be attending. 

The kingdom was buzzing with excitement, and even whilst doing your daily chores you could not be spared of the gossiping and chattering.

“Do you think that both Black princes will attend?” one of the maids -Lucy- asked dreamily from across the small pond you were washing your clothes at. 

“I sure hope so!” another chimed in. “But I have my eye on the Crescentwatch prince…” she continued dreamily.

“I’ve heard he is quite handsome”, you said with a giggle. As you couldn’t help but to offer your two cents of the conversation. 

“You already have two handsome princes in your palm,” she said in a joking manner. “Leave some for the rest of us.”

“I can assure you Eva, that Sirius and I have no romantic intentions with each other. And as for James…well, he is James”, you explained simply as you splashed a bit of water into your fellow maid,

Your friendship with the princes was a strange phenomenon. Royalty would usually limit themselves with interactions amongst their social ranking, however thanks to your time working with the Most Noble House of Black, an out-of-odds friendship had sparked with the heir. Truth was, your time with them had not been a fairy tale. In fact, it had been quite the opposite. You had experienced their abuse and mistreatment first hand whilst working for them. And last time the Blackhaven monarchs had visited the kingdom, they made sure to make your life impossible, just for old times sake. You were no stranger to the Kingdom of Blackheaven’s tyrant rulers. But you were also no stranger to the kindness of their heir. Sirius Black had been your only distraction from the torment of the monarch’s unending chores.

Your friendship with Sirius started one night when he found you out in the gardens after a particularly cruel punishment from King Orion. Your hair was a mess, and angry tears had rolled down your blotched face. 

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

You had been pacing angrily and muttering to yourself about how you would give him a piece of your mind one day. How you couldn’t care less about losing your head if that meant you could be far from them. 

In a moment of pure anger and frustration, your hand flew out in a fist and hit a tree. You had immediately regretted that, as all you received back was a pair of bloody knuckles. 

“You might want to be more careful”, an amused voice said, immediately flooding you with panic. The previous heat that had been flowing through your body because of the anger vanished. Being replaced with dreadful cold instead. 

“Your majesty…” you breathed out, as you straightened your posture. There in front of you stood Sirius Black in all his glory. His long hair was tied up, and his white shirt was sloppily tucked in his waistband. 

For a brief moment you considered acting as if nothing had happened. As if he hadn't caught you cursing the absolute hell out of his parents. But you were tired. You could not put up a front anymore.

Your body deflated visibly once again, and you ran a hand through your hair. 

“I would say that I’m sorry for my imprudent behavior, my prince. But that would be a lie”.

A moment of silence passed between you two. You patiently waited for him to say something. A death sentence maybe. However the next thing that came out of his mouth was far from that. 

Laughter boomed from deep within his chest, making your head snap up immediately. Was he mocking you? Was death just a joke to him? For a brief moment you chastised yourself from expecting anything different from the Black Heir. After all, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. 

“I would greatly appreciate it if you didn’t mock me. I doubt that death is a laughing matter, even for royalty”.

Sirius’ laughter dissolved into small chuckles. “Death? What do you mean?”

“My execution. I got punished earlier today because I poured the king the wrong type of wine. I highly doubt that you'll let me off the hook with just a warning for badmouthing them”.

A flash of anger and hurt passed through Sirius’ eyes before a soft grin adorned his features. “Lucky for you, I’m not my parents”.

Confusion made its way to your features. “So you won’t kill me?”

“Why would I do that?” he said approaching you. He inspected you for a moment before taking your hand and eyeing your bloody knuckles. 

He dragged you to a nearby bench and without hesitation ripped a part of his shirt before proceeding to carefully -but sloppily- wrap your wounds with it.

You stayed quiet through it all. The correct thing would have been protest and decline his acts of service. He was royalty after all, and you were supposed to be attending him. But you were so tired. 

“Let me see it”, he spoke up after a while. 

“What?” 

“Your punishment”.

You glanced up at him with tired eyes. You considered sparing him from the sight of the marks on your back. But to hell with everything. He should know what his servants were going through under his father’s reign. He was going to be king one day after all, and he needed to know if a change was going to be made.

You turned your back to him and carefully unbuttoned the back of your dress. The fabric had been scratching at your new injury, making it redder than it already was. 

There in between your shoulder blades was a deep scorch mark in the shape of  the king’s crest. The wound was deep from the several burnings you had gotten over the years. Some were even unaligned from their usual place. A result of your trashing and pleading for mercy.

You expected a gasp or an indication of surprise from the prince. But you heard nothing. Instead, from your peripheral vision you saw him uncorking a small vial of a dark purple paste. He dipped his fingers into it and carefully smeared it on your back. 

The cool sensation of the paste combined with his fingers on your skin and the stinging of your wound, made you tense up. 

“I’m no stranger to my father’s rage” he whispered.

Only then did it occur to you that the rumors of Sirius’ rebellious personality and his constant acting out in events might not please Walburga and Orion. 

“Has he branded you too?” you asked bluntly.

“Yes, but not with the family crest. That would mean that he’d had to consider me his property. And if it were up to him, he would have disinherited me a long time ago”, he explained as he closed the vial. “He prefers a simpler method when it comes to me”, he continued. 

You did not expect him to show you anything. Royalty tended to protect their honor in that way. They didn't want to appear weak, especially not in the presence of their subjects. But Sirius kept surprising you. Slowly, he untucked his shirt and lifted it just enough for  you to see the lash marks that peeked over his stomach and seemed to take root from his back. 

You didn’t say anything. Your hand twitched in your lap, aching to trace the scars and maybe provide the same attendance that he had offered you. But you stopped yourself and instead just looked at him, eyes full of exhaustion. 

“Why haven’t you abdicated? You can get out of here. I’ve heard of your friendship with Prince James and Prince Remus. Everyone knows that the Noblehaven royal family would take you in in a heartbeat”.

He chuckled. “I hardly think it's fair to leave my kingdom behind. I want to free my people of my parent’s torture. And I think that his anger is a sign that I’m going in the right direction. It means that I’m making  changes -changes he doesn’t approve of”.

You chuckled. “I’d hardly call getting drunk during the Queen’s Jubilee making changes”. 

He laughed. “No one ever speaks to me like that”.

“Does that mean that I just got myself a death sentence?” 

He smirked, “It means I like you. You say what you mean. Unapologetically”.

You chuckled and smiled to yourself. You wouldn’t admit it to him, but you thought you liked him too.

Ever since then, your meetings with Sirius had become more frequent. Whenever his father decided to punish either of you, the other would attend to their wounds. You would both bond over your dislike for his parents and would never fail to make the other laugh. 

It wasn’t until one particular bad punishment that Sirius decided he needed to get you out of there as quickly as possible. So against your wishes, he arranged for you to be presented as a “gift”  to the royal family of Noblehaven. 

“You can’t be serious!” you screamed as you stormed into his chambers.

“I’m always Sirius,” he said, unbothered by your anger.

“You can’t just gift me away! I won’t go!”

Sirius closed his book and slowly looked up at you. “I’ll miss you too. I’ll miss you so much. But I can’t keep seeing you get punished. It’s not fair. I already talked with James. He’ll take care of you. You’ll be in good hands, I promise”. You noticed a teary smile make its way to his face. “You’ll be safe”.

You tried to stay mad, you tried so hard to not break. But a sob managed to escape your lips and you crushed into his body as you wrapped your arms around his torso. 

“I can’t leave you Sirius. I can’t go knowing you’re still here. Who will take care of your wounds?”

He laughed, amused by your protests. Truth was, you did so much more than just take care of his wounds. He couldn’t imagine his life these past years without you. But for your own good, he will have to now. “I can manage”, he replied as he hugged you back and buried his nose in your hair.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

The Noblehaven royals had done right by their promise. They provided you with far more commodities than the Blacks ever did. You had also managed to befriend Prince James. You often found him in the halls and he made sure to send a flirty comment your way, which you always replied with a sickly sweet voice, pretending to swoon with his advances. Your whole act was amusing for him. Which is why he also liked to search for you whenever you had work to do, so he could chat your ear off. 

It was to no surprise then, that when the ball was announced, James had come running to you to give you the news. You were over the moon when you realized you’d see Sirius again soon, which had put you in a fantastical mood for the rest of the day. Perhaps in too good of a mood, since you had forgotten that Sirius would not be coming alone.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of your fellow maids, as they called out your name. You hadn’t realized you had been harshly scrubbing the coarse fabric against your skin, causing it to turn visibly red. You looked up to find the girls already looking at you with amused expressions.

“I think someone’s waiting for you,” one of them said as she subtly signaled to something behind you. 

Following her gaze, you came to find none other than James standing by the outhall of the gardens. Your heart immediately jump started. He could possibly bring news of Sirius.

“I’ll be right back,” you said, smiling apologetically at your friends.

The two of them giggled before easing your worries, offering to take your basket of unwashed clothes in with them if you weren’t back by the time they were done. 

You thanked them quickly before skipping over to the prince.

“Your highness”, you said as you curtsied.

James chuckled and offered you a little bow of his own. “My lady, I bring pleasing news for you”.

“Get over with it James!” you said as you punched him lightly. “Sirius is coming right? Will I be able to see him? Please don’t let me be their maid in waiting again!”.

“Calm down dearest”, he said as he patted the arm that had been previously interlocked with his. “The Blacks did send in a particular request for you, and unfortunately it’s not mine to deny”.

Your posture deflated immediately. You were so lost in your thoughts that you hadn't noticed James leading you to the guest wing of the palace.

“We're here…” he said as he let your arm go. 

Your eyes immediately went wide. “They're here already?!” you whispered harshly. “I can’t go in there! They’ll kill me if I show up like this!” you rambled as you pointed to the tethered dress you wore. 

“It’ll be alright. I won’t leave your side”, he assured you. Although his words did little to calm you down, you knew they couldn’t cause you actual harm in here. Which is why you weren’t throwing an absolute fit over the situation. You were a maid after all, and it was your duty to do as the royals requested.

You sighed and attempted to fix your clothes along with your wild hair which had begun to set itself free from the braid you had constricted it into just this morning. “I thought you were supposed to give me good news…” you mumbled before straightening up and reaching for the door handle, missing completely the grin James was trying to suppress.

You prepared yourself mentally for facing the two most terrible people you ever had the displeasure of meeting. But you were surprised to find one figure instead of two. He was the same as his father, except that he was totally different in all the right ways. His sharp features had never looked so beautiful to you, and his tied up hair was a good sign. He felt comfortable.

Your hands immediately flew up to cover your mouth and you felt your knees buckle. “Sirius…” you whispered as a huge smile morphed your face.  

“Well, don’t just stand there…” he said with a laugh as he opened his arms, inviting you in for a hug. 

You wasted no time immediately running up to him and jumping into his arms. “I’m so happy to see you!”

“I´m happy to see you too,” he said. You felt his chest rumble with deep laughter, and it just settled in the fact that he was here.

“Oh god…” you separated immediately from him. “Where are your parents? They're going to kill me”, you whispered frantically.

“That's the best part,” James jumped in as he wrapped his arm around Sirius cheerfully. “They are not coming”. 

The revelation that the dreaded Black monarchs were not attending the royal ball lifted a tremendous weight off your shoulders. The relief was palpable, and you couldn't help but feel grateful to whatever twist of fate had kept them away.

Sirius noticed your visible relief and chuckled, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "No need to worry. James and I have our ways of handling them. We convinced them that attending this ball would not align with their interests. Besides, they've grown tired of these social gatherings."

You exchanged a glance with James, who winked at you playfully. It seemed the princes had orchestrated this whole scenario to ensure your peace of mind. Your gratitude towards them deepened, and you couldn't help but smile at the thoughtfulness of your friends. You also couldn't help but to think of what Sirius had implied. It wasn’t in the likes of the Blacks to show weakness such as exhaustion. They would always make sure to show other kingdoms their coldness and unwavering manner. But if what Sirius said was true, maybe Walburga and Orion’s reign was coming to an end. Maybe it was finally time for Sirius to step up to the throne and finally lead Blackhaven into prosperity. No wonder he looked so healthy. 

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

As the days leading up to the royal ball unfolded, life within the palace took on a whirlwind of excitement and preparation. Noblehaven was adorned with flowers, banners, and elaborate decorations, creating an enchanting atmosphere in anticipation of the grand event.

Sirius and James, with their usual mischievous flair, took it upon themselves to involve you in the preparations. You had already told them -repeatedly- that your attendance at the ball was not assured, and even if it was it would not be as a guest, but rather as a servant. That did not discourage them, however, from imagining your dress, which was starting to sound more like an elaborate pastry to you.

In the midst of this bustling activity, you found yourself navigating the corridors of the palace on an errand to deliver a message for King Fleamont, James's father. The palace, as majestic as it was, could be quite confusing for someone not accustomed to its intricacies.

In your rush to fulfill your duty, you turned a corner and collided with a figure rushing in the opposite direction. Books and papers scattered across the floor, and the collision left both of you momentarily stunned.

"I'm so sorry! I should have been more careful," you exclaimed, hastily bending down to collect the fallen items. Heat rushed to your face, praying to whoever was listening that this mysterious figure was not any sort of royalty. 

A warm chuckle reached your ears, and you looked up to find a young man with sandy-brown hair and gentle hazel eyes, who was also crouched down, gathering the scattered belongings. Your first instinct was to plead for him not to worry about the mess you had just made, but one look at him had you speechless. 

"No, it's my fault. I was not looking where I was going," he replied with a smile, handing you a few loose papers.

Standing in front of you was none other than Crescentwatch’s own heir, Remus Lupin himself. 

You had heard James and Sirius talking about him. Everyone knew they were basically brothers. The other maids also talked a lot about him. His handsome face, his mysterious scars, his dreamy eyes, and his soft hair. But for some reason you had always seemed uninterested in the topic. You supposed that royal gossip wasn’t as entertaining when you were so close to it. You had enough things to deal with with James and Sirius, adding another royal to the mix didn’t sound as appealing, especially if he would be as rambunctious as the other two. 

Still, the prince’s handsome features were not lost on you.

“I'm so very sorry your majesty!” you said as you offered him a curtsy. 

“Oh please- that's not- '' his words were cut short by a louder voice coming from down the hallway that called your name.

“I've been looking all over for you!” James said as he jogged up to the pair. Next to him, Sirius’ grin widened as he realized who you had just bumped into.

“Ah! So you’ve finally caught the third prince uh?”

“I-” you looked frantically between the three men who now blocked your way to King Fleamont’s study. “I’m sorry, I should’ve looked where I was going”, you said frantically trying to get past them.

James laughed. “I hope that you’re on your way to try your dress on”, he teased.

“Are you sure you’d like to know about my dress or are you more interested in Princess Lili’s gown?” you shot back as you reorganized your papers and combed a hand through your messy-looking hair. 

Sirius laughed, Remus chuckled and James turned red. “That’s what I thought”, you mumbled pleased with yourself. “Besides, the only gown I’ll be wearing is my uniform. The fancier one, if you’d like details.”

Sirius groaned. “But you were supposed to be my date!”

You rolled your eyes and sighed. You would’ve loved to attend the ball with them. They were your closest friends. Despite that, you could not ignore your social standing. It would not be appropriate for a prince (a crown prince, at that), to be seen in such a formal event with a servant. 

“I already get enough comments on how I charmed my way into your bed and out of Blackhaven Sirius. I don’t need more of those, especially when they aren’t true.” 

Sirius sighed dramatically.

Remus spoke up then, “what about me?”

Your shocked expression made a small smile appear on his face. Up until now he had watched you retaliate James’ and Sirius’ comments with ease. Leaving you speechless was something he prided himself with. Even if you had just met a few moments ago, both princes would not stop talking about you. 

“What about you, your majesty?” you asked.

He chuckled at the title. “What if you were my date?”

You glanced around at the boys. James’ mouth hung open, and Sirius had an unbelieving smile on his face. 

“You sly dog…” you heard the latter mutter as you gently tapped Jame’s chin close. 

“Is that an order?” you asked with a small tilt of your head. You still weren’t sure where exactly you stood with him.

“It’s an invitation,” he replied, without missing a beat. 

After a moment of silence -and uninterrupted eye contact with the Crescentwatch prince- a small smile broke its way onto your face, despite you trying to remain serious. 

“Goodbye your majesty,” you said with a curtsy, before turning around and resuming your way to King Fleamont’s study. 

Silence remained amongst the three boys. Each still trying to comprehend what had just happened. 

“So the good news is…”, James said after a moment. “That wasn't a no”.

That seemed to break Sirius off his trance as he jumped onto Remus and started blabbering about how he didn’t know he had it in him. 

Remus however, did not hear a single thing his friends were saying. With a smile still gracing his features, he wondered what his next move would be.

[annabel-lee-nevermore]

Hey. I'm sure all of you have seen Red's post, which they chose to call an apology (though I beg to differ in some parts), where I was called out amongst many others. This whole situation is a mess and though there have been many posts already, I just want to add my two cents, as someone who was directly named. Apologies for how late this is compared to the rest of the situation, not trying to stir it all up again, I’ve just been busy. (Please note that everything I say here is my own take/opinions and I am not directly speaking for anyone else, any issues you have with anything said here are with me alone.) 

First of all, Red promised this post would be about the Crimson situation, the long prologue with the explanations of the "cliques" is completely unrelated and just an attempt to shift blame onto other groups for the situation blowing up as it did. This is especially horrible because of the fact that many of the people named are MINORS, who Red has constantly claimed to prioritize protecting, especially in the situation with Crimson exposing minors to NSFW. I'm not going to harp too much on the Crimson situation as I wasn't involved (or capable of being involved after my ban), though everything I have seen from Red has been a shitshow of mishandling, which they addressed, and I will give them credit for admitting they fucked up with it, and am VERY glad to see them step back from moderating, as I feel they were under far too much stress by both being highly active in the server as a mod and also trying to write a good story, and hope a larger variety of mods does the server good. I was there when the server hit 1k members, and knowing that the mod team didn’t grow until now (when last I heard it was around 6k?) feels like it would have driven anyone trying to moderate it insane. 

However, I am here to give my side of the story, which goes back to the drama with the confession blog "@/esoterichistoria", in which they were sent an anon ask which [paraphrased] asked why the account existed and what they got out of it, in a sense that implied they didn't believe the account should exist. This ask was not answered publicly and was screenshotted and posted in the hideout, one of the NON PATREON channels in the discord. Red then went on to reveal themselves as the person behind this anon ask which led to other people sending harassment to the account. I was firmly on the side of supporting EH, and wound up creating a post of my own  calling out the hypocrisy and "word of god" reliance on lore snippets sent by Red and Flynn in the discord, which when sent in the free channels would eventually disperse into the tumblr fandom. Unless I mistakenly shared a minor fact that was patreon exclusive (which would have only been shared to me by someone who was affected asking if they were right to be concerned about it) I did not intentionally state any patreon only information in any of my comments within and under that post. 

That post for me, was what happened when the straw broke the camel's back. I had seen several instances of fan to fan hostility (such as telling people off for using the tumblr "#nevermore webtoon" tag for confession blog related posts, but only for the original blog and not the second one that popped up during this drama). I was fed up with watching a fandom I truly loved fall apart, and felt that speaking up about it would be the only way to see any change within this issue. However, I will admit the post was written in a stress induced craze as I was at the end of finals and preparing to move at the same time, which definitely greatly impacted my capacity to truly think through why I should make that post in the first place, but I felt the only way to get the drama out of my head was to send it out into the void of tumblr, and then, through the next day when I had a few spare moments I responded to a few people asking clarifying questions with less than stellar tact. 

It was quite shocking for me to find out, just a day or so later (forgive me I am not the greatest with dates or timelines) that the Nevermore discord was gone from my server list, which I mainly noticed because I often use the emotes from that server in casual conversations with friends, and found my favorited emotes completely lacking of them. I had no message of why I had been banned, and shrugged it off as I hadn't been active in the discord community in ages, as I was busy with other things. 

A few hours later, Percy, who Red had reached out to directly (but none of the other members of our "clique" as Red puts it heard a peep) shared a truly baffling DM that consisted of refusing to explain and extrapolating reasons behind actions that did not exist to justify the ban. We laughed it off and moved on, as though we enjoyed the fandom and comic itself, losing access to the discord was no loss as of our lack of usage of it in the first place. 

I was in no way Stalking, nor were any of my friends. We had been members of a fandom who loved the comic and fandom, and had come to a point where our unpopular fandom opinions led us to feel a bit on the outside of the main popular opinion, and we were also just naturally shifting to different interests. 

This, alongside the fallout of having expressed opinions on Montresor and the specific ways that his relationship with Ada progressed. I DON'T see people who ship Montrada as supporting a "SA Fetish Ship", I just personally wasn't a fan of it and alongside my friends who shared the same opinion, was sick of being told that we were blatantly WRONG for having a differing opinion, and chose to distance ourselves because of the level of vitriol we had experienced, and some made a statement saying we didn't wish to associate with people who enjoyed the ship, which is a perfectly normal way to interact with fandom. There are definitely perfectly valid ways to interact with the ship, and even explore it in interesting ways, it is just ways that I personally am not interested in engaging with. 

(And just to point out the elephant in the room, yes I have a fic that focuses on Montrada, both because I saw a part of my former self in Ada and someone who hurt me in Montresor, and this fic was planned out long before Montrada was hinting at becoming canon in the comic. Though this fic is written in an explicit manner, it was on a site that allows that and was tagged correctly for those who wish to avoid it.) 

I know I'm trying to prove myself to people who have made up their minds on if they believe Red's statement, and I know for those who have their minds made up, nothing I can say will change that unless they are willing to, and I can't force that. I personally do not agree with many opinions Red holds, and find the act of plastering the usernames of people, including minors, that they dislike on a public tumblr post knowing they have a loyal fanbase who may choose to take it upon themselves to harass people out of a sense of vigilante justice, frankly abhorrent and irresponsible. Though I would like to believe that the Nevermore fandom is better than stooping to harassment, I know it is naive to believe in any fandom that this is the case, every fandom will have a few bad apples, even if the fandom at large is kind and passionate and supportive of fellow fans. (note: as of writing at least one person I've been in contact with have received direct harassment) 

As someone who has a tendency to come across as rude and bitchy when in a passionate argument/debate with someone, especially when an emotional connection to the subject is involved on my end, I know I may have been combative to an excessive degree and given myself a bad name. For anyone who has felt hurt in an argument with me, I do apologize, as sometimes I don't know the harshness of my words. I do quite enjoy a good argument, and when things get heated I do find myself being quite harsh, something many people do, especially when they have had a history of being the only one on their side of an opinion.  

Despite the drama, I do still love the comic, through a more analytical lens and with caveats of my own personal opinions perhaps, but I do truly love the characters, the world, and am curious to know what comes next in the story when it returns from hiatus. Though I don't believe I will ever have a positive view of Red interpersonally, I want them and Flynn to be able to continue the comic for as long as they feel they need to tell a complete story. I probably will continue to write fic and engage with the fandom, as in my opinion, Fandom is for the Fans, not the Creators, and I truly do love sharing my writing with the Fandom, and I have many fic ideas that I want to have a chance to bring to fruition. 

For those who don't wish to dig in deep on the older drama with the Montrada situation or my general drama hot takes, you can hop off here, and even if this didn't change anything for you I appreciate you taking the chance on hearing me out, as I am quite wordy and I know this post is already rather long. However, since Red’s post brought up these issues, I feel I should at least address them.

First off, on the accusation of stalking, I do feel Red may be pointing a finger and forgetting that three point back at them, as though I do understand wanting to have a grasp on who someone is when you feel wronged by them, going out of your way to construct a narrative of who's friends with who, and what they do in their free time, alongside congregating information about them to share publicly when even in the best case of you being correct their crimes were at MOST having an insular group chat and occasionally getting in arguments about unpopular fandom opinions or standing opposite your side in drama. 

By every metric, while sharing screenshots can be seen as in bad taste, doing so with a small group of friends in a private group chat is not the end of the world. The phrase "keep it in the group chat" exists for a reason, people often share with their friends things they may not say publicly, and that is perfectly okay provided it's not planning some sort of direct attack on someone. People going "ugh I don't agree with xyz and wish they'd see reason" to friends is not stalking, it's a bit of gossip between friends, and when it comes from something that began as a shared interest that brought the group together, there's no harm in it. However, congregating identifying information and sharing it publicly DOES have harm in it, because no matter how many times you tell your audience not to harass people, opening the doors for it makes it more likely to happen regardless.

Secondly, calling the post an apology was a half truth. Yes, the final paragraphs WERE an apology, but based on the situation and what was truly going on, the explanations of the Cliques was unnecessary and distracted greatly from the actual apology present. Especially as the context of “Clique 2” does NOTHING to add to the story of the situation with Crimson and why an apology is necessary. The situation was blown greatly out of proportion by adding on more context than the situation required, and is definitely the reason the controversy has grown so large. Not only was diverting to the explanations of the Cliques cluttering the otherwise potentially strong apology, it both works to paint Red as the victim to garner sympathy from loyal fans, and gives a target to go after for why the situation has grown so horrible, when a concise apology that left that all out would have cleared the air on the Crimson situation and not led to a large group of people who were unjustly called out and have their information blasted for anyone to see and opening them to excessive harassment. 

Finally, Speaking to Red directly, If you'll allow me to speak at you a bit personally for a moment, the way you framed things in your post regarding "Clique 2" to me in some regards comes across as a misinterpretation of criticism of the comic and its characters as a criticism of you. As a writer I understand how your work often feels like an extension of you, and criticism often feels personal, but to take a small group of people who share a similar criticism and extrapolate it to mean they're spreading vitriol about you is a bit extreme. 

(And in screenshots regarding the Prospero aromanticism issue that have been posted to tumblr, this seems to be a recurring pattern of seeing anyone who has concerns about how a certain aspect is being normalized within the fandom with encouragement from the creators, which regardless of intent comes across as endorsement, as an attack and trying to make an issue out of something that isn’t really that deep.) 

Anyways, the main situation regarding the Montresor and Ada ship happened over a year ago and I have no way to access or look back on what was said having been banned from the discord, there may be discrepancies in intent and execution so take all of this with a grain of salt if you'd like, but I never meant to say that you as the author were glorifying SA by having Montresor and Ada to exist as a ship. It was a mixture frustration with how Ada's characterization (as interpreted by what existed in the comic) did a 180 and how the relationship between her and Monty was framed and the fandom's manner of acting as if saying that it personally made someone uncomfortable they were just a hater trying to stir drama. The fandom's usage of the phrase “fun toxic” and overromanticizing when Monty had been consistently characterized as misogynistic (not a bad thing) and Ada's prior characterization didn't line up with the “mutually toxic” idea that was being spread. I'd be a hypocrite if I was saying that every ship had to be morally pure, I've written some pretty morally bankrupt relationships in my own original works. I just found that the way the fandom acted around Montrada at the time was really uncomfortable to be around as an SA survivor simply because of the way people were changing their opinions of the barking scene, which to me with just the context of the scene itself was not at all something Ada did consensually (or only did under coercion) and is a form of humiliation which is sexual harassment. 

It was never a moral righteousness witch hunt or anything, more just some fans pointing out how the portrayal of it could come off to people who was a survivor of someone who acted like Monty and that the energy in the fandom around it was uncomfortable and didn't actually leave room for nuance on the opinions of Montrada. I have always been a proponent of letting people ship what they want to, even if it’s personally not what I enjoy in the fandom. Perhaps the way it was portrayed on my end at the time didn’t come off the way it was intended, but there is a massive difference in my opinion between thinking anyone who enjoys a particular ship is evil and being personally uncomfortable with a ship and not wanting to engage with it within fandom, even with it being canon. And the preference for Morella and Ada was never upholding a "morally pure" ship as "better" than Montrada, it was simply preference from people who had already been shipping Morellada for a long time and didn't choose to abandon ship over Montrada becoming canon, only finding new reasons to continue holding that opinion. 

All in all. I’ll miss when the good times of the fandom were around, and definitely will stick around for season 2. I wish it hadn’t all turned out this way, as I’ve made great memories and friends because of this comic and community. To anyone who still has questions or something to say to me, my ask box and dms here have always been open. And hey, if Red or Flynn have anything to say to me, feel free to reach out. I’m open to a civil conversation if that's what’s desired. 

~~ Rose, of the “dark stalker Clique”

[suckerforcate]

Mint Choc Chip

Pairing: Kate Lethbridge-Stewart x fem!Reader

Word Count: 6712

Warning: 18+, face sitting, fingering, use of y/n like two times cause I couldn't think of a better way, Reader has mentioned breasts but other than that no mentioned genitalia

Summary: Kate and you have been best friends for years and you both kind of want more. But in the end it takes her kids to actually get you to admit to it.

A/n: So I randomly got some sort of kick of motivation and just did this thing in one day. Wtf? But hey, I'm not complaining, but the unfinished fanfic in my drafts might. But I just hope you like it, it's very long. It just kind of took the rains and wrote itself? Not sure what happened. Would love a comment, like or repost.

■----------------------------------------■

"You're still here." You stated softly, albeit not very surprised, as you stepped into Kate's office. It was well past 10 pm, and it had been a long, eventful day. She looked tired, exhausted by the day. You never liked her staying so late to work.

“Yes, why wouldn’t I be?” She said without looking up from where she was trying to finish some paperwork. You raised your eyebrows at that reply.

"Because it's half past 10?" You spoke and stepped a bit closer into her office. You were already wearing your coat and had a bag thrown over your shoulder. She laughed, finally lifting her gaze from the papers to look at you. “Oh please, I’ve been here much longer than that before, you know that.”

"Is that supposed to make it better?" You questioned, hands in the pockets of your jeans. She shrugged and put the papers down, then sat back in her seat, crossing her arms over her chest. “You’re still here too you know”

"Yes. But I stay this late every few months. You do it 90 per cent of the time." You pointed out. She raised her hands defensively, but it was clear she was struggling to think of a good comeback. “Just admit you care about me."

"Ok. I care about you." You simply replied and chuckled a bit as Kate looked a bit surprised. Her hands dropped, and she tried to think of what to say next but for once in her life, she was at a loss for words. “Oh uh, well uh, yeah-“

"Look at that. Kate Lethbridge-Stewart speechless." You said and grinned slightly. You stepped forward and closed the file in front of her. Then you lean forward and saved the file on her computer, turning it off after. "Come on."

Normally she had argued, but something about you had completely thrown her. With a sigh, she looked at you. “I do still have work to do, you know?”

You turned your head and looked at her. You smiled softly and booped her nose. "Yes. Tomorrow." You said and pulled back, standing up straight in front of her desk again. Arms crossed and looking at her expectantly.

She scrunched her nose and frowned. Despite the fact that you were younger than her, she couldn’t bring herself to boss you around. She sighed heavily and stood up.

“Fine. But I’m driving”

"Be my guest." You said and smiled triumphantly at getting her to stop working.

She grabbed her car keys and jacket and motioned for you to follow her out. “I’ll even stop to buy ice cream on the way home too."

"Really?" You jumped up and down a bit excitedly and grinned at that. You didn't have any ice cream at home anymore, so this was a fantastic idea.

She laughed softly at you looking like an excited child and nodded. “Yes, yes. But you have to be quiet when I park, so you don’t wake up the kids."

"You're taking me to yours?" You asked her surprised. She gave you a look as she locked her office door.

“Yes. I’m not dropping you back home half an hour away at eleven at night. You can sleep on the sofa or take the spare room. Whichever you’d prefer." A bit surprised by the turn of events you smiled warmly at her.

"Oh, thank you. That's very kind." She smirked and placed a hand on the small of your back, gently guiding you down the hall. “Oh don’t sound so surprised. I’ve let you stay over before”

"Yeah, when I was injured from a mission. And I always assumed you just felt guilty." You said and shrugged. Then you added: "Which you never need to. I never blame you. No one does." Her hand on your back moved up and down gently as you entered the lift.

“Oh I know that” She pushed the button to send the lift to the ground floor and waited a short while for it to start moving before speaking again.

“I don’t blame myself anymore. Sometimes I just want you there. Especially after…things. You understand the stuff we deal with, and you’re not afraid to call me out when you think I’m wrong. It's refreshing." You grinned and stepped out of the lift as it pings and the doors open.

"Well, someone needs to talk some sense into you." She rolled her eyes but couldn't stop herself from smiling. She led you to the car and unlocked it, holding the front passenger door open for you. “Very funny. Just get in the car”

"Yes, Ma'am." You said and saluted as a joke, grinning at her and getting into the car. She shut the door and walked round to the drivers side, opening her own door and getting in. She started the car and leaves the underground car park. The drive was mostly silent, neither of you speaking much but when she pulled up outside a supermarket, she turned to you. “What flavour do you want?”

"Mint Choc Chip." You replied excitedly. Kate laughed gently and started to get out the car, calling back to you over her shoulder. “I should’ve guessed. You can come in if you want, just keep quiet please."

You jumped out of the car and ran after her. "What? You think I'm gonna embarrass you in the supermarket?" Kate raised an eyebrow as you caught up to her but smiled fondly. “With the way you like to joke around? Yes” She turned back around and started walking into the shop.

"Don't tempt me." You teased grinning mischievously. She looked back at you and tried to give you a stern look, but was unable to keep the smile off her face. "Don’t you dare. You know I’ll just make you sleep on the sofa instead of the guest room."

"What's the alternative? Your bed?" You teased and grinned stupidly as you followed her. If anyone had told her a few years ago she’d be standing in a supermarket car park, talking to an attractive woman half her age about sleeping in her bed, she’d have never believed them. She stopped in her tracks for a split second and looked behind her, blushing slightly. “I’ll make you sleep on an armchair”

At that you chuckled and held your arms up defensively. You made a show of 'locking your mouth shut' and followed her. “Good”

She continued walking towards the frozen aisle, a slight smirk on her face as she tried to hide her red cheeks. She glanced sideways at you, seeing you ‘locking your mouth’ and tried not to laugh. “You’re such a child. How old did you say you were again?”

You pointed at your mouth and acted innocently, like it was actually locked, and you couldn't answer. Kate rolled her eyes and took hold of your chin, so you actually were forced to look at her. “I’m trying to have a conversation. Unlock it.”

You made a show of unlocking it and throwing the key away. "I'm 31." Kate nodded slowly as she started to look through the ice cream, still holding your chin. “And you still have the same sense of humour as a 12-year-old."

"But I made you laugh." You said triumphantly and poked her side. Kate let go of your chin to swat your hand away but was still smiling. “That’s a fair point”

She found the tub of mint choc chip she wanted and started walking again. “Come on. Let’s go pay and get home before I change my mind and make you sleep in the kitchen."

"Close to the food source. Might not be so bad." You grinned as you jogged after her. Kate glanced at you and rolled her eyes, trying to hide that she was amused by you.

“If the kids wake up and find you sleeping in the kitchen, they’ll never let me hear the end of it. You know they already think it’s funny you keep staying over." You chuckled amused as you walked over to the self-checkout. "I bet they do." Kate scanned the ice cream and then fished her wallet out of her bag. As Kate paid you took the ice cream from her to make it easier for her.

Kate smiled when you took the ice cream from her, and she grabbed the receipt from the machine, putting it away in her back pocket. “Come on then, let’s get going.” She started to walk out of the shop, holding the door open for you on the way.

"Thanks." You smiled and stepped through the door. Together you walked back to her car. Kate got in the driver's seat and started the car, making sure you were in before she sets off towards her house. You both thought about what it means that Kate let you stay over so often, so willingly. The kids were probably right to think it slightly strange. Kate kept her eyes on the road, her hands on the steering wheel almost clenching slightly. She seemed to hesitate for a moment before asking in a low voice.

“Do you think the kids get the idea you and I are…together?” You shrugged and looked at her for a moment. You hesitated, thinking about how much you should reveal. You decide to just joke.

"Your fault for always letting me stay over." Kate sighed slightly, pulling up outside her house and killing the engine. “But friends can stay over. It’s nothing strange, I’ve got a spare room.” She got out of the car and started walking towards her front door, rummaging in her jacket pocket for her keys. You followed her, the ice cream freezing your hand. You furrowed your brows a bit at the lack of a laugh from her.

"They're kids. They care about your happiness. They probably just want you to have someone, and they already know me. It'd be convenient for them." You said and shrugged. You'd effectively hidden your massive crush on her until now. You weren't going to ruin that now. But you still wanted to assure her a bit. She had good, kind kids.

Kate finally found the keys in her pocket, pulling them out with a small triumphant noise. She began to unlock the front door, but as she spoke, she looked over her shoulder at you. “You might be right. But do you really think they’d want me to be with someone like you?” She was trying to keep her voice light and airy, but you had known her long enough to know she was overthinking something.

You stepped into the house behind her, trying to lighten her mood with a joke. "I'll try and not take that personally." You teased as you took your shoes off inside.

For once, Kate didn't laugh, she seemed too lost in her own head. She shrugged her coat off and hung it up before slowly turning around. “You know I didn’t mean it like that." She paused, suddenly unable to meet your eyes.

"Hey. What's wrong? You're overthinking something. I can see it." You said softly as you hung up your coat as well. A slightly concerned look on your face. Kate shook her head, still unable to look directly at you. She swallowed and forced out a small chuckle.

“It’s nothing. Really. Just a thought” Finally, she lifted her gaze to meet your eyes, but almost instantly regretted it. She’d never realised how attractive you were. She could feel her heart racing, her hands clenching slightly.

"Kate. Talk to me. I'm your best friend." You said and smiled warmly at her. Kate opened her mouth, suddenly finding herself unable to find the words. She took a deep breath, but before she could speak, a voice from upstairs broke through the moment.

“Mum? What’s going on?” Sarah appeared at the top of the stairs, clearly woken up by the noise. You looked up to the top of the stairs. Seeing the thirteen-year-old stand there in her pj's. You smiled at her. "Hey, sweetheart."

Sarah smiled when she saw you, her eyes flicking between you and her mother. “Hi. I thought I heard you guys”

Kate suddenly regained her ability to speak, looking up at her daughter. “We’ve only just got back. Sorry if we woke you up, love."

"We'll be quiet now." You assured her. "We just had a long day at work."

Sarah nodded slowly, but she clearly wasn't quite done speaking to her mother. “Can I talk to you? In private” Kate looked surprised and glanced at you. She turned back to her daughter. "Yeah, of course. Just give me a minute”

"It's okay. I'll be in the kitchen." You softly assured her and smiled as you took the ice cream and left for the kitchen. Kate watched you leave and turned her attention onto Sarah, motioning for her to sit on the stairs. Once Sarah was down, she stood opposite her. “What did you want to talk about?”

Sarah fidgeted slightly, fiddling with the hem of her pyjama shirt. “It’s a little bit weird.” Kate gently placed a hand on Sarah’s knee and smiled reassuringly. “Honey. You can talk to me about anything."

You smiled softly to yourself as you heard Kate's voice echo into the kitchen. She had always been an amazing mother. Even if she didn't always believe it.

Sarah took a breath and finally spoke, her words coming out quietly. "I’m worried about you. Gordon is too." Kate’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “You’re worried about me? Why?”

Sarah played with the hem of her shirt again. “You’re always working. You never go on dates.” She looked at her mother with a mixture of confusion and slight concern. Kate was surprised. She hadn’t actually realised her daughter was paying so much attention to her dating life but as she thought it through, she started to get where Sarah was going. “You think I’m lonely?”

Sarah nodded slowly. “I want you to be happy, mum. You’re always working or looking after me and Gordon.” Kate softened slightly, suddenly realising how mature her little girl had become. She reached out and gently tucked a lock of blonde hair behind Sarah’s ear. “You want me to get a partner?” Kate asked, a little amused but still impressed.

Sarah sighed and tried to think how to explain it. She knew her mother was intelligent, but sometimes she needed to be a little more direct. “Yeah…I guess” She paused and glanced at you in the kitchen. Before looking back at her mother. “Especially someone like Y/n.”

At that your head shot up. Up until now you had obviously heard them talk but had tried to ignore them. It wasn't polite to eavesdrop. But this... You had to listen to this.

Kate’s heart skipped a beat, and she suddenly had to concentrate on keeping a neutral face. She swallowed and tried to appear as indifferent as possible. “What do you mean, ‘someone like Y/n’?”

Sarah rolled her eyes, already sensing her mother’s defensiveness. With an amused tone she spoke again. “Mum, I’m thirteen. I know when adults like each other.” Kate suddenly felt her cheeks flush. She couldn’t let Sarah see how flustered she was.

“Wha- Sarah, we’re just friends!” That was a pathetic cover up, and she was well aware of it. Sarah raised an eyebrow at her mother, clearly not believing her. “Mum. It’s so obvious. You like Y/n. Just admit it." Kate’s stomach felt like it had dropped out of her body. She’d known that the kids suspected something for a while but now her own daughter was openly calling her out. She couldn’t come up with an excuse, but she wasn’t going to admit it. “Sarah. I’m too old” It was a weak response, and she knew it.

Well, that was just a load of Bullshit, you thought. What did she mean? Too old? What a ridiculous idea.

Sarah rolled her eyes again. For an intelligent woman, her mother could really be stupid. She took a breath and spoke again, her voice gentle. “You’re not ‘too old’. You just a bit scared she doesn't want you, Mum."

That one hit closer to home than Sarah could have realised. Kate’s mind flashed with thoughts of you, thoughts that had been plaguing her for months. She was a workaholic, middle-aged parent with all the emotional baggage she could imagine and Sarah was right. She didn’t think you’d want her.

You still listened intently, seemingly holding your breath just to not miss a single word. You hadn't imagined Kate could think something like that about herself. She was so incredible. Sure she was also gorgeous and beautiful. But she was so much more. So smart and cunning. A brilliant leader and UNIT head. How could you not be in love with her?

Sarah glanced into the kitchen, noticing you by the counter. Then she turned back to her mother, noticing her sadness. She suddenly felt bad for her mother and spoke again, gently this time. “You do realise Y/n is completely in love with you, right?” Kate’s heart skipped another beat. Love? That was a strong word.

Sarah hit the nail right in its head, you thought. You were absolutely, hopelessly in love with Kate.

Kate couldn’t do anything but silently shake her head. In her opinion, there was no way you could be in love with her. She was old and worn out, working most of the time, you were young and beautiful, what on earth could you see in her?

You decided to step in and free Kate from her misery. "You know the ice cream is melting." You said as you stepped out of the kitchen and leaned against the door frame, looking at Kate and Sarah.

Kate was snapped out of her thoughts, turning to glance at you. The sight of you leaning against the door frame, a slight smile on your face sent her heart into overdrive again, and she tried to keep her voice as steady as possible. “Yeah yeah, I’m getting to it”

"Go to sleep, Sarah sweetheart. Your mum needs some relaxation. It was a long day." You said softly and smiled at Sarah warmly. Sarah nodded slowly, but she couldn't resist looking between you and her mother once more before reluctantly heading back upstairs. Kate turned, watching her daughter’s door close before turning back to you, her eyes wide.

“How much of that did you hear?” For a moment you just looked at her, arms crossed and casually leaning against the door frame. "Enough." You simply reply.

Kate swallowed nervously and took a small step closer to you, her heart still racing from her conversation with Sarah. She couldn’t even look you in the eye, instead her gaze was fixed firmly on your shirt. “You probably think I’m pathetic, don’t you?”

That made you furrow your brows in confusion a bit. When you spoke your voice was much softer. "Why would I think that?" Kate took a deep breath and continued to avoid your eyes, her hands clenching into small fists. How could you not think that? She was old, miserable and lonely. You had the whole world to explore, but you spent your time with her. “Come on, Y/n. Look at me. I’m pathetic, you can admit it.”

You studied her for a second and then reached out for her hand. You grabbed them and softly unclenched them. "Why would you think that?"

Kate’s hands shook as you unclenched them, making it clear how nervous she was. She could feel her eyes starting to sting with tears. You were surprised by the sight in front of you. It was so unusual for Kate. To be this nervous and this unsure of herself. You'd never seen her like this. Despite that, she forced herself to continue. “Because it’s true. I’m older, I’m miserable…and I’m obsessed with you” That comment made you smile in absolute delight.

"Obsessed with me, huh?" You teased. Kate felt her cheeks flaming, her eyes darting back to yours as a tear slipped down her cheek. “Yes. Obsessed. Absolutely in love. Do you need me to be even more graphic?” A sassy remark. That at least was more like Kate.

"Hey, no." You said much softer again as you saw the tear on her cheek. You reached out and wiped it away. "Don't cry."

Kate’s body shuddered gently at your touch, a shiver running through her spine. She takes another step closer to you, her chest practically touching yours. She finally manages to hold your gaze with her own tear filled, watery eyes. “I do, you know. Love you. Completely and hopelessly." You smiled happily at her.

"Then it's a good thing that I'm hopelessly in love with you too." You spoke sweetly, your hand cupping her rosy cheek. Kate’s eyes widened, her heart leaping up into her throat. She didn’t believe you, you couldn’t possibly be in love with her, could you? She swallowed and tried to find her voice and when she did, it was just a whisper. “You can’t be…”

"Why not?" You asked softly, hand still on her cheek and gently brushing your thumb over her cheekbone. Kate couldn’t find an answer. Your touch was too distracting, your voice too soft. She let out a shaky exhale, closing her eyes and gently leaning into your touch. “You’re too young. You’re beautiful, smart, and you could have anyone you want”

"Good thing I want you." You whispered, lips suddenly mere inches from hers. You hesitated for a split second before you pressed your lips against hers. And it felt like everything you had craved for months. Better than anything you could have ever imagined. Her lips so soft, so cautious against yours.

Kate let out a small, quiet gasp as your lips met hers. She practically melted into the kiss, her body almost going limp, her mind hazy from the sudden sensation of your lips on hers. It was a short, blissful moment before she snapped to her senses and pulled back, a shaky hand covering her mouth as she studied your face. “You…you…” Kate stammered, suddenly finding herself speechless.

"Speechless again. Two times in one day." You teased softly, a mischievous gleam in your eyes as you looked at her. "I'm sorry I just kissed you. I could have asked." You softly apologised then.

Kate immediately shook her head, her eyes still wide. “No, no, do it again.” There was hardly a moment between the words leaving her mouth and her grabbing your shirt, pulling you back in for a second, more needy kiss.

You hummed delighted as she pulled you in and practically crashed her lips against yours. You let your hands run down her hips and slide into the back pockets of her pants, squeezing her arse slightly. As Kate felt your hands on her arse, a very unladylike noise slipped from her lips. She suddenly realised that they were still in the hallway and the risk of Sarah or Gordon waking up and seeing them was very real. She gently pulled away, her hands still gripping the front of your shirt. “Not here”

You nodded and bit your lip a bit to pull yourself together. Your eyes wander over her, she was slightly blushy, lips parted beautifully. "Bedroom?" You whispered. Kate’s heart raced again when you whispered that. Her brain couldn’t come up with a reason to say no anymore. At the rate you were going, you were definitely not going to end up eating the ice cream anytime soon. She reached out to grab your hand, intertwining her fingers with yours. "Yeah…bedroom. Now."

You gently but firmly tugged on her hand and pulled her up the stairs not even bothering to turn off the lights downstairs. At the top of the stairs, you couldn't help myself. You pulled her against you and kissed her hungrily. Your hands tightly holding her hips. Kate gasped again, her back slamming into the wall as you pin her against it.

“We have to be quiet” She said breathlessly as she broke the kiss off for a moment and looked into your eyes. Despite her words, she tugged on your shirt, pulling you back in for another kiss, her hands pulling the shirt up impatiently. You kissed her back, desperately. Only breaking it off for a second to let her pull your shirt over your head, leaving you in just your bra. The shirt fell to the floor somewhere without any care.

As soon as your shirt was off, Kate’s hands were on you again, roaming over your exposed skin. At the same time, she started planting needy kisses on your neck, occasionally biting down gently.

"Kate..." You trued to hold back a moan as your head fell to the side slightly, instinctively giving her better access to your neck. "The kids..." You try to remind her, the words coming out shaky and breathlessly.

She pulled away for a moment, glancing down the hallway towards the kids rooms. “You’re right…bedroom…” She took your hand again and practically dragged you down the hallway. As soon as the bedroom door closed, she was on you again. Her lips crashed into yours as she walked you backwards towards the bed. Your hands desperately tugged on the buttons of her blouse, opening one after another until it hung open and showed a hint of her blue bra. Your legs hit the bed frame behind you and nearly made you topple over onto the bed.

Kate let out a shaky sigh as you undid the final button and the material of her blouse fell open. Her hands immediately went to your hips, grabbing them to guide you backwards onto the bed. She started to move to kneel over you, but she was suddenly hit with a thought, a thought that made her stop in her tracks. “The kids…we should lock the door." You nodded and caught your breath for a moment.

"Yeah, you're right." You supported yourself on your elbows and looked up at her, waiting for her to go and lock the door. She let her eyes rake over you as you looked up at her with your messy hair and flushed cheeks, and she had to resist grabbing you again. She forced herself to break eye contact and go lock the door. When she had crossed the room and locked the door, she returned to you, a smirk on her face. “Now where were we?"

"Come here." You said and reached your hands out for her, desperate to feel her lips back on yours again. A shudder ran through Kate’s skin as you beckoned for her, and she was happy to obey. Within seconds, she was back on the bed with you, straddling your hips. She bent down and brought her lips back to yours, starting to unbutton your jeans as she did so. You pushed the unbuttoned blouse off her shoulders, letting it fall away. Immediately your hands found her breasts, trailing over the blue fabric of her bra and then cupping them gently. Kate moaned against your lips, the feeling of your hands on her already driving her crazy. She broke the kiss, breathless, and reached behind herself to unclasp her bra. She pulled it off with one hand, letting it fall to the ground as she looked back down at you, a smirk on her face. “Like what you see?” You nodded mindlessly, eyes glued to her naked breasts, breath caught in your throat.

"Very much." You replied biting your lip. Your hands can't keep themselves off of her. Immediately finding their way back to her breasts. "So goddamn beautiful." You whispered as you cupped her now naked breasts. They fit so perfectly into your palm, the skin warm under your hand.

The other woman moaned a little louder as your hands found her again. She couldn’t handle it anymore, your hands on her and your eyes studying her hungrily was too much. Her hands started to travel over your body, tugging at the denim of your jeans again. “Pants…off. Now."

You pinched her nipples and slightly tugged on them, reluctantly letting go. Quickly you help her with your pants, lifting your hips and kicking them off the bed as soon as they were off. Then your hands travelled down her smooth stomach and to the button of her slacks. Sh shivered as your fingers trailed very her skin and start undressing her. Once her pants were unbuttoned, she was too impatient and simply moved off the bed. She pushed her pants down and stepped out of them, leaving her in just her underwear that matched her discarded blue bra.

"Panties off." You managed to say, voice shaky with desire. You shifted a bit on the bed, till you were lying pretty much in the middle of it. "I want you on my face." You said, still looking at her. You were so desperate to taste her, to have her come on your tongue.

Kate’s breath caught in her throat and heat pooled in her stomach. She glanced over to you and saw the way you were sprawled out across the bed, the words you just spoke ringing in her ears. She quickly pulled her panties down and moved back to the bed. She climbed up, her legs on either side of your hips, a smirk on her face. “You sure you can handle me?"

"Don't get cocky." You said but grinned amused. Your hands rested on her hips and impatiently pulled, wanting her to move up. Kate smirked again as you pulled on her hips, but she let you, shifting forward until she was kneeling over your face. Her hands found the headboard of the bed, gripping it as she looked down at you, a bit breathless already.

“This what you wanted?” You nodded, a hungry look in your eyes as you looked up at her. Your senses were flooded with her. Her smell, the feeling of her skin under your hands... "You've got to be quiet. The kids..."

Kate swallowed nervously, her eyes fluttering shut as your hands ran over her skin. A slight shiver ran through her body as your words registered in her hazy brain. She knew it was going to be hard work keeping quiet with what you could do to her with your mouth. She could feel her thighs already shaking slightly as she spoke. “I’ll…I’ll try”

"You better." And with that you pulled her hips down, resulting in her sitting right in you. Your tongue immediately running through her wet folds.

Kate let out a small gasp at the same time as you pulled her down. Your firm hands holding onto her hips kept her stable. It took a few seconds for her to find her voice again as her hands clung to the headboard firmly. “If you keep…oh…keep doing that, it’s g-going to be difficult to be quiet."

You simply hummed against her clit, delighted by her sounds even though you knew she was definitely being too loud. Kate moaned softly as you hummed against her sensitive skin, her legs were already shaking above you, and it took all of her willpower not to let any more sounds slip out. One hand left the headboard and went to her mouth, she bit down gently on the skin of her knuckles, hoping that that would silence her sounds of pleasure a bit.

Her eyes fell closed, the combination of your hands on her hips, your tongue on her and your soft moans sending vibrations through her were almost too much. She had to fight hard to stay up on her knees, not wanting to crush you as she felt her legs turning to jelly. She was doing a good job of keeping herself quiet for now but her teeth were digging hard into the skin of her knuckles and she struggled to find some sort of control. "I…I think-“

You looked up at her as she spoke, by kept feasting on her. Your tongue swirling over her clit, alternating with soft sucking. Her taste on your tongue filling your mind with a blissful haze. And she looked so stunningly radiant over you. Breathless and stuttering, skin slightly sweaty and hair messy. The way she bit down on her knuckles, desperately trying to stay quiet. She’s interrupted by another moan escaping her as she tried to speak. She tried again, determined to get a full sentence out this time. “I…I’m c-close, and I don’t th-think I can be quiet."

Your eyes widened a bit, and you nodded, trying to quickly think of a solution. Then, in a swift motion, you lifted her off your face and flipped you around. You hovered over her, one hand coming to cover her mouth the other reaching between her legs and sliding through her folds before skilled fingers concentrated on her already sensitive clit.

The gasp that left Kate’s lips at being suddenly flipped onto her back was quickly muffled by your hand. The same hand that she had bitten down on now went to grab the pillow next to her, her fingers finding the fabric and gripping hard. Her eyes rolled back and a stream of strangled moans escaped against your hand, her back arching off the mattress. You're completely mesmerised by the sight in front of you. Kate looked absolutely gorgeous in that moment, desperate and in pure pleasure. Hair messy and sweaty, slightly sticking to her forehead. It was a shame you couldn't properly hear her moans.

Kate looked at you desperately, like there was nothing that she wanted more in the world than you. She moans against your hand again, the muscles of her stomach contracting as her back arches off the bed again. She let go of the pillow and her hand was suddenly on your shoulder, her nails digging into your skin, her knuckles going white from the pressure.

"You look so beautiful." You whispered softly as you looked down at her. Your fingers picked up speed a bit and pressed against her clit firmer.

Kate tried to speak, but it turned into a moan instead. Her body was shuddering and shaking under your touch and her legs were trembling. She managed to pull your hand away from her mouth to look up at you, her eyes pleading. “I…I need you…p-please."

"What do you need? I'm here, darling." You spoke sweetly, not getting what exactly she wanted from you. Kate practically whimpered as you spoke, your sweet words almost sending her over the edge right then and there. She was desperate for you, your touch, your voice, all of you. There was a faint hint of a blush in her cheeks when she looked up at you. “Inside…I want you…need you."

Your eyes widened as realisation hit you. A soft oh leaving your lips. Your fingers moved down, through her folds and obeyed her wish. She was wet enough for your fingers to easily slip inside of her. Kate let out a strangled moan at that, her hips bucking up against your hand. There was little space left between you now, and she brought her hands up to your face, her fingers tangling in your hair, pulling you down to bring your lips to hers. You gasped slightly into the kiss. It was a messy, desperate kiss as her body rocked against your touch, searching for more friction, more of that wonderful pleasure you gave her. Your fingers easily moved inside her, curling up a bit and hitting that sweet spot while you kept frantically kissing her, sloppy and needy.

Another wave of shudders ran through Kate, and she couldn't help the whine that left her lips as you hit that sweet spot. She’s completely overwhelmed but just couldn't get enough. Her legs wrap around your waist, pulling you closer and her hands start roaming anywhere they can touch, any part of your body. You could feel the way she started to tense under your touch, the way her walls clenched around your fingers. Her lips parted, another moan undoubtedly already on her lips. You quickly silenced it with another kiss, your tongue slipping into her mouth. She can’t think anymore, all coherent thoughts go out of the window, the only thing on her mind is you, the pleasure you’re bringing her. Her legs pull you even closer and her hands scratch down your back in a desperate attempt to bring you impossibly closer, leaving red streaks in their wake.

You could feel the moment she came. Her walls clenched impossibly around your fingers, her back arched closer into you, and she couldn't kiss you back as her lips fell open, eyes rolling back into her head. She trembled under you, desperately clinging onto you. Her legs went limp against your body and the hand in your hair went slack. Her breathing came in short pants as she tried to catch her breath, her chest rising rapidly as she shuddered against you. It took a few seconds for her mind to start working again and for sense to return. Her eyes slowly opened as she gazed up at you through the messy strands of hair that had fallen onto her face. Her voice was shaky and weak when she spoke. “Come…come here…”

You pulled your fingers out of her and gently brushed the hair out of her face. A soft smile on your lips. "I'm here, sweetheart."

Kate gave you a weak smile as you tucked her hair back. She pushed herself up against the pillows a little more, so she was now sitting against the headboard, and she immediately reached out for you. Once you were sitting up as well opposite her, her arms wind around your shoulders, pulling you closer. Her voice was still shaky, her eyes still a little glazed over as she speaks. “You’re wearing too much”

"I think you're a bit too exhausted for more." You softly spoke, leaning into her embrace and kissing the side of her face tenderly. Kate let out a quiet huff at your words, a pout forming on her face as she heard the implication that the night was over in your words, which it wasn’t if she had anything to do with it. She looked up at you, a determined look in her eyes as she spoke. “I’m fine…I’m not tired, you…you haven’t finished yet." Your heart melts away a bit, equally parts from her sweet words and from the cute pout on her lips. Something you had never seen on Kate's lips.

"That doesn't matter, sweetheart. You need sleep." You spoke softly, playing with her hair as you leaned against her. Kate continued to pout a little at your words but deep down she knew you were right, she was absolutely exhausted. The orgasm had tired her out more than either of you had realised, but she wasn’t going to admit that, no matter how weary her body was. “But…I can’t just leave you like that…”

"Yes, you can. It's been a long day, you worked hard. You're exhausted." You gave her another kiss on her temple and moved away from her gently. She whined, a sound so adorable you would have never guessed it could leave Kate Stewart's lips.

"I'm gonna clean you up, and then we'll sleep. No discussion." And to your surprise she actually didn't argue again. She simply let you clean her up and then cuddled into your side when you climbed under the covers with her.

The lights turned off, you're settled and already half asleep when a thought stroke you. You let out a sudden laugh. "What?" Kate mumbled sleepily, not even closing her eyes. She really was exhausted.

"I think we'll have to buy new ice cream." You replied fondly. You had left it in the counter, and it was surely completely melted by now. And likely wouldn't be good anymore by tomorrow, cause neither of you was going to stand up again. Kate chuckles amused, albeit very sleepily in your arms.

"Doesn't matter."

You kissed her temple and smiled.

"Yeah, you're right." Cause in the face of this moment, nothing else mattered.

[tiedyeflannels]

BTS Headcanon || The Members Playing Loteria

OT7 x reader

Word count: 1k

Masterlist

A/N: Hey! I just wanted to write a little blurb while I'm working on the next installment of Blind Date(s)! @maple-leaves-in-the-wind and I came up with this and it was super fun to think about how they would be if they played loteria.

For those who don't know loteria, here's a quick run-down: It's basically bingo, but with betting. You have a set amount (usually a few cents) that you pay per "bingo" card (you can have multiple cards) and you pile the money in the middle. You, then, have someone calling the cards (numbers in bingo) and you win by filling a row either vertically, horizontally, or diagonally and get the money from the middle. Basic bingo rules. At the very end of the game, there is one last round where you pay a good amount of money for each card. The higher the amount, the bigger the pot, the higher the stakes. You win the final pot by filling out the ENTIRE card (think blackout bingo).

Playing loteria with the members would best be described in one word…

CHAOTIC

If RUN BTS has taught us anything, it’s that they are competitive

I’m talking shouting

Blaming

Demanding recounts (looking through each card that was called)

Demanding their money back if they think that the person who’s always winning every round (most likely you) is cheating

The WHOLE nine yards

And speaking of money…

Broke millionaires

When you said that everyone would be buying a card at 25 cents a pop, they immediately start running around whoever’s house (or the shared dorm) that you’re playing at and digging in between the couch cushions for change

Though you had told them about this game DAYS in advance

“Spare change? Spare change, ma’am?”

And don’t even get me started on how much is going into the final pot

Someone Tae suggests that they should pay 5 bucks a card and everyone becomes DEFENSIVE

Get ready for some arguments to break out

"Alright, should we do one final round before we call it a night,” I asked, looking around the table, slightly chuckling at some of the members' hair.

It was mainly the maknae line that had their hair sticking in every direction from the amount of times they had run their hands through it. I collected the cards from near the middle of the table so I could shuffle them as Namjoon pushed the pot money over to me.

Everyone nodded at the question.

“Alright! How much should we pay per card,” I asked as I shuffled the deck.

Taehyung was quick to answer, “5 bucks!”

Everyone’s head shot up at the suggestion while Jungkook, Jimin and Hobi abruptly stood up, almost knocking over their chairs.

"Absolutely not!” “That is too much money!”

I giggled as Jimin and Tae started to bicker and the others sat back down.

“5 bucks? Do you know how many ramen packs I can get with that,” Jungkook argued.

“I’m gonna have to side with Jungkook on this one. I don’t want to pull from my retirement fund yet,” Yoongi said, leaning back and crossing his arms.

“Yeah we don’t want to do that, he’s gonna need it soon,” Jin chimed in.

Yoongi threw a glare at him, “You’re older than me, you know that?”

I bursted out laughing at the disgusted face Jin made before Namjoon started telling us to calm down.

We looked over to him as he stated a proposal, “How about we do 2 dollars a card?”

“I’m down,” I said, taking out 2 dollars from my wallet.

Everyone followed my lead and started to dig around for their wallets before pulling out the amount they were going to pay. I put my two dollars in the middle of the table and got rid of my other two cards, leaving me with the one. I looked around as everyone was sorting their things and stopped at Jungkook.

“I only have a 5 dollar bill,” he said with a pout.

“Do you want 3 cards because I can give you a dollar or if you don’t, just take the change from the pile,”I offered.

He nodded, placing the five in the middle, “I’ll take three cards!” I nodded and pulled out another dollar from my wallet, throwing it in the middle.

Looking around, Hobi, Jimin and Tae had two cards, Jungkook had three, and Namjoon, Yoongi, Jin and I had one which made the grand total: 26 dollars.

“Alright, are we ready,” I asked as everyone nodded. I was about to call a card, but Hobi stopped me.

“Wait, can someone else call the cards?”

I looked at him, confused, “Why?”

“Because you’re the only one that’s been calling cards and you’ve won almost every round.”

“That’s because no one wants to call the cards, but if it makes you feel better… I’ll let you shuffle,” I said, moving to hand him the cards, “And Namjoon can call out the cards, okay?”

I looked over to Namjoon for confirmation as Hobi started to shuffle the deck, he nodded. Once Hobi was done shuffling he handed them over to Namjoon, who started to call out the cards.

It had been a while and no one had cleared their entire card yet, so I looked over and saw that Namjoon had already gone through half of the deck.

“How has no one won yet,” I asked, looking down at my car, that only needed a few more spots to be filled and then looked around.

“I don’t know, but I only need a couple more to win,” Jimin spoke up and the other nodded in agreement.

A few more cards were laid down and the tension was building. Everyone was on the edge of their seats as Namjoon started to near the end of the deck until…

“Buenas!” I cheered as I covered the last spot I needed to completely fill out my card. The guys groaned and fell back into their chairs as I happily collected the money.

“That’s not fair,” Tae groaned.

I laughed, “That’s how it goes.”

I grabbed my wallet and got up, “Well I’m hungry, so I’m gonna go to the convenience store.”

Jungkook and Tae shot up, following me immediately.

“Can you get us something,” Jungkook asked as they both looked at me with puppy dog eyes.

I squinted before sighing, “Fine.”

I was about to step through the door, but stopped and looked at the others, “Are you guys gonna come too?”

They all got up and followed me to the door. I sighed again as we started to walk to the convenience store.

“I’m only getting you ramen, okay?”

“Yay," they all cheered.

[enhaheeseung]

At your service l. Heeseung

Pairing: live in maid heeseung x rich fem reader

Warnings : age gap, smut, protected sex, fluff, cursing, vulgar language, angst.

Note : hi, sorry this is taken so long to update, but here is chapter number six.

Masterlist (not updated)

WC : 2,333.

If anyone wants links to other chapters lmk!

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Heeseung opened his eyes to be greeted by the clock that read 7:02, and your arms wrapped around his waist. His eyes widened in shock. He had never slept so long in his whole life.

He grabbed his phone from the nightstand to text Jay.

Real life bambi 🦌: How does it feel waking up in a cold, empty bed?

Jay park my car in your garage 🐦 : You're not still leading her on, are you?

Real life bambi 🦌: I'm not. She's the one that's hungry for my dick, and I just give it to her.😏

Jay park my car in your garage 🐦 : You’re ✨disgusting✨ Are you still making her a birthday cake?

Real life bambi 🦌: Of course, but why are you bringing that up? It's like forever away.

Jay park my car in your garage 🐦 : Hate to burst your bubble, but it's like three weeks away,

“Three weeks!?" heeseung shouted. Causing you to stir in your sleep.

He quickly slapped his hand over his mouth.

He gently moved your arms from his waist and left a note, leaving the bed as quietly as possible and making his way to his bathroom to get ready for school so he wouldn’t wake you.

He made you a few dishes for breakfast. And then he took an apple for himself, rushing to school with a few minutes to spare.

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You woke up feeling around the bed with your eyes still closed. Once you felt it was empty, you figured heeseung had already gone to school.

You got up, rubbed your eyes, and saw a small note on your nightstand.

"Morning my darling, I'm off to school, and I probably won't be back till much later, so don't wait up for me. Don't worry. I packed a few dishes for you before I left. See you later tonight, beautiful."

You smiled after reading the note. You decided on taking a bath instead of a shower, hoping to kill time while he was away. Maybe it was too soon to miss his presence, but you did.

In the beginning, his looks attracted you, but as time passed, there were so many things to love about him.

It was definitely too soon to feel this way about him, and you knew it. This was one of the many reasons you had been taking advantage of in the past, and one of the things you swore against was trusting yet another person so easily.

But here you are, falling in love with your live-in maid and trusting him with your whole heart, yet it hasn't even been two months yet.

You had hoped that eventually, he would feel the same way, but only time could tell you were quite the impatient person, but you would wait for him.

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After heeseung got out of school, he asked Jay to accompany him to the store to shop for your birthday.

They walked side by side on the way to the store. He had already decided what he was going to make for you.

"She loves strawberries, so I decided to make her a strawberry shortcake," he said with a bright smile. He felt proud that he remembered you telling him how much you liked strawberries.

He loved watching your eyes light up every time he had them prepared for you, along with your breakfast.

"You look like a creep with that smile on your face." Jay threw in his two cents that literally nobody asked for,

'I can't wait to surprise her. I really hope she'll like it," they arrived at the grocery store a few minutes later.

"Are you sure you don't like her? I mean, you're going through a lot, especially seeing how she already gave you the goods."

"First things first, strawberries." he ignored his friend's questions, grabbing a basket at the entrance.

"heeseung!" Jay raised his voice slightly, gaining the attention of some shoppers by accident.

"What do you want me to tell you? Yeah, I had sex with her a few times, and now I caught feelings for her. Some sappy unrealistic bull crap. She's letting me stay in her house and paying me a ridiculous amount of money. The least I can do is give her a small gift,"

Jay just nodded his head, a sigh leaving his lips. The whole situation was making him feel a bit uneasy, especially cause of heeseung’s messy past with his ex’s jay just wanted to see him happy, and the idea that he might like you made him excited, but if heeseung said he didn’t like you than he wasn’t going to push for it anymore.

"Now, can we just finish this already?" he walked past Jay, feeling irritated by his stupid questioning.

Jay followed closely behind him, staying silent for the most part.

heeseung had got everything on the list and was heading toward the checkout when he spotted a display with flower seeds.

"Ooh, do you think y/n would like these?" he set down his basket, kneeling to take a closer look. He picked up the packet of sunflower seeds, showing them to Jay.

"What girl doesn't like flowers?"

"For once, you actually said something remotely smart" he grabbed four packets. Adding them to his basket,

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You finished with your bath, and still hours before heeseung came home. You took it upon yourself to add a few decorations to heeseung's room, not too many, but just the right amount.

You had spoken to him about adding some furniture and a few paintings on the wall. He said that he would eventually do it when he got some free time.

At least that's what he told you, but ultimately, he just didn't want to waste time with decorating cause he'd be leaving soon.

You didn't hear when he came home, and you were putting the final touches up when you heard his footsteps coming upstairs.

You quickly bolted out of his room with your back pressed against his door.

"Hi," you said nervously.

"Hi?" he noticed your suspicious behavior right away. "What were you up to?"

"Nothing," you reply a little too quickly.

"Okay, can you let me in my room, please?" he smiled, still unsure of what you were up to.

You moved aside slowly. You were a bit nervous that he wouldn't like it.

His eyes went wide immediately. He turned back to you with his mouth agape. Eyes darting from you to the room.

"You didn't have to." he hugged you, placing a kiss on your cheek.

'but I wanted to. I missed you. Where were you all day?"

"It's a secret, and I missed you too, darling. I was so close to skipping and spending all morning with you."

"It's a good thing you didn't. School is important." You hugged him back.

"Not as important as you. Give me a kiss." he leaned down so you could press your lips to his

He picked you up and tossed you on his bed, throwing his backpack to the other side of the room.

"What are you doing?"

"Oh, nothing. I'm just going to have sex with a beautiful girl in my beautiful room." He climbed on the bed, hovering over you.

"I've been thinking about you all day," you admitted.

"Oh yeah? What about me?" his hands made their way to your shirt, taking his time with each and every button.

"Your smile, your hands," you pulled his shirt over his head. "Your body and what it feels like when you're on top of me."

"Funny, cause that's exactly what I was thinking about you too," he trailed kisses down your stomach, grabbing the waistband of your two-piece and dragging it down your legs, noticing your matching top and bottoms.

"For me?" he asked with a grin on his face.

"All for you," you wrapped your legs around him, bringing him in for a kiss.

"Absolutely beautiful," he positioned between your legs and slowly rolled his hips into you, moving his head to the side of your neck, leaving hickeys just below your ear.

"Hee, I want to feel you inside me now." It was like a switch went off in his head when those words left your mouth.

He instantly shot up from the bed. Kicking off his pants and underwear before he walked over to his backpack, digging inside for something.

He stood above you, holding a small box in his hand and waving it around. "Look what I got," he smiled while opening the package as fast as possible, grabbing the foil packet and ripping it open.

"You're crazy," you chuckled. You couldn't believe he actually bought condoms.

"Crazy for you' he winked, giving himself a few pumps before sliding the latex on.

He got back on top of you, but you quickly flipped him over.

"Oh," he smiled. You laced your fingers together, putting your hands behind his neck.

He kissed your forearm while he held your thighs in his hands.

You straddled his lap, grinding down on his cock. You moved your panties to the side, your heat finally coming in contact with his hard-on.

"oh my god," he looked down, watching his dick slide between your pussy lips.

You laughed softly and took his length in your hand, rubbing it on your folds and wasting no time as you pushed his cock inside of you.

He moaned, squeezing on your thighs tightly, eyes traveling to you, getting ready to unclip your bra.

"Can I?" he asked, looking up at you with his big shiny eyes.

"You can do anything you want, hee."

He slid his hands up your sides, reaching for the clip on the back, fumbling with it slightly.

You waited for him patiently while he focused on unhooking your bra.

Once he unclipped it, You lifted your arms so he could easily pull it off.

"so fucking beautiful," he pulled you flush against his chest, bucking his hips into you slowly.

"Hee, just relax. I want to take care of you tonight." You put your hands on his shoulders.

"But-" you placed your finger to his lips to keep him quiet.

"Let me," you bounced up and down, riding him slowly.

"Okay," he rested against his headboard.

"You look perfect like this." You tipped his chin up, making him hold eye contact with you.

He trailed his palm on the valley of your breasts before taking them in his hands and massaging them gently.

The slow pace was getting nearly unbearable for both of you.

"Please go faster," you followed his command. Even though he wasn't on top, you still gave him full control over you.

You rode him a little faster. The material of your panties rubbing against his cock adding even more pleasure.

"Feeling good?" you ask, picking up the pace.

"So good." he leaned his head to your chest, rolling his tongue around your nipple.

You gripped his hair tightly, making him groan against your chest from the slight pain.

He gulped loudly before switching to your other nipple, giving it the same amount of care.

You held onto his shoulders, gaining more leverage to bounce on him, hitting a better, deeper angle inside of you.

"Fuck y/n," he let out quick breaths, you could feel him twitch, and You knew he wasn't going to last much longer. You moved your hand to rub your clit, so you could both cum together.

He quickly replaced your hand with his, and it felt ten times better than your own as you threw your head back in pleasure.

"Are you gonna cum, hee? You leaned down to connect your lips with his just in time for him to let out a whiny yes into the kiss.

He wrapped his arm around you, helping you ride him faster to bring you to your orgasm.

"let it out, darling," he spoke onto your lips as he put his thumb on your clit, rubbing it in fast circles.

He could feel your walls tightly convulsing around him, and that's all it took for him to fill up the condom with his cum.

"oh, hee, I'm cumming, cumming" you whimpered out, rolling your hips tiredly.

"fuck yes, that's a good girl" He dug his hands into your hips, bringing you down on his shaft gently, so you could feel every last bit of him inside you while your walls clenched tightly on his length.

He encircled your waist with his arms, giving you a tight squeeze. Your head automatically falling into the crook of his neck.

"You okay?" he chuckled, feeling how your body slightly shook.

You nodded your head. Unable to speak while you caught your breath.

He ran his hand through your hair. Pressing his lips to your cheek. "Mwah." he rested his chin on your shoulder, hugging you into his body.

You lay together, basking in each other's body heat for a few moments until he gradually went soft inside of you.

He pulled out of you and got up, tossing the condom in the bathroom trash. He walked over to his backpack, grabbing the packets of flower seeds he had bought from earlier.

"Hurry up. I miss you already," you whined, missing his warmth.

He got under the covers with you, and you clung to him instantly. "Maybe you should skip school tomorrow. I don't know if I can spend a moment without you."

He glanced down to see you smiling at him. For some reason, he felt a strange feeling in his chest.

It didn't take long for him to figure out what he felt was guilt, but he shrugged it off. He'd be leaving in a few weeks anyway.

"What are you thinking about?" you asked while you poked his chest.

Then he remembered the packet in his hand, and he showed them to you. "I thought we could plant these together. Do you like them?"

"I would love to, and they're my favorite," you pecked his cheek and yawned afterward.

"Let's sleep now, precious." he wrapped a hand around you, holding you close to him.

Just a few more weeks, he told himself before shutting off the lamp on his nightstand.

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I have to make a new taglist so If anyone wants to be added pls lmk!

Permanent taglist:®• @hello-stranger24 @ashxsmoon @lhsggg @scarlet127 @bunhoons @axartia @kpopscruggles @badidealy @heeseungleeworld @jayroseyy @bangchanhasbigfeet @duolingofanaccount @oceanyocean @hee-in @heesgirl @bambisgirl @heeaddict @heartandfangs @nyxtwixx @iamliacamila

Thanks for reading likes comments and reblogs are always appreciated sorry for any typos or errors I hope you all have a good day/night🖤

[coldresolve]

Hi, I'm Elias, I'm a 26yo trans guy from Denmark. I write shit, I draw shit, and I get into unneccesarily tedious arguments with anons about torture apologia in fiction. I think that sums up my vibe

I've made a few posts about this already, but tl;dr: the Danish NHS has been refusing to treat me for gender dysphoria for the better part of a year now because they've deemed me "unstable." Unstable how, you ask?

I have depression.

No, that is quite literally it. Full context under the readmore.

Fighting to be heard and having the door repeatedly slammed in your face sucks peak ass, and I'm done now. The NHS is so lackluster when it comes to trans people, all of a sudden, it makes perfect sense to me why 31% of transgender Danes get HRT outside of the NHS.

And I'd rather not have to turn to the black market, so rn I'm hoping to get a prescription with GenderGP. The issue is, I'm poor as fuck and can't afford the start-up fees for the forseeable future - unless I do something like this. I hate asking others for money, and I hate it even more if I'm not in a place where I can give anything in return. But I also recognize I'm in over my head with this, so. If you've got a cent or two to spare, I'd be grateful as hell.

I've mathed it out, and my best estimate is that I need around 3500,- DKK / $500 USD. Again, this is just to cover the initial subscription as well as mandatory consultations/blood tests. I should be able to cover the prescriptions on my own, as well as further tests/consultations down the line, so I'm hoping this is a one-and-done sort of thing.

paypal: elimunpau@gmail.com

Also, important note. We're in a global cost of living/housing crisis and this isn't a strict life-or-death situation. If you're in a tough spot right now, don't send me anything, that'd just make me feel worse about asking. I appreciate the thought but you gotta take care of your own needs first. Peace and take care ✌️

So I've been dealing with major depressive disorder since I was 11. It runs in my family, and as you might imagine, after 15 years of living with this thing, I've learned how to manage it pretty well by now. I know what it's like to genuinely be unstable - and if I were in a place like that, no problem, I'd be open about that. I wouldn't be making decisions like this. I know myself. You kind of have to when you're dealing with a chronic mental illness.

Here's where I am right now: I've got no suicidal ideation, been clean from self harm for four years, no psychosis, no inpatient admissions for the last five years. I live on my own, take my meds, and I'm keeping my life in order. Depressed, yes, but about as stable as someone with my history can get, and ask anyone who knows me, me wanting to get on HRT isn't some spur of the moment decision. I've done a fucking decade of soul searching, and a few years ago, I finally (duh) reached the conclusion that living as a woman isn't something I can even fake being content with - believe me, I've tried. I'm well aware of the scope of medical transition, but I'm settled in who I am. And I just want to live like me now. That's the only thing I want.

If it counts for anything, my partner and family have supported me through this, which has been priceless obviously, but it also goes to show that me saying "I'm capable of making medical decisions" isn't purely a personal assessment. I'm pretty sure they'd speak up if they thought I was being unstable about it or whatever

But the CPH clinic for sexology, who have consistently refused to listen to me telling them all this, have somehow magically aquired divine knowledge on my capacity to make adult decisions about my own body, and on the basis that I have MDD, they're refusing to even set me up for a preliminary interview - one that would preceed a 6 month full-team psych evaluation before the prospect of HRT would even come up. They said in their latest refusal that they wont accept another referral from me until a year after my last in-clinic conversation with them, which happened on October 24th, 2023 - meaning that with the NHS, if they accepted my referral come October (which I don't have much faith they will), the earliest I could possibly get on HRT is April 2025. Arguing for my own sanity would've sucked enough as is, but it's made harder by the fact that they won't even talk to me. You're a trans guy who would like healthcare, but you have a mental illness? Good luck, you're on your own. Long live the Danish bureaucracy.

Dysphoria makes me fucking miserable. I'd rather not have to write a sob story here, and tumblr is like 80% trans people so I guess a good portion of you can imagine why waiting another year for the possibility of maybe-perhaps-if-all-goes-well getting on HRT would not actually make me less miserable about it.

So. I'm sitting down next week along with my mom to file a formal complaint with the patient's rights committee. I don't know what to call this other than some form of discrimination on the basis of mental illness, because nothing in my current situation would prohibit me from making medical decisions for myself. And I honestly don't think that a complaint is going to do much, but I intend to make it obnoxiously long, because by law, a specialized doctor and an attorney have to read through the whole thing. If you can't beat 'em, make 'em read 50 pages of you going into detail about why you think they suck, right

And yeah, like I said, in the meantime, I'm trying to go via GenderGP. It'd be nice if my poor ass could get HRT via the NHS instead of having to pay out of pocket, but apparently the bar for entry requires that you 1) have gender dysphoria to the point where it impedes normal function and 2) somehow aren't mentally ill. Who wrote these rules? Some 60yo cis guy in a suit in Christiansborg, I imagine.

Feel free ask about anything relating to this whole situation, I'll be as open as I can about it, cause I understand that if you're going to give money to someone, you want to know what it's going to. Though I hope you understand I'm not going to doxx myself more than I already have now, or give you my entire medical history - only what's relevant to my current situation.

I know Denmark is a welfare state and on a global scale we're doing alright, but I hope you don't mind if I say this: This shouldn't be happening as often as it does. Fuck the Danish NHS.

[minimarvelh]

Saw the last ask you got and just had two throw my two cents into the conversation. First of all, a big Yeesss to all of what anon said, like smart Peter and bamf Peter for the win. But also strong Peter? Like very very strong Peter? Like, it's canon that Spiderman is stronger than all of the Avengers, even the Hulk in some comics. But then there are so many fic where he gets pushed around by Cap, Bucky and Nat during sparing and fights and stuff? Wtf? Natasha? Sure she's badass but no amount of technique and martial arts can help you take someone down who's like enhanced over all, has a sixth sense warning for danger and is several times stronger than Captain America. You don't just knock someone on their back who can lift a flipping building just cause you have more experience and know several fighting styles like how should that work? Apart from the fact that Peter is smart and won't just run into the fight with someone he knows has more experience than himself. Yeah ... I needed to get that off my chest lmao

ABSOLUTELY yes, I was always wondering like WTF HOW like how is that even possible if he is super strong?😭how Nat can knock him off, even with her techniques, I thinks it’s really REALLY hard to win against spiderman, with all his senses, his powers and abilities. He would feel that she would do the punch before the punch itself, so she could win only by confusing his senses but idk how she or any other avenger would do that. I thing their advantages are 1) experience and techniques (but that alone is not enough to win against spiderman) 2) team..I think that is the only way they could win against spiderman. Steve + Nat + Clint against Peter — there is a high chance they could win (with proper plan) maybe Tony or Hulk could win against him, but not the Nat or Clint.

thank you for sending your ask, I completely agree with you!! I hope you are having a good day❤️

[covid-safer-hotties]

The air travel issue no one wants to talk about - Posted Aug 20, 2024

I’m sick of getting sick on planes.

I got another case of COVID-19 last month, on a domestic flight, sitting near a woman who was sneezing. I wore an N95 mask, but she was only wearing the loose surgical type. I suspect she knew she was infectious.

There was nothing I could do about it. There were no seats to move into and, besides, to do so seemed a bit hysterical at the time.

Two days later – bingo. I wasn’t very ill, but I was visiting immune-compromised people and I put them at risk.

Nowadays, talking about masks – and indeed the virus itself – is deeply unsexy. They’re a symbol of a past we’d rather not remember, even though that past is still our present and future while the disease keeps mutating.

But I still want to talk about masks because COVID-19 keeps happening to travellers, ruining holidays and causing potential long-term health issues, and yet airlines, government authorities and most passengers don’t want to know about it.

Just look around any flight. Or bus or train. Despite a few people clearly being sick, only a tiny percentage mask up. It’s not just as a precaution against COVID-19. There’s influenza, RSV and other infections of a weakened immune system which, perhaps unsurprisingly, can be caused by repeated COVID-19 infections.

Maybe COVID-19 is “just like a cold” and I shouldn’t fret. I certainly hope so because scientists are still learning about how each infection harms the body, with little idea what the consequences will be in three, 10 or 20 years.

I’m told I should “get over it”. But it’s not over with me.

Constant new variants mean we’re unlikely ever to be immune, even though the healthy among us won’t get terribly sick due to excellent boosters. COVID-19 cases have surged worldwide these past two or three months. Many Olympic athletes had their dreams shattered by catching it before their trials.

There’s massive public denial. Not many people bother to test these days. If you don’t test, you don’t know, so you’re free to assume you don’t have it. That’s certainly the skewed logic I’ve heard a lot lately.

So, if you’re masking on a flight, you’re in rare company.

During the pandemic, masks became a symbol of divisiveness, enraging sectors of our society who thought mask mandates took away personal freedoms. The freedom to get sick and infect others, I suppose.

I’m not quite sure what the humble, practical facemask did to deserve the controversy, despite being quietly worn for decades in Asian countries and by medical staff, but the culture war against it still rages.

It’s very possible, in certain societies, that if you wear a medical mask, you’ll have it ripped off your face or even get arrested.

Recently, Nassau County, New York, became the first county in the tri-state area (Connecticut, New York and New Jersey) to pass a ban on anyone over 16 wearing a face covering on public streets and property. It’s a criminal offence, and police have the authority to arrest people who refuse to take off their masks.

In New York city, mayor Kathy Hochul is considering a mask ban on subways, even as the city’s health department urges people to wear masks to combat an unprecedented rise in summer COVID-19 cases.

The laws are mostly directed at protesters who wear face coverings, and not people protecting themselves against disease. But the immunocompromised are angry that once again the mask has become the issue, not the behaviour.

Aerosol scientists conclude that N95 masks are 95 per cent efficient in blocking airborne particles. But over hours in a confined space, when you might have to lower your mask to drink, eat and sleep, they’re less effective, especially when the infected person isn’t masked properly too.

Currently, we rely on our fellow travellers being considerate. That’s a big ask. I suppose you could bring a few spare N95 respirators to distribute to passengers in your row as a precaution, but that might be misconstrued as rude.

But here’s the thing – I know if I get sick, my precautions haven’t worked. But it’s impossible to know how many other times I might have become ill if I hadn’t worn a mask to protect me.

So, even though the sight of me wearing a mask angers some people, and looks foolish to others, and even mentioning it drives people crazy, I’m sticking with the cover-up.

[profounddefendorcrusade-blog]

Another Starlo rant + there's some stuff to clarify

this is my reply to the latest post from @a-legacy-not-to-be-forgotten bc i feel like he mainly had me in mind when he wrote it, which I don't mind, really. After all, we're both apologists of different characters and i DO respect your opinion. Just wanted to throw my two cents in and clarify some stuff (please read till the end)

Exhibit A (having Moray walk around with a snake in their boot and giving them rashes): I always thought this was some kind of job policy, all bc Star's so ambitious and expected his (future) employees to be the same. He wanted everyone to prove they were "real" cowboys. That's also why everyone had lassons for 8 weeks and he had that kangaroo locked in a cell for sneaking a phone in (although it IS hypocritical that Star himself is allowed to own a TV).

Star expects a lot from everyone because he himself gives it his all to make this town as realistic as possible and makes everybody behave like real cowboys (and imo he thought Moray was fine with having a snake in their boot for a week since they probably didn't complain. Star most likely didn't even know the snake gave them rashes/apologized if Moray had told him this). Honestly he's too obsessed and passionate and can be too much without realizing it, that I can't deny

Exhibit B (The Boulder Droppers): No matter how severe (It IS severe), I still see this as super careless (and super forgetful of Starlo), rather than reckless. Again, another instance where he screws up but there's no ill intent. Also he apologized for this to Gilbert

Exhibit C (blaming Clover for everything that happened and shooting them over it): TRUE 100%

...now, Ceroba was doing her best to understand Starlo and he needed her to get back on the right track, but I still think she views him more as a manchild than someone worthy of respect. I don't hate Ceroba or see her as a heartless bitch and a terrible friend (there's that post of mine where I explained everyone's flaws, and it turns out Starlo is the most flawed of them all, which I admitted). I just think her and Star aren't on the same wavelength.

She WAS on the same wavelength as Chujin and that's why I ship them. Ceroba deeply admired him (still does) and honesty she has the right to love whoever she wants. Still, I can't get out of my head how she thought that her wanting to date Starlo in the past must have had to do with the fact "her brain was still developing," or how she lied to him about the sheriff stuff just to spare his feelings. I get the intentions but she should have told him how she really felt (based on her many annoyed faces I got the message Roba never liked any of this + she says she doesn't understand it). I genuinely saw it as her babysitting/pitying him for his childish fantasies instead of actually enjoying participating in the antics (she does like observing the five tho)

And yeah, everyone (Ed, Ace, Mooch, Moray, Ceroba) knew Starlo ADORED westerns, obviously, but what they DIDN'T know or try to figure out is the deeper meaning as to WHY. I feel like everybody thought it was simply a childish fantasy and didn't stem from any deeper insecurities (the FF, just like Starlo, aren't very good with communicating their feelings; why else would they criticise Starlo right in the middle of town where everyone could hear them instead of going someplace private to have the talk)

HOWEVER!

List of Starlo's character flaws I believe he has: insecure, overly enthusiastic, careless (not reckless bc he doesn't intent to cause chaos), cocky, too obsessed with his status & social image, arrogant, mischievous (particularly with Blackjack), childish, needs too much external validation, uses escapism too much, people pleaser, wants to be everyone's "hero," ignorant, naive, too optimistic, overbearing, too ambitious, stubborn, emotional & sensitive to criticism, too obsessed to the point he ignores everyone and everything else, actually IS selfish (I wanna take this opportunity to correct myself. Starlo should have listened to his posse and not have snapped like that & dismissed what they had to say, but they should have also let him know how they felt way earlier and tried to understand Star's pov & deeper insecurities he has & should have not publicly lectured him since they SHOULD know how much he wants to protect the reputation he worked hard to earn. Everyone should have reacted differently)

We don't know what Starlo was like before Clover but based on the way none of his posse ever talked smack about him, gave him dirty looks, or overall acted like they didn't wanna be part of the team, I assumed they either didn't mind his enthusiasm before he got obsessed with Clover, or kept their frustrations with his passion hidden well and didn't choose to communicate at all with him about how they really feel.

As for Star himself, I just don't see him as having been a bad boss. Ed even said how he would always ask him nicely to do stuff, and Dina explains how the only arguments the five of them had were about trivial matters, and how things were pretty predictable before Clover. So I don't think he had made any huge fuck ups. The five were always together in all their shenanigans (Dina says they're like siblings) and Ceroba mentions how she hasn't seen Star "this ecstatic in some time". Which is why I think he didn't step outta line or mistreat others before his dream of meeting a human came true.

HOWEVER #2!

I just remembered a single line of dialogue from Ed, which suggests that Star might have been more bossy than I thought and didn't actually ever ask his posse about their opinions. If this is the case, and probably is because Ceroba says he had changed a lot, scratch that stuff I said before about him not being a bad boss

He acts selfish because he's insecure, but I still shouldn't have used that as an excuse. It's interesting how he's got both selfishness and selflessness inside him at the same time, but yeah, bc of his undeniable charm I overlooked the selfishness part. guilty as charged

time to add that and his bossiness as another one of star's many flaws

Another thing: while all of Ceroba's flaws seem to come from the tragedy that had struck her (besides being stubborn), every single one of Starlo's flaws stem from him and how he feels about himself. He had a normal family, a best friend, and his own friend group, with whom he could discuss his nerdy interests. I think THIS is what makes him so loveable. He techincally doesn't have a real REASON to feel unhappy, but he did, before he became 'North Star' But that persona was exactly WHAT he needed to let go of to be himself and be truly happy

I once jokingly mentioned how Starlo's name could mean "Star + loser" and the more I think about it, the more it makes sense for his arc. He wants to be 'North Star' (all cool and badass and important), but in reality, the real him is just a nice guy who loves his friends. And even if that doesn't make him popular and a loser farmer instead, at least that is the real him who he shouldn't have been running away from

I do love when my fave character ain't perfect and has inner conflicts to work on

To conclude this rant, I want to apologize to the Four and Ceroba for not taking into consideration their pov more and being way too obsessed with this charming nerd

also, @a-legacy-not-to-be-forgotten, your rant gave me much to rethink and for that I thank you

[autumnmobile12]

After the release of the official Nocturne trailer, we're all asking where Alucard is.

Here's my two cents and two theories:

Theory 1: The Years Got to Him

Being effectively immortal, Alucard would have watched Trevor and Sypha die, and then he inevitably would have watched their children die, and then their grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

How long would it have been before couldn't bear the thought of seeing another life he'd known since birth age and pass away? How many times did he recognize Sypha's laugh or Trevor's eyes in their descendants before he said, "No more. I can't do this any more."

So he puts himself to sleep with the instructions to the family to wake him 'in their darkest hour' or something like that. Over time, he becomes a family legend and then forgotten. In his absence, the Belmont village crumbles and disappears, taking with it all the knowledge and advancements its people.

Because as we know from the original series, humans forget.

...

Theory 2: The Belmonts Drove Him Out

I know what you're thinking: Trevor and Sypha would never. And you're right, they wouldn't. Their children and grandchildren probably wouldn't either. By the time we get to Christopher Belmont, he probably never met his great-grandparents, but he would know the stories and honor their memories.

But in the two hundred years between him and Richter?

The Belmonts are a long-lasting family, and like any other family, they can adapt and go through changes. They are subject to past traumas and prejudices, can lose sight of original purposes, or can straight up become corrupted by any number of things.

We see it with kings, emperors, CEOs, and even just regular families. All it takes is one asshole who chose to ignore the wisdom of his ancestors to ruin a good thing.

Say some Belmont down the line--Soleil, Simon, or Juste or anyone--lost someone important to a vampire and they swore vengeance on the entire race, as Dracula had once done on humanity. Alucard steps in to stop them and remind them of their history, and his words are met with a cold, "What do you know? You're just an old dhampir we should have done away with decades ago!"

This is just a scenario, but it is a possibility Alucard could have had a falling out with his family. Maybe they tried to kill him and he fled. Maybe they nearly succeeded in killing him and he sealed himself in his coffin to recover as he did in the original series.

He's no stranger to betrayal, after all.

This would depend heavily on the 'dear person' Olrox lost. Was their death warranted? Were they a menace to society and had to be put down?

Or have the Belmonts gone astray and Richter's mother killed them simply for existing? This option might be indicative as to why Olrox spared Richter. Killing a defenseless child would have saved him a lot of trouble in the future, but perhaps he chose to be better (the lesson learned in the original series) than the mother and risk the consequences later. Mother might have killed just because of a vampire, but Olrox refused to kill just because Richter was a Belmont.

...

Unrelated, but this could also be a set-up a 'break the chain of sorrow' trope in which this scenario played out: Richter's father was killed by Olrox's 'friend' for lack of a better word, Richter's mother then kills Olrox's lover out of vengeance, Olrox kills her out of vengeance, leaving Richter to either take vengeance himself or break the chain of sorrow by accepting that if this revenge continues, there will be nothing left but sorrow.

I'm probably putting way too much thought into all of this, but...there you go.