#I got the color coordinated autism

[butchharts]

are we fucking with the fit today

[moominpopzz]

Just spent like 2 hours sorting beads god I love autism

[strazki]

School Bus Graveyard headcanons no one asked for but will still get 😤

Ashlyn has autism. Honestly pretty much canon at this point, considering what we've seen of her, but still

The whole group took a hot second to adjust, but they are now so accommodating to it

Obviously there's the noise issues, but they also recognize when she needs to be alone, and they don't bother her too much about her being so asocial

I’m projecting but I just love these guys

ANYWAY, on a completely different subject, I think Taylor is actually a really good singer! She's just very shy about it

I also think Aiden can definitely play drumset

Top that off with Tyler canonically playing guitar, all you need to do is give Ben a bass or something and then they're basically just a little band!

I think they would be called the Phantoms or some shit like that

Ashlyn can do backup vocals, and I love my boy Logan but he's giving stage manager vibes a little bit lol

Someone's gotta do it

Taylor and Tyler share their clothes all the time. We already see that they have the same room, which most likely means the same closet, and since the two of them have a relatively similar build (and thus, similar clothing sizes), they just don't really bother separating their clothes (probably why they're matching so often)

Aiden does so much stupid rich kid shit. Not obnoxiously, but just out of a lack of understanding

Probably says some shit to the others like "Wait, your parents didn't get you a car? I know we can't drive yet, but you can still like... take pictures with it."

Bro has no idea he's that rich

The twins absolutely love going over to Ashlyn's place to get self-defense training from Mike and Emma. With their father being gone for a while, and their mom being not all there (for lack of a better description), it's been a long time since they've had a stable parental figure in their lives

Ashlyn's parents are just so nice to them and treat them like their own kids. I just think it's something they needed in their life that they found in an unexpected place :(

Ben loves to paint! He took up art and drawing ever since he lost his voice, and finds painting specifically very calming

He's been working on portraits for each of his friends that are all lying half-finished around his room

Even when he finishes them, though, he probably wouldn't show them for a while because he's quite nervous about it

If he DOES show them, he would definitely give Taylor her's first, because that's who he feels closest to

She cries

I feel like Logan, with working at the flower shop and all that, probably spends a bit of time putting together little bouquets for his friends

Not as like a grand show of affection, but just little gifts to show his appreciation for them being around and caring about him

Probably personalizes them a LOT too. Not only does he coordinate them to match the favorite colors/flowers of the person he's making them for, but he knows all the symbolic meanings behind each flower

Like, for example, I bet he gets yellow roses for Ben to signify friendship, and pink roses for Ashlyn to signify gratitude, that sort of stuff

His love language is gift giving and he's never had friends as close as these guys, leave him alone >:[

Okay that's all I got right now send tweet

[iamsonormalaboutninjago]

Ninjago movie influence appreciation post: ✨

The Ninjago movie influenced the show a lot yet there are still a lotta parts which aren’t talked about as much as they should be~

The redesigns are either great or okay | A lotta the people who hated them when they came out have either left the community or just accepted that this is how ninjago is gonna look. Which isn’t a bad thing, personally I love the redesigns cause they all look more grown up.

Each ninja got a specific weapon | Before the movie the main four had their usual weapons but Lloyd and Nya had the same weapons as Kai. It’s not bad on its own but making each ninja have a specific weapon just adds a little more individuality to them, plus it created a great situation in Dragons Rising where the new ninja can get their own special weapons too :>

The original plot for S8 SUCKED | the original idea was for it to be a direct continuation of Hands of Time, but due to the movie they were forced to add Garmadon. Most people don’t like Hands of Time but both the haters and the enjoyers can agree that the original S8 plot is mediocre at best. IMO it might’ve killed the series, ninjago was starting to go into a rut where not everyone enjoyed the new seasons, and another Hands of Time might’ve been the end of it.

Color coordination | maybe it’s the impeccable autism but I love how the ninja have very clear colors now. The OG’s (besides Cole) didn’t change that much and Nya got to be (almost) consistently the gun metal gray ninja, which would’ve been awkward if they didn’t swap Cole to having black and orange as his main colors. It’s just simpler and I like how Nya isn’t a coin toss every season now.

Garmadon got to come back | yes it does diminish his sacrifice in ToE but at the same time he’s a very dynamic and good character in the show. He brings out Lloyd’s personality more, he’s a great metaphor for the struggle to being a good person, and he’s consistently the snarkiest character in the roster. At least in Crystalized where him belittling Lloyd and the overlord is what gets me through the slug that is the crystastrophe.

If there’s anything else that the Ninjago movie did that was good for the show please inform me I’d love to know more (:

[cleolinda]

Okay, I am having an issue I can only attribute to The Autism, and I am curious as to whether anyone else vibes with this:

I have an extreme aversion to wearing brown clothing. Like to the point where I started to wonder if I was persecuted by colonial Puritans or steampunk pilots in another life or some shit. It has only developed since I became an adult; I had a perfectly witchy brown and black maxi dress I wore as a teenager, and a pair of shoes I got compliments on all the time. Brown is fine in nature, in decor, on animals, on other people, on anything that isn't me. Love a good neutral (can lean slightly warm) brown eyeshadow; looks great with my complexion. Brown eyes of all shades are beautiful and I love them (I have green). Don't drink coffee but it's not brown's fault. Buy me a chocolate factory and I'll live in it. No real fight to pick with the mere existence of brown.

I wear black. Accessories, shoes, purses, jewelry, wardrobe staples, whatever: always black for the last 20+ years, never brown. It's like I decided that if I always stuck to black, everything would always coordinate, and it just... spiraled from there?

When I went to pick up my new glasses a couple weeks ago, there was some kind of mix-up, and the frames weren't black; they were a dark, almost-black brown with light amber mottling: tortoiseshell. "I HATE TORTOISESHELL" I blurted out (once the sales associate wasn't present. Nobody is paying him enough to deal with that kind of weirdness). I really did not know that I hated tortoiseshell at all until it came up when I was first browsing frames three weeks prior, and I blurted out, "I HATE TORTOISESHELL." I did not know this about myself! It might not have even been true until that moment! It's not the pattern; it's purely the very yellow/orange-leaning shade of brown, on me. Tortoiseshell is lovely on other people! It's aesthetically cromulent! I reacted like someone had offered me a tarantula. I don't know.

I have now reacted so bizarrely--I've spat out "I HATE BROWN" on previous occasions as well--that I'm trying to unpack what the fuck is going on. My best theory at this point is that it has something to do with a neurodivergent aversion to yellow, which I REALLY REALLY HAVE. (Again, yellow is fine wherever doing its own thing, love a gently yellow flower, but I do not want to wear it and it kind of hurts my eyes a little if it's too much. Like I almost feel queasy.) I keep trying to stress-test this aversion in my mind--what shade of brown would I wear? A sweater that's such a dark and neutral brown that it's almost black? A really pretty "brown sugar" color like the eyeshadow I like so much? "Redwood"? "Raw umber"? "Beaver" (........)?

My secondary theory is that it might come down to some kind of involuntary self-assertion thing. "I SAID I WEAR BLACK, WHY AREN'T YOU LISTENING TO ME??" I think... that's a good bit what happened with the glasses. Although I really do react very strongly to the sight of the amber bits (on me).

Anyway, I am usually a very measured, even stoic person with this kind of thing--to the point where I don't stand up for myself enough--so here we are, trying to figure this out. Do you have any kind of vehement aversion like this? Not to something rational (I can't deal with seafood and I stand by that), but like, "I jump back from this like a vampire from garlic and I have no idea why"?

[nitewrighter]

JSGWJB PLEASE THAT WOULD BE SO GOOD I BEG YOU PLEASE WRITE THIS

File this under “Fics that have been in my WIPs for 47 years that I finally got the weird burst of energy to complete today.”

I also dedicate this to the neurodivergent “Oh my god I have been a vulnerable human for entirely too long and I need to leave” instinct. Satya, I understand completely. ADHD-Autism solidarity.

----

Satya woke with the easy, comfortable weight of Pharah's arm curled across her collarbone. She imagined it was about the same kind of weight a shark or a mermaid might know from snuggling under a sunken piece of wood. The sunlight slatted in through the venetian blinds and Satya glanced over at Pharah, half her face obscured by a pillow. There was, briefly, an instinct to go back to sleep, to ride out this vague pleasantness as long as possible, but, already the sensations and realizations were creeping in. Her mind, against her own will, was piecing together why she was where she was. Satya’s eyes flicked to both of their clothes on the floor, to the holo-clock displaying ‘07:09′ in a soft peachy color that was designed to coordinate with the rising sun, again to Pharah’s arm draped across her, to her own lack of clothes, to Pharah’s lack of clothes, to Pharah’s lack of clothes (continued), to---

Satya forced her eyes to the ceiling of the room. What would Sanjay say? Sanjay wasn’t here now--she was away from Vishkar, she had to keep reminding herself she was away from Vishkar, that she was now opposed to Vishkar--God, she was going against Vishkar--had she completely lost her mind? No--no, no, this morning was the result of weeks of conscious decisions. Decisions leading into decisions, leading into more decisions, leading into training and conditioning sessions with Fareeha, leading into afternoons drinking tea with Fareeha, leading into missions with Fareeha, leading into adrenaline-soaked entirely too emotional close calls with Fareeha, leading to long nights talking in the mess hall with Fareeha, leading to long evening walks around the watchpoint with Fareeha, leading to some late-night tea with Fareeha, leading to here.

Leading to here.

With Fareeha.

Satya kept her gaze fixed on the ceiling and tried (and failed) to will all of weight of the last few weeks and its culmination in this morning, this moment, out of her mind. At the time it had all felt so natural--but then what would happen after this? Breakfast? Leaving a toothbrush here? Small talk? Her eyes flicked back to Pharah, who continued to sleep like a rock.

I just need to think, she thought, as she slipped out from under Pharah’s arm.

I just need to think, she kept thinking as she shimmied into her leggings and pulled on her tunic, toeing into her shoes.

I just need to think, she thought as she was speed-walking out the door.

She wasn’t really sure when the thinking would start--really the next thing she knew she was speed-walking and fidgeting with her fingers nearly halfway across the watchpoint with her mind a buzzing blank of continually starting and self-aborting sentences, seemingly none of them able to muster themselves into a complete concept. There was the still-fresh memory of skin on skin and fingers tickling through her hair and the sensations of Pharah’s body hefting against her own--the push and the weight and the warmth. The air off the sea was cold that morning in comparison.

That was not a hookup, Satya finally thought, speed-walking, A Vishkar architech does not ‘hook-up.’ Wait, I’m not an architech anymore-- I mean, I am, just not for Vishkar. I don’t think Fareeha saw it as a hookup--did she? Oh god, I’m an idiot. I’m on a watchpoint occupied by squatting mercenaries--of course they’re--they’re cavorting every chance they get--no, no, she took me to dinner. And to movie night. And she left those little notes-- Then again, she probably goes out with all sorts of people--No, that doesn’t seem right. Given the amount of resources--I mean it’s not like I would know, would I? I’ve hardly gone out--I should have asked--no, I should have--how would I even start that conversation? Do I even want to start that conversation? Oh no she’s going to wake up and I’m going to be gone and what is she going to think but--”

Satya tripped and was nearly sent sprawling onto the tarmac when a metal hand caught her arm.

“Satya,” Zenyatta said warmly, “So good to see you.”

Oh--it was him she nearly tripped over. Had he been meditating or had she simply been so caught up in her head that she didn’t even register him in her visual field?

“Tekhartha...” the name came out of her throatier than she had anticipated as he gently supported her as she pushed back to her usual arrow-straight posture, “It-it’s good to see you too, my friend.”

“You enjoy a morning walk on the watchpoint as well?” Zenyatta tilted his head at her, pleasantly.

“Buh--Yes!” Satya blurted out, “Y-yes,” she said, trying to compose herself. Her hair--she hadn’t brushed her hair.

“It is good that you are settling in and taking moments like this to embrace the space around you,” Zenyatta went on, glancing around, “I find walks in particular are very helpful for--”

“Satya!” A voice called from a few yards behind Satya and she flinched hard. There was a slap-slap-slap of plastic shower sandals on the pavement and Pharah suddenly ran up alongside her, buckling over to catch her breath. She was only wearing workout shorts and a crew neck sweatshirt, “I--You were gone--” Pharah was panting, unusual, given her impressive athletic ability.

 Oh she was panicking, Satya realized.

“If I made you uncomfortable---” Pharah started, “I really didn’t mean--”

“No! No!” Satya was talking over her, “You were wonderful! Last night was--” Satya caught herself and both she and Pharah glanced over at Zenyatta, who was looking at them with his usual benign lack-of-expression. He knew. Satya knew he knew. She wasn’t sure why him having about as much reaction to it as if she had simply gotten a new shirt was making her more nervous, but it was. Pharah had become starkly aware of Zenyatta’s presence as well and glanced down at her crewneck + workout shorts +socks with shower sandals outfit, before jutting her chin back up and also trying to recover some normalcy.

“...Hello,” Pharah said, half-automatically.

“Good morning, Fareeha,” said Zenyatta.

A long, awkward pause passed between the three of them.

“I can leave, if you two require--” Zenyatta looked between them.

“We’re fine--!” Satya started on reflex.

“It’s fine--” Pharah’s voice overlapped with hers, and then they both looked at each other. 

“I--” Pharah started, and then rubbed the back of her neck, “I probably should have just comm’d you or something--”

“I’m sorry,” Satya started, “I didn’t mean for you to worry. I was just...” she was fidgeting with her fingers, “That is-- I only left because---”

“Ah, my apologies--” Zenyatta said easily, “Satya was on her way to retrieve breakfast for you both at the mess hall, when I ran into her. She would have probably been on her way back had I not delayed her.”

“Eh--” Pharah made a short sound and then swallowed, “I--I could have cooked you something...”

Satya felt her ears burning. “I’m... I can be a picky eater,” she said, and a nervous laugh fell out of her, “And the mood seemed so lovely--I just thought it might be easier if I...got us something.”

“I can handle picky,” a smile tugged at the corner of Pharah’s mouth, “But... I do appreciate the thought.” 

Satya smiled and bit her own lip, tucking a bit of hair back, and realizing her hair was still very much a mess.

“Well, I’m very glad that confusion is out of the way,” Zenyatta spoke up at last and both Satya and Fareeha flinched slightly to remember he was there, but he was already floating off, “I hope you both have a wonderful breakfast.”

“You as well!” Satya called after him and then cringed, pressing her hand against her forehead, “...omnics don’t eat...” she muttered under her breath.

Pharah snorted next to her, and Satya peered through her fingers at her.

“He seems nice,” said Pharah, “To be honest, I didn’t talk to him all that much before because it felt awkward with the whole... monk versus soldier thing. But he seems... nice.”

“He is,” said Satya offhandedly. Another long pause passed between them.

“I am new to this and I am bad at it,” Satya said thickly, her hand still pressed on her forehead.

“Oh I wouldn’t say you’re bad at it,” said Pharah, putting her hands on her hips with an arched eyebrow.

Satya pressed her lips thin and side-eyed Pharah.

“...okay poor taste,” Pharah glanced off, “...don’t suppose I can actually take you up on that breakfast?”

“That... would be nice,” said Satya, tucking her hair back again and realizing, again that it was still a mess, “If--I could get a chance to freshen up first--” 

“Oh--” Pharah glanced down at herself, “Right... right.” 

“I’ll comm you--” Satya started, fingers gesturing nervously in front of herself, but Pharah gently took her hand and kissed her knuckles.

“Take all the time you need,” she said, letting Satya’s hand slip from her own.

“Y-yes. I will. I--I mean I’ll get back to you soon! I--” Satya took a short, balancing breath through her nostrils, her ears still burning, “I’m going to go shower.” 

“Mm-hm,” Pharah folded her arms and watched as Satya pivoted and walked off, nervously running her fingers down a messy strand of hair.

[madebysamael]

It's breakdown time again.

My mental health hasn't been great for a while. Tbh, it started tanking after I worked as a vendor selling my handmade jewelry at pride shows in June.

Which went great!! I had best-selling shows and people were really excited about my art. It was awesome.

And then I had to go back to work.

I work full-time, at a desk job in a corporate office. The company is in an industry often used to represent soulless antagonists in movies. My job itself is a specialized position that requires a lot of mental labor. Finding time and energy to create is a challenge, even in the times where things are balanced.

And lately it's been really tough, because the work that needs doing is what I, a person who suspects myself to be on the autism spectrum somewhere, find hellish: I have to navigate bureaucracy and act as a diplomat. I have to coordinate projects between different people and act as a liaison. Most of my job isn't doing anymore, it's figuring out who I need to reach out to, and when, and how do I phrase this so I don't offend anyone? It's inefficient, circular, and often requires me to dance with office politics.

I'm. So. Exhausted.

So, after dragging myself away from the laptop where I've been sending emails and updating spreadsheets all week, I was so excited, because last weekend, I got to escape to my favorite fantasy world: Good Omens. To a life in color, to an eternity ever after.

You all know what happens.

It opened the floodgates. I started losing focus at work, couldn't remember where we were at on projects, who I was waiting on, who I needed to contact - hell, I couldn't even remember to bring my lunch.

I was thinking about GO, but not about the story itself. Instead, it was about how, best-case scenario, it will be 2+ years before they get their happy ending. About how leaving them in limbo for so long fucking hurts.

About how 2-3 years is a long time. Long enough for Neil, David or Michael to have an accident, an illness. About how it would never be the same if they had to recast, or if someone else wrote. Imagine GO without Michael's microexpressions, without David's face reading like an open book even with glasses on. Without Neil's love for the world he shared with Terry pouring out into every single frame of it.

2-3 years is a long time. Long enough for me to get in a car accident, to develop cancer. I already had a cancer scare in 2022; luckily, I was fine. One of my best friends got lymphoma around my age. She, luckily, is also fine now.

But one of my other best friends, who had a heart attack, just a few years older than me... He's in a wooden box in his wife's living room.

And his 10-year wedding anniversary was on July 27, 2023. The day GOS2 was released.

So here I am. A week later, trying to keep it together and failing, thinking it's just a fucking TV show, it shouldn't matter so much...

But it's never just one thing. Every pain carries the weight of all the pain that came before it. I'm carrying the weight of Karl's death, of Steph's cancer, of the family members I've lost that would take too long to list here, several before even David's age.

And I'm struggling to even draw now. Or make jewelry, or sew. The creative pursuits, the things that are supposed to make the rote office job worth it, the things it supports... I feel no joy for them. Even simple things like screenshot studies are excruciating, taking far too long. My problem-solving skills are completely drained at work, and that makes drawing so much harder.

I see so many others creating beautiful things from the pain and getting well-deserved recognition for it. But the ideas aren't coming for me, and even if they were, where would I find the energy?

I don't know how to dig myself out of this spiral. It's so very tiring, and so very, very lonely.

[iconicsapphics]

hi all. it’s been a while since i’ve logged on here. i have a new blog (@carefuldaughtercas*). i’ve transferred schools to one of the best universities in my state, i’ve learned a lot about myself and my relationship with my body. i’ve gone through the worst mental health episodes of my life and i’ve been the happiest i’ve ever been.

and i got engaged tonight. if you’d told the version of me that started this blog, back when i was in high school, i would have lost my mind. i know that’s a cliche, babe. but it’s true.

i’m a little tipsy now. bear with me.

when i started this blog, it was under the url confusedsapphics. i was questioning my sexuality, questioning my brain, questioning my own value. i didn’t know what i wanted and i didn’t know whether i would deserve what i wanted even if i knew the answer. i didn’t know what my sexuality was, i didn’t know who i was, i didn’t know anything.

i met my now-fiancée(!) in the same coffee bean i used to spend all my time in, agonizing over my sexuality and general teenaged angst. i got to know her working on a web series i made to work through that same angst. i fell in love with her while taking the next steps forward, after getting rejected from my top choice schools, while coming into my own, after navigating another, broken relationship, while finally getting an autism diagnosis, growing comfortable in my own body, learning what i was capable of doing with my life.

and i’m not there yet. my relationship to my body is complex, i’m in grad school application hell, i still have no idea how to accommodate my own neurodivergence.

but she is safe. she is home. every time i have a problem, a fear, an anxiety, every time i make a mistake or get overwhelmed or confused, she’s there. and we talk about it. and i leave the conversation not only feeling better about whatever issue was going on, i feel better in our relationship, which i never think is even possible. but it is. every day with her is better than the last.

i know she can take care of me and i know that i know her well enough to take care of her. i’ve loved her for at least three years now, maybe more. when i first came out as a lesbian, the month i turned eighteen, i didn’t think i’d ever find love. not in a particularly dramatic way; i was just relatively certain it wouldn’t happen for me, and i was okay with that. i didn’t let myself want a life partner because i didn’t want the disappointment that would inevitably come without having one.

i was wrong. i was so wrong. she’s watching comedy clips online next to me right now. we’re wearing color coordinated pajamas. she has a ring on her finger that i chose for her. she’s showing me supernatural posts. she just bought us tickets to go to the metropolitan museum of art tomorrow. i love her more than i thought i’d love anyone ever.

anyway. i guess this is all to say—i’m glad i have this blog to show me how far i’ve come. and if anyone stumbles across this blog, or still follows it, or remembers me from way back when… that’s how i am. i’m engaged. i’m a lesbian, i’m still learning, i’m still growing, and i’m unbelievably in love.

love you all.

-ju*

*yes i’m a supernatural blogger now. ish. sorry

*did i ever use the name iz on this blog? that’s what i use everywhere else.

[heylookitsghost]

Tag Game

tagged by: @thrakaboom (heads up this has romo stuff in it for my current partner so just letting yall know)

If romo repulsed but wanna particpate: Relationship status/Favorite color/Favorite food/Song stuck in head/Last listened to song/Dream vacation/Last google search

-

Relationship Status: uhhhh it’s complicated?

Semi-Polyamorous, but a partner passed away. My other partner and I have been ongoing for about 2 years now, and we just exchanged promise rings gkfkgd. <3 they got me through all of this ngl I couldn’t have made it this far without him.

Favorite Color: warm colors

I tend to go with a warm yellowy pastel color, a nice golden tone, or pink, but lately a warm toned lavender has been calling to me. I’ve also been known to dabble in warm greens (sage and olive). Cool colors can fuck off tho.

Favorite Food: uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

whatever the autism gods are allowing at the moment? lately gogo squeezes get me to take my meds, and i Improvise when it comes to other food. my adoptive family’s cooking and mangos are so wonderful always tho.

Song Stuck in my Head:

Last Song Listened to:

Dream Vacation: Toss up!

I’m hoping to go to a Taylor Swift concert so that is Filling My Brain 24/7 but djfjg normally i just want to go to the beach near my childhood home and see all the things near there.

Last Google Search: SKGDKDKSJDJKF

“Titanic Wedding Venue” to see if I can surprise my partner with something related to her special interest when the time eventually comes hjdkgd. Anyways! yeah. also turns out titanic weddings are like. weirdly cheap???? Venues are typically 6k+, but to get married on the staircase is like 2.5k for the Fanciest option. It also like???? Comes with a photographer and wedding coordinator and music and Everything at that price??? And for mystery amount extra they’ll give you a Secret floor access and catering included. So?????? Maybe. Strong contender. Also its worth noting this isn’t a like. Nearby thing but xyr visiting the museum now and fell in love because Special Interest so I was just… Peeping. Because I thought a staircase entrance and setting could be cool and special for him dcjdfjfz. Anyways! Yeah!!!

Tagging: @the-june-cooperative @local-aro-cryptid @arokill @loverofphobetor (my biggest tumblr fan /positive) . anyways have fun! its optional if you wanna but go for it.

[hyperthinks]

15 questions for 15 mutuals ^_^ i was tagged by @socialbunny!

1. are you named after anyone?

nope to both my birth name and chosen name! my motivation behind picking the name miles was that it 1. had the same first initial as my birth name and 2. PEOPLE COULD ACTUALLY SPELL IT LMAOOO

2. when was the last time you cried?

i graduated college last weekend and i dont know if id consider it a Full Cry because all i did was tear up but when i gave my favorite professor a hug after i went onstage i was screaming and crying and throwing up on the inside

3. do you have kids?

nope!

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

yeah but in a lighthearted way! im a goofy guy but i dont ever want my jokes to come off as too mean spirited

5. what sports do you play/have you played?

HELP im so shit at sports 😭 my hand eye coordination and depth perception are both awful so im not good at any of them… when i was in the 3rd grade my mom put me in cheerleading and i had such bad social anxiety as a kid that when it was my turn to cheer i would just CRY. it makes for a funny story though

6. what’s the first thing you notice about other people?

ooh this ones tough. uhhh it depends on the situation i first meet them in but generally their voice and speech patterns? when i was a kid i didnt inflect a lot (autism.) so i had to “study” other people… i think that’s kind of a holdover from that ?

7. eye color?

brown! ^_^

8. scary movies or happy endings?

hmmm. depends on what mood i’m in and also how well its written!

9. any special talents?

well i just graduated magna cum laude (CUM? 🤨) with a BFA in graphic design so i HOPE i’m good at that LMAOOOO

outside of that? im decently good at digging through code and messing with hex editing for someone who has no formal coding experience outside of HTML and CSS

10. where were you born?

the united states! i was born in missouri but i’ve lived in georgia most of my life

11. what are your hobbies?

ooh lets see. i like researching unused content and the effects of glitches in video games (lifelong special interest. teehee) in addition to, well. actually playing the games. i used to draw a lot more (if you’re reading this and you followed me from my furry twitter: I’m Sorry) but i’ve shifted a lot of my creative energy towards writing (check out my tycutio fanfiction) and graphic design (i need to post some of my stuff here… my senior project was sims 2 themed even)

12. do you have any pets?

i do! we got my dog daisy (lab mix) when i was really little, and she’s 15 now!

we also have a tortoise named tortimer (after the guy from animal crossing) but we just call him torti

13. how tall are you?

5’8” but i used to be 5’9” before scoliosis nerfed me (<- coping and seething)

14. fave subject in school?

in high school it was probably literature, but in college i’d say typography? i like letters. teehee

15. dream job?

please for the love of god i want a job making promotional materials for a game company SO BAD.

i tag… YOU!!! >:D nahhh jk but i AM gently tapping my mutuals on the shoulder if they want to do this . ^_^

[banannabethchase]

15 Questions, 15 Mutuals

tagged by: @onlyposersfallinlove

Are you named after anyone? First name is after Sara from The Little Princess, which was my mom's favorite book as a kid. Middle name is from my grandmother.

When was the last time you cried? That is a great question. I honestly don't know.

Do you have any kids? No. Not yet. Hopefully soon.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Way too often. I kind of had to learn it as a literal second language because of where I grew up and how my family works, so it's kind of my default at this point.

What's the first thing you notice about people? Hair. I'm slightly face blind (thanks autism) so I overdepend on hair styles to help me remember new people.

What's your eye color? Greeeeeen.

Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings.

Any special talents? My intuition and gut sense is uncannily accurate. I process data and patterns on weird level (this time, not sarcastically, thanks autism) so I often Know Things before they are known.

Where were you born? New Hampshire

What are your hobbies? Writing, crochet, audiobooks, napping, reading, flute, drawing, painting

Have you had any pets? Right now I have two unbelievably dopey dogs. I've also had a hamster and 9 other dogs.

What sports do you/have you played? I played soccer as a kid and in high school. Ran track and field (specialties were the 200m and the triple jump, but they kept wanting me to do the 400m and 1000m and I was...not happy about it). I got kicked off of t-ball because my eyes sucked and off of basketball because my hand-eye coordination sucks.

How tall are you? 5'8. I am inconveniently tall.

Favorite subject in school? The writing workshop class I took twice in high school and my freshman year math class.

Dream job? Technically I have my dream job, but the political bullshit gets in the way constantly. My real dream job would be a well-off author who doesn't have to worry about bills.

Taggin some mutuals: @aidaronan and @son-of-rome

[hydrajones]

I got into Homestuck this past year and am under 25 rn. I wouldn't call myself a *serious* fan (I have never taken any of my fandoms super seriously), but I am fixated on it pretty hard rn.

I have no defense for this. The shiney colors made my brain happy... Anyways! I have been rotating the grist system in my head trying to come up with (somewhat) manageable list of of what I think all the different types would be and color coordinating them. This has sent me into an irl alchemy rabbit hole which involves like 15 different types of ""salt"".

No my homework is not done. No I do not have an official autism diagnosis but getting tested is already my new years resolution. Yes you can ask me about my 27 onlyoffice sheets/slideshows/etc that I am trying to decide/decode the grist in. No it will mot make sense. Hope this answered ops (probably) rhetorical question!

It always makes me wonder when I bump into a really serious Homestuck fan who's under the age of 25, because that means either you were reading it when you were eight years old, or you got into it when it was well past its peak and you're still Like This, and both options raise fascinating questions.

[donutboxers]

one thing you have to understand about me is that i got the color coordination autism

[babygirlsincars]

to kinda throw in an example of what im talking about in my prev tags but in a tiktok i saw recently it was about how george talks about how he keeps everything color coordinated even now and all the comments were like "oh i do that too but i got autism to explain it" which like the "joke" is that maybe hes got a touch of tism too but nobody is ever seriously saying he does. can be said the same for the amount of posts on basically every platform that talks about how fruity some of the drivers are sometimes. i saw a whole twitter thread about shit max has done thats v pride month of him. anyways just to say that nobody is ever seriously saying a person is a certain thing but usually just noticing stuff and relating it to stuff they already know. its how humans work lmao

[saltymcsaltything]

30 Days of Autism Acceptance - (belated) Day 7

7 April: Do you have other diagnoses? What are they? Do you think that some could be incorrect?

I have several diagnoses. In addition to Autism, I got ADHD, dyspraxia and dyslexia during my evaluation. I fully expected the ASD and ADHD diagnoses, but I had never heard of dyspraxia. It makes perfect sense given my history of coordination issues, it just wasn’t recognized during childhood.

Dyslexia surprised me but that’s because I had a naive understanding of how it can manifest. I have issues with line spacing, fonts, color choices, and inconsistencies in the shape of characters, and I tend to inadvertently skip words or lines. It’s less of an issue with books with simple formatting, such as novels, but trips me up with textbooks, multi column text, books with small print like Dictionaries, and especially electronic text with cluttered layouts and hostile font choices.

Prior to my evaluation, I was also diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, and PTSD. The PTSD is pretty obvious what with the horrific flashbacks and very clear traumatic events. The GAD almost completely overlaps with the lifelong emotional dysregulation, it just got much worse during the events that led to the PTSD. The depression is hard to distinguish from what I now think was autistic burnout. I don’t think those were misdiagnosed per se, but they weren’t the full picture.

Beyond that, I’ve got co-occurring physiological and neurological conditions, almost too many for me to remember. The big ones are joint hypermobility (possibly EDS but I don’t have a diagnosis yet), Mast Cell Activation Syndrome, Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, Functional Gallbladder Disorder, Functional IBS, and chronic migraines. I’ve had non-epileptic absence seizures and lots of neuromuscular weirdness with twitches and spasms, but can’t get a solid diagnosis for either of those.

I took the smorgasbord approach to my conditions… a little of this, some of that, a huge scoop of another thing. It’s been… interesting trying to get a handle on it all.

[skewbforty]

Story time: My history with the people that got me into gaming

Note: This is a really long story. Much longer than I usually make my stories. Just thought I'd be upfront with you about that.

I'm recently learned about two conditions that I have. One being Ataxia, which is similar to Dyspraxia with a few key differences. Basically, my hand eye coordination is pretty bad. I also suffer from an information processing delay common with people with autism, which I have and am diagnosed with too. Both of these factors, combined with an unhealthy desire to prove myself, makes me extremely bad at video games. So why then, you may ask, do I talk about it a lot?

Here's the thing.

When I was about 5, I got acquainted with the video game universe by my parents who then thought I could improve my hand-eye coordination by playing games. This was, I believe, around the time the upcoming Game Boy Advance was being hyped up. Naturally it's predecessor, the Game Boy Color, seemed like a good investment. So for my 5th birthday we went down to the local Tesco to pick the Game Boy up, along with a game or 2. And so started my journey as a then-but-also-now-and-forever-more casual gamer with my yellow and blue GBC and Pokemon Crystal.

My relationship with Nintendo is a weird one, but more on that later.

I was hooked by the sense of exploration and adventure, each new area I visited expanding my awe and desire for exploration. Not long later I was introduced to Super Mario 64 and home consoles, Mario 64 being a game I was surprisingly good at. I was becoming a gamer.

Following the release of the Gamecube I was eager to find out what the next generation of both handhelds as well as home consoles from Nintendo was gonna be. Soon after its release I got a Nintendo DS, and then a Wii, and then a 3DS.

But things took a dark turn after the purchase of the 3DS.

Because my DS eventually broke from overuse, I kept playing on my 3DS instead. That was ok. I'd kinda moved on from GBA and GBC games, but I still kept everything in a bag. But the only real lifeline for me was my 3DS and library of DS games, the only thing keeping me happy through extreme amounts of bullying both at school and online, living in a mental hospital with emotionally abusive staff and having parents who at the time, were transparently and unapologetically overjoyed to be rid of me. My life depended on that bag.

To this day, not a single therapist has had an iota of a clue to make me feel better for the absolute hell I endured when that bag was stolen from me on 22 January 2012. I fell into a crippling depression, and I mean crippling. I couldn't move or talk. And I only got out of it by brute force. Blackmail from staff. This caused me to [redacted] several times of the course of the next 5 years. Manifesting pain after pain after pain. Only starting to climb out of it in 2018 when I had found the first friend that treated me with an iota of respect. He's a complete jerk to me now but at least he was there for me during my darkest days.

Before I derail too far tho, my point is, gaming hit a hard dead end for me in 2012, a bit less than a year before the release of Pokemon Black 2 and White 2. I never got to play those games as a result. The gaming dream was dead.

Or so it seemed.

One game kept me on a lifeline until Christmas 2019. The only game I would play between January 2012 and then. You wouldn't have heard of it tho. Just this extremely obscure game known as Minecraft.

Yes that was a joke.

Minecraft had kept me gaming when I was sure my gaming days were over. Even while playing it, I felt like it was my last breath as a gamer before the flame went out forever.

And yet, something extraordinary happened. My love for the game never died.

And with each new addition to the game being released over the nearly 8 year period where that was the only thing I would play, I started to heal. I mean don't get me wrong there's still some mighty suppressed emotions from 2012 to 2016 that I still don't know how to let go of, but to some extent I was healing. The gamer in me. The bad but otherwise passionate gamer. Then a then-friend of mine recommended Portal to me, and I played through both games, falling in love with them. But there was still something I wasn't ready to return to. The Nintendo ecosystem.

Cue December 2019. My father and I were struggling to come up with gift ideas. And then eventually my father suggested... Maybe a Nintendo Switch?

I thought. Was I ready to re-immerse myself back into that universe. I could have just said no, and that would be it. I would be independent from them from then on. But I don't know what compelled me, perhaps I had healed enough, perhaps I thought I may miss out otherwise, but I said "...ok."

Christmas came, and I received a Switch as my big Christmas gift, along with Pokemon Shield. It was time to begin again.

But I wasn't ignorant anymore. Times weren't like when I was 5. This time I had the internet at my fingertips, and it took me a while, but I realised something was up. Nintendo just... Wasn't Nintendo anymore. Could be the shockingly poor online features, could be the anti consumer approach. Could have been the joycon drift or the dock scratches or really any of the hundreds of extremely dumb decisions they made because they valued profit over positive public image.

Regardless I stuck with them. I used my Switch and loved it. Played through Pokemon Shield and was impressed at how far the game had come since the original Black and White. I loved the game, despite its flaws, which I admitted they have.

But then a new game caught my eye. Another extremely popular game during its release. A game that was destined for greatness, and above all, was perfect for a casual like me. Yes, I am of course referring to Animal Crossing New Horizons. My most recent Nintendo obsession.

Of course you all know what happens next.

It's time for the centennial pandemic! Right on cue!

I was luckily able to avoid covid until it became mild enough for my country to stop seeing it as a huge threat. But remember there was a time when things were BAD. The world was extremely tense. No reliable word on how long approximately a vaccination would take to develop. So many people died. Things looked grim.

I think I speak for many of us when I say, New Horizons was a glimmer of hope in such a distressing time. At best, things would be ok. At worst, at least we would have that game to comfort us until society collapsed.

Luckily, things turned out ok. Sure we're suffering from a huge aftermath and shit isn't much less tense than it was back in 2020. But you know what? Things could have gotten SO much more out of hand. And New Horizons guided me through those depressing times. My life had become centred around collecting villagers and mucking about with my island. Perhaps it was for the best that I had said yes to the Switch the year before. I'm not sure what I would have done without that cute simple game to fixate on.

But now we've mostly got a grip on this pandemic, the question rose again: What on earth is Nintendo doing? And at no time was that more apparent than with the whole Switch Pro drama in 2021. Almost all of us were certain that we were getting one, and just about time too.

Then the funniest thing happened. Or rather didn't happen. Because we never got one. And I honestly think we never will. Not until the Switch 2 or whatever it will be called comes out.

Cue Valve.

That day the Steam Deck was announced, I was hyped. It was kinda a switch pro-ish... Right? Different games, and many would argue different audience. But nonetheless, Valve's immense generosity and good luck is what I think contributed to the Deck's smashing success. It had done the near impossible, it had won the hearts of many previous Nintendo fans over to converting to the Valve ecosystem.

I am one of those, and you know what? One of the best gaming decisions I ever made.

I loved my Switch. Loved being the key word. Honestly I could probably live without it now. The Switch may have reignited my passion for gaming. But the Steam Deck made it burn oh so much hotter and brighter. Rarely a day goes by I don't pick up my Deck and have a ball. It truly is a marvel in my gaming life, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Will Nintendo ever win me back? To be honest, I don't know. They're basically in the dictionary at this point behind the word "Disappointment". They would have to do a LOT to win me back because as is, I don't plan on getting a Switch 2 in 2027. Why would I? I'm delighted with my Steam Deck.

As is the case with most personal stories, the ending is open. Will I ever go back to the company that opened up a world of gaming for me? I don't know. If I do, then the story continues. If I don't, then it was a fun ride Nintendo took me on... But ultimately nothing lasts forever. And I'm just glad I was there for it.