#I got scared to tag anyone or do a specific ask

[featherymainffins]

Why you all got ok mothers leave some for the rest of us

[adieutristana]

Hi! Can you make arcane characters x reader who is afraid of touch?

of course! thank you for the request <3

characters included; jinx, vi, mel, sevika, caitlyn

summary; arcane women with a girlfriend who is afraid of touch.

tags/warnings; hurt/comfort, (vague) mentions of past trauma, fluff, mentions of poor mental health

men dni.

jinx;

✧.* jinx is pretty understanding when it comes to fear of being touched. she is as well, for the most part. when it comes to a relationship, i think jinx would be incredibly touchy, but if you tell her that you're afraid and/or uncomfortable she'll give you the space that you need. yes, jinx enjoys physical touch, but she doesn't want to overstep any boundaries.

✧.* jinx will probably resort to words to show her love instead, though she's not the best with them. saying sweet things like "i missed ya, trinket! i've got something to show ya, yeah?" or "oh gods, you just look so pretty, it's impossible!"

✧.* jinx is the textbook definition of clingy. look up the word in a dictionary, and her face will be underneath. so she won't physically hang off your arm if you're afraid of touch, but she'll still follow closely behind you like some kind of lost puppy. it's endearing, honestly. jinx just needs to be close to you somehow at all times.

✧.* the closeness reassures her. she's used to everyone she lets in, everyone she cares about dying. so to share that proximity with you and have the reassurance that you're here, alive, with her, it means a lot more than jinx thinks you'll ever understand.

✧.* like i said, jinx is the same way to an extent. touch-starved, but also won't let anyone close enough to touch her. so when she met you, let you in and began to trust you, part of jinx did expect that touch. you're in a relationship, after all. but once you explain to her, she understands wholeheartedly!

✧.* also constantly showing her love through gifts and grandiose gestures. makeshift firework shows that are a fire waiting to happen? yep! music boxes that play your favorite songs (although slightly out of tune)? also yes! tagging walls in the undercity with your initials together in hearts! you bet! jinx will go above and beyond, she doesn't want to scare you off by doing something she knows you're afraid of

✧.* on the off chance you do let her touch you she'll be making sure you're alright, but also very very happy for those little moments.

✧.* pressing soft kisses to your cheeks while whispering, "you okay, sweetness?"

✧.* jinx doesn't really question you on these things, she just lets it be. if you say you're afraid of touch, then so be it. not a problem for her.

✧.* "come with me!" she'd say, using her hand to wave you over. "what's this about, jinx?" you'd ask, quirking an eyebrow. jinx would be giggling all the way, shaking her head and nearly skipping towards her destination. "don't worry about it, toots! you'll love it, i promise!"

✧.* knowing jinx, she's probably dragging you to the last drop after hours so she can show you how she decorated it just for you (don't question how she managed to pull that off), or she's taking you to her hideout to show you some of the gifts she made you. she's just so excitable around you, she can't help it

vi;

✧.* vi is a little confused at first i think, but that's just because of her need for communication and specifics. like yes, you're afraid of touch, but what kind of touch?

✧.* she has a loooot of questions. she's not trying to pry at all, genuinely just trying to understand you and where you're coming from better. is it alright if she hugs you every now and then? can she hold your hand? what don't you want her to do? do you need her to ask to touch you, or not touch you at all?

✧.* literally just doing everything in her power to not scare you off. vi has a good thing going with you, something real. the last thing that she wants is to fuck it up because she couldn't keep her hands off of you

✧.* vi is sooo so good with her words, though. a master at sweet talking you to show her adoration.

✧.* "you look so beautiful right now, y'know that? i mean- you always do, but gods, right now..." or something along the lines of, "look at you, all focused and stuff. you always amaze me, cupcake."

✧.* one of her defaults is that it's a trauma response, mostly because she knows that's most of where her sister's fear of touch comes from. she'll try to approach the subject delicately, letting you know that if you need to talk about anything she's here and she only wants to help. it can come off as slightly patronizing without her meaning to, so it really all depends on how you take it.

✧.* if it is a response, then fine, vi wants to help and support you the best she can. if not, then she backs off still, settling for just doing you favors and vocalizing her love for you

✧.* she will not let you do a damn thing if you're in a domestic situation. vi is so loving and attentive. she will handle the cooking, cleaning, laundry, all that... you just rest!!

✧.* honest to gods, vi is just such a sweetheart. literally whatever makes you happiest and most comfortable is done without question by her.

✧.* on the off-chance that your girlfriend does scare you or accidentally crosses a line, she'll be profusely apologizing. asking if there's anything she can do to make it up to you, this is the absolute last thing she wants.. if you need space, you've got it. need words of reassurance? consider it done. literally anything.

✧.* generally, i'd think vi is touchy but not enough that this would be a problem. she's versatile, she can show her love in a lot of ways!

✧.* "mm.. i'll do your laundry for you tonight. give you some time off." "vi, that's not necessary-" "shh. it's done. see? i'm already on my way, getting your laundry..."

mel;

✧.* honestly a bit confused at first. mel has grown up around war, tragedy, and despair, but she hasn't met many people who are just downright afraid of being touched- even in the midst of chaos.

✧.* she probably immediately goes to thinking it's because of something that's happened, though, only because of the war and tragedy that she's seen. she hasn't seen fear of touch in particular, but mel has seen a lot of things affect a lot of people in different ways. if it is, then she wants to support you, of course. if not, she still will do her best to show her appreciation for you in other ways.

✧.* mel is easily one of the most devoted and gentle lovers ever, and she has so many tricks up her sleeve when it comes to affection. we've already established that she'd be spoiling you constantly, but she'd also be using her words so well. i also think mel might be the type to write you poetry, honestly. is she the best writer? probably not. but damn, she pours her heart into it.

✧.* "hey, darling. i wrote something else for you, see?" she'd say while holding up another slip of paper, just to add to the collection of your endless others. "written just for my dearest girl."

✧.* mel is just so attentive. she'll probably be a bit protective, especially in public. even if it's just a stranger innocently tapping you on the shoulder to ask for directions to the station, she doesn't want you to get scared.

✧.* "aht- i'll handle that. directions, yeah? you'll go straight here, then take a left, and another left right past the council building." all before someone can touch you.

✧.* if you do allow any kind of touch later on, mel will tread lightly. it's not that she thinks you can't handle yourself or you're fragile, but she just wouldn't be able to live with herself if she scared you off somehow or hurt you.

✧.* light caresses to your cheeks, gentle hugs, guiding you by the small of your back, her head on your shoulder or lap. always so careful, but so sweet and loving

✧.* of course mel will have a lot of questions initially, but it's only because of her need for connection and understanding. she doesn't mean to push or prod, she just wants to understand her lover better and know exactly what is and isn't okay. what will make you most comfortable being with her, that's all that she wants

✧.* hands-down the best at comforting you if you do happen to get scared by touch, though it's usually not at her own hands.

✧.* "hey. hey, tell me what happened. i'm right here, you're alright." she'd say, her voice low and soothing. "nothing's gonna hurt you, nothing's gonna touch you. at least not while i'm here. just let me make things better."

sevika;

✧.* i don't think you'd really need to have a conversation with sevika about it. she's intuitive. the first time you flinched from her touch, trying to wrap an arm around your waist, she knew something was up and she backed off. she wouldn't ask, wouldn't push for more information than you're comfortable giving her. something in her tells her that it's a sensitive topic, and asking might make things worse.

✧.* if you want to talk to her about it, the floor is open. you know that she'll listen, she always does. but until then, she won't pry.

✧.* if you do decide to have that conversation with sevika, she'll take in and cling onto every last word. we've established time and time again how loyal and devoted she is, how she'll do anything just to make sure you're content. she'd listen attentively, taking note of every little thing that you say scares you, of every shift in tone of your voice.

✧.* "i... thank you for telling me this." she'd whisper, her eyes locked with yours. "you know you don't have to hide a thing from me, yeah? but i won't ask for more than you wanna tell me, either. just don't hold out on me, dove."

✧.* besides, sevika has a lot of other ways she can show her love to you. that connection can be achieved through other means! late night talks, bringing you to play games of blackjack and poker with her, etc.

✧.* that's actually one of her favorite ways to have fun with you: gambling! as odd as it may sound, it's one of her favorite pastimes, and getting you involved in her world is a big deal for sevika. someone who famously doesn't let anyone in. so for her to play games alongside you when she's typically merciless, giving you tips for your own hand, it's a big deal.

✧.* if you do allow sevika to touch you, it'll be fleeting and soft. almost as if she's afraid. it's only because she wants to ensure your comfort and sanctuary, really.

✧.* light kisses to your jawline as she whispers things like, "look at you, so beautiful," or "my sweet girl, you look tired. let's turn in, hm? i can hold you. or not. your call, dove..."

✧.* like she doesn't need to be told twice that you're afraid. sevika is very good with respect, very good with communication and laying off. she loves you, she doesn't want to make you afraid or uncomfortable at all if she can help it.

✧.* super protective in public, though. if anyone tries to touch you at all, even if just to push past you in a crowded place, she's immediately pushing them away from you and telling them off.

✧.* "hey. you lay off her, ya hear? thought we learned as kids to keep our hands to ourselves."

caitlyn;

✧.* i think caitlyn would also catch on pretty quickly. she'd ask just to be sure, but she's a smart woman. she can take hints, put pieces together, figure things out. the first time you inched away from her touch was coincidence, the second time was anything but.

✧.* naturally, cait brought it up with you when she got a moment that was just you and her. she tries to approach the subject with caution and care, as she doesn't want to scare you off or seem like she's aiming to force information out of you. but she loves you, and she worries.

✧.* "you can tell me things, love. i promise, i won't get angry. whatever it is, you can tell me."

✧.* she's understanding once you do tell her! she's been raised knowing devastation and war, though her upbringing is privileged. she still knows about trauma, about fear, about phobias, all that kind of thing. even if it's just a thing of general anxiety and you not wanting to let people in that way. she won't take it personally, she knows that this is just something innate within some people

✧.* caitlyn will likely resort to her words and acts of service instead. she's constantly doing things for you, trying to make your life easier in any way that she can. if there's some housework you need done, consider it taken care of. if you're feeling hungry, she's cooking your favorite without a second thought.

✧.* she might accidentally touch you without thinking- like a brush against your back or a grasp of your hand, but she immediately pulls back and apologizes the second she realizes what she's doing. she gets the hang of it rather quickly, but she's used to showing physical affection to her family and friends.

✧.* she still loves sharing a bed with you at night, but cait makes it abundantly clear that she doesn't expect you to cuddle up to her, and she won't hold you unless you ask her to. she's perfectly happy having you next to her, just your presence soothes her to sleep.

✧.* "shh... just sleep, dear. i'll be right here. you always look so peaceful when you're at rest, it's beautiful."

✧.* cait is honestly just so sweet and understanding, she'll do anything and everything in her power to make sure that you're at ease!

[thequeenofthedisneyverse]

How to NOT write like Vivziepop guide!

Writing tips:

1. Don't treat SA/Rape as a joke. Seriously, it shouldn't be that hard. EX: In Helluva Boss; Spring Broken, Moxxie goes to talk to Verosika and her crew in hopes to get them to move her car. He gets SA'd as a result and we're supposed to see that as a joke.

I don't specifically remember the episode name, but Sir pentious asks Cherri if she wants to have sex with him but he then gets scared/nervous and says "BECAUSE I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH EVERYONE!!" or something like that. He then gets taken by a bunch of people into a room and he CLEARLY looks uncomfortable. Again, I suppose we're supposed to see that as a joke for some reason.

SA/Rape isn't funny, and you can offend tons of people writing it so carelessly. DON'T DO THAT!

2. If your characters come from a certain era, RESEARCH THAT ERA. Ex: Alastor was supposed to be a famous radio host in the 1920s (seeing as he died in 1933) when he was alive despite being a mixed (Black and white) man. Jim Crow laws existed in those times so Alastor couldn't have become a popular radio host unless he was white passing, which we don't know. Also, from what I got from @bump-inthe-night the first black radio personality in Louisiana was Vernon Winslow, known as Dr. Daddy-O, in 1949.

Also, from @bump-inthe-night - (her words were pasted here because I couldn't have said it better myself) Despite dying in 1947, Angel overdosed on PCP. This drug was discovered in 1926, and it started being utilized as a general anesthetic in the 1950s. PCP became a street drug in the 1960s and gained popularity in the 1970s. It's impossible for Angel to have overdosed on this drug when he was alive. RESEARCH. BEFORE. YOU. WRITE. THE. CHARACTER.

This is also from @/bump-inthe-night. Sir Pentious died in 1888, but he’s wearing a shoulder-padded suit. Shoulder pads, invented in 1877, were used in football uniforms. They didn’t cross over into fashion and become popular until the 1930s. Sir Pentious shouldn’t be wearing a shoulder-padded suit, and neither should Vox, who died in the 1950s, when this started falling out of style.

3. Don't victimize characters that obviously shouldn't be victimized. Example: Stolas.

I will tag the people who inspired this post and paste their stuff here because they say these things better than me.

@flower-boi16 says "So fucking what if Stolas was neglected as a child or had a mean wife? How does that relate to ANY of his actions he takes throughout the series??? It doesn’t excuse SHIT. Granted, the “this character’s trauma is not an excuse” argument is a kind of argument I’ve grown to be annoyed by due to how often it gets misused. Yes, a character’s backstory or trauma doesn’t excuse or justify their actions.

The issue arises though when the character’s bad actions are a direct response to that trauma and so it can make it look like your just ignoring major context for what lead to the character doing these actions just so you can label them as irredeemable. With Stolas, however, I have no hesitation in saying that whatever backstory and trauma he may have I genuinely don’t care because that trauma doesn’t matter to ANY of his actions.

The “his daughter doesn’t like him” defense doesn’t work because 1. Octavia is shown to still care for her father and is actually shown to be excited to spend time with him in Seeing Stars and 2. Octavia has a perfectly valid reason to dislike Stolas given how shitty of a father he is to her.

The “Stolas is well meaning/believes that Blitzo likes being treated like a sex toy” defense also doesn’t work when Stolas can very clearly see that Blitzo does NOT like being treated that way. Ffs Blitz was completely shocked and disgusted by Stolas’ sexual remarks on him on the phone in Loo Loo Land, Stolas can clearly see Blitz DOESN'T ENJOY THIS but continues flirting with him anyway. Anyone who is well-meaning can still see when they fucked up."

@floralcavern "Stolas is the epitome of writers thinking they wrote a deep character when they actually created the most shallowly written character of all time. Stolas receives no consequences, no call outs, no growth, because he gets the excuse of ‘he’s abused’ to not have to face anything bad happen to him. It’s infuriating how shielded he is by the writers."

4. Understand what your writing! This is also from @/floralcavern and I couldn't agree more. "And Helluva Boss didn’t need extremely deep characters. It started off as a comedy, where characters could do messed up, edgy shit because nothing is meant to be taken seriously. But then suddenly the show decides to become a super serious, soap opera drama?? It completely derails its original premise to be something completely different. The beginning of Helluva Boss and what we currently have are 2 completely different shows. And I’m not saying comedies can’t have depth. One of my favorite examples is Dan Da Dan! It’s literally a show about a guy whose dick was stolen by a ghost. And yet, the show writers know how to balance ridiculous comedy and storytelling with genuine, human moments. But Viv’s shows don’t have that balance. The show is hardly a comedy anymore and takes itself way too seriously, while also refusing to acknowledge actual things that need to be acknowledged."

5. This should be obvious but don't make male characters (or any characters for that matter) that are supposed to be gay call their sisters "hot" or "Sexy". Example: Andrelphus or whatever his name is. It comes off as extremely gross and really unnecessary. Vivziepop said he does that to make others think he's straight?????...Andrelphus was literally in the pride parade art. WTF VIV?!

So yeah, don't do that unless it's relevant to the plot. Like the characters have a secret incestual relationship or the incest is being pushed/forced onto the other sibling character or SOMETHING! And no, before you say it, Stella never looked comfortable being called attractive by her own brother.

5. Don't fetishize rape or have/hire people that work under you that do. It's as simple as that.

6. When writing serious topics such as SA, TREAT THE TOPIC SERIOUSLY!

7. Be mindful of stereotypes. I've learned (with the help of others pointing it out) that Angel Dust is a stereotype of gay men.

8. Call out your characters for their actions. Angel is shown to sexually harass other male characters with no call outs or apologies. Same can be said for Stolas.

I'm not sure of what else to add. If anyone else wants to add something, feel free to comment or reblog. Your words will help others a lot!

[roonotrue]

Day 1 - Ice Skating with Vil!

Twisted Wonderland Writings Masterpost

Prologue, Day 2

Prompt: In the end Epel is the one who manages to convince a housewarden to help, specifically getting Vil to help distract the MC while he and the other freshies enact their plan, which is now being referred to as Operation 'Christmas Miracle!'

Reader: GN reader - They/Them pronouns and the reader is called 'MC/Prefect.' The reader also knows how to ice skate but hasn't in a while. (I am too scared to ever try ice skating, but for those of you who do Merry Christmas.)

Included Characters: Vil Schoenheit

Warnings: Mild Swearing.

Tags: @twistedcece

~~~

It's been weeks since you spoke with your fellow freshmen about the winter holidays in your world, and the cold has really come rushing in full force at NRC.

Snow blankets the ground, and students wear thick layers to class to keep warm.

You didn't really have any thick layers to bundle up in, but luckily Professor Crewel noticed this when you and Grim came into class a Prefect and Cat-shaped popsicle, ten minutes late. He then personally saw to yell at Crowley in his office for twenty whole minutes about letting you freeze to death.

So now you have a winter coat.

Big enough for Grim to hide in with you when heading to class. Maybe you can wrangle some gloves out of him to if you play your cards right.

But that's none of this is the point. The point is, it's cold enough to go ice skating on the pond outside the Alchemy Workshop.

Which Vil invited you to go do.

Vil.

Vil Schoenheit.

Invited you.

To go... Ice skating.

The famous model and actor, and the Housewarden of Pomefiore (though much less relevant than the FAMOUS MODEL AND ACTOR part) invited YOU... To go ice skating with him.

Okay, look, it's not that you find it hard to believe (you do actually find it very hard to believe), it's just that... Vil is... Vil.

And you're you. In his eyes, a potato. Not that you mind. Most people are potatoes compared to Vil Scheonheit, but also, potatoes aren't that bad of a comparison.

One of the most diverse ingredients and stand-alone foods in this world and yours. Easily able to fit into any dish or meal as a main ingredient or a side.

You'd say since coming to NRC, you fit that description kind of well.

The point is, you and Vil are friends, but like, you've never gone and done something alone with him like this. You'd asked if other Pomefiore students might be there (namely Rook or Epel), but he'd said it'd just be you two.

Alone. Without one of the idiots (read: friends) in your life (take your pick, there are many), contributing to, or leading the conversation.

You're totally not overthinking this or anything.

You try way too hard to wear something nicer than usual- but as mentioned before, you don't have a ton of warm clothes. And they'll be covered by your coat anyway so why the hell does it matter?

Because it's Vil. That's why it matters. You want to look nice.

"You know, I still think the first shirt was the nicest." Grim mutters between bites of tuna.

Which you don't appreciate considering you gave him that can so he'd shut up for a minute.

"It had a hole in it, Grim. Do you really think Vil wouldn't notice that?" You scoff, searching your closet for another nicer button-up.

The only good one you have is for your school uniform, but it needs to be washed, and you don't have time for that- Vil is literally on his way to pick you up.

"No, cuz it'll be hidden under the coat! Now hurry up, he just texted you he's here."

"What!?" You rush to your phone, quickly throwing on the shirt, rushing to button it up as you see the text.

"Okay, okay, okay- Uh, I left another can of tuna on the counter for you if you get hungry while I'm gone, and if anyone swings by needing me for something- I'm dead, got it?" You tell Grim, putting on your coat.

"Sure thing, henchhuman! Stay out as late as you need, the Great Grim has got things handled!" He says with a large smile, way too excited for you to leave.

Normally he complains anytime you go somewhere without him and get's all grumpy or will end up sneaking along after you. 

But today, he's been all too happy to help you get ready and push you out the door.

It's suspicious. He's been acting suspiciously for the last two weeks.

So have the others. Avoiding you, getting anxious and awkward when you're around. Lying.

You're not an idiot. They're up to something. You can't quite figure out what exactly but you can reckon it's probably something that you're going to have to fix later.

But right now, you've got more pressing issues.

Like stopping at the hall mirror to make sure your hair isn't messed up, and your skin's not greasy or anything.

When you open the door Vil is, as always, the vision of perfection. Dressed snuggly in a deep blue winter coat, black leather gloves, and a white fur scarf, his hair tied back in a bun, only the front half left loose to frame his face as it usually does.

His violet eyes glimmer when he sees you, swiftly putting his phone back in his pocket.

"There you are, are you ready to go?" He smiles.

"Yep!" You chuckle as you rub your hands together at the cold breeze that comes rushing in from outside.

It snowed particularly hard last night, so classes had been canceled today. But right now, the sky is clear, and the fresh snow sparkles under the late morning light.

The motion, however, catches Vil's eye, whose smile drops as he looks you up and down and raises a brow.

"It's quite cold out, MC, are you sure you don't want to put on gloves? And a scarf you be a good idea too. And maybe a different coat, that one simply is not your color, who did you let pick it out, Crowley? It hardly looks warm enough for the weather." He asks, poking at the sleeve of the item.

Actually, yes, he did pick it out. The cheapest one he could find.

"It's the only coat I have, and I don't have any gloves or anything. It's fine though, I've gotten pretty used to the cold by now." You laugh it off, and Vil's eyes narrow.

"Hm. Very well, let's just get going, I'm sure we can swing by Sam's shop and pick you up something." He nods, resolute.

"Oh, I don't really have any money for it. Not if I want to eat something other than the cheap microwave meals Crowley leaves for me over break." You wave your hands, stepping outside and closing the door before you let any more heat out.

It was hard enough getting the furnace working, you're not wasting a single second of the warmth it provides before it breaks again.

"Microwave meals!? Is that birdbrained idiot trying to kill you!? Do you know how many preservatives and chemicals are in those!?" Vil looks horrified and you can't help but chuckle, scratching at the back of your head nervously.

"Well, food is food, as Ruggie would say. We can worry more about it later if you'd like, but I'd really like to have some sort of fun on my snow day, don't you?" You ask, trying to change the subject.

The housewarden cringes at the idea of dropping the subject, but lets out a defeated sigh.

"Fine. We will be talking about this later though. Or at least I'll be talking with Crowley next housewarden's meeting." He mumbles the last bit as he grabs your arm, looping it through his.

Oh. Oh.

He leads the way down Ramshackle steps towards the gate. And you try not to think about you two looking awfully a lot like a couple.

Ice skating is a common winter date where you're from... And then you have a thought.

A stomach-dropping thought.

Is this a date?

You nearly stumble to a stop at the thought.

You didn't think to ask. Why would you!? It was such a random out-of-the-blue offer! You didn't think 'Would you like to go ice skating with me today?' translated to anything nonplatonic!

It's probably not a date. Probably.

So you quickly decide to distract yourself from the warmth radiating from where your and Vil's arms are locked.

"So, you wouldn't happen to know what's up with Epel lately? He and the others have been avoiding me. I think they're planning something, but I don't know what." You mention, and Vil glances at you with a small smirk.

"It just so happens I do. And trust me, it's nothing to worry about. Let's just focus on us today, yes?"

Oh, this might be a fucking date.

Fuuuuuuuck.

You would have tried so much harder to look nicer if you'd realized this sooner!

"O-okay. Well, how have you been with all the cold weather? Are you excited for the break?" You ask, suddenly feeling very nervous.

"I don't mind the cold, it dries out the skin, but simply adding an extra hydration step to my skincare routine in the morning and night is a simple fix for it." He informs and you smile.

"I've tried that face scrub stuff you got for me, and it works really well. Smells nice too. I'm almost out of it, so I'll have to save up for some more." You mention, the gift- or well, 'charity' as he called it at the time a few months ago, of skincare products.

It was nice of him, and you're pretty sure it was a 'thank you' for helping him during his overblot. Which is more than you got from Leona.

You've been able to set up a routine for yourself with it, probably nothing as complicated as his routine, but you're proud to say you have seen some improvements.

"Oh? I'm glad, I wasn't sure you'd use any of them, Epel certainly doesn't." He scoffs, and you chuckle.

"Yet somehow has incredible skin." You remark as you walk out the gate and towards the Alchemy Workshop

"I know, as to how he got so lucky when all he does is wash it with water and a cloth in the morning- sometimes- I will never understand." Vil sighs, bringing a hand to his head in disappointment.

"Well, at least he's got you to look out for him. Wish I were so lucky to have gotten the fair Vil Schoenheit as a guide throughout my time here at NRC. All I got was Crowley." You sigh, unintentionally leaning into him as a cold breeze passes through.

"Hm, well, if you'd like I can certainly dedicate some of my time to help you with self-care and style? And trust me, it's no burden on me. After all, if we're going to be seen together more, it ought to be my job to make sure you look good enough to impress. I want the world to see you as beautiful on the outside as I know you are on the inside." He meets your wide-eyed gaze with a soft smile.

There's a fondness in his eyes that you don't think you've ever seen before.

A fondness meant just for you.

"Oh my, are you sure you're not cold? Your face is all red." He asks, though there's a knowing look in his eyes and a smirk on his lips.

Oh, he's teasing you.

"I'm fine! I just didn't expect that! I don't get compliments often, you know?" You turn away, focusing on the path ahead of you.

"Oh, I doubt that sweet potato, with how selfless and determined you are? There are a lot of people here at NRC who should be singing your praises for everything you do for them." He brings his other free hand to rest on top of your arm, still locked with his.

"Well, all I really hear is people telling me that I shouldn't be so kind, or that I'm naive, too trusting, too generous, and foolish for never requesting anything in return... Sometimes it's like none of the students here even know what kindness is, the way they react to it." You can see the Alchemy Workshop ahead of you.

"Hm, I see. Well, I might agree in some aspects that you're too trusting and generous at times, but for the most part, it's... Not a bad thing. You've helped people, MC, even at your own detriment, and though the idea of you continuing to do so worries me, I know you will. Because you have a good heart. You care about people, even when they don't deserve your care. It's admirable." He sighs wistfully, staring off ahead, the condensation of his breath floating in the icy air around his face.

You pause when you reach the Alchemy Workshop, looking at him as he turns to you questioningly.

"... Thanks, Vil. You have a good heart too. Even if you don't show it very often. You look after your dormmates and underclassmen, you make sure they're taking care of themselves, eating healthy, and doing well in school. You encourage their passions a lot, even Epel's love for Spelldrive, despite not liking the sport yourself. You have your own way of caring about people, it's a more 'tough love' style than mine, but it's still just as admirable." You know he's thinking back to his own overblot and behavior leading up to it.

To be honest, it was bad, but people are more than just their worst moments.

And perhaps that is you being too forgiving, but empathy is something that NRC has been lacking for a long time. So perhaps it's just your cross to bear.

Vil meets your eyes for a long moment, thoughts swirling around those long lashes and pretty lavender irises.

"The way you're able to see people, sweet potato... It's a remarkable ability, you know that right?" He finally smiles, and it remains the most beautiful sight you've ever known.

"A blessing and a curse at times. Now come on, I wanna ice skate!" You laugh and pull at the connection of your arms to usher him forward.

"So you do know how? I never thought to ask, but I figured if you didn't I could teach you." Vil inquires as you walk around the building to see the frozen pond.

It looks beautiful, sparkling in the daylight. There are a few students on the other side skating, but they're far enough that you and Vil can still skate with plenty of room. It's a big pond after all.

"Kind of, I haven't in a while, so I might be a bit rusty- and certainly not as elegant as I'm sure you are." Of all the talents for Vil Schoenheit to have, ice skating may be the least surprising.

It's a beautiful hobby. Elegant, graceful, refined, and mature. All words that can describe ice skating and Vil.

"I only started learning a few years ago, and only really in the wintertime when I'm home alone on break. I picked it up to pass the time." He explains, walking you over to the pond edge where two bags sit- a note attached.

"You're alone during winter break?" You ask, slightly hesitant, not wanting it to be a sensitive topic, but he probably wouldn't have mentioned it if it was, right?

"Yes, my father's work schedule is usually packed, so he's not home often. I have the house to myself for the most part, save for the housekeepers." He picks up the note (you see that it's signed 'from Rook') and opens the bag nearest so you both can see the white ice skates inside.

"Oh, well, you can always call or text me during break if you get bored. I'd enjoy hearing from you." You grab the other bag as he hands it to you (ignoring how your hands brush), and he chuckles.

"I just might, sweet potato. Here, I sent Rook to buy these for you, so don't worry about returning them to me." He tells you.

You brush snow off a nearby tree stump and sit down to put them on. They fit perfectly, and you don't even want to begin to guess how Rook got your shoe size.

"You sure? I can pay you back-"

"Don't worry about it. Consider them one of your gifts. Now, let's go, we don't have all day." 

Wait, one of your what-

You stumble a bit and Vil's arm darts out to steady you.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, fine, just haven't worn a pair of these in a while!" You laugh it off, and you both make your way to the ice.

Vil is as elegant as you thought he'd be, gliding across the ice smoothly. You have a rocky start, nearly slipping straight onto your butt the moment you touch the ice, but you find your balance quickly.

The memories of your last time skating flow back to the forefront of your mind, and you manage to not look like a complete fool gliding across the ice with Vil.

"Gosh, it feels like so long ago since I last did this!" You laugh, doing slow wide circles around the ice with Vil.

"Hm, it is a rather elegant winter activity, we could make it a tradition if you'd like? Coming to ice skate before winter break. It would keep either of us from getting too rusty and I can give you some of the hydrating face masks I use in the morning and night to keep your face from getting dry- and lip balm, chapped lips will not be accepted while we're together." He asks you, and you turn to him, skating in front of him backward.

It's a bold offer. Everything about Vil had been bold today. Does he truly like you? Like, like-like you?

You certainly like-like him.

By the seven you sound like a middle schooler with their first ever crush. Hell, you've certainly felt like one for... Awhile now.

Every time you're near him, acting like a blushing idiot, twirling your hair and giggling. You're not actually doing either of those things, but you sure feel like it!

Ever since his overblot, he's been a consistent voice of reason in your life, helping you curb the chaotic tendencies of those around you every time he's around.

And somewhere along the line, you've developed that terrible fluttering in your stomach that people call a crush every time he speaks to you. Or offers to help with something. Or looks at you. Or calls you 'sweet potato' which really only started just before Halloween.

God, he really has been dropping big hints, huh? So you should make a bold move too, right?

By the seven, please don't let this backfire.

"I'd love to, but only if you let me take you out to dinner afterward." You smile, the slightest of nervous flushes on your face, and his eyes widen, startled, but so does his smirk.

"How bold. And here I was worried that even after today you wouldn't get the hint. It's a date, sweet potato." He skates closer to you.

"I'm not that dense you know, just... In a state of shock that you'd want to go out with me. You do know you could have anyone right? You're a famous model, actor, and the housewarden of Pomefiore. From what I've seen so far, there isn't a girl or guy alive that wouldn't throw themselves at your feet." You acknowledge and he just laughs.

"Ah, yes, all the guys and girls that would love to be with me just for my looks, fame, and money. No, thank you. I'll stick with one of the only people in the world who sees me. Who appreciates my help, even when others think I'm being a bitch. Who values my advice, and actually listens to it. Who makes me feel like I... for a single second... Don't need to try so hard to be perfect." You stop skating at his words.

So does he.

"Vil... You never have to be perfect with me. I'm not perfect. Neither is anyone I know- I mean, look at my best friends! They're morons! But I still love them! Because they make me laugh. They care about my wellbeing- in their own ways, and they're there for me when I really need them." You list fondly, skating just a bit closer to grab Vil's gloved hand.

"That's all I really need from anyone, and maybe to some people, that's a low bar, but hey, I'm happy. So it must not be that bad of a thing, you know? So if you're up to doing just those three things, then I'll gladly date you, and do the same in return." When you look up at him, he's watching you closely.

Or well, maybe not you.

Your lips.

"I think I'm quite capable of doing all of that. And more, if you'd allow me?" He glances to meet your gaze his hand coming up to cradle your cheek.

You smile and nod.

And he kisses you. Slow, soft, and gentle. Warmth fills you, making the cold that your cheap coat couldn't keep out, melt away.

You lean into the kiss, and you have to stop yourself from chasing after it when he pulls away.

"Lots of those. That's also part of the deal- I require lots of those." You sigh wistfully and he laughs.

Bright, and melodic, and real.

You move to skate an inch back just to see it better and-

"Ack-!"

Your skate catches on something, stalling and sending you falling back.

Your arms frantically reach to grab something and stabilize yourself. At the same time, Vil quickly reaches forward to grab you, which he does, but then his skate trips over the same thing that must have tripped you.

You land in snow.

Ah. You two were at the edge of the pond.

You tripped on solid ground.

And dragged Vil down with you.

Not a great start to the relationship.

It takes a moment of blinking to fully process what just happened but when you do, you find Vil on top of you, a single hair fallen out of his bun.

Without thinking you reach out and tuck it behind his ear so it's less noticeable to someone who isn't this close to him.

His eyes meet yours and you flush, suddenly bashful and worried all at once.

"I'm so sorry! Are you okay!?" You ask, feeling the snow below you, freezing cold seeping through your coat and clothes.

You use your hands to prop yourself up, ignoring the cold and how it starts to sting.

"I'm alright, are you?" He asks and you nod, looking around, your happy you two are now the only ones at the pond.

Vil may have agreed to date you, but he might quickly retract it if anyone saw that.

You sigh in relief, and then... You can't stop yourself from laughing.

"Care to enlighten me on what's so funny about this? Ugh, I've probably messed up my hair- and my clothes-" He pushes himself up, standing swiftly, brushing the snow off of his coat.

"Because we weren't paying attention at all!" You snort out, still laughing at the whole clumsy situation.

"Exactly! You could have gotten hurt, you are aware of that, correct?" He scolds, leaning down to offer you a hand up, which you gladly take while still giggling.

"Yeah, but we didn't, and this will be a hilarious first date story someday." You struggle to balance only for a second when he pulls you to your feet (he's stronger than you thought, duly noted) but he holds your arms to keep you steady.

"We are not telling anyone that I fell." He says firmly, but you smile up at him and can immediately see that fondness softening his sharp glare.

"Of course not. The beautiful and fair, Vil Schoenheit was my hero, helping me up, checking for injuries, kissing them better-" He scoffs as you giggle out the lie.

"We're not telling anyone that either, sweet potato. Let's just stick with you fell, and I helped you up, yes?" He smirks, and you sigh with a smile still glued to your face.

"As you wish, my fairest." You loop your arms and begin skating out towards the middle of the ice once more.

"How about you show me some of those fancier moves you were doing earlier? The figure skating stuff. I'm no master like you, but I think I can learn a few things." You suggest.

"I wouldn't call myself a master, but I can show you a few things I've learned, so watch closely, sweet potato."

"Oh, trust me, I will."

You two spend the next hour skating, Vil teaching you some more advanced moves, which leads to you falling once or twice more, but you get a few down before evening rolls around with no serious injury.

"I think we should probably head back now, my hands are going to go numb." You sigh, a little disappointed to call it quits, but your hands hurt from how cold they are, and you legs are getting tired too.

"That's probably for the best, to much time out in the cold is terrible for the skin." He sighs, already skating towards you.

"I though you had hydrating face masks for that?" You joke and he rolls his eyes.

"There's only so much a face mask can protect you from and prevent. Are you hungry? We can grab something to eat before we go back, my treat this time, since I was the one who invited you out after all." He suggests and you would like to protest that you should at least pay for your share but- you really don't have the money.

And you're actually starving. You both kind of skipped any kind of lunch, being too distracted with skating and confessions and all that.

Note to self, pack lunches next year.

"Sure, Mostro Lounge would be the best option-" You go to recommend, but Vil quickly interrupts.

"I was thinking of somewhere else. You've been to Mostro Lounge dozens of times, but I'd love to bring you to a restaurant in town that I think you'd like." He asks pulling out his phone and typing something very quickly.

"Oh? Okay. So long as Azul doesn't find out I'm cheating on him with another restaurant, we should be fine." You chuckle and your words draw one from Vil to.

"It's a small place, quaint, quiet, and... Homey. I think you'll enjoy it." Good, so nothing that's 5-star fine dining.

You're really not dressed for that kind of restaurant.

"Alright, but I should stop by and tell Grim I'll be out a little longer, or he might get worried."

"Oh, I think he'll be fine. You can text someone else to check on him if you're really worried, or I can have Rook do it?" He pulls you a bit closer to him as you shiver a bit from a cold wind.

Oh, yeah, Grim will definitely be fine.

"Alright. Lead the way, my fairest." You sigh with a dopey smile, and he glances down at you with a smirk.

"Is that your pet name for me now?" He asks with a raised brow and you nudge him.

"Like you can judge, you literally call me a potato!" You laugh.

"A sweet potato." He correct.

"Still a potato. But it's fine. I quite like it. Would you like me to call you something else?" You ask, tilting your head in his direction and he hums in thought.

"No, I think that will work. As well as darling, love, sweetheart, beauty, my queen- those all work too." He smiles proudly, and you giggle.

"Of course, my queen." You give a small, mock bow, and it's his turn to nudge you.

Today has been... Wonderful.

And even if you're alone during winter break, at least you know Vil is only a text or phone call away.

It'll be a good Christmas this year. You just know it.

~~~

Vote for the next character below!

[eternal-kosmo-ghoul]

“even i’m not into that shit”

❤︎ synopsis — the sleep token members being fucking morons and fucking around

pairing: sleep token members x gn!reader (can be platonic or romantic)

theme: crack ✦

a/n: I’M BACK !!!! hopefully i don’t disappear for like a good fifty years after this. this is my third set of stupid ass headcanons. i pulled my shitty humor out of my ass for this one, enjoy !!! (the original ask got swallowed by my dumbass because i accidentally posted the unfinished fic 💀 this is dedicated to my bestie @dead-end-fanfiction)

cw: i think the title speaks for itself

▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆

➵ vessel

i just know this man is the most unhygienic motherfucker to ever exist

more specifically with his teeth. he cannot brush his teeth to save his life

like ??? this all powerful, dark deity, has the most stinky ass breath that if anyone dares to even breath it in, they’d disintegrate on the spot

like what the fuck vessel, you’re better than this

i love vessel but he just does weird shit sometimes

he sleeps butt ass naked

and one time you accidentally walked in on him while he was literally stripping to get ready for bed

he stood there like an npc while you were freaking out

“…. what’s wrong—“ “what’s wrong is that YOU’RE BUTT ASS NAKED IN FRONT OF ME—“

vessel is easily fascinated by human things. i mean - he was once human, so he likes to keep in touch every now and then.

however, out of all of the human things he had to have an obsession with.

… it was rubber ducks

this isn’t even explainable— how do you explain this all-powerful sleep entity to be obsessed with rubber ducks

he literally has a whole room dedicated to his collection of anything rubber duck related. give him a gift that has something to do with ducks and he’s making out with you on the spot

that’s not a joke, he did that with you before

➵ ii

this motherfucker is on his last limb and he’s being held together by paper clips

ii’s not even the leader but he cannot catch a break to save his life

he’s the only one that knows how to cook

one time he left ivy and the vesselettes in the kitchen by themselves. came back to house fires and high pitched screaming that definitely was not from the ladies

ii makes bomb ass banana cream pie though

ik for a fact this man does NOT keep his room clean

you once walked into his room to ask him a favor and there were like - a million drumsticks everywhere on the floor while he sat in the center of it

how does one possess that many drumsticks???

“dude what the f— clean your room!” “it gives me inner peace, y/n. go away.”

ii’s scared of the jollibee mascot

he once went out with his buddies to get some of that fast food. that giant red and yellow fuckass bee then came out of nowhere and spooked the shit out of ii

he then socked the guy in the face so hard the dude wearing the costume had a bloody nose

ii quickly fled the scene to not get arrested

after that he’s had a fear of fast food mascots in general, it’s kinda funny.

don’t bring ii near the jack in the box mascot though, he’s got some trauma from what he’s seen on twitter

➵ iii

zesty ahh mf

plays his bass like he’s fingering someone’s asshole like 🤨 whatcha doin’ iii ??

the type of man to set like fifty million alarms but never wakes up to any of them

however he wakes up everyone else in the process

it gets annoying hearing the “by the seaside” ringtone every morning at 6am. so one day you came into his room and poured ice cold water on him to wake him up

iii didn’t wake up from that btw, you thought it was dead

“…. bro wtf wake up—“

thankfully he wasn’t

biggest kpop stan

he’s a boy group stan and his favorite group is ateez

constantly blasting guerilla too

also i feel like iii owns a tumblr blog too

he’d be out here posting some shih like “pov you’re locked in a room w him for twenty four hours and you have to tickle his balls wyd” 💀

he probably posts also moodboards or some shi and tags them like an actual tumblr blogger

#it took my ahh fifty hours to make this plz repost it

stalks his fans on twitter

gets scared by said fans on twitter

“wdym they wanna get me pregnant”

breaks his bass every four hours during practice and vessel chews his ahh out every time

but it’s funny because you’re always there to help him

➵ ivy

he likes to act like he’s tough shit but ivy is a huge nerd

literally the definition of “magical in bed” except the magic is him explaining the gaming system of magic the gathering

hot asf but has no bitches frfr

also the definition of loser trapped in a hottie’s body

i’d like to believe that ivy has a crunchy ipad kid cough

and i mean CRUNCHY. bro will start choking on his saliva and start coughing like a dying seal

it’s quite hilarious, but also concerning at the same time

the first time you heard him cough like that, you were like 😟

“AEUGH- HEUGH— BEUHSHAK-“ “ivy—“

that pretty sums up the entire interaction

this bitch looks like he ate glue as a kid

more specifically glitter glue. the pink kind.

idk that sounds like ivy

he gets literal death coffee in the morning too btw

no ice. no sugar. straight shots of espresso.

eight shots, btw.

the coffee looks blacker than the black hole.

iii tried some of his coffee one time and spat it all in your face. ivy watched with his hell coffee in hand as you beat the shit out of iii

yeah, safe to say ivy was banned from having that kind of coffee for a while

so yeah. that pretty much sums up the kind of person ivy is

[littlespacereader]

Hi!!!!!!

Could you do an autistic Little gn y/n with Remus and Sirius Cgs! 🥺 and like a hurt/comfort/ overstimulation kinda story plot, or maybe bullying situation 😅🥰

@shadowlord23 AHHHHHHHH!!!! Amazing request!! My heart!🥺🥹😭😭😭💞💞 First of all I love Remus and Sirius so much!! I might make this a series with how much I enjoyed writing this!! Plus the prompt itself is so adorable🥹💞I hope you don’t mind this this fic focuses more on Remus, but I promise you if you send me another request I will make it around the two home for the holidays! I sincerely hope you enjoy this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it! Thank you for the request @shadowlord23 ! Love ya bestie! 💞

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!🦃🍂🍁

Holiday Break🚂🍂

Caregiver! Remus Lupin and GN Little! Reader (SFW!)

Tags - bullying, thumb sucking, hurt/comfort, cuddles, hugs, hand holding

Remus would like to think of himself as not your average Professor. He likes to have fun, steer from the textbook and be more hands on with his students. But more than anything he prides himself of looking out for them, making sure they pass yeah, but more than anything that they’re having a good time in his class.

The holiday break is right around the corner. And with it, finals season. So with the stressful atmosphere, Remus made sure to keep a careful eye on one of his students in particular.

One student peaks his interest. Y/N, in (you fav house). They don’t make eye contact much and they’re more on the quiet side, but they’re always paying attention, always so engaged with the class and the subject despite the early morning hours.

They never asked questions durning the class, always saving their comments for him privately after the rest of the students let out. Their pure excitement for the subject always brings a smile to his face.

Occasionally they may be drawing in their notebook occasionally, or playing with a fidget toy, but Remus always knew it’s their way of focusing on him and his lecture.

But with this he noticed they were picked on by other students, specifically those in Slytherin. Comments here and there, occasionally a small shove when they left the class.

When he saw it, he always called it out, feeling a protectiveness for the kind and gentle student. There was something about them getting picked on, that made the hair on the back is his neck stand up.

He thought he had put an end on it. But he was sadly mistaken…

It was late, far later than anyone should really be up. But Remus was hard at work grading the last of his papers before the holiday break. He didn’t want to bring his work home again. He wanted a nice quiet holiday break, at home with his husband by his side.

He’s already received three letters from his husband today. Just from the sheer number, he could tell Sirius was just as eager to have him home as he was.

The letters entailed the details of what they had to do when he got home, all the holiday errands they had to go on, and the details to his train ride:

I’ll meet you at the station my darling.

See you soon,

Sirius♡

He couldn’t wait…not for the shopping but for being back home. But now? He had a stack of papers to finish grading. He sat at his desk at the head of the class. Dim candle lights lit the quiet classroom as a tired Remus worked though the late night ours.

Suddenly there’s a commotion down the hallways. At this hour? He thought to himself. He stood from his desk listening closely. It sounds like…running.

Before his mind could wonder more the door to his classroom swim open and close fast. There, a panting Y/N presses their back to the door.

“Y/N?” Remus heart drops at the sight of the scared student. Immediately he stands from his desk and rounded it, his arms opening to them.

With tears falling down their face, they ran down the row of desk and into his arms, clinging to him like a lifeline.

Immediately Remus engulfs them into a hug, wrapping his arms around the shaking student. “Y/N, my dear what’s going on? What’s got you so scared?”

The problem was Y/N was beyond words, instead settling for crying in Remus arms, unable to express themselves yet.

Remus tries his best to wrap his head around what’s happening while also comforting the crying student. “You’re okay, I’ve got you, you’re safe now.”

Before he comes to the conclusion of what’s going on, he heard voices in the hallway:

“Where did the baby go?”

“We couldn’t have lost them! They’re not that fast.”

“They probably went in the classroom like last time! Come on!”

The door to his classroom swung he open once again. He felt Y/N hide tighter against him as four students, the same year as Y/N, run into the room in the hopes of finding them alone. They were sadly mistaken.

The two Slytherins, one Ravenclaw and Gryffindor freeze seeing the defense against the dark arts teacher standing comforting a crying Y/N.

Before they could turn to run, Remus calls out to them in a stern voice, “Not another step! Take a seat, all of you this instant or I will have each of your headmasters here.”

He feels Y/N hold onto him a little tighter as the bullies enter the classroom and take a seat at different desk, grumbling as the do so.

He glared at the students, his heart pumping with fury. How long has this been going on? But hearing the small sniffles of the student in his arms, he knew he had to take charge of the situation.

“Y/N,” he say gently, kneeling down to meet their teary eyes, “I want you to go in my quarters and wait for me. I’ll be in there in a minute okay?” He smiles, caressing their face.

But he could see the hesitation in their eyes, the vulnerable uncertainty. “I…’m sorry.”

Remus sighs shaking his head, “You are not in any trouble darling. I just want you to stay safe while I deal with the others. But you are in no trouble what so ever.”

They nod back to him, sticking their thumb in their mouth to soothe them more. But he didn’t think twice of the action, if anything it was making things fall into place with Y/N.

He stands taking their hand, “Just that door right there,” he points to the door towards the back of the classroom, “I’ll be there in the blink of an eye.” He smirked back down to them with a small wink.

With a small pat to their back they go off to Professor Lupin’s quarters, giving him once last glance. He smile again, giving them a nod of encouragement. They nod back, grabbing the doorknob and entering his quarters.

The moment that door closes, Remus’ smile drops. He turns his attention to the bullies, prepared to sink his teeth into their behavior…metaphorically speaking of course.😅

~~~

Walking into Professor Lupin’s quarters and closing the door behind me, everything starts to settle down. The pressure of everything dies down along with the noise.

It’s my fault really. I shouldn’t have gone out after dark…I knew they’d find me again….

But now I had someone to protect me this time, I didn’t need to be afraid. It…it’s a nice change.

I go over and sit on his bed. The room is small, just a bedroom, a small bathroom and a big desk.

I can hear him talking sternly in the other room but it’s hard to make out anything he’s saying. But the tone and emotion shine through. I didn’t want to make any trouble for him, I just…I just don’t want to be afraid.

More tears fall as I feel a sense of overwhelming guilt. This is all my fault… I can’t stop the regression that pulls at me.

I don’t know how long I sit there before I hear the open to his quarters. I immediately lift my head up and look at my kind Professor.

Tears continue to fall as he comes over to my side, “You’re okay Y/N. You’re safe now.”

“I’m sorry!” I start to cry.

“You have nothing to apologize for. You did nothing wrong. In fact, you did everything right.”

Wait…what? I did? I lift my head and look at him confused. “I…I did?”

“Yes. You were in trouble and you ran somewhere you felt safe. That brought you to me.” He lights up saying, “And I’m happy you did because I put an end to this once and for all. They will never bother you again.”

I look at him in awe, so happy and utterly relieved. “Really?”

“Really.” He smiles back, “I’m sorry I didn’t realize this was happening sooner. But now it’s over with, they will never bother you again if they know what’s good for them.”

He sits beside me on the bed, opening his arm to me. I immediately sit closer allowing him to put his arm around my back.

I lean against his side, the two of us sitting like that for a while, enjoying the moment and myself enjoying the comfort. My thumb finds its way back to my mouth as I rest against his side.

“Y/N,” he says breaking the comforting silence of the room, “Do…Do you happen to regress? It’s okay if you do, it’s actually very healthy thing to do if you’re feeling scared or overwhelmed. I just need to know to better care for you.”

I nod against him, feeling so content for the first time in a long time. “Yeah. I do.” I lift my head from his shoulder and look back to him only to find him smiling back to me.

“And you don’t have anyone to take care of you? Does Madame Pomfrey know?”

I shake my head no, “I don’t trust anyone else to know…only you.”

I can see how it warms him, “I appreciate that you trust me with something like this. I promise to not betray that trust.” He holds me a little closer.

“Well this just leads me to my next question then.” He leans forward rubbing my back, “What are you planning on doing for the holiday break?”

I shrug, “No…I was just planning on staying here.” It sounds worse saying it out loud. Not that Hogwarts wasn’t nice to stay at…but it would nice to be home for the holidays.

“I’m sorry to say Y/N, but with you being regressed as you are I’m afraid you leave me no choice...” He stands and my heart races. No choice?

He smile back to me, offering me his hand, “You’ll just have to come home with me for the Holidays.”

My eyes light up, “Y-You want me?”

“Sirius and I would be honored to have you for the holidays! I have a feeling he’ll have us running around shopping one of those days but, we’ll make it through together.” He jokes. “I don’t think I could leave Hogwarts without having you by my side. So, would do you say?”

What do I say?! Are you kidding me? Of course the answer is yes!

“Yes!! Yes! A million times yes!” I practically jump into his arms.

He chuckles, hugging me back gently, “We’ll be so honored to have you spending the holidays with us. Sirius is going to love you as much as I do.”

The rest of the night he goes over the plan for tomorrow. He sends Sirius a late night owl message and I get to add a little bit to the end of it.

Then with the owl sent, Professor Lupin walks me back to my house’s dormitory. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning, no later than 8 am. Got it?” He says with a smirk.

“I’ll be there!” I smile back. With another hug, we part ways for the night.

In the morning I rush around my room, grabbing my trunk and throwing it on my bed. I fill it with everything and more! Every stuffie I could think of I’m brining along for my journey to Professor Lupin’s house at Grimmauld Place.

I run down the empty hallways, trunk in hand with my robe and scarf on. Most had already left yesterday, we’re taking the train this morning.

I could barley sleep, so excited for the adventure today! I ran back into the classroom and into his quarters in the back. “Today‘s the day!!”

~~~

Remus couldn’t be happier seeing the spirited Little run into his room, trunk in hand, ready to go. “All set?” He smiles, closing his own trunk and grabbing his satchel.

“Yeah! I’ve got everything! I’m so excited!” In a second they’re by his side.

“Wonderful darling! Then we’re all ready for our big adventure home.” He walks over and grabs his robe, but pauses seeing the open letter from Sirius this morning.

He grabs it before walking back over to Y/N, “Sirius sent this right before you arrived, take a look what it says.”

He watches Y/N eagerly grab it, reading it like to line, growing more excited with every sentence. “He says he can’t wait for me to come!” They look back up to him, bouncing on their feet.

“See? I told you he would! And if he said he didn’t, well then I’d just have to sneak you in myself.” He jokes getting a giggle from them.

“Come on, it’s time to head to the train! We have a long ride ahead of us”. With his robe on and his trunk in hand, he offers his extra hand to Y/N who gladly takes it.

Together they walk down the main stairs and to the front gates of Hogwarts. A carriage takes them to the Hogwarts station where they board the train. Remus helps them put their trunks up, before they take a seat and relax.

The train ride goes wonderfully! Remus grabs them some goodies from the trolly, then Y/N takes out their trunk and shows him every single stuffie and while there isn’t many he makes sure he properly introduces himself to each one.

Between the late night the two had and the early morning train ride, the relaxing train swaying down the tracks lulls the two to into a nap. Y/N sleep on Remus’ lap, head resting against his shoulder while he has his arms wrapped protectively around them.

They don’t even stir them the train makes its way into King’s Crossing Station. They only begin to wake up when there’s a knock at their cabin door.

Y/N whines, rubbing their eyes as Remus lifts his head to the knocking waking up as well, “Yes? Who is it?”

Sirius swings the cabin door open smiling at the sight of the two. “What are you two up to? Sleeping already? But the holiday break has just begun!”

“And you must be Y/N,” He kneels down and opening his arms to Y/N, “I’m Sirius Black. Welcome home Little one!”

[therealcocoshady]

Ok sorry for blowing up your asks, but I have one that might be right up your angsty alley…

Marshall is having a particularly hard time on one of the anniversaries of Proof’s passing…🕊️ He’s super vulnerable with reader and she has to comfort him 😔🥺

DIFFICULT 🕊️

Eminem x Assistant Reader

Synopsis : Em is nowhere to be found as you're waiting for him for an important meeting. Turns out... It's the anniversary of Proof's passing and he needs you.

Tags : Vulnerability - Grief - Angst - Comfort

Author's Note : Thank you for this Ask ! I low-key love that you thought of me when it comes to angsty requests 👀. I got inspired and ended up writing quite a bit but I'm afraid it's all over the place. I hope you like it nonetheless. ❤️

Do you know where he is ? Paul asked, visibly unnerved. He should already be here ! 

He’s coming, you assured the manager. I reminded him of this meeting on Friday, don’t worry, he’s going to show up. 

It’s your job to make sure he shows up on time, Y/N, Paul added sternly. That’s what personal assistants are for. 

He’s never late, you said. I’m sure there’s a good reason. Something must have come up… 

It was unlike Marshall to show up late to a work meeting, especially when it involved music. In the past year, since you had started working for him, he had never shown up late anywhere. If anything, he was a bit neurotic about punctuality. « Early is on time, on time is late » he always said. And when it came to anything regarding his latest album, he tended to show up extremely early, polishing details up until the last minute. Except that, today, he was almost thirty minutes late and you were facing Paul and Dre on your own, and there was only so much small talk you could make. 

Look, if the album’s not ready for me to listen to yet, you guys just have to say so, Dre said. 

No, it is, Paul assured him. I mean, you know Marshall, he’s always trying to polish and tweak little things, but we have a version that’s more than ready for you. We wouldn’t have you come from LA otherwise… 

I’ll try an call him, you said. 

You got up and went to your office. You were starting to be a little freaked out. You didn’t want to be dramatic, but you were starting to feel scared that something terrible had happened. One time, he got into a car crash and was not even that late. Thirty minutes late for Marshall was basically four hours late for anyone else. You got out of the room and tried to call him, but he didn’t pick up. Had he lost his phone ? You knew he hated the iPhone you had convinced him to buy - to replace his more than ancient Blackberry - and he used it as little as possible, but him losing anything was unlikely. And he knew about this meeting. You had specifically reminded him of it. He wouldn’t show up late to a meeting with Dre. He had way too much respect for the man. You nervously checked his iCloud calendar, thinking that maybe he was confused about the time. Unlikely but not impossible either. You remembered adding the event « Meeting with Dre - ALBUM VERSION 1 » for this Monday, 9:00 AM a while ago. But it was nowhere to be found. Had it been accidentally deleted ? Had you dropped the ball ? No. Impossible. Not to toot your own horn, but you wouldn’t screw up like that. It was probably a bug. You checked the week’s other events. Deleted too. You knew he had other meetings and studio sessions planned, but they did not appear on the calendar. Weird. Especially since last week’s event were still appearing, and the following week’s too. It looked like someone had cleared this week’s schedule and you knew it wasn’t you. It had to be Marshall, then, since he was the only other person to have access to his calendar. You were worried. He would not clear a whole week’s schedule, especially not when he was nearly done with his album. Something had to have happened. Something awful, by the looks of it. Your mind immediately went to his family. They were the only people he would clear his schedule for. You decided to call Hailie, hoping that nothing awful had happened to her or her sisters. 

Hey Y/N, you heard her soft voice say as she picked up the phone. How are you ? 

Hey Hailie, you said nervously. Are you alright ? 

All good, she said. Why ? Are you ok ? Is there anything wrong ? 

Um… I don’t know, you said. I'm trying to reach your Dad. Have you heard of him ? 

Not since Thursday, I think. He told me he was spending the weekend with you. What’s wrong ? 

He’s just a little late to a meeting, you said as you tried to sound casual. I was worried that something had happened to you, your sisters, Nate… 

No, we’re all good, she said reassuringly. Look, I’m in Chicago, but I can try and call him… 

Don’t worry about it, you said. Enjoy Chicago.

Thank you ! See you ! 

Hailie didn’t seem too worried, so there was at least that. However, you were a little bugged off. You absolutely had not spent the weekend with Marshall and, frankly, you were a bit shocked that he had lied to his daughter about it. Not that you never spent the weekend together - in the past six months, it had happened quite a bit - but he was not the type to lie to his daughter. It was odd that he would use you as a lie, especially since your relationship - if you could call it that - was still in the developing stage. As far as Hailie was concerned, you were the closest thing her Dad had to a girlfriend but, in actuality, it was a bit more complicated. It wasn’t necessarily serious or committed, and there most certainly wasn’t any label on it. You were his personal assistant, whom he occasionally fooled around with. The only reason Hailie saw you as his girlfriend was that she had walked in on the two of you making out with very, very few clothes on. Thank God, she was an adult and didn’t really want to know anything about it. No one ever mentioned the incident but she assumed there was something between you and Marshall. And there was. In a way. But he wasn’t really the kind of guy to put a label on it and you knew it. He was extremely guarded and, even though you knew you were one of the people closest to him, you didn’t expect much. He was a really great boss, amazing man and more than satisfactory lover, but you knew him enough to know it would never evolve into anything serious. « I don’t do relationships, you know » he had once told you. And you didn’t mind. You enjoyed things just the way they were. The way you saw it, the sex you sometimes had - usually on work trips or late nights - was a perk to your job, along with the generous salary and health benefits. But regardless of all that, him lying about spending the weekend with you was extremely odd. You tried calling him again, but were sent straight to voicemail. You sheepishly went back to the conference room. 

Did you talk to him ? Paul asked. 

No news, you said. That’s odd. I’ll go to his place and if he’s not there, I’ll try the hospitals. I’m sorry. 

I hope he’s ok, Dre said. Keep us posted ? 

Of course. 

You made your way to your car and drove to his place. Security knew your car and plates and saw you often enough to let you through the gates. You parked in front of Marshall’s house and immediately noticed that the car he used the most was parked out front. He was home. Thank God, you didn’t have to worry about a car crash. You rang the bell but no one came to open it. Maybe he had slipped in the shower and injured his head ? Or fallen down the stairs ? No. You often joked about him being older but he wasn’t geriatric either. Still, you were worried so you used your spare key and let yourself in. 

The house was unusually dark and messy. You checked downstairs, the living room, kitchen, office… It was messy, like someone had rummaged through things, but Marshall was nowhere to be found. You tried every room upstairs, every closet, every bedroom, but he wasn’t there either. You decided to try the only remaining space you hadn’t checked : the basement (you doubted he was in the garage - he liked his cars but not enough to cancel a meeting about music). That’s where you found him : in one of the dimly lit rooms he had converted into a home music studio, laying on the carpet, eyes closed, headphones on his head. You gasped and almost thought he was dead. You immediately rushed to his side and checked his breath. As soon as you approached, he slowly opened his eyes and groaned. 

Marshall, are you alright ? You asked. Are you hurt ? 

No, he said in a raspy voice before sitting up. 

You examined his face : he looked like a zombie, or at least like someone who had forgotten what sleep and food were. And judging by the smell, he had also forgotten about showers. You usually enjoyed his masculine scent but now he was smelling as rank as a teenage boy addicted to video games. 

What are you doing here ? He asked. 

I came to check you weren’t dead, you said. You missed the meeting with Dre. Paul is furious. 

Wait… What day is it ? He asked in confusion. 

Monday, you said. April 12th. 

Fuck. 

He rubbed his eyes and scratched his beard, and you inspected him closer. His eyes were bloodshot, with huge dark circles. The beard he usually kept well-trimmed was all over the place, so was his short hair, and his breath smelled of energy drink. He had always had a penchant for soda and Redbull, but it usually wasn’t to the point of smelling like a candy factory. Well, if you added the smell of sweat, it was more like someone who ran a marathon in the Redbull factory. Marshall looked at you without saying a word. 

Are you alright ? You asked. 

Does it look like I’m alright ? He groaned. 

Not really, you admitted - not really knowing what to say. 

Why are you ask, then ?

If you hadn’t been so worried, you would have snapped at him for behaving like an ass, but it wasn’t him. You sighed and looked at the CDs he’d been listening to : « Searching for Jerry Garcia » and « I Miss the Hip Hop Shop » by Proof. That’s when it hit you : today was April 12th and April 11th was the anniversary of his best friend’s passing. The both of you were sitting on the carpet, not saying a word. He knew that you knew. 

Do you… Um… Want to talk about it ? You asked tentatively. 

I need a shower, he said. 

Yes he did. He definitely did. You got up and waited for him to do the same but he simply groaned as he tried to move. You gave him your hand and helped him up as he let out a moan and held his back. You wondered how long he’d been laying there, listening to music and losing track of time. He seemed to have trouble even standing up. « God, he must be exhausted », you thought. 

Need help ? You asked. 

Y-Yeah, he said. 

Shower ? 

Yeah. 

Without a word, you helped him to the nearest bathroom where he started undressing without even waiting for you to leave. You could feel your cheeks burn. You’d seen him naked before, sure, but this different than the two of you shedding your clothes in a passionate moment. Now, you had the feeling of seeing something you weren’t supposed to. It felt a bit weird. You watched him step in the shower and went upstairs, to his closet, to pick some clothes for him to wear. You grabbed boxers, some sweatpants, a wife beater and a hoodie and put them in the bathroom, near the sink before opening the windows to let in some light and fresh air, as you tidied up a bit. You’d spent some time in his house before but you had never seen the place this messy. 

Thanks for the clothes, Marshall said as he emerged from the bathroom. 

Feeling better ? You asked. 

Yeah.

When was the last time you showered ? You asked. 

I don’t know, he shrugged. 

Last time you ate ? 

Fri…Sat… I don’t know, he replied. 

He seemed gaunt and, even if the shower seemed to have done some good, Marshall seemed like a corpse. He was standing there, staring at you, not extremely responsive. You had never seen him like this and it was definitely a far cry from his usual self. Ever since you had met him for the first time, you had found him to have an impressive presence. Whenever he walked into a room, he naturally drew attention to him and he had such charisma that he seemed bigger than he actually was. But for the first time, he looked weak and lost. 

Are you hungry ? You asked. 

A bit, he replied. 

Sit, you said. I’ll prepare something. What do you want ? Pasta ? 

Whatever, he said. 

He sat on the couch and you made your way to the kitchen. Being the one responsible for his shopping, you knew the pantry like the back of your hand and knew exactly what was in there. You decided to make some homemade spaghetti, using Mom’s Spaghetti sauce with homemade garlic toasts. His lazy comfort food. When you brought his plate to the living room, he was manspreading, looking at the ceiling. 

Thanks, he said as you handed him the food. Chips would have been enough, you know ? 

You need to eat a real meal, you simply said. 

He nodded and started to eat. You noticed he was avoiding your gaze. He usually didn’t have much trouble maintaining eye contact, except for when he was ashamed, or sad, or tired. In this case, you knew it was probably a mixture of everything. There was no doubt as to his exhaustion and sadness, and you knew he would feel ashamed for missing an important work meeting. You looked at him and left the room to go and call Paul. 

So ? He asked. How is he ? 

He’s… sick, you lied, knowing full well Marshall wouldn’t want you telling people how you had found him. 

Sick ? The managed asked. What does he have ? 

The flu, you said. It’s pretty nasty. I cleared up his schedule for the week. He needs rest. He’s really sorry about the meeting. 

Alright. I’ll call him later, he said. Dre has to leave today, we’ll have to set up another meeting. 

I’ll let him know. 

You also texted Hailie to let her know you had managed to get ahold of her Dad. When you got back to Marshall, he was looking at a picture frame of him and Proof. From the looks of it, you guessed it was from 2005-2006. You sat next to him in silence. 

The flu ? He asked in a raspy voice. 

Couldn’t come up with anything better on the spot, you said. At least, it buys you the rest of the week so you can rest. 

No need, he said. I can… I can work. 

Bullshit, you sighed. 

He stared in your eyes for the first time all day and sighed. His eyes went back to the picture frame and you could see hum swallow dryly. 

Went was this taken ? You asked. 

March 2006, he said in a breaking voice. It’s the last picture of him I have… 

His breath was shaky and you could tell he was on the verge if tears. You placed a hand over his and gently stroked his skin. 

It’s ok to cry, you know ? You said softly. 

You weren’t too sure why you said that. Of course it was ok to cry. A man in his fifties, especially your boss, did not need your permission to cry. Or so you thought. Because as soon as the words left your lips, the tears started to flow and he started sobbing. You put a hand on his back and tried to soothe him while you saw his face redden and scrunch up, his tears wetting his face. It was painful seeing him like this and you wished there was something you could do. If that were possible, you would gladly take his pain and make it yours. 

Fu-fuck, I-I’m sorry, he said after a while. 

You have nothing to apologize for, you said gently. It’s ok. He was your best friend. It’s ok to be sad. 

I-I fucked up…

It’s just a work meeting, you reminded him. We’ll set up another meeting with Dre, I’ll move a couple of appointments, it’s fine. 

No, not… I-I…

He was trying to speak but he wasn’t making much sense. He was stuttering, his voice cracking, changing pitch… You put your arms around him, half-expecting him to push you away but he didn’t. You kept running a hand up and down his back to soothe him a bit and it seemed effective. 

Thank you, Y/N, he said. 

Were you like this all weekend ? You asked. 

Yeah… 

Is that why you told Hailie I was spending the weekend with you ? 

I… Yeah, he said sheepishly. I didn’t want the kids to see me like this. 

I see, you said. So… what ? You listened to his music, looked at pictures and lost track of time ? 

I guess, he shrugged. I… I tried to go to his grave yesterday but it was packed. 

I guess a lot of people miss him, you said. 

No, it was… I saw them and they were wearing… My tee-shirts. My merch. They were my fans. On his grave. And it drove me fucking mad. Because I couldn’t even get out of my car, and I had to see these people pay respect but they were fans. They didn’t know him. And I saw the posts on social media. And people keep on making it about me. 

His voice broke again. You had often had conversations with him about fame and how he was dealing with it. Most of the time, he was grateful for it, though he often gave the impression that he didn’t really get why he was famous and how people could look up to him so much. « It’s just me », he often said. Deep down, he only saw himself as a guy trying to make it in hip-hop, trying to be the best emcee. Fame was never really part of his plan, though he was grateful for the success and love of people granted him. But the way he was speaking, it seemed like less of a blessing and more of a curse. He explained to you that he felt guilty for people making Proof’s death about him. Sure, he was his best friend, but he was so much more, and he just wished people would respect his legacy and everything he meant to the hip-hop culture. He also felt guilty when he thought about Proof’s family, who didn’t only have to deal with a tragic loss but also his own fame, and always being asked questions about him. 

His wife… She always hated me, you know ? He said. She hated all of us. Proof was never home, always either getting in trouble with us or trying to keep us out of it. Now we don’t speak too much and… I mean, I get it, I was his friend, not hers, but… I don’t know. I was supposed to be an uncle to his kids, you know ? I’m supposed to be there for them, not make things difficult. I’m supposed to be the one sending flowers, not receiving them in their place. 

Do you keep in touch ? You asked. 

I try, he said. I mean, if the kids need something, they know they can call. Sharonda too. She never would, she’s too proud but… Yeah, I just wish I could do more, you know ? 

I know, you said. You shouldn’t feel guilty… 

No, I should, he shrugged. When he died, I was a massive asshole about it… I mean, I guess I made it a lot about me. But now it makes me so mad. And sad. And I miss him so much and I just wish I could apologize to him. 

For what ? You asked as you stroked his hand. 

Everything, he shrugged. For being ungrateful and not seeing everything he did to hold down the fort. Proof… He was strong when I was weak. And I never got to tell him how thankful I am. If it weren’t for him, I’d still be making burgers. 

I’m sure he knew how much you loved him, you said softly. 

I hope, he said. He was everything to me… Like… We didn’t love each other like that, you know. Like, no homo or whatever. But sometimes I think he was the love of my life. In a platonic way. Like, he was my other half, the one who made me a better person. And now that he’s gone… I’m just me. And it’s hard. 

You’re still pretty great, you said. And I know he would be proud of you. 

I… I don’t know, he said. 

He seemed lost in his thoughts. You realized you had been stroking his back the whole time and stopped. He turned to you with his eyebrows furrowed and he didn’t even have to ask for you to resume. It was the first time the two of you had such a prolonged physical contact without it being sexual and you wondered if he noticed, too. He closed his eyes and you looked at him some more. He was clearly exhausted and you weren’t too sure how long he would need to sleep. Probably a long time. 

You should go to bed, you said softly. 

I guess, he shrugged. 

You need rest, you insisted. I’ll do the dishes and go home, ok ? You can call me if you need anything. 

Can you stay ? He asked nervously. I… I don’t feel like being… alone. 

Sure, you said with a hint of surprise. 

Ok. 

He got up and headed upstairs. When he noticed you weren’t following him, he turned to you with a raised eyebrow. 

You don’t want to come ? 

Upstairs ? You asked with your eyebrows furrowed. To your… room ? 

You said I needed to sleep, he pointed out. I’m not sleeping on the damn couch. 

You shrugged and followed him. That was new. You had slept over a couple of times, but never in the same bed as him. The only circumstances in which you had seen his bedroom were strictly sexual. But as soon as the deed was done, he wouldn’t sleep in the same bed as you. And even when you had slept with him during work trips, you’d been back to your own room after. It was one of the many ways in which he could be guarded and you knew it had nothing to do with you. He just had his quirky, peculiar ways. He got in bed and looked at you intently. 

Come, he said. 

Ok, you said as you sat next to him. 

Remove your socks, he instructed. 

I’m not removing my socks, you said. My feet are cold. 

You’re not getting in my bed with your dirty socks, he pointed out. 

I just put them on this morning, you said. They’re not dirty. 

It’s a pet peeve, he said. Just… Socks off, ok ? And get under the covers. 

You scoffed. If he was in a good enough state to be oddly specific - as he often was about practically everything in his life - it was a good sign. You took your socks off and sat in bed, under the covers. It felt weird but Marshall didn’t seem to pick on it. He simply laid there and stared at you. 

You’re not laying down ? He finally asked. 

Um… Sitting is fine, you said. 

Can you lie down, please ? He asked. 

You looked at him with a raised eyebrow but still did as you were told. As soon as you laid down next to him, he closed his eyes. Given how exhausted he looked, you half-expected him to fall asleep right then and there but he didn’t. Instead, he kept on tossing and turning. 

What’s up ? You asked. Do you need anything ? 

I think it’s the Redbull, he said. I haven’t drank much else in days. It’s keeping me awake. 

Oh, you said. Let’s talk, then. 

About what ? He asked. 

I don’t know, you shrugged. We can talk about anything. What’s up with the cleared schedule on iCloud ? Did you do that ? 

Yeah… I don’t know, he said sheepishly. I… I went to the cemetery yesterday and when I couldn’t go and had to go home, I guess I lost it. There were these thoughts in my head and… I’m not sure I can do it anymore. Without Proof it’s… too hard. 

Tears were welling in his eyes again. It had been more than fifteen years since Proof’s passing and Marshall had put out quite a few albums in that time, but the wound still seemed fresh. It wasn’t a matter of his technical ability to do it without Proof - of course he could - it was about whether or not he wanted to. 

Ok, you said. 

Ok ? He asked. 

What do you want me to say ? You asked. Do you want me to plead for you to keep going ? I’m not going to. If you want to quit and retire, that’s ok, you’re allowed. 

Really ? 

I mean… Yeah, you said simply. It’s your decision. If you think you don’t have anything else to bring to the table, that’s fine. You’ve had a good run and a career people can only dream of having. If you decide to put an end to it, that’s fine. 

Wait… No, he said. I mean, your job is to talk me out of it. Is that some reverse psychology thing ? 

It’s Paul’s job to talk you out of it, you clarified. Me, I’m just a personal assistant. My job is to manage your schedule and make life easier for you. Whether or not you put out music, my job’s fine as long as you need me to do your shopping, come to football games with you and remind you of your dentist’s appointments. Next one is in two months by the way. 

He chuckled and you couldn’t help but smile. His face was still puffy and he still didn’t look his best, but hearing him laugh - however lightly - was good. He was a great person and you hated seeing him like this. Of all the people you had ever met, he was the one who had suffered the most, and deserved it the least. He was a good, hardworking, honest and generous man, on top of being one of the most talented people ever. His sadness was breaking your heart. If his career was making him sad, if keeping on going without Proof was too hard, he should be allowed to quit. He had earned it and, in your opinion, he didn’t have anything left to prove to anyone. 

So you don’t care whether I end my career or not ? He asked with an amused look. 

As a fan, I think it would be tragic, you said. Especially If you don’t put out that last album. It’s your best work so far. But as a person… What I care about is you, Marshall. I’m in the front row, seeing how hard you work every day. If you say that’s too hard, then that’s too hard and I trust you on that. If you think you’ll be happier doing something else, just enjoying life with your family and focusing on your charity, you should do that. 

Proof would kick my ass for thinking of quitting, he said pensively. 

I think Proof would want you to be happy, you pointed out. 

He hummed and looked at you. He brought a hand to your face and stroked your face as a single tear rolled on his cheek. You smiled and wiped the tear, letting your hand cup his face. You stared at each other in silence. It was unusual but, oddly enough, not uncomfortable. 

Thank you for staying, Y/N, he simply said before letting out a small yawn. 

You should really try and get some sleep, you replied softly. 

He nodded and closed his eyes as you heard him take deep breaths. A couple of minutes later, he was asleep. You could hear him snore lightly. You looked at your phone to check the time. It was only 1PM. You figured you’d stay there for a while and let him sleep while you answered a couple of e-mails. After a couple of hours, Marshall was still sleeping soundly. You thought you might as well do some tidying up in the house, but as soon as you tried to move, you felt his arm around your waist, bringing you closer to him. You smiled to yourself as you realized it was the first time you actually cuddled with him - and you enjoyed it more than you probably should. Your back was against his chest and you could feel his heartbeat. This and the sensation of his arm around you were incredibly soothing and you allowed yourself to close your eyes for a minute.

(…)

Marshall groaned as you gently shook his shoulder to try and wake him up. He scrunched up his nose and let out a few obscenities. He looked pissed off as he opened his eyes. 

What time is it ? He groaned. 

About 7PM, you said. 

You better have a good reason to wake me up, he sighed. 

I think I do. You have clothes on your bed and ten minutes to get changed, ok ? 

I’m not getting dressed, and I’m not going out, he said with an eye roll. 

And I’m not giving you a choice, you said with a smile. Get up. Please. You won’t regret it. 

You made your way downstairs and prepared a bottle of water and a snack for Marshall as you waited for him. When he arrived, he looked a bit puzzled. He was still clearly tired but he looked a lot better. You made him get in your car and drove to the cemetery. You had called ahead of time and asked if they would do you a favor and keep the place open for a couple more hours. You used the « Marshall Mathers » card, which always worked when it came to getting a table at a fancy restaurant, borrowing a private jet or keeping a store open when Marshall needed to shop for his daughters’ birthday. 

What are we doing here ? He asked as you parked out front.

You know what we’re doing here, you said. It’s after hours and you get to pay your respects in peace. 

You… You arranged for this ?

I did, you said. They’ll be open until 8:30PM. I’m sorry, I didn’t find a florist open, though. 

He looked at you in shock and immediately engulfed you in a hug before whispering a « thank you » in your ear before getting out of the car. An hour later, you were leaning on the hood of your car, smoking a cigarette when Marshall came back. He seemed more at peace. You could tell he had cried - as people often do when they’re visiting someone’s grave - but he seemed alright nonetheless. He walked up to you and took you by surprise by kissing you. Contrary to all the kisses you’d shared until now, this one wasn’t greedy, hungry or passionate. It was tender and soft. Intimate and emotional. 

A-Are you alright ? You asked. 

Yeah, he hummed. Thank you for taking me. 

You’re welcome, you said with a smile. 

Ready to go ? He asked. 

Almost, you said as you pointed to your cigarette - knowing full well the hatred he had of your smoking habit. 

The drive home was a bit weird. You had kissed before but this felt different. You had always enjoyed his kisses but this one was, by far, your favorite. You felt a little guilty for enjoying it so much. If you were honest with yourself, it was a little scary, too. The only reason you had managed not to catch feelings for Marshall was because he was usually guarded and there were a lot of boundaries. But after today, after seeing him this open and vulnerable, you weren’t too sure you could go back to having casual sex with him. It would be too dangerous. 

Did you know Proof’s family would be there ? He asked as you parked in front of his place. 

Were they ? You asked in surprise. No, I didn’t. 

The cemetery must have called them, then, he shrugged. 

I’m sorry, you said. I insisted that you have your privacy… 

It’s fine, he said. I talked to Sharonda. Nasaan was here too. 

How did it go ? 

Pretty well, he said. I’m seeing them later this week. Over dinner. 

That’s great, you replied with a smile. I’m happy for you. 

Thank you Y/N, he said emotionally. For everything you always do for me. I mean, I wouldn’t be able to get through life without you. You put up with me, you make life bearable… And… Thank you for today, especially. 

You’re welcome, you said with a small smile. 

He cupped your face and kissed you again. You leaned into the kiss more than you should. A part of you knew that you should push him away… But you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. Not after he had such a hard day. So you kissed him back and enjoyed the sensation of his tongue caressing yours, of his fingers in your hair. 

Now, you should go and get some rest, you said softly. 

Are you coming ? He asked as he stroked your cheek. 

Do you need me ? 

Y/N… I always need you. 

And just like that… You knew you were screwed. You felt an army of butterflies in your stomach and your brain was nowhere to be found. It had left the chat as soon as you heard Marshall’s soft voice say he needed you. You were unable to think so your emotions took over as you exited the car and got inside the house, his hand in yours. 

[deadratdonoteat]

Roronoa Zoro x reader

He didn’t mean to say no

Tags- angst, fluff, blood, injury, unspoken words, near death experience

W.C= 1.2k

2/3

Weeks had passed since my confession. I’d like to say I was doing better, that I was moving on but… I wasn’t. My heart would still speed up when I was around him. I’d still blush when he’d talk to me. Our relationship was different now. I decided that I don’t need his protection from anything. I can take care of myself.

it was hard to sit next to him during meals. He’d try to make small talk but I’d just give him short replies. I didn’t mean to be so dry and distant but it just happened.

The ship was docking at some random island to stock up on supplies. There was an eerie feeling to the village. The people looked like we were prey.

Normally I’d stay with Zoro and make sure he wouldn’t get lost. I couldn’t bring myself to be around him. After that rejection, I saw him differently. Not in a bad way but different. He had tried to speak to me privately but I shut him down. I don’t need him to try and talk down to me more.

Nami gave us orders of how to make this trip fast. We all had specific instructions on what to grab. I was on medical supplies duty.

I walked to some shops and asked around for the supplies. The people were weirdly quiet. They whispered where to go. I made my way to where they said and was met with a creepy, run down hospital looking place. I knocked on the door but it opened upon my knocks. I stepped inside. The place was covered in dust and grime. It was pretty dark despite it being mid day outside.

”Hello?” I called out for anyone. There was a slight movement to my left. Quickly turning my head I saw a child. He was pretty dirty. He seemed to be shivering. Either from fear or the abnormal coldness in the room.

“Hey little guy, are you ok?” I spoke with as much softness I could muster. I crouched down to his level. He flinched at my movements. He looked so scared. He was wearing rags.

”Do you need help?” I asked. He shook his head. I was getting a weird feeling. Why was this little boy here?

“What’s your name?” I tilted my head to seem friendlier. His breathing calmed down a little. His fidgeting hands stopped. He met my eyes.

”Kazu,” he spoke in a small tone. I gave him a soft smile.

”Nice to meet you Kazu, my name is Y/n,” I introduced myself, “Where are your parents?” he didn’t answer. I took his silence as a sad answer. I nodded my head at him.

“Would you like to help me find some things?” I asked trying to distract him from my previous question. He just nodded and looked at the ground. I held out my hand to him. His small cold hands grabbed mine. We walked around the building. I grabbed anything that could be of use. Some of the falling apart cabinets had medicine and bandages.

Nami will be pleased with my find. Stuffing my bag with the supplies, there was a sudden bang outside. It didn’t sound close but it was still concerning. Kazu’s grip tightened.

“Don’t worry! Everything is okay,” I stated calmly at him. He looked up. His eyes held so much sorrow. My already aching heart ached more. There was another bang but closer to us. We needed to leave.

”Let’s go see what it is,” I said while walking to the entrance. Outside seemed darker. The air seemed to be ashy. Kazu coughed. I picked him up. He latched onto me immediately. Walking slowly around the village. I couldn’t see anyone. Looking up I saw the once blue sky was covered in dark clouds.

I continued walking. I saw figures ahead of me. They seemed to be fighting. Gunshots were heard. As I got closer I could see two of my crew mates. Zoro and Sanji. They were fighting the villager that worked at the bar. He had two guns.

“What’s happening?!” I shouted at the two. Zoro immediately turned to me. He looked between me and the child in my hands.

“The village is full of pirates,” Sanji yelled back. So the creepy feeling we all had was right. “Get back to the ship,” Sanji called out to me again. I nodded and turned to go a different direction. I was running. Kazu didn’t slow me down at all. I couldn’t take him with me. This is his home. Even if he himself is a pirate. Once I got behind a building, I placed Kazu down.

“Me and my crew are leaving, are you safe here?” I asked. Kazu nodded. His hand grabbed mine as I continued walking carefully. I could see the docked ship. Nami was waving frantically at me. I could see her look behind me for a moment before her face dropped. Quickly looking back I saw a village with a scary expression holding a gun. He grew a smile, his crooked teeth on full display.

He raised the gun. I could hear Nami call out behind me. I reached for my weapon. I wouldn’t be able to deflect a bullet. The gun lowered to Kazu. My eyes widen. I could see the finger on the trigger pull. My instincts kicked in and I moved. I covered Kazu from the fire. I fell to my knees to protect him. Holding him in my arms. It didn’t hurt at first. The bullet went straight through my shoulder. Missing Kazu.

“Y/N,” Nami yelled. My eyes widened again. There was a new pain. Looking down I saw a knife. A knife stabbed into my lower stomach. Kazu had stabbed me. He looked scared. This is what he was probably raised to do. I hit his head, carefully holding him as he fell unconscious. I laid him on the ground. I pulled the knife out.

The villager laughed and talked about how I fell for the trap. I didn’t care. The pain in my shoulder and stomach was growing. In an instant I was behind the yapping man. The knife now in his chest but in a more serious place. I watched as he hit the ground. My hand came to hold my wound. I looked down at my hands. They were covered in blood. My vision was getting blurry. I looked up to see if Nami was okay. My eyes met with beautiful silver ones. Eyes that I would lose myself into quite often.

Zoro was by the ship staring at me. His eyes wide. He saw me drop to my knees and clenched my stomach. He started running over to me while calling my name. I wish I could have seen his face, I bet he was worried. My vision went black. Before I fell to the ground, strong arms held me up. They pulled me into an embrace off the ground. I couldn’t move, see or feel anything but I could hear Zoro’s voice. He was talking to me.

“Stay with me,” He said, “Don’t close your eyes, come on open them, I want to see your beautiful eyes,” his voice cracked. I could feel my eyes flickering close. I saw a light. It was warms and welcoming.

“Please, god, please stay with me,” Zoro’s voice was fading, “Please I can’t live without you,” the light was getting closer. I felt so warm. I wanted to see what the light was. It was calling for me.

“I love you,”

everything went black. My ears were ringing. I replied what was just said. Someone loved me? The light faded away. I was cold. So cold.

<3

[towriteloveontheirarms]

Alicent has got it going on (modern!Alicent x younger!Reader)

synopsis: You go out for a night of fun with your friends, but while you are at the bar, the object of your desire is somewhere entirely else.

warnings: age gap (reader is of age), flirting, dirty talk & smut adjacent, afab reader

word count: 2.1k

taglist: @hopelesswritergall @urmomsgirlfriend1

(If you want to be tagged for a specific character/fandom or in general let me know in my asks, comments or DMs)

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Even after countless years of being friends with Helaena, to a point where the two of you would call each other sisters, it still feels weird to just walk into the house that your mom had to drive you to almost every day for years when you were a kid. Times had changed. You grew up and so you could make your own way to the villa and enter through the front door with a key that Helaena had gifted you some years back when the two of you entered college.

Upon entering you hear a voice in the living room which, when further investigating, you find out to be Alicent´s. Currently arguing with someone on the phone. Once she sees you, she holds the phone away from her ear and hangs up.

“Oh, I didn´t see you there.” She greets you with a rare, genuine smile.

"Sorry. I didn't realise you were on a call. I just wanted to say hi." You greet your best friend's mother. You have always found Alicent to be absolutely stunning and so you can´t hide a small blush heating up your cheeks as you give her a small wave.

Alicent turns her full attention towards you at the sound of your voice. She knew you had grown up but hadn’t seen you in quite a while. “Hello, dear. How are you?” Her eyebrows raise, awaiting your answer, not even mentioning the call.

“I've been holding up just fine. How about you? Helaena has told me you're working a lot these days." You give the older woman a small smile in return.

"Yes, dear. It's been non-stop, but that´s business." At her words you remember that she had taken over leading the firm in her husband´s stead only a short while ago when Helaena´s father became too sick to continue to do so indefinitely.

Throughout all this time, she doesn´t take her eyes off you for a single second. Those beautiful, big, brown eyes that seemed to shimmer every time you saw her in spite of or maybe because of the stress she was put under. In the end she wasn´t that much older than you. That thought gets your cheeks to burn a little brighter.

“I hope you remember to take breaks too. The company can be glad to finally be led by someone competent, but it would be a shame to see you work yourself into a burnout or something.” You shuffle your feet on the ground, making her even more aware of your painfully awkward attraction towards her.

"I'm sure I'll be fine. I've become quite used to it. Thank you for your concerns though, dear. That is very sweet.” Alicent says confidently, her tone is filled with pride and she takes your hand to let you feel her gratitude for your expression of concern.

The second the older woman´s skin touches yours, has your brain screaming so loud that you are scared anyone would be able to hear. "You know, if you ever do want a break, you should come out to our bar or something. If you don't think going out with your daughter's friend is weird or something. You would be surprised what an evening out can bring about."

The words let not only her eyes widen and eyebrows shoot up for a second, but your own as well.

Suddenly the air in the room is noticeably thicker. You feel like you don´t get enough of it into your lungs, making your head spin like a carousel and the way the older woman’s hand squeezes yours only throws you off the rails even more.

Before you know it, her hand lets go of yours, not giving any time for disappointment to settle, as they instantly settle on your waist, with her thumbs brushing over your ribs just below the swell of your breasts. In response to her pulling you closer, your hands go to tightly hold her by the waste rubbing tight circles into the soft, by lavish silk covered flesh.

Hesitantly your faces moved closer bit by bit. It felt right to be so close to her, to feel her auburn curls brush against your cheeks and make almost a curtain to shut out the rest of the world. Your noses rub against each other from the proximity and little fireworks tingle over your lips. The moment feels so magical.

The horn of Baela´s car being pressed down continuously, to alert approximately the entire neighbourhood and the muffled screams of the young woman to go along with it pull the two of you back to reality against your will.

“I have to go…” You whisper, basking in the energy of the moment a bit longer. Wishing you could stay there with Alicent for even just one more moment. A wish that is reciprocated by her. You are hyper aware of your hands that rest against her waist to keep her perfect body close when Alicent pulls away from you. And though they have never touched to begin with, your lips chase hers for a second and a whimper leaves your lungs.

"You are perfect." You whisper breathlessly when your eyes flutter back open.

Those moments with Alicent stay in your mind's forefront the entire time you sit beside your friends in the cinema. Thinking about the almost kiss rather than paying attention to whatever movie Helaena and Baela had decided on.

The three of you head to a bar afterwards to meet up with a few more friends. Each of you getting enough drinks to ensure everyone was a good bit more than just lightly buzzed. In your inebriated state you remember you still had Alicent´s number saved from something or another a few months ago. So without thinking you reach into your purse to pull out your phone to send the woman a short message. "I can't get you out of my mind. Your hands felt like pure heaven."

Normally you would have spent the time until the device pinged with a response biting at your nails to relief the nervous energy that would course through your system, but it doesn´t happen. The earlier interaction had made you feel quite confident in the attraction being requited. At the same time, back at the Targaryen-Hightower home Alicent smirked at the message as her body began tingling anew. "I miss touching you. Your body is just so irresistible." She replied, leaning back in her chair as she waited for her phone to vibrate again. If anyone would see her right now, they would probably say she looks like a giddy schoolgirl. And you didn´t look much better. Biting your lip to keep yourself from kicking your feet at the warm giddiness that spread through your body with every answer you received from her.

"Gods, I wish I could be with you right this second so I could taste your skin and worship you just the way you deserve." One of your friends that keeps you company while the others go to get more drinks eyes you suspiciously, but luckily says nothing. Counting myself lucky in that I put my phone away and try to concentrate on the conversation at hand, but feeling it vibrate once more pulls your thoughts right back to Alicent. "And what exactly would this worship entail?" Reads the message, making your mind reel and run wild with everything you wanted to do to her.

"It would entail me kissing all over your body and feeling you all over. Tracing your skin with my tongue up your thighs to your most sensitive spot and then I would spend my time between your thighs until your throat would be sore from screaming my name." You can feel your breath become shallow already even though there was no ending to the evening in sight yet and there was no chance to leave early either, but no matter how much you told yourself to calm down it is to no use. The arousal that pools between your legs and sticks your panties to your core at the thought of the older woman won´t let up. It takes longer for another answer to roll in this time, due to Alicent willing her reddened cheeks and racing heart to calm down in order to think clearly again. Only then she finds an appropriate response to type out and send with lightly trembling fingers. “You sure know how to make me feel things, don’t you?”

Despite willing herself to calm down, Alicent's body became flushed. Her breath hitched at the vivid description, and her body became flooded with a rush of pure heat. She couldn’t believe someone could speak so filthy. Her jaw hung open with a dumb expression as she read the message over and over again.

“It´s only what you deserve. You work so hard; you deserve to feel good every once in a while.” You respond almost instantly. Barely making it in time to hide the screen again as Helaena looks over your shoulder.

“The youth and their phones….” She clicks her tongue but breaks out in a giggle not even a few seconds after. “Who has you smiling like this?”

Judging by the redness spread over all over her face she is far more affected by the alcohol than the rest of you. Then again, she always was the one worst at handling her booze. Conveniently this gave you the perfect topic change.

“Maybe you should drink some water before you get another round.” You snicker at her antics.

“I´m fine, mom.” She chanted exaggeratedly, though even the sentiment can´t ruin her mood.

So, you shrug it of and decide that keeping an eye on her would be all you can do. A smart choice, as the night soon gets cut short, by her getting a little too hyper. Leading to Baela dropping you off at the house, before getting herself back to Driftmark. Bless the seven that the Velaryon stayed sober and thus could help you to basically carry her all the way from the car to her room as to not make a major commotion and wake everyone else up. Unfortunately, it is a whole different story to get her to sleep. A seemingly impossible task throughout which you have to remind yourself how much you loved your best friend repeatedly.

Once Helaena is sound asleep naturally you are wide awake. Tossing, turning and scrolling through your phone in a now much more sober state. Then you remember the texts you had sent to Alicent earlier and with your friend fast asleep, you sneak out of her room and down the hall to Alicent's. Opening and closing the door as quietly as possible, you find the woman splayed out in her bed. Clad in a short, dark green satin nightdress and illuminated by the moonlight streaming through the window. The cool light makes her look even more gorgeous than the sunlight earlier, though you thought that wasn't possible. Her breasts rise and fall in deep, even breaths. It´s a sight for the gods. On your tiptoes you make your way over to the bed. Feeling the soft mattress dip underneath your weight, as you lean over her unsuspecting form. For a second you doubt what you are about to do, but when the Hightower woman shifts in her unconscious state to expose her neck more and her soft lips part for a sigh to escape, you´re done for.

Your own lips part and your head lowers to press a wet kiss to her neck. Then another and another as Alicent shifts and writhes beneath, before finally waking up with a gasp of your name.

“Shhh, yes it´s me.” You whisper to her to signal to stay quiet.

She blinks the sleep from her eyes with rapid movements and threads her fingers into your hair. “Don´t stop, please…”

She begs in a breathy, irresistible voice and who were you to deny her. With a brush of the fingers, you put a strand of auburn curls behind her ear, triggering a full body shiver when your nails scrape along the sensitive skin.

“I won´t. I promise.” You vow in return and seal it by sealing her lips with your in the kiss that should have happened hours ago. Followed by so much more that, if titled the best night of your life, would still be an understatement. Having her thighs tremble on the sides of your head as she tried to keep her body away from resting fully on your head, no matter how often you tried to nudge her down by the hips. Satisfied couldn´t even begin to capture the air around you as you lay beside each other, tightly entangled, bathed in the light of the rising sun and on the brink of sleep.

[fanfics4all]

Domestic Abuse

Request: Yes / No Thank you @badthingshappenbingo​ for my card! 

Don’t be shy, request things! <3 Have a nice day/night

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader 

Word count: 4981

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, bruises, injuries, scared to leave someone, 

Y/N: Your Name 

A/N: I won't be tagging anyone since this could be triggering!

Prompt(s):

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK! 

If you want to be on the tag list for anything (My series fics, specific character fics, or just all of them) All you have to do is send me an ask and I will add you! 

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If you enjoy my work, you could also show support by buying me a coffee! 

(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

I should have left before we moved. Hell, the whole reason we moved was because people started noticing the bruises I couldn’t hide as well. Fifteen years with Chris was now my nightmare. He wasn’t always a bad guy, but then again they never are, are they? We were high school sweethearts and got married five years after we graduated. We had our son Cameron just a few months later. It wasn’t until Cameron turned four that the abuse started. Maybe it was the stress from his job and having a child so young that made him start, but it’s no excuse. I was scared of him. For the first time since I knew Chris, I was scared of him. 

It was a Friday night and Cameron was sick. I hadn’t been out of the house that wasn’t for groceries, taking Cameron to school, or an appointment in months. I had asked Chris if he could watch our son while I went out and had a girl's night. Mistake number one. 

“You’re his fucking Mother, you take care of him. That’s your damn job.” He growled. 

“Chris I haven’t been out in forever. The girls just want to-” 

“Oh, bullshit!” He shouted and stood up. 

“You just wanna go out and slut around some fucking club like the stupid whore you are! Am I not fucking enough for you? I mean come the fuck on Y/N, you don’t need to work because I fucking provide for you and that fucking kid, who now I’m not even sure if he’s fucking mine because you’re such a whore-” 

“Of course he’s yours! I haven’t been with another man since high school!” I shouted back. Mistake number two. He raised his fist and slammed it into my face. 

“Don’t you fucking talk back to me!” He shouted so loud I was worried he’d wake Cameron up. He didn’t need to see his Father like this. Tears slowly fell down my face as I looked up at the man I didn’t even recognize now. 

“C-Chris, please… J-Just lower your voice or you’ll wake Cameron.” 

“I don’t give a shit! You have a great fucking life with me and you’re sitting here trying to go out and cheat!” He screamed. He gripped me by the shirt and lifted me off the ground. 

“You get the fuck in the kitchen and grab me a beer then fuck back off to take care of that kid like you’re supposed to.” He growled in my face and I nodded, terrified of what else he’d do. He shoved me away and I fell back to the floor. He sat back on the couch and glared at me. 

“Fucking hurry up.” He said and I scrambled to do as he asked. I rushed into Cameron’s room and he was still out, thank God. 

A few weeks later Chris was on a business trip and it was just Cameron and myself. I was so relieved to be rid of Chris for a bit, but I knew he’d be keeping track of me and checking the cameras he had hidden in the apartment. I had only found a few, but I had no idea how many there were. It didn’t help that just before he left he beat me as a reminder that I was stuck with him. He wanted to make sure I wouldn’t show my face in public, so I had plenty of bruises to try and cover-up. I did my best, but Cameron could still see a bit on my face. I had to lie and tell him I fell in the shower last night. 

It was the last day Chris was gone and I needed to get more groceries. I made a quick list and grabbed my purse. I walked over to Cameron’s room and smiled as I saw him playing with his trucks. 

“Hey baby, you wanna come to the grocery store with Mommy? I’ll get you a treat if you’re good.” I said and he smiled brightly at me. 

“Otay Mommy!” He said and walked over to me. I picked him and and lightly tickled his stomach. He giggled and pushed my hands away. 

“Let’s get your shoes on.” I said and walked to the front door. I sat him on the little bench near the door and helped him put his shoes on. 

“Do you want me to carry you or do you wanna walk to the car?” I asked.

“Walk!” He said and I nodded. I helped him hop off the bench and opened the door for him. He walked out and I turned to lock the door. 

“Pencer!” I heard Cameron shout and his little footsteps running off. I turned my head and saw him running towards our neighbor, Spencer. Cameron ran right up to him and hugged his leg, making Spencer look down at him. 

“Hi.” Cameron said with his adorably goofy grin.

“Hey, Cameron.” Spencer said kneeling to his level. I quickly locked the door and rushed over to them. 

“Cameron! I’ve told you not to just run off without me.” I said and he just smiled at me. 

“But Pencer home.” He said and I gave Spencer a sheepish smile. Spencer stood up and Cameron walked over to my side, holding my hand. Spencer studied my face and his brows furrowed. He looked me over completely and cleared his throat. 

“Are you alright, Y/N?” He asked and I forced a smile that I really hoped looked genuine. 

“I’m fine. Cameron and I are just going grocery shopping since Chris is coming home tomorrow…” I said and he raised a brow. 

“I-I don’t want to seem rude, but what happened to your cheek?” He asked and I felt my heart skip a beat and my eyes involuntarily widened a bit. 

“Oh nothing, I just fell in the shower last night.” I said with a nervous laugh. Spencer stepped a bit closer and I flinched. I silently cursed myself for reacting when I knew Spencer would never hurt me. He was always so sweet, even if we didn’t talk a lot. He wasn’t home a lot and we simply had some small talk when we did see each other in the hallway. Cameron loved seeing him though, he always thought Spencer was cool. 

“Who did this to you?” He asked in a whisper. I bit my lip and looked down at Cameron who was still smiling up at us. He didn’t hear Spencer. 

“Spencer…” I whispered and shook my head. He looked down at Cameron and knelt down. 

“Hey Cameron, have you ever seen an abacus?” He asked and Cameron looked at him confused. He shook his head and looked up at me. 

“It’s an old calculator.” Spencer said, but he still looked confused. 

“It’s helps people count.” I said. 

“Oh! No.” Cameron said. 

“Why don’t you and your Mom come inside and I can show you?” Spencer asked and looked up at me. 

“Can we Mommy?” He asked. 

“Uh, we should really go get the groceries.” I said and Cameron frowned. He gave me those adorable little puppy eyes and I sighed. I knew Spencer was just trying to distract my son so he could get some answers out of me. 

“I-I guess a minute wouldn’t hurt…” I said and Cameron lit up. 

“Yay! Fank you Mommy!” He said and hugged my leg. Spencer opened his apartment and Cameron rushed inside. Spencer motioned me to follow him and I hesitantly walked inside. It was very neat and there were books everywhere. Spencer placed his bags near the door and locked it. Cameron was picking up a book and looking it over. I walked over to him and gently took it out of his hands. 

“We don’t pick up other people’s things without asking them, baby.” I said and he frowned. 

“Sworry Mommy…” He said. 

“It’s alright, he can look at it if he’d like.” Spencer said. Cameron smiled and I handed the book back to him. 

“There aren’t any pictures so I don’t think you’ll enjoy it very much.” Spencer chuckled. Cameron frowned and put the book back where he found it. 

“Can I see the abracadabra?” He asked and we both laughed a little. 

“Abacus, baby.” I said and he looked at me confused. I shook my head and kissed his forehead. Spener walked into another room and came out with a very nice-looking abacus. He placed it on his coffee table and motioned Cameron over. He walked over and looked in awe of the beads. 

“See you just move them up and down like this.” Spencer showed him. 

“Each bead represents one and each row is a different place value and you just-” 

“Spencer.” I cut him off and he looked up at me. 

“He’s five. He’s not going to understand.” I said with a small smile and Spencer blushed. 

“Right, sorry. Cameron, why don’t you play with this for a bit while I talk to your mom?” He asked and Cameron nodded with a huge smile. He was moving the beads and just having fun counting them. Spencer stood up and walked towards me. He motioned to the other side of the room and I glanced at my son. 

“Be gentle, baby. Don’t break it, okay?” I said and Cameron nodded. I sighed and walked over to Spencer while keeping my eyes on my son. 

“Who did this, Y/N?” He asked. I was so scared to tell him. I never wanted anyone to see me at my lowest, besides Spencer probably has his own shit to deal with. 

“Spencer…” I sighed and shook my head. I looked at him and it was clear he knew something was wrong. He saw my bruises that were way too dark still to cover. He probably saw the way I tensed up when he stepped closer to me. 

“I can help you, Y/N. I work for the FBI, if someone is hurting you I can help.” He said and my eyes widened. 

“Y-You work for the FBI?” I asked and he nodded. 

“Hold on.” He said. He walked over to his bag by the door and came back after he found something. He held out his badge and I carefully took it. 

‘BAU SPECIAL AGENT Dr. Spencer Reid’ I read and looked back up at him. 

“I-I can’t tell you… He’ll kill me, or my son, or both of us. I don’t have anywhere else to go and I don’t have enough money to leave him. He’s in control of everything…” I whispered as a tear fell down my cheek. 

“Hey slow down, I’ll help you. I promise I’ll help you, my team will help you, but I need you to tell me who’s doing this to you.” He said and I shook my head. We both knew who I was talking about but Spencer needed me to say it. I flinched as I heard my phone ring and quickly dug through my purse to find it. Once I pulled it out my throat tightened. Chris was calling me. It was probably because I told him I was going to get groceries, but was still in our apartment building… My hands started shaking and Spencer gently took my phone for me. He looked at who was calling and saw it was Chris. He looked in my eyes and probably could see just how scared I was. 

“Y/N I need you to say his name if I’m going to help you.” He said. I bit my lip and stared at him as the phone slowly went silent. There was ding after ding, signaling Chris was texting me. I gulped and took a deep breath. 

“I-It’s C-Chris… He hits me, that’s why we moved here…” I admitted quietly. 

“Does he hit Cameron?” He asked and I shook my head. He nodded and looked over at my son.

“Why don’t you go sit with Cameron? I’m gonna go call my boss and we’ll get this sorted.” He said and I nodded. Spencer walked into the other room and I took a seat on the couch as I watched Cameron play. He turned to look at me and his smile fell. 

“What’s wrong Mommy?” He asked and walked over to me. 

“Nothing baby, Mommy just got something in her eye.” I said and forced a smile. He didn’t look totally convinced, but it worked for now. He turned to play with the abacus more and showed me how well he could count. 

It wasn’t long before Spencer walked back in and sat next to me. He still had my phone, but I guess he turned it on silent. 

“Hey Cameron, how would you like to go visit the FBI office?” He asked and I looked at him with wide eyes. 

“Yeah! Please, Mommy?” He asked. Spencer gave me a small nod and a reassuring smile. 

“S-Sure baby…” I said and he jumped with joy. Cameron rushed to the door, but before I could scold him Spencer gently placed a hand on mine. I didn’t flinch. 

“Do you know if he’s tracking your car?” He asked and I shook my head. 

“I-I don’t know… m-maybe?” I said and he nodded. 

“Okay, then you need to drive your car and follow me. I’ll keep your phone so you don’t need to worry about whatever he’s saying, okay?” He said and I nodded. 

“Come on, Mommy!” Cameron called. I got up and scooped him into my arms. 

“I can walk Mommy.” He said and I smiled. 

“I know, baby, but I just want to hold you right now.” I said. We waited for Spencer to lock his door before we all headed down to the garage. I placed Cameron into his car seat and he was very excited to go see the FBI office. I wish it wasn’t because his Father is a monster, but he didn’t need to know that. I kissed his head and shut the door. I turned to find Spencer standing there watching us with a smile. 

“Just follow me.” He said and I nodded. He stepped closer to me and gently grabbed my hand. 

“I promise me and my team will keep the two of you safe.” He said and I nodded. 

We each got in our cars and I filled the ride with Cameron’s favorite songs. He was singing and smiling the whole way there. Cameron was the only thing keeping me from breaking down right now. The ride to the office building wasn’t horribly long and I parked right next to Spencer. He gave me another reassuring smile and led the way up to the BAU. When we got off the elevator he led us inside and Cameron was looking around in awe. We walked through some glass doors and into a room filled with desks and a few private offices. 

“Hey, pretty boy!” A man called and Spencer looked over at him. The man walked up to us and set his eyes on me.

“Oh and who might this be?” He asked with a smirk. 

“This is my neighbor, Y/N, and her son Cameron. Y/N, this is Derek Morgan.” Spencer introduced us. I noticed him stare at my cheek and I glanced away slightly. 

“It’s nice to meet you.” I said. 

“Reid.” A man with a deep voice said. Spencer and I both looked at him and he was dressed in a suit. His face was hard and I couldn’t read any emotions from him. He motioned to another room. Spencer nodded and looked back at me. 

“Maybe Cameron should hang out with one of my team members?” He suggested. I held him a little tighter and Spencer could tell I was scared. Spencer came closer and leaned next to my ear.

“Do you want him to hear everything we need to know?” He whispered and I gulped. Spencer pulled back and I gave him a small nod. 

“I can watch him.” A blonde girl said with a kind smile. 

“Y/N, Cameron, this is JJ.” Spencer introduced. I placed Cameron down and knelt down. 

“Can you be good for Miss. JJ?” I asked and he nodded. 

“You can just call me JJ.” She said and I nodded. 

“Okay, I’m gonna be in that room over there with Spencer if you need me okay?” I said and he nodded. 

“Otay Mommy!” He said and walked over to JJ. 

“Do you catch bad people?” He asked and she smiled. 

“Yeah, we do.” She said as she took him over to a desk. I got up and smiled. Spencer gently nudged me and I looked over at him. He motioned me to go ahead and I followed the emotionless man into the room. It had a small couch against the wall and a round table in front of a TV. Spencer closed the door after him and the man pulled the curtains closed. 

“Y/N, this is my boss.” Spencer said. 

“Aaron Hotchern.” The man said and held his hand out. I took it and gave him a sheepish smile. 

“Please, take a seat.” He motioned to the couch and I sat down. Spencer sat next to me. Aaron sat in one of the chairs in front of us. 

“Now, Reid informed me that your husband abuses you and keeps track of you?” He asked and I nodded. 

“He’s been blowing up her phone, Sir.” Spencer said and passed him my phone. Aaron scrolled through my phone and his eyes hardened. 

“He’s threatening your life and the life of your son.” He said and my heart skipped a beat. 

“Please, you can’t let him hurt Cameron.” I begged, letting a few tears slip. Spencer held my hand and gently squeezed. 

“We won’t let him hurt either of you.” He said and Aaron nodded. 

“Can you tell me how long this has been going on?” Aaron asked. 

“About a year. It started maybe a month after Cameron turned four? We moved here because I-I couldn’t hide the bruises as well anymore and Chris didn’t want to get caught…” I whispered. Aaron and Spencer shared a look before Aaron got up. 

“I’ll be right back.” He said and left the room. 

“What’s he going to do, Spencer?” I asked. 

“He’s going to talk to the rest of the team and we’re going to help you.” He said and my eyes widened. 

“Don’t worry, JJ won’t let Cameron hear anything. I promise.” He said and I nodded but bit my lip. 

“Did you know more than 50% of domestic violence incidents go unreported?” He asked and I looked at him confused. 

“W-What?” I asked. 

“It’s because they’re scared of their partner.” He said. 

“Why are you telling me this?” I asked. 

“Because you’re being strong by letting us help. You told me when you really didn’t have to. You could have just picked Cameron up and walked off to the grocery store and pretended nothing ever happened. You could have stayed scared and continued being with Chris. But here you are.” He said and I stared at him in awe. 

“I-I still am scared.” I said and he smiled. 

“I know, but that’s okay.” He said. 

“Why did you decide to help me? You could have just ignored us too.” I asked and his smile grew a bit. 

“It’s my job to help people, I was on my way to work anyway.” He said and I actually giggled. 

“Well thank you. I owe you big time.” I said and he shook his head. 

“Y/N, it’s my job. You don’t owe me anything.” He said. 

“Well, I’d still like to thank you somehow, maybe if I get some money back I can buy you dinner?” I asked and he blushed. 

“U-Uh you don’t…” He cleared his throat. 

“You don’t have to do that.” He said and I smiled. 

“But I’d like to. If you can save me and Cameron from what Chris has become, then I’d really like to thank you somehow.” I said and he slowly nodded. 

“I-I think this is the first time I’ve really seen you smile. I’ve noticed how they all looked forced, but I just assumed it was from work stress or from taking care of a small child.” He said and I blushed. 

“Cameron is the only thing that makes me smile anymore. Well that and you helping us.” I said. The door opened and a blonde girl with an interesting-looking dress, along with a black-haired woman, walked in and Aaron followed after her. He shut the door and she sat down right next to me. Aaron sat in the chair and the black-haired woman sat next to him. 

“Don’t you worry about a thing sweetie! We are going to take good care of you and that little bundle of joy out there. I’m going to hack into that tracker he has on your phone and Morgan is searching your car to see if he’s tracking that too. Then I’m going to work some of my magic and get you back in control of your accounts and you’ll be right as rain!” She said in an extremely happy tone. I stared at her with wide eyes and looked over at Spencer. He nodded with a smile and I looked back towards the girl. 

“T-Thank you… You can really do all that?” I asked and she smiled. 

“Of course I can! I’m a tech wizard!” She said and I smiled. I couldn’t stop myself from hugging her. 

“Thank you so much, uh…” I said with more tears falling. She returned the hug and rubbed my back. 

“Penelope. Right well. I’m going to go be your fairy godmother now. You’re in great hands.” She said and winked at Spencer. He blushed and she left the room. 

“Y/N.” Aaron said, and I looked over at him and the woman. 

“This is Agent Emily Prentiss.” He introduced. I wiped my eyes and smiled. 

“Hi Y/N, I’m going to need to ask you about what Chris did.” She said as she pulled out a notepad. I took a deep breath and nodded. 

“Okay, I need you to tell me everything he did in as much detail as you can. I’ll also need to take pictures of the bruises without makeup.” She said and I cringed a little. No one really knows how bad they were. 

“O-Okay.” I said. 

“We can take you to the hospital and make sure there isn’t more serious damage.” Aaron said. 

“Oh no, that’s okay.” I said. 

“We need to, Y/N, for the report.” Spencer said and I gulped. 

“Cameron can’t see, Spencer…” I said. 

“Do you have anyone you trust to watch him?” He asked and I shook my head. 

“Both my parents are dead, I don’t have any siblings, and my friends are all friends with Chris… I told you, I’m alone in this.” I said, a tear slipping down my cheek. 

“I can’t lose him, Spencer…” I said, more tears falling. 

“Hey, you won’t lose him, okay? I can see if JJ can watch him, she has kids his age.” He said and I bit my lip. 

“That’s too much I can’t ask that.” I said. 

“Y/N, we really need to take you to the hospital.” He said. His sweet, kind eyes were begging me to agree. 

“We need to make sure there isn’t more serious damage.” He added. 

“T-There is…” I whispered. 

“Y/N, I need you to tell me everything.” Emily said. I took a deep breath and looked up at her. I saw my phone light up and his name flash on the screen. I gulped and Aaron picked up the phone to look at it. 

“I know this will be hard, but I need you to talk to him. Can you do that?” He asked and my eyes widened. 

“Hotch, you can’t ask her to do that. She’s terrified.” Spencer said. The phone stopped ringing and Aaron sighed. 

“He’s going to call back, let me get Garcia and she can track it.” He said and left the room. 

“B-But he’s out of the state, he’s not coming back until tomorrow.” I said confused. 

“He could have come back early.” Emily said and I felt my throat tighten. My breathing became heavy and I felt a strong need to get Cameron and run as far as we could. 

“Hey Y/N, it’s okay, you’re safe here. Just breath.” Spencer said and gently turned my head to face him. 

“H-He’ll kill us…” I whispered in a shaky breath. 

“No, we won’t let him, just take a deep breath.” He said and took an exaggerated breath. I tried to follow him and eventually calmed down by the time Aaron and Penelope returned. She sat down and opened her laptop. 

“Alright, next time he calls I’ll be able to know exactly where he is. 

“You need to keep him talking for as long as possible,” Emily said as she moved to sit next to me. I nodded and my phone lit up again. Chris. My hands were shaking and I felt Spencer place his hand on my thigh. 

“It’s okay, he can’t hurt you here.” He said and I nodded. I took a deep breath and answered the phone, putting it on speaker. 

“Hey, honey.” I said, trying to sound as normal as possible. 

“Where the hell are you? You said you were going to the grocery store and now I can’t see where the fuck you are.” He growled. 

“I was just taking Cameron to the park first.” I said, hoping my lie sounded convincing. 

“You didn’t fucking ask permission to go to the fucking park! You probably left our son at him by himself and went to go get fucked like the stupid whore you are!” He shouted. 

“No, Chris I-” 

“Shut your fucking mouth! I’m going to fucking kill you and find a proper bitch to take care of MY son.” He said and hung up. I dropped my phone and started breaking down. Spencer wrapped an arm around me and gently rubbed me up and down. 

“Garcia, anything?” Aaron asked. 

“He’s on the highway, it looked like he’s going to her phone's last location which is-” 

“Here…” I whispered. I quickly stood up and headed for the door. 

“Y/N, where are you going?” Spencer asked, following me to the door. 

“Home.” I answered and went to open the door, but Spencer stopped me. 

“He said he’d kill you.” He said and I sighed. 

“He’s said it before and hasn’t done it. He’ll just hit me.” I said and Spencer shook his head. 

“I can’t just let you leave and go back to that. He came home early all because you didn’t go to the grocery store. You don’t know when he’ll snap.” He said and I shook my head. 

“What if today’s the day that he hits Cameron?” He asked and I turned to face him. 

“I would never let that happen.” I said and he sighed. 

“Please, Y/N, we can help you.” He said and I dropped my hand from the handle. 

“I-I have pictures… of what he did to me…” I said and they all looked at me. 

“Where are they?” Emily asked. 

“My phone, in a hidden folder.” I said. She picked it and and started looking for it. 

“Hotch.” She said and showed him the phone. He nodded and looked over at us. 

“Y/N, you and your son need to stay here. If your husband is really coming to try and kill you then this is the safest place. Is Morgan still searching her car?” He asked Penelope. 

“Yes Sir.” She answered. 

“Good, I’ll let him know Chris is on his way and we can meet him down there.” He said and Emily nodded. 

“Reid, you can stay up here with Y/N.” He said and Spencer nodded. They all left the room and it was just Spencer and myself. 

“W-What about Cameron?” I asked. 

“JJ will watch him still, Hotch won’t let him know anything.” He said and I nodded. 

“I want to see him. I need to hold my baby, Spencer.” I said. 

“You will okay? Just calm down a bit.” He said and gently pulled me in for a hug. 

“Just breath, Y/N. Then I’ll go get Cameron and you can hold him as much as you want.” He said, rubbing my back. It took me a little bit, but I managed to calm down. Spencer was a huge help and I pulled back, smiling at him. I wiped my tears and reached into my purse to check that the makeup was still in place. Thank God most of it was and I just had to fix it a little bit. 

“Let me go get Cameron.” Spencer said and walked out of the room. I closed my eyes and tried my best to keep my breathing normal. 

“You’re safe here.” Spencer’s words repeated in my head. 

“We’re safe here.” I whispered to myself. 

The door opened and I looked over to see Cameron laughing as Spencer tickled his side. I smiled and the sight made my heart skip a beat. Spencer was such a good person. Cameron looked over at me and his smile only grew. 

“Mommy!” He said and squirmed in Spencer’s hold. Spencer let him go and he ran up to me. I pulled him onto my lap and hugged him tightly. 

“Mommy, too tight…” He mumbled and I pulled back a bit. 

“Sorry baby.” I said and he looked at me confused. 

“What’s wrong, Mommy?” He asked and I shook my head. 

“Nothing baby, everything is gonna be okay.” I said and kissed his head. I looked up at Spencer and he nodded at me. Everything is gonna be okay.

[thecoolerliauditore]

Sorry, not-so-amicable-exes anon here again just cause I saw your big toxic fh breakdown post again cause a friend wanted to read it and we were tlking about it- unimportant, sorry, we just had a thought. Because I've seen some anti-toxic shippers act like this interpretation is out of spite or some intentional thing shippers of other jimmy ships made up (specifically ranchers usually), but the timeline and accusation is all wrong. Like I don't remember ever seeing anyone even talk about this interpretation until post-liml? And it was very hesitantly and apologetically. There was a fic or two before this but most people even the people who enjoyed it expressed discomfort or concern at its existence and that's how most people react to them even to this day.

But I remember when I saw that first post I was like, "Oh thank god, someone else also thought that!" It felt like before that there was scenes in their POV that only happened when I watched 3l because no one talked about them, or wrote them very differently to what happened. And I saw some other people saying the same thing. I think the post even got deleted a few days later, too. It seemed to me like a lot of people had quietly independantly come up with the interpretation as far back as 3l itself, but stayed quiet until recently to avoid upsetting anyone or we all thought we were the only ones who saw it that way. I know I tend to hesitate to write characters negatively because it feels a bit wrong to do that when the ccs are friends, even if I think it would be interesting. I wonder how many people feel that way also?

But I guess what I mean to say is it seems to me that a lot of people independantly have been thinking it since 3l or ll and the only reason it started popping up in dl is because it was the next big Jimmy ship from the big shipping season, and people werent really willing to even talk about it for a whole other season because they were scared of being seen as negative.

But!! I just really think it's neat, I really like this narrative for Scott and Jimmy. It's rare to be able to get stories where people have problems and break up and move on to new relationships and grow from them. It makes sense because they're the first season couple and they've grown further and further apart as seasons go on.

Even people I see who don't like fh don't seem to WANT to talk about it, they only bring it up when asked, and try to be respectful. Maybe I've not seen something happening somewhere else? I just wish I didn't have to spend most of my energy when writing quadruple checking that I'm not making Scott a bad guy and emphasising Jimmy's faults just so people reading know for certain I'm writing it this way because I'm legitimately interested in exploring this interpretation of them, and I'm not one of "those" writers. But I'm starting to wonder how many of "those" writers there actually are. (At the risk of comparing petty fandom drama to a serious topic, but it feels a lot like I'm back on 2016 tumblr assuring people I'm not one of "those" enbies or "those" aces, trying not to get pushed out.)

I'm guessing anyone who doesn't care for toxic fh probably already has you blocked, but if there is anyone like that who does see this: Hi! I also love flower husbands a lot! They just aren't my fluffy comfort ship, I like headcanoning them as divorced and imperfect because I think it makes them more interesting to write. I love being able to write characters who don't find the love of their life immediately but each relationship still shapes them into a new person. Sometimes I like to imagine their relationship as more mild and silly, and sometimes more dramatic and intense, I'm not a one-headcanon person! But their divorce is what really inspired me about them so I like writing about it. I don't want to stop anyone from enjoying them how they enjoy them and have no interest in making people who would be upset by my content to read it, so I try to tag it correctly! I'd like to be able to write my stories without walking on eggshells wondering if someone thinks I only wrote something I worked really hard on and cared a lot about just to spite them or because I'm secretly homophobic while writing about men kissing, just because my interpretation is different. It makes me scared to put Scott in my fics at all and contributed to my writers block for fics with them in it. I think Scott gets treated unfairly by certain people too, but that's not what I'm trying to do, I wouldn't write about him if I did!

(Also sorry if my paragraphs are strange, I'm not used to writing on mobile or pouring my thoughts out.)

Hi hello welcome back!! Please don't apologize I love long asks, especially long asks about scott smahor. The fact that you pulled up that toxic fh post and read it with a friend is so funny to me. Looking back, I wish I'd planned it out better and wrote it more eloquently, but I'm glad it brings people some sense of joy/entertainment/understanding. I hope you and your friend enjoyed it, even in an ironic sense.

It's endlessly entertaining (and fascinating) to me personally how every toxic fh believer seems to undergo the same-ish pipeline of watching the fh pov and being horrified --> looking at fanon fh and disengaging out of fear --> finding other toxic fh posters in the wild and suddenly realising you're not insane after all. I know I personally went into scott's pov expecting wholesomeness and ended up wide-eyed at what I saw before proceeding to slink FH into the back of my mind for awhile.

People tend to believe others operate like they do and I think that's where a lot of the discourse originates. Most of the louder voices I've seen that are very against the toxic interpretation are from people who primarily engage in bending the characters to fit specific concepts i.e. the "toxic jimmy" brainstorm that happened awhile back on here where interpretation is less a study and more confirmation bias-ing your way into making an idea work. Which I must reiterate is completely awesome because we're making fanfics here not nukes. But this leads people to assume that everyone who writes about toxic fh is going in with the mindset of "how do i interpret these moments so that scott is an abuser" and not "wow that thing i just watched sure kind of felt like domestic abuse"

Which like. YEAH, if there was a theoretical group of people who went out of their way to interpret everything scott did ever as evil and irredeemable, I too would assume that they had it out for the guy. But that's not what's happening, usually, afaik (at least on here, twitter's situation is a bit different due to the culture and would be its own beast for me to dissect and I honestly don't spend enough time on there to really feel confident making any statement).

For the record, I think a lot of people are on the same boat regarding FH being toxic and just simply don't care enough to voice/explore it, don't want to deal with the fandom nonsense that comes with it or would simply rather shift focus onto other pairs with similar themes. i.e. there is something going on with the toxic fh believer/ethubs shipper overlap I just know there is if anyone would like to do science with me it'd be awesome.

I know that I definitely focused my sights more on Scott and Pearl's relationship following my "wow that was sure something" watchthrough of scott's series, which is ironic considering I now base alot of my thoughts about their dynamic on scott's previous relationship with jimmy.

I think there's like. Something about the DL Pearl fans and the ranchers fans specifically who tended to communicate in code re: Scott's toxicity because for a long time all of us were afraid of saying it outright. So you get a lot of posts where Scott is like. A vaguely unpleasant force in the narrative while not really being a main focus himself, which I think may have contributed to the "ranchers fans only view scott as the villainous ex to push their ship harder" argument that I've seen a lot.

Once I realised from that one Shepscapades comic that there were others who saw the same plot I did, I would go out fishing for signs of agreement/acknowledgement. Hybbat if you're reading this, take this as my apology for sending you anon asks back in the day essentially trying to bait you into posting more FH slander, there was something deeply wrong with me (there still is, I'm just more upfront about it now I think).

There's also just this very like.. us vs them mentality very apparent in the way people talk about The Discourse that kinda sucks. Weirdly enough it's kind of shifted from toxic fh vs healthy fh to fh vs ranchers (or any other jimmy ship for that matter) nowadays. I can't talk on 2016 tumblr but regarding your last point (which I know isn't directed towards me but I think it's worth saying) -- would it matter if you Were one of THOSE fh writers? (or one of THOSE aces or THOSE enbies for that matter). You're not but like. Would it?

(side note rhetorical question do not answer i dont want to know but wtf did the aces/enbies even do lmao)

Not to get too away from the discourse cus I do my fair share of glazing on this blog already, but yes yes yes big agree on fh's storyline being amazing!! I love that we essentially watch them both have to live on after their mutually life-changing marriage.

Scott especially I love because in a lot of stories that feature an abuser they're painted as entirely evil and oftentimes disappear from the story once the relationship is over, but Scott doesn't and will never go anywhere. He's forced to grapple with his previous actions and the destructive way he thinks about himself and relationships has and continues to damage both himself and the people he loves. Just like how irl even when we wish abusers would just "go away" they will still continue being living people as they've always been, not a concept that will simply perish once you overcome the trauma. I love abusive characters who are fully written as human and think they're important. Is all.

[mickeyswhore]

Complicated Arrangement

A/N: Someone stop me from writing for Thomas Shelby, lol.

Summary: You are Thomas Shelby's sugar baby, you fell in love with him and now you're in trouble.

Thomas Shelby x Reader

Warnings: daddy kink, smut, use of Y/N (but only twice), modern!Thomas Shelby.

Tag: @mrkdvidal1989.

You had everything you ever wanted, money, gifts, a great apartment, your grades were great, there was one problem, your heart. Thomas was pretty specific with you when he asked you to be his sugar baby, you could hear his voice saying it to you, every time you saw him sleeping, and every time he did something that made your heart swell.

“Don’t fall in love with me.”

You agreed, because you needed the money and you never thought that you could fall in love with Thomas Shelby, he was cold, distant, but none of that stopped you from loving him. Thomas insisted on having separate apartments, you thought it was a good thing, since you wanted your privacy. And now, you were hiding from him, and you weren’t supposed to do that, even if the both of you didn't meet in person, he insisted that you never kept anything from him, but how could you talk to him when you disobeyed his rule? It wasn’t like the times when you were bratty, just to have his attention, you would lose Tommy forever if you talked to him about that, so you were ghosting for a week.

Thomas was deeply concerned with your lack of news and updates, so he decided to stop by at your apartment, so he could see you, he was missing you like crazy, your voice, your soft skin, your whimpers and moans, everything about you intoxicating for him. He even considered the possibility of you finding someone else, but he was adamant with you, he did not share, especially you.

You were now at your apartment, studying for the finals, you were really stressed out, not because of the finals, but because of Thomas, you needed him, but you were scared that you were going to tell him everything, about your feelings. You heard a knock on the door, it was probably the delivery man, bringing your pizza. You opened the door, and you gasped, there was Thomas Shelby, looking as handsome as always, and with a hungry look on his face.

“You didn't called me, you didn't text me, what’s going on, Y/N?” You knew he wasn’t mad, just concerned, because he never called you by your name, only nicknames.

“It’s nothing, I’m really sorry, I should’ve called you, I’m just studying for the finals.” Thomas knew that was a lie, because he could read you like anyone else, and he knew that you were hiding something.

“That’s not it, there’s something else, tell me.” He smiled, and you signed, you couldn’t tell him.

“It’s nothing, I have to study.” You tried to shut the door, but he stopped you.

“Are you trying to get rid of me, baby?” He was using that voice, the voice that brought the submissive in you.

“No, Daddy. But I really need to study.” You said, and Thomas smirked.

“Good, because you’ve been a very bad girl, ignoring Daddy, you need to be punished, kitten.” He entered your apartment and sat on the couch, smirking the whole time.

“Go to the bedroom, and I want to see you laying in bed, naked, waiting for Daddy.” You nodded and went to the bedroom, despite being scared of telling him how you really feel, you needed him, more than anything.

You quickly took off your clothes and laid on the bed, waiting for Ivar, you were getting anxious, every minute felt like hours. Thomas opened the door, and sat on the bed, he was devouring you with his eyes, you could feel yourself aroused, just by his predatory gaze.

“What should I do with you? There’s so many possibilities, I could bring you to the edge over and over again, or I could make you cum until you pass out, or I could just tease you enough and then leave, so many things I can do to you, little one.” The whole time Tommy was caressing your body his hand, your thighs, your stomach, your arms.

“Please, don’t tease me, Daddy.” You whimpered, and Thomas stopped, he got close to your ear.

“But you need to be punished, kitten.” He whispered, and you bite your lip, looking at him with pleading eyes.

“Please, I need you, Daddy.” He growled, you knew that he couldn’t resist you.

“Alright, kitten.” He sat next to you, and started to run his fingers in your thighs, slowly, you opened your legs to give him more access, making him chuckle.

“Such a good girl.” He praised, and licked the shell of your ear, making you whimper.

“You’re gonna keep your eyes on me all the time, kitten.” You nodded and Thomas slapped your clit, lightly. “I need words, little one.” He kissed your neck and down to your collarbone.

“Yes, Daddy.” He seemed pleased with your response, and started to make small and slow circles on your clit, you gasped at the contact.

“Does that feel good, kitten?” His eyes were on you all the time, you couldn’t look away.

“Yes, it feels so good, Daddy.” Your breath was more erratic, Thomas loved seeing you like this.

“Do you want me to fuck this pretty little pussy of yours?” His movements on your clit were faster, bringing you closer to your orgasm.

“Yes, please fuck me with your fingers, Daddy.” He inserted two fingers inside you, his movements were fast, the only sounds in the room were your moans and the pornografic sounds that Thomas was drawing out of you.

“You’re so good to me, you’re gonna cum on my fingers?” He whispered in your ear, his hot breath and his voice were all it took to bring you to the edge.

You came on his fingers, you grabbed his arm and squeezed.

“Do you want my cock, buried deep inside your pussy? Do you want that, kitten?” He took off his shirt, and he was unbuttoning his pants.

“Yes, fuck me, Daddy. Please.” You said, biting your lip, he growled.

“I’m gonna ruin you, baby.” He put his cock on your entrance, teasing you.

“Don’t tease, please.” You begged, and Thomas slammed his cock inside you, not giving you time to adjust to his size, his pace was brutal, animalistic, and you loved that.

“D-daddy.” You moaned, so lost in pleasure. You wrapped your legs around his waist, Thomas started to hit your g-spot repeatedly, you were getting close again.

“I’m so close, Daddy.” You whispered.

“Cum all over my cock, kitten.” He encouraged you, after a few more thrusts, you came again, and Thomas came right after you.

He cuddled with you, and he kept saying that you were amazing, whispering sweet nothings on your ear.

“Now you’re gonna tell me what’s bothering you?” He asked, and tensed.

“I can’t, Tommy.” You tried to leave, but he didn't let you.

“Tell me, you can tell me anything, little one.” He encouraged you.

“Thomas, I love you.” You closed your eyes, you didn't want to see the disapproving look on his handsome face, when he didn't said anything, you turned around and saw him smiling.

“Thank God, I thought I was the only one.” You frowned.

“What are you talking about?” He laughed, and kissed your hand.

“Baby, I fell in love with you, for a very long time, I just didn't have the guts to tell you.” You smiled at him. “Wait, is that the reason you’ve been avoiding me?” You nodded.

 “I love you, Y/N.” He kissed you, gently.

“I love you too, Tommy.” The both of you laughed.

[deadrlngers]

oc deep dive

i was tagged by @devilbrakers and @ruvviks thank you both soso much <3

tagging (no pressure): @marictheirins @mojaves @lucaanis @faarkas @kibellah @risingsh0t @pawnguild @baelavelaryon @ncytiri @tethrras @aezyrraesh and anyone else that would like to do this!!

What common/uncommon fear do they have?

Abandonment. Her own mother left her when she was nothing but a child so it got ingrained into her system that something about her isn’t right or enough, or both, to make people stick around in the long run.

Forgetting or in general losing her memory. This is mainly a repercussion of what she went through with the relic and Johnny. Basically the idea of missing pieces and bits of her life terrifies her. That leads to the fear of losing her identity, losing herself basically. Who am i? Who was i before this? Am i still myself? etc etc

The ocean. She’s not exactly scared of water (she actually has no problem with swimming or pools for example) but very large bodies of water that she can’t see the end of unsettle her. Also needles don’t really make her feel...relaxed.

Do they have any pet peeves?

Vesper HATES being bossed around, she’s the one bossing around others and she likes to keep it that way lmao

Slow drivers make her road rage explode which is already hanging by a thin thread in a city like night city. Loud chewing/people who eat with their mouth open irk her, it might even make her too disgusted to keep on eating herself.

Being touched by strangers and people she doesn’t know well. Being lied to grinds her balls into dust, especially when the other person knows she’s aware of their lies but they keep on playing the part (this is basically Fenix, sorry).

People that are too passive and don’t take action and sit on the possibilities for too long; she hates waiting around and prefers action to inaction.

Dare i say rich people? But more in the sense of...she’s annoyed by very big displays of wealth. She grew up almost into poverty so she’s very prejudiced towards anyone that instead grew up wealthy (<her own brother for example AND step-siblings). When she hears people mindlessly talk about money Vesper is very quick to judge them as “out of touch with reality”.

What are three items you can find in their bedroom?

Cigarettes, empty packs included because she forgets to throw them away and sometimes she stores things inside the packs like lighters and other small objects (and forgets about them too...)

At least one gun near her nightstand, just to be safe.

Lots of polaroids, mostly taken by someone else and gifted to her. Some date back to her teenage years, some are with old friends no longer in her life, others see her and Fenix back when they first dated. She cares about one that portrays her and Daniel during a dinner most of all: since they grew up separated, that's the very first photo she has with her brother.

What do they notice first in a person?

Demeanor and...their ego, if it makes sense. If their self-esteem or sense of self-importance is sky high she will notice immediately (and already settle on disliking them). Vesper likes confidence, she’s attracted to it, but overdoing it breaks the spell.

Then their intentions–are they here to talk? Attack? Flirt? Ask questions? Basically she’s already scanning for hints that will tell her why they decided to approach her. Body language is a big one as well. Then eyes and smell, if they are close enough.

A beautiful, charming smile catches her eye immediately.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance?

Physically: 9. She wasn’t called the iron maiden for nothing during her boxing days. She can take one hell of a hard beating and still stay on her feet. It doesn’t help that she gets very careless with it at times and she pushes her body to the limit even when she’s already bleeding and in pain (the infamous Akira vs Vesper fight during Hanako’s kidnapping is a good example; Akira is a special trained soldier and has very expensive cyberware that specifically focuses on enhancing their physical strength. Suffice to say Fenix was K.O after a few hits while Vesper stood her ground and even inflicted a few serious hits to Akira. They might be enemies but Akira developed a sense of respect for Vesper after that).

Mentally: 8. Composed, resolved, focused–she doesn’t give a fuck about what you will say to her, quite honestly. Good luck trying to get through her. Vesper is pretty confident, the most you might get out of her is a scoff or a mocking smirk. Bark like a dog you are below me moron type of deal. Plus she went through some Shit her whole life, she’s kind of used to it by now. Also she firmly believes that she needs to be the real strength to her loved ones, too many people look up to her and she can’t allow any weakness.

Emotionally: 4. She tries to hold it together, thinks she’s not showing how upset or hurt she is but it’s very visible on her face. Her main issue is rage–and her first emotional reaction–so she tends to lash out very quickly. She tries to keep in control with the people she loves (and often fails when pushed too far) but she’s a complete tornado with the rest of the world. It’s hard to break through her shell and she doesn’t allow many to get to the core, her heart. Giving someone that much power over her emotions is something that scares her. If hurt by a loved one she will feel that deeply and for a long time…and she isn’t very fair with the making up afterwards.

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure? (Or freeze or fawn?)

In a hostile situation it’s fight, no doubt. She doesn’t shy away from a fight and prefers a physical resolution to mediation.

In any other situation i think maybe freeze, start a verbal fight most likely. She’s not really the type to fawn. More than freeze she shuts down completely and grows this incredibly thick second skin that doesn’t break under any pressure or hit, she will simply go silent and unresponsive.

What animal represents them best?

This is a difficult one for me but i’m going with an otter! A bit uncommon maybe but otters are fairly peaceful animals, some more solitary, but they can be aggressive when necessary and some tend to be territorial which is exactly how i perceive Vesper. Not a danger if you don’t bother her, but show yourself as a threat and she can get very hostile. Also i read somewhere otters love to cuddle, idk if it’s true but it would fit. Also Fenix has her contact saved as otter girl and sends her photos of otters and says “you” so i’m picking them.

How would a stranger likely describe them?

Intimidating. She’s 1.84m with wide shoulders and muscular arms, plus her expression (even when relaxed!) doesn’t look very friendly or approachable. Standoffish, stoic, distant, maybe a touch apathetic. Basically if you approach her you will feel like you are doing the mortal sin of bothering her and for that you will be sentenced to death. This idea can be quickly proved wrong, just please don’t bring to her stupid, time-wasting inquiries.

Interesting but reserved. And a presence that exudes safety also. If you are into the stoic type who doesn’t express much at first you will be naturally attracted to uncovering more of her.

Appearance wise people notice her physical presence, then the few scars on her face and the star tattoo right below her right eye. Also when she was younger she used to have gold fangs that naturally caught people’s eye. It’s not uncommon to see Vesper sporting a few bruises here and there so she’s either perceived as a troublemaker or the “too cool for me to approach” type. Depends on the stranger.

It’s very unlikely that she’d smile at a stranger but her smile would be described as beautiful. The little star tattoo makes the smile look all more warm when it reaches her eyes, the sensation is akin to looking at a twinkling star!!

Do they have any hobbies?

Partying (she’s surprisingly the right company you’d want to have fun with), dancing and specifically ballroom dance (latin mainly; bachata, cha cha cha etc etc), playing her bass guitar, listening to music, tinkering around with her motorbike and boxing. Even if she left that life behind her, Vesper still keeps exercising–both for its usefulness on her line of work and because it’s a great outlet for stress and anger.

Daniel is trying very hard to drag her into gaming, still a work in progress.

[gallus-rising]

mp100 horror fic recs 👻🎃

For a while now I've been thinking about mp100's amazing horror potential and how it really doesn't get enough attention. SO! For the spooky season why don't you settle down with a nice scary story ;D

All of these fics are complete and have no shipping. I've only linked 1 fic per author so this list doesn't get bloated, but all of these wonderful authors have other fics just waiting for you to read them ❤ Some definitely freaked me out more than others, but I'm not gonna give any particular ratings since "scary" is so subjective. All fics are properly tagged and you know your own limits better than I do.

Also feel free to add on your own recs!! My general reading preferences and parameters when making this list is only a small sampling, so please share any and all of your favs ❤ Hope you enjoy!

If you see an "N/A" instead of a Tumblr UN that means there wasn't one linked in either the fics' notes or author's bio. If you know the author or are the author yourself feel free to let me know so I can edit the post :] And now in no particular order I present:

The Immeasurable Dark: @tinkertoysdamn Immediately breaking my own "no ships" rule just this once because I can't resist a good House of Leaves inspired story! If you've read HoL is you know what's up. If not expect a fucked-up house and impossibly large spaces, funky text formatting and footnotes, maybe a minotaur. Ship featured is background established serirei.

a pilgrimage: @tooomuchtofu Divine Tree arc bad ending. Told from the PoV of an unnamed worshiper on their first visit to "the capital" aka an overgrown Seasoning City. Uses second person pov wonderfully to build the dread.

And Who Is Killing Me?: @sammisafetypin Koyama beats the shit outta Mob a little harder than in canon, hospitalizing him and delaying the 7th Division rescue arc by [TIME NOT FOUND]. The Awakening Lab kids are so minor I tend to forget they even exist, but oh my god does this author make you care about them! This fic is written with great suddenly swapping PoVs that keep you feeling off kilter without making you lose track of the story. It's the longest fic on this list by far but 100% worth every second of it. A real gut punch.

Adoration: (N/A) The Divine Tree takes a particular interest in Reigen. I don't think I've ever seen anyone properly touch on how creepy the Psycho Helm constructs themselves are like this fic has. God, those things freak me out so much. Features "shipping" in the sense of a sentient broccoli becoming fixated on a guy. Keep in mind that the Psycho Helms look like Mob if you think that'll squick you out, but for me personally it added to the horror.

Similarities: (N/A) Reigen receives a fucked up email. Ends on the sillier side, but BOY is that email fucked up!

The Water Ran Clean: @bandtrees A Mogami-mentors-Mob AU and a damn fine one at that. Love the sort of fragmented style it's written in, and the exploration of Mogami's fucked up moral code is great. There's some Choice viscerally described imagery here 👌👌 Features a drawing of Mob covered in blood just in case that freaks you out; but worry, it's not his :]

An Outlier Among a Sea of Common Denominators: @hebezunet A rewrite of the early Divine Tree arc that asks the question we've all been too scared to consider: What if the brainwashing was like cordyceps? In particular I want to highlight the opening scene where after eating the broccoli powder cookies Teru has to physically rip florets out of his body to resist being brainwashed. Very gnarly stuff.

Prison Surveillance: (N/A) Touichirou was a very bad boss so Hatori pulls a The Ring to torment him in Psychic Supermax Prison. Was written pre-season 3 so Hatori doesn't work for the government.

Stairs: (N/A) Reigen and Mob have a job in the woods. There are some stairs. Inspired by an r/nosleep story which the author links to if you'd like to check that out as well.

Fight, Flight, or Fraud: @cowardlybean So everyone's got a really specific supernatural fear, right? Something that could absolutely never happen in real life but when you see it in media it freaks you the fuck out? Mine is someone I know being killed and replaced by an evil doppelganger and I'm the only one who knows. I've not seen anything since The Magnus Archives that's properly captured that fear like this fic, which is some of the highest praise I can bestow.

In Quicksand: @ghoststrawberries Reigen catches a nasty cold and by that I mean he gets possessed. Very fun the way Reigen's train of thought and feeling shifts around as the evil spirit tries to influence him while he's unconsciously resisting it. The scene where the gang realizes Reigen's been possessed is a real "OOOOOH, SHIT!!!" moment, but I won't spoil ;D

Playing Human: (N/A) Espers and psychic powers might not be real but spirits are. Poor baby Mob is a ghost possessing his own dead body. Features Dimple as the bad guy.

Mithridatism: If I may be so self-indulgent to list one of my own fics here :3 Absorbing evil spirits while still alive was actively killing Mogami and I wanted to dig into that! Features my Signature™ (lol) "HEY, DON'T EAT THAT!!" style of body horror.

[seastarblue]

OC Ask Tag!

I got tagged by @rumeysawrites and @satohqbanana for this >:D

rules are simple enough: answer the three questions prev gave you, then give three more for the next person!

____

so I’ll do Satoh’s questions first; for Zenith, from TGS!

For what reason does your OC wake up everyday?

Zenith wakes up because they have a ship to run, duh 🙄. There’s money to make, ships to plunder, food (cooked by Amir) to eat!

Fortune, fame, or glory: which one would your OC choose?

Fortune, fortune, fortune! They wanna be so rich it disgusts even them.

What small material object of the past does your OC want to have again in the (near) future?

…they’d like to have their antler rings back. Come to think of it, they’d like to have the other half of their antlers back, too.

_____

and now for Rumeysa’s questions! I’ll answer for Arbor, from AGGTRG!

What keeps your OC up at night?

He can’t remember. And it scares him. Also he doesn’t sleep really 😔

What’s your OC’s music taste like? Any specific reasons for it?

Arbor would like most soft musics, I think. Like jazz, or classical, or indie farming sim OSTs!

If your OC wanted to swap lives with someone else they know, who would it be and why?

He’d like to know how a beating heart feels like so! Really anyone.

____

now as for your questions…

What’s one thing your OC can’t leave the house without?

What color do you associate your OC with and why?

According to you, what’s your OC’s best trait? Their worst?

and now the tag game list ^^

Lemme know if you’d like on/off via dm:

@sableglass @dioles-writes @viridis-icithus @allaboutmagic @paeliae-occasionally

@inky-anathemata @vsnotresponding @nightlylaments @ancientmyth

@thebookishkiwi @verdant-mainframe @threedaysgross @fifis-corner @bamber344

@seafloor509 @viwritesthings @abiteofhoney @rumeysawrites @pizzamanstan

@vesanal @an-indecisive-nerd @the-ellia-west

[bwabys-scenarios]

hii i really don’t mean this in a bad way! but i saw one of your posts taking about how you mostly write for chubby readers, and i really admire that. keep writing!

buutt, i just have a (not very) little question. one thing about me is that i really do not understand why people write for specially one type of person? like, i absolutely love the inclusivity and i love all your works, but why can’t everyone just write.. for y/n?? if that makes sense.

like, not describing the reader’s body, skin tone, or anything else like that. i’m not trying to tell you what to do or anything, but it’s just something i have been curious about for ages! and i’ve been too scared to ask on the notes because i don’t want anyone to think i’m being mean ( ´ ▽ ` )

basically, what i’m trying to ask is; is it bad that i would prefer if writers wrote for nobody in particular?

because i think that it’s so much easier, that way everybody can be happy without leaving one type of person out?

also, i understand if it’s for one type of oneshot/ story, though. like such as reader getting bullied, harassed, or whatever because of the trait you chose to write about.

and i also completely understand if you write for a specific type of person because that’s what you’re like, and i think that’s great!! i love when writers write y/n as themselves, because honestly me too. but for the people comfortable with that, do you think they should write as i suggested?

like, writing a y/n that’s just.. y/n. not described fully so you can imagine whatever you want for them.

i love your works, and really want you to keep writing!

so please tell me your thoughts on what i said! i am trying to learn how to understand people better, but if you want to ignore that’s totally fine! thank you for reading, i hope you have a wonderful day. <3

note: im sorry if this is a lot and confusing. i kinda just dumped everything i was thinking because i’ve never brought this up with anyone and got a bit nervous to ask this. sorry!

short answer: I write chubby readers because chubby readers deserve to see stories where their bodies are mentioned, celebrated, and loved. Writing for a completely neutral reader is not something I’m interested in, because I would not be able to relate to that at all.

Long answer: Fat people, like me, are often taken out of the experience of reading a reader insert fanfiction because the reader is described as thin WITHOUT any warning saying the fic would describe the body type. You can write your the reader to look however you look, but not tagging it/warning about it can surprise readers and put them off, especially when it happens so often for chubby readers. So I’m not against a reader being skinny, it would just be nice to have a warning or tag.

But anyways, making the reader completely neutral works sometimes, but a lot of the time people write/read chubby reader inserts to see their SPECIFIC body type loved and celebrated because often times it is not in regular reader inserts. People seek out chubby!reader inserts to see a reader being loved that has their body type, they aren’t looking for neutrality. They want a character that has the same struggles, insecurities, and life experiences that they can relate to. A chubby!reader accomplishes that.

I hope this answers your question! It’s okay to be curious and ask questions nicely, so don’t feel nervous :)