#I got more points to make but I gotta go apply for some jobs (pray for me) and work on my thesis chapter | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

razorblade180 · 4 years ago

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Twin Snowflakes part 25: Date Night pt2

Atlas, city of dreams. It was a name post people overlooked and even more scoffed at. Still, it was a little hard not to believe the title from the way it looked; especially with the hundreds of lights illuminating the snow covered city. Veronica was no stranger to Atlas at night but she still couldn’t help but marvel at the sights passing by her window. They were almost as charming as the boy sitting next to her in the backseat, almost. Her mind still couldn’t believe this was happening. Veronica was going on a dinner date with Nick. How did that happen!? Well...she knew how it happened but it was still crazy! The situation wasn’t ideal but Veronica wasn’t exactly upset about it. Not in the way she had shown earlier. Veronica simply wished this event happened as a result of her efforts more than Valerie’s mistakes. Then again, all’s fair in love and war. If Valerie was going to be childish enough to hurt Nick, then that was all the more reason for Veronica not to pull her punches in winning him over. Not that she ever did, for the most part.

She looked over at Nick to see him sinking into his seat, eyes closed and body relaxed. “He must be more exhausted than he let on. She thought, listening to his breathing. He must’ve sensed Veronica’s gaze on him because his eyes opened seconds later. He caught the girl off guard by turning to her and smiling gently.

“Something on my face?” He asked.

His voice was a little deeper than before because of his short rest. The change made Veronica a little timid. “Uhh no. Hehe, your face is fine!” She uttered terribly. A snicker from Winter upfront made Veronica turn a little red. Her ears fell down as she realized how dumb that sounded. “I mean there’s nothing on it. That’s what I…yeah.” She really wanted to stop talking.

Nick sat up straight and rubbed his eyes. “Sorry I drifted a bit. I took a nap when I got home but I guess I was a little more spent than I realized.”

“No worries. A smooth ride puts me to sleep all the time. If you don’t mind me asking, where did you go? Back at the manor your mom said you went to go talk to someone?”

“Oh, that…” he looked in the rear view mirror to look at Winter, who looked back at with a smile.

“The lady asked you a question. Don’t mind me. It honestly isn’t as big of a deal as you think Nicholas. No need to tiptoe around it with your mother, uncle, and I. We’re adults after all.”

“I know. I just...I don’t know, feel a little guilty if I wasn’t careful about it.”

“You are just fine.” Winter reassured him. “To answer your question Veronica, Nicholas likes to visit his grandparents' graves to pay respects and ponder.”

Her ears perked up. This was news to her. Well, not entirely. She had known Nick liked to pray. He’s done it for as long as she could remember. Anytime things were rough or really important, Nicholas could be found giving a small payer. It was only later did she put together that the habit must’ve been formed during his sister’s time in the hospital. Though not religious in the slightest, Veronica could understand praying in a situation like that, but for his grandparents…?

“That’s a little strange, considering you never met either and one of them wasn’t exactly…” She wanted to pick her words carefully but it was hard not to call Jacques a piece of shit. “Let’s just call your grandfather a not so good influence.”

“Heh, that’s certainly putting it lightly.” Nick chuckled, “I guess I do it because...I’m a hit afraid. For me, I can’t imagine anything worse than passing away and the people left behind, the world, it just forgets about you; as if you had no impact on life. I wouldn’t wish that fate on even my enemies. Also, my grandfather’s wrongdoings in a weird way made my mom the person she’d be to have me and Summer.” He smiled at his own weird logic. “Gotta at least be thankful for that, right?”

His reasonings were flawed in some manner but completely understandable to Veronica. “Same rules apply to your grandmother?”

“More or less. I know it’s a little odd.”

“Yeah but it’s also very much a thing you’d do. Always trying to bring someone peace, it’s like your day job at this point.”

Nick shrugged. “Can’t argue with that.”

Winter began pulling over to the curbside, finally reaching their destination. A well known set down restaurant called Blended, known for its many different cuisines that specialized in ingredients that involved purée styled cooking; hence the name. Winter watched Nick get out of the car to escort Veronica, only for the girl to playfully roll her eyes as she got out of the car by herself.

“Well at least she’s consistent with her spunky attitude.” Winter thought, actually approving of the act. “You two be safe. Nick, don’t give your mother a heart attack.”

“How would I? This is just dinner, not a battlefield.”

“Knowing you, anything could happen.” She gave a little smirk before leaving them to ponder that diss.

Nick was both flattered and insulted. “Anyways…” he held his arm out which Veronica happily grabbed. The two went off to make their reservation. Tonight was going to be nice. Like Nick said, it’s just dinner. What could happen? The inside of the restaurant blew Veronica away. Elegant marble tile, pearl white cloths over the table, mood lighting,crystal chandeliers scattered about like if they were as cheap as lightbulbs, and the most divine scents imaginable. They had only entered the front door and yet her nose could pick out an array of ingredients in the kitchen. Veronica hadn’t seen the menu but she already knew there was gonna be a steak in front of her before this night was over.

“You know my opinion of Atlas might actually go up depending on this food?”

Nick chuckled at her comment and went towards the counter where a blonde woman in a waitress outfit stood at the ready. “Hello. Schnee, reservation for two. The usual spot please.”

“Why of course Mr. Sch-” the waitresses eyes quickly caught attention to Nicholas’s plus one. “Umm, Mr.Schnee? You know we actually may have a table on the private upper level if you like?” She said with a smile, maintaining eye contact with him.

“No thank you. Too close to the smoking area. I’ll take my normal table, the one by the window.” He said calmly. Nick took a moment to look at her name tag. He hadn’t seen this one before. “Sophia, that’s a nice name.”

Worry crept up on the corners of the waitress’s smile. “If smoke is the issue then may I recommend-”

“Sophia.” He said again. “Is there a reason in particular that I can’t have my window seat?”

“Well...it’s...just….” she fidgeted her hands, doing her best to not look at Veronica and cause a scene. “.....Right this way sir.” Sophia grabbed two menus and quickly went to lead them before Veronica put a hand on the menus. “M-Ma’am?” She stuttered.

Veronica wanted a good look at her but the waitress would barely meet her eyes. All Veronica could get was a side glance and a worked up heartbeat. “Nick, what do you usually drink?”

“Uhhh apple cider?”

Veronica took the menus out of Sophia’s hands. “Cool. Sophia, he’ll have that and I’d like water. Seeing how it’s a usual spot we’re going, Nick could just lead me himself. Thank you. Nick, if you would?” Veronica said, grabbing his arm.

“Okaaaay?” Nick didn’t question her orders. He grabbed the menus from her and walked through the restaurant. It was past the time most ate, but several clanging plates nearby told him there were a few late customers; about three people every five tables or so. Seeing them was easy even with dim lighting, but that also meant they saw him. A few looked up before continuing their meals while others stared for a couple seconds, forcing him to awkwardly wave as he went by.

“Sorry, usually it’s emptier by now. I come at this time to avoid drawing attention of people who always got a thing or too to say about the Schnees”

“Or the company they keep…” Veronica added. Their table was on the right side a little more than half way towards the back, right next to a window that showed the snowy streets and dazzling lights. A real winter wonderland sight. No wonder Nick liked this spot. She finally sat down. “By any chance do you know the owner of the restaurant?”

“Dyle, what about him?” He opened his menu and began reading.

“That waitress felt like she was on the verge of a panic attack. She really didn’t want us sitting here too. Care to guess why?” Veronica reached over and pressed the menu down with a finger, making sure that Nick saw her ears wiggle. “This is why I wanted a bow.”

“Point taken, but I remember saying screw anyway that has a problem with you. I’ve never known Dyle to have a problem with faunus by the way.”

“Was that because he showed that he didn’t or because you just weren’t paying attention?” Vee noticed the waitress walk over. Sophia once again avoided her gaze, in favor of Nick’s. She also made sure to place Veronica’s water on the table but handed the cider to Nick directly.

“Ready to order?” She asked.

Nick had noticed the treatment of the drinks and had been aware of the eye contact. He only wanted a little time to think about everything as a whole. He didn’t have Veronica’s hearing but he did notice the paleness of her skin. “Are you well?”

“H-Huh?”

“You’re pale. Sick, or spooked by anything?”

“Oh, I’m fine…” The woman fidgeted. “Excuse me, I’ll be right back.” Sophia quickly left the table.

At the same time, Veronica took a sip of Nick’s cider. “Well at least this place has good drinks. Be sure to ask for a second. I’d ask myself but you know, playing things safe around our jumpy friend.”

“Yeah….” Nick flipped through another page. “So there’s either one of two things happening right now. One, our waitress is scared of you, or-”

“A certain somebody wouldn’t want her serving us. Me, is what I should actually say. Gee, I wonder who?”

Nick couldn’t deny this was odd. “Again, point taken. However, it would be weird how many times Dyle has served my family, who actively promotes faunus rights. We’ve held meetings with your mother here before and other faunus.”

Vee always loved Nick’s simple logic, but boy was it not doing him any favors tonight. “Lesson time, my dear knight. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt of you not thinking critically with how tired you are at the moment.” Vee propped her arm on the table and rested her head in her palm. “We aren’t our parents. We’re just their brats. Adults know better than to pick on the pups when they’re around their source of income. Also, how many of those meetings were in perfect view from the street?”

Nick paused for a moment, then looked at the view. “.....None.” He closed his eyes, mentally kicking himself. “They’re up top and away from prying eyes.

“Out of sight, out of mind. Out of the way of any potential customers who may think twice of entering. Translation, private seating is a sweet way of saying it’s embarrassing to have you front and center.”

“Veronica, I didn’t-”

“Mr. Schnee!” A jolly voice called.

The teens looked to the side to see a husky redheaded man in a chef’s uniform and a hat as big as his handlebar mustache.

“Dyle.” Nick said, noticing Sophia turning ghost white a few feet behind him.

“How is the young heir on this fine night!? Craving our pastries again I bet! Oh ho ho ho!” The man patted his stomach at his one witty remark. His olive colored eyes shifted to Veronica. “My, my, where are my manners!? I’m Head Chef Dyle! Clearly Nicholas forgot his manners too for not introducing his partner in crime this lovely night. Though I guess there’s little need whenever you have credibility among the higher class? That and those lilac eyes, I’ve served a few times in the form of one fiery huntress who loves my steak! I assume your-”

“Yes, I’m her kid. To what do we owe the pleasure of the head chef himself coming to greet us?” Veronica said, hiding her attitude with fake jolliness.

“One of my little worker bees had told me one of my favorite customers was here yet again. Imagine my surprise to see him without his typical plus one. I tell you, that Valerie sure can eat until I feel a hole in my wallet! Ho! Ho! Ha! I crack myself up. Have you met her.”

“Occasionally. Sports art my thing. More of a cooking contest watcher myself. When I realized I get to try your steak I nearly jumped for joy!”

“Why thank you! Nicholas my boy, you sure bring a surprise each and every time, but you should know better. A table in the back near this drafty window at this time of year, and at night! Up your game. I’d be more than happy to let you two enjoy the comfiest seat in the building. Nothing sets the tone like the second floor. I can get you a private table right this second!”

If that wasn’t a slap in the face, then Nick didn’t know what was. Has this really gone over his head? Nick wanted to believe this was a classic case of misunderstanding, yet that felt inn accurate the longer Veronica looked at him. There was no anger, only a reserved look that poorly hid the fact she was uncomfortable. Nick stopped feeling sorry for himself, choosing to do what his family did best; put on the face that commanded respect. The face of Atlas’s most powerful family.

“Dyle?” Nick spoke, dragging out the chef’s name like a sigh of boredom. Nick focused one the menu in his hands while giving the man an occasional glance with only his eyes. “Do you know why I come here? I’ll give you a hint.” He tapped on the window.

“The...view-”

“Nope.” Nick said firmly, closing his menu. “It’s the view and the respect I believed this place had for its customers. All of its customers, but tonight is making me think I believed wrong. You’ve never been this insistent whenever Valerie and I ate here. I gotta say I’m a bit concerned. Between your behavior and our waitress, I can’t help but feel like this has everything to do with my lovely date and her perfect features.”

“Perfect.” Veronica thought, bashfully folding her ears.

“Dyle, am I correct to reevaluate my beliefs in this restaurant. No lying now. I want your honest answer.”

The jolly man wasn’t feeling so jolly anymore. Dyle’s smile turned into grimace teeth and panicked eyes. “N-No! it’s just...just!” He looked around and through the window for any watchful eyes. “It’s business. Your family should understand th-”

“My family is no longer in the business of just caring about good business. Fail to understand that and you won’t have to worry about yours.” Nick stood up and finally looked at the giant of a man as best he could. He could see it, the resentment and frustration building within the chef. By all means who wouldn’t be upset when against a member of the most dangerous family name, blatantly throwing power around like if it actually earned. Nick understood the look. If Whitley taught him anything, it was that look does nothing but keep the hate alive. Flex power, but wield it generously.

“Dyle, I will choose to believe you are in fact a good man.”

“W-What?” He said, caught off guard by the tone shift.

“If this is strictly business then we’ll treat it like so. Now there isn’t any scenario where I don’t get what I want, but I’m more than happy to get what we all want. The first thing is you apologizing to Veronica. After that you will tell all your staff to refrain from enforcing whatever faunus rules you have given them; followed by creating the best steaks you can ever create for this table. Your work won’t be done though. I do expect a dessert that will blow our mind. It is only after creating such a grand meal with your hands that you can rest easy knowing that it will have a fairly generous contribution to its stability. Indefinitely.”

“You’re...going to invest here?”

Nick sat back down. “That depends on you. A pretty decent offer I’d say. Equality and a good meal in an exchange for financial stability. Is that good with you Veronica?”

“Hmmmm, I say we should sweeten our pot. An easy fix with an official change in this place's mission statement as a public service. One that states on paper that this restaurant is for all. This isn’t a compromise.”

Nick smiled. “You heard the lady. Is it a deal?”

Dyle stood, confused by the offer. By all means it was not expected or heard of. “So this is how a Schnee conducts business now?”

“This is how I do business.”

“Hmph! Then I guess it’s fortunate you have deep enough pockets to back it up.” The man removed his chef’s hat and bowed. “Please excuse my blatant disrespect, Mrs. Belladonna.”

“Apology not accepted, but a deal is a deal and who am I to not capitalize on it for my people? Just keep your end of the bargain and I’m satisfied.”

“Ma’am.” Dyle rose from his bow, swiftly exiting to the kitchen. Veronica took a sigh of relief. Finally the man was gone. Any longer and she would’ve said something worth being glared at.

“Sorry about all of this.” Nick said with a guilty look. “Didn’t expect this level of confrontation tonight. Here I was thinking I was taking you to a stress free spot in Atlas.”

“I don’t see why you’re apologizing. After all, you are the one who told me not to hide my ears. Screw what others think, remember?” Veronica gave him a comforting smile before getting another sip of his cider. “The occasional loudmouth or prejudiced jerk is nothing new. Still… thanks for sticking up for me. It’s usually me being the mouthpiece for others or myself. It’s nice not taking the lead.”

Nick propped his head up on his right hand “Glad to be of service.”

“I can see that. How’d you know the waitress was being forced and not racist herself?”

“I’ve never met my grandfather, but his handy work I’m too familiar with.” Nick said, staring out the window.

Veronica could tell she had walked onto a sensitive subject. Between him trying to avoid talking about the grave in front of his family, it was easy to understand what he meant. She wouldn’t press the issue any further. Now wasn’t the time to get heavy. “You know if you keep looking out the window like that, I might just faint from your handsomeness.”

Nick’s face turned red. He whipped his head around to see his date smirking at him. “Oh why you gotta tease me like that!? It’s embarrassing.”

Veronica could only giggle as the flustered boy did his best to hide his face. “That’s more like it. Just keep smiling for me. That’s all I need.”

xxxxx

While a dinner date had begun in the city, a house breakout had started half an hour later. Schnee Manor had gone quiet. Dinner had ended long ago and all adults had retired to their room. Summer couldn’t ask for more. The young huntress in training double checked her supplies before making the great escape. Black wig? check. Favorite pair of ripped jeans with a nice leather jacket; check and check. She put her guitar case on her back and looked in the mirror.

“And mom said no good would come from mentioning Bleiss? Well...I am sneaking out, so I guess she had a point.” Summer left her room and began carefully walking through the halls with her boots in hand. Can’t be too careful. Even the finest houses can creak. Thanks to Nick being out, the alarm wasn’t on. Escaping would be cake walk. All she had to do was pick an exit that wouldn’t be seen or heard. Pesky cameras and windows made that a bit more of a challenge.

“Mom and dad and probably still catching up with Blake and Yang, so I should probably leave through the-”

“Beautiful night for an escape.”

Summer whipped her head around to see Blake looking at her, arms folded and smiling. Summer’s face went pale. “Es-Escape!? Me!? No...I was just….”

Blake raised her eyebrow. “Just…?”

“Esssscaping- yeah I was escaping.” Summer held her head down in defeat. She really needed to get better under pressure. “How did you know?”

“I heard the sound of glyphs earlier when you said you were eating. Multiple glyphs, launching something outside and around the house. You know it might’ve been less suspicious if you decided to grab whatever you needed, and haul it back to your room normally? No way Yang or I would know if it’s out of the ordinary.”

“Hindsight isn’t always 20/20. Plus I like plans. This one appears to be a bust though.”

“Not exactly. I won’t tell if you won’t.” Blake winked.

Summer’s eyes went wide. “Wait, what? You’re okay with me sneaking out.”

“It won’t earn me any warm feelings with Weiss but it’s clear to everyone in and out of this house that you need an outlet. I do have some conditions however.”

Summer squinted. Now she knew where Veronica got her deal making skills from. “I’m listening.”

“First, cut your parents some slack and go to school every day until after the tournament. I heard you’ll fail otherwise.”

“Ugh, why does everyone want me to- okay, fine. I was planning on it anyway. Next one?”

“Please try and be Veronica’s friend.”

“I’m sorry, did you ask me the impossible?” Summer said, making Blake frown. “What!? It’s the truth. Friendship is a two way street and both lanes are closed.

“Listen, I know my daughter hasn’t been the nicest to you, and I know what I’m asking is completely selfish. However, I’m asking anyway. Maybe if she had actual friends to open up to, then things wouldn’t be so bad for her.” Blake sighed.

“Are you trying to tell me Mrs. Fashion designer with perfect skin doesn’t have a line of people trying to rub elbows with her?”

“Hehe, you’d be surprised… Besides, I figured you would know first hand people like that aren’t exactly friend material, Mrs. Teen Idol.”

Summer bit her lip. “Fair point, got me there.” She folded her arms and began tapping her foot. Blake meant well, but it really felt like she was asking Summer to move a mountain. Especially after the forest incident. “Really twisting my arm here.”

“Could you at least make a strong attempt? You both will be spending more time together after all.”

“Hmmm, fine.”

Blake squinted, “Strong attempt, Summer.”

“I heard you.” Summer turned her head away like the snooty rich girl regular folk saw her as. “Is that all?”

“One more thing.” Blake walked up to the young girl and placed her hands on Summer’s shoulders. “Never forget you’re not alone.”

“.....Yes ma’am. Thanks, I mean it.”

Blake rubbed Summer’s head. She’s grown since the last time they met, yet still oh so small. Not to mention a bit frail. Summer may have looked like her mother but Blake could see how much more gentle she was in comparison. Not that Weiss wasn’t a softie in her own right, but she also had an uncompromising defiance. Blake didn’t see that in Summer. Her defiance by all means could be compromised. With any luck and help, it wouldn’t be. “Okay, I’ve held you hostage long enough. Have fun and be safe. I’ll feel guilty otherwise.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll be at my home away from home. If I don’t get lost in the music then I’ll definitely be back before midnight.”

“And if you do get lost in the music?”

“Make sure the bathroom window in the third hall downstairs is unlocked. Sneaking is easier at ground level. Bye now.”

Summer gave Blake a hug then rushed off out of sight. Blake couldn’t help but sigh. “Oh boy, maybe I’m the softie?”

xxxx

“Nick?”

“H-huh!?” The boy shook himself out of his daze. Veronica chewed another slice of steak while giving Nick a look of concern. Nick quickly tried to snap back to reality. “Something wrong with steak?”

“Oh something is definitely wrong, but not with the steak.” Veronica took a sip of her third cup of cider. “Maybe you can tell me what’s wrong? Nick you’ve been spacing out more and more ever since we got our entrees. Is a twin thing happening that I’m not aware of?”

“What? Oh, no, no it’s nothing like that. Sorry I’m just more out of it than I thought tonight.

Veronica nodded. “I see. Well… I guess that’s what happens when your crush hurts your feelings.” She watched Nick’s face turn from shock to guilt in no time at all. “You know it’s fine to talk about it right?”

“No it’s not. This is supposed to be a date and what kind of jerk complains about relationship stuff in front of somebody who has feelings for them? It’s not exactly dating etiquette.”

“Oh absolutely. Just thinking about another woman while there’s one in front of you is a real low blow. Frankly I am a bit bruised by it.”

“That’s why-” his words were silenced by the sweet taste of steak Veronica placed in his mouth.

“Let me finish while you chew on that, kay? Yeah my poor little pride is a bit bruised, but it’s not like I don’t already know where I stand when it comes to Valerie; much like how I know you’ve been doing well to try and set that aside. However, I’m here to tell you that’s flawed thinking. At least when you’re dealing with me. I’d much rather you talk about it with me than mentally check out whenever we’re together. So seeing how this dinner date is already far from conventional, let’s not beat around the bush a talk about the girl on your mind.”

Even though she was clearly being nice, Nick couldn’t help but feel like even more of a jerk! “It’s- it’s okay, really. We don’t have to make a big deal out of-”

“Ten minutes.”

“Huh?”

Veronica pulled out her scroll and set a timer. “It was your bright idea to have a ten minute unfiltered grace period between us. I’m calling in your ten minutes sucker. Deny it and I’ll never agree to doing it like you want.” She hit the timer. “Now spill your guts.”

His own system, used against him. Nick wasn’t sure if he should be happy Veronica remembered it, or upset. “Well played. Fine I’ll talk. Yes, Valerie has me lost in thought.”

“About what?”

“About a lot of things.”

“Nah uh, it’s something specific that has you upset. Might as well come clean now.”

“You’re really not gonna make this easy huh?”

“Nope! Tough love is tough, now speak.” Veronica smiled.

“Sigh, Val...made it seem like I was embarrassing to be around. That I stick my nose into everything. It’s not just her too. Summer said something similar to me butting in as well. The entire thing has been bugging me. Am I really that annoying to them?” Nick slouched in his chair. “Have been pushing them away?”

Veronica clicked her tongue. He opened up faster than she expected. “While I can’t speak much about you being embarrassing since I don’t think you are by any means; I can totally say you do make it your mission to be a helping hand in every situation. So yeah, you do butt in.”

The waitress came back and Veronica quickly gathered their dirty dishes to give to the actually nice woman. “All that being said, that’s nothing new Nick. You’ve always been like that. I’d say it’s actually one of your better qualities.”

“It is?” He said confused.

“Mmmhmm. I’ve never minded it at the very least. There’s a comfort in knowing there’s a helping hand in your corner. Plus it’s not like you blatantly ignore any request telling you to stop. You did give Valerie space when she asked for it after all. As for your sister, she’s all talk. I can tell just from reviewing footage and our short trip to the forest that Summer is quick to depend on you. If you ask me, she’s more annoyed at herself for that than she is at you.”

“I doubt it. They both gave me that same look of frustration. Especially Valerie. One minute she wants to be included whenever I’m in trouble but the next she’s telling me to take a hike. It’s pissing me off.” Nick rubbed his hand through his hair and let out a sigh. This entire thing felt like a complex math equation he didn’t know how to solve.

Veronica could tell by the look on his face how conflicted this made him. How conflicted Valerie made him. Needless to say, she was a bit envious. “Why do you love her so much?” She asked bluntly.

Nick’s face turned red. “Uhhh what?”

“I’m just trying to understand what makes her special. After all, Nicholas Schnee could have a girlfriend everyday of the week, yet he fawns over one. The same one since kindergarten. It can’t only because you’ve known each other for so long. What makes her special in your eyes?” Veronica knew she was practically asking to get hurt but she had to know. What was it that made Valerie different from her?

“D...Do I really have to answer that? It’s kinda sudden.”

“The clock has five more minutes on it and you have a girl willing to listen to gush over another girl. Money can’t buy you a scenario this sweet. Fess up.”

Nick took a long sip of his cider before taking an even longer breath. It would’ve been nice if he could do this for five minutes straight but that would be asking for too much. The only way out was through.

“It’s not the most complicated reason if you’re wondering. Growing up the way I have has had numerous blessings I won’t begin to look down on. Family, money, influence; all of that has been a joy. That being said, I didn’t really revel in being who I am as a Schnee until maybe four or five years ago. Everything I did or everywhere I went, a person would always watch what I would do. Nick is gonna go far. Oh he’s great at that, perhaps he’ll go pro? That sort of thing. Ice skating was just a hobby at first. I did it because it was relaxing and mom liked skating with me. I never paid attention if I was actually good at the moves I tried.”

“But...the people did?” Veronica asked, receiving a nod.

“I didn’t think much of it. I was only around seven perhaps? It actually made me happy. So what if a few people liked my routine? I was on the ice for fun and happened to win a medal. But then, as I kept on skating, a pressure started to form. More eyes started watching me. Waiting for the next medal, talking my skill up, muttering rumors about the contests I didn’t participate in, shaking their heads at my failures…they weren’t looking at me. Only my achievements and shortcomings. Ice skating stopped being fun, again. Mom was always quick to tell me to never pay them mind and eventually convinced me to take a break from it altogether. I could never skate again and she’d be perfectly fine with that.”

“Of course. She shared that with you as an outlet, not a sport. I think she knows better than anyone how cruel it is to make a child participate in performances just because they’re good at it.”

“Yeah, hehe, she really has the perfect playbook of what not to do with a child. It would be cool if it wasn't also sad. Anyways, the break was well needed. People eventually stopped talking and I skated in private. By then I’ve taken up some early combat stuff. Nothing serious. Fencing, a few things a bit more in the huntsman category but for more of sparring and building blocks of it all. Valerie had taken notice one day and got the biggest smile. Finally we can do some real horse playing! She shouted and cheered. Next thing I knew I was being driven to the gym with a hyperactive twelve year old who may have been a little too eager to hit her best friend.” He chuckled.

“And they say I’m feisty. So what? Did she hit you so hard you thought it was cool?” Veronica teased.

“N-Well it was cool, but that wasn’t the linchpin! We were having fun sparring. I was having fun. Learning how she did and showing me the ropes everyday was a blast, until one day I did something really cool I guess. Cool enough that people noticed; and kept noticing. People started talking again about what this might possibly mean for me and began watching my practices. I remember starting to feel the overwhelming stress build up again. It was frustrating thinking that this thing I do for me was about to be taken for the people again. I wanted to cry on the spot. Next thing I knew, Valerie had gotten on this platform to make herself taller and kindly told everyone that they were interrupting our training. To my surprise, they left. It only hit then that I’ve been so caught up in trying to avoid them or please, that I never once tried telling everyone to leave me alone. I asked Valerie how she could easily tell people that also expect so much from her to leave because they were in way. Why would I ever care about their input? I do what I want for me. They’re just along for the ride. S-”

BZZZ! BZZZ! BZZZ! Ten minutes had finally gone by. Veronica clicked her tongue. She reached to shut her alarm off when Nick reached for her scroll.

“It’s only right to finish a story this far in. Not much left anyways.” Nick shut the alarm off to continue. “As I was saying, Soon after that is when I began getting back into ice skating and really started participating for myself; figuring out my agenda in all things I did. Especially tournaments. That’s the gist of it. Like I said, silly.”

“No, I get. Valerie gave you back your enjoyment of your hobbies. Helped make a new lease on life. How could that not be a big deal? If anything it makes me irritated that you have such nice reasoning.” Veronica poked her lips out in a dramatically pouty way before turning head to the window. “Guess I should’ve figured as much. She did to you what you did for me. No wonder you like her. Still, I’m not phoning things in yet. Especially if those are the words she told you.” Veronica stopped herself from clenching the table cloth. “That hypocrite. Not caring about their input my ass…” Veronica let out a little chuckle. That was certainly informative. “Thank you for your honesty.”

“Yeah don’t thank me yet.” Nick put thirteen minutes on the timer and smiled. “I believe it’s your turn?”

Veronica’s pleased expression quickly turned to panic. “Wait, what!?”

“Why do you like me?” He asked without mercy. The flush on Vee’s cheeks was redder than wine. “Y-You can’t just ask a girl why they like you!”

“Oh but you can ask me about my romantic feelings without question.” Vee nodded shameless.

“Yep that pretty much sums it up. Besides it’s not like I asked about your feelings towards me. That’s embarrassing as hell.” Veronica watched Nick purse his lips and gave her a look that screamed “seriously?” It was enough to make her start combing her fingers through her hair and look at the coconut cream pie slice that the waitress somehow managed to put under her nose without detection. “I...specifics are bothersome to explain. Just understand that...Nick, you’ve…” she could feel her heart pound in her own ears. “You’ve given me a lot of strength, hope actually. In ways I can’t begin to explain. I’m grateful; dare I say blessed.”

Those words truly shocked him. It wasn’t everyday a term like that came from Vee’s lips. “Blessed huh? That’s a big deal coming from a nonbeliever like yourself.”

“And despite knowing that you still tell me how you pray for me. Not that I particularly mind that I’m in your thoughts regularly. Also it’s rude to just straight up say nonbeliever. I have beliefs. Now the feelings associated and to what the beliefs are is a different story. Thank you for the prayers nonetheless though.”

“Maybe one day you’ll pray for me, hehe.”

Veronica smirked. “I doubt any deity would heed the words. I’ll keep the praying business to the faithful.”

“Fair enough.” Nick took a scoop of ice cream off his fudge brownie and looked at the timer. “Seeing how you’re a bit resistant to tell me why you feel the way you do towards me, can you at least be frank with me by telling me why you’re so adamant about not getting along with Valerie or Summer?”

Very slumped over. “Of all the questions, you’re set on detective work?”

“This timer thing isn’t even meant for interrogation. I offered this as a way to vent without consequences but you’re the one who wanted to play twenty questions.” He finally took a bite of dessert. “Tough it out” He said, a warm smile on his face from the flavor.

“Sigh, guess I have no right to complain. I wouldn’t say I have any real personal grievances towards them, even though I have a few unpleasant memories of your sister harassing me when we were little.”

“We were five.”

“Well I was six and a hurt tail is still a hurt tail, but I digress. Those two, they’re not the kind of people I find myself liking very much. Summer always wraps individuals into her pity party by acting like she’s making a genuine effort, and then Valerie, sigh, there’s not a thing about her that doesn’t make me want to hit her. I know you like her and wouldn’t say she’s a bad natured person, but…” Veronica held her tongue before she overstepped. These were still Nick’s loved ones.

Nick on the other hand wasn’t satisfied. “Say it, what’s on your mind. Zero consequences remember?”

“You say that but it’s not like we’ll magically forget what we’ve said in this last twenty six minutes.”

“No, but I trust you won’t hold my words and secrets against me. Do you trust me? Good or bad, this is meant to clear the air. I’d be a hypocrite to not let you speak your mind after asking you to.” It was a bit brash but Nick reached for Vee’s hand and held it.

Veronica felt her own breathing slow down at the sight of Nick’s reassuring smile. Her eyes went to her pie to avoid his gaze. He was too disarming for his own good. It made her feel guilty for doubting, as well as relying on him the way she did.

“Valerie isn’t a good friend, not you and I, not your sister for that matter. Yeah she might help out because she’s a good person but she’s far too self centered in my opinion. I mean just take tonight for example. You’ve made plans with her that fell apart because everything you two do are on her own terms. What friend gets upset that another saved them in a training exercise, or uses a pet name that the other person doesn’t like!?”

Nick raised his eyebrow. “Pet name?”

“Summer hates to be called Princess, right? That could be a thing with me personally but with the way she gets so pissed about it I would think Valerie using it would be annoying. Yet she does it anyway. Like how she’s quick to try to act like she’s above something when she clearly isn’t. I-”

“Vee? My hand…” Nick winced, his hand being squeezed like a stress ball.”

“Crap…” Veronica immediately loosened up to look at it. Thankfully her nails didn’t dig into him but she did make his hand red. Veronica gently begins rubbing it in some pointless attempt to relieve the pain. “Sorry I… I shouldn’t lose my temper like that. Ugh I know better too. Maybe steak was a bad idea after all?”

Nick watched as Veronica became fixated on the light injury. Her ears had fallen down and the anger she had while speaking had vanished entirely. All she could do was rub his hand. “It’s fine, honest. I don’t even feel pain anymore.”

“You shouldn’t have felt pain at all. This is the second time I’ve hurt you.”

“Well...I did actively walk into a fight the first time. Faunus reasons or not, a person should expect to get whaled on a bit when breaking a fight up.”

Veronica knew Nick was trying to be nice and there was truth to his words. That still didn’t make her feel much better. “I guess there’s one thing Valerie and I have in common. We get you hurt for needless reasons that could be avoided.”

“Vee…”

“Hey, I know she makes you happy and I shouldn’t really try to persuade you to feel otherwise, but… I can’t help but feel like… if you were to ever allow it one day if you’ll look my way, because…Nick, I think I can make you even happier.” She gently held his hand with her trembling ones.

Nick couldn’t see her eyes but could see how the blush took over her. She wasn’t the only one. How could he not feel embarrassed when Veronica Belladonna, the most brazen girl he knew, was now currently holding his hand sheepishly while her tail swayed side to side. Thank goodness he had set a timer beforehand. The buzzer finally went off and Veronica snapped out of her trance, letting go. Rather than speak further, her pie became the scapegoat, getting devoured without interruption. Nick wanted to say something but even the work up to speaking made her face redder by the second. Besides, the timer hit zero. He had to respect the rules he made. A lot was learned within a short time.

“It’s been some time since we had a talk like that. Thanks, Veronica. I feel like I know you even better than before.”

“Just...eat your dessert, please?” She said, embarrassed beyond belief. How could she say something so compromising like that!? Claiming to make him happier than Valerie was bolder than she meant to be.

xxxx

The rest of dinner was pretty quiet. Both of them couldn’t think of any light topics to discuss after prying into feelings. It wasn’t awkward to speak but felt more, inappropriate, so to speak. Both desserts were finished and the chef had passed his taste test. Nick would keep his end of the bargain. However, the generous tip he usually left for all workers involved was purposely missing. The chef had lost the privilege entirely. The waitress would be in for a shock the next time she checked her savings. No need to punish those in the crossfire after all. Veronica and Nick left without saying a word to anybody.

The two of them walked down the sidewalk in the season's chill embrace. Veronica felt the chill winds creep down her thin dress. It felt colder than in the forest. Not even a single person or car was on the street! Nothing but an ever forming winter wonderland!

“Eugh! I know walking home was my idea but maybe I should’ve thought ahead?”

Nick chuckled. “Maybe so?” He took his dress coat off and draped it over her shoulders. “Better?”

“Yeah but you just got over being sick. You can’t afford to catch another cold.”

“Relax, I got sick because of stress. Temperatures like this are nothing to anybody who lives here. The cold is nothing in the face of a real Atlesian. It’s in our blood!”

“And central heating is in your budget. Speaking of which, shouldn’t that be on full blast in the winter!? I mean my goosebumps have goosebumps.” Veronica shivered.

Nick smiled. “I’m glad you asked!” He took Veronica’s hand and quickly rushed over to a building with an awning for them to be under. “There’s a reason I picked a reservation for today. It’s the night manual resets happen.”

“Manual resets?”

Nick nodded. “Yep! You’re right about it being super cold. The lack of people is a dead giveaway.”

“What’s up with that? I thought Atlas was a city that never slept? It’s like a ghost town now. Nothing but….actually…” Veronica looked around the streets, lamps, and every building. There were noticeable less lights. A far cry from the dazzling show she saw earlier through the window. “The heating system, it’s off.”

“Not entirely. A majority of buildings still have them on but yes, external heating vents get temporarily shut off and rebooted. It’s common in the winter since they have to run constantly. You didn’t think it was weird that it was snowing so steadily?”

“Now that you mention it, I guess it is. Everything was already covered in snow so I didn’t notice.”

“Most snow melts on contact but there’s no getting past it during the cold season. Heater or not heater, you’re gonna see snow fall.”

Veronica breathed on her hands to warm them up. “So why come out when the heaters are off if you can see snow whenever?”

“Because I’m not here for the snow. There’s only one thing Atlas gets to really witness whenever the heaters come back on, because the reboot forces the heaters to come back on at full blast.”

“What would-” Before she could finish, Veronica witnessed it first hand; the sudden burst of heat that washed over her body as the orange glow of heaters returned to pale white city. The previous atmospheric silence had been broken. Pit pat pit pat pit pat pit. The familiar brought Veronica’s attention to the streets. Right before eyes like magic, suddenly and seamless, the winter wonderland turned into rain. Lots of rain.

Any and all snowflakes melted before pitter pattering on the pavement. Rain was nothing new to her and neither was Atlas at night for that matter, but a rainy night lights in the city of Atlas? That was a different story entirely. It was if she was in a new kingdom altogether, the way the lights shimmered on the water in the air and on the ground. Atlas somehow went from looking like a snow globe, to a chandelier.

“Woah~” Veronica was floored. She extended her hand out. The feeling of frigid rain contrasted against the warm so much it made her jolt. “Ah! Man that has a bite to it!” She laughed.Veronica stepped out from the awning.

Nick, shocked by her actions, quickly grabbed her hand. “Hey, your dress!” He shouted with agency. Veronica did not bother with his words. Instead she pulled Nick into the rain with her as she laughed.

“Hahaha! What’s a little water!? I love the rain!! Between the heaters and a pour like this, I’d say this is more refreshing than the showers back home.” Veronica’s grin widened. She took hold of Nick’s hands and began swaying. “Come on, dance with me!”

Nick let himself get strung along into Vee’s antics. He caught her guard by pulling the two of them into a ballroom stance and began to waltz.

Veronica’s ears wiggled. “Oooo look at you Mr. Casanova, taking the lead like that.”

“You’re pretty upbeat for a cat in the rain.” He teased.

“Jokes on you, panthers love water, and people from Menagerie love the ocean. I do have a surfboard after all.” She leaned back to que Nick to support her back. Veronica dramatically stuck her leg out to do an over the top dip before Nick brought her back up, pulling her close.

“Nice moves.”

“You’re not the only one who has to learn etiquette. Gotta stay on my toes for the public too. Pretty easy with a tail for balance.”

Nick chuckled. He waltzed his cheeky date back over to the awning near a heater as she continued to laugh. “I could’ve sworn minutes ago you didn’t want me getting sick?”

“Well someone bragged about being one with the cold.”

“I didn’t say all that now. I’m surprised someone complaining about the cold gets excited to dance in the rain.”

“Yeah well…” Veronica moves even closer to Nick, until there’s virtually no space between them. “I feel pretty warm right now.” She said, looking up into his eyes. Maybe it was the heater, the cold rain, or the warmth from his arms now wrapping around her, but it made Veronica warm to the point of feeling dazed. It couldn’t just be her. Not when Nick’s face was its own shade of red. The two let the sound of rain surround them yet again. The smile Veronica had slowly shifted into an expression of longing. She was so close to him right now. Closer than she’s ever felt. His warmth, his cologne, his lips…; Veronica’s body couldn’t help but lean forward. Right...until…

Beep! beep! The sound of a car horn made both jump out of their skin. They looked to the street to see their waitress waving joyfully.

“Thanks for the tip!” She said emotionally as she drove off.

The surprise brought Veronica back to her senses to see Nick’s face flushed and embarrassed. As well as conflicted. Like how he was back at Penny’s lab. Veronica felt the weight of her actions hit her like a tank and quickly took a step back.

“Sorry! Silly me, hehe. Here I was telling you that I wouldn’t be too forward or force anything, then I pull this! Talk about embarrassing huh?!” There wasn’t a bone in her body that didn’t want to find a hole to hide in. How could she get lost in emotion again!?

Nick frowned. “Ver-”

“It’s fine! Totally my bad.” She could feel her own heart start to race from her recklessness. “Tonight has been nice. We should probably start heading back before-”

Nick took Veronica’s arm and shut her up by kissing her cheek before wrapping his arms around her tightly. Her body went a little stiff before eventually hugging him back.

“No date is complete without a little intimacy, right.” Nick said, doing his best to kill the tension. “Sorry things got weird. I should’ve spoken up. It’s not like I would’ve been upset.” He admitted. “I just...you know. But I hope this is okay at least?”

Rejection is nothing new. Veronica was ready for the sting. However, Nick’s words didn’t sting at all. In fact, Veronica could only find herself hiding her face in his shirt, enjoying this comfort. Her heart stopped racing and she felt calmer than she had all night. This wasn’t rejection. Not by a long shot. A to be continued perhaps?

“This is perfect.” She said, holding her crush closer. “Stay just like this for your date. At least for a few more moments.”

Nick smiled. “As you wish.”

Veronica may not have Nick’s attention like how Valerie does, but at this moment, Veronica had Nick focused on her and her alone. He was hers right now. Veronica couldn’t ask for more. This definitely was an unconventional date, clumsy and hardly what anyone would call romantic. Veronica would cherish it all the same.

xxxx

While the sweet sound of rain soothed one duo, another couldn’t hear it all, it being completely drowned out by applause with bubbling excitement. Tonight may be one of the coldest nights for Atlas, but for a warehouse in Mantle filled with young adults, passion burned in the form of a young woman in black about to conquer the stage with her guitar and vocals. Summer was ready to vent. While Eliza carefully observed from afar.

If she wasn’t here then she might not have believed it. With those clothes and confidence, Eliza was sure she was watching a stranger.“Summer Schnee, you and your brother are one surprise after another.”

The singer grabbed a microphone and looked out to the many eyes ready to cut loose. “ALRIGHT EVERYBODY LET’S MAKE SOME NOISE!”

Summer screamed, receiving nothing less than twice the excitement back. No time was wasted in playing how she played less. Tonight was her night. Problems could wait until tomorrow.

#rwby #rwby twin snowflakes #nicholas schnee #summer schnee #blake belladonna #winter schnee #eliza marigold #veronica belladonna

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svtwritess · 4 years ago

Text

Chapter 5

ღ word count: 8.2k

ღ genres: fluff, (heavy-ish) angst, smut (there’s actually some in this chapter finally sry for the wait <3)

ღ pairing: wonwoo x female reader, mingyu x female reader

ღ college!au, vampire!au

ღ warnings: mentions of food, vampire stuff, oral (m & f recieving)

“He came up to you?”

“Yes!” you nearly yelled into the phone. You’d called Mingyu the second you left the grocery store. “He said he remembered me and that if I needed anything I should ask him, but it didn’t seem like he was talking about groceries.” you told him nervously as you walked home as quickly as possible.

“If it’s not too much to ask please try not to go there alone. Or just… go to a different grocery store or something.” you could hear the frustration in his voice and even though you didn’t know why he had an issue with Jun, you felt bad that he was so worried.

“Mingyu, is he a, you know…” you didn’t want to say the word out loud, just in case people heard you and thought you were half out of your mind.

“A vampire?”

“Yeah.”

Mingyu let out a long breath. “Yeah, he is…”

“Okay, that makes a lot more sense then. I was already planning on it, but I’ll steer clear of him, I promise.” you nodded in understanding, even though Mingyu couldn’t see you.

“Thank you.” he sighed in relief. You smiled at the fact that you were able to lift even the lightest weight off of his shoulders.

“I’m home now so I gotta go, but I’ll see you tomorrow?” you asked as you unlocked your door.

“For sure, with a coffee in hand.” you smiled at his response and ended the call before entering your apartment, closing and locking the door behind you.

You placed the few bags you had on the counter and took the items you’d bought out of them. You put the food in the refrigerator and everything else in the cabinet under the sink. As you were collecting the bags to put them away, you heard Wonwoo’s door open. You closed your eyes and sighed, not exactly sure how the interaction was going to go.

“You’re finally home,” he said, his tone difficult to read.

“Yep.” you replied, tossing the grocery bags in the pantry and beginning the walk to your room. You brushed past Wonwoo, avoiding eye contact, but he grabbed your wrist to stop you.

“Listen, I’m sorry.” he said quietly and you nearly rolled your eyes.

“There would be nothing to be sorry for if you had just warned me or something.” you said, annoyance in your voice as you turned to face him.

“Well we agreed not to talk about that stuff, so I didn’t know where the line was,” he shrugged, letting go of you.

“Think about it this way.” you crossed your arms, “Would you rather say something as vague as ‘hey I think you should try and find another place to stay tonight I’m doing something at home’ or me walk in on you having sex? Which one do you think is the better option? Honestly?” your words caused Wonwoo to let out a sigh as he rubbed his face with his hands.

“Look I made a mistake and I apologized. I’m sorry it happened, really, so why are you still upset?” he seemed tired and a little frustrated, but it almost seemed like he was more angry with himself than with you.

“Because you could do better than that girl from the coffee shop! I don’t know why you’re wasting your time.” you muttered as you pulled away from his grasp and finished the walk to your room.

“Y/N!” Wonwoo yelled as he followed you. You went to close your door, but his hand stopped it, pulling it back open. “Do you know how annoying it is? Watching you go through guys that aren’t good enough for you?”

“Wonwoo what are you talking about?” you slightly raised your voice as you turned to face him.

“All the guys you had crushes on that didn’t like you back? Do you know how much it sucked hearing you complain about them so much when they weren’t even worth your time in the first place?” he explained, anger evident in his tone. “How much I hated knowing that you were fucking my best friend for half of high school? The way he would talk about you sometimes was like you weren’t even a person, I hated it. And now this Mingyu guy who made a move while you were moving in? How desperate can he be?!” he vented loudly, running his hands through his hair. He let out a frustrated breath as he looked at you expectantly, awaiting your response.

“I-” you really didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry… I didn’t know you felt that way.” you stood there awkwardly as you looked at the floor, a pained look on your face.

“Yeah, well, I guess it’s my fault for keeping it to myself.” he leaned against the wall by your door and looked at the ceiling.

You further contemplated what to say. You didn’t know he had been holding so much inside of him or how he did it for so long. You never had the chance to feel that way toward him because this was basically the first time he’d been with anyone romantically and you hated it, so you couldn’t imagine how he felt.

“Why do you think…” you started nervously, “it bothers you so much?”

The window for him to confess was wide open now, you just wondered if he would do it.

“I think we both know the answer to that,” he looked at you, “But clearly that’s not gonna happen, so what’s the point in waiting around, right?” he said as he turned to leave your room.

“What’s not gonna happen?” you asked hurriedly, taking a step toward him. He looked back at you over his shoulder.

“This,” he motioned between the two of you, “us. I know how you feel and it’s fine, I’ll get over it.” he shrugged and finally exited your room, shutting the door behind him.

You just stood there, face blank as you tried to process everything your best friend had just admitted to you. He had feelings for you? You weren’t particularly surprised, specifically because of everything he prefaced his confession with. How did he not snap sooner? You would’ve been miserable if you were in his position.

You buried your face in your hands, rubbing your temples before grabbing your phone out of the bag that was still on your shoulder. You tossed your purse on the floor as you fell on your bed, tears starting to fill your eyes. You couldn’t talk to Mingyu about this, but you knew there was only one other person that you’d feel even remotely comfortable talking to about the situation. You went to your contacts and selected their name, the phone only ringing a few times before they picked up.

“Y/N?”

“Joshua?” you sniffled, a tear rolling down your face and onto your bed.

“Are you okay?” he inquired, sounding concerned.

“No.” you chuckled, still barely having comprehended everything.

“What’s going on?” he asked, his sweet voice calming you down slightly.

“Wonwoo kind of… told me that he likes me. Did you know?”

“Wow,” Joshua let out a breathy laugh, “I’m surprised he waited ‘till now to tell you. After we stopped hooking up I asked him if he was into you, because it seemed like he was, and he said yes.” he said casually. You sat up and ran a hand through your hair.

“God I feel horrible,” you wiped a tear off of your cheek, “what do you think I should do?” you asked as you were truly, completely lost.

“Well my instinct says you should just date him since he’s been into you for so long, but I know it’s not that easy. He told me you’ve been seeing this guy he doesn’t like, is that true?”

“Yeah… it’s just weird because I really like him, but if I didn’t like Wonwoo, why would I be so upset about the fact that he’s seeing someone?” you asked him, hoping he would be able to tell you since you couldn’t seem to figure out the answer yourself.

“Y/N, I hate to break it to you, but it’s possible to like two people at once, so you might be caught in a dilemma here.” he replied and you groaned, flopping back down on your bed.

“Well this sucks,” you said and he laughed a little.

“Just do whatever feels right, you have good judgement.” he told you, causing you to smile slightly.

“Thanks, I try.”

“It’s good to hear from you, Y/N,” Joshua said genuinely, “And if things don’t work out with either of them, you know where to find me.” he joked… or at least you thought he was joking.

“Thanks Josh. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Sounds good.” he said contently and you both said goodbye before ending the call.

You laid still on your bed, completely unsure of what to do as you tossed your phone beside you. How were you supposed to live with Wonwoo without things being completely awkward? Unless you dated him, but was that what you wanted? You didn’t want to leave Mingyu by any means… Wonwoo would get over it right? He said he would and he was already starting the process; you prayed that that would be enough.

You picked up your phone again and saw that Wonwoo had texted you.

from: wonu

1:21pm: leaving for the night, see you tomorrow

You sighed for what felt like the 100th time that night. You didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable in his own home because of you, so you decided that you would sit down with him and talk it out tomorrow. Even if it ended with remaining just friends, you wanted to give him some form of closure.

You got a little bit of your shit together and decided to go on one of those job finding websites, beginning your much needed search for employment. You created your account, creating a resume and providing the site with the information they required. When you were done, you searched keywords for jobs that didn’t sound completely grueling, like “bookstore” and “receptionist” and even “librarian”. Most of them required some kind of prior experience, but you submitted your resume to the ones that didn’t. The site even recommended a couple of jobs to you as well, based on what you had searched, so you applied to a few of those just for the hell of it.

You closed the web browser and went to scroll through an app on your phone when you heard a long, very unsettling gurgling noise come from your stomach. The fact that you hadn’t eaten all day smacked you in the face and you forced yourself to get out of bed.

As you padded to the kitchen, you knew exactly what you were going to make yourself. You’d bought some noodles, pasta sauce, and parmesan cheese for the house and though it was simple, it was filling, and in your opinion, delicious.

You played some music on your phone, dancing around a little as you waited for the noodles to cook. You stirred them every once and a while, making sure the water didn’t boil over. When they were almost done, you put some of the sauce in a bowl and heated it up in the microwave. Once the timer went off, you turned the stovetop off and removed the pot of noodles from the eye it was on. After straining them, you transferred the noodles to the same bowl as the sauce and doused everything in parmesan cheese.

You decided to watch a movie that you knew Wonwoo would never be interested in, deciding to take advantage of the fact that he (sadly) wasn’t there. Even though you were usually okay with being by yourself, for some reason you felt quite lonely. Maybe it was because you had found someone besides Wonwoo that you actually enjoyed spending time around, and it definitely helped that that someone was extremely attractive and very interested in you.

You didn’t want to annoy him, but you found yourself wanting to be around Mingyu more and more. You’d always just assumed that he had a life outside of you, but honestly, you weren’t so sure anymore. It wasn’t by any means a bad thing, you had far less of a life than he did, you just hoped that he wanted to spend more time together just as you did.

You picked up your phone and unlocked it, finding Mingyu’s contact and pressing the call button.

“Why hello, miss me already?” you could hear him smirking.

“Actually yes,” you admitted, “Can you blame me?”

“Not at all… I was just thinking about you myself.”

“Ooooh, do I get to know what about?” you asked, smiling to yourself at his words. You loved that he was comfortable enough to admit something like that to you.

“I’m afraid that’s gonna have to stay between me and the higher power babe,” he chuckled and you blushed at the nickname. He had never called you that before. “What’s up?”

You hesitated for a moment. “Do you think you could come over tonight? Wonwoo’s gone for the night so I thought it would be nice, but if you’re busy…”

“I’m helping Chan study for a test he has tomorrow, but I’ll be over as soon as we’re done. I promise.”

“See you then,” you bit your lip excitedly and ended the call.

You thought that maybe you should, no…. well? Maybe it wasn’t that crazy of an idea. Would wearing something kind of obviously sexy be too much? What if he was more in the mood than you were and then things got awkward? Or vice versa? You knew he wouldn’t push you to do anything you didn’t want to do, but you also didn’t want to give him the wrong impression. It felt like a stupid thing to be worrying about, but admittedly you were a bit tired of just kissing, and moving to ~the next step~ was pretty nerve wracking.

You paused the movie you were watching and walked into your room, letting out a deep breath and continuously trying to convince yourself that you weren’t being ridiculous. You opened your underwear drawer and dug to the bottom of it, fishing out the sexiest pair you had that you’d only ever worn for you and you alone. You found the bra that matched it and tossed them on your bed, removing the clothes you were wearing before putting them on. You realized the black matching set was surprisingly comfortable as you contemplated what else to wear during his visit.

You looked through your drawers, quickly realizing that sexy loungewear wasn’t something you owned, and decided to simply wear a large t-shirt that your father had given you a few years ago because it didn’t fit him. It wasn’t particularly sexy in itself, but it sent the right message.

You padded back into the living room and plopped back down on the couch, awaiting Mingyu’s arrival. As the movie played, you checked your email to see if any of the jobs you’d applied to had gotten back to you, but as you’d only submitted your applications a little over an hour ago, you had no responses.

You sighed and tapped your foot impatiently against the floor, leaning your head back to rest on top of the couch. You listened to the movie with your eyes closed, nearly drifting off to sleep when finally, right as the movie ended, there was a knock at your door.

You jumped up excitedly, a smile as your face as you ran over to the door and nearly threw it open.

“Hi,” Mingyu said, taking in your only partially covered form. You bit your lip and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. He smiled against your lips and wrapped his arms around your waist instinctively, pressing your bodies together.

“I missed you,” you said quietly into the kiss, gently biting down on his lower lip. He nearly growled at the action, allowing his tongue to explore your mouth as he moved his hands to grip your hips.

“You just saw me a few hours ago,” he grunted, one of his hands moving down your body and grabbing your ass eagerly. His kisses were sloppy and his lips soft, making it impossible to focus on anything other than him. The way his tongue ran against yours went straight to your core, warmth taking over your body.

“Well you’re just as excited as I am,” you breathed out between kisses, “so what does that mean?”

Mingyu pulled away from you and rested his forehead on yours, both of you breathing a bit heavier than normal. He smiled before pecking your lips one last time and pulling away from you.

“I would say it means I can’t get enough of you,” he replied, pecking your forehead then prancing over to your couch. You stood there for a moment, blushing slightly and trying to comprehend his cheesy comment.

“Touché,” you smiled as you turned around. Mingyu was sitting on your couch, man spreading like no other, though you didn’t mind yet as you weren’t sitting next to him.

“So where’d Wonwoo go?” he asked casually, fingers woven together behind his head, supporting it as he sat. You felt your heart fall into your stomach. How do I avoid this? You wondered. Should I even avoid this?

“He, uh, just got upset with me and wanted to take a night to clear his head, that’s all…” you trailed off, avoiding eye contact as you took a spot next to him on the couch. He turned his head to look at you, eyebrows furrowed.

“He got mad enough to leave? That must’ve been bad… do you wanna talk about it?” he offered, placing one of his hands on your thigh. You looked at him with a soft smile and shook your head.

“Not right now, maybe another time though,” you told him and he nodded in understanding. You leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek, “thank you.”

“Anytime,” he patted your leg and pecked your lips before standing up to go to the kitchen. You reveled in the fact that you both trusted each other so much. He had his secrets and you had yours, and it made you a bit nervous, but he’d given you no reason to believe that he’d ever deceive you.

“Are you-” you began asking him as he looked in one of your cabinets, when suddenly a very dark thought dawned on you.

Vampires don’t eat… they drink.

“Y/N?” Mingyu’s voice shook you out of your thoughts, though your eyes were still glued to the floor and your mouth was still hanging open in sudden realization.

“I’ve only seen you eat, what, once?” you said quietly as you looked up at him, “because you don’t need to eat...”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair as he walked over to you. He sat down on the floor in front of you and put his hands on your knees, looking into your eyes meaningfully.

“I hate this part, everyone always reacts so differently…” he gently, though nervously, ran his hands up and down your thighs, “What do you wanna know?” His voice was soft and calm, but slightly reluctant.

“I-I mean… you drink blood, right?” you asked hesitantly, again unable to believe that you were having such a conversation in real life.

“Yeah.” he replied casually, causing you to look at him confusedly.

“So do you have to… kill anyone to do it?” you twiddled your fingers.

“Well when I first turned I did, no one knows how to act the first week of being a vampire. You’re suddenly so powerful that you feel like you can do anything, so you do…” he looked at his hands, reminiscing on past choices he clearly regretted. “Draining someone is the most satisfying way to feed, but it’s messy and brutal and just… wrong, so I haven’t done it in decades.”

“So then what do you do?” you asked. You knew you should be scared, maybe disgusted even, but it wasn’t your place to judge. You had no idea what it would be like to be in his position, the things he must’ve felt, the urges he must’ve had… it couldn’t have been easy. Besides, it was 2 centuries ago. You knew he was a different person now than he was then, so if he says he hasn’t... killed anyone in a long, long while, you believed him.

“Personally, I feed on animals. I leave them alive as often as possible,” you winced at the ‘as often as possible’ part. “It’s not very filling, but it’s the safest way to do it. Sometimes Jeonghan will feed on people, on the hook ups he brings home, but he always leaves them alive and…” he hesitated for a moment, “wipes their memory after.” your jaw was on the floor and your eyes nearly fell out of your head.

“You can do that?!” you exclaimed. Mingyu chuckled lightly, shaking his head.

“Yeah, but it’s not that easy. You have to have the blood of the vampire who’s trying to wipe your memory in your system for it to work, so it’s usually not worth it.” he explained, and you were still completely astonished.

“How does he-”

“It only takes a drop, so usually he’ll put it in their drink or something. I think sometimes they even do it willingly.” he told you and you looked at him in disbelief. “I don’t know what kind of people Jeonghan hooks up with.” he shrugged.

“What about Vernon? And Chan, he just turned didn’t he? Did he feed on people?” you asked, suddenly completely immersed in the topic.

“Chan was the same way I was when I first turned, totally insatiable. I wouldn’t let him feed on people ‘cause I knew he’d go too far, so I snuck blood out of hospitals, donation trucks, anywhere I could really. And Vernon… Well Vernon’s the lucky one. Seungkwan lets him feed off of him basically whenever he needs to, and he has great self control, so it’s really not an issue.” he explained to you, nodding as he finished.

“Wow,” you tried to take it all in, “how come you ate with me then? That time you made ramen?”

“Well we can eat, it just basically does nothing for us in terms of stopping us from being hungry or keeping us “alive”, so it’s mostly recreational.” he used air quotes, helping you make sense of things. Questions would not stop coming into your head.

“Wait, so… do you poop?” you asked in all seriousness, though MIngyu threw his head back with laughter.

“Okay I think that’s enough question and answer for today,” he patted your knee and stood up, heading back into the kitchen. You pouted, genuinely unsure of how a vampire’s digestive system worked, but you decided to let it go.

You admired Mingyu’s frame as he grabbed a glass from the cabinet in front of him, then reached over to open the freezer.

“Did you say that Seungkwan lets Vernon… feed on him?” you inquired as a thought popped into your head.

“Yeah, why?” Mingyu replied as he popped ice cubes out of your ice cube tray.

“Well,” you began as you stood up, making your way over to him, “how good would you say your self control is?”

“I don’t know,” he chuckled, “depends on the situation.” He refilled the tray and put it back in the freezer before grabbing the gallon of water you kept in the refrigerator.

“What if I told you,” you wrapped your arms around his waist from behind as he opened the jug, “that we could try something like that if you wanted to?”

“Try something like what?” he asked as he began pouring the water.

“You… feeding on me.”

Mingyu didn’t respond. You were scared you’d offended him or something, though after a silence that was much too long, you heard water flowing over the cup, and soon it was on the floor.

“Mingyu!” you exclaimed as you stepped backward, the cold water nearly touching your feet. You heard him mutter a few curse words under his breath before setting the jug upright and nearly lunging for the paper towels.

“Sorry, I-, shit, I’m sorry.” he stumbled on his words as he unraveled the paper towels, ripping off a large portion and cleaning up the water he’d spilt on the counter.

“Why’d you do that?” you asked, though there was no trace of anger in your voice, just confusion. You grabbed some paper towels yourself and began wiping up the water on the floor.

“You just… surprised me, is all.” he replied, walking past you to throw his now drenched paper towels away. After the floor was dry again, you followed suit, throwing the damp sheets away before standing next to him. He had his hands pressed to the edge of the counter and was leaning on them, his head looking down at the floor.

“I-I’m sorry if I-”

“God, no,” he stopped you, “don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything, it’s just that… no one’s ever really offered me that before.” he looked over at you, his eyes soft and full of warmth.

“With how long you’ve been alive and how hot you are? I find that hard to believe.” you said playfully, reaching over to rub small, comforting circles into his back.

“I’m serious!” he giggled, looking back down at the ground. Your smile faded, realizing he didn’t believe your words to be true.

“So am I,” you stepped in front of him and looked into his eyes. “I meant it, but if you don’t want to then I’m not gonna force you.” He slowly stood up straight and cupped your face with both of his hands, tilting your head so you were looking up at him.

“You trust me that much?” he asked and you nodded. “And you’re sure about this?” you nodded once more. Mingyu leaned down as if he was going to kiss you, but stopped right in front of your lips. “I think,” he pecked your lips as gently as ever, “I’m in love with you.”

You felt your heart swell in your chest and your cheeks flare up with heat, smiling even though your face was still encompassed by Mingyu’s hands.

“So soon?!” you asked, not even bothering to try and contain your excitement. He laughed at you, releasing you from his grip and turning to grab his cup.

“Hey, I said I think,” he smirked before taking a sip of water. Your eyes wandered to the floor, and your mind to the events that happened just moments earlier when he walked through the door. Your playful manner suddenly dissipated as you remembered how his hands felt on your body, how his lips felt against yours.

“Then why did you stop?” you asked quietly.

“Stop what?” he looked at you, clearly confused as he set it glass back on the counter.

“You know, when you got here... and I basically threw myself at you…” you eluded, trying to get him to understand.

“Yeeeah?” he looked at you, everything you were implying going completely over his head. You rolled your eyes and scoffed.

“I’m not dressed like this,” you motioned to your ‘outfit’, “for no reason!”

Mingyu chuckled. “I figured that’s just what you wear around the house!” He defended himself.

“With no pants on? When I knew you were coming over?” you questioned, arms crossed. He simply nodded as if he was stating the obvious. You sighed defeatedly as you walked away from him.

“For a man who’s been alive for over 200 years you sure can be clueless sometimes!” you yelled as you opened the door to your room, heading for your bed.

Before you knew it, Mingyu was bursting through the door frame and picking you up. He threw your back down on the bed as you laughed, bouncing up and down slightly before he climbed on top of you.

“You think I’m clueless huh?” he asked, his tone and facial expression totally serious. Your smile instantly faded, eyes widening at his demeanor and the sudden close proximities of your bodies. You went to reply, but he spoke again. “Think I didn’t wanna rip this thing off you the second I saw you?”

He crashed his lips to yours as he lifted your leg up so it was bent at the knee before running his hand up your thigh and tugging at the hem of your shirt.

“Then why didn’t you?” you asked against his lips, running your hands through his hair as he caressed your side.

“Cause I didn’t wanna be wrong,” he moved his lips down to kiss your neck, a moan escaping your lips as the warmth of his mouth encapsulated your skin, “but now I know I wasn’t.” he kissed along your jaw, his tongue swiping across your sensitive skin, sending shivers down your spine.

You reached forward and began pulling Mingyu’s shirt up, causing him to pull away from you and take it off. He looked down at you, your shirt having ridden up to just underneath your breasts.

“What are these?” he asked, a smug expression taking over his features as he ran his thumb along the top of your underwear. You smirked up at him, glad that your plan was working.

“Oh, nothing,” you replied as you confidently pulled your shirt the rest of the way off.

“Oh my god,” Mingyu groaned, throwing his head back before taking in the sight before him that he could not believe he was lucky enough to be seeing. “You’re so fucking sexy,” he said in a low voice as he returned to kissing you. He was rough and passionate, teeth nearly clashing together as he ground his hardening member against your clothed core.

“Mingyu,” you moaned lightly as you gently pulled his face away from yours, “I wanna try something.” he nodded at your words and you pushed him off of you.

“Sit,” you directed as you motioned toward the top of your bed. He looked at you curiously, but obliged and sat with his back against your headboard. You climbed onto his lap, legs on either side of his waist. He looked at you, admiration in his eyes as he ran his hands down your sides and over your hips.

“I like this,” he stated happily and you smiled, pulling him toward you and reconnecting your lips. Your tongue ran across his bottom lip, his hands moving down to your ass, grabbing it as he inhaled sharply. “God you’re amazing,” he breathed against your lips..

“We haven’t even gotten to the good part,” you said, your voice sultry as you began kissing his neck, leaving a hickey here and there. Whimpers left his mouth as you kissed him, grinding yourself down on his crotch. His hard cock rubbed against your clit perfectly, your underwear dampening. He moved his hands up and unclasped your bra with ease, tossing it on the floor. He groped your breasts with vigor, loving the feeling of your breasts in his hands. Your skin was on fire and his cool hands felt amazing against your nipples

You begrudgingly took his hands off of your breasts and began kissing down his body, your hand moving to palm him through his pants. He let out a low moan, the combination of your mouth on him and your hand palming him feeling better than he could’ve imagined.

Once you reached the band of his underwear, you pulled his pants down his legs and tossed them aside. You placed your hands on his hips as you ran your tongue along his clothed member, placing light kisses along it as he moaned beneath you.

“Y/N please…” he begged breathlessly, eyes closed with his head leaning against your headboard. You smiled at his desperation and slowly removed his underwear before throwing it to where his pants were. You turned back toward him and stared at his member in front of you… he was… gigantic? You swallowed your pride, though you were worried that he may be too much for you to handle.

Instead of letting your insecurity show, you licked a long, slow stripe up his shaft, a guttural moan falling from Mingyu’s lips. You swirled your tongue around his tip, collecting the precum that threatened to fall from it. He let out a shaky breath and you looked up at him. His eyelids were heavy, but his eyes were on you, his chest falling up and down in a quick rhythm. You smirked at his fucked-out state and took as much of him as you could in your mouth, nearly gagging when his tip reached the back of your throat.

“Y/N…” he whimpered, causing you to moan as you pulled off of him. Something about Mingyu, who had such a big effect on you, being so weak at your fingertips had you dripping. “That feels so good.”

“Good, I’m glad.” you smiled as you jerked him off, using your saliva as a lubricant. You moved your head back down and took the top of his member in your mouth, continuing to move your hand up and down the bottom of it. The sounds coming from your room were absolutely filthy, but admittedly, you loved it.

Mingyu moved one of his hands into your hair as he whined, his bottom lip nearly bleeding from how hard he was biting it. You moved your mouth off of him and he almost began to complain, but then he noticed you moving lower. As you twisted your hand up and down his member, you took one of his balls into your mouth.

“Jesus Y/N,” he nearly yelled, back arching off of your headboard. You took your hand off of his cock and put him back in your mouth, moving your hand to his balls and massaging them gently. “Fuck I’m gonna cum,” he whispered, his words causing you to moan against him. The vibration sent a feeling of euphoria through his entire body, his seed shooting into the back of your throat as he moaned your name.

Though it had been a while since you’d blown someone, you thought you handled yourself pretty well. You tried not to make a face as you swallowed his load. It wasn’t your favorite thing to do, but you were by no means a quitter.

You sat up and fixed your hair, allowing yourself to catch your breath as you admired Mingyu’s figure. His eyes were closed, his arms limp at his side as he attempted to recover from the whirlwind you had just thrown him into. He looked amazing… ethereal even.

“Was that okay?” you asked innocently as you crawled toward him. He looked at you like you had 3 heads.

“Are you kidding me?” he questioned, but you just shrugged as you went to straddle him once more. Before you could place your hands on his shoulders, he was flipping the two of you over so that you were on your back. “You’re not gonna remember your own name when I’m done with you,” he groaned against your lips as he kissed you. He ground against you and your eyes shot open as you broke the kiss.

“Are you hard?” you asked in utter disbelief.

“Yes,” he said impatiently, spreading your legs further apart for more access.

“But you just-”

He sat up and looked you in the eyes knowingly, “Vampire thing.”

“Oooooh…” you nodded as he returned his attention to your lips, the information you’d just learned arousing you even further.

His lips were soft against yours, which was a great contrast to the way he kissed you. Your tongue swiped his, messily getting lost in each other’s tastes. You ran your hands through his hair and tugged on it lightly, making him moan quietly into your mouth.

His lips moved to your neck, teeth lightly grazing across your skin every now and then. You wondered if he would bite you, as you’d given him permission, but his lips merely trailed down to your chest instead. His hand caressed your thigh as he kissed the expanse of your breasts, seemingly covering every inch of skin with kisses. Though, being the tease he is, he kissed around your nipples that were hardened with arousal, which was exactly where you wanted his mouth in that moment. He looked up at you with a smirk, knowing exactly what he was doing.

He took his time kissing his way down your stomach. He gently ran his hand up and down your side, often whispering sweet nothings against your skin. The pace of your breathing quickened as he moved further down your body, letting out a whimper as he licked up your navel toward your belly button. He hooked his pointer finger around the waistband of your underwear, pulling them off of you in the blink of an eye.

Mingyu brought both of his hands to your knees and spread them as far as they would go. You became slightly self-conscious as he did and said nothing, he simply stared at your dripping core. Before you knew it, he was lunging toward your center, his tongue attacking your clit as if he’d been starved of your taste for days.

He took turns licking long stripes up your folds and taking your clit in his mouth, sucking and toying with it with his tongue. The noises you were making were uncontrollable at that point, a loud moan falling from your lips when one of his fingers entered you.

“Mingyu…” you whined, your hand making your way to his hair.

“You’re so beautiful Y/N,” he groaned against your core, “So beautiful....”

Your cheeks flushed even more at his words. They were cheesy, but they rubbed you in exactly the right way.

He sucked on your clit as his fingers curled inside you, eyes rolling into the back of your head as your back arched off your bed. The obscene noises you were making went straight to Mingyu’s crotch, causing him to rut his hips against the bed as he ate you out.

He added a second finger inside of you and removed his lips from your center, causing you to whine in disapproval. He began kissing the inside of your thighs, biting down on the skin occasionally and replaced the feeling of his tongue with his finger, putting pressure on your clit as he rubbed you toward your climax.

“Oh my god, more, please,” you begged, your other hand running through your own hair as your orgasm built up inside of you. Your breathing stuttered when he returned his tongue to your clit, moving it in a similar fashion as he did his thumb and the sensation was one you’d never felt before. A chill ran down your spine when the coil in your stomach snapped, your climax tearing through you with immense force as the combination of how good his tongue and fingers felt finally hit you.

Your back arched off the bed once more, feral noises coming from your throat mixed with the sound of his name falling off your lips was like music to Mingyu’s ears. He didn’t stop his movements until your grip on his hair loosened and you were whining for him to stop.

He sat back on his heels before licking his lips and sucking his fingers clean. He smirked down at you, crawling back on top of your fucked-out form and pecking your lips lightly. The way you looked in that moment, a light sheen of sweat covering your forehead along with your eyelids that threatened to fall shut, made Mingyu’s heart swell.

“I think I’ve changed my mind,” he said as he lovingly moved some stray hairs away from your face.

“Yeah? About what?” you asked as you admired his now messy features, reveling in his touch.

“I’m definitely in love with you.”

For some reason your body had woken you up almost an hour before you needed to be awake, but you supposed there was no harm in that. You woke up against Mingyu’s bare chest, a light snore falling from his lips, along with a wee bit of drool. You thought it was more endearing than anything else as you stared at him, nothing but admiration in your eyes and a warm feeling in your heart.

He was in love with you? So soon? Your mind didn’t want to believe it, but your heart couldn’t help falling for his words. Even if he didn’t mean it, even if it was premature, it felt right. It didn’t scare you. It didn’t make your heart feel like retreating even further into your body and convincing you to run away. You wanted his words to be genuine, and similarly, you wanted to be able to say it back to him just as truthfully someday soon. You knew it wouldn’t take you long to fully fall for him, there was just one thing you needed to take care of first.

Wonwoo. The only reason you were able to sleep the previous night was because of how worn out Mingyu had made you, and you were grateful for that. You became increasingly anxious as you waited for your best friend to come home, not wanting to talk about the situation, but recognizing that you desperately needed to.

You slowly slid your bare body out of your bed, careful not to wake Mingyu. You walked over to pick up your discarded clothes from last night, slipping the shirt you were wearing then back over your head. You were feeling cold, so you walked over to your dresser and pulled out a pair of pajama pants, slipping those on as well.

You heard your front door open and you stood up straight, panic rushing through your body. Your eyes were wide as you weren’t expecting Wonwoo to be home so soon and before that moment you thought you might actually have some time to prepare what you wanted to say to him. Though your mind was telling you to cover Mingyu with blankets and pillows so he couldn’t be seen and stay in your room and be as silent as possible, your feet completely disregarded your thoughts as you began walking toward your bedroom door. You opened it and began walking toward your best friend who was now in the kitchen. You reached his back that was facing you and hesitated.

“Wonwoo?” you said quietly, reaching up and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off. “Do you think we could talk? Please?” you kept your voice quiet, gentle. He turned around slowly until he was facing you.

“There’s nothing to talk about, Y/N.” he shook his head and shrugged his broad shoulders. You looked at him, loads of sympathy in your eyes.

“Yes there is. I’m not okay with things being so awkward between us and I know you aren’t either.” you replied, trying to maintain eye contact, but he kept his eyes on the floor.

“And how are we supposed to make things not awkward?” he asked, arms crossed as he mindlessly swiped his sock-covered foot across the tile floor.

“Listen, if I had known you liked me before I met Mingyu, he wouldn’t even be in the picture right now. I never really admitted it, but I’ve always liked you too. Even now I’m not totally sure how I feel, I just know that I’m with Mingyu now and I really, really like him and you’re with someone else now too, so I think we should both just keep doing what we’re doing,” you let out a deep breath, Wonwoo finally looking into your eyes. “I know it’s not that easy, but… just try and focus on moving on. I’ll give you the space and time you need, I don’t want you feeling uncomfortable here, and I don’t wanna stop being friends.” you explained as calmly as you could, you didn’t want to get too emotional in fear of what you might say.

“Friends?” Wonwoo asked, disbelief in his voice. You were suddenly worrying again, wondering if you’d said something wrong. You went to defend yourself, but he spoke before you. “I thought we were best friends?” a smile creeped onto Wonwoo’s face and you rolled your eyes.

“You scared me!” you swatted his arm, barely taking note of the fact that he was pulling you into a hug, a light chuckle leaving his lips. You’d missed his laugh.

“I’m sorry,” he hugged you tightly, “we just never got the timing right, that’s all.” he rubbed your back and you nodded against his toned chest.

“If something’s meant to happen, it will.” was all you could think to reply. You believed it, you really did, and if it was fated that the two of you end up together, you knew it would happen somehow.

You stayed in the comfort of his arms for a little bit before pulling away. You looked up into his eyes and the moment you did you knew you shouldn’t have. You got lost in his soft, cat-like orbs before admiring his nose that came to a perfect point. You moved to his lips, and when you had stared at them for far longer than was acceptable, you heard footsteps behind you.

You panicked, immediately pushing Wonwoo away and attempting to collect yourself before turning around. Mingyu was just standing there, fully dressed with a look on his face that was an uneasy combination of disappointment and insecurity. Your face fell upon seeing him. How much had he heard?

Wonwoo looked between the two of you, but he said nothing. He merely walked to his room as quickly as he could, avoiding Mingyu’s eyes along the way. When you heard Wonwoo’s bedroom door shut, you bolted toward Mingyu and prepared to explain yourself.

“Mingyu-”

“Why…” he sighed, interrupting you, “Why did he leave yesterday?” his voice broke a little as he spoke, your heart along with it.

“He just-” you so badly wanted to keep things vague, make excuses even, but you knew the truth would come out at some point, and he deserved to know anyway. You ran your hands through your hair frustratedly. “He told me that he has feelings for me.” you admitted defeatedly. Mingyu let out a breathy laugh of disbelief, his expression quickly turning sour again.

“Did you mean it?” he asked quietly, seriously. He was looking right at you, all of his emotions on display.

“Mean what?”

“What you said… about me.” his jaw clenched.

“That… that I like you?”

“No,” his annoyance finally got the best of him, “When you said that I wouldn’t even be in the picture right now if you had known Wonwoo liked you before you met me. Did you mean that?” his voice was harsh as he took a step closer to you. You knew he wouldn’t hurt you, but it was the first time you’d ever felt scared of him. You knew in that moment you could either lift his spirits or crush them, but in order to be truthful, you could only do the latter.

“I-” you let out a sigh, closing your eyes. “Yes, but trust me-”

“That’s all I needed to hear.” he cut you off and headed toward the door.

“Mingyu please-” you followed him, but before you could finish your thought, the door was slamming in your face, Mingyu on the other side of it.

You leaned your forehead against the door, tears swelling in your eyes. You couldn’t believe you’d been so careless with your words when Mingyu was just in the other room. The worst part was that you knew you meant them, but you still wouldn’t trade what you had with him for anything… or anyone. If something is meant to happen it will, your mind repeated, and you ended up with Mingyu; you knew it was no coincidence.

You felt your heart nearly tear in half when you remembered he’d told you he was in love with you less than 12 hours ago. Warm tears began falling from your eyes, streaming down your cheeks as you ran into your room, slamming the door behind you.

You couldn’t manage going any further. You leaned against the back of your door, your face in your hands as you cried. You couldn’t imagine how horrible he must’ve felt, hearing you say out loud that you would’ve completely disregarded him if only another man had gotten to you before him. You never thought you would hurt him, and by no means did you ever want to.

As you wiped the salty droplets caused by nothing but your own stupidity off of your cheeks, you saw your phone screen light up and begin to vibrate from its place on the floor. You walked over to it and picked it up, seeing that it was your mother calling. You texted your parents frequently, but your face scrunched in confusion as you rarely ever called each other. You attempted to pull yourself together, drying your tears once more as you answered the call, putting the phone up to your ear.

“Mom?”

“Y/N? Sweetie are you okay? Are you hurt?” she asked frantically, seemingly through tears.

“What? Mom, I’m fine. What’s going on?”

“We were robbed last night.”

a/n: ..hehe :D

124 notes · View notes

cowboyified · 3 years ago

Text

Below are some WIPs I’m releasing into the wild. They were all written at different times over the past two years so any mistakes/cliches you can blame on past June, I don’t know them.

Go, be free.

This first one I think is the one I’m most fond of. I had such a vision for it; bottlecaps in trees, river swimming, making out against the fridge, all that good stuff you get with weecest.

The summer Sam is seventeen they stay in one place for long enough Dean starts referring to it as ‘home’.

It’s an old farmhouse, miles from any other structure, bar an outhouse and hay shed. There’s a porch running the length of the front and back, the wooden boards pulled up from their nails, wavy with the weather. Weatherboard paint peeling, wallpaper inside torn and missing in most places.

They’re squatting, technically. The property owned by a family saved by hunters once, friends of friends of Bobby’s, too distraught by what they’d witnessed to raise their kids on cursed land. Dean had told Sam that Dad had been told by Bobby that had been told by Pastor Jim that it was chupacabras. A whole pack of ‘em, feeding off the lambs in the back paddock, tried to take a bite out of the baby girl and Sam had said, “As if man, those things are tiny, I’ve seen pictures, you could kick one and it would limp away like a fucking chihuaha, you scared of chihuahas, huh, Dean?” But Sam still hikes his sheet up under his chin when he hears scuffling under their window between sleep.

There’s remnants of the house’s past inhabitants still scattered around the place. Sam had stood and slid two inches on the wheels of a tiny replica car that had been jammed under the couch the second day they arrived, piffed it at his brother’s head, who’d caught it, exclaimed that it was Camero, dude, treat her with some respect and had sat it on top of the fridge.

The bookshelf in the corner of their shared bedroom holds mostly dust and tattered occult books stolen from libraries from all over the country, left by hunters who have found what they’ve needed and moved on. There are a few of the worst Stephen King novels shoved haphazardly on the top shelf and Sam finds something funny in that, the irony in enjoying bad horror when the real deal lurks behind the screen door.

Dean gives him a look when Sam pulls down and cracks open a copy of The Tommyknockers, snorts, “Haven’t you read that one already?” and Sam says, tucking himself into bed, “Yeah, it fucking sucks, King was royally off his head while writing it, that’s why it’s so good.” Sam finishes three quarters of it in one sitting while listening to Dean’s quiet snores from the other side of the room.

It’s a ten minute drive to the closest town, an off the highway, invisible to the outside world, kind of one-street community. No reason to take the exit if you don’t already know it’s there, one store, one gas station, one bar in an old brick post office building, unfitting, the carpet pulled up at the corners but home to the best fries Sam has ever had in his life.

Sam follows Dean out to the courtyard, neither of them are legally old enough to drink but there’s nothing else to do but to get respectably drunk in a place like this, anyone that has lived long enough in the true country is some kind of functioning alcoholic, so Dean orders a beer and isn’t asked for ID. In a town small enough for everyone to know every intricate detail in the threads of dirty laundry, they are foreigners. No one knows where they’re from or where they’re going and Sam knows that Dean likes it that way.

It’s never been a secret that Sam prefers to feel like he has a part in everyday normalcy. Dean thrives under anonymity, gets a kick out of it because it makes him feel dangerous. He had stopped accompanying Sam to school two states ago, a silent agreement with their father when Dean had come home early and helped John cut splits into the tips of bullets instead. Like hell I’m signing up for compulsory extra curricular activities. What’s the point in making friends with people whose biggest concerns are the answers to whatever bullshit test and who fucked who last Friday?

Finding comfort in a nine-to-five kind of community is a flaw Sam’s been burdened to deal with.

It’s early afternoon, the courtyard is empty and the table they chose rocks on its legs every time Dean slides his drink over for Sam to share. It’s bitter and Sam hasn’t had enough beer in his life to know if it’s supposed to be like that or if it has just soured from the long journey it took to get from the brewery to their glass. He drinks it and doesn’t grimace because his brother is looking at him through the rays of warm country sun.

“Tastes like piss, huh,” Dean says, leaning forward out of the light so Sam can see him clearly again. He takes back the glass.

“S’not that bad,” Sam replies, rubbing the leftover condensation into his hand, doesn’t look at Dean, finds it hard these days, twists in his gut all wrong. Sam knows why.

His brother hums, “There’s gotta be something else to do around here.”

Sam thinks, Dad’s left the car, we can go wherever we want, but doesn’t say it because his brother is loyal to a disastrous fault.

That’s a recurring thought. Sam in the shotgun seat, his brother behind the wheel, driving away. Just away, to someplace else and they’d be okay because they’d have each other and all Sam ever needs is his brother, like water. But John will be back in two weeks, term starts again in a month and he needs his father to sign the enrollment forms. Two more years.

“You see the old dredge outside of town?” Sam asks, remembers passing it when they arrived, all twisted, rusting metal, the bones of it against the setting sun.

“What did I tell you about respecting your elders?”

“You told me that they all smell like porridge and are easily susceptible to sleight of hand. No, Dean, Dredge,” Sam stresses. “Big rusty old machine that pulls minerals out of water.”

“Looking to strike big, Sammy?”

“Yeah, you see, my family is poor, brother at home too dumb to get a job. Our father went to get milk and never came back,” Sam sniffs for effect. “I can’t go home empty handed again, sir.”

“Ah, a real sob story,” Dean nods in understanding, tips his head back and finishes the beer. “Let’s get out there then, sonny. We shan't let that simpleton, downright fool of a brother go hungry.” Dean jabs Sam in the ribs when he stands, hard enough for him to gasp, gets Sam’s head under his arm before he can recover. Sam claws embarrassingly at his brother’s torso, face pressed warm into the side of Dean’s waist.

“I will pray for us young Samuel, for I too, dream of riches,” his brother is exclaiming, tripping them out and onto the street. “I only ask that we share whatever bounty dredged as I saw the most exquisite pony a few miles back and I simply must have it.”

And Sam thinks - with his flushed cheek hard against Dean’s skin through the thin sweaty fabric of his shirt, heart beating too fast against his ribs in a way that has nothing to do with exhaustion - you can have it all.

---

Sam’s brother’s perpetual state of being is ten miles over the speed limit; this can be applied to almost every aspect of him. Dean goes and goes and rarely stops. They’re pushing double that out of town, north of their property, into the forever stretch of flat land and Sam loses himself in it. That idea of away, of going and going and that Dean could take him because he’s an expert in the field.

The Impala blasts Born To Be Wild and Sam imagines the lyrics spreading out over the dry grass. He rolls the window down and throws his head out, trying his best to keep his eyes open against the road’s wind. The sun beats down, warmth soaking through and into his bones and Sam laughs as the cattle turn to catch a glimpse of them soaring.

Dean pulls him in, tugs at the back of his shirt, says something along the lines of, what are you, a dog? Should get you a shock collar for all the times you’re a little bitch, but Sam can��t hear him over the roaring of the open window and the look of transparent glee on Dean’s face, it’s loud and assaulting and Sam has to turn away because seeing Dean like that wobbles him dangerously from the nonchalant facade he has going on in relation to how he feels about his brother. But mostly his face hurts from smiling too wide.

Used as a warm up last year. Boyking!Sam

He thinks he’s in Louisiana, maybe. That he got here in the tray of a pickup and that he couldn’t feel the wind in his hair like maybe he should. The driver had stopped for a piss-break and Sam had snapped his neck without his hands.

He rubs them together now, tries to feel guilty but there’s nothing to feel guilty about because his hands are clean; he doesn’t have to use them anymore.

Sam thinks he’s in Louisiana because he stepped out of the truck and into a wet kind of heat. There’s a church with thick greenery growing over the roof and white wood that’s been mold-blackened by the humidity. He laughs to the darkness because it's very funny to him that he’s driven himself subconsciously to a place of grace.

He skips up the steps, two at a time, gleefully. The smell of the bayou and rotting wood has put him in a good mood. The lock snaps when he blinks, the chain unraveling and snaking into a coil at his feet. The doors open for him and maybe he did that with his mind too, or maybe they were just expecting him.

The church has been used recently, its interior better kept than the outside, bibles tucked neatly in the backs of pews, ribbons tied into plaits. The white of the moon falls in blankets through the windows, shadows of leaves moving over the floor like rippling water and the bust of Mother Mary prays for him at the altar.

Sam spreads his arms and addresses her, says to the room at large, “Shall I repent for my sins, oh Lord?” and it echoes, gives him goosebumps, a current under his skin. He has an audience here because God is omnipresent, this is a place of worship and Sam has always been good at that.

A church in Louisiana, standing before a plaster of his mother’s namesake in a church for a God he used to think could have some defying factor in a destiny that was always going to be concrete. It’s funny, blatantly. Sam puts his hands gently to Mary’s cold face, kisses her on her lips before crushing her head, spraying ceramic.

Sam stands behind the lectern, hands red with his own blood now, sticking the pages of the Good Book. He’s read it before anyway.

“Am I to be forgiven?”

Last is a casefic I had planned out in 2019. I didn’t get very far into the actual writing part of it, but I still think the setting is cool, less so the plot I had in mind.

Just outside of Bridgeport, Connecticut there’s a community built on a sandbar. A small secluded semi-island, connected to the mainland by a mile-long beachfront. A town of forty to fifty now abandoned, vandalised residences.

The police find the bodies of the boys there, bleeding out and into the sand, each other’s skin caught under their fingernails.

Sam watches as his brother pulls the sheet back from one of the corpses, laying blue on the steel morgue tray. He’s a kid, a boy, not even eighteen. Hairless, lanky, multiple stab wounds puckered around his belly and Sam thinks he does not look peaceful for someone who is meant to be at rest.

Dean is quieter than usual, his body language stiff. They’ve seen their fair share of dead kids but Sam thinks that this one might look a little too much like an adolescent version of himself. Shaggy brown hair, too long limbs, college on the horizon. Sam blankets the sheet back over the boy’s face and hears his brother exhale in what he thinks might be relief.

The coroner tells them that the other two are the same, besides the youngest one. He’d been blinded, thumbs pushed through his eyes until they popped like grapes. He asks if they want to see him too and Sam says no, thank you, we’ve got what we need.

Which is a whole lot of nothing, but they’ve only just arrived and there’s evidence that doesn’t involve corpses that needs to be checked.

“Pussied out in there huh, Sammy?” Dean says as they’re walking down the funeral home’s front steps, past the manicured roses and trimmed lawn. You see these perfect hedges? We’ll treat your dead mother with the same detailed care!

Sam pulls at his tie and scoffs because he knows he wasn’t the only one uncomfortable standing in the morgue; cases that involve kids always rub them both wrong.

#wip dump #wincest #my words

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husbandograveyard · 4 years ago

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Congrats on 300 followers Hzael! You deserve it! Can I ask for 42 (I'm going to save you from the terrible date you're having) with Aizawa? Thank you! OwO

Hi love! Here’s some knight in shining armor Shota to save you from the other douchebags on donkeys! Hope you enjoy!

Come save me - Shota Aizawa x Reader

Cliche with bae event Prompt #42: come save me from the terrible date I’m having Character: Shota Aizawa - Word count: 1.7k

Hunger. Regret. Embarrassment. More regret. Anger. Frustration. A whirlpool of emotions was going through you as you kept your expression as neutral as possible, aggressively cutting the piece of steak in front of you and eating a bit to try and distract you from the man sitting in front of you, talking while he barely made eye contact. You weren’t exactly sure what he was talking about at the moment, but you couldn’t care less. You wanted out of here. Now. How did you even get in this situation?

After dating around some in your circle of friends to no avail, you had finally turned to online dating. You made loads of profiles, installed all the apps, did the matching, the swiping, you name it. Out of the hundreds of possible candidates, you immediately deleted anyone that wasn’t looking for anything serious. You were no teenager anymore, you had a job and a home and you were ready to settle down completely.

Your biggest help in this adventure had been your coworkers and best friends, Hizashi and Shota. The three of you had gone to school together and now all three of you were teaching at U.A. Any guy you’d ever date had to go past these two, and honestly, you didn’t mind. Their protectiveness was endearing and they were pretty good judges of character.

They had been helping you weed out matches, even secretly (but not so secretly) tagged along on dates to make sure it wasn’t some creep. Even though you’d be perfectly fine fending off a creep by yourself, you were a capable hero after all, you really liked them looking out for you.

Now for this date, it had been a little different. You had gotten this match from one of the more expensive sites. The kind where so-called experts matched people based on their personalities and profiles. It took you a whole long time filling in a question list for them, but when you got your match, you were not disappointed. Dating apps and such made you a little more shallow, looks were the first thing you saw on those, but hell, you were pleasantly surprised. Your ultimate match was extremely good-looking. But almost insanely so. Shota grabbed your phone, said ‘probably a douche’, and gave it back. Hizashi only laughed at the remark and let you first read up on his profile.

Your match did a normal office job but had an intelligence-based quirk that allowed him to understand everyone regardless of the language they spoke, which he used in his line of work. He was two years older than you, stable income, own house. He did some volunteering in his free time and most of your hobbies seemed to line up or were compatible at least. It was almost too good to be true, which was exactly what Hizashi said.

“Well, who pays so much money for such a personal dating service and then goes around and lies on their profile? That’d be stupid.” You were zooming in on the pictures he shared, desperately trying to find traces of photoshop, but to no avail. Right as you were about to say something, he sent you the first message. You replied enthusiastically, and a nice conversation was born.

Everything seemed to be going smoothly, and your match had proposed to go have dinner somewhere. It was a pretty fancy restaurant he proposed, but you accepted, it was a nice change to maybe dress up and have an actual fancy date. You were keeping realistic scenario’s in your head but you couldn’t help but wonder if this guy was maybe the one you had been waiting for all along.

The date came along and you were actually in a sour mood before you even got there. Mostly because Shota had been increasingly mean about the guy the more you gushed about him. At some point, you had made a remark about jealousy, and that had caused quite a discussion until Hizashi broke it up and told you to get ready, and he’d be off for a guy’s night with Shota. It had been a while after all, and that way you wouldn’t even have to worry about either of them spying on you during your date.

How you were regretting that now. You wished they had spied on you because this date was a disaster. He had been over twenty minutes late, didn’t tell you the name of the reservation so you were waiting outside in the cold until he finally showed up. He looked great, just like in his pictures, but way less well-kempt than he had been looking on his pictures. You had dressed up in your best dress, had gone to the hairdresser to get your hair on point, applied a subtle amount of makeup to look your best, and appropriate for the date and the location. He was wearing some jeans, a T-shirt that had some spots on it that you didn’t even want to know about.

You smiled anyway, greeting him by holding out your hand, not too keen on hugging a total stranger, but he had gone straight in for a kiss on the cheek, and you noticed how he didn’t smell nice either. It really busted your mood, even more, were you only worth so little effort that he showed up like that? But you kept his hobbies, and all the nice things he had said in chat in mind, and went into the restaurant, putting all your hope in the person he was in your chat messages, which had been a terrible idea.

The food was expensive and way too little, and this man had not stopped talking about himself. The volunteering was a one-time gig, ‘always pleases the ladies’ he had smugly added to the story, and many other things on his profile weren’t exactly lies, but were mostly polished up truths to make him look better. He had gone as far as interrupting you multiple times even after he himself had asked you a question, degraded female heroes and generally any woman who worked because ‘you gotta let men do the job’. He expected his partner to drop their job for him, so he could be the sole provider. He was looking for a housewife, but the way he described it, was more a live-in-maid he could have some intimacy with as well, just whenever he pleased. It made you sick to your stomach and you wanted to leave, but that was not so easy in such a fancy restaurant without possibly causing a commotion.

You briefly excused yourself from the table, and he gave you a pissed-off look because you had clearly interrupted whatever very important thing he was saying. You made a beeline for the bathroom, contemplating for a second to just walk out but again, you had some kind of reputation to uphold. Once in the bathroom, you immediately dialed Shota’s number. He picked up within seconds.

“Let me guess. He’s a douche.” He wasn’t even trying to hide the smug tone in his voice. “He’s terrible… please come save me?” “I don’t know if I can. I mean… I cannot possibly interrupt your date with this perfect, wonderful, beautf-” “Shota I swear to god, get your ass over here. I need you right now.” It was silent for a few seconds, and then you heard a low chuckle before he spoke up again. “One rescue mission coming up.”

He had not put in the slightest effort to hide his annoyance, but you knew he’d show up. You refrained from splashing cold water in your face because you didn’t want to mess up your makeup and headed back into the dining room. He made some remark on how long you took and you focussed back on your plate, inwardly praying Shota wouldn’t take too much time in getting there.

Luckily for you, it was only about fifteen minutes later that you heard some commotion and before you could even look up what had made some other customers make surprised gasps Shouta was standing at your table. In full Eraserhead gear. Not that that differed so much from his usual clothes, but still, very recognizable. You frowned. “Wha-?” “No time for questions. It’s an emergency, got your costume in the car.” You nodded and stood up, apologizing to your date, who was too speechless and too busy comprehending what was going on to come up with a retort.

Shota looked him up and down once as you were making your way to the exit, sending the man one more apologetic look and wave. “You look like you can handle the bill. Hero duties call sir. Good night”

You got in the car, and not five minutes later Shota got in too and started to drive. You weren’t really sure what to say or what to do. “Where’s…” “Hizashi? Got drunk and got home. I just dropped him off when you called.” “Oh…” You were feeling strangely uncomfortable, but you were not really sure why exactly, probably because the argument from earlier was not really resolved yet. “Shota, I’m sorry about-” “Don’t mention it. I could’ve reacted more maturely”

You nodded, looking ahead again. No use for deep discussions when Shota had a road to focus on. You looked around and were surprised to not be going back in the direction of your house. “Where are we going?” “A decent place” “What do you mean?” “Well, it’d be sad if you dressed up all beautiful like that for no reason. I know a place.” You blushed a little and looked at him, his eyes focussed on the road as he said that almost matter-of-a-factly. “Like… like a date?” you almost didn’t dare as k. “Like a date.”

You were speechless. In all your dating adventures you had never even considered the option that the perfect match was around you already all along. “If you’re up for that, if not, I can just drop you off at home?” “No no…”, you smiled, “I’d like that. No surprises with you.” “No stupid profile needed.” He smiled a little from behind the steering wheel and you felt the corners of your mouth curl up too. “No stupid profiles needed indeed.”

You knew what you were going to do when you got home: delete all that bullshit from your laptop and phone. Cause this time, it could really be the one.

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nxtehqs · 5 years ago

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hiii, everyone !! i’m lacey. i’m 22 years old in the gmt+1 tmz with she/her pronouns. i am beyond excited to get into this rp !! i’m so glad you all decided to apply and fulfill my dreams. this is a really old muse of mine that i’m really excited to get to play once again. i hope you all hate love him just as much as i do !! excuse how terribly rushed this intro is, but i’m lazy and i gotta help my paps with something real quick. enjooyyyy.

[ harry styles, cismale, 21 ] did you see NATHAN ‘NATE’ SINCLAIR ? looking as broke as ever. rumor has it HE is usually -CYNICAL and -OBSTINATE but is also known to be +PLACID and +DEBONAIR. we’ll see about that. they kind of remind me of DEEP FROWN CREASES, RESTLESS NIGHTS, MORNING AFTER HAIR. maybe because they’re a SCORPIO. they’ve been living around here for 7 YEARS. i wonder when they’ll make it out…

**please feel free to read up on nate’s statistics HERE !!

nathan ‘nate’ sinclair was born on november 7th, 1998 to christopher and amelia sinclair. he was the middle child of three.

and as the stereotype goes, the middle child is the forgotten child. which was definite for nate. he always got his older brothers hand me downs. for christmas, he got toys that his older brother had gotten before that he was now bored of

the sinclair family were originally born and raised in a small village known as lacock, wiltshire in england.

christopher and amelia sinclair were two extremely religious parents who devoted their lives to the church and and spoke highly of the bible. nate’s father would read a passage before each meal they shared together.

money was always an issue for the sinclair family. they were almost only going to send the eldest brother to school because they couldn’t afford it. but christopher prayed every day for a better life for their family

and that was when christopher was offered a huge job opportunity across the globe in south carolina, usa. he was convinced that this was as a result of the workings of god.

not too long later, their home in lacock was sold and the family got the most affordable flight to south carolina.

they moved to crawford when nate was fourteen years old

nate immediately took a liking to the states. previously, he had always struggled to make friends because he wasn’t one to talk much. he’d always been socially awkward. but living here, he made a friend in his neighborhood quite quickly ( AVAILABLE PLOT ? )

his siblings were his friends before but when they moved to the usa, his brother and sister found their own friends and quickly, they drifted apart. what was once endless laughter and cheers quickly turned into yelling and constant arguing.

when nate was 17, he was around that age when he was beginning to explore his sexuality. the worst mistake he ever made was doing just that but at his own home. that night when his dad walked in on his son straddling the lap of some boy was by far the worst night of his life. ( AVAILABLE PLOT ? )

he grabbed his arm and pulled him off the other, and yelled ‘how could you?!’ over and over, as if nate had done something wrong.

for months, christopher didn’t speak to his son. he watched him with disapproving stares, eyes of pure disgust. the tension at the dinner table was awful. and nate noticed how his dad always make sure to quote particular passages in the bible. every night.

“For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her,” or “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh,”

Nate tried to explain to his father that he did love women. but he loved men too. and that wasn’t a bad thing. christopher didn’t want to hear a word of it, and insisted that there was something wrong with nate for him to think like that.

not even half a year later, nate’s dad lost his job. the only source of income was nate’s mother, amelia, on minimum wage at the local cafe. immediately, christopher took it out on nate. he blamed it on him, insisting that it was god punishing them for nate’s sins.

the constant mental abuse from his father left nate in a way that could be described in no other way then sad, lonely, and insecure. he felt as if the whole world was against him. any friends he had, he slowly drifted from and struggled to make anymore.

he spent almost every day in his room, keeping to himself and perhaps reading or learning something new. something nate prided himself in was his intelligence. he was always top of the class, and had never in his life failed a test. he actually enjoyed studying, because it was one of the few things that distracted his mind. his dream was to some day be able to afford college, or get a scholarship somewhere.

as nate got older, he found that it actually wasn’t as scary walking into the local pub and ordering yourself a drink underage. the first few times, he was rejected because the bar tender knew his family. but when the gossip spread that the owner of the pub had passed away, and someone else had bought it, nate found himself as a regular customer. a whole year passed, and he wasn’t asked for id.

now that he’s 21, he wished he was because he could now show off his age card.

since he started going out more, going to the pub or the few take aways around town, nate discovered a new way to distract his mind. a way almost as enjoyable as studying. sex. is he really kinky ? that’s a secret he’d never tell. xoxo

was he embarrassed that he quickly became known as one of the biggest fuck boys around the village ? not at all. nate stopped caring a long time ago. what was the point?

besides, he didn’t understand why people were so mad. all he wanted was a quick hook up with no strings attached. it wasn’t his fault that some people just didn’t understand that.

nate wasn’t the greatest flirt but with a smirk and some showing off of his dimples, he could get his way.

but nate hated people who played hard to get. if you’re going to drag it on, then he didn’t have time for you. why? because nate knows he has a tendency to fall for anyone who’s nice to him.

last time someone was all cute, and nice and kind and adorable and teased him and played hard to get and was all annoying but beautiful...nate spent a good week crying because they didn’t like him back. ( AVAILABLE PLOT ? )

he swore to never embarrass himself like that again but it was only a matter of time.

because he’s a crier and he hates that.

nate tries to act like he doesn’t care but he so cares. in reality, he’s quite the softy. he cries reading books or watching sad movies, he falls weak when people kiss his forehead, he loves cuddling. he’ll never admit it but he’d actually like to get married and have kids some day. but not for a long time.

for now, his dream is college and to make enough money to travel the world and prove his parents wrong. or to just move out and away from his god awful family.

he may come across as rude or standoffish or like an asshole but it’s all an act, do not be fooled. he will start fights to seem cool but end up getting his ass beat.

he does love gossip and drama but hates being involved. if he hears about something happening, he needs to know about it.

okay that’s all i can think of for now i’ll add more later xoxoxoxoxoo

#crawford:intro #intro

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undergroundjourney · 4 years ago

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Transcendence

On relationships with our Parents.

“To care for those who once cared for us is one of the highest honor.”

I’ve seen so many people go this year, and now I’ve seen two of my closest friends lose their moms this year, (both their dads passed years ago as well). And I am thankful everyday that both of my own parents are still with me, especially in the year of a global pandemic that could’ve easily weakened them to a point I never wish to see.

“Thankfulness turns what we have into enough.”

(The following isn’t a true sentiment for everyone with parents- I know many people have dealt with highly traumatic/abusive parents, and this may not apply to you at all, even if you have tried to build a relationship with your parent(s) and it didn’t work out. I’m sorry for anyone who had that upbringing, but I’m glad you’re still here and I hope you’re healing. You might be okay with it, you might not, you might still be healing/dealing with it, but I do think it is important to remember the parents you had/have are just as human as anyone else, with their own faults and their own lives that they lived, that you are not responsible for).

🤍

Something that is hard to remember is how humane our parents are. Especially growing up with strict parents, and we’ve all had different variations of that strictness from babies to teens and even as adults. It is important to remember where our parents came from, to listen to their stories from before we ever entered their lives. They’ve been just as stupid, successful, scared, brave, anxious, and reckless as us. At some point in our lives, those of us who are lucky enough to still have our parents in our adult years, we have to let go of the parents who raised us and form new bonds and communications with the parents who are growing older with us. It takes a lot of energy, a lot of tears and prayers (I remember praying when I had to tell my mom I was changing my degree my second year of college... I kept telling myself God wouldn’t want me to die so He was going to make it easy for me to tell my mom— it gave me courage to tell her, for sure, but I still got the dreaded lecture 😂😅), overcoming fears of rejection (which melted away after the more time I spent with my parents), learning to communicate, and learning respect on a whole new spectrum. It’s not easy changing our mindsets when things have been engrained in us for years, but that’s the beauty of life- learning and unlearning, recreating and overcoming. I’m forever thankful I still have my family with me. It’s been a hard year, so I’m loving a little harder too.

I am still going through these changes with my parents, especially my dad right now. My dad and I have always had a super tight relationships. (Mind you, he is my stepdad, but he’s been in my life since I was 3-4 years old, and he’s white- and yes, saying that does matter because representation matters). The past I felt incredibly sad and frustrated with him and myself because I felt our relationship was being strained/lost/forgotten, and partly because of the things he’s been going through, trying new medications to deal with pain and sleep and such, and it just made me feel like I was losing my dad. I finally told him just a couple days ago that I hated talking to him when he was on this pill and drinking at the same time- he was difficult to talk to, so annoying. It was like talking to a super stoned teenager while still trying to respect that he’s an adult. I had to come back over the next day to do my mom’s hair, and we were talking and out of nowhere he goes “thank you for telling me how you felt. I needed that, to know what I’m doing wrong. I’m glad you told me how you felt.” And he gave me a great big hug. I felt my dad was coming back to me, the one that was my best friend and I’m so grateful. I know communication is incredibly difficult, anxiety-ridden with our parents, but it’s always worth the shot and the chance for a better relationship with them. My dad was on his way to bed and I gave him a hug, but I said “Dad.. I just.. I really don’t like it when you take these pills and you’re drinking, and doing whatever else. It makes it so hard to talk to you and be patient with you. I don’t like it.” I think he said “Well it makes me sleepy and the drinking is not a problem. I don’t know honey, I gotta go to bed.” It wasn’t a brush off or anything like that. But I was not expecting to show up the next day to him acknowledging it. I’m glad I said something, I’m glad he received it from a place of love. ♥️

My mom has always been super strict, like scary lady strict, stay out of her way unless you’ve been called to speak with her kind of strict. (In my child-like mind). But as an adult and I think back to my childhood and my mom- she wasn’t in the picture like my dad was because she was a home health nurse and at one point working two jobs for the better half of the first 7-8 years of my life. I know I grew up thinking my mom was not there, and that when she was there, she was a mean mommy and I didn’t like her but I wanted her to love me. I was her daughter after all you know! But there are little moments that I’ve kept in my mind memories. One time she came and picked me up from the bus stop, and I was driving in the back seat of her car. I had a cute bunny sticker and he was holding a carrot- she let me put it on her rear view mirror. And it stayed there for forever, until she gave the car away to someone in need. How could a mean mommy that liked everything put exactly in its place let me put a sticker on her car’s mirror?? 😉 I’ve held that memory and many others similar to it, for years, thought about that one every time I got into that car. But I didn’t think of the WOMAN my mother was. Not until just close to two years ago I started changing my mindset on the people my parents were/are. (And I’m 27 now). I once read a quick child’s story standing in a grocery store, about a mother- the child had a checker board flooring, black and white boxes. The mother was like my mother and the child was like me. If she/he accidentally stepped on the black box, the mother would be in a bad mood- mean mommy, so the child worked hard to step only on the white boxes, for the child believed that when he/she carefully stepped into the “right” boxes, the mother would be kind and nice, pleasant to be around. I think the story ended in a sad light but anyways, that’s how I saw my mother too. I believed in this light/dark actions brings out the mean/nice person of my mother. Crazy, right?!? No it’s not, not to a child. The fact I found what I did almost everyday in a book that related to me, made me feel seen and not alone in that my mom can be really scary sometimes. Now as an adult, I respect that my inner child went through such a turbulent time in being raised by someone like that, and my dad who was the totally calm and chill, go with the flow guy. Now as an adult (it’s been three years to get this point, mind you- so 25 years old and still fearful of my mother), I have learned to unlearn being fearful of a person I called my mother and have learned to talk with a woman who raised me. I felt sick to my gut at times trying to speak to her, I’ve also had to learn her sense of humor (it’s very impersonal), and I’ve learned of her strength, the things that have built her. But a mother she is and very rarely will I see her weaknesses as a mother, but I’ve seen them for her as a nurse, especially a hospice nurse, and as a daughter herself when my grandma became sick.

We build up intense ideas about our parents and it is only our responsibility (not theirs) to break down those ideas and decide who we want our parents to be to us as we are growing older, and then it is on us how we communicate to them in order to get them to this new idea of a relationship.

It’s a lot of f****ng hard work. A lot of mental work and emotions from ourself go into this transformation with our parents. There will be bad days, hard days and then you’ll spend a week away from them, and then you’ll reach out to them to see if they need that one thing done and when works best for them, and you’ll try again and again until you find what works best for you and them. We are growing up, let’s grow older with them. It’s a powerful bond.

#parents #transcendence

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spnjediavenger · 5 years ago

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Feel My Dreams (boys x sister figure!reader)

Title: Feel My Dreams (boys x sister figure!reader)

Type: one-shot (possible two-shot if people like it)

Warnings: general SPN violence, light wound description

Spoilers: none

Y/n first noticed it about a month ago. She usually never had dreams of any kind, but then she started having nightmares.

She was a hunter, and a good one to boot. She hunted with the Winchesters and was as brave and headstrong as they were. She killed monsters, fought demons, and was the only one who could rival the brothers in a prank war. She blocked out as much negativity from the job as she could so when the nightmares started, she was stumped. But that wasn’t the biggest issue. Not only could she see the dreams, she could feel them.

The first nightmare wasn’t so bad, she awoke with a gasp, hand clutching her chest where her heart pounded violently against her ribcage. The next time, however, Y/n didn’t get off so easily. In her dream, she had gotten punched in the gut, leaving her a dull ache when she woke; the dreams and injuries only got worse from there.

She began having to hide mysterious cuts and bruises from Sam and Dean, afraid of what they might say. Flash-forward to the present day, it was getting more and more of a task because she began avoiding sleep altogether when possible.

Y/n was dreary from lack of sleep, and sluggish from her dream-induced injuries. The night before, Y/n woke up with a cut along her stomach, a black eye, and bruised ribs. She and the Winchesters were currently working a job taking out a vamp nest and as much as she continued to deny it, Y/n was not up for the task.

After rushing to the bathroom to patch herself up before the guys could see, she emerged to find them both beginning to stir, and she put on a fake smile, hiding the horrors from last night’s nightmare.

“Morning, boys,” she said cheerfully as she walked into the motel room’s small kitchen.

“Hey, kid,” Dean said, pulling on a shirt.

Y/n groaned. Dean treated her like a sister and she was Sam’s age; she loved it but apparently those two things constituted him to call her a ‘kid’.

“Not a kid, Dean. I’m the same age as your brother and you don’t call him ‘kid’.”

“I know; I just do it to get under your skin,” he smirked, giving her side a poke. This would normally elicit a squeal but her bruises forced a wince instead. Both brothers shared an odd look before going about their morning routine.

Y/n started packing one of the weapon bags after grabbing her second cup of coffee; she needed to stay awake, the horrible sleep from the night not doing enough for her. She bent over to grab a salt container from the floor, letting out a strained gasp when the cut on her stomach pulled a little.

“Y/n, you alright?” Sam asked from the other side of the room. “Are you hurt?”

Y/n mentally sighed. Of course Sam had to notice. Think, think! I need to go on this hunt! she thought.

“Yeah, just slept weird last night; pulled a muscle in my back I think,” she lied, turning to give Sam a smile.

Sam returned a half smile. “Alright well, ice it on the way to the nest – gonna need all your strength to gank those vamps.”

Y/n nodded and resumed packing, grabbing an ice pack from the freezer to nurse her fake back injury on the way.

~ ~ ~

Six on three, two vamps for each hunter. That would be fair, right? Well, unfortunately for Y/n, life was not fair; she had three vamps fighting her while Sam and Dean were taking the other three on.

Y/n turned backwards in enough time to slice the head off one vamp but was pulled back by a second, teeth coming dangerously close to her neck before she stomped on his foot and threw her head back to give him a good knock in the face. Before she could swing her machete, the third vamp pulled her hair back and the second kicked her in the stomach.

Right where she got cut the last night.

Y/n let out a yell at the freshly stinging cut and doubled over, hand instinctively going to the wound. Along with reopening the cut, her horrible night’s sleep was catching up to her, making her usually killer fighting skills slower and off-timed.

Y/n was pulled out of her distracted thoughts when multiple sharp fangs were pressed into the side of her neck, causing her to shout out.

Sam and Dean had taken care of their vamps already and sprinted over to easily decapitate the two holding Y/n. As the hold on her left fell, her free hand immediately flew to her neck, trying to stop the bleeding. That jerk really went deep.

“Y/n, are you alright?” a winded Sam asked, reaching one hand out to her shoulder while the other gently removed hers to look at her neck, wincing a bit at the sight. “Pretty deep but shouldn’t need stitches or anything. Let’s just get back to the motel and clean it up.”

Y/n nodded, not missing the look on Dean’s face or the absence of wounds on both of the brothers.

Stupid! She thought. This was supposed to be an easy hunt and I sucked! And worse, Dean noticed.

When the trio returned to the motel, Dean was quick to grab the shower, earning an eye roll from Sam. The younger brother went straight to the first aid kit they kept and sat Y/n down on one of the beds. He tilted her head to the side and began cleaning the bite marks while Y/n kept pressure on the cut on her stomach, praying that Sam wouldn’t see the blood seeping through or the dazed look in her eyes as she began seeing dots from blood loss.

“Alright, that should do it,” Sam announced after placing a piece of tape over some gauze on the girl’s neck.

She was about to flash a grateful smile and head for the bathroom when Dean’s voice interrupted.

“Let’s see the other one.”

“There is no other one,” Y/n said, nervousness lacing her voice as she realized he must have seen the gash on her stomach earlier.

Sam looked at his brother, confused. “There was only one bite wound, Dean.”

“Nah, I mean the wound the vamps opened up when they kicked her,” he said a bit smugly, though not sporting any type of smile. He wasn’t too keen on people thinking they could hide things from him.

“Dean, it’s nothing. I-“

“Spare us the bull crap, Y/n,” Dean said, a bit testy. “You didn’t think I would notice how slow you were when fighting the vamps? And the freaking blood seeping through your shirt? Not to mention how weird you acted earlier this morning. Show us the damn cut on your stomach!” he ordered.

Sam looked at Y/n, a bit shocked. He, too, had noticed her acting weird but didn’t put as much thought into it as he should have. Y/n sighed, giving up as she stood and rolled her shirt up to reveal the gash, looking more irritated than it should have, along with her bruised ribs. Sam’s jaw dropped when he saw and Dean’s face only hardened more.

Sam stepped over to the girl again to get a closer look at the gash, gasping. “Y/n, what the hell happened?! This isn’t from a vamp and it looks like it’s getting infected! It’s deep too, it needs stitches; you should’ve told me sooner!” he rushed, though trying not to upset her. That failed when the apparent shock in his voice along with Dean’s stern eyes stayed locked onto hers.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, looking downwards.

“Sorry don’t cut it, princess. We don’t keep secrets around here, you got it? Especially when you’re getting hurt!” Dean scolded, making her turning away further.

“Dean,” Sam warned gently, seeing Y/n getting upset. “We can do this later. Come help me with this.” Sam had Y/n lay down on the bed and lifted her shirt. “Hold her still while I patch it up. This is gonna hurt like a bitch, I’m not gonna lie,” he said, turning to Y/n now. “But just try to not move too much ok? I’ll be as quick as I can.”

Y/n nodded as Dean took a seat next to her, placing one hand on her shoulder and the other on her opposite hip.

Sam, as promised, stitched her up as quick as he could but it was still a tedious process when the sting of alcohol and the pain of the needle poking through her skin made Y/n twist and jerk, groaning and whimpering. He finished, cleaning up the wound, then helped Y/n sit up, wiping the tears off her face with his thumbs, smiling lightly as she leaned into his touch.

“Can you please tell us what’s going on now?” he said softly.

“Look, kid,” Dean said, his expression soft now. “I hate getting rough with you, ok? I just hate seeing you hurt. We both do. And if somethin’ is goin’ on, you gotta tell us, ok? It doesn’t make you weak or stupid – crap happens. But if you want it to get better, you gotta tell us so we can fix it.” He ended with his own light smile as he ran a thumb down her cheek. The boys had a soft spot for Y/n, both thinking of her as a little sister. Even though she was Sam’s age, she had them wrapped around her finger.

The girl smiled at Dean and grabbed his hand in hers, taking Sam’s with the other.

“I’ve been having these…dreams,” she started slowly, unsure of the best way to explain it. The guys already gave her looks – they knew as well as she did that she always had uneventful sleep. “Nightmares really…” she continued. “At first they just scared me when I woke up…but then…they started hurting me. A couple bruises here and there but slowly getting worse and worse until last night where I got this,” she pointed to her stomach. “A black eye,” she wiped away the makeup she applied earlier; “And you already noticed and saw my ribs. I’ve been so slow lately because the dreams take so much out of me. And lately, I stay up as much as I can because I’m afraid to go to sleep…” she finished, eyes finding the floor again.

Sam wrapped an arm around her shoulders and ran his thumb over her arm. “I wish you would’ve told us sooner, bug” he said, making Y/n smile at the cute pet name he often used with her.

“How long ago did this start?” Dean asked, raising a brow at the strange circumstances.

“About a month ago.”

“Well, it’s definitely weird – I’ll give you that. But we’ll figure it out, ok?” Dean said, looking her in the eye. “And for the time being, until we do figure it out, why don’t you bunk with one of us each night? Might help you sleep better.”

Y/n nodded and pulled Sam and Dean into an embrace. “I love you guys.”

“We love you too,” Sam said, pressing a gentle kiss to her temple.

#supernatural #Supernatural fanfic #supernatural fanfiction #Sam Winchester #sam and dean #Sam and Dean Winchester #dean winchester #sam and dean x reader #platonic #sam and dean winchester x reader #sam and dean x sister!reader #sister figure!reader #spn #spn fandom #supernatural fandom

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honeycombcal · 5 years ago

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Love and Duty - C.H. (Cop!Calum, Ch. 1)

AN: sooo i got this idea for cop!calum and i’m just kinda running with it. sorry the beginning might be a little slow, but i have an idea of how i want this to go and i’m excited for it so i hope you guys like it :) if the formatting is weird, it’s because i wrote it/am posting it on my phone! lmk what y’all think!💙

Sutton was late. Extremely late. She power walked down the street as fast as she could, rushing to the quaint cafe that she was meeting her brother, Elliott, at for brunch. She prayed to whoever might be listening that her older brother wouldn’t be too pissed at her tardiness.

She finally got to the restaurant, throwing the glass door open, the motion making her caramel color highlighted locks blow behind her shoulders. She glanced around and found her brother at their usual table by the window; that table was their favorite because it allowed them to people watch those that walked by outside.

Elliott’s head was down as she approached the high top, dark wooden table. His dark brown hair, the same color Sutton’s was naturally, was finally starting to get back to its normal length after he had to shave it for the police academy. He was still dressed in his uniform, having just finished a shift he’d worked all night. He glanced up as he heard her get closer, his hazel eyes meeting Sutton’s as he gave her a teasing look of disapproval.

Sutton was winded as she plopped down in the chair across from her brother, setting her bag on the corner of her chair nearest the window. She exhaled deeply as she settled in, her fingers going to comb through her hair anxiously.

“I am so sorry I’m late-“ she started as Elliott chuckled.

“You’re fine. I actually just got here a few minutes ago anyways,” Elliott reassured her. Sutton exhaled again, this time in relief. She knew Elliott wouldn’t be that mad; it was impossible for the 25 year old to stay mad at his little sister for long.

“So why do you look so nice? That part of your reason for being late?” Elliott quirked a dark eyebrow as he gazed over his sister. Sutton looked down at her outfit as if she didn’t dress herself this morning: she wore a dusty rose colored silk camisole tucked into tight black trousers with a matching black blazer and black flats. Definitely not her go to look at 11 o’clock in the morning.

“It is actually,” she informed him. Her brother waited for her to continue, crossing his arms and leaning them on the table. “I had a job interview this morning.”

“You did?! Why didn’t you tell me?” Elliott questioned, feigning hurt. Sutton rolled her emerald eyes at him and smirked.

“I guess it just slipped my mind. Plus you’ve been so busy with work lately,” she pointed out. Elliott nodded, agreeing with her. “It was kind of a last minute thing too. They called me yesterday asking if I could come in this morning.”

“So, where was the interview at? How’d it go? Does dad know?” Elliott fired off, but before Sutton could answer, the waitress came to take their drink orders. Sutton ordered a water and a mimosa while Elliott opted for just a water. On the job or not, Elliott was still in his work uniform and couldn’t be seen drinking.

“It was at the courthouse, as a clerk, so I’d work up tickets and different cases and even be in the courtroom. I think it went really well! And no, dad doesn’t know yet. I’ve barely had time to process it myself,” Sutton told him, resting her arms on the table and raising one to place her chin in the palm of her right hand.

“Oh, that sounds like it’d be perfect for you. I work with clerks here and there, they’re real nice,” Elliott told her, making her all the more excited and hopeful that she’d get the job. “Dad will love to hear that.”

Elliott’s last comment brought a soft smile to Sutton’s face. Their father, the chief of police in their town, would be thrilled to hear that both of his children were working in the judicial system in some way. She couldn’t wait to call him and tell him the news, but it would have to wait until after brunch.

The waitress brought their drinks and took their order, scurrying off to give it to the kitchen before the place got slammed for lunch. The siblings made small talk as they waited, Sutton asking Elliott how his shift went. His hazel eyes were slightly bloodshot from lack of sleep, and it looked as though purple thumbprints were pressed underneath his eyes. Sutton hoped he would be taken off this night shift soon, but since he was a newer officer, she really doubted it.

The waitress returned with their orders ten minutes later, Sutton’s mouth watering at the sight of her french toast, bacon and eggs. She dug into her food quickly, as she hadn’t had breakfast this morning, and almost burnt her tongue in the process. As she chewed her eggs, her phone began to ring.

“Oh fuck,” she mumbled, small pieces of egg flying out of her mouth and making Elliott laugh. She shot him a glare as she dug her phone out of her bag.

“Oh my god.” Sutton felt her eyes grow wide as she saw the number on her screen, tuning her brother’s “what?” out as she quickly finished chewing and swallowed, choking slightly, before she answered her phone.

“Hello?” She could feel her brother’s eyes on her, but she didn’t meet them. Her voice had gone up an octave or two so she knew that he knew it was probably something important.

“Hi, Sutton? This is Linda with the courthouse,” the voice spilled over the phone. Sutton felt like her eyes might pop out of her head. They were calling her already?

“Hi, Linda!” she exclaimed, making the older woman laugh.

“I was just calling to ask if you’d like to become a part of our team?” she asked. Sutton’s mouth fell open before the corners of her lips began to tug upwards.

“I would absolutely love that!”

Elliott raised his eyebrows as he shoveled more of his biscuits and gravy into his mouth.

“I was hoping you’d say that! Does starting on Monday morning work for you?” Linda asked. Sutton would have started whenever she’d have asked her too, but she was thankful that she wasn’t going to have her start in the middle of the week since today was Tuesday.

“Of course, that definitely works for me!” Sutton bounced excitedly in her chair, meeting her brother’s eyes and grinning.

“Perfect. We’ll see you Monday morning at 8!” Linda told her. After Sutton thanked her, they exchanged goodbyes and hung up. Sutton let out a squeal as she set her phone down

“I got the job!!” she exclaimed, her brother going wide eyed.

“That was who just called? They let you know that fast?!” He was almost in disbelief. Not that his sister wouldn’t get the job, but that her now employer got back to her that quickly.

“Yes! Can you believe it?!” Sutton was over the moon excited.

After graduating from college in almost a month ago, she’d had no idea what she wanted to do with her life. When she was looking for jobs, she came across this listing at the courthouse and it sounded too good to be true. She tried not to get her hopes up when applying, but when they had called her the same day she’d submitted her application and had asked her for an interview, Sutton was all too happy to oblige. It finally seemed like things were falling into place, and it sounded like maybe she’d get to work with her brother every now and then too.

“That’s amazing, Rose, I’m really proud of ya,” Elliott praised her, using her nickname. Rose was Sutton’s middle name, and since Elliott was only 3 when Sutton was born, he had had some difficulty saying her name. So, her parents had him call her by her middle name, since that was much easier for a three year old and Elliott would still call her Rose to this day. He often called her that more than her first name just because it was still easier (and he was a bit lazy). It had even rubbed off on her father and even a couple of her closest friends. Sutton loved her middle name, so she didn’t mind when people called her by it.

“Me and my buddy actually have to be in court next Wednesday so maybe we’ll see ya,” he continued.

“Which one? And for what?” Sutton questioned, resuming her meal that had now cooled off enough for her to eat.

“We both have prelims we gotta testify for. Cal had a domestic call and mine was a speeder but they scheduled ‘em back to back so we’re goin’ together.” Sutton had heard Elliott talk about ‘Cal’, but she’d yet to meet him. She also knew that prelims meant a preliminary hearing, thanks to both her father and brother being cops and to her minor in law enforcement. She had her fingers crossed that all of that knowledge would help her out.

They finished their meal in a comfortable silence, occasionally pointing something out about a person who walked by. Elliott insisted on paying as a ‘congrats on the job’ gift, so once they’d settled the bill, they headed out.

“Alright, I’m goin’ back home to get some fuckin’ sleep. You goin’ back to dad’s?” Elliott asked as they walked down the sidewalk.

Sutton nodded, yawning and immediately looking forward to the nap she was about to take. Her 9:30 interview had come early this morning since she couldn’t fall asleep until after 1.

Sutton had moved back in with her father after she graduated, and she was happy to be there. She often worried about her dad living by himself. After their mother died when Elliott was 18 and Sutton was 15, it had just been the three of them. But then Elliott went off to college a few months later, so it was just Sutton and her dad. Which was really hard on her; her mom had passed away right around the time a young girl needed her mom most. But her father had done an exceptional job of stepping up and filling both roles. He had worked his ass off his whole life, especially after his wife died, to give his family everything they’d need. He was appointed chief of police when Sutton was 17, and she felt like the most proud daughter in the world. Even though her father was in and out of the house throughout the week, she still hated to think of him alone at home. She was probably one of the few college kids to be happy to be back home.

Elliott walked her to her car in the parking lot, enveloping her in a hug after he opened her door for her. “Don’t be a stranger, Rosie. Come by and we can go get drinks to celebrate.”

Sutton groaned. Every time she drank with her brother, she got waaaay too drunk trying to keep up with him and his friends. The last time she’d gone out with him she’d been sick for the next two days.

“We’ll see about that,” she told him, ducking into her car. Elliott chuckled before giving her a wave and shutting her door, heading off to his own car parked across the way.

As Sutton started her car and began the drive home, she called her dad over the bluetooth speaker in her car.

“Hi, sweetie,” his voice boomed over her speaker, making her jump as she turned her volume down.

“Hi dad. I’ve got news!” she told him happily.

“Oh? And what’s that?” he asked curiously.

“I got a job at the courthouse as a clerk!” Sutton exclaimed to him, bouncing up and down again.

“You did?! Oh honey, that is just fantastic. I am so proud of you.” Hearing her father say that made tears spring to Sutton’s eyes; she knew her father was proud of her, but hearing him say it made her emotional every time.

“Thanks dad. I’m really excited about it,” she told him, turning onto their street.

“I think that’ll be a good job for you. I know a lot of the people in there so you make sure to tell me if anyone gives you any grief,” his tone only slightly joking. Sutton giggled.

“Oh, I will. And Eli said the same thing, about it being good for me. Says he works with clerks every now and then, too.” Sutton pulled into the driveway of their colonial home, a big white house with light blue shutters and a wrap around porch that her mother loved.

“He sure does. He’ll probably try to make his way over more now that you’ll be working there.”

“Alright dad, I’ll let ya go. I’m home now, so I’ll see you when you’re off,” she told him.

“Alright Rose, I’ll see you when I get home. I’m proud of you sweetie, love you.”

“Love you dad. Bye,” Sutton clicked the end call button on her steering wheel before turning her car off and heading inside.

For once in her life, she couldn’t wait until Monday.

#calum hood #calum 5sos #calum hood fanfic #calum 5 seconds of summer #calum hood fanfiction #cop!calum #5sos #5 seconds of summer #hcc masterlist #masterlist #ashton irwin #ashton 5sos #luke hemmings #luke 5sos #michael clifford #michael 5sos #5sos fanfiction #5 seconds of summer fanfic

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prezaki · 6 years ago

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A Thousand Second Chances - The life story of Eddie Brock

from Venom (2018) Issue # 2

I just spent a week speed-reading through every single comic appearance Eddie Brock has made in the 30 years since his creation and I fell in love with his character hard and fast. In order to process all that I’ve learned myself, I feel like I need to write down his life story with thoughts and important moments. Figured I might as well make this public since it might help out other new fans who don’t have the time and madness to dig through 30 years of comic history. Any older fans reading, feel free to correct me if I’m getting my Marvel lore wrong, I am VERY new to this and hopelessly overwhelmed.

This fully ignores ‘Venom: Dark Origin’ because it frankly just contradicts every other mention of backstory. It also thus ignores Mary Brock, the sister who was invented to justify the Nova crossover issues and who doesn’t appear outside of these two things, because she frankly doesn’t fit the rest of the lore either.

Content warning for suicide applies everywhere here, it’s a topic that comes up time and time again in Eddie’s life.

This got... long.

Eddie is born as the son of Carl and Jamie Brock. Unfortunately, Jamie passed away during Eddie’s birth, leaving his father emotionally cold towards him. The family is wealthy so Eddie is always well-provided for, but he never receives any affection. In order to win praise, Eddie studies hard (top grades) and gets into sports (beginning his lifelong passion towards muscle training), but nothing is successful. His dad did apparently make some worrisome statements though. (from: Lethal Protector, except for the panel which is from the Maximum Carnage arc)

At some point in his childhood Eddie gets into a car accident that cost Carl a lot of his fortune. Nothing is specified about this as of yet, but it looks like the current arc might go into detail. (from: Venom 2018)

Eddie gets into college and when the Watergate scandal happens, he is inspired to change his career to journalism. This places his birth year around 1950, I suppose? (from: Lethal Protector)

After college, Eddie gets a job at the Daily Globe, where he works as a successful investigative journalist.

At some point here, he meets Anne Weying and they begin a relationship. She describes him as ‘smart, witty and boyish’ (though he’d never show it in front of his father). He used to love taking her to fairs and amusement parks. The two get married. (from: Amazing Spider-Man)

During his work for the daily globe he encounters a creature named Krooba. This is some weird bonus story and I only mention it because this panel is honestly hilarious. (from: Marvel Flashback series)

Then the Sin-Eater murders shake New York and Eddie interviews a source who claims to be the culprit - but just as Eddie reveals their identity, Spider-Man catches the real Sin-Eater. Eddie is disgraced as a journalist because he fell for a compulsive confessor. He loses his job with the Globe due to this incident. (from: Amazing Spider-Man)

This also fully destroys his relationship with his father whom he now doesn’t have contact to anymore. Anne says he lost his boy-ish charm here and started seeming a little mad. Their marriage falls apart. (from: Lethal Protector)

To make a living, Eddie now has to write made-up stories for gossip magazines. He describes these as ‘venomous’ and that descriptor is the reason for his later pseudonym ‘Venom’. (from: Amazing Spider-Man)

He starts body-building excessively during this time in hopes to relieve the tension. (from: Amazing Spider-Man)

Through all this he blames Spider-Man for his downfall - this is not logical, but hey, blaming others makes things easier. Eddie is a person with an astounding one-track-mind and a tendency for splitting.

Eddie can’t handle the misery of his current life and grows strongly suicidal. However, he is also a practicing catholic and struggles with the fact that suicide is considered a sin. Thus he goes to the Our Lady of Saints church to pray for forgiveness before ending his life. (from: Amazing Spider-Man)

In front of the church he hesitates and is encouraged to go inside by Deadpool, who is totally oblivious to Eddie’s actual intentions. Yes, really. (from: Deadpool: Back in Black)

In the church, Eddie encounters the symbiote that Spider-Man brought back to earth as his suit and which he then subsequently rejected after finding out it is a living creature. Both Eddie and the symbiote hate Spider-Man, so they take this as basis to bond together.

Important here is that it is literally canon that Spider-Man inadvertendly taught the symbiote how to love (from: Web of Spider-Man) and that the symbiote wants to try and make their relationship with Eddie more mutual than the one with Spider-Man (from: First Kill). So take THAT as you want.

In the first day of being together with the symbiote, Eddie takes down some criminals who murdered his neighbour and establishes his vigilante killing style through it. (from: First Kill)

Eddie makes first attempts to kill Spider-Man (whose civilian identity he knows thanks to the symbiote’s memories) by pushing him in front of a train and trying to throw him off a roof. (from: Web of Spider-Man)

There’s some weird special story set in this timeframe about how he gets the advice of some veteran he interviewed on the job once to do this. (from: Amazing Spider-Man)

Then he attacks Spidey directly and they fight in the church.... and well, Eddie dons a priest costume for a while, just... because aesthetic. He does have a flair for the dramatic.

This is probably the appropriate time to mention that from here on Eddie is always naked. Every time you see Eddie Brock wearing clothes, it is the symbiote assuming the shape of clothes. Eddie wears underwear at best and even that is often not present.

Eddie loses this battle with Spidey and is sent to The Vault, a super high security prison. Escaping from there, he kills a guard who happens to be an influential person’s son and well, it bites him in the ass later. Important here is also that Eddie absolutely always laments it when he ‘has’ to kill innocents. (from: Amazing Spider-Man)

In trying to get to Peter after this, Eddie visits Aunt May a few times pretending to be Peter’s friend. It is hilarious. (from: Amazing Spider-Man)

The next attempt at besting Spider-Man is ended by Spidey pretending to accept the symbiote back, which the symbiote is actually excited about, much to Eddie’s dismay. However, the bond with Eddie is too strong for the symbiote to simply sever it and both symbiote and Eddie pass out from the strain of trying. (from: Amazing Spider-Man)

This is a good time to mention that in the 2003 Spectacular Spider-Man run it is revealed that actually Eddie had terminal cancer All Along and knew he’d die without the symbiote, so part of him wanting to kill Spider-Man is a wish to eliminate host body competition and thus survive. I personally absolutely think this is an asspull that undermines a lot of the first 20 years of characterization, but eh.

Eddie goes back to The Vault and has not one but two run-ins with the Avengers when attempting to break out. Neither attempt is successful and in the end he uses the symbiote’s abilities to fake his own death in order to successfully escape.

A huge battle over who gets to kill Spider-Man happens and Styx touches Venom... the symbiote takes the brunt of this attack to protect Eddie - and thus they seemingly die for him. And this is like written in 1990. Eddie literally cries about it. (from: Amazing Spider-Man)

Now a normal human, Eddie is sent to the normal human prison Ryker’s Island where he is cellmates with the serial killer Cletus Kasady. Eddie works out a lot in the cell and it drives Cletus crazy - he brings that up again more than once. Big mad about the muscle gains. (from: Amazing Spider-Man)

Though Eddie also just plain beats Cletus up during this time because Eddie hates people who kill innocents. This might have contributed to Cletus hating his muscles. (from: Carnage 2016)

The symbiote isn’t dead and returns for Eddie! They break out! Also the symbiote literally gives birth during this process, no biggie. (from: Amazing Spider-Man)

Venom and Spider-Man fight again. Venom actually gets Spidey unconscious in this battle but instead of killing him then, he... kidnaps Spidey to an abandoned island to have another fight. Eddie just gotta be that extra. During this fight Spidey fakes his death and escapes. (from: Amazing Spider-Man)

Eddie decides to live happily ever after with the symbiote and just stay on the island. They’re very happy together. (from: Amazing Spider-Man)

Sometime here, Darkhawk gets stranded on the island, fights Venom, gets spared by Venom. Life’s like that. (from: Darkhawk)

Then he meets Wolverine inside of Wolverine’s nightmare because sometimes Marvel is ???? like that ??? (from: Marvel Presents)

Eddie’d probably have happily stayed on this island forever, had the child the symbiote gave birth to not bonded to Cletus Kasady, creating Carnage. Spider-Man realizes that Eddie, knowing symbiotes, is probably a big help in fighting a symbiote-bonded killer so he reveals himself to Eddie again and gets him off the island to fight Carnage. (from: Amazing Spider-Man)

Once Carnage is defeated, Eddie just gets sent back to The Vault.

There is some weird episode here where Matt Murdock is his attorney and he tries to get free by pleading insanity and pretending the symbiote died. That fails of course. (from: Trial of Venom)

Then an even weirder episode happens where Venom encounters a bunch of villains and then just ends back up in jail anyway.

Which he then breaks out of and hears Spider-Man’s parents are still alive. This really gets to Eddie because in his mindset (which the symbiote only enhances - they influence each other mutually for the worse at this point) Spidey is a corrupting force and thus he needs to protect... his parents from him.... so he kidnaps the Parkers..... (from: Amazing Spider-Man)

Spidey had ENOUGH of Venom at this point and tries to think of new ways to get him to stop already. Thus he contacts Anne and gets Anne to talk to Eddie. Eddie still very much loves Anne. It still takes Spidey saving Anne from falling debris and Anne’s subsequent explanation that Spidey IS saving innocents to make Eddie back off. But hey, he backs off!

And moves back to his birth city, San Francisco. Here a lot of things start happening very rapidly. Eddie encounters an underground city of social outcasts. A family member of the guard he murdered put together The Jury to kill him in retaliation. Life Foundation wants his symbiote. Spider-Man is there. Lethal Protector is a ride and I truly recommend it.

Life Foundation extracts symbiotes from Eddie’s symbiote to try and weaponize them, Spidey and Venom battle them together.

In the end, Eddie also saves the underground city from Life Foundation and moves in there as their protector, much to the joy of local resident Elizabeth who wanted him down there all along.

Then Eddie temporarily goes back to New York because Carnage is back. After getting badly beat up, Eddie comes to Spidey for help and... just goes to sleep on his couch. He changes into pajamas and all.

To stop Carnage, Spidey, Venom and the Black Cat form an alliance but Spidey remains strongly opposed to Venom’s muuuch more pragmatic view on life and death. He isn’t called lethal protector for nothing. Much moral debate is had. Maximum Carnage is a fun arc.

Then Eddie goes back home to his underground city and demonstrates his one-track mind in his solo series Funeral Pyre, where he tries very hard to help an undercover journalist trapped in a gang and still fails, creating Pyre in the process....

During some Daredevil issues, Eddie tries to steal a serum to erase Venom’s weaknesses but in the end doesn’t get it.

During some Silver Sable issues he... exists and helps her gang, I guess.

Then he appears in some Darkhawk issues where they rematch.

Back to solo-series; in The Madness, Eddie gets infected with a sentient virus, making it three people in his body. The virus is pretty crazy and assaults and frightens Eddie’s almost-girlfriend Beck, who is overall already convinced that the symbiote makes Eddie more mad. She states she can’t date him due to this and the two remain simply friends. Eddie gets rid of the virus in the end and returns it to where it came from.

The Enemy Within comes next and it’s just... goblins in San Fransico. Eddie teams up with Morbius against those goblins. Many goblins.

Then Venom fights Hulk because why not. (from: Venom vs Hulk)

Soon after, Venom appears in a few Iron Man issues because he believes Tony Stark’s business practices to be corrupt and tries to kill him for it.

In The Mace, conflict arises in the underground city and causes Mace and Venom to fight one another. Namely, people from the underground city attack others, who attack in retaliation - once Eddie learns that some of his people started this mess, he kills the offending underground city residents (and keeps it secret from Beck who asked him to spare them).

Venom then teams up with Nightwatch for a short appearance in the Nightwatch series.

During Nights of Vengeance both Elizabeth and Beck get kidnapped, inviting other characters to speculate on Eddie’s love life. Eddie states he won’t date either woman as he is too dangerous to date anyone. There’s also aliens who take over minds in this comic. That’s the actual main plot of these issues.

Now it’s time for Eddie’s next return to New York! Carlton Drake and his Life Foundation are working on something called The Arachnis Project (which is also the name of this arc) to create spider humans - hearing of this, Eddie travels to New York to get revenge against Life Foundation for the events of Lethal Protector.

The Jury has started working for Life Foundation in the meantime, though the events of these comics cause that connection to sever. However, they’re still in the same facility, so they do run into Venom there. Jury and Venom try to kill each other while Spider-Man desperately tries to stop any death on either end from happening.

Also Life Foundation gets defeated, obviously. Eddie returns to San Francisco.

Only to come back to NY shortly after due to news about the prison Carnage is held in.

Here, Eddie runs into Peter’s clone, the Scarlet Spider. In battle with him, Eddie gets separated from his symbiote and both of them get taken into custody to be studied, setting up the events of the Separation Anxiety mini-series.

Separation Anxiety marks the first time the reader ever gets to hear the symbiote’s thoughts and the majority of these thoughts are “Eddie” as the symbiote is desperate to return to him.

During this period of extended separation from the symbiote and with nobody to talk to, Eddie begins to reflect on his actions as Venom and starts second-guessing all the murders they committed. For the first time, Eddie is plagued by feelings of guilt.

Eddie gets broken out of this facility by the surviving symbiote-host-combos created by Life Foundation who seek Eddie’s help on how to communicate with their symbiotes. All of them are struggling to not get overtaken, making Eddie’s mutual relationship with the symbiote seem extraordinary.

Meanwhile the symbiote also breaks out and rushes to find Eddie, bond with him again and, in their worlds, ‘become whole, become Venom’. The symbiote does find Eddie in time to save him from Scream, one of their symbiote ‘daughters’.

But after being reuinited, Eddie tells the symbiote that he needs some time to think on his own to really figure out what of their actions was his choice and what was the symbiote’s. (the cap is from Planet of the Symbiotes which picks this back up.)

Before this storyline goes to its conclusion, Carnage briefly returns and travels over the internet, an ability which the Venom symbiote learns as well in the fight against Carnage. He returns back from San Fran to New York again for this. During this arc Eddie also makes a big mistake and almost kills an innocent man named Clive because he mistook him for being a malicious junkie. (from: Carnage Unleashed)

Then in Planet of the Symbiotes we then return to the break-up story. Eddie’s doubts about his own choices continue on strongly and get reinforced by Spider-Man to a point where Eddie rejects the symbiote. The symbiote, in emotional pain after this temporary break-up begins wailing. This wailing can be heard so far in the galaxy that it actually alerts the other symbiotes to the existence of earth, causing them to begin an invasion.

During this invasion, Eddie’s symbiote returns to him and reveals that for their species, they are considered abnormal because they seek to have a relationship with a host rather than dominate them.

The solution to the invasion is to let out an even more powerful mental scream to overwhelm the symbiotes with despair - Eddie and his symbiote fully bond again to achieve this and thus save earth. This is the arc that the movie presumably took Venom betraying his species for Eddie from.

Then during Sinner Takes All, we meet Anne again! There is a new Sin Eater around and she is being targeted - obviously, Eddie can’t let that happen and sets out to protect her. To heal her injuries, he lets the symbiote bond with her but doing so unleashes violent urges in Anne. She temporarily turns into She-Venom and murders a group of men who were attacking her. Once returning to her senses, Anne is horrified and gets away from Eddie - only to be taken hostage by an assassin who came to take revenge on Eddie for Clive, the person he almost killed during Carnage Unleashed. In the end, Clive himself calls off the manhunt on him, claiming vengeance wouldn’t make him feel any better.

Here continuity gets a little confusing because the next comic, Along Came A Spider, takes place soon after Planet of the Symbiotes and makes reference to Eddie not having talked to Anne since. This is why most continuities place Sinner Takes All before Planet of the Symbiotes, but that doesn’t quite make sense either due to the progression of Eddie’s and the symbiote’s relationship. Ah well, it is a mystery.

Anne is now under police protective custody, but the police also want her help to capture Venom. When Eddie calls, the symbiote travels over the phone-line and partially merges with Anne, which ends up also merging Eddie’s and Anne’s minds. Eddie immediately sets out to find her and retrieve her from the police.

On the way out, Venom gets into a fight with Spider-Man, which gives the police time to arrive and arrest Anne. When Anne calls Eddie from custody, she begs him not to come and bust her out, which he agrees to... but sends the symbiote through the phonelines instead, turning Anne into She-Venom once more.

Once the symbiote is back to Eddie (after some more fighting), Anne announces she wants nothing to do with him anymore because she never wants to get close to the symbiote again. She tells Eddie that only if he resists the symbiote and stops his vengeance quest, she’ll talk to him again.

Then Anne gets tangled up again anyway, as Rune frames Venom for murder and Venom has to save her once more. (from: Rune vs Venom)

Next there is a serial killer on the loose in New York! The police strongly suspect Venom to be the culprit, but it turns out to be Xenophage, eating everyone who has a symbiote inside them. (from: The Hunted)

While running from the police, Eddie temporarily assumes the identity of a skater and joins a group of skater kids under the name Rad Eddie. (from: The Hunted)

Eddie defeats the Xenophage. (still from: The Hunted)

Then comes The Hunger, one of the gayest comics from the 90s for sure. It starts out with Eddie and the symbiote holding hands at the movies. But Eddie once again has reason to suspect that the symbiote is making him more violent.

When Venom winds up actually eating someone’s brain instead of just using this threat as a catchphrase, Eddie is horrified. Seeing that Eddie will refuse any further brain-eating, the symbiote leaves Eddie. Eddie gets captured by Dr. Paine and experimented on.

Eddie finds out that the symbiote needs a chemical that is in brains but can also be supplied in other ways. Before he and the symbiote can fully bond again, Dr. Paine kidnaps the symbiote to also experiment on.

Of course, Eddie saves the symbiote and also finds out that chocolate nourishes his symbiote just as well, so he buys them heartshaped chocolate. (all from: The Hunger)

Then Venom gets pulled into some other dimension along with Wolverine, Scream and the skater kids from before. (from: Tooth and Claw!)

Next, Eddie gets finally captured by the police after all and put on trial. Matt Murdock takes over his defense again. When the prosecution calls Carnage for a witness, Carnage breaks loose and Venom, Daredevil and Spidey have to subdue him. In the end, no verdict ever comes as Eddie is secretly recruited by the Overreach Committee. (from: Venom on Trial)

Eddie is pretty delighted with his new James Bond gig. In License to Kill, we get to see him on a mission in great detail. Important here is that the Committee planted a bomb in Eddie’s chest as an emergency insurance to keep him in check.

Venom’s next mission is to protect a formerly corrupt government leader at a speech in a church. For this, Eddie goes undercover as a nun but instead of using the symbiote’s full shapeshifting abilities, he just takes his normal looks, puts on a nun costume and calls himself Sister Edwina. Iconic. (from: Sign of the Boss)

The next mission is... a pretty big misunderstanding. Eddie’s superiors use convoluted language to tell Eddie to scare Jonah J Jameson a little but Eddie thinks he is meant to kill him. In the subsequent clash with Spidey, Eddie hits his head hard and forgets Spiderman’s civilian identity and also the exact reasons for hating him. (from: The Venom Agenda)

The committee now decides that Eddie is way too much of a loose cannon for their taste and they want to get rid of him. While everyone takes too long to decide who should press the killing button, Eddie escapes the committee, but in the subsequent fighting the symbiote is seemingly killed. (from: The Finale)

Eddie without the symbiote is absolutely miserable and once more pretty suicidal. This is the beginning of an era, however, which makes the symbiote out to largely abuse Eddie. So when the symbiote returns, Eddie initially tries to get away from them to avoid more pain, only to be forcibly united with them again anyway. Venom then goes to visit Carnage and... eats his symbiote. Yeah. (from: Peter Parker: Spider-Man)

Venom then joins and subsequently turns on the Sinister Six. (from: Amazing Spider-Man)

Eddie finds himself missing Anne and wants to start over with her again. When he visits Anne, she is a paranoid wreck. As Spidey, now in a black Venom-esque costume again, swings by her window, she falls into panic. Eddie misinterprets that Spidey is what scares Anne and goes to fight him, but while he does that, Anne commits suicide. (from: Amazing Spider-Man)

As Eddie grieves at Anne’s grave, Senator Ward shows up and steals his symbiote. Eddie gets arrested and sent to prison. (from: Amazing Spider-Man)

Now we’re entering territory of Venom (2003), the worst Venom comic. I don’t know what the hell is going on here, but the majority of it is about another symbiote anyway. At some point during this Eddie gets his symbiote back and fights the other symbiote.

Proving further that 2003 is the worst Venom year, we go on with a comic where the symbiote eats the adrenaline off people (not even what they ate before) and also with the reveal that Eddie has cancer and his cancer made his adrenaline amounts more appealing to the symbiote. To save Eddie’s life, Peter makes him rebond to the symbiote against either of their will. (from: Spectacular Spider-Man)

Then Carnage has another child which he wants to kill while Venom has other plans for it. (from: Venom/Carnage)

The symbiote gets stolen again during Spider-Man/Red Sonja, but it’s overall not that consequential.

What IS consequential is that Eddie is now back to having moral qualms with the symbiote... so he... decides to auction the symbiote off to super-villains and give the money gained to charity. Without the symbiote, his cancer will advance and he’ll die. (from: Marvel Knights: Spider-Man)

Finding out that the person he sold the suit to kills innocents indiscriminately, Eddie attempts suicide once more. He is taken to the hospital and narrowly survives cutting his wrists open. After that, he is kept in the hospital due to his cancer. (from: Marvel Knights: Spider-Man)

In the hospital, Eddie has reoccuring visions of the symbiote urging him to kill. When he finds out May Parker is in the same hospital, the symbiote tells him to kill her. Eddie does comply with killing a nurse, but stops himself before killing May. He tries to commit suicide once more, only to be saved by Spider-Man. (from: Sensational Spider-Man)

Eddie starts working Martin Li’s homeless shelter, where May Parker also works. A touch by Martin Li, who is actually Mr Negative, heals Eddie’s cancer completely. This also turns Eddie into Anti-Venom - the literal opposite of Venom, a hero who’s touch cures and is harmful to the Venom symbiote. Though Eddie tries to kill his old symbiote, now bonded to Gargan, the symbiote refuses to kill Eddie when Gargan wants it to. Love is a word that is used again. (from: Amazing Spider-Man)

Eddie now starts over as a hero as Anti-Venom, healing people and busting drug cartels. (from: Anti-Venom: New Ways to Live)

Eddie is the first one to find out Martin Li is Mr Negative and tries to fight him. He is also the one to reveal Mr Negative’s civilian identity to Spider-Man, temporarily teaming up with him and Wraith to take the crime lord down. (from: Amazing Spider-Man)

At some point here, Eddie offers miracle healings with the Our Lady of Saints church as his headquarters.

When everyone in New York starts developing Spider powers, Eddie heals people from them. In the end, his Anti-Venom powers are all used up in order to large-scale cure the crisis. (from: Spider Island)

Meanwhile the symbiote is bonded to Flash Thompson and the two work as government agents.

Having had enough of symbiotes alltogether, Eddie sets out to kill symbiotes and hosts that are still around. (from: Venom 2011)

Against his will, Eddie is forced to fuse with the Toxin symbiote. (from: Venom 2011)

The FBI recruits Eddie to help them against Carnage. This is the comic that I like to summarize as ‘Let’s Go Lesbians Let’s Go’. In it, Eddie, two latinx lesbians, two black women and some other dude stop Carnage and an elder God. It’s a really good run.

For the first time, a comic makes Eddie accept culpability for his actions as Venom!! Also during this story, he loses the Toxin symbiote. (from: Carnage 2016)

When Flash Thompson and the Venom symbiote are separated, Eddie helps contain the symbiote (which had been going around with a criminal named Lee Price) and then breaks into containment to re-unite with it. Here is where he starts calling the symbiote ‘love’ and ‘darling’ all the time. Sadly there is no real explanation for his change-of-mind on the symbiote. (from: Venom 2016)

The symbiote and Eddie now actively negotiate trust and such in their relationship, it’s very good. When Eddie finds a dinosaur in the sewers, he brings it back to Alchemax which created it. In exchange for bringing the rest of the dinosaurs back, Alchemax chairwoman Liz Allan agrees to study the symbiote to see what is wrong with it, since it appears sick.

During this dinosaur quest Eddie meets and bonds with Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur!

Meanwhile at Alchemax, medicine for the symbiote is created. It turns out that remnants of Anti-Venom in Eddie’s body are making the symbiote sick. (from: Venom 2016)

Theeeeeen Eddie gets pulled into a parallel universe to battle an alien species called Poisons which kills hosts and permanently bonds with symbiotes. (from: Venomverse)

Back on earth, Flash comes to collect the symbiote, which struggles to choose between Flash and Eddie. In the resulting struggle, Flash turns into Anti-Venom instead. Venom, Anti-Venom and Spider-Man team up against Lee Price, who broke out of jail. (from: Venom Inc.)

Then the Poisons return and Eddie has to join the X-Men on a space journey to fight them. (from: Venomized)

At some point in between here, Eddie gets a job at The Facts Channel under the name ‘Mr. Sym’. Later Jonah J Jameson calls him out on how dumb that alias is.

The symbiote is about to spawn again and the FBI wants to interfere with it. Through trickery by Alchemax, Eddie and the symbiote manage to keep their baby. (from: Venom 2016)

The symbiote’s first host returns to earth and wants the symbiote back, who refuses and wants to stay with Eddie. By threatening their child, the first host manages to take the symbiote away anyway. Eddie bonds with the child symbiote, Sleeper, to go get his symbiote back. In the end, Sleeper lobotomizes the first host and uses his body to travel the universe. (from: First Host)

Due to causing way too much trouble, Eddie is now refused entrance to Alechemax. (from: First Host)

Jonah J. Jameson calls Eddie to protect Mary-Jane while Spider-Man faces a crisis with another arch nemesis. To defeat this nemesis, Eddie even lends the symbiote to Spidey. Flash dies in this big fight and Eddie afterwards attends his funeral. (from: Amazing Spider-Man #800)

The symbiote once more acts overtly violent and the resulting struggle in life results in Eddie losing his job at the Facts Channel. (from: Venom 2018)

Eddie Brock kills a god. (from: Venom 2018)

I don’t want to sum that run up any better than that, it is heartbreaking and should simply be read and personally experienced.

If you need issue numbers, this guide is your friend.

#eddie brock #venom #symbrock #is sort of in this #venom comics

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diego-hargreeve2 · 6 years ago

Text

light in the dark

Part Four

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy (Netflix)

Ship: Diego Hargreeves x Original Character

Warnings: Language, abuse (emotional and physical), mental illness, violence and, in later chapters, smut.

“How long have you lived here?”

It was Eve’s third visit to the basement boiler room Diego called a home, and she was helping – or attempting to help – him sharpen and clean the knives he wore. The conversation starter was primarily a way to distract herself from the fact that she was cleaning the steel of crusted blood that had once belonged to people and somehow, even knowing that they were criminals who had been out to cause pain, that felt weird. The only blood she had experience with was her own, which didn’t bother her in the slightest, and so she had assumed she was sufficiently strong stomached to cope – but whilst she certainly hadn’t fainted, Eve wasn’t exactly loving the blood aspect of the job.

“Three years now” he answered, inspecting the knives she had finished, his movements almost reverent as he studied the steel and put them away. Contrary to what some people might have thought he was not so attached to the harness or his blades that he slept with them. At least, not with all of them – keeping a weapon close to your bed just in case is just good sense.

“Before that?”

“Before that I rented a place. You gonna ask before that too?”

“Sure” Eve said with a shrug. She knew Diego left home at seventeen, ten years ago. And she knew what he was doing now. The decade in between was a mystery. With a roll of his eyes he picked up the whetstone, the edge in his voice when he spoke again as sharp as the one on the knife.

“I left home to join the police academy – I’d apply for their programme before I moved out. Enrolled with them, had to do a few years of study first. Realised it was bullshit so dropped out when I was twenty. Found a job in security and rented a place for a few years but it still wasn’t doing enough to help. I was already training here sometimes. Got talking to Al. I wanted to quit the job but needed the pay. We figured out a deal, I stay here and do maintenance and cleaning around the place. Gave me my nights back so I could help deal with shitheads. That’s the whole story – happy?”.

Leaning forward she held out the knife in her hand, handle first toward him, waiting till he lifted his gaze first to it and then to her face. She sat in the chair cross legged, whilst he was on the floor, and it was an odd feeling to be looking down at him for once.

“I figured it might give me some tips” Eve told him gently, watching the tension around his shoulders ease at the explanation. Handing over the knife so he could critique her work she sat back up straight and reached for another, but her gaze stayed on him for a moment longer, using the time that he was focused elsewhere to study him before he looked up to speak and she acted busy.

“You want to rent somewhere” he said, his tone calm again.

“You think I live in homeless shelters as a fun lifestyle choice?” she asked. The more comfortable she grew with Diego, the more she was learning the banter, the way he used humour and the way she could match it – and he chuckled, appreciating this developing wit. When he first met Eve, she seemed so shy, and he had figured out that she was ignorant in some ways of the world and prone to slipping back into feeling socially awkward but seeing there was more to her then that was a development he enjoyed. He no longer checked in on her as a begrudging act as pity, as it had been when he returned initially.

“Hey, say it like its crazy, but you’re the first volunteering to leave that place and be back outside” he pointed out, balancing the dagger she had given him on the palm of his hand before nodding, satisfied with the edge Eve had given it. “So c’mon – I shared. Your turn”. Reaching up he took the dagger she was working on to steal her distraction tool. With a sign, she looked down at her now empty hands before beginning – the bitter tone of her voice betraying the influence he was having on her already in their friendship.

“I just couldn’t take it anymore. Because of being born out of nowhere – my whole life they treated me…like they expected I would turn into Satan if anyone turned their back for a moment. I thought…I thought I could try and show them it wasn’t true. For years. I tried – so hard”. Her voice cracked on those words. She had truly tried. Eve had spent as much time as anyone praying, had done all she could to be a model child within the guidelines laid down within – and the Sanctified Brethren of the Special Emissary, as they were named by their ‘leader,’ kept strict rules – and it had never ever been enough.

“They call everyone other than themselves unclean. That’s why they avoid the outside world so much. But sometimes family members came to try and get members to leave. Sarah’s grandparents – she agreed to go with them. I begged them to take me out of that place too and they agreed. Found me a place in a shelter for victims of domestic violence”. Eve was quiet, staring down at the bitten mess that was her fingernails, remembering that first place. The strangeness of being treated with kindness and patience.

“That was…seven years ago. I’ve been moving along the States. Boise. Salt Lake City. Boulder. So on and so on. I found out about the Umbrella Academy when I was in Omaha and then I deliberately started heading East. You’ve already made it clear that was a terrible plan – no need to rehash it”.

“Why didn’t you just stay out there? If they found you help and stuff”.

“Yeah, yeah, I know that would make more sense. But I just - I didn’t want people getting close. I thought…I worry about this stuff. I’ve got better control now, but I used to start fires accidentally. Living on the streets felt safer – if I stayed there, I might hurt them when they were just trying to help”.

There was silence for a moment, Eve staring at her bitten fingernails, Diego looking at the knife he turned around and around in his fingers idly.

“I don’t buy it” he said abruptly, gripping the knife and stopping its circling as he looked up. “That’s not why you kept moving” he told her. Eve blinked, stunned to silence. “You don’t do it to protect everyone else. You do it to protect yourself, Evie. So nobody ever gets close. Putting down roots would make you vulnerable, so you avoid it”.

There was a beat of silence, then Eve tipped her head.

“If that’s true…you only know it because you do the same thing, Diego”.

“Yeah, well. Shitty childhoods will do that to you. You think you’d have come out the Academy normal if the old man found you?”

“You think you’d have turned out normal raised as an omen of the Apocalypse in a religious cult?” she pointed out, raising an eyebrow. Two could play at that game and Diego seemed to sense that was what it was about to come, shifting and putting away the last knife.

“Our Dad just numbered us. He didn’t give us names, he had our Mom do it after he built her when we were four – and he never used our names”.

“I was named by the Elder of the Church for the woman who caused original sin and the downfall of humanity”.

“I was sold at birth; me and my siblings were purchased like novelty items. In a house the size of a city block, he gave us bedrooms the size of prison cells”.

“They made me sleep on a metal bedstead, locked in a concrete shed, from the age of five”.

“We were forced to live to a regimented timetable that gave us only a weekly half hour for what was deemed ‘fun and games’” Diego said, a note of confidence in his voice that he could match anything she offered. Smiling slightly, despite the morbid subject matter, Eve pulled her knees up to her chest.

“So that the Brethren could remain self-sufficient, we were put to work on the farm and in the fields as soon as we could be. Child labour – three-year-old slaves” she emphasised.

“To hone our powers, we were treated as experiments, forced to train daily and subject to constant observation”.

“The only education we had was Bible verses and basic maths so we could count enough to help with planting”.

“He risked our lives, sent us into dangerous missions whenever other people wanted. I got this scar at sixteen, and he told me to try harder and be more careful next time”.

“We were made to fast regularly, prayed on our knees till we were bruised and fainted, with no medical attention for injuries or illnesses”.

“He threw Klaus into a mausoleum and left him there with corpses for hours when he was thirteen. My brother has never been sober since”.

“Oh, so we’re not just talking us two? Our Elder stated God told him to multiply his family, that was the excuse he gave for marrying all the teenage girls once they turned thirteen” Eve said, the words spitting out of her with rage. Even before she left, she had known that was wrong, had been uncomfortable with his revelation – and since living she only grew more convinced. For a moment Diego halted, looking more horrified by that disclosure then anything else she had offered so far.

“Shit – bastard! You were married?”

“No…I wasn’t worthy of his attention. Fucked up as that sounds, it makes me the only girl in the place who wasn’t a teenage rape victim. Still think you can win this game?” Eve pointed out, bitter – not from the lack of attention, but from the world she had been raised to think was normal and suffered in for two decades. “Or do we admit that with these childhoods we’re both losers?”

“Shit” Diego said, slumped a little, his lips falling open and mouth ajar as he turned to look at the wall. “Gotta hand it to you there – this game doesn’t have a winner”.

She had known since she read Vanya’s book that her childhood wouldn’t have been less fucked up if she had been one of the Academy, whereas how bad her background had been was news to Diego. For a moment both just sat there, digesting the sorrow that was their own lives, before he leaned forward and caught her hand.

“We escaped though. They might be dicks, but they didn’t break us”. Eve smiled, the expression clearing all the shadows from her face and she squeezed his fingers.

“Yeah. We did”.

“So fuck ‘em. Right?”

“Right”.

He winked at her, the expression so full of charm she couldn’t help but blush.

“Atta girl”.

@lovinglydiego @klausbutgayer @reblogserpent @me125 @fatbottomedcurls

#diego hargreeves #diego hargreeves fanfic #the umbrella academy fanfic #light in the dark

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captnbarnesrogers · 6 years ago

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9,445 Miles From You - Your First Day

Pairing/Characters: Bartender!Harry Styles x Waitress!Reader, a shit load of OCs Warnings: nothin too bad in this chapter; swearing, anxiety Chapter Summary: You fought your anxiety and now you’ve got a job. You meet your co-workers and managers but most importantly, you meet Harry Styles, who is one of a kind. Word Count: 3.1k+ A/N: Mostly some background stuff but Harry makes an appearance :)

9MFY Masterlist

February 2018

At this point in time, you weren’t exactly sure what was happening with your life. You were eighteen and jobless and so far, not even McDonald’s wanted you. You were depressed. You had no money of your own and financially, your parents couldn’t provide everything for you without sacrificing everything else that needed to be done. You needed to be independent. You wanted to be independent so that you could, even just a little bit, take a bit of weight off of their shoulders.

Another day, another failed interview. You huffed with frustration and threw your folder into the nearest bin. You tried to stay positive, but this was the seventh interview in a row where they had found a “more suitable candidate” – excluding all the previous interviews within the last three years. You gave them all of your hours, even the hours you didn’t have and couldn’t give but still, they had advised you to put down “more” hours. A more suitable candidate? More hours? Bullshit. There were only so many hours in a day and you had put down ‘24 hours’ in your resume and yet, they wanted more hours. You were angry with the world. Why couldn’t they just give you a job? You were hard working. You had initiative. No experience due to the fact that no other place wanted to hire you but nonetheless, you were the person who wanted to learn anything and everything in anyway you possibly could. You had a smile for days even if you didn’t want it for fucksake! You sighed and eventually, when you got home, cried into your pillow.

“I just don’t get it, I’m giving them everything I’ve got, even everything I don’t.” You cleansed your face as your best friend was on loud speaker.

“I know, Y/N, but like your mom said, if it’s for you then you’ll get but obviously these places don’t have a spot for you, it’s not you, Y/N, they’re dickheads.” You sighed after grabbing your phone off of the marble top bathroom bench. There was a moment of silence due to the fact that Anastasia was working on an assessment for one of her classes – most probably due the next day due to the fact that she kept complaining about how much she wanted to die.

“You know…” You began.

“What?”

“Paige told me about this group on Facebook and I joined it a couple of days ago.” You pulled up the group and took a screencap, sending it to Anastasia.

“Hospitality Job Hunters? Are you sure this is legit?”

“Yeah,” You shrugged as if she was actually right in front of you, “I know some people who got jobs from there, I guess people just post pictures of themselves and a description of what they’re about and a future employer responds.” Anastasia hums in response, looking through the photos you’d sent her.

“So, why not do it?”

“Well, first of all have to seen my face? My body? Compare all of this to the people who post on there.” She scoffs.

“Okay, first of all, shut the fuck up, you’re fine, and second of all, you’re posting to get a job, it’s not Tinder!”

“It’s like Tinder for jobs though.” She sighed through the phone, the taps of the keyboard loud enough for you to hear through the phone.

“I don’t know, Y/N, I reckon, just do it, you never know if you don’t try.” You mumbled a ‘whatever’ through the phone and another moment of silence crashed the entire conversation, “Anyway, I gotta get this done, text me in the morning?”

“Will do, ya lil bitch, have fun with that.” She laughs.

“I will, don’t worry.”

“If another person rejects me, I’ll stick my head between a door and slam it on myself.”

“You’ll be fine! Just relax and rip it off, like a band aid.” You let out a deep breath, “I love you, okay?”

“Love you too.” And with that, the phone call ended. You laid in your bed staring at the wall. You just needed to sleep this off, you can decide in the morning.

When you woke up, you still hadn’t decided and on top of that, you barely slept, making you cranky and ridiculously sleepy on the train. When you arrived to your class, you sat down next to your friends who greeted you warmly as they always did. Jean noticed your intense stare at your phone; three photos – one happy which showed your outgoing personality as much a still photo could, one smiling before seeing a musical, and one that looked like a headshot.

“Nice photos.” Jean compliments. Kadia looks over and agrees with Jean with a smile.

“What are they for?” Kadia asks.

“I’m kind of looking for a job on that Facebook group.” Jean nods. Shortly after, your other friends, Kiley, Bea, and Megan walk in and sit at the table just behind you. Kiley moves her blond hair away from her face.

“Just post them, Y/N.” She suggests, her sweet and shy voice comes out. The other nod.

“This is your last option, if you don’t get it, you’ll just have to wait until we graduate.” Bea interjects, “And that’s two years away.” And with that small push from your friends, you write a small description of your personality and attach the three photos into the post, pressing ‘post’ as quickly as you could. You set your phone down as Jean rubs your back in support and after fifteen minutes, you phone vibrates.

‘Jacob Fisher commented on you post on Hospitality Job Hunters’ It had said. You squeezed Jean’s arm and she looked at you with concern.

“Someone commented.” You whispered.

“Check it.” And so, you did. You gasped after you read it, “What?!”

“’Hey, Y/N! Send your resume through to my email and leave your number as well, I’ll call you today, so we can set up an interview.’” You read out to her quietly. She shook you by the shoulders and gave you a warm hug.

“This is it, Y/N, this is your job.” And you could feel it too, this was the one. This was your job, you believed. Eventually, Jacob called you with an interview waiting the next day. So far, everything was going great. You felt like you could breathe even just for a moment.

The next day, you’d met up with Jacob at a tall building, obviously the bar you were to hopefully going to work at. A small but very visually appealing sign hung above the entrance, ‘Heavenly Gin’, blinking bright and very pink. You sat by the front side of the bar where you were greeted by a blonde-haired girl with bright blue eyes, her smile was warm and welcome.

“Hi! How can I help you?” Just in front of you was a man, he too had blonde hair but his eyes were green and almost hazel, not a bad sight at all. You blushed softly at the sight of him when he smiled at you.

“I’m actually here to see Jacob Fisher.” You smiled at the girl.

“I’ll get him for you.” She held her hand out for you to shake. With nervous and clampy hands, you shook it, “I’m Regina, by the way.”

“Y/N.” As you waited, the blonde-haired boy began to make conversation.

“Hi, Y/N.” He greeted with a smile. Everyone, so far, seemed to be chirpy and you felt right in place, “I’m Roger.” He too held his hand out for you to shake which you did. He continued to polish the cutlery in front of him and separated them into different trays, “So, how’d you find us?”

“I, uh, posted on this Facebook group.”

“Ah.” He nodded, “Most of our bartenders here did the same.”

“Really? I feel less weird now.” You chuckled.

“Oh yeah? I’ve got another one for you, one of our bartenders actually ‘applied’, if you will, when he was drunk out of his mind during a night out and now, he’d been working here for two years.” It made you laugh. The though of a drunk guy having a very drunk conversation with Roger about how he needed a job, “On a scale of one to ‘I feel so out of place’, how weird do you feel now?”

“After that? I’m at a two.” He chuckled at your reply, “How long have you worked here?” You continued.

“I was hired just before the renovations, so around seven or eight months.”

“So, long?” You questioned, and he nodded.

“Long enough.” Footsteps were heard behind you.

“Aha! There she is, hi, Y/N, I’m Jacob!” Jacob was just a bit shorter than Roger. He wore a colourful Hawaiian shirt with some khakis, his brown hair was slicked back and his beard was quite thick. You jumped off of the bar stool and shook his hand, “Just come through here.” He took you behind the bar through a dining area after waving goodbye to Roger and Regina. He asked you about your likes and dislikes and why you wanted to work there. You chatted heavily about the Winter Olympics which you bullshitted a little bit due to your lack of knowledge on most of the sports but in the end, Jacob smiled and commended you for your quite outgoing personality. He had let you know that there was another waitress he needed to interview but so far, everything was going good for you and if he hadn’t taken another interviewee, he would’ve hired you on the spot but still, things were looking up. You thanked him for his time and said your last goodbyes to Regina and Roger before exiting the venue. You took and deep breath and prayed to whatever God there was up in the heavens and down below hell to bless you with this job and these seemingly good people.

By the week after, sure enough, Jacob had emailed you a list of uniform preferences and where to be when.

Friday, February 23rd, 2018

The smell of brewed beer and oak flooring filled your nose as the clock struck 3:30 PM. You wore a black top and blue jeans with black and white sneakers – regulatory uniform for staff at the venue. You were once again greeted by Roger who introduced you to the Venue Manager, Tyrone, and the Bar Manager, Josh. Tyrone looked down at you, not in a euphemistic way but in the literal sense. The man was at most, to you, like six foot five. He greeted you with what you sensed was an absolutely fake smile. He was unsure of you, almost like he didn’t trust you and your lack of experience and skills. You were used to the stare due to the fact that most places you had applied for, the interviewers had the same belittling stare. Tyrone showed you around the venue and the staff area before giving you a name tag and sending you upstairs into the high ground bar. Josh greeted you after you pushed your way through a sea of people.

“You feeling okay?” You nodded, “I can tell you’re overwhelmed and if you feel anxious at all throughout the night, just let me, Gianna,” He gestured to a small woman, with curly hair sticking out of her bun, “or Jane,” She was tall with blonde hair who smiled sillily at you, trying to make you feel welcome, “know, okay?” You nodded again with a much realer smile. Josh then introduced you to a fellow waiter, Joe, who wore glasses and had his long hair tied into a bun. He smiled sweetly at you and shook your hand. Josh left you with Joe who showed you every basic thing you needed to know; collect plates, glasses, light the candles, and of course, take some orders. He explained that at night, the bar turns into a club and that we needed to keep the place clean which meant checking bathrooms and cleaning up broken glass. To be quite frank, you didn’t know that waitressing meant doing all of this stuff, though, you weren’t complaining.

“So yeah, we’re pretty much the back bone of the bar, without us, these people would go to shits.” He laughed. Joe was sweet and made himself feel welcome and approachable. This was dangerous, knowing yourself, this would eventually get messy. He was sweet, handsome, funny, and approachable which was honestly a recipe for disaster for someone looking for love and affection. Someone who was inexperience with the world like you. He interrupted your thoughts, “By the way, you’re not the only new kid, see that guy over there?” He pointed over to another guy who looked almost exactly like him; long hair tucked away in a bun and glasses. You nodded, “That’s Harry, he’d new as well, maybe you could both bond over that.” He chuckled.

As night fell, Joe asked you to light up some candles and start spreading them out on each table. You subtly observed Harry from afar. He was handsome, incredibly handsome. When the light shone on his eyes, they were emerald green. His smile was contagious, evident in the fact that the girls he was serving were all smiley and giggly which also meant that he was probably a good conversationalist. You hadn’t noticed yourself staring until Harry quite loudly placed a glass into the dishwashing rack, making you clear your throat and look away.

“Girls seem a li’l crazy tonigh’, aye?” He began.

“Yeah, crazy.” You reply, still lighting up the candles.

“’M Harry.” He smiles.

“I know,” You cringed at yourself, “I mean, I don’t know but now I do know since you told me- Jesus, sorry, I’m- I’m Y/N, sorry to ramble, I guess I’m just nervous.”

“First day too?” You nodded, “I was like tha’ when I first started workin’ at a bar bu’ don’ worry, shit gets easier, don’ stress, yeah?” At this point, you were trying not to. And just like Joe had said, the bar had turned into a club type scene. People were starting to stumble in from their pre-drinks and began to order drinks from the Heavenly Gin bar. They started gathering on the dancefloor as early 2000s and late 1990s music blasted from the speakers. This was all fun and laughter to you since you’d never actually been clubbing or the such. You danced and sang along but still worked hard which you were commended by Josh when he laughed as he walked by. You continued collecting glasses that were empty and even collected one that was sitting in the same spot for almost four hours, untouched. It was almost empty, a sip left, and it would’ve been completely drained and so, you took it upon yourself to collect the glass, knowing that it was a rule to collect such glasses just in case it’d been spiked. The music was getting better and better which only made you dance more, making Harry laugh and join in. A few moments later, while putting some glasses away, you heard a commotion at the bar, making you turn your head. A dishevelled man was arguing with Harry.

“Who the fuck took my glass!?” He pointed at you and began to make his way behind the bar, “It was you, wasn’t it!?” The slur in his voice made it evident that he was, in fact, drunk.

“I- I, I just- I-it was s-sitting there, almost empty, I-” Harry watched as you stammered and stumbled on your words. He inched closer trying to keep him away. The man kept coming closer which only made Harry grow more protective over you. He held his arm out in front of you to keep you away from the intoxicated patron.

“I will talk t’her, mate, jus’ step outta th’bar.” The man growled in frustration.

“Next time, don’t take someone’s-“

“Mate, jus’ calm down! I said I’ll talk t’her, I’ll get yeh anotha drink, jus’ step out, yeh don’ need t’yell at her, I’s no’ tha’ big of a deal.” You stood behind Harry with the tea towel, that once hung off of your apron, covering your face. The man walked away with a huff, “Hey, yeh okay, love?” You couldn’t breathe, it was like the world suddenly crumbled around you, “Okay, okay, yeh alrigh’, Y/N, I’s no’ yeh fault, I’s yeh job, lovie.” He tapped the other bartender and let them know that he was off to take care of you. He took your hand and led you to the side door which led to the staff entrance. He rubbed your back and held you in his arms, hushing your sobs, telling you that you were going to be okay. After a while, Harry left you to calm down, Josh telling him the he urgently needed to be back at the bar. He left you with sad and sorry eyes, completely regretful and not wanting you to be left alone with your thoughts. You guessed that he knew what this feeling was like. When you had calmed down, you returned to your work and tried to cast away the anxious thoughts of being fired after your first day and to be faced with, once again, with the intoxicated patron who had been the source of your panic attack. Harry checked up on you frequently, rubbing your back comfortingly whilst speaking to you. It was later, after work, when you found out that Harry had spoken to the security guards and asked them to eject the man which made your heart warm. After work, you sat in the locker rooms by your locker and took a deep breath. Harry walked in and gave you a soft smile.

“How’s m’girl?” He asked, taking his jacket, bag, and red and white bobbled beanie out of his locker.

“I’m okay now.”

“That’s good.” He nodded. You weren’t really good at expressing gratitude and making the words ‘thank you’ leave your lips felt almost foreign in the sense that no one had really done this for you before. You cleared your throat and stood in the middle of the room.

“Harry?” He hummed in response, “I- I just wanted to say thank you for what you did.”

“Y/N, I’s alrigh’ I promise.”

“I know but you didn’t have to stick up for me like that but you did it anyway.” He walked over to you and engulfed you in a hug.

“I wasn’t gonna let some drunk guy yell at yeh fo’ summat so trivial, I’d never let anyone yell at yeh if I can help it.” He pulled away from you and looked at you, “A’ve always got yeh back yeah? From now on, yeh got me.” You smiled and hugged him tightly once again.

“Okay.”

“Okay!” He pulled away from you and put his backpack on, “Now, how ‘bout we get a drink downstairs an’ I’ll take yeh t’th’ station, how’s ‘at sound?”

“Sounds good, Harry.”

MASTERLIST

PERMANENT TAGLIST:

@abouttimefortea @minervaem @barnes-heaven @buckyywiththegoodhair @heartmade-writingbucky @hellomissmabel @justanotherbuckydevotee @alphaabucky @naenae87 @sunnyfortomorrow @aya-fay @terralingua-ua@topthis808 @savebxrnes @mizzzpink @janellexox0spiderman @lara-ludbey @bread-poet-society @jjlevin @marvel-fanfiction @zoejohnson8 @frickin-bats @iamwarrenspeace @kenmen02 @captianwintersoldier @bucky-bear-barnes @capsheadquaters @duncedgoofball @amisha25 @miniwroetofreezymd @honey-bee-holly @unstoppableminx @lancefvcker @stranger-stark-montgomery @avxgers @odinhson @marvelouslyme96 @rraise-a-glass-to-freedom @chonisberonica

#harry styles #harry styles oneshot #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fic #harry styles smut #harry styles series #harry styles fluff #harry styles imagine #harry styles drabble #harry styles blurb #harry styles x reader #harry styles x reader smut #harry styles x reader fluff #harry styles x reader imagine #harry styles x reader blurb #harry styles x reader oneshot #harry styles x reader drabble

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osmw1 · 6 years ago

Text

Dimension Wave Chapter 12 — A Shadow Creeping from the Darkness

“Cleaver!”

My Iron Chef’s Knife glows red as I shout the skill name out loud. I begin to spin then use the centrifugal force to cut down the Darkness Lizardman with great strength. Swish! The knife goes cleanly through the Darkness Lizardman’s right hand and, along with the bastard sword it was carrying, it falls to the ground.

“I bagged one. You all good there, Shouko?” “Completely fine! Wild Dance the Second: Bloom!”

Once Shouko opened her glowing fan, flower petals dances through the air like some sort of special effect and tear into the two Darkness Lizardman. One of them gets cut down but the other swings its bastard sword at Shouko. She catches the blade between her fan and cleanly snaps it into two.

“Recharge…”

As Shouko mutters, her fan begins to glow white. Then, she attacks the Darkness Lizardman by thrusting her fan. She probably didn’t need the helping hand, but at the same time, I stab the Darkness Lizardman with my Iron Chef’s Knife. Our combined efforts take down the monster.

“Are you injured, Kizuna?” “No, not at all. I did better than I thought I would but fighting two at once might be too much.”

I did get hit once, but it was nothing. Not to mention, I earned more Energy than I lost, so it’s a net profit. Then suddenly, Shouko’s folding fan glows even brighter. Her offensive skills often need to charge up before they can be used. It can be anywhere from 10 seconds to three minutes. The longer it gets charged, the brighter and more powerful her fan is. While it’s charging, she fights and blocks normally. If I had to nitpick, I’d say that the fan is kinda mediocre at both offense and defense. Most of the offensive skills are area of effect and so it doesn’t do a lot of damage. Plus, it doesn’t block as well as a proper shield would.

“Alright, then I’mma gut them up. Cover me, alright?” “I have your back.”

I point my Iron Chef’s Knife towards the Darkness Lizardman I killed. I start with scaling the monster and quietly mutter out a skill.

“Speed Gutting…”

It takes a lot less time with the skill activated. Plus, it’s not mentioned in the description, but there are two other effects that it grants you. The first one is that it increases the success rate. That’s why even when I do it so quickly, I get as many items as I would when I gut carefully. The second hidden effect is that the user feels a lot lighter and nimble. I’m guessing attack speed and gutting speed are both calculated the same way. Anyway, I gotta hurry up and butcher all three of them. We might be safe now, but who knows what’ll happen.

Clink!

The sound of Shouko parrying the enemy’s attack rings out. She’s already engaged in another fight. Enemies are coming quicker than I expected. Gotta hurry this up. We decided ahead of time that when I’m breaking down corpses and there are less than three baddies, then I’ll finish up before helping to fight. I get that it’s my job, but I’m still getting anxious about ignoring Shouko. I gotta do what I gotta do though.

“All done. And it looks like you’re fine too.”

As I finish gutting the three monsters, Shouko lands the finishing blow on the Darkness Lizardman. Needless to say, I go and cut up that fresh carcass too.

“How are you doing with your Energy levels?” “Aren’t you using skills more than I am?” “I have Energy Production X, so this is no problem to me at all.”

Two levels higher than me, huh? That’s an ex-frontliner for you. Even her skills are way beyond mine. Meanwhile, I finish up gutting and put the items in my inventory.

“Whew…”

I take a deep breath in the middle of this lull. All around us is forest, pitch black. The paper lantern Shouko brought with her is the only light source around. There’s not even a single star to shine down upon us. We’ve set up camp in the cave we found along the way. It’s been two hours since we’ve started, and I think we got the hang of it.

“Kizuna, how are you feeling? Are you tired yet?” “No, I’m good.” “Do not push yourself, okay? Even slight mistakes will cost us our lives as Spirits.” “This is nothing compared to the gaming sessions I was subjected to by Tsugumi.” “I see. Then, shall we continue for another hour?”

According to Shouko, Darkness Lizardmen are pretty good for experience. We’ve encountered a good number of them and so we’ve got a good number of items too. On the contrary, we encountered no other players to far. And, thanks to Shouko, we’ve been steadily chugging along. The biggest weakness right now is how dark it is. Maybe it woulda been better if I’d taken Night Vision. I have more than 20,000 Energy right now and I’m earning more at a good pace.

“…?” “What’s up? Did something happen?”

Shouko has an odd expression on her face. It’s the first time I’ve seen her like that and so I asked.

“No, but I hear something.”

You hear something? I perk up my ears too. Of course, I don’t have any skills or anything for better hearing, so I don’t actually hear any better. But…

Thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud.

She’s right. Footsteps of some kind.

“… over there!”

Shouko swings her fan at seemingly nothing. But, as she struck something with an audible smack, a somewhat transparent figure appears with a puff of smoke.

“Please, hold! I am not thine enemy!”

A ninja-looking figure clad in all black appeared. I bet he used a camouflaging skill like Hiding or something. And really? “Thine enemy”? What a clichéd character to roleplay.

“Your lies will not work on me. What are your true intentions for creeping up to us?! Speak!” “’Tis a misunderstanding! I am merely trying to escape a boss monster!” “A pathetic excuse!”

Shouko didn’t relent with her hounding, so I’ll cut it short. In any case, Shouko is being very suspicious of this figure in black and so I try to be the liaison.

“Well, let’s give him a chance to explain himself. Alright?” “If you say so, Kizuna…”

I soothe Shouko’s suspicions as I turn towards the ninja.

“So? Why were you hiding from us?” “Thou art mistaken; I did not mean to hide from thee. As I have said, I had been chased by a boss monster as I was gathering materials with dark attributes. Unfortunately, I encountered something more than I can tackle by myself and so, I escaped with my camouflaging skill to misdirect the monster.” “Hmph. Assuming you’re telling the truth, then where is the boss monster?”

I have a bad feeling about it, so I had to ask.

“It is in front of us, in the cave.” “I knew it…”

I had a feeling that might be the case when I first heard his excuse. Nervously, I take a look at the cave, but I can’t see well since it’s so dark.

“It is visible for me as I have acquired Night Vision.” “I see. Well then, my next question is what do we do about it?”

This Forest of Eternal Darkness blocks players from using teleporting items like “Tome of Returning” to send us back to town. There’s only one path and it leads directly to the cave. And that cave has now been taken over by a boss monster.

“What do you take us for?! We will not so simply perish!”

Shouko is unusually flustered. But she’s right. Us Spirits don’t die. Rather, when we lose all of our Energy, we just get really, really weak. We get sent back to level 1, you could say. Thinking about our situation carefully, it flusters me a little too. If we mess up, then we’ll lose all of the Energy we’ve earned up till now. Anyone got a good idea or anything?

“Please, take me with thee. I shan’t perish either!” “Hold on. I know why we won’t die, but why you too? Other races have penalties for getting defeated, right?” “It is for I am a Spirit.” “…”

I applied my palm directly to my forehead. They say there aren’t many Spirits in this game, yet there are three of us in this dungeon with practically nobody in it? Talk about a miracle.

“So are we.” “Pray tell, are we the same peoples?” “I would say that I am very pleased to meet another one of us, but not under these circumstances.” “I agree.”

If we had only met in different circumstances. Well, whatever. We’re still in this together.

“However, we should brace for this adversity we are about to face, though I do not mean to force it upon you. It is more so whether we are able to or not.” “Yeah, Shouko’s got a point.”

I don’t think any old plan would work against this monster. No matter how weak it might be, it’s still a boss. I’m not sure if our weapons would be any good against it. I really doubt we’d win in a head-on fight. Not to mention, we can’t rely on ninja boy. Why? Well, he literally was just running away from the boss.

“Let me atone for this sin through death!” “Hold your horses. Don’t jump to that from the get go.” “Oh, little Miss…”

… little Miss? I mean, I guess I look like a grade schooler. My character, I mean.

“It’s Kizuna. Don’t call me ‘little Miss’.” “It is my pleasure. Please call me Yamikage.” “… you a ninja or something?” “I did not know there were still ninjas.” “It’s because we’re in a game…” “O-Oh, but of course…”

Our introductions were short, but sweet. The guy clad in all black is Yamikage. Quite the stereotypical ninja. We’ve got a tomboyish GIRL, a traditional Japanese lady, and a old-timey ninja. … god, this is such an embarrassing party.

“Is the boss still in the cave?” “I see no signs of it moving.” “And just to make sure, what’s its name?”

I then quickly give Shouko a look. She always pays attention to the details, so she’d be useful now. But it doesn’t seem like she understands what my glance at her meant. You could almost see the question mark above her head.

No good, huh?

Well, we’ve technically only met today. I guess it was too much to expect to be able to communicate through our eyes. And by the way, what I meant was to check with her whether that name is correct or not. Who knows if Yamikage is laying? Maybe he’ll try to monster player kill or something.

“’Tis the Lizardman Dark Knight.” “The answer’s almost obvious but can the three of us beat it?” “That is unlikely.” “Aye, ‘tis an impossibility.”

It wouldn’t be a boss monster otherwise… It has been decided from time immemorial that boss monsters in MMOs are extremely difficult. Some raid bosses need nearly 10 people at once to be defeated. We might be up against something like that. But it doesn’t mean we’re completely out of ideas yet. It’s just that we might have to resort to cheesing the boss.

“Whatever. Do y’all have any ideas on what we can do?” “Aye. Perhaps we can run past the monster.” “You know, you escaped away from the monster by the skin of your teeth, right? Do you really think we can outrun it?” “’Tis another impossibility.”

So, we can’t escape it. Then, Shouko puts up her hand. I look straight at her.

“What’s your plan?” “How about we have someone act as a decoy?” “It wouldn’t be too difficult. But who’d it be?” “Since I have brought it up, let me take that role.”

It doesn’t sound like a bad plan, but I don’t like it. Shouko had already lost a lot of Energy by being defeated by another boss. It’s just my personal opinion, but I wouldn’t like to have that happen to a Spirit buddy.

“I’m against it.” “Nay for me as well.”

Surprisingly, Yamikage voted against that plan too. Maybe he’s looking at it from a Spirit’s perspective too.

“But why? Is it not our best plan?” “If we were to use Madam Hakoniwa’s plan, then let me be the decoy.” “Forgive me for being rude, but I believe both you and Kizuna lacks the defense. Besides, I have defensive skills with my folding fan. If I am lucky, then I shall be able to escape too.” “But, I had brought this problem to you. I cannot have Spirit comrades sacrifice their—”

I can’t believe that’s what they’re arguing back and forth about. They’re both so willing to make the sacrifice.

“I’m against either of you doing it. Why the hell are you guys so willing to throw down your lives?! What we should be focusing on is how to get all of us out alive, right?”

Both of them stare at the ground. This would totally be an emotional scene if this were a manga or something. Plus, there’s not much meaning to it if no one’s actually dying. We don’t know if Yamikage is going to accidentally MPK us either, let alone plotting doing so. Our first priority is to think of a better plan.

“Oh, right. I forgot to ask, but what skills do you have, Yamikage?” “I possess Night Vision I, Camouflage I, and Drain VII.” “Drain?” “It is dark magic which steals the enemy’s HP and MP.” “Huh. Didn’t know there’s a skill like that.” “Aye, that is correct. And as I am a Spirit, I would be absorbing Energy instead.”

That’s pretty handy, eh? But to have it at rank VII? That’s really high.

“Do you have a lot of Energy or something?” “Nay, such is not the case for me. I am but at around 20,000.” “20,000? That’s pretty much at my level then. How the heck did you get to rank VII already?” “I am losing 3,000 Energy each hour.”

… huh? To put it in other words, Yamikage’s spending Energy just to live? Our skills cost Energy to acquire. But because we can also take as many skills as we want, us Spirits can activate enough skills to be in the red. That’s how Yamikage’s losing 3,000 Energy per hour.

“Can you manage to earn anything?”

I guess you could call this high risk, high reward–style gameplay.

“I profit about 1,000 every day.”

So he says with a smug smile.

“Kizuna, he’s…”

Shouko is totally worried about his situation. I’m sure Yamikage can manage though. Well, I’d like to believe there are quite a few players who would do something like him. You could even say it’d be the more fun that way. By the way, our Energy levels are 20,000, 25,000, and 23,000 for Yamikage, Shouko, and I, respectively. Shouko also produces the most Energy out of all of us. In that case, Shouko’s plan might be our safest plan, but I wouldn’t never go through with it.

“Anyway, we can’t do anything if we can’t see the monster.” “Though, I am able to.” “Seeing is believing, as they say. I’d rather be able to see for myself. Let me get the skill too.”

I open up my menu and check under unacquired skills.

Night Vision I A skill for nighttime action. Activating the skill will counter any nighttime debuff. Consumes 200 Energy per hour. Costs 200 Mana to acquire. Unlock requirement: Be active for more than 24 hours during nighttime. Upgrade requirement: Be active for more than 168 hours during nighttime.

I take the skill and a look towards the cave. Since it’s only level I, it’s still pretty dark all around. But at least now I can see the outlines and silhouettes of the trees and stuff around us. … and there really is a boss monster there. It’s a humongous Lizardman clad in black metallic armor. In its hands are a massive lance and shield. There’s no way the three of us can beat it. And it doesn’t look like a folding fan can break its weapon either. And, did I mention that the guy is gigantic? Its physical appearance is definitely appropriate for a boss.

“… oh!” “Is something the matter?” “Maybe, just maybe…”

I tell them the plan that suddenly popped into my mind.

“Will this truly work?” “Probably. It’s an old trick I got from a game.” “Aye, but how shall we get its aggro?” “I think I might have an idea about that.”

This pinch we’re in might actually prove to be a good chance for us.

contents: /prologue/ /ch001/ /ch002/ /ch003/ /ch004/ /ch005/ /ch006/ /ch007/ /ch008/ /ch009/ /ch010/ /ch011/ /ch012/ /next/

(please support me on Patreon or Paypal)

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psychobender · 6 years ago

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The Principles of Excelence - PREME

Also known as 20 principles (Because you need to have the 10 basic ones for these to have some significant effect), these were designed and perfected to make you a sort of a genius. Not really an Einstein but definately standing out from 99% of the population if not more (Results are really inconclusive here because there are so few people who reach these milestones I can’t even research them correctly. Results here are solely based on logic reasoning and evidence from what I observe from me and 3 other friends of mine). Also valid to anyone but most useful to people who love their work.

1 - Self Learner at his/her favorite specific area (Inside Science, Arts and Philosophy)

About 20% of the people researched had an area in which they liked to study by themselves, but keep in mind... I’m talking about borderline self learner. Most people had hobbies and things they enjoyed doing and knew a bit more than the average person but few of them grasped a professional level of the skill. Also, keep in mind that no one had all the basic principles, which hurts a lot the use of the principles of excelence(The ones presented here).

To acquire this one, you must take the first step into becoming a self learner. Studying at least through wikipedia, youtube and using at least 6 of the 9 types of teachers (Refering to the types of teacher’s theory here). This is also about conditioning. Training yourself to be, at the very least, the best and using different tools to measure your progress (Even if it’s done subjectively) such as competing internally with someone you know or admire from afar. Do this until you map everything there is to know in the area. For instance, in Education I need to understand Neurology, Pedagogy, Andragogy, Geragogy, Heutagogy, Epistemology and the art of teaching on a very deep level to consider myself a well travelled educator.

If you fail this one, everything else is going to be either useless or just mildly helpful, as it’s not gonna give you the individuality enough to detach yourself from other people who just don’t study.

2 - Impossible to break your self esteem (Insults, constant failures, hard situations...)

Out of 68 people, only 2 had an actual unbreakable self-esteem. It’s understandable because of the dificulties you can find on this one such as depression, bullying and traumas. These can all make your climb a little rougher than it is for someone who doesn’t have these problems.

To be capable of having AND maintaining an unbreakable self esteem you need to look at your problems from a perspective of “How can I absolutely obliterate this problem to the point on negative existence?”. You must see every single problem you have as an obstacle to be demolished and turned into pasta by your own self, but of course, that also requires training and conditioning. To train that you’re going to need to tackle problems in every possibility and make sure you’re eating, sleeping and thinking well to actually muster the energy to do so in such intensity.

If you fail this one, your learning is going to suffer as depression creeps in, axiety feeds itself on your problems and people around you start to demoralize you away from your goals. It’s a horrible thing to see something like this happen when you don’t have any of these principles, imagine a full blown self learner giving in to such events. Tragic at the very least.

3 - Scientifically active

This is by far the most common on this list because the research has been done in people generally in their college years. 61% of people are in constant contact with some area of science. But then again, it’s College “Science” mostly. I admit defeat on the formulation of this question but if it serves of any cleansing, from my observations (I litterally asked everyone about every single item after the research was finished) I can remember of 20-ish people who are into some kind of science but none of them are actively going for it. Just sort of absorbing easy content. Not really critically thinking about every scientific article they read... in many cases not really thinking about any article they read. Most of them don’t read beyond the headline, oh my god humanity is doomed D:

To be properly active in regards to science you need to plan your studying or at least have a plan being followed intuitively. Not intuitively watching stuff.. Having. A plan. Being. Followed. Intuitively. Pay very close attention to those words because I mean it in every tiny technicality. Now this is also something that requires a bit of love and conditioning to what you’re doing. You need to look at every article as if they were trying to mislead you from the actual truth. Not only because this is often (Very often) the case but because this is going to make your argumentaation skills and reasoning skills a bit more robust when it comes to criticizing your own fallible brain. Once your realize how much and how often scientific articles lead us to the wrong or very questionable conclusions, it’s easy to be skeptical of all of them.

If you fail this, you will be ever more prone into falling for something such as Reike (Which claims to be quantum phisics but BOY AIN’T THAT A BLATANT LIE). Also, your knowledge is not really going to progress in terms of knowing what happens in fact. You might be great at applying techniques or intuitively applying what you already know but without your constant re-evaluation, these skills only leave you at a mediocre pro level.

4 - Has a plan where the worst case scenarios always happen and you are still fine.

10 out of 68 of the researched people said they knew exactly what to do in case everything goes wrong. Once again. None of those have got here without failing at least 5 principles. But to be perfectly fair and honest I do not know how true this is. I just imagine that if people don’t have their lives planned, they’re not going to have the worst case scenario planned. That would exclude 64 out of the 68 people. This plan is about considering the worst case and planning a way to make the worst case scenario be lucrative (Libertarian meaning of lucrative here).

To acquire that you only need meditation and rational planning. Think about your job opportunities, how much money you’re going to make (Worst case) and how much you need to survive and get by without losing any of the principles or losing yourself to desperate measures. You only get to live once, so it’s better to plan each charted course and each careful step along the byway.....If you caught that reference, please message me. To condition yourself to plan you gotta see your life as batman sees the fate of the planet. He has a plan to kill/neutralize every member of the justice league in case they go rogue. That is why I informally call this principle the “batman vaccine”. Because you plan your life just like batman plans his missions. Always 10 steps ahead.

If you fail this principle there’s no telling if your plans are going to be realized any time soon. Are you going to leave it on the hands of lady luck and pray for everything to work? News for you buddy, god doesn’t care about your plan. Make sure you remember that.

5 - Has a lucrative plan to follow (Open a business, plan a big shot at success or anything of the sort)

Nobody did this one. But realistically speaking, this is the hardest of them all. Preparing a plan in case you hit success and be prepared for it? Not even successful people are ready once it hits them. But there’s a saying that you need to remember for this one. “Luck is when opportunity meets preparation”.

To acquire this one you have to plan, test, research and plan again until you polish everything. Ask opinions from experts and non-experts to know what they think about it, your family, etc... Every opinion helps and if you manage to get a specialized one, perfect. But that requires more than just dedication and conditioning. It also requires a metric fuckton of time to study all the probabilities and come up with something that is realistically very good. This means that when people are just chilling you MUST be studying or at least meditating on your opportunities to come up with a better plan. Then you have to polish it a lot. I, for instance, spent 10 hours of my day doing that for some solid 5 years give or take. So, again. This is not easy but it’s something that needs to be done in order to produce wealth (Not money).

If you fail this one, everything you worked for so far is going to feel underused. It’s going to help a lot and it’s certainly going to take you places but nothing is going to make you more proud than a good carefully planned...plan...This sort of motivation is going to be lacking. Also, it’s a good amount of dopamine each time you get a positive answer from someone who you asked the opinion on it.

6 - Free of jealousy, hatred, possessiveness, authoritharianism and social constructs that lead to limiting the freedom of others in any way.

No one passes this one. The majority of people passed possessiveness, less people passed hatred, even less people passed authoritarianism but no one could beat jealousy. Although Jealousy varies from person to person and 2 people can live with jealousy all their lives, it would be unwise of me to cut it out since it is something that limits your your freedom as well. Also it makes you feel bad.

To acquire this one you need tons of conditioning because social constructs are not easy to get rid of due to the amount of positive reinforcement we receive everytime we do them (Even possessiveness has a niche where it is acceptable and welcome). First you need to rationally look at each one and ask yourself: “What does this do to me and the people around me?”. If you have freedom as a principle of yours it should be easy to reach the conclusion that they are all bad. Some worse, some less worse, but in the end all bad. And everytime someone recompensates you for a toxic behaviour you need to either stop yourself at the moment and think about it or take it to the bed and meditate on why you did it before sleeping. (Only do the second one if you have good control of your sleep, otherwise you might lose some sleeping hours.

If you fail this, you’re probably not gonna be a very good person to be around because of all the things you push into people. Some people can take it no problem, but it’s always better not to. You may even become the classic utilitarianist villain who wishes well to the world but does absolute harm. (Thanos is a good recent example of it)

7 - Able to use the Non-Violent Comunication from Mashall Rosemberg.

Surprisingly, 5 people out of 68 knew about it, but it’s understandable for people not to have or be able to use because of how specific it is but in reality, some people do it naturally because it’s something that we evolved to do well. Marshall Rosemberg explains the dynamic of it very well. It’s a way to solve personal conflicts. The objective is to understand what a judgment is, avoid it and express exclusively needs and feelings while taking responsability for your own feelings.

To acquire that, you’re gonna need to watch the man or ask someone who already knows how it works (Maybe a psychologist). After that you’re gonna be looking at everything and extracting the feeling and the need behind the judgment which really helps you become a more peaceful person. Train that skill so that you never get into a personal conflict again. Doesn’t require so much time in fact. A few days of practice should be more than enough, but it gets perfected with time.

If you fail this one, aside from still having personal behavioral conflicts bursting here and there, you might use judgmental words to describe things or people and that takes away the responsability you need to have towards your own feelings. Also it’s going to hurt your descriptions of anything cause you won’t be 100% accurate when differentiating subjective, judgmental and objective words and affirmations.

8 - Is always looking for the truth, not confirmations to one’s own beliefs.

Alright, so how can I even tell if someone is looking for confirmation, not the truth? Simple, it’s on how they start a debate or discussion. Whenever you start a discussion with certainty, it shows the lack of your questioning. For example: We want to discuss weather we should allow people to buy guns or not. If the person starts the conversation with an affirmation saying “I think we should because (...) Don’t you think?” This person is looking for confirmation. If the person starts the debate with something along the lines of “Why should we ban it?” it means the person is willing to listen the other’s opinions and evidences. This looks like a given but very few people actually approach a problem looking at it with an investigative mindset. The scientific mindset, to be specific.

To acquire this you just need to rationalize it. Most people are very accepting to the idea of being convinced to the other side, at least on the discourse. You can just start every discussion with a question, instead of an affirmation. A question is gonna give you much more information. Always confirm what you understood with the person like “Let me see if I got it right, (say what you understood)”. Do it everytime you wanna debate something and you should be conditioned in a few months.

If you fail this one, what is to say that your ideas are true? What if you’re believing in a lie? A misunderstanding? Misinformation? Indoctrination? It is one of the most crucial skills and one of the few who pay off really well regardless of what other principles you have. Of course, if you have the other principles, your studies are going to be of absolute quality.

9 - Pushes the boundaries between what is known, not known and misknown subjectively (Be it in art, science or philosophy)

This is a privilege of very few people but it’s actually the core lesson of properly learning. You have to look at everything with a grain of salt. What usually happens is people try to learn something and they go to the most respected people in the area but this is NOT the first step you should be taking. Doubt is an essential part of learning.

To be able to do that, you gotta deconstruct the idea that your teacher/professor is telling you the truth (Which, from my personal experience, is rarely the case). Humans are fallible and so are your teachers, besides, his views are probably shadowed by his own beliefs and values. He doesn’t come into class asking what you think of something, nor starts the class with an investigative mindset. (If he does, he’s a good teacher going very much against what he is supposed to in our current common educational system). You’re the one who has to go after it. Don’t trust opinions. Don’t trust facts! Instead, investigate how someone reached a certain conclusion and see if that is enough for you to reach the same conclusion, if it’s not, make an argument against it, present to other people, debate and discuss, look for more evidence. If you learned by trusting facts because the academia or someone respected said so, start from scratch and do all of this one time. Whenever you feel like it, do it again. Do it enough times and you’ll be thriving of your own education.

If you fuck this up............................BOI. You’ll be just like everyone who’s attending college, only a little more knowledgeable about things, but since you won’t be able to say how you reached every single one of your conclusions, they will be effectively worthless if you want to make any progress. They will add up to the fallacy of appeal to authority once you leave college though..

10 - Understands and speaks the world most spoken language (Currently english)

Now, people are very familiar with english, at least in Brazil. They can mostly understand it really well, speaking is the real problem. It’s important to understand english nowadays because most of what the planet has to offer in terms of information is written in english.

To learn that you’re gonna need to change your mindset of studying because unless you’re studying something specifically for one Brazilian or your native country’s region such as in the cases of studying the history of a specific place but then again, how important is that when compared the the whole fucking planet? Basically you need to understand that everything you look for is going to be better in english. From youtube to wikipedia to google, people from all around the globe produce english content. So change your research habits to english, your cultural preference to english (Be honest they already are) and get some friends from around the globe. Facebook, omegle, even habbo counts... Reddit would be the best choice though.

If you don’t learn english you’re going to be missing out 90% of what science, arts and philosophy have to offer to you and I believe that is bad enough.

Now let’s say you worked your ass off and got everything rationalized, conditioned and tested. How can one go beyond that? First of all, my goddamn congratulations for you cause that is definately not an easy or fast task. Now besides having access to all of that information, knowing how to learn properly and learning how to live life to the fullest in every sense... Go specialize yourself even further. Try to be the best at something. Now, enjoy your life, start your carreer and wait for the principles of the specialist to be posted here. At least there are just 8 of them.

#Preme #Principles #Andragogy #Education #School #Rules

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tanadrin · 7 years ago

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The Interview

After waiting for half an hour, Pray was well and truly bored. She fiddled with her terminal, then wandered around looking at the bookcases on the far wall. They were full of thick tomes like Interplanetary Development Economics, Sixteenth Edition and A Political History of the Martian Colonies, Volume Six. She rolled her eyes. Whoever used this office was trying to project a very specific image, and was killing a lot of trees to do it. There was a thin layer of dust over the books, too; they probably read them in digital copies, just like everybody else. If they’d even read them. She wandered over to the window that occupied the entire wall behind the desk. It afforded a sweeping view of downtown Abuja. The city was staggeringly vast. Pray knew that, somewhere in the back of her mind, but she never could comprehend just how vast unless she saw it in person. The first large city she’d ever been to in her life was Seattle. Her little apartment there had had a narrow view of the skyline, framed by two taller buildings, and even that narrow glimpse had seemed like a window into a huge, exciting place. Up here, the arcologies and the skyscrapers were two or three skylines all to themselves, strung out below her--and another beyond that, a whole extra city even bigger than Seattle or Vancouver. And another beyond that. And another. And another. She turned away from the window, feeling a little dizzy. She strode over to the desk, and sat down in the enormous high-backed swivel chair. She pushed off tentatively from the desk; the chair spun slowly, almost frictionlessly, in silence. Well, well. Control did not skimp out when it came to office furniture. She gave herself another push.

“Heh,” she whispered quietly to herself. “This is fun.”

Push. Spin. Push.

“Ma’am?”

Pray slapped her hand down on the desk and froze herself mid-spin. There was a tall, thin man, dressed in a carefully tailored suit standing at the door.

“Er… the director will be in in a moment,” he said. “Would you like anything? Water? Tea?”

Pray just shook her head. She only felt a little embarrassed. They were the ones wasting her time, after all.

The director strode in a few minutes later. He was bald, with a bushy gray goatee and a heavily lined face. Pray thought he looked like her grandfather, maybe, except much more serious. He didn’t even blink when he saw Pray sitting behind his desk. He sat in one of the large, heavy armchairs facing her, and spun the console around to face the other way.

“Good afternoon, Ms--what surname do you use these days?”

“Just Pray,” Pray said.

“Very well. Ms Pray. Welcome. I’m sorry to have kept you waiting.”

Pray shrugged. Not exactly an “It’s OK.” More of a “Pretty much what I expected.”

“I’m Director Osondu.” He tapped a few keys on the console and brought up a set of files; from behind the screen they were flipped and out of focus, but Pray could see a photo of her featured largely at the top.

“Your CV,”the director said, indicating the console.

“I never sent you my CV,” Pray said, raising an eyebrow. “I don’t have a CV.”

“We took the trouble of compiling one for you ourselves. We do that with many of our potential employees.”

“I’ve also never applied to work at Control.”

Director Osondu smiled. “No. But I’m hoping I can convince you.”

Pray laughed. “You want to offer me a job?”

The director nodded. “And not a job reviewing reports in Maitama, either. We have an assignment in mind.”

Pray leaned back in Osondu’s chair.

“What makes you think I’d want to work for Control? Heck, what makes you think I’m qualified?”

“Let’s see here. You were born in Washington, yes? In a Radhite community near Echo Valley?”

“Cooper Mountain, actually. People get the two mixed up.” If they’ve heard of them, she thought. Which they never have.

“Ah, yes. Let me fix that.” His hand darted over the console briefly. “You exercised your exit rights when you were sixteen, for reasons involving--let’s see here--personal bodily autonomy?”

“Yes. That’s correct.”

“Our records don’t elaborate on what those reasons were.”

“Good.” Pray stared at him, remaining pointedly silent.

“Ahem. In any case, you spent six years subsequently in Seattle finishing your education, before moving to Europe, then Asia, then South America, then the Antarctic colonies, staying in no city for more than eighteen months at a time. And then three years ago you came to Abuja, and you’ve been here ever since.”

“Yup.”

“What drew you here, if I may ask?”

“I like big cities. I like moving around. I want to see the world.”

“You haven’t moved anywhere in years. You haven’t even changed apartments since six weeks after you got here. You do some analytical work to supplement your basic, mostly for financial conglomerates and political outfits, but with your intelligence and abilities, you could easily find full-time work, enough to live pretty damn well. Even move to Mars, or the outer Solar System if you wanted.”

“What can I say? I’ve never been that interested in space travel. I like high gravity and being able to go outside from time to time. And I like my apartment. It’s cozy. Do you keep a close eye on everybody who decides to use their exit rights as a teenager? ‘Cause I gotta say, this is kinda creeping me out.”

“My apologies. We don’t as a rule, no. We consider the third freedom absolute. However, we have been interested in you for a long time. We just haven’t known… exactly what approach you might be most receptive to.”

“Well. This isn’t a good one, you know.”

“I haven’t finished making my pitch yet.”

“All right. So make it.”

“We want you to travel. In space.”

Pray laughed.

“Absolutely not,” she said. “There’s not enough money in the world.”

The director stood, and walked over to the bookshelf. He touched one finger to his lips, thinking for a minute.

“Forgive me,” he said, after a long silence. “I want to choose my words carefully, because I wish to express myself precisely.” He took a slim volume off the shelf, came back over to the desk, and slid it across the surface. Pray stiffened when she saw the title. It was Radha Munroe’s First Treatise.

“You know that book well, yes?”

Pray nodded.

“Would you agree that it’s, shall we say, convincing?”

Pray nodded again. “Sure. What’s your point?”

“It’s not just convincing. It’s elegant. Learned. Often, even, poetic. So profound, to at least some of its readers, that thirty years after the death of its author it found new life as the textual center of a movement. Something not quite political, not quite spiritual, and not quite personal, but located at the intersection of all three. A new, totalizing philosophy that built a community and transformed lives.”

“High praise.”

“I mean it sincerely. Do you know how many Radhites have exercised their exit rights since the first Radhite community was founded more than two hundred years ago?”

“Not many, I’m guessing.”

“Exactly one. You.”

The director took the book back. Pray could feel herself relaxing as he slipped it out of view.

“It’s not that I agree with everything Radha Monroe wrote. Nor do I think there have not been other Radhites who may have wanted to leave. But such is the persuasion and the power of the Radhite philosophy that, quite without coercion, at least of the kind that would provoke sanctions from Control, they have formed some of the most hermetically sealed communities in the Solar System. And believe me, we monitor the Radhites very closely. Yes, it’s true. We’re very careful. As I said--the third freedom is absolute. The closest thing we have to something sacred in this day and age.”

“They’re very good at brainwashing. So what?”

“The Radhites are uniquely good at it, if that’s the term we’re going to use. Every other community in the Archipelago has some kind of attrition, and the larger the community, the higher the absolute quantity. Religious communes, philosophical societies, intentional communities--it is an absolute. Some have higher attrition rates than others, but they all have them. All except the Radhites. Until you, anyway. And since you, not one. Not even from Cooper Mountain.

“My point, Pray, is that you are exceptional. Your biography alone--the fact you are out here, in the world, for me to speak to--makes you exceptional.”

The director flicked through Pray’s file faster now.

“Your life since, however, makes you even more remarkable. You graduated from university at age twenty, with top marks. You took proficiency exams which could have garnered you the position of your choice in the civil service or at one of a number of academic institutes--or even in Control--but you contented yourself with analytical work on the side. And your analytical work, particularly on emerging social trends, is considered on par with some of the best research collectives. Only an AI might do better--but AI won’t do this kind of thing.”

“AI can’t,” Pray muttered. “They only say they won’t.”

“If you did more than one report every three months, you could be living in a luxurious Japanese arcology. Or on the Moon. Anywhere you wanted, really. But instead you content yourself with a small apartment in Gudu. Lately you don’t even travel. I think I know why.”

“Do tell.”

“You’re bored. Government work doesn’t interest you. Bureaucratic work certainly doesn’t. And you know Control has a reputation for excellence, but you think all we are is glorified paper-pushers and, occasionally, law enforcement. Maybe you genuinely don’t like space travel, but I suspect you think there are simply no interesting challenges to be had elsewhere in the Solar System, so you prefer to spend your time reading and studying and watching the world from afar. You think maybe one day you will find a topic, a cause, a company somewhere that is interesting enough for you to feel really invested in, but you’re not holding your breath. You came to Abuja because it’s one of the biggest cities in the world. It’s home to Control, to a third of all U.N. agencies, and it’s as close as any city to the beating heart of humanity. But even here there’s nothing to draw you in.”

Pray shifted nervously in her seat. A small voice in her head told her to push off from the desk, and just roll her way down the elevator. As though if she did it smoothly enough, the director wouldn’t notice.

“That all sounds very speculative to me,” she said.

“Nonetheless, I think it is accurate speculation. Speculation of this kind is the reason I am valuable to Control. We think you could be valuable to us for other reasons. And we think you could get something in return.”

“Which would be?”

“Something you can be excited about. Would you like to meet an AI?”

Pray cocked her head. Now that. That was something new.

“You do not ‘meet’ AIs,” she said. “They don’t exactly socialize.”

“Nonetheless, I know where you could meet one. One who is very interested in meeting you.”

“You’re messing with me,” Pray said flatly.

“I do not mess.”

“Where? When?”

“Here. And now.”

“And I have to accept your job offer, whatever it is?”

“Not at all. They will help me explain it. Then you can decide whether to accept it or not.”

Pray leaned forward in her chair.

“I’m listening.”

The director entered a command into his console; a large screen emerged from the wall to the left, and flickered to life. What appeared on it was rather like a face, or the ghost of a face: a suggestion of eyes and a mouth and other, less distinct features on a flickering, phosphorescent background that sometimes cohered into something strikingly human, and sometimes suggested something altogether alien. Pray stared at the screen with intense interest; she realized she was holding her breath.

AI did not, as a matter of course, involve themselves closely in human affairs. The dream, centuries ago, had been creatures made in mankind’s image: creatures of humanlike dispositions and intellect, implemented in the medium of a machine. Of androids, perhaps, or things vaster and far more than human in their powers, but human enough in their values and desires that there could still be meaningful conversation between them and us, even if it was as a mere mortal might speak to an angel.

That turned out not to be the reality.

Artificial intelligence, machine intelligence, had indeed come, but it came from a quarter and in a manner no one had quite expected. The result was emphatically unhuman. Not inhuman; not monstrous. But just as the mammalian intellect had inevitably been the outcome of a certain evolutionary process, a certain set of cognitive solutions to specific biological and ecological problems, the machine intellect was a different set of answers to an entirely different set of questions.

Three hundred years ago, after the first tentative and failed attempts to establish a permanent presence in star systems outside the one humanity had arisen in, during the dark age between the second and third space races, the first true, general machine intelligences had been created. The results proved alien and unsettled many; even attempts to record entire human brain states, to provide the AI with as complete an understanding as possible of their creators, had only bridged the gap a little. That unease grew into genuine fear when an AI colony was discovered orbiting a brown dwarf a little under seven light years away.

Their goals, the machines said, were different from ours. They need not be in opposition; they were not our enemy. And they were willing to help us, to be of use to us so far as they were able, but if the utopians of previous centuries had dreamed of a society where man and machine were twined together, a symbiosis of two distinct but complementary organisms, well, that hope seemed to have been dashed. For the most part, they would pursue their own existence and their own ends. Control was entrusted to be the mediators between Core and the AIs, but as far as anybody knew, even Control’s contact with them was only sporadic and brief. Pray had never dared hope she might meet an AI herself.

“Pray, meet Lepanto. Lepanto, meet Pray.”

The shimmering face seemed to nod, and spoke with a synthesized voice that had a hint of the uncanny about it. Such, Pray had heard, was the norm; machines, no less than humans, did not their interlocutors to forget how alien they were to one another.

“Greetings, Pray,” Lepanto said. “I am pleased to meet you.”

“I, uh, yeah. You too,” Pray said. “Welcome to Earth.”

“Thank you. In fact I have been here for some time; we maintain a small presence in Core systems at Control’s expense.”

“Lepanto is a mediator,” the director said. “Their lineage is intended to facilitate communication with our people, but you should be aware, they are merely… less alien.”

“Indeed.” Lepanto’s image wavered, and for a brief moment, was full of a surfeit of eyes and other strange features. “I am here because Control has identified an interest common to my kind and yours. We believe that you, Pray, would be of particular help in solving our quandary.”

“Why me?” Pray asked.

The director turned the console to face Pray, and struck a key. The file being displayed was replaced with an image of a world, something computer generated maybe, or taken from orbit.

“Have you ever heard of a colony world called Ecumen?” the director asked.

“It doesn’t ring a bell,” Pray said.

“It’s old. It was colonized in the 2600s.”

“I didn’t think there were any colonies that old that had succeeded.”

“Nor did we,” the director said. “Until about twenty years ago, when Ecumen was rediscovered by the machines.”

“What did you find out?”

“Distant surveys told us little,” Lepanto said. “We sent a high-velocity probe to the system, to initiate contact. Four mediators, like myself, working in concern. Their report--disturbed us.”

The image on the console changed; various surface features were highlighted or shown blown up, in inset frames. Ecological data. Large urban centers. A handful of small space stations and orbital manufacturing.

“It looks pretty normal to me,” Pray said.

“On the surface, yes,” Lepanto continued. “Artifacts, not apparent to human eyes. Problem akin to Benford’s Law.”

“Explain?”

“The frequency distribution of numbers in data sets. Favors low numbers in leading digits, yes? Consequence emerges from data spanning many orders of magnitude; easy to detect when data is falsified if it fails to conform. Not immediately obvious to human eyes.”

The console changed again; a dozen graphs appeared. Demographic and actuarial data, economic information, patterns of migration, and more that Pray couldn’t make immediate sense of.

“Emissaries spoke to Ecumen, learned of their history. Their societies. Their culture. Sought to understand them as we seek to understand all human worlds. We learned much. But the patterns were anomalous. Irregular. Wrong.”

“So they gave you bad data?”

“No. All data corroborated. Independently verified, from sources and from our own orbital surveys. Problem apparent in the data, not an artifact of the data. Something is terribly wrong on Ecumen.”

“So it’s an outlier. There are almost two dozen colony worlds now. Every one has its own unique environment and circumstances. They can’t all be the same.”

“We have spent more than a decade examining this data. The emissaries brought it to the attention of the collective, which took an immediate interest; more than half our stable nodes were diverted to attempting to understand Ecumen. It is an impossible world. It should not and cannot exist as it does. Population growth rates follow anomalous patterns that do not conform to any understanding of human biology or society, even accounting for specific conditions. Similarly, economic investment. Patterns of land cultivation. Everywhere, something is off.”

“The reports the collectives have compiled are… dense, to be sure,” the director said. “Not all of it is very accessible to our analysts. But Control makes a habit of compiling as much data as it can about human societies and their development. We couldn’t do our job otherwise. And we agree. Something very unusual is happening on Ecumen, and only on Ecumen.”

Pray was scrolling through the data on the console now. It was certainly suggestive of something, but she’d be damned if she knew what.

“And there are underlying patterns here? It’s not just random deviation?”

“No,” Lepanto said. “In fact, the patterns conform to specific mathematical structures that, until we shared with Control, we believe were not known to any humans, in Core or the colonies.”

A series of complex, shifting geometric figures appeared on the screen. “The collectives consider questions of natural science,” Lepanto continued. “It is important to us, as it is to you, to understand the universe. We wish to know many things about it--how it operates, how it came to be. It is one of the few areas in which we understand ourselves to be very like you. We are both curious.”

“And these are?”

“Three-dimensional representations of complex mathematical objects that govern the states of fundamental particles in certain simulated universes. They correspond closely to the patterns we perceive in Ecumen’s human population.”

“So you’re saying there is a natural basis for these patterns?”

“No. All these patterns arise only in universes which have physical laws radically different from our own. Almost all, universes where life, human or machine, could not exist.”

Pray sat back in the director’s chair and stared at the screen, turning over a hundred possibilities in her mind. Yes, indeed. Something strange was going on on Ecumen. Maybe a coincidence. Maybe not.

“And there’s no way this is random?” she asked. “That you’re seeing patterns in chaotic information that have arisen by chance, excluding everything that doesn’t fit?”

“It is not pareidolia, if that is what you mean,” Lepanto said. “Conditions on Ecumen have continued to align with our forecasts. The data is predictive.”

“Are you interested?” the director asked.

“Oh, it’s all interesting as hell,” Pray said. “But what on Earth do you want me to do?”

“We’re sending a delegation to Ecumen. Officially, it’s diplomatic: Control has no presence there, and since Ecumen is interesting in acceding to the treaties, we’d like to open diplomatic relations. And, for obvious reasons, we’re a little nervous about them coming here, in case this phenomenon is somehow capable of spreading. But along with the diplomatic team, we’re sending some researchers, and a few agents to assist them. They, with Lepanto’s help, will conduct an intensive study of Ecumen, and attempt to figure out what’s behind all this. We’d like you to be part of the team. But, of course, I know how you feel about space travel…”

“Fuck that,” Pray said quickly. “I’ll do it.”

The director smiled. He slipped a folded-up piece of paper from his suit pocket and laid it on the desk. “Here’s an employment contract, if you’d like to look it over. If you sign before lunch, there’s an orientation for new analysts being conducted on the 16th floor at two o’clock.”

“That’s it? You don’t want to, like, interview me or something?”

The director shook his head and stood. “Ms Pray, it is our job to identify the best and the brightest, to help them achieve their greatest potential in exchange for helping us safeguard and support the flourishing of the human race. We don’t conduct ‘job interviews.’” He paused for a moment. “You do get an expense account, though. They’ll tell you the specifics at orientation.”

Pray unfolded the sheet of paper and started reading. The director cleared his throat. Loudly.

“However,” he said, “If you don’t mind, I’d like my office back now.”

#tanadrin's fiction

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quaintrelle-on-the-loose · 6 years ago

Text

We are now half way through 2018 and a lot of things happened these past months. A lot of things changed and things haven’t remained the same since i started “adulting.” There are days that I’d just tell myself, “So this is what adulting means ... So this is how it works.”

On Friendship.

This is one aspect in my life that rotated 360 degrees since i started having a job. I am such a clingy person. I wanted to keep in touch and talk to friends a lot. I was always the one who initiate get togethers and hang outs. But recently, it changed. That’s one thing about adulting. You tend to do less because you’ve got such a limited time and you wanted to spend it with things that and with people who matters MOST. I am not saying that my friends don’t matter to me anymore. What I am trying to say is, right now, I just have other things that I prioritize more than going out and spending my time out with friends. I still love going out with friends. I love catching up and having fun with them. But unlike before, when hang outs and meets ups get cancelled, i don’t give too much fuss about it anymore. Before, i get pissed off a lot when things like this happens, but now, i just let it go so easily. And one major thing too is that i aint the one who initiate such meet ups anymore. Sometimes, yes. I still do. But not as often as before.

Another thing that i realized is that i don’t send long mushy messages and birthday greetings anymore. I am such a sucker for long and cheesy messages. I used to write and send friends such thing. But recently, I just don’t feel like doing it anymore. I’d think about it, decide to do it, and then when I’m already on it, I’d end up just sending a simple message.

I know that I owe my friends a lot. I know that. And I couldn’t blame them if one day, they’d decide to turn their backs on me. I couldn’t blame them if one day, when i’d decide to return, they wouldn’t be there anymore for me. It’s fine. Trust me, it’s fine. Because right now, with all the things that are happening, and the things that I chose to prioritize, what I need are low-maintenance friendships --- friends who’d understand that I got other things to do and prioritize and who wouldn’t demand a lot of my time and get pissed off of me when I don’t get to go out with them and chill. Friends who’d understand that my world doesn’t revolve around them and who’d let me grow on my own. Friends who’d support me on the things that i want and have to do and understand if i’d rather choose to sleep and rest than go out and drink. To my friends who don’t understand this, I am so sorry. I am so sorry for failing you. You can go. And I’d understand.

On Love Life.

I like someone right now, yes. But that’s it. I’d leave it that way and won’t do anything about it. I don’t see us going to a higher level anyways. Why not fight for it and take the risk? Well, as i said before, I’ve already learned to choose my battles. And he isn’t one of them. I am already okay with what we are and what we have now. That’s already fine with me, trust me. Why not look for another? Because I can’t and don’t want to. One thing about me is that when I liked someone in a certain phase in my life, it’s kinda hard for me to move forward and try it with someone else. It would take some time for me to try and like (as in really like) someone else again. It’s either i don’t feel like giving it another shot, or i’m just too lazy to do anything including flirting or something, or maybe because, he isn’t here yet. He hasn’t arrived yet.

I also know that I am not yet ready for this. You see, i can’t even prioritize my friends (especially the long and trusted ones) right now. My social life’s a bit of shaky at the moment. I have so many things that I want and have to do but the time is so limited. It’s actually just recently when I realized that I am not yet prepared for this. I am not yet ready to let someone in my life and give him the time and attention that he deserves. Love life is not yet a priority for me as of this moment. I gotta deal with other things first before i let myself fall in love and be with someone. I have to prepare myself first. And I have to give value to the things that and the people who I have now before giving value to something that I do not have yet. Also, I know that i better prepare myself for this because once i have it, i don’t have the plan of letting it go anymore. Yes, i want it that serious.

On Finance.

I promised myself before that once I started earning my own money, I’d make sure to also start saving up for real. I actually did and accomplish this goal for five months. I had my savings. Yes, had. Past tense. ‘Cause now, my savings fund’s balance is Php 0.00. I thought saving’s easy. I was so proud of myself months ago being able to save up a portion of my monthly pay. But in just a blink of an eye, it all got spent. LOL! IT’S FREAKIN HARD TO SAVE! Haha.

I decided to restart this August. But for the nth time, I failed. Until I decided to just let it be. Because it’s really impossible for me to save right now. I don’t have a lot of whims (uhm, just coffee shops and books and okay i have a few or so i get it). But no, the reason why I let the idea of saving go (for now) is because it’s inevitable to spend and spend and let go of money for a house. We are currently renovating our house and I have to help out with the finances. And it’s fine with me. Really. Being able to help out with the family’s expenses brings me joy. It gives me some sense of fulfillment and accomplishment in a way. And not just out of responsibility but I also want to give back to my parents. That’s why i decided to give up saving for now.

I also decided to not be too hard on myself. As what Papa also said, I am just starting. It’s fine to not be able to save yet this early. Not until he told me that last night that I realized that I am pressuring myself too much. I even felt guilty for spending for some things that I enjoyed and am so happy about.

At this point, what I’m telling myself is that it’s fine. It’s fine to spend for something that’s necessary. It’s okay to spend for coffee because that’s my way of relaxation. It’s okay to spend for the leisure events and activities. It’s okay to not have savings because I am spending for the house. That investing on the house, on myself, family, the life moments, memories, experiences and fun are way more important than the money.

But next year, I promise to really start saving FOR THE DREAM/S! I’d just let this pass for now since im a newbie. But next year, I have to! No more buts.

On Work and Career.

Who would have thought that i’d end up as a data analyst once I graduate from college? Nobody. No one, including me. I’ve never planned this. And even when I already had the job, I could remember saying that i’d give it a shot for just a year. Yes, being a data analyst wasn’t in the equation until i decided to grab the opportunity. It was a major “detour.” And even if it wasn’t really the thing that I wanted to do and have at first, i know that God allowed it to happen for a reason. And i ain’t regretting grabbing the opportunity that opened up to me when this year started. It was so life-changing!

I am so grateful for having this as my first job. I’ve been doing it for six months now (going seven) and to my own surprise, i am still enjoying it. The work environment helped a lot. It feels good not just waking up every day going to the office just to work. Every day, I also look forward to seeing my office mates which i had the chance to know and share stories and laughters with. It feels good having to grow as a person socially and professionally.

One reason I see why until now I don’t get burnt out at work is because I always see to it that I still have work and life balance at the end of the day. That’s one of the first lessons that I’ve learned from my former manager and my trainer --- to know my limits and to not overwork. I got that advice during my first performance assessment and continuously applies it. Knowing your limits, managing and appropriating time, and prioritizing having a life outside work is a must. As what Hillary Clinton said, “Don’t confuse having a career with having a life.” I also read this statement that says, “A job is a job. It’s a way to pay for a living, but that’s it. Don’t let it define your happiness. You work to live, not live to work. Work on what makes you happy.”

Is data analysis then the career that I still wanna pursue years from now? To be honest? I doubt it. I wanted to have a career that could impact a lot of people. I still do. I am still looking forward to it. I know my passion and I know that this isn’t it. I like doing what I am doing but I am not really that passionate about it. There’s a big difference there. I still need time to prepare myself and the resources that I need to pursue what I really want but for now, I’d be staying as a data analyst since I don’t have any reason yet so far to leave. But in the near future, I pray that I’d be able to do what I really want to do and accomplish one of my life’s purposes.

Through out this entry so far, I kept on saying that time is so limited that I don’t get to prioritize this and that. That I don’t get to spend time with friends anymore unlike before, that I don’t have time for love life just yet and so on and so forth. I don’t give all my life and time to work either! So people’d ask what makes me so busy? Why does it seem like i am always rushing to log out at work? Where am i “appropriating” my time? My life?

I got three things: my family, myself, and Him:

On Family.

Majority of my time now, most especially when I go home to the province, is just for my family. That’s also the reason why I don’t initiate meet ups and hang outs with friends anymore too every time I go home. I want to spend more time with my family most especially with my parents. That’s one realization that I’ve got to see while i am adulting. While I feel like im growing as person: That as I grow, my parents aren’t getting any younger. That’s why I want to just be with them every time I have the chance to go home. I don’t want to regret someday that I haven’t showed them how much I care for them and how much I love them.

In terms of the the entire family tho, meaning not just my nuclear family, 2018 has been so challenging so far. The family has its highs and lows these past months. Some family members were faced with health problems (including Papa. We just found out last week that he has a lump on his right lung and we still don’t know what it is exactly since he is still under observation) and finances.

It is a challenging year for the entire family now. We are all being tested in a way or another but I am still optimistic about it all. These all are nothing but God’s test and we’d get through it. I know that He has a purpose for all of these. He wanted to test and teach us.

The conflicts are there, the misunderstandings and what nots are there. But I know that we’d make it through all these. I have so much trust and respect to this family that brought me up. And I’ve been so open and vocal on how grateful I am of having to grow in a family that has this strong bond and foundation.

On Myself.

When this year started, I promised to give this year to myself --- to allow myself to do what she wants, to be who she really is, and to grow. This year is for self-knowledge and discovery. I just entered a new chapter in life and before this, I lost myself. Little did I know that losing myself would be one of the major turning points in my life. Though I realized this last year, it is just this year that I gave myself the opportunity to really grow and live. As in to truly live. I wanted to “fix” and invest on myself this year because I realized that in a cruel world like ours, self-love is important. That knowing and accepting yourself could turn your life upside down. And I wanted to invest on myself because I believed that I couldn’t give what I do not have. Doing this all has changed me. It brought optimism in my life that has been once dark. And it gave me the courage to be fearless and step out off my comfort zone. To fight and stand for what I want and just be who I am.

This is also the reason that I don’t feel guilty about ditching some galas from time to time. I deserve to sleep, rest. destress, and recharge on weekends. I deserve and need my Gutsy Days and Life Pauses. I deserve love and happiness. I deserve to have a life. And to live.

On FAITH.

But above anything else, this is the most important thing that has been happening in my life this year. One of my goals this year is to strengthen my relationship with the Lord. And while investing on myself (i.e. figuring out what I really want and stuff like that), knowing my worth and the importance of self-love in my life is, it was really Him who saved me and who changed my life perspective.

Last Thursday night, I attended this talk at church after work about Depression. And that’s when it sunk it to me. Everything. I was really depressed last year after I graduated. I was feeling so much lowness, sadness and disappointment. I didnt know what to do next in my life. I felt numb. I felt unmotivated. Hopeless, even. I lost myself! And while Pastor Tito Almadin was talking about how people can help others with depression, I realized that I didn’t really receive those kinds of help from others. Nobody around me knew that I got depressed! While I was busy sulking and self-pitying, everyone thought that I was doing just fine. They didn’t know how much sadness I was already feeling. They didn’t have any idea that i had too low self-esteem already. While the talk was on going that night, once again, I saw how His grace saved me. Those things that Pastor Tito was talking about? I didn’t get any of it. How can I get help from others if they didn’t even know that I needed help? As what I said, I don’t know how it happened but I just found myself turning to Him again. After years of neglecting Him calling me, at my lowest point, I came back to Him. And it was exactly one year ago when that happened. Days after going back to Him, I had then the opportunity and courage to tell my sister, one of my trusted friends, and my former college dormmate who’s older than me what I was going through. And it was just now that I’m writing this that I realized that all of them are Christians (He really gives us what we need!). Since then, my life has changed.

Tho I already accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior, I admit that there are still days that I get tempted by this world’s desires and standards. There is still disobedience in me. It is not easy. I know that it’s not gonna be easy. But as what the Bible says, we are a living sacrifice and we’d really have the tendency to drift away from the altar. We are not expected to be perfect because we really are not. What’s important here though is that we always seek to strengthen our relationship with the Lord --- resurrendering our lives every day when we need to. This one is what gets me busiest these months --- strengthening my relationship with Him. Because before everything or anyone else, it should be Him first.

This is the reason why nowadays, i tend to do less. My Monthly Highlights and blog entries already got piled up, i don’t go out as often as before, don’t chat with people personally and online as much as before, etc. Little by little, I am learning how to value and appropriate my life and time wisely. We all have limited time and we have to learn to spend it on what really matters. And right now, here’s mine. You’d see what matters to me just by seeing where and for whom I spend my time. We gotta focus on what matters most.

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