#I got accused of intentionally giving her change

[knoxham]

Customer: *places a couple coins on the counter behind me, where I can not see, and then hands me two 50 dollar bills

Customer: out of 100.

Me: you got it! *starts collecting their change from the register, customer says nothing*

Customer: *watches, still saying nothing*

Me: okay so here’s your receipt and your change!:)

Customer: are you going to take my coins? I don’t want any change that’s WHY I took them out. aren’t you going to open your drawer? just give me a dollar. you saw me. you did that on purpose

Me: ???

[willbyersabyss]

Mike is gay

Disclaimer: This is my personal interpretation and is not meant to start discourse. Anyone who calls it discourse will be blocked, thanks!

The biggest reason why people believe Mike is attracted to girls is because of his relationship with El, especially in season one. I don’t think he was genuinely interested in her at all. I think Mike was and has been experiencing a lot of compulsory heterosexuality. That’s not to say that Mike has been intentionally deceiving El all this time, a lot of his behavior was subconscious! That’s how socialization works! We aren’t always aware of the expectations being forced on us and this is especially true for heterosexual socialization. Now let’s see how the show hints at Mike’s relationship with El being a case of comphet:

We are supposed to believe that Mike fell in love with El when they met, but when we watch the first week they spent together, it’s pretty obvious that that’s not the case. Mike showed simple kindness to El when they first met because she was clearly scared and traumatized. Mike is a very protective person, as we learn throughout the show. He wasn’t being kind to her because he’s romantically interested, he’s just a protective person. 

El is the only girl in the show that Mike shows “interest” in. It’s established before Mike’s crush develops that El looks like a boy to outsiders! We are also reminded of this after there are romantic hints between mlvn (when Troy is talking to the police). She doesn’t even look like a girl! So the only girl we see Mike with in a romantic context looks like a boy. Yeah that supposed attraction to girls isn’t looking great right now.

Mike and Dustin are discussing how El got her powers when Lucas starts accusing Mike of having a crush on El. Mike didn’t say anything remotely romantic about her, he was just correcting Lucas that it’s okay to be weird! Also it’s interesting how they only compare El to male superheroes. Not only that, they compare her to the X-Men! Lucas believes Mike is interested in El right after they compare her to men? Okay.

Edit: Despite the deceiving name, the X-Men are actually not all men! There is a woman superhero with telekinetic powers that they were likely comparing El to. The choice to use the name X-Men rather than the actual character is an interesting choice, though!

Side note: I feel like Mike had similar views to Jonathan on normalcy in the beginning of season one, but that changes as people lead Mike to be with El. He thought it was okay to be different, maybe even cool, until his friends and family told him otherwise. Anyways!

Mike seems genuinely confused during this scene. This isn’t the typical “What? No way!” reaction that an embarrassed 12 year old would have when discussing a crush, Mike genuinely doesn’t understand why Lucas made this assumption. If you watch the scene, Mike’s tone isn’t defensive or embarrassed. If Mike had a crush on El at this point, why was he confused by Lucas’ assumption? This is definitely where Mike starts to mix up admiration for love. Lucas has a huge influence on how Mike views relationships. Since Lucas thought Mike had a crush on El, Mike must like her right? Mike starts viewing El in a different light after this interaction, beginning his comphet journey. 

Mike only starts to show signs of a “crush” on El after Lucas implies that he should. A boy being nice to a girl? Must be love! This is a huge sign of heteronormativity. Mike starts acting on these heteronormative expectations. He gives El a makeover to make her look like the ideal girl, he calls her pretty while acting out the “guy sees girl all dressed up and is shocked!” trope, and gives her special attention. Honestly I’m trying to find more romantic mlvn moments in s1 to help my point and there just… aren’t any. That’s it. He calls her pretty a few times and then they kiss at the end. 

This line sticks out to me. El is the first girl that isn’t “grossed out” by Mike and this is why Mike likes her. He doesn’t like El, he likes the concept of El. Mike is a very insecure person who has been called ugly by bullies his entire life. When El, a cool superhero, shows interest in him, he feels like he must be cool by association. He’s been told that girls being attracted to him is a marker for importance and he finally has that. Mike doesn’t want girls to be interested in him because he wants a girlfriend, he just wants his insecurities to be relieved. Mike admires El’s super powers because she’s similar to the (male) superheroes he admires. His relationship with El is based on admiration and the desire to be desired rather than actual attraction. This is a common symptom of comphet (from personal experience). 

Later on, El asks if she’s still pretty without the wig. Mike reassures her that she’s pretty and then he makes a face. What is this facial expression? Why does he look grossed out after calling El pretty? El starts to lean in towards him and he just stands stiff. He does this in later seasons as well, but I’ll get into that later. El is trying to kiss him (?) and he’s frozen. Why isn’t he leaning in too? It seems like he doesn’t want to kiss her. Interesting. 

Mike and Nancy have a conversation about their new love interests. Nancy assumes Mike was acting weird because of Will and Mike thinks she’s been weird because of Steve. The thing is, they were right. Nancy was acting weird because of Steve! She was performing a big act of conformity at the beginning of the season. What was this conformity? Ditching her nerdy interests and trying to grow up by getting a boyfriend. Sound familiar? That’s a surprise tool that will help us later. Mike was being weird because he was grieving and looking for Will. Everything he was doing was to find Will, even hanging out with El all the time. They’re both right in their assumptions here while implying that they were wrong! 

Nancy, like Lucas, has a big influence on how Mike views relationships. When she assumes he likes El, he acts grossed out because Nancy denied his accusation that she likes Jonathan seconds earlier. He’s mirroring her because he admires her, whether he wants to admit it or not. We see him find her cool for breaking the lock just before this! He wants to be like his big sister. So now two people Mike looks up to have tried to get Mike to see El romantically. Mike is definitely internalizing these assumptions. Everyone thinks he likes her, so must like her, right? 

It’s interesting how Nancy implies Mike’s behavior around El is weird. It feels similar to…

Another person who finds it weird that Mike is hanging out with a girl. Is this just Mike’s family teasing him about being nerdy, or is he lacking an interest in girls in their eyes? The people closest to Mike (Lucas, Nancy, Ted, and Karen) all find his behavior around El to be weird. I don’t necessarily think they suspect that Mike is queer, but from the audience’s perspective, this may be hinting at him being gay.

This conversation is extremely queer coded as well. Karen talks about being more open while Mike is literally hiding someone in his closet! Mike is hiding a girl (who looks like a boy) in his closet. Is he hiding his lack of attraction to girls in the closet?

“All this that’s been going on with Will, I can’t imagine what it’s been like for you.” Is the beginning of this conversation. So what was going on with Will? Obviously that he was missing, but what exactly did the town think happened to Will? They thought he was killed either by a homophobe or another queer person. Karen seems to be fairly popular in Hawkins so she probably heard these rumors. On the surface, this just seems like a conversation about grief, but when you look closer, is Karen trying to spark a deeper conversation with Mike about these rumors and how they make him feel? If so, what does Karen believe Mike is hiding here? She obviously knows how special Will is to Mike and she might suspect that he is queer too. Maybe in the same way Will is...

Anyways, back to what Nancy said. So after Lucas teased Mike for crushing on El, Mike started to see El differently than before. He feels like he has to develop feelings for her because his friends are expecting it, so he starts to force his behavior to change around her. Instead of just showing basic kindness, there’s more of a tenderness in the way he treats her. He’s testing out Lucas’ theory! Once Nancy accuses Mike of liking El, Mike’s act of conformity gets pushed to its limit. He only tries kissing El after his conversation with Nancy. When El seemed like she was going to kiss him before, he wasn’t into it. Mike is trying to hide his lack of interest in girls by pushing himself towards the only girl that has shown interest in him because everyone is telling him that’s what he should do!

And here we are. What is this? This is just… weird. Why did they have this said about what’s supposed to be a romantic couple? This isn’t the first time either. The boys said she was Mike’s cousin earlier. I know there’s a trope where characters call each other friends before getting together, but this is just a whole other level. 

El expressing that she sees Mike like a brother right before they kiss is not a good sign! Mike says that his relationship with El is different, but starts to backtrack. “It’s different… or I guess it’s not.” Um? I don’t think Mike views his relationship with El as familial at all, of course not, but this tells me that he only really sees her as a friend. If he was actually attracted to her, why would he even imply this at all? This also shows how he’s letting other people change how he views his relationship with El. He’s trying to say that he likes her until she implies that they’re more like family, and then he changes his mind. Mike is easily swayed by other people’s opinions when it comes to relationships (at least in season one). 

So I believe Mike mixed up admiration for El with romantic feelings and this was heavily influenced by others pushing him to be with her. Since El is really the only girl he shows interest in in the show (which I’ll get more into in a bit), this points to him being gay! Mike wasn’t purposefully using El to hide being gay, I don’t think he was aware of his queerness yet, but he was conforming to the expectations placed on him. 

Now that we’ve established that Mike’s feelings for El were not genuine, let’s get into the other evidence of him being gay:

Boys only! This line feels like it has similar implications to Will’s “free of girls!” line. If Will wanting to be free of girls is a hint that he’s gay, then Mike’s “boys only!” serves the same purpose. The same goes for Will’s cluelessness about girls (Girls don’t play video games. Girls go to science camp?) Mike is clueless about girls the entirety of s3 and even agrees with the video game line Will said in s2. They’re clueless about girls because they’re gay. Of course, real teenage boys are often clueless about girls, but I’m thinking about this in the context of a TV show. What does this tell us about Mike? It could just be for relatability but I think there’s something deeper there.

And here are a few shots of Mike looking disgusted or angry at the thought of showing attraction to girls. The first scene is where Dustin tells Mike he is going to flirt with a bunch of girls. Why is Mike making that face? Flirting with girls confuses and disgusts him, apparently. The fourth scene is where Lucas tells Mike to talk to El with ominous music playing in the back. Why is scary music playing when Mike is thinking about talking to a girl? That’s kind of gay. 

Mike, like Will, showed no interest in winning over Princess Daphne while Dustin and Lucas fought over her. But Mike staying quiet doesn’t mean he’s disinterested, right? Nope! Princess Daphne foreshadowed Lucas and Dustin fighting over Max. Mike showed zero interest in Max. Even Will was (platonically) intrigued by her, but overall he was indifferent. Mike and Will have the same reaction to Max. They aren’t showing attraction to her, unlike Dustin and Lucas. Again, Mike and Will having similar reactions to girls points to their sexuality being the same. Mike’s reaction was actually more extreme compared to Will! He was trying to kick Max out!

"Awesome? You haven't even spoken a word to her." Funny coming from the person who claims to have fallen in love with a girl at first sight. But that's a topic for later.

Mike didn’t want Max to join the party because he didn’t like the idea of his friends moving on from their more nerdy interests to get girlfriends. They were ditching Halloween to impress Max. Mike’s behavior towards Max in s2 is the same as Will’s behavior towards El in s3. Will didn’t want to move on from DnD for girls! We know Will is gay, so what does this entail for Mike? If Will’s annoyance towards his friends hanging out with girls was a sign that he’s gay, then we can assume Mike’s annoyance in s2 was for the same reason. Obviously, both Mike and Will have multiple reasons for their behavior, but one of those reasons has to do with them being gay.

El tries to kiss Mike and, for a second time, he stands still. His eyes are wide and he almost looks scared? He’s not looking at her lips or showing any attraction towards her. Why is it that every time El tries to kiss Mike first, he’s like a deer in headlights? It’s almost like he needs to talk himself into kissing her and that’s why he doesn’t like when she does it first. Seems pretty gay to me!

I feel like Mike started to pick up on his feelings for Will here. They felt the spark for most of the season, but the Snow Ball is when it really clicked for Mike. He started mirroring the actions of his friends and family from s1 by pushing Will towards a girl. Everyone did it to him so Mike thought this is what he was supposed to do! So why does it feel so wrong? Mike starts putting the pieces together and he’s scared of what he’s feeling. He complained about his friends growing up and moving on to get girlfriends the entire season, but at least he had Will, right? Then this girl takes Will from him too and now Mike is left in the dust. He feels like he has to do the same so he runs into the safety net of El to try and push his newfound feelings for Will away and be normal.

This kickstarts Mike’s behavior in s3. He’s going after a girl to try and be normal so he can be safe! He’s scared to acknowledge his feelings. Why isn’t Will doing the same? Mike is scared for both himself and Will. Mike has heard what everyone thinks about Will, so why isn’t Will trying to prove them wrong? I feel like Mike’s outbursts at Will are not only because of his repressed feelings for him, but also because he’s confused why Will can be so loud about not caring about girls while Mike is trying everything he can to force himself to like girls. They’re supposed to be “growing up” and getting girlfriends, but Will doesn’t want that and neither does Mike. Mike is trying to conform so he doesn’t face the same fate that Will has faced his entire life. It gets so bad that Mike starts to contribute to the struggles Will faces for not wanting to conform.

The rain fight makes so much more sense in this context. Why was Mike so frustrated that Will didn’t like girls? He wanted Will to be conforming the same way he was because conformity is safe. Otherwise, Will was putting himself in danger. I’m not saying that Mike knows that Will is gay, but Mike has watched Will get bullied for exactly that so he expects Will to conform to avoid the bullying! Mike was advocating against getting girlfriends until Will seemingly got a girl at the dance, so when Will didn't even stay with that girl, Mike’s effort was for nothing. Mike thought he had no other choice but to force himself to like a girl and when Will shows that that’s not the case, Mike wishes that he could do the same. Mike takes his internal frustration out on Will because he wants Will to be safe instead of chasing after the things they both want but can’t have (playing games for the rest of their lives). 

And so we come to the conclusion that Mike was projecting onto Will during their fight. “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls!” Is Mike’s internal struggle being taken out on Will. “What did you think, really? We were never gonna get girlfriends?” And Mike thought exactly that in s2! He thought the party would stick together for a bit longer until Dustin and Lucas ditched them for girls. This tells us that Mike was projecting here because he had the same thought he’s accusing Will of. So if these lines are projections, that means that Mike doesn’t like girls. He has to be gay.

Let’s use that surprise tool I mentioned earlier! Nancy ditched her nerdy interests to get a boyfriend (Steve). That’s where Mike initially got it hammered in his head that growing up means getting a girlfriend and moving on from “childish” things. Nancy’s relationship with Steve is an act of conformity and we know this thanks to Barb who calls Nancy out on her behavior. Will is doing the same to Mike! The argument Nancy and Barb have (this isn’t you) is a small parallel to the rain fight. Mike is conforming because he has witnessed others do it and has been told to do so. He can be like his straight sister, right? 

Once again, we have El initiating a kiss with Mike standing completely still. That’s the third time this has happened! If Mike was just surprised, why didn’t he start to kiss back? Or at least close his eyes? He had plenty of time to react. When El leaves, he has a strange expression on his face. The way his eyes dart around show that he’s realizing something, a realization in front of the closet with a lightbulb over his head. Mike thought that if he kissed El enough times, romantic feelings would eventually develop and his feelings for boys would just go away. This moment in Will’s room is when Mike realizes that those feelings are not going away. 

If this realization was just about Mike figuring out he’s attracted to boys, why is it happening after kissing a girl? Why is he standing in front of a closet while kissing El? His realization is not about liking boys, it’s about not liking girls. If Mike was realizing that he likes both boys and girls here, it would have happened after his talk with Will, not his kiss with El. He feels the need to hide in the closet because his repression is not working.

The Hopper’s letter sequence supports this as well. Mike is shown during these lines:

 “I feel like you’re pulling away from me or something.”

“I don’t want things to change.”

“So, I think that’s maybe why I came in here, to try to stop that change. To make things go back to how they were.”

El isn’t the one pulling away from Mike. We just saw her tell him she loves him! This line is foreshadowing events between seasons. Will doesn’t try to call Mike and they don’t have any contact. Mike tries to call, Will is pulling away. How is Mike changing? Of course, things are changing because the Byers are moving, but I sense a double meaning here. These scenes parallel the night they found Will’s body at the quarry. Mike feels like he’s losing Will for a second time because things are changing. Mike’s feelings are changing.

And this leads us into s4. Mike still attempts to repress his feelings by staying with El and it’s getting easier since she’s across the country. He doesn’t have to face his feelings for Will when he can’t see him!

Now let’s talk about his room decor. He has a couple of buff men (well one is a dragon but still) and one woman. This may be an unpopular opinion, but I don’t necessarily think that room decor is always an indicator for sexuality. Nancy has posters of women in her room and as much as I love to hc her as sapphic, I think it’s more likely that she’s meant to be straight in the show. So, in my personal opinion, the woman on Mike’s poster isn’t hinting at his sexuality.

I do think the one way sign is important, though. I believe this serves a double meaning. It’s pointing at the closet, but it’s also hinting at Mike’s sexuality being one way. This sign points in the same direction as Mike’s triangle pocket that’s over his heart and always pointing at Will. Mike’s heart is not split between El and Will, it goes one direction. Will! A boy!

Speaking of split, let’s talk about this. This line is commonly used as bi evidence, but I don’t interpret it that way. I think this was more foreshadowing who Mike pays attention to throughout the day. Yellow is Will and purple is El! We see Mike noticing all the details about Will being upset, but he doesn’t even pick up on El looking uncomfortable when Angela shows up. He was focused on Will more than he was El! If this line was about sexuality, why didn’t they make it blue and pink (the usual colors for gender) instead of yellow and purple? This feels more person specific rather than an overall read on Mike’s sexuality. And this could just be a double meaning but again, this is my personal interpretation.

Also this line is in past tense. “I kinda did a 70/30 split.” If this is a double meaning for his sexuality, it’s in the past tense. He tried to do a split and it didn’t work because there’s too much yellow! His attraction to boys overshadows his (nonexistent) attraction to girls!

And now onto this load of bullshit. Mike lied. That’s pretty much a fact at this point. “I’m sorry I don’t say it more.” And he’s literally never said it to her face. “It’s not because I’m scared of you. I’ve never felt that way.” Lie. He was definitely scared of her a few times in s1 and possibly when she hit Angela in s4. But the most important lie here is that he fell in love with her at first sight. Hours after they met, he wanted to send her to a mental asylum so they could find Will. He only started to really care about her when he found out she was in danger and when she said she could help find Will. He called her a weapon and yelled “what’s wrong with you?” multiple times. That’s not love. If Mike ever had feelings for El, why would he feel the need to lie about when that happened? He could’ve said the Snow Ball or some other significant moment in their relationship (there are none), but he lied! He couldn’t name the actual moment he fell in love with her because it never happened. So if Mike never had feelings for El, that means he’s gay. Mike doesn’t show attraction to girls otherwise!

The climax of the monologue is the “you’re my superhero” line. Mike doesn’t even view calling someone a superhero as romantic. He calls his friends superheroes multiple times. Why the hell is that the climax when he doesn’t see it as romantic? And what kind of superhero? Every time Mike refers to El as a specific kind of hero, it’s a male hero. The X-Men and Superman. Other characters are perfectly capable of calling El “supergirl” or saying she’s like Wonder Woman. Why does Mike seem incapable of acknowledging his girlfriend’s femininity? Gay!

I didn’t really talk about how he shows attraction to boys because if you’re reading this, I assume you know that already. I’m just going to leave this here and it should be enough:

And with that, I’m going to wrap this up here. There’s more evidence I could address, but I wanted to focus on the evidence that’s most significant to me! Mike has not shown genuine attraction to girls and his relationship with El is a form of compulsory heterosexuality. Also, yes the show will confirm his sexuality in some way. Mike doesn’t exist just to be a love interest. His journey through queerness is just as important as the currently confirmed queer characters. I think they’ll confirm it in a similar way to Will and Robin where it’s not explicitly said, but still obvious. Michael Wheeler is gay!

[yuseirra]

Ch 160 ..let me jot down my stream of consciousness about what I feel, my reading comprehension skills can't be that bad, it'd help if I can sit down and think through a little more.

+ Okay, I'm complete! I understand things much better now!! Upon close examination, This chapter doesn't change anything so dramatically.

IT STILL DOES NOT ANSWER JUST WHAT THE DAD'S MOTIVES ARE, but... the conclusion I have after having reread it thoroughly??

It's that my interpretation of him as a mild guy still stands—it enhances it, even. He's still really kind, which is a pretty surprising conclusion compared to what I felt about it at first glance.

He's.. really kind and considerate. I'm serious. wow.

well, analysis/interpretation below!

I was spoiled about chapter way back sometime last Friday, right? and it was pretty accurate in sense, with it being just some bunch of sentences and that one really creepy panel.. it does help to see the actual art and the expressions that are associated with the dialogues.

Now that I sit down a bit, there are two different interpretations of the same story: Kamiki's testimonies on what's happened (I believe these are all truths. They perfectly match up with how I've interpreted his character all along.) and Aqua's takes on them.

I'm not reading things off the english version btw, so the dialogues may differ.

According to what Kamiki says,

-he considered Ryosuke and Nino as good people and as friends. But they approached him because they were obsessed with Ai, so he didn't know about their true colors.

-so he was able to talk about his breakup with her and talked about whether if he should visit her having children at the hospital where Gorou was. They went and killed Gorou, but Kamiki had no idea about that.

-on the day Ai died, he was still unsure about meeting her because he lacked the courage to see her face (god he's timid) so he asked Ryosuke to give her his bouquet on his behalf

I KEPT SAYING THIS GUY NEVER HAS IT IN HIM TO "SCARE AI!!!!!!!!!" HE LIED IN 154 OUT OF GUILT BECAUSE HE THOUGHT AI AND AQUA WANTED REVENGE ON HIM!!! SEE!!! I'VE BEEN!!! RIGHT!!!! I'VE BEEN!!!!!!!!!!

This was already in the leaks last Fri, I basically felt the same way about these back then

and I got every part of these right except for the part that Kamiki befriended them. I just couldn't picture the people who killed Ai or would actively go hunt their daughter down being his friend..

but seeing how.. much he seems to trust people, he used to be that way as a child, it actually all ties so nicely together.

I predicted that it was Nino and Ryosuke who went to the hospital and killed Gorou.

I predicted that Kamiki just wanted to send the bouquet to congratulate Ai but he couldn't go because he was nervous/sad from the phone call. I said that ever since I started drawing hikaai fanarts, you would have seen me going on and on about that, I drew them with this as the base!!!! The guy Ai chose wouldn't do such a thing as trying to get back at her!!! See??

I couldn't be more right!!! I am a prophet!! I should trust myself!!!! why am I so unsure of myself, really. I really, really did get everything right.

These must be all true. He's not lying about any of this. I've been analyzing this guy very very thoroughly so I know what I'm talking about.

I guess what's confused me was the latter bits, since Fri and even after I see the full images.

Kamiki smiles and says he never wanted to hurt anyone<this is really how I view him as well, this guy can't hurt people out of his own will...

However, Aqua dismisses Kamiki's statements as lies on the spot, and accuses him of having been unable to protect his own daughter. That he's been intentionally manipulated people to get what he wants. That would involve him causing people to kill each other without dirtying his hands.

Upon hearing Aqua stating "You wanted to kill your own daughter", Kamiki makes this really eerie smile (I kind of wish this is redrawn hshsh.. it looks like he's a demon spawn from hell, but this could REALLY be him being distressed yet AGAIN. this guy SMILES when he's that way. That's his coping mechanism. It's kind of hard to stare at that expression but that smile certainly ISN'T a happy one like the one we saw in 159. This is a really confusing habit he has. People are going to take him the wrong way but; sadly, it's become a habit of his...)

The scenes then shifts to visions of him manipulating nino and Ryosuke into doing what they've done with a smile. If this is really what's happened, then he IS someone pretty evil-

but now that I read it over I think that's just based on Aqua's interpretations about the guy.

Is what's being portrayed in those pages ACTUALLY how he is? Just yesterday, I theorized that Kamiki loves his children and has been doing whatever he's been doing for his children. I did have my reasons for making that claim.

We still don't know what his motives are!! Aqua doesn't state anything about why Kamiki would do such a thing if he's done so. Does he know anything about this??? Just what reason would make it.. enough to have someone kill the love of their life and their very daughter? What good would it do for Kamiki? For one thing, does he have ANY good reason to kill Ai at all? For having felt betrayed?? Then why wait out that long????? Killing their daughter? After having her live for, how long now? how old are they now? 15?? 16? Why now? Why would he??

The important thing would be just WHY he'd be doing all those things if he's really been so, so WHAT IS IT AQUA?? WHAT??

Forgot to mention this but in the beginning of the chapter, we have kamiki saying, Hm, but what did I do? Did I "stab someone?" did I "push someone off a cliff?" I never "did" "anything".

Then we have Nino going "Kamiki-san didn't do anything. He just talked about Ai. He talked about her so we(her and Ryosuke) wouldn't forget about her. That was enough to make us break."

OH come on. COME ON. HUH. I feel like he's never told them anything bad about Ai, he probably let out how much he loved and misses her, because he thought they were her fan and coworkers as a fellow member, I bet he was happy to befriend people who knew about Ai because they share a common interest together. With it being his favorite person in the world even while he was dumped.

What a stupid reason, Nino. You brought everything upon yourself. I can see that now.

I do think.. kamiki has some sort of power that causes people to grow insane or act out, that could have had some influence on ryosuke and nino in a way...

but again, why would he try to kill his lover and his daughter even if he can use it with his own accord??? Even if he's using those powers now?? Would he use it to do those respective things?

Even if he has those, that shouldn't be all there is to it. According to Kamiki, they were already obsessed with Ai when they approached him and YEAH! Makes sense?? They came to him first, probably already aware that he was Ai's lover?? He isn't responsible for them hoarding those kinds of feelings!!

Coming to think of it, I find it really strange that he still hung with nino being the complete wreck she is. Oh wait, I guess he still could. Ryosuke killed Ai and Nino doesn't seem to have played a part with that. Nino was there with Ryosuke when Gorou died but she's not the one who's pushed him off a cliff. Ryosuke's the really...horrible one. He had a pretty gf like nino JUST WHY. Then again, nino was obsessed w Ai too so they were a match. I guess Kamiki hanged with Nino thinking she's just another victim who wants Ai back or whatever. He still hangs with her when she says that are super creepy like she can't forgive Ruby if she surpasses Ai though.. Perhaps he's really bad at letting people go.. OH, YEAH. He was always pretty attached to people as a child. Okay, I got that part cleared up on my own. Stream of consciousness is like this. It can happen.

Continuing on!! Aqua says Kamiki is a "despicable, selfish liar, worse than a murderer". Even Kamiki can't smile hearing that. If he ISN'T one, then that'd hurt.

Well, he responds again, saying:

"Ah, yes. You're the same way as I am. You share those same eyes I have. The type of eyes that grant the power to persuade others into believing you. The eyes that grant you charisma, befitting that of a star." Then we see a panel with Ai, "The eyes of liars, that fool, and make others submit to you"

he must be thinking of what Ai's told him when she talked to him about having the same eyes. (CH 140)

"You've been inciting people just like I have, right? Just how many people did you fool to fulfill your goal?"

"It must have felt good to use your talents to impact the lives of others, right?"

I'm not sure if this is a taunt/mockery or just him stating the facts as a liar/a black star user himself.

If he's thinking about Ai... then it can be the latter. She approached him saying "they are the same". He could be thinking about that.

Actually, he's strangely calm. His emotions are a bit hard to read on this one, I'd say it actually feels collected compared to what he's heard.

This could actually be sympathy or empathy...

I didn't take it that way when I first encountered it, so I felt.. Kamiki could be lashing out a bit but no. That doesn't seem to be it.

Hey, he really never gets angry. He actually looks a bit sad depending on how you look at it, I think he may be feeling a sense of guilt in that particular panel where he says "Just how many people did you fool to fulfill your goal?", the one where he glances down,

just like how he talked to Aqua in 152, "It's a lie, isn't it? it's because they're important that you keep your distance from them. why would you go that far to bottle yourself up?"

This guy understands his son really well. In fact, I think he may be trying to say, "we're the same=I understand the way you are, we're on the same track" the way Ai's done for him. That's what was his salvation.

Aqua does not take this well.

He says yeah, we're both terrible beings, but Ruby is "different".

Oh, and the rest.. what's stood out to me is the panel where Aqua goes,

"sending love to the one who desires for love" as he describes what Ruby is doing. Kamiki shows up in that panel.. This is what Ai wanted to do for him.

and there's a panel that comes up that shows Ai with the twins that follows right after saying:

"it's the eyes of the one who desires to love someone"

This is really sad. I think that page actually indicates Ai desired to love him while he desired to be loved from Ai. That happened both ways. It was a nice page.

Yeah, and Aqua points his knife to his dad like a toy gun saying

"You must disappear right here and now, for Ruby's sake."

I don't think Aqua's actually up to stabbing him, actually? If he's pointing the knife at him like that, I think it's more like he's warning him to stay out of their way forever, scram, or just go die off on his own.

Both of his eyes are white, he's not going to kill him with his own hands, rather, he's going to make him go away.

So I don't think next chapter would start on a fierce note? Kamiki does not seem like a guy that gets agitated so easily. He STILL never once got angry in this chapter as well. He's still pretty sweet to his son. I'm not being biased on this, the way he talks has always been really soft. If this were to be an anime, you'd hear how he'd talk and see whether if he has thorns in them but I don't think it's that way at least, I think he's trying to be understanding??

This guy is soft. He will not put up a fight. I don't know, he may jump off that bridge and try to die maybe. If that's what his son wants? Move out of the way? He doesn't seem.. angry about it all. He's not even protesting.

In the end, the only thing that got proven in this chapter was that Kamiki DID NOT DO ANYTHING IN A PHYSICAL SENSE, AND HE DIDN'T TRY TO SCARE AI.

the fact about him manipulating people and lying to get his way, I think there's low chance of it being applied for Ruby and Ai's case.

I think he really didn't have a clue Nino would attack Ruby? If he's considered her as a friend?

what are the basis of Aqua picturing him that way? He must really hate his dad. There is no way he could have seen such things happen. Unless Tsukuyomi told him about it?? there is no proof that it's what's actually been taken place. Kamiki could have incited people, or influenced others, yeah, but I don't think he did anything to Ai or his daughter. Again, I think he loves his family. Why wouldn't he??

Until things get cleared up more, I???? I ACTUALLY?? think Kamiki's taking it in a really calm manner despite all the things he's being accused of??

This is very long, but that is all for now!!

Oh, this was worth revisiting and analyzing. There's a lot more I see when I scrutinize it like this!!

[ca-suffit]

i agree when it comes to female characters whatever their origins, I think the showrunners did the best they could. I did find weird that anne rice never wrote any queer female characters, it's all subtext. the books are really filled with sexism and while anne rice wrote the mayfair's witches, with a main female characters it's still full of incestuous rape and I couldn't believe amc took the decision to make an adaptation of those books. Just the whole stuff with 13 years old mona mayfair... I really never understand why anne rice wasn't comfortable with her female characters. anyway we could still have merrick in iwtv. they could change some elements of her plot.

tw csa

Anne Rice included a lot of themes that are popular and common still in modern stories and ppl tend to not understand the main difference of why ppl take offense to Anne's writing and not others. Case in point, this thread I responded to the other day on twt:

Here is the source (from her official website) for what OwlsGoldberg was referencing (thnx to them for sharing this link in the thread too) "O.K. I just read a book I recommend. It's called THE DEADLY FEAST by Richard Rhodes. The book centers around a man named Carleton Gajdusek. Carleton Gajdusek is a Nobel Prize winner and he's in prison--apparently for fondling a 14 year old in a shower. I have not seen the court record and I'm not in any way qualified to judge what goes on. All I want to say is that I highly recommend that you get the book. That the contribution of Carleton Gajdusek to medicine and to science has been fantastic and that I personally am looking into the whole question of child molestation, children's rights, because it concerns me. I remember being a young adult, and I remember being real angry that I wasn't allowed to do things that other adults were doing. I was working full time and I was living in a rooming house and I didn't like being classified as a teenager, because somebody wanted to sell me something expensive. I know I sound angry--I am. I am angry. But we've got to revise our concept of teenagers in this country. If we want to stop the crime in this country we've just got to realize that 14 and 15 year old people are adults, they are not children. And leading them to believe that there is a fundamental difference between play killing and real killing."

That's not even all of it for that twt thread, but u get the point. Nobody can ever criticize anything with Anne Rice without ppl saying it's just misogyny or ....whatever that accusation of queerphobia for a cast member is about (there was no clarification who that's referencing but I'm guessing it's Sam Reid bcuz this fandom rides hard for white queerness in him / Lestat at any chance, especially in order to silence other issues). It's always easy for these ppl to erase everything about anything else except "victimization" of a rich white woman. This only happens within the fandom too, as most ppl outside it don't respect Anne Rice at all for her behavior or writing....and that's without even knowing the depths of this kind of stuff. U couldn't pull this crap on any person on the street, they'd rightfully think ur terminally online and fucking weird.

Anyway, back to the point about themes. Anne Rice had repetitive themes that ppl will argue are for "the genre." The thing is tho....it has to still serve a purpose to the story to be any good. Most of the time (at least for my knowledge of TVC books), there isn't a reason to have these things present. She simply has a fixation on them and a lot of them are things that hurt women just for the sake of doing it. The reader is also uncomfortably made to feel like this is all supposed to be ok too, which is the main issue ppl have. It's not critical or intentionally envoking horror and dread....it's just saying "this is what being a girl/woman is" and giving the message to love ur abuser (most often a very old white man in TVC), which many survivors of a lot of things find triggering af.

Mentioning Merrick too, that's a character I rly liked and yet was wasted all over. The book with her name is narrated by David Talbot, this elderly, white, British pedophile, and we spend more time hearing his gross thoughts about her as a child and other similar shit in his life (always with underage poc) instead of spending time with her in her own head as an adult. Or Louis, for that matter, who is also more who the book is about than David, yet Davis is our narrator.

There's a lot more I could write but I'd never stop tbh. It's clear to most everyone who isn't finding excuses that Anne Rice just wasn't a good writer and had so many issues with misogyny and a lot of other things. I've never seen any other author excused so much from criticism, especially one who was so obviously known in life as being a rly unlikeable person, particularly to her own fanbase. If it weren't for other ppl, there wouldn't even be a fandom for her work. She v much almost destroyed it by herself.....but she's dead now, so ppl have been quick to start rewriting history and accusing others of anything they can think of to avoid criticism. Just like she always did.

[midnightsun-if]

Sorry if this sounds rude, but I have some things I need to get off my chest. Frankly, the whole Scarlett situation kind of sucks, and the way you’re handling things is not exactly helping matters. I get you have a specific vision for her character, and as a fellow author I would never suggest you compromise that to appease a bunch of sexist, entitled fans, but you’ve given so much attention to her character that it honestly comes as no surprise that people wouldn’t respect her sexuality, as bad as that is to say.

I’ve personally sent numerous asks in the past, and you haven’t answered a single one, so either you’re intentionally ignoring them, or tumblr ate them. If it’s the later, then I’m sorry for accusing you. You’re obviously not under any obligation to answer asks you don’t want to, but I admit it does sting a bit to see Scarlet Ask #523759690 on my feed when I have yet to see a single one of mine. You may not think you have a favorite character, but from an outside perspective, you 100% do.

The amount of attention Scarlett receives compared to the rest of the cast (seriously, when was the last time Caden got an ask dedicated to them?) is truly astounding. Fans will naturally have their favorites, but as an author you should remain impartial… which you really haven’t. In fact, it seems like you actively encourage the Scarlett attention. It’s like you keep showing off a fancy car that only a few people can actually buy, then get upset when people complain they can’t buy the car as well.

Anyways, I’m sorry for this rant, but I’ve been thinking about this for a while now. I wish you luck on your writing journey, and hope you have a happy holiday (if you’re in a country that celebrates any upcoming holidays)!

I truly don’t know what to say other than the fact that I haven’t seen your asks and that I’m trying to avoid Scarlett asks when it specifically involves the discourse with her sexuality— which also may contribute to the possibility on why I haven’t seen them, if that’s what they involved— as I mentioned in my one-and-done post about it… I don’t want to keep this as a reoccurring theme on the blog as I know that many people will grow tired of it just like I have.

I answer Scarlett centric asks, barring when I answer scenario asks about the family and/or the ROs, mainly due to the fact that she’s the one people single out— if someone sends me an ask about C, or Blake, or anyone else, I’ll answer it… It just happens to be that Scarlett gets the most asks when it comes to that sort of thing— and those asks are typically much easier/faster to answer than the all-in-one asks— I’d be more than happy to answer singular asks about any number of my characters. And I have in the past when someone sends something in.

All I can truly say? If not being able to romance Scarlett is this big of an issue, and I truly am saying this as nicely as I can… I don’t think Midnight Sun is the right IF for you. I believe I know a couple more IFs with an Ice Queen type RO, or adjacent RO, that may suit you better if you’d like to me share them!

And, I’d just like to make this small point, I get upset, or am starting to, because it’s a point I’ve brought up over and over again— Scarlett isn’t a lesbian to create an inconvenience for the player… She’s a lesbian because it’s part of who she is. Sending me asks saying “I can change her” or “Give us Scarlett and the F!MCs Koda” (among other things) is absolutely abhorrent in the best case scenario. There are 7 other ROs for you to choose from— all of which offer their own unique routes and experiences within Midnight Sun.

Scarlett isn’t changing, I’m standing firm with this. I’m not going to ever change my mind about it— I’m sorry if that upsets anyone, but it’s not something I’m backing down on.

[eva-cybele]

emotion word barf under the cut

sometimes I think about the very messy friend falling out I had last year and it still makes me so angry. april-october of last year were so hard -- my son got diagnosed with autism, his behavior continued to escalate to the point he was getting suspended all the time (in FIRST GRADE), so I was spending every single day on edge on whether I'd have to go get him and if he'd hurt someone else's child. my mother-in-law got fucking cancer. and then right in the middle of that, my brother-in-law came out as trans to his exceedingly religious family, and all of that placed my already stressed out (because of, you know, his son being autistic and his mom having cancer) husband directly in the middle of mediating everything. all of my energy was going towards all of that -- I didn't have anything left for anyone else.

and when I have a friend who needs CONSTANT reassurance, CONSTANT advice that she NEVER fucking takes -- yes, I am going to pull back when I don't have the goddamn spoons to deal with it. but instead of being like "hey are we good?" or better yet, assuming that I'm NOT an asshole, she spends literally six months compiling a google document of all the ways I hurt her, talking to every single one of my other friends about how she feels like I'm excluding her, and being completely passive-aggressive to me everytime I talk to her. so yes, I pulled back more.

and if once, ONCE, in that entire span of time, she had ever bothered to ask me how I was, or talk to me about her problems with me, I could have said "hey it's not you, I've just got a lot of shit going on right now" and the whole thing could have been avoided. but she didn't. she accused me of not caring about her, but she sure as fuck didn't care about me enough. she got so angry that I didn't include her enough in lore/story stuff in xiv when she didn't invite me to be part of her OC's lore, either. all the onus was on me, to comfort, to inquire about her problems, to be emotionally available when she was a depressed sad sack about things she refused to change about her life. and I gave her that, for months, for as long as I could. but she couldn't give me the benefit of the doubt that I wasn't intentionally abandoning her, or the decency to tell me she had a problem instead of sulking. even at the end, she was trying to upset me to make me bring it up, because she was too scared to. aka STILL making me do her goddamn emotional labor.

she put the shitty capstone on some of the hardest months of my life, and I don't know if I'll ever get over that.

[hcfiles]

Big? No. Huge! Ok. People here are claiming my sentences are long and that I don't give space. Apparently, reading is not a habit around here. So, I'll try to give space and write shorter sentences. Sorry, if this will end up giving the idea sentences are being repetitive.

After a last post of the naked belly, they apparently got tired of gaslighting - Did they? - To be honest, that picture was weird and didn't convince. But, I'm not denying she could be pregnant. It's possible. I just don't believe he is the father.

He is a single immature bachelor who doesn't like commitments. He has weird habits most women wouldn't support. He apparently, has a certain reserve towards women. And, he seems to feel much more comfortable in the presence of men. He is addicted to gaming. These men, usually have difficulty keeping a healthy relationship. They prefer hours in front of a computer to having a conversation with a partner. Because real life is boring for them.

I also think making her show with that belly in NY (first belly appearance) was his idea. She was obviously, against it at first. But, as soon as she saw the paps outside and some known faces giving her support, she immediately changed her mind. That's why I'm more inclined to think she's not pregnant. The bigger boobs (she already had before the belly) could be implants.

If he is against her, that's not what he shows. On the contrary. He seems very comfortable (as he can be) in her presence playing the clown of a circus. And he even has fun, laughing NOT AT her, but WITH her, at fans and followers. He has fun with the idea he's gaslighting people (strange for a guy who complained about being bullied in school).

This PR stunt was never about her. It was about promoting his manhood, giving an unknown a chance to make a living in the red carpet. Otherwise, after so many years, she would have been in talk shows, giving interviews and called to be in some movie or series. This was about him, about selling the straight womanizer persona.

It, later, became about her with a disastrous damage control, as a response to negative publicity. She became an unsympathetic diversion (her idea, proposed at FL coffee shop) to, intentionally, tease fans, so they could be accused of being accountable, aggressive, haters, toxic. And he agreed to it. He was never responsible.

He didn't feel miserable because of her (Of course she was irresponsible, not cleaning her IG before the plot). He felt miserable, for being severely criticized by his own fandom. He felt miserable for his own stupidity and for agreeing with his Godsent idea in pranking his fandom. It all happened not because the fandom is jealous - 'cause there's nothing to be jealous of. It happened, because of his weakness, of his vanity and thirst for the spotlight.

He continued with it, because this was her proposal at FL coffee shop, which he agreed to. He continued with it to show his support for the woman with a very questionable reputation. She was being rejected and exposed to public execration, because of him. For he's a gent, right? Apparently, he felt responsible. But, she could handle it. She's apparently used to promiscuity.

A person like that, can always handle anything. And, based on what we've seen, she didn't care a bit for the exposure she was having. She loved it. She was so OK with it, she didn't even care for what her existence and reputation caused in his life. For she was having the attention she wanted.

The contradiction is first, to have him accept this kind of stuff. Secondly, he felt so in debt with her, but didn't feel responsible for all the negative publicity nor the reactions he caused. Instead, he pointed fingers and accused people of reacting to the narcissistic PR stunt his team managed. These narcissistic strategies were intentional to make him the victim and the fandom, the enemy, while using a promiscuous who liked the attention, as a diversion. This way, they could have who to blame and avoid accountability.

This was definitely the worst management in Hollywood! A shenanigan! It was a perfect example of an actor's self destruction with the help of his amateur manager, team and a lurker. Never seen an actor consciously expose himself to ridicule, while discrediting himself for not having the guts to fight for his integrity.

It can be forgiven, but never forgotten. Now, he is no longer able to sustain the persona he created. He doesn't even practice what he preaches. One of the most pathetic scripted speeches he made recently was about accountability. When, in practice,:

- he runs from reporters "following the lead" that put him into this mess,

- he hides in a shell avoiding unnecessary appearances, probably ashamed,

- he only shows for professional and merchandizing purposes,

- he blames his fans for his mistakes and amateur disastrous strategies his team adopts and

- he acts as if he and his team had different ways of seeing things. But, both are very aligned.

He's not actually aligned with his old persona nor speeches. His words are empty and scripted and his persona is no longer convincing. He became a joke, because of his management and a gold digger. It's pitiful to see what he was reduced to. He had it all. He went from:

- a gorgeous A-lister (as he was classified) with potential,

- respected and admired by his fandom,

- who was always seen as a dignified and respectful actor,

- to an actor who prioritizes escorting, who accepts immoral plots to sell his image, disrespects his fandom by gaslighting and teasing them to exhaustion with a circus, so he can, as a clown, run from the responsibility.

My guess? He has a lifetime-clause contract with his manager, in which he accepts certain conditions in exchange for fame and money. And, he can't deny fulfilling it, because he didn't feel the need to include a counter-clause, giving him autonomy to decide. I suppose the lifetime condition of this contract is to promote products and people.

They probably convinced him that it would be the best way for him to succeed as an actor. He put himself available as a promoter, a salesman, an escort, a coach. And part of the money he gains from those, goes to his manager.

He could have preferred to invest in his acting career, rather than only in his looks. And, he could have said No to this dirty service called escorting. Many actors do. But, he chose the easy spotlight and to trust and make deals with the Devil.

[titekuboisgross]

My theory on why IR didn’t happen…

I used to be an active IchiRuki fan. I no longer am. I did have a dream about tumblr the other day tho and when I was on here that’s 90% of what I posted about. After the manga ended I ended up deleting my account. I was not only done with Bleach but anime in general. I have not watched or read Bleach since it ended. Which is nearly a decade. So my arguments won’t be as solid as they used to be when I could literally recite that series like a souther Baptist preacher can recite the Bible lol. But while I’m here (as I just made a temporary account to look at things for nostalgia’s sake) I have decided I want to post my ultimate theory as why IchiRuki didn’t happen.

So, first and foremost I want to mention I am not liberal, why do I mention my politics? Because I am about to say some things that I’m sure I’ll get attacked for by people claiming I’m just a crazy liberal. But I am actually a moderate that leans conservative, a rare thing for tumblr I know. I don’t make accusations of sexism lightly. I don’t just willy nilly call people sexist because I don’t like them. But I do think some people are sexist. Sexism is real and it’s a prevalent problem in Japan. And I think Kubo may be a misogynist.

And before you start rage typing at your keyboards please hear me out. This isn’t my theory, it’s actually my brothers who is even more on the conservative spectrum than I am. He REALLY doesn’t make claims like this lightly, but I really think he’s onto something. He said basically he believes if Kubo is telling the truth that he never intended on IchiRuki and always planned Ichihime that it’s likely because he’s sexist. Rukia is Ichigos equal, she’s smart, strong, and she stands up to Ichigo and tells him off when he needs to be told off. Orihime is I’m sorry Orihime fans, but she’s dumb, ditsy, airheaded, and most importantly submissive.

In Japan traditionally submissive women were looked upon as ideal. Obviously I know that things have changed with modern times and it’s gotten a lot better. But echos of Japans former sexist past still is present within their modern society. As are echos of our former sexist past. As a student of anthropology I can tell you women are just f**ked in most societies. While the “tiger mom” stereotype is very real do not let that fool you. The ideal TRADITIONAL wife in Japan is still very much one who is submissive to her husband. This is why Rukia could never be Ichigos lover. She was not submissive enough.

Anyway, this is my brothers theory and I think he may be onto something. I used to think, we ALL used to think Kubo was foreshadowing IchiRuki, but maybe he wasn’t? Maybe he really is just that much of a talentless hack. I mean was any of Bleach even any good besides the first two arcs? After the Soul Society arc that entire franchise became a shitshow. And IchiRuki wasn’t the only thing he foreshadowed that never amounted to anything. See this is what I mean where my arguments won’t be as strong because I haven’t read the series in years, but I know y’all know what I mean. There’s a tone of shit in Bleach that he introduced that never got brought up again. So much lore that was never developed and in the rare cases when it was it never made any sense. So maybe he is just talentless.

I used to think he intentionally gave Bleach a shit ending because he was fired. If you remember Naruto ended a year prior and Shonen Jump used the popular Naruto pairings kids to make a sequel series to milk the franchise. I always wondered if Kubo knew no one gave a shit about IchiHime and that it would be impossible to make a sequel with IchiHime kids. So he sacrificed his series so his enemies couldn’t prosper off it. That’s what I used to think he did. But I’ve since changed my mind. I was giving that man FAR too much credit. I don’t think he’s that clever to think to do that. I think he’s kinda stupid tbh. Sorry but I do. Anyway. This is all I’m posting. I again just made this account because I wanted to say hi to an old mutual I was shocked to see was still around. You can reply but I’m not gonna debate y’all like I used to. I’m over that shit now. My opinion stands and you can’t change it. Like it or hate it it’s my opinion and I’m entitled to it. If you’ve gotten this far and read all my post I hope you have a lovely day!

Edit: I forgot to add that before you say “well Kubo can’t be sexist because he creates strong female characters” THINK AGAIN! I love Quintin Tarantino but the man has said very misogynistic things in the past including that he thought a minor girl could consent. And he literally created the most badass female characters of all time. Some of my favorite female characters. Beatrix Kiddo and O-Ren-Ishi. Yes men who create strong female characters can be sexist. Never underestimate a man’s ability to demean a woman smfh

Anyway I am serious this is just a throwaway account I made so this is my only post so it’s also my goodbye post so,

[sketching-shark]

It is wild to me that Monkie Kid is like… “Sun Wukong, you goofed around during a serious ceremony and fucked up the Samadhi Fire ritual. 🖕🖕🖕 for a thousand years. Find the nearest lake and drown yourself. We are going to beat you verbally and in at least one instance physically over the head with it.”

And then turns around and says “Macaque, you intentionally released the Samadhi Fire in a bid to spare your own life, by holding a young lady hostage and threatening to murder her violently. It’s time to give you an olive branch, upon which no one will care about your violent, cruel, and spiteful misdeeds ever again.”

“Anyways, time to scream at Sun Wukong again.”

tbh anon I'm not sure if a guy who's general thoughts about JTTW retellings are usually along the lines of "there should be more body horror in this" would the best to comment on a silly goofy lego show, but here's me whining about a cartoon under the cut so as usual avert thine eyes if you don't want to read all of that lol

ha. yeaugh. full disclosure anon especially because maybe things have changed, and I'm in full realization that I'm probably blowing things out of proportion, but I did not see the most recent season because at this point Monkie Kid just makes me feel sad. Basically I went from being excited for the adventures to hoping Sun Wukong would get to be at least quasi-competent to just feeling depressed that all MK really seems to have gotten from being SWK's tudi at the end of the day is one horrific trauma after another all while the monkey king himself stumbles around with good intentions but in practice usually making everything 1000x worse than it had to be.

Like yea of course we can talk about the actions of the obvious villains, but there is this pretty awful connection between all of them from the Demon Bull King to the Lady Bone Demon to the Azure Lion that they only were as successful in committing their horrors as they were specifically because of things that the Monkey King did or failed to do. (In particular its kind of wild that the Azure Lion got stuck by Sun Wukong in a torture scroll for like 1000 years before his body and soul were obliterated like god damn it would have been kinder to just kill him the first time around. This lego show sure is good at making literal former warlord og classic Monkey King look good in comparison asfgrefaw).

And sure, you could say that that's all part of this overall lesson that it's bad and self-defeating to think you can tackle all of the world's problems on your own, but it's been clear for awhile now that when it comes time to yell at someone on team good guy it's primarily SWK who gets any flak for his actions. All while he never gets to say anything to defend himself, because there is no defending anything he did. And a lot of these writing choices seems to be to frame Macaque as a monkey who, by direct contrast, never did anything problematic, or at least nothing so terrible it's worth dwelling on. Sure, he repeatedly beat the living hell out of MK and threatened Mei's life, but it's obvious that as far as the plot is concerned none of that matters at all. And when Macaque blamed SWK for everything that went wrong between them, called him a terrible teacher, said he was a lazy jerk who only ever makes things go from bad to worse, well gosh darn if the show didn't go out of its way to confirm all of these accusations. So while the end result is the obvious fandom and canon meow-meow Macaque being fully exonerated and a firm member of team good guy, it also means that it's difficult to understand why any one of them would even want to be around SWK at all at this point, given the extent to which he badly hurt them all and helped to put the entire universe in danger repeatedly.

tbh, at this point it's kind of hard NOT to feel like every member of team monkie, especially MK himself, would be a lot better off if SWK had just left them alone.

:(

[impregnateyou]

Sometimes I'm glad every single thing is blocked and not accessible. I still think sometimes and have days n stuff. But there litterally nothing for me to see anywhere and check. Everything's blocked, and all your secret accounts I never knew. I can't look them up. I know you had a new tumblr, but never got the name. And at some point I realised you had a secret tik tok too. Since your actual one seemed to be gone gone, since my other account couldn't find it. I'm like huh, interesting. Since it was while i was still there. Always found it odd that sometimes you'll get rid of me on everything. But other times you intentionally leave me on it so I can see. Wish i knew the motive behind it. Guess I'll never know.

But yea, I suppose it's a good thing there's nothing. Since if there was, at the start, I'd of been obsessively checking constantly. Haven't been able to do that, so I've been pretty lowkey and forgetful. Except for some moments obviously when I remember. I wonder what its like for you. Since I know within a week, or 2 ??? Cant remember, was so long now. Something happened with someone. I mean I knew it would.

But yet, I still haven't. I can't even be bothered. I don't even go back on apps. Which is why I never understood how quick you were to. Even during before it was even over. Which is ironic since i was the one getting accused :/

Because really, even the idea of giving someone my time seems exaughsting. Like I got too much to do, i just wanna relax and not have to do anything on my days off. Like, even with her, that you were so adamant about. Nope, I don't feel it. I like my space and time myself too much. All I do is work and get tattooed on my days off at this point haha. My arm is 1 more session away till being full now lol. Everything is coloured + more :)

But even now I still hope things are fine for you, I assumed they would be, since every single wrong thing in your life was my fault, right? I'm gone, so realistically everything went your way and you got back on track. I hope so. Things should be good for both. It mostly is for me, so i think it would be for you too, i hope. I don't even smoke any more, that same night I stopped. I hope you don't smoke now too. (Well if we minus the drinking smokes lol) but that's a normal for me. I haven't sober smoked since.

And tiny baby girl, I hope she's okay too, I miss her, she's the most precious. As always.

Still haven't had the effort to change screensaver. I will tho, eventually lol

┐ ( ‘ ～ ` ; ) ┌

[jesvshotsaucechristmascake]

ㅤHe actually laughed when she told him it was always worth it because yeah, he could understand and relate, though he also got the distinct impression that their lives were very, very different, for both better and worse. "Yeah, except you're not going home tonight with Senator Munroe. She's real nice until she's real stressed about her public image when her media perfect son - that'd be me - comes home from a fun trip to the mountains looking like I walked out of a war zone. Kinda puts a damper on her sense of humor," he offered, and she was right to think that he didn't necessarily want to talk about any of it, not the way that everyone in the party behind them wanted to. She seemed like someone who might understand how done he was with all of the bullshit and media circus surrounding it, though. That, or maybe she'd laugh in his face and tell him to stop being a baby about it. Who knew?

ㅤThe fact of the matter was that they didn't know each other well. They'd been in school together for a bit, interacted some and maybe done a project together? Either way, he knew her but he didn't know her. Seeing her working at these awful parties had seemed almost like a secret little tie to something outside of the 'show' being put on by everyone at them. He'd make little asides where only she could hear, crack jokes quietly or even just glance her way when he heard something that he was almost certain anyone with a foot over the threshold of actual reality might have an opinion to give her a look like he was staring into some camera that she was behind, observing them all. It had never gone anywhere and maybe he never thought it would - or maybe it had been going right here the whole time.

ㅤ"Hey, they weren't awful jokes, I caught you almost smiling a few times," he accused, though he was also threatening a smile despite the faux insult. Her almost-compliment had done its job, though, hadn't it? Saying she was missing them confirmed what he'd hoped with the little signs of humor from her over time, that he wasn't annoying her and she wasn't going in back complaining about this rich asshole dude. He hoped.

ㅤWeirdly, he hoped more now than ever, and wasn't that a weird thing to realize? Before that damn mountain, he'd liked being liked, liked the attention and got along with basically everyone, but it was all so superficial. He'd known it then, too, and he'd been okay with it. Being near-universally liked was one of his mom's political tricks, but she played it so much more intentionally than he did. He was just chill, easy to hang out with and generally nice to everyone, charismatic, but also not really one to make too many waves. He could talk his way into and out of trouble, talk other people into and out of things rather than fighting about it, and he understood the value of diffusing situations better than most people his age, especially guys. None of that had necessarily changed, but somehow all of this just felt exhausting, unimportant, and maybe he'd learned the value of hitting something head-on instead of talking around it. He sure as hell wanted to tell some of these people where to shove it when they asked him stupid shit or tried to trap him into saying something he didn't want to tell them. It was like constant conversational booby-traps. "Pretty sure most of my jokes would be a little too morbid right about now for the crowd in there, so guess I've been playing it safe. Can't risk one of them thinking I'm serious about jumping off a balcony, you know."

"Always satisfying to keep 'em on their toes." Molly agreed, her tone almost indifferent. She might've appeared that way altogether, were it not for the mischievous glint in her eye. "And trust me," She murmured, leaning in conspiratorially, "It's always worth it." There's a quirk to her lips as she leaned back away again, bringing the smoldering dart for another drag.

Whether she thought he was just being hyperbolic about the jump or not would remain up in the air. Molly knows that people tend to err on the side of humor when they're faced with the opportunity, maybe to make the other person more comfortable. Fact of the matter was this: if he wanted to discuss things, she wouldn't stop him, but something told her it wasn't where his heart was at at the moment. Curiosity was one thing (and make no mistake she was curious), what those people inside were doing was parasitic.

She and Mike weren't close. Hell, Molly isn't sure they've even really spoken more than a handful of words together over the last few years, but she knew enough of what a person who happened to be on their last few threads looked like. Maybe back then, she'd have absolutely reveled in someone with his background being dragged down a few pegs, but...faced with it, she couldn't bring herself to feel anything more heated than sympathy.

"Got me missing those awful jokes you tell in there." She murmured after a moment. It's an invitation, to keep the conversation going...to open more, if he wants. But she'd understand if he told her to fuck off readily enough, too.

[hoodoobarbie]

The mythology of the Siren, Mermaid, Water Spirits & Mami Wata and it’s origins within black feminity.

Today I had to listen to other another black woman rant about how mermaids/sirens/mami wata are evil low key. So this educational post was born in response. 

Did you really think the divine essence of the black feminine wouldn’t protect itself ? That energy exists for a reason.  Suddenly it’s evil, to have teeth and protect yourself from predators. Water is a precious resource. You will be tested to see if you are deserving of it or not. Also these spirits will defend natural resources so they don’t get fucked up by human greed. 

It’s common for some places in Africa for people to offer the Sirens/Mami Wata/Water spirits or make an offerings/contracts with them in order to use the resources on their land. It also keeps the white ppl away too because they cause so much trouble.

Sirens are also associated with being the killers of children and men, but often this is completely misrepresented intentionally.

Men fear the power of the siren because she can override the patriarchy at core and can completely unravel them. The orgins of many water spirits lie in matriachal societies, temples divine feminine and motherhood. This is why temples and sacred magikal knowledge was intentionally destroyed and stolen, especially to empower the white patriarch.

Sirens are also described as thiefs of children and child killers. Sirens have been known to kidnap kids who were being abused or have were murdered near water and take them to their kingdom to restore them.

Sometimes the child returns, sometimes they are not. However in general they are big on kidnapping people, mostly women and giving them powers, if they decide to return. The idea of them eating and killing children, was a lie perpetuated by Greeks to cover up some truly horrific acts. Unfortunate these false accusations have been allowed to continue to perpetuate.

If a siren is acting in a predatory way, there is a reason why as their energy as been disturbed. Sirens are natural guardians. 

So the real question is . . . what did you do ? Did you destroy their habitat ? Abuse a child or a person ? Commit an egregious act against a woman ie rape/murder etc ? Disrespect a sacred place, the land, the seas or rivers ? Steal precious resources that weren’t yours to take ?

These sacred traditions are more than just deities, spirits and our ancestors. All forms of ATR are access to our spiritual mind state as an entire community. When you move in Vodou, you can sense the whole of black consciousness and all of our problem spots, specifically  areas that need healing. 

Oxum-Oshun, Olokun, Yemaya, the Mami Wata, La Baliene, La Siren, Met Agwe, The Simbi - these are all spirits with a connection to waters. Water is life and has always been inherently associated feminine energy. I’m not going into detail about all these cross connections but let’s chat about La Sirene, specifically.

La Sirene, Queen of all Mermaids is more than just a powerful sorceress and queen of song/music and dreams, she is also a keeper of secrets an a guardian of sacred memories & knowledge.

Many of the souls of slaves, from the Transatlantic slave trade that were thrown off the boats into the ocean are her children, citizens and warriors now. She comforts them eternally & they live in paradise. That doesn’t mean all of these souls are at rest, plenty continuously ask their mother if they will be avenged, especially the young children. She also has a close connection with the Indigenous Taino. The isle of Hispaniola also known as Haiti (Ayiti) & the Dominican Republic is her most known domain. 

Let’s not act like slavery and colonization was a cake walk. Rape was common place and mermaids, water spirits offered African and Indigenous women protection and power over men. They became demonized overtime for their hypnotic powers and killing men, who often overstepped their boundaries. Women could leave offerings to these spirits, work or commune with them and be quickly avenged or gain great power and wealth. All of this was threatening to the white patriarchal standard.

La Sirene’s presence in Haiti and other merfolk tales that float around the Caribbean/West Indies, is not without purpose. She has ties to many people and many different cultures. Her sacred symbols are global. This is why I speculate she is much older than people think. La Sirene, is a fairly young evolution. She clearly has ties to much older things. Her older names might have been lost but she has evolved, to save her self and also document other forgotten elements of history in the process. There are those who speculate that La Sirene is the embodiment of a cross mixed culture, the evolution of Indigenous & African water spirits combined, due to the excess trauma of colonization and so the Mermaid Queen was born. Others will argue that she is the Orisha Yemaya but a newer avatar of her.  I hate to argue semantics but I will say this, she exists and her presence is felt to this day, all around the world. 

La Sirene is often depicted as a mulatto woman with eyes like the sea but if you have been blessed to see her in dream state, she does appear sometimes as a brown or dark skinned skinned woman of possibly mixed Indigenous/African ancestry with glowing hypnotic eyes.  Alot of her older depictions, deal with colorism and slavery, but as things have grown in the modern world this imagery has begun to change. However mermaids, are known for their shapeshifting powers - to truly behold her true form, is a gift reserved for the rare few. 

As a keeper of the mysteries, La Sirene also access to many forgotten things in the black subconscious. The element of water is an intensely psychic sign.  Water is her domain, and what is the human body 80% of? WATER! The truth does not hide from her hypnotic eyes. This sacred connection to water and her essence, also means you can  track forgotten elements black history and connect to other deities/cultures who’ve had contact with her & her whole court or other black water spirits as a whole. So let’s take a short historical trip down memory lane.

The Greeks & Black women. Sirens, Aphrodite, Sibyls and other Children of Water 🧜🏾‍♀️

The deity Aphrodite/Venus is of Grecian and Roman legend.  

A little known magikal fact is that Aphrodite/Venus is half siren. She is a child of the water, she was literally birthed this way after Uranus got his balls cut off & thrown into the sea. Much of her Venusian influence and powers of love and beauty come from this element. Now my Mambo doesn’t like mentioning it but Aphrodite, is tolerated by the oceanic court of sirens/mermaids. Any child of water, falls under the domain of the queen. La Sirene has a sort of strange fondness for her and so does Aphrodite for her. However this doesn’t mean they are best friends.  It’s tentative friendship at best and comes with some perks. Aphrodite works quickly for children of water sirens and often will send mermaids to her devotees who misbehave. She has deliberately placed me around her people have pissed her off, to cause mischief. She’s quite petty but also  very generous. I won’t go as far to dare and say she is in the queen’s court, but she does curry favor with the queen. Being born of water, her half siren/mermaid influence has definitely attributed to legends of her beauty in myth but also her treachery with men 🧜🏾‍♀️😂. She clearly also has some sort of homesickness for the world underneath the water, because many of her offerings are gifts of pearls, kisses, sea shells, beauty products etc. Anyone who serves the Mermaid Queen knows the meaning behind those gifts. If you’re a black gyal with water or siren energy and decide to work with Aphrodite, do it!  If you ever irritate her, the least she’ll do is give you pimples and fuck up your skin, she won’t have the full power to completely fuck up your love life like she does with the white girls.  And let me tell you, she has completely ruined some white girls lives by giving them terrible lovers or men.  

The trident 🔱 is known for its connection in Greek and Hindu cultures.  However La Sirene or other African water spirits are depicted carrying it, which is largely ignored in the occult world.

You can track the trident in Hinduism, with the serpent spirits, the nagas or Lord Shiva but let’s focus on it’s Grecian connection. The usage of the trident and Poseidon, even in mainstream society today is associated with him.  This lets us know there is a connection between the mermaids, merfolk and La Sirene/African water spirits. Poseidon’s trident was rumored to made in Athens by the Cyclops - this is the city of Athena. So now we can track an element of black history all the way to Poseidon & Athena. Keep that in your thoughts we’ll come back to that later.

Tridents were also used ceremonially in Africa & India as well, as scepters, tribal weapons and religious symbols.

They were also associated with the sea faring people and fishing. It’s highly likely the origins of the trident are cross mixed between these two societies. Indo-African relations, go back to the Bronze age and the Indus Valley civilization. Which means traveling over by sea to reach each other was necessary. There is historical evidence of African millet being found in a Indian city Chanhudaro, including a cemetary or burial ground for African women.  Maritime relations between these two groups existed before Grecian & the Egyptian Ptolemaic dynasties.

Now of course there are some deranged historians that will try to whitewash history and say the trident has its origins from the labyrs but the Ancient Greeks & Africans/Indians interacted regularly. The trident also looks nothing like a labyrs, which is quite literally a double sided axe.  This is one of the more painful obvious pieces of white washing and historical revisionism. 

Regardless, the trident is associated with water, ceremonial/religious purposes, fishing, battling in the coliseum and the symbol of power for a few African,  Black diasporian an Hindu deities.

🧜🏾‍♀️ Oracles & Sibyls

Some sibyls/oracles were known to be African prophetesses/Mamissi to the Mami Wata/Sirens in Africa, some were stolen or captured by Greeks or Romans, sold into slavery and made to be oracles, some of whom became quite famous in legend. Their connection to these water spirits, is what gave them their gift of prophecy. Not every sibyl or oracle was African but SOME were.  This lead to the sharing and theft of sacred knowledge. It’s likely these women shared this sacred information, with their colleagues, some whom may or may not have been enslaved or kept in these temple and likely this information was traded, for their freedom, power or money etc. This gave way to the usage of sacred spirits and magick being used by men. A great example of this is the snake spirits of the genii, genius spirits (not to be mistaken with genies) and which then evolved into a diluted lesser energy in Greek society being known as daemons (not to be confused with goetic demons) Instead of a woman commanding these specific energies/spirits, the patriarchs decided that these specifics powers were only worthy of being used by men. These spirits were whitewashed, adopted into their religious practices and said to only be given to men at birth. No woman was allowed to possess them anymore.

🧜🏾‍♀️ The whitewashing of Medusa & Lamia. 

In mainstream society these two women stories have been white washed but also to hide a very shameful history and narrative. These two were beautiful women, in older stories of black black mythology were known to be black and they were children of water & daughters of the powerful water spirit/snake/siren divine mother/feminine goddess. 

Medusa was raped by the GREECIAN GOD OF THE SEA, POSEIDON  and Athena covered it up, refused to avenge her and punished her by making her ugly to everyone. It’s speculated in several magikal circles that the snakes in her hair were actually dreads, due to their lack of understanding of black hair and also allegorically might have been a reference to her devotion to the fish or water snake, great mother goddess. A child of the divine feminine, mother goddess was assaulted in a temple by a man and a woman covered it up & celebrated it.

Let’s start there ... cuz this story says a lot! It’s one of the first historical cases  in myth that really documents the issues that surround the black feminine specifically and it was intentionally whitewashed. Then to add insult to injury, Athena made her hideous to all men and her chopped off her head and used as a symbol of protection but also a subtle sign of disrespect to the fullest. This still goes on to this day.

In fact ALGOL, the demon star, which is considered to be strongest protective magick talisman in the occult world today is the HEAD OF MEDUSA. The child of water! BITCH! This energy is invoked constantly and the spirit of medusa is never allowed to rest.

However these egregious acts did not come without a price. Athena at time was a goddess of fertility. However desecrating a child of water or the sirens, is seen as an attack by the divine feminine and can will cause people to be afflicted with fertility and other mental health issues as well. This is speculative but it’s also likely that after this they were constantly visited by droughts, floods or repeating issues with water sanitation & purity after this. Lowered fertility rates and miscarriages might be more prominent, for Athenians and Athena devotees & likely continues to this day.

Devotees of Athena may also develop severe issues when it to their mental health because of this connection. They completely lose touch with their feminine energy and become extremely misogynistic after continued work with her.

Not only did Athena, cause Medusa to be seen as hideous throughout the land but she celebrated when she was murdered and proudly wore Medusa’s decapitated head on her shield. From the feminist eye this virgin deity/woman was extremely male identified and adhered to the patriarchal standard. She was tested by the divine feminine and failed.

Even more strange, Athena’s birth allegorically proclaims her essential character: her wisdom is drawn from the head of a male god; the bond of affection between father and daughter; her championship of heroes and male causes, born as she was from the male, and not from a mother’s womb. A dreaded goddess of war, she remained a virgin and a servant of the patriarchal society and remains so to this day. She is the misogynistic cool girl and very asexual at the core. In fact if you explore more of her mythos, it becomes very clear she hates women. I’m bewildered at how she has become associated with lesbians and the feminine at large, when it’s been very clear that she was intent on transcending her gender from the very beginning, but never managed to escape it.  

To top it off, I’ll leave you with this quote from Aeschylus’ Oresteia by Athena:

“There is no mother anywhere who gave me birth, and, but for marriage, I am always for the male with all my heart, and strongly on my father’s side. So, in a case where the wife has killed her husband, lord of the house, her death shall not mean most to me.”

Queen Lamia was a said to incredible beauty who seduced Zeus, (a literal man whore) which as made Hera jealous. Hera cursed Lamia with infertility and insomnia. She went insane and is said to have killed her own children and ate them. Zeus is said to be the one who gifted her prophecy and gave her the ability to take out her eyes, so she would not be irritated at the site of other happy mothers.

She became associated with a child eating monster who was half woman and half snake, which ties into the Libyan snake cults. She was associated with phantoms, the shapshifting laimai or empusai and the daemon spirits.

Medusa and Lamia were Libyan by heritage and came from a place in Africa where temples to the water snake mother goddess & divine feminine were common before they were destroyed by invaders intentionally. These women likely had extreme gifts of seduction, mind control and other abilities etc. It’s highly likely that Queen Lamia used her powers of seduction, at the behest of her people to save them from colonization and was demonized for it. Zeus’s temple was in Cyrene in Lybia, so this is far more than an allegorical story. This may be a real life story that was disguised in mythos. Unfortunately deeper research into this subject has turned up many dead ends for me. It’s highly likely Medusa was a priestess of the the matriarchal Mami Watas or water goddess/snake spirits and was likely raped intentionally in Athena’s temple, as a show loyalty to the rising patriarchy by descrating the symbolism of the great mother and the divine feminine. This was likely an attempt to lessen power and status of the matriachal societies that existed at the time. Rape was common war tactic amongst colonizers and news of such disgrace would likely spread like wildfire. This also solidified Athena’s place amongst the male gods and gaining her their respect. Athena and her devotees went a step further to show their allegiance to the patriarchy, by stripping Medusa of her beauty supposedly and exiling her, then parading her decapitated head on shields, when going into battle likely with Libyan enemies.

This is just a brief explanation of a few horrific acts in history, which were whitewashed & explain why the essence of the black feminine has evolved to become more protective, predatory and fierce. She learned to defend herself. Now she kills those who threaten her. 

Fun history tip: Usually anytime you see a snake in Grecian mythology, just know something got whitewashed, because the truth was really fucked up, made them look really bad & a black woman was there.

🧜🏾‍♀️ The black feminine is capable of more than you know.

Yes, mermaids/sirens/snakes & the mami watas can be scary at times but that’s what stepping into mysticism of deep waters is like. Water is capable of many things, it is one of the most powerful elements on earth. It can nourish you and kill you, and that’s the beauty of it really.

We should all be grateful the black feminine is so beautiful, fierce & scares the living daylights out of everyone.

You would be dead if it wasn’t.

[songmingisthighs]

Hooked

introduction pt. i | pt. ii | pt. iii

ch. lxiv - cowards

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??? × reader, ateez × reader

A freshman hookup rekindled into something new. With an incentive, of course. But what would happen if your 'relationship' led you somewhere you never thought would happen to you ?

After sending the last text, Mingi and Jongho didn't waste time and immediately rush to (Y/N)'s room. When they arrived, the door was ajar with Seonghwa standing inside. He was staring blankly around, seemingly confused.

"Hyung, have you been here?" Jongho asked, breaking Seonghwa's trance.

"Y-yeah, I did- she left? Just like that ??" Seonghwa asked, still not believing anything that just happened.

Maybe it was Seonghwa's guilt. The fact that his last interaction with you was him accusing you of being a whore didn't sit right with him. There was a lump in his throat and a heavy feeling on his chest. It felt like he was suffocating.

The three of them stood silently, not knowing what to answer.

As they stood silently, the other boys walked in one by one. Wooyoung walked in first with San in tow, they both immediately took note of the silence and just stared at each other with guilt.

One by one everyone else filled the room, staring blankly at the emptiness and letting sorrow and regret fill them.

"S-so that's it? She left us yet AGAIN after having just came back last night?" Hongjoong asked in disbelief. There was no malice in his tone, there were no ill intentions. He was shocked, surprised at the sudden tension.

Mingi turned to look at the eldest with much disdain, "After what happened to her last night, could you really give her blame?"

inking that Hongjoong felt wronged, as he thought his assumption was justified. To be singled out as such was a little bit too much. "Are you trying to be a hero here?" he asked the taller guy. Mingi scoffed at him, "Hero? You think I have some sort of a complex?" "I don't know, do you? I don't think it's a hero complex, but there must be some sort of a messed up complex in you. Because you've been all over the place and overreacting, acting like a mess when you can't find (Y/N) and yet not saying anything when she was here, letting Yeosang ran his mouth at her, driving her off,"

At the mention of his name, Yeosang spoke up from the corner of the room. "I drove her off? Are you fucking serious?" to which San, who was by his side scoffed, "Weren't you the one who verbally attacked her last night? Calling her out on leaving without any explanation was one thing, but to call her a wandering tramp?" "Okay, I was looking out for all of us. YOU especially, San! You don't know how much it affected me seeing you all broken down and you even fell into depression! As your friend, I was fucking worried!" Yeosang defended himself.

Wooyoung chimed in, scoffing at his long-time friend, "Looking out for us? From what? From who? The woman we love? If you wanna go off on her, that's one hundred percent your choice, but don't use us as your excuse. That's just pathetic, man," he told Yeosang whilst glaring at him.

Seonghwa got in between the two, preventing them both from going at it even further. "Okay, enough with you two, you both can't be fighting during this time. Yeosang might've said some... unnecessary things to (Y/N) last night, but things aren't completely his fault," he reasoned.

Surprisingly, Yunho chimed in, smirking at the older man, "You got that right," he muttered. Yunho's voice was intentionally loud enough for everyone to hear, but still low enough for it to seem snarky.

At his chime, Seonghwa furrowed his eyebrows at Yunho, "what's that supposed to mean?" Yunho stepped to Seonghwa while tilting his head as if challenging him, "Don't play dumb, hyung, I heard you last night. Here, you mentioned Yeosang calling (Y/N) names when you basically called her the same thing,"

Whilst the others were left confused, Seonghwa visibly froze. His demeanour changed to a nervous one.

"Yunho, what the fuck are you talking about?" Hongjoong asked.

Yunho looked to the side at Hongjoong casually, "I walked by when I was about to get water last night when I heard yelling from inside her room. Whatever they were talking about, I heard Seonghwa hyung yelling something about (Y/N) staying with guys other than her cousin. The implication was bad, I even heard (Y/N) crying,"

All eyes suddenly shifted to Seonghwa. "Hyung, you made her cry?" San asked, not able to completely believe that Seonghwa was capable of doing that to (Y/N).

Tension rose in the room and suddenly everyone was arguing with each other. All but Jongho who stayed by the sideline, watching the whole thing unfold between his older friends with disappointment in his eyes.

"What happened?" you asked him, appearing by his side out of nowhere.

Jongho sighed before crossing his arms, "They're blaming each other because you left again," he muttered. You frowned and furrowed your eyebrows, "But, I haven't left yet?"

At that, Jongho finally looked at you properly. His eyes widened as wide as they could go, "Oh, hey! You're still here!" He exclaimed loudly, capturing the attention of everyone who was bickering inside.

You stared at them weirdly, "Yeah? Why is that so surprising?"

Mingi stepped out towards you slowly, his hands reached out to grab yours in his softly, "W-we thought you had really left again," he told you, his voice broke from how glad he was.

But that relieved feeling was soon crushed when he heard your answer.

"Well, now I am. I was making sure of something and waiting for Haknyeon to come to pick me up. Since he's here now, I'm... Gonna go," you smiled at them gently. Despite that, there were clear indications that the smile you wore was one of a broken heart.

Seonghwa couldn't help but let his words slip without thinking properly, "You're going back with him and his friends?" to which Yunho immediately nudged him hard on his stomach.

You turn to look at Seonghwa directly. You shook your head at him before answering, "No, I'm not going back to his apartment. Wouldn't be right for me and wouldn't be fair to him. He's just escorting me to my old dorm where I will be staying," you told him. Seonghwa immediately gulped after hearing your answer. He felt bad for jumping to that conclusion, especially after you told him where you were going.

At this point, San had tears brimming in his eyes, blurring his vision, "Wh-why are you going again, (Y/N)? You just got back," he asked as he walked closer to you.

Seeing his tears, you couldn't help but get emotional as well. you let one hand off of Mingi's grasp to cup San's cheek, rubbing it gently with your thumb, "I just have to, Sannie, I'm sorry. I... Just came back up here to tell Mingi and Jongho directly that I'm gonna go now,"

Wooyoung pushed people away to charge directly at you, "Only Mingi and Jongho? That's it? The rest of us didn't even deserve your goodbyes?" there was no resentment in his voice, you noticed. His eyes, however, showed much sorrow.

You sighed and shrugged at him, "With how things went last night, I don't even know if you all wanted to see me again, that's why I tried making my escape as quickly and silently as possible,"

Hongjoong suddenly spoke up, "See, I don't think you wanna leave at all, because if you do, you wouldn't tell us at all and just leave,"

The way he said it set something off in you. Your previous calm demeanour switched within mere milliseconds as you answered Hongjoong bitterly, "of course I don't wanna leave. You think this is easy on me?"

Without realizing it, you slipped your hands off of Mingi's grasp and San's cheek. The others who were in the way moved to the side to let you face Hongjoong directly, slightly afraid of you, "You really think that I came back here just to leave the next day? If so, then not only that you're dead wrong, but you're also an asshole. Every single one of you is acting like I've only been playing around with you all, going back and forth as I please because I don't know what I want. You don't even know why I left. Maybe most of it was because I didn't tell you guys, but part of it was because neither of you even gave me the chance to even explain last night. All of you just turned your backs on me and walked away," you laughed bitterly.

Your words struck them deep. Because they were all true. You might have been the one who started the fight, but they were the ones who delivered the final blow. Not to mention they're male adults who should've been able to communicate and made better decisions. Lastly, there were eight of them and one of you, how was that fair?

The silence and the expression on their faces said a lot, you realized if you were to tell them everything, that was your chance.

So you took a deep breath and spilt everything to them.

You told them about the threat Sunhee gave you, the proof they had, and how they planned on ruining their futures. You told them about how you felt like you didn't have any choice and how you didn't want to make things worse so you just listen to them until you were able to think of something, you wanted to protect them. You also told them how paranoid they made you and how you almost went crazy from worrying over them whilst having to be worried over what those crazy bitches might do.

When you finished talking, you realized that the boys had had tears streaming down their faces. You could see their resolves wilting away and being replaced by regret and shame.

Without even saying anything, Wooyoung pulled you into his arms tightly. He cried, saying how sorry he was for how he acted last night and how he should've trusted you more. Yunho and San wrapped their arms around you too, despite the tears streaming down, they managed to utter how sorry they were for not doing anything. Soon, Hongjoong, Seonghwa, Mingi, and Jongho attached themselves to the growing group hug as well, wordlessly showing their remorse. Despite their lack of words, you understood them just fine.

At that moment, you felt safe, you felt relieved that you were finally able to tell them everything. Things finally seem like they will go back to normal.

Maybe except for one thing.

You lifted your face from where it was nestled in the crook of Wooyoung's neck to meet eyes with the one person who was still rooted in his position.

Yeosang immediately looked away, an attempt you assume was to cover up his own tears.

Though heartbroken that he seemed to still resent you, you took the current win and let yourself bask in the warmth the guys were giving you.

You promised yourself then and there that you wouldn't act so carelessly anymore.

At least not without letting them know.

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@raysanshine @peachy-maia @xuxiable @90s-belladonna @theclawofaraven @sanraes @sungiehan @felix-kithes @nycol-ie @superstarw99 @skkrtnawrskkrt @viv-atiny @the7thcrow @stfu-xeena @laurademaury @multihoe-net @daisyhwa @scoupshushushu @whyisquill @bikiniholic @yunhorights @exfolitae @simplewonderland @verycooldog2 @perfectlysane24 @hannahdinse8 @tannie13 @aka-minhyuk-kun @phebeedee @em0yunho @marsophilia @donghyuckanti27 @se-onghwa @malewife-supremacy @hyunsukream @elijahbabyb @taejichafe @alliecoady98 @rdiamondbts2727 @hakuna-matata-ya @ohmy-fandoms @ateezminonspace @stray-bi-kids @imaaroy @fashi0nablee @rindomo @violetwinters @nabihwa @linhyyboo12 @mirror-juliet @bestboiericsohn @hwahwaseong

[river-bottom-nightmare]

Nightwing #80 Review

woot woot i’ve kept it up for three issues lets gooo. i liked this issue more than the last one. there’s a lot of fanon dick characterization peppered in, but not so much that it puts me off entirely. also, i’m getting increasingly concerned about bitewing. but i did like tim in this one, very nice

look at all the blue and purple and pink. honestly at this point, i’m a broken record but come on come on come onnnnnnn. the blue and pink is very pretty though. this cover’s a bit offputting at first, and a bit spiraly, which i’m sure was the intended effect.

this is a genuine concern of mine. dick’s a vigilante, and he doesn’t have the same sprawling network and resources that bruce does. (even if he is a billionaire now, he hasn’t amassed the same collection of crime-fighting equipment that bruce has.) 

i’m not sure if he’ll be able to take care of bitewing. damian’s got plenty of pets, but alfred used to take care of them, and now bruce plus the rest of the batfam is taking care of them. as far as we know, babs only drops by occasionally, and the same goes for dick’s family and friends. will dick be able to give bitewing the love and time and affection that a traumatized puppy like her needs? i really hope so.

she does look adorable in this panel tho.

dick. richard. richie. baby. why are you shirtless.

you have scars upon scars. probably chemical burns. bullet wounds. weird fucking squiggly lines from knives that only psychos with blade fetishes use. no normal person has the body that you do. and you don’t think that showing up shirtless in front of the police is going to raise suspicion? you don’t think that the people accusing you of murder are going to look at someone who looks like they’re a fucking mob enforcer and go hmm that’s a bit suspicious?

put on a SHIRT jesus CHRIST it’s like you’re not even trying to hide your identity.

look at this pompous little princess demanding only the highest quality head pets i’d burn down latvia for her. (no offense latvians it was the first country that popped into my head.)

pretty boy pretty boy pretty boy pretty boy-

no seriously kudos to the artist here. his expression is so human i wanna cry. dick, right now, is sheepishly asking a question. he knows he’s not going to get into any real trouble, he knows that he’ll be able to talk his way out of or somehow maneuver his way off this mess. but he’ll play nice for the police, so he’s asking a friend for a favour, part self-condescendingly and part oh-well-what-can-you-do.

and his expression reflects that. rather than a stoic expressionless face most male comic characters have when asking someone for something (or all the time really), rather than the weird desperate supposedly “seductive” face that most female comic characters plus dick grayson have when asking someone for something (or all the time really), he’s making a face that i pulled like yesterday. or the day before that. it’s kind of silly, kind of casual, very much human. i like it.

thank god. proper (in character) acknowledgement for officer grayson. yea, fuck cops in general, but i like that they included this line.

obviously, he’s not talking about the actual criminals, he’s talking about the police force itself. the bpd was too corrupt, and dick realized that he wasn’t helping. not only does one clean cop not make a dent in an overall dirty force, but dick was putting his allies in danger too. not only that, but it wasn’t good for dick’s mental health either. he was spreading himself too thin, and surrounding himself with some of the worst of crime 24/7 did a number on him. dick’s got a history of self-sacrificing tendencies, and i’m just glad he’s not a cop anymore.

dick has a gotham rogues mug. they make gotham rogue mugs, and dick has one.

what kinda city looks at it’s frankly horrible crime history and long list of certifiably insane serial killers who are all still alive and actively committing war crimes and goes “oooooh yea imma put that on a coffee mug!” gotham, that’s who.

this isn’t important i just like how all of bitewing’s barks are blue

back straight, hand on his hip, cheerful smile on his face as he says he’s being accused for murder. love that for him.

they couldn’t have said “yea it’s complicated” in a better way even if they put the words “yea it’s complicated” right there on the page in bold red letters. literally all the love to the artists.

dick please. you’re KILLING ME what the actual fuck IS THAT???? WHY DO YOU HAVE A MUG OF THAT???

anyway nightwing collects novelty mugs confirmed.

this paneling is so beautiful. 

tim’s the focus, but he’s not the first thing you see. he’s placed in a way that forces the reader to drag their eyes all the way up the page in order to reach him. it us know just how high up tim is carelessly crouching, especially close to the ledge of the building too. i cannot think of a single better way to introduce a character, and this character in particular: you instantly know this is a version of tim with plenty of experience and training, is comfortable in his body and knows his limits, but still hangs onto that civilian awe of being in a high place and overlooking a brightly lit city.

absolute classic robin. i love it. 

this isn’t even that important but it made me happy. this is how you train surf.

you don’t crouch or bend over when you get to a tunnel, which is oddly enough what most people think (at least from my experience). you bend backward. that not only 100% ensures that you’ll make sure you’re low enough to make it through the tunnel (because you can see the top of the tunnel, unlike when you crouch or bend), but it also makes it easier to get up: all you have to do is push up with your arms into a bent stance, and you’ll be in a ready, moving position. from a bend or a crouch, getting up is more awkward and more slow.

on a meta level, i like that this creative team knows what they’re doing when it comes to the small, almost unimportant stuff like that, because it makes the action more real. (as real as you can get with a guy running around stealing hearts.)

on a in-universe level, it once again drives home both dick and tim’s experience and professional level skill.

regardless of who you side with in the “should tim drake be robin again?” debate, you gotta admit that tim’s rebirth robin suit is r a d as fuck. if i’m not mistaken, this is the same one he was wearing in 2019 young justice for a little bit? it’s cute and hella cool i like it.

remember what i said about human expressions? doesn’t happen as often to tim bc he’s a Child, but it’s still nice to note when someone humanizes him, too. (that’s why i love the duckboy panel so much lol.)

me, at first: that’s not a “good call” dick that’s just common sense

me, now: sprinkled throughout the entire comic we can see dick bending to tim’s instructions if only briefly, joking with him to keep the mood light while still maintaining a serious mood and retaining control over this particular outing. this implies that dick’s doing it intentionally, purposefully leaving places in his sentences blank and offering affirmations, in order to encourage tim and train him in things bruce might not necessarily touch on, such as social chameleoning and misdirection techniques and love/affirmation from a family member. dick is not only a loving and supportive big brother, but he never stops training his younger brother in better vigilante tecnhiques because he wants tim to be better than him. in this essay i will-

d o g g o

also bitewing is getting so many head pats today i’m living for it

look at him, standing on a telephone wire with ease. nice flex, dick.

also look at how he’s silhouetted. the moon’s full bright, bright enough that the sky around dick is light, too. (at least. i’m like 99% sure that’s the moon.) not like most batman comics, where it’s sometimes hard to distinguish bruce from the background, which is entirely on purpose.

gotham is a dark gritty city, and so is bruce. the two of them are one. bludhaven may be a bit of a mess, but it’s being portrayed in all these different shades of blue and purple and pink, that are all light enough that dick stands out from the background. he hasn’t been swallowed up by the city, and chances are that he won’t ever be. also, the colouring helps establish bludhaven as a city too. there’s still hope for it. the light colouring means that it’s not going to sink into a pit as deep as the one bruce wove gotham into. the whole point of this nightwing arc in particular is to turn bludhaven into a better place, and it’s (most likely) letting us know early on that dick is going to accomplish that. he’ll struggle, but he’ll do it.

so dick??? dick designed his escrima sticks with a situation like this in mind? he created his signature and most iconic weapon (other than his chatty mouth), with a built in feature that turns his escrima sticks into tim’s signature and most iconic weapon???? just so that if he and tim ever got into a situation where tim didn’t have his staff, dick could make sure tim had the thing that would give him an edge over anyone he was fighting??? he’s such a big brother oh my goddd.

also tim’s smirk in this is just *chef kiss.* a staff is something he can work with, a staff is something he wields like an extension of his arm, a staff is means that someone’s about to get their ass kicked because tim’s about to beat the shit outta them.

this is my new phone background.

they really made sure we remembered that hey, those first few months when bruce was grieving too much to be any sort of a mentor to tim and was still unwilling to properly train him to be robin out of fear that he would end up like jason, dick was the one who stepped up (once he got over himself and his own fears and hangups with bruce) and trained tim to be robin, trained him how to fight and flip and fuckin fly out there, all while changing his own style a bit to be the more experienced one in the partnership while still trusting said partner to hold their own, so dick and tim have a very unique and cohesive fighting style that makes it hell for anyone who fights them together, didn’t they?

[nobodyfamousposts]

Miracle Queen Aftermath

Because there is a disappointing lack of focus or depth for the aftermath of Miracle Queen in canon, I have made my own.

Be warned of: Chloe salt. A lot of it. Chloe faces consequences for things.

Some Bustier salt. Some Adrien being called out on things (but he gets better).

Enjoy!

In the weeks following the Miracle Queen incident, a lot had happened.

Hawk Moth had increased his power, and was now able to summon akumas and amoks at the same time.

Master Fu was gone and now Ladybug found herself the official Guardian of the Miraculous—along with the Miracle Box, kwamis, and duties that entails.

Marinette had resolved to let go of her crush on Adrien, and to support him and Kagami in their new relationship together.

And Chloe had been arrested and would now be going on trial for assisting a terrorist.

It was that last bit of news that had caused the most commotion in Paris and the world at large. What people would have dismissed as simply another akuma attack turned into a much greater matter when accusations started to be made about Chloe helping the super villain intentionally. This was soon backed by multiple eyewitness accounts and further proven by leaked video evidence showing Chloe not only attempting to grab a butterfly for herself after she was de-akumatized but even negotiating with the terrorist before the incident in which she betrayed the heroes of Paris and revealed the identities of most of the team.

To say that the people of Paris were outraged was putting it mildly. People were akumatized over it. Chloe was in a secured facility where she had armed guards around to watch her just as much as they were there to protect her. New legislation was being considered to specifically address willingly aiding supervillains. The backlash was so severe that many were calling the mayor’s own position into question.

After all, if his daughter could do all of that, who was to say that he wasn’t also in Hawk Moth’s pocket?

For Mayor Andre, his hands were tied. While he had covered for his daughter and her selfishness in the past, this was one thing he couldn’t overlook. Not when it brought his position as mayor under scrutiny. And certainly not when it opened a probe into his own dealings.

None of this was helped either by the multitude of witnesses of Chloe‘s past behavior. In particular, her many victims over the years.

And there were a lot.

Now that Chloe was actually being held accountable for something, it seemed to have opened a floodgate of outcries as the many people she tormented finally felt able to air their grievances. They came out on TV, on social media, on radio. Stories littered the air and internet of the horrors of dealing with this single teenage girl.

“She tried to cheat during this designing competition. She apparently stole some other girl’s hat design and tried to pass it off as her own.”

“She was the reason the mayor tried to shut down my ice skating rink! To build another gym! Paris has enough gyms! Why couldn’t she just go to one of those?”

“She had her dad shut down Clara Nightingale’s music video and got her akumatized just because she didn’t get to play Ladybug. We waited in that line for HOURS and didn’t get chosen either, but no one else threw a fit over it.”

“She shoved a giant signed poster of Adrien Agreste professing his love to her in my friend’s face just to make her cry! I found out after the fact that he didn’t even know about it!”

“Our entire school was punished for someone pulling the fire alarm except for her because she threatened our principal. So while the rest of us were having to clean up the school, she spent the entire time insulting and making fun of us.“

“Knowing her, she probably pulled the fire alarm in the first place.”

“She tried to crash a train! I don’t think I can emphasize that enough: she tried to crash a train!“

“Chloe Bourgeois joined up with Hawk Moth? Can’t say it’s a shock.”

“Yeah, given how many akumas she caused, I’d been wondering if she hadn’t been working with him all along.”

It wasn’t that unbelievable to the populous. Nor did anyone feel particularly sympathetic towards her for her current situation. Some might have for lack of knowing her, but Chloe had carved herself a special place in the memories and hearts of nearly every Parisian. There was nobody who didn’t know of her or have some experience with her by this point. So when it came out that she was arrested and facing criminal charges, the response was…rather telling.

Practically everyone was calling loved ones as soon as they heard, resulting in high phone and internet traffic. The Ladyblog crashed after making the announcement. Several people threw parties. People over the internet started coming up with a list of “Things We Will Be Allowed To Do Once Chloe Is In Prison”, with a count that currently rested at 139 and was rising quickly. One guy bought 500 cupcakes and just started passing them out to people on the street singing a jaunty little tune from some late 1930’s cult classic American movie. The school had closed down for a couple of days due to several teachers calling out sick—possibly with hangovers from celebrating a bit too hard. Various Queen-related hashtags and memes were trending with each seeming to fight for the top spot of most used. #let her eat cake was currently in the lead. And Mr. Ramier somehow orchestrated a 21 pigeon salute. On Chloe’s rooftop.

As it was, nobody expressed surprise when it came out that she worked with a supervillain. Many were disappointed, shaking their heads and saying “if only something had been done sooner” or blaming the parents and teachers and other adults in her life. Most were angry, mainly that things had been allowed to get this far and that they hadn’t been acted on earlier—particularly after the train incident.

But no. Nobody was surprised.

Except, perhaps, Marinette herself.

Still reeling from the events of Miracle Queen and the aftermath of…well…everything involved, Marinette had been questioning herself. Constantly. Incessantly. Going over and over in her mind all the things she could have done differently. Blaming herself for all the major blows to their team.

She lost her mentor. Her allies have been compromised. Chloe, one of her former allies, chose to betray them all. Hawk Moth had the grimoire now. Marinette didn’t have a grimoire. Fu had no memories.

And it was all because of her mistakes.

Last time, the prospect of never having to deal with Chloe again had been a relief.

Now…it was background static to her.

She could barely hear the announcements and cheers over the endless cycle of her own thoughts.

I should have tried harder. I should have been more aware. I failed them all. This is because of me.

So while everyone else in Paris was celebrating, de-stressing, or just outright reveling in the news, Marinette was grieving. With the help of the kwamis and Chat Noir, she had been trying to come to terms with what happened and figure out the next plan of action.

Hawk Moth had changed the game, so she needed to step up hers.

The days seemed to have passed in a blur. Between working with the kwamis, trying to recreate and retranslate the grimoire, and simply trying to deal with the remnants of Fu’s life that he had left to her, Marinette had barely even kept up with the current state of things in Paris. Or in particular, Chloe.

Not until the day came when Bustier made an announcement.

Chloe‘s trial date was finally decided. And though she didn’t say as such, it was clear that the case against her was pretty solid. There was video evidence. Eye witness accounts. And Chloe’s own words and actions working against her.

The odds were not in her favor on this. Even if her parents did try to help her, she wasn’t going to get off this time. Aside from getting the best lawyers money by, there really wasn’t much they could do.

Maybe that was why Bustier had tried to step in?

“Now class, I have received word that they are moving to the next step with Chloe’s hearing. Right now, they are looking for character witnesses for Chloe’s defense.” The kind teacher explained, causing Marinette to snap to awareness and realize just what was going on. Partly because of the mention of Chloe and her court case.

But mostly because of the sudden dead silence in the class…

To be fair, she wasn’t sure she could say anything either. Marinette felt her throat go dry and her muscles tense. There was a sudden tightness in her lungs that while she could breathe, it felt like she was suffocating. Why was Bustier bringing this up now?

The teacher smiled, seemingly unaware of the sudden tension and Marinette’s slow drowning. “I know this has been a difficult experience knowing that one of your classmates is facing such a trial. And Chloe will certainly need support. So I thought it would be kind if everyone wrote a letter supporting her for the hearing coming up, so the courts can hear about Chloe and understand more about who she is.”

Silence. Dead silence.

Maybe Bustier herself picked up on the growing tension, as she proceeded to move to passing out papers to the class. “I thought it would make for a nice project, so I will give you all the forms explaining the requirements. Take some time to think over what positive things you want to say about Chloe. If you have any questions, please feel free to come talk to me.”

After that, she quickly left the room, citing the desire to let them have this free time to work on the letters.

The class remained silent for a good minute after she left. Almost as if they were questioning if she would return. Or perhaps if she was listening.

Then—

��‘Think about what positive things we want to say about Chloe?’ Well that’s easy!” Alix spoke blithely, curling the paper she received into a ball. “Nothing!” She shouted and tossed it over her shoulder. “Assignment done!”

Murmurs filled the classroom. Some sounded uncertain, but most seemed to be in agreement. Or at least expressing distaste for the assignment.

“Is she serious?”

“Does she really expect us to?”

“Of all the worst ideas...”

Marinette could hear them, but couldn’t seem to acknowledge anything around her. And furthermore, she couldn’t make herself respond.

Chloe‘s trial was set for a point in the next few weeks, and at this point there was no denying just what type of person she was. If anything, this was probably the first time that anyone was allowed to actually speak their mind about the girl, and they were all reveling in it. Her classmates in particular.

Marinette couldn’t quite bring herself to.

Sure, Chloe has tried to blackmail her more than once.

And damaged her gift to their teacher.

And attempted to frame her a few times.

And stolen her hat design.

And her diary.

And a Miraculous.

And all of the other Miraculous.

But...she had been doing better for a while there, hadn’t she?

Didn’t she only betray them all in the end because Marinette had chosen Kagami over her for her own selfish reasons? Didn’t Hawk Moth only capture Fu because of her own mistake? Hadn’t Chloe only revealed everyone else because she felt betrayed? Couldn’t Marinette have done more to prevent Chloe turning?

Wasn’t a simple letter on Chloe’s virtues the least she could do?

So why...

Why couldn’t she seem to bring herself to?

Kim frowned, looking at his paper in worry. “We’re not going to get graded on this, are we?”

Nathaniel huffed. “I’ll willingly take the failing grade any day.”

“Hear hear!”

“But if it’s a grade…” Max murmured to himself. Out of everyone in the class, he took his grades the most seriously, so this was no doubt a difficult choice for him. He looked at his paper with a rather conflicted expression for a minute before sighing and turning it face-down on the desk. “No. It’s an impossible task in the first place.”

Kim rested a hand on Max’s shoulder in sympathy. It wasn’t that he cared as much about grades as Max did, but it was clear that the fallout of refusing could be more troubling for the genius who took his academic performance so seriously. If Bustier did make it a mandatory assignment with a grade, it’d be horribly unfair of her.

“What was it Chloe said before?” Ivan asked, looking over his page with a glare. “Once a monster, always a monster? I guess she’d know more than anyone.”

Mylene hugged him. “You’re not a monster. You never chose to be.”

“None of us did.” Nino agreed.

“Nobody did except her.” Alix bit out.

Mumbles of agreement came from the rest of the class. It was clear that none of them were on board with having anything to do with Chloe, much less try to help her with her current legal woes.

There was a large part of Marinette that agreed with them. But even so, there was also a large part of her that insisted she had to do the right thing and help.

She knew she should say something. She was supposed to say something here. Because it was her fault, after all. She was Ladybug. She had to be the better person. Shouldn’t she?

“Marinette? Girl, are you okay?” Alya asked, drawing her attention. “You look a bit pale.”

It was too much. It was suffocating.

“I think I need some air. Excuse me.”

She didn’t know if anyone watched her leave the classroom. She hadn’t even noticed if anyone had chosen to follow her.

Not until…

“Marinette, are you all right?”

She spun around in surprise.

“Oh! Adrien! Hey! Hi! Hello!” She blabbered. Why was he here? Did he come out after her? Why? She didn’t need this right now! She struggled enough with him under normal circumstances, she wasn’t sure she could handle being alone with him now. Her stress over everything was bad enough, but having him approach her set her anxiety skyrocketing.

“Hey,” he replied, smiling at her—and oh, what a beautiful smile. On any other day, it would ease her worries and make her want to swoon, but right now, it just made her more nervous.

“Are you all right?” He asked again. “You didn’t look so well in class.”

“Y-yeah. Just…” she sighed. “I just have a lot on my mind. With…you know…everything.”

He nodded in understanding. “I know what you mean.”

She smiled. She could always count on Adrien to be a calming supportive friend. He was always so sweet and reliable. If anyone could understand or relate to the chaotic mix of emotions she was feeling, he could.

He sighed in sympathy. “Poor Chloe.”

She froze.

“Chloe?”

“Well, yeah.” He replied, like it was obvious. “I mean, she did a bad thing, but now she’s going through the worst experience of her life. One that could ruin her future. And people are glad about it!” He shook his head. “It’s just too cruel.”

Marinette just stared.

He wasn’t wrong. But…that was what he was worried about?

She couldn’t fault him of course, because Adrien was always so kind and considerate and of course he’d feel for Chloe but…something about this just…pulled at something inside of her and was choking it.

“Chloe is already suffering enough and it feels like no one wants to help her. You heard them.” He gestured back to the classroom. “We’re being given an opportunity to make a difference for her and they’re all just saying she deserves it. Chloe is alone and hurting and they want her to hurt more.”

She felt a denial on her lips but couldn’t give voice to it.

“Everyone is so great with each other. It’s always just Chloe who is kind of on the outside. I know you’ve seen it.”

She hadn’t, actually. Because it was never Chloe on the outside looking in, it was Chloe looking down on them. Whether it was because she genuinely thought she was better or because it made her feel better to do so.

He hesitated for a moment before looking at her. And there was something in his expression that told her he was about to ask something. A gut feeling told her that it was going to be something she wouldn’t like.

“Do you think you could talk to them?” He asked her, looking so sad and despondent that she just wanted to hug him and agree to anything to make that look go away.

“M-me?”

He wanted her to convince her classmates to help Chloe?

“I know you and Chloe have had your differences, but you’ve been able to see past her front. And you’ve done a lot to help her before.” He smiled. “Like the party you threw for her after she became Queen Bee.”

A traitorous voice asked if giving her a second chance with the Miraculous she had previously stolen wasn’t enough? Why did she have to feel bad for her leaving and throw her a party to make her feel special?

“Chloe really needs the help right now. And you’re always so good about that sort of thing.” He looked to her imploringly. “Do you think you could try to get them to at least give Chloe a hand? I don’t know what impact it’ll have in her hearing, but any little bit helps, right?”

Go back in there? With the tension and the suffocation to try and convince her classmates to help when she was questioning whether to herself?

But she had to, right? After all, couldn’t she have prevented this if she had acted sooner? Couldn’t she have helped sooner instead of being focused on her own petty problems? Isn’t that what Ladybug should do?

“Please, Marinette? They listen to you. If you asked them to, I’m sure they’d be willing to at least try.”

Her vision started to dim, seeming to tunnel in on Adrien and his sad and hopeful expression. Her thoughts crying about CHLOE and poor CHLOE and how hurt CHLOE was and how it was her fault for CHLOE—

“I—”

“Oh no! No, you do NOT.”

Marinette suddenly found herself torn away from Adrien by a sudden grab of her arm and pulling sensation. She felt as if she was pushed out of the way by a fierce gale. Like a raging whirlwind had spun her around and behind it.

That whirlwind’s name was Alya.

“How dare you? How dare you try to make my girl be responsible for this!”

Marinette floundered because she had not expected this and oh no now her best friend looked ready to tear her crush’s head off!

“Alya, we don’t have to do this!” She pleaded, trying to calm the other girl down.

“Oh, we most certainly do.” Came another voice. And sure enough, the rest of the class had stepped out as well. All of them looked in varying ranges of frustrated and that frustration was clearly directed at her and Adrien.

Or rather just Adrien, as Marinette discovered when Rose and Juleka pulled her aside and out of their direct line of sight. They were all looking at Adrien, and those were not nice or understanding expressions.

Oh no! This was a disaster! Now everyone was upset and she should have just agreed or said something sooner!

Completely unaware of Marinette’s inner turmoil, Alya stepped forward and jabbed at Adrien in the chest. “You are not going to make my girl feel bad and try to help someone who has never done a single nice thing for her or anyone.” She spat out, forcing him to back away.

Adrien held his hands up in a placating gesture. “Come on, Chloe is not that bad.“

“Not that bad?” Nino exclaimed, shaking his head in disbelief at his friend’s words. “Adrien, Chloe betrayed us!“

“She took over Paris!”

“She turned us into her servants!“

“Not to mention the other things…”

“Do we really have to name each time?” Alya started to count on her fingers. “Chloe CHOSE to take the Miraculous for herself instead of returning it. She CHOSE to transform in front of everyone and reveal her identity to the world. She CHOSE to try and crash a train, risking the lives of EVERYONE on board just to show off. She CHOSE to run off with it when Ladybug tried to take it back.”

“She also chose to continue being horrible to everyone even after Ladybug gave her a second chance.” Nathaniel added, bitterly. “She didn’t get better after becoming Queen Bee. It just became another thing for her to lord over people.”

Alya nodded. “And when Ladybug made it clear to her that she wasn’t going to be Queen Bee again, she felt ENTITLED to something that was never hers in the first place. And because of that, she made the active, knowing, and willful choice to work with Hawk Moth.”

“And out all of us while she was at it.” Kim added. “Turning us into her personal ‘guard’. Making us fight our heroes against our will.” He shuddered. “I don’t know if you were hit by those things, Adrien, but it was NOT a pleasant experience having your body turned into a puppet.”

Adrien wanted to argue that he understood full well, but that was only as Chat. He couldn’t say that here.

Unaware of his inner turmoil, Alya continued. “So no, we are not going to forgive Chloe. We are not going to try and ‘get along’ with her because her own poor choices have led her to have a ‘rough time’.”

Adrien grew nervous at the way the others drew closer to Alya as she spoke, clearly backing her statements as she continued.

“We are not going to defend her or speak up on her behalf to the entirety of Paris she ALSO betrayed. Whatever consequences Chloe has to face—quite possibly the first ones she will EVER have faced in her LIFE—are nothing less than what she deserves.”

“Yeah!” Came the exclamations from the rest of the crowd.

“She didn’t know what she was doing!” Adrien argued.

“Not know what she was doing?! Adrien, she willingly accepted an akuma! She used it to take control of us and revealed us to Hawk Moth!” Alya exclaimed. “That’s just—how can you even justify that?”

With as angry as Alya was, any lesser or wiser man would have backed off.

Adrien…well, she certainly would never call him unwise, so it had to be because he was more strong-willed than that to be willing to stand his ground here.

“Hawk Moth was the one who manipulated Chloe!” He insisted. “And he’s the one who got away scott free and left Chloe to take the fall.”

“And whose fault was that?” Alya countered. “Chloe HELPED him. He only got as far as he did because of her and he only got away because she helped him!”

“Don’t you think this is cruel?” He argued back. “Yes, Chloe was wrong, but she was already called out for what she did by Ladybug and Chat Noir. The entire city hates her. Isn’t that enough?”

“NO!” Alya shouted. “No, it isn’t! Because Chloe has always gotten away with her antics in the past but you’re actually trying to get us to let Chloe off for a legitimate crime here! If Chloe is going to prison, it’s only because she deserves it!”

Around them, several of the others in the class nodded in agreement.

“How can you say that?” Adrien demanded. “Chloe made a mistake and she’s suffering for it! All this time, she’s felt left out and cut off and this only further emphasizes that for her! She’s been alone all this time and now she’s alone and miserable!”

“Then why should that be OUR problem?” Alya questioned, raising her hands in exasperation. “Why are you trying to MAKE it our problem?!”

Adrien drew back, looking genuinely hurt.

"But treating someone badly never made them become a good person."

"Yeah, because letting Chloe have her way all this time has totally made strides in her path to becoming a good person." Alix called out sarcastically.

"If anything, it's made her worse." Max added. "She's gone from simply causing akumas to intentionally becoming one."

“But—”

Alya cut him off. “But nothing, Adrien! You have to have some gall to be trying to get us to make nice with Chloe after she betrayed us all! And here I thought your little lecture to Marinette to make her feel bad for being relieved that Chloe was leaving Paris was pretty hard to beat.”

Nino blanched at that. “You did what?” He turned on Adrien. “Dude! You know that happened after Chloe tried to crash that train!”

“She was just trying to prove herself.” Adrien weakly argued.

“PEOPLE were on there!” Nino bit out. “They could have DIED because Chloe was showing off! And you got on to MARINETTE? Where was this attitude with Chloe?”

“I’ve called her out!”

“Yeah, one time.” Alya groused. “AFTER the rest of us had spent the better part of the day cleaning up after HER mess. Which she never apologized for or admitted to doing, by the way.”

“And in response, she threw a party.” Juleka muttered.

“It was a nice party, sure.” Rose added quickly.

Alya though shook her head. “But being a good hostess is nowhere near the same thing as being a good person. And before the night was over, you rolled over for her and she went RIGHT back to acting as she always had.”

“She made Mylene cry.” Ivan glared. “She made Mylene cry and you just laughed.”

“I didn’t mean—”

“You said it yourself: ‘she’ll never change’. Except you said that like it was a good thing.”

Marinette looked back and forth between the two, everything inside her screaming at her to help. But she was completely lost on which one she was supposed to help. Because Adrien had a point about what Chloe’s going through but Alya was right about what Chloe did and she needed to do the “right thing” and help Chloe but why did everything Alya say resonate so strongly with her and bring such a feeling of vindication—

No. She was getting distracted. She needed to help. And right now, it was Adrien against the rest of the class.

But Alya was worked up. And Adrien was looking past her to Marinette, eyes begging for help and still so hopeful that she would step in. And Chloe was still in prison and Marinette could fix everything if she just tried so why can’t she try?

“Alya,” Marinette tried. “You told me to give Chloe a chance before after the fire alarm incident, remember? You said we were a lot alike.”

“That was to get you to go to a party!” Alya shouted, making Marinette step back in surprise. “I never meant it like this!”

She stepped forward and took Marinette by the shoulders, holding her sternly.

“Marinette, you are nothing like Chloe! Not where it counts! Yeah, you both can be short sighted when it comes to trying for what you want, but you at least notice and CARE how other people feel! And when you make a mistake, you at least TRY to make it right!”

She shook her head.

“Chloe…doesn’t.”

“She doesn’t try to.” Alix cut in. “If Chloe was feeling sad and lonely, that was pretty much her own fault.”

Adrien looked like he wanted to argue, but Alix didn’t even give him a chance.

“It wasn’t like we left her out. We went well out of our way to try and befriend her. We invited her to things. We tried to help her. Hell, you said it yourself—Marinette has tried to help her more than anybody! And each and every time, Chloe only took what we offered like it was something we owed her but that she was also too good for. I mean, I certainly can’t recall a time she ever thanked me. Can you?” She asked, turning to the other classmates.

All around them, there were murmurs of agreement. Maybe a couple hesitated as they tried to recall a time—one single moment of kindness on Chloe’s part only to come up empty.

“Chloe’s had a hard time.” Adrien insisted. “You know how her parents are—”

“Oh yes, her ‘Daddy the Mayor’.” Alix rolled her eyes. “Like we don’t hear enough about him every time it comes to something Chloe wants. She only threatens us or anyone with him every other day.”

Adrien shook his head and tried to explain. “It’s only because her parents aren’t there for her emotionally.”

“Again, not seeing how this is our problem? Or justification for anything she’s done to us? Or how this excuses her willingly helping a supervillain?”

“Because we’re her classmates!” He argued back, gesturing to all of them. “Out of everyone, we’ve all had the most interactions with her.”

“All of which were negative.” Came a cutting remark, followed by grumbling.

“There were good times, too!” Adrien insisted with a frown. His eyes spanned over the assembled classmates before they came to rest on one in particular. “Kim, you have to have seen Chloe’s good side. You liked her before.”

“Before.” Kim replied, emphasizing the word and the timeframe it referred to. “But being humiliated and her sending out that pic to everyone in school kind of crushed that crush.”

“How did she even have our numbers?” Ivan asked.

“But there had to be something that made you like her in the first place.” Adrien encouraged.

The taller boy shrugged, uncertain and uncaring. “Maybe so, but was it something that was really there? Or something I just wanted to see? Because I’m looking back and quite frankly, I don’t know what past me was thinking.”

“Wow, that’s deep, man.” Nathaniel whispered.

“Thanks!”

Seeing Nathaniel gave Adrien an idea. “Wait, Nathaniel! Didn’t Chloe let you put her in your comic?”

“Forced us to, more like.” The artist bit back. “And even when we tried to fit her, we got nothing but complaints from her. It was no wonder we never got past the initial concept art for her character.”

Adrien winced. “It was an attempt, at least?”

Nathaniel wasn’t buying it. “A poor one.”

“She’s been trying to be better.” Adrien was getting increasingly frustrated. This was not how he was expecting this argument to go. “Rose? What about you? You’ve seen it, haven’t you?”

After all, Rose was sweet and caring, always willing to see the good in anyone. Surely she would have something nice about Chloe!

Juleka frowned at him over his focus on her girlfriend and moved to stand beside her. “Don’t push her.”

Still he tried.

“Rose?”

“I’m sorry, Adrien.” Rose said, hugging herself. “But Chloe has done nothing but hurt people. And going out of our way to protect her has only ended up biting us.”

That wasn’t true. Not...all the time at least. There had to have been at least one instance where she did the right thing!

Adrien brightened in realization. “Didn’t she catch you when you fell after being deakumatized during Heroes Day?”

The blonde girl frowned. “Well, yes…but she wasn’t very nice about it. Even though I did the same for her before.”

“Rose, come on…”

She shook her head. “I put myself at risk to help Chloe when she was being chased by zombies, and only got turned into one for my efforts. Chloe never appreciated it. She never thanked me. She didn’t even do anything to help when we were trying to keep her safe!”

“We all ended up kissing zombies because of her.” Alix accused, crossing her arms and looking particularly annoyed. “And not just because she caused the akuma in the first place.”

“Why are you pushing this?” Mylene asked. “We’ve been asked. We said no. Isn’t that enough?”

“But—”

“Adrien, you’ve got a good heart.” Ivan started.

“Easy for him when he’s not the one who has to be on the receiving end of Chloe’s tantrums.” Alix cut in, clearly sounding bitter.

“You’ve got a good heart.” Ivan repeated, sending Alix a look that asked her to back off. “But Chloe…doesn’t.”

Adrien shook his head, remaining insistent. “That’s why she needs help.”

“If she needs help,” Mylene spoke, “It should come from her parents. Her teachers. Any of the adults in her life. She has plenty of adults who are fully capable of helping her. It should not be expected to come from the kids she’s spent years tormenting.”

She gestured to herself and the others around her. “And that’s what she’s been doing: tormenting us.”

“To great joy, might I add.” Max droned.

“She hasn’t been cruel to everyone.” Adrien muttered.

That brought out a backlash of outrage.

“She outted my crush!”

“She insulted Mylene’s cooking and made her cry!”

“She got Aurore akumatized and nearly caused Paris to be incinerated in a volcano!”

“She tried to push Mylene out of the lead role of our movie!”

“She locked Juleka in the restroom!”

Wait...

But that hadn’t been Chloe. She had stayed with the class at the time. The one who did do it was...

He glanced around until he saw her—a redhead in the background behind the rest of the class. She looked anxious and uncomfortable, and almost seemed to be trying to edge around the class to get to the stairs.

Adrien did seem aware. Or rather, he was focused on the fact she was there.

“Sabrina? What about you? Chloe was your friend!”

Of course she would help! Because who better than her own best friend to speak on her behalf?

The rest of the class broke into mutters as they realized the same.

But Sabrina...bit her lip and looked away. Refusing to even meet Adrien’s gaze.

“Sabrina?” Marinette tried, concerned about this reaction. Sabrina had been Chloe’s best friend—or at least the closest thing she could have to a friend. “Minion” or “Servant” would be more accurate. “Slave” would be more honest.

The girl had been Chloe’s only real fan and follower, and had assisted Chloe in some of her worst plots.

Marinette had briefly seen another side to her. A girl who was so desperate for friendship that she latched onto even the slightest bit of kindness and went to the greatest of extremes to appease the “friend” so they wouldn’t leave her. It was no wonder she had fallen in with Chloe—someone like that was perfect for the spoiled girl. Compared to her, Marinette’s anxieties and need to please were nothing.

And Chloe had pretty much been her world for years.

What must she be feeling now?

“Should we really be getting her opinion?” Ivan whispered. “You know how she and Chloe were…”

“Well, if anyone would have anything positive to tell the courts about Chloe, it would be her.” Mylene whispered back.

Sabrina took a breath and spoke quickly—almost shouting in her rush.

“I’m sorry but my therapist said I shouldn’t!”

That got a surprise. The rest of the classmates glanced to each other before looking back to the girl. Adrien in particular looked shell-shocked. Marinette couldn’t blame him. She felt the same.

Sabrina for her part seemed to tense up, as if ready to defend herself from the rest of the class.

Marinette stepped forward. “Sabrina? Are…you okay?”

The other girl shook her head, looking close to tears.

“After word got out what Chloe did, the police had to question me about Chloe. They were able to see that I wasn’t involved, but they…didn’t like what I told them about our relationship. Afterwards, my dad decided to have me see a counselor and she…has been telling me things that I hadn’t really considered.” She curled in on herself. “They all think I should stay away from Chloe and anything directly related to her…for my own health.”

Adrien frowned at that. “But don’t you want to help Chloe?”

Sabrina jumped. “Of course, I do!”

“Hold up, Adrien!” Nino stepped in. “She just said police took her in because of Chloe!”

“But they let her go…”

“It still happened!” Mylene argued. “It doesn’t matter how nice they are, how innocent you know you are, or if you’re released in the end, it’s still terrifying when it happens!”

"And it only happened to her because of Chloe." Alya added.

Rose, in her infinite sweetness, reached out to take Sabrina’s hand in support. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”

Sabrina sobbed and covered her face. Aside from Rose, no one else really attempted to comfort her. Most of them simply watched her, pitying her current state. But they also remembered how complicit she had been in Chloe’s schemes, so they were conflicted. While they did feel bad for her current situation, there was a part of most of them that noted how she had brought it upon herself by being Chloe‘s lackey for so long, so their sympathy was limited.

Perhaps it was out of awkwardness, or maybe an attempt to give some respect for Sabrina’s privacy that the classmates turned away from her and instead focused on the heart of the argument.

“Man...” Nino tried. “Maybe you should let it go?” Though it was clear from his tone that he knew it wasn’t likely.

Because Adrien had still not given up, it seemed.

He looked around between of the classmates, growing more desperate. But those that remained either looked at him straight on as if daring him to call on them or looked away. A few of them even closed ranks as if to block his view of certain others. It was clear none of them were willing to help him on this.

None of them except…

“Marinette.” He called out, drawing her gaze to him instantly. “You understand, don’t you?”

She bit her lip. “I…”

“Back off, Adrien.” Kim said, giving the other boy an angry frown as he stood in front of her to shield her from his gaze. “It’s not on Marinette to help Chloe.”

“Yeah! She suffered more than any of us!“ Ivan shouted.

“She has been Chloe’s main target for years.” Nathaniel agreed. “She is the last person who is obligated to help Chloe now.“

Adrien winced at the harshness of their words and in their tone. “I just thought that Marinette could help. Like before.”

“Just because she could doesn’t mean she should have had to.” Alya countered. “She’s a teenager. Dealing with Chloe should have been the job of adults. Her parents. Bustier. Damocles. Any one of them should have done something—and if they can’t, the courts will. It’s their job. Not ours.”

“And getting her to help you wouldn’t make a difference anyway even if you had convinced us.” Max said, shifting his glasses. “Chloe helped Hawk Moth. There is nothing we could say that could undo that. And even if we did try, we would either be guilty of committing perjury or aiding in a conspiracy.”

“What?” Adrien jerked in surprise.

“The best we can do is be character witnesses.” Mylene explained. “But this is a court and we can’t claim something that isn’t true! We can’t say anything nice about Chloe when she hasn’t done anything nice!”

Max nodded and shifted his glasses. “Furthermore, our testimonies—even if they were positive—would only serve to create a narrative about Chloe and the type of person she is. They can’t explain away the current evidence against her.”

He rubbed the back of his head. He knew there were issues, but he also knew Chloe. He knew what she could be like. He knew she was a good person deep down. “I know she’s made some mistakes—”

“No.” Alya stated sharply. “Calling them ‘Mistakes’ implies that her actions were unintentional. ‘Mistakes’ implies that people were harmed by accident. ‘Mistakes’ implies that she would have any point learned from them. They weren’t mistakes, Adrien. They were willful acts of cruelty every single time.”

Ivan shook his head, pityingly. “We can’t save Chloe from this. We have nothing to say in her defense. The kindest thing we can do for her is stay silent.”

“She’s better than you think she is. She threw that party once for everyone, remember? You all went.” Adrien reminded them.

“That only proved that she could throw a party and be a good host, not that she could be a good person. There is a difference.” Nathaniel pointed out.

“Not that Chloe could tell.“ Alix sniped.

Adrien ignored the barb. He had given up on getting any of them to listen and now only had eyes for her. His last hope.

“Marinette….come on…please.”

She hesitated.

Everything in her that was Ladybug and her crush on Adrien and her desire to make people happy and take the high road and give second-third-fourth chances wanted nothing more than to give it to him.

Except...

There was a long pause. No one spoke.

The other classmates have had their say. They were letting Marinette have hers. And she knew in that moment that if she spoke up…if she did as Adrien wished and tried to help Chloe…she knew they would go along with her. It may be more out of respect for Marinette than it would be out of any sort of forgiveness for anything Chloe had done, but it would still help Chloe and it would still make Adrien happy.

…and hadn’t Marinette already done that enough?

“Did you know?” Marinette started, not looking at anyone. “I would have been well within my rights to press charges against Chloe?”

Adrien balked at that.

“She’s stolen from me at least three times now.” She shrugged. “I mean, sure, I wouldn’t have been able to do anything about my diary since she had Sabrina steal it for her, but she did steal my hat design for a competition and I had proof. I could have pressed charges against Chloe and let her face some consequences…but I didn’t.”

She looked up at Adrien. “I also could have pressed charges for what she did to my gift for Madame Bustier. Since she did break into my locker and vandalize my property while it was still technically mine…but I didn’t.

“Adrien.” She spoke almost in monotone, the only sign of her emotions being how she clenched her fists. “Did you know that after the fashion show, my parents and I took a train to get home?”

He furrowed his brows in confusion. What did that have to do with anything?

“It was the same train Chloe took control of and nearly caused to crash.”

Several gasps resounded around them. Apparently this had not been common knowledge.

“Even if Chloe could have bought her way out of any consequence for the other things, we all could certainly have had her face some major trouble for that one…” Marinette took a shuddering breath. “But we didn’t.”

Adrien frowned. “I…I see that—”

“No, I don’t think you do.” She cut him off. “Because instead of any of that…rather than hold Chloe accountable at any point, I catered to her. I tried to understand Chloe. I tried to make things nicer for Chloe. I tried to excuse Chloe. Time and again. Just like everyone else. Just like you wanted me to. Just like you’re asking me to now. And what did that get us?”

The more she talked, the more words filled out and she was unable to stop the torrent.

“I defended her from Alya after Madame Bustier was akumatized, and Chloe stole a Miraculous and nearly got my family killed. I helped Chloe bond with her Mom—costing myself any chance at a once in a lifetime opportunity in the process—and Chloe tried to get me banished from Paris just for saying she wasn’t a superhero. I threw Chloe a party to show her some appreciation, and she willingly worked with a supervillain to take over Paris. Just to fuel her ego and because she felt she was owed something that wasn’t hers.”

She tilted her head, considering.

“What is that American saying? Three strikes and you’re out?” Her eyes narrowed. “I have given Chloe more than three chances. I have done nothing BUT give her chances. And clean up after her. And just…try to help her. At no point has she been grateful. At no point did she ever apologize. Or show the slightest bit of remorse for anyone she hurt. Or just…try to do better.”

She stepped forward. Past her classmates. Past Alya, who looked ready to tear into Adrien herself.

“So tell me, Adrien. How much more am I supposed to do? What miracle am I supposed to achieve to help Chloe to be a better person that I haven’t already done?”

“You can just try.” Adrien begged. “Chloe’s alone. She has no one in her corner. You’ve given her chances before! Can’t you find it in your heart to give her another chance this time?”

“Why haven’t you?” Alya demanded.

Adrien drew back in surprise at that.

But the girl wasn’t letting him off. “If you’re so certain Chloe is the victim in all this, then why aren’t you stepping up to help her? Why are you pushing Marinette and the rest of us to do it?”

Alya wrapped an arm around Marinette in support. “If you truly believe Chloe has some sort of inner goodness that only needs the right person to bring it out, then it’s pretty clear Marinette is just not that person. She’s tried enough.”

Alix nodded. “I’m pretty sure she could’ve demolished a brick wall with how many time she’s banged her head against it by this point trying to drag a decent person out of Chloe.”

Others in the class also nodded and gave sounds of agreement to that.

Adrien frowned, lowering his head despondently. “I’m just one person. There’s only so much weight my word will have. I just...I just want to give her the best chance.”

“That’s nice for Chloe, I guess.” Kim muttered. “But not much for us.”

Adrien looked up in surprise. “What do you mean?”

Alya stepped forward, releasing Marinette in the process. “Adrien, why should we as Chloe’s victims have to help protect her? That’s the thing we’re not getting here. WE are the ones she hurt. WE are the ones she betrayed to Hawk Moth. So why are WE supposed to try and save her from her own consequences? Why are you wanting us to?”

Adrien hesitated.

“Can you even imagine what it was like? Being frozen in time. Unable to move or speak? Only able to hear her voice in your head? Feeling your body respond as she’s calling you and being unable to stop?” She clutched her arms, as if trying to hug herself. “Do you have any idea how terrified I was knowing what she was doing to us but being completely unable to stop it? How humiliating it was when she had us bowing to her and calling her our Queen? And then…” She took a breath. “She made us fight our heroes. Ladybug and Chat Noir trusted us to help them and we used the Miraculous they entrusted to us to try and kill them.”

“We were just lucky that they were able to turn the tables on us.” Kim muttered. “I don’t even want to know what would have happened if we had won.”

“Luka still has nightmares.” Juleka whispered. “He won’t talk about it, but he hasn’t had a good night’s sleep in weeks.”

Marinette winced. She hadn’t even considered that everyone else could be suffering ramifications of Miracle Queen as well.

“We could have killed them.” Max stated. “Given the nature of the Snake Miraculous’s power, we very well could have more than once for all we know.”

“Maybe you wouldn’t have killed them?” Rose suggested, trying to be positive. “I mean, Chloe wanted all of the Miraculous, right? She probably wanted them as her servants as well.”

Max glared. “I’m pretty sure I attempted to send Chat Noir into space. Even a Miraculous can’t protect someone from that.”

Adrien tried not to wince at the memory. How he managed to even move enough to activate the Miraculous, he still wasn’t sure.

“We fought against them. We never wanted to, but we did.” Alya bit out. “Not even because of Hawk Moth this time, but because of Chloe. And now you are wanting us to just…overlook the trauma of the whole thing to help Chloe after what she did. For something she hasn’t shown even the slightest remorse for.”

She shook her head.

“I know you’re nice, Adrien. But this level of kindness is a cruelty.”

He winced. And it looked like he wanted to argue. But he just…wilted.

“I just…it feels harsh. What’s happening to her. The amount of hate she’s getting. That her entire life could be over.”

That was true. While they felt her current status was well deserved, it was a harsh sentence for anyone. Especially a teenager.

Nathaniel sighed. “Adrien, it is harsh. Maybe cruel. But fact is that she still brought on herself.”

“Isn’t that just victim-blaming though?” Adrien countered, frustrated now. “I mean, Hawk Moth manipulated her! How was that her fault? He’s the one who did it. She was…” He clenched his fists in anger. “Chloe is a victim.”

“No, we are the victims.” Alya insisted, gesturing to herself and the other revealed former heroes. “We were the ones used to fight our heroes. We were the ones who had our identities revealed to the world against our will. And now we are the ones having to live with the results of Chloe‘s choices, just like we always are.“

Adrien looked ready to argue. And maybe he would have, except...

Nino rested a hand on Adrien’s shoulder.

“Adrien. Dude. Just stop. We have enough to deal with and this…this isn’t helping.”

Adrien frowned at that, concerned by his friend’s attitude. “Nino?”

Nino lowered his head. “I wasn’t going to say anything. Really, I was trying not to think about it. But my parents are currently talking with police about their options. Now that I’ve been exposed as one of the temporary heroes, they’re questioning if it’s not safe for us at home anymore. There is a chance of us having to go into protective custody.”

Alya winced at that, drawing attention to her. “My parents have been talking as well. My mom quit her job. She said she doesn’t want to work for someone who would let their daughter do such a thing and put me in danger. She’s looking at drawing me out of school since it was pretty much Chloe‘s base of operations. And since Chloe is the Mayor’s daughter…and Hawk Moth…and just…everything?” She looked away, clearly anxious.

“There’s a chance we may have to move out of Paris altogether.”

Marinette gasped.

Alya looked to the other girl, sad and guilty all in one. “I’m sorry, girl. I guess I’ve been hoping it wouldn’t be an issue. I’ve been trying to talk them out of it, but it’s hard given everything that happened. Currently, the only reason they’re willing to stay is to see through to the end of the trial. But after that…” She shrugged, shaking her head uncertainly. “Who can say?”

“No…” Adrien whispered in shock.

The others in class came closer around her, trying to offer some comfort and reassurances—what little they could give, at least. This was a situation that was clearly beyond them. Marinette herself hugged Alya tightly for all she was worth, and the other girl held her back just as much, neither wanting to be parted.

Adrien, however, remained on the outside looking in. Watching the people Chloe had tormented even before Miracle Queen and realizing just how badly they’ve been hurt by this. It hit him then—for what was perhaps the first time just how much pain Chloe had caused his friends. And how unfair he had been to expect them to simply deal with it.

He stayed the lone person outside of the circle. By this point, did he really deserve to join in the comfort? To try to be the one to give comfort? After what he had tried to push on them all?

After minutes passed, they were finally able to draw away from each other.

“I’m sorry for not saying anything sooner.” Alya told Marinette. “I guess I was just hoping…y’know…that it wasn’t real. Or that it would go away and things would work out on their own.”

Marinette smiled. “No, I understand.”

And she did. That’s exactly what she herself had been doing for the past few weeks as well. Trying to deal with things without really dealing with them. Working without acknowledging just what it all meant because she was scared she would break down and that would be just one more thing Hawk Moth would have won because of this whole mess.

“I was kind of the same way.” She admitted, and it felt like a slight relief to be able to say aloud to someone. “I’m sorry I couldn’t talk to you about it.”

She still couldn’t, unfortunately. Not about Ladybug and the kwamis and the Miracle Box.

But…she could talk about Fu. How she lost him. How she feels. She could help support Alya and her classmates and be there for them in the meantime.

She…hadn’t lost everything.

Not yet.

And that was the scary thing…

Adrien gaped at the group. He had thought the trauma was bad enough, and that at least could be worked through. But this...

“I’m sorry. I...I didn’t even realize...”

“Adrien, what Chloe did put a major target on our backs.” Alya explained. “Nobody knows how we became heroes, or that Ladybug was the one to specifically choose us and give us the miraculous to use. Nobody knows WHY we were chosen. It’s not just Hawk Moth, any regular criminal can come after us now in an attempt to get a hold of that power. And we can’t exactly protect ourselves.”

She shrugged helplessly.

“We kind of have enough to worry about with the fallout of Chloe‘s actions. And now you want us to try and protect Chloe on top of that?“

Seeing it now, in this light...it was cruel. It was cruel and unfair and hurtful, and Marinette felt horrible for considering letting herself be talked into it.

Adrien himself felt horrible for even suggesting it.

“We all have to live with the consequences of Chloe’s choices.” Alya stated. “So why shouldn’t she?”

Silence followed. It practically echoed throughout the entire hallway.

He said nothing in response. What could he possibly say? He’d known that Chloe was…difficult with other people, to say the least. He’d known the type of person she was. But she was his friend and friends forgive and support each other, right?

But they were right as well. It wasn’t fair to expect them to help Chloe after what she did. Especially once he knew of the level of harm she’d caused them. He felt the horror trickle in. The trauma everyone felt. The knowledge of what they’d been forced to do. The fact that…

He suddenly found it harder to breathe.

Nino could leave.

Adrien could lose his best friend because of this.

And who knew how many of the others would be forced to leave as well. Aside from Nino; Kim, Max, Alya, and Luka were other heroes as well. Juleka was Luka’s sister. And how many of the other classmates might be pulled out of this class and school because it’s unsafe? And Kagami—oh god, she was outted as well. He hadn’t heard from her in a while. Her mother is probably furious. She could move back to Japan because of this. And Marinette…she had been lucky to not be caught up in that fight since she was a hero only the one time, but that could have been just one more thing Chloe ruined for her…

…what about himself?

He paled.

He was longtime friends with Chloe. Went to school with Chloe. Was in class with Chloe. Chloe, who was currently getting a lot of heat from all of Paris. How was his Father going to react to that? The man was always focused on the company and appearances…what would he do now that Chloe had fallen from grace in such a way? Would he forbid Adrien from talking to Chloe again? Would he pull Adrien from school?

…would he ban Adrien from leaving the house altogether?

How was he only just now considering the impact? For himself or anyone else? Of course people would be hurt. Of course they would be upset. Of course people would respond. Somehow, he knew that, and yet he had only been focused on Chloe that it hadn’t actually hit home until now…

And in that light…

It had been selfish to ask. Honestly, he’d known that when he first tried to approach Marinette. But he felt he had to try. Honestly, part of him had known better than to ask in the first place. But at the same time…there was a part of him that still believed things could just go back to “normal”.

…how foolish. That was a “normal” that nobody else wanted. And even more, it was one that was now impossible…all because of Chloe herself.

“I just wanted to help.”

He deflated, losing all remaining fight.

“I’m sorry.”

The classmates glanced between each other. There was much they could have said, but really, anything they could have said already had been. And with him seeming resigned, it appeared there was no longer a need to defend themselves.

Marinette—ever the mediator, stepped up and hugged Adrien.

“Adrien, this isn’t something you can help with. None of us can. What happens in the trial is up to the courts. And what happens to Chloe is up to her.”

Slowly, he reached up and hugged her as well. The warmth and comfort brought some limited solace in this situation. He felt lost. Out of control. Like the world was moving around him and he didn’t know where he was standing much less where he was supposed to be.

They weren’t ready to forgive Chloe. And he couldn’t force them to be. Given the circumstances, he couldn’t blame them. And it was really unfair of him to try. Especially…

“I’m sorry, Marinette.” He whispered to her.

He had tried to use her. Looking back, he had a bit of a tendency to rely on Marinette to fix things when she shouldn’t have had to. Especially when it was for Chloe’s sake. He knew plenty of times Chloe had done things…but he always seemed to overlook how hurt Marinette was because of it, simply due to how well she always appeared afterwards. She was strong and confident, but also a good listener and willing to forgive. It was like nothing really brought her down.

It was due to this that Marinette was often the one he turned to whenever things happened. Because she would listen. She would understand. And she would always try to help, regardless of her position.

In this light…he may have over relied on her too much.

“I wasn’t fair to you.” He admitted. “I just saw Chloe hurting and only thought about how to fix things for her. I didn’t consider your feelings.” He hugged her more strongly. “I’m sorry.”

She didn’t speak. But she squeezed him back.

He felt another body press against him. A quick glance showed it to be Nino.

“I’m still super mad with her. And I don’t like how you tried to push us to defend her after what she did. But I get that she’s your friend and you care about her. I’d do the same if it were you in her place.” He gave a small laugh. “Not that I think you ever would, of course.”

Adrien smiled back. “Thanks.”

This…this felt much better.

Things weren’t okay right now. He still wanted to help Chloe. His classmates were still hurt. People were still angry. Hawk Moth was still out there.

But whatever happened...in this moment, he felt they could make it.

[nevertheless-moving]

Suicidal Misunderstanding XX

Part I - - - - - - - - - - Part XVII - - - - Part XVIII - - - - Part XIX

Star Wars Time Travel AU #27

“I want you to understand that what we’re going to ask of you is entirely beyond the scope of duty and therefore completely voluntary. You are more than free to refuse participation, at any point, with absolutely no consequences.”

Deep within the Healing Halls best-kept medical secret, Eights quelled beneath the full might of the GAR’s highest and most lauded Generals. Yeah I’m sure whatever they ask I’m going to want to say no. Honestly, what kind of soldiers have they been working with?

“What can I do to help, sir? Sirs?”

“I know this might be shocking, but we have reason to believe the GAR is...compromised.”

“Sir?”

Eights thought furiously. This wasn’t about the healers who were hiding them, or the Jedi his battalion never received, or the decommissioning he had escaped. This was bigger.

The General Windu spoke calmly, “We suspect that you may have been trained or conditioned at some point without your knowledge to unquestioningly follow orders, orders that would usually be beyond what you would typically obey. With your permission, we’d like to try and activate that order in a restrained environment in order to gain more information, with the hope of finding a way to help the troops resist.”

“I’m sorry, sir. I don’t understand. You’re just going to give me an order and ask me...not to obey it?”

General Koon nodded (General Koon! General Koon and General Windu were talking to him at the same time!). “In a manner of speaking, yes. But it’s possible that the order will do more than that. The only way we believe this could possibly work” Koon glanced to the man at his side. “And we...do believe this threat is real, is if you suffer from some form of brainwashing. Activating it might cause irreparable brain damage. Activating it might damage or kill the parts of you that make you you. Even if it doesn’t- the ideal scenario is we find something- an intentionally designed tumor perhaps- and surgically remove it. And brain surgery also has its own risks.”

Eights swallowed around a lump in his throat. 

“And this is something that could be going on with...my entire batch?”

General Kenobi winced. “The entire GAR I’m afraid. Every clone.”

The General of the 212th! Commander Cody’s General was here! Talking to him! Telling him existentially terrifying ultra classified intel!

The trooper stared up from bed in disbelief. If anyone besides three of most respected generals in the entire GAR (not including Buir Ti) was telling him this he would accuse them of bantha crap fear-mongering, if not outright treason. Instead he was just...outraged.

“What would the order make me...us...do?”

Windu took a deep breath. “Attack us. Try and kill the Jedi.”

“I would never.” Eights straightened up even further. “We would never betray the Jedi- it’s- never. We were made for the Jedi and even if we weren’t- you’re the only ones who treat us with an ounce of respect.”

“No one is questioning your loyalty,” the kind Mon Cal healer (whose name he had never asked for fear of getting her in trouble if this ward was ever discovered) said, obviously trying to sooth him. She spoke with heart-breaking earnestness. “The fact that you would never choose to obey such a command just makes the possibility of something forcing you to do so that much more horrifying.”

“How would something like that even get in our heads? The longnecks designed us to serve the Jedi, why... I’m sorry Generals. I didn’t mean to get out of line.”

“No need to apologize. You have every right to be angry about this intrusion, as well as any number of things,” General Kenobi reassured him, smiling sadly. “We don’t know to what extent the Kaminoans are involved with this plot. Not precisely.”

Eights nodded, clenching his one remaining fist. “I’ll do it. Whatever you need from me. I can’t let my brothers have something this big looming over them without any intel.” I’m not exactly front-lines material anymore anyway.

“Are you sure?” Mace Windu’s eyes seemed to stare into his soul. Eights stared right back.

“I am. When do we start?”

It didn’t take long to shave the soldier and connect a number of glowing vital readers to his skull. He was ushered into a chambered observation room with what appeared to be a sfaraday cage hastily built around it. 

“Alright, whenever you’re ready.” Bant (Master Eerin apparently, but she told him to call her Bant) said.

“I’m ready, sir.”

“Let’s start off small, see if we can learn anything without fully activating the order.”

General Kenobi took in a deep breath. He looked calm, but Jedi always did. The General took in another breath. Kriff, two deep breaths. That’s Jedi for freaking out, isn’t it? Right?

Fuck.

“Does Order 66 mean anything to you?” General Kenobi braced himself, staring intently at the trooper in his seat. 

Eights wracked his brain furiously. Sixty-Six...that was...

“It’s...a little familiar? Sorry sir, I feel like I’ve heard it somewhere but...I can’t recall.”

“That’s perfectly alright trooper, not to worry.”

A Twilek healer he didn’t recognize spoke into a micomphone from the other side of a transparisteel window. “His frontal lobe might be lighting up a little, but it’s nothing abnormal, and not enough to triangulate for anything intrusive.”

After several variations on the same question as well as a number of scans of different ‘levels,’ the questioning escalated to orders, as well an extremely uncomfortable mock fight that he would probably tell his grandchildren about, provided he survived today, and also was allowed to have grandchildren.

Still, Eights couldn’t quite recall ever learning an Order 66 and was starting to relax, thinking the whole thing was some sort of horrible separatist lie.

They left him alone for an uncertain amount of time before returning with-

“Quickdraw?!” Eights jumped up at the sight of his commanding officer arriving via hoverchair, nervously saluting with his left hand.”I didn’t know you were here!”

“Just got out of bacta. My spine’s not quite what it used to be after the blast,” the lieutenant responded wryly. “At ease, Eights.”

“Our apologies again for waking you prematurely,” General Koon said softly.

Quickdraw waved the General off. “I’m honored you did. For something as serious this- well I’d hardly forgive myself if I just slept through it.”

Quickdraw locked eyes with Eights. “I’m supposed to try giving you ‘the order’ now- General Kenobi suspects that as your superior officer, I might be authorized to trigger whatever the hell the longnecks put in our heads.”

Eights swallowed hard. “The longnecks, sir?”

“Who else?” Quickdraw asked in a tone drier than Jakku. He spun in the chair to face General Koon. “How are we doing this?”

After a brief discussion, the troopers ended up on opposite sides of a sound-proof transparisteel divider, an comm channel open between them. Eights plugged his ears and gave the order first. And giving Quickdraw an order was almost but not quite as weird as giving an order that would apparently make him try and kill Jedi.

Nothing happened and they swapped, this time with Quickdraw using a waxy covering to block his hearing.

His lieutenant stared at him straight through the clear divider and ordered him to execute Order 66. This time he finally remembered his training, and realized he was woefully outgunned. Oh well, he was a good soldier.

Eights stood up. The only visible change in his expression was a widening of his pupils. There was no malicious intent palpable in the force- he didn’t even look angry- just determined.

He lunged at the Jedi next to him, only to hit an invisible wall. He threw himself at the barrier desperately while the traitor backed out of the room and escaped. The wall finally dropped, but it was too late, he was locked in.

Sighing, he picked up the chair with his one good arm, slamming it repeatedly at the door frame. Good soldiers follow orders.

On the other side of the observation window, Quickdraw stumbled back horrified, reaching for his ears before hesitating. General Koon softly tapped his shoulder and indicated they should leave. 

“I’ve got a location.” Master Che said quietly as the lieutenant was ushered into an antechamber and the activated trooper continued to beat at the door. “It’s a small but clear patch lit up like the festival of lights- I don’t know why it didn’t turn up in scans but...I’m as confident as I can be. Worst case- it’s a small enough area that removing the grey matter shouldn’t...well it won’t kill him. It’s enough to go on for microscapel surgery.” General Koon nodded, then tilted forward, weight falling heavily in his palms on the counter before him.

Vokara rested a hand gently on his back “...I was hoping it wasn’t true as well.”

Master Koon flinched away. “I am sorry and glad to say you do not understand my feelings on the matter. I think...my apologies but I need some time to meditate.”

“Of course.”

Koon rushed out. After a moment Master Windu stepped in, radiating similar distress as Master Koon. Master Kenobi followed, looking grim but also happy. 

‘Oh I’m glad Koon isn’t around him right now,’ Healer Che thought wryly.

Perhaps sensing the mood, Obi-Wan sobered. 

“I’m sorry it’s just- I didn’t actually see the order get activated. Of course I believed it wasn’t a choice- and I’m obviously not glad that anyone’s will could be taken so easily-”

“You don’t have to explain anymore,” Mace offered quietly. “I can understand why seeing this would be something of a relief, all things considered.”

The Head Healer nodded in agreement before taking charge. “Kenobi, go in with Eerin and help her sedate him. I’ll prepare for surgery.”

“Wait- shouldn’t we try other permutations first? It’s possible that once activated, a clone might be able to order a superior officer-”

“And it’s also possible that if a lieutenant is activated, the entire army will turn,” Mace snapped. Obi-Wan bent his head, chastised. 

“Right. Yes. I’ll go- find Bant.”

An extremely long hour later, Master Che returned from surgery. Masters Mundi, Koth, and Yoda had left to and fulfill the other thousand and one duties of a council member not unravelling a Sith conspiracy at the heart of the Republic, while Master Aerdo had been dispatched to talk with Quickdraw as well as some of the other troopers in the hidden Medical bay. 

“It’s a chip,” Vokara said grimly. “Native biological material, but clearly a chip. Like you would find in a droid. Far more complex than any slave chip I’ve ever seen, and no explosive component. It would only turn up on a level five brain scan. I didn’t even think to run it before- it’s overly invasive and typically useless.”

The reduced meeting crumpled at the sight of the infinitesimally small object of control, carefully encased in a stasis slide and placed delicately on the conference table.

Proof of Obi-Wan’s future, a future that the group thought they already believed.

“We should get Master Nu,” Adi Gallia said quickly, “We’ll want our top researchers analyzing it as soon as possible.”

Koon nodded sharply. “Agreed.”

The Tholothian Master stood, “I’ll go at once- we should probably keep any mention of this off comms.”

As Master Gallia swept out of the room, Plo Koon wrenched his gaze from the stasis slide to face the healer. “Master Che, what is Eight’s status?”

“Unconscious and restrained, but he should wake up soon enough. It...might not be a bad idea to have another Jedi nearby when he does.”

Koon and Che left the room, taking the chip with them and conferring quietly.

Obi-Wan leaned forward, elbows on the table and face in his hands.

Master Windu exchanged a glance with Anakin. 

Finally Obi-Wan spoke, tentatively addressing Bant, “Could it be possible for someone...besides a clone to be chipped? If Palpatine had access to them as a child...”

Bant drew back, gaze flickering to Anakin. “I- we would have to study it more-”

Anakin interrupted, shifting in his seat. ”Master- what did I do?”

“It- it wasn’t you. It wasn’t you anymore that the person who fired on me was Cody.”

Bant exchanged a glance with Mace, before clearing her throat with a soft gurgle. “Perhaps we should leave the two of you alone to talk this through.”

The Mon Cala Healer stood and exited rapidly. Windu exchanged a glance with Skywalker before he left. “Talk through everything, understood?” Anakin nodded.

The door shut, leaving Master and Padawan alone. “I feel like I’m missing more than two and a half days,” Obi-Wan muttered wryly. “I don’t remember you three having a non-verbal communication system consisting of eye-contact alone before.”

Anakin chuckled once then immediately grew somber, picking at a loose thread in the sleeve of his robe. A thousand thoughts were swirling in his head, and he blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

“I- did I hurt you? Is that- is that why you stabbed me, you thought you were defending-”

“I did what?!” Obi-Wan paled, jumping up from his seat.

Anakin winced. “It’s nothing, that’s actually not important. I’m healed anyway so forget I mentioned it-”

Obi-Wan moaned, stumbling backwards over the fallen chair. “Of force- when you were trying to save me- I had a blade. I cut you down-” He tripped backwards, collapsing to the ground.

“Master!” Anakin lurched forwards, but the older Jedi scrambled back.

“I forgot my spray bottle in there,” Bant whispered outside the door. “Do you think it’s too late to go back for it?”

Mace peered subtly through the small window in the door. “Yes. They’re already on the ground. I think they’re both crying.”

“It’s been less than a minute!”

“Yes.”

“...We should go.”

“Yes.”

Unaware of their muffled audience, the two continued their conversation.

“Don’t- don’t touch me!” Obi-Wan gasped, back hitting a wall. “I don’t- I don’t deserve-”

The young knight reared back, falling from a crouch to his knees, “Is this...about the Tuskens again?

Obi-Wan blinked in confusion. “The Tuskens? What about Tuskens?”

“You don’t...remember?” The air grew cold and Anakin forced himself to continue, “What- what we talked about in the cave?”

“What we- I-” Obi-Wan thought furiously. “...Anakin. What did...what were you apologizing for in the cave? What- what did you think we were talking about?”

“Oh gods.” Anakin paled now, shuffling back.

“What are they doing now?” Bant asked the taller Master.

“They’re taking turns chasing each other back and forth on their hands and knees. They both look like they’re seconds away from passing out or throwing up.”

“I...is this a human thing?”

“No. What? Why would you think that?”

“I don’t know! Do you think this is how they usually talk to each other?”

“I think perhaps they don’t talk to each other, and that’s why they’re like this.”

“Right, right... I really want to hear what they’re saying.”

“Hm. I don’t.”

“Why are you also standing outside the door then?”

“I want to be ready to intervene if they start trying to kill each other.”

“FORCE”

“Quiet!”

“Sorry. Sorry. You think they fought then? In the...other timeline?”

“...It would explain Obi-Wan’s shatterpoint remnants better than anything else.”

“Not to mention the spice.”

“I thought we were politely ignoring the spice.”

“...and then I brought her back to the homestead for burial.” Anakin bowed his head, tears streaming against his will. “I thought...Master I know I can’t fix this but I’m sorry- I already stepped down from my position as General so I wouldn’t be in a position to kill anyone else- I need you to forgive me.”

“Oh Anakin.”

“What? What happened?” Bant asked urgently. 

The Master of the Order appeared unruffled in the force and human visible light, but the tips of his ears were heating up in infrared. She stood on her toes to see in.

“Oh- they’re hugging? Seriously? That’s what you’re embarrassed to see?”

“They’re clinging to each other like younglings. It’s undignified for a Jedi Master and Knight”

“Alright that’s it- we’re going. I really don’t think Anakin’s going to jump from crying and hugs to murder.”

Unaware of their newfound privacy, the two inside withdrew from their embrace, still sniffling slightly. 

“Thank you, Master,” Anakin said in a shaky tone. “I swear I won’t let you down, I’m going to do better.”

“I know, my padawan, I know. I’m going to be there to help you this time, I’m not going to leave you alone with- well I’m not going to leave you alone.”

Anakin smiled wetly at Obi-Wan’s careful avoidance of Chancellor Palpatine’s supposed Sith alter ego, refocusing on Obi-Wan and making intense eye contact.

“What did you think we were talking about?”

Obi-Wan looked down. “It doesn’t matter,” he whispered. “It- it never happened.”

“Ori’vod, please. You- you mentioned younglings. I did something else unforgivable didn’t I?”

Obi-Wan smiled but didn’t look up. “And i forgave you anyway. Even when I thought your apology was just a fantasy. But it wasn’t, it was real, and- and the people actually are unmurdered so...it’s not worth talking about it.”

Anakin bit the inside of his cheek, gut roiling. “You...really think I might have a chip in me?”

Obi-Wan’s eyes snapped up. “I...don’t know. I didn’t even know that Cody had a chip in him.”

“You just...were suddenly betrayed by everyone.” 

“Not...everyone. Most who refused to fall in line were executed, of course, but there were a few senators who stood with the Jedi, secretly.” 

A new wave of cold terror passed over Anakin. “What happened with the other senators?”

“Like I said to the council earlier, from what I heard they cheered Palpatine on. Thunderous applause.”

“That’s not what I mean- Padme, Was Padme alright?”

Obi-Wan buried his face in his hands, shuddering.

“Anakin- I don’t know what to tell you,” he said in muffled voice. “I don’t want to deceive you but- things were dark. If I tell you everything now, I’m afraid of what you’ll do.”

Anakin winced. “I don’t want you to be afraid of me. I’m not...evil. I just...I messed up, and I want to make things better.”

Obi-Wan sighed, and pulled Anakin so they were seated next to each other in a mirror of the false peace a few days earlier. Anakin leaned into his Master’s side, feeling the cold retreat. “You’re not evil Anakin, but what you did to the Tusken village wasn’t exactly a small thing. I- look- Ad’ika-”

Obi-Wan hesitantly placed an arm around Anakin’s shoulder and the cold retreated a bit more.

“If the council accepts my plan, we’re going to have time together over the next few weeks, to talk more about...everything. We’re going to end the war- save everyone. I know the cave wasn’t what either of us thought it was, but it still meant the galaxy to me. I love you, no matter what...and that conversation, what you said. Well, it gave me the strength to go on, to do what I needed to.” Obi-Wan froze. “Not my, um, self-inflected injuries- that’s- obviously that wasn’t your fault-”

“You thought you were hallucinating. I know.” Anakin smiled, feeling honestly amused at the absurdity situation for the first time. “I’m going to mock you for that for the rest of our lives, you know that, right?”

“I look forward to it.” Obi-Wan smiled.

A vise that had been clenched around Anakin’s heart since he broke down the door to their apartment finally relaxed. “You really weren’t trying to kill yourself,” he sighed happily.

“I was attempting to stay alive. Honestly concerned about dehydration. I wanted to stay in the daydream, but I knew I couldn’t. And part of that was because you gave me the strength to keep going. Sorry I did such a bad job honoring that but, well. You know. Thank you, Anakin. For saving me twice over.” Obi-Wan’s voice was utterly earnest, though it was a touch more embarrassed than he was used to after the single day of utter unrestraint. 

Anakin’s eyes welled up. “I’ve been- I hated that you would just leave like that, give up-”

“Never Anakin,” Obi-Wan vowed. “I will never give up on you, or this galaxy.”

He twisted so he could throw both arms around his padawan.

“I swear by everything I am I will keep going. It’s... in my nature but gods is it easier with you besides me.”

“Even though i’m a child murderer twice over and once removed?” Anakin joked weakly, clinging desperately to Obi-Wan’s presence.

Obi-Wan shuddered. “Too soon, Anakin. Too soon.”

Part XXI