#I go back to reality now

[deep-spacediver577]

My wretched upstair neighbors are being kicked out...

It's the best news I've heard all year!

[egophiliac]

he did it! 🐍 and it only took...uhhh...well, there probably could've been less punches, but why hold back!

PUNCHES FOR EVERYONE

[bixels]

Posting a sneak-peak of this now because I'm about to be In The Shit school workload-wise, so this'll take me a while to finish.

Doing some character design exploration/expression sheets for Celestia and Luna. Figuring out Celestia's weird ass anatomy while I'm at it.

[bunnieswithknives]

OK JUST A LITTLE THING BECAUSE IM INSANE @cubbihue

Song: Plastic by Cheekface

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Master manipulator vs Master manipulator

 [First] Prev <–-> Next

[freyadragonlord]

How do I explain how married Han Yoojin and Sung Hyunje are in the post-epilogue Side Stories without sounding like I am exaggerating or making things up...

[melleody]

you guys i’m genuinely tweaking right now i think i minishifted

last night i went to bed and i didn’t affirm, didn’t listen to subliminals either (was too tired 😕)

i had fell asleep on the floor, & my mother woke me up so i could go onto my bed, & it was about 2am at this time

i don’t know how much longer or shorter it was after that, but i remember waking up and seeing a pillow that i had wanted in my dr bed, right next to me.

AND MY FAVORITE PART ?? I REACHED OUT TO TOUCH IT — i could touch it, and my nails were done all pretty, just the way i scripted !!

i had closed my eyes after (probably my mistake, i should’ve gotten up immediately, or held my pillow close to me to “lock in”, idk); but then i woke up this morning.. so yeah :(( i miss it already

i have classes, so i won’t be able to txt much, but can someone confirm if i dreamt or shifted?? thank u!!! 🎀💓✨

[micc0ro]

Error belongs to loverofpiggies

[shinyspacepirate]

[deservedgrace]

one of the more frustrating aspects of ex evangelical/ex cult stuff for me personally is how hard it is to talk about. and part of that is the emotional side of it, yeah it's a shitload of cumulative and compounding trauma and trauma is hard to talk about sometimes. but it's not always hard to talk about, or at least equally hard to talk about, and the thing that's honestly more frustrating to me about that is how... extensive it is, how impossible it is to give an accurate picture of what it was like, especially succinctly. there are so many things that you need context for. there's so much that doesn't really sound that bad unless you have other information. so much was normalized to me that i have a hard time knowing what's actually "normal" and what's "yikes" to other people because i simply don't always have the context for "normal". there's so much that's normalized in society and churches that gets dismissed as "normal" when it really, really shouldn't be. there's so much i just don't remember because it slipped out of my brain the same as "normal" unimportant memories because my brain didn't process it as abuse or traumatic at the time due to that lack of context of what "normal" is; it was normal to me and just what people did and how people acted and what people said. and the thing that happens is all of this compiles into me sounding like i'm exaggerating and whining about a "normal church experience" because it's just so impossible to describe how all-encompassing being in a cult is if you don't have that experience.

[poepill]

happy belated valentines day quodo upon thee! originally posted on ao3 for the quodo minifest, this was my valentines for @chacusha, who organized the event! i had a ton of fun drawing them and im definitely looking forward to next year <333

+ bonus art based on the comic by Kate Beaton, Javert is in Slash Fiction:

[arsenicflame]

i think the thing for me about edizzy is the potential of it all- we know they have history together, but we don't know what it is, how long it went on for, what it meant for them. there's endless possibilities there to explore, and any of them could be real! or not! but theres so much to explore with them and its so fun to imagine all the what-if's and could-have-beens of their relationship

[tarasmithshifts]

𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐔𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐃𝐑: 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐃 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐅𝐓 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟏

𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐑. 2 years😭 𝐀𝐆𝐄. 16-17 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐏: sirius, remus, james, lily, peter, dorcas, marlene, mainly people from gryffindor and ravenclaw

𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐒. single (5th to the end of 5th year) TAKEN BAHSDHABHAHDB (summer after 5th year - ongoing)

「 ✦ 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮𝓼 ✦ 」

okay guys.

this is it. THIS SHIFT IS MY ROMAN EMPIRE. i have so many things to tell about this shift 😭😭😭 so let's get started because this one will be looooooooooooong

i shifted for 2 YEARSSSS WHICH IS SO INSANE like, it's my longest shift ever 😭 the shift is taking place since summer before 5th year to the beginning of 7th

「 ✦ 5th year ✦ 」

𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓮 - 5𝓽𝓱 𝔂𝓮𝓪𝓻

so, as you probably know what happened during 5th year, i'm gonna tell you my scripted timeline.

august - the nightmare in the noble house of black

october - me, james, sirius became illegal animagus

beginning of december - peter became illegal animagus

may- 'the prank' happened

june - snape worst memory (as i read that it happened AFTER the prank)

june- i confessed my feelings to remus

july - sirius ran away to james

august - I ran away to remus, as walburga used crucius on me as a punishment

ＪＵＬＹ ＆ ＡＵＧＵＳＴ

— ୨୧₊˚ the nightmare in the noble house of black

living in this house wasn't the greatest experience ever 💀 and this summer was literally one of the worst since our beginning of learning in hogwarts. this summer was the first one that walburga used cruciatus on me and sirius. it was kind of torture, also, I hoped that reggie would say something, but he did nothing to stop our parents from doing this shit. ( it wasn't easy, but we still had james, remus, peter to send letters to. during this summer for the first time i thought of running away from this family. but i didn't want to leave regulus, and, even if i run away, where would i go? i didn't have truly anyone, and i didn't want to bother other marauders ( i mean remus especially, he was the closest friend of mine)) she did this because we didn't want to join their lord voldemort kind of cult. sirius and i knew that regulus won't say no to them. we knew that in some time, he''ll become a death eater. as war started in 1970, a lot of muggles where dead, as well as wizards. our parents weren't in voldemort' group, but they were conviced, that voldemort is doing the right thing. before the first day of 5th year, walburga was extra angry. (basically i told her to fuck off of me and sirius. we were abused for years, as this would change anything. we were in gryffindor, i had a friend that was muggle-born, we were friends with potter. nothing would change after their torture on us - emotionally or physically. i mean, this one pissed her off. she locked herself and me in one of the rooms we usually didn't use and you can imagine what happened - this part i have scripted off, as i 'don't remember what happened' i love angst in my drs BUT NOT THIS 💀💀 hell no, i'm not gonna be through more pain) i scripted that sirius knows what happened

ＳＥＰＴＥＭＢＥＲ

— ୨୧₊˚ 1st day

in the train me and sirius found a cabin as fast as possible, as i wasn't stron enough to walk around the train after the night before yk

we sat, and i kind of fell asleep?? i mean, i was just so tired that i kept my eyes shut the whole way to hogwarts. ten minutes after james, remus, and peter joined us. i didn't say hi or anything, just nodded my head and said something like 'gentelman' LMAO remus sat in front of me and tried to make some eye contact with me, tried to cheer me up, but i was to tired to react. Sirius also changed during this summer. We were both diffrent. boys saw that, james started to ask some questions like "Are you alright?" "How are you?", but sirius cut them and just said "Please, can we pretend like this is normal first day?" GUYS. AND THEN REMUS MOVED HIS LEG CLOSER TO MINE. as some kind of sign that he's sorry, even tho he didn't know what happened. IT WAS SUCH A CUTE INTERACTION AHHHHHHH

well, nothing really happened this month. we were just joking around, and we took care of remus when there was a full moon coming. lily and I became even clloser this time. She knew that i liked remus A LOT but she tried to stay out of this business (haha, she DID NOT. literally because of her i confessed my feeling for remus before him)

i knew that she didn't like what boys were doing with severus, but i did not say 'stop' when they were doing it. i never truly cared until may and june.

also lily and remus became prefects.

ＯＣＴＯＢＥＲ

— ୨୧₊˚ me, james and sirius became illegal animaguses

hello!!!!!! WAKE UPPP it's the month when me and marauders FINALLY became animaguses!!!!!!!!!! HELL YEAH

so basically we of course didn't know if the whole 'let's become and animagus' plan is gonna work. it was truly crazy that we did it. well, we didn't show remus anything at first, because peter didn't turn into one at first (he became one in december). My animagus happened to be a black puma, sirius turned into black dog, and james turned into a fucking stag, which was so hilarious like IMAGINE SEEING A HUGE RED STAG COMING OUT OF YOUR BATHROOM

(my animagus right here) ⤸

this was literally so funny, we couldn't believe it. only peter failed first time, but he eventually turned into animagus in december :))

i mean, during the first few months, nothing really happened. boys where doing pranks, me and lily were doing 'girl stuff' as james called it. i also spent a lot of time with remus, and i liked to do it a lot. we both have similar hobbys, and we just liked to spend time with each other. it was fascinating for me. he was fascinating. after this little intreraction we had back on train, something was diffrent between us. i mean, something weird was going on between us for literal years.

ＮＯＶＥＭＢＥＲ

— ୨୧₊˚ mine and sirius' birthday

and here it is. november. it was the time of the year that i tried to figure out how should we convince remus that we became animaguses for him, and that with this 'skill' we want to help him. we knew that he will say no for this idea, but we were determinated. so we started planning how we want to tell him about the whole 'omg remus look, i'm animagus!' thing. in november, james started to look after lily again. he wanted her to notice him, as me & boys knew he was not obsessed, but he was just in love with her, since early age. but i knew that lily doesn't want to has anything to do with him. well, not for now. he wasn't nice for her friend, severus. she cared about him, he was her closest friend, they knew each other even before hogwarts. so i understood why she was mad at james and ignored him.

੭ ME AND SIRIUS TURNED 16!!! we had a party in gryffindor common room, as we always did. every year we had some kind of party, but this one was HUGE. sirius wanted it to be special for both of us, so he invited people from hufflepuff and ravenclaw that we knew. from james and peter i got CDs and t-shirts of my fav band at the time - Fleetwood Mac and ABBA when i asked them how did they get it, they told me that they stole it LMAO sirius got me some perfumes that he knew i liked. BUT REMUS. oh. my. god.

when party was super loud, a lot of people (i mean james, peter nd sirius mainly) were drunk, i was standing by the wall, just drinking coke and talking to lily. then remus came up to us and asked if he can 'kidnap me' i was... kind of shocked. i said 'yes, of course.' so he asked me to close my eyes and he gave me a bandana, that probably belonged to sirius and covered my eyes, and he told me to go after him. he literally HOLD MY HAND and took me out of the common room. i knew it because he told me to 'be careful' and after the whole screams and party noices vanished. for few minutes we were just walking around the castle, when he finally took the bandana off, and told me to open my eyes.

HE. MADE. GODDAMN. PICNIC. ON. AN. ASTRONOMY TOWER.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND? LET ME SAY THIS ONCE AGAIN

HE. MADE. GODDAMN. PICNIC. ON. AN. ASTRONOMY TOWER.

my heart.

he even got this magical vinyl player (i think that in the movie prisoner of azkaban you can see something like this) AND PLAYED DAVID BOWIE

it was SOOOO BEAUTIFUL the weather was perfect, he even tried to apologise me that he didn't have anything else for me, THIS WAS THE BEST PRESENT EVER. we were just sitting, listening to music and eating snacks. IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL, and i can confirm, that THIS WAS THE TIME THAT I WAS SURE THAT I AM IN LOVE WITH REMUS FREAKING LUPIN

ＤＥＣＥＭＢＥＲ

— ୨୧₊˚ peter became illegal animagus

christmas time!!! finally!!!

during past like 3,4 months there was a lot of work to do - me and boys became animaguses, school wasn't the best thing too. i liked most of the classes, but herbology was kiling me. i just UGHHH i don't like magical plants ok? i just can't work with plants even in my cr, sooooo it is what it is. for extra classes i took magical theory and study of ancient runes, as i always found it interesting. 5th year is the year when in hogwarts i needed to pass OWLs to get into another year. i wanted to become an auror, so i had a lot of work anyway.

charms and DADA were the easiest classes for me. i even tought peter and james after classes, as sirius was too lazy to do that, and remus was good at it too.

also peter finally became an illegal animagus, so all of us were able to change our form. and finally, we decided how we would tell remus about the whole thing. as a christmas gift (james came up with that and we all thought that this is a good idea)

— ୨୧₊˚ before christmas

CHRISTMAS TIME IS HERE

I LOVE CHRISTMAS AT HOGWARTS it's always so beautiful

me and sirius, as well as remus stayed at hogwarts during christmas.

but before james and peter left, we had a little surprise for remus

we planned the whole thing to be perfect in every detail. we had to do it in secret, of course which was kind of almost impossible. it was christmas time, everyone was giving others present, dormitory was FULL of people, somebody wanted to talk, or somebody wanted to give you presents. lily even locked herself in our dormitory to hide FROM JAMES LMAO

but finally we all got a moment when boys could hide in their dormitory, there transform into animagi and i could go and ask remus if he can go after me. it happened on 16.12.75, two days before full moon.

WELL, HE WAS IN SHOCK.

when we got in, first sirius came out as a black dog, and remus didn't know wth is going on, then peter showed up AND THEN JAMES CAME OUT OF A BATHROOM AS A STAG. i just said "well, we knew that you would protest if we told you, soooo we've done that in secret. we want to help you remus" HE WAS JUST STANDING THERE LIKE THIS 🕴🕴🕴 the only thing he said was "oh my god" then he turned to me and said "you too?" and i nodded. then boys turned into human form and james started talking why we did that, that we want to help remus during full moons, taking care of him and watching on him in shrieking shack. in animal form he wouldn't see human beings in us, just other animals. well, remus didn't like the idea. but we proved our right.

੭ 2 days later, when full moon came, we went after remus to whomping willow, and spent whole night with him. we took care that he wouldn't harm himself like he did before. and guess what? we were right. when he turned bck into a human form, we needed to go back to hogwarts before pomfrey would find us. when we met him at the hospital wing, he said that "on merlin's beard, you were right" and since then, we took turns, one time me and sirius spent time with him, once james and peter, other time just me, once me and james etc. and it was working!

— ୨୧₊˚ christmas

this year me and sirius didn't come back home for christmas, even tho' regulus tried to convince us, we said no. james, peter and lily went home, so me, sirius and remus were entirely alone. from gryffindor only we stayed in hogwarts. but we had fun!!

for christmas i got remus a moon calendar, as i know he didn't have one (i scripted that pomfrey was checking on moons then), so he could be warned about full moons coming. he was still kind of mad about us becoming animagi, but i knew that it wouldn't last long. he knew that no matter what we would help him, even if he said 'no'.

for sirius i contacted andromeda to send me new AC/DC album, so i got him a vinyl :)) (album is called T.N.T. and came out 1 december 1975 if you wonder!)

remus stayed because his father wasn't home anyways, so he just stayed at hogwarts

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ OKAY SO IM HERE TO EXPLAIN SOMETHING ABOUT LUPIN FAMILY LOREEE

okay. about mother of remus (hope lupin) i scripted that yes, she's a muggle, she was an opera singer but died when remus was young boy. about his father - lyall lupin - he was a wizard, i scripted that he was in ravenclaw and worked in ministry of magic at department for the regulation and control of magical creatures, because of that he was usually very busy he left contry even for month, so yup :( and that he died during 1st war. i think that making remus' mother an opera singer was kind of beautiful, later on, during the war he listens to her records at 12 grimmuald place and at home that we live in :)) (i will make a playlist with music that she recorded/operas that she performed in)

okay that's all about his family, i will tell more in another post :))

ANYWAY let's get back!

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

— ୨୧₊˚ new year's eve

during new year's eve, me, sirius and remus went to astronomy tower as may students did, dumbledore told us that we can party and that we can go there, but he hoped we wouldn't do anything stupid. also, severus snape stayed that year at hogwarts, so of course sirius couldn't stop himself from doing something stupid. when he was trying to prank him, me and remus stayed at astronomy tower and looked at the stars, as well as we did back in november <333 we talked about how he should not be mad at us at accept the fact that we are trying to help him, and then we were stuck in some situation that was just... awkward. i mean, he said that he understand us and he knows that he won't stop us... but i mean, i wanted to kiss this man so badly. like GODDAMN HOW MANY MONTHS DO I NEED TO WAIT

it was cute until sirius came back out of nowhere at just stood behind us and said "ok, now kiss" LMAO it was so awkward

but we made it! we made it to 1976... which was CRAZY

ＪＡＮＵＡＲＹ, ＦＥＢＲＵＡＲＹ, ＭＡＲＣＨ ＡＮＤ ＡＰＲＩＬ

during these months, we were stuck on studying to OWLs, but what happened was some birthdays and full moons of course.

in january there was first full moon when sirius and peter was around remus when he transformed into a werewolf. sirius and james even made up cover names for us based on our animagi form.

james happened to be prongs, peter was wormtail, sirius was padfoot, i was fang, which i didn't like, but it stayed with me for years, and remus was moony. at first we both didn't like this, but when we started using those names it felt okay. so it stayed like this.

also, in january there was lily's birthday! i got her a silver necklace that she told me she wanted before summer '75, james of course wanted to ask her on a date, she of course said no :( but he still got her flowers and her favourite chocolates from hogsmeade :))

in february, on valentines day, he also was super crazy about her. he was just running around gryffindor common room, not knowing what should he get her, but finally sirius told him to 'calm yourself and try to talk to her like you aren't a psychopath" well, it didn't work either.

i also felt like i want to give something remus for valentines, but i was too scared to do anything 💀💀💀 so i just locked myself in a dormitory and stayed there for whole day, especially day later full moon was there, so remus also stayed for the whole saturday in his dormitory.

in february james and peter stayed with remus during full moon

in march and april nothing really happened, we were just studying for OWLs that were very close, but still james, pter, and sirius got a detention from mcgonagall after they blew up her office 💀💀💀 me and remus stayed out of this kind of business 💀 and thanks to god for that

in march me and james stayed with remus, in april - sirius and peter

ALSOOOO in march remus and james had their birthdays!!!

for remus i got a necklace that was sun-shaped, and i showed him, that i had similar one - but moon-shaped. and guess what HE WORE IT ALL THE TIME, WHENEVER HE COULD. i noticed it after some weeks but still. like, boys were making fun of him because of that, they even called him 'girlypop' LMAO it was funny sometimes, even for remus but some of the times he was so tired of this that he just told them to 'shut up' and then he just went away from them, sometimes to sit with me in common room, sometimes to library.

for james i had mini version of his broom that he owned. it could even fly around the room :)) there was also a party, we did only one but big one :))

AND HERE WE ARE.

ＭＡＹ

ekhm, ekhm, ekhm... prepare yourself

— ୨୧₊˚ the prank

the prank in my dr is... a crazy domino effect

let's start from the beginning, and let's get through this situation as SLOW as possible.

so,

⋆｡°✩┊3 days before the prank

remus felt more pain because of full moon than he ever did. he stayed in bed, because he didn't want to go to pomfrey, he didn't want to show his weakness at that moment. he locked himself from us, but peter found a way throuhj some holes in walls as an animagi.

so we had eyes on him, even when he didn't want us to.

sirius also started acting... diffrently. i noticed that quickly, like, i'm his sister, we are twins 💀 so i notice things like this fast. he planned something. i knew that. but i didn't care, as i thought that this would be another stupid idea by sirius black. how wrong i was...

⋆｡°✩┊day before the prank

remus was with pomfrey that day. we didn't see him, as pomfrey told us not to do, even when james started literally fighting over it, but she still said no.

during the day, when we were after classes, and we were in common room, i couldn't find sirius there. which was weird, 'cause he always sat with boys in dormitory or in common room. i had to return his books before OWLs that had place next day, and he wanted them back. but i didn't find them. also, this full moon me and james should take care of moony during this night, but prongs was getting sick. i knew that he was also tired from learning to pass OWLs, so i offered that only i would go that night. he protested at first, but finally agreeded. i told him to just go to sleep and rest. i mean, my animagi is puma, so i would be okay, i mean, that's what i thought

⋆｡°✩┊the night when the prank happened

everything was okay at first. as usual, i waited for a bit, so pomfrey would take remus to shrieking shack and come back to hogwarts. that's when we went in our animagi form to whomping willow. and that's what i did too. when i got into shrieking shack, moony was already in his werewolf form. it didn't happen often. i mean, usually we got couple more minutes before he transform. but it didn't happen that day. i felt that he was nervous, even angry at some point, more than usual. so i just got into my sleeping position, and even fell asleep. at first remus was fighting himself, but stopped very quickly. he was calm, layed in the floor. when we were both laying down, after like an hour?? maybe?? something happened. moony suddenly raised his head. but i felt the same thing as he did. someone was outside. i thought it was james, so i stood up and just walked to the spot where i could see the person that was at the time walking down the stairs.

everything happened in seconds.

when i saw severus snape standing at the door, in a milisecond remus stood up and i knew what would happen next. he wanted to atack snape. i felt how he got angry. why didn't severu ran? but when i saw remus getting ready to jump to him, i didn't think twice. i turned into my human form again, and in a blink of an eye i was standing between moony and severus. BUT HE WAS STILL STANDING THERE. like why didn't he run?? i shouted to him, to go find somebody, dumbledore, mcgonagall, or pomfrey, but he was still standing there, too scared to even move an inch. then remus attacked us. i used basic spell to get rid of him for a second, but i knew that it made him angry even more. i shouted 'go' to severus. it finally moved him, and he ran away. i hoped that he would get somebody before something happens.

he attacked me more aggressively, than before. i didn't want to use more hard spells, 'cause i knew that i would hurt him. iwould hurt moony. remus.

so i didn't attack. i just casted spells that would help me protect myself, well, it worked 'till he didn't even see the spells. he just ignored them. like i was just, you know, just a girl that was standing on his way for his food. then it happened. he took a swing and his claws landed on my neck and cheek.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ANOTHER EXPLAINATION HEREEEEEE

so, when i first created this dr, as a faceclaimi took sophie thatcher, and it stayed like that BUTTT in first 'design' of me i had scars. scars are beautiful. all of the scars have their own story, through scars you can see what someone was going through. and, well the idea stayed with me. but, i wanted the scars to have history, as every scar have one, yk :) sooooo i scripted that i have scars on the right side of my face, on my cheek. then the right side of my neck, and then, a little bit lower on my right hand, forearm, etc., so, as scripted i needed get those from somewhere... and the prank is one of those situations that when i was creating my first script for this dr, i thought 'hell yes, this is THE moment' so, here we are. with a little bit of angst coming in, let's get going :))

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

so also i just scripted a 'huge pain' etc. out of my dr, so i just felt a scratch, like nothing really happened.

as soon as this happened, somebody came into the shrieking shack. it was dumbledore and pomfrey, and after them i saw james. he was about to help pomfrey to take my out of there. dumbledore tried to calm down moony. i think i kind of fell asleep? passed out or smth? idk , i just woke up in the hospital wing. remus was sitting next to me, asleep. when pomfrey saw that i'm awake, she came and gave me some meds, she asked how do i feel and told me what happened, even tho i remembered. she also told that remus refused to move from hospital wing untill i woke up :((

when he finally woke up, i said something that was suppose to be 'hey' but sounded more like 'ghrb', LMAO that's bc wounds on my neck. but, it quickly vanished

well... and now the rollarcoaster is coming.

he said, that sirius told severus about whomping willow and the spell that you cast to go to shrieking shack. what he didn't know was that i was alone there. that james stayed in the dormitory for night. it was around midnight when sirius woke james up and started mumbling something like 'why are you here', 'isn't it your turn today?' james started to try to calm sirius down, he waken up peter too. they started talking with him, about what happened, when he finally said that he told severus about remus, james panicked. 'he just shouted something like 'tara is there. alone' sirius looked as if he had seen a ghost. when james left the dormitory, he went to pomfrey to wake her up. when he was on his way, he bumped into severus. both of them was going for someone. severus went to dumbledore, and james to pomfrey. severus stayed in castle, and james went with professors to help them bringing me back to hogwarts. rest of the story i knew.

well, i was in quite shock. SIRIUS. S I R I U S

and i connected the dots too. what he was doing when i couldn't find him.

remus wasn't looking at me when he spoke. and when he spoke again, he also wasn't looking.

teachers didn't know that we were animagis, so james lied to dumbledore about how did i end up there. that i figured out about sirius' plan before boys. and that i went there alone. james told that version to severus and other marauders. also remus.

i was kind of getting ignored by him? i mean, he wasn't looking at him. i was ANNOYED by this. so, even with the 'thing' with my voice, it was better this time. i told him to look at me. he DIDN'T. bro. why the fuck. then i said it again. when he finally looked at me, his eyes were teary. HELL NAH. he literally cried. about what happened. he was BRRRRROKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN. about what happened. he knew what he had done while being in his werewolf form. and he didn't want to look at me because of that. hell. no.

i said, that it's not his fault. that i don't want him to be sorry. and, oh god why, he literally SHOUTED at me 😭 that i have no idea, that he destroyed me, that he almost killed me. that he made me ugly. he literally used that word. UGLY. so i said that he have wounds too. that they are not making him ugly. that he is even more beautiful because of that. so then he just got up and left. GOT UP AND LEFT.

and how am i supposed to react bro. HOW.

in big summary, after him dumbledore came in. he told me that he sent an owl to my parents. he didn't tell the truth tho. he needed to lie about this situation, as also my parents were anti-werewolfes yk. he also told me that 'mr lupin is mad at your brother, and he's ignoring your other friends. he blame himself about what happened. and about what happened to you.' he just told me that he needs to take points from gryffindor, but i shouldn't feel that it's because of me. 'and even mr snape won't say that, he is thankful. you can stay here for some days. poppy will probably force you to stay until the wounds heal.' well, i heard pomfrey say that those wounds will stay with me forever, as scars, but it was okay. as i said scars are BEAUTIFUL and in that moment i knew that. they didn't make me ugly. they didn't destroy me. i was still me. scars only made me more visible. more me.

about my OWLs - i did pass them, dumbledore proposed me another deadline. i left hopsital wing after a week. pomfrey healed my wounds as much as possible, but as she said, these are magical wounds, and they won't vanish from my body. they will stay with me as scars.

ＪＵＮＥ

for two weeks after the prank i still have trouble with speaking, but with potions from pomfrey it . me & marauders passed OWLs, so we are kind of celebrating :))

andddddd here we are

— ୨୧₊˚ i finally confessed my feeling to remus

so let's just go STRAIGHT to this moment 'cause i wanted to share this with you for literal month LMAOOO

okay.

here we go.

everything started after like a month after may accident?? something around that.

remus was still mad at sirius, so was i. i mean, yes, he was my brother, but yes, he did what he did. and he will not run away from that. but after all he literally was stalking me to check if i'm okay, brang me potions from pomfrey, which was very nice from him, and i knew that he had done that because he was kind of stupid LMAO i think you know what i'm talking about. he didn't think about consequences of that :( remus sat separately from us. and in june, i got rid of that, and sat in front of him. he didn't talk to me, didn't even look at me. i was angry of course. he was my best friend, and he just stoped talking to me, because of what sirius had done. at the time my wounds were healed and i didn't wear any bandage or something - it wasn't necessary. and yes, as i said before, i have scars as i meant in the beggining of creating this dr. he wanted to go away, but when he stood up, i thought that maybe we just need to talk face to face, without anybody around us. So i said his name, he stopped for a second. I said something like 'can we talk at the astronomy tower tonight at midnight?' BUT HE DIDN'T EVEN NOD OR SOMETHING. like goddamn, why. but ANYWAY, he just walked away back to dormitory, and i hoped that he will show up (like i do not have it scripted LMAO)

okay so let's move on.

i stayed up all night nd just before midnight i got myself up and went to astronomy tower, hoping that he would be there. HMHMHM GUESS WHAT.

he was there.

he was already there when i came PLSSSSS

he was standing back to me, i didn't see his face or something, so i just stood next to him, and when he like didn't talk, i started explaining to him, that all of this that happened wasn't his fault. (well at some point it was also mine, i didn't defend myself as i could just because i didn't want to hurt him lol) and then i saw that he cried??? LITERALLY CRIED??? so i just shut up and we stayed in silence. AND THEN THERE IS T H I S PART. I LITERALLY SCIPTED ALL OF THIS (as i love that i do not script almost anything that people are saying, it's kind of funny sometimes, but here i scripted THE WHOLE THING WE WERE SAYING LMAO) so basiclly he said: 'I hurted you. The marks humans leave are too often scars. And the worst pain for me is, that i know i did this to you.' AND HERE HE FINALLY LOOKED AT ME. “Pain is temporary, but quitting lasts forever. I do not want you to leave because of that. I need you, remus. I don't care about this. I didn't care and i won't care untill i die. You would've never done that, and you know that. Do not seperate from me please, because this is what could make me feel worse. That you don't want to see me, touch me, speak to me." (i said) and there we stayed silence and i knew what i said. I LITERALLY CONFESSED MY FEELINGS TO HIM. so i kept going with this "You are closer to me than James or Peter, you know that. And i think i..." (here was a dramatic pause ofc lmao) "I think i feel something diffrent to you than to them. i don't know how to say this" Basiclly i started to stress and started mumbling, and he was still looking at me. AND THEN THIS HAPPENED.

REMUS FUCKING LUPIN KISSED ME GUYS

LET'S CELEBRATE OMG KJSDFHKJSHFKJSHDFKJDSFBSKDF

he said "You have no idea how i struggled to keep myself away from you."

MY HEART

MY.

HEART.

I AM STILL IN SHOCK OKAY. IT'S BEEN A MONTH AND THIS IS ALL I THINK ABOUT.

(and all of this wouldn't happen without lily, she literally told me 'she'i will kill you if you do not talk to him right now' so i guess she is a mother of this success here)

THE END OF PART 1

ʙʟᴀᴄᴋ ᴠᴇʟᴠᴇᴛ - marauders dr playlist

“ɪ ꜱᴏʟᴇᴍɴʟʏ ꜱᴡᴇᴀʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴜᴘ ᴛᴏ ɴᴏ ɢᴏᴏᴅ.” - my little mixtape

'ᴍʏ ᴍᴜᴍ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴀɴ ᴏᴘᴇʀᴀ ꜱɪɴɢᴇʀ, ʏᴀ ᴋɴᴏᴡ?' - hope lupin

ʙʟᴀᴄᴋ ᴠᴇʟᴠᴇᴛ - pinterest board

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚

WRITING THIS WAS A TORTUREEEEEEEEEEE it took me whole month i'm so sorry that i update it rn. i also need to edit this because i made a lot of mistakes LMAO, so pls don't come after me if i misspelled some words or changed from past to present lmao

but yup. Part 2 will come sooner i promise <3

[ruvviks]

finally got around making a proper outfit reference sheet for nathan! he likes wearing dark clothes which really emphasizes just how pale he is. he was a STEM developer at MOBIUS for nine years what did you expect </3 click for higher resolution and to get a closer look at all the details! outfits from left to right: his gear for the evil within 2, 1am convenience store trip, his mobius gear, and an improvised outfit for my own fictional the evil within 3 =^)

taglist (opt in/out)

@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart;

@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;

@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;

@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree;

@jacobseed, @swordcoasts

[elllteo]

Creators I love you but it's time to wake up

Among rumors about our tumblr user data being sold off to Midjourney/Generative AI, recent Extremely transphobic events (that have been ongoing) coming to a head, another extremely concerning internet censorship bill being pushed in upper levels of government, and a general air of frustration over how the site belongs to and is operated by perhaps the second stupidest CEO (second only to twitters own) of our age, I'm very done with the last few vestiges of what the old internet held for artists.

And if you're reading this, you probably are too.

I know we're tired. We are all tired. It is not always viable to pack up shop and move, again and again and again.

From tumblr to twitter to anywhere else we've ever grown up posting, things no longer work. Our audiences are kneecapped by aggressive and hostile algorithms, our reach is abysmal - if we aren't shadow-banned or silenced for one (transphobic) reason or another, we're thrust into an ever growing pit of hostility where the only thing that drives clicks is fighting and contention.

We're tired. We're so fucking tired. We aren't businesses, we aren't content mills, we cannot keep this pace that modern social media has set for us, to wring every ounce of creativity out of us to profit from and leave us rotting.

The key to staying afloat here, and I cannot stress this enough, is to stay connected to your peers.

Pack up and move as units if you must. Exodus from the sites that are killing us. Push your entire friend group of artists to move from one site to the next that promises you a kinder experience.

Art drives movements, it drives change, it is all that encompasses being human. If you take that away from the shitty places, they will be left with nothing but a cesspit of inhumanity and the people who follow you will be more incentivized than ever to move with you.

Yes, this is terrifying. There are no guarantees. There never was, and never are, and never will be.

But stay connected. Stay human.

Support each other and be willing to hold hands and jump when we all - as a group - need to jump from the flames we're all trying to convince ourselves wont kill us before rescue comes.

Rescue isn't coming, rescue will be found hand in hand with each other. I'm offering you my hand, please take it. There's always a new start, there are always helping hands reaching for you. You have to look up from the doom-scroll long enough to see and take them.

[softerhaze]

idk if it was the venus retrograde or what, but july 2023 was quite literally the worst month i've ever experienced in my life like.....every single day? awful? worse than the last? it's more likely than u think