#I go back and reread stuff all the time just to remind my brain of the FACTS that are being jotted down right there

[imagionationstation]

[impish-baby]

hello hello!! it is i, 📼 anon!! in your ghost caregiver writing, i saw you mentioned a possible haunted doll at the bottom of it, and it got my brain turning on how a haunted doll could be a caregiver and not a playmate, but then it clicked!! what if the doll isn't haunted by a child, but you think it's haunted by a child (at first). The doll is actually haunted by an adult who was in someway a guardian of a child, whether they have been a mom, a dad, a significantly older sibling that took in the younger one after something happened to their parents, etc etc. The doll was owned by their child/sibling/charge, and so their strong familial bond caused doll!caregiver to possess their charges favorite soft toy after their passing; so they could always be with them! But sadly, their charge grew older and packed the doll away. doll!caregiver couldn't reach them at that point, until years later when they were taken out of storage; they thought that they could see their charge again, but they just got donated to a thrift store with other knickknacks that their charge deem unnecessary to keep around :( And that's how dol!caregiver got into your hands! you popped by a small thriftstore while walking the town, and browsed around, eventually getting to an endcap near the back of store labeled "UNIQUE AND VINTAGE ITEMS", and there sat doll!caregiver! They'd most likely be a rubberfaced but softbodied doll, maybe a rainbow brite or a strawberry shortcake; something heavily associated with young girls from a while ago, but not too long ago, because that's why you picked the doll up in the first place! It reminded you of your childhood in some way, or maybe you were interested in older toys in general. Regardless, you brought them home, and almost immediately paranormal activity began happening. It was small things, like if you lost your keys, you'd turn around and find them on a very obvious spot you were sure you'd checked multiple times, or going to sleep with your TV on and waking up with it turned off. Little stuff like that, which made you look towards the little doll you'd brought home right before the activity began. You were a bit weary at first, but ran your memory back and deemed them harmless. You assumed it was haunted by a child, so you started to try and include it in things. You'd carry them around the house, you'd bundle them up in their own blanket at night, you even got them some little toys from the same thriftstore for them to play with! But that was all in vain, because the doll is haunted by an adult, an adult who's decided that you're their new charge. Whether or not they'd view you as a little sibling, a child, or something entirely different is up in the air, But they do care very much about you! They find it adorable that you try to take care of them- silly thing! they're the one who's supposed to take care of you! You're unaware of the spirit in the doll being an adult, and they're unaware that you think they're a child's spirit. They'll eventually do bigger stuff, like leave out milk and cookies when you get back from going out, or if you fall asleep in a chair or on the couch, you'll wake up to being tucked into your bed. doll!caregiver wouldn't want you getting a crick in your neck! + i didn't touch much on the yandere aspects of this idea, but i fear i may have yapped too much :( your writing is just very inspiring and I can't help but make an entire novel about the ideas u spur on,,, have a good day/night/whatever!! -📼 anon

Ahhh, this is so so good!!! I keep rereading it over and over, you did such a fantastic job with the concept!!

I'd forgotten, people are kind - Haunted doll caregiver x reader - 🧸

You take the utmost care with your vintage toys, carefully giving them baths and trying to give them the love they must have had from whoever owned them originally. It's a labor of love, repairing any tears and touching up paint to the best of your ability, but it's worth it. The newest addition to your collection definitely needed some repairs, face cracked and faded with a body that definitely expirenced some rough play throughout the years.

Once you're finished, you're proud to say it looks almost good as new! Delicately dressed back up, the doll is now ready to be tucked into bed beside you with a few of your other plushies.

Although, when you wake up the next day every single one has fallen to the floor, the doll being the only one left on the bed. You have to apologize to them for the tubble they took, setting the plushies back onto the bed in a way that you hope makes sure there's no more accidents.

However, it becomes a nightly occurrence. That's not the only strange thing happening either. Lights flicker on and off, doors slam, disembodied footsteps follow you, everything points you to the conclusion that your doll is very much haunted. The fact both saddens and makes you relieved in a way. It must be a child's spirit, but at least they won't be collecting dust in a stuffy old thrift store anymore..

They end up with a dedicated corner in your room, filled with toys you'd think they'd like, careful not to include any stuffies or other dolls. It's actually fun setting them up with a little tea party. They seem happier too! Notes crudley scribbled in crayon start appearing, touching even if they were unsettling at first.

The ghost is strangely fixated on how well you take care of yourself, almost scolding you for not eating three meals a day. The next morning, you wake up to your favorite cereal already poured with cartoons playing on the TV.

Mathew thinks you're just the cutest. You're so much like his little sister it's uncanny, but you won't abandon him like she did. He's sure of it. He had resigned himself to rotting away before you found him. You're his savoir, and Mathew will do all he can to give all your care back tenfold.

It's a little funny watching you talk to him like a child, but he supposes that's what it must seem like to you.

You've stopped paying so much attention to your other toys at least, thank goodness. Mathew feels a bit silly for being so upset with the fact that you supplied your love to them the same way, but he deserves it more. It hurts when you aren't looking at him, it makes him scared.

You're trying to color with him now, rambling on from one thing to another. He can't help but mess with you a little, only adding to his page when you aren't looking. But by the end of the night, there are two coloring pages proudly hung up at the fridge.

[hummingbird-games]

2023 In Review (Indie Games)

Last year's! | 2021

I apologize in advance for how long this might be. As a reminder, I don't bash games here so even if I hated something with every fiber of my being...I ain't sharing. As a second reminder, my more in depth reviews and live blogging has moved to Gem's Game Gems so I don't clutter the HBG's main blog. Okay. ON WITH THE REVIEW!!

DEMOS

Diffraction (Demo)- A rainy day otome indeed. I love the quiet gentleness of this game, the two romance options, and the fact that our MC is a photographer and struggling with her art and stack of life "failures" (because...SAME!!)

Alaris - I was asleep and now I am awake: I came late for the advertised fae and dragon lore, stayed seated and waiting for Fenir zjgjdf. Oh, and I guess the mystery surrounding our MC's abilities LOL.

The Summit Library - When I say I was maaaaaad when I realized I blew through chapter 1 and would have to go back to waiting for more content??? LOL, I was very miffed. Anyhoo, check out this title for the gorgeous art, another intriguing mystery (like what is *up* with the magic in the poor library?? who or what is to blame?? 👀) and of course the lovely characters we've been introduced to thus far.

Of Sense and Soul - I'm a regency romance girl. Like after you strip away the other stuff, I am but a poor woman with simple needs: a good ass love story 🤧💛 It's about the yearning and the slow burn and the will they/won't they/PLEASEEE they...I've never been so charmed by a demo, and the full game is going to be amazing I just know it!

Made Marion - This project is a game I've been keeping tabs on for a hot minute but hadn't taken the time to sit and properly enjoy the demo. I'M SO GLAD I DID!!! It's in early access now, so I'm hoping eventually I'll be able to carve out some time to play, but guysss Velvet Cupcake is doing the Thing?!? No idea which love interest I'll go for first, but I had a fun time meeting the Nottingham peeps in the demo.

Herotome (Super Demo) - Oh gosh. Oh gosh oh gosh oh my GOSHHH. Where do I even began?? (Really the question is where the hell do I end because this is one of those projects I talk about a lot/think about a lot and surprisingly haven't run out of things to say zkjfksjd). Another game I've been following for a while, it 100% lives up to the superhero genre in its aesthetic, the characters you interact with, the music and sound design, and of course the slowly unfurling story. Jade and Mia had come out as my top faves, Warden is still there, like hovering in the backgroud, shhhh but I have a special place in my heart for Griffin too (that conversation we have with her?? I have so many screenshots just so I can go back and reread and sear the words in my brain. Like a weirdo. Yup.)

Celestial Crowns - Stats building, celestial royalty, dating sim where you fuck around and find out your choices directly affect your MC's personality?? I'm sat. I supported the Kickstarter and now I try to practice patience for the full game's release siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighh.

OTOME/JOSEI JAM

Please note this is a SUPER abridged list for my sanity and I fell a little more in love with these 2 jams with each entry I played...

Intertwine - As embarrassing as it sounds, I've never given much thought to the "red string" thing, and I consume more than enough romance media LOL!! But Van is suuuuuch a beautiful man, the UI for this game is so interactive and lovely, the music is ALSO lovely, just lovely-love all the way around teehee. (Also this game encourages replayabillity so like, do with that info what you will.)

Spring Boy [Demo] - I believe this game is going through a complete rehaul, so my thoughts and feelings refer to the original jam entry I played. The art is bright and cute and it's a super super short demo, but I was intrigued by the other student we meet on our mission to plead with our professor about our bombed exam lol!

Assignment Due: Project Blue - IRl group projects??? Suck absolute ass. Group projects with a guy name Asher?? Suddenly it's my new favorite thing in the world 😁

Cryptid Campaign Manager [DEMO] - Remember the last time I looked over a cryptid dating sim??? Remember how I was SUCH a fool?? Good thing I didn't make that mistake again!! The prologue is such a tease but you get an idea of what the full game is gonna be like, and I'm excited to see where my career involving love (and politics) goes!

Heart Cage [Demo] - Yoooooo I stay my ass far far far away from yanderes (could never get into the trope or the character type). WELP. Guess I just needed to keep searching because I really downloaded this off a whim--well, the whim being one of my fellow dev peers playing and rating-- and proceeded to get sucked in 🤧I thought being a detective would be the highlight, but I guuuueeesssss I was more into the romance options than I thought. Oops.

Evernight - I tried to explain what this game meant to me on the side blog, but words failed me. I still don't know what to say other than I loved it?? Which is like ummm I say I love everything, and yeah I'm easy to please BUT Y'ALLLLLL if you play no other game, play this one. Please. Date a werewolf. Or a vampire. Or a fae. Plz. Also figuring out the mystery of your MC's abilities and past is just delightful, ugh.

Bright Oak (demo) - Anotha one I wrote about on the side blog!!! Play this one!!! The writing is lush and atmospheric and the characters are all delightful and it's another game with a mystery to untangle!

The Faithfulness of the Universe- This one gets the award for most unique all around entry that I played. Theeeeee prettiest pixel art to bless my eyeballs, and this tasty mystery concerning Fate and witch Faustina's future (or lack thereof 👀) and what it all means. As a player I very much want to know what it all means!

A Cup For All Seasons - Another game that needs its flowers y'all. It's short but super healing and super cozy and the voice acting and music really tie the gaming experience together???

The Working Woman's Guide to Burning Bridges - DEMO - It's the way I played the demo twice and I've been thinking about it ever since 😭😭😭🙃 obviously life happens and things come up, plus this was a demo. But. BUT!!! I am on my hands and knees prayinnggg the team gets together again to finish the game. I love playing as a stressed, lowkey bitter hot mess who doesn't have her life together 😂somehow the fictional version is soooo much more entertaining!!!

Keyframes (Spring Demo) - After the game College Craze, this is legit THE college, slice of life visual novel of my dreams. I cannot wait for the updated demo next year, and the Kickstarter whenever that rolls around. And now that the developer is on Tumblr, I've definitely been stalking the account and reading each new post like it's my day/night/weekend job 🤧

Hello Counsel 💋 - Okay I take it back, Evernight is like a 20/10 but Hello Counsel is like an 100/10 👁️👄👁️ This game is necessary for my mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health, alright? The banter ✅ the character designs ✅ the music ✅ the sizzling chemistry between Poise and Salem ✅ I wish this game had more buzz because IT'S SO GOOD!!! (also the dev, Miseri, is who I wanna be when I grow up. I've made it through almost their whole backlog of games and there are no misses and EVERY game is different from the rest and it makes it hard for a toodler dev--ME--to cope LOL)

Candied Hearts - Isekaied into a candy themed game?? Sign me TF UP!!! (Peppermint I love you dearly, you must understand.)

Fully Released & Played (at least 1 playthrough)

The Knight's Dilemma - I don't even know how I originally stumbled upon this??? I just know it had been in my backlog for a hot minute and I was intrigued enough to save it way back when. Y'ALL WHY DIDN'T I PLAY SOONER SKJFHFJFH! There's a couple different endings, I loved the voice direction, AND it's such a simple concept of a game that was just executed beautifully.

Trouble Comes Twice - If I had to make a top 5 list of romance VNs, guess who makes the list?? Guess. Guess guess guess. Have you guessed yet??? LOL! I have been in love with TCT since it's development days and with each passing month, waiting in anticipation, playing the Pateron beta builds, screaming on the main blog about every single thought I had about Jace and Hazel (shoutout to Jace for helping me figure out *me*) Lol if you're curious about said thoughts, those posts are on this blog and not the side blog.

Aelfric the Wondrous - 10/10 would love to forget my first play through JUST to have that experience fresh again 😭😭💛Cute and funny and a wonderful parody type game all around.

A Summer's End - Hong Kong 1986 - Goodness, there's no excuse for why this took me years to finish but anyhoo, I finished, I loved it, I recommend it! It's romantic and achingly authentic and the art is soooo gorgeous I literally can't stand it 😭

The Things You Do For Love - Unhinged yandere manages to entertain and garner sympathy and laughter from Gemini. And that poly ending is chef's kiss too????

Band Camp Boyfriend - There are a handful of games I found and loved before I began my game development journey, and this is one of them. BCB is so dear to me, because of the story and characters but also because of the Dynamic Duo creators and their team behind the scenes. I was never a band kid I was a chorus kid but just as the band geeks loved this game to pieces, us normal folks do too!! Even the boys who I didn't like I STILL managed to find joy in playing their routes (still have a few more to finish at the time of this posting lol, GOTTA GET THE FINAL ROUTE YO). Anyway, this game more than delivered for me and I hope more people keep discovering it!!

Belle Automata: Chronicle I [RELEASED] - While only Chronicle 1 is out at the time of this posting, I already know that the 2nd and 3rd parts are going to be just as amazing???? I wrote about this one on the side blog, so here's my copypaste that still rings true:  

I love TNP (The Nightmare Prince) but Victor’s route hit the sweet spot for me. Maybe it’s the slow(er) burn nature of this route, maybe it’s the reserved nature of Victor and watching him slowly start to care (AND NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THOSE FEELINGS TEEHEE) for me.

A Date with Death - I wrote about this on the side blog--again--. The demo. And then right after finishing a route. And then again where I was fully awake and still managed to sound deranged. No copypaste for that, I shall be nice. But yeah!! Another game where I was screaming at the sky about how much I love it and how I'll never know peace as long as I live.

Our Life: Baxter DLC - I need to offer an official apology to both Cove and Derek because falling head over heels, down the stairs, crashing into the parking lot, falling again but down a manhole for Baxter's infuriating ass was NOT on my 2023 bingo board??? HELLO???? I bought his DLC just to complete my OL collection. Was not expecting to love it this much. Was not expecting to be called to write fanfic and abandon all responsibilities to do this. WHILE DOWN WITH COVID TOO. Allow me to play the song of my people. *Send in the Clowns plays*

Our Cinderella - (this is so funny I'm taking about a side game before the main game LOLOLOLOL) Guys. Guysss. You guyyyysss 🥹if you're looking for a cozy, hilarious, equally oddly and wonderfully sweet short game, this is the one!! You may have your personal favorite Iggy ship (like me) but all the pairings are so amazing and just make sense lol!

Wylde Flowers - This is the only non visual novel game on here but it gets the spotlight because I did NOT spend 90+ hours on this game to gatekeep this beauty. No. It the coziest, the funniest, the funnest, the most addictive Switch game (after Teacup) I've ever played.

Fully Released (& still on 1st playthrough)

Garden of Seif: Chronicles of an Assassin - Life kicked my butt and then sat on me SO while I finally got my grubby hands on the full copy, I still have only played the entirety of the demo. But. We will return to this in 2024 and hopefully I'll have a full review for the next wrap up!

Our Wonderland - I looked back at the side blog and I can't believe it was only THIS year that I started OW??? Because I'd known of the game and the dev for longer than that??? So basically what I'm saying is that I was chicken shit for longer than I've been in love with this world that Developer Carrot has created kjzhhshggj. But OMG to get me, who is scared oh so easily to get hella invested in this clearly labeled horror game??????????????? And even with shit gets super absurd and hella disturbing, I cannot stop playing. At the time of this post, I'm only in Act 4, hence the category above, but it's only because I play each act in a sitting and lose track of space and time and myself. That's a compliment btw.

...

Okie!! That's 2023 in a nutshell! I played a looooot of really good games this year and while I would have liked to talk about them all, I think this list provides a nice overview.

Let me know if we share any favorites!

- Gemini 💛

[lovelyhan]

Kai hi! Don't know how and why but, I've been experiencing severe Seventeen brainrot in general so, I'm here to supply hard thoughts. (Also, I reread the JeongCheol x Reader trilogy you wrote and it remains a favourite of mine.)

I don't know who to start with so, I'll go with my man lol. The thought of being forced to cum on Cheol's ridiculously thick fingers makes me need to sit down. You know he'd be running his mouth too and, telling you how good you're doing for him.

the svt brainrot is well-deserved <3 and JAAHFJHD i'm so touched you reread inflection point thank you so much TT BUT HELLO? being forced to cum on cheol's fingers.... [kai.exe has stopped working]?!??!?

it kind of reminds me of the oneshot i wrote after he posted those pics on ig :| his fingers,,, what i'd do to get to cum around them /gen,, you can treat this drabble as a short continuation to that fic :3c

⟣ forced orgasm with cheol ⟢ wc: 0.8k words minors do not interact!

Choi Seungcheol is a man of his word.

When he tells you he'll pick you up at seven o'clock on a Friday evening despite his harrowing schedule, he'll pull up at the curb in front of your apartment with five minutes to spare. When he promises to call you every night he's away on tour, he'll phone you despite the time differences, and the fact that he sounds way too tired to be asking you about your day.

So when your boyfriend promises to stuff you full the next time you see each other, you know better than to call his bluff.

About twenty minutes since he hung up, you hear the telltale knocking on your door. You don't bother putting your underwear back on -- fully confident of the identity of your late-night visitor.

It's safe to say that when Seungcheol sees you behind the crack in the door wearing nothing but a flimsy tank top with your pert nipples straining against the fabric, you were completely at his mercy.

You don't even make it back to your room. Seungcheol simply brushes past you and makes himself comfortable on your couch -- dark eyes hooded with equal parts arousal and disappointment as he manspreads all over the cushions. Fuck.

"If I wasn't the one who was outside, what would've you done then?" he asks gruffly. "I didn't know you were such a fucking slut, princess. Answering the door wearing nothing but that top of yours. Might as well have done it naked."

You humor him with a laugh before striding over to take a seat on one of his thighs, making a mess of his sweatpants as you rub your needy pussy all over the fabric.

"That's just how badly I need you, Cheol," you whimper, sliding your hips against his thigh for the friction you've been craving since you saw those pictures he posted. When you feel those big, warm hands of his sliding up your thighs, you can't help the moan that spills from your lips.

"Turn around and sit on my lap," he commands, and you're much too willing to comply.

The moment your back is pressed against his broad chest, Seungcheol pries your legs apart -- gathering your slick between his fingers before prodding your lips with them. When your boyfriend whispers a quiet, "That's my girl," you practically preen at his praise.

And that's how you find yourself writhing on your boyfriend's lap as he fucks you open on his thick, large fingers -- whining and crying as your walls clamp down on each digit. Seungcheol deigned to start with three, as you've already loosened yourself up during that sultry phone call you shared before he came over, and he delights in how depraved you are from his mere fingers alone.

"Such a good fucking girl for me, aren't you?" he rasps, sinking those digits into your cunt before curling them just so. "You miss me that much, baby? Want to keep me all to yourself?"

"F-Fuck, Cheol!"

You can't even bring yourself to respond. He's so thick, and so, so deep, and he hasn't even brought out his dick yet. But when your brain manages to make you remember how you felt seeing all those fans thirsting for your boyfriend, you end up hissing through your teeth as you grind down on his hand.

"Mine, mine, mine. You're mine," you mewl, barely hearing the sound of Seungcheol's amused laughter before he smashes your lips together.

"All yours, princess," he whispers, and you cry out when those few, subtle words end up becoming the catalyst for your inevitable release.

But even as your walls spasm around his fingers, Seungcheol is relentless. He continues fucking into your cunt with unending fervor -- as if he means to engrave the idea of how much he's missed you as well into your body. You're practically twitching on his lap as he mumbles an incoherent string of words against the skin of your neck, but you're not exactly in the right headspace to tell him off.

"My beautiful baby, always so pretty when you cum for me," is what you first hear when the white noise finally recedes from your ears. You realize that you're still moving your hips despite the overstimulation, so fucking desperate to have any part of him inside you again. "You want more? I've fucked you stupid with my fingers alone, and you still want more?"

You do. You do want more.

"I remember a certain someone saying he'll blow my back out the moment he's back here with me," you sigh, tilting your head so you can kiss the corner of his mouth. "Is he going to make good on his promise?"

The ravenous glint in his eyes is enough of an answer. After all...

Choi Seungcheol is a man of his word.

[heliswife]

jake x a reader who hates him and avoids him because he reminds them of someone they hate but when they are forced to hang out they realize that they actually have a lot of chemistry…..,,. take ur time btw no rush

TBIS IS A FIRE IDEA ACTUALLY!!! TY POOKIE!!! those following for pjsk fics sorry but the brainrot is taking over <3 plus writing for other fandoms is a nice break from pjsk :3 this is a non-idol au thing ig 🤭

@onthat611beat hope you like it ♡

Your ex-friend used to have a massive crush on Jake. She would rant about him all the time, saying stuff such as "we were meant to be!" or "he looked at me, he wants me bad!"

You were sick of it, and by the time you cut contact with her, you didn't want to hear anything about Jake again. You avoided him in the halls and in your classes, memories of that friend coming back whenever you looked at him.

"Y/N! There's this guy I'm sort of interested in, and he wants to have a study group with us and some of his friends!" Your best friend and roommate grinned.

"Who is it?" You asked her, secretly praying it wasn't going to be a repeat of what happened with your ex-friend.

"His name is Riki, look!" Your friend showed you a picture of the guy she liked. He didn't seem bad. And your friend seemed normal enough about him.

"Yeah, he's cute. Sure, I'll go to the study group with you."

The next day, when you walked in the café you guys decided to meet up in, you saw Riki, your bestie, and...

"Y/n, this is Jaeyun. He's in the grade above you, right?"

"Mhm, nice to meet you, y/n. You can call me Jake." He flashed a warm smile at you. It made your stomach churn with how nice he was to you.

Memories of your ex-friend and her toxicity flooded your brain, yet you pulled yourself together and held your hand out. "Nice to meet you, Jake!"

His hand was warm. You were sort of understanding why your ex-friend liked Jake now.

The study group went surprisingly smoothly, with you exchanging numbers with the two boys and leaving with a stomach full of sweets.

You explained to your bestie the situation between you and your ex-friend, how she was in love with Jake and how she was a huge asshole towards you.

"Is that why you looked shocked when you saw him?" She asked.

You nodded. "Was it that obvious? God, I really hope I didn't give him a bad impression of me..."

"Don't worry, y/n, it wasn't that obvious." Your friend said before being interrupted by the ding of your phone. An unknown number.

hey y/n this is jake from the study group i just remembered i had your number lol

"It's Jake. Whenever I think of him, I think of my ex-friend and then I start feeling sick. Should I answer?" Your finger hovered above the message icon.

"Yes, duh? Forget about that shitty girl, that's in the past. It's time to move on and forget about her, y/n."

"Hm.. You're right. I'll respond. I know it's been half a year, but it's hard to get over it." Your fingers rapidly typed and backspace until you found a response you would send to him.

hi jake!! dw abt it, im glad you texted me

"I literally can't do this bestie, what if he hates me? Fuck, that message sounded so cringy." The worst case scenarios flashed in your eyes.

"He doesn't. Read the message he just sent, I don't think anyone who hates you would send that."

do you wanna go get lunch with me tomorrow? i wanna talk to you more, you seem chill 😄 also your friend likes riki right? she makes it obvious

"I DO?" Your best friend gasped. When you agreed, your friend threw her head back, landing on one of the soft pillows of your bed. "It's fine, I'll deal with it later. Back to you, y/n~"

"Oh lord."

"You should go with Jake! He's asking you out on a date!"

"He is?" You reread the message. "Oh shit, he is."

"Y/n l/n, you are a total loser. Your life is so boring, like, you've never been in a relationship? You should go. It'll make your life interesting."

"Geez, you're such a nice friend." You rolled your eyes.

yeah ofc!! where & when?

is noon at the pizza place near the cafe alright with you?

mhm, see u there :)

You turned your phone off and let your brain process what was happening.

The only knowledge you've had of Jake prior to this was from your ex-friend, and she looked at him with rose-colored glasses. You were going on a date with the very person your ex-friend was head over heels for.

Fast-forward to the next day, you put on an outfit you deemed worthy for an outing and exited the house. You hoped your bestie wouldn't blow up the house.

Once you arrived at the pizza place, you spotted Jake waiting outside, scrolling on his phone.

"Jake!" You called, and his head perked up, smiling wide as he waved to you, "I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long!"

"Y/n! Don't worry about it, I just got here anyways, let's go in and order, 'kay?" It wasn't even a sort of anymore. You were definitely understanding why your ex-friend was obsessed with Jake.

Your eyes couldn't leave Jake as he ordered a pizza and drinks for you both, and you didn't even process the question he asked you until he pointed out your lack of response.

"Sorry, I just feel... I don't know, out of it? Could be nerves," You awkwardly laughed.

Jake only cocked his head his face painted with a confused expression before giving you a small grin. "I get it, nerves do that to me too. So, um, what do you like to do?"

"I- I like writing?"

"That's cool, do you think you could ever show me one of your stories?" When he noticed your eyes widening, he laughed, "I'm kidding, you don't have to show me if you don't want to."

The pizza came, and you two chatted about anything you could think of. You talked about your friends antics and he talked about his. He even showed you a picture of his cute dog.

"Y/n, if you don't want to answer this, it's fine, but why did you ignore me before you were forced to see me at the café. Did I do anything wrong?"

Shit. Now you were forced to talk about your past with your ex-friend. "I had a friend who used to like you. You were all she would talk about, and it was getting annoying. She was an asshole too. After we stopped being friends, I didn't want to be reminded of her, and you happened to be one of the things that reminded me of her. I feel bad about ignoring you, since you're a great guy."

"Oh, it was *****, yeah? I remember her." Hearing her name made you feel lightheaded. "I'm sorry you had to deal with that. If it makes you better, I never liked her much."

"Seriously?"

"Yup, you want to head back to my dorm? I could show you my lego collection?"

"Sure," You giggled, getting up out of your seat in the booth, Jake following suit. You felt a sense of relief knowing that Jake didn't like your ex-friend.

As you two were walking back, gray clouds started to gather. A few rain droplets fell on your face before the downpour began. You and Jake looked at each other before Jake took your hand and started running to his dorm, dragging you along.

Once you guys made it, you were both soaking wet and panting. "I wasn't expecting it to rain, sorry.."

"It's okay. I really enjoyed your company..."

Silence filled the room. Jake's hand was still holding yours. "Y/n... may I..?"

"Please, Jaeyun."

His lips pressed onto yours, and even if it was for a second, it felt like time stopped. It was just you and him in this little world.

"Tomorrow, I'll take you on a real date, when it isn't raining. We could go wherever, just tell me," Jake told you when the kiss ended.

"Let's hope it isn't raining tomorrow, promise we'll go wherever?"

"I pinky promise, dear." He held out his pinky, and you intertwined it with yours.

This was the start of a new chapter, a chapter without her, and you had someone, who although gave you bad memories from the previous chapter, would be by your side.

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

Just want to say: a, I admire very much that you've figured out a healthy way to work on your fics that allows you to have fun with it. And also b, am very excited to hear that you are getting there with pez! It has fully given me brain rot ever since I read it last year, there is just such a lack of content for the highly specific trope of using time travel as a device to explore extremely unhealthy levels of self loathing.

I just adore everything you're doing in it. Neither midoriya is anywhere approaching okay for any portion of the fic and I love rereading and mining into all the subtle characterization pointing to that. It's a bit like nhtycth in that some really goofy funny stuff is often hiding some really fucking worrying things, but the fact that characters DO do that stuff—that todoroki uses his teaspoon's worth of extremely stunted social skills to bludgeon his friend's door open and help him, that a rpf shipping war is an actual source of drama despite how goofy the sentiment seems on the surface, that about half of what jon says is deeply worrying and the other half is extremely funny and there's a lot of overlap between the two—really lifts the tension and brightens the universe. It's sort of similar to what you did with gerry, in that endless misery isn't nearly as painful as the ups and downs of a life that, when you step back and zoom out, has something deeply and horribly wrong with it.

(jon sort of reminds me of spider-man in that he uses human to deal with trauma and stress, except I don't think he at any point realizes how fucking funny he is. He's just there, in a home depot, gnashing his teeth because he's got so many bodies to dispose of and this cashier sure is taking her time.)

I really, really, really have had trouble finding fics that take everything midoriya has dealt with to task. It's a hell of a thing to live 14 years as a disabled minority, have it heavily shape your existence, and then one day you wake up and you realize you're...not that, or at least, nobody will ever acknowledge you as that again. You've lost all claim to it. Those experiences that shaped who you are? Dust in the wind. 14 years of pain and life might as well be buried in the ground for all the good they do you. Nobody's going to cut you any slack or quarter, you've gotta simply work harder, be better. And now when you do that you get the results you wanted, so that's fine, then. That's good. There was something wrong with the you before, and there's something right with the you now, and if the transition is a little rough, well that doesn't matter, you're the same as everyone else now, so it's your own job to fill in whatever gaps you need to.

I really can't get over how mentally fucked it must be for midoriya to run into quirkless people, run across quirkless issues, and be silently caught between, incapable of speaking his mind and too scared to do so anyway around those he can trust.

Also I should mention, I'm just very excited for bakugou to get back from the gym. He's been there like a year I hope he's getting a good workout in.

Me realizing that it’s been a year since pez dispenser debris:

I feel like there’s just this very specific type of grief that Izuku has to grapple with in the span of pez dispenser debris that I’m just obsessed with. He’s sort of silently mourning who he could have been, when 1) he has to present like there’s nothing lost to maintain his secret and 2) the entire world is constantly inundating him with the message that there was nothing lost.

Like. I don’t want to get too deep into it because it risks spoiling things and I do have major plans to continue it (I’ve loved this story for so many years before I ever even hit publish), but the emotion that Izuku’s feeling right now is so much more complex than “I hate who I used to be and want him to stop existing” or “I just want to keep my secrets.” And I think the way he interacts with Mirio is the biggest evidence of that.

Izuku’s placed himself at the very center of the Quirklessness debate with his support of Mirio. He fights for Quirkless heroes, very publicly, to the point where he’s not even graduated yet but considered to be one of the most prominent voices on the matter. If you took a poll of Quirkless people as to which hero would be most supportive of them pursing their own career in heroics, Izuku would be right at the top of the list. When it comes to Quirklessness itself, he’s nothing but supportive.

But he didn’t tell Mirio the truth of his own Quirklessness.

Out of everyone, Mirio’s the one everyone expects to know, despite him being a relatively newer relationship compared to someone like Iida or Uraraka or Todoroki. And I tried to imply that he’s sort of the one who knows the most about Izuku out of everyone save All Might.

Like, we’ll get into how much exactly Mirio knows soon, so I won’t divulge what, if anything, Izuku has told him. But we know that Mirio knows, weirdly enough, that Izuku is deeply fucking haunted. He knows that boy has many violent ghosts in his bones. He finds it hilarious and will tell their realtor about it. Izuku told him about the discontent spirits who died in a violent passion and live on inside of him before he told him about his Quirklessness.

And I just feel like one of those things is a little bit easier to discuss than the other.

Izuku has decided to keep his own Quirklessness quiet in a way that surpasses secrecy about One for All. If it was just about OfA, he could tell people he didn’t get his quirk until the entrance exam, and it wouldn’t even be a lie. He’s purposefully obscuring his own past as Quirkless even as he takes a forefront of the Quirkless hero debate with his open support of Mirio.

And the fact that he’s at the forefront of this debate in and of itself requires a difficult dichotomy. He is the world’s most vocal proponent for the first Quirkless hero. He is a known figure in the Quirkless community now.

He isn’t considered one of them anymore. He’s an outsider coming in.

It must be such a strange, odd sort of grief to come to the people you were home amongst for most of your life and be greeted as a stranger. To return home, and to be welcomed in for the first time, and to not even be able to tell people that you’ve lived here all your life and don’t need a tour.

It’s a sort of death of self, I think. And I think Izuku never expected to have to grapple with his own ghost.

[northlight14]

@ everyone going back to school, especially all my fellow neurodivergents and specifically those with special interests or hyperfixations, there is no wrong way of revising! It doesn’t matter if it seems “unusual” to other people, if it works for you, use it!!

I just finished collage and because of my funky brain, I can have a difficult time remembering information, especially things like names and specific details. And considering a lot of the classes I was taking required me to remember a lot of different theories, that was proving to be a bit of an issue. Cut to when we were getting up to our A level mocks and my English literature teacher at the time starts going round the entire classroom asking everyone how they revise one by one. Everyone’s saying the usual stuff of “I reread the material” “I use flash cards” “I make notes” etc. All stuff I’ve tried to do in the past but just never worked for me because my brain functions differently. She then gets to me and asks how I revise and I explain that I’ll try and make connections in my brain between the thing I’m studying and whatever my interests are. I’ve always found this to be useful for me because it keeps my brain interested in what I’m studying by using my special interests and also requires me to actively think about and analyse what I’m studying so that I can make those connections. However, my teacher just looked at me with the most condescending smile on her face and asked “does that really work?” Obviously I got uncomfortable and said “yeah it does” but she then proceeded to ask “do you do anything else?” And making it out as if I was an idiot for doing something like that and just making me feel embarrassed in front of the class. Eventually, I just said one of the generic answers everyone else had so she’d leave me alone.

However, I’m petty as hell so when it came to the mocks I used that method to memorise one of my theories for media studies. Cut to that theory being the one that stuck in my head the most, just proving to me that this method my teacher decided “doesn’t work” without actually listening to me, does in fact work for me. Fast forward to my actual A Levels and I used that method again. Ace Attorney had just become my new special interest/hyperfixation so I used that for a lot of the theories. Specifically, one of the theories I linked it to “The Steel Samurai”, a tv show within the Ace Attorney universe. Then when I went into my exam I saw a theory question. For those who don’t know, for theory questions they just ask you to apply a theory to a specific text but they only name the theory, they don’t tell you what the theory includes. While at first wasn’t sure what the theory was and went to answer another question, I then quickly remembered “the steel samurai” and even wrote down “the steel samurai” next to the question as a reminder for myself for when I went to answer it and it helped a lot as a prompt. Once again, the method my teacher decided “didn’t work” was the very reason I was able to answer that question and passed my media exam

Again, it doesn’t matter what other people’s opinions are on how you revise, if it works for you, please use it! You know your brain better than anyone else. Do whatever helps you understand the material and keeps your brain engaged

[the-s1lly-corner]

Helloo! I hope you’re having a good day!

I have a request! ^^ (i literally love your writing sm!) I was wondering if you can do head canons of Laughing Jack x Tomie Kawakami like reader? Like the reader having Tomies powers and her beauty?

Please take care of yourself and drink a lot of water! <33

LJ w/ a S/O who's like Tomie!

YAHOO!! this just reminds me i need to get back into junji itos stuff :O i got a physical copy of uzumaki last year; loved it!! gotta reread it soon and dive into the other stuff !!! i admit i haven't read tomie's bits yet, my only info/exposure to her is based around how she was in the anime adaptations, an infodump from a friend ab 3-4 years ago, and a character wiki so i apologize in advance for any inaccurates/misunderstandings on how the abilities work! other than that, i hope you enjoy!

Im not even going to lie I think this dude would think it's a little amusing how people will literally commit dozens of crimes just for you to look their way

i personally dont think he would be affected by your natural seduction thing, mostly in part due to him not being a human, he still thinks your pretty!

he probably calls you doll or some other variation of it because of your appearance

that said lj does have a bit of a jealousy problem, even without a partner that automatically charms everyone around them. bro has abandonment issues and doesnt like sharing at all. sure, hell try to look past it but he hates the way other people fawn and swoon! depending on what kind of reader we're going with, say, one that also k(r)ills for one reason or another he'll *try* to keep it together but boy, does it get hard when you feed into the people's insanity

but that's probably a whole thing for another post since you specified abilities :O!! not sure if you wanted the s/o to fully lean into it or do something else

so some other ideas to fill the post !

first time he sees you die he will freak out

like

he doesnt know youll come back, and as morbid and horrible sounds he'd probably hang on to your corpse until you just

pop back

funny joke haha thing imagine he's lamenting over you and you just. pop back up all "aww you love me :3??"

love little haha funny shit like that

anyways

overall it doesnt mix well with his jealousy and stuff, he doesnt like sharing! nope, not at all

but perhaps you can win him over with some much needed affection and a lotta reassurance

in several ways

winks

god no because

idk

my brain is melting as we speak im so sorry

[bubacorn]

What if I asked you for your nd vessels hc's?

This is a photo of my brain worm, btw♡

Oh, gods, they are so scattered in my brain and I feel like I forgot most of them, but here's a few that come to mind right now:

rsd hits Vessel and III hard. Vessel shuts down and stops talking, and can take the wrong wording and tone really seriously, so it can happen that the others just worded something wrong when they weren't paying that much attention and Vessel thinks that he did something wrong. III sometimes feels that he is a bother and tries pulling away, then feels guilty for doing that and needs a lot of reassurance that he's not too much

my autistic!Vessel hc is that he can cook, but likes baking more. if he does cook, he needs straightforward instructions and when the others start throwing around 'pinch'es and 'some's, he quickly gives up and leaves it to them. maybe he gets a little sensitive about it and lets them cook most of the time, so they can season to their taste, but they try to transcribe their recipes so he can follow written measurements

at one point I was like: I bet Vessel has really bad misophonia, then I remembered Vore, so that hc is standing on a shaky foundation

plushies!!! the manor is a plushie household. I would say all of them have their own favorites that they squish/hug when watching TV or rub when in need of stimulation/soothing

II needs his spaces organized, otherwise he can't think. he's prone to taking on too much and getting intense anxiety/panic attacks from task-overwhelm and the others constantly have to gently remind him to take it easy

III has a bunch of fidget toys and rings he spins on his fingers (definitely not borrowed from Vessel. he also plays with the ones on Vessel's fingers, too, if they sit together)

Vessel is really good at pattern-recognition, and loves symmetry in most things. tapping fingers has to be to a certain rhythm and it has to be repeated an exact number of times or else it's off

III gets attached to objects, mostly things he found (cool stones and stuff) and gifts from the others

II taps his foot and plays an imaginary double bass sometimes

IV loves to-do lists and having tasks organized. it keeps his anxiety at bay, because it minimizes the chance that he forgot something

Vessel and IV like shopping the least out of the four. Vessel gets overwhelmed by choices and people, and feels anxious about lingering in the store, because he feels that he's in the way/looks weird. IV wears noise-cancelling headphones most times and gives Ves the shopping list so he can focus on that and they can get it done quickly. also they all encourage each other to get little treats and buy food if they get hungry, so no one is grouchy on the way home/if they still have to cook

also, shopping trip panic attacks mean at least one person goes to the car with the one panicking, and the others finish. if it's the two of them, they abandon shopping to make sure the other is okay. comfort and safety first. shopping can wait. there's no snapping/being annoyed about having to go back some other time

this became a bit rambly, sorry about that. I don't really hc specific conditions/disorders, rather symptoms, I guess and it seems most of the time I let my brain sneak in stuff unconsciously into my writing that I realize while editing/rereading and go 'wait a minute'

what if we kissed. and we were both worms on strings. *smooches you for this ask* 💖

[carmenized-onions]

Oh we were fed good today. I obsessively check on this story and was so surprised this morning.

Ya had me crying in my bed like a baby on a Wednesday morning.

Jeez, this chapter was intense. In a fantastic way! Your brain is so big and I am in awe of your talent!

I’m definitely going to reread this whole story and come back with my theories so keep an eye out.

For now let’s hit some quick headlines.

1. Carmey deserves to get a good slap to the back of the neck. Self destruction mode was at a record breaking high.

2. You write guilt and sorrow so well, it genuinely made my stomach hurt. Not to get too personal but I had a friend take their life and the survivors guilt is intense. This chapter brought up some real emotions.

3. Richie x Tony remind me of how you’d defend a sibling in a fight. The way they would both go to war for each other, wow wow wowie wow.

4. Earlier I couldn’t see the Tony x Syd ship but boy can I see it now. Happy pride!!

5. Leaving the number to the chef up to Carmey was devious. I love it.

Love it, love you, hope you have a great day!

It took me. Forever to get to this one thank you FOR WAITINNN

First of all-- If you haven't read Something to Do yet-- PLEASE do babe I WANNA KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS SO BAD I LOVE YOUR BRAIN!!! I LOVE THE WAY YOUR BRAIN INTERACTS WITH MY BRAIN!!! THIS IS US!!!

Anyways. Into the headlines of Just Dropped we go.

Category FIVE LEVEL DESTRUCTION!!! I think I really compacted like a whole kind of like-- Season honestly of Bad Behaviour Carmen into one day and it really did make for the most unstable motherfucker of ALL time

!! I am simultaneously sorry and thankful to hear it resonated-- I think this chapter is very special to me for the way it shows like the three different forms of survivor's guilt and grief-- Like the way Richie/Carmy/Tony held it down VERY differently. And then two outta three of them being able to reconcile over it... It's just very special to me, and I'm both sad and glad we got that sick feeling out of it-- I know you know what I mean. Again. See above photo.

EXACTLY!!! EXACTLY!!! I think those two are very like,,, This is so fucking stupid but they're like everything to each other? Richie and Tony I mean? Like that's my fucking best friend and my dad and also my brother and my road dog and my divorced husband and also my regular husband. They're just kinda? All the stuff. All the stuff, I think. I wish I wrote Carmen getting grand slammed. There's still time ig.

LETS GO WE GOT A SQUID INK CONVERSION BOYS SOUND THE ALARM!!!! They were awful cute, in this chapter. They're cute in every chapter but like-- Ah. Syd grabs Tony's face so much. Twice but like. That's like so much. I love em.

I HADDD TOOOOO, I think as unpetty as Tony was trying to be, that was her one that she got to have. Like she earned that. And it's a good litmus test! You gonna let yourself get fuckin cucked carmy come on!!!! sock that fuckin guy!!!

LOVED THIS love you HOPE YOU'VE HAD A GOOD COUPLE WEEKS SINCE SENDING THIS AGAIN SORRY IM LATEEE

[zepskies]

Hey Zep!

I love your writing, especially been enjoying the Soldier Boy series stuff and the latest with Smoke Eater!

(Btw are you taking inspiration from One Chicago (Fire, PD, Med) with it? If so kudos and I love it, big fans of those series myself 😊)

Anyway! I’ve really been enjoying your works, been pouring through them and the stuff you have on AO3. I also thought your tips for writing were super helpful!

I’m back to writing myself after a long ass break, but always struggle keeping inspiration so a lot of my work sometimes goes unfinished. I’d like to ask how you keep motivated and continue a fic even if sometimes you’re not into it? Do you have any tips or tricks?

Thank you and again, love your work!

Hey there, lovely!! ❤️

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked Break Me Down and are enjoying Smoke Eater too! ❤️‍🔥

(Oh yes, indeed I am! 😊 I love all things Law & Order and One Chicago. I based firefighter!Dean on Lt. Matt Casey in Chicago Fire, with a little Severide flair lol.)

Thank you again for reading my work, both here and on Ao3!! I'm also glad that my writing tips have been helpful to you in any way. I came back to Tumblr and writing in general after about a year break myself, so I feel you there.

I absolutely LOVE your question though...

Because it's something I still battle with myself. I think all of us writers and artists struggle to stay motivated, no matter how much we love our craft. I do, however, have a few tips that help me immensely.

5 Tips to Stay Motivated to Write:

Be organized. Create a realistic, attainable schedule. ✍️

My brain works in checklists, bullet points, very methodical. I can't write chapter five before chapter 1. I can't write a series (even a mini series or a long one-shot) without outlining first.

So my first step is creating a schedule for myself: from sketching the premise, to bullet points/outlining, to actually sitting down to draft, to then editing. When I'm working on a series, I write the first 3 to 5 chapters before starting post it.

This means I have a head start. I commit to writing a chapter per week after that until the series is done. This give me lots of time and wiggle room for editing before posting each chapter afterwards. For example, I wrote the first 5 chapters of Smoke Eater before I started to post. I'm now in the middle of drafting Part 19 out of 20 even though I just posted Part 11.

Now, this doesn't mean I don't slack off lol. If I don't follow these steps I lose my discipline. I can get lazy. (We won't talk about And So It Goes. 😅 I've been sitting on writing the last 5 chapters for a painfully long time.)

But I have other tips that help me get my head back into the game.

2. Revisit the thing that gave you inspiration in the first place! 🍿

Rewatch, reread, revisit the episode, movie, book, story, artwork that stroked your muse and had you daydreaming and brainstorming about the WIP you're working on. That can be a good way to revitalize you when you feel your motivation lacking.

3. Create a music playlist. 🎶

I love doing this, especially for a series. I often create a playlist of songs that remind me of the setting, the characters, the romance I'm trying to create. Whether it's the words or the tone/rhythm that get me going, music inspires me greatly.

(For Break Me Down, for example, I listened to songs like "All My Living Time" by Radio Company for the vibe of the plot, and oldies like "If I Didn't Care" and "You're Getting to Be a Habit With Me" by Mel Torme for nostalgic 40s vibes/the romance.)

4. Go for a walk. ☀️

I walk for exercise, but it also gives me time to daydream and run scenes in my head while vibing to my music (sometimes looking like a crazy person as I nod and make hand motions lmao). This helps me clear my head, get some fresh air, then come back to my laptop with a little more pep in my brain, ready to write.

5. Encouragement and feedback from others. 💞

This really helps, of course. Whether it's someone you trust to read over your work, or seeing how people react to your initial chapters after you post them. Both can be very motivating to keep going, at least for me!

And I'll be transparent, I've gotten a bit fatigued while writing the back half of Smoke Eater. I have a lot going on at work and my personal life at the moment. But seeing how people have been commenting and giving feedback on each chapter -- the mystery, the connection between Dean and the reader, the various storylines happening -- it's been incredibly motivating for me to read those back and remember that people are enjoying what I'm coming up with. It helps give me the push I need to get the rough draft out.

And a rough draft doesn't have to be perfect on the first try. That's why it's rough. I call it the "throw up draft." Just get it on the page. The editing process is where I truly find the nuance in the dialogue, refine the plot, exposition, etc.

Anyway. I'm long-winded again, as usual. 😂

I hope this helps you! If you have any other writing questions just let me know. I love talking about this stuff! 💕

[monstersinthecosmos]

🔮

🔮 Any advice for writers working through burnout or writer’s block?

!!!! Yes, absolutely.

I have three main approaches to this for myself, and I know everyone's brains and writing habits are different so yknow like take it or leave it or modify it to your own needs but here's three things I always fall back on when I'm stuck.

Be kind to yourself.

Be honest with yourself. Is there a reason the writing needs to be done NOW? You are not a machine. If it's not there, it's not there. Obviously this doesn't apply if you have deadlines to meet but if you're writing for fun, don't get so twisted up about it that it's not fun anymore. WHAT ARE WE DOIN HERE FELLAS?! It's okay to take a break and recover until it feels right again, you don't have to fill a quota.

Set extremely small goals.

I try to write 100 words a day because I have ADHD and I get crazy burnout and/or I go into creative frenzies where I binge write for 3 days and don't do the dishes. There's a balance in here somewhere lol. An easy goal and a routine can help a lot. 100 words is a joke. But there are days where it's a HUGE struggle. But it's still doable, and I walk away feeling like I chiseled away at the idea a little bit.

I can't stress enough that you can't push yourself THROUGH burnout, and this can go to any type of burnout. (I feel this way about house keeping too LOL). You're drawing from an empty well. Be honest with yourself, be kind to yourself, set a realistic goal. If you're burnt out you're not gonna sit down and crank out 2k in an evening, you just aren't, and if you try to force it you're just gonna feel worse when you can't do it. Be gentle. Make easy goals. Ease yourself back into it.

And don't forget, sometimes chiseling away is just exactly what you need to do. I sometimes go weeks where I put in 100 words at a time on a fic and then finally I make it through the hard part and 6k floods out of me all at once. Chiseling away is good. You will find your way back when you get through the hard part.

(Also, even if you're chiseling away with garbgae & nonsense, that's okay! You can edit it later! A sloppy first draft is better than no draft!)

Refill the well.

Speaking of drawing from an empty well; creativity requires an input and an output, imo. That's my personal opinion!! Sometimes you need to take a break and work on the input stream, too. Take a week where you watch a movie every night instead of trying to write. Reread a book from an author you admire. Stare at some paintings. Listen to your headphones in the dark, whatever the fuck it is !

You're running on empty! And it's not just the basic human energy to function! It's the creativity! It's the inspiration! If you're writing a fic, revisit the source! Remind yourself why you like it! If a movie or song or picture gave you the idea for your fic, go back to that! Absorb it, replenish yourself!!!!!

I know sometimes when I talk writing stuff that I speak about it more like, idk philosophically? And I know others might have technical advice, like write scenes out of order, change the font, sit in a different area of the house, find a friend to cheerlead! All of those things can work, too, and I try them sometimes. ((I have more to say about this and about how outlines are my lord & savior when writing with ADHD and trying to chisel away a scene at a time)) But like, all of that I think is a bit secondary to just being kind to yourself and taking care of your mental health first and getting yourself back into a place where you CAN be creative and find that drive again.

My life would be a fucking shambles if I couldn't make lil routines for myself with the ADHD and Brain Problems and whatnot and I leave myself an hour every day to write, right before bedtime! 9-10pm every night I'm CLOCKIN IN! And for me it's like a lil reward at the end of the day, so that I can like unwind, end the day, stop worrying about whatever else I didn't get done, etc. Making space for it as a fun activity and a reward is essential for me, and I still get stuck sometimes, but going back to these ideas helps me a lot!!!!!!!!!!!

[bromcommie]

for the ask game: ✨ 🦅 🤲 !

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

Why would you do this to me.............

Jk actually this is good exposure therapy, no matter how profusely it makes me sweat. I don't really know what to say, except maybe: my writing has progressed a lot in the last few years, and I'm proud of that. And sometimes I feel really guilty or silly when I think about the sheer number of hours I've put in writing the same piece of fanfic over and over, or looking up synonyms, or researching 6000 super specific topics. But then I reread a piece I wrote two years ago or my first script from college or even further back, and I think: huh. It was worth it. And looking back on that is a good feeling I think I definitely need to focus on more.

And I really like the way I write dialogue now! And peppering in stuff from the things I research. I don't always know how well it lands, but I sure love doing it.

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

I've only ever tried outlining orpheus but that ended up backfiring sooooo seat of my pants, babey! (said through grited teeth, as I try to make sense of a 1001 post-it notes scattered around my brain and figure out where the fuck I'm going with my current wip) I do need to start doing that more. 🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

He’s picked apart very little other than the inexplicable, acute urge to give the man what he wants – so that he gives up, probably, so that he leaves him alone. So that he stops looking at his friend with hollow eyes, maybe.

It’s all a moot point, of course. He can’t give Rogers what he wants, because what Rogers wants is catharsis, is a closure, and those things are for the living. That’s why man came up with God and philosophy and fate and funerals in the first place – to find a reason for and a way out of grief.

The man who is not the Asset knows he is not dead; he’s reminded of it every time he wakes up to the pounding rush of his own heartbeat in his ears. He’s just not sure he’s really anything else, either.

What is a ghost? An inverse picture, a still-open wound. Recognition without recollection, meaning: a negative space. Trying to find one safe place to cling to in a world no longer meant for you, meaning: to haunt.

What is a person? A choice, a life; many choices, many lives. Evolution, meaning: memory, rewriting itself into something new.

He thinks he could do that, if that’s what it took.

[distant--shadow]

get to know meme

lil thing where I'll give a bit too much detail so it fills its purpose, honoured honestly to be tagged by three of my favourite writers in this space @sharkodactyl, @unicyclehippo , and @astoriacolumnstaircase - anyone reading this should be reading their works instead.

favourite colour: brown(s), like a mid to a dark tone, i like them to have a bit of red involved. like our old-boy chet, I love the wood. my dream home would be all wood-panelled with built in inlayed and set back shelves and nooks a plenty and yeah just full of brik-a-brak. otherwise my favourite colours are navy blue and greens that are more mixed with blue than yellow, teals and emeralds and once again generally around the mid tones. green makes me very happy. moss and outdoors and all that.

currently reading: fic. haha. (suss my recommend reading tag) I did venture out to my (very) local queer bookshop and asked them for something that won't send me on a spiral if I'm already on one/provide some escapism and they reccomended river of teeth by Sarah gailey. anyone I've said about it to seems real enthusiastic about it, I am not well read at all when it comes to published things, tend to just get really into a few fandom authors works and picking them apart (rereading a lot) . still haven't started it but maybe I'll try take it out to the park in the next week or so. I'm dabbling in reading (and unfortunately writing) poetry thanks to @picturesofthegoneworlds and @blorbotomy 's influence, those mini books are fun to keep on you when out and about, poem or two on a tree stump or boulder with a grand vista and a brain that wants eyes on a phone screen.

last song: last song I consciously (not background music) listened to was:

I went on an early lord snow stint the other night because the air smelt crisp and there was a nice chill. they have remained my favourite heavy (as a broad term) band for a decade now.

I used to have music on all of the time, whether that be cd's at home or in my mp3 player (that I still take out with me) but these days I find listening more of an intentional activity and I prefer to have people just nattering when I'm at home and want background noise. think it's where my heads at and I've just got more sensitive to being overstimulated I guess. I was also pretty good at going to a live gig at least once a week before I did my back in, looking forward to getting into that habit again.

last series: I don't watch much stuff outside of critical role, least other than YouTube videos I'll put on whislt I'm drawing. oh wait yeah I ordered 3 seasons of xena on ebay because it's like a couple of quid a season and it is a real good comfort show and fucking amazing. I hadn't seen it since I was pre teen and it was on day time TV and I'd catch it on sick days. the amount of people I've brought it up to these past few months who've been so stoked to be reminded of it/eager to watch it with me is actually hilarious.

last movie: uhhhh God movies I watch even less. I haven't been to a cinema in over 12 years now, just not my thing, and it's funny caus my mum used to work in the film and TV industry and we had shelves and shelves full of VHS growing up (mostly bootlegged) and she can just ramble about pretty much any early era film up to the stuff from the 80s (when she was working on em) for days. never could sit through em, never felt satisfied with how the story went. guess that's why actual play appeals to me. but saying all this I did rewatch Bound for the first time since I was like 15 last month or so, enjoyed it a lot more than I did back then.

sweet/savory/spicy: savory all day. I am a salt fiend. I used to think I'd be fortunate enough to die from my salt intake. I'll put it on anything. cereal, toast, fruit. I think the other day I noted the one thing I wouldn't put it on, but I can't recall that right now honestly. it's gotta be decent salt too, sea salt or rock salt that has some texture and delicious flavour, I'm not fucking with that table salt shit. I carry salt with me in a mini mason jar everywhere I go, saves when you only have access to bland cold supermarket food. one of my earliest memories is when I was like 6 I had had my daily 1 glass allowance of squash/fruit cordial in my white Tom and Jerry printed beaker with the accordion bendy straw and so when I was pouring myself a glass of water from the tap I put salt in it caus I wanted flavour that would not show through the white translucent container. it's all been downhill from there, although I also, luckily I guess caus otherwise I would be really fucked, do drink a lot of water.

currently working on: myself and healing. hah. I never realised how much paperwork and phone calls came with this maintenance shit. I'm still out of work, and my mental health has taken a huge hit from not being able to do the things I usually would. so right now I'm just trying to keep everything together. I can draw again though, so sorry about that.

I never know who to tag in these things caus I don't think everyone wants to do them. so I'll go with this being open invite as always. hope anyone who read this far is having a good week, and sentiment is still there even if you didn't read this (unless you don't deserve my well wishes, then fuck you.)

[sayakxmi]

[Magi reread] Night 74: Something Sublime

Bro, my heart is not ready. But let's go.

1 - I was like "man, Cassim's just living his worst life ever, and then my brain was like, yeah, that's kinda the point..."

2 - Once again, Cassim contributed to Alibaba living that kind of life. And "you [...] wanted to lead a legitimate life" is bullshit. Alibaba had offered to help Cassim & his troupe, it was Cassim who told him not to. And Alibaba listened. But it's not like Alibaba's been actually all that concerned about staying pure and shit.

It's a huge theme for Alibaba, tbh, just people assuming things about him. I'm especially thinking aboout Cassim and Hakuryuu, but you could probably add Sinbad if you really wanted. They have this idea of Alibaba, who is a pure and naive child, and they look down on him, and in hindsight, it makes sense that there's envy involved. Why were they treated differently by fate? Why was it Alibaba who was allowed to remain innocent? This happy-go-lucky idiot? They really delude themselves into believing all that stuff, too lost in their self-hatred and despair to actually confront the reality of them being just plainly fucking wrong about it.

A small reminder that this is something that happens not that long after Cassim had killed his father, and, yeah, I know I kinda criticize the guy a lot, but I can't fully blame him. At least for the feelings. Like, yeah, no shit he needed Alibaba to stay that pure child, a beam of light, Alibaba and Mariam, really. If they were gone, if the world destroyed that light, then what was the point of that world in the first place? It was just awful, end of story. Why keep living in it?

Whether either of them had realized that, Alibaba was giving Cassim hope, especially after Anise and Mariam had died. Hope that there were still good things in this world.

But just as he needed Alibaba to remian that innocent child, he also needed Alibaba to fall. He needed him to fall, because he fell, and if Alibaba went through the same hell as he did but didn't turn out like him, then that means... Cassim could've, too. It meant Cassim was right to hate himself, that there was always something wrong with him.

And he created that narrative in his head to justify giving up on himself. It was easier, after all, than to keep trying over and over again.

But you know who kept trying? Alibaba. Cassim thinks the slums (or any other tragedies in his life) didn't influence him in any way, but that's wrong. Alibaba is extremely insecure & he hates himself, too, but not to the point of giving up completely.

But at the same time, Cassim isn't completely wrong. Fate set him up for failure by giving him that scum of a father, who abused him until he disappeared, while Alibaba had a loving mother who kept him safe. Cassim was severly traumatized, and it was something that never healed. He was a fucking child.

Like, bro, I have so many thoughts about it all, I just struggle to convey it right now. It's such a mess that cannot be perceived as good-vs-evil dilema, bc it's not. It's too complicated for that. You can see where everybody's coming from, and even though you can't condone Cassim's actions,you can at least understand why it happened. What led him to that place. And you can't fucking blame Alibaba for not doing more, because he was a goddamn child, too.

Two victims of circumstances, too young for any of this and living in a world that just didn't care about them. It was always going to end in tragedy.

It is unfair. It's extremely, extremely unfair.

Fucking sick. Cassim's feelings are just that overhelming.

I've already said it. But Cassim's perspective on things is just like that.

And by GOD it's fucking cathartic to se Alibaba fight back. Because

That's exactly what it is. Cassim just assuming things about Alibaba, and then getting mad about it. It'd be different if he was actually mad at Alibaba, but he isn't. He's mad at his image of him, and Alibaba has every right to be furious. Especially right now, after hearing all that cruel shit, and after all the other things Cassim had done to him. To realize that all of this happened not becaues there was something wrong with him, but because Cassim had put him on some weird pedestal he also wanted to throw him off of. Like, bro.

This looks kind of funny, ngl.

I can't fucking believe I'm already starting to tear up. Idk man, just look at Cassim's face when Alibaba says there's no need for that between them. It's like his anger is evaporating.

And all it does is leave soul-deep exhaustion.

This fucking imagery. God.

Bro

I was busy being sad, but my brain decided to point out that it looks like Alibaba is eating himself. I just can't.

So, uh, fun fact, since I worked out my issues with dissociation, it turns out I tear up pretty damn easily.

Anyway, I'm fucking just

Bro, I can't do this man. And also, Alibaba isn't stupid, he's actually pretty damn perceptive, but he just doesn't always... do much about it. Admitting it and confronting... It's horrifying. After all if he admits it, he risks their already shaky friendship, he also risks outing himself as "too different". He never belongs anywhere, too royal for the slums, and too much of a slum kid for the royalty. No place accepts him fully, and he knows it, at least on some level, so he clings to what he can even if it means running away from the issue. Becaues he can't risk it. He hates being alone.

I know I've made this point several times, but tbh, it's such a intrinsic part of who Alibaba is that it just keeps on being relevant.

Back to depression k

Bro. You can't fucking do this to me. Sorrowful as shit.

Yeah. And, like, there's nothing wrong with being different. That's just how it is.

This what could've been always gets me, but I'll give the anime props when it's deserved, bc I feel like it hits harder.

Idk man, I just. I always end up crying for this dumb bitch

[chayscribbles]

chayscribbles’ monthly writing update ☆ january 2023

☆ STATISTICS.

words written: 10 029

projects worked on: Andromeda Rogue; The Gemini Heist; and a Third, Secret Thing :)

proudest accomplishment: uhhh i can't really thing of anything... i made it to 10k words for the month at the very last minute does that count

books read: Six Wakes by Mur Lafferty; Station Eternity by Mur Lafferty

☆ GENERAL COMMENTS.

as you may or may not have noticed i haven't really been active on writeblr lately. between work, the fact that it's january, and having to shovel through, like, 4 snow storms, i haven't really had the time or energy.

started the writing year super strong. hit a wall about halfway and have since been in a terrible slump for most of the month.

however it turns out that you can trick your brain into thinking it's experiencing New WIP Euphoria by digging up and revamping an old wip (i.e. the Third, Secret Thing).

book comments: both books i read were about murder in space. both were pretty good. both get a solid 4/5 stars.

(between that, watching Glass Onion, rewatching Murder She Wrote, and starting to watch Columbo, i think i'm on a bit of a murder kick lately.)

more specific wip-related comments + featured excerpt below.

☆ COMMENTS: ANDROMEDA ROGUE (draft 2)

not much to say about this one tbh. while most of my words from this month came from this wip, i've,, mostly just been patching up little things like smoothing over inconsistent details and adding a little meat to description and exposition... but i've been procrastinating on fixing the Big Stuff 😭

i really like how the new version is turning out compared to the first version tho. it's so much cleaner & that's very satisfying.

if only i could just *clenches fist* get myself to actually fuckin work on it

☆ COMMENTS: THE GEMINI HEIST (outlining / draft 0.5 or something)

i finished part 1 of 7!... and now i have no idea what i'm doing.

i don't think i like fast drafting lol. i hate how shitty my quality of writing has been. and yeah whatever that's the point of a fast draft blablabla but like, when my draft is already a little bit readable i can go back and reread parts and be like "oh hey this isn't half bad". and i know people are always like "don't reread right away!!! just keep writing!!!!!!!" but for me rereading as i go is part of the process lmao. not only does it remind me of important things i would otherwise forget, it also encourages me to keep going when i see that what i've done isn't terrible.

and... with this fast draft everything just feels terrible.

not to mention i can't seem to untangle plot... heists are fuckin hard to plan. especially since there's multiple opposing parties with different plans that are all going to inevitably go to shit, and so i have to make more plans for when that happens. it feels so complicated uuuggghghhhgh

☆ COMMENTS: a Third, Secret Thing (???)

i'm not gonna talk about it too much publicly yet so i don't jinx whatever is going on here (and i want to make sure i'm a bit more committed to this thing before introducing anything) but all i'll say is it's an older wip that i've talked about on my old blog that i've dug out and changed the genre into a dark modern fantasy mystery with messy sapphics.

☆ FEATURED EXCERPT.

alright i know i said i didn't want to talk too much about the Third Secret Thing yet but i couldn't find any passages to share in either AR or GH... so have this, with very little context :') uhhh tw for mentions of death and murder.

That’s how she ended up peeking groggily out the door at the frigid winter morning, having hastily thrown a sweatshirt over her pyjamas and a towel over her hair, only to have two police officers inform her that Vanessa Villa-Cortez had been found dead in her apartment early that morning.

“D… dead?” Amina repeated, her mind in a haze. She had to still be asleep, right? Maybe the guilt over ignoring that text had seeped into her subconscious and was feeding her dreams. There was no way someone was at her door telling her that Vanessa, a girl she hadn’t heard from in nearly seven years, was… was—

“Killed in an apparent burglary gone wrong last night,” said one of the officers gravely. “A neighbour noticed the door had been clearly forced in, went inside to check, and found Miss Villa-Cortez’s body on the floor of her apartment.”

Amina’s head began to swim. She clutched the doorposts to keep her buckling knees from giving way completely beneath her. No. No. Vanessa couldn’t be dead. Amina still had to answer her text.

if you know you know ;)

☆ TAGLISTS. let me know if you want to be added/removed to any of them.

genera taglist:

@nicola-writes @dgwriteblr @the-orangeauthor @retrogayyde @quilloftheclouds @ashen-crest @writeblrfantasy @celestepens @stardustspiral @pepperdee @extra-magichours @avi-why @lefttigerobservation @chazzawrites @bardolatrycore @innocentlymacabre

andromeda trilogy taglist:

@bebewrites @nicola-writes @dgwriteblr @the-orangeauthor @retrogayyde @akindofmagictoo @quilloftheclouds @nora-theteawriter @ashen-crest @corpsepng @writeblrfantasy @chaylattes @toboldlywrite @celestepens @stardustspiral @pepperdee @cheerfulmelancholies @extra-magichours @writeouswriter @cilly-the-writer @lefttigerobservation @rose-bookblood @drowsy-quill @chazzawrites @cynic-and-chief @enchanted-lightning-aes @aesa

gemini heist taglist:

@florraisons @akindofmagictoo @cream-and-tea @nicola-writes @memento-morri-writes @antique-symbolism @rose-bookblood @afoolandathief @pepperdee @avi-why @zonnemaagd @chazzawrites @analogued @enchanted-lightning-aes @innocentlymacabre @kahvilahuhut @celestepens @cilly-the-writer @extra-magichours @retrogayyde