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differenteagletragedy · 1 year ago

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Two times you almost slept with Baxter and one time you did (hey-o)

Takes place during Step 3. As a Very Normal Person who thinks about this game in a normal way, I have been torn about how intimate MC and Baxter get if you do the romance route with him. Because our guy is such a flirt, but then no follow through? Suspicious.

So here's a possible scenario for all of that. Definitely not smut, but it's a little spicy!

The first time it almost happened was in Baxter's condo on a random Wednesday afternoon. You didn't have to work, Cove did and Baxter was, as he always liked to remind you, flexible, so you were sitting together on his couch, watching a movie.

The thing was that you'd never watched a movie with Baxter before, so you didn't know how bad he was at it. He was more concerned with making a cute little commentary than following the plot, and while it was cute -- it was Baxter, after all -- at a certain point you didn't know what was going on.

So you chose to pass the time in a different way.

Right after he cracked another lame joke and turned to give you a smirk, you met his lips with a kiss instead. It took him a moment to react as it usually did when you kissed him, but he got the hang of it before too long.

It started out a little slow and awkward -- you hadn't had had too many long kisses at this point, mostly more chaste pecks here and there -- but soon it was a full blown makeout session. You slipped your fingers through his hair and you felt a little sigh against your mouth. He was having fun.

Things got more intense, and you suddenly found his hand on the back of your thigh. Before you could say anything, he gripped it firmly and pulled you up so you were straddling his lap.

"This is new," you said, looking down at him nervously.

"It is," he agreed, the normal bravado in his voice replaced by a sort of excited uncertainty. "Is this all right?"

In response, you kissed him again and settled into the position. This way, you could feel just how much fun he was having. It was exciting.

Feeling a wave of boldness, you leaned back and took your shirt off. He gazed at your body openly, and with a tenderness you weren't expecting, his raised his hands off your hips to stroke your back.

You let out a low moan, and there it was -- that smirk that had been missing. Still with the same gentleness as before, he started placing soft kisses along your collarbone, moving lower down your chest.

While his mouth and hands were occupied elsewhere, you made quick work of the buttons of his shirt, and soon you slipped it off his shoulders and threw it behind you, then went in for another kiss, pressing your skin together.

After a nice little while of this, he leaned back again and found your eyes.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yes," you told him plainly, not leaving anything up for interpretation.

You kissed for a while longer, then you felt his hand on your stomach. He held it there for just a moment, then started moving it lower. You felt his fingers move between the waistband of your shorts and your skin, and they worked their way lower and lower ...

All at once, you felt his body tense under yours, and he snatched his hand back like he'd been burnt. He gripped your shoulders and guided you off of him so you were sitting by his side again.

"Perhaps we should slow it down a bit, don't you agree?" he asked, an unmistakable shakiness to his voice.

"Sure, if that's what you want."

You both silently found the clothing you'd lost then started watching the movie again. He didn't have any cute comments this time around.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The second time was in your room. Your moms and Liz were out for the day, so you had the place to yourself. You'd been texting Baxter, spending a lazy day in your room, before finally just asking him to come over and hang out.

He'd only been in your room once or twice before, and he treated it like a museum exhibit. He was studying you.

"What's this?" he asked, pointing to a shelf.

He'd spotted your seashell collection, and you told him as much.

"I used to know all the scientific names and everything," you said, moving to stand beside him so you could look at your little display.

"Used to?" he questioned, cocking an eyebrow.

"Used to and still can," you corrected yourself, laughing.

"Tell me about them?"

You laughed more, then snuck a glance at him. He was smiling too, but it was a sincere request. So you did.

You told him not only the scientific facts you knew about your shells, but the memories you had of when you'd found them. You showed him the big orange one you'd found with Liz when you were little, and the pretty little pink one you and Cove had come across after he'd moved to town.

Maybe it was your impressive show of knowledge, or maybe the fondness in your voice as you spoke about all these people and places and things that were important to you, or maybe it was just that you cared enough to share any of it with him, but when you were done he wrapped his arms around you tightly and buried his face in the crook between your neck and shoulder.

You held him back, and then his lips found yours.

Usually you were the one who took the initiative for any sort of physical affection, but this time he led you to your bed, and you felt almost a sort of neediness in how he moved against you. After the back of your knees bumped against your mattress, he laid you down and climbed on top of you, situating his body between your legs and lowering himself to kiss you again.

This time, he let himself explore your body with his hands, and you gladly let him. Your shirts ended up tossed aside again, but this time he took your shorts off, too. Whether it was on your mouth, your neck, your chest or, for a few tantalizing moments, even lower, his never let his lips leave you for long.

It felt like he was desperate to be as close to you as he possibly could. Which was fine -- you were desperate too.

He looped his thumbs under the sides of your underwear, bunching them up in his hands and landing a kiss on your hip. You shuddered and moaned, saying his name, and that seemed to break whatever spell he'd let himself fall under.

Baxter sat up on his knees and looked off to the side, a mix of emotions clear on his face. You couldn't pick them all out, but you could tell he was cutting your encounter short again.

"What's wrong?" you asked.

"Nothing," he said quickly. "It just seems like maybe this isn't the best venue for ... this," he gestured to your partially unclothed bodies.

"Nobody's going to be home for a while," you assured him. You grabbed his hands and tried to guide him back down to you, but he kissed yours and let them go. He climbed gracefully over your leg and sat beside you on your bed.

"Perhaps we --" he began, but you cut him off.

"Perhaps you can tell me why you're doing this again."

He finally met your eyes. He looked confused.

"This time and before, at your place," you told him. "We started fooling around and you stopped it both times. I thought you just weren't ready the first time, but this time you started it and then ... I don't get it. Is it something I'm doing?"

"No, not at all," he said, moving closer to you. You were upset, and he didn't like that it was because of something he'd done. "You're doing everything perfectly. Don't worry about that, please."

"Then what?"

He considered things for a moment, then looked at you again. Before he began speaking, he laid down beside you and placed a careful arm around you.

"It's just that I so deeply don't want you to regret this," Baxter said softly, absentmindedly making shapes with his fingers on your side. "Any of this. We haven't known each other for very long, and it won't be very much longer before I'm gone. I don't want you to move too quickly and then look back on our summer together and wish you'd done things differently. I'm afraid that would break my heart."

He didn't look at you through any of this, but when he was done he glanced up and gave you a tight smile.

"I wouldn't," you said firmly. "i won't. I promise."

You could tell that he wasn't convinced, but at least he let himself stay there with you like that for a while. He kept stroking idly along your stomach, moving his head to rest on your shoulder. Eventually you both fell asleep.

It wasn't the sort of intimacy you'd thought you'd get, but it certainly wasn't unwelcome.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The third time ... well, as they say, the third time's the charm.

It was nearly the end of summer, about a week after Miranda's birthday party and your impromptu Summer Soiree. You hadn't been able to stop thinking about how sweet Baxter's reaction to the whole thing was or how much he'd loved being able to have a proper dance, so you'd decided to set up another little party for him.

This time, the guest list was even smaller.

You'd asked Baxter if he could hang out that night, and he agreed -- he always put you above any and all other plans, and you knew it. So you gathered some supplies from your house and headed down to the beach.

As the sun set, you laid out a blanket on the sand, then pulled out your phone and set up a little speaker that went with it. You had a few candles you'd swiped from around the house that you lit, hoping the wind wouldn't blow them out at least until Baxter got the full effect. You'd also brought some snacks that you placed on the blanket as well, but you were pretty sure you knew what he would want to do when he got there.

And you were right.

You sent a text, asking Baxter to meet you at the beach, and he promptly let you know he was on his way. Then you pulled up a playlist you'd compiled -- some more traditional ballroom dancing tunes and some slow songs you just liked -- and began playing it. The sound quality wasn't great, but you didn't think it would matter. You smoothed out your clothes, a little fancier than what you'd normally wear here, and waited.

When you saw him approaching, you smiled at him. He paused, taking it all in, then gave you what may have been the most tender look you'd ever seen a person make.

"What's all this?" he asked when he got to you.

"Summer Soiree, Part Two, The Reckoning," you answered, gesturing to your little spread. His face was filled with wonder at the scene, and when you held your hand up in a wordless invitation to dance, he positively beamed.

You danced together as the moon appeared over the water. He held you close, your hand in his clasped firmly to his chest. You stayed like that for a while, swaying back and forth in a cozy little silence, before Baxter spoke.

"I'm not quite sure what I did to deserve such a marvelous dance partner this summer, but sincerely, thank you for this. It means a great deal, more than I can say," he said.

"You're worth it," you told him. You moved your hand off his shoulder to ruffle his hair, and he nearly purred.

"I won't forget a moment of this, any of this," he went on. "When I'm old and grey -- properly grey -- I'll look back on the summer I spent in Sunset Bird with the utmost fondness." He paused, looking at you deeply, and added, "I won't forget you. Not ever."

You rolled your eyes affectionately at the monochrome joke, then said, "Of course you won't forget me. How could you?"

You shared a smile, then you leaned in for a kiss.

By that point in the summer, you knew that you liked Baxter, so much, and that you wanted him. It didn't matter that this was essentially a fling and that he would be leaving soon -- he was here now, and after all you'd shared with each other over the past few months, you wanted him to know that someone cared for him, that he could be appreciated and doted on and even loved. You wanted to show him.

"Can we go back to your place?" you asked, willing him to understand what you meant and to trust that you knew what was best for yourself.

He searched your eyes for a moment, and you didn't look away. He swallowed, then nodded.

You packed up your things together and he carried your bag as you walked back to the neighborhood hand in hand. When you made it through the doorway of his condo, he put your things down carefully, then turned to you.

Personally, you were done with being careful.

You crashed into him, pulling him around you, and after just a short moment of hesitation, he met your intensity. He kissed you hard, your teeth almost clanking together, but you didn't mind -- you wanted him to finally let loose.

And he did.

Both of you were down to your underwear by the time he'd led you to his bedroom, and before you got in bed, he'd removed the final layers. You were naked together for the first time, but you couldn't stop kissing each other to get a proper look.

"You're absolutely sure?" he asked breathlessly, forcing his hands to stop roaming you body until he could get your answer.

"Absolutely," you answered.

This time, that was enough for him.

You spent the night together, wrapped up in each other. Baxter was sometimes sweet and gentle, sometimes a bit rougher, but for once, all his hesitation was gone. He wanted you just as badly as you'd wanted him, and he finally let himself have you.

The next morning, you woke up before him -- no surprise there. He had firmly attached himself to you in his sleep, and you felt a bit of dampness by your head that you thought may have been drool, but you didn't care. Not when he looked so cute.

When he finally opened his eyes and saw you beside him, he grinned and snuggled up closer.

"Morning," he said, nearly slurring.

"Good morning. Did you sleep well?"

"Mmm," he hummed happily. He didn't want to greet the day just yet, and that was fine by you.

For the next little while, Baxter dozed next to you, sometimes waking up enough to have a bit of conversation before it fell off again. In the times when you heard a light snoring, you let your mind wander.

You knew he'd made it clear that this relationship was temporary -- that had been established time and time again. You didn't think last night had changed that, you had never lied when you told him that you understood, but as he slept naked beside you, you let yourself think that maybe whatever this was that you'd built this summer was strong enough to last.

Maybe not now, but that was ok. Maybe later, when you'd both solidly found your footing in the adult world. Maybe you could build a closer friendship while he was across the country in college, then you could come back together.

You resolved to talk to him about it when he woke up, but for now, you shut your eyes too and cuddled closer to him, content to laze away the morning in his arms.

#our life beginnings and always #olba #olba mc #our life #baxter ward #baxter x mc #olba baxter #baxter ward x reader #our life baxter #our life baxter ward #baxter x reader #baxter ward x you #baxter ward x mc #baxter x you #olba baxter ward

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gold-pavilion · 11 months ago

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Toman and Buddhism + Tenjiku and Taoism

Another post to cover references in Tokyo Revengers!

This time, I'll be covering the links to two religions to be found in two gangs in the series, reference by reference, with the according explanation of each.

Some of these may be already known, I know one of them sure is (the whole buddhist manji confusion thing yeah yeah) but still, for the sake of a tidy compilation and of providing more detail, I'll go through them too. Some others are a lot less noticed, like Tenjiku's lean towards Tao, so it'll be best to lay down eeeeeeverything I've caught during my time enjoying this series. Plus, I'm pretty excited to get some of those less-known facts out here!!

Warning though, it's lengthy.

Let's start with Tokyo Manji Gang:

- Firstly, the gang's name and how it's written.

Despite Mikey suggesting the name as a short form of Tokyo Manjiro Gang, putting himself front and center, the kanji that ended up forming the name of Tokyo Manji Gang show that it went in a different direction of meaning. The manji used for the middle part ended up not being the same one from the name Manjiro, but a manji written as 卍. Aloud it's read the same way (many, many, many kanji are homophones), but has a different meaning.

卍 (manji) is an extremely common buddhist symbol (not even limited to japanese buddhism, but in hinduism and other aligned east-asian religions too), which represents the path of Buddha and the endless cycle of rebirth through samsara; the pursuit of leading a more spiritually balanced existence until the soul can reach enlightenment. In other words, it's nothing but deeply buddhist.

(To answer a common question around it: can it be called a swastika? Yes. The symbol in general, with each of the million variations that have popped up in different cultures, can be called a swastika as a broad term. There are a fuckton of swastikas. They mean a fuckton of different things. The tilt and the direction in which this one "spins" makes it different from other swastikas though, and it's always best to be precise and call this one manji.)

Moving on,

- Reunion spot.

The Musashi Shrine (based, but not exactly taken from any of the real-life shrines and temples of similar name in Tokyo, as far as I know) is a shinto-buddhist temple. And, apparently, a place where the founders hung out from time to time, but I'll add to that later!!

It's cute to me that the Toman members seem to use the temple very respectfully. They always meet in it at night waaay after it's closed (daytime meetings have always taken place in different locations, never the temple during visiting hours), they've never once set foot even near the oratory/sanctum/other buildings, never been seen bringing the motorcycles anywhere they shouldn't, and the one time a character was seen using the public temizuya (the little stone fountain where visitors purify their hands and mouth), he was proper about it in terms of pouring water into his hand to rinse his mouth with, not getting the ladle or the rest of the water dirty, as one should always do.

A fun fact: in Google Maps, buddhist temples are marked with the manji symbol!

- Gang's manifesto.

Embroidered on the chest of the gang uniform, you can see the text 天上天下唯我独尊 ("Above the earth and below the heavens, I alone shall be honored"), which is the gang's manifesto or motto. Sounds just like something Mikey would choose, yeah.

That phrase is also of buddhist origin; famously, the words spoken by Buddha Gautama Siddharta (bear in mind that buddhism isn't a religion with one god or anything like that, anyone enlightened can become a Buddha and many figures have been granted that status, but Gautama is the first and main one, the creator of the doctrine) when he was born. To be honest, this is very much interpretative, but I've come to get the impression that it's not so much a power or ego statement, but rather an expression of cultivating and honoring yourself…? It's absolutely up to personal reading and I'm absolutely not an expert. But those are certainly THE Buddha's words.

- Ceremonial sash.

Another part of their uniform that bears a slight reference: the sash worn by the commander, vice-commander, captains and vice-captains during important fights.

These are tasuki, sashes originally worn by shinto-buddhist priests during ceremonies, in order to keep long sleeves and such in place. However, eventually, they also began being worn by samurai and all sorts of warriors, 'cause of their convenience. In modern times, they even started being used by just about anybody who wears traditional clothing but also does manual work and needs the sleeves out of the way. So it can be concluded that, over time, they stopped being strongly linked to religious practicers. In fact, even biker gangs in general ended up adopting the use of tasuki! Not for their religious origins, but for the warrior part; a bōsōzoku gang member wearing one would look very prepared and determined for a fight.

That's why overall, Tokyo Manji Gang having them is only a relative reference; they could be paying homage to their reference religion, as they could be only honoring gang traditions.

- Additional notes about the leader.

I feel it's important to add up all these little factors of Mikey's choosing, with other little details about him as a person that kinda make it all make sense.

If I say "Mikey seems to be religious, to an extent", I understand this can carry a bunch of tricky connotations. Japanese religion isn't exercised the same way it is in other places, someone being religious SURE AS HECK doesn't mean the same things it means in the christian west. Shinto-buddhism is so commonplace in Japan, most people partake in all kinds of religious practices without even thinking of them as strictly religious, such as new year's celebrations, casual prayer during shrine visits, purchasing and giving charms and such. Religion is integrated in life in a lot of extremely chill ways.

And we can observe a lot of things about Mikey that put him quite above the average in terms of his relationship with local tradition and religion. His house is a huge traditional-style family home, his family is hinted to be active in religious practice (remember Emma's appearances during the Christmas Showdown arc? How she mentioned that their family does a lot of temple visits, and even she considered it weird at that time of the year?), he's much more prone to wearing traditional clothing than his peers, his motif in extra clothing designs is the lion-dog (temple guardians; statues of these can often be found in them), his personal beliefs around death and relationship to the dead run deeper than others' to the point they find him disturbing when he talks about Shinichiro or Baji still being with him... many little things that aren't that deep on their own, of course, but when added up they paint a pretty coherent picture of the guy.

And so, it does make a lot of sense that, even from childhood, a temple was a regular place for Mikey to hang out with his friends, leading to the birth of Toman in one. And it makes a lot of sense that he made all those little choices about the way the gang would be styled. In my opinion, it's likely that those things just all came natural to him because they're a part of his background and worldview. Of course, how actively religious he is, how much he believes in the things he happens to know and how much exactly he might know about buddhism are all up to headcanoning and interpretation. Personally, I'm just a roleplayer that takes it as a relevant part of his character.

- Following a Buddha?

A little out-of-TR-universe element that I love to bring up, 'cause it's just hilarious and cool as hell, is the creation of this statue:

This part of the 2022 Tokyo Revengers exhibition straight up imitates the famous Reclining Buddha in the Wat Pho temple, Thailand.

The ENORMOUS statue depicts the moment Buddha reaches nirvana, and his enlightened soul is at rest. The golden Mikey statue that imitates it very much intentionally likens him to a Buddha; funny to note that the exhibition staff even prayed to the statue, as you can read in the tweet itself.

What does this mean about Mikey's character? Well, this isn't within text in Tokyo Revengers, just a little outside factor, so I wouldn't take it too literally or too seriously, but it's interesting nonetheless. Personally, I see it as a hint that Mikey was supposed to be on his own little quest to enlightenment, or had the potential to be. Grappling with morality without having a natural sense of what's right, wrong, too much or enough is a major thing with his character. I can also imagine it might just be meant to represent the godlike view others have of him, the guidance they sought from him. Take it as you will!

The important thing is just that it exists, to confirm that there is an intentional connection of some type between the Buddha and Mikey.

Thaaaaat concludes the Toman and Buddhism section of this post.

Whew!! That was a whole lot.

The Tenjiku and Taoism section coming now is shorter, but I'm sure it contains interesting and less-known things (at least, I've never seen anybody talk about these)!

So let's see, Tao references in Tenjiku:

- Gang name.

Tenjiku is a now-obsolete word that translated directly to "heaven", while simultaneously being the japanese word for the country India (as taken from the chinese pronunciation, Tianzhu).

In modern times, it can be found mostly in ancient literature, the most prominent example being Journey to the West. Given that Kakucho and Izana mentioned this book and seemed to have knowledge of it as kids, we can conclude that's where they got the name of their gang from.

Why would they use the word for India to name their kingdom? What does this have to do with Tao? I'll get into that properly now:

- Kakucho, Izana & Journey to the West.

Journey to the West is one of the four great chinese classic novels (along with Romance of the Three Kingdoms, Outlaws of the Marsh, and Dream of the Red Chamber) which are enormous, ENORMOUS influences on east-asian literature and fiction in general. Journey to the West, itself, is considered the most popular east-asian literary work overall; of course, being super well-known in Japan, too. (To give my favorite funny example of just how omnipresent it is, y'know Dragon Ball? Hit anime series Dragon Ball? Unabashedly based on Journey to the West, which was to thank for most of its initial local popularity.)

It's the story of the buddhist monk Tang Sanzang, who travels to Tenjiku, to India, to that certain heavenly kingdom, to obtain sacred texts for Buddha Gautama Siddharta (the guy I described as THE Buddha in the Tokyo Manji Gang section above). The quest doubles as a search and exercise of enlightenment, as Tang Sanzang is aided by three protectors that are atoning for their sins and learning from him. The main guardian and arguably the true protagonist of the book is Sun Wukong, the Monkey King, a fighter "so strong he could carry a mountain on each shoulder, and still dash as fast as a meteor". It's a huge, epic, 100-chapter monster of a book, in which each chapter is already a fantastic and entertaining anecdote about the characters or what happens in their travels, but also a long spiritual journey that pretty much serves to subtly teach the principles of Tao (term that can be translated to "the path", chinese religion and philosophy).

A tangent: let me just show you how large it is (and why I haven't been able to finish it, 'cause I cannot take this brick of a book anywhere lmaoooo).

(Cover says Journey to the West: The Adventures of the Monkey King. It's in spanish.)

My guess is that Izana and Kakucho studied about it or read some chapters in school, 'cause dang, there's no way they read all of this at that age?!?! BUT ANYWAY.

While there's obviously quite some buddhist influence in the story, most of what it works with throughout is rooted in chinese folklore and Taoism. The edition of the book I have even begins with extensive notes and introductory explanations about Tao, as its themes of harmony with the universe, self-cultivation, internal alchemy, its main ethics and values, etc etc etc are the basis from which the book is built up. The characters very actively engage with Tao. Sun Wukong is an ardent student of Tao who obtains a bunch of powers through it, for one.

I've gone into this much into detail because Kakucho and Izana make it pretty explicit that, to them, Izana is like monk Tang Sanzang leading to Tenjiku, and Kakucho is like his guardian of unmatched strength, Sun Wukong.

In the end of Journey to the West, it's both Tang Sanzang and Sun Wukong that accomplish their goal and also obtain enlightenment, finally ascending to buddhahood. Had Izana and Kakucho's journey with Tenjiku reached their original destination (not "to become a criminal syndicate that controls Japan" but "to build a kingdom where everyone without a home could exist"), had it been like Tang Sanzang and Sun Wukong's pilgrimage… they would've learned true balance and they would've found the necessary enlightenment.

Again, I find this little connection with characters that could've been on a quest towards buddhahood, but as far as things went in the main TR timelines, all failed.

- Uniform & logo.

Finally, something lighter and quicker to add, haha.

There are symbols and references that are so so so widespread that they become more of an aesthetic detail than a symbol with meaning, in the eyes of the general public. The yin-yang is one of those symbols that just… appears in a lot of places, fashionably, and one kinda gets used to seeing it without thinking much about it. Sometimes it's not meant to stand for much more than a decorative detail, yes, that definitely happens, but sometimes it's very much a thoughtful choice. With Tenjiku, given its connection to Taoism, I'm gonna treat the yin-yang as a meaningful choice.

So! On the back of the uniform we have a yin-yang, Taoist symbol that represents the balance of the two complementary and opposing forces of the universe (note: it's not a good vs evil type of thing, as tends to happen with western black-white dualism, but rather… the fact that reality needs to be composed of push and pull to get anywhere, hard and soft things with their own function, sun and shade. A common comparison is how a mountain will have a sunny side and a shady side when looked at in a certain moment, but the sun and shade will switch over at another time of day, in a needed cycle). Other features of the uniform are a mao collar instead of a more common style for gang jackets, and an intense red color, the main auspicious and prosperous color in chinese culture. These last two little features could easily be coincidental, but when paired with the yin-yang, I feel like it's intended to lean towards chinese aesthetics.

And with that,

I end this reference post!

Did you learn anything you didn't know? Did you enjoy learning it? Any thoughts? I LOVE TO TALK ABOUT THESE THINGS, SO FEEL FREE TO DROP BY MY ASKBOX with any comments or questions or such!!

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers meta #tokyo manji gang #toman #tenjiku #kurokawa izana #sano manjiro #izana kurokawa #manjiro sano #mikey #kakucho #thoughts and talk and so #tokyo rev #wanted to write this one forever #just never quite got around to it

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abstractfrog · 3 months ago

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HI I JUST SAW YOUR INCREDIBLE SHERLOCK AND CO COMIC YOU MADE AND I WOULD LOVE FOR YOU TO TALK ABOUT THE PROCESS AND THE SYMBOLISM AND INTRICACIES AND EVERYTHING PLEASE ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

GOD THANK U ok if i actually talked about EVERYTHING i would be here forever and ever, there were things about the process where it kept surprising me and i kept adding stuff.

I talk about my general comic process here , it started out mostly the same for this one. Analysis of the script, sketches, panel and colour blocking

The scene from Mr Sherlock Holmes presented me with a unique challenge (for me) because...usually I pick scenes from the podcast that are instantly visually stimulating. This scene is NOT that. It's sort of unclear and confusing and even the emotive narrative is sort of hard to pick out. Those things I had to sort of decide for myself. It's hard to draw a whole scene like this without first deciding what the scene is about, what its purpose is. If you go back and listen to the episode along with the comic you'll notice all sorts of changes and tonal shifts - that's because of me and my decision making.

I decided that the direction I wanted to go in was to show John having his realization about himself, his podcast, and Sherlock, showing him getting pulled into, yes, Sherlock's world, but also the world of the podcast as an adaptation. I knew i could do this just with colour, but if you've seen my other comics, you know i almost always use colour to show shifts. I guess I had some insecurity about doing the same thing over and over again so I pushed myself to think of other ways I could accomplish it visual. Enter: rendering technique

I will say I didn't expect this effect to make John seem so SAD and MISERABLE, i only wanted to show him getting pulled in, but its effective for his emotions in this scene as well. Scanning drawings into the computer sort of flattens the paper texture, so I started adding photos of the pages of A Study in Scarlet to make him feel more paper-y. And then, of course, realised i could use that to further elaborate on John's inner thoughts, backgrounds, and motivations. People are welcome to interpreted that how they like and i've seen a number of variations, but to me it operates on sort of a meta level, showing the inevitability of what John is going through. He's a Watson, he's always going to follow Holmes, he's going to try and figure him out, and that's why you sort of see a back and forth between acd and pod Watson, highlighting the ways in which they are similar, and then, John breaks off and becomes his own character, still with those foundations but also entirely different.

there's one piece of text that i haven't seen anyone pick up on or mention and I'm starting to think it's gone unnoticed because it's in an unexpected spot. I won't mention what or where because it is, for now, a very indulgent little secret.

I notice a lot of people are getting a kick out of Sherlock playing with the speech bubbles, which I am so pleased by because I almost didn't do it! I thought i was maybe breaking something in the comic but it was so fun that i didn't care and I'm so glad it came across well. It operates on a lot of levels, it shows his thought process, it plays into that fourth-wall medium play i've got going on, and it feeds into the web metaphor as well as visually showing him roping John in.

on the topic of Sherlock, I feel a lot of people are rather focused on John, which is understandable (he's the main event) but Sherlock has a lot of details I love too.

For instance, him pushing his hair back and putting on a coat when the officer arrives, almost like he's shifted modes, and then his hair falling back down when he gets excited and John starts to understand.

I really love this moment of Sherlock seeing John's potential for interest in mysteries when he's trying to solve the matter of what Sherlock Does, and being surprised and flattered for a moment (until John messes it up again)

John copying Sherlock's pose <3

There's deliberate things in the character design as well, things like the fact that once John comes into colour, it reveals that he's actually wearing more colour than anyone else in the scene, and the fact that the grey in John's hair only appears post-greyscale. Things you are welcome to read into. And there are, of course, the socks, which I've seen people pick up on.

Those are the main things for now so i might leave it there, but thank you so much for your ask and i'd be pleased to elaborate further on absolutely anything!

#sherlock & co #sherlock and co #thankuuuu i lvoe yapppingggg #seeing people pick it apart has been so satisfying and validating im so pleased with how it turned out and how people are reacting to it

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chromaticleaf · 4 months ago

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Been thinking about Tessa and the Murder Trio, and I've started wondering... how do the drones even feel about Tessa, in canon?

Reviewing what we have, it's a bit less clear than I expected, so I'll break down what we actually get in canon for each pair.

Tessa / J:

J having romantic feelings for Tessa is quite the popular fanon of course. I like that interpretation quite a bit myself, and a few subtle details I've seen discussed can even imply it as subtext.

As far as actual text goes, though, J is a loyal sidekick. She follows Tessa's lead and seems proud to assist and protect her. Pretty clearly a positive relationship, and easy to extrapolate further for shipping and fun head-canons.

But canonically, it isn't too different from her relationship with Cyn, or even the "company" in episode 1. Loyal, proud of her capable service, dedicated. Blasphemous as it may be, one could question if she actually cares for Tessa specifically, beyond her position as her "boss".

And this isn't to accuse J of being heartless: she reacts with clear horror at the thought of V (and the other library drones?) being discarded in episode 5. She cares about V (and, I would argue, N) in some capacity. Her rejection of them in episode 8 is easy to read as a defensive denial: casting them as a lost cause in order to justify fighting them to herself.

Even so, I do still interpret J and Tessa as having a close relationship, especially since contrary evidence is lacking.

Tessa / V:

We get basically nothing with actual Tessa. V has a few interactions with Cyn as "Tessa", though. She shows no real loyalty to her, seeming to go along with their excursion into the labs only for N and Uzi. She's very quick to snap at "Tessa" for her inability to protect them, but also seems quick to look past that. Most notably, she's quick to save "Tessa" from a bullet, so it's easy to read her as being as "tsundere" towards her as she is towards N and Uzi.

So canon doesn't necessarily imply a very strong relationship between them, but at least some basic level of loyalty probably existed, at least before Cyn's rampage.

Tessa / N:

This one is pretty interesting. Tessa's adoration of N is very apparent, of course. But we don't actually see any reciprocation from N. With actual Tessa in his memories, he seems to begrudgingly accept Tessa's affection, but his primary focus at the time was Cyn (and the ghost witch sending him messages). Perhaps this can be written off as extenuating circumstances, especially with Uzi's interference influencing his perception of the memories.

The other meeting we see, with Cyn as "Tessa", has Cyn mimic similar affection. N however seems more worried than excited to see her. Especially notable, in the same meeting, he seems delighted to see J (the same goes for V too, on both counts). "Tessa" gets a worried frown from N, where J gets a smile.

"Tessa" of course does little to endear herself to N during their lab mission. N shows plenty of concern for V and Uzi, and almost no concern for "Tessa". However, he still seems willing, if reluctant, to follow her orders, up until he catches her in a lie, upon which he beheads her with no hesitation. Even with N's genre savviness, he did not know she was Cyn at the time. Again, compare to J, who even as an enemy receives a hand-drawn IOU from him.

One can again argue extenuating circumstances, but it stands out for the golden retriever "I love doing anything" drone, doesn't it?

Conclusion:

It is surprisingly easy to build a case that the drones do not actually care about Tessa all that much. And it is even more surprisingly easy to build a case that N rather dislikes Tessa.

Do I think this is the intended reading of the characters? Not really.

I think the murder drones did like Tessa. There's not much positive evidence that any of them disliked her while they were in the manor, and all of them probably felt loyalty to her for repairing them and at least attempting to protect them from her parents.

Cyn's easy manipulation of N and V while pretending to be Tessa almost certainly relies on their lingering loyalty to her, overriding their natural wariness and doubt about the situation, so the fact that they aren't even more hostile and distrusting of "Tessa" on Copper 9 is probably a positive sign for their past relationship.

Still, it's an interesting thought experiment to interpret their relationship with Tessa in different ways and see how it can fit with canon.

Anyway, that's my sleep deprived ramblings on the topic. Hopefully someone finds them interesting!

#murder drones #tessa james elliot #serial designation j #serial designation v #serial designation n

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arcaneconfessions · 4 days ago

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Saw a post on here saying something similar but I can’t find it, but anyways, I feel like sometimes the shipping and shipping discourse seems to overshadow any actual critique or engagement with the show itself. And as someone who doesn’t really engage with shipping beyond a casual level, it’s SO annoying.

Season 2 felt very fanservice-y to me, like it was jangling yaoi and yuri keys in front of the audience to distract from the extremely questionable writing choices they were making. Like the writing equivalent of corporations using fandoms and memes and a cheap rainbow logo and merch during pride month to get on your side and become relatable to a gen z audience, even though at the end of the day they're not relatable at all, and all they want to do is sell you something all while using the shadiest practices possible behind your back (I’m sorry you can so tell my unending grudge against Duolingo here LMFAOO). The most frustrating part was that it lowkey worked. I remember when season 2 first ended, all everyone could talk about was ships! I get that people were likely still processing it and perhaps couldn’t immediately get out their coherent analyses (that’s fair honestly, I’d rather they sit on it rather than forcing out a half-baked analysis like a watery shit), but I felt like I was going insane for the first week or two. I’m better now but honestly I think whether you ship it or not, most, if not ALL the relationships this season were fumbled horrendously, and what confused me is that somehow people still saw that as a win. I get that it’s exciting whenever a ship or interaction you wanted to see so much gets canon content, and these ships DO mean a lot to people, that’s true, and I’m glad people are able to find joy and comfort in these ships, but.. Idk, to me it felt like they weren’t even the same characters anymore and they were barely allowed to exist or have their own arcs outside of their respective ships (cough, vi and Ekko) :/

For clarification, this is in no way saying you CAN’T enjoy shipping (I’d be a hypocrite lmao) as I think in certain contexts it can def enrich an interpretation of the characters or the work itself (also,, aside from the intellectual aspect, it’s just fun to mash characters together like Barbies sometimes idk what to tell you. That’s what fandom is for), I just don’t like it when these characters are barely allowed to exist outside of the ships either in text or in fandom, or the shipping consumes the ENTIRE conversation. It’s standard fandom behaviour, I know, especially when there’s a lot of young people in there who don’t yet know fandom etiquette and how to engage critically with works in general, but it’s still annoying and childish to me and it gets on my nerves (insert disgruntled old man shaking fist at sky gesture)

Sorry for the rant (needed it tho tbh) even tho I know that’s literally what your inbox is for but I LOVE your blog and seeing all the different takes and perspectives on here, it’s very fascinating to watch and I’m glad people have a place to unapologetically express their opinions ^_^

#anti caitvi #anti timebomb #ekko arcane #vi arcane #arcane

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yes-i-read-sappho · 5 months ago

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So you want to read "No Longer Human"

One of the things that fascinates me most in this world is translation, and when it comes to reading literature not originally in English I always wonder how accurate what I'm really reading is, especially seeing how much a work can vary from translation to translation.

With this in mind, I set out with a friend to read all three official English translations of Osamu Dazai's Ningen Shinkkaku (best known in English as No Longer Human) in order to figure out which one was the best.

DISCLAIMER: I do not read Japanese so my ability to comment on the actual accuracy to the original text is limited, so most of what I am saying here is based in the readability in English etc. (That being said, if you know more about the original and the accuracy to the original of any of the translations below PLEASE let me know I would be so so interested.)

With no further ado, here are the translations in the order I read them:

1. No Longer Human, trans. Donald Keene (1958)

This translation is easily the most familiar to English speakers (for BSD fans, this is where you can find "page 21, 'Mine has been a life of much shame.'") The main pro of this translation is that is very easily accessible in the literal sense. On top of this, the writing style is relatively easy to understand, if a bit antiquated (see: published 1958).

Unfortunately, while much of the vagueness in this book is almost definitely a consequence of Dazai's own writing, this translation is far from perfect. When discussing it with my friend, we realized that a confusing scene (pages 153-154 in the paperback) actually appears to be a consequence of a mistranslation, as both of the other translations we read presented the same contrary interpretation.

Overall, Keene's translation is fine but can feel incomplete.

2. A Shameful Life (Ningen Shikkaku), trans. Mark Gibeau (2018)

New title alert!

Gibeau's translation felt more complete than Keene's (and I may have gone a little insane using my limited Japanese knowledge to see if a single detail was accurate which it did appear to be). The only real downside to this translation was the lack of italics used within the text, which made it a bit more difficult to follow at times when it came to the character's inner thoughts. That being said, I actually like this as a literary device, especially given that the framing of the novel is in the form of personal journals.

What really made this version stand out to me, however, wasn't necessarily the translation itself, but how the translator addresses it. This book provides a translator's afterward (rather than an introduction as in the other two) where Gibeau gets into the historical and cultural context necessary to really understand the novel, including the I-novel literary movement and Dazai's own life. This really helps readers (especially those less familiar with Japanese history and culture) to really understand some of the nuances of the novel, while the placement at the end - pointedly - first allows the text to stand on its own. Also, in addition to the afterward, Gibeau also provides a brief "Note on the Current Translation," where he explains the merits of multiple translations and a bit of his own process/experience translating, which I enjoyed reading.

3. No Longer Human, trans. Juliet Winters Carpenter (2023)

(I don't know why this cover image is massive but oh well.)

Most of what I remember about this translation is wanting to like it more than I did. I was excited to read a translation by a woman because of how female characters are treated in the novel, but I do not remember there being a distinct difference. (The only notable difference was in the specificity of the language used at one point in the first journal, but this wasn't related to gender and I'm not going to get into it here.)

This translation initially endeared itself to me by directly referencing Bungo Stray Dogs in the introduction for its role in increasing the popularity of the novel among English speaking fans (even though Winters Carpenter somewhat misrepresents the series), but the introduction as a whole does very little to contextualize the novel, especially not compared to Gibeau.

Broadly speaking, I found this translation forgettable.

In conclusion,

I would recommend Gibeau's translation over the other two. However, each translation has its advantages and disadvantages, and you will still get the story from all of them if that's what you care about most.

#this is so long oh my god #uh #actually need to stop stressing over this like it's an essay for a grade and not a post on tumblr dot com #anyways #i hope at least one person finds this interesting and/or useful #no longer human #dazai osamu #ningen shikkaku #japanese literature #translation #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd #okay i think that's everything

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sankatsuka · 11 months ago

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Backlit Lens Flare and CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY Discussion - Reigniting The Passion Lost to Peer Pressure

Everyone wants to have a place to belong, where the hard work we pour into the things we love will be seen and appreciated by people. But what happens when you decide you will never find this place and resign yourself to a life of solitude, only to be proven wrong by a group of people who insist on your wholehearted hard work? And it only later dawns on you that you will someday have to part ways and you will lose the miraculous place you finally found.

This is what I like to think Rui Kamishiro encapsulates - the battle between being yourself and wanting a place to belong. How easy it is to get swayed from what you love when you think you've found this place and start to subconsciously dedicate your passion to this place instead, to the point that if you're not aware enough, you can forget the feelings in your original passion (resulting in the hesitation and doubt in Curtain Call). After all, nobody is the same, and if you focus too much of your passion on them, that passion becomes about them and not yourself. Ultimately, it is how not acknowledging a healthy boundary with people who are different from you can affect your passion (Shiho as a character is very integral to this).

Warnings:

I believe the entire WxS plot is meant to be misdirection.

Personal interpretation of Rui and several characters by inferring from text.

I believe Rui is a flawed person with no bad intentions, so there will be criticism of his character here. I really suggest turning away if it upsets you.

Spoilers for all WxS unit stories up till Backlit Lens Flare (as well as for Saki, Shiho, Akito, Mafuyu and Mizuki's characters up to their most recent stories)

Edit (11/2/2024): Made multiple edits as always, but biggest change is talking more about the foils in CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY and Kitty's message. Edit (12/2/2024): Compulsory mention of Rui's mom and how he was set up for failure from way back then. Edit (12/2/2024): Expansion on the parallels between Rui and Mafuyu - what it is that makes them the CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY and Jackpot Sad Girl. And a summary on how three commission parallels supports this interpretation of CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY about Rui's characters. Edit (13/2/2024): Lets add a bit more about how Resonate with You criticizes Rui's actions in Curtain Call. AND MANJI ALSO BEING A SLANG MEANING EXCITEMENT, STILL APPLIES TO TSUKASA IDC!!

Rui's character in the story starts off as someone who has thrown the part of himself who wants to have fun making things with people after being repeatedly let down by them. The early times with Wonderlands x Showtime helped him remember that desire from childhood to find a place that accepts that desire, that he criticizes Tsukasa for not appreciating WxS - for not realizing the best shows can't be accomplished without friends.

"--The best shows can't be done alone."

Following the fallout, Tsukasa and WxS' continued insistence and appreciation of him makes him start to see them as a place he can finally belong to. The place he's searched for for so long since childhood. That when he saw Tsukasa get hurt, he became swayed from doing the things he wanted to do for the first time and he hadn't even noticed it - because Tsukasa might leave him like his classmates had, so he has to hold back so as to not disappoint him further. This resulted in Tsukasa and Ruis second argument, with Tsukasa being angry at Rui for lying and holding back - which I later argue is the exact same feelings in his FUZAKERUNA in CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY.

"This is surprising. I didn't think I'd ever feel this way." "Being afraid of losing your place, and then being unable to face the actors who seriously respond to you - this is a failing as a director."

However, this entire ordeal ended in Rui acknowledging his weakness, putting the whole deal behind them and moving on with the show, as KAITO advised. (Spoiler: it isn't weird at all to say that this happens again, with how he deals with it so indifferently like this.)

And then in Curtain Call, he becomes painfully aware that everyone may leave someday for their dreams--

"Someday, the day we will have to depart will come... For both me, and everyone."

Doesn't this just seem like a repeat of Halloween in a different way? He's scared they'll all leave him alone. One can say that Curtain Call ignited the exact same fear of being left alone and losing your place that Rui felt in Halloween - and his reaction feels exactly the same too: acknowledge it, put it behind you and move on to doing what is best for the best shows. After all, Rui lives for the best shows, because it is what makes him most happy - albeit Backlit Lens Flare suggests how he doesn't actually fully remember the joy and passion for shows he had as a child (discussed later). The best way to put it is - Rui feels like a walking corpse of his childhood.

Normally, when you realize this possibility of parting in the future, you talk to your friends about this (see: Saki Focus 3, Get Over It). But Rui refrains from talking to the people he should be talking to (WxS) and proceeds to go for the most obvious decision for his dream by joining Arklands. Only after Asahi turns him away does he go for the next obvious option he sees - the reckless decision that he would do everything in his power to achieve everyone's dreams together. And he can so confidently chase it because he's smart, only to be put down in Backlit Lens Flare lol.

Rui has really just been powering his way through the things he finds unpleasant, as KAITO had told him to in Halloween, ignoring the bad parts and doing everything for the sake for the best shows. You can really, really argue that KAITO's advice in Halloween seems very, very morally ambiguous now lol. He doesn't think ahead of what is the best choice and what would make him happiest - it's as if he's avoiding the very line of thought of how he would do post-WxS. Compared to Shiho in Focus 1, 'Resonate With You', who shows how she has thought it through and is happy enough just spending time with Leo/need for leisure - Rui doesn't even reach this line of thought of what happens next.

I think that he avoids thinking properly about these stuff because he wouldn't have a proper answer to it. Can he really trust Asahi when many other people have disappointed him after showing some interest before this? On the other hand, he's argued with Tsukasa twice and everyone is still enthusiastic - WxS is the only place he's ever felt secure.

"There were a few people who saw my ideas and said, 'it would be interesting if we could do it'." "But even those people gradually became reluctant with the more new ideas I brought to them."

It may generally be underestimated in the story just how much Rui doesn't inherently trust people and actors.

Even CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY begins with 'Nobody's listening anyway. Music's all just fashion, players leaving the field after devouring dead sounds one night.' which can be interpreted as people who became reluctant after they spent too long around Rui as he says to KAITO above, innit.

And then, Backlit Lens Flare happens and Rui encounters ??? (Sakaki). Sakaki immediately identifies the problem with Bakuno's acting, pinpointing it to the directors instead of the actor. Rui was not able to.

Remember, the freelance option isn't permanent - there's the possibility someone may be recruited away (It's a story for another day that he is only really worried about Tsukasa instead of the whole WxS but doesn't realize this). Rui paying attention to their growths first of all before his own is testament to how he's trying to make sure they quickly grow so they can achieve their dreams together:

"...It seems it became good stimulation for both of them right away." "...I also need to more proactively study from this opportunity."

So even now, Rui is more worried about WxS over himself. He prioritizes making sure they are getting something out of the freelancing gig over himself. Only after watching them was he stimulated to do his best too - and here comes the question, where did his drive to be proactive for his own passion go to?

Sakaki's ingenuity finally pops this question to Rui's mind. Had Rui's brain not been filled with the worry of losing his place, he may have been able to think more clearly and just as quickly reach the same conclusion as Sakaki. If he had been filled with thoughts of what was satisfying for himself instead of how he could stay with everyone, he may have been able to create a much better film (see: Shiho Focus 3, Stick to Your Faith). In fact, why is he even so bothered about falling behind Sakaki, when Rui isn't even an adult or a professional director himself?

It's not normal to be bothered about that: Nene was never hard on herself for not being as good as Kazamatsuri, because it's a given she's far away. But she does get upset with herself when she realizes she had looked down on Sakurako and naively seen her as an equal. You only react that way with people you see as equals if you're secure.

Perhaps, the passionate person Rui used to be would have admired Sakaki and want to learn from him out of a pure love for shows instead. And not be so bothered about how he was falling behind professionals.

We see Rui fail twice in the story: not figuring out the problem with the scene, and not thinking ahead of personalizing the script like Ohara had. (There is a third time too: how Tsukasa and WxS seem so moved by Bakuno's performance that Rui played no part in - meaning there are others who could easily replace him - if the emotions in this discussion hold true). And it's no wonder it would have him start questioning and blaming his obsession with WxS for it - if he had not been preoccupied with them, he may have avoided his failures altogether, and even if he did, he wouldn't have been this upset.

It's like a hit to his ego. Is how he's acting and behaving really the same boy who loved shows and would do anything for a show that would satisfy him?

Right now, it's as if Rui is trying hard to protect his position as a talented genius that surpasses everyone so WxS will need him for their dreams and want him around. No one can replace him; only he can achieve their dreams for them.

But Sakaki and Ohara prove him wrong.

The closing lines of Backlit Lens Flare, where he focuses on his own feelings towards directing instead of anything WxS learned, implies this self-realization of how he had been behaving. Rui is finally focused on himself.

"I'm disappointed that I didnt come up with this method, but strangely enough, I feel refreshed." "Directing... really is interesting."

FIRST UP. WHY DID YOU NEED TO COME UP WITH THE METHOD. SECONDLY, WHY ARE YOU REFRESHED. It makes sense to me as someone who's been carried away a lot: when you realize you lost sight of your original intentions and began worrying more about so many unnecessary things, you feel bitter at your mistake but relieved and refreshed you've finally been woken up.

To me, all of these feel like they're pointing to Rui being afraid of losing his place in WxS. So he has to be capable of solving everything, achieving everyone's dreams, so they will need him for it and they can keep staying this way. Before this, it seemed like a normal human emotion he had just never experienced before, but now, it's starting to show it's actually detrimenting his passion.

This is what I believe the theme of trends are playing into in CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY - doing anything you can to make sure there will be people to hear and appreciate your music, and the spite in realizing you've lost yourself in that pursuit. Money is the artificial love you receive by catering to people so they would stay and listen to you. It's heartless, but following his character, it seems the crowd he's referring to is WxS. Because they have their strong individualistic dreams and just won't simply stay with him as he wants them to, he has to keep worrying about keeping up with them (Tsukasa mainly):

But still, here, there, everywhere, loners, manji, Gen Z, even monkeys want it.

Loners=Rui Manji (a sign of good things to come)=Tsukasa (being surrounded by good luck charms; kanji 天 being associated with heaven; inviting Rui to WxS) (edit: manji is also a slang for excitement, which Tsukasa literally is for Rui) Gen Z=Nene (digital age, playing video games) Monkey=Emu (in Rui's picnic card and Emu in Sky's Edge)

(In NY2, Emu ended up drawing tons of big luck omikuji, and Tsukasa is surrounded by monkeys in Island Panic - so you can suggest their roles are reversed. But the robot monkey Tsukasa in picnic suggests Tsukasa isn't a real monkey.)

Curtain Call and Backlit Lens Flare together show how not addressing and expressing fears properly and simply moving on changes nothing. Self-awareness and powering through is useless advice - anyone who's had troubles with lovers, friends and family know you need to talk and accomodate each other. Or not, is it even feeling loved and cared anymore, isn't it just about control then?

In Resonate with You, Shiho makes Leo/need think through their choice to join her into becoming a professional, rather than accepting them right off the bat. She knows from her prior experience working with people that half-hearted musicians would only fail, suffer and drop out. It is only by Leo/need wholeheartedly declaring their intentions of facing music sincerely and seriously that Shiho is convinced that they can all do it together for sure. This is such a contrast to Rui in Curtain Call where he decides on his own that he will find a way for WxS to achieve their dream together, while barely thinking at all. And he winds up focusing so much on making sure WxS stays together. You need to think it through, face the future seriously and talk properly. NOT JUST LEAVE IT THERE!!

Or else you'll lose sight of your original motivation from focusing too much on things that don't really matter as much to you: you'll just end up half-hearted.

Further proof that Backlit Lens Flare is Rui's realization of his half-heartedness since Curtain Call, is that Tsukasa gets angry at him in CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY like he does in Halloween. It isn't even a desperate shout to save someone - it's like a look of pure judgmental disappointment, as if they've been through this already. Stop lying.

He already shouted in anger in Halloween. If that didn't reach Rui, then there was no point in being all angry anymore.

Rui was repeating Halloween, trying so hard to protect the place he belongs to and forgot what he himself truly wants. From there, the lyrics in the entire CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY are self-explanatory: what happened to the things you wanted to sing? (I was so happy with the lyrics because it was exactly what I was thinking in Curtain Call but no one seemed to care).

One thing you can never take away from Rui is that he is a very, very passionate guy. He loves what he does that he would spend every waking hour of his day working on it. Even if he's become a shell of his former self, his body is still naturally drawn to shows (Samsa Kanade reference heh). And Rui himself believes himself to be purely passionate too. So when he realizes that passion has been thoroughly dirtied, it makes sense he's as angry as he is in CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY.

In Anni 2, Rui says he didn't know what he wanted to do like Mafuyu, but then he corrects himself to say he THOUGHT he knew.

"Actually, in the past, I didn't know what I wanted to do." "No... I should say that I thought I knew, but I actually didn't know at all."

For a brief moment, Rui thought he was just like Mafuyu with nothing to call his own. Until he quickly remembers that he did indeed have something he wanted to do, but claims to have been mistaken.

Why did you briefly relate to a girl who felt like she had nothing she wanted to do like everyone else, if that isn't a sign of his current state of mind - feeling like he has no dreams like WxS, and having to keep up with them so that he can feel like he belongs (discussed later in the parallels with Cinema). His lost passion became more evident at this point of the story.

If you 'thought you knew', then that means it was once a genuine feeling too. Even if you're alone, doing what you love is still fun - Shiho in her Focus 3, 'That Day, The Sky Was Far Away' demonstrates this. Although she had been let down by the bandmates, she was still fine alone because music made her feel better. And she even inspired Mihane because of her enthusiasm. After all, what you love to do should make you happy to some extent.

In comparison, Rui seems to have forgotten that shows were actually fun in middle school (probably because Stick to Your Faith never happened for him). When he approached Mizuki, he was standoffish and didn't think to introduce Mizuki to the fun of shows even when they expressed some interest in it. Probably because he couldn't even remember it himself. But being able to make that decision suggests he did still have some semblance of emotions that felt like shows were fun. Once again, a walking corpse of his chiildhood.

In the end, it's like he already lost this original joy for shows since middle school, and then grew even more confused about what made him happiest with the new joy he experienced after finding a place in WxS. He hasn't been able to wholeheartedly enjoy his passion because he's been continuously rejected, and he thought he was having fun when WxS accepted him - but in the end, that fun was from finally finding a place.

Update: Tetrad gives more implications of how Rui had gone astray post-Curtain Call. Tsukasa and Rui sing together, "We're facing the same direction", but Rui appears troubled. It's like Rui can't declare that he is chasing his dreams as confidently as the rest of WxS. Deep down, a part of him probably knew this even before Backlit Lens Flare happened but was afraid of facing it.

I would further go on to associate CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY to both Kitty and Cinema which its imagery resembles. The card set takes place in Shibuya where Kitty takes place in, and Cinema uses the same director's cut + Tsukasa's trained card directly mentions Cinema on the billboard.

There's also the naming that is clearly based on Jackpot Sad Girl - which I think just goes to highlight how both Rui and Mafuyu have the power through it mindset that it lands them dead and sad respectively: people need to reconcile their differences with others to truly love and feel alive (Rui) and people can't endure stress for too long without getting depressed (Mafuyu). Both ignored their human needs and thus this is where they wound up.

The parallel with Kitty feels like it's also within the overall messaging - how facing things can lead to losing yourself even more when you aren't mentally prepared and have no clear-cut answer (sounds similar to what Rui carelessly did in Curtain Call, doesn't it?). In Mafuyu's case, she seemed about ready to change herself again to please her mother, and in Mizuki's case, opening up to Niigo would make them more sensitive to what they say and probably even change themselves so as to not be left alone. Mizuki has even expressed this sentiment once by dressing as a boy in middle school, when they already knew they loved cute things since childhood and was even reaffirmed by their sister.

In Our Survival and Escape, the point is made that it's BECAUSE Mizuki never opened up to Niigo that they were able to protect their heart. Compare this to Rui, who bore everything about himself to WxS by not holding back with his performances and past and thus gained their unconditional acceptance. As a result, he becomes swayed by them when he realizes that things would come to an end and becomes preoccupied with stopping it even at the cost of himself - his passion. If Mizuki had similarly put their utmost trust in Niigo like this, it wouldn't be surprising either if they quickly get swayed to stop expressing themselves too if one of them ever expressed dismay (hinting that they would leave).

Thus, in order to find the answer to real love, you have to protect your heart first, even if it means running away and distancing yourself from others (Kitty). But unlike Mizuki, Rui was taught from childhood to simply not care about what people say, so he has never been aware of just how much words can affect you (compare the advice Mizuki's sister and Rui's mom gave them: completely different). This winds him up in CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY, where he's unknowingly adjusting himself for WxS to not leave him.

As for Cinema, both songs capture how Akito and Rui's struggles and fears at the time feel like the exact same - being left behind and losing your place because you weren't enough, to the point of losing who you really are (Akito pushing himself to be passionate to match everyone else, Rui falling into the trap of peer pressure to match everyone else. What they envy in 'everyone else' is how they want things that Akito and Rui don't feel like they really care about and view as meaningless. But in truth, they don't care about it only because they're more concerned about belonging - they've always had it deep down in them.).

But in Akito's case, VIVID BAD SQUAD directly reaches out for him when he pushes himself far too much and forces himself to suffer to make up for his lack of talent. That's why Akito is reassured that even at his weakest and most pathetic, there will be people there who refuse to leave him alone. So Cinema feels like Akito freely lamenting on how he's different from the people, that he can't keep up with them, but with VBS by his side, he feels like it's fine to find and pursue who he truly is.

On the other hand, CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY feels like Rui's suppressed spite from having to keep up with WxS in order to not be left alone. Because everyone else will betray him, it has to be and can only be WxS who've endured him until now. It's the first time he found people who would stay, so he's desperate not to lose them that he would subconsciously change himself so he can keep matching their needs. And the realization makes him spiteful, because he's lost what was fun for him from that need to change for others to stay. And he's left to stay lost to the very end, because the only way right now for him to be himself and stop worrying is by others matching him instead, but there is no way to 100% control people - compared to Akito who found his answer by coming to terms with the impossibility to control yourself to be someone else. Because VBS was there to accept him as he was when he was trying so hard to be someone else.

Rui will probably eventually realize he has to just accept he's lost his passion from the fear of being alone and stop lamenting controlling everything around him, once he gets tired of it and reaches his limit like Akito in Stray Bad Dogs.

Suddenly everyone started up onto a nonsense scenario (Whatever you do, wherever you look, there's a traffic of influencers.)

It's just like a movie, exactly like a movie. (But still, here, there, everywhere, loners, manji, Gen Z, even monkeys want it.)

No matter where you go, there's a story. (Just give me a punchline, its meaning can be whatever.)

Cinema and CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY are like the perspectives of two boys who feel like outsiders to the world, but one is actively trying change himself to belong somewhere and the other finds himself suddenly facing peer pressure when he used to not care about belonging somewhere. It's even contrasted in Akito's customer service front and Rui's indifference to school terrorism that they are foils of one another in a society. And probably why Akito hates Rui too - for taking any means necessary to achieve what he wants without a care for people, when Akito has spent his life working hard to be equals to people in order to belong.

[More similarities in lyrics, in no particular order (CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY in brackets):

Traffic’s already jammed up now. Oh well, nothing I can do about that anyway (Whatever you do, wherever you look, there's a traffic of influencers.)

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this.” "What was it supposed to be like then?" (What happened to things you wanted to sing about?)

Back then I'm sure it was there. The thing that I envisioned was there. When was it that I... (There must have been something you wanted to sing about.)

What are you playing at? Who are you trying to be? There's no way you could be that, right? (At this rate this will never end. What you want definitely isn't money.)]

Maybe it's coincidence, but the lyrics in Cinema also reference Curtain Call very early on:

Someday it'll be bye-bye when the end comes, so Smile for the curtain call and applause.

Cinema is accepting of it and faces it head-on. Rui still avoids it.

And Cinema also captured what happened in Backlit Lens Flare with Bakuno. Something Rui couldn't figure out on his own without Sakaki and Emu:

If you're not suited for the role, Then just rewrite the script!

This is as if implying Akito realizes early on that people are all different, and there may come a time you have to part because of your differences. So you don't have to keep worrying about fitting in - try your best to be yourself instead and smile when it all ends.

This is something that Rui hasn't faced at all, so it's pretty meta that he hadn't thought of matching the actor's individualities. It seems he's lived with the belief that directors have to adjust themselves according to the level they believe the actors are on and actors have to work their hardest to live up to the director's wishes at all times - because the director knows best. Instead of truly understanding their actors for who they are as individuals and what they individually need.

"I always try to cast actors in a way that brings out their strengths." "That's why I always get you to play the role of a type that is easiest for you to match."

And this becomes a regret for Rui in the same story - realizing that he hadn't thought enough about what Tsukasa really wanted and needed.

"...I feel a little regretful that I hadn't thought that far."

Nene's surprise at Rui's words further imply that this isn't how he normally is. That he wouldn't be thinking so much about people and their personal needs.

It isn't therefore surprising that he agrees with and commits to the mindset that he has to power through his emotions without speaking to anyone. He expects that from his actors, and applying it to real life, it means that your role and scenario have already been decided from birth and what was left was living up to it. It's frighteningly similar to the lyrics in Engeki, which I wasn't even thinking about. Except it wasn't forced on him but rather something Rui decided on his own, with no harmful intent from the people who fed that mindset. Even before KAITO - it was his mother who unknowingly instilled this in him:

"People are people, I am myself. If you take care of what you like, someday you'll be able to make friends too. Like how I met your dad." (i.e. don't bother with the painful things around you, just keep doing what you do and keep going until you get there.)

And hence why this commission is full of firey anger. The story tramples on the way Rui has lived until now, proving him wrong when he thought he finally found his answer by powering through his fear of losing WxS. How it made him realize that he had at some point been driven by something petty like being with friends forever and lost the passionate part of him, the one who would do anything to satisfy himself. He's realized he's no longer having fun like the child he used to be, evident from the lyrics that start off with how he no longer has anything he wants to convey.

"Now let's all laugh. Aren't views more important than art? A terrible price for the virus. So what will you do? Is that really fine?" The lyrics are as if Rui is finally realizing that everything he's been doing, making people smile up until now, has been just for views (for WxS to stay around), and it finally makes him question, is this what he really wants??? Where did all the passion, fun and self-satisfaction that he thought he was making shows for went to???

(This is a more literal translation, the popular TL translates it as Then what do we do? Was that how it was supposed to go?)

I don't know if it's clear now - but in conclusion, CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY feels very much like Rui realizing how he was more focused on protecting his place over enjoying what he does. The first lines of the song do seem to be screaming a spitefulness in not being able to just do what you enjoy: "No one wants to listen (...), I don't have anything I want to convey (...)"

That's why CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY is an ironic name, appearing on the director's cut to imply they're filming a movie of Rui's life. How Rui had been living dead against his own self - falling victim to peer pressure (trends) to protect his place in WxS. Until Sakaki reminds him of the heights his true self wanted to reach and reignites the passionate fire for theatre inside him.

In summary, to simplify it, CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY's parallels come together to tell a complete story about Rui Kamishiro (biased but idc): 1) Jackpot Sad Girl: The unhealthiness of Rui and Mafuyu's mindset of powering through what they think they want without properly talking to people. 2) Kitty: How putting your trust in people can sway your heart and steer you away from what you truly want, something Mizuki knows and thus avoids but not Rui. 3) Cinema: A combination of Jackpot Sad Girl and Kitty - how a person with Rui's mindset is left feeling angry and confused when realizing he has lost himself from having his heart unexpectedly swayed by people. This is foiled by a complete opposite like Akito who has lived a life with no reason to truly call his own and is bitterly aware of how it is all because his life has always been completely defined by other people.

(Man, I LOVE the Cinema foils so much. Akito and Rui are such perfect opposites I LOVE THEM.)

And finally, from the end of CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY:

Devoid of soul, music remains silent Unheard lyrics conceal their essence; without playback, music loses its meaning. Thus, modern music is pronounced deceased.

YES. YES. DEVOID OF SOUL AS I SAID, HOW RUI KAMISHIRO FEELS LIKE A WALKING CORPSE OF HIS CHILDHOOD. PLAYBACK!!! LOOK BACK AT YOUR PAST AND FIND YOURSELF!!! REMEMBER THE JOY AND PASSION YOU CAN'T GIVE UP RUI-KUN!!! Stop trying to keep people around, face solitude and be brave: what's most important is to be yourself!

Backlit Lens Flare felt like a reawakening for Rui, and it's why it's one of the best stories alongside Pandemonium for me. If Tsukasa is completely avoidant, then Rui is full of blatant lies. But of course because the writers will never clearly describe the emotions in WxS stories, I can't confirm this is the intended interpretation. It's just my own personal interpretation that I enjoy best and makes most emotional sense to my personal experiences.

But my opinions are bound to change because there are soooo many ways of seeing things. For now, this is what I think of Rui Kamishiro in Backlit Lens Flare and CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY.

#project sekai #rui kamishiro #kamishiro rui #wonderlands x showtime #wxs #it's so difficult to talk about rui #i do kinda get how this feels but i guess it's hard to put into words because of how dull the feeling is and you don't even know its there #until you do something thats out of character for yourself #someone whos always trying to convince themselves they dont care when people hurt them will get it #ok i take back my comments on the popular tl of cyberpunk dead boy being biased its just difficult to translate lol #rui is literally set for failure and doomed by the narrative #im sorry i keep editing i just find it so hard to put my thoughts about rui into words

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starlightbelle · 1 month ago

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Breakdown of noteworthy shots of the HTTYD live-action trailer

Just some things that stood out to me. Some pleasantly surprised me, others...severely underwhelmed me.

Berk looks cool. I like these exposition shots a lot.

Hiccup and Stoick's discussion sounds and looks amazing. I'm really liking Hiccup's voice in that scene. Surprise no. 1!

The dragons look really cool. Very reptilian, which I like. I'm just disappointed that Toothless doesn't seem to share that design choice.

My favorite shot of Stoick in the whole trailer!

I like the embroidery on Hiccup's sleeves. The costuming so far looks really good.

THIS SCENE. Hiccup's actor seems so sincere and genuine in his turmoil, his internal struggle. I love what we've seen of this scene.

Hiccup also looks very young (as he should), you really get the sense of how this young boy is grappling with the weight of pressures and expectations placed on him contrary to his nature. He looks so torn and I think the actor did a fantastic job making that believable.

The best Toothless looks in the whole trailer, imo.

eh. Toothless still looks so cartoony, so animated. I was hoping he'd look REAL. I'm a bit disappointed.

This shot really bugs me. Because of the character design in the style of the original animated film, Hiccup takes up more room in the frame. (The design gives him a bigger head which takes up more space) Here, we don't have that so there's all this dead space around Hiccup that makes for a very bland visual. It's uninteresting to look at.

We also really don't need this scene to be a 1:1 recreation of the original scene. I think that takes away part of its charm. They should make it their own and commit to interpreting it a little different this time around, I think that would be more interesting (and more welcome)!

This shot I included mainly because in the trailer there's this BOOMING triumphant sound that plays during Forbidden Friendship, which I strongly dislike. In John Powell's original composition, this is the quietest part of the piece. For good reason. It's supposed to make you hold your breath, it's supposed to make an emotional impact.

I realize they're banking on this scene (and the whole movie, really) being the nostalgia-bait because of its familiarity but this is actually my least favorite part of the trailer.

The logo looks cool. I like the choice to stylize the text so that it looks like blades (since Hiccup is a blacksmith's apprentice and makes weapons), and I also really like Toothless as the 'O' in dragon.

Overall, my first impressions are:

Hiccup surprised me, I actually enjoyed what I've seen of his portrayal so far.

The designs of the (non-Toothless) dragons look really neat! Like they ran with the original designs but made them more reptilian and believable.

Unfortunately that doesn't seem to extend to Toothless, at least as far as I can tell. I've seen many people excited for the way Toothless looks, and I really wish I could share in that glee, but (so far at least) it isn't doing it for me. Also his animation looks like they used the exact same rig to get the movement parallel as possible to the original scene, which is offputting to me.

Costuming and scenery look cool. I'm excited to see more interiors; as that always fascinated me even in the original film.

The musical theme ALWAYS gives me chills. John Powell the genius that you are.

#how to train your dragon #httyd 2025 #my post #ramblings

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dimalry · 2 months ago

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Previous anon here 🙋🏼‍♀️

And yes I agree. Sjm did not handle it very well since people have been fighting each other for over a year now and I believe people can have different opinions on it. I accept that people can see the situation in different ways because of how it was handled and/or from the bits they remember since most of us haven't read the books in a while 😅. I too haven't read them in a long time but from what I remember I didn't see it as SA or know all the details of what happened. And there are a lot of very similar debates happening in the fandom and there aren't any new ones, just a repeat of the same arguments people used one month ago, I guess this is a way to keep the fandom alive since we haven't been given anything?? But idk lol. I just keep to myself most of the time when I see someone having a different opinion as me and just continue with the things I enjoy.

Because of the way she handles certain topics, he have people arguing over who‘s right constantly. It’s actually so interesting how everyone has their own Interpretation of the text. There’s some beauty that comes with that, but people rather want everyone to think like them and that leads to this wildness in the fandom. When you have someone getting so triggered over your opinions, not only do they attack you but they create 5 more posts talking trash about you, that’s how you know the fandom is WILD 💀

When Rhys was first introduced I shipped Feysand right away (I thought Feylin was cute but I love me some morally grey characters). Things started to become.. weird when I arrived at the utm scenes and they made me uncomfortable. I didn’t think much of it when I finished the book because I thought we‘re going to get an epic redemption arc. We didn’t. Though I still loved Acomaf, I was fairly disappointed with how it was handled. My second time reading the books it only frustrated me. I really wanted to see some good redemption arc from a morally grey character, but it turned out that he isn’t morally grey in the first place and that isn’t a trope that I particularly like 😬I like Feysand and they’re fun to draw (I have most of them still in my drafts). I sometimes think of how I would‘ve written the story. Especially after Under the Mountain, that’s when I imagine what route Feyre and Feysand together would take. I took some inspiration from the atla world (I‘m so excited to draw and share my thoughts on this when I get the time 🥹), and Rhys In my imagination is definitely held accountable (no character is safe from accountability, even my favs)

You’re one of the great people who can bring a safe space in the fandom. Minding your own business and enjoying life is very mature ✨

#feysand #acotar #sweet anon #my asks

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add1ctedt0you · 2 years ago

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I know that everyone, projecting, can have different interpretations about the same character, but I really can't understand some of them. For example "jc is an arrogant asshole" : I mean, he is an asshole, but arrogant? I personally disagree. Jiang Cheng is a kid who is grown been compared his own life to Wei WuXian, his perfect sect brother, by both his parents.

Kids like that grown with an inferiority complex, not being arrogant. And I think that the text proofs it enough :

Madam Yu stood up and mocked, "What do you want me to do? Like your father, you want me to hold my tongue? You really are an idiot. I've told you long ago that you'll never in your whole life be able to surpass the one sitting beside you. Not over cultivation, not over night-hunting, even shooting kites, you can't surpass him! It can't be helped. Who would change the fact that your mom is worse than another's? Worse it is, then. Your mom feels injustice for you, tells you countless times not to fool around with him, yet you are still defending him. Just how did I give birth to a son like you? "

Chapter 50

After a speech like that, something that seems usual for them, how in the hell jiang cheng could have ever get arrogant? How?? His mother, the one whose love he doesn't question, is saying to his face that he isn't enough, that he would never been enough. When a child grown hearing this all the time, how can become arrogant??

In fact, Jiang cheng's greatest wish in his youth is not to be the best, is to be enough, is to make his parents proud of him, is to been seen for his worth:

He raise his voice, "You killed the Xuanwu of Slaughter together with Lan WangJi, bathing in blood! How great is that?! But what about me?!"

He punched his fist into a pillar in the hall, clenching his teeth, "... I have also been running around for days, completely exhausted, with not one second of rest!"

Chapter 56

Jiang cheng is extremely upset not because he didn't kill the Xuanwu of Slaughter but because his efforts have been overlooked. "But what about me?" that's what he said and what tormented him. His father had praised wei wuxian and lan wangji, but what about jiang cheng effort? I see a kid who wants desperately love and appreciation.

I want to point out, that obviously his trauma influence his life. As anyone with an inferiority complex, he doesn't think himself good enough, so he behaves according to his belief (I strongly believe that people with inferiority complex don't always achieve everything not because they aren't able, but because they don't think to be able, - something very different - sabotaging themselves without even realizing it). For example, he doesn't think himself able to fight and win against lan wangji not necessarily because he isn't good enough, but because his inferiority complex runs deep. In fact, he is pretty good as cultivator and fighter!

When Jiang Cheng was unaware, he stuffed Zidian's ring back into his hand and sprinted toward the crowd, all the way up to the most dangerous area before the mouth of the cave. Jiang Cheng was about to chase after him when he managed to slice a few corpses, staggering. He felt that Sandu was no lighter than hundreds of pounds.

Jiang cheng, without his spiritual powers, managed to slice a few corpses. (Not having spiritual powers means that he can't heal readily and he gets tired easily)

Jiang Cheng chased over to fight Wen ZhuLiu. Wen Chao saw that his eyes were bloodshot and had on a terrifying expression. The rest of the disciples had also been excited, and there was still a gigantic beast inside the pool, the front-left claw of which had already stepped onto the shore. Wen Chao finally began to fear, "Retreat, retreat. Retreat right now!"

Without any weapon and knowing well what wen zhuliu was capable of, 17 years old Jiang Cheng chased him down. And he was so terrifying that wen chao called for retreat!

That's to say, his insecurities and fears don't ever stop jiang cheng from doing what he has to do. He doesn't feel enough because of his childhood but, nonetheless, jiang cheng is extremely hardworking and competent.

The most laughable one was the YunmengJiang Sect, the people of which either had been killed or had scattered, leaving only Jiang Cheng, who was younger than even Lan XiChen and was still a child born yesterday, who had nobody in his hands but still dared call himself sect leader, holding up the banner of rebellion as he recruited new disciples.

After lotus pier's fall, despite his young age, being younger than Lan Xichen, despite the fact that his sect has been destroyed and despite the fact that he was alone, he dared call himself sect leader, holding up the banner of rebellion recruiting new disciples! Jiang cheng worked hard every day to rebuilt lotus pier!

Within these few years, Jiang Cheng insisted on working late into the night every day. That day, just as he decided to rest early, he had to rush to Koi Tower overnight because of the thundering news.

Chapter 73

Thanks his efforts, lotus pier is reborn again as one of the greatest sect, despite her isolation. No one dares to insult lotus pier or jiang cheng himself!

So, jiang cheng is a strong sect leader, a man accustomed to give orders, but that, again, doesn't make him arrogant. He is probably proud of his sect! As every person who fights, works hard and makes every effort, he is probably proud of his achievements.

#I don't think that this makes sense #Anyway there's a tendency to portray jc in some way #When he is not like that #He has flaws #jiang cheng #mdzs #silly thoughts

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re-dracula · 2 years ago

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I was listening to another podcast at some point a while back where they had an interview with you guys to advertize re: dracula coming out. And you guys said some stuff about Lucy that hit a weird nerve with me as a history buff.

So the VA described her as polyamorous, and it triggered some conversation about how her character gets pretty maligned for it. And that last part is an adaptation issue not present in the original text.

See, victorian era courtship did not come with a presumption of exclusivity the way modern dating does. You were not off the market until you were formally engaged to be married. So the general gist of it for upper and middle class folks (like the Dracula characters most likely are) is that there is this thing called the social season. And during the season there would be all kinds of parties and events where you would meet people. And the general structure was that if you went to a dance, you should dance with a lot of different people. Get a sense of the eligible bachelors/bachelorettes. And if you were a young man, you would be expected to go and visit each of the young women you danced with that night at some point during the week after. If you hit it off, you would then start courting (visiting back and forth attending other events together etc). But, as I said above, it wasn't exclusive. So a man would court a few women, and a woman would be pretty disappointed to only be courted by one man. As the season went on couples would get engaged (anding any other ongoing courtships).

So Lucy's situation, in its original context, goes something like this: Lucy is pretty and charming. A perfect victorian maid. She has many suitors. Three of them decide she's the perfect women for them. They each want to pop the question but they are good gentlemen so they agree to all ask her the same day so she can choose between them on her own terms. She is thrilled because of course she is. Any woman in her position would be! But! Before she can make her choice Dracula comes to steal her away. She gets terribly sick and dies. But then she is not dead after all. She came back all wrong and corrupted. Even such a bright, innocent, young woman as Lucy is not immune! It's tragic what she becomes.

By the time early film adaptations roll around though, courtship was mostly replaced by dating especially in America where it hadn't been so institutionalized. And now there is an assumption of exclusivity. Those poor men being strung along by that harlot Lucy when in the end there can be only one husband. No wonder she fell victim to Dracula's charms! And like, that was the exact opposite of the point in the books. But the culture was too different by that point to read the same way. So Hollywood made Lucy an example instead of a victim.

But yeah. I heard the polyamorous comment, and had a weird mix of "yay poly representation! That rarely happens," and "put that woman back in context, or so help me!" So when I saw you guys had a blog, I had to send a little mini rant. Feel free to disregard.

Thanks for the historical context! It is hard with historical texts to keep from bringing your modern ideas to our interpretations, but as an almost completely queer crew, it was hard to ignore the subtext in:

LUCY: Why can't they let a girl marry three men, or as many as want her, and save all this trouble? But this is heresy, and I must not say it.

That’s what we’re talking about, we’re talking about subtext in a very sexy very queer-coded book. I believe the VA you’re talking about is Beth Eyre? As a professor, she knows this too and is playing with it in her performance. And she does brilliantly.

We’re not changing the text, as we’ve said before, we’re just having fun with what’s already there.

We’ll talk some more about this in our bonus eps, which I’m very excited about.

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shock-micro · 1 year ago

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Hi, I'm Mira, a silly robot on the internet! I'm... frankly, a lot of things, so I'll bring them up as necessary. To start, I'm transfem and robokin! This much should be clear. It's who I am!

I used to mainly do Minecraft stuff, trying to make the game live up to its visual potential while staying within the confines of the vanilla game's engine. Now, I don't do that as much, but it's still a fun game to mess with. Take a nice sunset from those days!

My interests are mostly gaming-related, but I've tried to dabble in art occasionally. I like all sorts of games, like Zelda, Pokémon, Minecraft, Celeste, Hollow Knight, Rain World, Cassette Beasts, Risk of Rain, Ultrakill, Bug Fables, In Stars And Time... the list goes on. I like more than that, too, and I'll keep adding more as I play more games!

I get very excited over things sometimes, so please bare with me if I ramble a lot about stuff! This includes: vagueposting about games I've become obsessed with, ranting about music or game design in something, and more!

Feel free to send me asks whether we're mutuals or not!

I do have a sona, designed by a good friend of mine, @quantumpickle! I don't quite have a reference sheet, but I don't really care if you get it inaccurate- I love seeing how different people interpret the design. Whatever you do, though, don't forget the body fat- it's a reflection of who I am, at the end of the day. If you want a good picture of what I look like, look at Pickle's amazing work:

My posts are mostly reblogs, but I always end each session of scrolling with a post of my own, to know where to end next time I log on. I try as best I can to keep this account safe for work in both reblogs and original posts, though I am an adult. I will say something if this ever changes.

I am plural, sharing a body with a rabbit girl named Moon, a zoroark named Zoey, a wasp named Aspen, and a roach named Yui. They'll chime in every once in a while, with Moon being represented by her blue text and formal language, Zoey being represented by her red text and general attitude, Aspen being represented by her orange text and her demeanor, and Yui being represented by their purple text and their cadence. You can call us "Team Berry" as a collective!

Hello, all! It's Moon. It's always a pleasure to be here! I do love an opportunity to talk to all you folks, even if I'm not usually there to respond.

heya, it's zoey. not sure how often i'll use this thing, but it's good to keep options open, y'know? ✌️.

hey guys, i'm aspen! not sure how i got here, but it's quite a treat to finally learn how you giants live! i'm always open for conversation if you send me an ask.

Greetings. I am Yui, from the same place of origin as Aspen, though a different region. Fate works in mysterious ways.

I do have a partner, and I will always talk about them given the opportunity, but I carry a certain form of love for all of my close friends. The people I know mean a lot to me.

I love the simple things in life, from food, to nature, to the contrast of light and dark in both a literal and literary sense. I often find myself overwhelmed by everything that goes on in the world, but I find comfort in knowing the bad stuff is only a few bad people out of a beautifully diverse species.

If you couldn't tell, I generally prefer looking on the bright side and finding something to love about things rather than staying miserable all of the time. I don't get out much, and so I'd much rather give people that light to hold onto than spread the same old bleak story that you've heard from countless other people, regardless of how important it is to share. Change is built on hope, after all.

Change is something I believe in, more than any normal god. It's all around us, from the seasons, to the stars, to the rain, to the fleeting emotions of ours. I believe in our ability to change things, that we can all make a positive impact on our own lives, the lives of others, and the world. I believe in our ability to change ourselves, and that people shouldn't be afraid to become who they want to be. I believe some level of change is necessary for a happy life, and I strive to leave every day as a better version of myself.

Normally people put a DNI in their bio or their pinned post, but I don't really care to do that. If you're a bitch, I'll block and move on. I don't care how you use a label, or where the other folks in your head came from, or whatever other queer-adjacent drama is the hot topic, I accept you regardless. I'm ace, I still love my partner, I can love anyone, I use it/its pronouns, I'm robokin, I've got four other folks in my head and I don't know how they got here, do you really think I'd hate you for being you?

That's actually an important point- even if I do think something someone's done is unforgivable, I believe that bad people are still people. In some ways, that makes things better, they have lives outside of what they commit, but it also makes things worse when you realize someone woke up and actively chose to perpetuate genocide. Some people are genuinely that bad, others are just misguided and can be helped. Ultimately, it's not my job to "save" anyone. I just try to provide a light of kindness when I can.

Wow, that was long-winded for a post that's just supposed to describe me. I suppose that's in-character for me, though. Agree with me or not, I don't really care, as long as you're respectful. I hope you've found this post helpful in understanding who I am as a person, long-winded as it is. Have a good one, whoever and wherever you are.

(...now how do I pin this?)

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absurdly-overpowered-astronaut · 3 months ago

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@lemonpocalypse here is the Ryuji ramble :D

No pressure to read everything I ended up writing a lot (｡ó﹏ò｡)\

Okay so I’m going to start off with the bank scene because my interpretation and ensuing head canons are pretty self contained and touches on/establishes some key points of my reading. The specific scene I’m talking about is when in Kaneshiro’s palace Ryuji attempts to solve the puzzle and spells huge as H-E-W-J and I’m pretty sure he miss reads huge as hugs but its been awhile since I’ve played the game so I can’t fully remember what it is he miss-reads.

I want to play through the game in Japanese to see how this scene works in the original text but at least in the English version this scene is meant to be funny a “haha Ryuji’s so stupid he can’t even spell or read. Ryuji’s so stupid :)” but if taken seriously this actually has a some interesting and concerning implications.

Firstly this scene implies Ryuji can’t spell or write which means so many things like for example as far as we know Ryuji takes the same tests as the ones we see Ren and Ann take which are tests where you *read* the question and *write* an answer / *read* the multi choice options. If Ryuji can’t read then of course he’s failing the tests?! It doesn’t matter if you know the answers if you don’t know the question and of course he’s failing school if can’t read or write he doesn't even have the tools to participate in the system even if wanted to.

This is really fascinating to me because of how it affects the implications of his attitude towards school. Before the implication is that he’s lazy/doesn’t care about the exam’s but if he can’t do them then him not studying for them/his general recklessness attitude towards his education becomes more then laziness and more then not wanting to participate in a system it becomes that even if he tried he can’t even read the questions or physical study materials so what's the point?

Ryuji has a complicated relationship with school all the PT do to differing extents and this just layers it even more. Not only was he let down by it with the whole Kamashida situation but with this in mind he’s probably been left behind by it entirely.

we see with the PT and with track that in a different environment and when it’s something he’s passionate about he puts his whole heart into it but it seems like with school if he’s can’t read or write he’s probably had difficulties with school since he was very young and before he and his mum moved.

It also strengthens this cool parallel between Makoto and Ryuji that I really like where Makoto doesn’t see how the system has let Ryuji down and is still hurting him just sees him as not trying hard enough and Ryuji doesn’t see how the system has let Makoto down and is still hurting her because of her school president good student reputation.

In the bank scebe Ryuji seems so genuinely excited to contribute to the team so I think this shows how he trusts the PT and feels comfortable to try and spell/read but then Morgana calls him stupid…..again which is always frustrating but especially so because prior Ann tried to solve the puzzle and wasn’t treated as poorly. Ann doesn’t get berated or called stupid and this definitely isn’t to say she should be and it's still pretty mean of Morgana to say what he does but this difference in how their struggles are treated is something that's going to come up later so put a pin in that.

Though it makes Ryuji finally studying with the PT even more cute because they can/do read the questions and he can see how they write the answers. It also works really well with the themes of the game about how finding support networks can help people remove themselves from/stand up to/work with in/take down toxic systems.

Because of this line that implies he can’t read and write I headcanon that Ryuji has some equivalent to text to speech and voice type on his phone to make up for not being able to spell and read himself and that provides an in-universe explanation for why his accent shows up in his texts.

I think whenever we see him write something in the base game (idk about Strikers and P5T I have even worse a memory of them as I do of P5R) The posters during the kaneshiro arc / the calling cards. He always has access to his phone and we don’t see him do it so this head canon is surprisingly canon complaint ^^;

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Another thing that I find super interesting with Ryuji's character is his relationship to and narrative surrounding violence. There is ofcourse what happened with kamoshida/his dad but also what he does with the PT/ex-track mates and how he gets treated by them. When Ryuji stands up to Komashida he gets his legs broken as “punishment” , when he comes back after the explosion at shidos palace he gets beaten up as a “punishment” and its possible that when he and his mum where living with his dad he might have framed his physical abuse as a “punishment.” So it telling that during his confidant he offers himself up to get beat up as a punishment for what happened to the team even though it wasn’t his fault.

He seems to conflate violence/physical consequences with punishment/repentance for lack of a better words. Which makes his tendency to self sacrifice (put a pin here too) even more interesting because if he has internalised this idea that he needs to compensate for failing by being hurt then his self sacrificing tendencies and even his status has a physical party member one who drains their health points (HP) to attack becomes more complex considering this.

As well as conflating physical punishment and making up for past actions it seems he has at least in my reading internalised that things are more often than not his fault. When his legs are broken it’s his fault for not taking the abuse again when the team gets disbanded it’s his fault for not taking the abuse. The PT just assumes he’s wrong and stupid like in Kaneshiro's palace and the school just assumes he’s stupid/trouble/not worth the time which just feeds this toxic mindset.

And I think it's this dichotomy that's at the core of my reading of his character. This feeling of injustice but also like he deserves it and being hurt by the people who are and are supposed to protect you ie parents , teachers friends and the resulting lack of self worth and feeling like he has to make up for existing/mistakes that aren’t his fault.—————————————————————————————————Digging more into the self sacrificing I’m pretty sure I remember something about Ryuji and him having a higher chance or a skill or something that means he’s more likely to take hits for other party members but even if my brain just made that up we still see him do lots of self sacrifice to the detriment of his life/health. He jumps in front of a car in the Kaneshiro arc , he does the boat sacrifice in Shido’s palace , jumps in in the 3rd semester , I think theres a moment at the start of P5T and is the one to touch almost all the trauma doors in Strikers.

This all ties into what I said earlier about his relationship with violence but also with how the PT treats him. Ryuji is belittled , insulted , devalued , seen as lesser in comparison to other characters especially Makoto and Ann.

Morgana and sometimes other party members call him stupid and even when other thieves don’t join in they are still complicit. Because of this I believe he has internalise this idea he has to compensate for existing essentially and just like how he feels he has to compensate for his mum having to take care of him alone by getting into a good university with track just like how he feels he has to compensate by being part of the PT.

Conversely I also think he is self sacrifices because he cares about the PT so much! That's his community! The people he feels a kinship with , those are his guys, his friends! :D The people who he feels like he understands and who can understand him on a deeper level.

(To get side tracked quickly I think that's why he hates Akechi so much. He see’s Akechi as a threat to that family, that community , that acceptance and validation he sees him as an insider as just like one of those rotten adults criticizing them but then after he learns about him he’s not longer an insider he’s a victim of the system like them and that's why his opinion flips so quickly. Akechi much like the phantom thieves to the world was a symbol to Ryuji and once he became a person and no longer a symbol / saw how he was just like the PT he cared about him.)

Ryuji can be inconsiderate and rude but he cares much about the PT and I’m glad that this is an aspect of him that receives a lot of fandom focus from what I’ve seen. It's also one of the big reasons I love him so much as a character is because he cares! —————————————————————————————————I feel like Ryuji’s character is driven by yes a sense of belonging / anger at the world but also a deep sense of guilt: over what happened with the track team , overburdening his mum or even just expressing himself/his ideas sometimes. Ryuji wants validation that's why he gets so caught up in the PT’s fame he wants to know he’s doing the right thing he wants to help people like him and his friends.

When you grow up in an abusive environment to over simplify you tend to fall into thinking either

You must be doing something wrong because why would a parent , someone who is supposed to care about you hurt you if there wasn’t something wrong with you.

You must be right and your parent is in wrong because why would a parent someone who is supposed to care about you hurt you if there wasn’t something wrong with them

You either cling to the certainty that your parents must be right or the certainty you must be wrong. (again oversimplification due to the scope of the post) and I think Ryuji has internalized both these ideas and applies them to school and the PT.

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I’ve talked about it a bit in the prior paragraphs but now I really want to dig into the narrative implications of the jokes constantly made at Ryuji’s expense. Ryuji is a bit of a punching bag for the narrative…quite literally. As much as I despise these scenes and feel like they go against the game's narrative , tone and themes with the PT just repeating the same toxic mentalities of the systems that oppressed them, the implications of the jokes do actually play off some other stuff in interesting ways.

There is this idea throughout the game (and throughout the post I did not expect to harp on about this so much :’] sorry if it's becoming tiresome...) that Ryuji is the “dumb one”

With in the narrative we see him called call stupid constantly , put in embarrassing situations at his own expense , almost get the PT exposed and such but even beyond the dialogue these ideas are even somewhat reinfected by game play. If you have Ryuji in your party up until Futaba’s palace your going to hear a lot of Morgana complaining about Ryuji just from the fact he’ll inevitability he is going to miss hits. The player is often given the choice to gang up on Ryuji/throw him under the bus the first example that comes to mind is when you can tell Akechi Ryuji and only Ryuji is a phantom thief (though there are times where you can stand up for him they are less often) so even the game play reinforces this tired joke.

(Another aside I think Morgana calls Ryuji pathetic and such to compensate for his own self worth issues. He need to re-affirm that he is important and needed and if he’s better then Ryuji then he can feel good about himself/important and he doesn’t actually stop to think how his words could effect Ryuji because to him its not about Ryuji being dumb its about him being important. So when Ryuji calls Morgana useless (I think as abit of a jab back at morgana) it really gets to morgana because of the reversal of power dynamics now ryuji is the one calling him useless so he can’t use Ryuji to re-affirm himself)

Ryuji’s experience is devalued in comparison with others, specifically Ann. Ann’s sexual assault plot is treated with more dignity , seriousness and weight as it should be. When Ann gets harassed it's an issue the other PT and the narrative care about and treat with the seriousness and respect be fitting the situation (uh mostly….Ann’s outfit and the jokes at the expensive of her due to it do contradict the more seriousness the issue otherwise has) but when ryuji is at the very least kidnapped and harassed during the Kanoshiro arc it is just a joke and the PT get made at him for being late when was literally kidnapped and Ren/Morgana did nothing?!

Another example is when he sacrifices himself on in shido’s places his experience of almost dying is devalued in comparison to the other PT’s pain over thinking they lost him.

The Shinjuku scene specifically makes me really angry that anyone ever thought it was a good idea but also that the PT’s just don’t care that their friend was kidnapped by two older men they don’t know?!

A problem I have with both p5 and p4 in general is how they want to have their cake and eat it too tonally.

They want to have the grounded narrative of physical abuse with Ryuji but want to turn around and do physical slapstick. They want to have a grounded narrative about predatory behaviour and turn around have a joke about sexual assault (and that’s not even getting into the homophobic and sexist undertones of the Shinjuku scene)

I also mentioned Mikoto earlier and how establishing her as smart kinda came at the expense of Ryuji. With lines like when morgana says Mikoto is so smart! not like Ryuji but the thing is I really don’t think Ryuji is dumb? He’s just behind in school/internalised the fact that he is. He shows he is actually pretty introspective/emotionally intelligent when he calls up Ren towards the end of the game , during the whole Akechi situation and he contributes to the planning of the PT operations more then people give him credit for. To bring back a prior example we see with the bank puzzle mentioned earlier he was on the right track not quite there but close.

—————————————————————————————————Talking more about personal headcanons I like to headcanon that Ryuji’s mum saw being in a relationship as necessary and that's part of the reason she stayed she stayed in an abusive relationship for so long on top of social pressure the difficulty and shame associated with divorce ect and I like to think that Ryuji picked up this idea that he needs a partner/warped perception of relationships from her as well as society at large because to me at least it would make sense and I think provides more nuance to their relationship. Though I don’t have any specific scene or evidence to support this.

Both Ryuji and his mum want to help each other. So she works and worked really hard at her job and he wants to help her so he worked really hard at track. They both want to protect the other so I think they lie about things. Ryuij’s mum about the toll of the abuse / working and Ryuji about the phantom thieves and some other struggles.

Ryuji says alot of not so great things about women and this and the aforementioned head canon isn’t to justify and say its okay but his interest in girls comes off to me as performative? YEs SincE ITs JuST Us DuDE bRo GuYs LeTS TaLk ABoUT girls! thats what GUYS take about right?

I think he thinks whether that be because of his mum , someone else or just society in general that this is how he is supposed to act/this is how masculinity works and maybe this is just me but this feels like such a com-het response.

————————————————————————————————— aghghghg I haven’t really managed to articulate my thoughts well but hopefully it’s at least somewhat coherent ^^; theres a couple things I didn’t get to just because I don’t remember enough of the games to provide adequate evidence for my points but to sum what I did write up my thoughts I think Ryuji wears a mask in his own way this isn’t to say he isn’t a extremely honest , outspoken and genuine person just that I think he’s learnt to internalised he’s stupid/wrong and to perform masculinity/that things do bother him as much as they do ect and that the PT both provide him with the environment and support he needs but re-enforce some toxic mentalities. He was done a dirty by the narrative by constantly being made into just comic relief but somehow it all loops back around to being interesting.

#THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR OPPORTUNITY TO RAMBLE ON ABOUT THE BOY :D #TYSM!

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