#I get treated like a child either way

[rayvern-sheep]

Hmm I seem to be using words wrong, I’m a native English speaker right, but I get that sometimes I don’t know words.

I thought that “I don’t want that” was the opposite of “I do want that” but I seem to have the meanings wrong? Like “I don’t want that” is a more specific version of “no”. Does that makes sense?

These elaborate social games are fucking exhausting… why do I have to have a full week-long mental breakdown in which I throw shit around and beg to be locked in a fucking asylum for my “no” to be taken seriously.

[lgbtlunaverse]

Horrible thing to say but I think there's a real chance Jiang Yanli was both of her parents' least favorite child and knew it and just kinda. Had to go on with her life knowing that.

[commsroom]

this is a sensitive topic for me, so i really hate that i have to make this post, but unfortunately it keeps becoming relevant: stop infantilizing hera, and stop making excuses for it.

"well, she's literally four years old" she's been fully conscious with an adult mind for most of that, awake for most of that, and in multiple places at once for most of that. do you think that is comparable to a child's life experience, or is it maybe representative of something else?

i assume you understand why it would be wrong to call lovelace "literally two" because the fact that she is a clone is textually representative of the trauma she's been through. i also assume you understand why hera occasionally making flippant or frustrated comments about her own struggles living as an AI is different from the text telling you who she is or how you should regard her. it's science fiction, and it's a show that uses science fiction concepts in ways that resonate with real ones. the ultimate fact of the matter is that hera could've been in a lab for 30 years, or for 200 years, in a different setting, and be written the exact same way: as a sheltered, isolated adult woman without real life experiences.

hera is not a child or teenager in a natural stage of development. she is an adult who never went through the usual stages of development or life milestones, who has adult friendships and responsibilities, but who feels she is permanently ill-equipped to handle her life because no one ever taught her how, or gave her the space to make mistakes. if you don't understand why this distinction is important in discussing her trauma, that there are real, adult people who feel the same way, people who feel they've only been alive for four years, women who were never girls... then i really don't know what to say to you.

and i guess i have to say it: it's inherently infantilizing to say her peers see her the same way they see an actual child, or to say she needs them to be parental figures, especially eiffel of all people. "adult women have parents too" not ones that are 30 year old men! and parents have responsibilities to children, even adult children, that are different from the responsibilities two unrelated adults who care about each other have. it fundamentally reframes hera's most equal relationship in a way that diminishes her autonomy within it. (and if you're arguing it's all equal anyway, then what does it add? why don't you consider friendship as important?)

i know some people will dismiss that point because i view eiffel and hera romantically, but i've never argued you have to. if you want to go down that road, it says some pretty awful things about the couple of writers and actors who also view it romantically if you think she was meant to be viewed as a child, much less comparable to his child. you're inventing problems that don't canonically exist.

i just don't understand why you would make it about eiffel at all - and eiffel does not have the right to be a parent; the only thing that will heal his relationship with his real actual child is in relation to his real actual child - instead of discussing what a disabled, isolated, traumatized adult might be able to offer a disabled, traumatized kid. isn't the whole point of hera not being like pryce about breaking cycles? why make her a passive figure in her own story when her entire story arc is about taking control of her life?

there's no utility to this line of thought that doesn't further demean and alienate her, while implying she isn't ready to be a fully autonomous adult person. i don't think most people mean to be ableist, but hera is canonically a disabled woman, and i don't like where that line of thought leads. and yes, she's just a fictional character and can't be hurt by it, but everyone brings some real-world biases to how they engage with fiction. she's written as a marginalized adult person, and her womanhood is textually tied to defense of her personhood and autonomy (as well as a parallel to lovelace, also a marginalized woman.) to paraphrase minkowski - "you are going to show [that woman] some goddamned respect."

[firestorm09890]

horrifying realization about how I've characterized Zexion

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

Interesting. Don’t necessarily think I’m autistic but I have more going on than just ADHD and I’m not sure what that is.

[inkykeiji]

lil con haul!! (ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧

by far my favourite piece of merch from this weekend (and my favourite photo from the con HAHAHA) (∗˃̶ ᵕ ˂̶∗) i actually hadn’t even realized there was a dabi cosplayer in front of me at first—i had only spotted the plushie, and i was so over the moon about it that it took me a while to notice he was technically, kind of, standing right in front of me (my boyfriend was like ‘i can’t believe i spotted them before you did!’ because i usually spot dabi cosplayers very quickly) >.<

and then i got these!!! and a ton of chocolate and this japanese candy that i thought was gum but was, in fact, definitely not gum (still good tho!)

anyway we had such a blast and i am sad that it’s over but happy with my lil goodies here c:

[jackass-jones]

Honestly though I think it’s really a bad sign when I look at Shin Tsukimi and literally feel like he’s a self insert 😩

[unproduciblesmackdown]

another day another "applying the concept 'disposability' to 'someone withdraws from a personal relationship, & that wasn't signed off on by the other'" kill me

[gold-wolf-soldier13]

I’m a lil drunk and about to kick a hornets nest but idc i gotta speak my truth-

I don’t like that Lucien is Helion’s son and personally I’ll never see him as a poc character. The boy is white.

SJM made him mixed for cheap drama and representation points and it’s honestly like her second biggest sin my opinion (after ruining the soulmate trope) because as a mixed kid myself that was raised by my white family I just know the way she’s gonna handle it will ofc be just as disrespectful as the Illyrians and the rampant sexual abuse she so casually throws around.

Lucien being mixed and being so horrifically abused by his white-as-snow stepfather/step brothers is a perpetuation of the actual abuse that can and often does happen to mixed race kids, especially black kids, by their adoptive families. I got soo lucky that my mother later married a man that treated me no different than his other kids and gets along with my dad- there are thousands of stories that don’t end nearly as happily as mine.

And ik it’s been said before but it does also perpetuate the idea that black or poc people, even unintentionally, are worse, lazy, or even deadbeat parents because supposedly Helion was so in love with the Lady of Autumn and never once assumed that Lucien could be his when SJM goes out of her way to retcon how much they look alike now. He’s just perfectly content to watch her and her children suffer under Beron no matter how sad it makes him.

I have so many feeling about this and some of them are really contradictory and I can’t find the right words for them rn so I think I’m just gonna leave it at this.

It was unnecessary and cruel of SJM to make Lucien mixed.

[snekdood]

bitches really be treating you like a dumb bimbo when you're blonde huh

[sualne]

been looking for jobs for three years and in the past two months ish I’ve gotten for the first time my first job interview and for a different job my first job essay.

(I did have an actual job as a comic colorist for like six months but nobody around me considered it a Real Job so I feel like I just never have a job even though I very much did.)

and each time, during the interview where I know realise I was kind of being explained the whole time why I wouldn’t get the job and at the end of the essay(which might not be the right word, like a day we’re your try out the job to see if you can do it) one of the reasons given why I wouldn’t be taken it was ‘we need people who can smile’.

(there were actual argument like being ‘too introverted’ and ‘not dynamic enough’. That last one is funny because i had another ‘almost pass out for no reasons’ moment right for break time (genuinely perfect timing) during the essay and while I was cold sweating and going blind on the bathroom floor I realised, if anyone ever know I have health issues I will never get a job. So being told I wasn’t dynamic enough a fourty something minutes later was straight up comedic).

Back to the smiling, my entire life since I was a literal baby I’ve been told I wasn’t expressing the Right Way. ‘If you feel a specific way you Have to emote this specific way, act this specific way and not do anything else otherwise you’re not actually feeling what you say you’re feeling, it means you’re actually lying, faking it or don’t know what you’re actually feeling because your not showing it the Right Way’ and obviously I’ve dismissed this my entire life because I was sure it was obvious and everyone knew that everyone exist differently and people don’t act the same. I kind of assume everyone that ever bothered me about it was some flavor of 1 having a day and decided to being weird about it to me or anyone else that was also not existing the correct way. 2 just kind of an asshole and therefor they’re opinion didn’t matter. 3 just kind of strange about thing and so be it, ´not my problem tho’ I thought.

But seeing how it’s an actual argument people have use twice now to refuse me a job I’m kind of being thinking, it might actually, for real, be a thing people actually are worried about, actually. Which is wild, but also make sense because people have very much for my whole life, to me and to a ton of strangers, made comments on folks not existing the proper way. Like how in horror someone being slightly off, slightly wrong, a little bit not how it usual should be is the trope of all time. And I love this trope, someone who’s voice is in differed from how they mouth work, someone who seems to not walk directly on the floor but just slightly above it. It’s fun and interesting.

Anyway, real life stuff, being told I’m not smiling enough is wild, like yeah I don’t smile much at all that’s a fact, and both job were about interacting with people and every time you go to a restaurant you’ll ear someone saying out of nowhere mean thing about people who work there. Insane things like ‘I don’t like the way they’re standing’ and over analysing someone expression and body languages when they’re literally just doing their job.

This post is kind of a mess but I had a point which was, I don’t understand people and why are so many mean for no reasons but I wanted it to sound less like a kid complaining and be more verbose about it.

And (this isn’t over yet) I did force myself to smile, like I very much did, I tried my best to be as pleasant and polite as possible. And being told again, this isn’t enough, just suck. Like I have to mask and hide and deal with so much I kind of expected that of all thing I was allowed to keep my face. Like people have bothered me about it my entire life and I’ve dismissed it my entire life because it just did not make sense and I couldn’t make it make sense(still can’t). But I’m genuinely at lost at what to do about it, if apparently I also have to change my face to get a job, that I need to exist the correct way in order to have the damn job in order to exist at all is all so, Not Good.

[saltedsolenoid]

i feel like one of the things that makes my new project so intriguing to me is just how childish and friendly it all feels. like. it's a partially-illustrated chapter book you pick up in your third-grade elementary library and never really forget nor remember. it doesn't have as much depth as some other things that i've worked on but it's so warm and that makes up for it all.

[e-flo]

tag rant time wee

[shatterthefragments]

My coworker: have you considered staying at a hostel instead?

Me: knowing full well that hostels don’t take locals bc they’re selling themselves as a place to travel distances for cheap: I mean it’s cheaper than rent if I got the max bed dorm :P (*I’ve checked. Still over 60% of my pay though)

Bc the friends I would be willing to rent with aren’t local at all. And I don’t trust strangers tbh. So. Yeah. I feel fucking trapped. It’s definitely not good for me. But. I don’t pay market rent for a room (plus another basically) in a house. With in house laundry. And I. I’m just tired of it.

[equalstrashflavoredtrash]

What's worse is in the thread there's 2 updates, at first she explains that she's getting back with him cus he was very apologetic saying he'll go to counseling and then another update where she says he found the reddit thread (it'd been reposted to Twitter) and was texting her abuse so she decided to ditch him for good.

Women, if your guy acts like this LEAVE HIM.

[camellia-thea]

quietly begging for people to research pregnancy and child development for fiction