#I fucking hate exclus they get into everything I like

[scp3199]

Me when I have no friends who like Midnight Horror School cuz all of them left me and rather be friends with a exclusionist than me (the exclus said bullshit about how apparently, “Trans men can’t be lesbians”) (You also just discovered that your a Trans Man, making it doubly painful):

[coridallasmultipass]

If it's okay for me to add something related because I first saw this on Tumblr: In the mid-2010s, I heard about there being a gay Filipino deity romance (from one culture in the Philippines - there are many different cultures and beliefs) here on Tumblr. It wasn't until years later when researching Philippine deities for fun while trying to broadly connect with my culture that I found a deep dive where someone found that the Bulan and Sidapa love story originated from the same fictional blog source, and had been circulating from new sources and fan art claiming it was historical for years before the author tried to find a non-modern historical source for the rumour, creating a kind of Berenstain/Berenstein effect on the people he asked, claiming they'd heard about the love story from a forgotten source much earlier than the 2010s, but unable to give a specific name, or the source cited claimed they didn't actually know about the romance.

While I think in this instance, a shift in narrative is obviously okay when you consider it is still a living Filipino culture, and people from that clearly find identity with this modern take (which should be asked of people from the cultures directly affected by misinfo), it should also be important not to rewrite it as 'historical fact' particularly when it has a fictional modern source that someone can directly point to as the origin when they question and search down the telephone line (like the game).

(I use the word 'fictional' only in reference to the originating blog, because the blog was unable or unwilling to provide any sources that mentioned that relationship to the deep dive author. I'm not implying said gods can't be/aren't gay. I'm not from that specific Philippine culture, and I don't have enough background knowledge to make any claims of my own. There's also no like, singular religious text/'bible' that pre-Hispanic Philippine beliefs followed as a rule/that can be consulted about this - it's not like a translation debate. There's just no textual source pre-dating the blog making the claim of the romance, and historians/oral historians aren't making the claim either.)

I get variations on this comment on my post about history misinformation all the time: "why does it matter?" Why does it matter that people believe falsehoods about history? Why does it matter if people spread history misinformation? Why does it matter if people on tumblr believe that those bronze dodecahedra were used for knitting, or that Persephone had a daughter named Mespyrian? It's not the kind of misinformation that actually hurts people, like anti-vaxx propaganda or climate change denial. It doesn't hurt anyone to believe something false about the past.

Which, one, thanks for letting me know on my post that you think my job doesn't matter and what I do is pointless, if it doesn't really matter if we know the truth or make up lies about history because lies don't hurt anyone. But two, there are lots of reasons that it matters.

It encourages us to distrust historians when they talk about other aspects of history. You might think it's harmless to believe that Pharaoh Hatshepsut was trans. It's less harmless when you're espousing that the Holocaust wasn't really about Jews because the Nazis "came for trans people first." You might think it's harmless to believe that the French royalty of Versailles pooped and urinated on the floor of the palace all the time, because they were asshole rich people anyway, who cares, we hate the rich here; it's rather less harmless when you decide that the USSR was the communist ideal and Good, Actually, and that reports of its genocidal oppression are actually lies.

It encourages anti-intellectualism in other areas of scholarship. Deciding based on your own gut that the experts don't know what they're talking about and are either too stupid to realize the truth, or maliciously hiding the truth, is how you get to anti-vaxxers and climate change denial. It is also how you come to discount housing-first solutions for homelessness or the idea that long-term sustained weight loss is both biologically unlikely and health-wise unnecessary for the majority of fat people - because they conflict with what you feel should be true. Believing what you want to be true about history, because you want to believe it, and discounting fact-based corrections because you don't want them to be true, can then bleed over into how you approach other sociological and scientific topics.

How we think about history informs how we think about the present. A lot of people want certain things to be true - this famous person from history was gay or trans, this sexist story was actually feminist in its origin - because we want proof that gay people, trans people, and women deserve to be respected, and this gives evidence to prove we once were and deserve to be. But let me tell you a different story: on Thanksgiving of 2016, I was at a family friend's house and listening to their drunk conservative relative rant, and he told me, confidently, that the Roman Empire fell because they instituted universal healthcare, which was proof that Obama was destroying America. Of course that's nonsense. But projecting what we think is true about the world back onto history, and then using that as recursive proof that that is how the world is... is shoddy scholarship, and gets used for topics you don't agree with just as much as the ones you do. We should not be encouraging this, because our politics should be informed by the truth and material reality, not how we wish the past proved us right.

It frequently reinforces "Good vs. Bad" dichotomies that are at best unhelpful and at worst victim-blaming. A very common thread of historical misinformation on tumblr is about the innocence or benevolence of oppressed groups, slandered by oppressors who were far worse. This very frequently has truth to it - but makes the lies hard to separate out. It often simplifies the narrative, and implies that the reason that colonialism and oppression were bad was because the victims were Good and didn't deserve it... not because colonialism and oppression are bad. You see this sometimes with radical feminist mother goddess Neolithic feminist utopia stuff, but you also see it a lot regarding Native American and African history. I have seen people earnestly argue that Aztecs did not practice human sacrifice, that that was a lie made up by the Spanish to slander them. That is not true. Human sacrifice was part of Aztec, Maya, and many Central American war/religious practices. They are significantly more complex than often presented, and came from a captive-based system of warfare that significantly reduced the number of people who got killed in war compared to European styles of war that primarily killed people on the battlefield rather than taking them captive for sacrifice... but the human sacrifice was real and did happen. This can often come off with the implications of a 'noble savage' or an 'innocent victim' that implies that the bad things the Spanish conquistadors did were bad because the victims were innocent or good. This is a very easy trap to fall into; if the victims were good, they didn't deserve it. Right? This logic is dangerous when you are presented with a person or group who did something bad... you're caught in a bind. Did they deserve their injustice or oppression because they did something bad? This kind of logic drives a lot of transphobia, homophobia, racism, and defenses of Kyle Rittenhouse today. The answer to a colonialist logic of "The Aztecs deserved to be conquered because they did human sacrifice and that's bad" is not "The Aztecs didn't do human sacrifice actually, that's just Spanish propaganda" (which is a lie) it should be "We Americans do human sacrifice all the god damn time with our forever wars in the Middle East, we just don't call it that. We use bullets and bombs rather than obsidian knives but we kill way, way more people in the name of our country. What does that make us? Maybe genocide is not okay regardless of if you think the people are weird and scary." It becomes hard to square your ethics of the Innocent Victim and Lying Perpetrator when you see real, complicated, individual-level and group-level interactions, where no group is made up of members who are all completely pure and good, and they don't deserve to be oppressed anyway.

It makes you an unwitting tool of the oppressor. The favorite, favorite allegation transphobes level at trans people, and conservatives at queer people, is that we're lying to push the Gay Agenda. We're liars or deluded fools. If you say something about queer or trans history that's easy to debunk as false, you have permanently hurt your credibility - and the cause of queer history. It makes you easy to write off as a liar or a deluded fool who needs misinformation to make your case. If you say Louisa May Alcott was trans, that's easy to counter with "there is literally no evidence of that, and lots of evidence that she was fine being a woman," and instantly tanks your credibility going forward, so when you then say James Barry was trans and push back against a novel or biopic that treats James Barry as a woman, you get "you don't know what you're talking about, didn't you say Louisa May Alcott was trans too?" TERFs love to call trans people liars - do not hand them ammunition, not even a single bullet. Make sure you can back up what you say with facts and evidence. This is true of homophobes, of racists, of sexists. Be confident of your facts, and have facts to give to the hopeful and questioning learners who you are relating this story to, or the bigots who you are telling off, because misinformation can only hurt you and your cause.

It makes the queer, female, POC, or other marginalized listeners hurt, sad, and betrayed when something they thought was a reflection of their own experiences turns out not to be real. This is a good response to a performance art piece purporting to tell a real story of gay WWI soldiers, until the author revealed it as fiction. Why would you want to set yourself up for disappointment like that? Why would you want to risk inflicting that disappointment and betrayal on anyone else?

It makes it harder to learn the actual truth.

Historical misinformation has consequences, and those consequences are best avoided - by checking your facts, citing your sources, and taking the time and effort to make sure you are actually telling the truth.

[just-antithings]

So why do some queer content creators disagree with xenogenders? Isn’t it another term for non-binary?

tw discussion of white supremacy

Short answer 1: they're exclus

Short answer 2: they're assimilationist queers who think if we can make ourselves palatable enough to The CisHets(tm), they'll be accepting. (I cannot stress enough that these people are wrong. The CisHets(tm) want zero queer people to exist, not just "the queer people they can stomach")

Long answer: a fuckton of western queer people hold bigoted internal beliefs because of being raised at the whims of white supremacy. They have not been made to challenge their internal biases and the moment these biases are challenged, in white cis queers especially, they react negatively to the Thing Making Them Uncomfortable to make the icky feeling its giving them go away.

Because that's like, the thing, right, with bigots and ableists and racists and queerphobes and antis and radfems and terfs and exclus: their solution to being made uncomfortable by something is to try and make that thing not exist, so they don't have to feel like that. After all, they can't be subjected to gross icky feelings if there's nothing around to prompt the icky feeling. It's why some bigots say they don't care "as long as they don't have to see".

Now, obviously, the healthy way of dealing with something prompting a bad feeling inside you is to. Work through that feeling. It's entirely unreasonable to demand something or someone not exist because the existence itself or just seeing that it exists makes you uncomfortable.

But that's how these people deal with it, because under white supremacy you are taught things are always someone else's problem. I'm not fucking joking - we are taught that. It's why people who have never had their worldview or authority challenged (cishet white men) deal so spectacularly badly with suddenly encountering those things. White supremacy thrives on everything being the fault of "some other guy" - the marginalized group of choice changes based on the situation and circumstances. (Which is, to be clear, super fucked up and not something I'm making light of.)

People hate on xenogenders because they're ignorant about what xenogenders are (gender related to concept of thing other than male/female ie catgender is experiencing ur gender in a cat-like way, your gender being Cat, etc & can get highly specific) and instead of trying to get educated center themselves, their own experiences with more traditional genders and gender roles, and their misguided fears that being "too queer" will make The Cishets(tm) not accept us. (They're not gonna accept us til we make them.)

Also while supremacy teaches us its okay to put aside our morals and ethics if there is an acceptable target (applies to more traditional bigotry too like racism yes. Good church going people who would never dream of saying something like that to a "normal" person because their "morals" forbid it but morals are a hat you can take off sometimes, see?). The modern internet is New Rome and everyone participates in the blood sport at the coliseum.

And no, they're not just the same thing as nonbinary.

[genderkoolaid]

"I have no clue how to word a reply to this post but honestly,,, I can't tell if it's just the villianization of detransitioning or just Everything about this post that kinda turns my brain into a train wreck" - Anonymous

okay. this is a doozy. im not gonna link the actual post (which was linked in the ask) bc I don't want to possibly be blamed for any potential hate that could get sent, but here's a screenshot.

so the implication here is that you have trans men going from believing that being trans is a medical disorder, to believing that trans men face unique oppression, to being transmisogynistic, to believing that misogyny is the basis of all oppression and only sex is real, to detransitioning to become a full TERF.

now, I can see some logic here: the fear is that focus on transandrophobia (which is believed to entail "transfems oppress us") will lead to an "AMAB vs AFAB" view, which in turn leads to bio-essentialism and "penis bad vagina good". Which is a real thing, viewing issues as "AMAB vs AFAB" IS a TERF talking point that should be called out as such when it is seen. 

But my problem with that is

 1. The dominant idea in the transandrophobia discussion is that transfems do not oppress us, do not have power over us, are not the main problem, and that solidarity with transfems is mandatory for trans liberation. While some people may fall into AMAB vs AFAB rhetoric, in my opinion that comes from a lack of understanding in transandrophobia and transmisogyny, and is not the prevailing opinion of most "TMRAs".

 2. This "pipeline" assumes that transmeds are where most "TMRAs" are coming from, and I... don't think that's true? Transmedicalism seems to be pretty universally rejected by everyone involved in the discussion. Many of us are genderqueer and nonbinary ourselves, many of us have unconventional transition goals, things that transmeds are opposed to. Transmeds are a group that is largely transmasc and discuss transness, yes, but I think we're just being grouped together because we are both "harmful transmasc groups". I don't think there's an actual ideological connection.

 3. Does this pipeline... exist? Like, we know the exclus to TERF pipeline exists, we've seen it in action or heard TERFs and ex-TERFs say it exists. But in terms of transmascs going from talking about transandrophobia to detransitioning to be TERFs, I have neither seen nor heard of that, and I question if this discussion has even been big enough for long enough for a substantial amount of detransitioned TERFs to have come from it?

now, having explained my issues with this "pipeline", I'm gonna say that this feels extremely fucked up. I've said before how the focus on transmascs who discuss our oppression as being TERFs-in-the-waiting feels like we are being seen as inherently AFAB. The idea that we will revert to our biological loyalty, that we can't be invested in ourselves and our experiences without that being reduce down to "AFAB separatism" and the like. I can't imagine being a TERF sympathizer after I've been suicide baited and harassed and swarmed by TERFs who call me a misogynist and a troon and that I should commit suicide for saying that trans men's voices on "women's" issues matter. Obviously this person disagrees with transandrophobia so it's not surprising that they've connected two groups that are widely-accepted as transphobic (transmeds and TERFs) to transandrophobia to make it seem inherently damaging and de-legitimize it's discussion.

[mogai-sunflowers]

okay ANOTHER THING I FUCKING HATE is when people make really weird and scary threats to random strangers. they’ll be like “if you do x harmless thing i’ll bite your head off” because it’s just fucking rude and also i believe them. i take everything very literally and everytime i see something like that (which is literally like. every other fucking post) i get sweaty and my heartrate spikes because i believe them. and yes, i’m aware that i’ve made some not okay threats to strangers before (never death threats, just saying i would bite/hurt exclus, which tbf they’re not harmless and they deserve to be confronted with their bs and i don’t owe them comfort but thats besides the point i am going to stop with the threats and stuff) but like. it’s not the same. it’s understandable why i, an mspec xenogender nonbinary lesboy who’s been relentlessly bullied and driven away from almost all my safe spaces for being myself, would get angry and say something bad out of anger. it’s not understandable why you would threaten to maul someone because you think they should rb your stuff and not just like it. some of the things i’ve said have crossed a line, yes, im not trying to be hypocritical but jfc people are so aggressive and rude for no reason other than thinking it’s “cool” but it just fucking scares me and i assume it’s also that way sometimes for schizospec ppl too like. it’s just pointless and annoying just stop. being a dick isn’t cool being an asshole for aesthetic purposes isn’t cool none of it is cool just be a nice person.

[rjalker]

Nope, this shit doesn't get to be hidden in the replies anymore.

faggy--butch on the side blog butch-saralance said

how is experiencing a different form of transphobia a kind of privilege? I think that's going too far.

Rjalker said

nonbinary people have to deal with transandromisia, transmisogyny, and exorsexism on top of those, like, very basically, being forced to choose between an M or an F on an ID card with no other options, having people tell us 24/7 that our genders don't exist and our pronouns are an existential threat to the sanctity of language, and, of course, binary people constantly forgetting we exist in the first place, when they're not purposefully erasing our existance and the problems we face. This post is not saying that you're privileged if you suffer from transmisogyny or transandromisia. It's saying it's a privilege to not ALSO have to suffer from exorsexism on top of that. Binary trans men and women might be told they're not their gender, but they aren't told every single time that that gender Literally Does Not Exist the way nonbinary people do. I could go on for hours. You can look up nonbinary people talking about binary privilege to learn more. This is the tip of the iceberg.

faggy--butch said as butch-saralance

you don't have to explain non binary oppression to me, a bigender non binary person. I don not agree that binary trans people experience privilege for experiencing a different kind of transphobia, the same way I don't agree with TMA/TME. This is going into exclusionist territory and I don't think we as a group, who are subject to a lot of exclu hate and violence, should dip our toes in that pool. This is going too far

rjalker said

I clearly do have to explain it to you since you think binary privilege doesn't exist. Read the post and the comments again. You refusing to aknowledge how exorsexism actually works does not mean people who actually talk about it are being exclusionists and you are literally just exorsexist for saying so.

" I don not agree that binary trans people experience privilege for experiencing a different kind of transphobia, the same way I don't agree with TMA/TME. " hey what fucking part of exorsexism is something nonbinary people have to deal with ON TOP OF transmisogyny and transandromisia did you refuse to read. What part of nonbinary people are literally told our genders don't exist are you refusing to read.

faggy--butch said as jellyfemmedyke, another sideblog:

@rjalker If think talking down to me, and acting like I don't know what I'm talking about is going to change my opinion on this thing, you are sorely mistaken. You need to step back from this and take a look at what you're actually saying, because it sounds exactly like oppression olympics, which again, I do not agree with and never will.

this is my alternate account btw

And here we see an exorsexist, being exorsexist. Saying it's oppression olympics and exclusionism to aknowledge the fact that exorsexism exists and is not something binary trans people have to deal with, while nonbinary people have to deal with exorsexism along with all of the other kinds of transmisia too.

Including the fact that we literally cannot get a fucking gender marker on official identification that does not misgender us because our society does not even recognize the existence of nonbinary genders at all.

Or how there's literally no fucking nonbinary bathroom for us to use.

And how our pronouns are constantly held up as inherently destructive of cultural identity and the sanctity of language.

Everything you call transandromisia and transmisogyny is what nonbinary people suffer too, even when we don't identify as men or masculine or women or feminine. And on top of that we have to deal with exorsexism. Like binary trans people refusing to even acknowledge that exorexism or nonbinary people exist in the first place.

And the exorsexist shithead blocked me lofl. Free blocklist everyone. Save yourself the aggravation of dealing with yet another exorsexist.

And free blocklist on her new post about how "we're not going to talk about binary privilege"

"nonbinary people don't subvert more norms than binary transgender people and we all experience the same oppression."

this is exorsexism.

i mean...having a binary gender is a norm. nonbinary people subvert that norm. binary transgender people do not. by that definition, we subvert more gender norms already because we don't only subvert cisnormativity, but also exornormativity (the idea that having a binary gender is the norm). plus, binary genders are recognised in every single society, whereas nonbinary genders are looked down upon even by other transgender people. the whole point of binary privilege is fitting more norms than nonbinary people.

and that we all experience the same oppression isn't true either, since binary transgender people do not experience exorsexism (again, binary privilege). just because you all just say transantagonism when something is specifically targeted at nonbinary people doesn't make exorsexism not real. you all just don't want to acknowledge it, as that would also mean acknowledging it within your own communities and within yourselves.

[strangestcase]

It’s so fucking funny when arophobes are like WELL BY YOUR DEFINITION GUESS I AM IN A QUEEPLATONIC POLYCULE NOW LMAO like Kevin you jape and joke but. you could be right y’know. Like whenever you say “I do [generic platonic intimacy] with my friends but I don’t call it a QueerPlatonic Partnership, its just friendship to me” you are admitting the only reason u aren’t in a QPP is because, while ur relationship COULD be described as one, you don’t call it that. That’s cool, only you get to define what your relationships r and how do u call them! That’s great! but listen. You’re saying your relationships fit The Mold of a QPP but that u just label it as a friendship thus making it Not A QPP -which is valid, u do u!- buuuuut then throw a hissy fit when someone, aro or not, decides to do it the other way around. Funny how that works.

Just say you hate the “weird”, “freaky”, “not normal” gays and go, u fucking traitor, And go do some self-reflection at that, hm? For starters ask yourself why do TERFs say the same shit about QPPs? Or why the hell do you assume polyamory is always NSFW? Or why do you have the need to define other people’s relationships/identities of them as if they were fuckin dumb? Or why do you call to the medicalization (“that’s just friends y’all need therapy lolololol”) of people who just fucking DARED do something cishets don’t like? Or why do you think amatonormativity, one of the biggest weapons of heteronormativity and the PatriarchyTM, doesn’t exist simply because the icky freaky aros and yucky cringe aces care about it? Or ur involvement with cringe culture which isn’t ableist at all! (last sentence is sarcastic btw)

“It’s just a friendship! I call that friendship” well they certainly don’t call it a friendship, the same way you don’t call your so-called Extremely Close Deeply Intimate Platonic Share-a-house friendships QPPs (which would be their “real“ name but as I’ve said before, you name your relationships how u want— not how others tell you, which is something exclus LOVE to do! so progressive /s). Like it’s not that hard, just stop getting pressed about how people live and define their platonic experiences , simple as that lmao... and that’s not even taking into account the HUGE amatonormativity we ALL, aro or not, face.

But sure KEVIN go on about how having a relationship that most cishets would undoubtedly bash and think of as some freaky “loveless” perversion of a married couple is actually A Very Normal, Not Opressed at All Normal Not Hated By Cishets Friendship. MAybe learn not to agree with TERFs and to apply some self-awareness and self-reflection to urself cause if u go around every post about QPPs saying “IF THIS EXISTED I WOULD BE IN ONE”, maybe you are so close yet so far to realizing QPPs are actually, while not normalized nor visible in cishet society, very common, particularly within the LGBT community, and even ur alloro ass could b in one without noticing...

i bet at least some exclusionists are probably part of the marginalized identities they love to shit on without knowing but they will take much much longer to notice than to make a miserable google search and educate themselves on what a queerplatonic partnership is and entails. Remember all those posts about mentally ill children never getting diagnosed because their parents r mentally ill too and having only known that reality they really think “everyone is Like That, everyone Does That“? Yeah this entire situation has a vague resemblance to that. “That’s Just friends! how is that Gay? Everyone does that!” Kevin, you are basically married to your best friend....... MOST CISHETS DONT DO THAT IN FACT ITS A SOCIETAL EXPECTATION TO HANG OUT MORE WITH YOUR SPOUSE THAN UR FRIENDS YOU PIECE OF OVERCOOKED MACARONI... FFS the day you douchefucks learn that amatonormativity is an important feminist term describing the insidious way heterosexual relationships are pushed onto people by putting romantic love above literally everything else will b the day I die. /hyperbole

Meanwhile keep it up with the racism and ableism Kevin, Good Job at redirecting homophobia towards the members of the community were suposed to be in for SAFETY and not popularity points. /s I’m sure ur cishet friends will laugh at first before they get tired of picking on the Freaky Gross Fake White Girl Queers (cause that’s what u assume every single aspec person is anyway lol, I guess all of the black aces I’ve met are bots then /j). Then it will be you because the bar for meeting cisallohet expectations gets higher and higher the more u commodify, assimilate, and sell off this community that, I HAVE TO REMIND U, ISNT A “YOU HAVE TO THIS GAY TO ENTER” COOL KID CLUB, it’s made for SURVIVAL, it’s a fucking radical CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT!

when u put your siblings down, we become vulnerable to the patriarchy

to destroy homophobia as it is, we have to defy the societal expectations of what a “normal” relationship is, because to most people, “normal” = “the only option”, and that option is marrying a person of the opposite sex and keeping romantic and sexual intimacy with them and centering ur life around THAT and NOTHING ELSE. A straight marriage in which u owe sex to ONE person as long as u are together. To even the most vanilla cis gay person, that’d be denying them of their own sexuality and agency. Hell a lot of cishets would find that boring, restraining, and unpleasant! They too have the right to explore their sexuality and have whatever relationships they want (as long as no one gets hurt, granted).

if we want to fight against that, we have to understand that ”weird” relationships are an option, Too, just as Good as the “default”! And QPPs are a BIG part of that!

so for your OWN SAKE, maybe learn what words mean and apply them accordingly before you go onto tumblr to bully other gay people for existing, OKAY?

TLDR: QPPs aren’t just friendships, the limits between different types of relationships are defined by the people who are in them and not others, QPPs are more common than it seems (some people could be in a QPP without noticing) but certainly aren’t normalized or accepted in cishet society, and exclusionists are ignorant (and racist and ableist) pieces of shit that are basically cutting off their noses to spite their face. Pushing other people out of the community to look better to cisallohets has very real drawbacks to everyone.

[queenofthecommunistcannibals]

Fuck it.

Just fuck it all.

I was working on a response to the latest person telling me aphobia is homophobia and misogony and exclus love aspecs and the abusers are a small group and I am just over reacting and I started looking for my links on my blog and looking through just pages and pages and pages of hate and bile and you know what?

Fuck it.

Fuck it.

I am so tired of having my experiences erased or undermined. I am so tired of having to defend myself against people who tell me "the LGBT movement has always been about SGA and trans issues" (which is a lie). I am so tired of being told I don't matter. I don't deserve pride. I am sick. I am barely human. I get this constantly from the cishet world and the LGBTQ+ community that is supposed to be caring and accepting thinks that a fucking lesbian flag is more important than a living breathing asexual. I am so tired of being told I don't matter as much as the L, G, B, and sometimes Ts.

I am so tired of having to provide evidence that I matter and that I deserve to have my suffering eased and be proud of what I am.

Aces aren't oppressed. Except queerplatonic partners are not recognized. Except corrective rape happens. Except we are outcasts and pariahs from adult life. Except for a million other things.

Like. Fuck. Everything.

Hopefully tomorrow I will have the spoons to set the record straight but right now? Right now I am just tired. I am so, so tired of being hated and undermined for something I can't help.

Cishets hate us us. And exclusionists are working SUPER HARD to make sure we know they hate us too.

I will be back. And I will be angrier then I am now. But I just don't have the energy tonight.

Fuck it.

🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

[acethena-discourse]

@grungedyke Tumblr own’t let me reblogged, and i’m not sure if its being dumb or you blocked

Thanks for showing up dumbass. Your presence and your type of thinking in that server is like a tumor, do you realize that? You’re a spineless liar if you think a member saying they were leaving is “strongarming” someone, and those mods are truly either desperate or foolish to keep you in there. No wonder people are uncomfortable with the environment in there – you and other active users have a habit of distorting any disagreement into violent persecution while pretending everything on your side is completely “valid” and brave.

I’m allowed to stay because i don’t break rules. Even now, this isn’t breaking rules. I rarely interact with minors in the server unless they directly talk to me first. But please go off about how I’m terrible for thinking that demanding a mod force someone to stop unhealthy coping, and cropping that out is bad.

My claim that rules are more heavily enforced is directly addressing the fact that i have gotten in trouble for things i legit forget. Ie. THe server does not allow the word b*tch. So often i’ll type “bitching about’ and get a warning from dyno. Thats p fucking strict. I’ve also phrased things v poorly, and been told to either delete the message or clarification, I often opt to EDIT THE INFORMATION because I know exclus will screenshot the bad one, and not the new one. But okay.

Recently a rule has been implimented for triggers, telling us that server anouncemnts will be modifed with new triggers/squick as they appear. Now if you have issues with these instances of rules, please go take that up with the mods.

Now, as for your screenshot, yes, I did tell them to archive it, and how I’ve both handled people baying for blood over the art of 2 ocs in a server in the past. I locked the channel, put an NSFW ban in place, and then *archived them* something I’m surprised you are more grateful for. Considering not only would archiving the channel would keep the good advice (ie yes use lube, do not use soap like in fanfic etc.) along with the bad that yall screenshotted before.

You may pretend to be nice, but that typical tendersoft nerd innocent-white-person shit does not stop you from being predatory.

There is no pretending. I genuinely believe it or not, believe in being nice to just about everyone I come across. That includes you, or a stranger on the bus or even someone walking by my house in a fucking ski mask. Being polite, and kind is just something I believe in. Until you give me beyond a reasonable doubt, I don’t even owe you basic compassion, then you’re gonna get it. Yes, that includes for big mistakes like not having age roles when you were finding your feet in discord moderation. That includes, people like you, who are trying to accuse me of “preserving gross content” when the reality is archiving a chat is a neutral suggestion because it favors no one. But i see, clearly i should go around kicking random babies and yelling don’t touch me. Because clearly if i’m not openly 100% mean to everyone, i must have some ulterior motive for my kindness right?

Can you name a single change to the rules aside from this recent “keep all the messages and let the adults keep reading them” shite?

See the above. In the past when users got banned all their messages would be deleted. They started keeping this for context. Then there's last year where someone decided to doxx a bunch of discords and said “Btw I did this bc uwuw you don’t edit screenshots” it took two weeks to give or take for mods to come to a verdict on what to do. So they made the rule that screenshots may not have their og username in them. Based on this, alone, i suspect the nsfw channels and sex ed might not be reopened for a similar period of time until the mods make new rules and clarify old ones.

It’s irrelevant and maybe even suspicious for you to bring up the wrongdoings of people who are completely unrelated to this situation. You’re already deflecting onto other people, offering no evidence of the “context,” and bitching on behalf of the mods. If you were in any way committed to safety or improving the situation, you wouldn’t be bringing up random people and downplaying things you obviously witnessed.

“offering no evidence of the context” for someone in the server you would know a handful of things about me 1) mobile tumblr is hell and i attach information from pc once I can. 2) I was out of town for someone so eager to screenshot me funny how you were so eager to forget that information.

So heres screenshot 1

Funfact i did not, and still don’t know what agere is. Now i will say my stance on cgl is that its not for me. I don’t like it, i don’t want to hear about it. But as long as both participates are 18, i also don’t need to know about it. Now if a minor was in chat, said “i participate in cgl with my partner” i would full stop be like what the fuck. And would leave if the mods decided to condone it, but that isn’t what happened. But you can see the mods do point out that if an unhealthy relationship or it was discussed at all outside of nsfw- channels they would be warned, banned, or reported.

Then there is the obvious mention that age regression isn’t a consenting adult, yeah. Ya dang right it not motherfucker. But let's talk about the word AGERE in relation to this. I’ve never once heard that there is a special word for nonsexual coping mechanism. So like damn, I’ll just add that into my vocabulary.

But I didn’t know that word exists, me saying “non sexual cgl” or “coping cgl” is literally me acknowledging that I find that eh but ultimately okay between consenting adults who are not aged regressing vs sexual cgl.

screen shot 2

In this a user tries to suggest the mods have a moral obligation to inform someone its “unhealthy” when mods point out that no they do not, but nor do they allow users to go off telling everyone “Oh cgl is a great coping mechinism you should do it to.”

Which is important. Because again, I hate cgl, but I also am of the mind that, i can’t stop it. I outright can’t, so no i’m not gonna get involved in someones personal road to recovery and be like “you’re disgusting”. I can however tell them to keep it away from me, and not to discuss it in channels minors can see. (a policy that has been in place for a while now.)

screenshot 3

More of the mods not condoning it, and stating p clearly that policies have changed since 2017/early 2018. I’ve been in the server since july 2018ish. And things have been nearly constantly evolving.

screenshot 4

Mods again emphasizing that you can find the policy changes since the messages have changed. Because that is important. They confined this to other channels. Why they didn’t delete the information in sexed, i can’t actually say one way or another. They might have kept it because they believe in mistakes of that caliber being left alone. But you also have no evidence for why they kept the og messages.

But the reason, i consider what herpcourse did lying by omission, is herpcourse led you to believe the above screenshots were out in the open. The ones i just posted happened in some random channel. They did not, they happened in an age locked channel. That only adults are in. And mods are under no obligation to 1) be your personal therapist, 2) nor are they obligated to go “uwu reminder cgl in all situations no matter what is disgusting you dirties” because doing so is preformative. One of the mods is squicked by it just like me. But please go off about how admitting past mistakes happened, refusing to performatively disown something, and refusing to tell anyone who mentions it in the age locked channels is actually gross and unhealthy when you know nothing about them is bad.

I did not, in fact, witness anything in sexed, because I don’t go there. I only witnessed the stuff that followed herpcourse callout, which means the above messages. I have sexed muted.

I also didn’t bring up random people I brought up a known predator who is on youtube, actually sends salacious photos to minors, and is p safe to say fucking gross, my point was there are actual sharks in the water, please stop focusing on the tuna. Because you can surprise, call out both behaviors. But i’ve yet to see an exclus call out someone like pkrussel, instead choosing to focus on people who might have a seemingly large following in one community. Me pointing out sharks in the beach and asking you to stop focusing on tuna, is not telling you to ignore the tuna.

I’m only as committed to this situation as anyone can be, which isn’t v much considering I’ve yet to witness someone grooming a minor in gen chat. Or witnessed them grooming minors at all. The only skin i have in this game is the following: Minors still being allowed access to decent sex-ed resources and being allowed to ask questions. And 2) my own personal discomfort with all cgl. My hope is that rules do become more clear, maybe only discussion of sex ed by users to be direct questions only. Meaning a minor can come in ask a direct question and receive a direct answer. Which while not ideal sex ed, is sitll better than what i got, what you probably got, and what they’re likely getting (if getting any at all)

The mods are not level-headed and not passive when they actually care and think they have control. They’re cowardly, that’s the difference. They literally got more mad over someone making fun of one of their icons and a minor saying genuine trauma with the q slur is possible.

I don’t expect them to be 100% level headed. I’d honestly be kinda upset if they didn’t display emotions when shit like this happens. But please give me a source on the icon thing (which btw, no you shouldn’t make fun of people, period) and for the minor saying ‘queer can have trauma’ bc I do think it can. But if you join fya, you can’t request it be tagged as qlur. Because there is a lot o discussion not only of queer as a personal identity but also queer as a history. Which means groups like queer nation, or shows today like queer eye. And just like I hope if I’m discussing the motorcycle gang made up of lesbians called dykes on bikes and their history, you’d not want me to censor, or remove their history and accomplishments by calling them “d-slur on bikes uwu” you don’t expect me to censor the discussion above. But to my knowledge, the denial is not “queer isn’t used as a slur” its “queer as an identity deserves respect, and to insist its evil is to take the word our oppressors used and give it back to them.”

Also what’s with you specifically and always bringing up “afab” as a gotcha descriptor in arguments? What are you trying to say?

Bc lets be real, when you talk about ddlg, you’re talking about an afab person dressing up as a child and calling her partner daddy while he fucks her most times. Didn’t know to point out the difference between that and agere was in fact a “gotcha” based purely on the agab of the person. But okay.

You need to leave and delete your five blogs from anywhere you can speak to minors like yesterday.

Okay, what are the five blogs? Bc I’m only aware of...literally none that interact with minors in conscious effort.

I highly doubt there’s any reason for them to have changed, considering the execrable atmosphere in that server, so here’s a screenshot of one mod (toytulini) going Karen mode along with a bunch of other 20+ year olds while the minor they were targeting tried to defuse the situation as mentioned above.

What is the context? Bc i legit don't’ see any. I see them arguing, btu about what, I don’t know, if i  was involved myself, I do not remember. So again, not much of a smoking gun. It looks like they were trying to get someone to actually *understand* what was being said, but that wasn’t appearing to happen. But again, missing context such as what the argument was about, why that started, so on so forth. also if the person was told not to argue there, yeah, they should have moved it. as per server rules, there are channels to argue in, that wasn’t one. So no matter the context, if they were breaking rules, and did not move when requested, yes, they should be given a ban based on whatever the conversation topic was.

Now, i’ve provided evidence. I’m gonna go to bed, please feel free to dm me here if you need me to clarify anything or want to throw out accusations about how being kind must be predatory af since i’m barely an adult and adults lose compassion after becoming 18.