#op is writing from an americentric perspective and did its best to make that clear in the post

[just-antithings]

So why do some queer content creators disagree with xenogenders? Isn’t it another term for non-binary?

tw discussion of white supremacy

Short answer 1: they're exclus

Short answer 2: they're assimilationist queers who think if we can make ourselves palatable enough to The CisHets(tm), they'll be accepting. (I cannot stress enough that these people are wrong. The CisHets(tm) want zero queer people to exist, not just "the queer people they can stomach")

Long answer: a fuckton of western queer people hold bigoted internal beliefs because of being raised at the whims of white supremacy. They have not been made to challenge their internal biases and the moment these biases are challenged, in white cis queers especially, they react negatively to the Thing Making Them Uncomfortable to make the icky feeling its giving them go away.

Because that's like, the thing, right, with bigots and ableists and racists and queerphobes and antis and radfems and terfs and exclus: their solution to being made uncomfortable by something is to try and make that thing not exist, so they don't have to feel like that. After all, they can't be subjected to gross icky feelings if there's nothing around to prompt the icky feeling. It's why some bigots say they don't care "as long as they don't have to see".

Now, obviously, the healthy way of dealing with something prompting a bad feeling inside you is to. Work through that feeling. It's entirely unreasonable to demand something or someone not exist because the existence itself or just seeing that it exists makes you uncomfortable.

But that's how these people deal with it, because under white supremacy you are taught things are always someone else's problem. I'm not fucking joking - we are taught that. It's why people who have never had their worldview or authority challenged (cishet white men) deal so spectacularly badly with suddenly encountering those things. White supremacy thrives on everything being the fault of "some other guy" - the marginalized group of choice changes based on the situation and circumstances. (Which is, to be clear, super fucked up and not something I'm making light of.)

People hate on xenogenders because they're ignorant about what xenogenders are (gender related to concept of thing other than male/female ie catgender is experiencing ur gender in a cat-like way, your gender being Cat, etc & can get highly specific) and instead of trying to get educated center themselves, their own experiences with more traditional genders and gender roles, and their misguided fears that being "too queer" will make The Cishets(tm) not accept us. (They're not gonna accept us til we make them.)

Also while supremacy teaches us its okay to put aside our morals and ethics if there is an acceptable target (applies to more traditional bigotry too like racism yes. Good church going people who would never dream of saying something like that to a "normal" person because their "morals" forbid it but morals are a hat you can take off sometimes, see?). The modern internet is New Rome and everyone participates in the blood sport at the coliseum.

And no, they're not just the same thing as nonbinary.