#I feel so tired lol I rushed this in 2 days and just finished it now

[numbuh424]

Happy Birthday Yamato! 💚🎂✨ I love you 💖💚💐

[cosmos-coma]

My Sun, My Star- Part 2

A/N: Thank you all SO MUCH for your great comments on part one. I couldn't have asked for a better crowd to receive my work! Because so many people asked for it I've finally written a part 2! I honestly can't tell how good it is any more cause I've probably read it through 12 times in the last two days lol, so enjoy!

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words: 7476 (whoops)

Warnings: Pregnant reader, Otherwise GN reader (no pronouns), Occasional use of "Y/n", Injury, Bucky's kind of an ass when hes upset (but redeemable), arguing.

Summary: Bucky finds out that you met the Winter Soldier and he is Not happy.

Part 1 | Part 3 | Epilogue | Bucky Masterlist

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________

“Doll…?” you heard the familiar voice call, rough and gritty from its recent use but still carrying that same soft tone he used with you.

Your heart swelled as you lowered your hand from your face “Bucky...?”

He looked tired, so so tired. What was once sweet blue eyes were now diluted with exhaustion, no longer the brisk gaze you had learned to find comfort in. But still, a smile of relief eased onto your features at the mere sight of him and slowly the spark in his eyes began to return. 

“Bucky!” You rushed to the thick door separating you, your hands eagerly jiggling the locked knob as you tried to get in. All you wanted to do was hold him, to hold his face, his hands; you wanted to feel and squeeze all of him just to know that he was truly back.

“Sheesh, hold on!” Tony complained, “At least let us take the wiring off first, we can’t have you coming in and messing up- hey! HEY, stop smudging the glass!” Tony shouted as he worked quickly to detach the wires of various machines from his head.  

Bucky laughed a bit as he sat up carefully, rolling the pain out of his shoulders and arms when something didn’t feel right. He winced as he felt his soft shoulder complain against the movements and looking over he spotted the bandage taped tight to his skin- a small dot of blood peeking through the solid white; before he could ask about it Tony was already sending a technician to unlock the door. 

“Alright, alright, we’re opening the door, stop your jiggling…” the billionaire griped.

As soon as you saw your opening you ran straight for him, your leg be damned as you stumbled into his waiting arms, “Bucky, my heart...” you whispered with relief as you hugged him as close as you possibly could. It was times like these when you cursed your body’s rotund transformation as it refused to let you get that much closer to him. But none of it mattered as his strong arms wrapped around you in turn, flooding you with the familiar scent and warmth of his amber-like musk. 

“Hey, Doll…” The super soldier rasped softly in your ear, his voice still a little rough from the muffled shouts of pain just minutes before. His brow tightened and he held in a wince at the impact of your hug, refusing to let you see him falter as pain jolted his shoulder. 

“What are you still doing up?” he asked with a smile, the roughness finally easing away and slipping back into the smooth rumble of his natural voice. His eyes trailed down your face and body, stopping abruptly at the bandage wrapped around your calf. He frowned as his brows creased together uneasily, “What happened to your leg? Who-” he started to ask, but before he had a chance to finish Tony interrupted with his usual reminders. 

“Alright, I’m sure you remember-” He paused a moment, shrugging, “well, maybe- that although you may not remember anything now, it should all come back over time,” Tony said as he typed updates into Bucky’s file. “Given that this wasn’t a very long recession- just a few hours- you should remember everything in a couple of days,” he decided with a firm nod, looking over to the disheveled man. “Do you remember anything from last night?” 

Bucky shook his head, “I remember the basement and the flashing lights…I remember following Sam back out to the jet, but it starts getting fuzzy there,” he said as he ran his fingers through his hair. His mind was exhausted from switching back and forth and he really didn’t have the energy to delve into it much longer. “I think I remember coming back to the tower, but it’s not clear.”

“Hm, Interesting,” Tony remarked as he typed in a few more long lines into the already lengthy files. Bucky couldn’t quite make out the words on the pages and pages of information on himself and the Winter Soldier, but then again, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know anyway. 

“Well,” continued Tony, looking at you now, “seeing as I’ve heard that your front door is in a state of disrepair-” 

“-Kicked in,” you corrected swiftly, making Bucky’s concern rise. 

“Semantics, ” Tony disregarded with a wave of his hand, “-you two are welcome to stay in the tower until we get it fixed. Barnes’ old room is still open; I trust you two remember the way there?” 

----

You stepped into Bucky’s old room, a few personal items still scattered around here and there, but barely anything significant. Strong arms snaked around your waist, careful of your belly as they pulled you close against their firm frame.

Soft laughter bubbled from your chest as you gazed up at him, your head leaning back against his solid build, “Just like old times, huh?” You mumbled happily as you rubbed your hand up and down his forearms. 

“Mmm, back when I used to sneak you into the tower every other night?” his body rumbled with a gentle laugh, remembering the fond moments. The two of you lingered in the peaceful space for a moment, both of you happy to have finally put the stress of the past few hours behind you. Large hands smoothed down your rounded belly, inching the fabric of his sweatshirt up so he could feel his little girl properly.

You hummed softly, contentment easing into your every pore as you let out a big yawn. You were finally feeling the full weight of the day and you wanted nothing more than to collapse onto the small mattress. You pulled back, bringing his knuckles up for a  quick kiss as you stepped away, “I’m gonna get ready for bed. I’m beat…we both are,” you said with a gentle pat to your belly. 

Bucky nodded as he watched you leave his arms, your gait just slightly uneven as you tried to hide the extent of your limp, “Doll…” he called, causing you to glance back. 

“You never answered me earlier. What happened to your leg? And what did Stark mean by our door being broken in…?” he asked, watching closely as you stood with your back to him. Your shoulders tensed the slightest bit as he asked, your gaze turning away as you searched desperately for the right way to tell him. 

“I… It was an accident….” you said, trying to ease him into it as you started explaining from the beginning “I was at home in bed when-” You started, but he had already begun connecting the dots. The basement, the blood, the lapse in memory, only to finally find himself awake in Tony’s lab? It was all too familiar.

“You met him, didn’t you?” He asks quietly, “The Winter Soldier….”  The room went silent as you hesitated to answer, only the tremble of your beating heart to be heard in your ears, but it was all the reply he needed. 

He could feel the growing heat of anger simmer beneath his skin. He had failed you- he couldn’t frame it in any other way. He had tried so hard for so many years to keep you from meeting him, to keep you safe, and now- in your most vulnerable state- he had failed. Deep in his heart, he knew he was only angry with himself, but knowing it still didn’t seem to stop the way his words bubbled over and burned, “Why didn’t you tell me? Did he do this to you?” He pointed at your bandage, his anger was simmering into a rolling boil when it suddenly crashed into an icy panic.

“Shit, did he-” He gulped and continued with the faintest shuddering his breath, “Did he try to…? ” He couldn’t even finish the sentence, the thought too scary to speak into existence as his hand fell to your bump in worry. As an assassin his targets had always been adults in the past; would the Winter Soldier really target a child? Bucky couldn’t say for certain either way and that was enough for him to worry.

“What...? Bucky, no. He would never-“ 

“Do not tell me what he would and would not do, Y/n,” he seethed, using your name for the first time in what felt like forever. You had always been his doll….

“You think I don’t know the things he’ll do? You think I don’t see them again and again at night? No one is an exception to him, not even you-“

“But I-“ 

“And if you truly believe that-” his voice grew lower, his anger coming out in slicing breaths as he spoke, “-then maybe you’re not as smart as you let people believe you are….” 

You suck in a sharp breath as his last words hit you. You felt like a bucket of ice was thrown directly over your head and your brain reeled as it tried to make sense of it all. ‘Did he… did he really just say what I think he said?’  you questioned, but your brain just played those thorn-covered words on repeat, rubbing the truth into your open wounds. You tried not to take them to heart, you knew it had been a long day for the both of you, but how could you not? 

You took a shuddering breath as you looked down, tears welling in your eyes that you willed him not to see. You were too tired for this.

“Y/n..” he sighed as he watched you wordlessly gather his old clothes, long forgotten in the drawers from when he first moved in with you all that time ago. “Y/n, Where are you going? Come back here…” 

“I’m going to find another room.” You explained simply, forcing calmness into your tone, but you still couldn’t meet his eyes. 

“Doll, I’m sorry-”

“No.” You said firmly, causing him to raise his eyebrows a bit as slowly you turned to face him, “I'm far too tired for this tonight, James. it’s been a long night, we’re both in pain, and you obviously need some time to cool down, because the Bucky I know? He would never speak to me like this,” You struggled to hold in your venom as you harshed out those last words, “Goodnight, Bucky.”

You let the welled-up tears finally break free as the door clicked closed behind you. Sniffling back the onslaught you wiped away your tears to peek around the hall, eventually settling on the room just across from his. “FRIDAY? Open up the door to room 7 please…” you asked, relieved when she did exactly as you asked- you’d have to thank Tony for that later. 

“Shit,” Bucky sighed into the empty room, now far too quiet for his liking. He always did everything he could hold to keep his anger in check with you, and it had been easy for the most part. Loving you had always come easy to him, and so he rarely had anything to be upset about. But this? This was new for him…. everything the Winter Soldier did was a means to an end. He was a deceiver, it was programmed into him over the decades and he couldn’t bear to let you fall prey to his games too.

Sleep eluded you for a while as you tossed and turned. You weren’t used to sleeping without him by your side, especially when you knew he was just a step and a knock away. But eventually, through your exhaustion, sleep finally came and you dreamed about your star that very night.

You dreamed of his eyes. Those intense blues that had rattled you so unexpectedly just hours ago. You were sure Bucky was wrong. Those eyes didn’t hold malice when they looked at you. No, they held knowing, like he had finally figured out a piece of himself. As if he had finally seen an aspect of what he could- no, what he would be. 

You also dreamed of his smile. As awkward and unpracticed as it was you still loved it. It was nowhere near as bright as Bucky’s, but it held reverence for you all the same. 

You dreamed of the promises he made against your belly. While you couldn’t distinguish the words he had said, you knew exactly what they meant; protection, strength, and the promise to return…. 

When you finally awoke your heart rang with a pang of guilt. Your dream-state comfort had been that of an assassin, an engineered “weapon”- and your heart’s blood-stained other half…. You sighed as you rubbed the sleep from your face. Was it right to be finding comfort in his icy blues instead of Bucky’s warm ones? Your thoughts fought each other for barely a minute more before you were brought back to the “talk” you and Bucky had yesterday. ‘He wouldn’t even listen to me! And then he’s going to go and call me stupid?! AGH’ you huffed as you slammed your fists down on the bed, your hands bouncing in an unsatisfying manner. 

Rolling out of bed, you got changed into Bucky’s old clothes, smoothing down the oversized items as you poked your head out of the room. All was quiet in the hallway and only a couple of distant voices could be heard from the kitchen and living area. Holding your belly you hobbled out, your leg searing with each step as you kept your head on a swivel for a certain super soldier. You weren’t quite ready to talk to him yet, all your frustrations still pumping through your blood in a slow but consistent course, However, your heart still found itself craving his familiar presence. 

A fleeting disappointment hung over you when you realized he was nowhere to be found, instead discovering Natasha and Sam as they chatted over breakfast. 

“It was.. weird, Nat. I know my interactions with him in the past have been limited, but I’ve never seen him like that before” Sam said and you knew they were talking about last night.

“Hey, you two…” You interrupted, causing them to pause as they watched you enter, but neither seemed uneasy as you butted in. 

“Y/N…” Sam greeted with a small smile, pressing a few buttons on the coffee machine to get something started for you, “How’s it going? It looks like your leg is still bothering you…” 

“Yeah... it’s burning more than last night, ” you rubbed your hand gently over your bandages in an attempt to soothe it, but it only stung more in retaliation. “Ah..” you hissed as you immediately retreated, “Yeah, it’s just a little sensitive….”

“We have some topical anesthetic and fresh bandages in the first aid kit if you want. I can grab them if Sam Is okay finishing off the rest of the pancakes?” the redhead proposed, holding the spatula out to him in an offering. 

“Oh?? I, Sam Wilson, get to finish making Natasha’s famous pancakes? What an honor,” He laughed as he feigned his esteemed admiration, taking the spatula and flipping the few already sitting in the pan.

 Nat grinned brightly as she made her way down the hall, whispering as she went past, “Truthfully? It’s a box mix. I just add vanilla and nutmeg and they never know the difference.”

You chuckled as you watched her go off to fetch the kit, truly thankful for the break in tension you were already feeling. You hadn’t gotten to know Natasha very well yet, on the off chance you visited the tower she was usually busy with missions, training, or paperwork, yet she welcomed you all the same. Part of you wondered if it was the former assassin in her that let her find friendship in you. After all, if you could love Bucky despite the Winter soldier, then surely you could be her friend despite her past, right?

You took a seat at the island's raised stools, watching Sam as he tried not to let the pancakes overcook. “So, Where is Bucky this morning?” You asked him, trying to be casual as you crossed your arms over the counter, thanking him as he placed a cup of decaf in front of you. 

But Sam paused; you always knew where Bucky was, sometimes more than they did at this stage in your pregnancy. He even swore sometimes that you two were attached at the hip. The fact that you didn’t know means something must’ve happened last night after he got reset. 

“He joined Steve on his morning run,” he answered as he leaned against the island opposite you, rolling his eyes as he continued, “It’s always ‘on your left…!’ when I run with him. I hope he gives Steve a run for his money this time…” he shook his head and smiled a bit as he watched you, trying to check in, but you just laughed, your face cracking into a small smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. 

“Speaking of your elusive super soldier…” Nat started as she returned, getting straight to the point as both her curiosity and old spy ways got the best of her, ”I heard the infamous Winter Soldier made an appearance last night...” She eyed you as well as she set the first aid kit down.

You tried to keep your smile, but as the conflicting thoughts and feelings of just last night resurfaced it was no time before it slipped away. You frowned at your mug, watching the dark swirls that lingered amongst the cream you added, “He did… he showed up at the house last night unexpectedly.”

Natasha’s frown matched yours as she spoke, “That bad, huh?”

“No, not at all. I mean, besides the almost getting shot part-“ you motioned as you began unwrapping your leg, your gash now open for the world to see. Though It was still a blazing red, it didn’t seem infected and for that you were thankful. 

Her eyebrows shot up as she looked over your wound, it was a good-sized graze and a very near miss, “Y/N do we need to have a talk about toxic relationships?” 

“What? No, Nat-” You waved her off, trying to get back on track as you began carefully cleaning it, “he’s not the one who shot me.” 

You didn’t miss the way Nat’s eyes darted to Sam, surprise written on her face for just a moment before her collected expression came back. “He didn’t? That seems….”

“I told you…He was different last night,  he was on the defensive this time.” Sam chimed in, tying back to their earlier conversation that you had interrupted.

You nodded in agreement and continued, “It was the security team that shot me, some new kid. I didn’t recognize his number or his face,” You explained. You couldn’t even be angry at that poor dumb soul either, he more than got what was coming to him. All you could hope for was that he learned something when he was dangling so uselessly in the air. 

Sam thought for a moment, back to the bristling frustration he saw written all over Bucky as he left this morning, enough that he worried the Winter Soldier might have made a second appearance. His concerns dissipated when Steve managed to pat the man’s shoulder without receiving an immediate knife to the throat, but now it made him wonder, “Does Bucky know this?”

Your expression softened and you continued to frown as you took a small sip, “No… I tried to talk about it with him last night, but he didn’t want to hear anything after he learned who I met,” you huffed with annoyance, not even bothering to hide it from your two friends. 

Sam nodded and held his hand up, “Well, I can’t say much since we only came in on the end, but maybe Bucky would listen to the body cam footage?”

You paused, blinking a few times as you processed what he said, “Body cam footage?” You questioned, setting the roll of bandages down, “What do you mean?”

“The security team is always required to wear body cameras when they go out. They should be reviewing it now,” Natasha explained. 

You nearly jumped out of your chair, the pain in your leg the only thing holding you back. This could be it! If he wouldn’t believe your words, then maybe he’d believe his own eyes. Bucky deserved to know what kind of man his other side of him really was; he deserved to know that you loved him wholly, finding comfort in both sides of the coin. 

You were determined not to give up on your star, because while Bucky had his friends to back him up, your Soldat had no one. No one, but you. 

“Where can I get it?” You rushed to ask, looking back between the two, who in turn exchanged glances with one another. 

Natasha took over pancake duty as Sam slid a plate in front of you and said, “It should be available sometime tomorrow, I can let them know you want a copy. Since you were the one caught in the crossfire they shouldn’t have a problem giving you access.” 

You nodded quickly, excitement and relief easing into your shoulders as you took your plate, letting out a breath you didn’t you were holding. 

This was it. 

--------

Bucky’s feet hit the pavement in time with his steady heart, maneuvering past people like boxes in crowded alleyways. He was supposed to be on a run with Steve, but his mind had been wandering the whole time.  ‘The Bucky I know? He would never speak to me like this,’ you had told him, so calm and so even that he honestly wished you had just screamed at him. His legs went into autopilot as your words rattled around his head. You were right, never in his waking minutes would it have ever crossed his mind to say those things to you. He was just so tired, so scared, and to top it all off it seemed like you had completely forgotten his warnings on the Soviet assassin. Or worse- that you purposefully went against them.

“Buck? Bucky!” Steve’s voice finally reached his ears as a hand grabbed his shoulder. 

“What? What is it..?” The brunet shook himself from his thoughts as he slowed to a stop, looking back at his friend.

“Where are you going? The tower is this way,” Steve shot a thumb over his shoulder in the opposite direction, the tower in plain view above the surrounding shops. 

Bucky stopped, blinking as he tried to process his surroundings. Where was he going? There was nothing in this direction except-

The apartment. 

Bucky sighed as he quieted the subtle itch at the back of his mind, “Nothing, nothing. Just lost in my thoughts. I’m here now,” he assured, to which Steve nodded, but obviously did not believe. He was always too smart for his own good.

“Let’s head back to the tower, okay? It’ll be our final mile. We can even stop by the bakery on our way.” 

Bucky willed himself to keep his thoughts in line as they ran their last mile, the tension in his body slowly unwinding only as they came to a stop and stepped into the sweet-smelling bakery. His senses were hit with a deluge of warm bread and spices that seemed to quiet his nerves for the time being. 

“What can I get for you, sugar?” the older woman behind the counter asked. Her smile was tired as she nursed an old cup of coffee and Bucky assumed she had been there since its opening hours ago. 

“Oh, um…” Bucky hummed as he looked through their displays, his heart really wasn’t in it like he wished it was. He was about to step back without getting anything when he spotted a fresh tray of cinnamon rolls coming out of the back. Cinnamon rolls had always been one of your favorite treats and he had rescued many a bad day with a surprise from the bakery. Maybe he could turn this bad day around too.

“Three cinnamon rolls, and three of the blueberry lemon rolls too. Uh, and a black coffee…. Please.” He asked, pulling his wallet out. 

“Sounds like you’re having quite the party,” she commented with a little chuckle as she filled up a box with fragrant pastries. 

“Ah, almost…I’m trying to make it up to someone,” He admitted sheepishly.

“Hm…” She hummed, looking right through him with practiced eyes, “You want me to throw some heart-shaped sprinkles in there or is that too much?” 

A tiny smile lifted the corners of his mouth, “I think it’s gonna be just right.” 

Bucky rehearsed the whole walk back, running his apology through his head dozens and dozens of times until it felt perfect. You still didn’t seem to grasp the level of danger you were in or how lucky you were to get out with just a scratch, but he knew you wouldn’t be able to listen if you were still angry with him. Maybe this would smooth things over enough for him to explain- for him to tell you all the things he did, all the things his hands will forever be stained with. 

You knew the gist of it of course. Bucky had made it a point to let you know exactly what had happened to him over those years and exactly what his job as a living weapon was. The last thing he had wanted was for you to resent him for tricking you into loving him. But you deserved to know more, and these gooey pastries going to be his entry point.

Yes. He’d give you the treats, say his well-thought-out apology, and then he could finally explain. Hopefully, then you’d understand.

Well, that was the plan anyway.

As the doors opened up to their desired floor, Bucky could hear you before he even saw you. Your laugh rang like bells as you chatted away with Natasha and Sam, his heart bolstering with hope that your good mood would only make it better as he stepped forward. 

“Hey, Do-“ he started before his eyes landed on your leg. It was propped up on the stool beside you as you were obviously in the middle of caring for it. He hadn’t had a chance to see it yet, part of him not wanting to know just how bad it was, but now there was no ignoring it. It was bright red, yelling its ferocity and pain as you tried to air it out. The wound itself was still trying to heal over, its soft vulnerable flesh showing barely any sign of scabbing. Blood stained your old bandage and it all made his stomach twist without mercy. 

His mind couldn’t negotiate with him how bad it was anymore. Even though it was just a graze, he could see how painful and uncomfortable it was for you. He had failed you. What if it had just been an inch over? What if it had hit your bump? What if it had hit your heart? 

He didn’t even realize he had crushed the flimsy cup in his hands until Steve stepped back, saying something about getting paper towels. Scorching coffee steamed up from his metal hand where it continued to drip into the puddle below it.

You looked over in surprise as you heard the splash, seeing your Bucky standing there with an intensity so adamant that you almost mistook him for someone else. But his eyes aren’t staring at you, per se, but your leg. 

“Bucky, It’s okay, really-“ you tried, but he would not hear you; He wouldn’t hear anyone as he dropped his cup, the loud clattering in the quiet room almost more jarring than anything he could have said back. “Buck. Bucky, wait-!” but he was already walking away, forcing his gaze ahead as he passed by you like a ghost. 

You tried to reach out, to grab his sleeve, but he slipped right through your fingers. 

“Barnes, come on…” Natasha gently scolded, but he still refused to react. 

You blinked back your shock, willing the threat of tears to subside when you heard the loud thud of his door closing behind him. You let out a shuddering breath, your hands rubbing down your face and you wondered just how long this was going to last. 

After taking a few minutes to re-wrap your leg, hoping maybe he had cooled down once more you made your way down the hall. “Hm?” You mused wordlessly as you saw the small white box placed on the ground before your door. Being careful of your protruding bump, you squatted down- earning a small kick of protest- and lifted up the lid. 

‘Cinnamon rolls… my favorite. And he even got us a special flavor…. ‘

With utmost care, you closed the box again and turned to face his door. “Bucky? My heart…?” You tried as you knocked on his door, putting your ear against it as you listened in.

Silence.

You tried again, louder this time, “Bucky, are you in there...?” But were again met with nothing. Was he really ignoring you now? “Please, can we just talk?” 

Quiet.

Your skin couldn’t help but burn as you tried to hold in your frustration. ‘So now he doesn’t want to talk to me? What did I even do?!’ You thought as you dug your nails into your palms, using the sharp pain to ground you once more. 

With a deep breath, you turned, picked up the white box, and left him to his begotten silence.

---------

Bucky’s ears were deaf to your calls as the shower rained over him, washing off the coffee and grime of the whole morning. His breath broke through the steam as he sighed, dipping his head under the rush of scorching water as if it would wash away his worries too; It almost worked until a searing headache made itself known. 

The pain rippled in violent waves that came out of nowhere, consuming him suddenly and causing him to reach out blindly for the support of the slick wall. It was worse than getting kicked straight in the head, but he knew from experience that fighting it would only make it hurt more. 

Squeezing his eyes shut against the pain, he made the perfect dark theater as flashes and snippets of memories played behind his eyes. 

“Bucky…?” A vibrant grin spread across your lips, lighting up the room brighter than the phone on your bedside table. Someone was calling you, but he couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away and the more he watched, the more your face changed. 

Your eyes squinted as you looked deeper into him and for a moment he could swear you saw the heavy weight of loneliness that ached in his chest. He felt the coldness of his expression, emotionless and lifeless save for the way his brows knit together, eyes searching yours with confusion and… wanting? Your brows knit together, almost a reflection of himself he thought, as you seemed to consider who you looked at. 

He could feel the smooth cold weight of the knife in his hand as he took a step closer, his head shaking slowly. 

Then suddenly your gaze took on a horrified expression, your eyes darting to the phone to see who was calling. 

“Soldat…” You whispered. You tried to steel yourself, but he heard the way your nervous voice shook- he saw the way your pulse thrummed rapidly in your neck. As the phone went dark he took another step- quiet, so as not to send you running. 

Your phone buzzed again, lighting up the room once more as he stood above you now and you looked so scared, but his expression did not change. Did he feel anything as he saw your cowering form below him? Or was he just another husk of a weapon? Could he ever be anything more?

He glanced at the phone; his time with you had been interrupted again- your attention was drawn from him again. And he couldn’t have that. A low growl rumbled from his chest as you tried to reach for it, and immediately you recoiled again. He would take care of this. He would take care of you.

Wordlessly he declined the call and left you in darkness again. While his knife slipped away, his metal hand reached out. Something in him called desperately to feel your skin beneath cool unforgiving metal. He needed to see all the ways your soft scared body reacted under his touch.

He would take care of you. 

“Please… Just don’t hurt her..” you begged.  

Bucky sucked in desperate breaths as the memories of just yesterday finally faded. The headache lingered, but it was nothing compared to the incessant twisting of his heart in his chest.

What did he do to you…?

-----

You found solace in the quiet of your room after Bucky refused to answer the door, wrapping yourself in the comfort of your duvet rather than his arms. You sighed, looking about the empty room as you leaned your head against the armchair you sat in. “Hey there, baby…” you cooed quietly to your belly, your words immediately met with excited kicks. “Enjoying the rolls as much as I am?” you laughed a bit as you took another bite of your pastry. 

You were lost in the one-sided conversation between you and your belly when a knock came at your door. You furrowed your brow as you sat up a bit wondering who it could be, only to sigh and lean back again, “Nat, I’m not sure I’m really in the mood for-”

“It’s Bucky…”

You paused, your mind at war with whether you ignored him like he ignored you… when you received a swift kick to the ribs, your baby firmly letting you know you were acting stupid. “Ah, ow- Okay, okay. You win… nice kick….” You mumbled to the inevitable bruise forming inside you. 

“FRIDAY, Unlock the door to room 7, please?” you requested, to which she gladly complied. 

As the door let out a soft click you watched your boyfriend’s head slowly peek inside, a faint smile growing on his features as his eyes finally settled on you. “Doll…” he breathed as if the simple action blessed him with life.

You couldn’t help the smile that tugged at your features before you quickly pulled it all back in. You were still frustrated with him and you weren’t going to let him off so easily. You had to be strong and stick up for the Winter Soldier, after all, it was the least you could do. 

“Do you like them…? I know they’re your favorite,” he smiled as he motioned to the box of pastries, taking a few steps closer until he stood an arm's reach away. You wanted nothing more than to feel the warmth of him against you and the tight safety of his arms, but that would have to wait.

“I do… Thank you,” you smiled faintly down at the box as you pulled the blanket tighter around you. 

He nodded, the ends of his lips remaining curled in a small smile, “I’m… I’m sorry about last night. I didn’t mean to say those things, or imply that I don’t think you’re the smartest one in the room because you are.” His eyes cast down in shame before moving back up to you. He looked worn, as if he had been beating himself up for hours and you wanted nothing more than to take it all away. 

“I was tired, and in pain, and scared...” He tried to hide the slight tremble in his voice as he remembered the way his thoughts raced when he first learned you had met the Soldier. He frowned as he fought off the memory that had resurfaced just a short while ago as he continued, “I don’t mean to make excuses, and it won’t happen again, I just-,” he frowned, his jaw setting as he steeled himself and took a breath, “I can’t imagine the ways he must’ve hurt you, or the ways he intended to. It makes me sick to think that I wasn’t there to do anything, and even sicker to know I was the one doing them….”

But it was your turn to frown now, “Bucky, My heart. I keep trying to tell you he didn’t hurt me, He would never….” You assured, but this argument was beginning to look all too familiar.

“Doll, you can’t tell me that you really believe that…? You know the things he’s done, the indiscriminate blood on his hands-” he sighed as he also felt the argument beginning to go around in circles. 

Just as you were about to open your mouth FRIDAY interrupted, “Guest Y/N, Sergeant Barnes, Miss Romanoff has requested your presence in the living area. She asks that you do not delay.” 

You sighed as you looked at Bucky, who seemed to be just as confused as you were. Nevertheless, you peeled yourself from your blanket cocoon, steadying yourself on the chair’s arm briefly before heading toward the door. You could feel him following behind you, trying to stay a few steps back both in punishment to himself, and the urge to give you space.

You glanced back at him, offering your hand as you slowly made your way down the hall. Bucky took it immediately, holding your hand like it was a lifeline and you gently tugged him closer, urging him to fall in step beside you as you leaned on him for support; he has never been happier to be your crutch.

As the two of you walked into the living space you saw Natasha standing firm in front of the TV with the remote in her hands. Sam and Steve looked back from their place on the couch, waving a bit at each of you as you joined the group.

Before either of you could ask any questions Natasha got straight to the point, “Alright, I’m done feeling the tension between you two in the tower… you two have been arguing about something that- all in all, you two should just be happy went as good as it did..” she motioned for you two to take a seat before continuing, “But because you two are still at odds with each other I’ve asked to get the body cam footage expedited. We have the best of what they’ve gone through already and Barnes? I really think you should watch it…” she said with a pointed look and clear knowing. 

He cast an uneasy glance at Sam and Steve, but when he received a simple nod in return he nodded too, tugging you gently onto the seat beside him. With a sigh, he nodded at Nat to start the video. He wasn’t sure he was ready to see it, but he was on a mission and he fucked up, he deserved to know just how spectacularly he did it. 

You also motioned to Natasha, and she started the video. However, you could barely keep your eyes on the screen, instead, your eyes were glued to your beloved soldier’s face, waiting with bated breath for his reaction. 

Bucky tensed as the video started with the security team breaking through your door, leaving it broken and barely on its hinges as they rushed their way through the house. He took in a sharp breath as the video continued and he saw himself standing over you, the bunching of the sweatshirt making it evident that your baby- his baby- was fully exposed. But it wasn’t until he turned that Bucky’s body started to unwind, his expression still a mask of confusion as he saw you grab the assassin’s hand, his grip giving a comforting squeeze. 

“He…” 

Bucky’s heart twinged with conflicted feelings as you called out to the team, begging them not to shoot, while still pleading with him to stand down. He could see the look in the Soldier’s eyes, but it wasn’t one he recognized… It was tangled; a war between gentleness, vulnerability, and the unrelenting fight he had had beaten into him years and years ago. The Soldier stood unyielding, shielding the most vulnerable parts of you with his body as he brandished the small knife.

“He was… protecting you…?” Bucky whispered as he looked away, turning his eyes to your teary ones. Despite trying to blink them away, a few still found their escape down your cheeks.

“It’s all he wanted…” You nodded, trying to fight back the renewing well in your eyes, but you knew how it all ended, and though you knew he was still alive you couldn’t help but feel the loss of him still. “ He just wanted a place to call home, a place to be safe…” 

Bucky’s hand gripped yours, giving its own reassuring squeeze as he turned back to the screen. ‘My Sun…’ he called you, pure reverence and love in his voice that Bucky had never expected to hear from him. ‘My Star…’ you had called him back, desperate and pleading eyes as he turned back to you. 

The security team shouted at him to comply again, and the body cam shifted, showing a young kid whose gun trembled as if he was in the middle of a terrible earthquake. The woman wearing the camera recognized his anxiety and tried to talk him down, but he couldn’t listen and his gun went off with a bang. Bucky could see the kid’s surprise as he accidentally pulled the trigger, and the fear as you clutched desperately to your wounded leg. 

He winced as he saw the assassin’s cold expression return and again as a shot lodged square into his shoulder. He knew what was coming before he even lifted the kid in the air, your begging and crying out for his life ringing loudly in the background. No wonder you had been so adamant about defending him, he had done just the same for you. 

When the kid was dropped, yet still breathing and the Soldier returned to you Nat finally cut off the video, sighing a bit at the overbearing air of the room. 

Everything was quiet for a moment as Bucky took in the weight of the video until Sam and Steve broke the silence. 

“We were able to convince him to come back to the tower to be reset after that…”

“He was the one who patched up Y/n’s leg, and vice versa…”

You nodded in agreement, wiping your dry cheeks as you felt tears beginning to return, “He knew he had to go… and he was happy to do so. I think…” You took a breath as Bucky reached over to wipe the falling tears, “I think he was just happy to know he finally had more, more than one purpose.” 

Quietly Natasha waved everyone else from the room, giving you two much-needed space. 

“That’s why I’m so sure, Bucky... He would never hurt us,” you rested your hand on your belly, “He took bullets for us, just like I know you would- and I have no doubt that he’d do it again. And god, Buck- he loves her so much,” you choked out a sob as you spoke, “He promised her the absolute world and he can’t wait to meet her…” 

“Doll…” 

“And I can’t wait either,” you said firmly despite your current teary disposition, “I’m glad I finally met him, Bucky. Because despite the separation you and the team refer to him with he is still a part of you.” You looked into the softening eyes of your beloved as you continued “And I know he’s not a part you’re proud of but that won’t make him disappear. I know the things he’s done, and I know that you blame yourself for them, but his actions are not yours….” You said.

“I can’t condone the things he’s done, but I know what he’s doing now, and I know that no matter what you think of him I love every part of you, James Barnes. Even the parts you don’t want me to see.”

Bucky’s eyes blinked as they looked down trying to contain the swell of emotions creeping dangerously close to the edge. Slowly he lifted your hand to his lips, kissing your palm like it was worship, “I love you so much, Y/n… I’m sorry I didn't listen before. And though it still makes me hesitate, I’m glad you finally know who he is. He- We are beyond lucky to have you, and even luckier that you somehow manage to love the both of us. I was worried you’d hate me for him...” 

“Oh, my heart… I could never stop loving you in any way that would last.”

_____________

Bucky Taglist:

@writingmysanity @simpxinnie @mirtaqueen @blackhawkfanatic @mcira @aagn360 @nialiuwanderlust @waywardhunter95

thanks to everyone who wanted to be tagged this chapter! If you want to be added to the general Bucky taglist please just let me now!

[hwaslayer]

favorite things | pmylm drabble (jyh)

⇢ favorite things - drabble one // ft. the pmylm couple

summary: yunho's been having a rough time adjusting to the 'real world' and gets upset when he can't have the person he needs the most right away.

words: 2.8k

warnings: cussing/mature language, jealousy/insecurities, yuyu is upset and doesn't really know how to control his feelings rn cause he is just a tired boy 😭, a small lil fight, the awkward silent treatment, yuyu and yeo talk thru his feelings for a bit, kissing/making out, sorry if i missed anything i quickly whipped the rest of this in bed lol

a/n: whipped this baby up because i just felt the need to and i missed my babies!! (+ this lil IG inspo hehe) more drabbles to come 🫶🏼 love you in slow motion update this weekend annnnd i’m gonna have to push back the fallen angel hwa fic cause im all over the place 🥹 but we’ll do better!! lol stay tuned!!

Yunho has entered the real world and he is exhausted. When his mom used to joke about living and working in this so-called real world, he used to think it was just a thing to keep him on his toes, shake him up a little bit.

Nope, that shit was all real.

And he hates it.

He hates it because it's the one thing that brings another fight to the table for your relationship. Ultimately, Yunho knows all he has to do is adjust and he'll be fine in the long run. Both of you will be fine in the long run.

But today, that feels like a stretch and he is short of patience. Unusually short of patience than usual. He knows you don't mean any harm but for some odd reason, today he feels like the world is going to swallow him alive and everything is triggering.

The first thing is the fact that he has to stay a bit later than usual to finish up a project he had been working on. He was hoping to rush home and spend some time with you before you were off to practice for the evening, spending 2-3 hours with your friends and the group.

That didn't happen.

So, when he gets home and you've already texted him saying you've left with a sad, crying face, he's bummed. He gets himself comfortable anyway, heating up a cup of ramen since he's not too hungry. Maybe he'll get some food with you when you're out— it's one of his favorite things to do.

Now, the second thing that makes him a little more irked is the fact that 2-3 hours go by and you haven't texted. He knows practice can run long, but it's also a little unusual for you to not keep him updated. You finally do a bit past 8pm with a quick:

you: hi baby, sorry! practice was a bit busy, i was caught up during breaks. i'll be home soon then i'll come over after i shower, okay? wait for me (: we should go on a food run! hehe

yunho: sounds good, love. i'll be here.

It closes to 9pm and Yunho isn't hungry anymore. The cup of ramen will do since there seems to be a dim chance of getting food with you, especially when you tell him you'll be over in a quick second but you’re still nowhere to be found. Yunho charges to the door anyway and is hoping to greet you when he swings the door open. Instead, he's greeted with you laughing and giggling with Hyunjin downstairs in the lot as he hands you a bag of to-go food.

Let's set the record straight— Yunho loves your friends. He knows he can trust them, and he knows they're all genuinely good people. He's always been happy you had a good group of people around you.

It's just today, he really, really missed you. After a long ass day. And he knows you [and Hyunjin] mean no harm in your actions, but he can't help but feel a tad bit insecure [and slightly jealous] that you aren't rushing over to see him after not being with him all day. He knows he can blame this on the fact that he's exhausted and a little short on patience. God knows he really did try to keep it cool and brush it off.

He couldn't help it.

Yunho shuts the door again, leaving it unlocked for whenever you feel ready to come upstairs and hang out with him. He sits on his computer chair, irritated, and throws on a game to distract himself momentarily. Maybe it'll help ease whatever he's feeling,

But, nope.

It doesn't.

Because when you walk in, you're still yelling out to Hyunjin and whoever before you shut the door, place the food on the counter and walk into his room. You throw your arms around him from behind and Yunho lets out a small, audible sigh. That was already alarming enough for you, but you still dip your head to the side and try to grab his attention.

"Hi." You place a quick, chaste quick to his cheek, but Yunho doesn't move.

"Hey."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Is all he says plainly. "I was just waiting for you."

"I know, but Hyunjin stopped by to give us food—"

"I thought we were gonna grab food together?"

"Oh." You frown because it completely slipped your mind, or else, you would've left the food at your own apartment to save it for tomorrow instead. "Fuck, I'm sorry. I didn't think he was gonna swing by with food. We all left each other earlier without any plans of—"

"It's okay." He taps your arms as a signal for you to let go of him. "You should go eat."

"We can share, there's more than enough—"

"All good." It's petty of Yunho, he knows. For him, it's the fact that you told him you wanted to go on a food run after practice. Another small, but meaningful thing you two did often. He doesn't blame Hyunjin for anything at all, no. There was no way of preventing that, and who the fuck was he to make you reject food from a friend?

He just wished he could take you to get food. Watch you order your favorites and do your happy dance in his passenger's seat. It's another one of his favorite things.

"Yunho." You slowly step aside and sit on his bed, your appetite all of a sudden gone from how distant your boyfriend is being. "I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset."

"It's fine."

"Is it really? Because something feels off and I wanna know what I did so I can fix it."

"It's nothing, Y/N." You almost flinch at the way he calls you your name instead of his cute endearing nicknames. It throws you off guard so much that you resort to a flimsy, broken:

"Okay." It's barely above a whisper. You stand to head back out to the kitchen, quietly eating a bit of Hyunjin's extra to-go thai food before setting some aside in a tupperware for Yunho and placing it in the fridge. The rest of the night goes.. like that.

In silence. With weird tension.

You hate it.

You wish you could just fix whatever you did wrong, or that Yunho would tell you no matter how 'silly' it may sound. He's always been so good with communicating, even during small disagreements, you weren't sure why he was avoiding it this time around.

You quietly get ready for bed, brushing your teeth and flossing before changing out of your sweats and hoodie to Yunho's shirt. You pad into the room, slipping yourself deep under the sheets and pull up some vlogs on Youtube that you need to catch up on.

"Tired?" Yunho asks from his computer chair, still playing his game.

"Mhm." You look at him, hoping he'd come over to kiss you, cuddle you. Shut off the computer and lay next to you, show you any kind of affection. He doesn't budge, though. You feel your bottom lip trembling, your heart slowly cracking in various places. You have to take a breath to prevent yourself from crying, and Yunho can feel it. He can feel your gaze on him, he can tell you're seconds away from crying. So, Yunho stands and shuts off his computer. But, he starts to head out to the living room and you're on the verge of breaking down. His way of avoiding the issue and getting more upset was to shut down. Deflect.

This wasn't like Yunho at all so you knew something was wrong; something was that bothersome to him.

"Baby." You call for him softly, and he just looks at you. You can tell he's conflicted between keeping this up and dropping it entirely, but it doesn't seem to be enough. It's not enough for him to drop it because his expression doesn't change. He still seems cold, distant. Tired. Unlike the Yunho you're so, so used to seeing and having.

"I'm just tired. Go to sleep."

"Where are you going?"

"The living room."

"Let me come with you."

"Y/N. Please go to sleep. I told you nothing was wrong." You watch the way his jaw slightly ticks before brushing you off completely and leaving the room, shutting the door behind him. A loud sigh escapes his lips as he treads to the couch and plops onto it, leaning his head back onto the edge. He shuts his eyes, giving himself some time to sort through his feelings because what the fuck, Jeong Yunho?

He knows this is much needed, though. He needed to step away for a second to regroup. He doesn't want to unintentionally hurt you by saying or doing things that he doesn't mean. He's tired, and he's acting like a fucking baby because he just wanted you at so many points today— yet, the universe just didn't let him have you. That wasn't your fault.

None of this was your fault.

He needed to do better. Just because he was exhausted, didn't mean he had to act this way towards you.

"Yo." Yeosang walks through the door, dropping his duffle bag to the floor as he steps out of his shoes. "You good?" He furrows his brows at the sight of Yunho just resting his head back with his eyes shut close.

"Mhm."

"Where's Y/N?"

"In the room." Odd, Yeosang thinks. It's not like you two to be separated like this. It's pretty obvious Yunho is bothered by something and that you've probably gotten into a small fight over it. Yeosang isn't one to meddle much, especially when it's not his business to. But, he is concerned seeing his roommate like this. It's probably one of the rare times he ever sees Yunho upset.

"You sure everything's okay? I'm not really used to seeing you sitting out in the living room in silence like this." Yunho lets out a tiny chuckle that's barely audible, but he finally turns to Yeosang and purses his lips.

"I guess. Just exhausted lately."

"I bet. You've been working your ass off." Yeosang looks into the fridge before stepping away with a cold water bottle and heading towards Yunho. "Y/N put some food in there for you, by the way."

"Did she?"

"Yeah. It has a little sticky note on top." Of course you did, why wouldn’t you? You always thought about Yunho no matter what.

"Fuck."

"What?"'

"I've been such a dick to her tonight."

"What'd you do?"

"It's so stupid." Yunho begins to explain how his day has just been all over the place— from work, to staying late and not being able to see you before practice, no updates until 3+ hours after practice, looking forward to a food run that didn't end up happening because of Hyunjin. All Yeosang can do is laugh a bit and shake his head.

"Dude, we all have bad days. It's inevitable. You're still adjusting so don't be so hard on yourself. It's hard going from a routine you were so used to, especially with Y/N. Then, having to switch it up and play tetris with your time. It's not easy. But also, I'm sure Y/N has been feeling the same way. She's just doing what she can to support you first and foremost. She'd never hurt you intentionally, and I know she'd always choose you in the end." Yunho's head drops as he leans onto his knees and sighs again.

"Fuck, you're right. I don't know why today was so difficult. I guess it all piled on for me and I didn't know how to sort through it."

"All good. Shit happens." Yeosang shrugs. "Anyway. I'm gonna head to bed. You should probably do the same. I know she's probably waiting for you."

"Thanks." Yeo gives him a little dap before he's off to get comfy and end his day. Yunho stays on the couch for a few more minutes before he brushes his teeth and washes up for bed. He stands in the bathroom for a few more seconds before gaining the courage to finally talk to you about everything that's been going on today. When he walks in, you're still bundled under the sheets, but your phone is against the wall and a video is playing. He can hear you sniffling through the video though, and he knows you've been crying.

God dammit, Yunho.

"Baby?" You hear Yunho softly call your name as he slips into bed and wraps his arms around you.

"Mhm?" You respond, still facing away from him.

"Can we talk?" You sigh and exit the video, locking your phone before turning towards Yunho and setting your phone onto the table.

"Don't force yourself if you aren't ready to."

"I am, and I'm sorry." He looks at you with those puppy dog eyes and it instantly feels like you have your loving, incredibly sweet and attentive boyfriend back.

"What happened?"

"I don't really know. To be honest, I don't have that great of an explanation. I was just tired and I was really looking forward to seeing you before practice. I couldn't see you then because of work, so I was even more excited to see you after practice and to go on our run together. But, you came later and the whole thing with Hyunjin—" He pauses and shakes his head. "It was so stupid and childish of me. I didn't need to act that way, and I'm so sorry I was such a dick to you over that." You cup his cheek and caress the surface with your thumb.

"You should've just told me, babe."

"It's so dumb, though?" He furrows his brows, mainly at himself.

"Nothing is dumb. Whatever hurts you, hurts me. We're in this together, remember? We're on the same team. I just need you to communicate and be honest, like you always tell me. Okay? I'll do anything to fix it and make it better. I'm your safe space like you are mine."

"I know." He leans into your touch before placing a soft kiss to your palm. "I'll do better."

"We have our bad days and that's okay. It won't make me love you any less. Tell me if you need space or if you need anything from me. I want you to be happy and comfortable."

"I know."

"Okay. And I'm sorry about the food run. I promise I'll keep my end of it next time."

"Wasn't your fault, baby. Nothing could have prevented that." You give him a tiny, toothless smile before kissing the tip of his nose.

"Are we okay?" He nods.

"I'm so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way.” He repeats before leaning in to peck you on the lips. He holds the kiss before parting and looking you in the eye, brushing the hair away from your face. He dips in for another kiss— this time, it's deeper. More passionate. His hand comes down to the small of your back as he presses against you, slipping his tongue in to fight for dominance against yours. The kiss is so full of love and neediness, but there's no push or pressure to make anything out of it.

So, Yunho continues to kiss you. Pushing up against you ever so slightly while parting from your lips to leave a trail across your jaw.

Your chin.

Your neck.

Back up to your lips.

He loves the way you softly sigh in content, listening to him repeatedly whisper 'I love you' against your lips. Into your neck. Across your jaw. He loves the way you gently bite onto his bottom lip as a way of asking for more. He loves the way your fingers tug on the ends of his hair, the way you press your lips against his cheek, forehead, nose. The way you caress his cheeks and never let him go.

It's amongst the many on his list of favorite things.

He continues to coo you and praise you in between kisses throughout the night, smiling while hearing your giggles and smothering you with more kisses until you find yourself getting sleepy. He holds you close and sings a soft lullaby, playing with your hair as you drift off to sleep with the cutest smile on your face. He can’t help but admire you, fighting the exhaustion that’s been hitting him all week for a little longer. He fights it until he can’t anymore but fuck it, it’s all worth it.

Because sitting at the very top of his favorites list is you.

⇢ permanent taglist: @asjkdk @bintificreads @interweab @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs

[c0smoshit]

Back home with you˚₊﹅

⋆ ࣪. ℙ𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘 ≫ Leon S Kennedy/Reader

⋆ ࣪. ℙ𝕝𝕠𝕥 ≫ Giving Leon a comforting massage on the bathtub after what happened in Spain <3

⋆ ࣪. 𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 ≫ fluff, slight suggestive(?), kissing, bath with lots of massages, just tired Leon coming back home

⋆ ࣪. 𝔸/ℕ ≫ Short fluffy fic for Leon cuz I miss him so much. Sorry if there are like, a lot of spelling mistakes wrote this at 2 am lol. Not proofread !!

⋆ ࣪. 𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥 ≫ 1.804

Spain, a place you've learned to hate the moment Leon had stepped outside of your door a few nights earlier.

Couldn't the goverment leave him fucking alone for once? He already survived Raccoon City not so long ago. Why did he, out of all people, had to rescue the president's daughter??

You missed him, he was only gone for a few hours and you already wanted him back home with you, safe. After all the countless nights you had woken up to him sweating and breathing quickly just because he had a nightmare with Raccon City.

You had met him a year after the incident yet he couldn't get over it, not even six years later. And you didn't blame him, he was just a rookie cop whose luck wasn't at it's peak. He had told you everything, from Marvin to Sherry and that weird giant guy. At first he wasn't so talkative with the matter but the longer you had told him to just let it out, the more he told you about his worst nightmare. God and the things he saw, you sometimes wondered if he was just exaggerating, but the way he spoke, his voice toned down and that glint in his eyes. He wasn't lying, he knew that what he had seen sounded like some sci-fi shit, but it was real. He wished he was lying.

You sat down on your sofa after you had finished your dinner, picking up your phone. He hadn't answer any of your calls and you were starting to get worried. He always picked the phone if it was you, it didn't matter if he was working, filling some papers or if he was busy talking with his boss.

What if something had happened to him? God it had been almost 2 days since he left and he promised you that he'd be home before you could even blink.

You tried to stay positive, he already had survived a zombie apocalipse before and this was just some random village in Spain... right?

Hours passed, it was already dark outside, the moonlight bathing your living room as you sat there patiently waiting. You wanted to do something special when he came back, something that could take the stress out of him. A bath came into your mind, he loved baths, the feeling of the warm water washing away all the dirt and relaxing his sore muscles. Yeah, he probably wanted that but you wanted to do something else for him.

A ruffling of keys disturbed your thoughs. Quickly getting up from your seated position you rushed to the door, not even putting on your slippers as you opened the door. It was really him, finally back home.

"Leon! "

Your squeal filled his ears huffing when you launched yourself into his arms, hugging him tightly. He was so happy to be here with you again, being able to feel you, breathe you in.

He returned the hug, securing his arms around your waist as he smiled softly while looking down to see your face smashed into his chest. He found it a cute gesture, hell, everything about you was cute, waiting for him at this hour of the night.

"You're not asleep"

He mumbled out and you pulled off him to face him, eyes finally locking again.

"Of course not, I was waiting for you dummie"

Your sweet voice was like taking a wiff of fresh air for him, he had waited so long to hear you again. But he felt a bit guilty, you should be getting some rest now, not waiting for him to come back home. That was one of the many cons he mentally listed about his job, it kept him away from you, sometimes for days or even weeks.

He couldn't bear the loss of your soft touch, your voice, your hair, your smell. Everything about you was perfect to his eyes and the nights he had spent alone at work, without your sweet reassuring whispers and the way you drew soothing circles on his back whenever he couldn't sleep, it made him crazy. He couldn't sleep without you, not as deep as you managed to drive him into Cloud 9.

"Why haven't you answered your phone? I was dead worried about you"

Right... his phone. With all the fights he got involved into in Spain, he wasn't surprised when his phone had dissapeared from his pocket. And he knows he should've called you, maybe someone could lend him their phone but he wanted to hear your voice as soon as possible, coming from your mouth and not some stupid device.

"I'm sorry baby, I must have lost it, I should have called you"

You shook your head telling him not to worry that he was here with you afterall. He felt himself being yanked inside your shared home and into the bathroom, your hands quickly unfastening his belt.

"Woah, I didn't think you missed me so much"

His smirk made your cheeks heat, cheeky bastard.

"You're taking a bath first"

You replied in his same teasing tone as you smiled back. You began filling the bathtub, putting some relaxing lavender bath salts inside. He got his shirt off his hand falling on your waist as he pulled your back into him by your belly, kissing your shoulder.

"I missed you"

His whispered words made your heart clench, you finally had your blonde back with you. You leant into his touch, now both of his hands enveloped your waist and his kisses travelled higher until they met your neck. He really missed you, he missed your kisses and god those hands of yours, he just wanted to hug you and smoosh every part of your body until he died. Giggling you pulled him off you, looking at the water.

"Water's ready"

You whispered out before placing a kiss into his lips, chuckling when he chased your lips again. He tossed the rest of his clothes off, getting inside of the water before you could even take a glance of his body. The water splashed a bit as he laid down inside of the tub, letting out a satisfied sigh as soon as the warm water made contact with his body.

Poor baby, he must have fought countless monsters or whatever the hell was in Spain. He had scratches and bruises that were already starting to heal on his body, you ran your hand through one of them before slowly kissing it, earning a small smile from him.

You adored kissing his skin, his bruises and his scars. He had been through a lot, kissing him just made you feel as if you were taking away all those bad times he had to risk his life in order to see you again.

You grabbed a sponge and poured some soap on it, rubbing it slowly over his arms first, carefully getting all the sweat off him. Trailing your sponge to his chest you smiled when he squirmed a bit when you reached his neck, slightly tickling him.

You were so good to him, taking care of him no matter how late it was or how tired you were. You were always there for him. He often thought that god himself had made you cross his path on purpose, made you just for him. You were there when he needed you the most, when he needed someone to lend him a shoulder for him to rest in, arms that wrapped around him so warmly. He never really thought he could have fallen in love with someone as hardly as he did with you, hell he thought he never could have fallen in love with someone after all the shit he had been through.

Soon your hands washed all his body, giving him soft kisses in the process, enjoying how he relaxed under your touch. You liked the feeling of his soaked skin touching yours, it was just so intimate, a cute gesture between the both of you.

It was silent there, the only sound that was heard was the movement of the water and the sponge rubbing his body so tenderly. He could get lost in this feeling, and this this was his favourite thing about his job, probably the only one.

You placed the sponge down, resting your head on your arm as you leant into the tub. You were sitting down beside him, your arms were soaked up and with little bubbles lingering on top of your skin. You both closed your eyes, breathing softly and just enjoying your quality time together for once.

Your hands found his right arm, lifting it up and off the water, looking at how the water trickled his skin. Starting by the forearm you began massaging it, making sure all the knots were freed from his muscles. He was literally up in the clouds right now, his arms ached, everything ached. And he was lucky he had such a precious girlfriend who also gave the best massages in the world, he adored your hands, how they worked magic with him.

"You're perfect darling"

He slurred out, so lost in the feeling to even pronounce what he said. You just smiled like a dork, chuckling a bit at his blissed out state, getting back to work on his hands now. You drew straight and firm lines on the longitude of his muscles, focusing on putting preassure on them as you rubbed your fingers up and down on his skin. He had calloused hands, a pretty normal feature thanks to the hard training he had to do with Krausser. He also was veiny, and he had thick ones too, poking out of his skin in a bluish colour. But his hands were pretty, you thought as you slid your fingers over his smooth fingers.

He was your priority right now, and you weren't going to stop until every muscle had softened up inside of him. You just wanted to make him feel good after all the stress he had to be under in that stupid mission. You kissed his hand after you finished, pecking it softly before grabbing his other arm.

He packed such strong arms, he was a tough guy after all. And that made him perfect, the way he could hold you up on his arms without any sign of pain for as long as you wanted to, how he enveloped your entire stomach with his massive arm, god he was so perfect.

He still had his eyes closed when you had finished, resting on the side of the tub as you watched his slow breathing. He was finally here with you.

[pixelatedraindrops]

RAINCODE COMIC COLLAB~☔️

BEHOLD THE FRUITS OF MY LABOR!!

3 full weeks of work and its finally completed!

So @kazinsblog and I did another raincode art collab together but this one was a HUGE project! This one's a full 18 page comic!

Idk if you all remember the comic idea that Kazin was planning to do that involved Yuma overworking himself until he gets sick and then gets tended to by everyone else. But when I saw it, I decided to ask her if she was willing to possibly collaborate on it, remaking it where she sketched it and I colored it.

Kazin's Beta images: 1 2 3 4

So here's the results of all that work. We've been at this since December 17th so this has been an almost full month collaboration. And of course mine's a bit more altered to my own style as well as adding my own touches and making it a little more whumpy/extreme... X'D I also freehand drew shinigami in my version as well.

Both our versions look pretty different! The only thing that are the same are the poses. So feel free to check out Kazin's traditional version as well!

Since its an 18 page comic, I decided to put it under a keep reading so it won't clutter everyone's timelines. Also, I will be narrating the pages because I love narrating sick filler type stories. So brace yourself for a VERY LOOONG post!! Def need time to read this one! (and no purple tinted filters here this time!)

Also note: If the writing is blue, it means the character is thinking, just like in the game! :)

And I apologize on the inconsistency of Yuma's bangs... I thought it was one way before so half of the comic he looks like he has square bangs... oof XD I fix it around page 10

ANYWAY, hope you enjoy this soft buffet, Raincode Community! 🌡️💕

(Page 1)

Our story begins on an ordinary day in Kanai Ward. Rainy gloomy and depressing as ever. Our little victim... wait... XD I mean protagonist Yuma decides to go out to investigate more about Kanai Ward to try to track down it's supposed ultimate secret. Yakou sets him off wishes him well and tells him to be careful. However, as he's out, he finds out a lot of people in the city need help. Because of his good nature and unable to turn down someone in need, he decides to help whoever he can. (the ultimate side-questing lol) Before he knows it, he's soaking wet and he had helped 10 people in total. Time passed and it was almost evening so he returns to the submarine. Yuma was completely unphased by this. (and he didn't dry himself off for 4 hours due to being occupied with tasks)

(Page 2)

Yuma returns to the Agency's submarine to greet his chief holding his meatbun order. (that also got wet) But Yakou notices that the trainee is sopping wet to the core and shivering. He immediately loudly demands that he sit down so he can tend to him. Yuma does as he's told and sits on the checkered sofa. Yakou rushes to the shower room to grab some small towels to help him dry off. But because Yakou is so panicked, he ends up being very rough in drying Yuma, pulling his hair and causing the small boy pain. After he dries him off, he tells Yuma he isn't allowed to leave anymore for the rest of the day and demands him to rest. Yuma tries to retaliate using puppy eyes, but it doesn't work. Yakou is immune.

(Page 3)

The next day Yuma asks Yakou if he can go out to work after he finishes his morning chores around the place looking very eager. Yakou still looks a little concerned by how tired Yuma looks, so he tells him to not go out alone. He assigns him a partner to go with the rest of the week.

On the first day he's paired with Halara. The two of them are asked to investigate the art gallery of Ginma. (maybe after the nail man case) But over time, Yuma starts developing a lingering cough that persists for quite some time. Halara asks Yuma is he's okay, to which Yuma lies saying that it's due to the dust of the room. But of course being sharp, Halara isn't buying it. But they decide to not persist him further.

On the second day, he's paired with Desuhiko. They're asked to go help out at the Aetheria Academy with another case (not murder related this time) However on the way to the school and in Ginma, Yuma starts slowing down, he's shaking and is a little wobbly. Desuhiko notices this and asks if he wants to go to the cafe for a drink. Yuma nods and as they go to the cafe and order some coffee, Yuma takes off his hat and coat and Desuhiko finally realizes how pale he looks. He's even slower at replying to him as he speaks, as if he's in a daze. Desuhiko decides to take Yuma back to the agency after this.

(Page 4)

On Day three, he's paired with Fubuki. But he doesn't even make it to the case as when he goes to the sun and moon hotel to meet with her, Fubuki notices and points out that Yuma's face looks red. The boy clearly had a fever building. Yuma argues with her but Fubuki persists. The two of them try to go to the case but Yuma nearly collapses. So Fubuki returns him to the agency.

On the fourth day where he's supposed to be paired with Vivia he spends a majority of the day passed out. Vivia decides to watch over him using his forte to not disturb him. During the night while he's asleep, his breathing gets more labored and he's completely restless. Vivia looks at him deeply worried for his dear friend's well being.

The next morning Yuma somehow finds the strength to get himself up. Maybe that one day of rest was enough. But Yakou insists that he stays put today. Angrily yelling at him to be still and take today off as well.

Meanwhile, a certain two seem to notice each other...

(Page 5)

Vivia's spirit notices Shinigami and decides to give her a warning. Make sure Yuma listens to Yakou and doesn't leave. Giving her the iciest glare, Shinigami fearfully agrees.

But this effort would be for naught, despite how he feels, Yuma's relentless determination forces himself up, putting on his rain attire and heads up the steps of the sub to the outside when Yakou isn't looking. Shinigami does what she can to stop him, but he doesn't listen...and Shinigami being a ghost, there was nothing she could do to physically hold him back. All she could do was follow, and prepare for the inevitable.

By some miracle he makes it to the church, up the stairs to speak to the nun. Who tells him to play therapy again for the townsfolk. He nods and heads to his first client. But when he returns to kamasaki to speak to him, he can barely make out what he's saying as he lets out a few more coughs.

Once he leaves the client, before long, Yuma could hear something in his body snap.

(Note: I direct most of the story, but Vivia conversing with Shinigami in spirit mode was actually Kazin's idea! So credit to her for that, So silly and fun! ^^)

(Page 6)

Yuma's body had finally reached it's limit. All the fatigue, chills and body aches had hit him all at once at full force like armed weaponry. His head began throbbing, he was shaking violently and uncontrollably, he felt nauseated by the rain's smell, and his body heat and the lingering dizziness was unbearable. He found a safe corner in the alleyway of Kamasaki to collapse. Telling Shinigami she was right and he should have listened to her, while the burning fever and cold rain wrecked his delicate frame even further. His voice was hardly audible, but Shinigami still heard and practically tells him to go back. But Yuma had no strength left...

Then like clockwork as they finish speaking, he could hear his name called. At first it sounded kind and questionable. But that rapidly changed, the voice now angrily yelling out his full name. As he looked up this voice belonged to...Yakou. He looks down at the boy in pure disappointment and anger.

Turns out a certain someone was tailing him. And alerted Yakou what happened just in time.

(Note: I make the red darker the more extreme the temperature and lighter the less extreme. I got to experiment with all sorts of new ways to color fevers hehe~ >w<)

(Page 7)

Yuma shockingly looks up at Yakou. Oh no, he was so BUSTED! Shinigami even says as much. Yakou practically scoops Yuma in his arms carrying him back to the agency. As he was lifted Yuma's world begun spinning. He could barely hear the chief nagging him in a panicked tone. It was all distorted and it was making his head hurt more. Yakou placed a hand to his cheek and was shocked by how hot it felt. All Yuma could do was apologize and hope his world stops spinning and that Yakou eventually stops yelling... (also I put numbers for the order to read the speech bubbles in)

Upon returning to the agency, Yakou dries Yuma off, asks Desuhiko to give him a warm set of clothes to borrow and put him to his own bed. Grabbing a basin of very cold water, washcloths and a digital thermometer. He placed one of the wet cold cloths under his bangs and upon reading the boy's temperature, it was high. Almost high enough to visit the ER. Yakou was even more mad, but speaks in a non yelling tone. Giving Yuma another stern warning to not leave the bed. To which Yuma weakly agrees to.

But Yakou's back to yelling again, feeling paranoid Yuma would be missing by the time he gets back from getting the supplies. So he drills that message right into the boy's already throbbing head once more. Everyone else in the office awkwardly listen in as the sick trainee gets scolded.

(Note: Just an FYI, Yuma's speech bubbles being wavy is a sign his voice is raspy and the text being a bit hard to read means his voice is hardly audible)

(Page 8)

Yakou leaves Yuma alone and walks into the office in his raincoat telling the other detectives that he'll be leaving soon and to watch over Yuma in his absence and NOT let him leave. He is so full of anger and anxiety that he yells at all of them too.

Everyone agrees and as Yakou leaves, they all discuss among themselves Yuma's state the days they were partners with him. He was in bad shape. And he only got worse as the days went by. They all knew.

(Page 9)

Meanwhile back in Yakou's quarters, Yuma was getting lectured yet again. This time by his death god partner, Shinigami. The poor trainee only wanted peace and quiet to make the pain in his head go away, using what little energy he has remaining speaking in his head he tried telling her to stop.

But the aggravated spirit persisted, saying that as his mentor she had the right to scold him just as much as Yakou. She continued her rant, until an abrupt sound from her master shut her up.

The few coughs that came from Yuma eventually erupted into a full blown coughing fit. The coughs sounding more wet, rough and serious. After coughing 10 to 15 times in a row Yuma was exhausted. Shinigami looked down at him panting with concern and pity in her eyes. She decided to stop the lecture for his sake.

After the fit, Yuma was left raggedly breathing. As Shinigami gave him her permission to rest and take it easy, he didn't answer. He couldn't. That fit completely mangled his throat. He was not able to speak vocally or in thought process anymore due to his head being in too much pain. As was the rest of his body, aching and burning. So he didn't answer her. All he could do was hope sleep would eventually take hold of him to make all this awful heat and pain stop even if for a just moment.

(Note: That's the penalty Yuma... x'D Sorry I gotta make him suffer lol. Also this is the only page that’s actually read left to right. I messed that up, sorry!!)

(Page 10)

After some time passed it was time for the Master Detectives to all take part in taking care of Yuma. The whole agency had a day off to do this. So upon his return, Yakou instructs everyone to look after Yuma in 2 hour shifts through the day. Even if it was just to watch him sleep. He couldn't be left alone.

Halara was first. Their task was to help Yuma take the medicine that was bought. There were three types of medicine for him to take. Antibiotics (white pills) for the general illness symptoms, painkillers (red and white pills) for the headache/fever, and finally...cough syrup. (aka his least favorite... XD) Halara made sure to be very gentle with Yuma propping him upward as his whole body was burning and he was very shaky. He even had trouble drinking the water, so Halara had to get a mug instead so they could help him drink it by holding the handle, and using the other hand to support his back. Despite the struggle, Halara worked diligently to complete their task as a caretaker in full. (as for who paid them to do this...idk I'll leave that to your imagination XD)

(The cough syrup idea was inspired by this fic :3)

Desuhiko had the second shift and the whole time he was waiting for his turn, he was writing a song for Yuma. Having the delusion that his angelic voice would lul the sick boy to sleep, he played his guitar and began singing. Yuma's headache did improve enough to speak in his head now, but that wouldn't last, as the loud noises from the guitar made his head pound even further with every strum. Shinigami begs for the noise to cease fire on her poor eardrums, but Yuma doesn't have it in him to stop Desuhiko. The gesture was kind so he decided to try to listen to the whole song, despite the noise. He does eventually tell him to stop though (using hand gestures) when another song comes afterward. So then the two spend their time conversing for a bit, (though desuhiko does more of the talking as yuma just nods or makes small noises/hand gestures due to his throat still hurting too much to talk) Desuhiko even telling him he could keep the sweater and shorts he had lent to him. To which Yuma softly smiles at him as a thank you before he eventually falls asleep again.

Fubuki has the third shift, and her task was to feed Yuma the warm vegetable soup that was bought earlier and that Halara had just finished making, along with Fubuki's help. She volunteers to feed him as she remembers a time she was ill as a child in the clockford mansion and one of her servants tended to her, feeding her soup just the same. Unfortunately, because this was a memory of her early childhood, she repeats similar phrases as the servant did when she was feeding Yuma, who was clearly not a small child. Yuma's fever had dropped enough to where he could find a bit of strength to try and sit up on his own now, and his once mangled throat’s condition had improved for him to speak a little bit. As he listened to Fubuki's rambling he tries to play along with her despite the whole thing being a bit embarrassing for someone his age. At least the soup was nice and warm. It felt good going down his very sore throat.

(Funny Fact: The order that Yuma is both partnered and tended to by each detective, is the same order as the chapters in game he's partnered with them LOL)

(Page 11)

It was evening, and now it was Vivia's turn to take the fourth and final shift. At first he was just going to sit and watch Yuma while he read his book quietly, but Yakou suggested that he read one of his books out loud to Yuma to help him relax better like a bedtime story. Vivia was unsure at first, as he's never read to anyone before. But he decided to give it a try. He asks Yuma what his preference in literature is before he starts, and Yuma tells him he enjoys detective novels the most. So he pulls out the novel that was in his reading list and begins to read it out loud to him. Turns out he was quite a natural at narrating, and his slow voice was very soothing. Yuma felt so relaxed that he felt like he would fall asleep any minute, but he tries to stay awake to listen to the story a bit more. Shinigami however, conks out immediately. (fyi: yes this is the novel Vivia talks about in his final gumshoe gab. I tried to make up stuff based on it.. X'D)

Once the clock strikes 9pm and night falls, the Master Detectives all wish Yuma well and leave to return to the hotel to retire for the night. It was just Yakou and Yuma now. Yakou, who had just come back from another errand, walks over to Yuma who was now fast asleep. He looked a little better so Yakou removed the towel from his forehead and places his hand onto it. It still felt warm but no longer as hot as it did hours ago. Meaning he was out of the danger zone, much to Yakou's relief. He places the towel back in the water basin wringing it out and re-applying it to his forehead. Then he lets out a yawn. He was pretty tired. He decides that instead of sleeping in the office on one of the sofas, he'd stay by Yuma's side. His removes his jacket, goes and turns off the overhead lights, sits down and places his head down on his desk. Then after telling the sleeping trainee goodnight he turns off the small light by his desk.

OKAY FUN FACT: The comic WAS going to end here going on to the final page... Buuut~ We were STARVING for some good ol' Yakou Fathero :3 So... Enjoy these bonus 6 pages of Yakou having a shift of his own to look after Yuma in the middle of the night. And its the longest shift.

This ones for you Yakou Fathero fans! Eat your fill!

(I know we sure did :3)

Also I apologize if the lighting here is inaccurate ;w; I tried my best I'm no pro LOL

(Page 12)

A little past midnight, Yuma was stirring in his sleep. Making all sorts of groaning sounds as if he was in pain. He was likely having a nightmare. This is confirmed by his eyes suddenly opening and him violently flinging himself up screaming, and the cold cloth flying off his forehead.

This sound wakes Yakou up immediately as he puts his glasses back on asking Yuma if he's okay. He flicks the light by his desk on to check on him. Yuma's found shaking with tears in his eyes stating quietly that it was just a dream. Yakou sympathizes with Yuma as fever dreams were usually not fun, but a fever NIGHTMARE was always bad. The chief offers the shaking trainee some water to try to help him settle down.

(FYI: Shinigami is going to be absent from this part of the story because I think her banter and antics would ruin the fluff, so she'll just be lurking above in the shelf like a cat the whole time.)

(Page 13)

Yuma accepts the water practically snatching it from Yakou's hands and quickly gulping it down. Yakou tells him to pace himself not wanting him to choke. Once he exhales from the water drink, Yuma sheepishly apologizes for waking Yakou up with his scream, feeling like a burden. Yakou reassures him it's okay and decides to ask him the question of why he pushed himself this far while he was still awake. Hard enough to make himself sick. Why did he do it?

Yuma was surprised by this but decides to try to tell him. He hands the water glass back and began talking. Under his raspy voice and somewhat heavy breathing, he says that he wanted to be useful as he felt like a burden to everyone since he lost his memory. He also says that he likes helping others and that it feels familiar to him. Determined to try to unlock a core memory of his past he kept doing this, even to the point of pushing his limits.

Then he suddenly stopped speaking...

(Page 14)

...aaand cue the coughing fit. Yuma's throat got scratchy and irritated after his long explanation, causing him to cough about 5/8 times in a row. Not as bad as his previous fit but it was more than enough to startle and worry Yakou.

Yakou quickly hands Yuma the water glass he had just taken from him hoping it would soothe his throat. He tells him that helping others is a good thing but he shouldn't push himself to the point that his health gets affected. Yuma quietly nods and as he sips the water still shaking, Yakou feels bad and decides to apologize to him for being harsh before. Stating that he only lost his temper because he was scared and worried for him. He also places his hand to Yuma's cheek in both comfort and to check his temperature. It felt slightly warmer than a few hours ago.

Yuma quietly apologizes to Yakou for worrying him, still holding the water glass. Yakou forgives him. Then he takes the glass from him and then the towel that fell off Yuma's forehead. He grabs a fresh one and soaks it in the basin wringing it out and places it back on the trainee’s forehead unintentionally a bit roughly. Yuma groans and shivers a little from the cold of it.

Yakou then lies Yuma back down, tucking him back in trying to make him comfortable. But his actions were a bit too comforting. He was not meaning to in any way and he wasn't sure what came over him, but he was treating Yuma like a little kid. Yuma notices and feels a little embarrassed by it, but decides to only say it in his head.

Yakou decides to do one more thing before he lets him go back to sleep.

(Note: Hey far as anyone's concerned Yuma, you are practically his BABY when you are having a sick day, so deal with it hehehe :3c)

(Page 15)

Temperature taking page time :D (my favorite, teehee! I know some cultures and in anime they take the temperature under the arm, but there's just something so endearing and adorable about a sickie with a thermometer in their mouth <3 OKAY MY RAMBLING ASIDE...)

Yakou is now a bit concerned that Yuma's fever spiked again after that little harsh coughing fit so he decides to take his temperature one more time before letting Yuma go to sleep again. Yuma obliges and goes along with it opening his mouth as the device is inserted.

After 15 seconds the device beeps and Yakou takes it out. Yuma shyly pulls the duvet up to his face and hides as he meekly asks if its any better feeling a little nervous. Yakou responds that it is better than it was the first time, where it was a dangerous degree.

However, he still wasn't out of the woods yet. The fever was still there and although it went down, it was still in the red. Yakou states that he's still feverish to which Yuma just apologizes. Poor thing just wants this to be over, he really doesn't want to trouble anyone anymore.

(sorry yuma I can't let you off that easily hehe 😈)

(also yes I put an instruction manual for how the thermometer works, I am so obsessed that I even give the thermometer lore LMAO. Sorry if I'm inaccurate in any of those readings. I used google... ^^;)

(Page 16)

Yakou places the thermometer back on the desk and tells Yuma to go to sleep. Saying the fever will likely break by morning. To which Yuma states that he's in Yakou's bed and that he should return to the checkered sofa so his boss could sleep, attempting to try getting up. But Yakou puts a hand on his shoulder stopping him and denies this and says his desk is fine and that Yuma needed the bed more than him.

He also says that if Yuma had another bad dream that he would be there for him. Yuma smiles at Yakou quietly thanking him as he's tucked back into the duvet. Yakou pats it gently telling the trainee to close his eyes.

It isn't long before Yuma is back to being fast asleep. (and shinigami too)

Yakou monologues to himself for a bit groaning at how much trouble this small detective has been for him since he showed up. But then he switches his tune and places a hand to Yuma's head petting it softly. He says he's happy he's working hard for the sake of his memories but right now he needs to work on getting better. Saying it would help everyone in the agency if he wanted to help people.

He wishes him well continuing to pet his head for a bit longer to soothe him before going back to sleep himself turning the light off again.

(Page 17)

2 hours later, Yuma was stirring and whining in his sleep once again. Yakou groggily wakes up wiping his tired eyes upon hearing the soft noises the small trainee was uttering. And he was crying again. Can only be one thing: Another nightmare.

Instead of turning the light on to wake him up, Yakou moves his chair close to him sitting at his side. Not saying a single word. (cept in his head lol) He reaches his hand for Yuma's as it twitches and he takes hold of it gently.

Yakou eventually leans on the bed as he does so and falls asleep sitting up again. Yuma's groaning and and heavy breathing begin to settle down a little as he felt Yakou's presence close by.

Then he smiles as he closes his hand in his sleep holding Yakou's hand back, leaning a bit close to it. He felt safe again... <3

(Note: This poor thing has way too much trauma... ;w; I headcanon that he's prone to night terrors on occasion, but when he gets a fever, its even WORSE. Fevers do be messing with your head... x3)

(Page 18 Final)

The next morning when Yakou wakes up, he checks on Yuma. He still felt slightly warm but he looked much better. Seemed the worst was over and it would likely last just one more day.

When he's fully awake and at his desk, Desuhiko shows up asking Yakou if Yuma's okay and offered to wake him up. Yakou denies it saying Yuma needed one more day of rest, the fever may have been only slight now, but in the rain it would rise again easily.

Desuhiko agrees and declares that he's going to work hard today. Likely to make up for Yuma's absence. Yakou teases him and the two have a bit of a banter.

Yuma meanwhile is asleep peacefully. Still having a slight red tint to his cheeks, but he's able to sleep a lot easier now. His fever was slowly but surely breaking. (now in the yellow) Shinigami sleeps beside him, making sure she protects him from any nightmares in yakou's absence. (after all only SHE can give her master nightmares)

He wakes up fully recovered the following morning thanking everyone for taking such good care of him, and he makes sure to not push himself anymore. And continues searching for the city's ultimate secret while pacing himself to help others from now on.

THE END ❤️

(I practically made this into a sickfic in its own right... XD)

Thanks for reading!! Hope you enjoyed!! This is just a little artist credit page I made for Kazin and I c: Also art semi-face reveal?? xD Kinda?? Idk lol (we just two gals that like our sick comfort haha x3)

Anyway thank you again Kazin for doing this with me!! It was hard work but it was a blast and the final result came out amazing. Its surely a project I will cherish forever~ 💜🩷✨🌡️

A wholesome story to start 2024 on a good note.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

wibta if I started a different discord chat for my friend group just to exclude one person

I know it sounds bad and that I'm just starting shit but we've all been friends for 10+ years now so it's not something I'm considering lightly. We currently have a private discord server of just the 4 of us that we switched to as opposed to a traditional gc since we all have different phones and its good for having multiple conversations, quality photos and videos, and keeping a clear record of when and where plans are made

Anyway, this isn't a recent problem but the friend (A) has always had a tardiness problem it started with her not being able to wake up early in the morning but even if we have late night/afternoon plans she still can't get dressed and/or finish her makeup on time and causes us to be consistently at least 1 hour late which I was hoping she'd start growing out of after highschool but this isn't the case (we're now all 22+) and is especially frustrating when going out to eat bc by the time we leave all of us are hangry and expected to eat hours earlier. Recently A has started prioritizing other friends of hers which is nbd she can have other friends we all do except she'll drop plans last min with us to go with them which is also annoying bc it's disrespectful for the rest of us to be blown off like that. We're clearly not her priority anymore but she always expects to be ours, plans have to be on her work schedule, on her timeframe, on if she will be tired etc. plus being an afterthought leaves out a friend in the group (B) who had to move out of state with family and now he can't tell if we're making plans behind *his* back and he feels left in the dark when in truth he knows as much as I and the other local friend (C) do

It's to the point we've stopped doing any plans that start before like 2pm because we can't rely on her to be ready but she'll be upset if we don't wait for her while she's still getting ready, esp cuz we usually carpool, which already limits what we want to do together in the first place

However, it was my birthday recently and I'm currently ~2hr drive (no more than 3 with heavy traffic) from A and C, who doesn't have a car and needs to be picked up by A. I really wanted to go to my fav breakfast place and had some other plans for after and I kept emphasizing what time A needed to get here because the place closes early (they only serve breakfast). And at this point no one should be surprised she didn't arrive until after 1pm, after the place was closed, and at that point no one had eaten all day so we had to rush and find somewhere else that'd be open and nearby bc we were all starving and half my plans for the day were gone bc they were based on places we'd go after breakfast that also close in the afternoon (2-5 depending on the place) and since they are my closest friends and dont know my other friends who live closer and I've only known for less than 2 yrs (who I wasn't comfortable to ask for bday presents from yet still) (still got one from 1 even tho I insisted they didn't have to tho lol) they were the only people I made solid birthday plans with this year so it was really heartbreaking to deal with and have everything I was excited for be cancelled since it's hard for me to go out like this on my own w anxiety and busy work schedule too but I scheduled the day off. I was hoping that she would try even just a little bit because it was my birthday the one day I ask for literally anything and we rarely see each other now bc of conflicting work schedules and I DID plan for her to be semi late in secret but I didn't expect her to arrive for breakfast after 12

Anyway that's the whole backstory plus the recent straw on the camel's back but I just want to make a new chat between me, B, and C, to plan virtual movie and game nights bc she never reads the events chat anyway and all our online call plans grind to a halt for hours or days waiting for an answer bc at least C still wants to try and include A even tho her schedule is so busy or she's tired or will prob be late to the call and make us wait for her or cancel or leave early or we debate what game/movie A wants but she doesn't even NEED to be there it's just like.. Minecraft. Or a pirated 90s movie we're streaming or wtvr

I've tried saying like "hey I'm gonna be playing x on Saturday if anyone's free come and join me" but that usually just ends in me gaming alone bc it's so noncommittal the others will catch up on other work they have but really I'm just trying to hang with any of them even if 1 person can't make it at the time we don't always have to only call in a group yk?

A is nice otherwise like she's still my friend just planning anything with her is starting to be like pulling teeth and I still want to keep in touch with her and hear how she's doing from our discord server but stuff like that I just want to start separating her from weekly calls (which are currently more like monthly) bc she's so flakey but I know it's kinda shitty to purposefully leave her out and she'd be upset if she ever found out I was doing that.

I'm also open to advice on how to deal with this situation in general, thus the detail, without causing a huge fight or make anyone pick sides +her tardiness won't be something we can talk through it's something we've worked on for years and recently have just given up and accepted since she's late even to things that are important to her

What are these acronyms?

[postalninja]

Fic Author Q&A

Tagged by @cicaklah - thanks babe! (sorry if my answers end up vague or unsatisfying, it's past midnight and i would be in bed if there wasn't a music festival currently happening outside my window - I"m not exactly at my best lol)

1. Why do you write fanfic?

It started from the desire to make fictional characters kiss, which is still a large part of why I do it, so let's go with that.

2. Which of your posted stories do you think about the most, even though the story is “finished”?

I don't really know - I tend to think about a lot of my stories pretty often after they're finished, I'm not sure that there is a specific one I fixate on. They all get a bit of time in my brain, and i tend to go and re-read stuff too.

3. If you could give yourself fic advice from when you first started writing fic, what would that advice be?

S l o w d o w n. Don't be afraid of big word counts, it'll take as many words as it takes, and rushing toward the finish line will just make the pacing suffer. Make room for the moments in between, let the story breathe.

4. What’s your relationship to fic stats?

Lately I've found that not looking at them in too much detail is better. Over the summer I found myself looking at my stats for validation, and of course, not finding it there. But the problem is in my head, not on the stats page. So they are just numbers that are there, and if I need to check something specific, then that's a useful thing to have.

5. Is there a pairing or scenario or friendship you miss writing? If so, why? If not, why not?

I've really fallen off of writing for Hitman over the past couple of years, with only one short ficlet as a recent offering. It's one of the fandoms were my muse has been fleeting, but the fandom is so wonderful that I miss being a more active participant in it.

6. What motivates you to write?

Lately I have a pretty hard time writing without having clear inspiration, so that's the most surefire motivation is just being struck by an idea that grabs me and won't let go until I get it down on the page. But that sort of inspiration is hard to come by, so I haven't been writing very much in its absence.

7. Why do you write for the fandom(s) that you write for?

In most cases it's because I have a ship I'm obsessed with, and if not that than just general love for the game (it's almost always a game, let's not kid ourselves) and the characters. It's hard for me to write for a fandom unless I'm at least a little bit unhealthily obsessed with it.

8. If you’re stuck writing a WIP, what do you do?

Normally I will take a break, and some of those breaks have turned out longer than others... I have a few unfinished wips that are an albatross around my neck, and I'm not sure how to go about finishing them.

9. What do you wish people knew about comments?

They are all an author wants! We want to hear about what you liked and why, and given the chance we would talk your ear off about our fics, so don't ever feel like you're bothering an author by commenting something nice on their fic, we are looking for that engagement and validation.

10. Maybe there’s a question you wish had been on here. What’s that question (and answer)?

What's something you've been excited about/feeling good about recently with your writing? One thing I will mention is that a few days ago I went back and read a bunch of free writing exercises I did for a class last semester that i hadn't looked at since - I had completely forgotten about most of them, but when I read them again the majority of them were so good! It kind of bolstered my confidence that I had that kind of quality output from 10-minute warmups where I wasn't thinking too hard. Like, even though I haven't written much lately, I still know how to write!!

Not tagging anyone specific, just whoever want to do it because I am too tired to think and decide :)

[queenofthearchipelago]

Hiya! I've been following your blog for a while and can't help but notice that we share at least two fandoms. As a fellow suffering soul at the mercy of GO's season 2 finale, how are you doing?

First of all, know this ask made me smile and thank you so much for asking that. It's not every day in fandom life that we get a finale as heartbreaking and devastating as that and I love the people who have asked me how I'm doing about it. I love that this is a fandom where we're all supporting each other through all the heavy emotions.

I'm... I'm okay. Mostly. Probably. I think?

If you don't mind, I'm just genuinely gonna tell you how I feel about it. (Edit from the future, this got long, I'm so sorry lol) I went into this season expecting quiet, gentle, and romantic, and therefore, on that first watch-through, I was looking for quiet, gentle, and romantic. I didn't know what the season was going to be about other than that. I thought I was looking for the ways in which Crowley and Aziraphale were growing closer, and they did! But in that, I didn't know I was also supposed to be looking at the ways that they weren't communicating. I didn't know I was supposed to be looking at all the ways they clearly haven't healed from their traumas.

And so, when we got to that scene in the end, I was incredibly confused by Aziraphale. Crowley has always been my favorite character in this story, I relate to him most and I feel I always understand him. So I pretty quickly got his side of things. But Aziraphale... it just felt out of nowhere (and a little bit, it was. The Metatron really did just kinda show up and offer Az all of that) and it felt like I'd been betrayed a bit.

I thought Aziraphale had learned better about all of this at the end of season 1. That Crowley doesn't need to be an angel, he doesn't need to change. That Heaven is just as bad as Hell. That Heaven isn't exactly a system one person can just... fix. And for the first 5 episodes of this new season, I didn't recognize him struggling with any of this in the present day. He was happy and in love and he was okay with moving on.

And I was so confused why he was considering this, especially after seeing Crowley's reaction. And then after the kiss, Aziraphale still didn't really want to go to Heaven, he was gonna turn back. And he didn't because the Metatron rushed him. He went too fast. And I was so pained by it. Michael Sheen just ripped me apart with how he portrayed all the emotions Aziraphale was feeling. The microexpressions moved so fast it felt like I couldn't hold on to any one emotion any better than he could.

And so my heart was broken for Crowley, and I was confused and betrayed by Aziraphale. But I binged the entire season in one night, it was early morning when I finished it. I was tired, and I watched the season not actually knowing what I should have been looking for. And so I knew that it wasn't that Aziraphale was suddenly a bad character or something. I'm quite shocked by the people hating on Aziraphale's character. My first thought after I finished the season was literally, "I missed something. It's not Aziraphale's fault that I don't understand where that came from. I'm gonna have to rewatch this entire season when I'm more rested and watch it much slower. I'm gonna have to read all the meta written by people who still love and understand Aziraphale after this."

And that's what I did. I haven't rewatched the season yet, but I have been reading a lot of meta about Aziraphale's character written by people who genuinely seem to understand him. It highlighted a lot of things I'd missed the first time. The parallel between Lindsay and Nina and Heaven and Aziraphale. The fear that Aziraphale has been living in ever since Job, where he thinks he's crossed the line and deserves to fall. How his greatest temptation, in the eyes of Heaven, wasn't the food or giving away his sword, or lying. It was his relationship with Crowley.

I didn't realize how the purpose of the creation of the universe scene was that Aziraphale saw how happy Crowley was. And that he's willing to risk everything, his freedom and his beautiful life in the bookshop so that Crowley can be happy like that again. Because Aziraphale spent 6,000 years watching Crowley reject his own kind nature, his own impulse to do good, for the fear of Hell's punishment. It's not exactly that Aziraphale wants to change Crowley. It's that if Crowley was an angel, he could go back to freely being nice, and doing good. They could be together because there wouldn't be the threat of the Other Side coming for them and ripping them apart.

Aziraphale doesn't want to change Crowley. He loves Crowley. But he is still scared of what Heaven thinks of it. Heaven still thinks that angels and demons can't be together because they're on opposite sides. And the powers greater than them who believe this will always try to rip them apart.

He just wants a better world for Crowley. He wants Crowley happy and safe. Is this the way to do it, no. I think Crowley is right that Aziraphale can't change Heaven. I think Crowley is probably scared out of his mind right now that Aziraphale is going back into the lion's den. Because Crowley watched for 6,000 years as Aziraphale was manipulated by Heaven, he saw how scared his angel was. And now he's going back under some misguided understanding that it'll be different this time.

I think that's what Crowley was thinking about in the car in the end credits. I think it was part "I can't believe he chose Heaven over me, because he wants to fix Heaven FOR me, the idiot." and part "He's gonna be manipulated again. And when he realizes it, he's gonna be so scared."

All Crowley wants in this world is for Aziraphale to be okay. Wants him to be free and safe. Free to eat whatever he wants without guilt. Free to do good because he wants to, not because he's had his orders. Free to dance with a demon. Free to be an us. Because he watched Aziraphle be scared of these things for millennia. He watched his angel think he deserved to be a demon for it. And he doesn't. And now Aziraphale's gone back to a place where there is no food, he won't have the opportunity to do clever good deeds in human's lives (he'll be running heaven), and Crowley simply can't follow him back there.

But then, I also believe the metas that have noticed that both plans are unsustainable. Aziraphale won't be able to change the system. And Crowley couldn't keep them running forever. They'll have to find the secret third option to be free to be together safely for eternity, and that's what season 3 is gonna be about.

So, to circle back to your question, I'm not okay lol. But I will be. I believe that this is one of the best stories ever told, and the more I understand Aziraphale and Crowley's characters, the more the ending makes sense, and the more intrigued I am about what else I might have missed that I'll need to rewatch to figure out. The kiss still breaks my heart, but I wouldn't change a thing about it because it makes sense and it played out perfectly for their situations and who they are. It's beautiful in a heartbreaking way.

And I do have a sense of peace about all of it. Even when I had just finished the episode, I knew it was all going to be okay because that divorce was literally about how much they love each other. Crowley loves Aziraphale unconditionally. Neither of them have much experience with that. So Aziraphale struggles to accept it, and he's scared to show it back because what if it costs them everything. But Crowley doesn't struggle like that. He's been left behind on earth, for now. But I have no doubt that as soon as his angel needs him, he'll be there.

Aziraphale will probably say he's sorry. And Crowley's just gonna give him a hug, tell him he loves him, that he's not gonna say I forgive you because neither of them need forgiveness. Not anymore.

It actually feels really good having written all this out like this, I've not talked about good omens much, even though I've been reblogging a lot. I'd love to talk to you more about all of it, if you want. And of course, I want to ask you how are YOU doing? What are your thoughts on all of this? How are you holding up? My ask box and my messages are always open!

[agirlwholovesrockstars]

out of touch part 3 ♡

OUT OF TOUCH PART 1 ♡

OUT OF TOUCH PART 2 ♡

OUT OF TOUCH PART 4 ♡

word count : it's a bit long so enjoy yourself here get comfortable

summary : after your first 2 days at school, everything changed, the moment you laid your eyes on Eddie but you're scared to give your heart and trust on someone again after traumatic experience at all of the schools you've been to and only if you knew how he feels for you.

IF ANY OF THESE WARNINGS TRIGGERING YOU PLEASE DON'T CONTINUE TO CONSUME ANY MEDIA

warnings : 18+ Eddie Munson x FEM!reader, the reader has a bullying trauma, language, no use of y/n but the reader is Amanda Jones, s*xual harassment (but don't worry, the reader defends herself cause' she's a strong woman), alcohol consumption, vi0lence, Jason Carver appearance sorry, mentions of bl00d, age gap the reader is (19) and Eddie is (21), yeah that's all

what to expect : stranger to lovers, fluff, angst, mutual pining drama, action, clueless idiots who can't make the first move lol

author note : I'm sorry if I took long to create the part 3 of the story! I hope you enjoyed and liked reading my very first fiction! 🥺🫶🏻

THE STORY IS SET IN 1987!

and I removed the part where Eddie DIDN'T DIE! 😤

You and Eddie both ran towards to the school's parking lot

In a rush, Eddie still helped you get in the passenger seat and he slams the door quickly as he runs to the driver's seat

even when you guys are in a hurry he always reminds you to put on your seatbelt

The street lights on the road at night the light hits your face everytime you pass them and the cool breeze from the window makes you feel complete and just right like this is the thing that you always wanted but somehow it feels so fast for you and it feels weird at the same time, maybe, Eddie's friends were right about you two, you guys were made for each other....

the sudden insecurity takes over you, he doesn't deserve someone like you, he deserves someone better, "what am I even doing?" you think to yourself at the thought that you finally already know what the truth is that, you really do like Eddie, you finally realize it after 2 days being with him, but you don't want to dive deeper into it because you might lose yourself.

You're overthinking right now, you pick your dry lips, "what if's" is all what you're thinking right now at the moment.

What if he gets tired of you?

What if you gave him your whole heart and he might just throw it all away?

What if he's just playing with you

What if he broke your trust

What if he is just like the same people that are mean to you at school

What if, what if, what if keeps repeating all over your head

You can't believe that this is happening, you've never think like this before and you never thought of it, maybe, it's because of the victim blaming and the confusion that bullying has done to you....

You we're so confident, happy, all smiles, you never worrying about everything but that all went down when that happened, you thought you can carry it, you thought you can handle it, you thought you can just ignore it, but now, you all bottled up and you can't take it anymore so you let it go....

you've been depressed, you have no energy anymore to go to school, you always been absent, but you try to attend as much as you can, you finish it all off so that you can finally go leave the fucking school that it broke your whole being...

It's so hard to recover after all you've been through those years, but you remind yourself that it's okay even it's just a little small and slow process... your parents might don't understand what's happening to you at first and you did have arguments before but it takes time for them to fully understand what's going on and you thank them for that and they apologize and they also realized the mistake that they did in the first place...

It's been tough to socialize again with everyone, new environment, new school, new faces, it's hard for you to trust someone now, so that you've been thinking a lot since you came into Hawkins High...

You're afraid that Eddie or anyone you met might done the same thing with you

This maybe a good time at first but soon you will never know what will happen, maybe tomorrow will be different, maybe this school might be the only exception as you thought yesterday....

You scratch your forehead as you take a deep breath and you shake your head after so you can forget all of those thoughts, you want to avoid them all, but, sometimes you can't help it, you're just scared that someone will put another trauma to you that it will take time to recover again....

2 days, the first 2 days went so perfectly and it give you goosebumps of how everything is going so well....

For what you didn't know after all of these thoughts going on inside your head

Eddie always take a chance to glance at you to see what you're doing...

every minute, every second that he can get to take a look at you...

he saw your habits and your eyes and your expression, he knows something is wrong but of course he doesn't want to ask you about it right away, he doesn't wanna disrespect your boundaries but he still wants to know what's going on of your sudden change of emotions

he puts his hand on your shoulder "hey, Amanda, are you doing okay?"

you jumped by his touch because of how deep your thoughts are- you let out a breathy "Oh" and you chuckled nervously

"Eddie, I'm fine, don't worry but thank you" you give him a slight sad smile

Eddie nods at you but he saw something in your eyes, a look that you're longing for care and belief for someone

You look away from his gaze as you look on the road sightseeing at the places passed

His eyes softens while he watches you, looking back at the road and looks back at you again as he can, he really wanted to know so badly so that he can help you like he just wants you to be okay with everything, but he is also afraid you that you might get mad at him for asking such personal stuff so he brushes off at the thought of that...

The drive to the Hideout might took a while to get there but you guys still made it right on time...

He stopped taking glances at you as he thinks to himself about you....

ever since Eddie met you, he saw your eyes and he can see how much you are in pain, you just hide it with a sweet smile, but he can still see that you're still, you, just grown and matured but nevertheless about everything has happened to you, even he didn't knew the whole story, he still loves you just the way you are, every imperfection and flaws and all he likes everything about you ever since he saw you for the first time in the school hallway, he wanna spill this feeling at you so bad but he also wants to wait and to say it in a right right time... he knows that you're carrying something inside you for too long and you're just shutting and avoiding everyone else who is trying to love and care for you... he just wants you to open up and not seeing you like this, it's killing him to see you like this...

He also feels the same way, he can feel the spark and he feels complete whenever you're with him... he smiles a little bit at the thought of that... as he parks up the van...

Eddie turns off the engine and he turns to you and grabs your hand

You're about to reach for the door handle but you felt Eddie's touch on your hand so you turn to look at him

"Not those eyes again" you think to yourself he looks at you with such concern

"Are you sure you still want to come?" eyes still glued to you as he try to analyze your face

"I- I'm sure, Eddie, I still want to go with you." you can't even keep a straight eye contact with him and you shift from your seat and you look away from him

"Ah- ah" he tuts and he holds your face to make you look at him "I need sure answers, sweetheart, if you're not feeling up for it, then it's okay, I won't feel bad." as he rubs his thumb on your cheeks

your stomach twirls on how he holds you, you just can't understand why you feel so safe with him

You stare at him for a while and you hold his arm where he places your hand on your cheek and you say "No, Eddie, I think- I'm just overwhelmed at everything, but I'm okay, I still wanna go with you."

He nods as he leans down to kiss your cheek again and it sends shiver down to your spine of how his lips touch your soft skin

He always loves to caught you off guard by his actions and he snickers of how you're still unfazed of what just happened

You blinked and you look down and look back up at him and give him a shy smile

"Let's go" he says

He helps you to get out of his van as always and you look at the place

There's disco lights everywhere from the inside and outside of the building and you can hear the loud music inside even though it sounds cloudy you can still recognize the song, Guns N' Roses Welcome To The Jungle is playing

Eddie checks his beloved van for the one last time and he appears beside you

He looks at you and he can see that you're observing the place

"So, what do you think?"

"Huh?"

he chuckles "the place?"

"Oh, uh- it looks fine to me."

"Really?" he fears that you might not like what he's doing like yeah he knows that you love also rock bands but he became anxious at the thought of you wanting to go home because you feel uncomfortable at the place

"Yeah" he sees your curious smile while still looking around the place so that made him feel a little bit better

"I bet you never been to a bar before?"

Your eyes still traveling around the place and you saw there's 2 guys drunk together as they struggle to balance themselves you giggle quietly but Eddie can hear it and he stares at you more longer and you saw people coming outside to take a cigarette break and lots of people coming in with a group of friends laughing as they enter the bar

you look back at him and nod

"It's your first time, are you nervous?"

"No, I don't, I'll be fine." You reassure him

"Okay then, um- can I ask you something?"

"yeah, sure, what is it?" you respond without looking at him

"Can I hold your hand?" he asks with a hesitant tone but he really wants to

"What?" a bolt out of the blue runs down to blood and veins and it made your hands feel cold

He laughs as he taken you by surprise as he reaches for your hand and he intertwines both of your fingers and you did the same and you both walk towards to the bar

"I'll take that as a yes." Eddie says to you while you're still dazed of his actions

You kept looking down at your hand while he holds it, you felt butterflies on your stomach as he tightens his grip on you and he knows that you're looking at it and you keep looking down and you smile to yourself and you blushed

of course, Eddie always notices it as he chortled he turns to you and he teases you gesturing to your cheeks

Your face become even more redder as you put on a smirk on your face you roll your eyes playfully and you push him on his chest

He laughes even harder as he continues to tease you

You remove your hand on him and you cross both of your arms and you turn away from him and your cheeks is red as a tomato and you're avoiding his eye contact as he try to tease you more and more as he chases your eyes and he always appears infront of you everytime you try to look away from him

He jumped and chuckled with his hands throw up in the air and he plays with it to annoy you more

"Oh my god, please stop!" you uncross both of your arms in frustration

"Oh my god, please stop!" he mocks you with a same tone that you did and he lets out an evil laugh

Your face don't stop reddening and you shoved both of hands in your face in humiliation

You removed your hands away from your face and you glare at Eddie with a smug on his face "You're getting on my nerves, Munson."

"Aw, are you vexing me now?"

"Yes, oh yes, absolutely, you're making my blood boil."

Eddie can see at your expression that you're really really upset at him and oh yeah he loves when he does that to you and he also loves that you both have the same temper and he can see your forehead scrunching and your eyes filled with irritation and it looks like you're ready to slap him off the face

Eddie leans down on you and he pinches your cheek harder that it made you hiss at how harder he squishes it

"You're so cute when I successfully annoy you." he laughs as he runs away from you with his mouth open wide to make you chase after him

You massage your cheek with circling motions and you shouted out loud to him "that fucking hurt, Eddie! you're going to pay for that!"

"Yeah, yeah, you will! if you can catch me!" Eddie shrugs as he stops running for a minute

Eddie bends over to hold his stomach from laughing too hard he sees you like a kid, he watches you stomping on the ground and he imagines that both of you are in a cartoon show, he can see that your face blowing up like kettle that he can picture a smoke coming out of both your ears.

You ran so fast towards him that it made Eddie flinched as he chuckles breathlessly he laughs of how serious you are chasing after him

Marlon the bartender at the bar while wiping the counter, he looks up and he sees the both of you running around the all over the place

He snorts as he hears you "You're so infuriating, Eddie!" You complained cause you can't catch him on the other side of the room

"Aw, that's that mean that I won? princess?"

You shake your head ignoring that it made your heart flutters at the nickname "No, you fucking don't that's so unfair!"

You continue to chase after him as he almost trips to the ground

You laughed as he looks back at you he flips you off until he halts his tracks as he sees his bandmates already arrived in there watching the both of you playing around the bar

You stopped infront of him and you furrow your brows as you follow to where his looking at and you turn around and you saw his bandmates and you let out a breathy "Oh" and you giggle catching up your breath as you put both of your hands on your knees

"They're ridiculously so cute." Gareth exclaims to Jeff

Jeff nods and waves at the both of you playfully wiggles his fingers teasing you both

He looks back at Gareth with a smirk on his face "Are you seeing this shit? they just met 2 days ago and they act like they've been together before, Eddie needs to act up like literally right now." he gestures to the both of you

Gareth agrees while he pouts his bottom lip raising both of his eyebrows and he nods his head aggressively

Eric appears beside them the one member you haven't met yet and you look at him with curiosity and you stand up straight and you look back at Eddie

He's already looking at you and he says "uh- yeah, there's one more member his name is Eric, he's the one that graduated first." he shrugs

"Oh" you both walk towards to them

"How's the chase? Who won?" Gareth grins at the both of you and Jeff snickers to the flushed cheeks that Eddie is having

You grin back at Gareth and he raise his eyebrows at you and you look back at Eddie with a smirk on your face

Eddie is taken a back of your expression as he pulled his brows together as he look back at his friends raising his both of his shoulders

all of them shrugged and Jeff throws his hand up in defense

You take the opportunity of him being distracted

You elbowed him in the stomach that made him cough and you made a loud smack to his forehead

Gareth closes his fist puts over his mouth and said a loud "Ohhhh" and Jeff laughs as he throws his head back and Eric's jaw dropped of what just happened

"OW- JESUS H. CHRIST!" Eddie yells that made people stare at all of you and he coughs as he glares at you

"What the hell is that for?"

You look at him with a sassy expression and you raise your eyebrow to him

"Payback." You say it with such confidence with your hand over your hip

Jeff laughs and he claps his hands and he says "Alright, alright, feisty girl, you done your job and I'm proud of you, as much as I want to watch more." He glares back at Eddie

Gareth and Eric smirks at each other as they communicate with their minds

He huffs while recovering from what you did to him "Dude." with his hands gestures in annoyance

"Now, let me take you at the back stage before you could do so much harm to him." Jeff says it when a sarcastic tone as he pouts at Eddie while he flutter his eyes at him

Eddie shakes his head "Piss off, Jeff!"

Jeff looks at you and you both shrugged

At that moment you knew that Jeff and you will get along together because you both love to tease Eddie the same way he did.

Jeff walks towards you offering his arm to hold out for you and he say with an accent "Milady?"

"Well, of course my good sir."

You both chuckled and you both glare at Eddie and you wink at him teasingly and you say "See ya later, rockstar!"

He rolls his eyes with a hint of smile in them he watches you as you both and Jeff enters at the backstage, he can still hear the echoes of laughter from you two.

Eddie look back at his two friends left and Gareth with a smirk is still on him and Eric with a confusion on his face but in a good way

Eric can't hold it any longer as he still continues to wonder why Eddie has a girl with him, it's not that he doesn't like it but he never sees him having one and he is now dying of curiosity as he groans both of his friends

"Can someone please update me of what's going?!" Eric exclaims as he nudges Gareth's arm so harshly

"What?!" Gareth's face falls and he turns to look back at Eric with annoyance "Well, it's not my fault that you've been away for college!"

"Education is important to me, you guys know that, but you could at least tell me over the phone!"

Gareth and Eddie sighs

"Look is not like she's been here for a long time now we just met 2 days ago." Eddie says while looking back at Eric with a apologetic smile

"I'm sorry? Come again?"

"She just came to the school 2 days ago-"

Eric cuts him off by saying "Yeah, yeah I heard that, the way you said 2 DAYS AGO just freaking blew my mind." he gestures both of his hands over the sides of his head to make a mind-blowing action

Gareth laughs and he agrees with Eric "Exactly, man! This is why I'm so excited to see you again because we need to wake the fuck up of his clueless dumb brain!" Gareth says with such passion as he moves back up and down with frustration

Eddie scoffed "you guys have no idea what you're talking about."

Gareth and Eric looks back at each other and darts back to Eddie

"Yeah, right." Eric nods sarcastically

Gareth shakes his head and puts the finger on his temple at the thought of Eddie acting cool not admitting that he's truly have feelings for you

he says "they're literally falling over each other everytime they're together and I'm surprised they're not even official yet." he put both of his hands inside of his pants pockets as he sighs lowering his back leaning to the both of his friends

Gareth looks down in disappointment and Eric loses his mind of what he just heard

"Oh, you're going to be fucking kidding me! right now, Eddie?!?" Eric shouted at loud at Eddie

"Wha- what's wrong, calm down." Eddie startled as he stutters at his friends sudden exclaims

"This" Eric points to him "This isn't like you" he gestures you from the top to the bottom

"You always been so honest like you always said the truth if you like someone like literally! You just said it right away! out of all of us you're the only one has the guts to tell someone how you feel and now you're so worked up about some girl that you met 2 days ago?!? fucking 2 days ago?!? and hell- that is different everything about you look right now is different." Eric finished as he crosses both of his arms

Eddie stared at him with guilt coming over his eyes

Eric's words went straight to his chest because all of what he just said is painfully true

He remembers the time last year, all of them having a bet whose going to confess at their crushes

Back in 1986

Eddie is the only one confessed his crush to Chrissy before

Chrissy Cunningham is sweet, kind, pretty cheerleader popular girl, the queen of Hawkins High

They already knew each other back in middle school, Eddie couldn't believe that his crush was in the same room cheering with his band performing for a talent show... Chrissy realization flashes back in her eyes as she remembers the band's name "Corroded Coffin" she apologize to Eddie that she didn't recognize him at first she said that he looks so different before, Eddie said it was okay and he understands why...

His hair was buzzed and he doesn't have those "sweet" tattoos yet...

Chrissy even mentioned that he plays guitar and he still does until now, Eddie made her laugh and that's enough for him to see her liked that it was full bliss to him... after that Eddie confess his feelings to her...

Even though Chrissy didn't reciprocate her feelings to Eddie, they're not mutual and Eddie understands and respects that...

Chrissy expects him to be mad at her but Eddie doesn't mind it at all and he still continues to treat her like he always does, Chrissy is just in awe on how Eddie is being so nice to her and that's the reason why she changes her perspective on other people and she also realizes that Jason is manipulating her and clouding her thoughts with judgement that Jason has thought to her.

And that also made her to breakup to the son of bitch bully school jock Jason Carver... Eddie made her realize her worth that Jason doesn't deserve someone like her...

Eddie finds out about that and he lets out a smug as he sees Jason crying like a kid throwing tantrums as Chrissy leaves him in the school's parking lot, he can't believe that Jason behaves like that when he acts all tough at school...

Chrissy focus on her studies after graduating senior high school she went straight to college and she takes on becoming a fashion designer someday

Jason on the other hand, he haven't changed still being a jerk to everyone as he struggles to earn money for his college his parents are in real debt, sucks to be him...

Eddie and Chrissy remained friends till this day

Eric is one of the realest friend that Eddie has ever had in his life, he's like the big brother of the friendship

Unlike Jeff and Gareth are the most unserious ones, but they're still decent and very understanding to the group..

Yeah, he can be fun and silly but when times get tough, he will always be there for his friends and he listens to them

Eric remembered back when they're in junior high school, he's a freshman, he never lets anyone bully him, that's the reputation that he has back then, if you mess with him you're doomed

But deep inside all he wanted is to have friends, he was all alone, until Eddie introduced himself to him, Eric couldn't forget the day that Eddie, Jeff and Gareth welcomed him to their club and they became bestfriends for life

That time in his life was so special to him and it's also nice to think about that he was known for such a rebellious kid at school but that didn't stop Eddie to become friends with him...

Obviously, Eddie is the most purest of them all, the kind-hearted human being ever, he is not like what the people been talking about him at school, he can be scary and mean when it's needed...

People are afraid of him or maybe even interacted with him, they would just ran off with his presence and he would just laugh and shake his head off and he just got used to it at the way that he's being treated at school

But Eric knew that Eddie wished people have different perspective at him

"they judge me before they even know me." Eddie thinks to himself

Eddie didn't like bullies at all, he despises them, he likes to teases them all the time but Jason is the only one who is brave enough to face him which Eddie thought it's so silly to watch him act like he's the hero to the school bullying the so-called "freaks" as he calls them

Steve, Dustin, Mike, and Lucas loved Eddie because of how open minded he was, he never sticks to what other people say about him, he never cares about what opinions people have on him, if some of his friends wants to do something new, he lets them, he is so caring and understanding person which all of his friends wished they knew, they knew how good hearted Eddie is...

But sadly... they just don't give him a chance...

Eddie didn't mind it all, he tried so many times to fit in, but he couldn't, that's why he gave up trying to be someone that he's not, so he just continue to be himself...

That's what Eddie sees in you, he sees himself in you, you also left the world like he does and you both have in common in literally everything...

In music, fashion, you both have the same temper, doesn't give a fuck about everyone thinks to the both of you, you both hated mean people until....

All of that changed when you both met, 2 days ago...

You and Eddie have the same thoughts that you both couldn't believe that you can think of something like that....

You both we're never insecure, you both never get scared easily, you both never get nervous when you with each other...

All of this feelings are new to you and to himself

But why this is happening?! is it true?! is it a Destiny?!

Eddie sighed "Alright, Eric, fine you got me! I already asked her out on the first day and I respect her decision that she wanted us to get to know each other first, but she said she would love to come with me, soon" he says with uncertainty in his eyes

Eric saw it, he knew Eddie all of his life, he knows, he just knows it

"Oh, boy"

"What now"

"You thought she likes someone else, don't you?"

Gareth eyes widened as he looks back at Eddie

Eddie stumbles as he says "I- I don't know- mm- maybe she is." he stutters

"I don't think so, dude." Gareth says it's so unlike him to be this serious but when Eddie sees him acts like this way is no joke

"I see the way she looks at you and the way you look at her, I've never seen anyone looks like that at each other." He added

Eric looks at Gareth and darts his eye back to Eddie with confusion on his eyes

"Why'd you think something like that?" Eric asks with eagerness waiting for his answer

Eddie can't even look at Eric in the eye as he stutters to respond to him again

"I think it's because of Steve, Steve Harrington, she's a childhood bestfriend." Gareth says

Eric glares at Eddie with displeased expression across of his face

"What?! that was the reason?! Steve is a good guy, why do you think of him something like that?! why do you assume it? I thought you trust him?" Eric says while ignoring the fact that you both crossed the same paths together being friends with Steve and he thought of Destiny as he trying to look at Eddie eyes

Eddie looks back up at Eric and he says "I know, I know, I don't know what came over me ever since I met her, man, I couldn't think clearly, I know I can handle rejections before but I don't think I can handle it, if she rejected me." he says it with a shaking voice

Eric and Gareth raise both of their eyebrows

Just that alone, Eric and Gareth knew that Eddie is truly and deeply in love with you...

"You know, you should talk to Steve." Gareth says

"What?"

"He's your bestfriend, right? I'm sure he'll understand it like talk to him of how you feel about her."

"I second to that" Eric added while shrugs at Gareth

"What if, he saids something that-

"But what if he's not?"

You and Steve ever since when you we're kids back then until now are simply just platonic friendship, you haven't even talked to him yet but you regret your actions back then after what Nancy said to you and she probably didn't even mean to hurt your feelings but it made you realize how much you changed back then and you feel sorry and bad for Steve and you will make it up to him soon... even though Steve it doesn't matter to him of what you did back then all he ever wanted is to be there for you and listen to you...

"What if, they're just friends?! you should talk to him, so you can have a peace of mind! not like you looking a miserable piece of crap." Eric gestures to Eddie's stressed expression

Gareth laughs while holding his chest

Eddie glares at Gareth

"Wait- dude, he's right, stop assuming something and find it out for yourself!" Gareth holds his hands out in surrender

Eddie lets out a big sigh and Eric walks beside him and pats his back

"You'll be okay and I know she's only have eyes for you, I can feel it and I'm always right."

"You think so?"

Gareth leans down "We know so."

Eddie looks at Eric and Gareth with hopeful eyes and a smile

Gareth leans back as he looks over at Eddie shoulder squinting his eyes as he heard someone's voice familiar entering the bar

Eric and Eddie furrowed their brows at Gareth until they heard the same thing as they turn around

"What the fuck"

"Is he fucking serious?"

"No, fucking way."

Jason with his 2 friends entered the bar, he looks horrible like he hasn't slept the whole day, shouting out loud while he walks inside the bar, his friends laughing as they steal drink from someone's hand and smashing the glass down to the floor...

Eddie glares at Marlon as he already watching Jason entering his bar

Marlon looks back at Eddie where he leaves the counter and walk towards him

"Don't worry, son, I'll handle this."

"You better." Eddie says it with a serious tone as he watches Marlon walks over to Jason

Gareth and Eric looks back at each other with their eyes flaming with anger as they try to control it

"Is there a problem here?" Marlon asks

"Oh, no- sir, there's no problem here."

2 of his friends laughs with a mischievous look at their faces

Marlon glares at them while he scrunches up his forehead

"We promise, old man, we're here to drink, not to cause any trouble." Jason says throwing his hands up in defense

Marlon doesn't trust them but he is still kind and lets them in but he looks at his security guards giving them a warning to look after them and they nod

Marlon scoffed "I'll let you have your fun but don't fuck around with my bar and the other guests in here, alright?"

Jason chuckles "Yeah, sure, whatever you say, man" he says it sarcastically

Marlon walks away while shaking his head heading back to his counter until Eddie stops him holding his arm

Marlon looks at Eddie with anger on his eyes "What did he say?"

"He said they'll just have a drink."

He huffed "and you believe that?"

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Kick them out!"

"It will just make the scenario worse, you know that he will never leave."

Eddie sigh in frustration as he looks down

"Kid, you got a show to do, don't mind them."

Eddie nods as he lets Marlon walks away from him

Eric and Gareth breathes heavily and they all look at Jason who is already looking at them

Jason raises his glass to them, giving them a backhanded smile and he takes a sip of his drink with his eyes flashes with anger

Eddie clenches his jaw as he flips him off while Eric and Gareth stares at him intensely

Jason laughs while he watches the three walk away heading towards at the backstage

"Oh, he wants to make me the bad guy, huh, let's see about that." Jason mumbles to himself

Jeff gives you tour of their dressing room

you expected to be messy and not so interesting but holy shit-

You look all over their tables like ones that you've seen in the movies and obviously you recognized which one is from Eddie's and you smile at it

Jeff saw your awestruck expression while your eyes still roaming around

He chuckles to the sight of it as he walks beside you

"Uh- hey, Amanda can I ask you something?"

You turn to look at him noticing a curious expression from his face

You tilt your head at him and nod and you say

"Fire away, Jeff"

"Do you like Eddie?"

You blink rapidly and you avoid looking at his eyes

he giggled and he holds your hand

"Hey, hey, don't worry about it, Amanda, I knew it since I saw you for the first time at the cafeteria."

You look at him for a sec and you shake your head and look down

"Oh, god" you throw your head back and sighed

You can't lie to him now and he already caught you

"I don't even know- why I-" you stuttered you breathe deeply

Jeff nods at you with eagerness as he waits for you to answer

"I've never felt this to anyone before and I don't know what to do." You swallowed harshly

Jeff can see it in your eyes and the tone of your voice- he can feel that something is pulling you away to finally tell him about your feelings but he knows it's unnecessary for you to think something like that and he knows Eddie.

Eddie is his best pal, even he's a real pain in the ass to him sometimes but he knows when Eddie loves someone he truly means it and he will always kept his word.

"Whenever what's been troubling with you, I just wanna let you know that Eddie would never ever hurt you, he would kill himself if he does something to hurt your feelings." Jeff paused as put his hand on your shoulder

"I hope you both get your shit together sooner or later." he jokes lightly

It made you chuckle "Thanks, Jeff." you give him a grateful smile

"You're always welcome." he pats your shoulder as you both look at the front door of the dressing room opened

both of you and Jeff furrowed your brows as you saw all of them with a tense expression from their faces

You walk towards to Eddie as he looks back at you he calms down at a bit when you cupped his cheeks and you say "What's the problem, Eddie?"

"What's going on?" Jeff asked them as he glares at everyone

even you felt that Eddie calmed down but you can still see his eyes, his piercing eyes filled with fury coming right out of them

Gareth sighs in exasperation and he says "Jason and his thugs are in the bar."

"What?!" Jeff exclaimed and now his face looks the same with his band

You look back at Jeff and Gareth watching them grab a beer

Meanwhile Eric sits down at a couch as he tries to calm down

You look at them all with concern and confusion and you glance at Eddie still at rage

He looks back at you and somehow his gaze softens at you everytime he takes a look at you

He holds your arm where you hold his cheeks and he looks down and he sighed as he try to explain the situation

"Jason Carver, is the one who gave us fucking terror to our highschool life." he scoffed

You nod at him and you rub your thumb to his cheeks

"I just hate it whenever you do to them, they won't ever stop tormenting your life."

"I can relate to that."

Marlon came into the dressing room saying they're up in 10 minutes

Everyone gets up and get ready

Before you remove your hand from his cheek and you said to him "just pretend that he isn't there, Eddie, don't let your night ruin because of him." You let out a small smile

He smiles back at you and he lets his hand rests at your hold and he closes his eyes for a moment

Your heartbeats even more faster as you watch him and you can feel yourself lifting like you were on a cloud nine

You can't even resist yourself to lean down and kiss him on the cheek

Eddie startled at your action as he jumps back into reality remembering that he is in a dressing room with his friends and you

ignoring the fact what you just did infront of his friends- you just giggled and you told him "I'll be in the front watching you guys play."

Gareth, Jeff and Eric all of them glare at each other with a knowing look and they smirk at Eddie

Eddie flushing up at the moment can't even look at you straight in the eyes with his lips parted and he darts his eyes at his friends

you and the boys noticing the red cheeks on him

He rolls his eyes with a smile on the side and give his friends a disapproving look

"alright, alright," Gareth throw his hand up in defense

Jeff flutter his eyes at Eddie teasingly and Eric wiggles his brows at him

You look back at them and you laughed

"Okay, fine, I'll leave- so you won't feel embarrassed anymore." You shake your head

Eddie face became even more red and he clears his throat

You removed your hand from his cheek and Eddie already misses your touch and he watches you leave and you give him a blow kiss

Eddie smirks at you

Gareth whistles while he watches the scene from his reflection in the mirror

"Our boy is done for." Jeff while fixing his outfit

"and you're telling me that she's likes someone else?! are you that fucking blind?!" Eric gestures to the door from where you walked out and grabs his guitar

Eddie must've flipping his friends off at this moment but all of what they just said to him is all blurry to his ears

He is locked in you, he had fallen so hard that he can't even breathe, he is still unfazed....

He shakes his head off and turns around to his friends with a warning glare and cursing all of them and he walks away

"Man, he is so fucked up with Amanda." Gareth says it while he couldn't believe what just strucked at Eddie to you...

You feel like you needed a drink so you walked towards at the counter and you sat down

Marlon walks over to you and he asks "could I get you anything, doll?"

"um- yeah just one bottle of Budweiser please."

He nods and grabs the beer from fridge and removes the cap off using a bottle opener

He puts it down on the counter and you grab it and take a sip of it

Marlon wanted to ask something but he doesn't want to pry but he is just curious why you're with the boys, especially Eddie...

"Uh- are you Eddie's girlfriend?" Marlon hesitant tone coming out from his voice

"Oh, no, no, we're just friends." You respond as you shift from your seat

"You looked good together though, just saying." He chuckles while he prepares another drink for the customer

"Why does everyone keep saying that?!" You exclaimed at him while you slam your hands down on the counter

Marlon laughs while shaking his head "I'm sorry, I haven't introduced myself to you, I'm Marlon, I am friends with Eddie's uncle since highschool."

"Oh, wow, that's so cool! I'm Amanda by the way." You waved at him

"pleased to meet you, Amanda- so uh- yeah, I'm the one who influenced that kid in music and I remember him saving up his money so he could get his dream guitar"

You smile and you nod at him to continue

"I wanna teach him but he is so stubborn that he said can learn by himself.... I gotta admit even he is so difficult sometimes, he's a true artist he takes this very seriously."

You giggled "Tell me about it." You start

"He always gets mad when I try to carry my stuff to school or going outside from his van." You scoffed and you raise your bottle to drink it

Marlon crossed his arms and he leans down at you

You lean backwards and you eye him in confusion

"What's the matter?"

"He likes you"

You roll your eyes and you look down at your bottle and you sighed "I know"

Marlon leans back with a questioning look "huh"

You look back at him and you blinked rapidly "I know ever since I came to the school 2 days ago."

"Damn"

You laughed "yeah, damn"

"Then why you guys aren't dating yet?"

You scratch your head not knowing what to say "He already asks me out on my first day and I told him that I want us to get to know each first, I- I told him I would to come with him- I don't know, I guess I'm scared."

He uncrosses his arm and put his hands on the counter to lean down on you

"My dear, you have nothing to be afraid of, Eddie is a good kid, yeah he can be really annoying but I can see it.... it's something."

You eyes light up to his words and you smile at him

"And I'll tell you a secret, he may acts that he doesn't like any other music genres, but his most beloved song?"

You grin at him waiting for his answer

"He worships the song I've Had The Time Of My Life."

You bursted laughing "No kidding?" you smirk at a idea that pops into your head and you saw a jukebox across on the other side of the counter...

"No- I don't! He always denies it." He chuckles

You suddenly turn around and the guys are on the stage, they greet everyone and they introduced themselves everyone cheered on them

Marlon was right, he takes this simple show like he was performing at a concert like a rockstar and you're very impressed at his stage presence, he owns the stage, he belongs in there...

You screamed and clap your both of your hands as you shout everyone names in the stage

All of them laughed and smile as they turn their heads at you

You wave at them happily and Eddie looking at you with his heart beating in such full joy seeing you infront of the audience

"We have a special guest here tonight, my darling... Amanda." Eddie says and points at you with a wide smile

You blushed at his words and the crew put on a spotlight in you and you keep saying "no, no, no" and everyone's attention is at you right now but there's nothing you could do so you just nod and wave and smile at everyone shyly

Marlon applaused and you look back at him with a smirk on his face

You can hear all of them saying "aww" and "oooh"

Jason saw you on the other side of the bar thank god he's far away from you but he had already made a plan to his head and he looks back at his friends with a look that says something.... something bad....

"I would like to dedicate to this song to Amanda." he winks at you and you shake your head in humiliation

Marlon holds both of your shoulders and shakes it playfully and teasing you and you just keep telling him to "Stop" while you're laughing

They start playing Sunshine Of Your Love by Cream

Your eyes widen of how beautiful Eddie's voice is

You and his eyes are locked in together he doesn't try to tear away his eyes from you while he's singing to you

You take a gulp from your beer nervously and Eddie smirks at your action

after a few songs they play, you applauded very loudly and keep screaming at them

while they're singing their last song, Jason sits beside you unknowingly that he is the guy that Eddie and his friends are talking about

Jason's eyes trails from your chest down to your thighs

You're wearing a AC/DC bandshirt and a black short skirt just above your knee with stockings and black boots

You feel eyes looking at you and you turn to look at him "Can I help you?"

Jason removed his eyes from your body

Your stomach drops as you already felt something that this man have bad intentions with you

"I just wanna be friends with you" he touches your thigh and you push him away

"What the fuck?! get your hands off me!"

"Oh, come on, I know you want it" as he tries to reach for your thighs

Your eyes flashes with anger and you slap him in the face

"stay the fuck away from me, get lost!" You yelled at him

Jason glares at you breathing heavily as he leans closer to you

Marlon heard your voice and he came outside from the storage room runs back quickly to his counter

"I thought we had an agreement."

You're still mad but your eyes flicker with questions as you look back at Marlon

Jason chuckles "oh yeah, right, but remember, I'm not done with you yet."

He walks away back to his table

You shake your head and you finished drinking your beer putting it down on the counter afterwards

"Hey, I'm sorry about that- are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine, thank you." you sigh of relief and you smile at him

Marlon nods at you and tells you just call him whenever you need something and you hum in agreement

You look back at Eddie as you watch him sighing in exhaustion from performing, his forehead is sweaty but he still looks amazing

Jeff notices the sudden change of your expression and he nudges Eddie

Eddie looks back at him and Jeff points to you

Eddie's eyes flashes in worry and concern and as he remembers that Jason is in the bar, as he tries to understand your face

"I'm okay" you waved them off to get back to what their doing

He shows you a small smile and nod at you and he travel his eyes to Jason drinking a lot and he notices something is not right to him... It looks like he already done something bad to you... judging by the way he aggressively raises his bottle...

The show is over and Eddie and his band bid farewell to the audience and a big applause while they're walking out of the stage

You removed yourself from the seat and you ran towards Eddie and you hug him and you say "you guys are fantastic! I love it!"

Eddie tries to not stick himself to you as if you already feeling his sweat on you but you didn't care and he doesn't want you to get dirty from his sweat and you frown by his action

"Wait- no- let me go change- I just don't want you- okay, fine you can hug me." he protests but he couldn't do anything so hugs you back

You let out a wide smile at him

Gareth, Jeff and Eric admiring you both from afar

You and Eddie and the gang walk towards to the dressing room and Eddie asks you to wait outside for a minute and he promises you he'll be back and you nod at him

A sudden bang that came from the back door and you gasp and look around you saw the same guy that harassed you but before you can knock at the guys dressing room and call for help

He covers your mouth with his hands and holds you tightly that you can't remove yourself from him as he drags you away outside

You saw the two guys locking the backdoor and they ran towards to you and they grab and carry your legs so that you can't fight them off and try to escape

Eric heard something from outside and he opens the door and he looks out for you and you're not there anymore

"Eddie?"

"Yeah?"

"Where is she?"

"What?" Eddie rans quickly at the door and he look out for you and he can't see you everywhere as he tries to look for you and he walk towards to the backdoor and it won't open

Eric walked behind him and Eddie looks back at him with a knowing look and all of them know that Marlon don't lock the backdoor that early so they already know what's up

Jeff and Gareth walked outside from the dressing room as they tried to understand what's going on

"I'll get Marlon" wastes no time as he tries to run as fast as he can to him

Jeff and Gareth are sharp they picked up and knew what's going on

"Me and Gareth will look for her at the front entrance." Eddie nods at Jeff with worry flashes before his eyes

He watched them running off and he tries to open the backdoor, he kept kicking on it as he felt finally opening

Jason and his thugs panicked as they tried to put you to the car

You managed to elbowed Jason's stomach and the two guys loosens their grip on your legs and you shouted "Eddie!"

Eddie heard your voice as his expression from worry to a complete wrath as he can feel your horrified emotion

The door peeked through a little while keeps banging it and he can finally see what's going on outside

Eric didn't care to run over the side of the counter instead he jumps off over at the counter as he looks for Marlon in the storage room

Marlon furrowing his brows at the boy who try to catch up his breath

"What's the matter, boy?"

"Amanda, she's in danger"

Marlon eyes widened and he is so pissed off as he walks away from the storage room with Eric

Jeff and Gareth keep looking for the guards and they finally found them brutally beatened at the men's room as they frightened at the thought of your being, they're afraid of what might happen to you

"I'll call Hopper" Gareth says he picks up the phone

"I'll look for her outside" Jeff saids and Gareth nods at him

Jeff can't open the front door as he tried many times to open it but he doesn't stop as he tries harder and harder as it finally opened

You dodge at the two boys trying to knock you out and you kick them at their sensitive part so that they can't move to try and grab you again

you glare back at Jason

"You seriously have no idea who you're dealing with." You told him giving him a warning look

Jason winced at the pain that you did to his stomach "trying hard to get huh? you're just like any other bitches that I've met."

"Oh, you just met your worst nightmare." You stare at him intensely in the eyes and you reached down for the wood that is heavy enough and he loses his cool as he watch you

"Wait- woah- wait!" he stammers and you ignore his objections and you hit him right in the face that his own blood splatters everywhere loosing a tooth from his mouth

His friends we're alarmed by your actions as they try to move away from you

Jeff founds you and punches the other guy and keeps beating him repeatedly as the guy can't defend himself anymore and the other one rans away

You had enough, you want justice for what's happened to you, so you chase after him still holding the wood that you hit with Jason

You hit him in the legs and falls down in pain and you grab him by the collar "I hope this is a lesson to you that girls are not some toys that you would fuck around and belittle us afterwards- we are human beings for christ sakes!" You screamed at him in exasperation and you push him down on the ground as he grunts

Marlon, Eddie, Gareth and Eric are finally outside as they laid their eyes on the scenario

Eric's eyes flashes with shock as he couldn't believe that you handled yourself quite well as he is so petrified they might be too late but here you are- defended yourself

"Oh my god" Gareth says while putting his hand over his head

Eddie saw you shaking with such anger while still holding the wood and Jeff falls back down on the side while the guy he just beaten up struggling to breathe

Jason kept wailing in pain as he tries to stop the bleeding from his face

Marlon helped Jeff get up takes him over at the bench to sit down and grabs a first aid kit

Eddie walks up behind you and he called your name and you turn around to look at him still upset with horror in your eyes as you think he might be spooked of what you just did but instead he brings you into his arms and hugs you tightly

You dropped the wood on the ground and your body calms down and you melt and collapsed to his touch and you breakdown crying on his chest and you hugged him back

"I- I was so scared- Eddie." You hiccuped from your tears and that breaks his heart "Shh- I'm so worried about you- you just did what you had to do." he says while he rubs your back your hands

Eddie walks over to your side still hugging you and both of you walks towards at the others

"You got a lot of nerve to do such a thing, Jason!" Gareth exclaimed at him while Jason is still perplexed by his wound and the situation

"Jason?!" You halt your tracks of what you just heard "he's Jason?!" You point at him

All of them nod at you

you huffed and you lean down at Jason "If you try to hurt me again or any of my friends I wouldn't think twice of killing you instantly."

Jason couldn't even look at you straight in the eyes as his words caught up from his throat

The guys are intimidated by tone of your voice as they look at Eddie

He blinks and shrugs at them behind you and he is still very surprised what you're capable of

Hopper arrived at the scene with 2 more police cars behind him and walks out of car and drops his cigarette on the ground

He stopped walking towards them as he saw everyone hurt and in pain

"What the hell happened here?!?"

Marlon walked over to Hopper and tried to explain everything

"Jason tried to kidnapped Amanda with his goons and maybe even-" he can't even bring himself to continue the last word

but Hopper already knows it just by looking at Marlon's eyes "Oh fuck no-" while he shakes his head

Eddie and his friends are worried they might put you in jail even though they know that you did the right thing and they can trust Hopper but still he wanted to make sure that you're innocent and a victim

Eddie called out to Hopper "Please- don't do anything to Amanda, she only made a self-defense to herself- this fucking prick started it." He points at Jason and he holds you even tightly afraid that he you might disappear from his side

Gareth, Jeff and Eric starts raving and begging that you only did what you had to do and they starts rambling uncontrollably

"Hold on- guys" Hopper raises his hand up signalling them the boys to stop talking and he looked at you in the eyes

He sees your eyes stricken with fear, regret and anger

He sighs "I can see that." he starts "and I believe you"

He looked at Jason with a pointed look as he shouted "if you don't stop with this bullshit, I will fucking lock you up forever, Carver, you should be ashamed of yourself!"

Your eyes filling up with tears as you say "Thank you" is the only thing you croaked out

Hopper nods at you and shows you a sad smile

"Thank you so much, Jim" Marlon says while he shakes his hand

Hopper walks over to where Jason is sitting still hisses at the pain "That's what you fucking get for disrespecting girls, young man."

You chuckled at his words while your tears coming down from you cheeks

Hopper is tired of putting back Jason on the police headquarters again and listening to his oblivious parents that keep saying that he's not doing anything wrong but he's gonna change that once and for all cause he's done enough damage to the town

The policemen grabbed the two beaten boys and cuffed their hands put them behind of the car and Hopper nods at them as he watch them drove away

You ran over to Jeff his hands were bruised from punching too hard on the guy

"Ugh" you exclaimed as you take a glimpse over to his wounded covered in blood knuckles

"Oh- god- I'm so sorry, Jeff you didn't have to do that."

Jeff chuckles slightly "I just wanted to help and I'm glad that I went on time."

You nod at him with a sympathetic smile

Marlon finished cleaning and disinfecting his hands and put a bandage over them

Marlon stands up and goes over to you with guilt coming out from his eyes "Amanda, it's my fault, I should've taken the boys advice earlier, I'm so sorry I didn't meant for this to happen, if only I followed what they told me to do this wouldn't happen.'

You look back up at him and you admire his consideration at the tone of his voice

Your eyes are filled with warmth and you hold his shoulder "Marlon, it's okay, don't ever blame yourself, I'm fine and all of us didn't know that this is going to happen, don't worry about it."

Marlon swallows thickly and he nods at you with a sad smile

"Uh- guys if it's okay with you I'm headed at the diner? I think I need a coffee." Gareth says as he removes himself against the wall

"Wait- I'm coming with you." You say as you pulled Eddie's hand with you and Jeff runs behind you

"Eric are you coming?" Jeff asks him

Eric still talking to Hopper and he looks at Jeff "yeah, I'll be there in a minute."

Eric tells Hopper that you're a new student at Hawkins High and it confuses him why he hasn't met you before but Eric further explains the reason why he told the same story that Gareth and Jeff already told him about you- being Steve's childhood bestfriend, you and your family moved away and then came back, you being a Jones- Hopper has no idea who you are except from your parents he is familiar with them- it's kinda odd for him that you're not as popular as the other rich kids it's not that it's bad it's different for him and that got his attention

Hopper saw your hands splattered in Jason's blood and judging by your behavior, he knows you're a upright person and for some reason you already gained his trust on you...

You guys walked inside the diner and your body is still trembling after what happened earlier, Eddie's arms goes over your shoulder as he tries to calm you down and you headed to sit down at the table

Eric enters the diner in about a minute since you guys arrived inside

Eddie sits down across from you and you sat down on the other side and he holds both of your hands and rubs his thumb on the back of your hand

Your heart still palpitates at the scenario earlier as your mind starts to replaying the scene over and over inside your head as you began to weep again

You remove your hands away from Eddie and you snuck yourself down putting your arms on the table and lean your head down on it...

Eddie panicked by your actions and lick his lips together as he tries to think to make you feel better- he watches you quavering in terror and sadness he can hear how hard you're breathing from crying....

He wants to do something but he is afraid to make you even more upset so he just sits there his eyes roams all over you in concern

Eric, Gareth and Jeff appears on the side of the table and they saw you

Eric felt unsettled as he laid his eyes on you

Jeff became even more worried to see you like this

Gareth "is she okay?" he whispers to Eddie

Eddie looks back at them and remembers you wanted to something so he quickly reaches down to his pocket fishing his wallet but Eric stops him "I'll get it- it's on me."

All of them walk away from the table as Eddie tried to follow them but you stop him by holding his hand

"Wait- Eddie don't- I've shouldn't act like that, I'm sorry, please- stay with me."

Eddie's eyes brimmed with tears as he sees your face distressed from the scenario

"I won't ever leave you alone, sweetheart."

[steamishot]

tired AF

today is our 3rd day at the new apartment and i woke up in a low, exhausted mood. i was loving the new space and familiarizing myself with the new environment, going at 110% trying to make it feel like home as soon as possible and i just crashed today. i made a list of all the packing and unpacking we have had to do in the last ~7 weeks, number indicates nights spent. we had to adjust to 13 different places and 12 different beds lol.

8/26 zurich - 1 lucerne - 1 vevey - 2 zermatt - 1 st moritz - 2 zurich - 1 nyc - 7 9/11 south pasadena - 17 9/28 mexico city - 4 oaxaca - 3 matt’s parents - 1 my parents - 2 10/9 new pasadena home - 2+

the movers came at about 9am on wednesday and i was juggling WFH by hotspotting, and matt was setting up the internet. they moved 53 boxes worth of stuff! i was tense because the movers' arrival window was for 9-11am and i had a meeting at 1pm. so i'm glad everything worked out fine and i got to attend the meeting.

matt has been very busy and nervous onboarding for his new job, and he officially starts on monday. this means that most of the unpacking/organizing (after the unpacking service) falls on me. i couldn't stand the messes, so i basically finished organizing the bathrooms, bedroom, and most of the office. i just need to work on the kitchen and balcony. i'm so dead tired from the physical work. i decided to leave the messes as they are and take my time sorting things out in the coming weeks. there's no rush.

we transitioned from using the app latch for opening all the doors of our last apartment, to having 3 physical keys and a garage remote. everything feels more slow paced here and people have the capacity/time to give you attention. on our first day, our neighbor held the door open for matt and introduced himself. in our 4 years living in brooklyn, no neighbor has said hi to us and vice versa.

i'm pretty happy with this location. it has some of the walkability like we had in nyc (walkable to grocery stores, boba, coffee, restaurants, and a yoga studio). so it makes it easier to share one car if needed. though i am considering just borrowing one of my parents car for about a year.

slowly, we will get into our new routines and get acquainted with the things around us. so far, i think chapresso may be my new debutea. TJ will be my grocery store of choice as it is only an 8 min walk away. the yoga studio here is pretty nice too, but definitely more mild than the LA studios.

tomorrow, i will babysit for my brother and SIL because my parents are in asia for 3 weeks. on sunday, we will have lunch with matt's family and move out one of our couches. life feels like it has become a complete 180. although this is all good change, it's still exhausting experiencing the transition/changes all happening at once. i hope matt's new job is good - so far it seems solid and the culture focuses more on patient care than making $, which makes sense with NYC being the capitalist center.

we're also learning how to live in a bigger space with each other. out of habit, i think we're so used to always being around each other all the time, so it's a weird but good feeling that we now have personal space lol. i'm here chilling in the bedroom, while he's doing his training modules in the office room. we also have 1.5 bathrooms now so we can poop at the same time! and it is so great that i don't have to hear every little thing he is doing (i.e tik toking, typing, talking on the phone)!!! feels like a big luxury and upgrade, though it is into an older apartment.

to do list:

visit a nursery/start a garden on the balcony

move out the couch, figure out what other furniture and seating we need for more guests

start inviting friends over (starting with SZ, perhaps we can WFH together)

take a swim at the pool?

use the fitness center

explore the area and caltech

find a good place to run outdoors

[fujunfuren]

You know Korean dramas have basic structure as a whole and per episode, like a kiss scene in ep8 (was it ep10?) and forceful break up in ep 14 or something. Have you felt that the drama was taking its time to show something or brought something out of nowhere just to be true to that structure? How was the flow in MLN?

I binged the drama and although I liked it very much, i keep forgetting its content like storyline or some dialogues (which might be a good thing??, because I'm thinking about a rewatch)

(I'm tired of kdramas being so obvious and intentional about these stereotypical episode structure instead of owning its own pace. This is where the question came from) Also would you pick a random episode to watch it or go for a binge-rewatch when you feel like you miss this drama?

Oh you are soo right about the basic structure and it does gets very predictable and old like usually in a 16eps drama, ep10 is where there's an actual update to either relationship or some climax and then when it gets too happy with not much plot (i tend to drop dramas at ep 12 lol). tbh, if the writing/plot keeps me on my toes or stays very interesting, i can understand the wait for the structure/ climax timing. But it seems like most of the time, it feels like the drama is dragging and they harp on the same issue and rush the last 4eps or so. For MLN, it kinda flows similar in terms of strutcure but I guess I enjoyed the buildup and it's a very nice slice of drama for me. We get things every eps and it didnt feel like it was dragging.

One thing about MLN's writer imo, is that some of the dialogues can be very self-indulgent on her end. I feel like it can be a bit too long for drama dialogues( would be best to read if it's a book). Although it's relatable and i enjoyed reading the subtitles, I do too get lost or forget some of it but when I rewatched, im like yes.

i feel you on that, it's becoming more rare for me to finish kdramas lol, like out of so many that's airing, it's usually 1 or 2 that I enjoyed. I've watched MLN 3 times. 2 times diligilently by episodes and the last is rewatching my fav eps/scenes. I still avoid ep14? cos that is too much pain, i bawled till i have swollen eyes the next day the first time i watched it HAHA. and of course everytime i'm making mln content, i end up rewatching so I guess it's more than 3 times lolol.

[1fairy]

bfj reading challenge 209

d-338 🩷 day 210 🌷107 pages 🪻miss lottie's christmas protector - sophia james 🌸chapter 11-14

🌷12 pages 🪻anthropology of an american girl - hilary thayer hamann 🌸chapter 2

☑ i finished miss lottie's christmas protector. could have been better. i liked the plot and i was enjoying the characters + potential romance in the space of that plot, but once the main issue got "resolved," the romance became tiring and uninteresting to me. it was a bit rushed in the end as well. insta love is kind of the name of the game for hq romances, but i just feel like the first half and the second half of the story didn't mesh well together.

my notes lol 🪻again with this book my least favorite part of this seems to be the one on one interaction with the main characters. it's like i like them when it's them + the plot outside or around other things going on, but when it's just the two of them together, i get bored lol. 🪻this is sucking the life out of me lol 🪻well that was a bust overall. once the "main" plot simmered, the romance just irritated me.

i'm liking the writing style of aoaag so far.

[inspirehealthandspirit]

Why do I Need A Liver Cleanse? The Answers Here

Are you feeling sluggish and tired all the time? Perhaps you’re getting more heartburn and stomach pain in what seems like all of the sudden. Are you feeling congested have allergies & sinuses bothering you this season? So If You're Asking Yourself: Why Do I Need A Liver Cleanse? A Liver Cleanse can help you detox, remove toxins, purge liver deposits and stones.   Clues You Need A Liver Cleanse Your liver is calling out for help through acid reflux/heartburn, stomach pain, fatigue, sluggishness, hormonal imbalance, high blood pressure, bloating and excess gas, allergies and sinus irritations. Other symptoms such as anxiety/panic attacks are also symptoms, read more about panic attacks here.  There are many more links to disease and the liver. If you're interested in treating the root cause of these diseases and illness, then I recommend reading the Liver Rescue by Anthony William. You'll get so much information it's crazy. You'll reference it all the time. He recommends certain supplements to help with specific diseases/illnesses. My husband and I both take supplements and herbals recommended in the book.  During the cleanse we stopped all supplements and vitamins and started again after we finished it. I have noticed a difference. I've also posted To Detox Or Not To Detox where you can learn more about the Liver, Colon and Harmful Organism Cleanse. Benefits of a Liver Cleanse - Improves Digestion - Improves liver function - Boosts energy - Feel lighter - Reduces Bloating and Gas - Clear brain fog CLEANSE DIET It is a five day cleanse or even six days if you include the day after the flush.  The liver cleanse kit comes with instructions, you'll need this, that spells out every step of the cleanse.   Even what you should eat during this time. You'll eat clean and avoid dairy, alcohol, sodas, and gluten as is recommended.  It's also suggested to purchase organic or locally grown foods, however, we bought our food from our regular grocery store which isn't organic or locally grown. Following the recommended diet will bring even better results, however, I don’t think we missed out on too much.   LIVER CLEANSE Day 1 Preface this that I started feeling a little off last night.  It was Easter Sunday, and I began to feel a bit sore throat coming on.  We were all sitting outside most of the day so it could very well be a sinus drainage issue, but I feel it today too.  I’ve started the day with green tea to kick the sore throat. I followed the Liver Cleanse instructions throughout the day and ate clean.  I also did my HIIT workout and could feel my sore throat or possibly cold being sweat out. Could the liver cleanse drink be helping, quite possibly? The drink itself isn’t that bad.  If you drink kombucha it’s a little like that but not as strong.  My husband, on the other hand, thinks it's horrible and has to chase it down.  LOL, I think for someone who isn’t used to drinking kombucha, aloe vera juice or other “weird” drinks its probably a shock to drink something that has ACV in it.   Day 2 I felt cold and fatigued all day until about 2:30 in the afternoon.  I pretty much just laid around because I felt like I was getting a cold. Then around 2:30 all of a sudden I was just more alert and felt better.  Even had some energy to burn. I took my next dosage of Oxy-Powder and Latero Flora and went to bed. I did find that I was up 3-4 times during the night having to rush to the bathroom.  Then I was awake and would fall asleep only to wake up again to go to the bathroom. The cleanse is definitely working without a doubt. My husband, on the other hand, did not feel well at all this morning and said he was up all night because he felt nauseous, had a headache and was even sweating.   He was experiencing detox side effects. The nausea was so bad that he was resisting taking dopamine. He succeeded and didn’t succumb to that. He normally wakes up every morning to workout but this morning he was still asleep, so I knew something was up.  I asked if he was ok and he said he felt sick. I explained all the toxins are getting stirred up and trying to come out. Its a normal side effect of doing a detox/cleanse, especially if this is your very first cleanse or detox ever.   Day 3 My husband woke up feeling better and had a good night’s sleep.  For the most part, so did I. My 3-year-old makes it a little hard to sleep without interruption due to her sleeping right on my shoulder with a leg wrapped around my stomach.  I definitely feel lighter today and less bloated and tight. We drank the liver cleanse and ACV drink. But at this point, it’s getting boring and I’m trying to stay focused.  The drink doesn’t bother me but I miss my tea. I’ve kept myself occupied and feel energetic. Day 4 Today I feel much better and clear-headed.  I have a little bit of a headache this afternoon but otherwise, I feel good.  I have energy and have only gone to the bathroom a few times. My brain fog has lifted and I'm clear-minded. Yay!   Feeling these benefits is what will keep you on track and stick to the rest of the cleanse. Maybe even do another one in the future. My husband has already sworn that he will not do this again. Mainly, because of the taste of the liver cleanse/ACV drink.  I think he’ll feel the benefits after it's over and be open to it again. We’ll see. My husband, on the other hand, said everything finally kicked in this morning at 5 am.  So maybe he's a little more toxic than me since it took this long to feel any of the actual cleansing part.  Nevertheless, I’m just thankful he’s been open enough to give this a try after years of me asking him to try.   Day 4 is the last day you drink the liver cleanse and ACV drinks.  Tomorrow will be light eating prepping for the Flush Day. Having done this cleanse twice before I am not looking forward to this part but I will do it, of course. At this point, neither one of us is having any cravings for anything.  I’m not really hungry either today. Day 5 This is the big day, Flush day.  Need I say more, this is exactly what it says. We’ve already been experiencing flush like symptoms all week from Oxy-powder and Later-Flora.  Yes, it will happen it's unavoidable its part of the elimination of toxins. And that is what we are going for here. This may be the day you ask yourself why do I need a liver cleanse? Cause you're not sure why you're this BUT don't forget the benefits! This is the home stretch you can finish this! The day itself was a regular day but with a restricted eating plan.  My energy levels are up and I feel clear-minded. You will not take Oxy-powder and later-flora on this night.  Instead, you will drink Epsom salt, yup it’s lovely (that’s sarcasm) and then olive oil, equally as tasty (sarcasm again). I’m not going to lie. It wasn't easy-drinking Epsom salt and olive oil straight up. (This is where I ask myself that question why do I need a liver cleanse?) I struggled with getting down the Epsom salt mix, which is a laxative in case you are wondering WTH, and had to keep myself from gagging.  My husband tried to talk to me right after drinking this, and I had to say don’t talk to me, I’m trying to keep this down. Then shortly after, you take the olive oil shot.  You can down all 6 oz as a shot or mix it with some freshly squeezed orange juice. I opted to not shoot it like some badass but rather mix it with OJ and do my best to get it down slowly. I got it down, it wasn’t too bad with OJ and I kept telling myself, I’m going to feel so much better after this.  Do it. I did.   How Did My Husband Do, You May Ask? After all, I’ve done this cleanse 3 times now, and I still struggle with getting down the Epsom salt drink and olive oil.  But I do it every time and don’t use that as a reason to not do it. So surely, my husband is going to be struggling with this too. I’m going to have to coach him through it. Well, my husband freakin’ threw both back like a champ. WTH! He complained all week about the ACV drinks and how that was awful but for some reason the most difficult part, for me anyway, he was like yeah no big deal.   DAY 6 While this is technically not part of the actual cleanse, it is part of the flush day aftermath.  You will take 6 Oxy-Powders when you wake up. This gets everything moving out of your liver and gallbladder.  Instructions say you may see stones being passed. You can use a throwaway strainer if you would like to catch them and see, per the instructions.  Yeah, I don’t need to go that far but some of you may. I experienced the “Flush” all day the next day.  I had to attend a party that afternoon and was ok for the most part.  Running to the bathroom as needed. My husband said he had to go to the bathroom but it wasn’t anything crazy. He was at the same party and even ate regular food. I, however, did not as I ate fruit and drank water. In no way was I going to mess up all my hard work and struggle by eating poorly the next day or days afterward.  No need to undo what had just been done. BATHROOM BREAKS This may be a concern for you especially if you work outside your home. I had the benefit of being at home this time. However, the previous two times I did it I was at work just like you. And I managed just fine.  As long as you have access to a bathroom, you’ll be fine. My husband did it while being at work all week and he managed.  So don’t let this be a deterrent to not try the cleanse. You can order it here and start your journey now.  It’s only 5 days plus the next day after the flush. Plan it over a weekend so you don’t have to worry about work bathrooms. LIVER CLEANSE RESULTS I’ve done this cleanse 3 times now and always feel better after.  If you’ve never done one or are a pro but haven’t tried this one, give it a try.  It may sound scary but the benefits far out weight the Epsom salt drink and olive oil shot. You may be wondering, if I do this how much weight will I lose. What's in it for me besides the elimination of toxins? Now, of course, I measured and weighed myself to give you all the external results from this liver cleanse.  It’s not all about the external results though we are going for internal health here. But I know this plays a role in the overall outcome. I hope this answered the question of why do I need a liver cleanse? You'll definitely get benefits of the cleanse at the very least you'll feel a little better. Read about activated charcoal and how it too can help with cleansing out some toxins. For an added benefit try grounding or earthing or dry brushing. WEIGHT LOSS Here it is, I lost 4 pounds (in 6 days), and lost a ½ inch off my waist, a ¾ inch off the smallest part of the abdomen, and a ¼ inch off my lower abdomen.  This may or may not seem like a lot to you but we are all different. These results are significant for me. I’m only 5’ so this is noticeable.   My husband lost 5 pounds during this time.  We don’t have any measurements on him; guys aren’t doing all that.  But I can visually tell that he lost weight around his upper abdomen.  He can benefit from another cleanse or two.  Still, I'm proud he gave it a try. Men if you are reading this you can do this too.  I’m still impressed that my husband did this with me.  He stuck to it even though the drinking of liver cleanse water and ACV water was a little rough.  He persevered and came out the other side lighter, feeling better. And I think eventually he’ll do another one because he’ll remember how he felt after doing the liver cleanse.  Time will tell. TAKE AWAY You may think different parts of the cleanse are harder than others.  As you can tell from both of our experiences we stuck to it and finished it. Why did we stick to it? Because we know our livers are calling out for some help.  It’s vital that we take care of our liver as it works diligently every minute of the day to keep us going strong. Your body is being inundated with toxins every day, and your liver is working hard at cleaning them out, but it’s being overwhelmed.  It’s when it becomes overloaded that you experience the symptoms above. You gotta help your body work at optimal levels.   You only get one. Try this cleanse to start in detoxing your body.  You came across this post for a reason. You're ready to begin healing and not treat the symptoms anymore. Get started! Remember that no two people are the same therefore no two people will have the same results, with anything in life. What works for one may not work another. These are my results alone. You may or may not experience the exact same thing. Listen to your body. 8/22/2019 UPDATE Global Healing Center now includes the organic olive oil and Epsom salt in the Liver Cleanse Kit. No worries about having to get anything extra for the cleanse except ACV. I wish you peace and guidance on your journey.  Take care and be well. The Liver Cleanse Kit Is: - 100% alcohol-free. - Vegan-friendly and GMO-free. - Helps eliminate foreign substances and toxins from the liver. - Made with organic and wild cultivated herbs. - Made in the USA from globally sourced ingredients using eco-friendly sustainable manufacturing. Read the full article

[hushedlover]

Screaming and Crying Part 2

Pairing: Xavier Thorpe x reader

Summary: Part 2. You're recovering from the hurt Xavier caused. You've avoided him at all costs, but how long can it go on?

A/n: Here's part 2! I had so much fun writing this. Isabella is based off of one of my best friends who helped me proof read this lol

Requests are open! Send anything in!

The sun was setting by the time you made your way back to the school. Your phone had gone off multiple times with calls and texts from friends questioning your disappearance. You ignored them all. You couldn’t find it in you to care. The blood had long dried on your knuckles, not until after you had finished punishing the poor tree more. Your arm hung limp at your side, your wrist had swelled and was throbbing. Probably sprained or broken. You couldn’t find it in you to care about that either.

You were sure you looked crazy, your hair a wind blown mess, face tear stricken, and blood covering your hand. You walked through the quad and ignored the people who gawked at you. It was very few due to the late hour, dinner had passed so you just made your way to your dorm. Isabella, your roommate, would be pissed seeing as you had ignored every worried attempt she made to reach out to you. You were correct in your assumptions. The minute you swung your door open she was bolting to her feet.

“No, no she just came in. Yeah I'll call you back. Okay bye,” she hung up the phone and sighed. “That was Enid. We were worried sick about you! What happened? Oh my gosh your hand! Bitch, what happened?”

You surprised both yourself and Isabella when you broke out laughing at their outburst.It was odd, the rush of adrenaline you had gained from the situation. You felt floaty, like a huge weight was lifted off your shoulders. Isabella stood there, gaping at you. This caused more laughter to flow out of you due to them looking like the human embodiment of the stupid emoji everyone uses. She almost looked afraid of you. When you finally calmed your fit of giggles, they spoke.

“Girl, what the fuck. What is happening right now?”

“I don’t even know man. I’m... I'm so tired. And boys are buttheads.”

“You say that like that's something new. I’m telling you, women are just better. But what happened? Was it that blonde beanstock you’re always with? What’s his name? Tarzan?”

You laughed again,” Xavier. And yeah it was him. It was him and his infatuation with that Wednesday girl.”

“Oh my god,” Isabella dragged out the last syllable, “I can’t blame him girl she’s so fine!”

You just glared at her and moved to go to your shared restroom. You wanted to wash the blood off your hand and inspect the damage done.

“Way to rub salt in the wound, thank you. So much,” you muttered over the sound of the sink running.

“Listen. Here me out on this. Please, plEAaase,” they whined from the doorway.

“Just grab me some pajamas, will you? I think I need a shower to get all of this off. My plaid pajama pants please.”

You heard rustling and heard Isabella call out to you.

“Not to ruin the good mood or anything, but shouldn’t you be having a mental breakdown right now? You haven’t even told me what happened, but I feel like there should be more tears.”

“I think it’ll come later, I’m kind of-,” You cut yourself off to take the clothes she had gathered from them. “Thank you. I’m kind of numb right now. I think it’s shock. And adrenaline. I don’t know. Can I explain after my shower?”

“Fine, but hurry up. I wanna know what my reasoning is going to be for kicking Tarzan’s ass,” and with that they shut the door behind them.

You slipped into the shower, the warm water relaxing your muscles. The silence without music would usually bother you, but tonight it was welcomed. Your head was finally quiet. Thoughts of Xavier and Wednesday kissing and holding hands long forgotten. You were just looking forward to the weekend now.

—------

It had been 2 days since that night. Isabella had kept you sane and occupied all weekend. You had shit talked and stuffed your faces with all the junk food you could find. Isabella had also confiscated your phone, claiming that “We can’t risk you being a pussy and giving into your problem.” So if anyone had tried to contact you it went unanswered. Bianca and the twins, you and Isabella’s friends, knew to take her if they needed something.

It was Monday morning now. You really, really did not want to go to class knowing you would have to see both Xavier and Wednesday and all your mutual friends, but Isabella forced you. They told you to “women up” and be a bad bitch. But you really didn’t feel like a bad bitch. You felt a bit pathetic. Isabella threw a pillow at you, startling you from your thoughts.

You flipped them off and then slipped out of bed and went to get dressed. Due to the weather being so cold the rules on uniform were a bit more lenient so you slid on some leggings and your Nevermore crewneck. The sleeve stuck to the brace you had around your wrist, luckily you hadn’t broken it, but it was sprained pretty bad. Isabella was getting ready too, but when she saw you in your comfy outfit she paused.

“Tell me you are not planning on wearing that.”

You looked down, confused.

“What’s wrong with it?”

“Girl! We get the chance to dress how we want, be cute!”

“Says you,” you grumbled playfully but went to change anyway.

You threw on some jeans and a long sleeve top with a t-shirt over it. Then you threw on some shoes and walked out of your closet.

“Is this better,” You raised your arms in question.

Isabella nodded in approval and then they shoved your bag and phone into your hands.

“Let’s go, Bianca is waiting and I’m hungry. You took too long.”

“What?,” You yelled as you were pushed out the door and towards the stairs. “You’re the one who made me change! I was ready!”

The two of you continued to bicker all the way down to the quad, where Bianca and the twins were standing there waiting for you. When you approached them, Bianca wrapped her arms around you in a tight hug. You laughed softly at the action. It was odd, your guys' relationship. She was Xavier’s ex yes, but before that you had all been friends. And that didn’t stop despite the conflict between the broken up couple. You had always trusted Bianca, and though it was a bit awkward at first, you remained close no matter the circumstances.

When you pulled away Bianca held you by the shoulders and smiled at you.

“He’s a dick who doesn’t know what’s good for him. You’re amazing and you’re so much more mature than him.”

You smiled at her, and kissed her cheek.

“Thank you, Bianca.”

“Guuuuuyyyyys, I’m hungrryyyyyyyyy.”

Your group all laughed at Isabella’s complaints. You all agreed to have the twins grab the food and then they’d meet you guys back at the table to eat. It was nice to laugh freely with your friends. A weight was lifted off your chest. When the twins returned you all dug into your food. You were all joking and bickering amongst yourselves. You almost forgot about your conflict with Xavier. Almost.

The thought of him still lingered in your brain. It stayed there through breakfast and while you were walking to class. You were so lost in conversation that you forgot that you had your first class with him. You remembered when you walked in the doorway and saw him sitting in his seat, the one next to him empty where you would usually be. You froze in your spot, your heart palpitating painfully. Isabella stopped next to you with a puzzled look.

“Why’d you stop in the middle of the- Oh.”

They cut themselves off when they saw where you were looking. He hadn’t noticed you yet, too enamored in his drawing he was working on. You looked up at your friend next to you, your eyes wide with panic. You didn’t know what to do.

“Hey hey hey, don’t cry please. I don’t do well with crying. Here, you’ll sit with me. I’ll be your new partner,” She was already guiding you to your new seat.

When you got there you kept your head low, afraid to look up and make eye contact with Xavier. You sat next to Isabella and they struck conversation with you easily until the teacher walked in. When you heard the footsteps walk in the room you instinctually looked up, and you wished you hadn’t. Your eyes drifted across the room to where Xavier sat, the seat next to him now occupied. The sight of him and his new partner made your stomach drop. It was Wednesday sitting next to him. Of course it was.

He must have felt your eyes on him because he glanced over at you. When his eyes met yours and widened, you quickly hardened your gaze and looked away. You didn’t want him to see the hurt you still felt. Straightening your back you focused your attention on the lecture, you wouldn’t let him get to you.

___

The lecture felt like it went on forever, so when it was finally over you were extremely relieved. You and Isabella parted ways at the door, they would go to their next class and you would go to chemistry. With Xavier. Your chest tightened at the thought. You sped up your pace as you walked towards the class, hoping if you got there fast enough you could find any seat away from him. But the universe decided to give you a huge middle finger today. When you arrived at the class there were only 2 open seats. Right next to each other.

You sighed. You were too tired for this. Maybe you could just ignore him and he’d leave you alone. That is if he even wanted anything to do with you. You didn’t have to wait long to see his reaction. He walked in not long after you, his eyes darting between you and the chair next to you. You continued to look down at your paper, refusing to meet his eyes. You heard him audibly sigh before he dropped his bag and sat next to you. You could feel him burning holes into the side of your head, but you didn’t dare look over.

Class started and things were going smoothly. The class was mostly notes, so there was no need to talk to the boy next to you. That didn’t stop him from bothering you though. As you concentrated on the board ahead of you, you felt something land on your hand. Looking down, you saw a butterfly perched on the back of your hand. It was a dark gray, clearly one of Xavier's drawings. You felt your heart pick up at the thought of him trying to get your attention. Immediately, you shook your hand, and your head, slightly to clear the butterfly and your thoughts. Xavier sighed again and then looked back at the board.

—

After that there were no incidents. The day continued smoothly and by the end of it you were exhausted and ready to flop on your bed. You did just that when you arrived at your dorm. Throwing your bag to the ground, you ran and fell face first on the plush covers. Not 5 minutes into your silence, the door burst open. In came Isabella and Bianca, talking loudly before they saw you.

“Y/n,” Isabella called out. “What are you doing? We’re going down to Weathervane in like 10 minutes?”

You grumbled back, your words being incoherent. You didn’t want to get up. But you also wanted coffee.

Slowly you rolled off your bed and to the floor, and then looked towards your friends. Isabella looked confused, Bianca looked concerned. You reached your hands out towards them and pouted.

“Help please,” You wiggled your fingers at them.

They looked at each other and sighed before walking to you and pulling you to your feet. Then they dragged you out the door, leading you on the bus that was going to bring kids down to town. When you arrived in the cafe you practically ran for the counter. No one was there yet, but you knew the boy who worked here most days, Tyler. You guys had met at one of the festivals in town before his whole argument with Xavier. You had been pissed with him over what he did to Xavier, but after he apologized and explained himself you had become civil once again. Now you were more acquaintances than friends, but you loved the way he made your coffee so you were kind to him.

You dinged the bell on the counter obnoxiously while Isabella and Bianca made their way into the shop. You heard Tyler yell something from the back before he came into your view, clearly frustrated. You gave him a sickly sweet and innocent smile.

“Hi Tyler, did you miss me?”

“Oh so very much,” he smiled back at you. “The usual I assume? You want to put theirs on your order too?”

He pointed at your two friends behind you, who he had seen come in with you hundreds of times before. They had already sat down and were chatting idly.

“Yes please, I’m treating today,” You said, pulling out your wallet.

As you fished for the right amount of cash you heard Tyler speak again.

“What about his?”

Your head snapped up, your brows furrowed. You had been so focused on the money that you hadn’t heard the door open. When you glanced behind you, you saw the last person you wanted to see. Xavier.

“No, uh. He’s not with me- us today,” You tripped over your words, hands now shaking as you tried to hand the cash to the boy in front of you.

Tyler quickly took note of the way you trembled and how your eyes were watering. He quickly grew concerned. You two may not be close, but he cared enough to know he didn’t like seeing you this upset. He made eye contact with Bianca, who had been watching since Xavier walked in, and waved her over. Then he placed his hand over yours.

“Hey, Y/n,” He dipped his head trying to make eye contact with you. “Hey, why don’t you go sit down? Bianca or Isabella can help me okay?”

You just nodded slightly, feeling Bianca take your shoulder gently and guiding you to the table. Isabella was finishing the transaction with Tyler, both of them looking over at you with worry occasionally. You glanced around the shop in panic, not being able to find the boy you were so desperately avoiding. That was until he was standing directly in front of your table, just next to where Bianca sat.

“Y/n, can I- Can I talk to you, please?,” Xavier stumbled over his words.

Your friend tensed and got ready to get up and give him a piece of her mind, but your hand on her arm stopped her. Xavier saw you whisper something in the siren’s ear before she slid out of the booth, giving you room to slip out too. You made brief eye contact with your previous best friend, before turning on your heel and walking out the door.

You continued to walk until you were in the grass across the street from the cafe. You knew he was following you. Like a love sick puppy. You scoffed to yourself. When you decided you were far enough from the shop you stopped and waited for him to approach you. You felt him stop behind you, but you didn’t turn.

“Y/n, please would you look at me? Look, I know I messed up. I was a total dick and I’m so sorry. I just was so excited about Wednesday, I mean I really like her. I haven’t liked anyone this much since Bianca and I-,” He cut himself off when he noticed your arms wrapped around yourself, your shoulders shaking.

You still had your back to him so he couldn’t see the tears streaking your cheeks, but he knew you were crying. You never cried. And he made you cry. Oh shit. Why were you crying? He rushed forward and turned you gently. Grabbing your cheeks, he made you look up at him. Xavier’s thumbs brushed along your cheeks, concern filling his eyes.

“Please talk to me. I don’t think I can handle you being quiet anymore. You’re never quiet with me and these past couple of days I've been trying to give you space but it’s so hard. I miss you. I miss my best friend.”

He whispered the last part, resting his forehead on yours. You furrowed your brows and sniffled. Then you pushed him away, hitting his chest. You punched and pushed and hit and Xavier took it all because he knew he deserved it.

“You idiot,” You yelled at him. “I have supported you for years! I’ve been your best friend, no matter how much you’ve pissed me off. No matter what you have said to me. And you know why I did that? Because I love you, you moron. I have loved you since we were kids, and I haven’t done anything because I just want you to be happy. But whenever any other girl comes along, you throw yourself at her! You ignore me! I’m tired Xavier! I’m so tired.”

Your shoulders slumped forward and you sighed. Xavier was a few steps in front of you, shock written across his face. His eyes were watering, his cheeks flushed. You wiped your face and felt that you had been sobbing the entire rant. Xavier took a step forward and you took one back.

“You… love me?,” He asked, like he was afraid he would scare you off.

You shook your head and glared at the grass below you.

“Only since we were 8.”

“Y/n… I don't know what to say,” He started.

“Don’t say anything. Go back to your girlfriend and leave me alone. I don’t want to hurt anymore.”

As you turned to walk away, Xavier’s hand shot out and grabbed your wrist. His mind was racing, he was panicking. He couldn’t let you walk away. Not when he found out you loved him back and every stupid this he’s done in the past year was for nothing. So he panicked and said the first thing that came to mind.

“Wednesday is a lesbian. She likes Isabella.”

You froze. You tried to process the information the tall boy had just blurted but you couldn’t. Not fully. So you burst out an incredulous laugh and collapsed to the ground. Xavier wasn’t expecting it, and with his grip still tight on your wrist he was pulled down along with you. He landed half on top of you, his arms on either side of your head to keep him from crushing you. His long hair tickled your face and you scrunched your nose at the sensation. Then you realized the position you were in. You blushed, heat rushing to your face and looked everywhere but the boy on top of you.

Xavier on the other hand could only see you. He could only focus on your eyes, the freckles that dotted your skin, the way your lips pulled into that beautiful little frown. He gently reached down and ran his thumb across your eyebrows, trying to soothe the harsh lines there. Then he cupped your jaw, forcing you to look up at him. What he did next made your heart completely start and restart in your chest.

Xavier had leaned down, pressing his lips to yours carefully. He pulled away quickly, not wanting to overstep. Before you could question him, he spoke:

“I thought you only saw me as a brother. That’s what Rowan and Ajax, my parents, everyone told me. They told me I couldn’t ruin our friendship. So like the moron I am, I listened. I pushed away my feelings for you and I went after other girls because I thought it was the only chance I had at staying in your life. Sure, I liked Bianca and Wednesday. Maybe I had a crush on them. But I wasn’t in love with them like I am with you. I am so sorry, Y/n. I never should have said what I did. If I could take it back I would. But because I can't, I'll spend my entire life making it up to you.”

You were in shock. What the fuck was he thinking:? He could just apologize and confess his love and everything would be fine? No. You smiled up at him and then you slapped him. Hard. His face turned with the impact. And then you grabbed his face and kissed him. Hard.

“You owe me so many things, the list is at least a mile long,” You said as you pulled back and then kissed where your hand had met his face. “But we have all the time in the world for you to complete that list.”

Xavier leaned down to kiss you again and then pulled away with a frown.

“That hurt,” He whined.

“You deserved it and you know it,” you kissed his cheek once more before gently pushing him off of you. “Now come on, we need to get Isabella a girlfriend. Maybe she’ll finally stop making me watch anime with her.”

___

Tags: @555stargirl555 @weasleylovers @wrenwastooshort @justanotherkpopstanlol @lovurryy @rainehatepage @ghostlycrystobalove @bambi-munson @hershey2813 @karslyn @nothingbeatsthebeautyofthemoon @parkersmyth @multistangirl07 @emilykolchivans

[p4rallel-universe]

i just finished reading "brokeback" and i'm so in love, is it okay if i request a part 3 maybe where ian finds out about they're relationship? i feel like he would be so weirded out at first bc he didn't expect it from lip to be with a man, but when he sees how good they are to eachother he would be somewhat proud lol (you can modify the idea as well) or lip talking to ian like "thank you a lot for the very invasive talk and un-noticed advice"

bye byee <3

brokeback (pt. 3)

something doesn't feel right to Ian.

a month has passed since you started staying in the Gallagher house, and it's basically your home now. you hang with Ian and make sure he's taking care of himself. you look after Liam. you talk to Debbie and help her out with her teenage girl problems to the best of your adult man capabilities. you try and keep carl from being arrested as much as possible. and as long as you're helping out, Fiona is a fan of yours.

so, all is well. except, Ian can't quite place what's going on with Lip. he's both acting distant and happier than Ian's seen him in months. to make things stranger, the apparent negative tension between you two has resolved, but he still hasn't caught you exchanging more than 2 words to eachother a day.

a couple nights the previous week, Ian awoke in the middle of the night and looked over to find your makeshift bed empty. which wouldn't be a big deal, if it hadn't happened several times, and if you hadn't not returned until Ian woke up the next morning. still, he doesn't read too deeply into it. maybe you fell asleep downstairs or decided to start going on midnight runs. he didn't know and was too tired to care, frankly. besides, you had always returned by the time he'd woken up

until, one morning he wakes up and you aren't there, and by the looks of it haven't been all night.

confused and dazed with tiredness, Ian stumbles out into the hall in search of the bathroom, when he sees you exiting the spare room in a way that would be subtle if he hadn't been staring right at you. he shoots you a confused look, as if to ask, "what were you doing in there?" and you just nod to him, patting his shoulder as you walk past into your shared room. "weird." he mumbles before turning into the bathroom.

the idea of your best friend screwing your older brother is a disturbing one. so, despite his concerns, Ian tried his best to stear clear of that frame of thought. which was going pretty well for him, until he entered the spare room, planning to look for a coat he was sure he'd left in there, and sees the floor littered with your clothes, as well as his brothers. he audibly groans at the uncomfortable realisation he's just been forced to have.

"fuck. my gay best friend is screwing my straight brother- my not straight brother? my...gay brother?", a hundred thoughts rush through his head at once. "i need to talk to Lip.", is the final one.

that night, Lip is outside on the back porch smoking a cig and brooding. Ian tries to bite back a rather large wave of disgust, shock and strange...curiosity? before joining him out there.

"hey." he says from behind him, trying not to fidget. it isn't that he doesn't want Lip to be gay. or bi. or whatever. i mean, gayness isn't an awkward thing to Ian. like, at all. so why is it suddenly such a touchy subject?

"yo," Lip nods and offers the cig offer to Ian, who declines it. Lip furrows his brow and turns away, chuckling, "what, you too good to smoke now?" he jokes and Ian tries to laugh along,

"ah no, eh i was uh- hoping to talk to you.", Ian stammers, Lip shoots him a weird look,

"you can talk." Lip answers, shaking his head and taking another puff,

"look, Lip, you're my brother and...and i love you. you know i'd never uh, judge you for who or what you choose to be and i uh-" Ian is trying to be supportive, but he guesses it isn't working,

"what the fuck are you talking about Ian?" Lip is pretty sure he knows what's coming anyway. it isn't like you tried to hide it. he wonders if he wanted to hide it. maybe you should've hid it,

"i know there's something going on between you and Y/N. and i dunno if you're like, dating, or just fucking or...i mean, do you love him?"

and there it is. it's out. Lip's secret that wasn't a secret that shouldn't have been his in the first place. despite expecting this very thing, he still pauses, his jaw hardening. he flicks the cig away. there's silence between them.

"the fuck you mean, 'do i love him'? does it matter?", he snaps, then pauses, "i uh, i took your advice. well, what you said about Mickey. the stuff about the hair and the eyes. i dunno. i guess i just don't know if i love him. we uh, we hang out i guess." Lip chuckles as he mimics his brother's statement from all those weeks ago. his chuckle fades into a solemn smile and Ian takes a step closer,

"look, man, you don't need to know anything. you wanna be with him, that's great. that's cool. fucking weird. but cool." Ian pats Lip on the shoulder and Lip shoots him a smile. the silence resumes.

"so...how the hell did that happen?" Ian breaks the silence and they both chuckle in bewilderment,

"don't ask me, man. fuck, i dunno, pheromones? the fuck should i know..." Lip grins to himself, remembering how it all played out between you, "whatever the fuck it is, he's got me. like he's under my skin or, like, in the fucking air around me. some pretentious shit like that." Lip scoffs at himself, but he means it. Ian can tell he means it, and pulls him in for a hug.

Lip holds on for a couple minutes before pulling back. he shoves Ian by the shoulder,

"get the fuck out of here." he chuckles and Ian gives him a look. a look that kinda says, you're welcome for the advice. a look that kinda says, this is insane and unexpected but it's okay.

and Lip really feels okay. he smiles to himself, alone on the porch. when he hears the door shut and your voice from inside the house, he runs in, beaming.

and you feel okay together.

[mocharadio]

Go to Sleep, Idiot.

Now Playing(Title): Go to Sleep, Idiot.

Song Artists(Characters): Albedo x gn!reader

Genre: Slight Angst/Comfort, Mutual Pining

Remix(Au): Modern Au, College Au (somewhat vague)

Lyrics(Summary): You're tired, but you won't go to sleep unless Albedo does too. Feelings get acknowledged, much to your discontent (or not?)

Explicit?(Warnings): no beta we die like Albedo's sleep schedule, reader is emotionally detached, they/he used for Albedo, ooc(?), mentions of Bulimia (an eating disorder) on the readers end

A/N: yes this was rushed, yes this is manifesting for Albedo to come home. I'm writing this at 2 am by the way lol /srs

also this is the first time I've wrote anything besides headcanons in a while so like please bare with me </3 English ain't my first language either so..yikes.

Feel free to criticize! Please like and reblog ^^

It's 3 a.m.

3 in the fucking morning.

So why isn't he in bed?

"Dude, Albedo, it's getting so late it's.....no longer late. Why haven't you gone to sleep yet?" You lean against the wall just a few steps away from your bedroom, peeking into the living area where Albedo was. They can feel the glare you're giving him, but choose not to comment regardless. "Ah, so you're ignoring me now. I see." you sigh. You walk over and plop yourself on the couch next to him, looking over his shoulder. They don't bother giving you a second glance, they're aware of your overbearing but very much enjoyable presence. He opens his mouth to say something but shuts it immediately to scribble something down. You lay your head on his shoulder, waiting for them to respond at some point. You know he will, he always does; they never ignore you without a reason. Luckily for Albedo, you're too tired to notice the hitch in his breath when your head makes contact with him. They're not used to this much.....affection? Does it even count as affection? Especially from the likes of you. No offense, you just tend to be very...distant. Glancing over his shoulder, he allows themself to relax for a moment and lean their head against yours. "I.....need to finish the rest of these notes. I'll be done in a few." he finally replied. "Uh-huh, sure you will. I know how you work, 'Bedo. If I don't stop you now you'll be at it till its time for your first class." Normally they'd just shrug it off if you scolded them. It's a normal occurrence for the two of you. Albedo reprimands you for your unhealthy eating habits (what are they, your mom?) and you reprimand him for his shit sleep schedule. Somethings....different this time though, they can feel it. You let out a small groan due to exhaustion and lean forward to rest your elbows against the coffee table. "I'm not sleeping until you do, period." you scoff. Albedo finally turns to face you, not even attempting to hide the dark circles under his eyes. They tilt their head to the side, as if they were trying to study you, analyze you, like an experiment. Hoping that they'd get their way.

And you weren't having any of it.

"Alright, that's it. Let's get you to bed pretty boy." You stand up and try to drag him off the couch, only to find yourself flung back on top of it. Son a bitch pulled you down. "You've gotta be fuckin-" they slap your hand over your mouth and give you a side eye to cut you off, before inhaling and saying those words you didn't even realize you never wanted to hear till now. "What's wrong? You haven't been acting like yourself lately. You still scold me as usual but it lacks a certain...energy. Have you not been eating well? Not sleeping, maybe? Did I..... do something wrong?"

That. That right there.

Truth be told you were doing pretty well, actually. Your grades are doing better than ever, as of recently you weren't gorging and then starving yourself for days on end (hell, you'd say this is the longest time you've gone without relapsing), everything was A-Ok! Except for the fact that you're in love with your roommate! Shocker!

You didn't and still don't have the heart to tell them about your feelings, it could ruin everything, but you knew it would come to this. You can't keep hiding your feelings forever, you know it would start showing at some point.

You just never thought it would be like this, never thought he would ever think that he was the problem and not you, but at the end of the day you're still too much of a pussy to admit your feelings.

"Y- Where did you even get that from? No, you didn't do anything wrong 'Bedo-"

"Then why are you so distant towards me. We used to be so close." Ouch. That fucking hurts. Especially because you know they're right. You thought it would be okay to open up for once, to let someone in, but as soon as you realized your...romantic predicament, you just shut him out all over again.

You hurt him, and this is another reason why you can't tell him how you feel. You don't deserve them, you don't deserve to love or be loved by them.

At least, that's what you think. Albedo sees it in an entirely different light though.

They adore you. They love you so much it hurts them sometimes, because they don't know how to show it. He tries, he really does; in lingering touches, soft gazes, their vulnerability. A kind of vulnerability only you're allowed to see. So where did they go wrong?

It's silent, and tense. Neither of you move or speak for a good five minutes. What's even left to say? You can't bring yourself to deny it, cause you know he'll want a reason, a reason that you just can't give him. Not now.

Finally, Albedo scoots closer to you, hand resting on top of yours. They tilt your head to meet your gaze, half-lidded eyes focusing intently on your lips. You act like you don't see it, there's no point in getting your hopes up, not for someone you don't deserve. You decide to break the silence, shifting the focus onto him.

"Bedo. Have you been overworking yourself just because you think you did something wrong?" You know you're right when you see a slight flinch, before he turns away. "You still didn't answer whether or not I did do something wrong...I did, didn't I?"

Your heart shatters when you hear his voice crack, you can't keep going on like this. If you didn't deserve them before, you definitely don't now. You need to fix it, you know you do. So you try.

"No, you didn't."

Part of you thinks you can get out of this without having to expose that part of you, the part that feels something for him. The part of you that's vulnerable, weak. "Then why?"

You realize there really is not easy way to get out of this. You can't bring yourself to say the words, you might fall apart if you do. So you kiss them instead. It's short, but it sends the message. You let your free hand cup his cheek as you pull away, avoiding his gaze in fear of what he might do, what they might say, and that fear only grows bigger when he just says "Oh."

It dissipates when they lean in for more, returning the kiss they didn't have enough time to process beforehand. This time, you both pull away, and he rests his forehead against yours.

"I see. Well, I'm glad I didn't do anything wrong but....maybe just tell me next time?"

Of course he would.

"Like you're one to talk" you grumble. You would wipe that shit-eating grin off his face right now if it wasn't so cute. They turn back around to continue typing their notes, but you just close the computer. Laying back on the couch, you pull him closer until he's laying on top of you, face on your chest and his arms wrapped around your waist.

"I'll help you finish it later. Go to sleep, idiot." Ah, yes. Your lovely word choice. They know there's nothing but genuine concern and fondness though, so he lets it slide. "Mhm. Thank you."

You both let out a sigh of relief, before drifting off to sleep.