#I feel like... a swamp unicorn?

[icarryitin]

Candles

spencer reid/gn!reader

happy 26th anniversary of my escape from the womb, as a celebration pls enjoy this lil smth smth while i spend the evening eating a whole cake by myself🧡

series masterlist

word count: 1.3k // warnings: zero just vibes, also glasses reid comes with his own warning🫡

summary: You only just about manage to rein in Penelope for your first birthday at the BAU. Spencer throws a curveball.

It’s been a mission and a half, keeping it all under wraps. Penelope’s been the worst, but you managed to convince her not to put a reminder on everyone’s calendar - a new sparkly unicorn friend for her desk collection was enough to satiate her. For this year, at least.

Birthdays aren’t what they used to be.

They used to be a month long affair, sparkly and exciting. Now it’s just a day. You might get a couple of cards from a couple of family members, you might treat yourself to a takeout so you don’t have to cook, you might watch your favourite movie. It’s nothing special anymore, but you don’t mind that. It’s just a part of growing up.

Which is exactly why you’d expressly forbidden Garcia from organising any kind of celebration when she’d cornered you in the elevator about it last week. You’re still a relatively shiny new toy in the BAU, and being the centre of attention isn’t one of your strong suits anymore. You’re happy to let it pass largely unnoticed by your colleagues. She can do something next year, for sure, when you’re settled in properly. Provided there are no cases that demand attention.

Your back still aches from the flight back yesterday evening, nobody ever said sleeping sitting up is good for you. But, thankfully, it means that everyone’s been too swamped in paperwork today to have noticed Penelope’s extremely subtle efforts to make the day a little easier for you. Her way of celebrating, you were never going to get away that easily. A coffee this morning, a muffin from the café when she came back from her lunch break, she’d even called you into The Lair to present you with a card. Secretly, of course, so as not to arouse suspicion. It’s tucked away in your bag now, safe and sound. Glitter and all.

“Goodnight, my loves.” She appears in your field of vision, blonde head bobbling over the divider between your desk and Morgan’s.

You raise your hand to wave, but the occupant of the desk to your right is far too engrossed in the file to notice. It’s just the three of you left in the office - Penelope, you, and Spencer. Even Hotch has gone, armed with a stack of case files and a furrowed brow.

“See you in the morning, P.” It doesn’t take a lot of effort to return her smile, however tired you might be. That’s the thing about Penelope Garcia, you’ve learned, her energy is kind of infectious. She totters over to your desk with a sly look over at Reid, who still doesn’t appear to be paying any attention.

“Happy Birthday.” She whispers, throwing you an exaggerated wink. Okay, maybe you feel a little bit guilty about depriving her of the celebration she wanted to give you.

And then she’s off, and it’s just you and Reid and the occasional quiet tapping of keyboards, the sifting of papers.

You’ve been absorbed by a file, checking and double checking your additions to the report are accurate, so you don’t really pay Reid any mind when he wanders off towards the kitchen. Your red pen is out, scribbling on an extra copy of the notes. The Unsub on this case had been crafty, but not crafty enough, and your confidence is growing with the handful of takedowns now under your belt. It’s nice to feel like you’re contributing to the team’s success - it’s still your rookie year, but your handcuffs are a little less shiny than they were. You’re about to start typing up your amendments when there’s a noise behind you, like someone clearing their throat. They do it again, a little louder, a little less unsure. It’s unexpected to say the least, the image you’re presented with when you turn in your chair.

Doctor Spencer Reid - adjacent desk mate, awkward stakeout buddy, bespectacled distraction - is holding a small plate out to you, one single cupcake in the centre. There’s a birthday candle stuck in the chocolate swirled icing, just the one, tiny flame wobbling away in the air conditioning. He looks nervous, but there’s a glint in his eye hiding behind his glasses. You wonder what kind of threats Penelope made to get him to do this.

“Garcia said you didn’t want a fuss,” He starts rambling, “So, I figured I would wait until there were less people around and - well, it looks like it’s just us now.”

You’re fumbling for something to say, anything.

“This was - yeah, this was a bad idea, wasn’t it? You didn’t want a fuss and I did this and now you-“

“It’s okay.” You say, finally finding your voice. Matching smiles start to grow, slowly, and the lingering awkwardness evaporates.

It’s hard not to play up the childish wonder of it all - even in the beige and navy confines of the BAU office. Reid still holds the cupcake out towards you as you squeeze your eyes shut, nose wrinkled. Making a wish. You’re not really sure what it is you’re wishing for, maybe it’s that you’ll settle in with the team for the long term, maybe it’s that you’ll catch every bad guy until there’s none left, maybe it’s that a certain teammate will keep looking at you with those big old eyes and a hint of a smile on his face. Whatever it is, it’s good enough, and you open your eyes slowly. Leaning forward, one small puff of breath extinguishes the little candle. Birthday ritual complete. You’re sure Reid has a fun fact about the history of birthday celebrations and the burning of foodstuffs, but you don’t ask just yet. He’s still holding the plate out to you.

“Split it with me?”

His answering grin is contagious, you’ve no choice but to return it as he turns on his heel to hunt down a knife from the kitchen.

“And since it’s just the two of us,” He chatters on his way back from the kitchen, a second plate and butter knife in tow, “I won’t even make you wear the birthday hat.”

There’s a birthday hat, good lord. You’re glad you managed to hold Penelope off for one year, even if it’s the only one she’ll let you have.

“You have no idea how much that means to me.”

“There’s always next year.” Reid is grinning into his half of the cupcake, deliberately not watching you process the fact that you will absolutely be wearing the birthday hat this time next year. But it’s surprisingly heartwarming to hear that he thinks you’ll be with the team for your next birthday. Not that you don’t expect to be, but having confirmation that the others believe it too makes you feel a little fuzzy.

“At least I caught Garcia before she organised a street party, a card and a cupcake do me just fine.” Your words are muffled around the mouthful of cake and icing.

“Oh, she didn’t do this.”

You don’t follow. That much must be clear on your face, because he presses on.

“I made a batch, but then Penelope said you wanted low-key. So I only brought one.”

He made it?

He made it. For you.

If he wasn’t hurtling towards inappropriate crush territory already, he sure is now.

“Thank you, Spencer.”

It doesn’t escape your notice that it’s the first time you use his name. Not Doctor, not Reid, just Spencer. He’s noticed too, if the blush steadily creeping up his cheeks is anything to go by. But you don’t want him to steam up his glasses, and you definitely don’t want to dig yourself in any deeper - so you ask him about birthday candles, an answer he’s more than happy to provide between the last mouthfuls of cupcake and remaining file reports.

Maybe the work birthday thing isn’t so bad, you’ll just have to find that hat before next year.

the canyouniverse is back with a vengeance baybieeee 🧡🧡 i’m love them sm (and you!! for reading!!!)

[writings-of-a-demigod]

Wrong Place, Wrong Time - Jim Street (S.W.A.T)

plot: going into labor while visiting Street at work and being stuck due to a lockdown.

character: Jim Street x pregnant! reader + Deacon x reader + Luca x reader

a/n: Someone requested this but I couldn't stop writing so I turned it into a one-shot 😅 sorry I was so excited!

It was a busy day at S.W.A.T HQ but you didn’t know that when you made an appearance to say hi to your husband Jim. You were out with friends for brunch before going home you thought about stopping by to say hi to the team. The first person you saw was David, you smiled at him and he came over to greet you.

“Hi Y/n!” he gave you a hug “How are you doing?” he looked you up and down.

“Hi David. I’m good and you?” You asked.

“Just swamped right now but good.” He answered honestly.

“How’s things with being pregnant?” he looked at your belly.

“Ugh so much harder than I thought.” You pouted “I thought it was going to be easy and fun and I’m like a unicorn but no it wasn’t.”

He gave a short laugh “Well don’t worry any day now the baby is coming and it’s gonna be different.”

“Well you are an expert at that so I should take your word for it.” You both smiled at each other.

Just before you could about your husband, he showed up looking worried.

“Y/n!” he came rushing to your side.

“Hey you” you smiled at him.

“What’s wrong? Are you alright? Is it the baby?” he took hold of your hands and started looking for anything that didn’t look right.

“Easy there tiger” David started and that made Jim look at him “She’s here to make your day better.”

He nodded at him then David excused himself. Jim turned his focus on you and gave you a long hug.

“Okay now I gotta ask you.” You said while hugging him back “Are you okay?”

He gave you one of his cute smiles that showed his dimples “Deacon was right I feel much better now.” He didn’t let you go completely and was still holding to your arms.

You were a little suspicion about that, but you knew his job wasn’t that easy. Tan came running and passed you two “Street we got an update.”

“What’s going on in here?” you said looking around, seeing everyone on edge.

“I’m sorry baby it’s just bad timing. We’re dealing with something right now.” Street said while rubbing your arms trying to keep you calm.

“You go help out I’ll leave and see you at home.” He was hesitated to leave you.

“Go” you encouraged him “I’ll be fine.” You gave him a gentle push.

 He gave you a soft kiss before running after Tan. You hoped they all ended the day on a good note and prayed silently for their safety. As you were making your way to the door you felt pain, but at this point it was normal because it was close to your due day. You were feeling pain all through your pregnancy but each one was different depending on your stage. You stopped to take deep breaths.

“Oh hey are you alright Y/n?” you heard Luca’s voice before seeing him.

He stepped in to help if he could “Are you alright?” he offered you his hand to grab if you needed it and God you did. You took hold and squeezed.

“Here let’s help you sit down on the chair.” You barley made it to the chair

“Should we call Street?” Luca was rubbing your back to ease the pain.

“No.” You said firmly “There’s no need to scare him.”

The pain stopped “Oh the pain stopped” you stood up straight then looked at Luca.

Before Luca was able to reply the alarm noise boomed in the whole building. Everyone looked around then their training took over, the whole building was on lock down. The alarm scared you and you took hold of Luca’s arm.

“What’s happening?” your voice was shaky.

“We’ve been dealing with hackers all day. If I have to take a guess they must be trying to get into our system.”

Just then Jim came running, he was looking for Luca when he saw you.

“I thought you left?” his eyes were wide.

“Sorry I was double sided a little bit.” You gave him a weak smile.

“Come on we’ll let you rest in Hick’s office until we finish dealing with this.”

You both made your way to Hick’s office, and Jim went out of his way to make you feel comfortable as you will be in there for a while.

“All done” he said as he fluffed the last pillow and turned to see you looking at him with heart eyes.

“What?”

“Nothing” you moved closer to him “I just think you’re the best husband, trying to make me feel comfortable here while your team is out there doing their work.”

“isn’t that why you marry me?” he smiled with those cute dimples.

“That and for many other reasons.” You kissed him.

When you parted he saw your eyes widened, you looked down at your legs and his eyes followed yours.

“I think my water broke!” you said panicking.

“I think so too.”

He grabbed your arms to help you sit down on the sofa, Jim was used to stressful situations and situations that made most people panic and freak out. He knew exactly how to be calm and process everything at once, so when your water broke, he was exactly what you needed by your side. He was there for the birth classes with you, he didn’t miss not one class. He read every book he could find about pregnancy and childbirth, he wanted to be ready for the whole thing just in case something happened.

“You remember the breathing exercises?” you nodded “Well it’s time to put them into test, okay?” he told you in a very calming voice.

“Give me a minute baby I’m gonna call someone” he held his phone to his ears.

He was still holding your hand while he talked to someone on the phone.

“Yeah we’re in the Hick’s office……… yeah her water just broke.” You couldn’t hear the rest of the conversation because of the contraction, you pressed on Jim’s hand hard while controlling your breathing. He ended the phone call and got down to your level.

“Hey sweetheart just keep breathing.” He grabbed your other hand and press a kiss to it.

There was a knock on the door and Deacon showed up “Hey guys I thought you might need a hand here.”

Jim and David did everything they could to make you feel at ease, it was the longest 30 minutes of your entire life. But you had your husband with you the whole time, so you kept on focusing on the positive things and not get your mind the on the negative. David was also here and he has four kids and they all healthy so he’s a trained professional on childbirths right now, when you told him that he laughed “Yeah you’re right about that, so there’s no need to be worried as long as I’m here.”

He also called an ambulance that was waiting for you outside as soon as the lockdown was over. The contractions were getting 4 minutes apart by now, the team was working as fast as they could. Thanks to both Luca and Tan they manage to find their target, the people behind all of this. Even thought Jim was slowly getting stressed about his baby being born here in HQ he wants to make sure that both you and the baby were fine, thankfully David was there.

As soon as the lockdown was lifted the EMT got into the building and head straight to you, they manage to get you to the hospital in record time. Your doctor was already waiting for you, you forced them to let Jim in with you they were against it at first until

“Listen to me if you want to baby to get out of me in the smoothest way possible without any risk of me being stubborn then my husband will be in there with me. You got that?”

You were so serious than the nurse was terrified of you so she let him in. The whole team were waiting for any news about what’s happening in there. After 2 hours Jim Street walks in the waiting room with a big smile on his face.

“It’s a girl!” he announced putting both his arms up “And Y/n is fine, she’s resting.”

A round of hugs and congratulations went around the room.

“Hey Deacon Y/n wants to see you first.” Jim told him.

They both walked in and saw you holding your little girl in your arms, you look happy and tired at the same time. Jim took her from your arms and gave her a kiss before handed her to Deacon.

“Wow she’s so beautiful.” He rocked her lightly looking at both of you.

“We wanted you to be the first to meet her.” Jim started.

“Yeah, we thought that she would want to meet her godfather.” You continued.

David’s head turned towards the both of you shocked “Are you sure?”

“Yeah of course, we’re sure!” you both said.

“She wouldn’t be here without all your help today, David.” You smiled at him “So thank you for everything.”  

 He smiled “Well let’s just hope she has her daddy’s looks but mother’s behavior.”

Both you and him laughed while Jim acted like he was offended.

“Say that to the poor nurse her mom threatened on the way to the delivery room.”

[flutteringfable]

here’s everything i have jotted down for the infection au. gotta thank my moot @pwupcakess for the initial idea; it was genuinely a really cool and original take on the cutie mark themed infections ive seen going around! i think this au definitely still needs some cleaning and clarification, but i really wanted to play with the idea of a magic-based illness, considering magic is so vital to the ponies’ lives :3

warnings for mentions of death, two (2) mentions of body mutilation (chopping off a cutie mark [not described in detail]) and descriptions of mild gore. nothing too crazy, and honestly i feel like its a bit tamer than most infection aus lolz. still tread with caution if need be!

begins at the flank. around the cutie mark, a bruiselike mark will appear. this mark will darken and spread over time. usually it takes about 2-3 weeks for the infection to reach past the hocks, but in the early stages, it doesn’t appear to grow significantly for a few days.

common flu symptoms begin in the early stages. ponies will feel slightly fatigued, sore (specifically around the flank), and congested. dizziness is also common in weaker ponies. depending on the pony’s health pre-infection, these symptoms can vary in severity.

as the bruise spreads, it appears in patches over the body (think something like swamp fever). ponies’ fur will thin out and in some cases leave completely empty patches where the infection leaves marks.

after the first few weeks, the bruise coloration will have spread to almost the entire leg. at this point, ponies will feel stiffness in their back legs, but the full paralysis will not set in until another week has passed. the previous symptoms will intensify exponentially.

in its third stage, the infection will have spread to the front legs as well. in more severe cases, it will have made it almost halfway up the neck. paralysis won’t set in fully in the front legs until the infection reaches above the ears. ponies can still drag themselves around if absolutely necessary, but the fatigue and paralysis in the back legs, as well as the dizziness, makes it incredibly difficult.

in its final stages, the infection will have spread past the ears and will begin to slowly spread to the rest of the head. it spreads from beneath the chin and behind the ears. ponies will be almost comatose at this point, though most are still able to talk and be fed. the soreness will have dissipated completely at this point, leaving ponies’ legs numb and unusable. it takes about four days for the infection to finish covering the body, reaching the brain and killing the pony.

instead of the mane 6/7/8 (if you count sunset and starlight), the cmc are the main ones working to fight the virus. starlight is still mostly healthy (aside from sleep deprivation and stress), others’ statuses are tbd.

at this point, the cmc are around 9-12ish. they still don’t have marks, and are therefore immune.

chopping off a cutie mark cupcakes-style can also stop the virus, but it leaves a nasty scar and depending on the progression of the virus, it can still leave a pony paralyzed accordingly.

cutie marks go to about the second layer of skin, so it isn’t too hard to carve them out if somepony has a strong enough will or is desperate enough.

spells like starlight’s that change a pony’s mark do not change the effects or speed of the infection (trust her, she’s tried).

the first princess to be infected is luna, and in her haste to find a way to heal her sister, celestia is infected as well.

cadence, shining armor, and flurry heart are all safe, but cadence is struggling trying to decide between going to help the other princesses or staying to watch over her family.

twilight is wandering with spike, trying to find a faster way to create a cure. she contracts the infection while exploring near the original castle.

areas high in magical energy are at high risk to infect ponies. ponies with high magical energy themselves, such as the elements of harmony, unicorns, and alicorns, are at a much higher risk to be infected because of the instability caused by the virus. while infected, these ponies will show more extreme symptoms such as wild magic when trying to cast spells.

when celestia and luna are infected, the land is kept in a perpetual sunrise because neither of them can safely wield the sun or moon.

[atsadi-shenanigans]

Feeding Alligators 34 - Fireside Chats

Y'all take a breather. Leaving you and Astarion on first watch.

Rated M for language and violence (once the sex stuff hits it'll go to E). Updates Saturdays and Wednesdays.

On AO3.

No one has the energy to march back out, and Gale is fresh out of mojo. None of y’all want to camp in the creepy fucking swamp lair, but the alternative is free range bog. You literally feel your White ancestors shushing you, it’ll be fine, the bad thing is gone, is that oakwood flooring?

Amongst all the shuffling and the “what the fuck was that noise”, Shadowheart finds a horde of herbs. A decent chunk of them is the mergrass Gale needs to brew dirt potion, thank fucking god.

You took the fewest injuries, and as Ethel’s dirt potion still works, you take the first watch with Astarion (creepy murder hag house needs two people, no splitting up, your Cherokee ancestors rejoice).

Dinner is cold cheese and slightly stale bread. No one complains; nobody wants to trust Ethel’s stove or fireplace. Probably some kind of murder pit waiting to be activated. Y’all don’t explore much, either. Even Astarion lingers closer to the tent huddle than usual (and they did all put up tents; it’s a psychological thing, you’re sure). He’s quieter, than usual, hands still and unmoving at his sides.

He’s actually too still, now that you look. Barely breathing, gaze shifting around and restless. But the rest of him is unmoving. The hag had been shouting insults at all y’all, and had said something to him about being leashed at one point.

“You alright?” you say, seating yourself nearby.

He blinks. Eyes track to you. “Oh yes, just fine, darling.”

It’s like dropping a quarter into one of them old mechanical pony rides stores used to have outside the front door. A chunk, and a pink unicorn—paint sun-faded and chipped—surges into movement. His face hitches up in a micro expression (smug, sass, all the usual). His breathing increases to what might almost be normal. Even his hands flutter back to life.

Huh.

“How’re you doing food-wise?” you say. “Or, y’know, blood-wise?”

“You’re awfully concerned about my health this evening, aren’t you?” His eyelids droop into that silly, flirtatious dip. “Offering me a snack?”

“Still too soon. And we just fought a hag, which everyone was right about her being a nightmare. So yeah, wanted to make sure you don’t got acid melting through your foot or nothing, sue me.”

“Mmm.” He settles his chin in his hand, one finger tracing up the side of his face. Regards you. “So, how’s the tethering potion working for you?”

Fucking blood potion. Nasty ass, fucking vile thing. The only benefit you feel is the kind of exhaustion has shifted (less depression monotony, more muscles crying in agony) and the chronic headache has, blessedly, fucked right off.

So maybe it’s worth it.

He notices all of this, of course. His smile widens. Vampire man must find this hilarious.

“What’s it taste like, to you?” you say. “Blood, I mean?”

His eyebrows lift. He looks up, thinking. “Animal blood is all plonk compared to—other things. But leagues better than the rats and bugs Cazador deigned to give me.”

Add another bullet point to your list of “reasons to kill that fuckface.”

“What do I taste like?” you say, right as Shadowheart emerges from her tent. She arches a solitary eyebrow and you can feel her judgment. “My blood! I meant my blood, not some kinda, uh, innuendo.”

She makes a “sure, Jan” face and proceeds to leave the circle for the door leading outside. Nature must be calling.

So obviously Astarion grins like a lecher. Bastard.

“Hmm, what do you taste like,” he says. To your surprise, he shifts past the leer and actually seems to consider the question. “Warmth, first and foremost. Salty and savory, but with a hint of spices, rather like a mulled wine.”

“Is that good or bad?”

“Oh, I quite enjoyed it.”

You ain’t blushing. You’re almost blushing? Why in the fuck would that make you blush? Bastard has two modes: flirt and murder hobo, and he only ever means the latter.

Things are so weird, here. The people are weird, the monsters are weird, and apparently it’s contagious.

“So blood is like booze for you?” you say because you gotta shift the tone here.

“Mmm. They are rather alike, aren’t they?”

Unfortunately, being in the middle of a hag house, y’all did not light a fire on her floor. So there ain’t no flames to distract you, and you both sit there for a good moment or two. Watch Shadowheart come back and she absolutely does not give you a “I see you two sitting together over there” glare.

“So,” Astarion says with a goddamn tone. “As a fellow blood drinker—”

“It’s a drop from each of you and it’s cooked with leaves and mushrooms and shit.”

“As a fellow blood drinker, who’s your favorite? I’ve only tasted you, darling, but you’ve sampled the full spread, as it were. Lucky thing.”

“All I taste is like licking an iron pipe.”

“What?” He sounds genuinely surprised. Then he clicks his tongue. “Such a waste.”

You shrug. “No vampire senses, I guess.”

He processes that. An odd look crosses his face and disappears again. And then he’s back to smarm. “So, in the spirit of theoretical questions, if you could taste anything besides that wretched description, which of our dearest companions would you take a mouthful of?”

…is that an innuendo? That sounds like an innuendo. Goddamn, the man never stops. No wonder he’s got a pile of lovers back in his hometown.

It also sounds like he’s actually asking your opinion on which one to nibble first.

“This is theoretical, right?”

He places a hand lightly over his heart, the wikipedia banner image of solemn. “Of course. I’ve wondered about Gale, myself. He strikes me as someone whose blood is rich, refined as a well-aged brandy.”

Gale is a wizard, and they’re probably snooty, yeah? Except Gale has more than a dash of awkwardness in there.

“And then there’s the gith,” he says. “What in the hells do you think she tastes like?

You know jack shit about alcohol. Try to think of some way to add to this conversation without revealing that (people get weird about it).

But he beats you to that non-alcoholic punch. Fake gasps and looks at you, all smugly scandalized. “Oh, but that’s right. You told our dearest Blade that you don’t drink.”

And the man casually leans in to pat your fucking cheek. You jerk back, swipe at him. But he’s already retreating out of range, and continuing on because he’s fucking horrible like that. “You poor, poor thing. That must be so boring, darling. How sheltered are you, exactly?”

Extremely, in some ways. And aggressively not in other ways on very, very purpose because your mother and her band of psychos can fuck right off into the sun, you’re a goddamn adult, fuck you very much.

“You eavesdrop on the regular?” you say.

He taps the pointed tip of his long ear. “Darling, when you have my hearing, you learn everything about everyone in camp.”

…good to know, holy shit.

“I bet Lae’zel is sour,” you say, shoving this conversation back on track. “Like, really sour. Maybe a gamy undertone.”

He pauses, opens his mouth. Shuts it and taps his finger to his chin. “Hmm. You might be right.”

“You, uh, you looking at other necks?”

His smirk morphs into a malicious sneer. “Oh, don’t worry, there’s enough of me to go around. I’m a man of tremendous appetites. Still this is just a little team bonding, eh? Good for morale and all?”

You…feel like he’s saying something else. You ain’t sure what, like hearing a voice in another room but unable to pick out a single word. And before you can try to work on that he changes the subject.

“So, you don’t like drinking? Surely the benefits outweigh the taste?” he says.

Honestly, that gets you more questions than almost anything else (the top contender is the lack of bed partners, because people get real weird about that so you don’t bring it up). They assume it’s a religious thing. And maybe that did keep you from developing a taste earlier in life, but you’d tried plenty ever since (out of spite) and they’re all horrifying.

“Not really,” you say, and stick out your tongue in what you hope is the universal “blurgh” face. “I can drink it in other stuff, sometimes, but I’d just rather not.”

“You dislike bitter things. Noted.”

Did…did he just turn that into some kinda innuendo? Because his tone suggests it is, but the words make no damn sense and you stare at him for a hot minute.

“You’re being real weird tonight,” you say. And immediately regret being so forward and the first twinge of panic uncurls beneath your lungs.

But he only grins and leans back on his hands. “We just murdered a hag, my dear, as you noted. Is it a crime to bask in our victory?”

Everyone and everything was so scared of her. Those still-living people below had been trapped so long. Even Gandrel, a professional monster hunter, was wary of her.

“Guess not,” you say.

“Thank you. And you never did answer my question, you know.” At your blank stare, “If you could properly sample anyone here, who would it be?”

Six tents, yours and his included. Nobody did their extra stuff today—no writing desk for Gale or practice dummies for Lae’zel. Just a closed tent and a bedroll within. You suspect y’all will be hoofing out the second y’all can in the morning, this entire place be damned. The tents are all, to your ears, quiet.

“I dunno,” you say. “Guess it depends on what makes blood taste different. You said it’s life force, right? So wouldn’t someone like, say, Wyll, be better than Gale? Just cause he’s younger? Or is it experience? Fitness? Is diet a factor? I mean, if somebody eats chocolate, it puts sugars and hormones into the bloodstream. Does that alter what you get outta it?”

Now it’s his turn to stare. To blink. “I don’t really know, darling. This is theoretical.”

“Do you want to know?” Because you do. Sweat smells different when the body processes alcohol. Urine smells different depending on vegetable consumption. “The human—er the body is basically a big, interwoven chemistry set. Whole thing is run on chemicals and hormones. So tweaking some a those ought to affect what you get out of it. Unless it’s all magical, vampire bullshit stuff. But we could experiment, maybe? If you wanted?”

And now a slight frown folds the skin between his brows. You’ve gone and overdone it again. Fuck.

“Wyll,” you blurt. “I’d try Wyll.”

He pauses, and then smooths back into that delighted grin. “Ah, I was thinking the same. All that self-righteous heroics. Honestly, that man.”

See? He flirts with everybody. Guy is just a flirty nut. But you two’ve established the foundations of a game, so you look at him. Hold that eye contact while keeping your face blank in the way most other people find intimidating (it’s not anything, you’re literally just holding still).

Astarion, shockingly, only rolls his eyes. “Yes, yes. I have no intention of snacking on our beloved teammates.” Sweeps his gaze to your neck. “Aside from one. When she permits me to end my agony.”

Good lord, this guy. He really is punch drunk off this fight.

“I honestly started feeling a lot better a lot quicker than when I donated back home,” you say. “I’ll ask how that all works in the morning when Gale potions me up. See if the healing juice speeds up red cell production. If it does, maybe you can tap in more often.”

Blood and dirt. What an exciting flavor profile. You almost fold into a groan.

“Really?” Astarion says. There’s the barest tremble to his voice. The lightest touch of what you could almost describe as incredulity.

Acknowledging something that skittish would only send it sprinting off. So you continue as if you hadn’t noticed. “Sure. If you want to?”

And then he leans in. Like, leans in, and his eyelids drop. “Oh darling, I will eat you right up.”

Oookay. You know he’s ridiculous, but the man is upping it to the nth degree. What an absolute goober.

He settles back before you can shove his head. You have to settle for a brushing motion with your fingers. “Yeah, yeah. Keep your fangs in your mouth please.”

The man full on simpers. Clucks his tongue, even. And in the most oozing, sleaziest tone imaginable, “Oh, you sweet, generous thing. I’ll be waiting.”

He’s just too much. You still feel yourself smile, though.

Previous - Index - Next Chapter

[rain-draws-all]

Things I've had Rocky do in DnD

Please note that my brother is the DM and will sometimes put in special interests for the group

Ms Tracy J Butler if you read this, I hope you have a good laugh

He's the only male character in this party. The others are a Tiefling Warlock, a Saytr Cleric, and later on a Half Elf Rogue

The cleric will occasionally just take off her clothes and chivalry dictates he must avoid his gaze

Though he will also just randomly take off his clothes so what the hell

First session did the Old Man River Poem when the chance arrived

Used vicious mockery on a goblin that didn't understand him but felt the need to go home and cry. Then he set its home on fire

Rolled a Nat20 on a chance encounter and had a unicorn nearly trample him

Said Unicorn adores him bc he's a virgin (I'm assuming) and keeps slut shaming his friends

My brother gave everyone who wanted one a love interest, Rocky's is a calico tabaxi ship captain (her name is Astrid)

They have a history but not a romantic one as Rocky lost her 400 gold worth of cargo and broke her ship's mast

Unintentionally got the warlock's hand bitten off by a were shark

Don't worry he had the unicorn fix it (begged)

They all have mounts, Rocky's is a fire bat named Novasa. Almost went with Sludge Rudge Begrudge (a snail) but didn't cuz I almost didn't play as Rocky

Keeps loudly bullying the Cleric for her crush on the local shop keep and now he's unofficially banned from going to shop at the same time as her

Went to an endless party also owned by a Satyr. Said satyr kept acting weird to our Satyr So when we investigated his room, Rocky took his "suspicious" fuzzy handcuffs

He also met a teleporting magic chicken named Margarita at that party. She really liked to nest on his hat

During a fight, he broke a man's legs near a lake. And then just left him by the lake. That man drowned but hey technically the water killed him not Rocky.

Found the undercity by following Mordecai (I get chance encounters with Lackadaisy characters except Freckle and Ivy)

Went to an underground gambling ring with the Cleric, her God is one of gambling so she kept cheating

The workers started to realize she was cheating, so in order to make a quick get away, Rocky loudly announced she was having a baby.

Satyr Cleric was clearly not pregnant but I rolled a Nat20 and got away with it.

Now they won't go back to the casino out of embarrassment (well her's not Rocky)

Later on he somehow, SLAYED A DRAGON. Like he got the killing blow. He kept a fang as keepsake and got a dagger made out of it.

Made friends with a Fae Prince who's just as chaotic as him. His name is Jasper

Helped Treants and as a reward they gave him 10 gallons of Treant Maple Syrup. Currently has 4 gallons left

Set up a daycare deal with a swamp witch named Zamboni (Don't worry he's not the babysitter)

So he's wanted in one city that's not actually a city it's more of a group traveling merchant shops/ships on the ocean. That's where he got his ear nicked in this world

He decided to sneak back on... in drag. DESPITE HAVING DESGUISE SELF

His love interest Astrid gave him a black ball gown to wear and her first mate gave him a blonde wig. Our Warlock did his make up that looked like a 6 yr old experimenting with a makeup set.

I had to roll for every interaction he did. When I rolled a 2 he tripped and ripped the dress down the back. The wig fell off as he tumbled

They immediately recognize him and he went sprinting back to the ship he came on in his underwear and boots.

What he did to be wanted was "accidentally?" set fire to a boat that turned out to have fireworks.

I think this is when his love interest caught feelings bc she's usually stoic but was cackling at this

He ate rocks with harpies

He melted a man's face off for threatening his friends (and his sweetheart) during a pirate battle

During the pirate battle Astrid gave a man four butt cheeks

And a gods damn Turtle Dragon showed up wanting to kill the fighting ships but Rocky knowing the spell Tongues was able to talk it out with her and she destroyed the pirate ship

(Here's where special interests start to show)

They helped Iplier Fischbach King of the Court of Finaf, received a Mr Hippo Magnet as a token

Cooked with Undyne and Papyrus from Undertale (surprise it caught fire)

Had to climb a gi huge fuck tree as he was the only one with claws. Paragliding down with a giant feather that he could barely lift

[dragons-and-magic]

MORE QUESTION TIME! lol😅

Does Whiff wear glasses like humans or just near sighted without wearing one?

Who’s the fastest flying dragon?

Got anything to share about Nia?

What’s the dynamic between James and Percy?

How long can dragons live?

What’s Gordon’s biggest fear?

How did Henry overcome his illness or did he ever overcome it?

Are all eggs from each types of dragons unique or same colour and shape?

Does Thomas ever travel around the ‘world?’ lol

And lastly, are there any unicorns in this AU?

YAY! Awesome!!!🤩🤩🤩 More Lore Dumping! Here we go!

1: Does Whiff wear glasses like humans or just near sighted without wearing one?: He still wears glasses actually! Here's a very very rough concept for him.

Sorry for the super bright green line art. Lol. Whiff a Swamp Drake! A wingless dragon species, that loves the cool murky swamp waters. He does smell pretty funky because he's in the swamp all the time.🤣

2: Who’s the fastest flying dragon?: Oof. That's a tough one. Out of the main cast, I would say Gordon. But, outside the group, I'd say there's quite a few dragons that could rival his speed. Like The Flying Scotsman.

3: Got anything to share about Nia?

OH MY GOSH Yes yes yes I do!!! Here she is! A beautiful African Painted Wyvern! One of the few wyvern species that's primarily a quadruped!

I've been wanting to share about her for SO long! She lives in the African wilderness, with her clan! Well, she used to. Unfortunately, there's not many of her kind left. Just like any other dragon species, human interference was slowly destroying her kind. Especially with the threat of poaching. And eventually, she was alone. But not for long! She eventually end's up joining Thomas's clan, and moving to Sodor!

Also, I actually have a little something for her and James planned. I always found it interesting that they were implied to be close in BWBA. (Wild, right?🤣) So, I might be doing a little something with that... ;)

4: What’s the dynamic between James and Percy?: I would say that in the first few stories, they definitely pick on each other. Percy is a cheeky, outspoken, and very confident young dragon. And James is well... ✨James.✨ Lol. So their personalities do clash a bit at first. But eventually, they became close. Especially after Tale Of The Brave. Percy is like James and Thomas's baby brother and they will both protect him at all costs.

5: How long can dragons live?: Hmmm. That's a good question. Looking at the original series, and how long the engines can live, I'd say that they can live way past 100, as long as they have a safe place to live. Some can even be thousands of years old! Like Hiro!

6: What’s Gordon’s biggest fear?: Being alone. Definitely. He might not be able to express himself properly. But the man lost almost his entire family/species. If he lost his new one, I think he would just break. :(

7: How did Henry overcome his illness or did he ever overcome it?: Okay! So this is an interesting one! He hasn't actually gotten rid of it. He just learned how to work with it. One being his back left leg, which is uh... Gone?😅 A very bad accident happened...😬 ANYWAYS, he has a prosthetic that he makes with his plant powers out of wood, so he can get around. (Henry's New Shape baby!😆😂) It's made of living material, and connected to the Earth. So it's like he never lost anything! His other thing is he has arthritis. I felt this fit well, because some older animals get this and it just seemed to work best out of all the options. He did learn a few ways of reliving the pain though. Being in water helps. He can relax his joints while cooling off. And some herbal remedies help too. I felt like portraying him as working with his conditions, rather than it just going away, was a bit more realistic. He's not an engine, so they can't just replace a few parts and everything is back to normal. Since he's a flesh and blood creature, things would be a lot different. He's most likely still going to feel the effects, even after the fact.

8: Are all eggs from each types of dragons unique or same colour and shape?: They're unique! Just like real life eggs! So many colors, shapes, and sizes! Here's a few examples I came up with! I numbered them too!

Storm Titan Egg. (Gordon's Species!)

Awdry's Blue Tarragon. (Thomas's species! Fun fact! Tarragon isn't just a name for a herb! It's latin name means "Little Dragon"!)

Opal Wing Wyvern. (This species is kinda related to James through his Wyvern side.)

9: Does Thomas ever travel around the ‘world?: Definitely! I haven't gotten that far in the story yet. But he definitely does a little bit of globe trotting. So do some of the other characters!

10: And lastly, are there any unicorns in this AU?: Yep! I'm not sure what characters they would be though. Or what their place is in the story yet. So, we'll see what happens with them! I might make a few characters like Annie, Clarabel, and Flora unicorns.

And that's all I got for now! Thanks for the questions! I had a blast working on this one!😁🫶

[sarucane]

OFMD Spiral Parallels 34: Manipulative Pirate Buddies 5

Intro: What I love most about how season 2 builds on season 1 of OFMD is the spiral narrative structure. Ground is repeatedly and explicitly re-trod from season 1 to season 2, but in season 2 everything goes deeper than season 1. Symbols appear and reappear, transformed. Meanings are shuffled, emotions are stronger and truer, and transformation is showcased above everything. The first season plucks certain notes, then the second season plucks the same ones--but louder, and then it weaves them together to create a symphony.

---

Each of these episodes has subplots that bring home the themes of “the past as a villain” and “the past as chaos and transformation.”

In  Season 1, Jim has left the ship to chase revenge. Their present and future is being controlled by their past, and it’s not bringing any joy whatsoever. Jackie points out to Jim that focusing on the past like this is going to destroy their present, and for nothing really: one of the men who killed Jim’s family just died in front of them, and it didn’t change anything. And in the meantime, Olu is wallowing in pain and losing track of everything important to him.

In Season 2, the reunion of the crew is no smoother than the reunion of Ed and Stede. The part of the crew that stuck with Ed, like Ed himself, fears betrayal. They’ve been damaged by the past, and that threatens to destroy their present. On the other hand, Stede’s crew—like Stede himself—wants to “get back together,” wants the other part of the crew to feel safe again.

In between them we have Izzy, who feels that the past is utterly swamping him, destroying his present and closing his future. He rages at the unicorn, which was destroyed because of his actions. He feels he’s worthless now that he’s a “cripple” and he’s “already gone.”

He’s disconnected from his past and himself, asking his reflection “what even are you?” It’s impossible for Izzy to just “get over this,” as Jackie once told Jim to do. And Ed and Stede can’t just start over and be in easy 14-year-old boy love again. Going forward requires change, transformation that honors and acknowledges the past without being controlled by it.

And so, each plot of the Season 2 episode ends with a transformation. The crew of the Revenge put aside their past hangups to create something new out of a piece of their ship. Izzy accepts the invitation to transform, to become the “new unicorn,” a mythical creature that includes the past but looks towards the future.

And then, there’s Buttons. Who, in “We Gull Way Back,” had his heart broken by the death of a seagull. And who, in “Fun and Games,” turns into a seagull himself. In the first episode, he uses magic for destruction, but in the second he uses it for transformation. Something old and something new, at the same time.

And Stede and Ed demonstrate their own transformations.

When Ed left and came back, he and Stede never talked about what happened. It didn't matter: all that mattered was how they feel about each other right then. The present conquers the past and the future in one go.

Adult relationships keep going after moments like that. They hurt as well as heal, they create chaos as well as triumph. They require the acceptance and embrace of change.

And at the end of the s2 episode, Ed and Stede demonstrate just how much they have changed. They decide to try again, to hope that the past can be lived with and integrated into a future.

After all, if Buttons can turn into a seagull and Izzy can become a ship’s unicorn, anything is possible.

Previous posts in this series

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

[witchermonstermayhem]

Witcher Monster MAYhem 2023 approaches!

Rules:

Anyone can participate.

Any media form is allowed (art, fic, gifs, music, whatever).

You can participate however much or as little as you want, no pressure to complete all the prompts.

You can post your work anywhere on the internet, Tumblr, Ao3, etc.

Tag potential triggers and NSFW accordingly.

If you want to be counted as an official participant and have the chance to be featured on the blog, post your content on tumblr during the month of May. You can still use the prompt list after May ends.

Don't worry if you cannot post your creation on the day of the prompt, as long as it's during May, it counts.

To make it easier for you to fill all 31 prompts, here are some special rules:

You can use just one prompt of the day or combine prompts of the same day (but this counts just as one fill) or you can combine prompts of different days. (If you combine, for example, 2. vampire, 4. cruel claws, 8. full moon, this counts as 3 prompt fills.)

For every new work that you have created for the event, you can post one old work of yours that fits a prompt. They count like new works! (Please tag old works with #old)

You may combine a prompt with a fill for another event!

I can’t guarantee that every single work will be featured but I’ll try to reblog as many as I can.

To increase your chances of being featured here, tag your post with the event name and the prompt of the day that you used.

example 1: #witchermonstermayhem2023, #witchermonstermayhemday1, #too many toes

example 2: #witchermonstermayhem2023, #alt. breathing fire #old

You can also @ the blog, @witchermonstermayhem

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask!

Please reblog and tag your friends who might be interested in the event. Thank you!

Have fun with the prompts! (see below)

@witcherwheeloftheyear

@witcherrarepaircommentexchange

@witchersummercamp

@witcher-bows-and-arrows

And here the prompts as text:

WitcherMonsterMAYhem 2023 Prompts:

1. Too many toes | myriapod | centipede

2. Fearsome fangs | striga | vampire

3. Wicked wings | dragon | wyvern

4. Cruel claws |  gruesome gashes | scar

5. Nefarious necrophages | ghoul | cemetaur

6. Terrifying tentacles | zeugl | kraken

7. Vicious venom | basilisk | paralysed

8. Haunting howls | werewolf | full moon

9. Something wicked in the water | bubbles | drowner

10. Eery eyes | bloodshot | glowing in the dark

11. Hairy horror | yeti | berserker

12. Searing stings | sharp spikes | puncture wound

13. Shimmering scales | mermaid | mesmerised

14. Scary scratching | nasty noises | reverberating roar

15. Clever camouflage | ambush predator | eyehead

16. Creepy chittering | insectoid | metamorphosis

17. Terrible talons | griffin | chernabog

18. Horrible horns | unicorn | impaled

19. Acid attack | archespore | ants

20. Ghastly ghost | hell hound | nightwraith

21. Ancient abomination | leshen | crones

22. Sexy sirens | succubus | seduction

23. Smelly swamps | kikimore | will-o'-the-wisp

24. Treacherous trap | sand monster | grabbed

25. Menacing maw | swallowed | selkiemore

26. Towering trolls | nasty nekkers | grim giants

27. Duplicitous doppler | despicable doppelgänger | shapeshifting 

28. Rare reptiloid | ferocious fish | absurd amphibian

29. Deadly demon | possessed | diabolic djinn

30. Beautiful bruxa | bloodsucking | black bat

31. Cave creature | barbegazi | knocker

Alternative Prompts (alt.)

If there’s a prompt above you don’t feel inspired or comfortable doing, you can switch it out with any one of these alternatives!

Growl

Run

Breathing fire

Scent of sulfur

Blood-curdling cry

Forked tongue

Hide

Undead

Burrow

Turned to stone

Silver sword

Don't kill it!

I hate monsters

Toss a coin

Monster friend

[nancypullen]

Doofus

I hesitate to post about this because I don't know how it ends, but it's amusing enough to share. On Tuesday morning I had a job interview. Yes, I, the self-proclaimed lady of leisure, applied for a job. Mostly because I'm absolutely rotting in this town, but also because it's at the public library. The library - my home away from home, my safe place, my tribe! Every decade of my life, the local library or my school library played an important role. That's why the advertised position seemed like a sign from the universe. Maybe this is how I make Denton feel like home. Maybe this is how I finally meet wonderful people. Maybe this is how I avoid snapping and becoming an old swamp witch with thirty-seven cats. Actually, that last bit is appealing to me. Anywayyyy, I sent in my resume and letters of reference before leaving for Ireland and left it up to fate. Last week I received an email inviting me to a Zoom interview, which I accepted. I was informed that I'd be meeting online with the "hiring panel". Yikes. Facing a panel felt weighty. What questions would a panel ask? Will they think I'm too old? Will they drill me on the Dewey Decimal System? Spoiler alert: I've had it memorized since elementary school. Where do I look. at their faces or at the camera? What if there's a technical glitch and I can't join the meeting? What if they hate me??? A million more questions buzzed around in my brain. So I did what I always do and asked myself, "What's the worst that can happen? What will you do if that happens?" That nearly always takes 99% of the pressure out of a situation for me. I either realize that the issue isn't nearly as big as I'm making it, or if it is big, it's still not the end of the world. Also, once you ask and answer those questions, you've formed at least a loose plan of how to deal with the worst outcome. Once you have a plan in place, nothing seems as daunting. I recognized that I'm perfectly qualified for the position, but if they go a different direction then that's exactly what's meant to happen. It wouldn't impact my family, no one will suffer, and I'd just have to find another outlet for my time and talents. Hardly a life-altering tragedy. That's why I woke up Tuesday morning, did my little 30 minute walk, and got ready for my interview with a lighter heart. The Zoom invitation was starred in my inbox, so I pulled it up and had it on my screen. I positioned my laptop in a spot with plenty of natural light so I wouldn't look like a creeper in the shadows during the meeting. I felt good. BUT... you knew there'd be a "but", I may have chosen the wrong outfit. I don't really own any serious business attire, there's not a blazer to be found in my closet. Most libraries are fairly casual, as long as you're neat and covered, you're fine. I decided to just choose a flattering color, so I'd look more alive and less...sixty. As the clock ticked down to the scheduled meeting time I sat down, cleared my throat, reminded myself who I am, and logged on. The little wheel was spinning and a message popped up alerting the host that I was present. After a few minutes faces started popping up in the Brady Bunch style squares and my brain immediately started playing that old Sesame Street song...

One of these things is not like the others. One of these things just doesn't belong. Can you tell which thing is not like the others, before I finish my song?

Every person on the meeting appeared to be dressed in dark, serious colors (maybe it was just the lighting?) and it looked like a congressional hearing. I looked like a bag of cotton candy. I wore pink. I might as well have put a unicorn puppet on my hand and given my answers that way. This is what the meeting looked like.

Obviously those aren't the real people, those are stock photos, but you get the idea. I felt goofy. I think I may have talked too much and too fast. I answered every question honestly, and I was able to talk about my strengths (that's always hard for me), but I felt like I rambled a bit. You're shocked, right? In all honesty, they were a very nice panel and seemed open and friendly. The questions were thought-provoking and relevant, and the information they shared was interesting and encouraging. I did receive an email a day later scheduling an in-person interview, so they didn't hold my fashion choices against me. I should start searching my closet for the right black or navy outfit for that interview, but I'm leaning toward turquoise. I gotta' be me. *IF* I'm offered a position, they should probably know what they're getting. I may be pink and fluffy, but I'm also capable and nice. Who knows what will come of this, I may get to spend my days in book heaven or I may have to keep looking for my spot in Denton. Either way I'll be just fine, cotton candy doesn't rot. Stay safe, stay well, be yourself. XOXO, Nancy

[mamabearwonders]

Rant.

People will report folks for venting then turn around and reblog about mental health and encourage people to talk about their feelings. YOU'RE adding to the mental health crisis!

Life isn't all cotton candy and sprinkles and unicorns dancing on rainbows. I wish it was. I wish I could live in the Candy Land Forest. You bet. But it's not and expecting people to constantly put on a facade of being happy then throwing a fit about it is all I need to know about your personality.

Here's how their mind works. They find some suffering soul that they don't see as a human being. So they try to dissect them and figure out how to fix them when they're not even broken. They don't want to accept that PTSD leave certain scars that don't fully heal. So they like to give a lot of false hope and if you're not giving in to false hope then you're not trying according to them.

False hope just makes people more depressed. You don't have to be condescending to someone and act like after they've suffered some horrific events in their life they're going to be exactly the same. You can acknowledge what they've been through and listen to their pain and that's what helps. I stuck around my friends this many years because they're not insufferable people.

Where if I'm around people that constantly expect me to be happy or I can't talk about my thoughts without being subjected to going to a psych ward where people are more abused there than helped. Or if I'm around people that think that they can pick my healing for me or force me to heal when I just don't want to like those are the people that aren't even trying to be helpful. They're just trying to play savior. They just see you as a broken project and they want to put you back together.

While people that I know they acknowledge the pain we've been through. They don't guilt trip or force or do anything, but I know that they care. They just know that constantly throwing things in my face is not going to help me and they're just there for me.

These people in their mind swamp I think that reporting people is going to force them to get better. Actually all you're doing is shutting down people for venting about their feelings and thoughts. You're making them feel ashamed of either being a survivor or dealing with shit that's painful beyond all measure. It is so difficult for people to talk about their trauma sometimes.

All you're doing is isolating them from people that understand them and get them. You're taking away their ability to vent and write which is a healthy thing if that's what you're trying to go for thinking that reporting them is going to force them to be healthy well you just took away a healthy coping mechanism and you took away friends which is another one.

It's just this whole act of playing savior and if you don't want to be treated like a lab rat by them then they get all offended about it. If you don't want to listen to people's pain or people's stories you don't have to. You can just scroll by, you don't have to report the person and not cut them off from their support systems.

Here's what actually helps people. Being there, listening, acknowledging someone's pain, not trying to fix every little thing that a friend is venting about and genuinely listen without trying to fix. Basically seen people as human beings is what's going to help people if that's what you're trying to do.

But forcing, manipulating, coursing or bullying somebody into healing especially if it's your version of healing and you're not listening to what they want for their healing it's not going to help anybody if you're taking away somebody's friends and their means of venting is not helping. Basically now they're dealing with the same issues, they just can't talk about their feelings or go to their friends.

[humanoidalien27]

Content warning: Some fluffy stuff

......

Chapter 10

Godric and Salazar

      Anne treated Sebastian differently after reading the entirety of the journal. Unfortunately, she did the same to you. Not that she held you accountable for her parents' death, being Solomon decided to try returning the favor, but she was a bit gentler to Felix afterwards too.

"The teachers will be coming to the school soon for their start of term planning and I think we should try talking to them."

All eyes fell onto Anne, who immediately thought she said something wrong.

"I don't think-" Felix started.

"No, I think she's right. Professor Fig and I did things alone and he died in the end. But, it would be counterproductive for you or Sebastian to be seen."

"You keep trying to shut me out-"

You glared at Sebastian. "I'm trying to keep you out of Azkaban."

He glared, but fell quiet as Felix snickered from behind his hand.

"Given your past, you protecting a convict is a little funny," he admitted, when your eyes slid his way.

"Being you used to be an auror, is it hard to be a convict now?"

He chuckled back, obviously expecting you to snap back, as if it confirmed something to him. "Touché-"

Granny whacked him on the back of the head, startling him out of his challenge stare. "You leave that girl alone or I swear to your father, I will smack you again."

He crinkled his nose. "Mom, you're supposed to be on my side."

"Since when? Besides, she's family too and if you're right about what you see, all of them are."

"Pardon?"

Granny smiled at all of you, the look said not to worry about it.

"No, no, are we family?" You asked, glancing at Sebastian worriedly.

"No, you're not related to them," Felix replied, giving his mom a sharp glance. "Anyway, the teachers will be here tomorrow. Sharp is going to be the hardest to convince, so I'd suggest you talk to him."

You blinked slowly. "Why me?"

"Sharp believes as I do, that you're my child. Especially given what house you ended up in."

"Gryffindor?"

Granny chuckled. "De'lany was from a long line of Hufflepuffs. So, we're pretty confident that you're our family."

You couldn't help but roll your eyes. "Because you're related to Godric and I'm a Gryffindor?"

"It runs in the family," Felix replied, giving a wink.

"Godric Gryffindor and Salazar Slytherin descendants," Sebastian complained softly. "I'm feeling very left out now."

"Sometimes the best place to be, is the one without expectations that come with a prestigious family lineage to live up to," Granny replied and gave a soft sigh. "Anyway, I'm going to go visit that phoenix Felix told me about. I've always wanted to see one."

"I'll lead you Mother," Felix said following after her.

You smirked their way. "I bet a galleon he's going to have a "talk" with his mom."

"I think it's safer to stay out of it," Ominis replied, grabbing your attention.

"So, Omni, are we going to go from great friends until we get older and start fighting about blood status of our students?"

His expression remained unchanged. "Why? Are you going to end up Pureblood crazy when you're older?"

"Not likely, but thank you for finally admitting we're friends."

"I didn't think it needed to be said out loud. I thought it was obvious."

You leaned closer to Sebastian. "Did he just call me stupid?"

"Oblivious, actually," Anne jumped in with a smile. "Though, I'm not, so I'm going to go see the unicorn's in the swamp vivarium. They're beautiful."

She tugged Ominis up to his feet before leaving.

"Odd behavior," you whispered, narrowing your eyes before they flicked to Sebastian who was rubbing the back of his neck. "It's almost like they were ditching us. Do you think Anne has a crush on Omni?"

"She used to, but I'm not sure if she still does."

You climbed up to your feet as you glanced around, missing how Sebastian turned towards you. "Where's Deek? He didn't eat breakfast with us today."

He was almost relieved you spoke, but a part of him was also anxious about it.

"He went to share some of your stress-baking with the other house elves."

You narrowed your eyes, before meeting his. "No one complained before. I can try painting again, I guess. I haven't done it in a long time-"

Sebastian chuckled while you started gathering the plates up. "No one can, your cooking is good, though if you stress-bake, how'd Ominis not ever eat your food?"

"One of our neighbors had lost his wife. I would give it to him so he'd eat, because it looked like he stopped feeding himself."

He moved to help though the left over food was given to the chomping cabbages to keep them happy.

"Can I ask you something?"

You glanced back at him before placing the dishes in the tub of water.

"It must be serious. Usually you just ask."

His expression fell flat at the teasing, but he moved closer.

"Was there a reason you kept helping me?"

"Other than being your friend?"

He gave a light smack on your shoulder with the towel he'd picked up to help. "I'm being serious here."

You shrugged as you moved so your hair would create a curtain so he wouldn't see your cheeks turn red.

"And if I said I did have another reason? Maybe it was a selfish one. What would you say to that?"

"I'd ask about it and whether you're going to keep washing the same plate forever."

You handed it to him, making him laugh. "Shut up."

That only made him laugh harder.

"I liked your company, okay? You weren't angry when I won the duel in dark arts, you weren't a jerk about me being weird with ancient magic, at least at first."

He bumped your shoulder. "Did you have a crush on me."

You pushed another plate into his chest. "I hate you sometimes."

"Is that admittance?"

Unsure about the teasing, you brushed it off. "No, it's not. Now can we finish these. I don't want Deke thinking he's only here to clean all the time."

You rolled your eyes when he chuckled.

"If I had asked you to the three broomsticks for a butterbeer, would you have gone?"

"Why wouldn't I? We were pretty much always on one adventure or another. Down time with friends might have been a welcomed break."

He went silent for a moment, his eyes watching your movements carefully. "I meant...more than a friend."

Struck by his words, you ended up dropping the plate back into the tub, spraying both of you with suds.

"Are you playing another joke Sebastian? It's very poor taste-"

When you turned, you could clearly see the embarrassment on his face as he wiped it clean of bubbles.

He smirked when he seen the ones sticking to your temple and chin. "I don't think a beard is in your future." He carefully wiped it away, his eyes meeting yours only after removing the one on your temple. "I wasn't by the way. Making a joke. I was going to ask... eventually, but our fifth year wasn't exactly lacking in emergencies and adventures. Then by the end of it, I thought you hated me, justly so, but still."

"No, I didn't hate you. Strongly disliked who you were becoming, yes."

"And now?"

So many emotions passed over his face before he dropped his eyes to his feet.

"You're getting back to the guy I met in defense against the dark arts, he's now just a little older and wiser."

"So, if I asked about going to get a butterbeer?"

"I'd say no," you replied, almost snickering at his dejected expression before poking the crease between his brows. "You're still a wanted criminal Sebastian. We can go once all of this is over."

"Guaranteeing we don't die on this new venture."

Scooping up some suds, you plopped it right into his head. "Don't jinx us!"

"I'm just saying!" He laughed, as a sud fight ensued.

By the time you had worn yourselves out, the floor was covered in bubbles as well as the both of you.

"Man, I haven't had that much fun in a long time," he whispered, watching you trying to build something out of the bubbles. "What in Merlin's name are you doing?"

"Shush, you're distracting me."

He laughed again and shook his head. "If I'm that distracting, how were you the top of the class?"

"I'm good at ignoring you when I need to."

He pressed his hand to his chest dramatically. "You wound me."

Rolling your eyes you pointed your wand at the figure and transfigured it into a statue of a fox.

Sebastian eyed it carefully as you picked it up, took his hand and set it into his palm.

"There you go."

"What's this for?" He asked turning it over a few times.

"It's you," you teased, seeing his eyebrow raise. "Come on the similarities between you and a fox are a considerable amount. Playful, mischievous, utter goofballs, curious, adaptive and smart, all good qualities-"

Warmth pressed to your mouth as your vision blurred, seeing only dark brown and speckled peach, throwing you for a second before you realized what was happening and your pulse shot into overdrive while your mind went fuzzy.

Sebastian hesitated like even he just caught up to what he was doing. His hand slid across your skin to the back of your neck as he kissed you once more before pulling away.

His face was tomato red, getting his freckles to almost disappear. "I'm sorry. I keep doing things without thinking, a habit I will try to work on."

"I didn't mind it." You smiled when his eyes snapped up to meet yours, getting your cheeks to heat further. "You can stop staring at me now."

He chuckled, his eyes brightening further than you've ever seen them as his hands cupped the sides of your face. "Never."

This time you kissed him back, though it didn't last long due to him shifting and slipping on the bubbles.

He fell onto his side, but didn't look hurt as you broke out into a fit of laughter.

He gave a small grunt, before grabbing your wrist and pulling you into the bubbles beside him.

"There's never a dull moment with you, is there?" You teased, the bubble pile growing taller as if to hide you two in it.

He watched the side of your face, this was something he hadn't seen in a while. You laughing and truly meaning it.

"I missed you while I was locked up."

You looked over at him, seeing very little from how close your faces were.

His eyes closed, content to just enjoy the moment, but voices could be heard from the upper balcony.

"I guess they're done giving us privacy," he teased, before sitting up, the room already taking care of the suds now that they were no longer needed.

He stood and held his hand out to you, without hesitation, you took it.

You thought nothing if it, but to Sebastian it meant everything that you showed him trust, something he wasn't going to lose again.

Before everyone else came down, both of you busied yourself with the dishes, trying to appear as though nothing had happened.

.....

Previous

Next

[uupiic]

Just thinking about how, if the obvious limitations weren't an issue, you could have a mount almost anywhere in Inquisition. AND how certain mounts could be an advantage OR disadvantage in certain areas.

Like, you can't have a horse in the Fallow Mire, except! What if you could have the undead unicorn! It doesn't care about the undead, it IS undead :') What if the undead didn't care about you walking through their swamp (they live there; it's theirs) because you're riding on an undead horse?! (like. Literally the 'Gothic' approach where wearing different sets of clothing will cause different reactions from NPCs.) It's been done before, only this time, it's a fucking undead horse, not the guard armour.

Mounts can't climb mountains, except for when you have yourself a nuggalope :3 Squeak, squeak, motherfuckers :3

Go a bit further, and make other interesting things. Maybe make it that horses can't go into the area with the volcanic vents (you know the one) without getting hurt and taking critical damage every 5 seconds. But dracolisks or, again, the undead stuff might do just fine.

On topic of the dracolisks, they seem to be like... a breed from much warmer (and originally also wetter) parts of Thedas. I wonder if, instead of the stables, in Skyhold they might, like... roost above the saunas (that you know are there, because uggghhhh cold and an even bigger ugggghhhh for diseases), or the undercroft, or something. Someplace where it's warm all the time. (some of them can also breathe acid, fire or ice; I feel like this (and the fact that the nuggalopes can probably headbutt things right into the fucking Fade) is a thing that should be used so much :3 )

[nancydrewwouldnever]

Completely different subject here, but you mentioned willow, and wow I loved that movie. I feel like I need to watch it again now. And all the other movies I loved when I was growing up...the goonies, the princess bride, and omg the lost boys!! I feel a movie marathon coming up.

OMG, what was with kid's movies from the '80s being terrifying? Willow doesn't really fit that niche, but do you remember things like Last Unicorn, Secret of NIMH, Legend, Labyrinth, and - OMG, the top of them all - The Dark Crystal? I still, to this day, at my big old age, cannot watch The Dark Crystal all the way through. It scares me to death still.

Or, omg, The Neverending Story when the bad thing happens in the swamp with the horse.

And then you had more obvious quasi-horror stuff like Gremlins. Which I also can't watch because the gremlins give me nightmares.

Like, what was going on in the '80s? Was it because of nuclear fear and the Cold War?

[memphis-menace]

15 questions, 15 people

Thanks to @venus-haze for tagging me! I love this kind of stuff

Nickname: Blue

Sign: Leo

Last thing I googled: Feral biting meme (Don't ask why I needed that)

Height: 5'6″

Song stuck in my head: Little Ole Bitty Pissant Country Place from The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (one of my fave musicals, esp. the Dolly Parton movie)

Amount of sleep: anywhere from 2-12 hours, depends on how my day went 

Number of followers: Wouldn't you like to know, weather boy

Dream job: Rich ranch owner. Think John Dutton without all the political nonsense and murder.

Wearing: Red sparkly sweater, white button up, green jeans, black shoes. It's red and green day at work.

Movies/books that summarize you: Movies - Elvis, The Last Unicorn, Tombstone, Steel Magnolias Books - The Last Unicorn, Lonesome Dove, Where the Crawdads Sing, Black Beauty

Favorite song: Good lord how dare you make me pick one. Currently it's Wine Colored Roses by George Jones, but my favorite song since childhood has always been Write This Down by George Strait

Favorite instrument: Steel guitar

Aesthetic: Depends on how I feel that day; is it vintage? is it cowboy? is it swamp witch? is it elementary teacher? who knows. I am a walkung bundle of hyperfixations and aesthetics.

Favorite author(s): Stephen King, Peter Beagle, Larry McMurtry, Louis L'Amour

Random fun fact: I have a buncha farm animals and used to do rodeo and horse shows competitively. Even went to the American Quarter Horse Association World Championships twice.

I am far too shy to tag people so if you see this post consider yourself tagged and do this. It's fun!

[strangejellyfishluminary]

Kraken

I am so very tired of performing endlessly for the world

I am tired of not being masculine enough to be queer

I don’t feel like a woman but the world keeps calling me

Miss. Girl. Little Lady. Have a nice day, Ma’am.

I smile. Act like it doesn’t bother me, but

Every time I’m misgendered the pressure builds inside

I want to scream but that’s not polite

That’s not ‘ladylike’ and it’s not constructive 

But when people ignore my identity

I don’t feel like constructing relationships

I don’t feel like building bridges with people

That continuously treat me like I’m subhuman

Like, i don’t deserve to pee in peace in public

Like, my existence is a phase or trend

As if I’d choose this life of 

‘Not vaguely masculine enough’ to be truly androgynous

‘Not gay enough’ to really actually be pansexual

‘Making too many sex jokes’ to be asexual

‘Not trans enough’ to be genderqueer

‘Not dating enough women, trans, nonbinary people’

To be a part of the LGBTQ+ community

‘Not out to my family’ to be valid

‘Not visible publicly enough’ to be proud of my identity

‘Not struggling enough just to exist’

Who are you to tell me to keep my head up

When I’m barely treading water at times

Gasping for breath, panic at the discovery

That people i thought were ally’s

Have left me out to dry, alone and parched,

Lips chapped from begging to be seen

To be heard, to be acknowledged as a real human being

I am not your unicorn, mystical creature of pure love

I am the kraken, being crushed in the depths of the dark

Vilified for defending myself and being misunderstood

Miss gendered. Miss taken for someone that won’t fight back

But I’m so tired of fighting, of being alone, feeling isolated

From my community. Beaten down, I’m so tired,

You have no idea how tired, I just want to curl up

Stop the fighting, stop trying, stop hurting

Stop the pain. I just want some peace

Some rest. Why can’t I just rest

I need some rest from this madness in my head

I feel so lost, lonely, separate from friends and loved ones

Even amongst this crowd of love and support

I can’t feel it, it doesn’t seep in, this warmth can’t penetrate

The ice barriers of fear, words of comfort get lost

In the swamps of sadness, I cling to Artax, my childhood,

As it sinks and disappears, like my last fuck about life

I clung to my last fuck, hoping that maybe someone would see

Someone would notice, I’m trying, I keep trying

But I just don’t know if I can try anymore!

That’s it, I think I’m done, it’s too late.

You’re too late, no! I won’t accept, I can’t accept,

No! You pity me, that’s the only reason you came back

You don’t actually love me, I don’t believe you!

I can’t believe that you would actually love me!

I’m broken, oh so very broken, and it’s too late to fix this

To fix me, I’m at the end of the rope and dangling

I’m so tired and so sick of being a burden

I just wanted to be loved, accepted, is that so much to ask for?

I used to love myself, but now I don’t even recognize this person in the mirror

Who is that, ugly, pimply, sweaty, nervous wreck!

That red faced, snot nosed, unwashed nasty bitch

She, no, I mean, they haven’t showered in weeks

Disgusting cunt, when’s the last time you brushed your teeth

I can’t look at you, but that doesn’t matter

I can’t even get out of bed or take my meds

Sleeping is about all i have energy for anymore

Waking up from uncertain dreams and nightmares

Where life is one continuous gauntlet of taunting homophobes

And never having a body that fits my identity

And never having friends or family use my name or pronouns correctly

And never feeling safe to exist as my true authentic self

How can I get out of this hell? 

By creating a chosen family, and choosing who gets to be included

Blood related or no, loved ones that respect my identity

Regardless of if they can or want to accept my identity,

Those people that choose to treat me as human,

Those people that don’t call me by my dead name

Those that correct themselves politely

Those that make the effort to use my proper pronouns

That is the bare minimum

And the bare minimum that I can do?

Because the only person I can control is myself

Is to take each week, each day, 

Each hour, minute, second and moment

One step at a time. Deep breath.

Focus. Stop. count the colors in a painting.

Stop. the pain won't stop. Deep breath.

Count to ten. One. two. Three. Four.

I can do this. I can do this.

Five. six. Seven. You’ve got this, Miss Universe.

Eight. Nine. ten. Deep breath. 

Focus. What kind of future do you want to build?

Deep breath. Eat. drink water. Take your meds.

Focus. Spend time with healthy supportive friends.

And I stress that they must be healthy and supportive!

Deep breath. It’s okay to walk away from 

Unhealthy, maladaptive, coping skills as well as

Those codependent or toxic relationships.

Deep breath. It’s okay if you lose some friends.

You will lose some friends BUT 

You will keep the ones that are healthy

The ones that create communities

Be they queer, straight, able bodied, disabled

Whatever form, culture, gender, sexuality, nationality

These communities we create and are a part of

Are full of human beings ready to provide acceptance and love

Community is such a strong supportive resource

Reaching out, spending time with my queer community,

My veteran community, my college community,

Communities that sometimes overlap, 

Communities that I can rely on for support

[vyther16]

wip wednesday!

today is a filler wip wednesday with a fic that i am most likely never going to write because i have been swamped with irl stuff; anyway, please enjoy me slotting the Newsies characters into a Tangled au for 600+ words.

snippet under the cut

my gut instinct is to make Davey Rapunzel and Jack Flynn/Eugene

anyway, i'd adjust the Tangled premise a lot, because a lot of Davey's initial character is that he's working for his family. like, he's working to support his parents. He's protective of les in all versions. in 92sies, he jumps into a rigged fight to protect his sister

so Gothel (whoever that will be) took both Davey & Les. Like, they took Davey and came back for Les when Les was born

and yes, this is mostly to further my "protective older siblings" agenda bc i have a thing about older siblings trying their damnedest to save their younger siblings from their own fate

Sarah is stuck at home worrying and wondering if her brothers are even alive

Jack is Eugene/Flynn. the newsies are the Snuggly Duckling crew. the Delancy brothers are the Stabbington bros

Vladimir (ceramic unicorns guy) is Spot

and please don't crucify me for this but Katherine is Maximus (the horse)

like she's obv human but she occupies the role of Maximus in the story

y'know this au makes Esther and Mayer Jacobs into the King & Queen of NYC/Corona and i for one am here for it

and i'm using the 92sies jack outfit bc i love the cowboy hat, so the wanted posters always get his hat wrong and he's always upset about it

Random newsie at the Snuggly Duckling, holding up Jack's wanted poster: is this you? 

jack: WHY TF IS IT A TRICORN HAT

ok so ig Gothel would probably be Snyder bc i think that makes the most sense. pulitzer is the captain of the guard above Katherine and he isn't happy about Jack running about and captures him. katherine and the various newsies from Snuggly Duckling break him back out so that he can go save Davey and Les from Snyder.

but at the end of the story he gives up and accepts that Jack isn't going to go away or leave his daughter alone

(my bff Katherine & Jack agenda is showing)

and like. Davey doesn't really want to get out of the tower so much as he wants Les to be happy. and Les wants to leave the tower. so Davey figures out how to get them out of the tower for Les's birthday. When he can't convince Snyder to let them go down for a day, he turns to the man he and Les knocked out and hid in their wardrobe. It's a risk, but Davey is willing to do a lot for Les, because Les will never feel as lonely or forgotten about as Davey has for a lot of his life

i already said this but i have a thing about older siblings trying (and often failing) to protect their younger siblings from their fate like, for example, in canon, Jack tries and fails to protect Crutchie from the Refuge

Les wants so much more than this provincial life wants to explore the world and to see the lights and to touch the grass. but Davey, he doesn't care to leave where he's comfortable. he's content to live with Synder's moods and brush his hair and make his paintings and ensure that Les is safe and cared for and happy

and that's the crux of the matter, isn't it? because les isn't happy in the tower. He needs adventure in the great wide somewhere more space than the two bedrooms and a kitchen that the tower offers them

(don't mind my beauty & the beast references but when making a disney princess au i will reference other disney princesses) and davey, as much as he wants to stay where he's safe, will do anything for Les because otherwise Les will leave on his own and davey won't be able to protect him if he's not there with him