#I feel like Spoiler could get up there but id need to read her. Ive only read a comic i took off my dads desk when i was little

[gothamcityneedsme]

ive had a ''fav superhero list" in my head for like a decade but im confirming it now. Dc only list: 1 is obviously superman. 2 is robin (all of them). 3 is blue beetle (also all of them). 4 is. Nightwing.

[m4yasnotthatcool]

SID JENKINS X F!READER

angst + comfort hc fic drabble thingy

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(a/n) nobody requested this, i just made one of my friemds choose 1 or 2 to figure out if i wanna write for sid or freddie, made her choose the format and the genre and then i left her alone😽🎀 (luv u pooks<3)

also girl im listening to some fuck ahh the nbh rn, kill me (i love it, i chose it)

warnings: profanity (its skins, what did you expect?), reader has boobs (very silly goofy, ik.), i think it could be read as gn reader but when i wrote it i had myself in mind so... f!reader?..., also michelle and tony are brefly memtioned at one point (as chelle and tone iykyk), also might contain spoilers(as in, it does contain spoilers)

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•summer is a season both you and your boyfriend, sid, hate dearly;

•you still had sleepovers, only at this time of the year, the heat left over from the day before made it unbearable to sleep like you usually did (which was usually one of you on top of the other if im being honest);

•so here you sat now, layed out on sids bed, a thin sheet covering one of your legs and your lower abdomen, trying to maybe get at least an hour or two of shut eye before the sun would rise once again;

•sitting there, you felt your boyfriend shuffle in his sleep. you didnt think much of it seeing as he often moved while sleeping, until you felt his arm thrown across your abdomen;

• you let him be, thinking that was going to satisfy his yearning for physical contact, but you were wrong;

•not even a couple of minutes later, he rested his head on your chest while his arms hugged you, his hands interlocking behind your back;

•you tried desperately to cool off, kicking the sheets off of your body. unfortunately your attemptes fell unsuccesfull as the obvious heat sorce sitting on top of you had not moved;

•gently lifting him up and laying him next to your spot on the bed, you got up. "ugh, wanker..." you looked at the sleeping teenager next to you. some sheets tangled between your legs made you trip but you cought yourself on his desk, knocking over a few late assignments he had yet to turn in. "well, its not like he would ever get to doing them anyway" you tought as you regained your composure and left the room heading for the stairs.

•you now sat on top of the counter of his kitchen, a glass of cold water in hand from which you periodicly took small sips;

•the only thing you could focus on was the ice cold water sooting your agony as it seemed to indeed help you cool off after the encounter with the sleeping form of your boyfriend;

•"there you are" you heard sids voice come from behind you, a sheepish smile plastered on your face at the tought that his first concern after waking up was you;

•"oh, NOW you wake up" you giggle to yourself as you feel his elbow resting next to you on the counter;

•"what do you mean?" he asks you, tiredness evident in his tone "i mean, yea, ive been sleeping good, but did you try to wake me up or something?";

•"nah, didnt wanna interupt your beauty sleep" you nudge his side playfully "god knows you need it"; "it was just too hot up there, especially with you resting your head between my tits";

•he gasped dramaticly "i would never do such a thing!" ... "sid you and me both know you stare at 'chelles tits whenever we see her and tone' so cut the bullshit" "yea, youre right, im looking at yours right now and they look..." you punch his arm as a warning to not continue what he planned to say;

•"sid, hon, its hot as bollox back in your room, so as much as im flatered by your comments on my great personality id prefer we sleep a little farther apart tonight. you know, just so i dont spontaneously combust while you focus on my boobs on eather side of you head";

•sid slightly laughes before pausing. "can we... go back to bed please?" he avoids your gaze after saying that, making you drop your teasing tone. "sure sid" you say as you hop down from where you were sitting, placing the glass near the sink"are you okay?" you ask your boyfriend,

•"yea, why wouldnt i be?";

•"well, for starters you not only woke up, vut also got out of bed? at 4 am? you?";

•"i didnt know where you went, okay? i just..." he sighed and looked at the floor "i dreamt i lost you too, you know?";

•"well shit..." you murmur as you aproach the boy in front of you;

•you reach out your hands, cupping his face to make him look at you; "look, im here, see? im fine, you dont need to worry, okay?" you say as you reach on your tippy toes, giving him a quick peck before letting yourself fall to your normal height once again;

•"yea... i know" he smiled down at you before continuing "so... can we go now?";

•"sure dude" you smiled back at the boy in front of you before taking his hand and leading him back to his room upstairs;

•its safe to say you didnt get much sleep that night, seeing as he climbed on top of you once again as soon as he feel back asleep, but you didnt get up again; sure, you did try to push him off of you a couple of times, but seeing his persistence you gave up quickly;

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random ahh hc:

after his mom leaving and his dad dying, bro was an emotional wreck;

he became even more clingy than before, trying to somehow make sure you wont leave him too;

so, in return, you had to make sure he knew how much you cared for him;

you know how he followed tony everywhere? and how he showed up at his house? yea, well scratch that, youre his tony now. he shows up at your house unnanounced and ends up sleeping with you on your bed just because he feels like it. like, this of the codependency between him and tony and youve got the general idea of how hed act and what hed do. (their relationship was nothing if not low key homo erotic. well, at least on tonys part ig-);

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okay so thats it guys omg

(i havent written anything in a very long time so im sorry if its ass lmao)

anyway, feel free to point out any spelling mistakes or anything like that, i really dont mind

other than that, have a great rest of your day/night!

[xxthunderthedragonxx]

since ive been wofposting alot i thought i should post my wof deepseaship designs i made a little while ago

if i drew them again now id. probably change a few things again...especially shadows. i dont really like how hers looks? could use a few tweaks(maybe ill make nightwings look a bit like nightfuries.....LOL)

im gonna put the info about them under a cut bc i talk a lot/spoilers for arc 1 and a bit of 2 i think but its not necessary to read lol

their whole thing takes place during the times that the nightwings were kidnapping the rainwings, uh i have not read the books in a while and i dont have very good memory so apologies if some of the info here is incorrect lol

shadow is a blood moon nightwing, um, i am not sure how. im pretty sure i had a reason but i dont really remember. im pretty sure he is like fatespeaker, their powers are really faint. im not sure which powers i decided to pick for them ..they were a mindreader at first but im starting to think a prophet would be horribl- i mean great for them. though i think the 'projecting thoughts to other dragons' idea is real fun and could be interesting with dulled powers like shadow has. well see lol riptide is a rain/sea hybrid, but he got the Sunny Treatment and looks more rainwing. hes from royalty Somehow, so his wings have the royal seawing patterns on them but everyone thinks its just some cool weird pattern. i also imagine rainwings have frills on their head/neck like seawings but not nearly as big (its more in the ears for rainwings), but his is. well. like his hair maybe he does not have venom, im not sure, he can breathe underwater longer than most rainwings tho

i called riptide in this au "rainfall" because riptide is already a canon character, i want to pick a name for shadow as well but ive been stuck on it for a while lol i had one picked but i dont like it so

aanyway long story short, shadow meets rainfall in the rainforest, they fall in love, forbidden love angst happens, shadow is forced to kidnap rainfall to save himself after getting caught, The Horrors happen, and then the rainwings all get rescued including rainfall and they reuinite and happily ever after not realy though because they need to sort out, yknow, the fact shadow did that to him, but,

well they end up together again anyway because its me.

they also have individual backstories as well but i dont feel like getting into that rn, its basically their normal backstories in canon but wof-ified

[bluewormonastring]

My live reactions to season 2 (episode 1)

SPOILERS OBVIOUSLY KIDS READ AT UR OWN RISK

Holy shit I’m so excited

Oh my god

Oh my god

Oauxbwkxjwhz

LOVE THE BLACK SCREEN W A SHARP CUT TO THE BEACH 10/10

OMG WE GET THE STEDE AND IZZY BEACH SWORD NOW? SO SOON? YOU SPOIL ME OFMD

Omg he’s been stabbed this is for sure a dream sequence

STEDE THATS MURDER EVEN IF ITS JUST IN YOUR HEAD

“You absolute twa….” BEST DYING WORDS EVER ILY IZZY ALWAYS AND FOREVER

THE SLOW RUN TOWARDS EACH OTHER OMG

AND STEDES FACE AND HIS VOICE AND AWW BABY

AWWW THE WAY THEY CRASHED INTO EACH OTHER

“BABE” HA FOWIHXBWNA I WAS NOT PREPARED

“I KNEW YOUD FIND ME LOVE”

“Fuckin love the beard mate”

Oh we’ve started farting lovely

OH MY GOD I WASNT PREPARED FOR HOW ID FEEL WHEN IT CUT TO HIM WITH EVERYONE AWW MY BABIES IVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH

“Cant be worse than you moaning ‘Ed oh ed’ all night” ILY PETE

Iconic title screen as always

“DEAR ED” AHHHH

SPANISH JACKIE ILY

Instantly taking an interest in the Swede as we knew would happen but still iconic

Ugh I love Leslie jones did I mention I love Leslie jones

Nat looks so scared aww baby

I love wee John being security

And host stede aww baby

I live for black Pete dealing with working in customer service

And all of them tbh

Aww poor buttons he needs his ocean and Livy

I’m ngl for a second I was like “where’s Fred armisen- oh wait”

ITS THE I THINK OF YOU OFTEN LINE YESS

HELLO YES I ADORE IZZY HANDS HE CAN DO NO WRONG IDC WHAT YOU SAY IVE MISSED MY BABY BOY

Ahh the wedding

“Demon? *shakes head* I’m the fucking devil” AHH

Guys were only 6 minutes in and this post is already long as shit so buckle up (if ur actually reading it lmao my ass would be like nope too long”

THERES MY VICO HELLO VICO ILY AND MY JOEL FRY ILY BABIES

Ah yes ye olde put trauma in a box in lock it

Awww fang baby boy someone give him a hug find him Lucius

Omg it’s the “you dumped him” scene

“Did everyone get some cake” because he’s still our precious little angle

HE JUST SNORTED RHINO HORN IS THAT A THING WAS THAT A THING IN HISTORY HUH

NO ITS THIS SCENE I DONT WANNA WATCH MY BABY BE SAD

Yes hello I love Izzy hands I would protect him with my life little baby boy

Vico looks so done w his ass

Someone give my baby a hug

Ily fang

The tears in his eyes during “unhand me” aww Angel

AWW IZZY

CONNOTHAN O NONNATHAN WE LOVE YOU YOU PRECIOUS LITTLE BOY UR ABSOLUTE PERFECTION YOU ANGEL

I love the friendship Jim and that girl have

Oh shit Jackie

“BOO CAKES” JACKIE

Stede honey you’re not intimidating

“I know that guy we had breakfast together” “you’ll be having a lot of breakfastes together” “oh okay 🙂” ily Swede

HIM DOING AN ED IMPRESSION LMAO “could be. Could be mate.”

“You’re my hero” 😞😕🙂😏

Swede bein a cute lil double agent

AWW SWEDE “my time with Jackie has been the happiest of my life. Her love has helped me locate parts of myself I didn’t even know existed and reclaim others that I have long missed” ILY

“Tonight is my turn to perform the husbandly duties”

“That’s another toe” ED YOU STAY AWAY FROM HIM LEAVE MY BABY ALONE

“Who am I to you” aww Izzy Angel baby he’s accepting it OMG “I have love for you Edward” IZZY YOURE SAYING IT OUT LOUD IM SO PROUD OF YOU BUD

IZZY YOU DID NOT JUST SAY TALK IT THROUGH YOU HAD TO HAVE KNOWN THAT WAS A HORRIBLE IDEA

OMG AND THE SHIFT IN THE MUSIC AS SOON AS HE SAID IT

IZZY RUN

RUN MY BABY BOY RUN

“As a crew” OH EDDDDD

ED DONT POINT A GUN AT JIM

OR ANYONE ELSE

THAT INCLUDES YOURSELF EDWARD TEACH BORN ON A BEACH

“They think ya crazy” cackling his face omg

Go taika absolutely slaying this scene

The way the camera is all like jittery is so good

Jim’s like “beard” makes their chin look like… not caved in but idk like it looks like they have a rly bad overbite yk

“Everyone knows why” “I don’t. Enlighten me” “your feelings for stede fucking bon-“ *GUNSHOT* ARE U SHITTING ME EDWARD NO WE DO BOT SHOOT FRIENDS

OH MY GOD HE MADE FRENCHIE FIRST MATE HOLY SHIT

Oh my god Izzy my poor baby Izzy oh my god how dare you hurt my Izzy

LMAO SWEDE

“FUCK THOSE HAMMIES UP” LMAO

There’s like no way there’s actually anything valuable in that chest

WE GOT TO SEE HER TAKE A NOSE FOR THE NOSE JAR YESSS

OH SHIT INDIGO

“Now give me back my blue shit STEVE”

Susan’s hot

DONT HURT SWEDE

Oh good okay we’re cool

I feel like she’s lying tho

But for now we’re cool

AWW FANG

AWW JIM COMFORTING FANG

“WANNA HEAR THE STORY OF THE WOODEN BOY” AWW

Living for vico using they them for the puppet

“DO THE VOICE” AWW

OMG VICO THATS ICONIC

AWW YAY THEYRE LAUGHING NOW THOSE ARE MY BABIES YAY

Living for buttons reuniting with the ocean

Okay roll credits cheers yall see you next episode

[alicenpai]

reading medalist!! blog thoughts june 28

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medalist is getting an anime soon!!

this was the 1st image i saw of the series and i was like why is reigen there

i think it was inevitable that id enjoy this series bc i love witch hat atelier (and i think Shirahama-sensei may have retweeted medalist at some point). medalist has a similar wholesome and inspiring premise about a kid who works to achieve their dreams, as well as a commentary about how adults have to look after and guide children correctly and most importantly to not abuse that position. (glaring at the moms who gave inori that mental breakdown... moms always pit their kids against one another and it's really. kinda awful if the kid is having episodes about it!)

inori has the funniest faces

anyways ill continue to update this post here and there. more under the cut, i'll have some character analyses which will probably contain spoilers

every series needs to have their edgy character huh!! (even if it's set in reality and not some fantasy world)

i thought this girl would be edgy like her mentor too, bc i saw the art before i read the manga. but she's surprisingly supportive and her relationship with the main character inori is really wholesome.

i actually always wanted to get into skating more!! i remember skating a lot in the rink in the winter i was in grade 4. it was so fun.. we moved out of the area the following year so i couldnt go back to that community center, but ive always wanted to skate again after all these years. bc of financial reasons though i could never attend lessons for any hobby as a kid. it doesn't sound that bad i think hobbies are a huge thing in our culture here, and i think it had a huge impact on me and how i tend to feel fomo easily. when inori's mom brought up the subject of money for her kid's skating lessons i felt that so hard LOL.....

[autocann1bal]

whoever asked for my lockwood and co playlist, you are in for it :)

so ive decided to give the link to the playlist as well as come up with scenarios for each song so this is. gonna be a big doc. (also book spoilers)

heres the link to the actual playlist (ps if anyone knows the artist please let me know!!)

luv l8r - mom jeans im going to be honest, stole this from a fic, not much to say, just a song that reminds me of them

september - sparky deathcap the instrumental just gives cozy vibes, like something theyd listen to together whilst reading in the library, possibly cuddled up on the couch who knows. maybe even a cheeky little george pops in to bring them more tea, and sees them cuddled up on the couch and smiles before leaving the tea at the door as not to disturb them (alternatively: he joins them bc romantic locklyle + qpr george is a wonderful thing)

buzzcut season - lorde LOOK IDK ITS JUST SO THEM I CANT EXPLAIN IT THEYRE JUST SO. its a song with such a nostalgic feeling and i feel like it fits them, its a sort of montage song, at least to me. its a song that reminds me that theyre kids, because they really are just kids being put in these awful situations.

stars will fall - duster yet another library song, less romantic this time id guess, more just all 3 of them reading respectively in the library. lockwood probably reading old newspapers, lucy some sort of novel, and george either reading his comics or researching for a case.

drip drip drip fall - ewy a lockwood song, do with that what thou shalt :)

main character syndrome - wilbur soot another lockwood song. hes got main character syndrome and we all know it. seems a kipps vs lockwood sort of song yk? the lines "its not a problem its his niche" and "he smiles with only half his face" feel so very lockwood to me.

evans song - flower face OMLGFHKJGFHKJFJGH. its lucys song to lockwood. we get plenty of lockwood being a pathetic simp, but what about lucy? "to think i thought ive loved before, to think i fought so many wars" feels like a lucy line. she loved norrie (romantically and platonically (personal hc)), but shes never loved someone the way shes loved lockwood. theyve saved eachother countless times. i love them <3

shadow moses - bring me the horizon my playlist is. all over the place and you can really tell with this one. im not really sure specifics for this one but its definitely an angsty song so something along the lines of lucy getting ghost locked and lockwood panicking -> "can you tell from the look in her eyes/we're going nowhere"

call me what you like - lovejoy feels very "lockwood using holly as a replacement for lucy after she leaves" sort of deal. i will go more in depth on this one if anyone would like but i fear it may make the post longer than it needs to be just please dont attack me over this dhfdfgkjg.

a pearl - mitski HMHMMHMHMH necklace. the pearl is the necklace, lockwood is the war, shes fallen so deep in love. again this is post her leaving, pre her return. shes in an inn somewhere swirling the necklace around her fingers, missing him more than anything, thinking he didnt want her there. pain :D.

long long time - linda ronstadt MWAHKAHKJDFG this ones for the tlou fans. yall know :)

under the weather - corpse like i said. very all over the place playlist. yet another lockwood angst song, probably some sort of sickfic type deal, but more lockwood needs a mental health day and lucy (+ possibly george, depending on your personal hc (i am so mentally ill for romantic locklyle + george qpr)) caring for him and just. cozy vibes but also really sad bc <33

all we ever wanted was everything - bauhaus RAHHH SHOW CANON SONG. its just so them <33

blue hair - tv girl YOU CANT TELL ME THIS ISNT A LOCKWOOD SONG ITS SO HIM CMON. minus. the. misogyny yk

chemistry - kimya dawson lucy song [everyone gasps]. 'how did we end up here?/you said happenstance' hmshdhrg lucy asking lockwood how they ended up in the Consensual Workplace Relationship and they just talk and talk and talk afterwords, probably sometime late morning yk cozy just woke up vibes.

clementine - elliott smith herrhfhf scrungly soft locklyle vibes in the morning, waking up together, getting ready for the day together, they end up dancing in the kitchen to this song smiles i love them cries wails sobs

bouquet - ichiko aoba do i know what shes saying other than the flowers? no!!! is it cozy vibes? yes!! they are falling asleep after a long day listening to it i cant explain why

empire ants - gorillaz ft little dragon i. honestly do not know. another song similar to buzzcut season, feels like a reminder that theyre just kids. very well may be a lucy breakdown song who knows :)

it will come back - hozier we got our first hozier song boys. lucy leaving, lockwood breakdown, listening to this on repeat hoping wishing praying that she'll come back.  wishing more than anything.

rule #27 - drunk on pride - fish in a bird cage lockwood is constantly drunk on pride, everyone knows it, everyone feels it. this is probably something along the lines of lucy and george being worried for him as he goes into a particularly dangerous job, fully confident and all to prideful. he comes out of it alive, but damaged.

tree hugger - kimya dawson im a bitch for kimya dawsona and fluffy ships but this also is a sort of 'they all wish they where somewhere else, but are happy with eachother too' kind of thing which proabably doesnt make much sense bUT IT MAKES SENSE TO ME OK CSHHSHSHSH

https://open.spotify.com/track/1F9f5t7GZk7aJZNGZIbfqP?si=c653de10148f4de5 <- link because youre nuts if you think im attempting to type out morse code lockwood just being a pathetic simp. probably watching her dance in the kitchen, late at night when neither of them are supposed to be awake, admiring everything about her till he eventually joins in on the dancing, they dance together into early hours of the morning before she carries him (YEA SHE CARRIES HIM WHAT ABOUT IT) up the stairs to lockwoods room, where they sleep for the rest of the day :>

locked out of heaven - bruno mars Ik the song is relatively sexual but we arent going there dw. just more lockwood being a hopeless romantic and being wildly in love with lucy, lucy is his heaven and he wishes to be nowhere else but with her at all times.

teenage dream - katy perry yk i had too. again, theyre teenagers, they act like teenagers. probably the song playing in lucys/lockwoods head constantly because shes just so giddy about their silly teenage love.

answering machine - ruby haunt to much happiness, angst now. a song lucy had on repeat walking the streets of london early in the morning to get coffee after she had left lockwood and co. maybe even walking past portland row, missing it dearly. little does she know, lockwood sees her, he hasnt slept a bit since lucy left, he usually just stares out the window into the night. but one day, he sees her walking past. he doesnt get out of bed that morning.

sleep thru ur alarms - lontalius i said we where done with happiness. more lockwood mental health issues but this time its the aftermath. lucy sitting in her room after a particularly bad fight with lockwood that had turned into him collapsing in her arms. shes just thinking about everything he said.

the first punch - pierce the veil im gonna be honest i meant to take this one out but its just there now i got nothin im low on gas and you need a jacket - pierce the veil i think lucy just like this one idk

heart-shaped box - nirvana lockwood feeling awful about asking lucy for help, sitting in his room thinking about it.

safeword - tv girl lucy telling lockwood about her time in her old town. about her old home.

fine - lemon demon me when i have like 8 million songs abt them being teenagers doing silly teenager things.

chloroform girl - polkadot cadaver UR GONAN TRY AND TELL ME THIS ISNG LOCKWOODS MUSIC TASTE BE FUCKOING QUIET he likes this song :)

swear to god the devil made me do it - the front bottoms god tfb is just so lockwoodcore. its just so him i cant explain it you understnad me maybe hopefully

flying model rockets - the front bottoms HOHOHOHOHOHOHO so lockwood dont you think. dont. dont you think. please agree with me.

blondie - current joys more cozy library/morning vibes. maybe some soft domestic little kisses as a treat.

young - vacations back to the angst. more pining and mourning after lucy leaves hee hee.

pretty boy - the neighborhood HES A PRETTY BOY SHE THINKS HES A PRETTY BOY THEY ARE PRETTY TOGETHER I LOVE HTEM CRIES CRIES CRIES

pretty boy - tv girl be quiet ik they have the same name they are so drastically differnet vibes. something something lucy thinking shes not good enough for lockwood bc she grew up poor and he was a rich little bastard /aff. but yea late night angst

it almost worked - tv girl RRUUFUFU angst they are so sad sad little people lucy is a sad little lass in her tiny little town she will never get out sobs.

space song - beach house wails cries sobs screams them. i will not elaborate.

golden hour - JVKE oh my GODD lockwood is such a hopeless fucking simp. hes such a stupid hopeless little simp. for her and her only all he looks at is her shes the best thing ever shes so beautiful all he does is take her in. they are in love.

who is she - i monster he doesnt believe she exists. shes not real. shes in his dreams. hes having a breakdown :)

always forever - the cults back to happy!! they are in love!!! always forever!! they will be together forever!!!!

gilded lily - cults SOBS SCREAMS CRIES WAILS EATS THEM THEYRE JUST KDIS THEYRE FORCED TO DO THIS HORRIBLE JOB BUT HTEY ARE JUST CHOLDREN THEYRE JSJSUT KIDS DJFGHJHA

pretty when you cry - lana del rey god theyre so sad. george lucy comfort lockwood that is all thank you.

carmen - lana del rey oh deary. oh lockwood oh my poor bbg   

paper doll - flower face this is so lucy. shes a fragile paper doll and lockwood cares for her. but she feels like shes not enough she feels unworthy. lockwood is to good for her. 

 the night we met - lord huron OH MY GODDDD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD theyre so they mean so much to me im crying you understand i dont need to explain.

paper doll - flower face this is so lucy. shes a fragile paper doll and lockwood cares for her. but she feels like shes not enough she feels unworthy. lockwood is to good for her.

angela - flower face can you tell i like flower face. remember lockwood being a hopeless simp?? lucys turn!! lucys turn!!!!!!! shes so simp shes so simp but in such a sad way shes os in love with him but shes so worried he'll leave.

spiracle - flower face hee hoo hee hoo lockwood breakdown. more lockwood breakdowns, but this time its before he and lucy where together. its just him panicking late at night about his love for lucy, afraid he'll end up killing her with his love because nothing good comes from letting people in. 

jupiter - flower face THEY FEEL SO SAFE TOGETHER THEY ARE HOME TOGETHER THEY ARE EACHOTHERS HOME. lucys home is with lockwood and george at portland row :DDDDDD

small world - jack stauber cozy coffee run vibes ykyk domesticity

death cup - mom jeans 'i think its bout time i warned you i might cry in front of you' oh come ON thats so lockwood this entire song is just lockwood opening up to lucy.

legit tattoo gun - the front bottoms lockwood tfb agenda is spreading. 

insomniac - memo boy lockwood insomniac real hes so not sleep the dark circles are so visible im. emotionally unstable.

post to long. need part 2.

[minheeskitten]

"2k is long" is also nonsense i'm so sorry 😭 2k is barely anything if you're trying to introduce an AU and actually flesh in a setting and especially if you're trying to show different personality traits 😭 your fic are mostly AUs with really well thought out lore, and it needs the word count to breathe and establish everything. if someone's attention span is too short to read more than - what - 2 pages? that's their problem, not yours! fwiw, my fic lengths range with the shortest starting at around 5k and the longest getting close to 30k and i have never had anyone leave a complaint about the length! people are more than willing to sit through 10k+ just to get to the smutty stuff, and they usually end up enjoying the rest of the fic as well. do not worry about it! you're doing just fine 🩷

I don't often look at the length of a fic unless im updating someone on how long its getting. My shortest wip is 100 words. And. Ive posted it to here bcs i feel it'll never be finished.

If it does get finished eventually then i will post it as a fic but. Until then it sits in my drafts.

My fics almost always include worldbuilding to at least 3k now. Though not all of them were like that.

Do you want in on a secret? I don't think out the world for my aus. It fleshes itself out. I think on what may happen n go from there. The story writes itself. I am just a vessel for the words and visions.

I am absolutely terrible at worldbuilding if im doing it consciously.

Its why i have visible headcanons for idols. But i just can't put them into words haha.

The most i think through is 'what sort of details would enhance this and make it better to read'

And then thats where i go from!

Siren!ivan was originally supposed to be more non-con than it is rn. The consent is not proper consent tho but thats bcs. Well. Siren wants what he wants and he will convince dann to give it to him.

Though. Thats a little bit of a spoiler. It is going to be tagged accordingly. Don't worry ill tag fics right.

The fic i thought through the most, probably is one ive not even started wtiting. The dissection fic. I gotta do all sorts of research so i can make sure its accurate and well done.

Which unfortunately means i gotta look at anatomy from a more medical standpoint. Need to go find a book for that..

The first fic i put out actually has a very strong plot hole. That i told myself id patch before posting it but. I didn't.

That plot hole was the reasoning as to why ivan was doing that to hwon. It has a very weak reason and i could absolutely fix it now. But. Not this year.

I write ab 5k minimum most of the time haha. I prefer letting the story fill itself out n then helping fine tune details. Its why i really can't tell you how long a fic may be.

So far my longest fic is 16k words. Published. Theres more unpublished. That's for the abandoned but not orphaned one.

I may return to it eventually. That's why i didn't wanna orphan it.

All of my fics stop at a point they organically would have stopped at. When i feel it can't really take another scene. I end it. That usually leaves spaces for part twos to them as well!

But i like exploring aus as i write them.

Fun fact! I write aus bcs im worried that if i do anything else i may accidentally copy someone else's idea.

I do get inspired by the other kd writers. Oh gods do i get inspired.

Lee, lunar, eve, even erin, who encourages the hwonicide. They all inspire me in their own ways. Does that usually come in the form of a prompt to note down asap? Yeah.

But other ways are helping with details for fics. And they are all very welcome to chat ab fics w me. I don't steal ideas. Not without permission and changing it to be my own.

I have a prompt that is inspired by eve's fic Clear My Mind (eve is karmacumover btw!)

But it is different. I may show her the prompt itself if she wants to see it haha.

But i love working on fics. Even if I can't be proud of them as a 'look i made this!' i can still look at the work and go 'yeah. Thats good.'

Thank you lee for helping me figure out how to do that. It was amazing to be able to step back and go 'thats a good story' if i removed myself from it.

The lee im referring to here is intenselysalmon. So she knows who im referring to.

One day. One day my goal is to be proud of how much I've written. Of what I've written.

Its a goal i think is far away. But the more i talk to other writers. The more i realize.

Im not as bad at writing as i think i am.

Honestly id never even considered myself a good writer, until i asked writers like lee and erin their feedback on my works. And they both said i write well. Maybe a little dialogue heavy but. Thats fine i can work on it.

Im doing my best. And im trying to ensure i continue getting better.

The more i talk to other writers and see how they talk ab my writing. The more i go. 'maybe im too harsh on myself' but. As they say, you are your own worst critic.

Honestly i never even considered my work good enough to do much with. But. Lunar still offered to possibly do a collab or fic trade. And i keep thinking on it. Maybe.

It makes me think they find me a better writer than i find myself to be.

Then i see eve, reacting to some of the xlips of airen!ivan ive put out. And she's reacting as i would for any of lee's clips. I find lee an amazing writer. It seems eve thinks of me that way too.

Im trying to wrap my head around it. But the reason i am so harsh on myself is. Anxiety and self doubt. And i need to work through them.

Thats the first time ive admitted that.

I will work through my weaknesses, and be better than before. Slowly. It takes time. I have to be patient.

One day. One day i will be able to proudly say 'im a good writer'

Its not today. But. It will be an eventuality.

Moots mentioned in this post:

Lee (@intenselysalmon )

Erin (@kurenaiwataru )

Eve (@karmacumover )

Lunar (@kingdoms-babygirl )

[fujoshiwarrior]

i hope you don't mind me adding on to this because i was going to add this as tags but it was starting to get super long (also canto v spoilers):

hong lu has a line in canto v that struck me as random and out of place, and like there was absolutely no reason for it to be there at all. it's this line:

this line goes completely unacknowledged by everyone in the room, even sinclair who just asked him what he was humming about. so what's the point behind having him say this line at all?

afterwards when the sinners discuss if they should go with ahab, hong lu says they don't really have much of a choice but to go with ahab since she was heading to the heart anyway and they don't know left from right inside the whale.

in typical hong lu fashion, he seems kind of airheaded with his suggestion and maybe one could argue that he was naively trusting ahab (if you didn't know any better, of course.) the added context of him pretty much verbatim saying that they have no choice but to go along with ahab gives me the impression that this line was him openly doubting ahab (quite convenient that she just so happened to be on track to lead them exactly where they want to be, hm?) without compromising his carefully crafted airheaded bimboy image he's maintained thus far. it's also worth pointing out that while everyone was deeply suspicious of ahab, the only one who pointed out (or had any idea of) ahab's tendency of seeing straight through people right to exactly what it is they want in order to exploit their goals and desires was ishmael. but hong lu's line here pointing out that it's suspicious how ahab just happened to have the same location for her own goal so they should totally work together and trust her implies he immediately picked up on her tendency to manipulate others' desires for her own benefit. his suggestion to follow her to the heart might seem to contradict this, but he's right that...they really didn't have much of a choice, because feeling their way through the whale would be significantly riskier than having this person albeit suspicious lead them to exactly where they need to go. hong lu seems to have a very good grasp on other people in spite of how tactless he tends to act, this is particularly evident in canto iv in his interactions with yi sang.

this was meant to be more of an aside to what i intended to talk about which isn't related to canto v, but the mention of the ambiguity surrounding hong lu even in his source material and the cutthroat nature of his family reminded me of that.

what i meant to talk about is that hong lu's brother's name is "jia huan", and "jia" seems to be the family name im assuming? this was a random thought i had while reading your post, but what if hong lu isn't related to the jia family and was adopted into it? there's no evidence suggesting this of course, but it made me think for a bit. it would help explain why jia huan doesn't like him, though there are thousands of reasons for why that might be.

another thing i wanted to mention was a color fixer mentioned named the jade qilin

iirc, the jade qilin is first mentioned in library of ruina? i think? but i remember that before the release of limbus company, on the limbus company account there were tweets posted that detailed a conversation between roland and gebura about the current state of fixers. gebura asks him who the current strongest fixer is, and it leads into a discussion about various fixers: two names of note that roland mentions are the red gaze (who we know as vergilius), and the jade qilin.

as you outlined, jade is associated with hong lu and plays an important role in the dream of the red chamber. we know literally nothing about the jade qilin as of right now, but i don't think it's a stretch to say they're probably from hong lu's family.

something that's been on my mind is if hong lu comes from such a rich family...why is he even working as a low grade fixer at limbus company? some of his ids (namely his w corp id) suggest that he was hired because of nepotism. compared to chesed from lobotomy corporation, hong lu is a mystery because we were given an explicit reason why someone so rich was interested in a dingy lab in the middle of nowhere: because he genuinely believed in the seed of light project. granted, limbus company itself is very mysterious and plenty of the sinners' motivations for joining are murky, but hong lu strikes me as particularly strange because again...he's rich. he could have gone anywhere he wanted. jia huan being a part of a rival faction also vying for the golden boughs suggests that maybe their family wants something with the golden boughs, and considering how competitive we know the family is it probably isn't a stretch to think hong lu and jia huan would fight each over who gets it---the question then becomes why they, or why their family, wants the golden boughs

(i realize this is all just my personal speculation, but hong lu is definitely something)

ok i was cooking up another hong lu analysis thing bc i noticed SEVERAL things in his base id art the other day and wanted to share with the class but they just dropped a new one in the canto V trailer and i have some stuff i wanna talk about that one:)

My Hong Lu knowledge and interpretation is very heavily influenced by reading Dream of the Red Chamber, which may not be the best because I don’t know how much Limbus will pull from the book because it’s Long as fuck but I think it’s given me a deeper knowledge of Hong Lu.

Keep in mind this ego is NOT out yet so i could be totally off base depending on what the full animation/corrosion/sin affinities are like and this is totally theorizing but I wanted to have a go at anyway!! And this got totally out of hand so reading is appreciated :)

One of the first things I noticed here is this Hong Lu seems VERY Bao-yu. We still don’t know for sure what Hong Lu is within the context of Red Chamber (i don’t think it’ll be straightforward considering how that book works) but it’s important to note!

He has this little hat on (this is the best pic i can get atm to show it’s not a fancy hair tie, unfortunately the footage we have rn is a little scuffed)

and Bao-yu is ALWAYS depicted with a hat like this.

This could just be because that’s the appropriate outfit for Chinese nobility (I unfortunately have little to no reference point here, feel free to correct me, but from some quick searches hats aren’t ubiquitous and ESPECIALLY not ones of this style.) I think it’s worth noting because it comes up in nearly all modern depictions of Bao-yu.

There’s also the pearl Hong Lu is wearing on his neck/chest area, which is where Bao-yu wears the magic jade he was born with. His jade is translated into Limbus as Hong Lu’s jade eye, but this plus his hat and the abno’s themes REALLY makes me think we are dealing with some Bao-Yu stuff here.

Speaking of the Abno’s themes, now i can actually go over them! All we have for Walking Pearl right now is the MD event (as well as general observation), but there’s a few things that are relevant.

Just based off design, the abnormality seems to be mostly about the precious (the pearl) and the filth (the muck) intermixing. which makes sense with the EGO being named “Effervescent Corrosion” and our holders being Hong Lu and Rodya.

There’s some symbolism around greed/wealth (the offspring filled muck desiring the pearl and fighting for which one will earn it? the muck tarnishing the pearl? ) and I think we should read into that because it’s Hong Lu and Rodya who have this one and they’re both very tied to their financial status. Those two sharing an ego makes me insane for a bunch of reasons but that’s probably for another analysis piece! But duality is REALLY important for those guys and that’s a theme they’re emphasizing here with both the pearl and muck within the clam.

There’s also some elements of shelter/protection/potentially entrapment with the clam’s shell which are HUGE for Hong Lu, especially with his egos so I think those may come up.

But mostly it’s about the mixing of the precious (likely “wealth” here) and the unsavory, which works very well with what we know of the Jia family. The design likely referencing Bao-yu and thematically dealing with the Jia family makes me think each of those individual readings are more likely because they’re deeply tied together!

And now onto the MD event! I did not write this in order so I may repeat stuff here but. I realized I had to cover the design first so here we are!

First thing that stuck out of me is this portion when you choose to sample some of the clam’s slime.

Sibling/family infighting is very Jia family. It reminds me a lot of this line base Hong Lu says.

You could take this a step further because the clam is something that would typically offer shelter from the rest of the world, and even though it protects, its offspring continue to kill and eat each other.

It seems fine, the offspring have this lovely shell for protection, and they have the precious pearl held within, but even as they are sheltered and wealthy. They are still getting killed and eaten by one another! Reminds me of someone I know:)

It reminds me of some bits in the later half of Red Chamber, where family members more obviously start acting behind each other’s backs or turning on each other, some even killing other family members.

Another part of the MD event that I got something out of was the beginning portion.

using specifically jade as the color for the seawater is a Hong Lu thing. I may be reaching with this bc it’s more than likely just flavor text BUT when taking this color with the fact that there’s nothing in the water it makes me think of an important scene in Red Chamber where Bao-Yu is described as an empty shell, so I wanted to mention it. We know Hong Lu has TONS of water motifs, especially when relating to his family (see his base ego)

The main reason I brought up this section of the MD event is because of the question brought up by the last portion.

If you take one thing from Dream Of The Red Chamber into your perception of Hong Lu as a character, it should be the themes of ambiguity, duality, and being between binaries. Because he sure as hell does that a lot!!! (and i’m not just talking about his gender) He is both genuinely curious and sheltered with an urge to learn as much as he can, but he also plays dumb frequently, backpedals and asks a lot of stupid questions on purpose to maintain others’ perceptions of him. He is CONSTANTLY walking the line between truth and illusion and it can be hard to tell which is which and precisely how much is fake or real, which is why I find him such an interesting character to think about.

Tangent about Hong Lu's characterization aside, it's really easy to read this line as about his family's perceptions of him.

Hong Lu (or rather, Bao-yu) can be read as being the source of the contamination in that he is the heir of the Jia family who is just an absolute fucking failure of everything you’d want in an heir for that time period.

The clam containing the filth can be read as Hong Lu’s lies (whether conscious lies or otherwise) to himself and others about the true “filth” of his family. Really good example of this is with another bit of window dialogue, but these lies and half truths come up quite a bit if you know where to look. (what happened to cohort of kin looking to stab each other in the back at every turn???)

We already have Hong Lu’s assorted water motifs (his feet make ripples on the water in his base id, land of illusion has so much water theming and shows the Jia mansion is surrounded by water) so I think this is a reasonable analysis to make :)

There’s some other sections to the MD event, but there’s nothing of note that triggered the Hong Lu sleeper agent in my brain & also this has gone on long enough that I wanna talk about predicting some stuff for the ego!

I am manifesting Gluttony/Gloom/Wrath for this ego!!

Gluttony and gloom are in the MD event’s skill check already and I think tie in nicely with the themes. Gluttony works with the offspring in the muck killing and eating each other and themes of greed with the pearl (plus the ego is primarily green and that’s a pretty good clue) and then gloom comes up a LOT with Hong Lu’s family (Liu Hong Lu, the only one that remarks on his jade eye, is also the only Hong Lu with gloom. land of illusion requires 5 gloom resources and also relates a lot to red chamber/his family) Gloom’s also generally a stand-in for water which exists here.

Wrath in Hong Lu generally manifests in him going “yeah, maybe my family was a little fucked up actually” internally, instead of manifesting as taking direct action about the fucked up things like it works for most other sinners, and acknowledging that his family was at least partially filth and killing and eating eachother (metaphorically. maybe literally) works for that

i am not an expert on sin analysis but i wanted to take a prediction bc it’s fun :)

I have a couple of predictions for corrosion and i’ll be real they are the main reason i wrote this thing because i LOVE when bad things happen to Hong Lu!!

Since this ego seems to be referencing Bao-yu so much i can pull stuff from Red Chamber too which makes it more fun :)

First one I came up with is Hong Lu taking the place of the pearl within the clam and getting locked in there! A bunch of his egos have to do with being controlled/trapped so i think it works and it also can work as a parallel for Bao-yu’s treatment by his family. Bao-yu’s name means precious jade, and he’s often treated more like his namesake than a person, heavily controlled and never allowed to leave the Jia mansion (or, in this case, the clam.) I just think it’d be fun!

My other concept has to do with more Red Chamber stuff, notably what happens when Bao-yu loses his jade. I’m not quite there yet in the text, but from what i’ve heard he becomes incredibly unstable and essentially loses his mind. This sets the Jia family’s downfall into even faster motion and from that point things get REALLY fucked up. Since the pearl here parallels Bao-yu’s jade, I think having a reference to that part of the book would be really fucking crazy for all 5 people who have read 1800+ pages of red chanber to get to chapter 94 where he loses that thing. Also i just want to see Hong Lu lose his mind i KNOW it would be terrifying and chilling. but they may be saving that for his distortion (manifesting)

In my skimming Red Chamber table of contents to find when Bao-yu loses his jade i just found a chapter where Bao-yu’s father admires a pearl but we will just ignore that for now bc this has taken long enough to type already and that is several chapters off. but there may be more analysis when this thing actually comes out!

Thank you for reading this far!! I hope you enjoyed me looking far too deep into an unreleased ego we know next to nothing about for fun! this took WAY longer than expected to type out but i’m glad I did because I loveee telling people about Hong Lu!

There is a very real chance very little of my analysis and prediction is reflected in canon BUT please remember that truth becomes fiction when the fiction’s true and even if this doesn’t turn out to be correct now u know a little more about Hong Lu and the themes he plays with :)

[everybodysaycbx]

YOUR TAGS ON SOO’S FILMOGRAPHY ALFHAKHSAKBit really do be like that 😭😭😭

Like 75% of his stuff hits straight to the water pipes, even the stuff he only has a minor role in

LITERALYYYYYY its so hard to watch most of his stuff even tho i want to bc hes such a good actor but when theres a new movie of his coming out its almost always a serious drama and im like,,,,,,,,,,do i wanna watch him die again or do i need some happiness rn bcjskqkwjjdjshhhsqjj

probably why i rewatch 100 days my prince so often its my favorite kdrama of his (i love historical dramas so im biased lol) and yeah theres some sad and even tragic moments but its overall a good time and very interesting (plus he and nam jihyun are wonderful in this (and everything they do tbh) and so are the supporting actors

also now im going to use this as an excuse to ramble about my thoughts on the show bc i love it but i have Critiques™ so ill put a read more for spoilers bc ill talk about them a lot

almost all of these issues if not all are all about the writing so there wont be any criticism of the acting which i thought was pretty good overall by kdrama standards (there were only a few times where i thought it was detrimental to my enjoyment but again it was still more to do with my problems with the writing)

so to really get into it, the pacing suffers with the back half of the episodes feeling a bit rushed especially in the last few episodes. i didnt feel like the first half was dragging much except in a few areas but again it didnt detract from my enjoyment. the last id say 5 or 6 episodes really feel like they were speedrunning which made the ending less satisfying

so when i looked at reviews of the show years ago i saw many people criticizing how the main antagonist died bc it felt anticlimatic and i do agree, especially on first watch. while its not as jarring as the first time when ive rewatched it the way he dies still doesnt feel built up as well as it could have been and i think it could have worked if the pacing for the ending wasnt so rushed (plus the numerous twists during the last couple of episodes made it a bit hard to follow where it was heading and some of what WAS set up i think was lost in that but tbh thats par for the course for kdramas lol)

speaking of the ending, i get why it ended the way that it did with the marriage mandate happening again to make everything come full circle, but character wise i dont think it was the way to go. wondeuk has always expressed even before he lost his memory that he hated being royal and never wanted to live that life because of what his father did to get it. and even knowing that he wasnt wondeuk and was probably a noble at the very least he wanted to be with hongshim in the village or wherever they needed to go. hongshim similarly has already gotten used to being a commoner and has lived that way longer than her former life. even in the epilogue she doesnt really live her life as a noble even if her status has been reinstated. i think it wouldve made more sense if he renounced the throne and chose to live with her in the village.

adding to the last point, if they had stayed in the village together and he abdicated, then his half brother would be the crown prince and the queen wouldnt be on her bullshit even at the end of the show!!! dude literally killed the guy who was threatening you and controlling your husband and you still cant stop trying to fuck him over so your son can be king??? i know the evil manipulative queen is a trope in these but shes so illogical it was a bit annoying which is a shame bc i usually love those characters

the show like,,,,,less than halfway through forgets wondeuks half brother is even a character like why was he even there. theres some indication in the beginning of the show that he likes the crown princess but that doesnt really go anywhere (its only brought up in like 2 scenes at the beginning and in the epilogue wheres shes moved to a remote location with the baby and goes to visit for some reason.....dude yall had maybe 3 lines of dialogue between each other. why are you here) and he even tells wondeuk that he hates him but we never really figure out why bc he doesnt really want to be the crown prince that much (not that i can recall rn) so his only role in the story is to help the queen be a red herring but not be a real character of his own

this is more of what i felt upon rewatch but every time i rewatch it i find it more and more annoying but the palace drama where the queen is spreading rumors and then the guys who support the antagonist make fake fliers about how the kingdom wants her deposed for this in order to manipulate the king is just,,,,,extremely uninteresting upon rewatch. like so much is happening that goes on for so long and its dragged out for way longer than it should be AND it takes time away from the village plot with wondeuk and hongshim aka the actual interesting part. so now i mostly just skip those parts even tho when i first watched the show it was fairly interesting tho i felt it dragged on a bit too long so i wont say this is a huge strike against it or anything

while i knew the brother was going to die bc thats how these kinds of stories work i was still upset fjisjshdsjsh he was a great character and while i think it still makes sense why and its still narratively satisfying imo, i think it would still be satisfying if he lived and he and the princess escaped successfully. i think it would work a little bit better actually bc it would make the antagonists decisions make a little more sense in the finale bc not everything is going to his plan and hes losing more control (plus they deserve to be happy :(( they deserve the happy ending wondeuk and hongshim get too) plus it would still tie in with hongshims motivations for rejecting wondeuk initially before the epilogue

thats the last of the criticism but this isnt a praise so ill leave an idea i had for like a what if scenario ig: so i always wondered what would happen if either the antagonist doesnt get to wondeuk in time during the festival or he gets killed by the people the king sent to attack him and hongshims brother gets there to take them them plus her dad with them into hiding. and the awkward tension that would ensue when wondeuk either figures out her brother is the assassin thats been coming after them or just immediately knows when he sees him come to get them but they both dont want to hurt hongshim by telling her what they know about the other but shes distressed that they obviously dont like each other and this is all happening while theyre running around the woods and trying to find a place they can hide out and her dad is just,,,,,,,so confused the entire time but trying to make everyone get along fjwwqkdhuheuedh idk i could add to this later bc i have so many ideas on how it could play out but ill stop there fisksjbdjssjdjssj

[manchesterau]

my thoughts after reading my policeman: SPOILERSS of course!! (ignore spelling or grammar mistakes) (this is very ramble-y and not as in depth as it could have been sorrryyy lol, if you want specifics send me an ask after reading this)

okay...so i read the book in 3 days....which....im very proud of myself bc it takes me so long to finish books but that’s not why you are reading this.

im not going to lie to you...i liked the book. i love angst, and this had plenty of it and i liked it. if you like books such as: harry potter, six of crows, red queen, red white and royal blue you will not like this book. i know many people found it boring, which yeah i can see that, but i didn't find it boring at all. but mostly because i love boring books but that's beside the point. 

the book flowed easily, there isn't a bunch of raunchy sex scenes that ive seen people say it has (i...the things ive read idk what book they even read????) and Tom does has backward views on marriage and what it means to be a wife. but he is not overtly sexist or misogynist or abusive, or subvertly those things either. to be frank he's a scared gay man in the 50s trying to not get caught and thrown in jail. that's literally it. (ill go more into detail on him later). but if you want to read this book i recommend you go in knowing that there will be homophobia (the word queer is used as a slur....3 times or 4 but no more than 5), expect outing, expect not supportive characters, and remember to have some compassion (more on this later).

next i want to go into characters: starting with tom, then Marion, then Patrick, and then the other characters. so if you are planning on reading this book or just dont want to be spoiled them....don't read the next bit.

Tom:

I'm going to get this out of the way.........Tom (who we never get to know outside of the two-point of views we are presented with, and who is being played by Harry) is a police officer in the 50s UK. to be frank when the rumors first went around I was mad like a lot of people were, which is funny because when we got those pictures of harry reading the book before all the speculation we were....happy, that he was reading a book about a gay man. now...I don't care honestly. I could call out the hypocrites (i won't) and honestly I'm hypocritical myself. I use to watch shows like svu (if you were to turn it on right now I wouldn't turn it off) and I enjoyed watching svu. I know and have seen a lot of mutuals, people on my dash enjoy cop shows like b99, or who like actors who have played the character of police before. so it would be hypocritical of me to be mad at him (this is just my single black opinion) and then go and turn on svu (which I don't do anymore). 

I'm not saying that no one can be mad, I'm not saying that the anger people have at him playing this role is bad or not needed or valid. all I'm saying is.....is that I don't care. I got angry over this months ago, and all that anger I felt I don't have anymore, and I can't tell you why. Harry is playing an abusive demented husband who traps his wife in a simulation, and then he will play a gay policeman trying not to face persecution..........and that's that. nothing I can say will reach him, he's playing these roles and there is nothing I can do. will I watch them (pirating of course) yes.

anyways let's get back to tom's character (do not use my opinion to silence other black people I will find you....don't do that shit weirdo): tom is......tom?? like I literally was expecting the worst when I read this because of what other people had to say. but as I'm reading him through the eyes of Marion (his wife) and through the eyes of Patrick (his...true love, fuck the 50s I hate the 50s) one word came to mind constantly: scared. Tom is very scared that he will be found out and his life will be ruined. His family knows about him, which is why I think his father (more on him later) pushed him to be in the national service (where he was a cook, which disappointed him). you don't realize his family knows and then his sister says something and then you go 'wait....THEY KNEW???' and then you will go 'oh so that's why-' 

tom does have old fashion views that you would expect of any man at that time (gay or not it's the 50s and gay men are still capable of saying sexist shit). when asked by Patrick if women should still work after having a kid he said no it's the men's job to provide, Marion said she would like to keep working, he said no when they do have a baby (they literally never did, and idk why he thought he could be intimate with her for that long to produce a baby lol). that's....the most sexist thing he said in the whole book (there maybe some small things im forgetting but nothing that really stood out). that's it. I know it's not small and that was a legitimate issue in the 50s but yeah. Just in case you were apprehensive about Tom's character being a raging woman-hater, no,....he just wasn't a true feminist yet (???? I don't know that's like..the most this book says about an issue women were facing at this time). It's still bad what he said (you'll see how Marion justifies it in the book and both Patrick and her don't agree and try and challenge him on his view).

i dont want to go too in depth but it is very obvious from the beginning he has no and i mean ZEROOOO interest in her at all (you can tell when it hits him that he needs a wife and he starts to act a littleee different but it's not romantic at alll). 

i feel like my review on tom is shit but like!! we don't really get to know him without bias from Patrick and Marion. I think Harry will play a wonderful Tom (even tho he doesn't not fit the description for Tom...at all....like at alllll).

To summarize Tom: very scared gay man from the 50s who is trying to do everything he can to not be found out. his family knows, even he knew at a young age, and yes he does quit being a police officer but it doesn't happen as soon as id like but then again he wasn't one for that long if you pay attention to the years.

Marion:

😑 

i just...if yall could see the notes i made on her.....

To summarize Marion: SHE IS LIVING IN LALA LAND, TOM LITERALLY SHOWS HER NO ROMANTIC INTEREST AT ALLL, AND WHEN SHE METS PATRICK FOR THE FIRST TIME SHE FREAKING NOTICES THAT HE'S ALL BLUSH-Y AND SHIT LIKE...GIRL.....

this is a note i wrote that sums up her and tom's relationship (which is more like friends then anything romantic i mean god their honeymoon was horrible and he proposed to her....nvm 😑)

listen...i can't lie and say i didn't feel sorry for her up until the end when she (spoilers: she outs patrick to his employer which ends up with him getting arrested). after that...ive never hated a character more in my fucking LIFEEEE like oh my god i was pissed

all she does is have fantasies about him being romantic with her (holding hands, hugging, etc) and none of them come true...BECAUSE HES GAYYYYYY i really....the author could have done a better job because there were so many damn red flags.

she's fucking annoying and whiny and yeah it sucked to be a woman in the 50s but you literally outed someone your husband was in love with and thought that you could just go back to being married like he's not devastated and instead of telling what you did you stayed unhappy and made your husband thing that at any point they were coming for him too.......*****

Patrick:

PATRICKKKKK

Patrick and tom deserved a fighting fucking chance i hate the fuck 50s fuck you 50s!!!! I absolutely LOVEDDD his pov and seeing Tom through his pov like it was just so damn refreshing seeing the world through his eyes and how he navigates his queerness in the society they live in. (the dichotomy between a proud gay man and a scared maybe proud but fear overrules that (talking about Tom here) gay man).

There was a lot more to say on how gay men were being persecuted at this time than how women were treated in this particular book. There were some little things here and there about what was expected of Marion as a wife and of a girl/woman at that time but it wasn't the focus.

I loved seeing the way Patrick navigated through his world of art and creativity. And how Tom seemed to fit right in with him.

I hate the things the author made Patrick go through (outed, sent to prison, stripped of his job, and later on in the present day he has had 2 strokes in his 70s). it felt a bit much but it's not too distracting (Patricks pov takes place in the past as he writes in his journal). 

Patrick and Julia (more on her later) are my two favorites in the whole book (Tom is third bc he's a very multi-facted character, Marion is not even on the list) and I wish we got a lot more of Patrick's pov.

Other characters!! (speed round bc this is wayyy too long):

Syvlie (Tom's sister): SYVLIEEE IM MAD AT YOUU I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU WHYY WHYYY

Julia: JULIAAAAA QUEEENNN (you'll see why i love her at the end) 

Tom's parents: his father is abusive point-blank. or at least i think he's abusive (verbally). as im writing this i am now realizing that the way Tom's mom reacts to him (sometimes crying) is bc they knew he was gay omg wow.

tom's dad is very much a man's man guy?? Picture a sexist man from the 50s....now picture him with a gay son.....yeah, I'm not surprised Tom went into national service then to the police force. you can tell he didn't want anyone to find out about Tom so he pushed him to do what he thought best and Tom went with it, scared. 

overall: please do not go into this book expected things to be all flowers and rainbows...this is a book about two gay men in the 50s yall.....

there is something to be said about the tragedy that is in a lot of queer stories, I'm more interested in how white these stories are (that's a rant for another time). but I don't mind my policeman, and i think stories like this should be told. because this actually happened (here is a link to em forster's story where the author takes inspiration from, he really had an affair with a policeman!!! who had a wife!!!).

the ending is bittersweet, and i couldn't help but curse for what could have been. Marion could have not outed Patrick (which she instantly regretted), she could have gotten a divorce (she even contemplated it), they could have been more secretive, Julia could have not said what she said. I think Patrick and Tom were sadly doomed from the start, I just wish they had more time together because I loved seeing their love (the little glimpse we got) bloom into something bigger than them.

thank you for reading!! here are random screenshots of my notes as i read this lol enjoy!!

can’t*

[sleepsacked]

PHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, i am swinging and kicking my feet in the air rn-

but ur right !!!!!!! (of course as u are the one writing this LOL) now that im thinking abt it hj's intrusive thoughts are a bit telling of his conscience...

mimgi ohhh my sweet sweet MIIMMMMGII, by far id say he's my fav character to see unravel w his character development fs omggg-

i think even wondering now abt the paradoxical irony of mc wanting approval but having this incessive need to go against authority at every given opportunity... it jus makes me question if mc will finally have peace cuz GODDAM... thats why i think my heart wont be able to survive knowing smth between her and san </3 could potentially go wrong

BUT ALSO????? IM SO PEEVED AT SEONGHWA ????????????? that whole argument between them in the prev chapter and then him still having the audacity to go "i love you for whatever thats worth" ?1????-??-??-??-??-?-??-?-??-?-??-??-?-?-?------ OHHHHH KAYYYYY ;-;

also the yeosang point !!!! yes thats what i was meaning !!!!! him being the only one to beat hj but not being the lit. is so... interesting bc like Logically u would think right.. They have similar ways of understanding situations and taking initiuative to get the job done and yet..... hm... but also yunho being a pawn... oh god... YUNHO RUNNNNN THAT MAN DONT LOVE U THE WAY U NEED OR WANT HIM TOOO RUNNNN RUN RU NNNNNNNNN <////33

>>potential spoiler for those still reading/catching up<<

one of my biggest Teetering?/???? ideas / questions / feelings (s/n english isnt my only language so idk how to explain what im trying to say in english but hopefully its conveyed well) ???? is... i remember wy and mc having all those convos abt them being sirens and what all that entailed and them being childhood friends and EVERYTHING like that... and them coming from the same planet and them both being different from seonghwa bc seonghwa didnt come from the same planet... and then the whole lore of needing 5 of them... but seonghwa doesnt even possess the same scale of abilities as wy or mc.. so im wondering if its like needing 5 "pure-blood"(??) sirens so how i wonder- if at all- how much hj's view would change of mc and/or wy knowing that they are quite different from seonghwa and possibly more... of a necessity for whatever the hell it is he's /really/ trynna do.. i include wy in this bc u mentioned above that- though u didnt go much into detail, if u were to look at who was who in hj's chess game then mc and wy are pawns.. hmm

though.... now that im thinking abt it i think maybe minho was maybe referring to mingi omg.... considering that he was alr shocked by the intelligence of him in this recent update.. but then again... idk i still have a feeling he's maybe referring to san im putting my bets on san 🤓

AHHHH I RAMBLED AGAINNNN- but literally of course ive loved the series sm thus far <333 !!!!!!! i do have one personal question and u dont have to respond if u dont want to but im curious if u ever studied philosophy/psychology- i ask this because (apart from studying a bit in my undergrad studies) lately ive been doing a lot of own personal reading as well as listening to like those thinkpieces of breakdowns of famous papers and theories from philosophers and pyschologists in history (plato, jung, albert camus, kohlberg, etc. etc.) on like morality and ethics and existence and stuff- and i see a lot of connections?? lemme elabotate- i see connections more so in the way that each character is written it is like a dive into psyche, and yk the famous scale umm the judgement scale ??? weighing of souls ig is the more religious term but i feel like u've portrayed the characters well enough that like for me as a reader- i can constantly see their ways of understanding morality and ethics and existing with each other constantly teetering on that scale!! thats why i was curious if u ever studied (either self curiosity or academically) any topics like that bc i myself am a huge nerd for those topics (which might be why i also love this story sm!!!) and if u didnt, then woah bc i really mean it when i say ur writing is clear that u can fr understand their psyches even if only 2% is revealed its like... leaves u very speechless :,)

thank u again !!!!! have a great day :3 !!!!!!! & thank u for responding back to my long msg <3333333

hi sooo....

O______O wow...

U DID IT AGAINNNNNNN, im so.. im so shocked reading the new moc chapter and must i say i love ur interim chapters i think theyre so !!!!!!!!!! chefs kiss truly

okokok so im speechless.. but im thinking abt it now and ... (maybe this is also bc i recently jus binged like all of moc in like 3 days so its still fresh on my brain but) the very first chapters when mc was alr on the ship and and there was that one bit with san and they spent the night together and were talking and it was when she still was carrying around the pardon papers and they had like a heart to heart to be there for each other and the cheek kiss !!!!!! if im remembering right.. i remember sans reaction being written kinda awkward initially (ill have to eventually go back and find it) so it- it makes me wonder how fast hongjoong tried to come up w a plan to manipulate mc... also... my heartbroke even reading the prev chapter when mc was crying and telling san "why did u have to make me doubt ur feelings?" and then reading this chapter- i have hope for them i really do but i fear.. whats gonna happen once she finds the truth out bc... ik she will </3 and i fear its gonna be hongjoong.. But also..??? WAIT NO BC IM THINKING 80 MILLION THINGS RN.

THE DIALOGUE W MINGI........ MINGI AND MINHO..... minho being shocked that his intelligence is more than he lets on.... ITS MAKING ME WONDER LIKE... theyve all kinda treated mingi like Oh he's helpless or struggling rather, we need to care for him diligently-which is true, bro got demons fr but... then im wondering how much mingi really knows bc...?? i remember mingi saying smth to mc too about like "ask urself why it is that ur even trying to disobey in the first place?" or like idk they had that deep ass talk and.... idk.. im thinking abt it now though... what does mingi know.......

im also wondering... 1) if joong has a conscious LOL 2) no i definitely think he does after this but,,,,,,,,, we still dunno WHY he's become this way- why his demons are like this/why theyre presented this way bc in a way (LOL ME TRYNNA PSYCHOANALYZE HIM)... it seems like he keeps everyone at an arms length... except seonghwa i feel like.. at least for now.. but i saw that because he keeps to himself a lot even amongst the ship- so it seems... but he definitely changes the way he wants to come across people... 3) idk if i wanna hug him and tell him its gonna be alright or if i wanna box him LMFAOOO he is so damn crazy... and then jus the way minho described the way they played chess... everyone else doing his dealing... actually now that im thinking about it.. he's been called out quite easily before... so maybe he isnt as hard to read as he thought... in fact ik mc has been the one to call him out hella on his shit so.. i wonder if thats why he's so adamant on keeping her in shape.... oh joong ... babes what did u go thru 🤣🤣🤣🙁🙁🙁 u lil control freak u~~

anywho.. im also confused.... bc i can see that mc does wanna be approved and accepted (?) by joong yet also cant stand the authority he gives so its quite the paradox.........

rn im jus ranting sm... its like everythings clicking..

but also.. im curious.. hongjoong has only lost chess to yeosang among all the members... yet.. seonghwa is the lit. which ofc im gonna assume its also him being a siren that like he said "the closer he is to me the better".. but then if yeosang thought most like joong... why is yeosang just a pawn in joongs eyes ...? yeosang losing the wooyoung </3 lordddd i dont even wanna start... then minho saying he's excited to see how another crew member plays.. joong immediately thinking seonghwa... but interestingly enough im guessing its either san or yunho.. but my best bet is san given he's like another right hand man kinda guy to joong...

ill conclude on that note since its 3am rn... but wow U DID IT AGAINNNNN i love ur writing so much seriously <33333 thank u thank u thank u and im excited for more x

hi hehe :3 i'm so thrilled that you enjoy the interims that's such a relief and so nice to hear ;-;;

you're in the perfect position bc you remember what happened early on and can pick up on the crumbs i was dropping to make it alllll come full circle! what goes around comes around! not only are hongjoong's plans important to consider (ie when he implemented them, when he put them into action) but also both how san carried out his initial duty and when san started to slip away from that duty into something genuine! both those things will be explored and opened up in san's upcoming interim, that will help pull all the pieces together i hope so!! that scene with mc crying to san,,, i cried writing it and i know it made a lot of people doubt san and his feelings but!! please have hope!! there are SOOO many possibilities!! will hongjoong really leave san to lie in the grave he dug for himself or will he dig it deeper or try to help him out…? all remains to be seen :3

mingi is truly truly such a fun and fascinating character to both write and unveil to you guys ;-; he's exceptionally intelligent beyond the scope of understanding emotions period but he gets treated like he's dumber because he doesn't understand emotions bc in the others' eyes emotions are just simple and easy to understand. mingi def possesses a different kind of intelligence but that kind of intelligence is on the same level of yeosang iw ould say! so it's easiest to think of it as mingi has a different kind of smartness compared to someone like say,,,,jongho or san who both have very good and high emotional intelligence!

1) DOES the man have a conscience? this interim is very telling in that regard and his thought process and the what some would call "intrusive thoughts" really showcase who he is as a person!

2) there are so many layers to him and you really get it bc he does keep everyone at arms length, even seonghwa to some degree bc the whole reason him and seonghwa aren't together is bc hongjoong shut him down the moment seonghwa started expressing his feelings towards hongjoong, he likes to keep to himself and doesn't like to leave his space for many reasons but we now know that one of those reasons is the past feelings of failure and loss coming back to haunt him, and bingo right on the money, he changes the way he wants to come across to people. prime example in yunho at the end of the interim, i think that scene is the absolute best showcase of hongjoong's character and who he is and how he operates.

3) he is DAMN CRAZY!!! i feel like i haven't so much shown that to the degrees that his character really is batshit insane so we're tiptoeing into those waters more now. you do have to think though, with the notion that he changes the way he wants to come across to people, when he's being "called out", is it accurate? or is it what hongjoong is presenting so they think they know what kind of person he is? when mc calls him out on his shit, it's often a two way punch where it as much about her as it is about him so much to think about! he's far far beyond a control freak tehe :3

the fun paradox in mc is that dynamic of wanting to be approved and accepted by him but also having this point blank issue with authority and also how hongjoong excises his authority. and that's been a big point of confusion too i think so im trying to delve more into it and expose more of it so that it makes more sense but there is meant to be a contradiction in her actions for sure

yeosang has been the only one to beat hj at chess, and he is not the lieutenant. we know that hongjoong personally selected seonghwa before yeosang joined the crew and that the position has never swayed, and we also know that yeosang is the master strategist on the crew, which is something a lieutenant would usually take care of so it lends to some questions about how hongjoong views authority in his crew? as far as the chess game goes, his queen was indeed seonghwa, the main bishop he used to both attack and sabotage his own pieces was san, he himself was king, then though not as heavily touched on, the other pieces i had in mind were: mingi and jongho were both knights, yeosang was the other bishop, then mc, wooyoung, and yunho were pawns. who minho was really referring to ;) is quite the twist but a fun one :3

bless you for sending me such a long ask at such a late hour you're so sweet ;-; it made my day i was so happy and excited seeing it thank you for letting me ramble right back at you :3 <3

[just-a-fangirl13]

MacRiley fan-fic

This one is a classic. Probably wont happen but it was fun to write anyways!

Season 4 spoilers..... duh!

******************************

“Good night guys. Riles you coming?” said Mac with his usual smile leaving the war room followed by Desi and Bozer. Matty and Russ were still busy.

Mac had been wanting to tell Riley about his break-up with Desi but they had got the call from Matty.

Desi and he realised they were never going to work. The weird part was that he didn't feel heartbroken. 

He had seen it coming for a while now, it was just a matter of finally ripping off the band-aid. Desi seemed fine too, she still nipped at him occasionally but they had managed to keep it professional for the whole mission. Desi was staying with him until she could get back her old apartment.

“No I have some stuff I need to do. Good night Mac.” said Riley with a tight lipped smile. 

Mac raised his eyebrow at her. “Okay. Good night then. Call me if you need a lift anyways.” He and Des got into his car while Riley walked to the nearest bar.

The mission had been rough. Riley felt completely spent but she needed a drink. It was Friday night and she was all alone. She let that sink in. At the rate she was going she was going to die alone too.

**************

Mac’s phone buzzing woke him up. It was 1 am. It had been barely 2 hours since they got back. 

“Why won't criminals just take a day off.” said Mac half asleep, groaning as he reached for his phone. 

He read the caller id fulling expecting it to be Matty. But it wasn't.

All the sleepiness drained right out of him. It was Riley.

“Hello? Riles? What’s going on is everything okay?” said Mac already getting up, fully alert now and trying to make as little noise as possible so as to not wake Desi up in the adjoining room.

Mac could here loud music in the background. What the hell was going on?

“Hey Mac. I need a ride.”

**************************

Mac found Riley outside The Bar. Riley was drunk and she was standing all alone outside at the entrance when she had called. Mac drove over as fast as he could. His heart racing the whole time.

He pulled up to where she was standing. Silently thanking the universe that she was okay. 

“Riles? Are you okay” said Mac with deep concern on his face.

Riley nodded but swayed on her feet. Mac caught her.

“Okay lets get you home.”

Mac got Riley in the passengers seat and buckled her up. He had just started up the car when Riley mumbled.

“I’m sorry. I'm so so sorry” and tears started rolling down her face. Mac’s heart broke a little. Why had he not gone with her? What if something had happened to Riley? What if he had somehow missed her call?

“Riles. You dont have anything to be sorry for. It’s okay. Its a best friends duty to pick up them up especially when they get drunk. Today’s mission was hard on all of us.” said Mac with a smile. It really was the least he could do for her. She had put everything on the line when she had come to his rescue. She was always there. The one true constant in his life. The one person he could count on.

Riley just went on apologising until a minute later she had closed her eyes and fallen asleep. Mac looked over at her a few times. She seemed so peaceful. He had been so caught up with Desi, Codex and Phoenix that he hadn't even paid attention to what was going on with Riley. Something was definitely eating at her. He was hoping he could have talked to her today, tried to get to the bottom of things.

Riley had seemed a little distant lately. He didn't even blame her. He had no idea what was going on with her, but for now he would be there for her just like she was for him.

Mac pulled over outside Riley’s apartment. He didn't want to wake Riley up but he couldn't help it.

“Riles,” Mac whispered. “I need you to wake up now. Please.”

Riley opened her eyes slowly. He helped her out of the car and grabbed her bag. It was a good thing he knew she kept her keys in the tiny zipper in her favourite bag which she was also carrying right now.

He opened the apartment door and helped Riley in. He set her down on her bed  and took off her boots. Riley was half asleep and was really out of it. 

He tucked her in and was about to switch off the small bedside lamp when Riley reached for his arm.

“Hey Mac” she slurred a bit while talking,”Thanks for picking me up. Your a good friend you know. Don’t ever doubt that.”

Mac smiled. Even half drunk Riley was still thinking about him. He brushed out a few strands of hair out of her face and turned off the light.

“Good night Riles.” said Mac leaving the room.

“Love you, Mac” says Riley before cuddling into her covers and falling straight asleep.

Mac froze at the door, his heart pounding. 

He had misheard her right? But he found himself hoping he hadn't.

It hit him like lightning. He loved Riley too, didn't he? Deep down he always had. 

He had told himself that he had held her hand when that missile was about to hit them because he wanted Riley to know he was sorry. Sorry that he couldn't save her. But it was more than that,wasn't it?

He had loved her. 

Mac smiled to himself. He was such an idiot. How had he not seen it sooner. Not seen what was right in front of him the whole time.

But he wouldn't say anything until he knew for sure.

**********

The next morning Riley woke up to the worst hangover. Maybe even worse than the one that Mac’s alcohol breaking down drug had given her when he, Leanna, Bozer and she were undercover.

She dragged herself to the shower and got changed which is when it registered that she could smell pancakes. What the hell?

“Good morning sleepy head.” said Mac a little too loudly. Riley winced. 

Mac was cooking.... Pancakes... In her kitchen... In her house....

She looked over at her sofa and saw a blanket draped on it.

“Hope you dont mind. I crashed here after last night just incase you needed me.”

“No of course I dont mind. I’m just really hazy on what happened last night.” said Riley rubbing her head.

Mac placed a steaming cup of coffee in front of her along with a plate of chocolate chip pancakes.

“You dont remember anything?” asked Mac trying to hide the disappointment in his voice. “You got really drunk last night and called me to ask if I could give you a ride home. You were really out of it.” said Mac with smile.

Bits and pieces came rushing back as she took a seat at the kitchen island. She had gone to the bar and had one drink after another and had completely lost track. She remembered contemplating calling Mac and then sitting in his car. She couldn't remember if she said anything. What if she told him about her feelings. Oh no no no no. Rileys mind was going into overdrive.

“Oh god Mac. I’m so sorry. I probably ruined you and Desi’s night. Im such an idiot. I dont even remember what I was thinking.”

“Hey hey its okay Riles. Besides Desi and I aren't dating anymore.” said Mac.

Woah. It was really taking her a while to process things.

“I’m sorry to hear that Mac. I feel like such a terrible friend. I didn't even notice something was up.” said Riley. Gosh when had she become such a mess.

“It was a long time coming. Desi and I just weren't right for each other. We both knew it, but we were hanging on to the relationship because it was familiar I guess.” said Mac.

Riley just silently nodded. Her mind was spinning.

“Anyways” said Mac smiling, “try the pancakes. I need to know if they are any good.”

Riley eyed the plate remembering Mac’s track record with cooking. She could feel Mac’s gaze on her so she tried it.

“Okay wow. These are actually really good.” said Riley. Mac laughed, ”Mission Accomplished. You have to tell Bozer they were good, okay? He won't believe me if I say it.”

Riley and Mac sat there eating chocolate chip pancakes, laughing. Riley felt like all the problems in the world just fell away.

***************

Riley was helping Mac clear up even though he had insisted he would do it on his own. There was still that worry that she had said something to Mac nagging her. He seemed alright. A little chirpy but happy. 

“Mac. Last night. I didn't say anything stupid right?” said Riley washing the plate and handing over the last one to Mac to dry it since he had insisted. 

“Why?” asked Mac a curious look on his face. “Was there something I needed to know?”

“Nope no reason. I was just really out of it yesterday. Just curious if I said anything.” said Riley relief washing over her.

“Well there was one thing I wanted to talk to you about actually.” said Mac putting the last plate away. 

“Riles, I’m sorry Ive been such a terrible friend to you lately. I..just.. with everything going on with Codex and Desi.. i..never even bothered to check in on you. I had no idea why you were being distant until I realised last night that you were probabaly drunk because you felt like you couldnt talk to me. You’ve always been there no matter what and I couldn't even return the favour. I'm so sorry.”

Mac looked so stressed. He really thought it was his fault she was avoiding him. 

Oh god what had she done. The exact reason she didn't want to tell Mac the truth was so she didnt hurt him but seeing him like this broke her heart. She loved him so much it physically hurt sometimes.

“Mac. Its not your fault. It has nothing to do with-” Riley stopped herself. She had nothing to lose right? She should just tell him. No more lies or secrets.

Mac looked up searching her face. She wasn't meeting his eye and she was fidgeting with her hands. 

Could it be possible that Riley was distancing herself from him because of what she said last night? Could it really be true?

"Before you say anything, there is something you should know." said Mac. This was it. He felt brave all of a sudden.

"You said something last night. I mean I could have misheard you but it sounded you like you said you love me. Is that what this about?" Mac sounded so nervous.

Riley was shocked. She had said it last night. Oh god what if he didnt feel the same way?

"I- Mac- I am so sorry. I just- You were dating Desi and I just broken up with Aubrey and I just had to-"

Before Riley could finish Mac kissed her. And she kissed him back.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. " said Mac smiling. "I'm such an idiot. It took me so long to see what was in front me this whole time."

Mac held Rileys hand in his and they started at each other and smiled. They were in their own happy bubble.

[daddy-daichis]

Yesterday the very beautiful and talented @fuwari-s tagged me in this game and since that post is already really long i figured id make a new one lol  (Also thank you for tagging me, it made me so happy)

The Game: Tag your 2D lovers + the other trend I saw yesterday and wanted to do which is Would you actually date them IRL. So ill put that under the cut because it is a lot.

HQ: Atsumu, Daichi, Issei, Bokuto, Hinata, and Kyoutani

BNHA: Bakugou, Denki, and Hawks

JJK: Sukuna and Mei Mei

Others: Kagami from KNB, Levi and Jean from AOT, and Mikoto Suoh from K

So if you want to know if i would date them irl that is below the cut lol

As for tagging... if you want to do it :) @eijirosriot @bokutosnumberonefan @hinosreis @tetsus-kitten @sugawarakoushihoe @mynameisjackattack and anyone else who wants to do one or both of these challenges.

Alright so would i date these men (+ mei mei) in real life. Short answer is yes lmao. Long answer, with some headcanons that may or may not  venture into 18+ category but only slightly. all aged up to be my age which is 26.

Atsumu - PLEASE, YES

we would be so chaotic together but he would also be really loving. As long as he can still prioritize me in a relationship, not over volleyball, just as much, then we will be golden. We would have such a good time and i feel like we would have a lot of fun bickering, which i really enjoy. Play fighting as a form of foreplay, if you will lmao. We’d probs be friends in HS and then get together after he starts playing for MSBY and he is secured in his position (and himself tbh). I just love this cocky bastard. he also gives me switch vibes and as a switch, i love that for me.

Daichi - YES

All i need is to be wrapped in his arms on the daily and i would be happy. Man would know how to take care of me and that is all. Love of my life, too good for this world. Wholesome husband. He would be able to manage my crazy side and chill me out when i get to anxious. I would want to be bratty just to get him to drop his good guy routine sometimes and I feel like he would like that.

Issei - YES

Funeral home employee can get it. Matsukawa Horse cock Issei can whisk me off my feet and straight into bed. we would have a lot of fun picking on oikawa together (out of love of course) but we would balance each other out a lot. His darker humor would go well against my lighter humor. Also I feel like our level of hotness is pretty comparable... like we aren't the prettiest in the friend group but still good (if that makes sense)

Bokuto - YES

Big ball of sunshine to light up my day, he would literally fuck the sad out of me every day I just know it. Like atsumu, as long as I am a priority to him itll work out. We also kind of have the same sad moods so I feel like we could either both just curl up on the couch together and watch a movie or bring the other out of a funk easily. I love this giant himbo so much.

Hinata - most likely yes

Pretty much the same reasons as bokuto but I feel like I would get drained of his energy faster, so he would def have to cuddle me more. For everyone else so far I can imagine being high school sweethearts, but with hinata i think he wouldnt settle down until later, or even start dating so it would probably be a lot of pining and watching him from the side lines for a while, which would be really hard tbh. but the way he would smile at me after a match would make it worth it so...

 Kyoutani - Hard YES

I love a boy with anger issues, what can i say... (cough couch my irl husband with anger issues couch couch) I would love to be his weak spot and the one person he would go to to help him not feel angry anymore. I think that my fun personality would help him to unbox himself a bit. I just want to give him cuddles and a place to feel accepted. id also i KNOW hes a monster in bed... 

Bakugou - FUCKING HARD YES, PLEASE

if he was real the things i would do to and for him... A lot like kyoutani i would want to give him a place where hes accepted, and a place where he is unconditionally loved. I would be able to handle his misguided anger and calm him down and give him space. I headcanon that hes very cuddly in private to just his S/O which is something that i love. I love his lil smirk and would do anything to get him to smirk at me. As long as he is able to set me as a priority it would work out, but that would be what he struggles with so it would be a thing we would have to talk about. But I also feel that once you say something about it he would check in with you because of course he has to be the best bf/husband. I feel like I could talk for hours about him so Ill just wrap it up by saying that I love me a passionate man who would probs be a lil possessive, and I would use that to my advantage. 

Denki - GOD YES

I really do think that denki and I are soulmates. we are both the perfect blend of funny, pervy, while still being soft. I feel like there would be a lot of mutual pining at first but he would end up the golden retriever gamer boy to my alt bisexual and thats just the perfect pairing. We would pull so much shit and then get away with it because thats just us being us. I see us being scolded by bakugou a lot for the stupid shit we would pull. Also late night drives in his shitty tuned car to taco bell while we sing alt rock songs from the 2010s. also the switch vibes are immaculate.

 Hawks - Probably

So it would honestly depend a lot on what version of hawks.. him in the hero commission is a no, because he wouldnt be able to be honest with me about a lot of stuff. Like his name, or when i can see him again, and that would give me too much anxiety. When hes free of them and is actually allowed to be himself I think it could work then. I know that he of course wants to still be the best hero, so he would have the same problems as bakugou with finding a balance, but if he wants to i think he could. He would also have a lot of trauma from his relationship with his parents and the commission so I dont know if he would be able to give his love away as freely as he wants so we could get therapy together. I love that for us. But i would happily wake up next to this beautiful birb man if he would have me.  

Sukuna - A hesitant yes

so.. the anger issues that ive mentioned before.. yes. I would like sukuna. I would be his lil bride and sit on his lap on his throne as long as he didnt kill my loved ones or my cats lmao. I would also be ok with being his and itadoris gf while hes living in itadoris head. being with him is just asking for an unhappy ending tho, whether its a life always on the run, or someones trying to kill me, or someones trying to kill him, or hes trying to kill someone. But yes i would like to be with him but that would mean sacrificing a lot. 

Mei Mei - god yessssss..

Please Mei Mei step on me and make me ur lil house wife. I see us living in a pent house apartment with the most breathtaking view of the Tokyo skyline. I would want for nothing and she could take me where ever she wanted and i would just follow her around with heart eyes.

 Kagami - YES

my basketball husband! i love him and would love to be loved by him. Id follow him wherever. He would take care of me and is just so dreamy.. also i guess the mild anger issues.. but hes really not that bad. He would just be such a good s/o. He would cook us nice dinners, wed have a few cats, and he would carry me around a lot because hes so strong. While were on the topic of strong... his stamina... everyone on this list probably has good if not great stamina... but kagami just hits different..... have you seen him in the zone? have you seen his thighs? his sex zone has got to be incredible. 

 Levi - Yes

I was going to say it depends, but really it doesn't... if were in the aot universe and hes my captain and I fall in love with him u can bet ur ass im gonna try and get with him because i could die at anytime. if its some au where he is here in our universe and somehow we meet... like of course im gonna be in love with him. our height difference isnt too bad, im only like an inch or 2 taller than him. I think we would both have a great time together. I would make him laugh, and he would help me clean, because lord knows I hate cleaning. BUT i hate cleaning because its something that I always have to do alone, and I feel like levi would have us be cleaning together like he makes the scouts do. and hes just so sexy... 

Jean - big yes

This beautiful handsome man... idk what to even say about him. Hes strong, funny, handsome, cocky, but very much full of love. would love to run away from the world with him. I feel like if he was in love with me before *tries not to give away spoilers* the marco incident (?) that after he would become very clingy and attached and im ok with that. There would have to be lots of cuddles and reassurances and i just want to see him happy and not at war, with both real life people and himself... id give him the best kisses and he would become addicted to them. 

Mikoto - No? But maybe...

I feel like we could be.. but if you watched the show then you know.. But i would love to be Homra’s princess TBH. No one would mess with me or they would have to face the wrath of my big fire boyfriend and his whole ass gang. But on the other hand I feel like Mikoto wouldnt allow himself to fall in love, so it would probably be a hush hush topic. everyone knows the boss and I are in an entanglement, but they cant talk about it. Then Anna starts asking questions to Mikoto and he has to come clean to her, which would be so cute. He tells her is a secret but she doesn't care lmao. in conclusion, I would want to, but I dont think he would let me.... Maybe friends with benefits tho....

............................................................................................

ok if you read all this im officially in love with you. Please take my heart. 

This took me like 2 hours to do because I love thinking about it so much. if you have any thoughts about any of this hop into my dms or comment on this because id love to hear them (especially if you think i belong with one more than the others lmao). 

[ccsthemovie2]

trick or treat 2021 letter

DEAR MY KIND AND HARDWORKING GIFTER,

hi there my ao3 is zagspect and thanks in advance for making me a piece of fic or art in this fun little exchange! heres some food for thought to munch on.

i loooove slice of life, character moments, outsider povs that make things we’re used to in canon seem absurd or funny or weird or scary, humor, horror-in-fluff’s-clothing, sweetness-found-in-horror, and also just plain sweetness. feel free to get weird or experimental with your writing if you think the moment calls for it :3 im not really requesting anything sexy-nsfw in this exchange so pls keep things down to a nice pg13 (high-rated gore for higurashi work is an exception, lol, like, it’s when they cry. that’s just part of the deal.)

🌸✨

cardcaptor sakura (trick or treat!)

clear card manga spoilers are fine with me! manga and anime canon are both fine, and mashing them up is cool too. no aus past that though, please!

clow reed

the big man himself! scare me with his his manipulative tendencies, his eternal pushpull fear of both being eternally relied on and being no longer needed, the way he treats other people, especially people who love him. (yue! the madoushi! i am into both of these being unrequited romantically on his end, but he’s not gonna just gonna tell them that, you think he’s straightforward like that?) what’s daily life like in the clowse? creating a new card, what’s that like? does everybody get along with the normal, non magic neighbors? 

yelan li

what’s up with her??? what’s her relationship with her children like, what are the responsibilities of a magician family’s head, how weird is it that clow is kind of back all of a sudden, what’s her thoughts on sakura? fleshing out a minor character is always fun :]

eriol & li

okay, so, we get to the end of the original series. syaoran returns to hong kong. ????????. syaoran is in cahoots with eriol to (vaguely alluding to cc spoilers in case you haven’t caught up in the manga), do some pretty serious magic behind sakura’s back.

so, like... what went down in the ?????

kero & sakura & yue 

they’re FAMBILYYYYY. magic found family i love them so much. show me the depths of their care for her, and hers for them, the way there’s absolutely some ice to break with yue but when he gets loyal he will DIE for you, the way sakura can mend the rift between kero and yue, the way the two of them are balancing this wonderful openness and equality with oh yeah, she’s eleven, we kind of said some seriously dark stuff in the haze of sleepover talk didn’t we? 

ruby & spinel & eriol 

pre-canon or mid-canon or post-canon! what’s the dynamic between them, a quiet night in, a day out telling people that you’re connected by whatever lie you find funniest. going to tomoeda and having to pretend youre a kid, a teen, and a cat, but goddd you could all go for an elegant and adult glass of wine right now (especially the cat). what horrors are lurking in that house from the clow era that no one cares to address? like emotionally and also because it’s a magic wizard house with magic stuff in it. 

touya/yukito/yue 

i am here for any and all angles of this ship- all together, your touyukis, your yuetouyas, your yuekitos if you wanna get in on a rarely seen angle! (but pls have touya and/or yukito be 18+ at a time where yue shows interest in them). i wanna see the way they interact! how they deal with, you know, the everything! pre-relationship pining, going on a date, touya and yukito in college wondering if they’ll end up having different majors, different paths for the first time. yukito seeing yue on video for the first time (OH NO HES HOT), yukito and yue figuring out internal boundaries, etc etc etc.  

naoko and touya 

the girl who loves ghosts and the guy who sees (or, used to see), ghosts! does she follow him to one of his haunts (pun intended)? does he have to go to her for ghost sensing advice now that he’s a regular old human? does he have to save her from a ghost that means her harm? how excited is she to tell sakura about the COOL GHOST I MET WITH YOUR BROTHER OMG U DIDNT TELL ME HE LIKES GHOSTS??? and how much does sakura wanna sink into the ground lololol

🌹⚔️

revolutionary girl utena (trick or treat!)

ohh, what a place of scary happenings! tell me a fairytale, even if it’s not such a good idea. pre, mid, postcanon, im fine with it all. feel free to weave a web with easter egg references to any other media you feel is right for the moment- utena is all about Genre and Stories!

shadow girls 

i love them i love their whole everything. i wanna see a play, i wanna see them interact with other characters! what if they do a play AS the other characters, ooooh.

anthy/utena 

THE GIRLS WHO INVENTED LOVE THEMSELVES. ive read a thousand stories of them finding each other and it never gets old. id love to read about their life post-ohtori, especially the not-so-happily-ever-after parts- the old wounds reopening, the fights, and how they work through it, wont lose each other ever again. 

saionji/touga

what’s spookier than toxic masculinity? both of them miserably stuck, saionji obsessed with touga, touga believing anyone who believes in friendship is a fool. bro we are taking shirtless pictures among 500 potted cacti....why does my heart hurt..... oh shit its the cactus i rolled onto it ow ow

nanami

nanami being nanami! she’s got no clue how to act ever, she’s desperate, she’s trying SO HARD. i’d love to see a nanami finally getting out of there, too. leaving home with nothing but the clothes on her back, diamonds in her necklace, and a wheeled suitcase of raw eggs.... (crunch crunch crunch)

🎲🗓

higurashi when they cry (trick or treat!)

i’m a gou/sotsu enjoyer and gonna prompt about that a lot but original flavor is, of course, great too. pls dont go too heavy on info outside the main 8+saikoroshi+gou/sotsu? i haven’t read those. ive read umineko+ciconia though so references there are fine :3

rena/mion/keiichi

college days! getting together, crushing on each other, poly relationship figuringouts? dates that are just club meetings with kissing and all the ridiculousness of that.

satoko/rika

gou/sotsu era TOXIC LESBIAN EPIC MOMENTS!!!!!! obsession and desperation and satoko putting all her emotional eggs in rika’s basket no matter how angry she is with her, rika’s love for satoko across 100 years and how that all crumbles (to satoko) in the face of rika’s Cool School. rika wanting satoko to go to school with her so so so bad. deep pain and misunderstandings and acting badly (like, murder badly), and then, we hope, atonement and something new beginning? i love character moments where someones so obsessively in love it feels like its eating them up inside.

rena & satoko

look, rena’s smart and really pays attention to how people feel and i think, before or after satoko becomes a looper but especially after, she would make an attempt to have a heart to heart with satoko. and satoko, as a looper, will politely brush her off, will go you dont know me you can’t affect me. youre just a chess piece. when i get to the miracle world where rika loves me, ill listen to you. this you is here to die, or to kill. 

eua

oh eua is just using satoko up like a bar of soap and it takes satoko way, way too long to realize. evil girltalk/crush advice from the witchmom perhaps?

shion

meakashi made me LOVE her. internal shion moments, perhaps? shion being an empath (decides what ppl are thinking and instantly believes it)? shion in gou-era wanting to talk to satoko about st. lucia’s, but she never shows up to dinner?

okay i think that’s all for now!!! thanks and i hope you have fun!!!

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Rose Coloured Glasses - Part 11

Warning!! Spoilers from Defending Jacob!!

I didn't hear from Andy again for hours, it wasn't until around 10:30 that my phone started ringing.

"Hey" i answered quickly "how bad is it?"

"The worst..... the partial finger print they found was a match for Jake.... Y/N they've arrested him!".

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"Ive had the police at my house all day, they've torn the place apart..."

"Shit..... i'm so sorry...."

"I tried to tell them this doesn't prove Jake killed Ben.... they knew each other, they have the same classes.... there could be a hundred different reasons for that fingerprint!" I could tell by his tone that he was more than likely pacing as he told me what had been happening.

"So what happens now?"

"I had to hire him a lawyer, we're going down to the courthouse first thing in the morning for the arraignment, find out what the bail is gonna be set at. We went down to the station to see him earlier, it was awful having to leave him there.... it broke my heart. How can they think my son is capable of killing this kid... his a good kid"

"I wish there was something i could say to make you feel better...." i sighed picking at a loose thread on the cushion in my lap.

"I know. You don't have to say anything its nice just having someone to talk to"

"Hows Laurie handling it?"

"I don't know, shes been pretty quiet. She wont talk about it.... shes been tidying Jakes room since we got home"

"You should go check she's okay..... she's going to need you Andy"

"And what about what i need?....."

"You'll need eachother..."

"Thats not what i need....." he mumbled quietly but i still heard.

"You should go try and get some sleep, if you need me you know where i am"

"Okay.... thank you Y/N"

"Anytime".

We said our goodbyes and ended the call, i tossed my phone on the coffee table shaking my head. Id met Jacob a couple times over the months id worked with Andy and he seemed like such a sweet kid.... how was this happening?

Around 11 i headed to bed, i wasn't tired at all but i had to try and get some sleep. I laid in bed staring at the ceiling for way too long! My head whipped towards the bedroom door when i heard a light knocking at the front door. I sat up kicking off the sheets and walking over to the window, peering out i saw Andy standing there! Looking down at myself i realised i was only wearing a tank top and my panties, i grabbed my dressing gown from the back of the door and quickly slipped it on as i made my way downstairs.

"Hey.... sorry to just stop by like this i know its late...." he said as soon as i opened the door.

"Its fine.... you okay?"

"I don't know, i went for a drive to clear my head and ended up here" he shrugged shaking his head.

"You wanna come in? I can make you a cup of tea...."

"Okay, yeah that'd be nice. You sure?...."

"Of course, come in. I couldn't sleep anyway" i smiled opening the door wide enough for him to come in. He followed me into the kitchen taking off his coat and tossing it over the back of one of my dining room chairs. I pulled a couple of mugs out the cupboard and flicked on the kettle, when i turned around Andy was walking towards me undoing his top button of his shirt and loosening his tie. He looked exhausted.

"Thanks again for this" he said quietly leaning against my kitchen sink crossing his arms as he watched me make the tea.

"Honestly Andy its fine. I don't mind at all...."

"Y/N...?"

"Yeah?" i turned to face him and he held his hand out towards me, i didn't even think about it, my hand automatically reached for his and i let him pull me towards him until there was no gap between us. His arms tightened around me holding me close.

"Andy...." i started to say leaning back to get a look at him but i was cut off when he closed the gap between us again and kissed me. This kiss was different to the others we shared and nearly took my breath away, i had to push him back a little to catch my breath.

"Maybe we shouldn't be doing this right now...." i gasped trying to clear my head.

"Why not? I need you.... i was thinking we could pick up where we left off this morning" he said with sexy as hell grin.

"I just.... i don't think its a good idea...."

"Is this because of whats going on with Jake? You don't want me anymore?" He took a step back looking down on me like i had physically hurt him.

"What...?! No! It has nothing to do with that! You know i'm on your side!"

"So what is it? Whats changed...."

"Its just, your family needs you and your here with me.... i feel guilty"

"Well don't. I cant do anything for Jake until tomorrow anyway and Laurie and I barely speak on a good day"

"And your not just here because your lonely?"

"No! Im here because for the few minutes/hours i'm with you.... you make everything seem okay.... i cant stop thinking about you"

"And i'm not just a distraction?..... i've done the whole casual thing and that doesn't work for me...."

"I don't want this to be a casual thing. I don't want to have to share you with the likes of Frank" he pulled me close again "i'm too possessive to share you. I want to know that your mine and only mine" his hands moved down and untied the knot on my dressing gown before slowly pushing it open "look at you...." he mumbled bitting at his bottom lip as his eyes took in my half naked body "your not wearing much sweetheart"

"I wasn't expecting company..."'i replied breathlessly and he pushed the dressing gown all the way off until it pooled around my feet.

"Please tell me you still want this.....that you still want me..." he whispered as he pressed kisses under my ear, his hands running under my tank top caressing my back.

"I want you" i nodded quickly as i got lost in his touch. That was apparently all he needed to hear, Andy picked me up like i weighed nothing and carried me through to the bedroom.

I was woken up by kisses being placed over my collarbones and up my neck before he reached my mouth.

"Mmm i could get used to that kinda wake up" i smirked as i stretched and tried to open one eye at least! It was then i noticed Andy was sat beside me fully dressed.

"Your leaving already?....."

"I don't want to believe me! I would be more than happy to just stay in bed with you..... but i have to get home and get ready for Jacob's arraignment"

"Okay" i gave him a smile as i run my fingers over his bearded jaw "call me later?"

"Of course. Im gonna tell Laurie about us.... i don't want to hide this from her"

"Is now really the time?..."

"It'll be fine" he leaned down and kissed me "go back to sleep"

"Okay, hope everything goes okay with Jake"

"Thank you" Andy smiled, quickly kissed me again and then covered me with the blanket that i must have kicked off in the night "i'll call you when i get home from the courthouse" he said as he headed to the door, he gave me one last look then he was gone.

All the news channels were covering the Ben Rifkin murder. I sat watching as Andy and Laurie walked into the courthouse behind an older woman who must be Jacobs lawyer. The reporters swarming around them shouting questions and hoping for some kind of comment from them, but they both just carried on walking into the courthouse their faces void of any emotion. I decided i didn't want to watch anymore and headed to the kitchen to make some breakfast and a cup of coffee.

A couple hours later Andy was calling me as promised.

"Hey" i answered "how'd it go?"

"Horrible.... but his home. Pretrial is set for August 21st"

"Is Jacob okay?"

"His tired, his sleeping at the moment"

"Im guessing he didn't sleep much last night, poor kid" i shook my head at the thought of him in a cell all night.

"I told Laurie about us" he suddenly blurted out "we've got reporters camped outside the house and following us everywhere, i didn't want her to find out through them"

"Okay, how'd she take it?"

"She was fine with it, she actually asked when she was gonna meet you"

"Oh..... i don't know about that" i shook my head feeling my heart race.

"Y/N its fine, like i said its been over between us for a while now. We're like best friends.... please?"

"Andy....."

"There's something i need to talk to you about as well"

"Fine. You coming to me or am i coming to you?"

"Could you come here.... i don't want to leave Jacob and Laurie alone with the reporters camped outside"

"Okay. Do you guys need anything? I could stop by the store on my way" i asked biting my at my nail nervously.

"That would be great actually"

"Okay text me what you need, im just gonna go get dressed and then i'll head out"

"Okay sweetheart, thank you".

After ending the call with Andy i went upstairs to get ready. I was already a nervous wreck at the thought of meeting Laurie but part of me knew i needed to do it, just so that i could put my mind at rest that she really was okay with me and Andy.... that i wasn't being a 'home wrecker'.

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit

Rose Coloured Glasses taglist: @readermia @princess-evans-addict @jennmurawski13 @matsumama @ex-bloodjunkie @kaithezaftig @rynabarnesrogers-reading @rainbowkisses31 @ms-betsy-fangirl @supernaturalwintersoldier

[imastrangebean]

taz things ive been meaning to write down

ok so The Adventure Zone is a blessing to this world as are the McElroys in general

idk where i was going with that theyre just great

ANYWAYS

something that always lowkey bothered me about balance was the slight inconsistencies that arose from the fact that the story wasnt completely fleshed out until like halfway through crystal kingdom

dont get me wrong i love every little detail about taz but my brain always has to read too much into things and so ive overanalyzed a lot of the things from the beginning and i figured id share it

spoilers btw

1. Merle has gaps in his memory where he’ll accidentally remember things the Voidfish took away from him at random moments in time.

This is something I saw on another post, and now I cant unsee it

There are several moments where Clint has made some sort of goof that alludes to something that ends up happening later on. Of course, mechanically, this couldn’t have actually been planned, but I doubt any of these were. It’s just a nice little coincidence to tie up the story.

For example, when Merle asks to talk while they’re walking in (I believe it was) Wave Echo Cave, he phrases it in a way to make it sound like they’ve known each other for a while when they’d supposedly just met. (”I just feel like we’ve grown apart.”) Another time, in Crystal Kingdom, when Noelle was explaining what Liches were, Clint joked and said something along the lines of “Well I have some close friends that are liches.” (Lup and Barry) He is also the one to step in when Taako almost succumbs to the Gaia Sash, and he asserts his dominance in an unconventional but successful manner. 

2. The reason THB can handle the relics is because they helped create them.

This one is pretty straightforward, but I don’t know if they actually said it in the podcast.

3. Lucretia talked about the Umbra-Staff.

Going back and relistening to the podcast caused me to realize a couple of things. This is where I’m talking about the inconsistencies; the first two were just random headcanons I thought I’d jot down.

When Taako brings the Umbra-Staff to the Bureau of Balance headquarters, Lucretia tells him to bring it to Leon who finds the Umbra-Staff in his book. There was only ever one Umbra-Staff made, as was revealed in The Stolen Century, since Lup only needed one. The Umbra-Staff was also an original creation, so there would be no reason for there to be copies of it unless one of the seven birds tried to replicate it, and Lup is probably the only one who would be able to match it exactly. As a result, it can be assumed that Leon’s book was somehow factually incorrect. It says in his book that the Umbra-Staff is one of many, not one of a kind; not to mention the fact that it was in his book at all. The seven birds kept a low profile on Faerun before Lucretia and Fisher turned everything upside down, so there’s no logical reason as to why anyone but the seven of them would know about the Umbra-Staff. That would mean that one of them wrote Leon’s book, and, considering where it ended up and its off-putting misinformation, it was almost definitely Lucretia. She likely put the Umbra-Staff in his book as a way to honor Lup or in hopes that she would return, identifiable by her unconventional wand, but she probably pretended there were multiple in an attempt to keep suspicions from arising as to where this one-of-a-kind object no one has heard about came from.

4. Lucretia was teaching Davenport how to talk.

As we all know, Davenport lost the ability to say anything but his name after Fisher erased his memories. This means that he didn’t learn how to talk until sometime after joining the Institute of Planar Research and Exploration. He did, however, learn how to speak before the century-long mission; this is shown when he talks in front of the crowd at the assembly-type event that was arranged to celebrate the beginning of the mission. Even so, Lucretia erased the IPRE and, subsequentially, Davenport’s ability to communicate.

She probably didn’t realize that would happen, as he probably learned to speak before meeting her, and she probably felt guilty. That would explain why she kept him so close to her side, so she could protect and nurture him. He’d acted as somewhat a fatherly figure in the group, (though he was still their friend, and he did some reckless stuff; don’t get me wrong) and Lucretia would’ve felt the need to repay him. She would’ve had to start teaching him to speak sometime between the original erasure of everyone’s memories and the arrival of THB. The reason I say this is because, while Davenport is known for only ever saying his name, he starts out saying more than just that. It doesn’t last long, but he does communicate in concise sentences for his first few interactions with THB. The only way that would be possible would be if he were being coached by someone, and that someone would’ve had to be Lucretia. Lucretia likely stopped once she saw Taako, Magnus, and Merle, as she probably decided to then focus her efforts solely on channeling the relics and the light of creation into the shielding spell.

Another interesting thing I’ve seen about that is something that I personally accept as a headcanon: 

Magnus, upon gaining the knowledge that Davenport can only say his name, decides to prank Davenport by scaring him and saying “Magnus!” to mimic Davenport in a sense. However, when he does, Davenport reflexively jumps and responds with “Dammit, Magnus, stop doing that!” They then both get confused, and Davenport immediately goes back to being unable to talk.

anyways thats a lot of typing im probably gonna lay down now