#I feel like I'm lacking a main ''end point'' that most of my fics have

[shikai-the-storyteller]

I would've been done with this FitPac by now (copium) if I hadn't gotten stuck researching prosthetics and the daily lives of amputees for the last week and a half, but tbh getting distracted by research for days on end is pretty par for the course for me.

[celtrist]

I really want to see a more fucked up version of Charlie in canon. Like, okay, I am a die-hard for sweet bubbly girls in media. But I always see how some people make Charlie actually, oh I dunno... demonic? And it's so refreshing for her type of character. I could honestly see her having low empathy (and we kinda see this with how she handled Angel's situation or even Vaggie's nervousness about taking control on an activity). An exploration of that trait (if it was intended) would be interesting to see for a protagonist, especially when her main goal is about helping others. I would love to see her actually have a level of difficulty in understanding others' feelings from the other residents, sinners, and even her father.

But give her a fucked up side. Not a "she gets more power when she's angey uwu", but a "oh, she's a little fucked in the head". It would give so much to her character that she just doesn't have.

@/murmurmurena (don't wanna bother them so slash there we go) has some fun ideas with Charlie. I highly encourage people to check their stuff out! So many fun dark ideas with her character while also still keeping to her canon personality pretty well! Personally, I think Charlie being a bit more naive to her own messed up traits would work best but her also being aware of these traits can make for some interesting character for her.

THIS FIC, "A Game Between You and I". RIGHT HERE WITH THE FIRST CHAPTER. A bit of spoil for the fic here: but I love how they handled Charlie’s absolute ignorance as to why the idea of Russian roulette is horrifying to Angel Dust. It doesn't feel like her being intentionally malicious or aware that she's the odd man out here. This is also a pretty old fic going by only the pilot, but the point still stands that it was such a fun take for her character!

Charlie is one of my favorite characters in the show in part of the POTENTIAL she could have as being the most bubbly sweetheart character while also being the most messed up character in the show. I can't say I have strong confidence with the show's writing and fully expect them to stick with Charlie being the "nice girl but oh no, don't get her angry or she gets scarwy". Which isn't bad for a character mind you, there's just so much more potential to Charlie outside of that trope, especially when you get into the theories of her either being a doll, Roo's biological daughter, or what have you. And for the MAIN CHARACTER of the show, it would be not only interesting but also bring the spotlight back to her.

There's really no question that the side characters steal the show, particularly all the male characters. If I'm honest, Charlie does not feel like she gets a lot of love from the show itself when she's supposed to be the main character. She feels far more flat compared to the rest of the characters (again, the male cast in this "female-lead" show has more depth than most of the female cast currently. I wouldn't be pointing this tidbit concerning the genders of characters if it weren't for the fact Viv defended Helluva's lack of development with their female cast by saying "Hazbin is a female-lead show and Helluva is a male-lead" and Hazbin ended up with it not feeling female lead (to me) and the male cast just completely stealing the show. I don't normally care about gender stuff, especially since I do personally lean interest towards male characters. But using one show as a defense for poor development of the female characters, and then that show not really holding up with no very interesting well-developed feeling female characters irritates me. It's just very clear that these shows don't seem to care much about the female cast :/)

If you like how Charlie is written that's totally fine. PERSONALLY, I just think they're missing so much opportunity with her character by just making her the standard female character type. I honestly don't have a lot of faith they'll actually do something with Charlie's character though. She's a pretty static character in S1 being the same from start to end. Not changing or learning anything to create any development. What does the end of season Charlie do that start of season Charlie wouldn't do? Fight back? Because we see with the pilot (which is the “first episode”) that Charlie does fight people if pushed like with Katie Killjoy and even Valentino. Static characters can work in media depending on the show or their role. But Charlie is the MC of a show about “bettering one's self”. So to have her as a static with not a lot of strong dilemmas for herself (like we see with Angel Husk Al and even Vox) seems silly. Plus, considering Hazbin is telling a whole story and it's not a fun episodic thing, characters are expected to grow on some level. Or else, what was the point of their hero's journey?

[olderthannetfic]

Nearly 75% of fic on AO3 has less than 5 reader comments. Can we please acknowledge that lack of engagement in a positive fashion is the norm in fandom and that writers are expected to work for nothing in return yet readers are allowed to be entitled?

The source of my number

https://www.tumblr.com/transholmes/738776926733336576/and-even-those-numbers-on-the-lower-end-are

--

Hahahahaha.

Oh, anon.

Okay, first of all, I just posted a bunch of graphs showing exactly this, so not only am I well aware of it, but you also clearly don't read my tumblr much and are just here because some friend of yours is upset that I responded negatively to them about their dumb bookmarking opinions.

Second and more importantly...

No, no one is expected to do anything.

That's crazypants influencer talk where you think your hobbies are jobs that you have no choice about doing.

I suppose I do expect fans to have something at least marginally worthwhile to say—or else I'll block them for being whiny little bitches who make my day dumber as well as less amusing.

But mostly, what I expect is that people will do hobbies because they are fun. If I ever decide that writing fic is too boring, I will stop.

I write because it's fun.

I write original work for money too, and if you want to read that, you're going to have to pay Amazon your cold, hard cash. But I still do it because I enjoy the actual act of writing... at least a lot of the time.

What I see in the bookmark boo-hooing is a bunch of people who haven't noticed the last eighty thousand rounds of this same dumb wank and who not only expect to get the last word but expect that somehow I'm going to signal boost it on my tumblr as that... a tumblr known for contentious debates and nobody ever getting the last word till everyone's exhausted and never wants to hear about paper plates or beans again.

I also see that some of the thinnest-skinned people have fic patreons.

Now, I chose not to bring this up before because it sounds a bit below the belt in that "And thus you're morally impure and thus I can ignore your argument" way... But it's a consistent pattern in these conversations over time, and I do think it's relevant. The biggest sensitive babies are always the ones most afraid of bad reviews but also low engagement, and I think it's because they're caught in some half-pro, half-not limbo where they want the best of both worlds but keep getting the worst of both.

If you behave like a professional who is owed compensation, you can expect a more professional style of response to your work.

And what does the pro world look like? Radio silence. The occasional harsh review. Nobody caring why you wanted to write X or why you couldn't finish Y on time.

If you're here to socialize, you should look for a beta or a couple of good friends who like your blorbos and your style of fic, and then you can squee together about what you've written. It may not come in the form of visible AO3 comments. It may be in private chat.

In some cases, it may just be friends you can talk to about your writing but who aren't actually going to read it. I have plenty of friends who read different things than what I write.

That's what socializing and hobbies look like, dude.

It's fine to point out that many writers do get discouraged by low comment counts and then stop, so if I, as a reader in a fandom, want more, it behooves me to befriend writers and make them feel good.

But at the same time, writers get discouraged or move on to the next fandom all the time for all kinds of reasons. If the critical mass and the zeitgeist aren't there, then they aren't.

Do your hobbies for reasons internal to you.

If the main point is external validation, get into BDSM and find someone excited to indulge your praise kink. It will work a lot better than chasing fame via art.

[pinkomcranger]

my thoughts on Saga Anderson and the lack of spotlight on her in fanworks

Hmmm…this has been bothering me since I waded into the fandom after AW2 dropped. WHY DOES 99.9% OF THE FANDOM SLEEP ON SAGA WHILE IT'S HALF HER GAME???

I DON'T understand the fixation on Casey (even though I adore him and he's the other half of my OTP), or Zane to the point that when Saga is in ensemble art, she's relegated to being the "bro". And for what purpose? She has just as much build up and storyline as Alan himself. She certainly has more screen time than FBI Casey. I see posts going "oh, I love Saga so much, she was so badass" and then almost nothing when it comes to fan work.

Do y'all understand, how, as a black woman, this frustrates me to NO end? I go to her tag on AO3, see new fics, get excited...just to see she's the bro or footnote to CaseyWake. I've literally been brought to TEARS over this. Saga was written with SO much love and care, and it's so obvious. She was not the stereotypical sassy, angry, loud black woman that we tend to get when we're even thought of at all.

And it's genuinely PAINFUL to see all of the love, all of that care, ALL OF THAT RESPECT, IGNORED by fandom because you want to focus on the white men. Because why? I get it, het is so icky for most of you, fine. But to not even give her fanart/fics just on her and her daughter? It's terribly egregious.

Saga Anderson is genuinely a role model. She's smart, warm, funny, dedicated, sympathetic and passionate. She will change REALITY just to save the ones she loves. She's NEVER had to deal with anything like the Bright Falls situation and she came through it with such GRACE. She saved the fucking day. She did what Alan couldn't do in THIRTEEN YEARS. And she gets no recognizance in fanworks?

And I know the majority of this fandom happens to be made up of women, at least for fanworks. You truly mean to tell me you can't, at all, even a little bit, relate to this woman? You can't make her the focus, instead of a background character? The white men are easier to understand and draw/write for?

I can't tell anyone who to like, or who to ship, nor would I ever try to, because on the internet, it seems like het is icky despite how amazing the woman is. But I've seen comments towards andercase fanart going "Saga, no, you're married!" But shipping CaseyWake in the same breath, despite Alan being married and getting back to his wife being the main motivation for Alan to do anything at all.

It comes off as hypocritical, it comes off a wee bit "I don't know what to do with this black woman...hmm, let's just make her root for CaseyWake" I'm left feeling that Sam and the team love Saga more than the fans ever do or will. And that fucking sucks. Because to put so much thought into a character and love the character, just to be ignored?

That hurts, really really badly. I genuinely enjoyed feeling like I was represented. I loved having a character I could relate to, one I could understand. But it feels like I'm in the minority. When she tells Alan he's not alone in this, this is THEIR story...well, that was the truth for me, and I wish others felt the same way.

I genuinely adore the works Saga has gotten that focus on her, and I see so much love and care put into them. It just somehow feels like fandom made this game into CaseyWake 24/7 and it's icky.

[total-drama-brainrot]

How firmly do you believe in Noah's ability to copy voices?

I have seen people make him be able to copy other contestants voices and mimicking them to a point it feels uncanny to the other contestants.

My point? P! Noah would definitely use that to his advantage. I just think that was a cool concept so here. :)

Anon I need you to understand that I've already used that exact concept in one of my fics. Like, it was an integral part of the first chapter of said fic. (And one that I regret not using more, since it's such a fun concept to play with. My drafts are full of different scenarios using this exact premise.)

I believe whole-heartedly in giving Noah weird party trick abilities and other "obscure" talents like vocal mimicry - but only when he uses them in the most unhelpful ways possible.

Mostly because he's kind of lacking when it comes to his viability as a contestant in the show; most of his competitors are either physically gifted to make up for their mental/emotional shortcomings (i.e. Eva, Izzy, Courtney, Sierra, ect.), intentionally or unintentionally adept at playing the social aspect of the game (Alejandro, Justin kind of, Owen, Lindsay, ect), or have some sort of character gimmick that benefits them in the competition (Harold's... Harold-ness, Izzy's wildcard energy). Noah doesn't have that. It's actually kind of impressive just how useless Noah is in terms of the competition, since he's supposed to be one of the smartest characters in the show but his slothful nature prevents him from actually utilizing this.

My answer? Have Noah use that big brain of his to develop and cultivate weird talents that end up being somewhat useful. Like the ability to mimic voices. And his canonical hacking abilities that he never uses in the main series.

In terms of p!Noah, I'm actually on the fence on giving him the same ability. Mostly because he's already got both canon Noah's smarts and the physical prowess to make him a competitive threat, even if he still maintains the same apathy towards the competition itself. He isn't really focused on winning the competition itself, but his innate skillset makes him a pretty big threat regardless, especially if he ever decides to shift his focus from self entertainment to trying to win. Giving him extra abilities on top of his established skillset just seems like overkill.

But. One of the core aspects of p!Noah's character is his prankster-type nature, which is mostly a result of him trying to stave off his perpetual boredom by pulling pranks and jokes on his competitors. In very much the same vein that canon Noah throws jabs and barbed comments at his castmates, p!Noah instead plots and schemes different ways to make them suffer for his entertainment (whilst also throwing out jabs an barbed comments). It wouldn't exactly be out of character for him to commit himself to learning how to copy voices just for the sake of tormenting people.

Especially if he's using said talent before the "reveal".

Could you imagine the kind of shit p!Noah could stir just by using someone else's voice? He's got the same unnoteworthy background character benefits as canon Noah for the first season- barring Izzy's immediate attention as a fellow person of flimsy sanity- so he'd be able to blend seamlessly into the background and gather information on the more vocal campers, stuff he'd easily be able to twist and recontextualise in the earshot of others; for his own benefit, sure, but p!Noah wouldn't care about using this for his own standing in the game so much as his own amusement.

It'd be more in character for him to use Gwen's voice to make an off-handed comment about how he thinks guys who play guitar are "trying too hard" or something, coincidentally when Trent himself is near enough to overhear, just to watch their will-they-won't-they song and dance crumble under the strain of Trent's insecurity. (Which could either help or hinder Heather's later stunt, which takes advantage of that same insecurity.)

There's a nearly endless well of opportunity when it comes to fucking around with vocal mimicry and p!Noah would cherish that fact.

Or maybe he'd wait for Heather and Leshawna to get into another argument during one of the Gopher's challenges, more specifically for them to end an argument and walk away from each other in a huff, only to chime in with Heather's voice,

"Ugh, what a bitch."

Just loud enough for the two of them to hear and consequently react to; Leshawna, of course, with reignited outrage and Heather with gobsmacked confusion. Leshawna would immediately confront Heather about the comment, and only get more mad when Heather denies saying it- despite it being in her voice. Meanwhile, Noah watches the two of them taunt each other into a bigger confrontation with the added benefit of the rest of their team scrambling to diffuse the situation (and get back on task for whatever challenge they're supposed to be doing).

[fermiomoriblog]

The pitfalls of every Sunny ship

Diving straight into the hot coals with the first post. But it has been on my mind lately.

The setup in Omori is naturally quite mentally (and in some cases physically) taxing on every main cast character, and a shipper can very easily be overenthusiastic about getting a "happy ending" for their preferred pair, glossing over inconvenient problems and dynamics. I think that it really is rather contrary to the game's themes that this occurs, but it is also understandable that not everybody does a full psychoanalysis of every plot point in their story. I'll list some "common" problems I've personally encountered with people making content about sunburn, suntan and sunflower. I'm more familiar with the dynamics common on ao3 than elsewhere, so if you have any other observations or things to add, please feel free to do so.

# OMORI SPOILERS BELOW #

Sunburn

The "canon" ship. The fact that the ship is explicitly mentioned in game means that the ship is viewed as the "default", and it can lead to some lazy dynamics or lack of justification. You have to remember that no matter what headspace says (and headspace says a lot of things that aren't true), the first thing Sunny and Aubrey did after four years is beat the shit out of each other. Sunny knows nothing about the Hooligans, even though we do, and Aubrey thinks Sunny abandoned her (which is a feeling unlikely to abate after the truth). There needs to be basis for the ship as well - they aren't going to just pick up where they left off (presuming they had anything to leave off in the first place) right away. Which leads us to the first common problem:

Basing the relationship entirely on the past

This is the default reaction and requires the least writing creativity, so it is not surprising that it is common. Simply porting the HS dynamic or the swing scene to the future and copy-pasting is fun and cute and all, but it ignores the fact that both Sunny and Aubrey have changed massively. There's a lot of guilt that is going around, both with Sunny for obvious reasons and Aubrey for pushing Basil in the lake, and Aubrey has a bunch of new, closer friends whom depending on your interpretation are either theatre kids or delinquents. This is not really just going to get talked away on the swing set - they involve third parties.

I would venture to argue that this is actually a very problematic pitfall, despite it being generally not a very serious transgression in real life. Omori, as a game, is about moving on from the past. If you write a fic where the characters forget about bad things in the past but hang on like hell to the good things... that's Headspace. You've just put Sunny in a new Headspace.

Getting Basil out of the way

Even among sunburn/suntan shippers, it is pretty generally accepted that Basil was somewhat attached to Sunny even before the accident. So if you don't want to do sunflower, how do you deal with that?

You can write angst, where Aubrey and Basil end up fighting over Sunny. Weirdly, I've never seen this actually happen (probably because it's too heartbreaking). You can have Basil go to therapy, and get rid of an unhealthy attachment. You can also go the seriously angsty route of Basil hating Sunny for abandonment, Sunny hating Basil for his role in the incident, or a less intense version which just puts a barrier between the two. You can also have Sunny reject Basil. Or you can argue that the attachment was platonic, which is entirely fair.

What you cannot do is have Basil be romantically interested in Sunny, but "get out of the way" for Aubrey "so that Sunny can be happy". Or, well, you can do that, but you can't frame it as anything but serious angst from Basil's POV.

Unfortunately, many, many "pure fluff" Sunburn fics do this, because "pure fluff" fics don't want to untangle the whole thing as most methods involve some degree of emotional turnmoil. This is no ordinary infautation - Basil has waited for Sunny for four years. Nursing unrequited love like that is really, really painful. It is certainly not something that someone with Basil's character and history can do with a smile on their face. If you need any further convincing, I point you to Note to Self: Don't Be Gay in Faraway Town by witheredahlia.

A version of this which I think is a lesser sin (because it is at least framed with some nuance), but a sin regardless, is Aubrey getting annoyed at Basil for "stealing" Sunny's attention from her. This gets dangerously close to the reddit comments you see about "the friend group will be better off if Basil never joined".

Suntan

Despite sunburn being the "canon" and sunflower being the natural alternative, I actually think that this is the default. After all, Kel was the one to bring Sunny out, generally saving his life, and is his first friend, etc. Kel is also a clean slate character, with nothing anyone can particularly hold against them, and as a result suntan is the "healthiest", "least questionable" ship. This commits the customary mistake of believing Kel's parents when they say "eh, it's Kel, he'll be fine".

"Kel's fine"

No, he's not. He's spent the better part of four years trying to forget the happiest times of his childhood, and has been going around doing nothing but fixing and saving other people, putting others' needs far above his own, for the entirety of pre-canon and foreseeably for a good part of post canon as well. Suntan, especially with Sunny still in a vulnerable state post-canon, can very easily be written into Kel being Sunny's unpaid, untrained therapist, and his mood/health being Kel's only/majority source of validation. Kel's self-worth independent of his friends needs addressing and development, and without a lot of development, Sunny alone is not really equipped to provide that.

In all fairness, while I would be somewhat confident in saying that the majority of canon-compliant sunburn fics run into the problems above, suntan fics do usually handle it better. That might just be because there aren't that many suntan fics though.

Sunflower

It goes without saying that sunflower has the highest potential to be unhealthy. But precisely because of that fact, people writing sunflower are usually very careful to address it. Either the fic is written as a work exploring codependency/attachment/trauma/other general unhealthiness (which you can make your own judgement on whether it's a legitimate art form or problematic), or there is at minimum an attempt at pacing, therapy and general juggling of the various mental issues the game leaves Sunny and Basil with (for a shining example, see These Days Without You by Smitty1899, my go to answer for when anyone says "but sunflower toxic!!1!").

The issues that can make sunflower unhealthy and problematic are generally pretty obvious - shared crime, codependency and attachment, commitment and abandonment issues, and the whole "getting together before their friends forgive them" thing (which can still be done well, but from the POV of especially Hero can be kind of eh, and unlikely to be conducive to a healthy relationship given that it kind of depends on their friends' pending "approval".) As a result, there aren't a lot of works that don't address them in one manner or another. However, I do think there is one major pitfall that some fics fall into in the other direction:

Having everything in the relationship be dependent on someone else's approval.

In an attempt to make sunflower as healthy as possible, some authors make it so that Sunny and Basil effectively never make decisions on their own. There's always a third party present to psychoanalyse them, tell them what's fine and what's not, etc. and every step they make in their relationship is with the express blessing, support and help of the rest of their friends. The problem is, that's not healthy either.

I feel that the value of sunflower is greatest in the context of the themes of the game of moving on and forgiveness. Making it so that Sunny and Basil hang on to their guilt forever and robbing them of any "right" to decide for themselves what makes them happy is very much contrary to that - they're on crutches for the rest of their lives, and the point of the good ending is the hope that they won't need to be. It also is just not a good thing for any third party to intervene so extensively in a relationship.

Conclusion

Omori is emotionally deep, with many, many themes to explore. Ships in Omori have unique meanings and themes, which in a canon compliant context is quite hard to simply wipe away. Rushing into a ship with insufficient pacing and development, which works in "cute" fandoms, generally leaves lots of outstanding holes in Omori.

This post doesn't necessarily mean that I think less of any particular ship mentioned - to reiterate, every ship has unique meanings and themes which is interesting to explore and form a part of the message of the game. It is however true that some pitfalls in some ships are easier to fall in, and overlooked, than others, and the obvious problems get a lot more bashing than the non-obvious ones. (Yes, sunflower bias. Sue me.)

And of course, in a plotless or AU context, cute art is cute art.

[dittaturamonegasca]

I think there should bé a fic where anyone from the grid would be third wheeling Landoscar, like, have you seen how these two interact.

So, I lack the ability and the time of f1writingbyme and LestappenForever to make this idea into a proper work like they did for "How (Not) To Third Wheel Lestappen" (check it out on Ao3 if you haven't already, definitely worth it) BUT BUT BUT, I can tell you how I think most of the grid would react in third wheeling Landoscar!

1) I feel like we should spare Checo, cause honestly this man has had enough as third wheel of Maxiel and Lestappen, I don't wanna give him extra traumas, SO –

2) Logan Sargeant: this one I really feel guilty about. Cause I like the narrative of him and Oscah being besties and still I cry over the sad edits of Logan just left behind. I think Landoscar with Logan has the most space for improvement?? I forgive Oscar even tho he definitely ghosted the poor Logan for the whole honeymoon phase with Lando (it's been almost two years, Osc, get a grip). I have a feeling Logan will speak up at some point and this would shake Oscar a little, so maybe he would be the more aware and more involved third wheel, possibly? They'll end up doing triple video-games championships with Lando and Logan mocking Oscar's gaming skills, mark my words.

3) Carlos Sainz: my man how does it feel to know you've wasted your chance (multiple chances, lets be real) for good? I have mixed ideas about this one, cause I think it would probably being more like Lando struggling to keep them both as close as possible resulting in Oscar being rightfully jealous 👀👀 so the third wheeling situation would be like Lando trying to involve a very annoyed and confused Carlos in their things (safe for work, ofc). I don't really see a way out of it.

4) Daniel Ricciardo: I mention him but I can't really explain cause honestly my idea of Daniel third-wheeling Landoscar is either him babysit them around Australia and bonding with Oscar over weird aussie habits OR OR OR something very NOT SAFE WORK so ( ... )

5) Max Verstappen: I love to think he'll remain an unbothered king, you know? Like he's well aware and a bit upset that his crepes companion invited someone else (beside from Daniel) to their dessert dates and that the two of them acts like lovebirds even without an actual physical contact. He'll probably send SOS texts to Charles and Daniel until a topic of (his) interest comes out and honestly at that point the power of maxplaining will win over pretty much everything and everyone. At the end of the day Landoscar turn out to be the real victims.

6) George Russell: poor thing was originally invited for a golf morning from Carlos (Landoscar were already supposed to attend), but Chili called off last minute so Georgie ended up with just the others two. LET ME TELL YOU he jumped off the golf cart cause he saw Lando placing a hand on Oscar's thigh and feared for his life. It took several minutes for them to notice he was aggressively walking behind. He was also hit by a golf ball because Oscar distracted Lando for a second too long, I guess you can figure out the rest.

7) Special mention to the PR and the McLaren team in general who's main job rn is having them to SIMPLY F O C U S outside the pit for like interviews and debriefings. I can picture Lando losing it after hearing a single compliment like "SO YOU THINK I'M PRETTY", cause ✨babygirl✨ energy hitting here and there, even tho he has tried to be somehow a model for Oscar, at least for what concerns work. Indeed I pity trainers and strategists bc ofc Oscar listens at them, but image them trying to explain a concept to him just for Lando to get there and rephrase it in the dumbest way possible and Oscar going like OHHHHH NOW I GOT IT, COULDN'T YOU EXPLAIN IT THAT WAY?

8) This is mostly a guilty pleasure but do we all agree they torture the entire f1 group chat with their subtle flirting?

IDK if this was what you had in mind but I really REALLY had fun writing it.

So let me know what you think in the comments down below, if you agree or if you want me to make it longer and/or more detailed or just to focus on a specific one in particular?

Again, my dms and box section are open to discussions, requests and any sort of (respectful) thing!

PEACE OUT 🤌🏻❤️

[danmeiconfession]

I'm going anonymous because I might get a lot of disagreement, but to me, Shen Yuan's character is very replaceable. He reads like a reader-insert, there to fix the story, which he canonically is. He's more of a "window dressing" because what's important is not who he is but the body he's in, which acts as the catalyst. His connection with the characters revolves around them, and even till the end, his outlook on them doesn't change. What I mean is, he isn't important in the way a main character would be, because although we follow his point of view, he's essentially just a window through which we view the story, so he feels disconnected.

He's funny, but what sets him apart from many other Chinese main characters besides his humor? Oh shit, the Main character has the hots for me seen that shit done millions of time.

He lacks so much compared to SJ that it's not even funny. I don't even know if the author did this unironically because how is the original character the one to steal the show in such a short time we get to know him, with the majority of fanfics dedicated to him because he's that interesting compared to the rest of the cast; he solos them all. Hate him or not, SJ fits more with MXTX brand of protagonists than SY, I'm sorry.

He doesn't grow; he's complacent, and the only thing he really gains in the end is Binghe's affection, which hinges on the identity of the body he is in. I've never read a story of a transmigrator who doesn't reveal their identity, especially in an MXTX work with Lan Zhan seeing through WWX the second the flute played. Let me tell you, many stories, especially in Chinese BL novels, simplify or villainies the original character to garner no sympathy, so to have your expectations flipped and realize that the allegations were wrong, and how you thought of him is like reading someone's story of WWX but with a different lens on the character, with everyone slandering him . To have the original character be a villain and be so important that just having someone else be him changes events is incredibly interesting.

The original character is so significant that he garners the enmity of three important ladies, earns the absolute hatred of the main character, and he single handidly profoundly influences the development of Yue Qingyuan and Luo Binghe, two of the most powerful characters in the book. Despite this, he isn't even the final villain; he's merely a starting point. The extent of his influence and power is truly remarkable.

He's too powerful. No wonder so many people make him the protagonist in AO3 look how loyal LQG was to SQQ. So many change of events you could do with this one singular character that SY isn't even on my radar of my fics to read.

.

[foxufortunes]

Having a day, mostly because plotting out the back halves of some fics, where I think about my complicated feelings on how AFTG's main trilogy ended. And I don't mean Riko's death and everything surrounding that and the lack of falling action following that (I'm not a fan, I prefer a long period behind the climax but like, it's an author's choice, it doesn't ruin the series, plenty of my faves also do that) or at least, not entirely that. I mean, not so much the details, but the broad strokes, and in some ways going back to my post and some thoughts about how Riko starts as Kevin and Andrew's antagonist and ends as Neil's, how Nathan feels like an antagonist but is actually just a scary man here for torture and then to be killed off by a guy who's been mentioned a handful of times and never appeared before that moment, and how that's reflected in the order of the third books events even though logic would dictate the torture and murder should be the more serious threat and therefore the climax rather than the game with the mafia brat on live TV and that Andrew is basically Neil's antagonist for the first book.

And because, for some reason, I have to do this whenever I engage with this series in a critical way: I do not hate the series or Nora, this is not hate, I love AFTG, have read it at least a dozen of times and I in fact do not waste time engaging critically with series I do not enjoy. I find engaging with media critically and looking at its good and bads to be a good way to connect with it and improve my own work. If there's room for civilised discussion, great, if you're going to tell me "you're wrong" I don't care, one's personal reading of a series cannot be wrong, simply not the same as yours, go away.

So this is going to be a bit messy, so bear with me, but I always find it interesting that the torture and potential murder of Neil, and his reverting to Nathaniel, and the family connection is all treated as a simple stepping stone while Riko and the finals the grand climax. And I think it's sort of a symptom of how the blended reality of mafia and sports has sort of skewed the priorities of the story. Logic dictates that in a mafia (and most stories) the biggest threat to your life should be the biggest plot point and therefore the climax, while the sports drama ofc has the finals as the finale (and I could do a whole other essay on how for all AFTG is gritty and dark, it plays the actual sports drama narrative of underdog beats the champions and wins it all with surprisingly straight and by the book). So yeah, one would think that the life threatening and family drama would come as the real climax, especially since, as I said, Riko starts as Andrew and Kevin's issue while Nathan is Neil's.

But then Riko's attention shifts almost entirely to Neil. Now, there's an argument that Riko becomes the trio's issue, and in some ways that's true, but thinking about the last match, the climax where it all comes to ahead, Riko and Kevin are doing totally their own things, Kevin has already broken free of Riko via changing his tattoo. In many ways, this should be Andrew's real moment. As a sports drama, this is where Andrew gets control of the defence line and takes Riko down striker vs goalie, especially after the set up of the first match in TRK. But, instead he gets Neil in and Neil leashes Riko.

And now, I do sorta get this, it's not like I'm saying this is awful why did Nora do this, it's just a curiosity to me that I'm trying to think about and figure out my real thoughts and feelings on. Because by shifting Nathan to an overarching background "ooooh but my dad" threat, Riko is Neil's actual antagonist, and while this can work as a "he's our antagonist" and "Riko created his own weakness by training Neil", it doesn't so much for me because it's still Neil who takes him down. It's Neil who's there when he's shot. It's all Neil. (And loosely, I think this is related to how some parts of fandom, especially in fics, especially raven!Neil fics, make Neil either uwu so soft and sad and useless, or op as fuck to the point where he's the best boy at everything ever where even Riko and Kevin aren't, or both, but that's a different ramble.)

And here's the thing, Kevin and Neil should be up the other end of the court. Kevin is proving himself amazing, as he should, and Neil should be with him. This should be the moment Andrew and Riko finally face off, and that Kevin and Neil finally see Andrew do what Andrew does and trust him entirely to just shut Riko out (or yk, enough to win the match) because he's been practicing serious with Kevin (amazing striker and Raven) and Neil (fucking fast) and have him protect them from Riko, as he promise, by protecting that goal while they're busy. Neil has faced Nathan and come out on top, Kevin has faced his mental block and declared himself queen and is ruling the court. Riko is now nothing to them, they should focus on their goal ahead. It's Andrew's turn to face down Riko. But it's Neil. Now, there's an argument this is Andrew finally accepting help and teamwork, and that the narrative constantly undermining Andrew's ability to protect his people is actually about him letting go and trusting them, that his protection is more mental stability for them to stand up for themselves, and Andrew does protect Neil from Riko in the end, and I do get all that. But it's not a great example of team vs person, especially from a sports drama perspective, because exy isn't quite built for team vs person more line vs person and even then the combo plays aren't really there, and if you want to sport drama to be the central narrative, then maybe let them prove themselves in the sport?

I told you I have complicated feelings about this.

Which brings us to Nathan. While Riko is the sports drama villain who has fascinating depth and layers if you want to look for them, Nathan is a puddle of a character, only mildly deeper than Drake and only because he has more screen time (do not make me talk about Drake and Nathan as villains as how this fandom seems to criminally underthink them in favour of mwhahaha evilz, because evil for evil sake is not nearly as scary, do not because I will start talking about BSD!Mori and why he's terrifying) although with some interesting quirks to his personality one could dig into and draw parallels with if one wanted him to be more than scary evil torture guy. But the problem with Nathan is that he's such a big, looming terrifying presence, set up as Neil's antagonist but also not. Nathan is so big and terrifying, but he and his people aren't in Neil's life until they're one scene. He's a ticking clock until death. But the problem is, how does Neil deal with him? See, even putting the whole "isn't Nathan the bigger threat so why isn't he the climax" thing aside, Neil doesn't really defeat Nathan. Nathan is too big, too scary, too much, and AFTG too dark on the mafia side. So Nathan is defeated by a guy who's been mentioned a handful of times, turns up just time then, then disappears again until the finale where he mostly just stands there. And people can argue "it's a plot twist" or "it's realistic" but this is a narrative, not real life. Things mean things. And Nathan was set up as just too much and too strong, and too looming. Neil couldn't stop him. Neil didn't let anyone help him (something, I've talked about being and we see in TSC, Neil thinks Neil is always right and his way is best and doesn't tend to consider other options, again, not "omg so wrong" but Neil is a flawed character, here's how I perceive one of his flaws), and he didn't even tell anyone, so of course he had to be saved without warning by a guy we've never even met before.

And, like I said, I'm not saying "oh book bad" or "this better", just that I have a lot of mixed feelings about this, and that just because I adore the books as they are doesn't mean I can't also think about things that I might change (that's what fanfic's kinda for? you know, let Seth live, let Janie be a character, all those little things you might like to see but don't detract from your love of the books).

[pomegranate-pen]

Hi iv really enjoyed your lackadaisy writing and was wondering if you’d be willing to write dating headcanons for Mordecai Heller?

He’s one of my favorites atm

A/n: hey everyone!! hope you're all having a good day!!! so a lot fo you requested mordecai dating headcanons, so here it is!! this will probably be the last headcanons I'll do, and I'll now stick to writing scenarios while also my main focus being continuing my fanfics. also going to start making up the plot for the potential rocky fic. though that all may come out in summer, since I'm slowly but surely exam seasons. anyways- hope you all enjoy this!!

Mordecai Heller x gn! reader general

-Mordecai is definitely cold toward you the very first time you meet. He will not speak to you about himself or his interests, he will keep the conversations short and straight to the point and he will not care about a single thing you do, only he will be annoyed when you do a task wrong.

-If you’re a regular of sorts, or someone who will become his partner or co-worker, then you’ll learn a few more bits and information about him and if stayed long enough, you will get a few more lines other than orders about what he feels about a certain subject matter or a few other workers around here (mostly complaints about the Savoy siblings, given how much he has to spend time with them on the daily). even then, he merely considers you an acquaintance. And it will take many years and much more meetings for him to see you as a friend. and when it does happen, it is subtle, but the conversations are more apparent, and your opinion on different matters is valued much more.

-Being his lover, however, will take much longer, and needs a much more deal of spending time and getting to know him. Which can be hard given how closed off he is about his life and past. Despite that, it’s not an impossible task. Rather, it’s made extremely difficult due to Mordecai’s own lack of interest in such things, his trust issues, and a bundled amount of feelings of unworthiness towards such a thing as love. He believes he doesn’t need it nor does he deserve it, and he doesn’t mind either of those.

-However, though his feelings are completely uninterested in such matters, that doesn’t mean he won’t fall for someone, which in this case, becomes you after half a decade or so of being friends with him. 

-the first to realize their feelings is most likely you. since Mordecai will first assume that his emotions towards you are just ones out of the care and respect he has for you as a friend. If you realize them, you must keep quiet about them for the most part, since Mordecai won’t really understand why there would be such a feeling harboring between you two, and he must process his own feelings himself before accepting yours. When he does realize them, oh boy, it’s rough. He feels guilty for loving you, because he doesn’t trust himself with any intimate relationship. Given how his friendship went with Viktor, he was already extremely hesitant about the idea of another friend, now, a lover and a partner, someone that he needs to trust and share a part of his life with, and they must do with him, is frightening and confusing to say the least. As said before, he doesn’t believe he’s worthy of such things. And now that he wants it from you, he feels like a villain of sorts. Taking something that doesn’t belong to him in the first place.

-It will take quite a few months for him to accept these feelings of his, almost half a year even. You seriously need to be very patient with him, something that he will appreciate the world of when you do. his confession is short, and straight to the point. Though, a few ticks of stress and anxiousness can be seen in him. For example, his ears are twitching here and then, his tail is flicking up and down in his seat and he cannot for the life of him seem to stare at you in the eye for more than three seconds. His words are quick, and his tone is a bit clumsy for a guy like him. at the end of it, the flicks of his tail are quicker in speed, and now, he’s looking straight at you with a hesitant look, as if he’s regretting the confession already a second after it’s done.

-He’s calmed down and surprised when you do accept his confession, and he’d not know what to do at that point. he’d nod his head, clear his throat, and thank you. “very well then,” his ears twitched a bit. “ I suppose we’d have to…plan a date now?” 

-It takes him some time, but with some help from yours, he finds, in his opinion, the true meaning of dating someone. It is not about dates and being over the top like he presumed, yet it is a way of spending time and enjoying each other’s presence, and being loyal to one another for more than anyone else. 

-So as you can guess, dates are quite rare. He never sees the point in it, though if you want such an activity to happen every once in a while, perhaps with a bit of pleading and coaxing you’ll get him to begrudgingly get time out of his day to do such things with you. yet, even though he seems annoyed by the entire occasion at first, you find him calm and even smiling at some point the more time you spend with him on the said dates.

His love language is spending time with one another. Though at the start of the relationship, miscommunication will be common, since Mordecai isn't one to speak about his feelings, if you try your best to tackle it healthily, your relationship with him will be all about communication and it will be the very reason why it’s so strong at the end of it all. It also makes him see communication as the most important part of the relationship, so he’s completely honest, brutally so at times. 

--The love language he’d like to receive most is the same, though he does get a bit flustered anytime you use words of affirmation and compliment him, then quickly denies your compliments or thanks you for them. 

-Not at all a PDA person, nor is he a physically affectionate guy in private either. He doesn’t like physical contact, either finding it too stuffy or too warm for his liking and just not being in much of a mood for it most times. Though, if in a situation you truly seem like you need a warm embrace or a hand to hold, he wouldn’t mind giving that to you, though he’ll be a bit flustered and quiet the entire time while doing so. He wouldn’t ever say this out loud, but his favorite act of affection from you is when you kiss or peck his cheek. It's surprising to him and it makes him melt a bit, being treated with such softness is quite rare in his life, so he doesn’t know what to do when you peck him, but his heart is beating so fast he can’t focus. He could only look at you in shock and touch the cheek you have kissed in instinct. Give him a forehead kiss and you’ll have an extremely quiet Mordecai awaiting you. he’s processing every second of that quick kiss and he’s speechless by how much it moved him.

 -Word about your relationship will never spread out, since Mordecai is extremely private about such things. No one realizes you two are dating unless one of you says so. The only ones who do notice by connecting the dots themselves are the Savoy siblings and Viktor. 

-Whether you like it or not, information about Mordecai’s family will mostly never be revealed. You’ll most likely just know that he has two sisters, but that is all he will ever tell you. and in fairness, he never tries to force you to speak about yours either, so it’s a mutual agreement at times to just avoid the topic unless it is deemed necessary by a dangerous circumstance to be said. 

-He doesn’t have many hobbies, but if you still try to enjoy a few things he does such as reading the same book he has on his shelves, you’ll be met with a cautiously excited and info-dumping Mordecai who starts debates and discussions with you about which part of the books you enjoyed and detested.

-He’ll try to indulge a bit in a few hobbies you have as well, but he’ll probably not get much invested in them. Though, he still sees it as a worthy journey, since in the end you were smiling and excited when explaining things to him.  

-Mordecai feels much more comfortable ranting to you than anyone else. So most times when he comes back from work for the day and has a weekend to look forward to, he spends that time drinking tea with you while speaking about anything and nothing that is on his mind. Treat this like it was diamonds in a mine full of charcoal. because not everyone has the luck to meet this side of Mordecai Heller. He’s more expressive when he’s with you, more open with his emotions, which means the level of trust he has with you is most than anyone else’s.

He’ll listen to all your rants and complaints as well, and if needed, he will give honest advice for your problems. Don’t expect any comfort, though. Because he isn't the best one for such things and he makes that clear all the time before you start your rant. 

-Wherever you live, whether it's in a separate apartment from his or if you’ve moved in with him, it will be extremely clean. Whether it’s because of his actions or yours, a completely clean and tidied-up house becomes the absolute norm in your life. If you were one who never really cared about those things, well, you will have to at some point for his sake, since he’s always extremely uncomfortable in messy areas.

 -Mordecai Heller loves you, but he won’t ever verbally say it. yet, you’ll always know that, because his actions speak much louder than words ever can, and you understand every word he's saying when he’s making tea for you or asking about your day, speaking to you on the daily or just sitting next to you. you know he loves you, and you know he loves you back. and perhaps, that is why this relationship worked in the first place. It will have its hardships, yes, but like any other relationship, it doesn’t mean it won’t have its good moments either. 

[silawastaken]

Analysis of the poem Chuuya wrote to Dazai in Chapter 22 of my fic 'the (not so) perfect pair'!!!

Most of this poem(as you may have read in the an) was inspired by my own gf- but here is my little analysis of where various inpiration came from, and what it links back too because I wanted to make this and was told it may be appreciated :D

Sick, angry and jealous.

That's how I feel.

Frequently Chuuya mistakes his positive feelings towards Dazai as anger or annoyance, he kept thinking he was sick instead of embarrassed or flustered

Hot and bothered like you're under my skin, teasing and taunting like nothing has happened.

Like nothing had changed.

He thinks that he can't have been the only one who noticed the slight shift in their dynamic, the more frequent lingering looks, the few times even before Dazai's birthday that they almost kissed, and is infuriated at the lack of recognition in the shift, the way Dazai continues to poke fun at him the same joking way as before.

You have upended my world, changed it and claimed it as your own, and worst?

I can't complain.

I'm sick and nauseous and the reason why is you, but it's adrenaline at the same time, you're like a drug I can't get enough of, killing me while I admire the colour it changes my vision to see.

Chuuya mentioned earlier in the fic, after they fell out that he and Dazai were 'too codependent for their own good', which is what this line is a partial reference too. Dazai has always been around, Dazai has always been a large part of his life, and he's realised how much, and how upset it's making him, and he just doesn't care, because it's Dazai. Regardless of how it hurts, he'd rather hurt than not have Dazai.

To call you a muse would be an understatement, to call you pretty would be demeaning, to say I love you could never encompass the extent to which I care for you.

I want to be with you, forever.

Dazai and Chuuya are both artists. While Chuuya is a poet, and Dazai is a painter, they're each others muses. They have always been able to find the beauty in each other, always cared for each other in a way others didn't understand. So to call him pretty, or say he loves him, wouldn't be enough to accurately portray how he feels.

Forever isn't enough. I could know you for my life and five more and I'd never have enough, there has been a part of me that has known you since before I could know anything else.

This line is a reference to beast T-T Through the entire thing, I've added constant references to canon, in Chuuya's fear of heights because he can't fly, to Dazai's determination he'd be an anti hero. Dazai even tells Chuuya a story which is literally just the main bsd timeline. They've both said, multiple times, that they'd be together in every universe. Because they are, and they know it. They have known each other in every universe, for this life and five more, and they still gravitate towards each other like magnets. Opposites, and stuck together.

If the world doesn't want us, and heaven won't house us, I will keep us here. The sky will rain fire and the ground will grow molten, and we will be here, safe and warm, and alive, this room a haven, safe from the horrors.

Hozier possessed me for a second. No, but there has always been the idea that gay people won't go to heaven. So, 'if the world doesn't want us(general hatred of people) and heaven won't house us(religious stigmatism towards their relationship, or a metaphor for not being allowed a safe and happy place) i will keep us here(Chuuya's bedroom, together, safe)'

The next lines are intended to make a point of the fact they feel safe together. Anything could happen, the world could literally fall apart, and they could sit together in Chuuya's room as it ends and feel at peace. It's supposed to lead on from the previous lines as well, signifying that even if nobody wants them, even if they don't have a place together, Chuuya would make one. He would force the fates into alignment to create a space he and dazai could be together in.

We could float between constellations and carve our names into the stars, we could mold fate to our own design, I could force us together, damn all that tries to block our way.

If nothing will have us, I will still have you.

Again, the same as the previous verse, it's about forcing a place for themselves. 'Even if nothing else works out, as long as you're by my side, it'll be okay' kind of idea. The mention of constellations and stars is a reference to the moment in the overhead tank, the glow in the dark stars on the walls, and the mention of the planetarium.

We can be together, as one, over and over, again and again, universe after universe, you and I, Dazai and Chuuya, the moon and the stars, the planets and the asteroids.

Another beast reference, and a mention of those relationship dynamics, Dazai the moon and Chuuya the stars.

Religion is what I find in you, someone worth being devoted to, I find you in the perfect things, the sun, the rain, music, and art, and nature,

every thing worth living for I can trace back to you, a memory, a daydream, a wish, another sickening urge to keep you here, to preach my love and teach you how to pick out what I see.

More hozier possession, religious metaphors for love are my holy grail, and I love the idea of finding religion in simple or pretty things, and the idea is if you find religion in the pretty things, and to Chuuya, Dazai is the prettiest, he would find it in Dazai first, and Dazai in everything else. He could find Dazai in everything, and find something worth living for. Chuuya is stuck in a situation where he wants to love someone who believes themself incapable of receiving it, and has the idea of teaching him to live himself the way Chuuya loves him, and teach him to 'pick out what i see'.

In my favourite dreams you are there, in our kitchen with the sun coming through the windows, in our garden teaching our kid to pick out plants, every time we are together, we are one.

For a few chapters, it's been a theme for Dazai and Chuuya to both realise how badly they just want to live, together, peacefully. A house and a cat and a kid, an opportunity to be people, together, and happy. These domestic dreams are Chuuya's favourite, and he can't have one that doesn't include Dazai. He can't imagine a life without him.

If I have to settle as a friend, if I have to watch from afar, I will. But I love you.

Since we were kids hiding behind trees, to the day I stop breathing.

I love you.

Forever.

Again, forever. Another reference to that fact that in every universe they meet. They're always together. They're soulmates in the truest sense. And Chuuya loves Dazai so much, that if the only way they can be together in this world, is if they're only friends, he'll happily oblige. He just wants to be able to watch him be happy.

'Since we were kids hiding behind trees' is a reference to the new years eve flashback, the moment they kissed as kids, and Dazai realised he loved Chuuya.

This poem was so fun to write, and I was actually going feral over it, so I hope you appreciate the more in depth explanation, and some of the references. Hozier and mitski just do something man- don't write poetry listening to pink in the night you'll end up with this. ANYWAY thank you for reading :3

[alcorian-wizard]

Could you explain the concept of the transcendence au, I don’t understand it very well and could really use the help. Please

Hello!! I'm not the best at explaining things so first I reccomend looking at these following posts that neatly go through main points of the au!!

This Transcendence AU primer, which gives an overiew of the au and main points (alongside some good fic recs!!) (a lot of what i'm going to write underneath is based off this post!!!)

This one, that goes into an in depth summary of main events within the au

BUUTTT basically, to my understanding, the transcendence AU is a gravity falls AU that diverges some point after the sock opera episode where bill tries to end the world. The twins stop him, leaving him nearly dead. In an attempt to save himself, Bill tries to possess Dipper without a deal. Dipper stops bill in his attempts, killing him- but in doing so, all of bill's demon powers and magic infuse with Dipper, turning him into a demon.

(ALSO!! As a side effect of killing bill, all the supernatural of Gravity Falls spread across the entire globe, causing the event which is dubbed The Transcendence!!)

Following this, dipper finds that he can't be seen by anyone but Mabel (which leads to a lot of angst in the following years) who slowly but surely helps him through it all. as he grows up, he slowly develops more and more of his powers, getting a summoning circle of his own and making deals around the globe.

Being a demon, however, he ends up outliving his family. He keeps track of their souls, continuing his life as a demon whilst also looking out for their reincarnations (he often tries to bond with mabel's reincarnation, but often finds complications in doing so, considering the fact that having the world's most powerful demon show up in your bedroom isn't what you'd expect for a typical thursday afternoon)

TLDR: Bill tried to possess Dipper and failed. This killed Bill and turned Dipper into a demon.

(a demon that we know and love, called Alcor the Dreambender, based off the name of one of the twin stars found within the Ursa Major constellation (aka the Big Dipper))

Chaos ensues.

I 10/10 reccomend you to read the above posts since their explanations go into the smaller details of the AU. But you can find the main TAU blog here (or at @transcendence-au) where you can find a lot of art, fics, world building, head canons, and more! They have a pinned post there that links to a bunch of useful AU information (including the posts i had above!!)

But yeah! I absolutely love this AU with all my heart. the amount of lore and extensive world building that goes into it makes it feel like it's own vast universe, but because of how open-ended the foundations of the AU is, you can find many different renditions and takes of the various aspects of this AU. it's all just *chef's kiss* and I love to run away with the different components of this universe and just listen to everyone's different ideas of how things go (Alcor himself also lives for a veerry long time, so that gives a lot of writing potential or different stories during his time alive)

(if you're confused abt why bill is in my more recent posts with alcor, it's a tiny lil au of an au that i made where bill comes back when dipper's like, a few millenia old and at this point, everyone dipper knows and loves has been dead for a looong time and he's just lonely so when he sees bill come back he's just like fuck it, we immortal besties ig and they vibe (for the lack of a better term))

[quaranmine]

I know I already commented this on AO3 but I literally cant stop thinking about this fic and I so want to talk someone's ears off irl. Cuz holy fuck. I just absolutely the characterization in the story. The voice and expression of Grian is just so palpable and well-written. You sympathize for the guy even as he digs himself deeper into the abyss. Like, I know from the beginning, from playing Firewatch, that there is no conspiracy, just circumstances. But you understand where Grian is coming from, you hope that he is in some ways right, that Mumbo is still out there (doesnt help that Im a mumbo main lol). At some point, part of you just believe the conspiracy along with him even as everyone else, including the back of your own mind, tells you otherwise. And the other part wants to grab Grian from the other side of the screen and shake him til he realizes. That fucking dread of in some way knowing the ending just created that underlying layer of tension when reading. And, as someone else has pointed out, Grian's agency in his search for Mumbo being like denied somewhat fits in so well and just hits home that, nothing is really in his control, that its all just an accident. Its that gut-renching punch and realization that is stuck in my head after reading chapter 11. And im glad that chapter 12 presents some closure and breathing room. Its not the ending, but its an ending and a start. The melancholy of the last chapter, of Grian's acceptance and him finally meeting Scar. All of it is just, GOD. Anyways, excuse my ramblings, I love this fic and its genuinely one of the best Ive read. You did an amazing job.

THANK YOU!!!! I love this review of my work so much, as well as your AO3 review :)

I like that you bring out that having played Firewatch clued you in on the lack of conspiracy. I know the game's ending is controversial, but I actually like it a lot. I love the way the game makes you paranoid and how the remoteness of the setting reinforces that. I love how it's just a story about broken people running from their problems. Whenever I think about the game, I think about this Medium article I read (massive game spoilers.)

And so with this story, I didn't want to do the same thing as the game's plot, but I wanted to harness some of the same themes and explore them in my own way. I think the fic works well alongside the game because it sort of complements it, neither requiring prior game knowledge to read nor spoiling the game--but having game knowledge makes it even better.

I worked backwards knowing I was going to have an obvious ending. It's obvious because it's the most realistic option. But there is also an interesting extra level of writer-reader meta to play with, which is that nearly everyone is primed to sympathize with and believe the pov character. Everyone is also generally primed to expect better ending, or to expect that impossible will somehow happen because it's a fiction story. So I knew that readers would start off with a similar hope to Grian. And I knew that as the story went on further and further, I could direct readers toward the real conclusion. At some point, the very length of the fic itself and number of chapters left with make readers realize they're running out of time for things to happen. At some point, the reader is going have an objective picture of events and realize how irrational some of Grian's actions are.

I'm glad it worked to create a lot of tension! I also think the way a lot of other characters interact with Grian creates tension, because most of them are sort of "scared" to be direct with him since they know it'll upset him. And the way every one of Grian's actions keep adding and adding until the potential consequences grow greater and greater continue to add to the out-of-control feeling of this story. My goal for his character was always to keep pushing him to see where it led. It was a sad story to write, but it's a fun one to analyze for me.

I'm glad you liked chapter 12. I wanted it to try and resolve some of the things that needed to be said still, and provide a little bit of rest from the last three major action-filled chapters. The story is really 11 chapters of getting Grian to the first step in healing, and chapter 12 is that first step. It isn't the last one. Just the first.

Also my condolences for being a Mumbo main, I really need to get my blorbo rights revoked. I've been privately joking for the past year about fridging the poor man 😭mumbo ily i promise

[hollow-lime-green]

I think you summed it up pretty well for jjk, that Gege had a lot of great ideas with poor execution because most plot points/character beats weren't well thought out. But for me, the biggest problem was the lack and/or complete disregard of character development, interaction, and depth (there's also little to no emotional beats and emotional depth, too, but that's a separate argument). I can't believe the manga has ended with a lot of characters - MAIN characters - being one note, one dimensional, concluding their character arcs exactly how they began, or not concluding their character arcs at all. I would even go one step further and say that jjk has a whole lot of plot devices that happen to have names (like Megumi and Nobara), meanwhile, there are about 5 real characters. All this tells me is that somewhere along the way, Gege stopped caring about his characters, and that's a cardinal sin for any author to make. Because if the author doesn't care about their own characters, why should the readers? And they don't care about the characters, why should they care about the story? And that's where I find myself (actually, I've felt like this for over a year now). Liking or hating the ending of jjk or the series in general are way too strong of emotions to attribute to how I feel. I'm simply indifferent, which I believe to be worse than outright hating it. I've lost the love I had for this series, but hating it takes too much energy and is honestly a waste of my time.

Still, like anything else, this is nothing fanfic can't fix. So, there's that, I guess…

All in all, I hope that the ending doesn't deter you or any other fanfic writers who also didn't like the ending from finishing their ongoing fanfics. Despite me not really caring about jjk anymore, I'm still very much invested in your stsg fic and can't wait for the next chapter! 😊

yeah, well said.

to be honest, i'm not super affected by the ending. i watched jjk s1 because it was popular and felt very nothing about it. i never bonded with the younger cast, and that is true even now. i started reading around maybe july of last year? and still, i felt a whole lot of nothing until 236. the first time around, gojo's past arc actually did nothing for me. it wasn't until 236 that I was like "wait is there something here?" i didn't have a lot of love to begin with, so i didn't have a lot to lose.

then i went back and reread, read fanfic, and began to get invested in stsg. and then, because I'm a redditor, I began to read some of the theorycrafting stuff and got invested in that too. jjk is kind of like star wars for me. I like the world, but I am somewhat uninterested in the Main Story that people have chosen to tell in it. (which is why games like KOTOR and extended universe stuff are so good and cool to me)

FIYM is certainly safe from the ending, because I'm simply doing something different. clearly i have never cared about what gege thinks his mechanics/universe rules are, because I am simply rewriting them all. if I do lose steam on it, it'll be because of real life/energy or the very scary and realistic possibility that the fandom starts to decay with time and I can't finish it while I still have active cheerleaders. i hope that doesn't happen, but I've experienced it before.

ending thoughts -

I actually do like the power of friendship ending and I kind of was hoping that we would get something like this, IF it was paced well, which it wasn't. and it needed more 'break the cycle' energy. and it needed a lot of people to die. (if i'm writing jjk, 100% yuta is doomed. he is yuki 2.0.). with the pacing we got, I was hoping for a brutal twist. when gege announced 5 chapters left, my brother asked me if I thought it could end well in that time, and i think i said something along the lines of "no, definitely no, 0% chance, absolutely not". and yet I was still somehow surprised.

there's so much setup on the themes of love, sacrifice, and enlightenment (letting go of attachment), and gege fumbled hard on the pacing to convey any coherent message about any of it. there are so many endings that would have worked and what we got was not one of them, but again I think largely due to the pacing and priority.

i think that gege does care about his characters, but he doesn't know what to do with them, and specifically when to kill them.

I think nobara is great and I like how she goes out as a cost of her ambition/bravery. leave it there, greg.

I think yuta is great and i like how he goes out trying to turn himself into a monster to save his friends. kill him, greg.

I think it is understandable to lose hope after you lose and kind of kill your sister and everything is hopeless and you take 200 years of brain damage. tragedy is GOOD, greg.

higuruma did enough, kusakabe did enough, let them sacrifice like choso! fights have a cost, greg, this goes with your theme of adult vs child responsibilities, GREG.

Gege actually had a lot of good character arc concepts imo, but because he is allergic to strong, definitive writing choices, he cheapened and undid some of those arcs, and that is disappointing. but I think when you look at gojo, geto, yuta, and (maybe hot take) mai, there's a great character writer hiding in there. he's just being held hostage by the worst storyboarding/planning you've ever seen in your life.

also yuuji shouldn't have been the mc, he is by far the least interesting main cast character of jjk, and I think a large part of why the last 20ish chapters were so... like that, is that gege wrote himself into a massive corner trying to make yuuji feel like an appropriate choice/power match for the final battle (and he still failed)

which, by the way, is crazy, because you could still do the same ending thematically without trying to powerlevel yuji with replacement training and all that bs. like, this is fantasy greg. if you were going to give yuuji a domain expansion anyway then his domain expansion can just be winning the battle through friendship lol

[sky-is-the-limit]

I saw that someone broke the bucktommy situation down in spn terms and I want to expand on that a bit further so that hopefully you can understand how deeply frustrating this whole situation is for buddie shippers.

So not just did a third of the destiel girls jump ship, they immediately started actively hating and destiel and calling anyone who is still a destiel girlie delusional and denying any possibility that castiel is anything other than straight, and like a third of your favorite destiel blogs and fic writers just completely abanonded destiel and completely rebranded for this new ship and started writing only for them. like some of the most passionate destiel shippers immediately left simply because they got dean being bisexual and that's enough for them and they never actually cared about destiel or how queer coded castiel is, they just wanted to see dean kiss a man and as long as dean stays with this new man they are 100% certain to have that. so they cling to this nothing ship with this bland ass character and come at destiel shippers for actually wanting a ship with substance and history between characters who actually have chemistry. and now that the destiel shippers are pointing out hints that point towards castiel being gay and destiel being endgame the new shippers are completely denying any possibility of it and are proving that they never gave a shit about castiel as a character or his struggle as a clearly gay man. they just wanted dean to be bi and kiss a man.

oh and also a bunch of new people joined the fandom after bi dean became canon and they simply don't watch any of the previous seasons because they don't actually care about the show, and then they start speaking about dean and cas as characters as if they know them at all when they have clearly never seen most of the show.

like i cannot express enough how nothing of a ship bucktommy is. almost everything about them is either made up by tommy's actor in paid cameos, or just fanon. they had very few scenes this season, only had two very uninteresting kisses, their chemistry is just really lacking and the vibe is kind of off. and i'm not saying that you can't like a ship that is mostly fanon, i know people base ships off less than this and i genuinely don't care, but it's weird to then completely discount a ship that has been brewing for 6 seasons and pretend that the people who have been following that ship for years are just crazy.

The more yall explain it in spn terms, the more I get sucked into it and I'm not complaining.

Yeah, I understand the frustration because I know I wouldn't even be able to handle Dean, towards the end of spn, dating anyone other than Cas, especially after all they've been through.

But making people feel crazy for it, especially when one is canonically bi, is insane.

What I said on that as an outsider, is that it'd be cool for once to watch the writers/producers take the most loved/popular ship between two queer*coded characters and make it canon.

The dynamics are also different when it comes to a new character being introduced as a love interest and a main character that a large part of the fandom ships with the other main character.

Now I don't know much about Bucktommy as a ship as I've only watched their kiss scene but I understand the frustration of Buddie stans.

I'd lose my fucking marbles if Dean came out towards the end, only to end up with a newly introduced character and not Cas 😭 and as a Cas girl having to watch people shit on him and Destiel just because Dean came out, nah. People would riot outside the CW offices.

Anyway, I'll keep watching the random s6 episodes they show on tv and hopefully that will make me watch the entire thing!!

Yall are making me want to read Buddie fics, stop it before I open a new ao3 tab

[lemonisntreal]

heyo! Just found your blog and I was scrolling through your stuff and noticed your AU tone deaf. And I haven't found anything about what it is or what your idea is behind it. So I wanted to ask if you could give me an introduction to your AU!

Oh! And I absolutely love your artstyle and how you draw Buster! Anyway, hope you drink enough water and have a good day/night! ;)

Dear god this has been in my drafts for a while-

Hiya! Sorry for that lack of info lol, I'd been inactive for a long time, and the time that I actually WAS posting consistently was back when things were still being sorta fleshed out. But I've got a pretty good idea of how every single part moves at this point, so sure :D I'll give a not-so-brief summary lol [under a cut because I couldn't not dump multiple paragraphs teehee ~_~]

--------------

Tone Deaf is like a dystopian version of Sing, if I were to put it super duper simply. One where Buster's issues get more emotional focus, and we get actual bonds with the cast because the movie forgot to do that.

Buster is, also, a lot more unhinged, fair warning. This fic's gonna contain violence and tackle some darker subjects [adjacent to grief and denial more specifically] so if it feels like I jumped a lot of sharks, it's because I 100% did.

It kinda started with me noticing how, in the actual movies btw, smaller characters like Buster and Mike had more difficulty getting around places. This led me to ask myself about how species differences could lead to struggles for certain animals since the city just isn't built for everyone [this is NOT Zootopia]. Ash's quills, and Meena's towering size were things I noticed too that would be massive problems, realistically. So after a lot of pondering, now we're here.

The world of Tone Deaf in present day is in a post-war period that's lasted about 50 years now [Crawly is actually a veteran from this war- which was more like complete and total anarchy if I'm being real, since there weren't really any sides until near the end...]

Long story short, the wealthy capitalized off of the war and taking people prisoner- so they purposefully kept it going. A resistance ended up forming to stand against this [Miss Crawly being one of the generals, with that classic missing eye] and after their army stormed the unsuspecting stronghold, the war finally began to conclude. It still took around a year after that to release all of the prisoners of war, and by the end of it all, the damage that had been done to some races was permanent. Even extinction-level in some cases- some animals just straight up don't exist anymore because of it.

Back to Calatonia. Laws that are in place to protect animals from tearing eachother apart are still relatively new, and the criminal underbelly of Calatonia is kinda out of control. Animals get kidnapped/poached, smaller animals are at a huge disadvantage and have basically no power [politically or otherwise], endangered species are a very real thing, poverty is a huge issue for most of the population- and in the middle of all this is Buster Moon.

He's gonna be the main perspective. And the story will also serve as a slight character study on him, mixed with my own grittier and batshit insane changes/headcanons/alternate universe ideas on his backstory. He's a ray of sunshine with a lot of bottled-up feelings that will kinda really take control of the story.

Buster has been arrested multiple times. He's been put in unsuccessful therapy. He's still grieving his dad. He's committing crime and compulsively lying about those illegal actions too. He has emotional difficulties that he hasn't dared try touching on in years, and he has issues with letting go- which, is kinda how all of his new problems come to be.

The threat of his theater being repossessed if his show isn't a success gets a LOT more emphasis too.

But on top of that is the added threat of Buster getting sent out of the city if he can't get his business up and running. Remember how I mentioned endangered animals?? Well Koalas are one of them. One of the big ones, actually. He's the only Koala in a city of almost five hundred thousand, and it's been that way for almost half a decade now. It's been causing issues for the people in charge for half a decade now. Koalas have government-protected settlements far away from here due to their numbers being so few, so if Buster loses the theater? That's the next step for him.

But, to help this poor dude through all the stress of life is the found-family he develops with the cast he hired. He helps them for a lot of the first act, and then they give back his kindness in the second. They connect through their similar experiences, as well as their shared passion for music and performance. And by the end, maybe Buster's okay. Or maybe he's had a complete downward spiral [not gonna speak of act three 🥰]

Other characters have also had a shift in their dynamics. Things in the story have changed. Like for instance- Gunter already knew Buster and was a close friend of him and Eddie before the show, Judith is now the mayor and a main character, Pete has been put in place of the banker in charge of Buster's accounts, Buster unfortunately gets involved in politics, Mike actually gets to bond with the cast- actually the cast gets to bond with the cast point blank period [idc what you say, this just straight up doesn't happen in the canon movies], and to top it all of is a generous helping of angst with a few acts of violence sprinkled in 🤭

The actual Act I summary is this right now:

Buster had been in tight situations before-- suffocating situations, even. He’d been in every kind of trouble imaginable, he thought. With family, friends, local businesses, the law. But he'd always wormed his way out, either through loopholes or by charm. Or usually just by stacking another lie on top of his already crumbling facade. But this time it's gonna take more than a cover-up to fix this. ‏‏‎ Buster’s dishonesty takes him too far once again, a simple typo causing him to unintentionally land himself in a wager that could cost his very life. He has two months to fix this- to ACTUALLY fix this. And the worst part is that he hadn't even meant to lie this time. ‏‏‎ The First Act of Tone Deaf.

TLDR; Buster learns to love again after experiencing the horrors of animalkind firsthand and being healed by theater kids LMFAO