#I feel horrible for not being around very much

[freak-accident419]

‘not your fault’

Bob Reynolds x reader

Summary: After a mission goes horribly wrong, you take a hot shower to unwind. With Bob being your worried boyfriend, he keeps you company.

Word Count: 1.9k

Content: 18+ SMUT, MDNI, gender neutral reader (of course), no pronouns used for reader, brief use of Y/n, reader is a Thunderbolt, shower sex, fluff, penetration (no specified genitals for reader), creampie, Bob may or may not be ooc, a certain stupid reference at the end, Yelena makes an appearance

SPOILERS FOR THUNDERBOLTS* MOVIE UNDER THE CUT!!!

Taglist: @g0ry0re0 @deceitfuldevil Happy reading! <3 Reblogs and likes are much appreciated!

-

You fucked up big time.

One of your missions as a New Avenger went terribly wrong, and it was all your fault. You led your team to the wrong place, made the wrong calculations, and overall was the epitome of a screw up. Most days, you were proficient and prepared, smart and level-headed, so it disheartened you when you let your teammates down. And while you all ended up succeeding by the end and completed the mission, sensing your colleagues' frustration towards you didn't feel so great.

When you all went back to the Watchtower, you went straight to your room without a word, ignoring Bob in the process. You knew that wasn't a good move on your part, but you felt way too ashamed to face your lover.

Your usual remedy was to take a hot shower. You were embarrassed and humiliated by your performance today, so enveloping yourself in flaming, steamy water seemed like the best distraction.

So there you were, standing in the large stall of your own bathroom as the hot water cascaded onto your sensitive skin. Your body had been covered in some debris as a result of the mission, now being washed off in the shower. You wouldn't have removed all of the grime, however, considering that you hadn't even picked up the soaps or even anything at all yet. All this time you just stood there, trying to distract your mortification with the heat surrounding you.

Your back was turned, looking at the ground that the water would land on, not turning your head as you hear the bathroom door creak open. You already knew who it was, so there was no use in questioning it.

The sound of shifting clothes was drowned out by the spraying of the shower. Then, it wasn't too long before the glass door slid open, closing immediately once the figure behind you stepped in.

"Ow—shit—that's hot," Bob flinched clumsily, turning the handle ever so slightly to turn down the heat. In other circumstances, in which you weren’t so depressed, you probably would’ve laughed at his silly response.

You felt your boyfriend's warm chest press against your back as his arms wrapped around your front, hands resting on your stomach. His head was relaxed against your shoulder, holding you close to comfort you. Your wet, naked bodies were practically merged together, in light of the very close proximity. Your thoughts had been drastically spiraling ever since the mission, but at least this felt nice.

For a while, it was quite silent aside from the rushing water, Bob offering his sole presence to ground you. Then, he finally spoke up afterwards, his tone in a compassionate manner.

"It wasn't your fault..."

Great. You assumed the team already informed him about what happened, probably telling him every stupid thing you did during the mission.

"Yelena, uh... She told me what happened," he continued hesitantly, your stiff body remaining against him. "Apparently, there was a whole mislead, uh... fraudulent information, something like that. But I mean, you just did what you had to do, and that's—"

"Don't." You sighed, briefly shutting your eyes in exhaustion. You didn't want his pity, you didn't want to be rewarded for your mistakes. "I screwed up. If it weren't for my judgement, then maybe—maybe all that wouldn't have happened, and there wouldn't be so much collateral damage, and—"

"Y/n." Bob grabs your shoulders, turning your body around to face him. Your expression was wrecked, eyes fearful and guilty. It hurt him to see you like this, especially since your vulnerability is a rare occurrence. "She said it was bound to happen. It didn't happen because of you. You didn't do anything wrong. It was an ambush."

"They're pissed at me," you frown miserably, disregarding his words, "the whole team, they hate me right now."

"That can't be true," he says with a gentle, sympathetic smile, "they're mad about the—the situation and the people involved, but not you. They know how skilled and smart and great you are, so no, they couldn't hate you, definitely not for this."

Usually, you were the one who would comfort and console Bob. Whenever he was going through something, you always talked him through it. Which was why this moment felt so foreign. This time, he was the one comforting you, using his own wisdoms to reassure you. And it worked like a charm.

"You okay?" He asks after a short pause with a questioning look.

"Yeah," you huff tiredly, embracing him closely, "I'll be fine..."

Pulling away from the hug, your hands reached up to cup his face. His eyes were so gentle, looking at you with enamored adoration. His hair was already soaked, some wet bangs falling over his face that accentuated the blue in his irises. Your thumbs stroked his cheeks affectionately, captivated by his effortless beauty. He was so goddamn pretty.

You grabbed his face and crashed your wet lips against his, pouring all your love and appreciation into the kiss. Instantly, Bob followed, kissing you back slowly, firm hands resting on your bare waist.

He whimpered needily in your mouth, parting it with his wavering tongue. He was addicted to your taste, grabbing you closer to his body as things began to grow tense between the two of you. The hot shower didn't seem to make it better, as it only added to the sensuality of this moment.

Bob wanted to please you. He wanted to make you feel worthy of pleasure, he wanted to remind you of how amazing you were. Essentially, he knew how it felt to fuck up and be looked down upon. He could only assume all the emotions you were feeling after the mission, so he made it his objective to distract you from them.

Bob carefully pressed your back against the shower wall, kissing you deeply and passionately. His hands came down to your thighs, lifting you up so your legs could wrap around his hips. He pecked your lips briefly while grasping his cock in one hand, stroking his already hardened length. The sensitive head of his dick throbbed as he guided it between your thighs.

“Ahh…” You let out a soft moan as he slowly entered through your tight entrance, walls fluttering at the stretch from his thick girth.

“Mmm—You feel so good,” he praises meekly, eyes half-lidded once he was fully inside you, “so good for me.”

Your hands were still cupping his face, holding him close to you as you pant under your breath. Bob began to thrust out gently, only to piston back in, making the two of you moan in pleasure. With his fingernails digging into your plushy thighs, he rocks his hips leisurely, taking his time to hit every deep, sensitive spot you had. And after a long time of being your boyfriend, he knew your body as if he studied a manual for it.

Bob was obsessed with making love to you. If not obsessed, then he simply loved it. And right now, he needed to make you feel the gentle love he had for you.

His lips were attached to yours once again as he fucked you softly against the wall, thrusting his cock deeply inside of you. Quiet whines left his throat, as he had always been the more sensitive out of the two of you.

Your hands reached the back of his head, fingers tangling in his soppy brown strands the more he stretched you with his length. Suddenly, Bob’s hand sneaked between your bodies, bringing attention to your sensitive flesh with his touch. Breaking the kiss, your mouth gaped in awe, panting heavily at the amazing sensation.

Noticing you were getting close, he tenderly pulled out in pursuit of a new position. As a whimper escaped your lips from the new-found emptiness, he kissed them briefly as a silent apology.

Bob positioned you with your stomach facing the glass door, standing right behind you as you felt his hard cock resting against your ass. His hands ran up and down your sides in a warm, worshipful caress. Then, his palms moved to your front, feeling sensually for your chest and stomach as your own hands were pressed against the glass, bracing yourself.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers against your neck, nipping the skin, “you did so good today... you deserve so much…”

Finally, his dick pushed back inside of you, making you feel the satisfying stretch of your inner walls. Bob moved at a steady pace, still fixated on making slow, sweet love to you. He moaned as he felt your fleshy insides grip his hard length, his hands desperately feeling for your skin.

“Faster,” you murmur, already eager to reach your climax. Bob moans at your words, aroused by your voice as he then obeys you, increasing his pace. Your body was overwhelmed with pleasure, feeling your walls tighten even more around him.

The brunette groans, one hand now gripping your hip, and the other reaching around your front to touch your sensitive anatomy once again. He was already close, just desperate to make you cum with him.

“Ahh!” You cry as his cock dives deeper and faster in your hole, massaging your insides. Your knees wobbled, already weak from the pleasure. The lewd, wet sounds of skin slapping against skin that echoed in the steamy bathroom aroused you terribly.

"I’m close,” Bob whines, his forehead pressed to your back as he pounded his hips against your ass. “Y/n, I’m so close…”

“Fuck!” You moan, feeling close to the edge as well. You felt a warm sensation pool in your lower stomach as he continued thrusting his cock inside of you.

Then, with a soft cry, Bob tenses up against you, cumming deep inside as his hot, white semen would paint your sensitive walls. You came directly after him, flesh tightening around his dick as you moaned in pleasure.

He held you close, peppering kisses all over your face and back. And you would stay in that position until he thought it was time to finally lather your body with soap; not only washing off the leftover dirt from your body, but also the guilt and stress you had once carried.

Later that night, as Bob was fast asleep in his quarters, you went to the kitchen for a midnight snack. Closing the pantry after obtaining said snack, you flinch as you see Yelena standing in the room.

“Hi,” she smiles softly.

“Shit!” You huff under your breath, heart rate slowly stabilizing. “Jesus, you scared me.”

She walked closer to you with a purposeful expression, raising her eyebrows. “I just wanted to let you know that… None of us blame you for what happened,” she explains in her familiar, thick Russian accent. “I know, we were all angry and pissy, but you barely screwed up. Hell, it was an ambush, there was nothing you could do.”

Her eyebrows softened as she looked at you warmly. “We’re all in this together, Y/n. And none of us are perfect, far from it, actually, so don’t think you’re less than any of us because of what happened today. Okay?”

“Yeah,” you nod appreciatively, mirroring her smile. “Thank you, Yelena.”

Satisfied, she turns around to walk away, until she suddenly stopped in her tracks, eyeing you once again. “By the way… You and Bob might want to be a little… quieter. The Watchtower is still in construction, and, well.. walls and ceilings are pretty thin.”

As she strides away, you curse under your breath, feeling your cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

“But I’m happy for you both!” She calls out, disappearing into the darkness.

You took a worn-out bite into your Pop-Tart. Goddammit.

[munsonify]

soft mornings

pairing. bob reynolds x reader

summary. you and bob enjoying each others company in bed in the morning

content warning. just so much fluff, established relationship, bob calling r honey, r being described as pretty and beautiful, cuddling, soft kisses everywhere (sfw), i love you’s, not proofread lol

word count. 1348

———

it wasn’t often bob was able to steal you away from the rest of the team.

there always seemed to be something waiting around every corner - a meeting that was being held, a mission to be sent off to, an argument that somehow found you - and frankly, he was sick of it. bob knew it was all important, he wasn’t dense. sometimes, though, he wishes everything would relax for a moment. breathe.

late nights are where you caught each other the most. conversations were better in the moonlight, your hushed whispers passing through the quiet air, faces inches apart as you lay together. sometimes you didn’t say a word, simply embracing each other underneath the warm sheets of your bed.

your bed is exactly where bob found himself this morning, soft and filled with your scent. he was overjoyed to say these least right now. there wasn’t a single thing that required your attendance. that meant bob had you all to himself the entire day.

it was about 8:00 in the morning, the sun peaking its way over the city skyline. the deep orange threaded through the half open blinds on your window just enough to illuminate the room in lines. one of those lines rested right across your cheek. you looked beautiful like this, truly, sound asleep in bobs arms, head resting right on his broad chest like a pillow.

on any normal occasion, his heart would be pounding against your smushed cheek. having someone like you next to him was nerve-racking enough - unwaveringly kind and attentive, always so pretty to look at - but bob worried when he held you like this. he overthought his place in your life, afraid you’d realize just how messed up he is and leave. even worse, he was afraid he’d take you somewhere horrible, to a memory you’ve tried to suppress.

right now, in this very moment, none of that mattered. bobs heart was steady as can be, thumping in tandem with your own. they must’ve synced together sometime in the night, he thought, the tips of his ears heating up the moment it grazed his mind. you were peaceful in his arms, safe. you trusted him enough to sleep so deep with him, to share such intimacy. you were even excited for it. the big, dopey smile that was plastered on your face when you could finally crawl into his arms last night was engraved into his head.

bob was so entranced that he hardly noticed as you began to stir in his arms, shifting your weight around slightly as you came out of your slumber. that shift of weight included half heartedly slinging your leg over his, wedging between them comfortably. it was your sleepy attempt of getting closer to him.

“hey, honey,” bob whispered, voice deep and smooth against the top of your head. you began to smile as he places a gentle kiss to your hair. the more you woke up, the more of him you could feel. his steady breathing, his large hand cupping your jaw, the finger soothingly tracing the length of your spine.

“hi, baby”, you whispered back softly, head moving just enough to plant a kiss straight to his palm. your eyes hadn’t opened just yet, and you were in no rush to do so. not when you were this comfortable.

there was no pressure to say anything to bob, to entertain him in any sort of way. the silence was enough for him, the same it was for you. there was no rush to get up, to do anything but lay together, limbs intertwined. your gentle touch found its way to his warm skin, fingers beginning to slowly trail his side.

you eventually decided to let your eyes flutter open, burying your head into your boyfriends chest just slightly as you began readjusting to the bright like coming from outside. it wasn’t long until you slowly blinked up at bob, chin moving to plant right where your cheek had been moments ago.

your gaze met bobs immediately. he’d already been staring, admiring. it was intense. his bright blue eyes shimmered down at you, a small smile tugging at his lips. he wasn’t always this good at eye contact, which is why it made your heart rate quicken. it was deep and unwavering and filled with so much love.

“i love you so much,” you told him as soft as ever. it was bobs turn to become flustered. you caught the way his heart picked up faster than yours, and the way he nearly broke eye contact.

“i love you more,” bob mumbled out, trying desperately to fight the blush that was creeping up his neck. he still cradled your jaw with one of his hands, thumb slowly beginning to stroke against your cheekbone.

you loved having his hands on you. he was always so gentle with you. even when his grip was tight, bobs touch was soft, loving. you were convinced, despite the sentry serum running through his veins, that he didn’t have a single mean or aggressive bone in his body. he’s a kind man, and you make sure you tell him that any chance you get.

“i wish we could stay like this forever,” he spoke softly, eyes still locked with yours, hands soothingly caressing your skin. that and his voice was enough to send you back to sleep. he had his chin tucked down so that your face was only inches apart from his.

“me too,” you agreed, just as soft. “think you can settle just for today?”

bob contemplated for a few moment as if he didn’t already know his answer. “i think so, honey. just as long as you don’t have to pee.”

a giggle slipped from your lips at the man’s words, nudging his side with one of your fingers teasingly. the touch made him jump, and for a moment you thought you startled him. the laugh he huffed out calmed your nerves quickly. you pried your fingers away from his waist, slowly finding its place at bobs forehead. you wanted a better look at his pretty eyes, and the only way to get that is by moving away his hair. and maybe, just maybe, you wanted an excuse to feel the soft strands against your fingertips.

with the arm tucked beneath you, you gently shifted yourself up bobs body a little. his touch followed you, desperate to keep ahold of your body. you weren’t going far, only up enough for your face to hover over his. bobs hands still followed as if you were gonna slip away forever. he only realized what your intentions were when you broke eye contact, letting your eyes flutter shut. his shut the moment yours did, slowly guiding you towards him the rest of the way.

bobs lips met yours in a long, chaste kiss, one that left the both of you breathless. his hand found its way from your jaw to the back of your neck, fingers sprawling out to cradle your head like they were meant to be there. the hand on your back never stopped moved, soothingly caressing underneath your shirt. your fingers threaded gently within bobs hair, nails gently scraping his scalp in a way you knew he loved.

you were the first to pull away from the kiss, reluctant and pouty as you opened your eyes again. it was only moments before his fluttered open, quick to stare up into your eyes through his lashes. bobs nose nudged yours affectionately as you gazed into each others eyes, a blush prominent on his skin. even still, you made him nervous.

bob scrunched up his nose the moment you kissed the tip of it, taken aback slightly by the affection. that small kiss was followed by more, littered slowly against the warm skin of his face. no place was left out, everywhere from between his eyebrows, his chin, and his jawline were blessed with the most gentle kisses you could manage.

there wasn’t a single other place in the world bob would rather be right now.

[hkkuugu]

𐙚 what was i made for? - b.e

꩜ billie eilish x fem!reader

꩜ type - angst (i love writing sad things 😛)

꩜ warnings - angst , homophobic family , religious trauma ig??, sh (not detailed) , mentions of suicide , fluff at the end because yaaaa 😪

꩜ note - tw at the start , this is basically the same thing what happened to me soo 😋

it all suddenly happened.

you didn't want it to but what could you do? you could lie and say it isn't true , but you can't afford to lie to your loving parents.

the look of disgust and shame covered their faces , what can you do to make it better?

"how do you think your family members will react to you being on of those?" of course all they cared about was how others would perceive them , never how you feel.

what were you made for? were you made just to disappoint everyone? what's the point of living if you only bring shame to everyone around you?

"i will raise no daughter of mine to be gay , repent and pray for forgiveness" your dad's anger shining over his face. forgiveness for what? just for loving differently?

tears streaming down your face , your parents screaming profanities at you. what's the point of anything? you can never get things right. you only bring disappointment to them not success.

"pack your things and leave , i will not let no person apart of that disgusting community live under my rooftop that me and your father worked hard for" your mother finalised , you snapped out of your thoughts and you were shocked to say the least.

did they really think that less of you? was it that easy for them kick someone out that they've raised for years with love just because of who they chose to love?

you had no where to go , you've been all alone your life. taking your anger out on your skin was all you could do , atleast it made you feel something

but there was one place you could go to. billie's place. but what if she doesn't let you in , what if she kicks you out as well. she could never though , she loves you too much , she would never treat you horribly like how your parents are doing right now

you packed your things into a bag you found randomly in the back of your wardrobe , tears streaming down your face yet trying to hold in your sobs , a couple of cries and sobs escaping from your mouth , thoughts running in your mind having no space to think about what to do next

as soon as your done you grab your phone and leave immediately, not wanting to see their faces and terrified to hear what they might they say to you. you make a run for it , wanting to be in the arms of your long-time lover. she knew how your parents were , how you had to keep her a secret from them. she was okay with it , she was understanding and was maybe the only person there for you

as soon as you see the door leading to her home , you knock immediately knowing her parents and brother are home as well. you didn't care though only wanting to sleep this off and hoping its a nightmare that felt very real.

"y/n what are you doing here is everything okay?" billie's mother maggie answered concered for your sudden appearance

"is billie home?" was the only thing you could say , your voice hoarse from all of the crying you did and your energy all spent having to run to their house

"she's just upstairs at her room she's probably awake by now , do you need anything my love?"

maggie was always nice to you , she treated you as if you were her own daughter , oh how you wish your parents looked at you as if you were the best thing ever for them , all you wanted was a normal family. but were you deserving of it?

you shook your head and headed upstairs to billie's room , her red led lights illuminating from her door , and loud music blasting from her room. that was your favourite thing about her , how she could be so bold and stront yet such a softie just for you

you knocked twice and made your way in , she noticed you straight away. your dark underbags obvious underneath your eyes and how your face swelled due to how much you've been crying

"come here my love what's wrong?" she asked with her arms wide open waiting for you to fall into her , and you did , you always did , you could never say no to her warm cozy cuddles.

"it's okay sweetheart take your time you don't have to tell me straight away" her warm fingers tracing shapes and words onto your back , comforting you. her cuddles always distracted you from whatever is going on with you, she always knows what to do when you're feeling down

after a couple of minutes of you and your lover cuddling in silence , hearing a couple of sniffles from you here and there. you finally found the confidence to tell her what happened

"they kicked me out as if i was nothing to them , as if it was that easy for them to leave me , i just want to be myself without having to hide myself why cant i be normal?" after pausing for a bit you felt your tears forming again

"awh baby im sorry that you feel that way , you deserve way better than how they're treating you, you deserve the whole world" she hugged you tighter than before , signaling to you that she will never ever leave you

"how about you turn on that favourite movie of yours and i'll get some snacks for us" she offered to you, you could never say no so you nodded, a small smile appeared on your face which showed her how much that small yet big offer meant to you

you grabbed the tv remote while she went downstairs to get snacks for the both of you, you turning on a cheesy rom com was always a go-to for you, it always seemed to atleast make your day better

she came back with a large bag of takis for the both of you, some of your favourite sweets and drinks for you to share. she placed them on the table next to her bed and settled into bed with you, causing you to immediately feel warm and safe next to her presence. you started the movie and cuddled in whilst eating the snacks , at this point the movie was just in the background the both of you not focused on it

she hugged you tighter and closer, to the point where her hoodie engulfing you and you could smell her sweet vanilla shampoo, her smell always comforted you for some odd reason. everything about her did

"i would never leave you my love , never in another life or this one. im always here for you.always" were the last words you heard from her before exhaustion took over you , the heavy weight of the day's events lifting little by little , as long as billie was there with you

despite you being asleep, billie was wide awake drawing shapes on your lower back underneath your hoodie. which was her hoodie but then you ended up claiming it as yours as it reminded you of her everytime you wore it

"i love you always" was what she said before sleep over took her

꩜ a/n - i seriously have no idea how to end fics sorry if this is absolute shit

꩜ taglist !! - @st0nerlesb0 @bilswifee @yellowjacketsslvt69 @bitchesbrokenpromises @dollarsbills @ohokaydawg @dousleepanymore

[sunny374940]

Writing Challenge Weekend-Davrin Edition

Hi @thedissonantverses, thank you for the tag <3 (I'm sure it's still the weekend somewhere :D).

So I picked 7 (Come on feet don’t fail me now) and 15 (Assan needs a bath), cause I was feeling silly and this thing fell out.

Horrible smelling foam

“So, what are we doing today? Truffle hunting? Target practice? Sightseeing? I know a handful of statues you might like.”

Davrin groaned. “Make one more pun and I'm throwing you in the river.”

“Aw, you're no fun again,” Rook laughed, nudging him with a shoulder.

“Not where your dumb puns are concerned,” Davrin chuckled, giving him a nudge back.

Assan was running in front of them and he looked twitchy today. He kept stopping and nipping at his sides and scratching himself.

“Is Assan feeling alright?” Rook asked.

“Yeah, everything's fine,” Davrin said with an extremely shifty look.

“Davrin?” 

“What? It's nothing.” Davrin was completely failing at being convincing.

“If this is like the time you used me as bait for Assan, I'm out.”

“Nah, it's not like that. He's got fleas.”

“Fleas.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Did he get them from the nugs?”

Davrin gave a defeated sigh. “Yeah. And he needs a-” his voice dropped to a whisper “-bath.”

“And you need my help specifically to give him one? I remember the last time you gave him a bath, the screeching-”

Assan's alarmed squawk cut him off mid-sentence. 

Davrin groaned. “Now you've done it.”

“What did I do?”

“You said the b-word.”

“Bath? He would have found out anyw-”

And Assan was gone in a great flapping of wings. They took off running after him.

“Assan! Come back, boy!”

“I don't think he's gonna come back right now!”

They must have run through half of Arlathan. Rook’s hair was full of twigs from when he had to fight his way through some bushes, Davrin was muddy after he slid down a slope he hadn’t noticed and they were both getting out of breath. But Assan luckily got bored of the chase and settled in a very tall pine tree. He looked so smug up there, lounging like a cat.

“Assan, come down, I've got gingerwort truffles,” Davrin called to him between gasps for air.

A negative squawk.

“I think he knows you're lying,” Rook wheezed at him.

“Come on, a little bath never hurt anyone,” Davrin tried and Assan hissed indignantly and moved up a branch. He apparently begged to differ.

Davrin turned to Rook. “A little help?”

“Assan! Emmrich won't let you play with Manfred if you keep the fleas!” Rook called up. Assan tilted his head in consideration and made a questioning trill.

“I mean it, Emmrich hates fleas.”

Assan shot straight down to land in front of them. He shook himself off, scratched at his side with a back leg and trotted towards the river.

“Wow,” Rook breathed out. “I can't believe that worked.”

“Me neither. Let's go before he changes his mind.”

Assan was already splashing around in the shallows and bounded to them when they got closer. 

“Good boy,” Davrin said, patting his head. 

But giving a bath to a reluctantly cooperating griffon was a messy affair. He got himself wet alright, but the shampoo was… something.

“What’s in that?” Rook asked, wrinkling his nose at the smell.

Davrin looked like he was trying not to breathe. “I don't know. Herbs? Harding swore up and down it works on mabari.”

Assan took a sniff and backed away.

“C'mon, boy. If you don’t like the smell, the fleas certainly won't.”

Davrin put a glob of the stuff in his palm and gave the bottle to Rook, who did the same. They inched closer to Assan, who was clicking his beak at them.

“He won't bite, will he?” Rook whispered.

“Nah, he's just pretending. He knows that griffons who bite get their gingerwort privileges revoked.”

Davrin reached out with the shampoo and even though Assan really didn't bite, the next few minutes were best left forgotten in Rook’s opinion. There was too much splashing and horrible smelling foam and a lot of screeching. A Lot of it. Both Rook and Davrin were toppled over and into the water several times by an utterly disgusted and very foamy griffon and Rook was seriously regretting ever agreeing to this outing. And then Assan decided he'd had enough and dove underwater to rinse himself off, to Rook’s immense relief. 

Davrin sat down on the riverbank, huffing out an exhausted breath, and Rook flopped on his back next to him. They were drenched. At least the day was warm. 

Assan came out of the water and shook himself off vigorously, but there was no way that could get them wetter than they already were. Davrin flopped on his back too.

“Hey, Rook?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for the help.”

“Anytime. But I think I can just deal with fleas in the Lighthouse next time this happens. The shampoo really stinks.”

“Yeah. I'll make the fleas little beds. They can sleep in your room.”

“Only if they're fancy beds.”

“Only the fanciest for you.”

“Thanks.”

Assan curled up between them and closed his eyes. He was almost dry and his feathers were gleaming. And Rook’s hair was still full of twigs and Davrin was still muddy. It felt a touch unfair. Rook reached out to pet Assan and Davrin did too to Assan's delight, which he announced by a trilling purr.

“You know what? Assan's right. I'm taking a nap too,” Rook said. He was exhausted and lying there in the sun felt very nice.

“Good call. Wake me up if something tries to eat us.”

Rook yawned. “Sure. Don't wake me up if there's fleas again.”

Davrin's chuckle was broken off with a yawn of his own. “I'll put them in your pockets.”

Assan clicked his beak at them.

“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” Davrin laughed. “Less talking, more petting.”

Rook was running his fingers through the soft feathers on Assan's back and Davrin started humming quietly. This really was nice.

[marauder-misprint]

Ahhhh!!! Congrats on 1000 it is so deserved!!! Can I request the prompt "this is the worst decision you will ever make, I'll see you at seven" with a post azkaban sirius? I think it would be hilarious if reader is the one to say the line, but I would love to see whatever you do with it!!

Hi! Thank you ❤︎ I know this ended up being short, but for some reason, I struggled to write this. But it's pure fluff and I think everyone enjoys fluff ❤︎

1,000 Followers celebration

Hope y'all enjoy ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

Drinks

Sirius Black x fem!reader

microfic - 942 words

cw: fluff

Paying attention during Order meetings proved to be difficult. Moody’s voice melted into an incomprehensible buzz as you stared across the room. The room was slightly stuffy; old wizarding homes didn’t have the ventilation that they really needed, even in the kitchens. Moody was recapping the points of a mission that you weren’t going on. It made you feel less horrible about zoning out. 

Across the table from you was Sirius Black. You knew him from when you were at school. You didn’t expect him to recognize you; you were a few years younger than him. Being as popular as he was, the whole school knew about him and you didn’t have that recognition. Within your own year, you had some traction, but it was nothing compared to the Marauders. 

Sirius’ personality, as you observed it during meetings, hadn’t changed much since school, which you found intriguing. The man had been to Azkaban and escaped. He managed to maintain who he was despite constantly being around dementors. That wasn’t something the average person could do. And if you add in the fact that he actually fought in the first war – you were still in school – and lost friends? He should be a shell of man. And yet, he wasn’t. 

“Hanging around, sweetheart?” a voice asked you, breaking you from your thoughts. 

You blinked before looking up at the source of the voice. Sirius. Oh. You blushed slightly.

“Meeting over?” 

“Been over for a few minutes now.”

“Sorry,” you said with a heavy breath. “Zoned out, I suppose.”

“Something weighing on you or do you just not like Moody?” he asked, resting his hip on the table. He had a very casual air about him. 

You didn’t answer right away. Your thoughts hadn’t been on the war, although that would’ve been an easily understandable answer. You debated telling Sirius that you had been thinking about him. You didn’t know if it would come off as peculiar, but you knew the longer you stayed quiet, the worse it would be. 

“No, no. Moody’s fine.”

“Then what’s on your mind? If you want to talk ‘bout it. I can put the kettle on,” he offered with an air of nonchalance. 

You hadn’t expected such kindness from him. Certainly not directed at you, a girl he barely knew if he even remembered you from school. You pushed your chair back from the table and stood up.

“Just thinking. The war, you, work, my family’s safety, everything.”

You had turned to leave, but Sirius reached out and touched your elbow. You looked back at him with a tilted head.

“Me?” 

“Yeah,” you said, facing him fully. “You’re an enigma. Just as you’ve always been, but it’s different.”

He chuckled. “As I’ve always been?”

“We were at Hogwarts together for a few years. I mean, everyone knew you, but you still managed to surprise people.” 

“Didn’t know we-”

“I’m a few years younger than you. I didn’t expect you to. I don’t think I ever crossed into your radar.” 

“Maybe you should’ve,” he said, eyeing you up and down.

You laughed and crossed your arms.

“You wouldn’t’ve even looked at me.”

“Looking at you now, though.” 

“Are you?” 

You couldn’t help the smile that was growing on your face. His tone was flirtatious. You wouldn’t deny that he was attractive when he was younger, just as you wouldn’t deny that he was still attractive. 

“Should I put the kettle on? So you can figure out this enigma?” he asked. 

He tucked some of your hair behind your ear. It was a cheesy move, but moves exist because they work and your heart skipped a beat when he did that. 

“Sirius, do you even know my name yet?” 

“No, which makes you a mystery to me. One I’d like to figure out.”

“Right,” you said before telling him your name. “And I really can’t be staying long tonight. I need to check on my parents. I worry about ‘em with everything that’s going on.”

“Of course. You did say you were thinking about the war earlier.”

You nodded. 

“Are you free tomorrow then? We can do tea, or something harder if you’d like. We have brandy, wine, beer, whiskey, the works.” 

“Is the escaped Azkaban convict asking me out?” you asked with a teasing lilt to your voice. 

“I am, although I didn’t commit the crime I was imprisoned for.”

“No doubt you’ve committed other crimes though,” you laughed. 

“But I wasn’t tried for those,” he said with a wink. “So, tomorrow. Drinks? Here, since, you know, I can’t leave.” 

“With a girl you don’t really know? This is the worst decision you will ever make, I'll see you at seven.”

You walked away from Sirius before apparating to your parents’ house. They greeted you cheerfully, assuming the giddy smile on your face was due to seeing them and not having made plans for a date.

Sirius shook his head as he laughed to himself, pushing himself off the table to put the kettle on. He didn’t need you to enjoy a cup of tea. Remus came back into the kitchen.

“I’ll have a cup too,” Remus said, sitting back down at the table. 

“Oh, you paid more attention to the younger students when we were at school. What can you tell me about the girl sitting across from me today?” Sirius asked as he placed two cups on the table. 

“Erm, not much? I’ve heard she’s good at dueling, exceptional wandwork. Why?”

“She’s coming back over tomorrow and apparently inviting her was the worst decision I will ever make.”

“Right, because going after Wormtail alone was so brilliant.”

tags: @navs-bhat, @bruxa0007, @faceache111

[dragonhero8]

So Next to Normal has completely overtaking my every waking thought since ive watched the new pro-cut version with the new cast and all new director and staging and boi oh boi do i have thoughts that i dont know where to put.

Spoilers!!! (Please go watch this musical)

So this post is gonna be that, me rambling about stuff that probably comes across to everyone but i wanna talk about how exactly the staging and acting and lyrics achieves all of it.

This is gonna be specifically about the pro-cut because every live show is gonna have its differences no matter how well rehearsed and such it is (thus the magic of theater). And i have personally only seen a few bootleg scenes so i dont have much to compaire to anyway. So just be aware that the details im pointing out are about the pro-cut where these small details are a lot more controlled and we can assume are intentional.

So about Make Up Your Mind/Catch Me Im Falling. (It's gonna take me a second to get there, bear with me) The reason why its one of my favourite songs from the musical now is because this is the song where we first see Gabe loose his power. Or at least what that power actively slipping away looks like.

Up until that point he always has absolute control of the stage and the people around him. Even if its subtle. The very first song in the musical, which is generally about introducing the characters and their struggles, we are convinced that Gabe is this poor, neglected, mama's boy. We should feel sorry for him but the way he acts goes against this personalisation completely. The way he plays with Dan and his keys, its cocky. The way he says "Morning sunshine~" to Natalie. And one of the first lines he sings is "...when the world will feel my power and obey". He is confident and moves around the space with ease and power, almost to a sinister degree. We brush this aside but it is very weird and it makes the viewer uncomfortable, as information that doesnt match up completely should. We feel that something is off about him and this family but learn only later what exactly.

This point is at its most powerful when Gabe himself is at his most powerful. Which would be during I Am Alive. When the mask falls. He is up in everyone's face during this, he stands as close to others as he possibly can without actually touching them, he is loud, outsinging everyone. And even when others do talk its him who holds the microphone for them. Its literally him who tells them when they can talk. Its him who tells Natalie and Diana what pills to, or not to take. He is in absolute control of the family, he cannot be ignored. And this is what i really love about the West End version. Gabe is influencing everyone! He is there in nearly every scene. The whole stage is his, even the audiance, who he also talks to and leans close to during I Am Alive. Everyone can feel how heavy his presence truly is. How all consuming. Its not just in Diana's head. He is haunting the entire family.

And now we reach Catch Me Im Falling and how it shows us Gabe being put down a couple pegs in real time. Firstly the lighting. During almost the entire song Gabe is locked out of center stage. He literally isnt allowed in the spotlight. He tries to reach Diana but is forced into the darkness again and again, reduced to an observer, barely visible. When he does make it into the light fully he is immidietly shoved to the ground. (By Dan's words, the exact same words and melody that we first learn Gabe's true nature by. "He's Not Here") Crawling on all fours.

And the floor throughout the musical is a very vulnerable place to be in. We see this first with Diana making sandwitches on the floor. Our first introduction to her mental state, we see it when Dan lowers himself to try and reach Diana in You Dont Know, we see it with Dan and Gabe on the floor after Diana's attempt and Diana is on the floor a whole lot when dealing with her memories about Gabe. Or even Natalie taking Diana's pills. Its a horrible place to be in...its characters at their lowest. And thats what Gabe gets during this song. So of course he uses the only thing he can and plays the role of the suffering son, calling out to Diana. But its quiet and small, whether this is true vulnerability or only a false act is up to anyones interpretation of how concious the character truly is. But I see it as him flying under the radar just enough and managing to end up in Diana's lap, clinging to her exactly like a child would. Reaching up and just "accidentally" ending up holding her.

This is when Natalie finally gets mentioned. When we learn just how little space she takes up in Diana's mind. How the therapist points out her absence in her story and Diana almost looks confused to hear it. And of course this discovery is what puts Gabe back on his throne. He stands up, he smiles and he sings loud again "She's Not There" He is. This is in part the perfect answer to Dan's words. But also shows that he is still far more important than Natalie could even hope to be. Stealing her musical motif and melody once again to use it against Diana (exactly in the way he does in Superboy And The Invisible Girl).

After this the fight between Gabe and the therapist becomes more equal, Gabe circling on the edge of the spotlight like a predator and the therapist moving with him to block his path to Diana.

Honorary mention to the very end where the two children seem to almost pull her in two opposite directions as she falls back into the therapist chair. Quite literally being caught by him...as she sings about falling.

[sunrisecaminus]

AH YOU FINALLY REOPENED REQUESTS YAY could I get some NSFW with smokescreen I just need him between my legs making me feel good and eating me out of man y'know I'm asexual but then there's smokescreen idk what happened with my brain

Message - I am very happy I am not the only one who thinks he is an eating out kind of guy.

Smokescreen x Shy Reader NSFW

Summary - Smokescreen is hungry for you.

Warning - NSFW

Smokescreen has been driving for what seemed like hours. He has never been as excited to get back home until you texted him that you were ready for interfacing. It has been a month since you got better from being ill. You were trying so hard not to give any germs to Smokescreen, knowing it could give the human kids the horrible sickness. After, you were very nervous to be all touchy with Smokescreen again. Smokescreen loved snuggling with you and it was something you were not use to from the start of your relationship. Being so close to someone makes you feel so warm, but nervous about what you look like. People seeing others naked is such a personal thing, being able to share it with Smokescreen was going to be something you would have to get use to.

Putting your legs close together, you are feeling yourself getting warm already. No matter how nervous and timid you get, you really do love Smokescreen's touch. He knows how to treat you well and understands your shyness. He maybe a wild guy who wishes to go rough on you, but Smokey also loves to get romantic and give you the sweetest kisses.

…

Smokescreen headed over to the base as quick as he could. It was already 8pm and it has been a few hours since you gave the text message. He yearned for your touch, but new the dangers of your sickness if he ever got too close. That month was torturous without you, nothing except that sickness could get him to be away from you for long periods of time. He hated being in the other room to talk to you while you were locked up in your bedroom. It was probably the worse days of his life (worse than the war in his opinion).

Driving into the base, he transformers quickly and starts to frantically look for you. Looking high and low, asking Ratchet if he has seen you anywhere, looking in his birthroom. When Smokescreen rushes into the bedroom, he hears small soft noises inside. Being confused, he closes the door silently and walks over to the birth. "…Y/n?" The noises seem to continue as he opens up the sheets to find you. You were touching yourself…rubbing your fingers up and down your crotch, your hand in your pants/underwear. Smokescreen blushes heavily seeing you, watching as your eyes meet his. You didn't stop, your face a flushed color. "mmh! Smokey please!."

Smokescreen takes this as an order and shakes his mind out of space. He gets on the bed and smirks. "I didn't know you needed me that much." With the other arm you weren't using, you covered your face to hide your messy expression, but Smokescreen uses his digits to shoo your arm away. "nuh uh, let me see that beautiful face." Dragging his digits down in between your boobs, all the way down to your pants, he takes the hem and pulls your pants off completely. Hearing you gasp from he cold air hitting your legs, you realize what he was ready to do. "Are you sure?"

Smokescreen blinks in confusion, perking up to your face. "Hmm? What do you mean?" You sees his eyes and shake your head, standing up and grab some sheets to cover you. "I never asked you if you really wanted this. I-I'm scared you only want this because I do." Smokescreen looks around, not understanding this at all. He sits down next to your body and thinks. You knew he just came back from a mission, fighting for his life out there. You told him you really wanted to do stuff with him, but he never texted if he was wanting it to. He never did text back…all you remember was him not replying so you went to relieve yourself quickly before he was suppose to come home. What you didn't know was that Smokescreen totally forgot to text you back because he got too excited. Bro was feeling his own crotch panel almost popping reading your text. He has wanting to show you how much he loved you from the very moment that notification pop upped on his coms. Optimus has no idea why Smokescreen started to just go nuts on some Decepticons, not letting a single one even get a chance to pull the trigger. Now he is realizing you probably thought he rejected the notion to have sex from ghosting you for hours and now just came back out of pity.

He finally turns to you again and smiles. "Y/n, I am so sorry I didn't reply back. It might sound crazy, but I was so excited to hold you again, I might've completely forgotten to say something!" You look up at him with a shocked face, than after a while of thinking, changed to a blushy mess again. "So…you were so happy…you didn't reply? I thought you didn't know how to say no to me…" Smokescreen embarrassingly looks away. "You know me…I don't think straight. But that doesn't matter! Open your legs!" He pins you, hovering his giant body over you. You gasp from the fast reaction. He had no shame in anything, making you feel too shy to open your legs for him. "How can you just say that!" Smokescreen chuckles and gets real close. "What? Can I not see my babes perfect body in full bloom?" Could he make your face any more red!?

The stupid mech takes your legs and slowly spreads them. He puts his head in between your legs and you feel his hot glossa press against your vagina. Arching your back, you moan out his name as he pushes his big Cybertronian tongue inside you. Your walls were being widened and filled more than you could ever imagine. He moves his glossa in and out of your flower nice and gentle, but it was enough to make you scream out. You already came once the moment he did a few pumps, but he kept on going. You were nothing but a moaning mess at this point, your head spinning from all the pleasure. You didn't want it to stop, it was like heaven. Smokescreen thought you tasted delicious, his optics close and eat you out, sometimes taking his glossa out to lick your folds and going right back in.

At this point, you cum again. You were blinded by sheer goodness, the juicy noises being the only thing you hear in the room. Smokescreen takes his time to stop and give you a breather. You try to relax and start to feel your legs shake. "Th-thank you, that was nice." About to cover yourself, you get grabbed by Smokescreen's servo as he lifts you from the birth. "Who said I was finished with my meal?" He says with…hungry eyes.

[kate-inthedarkness]

how r u??? would u b able to write abt eli x reader in her own band before anyone knew they were together, like sneaking around ppl having suspicion and they end up getting caught sneaking in each others bunks on the tour bus??? i absolutely love this concept !!

This idea is so sweet I'm obsessed!!

I love how much you guys are loving this AU, keep sending the requests xxx

Our Little Secret - Eli Hewson

Summary: Read the request for the summary xx

Warnings: Only some explicit language but that’s it!

A/N: I’m so obsessed with writing this AU it’s so interesting to me 😭. Hope you guys enjoy this one xxx

You never thought sneaking around would become second nature, but here you were again—pressed against the side of your bands tour bus at nearly two in the morning, your skinny slightly from the humid air as you waited for Elijah to sneak out of Inhaler's tour bus.

He caught your eye from the shadows, his hood drawn low and a mischievous smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. One hand lifted in a silent signal—ready.

You gave him the smallest nod and motioned for him to come over. He darted across the lot, silent as a phantom, and within seconds, he was by your side, laughing quietly as you tugged him up the bus stairs behind you.

"You know," he whispered once the door shut behind him, "for someone who's supposed to be an internationally touring artist, you're a terrible influence, my love."

You shot him a grin. "Oh, and you're not?"

Elijah leaned in, his lips brushing yours. "Guilty."

You rolled your eyes, but the warmth in your chest was hard to deny. Being with him felt like gravity—natural and inescapable. But it wasn't something the world knew. Not yet. Not while your careers were still carving themselves out in the spotlight. Not while people still scrutinised every word you said on stage, every word in interviews.

Your band has been opening up for Inhaler for nearly 3 months now. The guys—Sophie, your bassist; Jake, your guitarist; and Sean, your drummer—were all close with Elijah and the rest of the lads. You'd grown up alongside each other in the Dublin music scene, scrappy and loud, similar rehearsal spaces and cheap bar gigs.

But you and Elijah? That had only started around 5 months ago, in secret, during tour rehearsals and too many late-night writing sessions that ended in laughter and kisses whispered behind closed doors.

You weren't ready for that to be public. Neither was he.

Which made sneaking him onto your tour bus a terrible idea.

But tonight, for once, you didn't care.

You tiptoed through the narrow bus corridor, motioning Elijah to stay close behind. The rest of your band had turned in a while ago, their bunks lined up along the hall like stacked coffins (as Sophie would say). You held your breath, heart hammering, as you passed Sean's bunk—quiet, the curtain drawn. Safe.

Your bunk was at the very back—small, cramped, barely wide enough for you alone. But somehow, Elijah made it feel like a king-sized bed.

You pulled the curtain back and motioned for him to climb in first. He did, careful not to knock his head on the low ceiling. You followed, forgetting to tug the curtain shut, stifling a laugh as you settled beside him.

"Think we pulled it off?" he murmured, voice barely audible.

"I think we're—"

A cough. A shuffling sound.

You froze.

Then—click.

Light flooded the corridor.

Sean stood outside your bunk, hair messy, hoodie half-zipped, holding a water bottle and blinking at you like he wasn't sure if he was still dreaming.

You and Elijah locked eyes, then looked back at Sean.

There was a beat of perfect, horrible silence.

"...Mate," Sean said, his voice flat. "You've got to be joking."

He just stared at the two of you, one brow slowly rising. Elijah was frozen mid-turn in your bunk, half-under the blanket, looking like a deer in headlights. You sat up a little, your head nearly brushing the ceiling.

"Okay," Sean sighed, rubbing at his face with one hand, "so either I'm hallucinating, or I've just walked into some fucked up form of band on band incest."

You opened your mouth. Closed it. Opened it again.

"...Surprise?" Elijah offered sheepishly, trying and failing to hide behind your shoulder.

Sean blinked. "I knew it. I fucking knew you two were sneaking around. Sophie owes me twenty quid."

You groaned and dropped your forehead to Elijah's shoulder.

Sean crossed his arms, clearly savouring the moment. "You really thought none of us would notice the constant vanishing acts? The giggling? The weirdly intense eye contact?"

"Excuse me, it's not weirdly intense," Elijah muttered.

"Right. Because regular friends eye fuck each other on the daily. Sure Eli, sure."

You peeked up at Sean. "Are you mad?"

He scoffed. "Mad? No. A little offended that you didn't trust us enough to know about it? Maybe." His tone softened a bit. "You're one of my best friends, you know. I've had front row seats for this slow-burn drama since day one. I just wish you'd told me before I caught you spooning like criminals."

You winced. "We just didn't want the tour to get weird."

"Eli literally sleeps with his socks on," Sean said, deadpan. "This is not what makes things weird."

Elijah sat up straighter, frowning. "Hey, my feet get cold—"

"Not the point, Hewson." Sean turned back toward the front of the bus, shaking his head with a smug smirk. "I'm telling the others in the morning. You two can have the pleasure of explaining yourselves."

You flopped back onto the mattress as Sean disappeared.

"...We're dead," you groaned.

"Yep, we're fucked," Elijah agreed.

You looked over at him. He grinned.

And then you both started laughing. Loud, breathless, absurd laughter that you tried—and failed—to muffle into the blanket.

————————————

The next morning, the band meeting (of both bands), was a scene.

Sean had gathered everyone around the little kitchenette like he was announcing a murder mystery. You and Elijah stood at the end of the narrow table, looking like guilty suspects.

Bobby blinked between the two of you, then leaned back. "Oh my God. Sean wasn't lying."

Jake sipped his coffee. "I thought you two had been dating this whole time."

You and Elijah looked at each other. "Wait, what?"

Elijah shrugged. "You're not exactly subtle, babe."

Ryan nodded slowly. "Remember in Prague? You guys got "lost" for like, two hours. In a hotel, may I add."

Sean added, "Or how Eli magically needed to borrow our van three separate times when we were off?"

You rubbed your temples. "How did you guys even piece this together?"

"We're not dumb," Sophie said. "You two just act like you're in a teen drama 24/7."

Josh looked at Sean. "So, do I still owe you that twenty?"

"No," Sophie cut in, "I do. I said they'd crack by the London shows. You said Berlin. It's Amsterdam. Middle ground."

You stared at them all. "Wait a second, all of you made bets."

Sean grinned. "Tour's long. Gotta have hobbies."

Elijah laughed, shaking his head in disbelief. "And here I was thinking we were good at being discreet."

Sean reached into the fridge and tossed him a yogurt. "Next time, just tell us these things. We're your friends. We care. And honestly?" He pointed between the two of you. "You two are kinda gross. But in a sweet way, I guess."

———————————————

Later that night, after the show, you and Elijah managed to sneak away again—out onto the empty stage once the venue had cleared out, the echo of the final song still hanging in the rafters.

He took your hand as you walked across the scuffled floor.

"You think this changes things?" you asked, voice soft.

"With the guys? Nah," Elijah said. "They'll keep giving us hell, but they're happy for us."

You looked over at him. "And with us?"

He squeezed your hand. "It feels nice. Not having to hide it anymore. Not having to hide how we feel about each other. How I feel about you."

"Even if the rest of the world sticks their noses into every nitty gritty detail of our relationship?"

He nodded. "Let 'em think what they want. This—" He tugged you closer. "—this is just ours."

You smiled, resting your forehead against his.

Caught or not, the secret was out—and maybe that was okay.

Because now everyone gets to see just how much you love him.

And god, does that boy love you just as much in return.

[aventurineswife]

How would SAHSRAU cast react after seeing someone trying to pull a fast one and just confess their feelings towards their Creator, Their Divine Grace while everyone else is distracted.

Ohhh this is deliciously dramatic. You’ve got a recipe for immediate chaos, especially in a universe where the Creator is real, tangible, and divinely adored. The SAHSRAU cast would absolutely lose it—but in very different ways, depending on their relationship to the Creator and their position in the hierarchy.

Aventurine

Freezes mid-smile like a glitched-out NPC. You can see the stock market crash behind his eyes.

“Sorry, what was that? You confessed? To them? While I was gone for two seconds?”

He keeps it polite, even friendly, but the next time he corners that poor confessor, it’s under the guise of a “casual chat” that feels oddly like a business deal with your soul as collateral.

Kafka

Chuckles lowly. Leans back with that lidded gaze.

“Oh? Bold of them. Stupid, but bold.”

She’ll absolutely pull them aside later—not to threaten them, no no—just to talk. And by talk, I mean she’ll casually weave in every horrible thing she could do to erase them from existence if the Creator ever looked sad because of them.

Jing Yuan

Smiles as if he didn’t just hear a heresy spoken aloud.

“Quite the timing, don’t you think?”

He’s calm—too calm. Probably already running fifty simulations in his head about how to shift this person far, far away from the Creator without seeming overtly cruel. But make no mistake: he is not letting this slide.

Herta

Scoffs. “Oh please. They think that’s enough to win Their Grace’s affection? Pitiful.”

Herta immediately starts calculating the probability of their confession being accepted (spoiler: she gives them a 3% chance just to be petty).

She’ll probably invent an experiment to prove why it’s statistically irrational to love someone that far above you.

Dan Heng

Goes stiff. You might not notice a change in expression, but the air pressure drops.

He’ll say nothing, but that person will start seeing shadows flicker at the edge of their vision for weeks.

The confession? Forgotten by most. Not by him.

Welt

Closes his book slowly. Looks over his glasses.

“I suppose the foolhardy never go extinct.”

He won’t act directly—but later, he will find a tactful way to ask you what you think of that person. “Purely out of curiosity,” of course. If he doesn’t like the answer, your new admirer might find themselves reassigned to some forgotten corner of reality.

Silver Wolf

Blinks. “...Huh. Okay. Bold strat.”

She’s not jealous, per se. She just starts coding an aggressive pop-up ad virus that only shows up when the confessor is around you. They say “I love you”—your monitor screen glitches and flashes "ERROR: You are not permitted to flirt with admin."

Fu Xuan

Drops her jade tablet. Physically winces.

“The fate lines just snarled like a nest of vipers. What did you do?!”

She immediately starts recalculating every outcome, muttering under her breath about delusional mortals and divine proximity hazards. She’s not letting you be alone with that person ever again.

Guinaifen

“W-WHAT!?” She was mid-bite into a snack and nearly choked.

Tries to play it cool—fails.

For the next week she’s awkwardly hovering around you, trying to find out if you feel the same. If yes: she cries. If no: she high-fives you but then feels guilty and gives you a peach bun anyway.

And the rest?

Most of them would react like some mix of “jealous, stunned, and HOW DARE YOU TRY THAT WITHOUT PROTOCOL.”

You don’t just drop a confession like that to God. That’s like handing a love letter to the sun and hoping not to burn.

If the Creator so much as blinks positively at the confessor? Oh dear. You might need several characters physically pulling each other back from going nuclear.

All in all? It’s an emotional riot. And that poor confessor may never realize they nearly started a holy war with one sentence.

Now, I'm gonna go sleep... I better not see anymore SAHSRAU asks in the morning.

[dammit-tazmuir]

Some dumb lyctor polycule ancient history headcanons (+ canon interpretation rambling) like five people will care about but still

-

John is quoiromantic bisexual and A— was aromantic bisexual. They met earlier, maybe like grad school ("he could have gone anywhere, but he stayed with me"), and became very close affectionate friends with benefits. M— was straight ("was"; Mercy over time shifted to be masc-leaning bi; I'm still sorry I know this is my hottest take) and when she came along as an expert for the cryo project, both the guys went "oh hot damn wow." Then they talked to her for five minutes outside of business and A— went "fucking yikes nevermind" and John went "OH HOT DAMN WOW."

John and M— got closer over time and it was Very Different than his relationship with A—. Not better or worse, but different, which made A— and M— resent each other all the more. John and A— had never wanted to put a label on things, but A— was still pretty jealous and it still felt weird to John to consider dating someone, and listen the communication was messy and not ideal but it did happen, and this led to John and A— reclassifying each other as real "partners" (albeit still platonic ones) around the same time John and M— started dating. (Everyone consenting despite the conflict.)

In A—'s mind, M— was devaluing his relationship with John just because it was platonic and acting like she was better. In M—'s, A— was being a whiny pissbaby to act like he had dibs when he wasn't even in love with the man. Both of them were in fact being petty judgmental bitches who eventually grew to respect the other's bond but always thought of their own attraction style as superior. ("You never loved him as much as I did...") Basically A— was convinced his yellow cake was more pure and simple while M— thought her fancy extra icing vanilla cake showed more effort and devotion and John was over here going !!! TWO CAKES :D

(Un)Fortunately A— and M— were both extremely stubborn and competitive and it wasn't JOHN'S fault the other was insufferable, I mean maybe it was a little bit for having bad taste, but like, they cared very deeply about and wanted to be with him so they weren't gonna push him away, that'd be stupid. And okay MAYBE the other's intellect was at least admirable and it got kind of impressive that neither gave up and maybe they get to a point where they actively enjoy being catty bitches who can consistently match each other's wit. Maybe they start to notice John hates it when they fight "too" much but also really likes it when they fight over him if they do it right, and maybe they've realized through work that they do synergize really well whether they like it or not, and maybe sometimes it's fun to conspire to make him really really flustered.

Maybe John is incredibly endearing as a person and his brilliance and passion for the project and for helping people in general never fails to blow either of them away, and they're both so inspired by him that they'd follow him anywhere, but he is also more devoted to the job than to either of them and not really the most attentive person in a relationship. And maybe they don't mind that but they do like how intensely they can get the other's attention even if it's technically negative and it's exciting and unfortunately the other has always been really attractive and God dammit they're fucking about this aren't they.

They both feel horrible after the first time and expect John to feel betrayed but it's actually super fucking embarrassing how excited he is about it. Like not even in a "maybe now we can do threesomes" way (I mean that's not a NON-factor just not the main one), but because !!! LET'S GO you see it you understand I TOLD both of you the other was great. He'd tease them both so much at first. I'd say fully the vibe of "you like Krabby Patties, don't you Squidward?" but it's John and it was probably just directly that reference at least some of the time.

Also listen he's self-aware enough to realize he's not an ideal partner and whatever they wanna do with each other takes that much more pressure off him so?? this is a win-win all around in his eyes. (Maybe that's not exactly 100% true and in the back of his mind he is just a little paranoid they'll end up only wanting each other and leaving him, but 99.9% of that is stamped out with a bit of time to prove they still care about him. The 0.1% lasts for eternity until the night of the murder but still.)

For a while A— and M— both softened quite a bit, still constantly fought and both adamantly agreed this didn't make them partners, but it got to a point it was like 60% doing a bit. Still a significant amount of very real getting on each other's nerves but they're kinda sadomasochistic about it now, and they also really deeply respect and value each other. Their routine looks ridiculous from the outside but it becomes deeply comfortable to the three of them, and while John still wishes they'd tone it down a little more, overall all three of them reach a point it's difficult to imagine things any other way.

And then the project gets shut down and John made a scapegoat as an excuse to do it. M— breaks down crying, and John goes numb instead even though part of him feels all the worse for not being able to cry with her, but A— does, and they're both determined to stay with John no matter what, and he's so infinitely grateful for them.

(For G— and C— too. C— comes as a surprise to him, and she'd been a lovely person to work with before but skyrockets up his special people list because she stays. G— has been his favorite person in the universe for years and still is, even if A— and M— now share that title with him. Incidentally John would have at any point dated G— in a heartbeat if G— was remotely interested Like That, but he wasn't and that was also fine, it didn't actually make much difference to John as long as he could keep him close in some capacity.)

And then John has magic apparently and shit gets worse and worse and worse and worse and then John watches M—'s best friend shoot herself and in a moment of desperation catches her soul and becomes aware of earth's. And half from the trauma of witnessing that, half from the sheer overload of awareness he's suddenly processing, he walks around mostly dissociated, mechanical, watching people drop like flies and pluck, pluck, plucking each of their souls, idly wondering at how it seems like everyone is fighting because of him yet doesn't even seem to notice him now. And he's so numb, almost watching from outside his body, but then A— and M— are there dragging him behind the table and holding his hands so tight that it pulls him back to himself just a little. A— cries about how John was one of the best things in his whole life, they both were, and M— repeats like a mantra that they're together, they'll go together, at least they're together. A— in a stupid moment tells them both to run and tries to play distraction, but is shot dead. A moment later, M— is dragged out and with her dying breath begs them to please just take John alive, and they shoot her too.

And "this is the part where I hurt you." John fully snaps and acts in fear and desperation as much as rage. He can fix it, he knows he can, he has to, he's sure he can figure out how. He just needs this all to stop, needs everything to stop, needs to make sure this never happens again, needs the bastards responsible to pay. They'll ruin anything they touch no matter where they go and they deserve to die, and if he dies here then who's left with the power to fix anything? He can fix everything, he can, he can, he just needs more power. C— always said he had to choose between salvation and retribution but he doesn't, it's both, the power from their deaths can help him fix it right? It's just so hard to think, the earth itself is screaming and screaming, he needs it to stop, needs everything to stop so he can think and figure out how to fix it.

But actually no in the time it took you to read that last paragraph everything already happened so fast and there are already nukes going off and it's not enough and he's tripping over bodies as he runs outside and falls to the earth and tries to eat it and can't. He's vomiting from grief and exertion and the dirt he's shoveling in his mouth. And he finally realizes he's gonna need a vessel, and in the course of a second thinks if he's doing this to her he should at least make her new form perfect, and his idea of perfect is being 7 years old playing with mum's old dolls.

And then they slip through his grasp anyway, and it's just him, and Alecto, and all these souls he snatched up, and the fear that no one will ever laugh at his jokes again, that if he was wrong about being able to figure out how to put them back together he'll just be stuck like this for eternity.

Thankfully he does! He can Fix It so it's Fine and it Definitely Didn't Matter. It matters so little and he's so totally fine with it and definitely feels he doesn't deserve blame at all but you know let's make sure to erase everyone's memories of what happened just in case. Turns out it requires a new name to have a new life but he can just alter their memories so they believe they've always had those too.

He could alter anything about them, really, could make Augustine and Mercymorn crazy about each other and make them the happiest triad there's ever been... but no, he does not want that, he wants them, as close to what they were as he can make them. He does not like change and this is already so much. At the very least he wants his same friends and partners at his side helping figure out all these changes with him.

And then he fails to account for how much time alone will change them eventually...

[bacchuschucklefuck]

love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest

[garlic-and-vanilla]

This ask is in your inbox because my brain has apparently chosen to title you as The Illithid Understander and I feel like you might have interesting thoughts to contribute to this topic (please don’t feel obligated to respond tho!)

When I played through bg3 for the first time, what really stood out to me about the Emperor as a character was that he is full of ambiguity. Many of the questions about him, on both a personal level and on a broader level as an illithid, simply do not have concrete answers in canon. I thought that it was so neat how the writers enshrined a vessel for open dialogue regarding some of the biggest themes and questions of the game/story in a character. I thought the whole point of the Emperor’s character is that there’s no One Right Answer about: its intentions, its morality, how much it still is or isn’t Balduran, how much it is or isn’t a monster, why it cares so much about the PC, if it made the right choices, etc.

Which is why I was utterly shocked to find out that SO many people played the game and just… unquestioningly seemed to think that many of those aspects had concrete answers. That this character that, to me, was defined by ambiguity, had been determined by so many to simply be Evil.

I have my own theories about each of the questions/ambiguities listed above, of course, based on my interpretation of canon. But I see them as just that, theories and interpretation. Maybe my perception of the Emperor as a bunch of unanswered questions is just an interpretation, too, but then what was the writers’ intent? (Did my success in high school English classes make me overly confident in narrative comprehension? Lol)

I’ve read many an interesting take on the Emperor on tumblr and ao3 that seem to vibe generally with the whole It’s Supposed to Be Ambiguous thing, and I’d love to hear your take.

First of all this is so funny and I am so honored to be The Illithid Understander lmao.

Second I am very sorry I haven’t answered this sooner. Alas I am not used to ever receiving asks and just now realized I even have one. And what a wonderful message!!!

Honestly I think you fuckin nailed it my man. In a game that spends so much time and energy asking the player to think about questions like “what does it take to be a monster,” “what aspects cause a person to become monstrous,” and “when does it become worth it to become a monster” the Emperor is the ultimate answer. The non-answer. His character embodies all the questions the game wants to ask, and then doesn’t answer any of them for you.

The game shows you characters and says “this is a monster.” Ketheric Thorm is a monster, and Orin and Gortash, despite how sympathetic their backstories and motivations might be. It shows you cycles of abuse, manipulation, cult mentality, and indoctrination. The power of grief, love, fear, and ambition to lead people down monstrous paths even as they think they’re doing the right thing, or the only thing.

You as the player character directly help your companions navigate these themes. You see how they’re affected, how they struggle, what they might become if they choose to give in, and what they become if they don’t.

Do they become monsters? Do you let them? Do you encourage them?

The game shows you clearly what monsters are, and waits to see if you’ll become one yourself.

Withers asks you, “Do illithids have souls?”

He claims they don’t, initially, but that story is contradicted the moment he meets the Emperor in the High Hall, and when you meet him after undergoing ceremorphosis yourself. There’s also lore out there that says illithids do have souls— non-apostolic ones.

So far as the game is concerned, I’m not sure there’s supposed to be a solid answer to that question. I think— like you do— that it’s supposed to be ambiguous. He is not a character the game points to and says “here is a monster.”

I agree with you wholeheartedly that the Emperor is made of ambiguity. The lack of answers are my favorite thing about him. He’s a mass of unanswered questions that you look at and see the themes of the story inside.

Is the Emperor a monster just for being a mind flayer?

Is he a monster because he came to embrace the power his illithid nature brought him?

Because a friend turned on him, claimed he was lost, and he killed them in self-defense?

Because he dominated Stelmane, a situation we have no context for?

How much of his behavior is genuine? How much of Balduran remains, and how much is illithid? Does he even know himself? Does it matter?

He’s a big mystery. We simply do not know everything about his past. We don’t know how much of his behavior is real, or an act. We have to make the deliberate decision to take him at his word, or not. To trust him, or not. To love him, or not. All of this complicated by the reality that his mind and experience are alien to us (a whole other post by itself).

Ultimately, there are no answers except what we come to decide about him for ourselves.

Some people have decided that he’s evil, for various reasons, and sure, that’s certainly a way to answer the question. To end the ambiguity by deciding the Emperor is, after all, a simple monster.

But isn’t it so, so much more interesting if he isn’t?

[shalom-iamcominghome]

Frame switching when you're speaking other languages is such a thing because:

English (native): Swears like a sailor (actually, a sailor is more cleaned up). Dry, sarcastic, sardonic humor

Spanish (second language): 🤓🤓🤓

Hebrew (third language): What is a swear word? What is sarcasm? I have become nice jewish boy.

Italian (fourth language): My Italian ancestors have possessed me. Mambo Italiano is the energy of the night

[mistyycowoa]

Confessing my sins to the internet because my irl friends don't know my tumblr

I'm actually a horrible friend and I don't plan to change :)

I'll be a good friend to anyone I actually like and I usually don't associate with people who I don't like, but sometimes there will be an occasional lonely (usually annoying) kid that follows me around. (They're lonely for a reason.) I kinda hate people who are loud literally all the time but I can hold my tongue and this kinda person just doesn't leave because they're not being told directly to leave.

What do I do? I talk to them only when I need them, I make unnecessarily mean comments as a joke, I point out their obvious flaws that I know they have a hard time changing, and all while they still follow me around like I'm not kinda bullying them.

Sometimes I'll treat them like an actual friend when I'm in a good mood, but if I'm not, then the unfortunate victim becomes my emotional punching bag. (I have ways to quickly fix my mood and this is completely unnecessary and I could distance myself until I feel better like how I do with actual friends.) I think this is like. Breadcrumbing? Anyways yeah, toxic shit.

If any of your "friends" treat you like this, they don't see you as a friend. If they leave you doubting if they like you or not, leave you doubting if you're actually friends, they probably don't see you as a friend. (because that's the case for me :3 )

I'm a horrible human being and I don't feel nearly as bad as I should about it :)

[wackywatchdotcom]

i will say im not super invested in the idea of the show giving us too much information on c&a. like itll be super cool if we find out about it! and im sure itll be relevant information if we do but i think the information we get is going to be not super indepth, because im not sure itd match the tone of the show? its less about mystery and like The Lore and more about the characters and examining how different characters respond and have been responding to the environment set up by the show

(it WOULD be fun to learn more details about c&a and i AM curious i just dont think itd actually enhance much abt the show itself, and as such, i dont think its super important writing wise for the audience to learn about it either)

that SAID i do ascribe to the idea that ALL of the cast members worked for c&a before the ended up in the circus, no exceptions. i dont really know how say gangle or zooble wouldve ended up there, but i feel like they all ended up there one way or another. and i think most of the cast doesnt talk about their life in the real world bc its gone and theres no reason to dredge it up (or theyve forgotten it or most aspects of it), but it does make it fascinating that not even pomni, who has the least reason to avoid these topics at least early on, broached the subject of what in the WORLD is c&a UP to. it literally is never brought up ever as of ep 4. which makes me think the company was probably always super shady in some way to the pt that its employees were kinda desensitized to the idea that its c&as fault that horrible things happen

[volfoss]

we need to stop comic companies from creating worlds most fatphobic hero/villain content like PLEASE dear god.