#I faked my own death?

[majoresca]

Mine is a play on words with my name, my old school nickname: complainer, squeamish, demanding, who has exaggerated manias, and stuck up snob. That, in my native language.

So, I'm going to split the nickname in half: major-esca.

In the English language, "Major" means something big, an army position and a classification of musical notes.

While "Esca", means bait in Italian. And in the language I speak, the word "bait" is also a way of saying that someone is half drunk, and also means something flammable. ( I've never heard anyone use these expressions, but perhaps they're not used in my region.)

So, I guess it means that I would get involved with someone who didn't like my attitude and wanted to get revenge on me, or that one of my exaggerated habits ended up being my downfall.

So we have a list of:

A complainer.

Someone squeamish.

Exaggerated manias.

A snob.

Something big.

An army position.

A musical note.

A bait.

Someone half drunk.

Something flammable.

Okay, maybe the following scenario:

I accidentally made a comment about a major, who sang badly at the karaoke bar.

And while they were drunk, they threw their drink at me.

Which was probably one of those flaming drinks, that caused a fire where I got burned?

Wow! What a detective game!

Whatever the reason, we can summarize that whatever it was, it would be a major thing.

Or...

That my death was just a big exaggeration, and that in fact it was all a big bait! To achieve something. A "Major Esca"!

Reblog and put in the tags how you would die if your URL predicted your death

[nostalgic-shamefest]

They weren't on the same page that night at all!

[ukegenius]

i think about the better world/parallel dimension so much, man, like what happened to stanley after he left with that journal ? is he just off on a boat running away again still homeless ? did stan and Ford have a small reconciliation, did stan come back after leaving with that journal? WHAT ABOUT EMMA MAY AND TATE ?? DID FIDDS STILL ABANDON THEM, did fiddleford not have the memory gun, or did he not have a chance to really use it when Parallel Ford went to reconnect with fiddleford ?

im pretty sure the parallel world is just supposed to show how our ford thinks its all amazing and "better" because he got what he think he wanted in the end ( recognition , fame , someone who changed the scientific world ) but in reality the parallel world is kinda sad to me guys idk 😭 in that world ford never got to reunite with his brother. ( from what we know ) granted, the apocalypse never happened, and Ford didn't have to wipe stans memories, but they didn't even get to reunite like they did in our version of Gravity Falls. Did Tate ever come down to gravity falls to meet his father ? did Emma May and Tate move to Oregon to be with Fidds? did they still divorce because Emma, your husband MIGHT just be queer. I have so much going on in my brain over this au it makes me crazy

[cookinguptales]

[GLASS ONION SPOILERS BELOW]

a story in three acts:

1.

2.

3.

[official-linguistics-post]

do you have a favorite wizard, mg. official-linguistics-post?

if you are in the d&d inclined direction, do you have a favorite spell? and/or, if not so d&d inclined, any favorite general sort of wizardry?

there are always several wizards rotating in my mind like a gas station hot dog rotisserie, but i gotta give a shoutout to @quiddie's laerryn coramar-seelie, certified toughest wizard in existence. what a woman.

i've actually played only one session as a spellcaster (a sorcerer) but my favorite of his spells is currently mage armor because he's a tabaxi so he just. puffs up his fur.

[uncleardyn]

(alan wake-gravity falls crossover) man i love that character. you know, the deeply paranoid author who made a pact with a dark entity that ultimately ended with him stranded in another dimension separated from his loved ones for years at a time? takes place in the pacific northwest? has twin imagery associated with him and a reoccurring specific piece of symbology related to the unfortunate situation they're in? doesn't ever explain the reasoning behind his actions and instead just kinda goes "bro trust me"? yeah he also wears an outer layer of clothing with elbow pads on it, that one.

[sinni-ok-sessi]

the extreme sport of explaining to my parents about the logistical challenges of the NiF exchange without having to explain that I write stories about fictional characters kissing on the internet

[thedeadthree]

THE SUN ON YOUR FACE ON YOUR SHOULDERS ITS GOLDEN MOUTH WHISPERING (SO IT SEEMS) YOU! YOU! YOU! — 𝐂𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐀 𝐕𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑. 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑟. (x)

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 (ask to be added or removed or interact 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞!): @griffin-wood, @queennymeria, @nightbloodbix, @anoras, @leviiackrman, @aezyrraeshh, @marivenah, @risingsh0t, @avallachs, @full---ofstarlight, @unholymilf, @statichvm, @socially-awkward-skeleton, @alltoowelltv, @lavampira, @adelaidedrubman, @grapecaseschoices, @shellibisshe, @carlosoliveiraa, @carrionsflower, @cloudofbutterflies92, @kyber-infinitygems, @pinkfey, @celticwoman, @florbelles, @shadowglens, @yharnams

[cuntkaesque]

real scene from dexter new blood

[heich0e]

if i sing to the little criminal she starts purring and meowing and it's the cutest thing i've ever seen in my entire life

[thebiggestfuckgiven]

a lil prompt for the few dp x marvel gremlins around. i see you and ily.

Be Like Danny:

-> get contacted by the X-freaking-Men to try to get you to join their school for mutants

-> say no because you can’t explain that you’re technically not a mutant, just half-dead

-> live a normal (Fenton standard normal) few months afterwards

-> get kidnapped from your own school by evil scientists (that surprisingly are NOT the GIW)

-> escape facility using your sheer wits (being annoying) and ingenious fighting strategies (screaming and blasting)

-> run away across rooftops from the guards hunting you down while being injured (and holy shit are we in new york??)

-> get distracted by trying to spot the empire state building

-> get shot with a tranquilizer by aforementioned guards

-> painfully fall down into an alleyway, without seeing the empire state building (boo)

-> begin passing out but not before you see some red guy with literal horns (satan??) fight off the baddies after you

-> wake up hours later in satan’s lawyer’s (???) office, confused, dazed, and a little scared

-> pretend to still be passed out while desperately thinking up how to explain why guys with guns were chasing you down in the middle of new york without getting dragged off to the police

-> hope for the best

Random Excerpt-

Matt didn’t feel comfortable leaving the tranq’d (and fully knocked out) teen out in an abandoned alley. Very few people would, out here in Hell’s Kitchen. He also didn’t feel like bringing in a potential new problem into his home, so he decided on the next best place: the office.

Needless to say, Foggy was scared near shitless when Matt burst into their office in full Daredevil regalia with an unconscious boy in his arms. In Matt’s defense, Foggy wasn’t supposed to be here. He sent out a small thanks to God that at least Karen was nowhere to be seen. Heard. Semantics.

“Is that a kid? Oh my god, Matty, are you carrying a dead kid around? Is there a dead kid in our office?”

Language, Matt bit back.

Foggy’s heart beat a violent staccato as he followed Matt into their conference room, breathing stuttering when Matt laid the kid down on the table and his head turned limply to the side, his hair softly shuffling against the metal.

“Matt!”

Foggy waved his hands around wildly, the sound fluttering in Matt’s ears. Without a word, he grabbed Foggy’s arm and dragged him out of the room.

“Please keep calling me by my name in front of a stranger,” he hissed out, annoyed.

“In case it may have passed your attention, that stranger is unconscious. Or dead, for all I know! Because you haven’t said a damn word since you slammed your way in here by the way!” Foggy was whisper shouting, staying close to Matt’s side. He could almost see how Foggy’s eyes were wide, if he tried hard enough. Listened closely enough.

“He’s not dead,” he let out before walking to the front door to lock it and make sure no one was around.

There was a light slap sound as Foggy raised his hands in a pointless gesture and brought them against his legs.

“Oh, yeah, that’s reassuring,” he said to himself, but not bothering to hide it. Matt heard him walk back to the conference room. He held back a sigh, ignoring it for the time being. There hadn’t been anyone following them, but he’s been doing this long enough to know that some people knew how to keep their distance well, or even knew how to disguise their heart beats (God forbid the Hand had any involvement in this). They could even have a tracker on the kid.

Taking all of this into consideration, he would rather be safe than sorry. He was standing by the locked door, listening intently for any odd sounds outside the building or on any surrounding roofs. Like the same footsteps going by, feet shuffling as though someone was waiting, heavy breathing, the smell of gunpowder, or the sound of a bullet moving into its chamber.

He waited, hearing no signs. It was one minute before he heard the exact moment Foggy found the kid’s pulse.

“Matt,” he heard Foggy’s voice, a whisper. “He-he’s dead. He- oh my god, I’m going to be sick.

The kid’s pulse, or to anyone checking by regular means, lack thereof.

Matt waited one more second before moving away from the door to save himself from the stench of throw-up.

“I said he’s not dead.”

[vulpinesaint]

listen i am geralt of rivia hater number one but one thing i actually CANNOT stand is when the fandom mischaracterizes him. took one look at this man who speaks very straight-forwardly and matter-of-fact and is a little recalcitrant with his words sometimes and went "haha he communicates in grunts! man who only says 'hm'!" and then won't even write him to speak in full fucking sentences. hello???? hello???????? yes the netflix show was a bad influence on everybody because they were trying too hard to depict geralt as a stoic manly badass but we CANNOT let that distract us from the REAL thing to make fun of geralt for. which are his Constant Unprovoked Monologues

[respectthepetty]

I'm traveling and tried to play the long con to get out of group activities, so I could watch my little gay shows in peace, but it didn't work. Now I've only watched two shows out of today's six, and the way this is going, I won't be able to watch anything until next Wednesday.

I remember when I thought February 2023 was rough. If only I knew what was coming.

As the queer Jack Twist screamed on a mountain in Wyoming "This is a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation"

[snake-snack-stede]

🌿 they are plant dads 🪴

[clownjacket]

Okay my crack theory for Lucy’s god situation:

What if instead of dying Lucy’s god became an archfey and fucked off, forsaking all of their followers. I could see that as justifiable for a minor god—maybe you don’t want your personality and existence to be dependent on a group of people small enough for a really big hurricane to wipe them out. Maybe you want to try your hand at self actualization, which you can’t really do as a god. Whatever.

But that would still mean Lucy’s grades would be screwed for the year, and the whole group would be switched to pass/fail.

Whatever god they’re trying to bring back seems like they want to stay a god, but would also only have a single living cleric so their nature would be heavily influenced by who that cleric is, and could still be controlled. Bringing back an established dead god with living followers probably reduces the risk of the god immediately dying or completely sucking ass/not being powerful like what happened with YES!(?), and we know the Ratgrinders LOVE minimizing risk. And choosing a dead god that represents something Lucy is actually passionate about preaching and proselytizing would make her work as a cleric much easier for her emotionally than, say, switching to Helio and just going through the motions, and bringing back a god would probably look good on college resumes.

Idk, that’s just an alternative theory to Lucy’s god dying based on what’s been established this season.

[grasslandgirl]

watching ugly betty and it's truly so wild to see the actress who played eve baird in tlib be daniel's trans older sister and it be written in a way that's kind of....... good?