#I exclaims with excitement

[sillycyan]

I’m very excited to plays the Rayman games agains

[kyuuvoid]

GUYSS look at what my uni library has!!!

[absolutelyzoned]

DISMEMBERMENT!!!!!

[uwu-scraptrappy]

genuinely what is logan nelson's actual hair color. is it like a dirty blond. ginger. light brown to the point it's blond. logan fans help a newbie.

[euporie-art]

me asf tomorrow

[la-galaxie-langblr]

So Much happening, lots of it good but So Much

[avolan-istair]

く⁠コ⁠:⁠彡

holy moly... the squd

[n1ghtly-t3rr0r]

I love that I can save posts I don’t post to drafts !!

…

I can’t find where my drafts are stored

[auto-correct-sucks]

The creature ft Baggs by @megalommi and Papyrus undertale

[madame-mongoose]

False fall is here southerners remember not to get your hopes up

[reallyhardydraws]

I, too, love all the dogs I see in farmer's markets in my town, and that's why I just placed an order for the tote. The pattern is also the cutest thing ever! Thank you so much for making something so cute, I can't wait to use it! ; w;

😭💖😭💖😭💖😭💖thank YOU so much too! super super honoured that you like it and i'll have it in the post as soon as i can!

[kazemi-archive]

KAZE my love how are you today ? I just wanted to say that I hope your weekend is so much fun and that I adore you !!

HALEY HALEY HALEY HI!! im so sorry i didn't see this earlier 😭 i've been offline all day.

but i had a pretty okay day today!! bought my plane ticket for the summer bc i'm going to see my best friend graduate and semy boyfriend and friends! super duper excited for it and finally feels real !!!

but i hope your weekend is going amazing too bby and i adore you so so so much more!!

[bmpmp3]

The World's Last Remaining North American Tantei Jinguuji Saburou Fan.

[fazcinatingblog]

Good night Tumblr xx

[la-galaxie-langblr]

Anxiety over year abroad vs excitement over year abroad FIGHT

[foldingfittedsheets]

Since everyone seems to love my sex shop stories, here’s another one.

Phone calls were literally a game for us. Not all phone calls, but there was a specific brand of call where guys would creep on us. 90% of the workforce at the sex shops was women. So we’d get dudes calling jacking off or trying to get their jollies from us.

The game: make them hang up. We could have hung up. On a few occasions I did, but for the most part we made a sport out of getting creeps to go flaccid. It really depended on a caller.

You couldn’t just go in for belittling them straight off- some guys wanted that. You had to tailor your strategy to the perv. Overall it was pretty fun and it turned an aspect of the job that could’ve become a major bummer into a fun sport. We’d get excited when the phones rang.

So one day the phone rings. I pick up and it was very clearly a young teen who was putting on a deep voice. I was utterly delighted, I’d never had a crank call before. He said, “I have a dildo emergency! Can you deliver 5 boxes of dildos to my home?!”

It took everything in me not to crack in that moment. It was so funny. It was like three kids had walked through the door in a trench coat and the phrase “dildo emergency” was one of the funniest things I’d ever heard.

But I kept it together. In smooth customer service tones I replied, “Oh, I’m sorry to hear you’re having an emergency, but due to the nature of our product we do require people to come pick it up themselves.”

The caller audibly deflated. Some of the deep voice he was putting on bled away when he said plaintively, “But it’s an emergency…”

“I’m sorry, sir, rules are rules.”

He hung up. I burst out laughing and told my coworker what had happened. She said, “I will buy you lunch if you call back and pretend you can deliver something.”

This sounded like an all around win for me, and the kid hadn’t used anything to block his number. So I called back.

“Hello!” This was before caller ID was common for home phones and so he picked up in his totally normal voice, several octaves higher than before.

“Hello, I’m calling regarding your dildo emergency?”

“Oh! Hem hem,” he coughed, getting his voice back into character for me. “Yes! The emergency!”

“Well I’ve spoken to my manager and it’s your lucky day. We’ll be able to make a delivery after all. Five boxes you said? We can swing it by later, we’ll just need your name, address, and credit card number.”

He was thrown by needing to provide info and was silent for a moment then said, “Well how much is it for five boxes?”

“About five hundred dollars, sir.”

He slipped out of his character voice to exclaim, “Five hundred dollars?! What kind of dildos are they?!”

“Just standard six inches with balls, sir.”

This was his breaking point. He started wheezing with laughter trying to repeat the phrase “six inches with balls” incoherently.

“So your address and card info?”

He hung up and I broke down laughing too. We both got a kick out of it, and I won the game twice in one day.