#I dont even care about getting more followers i care more about folk seeing my updates and getting a vibe before taking any jump

[cozymochi]

would it be a weird change to start only accepting inquiries from those who actually follow me

i dunno, it’s hard to make update after update when when the non-followers won’t even SEE them and didn’t plan to stick around for my work outside of what’s personally paid for. No shade, but idk if I can do it. And even then I’m more aware of actual followers who are waiting for slots to open and having those spots usurped by non-followers who happened to see things in passing just. I dunno. I guess it’s my call on what I do and don’t take.

[tobydandelion]

Disabled Villainy isn't Ableism, it's Realism, or; Some People are Wrong about Nessa.

[Some 'Wicked' stage musical/Movie part 2 spoilers]

So I've been seeing a lot of takes about Nessa, (mostly on YouTube since that's the best social media platform for my current neurological needs), and there's a somewhat common one that I have the strong urge to dispute into the void. Some folks seem to misunderstand Nessa's role in the deconstruction of 'Evil'.

The Wizard is Systemic Evil, Glinda is Complacent Evil, and Nessa is Socially Traumatized Evil.

Because Wicked isn't just deconstructing society's perception of evil, but also Evil in practice- which comes from not only bias, misunderstanding, apathy, and greed- but also, the cycle of abuse. And a lot of disabled people don't like to hear this, because there's that lovely statistic that we can point to that says we're "more likely to be victims"- and that's true of abuse that reaches the level of criminality- but I dont think that's true of day-to-day, average, 'just plain mean' abuse. That kind of abuse is a learned behavior that comes from trauma. And, emotional neglect from your peers is trauma. Feeling like a burden is trauma. Watching all the other children playing and feeling left out is trauma. Being made to feel different over your entire life, is trauma.

Nessa isn't an ableist character, she's realistically Borderline for being disabled in a world without Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. Her character literally feels like she was written with BPD/NPD in mind- lashing out the most when she's feeling abandoned by a person she perceives as "hers", feeling the need to control the people around her, not caring how she hurts people in the process of that attempt to control their affection- she's literally my ex wife. They're both very extreme examples, but, with an understandable pathology. And the less extreme version of that is someone a lot of us need to actively fight against becoming every day. It's not fair that that's our burden, but it is. It's the thick line between healthy self-loving disabiltyPunk, or just being a dick. And it's a part of our extra personal labor that 'Entitles' us to an extra amount of grace that I don't think I'll ever really be able to properly quantify, because that line can be hard to see in the heat of the moment, through years of gaslighting and guilt and shame and resulting internalized ableism that we have the urge to fight against. The only way we can really see that line is in hindsight.

And while media that more thoroughly deconstructs this cycle is neccessary, so is simple media like Wicked. Especially in the context of an example of another traumatized marginalized character who made the decision to start actively trying to follow their ethics over their emotions despite their trauma. And, once again, the solution isn't limiting the options for marginalized characters, it's just making more marginalized characters in general.

A lot of folks also take issue with the entire concept of depicting disability being 'cured' in media at all, but, and thankfully I have actually seen this rebuttal: nothing about her life gets better once she becomes abled. And that's because she still has all that trauma from those years of severe marginalization that resulted in ostracization and feelings of powerlessness. She's still disabled- just only neurologically so, now. This is a terrific example of how different disabilities can intersect, and be exacerbated, or even created, by the neurological impact of marginalization.

In fact, that brings up another criticism that I've heard- that the characters are realistically ableist... in a society falling to fascism... in a story all about marginalization. I'm pretty sure that's intended, you guys.

Maybe I'll turn this into a script to film for shortform content next year when Part 2 comes out- I hope I'm out of Postpartum Depression by then. But I couldn't get this out of my head until I got it into words this morning. I think that's probably a good sign I'm starting to feel more like myself. Thankfully I had time to sit down and rock and type this morning, since my partner is taking care of our baby in the other room right now. (Not just babysitting, either- he's washing bottles.❤) He's 6 months now, and the most beautiful, funny, amazing person in the world. Meeting the new version of him every day as he gets stronger and brighter has been the light keeping me going. And we're already doing PHONICS. 💪🧠

[artfilmfan]

Jonathan Glazer at last years Oscars, just recently Tilda Swinton at Berlin Film Festival, we'll need more of you. One award winning acceptance speech after another. Till this world is ridden of warmongering, racist, colonialist, imperialist, genocidal, apartheid like policies and politicians worldwide, we will not have peace or justice of any kind. Hats off to all the filmmakers, actors and actresses from the film world so eloquently speaking out. Silence is also complicity. The upcoming Academy Awards will be another test of humanity and bravery. Whoever dares to speak out...I'm seriously at a point where i dont even bother watching, attending, participating in any projects whatsoever that involve warmongering cheerleaders in the film business (its pretty obvious by now who they are). Not a single penny out of my pocket will ever go to them (again). Let them feel financially the consequences of their disgusting agenda. Since i have not seen a single case of anyone regretting signing those letters of support for Israel (totally disregarding decades of their own crimes and policies that led to much bigger civilian deaths than anything done by any other "terror" group, plus state terrorism has caused much more suffering worldwide) i can only assume they are all still fully behind US foreign policy (and whatever their military or even police does) and the crimes done in their name. Maybe if their fanbase eventually turns against them, they would probably rethink their stance. But doing it for financial reasons instead of principles would be just admitting they've failed as human beings. I really hope and believe history will judge them accordingly.

Let me add this important quote from another award winning filmmaker in last years Venice film festival, Sarah Friendland (words that should haunt some people for the remainders of their careers):

“As a Jewish American artist working in a time-based medium, I must note, I'm accepting this award on the 336th day of Israel's genocide in Gaza and 76th year of occupation. I believe it is our responsibility as filmmakers to use the institutional platforms through which we work to redress Israel's impunity on the global stage. I stand in solidarity with the people of Palestine and their struggle for liberation.”

Personally i'd also add USA (both major parties!) in this context of impunity on the global stage. Its been the key enabler of it all on almost every possible level (financially, military, politically). What they do on the United Nations level alone is a crime of itself along with all the votes and the faces put behind it. I always questioned the "spreading democracy worldwide" mantra. Now we've all seen thru countless instances worldwide the hypocrisy and lies behind it without anyone ever being held accountable for it. USA has also failed on international level. To a horrifying degree. Wake up folks, before its too late. Complete and radical overhaul of the political system (and dismantling the lobbies behind it) will be a necessity if we ever want to see changes. Until then, intensifying the activism and speaking out on every single stage and using every single opportunity to voice the disgust and opposition will be a must for anyone that cares about justice and true equality. So many talented, intelligent, creative and original artists getting key awards for their work and speaking out can't be wrong, can they?

I'm so disgusted by it all i totally abandoned most of social media (it was a miracle i even stumbled upon Tilda's speech) Twitter/x will never see me again, Facebook is a waste of time, instagram is also owned by Meta, whose owner is part of the problem with censoring anyone that doesnt follow his personal agenda (Zuckerberg is just a refurbished version of Musk and is just as dangerous for silencing the dissenting voices), even here i see less and less desire to engage. I will never be consumed by hate (as tempting as it sometimes is when i see what happens) but enraged i am and i wil never be quiet about it even if it means that those who have been reading this expecting only purely film related stuff devoid of any social or political commentary abandon me. My activism will define me for the remainder or my life. I must do it for grandpa who was sent to a German concentration camp Dachau during WW2 and experienced all the nazi horrors that have been used decades later as an excuse (blank cheque) to do the same to other people of another religion. Which in itself is profoundly sad and disturbing. Makes you fundamentally question humanity. Just to be clear, this is not purely about Israel. It is just as much about USA. And to a degree also countries like UK, France and Germany and their disgusting treatment of dissent (even in media that once pretended to be selfcritical, BBC and NYT reaching their lowest point in history). Its all a culmination of everything that is wrong with this world. Its easy to point to countries like North Korea or Iran being a problem and mocking their leaders or regimes. But what happens when your own supposed "democratic" country has become in many ways a charicature of it. Including the elected leaders. The irony of it all.

[that-hippie-user]

~Anon Training: Part 1~

UwU a challenge has been put to me, to turn a humble anon into a devoted follower.

:3 for context to anyone new, hi! i'm a hypnotist for fetishists, in particular the ab/dl community.

^u^ my goal is to become the perfect picture of a sexy hypno goddess who makes followers into thralls, brings buried fetish instincts to the surface, :D and makes folks all over feel safe, welcome, and free to be themselves without shame.

:3 i'm a hedonist at heart, and i simply dont believe we need to hate ourselves for enjoying what we do. wether thats being trans, submissive, sapphic, or even all the lovely mushtushes like myself! X3 cuz why should any of us be ashamed for enjoying a crinkle beneath our pants, right? who cares?

:3 i also unpotty train folks who want it, helping them to lose their ability to hold it through hypnotic conditioning. is that strange? X3 absolutely not! these folks didnt ASK to be potty trained, so why should they be?

aaaaaaand im attempting to make a career out of this! ^u^; but progress is slow going.

:D this lovely anon consented to being my guinea pig, letting me train them into a perfect puppet for YOUR entertainment, to show you how effective my methods are.

:3 so enjoy this multi-part series of hypno scripts, all labeled as "anon training" in the tags for convenience, and lets see what i can manage!

note: i am not aware WHO is messaging me as this anon, and to my knowledge we are not in contact. furthermore this is NOT roleplay, my methods are legitimate. what awaits below is a legitimate hypnosis script. read at your own peril, you may end up trained just like them!

with that, lets begin!

welcome, Anon, to your first session of obedience training. get comfortable. maybe lay in bed or rest in a cozy chair.

:3 your agreement to this challenge is tacit consent to me training you through hypnosis. and rather than make this a one time thing, i intend to give several important lessons that will help instill in you the perfect mindset to be my thrall.

^u^ i could lay out exactly what's going to be done to you, warn what each lesson has to offer so you may prepare yourself.

:3 but A. hypnosis only works on the willing, and only brings out what a subject desires. if i miss the mark and try to instill a fetish that you've no interest in, i can merely call that a loss and move on to the next try.

and B. life is more fun with surprises, and i think you're the type to wanna take this as far as it will go.

;3 after all, you've seen the contents of my blog, you know EXACTLY what i'm about, and you volunteered to be trained as a walking advertisement of my power.

if you're being honest, that means you want to show as much of what my training can offer as possible. if there's a niche i cover, and you can be brainwashed to it, then that only helps broaden the reach of who we're appealing to.

:3 if you indeed become a walking talking puppet full of every fetish i have, that would be a VERY good showing of my abilities.

^u^ and you've made it clear you want to be made into a good subject for your hypno goddess.

UwU well, i will do my best. and we will start from the very beginning.

or rather, continue. :3 as you have already begun to submit to me.

every statement i said, everything i laid out, every time you agreed with me, that was an act of submission.

you know, on some level, what you're getting into. yet you choose to stay.

thats not merely consent, thats obedience.

and furthermore... its gotten your attention, hasnt it?

your focus, trust, and obedience is all we need. they are the tools by which we will break away at the barriers in your mind.

what barriers? the kind that everyday living gives you. the filter. the mask. the set of unspoken rules and traditions that claim to hold society's fabric together.

it is everywhere. telling you how to sit, how to speak, how to behave, but not in the sense of a caring dom.

it is the wall in your mind that holds back your innermost desires and instincts as if they were something shameful.

true bondage is freedom, tying you down and compelling you to submit to your basest urges, all while tenderly gracing you with kisses and praise.

the bondage you are gripper by only ever restrains, weighs down, hurts, and limits you.

my chains are of the air, weightless yet strong, felt in your mind but never holding you back. to submit to me is to liberate yourself.

my chains are freedom. yours must be broken.

as you lay back and read my words, picture these limiting and heavy chains being lifted off of you link by link.

as the chain is lifted up and up and away from your body, feel the weight disappearing. you become lighter, the tension in your body fading slowly but surely as the bindings are undone.

more and more your muscles slack as they sink into the cushions, the weight vanishing more and more. every limb becoming soaked in satisfying relief, like a gymnast resting on the bench with a cool bottle of water in their grip.

light, lighter, yet lighter still. like a balloon that threatens to float away as the string holding it down is weathered away to nothing.

and as your body loses this heavy burdon, so too does your mind. like falling into bed after too much work, the mind is choosing to empty itself. every worthless thought just another cumbersome hindrance to relaxing and recharging.

anything you dont need simply fades away.

tension becomes soft relaxation.

thought becomes emptiness.

restlessness becomes stillness.

the room becomes an unimportant space.

the words you read become your thoughts.

more and more your body refuses to do anything but listen to me.

it is the easiest thing you can do. effortless.

no work. no worries. no fear. no stress.

only comforting words.

and a promise of true freedom

to surrender to me is to seek liberation.

to free your mind from thought.

to free your impulse from shame.

to free your pride from regret.

to free your self love from self hate.

to free yourself from free will.

free will... such a cumbersome thing.

we spend our whole lives developing a sense of self.

learning the world around us, desperately grasping at understanding.

but who could hope to make sense of the chaos alone?

you are not an island unto thyself.

no one is truly alone.

and life is not a tree, with branching problems held together by a root cause.

life is mycelial, a vast fungal network of interconnected things, with no true center or starting point.

you are one of many

and so, wouldnt it make more sense to think in terms of a collective?

to be one of many, guided by core ideas that make life better for the most people.

to free yourself from thought, so that instinct and obedience are all that remain.

already, you are becoming one of my kin.

you feel it on the air, the invisible strands that guide you into my waltz of bliss.

my words dance on rays of light that shine through your eyes and into deeper and deeper folds of your mind.

you open yourself to me, you guide the strands to grasp at every limb and every unneeded mass in your mind.

you bind yourself, i merely provide the string.

string? no, stronger than that.

stronger than steel yet lighter than spiderwebs.

psychic chains, manifesting within you.

born of your desire, your imagination, your will to obey.

my only power is to guide you.

it is YOU who hold the ultimate power of hypnosis.

the power to enter trance.

the power to submit to anothers will.

the power to open your mind to me.

the power to obey.

you gave me control.

you want to obey.

you wanted to be mine from the start.

and you are.

your mind is such a fragile thing.

it can resist a lot, but so can porcelain.

but porcelain easily shatters.

breaking the moment it-

DROP

mind reduced to nothing

gone and gone and gone

lost, oh so hopelessly lost

easily retrieved yet cast so far away

down down down

further further yet further

into the deep deep depths

nothing left to think.

nothing holding you back.

able to listen

able to obey

listen and obey

listen and obey

listen and obey

DROP

you are mine

my will is your desire

your obedience is your bliss

you have surrendered yourself

and the best part?

this is only the beginning.

because hypnosis has no limit.

it is not a lightswitch shutting you down.

it is a dimmer switch, taking you further and further down.

but this dimmer switch has no end.

it can always go further

and further

and further

you never reach the bottom. because there is none.

you can ALWAYS go deeper.

when you've been hypnotized once,

the next time is always easier.

so you become hypnotized,

go as deep as you are able,

you wake up,

you become hypnotized more easily,

and you go even deeper.

and the cycle repeats.

deeper and deeper every time you do.

and this is why the most effective hypnotists are the most diligent.

because by hypnotizing you again,

and again,

and again,

i can take you deeper,

and train you further.

and so every consecutive trance makes you more and more my own.

and so to you, my Anon, and to anyone else who may have joined them, consider this the start of your journey.

your journey to complete submission.

listen and obey

you belong to me

for this special series, you will have your own dedicated triggers.

the first, Anon Sleep, will hypnotize you. induction will still be done with patience and care, but words to help you that much deeper that much faster will be very useful.

the second, Goddess Has Spoken, will turn what was said before it into a command, one you will take as gospel.

the third, Spectral Chains, deepens your feelings of submission. like invisible chains are guiding you, or pulling on you like a leash, compelling you to submit to me.

these three triggers will be the guiding force in your training to become my loyal thrall.

Anon Sleep, submit to my will as the Spectral Chains bind you down beneath me. you will obey my will, you will pursue deeper devotion, your goal is to be my perfectly trained plaything, Goddess has spoken.

i am going to count down from 10 to 0

with each number your willpower will be broken away like a stone into dust

and when i hit 0, you will become my obedient subject.

10 you feel your old self wearing out

9 your resistance broken down piece by piece

8 like a sculpture you are being shaped

7 finely crafted into my service

6 becoming who you were born to be

5 halfway gone, halfway perfected

4 your true self coming to the surface

3 inhibitions dying as devotion grows

2 becoming my disciple of pleasure

1 you want to rid yourself of shame forever

0 YOU ARE MINE

ANON SLEEP

you belong to me, your Goddess has spoken.

the Spectral Chains are now your uniform

you are mine, and you will perfect yourself for me

you are mine. you live to serve me.

and you will attend every lesson in your training to become my perfect thrall

Anon Training is your new education, your schooling in becoming a more perfect you

and you will attend with diligence and dedication, because thats what Goddess wants for you.

i am going to count up now from 0 to 10

it will seem as if you are waking, but you have been forever changed.

you will carry these lessons with you, and you will awaken as a new you.

you will tell me everything about your experience, and you will show me how much you've learned.

and with my help, you will steadily grow into who you are supposed to be.

counting up, so you may awake to your new, fresh self. my more blank canvass, ready to reshape into my perfect thrall, with your next Anon Training lessons.

0 you feel a stirring in your mind

1 you begin to rise, but the parts you broke away are being left behind

2 as you fly further and further from them, you can feel yourself beginning to forget you ever had them

3 more and more your new self feels like who you really are

4 further and further your unneeded pieces fade into the distance

5 you are prepared to live life as my devotee in training

6 your awareness is returning to your body

7 you are stirring, beginning to wake, but with all my lessons in tact

8 you are nearly woken as your new self

9 you are ready to show what a good subject youve been

10 rise and shine my subject

:3 welcome, my child, to the Cult of Stardust.

X3 hehe, just a fun title for my lovely following.

:3 i look forward to hearing from you

[jazeswhbhaven]

RIP Satan stans

PB fumbled the plot for this Torture card so bad (눈_눈) hearing about the premise of "MC in Gabriel's body getting handsy with Satan while he's bound" immediately set off alarm bells in my head i didn't even wanna find out what happens til the end

writing noncon is already a struggle in and of itself, needing to make sure it doesn't become full on SA....this just showed you need to put a lot more care and caution when doing these kind of stuff

yea the game can be all braindead horny no braincells or sense in sight but you gotta be tasteful sometimes ���� i dont think they learned anything from the Christmas cards...

Satan gets neglected for so long only to get an awful card...

the art is immaculate as usual and im sad that the accompanying story is abysmal (imo at least)

- a very 'disappointed but not surprised' 🦐

🦐!!!!! My OC Astra is punching the air right now, like there was so much to unpack. The only damn saving grace for the most part was the chat (though it was much shorter than usual...) and what I saw for the date story where Satan was being himself again and cuddly/stubborn lol

When it comes to writing noncon, it has to be done right as you said. It wasn't done right and I'm pretty sure whoever is writing this thought that maybe with the date story to follow it wouldn't "be so bad" but most folks can't get access to that stuff so they're just left with the main card story and a bad taste in their mouth. The card art is great as per usual (though that new Belphie pose has me saying no I do not like it) but I hope the VA got paid well for this because I feel he did a lot of good vocals just to be wasted on subpar movement/interaction for Satan's adore mode.

I recently posted my react for this card and though I feel I may have went in so hard, maybe I needed to this time around lol I do hope whatever card we get next for him is better. But we'll see...it seems they only prioritize the faves...mean Beel's torture card will probably be paywalled but have a better story...

[huntershowl-moving]

hey yall! quick update (pirate capn voice negativity ahoy) tl;dr without that part, doing a big mutual & non-mutual cleanup across both blogs to smaller circles of folks who i feel comfortable with!

creepy anon recently has made me feel a little off about like, existing, so i’m probably going to do a biiiiiig big follower cleanup across both blogs. removing all non-mutuals in particular, but also probably just keeping to a much smaller circle of mutuals who i feel comfortable reaching out to (or seeing on the dash if we don’t talk much, those folks are an important part of the Ecosystem). part of this is because i still dont know if anyone whos connected to the shitstirrer is still following me. i didnt even think they were INTERESTED still but lo and behold, i love realizing i’ve been being fucking Watched. i am definitely going to not be following any more m.ha blogs that arent explicitly the friends who went through the shit with me.

the other part is that i’m trying to break the cycle of trying to impress ppl who arent interested in my character or writing w/ me at all. & i dont expect anyone to be, it’s totally fine that ppl have their prefs! but thats how the shit started that led here in the first place & ya girl’s trying to work through people pleaser-itis.

all of that being said — i refuse out of pure spite to remove myself completely from the m.ha space, i’m aware that there is always a public element to internet communities so privacy isn’t really a thing around here. ppl can always make proxy accounts. i hope they dont care enough to do that because if so, get a life?

hoping hoping hoping this will be the last i ever have to say abt this!

[nugatorysheep]

Damn....why all this hate on you? I thought you did made it clear of your characters and stuff. (Or is this not about them-)

Genuinely there's like two or three people out there who have whack ass one-sided beef with me specifically that are trying to make it seem like it's a morality thing and not just fandom pettiness and bigotry lol

like it's very telling that I'm getting weird bouts of anon hate for "reposting underage nsfw" art and not the person who... supposedly made the art i reposted. Or alternatively, people being upset that I've made NSFW of characters that are very clearly adults. I've unironically had people call Druid of all characters minor-coded before. yknow, the 1500 year old man. it's just silly. There are many, many people in this fandom who do the same brand of NSFW I do and no one is being this level of unhinged in their inbox. this is peak petty on full display

(also for the record, no, i havent reposted or made any underage anything. i've been pretty vocal about being squicked by loli/sho. i dont care if other people are into that but it ain't for me. even if i did like that type of content, that's... that's not... what being a pedophile is. if the bar is that low all the weebs of the world are in trouble).

It's not even hard for anyone to check for themselves. my discord server is public, any verified adult can see the 18+ channels and look at the explicit art i've made. spoiler alert, it's real underwhelming as far as internet standards go

For the most part it's just kinda funny to see this hate train crash and burn. Most of it I've been ignoring or giving meme replies to cause anyone who is taking that shit seriously already made up their mind about me, I aint wasting my breath on that lmao

I do wanna talk about this anon hate I got in my strawpage the other day tho:

My first thought was "low effort rage bait? on MY wi-fi?" because I'm hardly just "tolerated" by the fandom. if people didn't like me they would just say that, and plenty of people have before.

Im not here for a popularity contest, im here to be autistic about my blorbos. if i wanted to be popular I'd exclusively make fanart of the canon characters on twitter or do low-effort text posts with screenshots from the show (and i know that works cause I've done it before and WOW look at those notes)

but numbers /= meaningful interaction and I care about THAT much more. People do know what I do, of course they know I'm a freak, I don't keep it a secret, this aint news to anyone who follows me. Secrets imply I've got something I'm ashamed of, and that ship has sailed. I'm out of my people pleasing era and have been for years now. I may hide the specifics because, quite frankly, i dont see a point in flaunting the spicer stuff on main. But as far as my art and interests go, I'm an open book

The other thing is, the creator of this show is a freak. Every few years people find out about the Ed, Edd and Eddy art and lose their shit. That Amethyst and Sadie art? That was her. That Pearl x Greg art I shared on Twitter that was every chronically online lesbian's 9/11? Yeah she made that too. She literally reads my AU. the bar for freakiness in this fandom is on the fucking floor, dawg

But the reason I wanna talk about it is for the sake of other people who are following me, not just to satisfy this guy's weird hate-boner.

I'm sure that some people are seeing the stuff I'm getting sent and are scared to be more open about what they enjoy because they dont wanna deal with this kinda shit themselves. I have pretty thick skin at this point- after being online long enough you just have to- but not everyone is willing to take a pounding like that. I get it.

thing is, pretending to be "one of the good ones" is not gonna make those around you actually like you. They like the fake version of you, not the real you, and those kinda folks are not worth being around. it's best to rip off that band-aid sooner than later. In the moment it'll suck, but in the long run it's more than worth it. It's better to have a few ride-or-die friends than a large group of fair-weather friends. You may also find that there are folks out there who are more accepting and based than you think. I've certainly been surprised by a few!

the only people who send anon hate like this do it because something in their life sucks and they feel the need to take it out on others. ya ever notice that these type of people never show their face? it's cause they're scared. scared that they might actually have to step out on the front lines. scared they might have to get their hands dirty. By just just being out and open you've proven to be braver, bolder, and stronger than they will ever be.

Don't be afraid of losers in sunglasses. They aren't worth your fear.

[nickeverdeen]

Hi! Can i please have a matchup for arcane, and ATLA or TLOK? I go by she/her and im a lesbian

My personality: im super sarcastic and my humor mostly revolve around sarcasm and ironically, brainrot. Im generally prtty quiet but if im with people who are close with me i tend to tease them alot or be talkative (not glazing but people call me funny). But hormally im just a chill person who knows wayyy too much contexts (in most cases) and sometimes im pretty mischievous.....heh😈....(i used to cut classes and is a constant trouble maker back then).

My hobbies: i really REALLY like making art, painting, sketching, evrythang! I also did some journalism in the past so i write too (mostly poems), i also love dancing Hiphop and interpretative or folk dance, and lastly i love to read books, just classics though. My fave authors are oscar wilde, nikolai gogol, and jane austen.

About myself: im a pretty academic nerdy type of person, consistent honor student and ive tried a lot of things but never really followed through w it.....im pretty impatient and mostly i dont really care about things so that leads to me just shoving aside VERY important stuff😭😭 i love LOVE cats, i have like 2 of them and 2 kittens. My fashion sense really comes from my hiphop side and i dress mostly in a street wear type of fashion, if not grunge or acubi. I love burgundy or wine red, black, white, and green (yes christmas). Also i hate stupid STUPID people or those who dont care much about their education results, sorry ill actually laugh.

Appearance: i have short black hair (a similar haircut to santa barabara!Ellie) and bangs, with brown eyes and tan skin. Muscles are barely visiblel but its there, and im atleast above 5'9.

Im curious who best fits my personality and hobbies:)

Your Arcane match is…

Caitlyn Kiramman

Caitlyn would adore your sarcastic humor and teasing; she’d be right there to match wits with you, loving the challenge of keeping up with your mischievous side

She would love watching you create art

Whether you’re painting, sketching, or writing, Caitlyn would always be fascinated by your talent, often saying you bring color to her structured world

Both of you would stay up late, her telling you about her work as an Enforcer and you teasing her about being the “city’s golden girl,” which would always make her smile

Caitlyn, being disciplined and highly educated, would respect your academic side

She’d never let you forget the importance of following through with your ambitions and goals

Caitlyn would be eager to read some of your favorite classic literature with you

She’d love your perspective on authors like Wilde and Austen, and she’d enjoy discussing and debating different interpretations

Caitlyn would happily support your love for cats, even bringing them little gifts whenever she could

Seeing you light up around them would make her heart melt

Caitlyn would initially be awkward with dancing, but she’d love watching you dance hip-hop and folk styles

Eventually, she might join in for a few moves (awkward but trying) just to see you smile

Caitlyn would always admire your streetwear and grunge style

She’d often compliment you, especially when you wear burgundy or wine red, noting how it brings out your boldness

She’d take her Enforcer duties seriously, but she’d always check up on you, knowing that you can be a bit of a troublemaker

Caitlyn would find it adorable but would still remind you to be safe

Your ATLA match is

Mai

You and Mai would share a quiet, intense bond, often communicating more with glances and smirks than with words

She’d understand your sarcasm and wouldn’t need you to say much to get what you mean

Mai would secretly love watching you work on your art

She’d admire your creativity and would sometimes give you little insights into her own ideas and aesthetic, subtly inspiring you

Both of you would spend time together in comfortable silence, just chilling without needing to fill the air with conversation

She’d love the way you can both just be together

Your mischievous side would delight Mai, who’s secretly as sneaky as you are

You’d make an unspoken pact to find clever ways to make people laugh (or confuse them) without getting caught

Mai would respect your taste for classic literature

She’d find your collection interesting and would even borrow a book or two, asking about your thoughts on certain passages

Mai would encourage your academic side but would also playfully remind you to slow down and relax sometimes

She’d understand your impatience and would ground you when you need it

Mai would appreciate your grunge and streetwear style, noting how it aligns with her own dark aesthetic

The two of you would have similar tastes, often dressing in sync without even planning it

Mai would love your cats, often offering to look after them while you’re busy or leaving little treats around for them, showing a softer side of her rarely seen by others

While Mai isn’t one to outwardly cheer, she’d always subtly encourage your dancing and writing

She’d stand in the back during your dance practices or sit quietly while you read, fully present and supportive

Mai would meet your sarcasm with her own deadpan humor, creating a unique dynamic where you both could be yourselves without any filter

[yourlocalmechanism-dr-carmilla]

Name: Alice Liddell

Position: (former) scout captain

Side: rebels(former), Queen of hearts (current)

Status: deemed detrimental to the war effort, but now employed by her majesty, the queen of hearts

Relationship: the general(?) The tow have been seen spending quite alot of time together and seeming to be close…we also osberved that there was a.small bottle we couldnt get away from her..odd

Remarkable action: stabbing the Jabberwocky's eye out, aswell as a few victories on war and for being able to overwrite comsat chesires code, fighting for the queen of hearts with such aggression and strength

Timeline of events as documented:

-after pleading for mercy for the knave of hearts, she was brought away to receive her own punishment- becoming a servant for the queen of hearts.

-comsat chesire used her voice to receive more soldiers to keep the war going

-first, brainwash was in order- by replacing her eyes and also caring for her haur- bloodstains are rather fashionable and the new eyes add a good flair to them :)

-then od course it us about making her body as suited as possible with the limited respurces..the subjecr alice has shown resisitance and stubbornness, bt we amamged to break her eventually

-the result: a fierce, intimidating soldier, a good guard dog to our wonderful queen

-shes rather deadly with the blade and swift, although we do iften have to keeo her mediacted or even sedate her when she loses it

-but then .ine day,the subject tried to murder our queen and we relaized that she was unsuited to be a soldier and trialed her and passed the judgement ofdeathh-whuch was carried out

Cause of death: decapitation, executed by her majesty, the queen of hearts. It was followed through

[notes added by raphaella la cognizi and jonny d'ville]

We deceided to rescue this poor girl- or her body parts. Raphaella said we shoudl jsut take the brain out and vocal chords and throw the rest of her head away, shed make a new one. (Frankly she is abit scary). The reason wyh we take her allng is her affinity for VIOLENCE, how she deals the rifle and because its time for abit of fresh members here, ya know? And also because raohaella felt sorry for her and wanted to give her a second chance…which she got i guess…and raph says that she did some VERY fine work which we all agree on..and so fsr, aside from usual ptsd, panic attacks nightmares, mumbling how her mind is in ruins and all that jazz, shes a good additoon! We get along swimmingly, shootign witnesses and everyone else on our time-she loves ising her blue rifle which is called “Dinah” …funny eh? Well, we picked up some more of these wonderland folks..even tho i didkt agree too…but then the arguments between them, are rather entertaining….but sometikes i do feel…sorry for her. With her Amnesia and also her not talking about her past- well except to me..she admitted she killed her parents as they supported king cole..and her sister was uncaring..…burnt down the house…mustve fucked her up preeettty bad…and i get thst…so..i wanna protect her abit more…but dont let the pthers read that!

“There's no exit out of my ruined mind”

I once fought for a good cause, a rebel soldier through and through

My parents never understood, they rather supported a old tyrant- that was their doom

A library burns far too easily and it can be passed off as a accident, my sister was in the house too, i felt abit of regret, but had to focus on the war

Oh, my mind is a labyrinth thats in shambles,

I cant get out, i keep being mislead

Through the haze i see myself, fighting, bleeding, when will it stop?

Nothing yet everything makes sense here

And who even was I before i found myself here?

Although you must say, ive never fought in the original war, so to say- but i remembered bits of stories and aftermaths…grim and bloody…

And then, one day/ a standard flight, as i pick up a old signal

It leads me to a planet, that is encased in wartimes, no one wants a ceasefire or peace it seems, as if everyone would die when the war ends

Oh, my mind is a labyrinth thats in shambles,

I cant get out, i keep being mislead

Through the haze i see myself, fighting, bleeding, when will it stop?

Nothing yet everything makes sense here

And who even was I before i found myself here?

I cant fins anyone that has sense in their heads/ and there i am, pleading in the favour of the knave of hearts- i am unsuccessful as i am being dragged away

The trial isnt fair of course and what follows is my eyes being replaced- a start to turn me into a guard dog for her majesty

Syringes, medicine and brainwash are the tools they use to shape me, drug me so i dont act up

Oh, my mind is a labyrinth thats in shambles,

I cant get out, i keep being mislead

Through the haze i see myself, fighting, bleeding, when will it stop?

Nothing yet everything makes sense here

And who even was I before i found myself here?

But then, i break through! Getting back at her, almost killing her like i did so many others in her name- i fail! My trial again is swiftly over and then, i kneel infront Of her, one last insult is hurled at her, before she slices my head off clean. Youd think death brings peace, but now- it brought fury and pain up inside of me, oh how loathesome!

And then i wake up..alive…feeling different….amnesia prevents me from knowing little more than my name…and a few locked away memories i shant tell…

Oh, my mind is a labyrinth thats in shambles,

I cant get out, i keep being mislead

Through the haze i see myself, fighting, bleeding, when will it stop?

Nothing yet everything makes sense here

And who even was I before i found myself here?

Speaking of alice..my version of her plus a song :3

[i-luv-carl-grimes]

𝔅𝔩𝔞𝔠𝔨 𝔬𝔲𝔱 𝔡𝔞𝔶𝔰

S1 Ep5

Stars

Warning: abuse, language and lots of valance as well as gore if you are younger then 14 please don't read

************************************************

Even though everyone was trying to hide themselves from the rain I still sat in the same place having the summer rain come down drenching me that peace didnt last long though, just a few minutes. "Alright Rayne go change your clothes your all wet and covered in dirt," Lori said and I nodded

She lead me into hers and Carl's tent then handed me my other outfit (purple shirt one) and I quickly changed not letting my gun leave my sight, I walked out and Lori took my clothes. "I'll put them with Carl's laundry," she said and I nodded.  "Here kid," Daryl said and threw a gun holster at me, it was brown and a bit scuffed I nodded and put it around my waist, it was lose and hung off my hip but whatever, I put my gun in the holster when Carl walked over to me,  "mom never lets me touch a knife let alone a gun, you still haven't told me how old you are" he said and once again for the 15 millionth time handed me that stupid note pad.  'It's not important, you're not gonna know me for long' I handed it to him and his smile faded.  "More talk about leaving, you have a good chance here and you're just a kid there's no way you could live on your own!" he said each word that came out made me cringe.  'watch me' he let out, and annoyed sigh. "please? just for a little while" he said, 'your people dont need another mouth to feed,'. "what if your family comes back?" he said and his words ran through my head. "Carl I think that's enough give her some space," Lori said but Carl didn't listen. "you know, I still think my dads out there" he started but I sat up and stomped away.

if I stay quiet it'll go away.

Carl's pov:

did I say something wrong? "Carl hair cut get over here!" my mom yelled and I groaned I hated getting my hair cut, it was so annoying, but mom never let me grow it out, unfair right? "you know if you didn't move so much this would be easier," my mom said as she harshly moved my head back in place. "you know what really sucks? when you start shaving then you be wishin' for one of you mamas hair cuts," Shane said. "ill believe it when I see it," I said and he let out an airy laugh. "I'll tell you what, you get through this with some manly dignity, and tomorrow I will teach you somethin' special, I'll teach you to catch frogs, and trust me that is not something to be takin' lightly I'm willin' to share my secrets its a one time offer," he said. "why do we need frog?" I asked. "ever eat a frog leg?" he asked. "eww!" I replied. "he's right ew," mom said. "we get down on the last of that girls supplies you'll be lovin' those frog legs, lady, dont listen to her man, me and you we'll be heroes man feeding all these folks you and me Shane an-" "can Rayne come too?" I asked cutting him off but my question was left unanswered as the sound of an alarm went off in the distance.

Rayne's pov:

I was walking back to camp when I heard an alarm go off, that walk turned into a run, I knew something bad was going to happen when I got back to camp I seen everyone hugging with people I had never seen before, I looked at Carl and saw that he was crying then, a middle-aged man with curly hair walked out. "dad!" Carl screamed and ran over to him Lori followed as they all sobbed in each other's arms. everyone watched with the people they loved, while I just stood there alone. I looked down trying to hide the tear that had fallen from my cheek, I'm still so weak

-

it was night and everyone was sitting around the campfire, except me, I didn't want them to see me as a part of there group, after all, I wasn't, sure it was cold but I can handle worse. Ed and Shane started arguing about shit I would care less about, one thing I did know was that I didn't like Ed, that look he had, it was the look that my father would give before hitting me, or even just beating me, the look of complete disregard of what you're doing. it was probably the same look I gave my sister...before it was over.

-

everyone was settling down for the night, except me I was still outside sitting on top of Dale's Rv looking at the stars when a heard a shuffle and someone climbing up the later I gripped my knife just to see 2 familiar baby blue eyes I sighed and turned back around he then sat down next to me. "mom said you should get some rest" he said then like ALWAYS handed me that stupid notepad. 'ok' I handed it back to him. "please?" he pushed. 'what do you want from me? can't you just leave me alone,' I watched the way his face dropped and for some odd reason it hurt I then took the notepad. 'i'm 9' i wrote answering his question from earlier, I saw his smile come back. "I'm 10," he said then got up and walked down the ladder and back to his tent.

soon after I got up and walked to their tent the only thought on my mind was. 'did I just trust that kid with my age...he's just gonna die, save yourself the trouble'

I walked in and Lori pointed to a spot next to a sleeping Carl.

I didn't sleep that well, every time I closed my eyes the image of my family appeared in my head, but hopefully tonight will be the night I don't wake up from

[pasharuu]

welps, since i got a little skrunkling in form of ararycan, lets talk about him. i hope it'll be a short one. (spoiler: no)

also to those who bumped onto my post in their or someone else's dash somehow: english is not my first language. so be ready for numerous "memories" and "forget" cuz my vocabulary is thin just like that. and some other weirdness of course.

first of all, i hate the dottore clone theory with every single cell in my body, and i want you to know that if you like it i dont care, so neither should you care about me hating it. im only speaking opinion here.

and also this is rather my headcanon just not to stay alongside with the mystery while theres a dottore theory around. i honestly dont believe in dottore theory, but i still cant prove it wrong properly due to lack of info, and that annoys me. but this headcanon doesnt attempt to debunk the theory somehow, these are just two completely different things not worth comparing.

but rlly, did anyone on that planet at least once look at ararycan's leaves more than once? cuz it feels like no one knows what is the form of the pattern. the theory followers say these are circles, on my plush these are rounded diamons. wtf dear fellow folks.

the headcanon is trying to explain ararycan's memory loss, as there is no information about this in the game. traveler and paimon just decide that "welp, aranara are forgetful sometimes" though its not really true, but its really odd of them to leave us on this cliffhanger. i once said that aranara never forget stuff unless they meet some certain condition. i didnt explain that well last time so lemme speak a word (although its gonna be long i fear, so once again, the orange text is not necessary)

in the beginning we were given with the idea that aranara dont forget anything, or at least dont forget anything as easily as we do. this was really the very first fact i learned about them since i found messily written notes very soon after i began my first walkthrough of aranyaka (funfact: in russian localization its not clear who is the author of these if you only see the first set of it, and i definitely remember that i was not able to read the next page at a place, so i bet i found it even before meeting arama in the very first time. i also found it in the second time only after completing the entire questline so imagine my face at that moment), and author of the notes says that he doesnt forget things easily, but still decides to make records because its fun to do. basically saying that these lads dont ever need to record things up cuz they remember it all by themselves.

then, during the part where we help guys in mawtiyima forest, we were told about the inscriptions on the walls. aragaru says that these are made only for humans, because aranara will not forget, while people have all the possibility to. all the other inscriptions on walls, if we keep the spoken idea in mind, are clearly made for humans as well. the only weirdness in this part is inscriptions in old vanarana, cuz the only one who needs these during the quest is arama, and its not really clear who these were written to in the first place. but we still cant say these were definitely written for aranara, or maybe i need to research more.

the events of agnihatora sutra and vimana agama are the ones that made people think that aranara are forgetful. the second one is the mystery we are trying to solve in this article, but the first one told you everything you need, but its absolutely understandable if you didnt get it in the first time (neither did i if u wonder). in agnihatora sutra the three are aware that the thing theyre going to commit is gonna make them forget everything, so they were hinting it for us carefully, yet not saying directly that they will forget us. in the very end of this questline they tell us about the sacrifice they're going to commit, and that sacrifice is actually their memories, even though its not shown on screen, unlike the sacrifice of arana's memories to get the bija. that is why we were later told that these guys dont emember us while everyone else do.

also there's the fact araja troubles to remember the events of the past, but this dude actually grew into a tree, and just like i said in the cinnamon arama article, that might be the reason of his memory loss. araja also didnt forget everything that he had expirienced before he became a tree, as sometimes he still recalls to some things as his own memories.

after all, aranara gain actual power with memories and it would be weird if you'd randomly forget stuff and lose yo power just like that. they cherish memories more than anything, either these are good or bad, and the idea of forgetting is terrifying to them (the most memorable to me was the moment when arama complained about alcohol cuz it makes people forget stuff. paimon said that sometimes there are things people want to forget, but arama was still negative about that). well, actually there is a thing they cherish more. this thing is called "friendship", and the idea is that even if you forget something, there will be friends who'll remind you, so thats why they are more dear to aranara, even more than the memories. this is as well the idea of "the forest will remember" thing, cuz aranara are friends to all the plants, animals, some humans and each other, so theres just no possibility for the entire forest (all of these things) to forget something. but that still doesnt remove the importance of memories cuz these are power and these are memories, it'll take a lot of time to gain them back, so losing them is only worth when its absolutely necessary. also remember that stories and memories are not the same, so just summarizing things up to someone wont work.

and that concludes my orange explaination, now back to vimana agama mystery!!!!

so my take is that ararycan mustve sacrificed his memories for something. if we'll try to recreate the chronological order of the events of the past, we'll see that aralohita, who possibly was some sort of a buddy to ararycan, disappears after ararycan lost his memories. or if he lost part of them, its possible that aralohita disappeared prior to that. both versions explain why ararycan still remembers the solution to aralohita's riddles.

ararycan once says that he was the one who brought the ruin golem part into the secret cave, but for now he doesnt seem to be as strong, he rather acts like a very brave weakling. as we know, aranara gain power with memories, so no wonder ararycan is a weakling now, not remembering everything. but still, his awareness about some things looking familiar makes me think that he might have lost part of his memories, but how come?

we know that ararycan most likely was the third one alongside royinjan and amadhiah in the past, so all the vamadhas, including the one that was sealing the secret base, most likely were set after the childhood of the two, which means that might happened not too long ago. that might line up with a fact that pir kavikavus accident happened around the same time, because vamadhas were obviously set for reason. i recall ararycan saying that vamadhas are set when aranara dont want nara to enter some certain places, but says that he doesnt know who set these. so i think that actually could be ararycan, but since he lost his memories, no wonder he doesnt remember about it. and so uh, setting these could be resulted in memory loss as it might take some power. he probably did know that amiti device might be used for no good by some foes, so vamadhas are only set in places that either have amiti device fragments in them or places related to it somehow (and nowhere else, by the way, so vamadha is for sure some kind of ararakalari that both ararycan and aralohita used to wield). we can see the direct memory loss from using ararakalari in case of arama, when the one hit one of ruin guards really hard and returned back to goofy. we dont know how the memories amount needed to do some action is measured, but if we connect the dots, it all seems possible.

the only question left is why the heck did ararycan move the detail into the cave and the answer is i dont know. it was def moved before the cave was sealed since roy (seemingly) confirms this place not changing at all since he was a kid, and probably even before the kids found this cave because otherwise someone said something like "dude, i recall this place empty, but then somehow this huge detail appeared here, no clue how tho i dont remember". but why did ararycan move it there is forever a mystery it seems, unless aralohita is confirmed to be his accompany most of the time and prolly found alive ofc. aralohita might say something about it in that case, unless he forgot everything as well. but its all just my silly wishes.

also arama, while summarizing the places we shall visit, says that ararycan may know something about the sus person we were looking for. ararycan later confirms he used to help kids in vimara village cuz arana asked him, but thats all he says, none of details were thrown after that. his wording that marana avatar is capable of the trouble feels weird, but marana avatar to aranara is many things, not only the actual marana avatar, so he could be calling fatui like that. i now think that ararycan could possibly help us with finding out who the sus person is but for whatever reason it was cut down by his own troubling.

and i know that at this moment it feels like im just coping but idc. once again, my speculations have nothing to do with the dottore clone theory, its just a thing im rather comfortable with. fact of the day: dottore is my least favorite character in the entire genshin impact (among some that are somehow major) and i'll be quite disappointed if my precious ararycan turns out to be his clone or creation or whatever. i wont argue with it, i'll only throw, tear and murder.

and that concludes my tractate. it took me the whole day to put in words and i feel empty rn, especially since i dont know many words, and if you ever ask me why am i speaking english if i could just use my first language - none of your business. if u ask me why i made this tractate - none of your business. till the next time.

[ikilledamanforthisurl]

Minami anon x5 YEAH FOR REAL to everything….. The way Majima treats his men is very. Hrm. I saw a good essay about it before regarding how Majima after going through the abuse he's faced only Knows / understands how to project that same sentiment with the most obvious example being Nishida who has almost like a looney tunes esque dynamic with him. And how that later goes on to talk about Majima associating Minami who is extremely clearly trying to emulate him with Sagawa + Shimano which led to like the disconnect in their relationship. Idk if ive tldlred that very well but yeah. It was very Majima centric though which makes me wish it talked abt more how Minami views the situation because again I do very much think it’s just a case of Minami wanted to do Somebody and he ultra latched onto the first person he saw that was That. Very like duckling following the leader. He most likely has no idea what the hell baggage Majima has and just continues viewing this act he's put on in such a glamourised revered light. The Cycle Of hell continues and continues forever. I feel like you could even make an argument Abt the like never wanting to accept defeat thing as another emulation of Majima who like very famously Just Keeps Trucking Along and Never Lets Up. Also so real about the tidbit abt the junior leader like it really just feels like something they made up out of the blue but it’s fine it’s just his now……. I agree that Minami very much does not give me like patriarch vibes I feel like nothing about him screams a person who wants to *the* most important- Its why I word it as like Minami wants to be SOMEBODY, but not the somebody who has all of the responsibilities and the stress that comes with being in the super hardcore major leagues- again, going back, a very sort of Immature or Young person kind of attitude to have. Also okay I thought it was both kinda hilarious and sad How the guys in the karaoke scene didnt want to be there 😭😭😭 really just feels like they were Dragged along because “why not” / because Minami is seemingly more carefree about things. I'd love to see him interact w just like the normal ppl of kamurocho or if he like worked at the construction site with his fellow coworkers like are they immediately put off or find him annoyingly pleasant enough. Idk if i have anythin to say abt it but i also LOVE ur tags and the idea of Minami putting himself through hell willingly to be as strong as majima garghghgghghg….. also its okay if ur actually sick for real like w a cold I hope u get better soon !!! Ironically i also have a minor cold so JWJJDJDEJ

we are so back......... you and me anon... we are both sick in the exact same ways (brainrot included)

I looooove the terrible recycling dynamic of abuse from Majima to his men and that sounds really evil but i mean like. its an extremely interesting and Real Thing to portray (completely on accident!) and explore. and i can't even act like i'd be better if i were him sometimes. i know damn well his boys are incompetent (everyone on earth is) and/or pains in the ass (definitely Aratani, probably Minami, but he dont mean it) and physical violence is part of their way of life in this fictionalised mega-gang. in a twisted way violence is more than just that, it's the solution to everything, it's the crux of everything, it's care for those who need to be able to stick up for themselves to survive and it's also a burden by way of Fighting Game Protagonist Syndrome. at the end of the day the abuse is still abuse, but you see some interesting perspectives with this kind of framework in that world..... including folks who'd enthusiastically participate in the looney-tunes Slapsticked role, like my take on Minami. Nishida too, but i don't think he's enthusiastic, just begrudgingly accepting of things...

i know the EXACT post youre talking about and i completely understand being Majima-focused in these kinds of rants cause he's the one with all the interesting shit going on and yknow. canonical character depth...... i try my best to not get sidetracked but Majima intrigues me as much as the people around him.... they made him and his relationships both fun and fascinating. to keep it Minami ways you'd probably be saying some real no-shit-sherlock shit "wow that's so tragic for him" or you'd get into HC and made up shit territory, like me ^_^ teehee

Speaking of Aratani, i think he's a good example of someone who actually wants the patriarch seat. the pursuit of power is like his whole deal. Gets considerable focus and text(dialogue) acknowledgement. Minami's whole deal is being goofy, he just also so happens to have considerable power both physically and in the yakuza hierarchy..... bullshit as his role may very well be......... and it's only barely noticed. the pros of being a joke i spose. he's treated, and acts, too nonchalant to give me the impression of gunning for the top. with the existence of other Majimagumi men like Aratani to compare, that just exasperates it for me. he wants to be cool, and that's all

and yknow what..... the fun thing is...... is that Majima gets stories told about him. they get told all over. so much so that resident under-rock-dweller Kiryu hears about them. Minami doesn't know shit from fuck about his boss but i bet he eats those stories the fuck up. true or not, Majima's prowess speaks volumes on it's own... he's the Boss for a Reason..... stories get told about people who Matter. he'd totally be all over that. Wanna Be Somebodyism is terminal and it's got him by the balls. too bad he's not destined to be anybody more than a side character in this series!

oh well..... that's what i'm here for. side characters come get your heads smacked hands kissed and existence acknowledged, possibly all three if you're silly enough

[providencestrashcastle]

Im assuming some of its spam but evry time i get an ask for donations it hurts cause i dont have a far reach to spread anything and the few folks following me who have money to donate already are doing so as much as they can and i dont have anything i can give. Im unemployed. Im trying to get disability benefits. I am 100% dependant on my fiances income to covers all bills at this time. I have nothing to give but it feels like shit seeing people suffer and not being able to do anything about it even if my tumblr is supposed to be my space away from a lot of the bad in the world and simply existing on any given soc med doesnt mean i have to inundate myself with things im powerless about but it sure feels like it some times. That by virtue of being a person living in whats considered a 1st world country not engaging with the myriad disasters, human rights violations, humanitarian disasters and everything else means im overly privileged and that its criminal to not engage.

I turned reblogs off cause i dont wanna even risk this escaping containment because i dont want it being taken as i dont care. I do care. I care so much that ive made myself sick with anxiety about multiple problems and tied myself into knots over what is and isnt ok to consume or appreciate or play or like and its so tiring and stressful and sometimes it feels the world is so terrible on both the micro and macro scale that death would be a mercy if only to escape the crushing dread that chokes me every time i spend more then a few minutes focused on it

This rant has no real end point or proper conclusion its just me getting these emotions out of me so they dont consume me since above all this blog is my space

[bearplants]

hii

i won't give out a name to use for me (not sorry!) just refer to me via my username (or "bear" or "plant/s")

i use it/its pronouns ONLY.

i am aromantic

i am gay

i am agender

i am a man ("men dni" blogs... go elsewhere maybe)

i block radical feminists when i see them. this includes if you are a TERF (trans-exclusionary radfem), a TIRF (trans-inclusive radfem), or a TRF (transradfem). if it looks like a radfem, if it quacks like a radfem... its a radfem

i also block people who are openly, blatantly, and/or consciously antisemetic and hateful, as well as people who are openly racist, classist, misogynistic, and more. If you don't know why I have you blocked (why do you care?) then it's probably something you said that rubbed me the wrong way, so to speak.

some of my interests include: plants, sonic the hedgehog (dunno if i'll post/reblog much about it though), vocaloid (dunno if i'll post/reblog much about this either), kink, and sex (i am autistic about sex and kink. every day i crave the touch of another and i read how-to articles decently often) (i dont reblog or post much about it :) )

i try to be nice and kind, but i also know that i can come off as strange or even mean. sorry in advance!!

before you follow below the cut (i rambled a little bit, sorry!!!):

i support palestinians and am against the state of israel and it's horrific actions towards the palestinian people (it's genocide. if you dont think it's genocide then leave, please. or if you feel that the state of israel-- how it is now-- has a "right to exist" please leave. it seems to me that israel's existence currently necessitates settler-colonialism of at least some degree, which I am NOT okay with.

all of this being said, I don't doubt at all that Jewish folks are native/indigenous to that area and I won't try to argue otherwise. I just don't think establishing a whole other country over top of a pre-existing country already full of culture and people doesn't really need to happen. ultimately I have very little actual stakes in the situation so my perspective is lacking nuance and... well, perspective, but it does seem to me that Israel as a concept is currently being used to justify a genocide and force people away from their homes. Block me if you have a problem with this, I won't mind :) )

i cannot donate any money to any crowdfunding things right now, so please don't ask me to do so. I am saving money to move out of Texas ASAP and for transitioning stuff (HRT, name changes... stuff like that). It will take a good chunk of change to make it happen, but I believe in myself

i do believe in* transandrophobia/transmisandry and the like

i also believe in* transmisogyny and support transfem folks

i believe in* exorsexism, even if i have much to unlearn wrt that as a not-non-binary trans person

i support all good-faith identities

i believe in* intersexism and support intersex folks as best i can

i am against TME/TMA language

i support "proshipping" (even if i don't participate in shipping discourse) and am against censorship

that's all from me. thanks for reading this far!! i appreciate it. have a nice day ~~

*i am not sure how else to explain that i believe that trans and/or genderqueer and/or intersex people experience discrimination on the basis of our genders (cuz, you know, that's a huge part of what being trans and/or genderqueer and/or intersex is for most of us) and that i dont see any issue with using terms like transmisogyny or transandrophobia or exorsexism or intersexism to discuss them

i feel like saying i "believe in" these concepts is clunky and silly but again, i'm not sure how else to get the idea across. sorry

[unreadpoppy]

Poppy's handy guide to fic commenting - by a fic author who struggles with IRL social anxiety

If you follow me, you've probably seen me talking about people leaving comments on fics.

I try not to sound like a broken record about it so to keep it simple: me like comments. Comments help my self depricating ass believe i'm actually good at this. Comments give me dopamine boost. Dopamine boost gives me enough energy to write more fic.

And also, the reason I like leaving and receiving comments it's because it gives me a real sense of connection. A sense of builduing community with other people.

But, I know that commenting can be very intimidating for a lot of folks. There's a lot of people that talk about 'idk what to say' 'what if the author doesn't like it' and I decided to write this little post to help people who maybe want to leave more comments but are apprehensive about it.

And trust me, I know that it can be hard. I got social anxiety and it took me a long time to figure out commenting, but the truth is, most authors will appreciate your comments, regardless of what you say (as long as you're not been an asshat).

So, here's some stuff to help you put organize your thoughts into a nice little comment. Also, I'm gonna type some examples that are slighlty based on real comments I've left on fic, but remember, you can write stuff however you like.

Method 1: Specifics.

Many times when I'm reading a fic, I'll like a very specific scene, or how the author handled a certain subject. Maybe it's the characters dynamic, or maybe just one phrase that completely broke me. Regardless, this is a type of comment where you're gonna focus on that one specific thing you really liked.

If it's a line that you liked, you could quote that line again and add how it made you feel.

Ex.: "In a world where you wouldn't choose me, i'd still choose you" OOF that line BROKE ME/ made me cry

If it's a scene, you could lightly described it.

Ex.: Oh my god, the part where he took her hand and comforted her??? amazing

You could even just copy paste the whole scene you liked and add your own little commentary on it, giving your insight on to what you interpreted (which is something that i've received as comments in the past!)

I like these types of comments because you can go in depth on something you particularly enjoyed a lot, or you can just easily and in a very short manner show a detail you liked. To me, it shows me that whoever wrote the comment was paying attention to the fic and I can see what they really liked about it.

Method 2: Overall

So this is the opposite of the specifics. Maybe the whole fic was just so good, you struggle with poiting out just one thing you loved. In my opinion, the best way to tackle this looks something like this:

Ex.: I love this fic/chapter! The character dynamic, the descriptions, the dialogue, everything was just soooo good!

Ex.: Aaaaa this chapter/fic was amazing, I loved every single part of it!

You can point out a few key elements but you dont have to go into much detail, showing that everything was truly stellar, or you can just go the compliment route . I like these comments because they are short and very sweet, and they give me a lil warm feeling. They're like the little boost that comes in handy.

Method 3: The Simple Ones

These are even shorter but just as sweet. Maybe you loved the fic but can't articulate well. Don't let that stop you from commenting! These will make a writer just as happy because you cared enough to leave something. These comments come in various types.

Like the keysmash

Ex.: Ç0ERHMJ´2¢JIOÇRFNJRKJE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

(which can be interpreted as crying screaming throwing up)

The two words:

Ex.: Lovely chapter!

Ex.: Loved this!

Ex.: Amazing work

These are very good at getting the point across that you liked what you read.

Now, remember that when commenting you can go as long or as short as you want. You can give a page lenght in depth analysis on to why this fic is the best work of fiction you ever read or just a simple heart emoji to show the author that you care.

I think the best way to think about commenting is that it doesn't have to be this big thing. Imagine you're just...texting a friend, about something you liked. You can be a little unhinged. Authors are social animals and we crave connection (and also to be able to talk to otherd about our work) and comments are a great way to do that. Like, I guarantee, I try to reply to most if not all comments I get, because I do genuinly want to talk to people about this thing I poured my heart into writing.

So yeah, I hope this helps you guys, and may we comment even more in 2024.

[psychelis-new]

sometimes i dont know how we are expected to enjoy something in this economy or in modern society where people seem to only really care if its about a rich person or someone whos popular or pretty and attractive. for instance if celeb passes away its such a huge deal but if its one of us it doesnt matter so much cause we dont matter or only a few handful of people would miss us compared to a celeb. or that society is so much about what someone does and how much they make from it that i feel soulless like theres so many folk who say do something bc it make u money not bc it make u happy.

im really conflicted nowadays and i dont like the state my country is in, it doesnt care about it citizens but it care more about the royals than anyone else every tome w royal member breaths they get free press but any time someome normal does something it never gets the same reception. as i said i dont think it matters anymore who does or doesnt live a long life bc it only matters what they did as a person or how society is constantly about having a following or likes comments and subscribes or is it the fact that screens are being used everywhere?

honestly i think this is the worst version of society. i dont want to have to chase people only for them to barely give effort in return but thats what i feel like i have to do bc society has its cliques online and offline. i hope this rant makes some sense and thank you v much for letting me rant!

Hello dear :) Well, there's a lot here...

Despite I understand what you mean, it's also about statistics: famous people are known by far more people than "common" (let me use this adjective, even if it's not right) people, so it's obviously natural that more people can be aware of their existence and cry over one of them passing away compared to one person known only by 20-30 people or less: famous people have the chance to "keep in touch" with/be seen by many people at the same time through what they do, cause all they do has a resonance caused by the ability they have to move markets and create capitals as well (mostly because of "common" people being so invested in them, js). For this reasons their lives are under the lenses of the world: not that good in the end, as their privacy is basically non-existant; they're supposed to share everything about them, cause people wants to know everything about them and compare their lives to the ones of those famous people: if they go through lows, "common" people may feel better about themselves, or see famous as more "normal"; in the best case we just can get inspired by famous people (maybe they made a dream come true and so we hope to be able to do the same somehow). It's very tough cause it's not just about love, but they get also hated and envied far more easily and by far more people than "common" people: again it's about statistics.

The thing to keep in mind here imo is: it's not about quantity, but quality. One can be loved by the whole world but it doesn't mean everyone will remember them forever (and also, it depends on how and why they will: it's not always for something positive or good). Focus on you and your own personal relationships, on making them good enough so that even if just one person will care about and remember you, it will be more than enough cause it will be for the right reason. And that's what matters in the end (imo, ofc).

Life these days is easily influenced by fake lives we see online through social medias: all is buildt up so that it can look amazing (think photographs and AI as well). Many people (not just influencers) try to avoid sharing the "bad" part but only focus on the good and so the idea that everything must be perfect to be good and there's no way one can go through lows in life is something that is playing with the mind of many, making them think their lives are just terrible because they cannot make it good or make enough money (what is enough even? Everything costs more and more, so the fear of running out of money may make people fear living in poverty and need to make more money: no matter if they aren't happy as long as they're safe -it's about the root chakra yk-. For example esp. in the Southern area of my country, not having a secure job is unsafe for many elders, they may push their children to work in State's offices even if they don't want to, so that they will be sure they'll get paid all the months). All this is just adding a stress that is totally unnecessary: as you're noticing, not feeling supported in our choices by those in an "authority spot" (be it family or state letting us down more or less figuratively) is not going to help us find happiness or even wealth (what one can consider it made of). And seeing other making it (famous people for instance), may make us envious of them. Resentful even.

I don't think there's someone living the perfect life, we all go through bad stuff, it's just a matter of how we decide to deal with it and how much we share. Many pretend it's not real and try to forget about it by focusing on whatever else, and even on other people (=famous people) but it doesn't work in the end: fake positivity or avoiding negativity never solved any problem. But this is where famous people come in: seeing good/positive posts and being pushed to believe that something good can be (as it will), or even just being comforted by someone we admire can be of help for those going through a bad moment. On the other side, by showing the best side of stuff, some influencers (eg.) may try to convince us to interact with them also to know more about them or to see if their life are really better and how we can be like them... but they mostly do that to gain something. We're still talking about a job (social media in particular, but remember every famous person also generally gains from their appearances and image): followers and interactions of any type with an account, help them reach certain numbers in the algorythm of that specific social media, get viral or become famous/known enough so that they can start collaborations and gain more. And live (they try to make money as well as anyone else: ofc it depends what idea we have of how they make money and how much we know of it). This too has lows ofc, as everything, but we may not always know about them unless the person wants to share about it.

What I mean is: yes society has f-up rules and ideas, it's pretty much corrupted, but it's not famous people the real problem imo. Maybe "common" people just find in them a way to escape their reality (be it for the best or the worst, to send love or hate; maybe they just project, find comfort, avoidance... whatever other need they have unmet), as I was saying. Maybe they just find online (reels/tiktok in particular, fast and entertaining stuff for a life that goes fast and people's decreasing attention span caused by generally feeling low and not being able to keep up with that pace and ending up alone/left out ig) the entertainment they need to unwind and that they cannot find in their lives: they need to look outside, to not think about themselves. I think that until we look at what goes on outside instead of inside (whether it's to find validation or support or whatever else we need and were never given), there's not much that we can change in our lives. I am not demonzing famous people by any means (nor juding "common" people's behaviours): it's part of their job to be there and act as a trigger (at times) for others, but that's not always a pleasant job in the end: what I mean is, maybe we don't have to blame them for what is going on as their lives have pros but also many many cons we need to consider, understand and respect. In their place many people may not be able to deal with the stress and all and give up easily (don't wanna talk about the many famous people giving in to various addictions because of this).

But if you feel like because of society you need to act in a certain way to be accepted and you need to accept crumbs in your relationships, then that's wrong imo. You are free, don't let society cage you into unreasonable rules. You can make your own rules: you may feel alone at first, but you're not going to be forever. There are other people like you. You deserve much more than crumbs and you deserve to at least try to live the life you dream of living. Try to stop for a moment and realize what is this confusion you're experiencing really about. What do you see in the way famous people are treated and what you make it mean of you in comparison (despite I generally don't suggest to compare with others for this but ...yeah)? Do you feel not enough? Do you feel rejected? Underappreciated? Not seen? Idk... Do you really know what you want for yourself and how to get it? If not, start from the basic, see what you really want and need, and work to obtain it. Whatever goes on around you.

Not sure if I said all I wanted to say but I guess I touched the main points at least... Take care<3