#I don't want to talk to anyone BRO god could come to me and be like I can make you fuck Hugh Jackman and I'd tell him to go fuck himself

[aromanticannibal]

I HATE school

[mintaikk]

Shadowpeach Things I think about A Lot

Note: My knowledge of season 5 is very limited (only seen first 2 eps, and some spoilers). Do not say any spoilers in comments or reblogs. If you want to avoid spoilers completely, I suggest you don't read this

-Peng said it themselves. "Could Wukong do anything that could break his hold over you?" or something like that. But Macaque's entire world was Wukong

-Macaque's dream was spending a peaceful forever with Wukong

-"You were a villain like 5 minutes ago!" Nothing there, but this was when they were having that screaming match and I burst out laughing when I realized that's what Wukong said. He was tho. From s4 to s5, bro went from trying to kill him to living on his mountain again

-Oh, that. "This room(?) has been my home just as long as yours." That's true, but my guy, don't you have like a dojo or smthn? Can't you just live there? Or do you just secretly miss Wukong and want to live on FFM to be closer with him?

-AND WUKONG DOESNT FIGHT BACK EITHER OR ANYTHING. He just sighs and accepts it

-OH YEAH THAT. Macaque sleeps on the same GOD DAMN tree that he and Wukong used to sit at. There are so, so, so many trees on FFM, yet he chose that specific one

-Wukong wanted to spend the remainder of his life holding hands with Macaque

-Correct me if I'm wrong, but in old China, a man giving another man a peach was a sign that they felt romantic love for them. Wukong and Macaque's hole thing is peaches

-"Yeah, because you always eush to my rescue." Wukong believed that Macaque never saved him, but from what we seen in s5, he does. Maybe he always has and Wukong's just never noticed, or maybe Macaque took that to heart and is trying to make up for it

-THE GOD DAMN SLOMO SHOT WHEN WUKONG WAS GOING TO SAVE MK

-Macaque calling Wukong "cute" in the s4 special

-When we first see the ink demons of Wukong's past, one of them was Macaque chained up while struggling and crying. Whatever happened there, it still haunts Wukong

-"I don't trust anyone that isn't standing here right now." WUKONG STILL TRUSTS MACAQUE AFTER EVERYTHING, MACAQUE EVEN PERKS UP AT THAT. And right after this scene, Macaque sacrifices himself to save Wukong. I think Wukong saying that really stuck with him. Maybe that's why he was a lot more helpful this season; Wukong still trusted him, and he didn't want to lose that

-When Wukong was getting the circlet put on him for a second time, Macaque didn't even hesitate when he saw that Wukong was in pain and immediately sprung to help

-Ik it's been talked about before, but the fact that Macaque thinks Wukong killed (and that he was about to again in season 3 when he was literally choking him) him but he still helps him when he can and smiles softly at him and goes out of his way to see him and stares in awe when he sees him coming to help MK and still accepts his peach offer (symbolism for rekindling friendship) and smiles when Wukong says "we" instead of "I" and gets sad when he sees the memory and realizes he wants to rekindle their relationship and crashes a beach party just so he could be with him (Copy and pasted from old post

-This specific art piece that Alejandro Saab commissioned and used for autograph signings

-Macaque literally looking away and smiling in this shot bro looks like a schoolgirl with a crush 💀

-Wukong was shown to help Macaque tie his scarf when they were still friends and in the shots of their past, Macaque's scarf is always tied. But now that they're not friends, his scarf is never tied. I just find this detail neat

-As much as Macaque tried to kill Wukong between s1 and s3, the moment Wukong was genuinely mad at him, Macaque's first instinct was to run. Even when Wukong was holding him, he was still shaking Yes, he probably couldn't breathe bcuz choking, but these guys are immortal and with the whole thing underwater, I don't think they actually need to breathe. So this means that he was probably terrified the entire time, and thinking that Wukong would kill him again (I fucking hate doomed yaoi)

-Now that I think about it, the only time we see Macaque scared was with LBD, Sun Wukong attacking him, Sun Wukong getting attacked or being endanger, MK being endangered, Bai He being endangered, or actually having to deal with the idea of staying with Wukong to help him (s4, MK going on that whole "I gotta help my friends" speech while Mei is being consumed by the Samahdi fire). Most of those things are Wukong and Monkey fam related

-Alejandro Saab doing a cover of peaches. Istg, he KNEW what he was doing when he pulled that one

-Correct me if I'm wrong again, but apparently, some gay men in ancient China would become sworn brothers so they could be together legally. Other than Shadowpeach, I was never much a brotherhood shipper, but do what you will with this info

-ALEJANDRO SAAB BELIEVES THAT MACAQUE IS SHORTER THAN WUKONG! THE DEBATE IS OVER YALL

-"Forever is a long time, bud." "Me and you just living here get on fat on fruit forever!" Bro was definetly thinking of Macaque

[icarusredwings]

I rewatched Deadpool 2 and took notes.

Disclaimer: He's mentally ill and does mentally ill things (GASP, who would have thought?). Also, violence. A lot of violence. It's really long. Like.. really really long.

The very first words he says is "fuck wolverine"

Then blows his own head off with a shit ton of gasoline. Wonder if he had insurance on that appartment.

He started taking worldwide cases

He also admits to knowing "8th grade spanish"

"Passion of the christ. Then me." Says the man whos marvel jesus now.

I wonder how much wade owes cab guy.

Cab guy killed bandu Lmao

"What is it?"

"My IUD"

"A bomb??" Tell me why he was lowkey excited for it to be a bomb?

I love how serious he gets talking about how scared he is to be a dad.

This empire joke traveled from the first movie too.

"Pretty sure it doesn't work that way but we can try" yes.

When making toaster strudles its almost as if he could sense them coming despite it being so silent. This kind of makes me think that Logans not the only one who just jumps up sometimes.

This man really just said "Fuck it" jumped out of a 2 story window, BOLTED after this guy as fast as he could, got hit by a car, rammed another car, and whole ass hugged this guy before jumping in front of a truck with him. I don't want to see anyone try to tell me he's one sandwitch drop away from jumping off a cliff.

Cinatography by Blind Al.

Directed by one of those guys that killed john wicks dog.

God I love Ryan Reynolds because you know it was him.

Wade stop peeing your pants in public.

Weasel "We still have bowie..." Yeah id lie to him too at this point.

"Yeah im fine"

Fucked up

Insecure

Needy and

Emotional. K��bler ross apprently.

"Buck no more speaking lines for you" and he meant that shit.

Al is so humble and sweet. Making tea and giggling. Tries to shoot him and then just hears him collapse on the floor. How many times do you think he collapses on the floor a week? Just to be drimatic?

"Sweetheart can you speak up? Its a little hard to hear you with yhat pity dick in your mouth" Oh so shes his mom. Al is his fucking mom. Hands down. And the best one.

I love how he decided to do an entire bag of cocaine before dying. There was no reason for it and honestly was a waste of cocaine until you realize that these cocaine is wades whiskey. Shots dont work for him really, probably because hes already done it so much, but its the same way how Logan chugs that bottle before wade kidnaps him. Its easier to blame it on a substance then accept those were your actions.

Ness is so cute. The poster behind her has "I love you wade wilson" scratched into it. Its nice to know that his version of heaven is literally just a cozy Saturday morning with his wife.

Colossus just walking in to find wades body parts everywhere and put him in a bag like old dirty clothes lol

"Why cant I fucking die" tone was SO serious.

The fact that theres an x men rule book and its lowkey thicker then a bible. I bet you scott and Logan made 80% of those.

"That asshole was me" oh the tears. Baby boyy.

Wait isnt cable literally scotts son.

Im never going to understand this fucking time line jesus christ

Mutant rehabilitation?? What is he a drug addict? That kid is clearly in pain dipshits.

"X men trainee" is so funny

"Please stop cheating on me"

Daniel the pedophile looking ass

Bro casually signs ryan reynolds on the wolverine cereal box and then destroys his knee caps.

"Those guys hurt you??" It was at that moment, wade went ape shit.

Wade having fun in prison is so him. But come on imagine going to prison just for standing up to an abused child. Not to mention, His face when he immediately realizes how fucked he is and that "oh shit I actually DO have cancer now and it SUCKS"

Is it just me or does Cable reminds you of forge with all his cool fix it abilities. Or is he just futurey.

He didn't say were not friends to make him upset but to draw attention to himself. Him just eye rolling when stabbed in the hand was so funny too because he was like "Ouch. God damn it. Ducking OUCH."

Hes literally pleading with russel to find someone else to peotect him or hes gonna get molested because he cant do anything. His entire power is replacing dead cells WITH new cancer cells. His entire body is dying 24/7 but never fast enough to actually kill him, always regrowing way too quickly. Cancerous is better then dead.

"Get away from me kid" yeah cause he knows hes trouble and he REALLY doesn't wanna watch this kid die.

"Who the hell tries to kill a 14 year old boy"

"Kids give us a chance to be better then we used to be"

Dopinder is so wholesome. I love him so much. No i dont care that he killed a guy. Hes the type of friend you call to take to the movies or the zoo once every year and hes stoked just to be invited.

Peter: I just thought it looked fun :D

Dopinder: FUCK

Peter is that one dad whos kids left the nest and now he needs friends and a hobby so searches for the biggest weirdos he can find.

"Grab the boy- NOT INAPPROPRIATELY >:("

i love his crayon maps/plans

Oh my god weasel im not telling you anything ever again you snitch (same dude, cable is terrifying)

After crying over the love he has for his new team (x force) Wade confirms that he spent 10 years in special forces.

I love how supportive wade is with Peter despite him just being a normal dude only for him to immediately die LMAO

He just cassually lets his impulse win in which he steals a moped.

Oh i just noticed Dominos vitiligo. I always loved vitiligo charaters. Theyre so unique and barley ever given movie roles. Like why not?? Why wouldnt you want someone so beautiful? Im pretty sure she just has make up but it would be cool if not.

Something else is that cable just starts yeeting criminals out onto the street lol

"Theres nothing I cant kill" Let me intorduce you to the man whos on a constant road to dying but can never actually get there.

Im assuming cable wants to kill russel because he unleashes a big bad guy or something.

*cassually snaps neck back into place* Oh god that hurt!

Oh I was right! It was Juggernaut :)

Wade: *gets excited about being PHYSICALLY ripped in half*

"Rub my legs mama 🥺 I got growing pains"

"Oh noo! No no no Dp not again!" We love you Dopinder. Do not ever stop caring. "This shits happened before!?" Yes weasel. Sometimes your friends get ripped in half. Get used to it.

Wade just moves her gun to the right position.

Wade talking about saving russel is so serious that it makes you forget that he has a tiny baby ass rn. I couldn't make a deal with someone woth tiny baby legs... just... no. Not to mention that those baby legs are made of cancer.

"50 years from now you're super fucking dead"

Wade standing outside of the xmen mansion with his phone and a picture of a boom box playing music for Colossus to come outside and help him save russel is something i can see happening to Logan. They have a fight and he storms off to the mansion only for wade to stand outside like that.

"Hi Wade🎀✨️" "Hi Yukio!🥹 you guys make a super cute couple 😊 where was I? 🤨"

"So you wear a helmet so your brother cant read your mind?" "Yeaaahh" average kid conversations.

"Lets fuck some shit up is my legal middle name"

Okay sir edgelord.

Apprently wade has a gluten sensitivity

What is it with wade and metal men??? My man has a type.

"Im just gonna use this brick and maximum effort" Same wade. Same.

Yaayy!! Go yukio! Eveyone loves yukio.

"Thats how we do it in mother russia" What? Shoving an electrical cable up their ass and then put them in a pool? Damn. Ok.

That "I never should have never left you in that prison" with the hug? Man hed be a decent dad I think.

"Dont be ive been trying to make this happen for awhile" okay someone supervise him 24/7. Hes on the active watch list.

Wade: *is dying* Hi Yukio :D

Yukio: Hi wade :)

"R-dog" Oh my god hes too cute.

Them carrying the racist joke all the way til the end made me cringe but that was the point.

His last words being "do you wanna build a snow man?" Is such a deadpool thing.

I was NOT expecting to cry at the end of this stupid ass movie, AGAIN

"Dont fuck colossus" VANESSA KNEW

THE FUCKING COIN

"Is there a knife in my dick?" "There's a knife in your dick."

Oh I just didn't even notice she has heterochromancia! <3 Aahh!!

PFFT DOPINDERS SECOND CONFIRMED KILL

"WERE DEFINITELY NAMINF OUR KID CHER"

"Dont scratch!" *shoots himself 8 times* "Love you! Bye."

Wolverine: ???

[quitealotofsodapop]

Do you know if there's any initiation process for people to become sworn siblings?

Or do they just say, "You're my sworn sibling now." to each other?

I think it is comparable to the historical practice of "blood brothers" in which close companions would symbolically "mix blood" by pressing opened wounds against one another or drinking one another's blood. In some cultures with a more "eww. blood" attitude, a sacrifice was made in each other's honour to seal the deal instead.

In folklore; the only reason the gods in the Norse pantheon don't get rid of Loki despite their mischief, is because Loki and Odin are blood brothers.

Noted examples in East Asia mainly come from Mongolian and tribal Chinese accounts - in which it was common practice amongst dear friends and their children. One famous example is Temüjin aka Genghis Khan and his childhood friend Jamukha - the latter's betrayal and attempted usurping considered one of the Khan's greatest emotional losses.

For particularly Chinese sources I found this article about traditional Chinese Kinship, though most of the sources come from Taiwan.

The standard ritual was for each sworn sibling to add their names and dates to a contract and ritualistically burn it - as to add it to the infernal and celestial archives. "Can't return me without the receipt" - at it's finest.

Another familiar practice was for each sibling in the pact to add their blood to wine, and pass it around to drink.

It's a bit flexible depending on the individuals. Whether for personal or political reasons. But the "ideal" scenario is people who are so close, that they feel that they might as well by legally recognised as siblings. Sworn brethren could, for example, contribute to the dowry of a sworn sibling's daughter, preform mourning rituals for the others bio family, or becoming legal guardians of your sworn-sibling's kid in case of their death.

Or in the case of Confucian-era China outlawing homosexuality, it was a clever way to facilitate a same-sex marriage. Can't fault two guys for living together and raising their kids when it's a legally recognised practice! A bunch of friends could come together and make a brotherhood pact as a way to cheekily help others in the group be married in spirit when the state wouldn't recognise it.

Some folks even did it so that members in their bio family who were interested in eachother could have "a reason" to be interacting. Imperial gender norms be wildin' so hard that you can't talk to your crush without your dads being legally best bros.

This is why in chinese slang; "sworn brothers" is used as slang for "gay relationship". Aka "oh my god, they were roommates."-vine.

In JTTW: Sun Wukong and the Brotherhood/Seven Sages declare themselves sworn kin at the same time Wukong elects his Marshals and Generals. In this case, they are all close friends who officiate their sworn kinship through partying hard, and making sacrifices to both Heaven and Hell. They even have separate days out together.

(Source: Anthony C Yu translation)

Who knows, maybe a wedding was thrown in the mix? With all the drinking I wouldn't be shocked if there was some confusion with the ritual contract! XD

Wukong, re-reading the contract years later: "HA! Flood Dragon and Tamarin put themselves down as the other kind of sworn brother! Wonder if they even noticed that?" Bull King, there to check: "I doubt it. I'm just glad I'm not legally married to anyone. Don't want any loose ends before me and Iron Fan get hitched."

Erlang and the Six Lads of Plum Hill/Meishan Brothers are all sworn brothers too - in a more frat-boy/brothers-in-arms sense. They've all likely know each other for decades, and legit see each other equal to siblings. Notably, Erlang shares the bounty he received from capturing Sun Wukong fairly across his brothers (and presumably the remaining odd bit for the dog). Four of the brothers are Marshals while Two are Generals, giving more credence to the headcanon of Wukong's Stalwarts being his sworn family as well. In an odd bit of hilarity amongst the tense fight of Flower Fruit Mountain, the bros even rib Erlang for thinking too hard about Wukong.

Erlang, trying to be cool and edgy: "What a foul being to dare call himself equal to heaven. I ought to-" Plum Hill Lad: "Aww! Elder Bro has a crush!" Erlang, flustered: "I DO NOT!!" Plum Hill Lads, all cracking up and making kissy faces: "Then why are you thinking about him so much?" "Major sus bro!" "If you wanna fight him so much why don't you just marry him?" (*Invasion is paused as all six Plum Hill lads start rough-housing with their elder bro. Many head-noogies are inflicted.*) Wukong, on the ground: "You know what those guys are talking about Macaque?" Macaque, teasing: "Why, are you interested in him or something?" Wukong, blushing like a schoolgirl: "Oh my gawds! Stahp!"

Curiously, Wukong describes himself and Erlang as "sworn brothers" later in the book; suggesting that they had a close relationship at some point. One of my fave pieces of art (can't find it rn) is Erlang asking Wukong to be his "sworn brother", and Wukong assumes he means "spouse" and gets confused when Erlang mentions having six more. XD

A "lesser" case would be; The Tang Emperor declaring Xuanzang/Tripitaka his oath/sworn brother because the monk is doing him a solid. The Emperor shows his immense gratitude, and Tripitaka gains some political clout that he can throw around if he needs to (the Empress of the Kingdom of Women even sees this as a marriage bonus). Tripitaka def doesn't do the "blood" or sacrificial part of what these rituals imply, as per his Buddhist upbringing, but it's still seen as a binding oath. Rather, they bow to one another and declare their status are sworn bros before an image of the Buddha in the monastery.

In Tripitaka's case, it's more of Emperor Taizong being like; "Look, this pilgrimage is so important to me that I'm gonna legally and spirtually count you as my little brother so that you understand how much I trust you." Meanwhile the monk is like; "What?Thats a bit much don't you think?"

Later on, the promise of becoming one's sworn brother is passed between characters akin to "If you pull this off for me, I would straight up be your best bro."

And ofc the Pilgrims consider eachother sworn kin/brothers at the end of the story, even if they didn't do a ritual to seal it.

So yeah in summary:

Rituals can be performed but are not 100% required. Even a mutual declaration before an idol/holy image is enough. Whilst the Brotherhood of Sages celebrate their new pact through booze and partying and blood sacrifices - Tripitaka and the Tang Emperor just declared it while in a monastery.

People did it for money and political reasons too.

They also did it cus "It ain't gay if it's brotherhood."

Sworn kinship can be forged overtime.

The celestial and infernal archives have the reciepts.

Btw you can do a "sworn divorce" if you and your bro have a falling out.

Whilst the practice isn't really a thing in modern China, I imagine it's still common amongst yaoguai and/or celestials.

[ohmyeyesmyeyes]

secret double life

sidney crosby x f!actress!reader

fc: dianna agron

liked by vogue, kaitlyndever and 764,982 others

ynofficial: i apologise on behalf of makeup artists across the world. i have failed you and learnt nothing since i was 17, and for that i am deeply sorry. anyway, this has been a dream come true of mine - thank you for the opportunity vogue! (i apologise for the lateness, but the video is up on YT rn!)

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user12: you can do no wrong in my eyes, even if the foundation was the wrong shade

user13: she fr worked with it and said 'trust the process'

user14: i can feel the mascara wand in my eye

user15: HER RINGS FUCK WHAT IF THAT TWITTER THREAD WAS RIGHT

user16: the twitter thread was right what are you talking about??????

user17: was it all common knowledge or something?

user18: forgetting they're married is like never remembering that ryan reynolds was married to scarlett johansson

user19: was it just me or did anyone else hear a child laugh in the background?

user20: ME!!!!

user21: babe you're looking so good

user22: thank you for feeding us with this content

liked by user23 and 14,914 others

gossip: after the news has begun recirculating, pittsburgh penguins legend, sidney crosby, has been seen attending a charity gala with his wife, actress y/n l/n. it is unknown as to how long the couple have been married, but rumours suggest 10+ years.

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user24: WHAT!!!!! THEY BOTH LOOK SO GOOD!!!!

user25: idk which one i want to bite first

user26: i'm praying for confirmation 🙏🙏

user27: it has only just occurred to me that people don't know about these two and it upsets me sm 😭

user28: parents

user29: they actually might be though

user30: I'VE BEEN THINKING THIS!!

liked by user31 and 20,008 others

unofficialnhlnews: a reporter asked crosby if he had any family in the stands for today's 1000th game for the pens, he said yes and when asked (for the first time, nearly ever), who, he replied with "well, i flew out some of my family from home, but my wife's watching today."

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user32: CONFIRMATION WTF

user33: he was so open with it what

user34: BRO STARTED BLUSHING

user35: i don't think i've ever seen crosby smile like that

user36: if this is true, i'm thinking about the baby laugh in the background of her vogue grwm

user37: tbh if they've been together for that long they literally could have a kid fr

liked by annabellewallis, monicabarbaro and 791,372 others

ynofficial: apparently i lead a secret double life?

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user38: IS THAT CHILD YOURS? IS IT SIDNEY CROSBY'S KID?

user39: it'd be so funny if it is hers and sid's with the ovi jersey

user40: the armpit scribbler is definitely sid

ynofficial: he's one of the three 👍

user41: does that count as a hard launch??????????

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liked by nhl, aleksandrovechkinofficial and 962,822 others

ynofficial: sid by me ❤ it's been an honour to experience life with you so far - i really fucking love you.

to the rest of you: i give you sid, and introduce you to mason and india!

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user45: *sharp inhale* AAAAAAAAAAAA

user46: he was so baby 😭

user47: SIDNEY CROSBY IS A DILF ⚠️ I REPEAT SIDNEY CROSBY IS A DILF ⚠️

user46: the baby in the #87 jersey i'm sobbing

user47: we said confirm pls and y/n and sid heard change lives

user48: oh 😭 my 😭 god 😭

user49: india and mason are so fucking cute

user50: the first picture is breaking hearts

user51: what about that kid that was wearing the ovi jersey?

ynofficial: mini ovi and mini crosby swapped jerseys after the all star game this year!! both dads cried

liked by alexachung, kaitlyndever and 918,926 others

ynofficial: y/n by me (sid) ❤ i really fucking love you, too

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user52: simple but romantic

user53: i'm crying

user54: THE ONES WHEN HE'S CUDDLING HER AHKSJGF

user55: the wedding photo lmao

user56: baby and bump

user57: i'm definitely dying alone

liked by user58 and 19 others

ynofficial: 😋

this post has been deleted

[randomfanner]

It crushes me how much Gale Slander there is.

I know a bug made him horny and clingy but in my current play through Gale and Blanche(what I named my Tav) are bros and I have found it easy to avoid romancing him.

And how can you dislike Gale for being a bit pushy and hitting on you when literally EVERYONE HITS ON YOU!!! At the Tiefling Party, if you have medium approval with anyone you can start romancing them and they all want you to god dammit.

But if you actually romance Gale, he is pretty damn shy and hesitant. You can think you want to kiss him and he doesn't just kiss you, he is just stunned. He is not trying to jump right into a romance with you! He can get pretty forward once you, the player, have shown interest in actually romancing him. (Like when he says you are hot when you fight)

A lot of people dislike Gale for talking about Mystra when he is trying to romance you but we have to remember: Mystra means so much more to Gale than just being his ex-lover. Gale worshipped Mystra as his goddess before, during and afterwards their relationship. Mystra is magic, the literal goddess of what he ties all of his self worth too. I will admit I am biased towards Gale because I am the same way about my grades, and for Gale, the Goddess magic and the embodiment of his art took an interest in him and made him his chosen.

When he lost the favor of Mystra, he lost everything he had worked so hard for in his life. Was it partly his own fault? Yes, he fucked around and found out. However I genuinely think if Gale had only been Mystra's Chosen rather then Mystra's Lover, he wouldn't have.

Mystra approached Gale and from how we see Gale act when he is trying to seduce Tav, he didn't make the first move romantically either. Mystra had a lot of power over Gale and I don't blame Gale for wanting to become the equal of the woman he loved.

Of course the problem arises because she is a Goddess and he is a Mortal Man who is overly ambitious. But I do not think the bases of what he wanted was too much to ask for.

Maybe I am giving Gale too much credit, I mean, look at how he reacts to the Crown and oh I do sigh at that. But his reasons are very complex for wanting the crown more then just power.

And the magic items. It is three magic items and you get so many thrown at you during this game. Not all of them are good for every run. An uncommon magic item is like what, 33gp?

When Gale actually comes to you about it too, it is either after you have shown you are a good person who likes to help people and he feels he can trust you to help him with the bomb in his chest that could wipe out a city. Or the alternative is he literally has to come talking to you lest he actually, literally explode and you are the person who is in charge. Yes he gets angry when you refuse but man has good reason, everyone's life is at stake!

Does he give you all the details? No! But the only people who tell you everything at this damn camp are Lae'zel and Karlach! Literally no one tells you ja

There are plenty of reasons to not like Gale. Gale is my favorite but I do see how parts of him, like how he can be sort of a classist asshole about magic(I do not think he intends to be and I think that is Gale's ~Touch of the Tism~ showing and being mixed with self worth issues)

Gale is such a genuinely sweet guy. He values life and people and magic. He may be over the top and get in over his head way to easily just wants to be at home with his cat and a good book and I am so sick of all the slander towards my boy.

[willowser]

haiii willow!! i was reading through your work (as i usually do when I’m on here) but i wanna know your thoughts on whether young, early 20s bkg - who currently has a thing for reader - would he feel this impending urge of sexual attraction?? i feel like at that point of time he wouldn’t be having much sex, if any at all but ofc reader is beautiful and sweet and gorgeous!! do u think he’d ever have moments where he’s ogling or he’s just back in his bedroom and all he can think are perverted thoughts and he’s like, “fuck.”

i will continue stalking ur page and reblogging so that’s all! love u🩷🩷🩷👼

oh i am smooching you smooching i say, bc i love this scenario it is my freaking bread and butter 😌✨️🩷

i think he definitely would !! not a total clueless virgin, but he's not really feeling it with anyone, and maybe hasn't for a while—if ever. and maybe he's just like, eh i've got more important things going on rn than who i'm having dinner with i hardly have time to have it with myself 🥺

bc i imagine early 20s bakugou very specifically, especially after what's going on in the manga, so i can completely see him being so sidetracked and not even interested in romance—and then you come along 🥺 and i think it would take him a while to get there, honestly, like. he's got you in the back of his mind for a whole year, even. doing his best not to think about it, but every now and then when things are quiet, his mind is wandering until he's thinking about how you wish him a stupid good morning ! every day and always make small talk with him about all kinds of random shit 😒🥺 he resists the idea that you give him butterflies and tries to tell himself you make him sick LOL

but then—something happens. something small, i think, that is such a non-event but it launches you to the forefront of everything, all at once. maybe you say something funny that makes him do his little evil smile or ask him a question and really listen to what he's saying with big beautiful eyes or you wave at him as you pass each other in the hall and kirishima is with him and then turns to him, grinning so fucking wide, and he's like "bro....why're they smiling at you like that ?? 😏😏😏" and that has bakugou thinking to himself.....oh shit........are they smiling at me like that ??? and then he's so totally gutted by the fact that—he wants you. oh man, he wants you so bad. and i've said this before but i think because he tries to fight that feeling for so long, once he finally accepts it, he's like full speed ahead. he opens that door and it's like the floodgates, the dam has broken, he's neck deep the minute he stepped over.

and i really think bakugou's attraction to someone—like his deep, genuine, heart-achy kind of attraction to someone—is based on who you are, and so the more time he spends with you and the more he thinks about you and the more he gets to know you, it just builds and builds and builds LOL and then that sexual attraction comes bull-dozing in, i think. and i love to talk about this but he thinks he's so not a meat-head that thinks with his dick but he definitely catches himself checking you out and is SO MAD LMAOOO

he's also such a—make a plan, make it happen kind of person, so once he decides he can't stand doing nothing, he's trying to figure out how to make you his. and in trying to plan that out, he's going through scenario after scenario, thinking about what differently he could do when he sees you and how you'll respond, imagining it late at night, dreaming about what you'd say and what you'd do.....what that would lead to, eventually AND HE FEELS LIKE SUCH A PERV LMAOOO he's such a dork

god i literally could go on and on about this forever you don't understand akdhfjskkq this is one of my favorite scenarios for him it's just my default thinking state this point LOL hiiiii friend !!! tysm for asking !!! 😌🩷✨️

[bitchimasnake-sss]

tumblr au ft. the strawhats! (/some cameos)

basically what if the strawhats had tumblr?? hehe no. but what if?

🍖thepiratekingxdd

YOU GUYS WONT BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED TODAY. SO, SANJI GOT THIS MICROWAVE FOR US RIGTH? AND SO, I PUT A GLASS FULL OF WATER IN THE MICROWAEV AND AFTER A MINUTE IT WAS GONE!! THE GLASS WAS EMTY WAS IT STUCK TO THE ROOF? EVAPORTATED?? WITCHCRAFT??? WHO KNOWS

♻️🦐sanjissscokbook Follow

for the last time, YOU FORGOT TO PUT THE WATER IN THE MUG. NOTHING HAPPENED! FOR THE LAST TIME IT WASN'T WITCHCRAFT.

#and who taught you fucking evaporated?? #was it nami-swan? #she's the cutest #strawhat pirates

723 notes

⚔oni-giri Follow

ive witnessed many horrors of the world but one of my most jarring experiences of being alive is the fact that today, sanji actually managed to get a date 🤢😀

♻️🍊namitheexplorer Follow

and why are you jealous??? homo.

#just date already ffs #tired of this homoerotic tension everyday

12,344 notes

🐾tonytonychopper Follow

Can you stop being so dramatic bro. Look around bro and appreciate the beauty of the world bro. Youre bumming everybody out bro.

85,231 notes

🤠notnicorobin Follow

Does anyone have any tips for new mothers? I'm just twenty-eight and have made the decision to adopt six kids all at once. Any help will be appreciated!

♻️⚔oni-giri Follow

you have kids???

♻️⚔oni-giri Follow

wait are you talking about us???

45 notes

👃🏾godussop Follow

you know if i wanted to, i could be the centre of attention at your stupid party by telling everyone my cool ass advertures but i dont because im nice

♻️😎godussopfanclub Follow

SO RIGHT GOD USSOP!! PREACH

#godussop

8,821 notes

🍊namitheexplorer Follow

being a lesbian is cool because some days, i just wanna run my fingers through her hair and smile at her fondly as we lie in the shade of the trees. on other days, i wanna wear her blood in a necklace around my neck and be buried with her so that when the archaeologists dig us up, they think we were one.

♻️🔵viviofalabasta Follow

If you missed me you could have just texted me babe.

♻️🍊namitheexplorer Follow

no, i need your blood.

♻️🤠notnicorobin Follow

As an archaeologist, i approve. It'll be so funny for the future archaeologists.

#namivivi

112k notes

🔥whitebeardsillegitimateson Follow

ofcourse it's kinda hard being the hottest, smartest, kindest, sexiest, most baby-girl big brother in the world, but someone has to do it. sorry what was your question again?

♻️🍖thepiratekingxdd

my question was when are you gonna come play with me and chopper?

♻️🔥whitebeardsillegitimateson Follow

luffy, i am a busy, busy man. i don't even know when i will be fr- i'll come by 7.

281 notes

a/n: this was so fun to make!!! i cannot wait to make one more part to it lol

[yeokii]

# types of tropes w enha !!

₊﹒wc! 2.7k

₊﹒warnings! non-idol!enha, gn!reader (but I kinda wrote it with she/her pronouns in mind so if you see she/her pronouns im v sorry pls ignore), profanity, mentions of alcohol (only in jake's), mentions of skinship, mentions of stalker behaviour (its a joke, nothing serious tho) mentions of being high (ITS A JOKE), mentions of blood in Riki's one, spelling and grammar errors!!

₊﹒note! yen and Kayla my fave bff helped me w the tropes!! ngl got carried away with junwons one

₊﹒requested by this anon !!

# lee heeseung ⎯ coworkers to lovers

IT JUST FITS HIM SO WELL

heeseung would def catch feelings first when you asked him to help organise the files

HE ALWAYS AND I MEAN ALWAYS takes up the offer whenever you need help with something.

you want a drink? bro will bring you the whole menu

literally will do anything to show that he's into you.

bro just loves being near you.

but this one time where he dropped you home when it started raining heavily, you started to question ur feelings for him.

and so the mutual pining begins 😞

yall both would be mad blushing whenever you both interact w each other.

both of your friends would be so mad because they know you both like each other

like why aren't yall kissing already??

you kinda did know that heeseung did like you back but the man was oblivious

so you asked him out 😁

SUSHI DATE FTW!!

and you both hung out in his car after the date finished and this man did not want to take you home.

it was painful pls 😭

fastfoward to when you both start dating and he come to your house and picks you up so you can both go to work at the same time.

he would bring your daily coffee orders aswell

he would even teach you how to play league of legends help 😭

skinship is a must!!

give it a few months and he would know you more than you know yourself

PLS HES SO CUTE SOMEONE GIVE THIS MAN AN AWARD

"baby, let me take you on a date after you finish work."

"I swear to god, it better not be a ramen date again."

₊﹒other members under the cut !!

# park jongseong ⎯ brother's best friend

no cuz its so jongseong of him to fall in love with his best friend's sibling

he would know you since he was like 3 and he prolly always saw you as his best friend's annoying little sibling 😭

but you were literally completely in love with this man

if you could kiss the ground he walked on, you would.

PLSSS HE WOULDN'T EVEN TALK TO U

just a few glances here and there

but when you started to grow up, you kinda ignored him aswell cuz you started to get a life 💀

BUT U STILL KINDA LIKED JAY THOO

it wasn't very visible as it was before b4

but this hurt jays ego like why aren't you foaming in the mouth whenever you see him???

BYE SOMEONE PLS HUMBLE HIM

so when you both were at a party

YOU LOOKED ETHEREAL

and it bugged him why were you hanging out with other people??

this man really thought you had no social life plss

you looked so pretty and he didn't even look at anyone else, it was just you.

this man fell in love with you gn.

and then from there, he saw you as a romantic aspect or wtv.

IT WAS SO FUNNY BECAUSE NOW HES THE ONE FOAMING AT HIS MOUTH WHENEVER HE SEES YOU

you kinda noticed that he liked you because he believed actions > words

he started picking you and dropping you off to school when your brother couldn't

he would even bring one of your favourite snacks along the way too

he would text you and talk to you more often

so one night while you and ur bsf had a sleepover

jay also had one w ur brother

AND BROOOO HE WAS SO JEALOUS U COULD SEE HIS EYES TURNING RED

jay vamp era frfr

he was being very passive aggressive to ur bsf

SO U CONFRONTED HIM 😁

and bro just straight up said "I like you"

followed by "I don't like when they talk to you"

so ur just there 🧍‍♀️

like helppp it was so awkward

after the confession, he asked you on a date and ofc you said yes

IT WAS SO CUTE TOO

but a few months in the relationship, you both are getting comfy with each other

its either a full on classy restaurant date or staying at home and watching Disney+

theres no in between

and ofc your brother is okay with this as he gets used to it

he loves to act like he doesn't care for you but you know he loves you

"no I'm not blushing!"

"jay you so are! I didn't know you liked backhugs!"

"SHUT UP"

# sim jaeyun ⎯ exes to lovers

it would def be you who broke up w him

I js don't see Jake calling off a relationship

and it would prolly be over the summer when you thought you and the aussie boy (😝😝😝) didn't click anymore.

mans would be sooo devastated like wdym ya'll don't click anymore???

he would spend more time thinking abt why you thought the relationship didn't work than actually being sad

mans really tried to move on but he srsly couldn't do it.

he was so comfortable with you, he couldn't do that with anyone else.

all his friends witnessed him going through the five stages of greif

it was sad actually 😭

he would still have you as his lock screen like he never even bothered to change it

so probably after 8 months of going through crappy dates and drinking his heart away (he got drunk on apple juice) he decided he wanted you back

so he reached out to you

found out you work at a cafe through his 'sources' (jungwon)

and when you see him he's like "whatttt? you work here????"

its giving stalker behaviour

do better jake 😕👎

and now that he KNOWS you work here

he comes there everyday at 4 right when you're shift begins

bro is the master at small talk

and that is when the small talk with you goes on for an hour and you realise its been an hour since your shift is finished.

he offers a ride back home

and you agreed since you didn't want to walk home alone

you didn't really see the problem with exes being friends and you told him abt it too but

NO NO NO

this man did not work this hard for ya'll to just be friends again

so he waited until your shift finished and decided to bring you your fav flowers

and he asked you if you wanted to go out

and he brought you to a picnic

and you're like "Jake??? its night???"

"you always wanted to have a picnic with me so I thought why not?"

plsss you were shocked that he remembered you wanting to have a picnic with him but you both never had the time.

he even brought your fav sandwiches and drinks it was so cute

and when he dropped you back home he confessed everything and he told you he wanted to get back together

after thinking abt it for a few days

you decided you wanted to get back tgt

so you showed up at his house with flowers in your hand (it was rlly cute plss 😭😭😭)

and when you both get back together

he really tried to make the relationship even more stronger an always assured you to talk to him if you had any problem

its cute because this man is never gonna let u go

like whenever ya'll walk tgt, he's gonna be holding your hand

you're making something in the kitchen? he's backlogging you

you wanna pee? this man's gonna follow you into the bathroom

jake's so cute plss😭😭

jungwon swears he's the reason you both got back tgt

"please you looked so funny when you fell on your butt!"

"remember the time where I dumped you?"

# park sunghoon ⎯ first love

I feel like this boy would not fall in love that easily which is why he hadn't had his first love

sure he had his first likes, loads of partners, but never love

and then baam

you came in 😎

he felt like it was one of those tv series where everything was in slow motion and like the spotlight was just on you

he just felt like it was just you and him in the ice skating rink

like bro's brain just flew through the window

and ofc his kdrama moment had to end because u fell on ur ass trying to skate.

and bro let me tell you

this man procreated the loudest snort alive to mankind

and ofc you glared at him

which made him run to you, helping you up

"hi, I'm sunghoon."

"ok"

he thought he would cry right there.

he apologised and asked to make it up by trying to take you out for ice cream.

ofc you couldn't say no

and you both got to know each other well

this man was scared because he thought he wouldn't se you again

so what did he do?

this man used every pickup line known to mankind

NO NO NO

he did not ask your number

INSTEAD he turned into the rizzlord

oh was it a sight to see

NO CAUSE YOU KNEW HE WANTED YOUR PHONE NUMBER

he was js really nervous

so u asked his phone and saved ur phone number

"maybe I could like yk teach you how to skate next time?"

"wtv you say hoon."

# kim sunoo ⎯ best friends to lovers

oh god the mutual pinning..

YOU BOTH LIKE EACH OTHER

WHY ARENT YALL SUCKING EACH OTHERS FACES RN?

riki asked calmly

and I wholeheartedly agree

you thought sunoo was js your bsf

which explains why he always looks out for you

waiting for you at the school gate everyday even if you're like 30 minutes late

or always getting you fav drink

or always covering for you if you got into trouble

LIKE NAHHHHH

be so fr rn

riki could not stand it

bro was about to grow white hairs

this man was the literal definition of a third wheel

everytime riki tried to talk abt you two

you always dismissed it

AND SUNOO WAS BUTTHURT

like were you that blind?

NO

you were js scared you were gonna get rejected and all these years of friendship would go to waste

and ngl sunoo felt the same

so ofc your matchmaker riki pulled sunoo aside and asked him how he felt abt you

and pls sunoo loves you more than himself

he literally only trusts you

and you were the same for him

#goals

so riki used his amazing megamind brain and asked yall to talk abt your feelings

and it took a while to open up after riki left and by the end of it you both had shared your first kiss with each other 😁

NGL IT WAS REALLY CUTE

you both were red

and now since y'all are in a relationship

riki hated it more

"BOOO get a room."

ur dates were so cute

either it was hot choco dates or ''lets go play in the snow' dates

you always enjoyed it

because you are with sunoo (I physically cringed)

"maybe I should call u the sun cuz u brighten up every room u walk into."

"r u high?"

# yang jungwon ⎯ academic rivals

his jaw dropped when he saw the results

HELLO A 95???

man hasn't got anything below a 97

and there you were

waving ur results sheet at him with a clear 96

bro wanted to slap that smirk right off your face

so he asked the teacher to check his paper again

bye the teacher did not give two fucks

so he checked it himself

he was actually supposed to get a 94 but lets keep that to ourselves 😁

he js waited until the next exam to rot around and by that this man took a mental screenshot of every page in the book

a 94???

GOODBYE.

if there was a dissapear button in life

he would press 65 times

and what did you get

a 97.

happiest day of your life ngl

this man had a whole fit

HE COULD NOT BELIVE IT

the teacher actually had enough of you

and gave you both detention

all you had to clean the classroom

'bonding time' she said

'it'll be fun' she said

so when you started to clean the room

all you both could give each other were side eyes and silent curses

it was painful actually

you both divided the room saying this was his side and that was your side

but there were tiny moments were you were staring at him, admiring his side profile

THAT WAS SO UNLIKE U

U WERE SUPPOSED TO HATE HIM

but why did he look so ethereal when he was sweeping the floors

GET A GRIP.

so there was this moment were you both close to each other and you tripped on your untied shoelaces and landed ontop of him

he landed on his ass

so romantic I know.

and you both stared at each other for a long time (5 seconds)

before he pushed you off him

"EW."

he stood up and went back to sweeping and you were still on the floor

you stood and started cleaning again

but what you didn't realise was that he kept staring at you

occasionally having eye contact

after that day, you both became softer to each other

YOUR TEACHER HAD HER JAW DROPPED WHEN HE SAW YOU BOTH NOT FIGTHING WHEN JUNGWON GOT A 94 AND YOU GOT A 96

like hello???

where the hair ripping and shitty insults??

your friend were in school because you stopped talking bt how much you hate him and so were his friends

scary really

both of your friends thought that you both were planning some big revenge or something

but then they caught you smiling at him while walked past you??

they called an exorcist immediately

THIS IS NOT OK??

you both didn't whine and ask the teacher to change when you both were paired up for a project

you both had a fun time and you actually had a good convo

you both called truce

and you both started to not hate each other

and one day while you both talked you had a moment of silence when you just said 'fuck it' and went in and kissed him

GET A ROOM

and the next day in school

you both walked holding hands

everyone was so confused because um what the actual fuck?

"can't believe I used to hate this pretty face."

"ew jungwon"

"shut up before we go back to being enemies"

# nishimura riki ⎯ hates everyone but you

when he heard about love, all he could say was 'bs'

like be so fr

BUT THAT WAS UNTIL YOU ENROLLED IN THE SCHOOL

he swore he could hear wedding bells

everything abt you was so perfect

like he never had an ideal type but god damn bro

might as well have one rn

he like froze for a sec

crazy ik

tbh you didn't acknowledge his existence for a few days

until you saw him playing basketball w his friends

and his basketball met w ur face

bye ur nose did not stop bleeding

man came rushing to u when he realised it was u

he took you to the nurse and when you were all ok

he sheepishly grinned at you and apologised for hitting you w his basketball

you were quick to forgive him and you started to become friends since that day

everyone was in shock because you were the first person he'd ever talked other than his friends

and you were so confused because everyone kept telling this was so unlikely of him

he had never tied someones shoelaces when they were untied

or he had never lent someone his jacket

even to his friends

the privilege was showing

like u were so confused because he doesn't do this with other people

he prolly be like 😐 but when you're there hes like 😁

soo you asked him

"idk I like you"

HELLO???

"oh uhm haha same."

BYE YALL ARE SO AWKARD

it took a few weeks for him to grow some balls and ask you to be his s/o

and this man needed to always be on your side

he's gaming? ur on his lap.

he's playing basketball? ur playing with him.

UR LIKE EVERYWHERE

its so cute

makes me sick

"BABY WHERE R U GOING?"

"riki I need to pee."

perm taglist!! @flwoie @zuyairus @bubblytaetae @yenqa @haknom

[starry-eyed-wild-child]

🌻marcus headcanons🌻

a/n: there's no content on this man, so I'm doing it myself, don't come at me

adding the song because i can't help but think of marcus whenever I listen to it

. marcus is actually the sweetest boy and i don't care what anyone says, this man always wants more than a one night stand

. will beg you to stay in the morning, to wake up with him, would probably guilt you a little - like 'c'mon, baby, you can't leave me alone in bed' 🥺

. loves, loves, loves dancing but is so fucking bad at it oh my god - he just wants to dance with you

. I don't actually think marcus sleeps around often, I think it's definitely a kinda every few months kinda thing. like I'm talking maybe three times a year

. is the cuddliest man, idc, I don't make the rules - he loves spooning and just holding you close

. I don't even know how you'd meet marcus tbh - I'd say in a club, but that's just too stereotypical and we ain't doing that. but it's probably true

. definitely works in finance or smth - idk bro, look at him and tell me I'm wrong

. marcus absolutely LOVES travelling, seeing new places - I don't think he's been out the states much, but he really wants to see europe and maybe thailand

. he's so sweet oh my god, he's the cliché of if you ask him his favourite thing about you he just goes 'everything' 🤗

. I actually think marcus is really, really smart, for some reason - he is just a dictionary of useless information, and just likes showing off what he knows. not in like a cocky way, he just likes ranting to people lmao

. loves to cook, and is surprisingly really good at it - it's like his love language. cooking for you in the morning, or dinner in the evening

. definitely gives me sugar daddy vibes, but that's probably just me lmao

. you know the drill, nsfw under the cut

. I don't think I really need to tell you all how good he is, we all know that this man would probably give you the best night of your life

. I see marcus as a huge switch. like, big switch. I'd say he's leaning towards being more dominant, but he's down to experiment

. loves leaving marks. both you on him, and him on you. run your nails down his back and he will be ON HIS KNEES

. loves using toys, and he knows exactly how to use them. probably knows about shit you've never even heard of

. he's not particularly loud to be honest, but when he cums he definitely groans a little louder than usual

. if it's a one night stand, I don't think marcus really sees the intimacy in it all - he's more about getting you both off. HOWEVER, if it's a partner, it's the most passionate, intimate thing ever

. is the king of giving head - I think this is because he enjoys it. he could die between your legs, and would die a very satisfied man

. he's down for getting risky - loves, loves, loves public sex - not anything too big, but enough that you'd probably end up getting caught

. loves fucking you in front of windows or mirrors, he loves having you watch yourself

. he's definitely above average, but I don't think it's anything crazy like, say, kappa - BUT he makes up for it because he's just so fucking good, man 😭

. PRAISE KINK - he loves praising you, not that bothered about being praised, but oh my god this man is such a puppy, and loves giving you praises and telling you how good you are for him, and how well you're taking him

. absolutely husband material, 9.5/10

[willothewispwisteriadawn]

Do you think there was a plan for Josh and Sam to have a romance in Until Dawn? I feel like it was implied that they at least have feelings for each other by Josh's "joke" about helping Sam with the bath/specific mention of her being there and Sam's comment at the end of the game, but if so i wonder why they didn't give more lore or moments between them. I mean the big obvious reason is that Josh was playing his elaborate prank on the others and he was obviously not in a good mental state and just lost his sisters and would be gone the majority of the game. But idk i just wish we could have had more knowledge about them or scenes with them. Josh gives the vibe that he talks more game than he has. I believe when he truly likes someone he is quite smitten and sometimes surprises himself with the things he may blurt out. Honestly, i don't think Sam didn't want to "take advantage" of Josh considering the events going on so she was being very careful and considering her feelings but this traumatic event was bringing them together *cough what Josh said Chris and Ash needed* so it was getting hard to deny those feelings.

Oh I like this question! I’ve mentioned it before, but Josh x Sam is my favorite ship.

I don’t think there’s much evidence they were originally intended to be a couple or that the devs see it that way. Even so, I definitely got the impression that Josh cared for Sam more deeply than anyone but Chris. His stats show that Sam is 3-way tied for second with Ashley and Jess, and Sam’s have most people equal (Mike and Jess are lower), but there’s a lot of lore connecting Josh and Sam.

Josh comes across as kind of girl-crazy to me, because of his comments towards Sam, Jess, and Ashley. But there are several things that jumped out to me about him and Sam:

There’s dialogue where Josh tells Sam that he’s happy everyone could make it to the lodge. Then he emphasizes the fact that he’s happy Sam could make it.

Sam says in her interviews that Josh had told her that he felt a special bond with her. Josh had claimed that Sam understood him more than anyone and that they had a connection.

Josh talks a ton about finding her pretty. Again, he does this to other girls, but there’s quite a lot of it during Sam’s psycho chase.

There are some little gestures and statements the characters make that I find sweet too. If Sam is nervous to explore the sound in the basement by herself, she’ll hold onto Josh’s arm when they look together. When Josh and Sam get chased by Chris in the monk costume, Josh will hold out his arm to prevent “the masked monk” from getting to Sam. Sam, if she finds the psycho lair, can tell Josh she thinks he’s crying for help which is very empathetic and caring, considering what he put her through.

Finally, I did write an analysis for Reddit at some point, just unpacking Josh’s motives, and I did find it interesting to reflect on Josh showing Sam the tape of him dying, particularly because (as you also noted) he admits/hints a few times that his prank has been intended to bring people closer, and the game gives a lot of indicators that it was meant to be psychological manipulation.

Josh is deeply disturbed, obviously, and it’s not always clear what his exact logic is— but I do get the sense/headcanon that he genuinely wanted to see what Sam and Chris would do in situations involving his death. His dialogue towards Chris while he’s “dying” is very much “we’re still friends, right?” and he’s legitimately pissed later if Chris chooses Ashley.

Josh: Bro! Bro, we've been through so much, come on... I don't wanna go out like this...!

Josh: I know... I know we haven't been the best of friends lately... and I've been kinda messed up and everything... but I'm getting better, man... I swear!

Josh: I thought we were FRIENDS man! I thought we were FRIENDS why would you DO THIS!?

Josh: NO! OH GOD WHAT DID I DO!??

I mean, this can be read a few ways, certainly. Josh is definitely trying to terrify and mess with Chris, and the last line could also be fake-directed at the psycho. But some of this dialogue sounds like it has a grain of truth in it. Josh may be safe, and he does want Ashley to ultimately think Chris saved her, but he is genuinely learning whom his best friend loves more and truly does have to make sense of why Chris doesn’t choose him, if that’s the case.

Now, with this context, I feel like he plays a similar game with Sam. He, as the psycho, asks Sam how she feels about seeing Josh die.

Sam turns back around to see Josh getting cut in half.

Sam: Josh!

Psycho: How does it make you feel?

I sense there’s a level of dark curiosity Josh has with Sam and Chris. And my interpretation here tracks with how I view their relationships. I believe he cares about what Sam and Chris think. He wants the whole group, particularly the couples (DOUBLE particularly to Chris and Ashley), to get closer. But when he goes about attempting this bonding for himself— it’s most clear that he might be trying to do so with Sam and Chris.

All this said, I do think there’s less canonically indicating that Sam has quite the same level of feelings for Josh. Sam is very independent while also being something of a “Team Mom.” I think she’s known Josh a long time due to her friendship with Hannah, and it’s evident that she spent a lot of time talking to him after the twins vanished. Josh just has a bit more indicating he loves Sam as more than friends than vice versa.

So uh TL;DR—

I think it makes a lot of sense that Josh has a crush on Sam. It’s unconfirmed, but there are many things that caught my eye and made me interpret that. The reading that feels the most accurate is that it’s a bit one-sided, because it feels stronger on Josh’s end. That said, Josh and Sam as a ship fascinates me and has SO MUCH GOOD about it given their defined history. Also, the conversations they can have feel less superficial than how most of the couples talk. I like it a lot.

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

Extremely long vent under the cut

I am so fucking over everything. I feel like I just doubled back to my starting line. I feel like I played the game and failed fucking spectacularly. Like. Worst you could possibly do. The fact I'm back to being with my mom and being single makes me feel like an eighteen year old kid again. I feel like a loser and I genuinely want to die. I don't think texting the crisis text line two days in a row is a good sign. My entire life has fucking gone to shit and I'm genuinely so fucking over it.

All I've ever wanted out of life was to tell my silly lil stories and marry a woman who loves me as much as I love her but you can't have shit in this economy. This is genuinely fucking insane. I cannot BELIEVE what has happened to me. I genuinely never in a million years thought my life would ever look like this. Life threw me a curveball and knocked my teeth clean out. It's so fucked. I think I might actually kill myself, I'm genuinely so fucking over this. I tried to be strong and be resilient and all I'm alive for is to see my life fall completely the fuck apart. I want out. I'm done. I've never been a strong fighter or whatever the fuck. I cry at images of trees that have light shining in between the branches.

I'm not a soldier and never have been but I've been fighting anyway and I'm *tired*. I don't want to fight anymore. And for fucking what?? Some stupid dream of grandeur? A woman that will never come into my life? I've always loved people more than they loved me. I'm not going to find princess charming or whatever the fuck. It's not happening. Something is fucked within me. I'm too sensitive or too idealistic or fucking SOMETHING because holy fucking shit. I am so fucking done. For fucking real. I want out. I want to be gone. I wish guns weren't so expensive and people knew what happened after death because holy SHIT, I am so fucking over it. I cannot live like this. It's fucking over for me. I actually thing 23 is a perfect age to know if you want to kill yourself. I wanted to at eighteen but didn't, but Holy fucking crap I think I knew better then. I didn't do it because I wanted to see what would happen and fucking LOOK. This is what I stayed alive for?? Fucking THIS ????

And I can't fucking believe that when I asked my (now ex) gf of five years if she wanted to marry me, she fucking said "I THINK SO" girl, are you fucking fr right now. Five fucking years. I need you to be locked and fucking loaded. But whatever. I realized I wouldn't want to be with someone who placed me so low on the priority list. But whatever. Whatever. I feel like God stripped me of all my fucking stats. I'm gonna kill myself for real. I can't take this shit, y'all, I fucking can't. I can't believe I'm back in my hometown and I have to constantly watch my back because god fucking FORBID I run into anyone from high school and they see me and what I've become. I will actually kill myself on the spot, I can't handle that. And Jesus fucking CHRIST, I cannot fucking believe I'm living back with my mom. I fucking hate that woman and could go the rest of my life without ever talking to her again. Jesus fucking christ. And having to live with her stupid boyfriend. Fuck him. No he didn't do anything to me but I had a dad and don't need to be out here saying "my mom's boyfriend" how fucking cringe are you kidding me. I played the game and I failed SPECTACULARLY.

Holy fucking fuck, bro. I can't believe this shit. Seriously. Fucking seriously. You gotta be kidding. Youth really is wasted on the young because what do you mean I'll be 25 in 2 years and barely started anything. How incredibly fucking pathetic. Holy fuck. There are sixteen year old kids on Broadway and shit and I'm what? Struggling to get a degree because my dad died in my second year and it wrecked my progress?? It wrecked me so bad that my mom had me move back in for health reasons?? Are you fucking serious??? This is what my fucking life is right now? I can't fucking believe it. I'm gonna be policed constantly. I just know it. And I'll never feel comfortable in this house. And they didn't even bother to clean even though they fucking said they would. God, Jesus fucking christ y'all, I have zero hope. Optimist? Hopeful? Nope. Not me. Not any fucking more. This is it. I want to kill myself and I might actually do it because holy fucking shit WOW. This is insane. I did not stay alive at eighteen for this ridiculous shit. Unacceptable. Completely unacceptable. I have no hope anymore. I'm done. I'm so fucking done.

I fucking tried. Extremely hard. It wasn't good enough and I'm finished fr. I can't keep taking shit like this. I wasn't built for it fr. 5 years (18 to 23) feels like a long enough waiting period. I'm done.

[rugggie]

"SCARY CAT!"

My school bus graveyard obsession has come back, and what better way to indulge it than writing abt it🤞

Sbg Drabbles... my favorite characters x fem! Reader

LOGAN FIELDS.

You and Logan have been friends forever, forever being since middle school, 6th grade to be exact. So You've been though a lot of each other's cringe phases, relationships, family issues, drama.... So it was no wonder you guys were so close, what you didn't expect was to be going through this together. Every single night since the savannah field trip was like hell, Roman eating creatures trying to kill the 8 of you, running like your life depends on it, being scared to go to bed at night, not being able to tell anyone.

And now to make it even worse.. you just watched the side of your best friends stomach get scratched open.

"H-how bad is it.." Logan chocked out though sobs, while everyone just looked at it "why aren't you guys saying anything?! It's bad isn't it, it hurts I'm scared!" He said in obvious panic.

You walked over to him sitting down in front of him "no, you're good bro." You spoke calmly smiling, lying to his face.. even though on the inside you were also freaking out. You took your hand cupping his cheek, and wiped his tears away.

He was still crying, like a lot but he was definitely calming down. "Ashlyn, can you pass me the pain medicine?" You said, still trying to keep your composure.

"Mhm, here.." he said passing you one of the pills, you took it out of your hand offering it to Logan "here, take this it should make it hurt less..."

Logan didn't say anything, he just nodded his head and swallowed the pill..

"Hey, Logan remember that one time in like 8th grade..." you paused scooting into a more comfortable position "..where you got in trouble for calling Mr W an idiot,, because he marked your test wrong and wouldn't change it.. than I felt bad and called Mr W a mother fucker so we could both get lunch detention together..?" Logan nodded, looking at you smiling a bit.

"Oh! and that one time my dad took us fishing and I got a fishing hook stuck in my hand and I made you pull it out?" Logan laughed a little.

"That was horrible, I was so scared I was gonna get it more stuck" he mumbled with a shaky voice.

"Oh my god.. remember 7th grade?!" You said with wide eyes as if you were having flash backs, which you were...(dark times..) flash backs to your bad anime phase, and Logan's stranger things phase.

You laughed, giving you the look.. you both knew what you were talking about. Everyone around you two looked very confused.. aiden even started asking questions that you both could never answer.

You kept talking to him as Ben patched him up, it was definitely helping him calm down.. you grabbed his hand when ben was about to disinfect the wound. Logan death gripped your hand biting his lip. You just smiled and kept bringing up stupid stuff the two of you have done.

It was probably obvious to everyone but Logan that you liked him, Taylor asked you about it before, You tried denying it but it was obvious

You were the only person in the world that would sit and listen to his 10 hour rants about astrology, the only person in the world that stands up for him constantly, you wanted to be the only person in the world that liked him. It was painful to see him hanging out with Taylor, of course you knew Taylor wouldn't ever do something like that to you. But you couldn't help but think he would end up liking her she was smart, funny, positive, and so so pretty. You never knew when the right time to tell him was, or if he even liked you like that.. but for now its best for everyone if you just stay friends.. you wouldn't wanna go messing everything up, and you definitely don't want Logan to feel awkward around you.

AIDEN CLARKE

You and aiden were the definition of polar opposites, he was a thrill seeker, dare I say crazy.

You were carful, and a lot more prone to freaking out in situations like this.

"A-Ashlyn what was that... it looked like the thing we saw at the weed house..!" you said, panic and fear present in your voice. You had just left you, and your friends shared room. "A-and where is {friends name}?!" You started to cry, wanting to turn back and go get her.

"She wasn't in the room with you?" Taylor gasped, more than a little freaked out. You shook your head no, Ashlyn stayed quiet leading the two of you out of the room.

"Taylor!" You heard a relieved voice, that had to belong to Tyler yell.

"Ty!?" She said in what sounded like disbelief.

"Oh so it was you guys, why are you running? And why are you crying y/n?" Aiden teased with his usual smile on his face.

"The thing from the serrel weed house.. it was in Ashlyn and Taylor's room.." you breathed out, still terrified.

"What's going on!?" Tyler asked, hugging his sister.

"There's something in the-" Ashlyn all of a sudden stopped mid sentence turning around.. the thing was there again. Right in front of you again.

You looked at it wide eyed, still trying to put some sort of reason, or logic behind this all, tuning out everyone. You were pulled out of your thoughts by Aiden grabbing your hand and pulling you out of the room. You all got out safely, making sure to slam the door shut.

"W-what was that thing.." Logan stuttered out, shaking with fear..

"According to Tyler, that would be the "prank" from earlier today." Aiden said, in a very condescending tone. "You know what I find kinda weird,, no one's even come out of their rooms even after all the screaming and banging." The door knob wiggled, thankfully Ben grabbed it before the thing could get out

"That could've been bad!" Aiden smiled, and laughed

"Could've?!?" Tyler spoke angrily, looking at Aiden like he was crazy. You still haven't said anything, you just kept staring at the door still gripping Aidens hand. completely disconnecting from everybody.

"STOP TAKING THIS AS A JOKE, ITS BEEN BAD! THE SKY IS RED FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" Tyler angrily yelled Trying to knock some sense into aiden, they kept bickering only to have it interrupted by Taylor's quiet voice

"G-guys.." she paused almost in fear "look down.." everybody but you looked down, you did not want any part of this anymore. "Out of sight out of mind" you kept repeating in your head

"How far away is your room?" Ashlyn asked Aiden

"5, or 6 doors down.." he said almost nervously, well you could tell he was nervous. The grip he had on your hand tightened.

"Y/n, Aiden give me the strings off your shorts.."

"Kayyy,,,, why?" He asked pulling his string out of his pants..

You quickly pulled it out handing it to her.

"Y/n.. are you okay, your face is really pale.." Ashlyn said with concern examining your face..

"Y-yeah I'm totally finnee" you weakly whispered out, still on the verge of pissing your pants. She told you guys her plan on using it to trap the devil spawn. She told everybody to go, you were still paralyzed with fear, and the person who was dragging you alone let go of your hand tying the rope to a pole.

Ben let go of the door so the others started booking it, Aiden yet again grabbed you and yanked you along with them. You were struggling to keep up with everyone, maybe due to the fact you're fairly unathletic. You were already panting and gasping for air by the time the thing was right behind you. Turing your head fast enough to get whiplash you saw it reach out for you, Aiden tugged you forward causing it to only rip the back of your shirt. Ashlyn crashed the cleaning cart into it, slamming it against the wall.Ben gave you a look of concern, like he was asking if you were okay. You nodded your head sorta understanding what he meant.

"Y'know.." Aiden said letting go of your hand and grabbing a bottle of bleach "this could be pretty fun!" He laughed looking like an absolute crazy man, he sprayed the bleach in the creatures eyes.. the side of its face started to melt and its mouth unhinged, as if it was supposed to be screaming but none of you could hear anything.. well except Ashlyn, by the why she was plugging her ears.

"Why isn't it screaming..? Is it mute lol" Aiden said tilting his head.

"Ew, why does it look like that.." you whispered finally getting a good look at its terrifying ugly face.

"Y/n, Aiden c'mon! We gotta go!" Ashlyn yelled at the two of you.

"Nah c'mon I think we can take 'em! There's enough bottles-" Aiden went back to making his crazy face, you grabbed him this time pulling him back and running to the room with Logan, Tyler and Taylor.

You shut and locked the door, finally relaxing and falling backwards onto the floor trying to catch your breath. "GAH!" You yelled and jumped back as the monsters started banging on the door.

"Maybe we should put the couch in front of the door.." Ashlyn said. You guys moved the chair, you sat on the floor next to Aiden calmed down a little.

"Hey, Aiden.. thank you for saving me like 6 time out there.." you sheepishly whispered, avoiding eye contact with him.

"Nah, it was nothing! But it was super funny to see you so scared!" He laughed hardly elbowing your side.

"Nuh-uh! So not funny it was scary!" You protested elbowing him back

"Okay, scared cat.. you couldn't even move" he said laughing 10x harder than he was before.

You giggled with him a little bit, sorta embarrassed about how much of a baby you were being in front of him. And even more of the fact that you guys were holding hands.

[maddsmallow]

i'm so sorry to ONCE AGAIN complain out loud about people who see hank and connor as father/son but. oh my god. tell me you don't understand hank's character at all without telling me you don't understand hank's character at all (or even connor's), or you just truly don't care to actually acknowledge the canon of the game because you don't like the ship, which by the way is FINE.

hank's entire story in the game is being unable to cope with the death of his very human and very irreplaceable son. to even insinuate that cole is someone whose position in hank's life could be replaced would likely get you fucking shot in the head and then hank taking himself out too because that idea is just TOO painful and he finally just completely snaps. the idea that no one understands what cole meant to him, the absolute disrespect towards hank's son to think he could just be replaced as if he were a trinket and not his child that he raised and loved more than anything in the world—it would just be too much for hank. you don't just replace a child. it's not the having-a-child/being-a-father that hank wants, it's cole. it's being the father to an alive, happy, and healthy cole. not fucking connor, an android he met like a week ago. who is an ageless robot programmed to both look and act like a late 20s/early 30s man and NOT a child, and has the entire world's information in his brain, and who kills people and goes to a sex club. to think hank would replace his son with connor is straight up just delusional. hank would be so genuinely mentally fucked to do that—like i'm talking some dead dove do not eat level delusional shit where hank is truly convinced connor is his son or could pretend to be his son to ease the pain of having lost cole. that he can just force this robot who just gained his freedom to play pretend that he's his son and everything will be hunky dory. connor is not "hank's chance to be a dad again." connor is his own person who is NOT a child or even childlike, hank IS a dad to a dead son, and the fact that it seems like some people think you can just replace your dead child is just truly fucking wild and absurd to me.

and don't even get me STARTED on the whole "but hank calls connor son!!" thing. no the fuck he does not. i call people bro all the time. they are not my brother. i say "oh my god!" all the time. i'm not even religious LMAO. it's just a thing you say, it's just a cultural thing. and yeah, maybe it doesn't make sense for hank, a millennial, to say that, seeing as it's much more of an older generation type thing to call a younger person, but david cage is a fucking idiot and didn't actually care to make hank very millennial-like at all, so like. no, he does not call connor his actual fucking son. there is nothing here to argue that this is proof of a father/son relationship. hank's just an old guy being portrayed by and written by older-than-a-millennial guys.

that all being said !!! i'm not even coming at this from the perspective of a shipper. canonically, the very most they ever are is like, trauma bonded besties. i think people who are like "hankcon is SO ACTUALLY CANON" are also way up their asses and incorrect LMAO. at the very very most, they are just. close, trusted friends. there is so little or even nothing to point to anything romantic or father/son. hank may be a slight mentor to connor just having been a human for a long time and has lots of experience, but that in no way makes connor a child in comparison, nor does it mean it makes hank his dad. and hank even being a mentor-like figure is also debatable lmao, hank asks questions that make connor question cyberlife, but he's not even the one to make him deviate.

also if connor is a child, why is reed900 okay? why is ANY android ship acceptable? (no hate for the ship, i'm just making a point that what's applied to connor/hank for some reason doesn't apply anywhere else and it's so hypocritical.)

anyways. i can't stop anyone from believing what they wanna believe. literally made a post yesterday about how me not tagging my posts with ship names isn't the win people think it is cuz i'm still over here considering it ship art just cuz that's how i like to see them lmao, so that absolutely also applies to people with different views. this was just. me ranting about how fundamentally flawed the argument that they are father/son is. again, they aren't anything more than friends canonically. there is NO evidence to point to anything more than that or enemies, and to stand there and say the game CLEARLY portrays them as father/son is just literally factually incorrect.

david cage saying he based them off of his relationship with his dad is straight up bullshit and he only said it after the game came out and he became aware of the ship because he's a homophobic jackass. bryan dechart, if you pay attention, is SO careful during dbh streams to never say anything to imply anything other than just friendship between hank and connor because that's all there is, and to say that father/son or romantic implications were there would be to shake a jar of killer bees and split the fandom even further when all he wants to do is enjoy the goddamn character he acted lmao. clancy brown is on record saying NO they do not have a father/son relationship. there is NO EVIDENCE. to support it. or even anything more than just. friends. it is not canonical. stop calling father/son canonical. it is not canonical. you just don't like the ship, and that's FINE.

basically. even as a shipper, platoniconk is where it's at LMAO

that's my rant bye

[scary-lasagna]

Ok so slender gets a girlfriend and keeps it a secret for a while. Then one day he comes home with his baby and asks the proxies to babysit for a day. How do they react?

tldr: slenderbabies are weird

Slender

He would never ask them to baby sit a child when they can't even look after themselves for a day.

Toby has an unbeaten record of hurting himself at least one a day for the past three years. Jack has been keeping tab.

He will, however, allow them the grace of witnessing his first born child stuck to his face.

Slenderbabies are uber strong, and there's no way to get the child off of him.

But if there will be anyone to figures it out, it'll be the proxies.

"Tickling is a no-go." Brian announces.

So there sat Slender, perched at his desk and sweating buckets while gazing at the clock. He would surely be late at this rate. And as much as he loved his little mouse, he need them o f f.

"What about the keys? Anything?" Masky questioned.

"Negative." Kate answered.

"Oh my god guys, it's a kid, just pick it up." Clock stepped forward and put her hands around the baby's little pudgy tummy and attempted to pull them off of Slender.

It didn't work. Just like the 6 other times they've all tried.

Slender sat in silence, the only thing announcing his disgruntle was a quick sigh.

"Cocomelon! Kids love Cocomelon!" Toby was already pulling out his phone.

"Do not! Cocomelon makes them violent, I don't know why do not ask me." Slender spoke up.

Toby slowly puts his phone away.

"Any chance you can just show up at the meeting like this?" Masky asks.

"I cannot see."

"But you don't have eyes anyway..." Kate whispered, thoroughly confused.

The statement was ignored, and Offender walked in with Sally, considering Splendor was gone on a business trip. "Nice glasses."

"Shut your mouth." Offender only snorted at his brothers remark before lifting Sally up on his desk.

"Beat fire with fire."

Sally only giggled at the baby, greeting with a rub on the back. "How are you?" She smiled. She was met with only babbles.

"Would you like to come play with me? I have tea sets, toys, and Mrs. Rachel, and plushies, and we can watch a movie together."

While Sally was talking, she manages to wrap her arms around the baby, tugging a little, but to no avail.

"I HAVE THE BEST IDEA!" Toby suddenly yelled, startling nearly everyone in the room. most importantly the baby.

It started wailing and Sally tried to soothe it.

Slender debated if he started to cry, if it would help the situation.

Toby returned soon enough with a small shiny ball, one of Sally's.

"You gave me an idea Sally. Maybe it doesn't want Slender, just his head."

Slender slowly looked toward Toby, hoping he could feel his seething anger.

"I'm serious!!" Toby exclaimed, and stood to the side of Slender, present the ball within the baby's sight.

The wailing turned into confused sniffles, and then unlatched one clawed hand, reaching toward the ball.

"Bro, I'm gonna be the best fuckin dad, I swear." Toby grins, before quickly slapping a hand over his mouth, realizing he cursed not only in front of one child, but two.

Sally giggled, but also helped the child, maneuver from Slender's face to the ball.

Slender took a sigh of relief. A moments peace before he realized he was desperately late, and shot out of his seat.

"I need to go. Just don't let them watch Cocomelon." He called over his shoulder, and headed toward the door.

Toby was still holding the baby latching onto the ball as Slender left the manor.

"What do we do now?"

___

Slender returned home after a soul-crushing meeting to meet almost the entire manor piled sleeping around the couch.

His baby was still clinging to a now deflated ball. Upon gazing at this sight, toys, baby food, adult food, and children's books were scattered amongst the creeps. Spaghetti somehow got on the ceiling.

Little stinker wasn't even a year old and they've already accepted them as their own, sacrificing their own sanity to calm the baby down as it wailed when the ball popped.

Who knows how long it took for everyone to fall asleep. Slender settling himself down by Masky, who was barely keeping his eyes open. His head eventually drooped onto Slender's shoulder, who was reading a picture book out of curiosity.

Maybe he will let them babysit more often.

[ur-local-bisexual]

HEARTSTOPPER INCORRECT QUOTES

Tao: Sir, can I listen to music?

Mr. Farouk: No Tao, you could be cheating!

Tao: Oh ya! Because Ed Sheeran gonna sing to me isn’t he! *eye roll*

Mr. Farouk: Tao, are you mocking me!?

Tao: Yes! That’s what I do when someone says something stupid!

Mr. Farouk: Also, Darcy! Why do you have your feet up on the desk?! Would you do that at home!?!???!

Darcy: Would I put my feet up at home? Yes you moron!

Mr. Farouk: Apologize for that right now!

Darcy: But whyyyyyyyy?!?!

Mr. Farouk: Until you apologize, you’re not going to lunch

Darcy: I don’t care! The food here tastes worse than your nans feet!

Mr. Farouk: It’s your time you’re wasting!

Darcy: It’s not though is it.

Aled: Sir, don’t act like you don’t want to go see Mr. Ajiei after class!

Mr. Farouk: How the fuck do you know about that!!!????!!!!

Class: *Histarical laughter*

Nick: *Talking to Charlie* Ok, so, you make 10 meals you’re not a chief, you make 20 paintings you’re not an artist!

Charlie: *See’s Ben lying on the floor*

Nick: BUT YOU KILL ONE PERSON!!!!

Charlie: I’m going to a party

Tori: Are you going to get drunk?

Charlie: No

Tori: Are you gonna get in fight?

Charlie: No

Tori: Are you gonna get dick?

Charlie: No

Tori: Then why the fuck do you wanna go to a party?!

Tori: Some people have a boyfriend

Charlie: *blinks*

Tori: Some people have a girlfriend

Charlie: *blinks*

Tori: But IM stuck with DEPRESSION!!!???

Charlie: You wanna know how I’m like a bicycle?

Nick: Because when people learn how to ride you, they never forget. *smirks*

Charlie: *blushes* I..I was gonna say because I was 2 tired 😳

Charlie: My boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. What should I do?

Tori: Punch him in the gut and when he doubles over in pain, kiss him.

Elle: Tackle him!

Tao: Dump him!

Darcy: KICK HIM IN THE SHIN!!!

Nick: NO! TO ALL OF THOSE! Just ask me to lean over!

Imogen: *About Ben*Look at that face! How can anyone spend all day with that face and not fall in love?

Nick: Well, at some point that face starts talking.

Charlie: Tell me something I don't know.

Tori: Without mucus, your stomach would digest itself.

Charlie: Tell me something else. Something less disturbing.

Charlie: Quick, take my hand!

Nick: *Takes it* Now what?

Charlie: Oh nothing, I just wanted to hold hands.

Tori: I was just having a bad day.

Charlie: You threatened to decapitate a man over a parking space.

Tori: A very bad day.

Darcy: You can de-escalate any tense situation by saying 'Are we about to kiss?'

Darcy: It doesn't work on cops though.

Darcy: I’m invoking the “no judgments” clause of our relationship.

Tara: Oh God, what did you do this time?

Harry: So Nick, are you hanging out with us tonight?

Nick: Sorry guys, I can't. Charlie and I have plans.

Harry: Oh come on! Bros before ho-

Nick: *Glares*

Harry: ...Your boyfriend.

Tao: There's nothing sadder that cold hot chocolate.

Aled: Sure there is! What about cold hot chocolate with ketchup in it?

Tao: ...I'm going to pretend you didn't say that.

Charlie: How many times have I told you not to bring wild animals into our apartment?!

Nick: ...None?

Charlie: I shouldn't have to tell you!

Elle: You can't rush perfection.

Tao: I'm not rushing perfection, I'm rushing you.

Darcy: I have good news and bad news.

Tara: What's the bad news?

Darcy: The kangaroo pooped in the shower.

Tara: We don't have a kangaroo.

Darcy: Well, that takes me to the good news.

Nick: I wasn't that drunk last night.

Charlie: You kept flirting with me.

Nick: So?

Charlie: You asked if I was single. And cried when I said no.

Charlie: Hey sweetie, why are you crying?

Nick: It's just so beautiful how much they love each other!

Charlie: ...This is a commercial.

Charlie: For detergent.

Darcy: Do you think if skeletons were real boner would be a slur for them?

Elle: ....skeletons are real.

Darcy: That's the spirit, Elle. They're real for me too.

Elle: You're the most jealous guy I know!

Tao: You know other guys? Who are they?

Nick: I know I've been talking about him all morning, but another thing that I love about Charlie is that he just gets me.

Tao: Can he come get you right now?