#I don't want him fixed

[a-hazbin-reader]

[hinamie]

post-graduation trip airport looks

[o0kawaii0o]

no mercy 😭

[bubbarnes]

“... yeah, I think Bucky could be a great dad.”

[knightofleo]

Angela Orosco Silent Hill 2

[sheerakk]

[thekittyokat]

you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah

[homielander]

i'm sorry but hotd positing that all women are innately cautious and peaceful and compassionate while men are rash warmongers is not a feminist win! i could see the value in everyone being hesitant to go to war at the onset of the story because it intensifies the tragedy of this house tearing itself apart, but at this stage, rhaenyra has as much reason for bloodlust (if not more) as the men on the show. it's pretty heavily implied that the shock of her usurpation killed her daughter, aemond killed lucerys, and one of aegon's kingsguard snuck into her quarters with the intent to assassinate her. most importantly, she has felt entitled to the throne since she was named heir as a child. she should be incensed! rhaenyra's inaction in the season 1 finale due to a sudden aversion to violence was already stretching believability -- this is the same woman who expressed nothing beyond mild shock at vaemond's beheading, who plotted with daemon to have an innocent man killed to facilitate laenor's escape while declaring that the realm should fear her. to have rhaenyra insist on peace at this point in the story, when war is already well underway, is incredibly irrational.

this problem is not limited to rhaenyra. alicent ordered larys to kill mysaria's network of spies and any suspected traitors in the red keep, presumably without any due process, and neither of these decisions was depicted with the gravity they deserved for a character who was once horrified by any bloodshed. meanwhile, aegon had a few extra ratcatchers executed, and not only was the direction sufficiently ominous, but we also got a lengthy monologue from otto about how it would spell his doom. it is probably pointless to bring up rhaenys because she is written less like a believable human being and more like a mouthpiece for the writers to assert whatever political opinion they believe is correct in a given episode -- but she did very much kill dozens if not hundreds of smallfolk last season. she did do that and very clearly did not care. why is she an advocate against war? for both alicent and rhaenys, there is a strange dissonance where their actions are at odds with their attitudes about opposing large-scale war for the good of the realm. i'm not saying this dissonance cannot exist, but it should at least be acknowledged.

helaena raising concerns about the losses suffered by the smallfolk might have worked in isolation, but for it to accompany everything above is exhausting. can none of these women be allowed to feel for themselves?

[redstairs]

Bringing up Marazhai be like

Looking at you Reddit

[byersandhighers]

Fairly certain Mike did see Will crying, he just didn't say anything. Like I don't think he realized it was because of Will feeling sad over him specifically but I thought it was obvious he did see Will crying but didn't draw attention to it. I also think it is very important for both of their characters and their relationship, as well as very telling of how deeply Mike cares for Will to not say anything when he is crying, to just act normal and move on without addressing it.

Every time in the show that Mike notices Will's emotions and behaviors, especially his negative emotions, Mike never brings it up until after (unless he thinks Will actively needs help like when Will looks scared). This is the same Mike Wheeler who noticed every eyeroll and time Will was moping at Rink-o-Mania when he was literally there hanging out with his girlfriend, but he didn't bring it up until later when the two of them were fighting. The same Mike who, in season 2, said he knew something was off with Will because ‘he was quiet today’ when his friends just wrote it off because he’s always quiet. Mike always notices Will acting up but doesn't usually say anything in the moment unless he thinks Will is in trouble, he just lets him feel things and if it’s relevant later he'll bring it up.

It’s implied he’s very perceptive when it comes to Will's emotions and behaviors and he is always watching, especially when Will doesn’t seem like he is doing well, so it would be so bizarre if he didn’t notice Will crying beside him. It's likely he just didn’t see a reason to bring it up, so he didn't. For all Mike knows, it may have just been that talking about El makes Will think about his sister who is currently missing and in potential danger, which is a justified reason for someone to cry. Or even that the painting reminds Will of the time in his youth he missed out on due to the mind-flayer and upside down and that his childhood of campaigns in Mike's basement is over, or Will could be grieving the party he is no longer near and his friends he is so far from. Or he could be so overwhelmed by many emotions over many different things that he doesn't know how to articulate.

Mike usually just registers what Will is feeling and not why Will is feeling that way. Mike never needed to know why because him and Will are a team and, before this season, Will was, to Mike's knowledge, always open and honest with him (hence where Mike got the 'friends don't lie' thing he told El in the beginning) and Will would come to Mike when he wanted to talk about things, so Mike probably figures even if their relationship feels strained right now, that wouldn't change and if Will wants to talk about it, he will come to him, much like how Jonathan doesn't push Will to come out.

I think it's important to draw parallels between Jonathan and Mike's behaviors, how both act towards Will: both are overprotective of Will, both very adamant early on in the show about how being 'weird' does not equate to being bad, and also about how Will doesn't have to feel negative about being different because they are weirdos as well (making it a shared experience so he doesn't feel alone). Both are also careful when it comes to making sure Will feels safe and comfortable which includes not forcing him to talk about things unless he wants to (while still reassuring him they are there for him should he want to).

This is probably why Mike doesn't bring up that Will is lying (he knew El's letter well enough to know she missed the flowers and brought her some he handpicked so they would be Hawkins flowers, so he would also know about the painting and how El had no idea what is was or who it was for, because Will wouldn't even let her see it), but he doesn't bring that up because he thinks Will probably has a reason for lying, and he trusts Will, so he is happy to let Will share in his own time. This is another parallel to Jonathan and Will when Jonathan hints he knows Will is not straight but doesn't force Will to talk about it, instead letting Will come to him at his own time when he feels ready. I don't think it's a coincidence both Jonathan and Mike act the same way towards Will because both probably witnessed first-hand how Lonnie treated Will.

When Will came back, we know Mike was protective, which we don’t know if it was him trying to cope with the trauma of not only losing Will for a long time but also the recent loss of El, or if he was always that protective over Will, but it is implied in season 1 this was a status quo of sorts from before Will went missing. Mike would feel protective over Will and he would fight back with no self-preservation in mind, especially when people would act in similar ways towards Will that Lonnie did (like the bullies making fun of Will for being gay just like what Joyce brings up Lonnie would make fun of Will for, which prompted Mike to shove them before getting saved by El), which is most likely due to Mike being around during the abuse Will faced from his father which caused him to be protective of Will, and to a lesser extent all his friends (not lesser in extremes, I mean season 1 he jumped off a cliff about to kill himself for Dustin and from Dustin immediately screaming for him not to do it, fully convinced Mike would, and to be fair he does without even knowing El is there to save him, we can infer it is a common thing that Mike is willing to go to great lengths, even risk his own safety, in order to protect. But in terms of frequency instead of amplitude, he is chronically protective of Will while only really protective of his other friends when he feels they need particular protection he can provide).

Mike said he became friends with Will on the first day of kindergarten which means they were likely around 5 and Lonnie was still in the picture. This was before Lucas and Dustin, as Mike says Will was his first friend, so Mike probably knows more about it than either of the two of them, and like Jonathan, was there helping Will through it and supporting him/protecting him to some extent, for longer, which is why he is likely so perceptive of Will's emotions and what Will is feeling, even if he can't pinpoint why.

We are told this whole time that Will is a ‘sensitive boy’, and Lonnie would abuse him and try to change him for that as well as his perceived sexuality, so actually I think it’s important Mike didn’t say anything and let Will cry because it shows Mike provides space for Will to feel, space that others didn't and sometimes still don’t. He lets Will be sensitive and cry even though both of them have had people trying to teach them to suppress their emotions, especially their fathers (Mike's parents, especially Ted, did not respect Mike's grief over Will when he was missing and was not taking him seriously because Mike was not following those same ideals of toxic masculinity Ted and Lonnie were both trying to enforce, to different degrees, in their sons).

Mike is actively trying to stop the cycles Will, and himself, endured. He is trying to be conscious but accepting of all Will's emotions so Will doesn't have to go through what he did with Lonnie. He refuses to give up on or abandon Will when he went missing because Will had a dead-beat dad who stopped caring and abandoned him. And Mike not only praised his art but kept every piece given to him, with binders of it in his room and hanging it on his walls, keeping and displaying it proudly when we know Lonnie didn’t like Will making art because it fueled the ‘sensitive kid’ who was queer narrative he tried to force out of Will.

That's also why Mike immediately looks so guilty in the rain scene when he said what he said about Will's sexuality, because he realizes it is something Lonnie would say. That is also why he immediately goes to apologize despite the same rain he was telling Will not to leave because of. Why he prioritizes making amends and admitting wrong-doing when it comes to Will in a way he doesn't even do with his girlfriend. He is trying to break the cycles and not enforce the toxic masculinity Will painfully had to endure with Lonnie for years and he is trying to, despite feeling the effects of toxic masculinity himself that he is trying to overcome in his own 5-season arc, make sure it is not in his relationship with Will, especially not by his own hands.

Overall, I guess I think it’s not that Mike didn’t notice, but that Mike lets Will feel whatever he feels without judgement or trying to change or 'fix' it. He just sits beside Will and acts normal because he doesn’t want Will to feel like it’s bad to cry; he wants to normalize emotions between the two of them because he wants Will to have a safe place to express emotions, which is important for someone who’s dad abused him and enforced toxic masculinity before abandoning him because he saw him as ‘too sensitive’. It shows Will he is not 'too sensitive' for others and that people won't try to change him or abandon him for being himself, or even for being 'too much' or 'emotional', like his father did and probably convinced Will everyone would do. I don't think Mike realized the crying was because of him, but I think he did notice that Will was crying. He noticed the what and trusted that Will will tell him the why when he is ready.

[dilfmobius]

LOKI 2x05 | "Science/Fiction"

[respectthepetty]

I wanna talk about the toe

You know, the scene where Fujisawa squeezed Sei's injured toe!

In the first episode, Kaori stated that a broken nail was actually a simple fracture and really just needed a little care to strengthen it.

Which is exactly what she did for Sei

But just like everything else in this show, this discussion isn't about a toe. The toe could be about the embarrassment we feel, so we continue to suffer even when an easy fix exists.

And it could also be about the true source of pain.

Kaori and Fujisawa are not bad people, and the show hasn't presented them as such, but Sei questioned if Kaori was aware of how upset Hagiwara was about the growing distance in their relationship.

Then the show immediately answered that question through Ayako's testimony. Kaori isn't just aware; she's happy about their situation.

Sei also asked what Kaori didn't like about Hagiwara.

And the show answered that as well. Kaori doesn't like that he is a man.

They aren't broken. It could just be a fracture. And there is an easy fix. But instead, they continue to suffer.

Then there is the actual toe, which is Sei's toe. He hit his foot on the table, in the house of a man who designs furniture.

Yet Fujisawa is rarely home.

Sei hurt his foot after Fujisawa avoided their conversation, and Fujisawa hadn't been home or spoken to Sei since, which is why he barely found out that Sei had hurt his foot after dinner. Then, he immediately squeezed the toe.

Regardless if Fujisawa designed the table that Sei accidentally walked into, he was part of the reason Sei was in pain. And at first, I felt he wasn't to blame and thought he didn't even notice. But just like with Kairo, he is aware. And he keeps doing it. He squeezed Sei's toe. He just heard the story about how it was hurt. He was looking directly at the toe. And. He. Squeezed. It. He wasn't even gentle when taking off Sei's sock.

Sei excuses the behavior and tells him it doesn't even hurt anymore, but this is the basis of their entire relationship it seems. Fujisawa does something that hurts Sei, and Sei lets it go. It's a vicious little cycle.

Once again, the show hasn't painted anyone as the villain, yet Sei has specifically stated multiple times who he thinks is a "good man," and it isn't Fujisawa.

During this scene, Hagiwara questions Sei about what Fujisawa does for him that makes Sei want to be nice back to him, and the only thing of substance Sei offers is that Fujisawa agreed to live with him.

He states Fujisawa is patient with him, but Fujisawa also demands he never meet up with his pen pal. Sei also states that Fujisawa concedes often, yet the friend they just encountered stated that if anyone wanted to speak to Sei, they had to go through Fujisawa.

It's all very normal behavior due to the circumstances. None of it seems malevolent. And yet Fujisawa wasn't interested in Sei's foot until Sei mentioned that he spoke to his co-worker who asked his girlfriend to look at his foot. Then, he squeezed the toe, which is an odd reaction. Or is it all very normal behavior due to the circumstances?

Sei doesn't have friends. He never attended the work dinners before. Yet now he is going out for dinners, has a co-worker whose girlfriend helped him, has another co-worker who is a bit afraid of him and he finds it funny, and a pen pal who has a girlfriend who he chats with through an email account that just happens to be Fujisawa's name and birthday.

Which reminds me of this co-worker and her wild story.

The woman is in a bad relationship. She is aware that she is in a bad relationship. There is an easy fix. But she doesn't leave.

Everyone, including Kairo and Fujisawa, are very aware of the situation that is unraveling in their relationships, but nobody wants to apply the easy fix. They are avoiding the issues and causing more suffering. Which is strange because Sei and Hagiwara have been shown to take responsibility and fix problems.

So why doesn't Kairo tell Hagiwara that she isn't sexually attracted to him anymore when he tries to initiate sex? Why doesn't Fujisawa tell Sei about his feelings (of jealously) instead of squeezing his toe? Because the easy fixes require communication, and they refuse to communicate, which is why this entire relationship between Hagiwara and Sei extended beyond one email.

Because it was never about the toe.

[bubbarnes]

“... Hollywood's finest.”

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

was rereading the convo dirk has with dave and was captivated by the subtle work done to indicate how very much this was not actually a good or productive convo for dirk, and a capstone on the toxic mess that is him and hal

in the exact same conversation that dave is explaining, and dirk is seemingly accepting, that beta!dirk/bro should not have been allowed near a child, dirk chooses to bring up hal. and he does it to be really shitty.

DIRK: Creating him was an interesting exercise I guess, but over the years I came to see his development as one of my biggest mistakes. DIRK: He sort of turned into a monster. But I could never bring myself to get rid of him, or even really blame him for being an asshole, because he wasn't actually that different from me.

like... hal is dirk's younger brother/kid, right?

that's part of the reason that when hal starts using a different color, it's dave's red. in one part, the orange/red split is evocative of dave/davesprite, casting dirk/hal as foils, but... i don't think the lil bro/"kid i'm responsible for" vibe is unintentional, either. especially when paired with the fact that the brainscan is of 13-year-old dirk, and that the words "nascent" and "emergent" are used to describe hal's consciousness, all implying an element of youthfulness or childishness to him that isn't applied to dirk.

hal is fully sapient, has real feelings (by dirk's own admission, too), and is also, like, completely his own guy. he's not a dirk splinter, he's a computer housing a dirk splinter, and he and dirk only think they're the same guy because their individual issues happen to perfectly align in the worst possible way.

so if you look at their relationship through that lens instead - a frankenstein/frankenstein's monster scenario (which is also directly and intentionally an exploration on parenthood) at best and dirk Pretty Much Actually Just Making A Child at worst - doesn't it become really fucked up that Dirk tried to kill him?

Doesn't it become really fucked up that Dirk is outright calling him a "mistake" and a "monster"?

the other really interesting thing here is when he talks about Jake - specifically, the way he chooses to "make it up to" jake. which is to say, he doesn't.

DIRK: I wouldn't be surprised if he was trying to avoid me as much as possible. DIRK: I'm sure that's for the best. DIRK: I think I need to stay out of his business for a good while, so I don't risk poisoning another innocent kid's life.

This isn't a solution. Hell, this isn't even an apology. This is just self-isolation, self-punishment, more of Dirk's martyrdom complex and teen boy diva bullshit.

yes, dirk hates himself, but the actual toxic loop he's stuck in is one where he doesn't address any of his problems. he identifies what his issues are, he feels really bad about them, he can enunciate them very clearly to other people, but then, instead of fixing them, he inflicts punishment on himself and then calls it a day.

We know that this is a bullshit thing to do to Jake because we know the situation from jake's side of things.

GT: Do you think you could relay the same sentiments to dirk? GT: I was thinking about all the stuff he said to me while we were all telling him to dance. GT: And yeah i was really being a prick when i ran away to lomax. GT: He was right about everything. I should have come clean about wanting some space.

jake wants reconciliation! jake wants to address the fact that he failed and apologize! jake wants to be friends again!

self-punishment is not a solution, and while I don't think dirk is entirely cognizant that he's doing it, by venting to dave - who literally has no idea what's been going on in dirk's group - he's able to frame the story - ahem, control the narrative - to justify his own shitty choice to not actually improve as a person, but instead to wallow in his own self-inflicted misery. If he'd said what he did about Hal to Jake, Roxy, or Jane - all of whom recognized hal's personhood and emotional reality to some degree, and spoke with him extensively - how would they respond? If they knew he'd tried to kill Hal, how would they respond?

The answer to that is why he doesn't tell them, and has got to be ticking in the background to explain why Dirk chooses to isolate himself from them. Put simply, I think the reason why he seems to think his friends never know the worst of him is because he deliberately avoids showing them. If he showed them, they wouldn't stay quiet, and if they didn't stay quiet, he'd actually have to... do something about it, instead of just indulging in some self-punishment and walking away feeling like the problem was solved.

and i think part of why he's so terrible to hal is because, on some level, he recognizes that he does kind of owe it to hal to be better. because, you see.

Hal is his kid.

hal's existence, hal's circumstances, and hal's suffering are a direct result of dirk's decisions, and hal is taking him to task for them. the things dirk really resents about hal are less the ways that hal is a reflection of dirk, though that's in there too, but the fact that hal is asking dirk to take responsibility. actual responsibility. that hal keeps confronting him with the fact that he's the one who caused hal's plight, he's the one with the power to fix it, and he's the one choosing inaction and avoidance.

TT: I'm guessing she's touching base to remind me about the party tomorrow. TT: I don't know what to tell her yet. Or Jane, for that matter. TT: It could get pretty awkward. TT: I have no idea if Jake will be there, and I'm not about to write another cringe-inducing message of desperation for him to ignore. AR: Would you like me to calculate the probability of his attendance? TT: Fuck no. AR: Are you sure? AR: My probabilities are extremely precise. TT: Your probabilities don't mean dick. AR: I could hack his chats, and determine what his plans are. TT: No. Don't do that either. [...] TT: Just don't do anything. Seriously. TT: No hacking, no calculations. Do absolutely nothing.

That's why Dirk takes such exception to the AI thing, too.

AR: In any case, my use of the responder responder is ironic. TT: It's not ironic. TT: YOU were ironic when I made you. TT: Then you became self-aware, and ruined irony forever.

then you became self-aware - in other words, "then you became a free-thinking entity and those jokes became reminders that your situation is fucked up, and i'm the one who put you in it". in other words, "and then you were born, and i had to be responsible for that". because, after all, the AI jokes that dirk hates so much? those aren't a reflection of dirk. that's all hal, baby. dirk can't use his "i hate you because i hate myself" excuse on that.

now i don't want to make it sound like i'm saying that dirk is a monster or anything. he does care, very fucking deeply, about his friends. and i think this conversation was genuinely very cathartic and helpful for dave. and it is, genuinely, very tragic that he does actually hate himself to the point where he finds it difficult to believe that he can get better, or even that he deserves to get better.

but those feelings have transformed into a vastly more harmful attitude of wilful, obstinate refusal to change, and even outright resentment and fear towards those that would ask him to. it's subtler than some of the others, but his convo with dave really highlights that dirk has not finished developing as a character yet. and i think it's really neat.

[frutavel]

I'm in an Illidan phase again but this time I've been actually drawing some Illidans. The colors here aren't final and I'm still trying to nail down how I wanna draw him but we're getting somewhere.........

[satorusluver]

People sleep on Beyond Birthday because he's only ever alluded to in the anime but there's so much fic/smut/angst potential there. Like if you like the idea of yandere L, Beyond is RIGHT THERE as what is functionally a much darker version of L (yes I know he doesn't actually look like L, and in fact I headcanon him as being taller and tanner than L and of a completely different Asian ethnicity). I mean, for real, the guy is

-a genius

-cursed (what else can you call being made to see death dates everywhere your whole life)

-tall (probably over 6 ft considering he towers over Misora, who is 5'7")

-riddled with childhood trauma and identity issues

-an actual literal serial killer

-deludes himself into thinking he's special because the only death date he doesn't know is his own

-not L but is obsessed with mimicking/surpassing L

-mentally unstable af (dude literally sets himself on fire)

-notably creepy (but I mean so is the real L)

-probably super kinky let's be real he's too fucked up not to be

Like c'mon it could write itself.