#I don't wanna post the chapters I've already written yet

[froizetta]

Since it's WIP Wednesday, I've decided to post an excerpt from a longer WIP to motivate myself to write it! If it's technically on the internet, I can't just not finish it, can I? Right??? Fingers crossed I can make this a regular thing with other WIPs...

So anyway, here's part of chapter 1 from my early-career superbat identity porn fic!

“The thing you’ve gotta remember,” Jimmy said firmly with a slightly overenthusiastic wave of his jack and coke. A little bit of liquid sloshed out onto the countertop. “The thing you gotta remember. Is.” He blinked. “Ah, cripes. What was it again?”

Clark absently took a sip of his own drink. The whisky was at least a pleasant burn in his throat, even if it wasn’t exactly his favorite flavor. “Gee, I don’t think I can help you with that, Jim.”

Jimmy beamed. “Oh yeah! The thing you’ve gotta remember is, that there’re plenty of fish in the sea.”

Clark couldn’t quite suppress the wry quirk to his smile. “Wow. That’s some original advice right there.”

“No, but for real though!” Jimmy insisted, slamming an emphatic fist on the table. “Just. So many fish. A whole ocean! Of women! And, uh, also not women!”

“That does sound like a lot of people.”

“Exactly,” Jimmy said, nodding sagely. “You’ve just gotta widen your net, is all. To more than, like, one fish-woman.”

Ah, yes. Clark was honestly a little surprised it had taken him five drinks to bring it up. Apparently, Jimmy had needed some Dutch courage before embarking on the ‘romance advice’ portion of the evening.

Clark could humor him on it, at least. “You mean Lois?” he asked.

“Yeah I mean Lois! Don’t get me wrong, Lois is great. But she’s just one fish,” Jimmy said emphatically. “Like, sure, maybe she’s a really cool fish. Like… Like koi or something. Koi are actually pretty amazing, did you know they—” He paused and then shook his head. “Wait, no, this isn’t the time for fun fish facts. What I mean is, just because koi are cool, doesn’t mean there aren’t equally cool salmon. Or tuna. Don’t let the koi blind you to all the…the really hot tuna around you. You know?”

Jimmy looked concerningly pleased with his increasingly labored metaphor. Clark charitably chose to blame this on the alcohol rather than Jimmy’s abilities as a writer. “Maybe you’re right, Jim. I guess it’s pretty silly to be so stuck on her, huh?”

Jimmy frowned. “Well, I wouldn’t say that. I think you guys would be great together, you know that.”

“I’m not sure her new fella would agree with you,” he said. Embarrassingly, the glumness in his tone wasn’t entirely feigned.

“Don’t be so pessimistic,” Jimmy said insistently. “We don’t know that it’s like that. Maybe it’s just a pity date?”

It wasn’t just a pity date, Clark was pretty sure about that. Lois had been wearing the perfume she wore whenever she wanted to impress someone. And yes, that was a creepy thing to notice, but he couldn’t help it, okay? Super-senses make a lot of things really hard to ignore.

He shrugged. “Maybe. But it’s none of my business anyway. I know she doesn’t see me that way, and that’s fine.” And it was. He knew that to Lois, he was just a coworker – and a bumbling, awkward, country bumpkin of one at that. Even though he definitely hammed up the act to create distance between Clark Kent and Superman, the real Clark Kent still wasn’t the kind of guy who would appeal to someone like Lois. She’d want someone classy and sophisticated. Someone like her.

Probably someone like whatever guy she was on a date with right now, in fact.

“And, I mean… it's Lois,” he added, as neutrally as he could manage. “She’s out of most people’s leagues. It’s not— I mean, I never really thought I had a shot with her, you know? So I’m not about to get all bent out of shape because of one date. Honest.”

Apparently, this wasn’t what Jimmy had wanted to hear, at least judging by the way his face fell. “What? No no no, that’s not what I— Look, I’m not trying to say you don’t have a chance there. In fact, I think she’d be lucky to date you. But what I mean is, it’s not the end of the world if she doesn’t see that. You’re an awesome dude! I just think you deserve to be happy, with or without Lois.”

“Oh,” Clark said, then blinked and ducked his head, taken aback by how hard that had hit him. Jimmy really was a great friend. He suddenly felt guilty for spending their evening together daydreaming about eating pizza on his couch. “Shucks, Jim, that’s…that’s real nice of you to say.”

“I’m not being ‘nice’, I’m being honest. Listen veeery closely, Clark.” Jimmy set his glass down and grasped Clark around the shoulders, looking him straight in the eye.

Clark tensed. “Um. What’s happening.”

“Shush,” Jimmy said. “You’re listening.”

“I am?”

“You are. Now focus and take this in. Really internalize it.” His gaze was a little unsteady, but still intense and undoubtedly sincere. “You – Clark Kent – are a bona fide catch.”

Clark couldn’t help but let out a snort of laughter. It would be easier to take Jimmy seriously if he wasn’t starting to slur his words. “A ‘catch’? Are we still on the fish metaphor?”

Jimmy blinked. “What? No, no. Look, you’re smart, you’re a successful reporter. You’re probably the nicest guy I know. And you’re tall, like…what, 6’1”? 6’2”?”

“Something like that,” Clark half-lied with an easy smile.

“Yeah, so. Tall. Trust me, as a short guy, that’s a big plus. Everyone loves tall guys. You’re, you know, the tall, dark and handsome type. Like Superman!”

His smile froze. “Oh?”

“Yeah! Chicks love Superman. Not saying you look much like him, of course—”

“Of course,” Clark agreed.

“—but you’ve got, like. A similar appeal.” He squinted up at Clark. “You know, I’m not the best judge for this type’a thing, but if I feel like you’d clean up real nice if you made the effort.”

“Hm. I dunno, Jim…”

Jimmy was insistent. “You could change up your style, maybe. You ever tried contacts?”

“I’m afraid they don’t really agree with me,” Clark said apologetically. Which was true, in a sense. The glasses were pretty integral to the whole secret identity thing, after all.

“Shame,” Jimmy said, finally letting go of Clark to lean back. But as he did, something over Clark’s shoulder caught his eye. He grinned. “Oh, hey, my first piece of evidence that you’re a catch: I’m 90% sure that guy is checking you out right now.”

“What?” Clark said and made to look behind him.

Before he could turn, Jimmy grabbed his face in both hands. “Shhhhh!” Jimmy said urgently, even though Clark wasn’t saying anything. “You can’t just look. That’s waaay too obvious.”

Clark was pretty sure Jimmy was being more obvious than looking himself would have been, but he stayed obligingly still while Jimmy peered over his shoulder at the mystery man.

“Okay,” Jimmy said eventually. “So I’m not great at telling when guys are hot, but I’m pretty sure this guy is hot. And, again, definitely into you. I’m 95% sure.”

“I thought it was 90%?”

“Sure, but I’ve accumulula… accumama…” He frowned and shook his head. “I’ve got more evidence since then, see? So I’m surer now!”

In retrospect, he probably should have insisted on Jimmy eating something more substantial than bar snacks over the last couple hours. “Sure, Jim,” he said gently. “It’s, uh, getting pretty late, though. Maybe we should head home soon?”

“It’s—” Jimmy squinted his watch and balked. “It’s only 10:30, so no way! I’ve got a new mission now, and it’s to wingman you with this probably hot guy. Trust me, I’m a great wingman.”

Clark raised an eyebrow. “Are you? What would you even do?”

“You know, the usual. Hey, have you met my friend Clark? He’s like 6’2” and a hotshot reporter at a big newspaper. And then I just slide out—” he made a slow swoop with his hand “—and just like that, bam! Take that, Lois! Clark’s got a hot date of his own!”

Clark raised the other eyebrow. “That’s…not particularly subtle.”

“Well, subtlety isn’t a part of the Olsen Wingman Experience. But it works!” Jimmy said brightly. “I even managed to wingman my ex-girlfriend while we were still dating, although that was mostly an accident. But it was still very effective. Thanks to that, I know for sure it works.”

“Oh!” Clark said. And then frowned. “Oh. I’m, uh. I’m sorry to hear that. Do you wanna talk about—”

“Nope,” Jimmy said firmly, decisively. “Tonight isn’t about my borderline traumatizing romantic history, tonight is about you. You and this totally hot guy who I’m, like, 99% sure is into you.”

“Mm. I see you’ve accumulated more evidence.”

“Yeah, actually! I—” Jimmy’s eyes widened. “Okay, crap. It’s 100% now. He’s coming over here.”

Clark blinked. He’d been half-convinced Jimmy had just been imagining things, but… “He is?”

“He is! Just be cool, okay?”

“Jim,” he began in protest, but before he could say anything else there was a presence at his back. Clark turned to greet the stranger. And stared. Because— Huh. Huh?

Either those whiskies had been a lot more effective on him than he’d thought, or that was Bruce Wayne leaning ever-so-casually against the bar next to him.

[starry-bi-sky]

ive been hesitating to ask this bc youve been on a roll with the clone^2au (which i am frothing over) but could i poke you for some childhood friend au? bc GOD i wanna see how danny reacts to reuniting w jason or how the rest of the batfam react to learning jason never told danny of his resurrection or wondering if dannys gonna put jokers dead body on a display/offering to jasons grave. i havent been normal about this since i first read it and was wondering. thank you for your writing.

RAAAAHHHH DON'T BE HESITANT I AM JUST AS FERAL OVER MY CHILDHOOD FRIENDS AU AS I AM WITH CLONE^2 I AM DELIGHTED BY THIS. Like.,,,, i literally love them,,, so much. I can't listen to The Crane Wives without thinking of them.

(which is my fault - the ao3 fic of them has literally only crane wives lyrics for each chapter title and summary (posted AND the ones not written) so of course im gonna associate with them.)

(if you wanna listen to some of their songs while thinking of cfau here are my recommendations: "Once & for All", "Here I Am", "Hollow Moon" is a Danny AND Jason song to me, this would be my go-to song for an animatic of CFAU if i had the skills for it. "Tongues and Teeth", "Curses" and "take me to war" is a heavy cfau danny song to me, and of course, "the moon will sing")

Like they're BEST friends dude, they're two sides of the same coin and when they were kids they would do this thing where their 'fingers crossed'/'double-crossed' was them hooking their index fingers in the fingers crossed gesture.

and i'm actually currently rewriting my original post into a more fic-like format, and when I'm done I'll post it on here under the cfau tag - with the original post still in tact. But its,,, gonna be so long dude,,,, the original behemoth was just over 9000 words,,, and I've written 3k words already of the new one and we haven't even reached Jason and Danny reuniting at the gala yet,,, i need to get back to that,,,

and then to answer your questions!! god im almost hesitant to answer because i dont wanna spoil the little fic i had planned for it but also like,, its not like im gonna spoil everything, right? and answering the questions isnt the same as writing the scene down so!!

i love danny and jason's reuniting, like i've thought about it SO much and I've thought about it happening after Danny kills the Joker. I know the reveal could have been before that, and it could have been equally just as dramatic but like??? Thematically, doing it after danny kills the joker is SO good. To me at least.

Because like?? Jason's been in somewhat denial about danny's plan to kill the joker for months. ever since danny told him that he wanted to at the gala. And from Jason's pov its not even technically a plan. He sees his best friend for the first time after five years and his best friend still isn't over his death. He hasn't stepped foot in Gotham since his funeral and now suddenly he's here.

And he's still so full of grief over his death that he tells a masked vigilante that he's going to kill the guy that did it, who lives in said masked vigilante's city. And danny's got that look in his eyes that Jason knows so well that means he's being serious. And yet he still doesn't know if he should believe him or not.

And then he does. Danny kills him. And Jason can't fucking believe it. And when he goes and sees Danny, Danny's hands are still covered in blood. And that reunion? God like a fucking firework show. Danny's so fucking angry, and pissed, and hurt, and so goddamn overjoyed that he's alive and here that he sends them both to the ground, and if he doesn't calm down he's gonna take out the power in a five block radius.

there's just so, so much yelling on Danny's end. And then so much crying, first from Danny and then them both. because god, you're alive. you're here. i've missed you so much. i'm never letting you out of my sights again.

and Joker's death! God I don't want to actually say too much about that, but the way I have it set up thematically makes me actually not want danny to take any part of the joker with him as an offering. and he may actually forego that particular ghost etiquette and offer something else as an offering to Jason in substitute to not bringing him the Joker's heart/head/ritualistic body part.

Because you know what the last thing a man whose been spending the last two decades of his life building himself up to be larger than life would want? A death that's unremarkable. :) and that's all i'll put on the matter for now.

and the batfam!! they technically already know that jason hasn't told danny he was resurrected, and plenty of them have mixed feelings on them. largely bruce and dick i think, considering they saw firsthand how close jason and danny were when they were kids.

Dick was honestly surprised at first when he found out that Jason hadn't told Danny he was alive - and on one hand he understands the reasoning for it, and on the other hand he isn't sure if it was such a good idea. Especially after he sees Danny again after he arrives back in Gotham and sees just how badly Jason's death was still affecting him. But it's not like he's going to try and convince Jason to tell him - he can make his own choices, even if Dick has questions about them.

Bruce has much the same thoughts as Dick, so there's not really much to add here other than he might bring it up once or twice to Jason like, vaguely. And then immediately drops it when Jason shuts him down. He might actually somewhat...?? prefer that Jason hasn't told Danny because that raises a lot of questions and could jeopardize their identities. However, again, Jason can make his own choices and there's not much Bruce can do about it other than disapprove from afar.

Tim who knew of Danny from stalking the Wayne family shares similars sentiments of being surprised that Jason didn't tell Danny, but again, yeah, understands the thought process to some extent. Doesn't bring it up ever.

Everyone else who hadn't seen firsthand how close Danny and Jason are don't really have much opinion on it -- Jason didn't tell his best friend he was alive, great, he also didn't tell them either so it's not like its that much of a surprise. It would've been more of a surprise to them if Jason had told Danny before he told Bruce and co. Damian may make a comment or two about Jason not telling Danny, but its not about how he can't believe he didn't tell him or anything like it.

[oh-koenig-my-koenig]

Fit for a King - random scene #5

A little short scene inspired by this artwork from @Lyther_bs on twitter

Fit for a King - Masterlist

a/n: this is just 400 words of almost 10.000 I've written since last week (that haven't been posted yet), the plot thickens and the chapters get longer and more serious which makes it harder to pump them out consistently

(NSFW: little bit of smut and degradation, little fluff)

"Are you serious right now?", I ask him as he crawls over me, caging me in with his arms. He drags his dick over my ass, basically dry humping me already. I flick on the safety of my rifle and arch my back to look up at him. His eyes are hooded, lust dragging the lids down as he keeps rolling his hips. "You look so good, lying here, with your ass up like that.", he coos. "Are you fucking serious?", I ask him again and roll my eyes. He tsks. "Did you just roll your eyes at me?", his voice gets this authoritative tone I much more associate with the Colonel than with König. My spine goes rigid and he notices, chuckling at it.

"Hmm, don't you want to be a good girl for me?", he teases me. What a question. Of course, I want to. His hand reaches around my throat, securing me in this position, with my rifle still under me. "A little free use slut for your Colonel?" My breath hitches, but at the same time I wanna roll my eyes at him again. "I can't believe you're turned on right now.", I tell him. We're both wearing full tactical gear and all he can think about is fucking me. He chuckles, the sound turning more into a cackle again. "Well, I think you look the most enticing when wearing all your gear." I narrow my eyes. "Bold coming from someone who has seen me naked." This makes him fully laugh, until I shush him. Oh, it makes him look so handsome when his eyes light up like that and you can see his laugh lines as he grins down at me. "Okay, okay, you're right, Mauserl. We shouldn't do this right now." He leans in and puts a kiss on my lips, even when there's two masks between us, the gesture alone makes butterflies erupt in my belly. He lets go of me and gets up again. Before he goes away, he bends down and boops my nose saying: "I expect you to be in my tent after dinner, ready and waiting on your knees." I groan at the mental image he puts in my head. "All naked except for the mask... 'cause two can play this game, Prinzessin.", he calls back to when I requested for him to show up like that in my room.

[blanketorghost]

A taste of Something New (Pt. 3)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

The new taste is heartbreak, actually <3

This third one was supposed to have the resolution included but I realized this chapter was already 3000 words, also the last part is written in both Azul and Yuu's perspectives so perchance it is best that its separate from this one. Anyways stay tuned for the fourth maybe fifth parts. I may take less than a whole six months this time to write it!

Summary: Against his better judgement, Yuu wants to bring Azul a meaningful souvenir from the scalding sands.

Pairing: Yuu Fujisaki x Azul Ashengrotto (one-sided?), Azul Ashengrotto x Jamil Viper (implied, one-sided)

Timeline: During/Post Al'ab Narya and Ch. 4. Pre Ch. 5

Notes: Azul may be OOC? Have never been good at writing him convincingly imho

—

With a pep in his step and a nervous smile, Yuu exited the light music club. He'd mulled over it in class, planned his speech during lunch, and agonized over the details after school. He didn't even play anything during club time, even after an eternity of Kalim whining and goading him to join in with the rest of the members.

The light music club was just right across the board game club, and even if he would've spent time in there anyway, today all he could do was anxiously look at the slightly ajar door a few steps away. Would it be too weird if he just came in and gave him the book?

Yeah... definitely.

Honestly, the best option here was to just hand it to him after club session's over. He just needed to casually greet him and give him the book as the guise of a souvenir. He could explain the details later.

But what if he came out with a friend? He didn't really trust on his guts enough to think he could give him the gift then, he'd have to brainstorm new possibilities for encounter.

He clutches the piece tightly against his chest, wrapping paper crinkling to his touch.

"Wat'cha looking at, Yuu-chan?"

Cater's voice takes him out of his trance, rudely interrupting that vicious cycle of what-ifs and but-thens he'd already crafted in his brain about optimal gift-giving times.

"Oh, uhm..." He hides the package under his blazer and looks at the ground, hoping to find a good excuse inside the cracks on the floor. "I needed to ask for Azul's help for something about the gourmet club. I was hoping if I gave him something in return, he might say yes more easily."

"Really? Well, good luck with that." Cater raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms. "I've heard around the grapevine that Azul-kun's been super stingy about creating his famous contracts now. It's a shame. I was totes hoping we could do some sponsorship deal where I advertised the lounge on Magicam for free meals..."

"Huh. I guess he really turned a whole new leaf with that whole..." Yuu trails off as he smiles in spite of himself. He wasn't very sure that that was the reason Azul had stopped, but he could at least pretend maybe he had caused a positive change. A bit of wishful thinking never hurts anybody. "Never mind, I mean- Thanks for the warning. But I think he would be really interested in what I have to offer." He waves Cater off.

"Well, I mean, if you wanna you can use the points I've been saving up at the lounge to get a meeting, I honestly get them mostly for the discounts on seasonal meals, but I don't min-"

"Oh, I already have enough points for a meeting." Yuu takes his loyalty card from his pocket. Usually, he used the points to get some tutoring sessions for Grim or get him a study guide. It was convenient, and Azul's teaching method was the only one that actually worked. Yet, he had decidedly started to save up for a private meeting right before the City of Silk trip. He knew Azul was busy and stingy with his time, but if all other attempts to talk to him failed, he had to at least hear him out If he used his points, right?

"Aw, you're all prepared and everything! Gotta give it to Yuu to always be one step ahead." Cater gives him a smile, then checks his phone and sighs, cheerful demeanor diminishing slightly. "Welp. I gotta go to my dorm now. It's my turn to feed the flamingos. Good luck with your Gourmet Club business stuff!"

"Yeah, thanks." Yuu waves at all the members of the light music club, and, one by one, the classroom was left empty.

It feels like an eternity before the classroom adjacent to him opens its door, and he waits and waits for the students inside to tidy up and put back everything in their shelves until finally, the members of the Board Game Club also say their goodbyes for the day.

He could hear someone ranting inside the classroom to seeminly no one in particular, some students groaning or shaking their heads as they left the room. Some time later, Azul's voice rises through the chatter to retort to that one ranting, most likely. He scans the crowd until he finally sees a white tuft of hair exit from the room, black gloved hand raising to say his goodbyes to the people that were still inside.

He was always so outwardly nice and polite, he really just had a way of charming people, really. If only he used that power of his for better purposes... still, he couldn't deny the fact that that scheming was also attractive. Very much so, in fact. There was a reason why Yuu ended up falling for him so fast, after all.

“Yuu-san?” Yuu doesn't even notice when Azul turns to see him, his eyebrows arching in surprise.

“Ah- Uh– Azul-” He can barely string out a coherent sentence as he scrambles to hide the package behind his back— wait, what was he doing?! “I just… wanted to say hi.”

“Well then, hi.” Azul flashes him a smile. “It's nice to see you. Perhaps we could talk more at length later, though. I have to get the lounge ready for openin-—”

“Wait!”

Oh dear, that came out louder than what he intended.

Yuu clears his throat, taking a second to look down at the floor to compose himself. “Can't you spare a couple of minutes? It won't take long.”

“I'm sorry, Yuu-san. But I need to help Floyd prep the ingredients for today's menu and make sure Jade doesn't tamper with any of them, I'm sure you understand.”

“I see…”

“If you want, though, I could maybe clear up some time later?”

“I was actually hoping we could meet today… If you have time.” It's like Yuu's body was working on its own, completely overriding the script he'd had so carefully prepared. He was supposed to just give him the gift. “I wanted to talk to you about something important.”

Oh dear sevens, now he was making things sound way more serious than needed. Just give him the gift already!

“Ah.” … Did Azul just blush right now? Maybe he was seeing things. “I think I am free, but I'll ask Jade to schedule you.” He purses his lips. “I'll… Send you a text with the details later this evening.”

“Alright.” Yuu holds his breath as he hands Azul the card, who then rips it in half to signify it's been redeemed. “I’ll… Be waiting, then.”

With that, Azul flashes him another small smile and nods.”I’ll see you later, then.”

“Yeah… see you later.” 

Azul gives Yuu a small wave as he walks away, looking back just once to examine him before turning his heel towards the hallway at the left. And when Azul is out of view, he feels his nerves give out just a little bit…

just a little.

...

What... was he thinking?!

In his panic, he had used up what was supposed to be his hail mary. Sure, Azul was a busy guy and maybe he wouldn't be able to talk to him in a couple of days, but the recipe book could wait!

Giving the book to him after club activities was just a first option, he could've come up with others later. Save his points too!

Ugh, he really needed to learn not to blank when being alone with Azul.

~ 

It’s only 5:00 PM when Yuu receives that fabled message from Azul. 6:00 to 7:00 PM.

Huh, he thought meetings were only supposed to last 15 minutes. Perhaps Azul was feeling generous today. He wouldn’t be needing all that time, though.

Still, Yuu felt one hour to prepare was nearly not enough. Now that his initial courage waned after his first failed attempt, all he could feel was a growing pit in his stomach as he got ready. He didn’t want to keep Azul waiting, though. And before he knew it, he was already at the door of Mostro Lounge. Five minutes early, too.

“Good evening, Yuu. Here for your meeting?” Jade bows as he approaches, and Yuu reflexively bows to him as well. “I hope your conversation is productive.”

“Ah… yeah. Is Azul still in a meeting? I can wait if need be.”

“Oh, not really. Azul only accepted your request for today. You’re the only client he’ll be seeing.” Jade gives him a wide, closed-eyed smile. If his aim was to soothe him, it had the exact opposite effect on Yuu, getting a small jolt of adrenaline course through his body when he bares witness to that creepy grin of his. “In fact, you can go in now, if you’d like.”

“... Right.” Yuu slowly nods and starts walking towards the door, allowing Jade to open it for him. It’s not like the VIP lounge was an unfamiliar sight. In fact, he often found himself hanging out with Azul there, doing homework or chatting the afternoon away while Azul filled out some paperwork. It was a pleasant, quiet environment. Something Yuu severely lacked in his daily life.

As soon as the door opens, Azul looks up from his desk and smiles, lowering his right hand and placing his pen down. “Yuu-san. You’re early.” He states, then uses his left hand to gesture at the chair in front of him. “Take a seat. Do you mind if I continue working while we talk?”

“Hi…” Yuu gives his crush a sheepish smile as he walks over, Jade closing the door behind him. As he sits down, he can now feel a paradoxical heat irradiate from his chest. Wasn’t he just feeling chills before? “And no, of course not. Please continue.”

“Thank you. How was your weekend? Jade mentioned that you and some other students went to a festival.”

“Oh, yeah. Kalim-kun invited us to the firelit festival at his hometown. The Silk City at the Scalding Sands.” Yuu explains, trying to get more comfortable in the leather-bound chair. It usually felt so plush, but now he couldn’t seem to find a good, comfortable position. “Viper showed us around town.”

"So I trust you had a pleasant trip, then?" Azul lifts his head up from his papers and flashes another friendly smile.

It took Yuu weeks of careful observation and millions of failed attempts to discern a genuine smile from Azul Ashengrotto. But once he got that first laugh, that first smirk or chortle, he committed it to memory. It wasn't too different from his all-business one— he still crinkled his eyes and kept his mouth shut. But there was a way in which his lips curled outwards too much, and his brows furrowed ever so slightly when he would pretend.

He was glad Azul would naturally smile more around him.

"It was very fruitful," Yuu leaves the package on his lap, and leans forward. He rests his chin on the back of his palm as he glances at Azul's writing. "Can I ask what you're working on today?"

"You can, and I'm just taking some notes after receiving the most recent customer reviews." Azul keeps smiling as he resumes scribbling at the margins of what Yuu can now see are printed out screenshots of some website. "What brings you here today? If you're looking for a position, permanent or temporary, I unfortunately have no spots open right now."

"Pity." Yuu hums as he eyes some of the comments. The amount of hate had certainly decreased in the months after his overblots. "I could help with accounting if you'd like. I used to do that sometimes."

"I've got that covered. I actually quite enjoy doing the math myself." Azul's smile turns into a small smirk. Cute know-it-all pout included. "I really do mean it when I say I have no spots today. It's a shame, though. I do enjoy you being around the lounge."

Right there, Yuu's heart does a flip.

"Thank you. But actually, that's not the only reason I'm coming here today." He would've liked to. If anything, most of Yuu's time was spent thinking up excuses to come to the lounge more often and not become broke in the process, but today was more of a do-shit-and-dip kind of deal. "And I'll preface, I've used my loyalty points for this meeting. So you have to hear me out."

Azul's eyes widen slightly in surprise, and he looks up once again, placing his fishbone pen on its holder. "Ah, right. You did tell me you had something important to tell me.” He purses his lips, and a hint of pink appears on his cheeks once more. “I'm listening."

Yuu has to consciously stop himself from taking a deep breath and betraying his nervousness. Instead, he straightens up and moves his hands to hold the book. "Well, I've been told that you've been looking for ways to freshen up the menu for this coming month, and..."

"If Grim has somehow convinced you to try and pitch me a tuna-themed menu, tell him I'm still not interested." Azul’s expression tenses as he  speaks in a serious tone, but Yuu can't help but snort at the answer.

"No, no. It's not that." Yuu covers his mouth with a hand as he regains his composure. "Has he actually tried to do that? Or— wait, I'm getting off-topic. But it's not Grim nor tuna related, promise."

“He may have once or twice.” He says nonchalantly as he places the papers aside, and, upon hearing Yuu's response, Azul's placid smile returns, and his posture relaxes a bit, crossing his arms. "I'm all ears, then.”

"Well, during my trip to Silk City, I had the opportunity to sample some of the popular dishes," Yuu starts. He'd created this pitch before he even got to writing the recipes down themselves. He knew that, with Azul, he needed to make his offer to actually look alluring— appetizing, even, if he were to even entertain the possibility of a novice cook gifting recipes to him. "And I've found some interesting recipes you might like." Azul opens his mouth to speak, but Yuu quickly starts again. "And before you tell me that I am in no position to pitch you any possible dishes, or that you've already stocked up on Scalding Sands recipe books, I'd like you to take a look at what I've brought first."

He slowly takes the wrapped book from his lap and hands it to Azul with both his hands. It takes Yuu all his self-control to keep his hands from shaking as Azul, now perplexed, and perhaps curious, takes the package and examines it. 

Their hands touch.

Please, for everything that's sacred, please don't let him blush.

Azul stares at it blankly for a few seconds before he takes off the tape that holds the bottom fold of the package together and slides the notebook from its wraps. And as soon as he does, the aroma of various spices strike both their nostrils. Cumin, Saffron, Paprika— all generously donated by the Asim's cooks.

It also strikes Yuu for the first time just how humble the notebook looks compared to the luxurious office. It looked out of place, foreign, and Yuu couldn't help but purse his lips in slight embarrassment. "I... Um..." God, this wasn't the time to start stammering!

"I... Interviewed the staff from Kalim's kitchens... and gathered as many recipes I could find." As Yuu steadies his voice, Azul starts turning the pages. Expression completely unreadable. "Most of these, they told me, were passed down through generations of trial and error, and I- well, I also documented each dish as best as I could."

"The Asims were kind enough to also allow me to sample their spices. Each is paired with a dish, but I made sure to gather enough for you to experiment if you wish to." Yuu's eyes leave Azul's face and look down at the pages, goodness knows he needed to take a break from trying to figure him out if he didn't want to just faint right then and there, and he was already feeling that annoying lump in his throat that threatened another mistake in his speech. "I know it'd be futile to just buy you a recipe book, since you'd probably have many, so I tried my best to gather as many recipes as possible from a variety of sources.... I, um..."

“I can't accept this. I'm sorry."

Yuu's eyes widen as he gains that same blank expression. His words hit him like a truck, and nothing could've softened that punch to his got nor the sense daze he was struck by. "... Huh?"

“I appreciate the effort you put into this, but… if you were strapped for money, you didn't need to get me anything.” A sharp, stinging pang pierces right through his chest, and Yuu feels mouth go dry. His body is somehow tense yet limp, and he just now notices how cold the VIP room is. "Jade probably mustn't have told you. But it's a personal policy of mine not to accept any gifts." Azul's brows furrow, whether it were with pity or sternness Yuu couldn't care to figure out. "Leaves too many loose ends for me to follow, you see."

"... I..." Yuu's left speechless as Azul puts the wrapping paper over the book and nudges it towards him, sliding it over the dark wood desk. "... I don't want anything for it, really." Yuu's voice is drained of any confidence as he meekly whispers, still in shock. "You can even make me sign a contract if you want."

"And as kind as your offer is, I can't make any exceptions." Azul shrugs, and Yuu's heart sinks. His tone isn't even laced with a sense of remorse or pity. It's... completely and utterly calm as he rejects Yuu's work. “Besides, as you've mentioned, I most likely already have the recipes somewhere in my library. Though having them all compiled in one is certainly convenient, I'd rather do so myself.”

"I still want you to have it." He glances down and leaves the book on the desk, untouched, then takes a step back.

“Yuu… It really isn’t─”

"If you don't want it as a gift, then take it... t-then take it as trash or-..." he breathes in, "Anyway. What matters is that it's yours. Throw it away, sell it, I don't care. But it's yours." He tries to act nonchalant, but he can already feel the lump in his throat becoming larger, cutting any air from getting to his lungs.

Why did he even say that?!

Anyways, before Azul can say or do anything else, Yuu simply walks out the VIP Lounge and out of Octavinelle. He pushes out a smiling Jade and ignores a greeting from Floyd. The atmosphere was just so heavy, suffocating. And all in all, Yuu was sure this was the most pathetic he'd acted in front of Azul ever.

And all he could hear was the sound of Floyd's annoyed whine to his brother just as he crossed the mirror portal door.

"Heeeeyyyy~~ what is up with Shrimpy today~??”

[floras-imagination]

Robbers, forever? 🖤 matty healy x reader

CHAPTER 1

series masterlist

summary: Y/n and Matty break each other's hearts multiple times over the years, yet they find themselves unable to stay away from each other... and this is the beginning of their love story 🖤 authors note: This story is inspired by some of my fondest memories shared with an ex (but I've made some changes to better align the story with Matty's character), and each chapter is accompanied by poems I've written about that relationship. I've posted them on my poetry blog, so just click on the links you'll find in the chapters:) Hope you enjoy it as much as I do 💘 (i think it's so cuuuute) word count: 2,6 k warning: y/n struggles with a restrictive ed in the first few chapters (but it's just kinda mentioned in the diary entry at the beginning)

August 2012

Dear Diary, I wish I were stronger. I wish I could beat this illness, but I just can't. Every time I try to recover, I fail. I've been doing so well in the last few months, but it's always the same. As soon as I'm doing better I mess it up again. Why do I keep lying to myself? "I'm in control." "Just one more day." "I can stop if I want to." But I never do. A day turns into a week, and suddenly weeks have passed, and I can't control it anymore.

----------------

Y/n sat in her living room, having some dinner while watching the news. As she glanced at her phone, she noticed an incoming call from an unknown number.

After considering it for a moment, Y/n became curious, so she decided to answer. "Hello?"

"Y/n?", a male, familiar voice asked.

"Matty?", she asked slightly confused, immediately recognizing the man on the phone.

"Surprised?"

"Uhm... yeah, kind of, I guess. Haven't heard anything from you in ages. How've you been?"

Matty and Y/N have known each other from school. After they graduated a few years ago, they sometimes still bumped into each other in town, enjoying a nice chat and updating each other about their busy, somewhat messy adult lives. Though their paths seemed to cross every once in a while, they never really tried to stay in touch.

"Great, actually," he answered. "George and I got a bit bored, so I was wondering if maybe you wanna hang out with us?"

"Hang out with you?"

"Yeah, we'd pick you up."

"Okay, let me get this straight," the girl stated. "You and George got bored..."

"Yep."

"and out of all the things you could do, you chose to ask me if I want to hang out with you?"

"Now what's wrong with that?" Matty asked, as if it was the most normal thing in the world, to call someone you have never called before, asking them to hang out on a casual Thursday.

"Well, I don't kn... Wait! Where did you get my number from?"

"Doesn't really matter, does it?"

"It does matter somehow."

Suddenly, the sound of a car horn made Y/N jump.

"Nah. We're here by the way. You're coming?"

"Matty! It's 9:30; I'm already in my pajamas!" she exclaimed.

Matty laughed. "I don't care what you're wearing."

"And who even gave you my address?"

"Just get your ass out here!" he snickered into the phone. "Now!"

"You're insufferable!"

"Yeah, I know," he shrugged it off with a smirk.

"Give me at least a sec to put some clothes on." Not waiting for an answer, she hung up. Despite her confusion about Matty's suspicious call, she changed into a pair of jeans and a hoodie, quickly grabbing her jacket and keys as she went downstairs to leave the house.

Matty sat on the passenger seat of George's car, his arm casually dangling out of the open window. "Hi, Y/n!" he greeted her with a big smile on his face, causing y/n's bewilderment to grow.

"Hi, Y/n!" George called from the drivers seat.

"Hi...", she hesitantly answered, shyly waving her hand toward his direction.

"Come on, get inside!" Matty said excitedly.

"Matty, I still don't kn..."

"Sshhh!" he cut her off, pressing his index finger on his lips. "It'll be fun. I promise."

Y/n opened the door and placed herself on the backseat, putting on her seatbelt as George started the engine, ready to drive off.

"How are you Y/n?" Matty asked.

"Uhm.. fine, I guess. Bit tired. I have work tomorrow."

"Are you still working as a nurse, Y/n?" George asked.

"Yes, I am. How's your music thing going?"

"Absolutely amazing", Matty answered immediately. "We're currently working on our first album. It's gonna be a fuckin' banger, isn't it George?"

"Oh, definitely!", George added.

"That's cool. I'm so happy for you guys. Can't wait to hear it," Y/n grinned.

"You're gonna be the first to hear it when it's done.", Matty beamed.

George shook his head, trying to hide a chuckle as he glanced over to the overly excited Matty. "What?" Matty reacted.

"Nevermind," George now laughed.

Matty shook his curls out of his face. "Idiot."

"Where are we driving?" Y/n asked as she slowly got more comfortable in the presence of her old classmates.

"I don't know," both Matty and George stated in unison, looking at each other as neither of them had a clue about their destination.

"Maybe we can park the car over there," Matty pointed towards and empty parking space he randomly saw.

-------------------------

After George parked the car, Matty quickly left the car to open the door for Y/N.

Their gaze locked for a moment, as she looked up at him from her seat "Uhm.. thank you," she chuckled.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're welcome," he waved it off. "Don't mention it."

George rolled his eyes at Matty's silly behaviour. "Ouch!" he squeaked, as Matty stabbed him with his elbow.

"Ah look! A church," Matty stated as the three of them were heading towards one of the city's churches. "Quite stunning, isn't it?"

"It's just a church, mate," George raised an eyebrow at his best friend.

"Shall we sit down on that bench over there? Hope I won't go up in flames. Wouldn't that be fun, huh?" Matty asked.

A slight chuckle left Y/n lips, as she realized that going outside with Matty and George wasn't as bad as she expected. She was actually glad that she picked up that call. A little bit of distraction from her mind and her self-destructive thoughts had been long overdue.

"Do you smoke, Y/n?"

"Nah, it's disgusting."

George threw his head back in heavy laughter before patting Matty's shoulder, who looked at him in his usual clumsy way.

"What is it with you today, George?" Matty asked, shaking his head. "You're acting kinda weird."

"Me? No idea what you're talking about," he kept on laughing.

Y/n was still standing in front on the bench, while only the two boys were sitting.

"Anyway," Matty looked away from George, turning his face toward Y/n. "You know you can actually sit down here beside me." Matty said as his curls were dangling in his eyes again. He pushed them aside with his hand as he continued, "We don't bite, you know?"

"Well, I certainly won't," George still couldn't get over whatever he was laughing about. "But I wouldn't be so sure about Matty."

Matty kicked his foot against George's. "I'm sorry about him. He's usually not like that."

"It's okay, I'd rather keep standing. I just wish I knew what he's laughing about, so I could join in," the blonde girl chuckled.

"No, I think it'd best if he kept it to himself", Matty said with a pointed look at George, his tone firm, implying he should refrain from sharing the source of his amusement. "... wouldn't it, George?"

"Ookayy... this is... weird," Y/n said while observing the two musicians, trying to figure out what was going on.

Matty knew why George was enjoying himself this much, but he didn't want anyone else to know, especially not Y/n. He instantly started to regret that he had told his long kept secret to his best friend earlier that day, since George was on his best way of ruining Matty's well-thought-out plan.

George cleared his throat as he finally pulled himself back together. "Mh, mh...," he hummed. After lighting his own fag he handed the lighter over to Matty so he could light his.

Y/N watched as he blew the smoke out, which slowly meandered all over his face before evaporating into the cold, dark night. As he slowly opened up his eyes, their glances met for a second but she looked down at her feet immediately, to avoid having any more eye contact.

"I kinda miss going to school with you guys," Matty informed them. "Do you miss it too sometimes?"

"Nah, certainly not," George answered, but Matty's eyes were fixed on Y/n.

"Yeah, I do," Y/n chuckled. "Do you know who I miss the most?"

"No, who?" Matty asked, before he quickly added "Ah, no, wait! I know it!"

Y/n raised her eyebrow, waiting for his answer.

"It's me!"

George and Y/n looked at each other before bursting out in laughter.

"Oh damn, Matty. I wish I had an ego as big as yours," Y/n snickered.

"Yeah, well... okay. Who is it then?", Matty shrugged.

"It's Mr. Miller. I kinda miss his bad jokes"

"Haha, yeah, he was such a pervert, though."

"Yeah, I know. That's what made it so funny," she answered.

"I mean, he was only that funny because his jokes were so bad. Ridiculous." George added, slightly chuckling under his breath.

"Wait... doesn't he live over there?" The girl turned around, pointing towards a house across the street from the church.

"Uhm..," Matty thought for a moment before he continued "Yes! He does! He told us about the annoying chimes of the bell tower right in front of his house, didn't he?"

"Yeah, he did. Wow, that's amazing. Come on, let's see if he's home," not even waiting for a response, she started to make her way across the street to Mr. Miller's house.

"Y/n!" Matty whisper-screamed, "Are you insane? It's half 10. He's probably in bed already, shagging his wife or something."

George laughed at Matty's words. "I'm in. This is fun. Come on Matty. Don't be such a wimp." He stood up from the bench they were sitting on, walking over to Y/n.

Matty was still sitting on the bench, his arms crossed in front of his chest like a little kid left behind by his parents.

"Matty!" Y/n turned around to call him once again. "Get your ass up!"

Matty rolled his eyes before he got up, slowly strolling over the street to where is friends stood.

"Who's gonna ring the doorbell?" George asked, looking at Matty, who immediately responded in denial. "Don't look at me like that! I won't do it."

"And you want to call yourself a man? Pathetic." Y/n snapped in annoyance.

Surprised but kind of impressed by her answer, the two boys looked at each other and shrugged.

"I'll do it then," y/n informed them before she rang the doorbell at Mr. Miller's front door.

After waiting for a few seconds with no answer, she decided to ring the bell again.

"I think no one's home.", George said.

"I told you he's under his wife!", Matty stated.

Y/n chuckled as she looked at Matty to respond "Yeah Matty, you might be right. Let's leave then."

"I'm always right. Don't know why no one's ever listening to me," he said as they walked back to their bench across the street.

Now it was only George who sat down again, while Y/n and Matty stood in front of the bench.

"Imagine..," y/n started as she turned around to face Matty "like what if they were really in there..."

"They were!" Matty interrupted her. "Believe me."

They both chuckled in unison at their silly and dirty imagination. As Matty sought eye contact again, she tried to cover up her mouth with her hand, feeling a bit insecure. This time, she didn't look away but locked her gaze with his, looking up at the curly-haired man. Suddenly, something seemed to click in her. The sound of his laughter touched her soul like rays of sunshine, covered in sweet melodies. Like the myelin sheath of axons, allowing them to reach her ears even faster than the speed of light. She didn't yet know that this exact moment would change her life forever. That this exact moment was the start of a series of memories she would never get rid of. She didn't yet know that if a magical creature offered her to relive one day of her life, she would unhesitatingly choose this one.

If she had known all this, she probably would have held onto this moment longer. Maybe her question would have been something like 'Can we stay a bit longer?' or 'Can we make this night last forever?'

But instead, she said "Can we go home now? I'm kinda freezing, and I have to get up very early tomorrow."

"Yeah, sure thing," Matty said. And even though he wanted this rather intimate moment between the two of them to last forever or at least a little bit longer, he slowly loosened his gaze from hers. "George? Come on, off we go."

George stood up, and they slowly walked back to the car, neither of them saying a word. It seemed as if something magical lingered in the air. George had noticed that something had happened between Y/N and his best friend — something that changed the entire atmosphere around them, adorning it with a sweet, metaphorical scent.

🖤[poem 1]🖤

As Matty was about to open the car door, Y/n stopped him. "Look! There's a firefly!"

"Where?" Matty asked, wildly looking around.

"Right there, in your hair," she pointed up to his messy curls. "Wait, don't move." She carefully reached out her finger to his hair, trying to let the little firefly crawl onto it.

"It's so cute, isn't it?" she asked, showing him the insect on her finger.

"It is. I've never actually seen one before. Have you?" he asked while admiring the glowing creature on Y/n's finger.

"No, I haven't."

"Look, there's another one," Matty stated as he pointed his finger in the air next to Y/n's face.

Just a few seconds later, they found themselves surrounded by hundreds of fireflies, their gentle glow illuminating the dark night around them.

George was already sitting in the car as he rolled down the window, curious why his friends were still standing outside of the car. "What's going on out there?" he asked.

Done admiring the fireflies, Y/n and Matty got in the car. "Man, you missed out on something. About a million fireflies were out there!" Matty exaggerated.

"Oh really? I see them all the time in my garden," George answered casually as he started driving.

"You must be kidding!" Matty stated in surprise.

"No, like literally almost every single night!" he laughed and kept on driving towards Y/n's house to drop her off.

🖤[poem 2]🖤

🖤[poem 3]🖤

--------------------

When George stopped the car in front of Y/n's house, she unbuckled her seatbelt, getting ready to leave the car.

"So, uhm... it was nice to hang out with you, guys," Y/n said.

"Yeah..." Matty started before he was cut off by George.

"Yeah, Y/n. I'm pretty sure Matty liked it too," George teased, wriggling his eyebrows.

"Thank you, George," Matty rolled his eyes at him. "But I think I can speak for myself, can't I? I'm a big boy, I suppose." He turned around to face Y/n in the backseat. "So, yeah. I loved it. It was fun. Maybe we can hang out again at the weekend?"

"Yes, I'd love that," she shyly smiled in response.

"Great."

"Okay. Well, goodnight then," she said, opening the door to get out of the car. "See ya, guys!"

"Bye, Y/n!" George waved.

"See ya!" Matty called out of the open window as she was already out of the car, opening her front door, waving goodbye with a smile on her face.

After she disappeared into the house, Matty immediately turned around, confronting George. "You fuckin' idiot!"

"What? What have I done now?" George laughed.

"George, I'm telling you...," Matty warned him. "If you ruin this..."

"I won't ruin anything, mate. I think you need to settle down a bit. Tonight went quite well, didn't it?"

"Yeah... Yeah, I think so," Matty looked outside the window, his tired head resting on his hand, his mind replaying the evening's events like scenes from a movie...

_____________

Let me know what you think xx

[thelittleliars]

P.S. I Want You | Chapter 3

Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Warnings: none other than fluff I guess?

Words: 8.5K

AN: It's been so long since I last posted for this story. But here's the long awaited Chapter 3!! I hope y'all like it! P.S. the end is NOT angst. This entire fic is supposed to be pure fluff, I just suck at writing an end for chapters.

P.S. I Want You Masterlist

Natasha currently stood in front of your apartment door with a small bouquet of different colored roses and of course a postcard from Budapest. Her nervousness was through the roof. She never thought that she could feel such an intensity of the emotion, let alone caused by a person. With a heavy sigh she lifted her hand to knock on your door but paused before her skin came into contact with the wooden door. "You got this. You're the Black Widow for christ sake!" She mumbled to herself, trying to encourage herself but her own words didn't hold any weight. The door opened, she came face to face with a beautiful woman not older than you. "Oy, I thought I heard someone foreign here." The girl smiled at Natasha. "How can I help?"

"I.. uhhh.. is-is Y/N here?" The Avenger asked. The confusion was clearly written all over her face. "No. She'll be back soon though. You can come in if you want to?" She offered the other woman. Natasha shock her head. "Oh no, I don't want to intrude." 

"Please come in, I can get you a coffee. Y/N always says I make the best coffee ever." She gestured for the red head to step inside. The words made Natasha jealous. Sending you the postcards made her think that you were hers in a way, though she knew that you two were nothing yet. The thought of you being together with the women in front of her brought up anger and sadness. She needed to get out of here quick. "No thank you. It was supposed to be a quick stop by to say hello anyways."

"Okay" As soon as Nat saw the other girl nod, she walked out and towards the stairs. She was so busy with her thoughts that when she arrived at the bottom she didn't see someone opening the old elevator door. She walked right into it, her head hitting the wood hard. "Fuck.." The person walked back out. It was you. "Nat?" You were stunned to see the red head again, it actually felt like a fever dream but in a good way. Natasha looked up to see you and god damn you looked way more beautiful than the last time she saw you. "Y/N.. h-hi." She stuttered out. "I-it's good to see you. Let's go upstairs." 

"I don't wanna intrude." She told you. "Oh you would never. I only need to talk with Réka for a second and then we can go." You took her arm and dragged her into the elevator. Natasha was confused, where would you two go afterwards? This was your apartment where your most likely girlfriend was too. Were you too ashamed or embarrassed to stay long here? "Ohh you don't know yet.. would have thought Yelena told you." You mumbled still not telling Natasha the news directly. The other girl's heart was already starting to break, the possibility of you not being available anymore hurt her, you weren't even hers yet so why did it that thought hurt so much? "I moved into another district. It's an apartment I've wanted ever since I moved her and I finally had enough money to live there." The red head felt such relief and joy that she could shed a tear or two. "That's great! Where exactly did you move to?" She asked before she realized she still hold the small bouquet of roses and the postcard. "Also these are for you." She handed you the roses but hid the card. She decided to give it to you later. "Aww Nat. You really didn't have to!" You blushed. "But thank you so much. I love it. And I live in the inner city now. Near the metro station Astoria if you might know it?" 

"I heard the name somewhere but I'm not sure. I never had the time to explore Budapest." You nodded in acknowledgment. "For how long are you here?" It wasn't a want to know it, no you desperately needed to know it. "For the next 2 weeks. I took some time off. Maybe you can show me around?" She wasn't sure but was hopeful that you wanted to spend time with her and show her around. You look at her shocked. Two weeks of Natasha?? And she wants you to show her around? What did you do to deserve this heavenly time with her? "I-I uhm yeah sure. I do have to go to work though. Luckily you arrived on a friday evening. We got the whole weekend for us, no interruptions unless Yelena is also joining." You joked before you knocked on the door. "Helló Y/N. Kérlek fáradj be." 

"Helló Réka! Mennyi a posta ma?" (How much mail is it today?" It was Natasha's first time hearing you speak in hungarian and oh boy did that do something to her. "Egy levél és két képeslap." (One letter and two postcards.)

"A levél az én munkámból származik?" (Is the letter from my work?" She nodded and handed you your mail. "Alright well I told them my new address again so you shouldn't get mail for me anymore." You gently laid the roses on the table, opened your letter to see what your work wanted from you, then looked at the two postcards.

Hey Y/N Y/L/N!

You still haven't texted me your new address so I'm still gonna have to send them to your old place. 

Greetings from the "Big Apple." 

~ Yelena 

The other one said:

Hiii Y/N Y/L/N,

it's me again! You have to come visit me whenever your vacation is. I have so much to show you!

Greetings from Ohio.

~ Yelena

P.S. yes I did copy my big sister, don't you dare tell her!

"That tiny little szuka.." (bitch) you muttered. "Thanks again. If there will be more mail just text me?" 

"Will do!" She smiled and nodded you goodbye. You turned to Natasha, who seemed to be in a frozen state. "You good?" She hummed in a higher pitch. She was fine but at the same time not at all since all she could focus on how hot she found you talking another language. While she basically ogled at you, you put the postcards into your backpack, then grabbed the roses with one hand and with your other free hand Natasha's wrist.

Even though it was just her wrist you were holding, she felt all of the sudden super shy. Nat tried so hard not to blush in front of you both but of course you saw the tint of red on her face before you dragged her out of the apartment and down the stairs. 

Right before you went out of the gate, she gathered herself and took her confident front while her insides were all jelly. It was a mask she mastered a long time ago. The mask or the acting was the main reason why she even came as far as she was now. You on the other side had an open and happy look. It sure was something new to you, being close to the girl you liked who also seemed to like you back but having Natasha by your side gave you a huge boost of confidence. And thanks to the boost, the huge urge to hold her hand in front of everyone came along. You were not someone who like pda much, the red head could relate to that. She wasn't used to affection so it made her very nervous when she felt you sliding your hand from her wrist to hold her hand. You notice her sweaty hands almost immediately but didn't comment it, assuming that this must be a lot for her already or simply just a gay panic but even calling that out or teasing was something you knew would be embarrassing for her.

After a couple of minutes you asked her if you guys should take the metro or walk the short distance. "Is your new apartment far?" She wasn't used to walk any kind of distance. Europeans constantly walk a lot and they don't even mind it which is mind boggling for her.  You saw her hesitation. "You get to hold my hand for 20 more minutes love." You proposed to her. "If we take the metro we'd be there in mere minutes. It's your choice though." She was quiet for a minute. Thinking over her options. She'd love to hold your hand on the way home but the thought of 20 more minutes in public scared her. She knew that love wasn't just for children but kinda acting like all love like, triggered the familiar feeling and struggle of the mantra. "Let's take the metro yeah? It's not far from here either and the sooner we get home the more privacy we'll have." With a nod from her you lead the obvious shorter girl to the metro station, no words were exchanged during that time but you didn't mind it. 

After buying tickets you rode down the first escalator, this time you guys stood behind one another since it's normal to leave the left side free for people who want to walk faster. As you turned towards Natasha who was behind you, you noticed the height difference was gone now. "Ohh look you finally don't need to look up to me anymore." You teased her with a slight evil glint in your eyes. "Rude!" She slapped your shoulder lightly. You only chuckle before stopping and giving her a big happy grin. "You're lucky you're cute." Natasha told you. She just didn't know how else tocounter back but you of course knew. "Cute? I'm offended Natasha. Don't you think I'm a lot more than cute?" You turn back around because you knew the escalator was almost done. "What if I told you that you're only cute and nothing more?" She said when you two stood next to each other at the platform. You once again took her hand, looking at her face to see if there's any kind of uncomfortableness, when you didn't see anything you answered her. "I guess I have to accept it then since I don't want to end whatever we have going on right now." 

"Would be a shame if you end it. Especially since I came here for you only." Your assumption of her coming here for you was correct and that did something to you. Not only did her words make you blush, it also gave you a rush of what felt like butterflies. This was the first time you didn't know what to do and say. Instead you silently went into the metro. You were glad that it arrived in the perfect moment. When you guys got out a station later and you still hadn't uttered a word, Natasha was worried that she fucked up. She knew that couldn't have fucked it up that badly since you still held her hands on the way up to the streets. As if you sensed her self doubting you apologized. "I'm sorry. Sometimes I go all quiet when I don't know what to do or say." Nat walked next to you as you softly guided her through some smaller streets towards your apartment. "Thank you for telling me that. It'll definitely help me navigate my way around you." You snorted. "Why does it sound like you're-" "I just.. I don't want to make you uncomfortable by putting you in a situation where you feel like you don't know how yo act. I like our teasing and flirting nature but if it gets too overwhelming at some point I'll slow down." 

"Nat, you honestly can make myself speechless as much as you want. Just promise me you'll pick up the conversation afterwards because I for sure make shit super awkward with my silence and body language." Your heart filled with warmth. Nobody ever was this respectful and thoughtful with you. She halted at a corner, wanting to say these next words directly to you so that she could read your face. "I.. I can't promise you anything but I'll try my best if that's also alright with you?" You nodded and gave her a smile. "Of course. Thank you for trying. I appreciate it." Natasha looked down, feeling a blush rising up that she didn't want anyone to see. She was being very open and soft with you. It's terrifying her but at the same she liked the feeling. You leaned against the wall to give Nat some space after seeing her struggle with things innerly. The blush was noticeable for you too but didn't usher a words about it. She pulled herself together and wanting to continue walking but the place you two were at gave her flashbacks. This was the place where she and Yelena ran to her sister's bike to flee from Taskmaster. A whole ass car flew right down the street but it seemed like there was no damage left. "Oh my god. This is where we were running from-" She stopped herself, realizing you didn't know a thing about what happened last year. She also didn't dare to look at you, fearing a curious look sitting on your face but nothing came from you so she stole a glance at you. You stood there so carefree while taking Natasha's whole form in. The red head looked absolutely fine in that outfit of hers. Black jeans, some tshirt or top which you couldn't tell since she wore a leather jacket over it and of course some sneakers. Nat saw the look you gave her. So she came closer and cornered you, even pressing her body against yours. The two of you were as close as it could get. Breaths were mixed, heartbeats were beating out of your chests and legs were feeling like jello. How either of you were surviving that moment was a question nobody could answer. Your eyes fluttered close as you were about to close the distance of your mouths. "I have to tell you something major." Nat whispered. She desperately wanted to kiss you but the guilt of not telling you about her real job was holding her back. "Is it important?" You opened your eyes while seeing a certain urgency in hers. "Yes." 

"That's alright. Let's go to my apartment then, it's literally right around the corner." She leaned back and nodded. You took her hand once again and lead her to your apartment. 

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"I'm an Avenger." You look at her puzzled. The word rang a distant bell in your head but nothing concrete came up so you asked her. "What's an Avenger?" Now she was surprised. "You haven't heard of the Avengers? Iron Man? Thor? The Hulk? Hawkey? Captain America? Black Widow?" Only after hearing the superhero names, you kinda realized what she was talking about. "Ohhh ain't that the group of superheroes or something?" When she nodded you felt your heart sink. Was everything she told you prior just a big lie? It all confused you, at the same time it also made you sad and angry "So you were lying about being an agent." You didn't even ask, you just stated it as it was a fact. Natasha was quick to defend herself. "No. There is some truth behind it." But she didn't explain further. And you swore that if she wouldn't tell you why exactly she lied then it'd be over. Lying and then not laying all your cards open after getting caught is a deal breaker for you. You looked at her and waited patiently for her to explain herself further, hoping desperately that she won't fuck this up. Minute after minute passed by, your hopes were now crushed, even when you saw a hint of a struggle in her eyes but honestly that wasn't enough for you. 

"I value honesty more than anything." You tried again. If she wouldn't take this chance then it'd be over before it even started. When nothing came again you sighed while trying to come up with the best way to break whatever this was off. Natasha stood up and walked towards your window. She looked outside with a grim expression. Both of you were quiet and in your heads, thinking of right words to say to each other. When you opened your mouth to say the words I can't do this any further she beat you. "I was a Shield agent before joining the Avengers." For Natasha it was enough explanation, for you not so much but all you asked of her was honesty and that you got. "Alright. I just don't see why hiding that information was such a huge deal."

"We're huge overseas and I guess I was just very cautious." You nodded and believed her but you also felt like she still hadn't fully told you the whole story. Unsure how to move past this you continue sitting awkwardly in your living room. The other women started to notice the awkwardness and remembered what you said earlier. "Are we still good?" Were we? You honestly didn't know but your heart still craved her so you let this incident slip. "Only if you can explain your postcards to me." You needed answers, ones only she could answer. So the second she nodded and walked back to the seat she was sitting before, you stood up and got the stack of postcards she sent you. "They're in order."

The first one was from London. She started telling you why she hadn't written to you in the months before. "The Avengers were broken up and fought against each other which ended up pretty badly with half of us breaking the law and get arrested. I was hiding in Norway before my sister, Yelena, contacted me and I traveled to Budapest. We had a little undercover side mission here and it lead to London. Where we had to lay low but then I saw a souvenir shop one day and it reminded me of you." At that her face started to get a pint of red. "I uhh quickly wrote the postcard and somehow that was the start of it all." 

"You chose a very unique and pretty card. It ended up immediately in my collection!" You told her. "Since Rome was such a short stay do you have something to say about that or wanna jump right to Norway?" 

"Well all I can say to Rome is that it was really short but beautiful. Norway was once again more of laying low. I still was on the run. Then Toronto came and somehow met another fellow Avenger. Clint or rather Hawkeye. He actually dragged me to a big league hockey game." Nat grunted in annoyance at the memory. You on the other side grinned at her reaction. This is exactly what you imaged her to act like when you read the Toronto postcard. "You don't like hockey?"

Her expression was unreadable but she voice her thoughts before you hurt your brain by trying to read her intensely. "It's alright but watching it was boring. Dragging long, let me tell you that." To get more comfortable you lifted your legs and sat cross legged. Nat followed your example and did the same, though her position was sideways so she could look at you better. This time you copied her, also wanting to get a better view of her. "What if I told you I love watching hockey and american football?" She raised her eyebrows but also looking at your face to see if you were just teasing her or not. "Then I'd say don't you dare to make me watch it with you." 

The biggest shit eating grin was plastered on your face. "One day.. one day I'll definitely dare to make you watch it with me." The read head's heart was suddenly beating wildly at your words and the grin that is still on your beautiful face. She didn't know how you could make it so easy for her to feel like this. Her eyes flickered down for a second. There she saw the Berlin postcard. The horrendous things that happened there flashed in front of her eyes and felt the weight of that trip drowning her again. You reached out for her hand and held it when you saw that her mood changed completely into the opposite direction. "I-I got caught.. they interrogated me for two months before a deal was even brought up. I was allowed to finish my side mission with Yelena. It lead us to Berlin, the authorities weren't keen on having me back in the country since we Avengers made a lot of destruction there. One thing led to another and somehow the person we wanted to save-" Her breath got caught in her throat. The words the wanted to say died. Your heart broke at the sight. Seeing her broken and this distraught gave you an ache in your heart. "I went back to my parents house. I needed change and comfort. In that time I didn't write you and I had hoped that I didn't fuck things up with you." 

"Nat, I'm so sorry that this all happened to you." You scooted closer to her and put your arms around her. She immediately leaned her head against you. Your warmth made her feel safe. "Let's talk about the rest another time, yeah?" Her head brushed against you as she nodded slightly. "I never was much of an open book." She admitted to you in a hush of a whisper. "And that is okay. Nat, I only want you to be honest with me. If there is a situation you feel like you're not ready to share then just say that. I don't ever wanna push." After Natasha agreed, you tried to lighten up the mood by asking her about her superhero stuff. "Sooo.. Do you also have some kind of superhero name?"

At that she smiled and leaned back from you. "I do. It's Black Widow!" The name coming from the hero herself sounded so damn hot and mysterious. Plus you instantly loved the way she said it. "Hot damn, Nat that sound so freaking badass! What about a suit? Or like what else do you wear while fighting the evil?" Your bubbly nature of asking made her feel super warm on the inside. "I have a couple of suits that I wear if the mission is gonna be bigger. Otherwise I wear just normal simple clothes." Your mind immediately jumped to her in a superhero suit. "Oh to see you in action in one of your suits." You almost moaned at the thought of how sexy she'd look. "What kind of in action though?" She wiggled her eyebrows. You let out a gasp before you slapped her arm in a teasing manner. "Natasha Romanoff! Get your head out of the gutter." Then you cleared your throat before admitting that you wouldn't mind what she had in mind too. "Yeah? I can promise you that the suit slips on and off pretty easily." She teased you. Meanwhile you were stunned by the teasing you got back from her. "Oh my goddess. You really need to stop putting more ideas in my head!" You groaned out loud. Nat had a smirk on her face while looking at you like you were prey. She came closer and pushed you on your back easily. Then crawled on top of you, hovering over you but never really touching any part of your body. That action left you breathless. "Care to share those ideas? Would only be fair for me to know right?"

"What? You want me to tell you specific details of how I imagine I get railed by you?" She nodded. "That my dear Widow is something you have to seduce out of me but the only thing I'm willing to tell you right now that it definitely involves a strap on." Even though you felt confident to tell her that, a huge blush crept on your cheeks. Since Nat was so close to you, you felt how her breathing increased. She got turned from what you said. "Ohh who knew that such a pretty mind had all those dirty thoughts?" At that you couldn't bring out a word, you didn't even know what to say to that. She saw that so helped you by asking if you wanted to go on a date with her the next day.

"Yeah sure. Do you have something in mind yet?" You asked since it was her idea. She smirked at you. "Ohh I have plenty in mind but nothing of that is appropriate." You tried so hard not to let it get it to you since you blushed way too much around her already. "I really think you should stop teasing me."

"I know I should but seeing you like this is making me go wild." She confessed. 

"Maybe we need to get this out of our systems before continuing with the romance part?" You said. Natasha pondered for a second. "Do you really think that once I get a taste of you, I'll be able to get it out of my system? "

"Could be since the having sex with me might be so fucking awful." Natasha snorted at your words. "I can't imagine that. You look like someone who knows what she does." You felt honored that she believe that but it was the exact opposite. "First time." You whispered, the word barely got out of your mouth. That shocked Natasha, she did not expect you telling it the information this honest. Some small joy bloomed in her chest, while you probably hinted at your first time ever she herself hasn't had sex with a woman yet, with your confession she didn't feel alone. When you saw her expression you realized it'd be her first time too. "No way." Natasha knew exactly what you were talking about. "Yes way." She got all shy but you still made her feel like she didn't need to be embarrassed in any way. "Had there been someone before or would it be your complete first time too?" 

"There were times I had to for missions but not with any women." 

"What do you mean you had to? Please don't tell me you were giving yourself up for the sake of a mission." When no answer came you felt the heaviness of your heart breaking for her once again. Tears were trying to break free but you held them as good as you could. "Oh Nat, I'm so sorry. You don't ever have to do anything you're not okay with around me and with me okay? You can also always tell me if you changed your mind because that is also an important option."

"Thank you. Truly, thank you so much Y/N." She was extremely grateful for your reassuring words. You nodded, then shifted the conversation a bit. "Soo.. I think we need to figure out the pace for whatever relationship we currently have because I don't think I can handle these mixed paces."

"That's truly going to be a challenge since I wouldn't mind having you in bed already while at the same time I want to get to know you more." Natasha confessed. You were taken aback by her boldness for  a moment before truly realizing how your body reacted in its own way. Your cheeks were warm and red. You really couldn't believe that the goddess that Natasha was, was actually interested in you. "Well you'll get to know me more on the date tomorrow."

"That I will." She too looked shyly away. The new and unfamiliar emotions were getting a bit overwhelming. "I think it's a good time for me to go." You nodded sadly but understood that this day had to come to an end at some point. "Okay.. but don't forget to send me a text so I finally have your number and can send you the details for it then." Natasha looked confused at you since she doesn't know what you were talking about. "What? How am I supposed to text you? I don't have your number." This time it was your turn to be confused. "B-but I gave your sister a postcard with my number on it. She was supposed to give it to you."

"She didn't." Natasha was pissed at her sister. How could she not give her the postcard with your number on it? "Ohh.. well I thought you saw it since the postcards kept coming but hadn't the time to shoot a simple text." It made you sad that Natasha never received your postcard. You knew it was just a piece of paper but you still couldn't shake off the loss of the postcard. "If I had your number I probably would have sent you a photo from each location I was at and tease you with the great postcards I had found for you." 

"That would have been exciting! Not only that but you also did a great job with the photograph you took in Rankin Inlet so I can only imagine what other great pictures I would have gotten then." You complimented her photograph skills. "If you give me your phone number now, that still can happen." She smirked. "I'll also be on Yelena's ass for not giving me that postcard." You held out your phone to Natasha. She took it and texted herself after adding her number to your contacts. "I can't wait for tomorrow." She smiled at you. "I can't wait either." Natasha surprised you by kissing your cheek before walking out.

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Today 05:37 AM Brunch picnic date? 

Today 09:21 AM What time is considered 'brunch'?

Today 09:23 AM 9:30-11 AM

Today 09:24 AM Nat I just woke up omg

Today 09:24 AM Just lunch then?

Today 09:26 AM What about a late breakfast date and depending on what we do afterwards either lunch or a picnic?

Today 09:26 AM Multiple dates in one day? 

Is that even acceptable?

Incoming call

"Did you even ever go on dates with your ex-girlfriend?" You greetingly joked as you can not fathom her confusion. 

She felt the need to defend her as the words of her ex lover rang in her head. You only have time for your job! You're basically married to it! "We went on dates! Took her on more dates than she ever deserved." 

"Nat? That was a joke okay? I'm sorry it didn't came across that way. I just can't seem to come to the conclusion why you'd think that it'd be multiple dates." You gently told her. 

"What else could it be??" She asked confused, hoping for clarity from you.

"A long date? Or a never ending one?" She snorted as if that's the most ridiculous idea on earth. "That's stupid." Your heart went down your pants, fearing that this would be the end of planing a date. "So should we cancel it then?" 

"What, no! I didn't mean it like that." Natasha said it fast. She was irritated by your opinion but it never meant that she didn't want the date to get cancelled. You broke out into a wide smile after hearing her being in a bit of distress that you put her in. "Just kidding with you." She groaned super load. "Y/N come one!" You giggled at her antics, liking the way she reacted. "Admit it. You love it." 

"Pff. How can I love it when it's irritating?" She asked. "Well maybe because I challenge you in a different way and you're not used to it?" You pointed out. She hated how right you were. It made her feel vulnerable and that was something she did not want to explore more right that moment. "I'm ending this call."

"Natty noooo. I'm sorry for being so forward with you. I might be super comfortable around you already so I guess I have to hold back a bit." 

"I don't you to hold back for my sake. I don't want to change you. What do you think about breakfast in one hour?" 

"I'd be alright with it even if it were in half an hour." You truthfully told her. Natasha told you she'd be by your door by then before she ended the call abruptly. You didn't know what just happened, what triggered her mood to shift in the middle of the conversation. You needed to ask her about that later. For now you got out of bed and made yourself presentable for the date. And it was not long after you finished putting on a bit makeup when the door bell rang. When you opened the door Natasha stood there in a brownish-red shirt and black pants. "I hope I'm not late?" She asked while being a bit out of breath. You shook your head, then glancing down at the apple watch that you wore. "Why would you be late? You're right on time."

"I honestly didn't know what to wear." She said. "I then realized that I only brought some pants and tops. Also a dress for some reason." At the mention of a dress your eyes almost bulged out. Though you loved everything she wore, you couldn't stop imagining her in a dress. "I'm gonna need that dinner date." You muttered to yourself. Natasha smiled at that, already excited at the thought of your reaction to seeing her dressed up. "Breakfast is casual anyways so you're all good." You gave her a grin before complimenting her how beautiful she looks. The red head wasn't used to compliments and especially not when she wore casual civilian clothes. She didn't know how to feel but she knew how to put on the acting front and so she did, she suppressed her feelings and complimented you back. You two were quickly walking outside after that interaction, going in the direction of your favorite place to get breakfast. It was called Zoska and wasn't even a minute away from your apartment. "How does it feel to be back here?" You asked her. Nat took a second to think how to answer. "It feels weird. I have a lot of negative connections towards the city." 

"Must be hard for you. Is Budapest as bad as you described São Paulo in the postcard?" As soon as the words left your mouth, you wanted to take them back. It was so insensitive of you to ask that. Natasha visibly froze, she regretted ever sending off that postcard but she was too shaken up to care at that time. "Forget that I asked." It was awkward for the rest of the walk and it continued up to the point where she asked you what food you would recommend. You had a hard time to recommend her just one thing since everything on the menu was just amazing so you just told her what you'd get and that were the Rántotta Menu. You'd get scrambled eggs with two toppings and coffee. "That sounds delicious. I think I'm gonna take that and... - wanna share some pancakes?" You looked up from the menu card, her green eyes were already on you patiently waiting for an answer. "Sure." You mumbled as you got lost in her eyes. They were so mesmerizing and calling out for you. "Has anybody ever told you that you have the most stunning eyes in the world?" The redness on her face didn't register in your mind, you were just too hypnotized by how her eyes looked at you. This whole situation was new for Natasha, she usually wasn't fazed by people looking at her but your gaze was something else, it was intense yet so soft and curious. "Well..I guess someone just did." She teased. "Good because that someone definitely wasn't lying. That someone is also sorry to stare at you for so long but they can't seem to get out of the trance those beautiful eyes put them in." 

"Well that someone has one of the most beautiful eyes too." She shot back in the most seducing tone you ever heard. But since you were bad at taking compliments you had to give one back. "My eyes are nothing compared to yours." 

"How would you know? You can't see yours unless - Y/N do you by any chance stare at yourself in the mirror?" She was teasing, you knew that but it still gave you a bit of a nervous-panic rush. "What? No!" Your eyes widened and suddenly you were thrown out of the trance. "I'm quite the opposite if you must know." Natasha lifted her eyebrow."Yeah? Tell me more about who you are." You smiled at the redhead and shook your head. "I'll tell you only after we order and eat the food. That's the main thing we came here for." Natasha simply took the opportunity to flirt more with you. "I definitely came for the pretty girl and not the food." Your body heated up everywhere. You didn't know how or why her words affected you so much. "Are you always such a smooth talker?" 

"Perhaps but honestly just wait until you hear my dirty talk honey." You gulped. "Teasing me like this right now is just plain rude!" Shortly afterwards, a waiter came and took your order, it didn't take long until your food was ready to be devoured. Natasha was in heaven with this food, almost moaned loudly. Praised you for the great spot to eat breakfast. After breakfast you walked back to the little park that was basically right in front of your apartment, you guys strolled through there, you itched to hold her hand again but did no such thing after yesterday. Instead you asked what she'd like to see of Budapest for the rest of her stay. Your favorite places were the first thing she said. She wouldn't mind tourist spots but wanted to avoid crowdish places  in case someone did recognize her. You understood from where she was coming from so you suggested museum's and doing a segway tour through the city. 

After just aimlessly walking through the streets for a while you both decided to go back to your apartment for a quick break from the heat that started to build outside. You offered her something to drink, she chose a coffee while you chose a chamomile herbal tea for yourself. For a while the two of you were simply sitting on the couch with your legs crossed, knees touching each others and the warm drinks of your choices in your hands. "I guess I can see now why you stayed in Budapest. It's beyond beautiful and the atmosphere here is very pleasant." You nodded. "Well there are many other beautiful cities in the world and I've been to a lot already but I guess only Budapest's beauty made itself a home in my heart." 

"That sounds lovely." Natasha said while a sudden longing build up in her to have the exact same feeling of home for a city as you had. She felt a hand on one of her legs, the warmth your radiated gave her a fuzzy feeling. Natasha wasn't used to physical touch and therefore kinda hated it, she forced herself not to shove you away since she had to admit that it felt nice to have you touching her. You saw the slight sad look in her eyes, you knew that longing of wanting to feel home too well. That's why you put your hand on her leg, it was your way of giving a bit of comfort. You were glad that she didn't push your hand away, in fact she even put hers over yours after a couple of minutes. It didn't dawn on you until that moment how touch starved you actually were. The warm feeling with the weight of her slender hand had you craving for more skin contact with her. You wanted to be as close as possible all the time. 

The quietness in the room was comfortable, yet you felt super awkward about it so you had the urge to turn on some music for it to play in the background quietly. "Let me put on some music. I have a great new ambience or instrumental playlist." With that you withdrew your hand from her hold, turned towards the coffee table to put down your mug and reach for the remote of your speaker. Quickly you turned it on while lowering the volume since you knew you had in on max the other day, before connecting it with your phone. After you started shuffling the playlist you turned all your attention back to the red head who was looking down at her hand that you abandoned. You tried your luck again. You gently laid your hand near hers, slowly inching forward, the second you touched her fingers and played with them you heard her let out a small sigh of relief. "Please tell me if this or anything else I do makes you uncomfortable." 

"This-this is.. nice?" She said it in more of a question then a statement. "It feels weird but at the same time good?" You realized that she must not have gotten a lot of physical affection as she grew up and that's why the feeling of any touch is foreign. "When was the last time someone hugged you?" You blurted out. Then being super shocked at your own boldness. "The last vivid memory was from last year with Yelena." You nodded, not sure if she even saw it since her attention still was on your joined fingers. "Would you be alright if I hugged you? Maybe even sitting on my lap while I hug you?" She hesitated but started to crawl on your lap nonetheless, her short legs were resting next to each side of your hips while her arms were hanging stiffly against her own body. You slowly put your arms around her, watching her expressions closely. When there was no sign of discomfort you pushed yourself closer to her and hugged her a tad tighter. Natasha stilled in your embrace, taking in the new feeling of being close and being touched so gently. The second she decided this ain't so bad, she hugged you back and relaxed her head into the crook of you neck. "I read somewhere that we need four hugs a day for survival, eight hugs a day for maintenance and astonishing 12 hugs a day for growth."

"That's insane." She mumbled into your body. You agreed with her. After a few minutes of hugging, you felt it was a long enough hug for her as a start so as you leaned back you were really surprised when she pulled you back in again. "You smell nice." Was all she said as explanation. "Thank you. I actually put on the most expensive perfume I own." She inhaled your scent one last time before she removed herself from you. 

"Your most expensive perfume you say.. and all that just for me? I feel honored." Her teasing made you smile. It all just felt so natural. "You absolutely should." There was a split of a moment where she froze before she looked super nervous. "I want to kiss you so badly right now." She confessed. "Can I kiss you?" You wanted to say 'yes' so badly but you didn't, instead you tried to tease her again. "I don't kiss on first dates." She huffed in hopes that you found her so cute that you change your mind but you didn't budge. "Then we call its quiets on the date. Problem solved." You started to giggle which made Natasha smile widely. She liked hearing you giggling and laughing. "I want it to be special." You looked down to your hands. 

"Oh so this isn't special right now?" Your head shot up fast, seeing her lifting up her eyebrow. "Would you rather it be in public where thousands of eyes can judge our first kiss?" Your eyes widen, the image of your first kiss being public made you very uneasy. You shook your head. "Maybe I make an exception and do kiss on a first date."

"Yeah?" - "Yeah" And with that you both leaned in slowly and kissed each other with such care. After the kiss the both of you had such genuinely smiles on your faces that you wished somebody would have taken a photo of that moment. "How's that for a first kiss on a date?" She teased you. "How about a second kiss right afterwards?" You shot back. She didn't hesitate for a second as she dived into your space for your lips and kissed you a bit more desperate this time. It felt as if she was chasing something, chasing the feeling of belonging and home.

"What have you done to me?" She said in a breathless whisper once she put a bit of space between the two of you. "How is this even possible? We're still strangers." You wanted to answer, reassure her that even though they were still strangers that whatever was between them was right but you couldn't. A loud ringing from a cell phone blared through the room, it interrupted the precious moment between you, basically ripping the both of you out of the bubble Natasha and you had created. Who's phone was it? Yours? No that couldn't have been, you always had your phone on silent since the tone of a single notification of an app irritated you. It was Natasha's phone and it was on the cupboard at the entrance next to your front door. Recognition flashed across Natasha's face, the only ringtone she had for her parents was the sound that was currently coming from she phone. "It's my parents." She told you as she slowly removed herself from your lap and went to get it. "Take the call. I'll be in the bedroom to give you some privacy." 

Natasha was grateful for that but she also didn't mind you being in the same room as she took the call. Alexei's and Melina's faces popped up as soon as she accepted the FaceTime call. "Natasha finally you answered! I was getting worried!" Natasha and her parents talked for a while. You didn't mind her taking the time to talk to them, it was cute but after some time you became thirsty and had to go out of your room to get a bottle of water. So when you quietly walked by her, you were surprised that her dad spotted you immediately. "Is that your girlfriend?" Alexei asked with a huge teasing smile while Natasha wondered where he got that ridiculous idea from. "What?" He repeated himself. "Your girlfriend? Yelena told us about her." Yelena and her big mouth would be the death of the older sibling. "I don't have a girlfriend! I've literally have gone on one date with her." She cleared everything up. "Okay, okay. Just don't forget to use protection!" You heard a slap and then a new voice. "They don't need protection they're women." She scolded the man. "Just test on std's and you should be totally fine."

You looked into Natasha's direction, her face was as fire red as her hair, which was even more of a darkish red than when you first met her. You found it cute too see her all embarrassed. For once in you life you were glad that you never had these moments with your parents. "Why are you guys giving me sex talk?? I'm old enough to know what I'm doing!" She shook her head in disbelief. Alexei answered that they couldn't do it with Yelena. "Just because she's asexual? C'mon we all know that asexuality is little to no sexual attraction, the whole sex thing can still happen." Natasha's embarrassment turned into slight annoyance. 

"That is true but the way she acts whenever we only being up the word sex is telling me enough. You however give off strong playboy vibes-" You tried so hard not to laugh but that ended up with something that sounded like a snort that then turned into a cackle. "Sorry." You whispered. "I'm only getting a bottle of water!"

"Listen I-" Her mom cut her off though. "Enjoy your vacation Natasha. Stay safe and allow yourself to be happy. We love you, bye." The Black Widow couldn't believe it, her own mother just hung up on her like this. And then the audacity to even emphasize the enjoyment she should have on her vacation.. she was just stunned.

You sat on the countertop in the kitchen where you had a great view on the couch where Natasha still sat with hot red cheeks. She seemed to be in deep thoughts too so you spoke up to get her out of that state. "Nice parents." You commented. The answer she gave you was unexpected since it was a question instead of a comeback. "Do I really give off playboy vibes?" She asked with shame. Suddenly she overthought a bunch of memories, especially the ones with past partners. Natasha knew the main reason her ex girlfriend broke up with her was because of her being too busy with her job but she can't help but wonder if the playboy vibes were an additional final straw for her ex to break up. 

"No, you are more intimidating and mysteries. A flirt too but still super respectful." You told her truthfully. "Nat look, the best advice I have is to not hang onto words parents say to your face. They always think they know you best but they don't." She sighed, not sure how to feel. You saw her struggle so you continued. "If you don't believe me then ask Yelena or your Avengers friends. They know you well enough too. And if we're being honest I once saw a viral video of Tony Stark.. now he's the definition of a playboy or rather a playboy. Believe me, you're nothing like him." And with that you went to her and hugged her for a split of a second. 

"Thank you." She said. You asked her if she wanted to watch a movie, which she quickly agreed to. One movie lead to two movies lead to three movies which lead to you both falling asleep on your couch. At some point in the middle of the night Natasha woke up by a sound from outside. She saw you still sleeping peacefully but thought you'd like it more in your own bed so she picked you up and put you to bed, then vanished out of your apartment. The next morning came with no evidence that Natasha was even ever there. 

Bonus:

Yelena was furious, the airline somehow lost her luggage, she didn't care about her clothes since they could be replace but your postcard was in her suitcase too. She was too proud and embarrassed to get in touch with you and tell you about the incident. Unfortunately the tiny blonde ex-assassin had no time to visit Natasha. She couldn't get in touch with anyone for weeks, she only hoped that Natasha took care of herself and went back home to their 'parents'.

Taglist: @dcrogoy , @arcturusseer , @comet-forgot-you , @arualdcg , @kksalexa , @imnatobsessed , @presser24 , @00alycia , @wannabe-fic-reader , @lonewalker17 , @mrsrushman , @ctrlamira , @red1culous

[subway-boss-jericho]

I've been thinking about trying to write(/actually post) more one-shot written things about my AUs, like the one I wrote here for fossil AU. I already have one that's technically post-ready quality for Reflection AU, but I'm curious if any of you have any particular AUs you'd be curious in hearing more about.

I also have some much, much older writing for Combee AU and 2D AU, but I'm not sure how much editing I would need to do because I wrote those years ago and I don't remember if they make sense out of context.

Thoughts? I'm still working on STDNW Chapter 2, which is substantially closer to being finished than it was two months ago, and I don't want to pull my main focus away from that for too long :squint: but maybe some smaller prompts for that would be better instead of worse. I dunno. Hard to say. I also don't really want to do any smaller/shorter writing for Coupled (Uncoupled) yet either because that's something I wanna make a Main Fic out of, but I don't want to start writing it until steady tracks chapter 2 is finally done. I dunno. It feels like a bad idea to have two potentially long fics fighting for my attention. I don't wanna procrastinating steady tracks by working on coupled (uncoupled) Other than that, door's wide open. Lemme know what you guys might be interested in, I want to try and post more writing publicly (because god knows I have so much of it that i just keep to myself) I'm not super great at writing anything under 3k words long so. I suppose this is also me trying to break out of my chronic longfic habits. I mean for jirachi's sake look at the length of this post

(Here's the main list with all of them if you wanna take a look)

[totaldramafan-lauri]

Make Use Of Me (chapter 1, preview)

Dec. 7 EDIT: ONCE MORE, WITH BRAVERY THIS TIME. No more chickening out. You can read this thing FOR REAL now. Sorry for being weird, and now....sorry if this wasn't worth it. XD

O-OK...here goes....

First thing's first: I am not expecting a lotta people to read this. I'm not asking people to read this. At this point, I'm making this mostly as a passion project, and if anyone enjoys it, it'll be a really cool bonus. My writing style isn't gonna be for everyone, and the characters I write aren't the most....popular characters in the CRK X Reader community, and I imagine this isn't really something a lotta fans'll be demanding more of.

This is LONG. This one chapter is 56 pages long. I am a VERY wordy writer,

So......why'm I posting this preview? Well....partially as an interest gauge for people who WOULD wanna read it, but...mostly as a motivator. As something to remind myself of whenever I get lazy. After all....I can't quit after I made the first chapter public, right? By doing that, I put myself out there...And, hey, I even tagged it, so, if by the off chance, someone did read it, I'm basically promising them more eventually.....

But, again, I'm not forcing anyone to read this.

Not only is it long, but.....This first chapter is probably my least-favorite thing I've ever written. By posting this chapter by itself, I'm testing to see if it does its job of making people wanna read the rest, cuz....right now, I'm not so sure how well it succeeds at that.....

This is the boring part of the story. It's a bunch of setup, and me jumping through hoop after hoop after hoop to just get everything started. I know setup is important and all, but....I'm already a very wordy writer, so....oof....There is some interesting stuff that happens, but it takes a while to get there.

I-I....kinda hate it, actually. The only reason I didn't scrap it is that I didn't realize I hated it until I was about halfway through it and the "good part" hadn't started yet. And I still spent a month writing the thing, so....I finished it.

I'm tagging this...as an experiment. If you wanna read this, go ahead. W-well, read my tags first, THEN go ahead. XD

All I can really say in this chapter's defense is that....I do try my best to salvage it. It's just setup, but I TRIED to make it interesting. And everything that seems like it didn't go anywhere, will later. This isn't the whole story, it's just the beginning of what's gonna be a BIG story. Anything that seems weird in this chapter, gets explored in the other chapters. This does set up a bunch of stuff that becomes important later (The friend character shows up later, the Colosseum becomes relevant later). This chapter is boring, but I tried not to make any of it pointless.

For the future: I'm aiming for five chapters. Chapters 2 and 3 will be a series of smaller vignettes that take place over the course of a few years, chapter 4 will be the climax, and chapter 5 will be something of an epilogue. After that, there will be two endings to choose from (which will make sense when we get there).

This probably won't be my favorite thing I've ever written, but it will be the most ambitious thing I've ever, and probably will ever, write. I haven't written something like this before, and it's all to flesh out this story and make it believable.

Right now, I.....I want to finish this. I'll probably still be writing this in February at the rate I'm going, but...at this point, I've put too much into it to give up on it. However, I'm STILL not completely ruling out the idea of my motivation dying before then. It COULD happen. So, what I'm planning to do is...setting a short-term goal of finishing chapter 3. After I do that, I'll post the first three chapters on AO3 together, and work on the rest. That way, even if I don't finish it, I'll at least have it over half done, and chapter 3 will end on a somewhat high note.

So, yyyyeah....Not a lotta people will read this preview. Overly wordy writing style + boring setup part of story + 56 pages long + assumed lack of interest for X Readers of this character (At least, I haven't SEEN many simps for her, m-maybe I'm wrong, I might be, I-I haven't checked any tags cuz I've been nervous, b-but it doesn't make my writing any better. In that case, this is my first time writing her so I'm trying super hard to do her justice >//////<)

I-if you wanna read this, and see if this first chapter does a good job of making you wanna read the better chapters, then...Go ahead.....

Some notes:

-This is still not the final draft. It's finalized enough for me to share, but I'm still not considering it finished. Even tho I'm working on chapter 3 right now, I STILL go back and edit this, even very recently. So, chances are, even if the story is finalized, small details and sentences are still subject to change. I know for a fact that there are still SOME placeholder bits in here that will change after I get some stuff cleared up. Recently, I even considered chopping off an entire section to make it shorter. I decided not to, but hey, it could still happen. I don't wanna waste anyone's time. The first chapter of a story, even if it's boring, is still very important, and I wanna make sure it's the best version of itself.

(A-and yes, this means that I've finished chapter 2 as well. The reason I'm not sharing it is that, unlike chapter 1, it was finished VERY recently, so I might still need to give myself time to edit it. From what I have, tho, I do like it a LOT more than chapter 1. There are some parts of chapter 2 that I'm legit proud of.)

-Even tho this first chapter is completely clean, I-I should mention that....this fic is for adults. The full version, at least. Chapters 3 and 4 are gonna contain some light N/S/F/W moments (the "fade to black" variety, so nothing explicit) and there'll be other slightly racey comments here and there. Just a heads-up. I'm gonna be uncomfy with minors reading this.

Th-that's all? I-I think that's all.......O-OK, so......h-here goes..... E-enjoy....

[howdy-folks-its-showtime]

It's Showtime! - July 2024 Devlog

Howdy! Cobalt here, and wow, July really went by quick for me. Luckily, I also got a good amount of things done! In fact, I did a lot of things I've been holding off on for a while. Sorry the dev log is late,despite knowing I should, I didn't make notes on what I did this month nor did I start it earlier… Then I had a really bad time with my body (just cramps, dw!) the last few days of the month which made it hard to write. I swear I'll develop better habits for this as it goes on.

when it comes to programming, I've gotten a few minor things going on. I have a cut scene manager script now that keeps track of various things, including which cut scenes have already played but also which cut scenes you've seen between save files and stuff. This way it can make any cut scene you've already seen in any of your playthroughs skippable. I haven't actually gotten the skipping script to work yet nor stuff like triggering the cut scenes, but I'll need more placeholder sort of things to work on that stuff. The inventory also reorganizes itself after you use an item to make sure empty slots are at the bottom and filled ones are on the top. A lot, I mean a lot, of writing has been done this month. On Focuswriter [the program I use for all my writing] I hit the longest writing streak I ever had, 63 days in a row of meeting my daily goal [which is 500 words]! My in-depth/in-game writing doc has 16,783 words right now and my game design document [which contains the story summary] 20,764 words. [It actually shrank a bit because I made the story summary of chapter 1 like an actual summary, instead of being far too in-depth on a lot of parts. But that's still an improvement even if it seems weird on the word counts.] I've done a lot of writing out the story beats I've had in my head for a while but haven’t inserted it into my documents yet. I wanna focus on doing stuff like writing out the ending and more general story beats since I don't really want to go too far into development without way more of the story taken out of my mind and actually written down somewhere. Despite how excited I am to show more to the public. Since we will not be releasing It's Showtime through the chapters, I'm gonna try to make development less chapter focused, I don’t know how we’ll be releasing it, complete or in some other parts… But we’re not really far enough into development to be thinking of that yet. Luckily, I can say confidently I'm delighted with the speed of development so far. It's not much by most standards but for two queers making their first game of this scale while also balancing learning adult stuff, we've done way more than I thought we would so far! In terms of art, there's been both a lot done and not a lot. We've been doing a bit of concept art, getting references done, and speculating on things. But the place where the most progress has been made technically wasn't actually for the project itself… See, this month I think I finally started to really get the hang of blender. I finished a model for a friend of mine of their version of Evan from the Bendy Novels. It's fully rigged and I'm really happy with it. I'm also almost done with two other big models I'm making of someone's Bendy au designs and I'm sure when you guys see them, it'll make you excited for what the models in Showtime will look like. In general, I think I've finally found a workflow I'm happy with, and that allows me to make models both quickly but also to a quality I'm very happy with. I imagine very soon I'll be doing the first true collections of models for Showtime, whether they'll be the ones seen in the final release I don't know. But the practice alone will surely teach me a lot more about Blender.

As for other things… Ink Demonth is happening again and this time, I would love to create something for each prompt. They probably won't be posted daily, or in order, but still, I'd love for me and my partner to make something for each prompt within the month. Specifically related to Encore! and such. It'd be a good way to keep the blog alive and to stir up more attention on It's Showtime! This isn't a promise we will, but I thought I'd mention our hopes for Ink Demonth. Overall, I'd just advise all of you to be on the lookout for things going on with this game. I've got a lot of little plans for it that are almost ready to be put into motion and I'm super excited to show you guys more as things go on. Once again sorry it was late, but I hope this update was exciting! See you guys next month!

[sasukimimochi]

remember when i was working on MXY/WWX for GOM? LMAO i put this off for a while. probably rightfully- it's a struggle to finish things in time for my chapter upload if i work on other things.

i have been thinking about working on this for a while, every time i look at the mxy concept sketches i did, but i didn't do it until tonight when i was streaming and thinking of what to do next since i didn't know which drawing to do for GOM yet this chapter [i've not written enough of it and i don't wanna draw any of the current stuff]

but anyway, the three stages of WWX post resurrection in GOM! i'll explain the thought process/details of his character below! read more line just to shorten this post length. See more GOM or other mdzs projects in my master post!

-he's a bit more feminine in MXY's body -his hair is a bit less messy [i miss you, random fly aways...] -he's of course a bit shorter like canon -his eye shape is more like my mxy sketches [so a bit sharper and more almond-like with some slightly more pronounced lashes] -he continues to wear the same earrings MXY did as well to prevent suspicion -He styles his hair in a halfup-halfdown to differentiate himself from his old self [which would be the ponytail or the down style] because he feels too obvious if he wears a red ribbon and his old style. -wears some sort of very typical robe instead of black and red. will deliberate on this down the line but i think the manhua robes he wears when he's early mxy is the coloring i want, dark but not black and red. *lwj probably struggles with this bc he wants him to wear something better and more familiar, but he will concede and get him something similar to what he was already wearing so he's not dirty and bloody.

-Once he's settled [not just when he gets found out, but after the battle in guanyin temple] he starts wearing his hair as he fancies however he'd like. Primarily this is the down style cuz i LOVE yllz style, but ponytail and the half-up style are things he will still do if he or his husbando wants it that way].

-He prefers to wear styles that make him look most like his old self, so the down style is preferred for both of them.

-MXY's natural body scent is kind of tinny from the way he died, but it dissipates over time. The rest of his scent is old notes from his home and Jinlintai, faintly of peonies and strangely some sort of woman's perfume that also fades with time...

-WWX takes the small amount of feminine products that MXY leaves behind, as he has a feeling there's something important about them to the owner's body. Once everything is over, he is able to use these for his memorial tablet.

[agent-troi]

Twenty questions for fanfic writers

I was tagged by the incomparable @baronessblixen 🫶🫶

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

104

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

396,351

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The X-Files, Star Trek, and I have one The West Wing fic

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Platonic Procreation

Security Questions

Eden

Mother Knows Best

The MSR Files

5. Do you respond to comments?

Sometimes! I usually try to respond if someone commented about something specific, and essay length comments always deserve a reply❤️ also if someone comments saying they reread your fic bc that's the best feeling in the world

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmm I only have a few that end angsty but I guess that would be my canon compliant post-IVF Rain King fic, Driftwood Lullaby

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Aqua Vitae, but I also wanna spotlight one of my earlier fics, in which Mulder gives Scully a real wedding ring for their case in Arcadia, Though the Heavens Fall

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've gotten a couple of nitpicky comments and one actual hate comment (ironically that one was on my most popular fic!😆)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No, I know it's popular but it's just not my thing either to write or to read

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't written one yet but I have several ideas for TXF/Star Trek, TXF/SVU, TXF/Bones gathering dust in my google docs😅

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not as far as I know

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Several! I contributed a chapter to Anahata: The Heart Chakra, Eden, The Amazing Muldeeni, and Agent Scully is Already in Love

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

MSR!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

A prequel to Purplerow by @katy-kt-katie, an AU in which Scully is an astronaut, about the time she made first contact with aliens on Mars (I really wanna finish this but life has decided to just keep throwing bricks at me and I haven't been able to concentrate enough to write in so long😭)

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've been told I'm good at dialogue😅

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I struggle so much with choosing the right word to describe something sometimes, and also finding alternative words to use when I accidentally use the same word four or five times in the same paragraph😂

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I like reading it! I think it adds to the atmosphere of the story, but I don't think I've ever done it myself except to copy and paste the German dialogue from Triangle😅

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Lord of the Rings, I wrote a sequel featuring Aragorn and Arwen's daughter and posted it on Instagram back when I was active in the Tolkien fandom circa 2015 (posting fic on instragram probably sound super weird lmao but it was what people did, they'd post a pic corresponding to the fic and the chapter went in the captions)

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I'm pretty proud of the fic I wrote last October for Mulder's birthday, Where a Million Stars Catch Fire

Tagging @katy-kt-katie @tofuttim @television-overload @cecilysass @slippinmickeys @skelavender @virtie333 and idk who else writes and hasn't been tagged so if you see this have at it lol

[ablatheringblatherskite]

y'all I need help idk which fanfic I should post next

Basically I have 2 that I'm planning to post soon, and update as I write them (I've never done that before so I'm nervous LOL). I already have a few chapters written for both, I just need to edit them. Which fanfic do you guys wanna see first?? (Don't worry, I'll start working on whatever's chosen second right after I post the first chapter of whatever wins)

The choices are:

Circus of Woe: When Wednesday and several other students of Nevermore are abducted, they find themselves being forced to perform in a circus. A twisted place run by a mysterious group of people who cater to the whims and desires of the rich who have nothing better to do. Being put on display for the wealthy to enjoy, even Wednesday can't find herself to enjoy such cruelty. And when they meet someone else unexpected who's trapped at the circus with them, they can't help but wonder: who are these people? And will they ever see the light of day again?

Woe is We:

Panting, body dripping with blood, someone else's blood. Tyler came slowly to Nevermore.

All that remained was the charred remains of the once renowned school, blackened and smelling of ash and blood.

Crackstone had succeeded. Laurel had won.

Here's the thing: For Circus of Woe, I have more chapters already written for it, so I won't be as pressured to write just yet. BUT I'm not AS excited for it just yet. But for Woe is We, I'm really excited about this one, but I have a lot less already written for it so I'm afraid I'll be more pressured when writing it/take longer to update.

Remember: BOTH will go up eventually! I just need to know which one goes up FIRST!

Also, if you guys have any advice for updating fics as I write, pls share because I've legit never done that before 😭 it's always been finish writing the entire story before posting 😭

[jimmyandthegiraffes]

Fic Writing Review 2023 🌈

Thank you sm @itwoodbeprefect for the tag!!!

I hardly published anything this year so if u wanna skip to 'projects for 2024' that's gonna be the most interesting bit >.<

Words and Fics (on ao3) 📚

words posted: 714 💀 but many more words were written, just not posted lol fics posted: 1 first fic/last fic ��: King of the Eyesores - Doctor Who (1963)

Ships and Fandoms ⚓

Doctor Who - no ships really but KotE is Mike Yates-centric.

Top 5 Fics by Kudos 🏆

It's KotE again lol which is at 6 kudos. Of all time, tho:

After the Hour(glass) - Night at the Museum (Jedtavius)

Less Than Ideal Circumstances - The Man from UNCLE (TV) (Napollya)

When They Sleep - The Man from UNCLE (TV)

Dismiss Your Fears - Back to the Future

After All, I'm Only Sleeping - Doctor Who (1963)

Top 5 Favorite Fics 💖

KotE......... I do actually rly enjoy KotE I think it has potential in terms of where it's going. But since I only posted one fic in 2023, I'll do my top 5 of fics I've ever posted. Apart from the first one this is in no particular order

tickertape - The A-Team (TV) it's my baby it's all I thought about for months of my life, it's like an iceberg (i.e. most of it is in my WIP doc, and only a tiny fraction is published so far), it got me thru a difficult time, it's an exploration of mental illness and complicated messy relationships expressed in epic format (i.e. it's probably gonna be novel length when it's done)

Bullet Number Six - Starsky & Hutch (TV) it received criticism for being obscure and hard to follow bc it switches pov briefly halfway thru but idc i love it anyway

I Gotta Right to Sing the Blues - The A-Team (TV) it was my first A-Team fic and I still think for a beginner it nailed some p realistic in-character dialogue and addressed an undertone I wished I'd seen addressed in the ep it's a coda to.

When They Sleep - The Man from UNCLE (TV) it's kind of riddled with certain mannerisms of my slightly older writing which I personally find a bit annoying and have worked to iron out for the sake of elegance over the years. but I still think it's a cool little exploration of all my sleep headcanons for the pair of them in one place

King of the Eyesores - Doctor Who (1963) see it made it to the list after all! I kinda like it more for its potential than for what it is right now butttttt who cares.

special mention to Unbereft (Starsky & Hutch) which I really really like but I wrote it in one frenzied sitting and only remembered after I'd posted it that it was very like someone else's fic I'd read several years previously. I don't think it's too much like to be taken down and I've since mentioned the writer of the other fic (it was dawnwind, hello!) in the notes. that's the only reason unbereft isn't in my top 5 because I'm otherwise really proud of how well it's written. Not to tootle on my own trumpet.

Fandom fic events

none RIP but maybe this year!!

Projects for 2024

Okay here we goooooooooooo

priority 1 is to finish the unfinished works that I've already half posted: King of the Eyesores, Every Line A Comedy, OUTATIME, The Windhover, tickertape, The Hanoi Bank Job and Other Misadventures, 38 Hours. Bolded are my top priorities.

other works that I'm writing but which haven't seen the light of day at all yet:

Dear Mike - an epistolary between Jo Grant and Mike Yates following her marriage to Cliff Jones.

The Lark/Behind That Locked Door (working titles) - a 30-chapter 2/Jamie fic about season 6B in which Jamie suffers permanent memory problems after the War Games. It explores grief, social ostracism, feeling abandoned, undirected anger, guilt, and acceptance that healing sometimes is a process that is never complete. I've been working on it since about 2016 lol but I'm lazy I just need to press on.

hell valley au - as yet untitled lol. In which the Hell Valley!Marty (who is never seen in BTTF2 as he is in Switzerland) and Hell Valley!Doc (who has been institutionalized) break out of their respective situations and go on the run together. But there's a problem - they had to leave Einstein behind, and when they get information that Einie is to be used for a dogfight, they make the risky decision to go back to Hill Valley to rescue him. However, going back to the place they just escaped by the skin of their teeth also brings them face to face with the last person they expect to meet.

a changed man (working title) - a Randall & Hopkirk (Deceased) fic from Jeannie's pov. mostly it's about their picnic excursions but it's also about Jeannie wishing Marty wasn't such an elephant in the room

mfu/rahd xover (untitled) - the first chapter of this is almost ready to go tbh. it's what it says on the tin lol, Napoleon and Illya go to London and get help from a rather eccentric private detective who has uncanny powers of solving impossible cases but also they think is probably clinically insane

to see him happy - VERY weird rahd fic. it's smut but its also about grief. might never post it because several of my family members have access to my tumblr and therefore my ao3 lol they dont need to see that

the winter of '62 - a study of jeff and marty's life when they lived together in a grotty bedsit and couldnt afford to put the heating on

star wars (untitled) - set during ROTJ, han pov. han's lost a lot of time and now everyone is one step ahead of him which isn't a sensation he's used to

skyrissian - what it says on the tin lol

the older gen (untitled) - jeeves fic about bertie's aunts and uncles and parents as they were as they variously grew up, got married, had children, died (or didn't), fell prey to alcoholism or insanity or petty crime, went to war, prospered (or didn't)... This is pretty unlikely to be finished this year tbh as it's very detailed but I can dream

a couple of long form fics about starsky & hutch and mfu respectively (the s&h one is set post sweet revenge, the mfu one takes place at various moments throughout the show)

x-files series - canon compliant until paperclip and then gradually diverges into how i think the show should have gone lol. another biggie

and a handful of tintin fics that im protective of and might never post but we'll see - one where tintin and chang go on holiday in london after picaros, one where the gang encounters rajaijah one last time (featuring a letter from didi, chang making a very daring crossing at the songolese border, and tintin taking about ten years to chop up a clove of garlic), and one where tintin gets shitfaced at an embassy ball and accidentally starts an Incident. haddock looks on, appalled.

i knoooooooooooooooowww this is a lot but i'm not realistically hoping to finish it all this year but it's nice to have lots of things to play around with lol.

unfortunately i have the eternal problem of not ever knowing which of my mutuals write fic and which of those havent already been tagged but imma tag @theteaisaddictive and genuinely if u see this and u write fic ur tagged i want to knowwwwwwwwwwwww <333

[justsomewhump]

Some random stuff after a long silence XD inspiration hits at weird intervals!

So I've already written a short whumpy fanfic for my current whumpee, and there's another long-ass one in the works, and I have found my people to daydream about him getting hurt, and I am so glad about that...

But I've reached the point of writing an R-rated whumpy fanfic, as I do, and I don't know my people there 😳 I can't just go to my current bubble and go like "Hey do you also like to see him getting ripped apart like that" because what if it's a trigger for them? I mean, there's a reason I post my R-rated fanfic on a completely separate account.

I'm sure there are people out there who would enjoy this. I've even found a very good fanfic with that subject matter, but... it was not a Dead Dove Do Not Eat kinda thing. It had all the proper warnings and tags (I mean, that's how I found it, lol) but in the chapter with all the... action, the writer said specifically where the action started and where it ended, so people could avoid the graphic stuff.

And still there was someone in the comments saying they liked it but they felt so upset because it awakened bad memories and I want to SCREAM like. The warning is there for a reason.

Anyway, I'm just saying that though it was properly tagged and a pretty good one, it wasn't... idk, that enjoying of it? Like, I've written some dark shit and it was unapologetically self-indulgent.

It's not bad that it wasn't that, to be clear. It's just that because it had a lot of comfort afterwards and focus on the character relationships, I'm sure that most people who read it wouldn't be ones who would throw themselves head first into the kind of stuff I like to read.

So idk I was just writing this as a vent that I haven't yet found the people who will do exactly that... but I realized I have to be the change I want to see.

And since I already have started writing something, I thought at first I could post it only after it's done in full, but I can just post a first chapter and see what comes from this. If anything I just wanna TALK about this with someone, lol, but I don't know who. My friends who would enjoy it are not in this fandom and my friends in this fandom I don't know if they'd be comfortable reading it. So maybe posting a chapter out there can bring me people from both sides :D

[emmerrr]

fic tag game

thanks for the tag @kelliealtogether !

How many works do you have on ao3? 106

What’s your total ao3 word count? 677,888

What fandoms do you write for? The Raven Cycle/The Dreamer Trilogy, All For The Game

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? The Road To Nowhere / Yes, Coach / Stay / The Bones of You / You go your way, I'll go your way too -- all AFTG fics. it's funny, i feel like i'm more 'known' (for want of a better word) for trc/pynch fics and i've certainly written more of them, but almost all of my aftg fics are considerably more popular if we're going by kudos.

Do you respond to comments? i used to reply to every single one without fail but it started to make me really really anxious at a time when i was writing a multi-chapter fic, because some comments really don't warrant a reply, but i got into a mindset of 'well if i reply to one comment i have to reply to all of them' and then i realised that i don't, actually! also i'm allergic to notifications so as soon as i read them i mark them as read, which makes my brain happier but also means i'm more likely to forget to reply. i always reply if someone asks a question, and i do try to at least reply to the first chunk of comments i get on a new fic though!

What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? probably burning bright right 'til the end

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? head over heels immediately comes to mind. also kick start my rock and rollin' heart. but tbh almost all my fics have happy endings, that's just how i roll. (also a lot of them are short oneshots that are less about narrative and more about vibes, so they don't all necessarily feel like they have endings as such!)

Do you get hate on fics? nope, i've been pretty lucky so far!

Do you write smut? i very occasionally write smut-adjacent lmao, but not really

Do you write crossovers? no, they don't really interest me

Have you ever had a fic stolen? i hope not!

Have you ever had a fic translated? yes, one. i've been asked quite a lot as well and my answer is that i'm fine with my fics being translated (with credit obviously) but only if they're being posted on ao3, i don't want them on any other site.

Have you ever co written a fic? nope 

What’s your all time favourite ship? i mean i've definitely written more pynch than anything else, but i ship a lot of things!

What’s a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? i don't wanna say that i'll never finish any of the fics i've started in earnest -- if i liked an idea enough that any of it all made it out of my head and onto a page then there's hope for it in the future. i'll get to them when i get to them!

What are your writing strengths? dialogue. it always comes the easiest to me. a lot of my fics start from conversations that popped into my head, then i get to write the situation to get that conversation to happen which is the tricky part!

What are your writing weaknesses? everything else! idk, world-building i guess? i don't think i'm that great at descriptions. i can do all the internal character feelings and emotions and stuff, it's just the external that i stuggle with.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? i haven't done it but i'm not like, against it?

First fandom you wrote for? technically lotr before i knew what fanfiction was, and i printed it out lmaoooo. i have no idea what happened to it i think i probably threw it away.

Favourite fic you’ve ever written? at the minute? Caught By The Light. ask me tomorrow and my answer will probably change!

not sure who's already been tagged, so if you haven't yet and you wanna do it, consider yourself tagged!

[wetcatspellcaster]

20 Q's for Fic Writers

Thanks @redrocketpanda for tagging me ^_^

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

11! 9 completed, 2 WIPs.

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

:)))))))) 831,063 :)))))))))) I don't wanna talk about it.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I am a fantasy videogames girlie, with a brief foray into Darklina sickness. I have written for BG3, Dragon Age, and Shadow and Bone.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 

Party Favours at 1,804

The Stars Don't Shine They Burn at 1,196

A Bleeding Heart at 1,133

Pieces Still Stuck in Your Teeth at 1,026

Eye of the Storm at 645

Before this year I had no fics over 1,000 kudos, so that was a cool development in 2023!

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to reply to everything, unless I am crippled by depression (or crippled by illness)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

That goes to!!! Sunblindness!!! The only time I've foregone 'I can fix him' for 'I can make him worse (and I deserve to, as a treat)'.

I was actually planning to end that fic with a major character death and then a close friend was like "jfc this is what people read for fun Emma, chill the fuck out"

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

The happiest ending is probably Party Favours? But I also think Stars Don't Shine They Burn with the 'I can't fix him I can make him fix himself, but at my end, I can also make us immortal soulmates' tied up pretty neatly, and I was very proud of it at the time.

(Also shout out to A Man's Word is His Bond for being the final chapter I'm happiest with.)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope, not yet! I've had some entitled comments and a few mansplainers, and if anyone sends a WRITE MOAR comment when I have 9 completed fics and over 800k for people to read if they want to, I'll likely become pissed. But no hate!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Queen of the Fade to Black, the moment anyone touches anything racier than a waist when I'm the one behind the keyboard I start blushing :')))))))))

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I have written one whole crossover, my darklina Shadow and Bone/Stardust AU, and tbh it sent me pretty feral at the time.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes :-) twice I think. it's fine.

12. There was no question 12 so I'll make one up myself: What's the longest you've ever spent working on one fic? And the shortest?

Screaming, crying, throwing up. I remember the Emma who used to only post fics once they were fully drafted. I remember writing a Zevran/Warden fic in a week in the height of living alone in lockdown. I also remember writing A Bleeding Heart in a worryingly brief 3-week period.

Then I got hit with the crippling depression. The longest I've spent working on a fic is 19 months for Sunblindness when I got the Big Sads.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope! Not a group projects girlie. I'm here to cater to me and me alone.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Lol. Of the ones I've written for, it's a tie between Zevran/Surana and Astarion/Tav, as their dynamics were the funnest (seems rogue/mage is my jam). Of all time, it's Spike/Buffy - I have no need to write for them bc I am already well fed.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have a Darklina Wintersmith AU that I have 2 out of 3 chapters down for and then BG3 full release happened. But the depressing answer to this question is 'original fiction projects' - I want to try and write something original but my confidence always fails me. I'm trying to transfer the things I enjoy about fic to original stuff to combat it but I'm not there yet!

16. What are your writing strengths?

Idk man, who could say? I think I'm good at dialogue/banter bc that's the compliment I receive most often in comments. I also think that if I've got a plot-twist in mind from the very beginning, I usually land it? The rest of the plot might be squiggly and messy as fuck, but if a scene was there when the fic was dreamt up (the ending of Sunblindness, the stag scene in my Stardust!AU, the agoraphobia reveal in A Bleeding Heart, the study scene in Pieces, etc.) then it usually ends up being received well and being exactly the way I pictured it in my head.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Can't write smut!!! It's the only thing holding me back!!!

(also if I have the choice between describing something in a sentence or in 3 paragraphs, I usually pick 3 paragraphs. Sometimes this is good, sometimes this is a fucking travesty. See answer to question 2!)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Amazing and encouraged but not something I can do, as I am bad at languages so it would just end up being a colonial hate crime facilitated by google translate.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Dragon Age: Inquisition!

20. Favourite fic you've written?

Despite the way that Full Access recontextualises it, my favourite fic is absolutely A Bleeding Heart. It was so much fun to write, it was my first time doing unreliable narration, and I was really proud of the plot twist in the final chapter. Also for someone who doesn't write smut, the fact that I got a friend to walk out of their house with the hair-pulling scene made me very smug tbh.

Tagging anyone who wants to do this!! I have made a bunch of new friends and mutuals lately, so if you're a writer and you want to answer these qus please do this so I can see your answers.