#I don't usually write for these two so sorry if I butchered them :(

[kr-starz]

Modern Teen CaitVi, Vi is a few years older than Jinx and Jinx is like a little puppy trying to follow her and do what she's doing all the time. Vi doesn't mind it, she actually kind of liked it and missed it when Jinx finally detached from her hip. If Jinx wasn't hanging off of Vi, she'd be hanging around Ekko.

Whenever Vi has free time, she decides to spend it at the public library where a particular academic prodigy likes to visit. Vi and Cait knew each other from Elementary school, where Cait and Vi were always managing to be around each other and soon became friends. Until Cait switched to private schools that took up a lot of her time, as she began most of her extracurriculars.

But as Vi got older, She and Cait got closer, they texted and if Cait couldn't talk then she'd be at the library studying. Vi knew that and visited her very often.

They'd bicker and Vi would distract Cait from working, she'd show her new and exciting things she's done, showing off a concert she went to recently, bragging about a game she recently won, etc. Sometimes they hang out at Vi's place, where they flirt awkwardly or just talk about their crazy different lives.

Vi is a big sports fan

Caitlyn does archery and knows how to hunt, she goes with her mother every season to hunt for deer.

Vi does wrestling and has gone to boxing lessons

Vi occasionally gets into fights with the neighborhood kids for stupid petty reasons

Vi got really excited when Cait said she was into sports, but they had very different reactions when Vi pulls up Basketball and Cait pulls out fencing

[revolutionsingingintherainnn]

Hii i love love love your desi reader fics!! It would be really nice if you could write an Oscar Piastri x desi!reader fic maybe reader is a fan of Oscar and meets him accidentally? and they kinda hit up immediately? like a strangers to lovers fic <333

crashing and clicks ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

๋࣭ ⭑⚝ op x desi!reader ¸.♡.¸

๋࣭ ⭑⚝ fluff ¸.♡.¸

masterlist ☾☼

travelling to an expensive country like monaco, and watching the monaco grand prix had always been a dream of yours. your sole motivator for years of working had been to earn enough money to spend a proper one week vacation in monaco, including paddock passes for your favourite team, mclaren, and a chance to meet your favourite driver, oscar piastri.

you had a camera around your neck and you clicked pictures as you walked through the streets. people, cars, building, the sheer luxury that screamed from every atom in the city. you were trying to build a portfolio. something good enough that you could quit your 9-5 job and pursue photography full time. you had an instagram account already. you shared your pictures, and you got likes and comments. you had a decent following, though, nowhere near how you much you would need to be a good, reliable photographer.

of course, your parents had questioned that multiple times, with the usual questioning of "what will people say?" "how will you live on such an income?" "just find a rich man to marry first, then do all of this."

you had indulged in their line of questioning the first two times, and then gave up. nothing would stop them from convincing you a steady income was better and photography was a hobby, not a career. you understood that it came from a place of concern, but it still hurt a little bit.

your body clock reminded you that it was time for some chai. apparently, no matter what timezone you were in, at 5 o'clock, your body instantly craved tea. quickly looking for a nearby cafe, you walked in, making sure to protect your camera.

standing in queue, you quickly put your camera inside your bag carefully, and pulled out the amount you would need as you surveyed the menu. a chai tea and an almond biscuit would do.

quickly ordering and briefly chatting with the woman at the counter, you waited at the side for your name to be called. you knew they were going to butcher up your name, so it was easier to just stand close and wait for your order on your own.

when they called out your name, ruining it, of course, you quickly took your hot tea and the plate with the almond biscuit, and turned, looking for a place to sit. finding a corner table near the window, you started making your way over. the cup was filled to the brim, and you were trying to make sure that it wouldn't spill.

just as she reached her table and was about to set her cup down, someone crashed into her from behind, muttering quick sorries as her drink spilled all over the table, and her hands nearly soaked in the hot beverage.

"oh my god, im so sorry. um, are you hurt?" you were ready to fight whoever made you drop your tea. but you knew that voice. you heard it in videos over and over again.

slowly turning around, you came face to face with oscar piastri. the oscar piastri.

if you'd met him in any other circumstance, you would probably have been more excited. for now, your spilled tea was a much bigger concern.

your eyes fell on the spilled cup, and you said in a small, dejected voice, "my chai,"

oscar followed your gaze, instantly realising what you were talking about and why you seemed so sad. "oh my god, i'm so sorry! my friend and i were playing around, and we didn't mean to spill your drink,"

"yeah, really sorry about that," a voice, lando norris' voice said from behind oscar, looking apologetic and mildly amused.

"don't worry, though, oscar's going to buy you another drink." lando stated, clapping a hand on oscar's back.

oscar turned to lando, confused, "i am?" and then immediately turned to you, "i mean, yes! i am! i'll buy you another drink!"

you sighed, "no, it's not necessary,"

"no, no, i insist. i spilled your drink, i should get you a new one," oscar insisted.

you wanted to say no, that it didn't matter. but oscar piastri was offering you a drink. that felt like a once in a lifetime opportunity.

you agreed.

oscar immediately smiled, and you smiled back. you didn't know why, you just wanted to after seeing his soft smile.

"great! well, i've got to run, so enjoy your little date!" lando said, before rushing off.

you had forgotten that lando had been standing there too. his insinuation that this was a date made you blush. this wasn't a date. right? he was oscar piastri. you were you.

regular people don't go out with rich people on dates.

oscar gestured for you towards the counter, and with a shy smile, you did. he followed closely behind, a little air of awkwardness between the two of you.

"what were you drinking?" he asked while the two of you waited in line.

"oh, i had ordered tea. never got to drink it, though," you teased.

oscar smiled softly, "i am sorry about that,"

you nudged him slightly, "it's okay, i was just teasing,"

"so, a chai tea?"

you stared at him incredulously, "how dare you?"

oscar's face filled with panic, "what? what did i do?"

"it's not chai tea! it's either chai or tea!"

"but it's called chai tea!"

"no, oscar! chai means tea! tea in hindi is called chai. so, chai tea is essentially-"

"tea tea,"

"exactly!" the two of you had moved up the line, your hands flying as you spoke animatedly.

once at the counter, you ordered your drink, oscar sneakily paying for it after you insisted on doing so, and this time, oscar held your drink as the two of you walked back to the same table where you had originally spilled your drink.

the two of you sat together. the two of you talked. about anything and everything. it didn't really matter. you had plans for the day. you were sure that oscar had plans for the day. but, well until after sunset, the two of you sat at the table, ordering drinks after drinks, and just kept on talking.

you told him about your country, and your life growing up, and what you were doing in monaco. he told you about his country, and his life growing up, and the differences in the media about his job.

you told him about your career, and your passion, and your freedom. he told you about his career, his team, and his independence.

you told him about your pet, and your favourite moments with your best friends, and your beautiful, beautiful mother.

he told you about his trips around the world, and his favourite moments of having lando as a teammate, and his beautiful, beautiful mother.

there were so many things to talk about. there wasn't enough time. technically, you were going to see him the next three days because you've got the paddock passes. but, you won't be able to spend time with him. and it made you a little sad to think about.

oscar walked you back to your hotel. the walk was a little long. but you didn't mind. you got to spend time with him. that's what you wanted, and that's what you got.

somewhere, sometime along the way, your hand ended up tucked in the inside of his elbow. somewhere, sometime along the way, he leaned in closer to you. somewhere, sometime along the way, you realised that oscar piastri was everything you had been looking for.

you weren't sure if it would work. for one, it would have to be a long distance relationship, with minimal visits from your end because money was always a little tight. for another, oscar had an ever-moving job. there wasn't any stability, at least not that you could see.

what were the chances that it would work?

before he left, he asked for your phone number. of course, he did. you gave it to him happily, albeit a little shyly. you were going to see him the next day. he knew that too. he made you promise to text him once you had reached the paddock, because he wanted to see you.

oscar piastri wanted to see you.

you agreed.

that night, you went to bed with a smile on your face.

the next morning, you checked your phone as soon as you woke up, not sure what you were expecting. but whatever you were expecting had come true, because there was oscar's message right there on the top, telling you about how excited he was to see you.

you danced your way through your routine, you sang your way to the paddock. you had a smile on your face that you couldn't erase, and you just had a good feeling about this.

as soon as you reached the paddock, you texted oscar. though, before you could find him, lando found you first.

"hey, you're the girl from yesterday!" he exclaimed, pointing at you slightly.

you laughed, "yeah, that's me,"

"what are you doing here?"

"i have the paddock passes for the three days, and oscar told me to text him once i reached,"

lando smirked, "oh, he did, did he?"

your cheeks heated up.

"y'all are cute already. come on, i'll take you to him," lando said, and began walking.

you followed him.

you were nervous suddenly. how were you going to greet oscar? what if he didn't want to see you inside wherever lando was taking you? what if he just wanted to have a quick chat with you and move on?

to distract yourself, you took pictures. people, drivers, the paddocks, everyone and everything.

lando noticed your camera, and made you promise to show some later.

finally, you reached oscar. he was in the team kit. his eyes lit up when he saw you and your heart did a little something funny.

"y/n! hi!" he said, as he rushed towards you, stopping right in front of you.

lando giggled, slapping oscar on his back as he walked away.

"hi,"

"you made it!"

"i mean, i did have the paddock passes," you teased.

his cheeks became pink, just slightly, as he rubbed the back of his neck, "that's true, yes,"

"i'm happy to see you, though," you said, taking a brave step forward.

he smiled radiantly, "so am i,"

and then, he led you around the paddock, introducing you to people as if he hadn't just met you yesterday. he showed you all kinds of places, told you all kinds of things. you clicked pictures as much as you could, wanting to add them in your digital diary.

and that's how your three days went by.

oscar showed you every place possible, you captured everything you found beautiful.

now, if most of the phots ended up being oscar's, that's not your fault. he didn't have to be beautiful.

you captured the cars on track, and you captured the fans. you captured the team reactions, and you captured the machinery.

you captured pictures of lando laughing with his team, and you captured pictures of oscar discussing with his race engineer.

just after qualifying was when everything changed.

lando had pole position, with oscar starting p2. it was a papaya front row. both drivers were excited to win for the team. after the interviews were done, oscar had told you that he would change, and then he'd drop you back to your hotel. while you waited in the paddock for him, lando approached you.

"show me the pictures you took," he said.

"you demand a lot,"

he rolled his eyes, smiling, "alright, show me the pictures you took, please,"

you giggled, "that's more like it," and you handed him your camera.

you were suddenly nervous about him looking at the pictures you took. they weren't amazing, but they weren't bad either.

lando went through the pictures, focused, and your anxiety grew.

just then, oscar approached.

"hey guys, what's going on?" he asked.

"osc, you didn't tell me how talented she is,"

"what do you mean?"

you chewed on your lip.

"i mean that these pictures are fucking good. i bet if we show them to zak or andrea or whoever, they'd hire her,"

"lando, come on-" you started.

"i'm serious, y/n. come here, oscar, look at these,"

oscar shifted towards lando, leaning over his shoulder to see.

"guys, i haven't edited them yet, and like, a lot of them are trash-"

"fuck, these are really good," oscar didn't say 'fuck' a lot, and for him to be saying it in the moment seemed like a big deal.

"y/n, what if you edit these pictures tonight, and get them tomorrow to show to the media head?" oscar asked.

you hesitated.

"look, you wanted to pursue your passion, but you were worried about the money, right? this kind of solves all of your problems," he stated.

"what other problems? long distance kinds?" lando teased, wiggling his eyebrows.

"shut up!" oscar said, though his ears were tinged red.

"okay. i can do that. it's worth a shot," you said, staring at your camera, before you looked at oscar, who was already staring at you, "right?"

"right." he nodded.

you took the camera back, and you walked with oscar to his car. the two of you made idle conversation. your mind was buzzing with the million possibilities of what could happen tomorrow, not just with the race, but with your career.

you knew that lando and oscar weren't so cruel that they'd lie to you. but you also knew that you pictures weren't as good as they claimed it to be.

"hey, don't overthink it, okay? go with the designs and the pictures you think are the best," oscar softly encouraged you, as he parked in front of your hotel.

you nodded, taking a deep breath, before you leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek, "thank you,"

and you climbed out of his car.

you were awake almost all night, designing and redesigning your pictures, choosing the best of the best from your trip. you were filled with anxiety, but you also felt alive. you were excited to see where this would lead to.

just before you went to bed, close to 5 am, oscar's name popped up on your phone.

"come an hour earlier, please" he'd said in the text. you had replied immediately, letting him know that you'd be there.

another message came from him, but you were already out cold by then.

you woke up buzzing, excited to see the reactions you would get for your photography. you tried not to get your hopes up too much. there was a big chance that all of it could end up meaning nothing. but, you were still grateful for the opportunity.

as per oscar's request, you arrived at the paddock an hour early, immediately walking to where you knew oscar would be. it was funny how you knew the paddock so well already because of oscar showing you around.

you found oscar quickly, and he didn't waste any time in grabbing your hand and pulling you into an office.

"where are we going?" you asked.

"the media head wants to see you,"

"damn, i don't get a hi hello then?"

oscar stopped suddenly, causing you to crash into him. he turned to look at you. the two were you were standing close, closer than ever before.

"hi, y/n," he said with a smile.

"hi, oscar," you replied, matching his grin.

"ready to go now?"

you nodded, "yes,"

and he began pulling you away again.

once he found the media head, he pushed you towards her.

taken slightly aback, you introduced yourself, and handed her your ipad with the pictures on it.

the media head was nice when she spoke to you, but once she started looking at the pictures, you began to worry again.

you turned and looked at oscar, who gave you a little thumbs up of encouragement.

she nodded, handing the ipad back to you, and you quickly took it from her.

"they're good. they could be better. you could start with an internship position here, and we go forward from there, if you're willing,"

"yes! thank you so much!" you exclaimed.

she discussed the logistics with you, about meeting with the legal team later and meeting zak and andrea, and everything. all you could think about in that moment was that maybe the thing between you and oscar could actually end up being something real.

safe to say, everything went smoothly after that.

as soon as she was out of your sight, you immediately turned around and threw yourself in oscar's arms, unable to stop yourself. oscar hugged you back eagerly, his arms wrapping around your waist tightly.

as you pulled back, you whispered, "thank you,"

oscar smiled, the two of you still wrapped in each other, "this way i get to keep you with me everywhere,"

you laughed and nodded, "who knew a stranger crashing into me could lead to all of this, huh?"

oscar blushed again, "i did apologise for that!"

"what if we go out again and i'll make you try proper tea?"

he smiled, his eyes flicking to your lips once, "i'd like that,"

years later, on your wedding day, you posted pictures of oscar in his sherwani clicked by you, with the caption "from crashing and clicks to forever dreams come true."

•´¨*•.¸¸.•*´¨•.¸¸.•

hi! thank you so much for reading! i'm still trying to figure out how to write oscar. i think i relate more with lando and max personality-wise, so it's easier for me to write rpf about them. anyways! this was my first oscar x reader! i hope you like it. this is my prompt list, so y'all can select a number, give me a driver and i will write it as soon as possible! i also have a google form for a taglist if anyone's interested! you can sent in your requests here :)

[pumpkinickel]

A Mix-Up || Egon Spengler x reader

Summary: Gender-neutral reader mistakes Elon as Egon (they really do look alike from the back!)

Relationship: Egon Spengler x gn!reader (established relationship)

Word Count: 669

Warnings: Not beta-read, but other than that none! This is just fluffy slice of life

Author's Note: This is actually a little old (early 2022). I'm currently writing for a different piece of media BUT I thought "hey, why not post this now because...why not!" I've always been kinda shy to post my writing on the internet in general but to hell with it tbh ! Cringe culture must die and I love my blorbos past, present, and future too much lol

On AO3

It was a regular, snowy day in downtown New York. Ray was in the downstairs of the firehouse, fixing whatever new problem the Ecto-1 had come up with. Janine was reading some magazine with smart shopping tips while Louis was on the phone discussing taxes, the latter having piles of paperwork on his desk. Business during the holiday season usually slowed down, and that meant getting to spend more quality time with the guys. Peter and Winston were engaging in a friendly but competitive game of pool, and Egon was nowhere in sight. He mentioned something about “bringing a surprise” to the station, baffling everyone since Egon certainly wasn’t the surprise type. You sat on the couch, head propped up by your hand, watching as Peter lined up his shot.

"I never understood this game," you said with a yawn.

Winston had a small laugh and shook his head. "It's alright, kid, neither does Pete."

"Hey!" The other man said as he thrust his cue stick, completely butchering the shot in the process. "I just don't play this game often enough, alright, Z? I got no practice,"

You and Winston share a laugh at the expense of your colleague, Peter placed his hand on his chest in feigned offense. Winston took his shot, clearly doing a better job than Peter as the other man had scowled as the ball went into the hole. As the two continue playing, the sound of familiar footsteps enters the second floor. Turning your head, you smile brightly as you finally see your boyfriend Egon. His back was turned, preoccupied with refilling the snack cabinet in the kitchen. As he rummaged through the seven eleven bag, you took the chance of slowly sneaking up behind him to give a surprise hug. The two men playing pool had paused their game to watch you, amused from the sight of seeing you crouch up behind their friend.

“Gotcha!” You yelled as you wrapped your arms around Egon’s torso and chest, placing your chin on his shoulder. Unexpectedly, he was completely frozen, unlike how he would usually turn around to return the hug. Your expression quickly morphed into one of confusion as the seconds passed and he stayed completely still.

“Anyway, Elon, I want you to meet-” You whip your head to the left to see Egon standing next to Ray, both the men having mildly concerned looks on their faces.

“...(Y/N)?” The man you were hugging spoke, his voice only slightly different from Egon’s but you could tell it wasn’t your boyfriend. Hastily taking your arms off him, you spew out apology after apology, face fully red.

“I’m so sorry! God I- I should’ve known the second you didn’t hug me back I-”

Elon waved his hand with a laugh, the other guys in the room except Egon cracking up as well. “No matter, no matter, at least I know my little brother is well loved,” Elon took the liberty of pulling you in for a hug this time, and just like Egon he was surprisingly good at giving them.

Egon’s cheeks turn a light pink color from his brother’s statement as he pulls you in for a hug and forehead kiss. Elon had headed over to the billiard table to greet the two men who ended their pool game. The mood in the room turned joyous as all the guys had not seen Elon in a while, making this occasion a real treat.

“Sorry, Eggs, he really does look a lot like you,” you whispered. He smiles before putting his lips on yours, causing your face to go red once again. Getting kissed by Egon certainly did not get old no matter how many times it happens.

“It’s alright, (Y/N), I missed you too.”

Ray called out, “Hey, lovebirds! Get over here before we finish all the pizza.”

You pull away from Egon and adjust his tie, taking his hand and walking over to the others to get a fresh slice of pizza.

[lunatic-pudge]

Vampire P1 Dude Headcanons

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So I had some request for what kind of mythological being the Mercs would be so my brain immediately thought of vampire Postal Dude. He isn't even apart of the TF2 timeline but oh well. I find Dude would be a vampire, though I am willing to hear people out on something like zombie Dude or werewolf Dude.

Using P1 Dude cause he fits the vampire thing really well. Any objections will be met with me ugly crying and asking why.

And if anyone wants, maybe I could write a little something something based off this when I have the time. Or if anyone wants to write their own fic, I'd love to read it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-So Dude as a vampire. Poor thing is STRUGGLING.

-He's a borderline agoraphobe (like me), so going out to feed is super hard for him. He's glad that he only can venture out at night. Daytime is scary

-So pale it's unbelievable. He doesn't even look real at times, it can be scary. He's so paranoid about any sunlight entering his home. He thinks even sunlight will infect him with the hate disease

-Super quiet. You'd think you'd be able to hear him walking around but it's like he's floating with how quiet he exists. He tends to scare you quite often with how silent he is. He doesn't mean to scare you and will make up for it with hugs and kisses

-Your blood is his favorite. But he understands that you kinda need it to live so he only takes your blood sparingly.

-He makes sure that when he takes blood from you, he's careful with it. He'll get you comfy, make sure drinks and snack are readily available for afterwards, constantly asking if you're okay with him feeding on you and to let him know if you don't want this. He can be a bit of a worried mess. Just reassure him that it's okay to feast

-His fangs are long and rather sharp, he eventually cuts himself on them at times by accident. So while it hurts to get bit, it's not too bad. It really is like going to the blood bank and donating some blood. It is a draining experience so by the time he's finished, you'll be rather exhausted. He'll gladly lay with you and make sure you're okay afterwards. He might fear that he took a little too much but he's just being paranoid. Dude knows to not take too much from you

-Loves walking around the local cemetery at night. He knows there won't be people around to bother you two

-Being with Dude means changing your sleep schedule. I'm sorry if you're a morning person. You will have to learn how to be a night owl with Dude. Once the sun comes up, he's locking himself away in his room and refusing to come out

-Loves watching you sleep. He finds it interesting watching you resting and how gentle your chest rises and falls. How he can tell when you're having good dreams or bad ones. He especially likes to play with your hair and give you little kisses on the cheeks while you sleep. Making a promise to kill anyone who wrongs you

-He usually bring his victims home. He'll have them knocked unconscious as to avoid too many problems. He'll drain them of their blood and save any of it for later. He'll skin and butcher them up and give the flesh to Champ. So be sure to avoid the "meat" in his fridge. Don't question why there's so much of it either. He makes sure his baby is taken care of

[vaguesxrrow]

edwin x alive reader where the reader is like the opposite of edwin sort of? they’re very outgoing and pretty naive and very nice to everyone? they also don’t really have a filter. (established relationship pls) and like edwin is constantly like about to have a ghost heart attack from keeping them out of trouble but he loves them anyway

again, thanks for your patience and thanks for the request !!

edwin / alive!reader - polar opposites

a/n: i hope this is what you had in mind! it was definitely a challenge writing this type of character but i hope i did your idea justice :))

wc: 802

tags: gender neutral reader, alive reader

"aww, a dog!" you cooed, moving to go pet the dog you saw laying on the floor. its eyes shone as it looked up at you, practically begging to be pet.

wordlessly, edwin yanked you by the arm back into his side. at this point, it was second nature to him to tighten his hold on you whenever you drifted from his side for even a second.

"hey!" you protested, pouting.

"do not tell me you do not remember the last time you tried to pet a stray,” he said. “because it was not exactly a forgettable experience.”

you smiled guiltily as you recalled the event.

⌦ --

you and edwin had been in the woods on an investigation for a case - the ghost of a very talkative squirrel had brought it to your attention that there was something, or someone, stealing away the inhabitants of the forest.

suddenly, there was a 'meow', and you immediately looked around trying to find the source of the noise. edwin was nose-deep in his notebook, furiously scribbling away. you had no doubt he was conjuring up some brilliant idea or solution - edwin was just a genius like that.

your face split into a grin when you located the cat. "pspsps," you called. "here, kitty kitty."

it meandered towards you, eyes glowing with innocence.

"edwin!" you called. "come here, there's a kitty cat!"

his head whipped in your direction and his eyes widened. "[name], do not pet that thing-"

"but why not?" you said, reaching out to scritch it behind the ear. "it's so cute- OH MY GOD-"

the cat yawned adorably - or at least that wad what it looked like at first. it's jaw kept expanding, revealing rows and rows of sharp teeth and allowing a foul smell to waft out. you scrambled backwards, falling into edwin. from his pocket, he pulled out another volume you recognised as the spell book. in quick successesion, he muttered a spell at the cat and reduced it to ashes. panting, you tried to catch your breath and calm your speeding heart (which had sped up much quicker at observing edwin's efficiency as he protected you).

edwin looked at you accusingly, a wordless reprimand in the way his eyebrows were raised.

you grimaced. "it was a kitty cat?" you tried.

he snapped the spellbook shut. "after the fiasco with the cat king, i thought you'd be more wary."

"well, i'm sorry that the cats i've encountered aren't usually magical!" you exclaimed. “and besides, we solved the mystery - go team!” you cheered and lifted a hand for a high five.

he rolled his eyes, tugging you along by your raised hand. leaning in to his side, you smiled at him. "thanks for saving me, edwin."

"yes, yes," he said nonchalantly, even as he bit back a smile.

you kissed him. "my knight in shining armour," you cooed.

⌦ --

"it's not my fault i don't have as much experience with the spooky industry as you do," you pointed out, shrugging. "and besides, it's hot when you protect me."

a blush rose to edwin's face as he spluttered. "you cannot just say things like that!"

oblivious to edwin's state of embarrassment, you diverted your attention to a baby passing by in a stroller and waved at it excitedmy. "you two made such a cute kid!" you told the parents. if they looked at you a bit strangely at your choice of wording, you didn't notice.

edwin put his arm around your shoulder, guiding you forward again, before you found another animal to pet or another infant to befriend.

⌦ --

the bell to the butcher shop jingled as you burst through the door, edwin trailing after you. you were balancing a cardboard tray of four coffee cups in your hand, having generously offered to go on a drink run for jenny, crystal, and niko.

"hi, jenny!" you called. "i'm back with my ghost boyfriend!"

jenny slammed her cleaver down on the chopping board, an exasperated expression on her face, as the customer at the counter turned to you questioningly.

"oops." you winced apologetically. "uhh. no ghost boyfriend here! he's, uh definitely not real.. and not hissing at me about subtlety..." you inched closer to the counter, setting down jenny's black coffee cup. "okay, it was nice meeting you, stranger! i like your jacket, and i totally don't have a ghost boyfriend! bye!" you waved to the stranger as you disappeared up the stairs. "see you later jenny!"

edwin followed you into your room, looking at you in half bemusement, half disbelief. "while i am a ghost and cannot suffer from such conditions," he began. "it does feel like i go into cardiac arrest every time i have to keep you out of trouble."

"yeahh, but you looove me," you sing-songed.

he smiled. "i do.”

[lighthouseshepard]

dollins prompt here goes.

so i've always imagined that noel wouldn't want to be called charlie because that's who he was before (gestures vaguely) all the shit went down. could you write him + collins talking about that??? prefereably in a gay manner???

if you do i'll send you more doodles 🤭🤭🤭

HI HELLO SORRY THIS TOOK ME SOME TIME this is the first dollins thing ive written so. hopefully you enjoy it (: (not sure if it fits the bounds of the prompt exactly but!! its where my brain went!!)

"So," Dennis says with an anticipatory lilt to his tone that Noel inmediately doesn't care for in the slightest. "Charlie, huh?"

The name is said so casually, Noel almost doesn't process it. He glances sharply up from where his gaze had been fixated absently at a point beyond the other's left shoulder, attention lost somewhere in the smooth curve of the bathroom sink's porcelain.

"What?" he stutters out, "did you just call me?"

Dennis doesn't even flinch. He pauses in his meticulous work, the razor held inches away from Noel's stubble-covered jaw.

"Charlie?" he says again. "That is your name, isn't it, sweetheart?"

Noel's voice smooths out into a tone he hopes is calm, ignoring the way his fist curls up into a tight ball against his leg. Years had passed since he last heard those two syllables uttered in his presence. Encountering them here of all places was jarring to say the least. "Where did you hear that from?"

Dennis shrugs. "Little birdy told me."

"Collins."

"Ah, come on now," Dennis protests, grinning. "We aren't on a first name basis, detective? I woulda thought givin' you a nice shave so late at night would earn me something."

"Charlie is not my first name," he grinds out through half gritted teeth. "And you offered to do this, if you'll remember."

Dennis pauses to step back, flipping on the sink long enough to rinse the razor clean for another go. "Well, I felt bad," he admits, turning back to face Noel with a wink. "Considering you kinda can't and all."

"Who's fault would that be?" Noel huffs.

"I didn't ask ya to smuggle me out of the station," Dennis remarks. "You did that on your own."

"You shouldn't have come up to see me mid-day! I signed those release papers, yes, but it doesn't absolve you from everything you did after."

"I missed you, alright? Jesus, lad, let an old man be sentimental for once."

He takes a step closer, eyes flicking down to Noel's bandaged hand resting in his lap. From where he's perched on the edge of the bathtub, there's a tinge of guilt visible in Dennis's quiet expression Noel doesn't know what to make of. He feels it as a barbed flutter somewhere along his chest, twisting pleasurably in and out of the bones of his ribs. Dennis reaches down with the hand not currently holding the razor, but Noel shifts imperceptibly away from him.

"At least let me have a proper look at it," Dennis pleads.

"No."

"Come on, Charlie, like I said. I feel bad. I don't even know how ya managed to break it on the way out."

"Yeah, well I don't know either," mutters Noel, ignoring the name again. "Maybe somewhere along trying to shove you out the fire escape?"

Another shrug. "Maybe. I, uh... look, I won't come visit anymore if you don't want me to, you know. Didn't mean ta get you all in a twist."

Noel sighs heavily, a smile he wants to regret but finds himself fully incapable of curving the corners of his mouth. "Now I didn't say that exactly, did I?"

Dennis hums, a few notes of a song Noel had come to know well by now just from being in the other's company. The tune did not so much as haunt the Butcher as it accompanied him through every waking moment like a dog at his heels, often whining, usually content to leave him be so long as he fed it scraps of acknowledgement every once in a while. Not for the first time Noel wondered in objective fascination what went on behind those blue eyes, what kind of subtle symphony played out while his hands twisted around a spool of bloody piano wire. Or, more pressing, what he may have been thinking while he held a razor delicately to Noel's throat.

"I could have done this myself," he protests not for the first time without much merit. "Doesn't take two hands to shave."

Dennis merely smiles again, not deigning to give him an answer. The blade scrapes against day old stubble effortlessly, sharp enough to cut if he moved without warning.

"You sure are puttin' a lot of trust in me here," Dennis reminds him, "holdin this blade to you, Charlie."

"Oh would you - ow!"

He winces, reaching up to dab at the tiny bead of blood on his neck as the razor slips. Dennis frowns.

"See? That's what I mean. A lot of trust. You gotta keep still, lad. We can't have this pretty face of yours all bloodied up, now can we?”

Noel watches him raise a soft towel snagged off the countertop to the side of his neck, dabbing at the spot he nicked. Curious, how hands more familiar with the cold unforgiving angles of a gun or the resolute handle of a knife could touch him so gently. 

"Alright, out with it," Noel sighs. "Where did you hear that name, Dennis?"

"Like I said-"

"No, don't bullshit me. We're both too smart and too old for that. Just tell me."

"I, uh..." he trails off. "I looked inta ya."

"The criminal looking into the detective?" he scoffs, shifting on the edge of the tub, unable to keep from leaning into Dennis's touch even if he wanted to. "The irony is unparalleled."

"Had to know who was chasin' me, didn't I? It was a long while ago, back before I knew you.”

“You don't know me,” Noel mutters, his deflection falling short of convincing.

The towel lifts from his face with an accompanying chuckle so soft it seems to float, filling the single foot of space left between them. Fingers trail down the edge of his jaw that had already been shaved clean, dipping lower to trace the scar along the side of his neck. 

“Aye, I know you, alright,” Dennis says quietly. “Just like you know me, detective. We're opposite sides of the same coin. You could look in a mirror and see me as easily as you'd see yourself.”

“Dennis,” he starts helplessly, but he's interrupted before he has an opportunity to continue searching about maddeningly for the right word.

“Besides, do you really need to hear where I got that name from? Would it change anything? We might be the only two alive to know who it belongs to.”

“Yes,” Noel says pointedly. “I do, goddammit.” 

“Hmm,” Dennis mumbles. “Maybe if you keep perfectly still while I fix up the other side of you here, I'll tell ya.” 

His hand falls back to his side. Noel feels the scrape of the razor once more, drawing a path down by his temple. He isn't certain necessarily if trust was what allowed him to hold himself in this fragile position, or if a bizarre fascination was responsible. Perhaps he was growing soft as the years went by, he thinks. Perhaps he was simply too stupid by his own choosing to fully comprehend what he had fallen into. 

“Charlie’s dead,” Noel murmurs, lifting his chin so Dennis could get a better angle. “I killed him two and a half years ago.”

“I killed a lot of people and their ghosts still stick around,” Dennis says contemplatively. “Addin’ their notes to the music. Charlie’s a nice name. You get real pink every time I say it.”

“Is that a confession?” Noel drawls. “I could have you arrested for that, you know.”

“You could, sure. You could lend me a kiss for all my hard work here keepin’ you presentable, too.”

“You’re awfully demanding for someone I should rightfully have in handcuffs, you know that?” Noel mutters, but as gray eyes find blue, he lets the shift in an atmosphere suddenly charged through with subtle electricity wash willfully over him. 

Dennis grins, the razor halted, his lips an inch away. “Don't make promises you can't keep."

[bluestar22x]

The Future

The Outcast - Epilogue: The Future

Summary: Just like winter, the end is just the beginning

Pairing: Pero Tovar x F!Reader

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 2,700 (ish)

Warnings: Mention of a baby goat (kid) having died, angst, pregnancy plot, non-graphic labor and birth, fluff, pov changes, quintessential happy ending

Author’s Note: This is a very self indulgent bonus part - you can read the first four parts and have a satisfying ending if this kind of ending isn't your thing. For those who do like this kind of ending guess what my favorite line(s) to write was.

Also, any names I used in this fic were themed and/or meaningful. And if one of my running themes of relating winter with life instead of death wasn't apparent, it should be now.

xxx

Death is far from a stranger on a functioning farm. Even though you usually sold your old, infertile goats to the nearest village's butcher instead of culling them yourself, that still left a whole slew of other ways for you to witness it. Illness, lethal injuries, stillbirths, and difficult deliveries that ended badly for the doe or her offspring or both had all occurred on your farm more than once.

You'd accepted it, and your need to hunt, a long time ago, because you loved the simplicity of this kind of life. You loved being mostly self reliant, knowing you could be fully self reliant if need be, and you loved the companionship of the animals you were dependent on.

Sometimes though, the deaths still hurt. Like when River, your first horse and Meadow's mother had died a few years after you'd moved onto the mountain, due to colic. She'd been in so much pain for so long you'd been forced to end her misery with a knife. The senseless guilt you'd felt after had lasted for weeks.

That was the most you'd ever cried over losing an animal, until one spring morning a year after Pero had decided to stay.

You tried to hide how upset you were by the latest death on the farm when you returned to the cottage to cook a morning meal for you both, but as soon as he followed you inside after an hour of chomping wood, you uncharacteristically started sobbing on sight of him.

Eyes filled with concern, your husband silently approached and gathered you up in his arms, kissing your temple as he did so. You took a deep breath and focused on his soothing warmth, his reassuring broad hands that slid up and down your spine, trying to put yourself back together.

"What has you so upset, mi esposa?" he eventually asked, nuzzling the side of your face, his short beard scraping against it lightly.

You stepped away from him, leaned against the kitchen counter top on one hand, and looked back to him. "It's one of Sweets' kids, the one who was sick, I found her dead this morning."

"I'm sorry cariño," he said quietly, dark eyes serious. "I know how hard you tried to save her."

You shook your head fiercely. "It's not that, I could handle that, it has happened several times before, but it's the way Sweets reacted when I removed the body from the paddock. She started bleating and desperately searching for her, even though she had her other new kid alongside her, even though the body had been cold when I discovered it. Hearing those sounds from her broke my heart."

"It doesn't help I kept thinking -," you paused, eyes widening as you realized what you'd been about to say.

Pero frowned at the way you'd cut yourself off. "It doesn't help what?" he prompted gently.

You sucked in a deep, shaky breath. You figured you might as well not hide it from him. "It doesn't help I kept imagining what she was feeling. Putting myself in her place. I don't think I could handle it if I lost the baby that way."

"The baby," Pero repeated, lips parting in surprise. He reached out to you and tugged you back to him, his arm looped around your waist. "Mi amor, are you saying what I think you are?"

You nodded, fresh tears flooding your eyes, joy overcoming your trepidation. "I am. It's still early, I'm probably only two months or so along, but I'm certain."

You hadn't bled in that time, and had felt nauseous many times over the previous month, neither of which was normal for you. Your emotions had been all over the place lately too. You'd never been a super stoic character, but you were usually far from the emotional wreck you felt like that morning.

Pero beamed at you and the shock of it left you breathless. It was a rare sight, his smile, let alone one that obvious. He leaned forward and kissed your cheek softly, lovingly, showing more affection than you'd once thought him capable of. "Everything will be alright, cariño," he reassured you.

It was not something he could actually promise, no man could act as a god, but his words comforted you anyway.

"I'll need to find a midwife who would be willing to stay the winter with us," you told him nervously. "If I'm correct, the baby will be born in the final days of the year or the early ones of the next. The passage will be closed off by then. When my sister visits I'll ask her to help me search for one."

Pero caressed your cheek with a thumb. "I'm sure an older one without family to care for would agree to stay with us in exchange for coin and free room and board. If not, I will convince them."

You arched your eyebrows, understanding what he meant. "I appreciate the offer, but please don't threaten any of the village midwives, especially the elderly."

"I cannot make any promises, mi amor."

x

Winter had never come faster. Not because it actually arrived sooner, but because there was so much to do before then. In the late spring you and Pero planted your garden and a part of the field with enough crops to keep all the animals and yourselves through the winter.

In the early summer your sister and her husband visited with their four children, two girls and two boys, and for a week the tiny cottage was chaotic. The children were always running off doing something adventurous while your sister helped you milk the goats and Pero and your brother in law worked together to build an additional room to the cottage.

As summer neared its end and your belly rounded, you began to focus on smaller tasks. You still cooked and cleaned, you still took care of the horses and goats, and some of the weeding in the small garden behind the cottage, but Pero assisted you and he took on the tasks that were more dangerous by himself, like hunting. He did the extra work gladly, wanting to do everything he could for you, never feeling like he could do enough.

Harvest came around and your brother in law returned to help with the crops, the midwife your sister had found for you in tow. Her name was Franny, and she was strict about what you could and could not do, having you rest most of the day when she wasn't helping you knit baby clothes, but she was kind, reminding Pero of the one grandmother he knew for only a decade before she passed. It took him time to get used to another adult being in the cottage for so long, but he figured a newborn would be an even bigger adjustment, so he adjusted.

The first snowfall was almost a shock, the months having flown by in a blur, and Pero began to feel anxious. Even with Franny in the spare room, what would later become the baby's room, being closed off from the village for a whole season with you in your condition and eventually a newborn worried him. So many things could go wrong, you of all people knew that, but you would have never agreed to leave the farm. As far as you were concerned if Franny couldn't help you, nobody could, and he supposed you were probably right.

Your prediction about your due date turned out to be precise, your first pangs of labor beginning during an early afternoon at the start of the new year.

He'd found you in the barn, sitting on a square bale of hay with an arm curled around the huge swell at your abdomen, grimacing as you endured the first painful wave.

And then everything moved far too slow. He helped you into the cottage and watched as Franny got to work, prepping for the delivery, clueless about what he could do. Franny was no help there. Traditional as could be, she would've shooed him out of the cottage for the day, no matter the cold, if you hadn't insisted he stay.

He wasn't sure if he wanted to stay, as useless as he felt, as fearful as he felt, but he did it for you. He scraped his mind for ways to help all the while, assisting a dubious Franny in setting up the bed for you, gathering enough firewood to keep your home warm for a couple days, and caring for all the animals on his own as quickly as he could before returning to your side to let you squeeze his hand as your contractions continued to strengthen at an agonizingly slow pace.

It wasn't until morning the next day that Franny declared it was time for you to push. She had you sit up in bed and undress halfway with Pero's help before she prompted you to spread your legs and bend your knees. You pressed your back to Pero's chest after, using his body to support your own.

Through gritted teeth you bore down with several contractions, panting and breaking out in a sweat from your efforts. Pero kept his face close to yours, murmuring encouragement into your ear as you struggled. And when you reached back and grasped one of his a thighs tightly in an attempt to distract yourself, he let you, not caring whether or not it bruised under your fingertips if it helped you cope.

As the minutes passed, as you tired, your chest rising and falling rapidly, your legs trembling, he became concerned something might be wrong, but Franny remained calm, continuously urging you to keep going.

"A couple more," she promised you. "A couple more good solid pushes and it'll be over, sweetie. Don't give up now."

Pero saw it in your eyes, the moment you mentally and physically dug your heels in and began pushing with renewed determination, and he was awed, not sure how you'd come by the reserve.

Finally your laboring paid off and you slumped backwards into his arms, relief washing over your face as a sharp wail pierced the air.

He glanced from you to the small, wet infant flailing in Franny's arms, and his world shifted.

Outside, snow began to fall.

x

Ten years later...

"Why do I have to go?" the seven year old girl before you bemoaned. "Why can't I stay here?"

"You're not old enough to stay here by yourself, Stela," you explained. "Your brother wouldn't even be allowed to stay by himself and he's three years older than you."

"He's old," she stated and you couldn't help but chuckle.

"Maybe, but still not old enough."

Stela pouted at you then continued to put on her winter coat and boots, a long dramatic sigh slipping from her as she stood up from the kitchen chair she'd been sitting in. You thought she was far too young to be turning into a moody teenager, but guessed it was the part she'd inherited from her father breaking through.

You finished assisting her five year old sister, Lene, with her coat before leading them both outside into the frigid night. Lene immediately dove head first into the fresh snow layered on the ground gleefully, while her older sister folded her arms and stomped her way over to the front of the barn where Pero and her brother William were waiting for them.

Out of all of your children, William looked most like his father, his eye shape, chin, and nose all miniature copycats of Pero's. Stela had his eyes, but was more like you, physically, and Lene reminded you of your sister. However, they all shared Pero's dark hair and eyes.

"Ready to ride?" Pero quizzed Stela as she trudged right past him. He frowned when she showed no sign of hearing him and met your eyes. "What is she upset about this time?"

"She's angry about being outvoted," you replied. "Said she didn't want to see the stupid lights again and wanted to stay home. She's definitely your daughter."

Pero chuckled and pulled you against him at the hip with one hand as you both trailed your children into the barn to saddle up the horses.

Lene assisted her father with Orion, a four year old colt who was the youngest offspring of the since retired Clover and Thor, grandson to the deceased Meadow, and Pero's new mount. Like his sire, Orion was jet black in color, except for the small crystal shaped star marking that was usually hidden under his forelock. His surprisingly calm disposition was more like Clover though.

Your latest mount, a five year old solid bay mare named Aspen who was Orion's full sibling, was equally as quiet once she'd settled into adulthood, and you had her tacked in no time as Stela watched, still moping.

Last was Thunder, an eight year old bay gelding with a stripe shaped like a lightning bolt running down his face. The most well behaved and eldest offspring of Clover and Thor, Thunder had been assigned to William when he got old enough to start riding on his own.

He was still too tall for William to saddle him, so Pero flung it over the horse's back for him, but the young boy took care of the rest, a true horseman despite his youth.

Once you, Pero, and William led your horses outside the girls approached, Stela hesitantly letting Pero boost her up onto Orion, and Lene begging you to set her in Aspen's saddle. You and Pero climbed on your horses so you were behind them while William found a stump to help propel himself onto Thunder's back.

Someday the children would learn how to ride bareback, but it would not be that night, so you lived with it, though the wind was making you shiver and yearn for the shared body heat.

You led the way up the mountain as was tradition, your family making the trip at least once a winter, more if the children wanted to ride out that far in the dark.

Lene loved it. Loved everything, really. The girl had more positivity and enthusiasm than you and Pero could've ever had combined.

William enjoyed it as well, already into nature as much as you were, and just as quiet about it.

And Stela, well, she often spent most of the ride brooding and complaining about the cold. That night was no different.

Once you reached your destination, you, Pero, and William slowed your horses to a stop a few yards from the edge with your horses shoulder to shoulder so everyone had a great view of the lights.

While the children had grown older (far too quickly), and you and Pero had long since started to grey, the lights had remained the same, seemingly everlasting, tying the years of memories you'd shared together as they shimmered in the sky.

You looked to each of your children in turn and smiled at the delight on their faces, even Stela's, before you glanced to Pero, who was studying your face. You hoped he would never tire of it, cause you certainly wouldn't tire of looking at him, especially when he was holding your middle child by the hip to steady her, to make sure she wouldn't fall off Orion. He was always watching out for his children like that and whenever you witnessed it first hand your heart always threatened to combust.

Fate was not something you'd believed in when you were young, but the older you got, the more you weren't so convinced there wasn't something bigger out there at least nudging you towards the future you were supposed to live out. How else could you have been so lucky to find Pero in time? How else could he have been so lucky to have been chased up your mountain instead of any of the others in the chain that were uninhabited?

One change in events and you'd have never met, or he'd have never turned back come spring. And then you would've never married, and your children would've never been born. You would have spent the rest of your life in tranquility, happy, sure, but never quite fulfilled.

Whether or not fate was real, you were grateful.

You stretched your hand out towards Pero's and he automatically intertwined his fingers with yours, having long lost a hesitancy he'd had towards sharing that kind of intimacy with you.

"Let's head back home," you said simply, and he nodded, turning Orion away from you, for once choosing to take lead.

Guiding you into your future, like you had guided him home.

xxx

Tagged: @elegantduckturtle @harriedandharassed

xxx

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

xxx

[ex0rin]

oh look a distraction from work!

tagged by @jdeanmorgan (thanks! 😘)

10 questions for 10 writers

How many works do you have on AO3?

195, would have been more but i recently orphaned a whole pile of them (sorry if this is the way you're learning of it)

What's your total AO3 word count?

686,289

What fandoms do you write for?

i know i haven't written anything in like two months, but i'm still going to put The Walking Dead since all of my active WIPs are from that one - but like, in general i write whatever i'm into at any given time (prev: The Boys, TFATWS, CA: TWS, Witcher, Watcher Entertainment, general rpf, etc etc)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I SWEAR I TRY i'm just so fucking bad at it, when i'm in an upswing of writing i don't want to stop to reply (which makes me an asshole) and then when i can't get words out i'm just too sad to try and respond to everything... usually once a year (right before @febuwhump i do a full two weeks of JUST responding to as many as i can from the previous year) (so i guess if you haven't heard from me, wait till January 2025 😅)

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i have! multiple times. almost ALL rpf from Buzzfeed Unsolved stuff weirdly enough

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

also yes! i think the only one(s) posted are the ones with @ponderosa121 (Gotham, Constantine) but i've done some Very Good and Very Long RP fics with @sparklingbinjuice that one day i'm going to make into actual fics and post

What's your all-time favourite ship?

why do people keep asking me this 😅 if you asked me RIGHT NOW (which is kind of what's happening) i would say neggie (negan x maggie) but this answer is subject to change at the drop of a hat. a month ago it would have been cegan (negan x carl), seven months ago it would have been butchie (butcher x hughie), and before that it was winterbones (rumlow x bucky) or hell, roosmav (rooster x maverick) and so on and so forth

What are your writing strengths?

smut. descriptive smut.

What are your writing weaknesses?

dialogue. jesuschrist i hate writing dialogue (esp for negan, fuck that guy and his tone and innuendo and run on sentences) (affectionate but still annoyed)

First fandom you wrote for?

first posted on AO3 is for NBC Constantine but that's only from 2015 and i've been writing smut since the late 90s 🙃 reader-insert for Star Wars was probably the first thing i ever wrote (before i even really knew what fanfic was tbh) (luke x me babyyyy) but some of the first stuff i published to an audience back in the yahoo groups days would have been the UK queer as folk or... shit, gundam wing probably?

(also, sidenote but tfw you realize charlie hunnam was in the UK QAF on this day of our lord 2024???) (just need a moment while my childhood watching queer as folk collides with my adulthood adoration for pacific rim crash into each other)

okay, anyway, tagging: @sparklingbinjuice @the-ravening @unlikelymilliner @winterbonesthings @duchessonfire @sequencefairy @crushcandles @grianhole @stunt-lads (my tenth @ is whoever would like to participate! you can say i tagged you)

[milo-the-professional-yapper]

Hello! about your malevolent ask

[long ass answer- many apologies]

its a slightly goofy, sort of horror soap opera, in the vein of call of cthulu/tma. I dont find it Super Scary, but idk what your milage for horror is.

The overarching plot is drivin by the patrions (sp sorry), in the style of a choose your own adventure novel- you can usually tell where the choices are; it'll be something like 'omg arthur, we're at a crossroads- do we go left, to the evil cavern (where the horrors live) or right, to the evil woods (more horrors).' You can also hear more overt RPG stylings in the beginning- dice roll sounds for perception checks, etc. These do fade out after the first season.

Rough outline (some spoilers): John (a spirit/demon type guy) possesses Arthur (a detective from Arkham MA) and, in doing so, takes over his eyes. Now Arthur must navigate the world with only the guidance of the voice in his head. Horrors unfold, walls are walked into the boys are in their get-along consciousness. Think venom, if both of them were way bitchier and prone to swearing. and also eddy was blind.

IS IT GAY: Yes and no. If its a friendship, its really intense- but cannonicaly it has been very firmly stated that they are just friends. However, the relationship is intertwined and deep enough that many people consider it to be queerplatonic- Arthur being aromantic is a very popular interpretation, if that sweetens the pot for you (idk how loosely you're using gay here). Glib answer: its pretty queer, but no kissing.

COOL STUFF:

-A dramatic, intense relationship between a guy and the dude who lives in his head. They argue ( my god how they argue) they make up, they argue again.

-The saddest little english man (arthur) gets chucked off cliffs multiple times. Do you like men whimpering? This is the podcast for you!

-Very impressive voice acting: the writer voices absolutely everyone in the podcast (yes. everyone) and its genuinely almost unnoticeable. You really do have to have it pointed out to you.

-Fun, slightly campy (in the way of an rpg campaign) Lovecraft style horror

-Lovely piano soundtrack

-A gentleman called the butcher shows up in- what season 3? maybe?- and I adore him. Go singing irishman go. You get that violent homoeroticism.

Drawbacks:

Again, I don't really know your taste, but these are some of the things that might turn someone off from listening. YMMV etc.

-LOUD. If you dont like gentlemen yelling DIRECTLY AND ANGRILY INTO THE MIC then this is not for you. If you do like that, then you are about the have the time of your life. There is also just. An incredible amount of panting/heavy breathing. Also directly into the mic, and at length. Like, an 'i am secretly watching gay pornography' amount. I had it going on a speaker once and my roommate had questions, kind of amount

-Almost no women characters: understandable, since a dude is voicing Literally Everyone- but it is something of a sausage fest. Women exist in universe, they just tend to move in the backround/be unvoiced. Lots of 'oh heres whats happened to her' sort of describing around the 'I can't voice a woman' issue. One old lady has a few voice lines and thats it.

-Kind of a soap: This is a draw for me ngl, but if you are looking for TMA 2: the magnusing- she isn't it. Its a LOT lighter than tma, writing wise, and isnt exactly hitting any crazy new twists in its plot (if you've read Any lovecraftian stuff you probably wont be super surprised by anything)BUT. Its still very fun. Two dudes sharing a body, detective roadship shenanigans. They might kiss! Might see some skinned bodies or something.

The dynamics can be a lil repetative (wake up break up back together) and the plot can be a little- ehhhh. due to it being yk, patrion controlled- but that can be fun- it's pretty heavily a choose your own adventure story at heart, so if your down with that (and the sillyness that comes with it) then you'll like it.

-Gore: pretty gory. I enjoy that sort of thing/ am not really effected by it BUT if that not your cup of tea, then you might wanna skedaddle.

🤠 thats all. Again, apologies for the very long answer.

First off- don’t apologize! This gave me everything I needed- thank you for the detailed answer to my question! Looks like I’m giving this podcast a listen- everyone wish me luck 😭

[cannotbestormed-scharfuehrer]

Alright lets talk about STALKER. Which faction(s) do you usually support? I've always been partial to Clear Sky. Former scientist determined to make right the sins of the past through pen and sword is just cool to me. Also have you played GAMMA? I'm having a ton of fun with it, but i understand how some think it deviates from the original vision/atmosphere of GSC.

Favourite faction? The SBU/USS in Call of Pripyat. I know they're technically the same as the Military faction in the first two games, but there was a significant change in their role and depiction when CoP was released. Come to think of it, this brings fascinating implications about the evolution going on in the Ukrainian society during the period when the Stalker trilogy was being made.

I do have a soft spot for charismatic villains, especially when they're not one-dimensional and there's some nuance in the writing, like the Cæsar's Legion in FNV, but this is not the case. There was nothing appealing about the Military in SoC and CoP. They were just an even more bland subfaction of the Bandits, even the special forces with their gorgeous Mi-24 helicopters.

Call of Pripyat feels different. I love Mayor Degtarev and the Operation fairline boys, I'd kill and die for them. The previous protagonists, Strelok and Scar, have that whining, loser mentality typical for Eastern Europe, best summed up by that one Werner Herzog's movie title: everyone against everyone, and God against us all. They don't really trust anyone and act mostly selfishly. Meanwhile, Degtarev and the Fairline crew went in the Zone for a serious mission since the Kiyv government finally got to get its shit together and try to solve the Zone problem once and for all. The final mission with the choppers flying in felt absolutely badass, like I was evacuating Mariupol. Besides, I loved the mercenary missions, standing up to some anglo boys doing shady business for rich western fucks. Sorry, Timmy the Merc. Not in my Zone, not in my Ukraine, I butchered them all with glee hehe

So yeah, at this point playing as the SBU is one huge power fantasy trip for me. But I have much love for the Clear Sky, too, because the devs wrote them absolutely loveable. Their goals and attitude towards the Zone are both reasonable and noble (Appolinian and solar, even), their armour is peak aesthetic (that camo!) and it's hard to not root for them as the underdog (total Renegade death). Moreover, their camp is the coziest place in the trilogy and I'd gladly live there, even pay the rent. Pic related. I still have this quiet hope they'll somehow return in S2.

Anyways, thanks for the ask and absolutely *no* apologies for all that mucho texto.

[just-a-carrot]

hey transitions anon back again! I was struggling with sprite (transforms?? animations???) when I sent the ask (still cannot get that scene from Fantastic Wonderland out of my head where Buck butchers the rabbits and the parts fly lol its so wellmade), but I'd love to see how you do with your CGs and scenes too if you have the time or want!!! (Still thinking about the CG in the first arc where Orlam dips Genzou in the water, it hurt but it looked so cool)

sorry for the delay in this i've been having some really bad dizzy spells the past few days making it hard to be on the computer much 😵‍💫 but i've tried to put together a short basic tutorial here with some fundamentals for sprite movement!

since you mentioned the bucks scene i thought i'd just walk through how you could recreate that as it includes pretty much all of the basic ATL that i use for the majority of my sprite movements. we'll be recreating this scene in ren'py (well, the animation at least):

under the cut! (i'll also share a link to the full code for this scene at the end so you can see the full thing more easily with all the interwoven stuff). note that this is not really written for complete ren'py beginners as it assumes at lease some basic familiarity, such as needing to define images, etc, as i don't really talk about that

i will say first off that none of the actual animation coding... script... stuff is actually that complicated at all. it really only uses a few different commands. it's more how you use them than anything that's particularly complex

the main command you'll use ridiculously often when moving sprites around is ease. ease just tells "something to happen to an object over a period of time with a small ease in and ease out on both sides." this something could be the object moving somewhere (most common) or something else like the object blurring or going transparent, etc.

so for instance you could write ease 1.0 xalign 0.5 and this would just mean "move this object to an xalign of 0.5 over a period of 1 second with a slight ease in and ease out on both sides of the movement." xalign align here is just saying a position aligned horizontally on the screen with 0.0 being the far left and 1.0 being the far right (meaning that 0.5 would be right smack in the middle). you can also use xpos instead of xalign. xpos just refers to a more exact position not relative to the screen and based on the left edge of the object... i tend to use a combination of the two depending on what i need. like if i need to move something completely off the screen i don't normally use xalign because it starts to get all weird since it's relative to the screen. anyway, you'll see some of these in action for the scene in just a bit

so at the start of this scene, bucks is at the center of the screen. i moved her there originally using this code:

the show command is just how you show or move an image on the screen. so here i'm moving the image bucks_axe angry to xalign 0.5 over a period of 0.8 seconds with an ease in and ease out on both sides. this command happened before the gif started, so bucks is now already at the center of the screen. what happens next?

she needs to go running off the screen to the left!

this is very simple... you just need an ease!

this moves bucks to a position of -1.5 over a period of 1 second. as i mentioned earlier, usually when i'm moving stuff off the screen entirely i switch to xpos. this xpos is super to the left actually, i'm not quite sure why i made it so intense now that i'm looking at it LOL oftentimes if you just have a small sprite you only need to move it to like xpos -0.5 or so depending on how wide it is. anyway, this time she goes all the way to -1.5, which is part of why it looks like she moves very quickly because she has a ways to go in only 1 second

then what happens...

this is a little bit more complex as we're going to have to talk about knots. first let's talk about the red screen and the shake. these are both handled with this code:

the top line is telling the bg to shake. this is a custom transformation i wrote myself called hbounce. i have it defined in the top of my script file (or in my first script file when i use multiple files) and it looks like this:

feel free to use it if you want! it's just a rapid-fire sequence of very small eases and xoffsets that when triggered will make it look like the object shakes.

in this instance, the object shaking is the bg, but you can also use it for sprites. i like using it for energetic expressions or like if the sprite is supposed to be doing something that would realistically have a bit of movement

you can use this transformation on any object by using at, just as you see in the first screenshot. so show bg at hbounce, or if you wanted to make bucks shake, you could type show bucks_axe angry at hbounce

next i make the screen red by introducing a new image i have called red that's literally just a 1280x720 red image. i start it off at an alpha of 0.0, which means it's completely transparent. then i use ease 0.5 alpha 1.0 to make it fully visible over of a period of 0.5 seconds.

now things are gonna get a bit more complicated... first i'm going to make the bunny heads and arms appear on the screen. but i need them to be offscreen to the left first, so i first use some code to place them there:

this makes 2 bunny heads and 2 bunny arms appear on screen at various positions. all of them are offscreen to the left (either -0.5 or -0.4). and they have different yposes (ypos is the same as xpos just for vertical instead of horizontal).

now i need them to move onscreen while making an arc downward and going offscreen at the bottom... complicated. you need to use knots for this sob. i hate knots as i always need to tweak them a bajillion times before i get them right, but they're necessary sometimes. knots just make something curve rather than move in a straight line. so the code for the downward arc movement for each object is:

you'll notice each of these is slightly different. that's because i did them all manually to try and make them look good... it's annoying.

first up, you'll see that i repeated the initial position for each object. that's because for some reason knots don't work properly if you don't have the initial position defined within the same command (including both xpos and ypos)??? also if you use xpos/ypos for the initial position, you need to use xpos/ypos for the final position (you can't use xalign/yalign). so the first line of each is just a repeat of the positions from the previous screenshot

then comes a long one. linear 1.0 pos (0.7, 1.4) knot (0.4, .0) rotate 90. this is saying "move the object to a position of xpos 0.7 and ypos 1.4 over a period of 1 second except have it arc towards a position of xpos 0.4 and ypos 0.0 while also rotating that object 90 degrees" WHEW

a ypos of greater than 1.0 will put that object below the bottom of the screen, which is why the heads and arms look like they're falling offscreen. i could not really tell you a good strategy though for figuring out the knot... what i usually do is start by setting it about halfway between the initial position and the final position, then tweaking it based on what looks good by testing it a gajillion times LOL there is probably a better way to do this but i do not know it...

(btw the difference between ease and linear is just that ease puts that small ease in and ease out on both sides of the movement while linear is just a straight movement; i usually use ease for like 95% of my movement as it looks much softer, but sometimes i use linear depending on what needs to happen)

anyway, each of the heads and arms has a slightly different final point and knot, so they all fall just a bit differently, which is good for making it look more realistic (if you could call flying bunny heads and arms realistic)

the next couple movements are going to be basically the same now that you know how to do this:

bucks just needs to move to the opposite side of the screen, followed by the same screen shake, red screen, and flying bunny limbs. you're just going to need to reverse them for the ones on the other side. so first i move bucks to the other side of the screen (offscreen right) using this:

(remember that an xpos greater than 1.0 will be off the screen to the right while an xpos of less than 0 will be offscreen to the left, although since it calculates from the left edge of the object, you'll need to usually do like xpos -0.5 to get it fully offscreen)

then comes the complicated stuff:

so just like before, first i have the bg bounce. then i make the red screen become visible with an ease of 0.5. there's some pauses in there. and then i have the bunny heads and arms appear from the right offscreen this time and fall to the left and offscreen on the bottom. it's the exact same code just with the positions kinda semi-reversed and my heads and arms are flipped...

you might be wondering why i'm constantly showing and hiding and changing alpha for various objects somewhat haphazardly. this is because objects you show later will show on top of objects you show earlier. so whenever you see this type of stuff happening in my code it's usually just because i need to ensure the right things are showing on top... sometimes i need to use a few tricks, like actually showing an image way earlier but having the alpha be 0.0 so it's invisible, then later i change the alpha to 1.0. this lets it still show on the bottom even if i show other objects later. there might be a better way to do this too LOL but i do not know it. my scripts are constantly full of these types of weird tricks that don't make sense at first glance until you figure out that's what i'm doing hahaha. half the time if i haven't looked at it in a while i forget myself what i was even doing...

ok now to the last part (hopefully this hasn't been ridiculously confusing). bucks needs to return to the center of the screen and start spinning, then move offscreen...

this starts out simple using a command we all know and love to get her in the middle of the screen:

now we need to make her spin! for this, i defined completely new images for bucks called bucks_axe spinslow and bucks_axe spinfast:

each image uses an image i defined previously as a base: bucks_axe normal. which is just my basic bucks_axe image. then... i flip it horizontally twice in a row and repeat it. an xzoom of -1 will flip an image. while an xzoom of 1 will show an image normally. an xzoom of 0 will make the image look like a tiny line at the center of the screen LOL you can use xzoom to flip a sprite horizontally if you want it to face the other way. and if you use ease with the xzoom, then it'll make it look like it's actively flipping rather than just instantly facing the other way. the repeat at the end here just tells it to keep repeating forever, so it'll keep flipping back and forth, making it look as though it's spinning. i have a slow version defined that takes 0.6 seconds to make a complete spin, and a faster one that does it in only 0.2 seconds

now, this was just defining these objects. this doesn't show these objects on the screen. remember you can only do that with the show command. so next we need to actually show the spinning bucks:

first i show the slower version for a period of 0.4 seconds. then i show the faster version for a period of 0.4 seconds before having the spinning bucks go shooting off the screen to an xpos of 1.8. having the slow version switch to the fast version like this is what helps it look more like she eases into the spin

once she's offscreen, we get to the final part of the scene, where the heads and arms spin upwards very comedically:

for some reason this took me forever to get right. i had to mess around with the code a ton before it started acting the way i wanted it to. tbh that's really what so much of this comes down to. writing code you think could possibly work, then testing and tweaking it 50 million times until it looks how you want it to look. anyway... for this part, the heads and arms have been set up very similarly to the spinning bucks, with each of them having a new defined version of them rotating:

here i have 2 rotating heads and 2 rotating arms. some of them rotate clockwise 360 degrees, while others rotate counter-clockwise 360 degrees over a period of 1 second. and then they repeat so they just keep rotating forever. the rotate_pad True in the middle here makes it so that the objects don't change size while rotating and thus won't start changing position as they rotate. i don't fully understand it tbh but it's necessary if you want your rotating objects to stay in one place while they rotate

now that you have these rotating bunny pieces, they need to jump from the bottom of the screen, hover for a moment, then fall back offscreen. this is, as always, just a series of eases...

each bunny piece starts below the bottom of the screen (greater than ypos 1.0), then leaps up onscreen (ypos 0.0) over an ease of 0.8 seconds, then falls back below the screen (ypos 1.5) over an ease of 0.8 seconds. and i put small pauses in between so that they come up one by one...

...and that's it!!! that's honestly all it is. every single piece of movement happening here is just an ease or a linear to move the object to a different xpos or ypos (or xalign/yalign). some of them are a bit more complex, like when i add a knot in the middle of the movement to make it arc or have base defined images that are spinning or rotating. but the fundamental animations really all just come down to those types of movements

i realize this tutorial might not be nearly as clear as it was in my head as i tried to type it up, especially if you don't have much experience with ATL in ren'py to begin with, so you can feel to ask me any specific questions you may have if something doesn't make sense or if there's something else you're trying to do that you can't get to work

since i only copy-pasted bits and pieces of the most important code to talk about above, i thought i would also share the complete code for this snippet here: https://wtools.io/paste-code/bT61

this way you can see all the rest of the code around it to see everything in context, as well as all the other stuff like how the text is in there, pauses and sounds, repeated stuff i didn't bother to include in the copy-pastes, etc. realize ofc that you can't just copy-paste this entire snippet into your own projects because it references a lot of images you don't have!! LOL however, you can copy-paste bits and pieces of it for different specific movements if you want!

and as i mentioned earlier, feel free to ask me any questions!

[eldritch-spouse]

Sorry if you've already answered this - the search function is broken for me, but how do you maintain confidence in work? Like not in the work itself - that will always be subject to your mental state, which usually goes in cycles. I mean in the sense that "to deserve to create"? I often go months without creating because I look at the page and go "my talent isn't worth cultivating" even if I have at least ONE piece I am proud of. It's not about comparison, it's just knowing it will take me a long time to get anywhere near where I want to be, and finding it a struggle to know what I see in my head will be butchered on paper over and over again.

This is going to get long-winded, so I'll put it behind a "read more".

I don't know who put this idea that you need a permission to create in your head. That creation and expression is something to be gatekept. That it's not a right you should have as a person. That you have to do it a certain fucking way, or it's "not right" (TM).

But, let's be real, it was probably you, wasn't it?

You told yourself that you don't deserve to create. That you'll never make anything "that matters".

No one else is telling you this. You are.

Can I be real with you here?

This isn't something you fix with an ask, it's something you save up and bottle and take to a psychologist. Because it has to do with your general attitude in life, and to me, reads as a pretty big flag that help is needed. Maybe.

I know because I was there. I am getting out of there. And this isn't something you want to let spiral into a "Why do I even draw?", "It'll always be ugly.", "It'll never develop.", "It's never good enough."

"I'm never good enough."

You don't want that. Work on this immediately. I can't help you, but I hope you can find that help.

That being said, I'm sure you know things aren't developed in a day. Especially not skill.

I don't know anything about talent. Because I don't have any talents. Talents are like fairytales to me. What I have, is a crumb of skill. But skill is better than talent, if you ask me. Because skill is gained, skill is the fruit of hard work, skill is knowledge. Talent is more of a happenstance.

If you think you have a talent, then that's all the more reason to want to work on it!

Do you think I'm happy with the stuff I make? No. I don't like the way I draw most things. The way I write bothers me. I can't project shit onto paper. That's why I keep doing it. Because I want to correct it and make it better. I'm sure you're able to see one or two things improving amidst the mistakes you crank out, and that has to count for something. You have to cling to those victories and use them to power you forward- Because we're never satisfied. We always want better, and it's intensely satisfying to see yourself get closer to that goal, no matter how far away it is.

You lack serious motivation, that much is clear, otherwise this process would be minimally enjoyable for you. Taking a crack at daunting things would make you nervous in a happy way, it wouldn't serve as a reminder that "you'll continue to butcher everything".

Anon, I'm just an idiot with a pen and an overactive imagination. I'm not "confident" in my work, I'm just happy that I'm making things in general. I won't ever stop until I can make all the characters I've ever dreamed of feel alive. Because that's simply what makes me happy. I have no real goal. I know I've "butchered" plenty of drawings before and I will continue to do that forever, but I'll be having fun.

And that's what matters.

Although it would be pleasant to become better with time and practice, even if I don't evolve that much, I'm happy. This makes me happy. I'm over the moon I get to have this.

I don't know how to explain to you that confidence is meaningless to me here. This is sacred to me and I refuse to let anything ruin it.

[shnheralith]

Me or your stupid games? ( Kuroken )

~~~~

Warning || Emotional and Physical abuse

Tags: Sfw,underage, quarrel, relationship

A/N : it was way much more better in my imagination. Sadly i butchered it with my poor skills of writing.

.

.

.

It was 8am when kuroo decided to chat kenma to ask if he's free later just to hangout.

But to his disappointment kenma's busy with something else. His games.

Three days ago he's been playing and playing that stupid game that he also forgot to go to school just to clear that one specific level that he couldn't do.

Now kuroo's a very patient and understanding person, but sometimes people have their limits and it's today. It's been days since kenma have completely shut him down and he's not even allowed to go to his house.

With kenma playing in his room, suddenly the door opened. Revealing his tall annoyed boyfriend but what made him even more annoyed is that kenma is with someone. Shoyo.

( so chibi-chan can spend time with you, while I can't?) kuroo thought standing there motionless.

" Hinata can you go downstairs for a second. Me and kenma here have something to talk about." Kuroo said with a smile. It looks genuine but kenma knows it doesn't.

"what do you wan-" before kenma could finish his sentence kuroo beat him to it.

"Why is he here?" His tone of voice is so soft that you would automatically think he's calm but his face contradicts it.

"and your point is?" Kenma just shook him off and decided to play his game.

" So that tangerine is allowed to be here, while for several days you pushed me aside" his voice started to grow more and more. He can't contain it anymore that he lunge himself on top of his boyfriend.

" Do you know how miserable i felt huh!? Kenma!" He put his hands on his neck, cutting down his airways. Making it hard to breathe for the smaller one. Kenma kept gasping for air as he tried to shake him off, but it's too late he can already see himself blocking out when a large pain met his left cheek that startled him awake. Kuroo have slapped him that causes his cheeks to puff out and got red.

"ugh stop!" Kenma tried to free himself. Kicking his boyfriend. They kept fighting for minutes until kuroo finally let him go.

He gasps for air, coughing his lungs out. As he went and tried to look at kuroo with teary eyes. Kuroo grabbed his hair. Kenma is already a crying mess.

" Me or that stupid tangerine." With every word he slowly and painfully tightens his grip on his hair. Making kenma yelp every time.

"ugh...ha.. i-im s-sorry kuroo." Kenma kept crying, this is the first time kuroo have treated him that way.

Hearing his apology made kuroo smile. So he tightens his grip even more and forces him to stand up. Kenma can feel his scalp bruising.

"fix yourself we're going downstairs, make sure he leaves." After getting ready kuroo held kenma's wrist tightly dragging him downstairs.

Arriving at the living there stood the three of them.

"I'll go home now, kageyama called." Shoyo said with his usual smile hiding his awkwardness after hearing his best friend literally getting hit by his boyfriend upstairs.

"Bye chibi-chan ~" Shoyo didn't look at kuroo at all instead he's too focused on his best friends neck that is now turning purple. He can't help but to get worried as his friend's face is also beat up.

" hmm bye." He waved as he got out of the house.

When it's finally just the two of them. Kuroo slowly yet creepily held the back of kenma's neck. Making the younger one shiver and whimper under his grip.

Kenma looks so exhausted with his beaten up face.

"Why don't we go upstairs?"

The punishment is only starting.

[the-whispers-of-death]

*chanting* angst angst angst angst angst !!!!!!!!! YEAHHHH !!! i love to see it,,

butcher's telling me he feels no shame at all, and in the end, he tells me hes close to tolerating stone now just for being ballsy, but like i wouldnt be surprised if he's also the reason dominic ends up getting fired too

sylvester's just looking at mārīte and laila like "just.. go to kali's for the night.. no, 2 days. okay? i dont want you two anywhere near the house for a little while. i'll let him know you two are on the way. we'll talk about this later... i dont like this either, but i have no answers."

he also just ends up calling a cab for dominic. sylvester doubts stone wants any workers/friends staying overnight (like how dominic usually would if the weather's shit or if he stayed too late)

so he just goes back to the kitchen, quietly finishes up making what would have been the family dinner, and just passes out on the couch. the lights are all still on but he doesnt care at that moment

i'd say he attempts to talk to stone trough the door, but he doubts there will be any answer, so he just sends in monster. maybe she'll at least be comforting to him :(

I feel like for two days, the door to the bedroom is locked until the third day and it opens when Sylvester tries the doorknob. And Stone's not there, he's left through the window and the only things in the bedroom is all of Sylvester's clothes and some of Stone's. There's an envelope on the bed that's filled with cash, Stone's keys to his jeep and the keys to the house and barn, and a folded letter.

The letter reads:

Dear Sylvester,

I'm sorry for leaving in the middle of the night, my beloved, but I can't stay here. I keep seeing my dead father when I try to sleep and I keep hearing the gunshot that killed him. And... I can't help but feel angry that you're friends with the man who killed my father.

I know I shouldn't be angry at you, but I am. My heart is full of anger and I don't know who to be angry with. So I left before I could lash out at you or the girls.

I don't know when I'll be back... If I'm ever back. I don't know, I don't know anything right now. All I know is that I need to go away. Don't try to find me.

I've managed to contact Heartthrob's old Corpsman, Bear, and he's agreed to take on the duties that I normally would do around the ranch and he's a damn good doctor if you all ever need one. There's an envelope with Dominic's full severance package, though if you decide to keep him on in spite of all that's happened, that's your choice.

Tell our daughters I love them and I'm sorry for not saying goodbye to them. I hope I find my way back home, but with all I'm feeling at the time of me writing this, I don't know if I will.

Butcher always did say you should ditch me and perhaps he was right about it. Perhaps I was wrong to think that I could live a normal, happy life with a loving family. I'm a stain in any family, it's been proven several times before.

I do love you, enough to let you go and find someone better if that's what you wish. You always deserved more than I could give you. Stay safe for me, please.

Forever yours,

Vikram Mishra

He wrote a long-ass letter. (I'm so sorry, the length of it all is funny to me.) Oh and look, Bear's finally incorporated in this AU. I wish Stone didn't leave, but that was all he was telling me. Didn't even tell me where he left.

But also, he left the keys to his jeep, so like how far could he have gotten?

Let's chalk up the lengthy letter that's lowkey all over the place and the lack of planning Stone did to him making a very impulsive decision.

[girlpocalypse]

Tragedy! Tragedy? Tragedy.

(CW: Disability, gender, sexual harassment, accidents, death, race, gun violence, seagulls)

“I'd make a pretty good beginning of a thriller right now,” I think to myself.

"Be careful so close to the edge," my partner says in response to my fluffy-haired selfies by the water.

I am considering how far to roll down the windows while I sit in my car to write something after an afternoon at the beach. (By write I really mean use speech-to-text. I have an autoimmune condition that causes pain and fatigue in joints and connective tissue as well Fibromyalgia which effects nerves and *also* causes pain, making typing difficult sometimes. Usually I will speak things out loud and go back and edit them a few sentences at a time.) I want to maximize airflow in my idle car by leaving as much space in the cracked-open windows as possible while still being narrow enough to keep a man's arm out. In my mind's eye I imagine a faceless stranger unlocking the doors, holding me at gunpoint, and demanding that I drive us away. Preventing this kind of situation is something I think about virtually every day.

I write most of my favorite things and take most of my favorite photos when my phone is running out of battery and I am in a race with time to get to a charger. Today I did both. Somehow, I made it to 25 without a whisper of ADHD until my self-diagnosis; a classic tale of the American public school system (capitalism) only serving those who it was designed to protect (white cis hetero men). I am a textbook case: a dysfunctional ADHD brain often saves its best ideas for when there's a deadline or something to avoid or a phone that's imminently going to die.

I realize what an wild tale, thriller, or headline I would make in this moment:

Local disabled, bi, Filipina, spoonie entrepreneur, singer, oversharing lady-Realtor Barbie found dead in the same body of water where she found a 26-year old man just a month prior.

I stop writing this because three men are congregating near my car.

One man is older, white, and likely transient. The other two are younger brown and Black men. I wonder if I'm going to need to drive away because their conversation is getting loud. They notice as I roll up my windows and check that the doors are locked. I reflect on whether my feelings of uneasiness are for the right reasons or if I need to check myself and my biases. I consider whether those two younger men are safe in present company and if I should stick around in case there's an incident perpetrated by the white man where my intervention or documentation is needed, or if CPD is called to "help." I decide to give it a beat and reassess. I check to see if I have any cash to give in case the first guy needs something to eat. I don't.

I look down to write a little more, and when I glance back maybe ten seconds later they have all moved down the sidewalk, away from me by the length of a couple storefronts. It becomes clear that they are just neighbors shooting the shit on a lovely Chicago day. That's why it was so loud among the three friends: their joy.

These men moved simply to let me know that I was safe. One of them meets my eyes in a way that says, "Hey fam, we see you." Another's eyes are a low-key apology: "Sorry if we scared the shit out of you!"

I feel safe. But I do keep my car windows up.

I reflect on the difference between the eyes of these men in my community who moved for my comfort, and how I remember the eyes of the fish fryer and butcher: Fellow Asians, two men in their late teens or early 20s whose eyes met mine in a way that made my body freeze and my heart race as I perused the flavors of Yan Yan at the end of the aisles. I was there with my mom at what she still called the Oriental store (it was like 2003 so we're letting it slide).

When I recounted to my Mom how these men chopping fish in the back had been ogling my ten-year-old body, she told me that the thing I should do is meet their eyes to let them know that I see them watching me and that I'm not afraid. "But what if I am?"

She clarified: "That's okay, all that matters is that they think you're not scared of them." She explained to me that this tactic could take away some of their power.

I have such gratitude for that lesson from my Mom. I think of her each time I meet the eyes of men who are taking up space that isn't theirs, when I feel their eyes on me in that way that makes my body freeze and my heart race. I look at men in public and hope they cannot tell that I am faking my bravery.

AOK was last heard from by her partner who observed her location on a map at the Lakeshore path between Foster and Hollywood beaches. Upon noticing her remaining 5% battery life Anna reported that she would check in when she reached her car and got to a charger. She was never heard from again, just like Noah Enos, whose body she had discovered in the north branch of the Chicago River at a Pride event on June 17th, one month prior.

Instead of Dead Anna, the story of my evening alone at the lake concludes with uneventfully sitting in the car for an hour writing this story, perhaps feeling some kind of hope for the crisis that is toxic masculinity and misogyny in America in 2023. It's much less interesting than the true-crime podcast version, but that's okay.

I will always carry Noah with me, I think. I haven't yet figured out how to grieve for a stranger whose life was lost so senselessly. We should all have the chance to live a long, full life. Young people should make it to their 30th birthday.

Please consider sharing your location with those who are invested in your safety. Travel with your phone charged and a spare battery. Make sure someone knows where you are supposed to be. Send your people "I love you," messages when you get home.

I am pleased to report that I didn't fall off the edge into the lake unbeknownst to my loved ones never to be heard from again! Instead, I got to experience all the mundane, beautiful moments of this day:

I got to see a trio of seagulls throw down over what looked like a beak full of Doritos from a tremendous distance. I watched in horror as one of the cheddar dusted delectables tumbled through the sky into Lake Michigan in slow motion, accompanied by the saddest, most guttural cry of deep loss from the bird with the face full of tortilla chips, fighting for its dinner.

I get to cackle to myself about such things that no one else notices, even if it outs me in public as the truly feral weirdo woman I am.

I get to send "I made it home," texts to the people I love.

I get to fall in love again and again, go on adventures, eat dessert, walk my dogs, take too many photos, and collect my little observations in my notes app about things that I am so struck by that I can't help but write about them. Amid mundane ugliness, I get to parse out the pretty parts. I get to marvel at how incredible the world can be just as it's falling apart. 

In a wild turn of events, this reporter was able to recover photos and poems from just moments before the phone, and Anna herself, died. They are decent.

I am happy I didn't die today.

Just as I shift to drive away, I get boxed in by a firetruck. There are raised voices and I hear an EMT say they're going to have to batter down a unit door in an adjacent midrise apartment building. I brace myself and wait for something awful, but luckily, there are no additional tragedies for me to bear witness to tonight.

I'm going to drive home now.

I'll text you when I get there.

I love you.

-AOK, 7/24/23

[digitalfairyyy]

Never Letting You Out Of My Sight

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Summary: Fighting for the butcher army has its pros and its cons

Warnings: angst with some fluff sprinkled in, mentions of blood, hinted past abuse, choking, flinching

Pronouns: genderneutral

Note: I might write another part to this but who knows

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Art by Jessica Oyhenart

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The stars twinkled in the sky while you stood at your chest, organizing your supplies, pictures of ham and bacon hanging on the walls reminding you of the task at hand; to kill Technoblade. To get revenge for what happened to L'Manberg. You were no more than a nurse for the butcher army, and sometimes a guard, that's currently what you were doing. You had been given the task to watch Phil while the others go find Techno.

Glancing over at where Phil was sitting on house arrest, you picked up a shiny red apple from the chest and made your way to Phil's house. With a quiet knock, Phil was at the door staring at you. You held out the apple to him while he stared at you as if you were insane.

"Take this as my apology to what the Butcher army did to your home, I know an apple isn't a great payment for all the damages but you seemed hungry so," Phil's wings folded back behind him as he reached for the apple in your palm. He thanked you for the apple as he took a bite out of it, "I've never seen Quackity like this, I knew he wanted Techno to pay but not like this."

Philza's eyes narrowed looking at you, "so why are you helping him? Quackity doesn't deserve anything, he's a psychopath. You can find a better friend than that, mate."

You stiffled a laugh with your sleeve making Philza cock his eyebrow at you, "oh sorry, just reminds me of something that an old... friend of mine used to say."

"You stopped yourself before you said friend, what's up with that mate?" Phil questioned, finishing the apple and tossing it behind him into the garbage.

"Just hurts to remember that's all," you didn't want to admit the truth, besides it had been so long, he probably forgot all about you at this point, "it's been so long, you think he even remembers me? It's been such a long time."

"Hey cheer up mate," Philza wrapped one of his wings around you, "here I'll make a deal with you. Help me out of here and save Techno and I'll help reunite you and this friend of yours."

Your eyes widened, nervousness hiding behind your eyes as you felt compelled to agree. Phil smiled at you looking around his chest before pulling out a creeper and a skeleton head, tossing you the skeleton head.

"How are you supposed to leave with those?" Philza looked down at his feet where you were pointing. The iron boots keeping him on house arrest keeping him in place.

"Thinking still about that," Philza looked back at the you, his eyes showing concentration but also worry, "at least Techno knows, I got one of my crows to send him a letter. It's gonna take them a while to get all the way to him, he has time to prepare himself." Phil smiled to himself staring at the creeper head, "we're gonna fucking tail them. I know where Techno lives, with or without a compass, I know."

"But the boots."

Phil let out a breath looking at you, "not like there's a tracker in them, they just can't know I left the house. We can hide in plain sight."

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It was about a few hours long of a journey making your way through the snow, the skeleton head proving to be quite the annoyance as you and Phil hid in the bushes staring at Techno's house where the group had formed. They seemed to be arguing with a ghost who kept switching from going inside and outside.

Than you saw him, Techno standing on his porch staring down at the butcher army and the ghost. He looked the same as he always did, a few new scars but nothing too noticeable. He still wore the robe you had made him, it brought a smile to your face seeing how regal he still looked wearing it.

The ghost seemed to notice you and Phil, waving over at you two while Phil tried to silently signal him to stop. Phil tapping on your shoulder to move to a less visible spot while you two easedropped on the conversation. The ghost continued to float over to you two, waving at Phil and giving him a piece of stake while Phil stayed silent.

Techno started to sprint in your direction as Quackity caught him explaining that he had to come with them.

"Techno isn't allowed in L'Manberg?" the ghost said with a quiet cry, apart of you felt bad for him, he seemed so confused and not able to understand the severity of the scene right now.

It was silent.

"I choose blood!" Techno yelled as he smashed potions onto the ground, making it difficult for you and Phil to see the action. All you could hear was Tubbo, Fundy, and Ranboo's screams while Quackity was trying to get a hold of the situation.

"Big Q do something! Big Q!!" Tubbo yelled, blocking Techno's axe with his shield being an inch from his face, "Big Q!"

"Stop!" Quackity yelled, he was riding what seemed to be a horse. You remembered that horse, it was the same horse that Techno used to go riding with you on. Carl you remembered his name was, the most important thing in the world to Techno was that horse.

Techno looked away from where he had Tubbo trapped, his eyes widening seeing Quackity holding Carl, "get away from that horse Quackity!"

"Drop everything, or I will kill this horse right in front of you," Quackity's eyes narrowed. Techno seemed conflicted before he dropped his axe, his armor, his robe, and his crown, allowing Fundy and Tubbo to restrain him.

Phil grabbed your arm pulling you with him, "come on, we have to get there before they do."

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Sitting in the seats like you were told to do when they returned, you waited for Technoblade's execution. The cage open for Techno's place and the anvil waiting to be dropped. Carl was tied to the fence by the dock while you watched Techno be shoved into the cage.

"When I hit that lever over there it is gonna drop and that anvil up there will kill you," Quackity explained while Techno looked up at the anvil hanging above him.

Tubbo made his way over to his stand where he would read Techno's rights before the execution. Tubbo fixed the mic to his height before speaking, "Technoblade has robbed our country of everything that made it special, everything that defined what it was. He stepped in when he shouldn't have. He created chaos, he ruined the government-"

Suddenly an enderpearl was thrown and Punz had appeared smashing potions on the ground before attacking. He dropped tnt on the ground that was quickly picked up before he started to attack the butcher army. You ran out of your spot towards Phil's house which had been boarded up once more.

"Technoblade," the ghost smiled looking up at the piglin hybrid, a blue sheep following him, "I've named him Friend."

"Hello Ghostbur," Techno said in his usual monotone voice, grabbing onto the bars of the cage, "that's fantastic Ghostbur, I'm about to die Ghostbur."

"Fuck it fuck it I'm pulling this lever," Quackity ran over to where the lever was, Techno understandable being confused as he tried to escape the cage. Phil pulling out his bow to try to stop them before Quackity pulled the lever.

It was like slow motion, your back was pressed against Phil's boarded up door as you watched the anvil fall. Techno staring up at the anvil that was coming closer and closer to crushing him. Ghostbur looking confused of the situation, not able to understand. Phil looking away not able to bare staring at his friend die.

But than he didn't...

Instead he jumped ontop of the anvil and out of the cage. Running over to Carl and jumping onto the horse's back riding away.

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You weren't sure what you were supposed to say. You were sitting in front of Quackity stitching up his face while he sat in silence, occasionally tensing up in pain from the needle piercing his skin. You sort of blamed yourself for what happened to Quackity even though it was Techno's pickaxe that did this.

It was a deep cut too, you knew his right eye would never work again from how it had glossed over into a pure white and Quackity had mentioned his vision going blurry in that eye. Once you were done stitching it up, Quackity looked up at you, "so when did you plan to tell me?"

"Tell you what?" you questioned standing up and putting your stuff away, sorting your potions. You really hoped Quackity wasn't hinting at what you think he was.

"About you and Technoblade..." Quackity's eyes narrowed at you when you froze, your fingers tapping on your table, "how you two used to be old buddy buddies? How you helped Philza escape? How you're only helping me because you think I'm gonna hurt Tubbo or Ranboo? Maybe how you fucking love Techno?!" By this point, Quackity had stood up and was right in front of you, you gulping seeing the anger showing in Quackity's eye. It reminded you how Schlatt used to treat you when you worked for him.

"Quackity I--"

"I bet you're so fucking happy to see me like this huh?" Quackity's hand flew its way to your throat, crushing your throat under his hand, "in fucking pain, only having one good eye left, huh? Was this all some kind of joke to you? Did I ever truly mean anything to you because I'm not so sure anymore. Maybe my friendship meant nothing? Bet your fucking terrified now."

You gasped for air, trying to push on Quackity's chest to get him to let go feeling yourself lose consiousness.

"I wish Schlatt fucking killed you in the van," Quackity let go of you pushing you down onto the ground, "get out of L'Manberg, I don't want to see your face in this town again or I will not hesitate to execute you and I won't fail this time at it either."

"But my stuff," you said once you regained air in your lungs.

"Not your stuff anymore, you're on your fucking own now," Quackity opened the door, "you have 10 minutes, I better not see your face again."

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With nowhere else to go, you decided to say hello to an old friend. You were absolutely freezing out here with absolutely nothing to defend yourself. You could only hope that he would want to see you or even remember you and all the times you two shared in the past. You felt like you were gonna turn into ice if you were outside for any longer as you knocked on the door.

But the door never opened and eventually you fell asleep, curled up on the porch by the door. You were slipping in and out of consiousness, you'd end up asleep for a few minutes than out again, falling asleep seemed to be the only thing that kept you warm.

Waking back up, you felt your vision be blurry and your head starting to spin. You couldn't even feel your limbs trying to hold onto your shaking cold body as you slowly felt yourself lose consiousness again.

In your frozen state, you felt a pair of arms pick you up, "it's okay I got you, come on come on, you're gonna be okay." You felt something heavy be wrapped around you and heard the door be opened, "come on, we need a fire. Y/N will freeze to death."

"We need to get them warm," you heard the ghost you had seen before say with the sound of a sheep being heard in response.

You felt yourself be dropped gently onto the ground in front of a fireplace, feeling the soft feel of wool curling up behind you along with the heavy robe.

"Will they be okay Techno?" Ghostbur asked the piglin hybrid who was staring down at you. Why had you come all the way out here? Especially at night and during a storm? That was practically a death sentence. He had no clue what would have happened and what he would have done if he was just a few minutes late, "Techno?"

"Go to bed Ghostbur," Techno said kneeling down onto the floor where you were in front of the fireplace curled up in Friend's wool.

"But ghosts don't sleep."

"Just give me some time alone, go play with Steve," Techno was trying to make up any kind of excuse he could to get a few minutes alone to himself to think. Ghostbur understood that he was not wanted right now and sadly nodded moving to outside where Steve was to give the bear company.

Techno looked down at you, his hand hesitantly going to your hair brushing the few strands you had in front of your face out of the way. He had missed you but knew that the separation was for your own safety but now he wasn't so sure being separated was the safest choice now.

Techno's eyes narrowed in curiosity looking at your neck, it'd almost seemed to be bruised as his eyebrows furrowed. He didn't want to assume anything so he decided to ask when you would wake as he smiles to himself, "I am not gonna lose you again."

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You woke up warm and feeling safe, a feeling you hadn't felt for a very long time. Your eyes fluttered open to seeing a blue sheep curled up against you and a polar bear on your other side, his head resting in your lap. The fire place in front of you was still burning brightly as you heard the sound of humming coming from the other room. You pulled yourself off the ground waking up the blue sheep who let out a baa following you.

You entered the other room where the humming was coming from and you were tackled in a hug by the ghost you had met. He smiled clinging to you.

"You're alive! You're alive! I don't even know you but you're alive!" Ghostbur laughed clinging onto you. You laughed hugging the ghost back. You looked over at the corner of the room over Ghostbur's shoulder noticing Techno sitting at a table, a book in his hands and glasses on the bridge of his nose, his tusks peaking out of his lips like usual.

"Morning," Techno said with his usual monotone voice marking the page in his book and take his glasses off. Ghostbur let go of you as you made your way over to the table sitting down, Techno's robe still over your shoulders, "you look very nice in my robe I must say."

"Thank you for saving my life," Techno nodded sliding a plate of potatoes over to you as you stiffled a laugh, "you still obsessed with potatoes huh?"

"Eh," Techno shrugged as Ghostbur skipped outside with Friend following him. Techno watched the door close, finally knowing Ghostbur was out of earshot he looked at you in all seriousness, "who put their hands on you."

You were caught off guard by Techno's question, looking at him, his eyes scanning your entire face trying to read your emotions, "no one, I just had a run in with some mobs, that's all."

"Oh so you're trying to tell me that a creeper grabbed you by the throat as such a rough grip to bruise? Come on Y/N, I've known you for how long and you think I'll fall for something like that?" it was obvious you couldn't just lie to Techno but at the same time, lying would cause less blood shed, "besides you wouldn't just run out of L'Manberg like that and almost have yourself killed if everything was fine, just spit it out."

"Why do you want to know so badly?"

"Because the person that I love just comes to my house out of nowhere after completely disappearing for a long time and almost dies at my door step and then I find bruises on their neck like someone had strangled them?!" Techno yelled catching you off guard. You had never seen Techno so mad at you before, sure you two had arguments in the past but this was different, he never raised his voice at you before.

Techno raised his hand to run his hand through his hair to calm himself down, however when you flinched seeing his hand go up, he froze. His hands dropping to his sides as he got up from the table and grabbed his axe before walking out the door.

You looked down at your hands, you didn't mean to flinch, it just happened, you didn't mean to scare him like that. You sighed dropping your face into your hands as you silently cried into your hands feeling Steve lay his head on your lap looking up at you.

"I gotta go boy," you scratched behind Steve's ear as you got off the chair, Steve following behind you as you went to the door, "no you have to stay here boy." Opening the door, you closed it before Steve could come out as you watched the bear jump up and look through the window of the door as you walked out.

The snow crunched under your feet as you started to walk away. You were meant to be alone. You thought coming back to Techno would make things better but all you did was make him think that you were scared of him.

You kept walking till you noticed less and less snow and noticed you were in a flower field. Your tears started to drop more as you looked at the flowers, it reminded you of the times you and Techno would spend in the flower fields together. You would sit in the grass picking flowers for different decor and dyes while Techno would tell stories of Greek mythology or his war stories. It didn't matter how many times you heard the same story, you loved to hear them everytime.

"Thought you might have wandered off to here," you vision snapped turning around to see Techno. He was just wearing his white button up, the first three button undone, his hair in a new braid. You remembered that you were the one that always braided his hair until you taught him to.

"Tech, I'm sorry-"

"Hush," Techno held up his hand moving over to you, his body towering over yours, "just tell me, please."

You looked down at the ground as Techno sighed, wrapping his arms around your waist as he pulled you into his chest. You clung to his body as you felt the tears starting to well in your eyes, "it was Quackity. He found out about us and then he attacked me after I helped him treat that scar you gave him."

You felt Techno tense, "I wish I could kill that duck. I can't believe he'd put his hands on you like that."

"It's not the first time," you sighed out, hiding your face in Techno's chest. Techno asked you what you meant as you bit your lip, "during the L'Manberg war for independence, Dream had grabbed me when the van exploded and held me hostage for a few weeks until I got saved after L'Manberg became independant. Than I ended up working for Schlatt for a while when Wilbur and Tommy were exiled, I guess they never told you. Schlatt treated both me, Niki, and Quackity awfully, he taxed Niki till she was bankrupt, he would yell and shame Quackity, and then he'd grab me. It was worse when he found out I had opened the gates for Wilbur to get in Manberg, he almost killed me in a drunk rage inside the van. Than well, you know Quackity."

Techno sighed, "Y/N look at me."

You shook your head hiding your face in Techno's chest until he grabbed your chin making you look up at him.

"I'm never letting you out of my sight again."

"I love you," you held onto Techno's hand as he smiled pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

"I love you too."

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Thank you for reading. Please show your support since it really helps me out :)

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