#I don't understand how social interaction gets to be so difficult for them but not so much for me. and that angers me
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
neverendingford · 1 year ago
Text
.
#contemplating the existence of loving yet uncommitted relationships. relationships of mutual convenience not romantic but still not platonic#tag talk#like. I want intimacy. I want to love and be loved. but the usual understanding of that is that you are committed. you are locked in.#taking a break from a relationship is code for “we're breaking up”. there's is no getting out without destroying the bond#I wonder if the classic Tom Cruise c love a woman but next movie she's dead“ trope could be seen as a version of that.#a socially acceptable way to love someone until you're done and then move on to the next thing.#a lot of my hookups have been a one time deal even though I would have liked to see them again. because they got too attached.#people see love and presume romance. people see openness and presume emotional connection and commitment.#if your friend is having a rough time and needs to disappear for a week. that's okay. but a partner suddenly can't.#there's less permissable distance in a romantic relationship.#why can't I do the classic spaghetti western thing? ride into town. help out and be appreciated for it. and then leave when I feel it's time#cue that magnificent seven quote that's like “cowboys are like the wind and farmers are like the land”. there are different ways to live#and social interaction is a numbers game. meeting people until you finally find someone you're compatible with.#and the more particular or non-standard you are. the more your success pool narrows. or at least that's how it feels#I know the reality is that there's more relationship diversity out there than it seems. because divergence is suppressed and hidden.#but that contributes to it being harder to find. more difficult to seek. more culturally shameful to pursue.#I don't think I've ever seen a fwb relationship in media that's not either played for laughs or turned into a romance eventually#the classic “men want fwbs and women want a committed relationship” ☠️ it's not a concept that gets taken seriously.#I just.. ugh. I feel like I'm pushing against the entire weight of my upbringing because what I innately desire is so far from acceptable#and I've unlearned so much self criticism and policing. but there's so much more to go and I just. ugh. it's so exhausting
3 notes · View notes
sfiltron · 1 year ago
Text
Not to be a hater, but I'm tired of watching so many posts (on Instagram, I have been using it a lot lately bc of friends and it is destroying my brain /neg) talking about "boyfriends" and "girlfriends" and "I'm great at flirting *gives a heart to an story and never talks*".
I had been living in a blissful world where having a partner was something that some people on the internet and my sister had, not an overwhelming constant of teenage worry that had people crying because. I'm so tired of friends thinking about it constantly, friends being desperate to "not be alone", hearing all these stories about friends' friends having terrible miscommunication with their partners.
I'm tired of hearing about something I kind of get the appeal but don't really understand, I'm tired of hearing my friends getting hurt by feelings I can't get and at the same time feeling like I can't help them. I want them to not feel these complex feelings about someone they don't really know, I want to see them happy, meeting people they don't get overly attached before knowing if those people are at least decent human beings, and I want everyone to stop playing this games of trying to meet others without "looking like a creep", and I want them to not be scared, and I want them to be strong enough to cut contact with people that does them wrong.
I don't know how to help them, because, by literal words, they are both getting weird chemicals in their brain that makes them not control for who they fall over, AND there is this weird societal expectation for when you want to get to someone that I can't BEGIN to understand, since NO ONE TALKS ABOUT IT, but it still looms over people's actions, it is an implicit vibe, and I don't know if it's people's anxiety derived from having a crush, or if it's something deeper, but it MADDENS me.
I'm just- My personal mental health is exponentially better this time where I have a good chunk of friends, and I have gotten socialization and all that shit, but it also feels like I'm still an outsider, like I'm looking through a window at all this people with their own struggles that I'm having trouble to comprehend because I don't have them, and I'm supposed to just accept it, accept that this is reality, and the only thing I can do is recommended better forms for them to communicate.
I need less romantic love in this world. I want people being friends, I just want good groups of friends, and everyone working on having better communicate.
2 notes · View notes
asstrolo · 7 months ago
Text
astrology observations for sad people
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
— the signs who I personally believe are really misunderstood by their peers are often capricorns and aquarius because of their saturnian tendencies where they become the mature, bigger person or are aloof of how they're presenting themselves, they always think they know better or people feel very intimidated by their personalities and, because people don't understand them, they alienate them,
— aries and scorpio as they are very intense, over confident people, other's might feel put-off by them, they can be very controlling and have a "I don't care" kind of personality that doesn't usually goes well with others, their ways of always trying to make themselves clear and understood causes the opposite effect, they are often misjudged as villainous or mean,
— geminis are also put in a place of having to know better, not given a chance or space to mess up as they are very intelligent people and show it, others might have big expectations which are often not met since they prefer to do what makes them happy and makes them curious, they tend to over-inflate themselves, or the opposite, and people take their words too seriously or not at all, very polarizing sign.
— a stellium in 4th can be super difficult to deal with, specially if it falls on not easy planets like mars, or saturn, uranus, or pluto. These people are always dragged back to their family issues no matter how much they try to escape, their parents maybe gave them too much responsibilities as little kids or vented to their child without thinking of the consequences, if these people ever decide to have a family they should always consider if they're doing it because they want to or because it is what's expected of them.
— chiron in social signs as gemini, aquarius and libra feel very alienated at all times, having social interactions is a learning experience for them, whether is good or bad, I also notice people usually get obsessed with them? They don't respect these people¡s space or it could be the other way around, to me is a placement where you'll learn to not be socially inept or teach people how to treat you right for some reason?
— saturn IS a complicated planet, it depends on the person's other planets and aspects how they deal with saturn, a person with moon conjuct saturn has a harder time dealing with their emotions than a capricorn moon. Even when the energies are similar, they don't have the same impact.
— now, a person with a capricornian stellium or dominant does deal with the saturn energy much comfortably than a person with sun trine saturn, because they were born with it. I personally believe you accommodate, or your aspects accommodate to you as you grow and evolve as a person.
— a pisces stellium, specially if is on moon or ascendants, is very perceptive to other's opinion on them, not in a superficial way but more on a "does this person thinks i'm being fair or mean?" Let's not forget the sister sign of Pisces is Virgo, so these signs also share the analytical or more neurotic way of seeing the world. A Pisces Rising is very self-aware of how they come off to people or how they are seen, they might not show it or say anything about it, a Pisces mercury might be self-conscious about how they approach others, how their voice sounds or how they come off when talking.
— I do believe leo's have a harder time being appreciated by people, as they devote to other's so easily they could neglect themselves in the process. Is the kind of person who is always looking out for someone to make happy or to make them feel comfortable because is something they want reciprocated. But this is a thing that can happen to fire signs a lot, they can be overbearing or too kind to people that it ends up backfiring on them, they have a very childlike mentally.
— is true what they say, a 12th house stellium in a natal chart makes the person passive and/or too in their own world, they have premonitions in dreams, but I've also seen these individuals have a really hard time with sleep, they have paranormal experiences a lot that some of them are used to it. They can be in some sort of medication, but not all, and not always these people are medicated or doing substances, they have an easier time to have out-of-body experiences, like lucid dreaming or sleep paralysis, these can occur because these people are super sensitive and get easily drained and stressed. Is important they are taking care of their energy at all times, I've met many that have one, two or more 12th house placement where I've found out some other person has been doing some sort of witchcraft on them, or have a big negative energy that this 12th houser sucks accidentally.
— having a mercurial dominant or rising can be super difficult when it comes to feeling, they tend to rationalize everything too much, are easily distracted and indulgent, they are very, very anxious at all times on all situations, even if they show otherwise. they overthink things too much, are the kind to be incredibly self-aware or completely out of touch with themselves.
— the ascendant aspecting negatively the mercury gives the individual speech impediment or a very shy personality, an almost inaudible voice or a raspy one, people with this placement have a harder time getting their thoughts across, or people might misinterpret them.
— keeping the conversation going, mercury negatively aspecting saturn makes a shy and reserved person, someone who, as a kid or a teen, has problems with being heard, or people simply didn't care or asked for this person's opinions, they might had been very codependent on an adult or somebody else to talk or to get to be seen, as they grow older they learn to communicate rather excellently, they might want to treat their shyness or whatever problem they have with unwanted attention or negligence
— neptune in personal houses like the 1st, 7th, 4th or 10th is really tricky. you might ignore gut feelings bout certain individuals, or on the contrary, believe someone is good when they aren't. these people can be their own worst enemies as they are super perceptive of how they come across to others, or how others make them feel.
— neptune in the 1st is common on actors and models and singers, usually on famous people, because they can create a fantasy of how they want people to see them, or act like chameleons around people, this creates a series of identity crisis during their lives.
— neptune in 7th is prone to feel things that really aren't there? they convince themselves somebody hates them or likes them for just one interaction, these individuals are like a sponge in social situations and they take everything somebody tells them to the heart. they also are known to lie a lot to people on behalf of good manners, they like to be liked.
— neptune in 4th house has a really confusing or unclear family situation, they might adopt the role of the parent when they shouldn't, or are treated as a child even as an adult, something in their family, in what they think is normal growing up, isn't. the most likely to stay in a bad situation for many, many years because they don't know any better, or think it's normal.
— neptune in 10th, although it deals with fame and impersonal relationships, to me, is just as fundamental as the houses listed above. they don't see themselves through their own eyes, or feel like they depend on other's perceptions on themselves too much, they are confident, or pretend it really well. these individuals know how to act the part, how to commit to the bit, they never feel that sense of belonging anywhere, because they might show different parts of their personalities to different people
— for me, the hardest moons to have are capricorn, scorpio and virgo.
— capricorn moon is a strictly analytical sign, they don't feel comfortable in the moon as is where the emotions and insecurities shine the most.
— scorpio moon is a very intense sign, as opposite to the Capricorn, they can be super emotional, or completely numb, very extremist and their emotions are black or white, polarizing.
— virgo moon is extremely difficult, they don't like to have to feel things, they like to think and act with precaution and it's hard for them to let their emotions slip, the kind of friend who'd have the most practical advice to all sort of topics, a helpful hand in all situations, but when it comes to them as individuals, they let themselves be too much, their head is always at a thousand percent. From what I've gathered of this moon is that, yes, they are neurotic when it comes to certain things, but completely careless to others, and it's usually to themselves, you won't ever see a Virgo moon misbehave or dress bad, but they can hold a lot of suppressed shame or anger or sadness, like they tie it with a bow in a box and keep it locked.
— lastly, no aspect or moon or sign is bad, they are just more difficult than others, there are people with easy aspects, like sun sextile or trine jupiter, they are prone to idealization and inferiority complexes. it's true that a person that has the harmonious aspects is lazier or gets unmotivated way easier. nothing is really set in stone, you can have a moon conjunct saturn and a cancer mercury in 9th house, your way of expressing yourself is more reserved, but optimistic and even childlike. when it comes to astrology, every single aspect and sign, and house counts to describe a person.
2K notes · View notes
scentedpeachlandcreator · 5 months ago
Text
Guide for manifesting weight loss:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
So an Anon asked me to make this and here it is, it will help others too.
As we all know that we often struggle with achieving our weight goal,doing workout,keeping a strict diet and eating healthy etc...
All of this was created by man, a man-made creation like Times, Machines, names, studies, science and many more.
And of course this was all coming from the imagination.
But i'm here to tell you that nothing is set in stone, your beliefs/assumption are the true fact.
Don't do things that you don't want to, just for you to loss weight ,because some non loa-believe people told you to.
Do whatever you want! Cause you make the rules and you control your own reality.
And you should be grateful that you discovered loa out of BILLIONS OF PEOPLE that are living miserably, believing that they should work hard to have what they want, following society rules.
Knowing your true power:
You need to understand that you are what we call God ,an Infinite being that could do anything without limitation.
You Can be whoever you want, get anything you want and more, even manifest the most illogical things, and this all because you're a consciousness that Can decide whoever version of themselves is gonna be.
But does God need to follow the rules? Does god need to do method? Does god need to do challenge? NO!! ABSOLUTELY NOT! YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOUR MIND TELLS YOU TO, HELL! EVEN YOU CAN CREATE YOUR OWN RULES AND METHOD.
YOU ➜ God (imagination) ➜ create your own rules and method and Can manifest anything you want into your reality.
You Can be a model, having that pretty face, being a billionaire, living in that penthouse, having a yacht, fancy car, being with your handsome/pretty SP, having that perfect body. Having superpowers, having a little fairy, having a Magic portal in your room and swimming in money and MANY MORE.
All of that with what? Without even Lifting a single little finger, everything you ever wanted already EXIST, there's many versions of yourself with your desires, and with just that pretty powerful mind of yours.
Understanding the Law:
The law of assumption indicate that whatever you assume to be true will Harden into fact with persistence.
Manifesting your desires into the physical reality just requires you to change your inner self so that the outer World will follow.
The 3d is a mirror ➜ changing your self (4d) ➜ persisting ➜ the 3d will reflect your 4d ➜ yay! You have your desires in the physical reality.
It is very simple and easy.
All of this just needs discipline and having faith in yourself and your true power as a god.
Now the important part of this post.
How to manifest weight loss while ignoring the 3d:
We do know that manifesting weight loss might seem difficult for the most of us.
While you're manifesting and there's the people that surround you Always ALWAYS complaining and pointing about your appearance, your weight and that might get you very pissed off and angry.
I am myself suffering from this, my parents Always pointing at my appearance,saying that i look fat (and that not true they are just exaggerating things, my Friends told me that i have a beautiful body but i hide it with over-sized clothes cause i'm insecure), and they force me to go workout when i don't want to (cause obviously i hate sport and socializing) and which caused a HUGE ARGUMENTS with them, and i Lost it (cause i have anger issues) but they didn't listen they told me it for my own good🙄 my ass, so i had no choice but to listen to them but i'm DONE FOLLOWING SOCIETY RULES AND BELIEFS.
So yeah i'm not listening to anybody but my personal beliefs cause i'm the only one who knows the truth, the cheat code to life.
you Can eat whatever you want and with the belief that you won't gain a single weight and it's will become a fact.
Your beliefs and assumption matters and don't listen to anybody.
Okay so now you might wonder how to manifest weight loss while interacting with the 3d every single day and it very simple:
➜ firstly choose what desired weight or body you want to manifest.
➜ secondly knows that you do already have it in imagination and creation is finished, you're already that version of yourself that is skinny or muscular.
➜ thirdly you need to keep persisting no matter what the 3d tells you cause that will make the subconscious really believes you're that desired version of yourself.
➜ and lastly dismiss the 3d, if the people surrounding you keep pointing at your appearance just ignore them and affirm in your head that you already have your desired weight or body and knows that the 3d will change.
You really need to throw Logic in the trash , Logic won't get you anywhere but imagination will.
"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." Albert Einstein.
"Logic will take you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere" Albert Einstein.
"You believe in God? Believe also in your imagination" Neville Goddard.
You want to have that perfect body? Yes you Can, you want to have that Chinese standard Body? Yes you Can! You want to be muscular and lean? Yeah you definitely Can.
Just pick and choose, fulfilling yourself in your imagination and accepting it as fact and the 3d will follow.
Seriously it is really simple, just don't overcomplicate it.
Just have faith and trust in yourself and you'll definitely do it.
I don't want anybody sending me Ask in my Inbox After this post.
Go apply and you'll definitely thank me for it. (Read this one)
I advice you to read these post they're really Amazing and it will surely make it click for you:
This, and this, this and this, this one, and this one, this, this, this, this,this one, and this, this last one.
And lastly you're the only one that Can change your reality, no one Can do it for you, you're already a master manifestor and void master and you're on the pedestal.
You were meant to change your life and live in happiness and wealth.
_ Xoxo, Eli
© Scentedpeachlandcreator
Tumblr media
879 notes · View notes
loosescrewslefty · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Screaming, crying and OBSESSING over the way Anya and Demetrius are on opposite sides of the Neurodivergent scale and also far more similar to one another than either one realizes. More than any other character we've seen so far, it feels like these two are Yin and Yang, opposite sides of the same coin.
Demetrius easily absorbs facts, figures, and other information that follows a set pattern. But people confuse and frustrate him, and he deals with that by not dealing with it. Anya has the ability to understand more about strangers she passes on the street than people who see them regularly ever could, but traditional academics can overwhelm her so she is resistant to studying. And yet both of them are othered and seen as abnormal by everyone around them, building a wall between them and their peers that they both find difficult to overcome.
Tumblr media
Anya tries to fit in through masking, pretending as hard as she can to be normal (with limited success) but Demetrius has given up after going so long without anyone helping him better understand others which leads to him disassociating in social situations as a self defense mechanism, to get in and out as quickly and painlessly as possible while telling himself it doesn't matter.
Except it does.
Tumblr media
Demetrius didn't need to ask about Damian's stella. But he did. Because he wants to find some sort of common ground with his brother even as he reassures himself that it doesn't matter and he doesn't care. He doesn't pick up on the fact that this makes Damian feel self conscious, that he's comparing his one stella to Demetrius' six and worried their father will love him less for not being as successful. Demetrius doesn't understand how the subject switched to Donovan at all, and shuts down hard when their father is mentioned. Just like he did when Damian called and asked him to be a bridge between them way back when.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
(Demetrius warning Damian not to get his hopes up about Donovan coming to meet him also conflicts with his internal dialog about how the people around him don't matter and he doesn't need to care about understanding them. If it actually doesn't matter to him, then he wouldn't care if Donovan blew Damian off.)
Circling back to the original thought though, I desperately hope that we're going to get Demetrius and Anya interacting directly with one another at some point in the future because I have a feeling that Anya's blunt, child-like nature will lead to her just directly telling Demetrius the things that are eluding him when he interacts with others, demystifying all the unspoken social cues he's supposed to yet cannot intuit for the first time in his life. And he is going to be in awe of this child for her ability to not only understand others, but translate for him when he cannot grasp whatever it is they are trying and failing to say to him.
Demetrius could appreciate Anya's abilities, rather than being afraid of or disturbed by them. And they could both understand the feeling of not fitting in with the crowd. Of knowing that others regard them with fear and contempt, or want to use the things that make them different for their own purposes and treat them like they are just a tool instead of a person. The potential is there for a very interesting platonic relationship between two kids who have spent their whole lives feeling like their differences alienated them from everyone else in their life, and in Anya's case a fear that the discovery of that difference would lead to her losing the love of everyone important to her in her life.
1K notes · View notes
mimi-cee-genshin · 2 years ago
Text
Friend-zoned? - Alhaitham x f!reader
Summary: How many Akademiya guys does it take to figure out whether or not you've friend-zoned Alhaitham? After discussing how strong he is, Kaveh, Cyno and Tighnari analyze his relationship with you. Things get interesting when you join their table.
Other info: fluff and humor :D, female reader, my extension of the conversation in Alhaitham's character demo because I loved the guys' interactions there so much
Words: 2.7k
*****
"Essentially, more time on contemplation, less time on execution," Alhaitham tells them. "Simple, isn't it?"
"... Not really," Tighnari and Cyno reply.
"Ugh, I knew I shouldn't have brought this up with you," Kaveh complains.
"I thought my answer was quite engrossing," Alhaitham says. He raises his hand. "Boss, this is good wine. I'll have the same please."
Kaveh swirls his cup. "Well, he has at least one weakness," he comments.
"Do tell," Cyno says.
"He's had the same crush for years," Kaveh tells them. "The guy's completely smitten."
"You can't be serious," says Cyno.
"Why is that so surprising?" Alhaitham says. "It makes less sense that I wouldn't be attracted to her."
"See what I mean?" says Kaveh. "You should see how he is around her. He practically treats her like a queen."
"I have a hard time believing that," Cyno says, crossing his arms.
"Stop exaggerating," Alhaitham tells Kaveh. "I just treat her the way she should be treated."
Kaveh only laughs at his answer.
"I thought you didn't like social interaction," says Cyno. "Or had any friends for that matter."
"It's not tiring to be around her," he says. "She's different."
"Of course she is," says Kaveh.
"Well this is interesting," says Tighnari. "What is she like?"
"We've known each other since we were kids. She was mature for her age. She did things like helping me resolve issues I had with others to keep the peace, making sure other kids didn't bother me while I was reading… Also, comforting me whenever I got discouraged…"
"You? Discouraged?" Kaveh scoffs.
"Yes? I'm only human you know," Alhaitham simply replies. "Anyway, you get the picture."
"That seems reasonable," says Tighnari.
"So it's one-sided?" Cyno asks. "As far as I can tell, you're still single."
"No," says Alhaitham, crossing his arms. "It's not one-sided."
"You're kidding me, right?" Kaveh says. "Are we even talking about the same person?"
Tighnari raises a brow.
"Every time she introduces him to another woman, she's a little too obvious with sharing why they'd be good for Alhaitham," Kaveh explains, "as if she's trying to sell them off to him."
"Don't be so dramatic," Alhaitham says. "She's not selling anyone."
"If that's the case, then why are you sure she likes you?" asks Cyno.
"Well for one, she comes by often to check how I'm doing."
"Perhaps she simply thinks you're incompetent at your job," Kaveh chides.
"Two," he continues, ignoring him. "She's always willing to hear about the latest book I'm reading, no matter how boring others think of it."
"Hmm…" Tighnari mumbles. "I can understand that."
"And three…" Alhaitham puts down his cup. "Whenever she reaches out for my hand, like when she wants to comfort me, she stops short of actually holding it."
"She does?" asks Kaveh.
"Interesting. So it seems that while she does display some sort of affection for you," says Tighnari, "perhaps she just didn't want you to get the wrong idea."
"So you're doubting my conclusion?"
"I'm simply saying it's difficult to judge based on the evidence you've provided. We may need to observe the two of you for ourselves."
Alhaitham sighs. This isn't going anywhere.
"Does she have any reason to not want to date you?" Cyno asks. "I wouldn't be surprised if you were overly critical of her, commenting on her every action."
"I give her nothing but compliments. She knows I think very highly of her."
"Huh," Tighnari says. "That's quite unexpected."
"I've been telling you guys," Kaveh says, "but he's really something else around her."
"Is she… actually older than you by any chance?" asks Tighnari.
"She is."
"Hmm… Well this changes things. Perhaps, she still sees you as a kid and is simply just doting on you."
Kaveh turns to Alhaitham, eagerly waiting for his reply.
Alhaitham clears his throat. "She's less than a couple of years older than me. It's not a big deal."
"Just admit that you're friend-zoned," says Kaveh. "Who'd treat their love interest like a kid?"
"I'm not so sure…" Cyno says.
Both Kaveh and Tighnari raise a brow.
"I think that Alhaitham has a clearer picture and can judge more accurately than any of us. They've known each other for long enough."
"It's just his wishful thinking on his part," says Kaveh. "Who wouldn't want to read into their crush's actions?"
"I agree to an extent," says Tighnari, "but perhaps we're missing some crucial information here. We don't know how well Alhaitham can judge a person's actions when romantic feelings are involved."
"I'm thinking quite clearly, thanks," Alhaitham says.
"This is why you aren't getting anywhere," Kaveh scolds him. "You're assuming she has feelings for you when she doesn't. You still need to win her over."
"Then what do you suggest I do?" Alhaitham crosses his arms.
"Ha. As if I'd help you. She could do way better than you anyway."
Alhaitham groans. Why is he even part of this conversation?
"Well, have you ever told her how you felt?" asks Cyno.
"Of course," replies Alhaitham. "I'm pretty obvious about it."
"For someone as reserved as you, I highly doubt that," Cyno adds.
"I wrote her a letter, eloquently expressing my love for her."
"Pfft. What?" Kaveh snorts.
Tighnari stares in disbelief. "Oh. I get it. You did that when you were children."
"I'm referring to the one I gave her yesterday."
"Pfft."
"That's… pretty obvious," Tighnari adds.
"I bet it was more of an essay than a love letter," Kaveh says with a smirk.
"Well, in that case, she either doesn't like you," says Tighnari, "or there's something that prevents her from admitting her feelings."
"Perhaps she's intimidated by your position," suggests Cyno.
"It's unlike her to care about those things," Alhaitham says. "She even treats me like a kid at times."
"So you do admit she just thinks of you as a kid," Kaveh says.
Alhaitham doesn't answer.
"Honestly, this case is closed," Kaveh continues. "There's nothing more to it."
"Hmm... Have you tried to make her jealous?" asks Cyno.
"You're still not convinced?" Kaveh is surprised at him.
"Knowing the result of that would likely draw us closer to a conclusion," Tighnari adds.
"Why would I purposely try to hurt her?" asks Alhaitham.
They exchange glances. Alhaitham still had the ability to make them go speechless with his matter-of-fact tone.
"Well, he's definitely serious about her," says Cyno.
"I told you," Kaveh says. "Seems like she's the only person he'd open up to as well."
"Of course she is," Alhaitham replies.
"I wonder…" says Tighnari. "Has she ever shared her own struggles with you?"
"Why would that be a factor?"
"Well, that would display how comfortable she is around you."
"Hmm… Not bad…" Alhaitham seems to agree with his line of reasoning.
He goes quiet and uncomfortably so because the other three exchange awkward glances at each other in the meantime.
"Well?" Cyno breaks the silence.
"You may be right," Alhaitham tells Tighnari with a sigh. "But that certainly raises more questions."
"Can we just start playing Genius Invokation TCG?" asks Kaveh. "We just keep going in circles with this topic."
"So you guys did just drag me out to play cards," says Alhaitham.
"It would be interesting to meet her," says Tighnari. "It's gotten me curious."
"Same here," says Cyno.
Kaveh looks up at the tavern entrance. "Huh? She's actually here."
Alhaitham's eyes flicker open for a brief moment. "Nice try. I'm not falling for that."
"I didn't expect to see you here, Alhaitham," you say, ruffling his hair.
He freezes and the three of them take a closer look at his face.
"I never expected him to have that kind of expression," whispers Tighnari.
"Me neither," Cyno agrees.
Alhaitham clears his throat. "They simply invited me here for some cards," he tells you. "Nothing more."
"Can I join?" you ask.
Without question, Alhaitham gets up from his chair. He holds the back of his seat and slides it out, gesturing for you to take it.
Cyno and Tighnari widen their eyes.
"Is it just me or did that feel kind of odd?" says Tighnari.
"Coming from him? You're not wrong there," adds Cyno.
You hesitate for a moment before you accept his kindness and take his seat. He stands next to you, waiting for the other guys to start preparing the game.
The two onlookers feel slightly uncomfortable for some reason while Kaveh tells them another round of 'I-told-you-so's. There isn't anything out of the ordinary as you all take your turns playing each other. Cyno is intense as usual, not just with his tactics but also with how he approaches the battle like an interrogation. Tighnari was calm and collected even under pressure, and Kaveh spoke his mind with every move, regardless of whether it's his or his opponent's. But having you there with Alhaitham is… strange.
Nothing really happens of significance. The two of you treat each other well and with respect. Just having Alhaitham being a complete gentleman around you is unnerving for the rest of them. Curt responses and sarcastic remarks are absent. He's completely agreeable with you and his usual temper isn't there either. Everyone plays the game in peace.
"You should save that card for later," Alhaitham tells you. "He can't do anything for the rest of the round anyway."
"Hmm… I'm not quite sure if that's what I want to do yet," you respond.
"Alright," he says. "You should do what you think is best."
"This guy…" Kaveh turns to you. "How do you get him to be like that? If it were any of us, he would've scolded us with a lengthy explanation about how we'd lose if we didn't follow his exact instructions."
"What? She can think for herself."
"And none of us can't?"
"I'm already familiar with how the three of you play and where you go wrong. I want to see if she does anything differently."
"It seems that he really does only compliment you, huh?" Tighnari tells you.
"Why would I do otherwise?" Alhaitham states.
His straightforward remark stuns them once again.
"Okay, we get it," says Kaveh. "We all know about your huge crush on her."
"Seems like you can't say anything bad about her even if you try," Cyno comments.
"Of course I can."
"You can?" you ask.
The whole table looks at you funny. You fiddle with the cards in your hand, pretending you weren't shocked for a split second.
"Interesting," says Cyno.
Alhaitham crosses his arms. "What is it?"
"I'm keeping my observations to myself for now."
Alhaitham raises a brow, but lets it go for the meantime.
A few rounds go by and you help set up for the next. When Alhaitham picks up a die for you from the floor, your hand brushes against his and the die falls off the table once more.
"What's wrong?" Alhaitham asks as he picks up the die again. "You're not usually this clumsy."
"I don't think there's anything wrong with me," you say.
He takes a closer look at you and you avoid his eyes. "Alright," he says. "You still ready to play?"
"I'll need to head out soon," Tighnari says. "It's my turn to be on patrol for tonight."
"Hold on," Cyno says, placing his cards on the table. "One last round. I'll be your opponent this time," he tells you.
You finish setting up the game and test your skills against Cyno. He certainly doesn't make it easy for you. You fall behind pretty quickly, but at least he's not as intimidating as when he played with some of the others.
"So," Cyno says, "what do you think of Alhaitham?"
Your eyes widen at his sudden question.
"You're straight up asking her?" says Kaveh.
"Why not?"
"I guess he has a point," says Tighnari.
They turn their attention to you to see what you'd say.
"Well…" you say, "he's very intelligent and talented."
"No, not what everyone else says," says Cyno. "What you think."
"What do you think you're doing?" asks Alhaitham. "Are you interrogating her right now?"
"Just let her answer the question."
"Well…" you say, "he's nice? And sweet?"
Cyno raises a brow.
"He's cute?"
"Pfft." Kaveh holds in his laughter.
Cyno ignores him and presses the question.
"I don't know how to respond," you tell him. "We've known each other for so long I can't just sum it up in a sentence."
"Alright. I'll get straight to the point," says Cyno. "What do you think of Alhaitham's feelings for you?"
"I think he should get to know other people… and try dating someone else?"
"See?" says Kaveh.
"I've already told you I'm not interested in anyone else," Alhaitham says.
"No, you should listen to her answer," Cyno tells him. "She's not lying."
"What?" Alhaitham widens his eyes.
"I'm not done yet," says Cyno. "There's more." He turns to you. "How serious do you think Alhaitham is about you?"
"He's definitely sincere."
"I'm pretty sure that was obvious," says Tighnari.
"But you don't take his feelings seriously," Cyno tells you.
"It's not that. It's just…"
"You don't?" asks Alhaitham.
"Alright. It's your turn from here," Cyno tells him.
"But I thought I was clear," Alhaitham tells you.
"You were."
"Apparently not clear enough."
"Look. You used to follow me around like a duckling whenever you weren't reading a book," you tell him. "How was I supposed to take your crush on me seriously?"
"It's been more than a decade since then."
"I... Okay, fair enough," you concede. "But it would disappear once you learned I didn't live up to your expectations."
"What expectations?" Alhaitham raises his brow.
"I don't know. That I'm this perfect woman that you've been pining for more than half your life. You'd know I'm not so great if you'd actually try liking someone else."
"Is that what you've been telling yourself?"
"You never say anything bad about me."
"Why would I want to talk about your flaws? Especially when I've been trying to win you over," he says. "Besides, aren't they obvious to you?"
"What?" You're genuinely surprised. "Like what?"
"Like how stupid you're being right now."
You freeze.
"Besides, I've been around you long enough," Alhaitham continues. "There's plenty I don't like. Like the way you cut me off at times–"
"What?"
"–or your atrocious style–"
"Okay, that one hurt a bit–"
"–or how stupid do you have to be to keep asking Kaveh for money –"
"Alright. I get it."
"–or that time you–"
"Okay! I get it! You like me!"
Kaveh looks at you as if you've grown another head. "How did you come to that conclusion? Are we even listening to the same conversation?"
"I think she's finally realized that his feelings were deeper than she initially thought," says Tighnari. "Especially since she knows that Alhaitham is still objective with her and not blinded with infatuation."
"That's right," Cyno says. "She's been the exception to his behavior for a long time. It makes sense she would think his judgment would be clouded with the information she had."
You hide your face from them. It's embarrassing how they read you like a book once your guard was down.
"I didn't expect the solution to be so simple," Alhaitham says.
He slips his hand into yours and you let out a little squeak. "You've also been wanting to hold my hand for some time haven't you?"
"Ugh. You're all smug now because you know that I return your feelings."
"I also don't like how you rearranged my bookcase."
"You can stop now."
"I think it's time for us to go," says Cyno.
"But we haven't finished our match yet," you tell him.
"I'll just forfeit this one."
"I'm with you on that," says Kaveh. "Anything before they start being gross with each other."
"I guess this is a good time for me to head out as well," says Tighnari.
The two of you are suddenly left alone at the table with a bunch of dice in front of you.
"Well, that's one way to win a match," Alhaitham tells you. "I'd say it's pretty ingenious actually."
You simply groan. You know what's coming.
"Do you want me to help you win every time?"
"Please don't."
*****
I hope you liked it. :)
This is one of those fics I wish had inline commenting like on Wattpad. I would've loved to see how everyone reacted at certain parts in real time but unfortunately Tumblr doesn't have that.
Anyway, you can find links to my masterlist and taglist on my pinned post if you want to check out more of my writing.
7K notes · View notes
seekingflowers · 9 months ago
Text
Future Husband Pick a Card (1-3)
I'm sure you all know how it works! Just relax and let your intuition guide you to choose your pile 🌕. Take what resonates and leave the rest. I am very honest and will not sugar coat what I see. Please don't hesitate to tell me what resonated with you! I welcome all to interact 🤝
Hello everyone! Welcome to my tarot blog. This is my first post ever, and a pick a card reading (1, 2, 3- cards) 🥰😍🥀
Pile 1:
Page of Wands
Tumblr media
- First and foremost, it COULD indicate he's younger- if not, he may seem younger with his demeanor. More than likely, he may have approached you first. He'll be the first you one hear when you walk into a room.
In the beginning stages, this person will feel like a breath of fresh air. They are lively and outgoing. Always inviting you to join them on outings with friends or see and experience new places.
They are very social and ready to be on the go-go go. If you're not, it doesn't matter. They'll go because they're ready. Decisive and quick. However, it may not always be thought out. This person tends to be optimistic and may seem naive, but do not berate them. Sharp and witty, they stand their ground. They do not like to be held back and smothered. They seek fun and spontaneity, keep them on their toes. At times, you may feel like this man flakes out on you because he is so quick to do other things or entertain himself with others. He may forget things easily, such as planned dates or activities, anniversaries, or make sudden changes.
Their curiosity and openess will show you how to appreciate the moment and accept changes. It's okay to experience new things. If something is wrong, they will confront you, and they will expect the same from you. Be open and honest, and communicate with patience. They're not afraid to voice their opinion and say it how they see it. Friends and family love and adore their presence, which brings warmth and laughs all around.
Please remember, we all change with time, and some things may remain, but nothing lasts forever. Take what resonates and leave the rest.
Pile 2:
King of Wands Reversed.
Tumblr media
- He's definitely the one to approach you. Could be someone older or someone in an authority position.
This man may appear aggressive, often displaying signs of frustration or impatience. Can be very controlling and dominant overall. He has natural charisma and a fiery intellect, making it difficult to get a word in with him. Stubborn and hot-headed, he will likely dislike opposing views or opinions. People's views of him are black and white. Few understand him. There could be a problem with respecting those above him or taking consideration from others in general. There are few to maybe none that he cares for, but if he does care, he is fiercely protective over them and will come to their side to defend them. Even blindly.
About action, he's the one to get it done and have a go get it now attitude. Either do it or don't. Prone to impulsiveness and hypocrisy, his actions may bring upon consequences he isn't ready to handle and will break down in a tantrum.
Not afraid to approach others, he is relentless with his pursuits. On the good days, his humor and smiles are a sight to see and hear. Captivating and charming, people are drawn to him or are intimidated by him. His humor isn't everyone's cup of tea. It may be crude.
Highly competitive, spats between him and others are frequent. He hates losing and hates being wrong.
To be with this man, thick skin is needed along with groundedness. With you, he can be very loving, but ill tempered and stubborn.
He's very likely a traditional man who wants a traditional wife and family with him as head of the household. Although earlier in life, he may have had a desire of the opposite for the short term.
Please note that the future is not set in stone. Take what resonates and leave the rest.
Pile 3:
Ace of Cups
Tumblr media
- This man off the bat is an emotionally intuitive man. More likely to be reserved with his words, but expressive with his love and affections. Expressive eyes with intent prying into your soul. He enjoys private moments with you and goes out of his way to get you alone. It may seem unintentional, but it's not. It may be a love at first sight, or rather, when they fall in love- they fall hard.
There could be this feeling of a deep connection between the two of you that feels familiar yet so foreign. However, do not drown with the feeling. Learn to swim with it, or it will create false imaginations of the other person. You open up this person's inner world, and they want to pour into your cup endlessly. Sometimes, feelings can become intense, and a struggle to sort through emotions with each other can be difficult. Therefore, there can be spurts of emotional outbursts. Clear communication is very important with this man.
Being one to love deeply, he can hold a grudge and keep score of what wrong he thinks you've done to him. He might think he loves you more than you love him. This man wants you to be open with your love and reciprocate his feelings with the same intensity. When you are in an emotional frenzy from work or a bad day, he's the one to comfort and feel you. He'd go out of his way to make you feel better. If he can't, he will beat himself up for it. People close to him are few, even if it seems like there is a whole crowd around him. He's the go-to therapist or listener for folks, and it may get to him from time to time, so please allow him some space when needed.
Some days, he may seem hot and cold, but that's just likely because he isn't feeling anything that particular day or hour. Or he is in his head thinking about anything. As all humans do.
Love each other truly and not just love itself. It is easy to get lost in love and forget the person. Take what resonates and leave the rest.
Please remember, take what resonates, and leave the rest. One card does not describe everything about a person, and it is not the end all be all. Nothing is set in stone. People change - we all change.
Once again, please let me know what resonates and tell me what'd you like to see from me. 💫
Tumblr media
415 notes · View notes
eddis-not-eeddis · 3 months ago
Text
How To Stop Killing Conversations
Talking is hard. People are confusing. Making friends is difficult, and interacting with coworkers is tortuous.
You want to make friends, you want to reach out, but it's hard and every time you start a conversation it dies, or limps along until both you and the person you're talking to are looking for excuses to kill it and put it out of it's misery so you can both escape the increasingly awkward situation.
As an introvert who has suffered a lot of social anxiety in my time, let me share a few tricks I've learned over the years going through hundreds and thousands of excruciatingly painful conversations until I found something that works. I've kind of distilled the process.
ALWAYS ASK A QUESTION!!!
The first thing is to always leave your partner an opening. You need to let each other talk for a conversation to get off the ground, but it's more than that, really. You need to actively encourage each other to talk. The best way to do that is to ask questions.
Here are two examples of an introduction: Example A
You: Hello.
Them: Hello.
You: Nice to meet you.
Them: Nice to meet you too.
Example B
Y: Hello, nice to meet you, how are you? T: I’m doing well, yourself?
Y: I've been really well. How are you liking the weather?
T: I'm so happy the weather's finally getting cooler, I'm looking forward to pumpkin spice season. Do you like lattes?
Do you see how in Example A the conversation wasn’t going anywhere? It just kinda died, because there weren’t any openings for new topics, whereas in Example B, there were openings to keep the conversation going.
But what do you do if your conversation partner is as socially inept as you were two minutes ago and doesn't play along? All is not lost.
Example C
Y: Hello, so nice to meet you, how have you been doing?
T: I'm doing well.
Y: That's great, are you enjoying the nice weather, then?
T: Yeah. I'm glad it's finally fall, I'm looking forward to pumpkin spice lattes.
Y: I love pumpkin spice lattes! Pumpkin spice anything, really. I recently got the best pumpkin spice candle at the shop down the road, have you been there?
Even if they don't leave you an opening, you can usually make one. It may be difficult, especially when they don't give you much to work with. This is where having a go-to script is a life-saver--me, I always default to talking about the weather, so when in doubt, you can do that.* The important thing right now is to keep fostering the conversation, so once you bring up the weather, segue into a question. When they answer the question, make a brief comment or observation from your own experience and build off of that comment or observation to ask another question.
"But I don't want to make it about me. Doing that's bad, right?"
This is why that questions are important. If you haven't been asked a question, you kinda have to make it about you, you don't have a choice. But to keep from being an attention hog, follow up your shared experience or anecdote with another question.
Example D
T: I love pumpkin spice lattes
Y: Me too. I had the best pumpkin spice latte the other day at the cafe down the road, have you ever been there?
Now you've circled the conversation back around to them again, and you aren't taking the limelight. Sharing an experience is so important, you're trying to show that you understand, that you sympathize, that you relate.**
This really is the most important element of being a good conversationalist. You have to keep asking questions.
The one other thing I will touch on is introductions. DO NOT get into turn based combat.
Example E
Y: Hello
T: Hello
Y: Nice to meet you
T: Nice to meet you too.
Y: How are you doing?
T: I'm fine. You?
Y: Me too.
This will kill any possibility of continuing a conversation. Instead, get it all out of the way all at once, if at all possible.
Example F
Y: Hi, it's nice to meet you, how are you doing?
This is good, but this is better
Example G
Y: Hi, nice to meet you, how are you liking the weather?
Don't ask how they are doing, or if you do, before they can answer, follow it up with your placeholder (weather etc.) so they have to say some thing like
Example H
T: I'm fine, and I'm really liking the weather.
or
T: Not so great, the weather sucks.
Either of those options are much easier to work with than your basic "I'm fine."
Usually, if you can get past the introduction, you can get a conversation going. And then, even if you don't end up hitting it off with the person you're talking with, you at least don't leave the conversation feeling like you've died a thousand tiny deaths.
In fact, if you get past that introduction, you may have just made yourself a friend.
Remember folks, basically everyone around you is more afraid of you than you are of them, and in this benighted age no one has been taught conversation skills, so we are all pretty much in the same boat. (Unless you were born an extrovert, in which case we are all deeply envious and would probably kill you if we didn't need you in our sad and lonely lives so much.)
Have grace for one another, and for yourselves because talking with people is difficult.
Go forth, and stop killing conversations.
*If you are one of those awful people who likes to brag about how you hate small talk and only want to talk about important and meaningful things, I have one question: Do you ever have a conversation that lasts long enough to become meaningful? I thought not. Small talk is an important skill. Develop it.
**This is how you deal with sad or difficult situations too. When you want to show you sympathize with someone going through a hard time.
Example:
Y: How are you doing?
T: Not very well. My dog died last week.
Y: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. My own dog died last year and I still miss her a lot. How are you handling it?
Now you've circled the conversation back around to them again. You aren't making it about you.
If y'all want, next time I can share how to extricate yourself from a conversation.
159 notes · View notes
rememberingliampayne · 12 days ago
Text
Dear Liam,
Sometimes I try to live in denial, pretending you're still here. As a fan I find it's difficult to fully comprehend the idea of death, especially since I've never met you in real life. I have spent most of my life emerged into being a fan of you, from one direction days to supporting your soloist ventures. I have constantly kept up with your content from listening to your music, having pictures of you up on my wall for years (and consistently still to this date), or watching your social media presence. You are someone I one sidedly interact with daily, yet you're no longer here. It is so difficult to understand that you are no longer here because I don't see you in real life, so it had been difficult for me to NOT live in denial over the fact that you left us. But I'm truly devastated that it has really happened, and I will never see your new content. How is it possible that I won't be listening to new music, or opening a new tik tok or snapchat story ever again.
The few times that it does hit me for real, I think it would be easier to just pretend it's not real. I go about watching old edits or interviews just like how I would always watch old one direction content. I mentally tell myself that it's just a hiatus, and I like to think that you're taking a quick break lol. This makes it easier to cope with the unexpected loss of you, my literal idol.
As only a fan, and not a family member or loved one, I cannot even imagine what those closest to you are going through right now. I think about and regularly pray for your whole family, and Bear, and everyone who knew you personally, as they grieve through this. I hope everyone you knew is doing okay, and I know you're probably watching over them right now :)
Liam, I appreciate everything you've ever done for me, getting me through some of my roughest times, as you probably have done for many other fans, and being such a ray of 'sunshine' in everyone's lives. You were always such a kind heart from what I've watched of your content, constantly donating to those in need. Did you know that the choose love x liam payne shirt has been purchased SO many times since you passed? You've done so much other good work which just goes to prove how kind of a soul you are.
Rest in paradise Liam, we are all going to miss you so much. Even though you didn't know many of us, we will always miss you and appreciate everything that you are.
84 notes · View notes
talkbycolor · 7 months ago
Text
john doe game headcanons . . . ↷
A/N; THIS IS, FINALLY AND IM SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG, basically how your family or Doe would react at getting to know each other, thanks @hytorok for asking
Pairing; "John Doe" x GN!Reader
CW; i guess its fluff omg
Tumblr media
john doe meeting your family.
To no one's surprise, the first interaction would be horrible, imagine introducing your boyfriend to your family and said boyfriend is a dirty ball of fur.
John Doe tries, he really does, he wants to be a part of your life forever and at first he may not understand what that means regarding your other family relationships, but one explanation later and he'll be trying to make himself look as good as possible. as normal as possible, not because he wants your parents to like him, he just doesn't want anyone to oppose his relationship.
He's definitely going to screw up at some point but hey, it's the thought that counts.
First, speaking of your parents, assuming that MC has a mother and father in contact, REGARDLESS OF WHAT THEY ARE OR HOW TOLERANT THEY APPEAR, they simply don't know how to react, even if Doe changes his appearance to a more "appropriate" one they can perceive that something is out of the ordinary so they would be quite cautious about what they have to say in front of you or Doe.
In case MC has siblings, surely they would do everything possible to humiliate you in front of Doe, but oh surprise, Doe likes weirdos so it won't work.
As time goes by and if they see you happy and healthy with Doe, the waters would surely calm down. AND EVERYTHING WOULD GO TO SHIT WHEN DOE HAS HIS "NORMAL" APPEARANCE AGAIN, whether it's the hairball or the 4-fingered thing.
Things would be incredibly difficult, if it went to extremes you would have to defend your partner from your own family (And convince Doe that this problem has a solution before he tries to kill someone).
He would need a lot of affirmation and encouragement during that time, it's not that he cares about anyone else's opinion, he's just terrified that you prefer your family over him.
"There's no way you guys actually have sex, is there?" your uncle asks.
Your other family members have many opinions on the matter, perhaps most of them not so acceptable and would want their children away from Doe, but they all keep their words to themselves when they see you happy.
Moving on from the initial prejudices you would finally be allowed to take Doe to family events, your aunts would tell him to invite you to the dance floor even.
If you have nephews or little siblings, they would like to spend time with Doe, mainly because they share a certain naivety in their mentality and the little ones are curious about the strange appearance of your partner, although you would have to be careful that they do not pull too hard on Doe's hair.
Even though Doe went into it with the mentality of wanting to be accepted so you wouldn't abandon him, he could genuinely enjoy feeling welcome and part of a family. He's not willing to lose that. Never. (congrats now you reached another level on his yandereism)
After the initial discomfort, your family would ask many questions, not only to you but also to Doe, although he would probably prefer that you answer it (social anxiety).
"When is the wedding?" your aunt asks.
You just love your boyfriend, don't you?
He's still a weirdo but as long as he makes you happy (and doesn't kill anyone) everything's perfect, right? (your family demanded that Doe not bring rats to parties or eat teeth in front of the children).
150 notes · View notes
fluff-n-cookies · 7 months ago
Note
Hello :)
Could you please do and platonic Aizawa x daughter reader?
His daughter is in her teen years so she is being like really rebel and all that so they fought a lot, but one day she just breaksdown during one fight and starts crying and apologizing for being a shitty daughter?
I have been avoiding this for so long, and it's all because I have no idea how aizawa would handle something like this. because it goes against everything that Aizawa would try and teach his kid so this may be a little forcefully written, apologies.
Tumblr media
TW : unhealthy parenting, mental illness, some suicidal thoughts, probably angsty shit, I dunno, read at your own risk.
We can start this by walking through how this may start in the first place. I think the best place to start is that reader's mom left her and Aizawa when she was very young, and Aizawa, assuming here he didn't understand how to properly tell her why her mother left her, never tells her why.
Now reader is very young so she might blame one of two things.
herself
her father
While both instances would technically work, I think the more favorable option is she blames herself since a young child would probably never blame an adult they look up to and hold dear as the problem.
Up to this point her father has been really kind to her so the only other variable is her, this spirals into social anxiety, low self esteem, and depression. all of which don't help when you have an absent mother and a neglectful father who is both a teacher and a full time hero, which leaves little to no room for children.
(this is also why I think it isn't realistic for Aizawa to keep Eri or a child without another non-hero caretaker. Fight me, I dare you.)
As time goes on, and this child becomes a teenager, she might not know how to properly express her feeling and after being misguided by factors like the internet, other adults, and "friends" she might take out the feeling of being abandoned on her closest caretaker and another source of her problems; Aizawa.
if you purposely yell at him or start arguments it's not going to be very fun because Aizawa has this complex where if his students or other heros represent incompetence or arrogance he expels them or ignores him rather than explaining it to them and helping them improve, this is especially with students.
and since he lacks a true connection with you as his daughter mainly because of his job(s) and past with Oboro which he is still trying to heal from keeping him from bonding with you, he'll treat you as a student like the rest of the teenagers he knows. and even then, you may actually be treated worse than his students because while he interacts with them daily, he interacts with maybe 1 hour every other day.
so from all that he simply ignores you, just stops interacting with you entirely, he's too tired for your bullshit. this action makes the wedge between you two even worse.
if you keep persisting though he will yell back but it's often really short and really loud. something like "SHUT UP" a cold "I don't care." before slamming the door in your face. He knows it's probably not right to do that to your daughter but let's face it. you're just this annoying teenager he legally has to live with if he doesn't want to lose his hero and teaching license.
this is where things actually get very interesting, because let's assume he stops approaching you entirely, you just live in the same house nothing more than that, and while you may act like you hate your father for ruining your family and neglecting you all your life on the outside, remember, you're still that little kid in second grade that blames yourself for your mother leaving and your father not caring for you.
so let's say you realize this and go back to blaming yourself for everything like you did when you where a kid but since your father stopped talking to you entirely explaining your faults to him maybe difficult.
this where my personal experiences come in, I've actually had this happen to me in my own life, and I truely hope that you'll enjoy it. thank you.
---------
why is it that the voices are the loudest in the dead of night?
the moon is gone, the birds are silent, there isn't a single light that shines on your tear streaked face, puffly, swollen, sad, just sad.
years of confusion, neglect, a lack of love in it's purest form.
all because of you.
it's all because of you.
it's sings so prettily, like it's a church choir spreading the word of the lord like it's common knowledge.
it's common knowledge that you are a terrible person!
it cackles.
the urge to strangle yourself to finally feel some relief has never been stronger.
lie awake in the dead of night, in pitch darkness, a proper scenery to match ones broken and cracked soul, be careful, you might hurt yourself, again.
however, one cannot weep in their wallows forever.
the night has to make way for the morning sun.
and a relaxed self pity has to make way to dread.
dread.
dread of him, he who you blame for everything, everything you know is your fault.
it's all your fault.
a click at the door,
the creak of the old wood and the hinges never oiled.
mild thumping footsteps that wander around the apartment that can barely hold your overflowing buckets of tears.
you can mumble out all your pleas.
pleas that this is all a terrible nightmare and your real life is actually one with a kind and loving mother and a supportive and encouraging father.
mumble out the little lies that you made up all these years to make yourself feel worse and other better.
"it's pointless to keep trying."
"I wish I wasn't here."
"why can't I just be happy?"
"it's all my fault,
it's all my fault,
it's all my fault."
the thin walls don't do those in mourning justice though.
for the wind is calm, the branches don't dare to move, the owls, the bats, the sleeping heros in training downstairs don't make a peep.
for the only ones alive, awake, aware, is a man beaten down and broken by society serving as it's protector, ignoring the one in most need of protection all this time. With him is a girl. a girl that's scared, scared of her mirror image that haunts her, a girl who's cried an ocean, screamed a thousand wails of pain, a girl lost in her own heart,
"No wonder no one loves you."
you lie again.
but keen ears trained from years of work with villains hears you, for the first time, he hears you.
not the rebellious teen he's seen yell out strings of pure hatred and fiery insults like he's her own worst enemy.
it's the girl who he saw waiting on the steps to their apartment all those years ago. waiting for her mama to come back home with the promise of cupcakes.
it's the girl who never smiled for the remainder of elementary school.
it's the girl who's heart withered way that autumn evening.
he heard the softest little voice in the dead of night. he heard his daughter cry
"No wonder no one loves you."
.
.
.
"But I love you."
for that whole night, for that whole night.
the peace was disturbed.
for that whole night, it seemed that the moon shone once again.
it may not be the sun. but it'll do for now.
Aizawa walked away shortly after that.
leaving a little girls and her mirror image to ponder.
ponder.
---------
Afterwards I don't think he'd talk about it too much, he's proabably approach you after breakfast the next morning and tell you "you can talk to him about it if you want." but not much more than that
he definitely would change his practices though. like getting you a therapist, taking the weekends off in favor of being around the house more.
he'll let you get used to his presence first like one would with a cat, and one day. maybe years later, or tomorrow, you'll talk to him.
you'll tell him you love him too.
and maybe.
just maybe.
the world will stop,
and everything will be okay.
286 notes · View notes
cynarisgayass · 6 months ago
Note
helloo! I have a req for the to scream or be silent. (I'm really sorry if u are already full of requests)
could you do Xiao and Scara/Wanderer (up to u!)?
I think it would be quite interesting to see what they'd do in this scenario
Thank you sm!
𓍊𓋼~To scream or be silent PT 3~𓋼𓍊
Tumblr media
Type: Headcannons
Description: HELLOOO!! Dw, you're currently my only request so I'm happy to have you! Hope you don't mind I added Venti and I hope you like dis~ So for anyone who doesn't know, this is a series where genshin characters react to a reader who will go completely mute or talk 3,000 miles a minute. Mostly a comfort type of fic!
Part 1, Part 2
Rating: Comforting fluff
Reader: GN, Slight autism/adhd vibes
Includes: Wanderer/ Xiao/ and Venti
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Wanderer:
To scream:
He can get a little overwhelmed when you're in a hyper state, maybe even a little annoyed, but he's trying his best to be better about it. It's not that you are actually what's bugging him, he's just not used to so much talking, he doesn't know how to react when you want to tell him every detail about a book you just read or a show you just finished. To him this is whole new territory that he's not really comforting with yet.
However, when he does find a way to sit and listen to you patiently and you give him that smile of finally being heard...he finds it very very cute. He'd never say it aloud though...
To be silent:
He's the king of the silent game, the second you no longer want to talk, he no longer wants to either. He may look grumpy while he sits across from you or lays in bed staring aimlessly at the ceiling, but this is the time you both use to unwind. He loves those moments with you because it calms him, calms both of you and it's easy. If you're hyper fixating, he's not far away, destressing about social interactions and classes at the academia. If you need a break from speaking cause you just can't anymore, he's feeling the same...and ever so often he lets you closer to him to cuddle, but it's so sappy to him that it only ever rarely happens. When it does though, it's very enjoyable.
Tumblr media
Xiao:
To scream:
He's always happy to hear your voice, to hear that excited fast tone you get when you're talking about something you're currently obsessed with. For so long he'd gone without much conversation that now he craves it from you, to the point that he'd sit on the roof with you all night while you went on and on about everything. Till you eventually fall asleep on him that is, then he'd carry you to bed and hope you'd find him the next day to do it all over again.
To be silent:
He understands everyone needs a break from socialising sometimes, but he struggles with how big of a break you want. It's difficult for him when you're hyperfixated and he wants to know wether or not you want him nearby, he can't exactly ask because he doesn't want to disturb you. When you go mute just so you don't have to talk, he finds himself feeling awkward cause he's not sure if you want to be alone or not.
More often then not he's very gentle with his voice and movements, tiptoeing around you because he knows better then anyone that alone time is alone time. If you do initiate a cuddle when you're in a silent phase, he will gladly accept and pet your head to comfort you.
Tumblr media
As a god he's met all different types of people and has came up with many a ways to make them feel cared for. You are no exception. The second you start telling him about about a song you've just heard that you're in love with, he will learn it just for you. Say you are obsessing over a new item you've just bought, he wants to know all about it. He gets just as happy as you, if not happier because he loves how bright your smile is.
Venti:
To scream:
To be silent:
Just as before, when someone's silent around him, he understands completely. He will get out his quietest instruments and provide gentle background music, improving on his lyrics or coming up with new tunes to play later, all while you're hyperfixated on something or another. He will sing you songs when you don't want to talk so you won't ever feel awkward about lack of noise. And when you truly want pure silence, he sits by you and holds your hand, letting the quiet settle in.
Tumblr media
Felt a little extra sappy with this one hehe. Also 20 followers now!! Woohoo!!
113 notes · View notes
astrojulia · 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Asteroid Fan (151590): Understanding Its Signs, Houses, and Planetary Aspects
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ About the Asteroid: Finding out about the astronomical part of this asteroid was not easy and to be honest, I can't say if the information is correct. What I can say is that it was discovered between 2004/2006 and that it was named after the late Chinese astronomer and physicist, Dr. Fan Zhaohui. doctor Fan was an expert in celestial mechanics and made significant contributions to the study of the orbits of asteroids and comets. He also played a crucial role in the development of China's space program.
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Sources and inspirations: As it was already difficult to find astronomical information, it was more difficult to find astrological information, so much that you can see the heavy inspiration in this post here, which was the most complete that I found on the subject. However as the blog is deactivated and if you are a tumblr browser user like me you will have a hard time seeing the whole post. That's why there are parts that are references to the post as well as parts that are my own interpretation. Also, the image template in from minikyuns on deviantart.
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Asteroid Fan Rx: Your fans are more withdrawn and hidden, having a more introspective and reflective relationship with you. You can also bring out more hidden or intense feelings in fans. They may become more obsessed or possessive of you, or they may feel a stronger connection to you. Your fans are the type to always question your actions and reconsider whether or not they should continue to admire you, each time you prove that yes, the harder it is for them to leave.
Asteroid Fan in Signs
✧. ┊ Aries: With Asteroid Fan in Aries, get ready for an enthusiastic and passionate supporter. They're drawn to your energy and may see you as a leader or trailblazer. They're spontaneous, expressive and quick to react to everything you do. You can expect lots of random compliments and affection, but they may also get defensive and impatient with people who don't like you.These fans may also be very demanding of you and want to have your content on a daily basis.
✧. ┊ Taurus: With an Asteroid Fan in Taurus, your beauty and sensuality are what they love about you. They may be supportive of your material goals and see you as a source of comfort. These fans are loyal, constant and trustworthy. They love letting you know how much you mean to them, but they can also be quite protective and jealous. Your fans also expect the best from your work, even if it takes time.
✧. ┊ Gemini: The Asteroid Fan in Gemini is all about communication skills and intellectual curiosity. They may follow you on social media and send you long messages, often with a playful and witty tone. They're fans one day and roasting you the next, but they're excited when you reply. They are the type that most reblog/share their content to others.
✧. ┊ Cancer: With Asteroid Fan in Cancer, it's all about emotional depth and sensitivity. They see you as a source of emotional support or a parental figure. They're very protective of you and always willing to listen when you need to vent. You are hardly the type to see your fans, as they appear more in fights and discussions to defend you than giving you likes, comments... they are more of the types that only observe the content, always following but not actively showing up.
✧. ┊ Leo: The Asteroid Fan in Leo is drawn to your charisma and creativity. They're supportive of your artistic endeavors and see you as a source of inspiration. These fans idolize you completely and are always looking for ways to keep you in a good mood. They're warm, playful, and very admiring of you.They see you as a kind leader.
✧. ┊ Virgo: With Asteroid Fan in Virgo, they're drawn to your work ethic and attention to detail. They may be helpful in your daily life and provide practical support. These fans are devoted, but can be a bit shy when interacting with you. They're intelligent, calm, and willing to do anything for you. These are the types of fans with whom the more you create a routine of posts and interaction, the more they help you to grow.
✧. ┊ Libra: With Asteroid Fan in Libra your fans are drawn to your sense of balance and harmony. They share your values and interests and admire your sense of style. These fans bring you peace and harmony, and they're emotional and loving. They trust you and may ask for your advice.
✧. ┊ Scorpio: The Asteroid Fan in Scorpio is drawn to your intensity and emotional depth. They see you as someone who understands their innermost feelings and desires, and they may be interested in spiritual or mystical topics. These fans are extremely intense and loyal, sometimes even obsessed. They're reserved, but feel a deep connection to you.You can also provoke difficult emotions in them with envy and anger.
✧. ┊ Sagittarius: Asteroid Fan in Sagittarius, they share your love of learning and exploring new ideas. They see you as a source of wisdom and guidance, and they're often drawn to your spiritual or philosophical beliefs. These fans are positive and fun, and love to interact with you. They're focused on you and may even idealize you a bit. You will probably attract a lot of fans younger than you, who really need more patience and care when transmitting information.
✧. ┊ Capricorn: The Asteroid Fan in Capricorn is drawn to your success and ambition. They see you as a role model or leader and may be supportive of your career or public image. These fans are consistent, productive and determined. They may feel a bit intimidated by you, but are willing to do a lot for you.This is the kind of fan that gets to see behind the scenes, the details that lead up to the result. So it's not just something you post that they see, but they can see the fonts you used, the design, etc.
✧. ┊ Aquarius: The Asteroid Fan in Aquarius indicates fans who share their idol's interests and values. Fans may be connected to their idol through social causes or activism. Your fans sincerely believe in you and will trust your words and ideas. These individuals are highly creative and often feel like they're not fully understood by others. However, when it comes to you, they feel like you get them on a deeper level. Your followers have the potential to become your close companions, and the bond between you is characterized by warmth, joy, and a distinct sense of individuality. Your ability to make them feel valued and important is a key aspect of this special connection.
✧. ┊ Pisces: The Asteroid Fan in Pisces indicates fans who are drawn to their idol's creativity and emotional depth. Fans may see their idol as a source of inspiration and be drawn to their artistic expression or spiritual beliefs. Your fans are very emotional and have an intense connection to you. They are very devoted to you and may see you as a source of comfort or escape from their own reality. They may express their feelings in a poetic or dreamy way. You may attract fans who are empathic or intuitive, who feel a deep spiritual connection with you.
Asteroid Fan in Houses
✧. ┊1st House: With Asteroid Fan in the 1st house, you have a natural charm that attracts fans and admirers. Your fans see you as a leader and may relate to you on a deep level. They want to be like you or be very similar to you. Your fans may even become your close friends, and you make them feel appreciated and special. You easily gain admiration, and some of your fans may be exclusively devoted to you.
✧. ┊2nd House:The Asteroid Fan in the 2nd house indicates that your fans may be very supportive of you financially. They share your values and interests and may admire your sense of style and taste. Your fans are consistent and detail-oriented. They may give you gifts, pictures, or small gestures, and they will always boost your self-esteem without being asked. You can always count on them for support and stability.
✧. ┊3rd House: With Asteroid Fan in the 3rd house, your fans appreciate your communication skills and intellectual abilities. They may follow you on social media or other forms of online communication. These types of fans are fun, chaotic, and always take the time to write you a beautiful message. They check up on you and ask about your day-to-day, and they can become very close to you. You may even have admirers from your school days, and you're a common topic of conversation in their lives.
✧. ┊4th House:The Asteroid Fan in the 4th house indicates that your fans see you as a source of emotional support or a parental figure. They may be connected to you through your shared cultural or familial background. Your fans find refuge in you, and they feel very close to you. You make them feel comfortable with themselves, and there is a strong and lovable connection between you and them. Your fans are intuitive and can quickly pick up on your mood, and they treasure you very much.
✧. ┊5th House: With the Asteroid Fan in the 5th house, your fans are drawn to your creativity, passion, and self-expression. They see you as a source of inspiration and may be very supportive of your artistic endeavors. Your fans are fun, spontaneous, and loving, and they may tease you playfully. You share many hobbies and personality traits with them, and they put you on a kind of pedestal. Many want to be like you and could even see you as a role model. Some may even find you attractive and appealing and develop a crush on you.
✧. ┊6th House: The Asteroid Fan in the 6th house indicates that your fans appreciate your work ethic and attention to detail. They may be helpful in your daily life and provide practical support and assistance. Your fans are helpful and deeply devoted to you, and they take away your stress, making you feel more relaxed. They support and appreciate everything you do, and their support is unconditional and constant. You become part of their routine, and they cherish you.
✧. ┊7th House: The Asteroid Fan in the 7th house signifies fans who are drawn to their idol's charisma and charm, seeing them as a potential partner or companion who shares their values and interests. These fans deeply adore you and are committed to your success. Although they may differ from you in personality, they become close to you and receive your affection. They may even see you as a crush.
✧. ┊8th House:The Asteroid Fan in the 8th house signifies fans who are attracted to their idol's intensity and emotional depth, seeing them as someone who understands their innermost feelings and desires. These fans feel a great interest in you and discover your most personal and profound aspects. They identify with you closely and feel intrigued by you. They respect you for your maturity, and there is a lot of intimacy and closeness between them and you.
✧. ┊9th House:The Asteroid Fan in the 9th house signifies fans who share their idol's love of learning and exploring new ideas, seeing them as a source of wisdom and guidance. These fans are friendly and curious, and they see you as superior on many levels. They are interested in your philosophy and thinking, and they appreciate not only your talent but also your personality.
✧. ┊10th House:The Asteroid Fan in the 10th house signifies fans who are drawn to their idol's success and ambition, seeing them as a role model or leader. These fans respect you and support your career and public image. They form a strong community, and they see you as a professional. They may be slightly intimidated by you, but they are loyal and supportive, always encouraging you to improve and trust your abilities.
✧. ┊11th House: The Asteroid Fan in the 11th house signifies fans who share their idol's interests and values, connected through social causes or activism. These fans see you as eccentric and inspiring, with a friendly and approachable personality. They feel motivated by you and empowered to pursue their goals. They are very diverse, and you have a large fanbase. You have great influence over them.
✧. ┊12th House: The Asteroid Fan in the 12th house signifies fans who are drawn to their idol's mystical or spiritual nature, seeing them as a source of inspiration or guidance in their own spiritual journey. These fans find solace and sanctuary in you, and they feel that you understand them. They are very dedicated, sentimental, and expressive, and they may become addicted to you. They idolize you and see you better than you see yourself.
Asteroid Fan Aspects Overview
✧. ┊Conjunction: A conjunction between the Asteroid Fan and a planet indicates that a person's fans may have a strong impact on their personality or life path. Fans may be very important to their idol's success or sense of self.
✧. ┊Trine or Sextile: A sextile or trine between the Asteroid Fan and a planet indicates that a person's fans may provide support or opportunities for growth and development. Fans may be helpful in their idol's personal or professional life.
✧. ┊Square or Opposition:A square or opposition between the Asteroid Fan and a planet indicates that a person's fans may cause conflict or tension in their life. Fans may have difficulty relating to their idol or may be a source of stress.
Asteroid Fan in Aspect to Planets
✧. ┊Sun: The Asteroid Fan in aspect to the Sun indicates that the person's fans may be drawn to their identity or sense of self. Fans may see their idol as a potential role model or leader.These people like their idol's creativity, enthusiasm and positivity.
✧. ┊Moon: The Asteroid Fan in aspect to the Moon indicates that the person's fans may be drawn to their emotional depth or sensitivity. Fans may see their idol as a source of comfort or support. These people like their idol in a more reserved and quiet way, almost as if it were that childhood thing that you like a lot but are ashamed to say you like.
✧. ┊Mercury: The Asteroid Fan in aspect to Mercury indicates that the person's fans may be drawn to their communication skills or intellectual curiosity. Fans may be connected to their idol through social media or other forms of online communication and talk about their idol to everyone so they can make a bigger fan-base.
✧. ┊Venus:The Asteroid Fan in aspect to Venus indicates that the person's fans may be drawn to their beauty or sensuality. Fans may appreciate their idol's style or taste. These people like the way their idol behaves in the world, being inspired by their behavior and style.
✧. ┊Mars: The Asteroid Fan in aspect to Mars indicates that the person's fans may be drawn to their energy or passion. Fans may see their idol as a leader or trailblazer and be inspired by their courage and enthusiasm.
✧. ┊Jupiter: The Asteroid Fan in aspect to Jupiter indicates that the person's fans may share their idol's love of learning and exploring new ideas. Fans may see their idol as a source of wisdom and guidance and may be drawn to their spiritual or philosophical beliefs. These fans try everything to support their idol, mainly in the form of money, but also by showing up at the events their idol is at.
✧. ┊Saturn: The Asteroid Fan in aspect to Saturn indicates that the person's fans may be drawn to their success and ambition. Fans may see their idol as a role model or leader and be supportive of their career or public image. These fans also support their idols, but because they believe in its worth and its work and want the person it idolizes to succeed.
✧. ┊Uranus: The Asteroid Fan in aspect to Uranus indicates that the person's fans may share their idol's interests and values. Fans may be connected to their idol through social causes or activism. It's also very connected to teenage and unconventional fans, who are very active on the internet.
✧. ┊Neptune: The Asteroid Fan in aspect to Neptune indicates that the person's fans may be drawn to their mystical or spiritual nature. Fans may see their idol as a source of inspiration or guidance in their own spiritual journey. These fans may also find their idol mind-boggling, yet utterly alluring.
✧. ┊Pluto: The Asteroid Fan in aspect to Pluto indicates that the person's fans may be drawn to their intensity or emotional depth. Fans may see their idol as someone who understands their innermost feelings and desires and may be interested in spiritual or mystical topics. These fans also see their idol as someone very reserved but powerful, who will take on important roles without making a fuss about it.
Tumblr media
(CC) AstroJulia Some Rights Reserved
996 notes · View notes
mochinomnoms · 1 year ago
Note
Ooo here’s an interesting thought for you. So you know how, in the interspecies romance, you mentioned how Jade and Floyd would still kinda ‘bully’ a potential partner? Can you imagine if that person were an overthinking type? Like the ‘mean’ interactions make them think that either of the tweels just do NOT like them.
Basically misunderstandings abound.
Floyd gifts them a tooth; are they next?? Jade gives a poisonous (but pretty/rare) mushroom; is this a threat??
Could also just be a person who has a difficult time interpreting social cues, or flirting.
But either way, the poor object of their interest starts avoiding them and is so confused by the mixed signals. So they go up to Azul or something and ask if they’ve made the respective tweel angry or something. Because they thought they were getting along???
Just a poor confused bean.
Anyway sorry that was long but I just thought it was an interesting concept. 😂
As someone whose autism severely impacted their understanding of social norms, I feel this on a deeply spiritual level. In the partner's defense, the twins are just generally intimidating and take delight in scaring their peers. They say the most out of pocket shit and it's hard to tell when they're being serious or joking (they also have a tad bit of the tism). Poor Azul would be so tired of having to deal with a potential eel mate asking him to call off his right/left-hand men, they don't have a contract with him anymore, so why are they threatening them with loose teeth and poisonous mushrooms?? Azul!! Make them stop!!!
(He briefly considers staying out of it. It would do them some good to suffer through their pining until they have the common sense to look up human dating and woo methods. But they are his friends that he actually cares quite deeply for his employees whose moods are affecting productivity, so he'll explain it to you, and then go give them a good wack in the head for being stupid.)
Floyd is the more likely of the two to not look up human courting and dating methods. He's more of the kind of guy that's hoping you will get what he means by vibe alone. Like that manifesting stuff Cater goes on about. You'll have to be particularly perceptive to notice that he squeezes you a bit softer, looks at you with hearts in his eyes a bit longer than more, and notice that he slips up and calls you by your name instead of Shrimpy; he's surprisingly subtle with his growing affections. Jade would have definitely research ahead of time, plus he's very perceptive of others and their emotions around him. He'll probably be able to tell that you're not getting his advances, but on the other hand, it would be so funny to see how long it takes for you to catch on. He'll make fun of you in the future on how you “strung along a poor eel's heart, waaahhhh!” while he pined after you with foraged and handmade gifts, classic merfolk courting! That, or you accidentally start dating/a friends-with-benefits situation, both of you misunderstanding the other's intentions. It would take some incredible denseness and misunderstanding on both your parts for that to happen, which is a lot easier than you think when it comes to Jade “Keep them Guessing” Leech. Truly, a man can be too confident with regard to love, please tell him this or else you'll spend at least four months in a relationship before realizing it.
294 notes · View notes
chaotic-archaeologist · 4 months ago
Note
I have about 3 years left until I have a masters degree, but I want to work in CRM/my country’s equivalent to we-wanna-build-a-road-here-you-better-save-the-graves for a few years maybe before i possibly go for a phd. As a neurodivergent person who struggles with routines and energy levels I think a lot about how i would manage such a massive full time job. Currently I work part time at a museum that hosts small archaeological digs for kids and adults, and i have been on excavation courses before, so I know how it partially feels like.
My question is; how do archaeologists who work in the field make time and energy for going to the gym, hanging out with friends and cooking etc outside of work? It can be so intense when you work with stuff you love. Any thoughts?
- @academiaautumn
I think the best advice I can give you is that you need to get in contact with someone working this job in your country who can give you a sense of how things work, because every country is going to be a little bit different. If you're in college/university, your professors probably have connections with colleagues or former students that they can put you in contact with.
I haven't done CRM, but I've been in similar situations and heard from friends who have, and I'll be real with you: a lot of the things you're asking about? You just do not do them. But keep in mind this is for US CRM and your mileage (or kilometerage) may vary.
These jobs are location specific, so you have to travel to wherever the excavation is. Usually for a set duration, with the longest being maybe a couple of months. This time frame and travel limits a lot of what you can do. The company employing you will put you up in a motel, but it probably won't have a kitchen. Because of the travel, most of the people you know are probably on the dig with you.
Time and energy... it depends. Check out the notes on this post for different archaeologists talking about what they do in a day. CRM is hard work, which can also translate to less energy for socialization/extracurricular activities than less physical jobs.
I'm a big believer that archaeology is for everyone, but unfortunately that does not mean that all areas of archaeology are accessible across the board. Before committing to this plan, you need to get a very clear understanding of what this work entails and how that interacts with your own needs. If you don't think those are compatible, 3 years out is plenty of time to start coming up with alternatives for after your master's (which I'm sure exist).
I did not go into CRM because of my own brain and body issues. I'm not saying that you can't or shouldn't, I'm saying that CRM is a difficult environment and you should do everything you can to set yourself up for success.
If anyone who does have actual CRM experience wants to add their perspective, that would be great.
-Reid
58 notes · View notes
n3kk1tty · 4 months ago
Text
Imagine Singing an inappropriate German song in front of Nightcrawler.
Tumblr media
Readers Mutant powers- Mechanical transfiguration. You can turn your body or manipulate machines into different kinds of machines/ weapon.
Night Crawler wants to get to know the reader but the reader suffers from social anxiety and is neurodivergent.
Tumblr media
You were still pretty new to the mansion and though you tried your best to feel part of the team sometimes it was hard being the new recruit. It was especially hard to connect with some of the others as more often then not it felt like you stayed coped up with Hank geeking out over machines. This led to keeping to yourself outside of missions unless you were with Hank or being forced to discuss mechanical maintenance with Professor Xavier and Scott. Outside of those three it was your goal everyday to stay out of everyone else's way which didn't deter a certain group of them from trying desperately to befriend you.
This is what led to your now bizarre schedule which truly shouldn't overlap with everyone else's. Prep your meals early in the morning and take them to your mini fridge before anyone catches you then proceed with morning walk then training. This way there was no need for awkward conversations or worse forced social interaction between the extroverts. Rogue, Jubilee, Morph and the worse offender Nightcrawler. You were like a frightened dumpster cat they were trying desperately to befriend but there outgoing personality mixed with your introverted neurodivergent led to situations you dreaded as you never knew what to connect about.
It got so bad you jumped out a window before the group rounded a corner as they were trying to find you to go out somewhere. Hank of course scolded you for hiding out with him when they were having a man hunt again as he tried coaxing you out of the danger room computer system. " I know you're a little shy but I assure you (Y/n) they will adore you just like I do. I quite cherish our shared passions and friendship but making friends with your other teammates will be beneficial for you. " Hank sits at the computer chair staring at the hardware in front of him. "Nope. Nada. Not happening. " Your body slowly forms out of the mechanical hardware staring at your blue friend as he frowns.
" Hank. You understand that Kurt's teleporting alone randomly keeps my anxiety on edge. What happens if he knows where I'm at teleports in front of me and before I can even process it I've punched him across the room with a full force power punch. How will I ever look anyone in the face again. They will all think I did it on purpose and that I'm a newbie with a attitude problem, or even worse I'm not x-men material like Xavier thinks I am. " Hank sighs as like a mole you disappear back into the machine at the sound of the door opening. Jean walks in waving to Hank as she can already tell what's going on. Kurt had asked her a favor to use her telepathic powers to locate you which she had done but knew it would be better to give your location only if you wanted to be found.
"You know (Y/n) your a pretty hard person to find. Is there a reason your so difficult to locate outside of missions. " Silence hangs in the air. You don't dare make a sound but you know she knows you're here. It's not like you could hide your consciousness in the machine. Jean gently sighs sitting in the chair next to Hank. " It's okay I'm not mad. I just want to know why no one can find you. Truthfully your little fan club asked if I could locate you but I didn't want to give away your location if you didn't feel comfortable with it. I already know you asked Scott not to tell anyone else your schedule. I just want to make sure you're adjusting well and if there's anything I can do."
You don't dare to come out the machine but the gentleness of her voice helps lure a response out of your frightened form. " I just don't feel comfortable with the extroverts high energy. It feels like everyone's eyes are on me as the new person and I don't want to embarrass myself outside of missions. One on one I can handle the attention but all three at once it's just too much and I just shut down and panic. " Hank taps his pen against his check board. " (Y/n) has trouble understanding social cues at times and thanks to past rejections now has severe social anxiety thanks to it. She is worried that she won't say the right thing when she interacts with the others outside of missions."
Hank pats the control desk your body is currently absorbed to almost like he's patting a child's head. " This is why she's gone out of her way to avoid them. Which as you can tell Jean has led to where we are now with her using her mutant powers to avoid them. " Jean looks empathetic as you slowly reform your body out of the machine. Crawling out onto the floor slowly standing up as you embarrassingly stand there. " Do you not wish to interact with them at all? They really just want to be your friend and get to know you better. All of us do. Though I do understand everything has been a lot, but you have been doing wonderful on missions and the repairs around the mansion. Even the students adore you. Just have more faith in yourself okay (Y/n) I'm sure they are just excited to get to know the real you. "
Hands fiddle with the end of your sweater. Rubbing the fabric between your fingers was helping just slightly with your nerves as you stand in front of Jean. " I really do want to make friends with them as well. It's just hard to. I don't think I'm ready to face them today but I definitely will try better in the future to make steps to get closer to the rest of the team. If you could do me a favor though could you tell them I'm sorry if I've appeared rude and that I'm sorry if it seemed like I didn't like them." As Jean stands up satisfied with the conversation you quickly grab onto her arm in a panic. " Please don't tell Kurt we're I am though. Tell him I went to bed early. His teleportation makes me anxious as I'm worried he's gonna scare me and I'm gonna accidentally knock him out in panic. I feel like I've already royally screwed up our relationship with my running away. The last thing I need to do is accidentally send him through a wall. He will really think I hate him. "
Jean laughs patting your hand in comfort. " Well I'll make sure to tell him that next time he wants to talk with you that he should try walking in instead of teleporting and scaring you. Trust me I understand the shock that it can have on someone. It took a lot of us months to get used to the scare. " Jean had fulfilled her promise to you informing them all about your social anxiety and to give you space and patience. Exspecially making sure to drive the point home to Kurt that his teleporting scared you not because of his looks but because it suddenly scared you. To bad though that Jean was too late to prevent the groups scheming. See Kurt was so infatuated with getting to know you because he had a small crush on you ever since you shared candy with him on your first mission together.
He had successfully convinced the other extroverts to help with his plan of getting to know you better. This was no small task though as somehow you had managed to be the hardest person to find ever outside of missions. Even trying to learn your schedule was impossible as Scott wouldn't tell any of them at all. When Jean had comeback to tell Kurt you had already gone to bed but that you did want to get to know him he was over the moon. Taking the instructions of trying not to scare you with his teleportation to heart he was fueled with excitement to carry out his plan. See they couldn't figure out your schedule from Scott but that didn't mean you were safe from some good old stalking.
Your dorm room was right across from Rogues and with some late night staking out she was able to get a rough outline and idea around the time you'd get up. The group was able to figure out that you got up at Four every morning and would be in the kitchen prepping your meals for the day before coming back to leave them in your room. It was the only part of your schedule they had figured out but now with the encouragement that you actually wanted to know them in place they could carry out with their match making scheme. All Kurt had to do was catch you while you were cooking. Maybe make it look like he woke up early on accident and you were just so happening to be in the kitchen.
It was the perfect scheme because there was no way you'd abandon your meal prep to hide or run away so this was Kurt's chance to make some progress. Jubilee was so excited to carry out this plan as it was like playing a real life dating simulator. She excitedly prepped Kurt for the first attempt chattering on about how you were like a romantic interest and all he had to do was slowly fill your heart meter to gain more playable interactions. Morph pitched into the plan by transforming into you to help Kurt practice his first interactions. Though he didn't really appreciate the teasing he got from Morph while they wore your face. " I don't think pickup lines would go over well for a first interaction. "
Jubilee chastised Morph as they teased the furry blue elf. " Hey who doesn't like flirting. It may be a great hit with (Y/n)" Rogue shook her head not really agreeing with it either. " Now she already is like a scared cat in a rainstorm. You heard Jean we gotta be aware of her anxieties. Any mess ups may set our progress backwards. " Kurt gulped at the thought of messing this up. You were so sweet and caring on missions always worried about everyone and how things would affect civilians. The first mission he ever went on with you after the fight was over you stayed for hours making sure people were taken care things were cleaned. You had done it all with a never ending kind smile and when leaned against a wall exhausted you had offered Kurt a soft salted caramel from your pocket.
He swore that those caramels tasted like heaven. Now he was determined to win your friendship then hopefully if he was blessed enough your heart. He set off for bed putting his alarm to wake him around the time you were expected in the kitchen. He rehearsed his conversation multiple times as he lay restlessly in his bed before eventually drifting off into dreams about soft caramels.
Now was cooking all your meals at once in the dead of the morning when no one else would possibly be awake a little annoying. Maybe. Was it worth it for uninterrupted personal time before you went to go galavanting in the woods. Definitely. I mean before the X-Men you were used to this schedule as making ends meat in an adopted family of mutants was hard. So waking up to avoid the extroverts and meal prep was just easier for you in the long run anyway. Not like it was much different then back in the junkyard. Though a habit you never could break from your time in the junkyard was working in the dark. There really wasn't a need to turn on lights when your automatic eyes would just adjust to night vision anyway.
So here you were in the pitch dark of the kitchen only the slightest flame from the gas stovetop lighting the room. Which truthfully made no difference in the inky black abyss as pots clattered and things bubbled on the stove. You had on your list of foods today to make was your homemade salted caramel squares. Headphones in coffee at your side you bounced around the kitchen dancing and singing along to the songs. Of course you had a built in system to tell you how loud you were being to make sure you didn't wake anyone but that didn't stop you from aggressively dancing along to what ever came on in your play list.
I mean it was like a mini concert with just you and the stove. If anyone did wake up the turning on of the lights would alert you to cease your unrestrained shenanigans. Your previous song stops and suddenly the night-cored version of the song Doktorspiele starts blaring through. Jumping up and down you sing along to the perverse lyrics in German. You were aware of how raunchy the lyrics were actually but it's not like a lot of people knew the lyrics at first hearing. The only people you had to worry about hearing was Kurt or Anna Marie. There was no way they would catch you so swaying your hips bouncing your weight from left and right you sang your heart out to the song.
At one point you were so into the song you were singing into the spoon that was stirring the caramel while running your hands from your thighs up into your hair being playfully sensual like the song. Blissfully unaware of the Blue German speaking mutant sitting in shock and amusement on the counter furthest away from you. He could never imagine that the girl he had a crush on would be standing before him singing in his native tongue about a raunchy game of playing doctor. I mean he didn't want to stop you the words rolling from your mouth were incredibly enticing to him. If your relationship was a little closer he may have even had the confidence to act up on the lyrics suggestions.
Not wishing to ruin this he sat watching you be so open and free. He wanted desperately for you to be like this all the time. He almost forgot you weren't aware he was there until when you did your finishing move for the song spinning around his direction posing your heart out. He couldn't help but clap, enamored by the sight. That was until electric robotic eyes opened spotting him in the night vision sight. The sound that came out of you was robotic high pitched and squeaky. Like a voice synthesizer breaking to replicate as it got more robotic. You threw the spoon in pure panic leaping back in fear before crawling behind the kitchen counter as your heart and mind raced away in embarrassment.
Kurt almost immediately by instinct dashed after you trying to apologize. " Oh no, please don't run away!" You curl into a ball eyes closed tight as your heartbeat races in your ear. So tightly round up that you couldn't spot Kurt gently crawling next to you. " I'm so sorry, liebling. Even after Jean informed me to not scare you I've done it anyway. " It's like the disappointment can be heard through Kurt's voice as something about it stings. " I-i'm okay. I'm so sorry I was singing that song Kurt. I know it's perverse and I shouldn't be singing them for others to hear. I didn't wake you did I?" Bright glowing doe eyes just slightly peak into glowing golden orbs from above warm hands. Kurt smiles at how much you look like a mouse hiding like this in front of him. He truly wanted to pull you into a hug begging you to sing it again for him just so he could know the dirty promises made in German but he knew that wasn't the way to go about this.
"Do not fret over me. I was just coming to get some water. I was trying not to scare you with the lights but I couldn't help watching you be so lively and energetic. " You slowly lift your head to see the soft smile on Kurt's face as he intently looks into your glowing orbs. " You don't mind the lyrics? Or my terrible singing?" Kurt pats your hand almost jokingly scoffing at the comment. " There is no reason to mind. It is a catchy song and it sounds even better sang by a beautiful woman like you. If you wanted I could help you practice your German pronunciation. " This eases your mood as you laugh a bit. The anxiety's slowly melting away as you see the passion behind Kurt's eyes. " Maybe I should take you up on that offer in the future. "
You share a few more jokes between each other before the sound of the stove bubbling over catches your attention. Darting up you lunge towards the sweets boiling monstrously. " Oh no the carmel !?"
53 notes · View notes