Tumgik
#I don't think the text supports it I just want it
chevvy-yates · 3 days
Text
Sending out kudos to everyone who has shown their love towards Ryder for the past two years.
I love u all very much and every engagement, be it even just a like, means a lot to me.
I've intended to sorta make a cool post of some older vp of him as of today, September 17th, exactly 2 years ago I have created Ryder,— back then as a supposed supportive character for Vijay, very unsure if I would like him as Ry didn't visually turn out as I wanted him to be in the first place and he never went that way either afterwards — yet I find myself writing those lines instead.
I've accepted his look and his imperfection started to grow on me with each picture I took of him. Unlike my other ocs he went his own way leading me along to discover his personality. That's what makes him so different compared to my other blorbos and has me so attached to him.
I did not plan to make him a raver (he was supposed to become an 80s goth punk, a total different style than he's got now) neither that he would end up with a rogue AI controlling him. Only his name, basic info and the toxic family story was planned right from the beginning but that's pretty much it – Ryder showed me the rest of it.
Within the year 2023 I noticed more and more that Ryder has slowly but surly turned out to be my main character.
He turned out to be the most expressive and photogenic one of them all. I don't see him as the prettiest looking either yet he's my most precious and I love every pixel about him.
He's the one thing in my life I am actually truly 100% proud of.
Almost all my ocs exist because of him. They are his support characters. Without him half of them would not even exist. There would be no Thyjs. Even Garnet exists so Ry can live out his passion (that was not really put into the game but exists as lore: Technoise).
I am beyond happy to have created him.
He helps me in a lot of rather personal ways too I do not need to address here.
I got so much to tell about him (also about my other ocs) yet idk if I should continue or not as I find myself stuck with overthinking about it bc of lack of public response literally everywhere (this excludes private chat talks with close friends). Maybe Ryder's too intimidating (not the first time I would read that), his lore gets overlooked easily, or it's to much (confusing) text.
I cannot make anyone force-like him. Tastes are different. Minority is into others oc lore. Less time to read it all. The list is long. I'm aware of it all.
But I cannot underline it enough: do never hesitate to ask me questions about him. He's on my mind 24/7 and my biggest wish is to get this story out and done some day (whenever it will be) and receive some actual feedback on it what was liked.
Just a tiny detail is enough. <3
Another wish I have ever since I joined the CP77 fandom: that people would go back to comment each other more. We all do have little time for it, we all think "oh no so much text to read", we all are in our own bubbles rarley coming out to explore another bubble within this universe. It takes a lot of effort to do. people do seem scared on top to write anything at all for numerous reasons. I have all those problems as well. But I try to sit down and read the one or other lore chunk others wrote down and give a tiny comment as best as I can to make the creator have a smile on their lips. I truly wish we all would do this at least once a week to one person. once a month would be also fine. But if we don't this fandom will be dead soon enough and all thats left is just liking vp with characters on it we know almost nothing about. And maybe even those characters won't have lore anymore bc people stop creating it.
29 notes · View notes
rachalixie · 2 days
Text
i want minho to always be by my side. i want to come home to him and wake up next to him and say goodnight to him. i want to listen to him complain and have him listen to me complain. i want him to defend me and i want to destroy anyone who ever hurts him. i want to soak in his smiles and make him laugh and dry his tears when he cries. i want to catch him smiling at me and smile back when he tells me he loves me with fondness in his eyes. i want him to validate me when i'm angry but call me out when i'm being unreasonable. i want him to dislike the people i dislike just because he wants to support me. i want him to cook for me when i'm overwhelmed so i don't have to think about it and i want to bring him lunch when he's at work because he forgot to pack it for himself. i want to take up his every waking thoughts and write his name in drawn hearts in my notebook when i'm studying. i want to share a bottle of wine with him until we're both giggling into each other's shoulders. i want to send him silly little texts and get silly little selfies in response. i want to video call him while he's away from home because i miss seeing his face every day. i want to soak up his smell and steal his clothes so i can smell him whenever i want to. i want to kiss him until his eyes flutter shut and i can feel them against my cheeks. i want to run my hands through his hair as he sleeps on my lap and i want him to rub my back when i fall asleep next to him. i want to line my walls with polaroid pictures of him and i.
45 notes · View notes
starcurtain · 6 hours
Note
I love your post so much I love how everything is backed by evidence. I wanted to ask for your opinions on ratio and aventurine's relationship (relationship in general, not necessarily in a romantic sense).
My mind keeps goes back to Aventurine and "Aventurine"'s conversation about Ratio's fake betrayal part of the plan and Aventurine says "Or maybe he wasn't acting at all?". I just keep thinking about how even though Ratio did exactly what he was supposed to do to help the plan succeed, Aventurine can't help but doubt the motives of the person that he's working with even when he does exactly what will benefit his plan. I've just been thinking that maybe it's another part of Aventurine where he can't completely trust anyone. I've seen a lot of post where people state that they had a great deal of trust in each other and that's why the plan succeeded but ignore what that line means for how Aventurine might've felt about it.
And then on Ratio's side of this, I do think he cares about Aventurine's well being but only does what he can to help him because if he tried to force Aventurine to be better, to treat himself better, it wouldn't really change Aventurine's mind on his self if it's for someone else's sake instead of his own. The little flavor text of Ratio's sticker in 2.3 mentioned how he's "just doing what a supporting character should do." which is, supporting the main character I'd think. Ratio does genuinely care for humanity so I can't think the only reason he sticks around Aventurine is "because he makes an interesting conversation partner than most."
I just can't stop thinking about how they're undoubtedly connected for another reason besides just their work, and I am just so curious about what the writers have in mind for their cooperation in the future. sorry for my trash heap ✌️ if this is too incomprehensible I understand not answering it
Okay, the full answer to this ask is over here in a separate post, since I thought it might stretch people's dashes a bit if I didn't, BUT before we get to that, there is one little thing I wanted to say and don't have room for in the other post:
You mention: Aventurine says "Or maybe he wasn't acting at all?" I just keep thinking about how even though Ratio did exactly what he was supposed to do to help the plan succeed, Aventurine can't help but doubt the motives of the person that he's working with even when he does exactly what will benefit his plan.
And while I agree that Aventurine has TRUST ISSUES stamped on his forehead, I also think that a lot of people kind of gloss over one major aspect of the scenes between Aventure and "Future" Aventurine, which is that:
Aventurine spends most of those scenes convinced he's actually talking to a manifestation of Sunday's power.
Aventurine starts off suggesting the "Future" Aventurine is a dream or psychotic hallucination.
Tumblr media
He rejects the idea that "Future" Aventurine is actually himself at all, and asserts that this "Future" figure is a "newborn of the Harmony's power." He even has a throwaway line asking if he's about to become an Emanator of the Harmony himself. (And the Ena-Gaiathra fans rejoiced.)
Tumblr media
Normally I would say that's all there is to this, Aventurine just not wanting to accept this ghostly version of himself and the harsh truths it keeps bringing to light.
But, throughout the entire lead up to the end of 2.1, we get weird moments where the "Future" Aventurine asks for information it should already have. A lot of these are passed off as "Well, I just want to hear you say it yourself!" but... if it's truly Aventurine himself and knows all there is to know about him, why does it need to hear the info from the real Aventurine?
Why do we continually get exchanges that strongly call into question what the "Future" Aventurine even knows?
Tumblr media
And:
Tumblr media
Later:
Tumblr media
(Shouldn't it have already known?)
Repeatedly, the "Future" Aventurine says things that imply it is still learning about the real Aventurine:
Tumblr media
Even up their very last scene together, the "Future" Aventurine was constantly pressing the real Aventurine to reveal every detail of his plan:
Tumblr media
"Future" Aventurine goes through the cornerstone shuffle, guesses at Ratio's involvement, pushes Aventurine to reveal the broken Aventurine cornerstone, asks what tactics Aventurine intends to use to win his gamble, how the IPC fits into all of this, and finally comes to the realization that Aventurine plans to use Acheron to create "death."
Tumblr media
We could go very deep with this and suggest all these weird "Did you or did you not know this information? Are you really me or not?" exchanges are just meant to show Aventurine's doubting nature, that his mind is a mess and that he doesn't, even at his deepest, understand himself, but I don't think the devs did this accidentally. We're being given plausible deniability on purpose.
At the very least, we players are supposed to ask ourselves: Could it be that this really is the Harmony and not Aventurine himself?
Until the very last scene, when "Future" Aventurine completely changes his tune to gentle empathy, real Aventurine is definitely convinced that he's still talking to a manifestation of Sunday's power.
Right after the line about Ratio's betrayal supposedly being real or not, Aventurine is still saying:
Tumblr media
Or, an even clearer indicator that real Aventurine was convinced he was talking to Sunday's manipulations: The "Future" Aventurine is listed as ??? in the dialogue option all the way to the very end, when Aventurine at last accepts that he may be speaking to himself, and the name card finally changes to "Aventurine."
Tumblr media
So, what to make of this line then:
Tumblr media
Personally, I think there's enough dubiousness to the whole situation to suggest that we can't really take this line at face value.
Is Aventurine genuinely doubting Ratio here... or, convinced that he's still talking to the Harmony, is Aventurine scrambling to try to keep the last details of their plan out of Sunday's reach?
If after this line he's still telling "Future" Aventurine to stop stealing information from his mind, can we really expect him to be speaking truth here?
Throughout all of these scenes with "Future" Aventurine, real Aventurine continually refuses to reveal new details about his plot, forcing "Future" Aventurine to fill in the gaps. It's clear from other lines throughout the theme park scenes that Aventurine is intentionally avoiding giving away any specifics that the "Future" doesn't already know:
Tumblr media
So to me, even though I agree that Aventurine has been made into a distrustful person by his traumatic experiences and I think he does doubt the sincerity of everyone around him...
I don't necessarily think this one line about Ratio should be held up as an example of that deep doubt.
I think there's enough suspicion cast on the "Future" Aventurine and its possible connections to the power of the Harmony that many of the things Aventurine says to it might actually be attempts to mislead and distract, so that he can carry his final gamble through without Family intervention.
And I think looking at this line about Ratio from that mindset also introduces an entirely different possibility many people seem to overlook:
Is it out of character for Aventurine to make sure the only person sacrificed in his gambles is himself?
If Aventurine really thought he was talking to a manifestation of Sunday's power, could it be that saying "Maybe Ratio wasn't acting! Maybe he really did betray me!"... wasn't doubt, but an attempt to protect his co-conspirator? To shift the blame away from Ratio and spare him from the fallout if their plan ultimately went awry? To make himself the Family's only target?
I'M JUST SAYIN'!!
Anyway, totally go read the rest of the actual answer about Aventurine and Ratio's relationship now~! It's all posted!
23 notes · View notes
benegesseritofficial · 8 months
Text
Pushing Daisies has immediately struck me as extraordinarily queer coded. Enjoy my rant.
This show came out in 2007 and yet Ned is an extremely gentle man in every aspect of his characterization. He was emotionally wounded as a child, a fact we linger on and explore at length. He drives people away but in an incredibly passive way. He isn't interested at all in the hot woman throwing herself at him. The only person he's interested in was his childhood best friend. The man is passive, sweet, and a romantic; not someone who would chase you but a prize to be won.
Chuck is literally named Chuck. Sure her name is Charlotte but when we first meet her she's in a dinosaur costume and her name is Chuck. No one's called her Chuck since Ned, and when he does again she only wants him to call her Chuck. Almost immediately everyone calls her Chuck. Also... Charolette Charles? Charolette is the feminine form of Charles. Gender fuckery is afoot from square one. And she's assertive. She has no trouble talking over Ned, or any other man for that matter. She cares deeply about feelings and emotions and her perceptions of right and wrong, and she will steamroll anyone who tries to contradict her. She kisses Ned first. She figures out how she can safely kiss Ned. They both wanted it but she's the one who starts problem solving. Now, her actress Anna Friel is slender, her hair is long, and she is dressed exclusively like a 1950s fashion model. She's 5'5", but dwarfed by Lee Pace's 6'5". But what if she wasn't? What if she was opposite a man who wasn't a fucking tree? What if these lines and actions were given to a woman who wasn't a size 2? What if Anna Friel wore jeans for even one scene while Chuck interrupts and problem solves and takes action? Well, the audience might start to notice that the character isn't very feminine at all. Chuck is all character and very little gender. She could really be played by anyone.
And finally, Olive. Dear, sweet, Olive, longing after a man who shuts down one half her advances and doesn't seem to notice the other half. Olive, who is bold and brash and catty and fun and (apparently, by the costuming department's choices) obsessed with '70s fashion. It's 2007. A gay writer cannot express his struggles longing after a straight man who will never care for him. Not in so many words. But he could write most of that character. He could just swap a few little details and pronouns. By the time a minuscule, high voiced actress is reading Olive's lines, the average straight viewer would never even guess. But there Olive is; a readymade gay icon, over the top and feminine and unapologetically attracted to men. Everything a more feminine gay man wishes he could be out in the open. Olive can tell gay men's stories when they couldn't use their own voices. Relatedly, once you see her and Chuck's aunts as drag queens, you just can't unsee it. When Olive first meets those two, they take her under their wing as a kindred spirit. In the course of telling a story, it's not a trope or action that makes much sense for straight women. Younger women don't seek out and value the advice of old women. Not on TV, not in the cultural wisdom of 2007 or today. Gay men on the other hand. Drag queens on the other hand. If you were in the culture, you understood to value your elders when they bestowed wisdom.
And none of that addressing the situation. Ned absolutely cannot touch the person he's in love with. He and Chuck kiss in (I think) the third episode. Chuck isn't a love interest, she is arguably his girlfriend for most of the series. And yet, a forced wall must remain between them. Chuck has to remain in disguise when they're in public. They are together, but still feel they have to restrain themselves. There is no clear future for their relationship, no matter how in love they are. Much like a gay couple might feel, years before widespread societal acceptance and legal recognition of their relationship. It isn't safe, and only a few close friends can know.
32 notes · View notes
silusvesuius · 17 days
Text
g*lmar rly has to be the best skajrim character on the real like even if you don't like him he just is . literally The best one i think......... on dat note i also imagine that he and ulfr*c despite being fairydust BFFs for lyfe genuinely have the worst communication skills ever seen
#text#but i already talked about how g*lmar is weird about ulfr*c anyways#literally jubilant and feeling special cus he's the only person ulfr*c actually trusts and speaks to outside of formal conversations#he's a very manly man too (like N*loth) for wanting to just control everything... well actually having ulfr*c under 'control' is enough 4 -#- him. unlike n*loth who wants to be above everything that moves. literally not about him tho#i hope that other st*rmcloaks develop a habit of going to hide downstairs in the palace whenever they can tell the vibe between -#- g*lmar and ulfr*c is off because they're gonna be yelling at each other and throwing shit around for 40 minutes in a few seconds#i don't believe they'd fight insanely often but being at an active war probably gets them heated more. Often than usual; and their -#- conflicts are never resolved. i feel like they just don't talk to each other for a good 2 days and act like nothing happened#they're way too manly and prideful to actually let the other one 'win' so they just don't say anything ever post-arguing#Tbhs g*lmar actually really likes that ulfr*c is so unstable and harrowed because it makes himself feel very good and reliable -#- but he has his limits 😂LMFAOO i bet sometimes he gets really tired of him being so traumatized. very rarely but he does think about it#i'll have to desribe that a bit better later tho... don't know how to word it atm#but maybe he wants to punch him or something BYE. no...... 💔savage as hell#he likes it in a very general sense of ulfr*c's personality especially between them but doesn't like it when it causes them to clash#this might just be mostly ulfr*c's doing cus i doubt he's actually talkative about his past issues and Troubles (torture mayhem) and -#- can't communicate anything about it or set boundaries when needed. he just gets mad or very avoidant. No fixing that tho#well it's just shameful to him so he'd rather do nothing than even admit anything to anyone Everrrrr#why does his life suck so bad LMFAOOOOOOOOO#their nasty musty mutualism .. leeching off your traumatized Bff so that he can make you feel good by saying he needs you in particular#while U pay him back with some support.......SOME#Oh well#that zero communication between some sk*rim characters looks yammy as fuck to me. A;lways. ALWAYS#nelvas is power dynamic induced...... g*lmar&&ulfr*c trauma-caused... elituli Um😂 t*llius doesn't even know any hobbies she has#bye this is why they're serving so hard
9 notes · View notes
spookykestrel · 1 year
Text
you make plans with your friends when youre growing up that you'll move in togehter and always stay near and go to each other's weddings and always talk and always call and then you get to the age you're supposed to start doing that kind of thing and realize all the friends you had hoped would stay by you forever have gone off to do things without you and you're just in the same spot and suddenly you have to do it all on your own
52 notes · View notes
talkorsomething · 3 months
Text
I have Got to get more transgender
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#transmasc#trans ftm#transgender#i like 2 say i'm very trans already but unforch i am Not Really. mostly boring ftm Guy Ever#so tempted to cut my hair again but my sense of what i look like is already so fuzzy i dont think it'd help..#want to dye my hair anyways. at this point i'd take whatever color i can get if not purple LOL#it's almost everything i could want and yet ... still me. still the same life. stuck.#soooo high functioning like you wouldnt believe EXCEPT istg i need an emotional support human who will guide me through tasks#such as 'pay with your Moneys Card at the Store'#or... idk that's it really. maybe go grocery shopping without feeling like i'm not meant to be there also#or like. exist in general maybe#reasons why not emotional support Animal: creature cannot understand capitalism. and also is not as necessary as a service dog specifically#idk! every time i come on here i fall apart (in text) and then pull myself back together for another day of ... this i guess.#i'm not even having like crying breakdowns or anything to go along with it i'm just held inside this shell of a body. typing away again#i'm soso tempted to make things worse. progress wouldn't matter anymore... at least maybe it would feel real that i'm like this#i wish my face fit on my body right. and also that i did not look quite so much like a vaguely gnc lesbian#like at LEAST let me look butch as hell but no. curse of sad hair & uncertainty#miss my little mullety thing from that brief period in october... miss my short hair from back in 2017 ...#just dont feel satisfied with what i am now. in general.#top surgery is literally Within my reach but i'm not sure about cost and i need to wait because of doing guard now......#my list of do i want t i kept for the past month turned out to be a bunch of maybes#partially cause i got sick. partially cause it stopped being shark week and i forgot about it#as always happens...#still unsure in my new(er) name. only heard it once#didn't feel the same way as with my old one? but idk. just don't know.#missing guard also but feeling conflicted about not having time for other hobbies...#since winter season is over i've had so much time to play guitar! that's insane! mostly cause i stopped playing for unrelated reasons...#just tired again. wonder if i need more sleep than what i always get. kind of restless.#there's nothing else to say i guess. just wish i could be a person the way everyone else seems to be.
7 notes · View notes
wonder-worker · 6 months
Text
Margaret of Anjou’s visit to Coventry [in 1456], which was part of her dower and that of her son, Edward of Lancaster, was much more elaborate. It essentially reasserted Lancastrian power. The presence of Henry and the infant Edward was recognised in the pageantry. The ceremonial route between the Bablake gate and the commercial centre was short, skirting the area controlled by the cathedral priory, but it made up for its brevity with no fewer than fourteen pageants. Since Coventry had an established cycle of mystery plays, there were presumably enough local resources and experience to mount an impressive display; but one John Wetherby was summoned from Leicester to compose verses and stage the scenes. As at Margaret’s coronation the iconography was elaborate, though it built upon earlier developments.
Starting at Bablake gate, next to the Trinity Guild church of St. Michael, Bablake, the party was welcomed with a Tree of Jesse, set up on the gate itself, with the prophets Isaiah and Jeremiah explaining the symbolism. Outside St. Michael’s church the party was greeted by Edward the Confessor and St. John the Evangelist; and proceeding to Smithford Street, they found on the conduit the four Cardinal Virtues—Righteousness (Justice?), Prudence, Temperance, and Fortitude. In Cross Cheaping wine flowed freely, as in London, and angels stood on the cross, censing Margaret as she passed. Beyond the cross was pitched a series of pageants, each displaying one of the Nine Worthies, who offered to serve Margaret. Finally, the queen was shown a pageant of her patron saint, Margaret, slaying the dragon [which 'turned out to be strictly an intercessor on the queen's behalf', as Helen Maurer points out].
The meanings here are complex and have been variously interpreted. An initial reading of the programme found a message of messianic kingship: the Jesse tree equating royal genealogy with that of Christ had been used at the welcome for Henry VI on his return from Paris in 1432. A more recent, feminist view is that the symbolism is essentially Marian, and to be associated with Margaret both as queen and mother of the heir rather than Henry himself. The theme is shared sovereignty, with Margaret equal to her husband and son. Ideal kingship was symbolised by the presence of Edward the Confessor, but Margaret was the person to whom the speeches were specifically addressed and she, not Henry, was seen as the saviour of the house of Lancaster. This reading tips the balance too far the other way: the tableau of Edward the Confessor and St. John was a direct reference to the legend of the Ring and the Pilgrim, one of Henry III’s favourite stories, which was illustrated in Westminster Abbey, several of his houses, and in manuscript. It symbolised royal largesse, and its message at Coventry would certainly have encompassed the reigning king. Again, the presence of allegorical figures, first used for Henry, seems to acknowledge his presence. Yet, while the message of the Coventry pageants was directed at contemporary events it emphasised Margaret’s motherhood and duties as queen; and it was expressed as a traditional spiritual journey from the Old Testament, via the incarnation represented by the cross, to the final triumph over evil, with the help of the Virgin, allegory, and the Worthies. The only true thematic innovation was the commentary by the prophets.
[...] The messages of the pageants firmly reminded the royal women of their place as mothers and mediators, honoured but subordinate. Yet, if passive, these young women were not without significance. It is clear from the pageantry of 1392 and 1426 in London and 1456 in Coventry that when a crisis needed to be resolved, the queen (or regent’s wife) was accorded extra recognition. Her duty as mediator—or the good aspect of a misdirected man—suddenly became more than a pious wish. At Coventry, Margaret of Anjou was even presented as the rock upon which the monarchy rested. [However,] a crisis had to be sensed in order to provoke such emphasis [...]."
-Nicola Coldstream, "Roles of Women in Late Medieval Civic Pageantry," "Reassessing the Roles of Women as 'Makers' of Medieval Art and Culture"
#historicwomendaily#margaret of anjou#my post#henry vi#yeah I don't necessarily agree with Laynesmith's interpretation (that it was essentially Marian with an emphasis on shared sovereignty)#which she herself says is 'admittedly very speculative'#as this book points out that interpretation tips the balance too far on the other side and has a somewhat selective reading#It's also important to remember that this interpretation was not really reflected across wider Lancastrian propaganda at the time#which isn't really talked about - let alone emphasized - as much by historians but remained focused on the King#For example: look at the pro-Lancastrian poem 'The Ship of State' which hails Henry VI as a 'noble shyp made of good tree'#and emphasizes how he was widely supported and defended by many great Lancastrian lords and the crown prince#but not Margaret who was entirely absent#also look at the book 'Knyghthode and Bataile' (presented to Henry) and Fortescue's various pro-Lancastrian texts in the 1460s#even the recording of that Yorkist trial which was iirc reported in the 1459 attainder#all of these were entirely conventional and highlighted the presence and importance of the King. Margaret was not emphasized.#so either the Lancastrians were impossibly inconsistent about what message they actually wanted to convey about the role of their own queen#or the Coventry pageants were not actually meant to emphasize Margaret in the lieu of Laynesmith's interpretation#and would not have been viewed in such a manner by contemporaries#I think we should also keep in mind that we don't really know what Henry VI's condition was like at the time of MoA's entry to Coventry#we know he had been injured in St. Albans and had only just recovered from his second illness#this is especially important to consider since we know he had also arrived at Coventry before Margaret but much more discreetly#and was not welcomed by any pageants that we know of. This is VERY unusual and can be best explained if we consider the fact that he#may have simply not been in the right state (be it physical or state of mind) for it at the time#in which case the pageants for Margaret should be viewed as more of a improvisation/cover-up/temporary measure to bolster prestige#or Henry may have deliberately taken a more discreet role to emphasize the position of his heir - especially important after the long wait#imo I think Kipling's interpretation (ie: that they addressed Margaret but really referenced the prince & heir) makes a lot more sense:#'Coventry [...] regarded Margaret's entry as a kind of triumph-by-proxy: the Queen entered the city but Coventry received its Prince'#though I think he tends to view Margaret as more of a cipher (and has a very questionable view of Henry VI) which I also don't agree with.#The pageants very much DID focus on and reference her but they most prominently emphasized her 'motherhood and duties as queen'#ie: I think Kipling and Laynesmith tip too far on opposite sides and I think this interpretation takes the most realistic middle ground
13 notes · View notes
missrosegold · 12 days
Text
Looks like I just lost another close friend to guy who isn't worth a pile of dog shit. 😊
#my best friend no less#i cried about this shit practically all afternoon but i'm all out of tears and now i'm just pissed off.#this shit has been going on for a long ass time but i've finally reached my breaking point with it#i love her#but she is delusional#and it kills me to say that#but that whole “relationship” (if you even want to call it that) is fake. all he cares about is money not her#the worst part is that she knows it too#oh but she “loves him” and “wants to give him one last chance” girl what the fuck?#oh but better yet he dumped her once 2 years ago already and i've hated his punk ass since#never should've gotten back tother after that and i told her as much even back then#all he does is make her cry#not do anything arount their town house#and sit on his ass and watch tv or sleep when he's not working#that's the tame stuff too i could say sooo much worse but i'm actually not trying to air her dirty laundry out her#i'm just pissed off#but suddenly IM the bad guy when tell her i won't support her or this “relationship” when she told me they were getting back together today#this is after i helped her and her parents ans brother move all her stuff out of the town house last Monday and back to her parents place#after she told me they were done for good#but IM the bad guy for bringing up all of fhe reasons listed above and all of the REALLY bad things about the relationship#when i tell her i won't be supporting her any longer and that i'll be walking away if she goes back to him#best part is her family agrees with me and they tell her all the things i say about him and then some#but when i go out on the line and put my heart down on the table for her and all i get back is a text saying:#“i don't really like how you're texting right now so we'll talk about this later.”#girl#i don't know whether or not i want to cry harder or strangle her#i think it's both#so yeah i think i just lost my best friend to a guy who doesn't remotly deserve her and everything kicks rocks rn#it's just like my other friend all over again#why do my friend have such dog shit taste in men
3 notes · View notes
taegularities · 1 year
Text
being here has never felt this suffocating.. it feels impossible sometimes to continue
#i wish you'd talked to me about it instead of making a post with screenshots#because that was nothing i did intentionally... i didn't wake up thinking 'i will be racists today' it was a mistake i'm not proud of#i meant my apology and i said i understand when people are offended and that i'm sorry#i know it was wrong and i'm ready to learn from it to not hurt people anymore and idk why it warrants calling me a full racist#and i don't know how you saw that ask bc it was days (or yesterday? idk anymore) ago and you blocked me weeks (months?) ago#you'd have to actively seek that ask out or look through my posts if im blocked for you#and if it wasn't you but someone else who pointed it out for you idk how you guys got to the point of scanning my blog#if i ever hurt anyone im ALWAYS open to talking about it. i remember once using a word wrong and someone pointed it out on anon#and I've never used that word ever since#i would've immediately apologised and deleted that bit too if you'd texted me just one sentence a la 'hey that's so not okay'#and you did the same thing when i went alway last time... never communicating but going against me while so many others reached out to me#if i didn't see anything wrong about this thing now i wouldn't have made that post. im not scared of disagreeing with ppl#and i don't know what you want me to do? i didn't even know M when their thing happened and still felt bad for them.. me or those who are#defending me didn't go against M... how would you think it's the same people? idk man#idk.. i can apologise a 100 times and it won't be okay. and if i don't say anything im dodging the topic it'll never be enough no matter#what i do#reach out to me jords tell me what i can do bc i did NOT mean to ever hurt anyone and im so freaking sorry that i did#<— this msg especially to those who were directly hurt#idk what to do so you stop posting so many screenshots#if you want ppl to stop supporting me then...yeah idk guys stop supporting me — unfollow me it's absolutely okay bc i know that was#uneducated af of me#to all sweet ppl who reached out thank you i see your messages#i'll see all those that'll come too.. i just wont answer so no one drags y'all#thank you that's it#go ahead and screenshot this too. i can't do anything else anymore#also.. the only parts i edited in my apology were 'i didn't mention japanese' and 'i dont feel superior' which i did after waking up cos#my post was made at 5am after randomly waking up during the night#edit: stop sending my friends asks saying i deserved this. i never told anyone to defend me.. they CHOSE it and they're allowed to#that's it... thank you guys and ily#ill brb. not too long just a bit
16 notes · View notes
hippo-pot · 4 months
Text
Btw, re: my opinion that computers are not gonna be able to translate sign languages in our lifetime, it's not that sign languages are necessarily More complicated than spoken/written languages (I truly don't know how you'd measure that but I'd assume they're equally complicated). But video is, in terms of sheer data, much bigger and presumably harder to process than audio. I cannot imagine this happening without *astounding* computational resources which would take far more energy, water, and money than a human interpreter (and, more importantly, wouldn't work as well, at least for the foreseeable future). I assume the computation would happen off site in most cases if it did work, meaning the Internet connection is gonna need to be phenomenal (there is already widespread dissatisfaction with VRS human interpreters used in medical settings because half the time the connection drops). Speech to text, with all the issues it still has, seems like a breeze in comparison to 'understanding' a video.
I also cannot wrap my mind around how a machine would handle depictions. Like, with some practice behind me, my human mind is now able to understand (some) depictions I've never seen before (thank goodness, because there will ALWAYS be new depictions I haven't seen before, bc Deaf people are resourceful and creative), but I don't see how a machine would. That's pure sci fi to me. I also wouldn't expect a machine to do a good job translating stuff it's never heard before in a spoken language (e.g. wordplay, or the way you can sometimes tell the meaning of a new slang word from context, or an uncommon name even), but the thing is I think depiction is a much bigger part of daily life than wordplay is?
#Just wanted to clarify I wasn't like being weird and elevating signed languages above spoken#or i mean. if i still am let me know. it's true that ASL seems more complicated to me than English#but i try to recognize and work around that bias#like of course my native language doesn't seem complicated *to me*. i get that#anyway. I also don't know anything about the tech involved so by all means take me with a grain of salt#But this truly feels like common sense to me#If you time traveled me to the year 2080 and I saw a machine accurately translating ASL into English#My first thought would be 'which ocean is being drained for this right now'#And then 'wtf is the sheer size of this program + the database it's working off of'#I think it's cool to study this stuff. Don't get me wrong. But I don't think we should kid ourselves#It's not gonna be practical anytime soon#All that's without even considering the reverse of translating a spoken language back into a signed language#i think because human interpreters aren't perfect (because the job is hard!!) there could certainly be a temptation#to think that machines could be better than humans one day#but man. do you know what would be a better use of resources for the time being?#supporting hearing and especially Deaf interpreters in their studies and jobs#turns out a great way to improve a human's performance is to give them a teammate#we don't have to jump straight to replacing them with a machine#for anyone who doesn't know: if a particular job requires deep understanding of Deaf culture & deafness & the Deaf community#a hearing interpreter can team up with a Deaf interpreter for much better results#like the Deaf interpreter can interpret the hearing interpreter's signing into signing the Deaf client can understand better#and vice versa#anyway. it makes sense people are excited about machines. but can we stop going around saying 'hey AI is gonna take your job'#for jobs that we don't even understand 🙃#this is where y'all find out that this whole wall of text is directed at a guy who said that to my husband
6 notes · View notes
neverendingford · 7 months
Text
hardwood comb project
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I forgor to buy a lighter colored wood for the spine/core so I can't keep working on it tonight cause all I've got is the walnut.
3 notes · View notes
.
10 notes · View notes
izzy-b-hands · 1 year
Text
I really wish blocking someone meant their stuff wouldn’t wind up on your dash at all. Like I understand why it doesn’t, but. still.
Actually, I just need to get better abt checking source urls before I reblog. I try to be mindful, but now and again I Forget and have only myself to blame lmao
#text post#I would love to reblog their art and be supportive in that way at least but tbh#every time I accidentally reblog it I remember checking out their blog and seeing how they talked abt fans that like Izzy and the izcourse#and it's like oh no that's right you hate ppl like me and ur art might be gorg but maybe we just shouldn't interact#they do their thing and I'll be over here doing mine#what really needs to happen is I need to remember to check urls on fandom art to make sure it isn't any of the folks I had to block lmao#but sometimes I get excited bc the art is genuinely lovely and i do like it and think the person is v talented!#and then i forget to check and it's only after scrolling my dash that i see my reblog and the url and go 'oh. fuck. that's right. damnit.'#it's a weird feeling to be like yes I want this person to have fun and make gorgeous art but also it seems#they've made it p clear how they feel abt folks like me and so maybe they would prefer i just fuck off#which i tried to do by blocking!! and yet. here we are#i delete the reblogs whenever this happens so they don't have me in their notes but#i do hope they know their art is lovely and I appreciate their hard work even if we wouldn't otherwise get along with each other#idek why I'm blogging abt this I guess bc I feel like usually it's either or online? like u either hate each other or u don't#but I don't hate the folks who sent shit to me or the folks who condoned it i just wish i had found a way to get along with them instead#as useless a wish as that probably is#and i don't talk abt it a lot but it really bugs the fuck outta me sometimes that we can't just start over and try to interact generally#no messages no trying to be friends just reblog from them if u like and otherwise ignore each other#which has been a thing that's worked fairly okay in other fandoms tho things have happened in others to change how workable it was#but for some reason in this one i feel like im just always walking on eggshells to interact w/anyone bc it feels like everyone is waiting#for someone else to say something they vaguely disagree with and instead of just like. blocking and moving on w/the fandom experience#it turns into a massive mess that even if ur on the fringes of it all you still get pulled into or sent shit and just.#idk it doesn't matter bc ultimately none of this does but dang it the show has been special to me and hits all my special interests#and it's hard to let go and accept that there's no changing how things went and how they are and how this fandom experience for me is often#very fucking lonely even when i'm bursting at the seams to share and to hear from others what they think abt anything and everything w/it#no one is gonna read this tag essay lmao pls scroll on
6 notes · View notes
Text
character: hi. i've been spending my entire narrative being told i'm not actually a girl, but i'm very sure that i am. the literal point of my story is that i have chosen an identity that defies other characters' impressions of me as a boy, and that identity is of a girl.
fandom: this character is nonbinary!!
other character: hey there! i actually don't have any sort of strong attachment to my gender even though i've been put under a lot of pressure to act like it, and my presentation tends to include both masculine and feminine qualities.
fandom: this character is definitely a trans man for sure.
different, third character: what's gender?
fandom: cis boy! <3
anyone: uh. so, wait, that first character is literally a trans girl?
fandom: WHY DO YOU HATE NB HEADCANONS
4 notes · View notes
aeide-thea · 1 year
Text
wot show is so obsessed with architecture and tbh i'm not mad about it???
#the number of like. elaborate little symmetrical rooms they have for things to happen in…#part of me is loling but part of me is like. you know what? they've got a theme. respect.#tvblogging#(also i'm just getting to 2x08 now and like. it IS funny being a show-only*)#[*ok technically i read like. two? three? of the books back in like 2020 or something but. they weren't Formative Texts of my Adolescence]#(bc i remember everybody on here was *freaking out* abt‚ i think‚ 2x07)#(and like. in retrospect i guess i understand what that was about! but i gotta admit it didn't quite have the same emotional weight for me)#(even though intellectually i understand it was supposed to)#(i mean i also think i like. often don't get that emotionally invested in romances i see onscreen?)#(not sure if that's fundamental to the medium for me or if it's because everything is so compressed)#(however i AM kinda thrilled abt this season's regendering of Uncommunicatively Angsting Blorbo vs Their Long-Suffering Support Person)#(also honestly i always really love when we don't have to do a whole performative abasing reconciliation situation)#(and someone's just like. look. our relationship is so much more deeply rooted than this one wobble. obviously i'll take you back.)#(i think honestly bc it's like. a confidence fantasy.)#(like you got SO much witcher fanfic where geralt had to‚ like‚ prostrate himself at jaskier's feet)#(to acknowledge the harm geralt had done him and how jaskier deserved so much better etc etc etc)#(and it just felt to me like the writers were really speaking to their own insecurities and what *they'd* personally need)#(bc that interaction would've thrown *them* into a tailspin so obviously it must've thrown jaskier into one)#(and like. that's valid or whatever‚ obviously! but like. sometimes don't you want to imagine what it's like to feel secure instead???)#(like 'actually i know i'm good‚ you know where to find me when you get over yourself and remember you know it too'?)
6 notes · View notes