#I don't think ive processed this all right yet

[benetnvsch]

.

[savage-rhi]

I'm very much a, "fuck yeah and fuck you, I don't need validation! I'm me, cunts!" kinda fella, but sometimes I could use support.

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

hiii i love ur fics idk if ur requests are on rn but can u do a short drabble of the tiktok trend where the guy hasn't ask his gf to be his valentines day so she "put him on sale" as a joke ofc but she's like

BF FOR SALE ($3.50)

- amazing cook

-crusty feet

- will buy anything u want

any character is fine but i would love katsuki or shoto!!

LMFAOOOO this is for sure the funniest ask ive gotten yet😭😭😭 this is so cute !! and very long overdue I apologize writer block devil was rlly kickin my ass😞 valentines been over but yk i had to write this ! i was rlly hesitating between writing for shoto or katsuki and then i realized i could write for BOTH OF THEM!! and so i did ! i tried honoring your request as best i could, hope you like it <3 !

no pronouns mentioned, pure tooth rotting nasty fluff, use of petnames (my love for shoto and sweets, babe and idiot (lol) for katsuki), katsuki is an asshat but when isn’t he, shy katsuki, shoto is a bit of an airhead, kissing, biting, reader is petty asl lol, lemme know if i missed something else !

todoroki shoto ♥︎

“yn, my love.”

“yes, shoto ?”

the corners of shoto’s mouth pull into a tiny frown at the usage of his first name. no baby, no hun, not even sho. just shoto.

“did i do something to upset you ?” he asks carefully from his spot at the foot of your dorm bed he seems to be stuck at, he can’t bring himself to move until he knows if you’re actually mad at him, and he has an inkling you are.

you look up at him for no longer than a second then look back down at your phone screen “what makes you think that ?” you question back nonchalantly.

“you posted something on your tiktok account..” shoto doesn’t have a clue how to have this conversation with you and it makes him a little nervous, he regrets not going to izuku for advice after all.

“mhmmmm~” you hum, urging him to continue knowing damn well you know what he’s going to say. you wanted to hear him say it himself.

you know shoto’s had no previous relationships before you so these type of things probably don’t mean as much to him as they do to you, but doesn’t everyone want their boyfriends to ask them to be their valentine ? you sure do, and your boyfriend hadn’t asked you to be his yet, so as petty as you know you were being at the time you posted the tiktok he’s no doubt here for right now.

shoto feels like a criminal on trial desperately trying to plead his case with you being the judge. tentatively, he asks “ you said you were..putting me up for sale ?”

immediately it’s like a switch had been flipped. you place your phone down onto your bed next to you, shoto wishes he could take your phone’s place. you cross your leg over the other and bring your hands together like a super villain revealing their master plan “yes. yes i did.”

“oh.”

silence. nothing.

shoto tried—he’s trying. he’s trying so insanely hard to make sense of everything that is you but he simply can’t. he breaks eye contact to think of more to ask but his attention is quickly pulled back to you when he hears you whine.

“uuuuughhh shotoooo~” you moan, throwing your head back against the headboard. “you’re not supposed to say ‘oh’ !” you’re face changes from grumpy to deadpan as you lower your voice slightly to try and mimic him. on any other day this would’ve made him laugh but he’s beyond lost at this point. he clears his throat before speaking again.

“ i don’t know what i’m supposed to say—or what i did for you to want to sell me.” he thinks “and for 3 dollars at that.”

you let out a laugh when you process his words and shoto’s shoulders magically feel lighter at the sound. carefully, he slides a little closer to the side of your bed so he can stand at your bedside. little by little. you pretend you don't notice.

"it's what you deserve for not askin' me to be your valentine."

the secret’s finally out and you get to see how the cog wheels in his head are starting to turn in real time, it has you holding back a giggle when he looks up at you like a deer in headlights.

“is that..why you were mad ?” you nod, humming out a playful mhmm

“ya really hurt my feelings you know ? to think my own boyfriend wouldn’t ask me” you clench your fist over your heart and fake sob dramatically.

shoto huffs out a laugh, relieved to see you’re not actually mad, and goes to sit down on your bed. he tentatively reaches for your hand and squeezes it twice when you let him hold it. before bringing it up to his lips and placing a sweet little kiss to it. it feels as if pop rocks are going off inside of you.

“ i’m sorry for not asking you to be my valentine.” he apologizes, his thumb absentmindedly rubbing your hand “ i was thinking i should’ve, but i didn’t want you to think it was weird since we’re already dating.” his thumb goes to run over your fingers “ i was worried me being too intense would scare you off.” he mumbles.

your eyebrows furrow, you lean towards him to make him look at you “ you wouldn’t scare me off, who told you that ?”

“kaminari. he said ‘coming on too strong scares away the babes.’ ” shoto quotes

you sigh. of course it was that bigmouth portable charger filling his head with this stuff.

you pull your hand out of his grasp and he looks up to protest but you grab his face in your hands before he can say anything, you can practically see him start melting at the contact as he blinks at you slowly, he reminds you of a cat.

“sho” you purr, rubbing his cheeks “ rule number one is never ever listening to kaminari’s dating advice. most of the time it is very wrong.” you explain.

shoto presses his mouth to the palm of your hand “yeah, i’m starting to regret that now.” he speaks into it, you snort. he leans in closer to press a sweet kiss to your lips and you reciprocate, pressing a few more kisses on his lips for good measure “ i’m really sorry for not asking you.” he says in between pecks. you hum in response to him placing even more kisses all around your face. “s’okay. i’m also kinda sorry for putting you up for sale.” you say, running your fingers through his hair while he places kisses on your shoulder.

he lifts his head up to look at you then, an eyebrow raised with an amused expression on his face “kinda sorry ?” he asks.

you nod “mhm. kinda sorry.”

he chuckles to himself, then gets up so he can climb into bed next to you. when he’s positioned how he likes it, with his head in your lap while you comb through his hair with your fingers, he sighs peacefully “well, it wasn’t all bad. i’m glad you think i’m a good cook.”

“what about the crusty feet ?”

“i’m choosing to ignore that part.” shoto smirks lightly to himself when he hears you laugh at his joke, clearly proud of himself for it. “and i will buy you anything you want, to make it up to you.”

“i don’t need you to buy me anything, sho” you roll your eyes with a lovesick smile “ all you gotta do is ask.”

he blinks up at you, looks off the the side as if he’s deep in thought, and suddenly gets off your lap to sit right in front of you. you never think you’ll get over how pretty your boyfriend is and being reminded of it with how close he is to you makes you flustered. he leans in to kiss you passionately and you don’t know if it’s the love he pours into it or the lack of air that has you so dizzy, you don’t dwell on it.

when he pulls away he’s looking at you like you hung up the stars in the sky and he simply, almost shyly smiles at you and asks.

“ will you be my valentine ?”

bakugou katsuki ♥︎

you did not expect katsuki to come barging into your dorm room five minutes after you’d posted your tiktok. the loud sound of someone banging on your door and proceeding to let themselves in seconds later causes you to let out a squeak.

in comes katsuki, phone tightly clutched in his hand and the moment his eyes zeroed on you he’s like a bull charging at a red flag. he stands right in front of you, angry frown on display before he shoves his phone in your face.

“explain this. now.” he growls, you have to hold back a laugh, keeping your face as calm as possible you look between him, his screen then back at your phone.

“what’s confusing about it ? i thought i was being pretty straight forward.”

his eye twitches. “why the hell did you put me up for sale ?! and for three dollars and fifty fuckin’ cents ?!” he exclaims, you can’t help the snort that bursts out of you, though katsuki doesn’t look as amused as you are.

“explain.” he deadpans.

“i think you can figure it out.” you shrug back.

he mutters insults to himself that you can’t catch “well obviously fuckin’ not, cus I wouldn’t be askin’ you if i did.” you simply shrug and look back at your phone. “i wrote it in the caption.”

it takes him a second to process then he’s tapping his password and opening the clock app at super sonic speed. his eyebrows furrow and you see him tapping away at his phone. his eyes widen when he reads your caption and he looks down at you with a mix of desperation and disbelief.

“you’re mad cus I didn’t ask you to be my valentine ?” your bratty huff and turn to the side as you shrug again is all the answer he needs. he looks at you for about 5 seconds longer then sighs.

he sits down on your bed and keeps staring. katsuki bakugou hates a lot of things and one of those things is you ignoring him. a warm hand on your ankle startles you and you can’t even ask him what he’s doing before your being yanked towards him. you squeal, almost missing the smirk on his face or the huff of laughter at your reaction. almost though, so you glare at him. katsuki looms over you until your noses almost touch, then you turn away with a huff. he chuckles, pressing his lips to your neck.

“ yer such a baby, y’know that ?” he mumbles, smirking against you neck. you huff but make no effort to shrug him off “ no i’m not, jerk. is it so wrong for me to want my boyfriend to ask me to be his valentine’s ?” you grumble, trying to ignore the feel of his warm lips against your skin, it’s not working so well for you.

“s’not what i’m sayin, sweets” he nips at your earlobe “‘m sayin’ ya coulda just told me ‘stead of bein’ a baby about it.” you can’t tell if this is his way of trying to apologize. either way, you don’t want to give in just yet.

“i’m not supposed to tell you to ask me to be your valentine’s katsuki, that’s not the point~ !” you huff petulantly. you feel a but childish but, c’mon ! it’s a given to have your boyfriend as your valentine and it wouldn’t hurt your demon spawn of a boyfriend to be a little but romantic once in a while.

he playfully rolls his eyes at you “see, what’d i tell you? big baby.” leaning forward he nips at your nose making you groan and trying to push him away with your palm. katsuki being the powerhouse that he is, doesn’t budge. “ i didn’t think to ask ya cus you’re already mine. so why should i need to ask something that’s a given ?”

your heart beats faster at his words and katsuki takes his chance when he feels you loosing up more and more. suddenly he’s got your wrists in his grip, holding them above you and looking down at you with that sickeningly handsome smirk. you’re almost there, he can practically feel it.

“i—i’m..still mad at you” you stutter out weakly, your defenses are down.

“yeah ?” he taunts.

“yeah. apologize.”

he scoffs, rolling his eyes lightheartedly “why should i apologize ? you said my fuckin’ feet stink.”

“ ah, ah, ah.” you tut “don’t put words in my mouth, i said your feet were crusty.”

“yeah, thanks babe. that makes it so much better.” he sasses, you laugh “and i complimented you ! i said you were an amazing cook !”

“yeah but that ain’t a compliment, ‘ts a fact.” he says matter of factly, you’re eyes threaten to get stuck at the back of your skull with how hard you roll them and he snickers.

he dives in and steals a kiss, and then another one when you don’t stop him. when he pulls away to catch his breath, ready to steal another kiss you stop him by placing your hand on his chest. he looks down at you questioningly and you give him a raised brow in response. he groans.

“fine. m’sorry” he concedes quietly

“foooorrr ?” you urge.

he narrows his eyes at you as if saying “don’t push it” but swallows his words down “ for not askin’ you to be my valentine’s or whatever the fuck” he shoves his now hot face into your neck and mumbles “now quit bein’ all pissed at me.”

you’re happy enough with that, so you wrap your arms around his neck, one of your hands creeping up his nape and into his hair. he sighs contentedly, clearly enjoying the attention you’re giving him.

“thank you. i’m also sorry for saying you have crusty feet.” hearing him scoff at the accusation makes you giggle “and for putting you up for sale.” he hums, happy with your apology.

“..kinda.”

“oi.” he warns. you giggle in response continuing your ministrations in his hair.

“you still haven’t asked me so..” you trail off. he lifts his head up to look at you with a blond eyebrow raised.

“ does this valentine shit really matter that much to you ?” he asks.

you respond immediately “yes.” nodding aggressively to make your point.

he sighs, shaking his head. he looks at you, then looks off to the side in embarrassment, he can be so cute when he wants to be. steeling his nerves he looks you straight in the eyes. fearless with fierce red cheeks and all.

“b-be my valentine, idiot..”

[aethelwyneleigh27]

Ex-husband!Simon "Ghost" Riley Part 2

Part 1, Part 2, (Part 3??)

Part 1 was many months ago.. oopsie! Been doing a lot of reading recently and HOLY FUCK I LOVE THE TWISTED SERIES BY ANA HUANG. I JUST FINISHED IT, CAN'T WAIT TO READ THE KING OF SINS SERIES (btw I finished it a long time ago, this draft just never made it out). Do y'all like want some stuff implemented from there, here? I'M THINKING KING OF GREED? 👀

Also.. This was supposed to be my birthday special, but what happened was I became busy and never got around to making a definitive ending.. but don't worry, this isn't where the series ends.

My goodness the taglist on this one almost doubled, to anyone who doesn't want to be part of the tags, please tell me so that I can remove you because this will be the official list and it's still open for more people who wanna see this series.

Warning: Too lazy to proof read since I have so much to do, please tell me any autocorrected, misspelled words in the replies so I can change it.. 😭

My CoD Masterlist

My Simon Riley x You Playlist

Simon sulked, his forehead resting on the soft mattress. His back and neck were aching yet he couldn't get the fear and worry out his head. You clear the fog in your head, your body felt sore despite the semi-comfortable bed you were laying on.

You groan softly, forcing yourself to sit-up, where the fuck was your daughter? Was she safe? In a panic you looked around the room, you let out a long, deep sigh as you saw her laying on the couch. Long blond hair splayed around messily on the pillow with a blanket that was barely hanging onto her body, she looked so peaceful.

You felt movement next to you, Simon woke up. He looks up to you, in a bit of a shock. He didn't say a word before holding you and guiding you back down to lay on the slightly adjusted bed, back against the pillow he fixed behind you, you wanted to fight it and protest but his strength was god-like on your still weak and not well rested body, your throat was dry to the point of pain and obvious discomfort.

Simon knows you better than you know yourself, resentment settled in your blood, felt more than the amount than when you missed him. He took the tightly sealed water bottle on the table next to your bed and pries it open, holding the bottle's opening to your lips.

You took a big gulp with his guide but you gently took the bottle off his hand into your own, your fingers brushing his a bit in the process, basically telling him you could do it yourself. A few more gulps down and your throat was eased, you handed back the water bottle to Simon.

He was fidgeting with his hands, his fingers rubbing and grazing the spot your fingers accidentally touched. You looked down with dismay as he takes the bottle from you and closes it.

Was he so disgusted and revolted by your touch that he's brushing off his fingers from it? You knew you didn't end it good terms but you had no idea he hated you that much. Maybe not.. are you overthinking? Probably.

It was silent, awkward, just hearing the IV drip and the beeps of the heart monitor. Simon wanted to say something so bad but what do you say to the love of your life who you've hurt severely and regret it because you still love her and want to be in her life again? Mouthful, he knows.

Simon had no right to you anymore, he couldn't even scold you and tell you to take better care of yourself anymore because that's what he used to do, it's way too familiar. He couldn't even touch you without him thinking it would make you uncomfortable.

You feel it, rather see it more but Simon wanted to die in the moment. Heavy breaths and clearly restless eyes, disheveled hair..

"How do you feel..?" He said, he looks elsewhere as he wanted to avoid the way your eyes chose to settle on him..

"I don't know..? I don't know how to process all this but there's no physical pain, just nausea.." you said, he got up to call a nurse and alert them that you're awake. He chose to step out while the doctor did the regular routine of checking everything.

"Momma?" You turn to your left at the couch where your daughter was sat up, rubbing her eyes.. she got off it and immediately ran to you, "I'm glad you're okay now.." she said which never failed to make you smile with how caring she tended to be..

"What happened bubs? Momma doesn't remember much except for fainting.." you asked the bundle of joy as you tried to piece back what had happened beforehand..

"I called dada when you fell, momma. I was so scared, I was shouting but you won't wake up.. dada took so long to get there but when he did, he asked me to go in the car while carried you inside to take you here.." she said, you took her off the ground and placed her at your side, embracing her little body.

"I'm sorry bubs, momma should've taken better care of herself.. if I had, I wouldn't have been so sick to the point of unconsciousness.." you felt so guilty, if only it had been under better circumstance then you would've been able to take care of yourself better and not put your child through what must've been a moment that should've set her in a panic.

"It's okay, momma. I'm a big girl now, I can take care of you like you take care of me.." her sweet little voice paused for a moment.

"Momma, what does unconscious mean?" She asked, you laughed, forgetting that she doesn't know the meaning of certain words yet..

Taglist: @wishesforyou @puff0o0 @simping4konig @simp4konig @blingblong55 @azereus @rustic-guitar-notes @callsignsnowpunisher @09maruchan @anonymuslydumb @skeletalgoats @icarustypicalfall @connorsui @capuccino192 @miss-gms-and-the-rotten-womb @celestialhole @the-second-sage @starryylies @everlastingmoonlightsworld @keiva1000 @iexiam @drewsmusee @konigceo @duck-a-doodle @darkhorrorwhispers @cyphah @ash-tarte @linaangel @waves-against-a-cliff @fruitymoonbeams-blog @venussdovess @mactavishsgfandwife @thisisaphrodite @holyfeck @avalkyrieofparis @mymelx @ssc7514 @lilaclazer @fandomwarrior98 @spontaneousleo

[dipperscavern]

Need more vampire!cregan thoughts pls🙏 doesn't have to be dirty but imo I need to know about how he bites his wife (while railing her)- 📑 anon

okay ive just had a premonition about this (my eyes rolled into the back of my head and i satrted floating)

i think even after its well established that cregan's free to bite you - especially during sex - he never does it without warning. its the same routine every time, no matter if he's actually feeding or just biting, or while cuddled in bed with or sheathed inside of you.

he trails his lips up to the place he plans to sink his teeth, kissing your skin and slowing down any other ministrations of his in the process. its intentional; he wants you to feel him coming - always giving you enough time to pull away if you wanted. you never do, of course.

once he comes to the place he plans to break your pretty skin at, he starts with pressing a final kiss to the area. except this time, his lips don't come back up.

usually, by now, the excitement and anticipation of it has sped your heart considerably. he can hear its quick-paced rhythm - can hear the rushing sound of flowing blood, too. and although he can (and does) appreciate such a thing as the racing of sweet crimson, his unoccupied hand always does something to calm you; to remind you that cregan is still here. a caress of skin, a cup of your cheek - you respond all the same, pursuing the comfort he offers by favoring into him.

it doesn't seem nearly as long of a process when it actually happens, because as cregan cups your cheek, you feel the graze of teeth on your skin.

he's quite gentle in this routine. always a first graze of dull teeth before the sharp sting of fangs. the seconds that pass between the two feelings are another opportunity to change your mind and pull away. you always have that option - whenever, wherever.

the intrusion of fangs always make you gasp, whether it be the shock of pain or your nerves in disbelief their worrying of half-expected pain is a sentiment that's come to a crest. they catch up quickly, however. action absorbs anxiety.

if ever asked to describe it, you're not sure you'd have the words.

pain, like all things, is a spectrum. quite almost everybody understands this, yet somehow it always remains unspoken. the kind that comes with feeding isn't the same as the kind experienced when stabbed or shocked, no. those are the kinds whose hold you always, whether on purpose or not, try and yank away from.

cregan's teeth bring the same amount of discomfort found only in picking skin, or walking with a small leg wound. it hurts, surely, but you don't try to pull free from its grasp. this the pain that has carved an empty space next to you, that from the time of your birth to your fleshly departure you spend countless hours learning to sit beside when filled.

and, truthfully, the pain is dull. a slow throb as blood does its job without second thought, rushing to fill the wound, no matter how inflicted. but there is - undoubtedly - a certain pleasure that's found, too. it aches, but it also clouds. if the feeling of steady fog filling the silent earth, so much so that you cannot see your hand outstretched in front of you, could be not only captured, but embodied, it would be this. it would be how your lashes flutter shut as your body fills with static, feeling like, if not careful, you could follow your redness - right into the mouth of your greedy husband. and, gods, is it exhilarating. it is an exhilarating feeling - to give.

and the feeling of taking even more so.

but cregan is careful to not succumb to that feeling entirely, lest he get too carried away. it doesn't require much effort, thoughts of you are more than enough to override even the taste of blood in his mouth.

and that dance - of push and pull - of take and give, is one inexplicable thing. is such that is inexplainable using the limitations provided by the mere common tongue. and so it remains incomprehensible.

[newttxt]

hi quip! i really like your one piece comics and i am curious how you do them! i'm not good at comics and want to be better at drawing them! how do you learn how to make comics?

thank you!

uh oh... im afraid u have caught me at the perfect crossroad of "bored at work" and "unrelated task ive been meaning to do but keep putting off."

this is long. i hope you like reading (and grayscale progress pics). and of course!!! disclaimer before we begin that this is just how I, personally draw comics. there is no "right way."

quip's comic-making process!

Switching my typing to make this more legible...

My process can kinda be broken down into 6 steps:

Brainstorming

Thumbnailing

Sketching

Panels & Text

Lines

Tones/Colors

1. Brainstorming

My brain is a leaky sieve on a good day, so I sloppily jot down ideas in my phone notes the moment I have them. This helps me when it's time to draw too, because if I feel art blocked, I can look through old concepts and see what catches my interest.

Otherwise, I love drawing for other people's writing. :) And if worst comes to worst, doing manga/comic page redraws in my style teaches me new things every time.

Once I have my idea, I'll usually make a bulletpoint list of "plot points" or "story beats" I want. Then I plan the comic with this format that I've adapted from a tutorial I read once. I'm going to use my most recent comic (original comic post) as an example.

I start in the third column, writing notes of what I'd want to see in each panel. I also include the dialogue (in this case, I didn't have to write the dialogue! it's from the fanfic linked in the original comic post!). I usually write the whole name like [Luffy:], but at this point I've drawn so much of these guys, just the first letter works.

I like to handwrite these notes to get an idea for how much text I'm putting in a single panel.

After I describe all the panels, I go back and separate them into pages. I can't tell you how to know how many panels to a page. It's whatever works for you. I just kinda know about how big each panel will be, and so I can feel when I'm probably running out of space. (Also. You can change things later. I don't in this example, but I add/drop pages/panels all the time.)

2. Thumbnailing

Thumbnailing—as the name suggests—should be done tiny. Too tiny to accidentally get sucked into details.

This is about marking down blobs where items/characters go, and figuring out the paneling. I'll draw and redraw these a bunch of times too.

This is also the most time-consuming/brain-working part for me. If I were in a zine that did progress percentage, I'd try to finish thumbnailing around the 50% mark (but I'm also a moderately fast artist, so your mileage may vary).

I think the terrible quality makes them charming, actually. I really like how silly they look. :')))

I will add, when you draw your "page" rectangle, make sure it's the same proportions as your actual canvas for the final image. You want an accurate idea of how much space each panel will take up, especially if you have a lot of text.

3. Sketching

This is my most recent change to my usual workflow, and it's saving me a lot of time. I make my thumbnails a bit bigger (each one about half the size of the final canvas), and I sketch these basic body forms right over them.

It just helps give me placement for my actual lines!

I usually draw these in a paleish color so I can lower the opacity and not get distracted by them while lining. The random darker parts are to either help keep two forms separate (like when two characters have their limbs all over) or to better define sections that were too sloppy/poorly proportioned.

I also think this helps my poses stay looser, because I have more dramatic/wriggly shapes that aren't too bogged down by proportions yet.

Sidenote: I CANNOT show this here, but sometimes this is when I take videos. Of myself. I prop my phone camera up and shoot a video of me acting each panel. :/// It looks really dumb, but it also shows me fun body language ideas like hand gestures, expressions, weight distribution, etc. Just pretend you're an overdramatic cartoon character, and try not to worry about your roommates or mother walking in on you doing odd things. (You can also use the video for anatomy reference later, but I usually just capture the vibe and don't try to copy the actual video frame.)

4. Panels & Text

Oh, boy. So, the panels are usually just straight lines (though it's fun to make creative exceptions, like a round panel to mimic looking through a spyglass), but there are some fancy rules that I don't strictly adhere to.

I believe (I have no technical training in this. Take everything I say with a grain of salt) the vertical gaps (between two side-by-side panels) should all be a consistent width and the horizontal gaps (between two panels on top of each other) should be another. The vertical ones? Should be thinner? Because you want the eye to easily glide between them, whereas the horizontal gaps should be a visual barrier to keep you from jumping ahead. Just something I've vaguely noticed.

There are lots of fun "default layouts" you can look up. Or keep it a consistent grid. I think it's fun to sometimes have characters/objects sticking out of panels and overlapping others. This is just a matter of taste, creativity, and inspiration. (Read Witch Hat Atelier... It has some of my favorite paneling...)

You may also notice I have already done the speech bubbles. This is, to me, a crucial step. This helps me catch early if I don't have enough room for all the words. It also lets me plan the art in each panel with the speech bubbles in mind. There's nothing worse than working really hard on a panel, and then you realize there's no room for the bubbles.

I also try to lay them out in a way that guides the eye! Even without art, can people tell where to go next? Better yet, if I want people to look at panels out of order (aka not left to right, in my case), can I use the speech bubble path to make them? Here's just a vague example of what I mean.

As an added bonus, doing speech bubbles early also allows me to be lazy! :) Ignore the comic; I'm not supposed to post it yet oops,, There's a whole lot of drawing to do on each comic page, and I am not wasting my time on stuff that will be covered up. So yes, if I hide my bubbles, there are a lot of unfinished lines trailing off into nothing. (As a bonus, if there's a part of a character you're struggling with—and it won't look weird to do so—you can move speech bubbles to just hide the problem area yayyy)

Making the actual bubbles could be their own whole tutorial, tbh, but there are some general guidelines I use.

Zoom out when you choose your font size. You want to know how it will look to the average reader, so it isn't super teeny tiny or way too big. You generally want to keep the same text size for all your pages/bubbles.

When I draw bubbles, I try to size them about one vertical letter height (and some change) around the words [left side]. This isn't always the case though, because humorously large or funny shaped text bubbles can convey different feelings [right side].

On Procreate, I set my bubble lines to Reference and just drag-and-drop the white fill on a separate layer below the lines. (Remember to turn Reference back off again when you're done, or your fill bucket won't work right when you're drawing.)

To get the white outlines I use to keep the bubbles from cluttering up the art, I literally just Gaussian blur an all-white copy of the lines + fills... and then I copy and merge it 5 times until it's opaque enough. This is a terrible way to do it, but it works for me. :')

5. Lines

This is the part that I can't tell you how to do. I literally just. Draw right over my wacky sketched body forms. Boom. Comic drawn.

I'll make three suggestions:

Don't focus on making every panel perfect. Give a little extra love to big ones or ones you want people to linger on. Otherwise, know that people are typically speeding through the art. It's way more important to focus on storytelling than art technique. In my opinion, a good story that's told well will always be better than a beautiful one told poorly. (Some comics are beautiful AND well-written... Alas, I am just a hobbyist who needs to get the ideas out of my head at top speed.)

Put your background lines on a different layer. Put your foreground lines on a different layer too, if you have those. Basically, I try to keep the main part of each panel (usually a character or object) on my lines layer so I can erase background/foreground/etc lines to ensure clarity/focus.

You can make background lines lighter colors too. I have too many numbers sorry. (1) Background. The stuff that's farthest away. Lightest lines. Few details; more focused on shapes and the suggestion of a background (I'm not good at backgrounds). (2) Midground. Same distance away as the characters are. Lines can be black. (3) Also midground, and also the same distance away. But they're very detailed, so I lighten them so they aren't so distracting. (4) The characters. Black lines for focus. For people who haven't seen the comic, I swear they are just hugging. This is SFW. D:

6. Tones/Colors

Do not. Do NOT ask me. I don't understand colors. I hate working with them, but I try because I want to improve. I hate doing anything beyond the simplest grayscale shading. Please go elsewhere for your coloring/tone advice. This is how my color picker looks 95% of the time. I have pre-set "percentages" of black that I got by lowering the opacity of a black layer and just color picking it. I don't even know the exact percentages I used. Good luck out there. Be better than me.

7. Sharing

This is a bonus step that I didn't mention earlier, but it's actually the most important of all of them.

You need a friend. Or maybe a groupchat or discord. A family member or coworker if you're really close like that. I don't know.

Find SOMEWHERE you can spam wips and be cheered on. Drawing comics takes a while, especially if you're trying to tell longer stories than I'd dare to attempt. If I don't force someone to praise me for every line I draw, I shrivel up and die.

Also if and when you post online, add alt text. I'll admit I'm the first person to complain and drag my feet on this, and I literally use a screenreader myself when my eyes hurt (strong prescription glasses wearer). Comics should be accessible, because stories are fun and everyone should be able to enjoy them.

***

Learning???

And I guess lastly, how do you learn to make comics? Two steps: 1) read them and 2) make them. This is the tragedy of creating things.

1) Reading them: I grew up reading comic strips, western serialized comics, and webcomics. I've always loved graphic novels too. Then in late middle school, I started reading manga (Death Note and Haikyuu were my first two), and now I'm trying to read more webtoons (sorry im so slow bree)!

I also... mass-consume doujinshi, thanks to proxy mailing services and bilingual friends/Google Translate/knowing some Korean. (I have an entire bookshelf of doujin, actually,,)

The thing is, it's not usually enough to just read comics. You also need to be thinking. :/ I notice paneling, comic devices, clever comedic timing, etc. as I go. It's just a lot of studying/learning while also enjoying the story.

2) Making them: You just have to start. :( Even if you think they're "bad." My first comics were actually just drawings placed randomly all over the page, connected by speech bubbles (yay... I was already practicing how to place bubbles to lead the eye around the page...). I was going to post a pic here, but I'm a coward. Backscroll my account and you can find some older ones though.

I also know my art in general improved dramatically when I did ten comics in ten weeks for my friend's fic. Don't do this. It hurt my hands/wrists. But do practice in moderation.

***

If you actually read all that... I hope it made even a modicum of sense. And maybe it was even helpful? Just know at the end of the day, there is literally no right way to draw a comic.

And if you aren't ready to go for it yet, you can start by just adding a couple speech bubbles to your illustrations or doodles! It's a way to add storytelling and dialogue writing to things you may already be making.

Yay. I love comics. :))))

[icycoldninja]

hey ive been wanting to request you for so long but i was too scared lol.. i like your dmc stuff and i want to request a vergil x reader enemies to lovers story please. i dont lmow what else to ask for you can just do whatever as long as its really juicy and they really hate but desire each other. you can make it spicy too if you want. 💙

Aww, don't be scared! Ninjas only bite when they're completely out of options anyway. I chose to keep things clean because I felt it would suit the situation more. Hope you enjoy, and thanks for requesting! 💜 💜

Blood boil (Vergil x Reader enemies to lovers)

Ooh, that damn Vergil Sparda, how he made your blood boil.

Every time you guys went on a mission together, he always made it a point to show you up by actively getting in the way and stealing your kill. Then, he'd gloat at you.

He'd never say anything outright, but you could see it in his eyes, the was he sneered with his eyebrows while simultaneously glaring down the bridge of his stupid nose at you. It was infuriating, but you couldn't say anything because that would just give him the satisfaction of knowing he got under your skin, which made you even more angrier than you would have been if you just stayed silent, which you did.

But GODDAMMIT, why did Vergil always have to be so damn perfect at everything?! Why was he always trying to show he was better than you in front of everyone you knew, and worse yet, why was he succeeding? Sure, he might be half demon or something like that, but that doesn't make him an instant genius capable of any task! He hunted devils faster and more efficiently than you, always beat you when you were training, was the first at the door when deliveries came, was the first one to the car and also the first one inside, he even called shotgun before you even thought about it—whenever a competition arose, no matter what you did, Vergil always came out on top. And he always rubbed it in your face with that nasty sneer. Fuck him.

But then there were those times when Vergil didn't seem like a complete jackass, such as when you sustained a particularly painful injury during a fight. He would be there, swift as the wind itself, already working on patching you up and getting you to a safe place. He'd never say anything, and you could never put aside your pride long enough to thank him, but his actions spoke louder than his lack of words, and yours (you would later make/buy him lunch or dinner as a thank you) made up for your lack of spoken gratitude.

Ok, so maybe you don't hate Vergil as much as you would like to believe, but surely he hates you! Just look at how he treats you, always opening doors before you can reach them, grabbing things he knows you want right off the shelves, only to decide he doesn't want them anymore and toss them into your arms later. He always makes you switch seats with Dante whenever you're watching movies together because he knows you hate sitting next to him, and he's always following you around—borderline psycho behavior—and always happens to be there whenever shady figures show up at your door.

Hmm.

Maybe he doesn't hate you as much as you think he does either.

Or, maybe he does, and you're just delusional.

Damn it all! Damn him!

Your train of thought was cut short when you rounded the corner (you had been taking a walk to clear your head and inadvertently got more worked up in the process) and almost bumped into Vergil, who was no doubt shadowing you again.

"Oh hey," You said, more sulkily than you intended. "What are you doing here?"

"I was just strolling," Vergil answered stiffly. "And you?"

"The same, more or less," You admitted, with a sigh. Somehow, you both wordlessly concluded that it would be safe to continue your stroll together.

And so, you walked together, not making eye contact, nor small talk, nor any kind of physical contact in the slightest, for about ten minutes. As a large bird of unidentifiable breed sailed overhead, screeching rather irritatingly, you turned and mumbled,

"Nice weather, huh?"

"Indeed," Vergil agreed, shifting his gaze from you, to the trees ahead of him, to the group of people crossing the street, to what looked like a stray cat pawing at someone's mailbox, then back to you.

"How's Nero?" You asked half heartedly, since you didn't know what else to say.

"Doing well," Said Vergil in a voice you could barely hear.

"Ah," Was all you could say after that.

The two of you kept walking, looking at everything around you except each other, but after a few minutes, you found your eyes drifting towards Vergil's hand, which swung back and forth slightly as he walked. It looked rough and war-torn, but despite that, you kind of wanted to hold it. It looked meaty, and firm, and generally seemed fun to squeeze. Tentatively, you reached out and tried to wrap your fingers around his, expecting him to recoil in terror at your touch. To your great surprise, he didn't; once your hand closed around his, he clamped his fingers down on yours like a vice and refused to let go, even after you pulled.

"Vergil...?" You began, confused and slightly afraid. Vergil did not answer. Instead, he glanced down the bridge of his nose at you, but not in that prideful manner you were accustomed to receiving. Instead, there was warmth in his eyes; a gentle smile on his face, a smile that sent jolts of electricity through your entwined hands, up your arm, and into your brain, instantaneously causing you to realize this might be love.

Oh God.

You were in love.

With him, that rat bastard.

Well, ok, maybe he wasn't that much of a bastard...but still.

"Vergil...?" You repeated, this time shakier in tone. Once again, Vergil answered you with another electrifying smile, but this time, he also gave your arm a good tug, pulling you closer to him, coincidentally causing your head to bump against his chest, where it stayed. Truth be told, it wasn't so bad. You honestly wouldn't mind staying like this for a little while longer.

You hadn't changed your mind, though, Vergil still made your blood boil, just...in a...different context.

[kkoga]

Pretty eyes, jeung yoonchae x IVE!fem!reader

A/N : this is my own little valentine special, so sorry it's a bit late. Had to work my ass off for the collab, and js so yk i also have a dani angst fic in the works so def watch out for that one

Warning ! Mentions of homophobia, foul words, definitely NOT proofread

Disclaimer ! Everything written is pure fiction. No person is an accurate representation of themselves.

Now playing ! Pretty eyes by zehdi

Wc — i don't know ok. I pulled this out my ass. Its not even valentines anymore. It was supposed to be a val special. Watch me jump off the cliff.

Divider creds : @steviebbboi

Yoonchae hesitantly holds hands with Y/n. Even though they were holding hands below the table, it was still incredibly risky. Considering the fact that both girls were idols, and from different groups no less, would completely destroy their career.

Yoonchae hated this. The korean hated the hiding, the concealing. She wants to show off her girlfriend to the world, to shout and tell them the one and only person she loved was none other than Y/n L/n.

But the Korean knew she had no choice. Gay people were gravely frowned upon in Korea. The girl doesn't even know whether or not her own parents would support her.

Y/n was even more popular than Yoonchae. The girl was a member of the famous girlgroup IVE, a group every junior admired.

The two had initially met at an award show. Y/n, ever so confident, approached the Korean first. Yoonchae was incredibly shy at first, thinking, "There is no way Y/n of IVE is talking to me right now."

But after a couple weeks, the two girls had grown close. Too close, for Yoonchae's liking. After a few months, Yoonchae noticed her heartbeat was too fast around the girl, her words almost always getting jumbled up whenever within the vicinity of her bestfriend. It was pathetic, really. Y/n never let's her live it down.

Yoonchae had a feeling she knew why she felt that way, but growing up in a traditional house, the girl tried convincing herself it wasn't true. She had nothing against gay people of course, but the internalised homophobia the Korean had to grow up with was starting to hit her hard.

Yoonchae ran to an old friend for help, who had calmly asked her two questions.

"Alright, let me ask you two questions. Would the world end if you came out as gay?" Yoonchae was weirded out by the question.

"What? That doesn't even make sense.." Her friend sighed.

"I didn't mean it literally, Yoons. I meant would it feel like your world was ending?" Yoonchae almost immediately answered.

"But my— my parents wouldn't... and the public, good god, my fans. I can't be—" Her friend then interrupted her.

"Now imagine Y/n with someone else. Someone who most definitely isn't you. Would you be able to bear that? Does that seem like it's worse than your world 'ending'?" Yoonchae paused, her expression filled with every negative emotion possible. Anger, sadness, and confusion were all neatly displayed on her face.

".... yes." Her friend smiled, content with Yoonchae's answer.

"There's your answer."

After the conversation, Yoonchae had taken a day off. To think about herself, and her feelings. It was definitely a big thing to process, the fact that she had apparently never liked men. The Korean had always questioned where the "spark" her friends always mentioned was. But now that she had thought about it, the girl now knew why.

It took a while, but eventually, Yoonchae had finally accepted herself for who she was. However, the Korean still come out to her members. She wasn't ready yet.

But now, after successfully confessing to Y/n and having been together for the past two years, the Korean finally considered herself ready.

And today, she was going to ask Y/n if she would like to meet her members. Not as a friend, but as her partner, as the love of her life.

As Yoonchae got in Y/n's newly acquired car, one she got right after earning her license, the Korean took it as a good time to ask.

"Y/n? Can i ask you something?" The girl was nervous. What if she said no?

"Yes Yoons? What's up?"

"I.. i want to introduce you. To my members, I mean." Y/n was shocked, but excited. Extremely excited.

"Really?"

"Really. I'm ready, Y/n. I want them to know I have a beautiful wonderful girlfriend who takes care of me every single day." Y/n, so enamoured by Yoonchae's braveness, leans over for an excited and cheeky kiss.

"Love you soo much Yoon!"

Yoonchae warmly smiles, "Love you too hun."

It was finally the day. Today, Y/n was going to introduce herself to Yoonchae's members as her girlfriend. Well, not immediately, but eventually.

Yoonchae had carefully planned out the afternoon. First, she would get her members to warm up to Y/n. Then during dinner, finally tell them something— or rather someone she's been keeping a secret for far too long.

Y/n nervously rings the doorbell, adjusting her collar just before Manon, one of Yoonchae's bandmates, answer the door.

"Hey girl so nice to meet you, Yoonchae's friend right?" Y/n nods, and returns Manon's smile.

"Come in girl, she's like in her room right now." Y/n hesitantly walks into the house and is met with Megan and Daniela on the couch, Sophia and Lara apparently in the kitchen, and Yoonchae exiting her room.

"Y/n! Hi! Sorry, I had to grab my switch. Let's play now." Yoonchae shot Y/n a cheeky smile, one she undoubtedly fell for.

"Oh you are going DOWN! Also hi, nice to meet you guys." Megan and Daniela sweetly greet the girl, finding the difference of her demeanour with them and Yoonchae silly.

It has been four hours since you and Yoonchae have started playing on her switch, the game projected on the TV. An hour in, Megan and Lara had joined you and Yoonchae's games of Mario Cart.

Yoonchae couldn't help the warm smile slowly creep up her face. It was nice. Seeing you interact with her members was just so— natural.

Sophia and Lara were peacefully sat on the couch, Manon taking pictures in the corner of the livingroom. It was as if Y/n was already a part of them, a part of their little family. And Yoonchae loved it.

By now, it was already dark outside. Dinnertime was approaching, and Yoonchae had to prepare herself. They liked her so far, nothing bad is gonna happen.

As they all ate on the dinner table, Manon started a conversation.

"I still can't believe you're friends with Y/n from IVE Yoonchae, How did you guys even meet?" The couple looked at each other, a cheeky smile on both their faces.

"Oh, we met because of a common friend. That's all." Manon nodded in response, and Lara looked at Yoonchae and Y/n a little suspiciously.

As they all finished off their food, Yoonchae had very suddenly asked them all to sit on the couch, which confused her members. But they obeyed nonetheless, curious as to what their maknae had to say.

They all lined up on the couch in order, Manon, Daniela, Lara, Megan, and Sophia. While Yoonchae and Y/n stood in front of the five.

"I just wanted to say..." Yoonchae said as she held your hand, doing so in a romantic manner. Lara's eyes shot up, as if saying "I FUCKING KNEW IT!"

"I'm dating Y/n. I like girls. The whole point of today was to get you all to warm up to her." Yoonchae wasn't sure how her members would react, but she was pretty sure at least Megan and Manon were gay, so it wouldn't be that bad.

Barrages of questions were shot from Daniela and Manon's mouth, and Lara asking for her 10 dollars from Megan could be heard too. But all Sophia did was send the couple a warm smile. The leader kindly asked them all to shut the fuck up, and after the rest did as she said, she calmly and proudly told the couple.

"I'm proud. Thank you both for trusting us, and congrats on your relationship. You don't have to give us all the information about your relationship now— you can do that as the night progresses. Let's just enjoy the night, yeah? You should sleep over Y/n." Yoonchae teared up, and Y/n did too, thankful the Katz were accepting.

Yoonchae leaned in to Y/n's ear, and whispered, "Love you." Y/n giggled like a little kid, and gave her a little cheek kiss, which resulted in reactions from the rest of Katseye.

[fereldanwench]

i'm finally starting to feel human again and i actually have the time to do an update

so um

the update:

ya girl is diabetic (idk what type yet tho bc doctors are clowns)

so this week i learned that birth control side effects and fucking diabetic keto acidosis apparently have some overlapping symptoms lmao

all the issues i was having? the leg cramps, fatigue, shortness of breath--it's because my blood was literally poisoning me! i was also peeing a lot, but this honestly didn't register with me as being that abnormal because i have always had to pee a lot because i always drink a lot of water. i was also losing weight, but i was trying to lose weight, so again, didn't register as a bad thing

diabetes was obviously not what was my first assumption was given that all this also perfectly aligned with my birth control issues (i honestly thought i was going to have a blood clot or something but everything was fine on that front, fortunately), but it was something that was kind of at the back of my mind because my brother is also diabetic. he was misdiagnosed as a type 2 at the beginning of 2019, but after he couldn't get it into remission despite losing almost half his body weight, he found out that he's actually the adult-onset type 1 or "1.5" type of diabetic

despite me telling the doctors this, i was literally told they "don't care about the type" because my blood sugar was super high and the initial treatment is going to be insulin injections regardless. i'm trying to keep my stress levels at a minimum right now so i will forgo a rant but needless to say, NO ONE LIKED THAT RESPONSE!!! (my brother was especially pissed--he could basically be a blueprint for what i went through but why listen to patients when they answer your questions about family history when you can just ignore them!)

so yeah, i'm on fast-acting insulin injections 3x/day with meals and long-acting insulin at night, and a very carefully curated diet with lots of veggies and lean protein. my glucose levels are steadily getting lower and i am feeling much, much better, but my sleep is all fucked up from the hospital visit (on top of the time change) and i'm still a little light-headed if i move too fast

my follow-up is friday so obviously i will be asking for the tests to determine type because what the actual fuck and can hopefully fine-tune my treatment

emotionally/mentally i'm... fine. ish. lmao. seeing that my brother has gone through this and seeing how well he's been able to manage it and still live a very full life (including traveling a lot) i think has done a lot to prevent this from feeling too scary and overwhelming. he and i are very close too--he actually picked me up from the hospital so he could give me some 'betes starter gear--so i have a good support system here

but the crying comes in waves, lmao. i had a nice good breakdown last night. not knowing the type is kind of delaying my ability to process it, too, because if it's type 2, i will put this bitch into remission!!! but if it's type 1, that's gonna be a lot harder to cope with, i think

i really get most emotional when i tell other people about it bc i immediately feel the need to assure them i'm fine, lmao. and for some reason other people telling me i'll be fine also makes me cry so it's just kjdfhgjdkfgdfgdfg

anyway, i wanted to give an update since i said i would and i know i certainly appreciate it when my friends who get hospitalized let me know they're okay lmao, but despite my usual oversharing tendencies, i actually don't really want to talk about this here! at least not right now. something about it feels very personal to me, idk. maybe it's because this is such a high-judgement disease and i just don't want to fucking hear shit about it!!

and for my final thought, i would just like to say that potassium IV drips fucking suck balls, and my arms are so goddamn sore and bruised from all the stabs and pokes and prods and squeezes

[ducktracy]

i hope you dont mind me asking; but do you have any general tips for getting into/starting storyboarding? or anything on fighting perfectionism when you draw??? im having a hard time just actually drawing to begin with because of it and its gotten worse and worse recently and its just... really disheartening ghsjdkmgs- ive been combing through bsky for production art for the day the earth blew up and looking through storyboards in general has always really inspired me; the way that it doesnt Need to be perfect and just needs to like, convey the absolute basics and get the idea across has always been really comforting in a weird roundabout way? if that makes sense hdsjkmgsd-

HEY THERE!! i don't mind at all, i'm so flattered you'd come to me!

to answer the first part of your question, i'm going to link to some posts (here and here) where i've answered the same question. NOT because i don't respect your time (trust me, i hate being like "eh just go with all the others and look at this" LOL), but because i trust Past Me to have answered it a bit more clearly and clearheadedly than Present-Me, who would just be rambling trying to think of what Past Me has said. so i hope these are helpful!

THE SECOND PART OF YOUR QUESTION! you are both asking the right and wrong person, because i struggle TREMENDOUSLY with this as well! right in that i can offer empathy/share my experiences, wrong in that i still don't quite have a cure-all and it's something i'm struggling with right at this very second :')

but, as someone with debilitating OCD and perfectionism (to the point where it extends to even the most inconsequential of tasks and habits completely unrelated to art--even/especially things i enjoy doing!!), i struggle HARD with this. and my director turned me onto a bit of a lifesaver that's streamlined my storyboarding process tremendously: THE CHICKEN SCRATCH METHOD.

it's exactly as it sounds. just churn out the quickest, most juvenile scribbles imaginable. you're not thinking about drawing at all. it's just to get something down on paper--starting is always one of the most difficult parts for me, and once i have something down, even if it is GODAWFUL, i feel like i've broken the ice a bit and can carve deeper.

i'm linking (and posting screenshots) from this WIP animatic i posted last week--more than half of it is chickenscratch, and me doing exactly what i do for work! this is how i start every single storyboard. complete 4 year old level scribbles. even Porky here is a bit too fancy, you can see i gave him (and Daffy's face) construction lines out of habit haha. you don't need to do that yet!!

but, also, you can see that earlier on in the animatic, where i've begun to clean it up (i call them "drawovers"), it looks like my normal art style!

i also again recommend actually watching the video, because the motion is the important thing here--you can see how articulated my drawovers are in drawing and acting in comparison to the chickenscratch bits, which are a bit more broad but still convey a general idea

what i also tend to do is chickenscratch my chickenscratches--for my boards, i usually will doodle the broad acting ideas elsewhere, and then transfer those ideas onto my board. it helps with that feeling of easing in and doesn't make me feel as suffocated by a blank screen. i will say that i've been working on excising this process entirely, as it's sort of unnecessary and maybe more of an omission of my own lack of artistic confidence HAHA--i'm trying to get there! but it helps with the artistic brain demons and makes getting started easier, and that's the important thing

and, again, these are a bit fancier than what i usually do: here's some old thumbs for an actual section i boarded for work

it's also very good for someone like me--i'm an extraordinarily detail-oriented person, but i really struggle with the bigger picture. this commonly bites me in the butt when i'm storyboarding, as sometimes i have difficulty visualizing how a sequence will flow in the grand scheme of things. and since my entire job is being An Artist Who Draws Images In Sequential Order, That Go Into A Sequence, That Relies On Every Little Part To Be Working, Because It Is A Sequence, that's not very good! and so chicken scratch helps exactly with that. you're communicating the main idea. you're putting the foundation down, and you're able to get a vague idea of how the ideas and sequences flow together.

HOWEVER. i will say that's about the most advice i can give before it delves into "if you find the answer, lemme know" HAHA. my boards for work are stupidly clean and should not be as stupidly clean as they are. it's something i've been trying to work on for years--i still struggle with getting into board artist/animator brain vs illustrator brain, and a lot of times i'll have a very pretty drawing, but it isn't functional at all and i'll have to throw it out. and it's my own fault! THIS IS SUCH A HARSH METAPHOR and i said it once to my director before being like "wait wow wtf is wrong with me for saying this" LMAO but it's still the most apt way i can describe it. clearly gotta work on my artistic confidence. but in regards to this, i've said "a polished turd is still a turd" and there is hopefully a much kinder way of getting that point across, but yes--clean drawings are not the end all and be all of boarding and animation! in fact, in my experience, they cause more harm than good! i've been trying very hard to unlearn it, it's been a very difficult and taxing and frustrating process that's soured a lot of my already meager artistic confidence--but that means i'm growing and learning.

a common mantra we try to recite is "clear, not clean". and the TDTEBU boards (which, aren't they amazing??) is the very definition of that! i'm trying to beat that into myself more and more. likewise, working on the Sponge shows is a bit of a special circumstance since the animators directly trace off of our boards; what we draw is what ends up on screen. that includes mistakes. there's definitely a higher amount of pressure, especially compared to feature boarding where there seems to be a lot more leeway for looseness. so i'm maybe coming from SOMEwhere here HAHA, but yes, clear, not clean!!

i say all of this knowing i'm going to clean up my pig and duck animatic and have it be as clean as my boards for work, sort of defeating the entire purpose :') i still have a lot to learn and internalize, obviously! but i hope this at least offers some camaraderie and the understanding that you are NOT ALONE! i struggle with Perfectionism Paralysis with every single task i ever do, i'm much less fond of my art than i come off, etc... but i'm working on it and i know we'll both do great!!!

i hope this could be helpful, or at least reassuring!! thank you so much for coming to me, and i wish you the best of luck! you've got this!!

[asvtrials]

LUNCH [one.]

Navarro x fem!reader

minors dni!

summary: After a rather nasty breakup with Bjorn you try to avoid the group as much as possible and you're doing a good job until you find yourself in Corbelan IV with your best friend. warnings: angst, not proofread, maybe ooc, swearing, part two will contain smut. a/n: This fic is very much inspired by LUNCH by Billie Eilish specifically the following lyrics "I've said it all before, but I'll say it again, I'm interested in more than just bein' your friend. I don't wanna break it, just want it to bend. Do you know how to bend?" sooo... w/c: 2360

You tried to ignore the continuous vibrations of your wristwatch, continuing to move away from the truck, the rough handles of the box scraping your palms. You let the box hit the ground with a loud thud, the annoying buzzing sound made you groan 

It's been almost a month since you and Bjorn broke up but the hurtful words that were thrown your way still stung you. Who are you kidding, you said some nasty bullshit too.

It was always like that with Bjorn. Some laughs and good sex that left you satisfied to ignore the dysfunction in your relationship, if you can even call it.

He never called it that, never even called you his girlfriend, never asked you out, never told you how much he liked you—unless it was after sex and he was all fucked out. It was always, his ‘friend’, his ‘buddy’, his ‘something’ but you never felt like he was yours. 

So all that bubbling anger and insecurity led to a fight more intense than any you’ve ever had and you stormed out.

You felt guilty every time you came up with an excuse to avoid a meeting until you simply didn't answer at all.

You did this, you distanced yourself from them and you had no right to be hurt but you couldn't help the sting that followed every time you saw the name of the caller

It was always Kay, sometimes Rain and Tyler, and you loved them all. But never the person you considered your closest friend.

Being in such a fickle situation, you often found yourself thinking who would stick around. They were all family and you were just an outsider, even if they never made you feel like it, you knew it was true.

But there was always someone that made you feel like something more. You didn’t know how, or why but she did. Navarro.

You thought you built something, a friendship and you weren't just her brother's boyfriend. But you must've been mistaken, because there wasn't a time you saw her name pop on the wristwatch.

But that didn't matter anymore.

The day was unbearable. Everything was annoying you and you had to restrain yourself from throwing the drill to the ground and walking away several times throughout the day.

When it was finally time to clock out after eleven exhausting hours you rushed to the locker room and got your things.

Normally you'd just walk right out, the supervisors ignoring you like they ignored the rest of the workers, but this time one of them stopped you before you could reach the door.

“Worker #233 your shift isn't finished.”

“What?” You frowned. “Eleven hours, I just clocked out” You argued, turning to face the guard.

“You owe the company eight more hours according to our records.” He spoke, voice monotone.

“What are you talking about? I didn't miss any days and I wasn't late a single day.” You were starting to lose your patience and it was clear in your voice. You just wanted to go home and crash on your bed.

“You have registered to fill in for another worker, yet you never fulfilled the quota. Worker #5583.” He informed you. You stared at him, clearly confused. “Marie Rain Carradine if the files are correct.” He corrected in irritation.

Fuck. 

This one time Rain fell down hard, hitting her knee in the process. The poor girl couldn't even walk straight, so you offered to take her place, take her home, and fill in the hours when you were needed. Did it have to be today?

“You are needed in the spacecraft maintenance department.” He told you, clearly as tired of this conversation as you were. 

“Seriously? Maintenance?” You raised a brow.

“You want to go back to the mines” He countered, quickly silencing you.

You returned to the clock-in room with a loud sigh, not really caring to hide your exhaustion as you approached the counter. You stared at the lady behind the glass, eyes tired and uninterested. 

The lady didn't seem to care as she took your worker's card and scanned it.

“Y/n L/n, right? You are assigned to perform a maintenance assessment on ‘Corbelan IV’.” She announced and gave you back your card, expecting you to get the tools and get out but you stared at the woman with wide eyes. She stared back at you, her gaze confused.

“Corbelan IV?” You asked, hoping you misheard.

“Yes, there's a shortage in staff” She answered unenthusiastically.

No, fuck no.

“Isn't, um, isn't there another ship?” You hesitantly asked. 

Panic started to sip through you while the woman lowered her glasses, staring at you disapprovingly.

“Like— isn't there another ship? Or something—anything, really.” You rambled the more the woman stared.

She raised a brow before pushing the card closer to you and turning back to her computer screen, seemingly done with the conversation.

“Fucking cunt” you mumbled under your breath as you grabbed the card.

You grabbed the tools from the shelf and walked out, the cold air hitting your face again. But you refused to move any faster, trying to stall as much as you could.

You spend too much time on this ship to know that it wasn't just any mining hauler, it was Navarro's baby. And most of the time the entire crew was there “cleaning and checking” it. In reality, you were there to drink and laugh and maybe actually do your work.

When you finally arrived you stared at the enormous craft for a while. This is going to be awkward…

You walked around until you finally found the ladder and pushed yourself up. Once you entered the ship you didn't hear any chatter from inside, even though the gate was wide open.

You just hoped Bjorn wasn’t here and by the quietness that filled this place, you guessed he wasn’t.

You walked deeper into the ship finding the second ladder to the cockpit and climbing, your boots making noise in contrast to how quiet the entire ship was.

“Kay, that you?” 

Navarro. You should have guessed.

You stopped in your tracks, hearing her deep voice after so long sent shivers down your spine.

“Uh, no. Not Kay.” You spoke after a beat.

The silence around you shifted into an uncomfortable silence so intense that you considered turning around and walking away.

But the sound of the small hum forced you to stay put.

No turning back now.

You continued climbing, finally seeing the yellow light of Navarro’s desk light. You forced yourself to lift your eyes once you stepped into the cockpit. 

There she was, awkwardly standing with her arms folded as she leaned against the back of her pilot seat watching you.

“Hey.” She spoke softly. She really tried to seem relaxed but her hand slowly lifted to scratch the back of her neck.

Such a funny habit of hers. You remember trying to keep yourself from giggling every time you saw her in awkward situations. She looked so unbothered until you noticed how she nervously rubbed the back of her neck.

It wasn't funny now.

Your eyes avoided her as you spoke “Hey.”

You remembered the toolbox in your hand and lifted it a bit to hopefully divert her attention to the item.

Her eyes took some time to leave your face, slowly falling to the toolbox. A small frown appeared on her face but it was quickly pushed away. “Oh yeah.” she mumbled.

You tensed as she approached you, leaning closer to you to take the object from your hand. You tried to ignore how close her cheek was to yours or how cold her fingers were when they gently wrapped around yours—well not around your hand but the handle of the toolbox.

Her fingers were always cold, no matter how warm the place was. She would always stand behind you, her tall physique made it very easy for her to rest her chin on your head or shoulder as her hands slid inside your pockets, squeezing your warm hands in hers and laughing when you yelped at the contact.

This time her fingers quickly moved away, taking the box with her. Her boots thud loudly against the metal floor as she walked to her pilot chair and placed the object on the cushiony seat.

The uncomfortable silence made you feel compelled to start the conversation.

“How have you been?” You asked quietly, awkwardly moving closer to her.

“Fine. You?” She answered, her loud rummaging through the toolbox echoing across the empty ship.

You weren't sure If you wanted to be truthful—if she wanted to hear about her brother's ex talking shit about him.

But she was your friend, right? You weren't just Bjorn's girlfriend all this time, right?

You ignored your consciousness screaming for you to keep your mouth shut.

You embarrassingly noticed the sweat that covered your hands and quickly wiped them on your shirt suddenly glad that the girl was turned the other way.

“Not that good, if I'm being honest” You replied with a small sigh.

The girl froze for a moment, not sure how to respond to your honesty. Eventually, she turned to face you with a hesitant smile appearing on her face momentarily “I get it. Breakups are tough.” 

“It wasn't a breakup” You argued, you couldn't contain the bitterness in your tone. “ We were never together to begin with.” 

You wanted to stop—really, but you just couldn't. With a groan, you slumped on a nearby seat.

“I mean don't get me wrong, being in a relationship with someone like Bjorn sounds like an actual nightmare—No offense…” You quickly added, sending Navarro an apologetic look.

“None taken,” Navarro said with a chuckle slowly approaching you. “Trust me, shit-talking Bjorn isn't new to me”

“Yeah.” You laughed, throat closing up a bit when she sat on the seat next to you.

“So I'm all ears. Why do you hate Bjorn—sorry, that asshole” She said with a mischievous smile.

But suddenly you didn't want to talk about Bjorn.

You couldn't.

Having her next to you after so long felt too good. So good that you couldn't stop your lips from curling into a smile.

“I don't want to talk about him.” He murmured, eyes meeting her amused ones.

“I missed talking to you, Varro.” You whispered, bumping her shoulder with your own softly. There was a certain melancholy in your tone, a small question lingering in your mind.

“Why didn't you call?”

You watched the playfulness in her eyes slowly turn into something else, something like guilt.

Maybe she was thinking the same thing, because she wasn't answering, just searching in your eyes for something before suddenly standing

Your eyes followed her with a frown as she walked to the pilot seat sitting down. Everything about her changed. Her friendly demeanor flipped to a much more distant one.

You hesitantly stood up. “I know I didn't answer and all but I didn't know what to say, i mean you guys are Bjorn's family” You tried to defend yourself while staring at the back of her head.

But the only thing Navarro offered you was a slow nod.

“I would've answered to you.” You confessed, blood rushing to your cheeks.

It was true. If Navarro called you you'd pick up the call without a second thought, the idea of hearing her voice enough to make you push past initial awkwardness.

She paid no mind to you, didn't even spare you a glance yet you were standing here like an idiot, essentially begging for her forgiveness. You bit your lip, cheeks burning with shame.

“I know. That's why I didn't call you” The words came out quick. Too quick. Her own eyes widened and she immediately turned to face you, obviously surprised that she let those words slip out.

You just stared at each other for a long beat, not sure what to say.

“That sounded wrong, I didn't mean it like t—” She attempted.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” You shouted, the burning in your cheeks was now a product of anger.

She sighed, running a hand through her buzzed head but her lack of response only fuelled your anger.

“What am I inconveniencing you by coming here? By talking to you?” You asked, not expecting an answer before continuing “I'm sorry Navarro, I thought we were fucking friends!” 

“We are!” Navarro began, attempting to approach you. You could see the remorse in her eyes but you couldn't stand here anymore, the stinging in your eyes becoming unbearable

No, you weren't going to cry here, you weren't going to fall this low.

“Clearly we fucking weren't!” You spoke as you walked to the ladder, climbing down without missing a beat. “Cause it looks like all I fucking was, was Bjorn’s girlfriend that you had to put up with” 

“That's fucking bullshit!” Navarro argued but it didn't matter anymore, you were going down faster, getting out of her eyesight.

The girl walked closer, looking down at you from the gap on the floor but you refused to look up.

“Y/n you can't seriously believe that shit!” Navarro's desperate voice echoed in the ship and as the elevator got closer to the surface of the ship, you jumped down with a loud thud. 

You don't remember how you got out of there. You don't even remember what stupid excuse you came up with to tell the supervisors but you remember Navarro trying to call out your name. 

The moment you got home you tossed your clothes to the ground and got inside the shower.

The moment the water fell on your burning body you felt the walls around you crack. With a choked sob your tears started flowing.

Navarro was special, she was special to you. And you thought you were special to her too.

The way she talked to you, the way she comforted you, the way she looked at you.

When you laid in your bed feeling small and pathetic and a like fucking moron for believing that you weren't just Bjorn's ‘friend’ and now ex all this time.

[jennilah]

a very dumb deep dive

gather round, i saw a few people say they want to crawl into the head of someone who had trouble telling Hoffman and Strahm apart upon first viewing. I offer mine for the picking because i think ive identified, at least in MY personal experience, the various elements that came together that formed the ultimate confusion

if this is not relatable nor informative, i hope it is at least a little silly. this is all in good fun and obviously the difference between them is clear as day to me now

this will be longer than it should be.

PRECURSOR POINT NUMBER ONE...

I do not remember character names. Not until they are recurring, or I've rewatched a film a few times. Sometimes it will take me an entire 12-21 episode season length for me to know characters by name in a show. I've seen some Saw films more than 6 times now and I still don't know everyone in the traps 🤷‍♀️

PRECURSOR POINT NUMBER TWO..

at the time of watching Saw IV for the first time, the madness has not yet set in for Hoffman and Strahm for me. In fact, I didn't like either of them. I wasn't looking at them with my deranged eyes yet.

Without my crazy brain activated, sometimes I'll get face blindness between people who have similar enough hair and stuff. I'll use clothes as an identifier if I can

Meaning, I didn't notice anything like face details, mannerisms, body shapes- to me, it was one dark haired white guy in a suit and another dark haired white guy in a suit who both worked in law enforcement.

uh oh

PRECURSOR POINT NUMBER THREE..

in a very elaborate plot like this with many interwoven stories being told, especially with police procedure, has a lot of details that get lost on me upon first watch because I simply easily misunderstand what is happening. I zone out on stuff like legal talk because I don't know that world at all, and the more general plot information to absorb, the more I forget.

"But [character] SAYS..!" oh, I'm aware! If you pay attention and can remember character names, everything is pretty clear in this movie!

so between all three points, you see where I'm starting to go with this.

THAT BRINGS US TO..

Saw IV. let me describe to you what I believe my thought process was to the best of my memory.

This guy shows up. as far as I knew, this was the first time I've met this character. I forgot he was in Saw III because he was only in it for a second and I definitely don't remember him among the sea of other characters.

ok. sure. new detective because the others are dead. got it 👌

next time we see him is a few minutes later, now in this lighting. I don't have his features memorized yet. I'm pretty sure I put it together that it was the same guy as before, and I see he's in a new outfit.

keep in mind he is not at all referred to with a NAME yet, until Perez shows up and introduces all three of them at the same time

here comes "Strahm," as he was quickly introduced in practically the same breath, from the FBI. and he looks like this.

I mentally go "ok FBI guy in the suit" because my occasional bout of face blindness is activating rn. The problems are on the horizon for me

I survived that scene, but the scene right after? I'm doomed.

Major Confusion #1:

this treacherous interrogation footage, ft Hoffman's ass and slutty, slutty suspenders (but I did NOT give him even a second glance here yet. genuinely.)

I'm 100% sure I just didn't know who I was looking at in this footage at all just because of the outfit change

and then the boys are back in town. and they're BOTH WEARING THIS...

This was mean. this was fucked. I was doomed. My brain is already churning trying to keep up with what the footage was, now there's two dark haired white men in dark suits. Who was who again? I think the guy who just turned off the TV was the new detective. The guy who was talking to the Swat guy before. Yeah....

Major Confusion #2:

Next time we see them, Strahm and Perez are watching the interrogation footage. They quickly start talking Jigsaw stuff and my mind is already working overtime figuring out what information is and isn't important to hold on to.

Hoffman says hello for like 1 minute and then fucks off.

My brain is going "ok.. that footage was an old interrogation... mhm..."

this is the information my brain has decided to retain from that scene for later.

Major Confusion #3

this dark haired white guy in a suit got kidnapped idfk. the shots are all very short and he's enshrouded in shadow or SUPER close-up, and I don't know to recognize him by his lips yet. clearly Im more focused on his hair color and suit, so this could be fuckin anyone

Perez said something about officers being in danger earlier, I think I thought maybe it was irony and the cocky FBI guy was the one who got kidnapped instead? i dont know.

then after the first test of Rigg's game, you see Perez and Strahm again for a SECOND. I def didn't pay them much attention. My mind is elsewhere- the insanity of the previous scene

Major Confusion #4:

then FINALLY... we see Hoffman again in the slut chair

and what have we learned about me so far?

let me sum up my logic for you

Now, if only I was certain on their names..

I'm not going to go over every single scene, but I guarantee you, the confusion was fully set in by this point. That detective from the beginning either really just went home, or he was working with Perez. Or maybe it's the FBI guy and someone else is in the chair? No idea.

My brain retained that one slightly misguided bit of information from the interrogation footage and thought This Guy, Whoever This Guy Is, was interrogating Jill a second time. (Wrong.)

there was no memory of the guy's big ass in that footage or anything. that was also way the fuck in the intro and there was a LOT more that happened between then and now in the movie to remember now. and people really don't say each other's names that often.

Yeah there's also that flashback footage showing The Guy In the Chair and Rigg back in the day, but I was too far gone. That was simply the story of how That Guy and Art Blanc knew each other.

and boy does Chair Guy not do much for the rest of the movie, so there was not much more info about his identity that I could try to work out. Maybe he was just some new random guy meant to die in someone else's game because he is kind of a dirty cop?

Pretty sure I was resigned to the fact that I was watching completely utterly confused by the third act.

then fucking JEFF DENLON shows up and i remember either mentally or physically throwing my hands up like "ok now i REALLY dont know whats going on"

I remember I was still excited by the thrill of it, just completely lost as to who was who and what the fuck was going on.

as Eric Matthews was yelling "WHO'S COMING THROUGH THAT DOOR?" i remember going "I DONT KNOW, MAN!!!!!!"

The Grand Clear-up:

THE REVEAL.

Through the power of the Hello Zepp reveal montage, I finally understood "OHHHH YOU'RE THE DETECTIVE FROM THE BEGINNING!!!"

i had other confusions that i eventually worked out, but I went into Saw V much more clear on who was who. There was Hoffman the evil detective, and Strahm the jerk FBI guy (who I then softened up to throughout V, no longer thinking he was a jerk)

and, if I couldn't physically tell who was on screen because I still struggled a little bit with that... I looked for Strahm's bandage :)

and thats my story lmao...

anyway finding out just how many other people mixed them up or confused them or couldn't tell them apart makes me feel so validated thank u. i understand u

[myfandomrealitea]

ok I’ll be honest, I was one of the people who approached your safe space post with the mindset “yeah, but…” like, I now whole-heartedly agree that there should absolutely be fandom spaces devoid of real world issues. We all need our spaces to rest and relax. I think I just felt weird about your post because previously ive been in fandom spaces which did operate on the (perfectly fine) rule of ‘no politics’…but ‘politics’ would also include talking about a gay ship or any queer headcannons.

That obviously wasn’t fair to you because you obviously didn’t mean that w/ your post, but I can personally see as to why some people would feel that way if they were in similar fandom spaces. I do still want to reiterate I do agree with your post and I think some of the rebloggers took it…a bit far? Like Jesus Christ some of y’all need to eat a snickers. I also think some of the wording like “bitching about world issues” and “whining about their shitty parents” might’ve thrown me off but that’s not your fault and really a non-issue 🤷🏽‍♀️

you can delete this ask if you want I really won’t mind, I think I can just see as to why there were so many ‘yeah, but…’ rebloggers.

I actually really appreciate asks like this. For a multitude of reasons, but also because it gives really good insight and outer perspective for both me and other people who are aware of or involved in the discussion.

I think what a lot of people don't yet grasp about me is that while I may hold an opposing view to yours (general, not directed), in the vast majority of cases I still very much understand why people would think the way they do and where that thought process comes from and goes.

Its very, very easy to fall into the mindset of thinking that not helping when you have the ability to makes you a bad person or however in/directly causes suffering. Its very easy to be in the mindset of one single individual making a magnitude of difference.

I fully and genuinely understand and comprehend a lot of the points being brought up.

I just don't agree with them and hold a different outlook on those issues.

For example:

Talking about enjoying a queer ship to me is not 'political' in the sense that, personally, if you're a homophobe and upset by generic conversations about queer people, I really could not give a fuck. And if you raise objections to me talking about two dudes kissing, I'm simply going to remove you from my space because clearly it is not beneficial for either of us to share it. And I made it.

Its obviously very very much down to personal discretion to decide where that line is and what that bracket encompasses, but I think the most universal aspect of that safe space post was trying to get people to understand that forcing others to suffer in solidarity isn't activism and that strangers are not obligated to allow you to use them as support and a dumping ground for your needs.

Spreading around videos of people's dead loved ones isn't activism.

Spamming taglines and buzzwords on completely unrelated posts and videos isn't activism.

Relying on complete strangers for emotional and mental support and regulation while dumping vulnerable, graphic, personal information on them is neither safe nor healthy.

People are not obligated to smother or confine their happiness because of your misery. If you're having a bad day you have no right to tell other people they can't be happy in front of you.

A lot of people, mostly white knighters and people of color took the post as "a white privileged pig saying its okay to let racism slide because you want to play your video games" (actual hate mail I received) and that's so laughably and wildly far from the actual basis of the post.

I've had bigots in my servers before. Homophobes or racists who've slipped through the cracks.

You know what happens when they say something homophobic or racist?

They're immediately removed, blocked and reported, and their information is placed in a private document I keep. I issue an apology to the members of the server for their actions, and life goes on.

People are, of course, entitled to take the post as they see fit. They're entitled to their own perspectives and opinions. I'm more than happy to simply focus on the people who have taken support, guidance and solace in the post.

[amaya-143]

Ive always kinda said that I'm a lot like mirabelle, and i am we act a lot alike, but I also feel i understand Siffrin in a way that goes beyond a reader perspective. I think part of the reason i not only relate, but love and understand Siffrin as a character is the way he processes trauma and his feelings around what hurts them. I'm obviously not a psychiatrist, nor am i waving my hand and saying 'Hey hey this fella has THIS i am DIAGNOSING' I'm more just kind of ranting about a character stuck in my brain a lot (along with Basil from omori, i could write about them forever). However i am throwing around a few terms just because that is MY own take on him. consider this a little disclaimer

Obviously, post canon is post canon for a reason WE KNOW NOTHING OFFICIAL ABOUT IT but. I feel as though i can imagine Post Canon Siffrin struggling with PTSD. And i know that's a term that kinda gets thrown around when a character goes through something traumatic, but i mean genuine Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Not every major trauma causes it, but i strongly see Sif developing it post loops. Especially in one aspect. I know a lot of Post Canon Fics, especially Siffrin centric ones, tackle the idea of them having flashbacks or confusion, believing they're back in the loops and reciting the usual script again, and to me that makes sense. i agree. But something i think about a lot is Sif's take on his trauma.

There is no typical reaction or response to your trauma, and there is no set way to describe it, but i believe Siffrin to refer to his life surrounding his trauma as 'Before the loops' and 'After the loops'. This isn't a typical time travel game. LIFE DOESN'T JUST MOVE ON. Frin has experienced a trauma so catastrophic he now refers to things happening before or after the event. THE event. We can already see this happening ingame, when Siffrin Questions if he acted certain ways before the loops, When Mira asks him if they remember last week, the question about them enjoying the journey, Siffrin's inner dialouge says *You don't.*

Which, yeah, they've been in the loops for A WHILE. it makes sense they don't remember, I'm completely acknowledging that, but i think this could also be taken in a, the loops are siffrins whole life, way. its not just a 'wow time has passed and nobody else knows hahahha' moment its also a 'i have forgotten this thing because this event that is currently happening to me is taking up all my thoughts and energy'

Which thats all pretty obvious, right? My point of that is to say that i don't think that would just END after the loops. I don't think Siffrin would recover well at all. I think they'd have Ptsd for even years to come. Their life has literally been altered, yet again. You don't move on from that easy.

i was going to go all in depth about the way they respond to the idea of the loops and also how the north island trauma feeds into the fear of being forgotten but GOD knows ive been writing long enough

[creatingnikki]

What I've learned in 2023 (part I)

i. Compatibility is what you are looking for. A compatible home, a compatible partner, a compatible workplace, a compatible friend circle. Compatible with who you are as a person and the kind of life you want to live. Compatible so that you don’t constantly have to use so much of your energy in trying to fight unnecessary battles simply to exist how you are. When the spaces you are in and the people you are with are not compatible with your existence the way it is, the way you want it to be, there will be constant chaos, distress, and conflict for which you will have to use so much energy. But if you are in compatible spaces with compatible people – not ideal, not perfect, simply compatible – then you can use that energy towards creating and building things that matter to you. Because your everyday choices? They are not being questioned, judged, or blocked.

ii. Lessons will keep repeating themselves until you've learned them. So you have to start paying attention. Realizations in themselves are not lessons learned. Change in actions and thought processes is. So, yes, lessons will keep repeating themselves until you learn them. And even once you have learned them. It's like with how we learned the same subjects in school year after year. Just because you learned Geography in grade 5, does not mean you still did not have to in grades 6, 7, 8, and so on. Life lessons too have additional layers, context, and depth. It can all feel very Sisyphean. But the boulder is never the exact same twice. Similar but not identical.

iii. Just because he was a puppy before, does not mean he is not a कुत्ता (dog) right now.

iv. 인연 (in-yeon) is the fate specific to the meeting of two people, the ties two people share over the course of their lives. Someone you have perhaps comes across in your past life/lives in various capacities. And so, yes, when you come across someone you feel comfortable with, can have meaningful conversations with effortlessly, feel a ‘connection’ with, feel the 인연 with it feels special. But 인연 is also the fate of this life. Maybe in this life you’re only meant to share this very limited, very brief, 인연 with someone. Even if you feel this deep connection. Maybe in this life they are not meant to be your soulmate or your best friend. Maybe they are only meant to be your professor or your neighbour. Let it be so. Accept that fate, accept this life’s 인연 with them. No matter the intensity of the connection. Again, let things run their natural course. There is no other way.

v. I am an open book that even a blind man can read. An open book so heavily and aesthetically self-annotated that people can play me like a fool just for shits and giggles. And while I have started to appreciate humour a lot more in life, I am not okay with my candidness, earnestness, and vulnerability being mocked, manipulated, or misused. I am still not clear on how to protect myself in this aspect but I do know two things clearing — first, forcing myself to change who I am at my most authentic core is not the answer. Second, there, however, does need to be some protection. Think of yourself like a special edition, rare precious book in a fancy, restricted-access library. Only members, who loves books, who value books, who take great care of them, and have a track record of doing so can borrow the book/check it out of the library. Essentially, you must be more mindful of who gets access to you. And like you can continue being your real, authentic self, but you do not have to be that all the time and with everybody.

vi. Speaking about vulnerability, let's talk about the semantics of it for a bit. It's The word 'vulnerability' is derived from the Latin word 'vulnus' which literally means — the ability to wound. Why? Why would you do that with people you don't yet know well + trust to be safe? That's why one of the lessons of this year is the realization to get rid of this blanket vulnerability. It's not some sort of strength, it's simply dangerous.

vii. On that note, conversations, even emotional conversations cannot be an indicator of the actual real (lasting) comfort and intimacy and trust between you and the other person. That only happens naturally over time.

viii. So, yeah, timing and time? It is your friend; not a bitch. Allow people and things time to run their course and reveal themselves to you. There’s no need to feel anxious or responsible to make things with somebody flow a certain way because at the end of the day, no matter what you say or do, things will pan out the way they are meant to. So, trying to rush things, trying to lowkey orchestrate them, or putting so much thought into things like how you’re punctuating your texts is futile. What is meant to be is meant to be and feeling FOMO when it comes to people and relationships only really happens when you create elaborate scenarios in your head before even getting to know somebody.

ix. Capturing everything more in videos instead of pictures is precious. That motion of your friend kissing your cheek and that motion of the street cat moving her tale in and out of the sunshine falling on the ground is what you really want to capture and look back on.

[writingoddess1125]

It's Done pt. 3

Part 2 <<<

Asshole Mihawk x Femreader

Angst and Saddness

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It had been nearly 2 months since you'd last seen Mihawk- The day he tried to give his life in a sad attempt to get you to back down.. In truth you were a hot mess for a solid week afterwards- Sobbing hysterically and having to start the process of healing all over again.

You wondered when he got so selfish- to dare treat you like that for nearly 20 years only to try a dirty move like that of wanting to die your husband- When has he ever acted like your husband? When he fucked eveything that moved or insulted your infertility to your face?

It was hard.. terrible even but you started to rebuild all over again. But luckily during those two months you prepared, knowing eventually he would return and you'd be ready.

You sat outside on the padio of your home sipping some tea, taking a gentle breath as you tried to ease yourself... you could already feel it that he was going to arrive-

As if on cue by late noon Mihawk was at your door... unlike before he didn't look like he had rolled out of a dumpster but he didn't look good either- He had lost weight, his skin looking unhealthy and heavy bags under his eyes. He wasn't taking care of himself in the slightest and it was noticable.

"Here to try again?" You said with venom in your voice- Mihawk quietly nodding as he held up the same dirty manilla envelope and this time one of his own.

"Can we just talk first?" He asked softly, You rolling your eyes but nodded and allowed him inside- leading him to the study to allows this meeting to take place. However you made it a point to set down a pistol right on your lap as a warning- Which by his gaze you could tell worried him slightly.

"...I brought back the papers and I brought some of my own. I wanted to see if this would be something you'd be interested in before a divorce" Mihawk started as he handed you the new folder her brought. Taking it you quickly opened it and saw a detailed legal contract- asking for a trial separation, both parties going to couples counseling and individual, promise of no outer relationships for 6 months to establish trust and while it didn't say that at the end you two would end up together but it was clearly implied.

"You're actually serious?-" You deadpanned, glaring at Mihawk.

"Please (Y/N)- Just hear me out.." Mihawk begged- You sighing heavily at this having just wanted the papers to be signed.

"What Mr. Dracule?" You said formally and kept a hand on the pistol.

"I can be better. It's just a temporary separation agreement. Not yet a divorce but just some time for us to- Think and maybe heal?" He suggested and you just felt angry once more.

"Heal? You think I need to heal and think about us divorcing? It is me healing and thinking being away from you Mihawk!" You yelled and he bit his lip- clearly wanting to say more to unsure which direction to go.

"And why should I?" You question, staring at him as he looked down.. you could practically see the shame running through him and the hurt in his gaze.

"Cause I can't live without you- I can't sleep knowing you're not home.. it doesn't feel like home anymore, I don't smell your perfume, don't hear you humming... it feels like I'm lost at sea without a raft and... and..." He stopped, his eyes watering as he looked at you- studying your face like he was seeing you for the first time in years.

"...I..." He sighed heavily- Bowing his head fully as if in defeat.

"You shouldnt..." He finally said which caught you off guard.

"Gods this is all my fault.. it truly is.. I disrespected you, dishonored you and broke our vows.. I have no right to sit before you and ask for anything.. I just didnt want you to absolutely detest me since I do still love you- Ive just been taking advantage of your heart for over two decades.. I see it now.." Mihawk said truthfully- You could hear the true regret in his voice. Total and utter defeat clearly humbling him in some way as he sat there before you..

"Ill sign the papers (Y/N)...I-I just wanted another chance to make this right.. I'm so sorry" He said softly, this being the first time he actually apologized for his wcruons as a whole or what he did to you- Surprise hitting your whole body.

It was silent for a few moments, Mihawk getting up and grabbing the pen from the desk and the semi soiled divorce papers. The ink from your signing runny and bleeding the paper. You doubted it would be accepted in that state-.

However despite the ruined pages he began to sign them. Your own heart breaking ever so slightly as you watched- As he was signing the last page you grabbed his hand stopping him.

"Wait- I can't believe I'm saying this.. but stop" You sigh out- Mihawk staring at you with widened eyes, You pulling away from his hand and staring at the wreck of a man.

"Mihawk I don't think I can find it in myself to forgive you... But I am willing to give the trial separation a try" You sigh, rubbing your temple softly at allowing this small thing.

Mihawks yellow eyes lighting up at hearing this- while this didn't mean you would get back together nor even avoid the divorce. However he simply wanted the chance for you two could be on better terms or even just your to not hate his guts.

"Thank you (Y/N)... Thank you"

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