#I don't think ive processed this all right yet

[benetnvsch]

.

[savage-rhi]

I'm very much a, "fuck yeah and fuck you, I don't need validation! I'm me, cunts!" kinda fella, but sometimes I could use support.

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

hiii i love ur fics idk if ur requests are on rn but can u do a short drabble of the tiktok trend where the guy hasn't ask his gf to be his valentines day so she "put him on sale" as a joke ofc but she's like

BF FOR SALE ($3.50)

- amazing cook

-crusty feet

- will buy anything u want

any character is fine but i would love katsuki or shoto!!

LMFAOOOO this is for sure the funniest ask ive gotten yet😭😭😭 this is so cute !! and very long overdue I apologize writer block devil was rlly kickin my ass😞 valentines been over but yk i had to write this ! i was rlly hesitating between writing for shoto or katsuki and then i realized i could write for BOTH OF THEM!! and so i did ! i tried honoring your request as best i could, hope you like it <3 !

no pronouns mentioned, pure tooth rotting nasty fluff, use of petnames (my love for shoto and sweets, babe and idiot (lol) for katsuki), katsuki is an asshat but when isn’t he, shy katsuki, shoto is a bit of an airhead, kissing, biting, reader is petty asl lol, lemme know if i missed something else !

todoroki shoto ♥︎

“yn, my love.”

“yes, shoto ?”

the corners of shoto’s mouth pull into a tiny frown at the usage of his first name. no baby, no hun, not even sho. just shoto.

“did i do something to upset you ?” he asks carefully from his spot at the foot of your dorm bed he seems to be stuck at, he can’t bring himself to move until he knows if you’re actually mad at him, and he has an inkling you are.

you look up at him for no longer than a second then look back down at your phone screen “what makes you think that ?” you question back nonchalantly.

“you posted something on your tiktok account..” shoto doesn’t have a clue how to have this conversation with you and it makes him a little nervous, he regrets not going to izuku for advice after all.

“mhmmmm~” you hum, urging him to continue knowing damn well you know what he’s going to say. you wanted to hear him say it himself.

you know shoto’s had no previous relationships before you so these type of things probably don’t mean as much to him as they do to you, but doesn’t everyone want their boyfriends to ask them to be their valentine ? you sure do, and your boyfriend hadn’t asked you to be his yet, so as petty as you know you were being at the time you posted the tiktok he’s no doubt here for right now.

shoto feels like a criminal on trial desperately trying to plead his case with you being the judge. tentatively, he asks “ you said you were..putting me up for sale ?”

immediately it’s like a switch had been flipped. you place your phone down onto your bed next to you, shoto wishes he could take your phone’s place. you cross your leg over the other and bring your hands together like a super villain revealing their master plan “yes. yes i did.”

“oh.”

silence. nothing.

shoto tried—he’s trying. he’s trying so insanely hard to make sense of everything that is you but he simply can’t. he breaks eye contact to think of more to ask but his attention is quickly pulled back to you when he hears you whine.

“uuuuughhh shotoooo~” you moan, throwing your head back against the headboard. “you’re not supposed to say ‘oh’ !” you’re face changes from grumpy to deadpan as you lower your voice slightly to try and mimic him. on any other day this would’ve made him laugh but he’s beyond lost at this point. he clears his throat before speaking again.

“ i don’t know what i’m supposed to say—or what i did for you to want to sell me.” he thinks “and for 3 dollars at that.”

you let out a laugh when you process his words and shoto’s shoulders magically feel lighter at the sound. carefully, he slides a little closer to the side of your bed so he can stand at your bedside. little by little. you pretend you don't notice.

"it's what you deserve for not askin' me to be your valentine."

the secret’s finally out and you get to see how the cog wheels in his head are starting to turn in real time, it has you holding back a giggle when he looks up at you like a deer in headlights.

“is that..why you were mad ?” you nod, humming out a playful mhmm

“ya really hurt my feelings you know ? to think my own boyfriend wouldn’t ask me” you clench your fist over your heart and fake sob dramatically.

shoto huffs out a laugh, relieved to see you’re not actually mad, and goes to sit down on your bed. he tentatively reaches for your hand and squeezes it twice when you let him hold it. before bringing it up to his lips and placing a sweet little kiss to it. it feels as if pop rocks are going off inside of you.

“ i’m sorry for not asking you to be my valentine.” he apologizes, his thumb absentmindedly rubbing your hand “ i was thinking i should’ve, but i didn’t want you to think it was weird since we’re already dating.” his thumb goes to run over your fingers “ i was worried me being too intense would scare you off.” he mumbles.

your eyebrows furrow, you lean towards him to make him look at you “ you wouldn’t scare me off, who told you that ?”

“kaminari. he said ‘coming on too strong scares away the babes.’ ” shoto quotes

you sigh. of course it was that bigmouth portable charger filling his head with this stuff.

you pull your hand out of his grasp and he looks up to protest but you grab his face in your hands before he can say anything, you can practically see him start melting at the contact as he blinks at you slowly, he reminds you of a cat.

“sho” you purr, rubbing his cheeks “ rule number one is never ever listening to kaminari’s dating advice. most of the time it is very wrong.” you explain.

shoto presses his mouth to the palm of your hand “yeah, i’m starting to regret that now.” he speaks into it, you snort. he leans in closer to press a sweet kiss to your lips and you reciprocate, pressing a few more kisses on his lips for good measure “ i’m really sorry for not asking you.” he says in between pecks. you hum in response to him placing even more kisses all around your face. “s’okay. i’m also kinda sorry for putting you up for sale.” you say, running your fingers through his hair while he places kisses on your shoulder.

he lifts his head up to look at you then, an eyebrow raised with an amused expression on his face “kinda sorry ?” he asks.

you nod “mhm. kinda sorry.”

he chuckles to himself, then gets up so he can climb into bed next to you. when he’s positioned how he likes it, with his head in your lap while you comb through his hair with your fingers, he sighs peacefully “well, it wasn’t all bad. i’m glad you think i’m a good cook.”

“what about the crusty feet ?”

“i’m choosing to ignore that part.” shoto smirks lightly to himself when he hears you laugh at his joke, clearly proud of himself for it. “and i will buy you anything you want, to make it up to you.”

“i don’t need you to buy me anything, sho” you roll your eyes with a lovesick smile “ all you gotta do is ask.”

he blinks up at you, looks off the the side as if he’s deep in thought, and suddenly gets off your lap to sit right in front of you. you never think you’ll get over how pretty your boyfriend is and being reminded of it with how close he is to you makes you flustered. he leans in to kiss you passionately and you don’t know if it’s the love he pours into it or the lack of air that has you so dizzy, you don’t dwell on it.

when he pulls away he’s looking at you like you hung up the stars in the sky and he simply, almost shyly smiles at you and asks.

“ will you be my valentine ?”

bakugou katsuki ♥︎

you did not expect katsuki to come barging into your dorm room five minutes after you’d posted your tiktok. the loud sound of someone banging on your door and proceeding to let themselves in seconds later causes you to let out a squeak.

in comes katsuki, phone tightly clutched in his hand and the moment his eyes zeroed on you he’s like a bull charging at a red flag. he stands right in front of you, angry frown on display before he shoves his phone in your face.

“explain this. now.” he growls, you have to hold back a laugh, keeping your face as calm as possible you look between him, his screen then back at your phone.

“what’s confusing about it ? i thought i was being pretty straight forward.”

his eye twitches. “why the hell did you put me up for sale ?! and for three dollars and fifty fuckin’ cents ?!” he exclaims, you can’t help the snort that bursts out of you, though katsuki doesn’t look as amused as you are.

“explain.” he deadpans.

“i think you can figure it out.” you shrug back.

he mutters insults to himself that you can’t catch “well obviously fuckin’ not, cus I wouldn’t be askin’ you if i did.” you simply shrug and look back at your phone. “i wrote it in the caption.”

it takes him a second to process then he’s tapping his password and opening the clock app at super sonic speed. his eyebrows furrow and you see him tapping away at his phone. his eyes widen when he reads your caption and he looks down at you with a mix of desperation and disbelief.

“you’re mad cus I didn’t ask you to be my valentine ?” your bratty huff and turn to the side as you shrug again is all the answer he needs. he looks at you for about 5 seconds longer then sighs.

he sits down on your bed and keeps staring. katsuki bakugou hates a lot of things and one of those things is you ignoring him. a warm hand on your ankle startles you and you can’t even ask him what he’s doing before your being yanked towards him. you squeal, almost missing the smirk on his face or the huff of laughter at your reaction. almost though, so you glare at him. katsuki looms over you until your noses almost touch, then you turn away with a huff. he chuckles, pressing his lips to your neck.

“ yer such a baby, y’know that ?” he mumbles, smirking against you neck. you huff but make no effort to shrug him off “ no i’m not, jerk. is it so wrong for me to want my boyfriend to ask me to be his valentine’s ?” you grumble, trying to ignore the feel of his warm lips against your skin, it’s not working so well for you.

“s’not what i’m sayin, sweets” he nips at your earlobe “‘m sayin’ ya coulda just told me ‘stead of bein’ a baby about it.” you can’t tell if this is his way of trying to apologize. either way, you don’t want to give in just yet.

“i’m not supposed to tell you to ask me to be your valentine’s katsuki, that’s not the point~ !” you huff petulantly. you feel a but childish but, c’mon ! it’s a given to have your boyfriend as your valentine and it wouldn’t hurt your demon spawn of a boyfriend to be a little but romantic once in a while.

he playfully rolls his eyes at you “see, what’d i tell you? big baby.” leaning forward he nips at your nose making you groan and trying to push him away with your palm. katsuki being the powerhouse that he is, doesn’t budge. “ i didn’t think to ask ya cus you’re already mine. so why should i need to ask something that’s a given ?”

your heart beats faster at his words and katsuki takes his chance when he feels you loosing up more and more. suddenly he’s got your wrists in his grip, holding them above you and looking down at you with that sickeningly handsome smirk. you’re almost there, he can practically feel it.

“i—i’m..still mad at you” you stutter out weakly, your defenses are down.

“yeah ?” he taunts.

“yeah. apologize.”

he scoffs, rolling his eyes lightheartedly “why should i apologize ? you said my fuckin’ feet stink.”

“ ah, ah, ah.” you tut “don’t put words in my mouth, i said your feet were crusty.”

“yeah, thanks babe. that makes it so much better.” he sasses, you laugh “and i complimented you ! i said you were an amazing cook !”

“yeah but that ain’t a compliment, ‘ts a fact.” he says matter of factly, you’re eyes threaten to get stuck at the back of your skull with how hard you roll them and he snickers.

he dives in and steals a kiss, and then another one when you don’t stop him. when he pulls away to catch his breath, ready to steal another kiss you stop him by placing your hand on his chest. he looks down at you questioningly and you give him a raised brow in response. he groans.

“fine. m’sorry” he concedes quietly

“foooorrr ?” you urge.

he narrows his eyes at you as if saying “don’t push it” but swallows his words down “ for not askin’ you to be my valentine’s or whatever the fuck” he shoves his now hot face into your neck and mumbles “now quit bein’ all pissed at me.”

you’re happy enough with that, so you wrap your arms around his neck, one of your hands creeping up his nape and into his hair. he sighs contentedly, clearly enjoying the attention you’re giving him.

“thank you. i’m also sorry for saying you have crusty feet.” hearing him scoff at the accusation makes you giggle “and for putting you up for sale.” he hums, happy with your apology.

“..kinda.”

“oi.” he warns. you giggle in response continuing your ministrations in his hair.

“you still haven’t asked me so..” you trail off. he lifts his head up to look at you with a blond eyebrow raised.

“ does this valentine shit really matter that much to you ?” he asks.

you respond immediately “yes.” nodding aggressively to make your point.

he sighs, shaking his head. he looks at you, then looks off to the side in embarrassment, he can be so cute when he wants to be. steeling his nerves he looks you straight in the eyes. fearless with fierce red cheeks and all.

“b-be my valentine, idiot..”

[aethelwyneleigh27]

Ex-husband!Simon "Ghost" Riley Part 2

Part 1, Part 2, (Part 3??)

Part 1 was many months ago.. oopsie! Been doing a lot of reading recently and HOLY FUCK I LOVE THE TWISTED SERIES BY ANA HUANG. I JUST FINISHED IT, CAN'T WAIT TO READ THE KING OF SINS SERIES (btw I finished it a long time ago, this draft just never made it out). Do y'all like want some stuff implemented from there, here? I'M THINKING KING OF GREED? 👀

Also.. This was supposed to be my birthday special, but what happened was I became busy and never got around to making a definitive ending.. but don't worry, this isn't where the series ends.

My goodness the taglist on this one almost doubled, to anyone who doesn't want to be part of the tags, please tell me so that I can remove you because this will be the official list and it's still open for more people who wanna see this series.

Warning: Too lazy to proof read since I have so much to do, please tell me any autocorrected, misspelled words in the replies so I can change it.. 😭

My CoD Masterlist

My Simon Riley x You Playlist

Simon sulked, his forehead resting on the soft mattress. His back and neck were aching yet he couldn't get the fear and worry out his head. You clear the fog in your head, your body felt sore despite the semi-comfortable bed you were laying on.

You groan softly, forcing yourself to sit-up, where the fuck was your daughter? Was she safe? In a panic you looked around the room, you let out a long, deep sigh as you saw her laying on the couch. Long blond hair splayed around messily on the pillow with a blanket that was barely hanging onto her body, she looked so peaceful.

You felt movement next to you, Simon woke up. He looks up to you, in a bit of a shock. He didn't say a word before holding you and guiding you back down to lay on the slightly adjusted bed, back against the pillow he fixed behind you, you wanted to fight it and protest but his strength was god-like on your still weak and not well rested body, your throat was dry to the point of pain and obvious discomfort.

Simon knows you better than you know yourself, resentment settled in your blood, felt more than the amount than when you missed him. He took the tightly sealed water bottle on the table next to your bed and pries it open, holding the bottle's opening to your lips.

You took a big gulp with his guide but you gently took the bottle off his hand into your own, your fingers brushing his a bit in the process, basically telling him you could do it yourself. A few more gulps down and your throat was eased, you handed back the water bottle to Simon.

He was fidgeting with his hands, his fingers rubbing and grazing the spot your fingers accidentally touched. You looked down with dismay as he takes the bottle from you and closes it.

Was he so disgusted and revolted by your touch that he's brushing off his fingers from it? You knew you didn't end it good terms but you had no idea he hated you that much. Maybe not.. are you overthinking? Probably.

It was silent, awkward, just hearing the IV drip and the beeps of the heart monitor. Simon wanted to say something so bad but what do you say to the love of your life who you've hurt severely and regret it because you still love her and want to be in her life again? Mouthful, he knows.

Simon had no right to you anymore, he couldn't even scold you and tell you to take better care of yourself anymore because that's what he used to do, it's way too familiar. He couldn't even touch you without him thinking it would make you uncomfortable.

You feel it, rather see it more but Simon wanted to die in the moment. Heavy breaths and clearly restless eyes, disheveled hair..

"How do you feel..?" He said, he looks elsewhere as he wanted to avoid the way your eyes chose to settle on him..

"I don't know..? I don't know how to process all this but there's no physical pain, just nausea.." you said, he got up to call a nurse and alert them that you're awake. He chose to step out while the doctor did the regular routine of checking everything.

"Momma?" You turn to your left at the couch where your daughter was sat up, rubbing her eyes.. she got off it and immediately ran to you, "I'm glad you're okay now.." she said which never failed to make you smile with how caring she tended to be..

"What happened bubs? Momma doesn't remember much except for fainting.." you asked the bundle of joy as you tried to piece back what had happened beforehand..

"I called dada when you fell, momma. I was so scared, I was shouting but you won't wake up.. dada took so long to get there but when he did, he asked me to go in the car while carried you inside to take you here.." she said, you took her off the ground and placed her at your side, embracing her little body.

"I'm sorry bubs, momma should've taken better care of herself.. if I had, I wouldn't have been so sick to the point of unconsciousness.." you felt so guilty, if only it had been under better circumstance then you would've been able to take care of yourself better and not put your child through what must've been a moment that should've set her in a panic.

"It's okay, momma. I'm a big girl now, I can take care of you like you take care of me.." her sweet little voice paused for a moment.

"Momma, what does unconscious mean?" She asked, you laughed, forgetting that she doesn't know the meaning of certain words yet..

Taglist: @wishesforyou @puff0o0 @simping4konig @simp4konig @blingblong55 @azereus @rustic-guitar-notes @callsignsnowpunisher @09maruchan @anonymuslydumb @skeletalgoats @icarustypicalfall @connorsui @capuccino192 @miss-gms-and-the-rotten-womb @celestialhole @the-second-sage @starryylies @everlastingmoonlightsworld @keiva1000 @iexiam @drewsmusee @konigceo @duck-a-doodle @darkhorrorwhispers @cyphah @ash-tarte @linaangel @waves-against-a-cliff @fruitymoonbeams-blog @venussdovess @mactavishsgfandwife @thisisaphrodite @holyfeck @avalkyrieofparis @mymelx @ssc7514 @lilaclazer @fandomwarrior98 @spontaneousleo

[jennilah]

a very dumb deep dive

gather round, i saw a few people say they want to crawl into the head of someone who had trouble telling Hoffman and Strahm apart upon first viewing. I offer mine for the picking because i think ive identified, at least in MY personal experience, the various elements that came together that formed the ultimate confusion

if this is not relatable nor informative, i hope it is at least a little silly. this is all in good fun and obviously the difference between them is clear as day to me now

this will be longer than it should be.

PRECURSOR POINT NUMBER ONE...

I do not remember character names. Not until they are recurring, or I've rewatched a film a few times. Sometimes it will take me an entire 12-21 episode season length for me to know characters by name in a show. I've seen some Saw films more than 6 times now and I still don't know everyone in the traps 🤷‍♀️

PRECURSOR POINT NUMBER TWO..

at the time of watching Saw IV for the first time, the madness has not yet set in for Hoffman and Strahm for me. In fact, I didn't like either of them. I wasn't looking at them with my deranged eyes yet.

Without my crazy brain activated, sometimes I'll get face blindness between people who have similar enough hair and stuff. I'll use clothes as an identifier if I can

Meaning, I didn't notice anything like face details, mannerisms, body shapes- to me, it was one dark haired white guy in a suit and another dark haired white guy in a suit who both worked in law enforcement.

uh oh

PRECURSOR POINT NUMBER THREE..

in a very elaborate plot like this with many interwoven stories being told, especially with police procedure, has a lot of details that get lost on me upon first watch because I simply easily misunderstand what is happening. I zone out on stuff like legal talk because I don't know that world at all, and the more general plot information to absorb, the more I forget.

"But [character] SAYS..!" oh, I'm aware! If you pay attention and can remember character names, everything is pretty clear in this movie!

so between all three points, you see where I'm starting to go with this.

THAT BRINGS US TO..

Saw IV. let me describe to you what I believe my thought process was to the best of my memory.

This guy shows up. as far as I knew, this was the first time I've met this character. I forgot he was in Saw III because he was only in it for a second and I definitely don't remember him among the sea of other characters.

ok. sure. new detective because the others are dead. got it 👌

next time we see him is a few minutes later, now in this lighting. I don't have his features memorized yet. I'm pretty sure I put it together that it was the same guy as before, and I see he's in a new outfit.

keep in mind he is not at all referred to with a NAME yet, until Perez shows up and introduces all three of them at the same time

here comes "Strahm," as he was quickly introduced in practically the same breath, from the FBI. and he looks like this.

I mentally go "ok FBI guy in the suit" because my occasional bout of face blindness is activating rn. The problems are on the horizon for me

I survived that scene, but the scene right after? I'm doomed.

Major Confusion #1:

this treacherous interrogation footage, ft Hoffman's ass and slutty, slutty suspenders (but I did NOT give him even a second glance here yet. genuinely.)

I'm 100% sure I just didn't know who I was looking at in this footage at all just because of the outfit change

and then the boys are back in town. and they're BOTH WEARING THIS...

This was mean. this was fucked. I was doomed. My brain is already churning trying to keep up with what the footage was, now there's two dark haired white men in dark suits. Who was who again? I think the guy who just turned off the TV was the new detective. The guy who was talking to the Swat guy before. Yeah....

Major Confusion #2:

Next time we see them, Strahm and Perez are watching the interrogation footage. They quickly start talking Jigsaw stuff and my mind is already working overtime figuring out what information is and isn't important to hold on to.

Hoffman says hello for like 1 minute and then fucks off.

My brain is going "ok.. that footage was an old interrogation... mhm..."

this is the information my brain has decided to retain from that scene for later.

Major Confusion #3

this dark haired white guy in a suit got kidnapped idfk. the shots are all very short and he's enshrouded in shadow or SUPER close-up, and I don't know to recognize him by his lips yet. clearly Im more focused on his hair color and suit, so this could be fuckin anyone

Perez said something about officers being in danger earlier, I think I thought maybe it was irony and the cocky FBI guy was the one who got kidnapped instead? i dont know.

then after the first test of Rigg's game, you see Perez and Strahm again for a SECOND. I def didn't pay them much attention. My mind is elsewhere- the insanity of the previous scene

Major Confusion #4:

then FINALLY... we see Hoffman again in the slut chair

and what have we learned about me so far?

let me sum up my logic for you

Now, if only I was certain on their names..

I'm not going to go over every single scene, but I guarantee you, the confusion was fully set in by this point. That detective from the beginning either really just went home, or he was working with Perez. Or maybe it's the FBI guy and someone else is in the chair? No idea.

My brain retained that one slightly misguided bit of information from the interrogation footage and thought This Guy, Whoever This Guy Is, was interrogating Jill a second time. (Wrong.)

there was no memory of the guy's big ass in that footage or anything. that was also way the fuck in the intro and there was a LOT more that happened between then and now in the movie to remember now. and people really don't say each other's names that often.

Yeah there's also that flashback footage showing The Guy In the Chair and Rigg back in the day, but I was too far gone. That was simply the story of how That Guy and Art Blanc knew each other.

and boy does Chair Guy not do much for the rest of the movie, so there was not much more info about his identity that I could try to work out. Maybe he was just some new random guy meant to die in someone else's game because he is kind of a dirty cop?

Pretty sure I was resigned to the fact that I was watching completely utterly confused by the third act.

then fucking JEFF DENLON shows up and i remember either mentally or physically throwing my hands up like "ok now i REALLY dont know whats going on"

I remember I was still excited by the thrill of it, just completely lost as to who was who and what the fuck was going on.

as Eric Matthews was yelling "WHO'S COMING THROUGH THAT DOOR?" i remember going "I DONT KNOW, MAN!!!!!!"

The Grand Clear-up:

THE REVEAL.

Through the power of the Hello Zepp reveal montage, I finally understood "OHHHH YOU'RE THE DETECTIVE FROM THE BEGINNING!!!"

i had other confusions that i eventually worked out, but I went into Saw V much more clear on who was who. There was Hoffman the evil detective, and Strahm the jerk FBI guy (who I then softened up to throughout V, no longer thinking he was a jerk)

and, if I couldn't physically tell who was on screen because I still struggled a little bit with that... I looked for Strahm's bandage :)

and thats my story lmao...

anyway finding out just how many other people mixed them up or confused them or couldn't tell them apart makes me feel so validated thank u. i understand u

[myfandomrealitea]

ok I’ll be honest, I was one of the people who approached your safe space post with the mindset “yeah, but…” like, I now whole-heartedly agree that there should absolutely be fandom spaces devoid of real world issues. We all need our spaces to rest and relax. I think I just felt weird about your post because previously ive been in fandom spaces which did operate on the (perfectly fine) rule of ‘no politics’…but ‘politics’ would also include talking about a gay ship or any queer headcannons.

That obviously wasn’t fair to you because you obviously didn’t mean that w/ your post, but I can personally see as to why some people would feel that way if they were in similar fandom spaces. I do still want to reiterate I do agree with your post and I think some of the rebloggers took it…a bit far? Like Jesus Christ some of y’all need to eat a snickers. I also think some of the wording like “bitching about world issues” and “whining about their shitty parents” might’ve thrown me off but that’s not your fault and really a non-issue 🤷🏽‍♀️

you can delete this ask if you want I really won’t mind, I think I can just see as to why there were so many ‘yeah, but…’ rebloggers.

I actually really appreciate asks like this. For a multitude of reasons, but also because it gives really good insight and outer perspective for both me and other people who are aware of or involved in the discussion.

I think what a lot of people don't yet grasp about me is that while I may hold an opposing view to yours (general, not directed), in the vast majority of cases I still very much understand why people would think the way they do and where that thought process comes from and goes.

Its very, very easy to fall into the mindset of thinking that not helping when you have the ability to makes you a bad person or however in/directly causes suffering. Its very easy to be in the mindset of one single individual making a magnitude of difference.

I fully and genuinely understand and comprehend a lot of the points being brought up.

I just don't agree with them and hold a different outlook on those issues.

For example:

Talking about enjoying a queer ship to me is not 'political' in the sense that, personally, if you're a homophobe and upset by generic conversations about queer people, I really could not give a fuck. And if you raise objections to me talking about two dudes kissing, I'm simply going to remove you from my space because clearly it is not beneficial for either of us to share it. And I made it.

Its obviously very very much down to personal discretion to decide where that line is and what that bracket encompasses, but I think the most universal aspect of that safe space post was trying to get people to understand that forcing others to suffer in solidarity isn't activism and that strangers are not obligated to allow you to use them as support and a dumping ground for your needs.

Spreading around videos of people's dead loved ones isn't activism.

Spamming taglines and buzzwords on completely unrelated posts and videos isn't activism.

Relying on complete strangers for emotional and mental support and regulation while dumping vulnerable, graphic, personal information on them is neither safe nor healthy.

People are not obligated to smother or confine their happiness because of your misery. If you're having a bad day you have no right to tell other people they can't be happy in front of you.

A lot of people, mostly white knighters and people of color took the post as "a white privileged pig saying its okay to let racism slide because you want to play your video games" (actual hate mail I received) and that's so laughably and wildly far from the actual basis of the post.

I've had bigots in my servers before. Homophobes or racists who've slipped through the cracks.

You know what happens when they say something homophobic or racist?

They're immediately removed, blocked and reported, and their information is placed in a private document I keep. I issue an apology to the members of the server for their actions, and life goes on.

People are, of course, entitled to take the post as they see fit. They're entitled to their own perspectives and opinions. I'm more than happy to simply focus on the people who have taken support, guidance and solace in the post.

[asvtrials]

LUNCH [one.]

Navarro x fem!reader

minors dni!

summary: After a rather nasty breakup with Bjorn you try to avoid the group as much as possible and you're doing a good job until you find yourself in Corbelan IV with your best friend. warnings: angst, not proofread, maybe ooc, swearing, part two will contain smut. a/n: This fic is very much inspired by LUNCH by Billie Eilish specifically the following lyrics "I've said it all before, but I'll say it again, I'm interested in more than just bein' your friend. I don't wanna break it, just want it to bend. Do you know how to bend?" sooo... w/c: 2360

You tried to ignore the continuous vibrations of your wristwatch, continuing to move away from the truck, the rough handles of the box scraping your palms. You let the box hit the ground with a loud thud, the annoying buzzing sound made you groan 

It's been almost a month since you and Bjorn broke up but the hurtful words that were thrown your way still stung you. Who are you kidding, you said some nasty bullshit too.

It was always like that with Bjorn. Some laughs and good sex that left you satisfied to ignore the dysfunction in your relationship, if you can even call it.

He never called it that, never even called you his girlfriend, never asked you out, never told you how much he liked you—unless it was after sex and he was all fucked out. It was always, his ‘friend’, his ‘buddy’, his ‘something’ but you never felt like he was yours. 

So all that bubbling anger and insecurity led to a fight more intense than any you’ve ever had and you stormed out.

You felt guilty every time you came up with an excuse to avoid a meeting until you simply didn't answer at all.

You did this, you distanced yourself from them and you had no right to be hurt but you couldn't help the sting that followed every time you saw the name of the caller

It was always Kay, sometimes Rain and Tyler, and you loved them all. But never the person you considered your closest friend.

Being in such a fickle situation, you often found yourself thinking who would stick around. They were all family and you were just an outsider, even if they never made you feel like it, you knew it was true.

But there was always someone that made you feel like something more. You didn’t know how, or why but she did. Navarro.

You thought you built something, a friendship and you weren't just her brother's boyfriend. But you must've been mistaken, because there wasn't a time you saw her name pop on the wristwatch.

But that didn't matter anymore.

The day was unbearable. Everything was annoying you and you had to restrain yourself from throwing the drill to the ground and walking away several times throughout the day.

When it was finally time to clock out after eleven exhausting hours you rushed to the locker room and got your things.

Normally you'd just walk right out, the supervisors ignoring you like they ignored the rest of the workers, but this time one of them stopped you before you could reach the door.

“Worker #233 your shift isn't finished.”

“What?” You frowned. “Eleven hours, I just clocked out” You argued, turning to face the guard.

“You owe the company eight more hours according to our records.” He spoke, voice monotone.

“What are you talking about? I didn't miss any days and I wasn't late a single day.” You were starting to lose your patience and it was clear in your voice. You just wanted to go home and crash on your bed.

“You have registered to fill in for another worker, yet you never fulfilled the quota. Worker #5583.” He informed you. You stared at him, clearly confused. “Marie Rain Carradine if the files are correct.” He corrected in irritation.

Fuck. 

This one time Rain fell down hard, hitting her knee in the process. The poor girl couldn't even walk straight, so you offered to take her place, take her home, and fill in the hours when you were needed. Did it have to be today?

“You are needed in the spacecraft maintenance department.” He told you, clearly as tired of this conversation as you were. 

“Seriously? Maintenance?” You raised a brow.

“You want to go back to the mines” He countered, quickly silencing you.

You returned to the clock-in room with a loud sigh, not really caring to hide your exhaustion as you approached the counter. You stared at the lady behind the glass, eyes tired and uninterested. 

The lady didn't seem to care as she took your worker's card and scanned it.

“Y/n L/n, right? You are assigned to perform a maintenance assessment on ‘Corbelan IV’.” She announced and gave you back your card, expecting you to get the tools and get out but you stared at the woman with wide eyes. She stared back at you, her gaze confused.

“Corbelan IV?” You asked, hoping you misheard.

“Yes, there's a shortage in staff” She answered unenthusiastically.

No, fuck no.

“Isn't, um, isn't there another ship?” You hesitantly asked. 

Panic started to sip through you while the woman lowered her glasses, staring at you disapprovingly.

“Like— isn't there another ship? Or something—anything, really.” You rambled the more the woman stared.

She raised a brow before pushing the card closer to you and turning back to her computer screen, seemingly done with the conversation.

“Fucking cunt” you mumbled under your breath as you grabbed the card.

You grabbed the tools from the shelf and walked out, the cold air hitting your face again. But you refused to move any faster, trying to stall as much as you could.

You spend too much time on this ship to know that it wasn't just any mining hauler, it was Navarro's baby. And most of the time the entire crew was there “cleaning and checking” it. In reality, you were there to drink and laugh and maybe actually do your work.

When you finally arrived you stared at the enormous craft for a while. This is going to be awkward…

You walked around until you finally found the ladder and pushed yourself up. Once you entered the ship you didn't hear any chatter from inside, even though the gate was wide open.

You just hoped Bjorn wasn’t here and by the quietness that filled this place, you guessed he wasn’t.

You walked deeper into the ship finding the second ladder to the cockpit and climbing, your boots making noise in contrast to how quiet the entire ship was.

“Kay, that you?” 

Navarro. You should have guessed.

You stopped in your tracks, hearing her deep voice after so long sent shivers down your spine.

“Uh, no. Not Kay.” You spoke after a beat.

The silence around you shifted into an uncomfortable silence so intense that you considered turning around and walking away.

But the sound of the small hum forced you to stay put.

No turning back now.

You continued climbing, finally seeing the yellow light of Navarro’s desk light. You forced yourself to lift your eyes once you stepped into the cockpit. 

There she was, awkwardly standing with her arms folded as she leaned against the back of her pilot seat watching you.

“Hey.” She spoke softly. She really tried to seem relaxed but her hand slowly lifted to scratch the back of her neck.

Such a funny habit of hers. You remember trying to keep yourself from giggling every time you saw her in awkward situations. She looked so unbothered until you noticed how she nervously rubbed the back of her neck.

It wasn't funny now.

Your eyes avoided her as you spoke “Hey.”

You remembered the toolbox in your hand and lifted it a bit to hopefully divert her attention to the item.

Her eyes took some time to leave your face, slowly falling to the toolbox. A small frown appeared on her face but it was quickly pushed away. “Oh yeah.” she mumbled.

You tensed as she approached you, leaning closer to you to take the object from your hand. You tried to ignore how close her cheek was to yours or how cold her fingers were when they gently wrapped around yours—well not around your hand but the handle of the toolbox.

Her fingers were always cold, no matter how warm the place was. She would always stand behind you, her tall physique made it very easy for her to rest her chin on your head or shoulder as her hands slid inside your pockets, squeezing your warm hands in hers and laughing when you yelped at the contact.

This time her fingers quickly moved away, taking the box with her. Her boots thud loudly against the metal floor as she walked to her pilot chair and placed the object on the cushiony seat.

The uncomfortable silence made you feel compelled to start the conversation.

“How have you been?” You asked quietly, awkwardly moving closer to her.

“Fine. You?” She answered, her loud rummaging through the toolbox echoing across the empty ship.

You weren't sure If you wanted to be truthful—if she wanted to hear about her brother's ex talking shit about him.

But she was your friend, right? You weren't just Bjorn's girlfriend all this time, right?

You ignored your consciousness screaming for you to keep your mouth shut.

You embarrassingly noticed the sweat that covered your hands and quickly wiped them on your shirt suddenly glad that the girl was turned the other way.

“Not that good, if I'm being honest” You replied with a small sigh.

The girl froze for a moment, not sure how to respond to your honesty. Eventually, she turned to face you with a hesitant smile appearing on her face momentarily “I get it. Breakups are tough.” 

“It wasn't a breakup” You argued, you couldn't contain the bitterness in your tone. “ We were never together to begin with.” 

You wanted to stop—really, but you just couldn't. With a groan, you slumped on a nearby seat.

“I mean don't get me wrong, being in a relationship with someone like Bjorn sounds like an actual nightmare—No offense…” You quickly added, sending Navarro an apologetic look.

“None taken,” Navarro said with a chuckle slowly approaching you. “Trust me, shit-talking Bjorn isn't new to me”

“Yeah.” You laughed, throat closing up a bit when she sat on the seat next to you.

“So I'm all ears. Why do you hate Bjorn—sorry, that asshole” She said with a mischievous smile.

But suddenly you didn't want to talk about Bjorn.

You couldn't.

Having her next to you after so long felt too good. So good that you couldn't stop your lips from curling into a smile.

“I don't want to talk about him.” He murmured, eyes meeting her amused ones.

“I missed talking to you, Varro.” You whispered, bumping her shoulder with your own softly. There was a certain melancholy in your tone, a small question lingering in your mind.

“Why didn't you call?”

You watched the playfulness in her eyes slowly turn into something else, something like guilt.

Maybe she was thinking the same thing, because she wasn't answering, just searching in your eyes for something before suddenly standing

Your eyes followed her with a frown as she walked to the pilot seat sitting down. Everything about her changed. Her friendly demeanor flipped to a much more distant one.

You hesitantly stood up. “I know I didn't answer and all but I didn't know what to say, i mean you guys are Bjorn's family” You tried to defend yourself while staring at the back of her head.

But the only thing Navarro offered you was a slow nod.

“I would've answered to you.” You confessed, blood rushing to your cheeks.

It was true. If Navarro called you you'd pick up the call without a second thought, the idea of hearing her voice enough to make you push past initial awkwardness.

She paid no mind to you, didn't even spare you a glance yet you were standing here like an idiot, essentially begging for her forgiveness. You bit your lip, cheeks burning with shame.

“I know. That's why I didn't call you” The words came out quick. Too quick. Her own eyes widened and she immediately turned to face you, obviously surprised that she let those words slip out.

You just stared at each other for a long beat, not sure what to say.

“That sounded wrong, I didn't mean it like t—” She attempted.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” You shouted, the burning in your cheeks was now a product of anger.

She sighed, running a hand through her buzzed head but her lack of response only fuelled your anger.

“What am I inconveniencing you by coming here? By talking to you?” You asked, not expecting an answer before continuing “I'm sorry Navarro, I thought we were fucking friends!” 

“We are!” Navarro began, attempting to approach you. You could see the remorse in her eyes but you couldn't stand here anymore, the stinging in your eyes becoming unbearable

No, you weren't going to cry here, you weren't going to fall this low.

“Clearly we fucking weren't!” You spoke as you walked to the ladder, climbing down without missing a beat. “Cause it looks like all I fucking was, was Bjorn’s girlfriend that you had to put up with” 

“That's fucking bullshit!” Navarro argued but it didn't matter anymore, you were going down faster, getting out of her eyesight.

The girl walked closer, looking down at you from the gap on the floor but you refused to look up.

“Y/n you can't seriously believe that shit!” Navarro's desperate voice echoed in the ship and as the elevator got closer to the surface of the ship, you jumped down with a loud thud. 

You don't remember how you got out of there. You don't even remember what stupid excuse you came up with to tell the supervisors but you remember Navarro trying to call out your name. 

The moment you got home you tossed your clothes to the ground and got inside the shower.

The moment the water fell on your burning body you felt the walls around you crack. With a choked sob your tears started flowing.

Navarro was special, she was special to you. And you thought you were special to her too.

The way she talked to you, the way she comforted you, the way she looked at you.

When you laid in your bed feeling small and pathetic and a like fucking moron for believing that you weren't just Bjorn's ‘friend’ and now ex all this time.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

HI ITS ME gvxzggsgjfh ok look this is. i know this is a weird one it is SO specific and so obviously something i should just write myself if i want it👏but👏but👏BUT i decided to shoot my shot when a perfect chance has arisenderised for you to pick and choose from anything you like AND in any form, and to see if this one maybe by any chance just so happens to spark anything fun in u too xD

ssssssssssoooooooooooooooooooooo RANDOM EVENT ROLL D20 mc gets bitten by a werewoof or some other kind of "contagious" monster species (....cant really think of anything else other than vampirs, now that i say it) but WAIT THERES MORE because. what if mc insisted that they dont want any potential existent cures, they just wanna stay monstery >:3 JVDTHGLN who's considering it, who would absolutely go in the "its either me or this" direction, who's enthusiastic🤣 this is silly as hell but in the case it sparks joy id love to hear ur any and all thoughts because this idea has been haunting me for forever lmao honestly the best way ive imagined it is like one of your own selfinsert pieces youve posted before where its just all of them together bickering heeheehee💘💕🩷💞💖

love u have fun!!

The Arcana Drabble: MC transforms into a "monster"

In the spirit of things, I though a long drabble/short oneshot would work best to keep the madness going XD

Asra's getting stuck in their "one focus and one focus only" mode and right now that focus is making sure you're okay. He'll decide how he feels later, which isn't being helped at all because Julian keeps calling on him to help him slow down the process and get you to think about this a little more. However, it's hard to tell what exactly Julian wants your decision to be because in between him trying to get Asra to make you think about it some more, he's having all kinds of medical epiphanies about how your anatomy is adjusting to the new monster form:

"MC, let's think about some more, shall we? I'm sure Asra agrees with me - don't you, Asra? Asr - oh, whats this?! Your finger's joints are rapidly adjusting to accommodate for - I need a pen and paper -"

"Right here, Ilya." It's Portia's dismissive tone as she digs a small notebook and pencil out of her pocket that keeps you grounded. Not for long, though, because she can't wait to see what happens next. "Accommodate for what, anyways? Are you growing another joint?? Are you going to get claws??? Talons???? Show me!"

Between Julian jotting down unintelligible notes while he studies your elbow's range of motion, Portia's excited exclamations, and Asra's attempt at soothing touch as they rub your shoulders and ask how you're feeling, it's a miracle you can notice Muriel's quiet mumble in the background. He's clearly overwhelmed and very concerned that the physically-altering substance in general got to your brain first, making you so seemingly okay with turning into a monster.

"MC, do you remember your name? Do you need to take a nap? You don't have to be okay with this -"

"I believe this may warrant far more than a nap to recover from." Nadia's doing her best to keep Lucio calm, holding him back from tackling you much like she might grasp a leash. You can practically see the headache building behind her eyes. "We have yet to determine what the extent of this transformation is and therefore whether our dear MC is even capable of fully agreeing to the current process. MC, darling, did the source of this transformation give you any indication of what the end result would be?"

You'd try to respond, but Lucio's excited yelling is too noisy to shout over. He's fumbling at the fastenings on his cape, distracted by your ongoing changes, and very annoyed at Nadia's interference.

"Where did it go? I want to see if it can give me powers too - OW! Dammit, Noddy, I'm trying to help here! You're keeping me from finding the monster and getting it to give me cool - I mean, getting it to tell us more about what's happening! Don't you want that? Don't you want to help MC, Noddy?! Let me go -"

It's with a loud RIP and subsequent "that was velvet, you know!" that Lucio finally breaks free and sprints off in the direction of your new monster friend. You can feel yourself slowly settling in to your new form as the process shows signs of slowing and reaching completion.

Nadia's facepalming. Portia's looking at you with eyes shining in wonder. Julian's still trying to nag Asra into reversing this as he takes notes. The magician in question is still ignoring him as they ask you how you feel for the nth time. Muriel's eyeing the nearby closet in hopes of taking a nap and waking up to it all being a dream. Lucio's a distant, spiky golden speck at this point.

Faust is quietly trying to sneak her knife into your hand, for crimes.

[creatingnikki]

What I've learned in 2023 (part I)

i. Compatibility is what you are looking for. A compatible home, a compatible partner, a compatible workplace, a compatible friend circle. Compatible with who you are as a person and the kind of life you want to live. Compatible so that you don’t constantly have to use so much of your energy in trying to fight unnecessary battles simply to exist how you are. When the spaces you are in and the people you are with are not compatible with your existence the way it is, the way you want it to be, there will be constant chaos, distress, and conflict for which you will have to use so much energy. But if you are in compatible spaces with compatible people – not ideal, not perfect, simply compatible – then you can use that energy towards creating and building things that matter to you. Because your everyday choices? They are not being questioned, judged, or blocked.

ii. Lessons will keep repeating themselves until you've learned them. So you have to start paying attention. Realizations in themselves are not lessons learned. Change in actions and thought processes is. So, yes, lessons will keep repeating themselves until you learn them. And even once you have learned them. It's like with how we learned the same subjects in school year after year. Just because you learned Geography in grade 5, does not mean you still did not have to in grades 6, 7, 8, and so on. Life lessons too have additional layers, context, and depth. It can all feel very Sisyphean. But the boulder is never the exact same twice. Similar but not identical.

iii. Just because he was a puppy before, does not mean he is not a कुत्ता (dog) right now.

iv. 인연 (in-yeon) is the fate specific to the meeting of two people, the ties two people share over the course of their lives. Someone you have perhaps comes across in your past life/lives in various capacities. And so, yes, when you come across someone you feel comfortable with, can have meaningful conversations with effortlessly, feel a ‘connection’ with, feel the 인연 with it feels special. But 인연 is also the fate of this life. Maybe in this life you’re only meant to share this very limited, very brief, 인연 with someone. Even if you feel this deep connection. Maybe in this life they are not meant to be your soulmate or your best friend. Maybe they are only meant to be your professor or your neighbour. Let it be so. Accept that fate, accept this life’s 인연 with them. No matter the intensity of the connection. Again, let things run their natural course. There is no other way.

v. I am an open book that even a blind man can read. An open book so heavily and aesthetically self-annotated that people can play me like a fool just for shits and giggles. And while I have started to appreciate humour a lot more in life, I am not okay with my candidness, earnestness, and vulnerability being mocked, manipulated, or misused. I am still not clear on how to protect myself in this aspect but I do know two things clearing — first, forcing myself to change who I am at my most authentic core is not the answer. Second, there, however, does need to be some protection. Think of yourself like a special edition, rare precious book in a fancy, restricted-access library. Only members, who loves books, who value books, who take great care of them, and have a track record of doing so can borrow the book/check it out of the library. Essentially, you must be more mindful of who gets access to you. And like you can continue being your real, authentic self, but you do not have to be that all the time and with everybody.

vi. Speaking about vulnerability, let's talk about the semantics of it for a bit. It's The word 'vulnerability' is derived from the Latin word 'vulnus' which literally means — the ability to wound. Why? Why would you do that with people you don't yet know well + trust to be safe? That's why one of the lessons of this year is the realization to get rid of this blanket vulnerability. It's not some sort of strength, it's simply dangerous.

vii. On that note, conversations, even emotional conversations cannot be an indicator of the actual real (lasting) comfort and intimacy and trust between you and the other person. That only happens naturally over time.

viii. So, yeah, timing and time? It is your friend; not a bitch. Allow people and things time to run their course and reveal themselves to you. There’s no need to feel anxious or responsible to make things with somebody flow a certain way because at the end of the day, no matter what you say or do, things will pan out the way they are meant to. So, trying to rush things, trying to lowkey orchestrate them, or putting so much thought into things like how you’re punctuating your texts is futile. What is meant to be is meant to be and feeling FOMO when it comes to people and relationships only really happens when you create elaborate scenarios in your head before even getting to know somebody.

ix. Capturing everything more in videos instead of pictures is precious. That motion of your friend kissing your cheek and that motion of the street cat moving her tale in and out of the sunshine falling on the ground is what you really want to capture and look back on.

[writingoddess1125]

It's Done pt. 3

Part 2 <<<

Asshole Mihawk x Femreader

Angst and Saddness

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It had been nearly 2 months since you'd last seen Mihawk- The day he tried to give his life in a sad attempt to get you to back down.. In truth you were a hot mess for a solid week afterwards- Sobbing hysterically and having to start the process of healing all over again.

You wondered when he got so selfish- to dare treat you like that for nearly 20 years only to try a dirty move like that of wanting to die your husband- When has he ever acted like your husband? When he fucked eveything that moved or insulted your infertility to your face?

It was hard.. terrible even but you started to rebuild all over again. But luckily during those two months you prepared, knowing eventually he would return and you'd be ready.

You sat outside on the padio of your home sipping some tea, taking a gentle breath as you tried to ease yourself... you could already feel it that he was going to arrive-

As if on cue by late noon Mihawk was at your door... unlike before he didn't look like he had rolled out of a dumpster but he didn't look good either- He had lost weight, his skin looking unhealthy and heavy bags under his eyes. He wasn't taking care of himself in the slightest and it was noticable.

"Here to try again?" You said with venom in your voice- Mihawk quietly nodding as he held up the same dirty manilla envelope and this time one of his own.

"Can we just talk first?" He asked softly, You rolling your eyes but nodded and allowed him inside- leading him to the study to allows this meeting to take place. However you made it a point to set down a pistol right on your lap as a warning- Which by his gaze you could tell worried him slightly.

"...I brought back the papers and I brought some of my own. I wanted to see if this would be something you'd be interested in before a divorce" Mihawk started as he handed you the new folder her brought. Taking it you quickly opened it and saw a detailed legal contract- asking for a trial separation, both parties going to couples counseling and individual, promise of no outer relationships for 6 months to establish trust and while it didn't say that at the end you two would end up together but it was clearly implied.

"You're actually serious?-" You deadpanned, glaring at Mihawk.

"Please (Y/N)- Just hear me out.." Mihawk begged- You sighing heavily at this having just wanted the papers to be signed.

"What Mr. Dracule?" You said formally and kept a hand on the pistol.

"I can be better. It's just a temporary separation agreement. Not yet a divorce but just some time for us to- Think and maybe heal?" He suggested and you just felt angry once more.

"Heal? You think I need to heal and think about us divorcing? It is me healing and thinking being away from you Mihawk!" You yelled and he bit his lip- clearly wanting to say more to unsure which direction to go.

"And why should I?" You question, staring at him as he looked down.. you could practically see the shame running through him and the hurt in his gaze.

"Cause I can't live without you- I can't sleep knowing you're not home.. it doesn't feel like home anymore, I don't smell your perfume, don't hear you humming... it feels like I'm lost at sea without a raft and... and..." He stopped, his eyes watering as he looked at you- studying your face like he was seeing you for the first time in years.

"...I..." He sighed heavily- Bowing his head fully as if in defeat.

"You shouldnt..." He finally said which caught you off guard.

"Gods this is all my fault.. it truly is.. I disrespected you, dishonored you and broke our vows.. I have no right to sit before you and ask for anything.. I just didnt want you to absolutely detest me since I do still love you- Ive just been taking advantage of your heart for over two decades.. I see it now.." Mihawk said truthfully- You could hear the true regret in his voice. Total and utter defeat clearly humbling him in some way as he sat there before you..

"Ill sign the papers (Y/N)...I-I just wanted another chance to make this right.. I'm so sorry" He said softly, this being the first time he actually apologized for his wcruons as a whole or what he did to you- Surprise hitting your whole body.

It was silent for a few moments, Mihawk getting up and grabbing the pen from the desk and the semi soiled divorce papers. The ink from your signing runny and bleeding the paper. You doubted it would be accepted in that state-.

However despite the ruined pages he began to sign them. Your own heart breaking ever so slightly as you watched- As he was signing the last page you grabbed his hand stopping him.

"Wait- I can't believe I'm saying this.. but stop" You sigh out- Mihawk staring at you with widened eyes, You pulling away from his hand and staring at the wreck of a man.

"Mihawk I don't think I can find it in myself to forgive you... But I am willing to give the trial separation a try" You sigh, rubbing your temple softly at allowing this small thing.

Mihawks yellow eyes lighting up at hearing this- while this didn't mean you would get back together nor even avoid the divorce. However he simply wanted the chance for you two could be on better terms or even just your to not hate his guts.

"Thank you (Y/N)... Thank you"

Tag List-

@hungrhay @boredperson120 @foggyturtleknightangel @phantom-phantom @scaryinkdemon @shoxji @plan3t-plut0 @lunanight1021 @aleracrovn

[vexedallay]

Your fable tarot cards are. so. cool!! How do you decide which one to do for which person so far? are their any others you have picked out yet?

thank you so much!!!

Ive actually already assigned a character to every card! I started tagging them a while ago actually

My process for tagging all the cards is pretty cool (I think). Each suit (Swords, wands, pentacles, cups) is assigned a different realm, with the major arcana cards being the sherbverse (and others that don't really fit anywhere else). For each of the suits, the ace is the realm itself, the king is the major god, queen is their lover, knight is the child of the major god, and the page is their right hand. From there, the number cards are assigned based on the meaning of the card (or other factors - aax is a 4 by default, for example). With the major arcana, I did lean more heavily on the design of the card itself to tag the characters, but many of them are still very much based on the cards' meaning.

Im not going to give a full list of how I've tagged every character, but I will say that the realms are tagged as follows: overworld -> swords, nether -> wands, end -> pentacles, and aether -> cups. I've also included every single player character as a card, and many of the gods made it onto the list as well (esp gods not from the overworld)

Some other fun cards I like the tagging of are: Ajax -> The Tower, Raemond/Everett Morningstar -> The Lovers, Lennarius -> 9 of Wands, and Haley -> 4 of Cups. I'm not going to go too far into the meanings of those cards here, but feel free to look them up if you want!!

[aihoshiino]

ive seen interpretations of both but do you think ayumi's abuse of ai only started once the stepdad starting to uh make eyes at her or if it already was a thing before but escalated due to it?

I'm pretty certain and always have been that Ayumi was abusive to Ai the entire time she was in her care - 131 just clarified the shape of it and its point of explosive escalation.

Even prior to that, I was pretty firm in my reading that Ai did not have anything resembling a normative upbringing in her mother's household. Even before we have any of the details about that relationship presented to us, Ai says herself in chapter 1 of the manga no less that she has 'always wanted' a family because she does not have one. As 131 tells us, Ai didn't leave her mother's house until she was nine or ten years old at the very least. She was raised by Ayumi for ten years and still considers herself to be a person who never had a family.

We see this clarified in chapter 8 where Ai more explicitly talks about her abuse: Ayumi abandoned her to the care system after her arrest, which Ai frames as preferable to "getting hit", making it more or less explicit that Ayumi was, in fact, physically violent towards her outside of the incident we hear about in 45510. However, the most damning part of this scene to me comes from elsewhere:

"I don't remember ever being loved."

Even by her own mother. Ai has no memory of ever being loved by Ayumi. We get a reiteration of this idea during Ryosuke's attack on her, as Ai says over and over: she doesn't understand love. She doesn't know how to love people, no matter how desperately she tries.

This by itself is all very alarming before you ever account for Ayumi's violence. Remember that Ai cannot be any older than 11 or 12 years old here and yet this is still how she chooses to describe herself: as a person with no memory of ever being loved. As an antisocial liar, a people-hating liar. A twelve year old child should not be able to even think of herself in these terms, let alone articulate them.

There's a lot of other small hints scattered around, too— Ai is implied to have some anxieties relating to food security and she is shown to be quite short and slight even by the standards of an average Japanese woman, which possibly implies a history of not being fed enough or not having access to food as and when she needed to eat. During her big Ai research session, Akane even directly says that, with the way Ai's personality turned out, there's no way she could have come from a good home environment.

Ai's personality isn't the only red flag here, though. Ayumi herself and the way she talks about both Ai and her abuse of Ai when Aqua finally speaks to her in person paints a very clear picture of the sort of mother she likely was, even in the short amount of time that we have page time with her. I did a much longer analysis of her in a previous post but to TL;DR it, Ayumi spends the entire conversation simultaneously backpedalling at breakneck speed from any claim of agency and responsibility in her abuse of Ai while also placing the blame of that abuse on Ai herself.

Not only that, but here's something I just caught on reviewing the chapter right now — Ayumi never even actually admits to abusing her daughter. Pay attention to how she describes the series of events: She became angry at her boyfriend, jealous of her daughter and then… their family just 'fell apart'. There is a glaring hole, a missing step in this process and that missing step is her violence towards Ai. The closest she ever gets to acknowledging any sort of mistreatment is her saying that she would just "wind up hurting" Ai if they were together again, which is about the most understated nothing sentiment imaginable. Of course Ayumi can never atone for what she did. She can't even fucking admit it.

The way Ayumi disavows herself of agency while centering Ai as holding responsibility for her own victimization and abuse combined with Ai's own personality pretty much makes it explicit to me that Ayumi was emotionally abusive to Ai for all her life. Specifically, I think Ayumi was probably the sort of mother that is colloquially referred to as a "narcissistic mother" - specifically, I think she falls under the umbrella of 'covert narcissist'. While discussing this type of behavior, psychologist Craig Malkin said "Covert narcissists feel special because they believe their pain is more important than others". Covert narcissism is defined by jealousy, difficulty maintaining meaningful relationships, projection of insecurities onto others (in this case, from mother to daughter) and an inability to handle criticism or cop to their own behavior. Sound like someone we know?

Another big tell is just… honestly, looking at any list of the long term effects of this kind of abuse on children. Growing up under this kind of parenting leads to a whole host of issues, but most relevant to my point here is as follows:

Hyper-vigilance towards other peoples' feelings

Poor emotional intelligence; specifically, a lack of comprehension of your own emotions

Unhealthy desires for validation from other people and tendencies towards codependency in relationships

Perfectionism and/or self destructive tendencies, either separately or in parallel

Low self esteem, poor self image, high levels of self doubt and self criticism.

If you're reading that list and going wow! this is basically just a Greatest Hits of everything wrong with Hoshino Ai! then congratulations because you successfully completed my thought experiment for me. I've described the effects of Ayumi's abuse as running through Ai like fault lines before and this is the sort of thing I mean.

I also don't want to leave it unspoken that like… violence the likes of which Ayumi subjected Ai to does not come from nowhere. A normal, loving parent does not escalate to putting fucking glass in her daughter's food no matter what the hell else is going on in their life. It's unclear whether Ayumi's physical abuse of Ai was something that only started after the incident with her stepfather or if it was an aspect of the ongoing abuse she subjected Ai to all her life, but I simply don't think it's possible with everything the manga has laid out, explicitly and implicitly, about their relationship that Ayumi was ever a loving mother to Ai or that the two of them ever had a remotely normal relationship. In a horrible way, Ayumi's abandonment of Ai was the kindest thing she ever did for her, because it means she finally got the fuck out of her life.

[imustbenuts]

ouggh could you please elaborate on your criticism of brave Alfonse ...I like hearing your thoughts (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)

alright. so this is just a messy sloppy thought vomit essay again im so sorry in advance.

and i am salty overall about this.

in 2 words: traditional conservatism

in many many words:

ALFONSE. OPEN UP YOUR WAY CARVE YOUR OWN PATH WHAT ARE YOU DOINGGGGGG IF YOU ARE SAYING HE HAS POTENTIAL JUST. FUCKING. COMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU COWARDS! HAAAAAAAAAAAUGHHHHHHHHHHHHG learn from your dad's ruling policy yes but don't become your dad and carve for the affection you cannot have jfc

IN MORE WORDS

gustav is. objectively speaking, not a good father in the emotional growth department. I've mentioned and maintained by him looking like an Asian tiger parent from my pov. even if he does lay out proper foundations and maybe good hc adjacent policy for country ruling, his approach of parenting is questionable at best.

I get him operating under pressure and sickness with a limited time left to raise his son in a manner befitting of the throne but like. All sink and no swim? No proper explicit guidance? You can't just be "I want my child to meet expectations and dispense no love", that's just straight up neglect my guy. hes very much the 2 faced proud big important parent person.

realistic, but yuck.

i dont think they even have a father son moment probably ever. Henriette and Gustav have a more functional relationship bc they actually dated and had proper human interaction, but it's likely given cultural asian and high expectations context irl, his kids were treated more like objects and successors. Despite everything he might have felt and expressed behind the scenes. again, the affection is not expressed and conveyed directly enough to his kids, and alfonse being his successor means. alfonse has major daddy issues and anxiety about succeeding the throne.

So now, brave alfonse, having lost this dad and understandably craving for fatherly affection and going through it in the plot, is. you know. in the process of redefining himself. arguably is always, but now, its either he's the successor of, King Gustav the Great II or The Next King of Askr. his role as with many many other of his type are to be a signifier of a new era. thats the whole point of successors!

hes even all "ILL OPEN THE WAY". implying that something before wasnt working out and a new path must be blasted open for a better future. thats the whole theme.

But the effect of Alfonse donning his fathers armor in this case is not respect, it reeks of insecurity! again, does alfonse know his father as Gustav The Person to a reasonable degreee? if by that we mean a neglecful parent but a decent king, okay. but why is there a need to repeat this cycle by wearing from head to toe, from body language to skill 1:1 of his dad. howis this a good thing...

dude. what the hell is intsys doing. do i need to call their parents or what the hell is this conservative traditional filial pathetic nonsense. what the hell happened to all of the other fire emblems who are 5 steps more progressive than this

(granted i do find FE to be very conservative on the whole now that ive stewed in the pot of it all but thats a me thing. it could also be dependant on the writer but idk them well enough to know who does what)

and heres my ideal fucking scenario, right. not very hard. id argue just picking up gustav's mantle OR axe and then working it into a new outfit that is explicit alfonse's would be miles better and what i would want. a signifier that alfonse the character knows himself and wants to walk his own path while honoring the good parts of gustav and discarding the bad.

not this. reanimation method of almost wanting to wear his fathers' skin. as if he cant move on and stand on his feet. as if hes unsure. as if they dont want him to commit (at least not yet bc we gonna milk FEH for as much as we can). despite. all the things that have been happening.

instead of rolling with the punches the armor feels like him not doing that. it might have been an easy alt to decide on, but character wise, i dislike it a lot.

[ofmdee]

😵

been having some thinky thoughts today, and for a while, rly, abt my Feelings abt breathing underwater and i tried to type something up on twitter but that jsut was not letting me think my thoughts correctly

i love BU........... so goddamn much. it started out as nothing more than a silly idea abt little mermaid ed meeting stede and kind of ballooned into what ive built it up into today. it's so important to me... but it's making me a little miserable right now?

miserable because i dont want to work on it, but i WANT TO want to work on it, i want to tell this story and read the finished product, ive got so many ideas, but i just. cannot get myself to do the actual WORK of making sentences and then staging all the pics........... what used to be a fun little pastime now feels like a chore, an obligation, a compulsion almost. it sucks, but it sucks more NOT doing it, you know what i mean? idk.

i know ive built it up into this big THING to myself, like... idk, i do this so often, i have big ideas and love to plan and organize them and then i get going with such intensity until i abruptly fizzle out. i start things and dont finish them, and i guess i just rly dont want this to be another thing that gets thrown on my unfinished projects pile :/

i have the next 2 parts drafted, but every time i go back to poke at them and edit them i just get so disheartened because it's obvious that my heart wasn't really in writing them, and it's difficult to salvage a rough draft like that. part of me wants to just delete those parts entirely and say fuck it im taking an indefinite hiatus, and i will start fresh when this is fun again! which would probably be the best thing, actually, but... i am reluctant to do that, because i just dont have anything else to rly fill my time rn.

i havent been getting a lot of joy out of... anything, rly, for a long time now, im so bored and apathetic and even my normal go to things arent cutting it anymore. and idk if it's a depression thing or if im truly outgrowing some interests, but either way i know i need to get more Things in my life somehow, because writing and sims are my two biggest pastimes, and then i combined them, and then i got sick of both so ive got so little to go on! so i keep poking at the things that i used to love, hoping to find that spark again 😪 i love these little guys and their little world!!! and it makes me sad that im not actually having Fun with the PROCESS.

it doesn't help that i am constantly torn between man i wish more ppl read my fic!!! i work so hard on it!! and man i never want anyone to perceive me or my writing ever it's so amateur!! idk what i want and idk what i want to DO about it!!

so, idk!! idk where this is all going, lol, i just... wanted to try and organize these thoughts somehow.

trying to reason w myself that at the end of the day, i am writing a fanfiction. that's it. it's not that big of a deal, and yet it feels huge to me, somehow. I don't wanna let down the ppl who are reading it, and i dont wanna let myself down again, either.

BUT it's not supposed to make me feel miserable it is supposed to be fun i am lowkey crying rn because like urghghghgh why isnt it fun?!!?!

so. i think i gotta do some more thinking, because not making any kind of decision is making things worse! and idk, if all of this hasnt put u off of the idea of my fic, here is the series page lmfao i could use some encouragement i guess......

but i am going to seriously put more thought into an official hiatus, because i think i am getting Too preoccupied with it again and it's messing with me!!!

i actually had a decent time doing those kitty ed pics today, even tho they didn't do so hot, so maybe i am just gonna try to focus on that kind of thing, doing stuff that actually catches my attention, and also doing things without the intention of sharing them at all. allowing things to be messy. i get so caught up in the thought of someone else seeing my work that i paralyze myself trying to make it PERFECT.

i had a decent time doing that oneshot from ed's pov as well. so maybe i need to work on projects that are a bit smaller scale. i dont have to say goodbye to BU stuff forever, but i am just so ALL OR NOTHING that it feels like a way bigger decision than it actually is 😓

so i guess....... im gonna sleep on it for a while. think about it and try and come to a firm decision. because if i take a break, i need to REALLY take a break, which includes not thinking about it all the time and constantly beating myself up for not doing it 😅

idk, thank you if you read this far, here are a few kitty pics of ed for ur time:

[majesticwren]

this is part II of this previous smutty one-shot. That one is still a stand-alone but, after this point, it is officially a multichaper. part III to come soon. edit: part III is done. be advised, this entire project is done solely for my pleasure, I am indulging myself so much with this. the angst that it carries (because yes there will be more coming - I am very good very evil) it's the energy I crave please don't come for me and trust the process I'll feed you smut. it is edited but not proofread. enjoy. a/n: hi :) me again back at it. I didn't like the first draft of this so I finally went back in and made it a little extra poly/gay with some more chemistry between kyle and will because I needed it. thank you bye 💕

trigger warning/s: angst angst angst, poly relationship dynamics, reference to sex, reference to threesome, smut, oral f receiving, shit loads of misunderstandings and miscommunication, swearing, OFC is unhinged and is her own trigger warning.

<- part I | part III -> prequel part I -> | part II -> | part III -> | part IV -> Masterlist

Erika sat still and collected. She had already been told off a few times because she was too fidgety so, now, it became a game of control on her own subconscious and nervous system. She was releasing her frustration on biting the inside of her cheek and lips instead. It was just as bad as bouncing her knee or just generally being unable to sit still and empty handed for longer than thirty seconds, but it was better manageable when her nail technician required her absolute stillness to work.

Not that she was winning. Not at all. Her mind was too busy. But, at least, it was fun to pretend she had everything under control. Everything was fine. Erika kept repeating it to herself like a prayer. She truly believed if she did it for long enough it would have become true. Because the alternative was heaving a breakdown, and she couldn’t afford one of those. Not when it risked to jeopardize the precarious balance her life had.

She was happy. She had been happy for a very long time. She had no right to suddenly feel like her very lucky, very privileged life could be somehow tight. And yet, she couldn’t shake her the claustrophobic feeling of being trapped in a small box. Which was exactly why she spent every waking second feeling guilty and every sleeping moment being tormented by her subconscious painfully reminding her about everything she didn’t have.

It wasn’t fair. And not because she thought the universe was torturing her, but because she was aware she was the problem. 

She was a wild card; which was all fun and games until she got to moments of her life like that one when she decided she needed a revolution. 

When she was younger, she tended to act out. Sometimes she thought her family was too nice, so she went and created problems. Sometimes she hated being pretty and how easy life seemed to be, so she would become nasty. Sometimes people would assume she was nothing more than a pretty face, and she would think about the smartest, cruellest way to get revenge. Sometimes all Erika craved was attention and would indulge in sex, alcohol or drugs abuse to get what she wanted. It started when she was very young, some may say too young to understand the consequences of her actions. Her brother helped her out of most of the shit she found herself drowning into even before she was eighteen.

And then she met Kyle.

He had been different from any other guy or girl she had ever interacted with. She knew since the very beginning he was special to her; she was attracted to him like a moth to light. It was impossible for her to stay away. But he too became a rebellious act she did in spite of Mark when her brother noticed her interest, assumed wrong of her intentions and suggested her to stay away from Kyle because he had no intention of seeing her breaking his heart. So, she took him literally and proceeded to do exactly what Mark had asked her not to. She broke Kyle’s heart. And it took her time to understand her mistake and fix it. 

Thing was, she wasn’t a teenager anymore. She hadn’t allowed herself to act on a whim in a very long time and she wasn’t about to justify herself to risk to ruin her perfect fairytale life. 

She got to do the job of her dreams, having a career many would kill for, not only that but she was also making good money for her skill. And she got to travel the world side by side with her amazing, beautiful and talented boyfriend, making many friends along the way. It felt nothing but privilege to her. Some may had been deserved, but privilege all the same. 

The idea that she was going to possibly ruin it all was terrifying.

But, everything was fine, she reminded herself.

“So,” Regina, the girl working on her nails, sent her a curious look from the other side of the table. “You look very pretty today. I see you had your lashes done?”

“Just this morning,” Erika nodded, “and my hair too.”

“I see,” the girl’s look became suddenly cheeky. She was a proper chatter-box who lived for the scandalous gossip her clients brought to the salon. They all were. There and at the hair salon just across the way. Which was mostly pleasant and harmless, but Erika had a feeling of what was coming and didn’t have the patience to hold a conversation. “Any special occasion?”

She shrugged. “Just a little party between friends.”

“Oh?”

“My brother is coming back from Australia after a month,” Erika decided to give in a little, “we organised a small gathering for him.” 

“You are an awful lot beautiful for just a casual event.”

“Can’t change perfection, sorry darling,” Erika giggled, finding some soothe in the distraction that conversation brought.

Regina chuckled too. “And what about your dashing boyfriend? Is he gonna be there?”

Erika grinned proudly, knowing very well how pretty Kyle was and how much attention he always got. Thankfully she wasn’t the jealous type. “Of course. You might be in for a treat actually,” Erika raised her chin, basking into her own bragging. “He is around and will pick me up when I’m done.”

“Oh,” Regina shook her shoulders, all excited, “You just made my day. Girls!” she called referring to the rest of the salon, “Erika’s boyfriend is popping by!” A small burst of celebrations occurred between the girls present, someone clapped, someone tapped the work surface and a few howled, just for everyone to then cheer joyfully. Erika too, giggled to herself allowing herself to let go of some of her concerns.

Thinking about Kyle made it better. Mostly.

“You will understand what we mean as soon as you see him,” Regina hinted to the girl sitting next to Erika, who was giving everyone very suspicious looks. “I tell you these Australians are something else.”

Erika shook her head, rolling her eyes. “What can I say, eh? We are the best country in the world, after all.”

“Well, tell me about this party, girlie,” Regina continued, focusing back on the final details her nails. “Are all your famous friends going to be there?”

“No,” any trace of joy left Erika. She huffed as enthusiasm washed off her. She was just exhausted. “Just a couple,”

“Well? Cheer up, love, what’s that sudden long face for? You can’t be all done up like this and be sad. Not on my nails.”

“I’m sorry Regina,” Erika sighed, “I am just tired, it’s been a long day and I haven’t slept at all well.”

“I bet. With a guy like your boy, I’d struggle to sleep every night too.”

Erika chuckled. She knew exactly how to respond to keep that little chitchat going, just to occupy time, but she didn’t say it. She was done talking. Not because she didn’t enjoy it, only because she was done holding up a mask. Her social battery was running out so quickly and she still had to deal with the last bits to get ready for the party and the event itself.

It wasn’t like she wasn’t looking forward seeing her brother after so long. She was so happy he was coming back to the UK; she missed him so much. But the idea of a party with all their close friends was enough to make her feel exhausted already. To be precise, it was the idea of a party with Will present that made her feel completely overwhelmed. 

Will was her problem.

Her chest still ached thinking about how cold and awkward it had been between them ever since the night they spent together. He didn’t seem to have any problem with Kyle, they kept spending as much time together as they could. Which wasn’t a surprise. But with her he was a completely different guy.

They hadn’t talked since the morning after. And ever since, Will had been plainly avoiding her. If they were so unlucky to cross paths, the words they exchanged were brief and distant. No eye contact.

Saying she was heartbroken wasn’t enough. 

Erika was aware they only had sex once and no one had talked about feelings. Yet, she wasn’t prepared to be treated so awkwardly. Especially after what they had. It meant something to her. It meant something Will stayed that night and they all slept snuggled on each other. It meant something that she now knew the scent of his skin or how he snored when he was on his right side. 

Being aware of what they shared and that Will now took part of her away, even if he wasn’t willing to accept it, was the only thing she had been able to think about. And it was her burden to carry. Every time she had to remind herself how things were going to be carved a deeper hole into her chest. And at the same time there was a need, a hunger, gnawing at her bones, leaving her feeling cold. And alone.

The most shameful part of it was that she didn’t have the heart to open up with Kyle about it. For the first time, she found herself keeping secrets from him. 

She felt dirty every second and she knew Kyle was trying his best to understand her and leaving her space, although she also knew he was hurting knowing something was happening. It was a price she was willing to pay, though. She had no intention of being the reason to slip any doubt in between him and Will. 

Erika had tried to soothe whatever was going on between them in the second-best way she knew how to be close to Kyle, since she had decided not to talk with him, and that was through sex. They had a way of always finding each other when they were intimate. It created a connection that was able to reassure her and take away some of her pain. Although the thought of Will was never gone for long.

She had thought about it long and hard. For some time, she had even started to get extremely concerned, wandering whether or not she had made the biggest mistake of her life and had cheated on Kyle right in front of him. But then she pretty quickly realised that wasn’t the case. The worth Kyle had to her was unchanged, Kyle still owned her heart. Only now it also ached for someone else too. 

“Oh,” Regina cooed, “heads up,” the moment she hinted to the entrance door, the bell ringed, announcing someone’s arrival. 

Erika followed Regina’s gaze and immediately melted into a warm smile as she recognised Kyle. Her body relaxed, her skin warmed up and her spirit shone a little brighter for him. 

“Hey,” she chirped.

The salon seemed to fall into an awe. Erika was hoping it was only her impression, although she didn’t miss the awkward, timid look Kyle sent all around. The more eyes set on him he found, the more his cheeks blushed. 

He held his half empty gym bag in one hand and was still wearing his gym gear, which was composed of baggy shorts and an unmatching old hoodie he had ripped the sleeves off only so he could show his arms. It was incredible how effortless his prettiness was. He could still look so attractive even in the lowest maintenance circumstances. It was mind blowing.

“Hey baby,” his voice broke her train of thought, “you ok?”

“Your girlie here seems to be very tired,” Regina looked directly at him, sending him a challenging look, “she said you keep her up all night.”

“Pardon?” Kyle blushed violently. His pale eyes glimmered of interest as he looked back at Erika, puzzled but amused as a timid smile peeked on his lips. 

“Nothing. Ignore her, please,” Erika sent a warning glare to Regina, hoping she could behave herself.

Kyle cleared his voice and nodded, “Right. Are you almost done?” He wondered leaning in to give her a quick kiss on the lips.

Erika looked back at Regina who nodded, looking at her own work on her nails. “Almost. Ten, fifteen minutes?”

Kyle’s attention didn’t move from Erika. “Do you want me to come back?”

“No,” Regina replied instead, offering a kiss-ass grin, “stay, have a seat on out booth, we got lovely colourful magazines and fresh cucumber water! Just ask.”

To his sudden confusion, Erika chuckled, leaning her head back as she looked up at him. “You are very popular in this establishment baby, you might want to consider switching career.”

“Oh, yeah?” he wondered leaning in for another kiss, causing some of the women around them to ooh them. “And what would you have me do, ladies?”

“Just stand there and be pretty. That’s more than enough.” Erika explained. 

Kyle offered a large smile to everyone present. “I see. Well, I’ll be sitting over there where everyone can easily look at me while you finish up.”

“Thank you,” Erika cooed and looked at him as he crossed the small salon and dropped himself on the small booth by the door. 

“Will says hi, by the way,” he casually began, opening up a random magazine. 

Erika choked. 

She turned towards Regina, as if hiding away could somehow shoo off the feelings that hit her like a landslide of heavy boulders rolling above her chest. So many questions crowded her mind, but, above anything, she was outraged.

What did it mean that Will said hi? Just like that? Casually? Like nothing happened? Was that the next step? From the awkwardness of knowing they saw each other naked and had sex to the complete denial it even ever happened? Was she that forgettable? And why would Kyle just say it like that? Like it was the most normal thing in the world? Did he think nothing happened too? That night meant nothing to him? Was he truly so blind not to notice how she was hurting and how Will hadn’t talked to her in a week? 

Or did they simply just decided to continue hang out with each other without her?

The room around her felt suddenly too small to breathe. The low murmur surrounding her and the ambiance music became too loud to bear. She felt like she was falling into a black void and sit there, unable to move, was unthinkable.

“Are you ok?”

Erika ignored Regina, shaking her words with a shrug. “Yes. Can you hurry up?”

“I mean I have the last layer of polish to do,” Regina frowned, “are you not feeling well?”

“No, I am ok, thank you. Just finish up, I just remembered I have something urgent I need to do.”

Erika barely managed to sit after that. She felt uncomfortable in her clothes, under her own skin. When her nails were finally done, she had never bolted out of that place as quickly as she did. Generally, she’d indulge in some small chit-chat and a drink or their flavoured water, just as courtesy. Not that time. She didn’t even stop to give Kyle the time to get up.

“Hey,” he shouted at her as she went through the door, “Hey, Erika, hold on,” he continued and when she didn’t stop for him, he grabbed her arm, bringing her to a hold. “Baby, what’s wrong?

She hissed, shaking her head. “Nothing is wrong. Let’s just go. Mark will land in a few hours,” 

“Yes. I know. I am the one who needs to go pick him up.” Erika tried to escape his hold, but Kyle held on, his grab was gentle but solid. “Will you stop one second? What happened? What did I do?”

Her heart was squeezed between guilt and regret. Erika raised a hand to him, cupping his cheek. “Nothing.” God, she wished she could pick him up and press him into her chest, “You had done nothing wrong; I just want to go home.”

How much she wished that could be enough. She wanted to drown into his eyes and disappear.

Kyle hesitated. His eyes cruised on her face, trying to read the answers he wanted from her features. And still, he kept his tongue tied.

He knew. She was aware Kyle knew something was up. He had known since the very beginning and she knew he was smart enough to connect the dots, only he never dared to overstep. Even though she desperately needed him to shake some sense into her.

He let her go, releasing a soft huff. “Ok.” He raised his hands peacefully, “Let’s take you home.”

“I’m gonna be late,” Kyle pushed his face in the crook of her neck, brushing his lips on her collarbones. 

She released a soft giggle, bending underneath him. “Passport control always takes ages,” Erika argued, wrapping her legs around his waist and keeping him exactly where he was standing in response. “Mark can wait,” she purred, her hands were all over Kyle as she sat back on her vanity table surface, pulling him closer.

He caught her lips in a heated kiss, unable to deny her. His big hands moved on her sides and down to her thighs. As soon as his palms touched her skin, Erika purred, melting under him. He easily lifted up the soft material of the silk shift she was wearing, exposing her.

“You are so bad,” Kyle pressed his smile on her chin, “you’d let your own brother wait all alone in the airport after the longest flight ever just to have some more sex.”

“Yes,” she pouted, ready to beg if necessary, “you should take it as a compliment.”

They had been going at it ever since they came home. Everything that was supposed to be said, everything that they were supposed to talk about, that Kyle wanted to ask and Erika needed to say, was forgotten once more just so they could find their connection skin on skin. 

It was blissful. Selfish, maybe, from both parts. And yet tremendously sweet. When she was between Kyle’s arms her mind was quiet and she felt safe. There was nothing threatening to hurt them. Nothing wrong.

And she simply couldn’t let go.

They had sex already twice in the midst of getting ready but it didn’t seem like they were done. It was easy for her to forget she was supposed to concentrate on doing her makeup and let him finish to dress up to go and pick up Mark. 

Kyle followed her neck, down to her chest, kissing, licking and nibbling on her soft, sensitive skin. When he continued down her sternum, unbothered by the thin material dividing him from her direct skin, Erika understood his intention and encouraged him with a soft whimper. 

He kneeled in front of her throwing her legs over his shoulders. His hands traced to her waist, surrounding her like a belt and holding her steady. His attention was only for her as he looked up, pale blue eyes glimmering with hot lust. 

“I do not have time,” he reminded her, bending his head and pressing his lips against the inside of her thigh, “but I can’t leave you knowing you are so needy.”

“No, you can’t,” her breath was hot and heavy as she looked at him move. “God,” she dared to chuckle, pushing a hand into his hair and keeping balance with the other. “You are so pretty in between my thighs it fucking hurts.”

“Yeah?” He wondered, only pretending not to be aware of the effect he had on her. The smirk he pulled gave her a shiver. He kissed higher up on her thigh. His lips were close to her core she felt his hot breath on her exposed flesh, and yet not giving her the satisfaction yet. 

She whimpered, nodding and stretching, feeling her need to find pleasure becoming an inconvenient ache pressing on her abdomen. “Please, Kyle,”

He didn’t let her waste anymore breath. Holding her steady, he pushed his face into her, and ate her up like she was made of honey. Erika almost lost every faculty as soon as his tongue caressed her folds, and she was completely gone by the time he started sucking her flesh. A moan vibrated through his chest, sending her to another planet.

The air soon filled by the obscene noises of Kyle’s mouth wrapped around her sex, accompanied by her moans. She wasn’t even trying to keep quiet by then. 

Pleasure started to build up inside of her stomach, sending electric shivers all across her limbs. Erika barely managed to balance herself up with an arm, but she didn’t care, she craved to push her fingers deeper between his hair just to hold him. In response, he looked straight up at her. His blue eyes were astonishingly beautiful. Making eye contact in such a moment was ravaging, so powerful her skin crawled with goosebumps, as pleasure only built. 

Erika didn’t take long to reach her edge and didn’t do anything to try and hold herself. She let herself go as her pleasure took over, growing through her, tensing her muscles as shivers crawled on her skin. Kyle skilfully guided her through her pleasure, following the movement of her hips and the quickness of her breath to know when she got close reaching her orgasm and then, he gave her exactly what she wanted, exactly what she needed, accompanying her through her release. She unravelled against him, her body shaking uncontrollably between his arms, as she called his name, lost in yet again another wave of pure bliss.

She then watched him rising to his feet. They were both out of breath. Erika felt pure electricity flowing in between them and under her skin and when he cleaned his chin and mouth up with his hand, she quivered, biting down on her lower lip not to beg him for more.

She needed another shower. A freezing cold one.

Erika slid her hands across his bare chest, looking at the scratch marks she left on his skin with extreme pride. “I wish we could just be like this all the time.”

“What? Having sex instead of being responsible and do adult things?”

“Precisely.” She looked away hiding from him, herself and everything else. The moment he’d leave her she would have only gone back to go insane again.

Kyle smiled softly. It was like he caught a glimpse of her sadness and, cupping her face, he made her look back at him. “I wish you talked to me,” his sweet request hit her right in the middle of the chest and ripped her apart. “You know I am here for you and I will always give you what you want. But I wish you’d tell me what’s wrong.”

She froze. Erika wished she could quit being that way. She wished it was just easier; she wished she let herself accept it could be easier. Instead, she pushed him away. “Yes,” she murmured sadly, “I know.” Erika attentively got back on her feet, still feeling her legs weak underneath her.

Kyle nodded. Her closing up to him once more was clearly something that hurt him. She saw it, she knew him well enough, and just wished she could be different.

She tried. For a moment they looked at each other and she truly tried to make her thoughts and emotions into words, but the knot in her throat silenced her. Her hesitation costed her their moment because Kyle was the one who broke eye contact and let her go.

He moved across the room and in the bathroom, quickly making himself presentable before slipping into the clean t-shirt he had already put on twice before and that had been promptly removed and thrown on the floor twice over. Then, he quietly picked a pair of white sketchers and sat on the edge of the bed to put them on.

Erika wanted so bad to pretend everything was ok. They just spent a couple of hours having fun, ignoring responsibilities to just fool around with each other, yet the air between them was suddenly frosty. She still faked it. She was so good at it. She pulled her stool back in front of the table and sat back down, looking at herself in the mirror. 

She was a mess. Her makeup needed to be re-done. She needed a thick mask to cover up all the hurt showing in her eyes.

“Is it Will?” Kyle finally broke the silence. “Actually, don’t answer to that. I know whatever is going on with you is connected to Will. I am not stupid.”

Erika closed her eyes and looked away, hiding from her own reflection and Kyle’s gaze in the mirror. “We don’t have time for this.”

“We do. Passport control takes ages,” Kyle reminded her. “Erika, please, it’s me. Tell me. I need to know if I did something wrong, somehow?”

“You didn’t. You never would,” Erika turned over to him, “But please, I am begging you, I can’t deal to talk about Will.”

“Did he hurt you?” His voice was suddenly so severe it scared her.

“What!?” She shook her head, “No! Of course, not.” Despite the fact that he hadn’t acknowledged her for days now and that distance between them was hurting more than she could ever say.

“Then what? What happened the other night that made you have such a change of heart? I thought you enjoyed yourself.”

“I did,” Erika needed to reassure him. Now more than ever she noticed the frustration he felt in his inability to reach her. There was something tormenting him in and now he wasn’t hiding how desperately he wanted to fix whatever was hurting her.

Erika got up and quickly moved to him. Her hands moved around his face without her even thinking about it, she needed to touch him to make contact. “I did enjoy myself. I wanted it.” Erika had to fight not to let memories flood into her mind.

“Then what is it? I left you your space and I don’t mean to overstep, but I thought you’d take a moment and then you’d look for me. But you haven’t. You are shutting me out.”

“I am not,” she knew he was right and still proceeded to deny it, “I did look for you.”

“When? You are over there and I am over here, I feel you slip away through my fingers.”

Erika took his hand and pressed it against her own chest, letting him feel her taking a deep breath. “I just did. I do it all the time.”

Kyle shook his head. “Sex isn’t enough anymore, Erika. I need to know what’s going on in your head. In your heart. I can’t take it anymore, please tell me what’s wrong. Tell me how to fix it.”

“You can’t fix it,” she shook her head, “It will pass. It doesn’t matter.”

“It clearly matters. It matters to you. It matters to me. And it matters to Will.”

Erika chuckled sarcastically, shaking her head. “Well about that I doubt.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means nothing. Kyle, please,” she huffed, trying to regulate her emotions in a way that wasn’t falling into an argument with the only person who didn’t deserve any of what she was throwing at him. “Go and pick up Mark. Let’s get through the party and then,”

“Then what? Will you talk to me then?”

“If I say yes?”

“I want to believe you.” Kyle looked up at her, defeated, “I need to believe you. But I don’t.”

“Ok, I can deal with that. What I can’t deal with is talking about Will now.”

“You will have to deal with him sooner or later, he is going to come over.”

“Yes, I am aware.”

“I just don’t understand what happened. You just shut both of us out.”

“Kyle,” Erika shook her head, “please, I am begging you.”

He looked so hurt. And so precious. Erika felt the need to scream and break something. It wasn’t fair, he didn’t deserve being treated that way. And yet she couldn’t bring herself to do anything different. In her chest guilt and shame vibrated, twisting her stomach painfully.

“Right,” Kyle dropped it, “fine.” He got up and leaned in, softly kissing her forehead. 

“I am so sorry,” she whispered, looking away, trying to fight her tears and her own pain. She hated to put more weight on Kyle’s shoulders, especially since she had the impression he felt somehow responsible.

“When you are ready, I’ll be there,” he left her. “Get ready. I’ll be back soon.”

“Ok,” she whispered and watched him leave the bedroom feeling suddenly so lonely and lost.

She hated herself sometimes. She knew why she acted the way she did. She understood her ways and yet she wished she could snap her fingers and just stop being a prick. Especially with Kyle.

He left without saying goodbye and when she was left completely alone, Erika stood in the middle of her bedroom for an ungodly amount of time, just looking at nothing, spacing out into her own doubts and despair.

When she realised she was so cold she was shivering painfully, she decided it was time to get a grip. To not let her brain take over and ruin her completely, she put some music on letting the living room speakers play loud, as she hopped in the shower, hoping to wash her problems off her skin.

An hour later she had all the arrogance to lie even to herself and think she was stronger than ever. Able to tackle anything. Everything was fine. It was still her favourite prayer. 

She had decided to melt her nerves helped by a shot of tequila to get her going. Her make up was done. Her hair fixed. She looked pretty, expensive and unbothered, just like she wanted. A perfectly executed mask. She only pretended she was wearing a cute outfit she casually picked, when she had the specific plan to be looked at.

Will was going to be there and she had every intention of getting his attention, one way or the other. It became a matter of pride. If he was doing everything in his power to ignore her and pretend nothing happened, she was set to make it as difficult as humanly possible for him. She needed to win. It was easier to think it that way than sulk. She was done being passive to her own pain. She wanted answers and she would have got them by the end of the evening. 

She even had the time to get the ambiance around the apartment just right to host a small gathering and just double checked with the catering that they’d be on time to set up before their friends arrived. 

When the doorbell went off, she gasped with surprise, fooling herself she could act completely cool. Everything was fine.

She hopped across her apartment on her tippytoes, still not wearing shoes. She was hoping it could be Kyle and Mark already even though she knew it was way too early. After picking Mark up from the airport, which was a potential forty-five minutes’ drive in traffic, Kyle was supposed to drop Mark back at his own place before driving him back there. It couldn’t be them. Plus, Kyle had the keys to get in the house. But she still answered the door with the same enthusiasm and expectations. 

“Hello,” she chirped, “come on up. Fifth floor,” she explained, realising it was probably the much less exciting catering guys coming in to set up.

Erika was still fiddling with her golden hoop earrings when she opened the door, ready to welcome their hired employees with a big smile. In the background played Rich Girl, by Daryll Hall and John Oates. “Hi, welcome,” as soon as her eyes set on the person standing by the entrance, she choked. Her smile hanged on her lips, and slowly froze when she realised, she wasn’t going to welcome Kyle or her brother and neither it was the catering. 

“Will,” she frowned, her throat sealed shut. It was the first time she saw him in days. She hid behind the door, trying to hold herself up. She had been doing such a good job, she couldn’t crumble the first second they interacted. “What are you doing here?”

He had his hands dug deep into his trousers and was looking straight at the floor, doing everything in his power to avoid eye contact. “Mark’s party. I was invited, remember?” 

The monotone in his deep voice drove her insane, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to slam the door in his face or choke him out more.

She rolled her eyes. “Yes. I know. I mean this early.”

He shrugged. “I can come back if you prefer,”

Erika widened the door, sliding to the side and signing him to come in. “Don’t be stupid. Kyle and Mark aren’t here yet though.” 

She did everything in her power to maintain her decorum. If she wanted to survive that evening, she needed to rise above. And yet, she already couldn’t think clearly. 

As Will entered her home, awkwardly looking around, she inhaled deeply his scent. She was taken by a primal need for her to know what perfume he was wearing. But it went deeper than that as she realised what she was looking for was the smell of his skin, bare, sweaty and marked by sex.

It was beyond her. Memories hit her stronger than ever. She felt his callous hands on her skin, his ghostly fingers traced her body, making her doubt what was reality and what was dream. She could still taste his mouth on her tongue just as clearly as she could feel his curly hair in between her fingers. Just like she was still in his arms, she could feel the pressure of his hold, or the weight of his body on hers.

It was excruciating. Unbearable. Made her want to rip her hair out and run away, never to come back. But mostly, it made her feel so small and insignificant. She wouldn’t have made it. 

She wanted him so bad it hurt in places she wasn’t aware could hurt for a person.

Will still didn’t look at her. “Do you have any booze?”

“Fridge for beer or wine, and mixers, don’t touch the bubbly. Freezer for vodka. Wine rack for more wine and tequila. Knock yourself out.” She turned around, pretending she didn’t care. Maybe she could have hidden in the bedroom until someone else arrived? 

No.

She had promised herself she’d stop being a coward and a prick and would handle the situation. And that was actually the perfect occasion to get what she wanted.

“I’m gonna finish getting ready. Mind letting the catering people in when they arrive?”

“Sure.” She heard him pop a beer open.

She wondered if he was looking at her then. She hoped he was. She was ready for a fight. She was ready to get it over with because she couldn’t take to have that awful, awkward situation hanging above her life, shaving off happiness from her current relationship. But, deep down, she was still naively hoping to get what she wanted. Which was Will.

She turned around, deciding to get to her best weapons immediately. First artillery fire. She leaned against the bedroom doorframe, looking directly at Will, ignoring how intensely he was studying every title in Kyle’s collection of pop-punk vinyl CDs. She didn’t know him to have ever been that interested in that music genre before.

“Do you like my dress, Will?” She wondered casually and watched his reaction with a dangerous, magnetic smile printed on her lips.

She watched avidly how he stiffened, raising his head and widening his shoulders, which only made her ego grow. Will didn’t move for the longest couple of seconds as his eyes traced up on the wall in front of him. He didn’t dare to look back but his eyes did move on the dozen frames patching up the wall retracting professional pictures of wrestling matches. Only the best of her work, exposed like in a gallery. Will had more than one spot on her wall. Now she was starting to understand why she liked to portray him so much.

“Don’t ignore me.”

He hissed, clearly bothered by her voice. “I am not.”

“So?”

“I dunno. Doesn’t matter what I think, does it?”

“It does if I am asking.”

He huffed and then hid behind his beer, taking two good gulps of it before just shaking his head. “Sure. You look very nice. But you know that. So, why bothering asking me?”

“How would you know? You haven’t even looked at me once.”

Will tutted and let his head fall back, releasing some of his frustration in a huff. He was still not facing her. “I am not playing your game, Erika.”

“Look at me, Will.” She ordered, summoning all her strength not to let any of her desperation show. She wanted to sound authoritative and not like a little scared girl who just wanted to be held. Somehow it made sense in her mind that that could be her best plan.

It seemed like he was willing to fight her. For a split second he held his position, without daring to move. He was holding his breath. But then, something gave in and he did turn. Not completely, as if he was still trying not to expose himself to her. But he did. And when he did, his eyes sliced through her like daggers, severe and detached. She didn’t recognise the cold in his gaze and kept stumbling in the fear that she was continuing to make mistakes.

That moment was the first that Erika realised it wasn’t only about the sex anymore. She wasn’t only looking at a man that couldn’t recognise being the same who held her so tenderly. But she also couldn’t recognise the Will she had liked and respected for so long from before. Before everything, they had been friends for a long time. Years. They shared trips, work, holidays, accommodations, moments of their lives that will always connect them. And yet, she was now cut out of it.

She was hurting so bad.

But, for the life of her, Erika didn’t dare to show an inch of it. He didn’t deserve it.

If that’s how it had to be, then she was determined to make him regret his choices.

Will shrugged. “So? What am I supposed to look at?” She was the one who was hit. But Will wasn’t done. “Let’s do this like civil adults, shall we? I am here for Kyle and Mark, let’s get through this. In a couple of days, I’ll be on the road again in Japan.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Knowing he was going to be gone fairly soon disheartened her. It didn’t seem like she was going to prove any point, let alone win at anything. And he was going away soon, maybe that was it, that was her answer. Let it go, for everyone’s sake. 

“You know what I mean.”

“No.” Erika crossed her arms, willing to appear as defensive as possible, “I do not know what you mean, William.”

The smile he whipped out was pure scorn. He took her words like a cheap shot, shaking his head. “My, my, you must be very upset. I rattle you pretty bad, don’t I? Don’t worry. You stay out of my way and I’ll stay out of yours and everyone lives happily ever after.”

“You are such a cunt.” Erika scoffed, raising her chin high, “I wish I never met you.”

“Oh, don’t you worry darling, the wish is mutual.” 

He went right to the jugular. His words slipped her throat. She felt something severing inside of her. Her chest was empty and squeezed, she was unable to breathe.

She closed herself in her bedroom, leaving Will alone. 

What was she supposed to do now? 

That was answer enough. Will gave her exactly what she thought she wanted, and in the meanest way he could possibly think to clear any doubt she may have had. Only, it was nothing like what she had hoped for.

She wanted a drink so bad. Somehow, she thought alcohol could fuzz her rational thoughts and soothe her. The only problem was that Will stood between her and her booze and she had no intention to look at him ever again.

Damn it. Damn him.

Erika cried in silence, huddled on the floor like a desperate little girl who couldn’t even take rejection on the chin like a champ.

She had ignored hearing Will moving around her apartment, turning on the tv and even talk loudly on the phone. It didn’t matter what he was talking about, to her it mattered the way he laughed and chattered like nothing bothered him. Then, when the catering showed up, she still ignored him when he tried to ask for direction – again acting like nothing happened between them. He even knocked on her door a couple of times, and she still didn’t respond.

By that point, Erika's only concern was to pick herself back up, fix what Will had just broken and keep pretending. For Mark. For Kyle. For herself.

By the time she had fixed her makeup for the nth time that evening, the first guests started to arrive and that was her queue to waltz out of the bedroom and be the perfect, prettiest host. She could only hope Kyle and her brother would arrive soon.

[empresskadia]

Could you imagine fighting side-by-side with the Master Chief from Installation 04 all the way to the end of the war, and meeting him again on Requiem. "I wanted to be like you, Chief."

YES, I can. I just adore these asks, gets my creative juices running. I really said we're making a short-fic with this.

The first thing that comes into mind is a Marine or an ODST that fought side by side with John through the ring. Someone who he ends up trusting considering they went through all this with him, the halo, the flood, and all that ‘fun’ stuff between. Honestly, he’s impressed they haven’t been killed yet but also how you had the ability to keep going despite everything you had faced and seen. John can think of commanders and captains who didn’t have the same resilience as you. He might even make a brief comment that you would be a good squad leader or commanding officer much to your delight.

So when he first goes MIA, it’s hard to believe that the Master Chief is gone and there is a lot of denial, but the years press on, and time doesn’t wait on anyone. I also think you would not only be grieving John’s ‘death’ but also Sergeant Johnson’s as he would’ve been your commanding officer during the war and a role model. Ultimately, you take John’s words to heart and climb up the ranks into command.

There isn’t much surprise when you are scouted out for the Spartan-IV program as one of the newest generation of Spartans by Musa Ghanem. It is surprising when he starts talking about John in an almost familiar tone and how he heard about the battles the two of you faced together on the halo. You are sold on the idea of the program as soon as Musa brings the Master Chief into the picture, what else was there than to be like him? And that maybe, if he did somehow come back, you could even have John’s back and fight for him.

As you delve into the Spartan-IV program with five others, you progress through the augmentation process, and enhancements reshape your body which lasts nearly three weeks. When it comes to training and field exercises, you and Sarah Palmer wipe the floor with the rest of the candidates. By the end of the program, you took the position of lieutenant commander as Sarah's right-hand Spartan. [Note: you and Sarah are probably besties after bonding by kicking ass. Also, Sarah has to stop you from committing something that might get you court marital a multitude of times on the UNSC Infinity, aka you almost punching the daylight out of 'captain' Andrew Del Rio.]

By the time Requiem rolls around, your reputation as a Spartan-IV and a capable leader has grown. So when you hear the distress signal, you know it's Cortana by voice alone and you are demanding to investigate, which almost prompts a fight between the captain and yourself that Commander Lasky has to intervene and side with you.

Conversation snips-

[Lasky] "I know you don't like Del Rio, Lieutenant, but I almost thought you were going to punch him."

[You] "I was this close."

[Lasky] "Your fingers are touching."

[You] "Exactly."

Or

[Lasky] "I've never seen you lose your cool like that."

[You] "I-If there is a possibility the Chief is alive, it's our job to investigate it."

[Lasky] "I feel like there is more than you're letting on."

When the UNSC Infinity crashes on Requiem, you manage to round up a squad of Spartan-IV and go scout the jungle area. It's the flash of metallic green that had you holding up your hand to stop the others from firing.

"Chief?" You call out in disbelief, your gun lower just a bit. You knew there was a possibility he was still alive but seeing him in the flesh, if it wasn't for the Spartan training, you would've started crying.

"No way...[Y/n]?" The feminine voice rang through your helmet and the sound of her on TEAMCOM had a grin touching your lips.

"'Tana! Long time no see." You gave your team a signal to hold off while you approached the Master Chief, he almost seemed to be scanning you up and down.

"You're huge! And wearing MJOLNIR."

"Ma'am yes ma'am," You chuckled. "Hi, Chief. It's good to see you up and causing trouble." This time around, John didn't seem to tower over you, he was still taller but it no longer felt like you had to crank your neck up.

"You became a Spartan?" It was a question, the first words to hear him say after all these years and you were grinning to the point your cheeks hurt.

"I wanted to be like you, Chief." You gave him a shrug. "I got scouted and here we are."

"I feel like there is more to the story than just that." Cortana quipped and you could absolutely imagine her with her hand on her hips, giving you that pointed look she did back on installation 04.

"Tell you what, we make it out of here, I buy drinks and I'll tell you everything that's happened in the last four and half years." The Spartan-ll tilted his head ever so slightly before giving you a curt nod.

"I think we would like that very much." The teasing tone in Cortana's voice didn't miss you by much and there was certainly a smile in her tone. Was she teasing you? That would have to be figured out later as several blips appeared on your radar. "So, just like old times?"