#I don't think it really matters since it's not possible and it's not the underlying issue between them anyway

[llycaons]

Yes he loves Wei Wuxian still and if asked, he would give back his core in a heartbeat

hm. would he though?

[hotdsworld]

"Beneath the mask" Neteyam Sully

Neteyam Sully x F!Reader

a/n: I advise to read warnings before going straight to the fic! Beautiful dividers from @cafekitsune

Summary: you never know what's hidden beneath the mask.

Word count: 3,2k

Warnings: 18+!, mentions of a murder, mentions of body injuries (not Reader), aged up Neteyam, stalking, noncon, oral (F receiving), piv, no protection, breeding kink, chase, knife play, body betrayal

Dead dove do not eat

You knew someone was watching you, but you didn't expect it to turn out like it did. They say people wear masks every single day, but you didn't expect the Ghostface mask to hide something so familiar.

The feeling of being watched was with you all the time, like a shadow always present and hard to ignore. You tried to convince yourself that it's just paranoia, but deep down, you knew there was more to it. Ever since the Ghostface killer appeared in the news for the first time your anxiety got worse.

You found yourself looking over your shoulder more often, double checking your locks and windows, getting worried over the smallest of sounds. The possibility of Ghostface targeting you was low, but how low? You didn't want to risk it. After all, why not you? You were innocent, and psychos like this loved the innocents the most. Something to prey on, to defile, to break… and weren't you the perfect target? A student living on her own in a shitty neighborhood.

Every day, you could feel someone's eyes on you but whenever you looked over your shoulder there was nothing. You wanted to go on with your life normally, you didn't want to go crazy and have people judge you. Your friends were very supportive, but you didn't think they would understand how scared you are every single day. Your best friend understand you perfectly well, but he was gone for a family trip so you had no one to talk to. He was different… not quite a human, but he understood you like no human could. Maybe Neteyam has more humanity in himself than others.

You were sitting at your Spider’s house, watching a movie of his choosing. It wasn't the best one, but you didn't complain. After all, he was the one that mattered right? Your compatibility and connection… but his focus was on the movie. Spider was really sweet and charming so you decided to give him a chance. You wanted something true and pure to happen to you and with Spider it felt like it might be it. You crossed your legs, trying to get into the plot too. Spider placed his hand on your thigh, caressing it a little. A gesture you welcomed, it's been a while and you're touch starved. Not even a minute after your phone rang, you smiled shyly.

“Sorry, I forgot to turn it off,” you looked at the screen, your eyebrows raising a bit upon seeing ‘unknown’. You picked up, looking around, it was a habit now. “Hello?” Usually, you don't pick up from numbers you do not know… but you had a feeling and you need to pick up from this one.

“Good evening, y/n” the voice on the other end was smooth, almost polite, but there was an underlying menace that sent chills down your spine. You looked at Spider, but he was too engrossed in his movie to notice your discomfort. How did the caller know your name? It must be one of your friends pranking you…

“Who is this?” you asked, trying to keep your voice steady. After all, you are in a safe house with Spider not so far from the campus. You are going to be fine and no silly prank will change that. Nothing bad could happen here, right?

“You tell me,” a hint of a challenge in his voice. The caller was taunting you and somehow it was filling you up with anxiety.

“Well, I have no idea,” you sighed. It wasn't something funny to you. Prank calls are supposed to be funny but this is just unsettling.

“Do you like scary movies, y/n?” The question was casual, but it sent a chill down your spine. Why would he ask about something like this?

“Stop playing around, Lo’ak. I'm busy right now,” you snapped, your irritation mixing up with the fear.

“Busy? Watching? Or letting him touch you? You are better than that, y/n,” the worst taunted, dripping with disdain. But who did he despise? You? Or Spider? Your heart skipped a beat. Did Spider tell Lo'ak you were going to visit? Was the called really Lo’ak? What kind of a sick joke was that? “Not Lo’ak. Keep guessing.” You looked around the living room, suddenly feeling exposed and vulnerable. Now you didn't feel as safe as you did before.

“Who the hell is this?” you demanded, raising your voice in panic. Spider looked at you with concern. But that only made the caller chuckle, he was mocking you.

“Let's just say. I'm so much closer than you realize, in every meaning of this sentence,” there was a sinister edge to his words that made your blood run cold. Without another word, you hung up, your hands trembling. You couldn't handle any more of this twisted prank. Spider paused the movie, he approached you with a worried expression.

“Are you okay? What was that anyway?” He rubbed your back, to comfort you a little. Spider suspected it was a stupid joke but seeing you so scared moved him a little.

“A prank call. It was just very weird,” you let Spider lead you back to the couch. You clung to him, calming down a little. His arm around your shoulders, giving you a sense of safety. You were feeling better, but you couldn't shake off the feeling of being watched… as always. Spider held you close, his presence reassuring.

“It's just a prank, don't let it get to you,” he sighed. You nodded, trying to believe his words. On the other hand, the voice on the phone felt too real, too menacing… and the way he knew about Spider. Your phone kept calling, filling you with worry. “You want me to get it?” Spider offered. He had no problem with handling a stupid teenager or a creep.

“No, I'll do it,” you tried to sound braver than you felt. You answered the call again, feeling better with Spider close to you.

“Don't hang up on me again,” the caller hissed. His voice dripping with menace and for a second you thought, what if you are talking to the actual devil? There was ringing upstairs.

“Shit, my phone. I will be back,” Spider patted your shoulder before running upstairs. You sighed, realizing you are alone again.

“What do you want? I don't find this funny anymore,” you were scared of course… but you were angry. Who could ruin your date like this? Your mood and wellbeing? Who does that to another human being? The caller was silent, you weren't even sure if he's still there. “Hello?” No answer… you hung up, shaking your head in disbelief. “Do you need help finding your phone?” You call out to Spider. He always loses his phone so it wasn't a surprise it was taking him longer. Spider didn't respond so you walked upstairs. “Have you found it?” You scan every single room with no success until you reach his bedroom. Your phone fell out of your hand as you gasped in terror.

Your date was gut open like a fucking animal. Spider's body was lying down mutilated, his insides spilling out. You looked away feeling as if you were going to throw up. It was disgusting and terrifying. But not as terrifying as the realization that you are here alone, with the predator who most likely wanted to give you the same treatment. You realized just now it was the Ghostface… You ran out of the house, feeling terrible about leaving Spider's body here but you refused to just give up. You sprinted into the woods. In the house, he would catch you for sure, but here? Here, you had a chance to fight and it was all that mattered.

“Running won't save you, pretty girl.” His voice echoed through the trees, taunting you. You glanced over your shoulder, your eyes widening upon noticing the figure in black robes and a ghostface mask walking calmly after you. He was close… to close. You pushed yourself harder, even though you couldn't breathe, even though your heart hurt. “You are just making it even more fun for me. You can't hide from me, I know you too well. I am everywhere,” his voice seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere at once. You have never been so scared, but you forced yourself to stay focused. You stumbled over a root, quickly gathering yourself and continuing the run. Every step was a struggle, your heart beating quickly as if it wanted to jump out of your chest… but you couldn't stop. Not now. “Is this the best you can do? I thought you were smarter than this,” he taunts. You ignored him, struggling to breathe. You could hear his steps, urgent yet patient. You zigzagged through the trees, hoping to lose him, but he was always there… right behind you. There was silence… you kept pushing forward until you dared to look back.

“Where are you?” You whispered, frantically looking around. He was gone. Ghostface lost you… You closed your eyes, trying to breathe normally again. Just then a hand clamped over your mouth, stifling your scream. Another hand pulled you closer by your waist from behind, against a solid chest. You kicked, trying to break free but it was futile. There was no escaping his grip.

“Shhhh, sshhh, shhh. Did you really think you could escape me, little bunny?” he whispered into your ear, his breath hot against your skin. You thrashed harder, your heart pounding in your chest. “Don't worry. I will take care of such a pretty bunny like you,” he pinned you against the tree, getting rid of the pretty dress you were wearing. “All dressed up? What a shame he won't see this,” he cut through the fabric of your clothes with a sharp knife, causing you to tremble. You were vulnerable, defenseless, cornered like a prey… like a bunny.

“Get away! Get away!” Your screams stifled. You were no match for him, he was much stronger… yet you didn't wish to give up. Once Ghostface got you completely naked, he pushed you on the ground on your back. You hated him for what he did, was doing, and what he is going to do. Why then deep down there's a hint of excitement? You were disgusted. The huge palm over your mouth prevents you from screaming, no matter how hard you bite into it. Ghostface pushed your legs forward, revealing your pussy to him.

“And you are so innocent… I don't think innocent little bunnies get wet for killers.” As much as you did want to argue, his hand prevented you from doing so. You kicked and pushed with no success yet. Ghostface tilted your chin up, as he didn't want you to catch the glimpse of his skin as he raised the mask a little, just so his lips could connect with your pussy. He hummed, enjoying how wet you already were. It turned you on more than he expected. “So fucking tasty,” he moans into your pussy, enjoying it like one of the greatest meals he had ever gotten to try. You held back every single sound that wanted to escape your lips. You didn't want to enjoy it, you wanted to be disgusted and furious. You weren't supposed to enjoy it… you bit on his hand hard as he focused on sucking on your clit. You wanted to push his head away, but it was like he was made of stone. Nothing could move him. “Stop whining. I am a gentleman who prepares you, if I was an asshole I would have you suck me off, no? Be a good little bunny and enjoy,” he suckled, eating you out sloppily. You wanted to ignore the pleasure building up in your stomach… you really did, but it felt as if your body was betraying you… for him. Ghostface was eating your pussy like he waited for it his whole life. It was disturbing. You had no idea who it was, you wanted to run away and never go back… yet your body was reacting to him. “Come on, bunny. Cum for your new master. Show how happy you are to be owned by me,” he mumbled against your pussy, mixing the techniques to make you feel as good as he possibly can. He wasn't a monster… he will pleasure you a bit before completely destroying you. You held back and you wished you did that for longer, but you came undone under his experienced mouth. You took a deep breath, struggling again which only seemed to amuse Ghostface more. “Bunny already trying to run away? Not even going to please your master?” He easily manhandled you into a doggy position, pushing your head down to the ground as your ass remained up. You wanted to crawl away, anything to escape his grip but you were too weak. Ghostface got behind you easily, his cock rubbing against your wet folds. He put his knife against your neck, not eager to play any games now.

“No, no, no, no,” you could already tell it was huge, the thought made you both excited and terrified. How could you explain this? How come you were finding this exciting? Ghostface didn't let you wonder for too long, pushing himself inside you once his cock was coated in your wetness.

“Fuck, bunny. You are so tight. Such a perfect toy for me… Once I saw you with Spider I need my plan needs to happen faster.” You yelped, gripping the ground underneath you desperately. It felt as if he was ripping you apart. Your eyes filled up with tears as you bit your lip hard. Ghostface gave you some time to adjust, knowing that he's so much bigger than average men. His fingers caressing your clit gently, trying to get you even wetter so it goes smoothly. You were losing the strength to fight… Why fight? He was already doing as he wished, and your body didn't seem to complain much. Getting stretched out by that thick cock of his, your walls were giving in quite easily. As if your body belonged to him. Ghostface began to move in and out of you slowly, enjoying the way your hungry pussy clung to him. Gradually, he was increasing the pace of his thrusts, feeling how easier it was becoming to move in and out of you. His fingers rubbing against your clit in circles. As his other hand traced all over your back with the blade, sending chills down your spine. The previous pain was mixing up with pleasure, and you couldn't hold back your sounds of pleasure anymore. You will hate yourself for that later but now, you enjoyed what he was doing to you and how he was making you feel. “Such a tight little bunny. Squeezing my cock so much. It's like your pussy wants me to stay here forever, no? So wet too… you're just a deranged slut who deems herself innocent, but do you feel this, bunny? How wet you are getting for a masked killer who chased you through the woods?” Ghostface gets rough, pressing on your lower back, causing your head to be pressed to the ground. His cock deep inside of you, you weren't sure it's possible for someone to reach so deep inside of you… “Dumb little bunny, you think you could escape this?” He taunts, taking pleasure in degrading you in such a way. You were a conflicted mess, brain filled with nothing but thoughts of how good his dick felt inside of you. You were getting close to the edge again, Ghostface could feel your walls clenching around his cock. “Is that slutty bunny going to cum for me again? Such an obedient little whore… but I want to see you cum,” he flipped you over onn your back, putting his weight on you. You whimpered needily, feeling empty after he pulled out for a moment. You were desperate to cum on his cock. Your pride, morals, and rules didn't matter now. All that mattered was his cock inside of you making you cum. Ghostface pushed back in, groaning as your pussy sucked him back in eagerly. You were truly perfect for him. His knife tracing around your collarbones, moving down to your breasts. Somehow, it was arousing. The cold blade against your warm skin, the danger.

“Please,” you whimpered, looking up at him. You weren't sure if you were asking for him to keep going or to stop. You just needed something. Ghostface decided for you, thrusting in and out of you at a punishing pace, his fingers playing with your needy clit. He intended to push you towards the edge… and then off of it. The blade against your neck, pressed a little harder than before. Ghostface didn't miss how it made you clench.

“Master's perfect bunny. That's right, don't think of anything. Dumb little bunnies like you don't need to think for themselves. Let your master think for you, bunny. You just need to enjoy what I'm giving you.” Normally, you would resist, you would say something back, but you were too damn close to orgasm to think. Your eyes rolling back with every deep thrust. His tip seems to hit your g-spot every single time. “Cum for your master. And when you do master's going to breed you, pump you full of my potent seed. I'm going to claim you, bunny. You are going to be mine and mine only,” he slowed down but the intensity of his moves increased. "Moan for your master, bunny"

“Such a pretty obedient slut for me. You are making your master proud, bunny. For that I'm going to cum inside. I will give you so many little bunnies,” he groans. His cock was twitching inside of you, signaling that he's close and of course, he had no intention of pulling out. He wanted to claim you as completely and utterly his. He wanted you to bear the evidence of what happened tonight in this forest. He wanted you to remember. Even though you were weak you forced yourself forward and you pulled the mask off, gasping as it revealed the handsome blue face you knew perfectly. Your fucking best friend. The epitome of innocence was murdering people with a knife. He was the one who stalked you the whole time, making you feel like you are paranoid. “Surprised? Silly bunny,” he took off the voice changing device. Neteyam pumped you full of his cum, keeping eye contact with you. He didn't seem ashamed or regretful, he seemed pretty proud of what he did. His beautiful eyes flashing with possessiveness and obsession. Neteyam was down bad for you. You didn't know if you should feel betrayed, depressed, or angry. That man was the epitome of innocence, how come he was behind every cruel thing that happened today? And not only… Ever since he met you, he knew you were going to be his. Neteyam isn't human, you couldn't possibly expect him to act like one. Every single day he made sure you were safe by observing you. You are such an adorable bunny, he needed to make sure no one's going to steal you. Neteyam

“Oh my gosh, oh fuck,” your body shook as the wave of pleasure washed over you again, moaning loudly. Ghostface kept going, fucking you through your high. You knew it shouldn't be happening. You should be devastated but somehow you enjoyed everything.

“It's going to be okay, little bunny. You are safe with me… forever” he planted a tender kiss on your forehead before offering you the black robes. You belonged to him now, his little bunny.

[sturn-wrld]

🪼dress up to get undressed

pairing: matt x reader

summary: where reader goes on a shopping spree and matt sees an opportunity to complete part of her list.

genre: SMUT. if you don't like it, don't read it

warnings: p in v, nicknames, short mention of body insecurity

a/n: this will be the only promised smut part of this series unless i suddenly feel like making another part smut.

masterlist

---------------------------------------------------------

it's been a month since matt read through my list of all the little things i want to do and i'm starting to think he has forgotten about it. i mean it's not that it matters that much because all of those things happen anyway but it's just kind of disappointing that he won't be cheesy about doing them.

as i reach his house after my 3 hour long shopping spree with one of my best friends, matt walks out of the door to come help me with my bags. "you went crazy didn't you?" he says leaning into my open car window peaking into my back seat where the bags lie.

"of course. i wanted to treat myself today so that's what i did." i say looking back up at matt as i take off my seatbelt and he opens my car door.

"okay let's inspect the damage why don't we" he says opening the back door, earning a giggle from me. as he opens the door his eyes go wide as he sees the absolutely massive stack of bags. "you definitely know how to spend money" he says grabbing the first lot of bags from my back seat.

"obviously. what else was i put on this earth to do" i say sarcastically as i grab the remaining bags and shut my car, locking it with my free hand while simultaneously looking back at matt, holding open the front with his foot.

"be an amazing girlfriend" he says catching a kiss to my head as i walk through the door passed him.

we make our way to his bedroom where we place all of the bags on the floor next to his bed as he spots one he in particularly likes the look of. he turns to me, now sitting in his desk chair, holding the pink stripped bag. "victoria's secret?" he asks almost rhetorically, while shooting me the most seductive glare.

"yeah. like i said treating myself" i say shrugging turning my attention back to my phone. "wanna show me?" he says still staring into me. i was pounding in the inside.

we hadn't done anything sexual yet but i knew i was happy to anytime and the look he was giving me just made me drip.

"sure" i say trying to stay as nonchalant as possible. i pull out the black set and hand it to matt watching his eyes light up and the grow seductively darker. "i mean on baby. go try it on for me" he says gripping my jaw with one had and placing the clothing back into the bag with the other. i comply and make my way into his bathroom.

as i finish putting in the complementary bottoms to my lacey top, i question whether i should of bought this. i was never really the type to bash my body but i always had my underlying insecurities. suddenly there is a k pack on the door. "you done yet, beautiful?" i look at myself one more time in the mirror before replying, "yeah, you can come in" i turn to face the door as it opens to see my boyfriends face look absolutely astonished. "you are so gorgeous baby" he says before placing his hands on my waist still looking me up and down.

he then starts to play with the strap of the almost see through top with his right hand while running his fingers under the strap on the matching material hanging to my hips. "how about we finish another thing on your list" he says while reaching his mouth to my neck.

"what were you thinking?" i say completely knowing what he is hinting to. "i'm going to undress you and your going to sit there like the pretty girl you are while i fuck you as hard as i can. okay?" i just stare straight back at him absolute shock on my face as i have never heard matt talk like that but loving nonetheless. i hum in response as he hungrily brings his mouth to mine pushing me against the counter behind me. he starts bringing his head down to my neck, sucking mindlessly leaving marks everywhere.

as he brings his head down to my breasts he reaches his arms around my body to reach for the clips on the back of the bra. right before he unclips it he looks to me, "can i take this off beautiful?" all i do is him in reply. "baby i need words" is all he says before i absolutely lose my brain. "please baby, i need you to" with that he pulls off my bra and brings his mouth back to mine, quickly kissing me before making his way back down to my breasts. "good girl" he says, driving me mad.

after sucking dark spots onto every inch of my upper body he brings his mouth back to mine kissing me more aggressively than ever. "jump" he says moving his hands to my ass to hold me and lift me to the counter. once i'm on the counter he continues to squeeze and caress my ass as i arch and my chest back to his face. "you are so hot baby" he says huffing and puffing, having just released from a long aggressive kiss.

he slowly starts travelling his hand down my body before stopping right above my pounding clit. i start to grab at his shoulders and arms needing contact. "please" i whimper out needing something more "please what?" he says staring down at me. "please touch me or fuck me baby, just do something" he strips down his own pants before moving my underwear to the side. "your wish is my command" he says before slamming himself into and toying with my clit between his fingers. i grip his shoulders, my knuckles going white from gripping so tight. he grabs my hips moving me back and forth against his fully hard cock even faster, hitting my g-spot every time. "oh fuck" i scream at the top of my lungs. he lowly groans as he brings his body closer to mine. "your so tight for me" he says sending my haywire, clenching around him, almost reaching my high faster than ever. "you need to cum yet gorgeous? i can feel you clenching" i through my head back as he moves faster in and out of me. "yes" i scream it being broken up from the jaw droppingly fast pace im being fucked at. "cum for me beautiful" with that the knot in my stomach comes undone and i finish all over his dick. he brings me down from my high before pulling out and finishing all over my stomach and tits.

"that is going to definitely be my favourite thing in the list to do"

taglist

@ermdontmindthisaccount @its-jennarose @ilovemattsturn @frozenvegitableoil @meme2003

[sozzledjuja]

Mephisto & Praxina - A Relationship Analysis

Because part of me wishes that the twins' dynamic had been more explored in the show, while Mephisto was still "alive".

There are honestly so many scenes, especially in season 2, where you could feel the main underlying issues between them, but they were never actually adressed or explored.

Also, feel free to add your own thoughts, maybe stuff that I missed, or things you disagree with as well.

Let's start with this scene, from Cute As A Doll, which I'm surprised not more people are talking about:

So, Praxina gets hurt by Auriana's blast, and Mephisto immediately stops his chase for Iris to teleport next to his sister, to make sure she's alright.

Aaaaanddd- she yells at him for caring/worrying, telling him to just go after Iris.

LOOK AT HIS FACE BRO. Homeboy was truly worried, but then immediately gets back in the game.

It's easy to just look at the dismissive and "careless" way in which Praxina treats Mephisto most of the time, and rule her off as "heartless". However, this sentiment seems to also be present when HE tries to "connect" or worries about her.

We see this again in Forget You:

She sees attachments and emotions as a sign of weakness and vulnerability, and clearly doesn't allow herself to feel it and lashes out whenever her brother does.

This refusal to accept love and affection is usually born out of an inherent lack of trust in people. It comes from a place of fear. She seems to prefer to remain impartial and formal as much as possible, regardless of how much her brother (or anyone else, for the matter) wishes to get close to her.

When it comes to other people, I believe she simply doesn't trust that the gestures of affection are real/genuine.

Good!Praxina, in Forget You I believe, was less of a "possibly redeemed" Praxina and more of a "blank page" Praxina, as in, what she would've been like had none of the Gramorr or the other bad stuff happened.

Still, let's not forget that Good!Praxina still clearly had some concerning instincts, so some of her less pleasant characteristics like her destructive behavior, lack of empathy, difficulty accepting affection and praise, and connecting with people, were probably already there since the beggining.

Iris said it herself:

Remember, Good!Praxina still didn't like the idea of helping people when the girls first tried to teach her how to be a good person; Only AFTER being exposed to good influences did she actually begin to redirect her energy torwards "good" goals, and I think this proves that, in a different, more positive enviromnent, she would've definetly turned out differently.

But, alas- she didn't, so here I am, writing this big ass psychological assessment. Which is mostly her fault.

Also Mephisto clearly has some issues of his own when it comes to how his sister treats him (which, let's be honest, while I wouldn't call it abusive, she definetly isn't an easy person to care about).

Also the fact that she seems to think he's incapable of doing anything right definetly bothers him more than he lets on.

It's easy to laugh these moments off but there's definetly something much deeper going on.

Again

And again

And again. and this one was fucked up

And in many other times.

Oh- and the fact that she always blames him for everything. Which is another one of Praxina's biggest flaws: an inability to admit fault or take any sort of accountibility. Aaand shifting the blame.

Which he knows, and this is clearly something that he takes and takes, until he snaps.

This moment in If You Can't Beat Them was also really telling on how he actually feels about how his sister never actually shows any appreciation for his contributions, and seems to think he's weaker and less capable of reason as she is.

I genuinely do not know what goes through Praxina's brain to make her do this. I don't know wether she actually genuinely believes he's stupid and fucks everything up or not.

And Gramorr, although he doesn't outright show much preference for Praxina in spite of Mephisto, seems to share the sentiment, given that he appears to be slightly less patient/harsher towards him than his sister.

What I can say is that Praxina definetly believes that he is the weakest link between them (which might seem like it's true at first glance, but I wouldn't be so sure as to state it), which, given the previous statement, might also be a result of Gramorr himself thinking/saying it, since they've probably been training under his wing for quite a long time, which would make her (and Mephisto) easily influenced by his opinion, as an authority figure.

And he might pretend it doesn't effect him, but we all know that deep down it does, and that he's kinda insecure despite all his bravado.

I think Mephisto's always been more sensitive and more "emotionally-inclined" than his sister, even before Gramorr. I believe that both twins have the potential to be good, but Mephisto is definetly more "hardwired" for it than Praxina.

And we already know what she thinks about that: emotion=weakness.

And part of her wants to keep reminding him she's better too. The girl's got a big ego to stroke.

Mephisto also seems to have more morals than his sister.

We can see that throughout the show he's helped the princesses sometimes: Iris, with whom he teamed up with to save his sister in If You Can't Beat Them, in which he even told her he'd be honored to serve her as queen of Ephidea, had circunstances been different, which I truly believe he meant;

And Carissa, in Statue Game, who he ALSO teamed up with to save his sister, and who, let's not forget, he gave the other evil amulet back to, so that the princesses could reverse the spell that turned that human girl into stone.

And when Gramorr got the last gem, Mephisto seemed to actually be horrified by what was happenning.

He clearly wasn't totally fine with enslaving the entire planet.

Praxina, on the other hand, seemed pretty okay with it.

Ecstatic even.

She's relishing in what's happening, that's what she wants. To bend other to her will, to be feared rather than loved, to have power over others.

Maybe not what she needs, but what she WANTS.

Mephisto realizing that is GOLD from a storytelling prespective.

I feel like he looked at her in hopes she'd be as concerned as he was, that they were on the same page about the situation, only to find her- well, laughing. I joked about this being his "oh shit, these people are actually evil" moment, but I think part of him was only surprised with Praxina. Maybe he hadn't realized just how far this "lifestyle" had actually shaped his sister.

We know for sure that Mephisto has higher levels of empathy than Praxina. And common sense. This is why I always disagree when people say that Praxina is smarter than Mephisto. She might be more "logical" and "rational", but neither of those things equate to cleverness. Mephisto seems to be more astute and more intuitive.

Him starting to realize Gramorr was probably not gonna give them shit is a great example of this.

Which Praxina did NOT even think about. She was on a high, thinking about all the power they were gonna have now that Gramorr was free and back in action. Miss girl, you are delusional.

Honestly Praxina's fatal flaws deserve their own separate post.

Because let's be clear: I'm trying to debunk all of the twin's relationship issues, and everytime, it's clear who's actually responsible for everything going badly in the emotional realm.

I love her but she IS the problem. Not saying Mephisto is a poor innocent baby who never did anything wrong his whole life (I'm looking at you, lolirock fandom). He definetly has a lot of flaws and bad traits himself, but he's not the one to blame for anything regarding his and his sister's relationship.

To conclude,

THIS is normal sibling behaviour.

All the rest I showed above this SHOULD. NOT. BE.

This is not me saying they have a bad relationship, but I am saying that they don't have a fantastic one either.

Also, I blame dark magic too. The Team has confirmed it makes them more irritable, so there's that too.

They really care about each other, and I don't doubt that BOTH of them would do anything to keep the other safe. But they got lots of unspoken stuff to talk about.

And are both in desperate need of therapy

[reds-writings]

Hello there lovely!

I saw requests were open so, I'd like to request this fluff prompt with Rust (2012) ;

4) brushing a strand of hair behind their ear

(scenario where we are the ones brushing a strand hair behind his ear)

I thought that I would be interesting and cute since he has long hair and all

Anyways, thank you for your time and if you don't wanna write this is completely fine :)

Bye and take care!

omg! first request ever! this had me so excited! i hope this is to your liking, anon! <3 (sidenote: set in the jj universe after Marty and Rust take down Childress)

Rust sat in your clawfoot bathtub almost deathly still as you gently ran some water over his hair. It had been a few days since his release, more like dash, from the hospital and his insistence on being able to manage his own proved to be a lie when he almost busted his damn stitches open from buckling over after trying to stand on his own for too long. After wrangling him back up you had declared you wouldn’t have no stinking man in your house any longer so a wash-up was in order whether he wanted your help or not. 

This was the last place he thought he’d be accepted into after all this time. Apparently, Marty and you had come to an agreement that this would be the best spot for him to regain his footing while healing up. It was the most familiar, albeit painfully so. 

He felt all seventeen years of pent-up shame and guilt catching up to him at once as you doted on him in silence. The softness of your touch and the warm scent of the perfume you still stayed loyal to after all this time brought him such an overwhelming sense of comfort that he didn’t know what to do with it. It had been so long...being this close.

 He didn’t deserve you. Not then and surely not now. 

He’d never felt so pitiful…so unworthy. You either didn’t notice his swirling internal storm of self-deprecation or you just didn’t care to acknowledge it. You never were one for pity. That’s how he knew he was here because you wanted him to be. Not because of any underlying favors you felt like you might’ve owed him just because you had once been together. 

When you had been notified of the fallout that took place after Errol Childress you hadn't thought your world could be rocked so violently at this point in your life. But it always seemed like, no matter the circumstances, Rust’s existence would have a formidable hold over you one way or another. Sitting there, weeks on end while waiting for him to just wake up had been nothing short of excruciating. He looked dead enough with the way Childress had clearly had taken no mercy. Weathered face sunken in, marred by the near-midnight shade of bruising that had him almost unrecognizable. That nasty stab wound…it was like the sick bastard had been trying to gut Rust clean. 

Thinking about it now had you fighting off the acrid taste of bile rising in your throat from sheer nerves. 

After finishing up and toweling off his frail form you guided him to the guest bed that had been made up for him days prior. Taking a brush to his long, damp hair after getting him dressed you worked your way through its knots as lightly as you could. Hands trembling with such reverent care that you hoped he didn’t clock. This current look of his was something you were still in the process of fully absorbing but you didn’t really find yourself opposing it. He was still as handsome as you remembered, just more tired and more…1993 Tombstone than you were used to. 

There weren't many a situation in this lifetime where you wouldn’t take Rust Cohle just as he was. 

Once you were done you laid him back in bed and brought the covers up to his chest, trying to make him as comfortable as possible in his current state. You remained on the edge of the mattress at his side for an extended bout of time, just taking him in. You’d almost lost him for good and you’d been trying to ignore how it would’ve made you feel had his existence wiped from the earth once and for all. 

It would've completely gutted you no doubt. A fact that could never be denied. Not with the way you’d never stopped truly loving him no matter how much time slipped by. Past transgressions or not.

A deft finger found its way to a greying strand of hair that found itself in his line of sight, softly brushing it back to take purchase behind his ear. The tenderness of the action had his throat growing impossibly tight, the battle of fighting off the burning sheen of his eyes was lost as his bottom lip started to tremble. There was so much to be said that resided within his broken gaze but you just tutted and went to curl up beside him, taking his head to your chest to let him take comfort in hearing the steady thumping of your heartbeat. 

“I-..I’m…s-sorry…” It came out so heartbreakingly choked. For leaving then. For how things turned out now. He wasn’t sure. You’d never witnessed him so fragile. 

“It’s long over with now…hell, I figure you’ve gone through enough lately to consider us even.” You huffed a dry laugh through your nose at the morbidly placed humor as your eyes took on their own stinging wetness. He didn’t have the strength to find it funny, choosing to clutch at you tighter as you graced him into your orbit. Feeling the soft stamp of your lips at his brow and another at his temple was enough to have him cave in completely. All you could do was hold him tight and make him feel a little less alone, 

“If no one else has said it, I’m grateful you were able to stick around.”

[sundogsandrainbows]

Hi, I'm sorry to write to you out of the blue, but Of Elves and Humans was the first DA longfic that got me hooked back in 2011 when I, as a dumb teen, happened to pick up DAO. Ever since then, the DA universe has been a constant fixation of mine and my admiration for you as a writer as well as someone who isn’t afraid to call out the franchise's flaws has never wavered. Now that Bioware decided to take a massive shit on everything pre-DAV and their oldest fans specifically, I'm really devastated and feel like a fool for having been so invested in DA and its lore for those past 13 years. It’s incredibly encouraging, however, to see you keep on keeping on. "So since they spat in my face like this I ignore this atrocity of a game even exists" is where I hope to be at soon, too. Thank you.

(First of all apologies for the late reply, I put it in my drafts when i was too tired to complete it, and then my adhd brain forgot it existed due to being distracted by new shinies 😂☠)

But aww omg i cannot believe i was the gateway drug into dragon age, or rather the old version of my story on FFN was. I am so very honored <3 And nonnie, I feel you. I am invested in DA as a series since DA:O's release in 2009, like I bought it on a whim for XBox because I liked Mass Effect 1 sm. So that is 15 yrs of my life i spent loving and discussing a thing while still being critical of the thing, but now i feel so very protective of the world, lore and its characters that "New Bioware" has decided to take a massive dump of shit on, and not only the games but the old fans I feel are treated with disdain too and do not matter to them any longer.

Long, subjective rant about current bioware aka the shambling corpse of its former self and talent incoming. Spoilers for Veilguard bc i don't give a fuck to avoid them :D You (general you, not you in particular dearest nonny <3) should use your time better than to play this shit anyhow 😂

It feels like calculated malice of new Bioware to apply the scorched earth tactics to offscreen destroy everything that old fans and fans of the other games in general held dear, and was supposed to suck out the enjoyment of DAO, DA2 and DAI. Like it is obvious they plan to create a sequel on DA's scorched bones, but jfc, you can do so story-wise without spitting everyone loving what old bioware has built in the face after dropkicking them. But to me that is part of the problem, since if i remember correctly and i wish i could find the bit... they praised Veilguard as "The best Dragon Age game ever", with the most interesting companions and best most improved combat system, comparing it to the other three games in a near smug fashion. There is marketing and there is putting the other games down to prop up your most favorite and only child mattering and they were definitely doing the latter. And don't get me started on the whole "Who is Zevran" debacle or we are gonna here all day.

Bottom line is new/current devs and writer do not give a shit about and very possibly have never played any other game than Inquisition, and you cannot tell me otherwise. And since a lot of devs/writer have left since the start of this project that would become this abysmal game, I also have the impression that there is a lot of underlying resentment toward what these former colleagues have created and so they piss on it in order to make it fully theirs now. Like dogs marking their territory, and well that did not work out, imo. At all.

Ever since they announced respecting our past choices by ignoring them (????) it was clear to me that I would not play Veilguard but just watch a playthrough and all spoilers and then move on. And everything i saw before release was shocking... like i was flabbergasted at how baaaad the dialogue was, which as a writer myself is super important to me in my story. There was no subtext, characters just blurt out everything they think and feel, like a lifeless doll you squeeze and words tumbling out and just as natural. It is stilted, awkward and 80% of it exists for info dump or info dumb rather as they keep repeating the same shit they just told you a few seconds ago as if you as the player are braindead. Here is a good example of what i mean.

Jfc, who edited this crap? There is so much superfluous dialogue that adds nothing to a scene but annoyance for the player and says nothing at all. Just pure senseless yapping in the most cringy way. Why was no one there to trim this nonsense as you should as a writer/editor? Hell, they really disregarded every simple and basic writing rule (everything is told never SHOWN for example especially in dialogue) which really made me question their competence in what they were doing and thus the quality of the upcoming game but i still held out hope for it to not be that bad.

Well shit, it was even worse. In all regards. Especially the writing that cringed this writer into a new dimension with its incoherent incompetence. Jfc. they got paid for that? I'm convinced the majority of fandom writer can do much better, even unpaid. Hell my cat just by walking over the keyboard can manage a better draft and script...💀

But I digress. That is a rant for another time. Point is, nonny, despite my defiant words, I struggled too for days after i got to know the full extent of Bioware's spiteful fuckery to even look at anything da related, in my case my Alistair/Mahariel longfic. I was really down for a few days, ngl. Then again, there is nothing better than spite fueling my creativity to prove "i can write better" soooo in the end and with the help of the much better first version of DA4 in the artbook, I was able to exorcise the demons and feverdream-mindfuck of mediocrity sold to me as a turd with gold-glitter that is this game.

I have successfully now rejected its existence, filled the void with the version that should have been from the artbook and vowed to give no fucks what bioware is doing or saying and infinitely more fucks when writing my own version of thedas and the version of DA4 that should be. REWRITES BBY hell yeah. So OEAH:R is just the beginning of a verse-wise rewrite. But if you need a pick me up, nonny, you are very much welcome to take a trip down memory lane to Dragon 9:30 and see how much this iteration of the story differs from my first one back in the days. Because in this house of mine, we grow and learn as writers, unlike bioware where writer ego reigns surpreme (oh boy and does it ever show in VG) aka eating their own turds and tell themselves it is the finest chocolate 💀

There is still a lot of good about DA out there, but we have to accept it does not come from Bioware any longer. Instead it came, comes and will come from the fans and creators of art and texts and words defying their bullshit with their love and respect for the world, its lore and characters. Also very unlike Bioware.

As we should <3

[jingyi-ma-boi]

Yunmeng Twin Heroes' complicated dynamics

So, my tags in one of the last posts I reblogged got a little out of hand and were long enough to deserve their own post, cause, even if I was commenting on other people’s meta and headcannons I ended up 'writing' my own. If you click on the link, you'll see that @featherfur's post was all about the post-canon chengxian feels of seeing the changes in each other while not being able to directly participate in each other's lives. Go read that. It's a bit long, but it's worth it. The angst of seeing somebody you love(d) being so similar yet so different from what you remember, and thinking knowing that you do not get to be a part of their lives like you'd want to hits just right.

However, I don't think that level of 'deep yearning to be able to love each other like they once did' is everything there really is. To me, there’d be a point in post-canon where they do feel like that, but they would resent each other often and even feel something akin to hate as well whenever their feelings regarding everything that has happened in canon got too much to bear.

Now, you can go on reading what I think their emotional journey towards reconciliation would be like, or you can just skip to the end, where I’ve put a TLDR. You’ll get the general idea but if you want to dive into the complexity of their feelings, keep reading (please, I’d love for other people to read and discuss this with me, or give their thoughts at least T.T).

We all know how JC feels about everything WWX has done and how he blames him. For all that the fandom pegs him as someone who doesn’t know how to express his feelings other than through anger, he's actually pretty aware of them and lets himself experience them (although not in a healthy way, re: being angry most of the time). Meanwhile, WWX has always been incredibly detached from his emotions —that's why it takes him so long to realize he's been in love with LWJ since their teens— because 1) he's been raised to think that his value lies not on him as a person, but on him as a protector that has to right all his wrongs to everybody around him because of filial duty, life debts, and class differences; and 2) he doesn't think he deserves feeling them, as a result of that.

And although I'm all for the chengxian feels and the fluff of Yungmeng Jiang' bros reconciliation, (really, I love that trope) I don't see it happening organically.

Listen here, I'm talking from personal experience. You can feel enormous amounts of longing, missing the closeness you once had with someone who hurt you deeply, and resent that person at the same time. It seems obvious, but it’s the kind of obvious thing that needs to be reminded. In a situation like this, you can, and will, get bursts of anger at that person for everything they did and everything they didn't do. You hate yourself for missing them because you have all the right to be angry at them, and disapointed and sad, and you shouldn't be missing them nor contemplating the possibility of going back to how things were once. You can be glad to see that they are doing well in their new life and be jealous that it is not you who they're sharing all these new experiences with, while you're watching awkwardly from the sidelines, letting the guilt from the swarm of contradictory emotions eat at you, because at the end of the day it doesn't matter how you feel. What matters is the facts. What you did. What THEY DID.

I see JC going through a mix of less complicated emotions at first. After canon, where he scowls at WWX with anger at first, the underlying pain gains a new companion. A feeling of sadness that drives JC to avoid WWX in the same way that the latter’s pain and guilt drives him to avoid his shidi. WWX, on the other hand, would take the longest time to let himself feel more complex and contradictory emotions. He might even get stuck on that guilt and not let himself feel the anger, disappointment, and resentment towards JC that he has always buried deep inside if things at Cloud Recesses stay the same as ever and he and LWJ isolate themselves from everyone else while LXC withers away in his tormented seclusion.

(Here comes the important reminder that MDZS is full of parallelisms and as such, LWJ and LXC share the same complicated feelings that exist between the Yunmeng bros, even if the details of their relationships are different. I won't go further into the Twin Jades of Lan, cause they deserve their own post, but let it be known that their reconciliation is as unlikely as the Yunmeng Twin Heroes’. They’re totally related. Any advances in one of the pairs would positively reflect on the other and viceversa, that’s why it’s so difficult for them to avoid emotional stagnation.)

The key to WWX getting more in touch with his feelings would be in the changes brought forth by the juniors. LSZ and LJY would work through WWX's façade even better than LWJ does, cause WWX doesn't think them as biased. His two Lan ducklings would charge headlong into his emotional mess through gentle words (LZS) and earth-shattering remarks disguised as snark (LJY), and force help him through the mess of recognizing and sorting out those emotions.

Still, JC and WWX being aware of their feelings is not enough for them to solve things.

However, it might help them all to take a step forward and start acknowledging each other in a better manner. They’d go from having raw, more simple feelings preventing them to even wanting to hear each other’s name, to gradually being able to share the same space amicably. That doesn’t mean that looking at each other in the eyes or feeling each other’s gaze isn’t simply too much because it makes them spiral. This is the point where they’d yearn for this new, happier version of their brother, their emotions getting as complicated as I described at the beginning. But that's the most I can see them achieving on their own because they’re both so stubborn. They’re set in their own ways and it would take a huge external force for them to make the slightest changes (ie. golden-core transfer reveal and the little ducklings intervening to make WWX feel his feelings is what causes changes in their perspective).

Why do I feel like this? Am I allowed to feel this? How can I dare to want this when I can’t even forgive him? How could I ever forgive him? Would he ever forgive me? How is it possible that I still love him so much? Do I even deserve to have that with him after everything I did? And what about him? Am I ready to truly forgive him and trust him? Will I ever be? I can’t, I couldn’t even if I wanted to and it hurts SO MUCH! IT HURTS!

IT HURTS!ITHURTSITHURTSITHURTS IHATEHIMIHATEHIMIHATEHIM

WHYDIDHEDODTHAT!?!WHYDIDHEDOTHATTOME?! WHYDIDHENOTDOANYTHING?!

WHY DID HE LEAVE ME?!?!?

…

You see? After everything I’ve laid down, any of them could have this exact internal conflict anytime.

The thing is they are both more alike than they think. JL would see through their bullshit and be so frustrated with it all through the years. Already an adult and experienced sect leader, he’d understand but not completely, because he’d be the first to realize that nothing can compare to what they’ve gone through. And yet, he’d want them to talk and make up because he loves his maternal uncles so much. He won’t admit it to anyone, (LJY, LZS and OYZZ don’t need him to. it’s been years since WWX returned and JL’s already an open book to them), but he wants them to be happy around each other. To not feel so torn apart between them. He’d want an opportunity to have some semblance of the family that could’ve been and he will take any chance, as small as it might be, to achieve that.

Cue the junior-now-adult-quartet shenanigans. They’ve been seeing how every adult they love is miserable to some extent, and now that they’re adults too, they can and will do something about it. Cause hey, if they were able to bulldoze in and force WWX to actually feel his feelings, they can do this too! So now, their new goal is to get these two grown-ass adults to talk. Although technically, WWX is only a few years older, and a great deal more traumatized than them too. They’re aware of it. But they’d rather not think too much about it because they most definitely didn’t cry for hours on end after they got him to talk and started thinking about his life. And they most definitely didn’t attract attention when, weeks later, they finally grasped the scope of everything that their seniors had suffered when they had been even younger than they were at that moment.

LJY and OYZZ would be totally and completely over-invested in this. They’d scheme and help JL trace a plan for how and when to talk to each of them individually to subtly let them know how he felt. LSZ would use his power as heir and acting sect leader to stage the encounter among the three of them, securing LWJ’s reluctant approval after a great deal of convincing. And JL would trigger the conversation with a spontaneous outburst at his two uncles’ ridiculous yearning. They’d probably use a combination of WWX’s inventions and Lan techniques to lock them into a room, and force them to talk and have a truthful heart to heart, and they’d hope that after that, everything would be okay.

A LONG bout of silence later, they’d hear shouting and objects shattering and hitting the floor. They’d hear them fight, without sensing any spiritual or resentful energy of any kind, and LWJ would have to be stopped from dismantling the arrays and talismans in place just so he could go pounce on JC’s throat himself. The blows would soon be replaced with more silence, then soft murmurs. Sobbing. More yelling, and cracked voices. It’d be almost time for waking up the next morning when the arrays disappeared on their own. The doors opening to show the two brothers splayed on the floor next to each other, robes and hair disastrously askew. Holding their forearms over their eyes, barely covering the tear trails and reddened cheeks, their chests would be rising peacefully as they’d finally seem to sleep from exhaustion. LWJ’s eyes would get stuck on the way their fingertips touch ever so slightly. The ducklings don’t say a thing, but they’d totally stare too. JL would be the one to break the silence and tell everyone they should be going to sleep as well (and if LSZ and LJY see JL’s glassy eyes and a lone tear… no, they don’t).

Would that be it? Nope. Haven’t I said already it’s not easy? They’d have started talking and acknowledging that they both want the same thing, but it’s still not enough. They’d have to WORK for it. Hard. They would need to build a support system if they wanted to achieve the relationship they want to have. LWJ would have to start seeing JC as a person, and one that is able to give his Wei Ying the happiness he deserves, now that he’s at it. JC would have to start relying more on the other adults in his live. And it wouldn’t hurt WWX if he expanded his circle to include people other than his husband, his son, his son’s friends, and his undead cinnamon-roll of a friend.

In this way, they would be working on their respective issues to obtain each other’s forgiveness. They would face setbacks on more than one occasion, questioning whether it’s even worthwhile. This is the only way I see them regaining trust in each other.

The two of them mending their relationship without strong external factors would be OOC and unrealistic. It doesn’t matter if you’re going by MDZS or CQL canon. Although if we’re going by CQL canon, I don’t think they would ever go further than the ‘avoiding each other’ stage, and neither would any plot device help them do it. CQL WWX is very tame in the war-crime front and even though he’s just as ‘selflessly’ quick to put himself in harm’s way as in the novel, nobody can blame him for an attack that was clearly planned years before (most of the ‘facts’ stated on the novel turned out to be complete hearsay and/or senseless bullshit, this translates to CQL too even though if the censorship fucked a big part of this by drawing extreme caricatures of everyone). His misdeeds boil down to war crimes of varying moral weight, and not trusting people enough to include them in decisions they should’ve been included in, cause JZX and JYL’s deaths were caused by SMS.

And CQL JC is… not good. His decision to completely ignore the Wens even when he personally knew them and knew they had helped them repeatedly (first encounter in the Dafan Mountain and then, after the fall of Lotus Pier) meant he’s the only character to blatantly disregard a life debt, one he had to the Wen siblings. And on top of that, he still pulls the same shit that novel JC does after WWX returns, which makes him even worse.

Novel JC, on the other hand, took the right decision by not getting involved with the Wens. They were complete strangers, and he couldn’t risk the safety of the sect and the people of Yunmeng. He was powerless against the wishes and whims of the cultivational world cause that's how politics work. You’re forced to choose duty towards your people over your heart.

But let’s get back on track. I’ll make a full post on my view of JC as whole another time. The reason why it would be so complicated and they’d have to work so hard towards mending their relationship is that they would first have to realize that they cannot go back to how things were before. JC would need to recognize that WWX is not to blame for all his misfortunes and he’d have to apologize for all the fucked-up shit he does after WWX’s return. Psychologically torturing his 21-year-old brother with dogs while being a 34 year-old sect leader that has had 13 years to deal with his emotions was a dick-move of the highest category. And so it is the stunt he pulls right before the golden-core reveal at Lotus Pier. Yes, the golden-core transfer was sketchy but made complete sense. Yunmeng Jiang needed a leader and WWX was not fit for the role, not due to a lack of skills, but because it would’ve worked as badly as JGY given how the whole Jianghu cared only about birth status and nothing else.

This doesn’t mean that JC’s evil, WWX is the ultimate child-abuse victim, and that JC should never get close to WWX ever again (I’m looking at you, JC antis, though this whole post is also a call-out to JC apologists, cause he ain’t no innocent snowflake wronged by bad, evil /WWX/YLLZ). It simply means that JC has to claim responsibility. He also needs to see that just like WWX was abused, he and JYL were victims of the same abuse. They both need to come to terms with that fact and know that they had some sort of trauma-bond given that JC’s coping mechanism for enduring the abuse was reflecting that same abusive behavior on WWX. Yes, siblings who grow up abused often abuse each other as well, and/or end up enabling their abusers through a fawn response (this was JYL’s case).

TLDR; I love the idea of these two hot-heads making up and having strong feelings about each other. But the abuse they endured growing up, and the abyss it slowly carved up between them is something they both need to acknowledge and heal from before even considering the idea of mending their relationship. That, and the extend of the wounds they’ve inflicted on each other since WWX returned are things I don’t see them working on unless prompted by external forces. Their relationship is too complicated and nuanced for anything other than that being possible, which means that they wouldn't be able to forgive and trust each other unless some freaking major plot-event forced them to actually talk. That’s why I see their reconciliation as highly unlikely.

[mbti-notes]

Hey, hope you are doing well ! I had a question concerning one issue i’m dealing with.

I’m a 19yo ENFJ. In the ENFJ ego development article, i recognize myself when it’s say « you imagining being criticized ». I’ve noticed that when i’m sharing an opinion, when i’m expressing my feelings, or when i let someone know that i didn’t like something they did to me, i imagine them saying like the worst things to me and i get angry, defensive, as if they really did. Lately it has gotten a little better because when it starts, i’m able to tell myself that it is all in my mind, that i can’t tell that they will react like this, that it won’t help to assume the worse, that those people would never do me like that. But it’s still is really stressful and overwhelming. Any tips to manage it and understand it better ?

You seem to be referring to underlying self-esteem and self-worth issues that are common for FJs, so I suggest you read past posts. As explained in the Type Dev guide, the key to personality development lies in the auxiliary function. It provides introverted balance to extraverts (as well as extraverted balance to introverts).

To be an "immature" ENFJ basically means Fe+Se often run away into extremes because there is no introverted counterbalancing force. Such ENFJs only know to define people's identity or measure their worth through external appearances. As long as you can maintain the appearance of being a good person through obtaining momentary praise from others, then you're really a good person? As long as you can maintain the appearance of harmony by submitting to others and denying the disharmony you feel within, then your relationships are really strong? Proper auxiliary Ni development should help counter this superficial way of thinking.

Do you live your life as though you're always performing? Is the way you behave in front of others the entirety of who you are? Is there nothing inside you that exists independently from how others perceive you? If you're constantly allowing others to define and measure you, you will suffer from insecurity, since your feelings about yourself will shift with every little change in the social winds.

Developing introverted functions involves forming a stronger sense of self with a solid personal boundary, and possessing inner substance that others don't always see and can't touch. As such, your opinion about yourself should matter just as much, if not more than outside opinions. An important aspect of ego development is learning how to be an independent individual, to stand on your own two feet and stand up for yourself as necessary. Of course, you can learn to advocate for yourself in a way that produces as little harm to others as possible, e.g., by improving your communication skills or conflict resolution skills.

The purpose of Ni+Ti development is to connect with the whole truth. It sounds like the root of your problem is that you don't operate on truth but merely on insecurity. The consequence of caring more about surface appearances than underlying truth is that you won't know the truth of who you are, and your naivete makes you gullible and susceptible to any and every attempt by others to influence you (for good or bad). But when you value the truth above all else and know how to connect to the whole truth of who you are, the words of others will only matter to you to the extent that they are truthful.

[shakertwelve]

Hey hii hello hiiii what do u think was Marquis trigger backstory? Since ur the professional on him and we don’t know shit about him(besides his apparent vampirism lmfao)

Interested in your marquis backstory thoughts because his power implies a lot but I can’t quite put it together - there’s SOMETHING that he feels the bones breaking each time and doesn’t show it but idk what. Forced to play into a role even as it causes agony? Macabre leaning? What’s goin on there

SO the first big thing about marquis's background is that i really don't think he grew up with any wealth or comfort at all—his cape persona is a performance that he's putting on to get as far as possible from his much more humble origins, imo. heathcliff stuff. obvious tension of identity there that fits with a changer power and also makes sense with his pain tolerance, which suggests he's had a lot of experience bearing through pain without any help, and the way he talks; he often sounds like he's picking his words deliberately and even trying to give off an air of sophistication, but he never actually uses any words that are especially fancy or obscure. ward messes with this a bit by making him act like an actual cartoon vampire sometimes, but i think i'm still pretty close to the mark.

at one point he mentions that his father was a doctor, but i don't think the man he's referring to there is his biological father—his wish for the brigade not to put amelia into the foster system makes me think he himself spent some time in the system and didn't enjoy it (pretty plausible, especially considering this would've been in the 70s and 80s) before he eventually ended up with the man he thinks of as his father, which is why he's hopeful that amelia will be alright if she's with a good family from the start.

if anything i think he probably grew up more like rachel than anyone else in the cast, but while rachel dealt with being treated badly by human society by forming connections with her dogs instead, marquis never totally gave up on the idea that he could prove himself to be worthy. his dedication to being a "noble" villain, to me, seems like it comes from an almost childish sense of fairness; he has to believe that if he makes himself respectable, people will recognize it and respect him, if he holds himself to a higher standard he won't just be treated as another criminal, if he chooses his words carefully enough he won't be misinterpreted, and if he trusts his daughter to the dallons they'll rise to the occasion and take care of her. it's something he notes makes it difficult for him to understand amy once they're reunited, because she lacks that same internal drive; she's already seen that no matter what she did, she was never really treated like she belonged in the dallon family, so she can't make herself care enough to try anymore. my guess is that it's different for marquis because he had a father figure he actually looked up to, who (in marquis's memories) was a self-made man who was respected on his own terms, and if his father did it right, he can, too.

in a literal sense, his power is the ability to contort himself into any shape that could possibly be wanted from him, but he has to keep breaking himself over and over again to do it—and he does! his shard doesn't even need to throw in anything to protect him from the pain, because he's already willing to do anything just to become someone who can be accepted like he wants. trying to describe the exact moment of his trigger would take more speculation (i could sketch out a timeline but i'd really just be making up the details), but i think those are the underlying issues that are already cooking in his head when it happens.

[sailforvalinor]

You know, I’ve said for a really long time that I dislike enemies-to-lovers, but I’ve realized this isn’t actually the case—I just dislike badly executed enemies-to-lovers. And, because this is possibly the most popular romance trope in YA (and most other literature, if we’re being honest), we’re seeing a lot of bad enemies-to-lovers right now.

I think what really irritates me about it most of the time is that authors want the "enemies-to-lovers" dynamic but don't really want to put in the work involved to make it convincing. Characters have to have some reason to hate each other to this degree, have to have some foundation for their relationship to stand on, but sometimes authors just want to skip to the witty banter in the ballroom or the intense rapier duel on the roof with underlying romantic tension without justifying to me why all this drama is happening in the first place.

Also, a lot of authors, especially in the YA fantasy genre, seem to default to "we are on opposite sides of a political conflict" or "you said something rude to me the first day we met" as a format to copy-and-paste their protagonists into and then leave it at that. And to be clear, there isn't anything wrong with these formats--plenty of good stories exist with these used as their basic structure! But it becomes a problem when you plug in a trope like this and assume it will do all the heavy lifting for you. It can easily come across as boring or lazy writing, just like with any poorly-employed cliche or trope.

However, cliches and tropes are not bad! The reason that an idea becomes a cliche or a trope is because it is so generally well-liked that authors are motivated to use it over and over again. These ideas naturally become cliches when they are used so much that the audience gets worn out on them, or it is used as a shortcut by less experienced authors to hide poor writing. But this does not mean you have to avoid any and all cliches at all times. One of the best skills to build as a writer is recognizing when you are using a cliche, and how you can best work that cliche to your advantage—giving the cliche a fun twist, adding layers and details (and-then-isms), subverting the cliche entirely, or just committing to the bit and writing the cliche straight as best as you possibly can.

All of this to say, here are a few variants, subversions, and fun employments of the enemies-to-lovers trope that I just personally think work really well:

Both people strongly and vocally dislike each other, but there deliberately doesn’t seem to be any logical reason as to why, at least to the audience—and it doesn’t really matter (Benedick and Beatrice from Much Ado About Nothing. Also I realize that there is a line that suggests that they may have possibly been engaged at some point before the play, but I would argue that since we never find out why they fell out, and this is never brought up as a major plot point, it doesn’t really matter.)

Person A is a part of a group or regime that actively harmed Person B or someone close to them, but Person A was not actually directly involved—however, Person B still holds Person A responsible (Zutara, I still think Kataang is superior, but I won’t deny that this ship works. This one can be a bit cringy if played up too much or if it goes on for too long, but it works as a short-term stint)

Both people make snap judgements on the other’s character upon their first meeting—judgements that are incorrect—and go on to wrongly villainize each other’s character (Lizzie and Darcy from Pride and Prejudice, of course)

Person A did some grievous wrong to Person B in a past life, but one or neither of them remembers until they’re already in love (Reaper and Sunny from Goblin, I realize this is a little specific but my gosh does it slap and people should do it more often)

Similarly, Person A and Person B communicate via indirect means under aliases (i.e. letters, emails, chat rooms) and are falling in love, but hate each other in real life (You’ve Got Mail/She Loves Me)

Person A is sent to assassinate or otherwise harm Person B by the organization that they work for, but when Person B kills them with kindness it makes them spiral into a huge identity crisis (Luke Skywalker and Mara Jade from Star Wars Legends. I really need to do a complete breakdown of this ship sometime because it goes so much deeper than this, but there is way too much to talk about with them on this post—suffice it to say that they are very underrated and absolutely fantastic)

Classic enemies-to-lovers except it’s only one-sided—Person A hates Person B but Person B is absolutely clueless. I can’t think of a good example of this right now but I know I love it when I see it

Neither of them really actively dislikes each other, but they’ve gained such a reputation for their bickering that to admit that they might like each other would be too embarrassing and a blow to their public image (again, can’t think of an example but I know I’ve seen it done...I guess the latter half of Much Ado counts)

Classic enemies-to-lovers but instead of transitioning directly to lovers they become friends, leading into a enemies-to-friends-to-lovers pipeline—the best of both worlds! (Again, Luke and Mara. Also dare I say Raven and Beast Boy in Teen Titans kinda-sorta?)

[thorraborinn]

have you ever posted your thoughts on Crawford's translation of the Poetic Edda? if you have any of course

Crawford's translation succeeds at what it sets out to do, which is to be entertainment for a widespread, popular audience. The result is that it's less suitable for coming to know what the Old Icelandic says, because source texts really are genuinely difficult, confusing, probably corrupt, and otherwise disorienting. Crawford uses quite a lot of artistic license to make it smoother, more coherent, and more entertaining. We can also compare Hollander's translation of the Edda, which translates it into poetic meter, and subordinates accuracy of translation to the goal of turning it into English-language poetry. It's a work of art, but I wouldn't use it for a deep dive into the meaning of the poems.

The example stanza I like to use is the second half of Völuspá 23/28 (the numbering is different by source). The context is that this immediately follows the mention of Gullveig/Heiðr, of her being speared and burnt in Hávi's hall and her coming back to life each time. Right after this stanza starts the description of the war between the Æsir and Vanir. OIce text from the Íslenzk fornrit edition:

hvárt skyldu æsir afráð gjalda eða skyldu goðin ǫll gildi eiga.

This means something like the following. I'm doing a super close, literal translation, guided by the Íslenzk fornrit edition of the Poetic Edda, and I'm linking to dictionary entries for key words:

'whether should (the) æsir pay afráð [either 'tribute' or 'compensation for damages'] or should the gods all have [tribute; (rarely) compensation]'

I think it's worth emphasizing that this actually is confusing. It's not clear whether the word goð 'gods' means both the Æsir and the Vanir, it's not clear who is providing the gildi that that "all the gods" are having. It's often interpreted to be something about whether human worshipers should make offerings to both Æsir and Vanir, but human worshipers are not mentioned here anywhere. I don't mind telling you that my personal interpretation is that the Æsir are debating which of two forms of reciprocation-based relationship is better: violence or kinship. But I wouldn't put that into a translation.

Here's Crawford's translation:

about whether they should endure Gullveig’s depradations or whether they should seek revenge.

As far as telling a story goes, this is much more sensible and coherent than what the Old Norse text actually says, but again, it's not what it says. Most of Crawford's translation doesn't go this far in defying the source text, but this stanza in particular is better described as a retelling than a translation.

Here's Larrington's 2014 translation (the one I've been recommending since it was published, and which is much better than her first edition):

'whether the Æsir should yield the tribute or whether all the gods should share sacrificial feasts.'

This is far and away closer to the source text than Crawford's. In my opinion it does border on editorializing that she translates gildi to 'sacrificial feasts'; that is certainly a possible underlying intention, but it does not reflect the semantic range of the word gildi. Underlying this translation is generations of scholarly debate about the meaning; this is a common understanding of what it meant here although it isn't universal.

Here's Pettit:

'whether the Æsir must pay a great penalty, or all the gods must have offerings.'

This is probably as close as one can get to a direct, literal translation in plain English (as opposed to what I did above). It's also endnoted with a warning that the interpretation is uncertain. It leaves it about as confusing as the actual Old Icelandic text actually is.

How much all of this matters depends on the reader and what they're trying to get out of it. If someone just likes Amon Amarth and wants to read cool Norse shit then Crawford's translation is probably ideal, and Pettit's is more likely to make them think that Norse poetry sucks and isn't worth getting into. But on the other hand if someone is, say, a heathen who venerates Gullveig, they are more likely to find the nuances important.

For more opinions on Crawford's translation, see: https://www.mimisbrunnr.info/eddic-to-english-jackson-crawford-2015

[watchmorecinema]

Normally I just post about movies but I'm a software engineer by trade so I've got opinions on programming too.

Apparently it's a month of code or something because my dash is filled with people trying to learn Python. And that's great, because Python is a good language with a lot of support and job opportunities. I've just got some scattered thoughts that I thought I'd write down.

Python abstracts a number of useful concepts. It makes it easier to use, but it also means that if you don't understand the concepts then things might go wrong in ways you didn't expect. Memory management and pointer logic is so damn annoying, but you need to understand them. I learned these concepts by learning C++, hopefully there's an easier way these days.

Data structures and algorithms are the bread and butter of any real work (and they're pretty much all that come up in interviews) and they're language agnostic. If you don't know how to traverse a linked list, how to use recursion, what a hash map is for, etc. then you don't really know how to program. You'll pretty much never need to implement any of them from scratch, but you should know when to use them; think of them like building blocks in a Lego set.

Learning a new language is a hell of a lot easier after your first one. Going from Python to Java is mostly just syntax differences. Even "harder" languages like C++ mostly just mean more boilerplate while doing the same things. Learning a new spoken language in is hard, but learning a new programming language is generally closer to learning some new slang or a new accent. Lists in Python are called Vectors in C++, just like how french fries are called chips in London. If you know all the underlying concepts that are common to most programming languages then it's not a huge jump to a new one, at least if you're only doing all the most common stuff. (You will get tripped up by some of the minor differences though. Popping an item off of a stack in Python returns the element, but in Java it returns nothing. You have to read it with Top first. Definitely had a program fail due to that issue).

The above is not true for new paradigms. Python, C++ and Java are all iterative languages. You move to something functional like Haskell and you need a completely different way of thinking. Javascript (not in any way related to Java) has callbacks and I still don't quite have a good handle on them. Hardware languages like VHDL are all synchronous; every line of code in a program runs at the same time! That's a new way of thinking.

Python is stereotyped as a scripting language good only for glue programming or prototypes. It's excellent at those, but I've worked at a number of (successful) startups that all were Python on the backend. Python is robust enough and fast enough to be used for basically anything at this point, except maybe for embedded programming. If you do need the fastest speed possible then you can still drop in some raw C++ for the places you need it (one place I worked at had one very important piece of code in C++ because even milliseconds mattered there, but everything else was Python). The speed differences between Python and C++ are so much smaller these days that you only need them at the scale of the really big companies. It makes sense for Google to use C++ (and they use their own version of it to boot), but any company with less than 100 engineers is probably better off with Python in almost all cases. Honestly thought the best programming language is the one you like, and the one that you're good at.

Design patterns mostly don't matter. They really were only created to make up for language failures of C++; in the original design patterns book 17 of the 23 patterns were just core features of other contemporary languages like LISP. C++ was just really popular while also being kinda bad, so they were necessary. I don't think I've ever once thought about consciously using a design pattern since even before I graduated. Object oriented design is mostly in the same place. You'll use classes because it's a useful way to structure things but multiple inheritance and polymorphism and all the other terms you've learned really don't come into play too often and when they do you use the simplest possible form of them. Code should be simple and easy to understand so make it as simple as possible. As far as inheritance the most I'm willing to do is to have a class with abstract functions (i.e. classes where some functions are empty but are expected to be filled out by the child class) but even then there are usually good alternatives to this.

Related to the above: simple is best. Simple is elegant. If you solve a problem with 4000 lines of code using a bunch of esoteric data structures and language quirks, but someone else did it in 10 then I'll pick the 10. On the other hand a one liner function that requires a lot of unpacking, like a Python function with a bunch of nested lambdas, might be easier to read if you split it up a bit more. Time to read and understand the code is the most important metric, more important than runtime or memory use. You can optimize for the other two later if you have to, but simple has to prevail for the first pass otherwise it's going to be hard for other people to understand. In fact, it'll be hard for you to understand too when you come back to it 3 months later without any context.

Note that I've cut a few things for simplicity. For example: VHDL doesn't quite require every line to run at the same time, but it's still a major paradigm of the language that isn't present in most other languages.

Ok that was a lot to read. I guess I have more to say about programming than I thought. But the core ideas are: Python is pretty good, other languages don't need to be scary, learn your data structures and algorithms and above all keep your code simple and clean.

[avelera]

may I ask if in your 1589 fic, despite all the messed-upness of it and the hate sex and the consent issues, if there is some underlying love/care for the other (not necessarily at the beginning! but maybe as they keep seeing each other?). I only ask because I really really care about dreamling and while I love the more hardcore kinky stuff I can't really stomach it if there's no caring for one another at all at least buried deep somewhere in there with a pairing I care about so much.

It's totally okay if you don't wanna say/it's spoilers, I'll deal ^_^

So at the risk of spoilers, I will say short answer: yes, there is genuine care and love for one another (eventually on Dream's part but from the beginning on Hob's part) in this fic. It's not just vicious hate fucking and indeed, there'll even be some moments of angst and pathos mixed in around this point.

Long answer below the cut:

This fic has at its root a few deeper emotions beyond kink and hate fucking which emerged while I've been writing it.

From Dream's POV, it's not just that he hates Hob for being a vulgar materialist, it's that he hates that 1489 Hob who saw such wonder in the world and who had picked up a trade in printing books had pivoted to being a vulgar materialist. This genuinely hurt Dream's feelings for reasons he does not dare name, like his burgeoning crush on Hob. He wouldn't be this angry with Hob if he didn't deep down care that Hob disappointed him this much with his choices.

There's also a running thread of Dream not really believing anyone can actually stomach him if they knew him. He's got trauma from Nada, Killalla, Calliope, and Alianora sloshing around in his head in this fic and we're going to address all of it through the challenges he throws at Hob. Because really, deep down, this competition quickly becomes Dream trying to prove that if Hob really knew him, darkness and all, he'd never actually want to be with Dream. Hob surviving and indeed seeming to enjoy inexplicably all these challenges begins, slowly, to give Dream the barest hint of hope that maybe he underestimated Hob in truth and, maybe, Hob really is someone who can withstand even the worst parts of Dream.

For his part, Hob's pathos comes from the fact he's actually quite scared of getting married and/or falling in love again only to have lovers die on him over and over. Yes, his reasons for proposing are a bit selfish on this front, but he is sincere in his desire to share the fruits of his labors this past century with Dream specifically, since he sees Dream as his patron, muse, and inspiration. And if Dream accepts, then Hob never needs to worry about getting his heart broken again. Dream takes a dim view of this, thinking Hob's motives are entirely selfish, but over time we see how Hob really does care about Dream, darkness, sadism, bitchiness, and all. He really is, genuinely, into all the weird kink stuff Dream throws at him becaue Dream paying attention to him is his real kink, deep down, and this is what Dream can't possibly fathom. That anyone, much less Hob, would want Dream so badly that it doesn't matter what he does, they just want to spend time with him is incomprehensible to Dream (and, arguably, exactly what he needs: a partner as crazy and obsessed as he is).

This is MOSTLY a smutty comedy so I'm not going to say to expect "Giving Sanctuary" levels of pathos, but I will say that lurking beneath the surface of this story is how two genuinely awful people fucked each other to the point of becoming slightly better people, found out that they're kink-compatible, and fall in love despite Dream's best efforts. Because that's hilarious to me.

[ihopesocomic]

realized that MP's weird "masculinity = bad" agenda that the other anon brought up very clearly also shows up w/ their writing of hover as a gender non-conforming/butch lesbian.. due to the fact that she takes on a more traditionally masc role in lion society and is also an obvious stereotype. she's in this weird limbo where she's written to be cruel and abusive like the males in the series but since she's a lioness the narrative kind of tries to wave it away and expect us still to find her likable. it's weird

Like we've said before, we don't even know if a masculinity=bad or even an anti-man message was intended. But it's certainly there anyway.

I mentioned this in one of my last Hover rants, but it's not lost on me that the two butch lesbians that are in canonical relationships are both crass and awful. (Karabi is just fortunate enough to have less screen time than Hover.) I don't really need to go over speciics of what they do, but the short version is they both are irrationally furious with their stereotypically-feminine parter. Or in Hover's case she's treated like being flippant and offensive is cool (or that she's allowed to be ableist so long as its against a guy she doesn't like.) and is either dismissive of Nothing's concerns or flat out isn't interested in her needs when it's more important to punish her. In Karabi's case when Kyoga is keeping their relationship a secret, her impulse is to question her love for her, instead of being sympathetic to the position she's in and actually trying to find a solution.

(And I won't get into Hover's broken personality when she wants to join the pride lol)

When I see toxic masculinity presented in a butch lesbian character, and it's never brought up or called out or improved, I side-eye the writers, no matter who they are. And no matter whether the character is "intended" to be one we side with. Because this has been a harmful stereotype for decades, and yet it shows up in a character it doesn't even make sense for it to have. So I can't help but think about whether these characters exist the way they are because there's conscious or subconscious prejudices floating around and it was possibly never even addressed by a single person during the editing process. (Or if it was brought up, it was ignored.)

There's always been this underlying judgement of butches (or transmasculine people in general) that we're "trying to be like men" and it's like uh lol That also just kind of shows how little they know. (It's almost like butches have a complicated relationship with gender or something, what a novel concept.) And yet. People keep continuing to write us this way. Now why on earth would that be? Oh yea cuz its all people see in media (bar a few outliers). Now I'm gonna stop myself before I go on an 8 year tangent unpacking why "trying to be like men" would entail being emotionally stunted and rude. Good lort.

And I don't really want to hear that "Hover is a reincarnation of Karabi, that's why they're both big and muscular" because that's not stated in the show. And I don't want to hear anything about manes and hormone levels, quite frankly I'm over granting this show the "realism" argument in any degree. The fans care more about the realism than the show does lol Especially as far as it's queer representation is concerned. - Cat

[keithbutgay]

🍼🍓💗🦋🍃 for the ask game? /nf

i think its interesting that like half of these are about romantic relationships but. idk maybe thats just me :P

🍼- what's your favorite memory?

🍓- one secret about yourself

💗- who do you miss?

🦋- how do you think others perceive you?

🍃- would you rather live in a sea with mermaids or a forest with fairies? (or middle name i can't tell so i'll just answer both :PP)

(for what it's worth i also thought it was really interesting that a lot of them were about romantic relationships :PP)

okay i wrote like. a fuck ton. so i'll put it under the cut haha

favorite memory... um this one's hard. i have a really awful memory and like i'm sure i've had genuine good moments in my life but so many of the ones i can remember have had some underlying awfulness to them

um

sorry that's like. bad---

when i moved about five years ago, my sister and i built a sort of fort with the couch and mattresses. we hadn't wanted to move houses but this was like. the day of the move. and we were eating bagels, she had poppy and i had sesame. anyways we got seeds on the mattress but it was really nice. there's still seeds on our mattresses. hers has poppy.

i think another one of my favorite memories is working on the percy jackson musical. not because it wasn't like an absolutely awful time because. well. yeah. but because i got to meet y'all and there were definitely really good moments for me, especially with the graffiti and also like. vat7k :P

um moving on i guess---

a secret about myself. ummm this one's hard cause like. i do hide things a lot. but i wouldn't consider them secrets... especially cause you probably know about them lol

um... maybe that. i'm scared to call myself neurodivergent because i'm undiagnosed and i'm worried that i'm just making it all up and just like. have more severe anxiety and depression than i thought?

idk

is that a secret?

oh well

um next question (sorry this is so long---)

who do i miss? okay so i've answered this one on a different ask game and i really really don't want to repeat it um i could talk about another person i guess?

i had this friend who i knew for a year. they um. helped me a lot. but they were in a really bad mental state, and were constantly in the hospital. they didn't talk to me all that much either, because i would hang around their boyfriend, and they would rather talk to him than me. but anyways i really didn't know them that well, i did go to their house once and we met up a few times but they moved to another state three years ago and haven't talked to me since. anyways it's complicated but they're basically. um. dead. i used to write them little "letters" on a doc actually, but i haven't opened that doc in a while---

anyways

this got angsty very quickly moving on

aaaaa okay this is hard

like. my brain tells me everyone hates me. logically, i know that they don't.

okay maybe i should rephrase

i don't want to believe that people see me as anything better than like. trash. i know that people do but i don't want to believe that and my brain makes that part very easy for me by yelling that they're only here out of pity and they don't actually care about me? so idk

maybe

maybe i think that the people who don't know me perceive me as the weird guy in the corner who doesn't know what he's doing ever and is really annoying and like should never be interacted with

and the people who do know me perceive me as infinitely better than i actually am and i. wish they didn't because i'm going to disappoint them no matter what because i'm not who *they* perceive

okay anyways

i would rather live in the sea with mermaids. i fucking love mermaids. i've wanted to live in the ocean with mermaids for my entire life. sea creatures are my life actually i love them so much especially jellyfish i would let a jellyfish eat me in the most normal way possible. the waterfire saga, above world series, emily windsnap, and mermaid tales did this to me.

also my middle name is technically isabelle but i'm ignoring that in favor of ian like ian kabra from 39 clues because i'm very gay

but ian doesn't sound great with either of my names so i'll probably rethink that one--- :PP

[charmedreincarnation]

Hyy , I need some urgent help with the void. I really just want to tap in and live happily.

DO READ AND HELP, PLEASE !

So I have thins feeling that my subconscious mind is stopping me from tapping in to protect me. I want to break free from a pattern that I have seen in my LoA journey. I know about it since almost 4 years , however for all desires I have had I have failed to get them , no I am not saying I did everything and still nothing worked. I tried to do some things but would always find a way to not manifest it. For instance , I wanted weight loss and I started affirming for it. And started having doubts such as I should'nt manifest it because that would mean I don't love my body , or I started thinking my weight loss would manifest in a negative way/something negative would happen for my weight loss. So now I started seeing my weight loss in bad light. I really want it at the same time am scared to get it too. Its just one instance , the same has happened for everything else, like exam scores , sp , manifesting beauty etc.

Now when I came to know about the void, I was more than happy and relieved that I could have it all. But the same things happened , I started seeing void in negative light. If I tap in the void and master it I can have whatever I want in life and later on I might want things that scare me now, or what if I would feel "empty" if I have it all, I am just so comfortable living in misery that the thought of having what I want feels so out of reach. I badly want it but cant seem to have it, I know we can have anything and all things are possible but no matter how much I try to let that sink in it doesn't. I just feel this feeling that my subconscious is trying to protect me from tapping in and getting my desires because for so long that is what has happened, I have found a way to think negatively about having my desires why would I tap in the void now and have it all. I hate this pattern , I hate when I have the "hope" of having all I want but then I fall back because I find a way to think negatively about what I want.

I am trying my best to not sound desparate and miserable but the truth is I am. Despite knowing about the law and the void and how easy it is I have thos gloomy and hazy feeling always envelope me when it comes to having my desires.

First of all, it's important to acknowledge that it's perfectly normal to feel scared or unsure when it comes to manifesting your desires. Change can be scary, even if it's a change you really want.

One thing that might be helpful is to examine the underlying beliefs you have around your desires. For example, you say you have a belief that weight loss means you don't love your body,but why shouldn’t you have the desire you have, butIt’s the opposite lol. you’re doing what you think is best for yourself and mindset, and there’s nothing negative about change. You’re still the same person so don’t reduce yourself to your body, your face, or any of your desires tbh. Take some time to identify any limiting beliefs you might have, and work on shifting them.

Another helpful approach is to focus on the feelings you want to experience, rather than the specific outcomes you want to manifest. So instead of focusing on weight loss or a specific exam score, focus on feeling healthy, confident, and successful. This can help you detach from the specific outcome and allow the universe to bring you what you need to experience those feelings.

When it comes to tapping into the void, remember that the void is simply a space of unlimited potential. There's no need to feel scared or overwhelmed by it. You can start by setting small intentions and manifesting smaller desires, and build up to bigger desires as you feel more comfortable.

But babe, just remember to be patient and compassionate with yourself. it's okay to have doubts and fears along the way. Keep working on shifting your beliefs and focusing on the feelings you want to experience, and trust that the universe is working to bring you what you need, because it is, and you deserve it.