#I don't really have any other skills other than doing That. and I hate doing That

[tookishcombeferre]

Thanks for the tag @shychick-52

So, this, I've thought a lot about actually.

The whole Protector sublot both does and does not make sense to me. I've watched it all the way through twice now, and I really, really don't like it. (Personally.)

My personal issues with the Protector subplot are as follows:

I dislike the fact that it encourages secret keeping from trusted adults (Mom, Dad, Aunt Tilly, Mr. Cedric, etc.) which is something that the show actively states is wrong in the previous episode about Gnarly and the Fliegel. ("The Fliegel has Landed" is one of my top 5 episodes, right up there with "Substitute Cedric" in terms of life lessons taught and their importance.)

I dislike the fact that it makes all the adult characters feel really stupid and flat as characters. They have absolutely no, to use a DnD term, passive perception - apparently - because they never notice Sofia is missing. They're all completely incompetent, and it makes no sense.

I just have an absolute personal disdain for the way Sofia is treated by the Protectors. She is *not* a teenager. She is not a mini-adult. Sofia is 11 ... 11 and 1/2 at the most, and Chrysta treats her like she's a minimum of 15 or 16 and I hate it.

However, my primary issues, as a parent, are with points one and three.

Someone. I do not care who. From Sofia's initial trusted circle should be with her in the Mystic Isles. Mom. Dad. Cedric. Tilly. SOMEONE. (Who is not an animal.) Should be with her to supervise.

I know the show spends a lot of time establishing Minimus as a guardian of sorts. He's really protective. He's safety conscious ... HE'S A HORSE. A smart horse. But, he's a horse.

I cannot describe to you how WITH Miranda I am with every. single. word. that comes out of her mouth in the finale I am. But, I am. I am with Miranda 3,000%.

Trust me when I say Squish and I will be having a long talk in the next couple months about how Sofia made some BAD choices about not telling her family about Prisma AS SOON as she was encountered. Prisma should have been the FIRST thing Amber and Sofia were talking about at the dinner table, the first thing Sofia was talking to Cedric about the next time she visited the tower, and Baileywick should have been on HIGH ALERT for any sign of her. Period.

There is no way Sofia should have been keeping her Protector status from her parents and trusted inner circle. Nope! Nope, nope! Bad writing. Terrible writing! No thanks. Don't like it.

And, I suppose, if the Protectors actually treated Sofia like a child in school, someone who was *learning* how to adventure and not actively putting her in danger, it might not be so bad. But, the first thing Chrysta does is like basically feed Sofia to polar bears ... so like ... I don't exactly trust these people's judgement. Nor do I trust them with the life and emotional well being of an 11 to 12 year old kid.

(Again, I am speaking as a parent. Y'all are free to feel however you want about the Protectors, I just ... I hate them. I'm sorry. Maybe that has something to do with the fact that I also had a lot of responsibility heaped on me by adults who I was supposed to trust at a young age so it just hits me in a sore spot? But, oooo I just cannot *stand* them. "Get this by sunset." "Save us Sofia, you're our only hope!" "You have to help us!" "We're basically minor gods, but we're helpless!" ICK! Major ick!)

And, before anyone asks the difference between the Protectors (specifically Chrysta) and Cedric?

He's actually useful! He actually teaches Sofia useful skills! What does Chrysta do other than complain about stuff and tell Sofia to do better without showing Sofia anything? SOFIA HAS TO TEACH CHRYSTA HOW TO TEACH!??! Like, what? Excuse me???? Huh??? What are we doing here? This is a show for children! Please, please, I am begging you! Let the adults have at least one competent bone in their body. It will not detract from having the child as your main character. I promise.

Meanwhile, Cedric taught Sofia and the rest of her classmates better in one class period than the Good Fairies did in like 2 whole years! And that's while he was still "evil!" (And strapped to a chair.) Like, hello?? (Maybe the real lesson is just that fairies are just notoriously bad teachers? I dunno.)

So, like, yes, Chrysta improves as a mentor. Fine. I'll give you that. But, she still treats Sofia WELL more like a peer than a mentee. And, I'm not super comfortable with that? I don't like the dialogue between them. I don't exactly know how old Chrysta is supposed to be, but she's definitely older than Sofia is. Maybe she's supposed like an older teen? I'm not sure. But, I do not like the way that they're coded as equals. There was a clear and distinctive barrier between Cedric as Mentor and Sofia as Apprentice literally from the episode in which she was called that onward. And, while Sofia is CALLED a trainee by Chrysta. That is NOT coded into their relationship in the same way it is in other relationships Sofia has in the show.

And, I. Do. Not. Like. That.

Chrysta is dismissive. She's arrogant. She's mean. She's not likeable. She actively blames Sofia for stuff that isn't her fault. I mean, dang, I wouldn't blame Cedric for getting into a fist fight with Chrysta just for putting Sofia though more than half the crap people put him through his whole life.

And, yes. These are all things that Cedric also can be and was throughout his redemption arc, but he is also shown over and over again to be equal parts protective and caring as well as being a mean and arrogant. Chrysta is just ... not protective or helpful.

Sofia ends up saving Chrysta well more than Chrysta ever saves Sofia. For being on the side of good, Chrysta is not very willing or able to care for Sofia, emotionally OR physically, and that's something that I just ... I can't stand. If they were going for mentor foils? They failed. Epically.

Chrysta as a character is cool. I just can't stand her as someone who is supposed to look out for Sofia because she doesn't. Like, the whole episode they're in Wei Ling? Chrysta is basically gaslighting Sofia about not asking for help until Sofia tells her off! UGH! I just ... I'm sorry! This is a sore spot for me. You stepped right into one of my pet peeves in writing for children.

It all boils down to that I just don't like what message it enforces. What the writers set up with Cedric is that he's crotchety but there is good in him, and when push comes to shove, he's going to stand up and protect the people he loves. He deeply cares about Sofia. He really wants to be good more than bad. He's just a little turned around about how to get the respect he deserves as human being. Sofia is helping him get there through her child-like hope and, really, just being around him. Truly, he's kind of like Carl from Up. He just needs another human being to bring life back into his life. Cedric likes mentoring Sofia, and there's a well established distance and boundary between them. In many ways, Cedric is doing a lot of his own development behind the scenes, Sofia is just there accompanying him on the journey. (Honestly, the Carl and Russell metaphor isn't a bad one for the two of them.)

With the Protectors, by contrast? From the moment Sofia appears, that boundary just isn't there. They immediately are willing to take her on as a near adult trainee. They put her with a trainer who clearly expresses contempt for her IN FRONT of them. This trainer is actively prejudiced against Sofia as a person, and this trainer treats Sofia, not as a child, but as a peer. In many ways, Sofia acts as an ACTIVE, not passive, catalyst for Chrysta's development.

And, I'm just NOT down for that. I'm not about it. It's not in my spirit.

There is a big difference between using life experiences and wisdom to help someone process what they're living through - what Cedric does for the class with "The Sorcerer's Secret" song - and what Sofia ends up helping Chrysta to do in getting her Fairy Wand. Big Difference. HUGE.

So, again, Squish and I will be having LONG chats about why it's important to evaluate these kinds of relationships. Healthy relationships and boundaries with adults. Because, the Protectors? That's NOT it.

There should be a firm line with all the adults involved in Sofia's life telling her "NOPE. Sorry. No more. Not because of anything you did, but because this never should have happened in the first place. This is not your circus. Not your monkey. Not your problem. You are done in the cupcake war. The end."

Sorry if this was rambly and disjointed. But, darn. This hit in a place for me. I do not like this arc. I like it less each time I watch it.

If Cedric hadn't saved her in 'In Cedric We Trust', Sofia would have been seriously hurt or worse by Prisma! That's proof that she has no business being a Protector at her age, let alone the ONLY Protector of the EverRealm!! What if such a thing were to happen again post-series- bested by an enemy or even just getting injured by pure accident, with nobody around to help (well, I mean, normally she'd usually have Minimus or Skye with her, but still)??

That's why I totally think Cedric should have been her magical bodyguard, like I discussed in this post.

@tookishcombeferre @bettathanyou @fantadym

[tackrusso]

show tempe gang crossover with the morris islanders would actually have been the best episode of bones ever. btw

[normalcannibalism]

i feel weird and self conscious about my art again. sigh

the entire post ended up in thw tags ohb my god

[the-golden-ghost]

Me: I'm so stuck and stagnated and trapped in this miserable slog I wish something would Happen so that my life would change for the better but alas I have no will to push myself forward

Me: *gets laid off*

[sysig]

Horti-cultural differences (Patreon)

[xitsensunmoon]

My first ever comic con! And first cosplay too. Of course it's gonna be my boy :] Ramblings about the process are under the cut(Let me know if?? You would want me to elaborate with process images for any of the steps?)

The costume took me forever to make, as I've never done any machine sewing, sculpting, fabric dying or spray painting before but learning all of these was so fucking fun!! I never realised just how many different skills go into making a cosplay but it was so worth it!!!

Almost all of the clothes(except the hat) were purchased first as bases, but all of the detailing was added by me. All of the fabric used was originally just scraps that I was given for free so I needed to learn how to dye and dye all of the stars, they were originally white.

The sewing machine was its own beast that brought me tons of frustration from the lack of skill and knowledge (it was devastating to find out that 95% of fuck ups were my fault and not the machine's lmao). But as a result, a hat sewn from scratch, all of the fur trims, embroidery on the corset, stars and the collar(which is very hard to see on the pictures unfortunately) was all added manually. The stars and the stripes(on the back of the cape) were attached using heat-and-bond adhesive (I WISH I knew about such thing just when I started working on this. It would save me so much time and nerves.)

Then I found out about polymorph(mouldable plastic) and it has become the next thing I wanted to learn, to sculpt the claws and the fangs(yes, they're handmade jfksjs). The claws I then primed and painted in trillion coats because I wasn't satisfied with the colour of the spray paint. The fangs I moulded to my own teeth and then stained with tea to match the colour of my teeth :)c

As for makeup, I used Mehron Paradise water activated paints. At first I wanted to try to save money and bought myself Snazaroo instead, which unfortunately turned out to be a waste. Snazaroo didn't hold on my face for longer than 2 hours, cracking and peeling awfully. Mehron on the other hand survived 11 hours of me smiling, talking, emoting and such and didn't even crease at the smile lines(I'm actually shocked about that). It obviously works like any other makeup which means your skin texture and wrinkles won't go anywhere but Mehron's elasticity pleasantly surprised me. It did obviously smear from sweat and saliva(if you're eating and licking your lips) but if you don't touch the skin it just dries again, self setting. But if it's dry it's fully smear-proof. Highly recommend!

And last but not least, I've decided against painting my hands as it was very risky that I will stain everything I touch at the smallest hint of sweat. So instead I got myself gloves-tights(? Not sure how they're called but it's made from the same fabric as tights) and painted them with normal acrylic paint(did you know you could dye fabric with acrylic paint? I personally didn't), then heat set with an iron and voilà, they're reusable, my hands are not stained after an exhausting day and I don't stain everything I touch. It worked wonderfully which honestly was a surprise as I was really sceptical that acrylic paint will somehow stay in place.

I think this whole thing took me minimum of 6 months with big-big breaks for my school and life in general. But I'm really proud! This project taught me so many new skills and I couldn't have been happier about learning new knowledge, even if it sucked to fail in the meantime.

Everyone at the con was really nice and gave me a large confidence boost even tho it was my first time and I had no idea what I was doing. Taking photos with other people was really awkward/new for me as I hate cameras so I really had no idea how to pose/behave in front of one. But that's okay I think. This whole experience definitely made me want to do this again, so I think that will come with experience. Thank you for reading this far, hope you enjoyed this little summary :)

[postracehair]

altitude

max verstappen x reader | 1.5k

you hate flying. but it's a necessity if you want to see max during the f1 season. when you finally fly home together during a break, will you let him help calm you down?

cw: r hates flying, anxiety, kissing, like, lots of kissing, worried max, allusions to more than kissing, fluff, george/carmen cameo

a/n: she's so me! i hate flying! but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do! wrote this way back after brazil, but have it now as a race week gift.

--

Everything changes very quickly after you meet Max Verstappen.

You are pulled into a world of action and luxury all because he wants you there. And you go willingly because you want to be with him, too. How could you not? The world famous champion is a kind, funny, and sweet man who loves his cats, his friends, and, as is becoming clear, you.

Much of the start of your relationship is scheduling. A day here and there between races, dinners and walks and movies at his place or yours. You spend a lot of time in airports when you can, working on the go and white knuckling your way through flight after flight. It's worth it to see him on the other side.

Somehow, you've never actually travelled together.

Until now.

The race weekend ends the best way possible -- the top step of the podium. A night of celebrations fades into an early morning flight on a private jet and this time, you're coming with. Because Max has three weeks off. He'll have to work, of course, spending time in Milton Keynes before the final stretch of the season, but for the most part you're going to have him all to yourself.

It does not occur to you until you're in the car on the way to the tarmac that Max has no idea how much you hate flying. You're in one of those big Sprinter vans, head on Max's shoulder as he scrolls through his phone. George and Carmen sit on the other side, the former's head tipped back as he dozes. Everyone is quiet and you're working a bit hard to keep yourself calm.

"What is it?" Max whispers. He puts his phone down and you look over at him. His hair is a mess, you can see that much even in the low light of the van. You reach out and run a hand through it.

"What?" you whisper back.

He shakes his head a little and wraps his fingers around your wrist. "You were all loose and then you got tense."

The frequent distance between you and the busy nature of your schedules demands that communication be top of mind. You do not lie to each other about your feelings, and you do not hide things. Even things like this.

"I don't really like flying," you say, softly. "I've never told you because we've never flown together. It just makes me kind of anxious. I've never been able to shake it."

His brows furrow. "Really?"

"I'll be fine," you assure him. "Just, maybe hold my hand during takeoff and landing. And if there is any turbulence."

"But -- I don't understand. Are you afraid?"

You know that there is really no way to make him understand but also that he won't stop trying to. Max gets afraid, he gets nervous. He's only human. But he combats it with sheer willpower, focus, and skill.

"I fly this way all the time," he says, urgent this time. "It's totally safe."

"That's not -- Max, I just get nervous. It's not really to do with safety. I just don't really enjoy it."

"Oi," George says, rousing. "What are you two yapping about?"

"Go back to snoring, George," Max says, not taking his eyes off you.

"Do I really snore?" you hear him ask in a hushed tone. Carmen shushes him.

"Pulling up to the plane now, folks," the driver calls back.

"Seriously," Max says, sounding a little desperate. "It'll be alright."

"I know. I fly all the time, Max." His frown deepens.

"To come see me," he reminds you. "If I knew you didn't like it, I would have --"

"What?" you interrupt. "Invented teleportation? It's okay, Max. Knowing it's to see you makes the whole thing easier, honestly."

This does not satisfy him. You can tell. It's a problem he can't solve -- his least favorite kind. There is no simulation to run for this, no meeting he can talk through, no track he can circle a thousand times.

The van door opens and you're all beckoned out onto the tarmac. You follow George and Carmen with your bag and Max is at your heels, his duffle slung over one shoulder and his other hand on the small of your back. Normally, he's not this touchy, but he seems reluctant to let your conversation in the van go.

"Max--"

"I'm thinking, liefje."

You roll your eyes. "About how to invent teleportation?"

"Something like that," he grumbles.

The jet is narrow, an aisle on one side and four rows of seats on the other. Four sets of two, a table between them. Carmen and George settle into one nook and you toss your bags into another. You slide into the window seat and Max sits heavily in the one next to you, still frowning. You let him, instead looking around to absorb the new experience.

It's much nicer than a regular plane, that's for sure. There is a cooler stocked with drinks and a cabinet full of what seems to be snacks. You can stretch your legs to rest your feet on the seat across from you. It's so early you figure all of you will just sleep, though Max's mood seems at odds with that plan.

The pilot introduces herself and gives a quick rundown of the route and airtime. You all nod and smile and then the doors close and the lights dim.

Max's hand finds yours immediately. You sit up a little and look over at him. He looks even more frazzled than he did at the hotel, when you both rolled out of bed and into comfy clothes. Soft pants and a hoodie that make him look boyish, younger than he is. But here, his cheeks are a little flushed and his jaw is set like he's about to get in his race car.

"What do you do normally?" he asks, softly. You can hear George's soft snores already. "When I'm not there."

"Max," you sigh.

"Tell me, please?"

The seat shifts under you as it heads for the runway. You close your eyes and take a deep breath.

"Well, I don't hold some random guy's hand," you tease. He squeezes your palm and huffs. 

"He could be so lucky."

The plane comes to a stop and you know what happens next. Your mind remains preoccupied with Max -- a good thing, right now -- but your body tenses and you squeeze your eyes shut tighter as the engines kick up and you pick up speed.

Max says your name but you don't budge. "Liefje," he whispers, much closer than before. You can feel his breath on your cheek as he gently holds your chin with two fingers and turns your face towards him.

And then he's kissing you. A closed mouth press of his lips to yours, firm but still. At least until you sigh into it, releasing your death grip on the arm rest to reach for him blindly, your tangled fingers between you. The kiss deepens, his nose sliding against yours as you part your lips and the chaste press becomes more. Max's tongue licks into your mouth leisurely, like he has all the time in the world to explore you. 

You kiss and kiss and kiss, so long that a voice in your head wonders if maybe you can do this for the whole flight, please? Max tugs your legs across his until you're practically in his lap, spread across the two seats like they're one.

"We're reached cruising altitude," the speakers crackle. "Feel free to move about, but please be mindful."

Max pulls away, a strand of spit glistening between you until he wipes it away with a smirk. His hair is even messier than before and his cheeks are pink. Lips swollen, eyes glassy -- you must look the same. Your heart is racing and you laugh, breathless.

"Well," Max says, then swallows. His voice is raspy, hoarse with desire. "Guess you have to fly with me from now on."

"Max." You pitch forward and settle where his neck and shoulder meet and inhale. His arms wrap around you and he holds you close. You can hear his heart racing just as fast as yours.

"Yeah, yeah," he grumbles. "I know."

"I can do it," you remind him. "I do it all the time. I just don't like it, that's all."

You feel the press of his lips on your hair.

"I just don't like that I can't fix it," he says. "I can't get inside your head and make you know it's alright."

"No, you can't," you sigh. The plane jerks just a little -- a swoop of your stomach that has you gasping. Max's hold on you tightens and he says your name.

"How do you do this alone?" he rasps, mouth next to your ear as he rubs your back.

"I close my eyes," you say, taking deep breaths. "And I imagine you with me."

He curses softly. "We should get a jet by ourselves next time," he mutters. "Then I can really distract you."

That gets you to laugh, though you can't say you hate the idea. It makes you feel warm, makes you press your thighs together.

"Next time," you echo. "But for now..."

Max cups your jaw and ghosts his nose over yours. "For now..."

He brings your lips together.

[jezabelle9299]

You're It for me S.R x FEM! reader

Overture- Your walking through a used bookstore when you spot an old magazine with your boyfriends face on the cover-- not for his academic ability

CWs- Comparison to Lila Archer, feeling replaceable, this is diet angst- I don't have the guts or skill for the truly heart wrenching, kissing

A/N- I was kind of picturing an early season 2 Spencer? Like they've been dating for a while, but like-- not more than maybe 2 years, so they're still a little bit nervous. Also this is the first of many things I'm doing this December so hopefully everything goes well and if you want to read any of the other things I'm doing you could do so HERE

Right in your favorite used bookstore, on top of some other old magazines, there it was. It caught your eye at first because of the vibrant photo— but when you stopped to look you saw a beautiful young actress rubbing her face onto your wonderful boyfriend's hand. You felt sick, but you pushed through it to buy the stupid thing so you could read it. 

You barely made it through the checkout line, pale as a ghost and wishing you’d never walked in there. Because why didn’t he tell you? The publishing date was only months before you started dating and he hated touch. Was this a long relationship? An intimate moment no one else was supposed to see?

By the time you got to your car you’d ripped the plastic covering off the magazine opening up the article about Lila Archer. You hadn’t really heard of her before, but she was gorgeous. The more you read about the ‘secret relationship’ between her and Spencer the more upset you got— until in one of the final sentences it said one of their reporters found them in a pool—fully clothed—making out. Spencer. Your germaphobic boyfriend who was nervous about so much as touching you in passing for your first 3 dates jumped into a pool to make out with someone he couldn’t have known for that long.

You sat on the couch in your apartment after a silent ride home. Spencer was supposed to meet you to spend some time together, he’d be landing any minute– but it was all you could do not to cry. It was before you were dating but you just felt– Insecure? Replaceable? You weren’t quite sure, but comparison stole your joy and left you with nothing but a sour mood and a boyfriend on his way to see you– one who was qualified to notice that you were upset nearly immediately upon seeing you. 

“Hey honey— I’m so glad I’m finally home. I’ve missed you so much.” He walked through the door, you’d told him so many times that he could come in without knocking– he even had his own key– and he moved straight to you. He leaned in to kiss you, but your lips were unrelenting, not soft like they usually were. You weren’t in the mood for romance right now and he wanted to figure out why. 

Not that you always had to be in the mood for physical touch, but usually when he got home from longer cases you were on him from the moment he walked through the door. He loved that— he missed that right now. 

“Is something wrong? Are you ok?”

“Yeah Spence, I’m fine.” You plastered on your best fake smile to no avail, only making Spencer more concerned in your efforts. 

“Did something happen while I was gone?”

“Nothing happened.” 

“I know you’re not telling me something. I can’t help if I don’t know what’s going on.” Despite his words, his tone wasn’t accusatory at all. Only concerned. 

“I don’t need help— I just saw something that kind of… freaked me out is all.” You were really trying to downplay the effect that stupid magazine cover had on you.

“Did I leave one of my case files laying around? Oh honey I’m so sorry— I thought I picked them all up before I left.”He was wracked with guilt over something that didn’t even happen. 

“No Spencer it wasn’t that. It was a magazine? You were on the cover.” You thought he knew what you were talking about. I mean he’s been in a few science magazines for his academic ability, but nothing else like this. At least you certainly hoped not. 

“What magazine? From this month?” 

“No— it was a few months before we started dating. It was you and Lila Archer? I know it was before we started dating; and I know I have no right to be upset by it but it just— it just kind of took me by surprise, you know?”

“Oh. I forgot about that.” 

“You forgot about it? It said you were found fully clothed in her pool, and you just forgot?” You weren’t accusatory, just hurt—your voice was breaking by the end and you were still trying to look up at him. 

“It really wasn’t like that, I only knew her for a week— we were in LA because she was being stalked, I was supposed to be guarding her and she pulled me into the pool.” with just that one sentence he made it infinitely worse. He knew her for a week, and he wasn’t worried about her germs? What made her so different?

“You only knew her for a week?”

“Well–yes?” It was clear by the way he looked at you that he thought that would be a comforting notion. It was anything but. 

“On our first date you didn’t even want to touch me. You didn’t kiss me until we’d been dating for almost 2 weeks. I was perfectly fine with those things because I know you don’t really like touch but I need you to be honest with me about something. Do you just not like me as much? Because if you don’t that’s– well that’s ok. I mean I don’t want to be worried that you’re going to get a case in LA and find someone better.”

“Honey let me be perfectly clear– there is no one better. I love you more than anything or anyone on this Earth.” Spencer’s reassurance just wasn’t comforting you like it usually did. 

“Then–why? I mean do you just not think about me physically in that way?”

“I think the way I feel about you physically could easily be described as clingy and/or obsessed. You know this, sweetheart.” He held tightly onto your hands- rubbing the back of hand with his thumb

“Well now sure, but I honestly kind of thought you just weren’t attracted to me when we first started going out.”

“I was– and am for the record– extremely attracted to you. Some of my hesitance towards touching you was germ-based, but honestly I was just so ridiculously, extremely nervous around you that I was afraid to touch you and mess everything up.”

“Oh.” 

“Yeah, honey in case you hadn’t noticed you’re kind of it for me.” That feeling in the pit of your stomach finally subsided— giving way to the same feeling of love you always feel when Spencer wraps you in his arms. 

[boowritess]

notsobaddasssoldier!reader who is kinda a cunt

reader who just doesn't give a shit about the 141 rank or title.

"you think just cause your captain of some lil task force i'm gonna bend over backwards for you? be serious."

"cool you're lieutenant...and.... anything else interesting? like how you think halloween is 24/7, or...?"

"oh so it's a big accomplishment you're sergeant at your big age? tell someone who cares."

you're just so... eh about their ranks. but they get some power trip when you call them said rank. makes them feel some sort of way that depsite your snark, you still call them by rank. showing the clear difference of inferiority and superiority between you and them.

till you notice and shut that shet down.

"your so fucking stupid. it's like if i met The Pope. I'm gonna call him Pope because he's The Pope. I still don't give a shit though."

"or like meeting a Doctor and calling them Doctor. I don't give a fuck that the persons a Doctor. I'll still call em it."

"better yet. hate the king. hate the queen. but i still call them the queen and king. because their dumbassary is just linked to their 'ranks'. if you keep annoying me the same is gonna go for you."

you have so much sass and snark that it becomes a truly humbling experience. and it's like - damn. they could put you over their knee and really put you in your place but reader takes things from 0-100 real fucking quick.

"you wanna what you fucking freak?"

"excuse me-?"

"you're so fucking dumb. get a braincell dumb bitch. do it and fucking find out what happens."

"shot me in the head and watch my corpse not give a fuck because I don't."

and when the guys get a lil too fucking serious about putting reader in their place. reader suddenly has a gun pointed at their face. you see what I mean by taking things to 0-100 real quick?

"dummy. really tryna fuck with me when we're surrounded by guns? fuck outta here with that bullshit."

"matter fact I'd just kill myself-"

"NO!" *141*

it's obvious you may be young and perhaps a little too mouthy for your own good but it's clear you're not going to be pushed around.

but it's obvious you ain't here for the 'greater good' and just doing the work to get the paycheck. while the guys find your snark to be really fucking annoying.

it turns out that you definitely have some perks.

you may not be able to hold yourself very long in battle, just a very basic solider with basic skill sets- your mouth and attitude can really work wonders on people.

in particular, the egotistical rookie who things they're all that. taking their sweet time with basic tasks, belittling other recruits who can do the bare minimum. just in general, an asshole. that's when you step in.

"you ain't shit bitch cause at the end of the fucking day turdface, you ain't bullet proof. i can shoot you right now, and all your running and yapping will cease to exist. your corspe will rot. people will stop knowing you as the loudmouth rookie, and you will just become nothing. infact. you are nothing."

*the recruit opens their mouth. you interrupt.*

"Nothing."

*recruit tries again.*

"Nothing."

it's an endless cycle that ceases when your hardened glare doesn't stop and you pick up a rock intending to throw it at the recruit. the blank, dead, serious look in your eyes showing you are more than fucking serious.

what really works wonders though, is they way you aren't worried about putting a superior in their place. the other 141 have basically been beaten in and to not question anything. they have been made to believe they are weapons more than human.

that gets shut down real quick.

you all have just come back from mission, that was grueling. a couple of you were injured. everyone looked worse for wear. dirts, scratches, blood. someone no longer had their vest. a few lost weapons. barely had any inventory. needing food, sleep, and then a long shower shower.

but instead waiting for the task force, was a superior officer, holding the next mission file. a mission they were supposed to be getting ready for and practically leave as soon as they got back.

before price could grab for it, you intercept. grabbing the mission file and throwing it at the superior officers face.

"you giant fucking anal peice of dried solid dog shit. we're not fucking doing that. we just got back from hiding in a fucking forest for three weeks with enemy surrounding us to get intel from a camp- THAT WASN'T FUCKING THERE. so you better turn and take those pretty polished shoes to another task force."

"what is your name, soldier?" *superior officer growls.*

"Dolly Parton. Now Dolly has just worked longer than a nine to five and Dolly ain't got the patience for dealing with a man like you. i got two bullets left. one for you and one for me. and if you think i won't do it- well we can put it to the test now-"

perhaps it was the utter dead look in your eyes, or the gentle yet seething venom in your tone. the superior officer simply growls and turns on their feet, leaving the task force.

it's funny cause you do get the respect, you are barely a good soldier but dang you can get shit done when need be. so price doesn't transfer you. he still keeps you close.

ghost is the one who loves the feral little shit you are. gaz and you talk mad shit about everyone on base. soap just absolutely adores you, you're the little sibling he's always wanted.

a/n: inspired by the feral nature of gen z.

[tinfoil-jones]

Jerk Ford AU: About

[Art by: @tearosepedall]

[Jerk Ford Not a jerk to his brother and only his brother The most hated Ford in the Multiverse]

[Doesn't need as much protecting Teen Jerk Ford: F#ck off Teen Stan: Ford! Don't do that!]

[Stan is a well liked guy Stan never ended up homeless, because Ford believed him]

Ford was the worst type of student because he's really good at everything that he does, just like any other version of himself. Like, the teachers were mad he was their best (academically speaking) student.

They'd prefer it if he was a delinquent who never did his homework and showed up late to class. But no, he not only did all of his assignments, but he also did extra credit that he didn't need, and showed up early to everything. Just like all of the other Fords.

He was the Chess, Spelling Bee, and Debate Team champion all four years he was in high school. He could have skipped several grades and only didn't because ya know, twin. And this continued while he was in college and got his 12 PHDs.

Stanley was his only supporter in all of that because everyone wanted him to fail. Some people (like their parents) even tried to pressure Stan into also hating his brother but one of the Universal Constants is that you can't make Stan hate his brother. People didn’t even bring up the fact that Stanley wasn’t the genius twin, people called him the ‘good twin’ because he wasn’t a jerk.

Stanley is just a regular guy in this AU. He was never a criminal or con artist. He went to Backupsmore University with Stanford and Fiddleford (Fiddleford would sometimes use Stan to pass messages along to Ford, because he did not want to talk to Ford if he didn't have to). He's a Chemistry Teacher who also helps out with Theatre.

[Bill: You tricked me!!! Jerk Ford: Skill Issue]

[Jerk Ford, to all other AU Fords: Wait! You all actually fell for that triangles flattery?! LOL]

He knew Bill Cipher was just f***ing with him with all of that talk of "I'm a muse" and "You're more special than everybody" (he already knew that he doesn't need a triangle to validate that). Ford just wanted to flip the script on him in the end in the most elaborate 1980s version of Jackass you've ever seen.

All of the other Fords hate him so much not just because he's a jerk (that's the majority of the reason though), but because of how weirdly competent and self-actualized he is comparatively speaking.

He didn't fall for Bill tricks. He's so sure of himself that he doesn't have the same hero (or villain, depending on the AU) complex. He doesn't want to take over the universe, or be the savior of it, or even be the one who kills Bill Cipher. He's just a jerk to everybody (except Stan) because he likes being a jerk.

Jerk Ford is one of the few Fords who maxed out his Charisma. He just uses that charisma to make people hate him instead of like him

Because charisma isn't just 'likability', it's your Presence and Force of Personality. His presence is so strong all he has to do is walk into a room, and you know he's an a**hole.

If you were to sum up what Jerk Ford is like around other Fords, it's like this:

"Every Stanford Pines in the multiverse reviles and despises that man."

Jerk Ford: You all want to be me so bad.

"NO WE DON'T YOU A**HOLE"

[Mabel: He's not actually THAT big of a jerk right?" Dipper: *wants to strangle him* Jerk Ford: Stanley who are these twerps?]

[Stan: Oh! They are family poindexter, Shermies grandkids! Jerk Ford: I see *doesn't care*]

If I were to give Jerk Ford a unique design to set him apart from Fords of other AUs, his turtleneck and muddied boots are swapped with these:

The hoodie is the usual red colour, the font is probably the same gold colour as his zodiac symbol. The puffed croc boots are also probably the same colour as canon Fords.

He doesn't have any embarrassing tattoos because the tattoo artists of Gravity Falls would never service Ford. Because he's not just banned from every establishment in Gravity Falls, but if he enters any business you are legally allowed to and encouraged to shoot him.

In fact Bill gave up possessing Ford to ruin his reputation with the townsfolk early on because nothing he did was worse than anything Ford did by himself.

You know how Ford drew himself coming out of the portal with aura in Journal Three?

Most of the other Fords try to look cool, and you just have this dude over here who doesn't give a s*** because he already believed his own hype. He doesn't feel the need to be ✨Extra✨ unless if he's being mean or generally unpleasant to somebody.

[Previous]

[obae-me]

I have been asked to expand on the MC with trauma scenarios, and you know what, I need the comfort, so let's do it! (No these are not based on myself, I don't know what you're talking about....)

Also I've seen a ton of people's responses to the last one and just know that I am spiritually patting you all on the head and wrapping a soft blanket around your shoulders.

--

MC with ~Trauma~ PT 2!

Imagine an MC who has been mocked, berated, or criticized for their joys and hobbies. They don't do those things anymore or go to great lengths to hide them.

They never share their writing or their art with anyone. They are surrounded by demons and angels much more talented than them. The thing that they felt they were moderately talented in is below average compared to these beings... Everything they create is hidden in secret digital folders or kept in notebooks under their mattress or tucked in secret spots on their bookshelves.

They never sing or dance or play their instruments. They almost avoid the music room altogether. It's almost too painful for them to think about. If they attend a dance they just stand off to the sides... They don't participate in karaoke. They don't hum to their favorite songs.

They hardly cook, or garden, or read, or edit, or color, or knit, or crochet, or embroider, or anything else that they might enjoy.

Imagine some of the nosier brothers not realizing the pain that hides behind their passions and either playfully spying on them or digging up their secrets. Their hearts are fully destroyed when their human breaks down in tears. Now, every single day, every character encourages them to do what they love and giving them private time and space to do it in a place where they feel safe. They all hope that maybe one day MC will feel comfortable enough to share what they love with them but they will never pry it out of them, and all the while giving them the support they need behind the curtain.

Imagine Satan, Levi, and Mammon grouping together and creating a PowerPoint presentation. With Satan's organizing skills, Levi's technological know-how, and Mammon's morally grey skills of espionage, they gather all the characters together and teach a class on what to do and not to do around MC. Things like having a clear voice in text messages to keep them from having anxiety. Or not slamming doors, not entering their room without knocking, reminding them to drink water, knowing when to give them time to breathe etc. Everyone takes it seriously (some might say too seriously), including Belphie who didn't even sleep for a second during the whole thing.

What about an MC who takes on too much and never says anything about it? At first, Lucifer, Barbatos, and to a lesser degree Diavolo, are pleased that they've found a human with a strong work ethic and a love for responsibility. Little do they know that while part of that might be true, they are doing it because they are non-confrontational, a people pleaser, or try to prove their worth through success (or all of the above). They burn themselves out and forgo their other needs to conserve all their energy for the work that's been given to them, and it's not until it becomes a serious health issue that anyone really notices. They all take a blow when they come to know how much they had been pushing a human beyond their capabilities. So they tell MC to do less, not expecting the human to try and convince them that it wasn't an issue, maybe even apologizing for failing. Now they all have to keep an eye on MC and make sure they don't take things too far, and make sure that MC knows that their worth isn't tied to how much gets done in a day and they don't think of them any less for taking breaks or time for themselves. And maybe they all learn to take care of themselves a little more for it too. Especially one work-a-holic demon known as Pride.

How about an MC that hates the way they look? No matter what that might be. Body size, shape, height, skin-tone, skin-color, scars, blemishes, freckles, etc. What if it was drilled into their head since they were a child that they were not beautiful? What if they can't look into the mirror or take any photos of themselves without feeling sick? How about being around a demon like Asmo? Maybe resenting him, maybe avoiding him, maybe wishing they were like him. It probably would hurt Asmo to see someone hating themselves and their body so intently. Maybe it's because it reminds him of himself. Maybe they both have to sit down and rethink what beauty really means? It's a long process for both of them.

All of them work with the human with their image and not in a shallow way like trying to deny the things they have and who they are. They find ways around pictures, because there are more ways to keep memories rather than selfies and commemorative photos.

Or what if:

Beel: *In MC's room.* Alright, we'll just do some basic stretches.

MC: Okay, just tell me what to do.

Beel: Well, if you want, you can put on some music to make it more relaxing.

MC: Music? *Looks a little nervous.* If you want...

*MC then turns some music on their phone on the lowest setting and sets it on their bed.*

Beel: Um...you can turn it up more than that if you want.

MC: Louder? Really?

Beel: Don't you think it's a little quiet?

MC: Oh...um...okay... *turns it up by one more click.* Is- Is that okay? I can turn it down again.

Beel: *Opens his mouth, confused for a moment before shutting it again. In the quickest second, he's in his demon form.* Who do I need to find?

MC: B-Beel?!

[count-on-mi]

Twice Interactive Story Part 7 Official Cheater Now (Momo, Feat. Jihyo)

You standing in front of Jihyo's home, thinking how you could explain to Jihyo what happened today. You don't want to lie to her, but telling Jihyo that you have sexual relationships with women other than your girlfriend is also inappropriate.

You are hesitating to press the doorbell, and you finally give up and leave. When you turn around, you just see Jihyo coming out from the lift, she is still recovering from the jogging, her tits shaking following her breathe.

 "Oh hi Jihyo, looks like you had a good run. I was wanted to talk to you."

 'OH, you wanna talk about your colleague? You don't need to explain to me, it's fine. Everyone has their own private life.' Jihyo said.

 "Yeah, but I feel like I should explain the situation and I want to ask for advice. I don't really have many others to go to so I wanted to ask you."

 'Ok then, then come in.' Jihyo invites you to come in her house.

 'Still got some time before my husband back from work, need some drink?' Jihyo open the fridge while you are waiting her on the sofa.

 'Just water is ok, thanks Jihyo.'

 'So, what do you want to talk, I'm ready, Y/N.'

 "Sana, my coworker has been pushing herself on me a lot. We had sex a few times but now she's being way too much. How do I get her to stop. We had that ridiculous situation earlier, and I just don't want to deal with that any longer. Jihyo she was masturbating in the streets moaning my name when I tried to drop her off at her house. She wouldn't go in and to make it worse it was locked and she didn’t have the key. Jihyo I really need any advice."

 'Oh, so she is addicted to sex, so she just can stop having sex? Or anything that you have done that leads to she is having some misunderstanding on your relationship?'

 'Most importantly, what are you considering this relationship? Just curious about that, no offense.'

 "She just keeps coming back Jihyo. She is addicted or something like that. Our relationship? Friends with benefits, or at least it was but I'm reconsidering now."

 'I don't know, maybe she is developing more feelings on you, and it just becomes worsen when you two have sex.' Jihyo said.

 'Why don't you two talk, make a clear definition of your relationship, so you can be more comfortable. Although I really hate you have a fwb besides your girlfriend, you should handle it properly, that girl is poor too.'

 "I appreciate the help Jihyo. Thanks." I start to leave her apartment.

 'Just find me if you need other advice, and treat your girlfriend better!' Jihyo sends you out.

 And you hear the sound of someone knocking on the door, it should be Jihyo's husband.

 "Looks like your husband is here." I say as I leave.

 Jihyo opens the door for you, and you are shocked by what you are seeing.

 'Hey honey, welcome back.'

 The husband of Jihyo is Daniel?

 'Hey Babe, this is the neighbor I talked last time, Y/N.'

 'And Y/N, this is my husband, Daniel, Daniel Kang.'

 "Nice to meet you. Sorry I can't stick around I have to go" I say as I head to my apartment to change.

 You try to walk past Daniel to leave the flat, preventing further embarrassment, but Daniel stops you.

 'Why would you be in my house, you bastard, stay away from my wife.' Daniel looks angry and try to slab your face.

 I'll react quickly and grab his hand before he can hit me. "Woah, I was just getting some advice. Cool your jets."

 Jihyo steps inside you and Daniel, trying to cool down both of you. 'Y/N, leave now, I will handle this.' And she pushed you to leave the flat before closing the door.

 You back home and change your clothes, ready to find Momo in the gym. When you walk past Jihyo's flat again, you can hear nothing.

 I'll go to the gym without thinking about his actions too much.

 You arrive at the gym, Momo is dancing again at the mirror room. You just watch her dance from outside, admiring her superb dancing skill.

 Momo finally notice you after the dance session, she rush out to hug you tightly.

 'I miss you so much darling, how is it today?'

 I kiss Momo's forehead "I had a really rough day. What about you?"

 Momo kiss your cheek, 'I have a good bay, because you are here with me. Need some massage to relieve your stress?'

 "Yeah, I could really use one right now."

 Momo brings you back to her room and gives you a massage. Seeing you are really stressed today, Momo doesn't tease you, she directly applies oil to her breast and starts giving you the body massage.

 "Thanks Momo, I really needed this." I say as I feel her boobs start to massage my body.

 Momo slowly uses her hand to rub your inner thigh, then grab your shaft from behind and starts stroking. The pleasure makes you kneel like a dog, Momo increases both the pace and the intensity, and pulls your shaft to behind. You soon arrive at the peak, you cum in her hand while moaning her name.

 After my climax I switch our positions and start to finger Momo, "let me make your day even better, Momo."

 After you reach your orgasm, Momo is still stroking you, hope you can enjoy the aftertaste of the orgasm. You flip her over and start fingering her, hope to satisfy her too.

 You two are now in a 69 position, licking each other, hoping they can reach orgasm.

 I grab onto Momo's ass so I can drive my tongue deeper into her pussy. Occasionally I'll give her a light spanking.

 You drive your tongue deeper into Momo's pussy, while you spank your ass. The pleasure makes Momo sits harder, her thighs lock your head, forcing you to focus on licking her clit. You soon choked as you can't breathe properly.

 Your dick becomes harder due to the excitement, Momo feels it starts to pulse, push her head to the deepest, and you cum once you arrive at her deep throat, she cums all over your face simultaneously.

 "Fuck, that was nice Momo. Did you enjoy that as much as I did?"

 Momo is keep sucking your dick to clean you, she just replies with a thumbs up, showing that she enjoys your work too.

 You just rest on bed and let Momo do the jobs, soon you fell asleep as you are too tired today. Momo sees you are sleeping, then she gives your tip one more kiss, getting off all her clothes, and jump in the bed to sleep with you.

 Once you wake up is midnight already, you see Momo smiling while resting her head on your chest.

 "Morning, beautiful" I say as I start to wake up. "Oh, it's night, I'm sorry for falling asleep Momo. It was a long day."

 'Always thinking about naughty things don't you, horny boy.' Momo smirks while start stroking your dick.

 Momo rubs her eye and hugs you tighter. 'Never mind baby, but how are you going to compensate me for waking me up?' You kiss her forehead and you two start to have some conversation.

 'Are you going to leave now?' Momo suddenly asks when you are playing her tits.

 "Do you want me to leave? I guess it is pretty late. What if we went to your house. Had some more fun?"

 'What about we go to your place? I want to feel you better.' Momo whispers in your ear. 'But we should start round 1 here first.' Momo then climbs on you and ready to ride you.

 I give Momo a playful smack on the ass, "That’s sounds great Momo."

 Momo aligns her pussy with your dick, then starts riding you fiercely. She holds both of your hands on top of your head, and starts kissing your neck, making some hickeys.

 It feels so itchy, and you start moving your body. Momo slowly goes down to your chest, playing with your nipple. You are really turned on, start thrusting your hips upward, hope to get more pleasure.

 Soon you feel you are going to cum, it seems her workout has included her walls either, it keeps massaging you and you cannot hold too long.

 'Momo stop, I'm going to cum.' You ask Momo to stop, but she just ignores you, looking at you with an innocent face and riding faster.

 'Shit Momo, I am cumming, I am cumming' Your seed fills her pussy and she reaches the orgasm at the same time.

 I pull Momo into a kiss "Fuck you're amazing Momo." I grab her hips and have her grind on my cock.

 Momo just grinding on your cock, hoping to milk you. You are sensitive from orgasm, the pleasure that comes from Momo's wall makes you shiver. Momo just smirks can kiss you again.

 'So now, I am better or Nayeon is better? I bet she could not make you cum that fast.' Momo asks while she is still milking you.

 You feel like if you give the wrong answer, she would stop the pleasure immediately.

 "You're so good Momo, you're so good" I moan. "You're better."

 Momo was happy with your answer, she kiss you again and her walls milk you tighter. The sensation makes you moan again, and she just can't stop to smirk.

 'Really like my pussy don't you, how about going to your home for another round?’ Momo asks while caressing your ball.

 "Let's go then"

 'Let's go then.' You spank her ass and tell her to get changed.

 You and Momo help each other to wear the clothes while teasing each other. You hold Momo's hand when you are going to the carpark. Momo looks really happy that you two can act like a couple outside of the gym.

 However, Momo soon wears a scowl on her face when she gets in the car. You are wondering why she changes so sudden.

 'Y/N, did you lie to me that you are busy at work? I can smell it.' Momo asks before you while she is pointing at your steering wheel.

 "No, I was busy, very busy. I just couldn't help myself when I thought about getting to spend more time with you."

 'No, you lie. I can smell that you fucked another bitch on the car. You did not even clean the car before picking me up? You even cum on your steering wheel? So excited with that bitch huh?'

 Momo starts dropping tears while she is yelling at you. You don't want to see her crying, you wipe her tears and hold her hand. However, Momo just turns her head around.

 "You want me to explain what happened? Then I will" I proceed to explain the part of Sana masturbating in the car and causing me trouble all day, but that I didn't fuck her at all. "I'm sorry for lying but it’s just embarrassing to say that all that happened."

 You try to explain to Momo what happened today and hiding the fact that you have fucked Sana before.

 'I want to believe you too, but how come she will masturbate in your car if you two don't have any relationship. Or both of us are one of your girlfriends?'

 Momo seems calmed down but still questioning your response.

 "You are. I had to ask my neighbor for help on that situation. Look Momo, I don't exactly know what Sana's problem is but I'm only with you."

 Only with me, Nayeon not included huh?'

 Momo seems finally convinced by you and start to smile again.

 'Y/N, you know you are really attractive that every girls fall for you? I bet that girl must developed some feeling on you. I am glad that you did not tempt to fuck her.'

 Momo says while kiss your cheek.

 "Let's go Momo" I say while I drive home.

 Once you get off the car, you and Momo start to make out passionately, all the way back to your flat. You just barely close the door and start fuck Momo on the dining table.

 Momo give her everything to you after you have confirmed the relationship, her trained body brings so much fun to you through the night. You just end the fierce sex nearly the sunrise.

 You are woken up by the sensation from your shaft, 'Momo stop, you haven't had enough for yesterday?' But you soon feel strange, as Momo is still in your arms, Sleeping tightly.

 You rub your eye and look down, it is Mina that giving you the morning blowjob alarm.

 I carefully leave Momo's arms and pull Mina away covering her mouth so she doesn't make a noise. I drag us both to the other room and tell her to leave. "Mina, I appreciate you for waking me up but I need you to leave and meet me at the office. We'll have a "special" meeting there." Mina is confused but agrees when she hears about the meeting, leaving quickly and without a word. In the meantime, I make breakfast to cover for me leaving Momo in bed.

 You heading to the kitchen to make breakfast for Momo, while you text Mina again to make sure she won't return.

 After the breakfast was ready, you back to your room and wake up Momo.

 'It's morning already? I am so tired baby, can I sleep for a bit longer?' Momo seems refuse to wake up yet.

 "I guess you don't want to eat then." I tease. I kiss her forehead.

 You tease Momo by using food, 'No, honey, you can't eat it all, leave something to me.' You then hold Momo in your arms and bring her outside.

 You two share the breakfast like a newly married couple, Momo sitting on your lap while you two are feeding each other. You miss this feeling for a long time, perhaps you have stayed with Nayeon too long, and the passion is slowly missing.

 You kiss Momo for one more time before you are ready to get up, you are going to send her back before you go to work.

 'Honey, what do you think if I move in with you.' Momo asks shyly.

 "I think you're moving a bit too quickly. Give it time, let's see how things go between us. I want to love with you but we had that fight last night."

 Concerning things moving on too quickly and Nayeon could stay here at the weekend, you could only reject Momo. Momo just nods and does not say anything.

#minasaiyatis

#twice smut

#momo smut

#twice momo

#twice jihyo

#twice imagines

#kpop smut

#female idol smut

#girl group smut

[bitter-me]

Golden Hour

Jing Yuan | M. Reader

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Reincarnation AU

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There's a particular painting inside the Luofu Museum. It's a painting of the former General, they say that the General never smiles and always has a blank expression. That painting is the most precious and one of a kind in the whole world...

Why?

Because it's the only time...

Where the General finally smiles...

----------

"Huh... "Wise and Brave; Jing Yuan." Hey, wouldn't it be funny if he's actually you from the past?"

"Nonsense, we just have the same name."

[Name] turn his head towards the white haired man with a raised eyebrow. "Yeah.. Sure.. But you do have the same smile as him." He said as he look back at the painting in front of them.

The General in the painting looks almost identical to the man standing beside him  down to the same smile. Then again, [Name] couldn't imagine Jing Yuan being all stoic like, a smile fits him better. "You know... They say that the General had fallen in love with the Strategist in the Xianzhou, some even say that the Strategist was the reason why he started smiling."

"Really?"

"It's just a myth though, don't know if it's true."

Jing Yuan chuckles at that statement, after all myths are just myths, there's no telling if it's real or not. It's probably fake, people usually make up things just to satisfy their own fantasies, but something in him tells him otherwise.

That maybe, just maybe... It's the truth.

.

.

.

.

.

"ARE YOU INSANE?!"

"It's the most optimal solution, General."

"BY SACRIFICING MY MEN!?"

"Losing a handful of soldiers are better than losing civilians, plus—isn't it their duty to give their live for the people and die in battle?"

"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT WITH SUCH A CALM VOICE?!" The General huffs as he glared daggers at the man in front of him, the man who proposed the very strategy that practically sacrifices his men "for the greater good." Jing Yuan always wonder how this man is able to be the Strategist of the Xianzhou...

A man who stood to benefit from betraying others... It's not proven or anything and yet...

Jing Yuan is certain that he'd turn against the Reignbow Arbiter in a heartbeat...

There's isn't a sane bone in his body.

The other man sigh at Jing Yuan's response as he crosses his arms and spoke up with his usual calm yet firm voice. "And here I thought you'd be more reasonable, given that you're the General."

"The leader of an organization is at the pinnacle of it and, at the same time, he is its slave. The leader must be more than willing to commit any atrocity in order to ensure the organisation's survival."

He hates it.... He hates this man so much...

How could he talk about that so casually? As if these men... Were just mere pawns to him... After all sacrificing a few pawns means relatively little if it means your King's safety.

'He's not thinking about the people.. He's thinking about the Xianzhou Loufu's survival instead...'

"They were right about you... You're a wolf in sheep's clothing..." He started as he continues to glare daggers at the man. The man only gave him an unamused look as he asked in a calm voice. "And why would you think that?" Jing Yuan scoffed at the question as he crosses his arms. "Talking to you is impossible."

"But in all honesty, give my strategy some thought, General."

"There's nothing left to think regarding that. I want you to change it this instant."

The man sigh at the order he was given, he uncrossed his arms and took back the papers from the General's desk. "As you wish."

And with that... The man left his office.

Jing Yuan sigh as he put a hand on his forehead and look down at his wooden desk. "I can't believe that man... [Name] was it..?" He mumbled under his breath.

'It's as if a life meant relatively little to him.'

.

.

.

.

.

"I never knew you could be a skilled doctor.."

"I was the Head Physician before becoming your strategist, General."

"..."

The two fall silent as [Name] bandaged the general's wounds. It seems even the "Mighty General of the Loufu" can get hurt. How fascinating. Once he's done, [Name] lets out a sigh and puts back the supplies he had used. "I suggest you shouldn't go to any missions at the moment. Let your wounds heal."

Jing Yuan remains silent as he inspects his carefully treated wounds. The bandages aren't too tight, and his body isn't as sore anymore. [Name] might be a sociopath with the types of strategies he comes up with. But he's a wonderful physician. Maybe he should stay as one.

"Can't have you start bleeding out in the middle of a fight after all. Unless you wanted me to operate on you then go ahead."

Jing Yuan can't help but sigh at those words. Of course the doctor has to open his mouth and end it on that note... even if he's good, [Name]'s still a sociopath though..

"...Understood."

"Good."

.

.

.

.

.

The crowd was silent as they watched the starskiff flies to through the sky. Reaching greater heights. "Another sent of.." The doctor mumbled under his breath.

"Sad, isn't it?"

"Not really."

Oh you sociopath! Jing Yuan snapped his head towards him. He was about to argue until he saw a soft smile on the doctor's face. A soft. Melancholy. Smile.

"It's not sad. It's poetic." [Name] says softly as he watches the starskiff. "In a way, if you're at a loss, you could look up at the sky and.... remember that they're watching over you.. and there's nothing to be afraid of.." Turning his head towards the general, [Name] gave him a closed eye smile as his hair got caught in the wind. "It's almost romantic, is it not?"

Jing Yuan felt a strange and warm feeling on his chest. Without thinking, he returns the smile with his own. "If you put it that way.. it is kinda poetic.."

----------

"Well... I heard that the Strategist is far more worse than the General." Jing Yuan spoke up, making [Name] turn his head to look at him with a raised eyebrow. "Really?" He asked as he crosses his arms, waiting for am explanation. "Yup, they say that the Strategist is a sociopath. I've also heard that the General was the reason the Strategist began to have a "heart". " Jing Yuan concluded with a smirk on his face.

[Name] can't help but chuckle at those words. For some reason.. he had a feeling it was true..

[nagaytoe]

Habromania

(Noun) Delusions of happiness

Solivan Brugmansia X Reader

TWs: Mentions of death, dead bodies, murder, smut, technically non-con

Disclaimer: This is my first time ever writing smut and it was way more uncomfortable than I would've initially thought lol

I feel like people are either gonna love this or hate this, no in between c:

Word count: 1.8k

Requests: open

“Pumpkin, I'm home!”

Sol stepped into the dark apartment, immediately reaching for the light switch to illuminate the space. He tossed the keys to his apartment on the drawer right next to the front door, before taking off his black boots and coat.

“It's really cold outside…you can be glad that you don't have to confront yourself with that…though, it’s hardly any warmer in here…” Sol chuckled slightly at his own comment. “Well, at least the atmosphere is rather nice…Christmas is right around the corner anyways. I'm still contemplating on what to get you… I'll come up with something soon enough. Maybe I could just draw a portrait of you… Or the two of us together. Wouldn't that be lovely?”

Sol entered your shared bedroom and saw you laying on the bed as always, the soft duvets wrinkled under you. “Pumpkin, really, we need to get you out of that bed one of those days…it's not good to constantly be laying down.”

You neither answered him nor glanced at him.

Sol looked at the time.

“Oh, it's almost 6pm? I'm sorry that I left you alone here for so long. I had some… business to take care of…”

Sol's tone of voice darkened but he quickly changed his demeanor again, clasping his hands together.

“Now, what should I cook? Do you have a specific wish, Pumpkin? Oh, I know, I'll cook your favorite meal in order to make it up to you that you had to wait so long! You can stay here, I'll take care of everything.”

Sol gently kissed the top of your head before leaving the bedroom and walking straight towards the rather small kitchen.

The tall male took out every ingredient necessary for your favorite meal and started cooking, his skilled hands deftly working away. When he was done, he prepared two plates with food and took them with him back into the bedroom.

“Here you go, Pumpkin.” Sol set down one plate on the bedside table before sitting down next to you on the bed, his legs crossed and the other plate placed on his lap.

The man clasped his hands together in a silent prayer, shutting his eyes and whispering, “Thank you for the food.”, before digging in. Halfway through his meal Sol frowned.

“Pumpkin, you haven't touched your food at all… again… it's your favorite, you know?”

He sighed when you didn't respond. Ever since he took you here, to his apartment, you've given him the silent treatment.

Sol was patient however, he understood.

After he finished his meal, he got up, grabbing his and your plate and taking them back to the kitchen. He put the leftovers into a container, storing it in the fridge among a dozen others, cleaning the dirty dishes and cutlery afterwards. Once he was finished, he swiftly returned to the bedroom.

“What do you wanna do tonight, Pumpkin?”

No answer.

Sol looked slightly dejected at your lack of an answer, before bringing up an idea himself, “How about a movie? Sleepy Hollow, maybe? I know how much you love that movie.” He smiled softly, grabbing the remote and laying down on the bed next to you, covering himself with a thick blanket. As he turned on the movie, he snuggled closer to you, resting his head on your shoulder. You didn’t make any attempts at leaning into him or resting your head on top of his own. Sol didn’t mind however, he knew that you’d take some time to warm up to him, though he often doubted whether that would happen at all. Either way, you were here with him and that’s all that mattered to him.

The end credits rolled on screen and Sol let out a yawn, stretching slightly and sitting up. He stayed in the same position for the entirety of the movie, concerned about making you uncomfortable by adjusting his position and moving too much. “I honestly don’t know how you do it, Pumpkin. How can you stay in the same position all the time, I’m already sore after 2 hours.” He chuckled lightly and looked at you. You were so pretty, even though your appearance had changed. You were way paler than before and looked a little greasy in general, but that’s okay, Sol loved you regardless. The tall male stood up and got ready for bed, brushing his teeth and changing into his sleepwear. After a few minutes, he slipped under the covers, snuggling close to your body.

“I love you, [____]. I’m so glad to have you in my life, to have you here with me…” He pressed a kiss to your shoulder, before resting his head on top of it and falling into a peaceful slumber.

-

Rays of sunlight streamed into the room through the slits of the blinds. Sol blinked a little, looking up towards your face. There you were, in all your glory, eyes slightly open already and your pupils dilated, just as they always were nowadays. “You’re awake, Pumpkin.” He shifted slightly in position to softly kiss your cheek. Sol looked at you with an awestruck expression. How did you manage to be this effortlessly pretty? He let out a content sigh, as if in a dreamy haze, before brushing your hair out of your face. “I gotta go, Pumpkin. Don’t worry though, I’ll be back right after my classes today, you won’t have to miss me for too long.”

Pressing another delicate kiss to your cheek, he finally got up and started getting ready for the day.

“See you later, Pumpkin!” He called out after putting on his coat and boots, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. You couldn’t care less whether or not he was here with you. You stopped caring long ago.

Sol came back home after a few hours. This was the everyday routine for him these days: Getting up, going to university, coming back home and spending the rest of his day with you, given he didn’t have any business to attend to. He couldn’t complain though. This is what he had always dreamed of, he went a long way for this, killing Jericho Ichabod just so he could have you all to himself and he’d be damned if he didn’t appreciate it.

“I’m back, Pumpkin… I hope you didn’t miss me too much.”, He waited for a response he would never get, “Can’t say the same for me, I missed you all day long, like I always do…” Without wasting more time, he got back into bed with you. The air in the room was musty, but he didn’t bother opening a window. You were always extremely cold, he didn’t need to make it worse by letting in the cool December breeze. “I missed you… so much…” Sol cuddled even closer, his face buried in the crook of your neck and inhaling your scent, letting out a shaky breath as a shiver ran down his spine. “You smell so good… How do you smell this good, Pumpkin?” His hand ran up and down your upper body. “I missed your smell… the feeling of your body… your touch…”

His breathing was slowly becoming more laboured as he got more and more worked up, his hands groping your body.

“Please Pumpkin… let me have this, please…” He was begging you at this point… And how could you refuse?

His hand clutched his erection through his pants, which were feeling way too tight right about now. Sol groaned, unbuckling his pants and pulling them down alongside his underwear. He took your hand in his, wrapping your fingers around his aching cock, his own hand on top of yours, guiding your movements. “A- ahh..Pumpkin…” he moaned as he started moving your hand up and down his hard-on. He went faster and faster, thrusting into your hand by now.

“I love you, Pumpkin… I always have and I always will…” He whispered between quiet moans and shaky breaths. It didn’t take long for him to reach his peak, his sperm squirting out and soaking your intertwined hands in his juices. Sol was panting, trying to catch his breath as he came down from his high. “Pumpkin… you’re so utterly perfect, you know that? I’m so lucky to have you, my Soulmate…” he sighed, nuzzling his head further into your shoulder. He placed your hand on his bedside table and pressed a kiss to your shoulder before getting up from the bed. “I’ll get something to clean up the mess, I won’t be long.” With that he left the room, washing his hands and grabbing a cloth, as well as some bandages from the bathroom cabinet.

Sol returned from the bathroom and re-entered his bedroom. It was ever so slightly warmer than usually, a noticeable change in comparison to the usual coldness of the room. He didn’t even notice the putrid smell in the air anymore, long having gotten used to it as he walked up to his bedside, grabbing your hand from the table next to it and taking off the now drenched bandages wrapped around your fingers. He was careful in his approach, not wanting to ruin your hand. Once the bandage was off, he could see the rotten skin underneath, though there was barely any left hanging onto the slender bones of your severed hand. He renewed the bandage and put your hand beside your body again. Your hand was a representation of the rest of your body. Rotten skin and flesh holding onto your bones with all the strength they had left, however, most of your body was covered in bandages anyways, covering the poorly sewn together hole in your chest. Your eyes, unblinking and blank, stared straight ahead, as if in a trance, as if you were avoiding to look at him.

You were still as pretty as ever to him. You might have been a shell of who you once were, but Sol didn’t care. In his delusion, you still looked the same, with your soft skin, silky hair and bright eyes. Alive and breathing. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head, as he laid down next to you again, snuggling close to your body, whispering sweet nothings and his usual declaration of eternal love.

“I love you, Pumpkin, I will until I take my last breath– and beyond.” He deeply inhaled your scent - the stench of death and rotten flesh, though to him you smelled like heaven.

“We'll be together for the rest of time. Don't worry, no one will ever take you away from me, I'll make sure of that…”

You would never leave him, would you?

Well, it's not like you have a choice, for even after death he refuses to let go of you.

—————————————

Note: I am curious, did anyone catch the little phrases I left throughout the story, hinting at the death of the reader? (they're in bold font)

By the way, this was written before fantasia posted the canon events after the bad ending, but it's fun to think about ither ways it could've gone down nonetheless!

[camilledlc]

I think Wade Wilson is way more intelligent than people give him credit for. Or, another character essay no one asked for :

This will be based both on comics and movies. Also, spoilers for Deadpool and Wolverine.

I think it's often said that Wade doesn't know how to read situations, as he often acts inappropriately during them. He doesn't seem to sense the mood of the person he's talking to, angering them more often than not, and he doesn't really care about watching his mouth around children, etc. There are tons of examples of Wade being 'stupid', and 'immature', blah blah blah. But I don't think that's quite true.

Wade has also numerous moments where he perfectly reads a situation. He is extremely aware of how others may perceive his scars, he figured Negasonic Teenage Warhead pretty easily during the first movie (when talking about sarcastic comments or whatever, if I remember correctly). He knows how people act and think, and he definitely knows how to assess a situation. When he got Johnny Storm killed, he knew what he was doing. He was into a dangerous situations, just having been kidnapped and he couldn't fight, not even knowing how strong and what powers Cassandra Nova had. But by turning her against Johnny, not only was he able to assess her, but also prove that he wasn't here to cause her trouble. It was a cruel and ruthless action, but it was smart nonetheless.

Besides, people often forgets very important facts about his skills. Wade is an extremely good fighter, and that's partially due to the fact that he's a master at almost every martial arts. He knows a bunch of them, and he is capable of practicing them with impeccable form. He's also a master at espionage, infiltrations, cover missions, etc. He knows how to handle a lot of different weapons, and he is canonically one of the best fighters in the entire Marvel Universe. All of those skills require a certain level of intelligence. Fighting demands to remember the different styles and techniques, as well as enough practice to switch between them easily. Espionage, infiltration, and cover missions demand someone who is capable of discretion and and ability to judge a situation, notice details that no one else would and invent on the spot creative ways to do things. All in all, he has to be extremely smart to be able to do all of that. That's also without counting the fact that he knows how to speak fluently five different languages.

With all of these proofs, it's impossible to say that Wade is dumb. But why does he acts like it?

There is no official answer as to why Wade is this way. The most you can get is that he is extremely mentally unstable. This is the result of both a bad childhood and very traumatizing experiences as a superhero. It is said he was already mentally unstable during his childhood, so I'm inclined to believe that it also has something to do with his brain in general.

What I personally believe is that Wade is someone who gets bored extremely easily. He has ADHD (not really official in the movies, but canon in the comics), and he always seems to jump from one topic to the other. His mind is often considered a mess, and he himself sometimes has trouble keeping up with it. I think that someone like him has to be stimulated at all times, because boredom is definitely the worst thing that could happen to him. Even in the last movie, he seemed to hate his job because of how boring it was, not hesitating to go back into action and becoming more and more himself again as he just do exciting things. He has always been like this, even before he got his regenerating factor. When he did his job, he wasn't always careful and often loud-mouthed. It didn't interest him to just kill people, he wanted a fight. He wanted a back and forth, a sort of game. He needs to feel in danger, needs the thrill of it.

But then he gets his mutation. Suddenly, he can't die, he can't be seriously hurt, nothing has any real consequences. And so the games became boring. What is the point of putting himself in dangerous situations if he's never really in danger? How boring it is to do a job where you're perfectly safe? The only kind of thrill he can find anymore is by having the back and forth verbally. That's when it has consequences, and people actually able to surprise him, to beat him even. Attacking by talking his is one way to not feel bored. He surprises, he shocks, he annoys, but it's always different. Even during the last movie, when he was with Logan, he clearly said they didn't need to fight, yet he couldn't stop edging him verbally, always finding ways to push his buttons.

Wade is a very bored person, with a great understanding of where the limits are. And because he's so good at finding the limits, he's even better at crossing them willingly, sometimes at the expanse of the people he loves, because he can't be bored.

(I also like the interpretation of him just needing to be at the centre of attention, but I think it's a bit more classical and has already been done and re-done. So, this one is a bit trickier and way funnier for me.)

[shitpostingsapphic]

Do you even think about how the most critical part of the fandom never holds Mel to the same standards as Cait? Do you ever think about how Mel also had money, and power, and privilege just like Cait but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a post accusing her of classism? Do you ever think about how Mel was on the council and could have used her skills at influencing people at any time to advocate for the people of Zaun but instead she used it to play politics with the other counsellors? Because I do

(As a side note I love Mel and I love her character but yeah this is really something that I find Interesting)

It's just to earn brownie points for being "good political allies". They don't consciously think about the politics themselves, or are willing to have civilized and thoughtful discussions about it. Because you're right, Mel is in some ways even more complicit than Caitlyn because she was a councilor for YEARS, possibly more than a decade before the events of s2. She was also shown to have clear influence over the other council members from the first episode. She played the political game very well. She could have done a lot. But doesn't. And we could talk about it as a fandom, but we tend to not do so.

Which is a damn shame that they don't want to discuss her character, because Mel is well liked, and for good reason, including her morally grey parts, because it makes her interesting. Mel's arc in s1 is all about her navigating her privilege and wealth and political corruption. Not unlike Caitlyn in s2. I don't know if it's because Mel's position is more subtle and Caitlyn, being a commander and in a more overtly action oriented and sometimes forceful position, calls more attention. But either way, yes, there's definitely double standards. And it's very notable that Mel was a fan favorite in s1, and Caitlyn gathered a lot of hate in s2, despite their arcs having a lot of similarities.

It's a shame we aren't discussing caitlyn as a fandom in the same way, that she's a good character BECAUSE she's morally grey and that makes her interesting. Coming out of s2, her arc is the one I'm most intrigued by. (Followed closely by Vi's, which is deeply misunderstood and overhated, but I've made several posts on that already.)