#I don't know what I'm hoping for at this point but this sure is a funny trainwreck

[erinwantstowrite]

bear with me here because i'm gonna ramble about something i've been thinking about for a while... and i'm not complaining, i'm just noticing

sometimes i think we've leaned so far into the vigilante side of the batfam that we miss out on what really makes their characters: detective work. we need more mysteries in their lives that don't lead up to some big bad "we already know who's doing it" or an "end of the world" or "yet again: this fucking guy." we need more stuff where spy movie music plays in the background and dumb adventures that don't lead up to some huge grand event with a big name villain. the shock factor stops being shocking or interesting in any capacity if we're like "Gah! the Joker! ... Again!" or whatever

does that even make sense? like "yeah sure they're blowing up a building again and there's hostages. oh look they're gonna poison the water supply." these aren't bad and that's not what i'm getting at because obviously this is a classic for comics. you need to have characters/antagonists that show up more than once and who can make a story better by being in it. and i did say to bear with me- that's because im tired. so like i hope im getting this across the right way? it's just that sometimes i don't wanna see a huge explosion, i want these motherfuckers solving a regular murder or a disappearance or regular corruption in a local office without it being tied to a grand reveal like "actually this person knows you as a long lost relative" or "they were at that circus can you guess which night they went?" that kind of thing? if you get me? like... more of the small time stuff makes the big stuff important, it makes it stand out more. at some point, the format gets repetitive even if you're switching up the villains. you can make these situations/mysteries still fun to solve for the characters and fun to read for the audience if you do it right

the concept of a detective dressed as a bat and having a sidekick in traffic light colors is inherently goofy as hell??? but that is what is so charming about it??? i think we have lost the balance between them being silly while also being intelligent with important conversations that criticize the world as we see it and teach lessons and can go over dark topics. nowadays it's always end of the world problems or just straight up the most gruesome true crime you can think of?? or they can ONLY do the dark stuff and the criticism without offering a balance of the good in the world. or we keep coming back to the FUCKING JOKER-

like yes they are vigilantes and with that comes a different level of their work, but their brand should be a mix between a black and white detective film that can get very nitty gritty and a classic spy movie, that kind of thing. at the end of the day, it's what makes them so different from the superheroes. that's what appeals to me.

seeing them in the big superhero groups is fun, don't get me wrong. it's always funny to see them standing next to people who are so powerful they never really fit in with anyone but each other, who chose to step up and use their powers for good. the Bats' specialty is Gotham and yet here they are stopping a god or whatever. and they do stop the god or whatever, all the while being an important leader and strategist to their teammates. they're important to have in these cases. but if there's a world ending event every time i pick something up, it's not as fun

the fact that they are so very human and not fantastical is why i like reading them. it's what makes the joke of people, even Gotham citizens, theorizing about them being cryptids, funny. they're fucking weird but that's because they're detectives. people who love to solve mysteries usually have a fatal flaw of curiosity. they forget the bounds between social interactions sometimes because they're used to working through problems or being intertwined with partners that understand them. but they're very much human. so human that it hurts them in many ways. and idk i've just been thinking about it lately and idk what point i'm trying to get across actually

it's just that in my eyes that's how it really is for Batman- a black and white movie narrated by a very serious man who took up a job to help people, one that has a deeper commentary on the world and viewed outwardly as pessimistic but actually has a deep hope for his city and who tries to help even the people who have wronged others. He's a stationary man in the belief that him being a constant can serve to soothe others and help them move forward. He stays in the middle of the path so he can tell everyone what is up ahead. he blends into the Gotham rainy night to serve justice but in a way that saves both the victim and the perpetrator. (the way he tucks a Robin into his cape is the same he does for Gotham with his mere presence.) and his background is actually so important to his story and yet people still somehow gloss over the lesson from it? he lost his parents because of a man who was on the opposite end of the spectrum to where he was in life. and yet he chose to help the people like the man that killed his parents. he could have done anything else with his power and money, but he instead is choosing to bring as many people up with him as he can. He's Mr. Serious that no one else can get a read on. and yet he walks into a room and he's already piecing together your life and what you're going through because he thinks it matters. he comforts people who have lost something or someone or themselves. I picture Batman and I don't picture a man trying to save the world, I picture a detective walking around a crime scene and trying to save at least one person every time he puts on the cape. and he put on the cape and became a vigilante because then he could go out of the bounds of what laws have been set up- and specifically, Gotham has other people in power who are corrupt, keeping the system that way. that's why Batman being a billionare and throwing himself into helping people at the risk of his own life is so important. he knows that if you are alive, you have something or someone to lose, no matter who you are. the dude is a bleeding heart but he doesn't know how to express it, in fear that if he gets too close, if he moves down the path with them, he'll be lost again

and then he's met with someone who should be a complete opposite, but isn't at all, because they're two sides of the same coin. his partner in crime, his son, a boy that is nothing like the black and white world that he sees. and that's the point in his life where he first sees that potentially getting lost is worth the risk. Robin is color and passion that needs guidance to move forward, but can not do so unless the stationary man learns to move with him. the kid is loud and reckless and you'd think he's from a different genre from the detective but they aren't so different, really. not when you look close enough. Dick grew up moving from place to place and seeing the world, knowing so many different people from different cultures. He's been learning to fly and jump and embrace the free fall his entire life. He's clever and he's sharp, and he thrives in the action and adventure. it's that perspective that compliments the stationary man. one is steady and the other pushes. he's the same genre but a different generation. and Batman introducing him to the way of life he chose for himself was another way he could save someone. because let's be real for a second? Dick would have gone down a very dark path had he not had Bruce, who understood, who saw not just himself in the kid but also saw who the kid has been his entire life until now. he saw Dick's parents, he saw the family he had in the circus, he saw the joy he had in what his family was doing. he saw the grief and the fire and the color that Dick's world was made of. because to Bruce, it always matters. Dick had to come to terms with Bruce's perspective to help anyone who they come across, to always give more chances, and it kept Dick from losing his color

what gets me is that the man who lives in the black and white world can actually see many different shades of gray (because black and white always needs the medium), whereas the boy in a world of color and light can get so focused on the bright that he can become single minded. and yet the boy sees a world of color and delves deeper into the lives of the peolle they come across and can be much more open minded, and the man in the black and white world sometimes forgets the shades of grey are right there. they are just like each other. they can exist without the other, but do they want to? because the black and white can be built up into the colored image, like the inking and shadows drawn on a comic book page before the colors are added in. they meet in the middle to complete each other. Bruce has been passing the story over to the next generation for a long, long time, even before his story was complete. and just like with the first Robin, it was so for every Robin afterwards. they each color in the lines differently, but that's what makes Robin so special, so unique. they are an art style that branches into their own life, but can not forget where they started: tucked into Batman's cape and the inky black of his world

and so detective work really frames their hunanity to me. the mysteries they get their hands on, the glimpses into the lives of Gotham citizens that they swore to protect, it's fascinating. it's what makes their story stand out compared to the people who can lift trucks or cast spells or run around the world in seconds. so yeah ig that's what i'm trying to say? that i want to read more of that? in both canon and fanon. cause even the small time villains we see can be like. AWFUL people and it takes out the fun of their gimmicks. and if it were any other day this would be a more coherent post but alas, it is not any other day

[valalice]

۶ৎ dating older gf! caitlyn kiramman and having to endure the drastic ways the two of you text. cw. age gap (two consenting adults, about a 10 year age gap). reader is a college student. slightly suggestive. a somewhat modern au?

when you first started dating caitlyn you found it endearing and rather cute at how proper she texts you. always making sure to start her sentences when a capital letter and having correct punctuation. going out of her way to correct your speach : "Remember to capitalize I's, darling." // "There should've been a comma between there." // "So many exclamation marks, my baby must be really excited."

she also became rather familiar with all of your quick abbreviations, but not without questioning them : "What does PMO mean?" // "At this point, I know that one!" // "ABT means about?" // "I know BRB. Do you really think I'm that old?"

no matter at what stage you and caitlyn are at she will always keep sending you those chivalrous texts that makes your heart flutter when you read them. they started during the early stages of dating and they just happened to stick : "Good morning, Baby. Just made it to the office, already counting down the hours until we meet up for lunch." // "I hope your classes haven't been too draining today. Remember to eat and stay hydrated!" // "I miss you, pretty girl. Would you mind if I stopped by for a moment to see you?" // "You just continue to take my breath away."

older gf! caitlyn loves to spoil you by randomly sending you money, screenshots of purchases she got for you, or secret gifts that pop up in front of your door. she doesn't think twice when she sends you money or spends money on you, it's so casual for her to care for you in this way. but, it was, and still is an adjustment to openly accept the large quantities of money she's sending into your bank account : "Don't worry about it, darling. You deserve it with all your hard work." // "Got you a little gift. X" // "Spoil yourself for me while I'm away on this conference." // "Look outside your door." // "I have your rent covered for this month, love." // "Treat you and your friends to a dinner."

you love to see how you're rubbing off on her in the way she text. she isn't adapting all of your short abbreviations for words and sayings, but she had adapted the use of you "Adorable emoji faces." as caitlyn calls them, even though you try to tell her they aren't even emojis : "Going to be picking you up in a couple of hours. Can't wait to spend the weekend with you. :D" // "But you could also do homework at my place. ;)" // "The office loved those brownies you baked! You're such a sweetheart. <3" // "Work? >:( I told you I'd take care of you. No need for you to worry your pretty little head about anything."

and when you try to send her suggestive text and decide risky on her phone, on her internet, older gf! caitlyn is quick to put you in your place : "Don't start something you can't finish." // "You're being a little minx today, aren't you?" // "Mhm. You're too cute when you're needy." // "Where'd my good girl go, and why has she been replaced with a brat instead?" // "A please could get you a long way."

. . . as much as you tease older gf! caitlyn on being "so old" and "texting like an old lady" you find all her efforts at keeping up with you (and even correcting you) heartwarming.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Ulquiorra Cifer didn't think about Tousen much at all until he was out on the roof of Las Noches, practicing his second release, and meets the man, sitting alone with his face pointed up at the sky, and he asks Ulquiorra the most peculiar question:

"Are there any stars tonight?"

This was a peculiar question on several fronts:

This sounded like an invitation to engage in a social conversation, a bewildering activity under the best of circumstances, but particularly-

-with the shinigami Lords, and especially Lord Tousen who kept the same social schedule as a reclusive mountain hermit and was always extremely businesslike with a disregard for levity that Ulquiorra thought was refreshingly professional, so

-to hear him ask about the presence of stars was distressing in both that Ulquiorra hoped the man wasn't about to reveal a heretofore unseen saccharine side, and-

-worse, Ulquiorra wasn't actually sure about the existential quality of stars in general.

The arrancar became aware that he was running out of the socially acceptable time frame in which to respond to an Inquiry, and in his haste to avoid causing offense to his commanding officer, slipped up and answered honestly.

"...I don't know."

Tousen frowned, confused. "... you don't know?"

"No Lo- Mr. Tousen." Ulquiorra corrected himself, remembering the myriad corrections other Arrancar received. Perhaps this would divert the flow of this interaction.

"... what's stopping you from knowing?" Tousen asked, head slowly tipping sideways, intently listening at Ulquiorra.

The Arrancar was silent for a long time, glaring up at the sky.

"Mr. Cif-?" Tousen started to ask.

"I can see several thousand points of light in the night sky whose static position indicates but does not exclusively confirm that they are very large lights and extreme distance away." He started. "Many of these lights are recognizable from one night to the next, by consistent color, position and movement."

"Well, that certainly sounds like stars." Tousen nodded. "...so what makes you unsure?"

Ulquiorra was silent again for a long time, but the shinigami waited patiently.

"...My eyes are unusual."

He then failed to elaborate.

Tousen made a small waving gesture to encourage him.

"When I first became aware as the being I am now, I could only see." Ulqiorra finally spoke. "My mask wasn't so much a mask as a cocoon that encased my entire body. I could see, and sometimes feel if something made a particularly strong impact with my body, but. If anyone ever spoke to or called for me, I would not have heard. I did not smell, I did not taste, I did not eat. I was... entirely alone, inside and out."

Tousen frowned sympathetically at him.

"It was wonderful." Ulquiorra sighed. "Everything was beautiful. Everything was clear. If I could see it, it was real. If I could not, it was not. Back then, the stars were real.

"Eventually, I came to the corpse of a giant tree, something more real than anything else had ever been and I... I tried to embrace it, this thing of such wonderfully indisputable existential nature- and it broke the mask encasing my body, and I became 'Ulquiorra' as I am now."

"So... since you became an arrancar, and your senses expanded, the stars don't seem real anymore?" Tousen tilted his head, puzzling.

"I- no. It's not the stars that have changed. It's the nature of what is and is not real." Ulquiorra muttered. "- and it wasn't breaking my mask that changed it. The nature of reality changed when I met Lord Aizen and the others and suddenly there are things that everyone acts like are real but there's no tangible or objective proof of them- like "Loyalty", or The So-Called Soul King Lord Aizen is so opposed to! They all talk about them like they're real observable things but there's nothing- Why are you laughing?"

"I'm sorry- You're so correct it's funny." Tousen apologized, trying to stifle the shaking of his shoulders.

"Why is my being right funny?" Ulquiorra grumbled, eyes narrowing.

"It's not that important. Tell me about the stars." He smiled, patting the roof beside him, indicating Ulquiorra should sit beside him.

With a resigned sigh, Ulquiorra sat down beside the Shinigami.

"Its frustrating to no end- I feel like I'm going mad sometimes when Lord Aizen goes on his monologues about the throne of heaven- I mean, he has a perfectly good chair right here, what does he want with one in another dimension?" Ulquiorra huffed.

"I'm not sure either!" Tousen bared his teeth in a way that only sort of resembled a grin. "As far as things that only sort of exist- You do know that just because something is intangible, or only exists as a social construct, that it's still real, right? For a given value of Real, at any rate."

Ulquiorra stared blankly at him. "What."

Tousen sighed deeply. "Just because a thing is only perceptible to some senses, doesn't mean it's not real. Our senses are quite limited really- only a narrow range of sounds are audible, we only have chemoreceptors for a handful of chemicals- even your eyes can only see a very narrow slice of the full spectrum of light."

Ulquiorra huffed. "I'm aware. But they're still demonstrably real- A hollow with the power of invisibility will eventually bite me. And if it doesn't, then what does it matter to me if it's real or not?"

"Perhaps you would like to know if the invisible hollow is real *before" it bites you?" Tousen asked, resting his cheek on his knuckles and listening at Ulquiorra with interest.

The Arrancar made a low rumbling noise and looked away but didn't disagree.

"The trick is that things that are not immediately perceptible can be inferred by the effect they have on the world around them." Tousen explained. "If nobody had ever told me about the moon, I might have lived in ignorance- it's not like I can hear or smell it, and it's too far to touch. But I might have deduced it's existence by the way it causes tides, and how it changes the behavior of animals with its phases."

"...Hm. Much to think about." Ulquiorra muttered, desperate to get out of this conversation, but didn't get up. They passed sometime in nearly companionable silence, Ulquiorra staring up at the stars.

"...You can't see the moon." Ulquiorra realized. "You're not effected by Aize-MPF!" Ulquiorra was suddenly tackled by Tousen, hands over the Arrancar 's mouth in an exceptionally dangerous maneuver- but something about the fear in his expression made Ulquiorra hesitant to bite his fingers off. The shinigami listened to the night around them, reiatsu unfurling like the wings of some great beast, before he slowly let go and sat back.

"-my apologies, but even discussing suigetsu is a dangerous business." Tousen sighed. "Trust me, I'd know." He laughed darkly.

"-but you'd know if someone else was under the effects of Suigetsu?" Ulquiorra demanded, sitting up and grabbing the shinigami's shoulders. "I- I know only some of us are- certainly Barragan, and I think Hallibel too- but Starrk isn't! I don't know why, but I heard Aizen telling him that he wanted Starrk to 'see me exactly as I am', whatever that means-"

"asshole." Tousen grunted, untangling himself from the Arrancar. "-not you, Aizen. You're worried he's gotten his hook- AUGH!" The shinigami yelped , falling back and clutching his shoulder.

Ulquiorra stared as Tousen struggled to sit up again, an uneasy feeling growing in him, like the hole in his chest was growing.

"I thought perhaps Aizen had left me alone so I could deliver reports to him with my eyes unaffected, but..." He watched Tousen, panting with pain. "...there's something else going on, isn't there?"

"I can't talk about it but- yes, I think I can help." Tousen nodded, starting to undo the buttons of his coat. "Have you ever seen my back before?"

"...No." Ulquiorra frowned.

"Good, good- try to imagine what you think it looks like. You don't have to say, just think about it until you have a firm concept." Tousen nodded. "Got it?"

"Yes." Ulquiorra said, bewildered, them even moreso when the shinigami turned his back to him and dropped his coat.

"Does my back look about how you expected, or different?" Tousen asked, voice strained with an emotion Ulquiorra couldn't quite identify.

"Different." Ulquiorra stared, the sickening sensation growing to almost intolerable levels at the sight of the mutilated flesh- nails pounded into Tousen's spine, characters hapazardly craved into his shoulders. "Very different."

"Then you are not under the influence of Suigetsu." Tousen sighed with relief, pulling his coat back on. "I can't talk about it but- there are hidden depths to Aizen's depravity."

"I see." Ulquiorra muttered, still not getting up. Despite having his question answered and Tousen unable to discuss it further, it somehow felt wrong to leave just yet.

Another wordless void between them, filled only with Tousen's pained panting and the incessant desert wind.

"There are many thousands of what I am now reasonably sure are stars out tonight." Said Ulquiorra and the barking noise Tousen made was somewhere between joy and agony.

"...Thank you, Ulquiorra." Tousen smiled weakly. "Thank you. You have no idea what that means to me."

"... would you like to hear the rest of the report, Sir?" Ulquiorra asked, unsure why, save for a peculiar notion that it was the correct thing to offer.

"Please?" Tousen asked, still pained.

"...there is a very large but non-discrete band of light and shadow spanning the sky from the northwest horizon to the southeast one. It is not quite directly overhead, but if it follows it's normal trajectory, it will pass over us in half an hour..."

AEIWAM Question: What do the various Espada Think of Tousen? Follow-up question, will they, the bunch of dumbasses that they are (because Aizen made them for loyalty, not thinking), declare him their unquestioned leader once Aizen, Gin and Urloquia fork off to see the cosmic taffy pull (also presuming that Barrigan winds up face down in a ditch per canon)?

Bless you for asking this, I needed something to chew on. I'm going to answer these one at a time because the post would be insanely long, and how the thought of him Before the Battle of Karakura Probably:

---

Aaroniero and Arruruerie are SURE they've met before, and that they owes the man a debt of gratitude.

It's possible, they suppose. They have consumed and absorbed the memories of so many hollows that maybe they remember the face from a hollow he killed.

At least, that's what they hope is going on.

But they have Nightmares. Not of being pursued by Shinigami but of being the Shinigami in hot pursuit. Dreams of walking through a city, surrounded by humans that adore them. Names and Faces- Rukia and her dipshit older brother, Jushiro with the nice couch they sometimes pass out on after long nights- if Jushiro's husband wasn't already there. ...Memories, of meeting each other, and falling in love. How it felt as natural to look up to her as it was to gaze at the moon. How waking up to him felt as natural as the dawn. Memories of being married by Captain Ukitake, after Tousen had done them the inexplicable favor of organizing the whole party and acquiring wedding rings. He loves organizing things for people. Ukitake had smiled. Especially weddings. I just hope it's not guilt from the one he didn't get to. His husband had frowned.

That's impossible, of course. They know who they are, how they arose from the vile muck in the shadowy pits of Hueco Mundo. They never stood in the sun one late afternoon, to marry, not with how it burns.

...and yet.

There's no harm in being polite, right? They don't mind locking Glottineria in it's scabbard with an audible click when he comes into the room, to affirm lack of hostilities. Or giving him the cup of tea Aizen gives everyone at his insufferable meetings afterwards- it's not like they can drink it! ...And if sometimes, when they've been working late in the lab studying the effects and causes of Hollowfication, when Tousen gets tired and starts to call them "Kaien" and "Miyako"-

-Well, what's the harm in answering in the voices he expects to hear?

[lilgaeguli]

[ pairing ] childhood best friend × f!reader;

[ sinopsis ] childhood friends with a mutual feeling that blossomed on a sunny summer vacation;

[ wc ] 3,4k

[ genre ] fluffy smut

[ warning ] unprotected sex (don't do this), fingering (f receiving), tons of rough sex, cute nicknames, Hongjoong is a certified lover boy, kitty slapping (once), nipple play, and some comedy at some point (???)

[ song reccomendation ] we can't be friends — Ariana Grande, sweater wheater — The Neighborhood, Friends — Chase Atlantic & Wild Thoughts — Rihanna;

[ n/a ] I really liked to write this cause I loved the vibe. I hope you get it 𖹭

[ ! ] everything written here is merely fictional and does not represent the artists mentioned.

It was supposed to be just a trip between old friends, but it turned out that spring found them, blossoming a forgotten passion.

Everyone ran from one side to the other shouting and singing while you felt your stomach churn as you laying down on the couch waiting for that damn nausea to pass, staring at the old, turned off television. The sun was slowly hiding behind the horizon beginning the night, but for you it only reminds you of the early morning you spent awake. With your eyes closed, you felt like a burden in that state. Through the reflection of the television, with half-open eyes you saw Hongjoong approaching.

— Are you better? — He said, leaning on the couch.

Your head throbbed just from hearing his voice a little louder. You grimaced, bringing a hand to your temple, almost begging him not to open his mouth anymore. Maybe it was a little rude of you.

— Uh, sorry — Then he noticed — I'll speak more softly.

— No problem, it's not your fault — You reassured him, closing your eyes to avoid the light — What time is it, Joong?

Your stomach growled, begging you to eat something, but you were sure you would throw it all up. Damn anxiety, it should have passed by now.

— It's 4:30 pm — he whispered thoughtfully.

Silence hung for a moment, but this time it caused you immediate loneliness. You felt something on your forehead, making you open your eyes with difficulty. It was just Hongjoong checking your temperature with his cold hand. His bright eyes were full of concern despite his expressionless face.

— You need to eat something.

Anxiety. Even the idea of ​​swallowing something repulsed you. You always felt like this on long trips, it took a little less time for the nausea and anxiety to pass. Probably because this time you were traveling with just your friends for the first time, even though it was only a few days in your parents' old summer house, your intuition indicated that something was different.

— I don't want to. It'll pass soon. Besides, I don't want to throw up.

Let's just say that Seonghwa's car almost got a new decoration on the trip. However, not even this infamous reminder made Hongjoong give up.

— You're as white as a sheet, you need to eat – he said more imposingly — I'm going to make some tea and think of something decent, you're going to eat even if I have to feed you. Your mother will kill me if she finds out that I left you on the verge of anemia — That's an exaggeration.

It was strange how he always found a way to take care of you. Not strange, in fact very adorable, almost brotherly to say the least. Knowing that it would be smarter not to argue, you just nodded.

— Aren't you going to see the lake?

Almost as a reflex, Hongjoong picked up a pillow, hitting Mingi, who came into the room excitedly. Poor thing. You laughed softly, avoiding moving, causing a possible dramatic stab.

— Is she still sick?

— Shut up, Mingi! — he scolded once more, coming out louder than he would have liked. Realizing it, Hongjoong looked at you, pleading for mercy on his face.

Your lips twisted chuckling. The headache was going away. Mentally thanking yourself, you sat down and looked through the door that pointed to the huge lawn surrounded by the forest. You felt foolish for being in that state instead of reliving your childhood memories in that place.

— She’s fine, look —  Mingi pointed out, regretting it in the same second due to the storm in his eyes threatening them — Ah… Hongjoong, we were thinking about playing marcopolo¹, maybe going into the forest once more. What do you think?

— Here’s what you do, Mingi — From the beginning of the sentence and Kim’s tone, you already knew what was coming — Why don’t you go ahead and whenever I shout “Marco” you shout “Polo”, we’ll run, I’ll find out where you are. It’ll be super fun — he said ironically, gesturing, that sharp smile was the cherry on the cake.

Giving you a discouraged look, Mingi left cursing softly. You let the laziness melt away from your body and stood up, your shoulders feeling lighter. You didn’t feel the slightest bit like running after butterflies or jumping in the lake with the boys, but it was a start.

— Joon, I’m going up to my old room. I want to take a shower but I promise I’ll come down to help with dinner.

Your feet touched the floor more firmly, a relief.

— No problem, just rest. I’ll be right up to get you something to eat, princess.

Just like the warm sun of that afternoon, that lovely nickname warmed your chest. You went upstairs, walking through the hallways lit only by the rays of sunlight through the windows. It was like reliving a perfect memory, you could smell the cookies your mother baked, perfuming the house, while you and Hongjoong played hide and seek.

You've always been together since you can remember. You grew up together, two children who used to fight over Pokémon cards now barely spent time together due to their busy lives. Seeing the man Kim Hongjoong become filled you with pride. Distant but so familiar, and even from a distance he found a way to take care of you. Maybe it's true that a girl's first crush is the purest.

Entering your room, you caught a glimpse of the wallpaper on the walls with some war marks, that is, chalk scribbles, and your clean bed with a stuffed rabbit on top. Everything was as it always was, as if you had never even left that place.

Stopping for a second you noticed that finally that anxiety and nausea had passed, relieved you looked for your suitcase that Seonghwa had left next to your old dressing table. Out of the corner of your eye you captured your image in the axed mirror. You were a woman now.

After a relaxing bath, you put on a white dress with yellow flowers, like when your mother would bathe you and tidy you up after playing all afternoon completing your memories. You sat in front of the dressing table, fixing your hair with a smile on your face. Just to see if it was just a daydream, you opened the drawers and proved to yourself that that room had stopped in time.

You found things that you didn't even suspect existed anymore, like an unfinished sketchbook full of folds and a photo album. You opened the small album, a little dust tickling your nose indicating the time the object had been forgotten. Each frozen image made a movie run through your head. Until you found a photo of Hongjoong and you together, his knee was scraped, next to the bicycle revealing the reason for the injury. You laughed to yourself as you remembered the story behind the photo. You decided that you were going to teach Kim how to ride a bike without training wheels, helped him, but only for the first 5 seconds before he took his body and the bike to the ground. In an attempt to help, you did as your mother did and showered him with kisses.

— Knock knock — speaking of him — what are you laughing at? I could hear it as I walked up the stairs —  he said, entering the room, balancing a cup in his hand and closing the door behind him with his foot.

Was the house too quiet or were you really excited? Probably both.

—Try drinking a little, it might help ease the… anxiety — he got lost in his own words, but his proud face said what was necessary.

Hongjoong quickly admired you from head to toe, not wanting to be caught doing such an act. You nodded in thanks, grabbing the hot cup and leaving it on the dresser.

— I found some interesting things here. Want to see? — you asked, sipping his tea.

He quickly nodded and you made room for him to sit next to you. You put the cup aside and opened the photo album showing that funny photo, to say the least. When he saw the photo, his face lit up and his previously rigid shoulders took on a relaxed posture, but once again all you could pay attention to was that sweet and funny laugh.

— I didn't know that photo existed. My knee hurt just looking at it — he scratched his head

— Do you want a little kiss to make it better?

Adorable! Both of your cheeks turned a peachy shade. Every joke has a grain of truth. You wanted that, didn't you? — I mean, maybe it wasn't obvious, but you couldn't argue — Your fear was that you wanted that but it could be platonic, or worse, being rejected. Why would he, who watched you grow up and protected you so much, see you as anything more than a friend? But there was a small chance that he was thinking the same thing and that's what you clung to.

— There's one more thing I wanted you to see.

You rummaged through the drawer, fully aware of what you would find. Feeling the objects, you turned to him and placed them in his hands.

— Wait a second, I remember these rings — Holding the rings at his fingertips, he shook his head in disbelief — I bought us lollipops after school and they came as a gift. Later, we played wedding games.

He remembered, even more vividly than you. Hongjoong had a lot to say, questions to ask, it was clear but a lump in his throat held back his words. Suddenly he felt 13 again, looking at you still wondering if it was the right thing to do. A breeze hit the back of the man's neck, that silence creating the perfect environment just for the two of you as if the universe had finally aligned.

— I promised I would take care of you. Even if you left my side I would still be waiting for you — he laughed breathlessly, his eyes were aimless — After all these years... are you still mine?

Millions of fireworks exploded, clearing your mind, finally opening the horizon. It took a few seconds for you to formulate a cohesive sentence, if you knew how torturous those milliseconds were for him. You looked at each other calmly, looking like two fools. Finally, the two of you met again. You brought your faces closer, waiting for his reaction. He left the boy he used to be behind, without hesitation he started a warm kiss. It was sweeter than you could ever imagine, his soft lips against yours gave you goosebumps all over. Taking a liberty, he brought a hand to the back of your neck, deepening the slow kiss that like gunpowder ran through your body, warming you completely. It gradually took a needier turn, as if your bodies were now acting on their own, searching for a perfect connection.

— Joon… wait a minute — you separated, taking a breath. His lips shone, calling you once more, but you knew that from then on it would be dangerous territory.

— What happened? Did I do something wrong? — You wanted to pinch yourself. It was impossible for someone as kind as him to exist. Fool, that’s how you should feel for not having opened your eyes sooner. 

— No, no, no. I just… — you didn’t want to say it, it felt wrong to say such a thing to someone who until a few seconds ago was nothing more than your best friend. But your mistake was forgetting that he knows you, from your tantrums to your silliest quirks.

— I don’t want you to feel obligated to do anything. It’s okay —  you said, making your lips form a line that was still cheerful.

That wasn’t exactly what you wanted to say.

You placed a hand on his chest, pushing him weakly out of the seat and standing up with him gently. You looked deep into his brown eyes and gave him two short kisses that had an innocent undertone.

— I’m tired of waiting for your love, Hongjoong.

Your hands ran over his shoulders, stopping around his neck, caressing the area. In perfect connection, he moved his hands, adorned with silver rings, to your waist, further limiting the distance between your bodies.

—Me too — he murmured — No more games.

Your lips met once more without any secondary thought making you question, in order to explore hidden parts of each other. He sought your warmth in someone who only offered him cold. After so long wanting more than the title “friend,” Hongjoong tried to remain calm, always aware of which part of you he could touch, controlling his growing urgency. You knew what you wanted, it was no longer a surprise. Given that, you helped him take off his shirt, throwing it anywhere in the room. That unknown sensation enveloped you more intensely to the point of being irreversible.

You guided him to the bed and laid him down, untying his belt, as passive-aggressive as he was. You seemed like completely different people at that moment, leaving any modesty aside. Your mesmerizing eyes enchanted him as you crawled towards him, that perfect vision at the same time angelic, promiscuous and seductive. You distributed kisses along his neck, going up his jaw to his ear, moaning softly just so he could have a taste of how much you wanted him. He grabbed your hips, adjusting you on his lap, desperately trying to have some kind of friction, that's when you felt how hard he was.

— I've been craving you for so long…

He whispered hoarsely, bringing you the taste of all the nights you fantasized about his hands running over the curves of your body, saying how good you're for him.

— So don't be shy, taste me.

You took off your dress, revealing your bare breasts. At that moment Hongjoong observed you like the most delicate piece of art, but he wanted to mark you, claiming you as his. He changed positions, attacking your breasts with kisses and hickeys. His tongue working on one of your nipples while he played with the other, pinching it, caused a mixture of sensations of sensitivity, pain and pleasure.

— shit, you're so amazing — you whined

 — Oh, you like that? I can do this all night long, princess.

He grunted, smirking. Your nipple between his teeth caused you a strangely pleasurable agony. However, a lack grows inside you.

— I had a very nice dream that started like this — He said, looking at you, smiling sweetly.

— And how did it end? — you asked, feeling your skin boil.

— you teaching me how to make you feel good while I ruin my little princess.

His calm voice saying something so obscene was a reward for all the waiting during these years. You caressed his face, the warmth of his cheeks brought back memories, now being replaced by new ones.

— Let's end what you started — you whispered, pulling your silver necklace to get his attention.

He gave you a few short kisses, smiling sweetly at each small distance. From now on, words alone would not be enough to express his desires and feelings. While one of his hands supported you on the bed, the other slid down your body. After a light squeeze on your waist, he entered your panties. The silver of his rings made your stomach turn. Circular movements began on your pussy. He observed the smallest of your reactions, always returning to the most torturous points that were indicated to him, sliding his fingers over your slippery folds. He kissed your forehead lovingly even as you grumbled about his fingers searching for more.

— Please, Joon... I need you inside — You sighed a little frustrated.

— We waited so long, what are a few more seconds? — he teased, laughing — I just need to make sure I won't hurt you.

He didn't just want to try to take care of you, but to make sure that only he could hurt you the way he wanted. Slowly you felt your insides stretch and the cold silver once again made itself present, making you gasp heavily. Two of his fingers invaded you while his thumb continued its work tirelessly. Your low moans incited him even more, if you kept up this pace you wouldn't be able to last much longer, but it was far from enough. You grabbed his hand when you felt your sensitivity slowly increase, that didn't stop him from giving your swollen pussy a few taps, making you choke on your own breath.

— Hongjoong... — his sparkling eyes, so pure, begged for mercy.

He wanted to make sure that your first time together was the best possible for you, unfortunately they would have to avoid drawing attention. Next time he'll make sure to make you scream his name to whoever wants to hear, but right now he needed to remember what it's like to have fun with you.

— I want to see you cumming on my cock so badly

Hongjoong was making a great effort to contain himself just to worship you, but he couldn't ignore his own desire any longer. He got on top of you and pulled down his jeans, showing his covered hardness. He pulled you by the waist easily, already showing his need. The wet base of his cock slid over your wet pussy before invading you completely, making a wet sound, you swallowed every inch of him perfectly, your cervix was pressed, causing you ecstasy making you ignore any discomfort, feeling only him pulsating inside you. He moved his hips slowly, sliding into your warm interior, increasing the speed as your moans escaped.

— Fuck, you feel so good — he said, running his tongue over his teeth with a wicked smile, completely different from the Kim Hongjoong you always kept your eyes on — my babydoll is taking me so well…

 The weakly afternoon sun hit his face and made him even more attractive, his concentrated expression and his hoarse moans made you lose yourself for a second, inert in pleasure in all forms, that's when you were surprised by voices outside the house, it seems the boys came back from the lake.

— Shit  — he cursed, pushing the strands of sweat-damp hair back — Chill, baby. Don't hold back.

He stood above you, resting one hand on the headboard of the bed, now making full eye contact, which was a complete mess. It didn't take long for him to return to his work and thrust into you more aggressively this time, making it difficult not to make a sound. That's when he grabbed your hips, reaching your deepest point. Your insides contracted and euphoria took over you, you moaned slowly but were interrupted by him covering your mouth.

— Look at me — he couldn't be enjoying himself more — We need to be quiet. No one but me should hear you like this, right? — he asked rhetorically, going slower but rougher.

You nod with teary eyes, and he slowly takes his hand away, allowing you to breathe in relief.

— I don't care about who's outside — you whispered — Fill me up, please.

He was as surprised as you were to hear those words spoken by your sweet lips. Your wish was his command. Hearing you begging like that, he thrust into you again, hard, in contrast to a soft kiss that he started in an attempt to mask his own moans. You reached your limit, leaving his lips, and he just watched you so vulnerable, cumming on his dick, your liquids mixed and leaking through your pussy, sensitive to the touch. He lay down next to you, cradling you in his arms, caressing your hair, distributing simple kisses over every inch of your skin, showing how proud he was.

— You know we’re not just friends anymore, right? — You turned to him, snuggling into his chest, wondering if maybe you hadn’t sounded too oppressive.

— We’re already married. Have you forgotten?  — He joked, easing the tension in your mind —Honestly, I don’t care about the title, but I’ll keep trying until you’re mine alone.

You kissed, leaving any doubts behind, staying there enjoying each other’s presence for a few seconds until you noticed the unusual silence for a full house. A few grumbles revealed the reason for the tranquility. Hongjoong snorted, rolling his eyes.

— Marco! — He called loudly, looking at the closed door.

And outside the room he heard someone answering “polo!”.

— Damn…

join my taglist

[royalthedemigod]

alright, so I was thinking about beetlebabes. and, how could anyone not ship it? so, everyone talks about how in love beetlejuice is. but, what about lydia? i mean, surely, she did fall in love with Richard (astrids dad) at one point (obviously). but, after that, rory was just a rebound. here are some examples:

Scene 1: She could've gone to any other ghost (cause, you know, she has that ability), but she doesn't. She goes to Beetlejuice. and, immediately shows him and asks what everything means. cause, he must know everything, right? he knew everything last time. everyone thinks this was an "only hope" thing, but I don't think it was. No, not with Lydia.

and, she's terrified of the other side. she wasn't terrified of him. she stayed close to him the whole time.

Scene 2: as soon as he tells her the directions, she asks "where are you going?!" now, this could mean anything, i suppose. but, he was supposed to be by her side the whole time. "where are you going? weren't you supposed to lead me to her? i thought you weren't leaving?" Until he says "I'm going to the little boys room". Obviously, she gets annoyed at this and just finds Astrid anyway. Cause, she can't make him go with her....but he should've.....

Scene 3: This is the part where Beetlejuice shoots Rory with truth serum. Now, I don't exactly know if she saw what he was doing to Rory or not. So, I'm leaving that out. But, notice how, instead of moving away from Beetlejuice, she moves closer to him. She could've moved closer to her mom, or daughter, but no. She chose to move towards Beetlejuice. After, when he gave her that boxing glove, she punches Rory ONLY. She still hasn't hurt Beetlejuice in any way.

The fact that nothing is making her stay near him. She willingly stays there behind him. Still hasn't done a single thing to him. (i mean, neither has Delia and Astrid. They're all willingly standing there with him.)

Scene 4: This is where Astrid gets ahold of the book, and decides to summon a sandworm. Now, the reason Astrid did this was to to distract everyone so they (Delia, Her, and Lydia) can leave. Lydia thinks way differently. When she notices what they're doing, she looks to Rory and Rory only. Like, "yeah, you're screwed!" She doesn't look at anyone else, not even Beetlejuice.

Last Scene: After Astrid tells him off, Lydia rejects him. But, the only reason she does is because of the "6,000 year age gap". Not "Oh, you did stuff to my family", not any other reason. Because of the age gap.

Once she says his name 3 times, he blows and leaves. She looks back at him like "oh, that look like it hurt". Cause she thinks it did. Obviously, it didn't, but she doesn't think that.

Final Thoughts: I think she's just scared of genuine love. I mean, the last time she had genuine love was with Richard. And, they barely lasted. She said so herself "Our marriage was over before the accident". And, because Rory clearly didn't give her shit, she got scared. Not of Beetlejuice, but of what Beetlejuice is showing her.

If there ever is a 3rd movie, I really hope they get married. It's very well deserved for these 2.

This is the song I was listening to when thinking about beetlebabes, btw. (it also reminds me of Aziracrow. but, thats just me!)

[just-some-random-blogger]

you get me. you GET me. you get me so much i screamed when you laid down what you got. UGHHH. literally i hope to write more fics that will interest you because UGHHHHH you just get meeeeeeee its sooo goodddd

i also i too use girl as gender neutral sLAYYY.

I'm so happy you love the cargyll twins ����🫶🫶

The way we always see her as *herself*, beyond her ailment, beyond her concerns of putting up an act, both as a Hightower daughter and/or a Targaryen wife. She's just herself, without being worried that she's disappointing Otto or Daemon.

this is it. this is literally how i envisioned their dynamic to be yknow. when you commented on this once before i leapedddddd for joy it LEAPED really. you get me. you get meeee.

she's just a girl when she's with them. just a girl who loves to swim and pick flowers. did you actually sob cos of the scene with erryk? 🫂🫂🫂 but also... love that for me HAHAHAH.

(I don't even want to think about the fact that the last time she experienced something like this was probably in old town w gwayne when they were children)

dw. i like to think the sibs snuck out to go for a swim for the last time before she was married to daemon. to cheer her up yknow. alicent was there too <3

I love the way you portray Otto's relationship [...]

THISSSSSSSS. THISSSS. YOU JUST GET MEEEE T_T SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP. I literally JUST ranted about this to my friend that everyone is like 'daemon is trying' WHAT ABOUT OTTO I WROTE HIM THAT WAY TOO AND YOU JUST 😫😫😫😫😫 FUCKK YOU GETTT MEEEEEe

[...] with the reader because he's not black and white with his motives, only using his daughter to raise his House's standing. Rather, he's a complex character with layers, he's still a father - albeit a shitty one at that.

YOURE SOOOOOO ON POINT WITH EVERYTHING LITERALLYYYYYYYYYYYYY i thought it was really important to expound on this because DAEMON IS LITERALLY OTTO TO HER!!! BUT IN A WAY BETTER BECAUSE AT LEAST DAEMON IS CAPABLE OF SOME SORT OF AFFECTION. she's like 'ok my dad treats me this way, ergo my husband treating me this way is fine' !!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is so important fr fr because we accept the love we think we deserve.

He loves his daughter, in his own twisted way. How he ensures that she's not having a fit before dropping the baby bomb on her. He worries for her, knows her ticks.

💯 no notes

But it's the way he uses his love and knowledge regarding her to get his own way and to get the reaction he wants out of her that's the most twisted.

THIS!!!!!! ok im so fucking excited i just want to tell you BUT ALL WILL BE REVEALED IN THE NEXT CHAPTER IVE BEEN BUILDING THIS SHIT UP FOR SO LONG IM SO FUCKING GLAD YOU CAUGHT ON IM GOING TO FUCKING CRY.

Also, I love how we're seeing mc slowly but surely starting to stand up for herself. WE LOVE GROWTH IM SO PROUD OF HER, I COULD CRY.

<3 but also..... who's gonna tell her (not me)

Day 173822 of begging daemon to just be normal for once in his life.

ur so me fr bestie

Honestly speaking, I was one of the few that voted for reader to prioritise herself and not go after either gwayne or daemon but ohh!!! I loved loved loved this scene.

🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣💯💯💯 AS YOU SHOULD. AS YOU FUCKING SHOULD. I WAS AND AM STILL ACTUALLY VERY GAGGED THAT THAT POLL WOUND UP THAT WAY. SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING TOTALITARIANISM BECAUSE THIS DEMOCRACY AINT WORKING FOR ME CUZ WHAT DO YOU MEANNNNNN COMFORT DAD BOI DAEMON???????? YUCKKK i mean i get it but DAMNNNN?????

her whole arc with gwayne was rough. spolier? i dont plan on bringing him back at all so </3 if he comes back well 😬😬 shits about to go down

ALSO DAEMON YOU LITTLE RAT,

HAHAHHAHAHHAHAH YOU LIKE ME FR FR FR I TOO CALL HIM RAT HAHAHAHAH AND EVERYONE ELSE THAT FUCKING PISSES ME OFF

YOU HAVE NO RIGHT BEING MAD AT MY GIRL FOR NOT BEING THERE WHEN YOU DEGRADED HER THE LAST TIME AND NOT IN THE SEXY WAY!!!!

😬 yeesh fr.

Her telling him to speak what he wants and not twist his words is soooo real. YES GIRLL SET IT STRAIGHT WE DONT WANT EXTRA HEADACHES IN OUR LIVES!!

🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯 AGAIN AND AGAIN YOU GET ME YOU DONT MISSSSSSSS

I just remembered that she still thinks that night was a dream and I'm heartbroken again </3

dw. she'll find out it wasnt a dream.............. eventually

Pls daemon why do you have to choose aggression and rage every fucking time. Just be cute for once ugghhh.

UR LITERALLY ME FRRR HAHAHHAHHAHA

EVEN THE LINE YOU QUOTEDDDD i feared people might overlook it BUT YOU SAW. YOU GET ME. AND THATS MORE THAN ENOUGH.

I am so honored to have gotten your lovely reblog. i will 100% tag you my love. i'm glad you like my fic and my brain and my words. i love you so much. literally if there is something you want to see in this fic, just tell me and i'll make it happen for you fr fr.

Tormented Spirit | 7

Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

"Is it such a sin to stand up for yourself?" you mutter as tears blur your vision. The way he reacted was visceral, instinctive even. "You never have to stand up for yourself ever again," says Daemon, reaching a hand to you, "come."

Daemon Targaryen x Hightower!Reader | 5k+ | cw: fem!reader, reader has brown hair, wife!reader, twin!Gwayne, arranged/forced marriage, canon divergence, alternate universe, slow burn, smut (cunnilingus, piv, choking, degradation, slight sadism), DD:DNE, panic/anxiety attacks, daddy issues/child abuse/family problems, mentions/depictions of mental/physical/psychosomatic illness, ye old misogyny, angst, typos, etc.

A/N: again the high valyrian is internet translated so lol. please consider leaving comments/reblogs because they really help me with the fic. might make another poll for next chapter stay tuned. | cross posted on ao3

@arabellasleopardcoat

Taking you to the hidden stream was simultaneously the best and worst decision Erryk's ever made in his life. The look of you was holy. His intense focus on your form was to ensure your safety, but, by the gods, it felt sinful to behold your dark hair and light fabric ebbing in the water.

He had hoped a swim would lift your spirits, just as flower picking did, but he did not know it would draw such a tempest out of you. It was as though you were reborn. You plunged into the water and shed all your inhibitions. Your voice became brighter, as did your eyes. You were flooded with more than a dozen memories of you and your twin swimming in the river near your home in Oldtown, and you recounted all of them so excitedly to Erryk.

"Oh!' you exclaim, flipping in the water to get to your feet. You point to something behind your ward, making him turn around. In that split second, you hold in your laughter and grab something from the mossy rocks. Innocently, you say, "that reminds me of something."

Erryk turns back to you, brows knit in confusion. When you you make your way towards him, he clenches his jaw and averts his gaze. The shift you were swimming in was stuck flush on your body, leaving little to his imagination. He was glad to have the foresight to bring you a change of clothes and a towel, and, my, was the pattern on the said towel so very interesting.

"What is a frogs favorite game?" you ask so suddenly.

Erryk turns to you, brows furrowing, "pardon?"

"Tell me the frogs' favorite game, ser," you repeat as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Frogs favored game?" he repeats slowly, realizing now that your expression was mockingly innocent. He hums, "I cannot say I-"

"HOPSCOTCH!"

A frog comes leaping into Erryk's face, nearly causing him to topple as he dodges it. He's so flabbergasted by the turn of events, he calls out your name in offence. He is doubly offended by your laughter. His eyes go wide as you hunch forward, leaning on your knees.

"Villain," your ward mutters, scoffing far too many times.

You can barely catch your breath. You fan your face, "frog-ive me."

Erryk's face only contorts further.

"I could not-" you gasp for air, "could not help it."

In truth, if it was any other who did such a childish thing, he'd have shoved them in the water. Alas, you appeared only more beauteous as you made him a fool.

"Forgive me," you repeat in more serious manner, "Gwayne used to scare me this way often. I wished only to know how it felt, and now..." you giggle, "I can't say I blame my brother for constantly pulling tricks on me."

He huffs and shakes his head, "well. I'm glad to have pleased you, my ever-so-kind princess."

You offer him a guilty smile, "apologies."

Erryk shakes his head, "no. Truly. I am glad to see you in such a state."

You fidget with your fingers as a shiver runs down your spine.

He is quick to unravel your towel. He places it on your shoulders, "perhaps we should go back. The sunset is nigh."

You nod, taking your change of clothes from him next.

He turns around offering you your privacy. It takes a while, but you manage to dress yourself. Once you had your shoes on, you dry your hair with your towel and take his arm, "would you please lace up my dress?"

He nods, avoiding your gaze as he feels his face burn. He quickly laces you up then you return to the Keep.

You both had been laughing, up until you made it past the castle gates, promptly being silenced by the loud shout, "PRINCESS!"

Arryk runs over, charging for his brother. Their steel plates collide as Arryk yanks his twin, "where in gods name did you take her?"

Erryk furrows his brows, "we visited a stream-"

"The Keep is in disarray!" Arryk grits his teeth, hissing under his breath, "everyone's looking for her. Everyone."

You watch the twins huddle close and bicker. As it escalates, you try try to come between them, "Arryk. I was the one who asked him to take me outside the keep."

Arryk does not hear you at first, dead set on arguing with his twin. When you repeat your words the second time however, he turns to you, face softening a fraction. He knits his brows turning back to this brother, whispering something that makes Erryk turn to you with wide eyes, "fuck."

"Why?" you look at them in concern, "what it is?"

Arryk opens his mouth, but Erryk grabs his arm and says, "wait."

"There's no other way to say it," Arryk snaps, ripping his arm out his grip.

"Say what?" you knit your brows.

Arryk turns back to you, then lowers his gaze, "the queen... the queen has passed."

Your jaw drops. Your eyes widen. Your hand immediately covers your mouth. The three of you do not speak for a prolonged moment.

You feel your stomach roll, "w-what happened?"

"She could not deliver the babe herself. The maesters... had to intervene."

Intervene? You could not possibly understand what that could mean, and you find that you do not want to. You shake your head, "and her babe? Is- is her babe well at least?"

Arryk clenches his jaw, "she sired a prince named Baelon... he apparently grows weaker by the hour."

You feel bile rise up your throat.

"Your father and your siblings have been looking for you since news broke."

You shake your head, and gather your skirts.

"As has the prince."

Your face twitches at the thought. You do not delay and make your way inside the Keep.

As you tread the halls, you think about what the queen told you just mere hours ago. There is a sharp twinge in your belly as simultaneously remember how Aemma told you to go cheer for Daemon at the tourney and realize you will never hear a word from her ever again. The thought washes over you like water on the beach, sobering but thankfully not overwhelming.

You hadn't realized you had your head bowed until you hear your name called. You still as you look up, the twins halt behind you.

Otto marches over, brows and jaw tight as ever, "where in gods name have you been?"

You straighten your back as he stops before you, "I-"

"Your wards are double," he turns to the kingsguards, "and doubly useless, it seems."

"Father," you step into his line of sight, "do relieve your rage on them."

Your father turns back to you, expression softening a fraction at your referral. You had not called him father since your argument in the maester's office. He looks at you— takes a good look at you and your sad eyes, your knit brows, your frowning lips. Your hair was darker than it was normally, and as he reaches out for it, he found it was, in fact, damp, "where have you been?"

"I..." you gulp and take a deep breath, "went swimming."

He releases your hair, tilting his head, "with whom? Gwayne has gone."

You pull your head back, "G-Gwayne's gone?"

"The tourney is over. The road is long. He has no reason to stay," Otto says.

Your brows tighten as you shake your head, "he... he didn't... wait for me?"

Otto watches your lips quiver. He watches your nose twitch. When your chest begins to visibly rise and fall, he shakes his head, "what did I tell you?"

You stare blankly at him.

He takes your hands, "what is it I always tell you?"

You clench your jaw and huff through your nostrils, "do not waste your tears on things you cannot change."

Otto rubs your knuckles as he shakes his head again. He gives the Cargyll brothers a look before walking off with you. They make sure to keep their distance before following after.

You turn to your father as he links your arm into his. You are certain, with how he cannot look at you, that he means to tell you something grave. You look front and mimic his demeanor— distant, cold. You are his daughter, face and temperance.

"You enjoyed your swim at least?" he starts, "you are calm?"

You gulp, mentally preparing yourself for what will surely come next. Your voice still falters though, "ye-s."

Otto nods, still not turning to you, "many has occurred since your marriage to Daemon. You admitted you did not consummate your marriage on your wedding night and I was deeply concerned you would fail your duties in producing heirs, especially if your husband was not interested in you."

Your jaw clenches.

"But with the apparent... change of heart your husband has shown, you should know I've had the maesters closely monitor your state."

You knit your brows at that, "you mean my affliction?"

He speaks your name slowly before continuing, "as of yesterday, they have confirmed to me that you are with child."

You whip your head to him and pull away.

Otto does not look at you with the same sense of urgency.

"W-what?"

He sees the fear on your features. He offers a solemn expression and takes your cheeks when your eyes water, "this is good. You should delight, not tremble."

You try to speak but nothing coherent comes out.

"The Queen is dead. Go to your husband and comfort him with this news."

Your mouth goes dry and your father wipes the tears that fall from your eyes. He your name softly. Your sad face looks the exact same it did when his wife died. My baby is having a baby. He frowns and pulls away.

You try to take his hand, but he slips away.

"See her off," the Hand instructs your wards.

Erryk is quick to go to your side, whereas Arryk stares at the back of Otto's head, his lips curling as he did.

"Princess," Erryk says, cautiously reaching your arm.

You turn to him with wide eyes before scratching your tears away, "I-"

"Perhaps you should sit down first."

You pull away from him before he can touch you. The action makes Erryk pull back, an unsavory sensation spreading in his mouth and belly.

"I want to- I—" you take a breath, "I need to find-" you shake your head and begin speeding down the hall.

You were nearly about to break into a sprint, and your wards had to jog up to your side to keep up with you. You don't really know where you're going, but you're getting there, fast.

"Princess, please, slow down," one says.

You can feel your breath and your pulse in your ears.

"Princess."

You find yourself in the halls near one of the gate of the keep. The only reason why you stop is because you hear the voice of your twin. Your breath catches as you lurch towards the window. Gwayne was laughing with one of the guards, already on his horse. Your brows furrow, he couldn't possibly be well enough to be riding on horseback.

You realize quickly this is your last opportunity to go be with your brother, to pull him into an embrace, to worry on him, to tell him your worries, to kiss him goodbye. You know you have to act now and swiftly, but you cannot seem to move.

Your mind is heavy as you think about how your brother is set to leave regardless of your desire to keep close; he said it himself, his place can never be at your side. Though he is the only person who've ever relied on, you know now— you rub your belly, that can no longer be the case. There is only one person you can rely on now... yourself.

It is painful to pull away from the window, but you do, clenching your hands into fists before walking away.

You don't really walk away however, because then, you're frozen in place at the sight of your husband standing a few paces away from you, "Daemon."

He stares at you wordlessly.

You walk towards him, careful as you drag your feet.

He tilts his head and clenches his jaw, "he's leaving any moment now."

You nod, "I know."

"Go to him," he says softly.

"I-"

"Go to him!" he snaps.

You stiffen at his expression. You were adept with anger but he did not look angry. You stop in your tracks, trying to make sense of his restless figure.

Daemon watches you fidget with your fingers.

"If it is your command, I shall obey."

He chuckles dryly, pacing around his spot. He wipes his mouth then charges over, stopping just in front of you. He scoffs when you do not flinch, in disbelief of your constitution. His nostrils flare, "you know my feelings towards your twin."

You slowly shrug, "then you'll be glad to know I came looking for you."

Daemon does not move.

"You know how I feel about my brother..." you mutter, "but..." you lower your gaze, "I'm coming to terms with the fact I can no longer rely on him... it will be better this way."

It takes a moment, but Daemon chuckles. When you look up and his smirk fades. Your beady eyes make it hard to find satisfaction. "So, you will not go to him?" he asks.

You stare.

"You do not want to go to him?"

Your lips part.

He raises his brows.

"I... I do."

Anger rises up his belly, but as if on cue, the sound of horses and carriages moving is heard. You clench your jaw and lower you gaze to prevent yourself from looking back at the window. The prince cannot seem to win, for he should be pleased you did not see your brother off, and yet your sadness leaves sour jealousy in his mouth— he was your husband.

The Cargyll twins look upon you both, appalled by the cruelty of the prince to keep you here as Gwayne leaves for good. Erryk in particular feels restless, unable to stop shifting and fidgeting with his scabbard.

"Shall... shall we go?" you mutter, slowly looking up.

Daemon watches you place a hand on his bicep. He responds only by following you after giving your wards a dismissive look.

The brothers turn to each other, each as unwilling as the other to leave you, but they do anyway.

Daemon is acutely aware of the warmth of your cheek against his arm as you tread down the halls. When, you arrive at your marriage chambers, Daemon opens the door and you notice the bandage wrapped around his hand. He struggles because of this. Once you're inside, you take his arm, eyes trained on his injury, "what happened to your hand?"

Daemon's eyes are fixed on the line between your brows.

"Did you break it?" you turn to him with furrowed eyes.

He pulls away slowly. He wants to know what you'd do next.

"Did you wrap it yourself? It's badly done."

He faintly snorts, "it's on my right hand."

"I'll do it for you," you say, walking towards the vanity.

Daemon follows, watching you procure scissors and vials and other things. You turn to him, motioning to the chair. He sits down, gaze fixed upon you as you take his arm again.

Your eyes are focused on undoing his wrap, "tell me if it hurts,"

His are fixed on your focused expression, "you should sit down."

"I'm fine."

"I want you to sit down," he uses his other hand to grab your wrist.

You stop and turn to him. You turn to the chair across the room but Daemon prevents you from doing so and simply spreads legs, pulling you between his thighs. Quickly, you are sat on his lap and tense look at him. He offers you his injured hand again as his other goes around you, clinging to your hip. He pulls you in, leaning his head against yours to say, "it's a cut, by the way."

You furrow your brows at his admission. You allow yourself a moment to relax before continuing your task. You find it is, in fact, a cut, deep and ugly, "did your lance splinter very badly?"

"No."

You furrow your brows deeper as you turn to him,

"This is glass."

"Glass?" you brow raise, "how did you hurt your hand with glass?"

Daemon licks his lips as he looks at yours. He shrugs, "I broke a bottle."

You pull your head back, "on accident?"

"On purpose," he tilts his head.

You huff and start cleaning his wound, "was the violence in the tourney insufficient?"

He chuckles through his nostrils, "I did not fucking win."

You smear balm on his wound. You do not reply.

It makes him clench his jaw, "and you..."

"..."

"You were not there."

You do not tear your gaze from his injury.

He grumbles, "did you even hear me?"

You lift your gaze then raise brow at him, "you did not want me there. Do you not recall how you cursed at me?"

Your gall makes anger rise up his throat.

You continue wrapping up his hand.

"Well, you were being a bitch," he snaps.

"Why?"

His brows furrow.

"Why was I being a bitch?"

"..."

You spare him a quick glace.

He pulls his head back, "... what?"

"Did I not do my duty?" you turn to him, face blank, "I followed you, congratulated you, inquired of your injuries. I submitted to your desires. Where did I err?" You ask in earnest, "what do you want from me?"

His face contorts. Now that he was faced with such an opportunity, he finds himself unable to speak. What did he want from you?

You wait for him to reply. You prepare yourself for preposterous requirements but you are met only his silence. In that moment, you remember he was just a man. Many a man enjoyed making women suffer. You gulp, thinking about your father.

Perhaps your father was lying. Perhaps he wants you to believe you are with child to get even. After all, Daemon never... finished in you. How then could you be with child?

You secure the binding on his hand, "it is finished."

Daemon does not bother looking at his hand.

"How do you feel?"

He feels a strong urge to shake you... to pull you close.

"My deepest sympathies for the death of your cousin."

He freezes. Right. The queen was dead. He lowers his gaze.

You frown and reach for his cheek. You second guess however and bring your palm to his shoulder instead, "I am here for you, my prince."

His eyes meet yours.

"I am here to care and comfort you."

He leans back, taken by the thought.

You drink in his demeanor, the softness in his eyes, the tension that falls of his shoulders. You release a breath, "if that is what you desire, speak plainly, and do not repel me. Do not ask me to leave if, in fact, you want me to stay."

His throat tightens. He feels like he is ensnared in a bear trap. He rips at his collar, "I... I have other injuries." He pushes you off and paces around as he undoes his top. It is a struggle for him, but he cannot stop or stay still, "cuts and bruises."

You watch as he fidgets and slowly walk over.

"I don't-"

"Daemon."

He stills.

You come in front of him and undo his top yourself. You drop it mindlessly, and once he is bare, he feels conscious under your scrutiny for some reason. You brush your fingers on his ribs, making goosebumps form on his skin. He can't say that that has ever happened to him before. You notice and rub his arms, eyes locked on his torso.

He feels himself getting hard.

"Did you tend to these yourself as well?" you brush over a cut on his hip.

Oh. You were still examining him. He only hums in response.

You frown, "did no maester come to your tent?"

"I..." he starts.

You circle around him, inspecting for other injuries.

"...wanted you to come to my tent."

You come to his side. He finds the frown on your face. You take a moment before saying, "you tended to your wounds well at least."

"I want you."

You nod, "I will tend to you—"

Daemon takes your nape, lowering his head to kiss your lips. It takes a moment for you to relax, and his belly burns at the sound you make when you do. Your hands come to his sides and your nails graze faintly into his flesh.

He pushes you back until your laid on the bed beneath him. His kisses trail down your skin as he works to get you naked. He kisses your shoulder, then your sternum. He makes sure to lick your breast and leave a mark on your rib before peppering kisses down your belly.

Your breath grows heavy when he lingers by your womb, sucking kisses on your skin. Your throat tightens think of your father's words again. It makes you tense, and Daemon feels it. Of course, he doesn't know about your conversation with Otto, and thinks your tension comes from your self-consciousness.

You lift your head, pulling a pillow beneath it, and look down at your husband. You reach for him, tangling your fingers in his silver hair, "Daemon."

He hums, nipping your flesh in response.

You try to sit up, "D-Daemon, I-"

He shushes you, pushing down on your hip bone. He looks up at you, muttering something in High Valyrian.

"Please, Daemon, wait-"

"Be still," he says, violet eyes hooded, "do I not take care of you?"

Your breath hitches as he sinks down.

"Do you not enjoy my mouth?"

"I- that's not-"

"Do you or do you not?"

"I... I do—"

You are not able to speak after he buries his face between your thighs. You are reduced to breathy cries and a twisting spine. Daemon, though he continues to hold you down, relishes every second of it and feasts more ardently. He sighs, securing your thighs on his shoulders, nudging his face deeper into you, his nose brushing against your pearl.

He relishes how quickly your wetness builds, and soon, he feels your arousal dribbling down his chin. He moans, nails biting crescent moons into your skin. Your belly rises and falls in sync with the crescendo of your mewls. At this point, both your hands are tangled into his hair, and your pulling and scratching only further inspires his tongue.

You call out his name, screwing your eyes shut as you throw your head back and arch your body. Quickly, your belly tightens and you sequentially dig your heels into his shoulder blades. He squeezes your thighs enough to make them bruise, and yet the pain is what pushes you into orgasm, garnering a lewd and loud sound from your mouth.

Daemon hums, lifting his face just enough to see yours as he brings you to peak. He moans at your expression, grinding his hips into the cushion, desperate for friction.

Your body trembles, unable to settle as his burning mouth persists on your molten mound. You begin to squeak and he catches the moment you open your eyes to look at him all teary. It drives him mad. With a deep inhale, he pulls away, wiping his chin before he undoes his breeches.

You relax and catch your breath, hands dropping to your sides.

Daemon watches you, your trembling legs glistening with the pleasure he's drawn out. He can feel himself throbbing in his pants. You watch as he hastily frees himself. Though your head was hazy and your body was tried, your belly burned at sight of the sticky liquid dripping down your husband's neck.

"Fuck, Daemon," you reach for his belly. You trace his defined muscles with your finger tips. He snatches your hands when he finally pushes his pants down.

You squeak when he pushes you to your side, one hand on your shoulder, another hiking your leg up by the knee. You whine as he folds you into the sheets just before sliding his hardened cock in your wet cunt.

He hisses, leaning down to your neck. His words are hot against your skin, but you understand nothing.

Whatever tenderness he had before was gone, now he was just fucking you like a rabid animal. Daemon could not help himself, he loved how supple and pliable you were, and twists you into a form that keeps you prone. When the bed begins to creak because of his thrusts, he holds you down where your neck and collarbone meet. He puts enough pressure to restrict your breathing, but not enough to choke out your pretty noises.

At some point, he decides your leg is getting in the way and pushes you flat on your chest. He then gathers you by the hip, hiking you up enough to fuck you nicely from behind.

His thrusts are more intense now. You scream into the cushion as you find your elbows. Before you can prop yourself up though, he's pinning you down by the shoulder, saying something in High Valyrian again.

"D-Daemon," you whine, left cheek smushed against your pillow. You could feel your next climax building quickly.

He responds by rubbing your clit, drawing tears and another scream out of you because of your sensitivity.

You feel yourself helplessly clenching and unclenching around him, absolutely boneless under his vigorous intrusion. You could feel your knees slipping but Daemon's grip on you would not see you move from your position. Your toes curl. Saliva drips out your open mouth.

"Māzigon va, riña," he snorts, "sepār mirrī angotan tolī." Come on, girl. Just a little bit more."

You do not understand, so you only whine out, "Daemon."

Daemon growls and rubs one side of your ass, "you're doing so good for me."

He spanks you, but that's not what makes your eyes open.

"Milk my cock with your tight cunny, come slut."

You begin to grit your teeth.

"I want to see my seed dripping down your thighs," he groans, mind unable to focus on anything but the hot, wet slapping of your skin.

It's unsurprising that you come first, as Daemon always assures you do to underscore his control and dominance over you. He yelps out a sharp fuck, nearly coming in your cunt because of how your body seizes up around him. Your orgasm overwhelming, yet your eyes water for more than this reason. His words make you aware your husband sees you nothing more as a vessel for pleasure, and your pleasure is regretfully cut short because of how sharply he pulls out, his load spraying on your already dripping labia and pubic hair.

He strokes himself a few times, feeling his cock twitch in his hand as he watches your mixed come trickle down your legs. He sighs, "fuck," then scoops the cream in two fingers, plunging it in and out your still spasming cunt.

You squeal when he finger fucks you, body unable to remain upright. You are grateful he loses interest rather quickly and crumble into the bed as he stands.

You watch him walk over to the drawer, where he then pours himself some wine. You gulp, remembering your dream from last night. It sobers you out your high. You clench your jaw and roll over to clean yourself up. You head to your vanity and wipe yourself down, grabbing your robe was you do.

Daemon, whose thirst was now quenched, turns back to you with a towel. He is confused to see you standing. He watches you flip your hair behind you, pulling it out of your robe, which you then secure around yourself. He knits his brows as he walks over, "what are you doing?"

You turn to him, sitting on the vanity chair, "getting ready for bed."

Daemon stares, and you take his prolonged silence as an indication to proceed with your nightly routine.

The prince squeezes the damp towel in his hand as he watches you brush your hair. You catch his stillness from the mirror and turn back to him, "oh."

You drop your brush and take the towel from him, "I'll help you clean up."

Normally, he enjoyed this, but right now, he can't. He is offended when you begin to pick up his clothes, so much that he scoffs, "the fuck are you doing?"

You halt midway picking up his trousers. You stand and turn to the closet, "ah. Did you want new clothes?"

He pulls his head back, no longer offended, but hurt, "you want me to leave?"

You are caught off guard by his question. You stare at him for a moment, unsure if he was serious. You could not identify his expression, so you did not know if you tell him the truth. You would not survive being berated after confessing you wanted to sleep with him. You dodge the answer altogether, "weren't you leaving anyway?"

Daemon's cheeks tense. He huffs, stepping forward, yanking his clothes out of your hands, "no."

You are bewildered by his actions, for to you, his actions are sudden. You are petrified in fear, which is why you instinctively begin to apologize, "f-forgive me, I-I-"

His nostrils flare and his jaw sets.

"I-" you motion with a hand, "- you always leave."

His clenches his jaw, "do you want me to leave?"

"I—" your throat tightens and soon you can no longer look at him. You want to beg him to stay, but you recall how you did that with your father, and your mother, and your brother— begging does not make people stay. You whisper, "I... I'm terrified."

When you lift your gaze, Daemon shirks and decided to dress. He gulps as he pulls his trousers up, turning back to you. He clenches his fist before reaching out for you.

Your heart races as he takes your hand.

"You've served me well. If you are terrified... I'll leave you."

You whimper when he pulls away, holding him tighter than he did before your hands part. Your lips quiver. He knits his brows. You shake your head, "I- I... I do not want you to go."

He is taken off guard by how you suddenly embrace him.

"Please," you beg, though you knew it would not serve you well, "stay."

He turned to stone. He cannot seem to move at all but your arms are determined to stay around him. You begin to weep against his skin and he can feel your breath grow ragged. Only then does he manage to return your affection.

He brushes your dark hair away from your face and cradles you against him.

"Daemon."

He leans into you, enough to be able to brush his cheek against yours, "kesan umbagon." I will stay.

You sniffle then sigh. After a while, you ask, "what does that mean?"

"I will stay."

You sigh again, pulling away to look at him. You offer him a sad smile, "thank you."

He frowns, wiping your tears.

When you go back to bed, you offer him space in case you've made him uncomfortable. He stares at you, awaiting your embrace. You are mere inches apart but it feels like yards and yards.

"Good night, husband," you say before turning over.

He chuckles dryly, staring at your dark hair. He turns to the ceiling, "good night."

[happypotato48]

GMMTV 2025 Part 1 Unhinged Tangent Thoughts

Well well well, here we go again. gmmtv the first horseman of the QL apocalypse has grace/curse us again with their presence. surely there would be something worth watching out of this branded trash fire. i will left that one het show out because i don't go there but lol, Nanon really is the last bastion for straight people huh? 🤣

รัก���ห่งสยาม (The Love of Siam) The Musical : i was 12 when this movie came out so i didn't watched it in theater, only catch it later online when i was in my late teen. tbh i didn't really liked it, i was knee deep in yaoi at that point so i found this movie to be a bit boring. let see how it goes but fornow... no comment.

Dare you to death ไขคดีเป็น เห็นคดีตาย : Eeh, not gonna lie i'm not feeling this one fams. joongdunk doesn't sold me as an actors that could do mystery well. i might be wrong but i'm putting this one for a maybe.

ไหนใครว่าพวกมันไม่ถูกกัน (Head 2 Head) : Only boo! did major disappointed me, and this one seems to be a basic BL so i'm not having much hope. but i still want to see how SeaKeen doing as an growing actors. i'm going to tune in for the first couple EPs then see how it goes.

Burnout Syndrome ภาวะรักคนหมดไฟ : They already got me at Off being naked, and a messy love triangle nonetheless yes plzzzz. glasses guy (i refuse to learn his name) need more workshop, he's too stiff and wooden to sell me on this messy romance he going to has with Gun.

คุณวาฬร้านชำ (Whale Store xoxo) : Its looks cute and i do like LoveMilk. another one in the show up for the couple first EPs pile.

Only Friends : Dream On : or as i dubbed Only Firends 2 These Homosexuals are about to get electrocute boogaloo. i refused to watch Only Friends season one and i will refuse this show again. .... will definitely show up for sex scenes that will get cut up an posts on twitter tho.

That Summer ผมเจอเจ้าชายบนชายหาด : NOPE! next one plz. jk this one seems boring and basic and i hate prince and princess story in thai media. cuz you know the la majeste law is a thing so they are always come from some imagined country and i just don't like that. this one goes to the never to maybe if i hear some buzz pile.

My Romance Scammer รักจริง หลังแต่ง : Sign me the fuck up! let gooo! i'm in a weddings mood and this one has Hot Ohm as a scammer and Dimple Fluke as a dumb himbo whose marriage someone after knowing them for a month. yessss! this show is specifically made for me and i will be seated! Mark and Junior also there i guess.

ความลับในบทเพลงที่บรรเลงไม่รู้จบ (Melody of Secrets) : this show is not really my style but forcebook is forcebook and i'm an easy whore. plus they did ripped my heart out in that ep of PP. i will be watching with caution cause let be real we have no faith in gmmtv to pull this kind of thing off :P

รักครูเท่าโลกเลย Love you teacher : *a loud voice of thousand people yelling Shame! Shame! in background, me tapping the mic : Perth might pull this one off y'all. LET ME COOK! hear me out hear me out this trailer is the first time that Perth feels like he understood the assignment. he looks grumpy and tired but also really in love with Santa's character. this is the first time that this boy made me feels things and i'm just happy for him. AND LET ME BE CLEAR i never read any age regression fics before in my life so this is not even in my trash turf. but idk, i feels thing and it's fluffy and nice. so i will be watching, plz don't judge me.

MU-TE-LUV โปรดใช้วิจารณญาณในการรักเธอ : uhhhhh i'll watch the kathoeys ep and that's it :P

เปย์รักด้วยแมวเลี้ยง (Cat for Cash) : i'm not a firstkhaotung boyie so idk seems like another basic one. another one to the maybe pile wooo!

Girl Rules กฎหลัก...ห้ามรักเธอ : Only Friends but for the girls, pass.

เปิดเทอมใหม่ หัวใจหัดรัก (Boys in love) : Basic highschool BL with PodPapang as a side in 4 couples show?!!? what sin did i commited huh!? gmmtv why are you doing me dirty like this. i will be watching it for the newbies and PodPapang but i will be holding a grudge the entire time.

ทำนายทายทัพ (My Magic Prophecy) : My babies are back!!! and Sea is swol, my, my. don't know what to think of it yet also wtf with all the tarot and fortune readings did someone at gmmtv is going through a divorce ??. anyway i'm a royal whore so i will be seated for this one.

หมาเห่าเครื่องบิน (A Dog and A Plane) : TAYNEW is back in a bl fucking finally!! this one seems promising with its plot and the comedy seems strong. poon also in this as a hussy and i can't be more stroke for my boy. i'm a bit worry about class disparity again cause the thai name of this show is "A dog barking at a plane" it's idiom that mean a lower class person pursuing someone out of their status. we got burned before with peaceful property so holding out hope that we'll not to going get burn again.

มีสติหน่อยคุณธีร์ (Me and Thee) : Phuwin doing comedy inner monologue?! You son of a bitch i'm in. although Fish upon the sky sucked ass in terms of plot imo it was one of the best BL comedy coming out of thailand in recent years and this show reminded me so much of that. at worst it going to be funny nonsense of a show, so what could possibly go wrong hehe (plz don't fuck this up gmmtv.)

WU : Oh hell no! this show is going to be a bromance i've learned my leason from PP and i will not going there again. its looks cool but i'm not doing it I CAN'T!

จาฤกรติชา (Memoir of Rati) : i'm not fan of period piece but this one seems angsty and queer. and maybe second time's the charm for greatinn. they also uses a cheap trick of Great's oilly naked body to lure us in like the siren song of abs and sadly that worked for me 😅

Ticket To Heaven เด็กชายไม่ไปสวรรค์ : G4 are not in a cutesy BL Wowoh! i really like the trailer for this one. the thai name for this show is "Boys/Boy don't goes to heaven" and it's make me get all the feels. i'm intrigued and excited for this one the most cause this one doesn't feels like a typical gmmtv show and against all odd i will hope they could deliver.

Welp let see, i'm excited for 5 out of what 20 shows?? oohh boy gmmtv really in the we throwing things untill something stick era ain't they. i think i'm in the more hopeful side of people whose has been burned by gmmtv. so i'm really hoping that the more unique shows that they got would actually turn out great cause despite what i've said lately about Thai BL, i'm very passionate about them and want to see them do well. i want to see Thai BL and Thai media in general to be someday be recognized on the global level, and gmmtv with all it woes is still the leading voice in this industry. i want them to learns and grow out of this idol manufacturer mindset, which maybe a wishful thinking but i'm still going to be holding up hope for a better days for Thai BL. any fucking way don't fuck Ticket To Heaven up gmmtv or i will be doing cursing ritual on you!

[flightyalrighty]

…I find it lowkey weird when someone says Sonic is bit of bully or mean in your comic.

I know you have him take after Archie and Fleetway, but he feels normal to me?

Or is it because I grew up with Sonic media that had him being abrasive that I got used to it..?

This image of being this -perfectly nice- hedgehog that people get from him kinda makes me wonder constantly, do you know how he was back then?

Would you perceive him the same way if you gotten to known him a bit later excluding the older comics?

SEGA has kept a few things consistent with Sonic and one of them being he was always this dude with an attitude. for better or for worse. That didn't mean he didn't care for anyone, it's just part of who he is. Once you can see past that, you know that despite his meanness, he's a solid guy that means well.

(I got a few asks in a short span of time so I hope I'm lining up the correct follow-up with the original here)

So! Okay. So, here's the thing about Sonic and his whole "attitude" thing. These days, canonically, it's kinda non-existent? Sonic's personality got sandpapered (in the games) until it was nice and smooth for the past, uhhh, like deca -- No, not even. I think he's actually been like this since 2005.

Like sure, he'll make a few lame jokes at Eggman's expense in the Meta Era but like. He's a ray of sunshine to everyone else (besides that one thing they got rid of in the Sonic Gens "remaster" with Amy). He's not even GENUINELY mean to Knuckles the way he used to be. There is no actual beef there, it's really just friendly banter he's having with his friends.

Even more about this below cut vvv

The main sources of Sonic Attitude™ I ever experienced growing up was that little itty bit left within Sonic Heroes and MOSTLY just Archie Sonic (and some STC Online reading I did as a kid) and Sonic X. Make no mistake, Sonic definitely had a range of "Attitude" to "Asshole" in those works. It just wasn't present in the games. So if you were a kid growing up and only knew Sonic FROM the games, that so-called attitude was gonna be minimal if you're age 30 or under.

And any attitude he gave would be only to people he perceived to be enemies (or Jet the Hawk).

Jump forward in time to the end of the Meta era, and we've come to a point in which Sonic is very nice. He's everyone's cool big brother. He's a "friend to all children." The perfect role model. He's very nice in Sonic Prime. In IDW, some fans would even argue he's TOO nice. TOO forgiving. To this I say, it is what it is. I just don't believe Sonic's mean-ness level is all that consistent. Perhaps someday we'll see that attitude again. Perhaps.

Now, to finally address your initial comment: I am the one who says this. I am the one who says he is mean in Infested. And! That's because he's written that way.

This isn't modern nice Sonic, but this also isn't Attitude Guy from the 90s/early 2000s. This is a secret third thing. And by that I mean he's an amalgamation of STC Sonic and Archie Sonic. He's done a lot of learning and growing and he doesn't want to hurt his friends, but his first instinct is harsh, snippy commentary or outright lashing out. He has learned and has to bury that horrible little monster inside him. For Tails's sake.

[cadaveerie]

cw: transphobia

i'll paste here a message i left in a certain community and add sth else, as i keep finding stuff like this:

i know a lot of us are critical of datv (in a lot of cases for good reason. and with nothing else behind it), but i think that if u have an ounce of respect for trans and nb ppl you should rly stop recommending videos in which, for example, a person not only misgenders a nb character and their creator who both go by they/them pronouns, but also rants about how ppl going by they/them pronouns are mentally ill. i dont give a shit about how "he makes a few good points", have some decency. it's incredible how little backbone some of you have, and that ppl think this is acceptable. if you want to get a point across, you can write it yourself. it's fucking pathetic that i even have to fucking say this. get a grip and have some principles. so much for progressive people, i feel so safe and welcomed right now.

this post was initially bc i saw this in a specific datv critical community, but i just saw a transphobic post in the general datv critical hashtag. it's unacceptable to misgender both a real person and a character that goes by they/them on purpose. there's literally no excuse for this, you're transphobic.

*please*, if you care about trans people, call this shit out. im not telling you to do posts "exposing" others, but to let them know that this is dehumanizing and unacceptable.. unless that's gonna help their algorithm, in which case... i'm not sure what's best at this point. probably not worth it to send comments at least. perhaps in some cases these comments might come from a good place (even if a lot of transphobes also pretend to be trans/lgbtq allies to avoid getting banned while openly displaying extremely bigoted views, so be aware of that.. but in the rare case they come from a good place, it might at least help people realize their mistakes. in a lot of situations im not sure of what the best reaction is, but i just hope you don't accept this behavior in smaller communities. please do not normalize this, these are extremely hard times for trans people and most of us are in distress.

[honey-bell-aint-well]

How would Fresh react if a host he possessed, who knew what he was, wasn't resisting that much because they understood his situation and couldn't blame him, I mean he has to do that to live, and instead asked him to at least not drain them whole and leave them before they become unrecoverable, like that would be fair cause both of them deserve to live, and also just being very miserable and hurting and sad and silently begging for comfort and the same understanding they gave to him while they give him the saddest kicked puppy look in the mindscape/their imagination, ideally wanting to share control or at least for Fresh to occasionally humor them and listen to music or consume fiction they like, but doubting that would ever happen, and generally just hoping for Fresh to not be unnecessarily cruel?

First of all: Thank you for asking me a question about Fresh! Now I get to ramble >:3

Second: Interesting question. For the host it would be terrible, and I question why they would be so ready to hand their life over to someone else. Do they not have family or friends, are they not invested in their own life? Why? Are they a host by force or were they manipulated into it? Or did they give themselves up willingly? If it's the latter, then why?

Fresh probably wouldn't give them acknowledgement. He doesn't have the capacity to care about them, and he thinks of hosts as just tools. He wouldn't be cruel to them, because why unnecessarily hurt a body he's using? He doesn't want to feel pain.

But he canonically does enjoy it when the person he's possessing feels pain from him feeding on their soul. A quote from CQ: "In honesty, he’s just being sadistic and enjoys gaining control over others, especially if he tricked them beforehand. Possessing a crowd of people and making them do what he wants, just makes HIM happy. And by ‘happy’ I do mean his extremely numb, limited view on it."

But if he possesses them AFTER the Loveball? If he becomes capable of guilt, I think he'd still ignore their pleas, but this time out of a sense of self-preservation rather than indifference. I think he'd start to hate himself for it, but would be unable to even comprehend giving up the safety of having a host. His drive for survival is extremely strong. I think he can survive outside of a host, but his parasite form is very weak. I think he'd consider having a host to be necessary.

I also think he'd still be sadistic and enjoy their pain, but the enjoyment would be pretty soured by all of his new negative emotions.

I think, out of guilt, he'd let the host listen to songs and read fiction [as long as it isn't inappropriate. If it is then he'd censor it]. He'd probably do it very rarely though, and he'd be mad at himself for doing so. He's not used to guilt, and he doesn't understand why he's doing these things even though it doesn't benefit him. [Clarification: He'd be confused, but he'd default to anger because he's really bad at dealing with his emotions].

Over time as he feels more, he might begin to consider them more than just a tool. At that point, I think the guilt would be so strong that he'd feel physically sick. I don't know what he would do in that case.

And then there's the whole Loveball existential crisis. That definitely factors into this, but I'm not exactly sure how. He'd definitely keep trying to appear as his usual radical self, no matter how he feels. He might not succeed sometimes though, because having your entire worldview flipped.. that has the tendency of affecting people and how they interact with the world around them.

Thank you for asking! :D

[pretty-idol-hell]

So, the Idol Land Dream Idol Grandprix is finally here! And... I admit, I'm not quite sure how it works!? I'm hoping if I translate all the text word for word, perhaps we'll figure it out together. Okay. Let's go...

Entry Information [for the] Winter Dream Idol Grandprix '24

Form teams and participate in the Grandprix ♪ Collect 3 million Grandprix points and get the Grandprix coord!

(Looks like it's a darker color variation on the original Winter Grandprix coord. I knew it!)

Entry period: 11/28/2024 after maintenance through 12/04/2024 12:59 JST Grandprix period: 2024/12/4 after maintenance though 12/18/2024 at 12:59 JST

Thank you as always for playing Idol Land PriPara!

Starting from the end of the 11/28/2024 maintenance, entry into the Winter Dream Idol Grandprix has began. *In order to participate in the Winter Dream Idol Grandprix, you must enter first. So please be sure to enter.

Dream Idol Grandprix Entrance: A bus heading to the Dream Theater has stopped in the plaza. By clicking on the bus, the Dream Idol Grandprix will open! *You can also get there from Event Information. Entry period: 11/28/2024 after maintenance through 12/04/2024 12:59 JST

During the entry period, you can do the following things. 1.) Choose your teammates 2.) Choose your team name 3.) "Lesson Live"

A "Lesson Live" is where you can use promise tickets to play. If you score over 20,000 points, you will get "Dream Idol Grandprix Tickets" as a reward, which will be necessary to perform in the Dream Idol Grandprix. *Three promise tickets are necessary for a Lesson Live.

Once the entry period has ended, we will move on to the main event, the Grandprix period.

Grandprix period: 2024/12/4 after maintenance though 12/18/2024 at 12:59 JST

Once the Grandprix period has started, team members and team names can no longer be changed. Please play the event song with the team you entered with and try to get as many Grandprix points as you can.

The Grandprix points you earn will unlock various rewards.

*More information about the Grandprix itself will be provided after the Grandprix starts.

We hope you continue to enjoy Idol Land PriPara.

There. Now you guys know just about as much as I do.

It sounds like what to do now is form teams and get as many Grandprix Tickets as possible by performing Lesson Lives.

It also sounds to me like the goal of the Grandprix itself is to get as many points as you can with the amount of Grandprix Tickets you have.

Does it matter who is on your team or how much your teammates play? I... I don't know!!

[fragileinthemaking]

hii, i hope youre doing well today and i was curious about some things about your ed (possible tw later?). I've been in your situation (somewhat, not to this extent) and am currently bul1mic with exercise as the form of purging/slowly healing idk. I wanted to know first of all how do you manage to burn more than 1k calories in a day because that is literally INSANE, I never thought that its possibls so I'm really really curious about your methods.

I also wanted to know your opinion on healing and the ed itself. Do you wish you never had one, do you hate counting c@ls, do you miss your life before the ed? Did it help you in any way (did you notice physical changes)? Are you experiencing any health problems because of it, are you dizzy or yellowish, have you ever fainted? Do you feel proud when skipping meals or anybody points out something ab the ed? Do you wish to heal but don't have the courage/will to, are you forced into healing, are you comfortable in the ed and want to continue and not start a healing process? How do you feel when you overeat or can't exercise the c@ls out? How do you feel about the future, do you wish to continue like so, do you wish to heal or neither of them?

I know it's A LOT of questions actually and I'm really sorry about it, I will explain now. When I was deep in my ed I never actually thought about it and what is going on with my life and I'm genuinely curious as to how it sounds and how my perspective was, I'm really trying not to offend you right now so please don't answer to anything if I'm offending you in any way!!

Hii I'm fine with any questions but damn that's alot (not in a negative way just alot of words and im bad at reading large groups of text)

First of all tw for ed stuff anyone that doesnt want to see this

with the burning 1k c4ls. my (almost) daily exercise typically burns around 500-700. secondly im a minor, im in school, pe is a legal requirement and that burns between 300-900 depending on what we do so combining those i can burn up to 1600 a day or if i do my normal stuff for twice as long that can also reach 1000 which i sometimes do on weekends when i have more time.

healing is something which if you want i highly encourage you get. i wish i had never gotten one, i wish i had never started counting c4ls, i wish i had spoken to someone before it got worse. i no longer feel like im able to get help and ive gotten myself to deep in the rabbit hole to get my mindset out so if you want help and its never to late then do it. get the help you need ill support you all the way.

i hate counting c4ls. i only eat in public when i have to and i always have to secretly look at the c4ls and hope nobody sees. ive written them on my hand afew times when theyre really random numbers and have been questioned about it so just had to lie to my friends which i hate doing. life before an ed fells like it would be so much more free and i would be more careless and do whatever i want without wondering how many c4ls in burning/gaining from that activity. if i could go back to when i started having an ed i absolutely would and change whatever i can to not end up like this.

the only physical symptom ive had is my stomach getting smaller but im waiting for the day my thighs / ass (idk what a more appropriate name would be) get smaller as they make me insecure. im not sure if its from having an ed but im almost always dizzy espescially when i stand up to fast. ive never fainted or been yellowed.

when i skip i dont feel proud more like im doing something correct and nobodys ever pointed out an ed but if they did i would deny it but secretly be proud someone noticed. i dont want to heal. i might have in the past but currently i have no plan to. i want to continue my ed without help. (my mindset is just 'if its a problem its your job to fix it' and i dont want to fix it). ive been put in counselling which has 6(i think) sessions left but if they think im really bad then i might be put in actual therapy. ive hinted about an ed with things like 'i often skip meals' and 'i just forget' or 'i dont have an appetite' and secretly hope they might catch on and get me help.

when i overeat or cant burn the c4ls i just feel sick and like im a failure. theres not really anything else i just feel bad and like i failed at having an ed. for the future my main goal is to reach my ugw and stay there getting lower if possible but not higher unless i really want help.

That was alot of questions but i feel like this is a place where i can talk about whatever(especially my ed) without anyone judging me or knowing who i am. im glad i could think about my ed on a deeper level other than just 'hmm weight be gone pls' so like thanks?? idk i hope i answered everything i might have missed a question. im always open to any question anyone has i just like talking to people and getting to know them.

[annaphoenix1994]

Everlasting Lover

Previous Chapter - Masterlist - Next Chapter

»»-------¤-------««

The drive back to Kiera's house was quiet. Lawson was the only one sober enough to get us back safely. If it were up to me, I would've driven, but I wasn't confident in getting everyone back in one piece as I truly had no idea where the fuck I'd be going. 

Roughly a half-hour later, the truck began rumbling as it transitioned onto the gravel driveway leading to the ranch, the lights from the main lodge catching my attention. I still yet waited to meet her parents, but that was a terrifying thought to me because by what Kiera had told me, her father was a hard man to please. 

Lawson parked the truck outside Kiera's house, tossing the keys to me as we helped Kiera get out of the passenger seat. She slung her purse over her shoulder as it was clear she was tipsy, but still aware of her surroundings. "Thanks, kid," she said to Lawson, taking the keys from me and putting them in her purse. "I may need to head out somewhere." She said to him, referring to making a sudden trip. 

"Not tonight, you're not." 

"Sun-fucker!" 

"What?" 

"You heard what I said." 

"You're right, I heard what you said, but I don't understand what the fuck that means." 

"Fun-sucker," She corrected, removing her vape pen from her Carhartt shirt pocket, taking a long drag. "That's what I meant to say." 

I shook my head with a smirk at her slurring speech, "Fucking hell, let's get you inside." 

"I know where I'm going." She said, nearly stumbling on one of the larger gravels in her driveway. 

"You sure about that?" I chuckled. "You're about to fall over, love." 

"Nope. Got two feet under me." 

"Two left feet." 

Both Lawson and Frankie began laughing, "Well, just make sure she doesn't kill herself. We're gonna head back down to the bunkhouse." 

"I can hear you, asshat." Kiera scoffed at her cousin, taking another long drag from the vape pen, embracing the feeling of an incoming nicotine high. It wasn't a good combination: liquor, beer, an empty stomach, and nicotine with an ounce of adrenaline. "I'm sorry, Simon. I just have a headache. I drank too much." 

"You're not telling me anything new," I smirked. "I'm sure it took the edge off. Now you can sleep it off." 

"Aye, Captain." 

"Lieutenant." 

"Right, sorry. I guess you're still in military mode." 

"I never come out of it, Officer." I replied, knowing she didn't like to be acknowledged as an officer unless she was on duty, just like I didn't like to be called anything other than Lieutenant when it came to titles. 

She rolled her eyes playfully, pulling out her keys from her purse to unlock the front door, snickering as she felt along the wall for the light switch as the faint blue light from her vape pen engaging with another puff gave her enough light to see where she was putting her hand. "Okay, I'm going to bed." 

"I was hoping you would," I shook my head. "Do you need anything?" 

"A million fuckin' bucks and another vape." 

"Give me that," I said, watching her take another drag from it. "That's the fifth time in two minutes you've taken a drag off of that bloody thing. Give it a rest." 

"You referred to it as a pacifier," She scoffed, frowning as I took it from her grasp. "I need it."

"What you need is to go to bed. Sleep off all that liquor that you clearly can't take." I poked, loving her reaction, especially when she arched her brows at me as if I offended her. Fuck, she was so cute. 

"I beg your damn pardon?" 

"You heard that, didn't you?" 

"Loud and fucking clear, Lieutenant. I can handle my liquor." 

"Yeah, it shows." 

"I can't with you." 

"No, you can't, that's why you're going to bed." 

"Oh, I can, I'll go get more right now if it means proving a point." 

"I'll pour it out." 

"You wouldn't dare." 

I raised his brows at her. In truth, I didn't know where she kept the whiskey, but I knew I could easily toy with her in this state, and I was taking advantage of it. I liked winding her up. It was a release for me as I couldn't recall thinking about anything military-wise while poking at her. "You clearly don't know me, then." 

"And you clearly don't know me." 

"You're right, I don't, but what I do know is that you can't handle your liquor. What happened to Adderall when I asked you back at the base why you could drink a lot and not seem drunk?"

She scoffed, "Such a jackass. And I'm out." 

"You're going to take the biscuit, love." 

"Who the fuck started talking about biscuits?" She furrowed her brows and opened her arms. 

"It means you're starting to push your luck, darling." 

"Well, now I'm hungry for biscuits." 

"Go to bed," I breathed a laugh. "I'll go get you a water." 

"Aren't you a gentleman." 

"Don't get used to it." I poked, although I was lying. I wanted her to get used to me taking care of her, because I could see myself tending to her for the rest of my life. I wanted this, yet I felt stupid because I was thinking about these things way too early. 

How does that saying go? When you know, you know? Or something like that?

I watched her walk towards her bedroom, leaving the door open as she set down her purse before turning the corner that led to her bathroom. I then searched the kitchen for a bottle of water, finding one in the fridge before hearing gagging sounds. Bloody fucking hell. 

I walked into her bedroom, which was definitely uncharted territory for me, but I didn't care. She sat on the wood floor of her bathroom, hunched over the toilet as the night's activities took their toll on her. "Least you waited until you got home." I commented, daring to step in and take a seat on the side of her bathtub. 

"Yeah, I'm just trained to throw up on command." She scoffed, and I could see that she was fighting the urge to throw up again. The smell was sour and mostly liquid - looking more like stomach bile. 

"Rough combination, love, but I'll have to give it to you - you took it like a bloke."

"Simon, speak fucking English." She sighed. 

I chuckled, shaking my head, "Sorry, let me translate for you: you took it like a champ. That better?" I asked, standing up to then get a cloth from the closet before dampening it in the sink and offering it to her.

"No, because I hate feeling like this." 

"Then don't try to have a drink-off with some stranger at a bar with whiskey after you've already had four glasses and a cocktail. It'll fuck you up every time." 

"If anyone took it like a champ, it's you. You haven't shown one sign of being drunk." 

"Because I know when to stop myself." I replied, making the move to pull her hair behind her shoulders, holding it for her before she regurgitated again, seeing it coming far before she even felt it.

"You don't have to be here at my whim. It's my fault. I don't want you to see me like this-"

"Let it all out. You'll feel better." I said, ignoring her statement. 

I wanted to be there. 

She relaxed after the next round of unmerciful bile, sitting down completely on the floor as she reached up to flush the empty remains of her stomach. I moved to sit on the edge of the bathtub, watching her skin flush to white. I then handed her another cloth, watching her press it against her forehead. "Thanks." 

"Don't mention it. Here," I added, picking up the water bottle from the floor. "Don't drink it too fast or you'll be here all night." 

"Thanks for the tip." 

I breathed a chuckle, keeping my gaze on her as she looked to be searching for something. "What're you looking for?" 

"My nic-stick." 

"What in the bloody hell is that?" 

"You'd call it a Ciggie." She retorted, using my British slang against me by mocking a British accent.

I then patted the pocket of my jeans, "I don't think so. You're cut off." 

She scoffed, "It's mine. I paid for it." 

"You sure are paying the price for it right now, huh?" 

"God, I can't stand you." 

"You can't. That's why you're sitting." 

"Simon, I swear to God, if you don't shut up, I'll hit you right where it hurts." She warned, shaking her head as she noticed that I was sitting with my knees apart as it was a comfortable position for me. Manspreading, is the common term for it, but it was just comfortable. 

"Big words," I mocked, standing to my feet and offering my hand to her. She hesitated before grabbing it. "Let's go to bed." 

She tilted her head, "Wait, are-are you insinuating on going to bed with...me?" 

"I meant it as in getting you to bed."  

"Oh, well, I mean, if you wanted to, I got a nice King-sized bed in there..." She trailed off in a goofy tone, looking around playfully as if she were asking, but not asking directly. 

"I'll keep you up." I replied, not giving her a direct answer, hoping my warning of keeping her awake was enough. I wanted nothing more than to wrap my body around hers, to hold her throughout the night while I was her primary source of warmth while resting my nose against her head. God, I wanted that so bad. 

"I doubt that. I sleep like a rock." 

"Rocks don't sleep?" 

"It's a metaphor, Simon. Christ." 

"You still didn't answer my question." She cocked her head at me. 

"I don't know. I- you'll be awake all night." 

"Yes or no, Simon. Thought you were simpler than that." 

Take your fucking shot, Simon. Take it. Embrace her and protect her from her dreams. All you'll be doing is sleeping. There's no harm in that.

"Are you sure that's what you want?" 

A brief pause. 

"Yes." 

"I'll meet you there." I said, ensuring she made it back into the bedroom before I did, watching her sit on the bed as I walked by, sure that the smell of my cologne lingering in the room. 

When I returned in a change of clothes, she played on her phone, the TikTok app being her kryptonite as it distracted her from her brief sickness. She giggled at one of the many funny videos, watching me walk around the bed and sit on the edge. "Now you're hyper." I commented. 

"No. I feel better, though, but my head hurts. Now's the time to hand me back my nic-stick."

"Not a chance. You're cut off."

She rolled her eyes playfully before setting her phone aside and turning off the lamp, leaving us in complete darkness. "Good-damn-night." 

The bed rumbled from the chuckle that was stuck in my throat. I hoped that she was seeing that I was beginning to open up to her, and I hoped that she saw that I was only poking and prodding at her just to get a reaction, not to piss her off. 

I lay as stiff as a board on the bed, one arm draped over my stomach and the other folded behind my bed, my body laying over the comforter, listening to her steady breathing as she was slowly falling asleep. I knew I wouldn't fall asleep any time soon, and I was glad that I managed to bring her iPod along with me to drown out the silence. I looked over at her, reassuring myself that she was comfortable and breathing before sifting through her playlists. Living on the Sand by Colter Wall playing through the headphones I had found in the drawer of my loaned room. I then looked up at the ceiling, listening to each lyric as I imagined the song was about me. 

♪Keep that gun locked away, locked away, boy; Well, you know you're an angry young man; Going in town with six rounds you're sure to be Hell-bound; That house you've got is built on the sand...♪

I then began to wonder where Kiera's mind would go when she listened to this type of music, wondering how her energy matched with the genre. Perhaps it was the heavy strums of Colter's guitar, or Tyler Childers' raspy Appalachian voice, or Whiskey Myers' guttural lyrics - I liked it all, but it all held a darkness to it that held a lot of meaning and emotion. 

As the song ended, I kept his gaze on the rotating ceiling fan as a soft strum of a guitar played on the next song - Everlasting Lover by 49 Winchester began playing. I haven't heard the song before, but I certainly was going to listen to it. 

It enticed me as much as she did. 

♪Everlasting lover; Oh, how I owe you my gratitude; You were the first to make me feel like I ain't just some dude; Everlasting lover, baby, you've got the kindest eyes; And when mine are red and I look half dead you can't even realize; When I get stoned and feel rejected; weary from the road and half beaten down; you come off of your throne and I feel protected; Oh, and even from the bottom of the bottle I know you won't let me drown...♪

[lorirwritesfanfic]

Break - Part I

Book: The Royal Romance Pairing: Liam Rys x MC (Jade) Rating: M Word count: 2124 Reading time: ~8min Summary: After dinner in Fydelia, Liam sent a message to Jade asking her to meet him so he explain why he didn't stood up for her and chose Madeleine to be fiancee. But neither of them were ready to face the outcome of their conversation. Based on the prompt: @kingliamappreciationweek day 4: Relationships

Author's note:

Jade Bourbon is a creation of this author. The other characters belong to Pixelberry Studios;

This year's KLAW brought me back to the days I wrote incessantly about Liam, so I decided to revisit some old fics and revamp them. This piece was originally part of Coming Back With a Bang, but because I've been frustrated with book two scene in the balcony with Liam since 2018 and my attempt to write a fix-it fic then lacked emotion, I'm rewriting it and hoping this time I can do justice to Jade and show how she felt;

There may be some lines from canon in here. I just don't know which ones 😅

Thanks to @lizzybeth1986 and @sazanes for hosting KLAW again. I don't know if a rewritten fic will be accepted, but regardless it is or not, thank you for once again inspiring me with prompts to write Liam.

While Maxwell waited outside the ladies room, Jade looked at herself in the mirror and heaved a sigh. She was a mess. Sure, she could fix her makeup and go back out there. But what for? Watching Madeleine snaking her hands over him? For more people to tell her how she became a pariah  in the kingdom and should just leave? What was the point of all this anyway?

Turning on the sink, she washed her hands and placed them on the back of her neck to freshen up. She was still resolute not to give up. But for the night, she had enough.

As she walked out of the ladies room, Maxwell stood up from the settee with his usual encouraging smile. 

"You seem better."

"Thanks..." She simpered. "Can I go back to my room now? We congratulated the happy couple, toasted, dined on their honor and blah blah blah..." Jade gesticulated as she twisted her lips in annoyance.

"Sure. I think the staff already has it cleaned. I'm kinda beat too."

"Let's go then."

Lacing arms with her friend, Jade and Maxwell walked towards the grand staircase.

"Wait, we don't have to go back and say goodnight to them, do we?" Jade made a face.

"Nah... It's okay. It's been a long day for all of us."

"Tell me about it..."

A soft knock on the door echoed in the room, waking Jade up. She had no idea how much time had passed or who could be knocking on her door right now. 

After getting out of bed and taking a quick look in the mirror, she reached for a robe and answered the door.

"Hey you!” Her eyes soften at the sight of Maxwell. “What’s with the flowers?”

“Special delivery!” Maxwell beamed as he walked in carrying a huge red roses arrangement. “Housekeeping sent over a new centerpiece for your end table.” 

"Now?"

"The staff apologized for sending it so late, but they thought it'd be nice for you to wake up and see the flowers."

"Aw, it really is nice..." She smiled, burying her nose on the centerpiece to smell the roses when she noticed a small envelope wrapped around one of the stems.

Opening the envelope, she picked up the note inside and her eyes rose in surprise.

“Oh, that’s Liam’s handwriting," Maxwell prompted.

"I wouldn't blame you if you're furious with me, but please meet me so I can at least explain. I'll be on the balcony outside my room in twenty minutes." - L.

As if pulled by a magnet, Jade walked outside to search for Liam's balcony.

Maxwell picked the note from the floor, read it while following Jade outside. "You're thinking about it, aren't you?"

"I shouldn't..." Jade bit down her lip as her eyes began to water.

“Hey..." Maxwell approached her, placing his hand on her arm. "I cannot imagine how much it stung to see him with Madeleine. But Liam wouldn't send you this if he didn't think he owed you an explanation."

"Should I go?"

"You're my friend, but I'm also his friend and I kinda want to say 'hell yeah! Go get your man!'" Maxwell enthused, making her giggle, but immediately his features grew a bit serious. "I'm rooting for you two, but if you say it's too much for you right now, I'll get it."

Jade chewed on a nail.

“Whatever you decide, I'll support you. Don't forget to get some rest, okay?”

"Thanks, Max."

"Have a goodnight, Little Blossom." Maxwell said as he left the balcony and then left her room.

Alone once again, Jade mulled over Liam's note and remembered their encounter earlier. The way he gazed at her, complimenting her, kissing her hand as gentle and passionate as ever, his eyes searching for hers throughout the dinner... 

Jade walked back into the room and searched for the nicest yet comfortable clothes she had in the closet. She needed to be ready to climb his balcony if necessary, but still look her best in case they end things. Maybe he did have an explanation. She just hoped it'd be a good one.

As soon as Jade stepped into the garden, her eyes darted to Liam's balcony. As one of his fingers idly ran on the rim of a nearly empty wine glass, Liam sat by himself, lost in thought. Ignoring her racing heart and dry mouth, she walked towards the pillar under his balcony and hoped she could not only climb it, but manage to tell him everything that was choked inside her.

“Jade!” Liam murmured in surprise as he rushed to help her get into his balcony.

Her feet barely had touched the ground when Liam swept her into his arms. His nose buried on her hair, tears fell down her cheeks as the inebriating scent of his cologne overtook her. It was so hard not to lose herself in his embrace. If there was any place she yearned to be again, it was certainly within his arms.

Yet, flashes of coronation night and the dinner earlier came to her, reminding her of her current situation. Reality always seemed to hit her as hard as a slap on the face.

After wiping her tears discreetly, Jade pulled away from his eyes and said, “You're engaged."

Liam swallowed hard and nodded.

"We need to talk."

“Yes, of course. It’s just…" Liam took a step closer, gazing into her eyes. "Damn, Lady Jade, how I’ve missed you.”

Jade averted her gaze for a moment to gather strength and say what she had to tell him. “Aren’t you going to ask me if it’s true?”

“No. I don’t need to ask to know it was a set up.”

“You knew?” 

Her eyebrows rose as she tried to process what he said. 

"You knew?!" As she repeated, a wave of anger took over her. “Then why? Why did you let me go?" Her eyes glisten with tears again. "Why didn't you try to reach out to me? Why did I have to hide like a criminal if you knew I was the victim? Why did you have to choose… her?” Her lips quivered, her emotions taking the best of her as she cried again. 

"Oh, Jade..." Liam whispered, pulling her back into his arms. "If only you knew how much I wanted to tell you that I believe you, that I always knew you'd never spoken more than a few words to Tariq because you were simply polite to him... But I couldn't."

Her hands balled into fists as she tried to push him away, yet Liam didn't let go. She continued, hitting his chest harder as hot tears streamed down her face. 

And in spite of it all, Liam didn't pull away nor tried to defend himself. He simply continued to hold her as tight as he could. When she finally hugged him back, Liam kissed her forehead in adoration. He waited for as long as it took her for her to calm down then led her to the settee so they could talk.

"Why did you say you couldn't?"

"Though I knew it was set up because Drake told me about the broken lock on your door, I had no proof. No one knows where Tariq is, who could've told him to go to your room. Someone had gone to great lengths to frame you." A muscle in his jaw twitches. "If I chose you that night or tried to remain in touch with you or the Beaumonts, I might have put you in greater danger."

"Oh?"

"I haven't told you about my mother."

"You mentioned she died when you were young."

"The details of passing weren't disclosed to the press, but she was poisoned."

Jade's mouth fell open.

"We still don't know who caused my mother's death. And if that person is still out there, walking freely into the country estate that was built to be secure..." He shook his head. "I can't think about the possibility of losing you, Jade."

Jade chewed on a lip, not knowing what to say.

"I'll regret what I did at the Coronation for the rest of my life because it hurt you and I'm sorry that it happened as it did. But in that moment, the only thing that I could think of to keep you safe was to make whoever is behind this believe that they won. But I am so, so sorry... This must have been miserable for you."

Liam reached for her hand and kissed her knuckles.

"You could've called..." Jade murmured.

"I had to make it seem like I had no more ties with you. But I knew you were safe at Ramsford. Bertrand kept you distracted with etiquette, ballroom dancing and Cordonian history lessons."

Her eyes widened. "How do you know that?"

"Bertrand and I talked briefly through a secure line. I told him to cut you slack so you could have time to go jogging. I heard you were playing the piano sometimes..."

"He did keep you up to speed," she concluded, still annoyed.

"In case you were wondering, we only had short calls. If I had talked to you, I wouldn't be satisfied with a one minute call every now and then."

"Me neither..." Jade sighed. "Okay... I guess it makes sense. But I still have one question. Why her?"

"Madeleine is different from the other suitors. We never really got along, she doesn't care about that I feel nothing for her. I couldn't ask any of the other ladies to go through an arrangement like this. I wouldn't want to hurt anyone else's feelings."

"But you don't care about Madeleine?"

"You've had time to talk to her."

"Unfortunately... Is she awful with you too?"

"To put it mildly..." Liam made a face.

"I thought she was mean to us girls because we were competition."

"Perhaps it was, but in my opinion, that's Madeleine being herself."

"This arrangement you have with her…" Jade pressed her lips together, struggling to think about what she was going to ask. "Does it make me your mistress?”

“Hardly. You’re the woman I love. The only one.” Liam locked his fingers through hers. “I know this is not what any of us hoped for, but all I could think about at that moment was finding a way to keep you in my life.”

“Liam, I—" She shook her head. “This is a lot.” 

“I know. But my hope is that it's all temporary. Just until we find whoever schemed against you. After all of this, if you still have me, our love won't have to be a secret.”

“But what if we can't find who did this?"

"I'll still be all yours even if I have to marry Madeleine. But if you don't want it, I..." He trailed off, then took a deep breath. "I won't stand on your way."

As tears welled up on her eyes once again, Liam went down one knee and cupped her cheek, wiping a tear with his thumb. “Stay."

"Liam..."

"I'm talking about tonight. Stay here. I need to see with my own eyes that you’ll be safe.” 

Jade sobbed. This was too much. Becoming his mistress was a hard limit for her. Yet, how could she leave him if every part of being came alive under his gaze? Unable to find words to express what she felt, she just sat there and sobbed while Liam took a plce by her side again, pulling her close in his arms.

It was still dark when Jade woke up. Around her waist, one of Liam’s arms pressed her back against his chest. On the sleeve of his shirt, makeup stains. Signs of how much all of this has been tough on them.

She took a deep breath, taking in the scent of his aftershave lingering on the pillow, the warmth of his arm and chest protecting her. She knew deep inside he would do anything to shield her from insults, dirty looks and any threats. But it still was a lot for both of them.

“Liam,” she whispered, rubbing his hand.

He frowned a little before opening his eyes.

“Hey...” she turned to face him and gave him a weak smile.

Hey,” he said, stifling a yawn. “Are you okay?”

“Yes. I just have to go back to my room now.”

“Of course. Let me talk to the guards outside first.” 

He then got out of the bed, ran a hand in an attempt to fix his tousled hair and opened the door. A couple of minutes later, he returned.

“You can take the hallway. None of the guards will ask questions. As far as they're concerned, you were never here,” he said, placing his hands inside his pockets.

“Thank you.” 

Jade sat up, put her flats back on her feet and headed to the door.

“Jay...” he called, taking one of her hands before she reached the doorknob. “What about us? Will we be okay?”

“I hope so... But I need time to think. It’s a lot to process.”

Liam nodded, looking down at her hand as  his thumb stroked her mother’s ring on her finger.

“Hey," she uttered, cupping his cheek gently. "We're not over. I just..."

"I know."

Before they could think about it, her arms wrapped his neck as his hands clenched on the back of her sweater. Would things change between them if they stayed away from each other? Would life give them another chance? They didn't know. But as far as anyone else knew, there was no way back for them.

[beef-brisket]

Levi: Alright. Those are very valid concerns and issues, Adam. Relationships need work from both parties. It's not only damaging to your relationship with each other, but also with your daughter.

Lucifer listened. She's only six months old, how much damage could he really do?

Levi: Now, Lucifer. Why sex?

Lucifer blinked, not understanding the question.

Lucifer: Uh... why sex? I mean... look at him.

Lucifer didn't know what else to say. But he knew it wasn't a good answer when Adam rolled his eyes.

Levi glanced at Adam, then back at Lucifer, her hand, and he gave hardening.

Levi: What do you mean by that?

Lucifer: ...He's the first man. He's literally perfection. Who wouldn't want a night with him?

Levi: So... let me get this straight. You value the sex you have with Adam, the first man, over the marriage you have with Adam, the father or your child?

Lucifer tensed: ...That's not what I meant.

Levi: What did you mean, then?

Lucifer: I-I mean... he's amazing. I love him, why wouldn't I want sex with him? And I don't see a difference between Adam and the first man- he's both. Their both perfect and important to me- it's the same person! Adam IS Adam!

Lucifer chuckles and leans back, he smiles at Adam but it drops when he's not even looking at him.

Levi hums and writes a quick note: Lucifer. I'm sure you of all people know what kind of weight titles have. Do you think there's a difference between the king of Hell and Lucifer?

Lucifer: ...I mean... I'm Lucifer... who's also the king of Hell. Is... is there a difference?

Levi: Do you always feel like the king of Hell?

Lucifer: No. Sometimes... I feel empty and cold. Then, when I'm doing work, I feel stressed and fake.

Levi: Fake?

Lucifer: Like it's an act. I'm not put together or even slightly functioning. I'm just... a mess most of the time. I've never felt like a king. Not for thousands of years. I feel like a fraud. A lie. I demand respect, but I don't deserve it. There's no difference between the king of Hell and Lucifer. Their both pathetic. Both a lie.

Lucifer shrugs: I gave up trying to change that. There's no point.

Levi: There is a point. Your daughter. Both of them.

Lucifer froze and glanced to Adam. He was now looking at him, he looked sad but desperate.

Lucifer: I...

Levi: It's not just you, Lucifer. It's never been just you. Charlie is over two hundred years old, but she still needs you. Does she deserve the best version of you?

Lucifer nodded, looking at Levi: Yeah, she does.

Levi: Does Avery deserve you at your best?

Lucifer: Yes. Yes she does.

Levi: Does Adam? Not, Adam, the first man. But Adam. Your husband. The father of your child.

Lucifer: looked at Adam: Yes, he does.

Levi: Then. It sounds like the king of Hell and Lucifer needs to change. For the better. And it's not just them you need to better yourself for.

Lucifer turned to Levi. He really hopes this isn't another pregnancy announcement.

Levi: You deserve it, too. Probably more than anyone.

That was even worse than a pregnancy announcement.

Lucifer: I... what? I don't... I've done... I deserve nothing. I don't even deserve Adam or Avery! Fuck- I don't deserve Charlie!

Levi: ...you deserve love, Lucifer. And compassion and devotion. Both of you do. But Lucifer. You can't change for them, if you don't change for you, first.

Lucifer glared: T-Then I might as well just throw everything away! Because I've done some horrible shit, Lizzy! Hell torments me every damn day! I deserve it! I can't change! How can I!? I deserve no happiness or love! I'm the Devil! The most hated fucking being in existence! Adam even said so!

Adam: Fuck you, Lucifer- that was years ago! Don't you think my opinion of you has changed!?

Lucifer glared at him: Obviously not, if we're here.

Levi: Lucifer. You're attacking him. And yourself. Enough.

Lucifer looked away. He was beyond annoyed and confused.

Levi: You have a lot of work, Lucifer. Not just kingly duties, but personal ones. I'm going to book you in for personal counseling.

Lucifer raised an eyebrow and eyed her: I'm doing personal counseling-.

Adam: Counseling from someone that's not your daughter, dumbass.

Levi: Adam, please. No name calling in my office. I know you're mad. But please try and keep it civil.

Adam rolled his eyes and looked away.

Lucifer: I... don't need counseling-.

Levi: That's what everyone that needs counseling says. Stay behind after this session, so I can organize it for you.

Lucifer felt that there was no way to fight this, so he nods.

When Lucifer and Adam exited Dr Levi's office, they waited for her in the lobby.

Lucifer: ...Great session, huh? I sure learned a lot! It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be!

Lucifer laughed awkwardly after a few seconds of Adam not speaking. Eventually, Levi walked out and got the payment ready. Lucifer watched as Adam paid and headed for the door.

Lucifer: I'll be there in a second, dove! Don't leave without me, haha!

Lucifer organized a few personal sessions, and Levi did a few for Adam to. She handed him three cards with their individual and group session dates.

He thanked her and walked outside. He looked around, and his heart dropped when he saw Adam had left.

Separation Trial

@beef-brisket @things-arent-what-they-seem66

Adam tapped his fingers against the table in a distracted manner. He had been there at the restaurant for a while now. Waiting for his...waiting for Lucifer. He needed to talk with Lucifer, he wanted to talk to him at home about it, in private. However, when he asked about meeting him, Lucifer simply nodded his head and said they could meet at this restaurant.

He didn't even take Adam’s idea at eating at home into consideration. Although the place Adam sat currently was upscale and nice it wasn’t what he wanted to do. This wasn’t where he wanted to have…the conversation. He sighed to himself as he saw Lucifer approach. He barely even said hello before Lucifer kissed him on the cheek before seating himself.

Lucifer: Hello my dearest, what’s going on? Why’d you want to talk at a restaurant? You know we could have talked over the phone. You made it sound so urgent.

Adam took a moment to keep his anger in check. Once again Lucifer wasn’t listening.

Adam: What I wanted to talk to you about couldn’t be said over the phone. It had to be in person. Lucifer we have been married for three whole years now.

Lucifer: Yeah I know, last week was our anniversary. Don’t you remember Addie?

Adam felt his breath hitch and he struggled to not cry then and there. Their third anniversary had been a disaster, he didn’t want to go into it. But Adam had would forever hate that day. It was what made him bring this meeting with Lucifer.

Adam: I do remember, and so should you.

Lucifer: But I literally just said that I

Adam: No, I’m talking about what happened that day. Can you please tell me what happened?

Lucifer was nervous at his husband’s harsh tone but answered him.

Lucifer: Well, I do remember that both of us were so busy, I with handling a fortis problem, then Charlie called and she needed some help with the hotel, and I didn’t get back till late at night. Oh and you had that concert of yours, by the way how was it? I don’t think I asked before.

Adam felt his eye twitch.

Adam: It was not JUST a concert Lucifer.

Lucifer: …Did something happen at the concert?

Adam: More like what didn’t happen.

Lucifer: Did no one applaud you? Were they booing you? Honey don’t worry your a great singer, you’ll bounce back.

Adam: No, there were no applause nor cheers. Because my audience wasn’t there.

Lucifer: Oh, Adam I’m so sorry.

Adam: You weren’t there Lucifer.

Lucifer: What?

Adam: You were not at my concert Lucifer, You were supposed to be there. Because you were meant to be my audience. Because that concert was going to be dedicated to you! It was supposed to be my wedding anniversary present to you!

Lucifer: But, but, but it’s not my fault if you don’t tell me in advance!

Adam: Lucifer I told you weeks prior about it. And you always said that you’d be there. But of course you lied.

Lucifer: I didn’t lie! Shit came up Adam this isn’t my fault. If anything you should have told me before I left that day! On top of that what did you expect me to do? Not do my duty as king. Tell the goetia to handle it themselves!? Say no to my own daughter, your own daughter, I shouldn’t have helped her at all?! Geez you can be selfish sometimes.

Adam’s eyes widened at that statement. He was shocked to his seat still. Then slowly he nodded his head in understanding. He was an idiot for ever even considering giving Lucifer a second chance. Taking a deep breath, Adam looked directly into Lucifer’s yellow, red eyes and said,

Adam: Lucifer, I want a divorce

[teaboot]

tranny freak :)